#believe me i have in no way stopped doing self ship stuff lol

[affectionatealien]

Gonna make an effort to be more active here... I've been alive I swear I've just been VERY caught up working on my new yes man ukagaka for like. 3 months now?

[musicallisto]

hiiiiiii if possible can i please also request a 🐚 with formula one? i am a (suffering) woman in stem (biomedical engineering) and although i can be introverted in situations w big groups i love spending time with my friends & making them laugh. i have no gender preference and i cannot wait to see what you come up with <33333

oookay lisa, it is high time i told you about this random ship/association that has been living rentfree in my mind for a while now... i can't keep quiet any longer, and i will wax poetic about you two, because clearly your one true f1 match is lewis hamilton.

okay first of all let me get the obvious out of the way: this man is absolutely gorgeous and oh so lovely oh my god. out of all the drivers on the grid he is the one i would be RACING to introduce to my parents. my mom would never ever reprimand me for anything again if i brought a guy like lewis home.

lewis is such an attentive guy, so he would most definitely try to keep up with your studies/work the same way you do his. it's only fair, and besides, he loves it when you nerd out about engineering; the way your eyes twinkle and you trail off because you get a little self-conscious. he thinks it's the most adorable thing ever, because guess what! he is a little bit of a nerd too!

also he loves asking you for input from an engineering perspective, which you've told him time and time again that you're in biomedical, you have NO idea how his car's aerodynamism or mechanic stress work, but he still values your expertise which is, obviously, the highest of praise coming from someone who is basically The Expert himself in his domain.

and you may act humble and like the mercedes engineers' jobs are way out of your league, but you do know your stuff about thermodynamics and fuel chemistry and composite materials, and lewis is blown away every time by your off-handed commentary, as if your observations were self-evident truths. certainly to you they are, the same way he's got an almost carnal understanding of his car's behavior on the track, and that's why you make such a fierce team. you're the theory, he's the practice <3

that's probably how you would meet by the way. and they were coworkers... oh my god they were coworkers... WAIT NO what if you were lewis' RACE ENGINEER ok ok i'm backtracking!!! you DO know your racing stuff actually. ohhhh good shit

because you know lewis is a cocky bastard (honorary, he's earned it) and when he's still high off the adrenaline of the race, perhaps when he's just scored a podium, he relentlessly flirts with you over radio. tells you he never could've done without you, right, sweetheart?, in that suave voice of his. on LIVE TELEVISION??

oh the twitter girlies are eating that up. and you are fumbling over your words, trying to congratulate him in a way that doesn't give away how putty in his hands you are.

but you're the one he runs to as soon as he's off the podium and free from the clutches of journalists and cameras, without fail.

planet F1 practically implodes after saudi arabia 2021, not only from the actual race which is already a good enough reason to go crazy tbh but also because lewis hamilton, breathless after racing past the checkered flag, seemingly asks you out point blank.

"congrats, lewis! you did it! that's first in the world again!" "... i believe this means i've won my bet, and i can finally take you out?"

we won't talk about the grand prix that followed, lol. he may have lost the world championship but at least he won the girl of his dreams, or something <3

you guys are so silly together it's actually disrespectful to the whole paddock. like there are people working here, loves. doing their 9 to 5. stop giggling and taking the piss at toto wolff in hushed whispers like school children!!

but you won't, and though they may not say it... all the other drivers love you two together <3 less so when knowing you are watching seemingly gives lewis wings during shootouts, however...

[wutheringmights]

can i ask for the hot mess commentary plz?

sure

Before we crack into this, take a moment to read what I said about the neck thing. I write that up a long time ago, but it provides some important context and is a good refresher on the secret history of Spirit's bi awakening.

Also, the director's commentary for this chapter is here, in case you want to review that.

Good? Okay, let's go at it.

So.... they had sex. Yay. Insert jazz hands.

I feel like I actually have way less to talk about here than I did for the neck thing. Granted, a lot of the neck thing is behind the scenes stuff. I guess that's a good place to start.

You may recall the informal hiatus CTB went on after Spirit came back to Warriors's era. I used a lot of that time to actually work out how to end CTB and what character/plot points I would need to hit to have a satisfying conclusion.

During this time, I was listing out things about Spirit and Warriors that I need to return to. Spirit had his codependent histories with the greenhorn and Zelda, or really his strategy for offering himself up as a means of feeling more in control, that needed to be explored. I needed to do some kind of follow-up with Warriors's latent attraction.

The two topics were similar enough to make me want to tackle them at once. But the moment I did, my brain decided that they should hate fuck. (I definitely was also thinking about my old concept of Spirit's unrequited crush-- I still write the characters like that happened, even if it never actually made it into the story.)

Why hate sex? Honestly, it would be kinda funny. Plus, it's a good writing exercise to ask yourself what would happen if your characters in conflict did (not really).

I knew immediately it could only end badly for everyone involved. But I knew I needed Warriors to hit an emotional low point to motivate him to do his Castle Town plan. I knew I wanted Spirit's big speech to come at a time when he and Warriors were emotionally connecting again, and that the response to that speech needed to push him back to Time.

Shit, I thought. This might be what they do.

But, like. I love protecting my peace. I have been skirting around the edges of homo eroticism with Spirit and Warriors as much as I dared. I didn't want to invite angry anons. But then.... did I really care? I understand where people are coming from, but at the same time... this is such a minuscule non-issue. Truly, and with emotion: who even cares?

First off, we already established with the neck thing that whatever fucked up thing these two have going on does not count as shipping. And second, if it does count as shipping, then fine! It's shipping then. This is what the plot is. I've been working on this story for too long to compromise now. I'll reap the consequences, whatever they may be.

I decided to keep it on the books, half believing I would change my mind once the chapter came up.

I was feeling very confident about my choice, up until the day of posting. That was then I got slammed in the face with regret. Luckily, there hasn't been any issues. I may have overestimated as much the general populous care about CTB. If there was ever any confirmation that this story has the world's most niche audience, this is it.

And you all have been great. There's been a lot of encouragement and kind words from you the readers, after you all stopped yelling, of course.

(Though I was prepared to be an obstinate jackass to anyone who tried to complain. I found a loophole and was ready to exploit the hell out of it. I was so ready!)

Funnily enough, everyone's reactions to the past few chapters helped to reassure me the most. There was been a lot of jokes about Warriors and Spirit having the world's worst situationship (lol).

So them having sex turned into an important character and plot moment. Warriors and Spirit got built up and tore down in self-destructive ways. This experience becomes the wake-up call Warriors needed to decide that he was ready to stop being the hero and get his life back.

A lot of people expressed surprise that Warriors and Spirit would go through with it even after talking it out. To be honest, I was a little surprised too! I was half convinced that Warriors had grown enough to stop the self-destructive cycle and turn Spirit down. But when looking at the scenes leading up to them being alone-- from Twilight denounce his friendship with Warriors, Toto turning him away, and Warriors generally in an emotional rut over his intellect and lost beauty--I realized that Warriors was already in the middle of another downward spiral. He would go through with this, if only to feel valued. It was the war all over again.

Also, apparently half of you guessed that Warriors would get cigarette burns from Spirit eventually. I hope you all were happy with the results!

When I posted that snippet from the chapter, apparently all of you knew that a kiss was coming. Ooops. I'm a little glad I surprised all of you with what happened next afterward.

On to funnier things:

I meant for there to be more compare/contrasts between Warriors's nights with Icarius and Spirit. The only one I really managed to do was Link being unable to sleep next to Icarius vs Warriors falling asleep easily.

Because this chapter and the last were supposed to be one, this scene was supposed to come out around Valentine's Day. Could you imagine?

I had the silliest time trying to figure out how to get Warriors and Spirit alone in a room together. I had this grand plan about them needing to get a room in a different inn from the others, whether because they were too tired to walk home after dancing or because they were too drunk to remember the way. Then I realized that Ganondorf could just give the Chain enough money to get more rooms. I realized this way later than I should have.

If you're wondering.... they switched....

I wrote that Warriors thought that sex with Spirit felt like an argument. That is because they are both the bossiest motherfuckers in bed. They both want things done their way or else. It's combative. Unfortunately, they both like the challenge.

I did have an idea for how to end this whole matter in a funny way, both involving someone from the chain finding out.

In my first idea, Time barges into what he thinks is just Warriors's room, in the middle of some kind of rant. Then he sees both of them sitting in bed, pauses, then promptly walks out. Warriors and Spirit quickly get dress before there's a knock on the door. When Warriors opens, Time walks in casually and starts his rant again while pretending none of this had happened. He would wait until Warriors was alone to be like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

My other alternate scenario involves Warriors and Spirit getting a room in a different inn. In the morning, Spirit is hurriedly trying to leave when there's a knock on the door. This time, it's a few members of the chain asking if he's seen Warriors anywhere. He says no. All but one walk away. The one who stays (probably Legend) would lean and discreetly tell him that he knew the room was under Warriors's name, so if they were done, could he tell Warriors to get his ass outside? Cue Spirit burning up in embarrassment.

EDIT: I actually had a third silly scenario idea. Similar to the others, Twilight barges in to talk to Warriors about Midna (they're still friends in this scenario; this was an idea from a long time ago). Warriors is still in the bed, but luckily Spirit is in the bathroom. Warriors tries to have a normal conversation without alerting Twilight that something was amiss. And it almost works until Spirit just walks out of the bathroom, waves, and goes to put his clothes on. Cue Twilight's 404 error.

So, yeah! That's the Hot Mess. As always, it's been really fun to see everyone's reactions. Warriors and Spirit are both extremely polarizing, and I love hearing everyone's hot takes.

Does this count as toxic yaoi? Not until I see an AMV to "Numb" by Linkedin Park. Luckily, Warriors and Spirit will never do this again. Probably.

[sunflawyer]

I really adore your blog and your OC is so adorable! You're really the one that got me kinda interested in self shipping, so could you please tell me how you got yourself to just... do it? I'm really afraid to be cringe or recieve judgement if I do something like that, along with breaking the canon kinda scares mr. I would appreciate some thoughts/tips on how to get over yourself lol! Have a great day. ૮₍ ´• ˕ •` ₎ა💗

AHHH anon this is super sweet!!! thank you for liking my blog and abby!! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠) I'd be more than glad to tell you my story!!! 🧡💐

first of all: cringe is dead!! selfship is supposed to be enjoyed by you and yourself only. thats why its called 'self'ship!! you dont have to worry about what others might think of you. because here in the selfship community we're supportive of each other!! 🧡 id be more than happy to help you too!! <3

also, canon means nothing here! i know there are selfshippers out there who follow the canon storyline for their selfship, but there are others who dont! (like me!) i know it can be very scary to do that, especially if people from the fandom discover you and ask you stuff like "why is this like this!?" and believe me, it happened to me too. but!!! dont listen to them!!! it might sound hard, but if you believe in yourself (and all the people who support you) you'll eventually feel less scared! (｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡) its your story and your universe after all — nothing and no one can stop you!

i know there'll be moments of doubts, but trust me, if it makes you very happy and you want to do it, just go for it! you can start slow and do tiny steps, and i'll be here to accompany you always anon (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ you can always go to my inbox to rant and ask me stuff!

and always remember! your f/o loves you lots and lots and lots and they'll guide you in every step of the way too!! 🧡

[the-blind-assassin-12]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by the lovely @maggiemayhemnj - thank you!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten. I was cross-posting everything for a minute there, but I lost steam and now I only post here - except for Aphelion, which I am co-writing with @something-tofightfor. That still gets posted in both places.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

68,449 - not counting Aphelion. My tumblr word count is... a lot higher.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Right now just Pedro Pascal characters.

4. top five fics by kudos?

Gonna go by notes on tumblr instead because that's where most of my stuff is:

Bes'laar Din Djarin x F!Reader (based on artwork by @stealyourblorbos!)

Survivor Blues Joel Miller x F!Reader

Forever Din Djarin x F!Reader

The Cold Offends Me Oberyn Martell x F!Reader (The Viper & The Wild Thing universe)

Point of No Return Ezra x OFC Clara

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all comments because I appreciate them SO MUCH MORE than I can accurately convey. I love hearing from people about what they liked or what shocked them or what made them feel things, and I really love the chance to sort of have a micro mini chat about it in the comments. That being said, sometimes I completely check out and miss a whole batch or a whole fic worth of comments goes unresponded to for far too long. And I always feel bad when that happens, which sometimes results in me responding to things WAY after the comments were left, to the point where it wouldn't surprise me if the person has already forgotten the fic/what they wrote... but I haven't forgotten how much it meant to me that they read and commented on my work. So even if it's 6 months to an eternity late, I intend to respond to them all.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It Pours From Your Eyes Joel x Tess

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I feel like most of them have happy endings, but we'll go with A Little Christmas Magic - Frankie x F!Reader as perhaps the fluffiest happy ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten non-fic specific hate directed at my writing before, but that was a few years ago and it hasn't happened since. Which is cool because the fewer people wasting their time and energy on being unnecessarily mean about things - let alone about stories about silly little fictional guys - the better.

9. do you write smut?

I do, but I do not consider it one of my strong suits, and I typically only include it if it fits with the overall story though a few times I have written smut just to be filthy as a challenge... and as a treat.

10. craziest crossover?

I've been slowly spinning a True Detective x Tim Rockford crossover like a rotisserie chicken for months but I've only managed to jot down a few unconnected snippets thus far. And a title. It's gonna be called (maybe, if I ever actually write it) Flat Circle, Twisted Game.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but if I did I would be absolutely PISSED. And I can't say I'd be nice about it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that would be cool AF.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I am currently co-writing Aphelion with @something-tofightfor and it is so much FUN.

14. all time favorite ship?

In all honesty it's probably Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. I was straight up ready to stop watching Parks and Rec if they didn't end up together.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

lol what kind of passive aggressive, self-doubt feeding question is this? I'd like to finish them all and I try like hell to believe that I will.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think it's probably describing natural settings? But maybe dialogue. Idk.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. Also keeping the momentum to finish things in a timely fashion, but mostly smut.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I try to only use it when it makes sense or when it benefits the story and not just as like... a novelty or an afterthought.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Teeeeeeeeeeechnically? Like first one I ever made content for? I guess that would be the Twilight series. But I will not be sharing where to find that here. And if you find out where it is, you take that knowledge to the grave with you, you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME, FRIENDS?

20. favorite fic you've written?

Even though it's nowhere near done, I love and am so very proud of Survivor Blues. But then again, even though it's a few years old now and I feel like my writing has grown since finishing it, Point of No Return will always have a very big piece of my heart.

Tagging: anyone who sees this and wants to play! Please tag me so I can see your answers!!

[ramennoodlezzzao3]

nobody asked me to answer, but I’m gonna anyways 😝

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

Idk how to do that lol

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I couldn’t find any fics that I wanted bc I’m too specific, so I started writing. It was purely for fun and I wasn’t fully thinking about the fact that people might actually read it AND enjoy it lol

  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

me and some of my moots from TikTok created this playlist lol (it’s, like, 14 hours long)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? Idk what that means but ima go off of what I’m thinking and that is just editing while proof reading and I enjoy it! 10/10

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🙏👉😁🔥💀 (no, it’s not abt the burning church 💀🙏)

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

I’m new here, I have no EXTREMELY close moots so idk. But @paul-ster seems pretty chill so probably them (

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I HAVE SO MANY I LOVE! But if I had to choose rn Soracha for the author and “Ron Weasley and His First Year at Hogwarts” by snoopy_owl. Two of my favs!

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now? 

none, believe it or not. I constantly check it for ao3 updates. But I also have three separate yt accounts so I get regular emails abt comments and updates and I normally check them everyday. The only exception is one email I use for spam sites like grammarly, that email has 408 unread emails.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@fictionalcharactergraveyard

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

ooo, neither tbh. Unless its a one-shot or a mini fic where I add a S/O or like my unpublished Uber fic where I had to add several OG characters, I don’t like adding new ones bc I think it disrupts the story a lot and I normally don’t read fics when people do that. And personally, unless it’s the ones that are supposed to be halrious and satire, I think self-inserts are kinda cringey bc most people who write them over-sexulize the characters and add weird stuff in that makes me cringe (key word: MOST not ALL) but also I just cant imagine myself dating someone let alone my comfort characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don’t think I have any

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I just can’t get into the writing mood. But when I start it’s really hard to stop

  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

PURLY! I love to think Curly calls pony “Mi Amor” or like calls him pet names in Spanish. I think it’s really cute

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

literally don’t be fake as hell. Don’t be all shy and sweet like, if you are comeback or Yapping king/queen then tell me bc we can yap together. Like, If I can call you Pookie within the first four interactions, we are besties, considered us married at that point

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I’m redecorating my room, I got a new puppy, and- wait, bitch, who gives a fuck, let’s be honest 💀🙏

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

can’t say bc it’s an unpublished chapter of a on going fic 😝

  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Harry Potter is kinda an ass

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t write anything too bizarre so I can’t think of anything

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

strive to accomplish what you set as a goal, not what society set as a standard or a must

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

My comfort character gets ignored hard core, makes new friends, get into shenanigans, and then a lot of angst ensues. Who would write it best? Mmm…Fictionalcharacter graveyard or Soracha

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

if you have a scene you want to write for a fic, start writing it but ONLY WRITE THE DIALOGUE. You can add who said it but I do it all the time and it gives me new ideas and gradually helps me continue a fic. It’s also easier to add detail in between when you are focused on that instead of getting to the next dialogue scene.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

Nick Sturniolos iconic “Then he will taste the rainbow while he goes out”

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

“I LOVE THIS, I CAN’T WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER!” Then they go on an entire yap session about how they think the fic will turn out or parts they’re excited for. It always makes me happy to see someone enjoy my hobby as much as I do even though we have different perspectives 🤭

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Alr, ik im gonna get backlash but i cant stand Cherry Valence. 1. I will give it to her, she’s a downright badass.

2. her hair is really pretty

3. She was nice to pony at the drive in, I’ll give her some points (still don’t like her too much tho)

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

Not much. Okay, this is gonna sound so fricking clique but that last lie I told was “Yeah, I’m fine, just tired” even though I know damn well I’m probably depressed asf

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I have only older siblings and every time one moves out, I stop talking to them so I don’t become the annoying youngest sister, so I’m afraid their gonna forget about me, and they probably will. I only have two siblings that still live with me so that’s only two more people left to forget me before I’m totally alone lol. (Depressed, see?)

  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

book writers that can describe really well.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I think I’m too impatient and give myself an unrealistic deadline for stuff

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I like them a lot!

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

I’ll add that later lol

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

it was a name my family wouldn’t be able to find. I’m embarrassed to write bc my family LOVES to pick out your insecurities and hobbies and never let you live them down.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

again, I’m new here, so nobody here is my “supporter” but @shae-pine has liked all of my posts so ig them? I got to say, that “The Youngest (The Favorite)” fic I really liked! Ur also just the sweetest person ever! 😭🫶🏻

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I have 7 (I had 8 but my cat passed away yesterday, RIP in the comments for Sophie 🩵)

I won’t post pics because that’s a large file 😭🙏

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I DONT HAVE THE LINK BUT I LOVE THIS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

self insert, too much OOC scenes, pairings I don’t like, oc’s/characters unless it’s the character I’m reading abt, pure smut or p*rn, over sexulization or romanticizing R*pe, over detailed non-con, specific characters are dead, and the fic doesn’t focus on a character that I wanna read about.

[milliesfishes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

(idk who to tag who originally came up with the questions but I found them through @the-likesofus and was curious ab my other writer moots answers so <3)

How many works do you have on ao3?

2 but I'm hoping to repost a bunch of my fics on here to there soon!

What's your total ao3 word count?

92,519

What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment I write for TBOSAS and Billy the Kid (2022)

Top five fics by kudos:

Only have 2 fics on AO3 currently but

1. I Once Believed Love Would Be Black and White, But It's Golden

and

2. Pray You Catch Me

Do you respond to comments?

Always!! I love, love receiving comments and I know how scary it can be sometimes to leave them, so I want to show my appreciation <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well...𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮 rn but I have one coming out tomorrow that's also Billy the Kid and the ending is pretty...it's pretty angsty

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I try really hard to keep my endings happy because the nature of both fandoms I write for is inherently tragic but personally the one that warms my heart the most is either 𝓤𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 cause it's the end of the series or 𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

Do you get hate on fics?

I've been very lucky to receive mostly positive feedback on my work- the closest I've gotten to hate was someone commenting on how I didn't include in the TWs that my Reader would be mentioned as thin and blue eyed (which I felt SO bad about and they were very kind about the whole situation- sometimes I don't catch that stuff in editing)

Do you write smut?

I do not purely because I'm a Christian girl (don't hate me) but that doesn't mean I judge others for doing so at all like y'all get freaky go nuts <3

Craziest crossover:

I've never done a crossover fic but that could change

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no, thankfully

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't technically. The closest I've come is when Franci and me have done mermaid au stuff but that was completely her idea and her credit, she just let me write for it <3

All time favourite ship?

It's hard to say (anyone I write for x me lmao)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

tbh once I deem something a wip there's no stopping me until I finish it. Having drafts lowkey stresses me out (in a good way) I've finished almost everything I've started, the only exceptions being things that were either a) had no plot point at all besides the ship or b) my hyperfixation fizzled and I lost passion

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm good at angst honestly, and the other thing I feel like I consistently do well is in the plot points of my stories. Honestly my self awareness isn't that great though so I could possibly be talking out of my ass

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I've done it briefly before because Billy canonically speaks Spanish but I am not a fluent speaker in any language except English so I'd be a little cautious doing it lol

First fandom you wrote in?

The very first fandom I ever wrote in was Riverdale

Favourite fic you've written?

I'm still so proud of Pray You Catch me, but another one I love is Inamorata just cause it was so fun to write. But honestly I adore all my fics and though I'll always be self-critical they mean a lot to me because my followers have liked them so much <3

Tagging!

@francixoxoxo @runningfrom2am @a-romantics-guide-to-life @fictional-at-heart

also if you're a writer and you see this you're tagged <3

[fitzselfships]

I'm so sorry to vent again but. Man. I have been Super not okay all day

I've been paranoid all day that people are making fun of me behind my back for being super into my main self ship or that people secretly hate me. I've been so scared because of this that I've been sick for the entire day pretty much. There is literally no evidence to prove any kf this is true but again my paranoia has been so bad I can't make myself believe that it's not true

Not only have I been paranoid I've been feeling extremely depressed and numb and empty and I can't make it stop. I'm to the point now that I'm questioning if Zooble would even love me. My mental illness stuff is getting so bad anymore (and I cannot get help for it) that I don't know how even a fictional character could love me

I'm already scared of being abandoned by them. I worry sometimes that if they were real they'd want someone who's skinny and pretty and feminine and that they'd leave me for someone else as soon as they get the chance. I feel so stupid for feeling this way because like. They're a fictional character and cannot leave me but again my mental health has been absolutely terrible recently so combating these thoughts are Very hard for me most of the time

I'm really sorry for this. I try my best not to be too open about my mental illness stuff but just. So much has happened today to validate my fears of being abandoned for someone else and in general making things worse and getting this all out is the only thing making me feel even slightly better. Not even watching my fave streamer was helping me feel any better so that should probably give an idea of how bad everything is right now lol

Anyway again I'm so sorry for talking about this but like. I'm so tired of feeling this way and neither me or my former therapist can make this psychiatrist see me so idk what to do. It sucks :[

[edwinspaynes]

Hey! I noticed recently that you answered an ask about Matthew in your fics, and you said that he has a way of “worming into” fics that are not about him. I absolutely loved how you phrased that because Matthew does have an endearing way of worming into people’s stuff and while that maybe sounds like an adorable and fun trait, I also think of that as Matthew seeing who needs what and trying to give them what they need.

So. I really love the idea of an AU in which Tatiana didn’t make the bracelet happen and James told Matthew about having feelings for Cordelia right after he returned from cirenworth and the scalding fever.

(And in this AU, James recognises matthews drinking way before TLH. In chain of thorns, we see James, who’s just taken off the bracelet, think while travelling to Cornwall that there was something very terribly wrong with Matthew. He feels this so soon after taking the bracelet off which makes me think Matthew’s drinking would’ve been addressed earlier if it hadn’t been for the bracelet. And in chot cordelia tells Matthew that the bracelet altered the course of not only James’s life, but also hers and matthew’s. And I believe that. I think without the bracelet James would’ve seen matthews drinking earlier and helped him.)

ANYWAY. All this is to say that in this AU, Matthew ‘s drinking stopped a while ago, James tells Matthew about his feelings for Cordelia, and Matthew never fell in love with cordelia. (Matthew’s drinking was part of his feelings for Cordelia imo)

And here I can see him at the start of tlh (or anytime in between cirenworth and tlh when the gang met) being a jordelia shipper. I can see him “worm” his way into their friendship, scheming to get them together, sending them together on missions, making them plan stuff together or even a direct “Cordelia dear, what do you think of my friend James here? Bc he won’t stop talking about you” bc he knows they’d be good together. In fact, he immediately sees that they’re perfect together.

He’d immediately take a liking to Cordelia bc well. How could he not? lol. She’s awesome. She’s lovely. The three of them are tight.

I might want to make a fun post about this but I would love to hear what you think about Matthew shipping James and Cordelia. I believe he’d love to see them together bc he loves James so much and I know you’re not very big on jordelia lol but I’m curious to know what you think.

Thanks!

I think this sounds interesting, and you should definitely write it if you want to! I think Matthew is an extremely supportive friend - just self-destructive. Without that trait, I think it's hard to assess the character because to me it's such an important part of who he is/was at this stage in his life. (This is why I'm generally not someone to discuss AUs with - I'm not an AU gal.) But I think in the future, and I'm assuming in your AU, Matthew will be happy for them and take joy in their happiness. :)

[thebreakfastgenie]

I, S, T :3

I forgot to answer this! Thank you so much for sending it!

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Sometimes I read fics I don't like. Like, fics about kinks I'm not into, topics that usually squick me to some extent, fics that are badly written. I read a Bellatrix/Hermione slave fic when I was teenager and I remember that better than a lot of fics I actually like. I've also read most of the mpreg fics in the MASH tag on AO3. In writing... honestly writing post-series MASH fics at all is kind of a guilty pleasure for me because I kind of think the story ends where it does for a reason and we're all committing AfterMASH crimes but like I'm not going to stop doing it. Really, really self-indulgent stuff is a guilty pleasure, because at a certain level of self-indulgence I'm sacrificing faithfulness to the characters and source. I feel a little weird about how much I like terminal illness, both reading and writing. And sometimes I'll indulge in angst that goes so far it's just kind of silly.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Major character death! Especially if it's my favorite character. Kill him!!! I want him dead!!!!!! I'm killing Hawkeye in two WIPs and I killed him in a published fic. I have a detailed outline for killing Josh Lyman. Sick fics that focus more on the illness and less on someone being taken care of (ew). I love GFA centric MASH fics. I'm sure there are more but that's what I've got.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

BJ goes to Maine. No one should go to Maine except me. I can't stand this trope because I think it's wildly OOC in every application but I harbor a stupid but real resentment that the fandom associates Maine with this ship and not with Maine being the greatest state in the union. Also MASH writers didn't have google but fic writers do and this fandom is mostly so bad at writing Maine. Daniel being the team dad who immediately adopts BJ/Trapper/everyone. There's no reason for it and it's just saccharine in a way I do not care for. Homophobic Trapper/mean bastard Trapper which often go hand in hand and both directly contradict canon. This is kind of complicated and ties in with what I said about post-series MASH fics above but I don't like fics where the MASH characters are still the most important people in each other's lives years after the war ended. That's neither believable nor wish-fulfilling to me. So basically found family for fics set after the war. I like found family in fics set during the war. Any woman being a cheerleader for an m/m ship. Goes for any fandom. In The West Wing when people have Josh and Donna get together before season 4. Also a Josh/Donna relationship being scandalous lol it would not be. I could list a lot but I'm not sure exactly what qualifies as a trope.

[glassvines]

Thoughts on eps 1-4 of Murder Drones:

Pilot 1. Is the planet the bots are on supposed to be an alternate Earth? Or a different planet all together? (Answer: It's not Earth. Uzi mentions wanting to go to earth so she can "kill all humans". The planet they are on is Copper 9.) 2. "Untrained neural network" aka baby robots lmao. 3. While the meta dialogue was incredibly BAD in the first episode, the facial gags with words flashing across their faces is so funny. I am having to pause every two seconds to read everything. 4. Which is by design? Pausing to read the gags. This is a show that really wants it's audience to study it like the nerds we are. 5. I love that all the character relationships are purposely cliche, and played 100% straight. 6. Are we really supposed to believe Uzi's dad mercy-killed her mother? 7. I do love how they establish that the Disassembly Drones can regenerate. (N being blasted into oblivion.) 8. "OH MY, you sure are rebellious! It's kind of exciting! *fans self*" N LMAO WHAT. 9. N and Uzi are A+ mains and I love them. 10. Yeah, I missed so much lore discussion on the first watch. Particularly the bit about the ships only being capable of going one way. 11. Why is N hoisting Uzi onto his shoulders the cutest thing ever. He carry. He protec. 12. "I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me!" Hooow did I miss that.

Episode 2 / Heartbeat 1. God I love the haunted mansion flashback. It's so jarring. 2. Tessa... 3. The Disassembly Drones sleep upside down wrapped in their wings. 4. The show hinting at V knowing more than she's letting on combined with the flashbacks were when I started to realize how much of a gem this show was. 5. Episode starts establishing Lizzy and Doll a little more. (Did V disguise herself AS Lizzy? lol.) 6. Ah okay, they do explain what Uzi's powers are: AbsoluteSolver auto-repair initiative. 7. And Uzi DOES mention it's just like the Disassembly Drones' regenerative powers. 8. The weird human hand thing was great. 9. "Oh, J's not here." Huh. 10. "It hurts our feelings you don't remember us." It said via Uzi's Mum's face. Hmmmm. 11. I seriously went from "this could work as a series - good setup" to "I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM UR ALL VERY PRECIOUS".

Episode 3 / The Promening 1. Okay, this was when I realized how purposely satirical the series is. PROM LOL. 2. Year 3,071! 3. I really want to understand the bug crushing motif. 4. "Thank you FOR BEING MY friend" STOP!!! 5. The skeleton prom outfit bit is so gd funny. 6. "What's best for you. Even if you hate me for it." V plz. 7. UZI UWUs 8. This whole episode is just good character development stuff. More focus on V, Doll and Lizzy. Uzi and N making up and doing a battle couple bit for a few seconds. A bit more background information on Uzi’s Mom too.

Episode 4 / Cabin Fever 1. The...school bus is being driven like a horse and buggy. I'm. 2. Uzi's bat-winged backpack :). 3. Lizzy and V just being friends now is delightful. 4. Neat to see a different type of environment being focused on in this episode. 5. "EVACUATE ALL DOGS" "Cool. We did that. That's canon." "Also, all dogs are immortal now!" LMAO I REALLY NEEDED TO PAUSE FOR THAT JOKE. 6. I don't really understand what's triggering Uzi's transformation though? Stress? Jealousy? 7. "Welcome back 02" Hmmmm. 8. V keeps comedically killing all these students and they are still 100% in love with her and N now ahaha. 9. N's development is so good man. I like that he’s standing up to V now. 10. The funniest part of this episode was that Liam thought it was necessary to grind twitter animation stans into dust and have N conspicuously proclaim that he and Uzi are the same age. I don’t have to be part of the fandom to know what that means. Genuinely cathartic seeing a show tell shipper drama weirdos to shut the fuck up. 11. OH! There's that mansion from episode 2. So this hints at what happened to everyone's memories and why they were wiped. 12. The information on zombie drones is on a VHS with 80s horror movie font. 13. Marshmallow batteries 14. "Okay, Mom." L M A O 15. "New body, same horrors. Huh Cyn?" ??? 16. "Can I talk to N?" Oof that hurt me actually :(. 17. HAND HOLDING *pointing Rick Dalton meme*

Even on a re-watch I feel like there's a lot going on under the surface of the series that I've missed. Very much looking forward to seeing where this show goes. 

[deedo2313]

Fuck it Friday

So, I've been tagged by the lovely and incredibly talented @thekristen999

From what I've figured how it works, is that you post a part of a wip you are working on and then tag someone else to do the same.

Well why not... I did use to actually write fics (a very long time ago, when I didn’t fully appreciate how much free time I had at my disposal) but haven’t done so in quite a while. Looking through my stuff I do have quite a few wips that never got posted anywhere (and probably never will) like that 7k smutty Spuffy Christmas fic that I've been meaning to finish every year around November/early December... for the past 18 years 😅

I've decided to go with something more recent from a couple of years back, before Infinity War & Endgame and the Russo brothers completely ruined the MCU for me by destroying every single (found) family and making it impossible for me to enjoy any of the other movies without that painful tinge of heartbreak & sorrow and just this profound fury at what is to come (but that is a rant for another time).

Anyway, the fic is called Stuck in the Middle with You and it’s a very self indulgent epic saga following BAMF Darcy Lewis and her two lovers and covert triple agents Jack Rollins and Brock Rumlow from the end of Thor through most the other MCU movies. I did actually spent a couple of months plotting it all out and have written several parts of it in no particular order, but then just never found the time to write down most of it properly, and isn’t it just fascinating how eloquently you can spin a narrative when you're laying half awake in bed for a relaxed lazy morning but when you try to write it down later all you can produce is "there were people and things happened" lol

Also, I've decided I'm too old to feel guilty about my ships and I'm not open to judgement about my choices. If you don't like them, I don’t care.

So to finally cut all that rambling short...

Darcy had timed her arrival just right to be conveniently in front of Secretary Pierce’s office as Captain America strides off in the direction of the elevator. She manages to catch his attention just as he is about to board the lift.

“Captain Rogers,” she calls, hurrying after him, “if you have just a moment, sir, there is an urgent report I need you to read and sign off on.”

She can see the indecision in the confused tilt of his eyebrows as he turns to regard her, but luckily his manners win out once again and he stops just inside the elevator doors.

Darcy angles the tablet she holds out in his direction away from the security cameras. She doesn’t think what she is about to show him would be ligible on the feed, but better safe than sorry.

“It will only take a moment” she tells him and waits as he peruses the message.

DON'T REACT OPENLY. SURVEILLANCE!

HYDRA HAS INFILTRATED SHIELD!

PEARCE THE HEAD.

TAKE USB. READ ON PC WITHOUT INTERNET CONNECTION ONLY!

SGT. BARNES IS ALIVE & IN HYDRA CAPTIVITY.

PEARCE PLANS TO HAVE HIS MEN ARREST YOU ON THE WAY DOWN.

RUMLOW & ROLLINS GOT YOUR BACK.

MAKE FIGHT BELIEVABLE

Shocked blue eyes fly up to meet hers and she tries to convey as much sincerity and confidence as the situation allows while she covertly nudges the usb stick she had concealed behind the tablet into his hand.

He seems to get his facial expression under control in the next moment and goes through the motions of signing off on a report.

“Thank you Agent - “ he nods at her and she is about let him step back into the elevator when three agents she thinks she recognises from STRIKE Team Beta suddenly crowd close and herd her into the elevator with them calling for the Lobby and the doors close before she has a chance to step back out.

Well shit!

A couple of floors down the doors open again and another handful of operatives she doesn’t recognise and Brock get on.

“Excuse me,” She tries to shuffle to the doors to make her escape, but she’s boxed in by an unmoving veritable wall of muscle.

They seem to be ignoring her on purpose and while the Captain starts to bristle at the obvious disrespect they are showing her she hopes it's because they are just regular assholes who are trying to get under her skin and not because someone got suspicious of her actions in the past couple of weeks and decided not to wait for Project Insight’s launch to get rid of her.

Brock has his back to her and Captain Rogers, but as he assesses the situation out of the corner of his eye she can see the exact moment he notices her. His eyes widen just a fraction and his shoulders grow impossibly even more tense as he suppresses the urge to reach out for her, knowing Sitwell is keeping a close eye on the proceedings through the security feeds.

At the next stop she gets squished even farther back when Jack boards the car with Michaels and Gregson in tow.

He notices her right away, though and his expression shutters from his professional scowl to just blank, his gaze flicking over to Brock and they seem to carry a whole conversation with pointed look and a quirk of eyebrows.

She has resigned herself to not getting off the elevator any time soon and contemplates how to get out of the center where the action will take place.

“Lewis!” Brock’s sharp call interrupts her thoughts, “Do you have the specs ready for me to brief the team on the next mission? The timetable has been moved up.”

“Yes Commander.” she easily plays along and this time the wall of muscle actually parts for her when she moves in his direction. She holds her tablet out for him and Jack steps closer on her other side under the pretense of reading over the mission specs as well.

When the elevator jolts to a sudden stop she is ready and confident in their ability to keep her safe.

Steve had pocketed the usb drive and tried to project a calm exterior while his thoughts were raging in a tumultuous tornado.

Shield infiltrated by Hydra? Bucky alive? How could this even be possible? With Hydra’s influence reaching as far as Pierce, whom could he even still trust? Had Fury known? Was that why he had been killed?

On the other hand what reason would the pretty brunette have for making something so outrageous up? And it would be an explanation for all the things that didn’t add up lately.

As the the elevator filled with only the biggest and burliest agents her warning of this being a set up to quietly bring him into custody at the very least seemed to be true.

She obviously hadn't planned to be trapped right alongside him, though.

He kept a wary eye on his surroundings as the agents got in position around him and felt a lance of concern as her continued attempts to leave the elevator remained unsuccessful.

He was just about to intervene on her behalf when Rumlow called her over.

As he observed the STRIKE Commander and his second, who had stepped closer onto Lewis’ other side, he noticed their rigid postures and the tense glances they shared as they bracketed Lewis between them.

She did say they were on his side and their obvious concern for the low ranked agent that basically screamed helpless civilian seemed to corroborate her story.

They seemed to come to some kind of decision and just as the first fist flew towards his face he saw Rollins herd Lewis into the farthest corner where he surreptitiously passed her one of his shock batons and effectively shielded her from the rest of the elevator and the camera's eye with his considerable bulk.

Soon enough only Rumlow and Rollins were the last ones left standing and Lewis wedged in her corner from where she'd covertly taken out one or two men with the taser and made sure a couple of the others stayed down.

He abandoned his attempt to say something when all three of them threw a quick glance at the cracked but apparently still working security camera above their heads and Rumlow tapped his com unit once to let him know everything would be monitored.

They rolled their shoulders and he had only a short moment of reprieve where Rumlow mouthed “Make it look believable.” at him with his back to the camera before they were both on him.

“Sorry, Cap, it’s nothing personal.”

_____________________________________

Since I just got back here after my several years long hiatus, I have no idea whom to tag or who all is even still around, so if you wanna do it, feel yourself tagged <3

[alwayshappyhoursomewhere]

💞 and/or 🎈!

(from the fic writer ask post)

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language? Characters and their relationships. The best aspect of fanfiction for me is being able to take characters I find intriguing or that I can relate to in some way,  put them in a situation that makes them confront their relationship with (an)other character(s), and see how they (re)act. I’m really not a plot-driven writer, in the sense that I don’t have the patience to make things happen unless they directly contribute to developing the relationship I'm interested in. I don’t like writing fic where things happen to people, I usually write fic where feelings happen to people xD (Hence why I suck at writing long stories that require good plot development in order to be good, although that’s also because I have the attention span of a fly and one shots are my friends). 🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? I don’t think I can define my own writing style, because I’ve written (fiction) very sparsely in the last 10 years compared to what I used to do before. It makes more sense to say what I admire in (fan)fiction and what I ideally strive for: sparse but meaningful prose with intentionally chosen words, good pacing, sustained tension, good character building within a believable narrative frame. A focus on portraying emotions but in a way that feels restrained; emotions are conveyed mainly through characters’ actions and non-verbal cues rather than dialogue and/or exposition. 🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic? Everything lol. From overlooking typos to under/over tagging to will-people-think-this-is-stupid to that-other-writer-is-better-so-why-should-I-bother-to-post-this. 🌻 what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going? give up: losing interest, life being busy, and obviously limited reader engagement. We all say ‘I write for myself first’ but the reality is that we also want people to read our stories and let us know if they enjoyed them, which most readers don’t do even in the easiest of way (kudos!). I guess reader-only folks just don’t get it, how validation-starved most writers are and how motivating it is for writers when readers actually give a sign they’re enjoying a story. keep going: loving certain characters/ships/dynamics too fucking much and being unable to get over the brainrot in any other way; supportive readers/friends; being in small fandoms (they are a curse too, but small fandoms motivate me more because I know that if I don’t write the thing, there’s very little chance someone else will do it, and I do want to read the thing). 🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life? (thanks for being so considerate, anon!) This is limited to my current fandom, but what I’m writing now reflects (in some ways) my experience as an aspec person who has been in a relationship for a long time (and doesn’t regret said relationship in the least) but that is only now starting to fully realize how being aspec has influenced that relationship and their approach to it (in good and bad ways). Re-engaging with fandom spaces has led to a lot of self-reflection, and now the discourse around aspec identities is much more nuanced than it was when I stopped actively being part of fandom a few years ago, which has led to a variety of 'ooohhh I get it now' moments xD

[tomwaterbabies]

i dont mind at all! this was interesting to read and gives a better look into how people with the different take have read the story

I do think ergo is meant to be like a soul or conscience or whatever you'd like to call it (I do personally just like saying soul). I think part of why I took it as still being the same soul is the addition of other puppets awakening and such. There's implication that these puppets are retaining stuff from the past (like the maid puppet who stopped the baby from falling even though it wasn't in her programming? i don't fully recall the excerpt in the game other than it was implied she was gaining consciousness similar to what the ergo used to be)

There is definitely no denying Geppetto is an unreliable source of info, so I do agree there. I think it's also likely, and quite interesting, to consider that him saying those things about your personality is more in line with refusing to admit he is at fault. I think, for me, it's why when it's paired with other clues within the game, it leads to a different conclusion for me. But of course, nothing is set in stone lol

That's why I focus on Romeo. Like, shipping aside, he does clearly care for Carlo/P. And the massive affect he has on P's identity thus far is notable to me. Changing and becoming more like yourself is triggered a pretty substantial amount once Carlo's memories of Romeo take hold. And because this same path of chasing that sense of self and humanity leads to the rise of p ending (so long as you continue with gaining all that humanity), I'm inclined to believe that P's humanity is tied with not only his agency (his ability to make choices for himself- such as lying) but also his memories that brought forth that change to humanity

This is, to me, a way to see how trauma can deeply affect someone. You could read this other ways, such as queerness, but I think trauma is the main thing they were going for (though trauma and queerness can go hand in hand, obviously). This person (Carlo, P, w/e) has gone through such a harrowing experience in life, continues to go through harrowing experiences, so it makes sense that he comes out the other end so different. Carlo using a different name and looking differently but still owning his humanity is an interesting direction and one I think has the potential to be read in a lot of different ways such as the aforementioned queerness. But, despite being gay as fuck, I do actually think focusing on just his trauma in general is what really stands out to me. The idea that he can still own his humanity/identity regardless of what changes have happened to him (good or bad). There's something really nice about that, even if it's often difficult to accept the changes that happen to you

It's why I like how Romeo recognizing P affects him so much- solidifying a clear path to humanity, and it's why I like how Geppetto gets disgusted about being reminded of his own son (even if his perception on him is skewed) which, if you try and appease him, ends up being uhhhh really bad

If the story continues and does make it more clear and confirms they are different people, then obviously I'd have to go back and re-think some of the choices they made for the current story. I admit, it would then feel a little weaker for me compared to the other pinocchio and his dead brother carlo story (del toro's pinocchio), but there are good aspects about it even if I prefer the way another adaption did it

interesting to see that P and Carlo being different people is such a popular reading. I genuinely did not take the game's narrative as implying that at all. this isn't to discount that reading, i do understand it and i think it does offer some interesting aspects. but im more just typing out my own thoughts on the game's story; a story which i do think is very good

(spoilers ahead for the game lol)

one of the biggest things for me that lead to P and Carlo being the same is Geppetto and Romeo, the only two people who really know what your whole deal is

I spent a lot of the game very much expecting it to be a sort of... astro boy situation? as in: dad loses human son, dad builds another son, but said son is not what he wanted. In that story, it IS because the new son does not end up being like the former son

Most of the game from what I remember does lead to this narrative. However, I feel a key element here that makes it stand out is the fact that Geppetto did NOT like who Carlo was becoming. They were distant, they did not get along, etc. Geppetto sneers when you refuse to give him your heart- commenting that you're inheriting Carlo's personality instead of just holding his memories. HE is thinking of you two as different people and becomes upset when he sees stuff he didn't like about Carlo, which ultimately became part of why he is, to put it bluntly, fucked up and evil. he's wrought with guilt but has a very twisted idea of what his perfect son should be like- and it is someone NOT like Carlo, no matter how many times he insists Carlo is coming back to him- his true desire is clearly to have someone who Carlo was never like

This is paired well with Romeo's whole deal. I think it's very interesting that you really start to awaken and become more human once you start remembering stuff from the past- triggered by Romeo's presence in Carlo's life. You CAN read this as just carrying Carlo's memories, yes. But I think, for me, that because it literally affects P in such a way, that it reads more as someone remembering something of their own past. Along with the fact that, once again, Geppetto is the one who insists you are merely just carrying Carlo's memories. Why does it deeply change P then?

I've mentioned somewhere before, but a big concept that I took from the story was "you are not the same person you were years ago". not in a literal sense, but in the way we often describe how we grow as people. The game, to me, portrays this concept in a very Dramatic way. Carlo has changed quite a lot, but it is still his life he experienced. He has a different name, he developed a personality that his father ended up detesting, etc. But that is still the same... we'll say soul I guess. Same life. And it adds to why Romeo is such an interesting (and tragic) character. He DID accept how his friend changed and still wants to remain by his side. I think that genuinely makes his fight sadder for me- the idea that this really IS Carlo, that IS his friend and not someone else he's mistaken Carlo for, but Carlo/P does not remember him anymore before it is far too late.

[pawmesan]

With the next episode about to have some good old angst and us having a better idea of what the title refers to, I wanna take a moment to focus on Satoshi. It's really interesting to me that the next episode title ,"Pokémon! I'm glad I met you!", is voiced by him, especially now that we know the focus of the episode and that he's definitely gonna continue being in the series (and if you wanna believe certain leaks, so will Gou). In other words, while the title certainly also refers to him, Koharu and Gou reminiscing about their adventures with Pokémon, the main focus is definitely about Gou wanting to go on a journey, but he assumes Satoshi will tell him to go ahead because that's just the way his supportive friend is. Because he thinks he's not as important to Satoshi as Satoshi is to him, probably.

And this title, being spoken by Satoshi, is meant to tell us already that that's not true. And it's been shown throughout the series already, even if Satoshi seems to be less open about how much he likes Gou specifically. That's what I want to talk about in this post as a refresher of sorts for next Friday, so sorry for the long introduction lol.

First things first, their meeting on Lugia of course. They had a lot of staring at each other in that episode, but for Satoshi especially I think that moment on the flower field, when Gou talks about wanting to see the world and all sorts of Pokémon, is important. You'll notice in that moment he sits up and his desire to show that world to Gou has sparked. He realised that this boy shared this big desire with him. And while at that moment they're nowhere near close friends, their mutual interest in each other is definitely there. And interest is something Satoshi keeps for Gou, like in the following episode, after they had their little fight, when Satoshi closes in curiously because Gou knows much better how to use technology than him, even if it's just knowing how to ask your phone stuff to actually get a useful answer about a construction site.

Then in further episodes, we again and again have Satoshi eager to show cool things to Gou. Be it experiencing battles in the Flute Cup episode, how to catch Pokémon in that first catching ep or meeting his family and Alolan Pokémon later on. Satoshi had been a mentor showing newbies how to do stuff before, namely when May and Dawn started out back then. But unlike with them, their relationship starts on mutual grounds. Satoshi doesn't see himself as above him, he's more like just a kid wanting to show someone all kinds of cool things they know to get closer to them. If you remember your own friend-making process back in elementary, you'd tend to try to impress each other and show each other really mundane stuff (ex. Satoshi showing Gou how he eats his food on the train in the Scorbunny catch ep because he thinks it's tastier that way). You're equally eager to try out the things the other shows you (ex. in the same scene Gou shows him that ripping the bread with your hands first is easier and Satoshi tries it out right away). I think that's something that makes them especially cute together in the beginning, because the anime did a great job at portraying two young boys getting to know each other and becoming close friends. That's probably my favourite part of the ship too, because it just feels so real, like you're watching their relationship develop in real time.

In the first Alola episode I think we see for the first time how Gou misinterprets how Satoshi feels towards him. And I can't even blame him with his low self esteem and all, but still. He tells Kaki that Satoshi has no interest in supporting him, that dreams are something you reach on your own. Satoshi doesn't correct him, but we see his expression and we saw even to that point that that's not true. He DID support Gou as much as he could and Gou supported him in return even. And they're not stopping anytime soon.

Later in the Mewtwo episode, when Gou talks about how the future lies in his hands, Satoshi joins in and says "OUR hands, right?". That's huge, because he openly says he wants to share a future with Gou. I don't think he's ever even been that invested in another person. And that's not just super gay gay homo gay, but also already gives an answer for the upcoming episode. Beneath his supportiveness of letting his friend go when he wants to go, because Satoshi is just like that, his true wish is to be with Gou. During the Darkest Day arc, when they're separate and he's in that hotel room and says "I wish Gou was here right now", you see it again. He might not voice it to Gou himself - and that's kinda his mistake - but he absolutely loves being with him and wants to stay together with him.

Much much later, right before his battle with Dande, when Gou has to leave on short notice and won't see the battle, you see the disappointment all over Satoshi's face. But again, he is a supportive person, especially for someone he really cares about. Even though it hurts him, he doesn't want to stand in the way of Gou's dream and lets him go without complaints. Same with previous Project Mew missions btw, where Satoshi sees it as obvious to tag alongside Gou, no matter if he actually helps or not. You see his disappointment again, the one time where Asahi doesn't let him join during the battle royale (good idea lol Satoshi would obliterate everyone there) and especially the one time Gou says he wants to go on the Regi mission alone.

Letting someone go despite wanting to be with them 24/7 is probably the greatest sign of love. Satoshi loves Gou so much, he puts his desires over his own. What he doesn't realise is that due to his lack of resistance (much unlike Gou's reaction when Satoshi stood him up to hang out with Dande lol), Gou misinterprets it as Satoshi not valuing him as much.

In other words, tomorrow's episode had a lot of buildup. It was bound to happen sooner or later if the writers were to stick with the narrative they built. And they did, so I need this moment to point out how much I love that. I think anipoke is oftentimes... far away from the pinnacle of writing lol because it's bound so much to marketing and quantity that the storytelling really suffers from it. But now with Satogou's relationship, they absolutely took advantage of those boundaries and I'm all here for that.

Long story short: We know Gou really, reeeaally likes Satoshi, that's clear as day. It got proven in last Friday's episode AGAIN when he thinks about smiling for Satoshi and then confronts Mew, thanking it for letting him meet him among things and directly referencing all the way back to his gay awakening™ in the Ivysaur episode.

Because Gou's case is so glaringly obvious, Satoshi's feelings for him are kinda overshadowed, both for Gou and the audience. And if that was on purpose it worked really well, because I've seen a lot of people think Satoshi will definitely let Gou go like he did with previous companions. But we know he had a hard time parting ways with previous companions too, so I think this episode will absolutely subvert our expectations when Satoshi, for the first time, will be open about how he feels and ask his buddy to stay with him. And Gou will be just as dumbfounded by that reaction as the audience.

Thanks for reading my Satogou essay once again gjcjxvxv 💕

[nakedbibi333]

Hello. My person is also a celebrity and there’s something that kind of bothers me. First I just want to say that I feel so connected to my person. I believe in stuff like soulmates and I really deeply know that he is the one for me. But at the start of this journey around 2 years ago I was in a horrid mindset. Like doubts, negativity, etc.. and I formed this belief that this person who he is shipped with is better for him. it comes in a “what if” anxiety kind of thought. It’s something I have struggled with for a while, I have gotten much better in my mindset thought and I’m here doing the best that I can everyday to change my inner world, including this belief and many other limitations. He is an idol. And in the idol world you hear and see a lot of things about dating scandals, random marriages lol and in the beginning of knowing him I had intense anxiety about that happening. I even stopped myself half way through at the start because I was so scared of that happening. I mean who wants to see someone that they are in love with with someone else, the thought makes me nauseous tbh. I get intrusive thoughts every now and then about my fears being true. I have been repeating affirmations and doing my self concept which has helped me so much in a few days. Have you ever faced such beliefs/thought with knowing your person? I truly am in love with him and he makes me feel beautiful in a way that I can’t describe. I have this thing I call inner guidance, and actually this may sound funny but it is what started all of this by telling me that me and __ are meant to be lol. And it’s a really positive internal talk that reassures me. This whole thing of what if someone is better for him, those kinds of thoughts has been tripping me slightly though. I feel that I have come so far with him and their have been many signs/synchronizations with him, and idk he has really changed who I am within in so many ways. Like imagining me and him together really puts my whole world of dreams together. I just wanted to chat with someone about it. I apologize that there may be no direct question just talking. I think I just want to know have you struggled in this way as well? Or any advice to get through those kind of thoughts? Or maybe just want to vent about how you feel with your person too because I could go on about my feelings for mine 25/7 lol!:)

Hi!! First I want to say, the wonderful thing about your message is that your 3D world is your previous beliefs being physically reflected. Basically, by believing that they are your soulmate, you are manifesting that as the truth in your reality, which is the reason why you frequently get signs and confirmations about this. (This is wonderful because it means you're successfully manifesting these beliefs into your reality!)

Now, when it comes to manifesting celebrities, you need to be able to ignore the 3D and only focus on your desired reality. It doesn't matter what the media says, what other fans say, or what you see from public info. You need to focus on the idea that they love you, that they're meant to be with you, and that they only want to be with you. But, it's okay and normal to react and to be jealous, but continuing to shift your focus and thoughts back to your desired reality will keep you on track no matter what.

So, remove the belief that you will see a dating scandal/marriage/etc! If they are dating you, why would they go out and date someone else? Keep this belief in the forefront of your thoughts whenever you start to feel that way.

And yes I am still human, so of course, I have gotten nervous thoughts about my sp. The most important thing is to keep your thoughts away from scenarios that you don't want to happen. Affirm or visualize the best-case scenario if you have to in order to keep your dominant thoughts on them being with you and only you.

Please work on your beliefs surrounding your confidence and you being 100% deserving of the relationship. No one is better for him than you. You are meant to be, he only loves you and he only wants to be with you. Focus on these facts when you start to worry about undesirable scenarios.

It's a wonderful thing to manifest an sp, whether or not they're famous. Keep persisting and know that I'm rooting for you ♡