#believe it or not i didn't actually intend for them to be romantically involved when i first wrote their backstory

[journey-to-the-attic]

friends are currently debating whether 'lost in the citadel' or 'montero (call me by your name)' is the better solphisto song and here are the main points for each side of the argument:

"lost in the citadel works for both perspectives and their tragic yuri romance" (lines 'i need time to get up and get off the floor / i need time to realise that i can't be yours' given as main example) - jo

vs

"montero cos those two definitely want to f-" - james (perhaps better known as captain bhole)

[crackedhrglass]

i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.

do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.

their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).

but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.

in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.

the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.

there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.

he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).

normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.

having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.

having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.

again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?

no.

i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).

that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either

bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or

ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)

i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.

billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.

and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).

to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao

to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.

but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.

[saintsenara]

In the last post you implied that jily fell for each other the moment they met, why do you think this? I never really got that vibe (it seems like they both like each from atleast as early as their 5th year) but I could be missing something here.

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

for the simple reason that both lily and james choosing to be so bothered by each other the second they properly meet is a very good sign that each considered the other to mean something significant to them from the off.

after all, if lily considered james to be completely uninteresting and unworthy of her time... then she wouldn't have involved herself in the dick-measuring contest he, snape, and sirius get into on the hogwarts express. and james wouldn't have felt compelled to be rude about her - in a way, let's be clear, which he intends her to hear and to know is directed at her - while she's storming out of the compartment with her nose in the air if he didn't think she was worthy of his attention either.

this doesn't mean that what each of them felt for each other was immediately romantic [after all, they're eleven...], but that sort of prickly, "no, obviously i don't care about james potter! i hate james potter! he annoys me just by breathing!" dislike of someone can [in many cases] be a precursor to love...

[because - of course - the opposite of love isn't hatred... it's indifference.]

and it also doesn't negate the fact that both snape and sirius are directly involved in starting - and maintaining, and escalating - the beef. snape's immediate dislike of james and sirius [and their immediate dislike of him] has that same sense of only being so bothered by someone because they matter to you. the text points this out explicitly - that snape is immediately jealous of james having the "indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that snape so conspicuously lacked".

and that james is immediately jealous of snape having lily.

one of snape's great tragedies is that he doesn't quite possess the ability to understand the subtext of lily's relationship with james prior to the breakdown of their friendship - and that this is why james and lily bantering [pretty flirtatiously, to be frank] while james is bullying him blindsides him, making him so angry that he lashes out in the only way he believes could soothe his pain and calls her a mudblood.

it's clear from the princes tale, for instance - especially the bit where they're arguing about mulciber versus the marauders - that snape is trying to needle lily into stating conclusively that james doesn't matter to her [and that he's immensely reassured when she seems to do so], but that he doesn't realise that lily calling james an "arrogant toerag" doesn't actually indicate the indifference he's looking for...

that conversation seems to take place in their fifth year - and snape being worried that james' interest in lily is sexual might very well have only started then - but it has as an undercurrent the heavy implication that snape and lily have had similar discussions before. it seems pretty unlikely, for example, that lily would ask snape "why are you so obsessed with them?" if he'd only just started bringing james and his cronies up with her - and it seems equally unlikely that snape would have felt the need to complain to lily about the marauders prior to this conversation if he hadn't been worried for a significant amount of time that lily was not quite as unconcerned by james as she claimed...

[this - for what it's worth - is why i think the anti-jily "james forced her into being with him!" argument doesn't hold up. james' technique is pretty heavy-handed - absolutely - but he behaves the way he does because he's noticed that lily not only reacts to it, but that she reacts to it in ways which aren't boredom, sadness, or fear. and she does this - of course - because james sincerely interests her.]

and - while this comes with the risk of undermining what i said yesterday - it's striking that this is exactly what happens with ron and hermione. while their friendship establishes itself very differently to james and lily's - and while the course it takes towards romance is also very different - that same "no of course i don't care!" interest in each other is present from the get-go.

i don't think this is because jily and romione are intended by the doylist text to be parallels so much as i think that it's a way of conducting interpersonal relationships that jkr is clearly fond of in her own life [which is due both to her own personal idiosyncrasies and the cultural context in which she lives - insulting people you care about is the british love-language, describing a man as an "arrogant toerag" is practically writing him romantic poetry].

but i do think the fact that it turns up in how both couples are written - particularly since the doylist text thinks that james and lily were a perfect couple, even if its readers disagree - is intended to show that, in both cases, the fact that it was irritation-at-first-sight meant it later turning into true love was inevitable...

[athenaluciscaelum]

Romantically involved with Dante throughout various installments in the franchise.

Let's start this account with my first writing, what it will be like to get romantically involved with each Dante in the Devil May Cry franchise.

Disclaimer:

This is my first attempt at writing anything to be open for public scrutiny, so be kind, I do not intend to take any scrutiny for task I'm doing out of my passion, and I am not getting paid for anyway. A constructive criticism in right tone can be welcome. But anything unkind or disrespectful or homophobic or any hate shall be deleted. I do not entertain such things and I do not mind simply deleting them. This being said I will try my best to put trigger warning rightfully in every post but if sometimes, I miss something. You can let me know and educate me on topic respectfully and I will add it promptly.

Note:

I know there is a big debate on whether Dante is virgin or not. I do not believe he is. I just think he is very responsible and that's why didn't have 'an accident' like Vergil. This being said I think he will be more sexually active in some installment of the franchise than the other.

Also, Dante in any age or game will be reluctant and will stop himself from getting romantically involved with anyone. Dabte is smart, humane, and empathetic though he shows otherwise, he knows that one has to always pay the price if they love a Sparda/s. He knows his father was the strongest yet he cannot save one he loved the most. This made one thing certain for Dante, no amount of power guarantees that those who you love will be safe if you are the strongest. Just one slip up is enough to loose all you hold dear. Be it strongest creature to walk the universe or weakest. That being said, Dante will always try to distance himself from one he falls for because he knows this will only make them target or might end tragically. His love will be keeping them safe by distancing themselves. But if one with strong will comes by, I think he will always have this fear but will cave in eventually. This man has lots of hurt, trear my baby nice and he will melt. He got good heart.

Let's rock!

Devil May Cry 3 Manga Dante:

Dante in manga is somewhere around 18-19, though Capcom never age us an age to work with. In manga, he is in his teen. He comes out to be rather rash, out spoken and more rougher around the edges when going against something unknown like his encounter with Alice. We see Dante being a known one in the strip club when he visits Love Planet to get Enzo. And stripper's comment on how he is well ahem endowed.

But I think his inexperience might work in favour to get him off-guard. He might act cocky and like those teenage boys who acts like girls are so common and easily swayed by them. But when he feels the love, oh my, he will be nervous mess. He will not know how to react and will spew something stupid trying to act cool.

DMC 3 Dante:

It's just one year afterwards, in the beginning, he will be very similar to DMC manga Dante. But by the end of the game, he will have lots of scar and will be at his lowest. The pain of losing Vergil and new found respect for his father and the Sparda name. Dante will be more driven with his mission to avenge his mother and some redemption for losing Vergil, if any is possible.

If there is one thing about Dante. He blames himself for everything a lot! He blames himself for all bad around him. So to romantically persuade Dante after the events of Devil May Cry 3 will be nearly impossible. As he doesn't think himself capable when he couldn't protect his brother. But maybe, it is also time when he might need you the most. He will try his best to drive you away, so be ready for lots of heartache and being a literal light in darkness for this man. He will be grateful once he gets out of it.

DMC 1 novel:

As he know it is not actually canon, only some part of it. But still entertains it. Dante actually asks certain Claire out on Dante and looks forward to it. He is certainly open to romantic prospect and it might be easier to approach him. He will may sure, he doesn't get his coat charred or boots dirty to turn out on the date peoper. He will certainly look forward to it.

Dante in novel might act as jerk but we see how much he cares taking care of Gru's two surviving daughter up until adulthood through bank accounts he opened to financially aid them regularly, reference to which we also get in DMC V via Morrison.

DMC1:

In the beginning, he will be chill and in his zone like always, keeping himself to his office and only ever coming out to go on a mission. He won't mind if you ask him on a date or try to get his attention.

When he comes back from the Mallet Island. He will be very similar to the end of Devil May Cry 3, as this time, he will not only lose Vergil, but forced to kill him unintentionally, not knowing he is still alive. He will certainly think anything that he touches turns into complete shit and will try his best to keep you as far as possible. Someone so precious and perfect (to him) should be kept away, so his ill fate might not ruin you as well. He feels like a failure and he will not let you turn into one more failure in list of things he cannot protect. You have to be protected. By being kept as far as away from him. Now it will be only you relentless endeavour to move him that will break his shell, but it will break off eventually.

DMC 1 anime:

Our Dante will be edge lord, we don't know him as, always in his shop, blaming himself for everything wrong in his life and everyone dead or compromised in his life. Every lil mistake is his fault, he doesn't voice it. But it shows after how he feels after Ernest calls him names as he leaves, or Dante blaming himself for what happened with Enzo's hand, though he had no option but to cut it off or Enzo would have died, during special radio episode (only aired in Japan).

I believe along with alcohol, in this timeline, Dante might or might not indulge sexually like ONS or even picking a stripper, just to dull pain, to feel something, when he deserves no love and care. But his lowest and vulnerability might make him drive everyone, but also leave him weak enough to at last open up, if you decide to help him through this hellish time.

DMC 2 Dante:

Well, Dante in his edge-lord emo phase continues. So there is no new development I think there is, then what it was like in DMC 1 ending and anime. He is still very much in pain, but his time in hell, might just give him time to reflect on how harsh he was on himself.

There won't be a chance for interactions anyway. But after he comes back, it will be an open opportunity after Dante saw hell for himself at last.

DMC Deadly Fortuna (Part I and II) and DMC 4 Dante:

Dante is very happy as soon as he know of a surviving kin, the very existence of Nero give him shred of hope and happiness in his life. He went to Fortuna asap to confirm it himself. Before knowing existsnce of Nero, Dante was somewhat healing, a very lil hint is in novel that Dante was thinking of having some sort of family for himself, but Nero existence made him happy and content enough. He has come to an acceptance with his demon and human self, not shunning one totally. He is more open to prospect of any happiness in his life. He is mature and wiser with his cocky self intenr that makes him Dante.

So if you try to hang around him he would be the friendliest, cheesiest and most ridiculously idiot he can be. This Dante will be best one you can ask for in terms of having the best laugh of your life and most adsurd date ideas.

(I see DMC4 Dante as such girl dad coded)

DMC 5 Dante:

As much as I will like to have different category for DMC 5 prequel novel (Before nightmare), I don't think it will be necessary. Romantically speaking, we see Dante turning down Matier offer to give Lucia one good memory, although he do not want to get her involved, or simply he doesn't feel the same for him. I think it is more of later. But however you will like to see him.

But DMC 5 Dante is more aware of himself, he still has that self sabotaging tendencies with how he lives in literal poverty as said in novel, but he gets better as soon as he finds Vergil. Though intial idea of killing him never sits right with him, bit letting Nero feel same pain. It makes him move to be his shield, Dante is always one to protect those he loves, even if it on cost of himself.

If you are romantically involved with DMC V Dante, be assured he will be on Vergil's head all the time, to just rush back to human world and knock some sense in him in doing so.

I know I have missed a lot, but I'm eager to write something for first time, so this Frankenstein note it is. Be kind.

[blogger360ncislarules]

After years of buildup, Nancy Drew's big romantic moment between Nancy (Kennedy McMann) and Ace (Alex Saxon) in the series finale was well-earned. And as satisfying as it was to see these two star-crossed lovers finally break the death curse and — after learning the damage to their souls meant they'll never reincarnate again — choose to spend their last life together, it turns out the actors actually shot more in that scene than what fans saw on TV.

Amanda Row, who directed the series finale, and Larry Teng, who directed 16 episodes including the pilot, tell EW that a lot of that crucial scene was left on the cutting room floor. "The Ace and Nancy scene, which I made as long as I possibly could because I loved it, we couldn't fit it all into the episode," Row says. "Otherwise it would be an hour-and-a-half long."

As for what didn't make the final cut? "Lots of joy," Row says. "Ace dips Nancy in a little dance thing — not a full dance but it's very cute and cheeky and it was very much just about the two of them finally being able to enjoy each other without the stakes and the stress of the world ending around them. I just wanted to keep it simple and just be about the giddiness of being in love and having your love requited. In my cut, I definitely was like, 'Well, I'm just going to do the longest version possible because I love it.'"

Below, Row and Teng break down that series finale ending, where Nancy and the rest of the Drew Crew say goodbye to Horseshoe Bay to go onto various new adventures.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Was this always the plan for how Nancy Drew was going to end?

LARRY TENG: We didn't get the official word until we were filming episode 10 or right before that. There were a lot of ideas that were in place already but we had to figure out how to fit them into the existing season 4 storyline in the remaining episodes we had left. It was a bit of a jigsaw puzzle and the writers did a tremendous job making it all work.

AMANDA ROW: When we were shooting the finale I had a lot of chats with the cast, especially with Kennedy, about this. As much as we were shoehorned into wrapping all of this up in a couple episodes, in the end, I believe that the conclusion was actually what [it] was intended to be. Nancy Drew is a detective, she's always looking for answers and the next mystery, and ultimately she's trying to find herself. As cliche as it is, it's about the journey and not the conclusion, and we end the series being at peace with that idea, that we're never going to be done. That's what our amazing writers have been doing since the beginning. 

Before you had to pivot to make it a series finale, was the original plan for season 4 to end on a cliffhanger instead of this resolution?

ROW: I wish the writers and the actors could speak to this point because I don't know for sure. I'm sure they had a million ideas but what they ended up with was ultimately pretty awesome for the circumstances they were dealt. 

TENG: We definitely felt like there were more episodes that we could have done that we wanted to do.

ROW: Like the musical episode! [Laughs] Which [showrunner] Melinda [Hsu Taylor] never wanted to do, but I really wanted it to happen.

TENG: There were a lot more stories we wanted to tell that unfortunately we won't get to but we're really happy with how this all turned out.

What was it like directing the big moment where Nancy and Ace realize they broke the death curse and finally get to kiss?

ROW: When it happened, every single person on set was very aware of how special a moment it was. It was very bittersweet and magical. Everyone was crying. It was really wonderful. It was a cathartic experience for everyone involved. It was such a big special moment for the crew and Kennedy and Alex, and the whole story and how their story has built since season 1. It was very satisfying and all about joy.

What was the last scene you shot before the series wrapped?

ROW: We scheduled it so that the very last scene we shot is actually the last shot in the series finale, when you see them all say goodbye and the camera goes under the table and you see all their initials. I called cut on that scene and that was a series wrap on Nancy Drew. We wanted to make sure the whole cast was there, so Riley and Scott were in the scene prior so they could be there as well. It wasn't until the moment I called cut that everyone realized it's over. But it was very special. It was hard for me. I was like, "Can we do another take?" I didn't want to call cut because it felt like a massive responsibility to call cut on this amazing series for everybody involved. Larry is the one who set the precedent from the beginning and it was such an honor for me to be able to take that home. 

Who was the first person to shed some tears?

ROW: [Laughs] Kennedy. 100 percent.

What was it like choosing what went into the time capsule on the bar? 

ROW: That was a really fun experience. There were so many details in that [you don't see]. My favorite thing is Nancy puts her name tag in between two polaroids, one of which has me wearing lobster claws, and the other is Larry and our associate producer Dee LeBlanc who have been there since the beginning. That was a nice shout-out to our whole crew who are on the ground making it.

Did you take anything from the set?

ROW: [Laughs] Yeah. I have the top half of the wraith from season 2, I have a soul splitter —

TENG: You have a soul splitter? That's sweet.

ROW: Yeah! I also have this background prop that they never highlighted that Tom made that's a book from the historical society that's a human hand encased in amber. It's so awesome. 

TENG: I have one thing: I have Nancy's flashlight. That was the one thing I wanted. That was an iconic, special piece for me. I remember the first time when we did the camera test with Kennedy holding that flashlight and we all started crying, like, "It's real!" So that's the one thing I took.

[scoobydoodean]

I think part of the reason Cas hates Crowley and dislikes Benny (at first) so much is that both of them don’t self-sacrificingly resist from ever asking Dean for anything and do pursue a relationship with him (argue over whether it’s romantic, or whatever). I think Cas is sort of unable to handle the transition between the way things work in heaven (heavily regimented, everyone knows who they are to each other) and on Earth (lots of feeling out boundaries). I think the disconnect people are expressing is they don’t understand that Cas’ discomfort isn’t Dean’s fault, even if it is relatable/makes sense from the perspective of a very isolated character who has already lost all sense of belonging and fears jeopardizing that further by asking for literally anything from the few friends he has left. Cas didn’t hide how he felt for Dean’s benefit (though he may have told himself that), he did it for himself. And that’s totally understandable, but like you said, you can’t have a real relationship if you never communicate what you want out of it. And that is again, not Dean’s fault.

That's interesting about Crowley and Benny. This is definitely all a perspective I can respect.

I think from my perspective, what Cas struggled with with Benny early on (and Purgatory is a good example of most of Dean and Cas's problems actually), is that Benny immediately wanted an answer as to why Cas abandoned Dean in Purgatory. Dean actually would have been willing to brush it under the rug (this is the guy who rewrote his own memories of what transpired at the portal to make it so Cas didn't intentionally let go of his hand). Benny was willing to poke into the issue, and he did, in fact, find some hot air in that balloon. Cas and Benny both agreed that Cas was a liability, but Cas did believe in his own integrity (at least when it came to his choices on "The Best Ways To Protect Dean Winchester"—which in this case, involved bailing). The thing is... "protecting Dean" isn't the entire explanation for Cas's actions (see 8.07), and that's why Cas didn't like Benny poking at him. He'd suffered enough hits to his self-image and didn't want to deflate any further (and I'm not entirely sure Cas knows yet why he might deflate further if pressed—but Benny—the person with the objective outsider's view—is shrewd enough). Even if "Protecting Dean" was the sole reason for Cas's actions, it's bullshit anyway, because Cas proves while doing it that he doesn't actually see Dean's opinions and feelings about the best ways to protect Dean as relevant to protecting Dean, and... they are. Not just because Cas isn't always right and needs someone to challenge his perception (maybe abandoning Dean to a pack of gorilla-wolves isn't the best way to protect him... shocking idea I know), but also because Cas isn't capable of understanding Dean better than Dean understands himself, and actually has no idea how badly he can actively harm Dean (the exact opposite of what he is trying to do) through actions that are intended to protect Dean.

Does Cas realize that he treats Dean's feelings as irrelevant when he is off doing Hot Girl Summer things, and that he frequently wounds Dean while trying to protect him? Of course not—which is how he isn't actually Chuck or John 2.0. He's got a lot of issues going on in his life, like being raised in the equivalent of a weird religious cult where free will was frowned upon, losing a lot of his strength over the course of the series which he stocks the majority of his self-esteem into, lots of siblings with very different expectations, speciesism, homophobia (speciesphobia?), repeated lobotomies, and like you said... cultural differences (we actually don't talk about this enough lmao).

As a clarification, what I'm arguing isn't exactly that Cas didn't communicate what he wanted out of the relationship and therefore his stans can't blame Dean for Cas's issues (though I would agree with that argument). I'm actually arguing that Cas pre-decided, without an actual conversation or input from Dean or clarification of what he might think if all the cards were on the table, that a relationship with Dean was impossible. What he wanted was something he could never have. So he specifically did not communicate his feelings. Instead, he slotted himself into Dean's life in a very specific way—and it wasn't in a romantic way (move over, "Dean needs to pull his head out of his ass" truthers—your ideas aren't just patronizing—they're wrong—hope this helps <3). Cas intentionally slotted himself into Dean's life such that he was Dean's guardian, ready to be martyred in his name to achieve sainthood. The object of his affections was Dean Winchester though, not Moloch, so that blood offering wasn't smelling super tasty to his god of choice... and Cas never did quite get that part—that every single one of his blood offerings smelled less like tasty morsels of bacon and pie and more like repeatedly stacking proof that Dean Winchester is poison and anyone who falls in love with him slated for a violent horrible death... his touch is worse than Midas's.

[downthepub]

Things I noticed and found interesting in Anthony Padilla's interview with Rhett and Link:

apparently there actually WAS more behind the scenes angst or at least communication that needed to happen about Rhett's musical career starting without really discussing it first with Link

rhett seeming to be more open about it being a mistake to not talk with Link about it sooner and Link was more open about how yes it absolutely hurt him and felt like a threat to their partnership

the absolute buddy cop trope level of "partnership is sacred" clearly held by all men involved in the interview, the vibe of it being the highest form of human connection

Link repeatedly saying they don't have to feel the same way as long as they value what each other cares about ? I didn't understand what this was referencing, it seemed very important, so he needed to say it more than once, but what do they feel so differently about ? was it just about the music or something else?

link referring to the "incredible pain" that can be averted by communicating openly and frequently. (incredible pain?! it sounds horrible, i'm glad they're doing better?)

Rhett saying that what they're doing on the Rhett and Link channel is giving Link more of a chance to shine - because it mixes scripted and improv - that's very perceptive and interesting to me

the way everyone continually just acts like it was super important Smosh get their happy ending like rhett and link have. it had romantic overtones although i don't think they were intended - the happy ever after thing, idk. no judgment, it just felt sometimes more like talk about marriage than business.

rhett comparing what he and link do to being a kind of spirituality, that it's spiritual to create together.

link saying he and rhett never got to the point of separation but he "did send that email," something like he didn't know if he could continue if it kept going like this? (is this a story i'm supposed to be familiar with? it sounded really raw and painful. it also sounded like it was still fresh to link, although maybe this happened a long time ago.)

link saying rhett shone better in the beginning because he was confident etc., and link said he was more quiet and shy and for a second it seemed like he was trying to say he came across as too soft or feminine, though he quickly changed it to being about how NOW he's confident.

one of the things link talked about needing to be discussed was when one of them had accidentally backed the other into a corner comedically and they had to discuss or deal with that later - maybe find a way to avoid doing it in the future

Link talking about how this business will tear you apart. Oof. I believe it.

the thing at the end where Rhett critiqued Link wearing the same general outfit as he did - but Link firing back this it was "kind of his thing" and not denying he wore the same basic outfit after seeing what Rhett wore (so he definitely did it on purpose)

after Anthony had talked at length about not comparing yourself because of comments etc. lolol

[silver-wield]

hey I don't know if i posted this here or to my friend but uh, i want to talk about what "interrupted by fireworks" mean.

So this ost shows up in three sections of OG. Gsd where it fits with tifa, uematsu confirmed this. In mideel and the Rancid cait sith premonition to aerith.

At first you'd wonder if it's an ost for a "romantic" atmosphere. But is it really? That's what some think. But look, rebirth has deleted that ost why?

Because i think the song isn't meant to be "romantic" at all. It's a sign of distress and worry. Could be in Tifa's pov or Cloud's pov, or maybe both?

In her gsd, tifa has trouble telling what she meant. Cloud has a need to know what she wanted to say. Didn't get there with their conversation.

In mideel, tifa sees cloud dying. Cloud is unable to be with Tifa especially now. Is this the end of them?

In the cait sith bullshit, tifa.. is not gonna be with cloud?(I know she wasn't there but we know the song is representative of tifa and we know she's in love with cloud, is this an indirect rejection? Of course we know it's bullocks but at this moment, we look at it). And to cloud, has the same thing with tifa. If he not meant for tifa? I recall he doesn't say anything here but Nor is he happy because he's not. This Isn't what he wants. Never what he wants.

Rather than romantic, it's like a segway, an insight to distress. Even the title is distressing haha.

But now it's gone? Why? Because unlike OG, there have been little to Zero times where tifa sees a distress within their relationship. Gsd, they confirm eachother. Maybe in part 3 she'll get in a distance from him because that's not the soldier cloud we know. I just hope whatever it is that they don't feed crackshippers anymore bullshit to feed their Delusions. I know tifa worries in an ultimania about his bond to aerith. Needless detail and out of context (because she's just being paranoid, questioning everything, until she sees he's just there to ask for forgiveness and is dying. Things she didn't know prior but I wish she could have trusted him better. Again Useless detail, Never in the film Nor novels). But we sure as heck the ones who heard him call her Nakama and Mother 😂. Tifa dear Wake up.

Anyway. That's all. Still can't believe some think the caith sith thing in OG is "romantic" like seriously? After knowing she dies and it's a lie? They think it's not that and it's just "tragic what could been"? They clearly don't understand how premonitions work right? If it didn't happen, then it will never happen. Exactly as tifa's premonition was awful but look at them they're together smiling. Then AC ruins that and made Delusional people think cait sith is "correct" (nvm how Shit he is at this like yo gurl DIED). because they didn't make it clear that he's been Super Happy after the events of FF7. But seriously, these people have difficulty letting go of their preconceived Delusional HC. Goddamn shippers🤦.

Uhhh actually Nobuo explained a lot of times they reused or even used tracks in og for segments of the game the track wasn't intended for. Like he was surprised aerith's theme played at the forgotten city because he only wrote it for the flashback at the train station to show the similarity between her and Elmyra both waiting for a loved one.

Also there was a lotta hands in the pot for og, most notably toriyama, who liked to fuck things up behind Nojima's back. His involvement was heavy handed af for disc one until aerith died, when he took a back seat. He was and still is salty af his fave isn't the love interest.

The temple bullshit was his idea, which is why it doesn't exist in rebirth. The canon relationship is the work of nomura and nojima and the people who weren't out to ruin their own work.

[sapphic-space-syren]

This is purely for my own satisfaction and I don't expect anyone to read it but

Below the cut is a letter I wrote in 2018 after 12 weeks of PTSD therapy. The trauma was caused by a romantic and sexual relationship I was in from ages 15-17 with someone a decade older. When I grew up, I was debilitated by shame and guilt, but my lovely therapist helped me realise that it wasn't my fault. This letter to my ex was incredibly cathartic and even though I wrote it 5 years ago, I think it still captures my feelings.

I never sent it.

Hello.

I know this is out of the blue and I'm sorry to dig up old ghosts. It's been over 2 years since I last heard from you and though I always intended on replying to your emails, I could never figure out how to articulate what I wanted to say and, when I thought I finally had it, my feelings would change drastically by the time I wrote it down. But if it's not too late, I think I've finally settled, and hopefully it will partially explain the delay.

When we were together, I thought I was experiencing the most extraoridnary love of my life. As a young teenager, it was all so much more exciting. It made the obvious problems easy to overlook and the breakup nearly impossible to bear.

But then the love faded and I was left with nothing but questioning guilt. It ate away at me for nearly two years, somehow growing more intense with the passing of time. I couldn't see your name without panicking and the idea of romantic or sexual interaction with anyone filled me with intense fear. I was too afraid to speak of this to a therapist; I couldn't bear the thought of them going to the police when I revealed the age difference, but finally it was just too much and I didn't care anymore whether authorites got involved.

When I told my therapist about the "past relationship" that was still bothering me, she immediately put me down for PTSD treatment. It seemed like a joke to me at first; I didn't feel badly enough to be traumatised. Nothing terrible had happened, I just had a few unresolved thoughts and feelings to deal with (and a rocky baseline mental state).

Those thoughts and feelings took more than four months to decipher. A whole semester where my grades plummeted and I had panic attacks (for the first time since I'd been hospitalised) because having to acknowledge and think about these uncomfortable truths I'd been carrying for years was just too much. I tried to drop out of uni and fly away from everything and never return. I realised that things which I had thought were maybe a bit questionable were actually much worse, and the things which had seemed fine at the time were deeply concerning. I'm afraid there are very few parts of the relationship I can look back on without feeling uncomfortable.

All those times I was consumed by love, I was overrun by the desperate need to prove myself good enough against a standard I couldn't hope to meet. I would have done absolutely anything if I thought it would make me more appealing to you, would disguise the fact that something was very wrong in our dynamic. The fear was paralysing, and each day only provided more evidence that I still wasn't enough, couldn't do what was expected of me in this partnership. I was failing. I didn't know what I was getting into, what it meant to be one half of an adult relationship. I didn't have the pre-requisite experience. As a high schooler, romantic entanglements meant affection and exploration; suddenly I found myself in a world of real-life stakes and I had neither the tools to manage them or the self-awareness to see them in the first place.

All this was subconscious, of course. At the time, I believed that it was normal, that all this frantic anxiety was just another symptom of unparalleled love. I tried to eliminate anxieties by getting rid of the apparent causes; I asked you not to tell me about your projects because they were more reminders that we were at different stages in life. Logically, it was ridiculous to expect that I, as a 16-year-old, could be working at the same professional level as someone with a decade on me. But acknowledging this would mean acknowledging how severe the gap between us was in maturity and experience and power. This acknowledgement of my inferiority scared me more than anything, so I tried to sweep the evidence under the rug. I made you my most important priority, above schoolwork and my friends, because I knew deep down that we were not equals and so in order to keep you I must work very, very hard to prove I deserved you despite my shortcomings. And keeping you was the most important thing because it was proof that I was exceptional somehow.

The result was I became completely isolated. I had no close friends, a difficult relationship with my parents, and lost my academic standing. My support system was gone, which almost certainly exacerbated the symptoms of emerging bipolar disorder. Thus, I became entirely dependant on you. I know this was very difficult for you, especially as my mental state grew more unstable, and I am truly sorry for the experience but I hope the reason is at least somewhat understandable. As time went on I became more and more alone and the necessity of keeping you, my sole support person, grew more urgent. I think I began to sense you drifting away toward the end and panicked because for nearly the last 2 years I had devoted my life entirely to you and without you I quite literally had nothing to show for myself, just a few distant former friends and a report card of failing grades; no chance of graduating high school. I think we can agree this is not how relationships of equals are supposed to work. As I've had more relationships with people my own age, the difference has only become more apparent.

I admit I can't really understand how this happened. I certainly looked up to you as an idol and mentor and had a crush borne of admiration, but I cannot imagine how you reciprocated. I am only 20 now but the idea of being romantically or sexually invovled with a 16-year-old seems impossible and disturbing and I am still so much younger than you were then. I know that at the time I tried to overlook the prominent gap, which I think is somewhat understandable behaviour for a teenager who thinks she has been singled out as a special case, but I find it less excusable in an adult. It was your responsibility. As time has passed, I've come to understand why age of consent laws exist and, though I laughed at them at the time, insisted that I was exceptionally mature for my age, I find myself wishing that they'd been able to protect me.

I realise this may sound accusatory. I'm not here for that; just to offer my last word, so to speak, like you did.

Thank you for your well wishes for my health. I actually recoverd very quickly and managed to graduate high school early (if you can believe it) thanks to some creative beaurocracy with the school district. Other than the PTSD, I haven't had an episode since 2015. Turns out my bipolar is mild; I don't think I would have deteriorated like I did if it weren't for the unlucky combination of being prescribed the wrong meds for a year due to misdiagnosis alongside other stresses. I'm hoping I can continue to be happy and successful with only minimal treatment.

Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far. I don't really expect a reply, but you can, if you want. For whatever reason. I'm willing to have a conversation but I understand if it's time to move on from all of it. I'm actually not sure you still use this email address. Regardless, I am glad to have finally responded even if it is nearly 3 years overdue.

bel

[paigemathews]

Hello! Can I request romantic pairing Billie Jenkins and Hope from Little Box of Horrors?

Pairing: Billie Jenkins / Hope

Universe: anyone remember that shamelessly self-indulgent spin-off AU idea?

Facing five (basically) charges with expressions ranging from apologetic shame to amused remorselessness, Paige felt the urge to apologize to her sisters for her when she was a newly discovered witch, along with a migraine coming on. Balancing the baby in her arms, she sighed, "Why?"

All five exchanged looks, and both Hope and Billie went to speak. Migraine immediately worsening, Paige hastily cut them off, "Nope, I don't want to know actually. We will deal with the demon."

Billie immediately protested, "But we're the one that found it! You can't just sideline us-"

"Oh, don't worry," Paige interrupted. "I fully intend for you guys to be involved."

And without further conversation, she dumped the baby in Billie's arms, getting a bit of amusement at how quickly Billie's eyes widened with panic. "Take care of the baby for now, while we deal with the demon."

Without giving any of her (sort of) charges a chance to argue, Paige orbed out.

"Was she... serious?" Darcy asked slowly.

~

"I cannot believe that they ditched us!" Billie ranted, pacing back and forth the dorm room.

Hope considered pointing out that they were getting supplies for the baby or that Billie had very clearly tried to join them, but it seemed easier to let the other woman continue her rant. Bouncing the baby gently, Hope had to admit that it had been their fault, so it made sense that they dealt with the baby. Still, she just hoped her dad wouldn't ask about the credit card transactions later.

"I mean, who does that?" Billie gestured wildly. "Just run off and ditch their friends!"

Hope smothered a smile, temporarily hiding her face against the baby's head. As if Billie wasn't the first of any of them to ditch the rest to rush headfirst into any demonic or magical or dangerous situation. Maybe it'd be more irritating if Hope couldn't sense that Billie was hiding her panic at dealing with the baby through exaggerated outrage. Still, her arms were starting to get tired, and this had been all of Billie's ideas.

Standing, she shushed the baby quietly as Billie turned again, taking advantage of the witch's surprise to place the baby in her arms. Billie took her automatically, expression frozen in panic. Hope couldn't quite control the laugh at that.

"Have you ever held a baby before?"

Glancing down at the baby, Billie hissed through her teeth, "No! In case you missed it, I was an only child!"*

"Clearly," Hope said dryly. "Didn't you ever babysit or anything?"

Billie gave her a look, and Hope had to cave on that. Billie was a lot of things. "Babysitter material" was definitely not one of them. Sighing, she stepped into Billie's personal space, cooing fondly at the baby as she fussed.

"You can't be scared of her, Billie," Hope gently reproached. She reached out and adjusted the way that the witch was holding the baby, making sure that Billie supported her head and neck. The baby settled in the more comfortable hold, and Hope smiled. "See? You just need to relax. Try rocking her."

Billie stayed tense for a moment before letting out a deep breath and stiffly rocking her arms. After a minute, when she seemed to realize that she wasn't going to spontaneously drop the baby, Billie relaxed into it.

Hope hummed under her breath, a little lullaby that seemed to soothe the infant. Billie slowed to a stop, and Hope looked up into the other woman's face to see why.

Billie was watching her, pale skin flushed red. Hope suddenly realized that she still had her fingers curled around Billie's arm, squarely in Billie's personal space. Despite the realization, she didn't move or let go of her.

"You're good at this," Billie said with uncharacteristic quietness. Hope couldn't quite read the look in her eyes, but something about it made her hesitate to sense Billie's emotions.

"I babysat. A lot. In high school," Hope spoke as quietly as Billie did. Something about it felt like if she spoke too loudly, the spell would shatter.

Billie's eyes flickered down and back up again, seemingly without realizing. Hope's breath caught.

"Okay, so we got- hey!" Speed was cut off with a suspiciously screeching sound as Darcy grabbed the back of his hoodie and yanked him back.

Blushing hard, Hope stepped away from Billie and turned to her friends with a bright smile. Darcy was hissing something in Speed's ear while Max slowly eased around them into the room. Arms laden with bags, he offered them to Hope, eyes flickering between the two women.

"Everything okay?"

"Just peachy," Billie said shortly, turning away.

Hope couldn't help the surge of disappointment before pausing. Disappointed? Why? Because they'd been interrupted? From-

Oh no.

Hope had a crush on Billie.

* this can be taken in that either Billie doesn't remember Christy or hasn't told the others about her yet

[acourtofthought]

I made the mistake of arguing under a clearly El/riel comment and I had to argue with like 5 El/riels and still new ones are responding to me.

All of them have made the same point "Azriel has clearly feelings for her" and over and over again I had to take out my favorite quote "He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to" + explaining to them how after all those things he did for her (that they listed) he couldn't think about Elain as a person.. yet they kept on talking as if I made that quote up? As if I made that whole bonus chapter up.

They also listed things that they consider a "I see you" moment such as the "You're a seer" scene when that scene... clearly wasn't one. Had to explain to them that protective behaviour isn't something to romantize when he did that with Mor and constantly underestimates Elain. When they claim they see each other, even when Azriel himself claims otherwise, I'm losing brain cells. Like they made me feel like I wrote that chapter and i was beginning to actually believe that 💀

It's just so frustrating. Also kinda fascinating that all the El/riels scenes that they listed had hidden holes that were overlooked by so many readers. What also amazes me is that they truly believe that Sarah wouldn't switch El/riel because apperantly compared to the sunken ships, El/riel has been there the longest so she wouldn't switch it. Yeah, after acosf and the bonus chapter, I wouldn't be so certain about it. (Also... Chaoleana had been there since book 1 til book 3 and they had full chapters from their own povs)

It's really annoying to have to constantly repeat yourself and keep putting out the things that Azriel himself said. They never truly answered as to why he said it. All they said is that they don't believe he's only lusting over her because of all the things that he did before that chapter. But that's the main problem: After all he did for her, he couldn't think about her as a person when we got the chance to read his pov for the first time. If Sarah really intended to go that route, she wouldn't have written that chapter like that.

They overlook that chapter mainly because it's a chapter that not many have access to, yet some of them took out some parts from the El/riel chapter to prove El/riel and... you can't really do that if you believe that the chapter is irrelevant.

Well, I guess I have to be patient and wait like 25 years for Sarah to finally confirm the ship so I can rest in peace.

Ugh, I'm so sorry. I know how exhausting and frustrating experiences like that can be!

And sure, Az does have feelings for Elain. I don't think that's the part people are arguing. Because obsession and lust are still feelings.

Love is a healthy emotion that enables the two people involved in the relationship to grow in life and appreciate each other’s differences. On the contrary, obsession is an unhealthy sentiment where the obsessive partner does not allow the other person to grow. They always feel insecure about their partner and experience jealousy and paranoia.

Jealousy? ✅

Paranoia that she has no idea the things she's done and he's too much of a bad bad man for her pureness? Paranoia that he's unworthy because he didn't receive a bond like his brothers ✅

Not allowing Elain to grow when she specifically said she wanted to help with the Trove and said she shouldn't? ✅. His shadows preparing to strike Nesta because of a fight Nesta had with Elain? Az is overprotective of Elain in a way that's very unhealthy. She is not his to defend and he has no right to speak for her.

So yeah, Az has feelings for Elain but they're the wrong ones for the wrong reasons.

And does it seem like Elain would appreciate their differences? That Az enjoys cruelty while she does not?

Every sweet moment between them isn't that sweet at all when you consider the fact that it's usually someone else that suggested or instigated it first, that his knowing Elain was a Seer had nothing to do with romance considering Feyre guessed Nesta's power, that his saving Elain from Hybern was followed by him staring after Mor with hunger in ACOFAS.

They are so desperate to make their ship happen that they turn a blind eye from some very important information. And it's truly sad that they claim E/riel is in love when it's CANON that he's still in love with Mor.

That's truly the worst romance ever.

It doesn't matter how much logic or canon you throw their way, they will refuse to admit to you having a valid point. Maybe it secretly freaks them out but it's not something they'd ever admit to you.

Az and Mor were 100% building towards becoming a thing in ACOMAF. And that's when we found out Elucien was Mates.

I don't care how many cute moments E/riels think A and E share in the series and I don't care how little interactions Elucien have had because facts are, Elucien were made mates in book 2 and have remained mates, which has romantic implications and that came about much sooner than E/riel.

Azriel and Elain's interactions were absolutely not romantic in ACOMAF. Just because two characters talk doesn't equal romance. Feyre thinking Elain would find peace and quiet near Az DOES NOT EQUAL ROMANCE because peace and quiet in a fantasy book is BORING. Feyre and Lucien shared a sexually charged scene in ACOWAR yet that didn’t equal romance.

So they can keep convincing themselves all the important things we're pointing out to them don't matter because that ignorance will only increase their chances of looking foolish when all is said and done.

[illumoonated]

Thoughts about Wednesday (the show)

I wished i liked the Wednesday show more. Truly. But...

...the writing felt half-assed. The characters felt lazy. The addams family felt not quite weird enough. It seemed to be a very safe (somewhat boring) reboot that ppl are groveling over simply bc they want winclair to be canon (which, fine do your thing -- but you're setting yourselves up for heartbreak bc these writers/showrunners give zero effs about making wednesday canonically queer). The love triangle was actually painful to watch.

There was throw-away "representation" with her being asked if she was into someone a "guy...or you know, a girl?" to get woke points. Someone else pointed it out too, but the black male mayor being told he doesn't "know what it's like to be not heard" was so incredibly tone deaf it threw me off. As well as the only real POCs having a personality being the actual Addams crew.

(The siren queen bee was cool but she like immediately became Wednesday's bestie after 2 minutes of a heart to heart at a dance? Idk she felt wasted/characterized too quickly to feel impactful when she helped in the last episode. There was no emotional "oomph" to her being on Wednesday's team.) ((Also there was the aapi vampire who smiled once and had a single line of dialogue or smth...? wish we got more from her bc that's a cool-ass concept of being stuck in a place like nevermore where ppl know you're an immortal--like I was waiting for a big reveal to be pulled from this vamp being like "hey I knew your parents when they went here, oh, that fancy book you need? I have read all the nevermore books so many times I can just rewrite it for you by memory, where's your typewriter?")) Basically none of the students "banded together" for Wednesday in a believable way. They just...did....?

And if the intent was to simply get a flavor of the month moody white boi as Wednesday's love interest -- fine, but you didn't even make them likeable (not the actors' faults, bc they were clearly given no direction other than "go and be in love w wednesday for no reason bc she's MC"). And Wednesday as a character would avoid the moody bois and possessive "nice guys" like the plague (pun not intended) and would find interest in a strange/true social outcast more. (If she's gotta be with a boy make sure it's like whatshisface in Addams Family Values who is nerdy and nervous and a true social outcast that Wednesday had a real banter/challenge with instead of gross obsession/ownership like fuccboi #1 and #2. Again, not the actors' faults.)

I am so torn as an ace person bc I want her to be aroace so badly (and I believe it would be an appropriate identity for her). I also don't want to be the ace person being like "no winclair shouldn't be canon" bc I want sapphic stories to be represented but I hate how any close platonic relationships are automatically romanticized/ran away with despite how the characters feel about the other person. Again, if this is a friends(roomates) to lovers story fine. But there's zero chance that'll happen with the writing where it's currently at (I mean, they can change this but rn I don't see it happening).

TL;DR 1. wednesday shows how thirsty we all are for true queer rep/romantic or otherwise

2. the love triangle trope (esp the cishet ones) have to be damn good in this day and age to be worthwhile (the triangles in 1899 come to mind as good, current examples involving fleshed out characters with chemistry)

3. the show is trying to earn woke points without committing,

4. the addams family is mischaracterized from the source material,

5. this reboot entry is safe, lazy, and predictable from a plot, character, and worldbuilding standpoint (I was expecting far out weird/spooky shit like the Sabrina netflix series tbh and was really disappointed in how safe this reboot played it)

6. I wish I wanted winclair to be canon but i don't and I wish I did so ppl don't think i'm being "too ace" or "anti-" bc anytime platonic relationships occur between two pretty ppl the internet loses its mind and disregards what the characters actually feel about each other (reinforcing that friendship < romance)

[operaofsocks]

(rereading the last few chapters) damn this is pretty good actually

like... i'm impressed mostly with my ability to make it seem like i know what i'm doing. bc i very much do not. between memory issues, impulsivity, the length of time i've been working on this, and just the general way my creative process works, i am very firmly winging it chapter to chapter.

mind, i've had like... very broad story beats in mind that i was able to direct the narrative towards, but until i am right up on an event, i don't have a great sense of how it's going to go. i guess things are more fun for me that way? but sometimes it does leave me stuck for prolonged periods of time when i'm not sure where to go next.

here's a few scenes i've been thinking of for a while that i finally got to write these past few chapters (and no, i never wrote them down before i got to them):

dipper gets attacked by a lake monster and bill saves him (this has been clanging around in my head for a while. as i recall the very first iteration of the idea involved the family going out on a boat and dipper getting taken in front of them all, with bill being the only one actually able to do anything. for reasons now obvious, the idea of the family taking bill out on a calm fishing trip hasn't been plausible for a while. believe it or not this also originally had little to nothing to do with the rift aside from the amped up weirdness happening around town because of it)

bill and dipper finally get close romantically but are interrupted by mabel (another old one. years, now. originally they were going to be illuminated by the car's headlights while wrapped up in each other and close to kissing. this was also originally divorced from the previous scene, and not in direct response to it. i also think bill wasn't going to actually manage to land a kiss.)

separated from dipper, bill has to make the choice to return to the shack on his own, not under the influence of binding (thiiiiis one has changed a lot more than the others. arguably it's also one of the oldest ideas i've had for lrth; pretty sure i came up with it around the time bill emerged into the real world, and if it was before then, i likely didn't have the binding element there. the original idea was for mabel to drag dipper home after the almost-kiss and, in her fury, just abandon bill out there in the woods. then he'd make his way back to the shack of his own volition, with some introspection from his point of view about the situation. i also intended for him to find his cane, lost when dipper first bound him. i had pretty much abandoned this idea until i realized if i pit him directly against pyronica, that would be a great explanation for how the family was willing to let him go off on his own (they had no choice) and i could make it a lot more severe than it had originally been. i very nearly still did the cane thing, but upon rereading the chapter where dipper finds bill's statue, i realized i'd placed it way too close to the shack for bill to have ended up there while trying to get pyronica as far away as possible. i am currently undecided on if the cane makes a return; bill's brief look at it in his dreamscape was an allusion to him realizing he didn't actually have it anymore.)

bill and/or ford very clearly state they used to be together (i've had bill allude to it previously but it never seemed to fit in anywhere to just say it outright)

pyronica specifically becomes a major threat (don't remember why. i think i just like her, despite the absolute lack of unique character she actually has in weirdmageddon)

there's others... smaller things, mostly, little details i managed to hold onto over the years and eventually got to use. like bill and dipper going shopping with pacifica. (sorry that scene was mostly off-screen, i just really did not want to write a shopping montage, gomen nasai)

there are some other major scenes i've yet to get to but still have plans for. two, actually, that have been in the works for a long time; as i near them, they are beginning to take shape. so we'll see how it goes.

i don't know how many more chapters there will be. i don't think it's going to be over 30, but i genuinely can't say. i have started thinking about the first chapter of "good intentions", the sequel, which has a very rough plot idea but very little by way of actual planned content, as per usual.

...i also have been working on a post-apocalyptic AU of sorts for a while, in my head, though i haven't visited it terribly recently; i think my biggest hangup is that i don't know if i can make it billdip or if it'd work better as a genfic. multi-chapter genfic... imagine... idk if i could even keep up with that i'm ngl

anyway. i hope this post has been a fun read! and i also hope my shoddy planning hasn't ruined the magic for any of you lmao. sorry for winging everything. it will happen again

[autumn-foxfire]

Clash of Red and Black! This one could be looooong.

Heiji tried T-T Of course Shinichi caught him out by asking him what he would do which he answered truthfully, which is the opposite of what he wants Shinichi to do.

The opening ending image containing all he important characters to the BO plot and Ran is not there because Gosho never intends for her to be involved deeper in the plot T-T She's just the prize Shinichi gets at the end for succeeding.

Sonoko has no chill XD Telling someone their family ran away before you could kill them is not the joke you think it is XD

Gosho, you cannot make Ran giving blood to Shinichi romantic when comparing it to siblings doing the same to one another. If anything, it just tells us about their strong family bond.

Oh Ran gets to take out the criminal for a change.

And Shinichi is teaching us how to avoid being caught in scams!

Jodie is keeping an eye out for Shinichi T-T Someone needs too.

Awww and Shinichi is trying to keep Eisuke safe. Well, he's also just cautious about him being used by the BO as well.

I forgot that to infiltrate the org Akai let himself get hit by a car in order to meet Akemi XD Hardcore.

So Eisuke's father is called irresponsible for abandoning his son (he's dead). I wonder who else have abandoned their children and have even put them in harms way, cough, cough.

<.< Oh fuck off Shinichi, Eisuke is a much better fit to Ran than you will ever be. Not that either of you deserve her, with how you end up treating her like a prize.

Trust me, Eisuke, having two people look identical in this series is not as rare as you think it is.

Ran didn't scream and cling to the nearest body this time when a black out happened. How rare, Gosho never misses a chance to make Shinichi insufferable when that happens.

Kogoro would be a much better detective if he stopped assuming that every death he encounters is a suicide. And by that, I mean it's annoying it's the option he jumps to all the time, even though the victim has told him he feared his life being taken just previously.

Shinichi has connected the condensation dots.

I genuinely can't stand Kogoro at times. Thank you Shinichi, please knock his ass out.

...And of couse Shinichi assumes that they're bathing together and is jealous because Ran is his possession, don't forget that :p Nevermind that Ran has made it pretty apparent that she cares about him and only him! God I hate the canon romances so much. They're just so gross and disrespectful to the characters.

Ai calling Shinichi out for hiding things from her, as she should. It wouldn't hurt him to share his opinions with Ai, you know, the person who studied both chemistry and biology and could actually help him confirm his theory.

Time for the true plot of these episodes to start!

Akai, you too, will become best friends with this "boy".

LMAO Akai telling Shinichi to not even bother with Eisuke's survival, the man has no chill.

And Shinichi has connected the dots again!

I love the three adults and one child talking about a deadly org as it's so absurded. Shinichi you do not fit and yet you are essential to their success.

Shinichi is so bad at lying T-T My boy, your life depends on it, learn how to do it better. At least he's warning the FBI he believes she's not as unconscious as she is appearing.

Akai: You do know you're putting yourself in a lot of danger, right?

Shinichi: Then you better not fuck up, big boy!

I love extremely conspicious vans in a parking lot. Definitely not at all suspicious.

Shinichi recorded being a little shit for evidence. We love to see our gremlin at work.

...This is why you don't speak about your very dangerous hostage in an open hallway of the hospital.

Akai: And I thought you trusted us.

Shinichi: Hah, do you think I'm dumb?

They're bonding T-T

And Akai and Shinichi know that it's time for a showdown with the crows.

Awwww Akai is complimenting Shinichi's intelligence T-T They're becoming such good friends.

And Shinichi is learning the complicated family tree of the Miyano's and the Akai's XD I still can't believe that Gosho forgot he made the two girlfriend and boyfriend who developed real feelings for one another only to made them cousins. Well, dating cousins isn't really all that frowned upon in Japan by the looks of it, just a lot more uncommon that it used to be but we've had romantic cousins in the series before. It's still funny because I genuinely think he forgot about it, and when you consider how long this series has been going on (30 years) it wouldn't be surprising.

Shinichi are you taunting Akai with your identity? To bond.

I still love the little boy in the group of FBI agents. One does not seem like he belongs XD

Oooh, I love the flowers. A nice touch to a start of a battle!

And Akai has touched the phone! All part of his and Shinichi's plan.

Time for the mind games to begin!

Poor Jodie, left in the dark by the boys and knocked out by Camel.

And a man gives up his life to save his daughter, even if it means traumatizing said daughter by killing himself in front of her, with her hand on the trigger.

LOL poor Camel. Akai just admitting to him that he prepared for the scenario where he died.

And Gin, the smart man he is, is still very suspicious. It's a shame for him his opponents are just as smart.

Shinichi, just tell her the truth XD WHY DID AI ASKING IF AKAI WAS A LOLICON T-T

And Shinichi can't go anywhere without a murder happening...

Megure: Why are these people suspicious?

Takagi with no shame: Because a child told me they were!

Wait, Mitsuhiko isn't completely wrong here. What are the FBI but government sanctioned murderers? (Lol I remember an argument I got into with another person because I called a character this from another fandom).

And the cover Jodie goes for is Camel is her lover XD

I almost wish I was watching this blind, so all the twists would shock me like intended. It's a shame you can't erase your memory.

And Shinichi gave Jodie the phone with Akai's fingerprints to not only complete his and Akai's plan but also help Jodie get the hint about who the culprit is!

Why are we having this random flashback with Ran? Is it so we can feel like she's somewhat important to the plot even though we all know she isn't. Also Akemi looks nothing like Ran, I really don't know why they keep making this compariosn. They really want to force Ran into this plot while giving her nothing significant to do in it, it's such an insult to her character. Just fucking give her a proper role. Show me that she is more than just his love interest.

Akai, taking a page out of Shinichi's book and deciding to go the fake death route and gaslight his allies about his death. This was how they bonded.

Oh so when the police takes Shinichi's belongs for evidence, they buy him another, but when they took my laptop for evidence, the fuckers made me have to buy a new one by myself <.<

[performing-personhood]

On crumbling empires, wastelands and independence personal and otherwise.

So, my social internet addiction is crumbling. Finally. If i can keep interrupting the domapine reward cycle, I might finally be able to "get clean." It's been a long 25 years here online, watching my homeland be invaded and destroyed.

I was a desperately lonely, peer-romantic-partner abused, undiagnosed autistic, homeschooled teenager raised an atheist and living a 45m drive from the city. The only way I could have been more isolated is if my family lived in a bunker. The kids living in the Branch Dividian compound had more community than I did. And I say this because I need the young people to understand that I had no other options for connection. The internet was my only window into what the world was like, who people were, what a friendship was, and what it meant to have a community. The first friend I ever made was on the internet. The first community I ever found was my role playing group first on Yahoo!Groups, then LiveJournal, and Deadjournal after that. My first inside jokes were about flash videos I watched on AlbinoBlacksheep. The first real risks I ever took involved P2P filesharing.

It was utopian, and I Believed in it.

I Believed in the power of humanity to come together and I Believed that the internet was going to lead us to a future where postscarcity and full inclusion was the norm. And then I watched the colonists trolls move in, take over, and slowly drive away those of us who were there for pure reasons. It happened so slowly I didn't know what was happening. I was the proverbial frog. It took all these years and all this time, a decade of suffering bitterly at the sight of what were once fruitful places of friendship and unity devolve into primitive infighting and misinformation. And I have finally had it explained to me, what happened here, in a way that I understood and I feel like the blinders are off and I can see it for the first time. And I have to internalize, for the first time: this is a lie. None of this is real, it never has been. It feels like friendship, the same way a fleshlight feels like having a partner; If you close your eyes and just bask in the feelings, you can really convince yourself you're actually connecting with another person. But you aren't, I'm not. I never have been. It was never real. The things that ended up being real, well, it turns out I made them real on purpose through the sheer force of willpower and desperation.

It's time to go. What happens now? Now, as Death once said, with a kind smile and a warm outstretched hand, now's when I find out.

My first task in the culling process, the trimming hacking banding process I am doing to this insidious parasite, is to stop pretending I'm friends with people I don't intend to listen to. In years past, I was happy to unfollow, mute, move on with my life without having to alert the other person that they'd lost an audiencemember. But the time has long since passed for this kind of passivity. Now, I am unfriending people with complete disregard for tenure. I just unfriended someone I've been acquaintances with since we worked together seventeen years ago, i watched his babies be born and grow into cherubic aggressively-ginger midwestern kids. I watched him get glasses and a 5oclock shadow and become the physical personification of A Dad. And I straight up dropped him like a hot shit the very first time he posted "please don't vote for either person."

Absolutely not, friend. And I am sorry to learn they got to you, too.

Is that sad? A little bit, yeah if I think about it. But mostly, it feels good. Better than I expected. Relieved. Lightened of a burden. How long have I been forcing myself to the high road and be The Better More Empathetic Person, to love my enemy and react with no complementary behavior, to try and break the argument cycle wirh genuineness? How long have I tried to lift up others as well as myself, amongst the crabs in this bucket who do not care what my approach to the situation is as long as they can get a claw into my pant leg?

Now, for the other shoe here, before anyone comes in asking it: is this productive for a future, healthy society? Is this really a good approach to a breakdown in relations? Oh, absolutely not. This is scorched earth shit. It's not a productive approach to a reasonable situation.

But we're not in a reasonable situation anymore.

We're not playing baseball here, we're playing (sorry, Mr. Watterson) Calvinball. There are different rules now, and the only ones that exist are the ones that benefit The Other Guy who's making them up as he goes and changing them as he needs to so that he always wins "fairly." My friends, this is an unwinnable game for us.

And when one side is full of bad-faith actors successfully tricking empathetic people into going against their own interests by constructing hot-button big-feelings strawmen that weaponizes a target's own compassion and uses reasonable sympathy to twist the logic into such torus that its impossible for any reasonable person to make sense of? The only way I know how to win THAT game is to just not play it. Because they can't twist you in knots if you're not engaging.

It's such a shame that it has come to this. It breaks my heart that this is what I have to resort to, to finally be free of something that was once verdently alive and has since rotted away to become a kind of creeping mold that toxifies and consumes whatever it touches. A cordyceps that ruins people who maybe were good once, or who could have been.

But here, at home in my crumbling empire, it's a vestigial holiday; Independence Day, we call it. It meant something once. I don't know what it means now, or what it's going to mean in the coming years. So I'm redefining it and claiming it as my own.

I'm going to live on. I'm going to survive.

Today is MY independence day.

[descendant-of-truth]

Y'know what maybe I'm not done talking about Journeys queercoding actually. maybe I do wanna work out my literary analysis muscles for the sake of Pokemon protagonists. why not

To clarify, this isn't about me personally enjoying the ship between Ash and Gou. I do enjoy it, but I'm making an argument for potentially deliberate queercoding in the writing, I'm not necessarily just here to gush (though that may be a side effect)

I'm also a firm believer that actions or behaviors that we typically think of as romantic are only made romantic if that's how the people involved feel about it. I don't think romance is the only possible way to interpret their relationship.

But when it comes to predicting where a story might be going next, or figuring out what the writers are intending to hint at us, I gotta pull out my textbook of Romantic Tropes first to see what fits the bill.

And I'm sorry, but even if it's not the intended interpretation, you can't include all of these scenes:

...and assume no one in your audience will think there's anything romantic happening here.

Of course, those are just the obvious visual interactions between them that can come off as romantic, to say nothing of the symbolic visual hints; the no less than four rainbows they've been under (one of which was reflected in Gou's eye), the two sets of heart-shaped pokemon that swam past them in a single episode which also had them falling under a rainbow, stuff like that.

But even all of that is pretty surface-level stuff. If the writing doesn't support a queer reading very strongly, then my argument for the queercoding being particularly intentional would fall flat.

Thankfully, the writing does support a queer interpretation, so I'm in the clear! Since breaking this part down will take a lot longer, I'm putting it under a cut.

So, right off the bat we've got the basic setup for the show. For the first time, the focus is primarily on Ash and one other person, as opposed to two or more people... despite having a third person in Chloe, who could easily make this into a trio dynamic, considering she's friends with Gou from the start. But they choose instead to make the core of the show about Ash and Gou.

This is even reflected in promotional material, where they'll often be placed closer to each other than Chloe:

Them being roommates is something I usually bring up as a joke, but it is worth noting anyway simply because it's another way the writers have decided they're going to spend almost all of their time together when they really didn't have to.

But now we gotta get into the real Writing Choices(TM) that are the meat and potatoes of this analysis, such as: making brief allusions to the idea that they might like other guys, too

One way to build up a character's orientation is to show them being attracted to people in shorter instances before giving them a main love interest. Think Luz from The Owl House; she had expressed attraction to both boys and girls before she got a girlfriend or started wearing a bi pin.

Likewise, this is Ash when he's thinking about Leon after seeing him battle for the first time:

I kid you not, he keeps up this blush and zoned-out expression for a solid minute, so caught up in thinking about how cool Leon is that he doesn't even think to eat the scones in front of him.

Now, Ash is a person frequently characterized by his love for food, and in previous episodes he had expressed a particular adoration for Galar scones, so this is pretty unusual behavior for him.

So unusual that it's. literally never happened before, to the best of my knowledge?? I don't think it takes much analyzing to realize that, even if it was brief, you could easily take this as Ash having a celebrity crush on Leon.

(There's even pink flowers in the background but that's probably less important)

Meanwhile with Gou, his "setup crush" in this scenario would be Horace. These two have a whole episode dedicated to their first meeting and the bond they forged, and how that turned bitter on Gou's end when he gets stood up right as he thought he was finally making a friend.

What sets this up for a romantic interpretation is largely the framing of things towards the end of the episode:

"Why do I keep thinking of him" is historically not the most platonic thing you could be bitterly thinking to yourself while you remember stargazing with someone, even if I do stand by my statement earlier of nothing being inherently romantic by itself

The end of the episode also implies that the feeling is mutual, if this shot is anything to go off of

(It's just a very shoujo manga-esque frame okay there's no way I wasn't going to point it out)

And the ending scene is two Celebies looking down happily at the two of them while the narrator talks about how pokemon form "many different kinds of bonds"

Many kinds of bonds, huh? Wonder what he could possibly be implying there

Okay so we've got orientation buildup, next in line is this. suspiciously consistent trend of characters who are close to Ash telling Gou to take care of him, or even going out of their way to test him to make sure he's good enough to be his rival or friend.

Gou himself even echoes the sentiment completely unprompted once, which says even more to me that they're trying to make a point out of this:

And here's the thing. None of the other companions have ever undergone this sort of treatment. Nobody questioned whether or not Ash's friends were good enough to hang out with him before, so why now? Why Gou? What makes him different?

Kiawe is relatively easy to explain because (from what I can tell) he's just Like That about rivalries, but why the addition of describing a rival as "the person closest to Ash"? Why does Gary suddenly care about the quality of Ash's buddies when that was never really a concern for him before?

Well gee I don't know about you guys but to me, this feels like the trope where someone's friends and family all start scouting out the guy they're interested in (or who is interested in them) to make sure they won't like, break their heart or something. And despite my best efforts, I'm struggling to see how this wasn't the writers' intention behind these plotlines.

Gou telling Ash's mom that he'll look after Ash on two separate occasions as opposed to the initial one also feels like an easy parallel to someone promising their love interest's parents that they'll be a good partner.

To my understanding, that isn't traditionally something friends also have to promise, even if there's more justification here as Ash and Gou are traveling around and getting into chaotic situations regularly.

So, with all this in mind, it kind of reframes the stuff I mentioned earlier, doesn't it? The blushing, the hand-holding, the spin hug that I'm never getting over, the frequent appearance of rainbows and the heart shaped Pokemon (Luvdisc if you were wondering)... it feels a lot more intentional once you take into account the bigger themes in the writing.

And once you start looking, it keeps piling up. The way Gou hurriedly says that he totally didn't want to help Ash out or anything after Scorbunny gives him a knowing look, like how most tsundere tropes tend to play out:

Or the specific way Gou is taken aback by one of Ash's compliments before trying to play it off by looking cool, only to be comically shocked when Ash gets distracted by something else:

I could go on but I'm running out of image space and I think you get the idea.

Ash's side of this whole thing is admittedly a lot more subtle than Gou's (*cough* because he's arospec) which is why I haven't gone over it much - my aim with this post was not to go too far into speculation territory - but we at least have marketing on our side for that

Gee Ash how come Animedia let you feed Gou two pastries

Anyway, in conclusion: I ran these two through the literary queerometer and the results were positive, thanks for coming to my TED talk