#being sized up by a gator is chilling

[thursdaynights]

Gator casts warning call

Me, starstruck, breathless:✨woooooooooow✨

[thescarletnargacuga]

If i may make a suggestion, human AU sickfic, maybe?

A/N: poor hoomans

THE FLU

A HUMAN AU SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: none

~~~

Pomni coughed into her millionth tissue. She'd been diagnosed with influenza, and nearly bedridden all week. Her throat burned with fury of a California wildfire while she could barely breathe through her runny nose. She ran a fever off and on, causing body wide aches and fatigue. She barely ate anything out of lack of appetite, not helping her energy levels.

Thankfully, she had a TV in her room and her phone so she had all the entertainment in the world at her fingertips. She binged show after show while she struggled to sleep.

Caine insisted she have the master bedroom to herself while sick. He wasn't worried about exposure, but her coughing was keeping him up at night with worry so he slept on the couch in the living room so he could get sleep and go to work. He texted her often about how she was doing, did she need anything while he was out, telling her when he would be home, etc.

Bubble could sense that his human was not okay and would spend the entire day chilling with her in bed. It's the calmest he's ever been. When he wasn't chewing on his toy, he was cuddling with Pomni and getting so many pets. It was the best.

Pomni laid against her high wedge pillow, watching her shows when Caine came in. He was still in his work suit, carrying some tea and a large shopping bag. "Hello, my dear. Did you get much rest today?"

"Meh...kind of." Pomni grumbled, her voice was rough from all the coughing. "Bubble and I have been binging Bridgerton. Have you seen it? It's pretty good."

"Heard of it, but haven't seen it myself." Caine set the hot cup of tea on the nightstand next to Pomni, shuffling a few pill bottles and cough drops out of the way. "Made you some chamomile tea. I added that vitamin C powder we got from the pharmacy, help your immune system a bit."

"Thank you." Pomni smiled through the fatigue. "What's in the bag?"

"I bought you a few things." He pulled out a big box of tissues. "You've been going through these by the box, so I got the biggest one they sold."

Pomni almost laughed. "Only one?"

"Nope. There are sixteen more in the hallway closet."

"I stand corrected."

"I also got," Caine pulled out another big box. "This jumbo pack of snack cakes. Apple cinnamon, your favorite."

"Aw, Caine, thank-"

"BUT WAIT! There's more! I got this really nice smelling massage oil. I can rub out those sore spots for you, if you'll let me." He winked.

Pomni laughed, coughing a little. "Only if you promise to just give me a back rub. I don't have the energy for hanky panky."

"Promise, love. Oh!" He set the bottle of oil in Pomni's lap with the snack box. "I also found this mini gator plush! Look at 'im!" He put a hand sized sitting gator plush in Pomni's lap.

She cooed over the little gator. "Oh my god, he's so cute!"

"Smell him! He's scented! Pineapple and Lime, I believe." Caine double checked the tag.

"Caine... I don't have a sense of smell right now."

"Oh yeah, well you can smell them later, because I have something else for you!"

"How many things do you have in that magician's bag of yours??" She was smiling more than she had all week. He was being silly for her sake and she loved him for it.

"Just one more thing." Caine searched the bag but I was empty. "Huh...that's strange. Where did I put it?" He felt his various suit pockets.

"What did you lose?"

"Oh wait, silly me. It wouldn't fit in the bag."

Pomni's eyes widened. "Caine...what did you buy?"

"It doesn't have a price tag." He gave Pomni a cheeky smile and kissed her forehead. "It's all my love for you."

"You're such a dork. I love you." She hugged him.

"I love you more. More and more each day." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm gonna need you to get better soon. I miss kissing those lips of yours."

"I'm working on it. Flu season is rough this year. Wanna watch Bridgerton with me?"

"Absolutely." Caine started changing into more casual clothes.

Pomni caught Bubble trying to sneak a bite at her new Gummy Gator plush. She snatched it away. "No! Destroy your own toys. This one's mine."

Bubble whined and begged for the plush, despite the fact that his own toy was literally right next to him. Pomni distracted him with belly rubs and he forgot all about the new plush.

After Caine was changed and grabbed his own drink, he joined Pomni on the bed and settled to watch TV. He held her close with an arm over her shoulders. She leaned on him but had to blow her nose often to not drip nose goo on him.

Despite Pomni being sick, being with her and relaxing after a long day was the best thing in the world to Caine.

[yippeeometer]

Idk if these are considered rare pairs, but here are some of my fav rare pair ships :D

FlouiSconsin (FL/LA/WI)

FloYork

TexYork

Texas/Wyoming/Montana

*you don't have to answer any of these, please do not feel forced to :D*

gonna answer all of them try that on for size

FLOUISCONSIN:

u just know theyre the ones throwing the new years party and its literally insane. typa guys to craft a massive stone boulder so they can actually say the ball dropped on the new year. typa guys to be researching haunted things on ebay to make halloween parties realistic.

their nights out should be classed as an olympic sport. Yeah you may have won a gold medal for sprinting but 1000% 3 drunk guys being chased by a zoo animal they accidentally let escape are faster than you.

something tells me they'd be the scariest people to sit near. theyre always giggling. always watching. what can they possibly be talking about.

they own like 2 pairs of real shoes between all of them and then just various non matching crocs

since sconsin has to be soooo far from the other two they just constantly have him on facetime. all day. theyre joining in on midwest arguments they know nothing about. theyre tattling to the south as soon as any drama goes down.

FLOYORK:

they serve couple-that-isnt-divorced-but-should-be vibes. theyre SICKENING omg two of the most insane people youve ever met.

we dont play around enough w the true extent of flo's madness he'd probably fill york's room w rats bc he heard that he likes them and york, matching his freak perfectly, would find it romantic. everyone else looks on in horror.

flo turns up at northeast meetings like an in-law at family gatherings to watch the drama. he definitely has a twitter account called 'weird shit my husband's family has fought over'

two strange guys with strange passions for animals. theres a collection of gator-sized sweaters in their closet that york gives flo whenever they argue (frequently)

'youre a snowbird' 'youre a leaf peeper' have you considered youre insufferable.

TEXYORK:

i acc love this ship youre never alone when yippeeometer is at the shipyard

theyre gonna be a slow-burn but in the sense that york's natural way of speaking is in one-word sentences and texas (daddy issues galore) would instantly be freaked out. local northeast man now befuddled how his flirting is not being picked up on.

oh god theyre sooooo awkward around each other. southern hospitality vs 'i can f*cking do it myself' northeast. match made in hell. hate them. no one knows how to communicate but also its sooo not casual when he begged u to come down to his ranch so he could teach u horseback riding. was it casual when he stopped the whole 'more than a city' shtick bc he wanted to show ONLY u around.

abnormal behaviour galore.... daddy issues galore..... typa guys where theres two wolves inside them (must protect him) (ab to get soooo vulnerable around him)

TX/WY/MT

cowboys!

typa guys where their only way of flirting is through the medium of horses. this is my horse shes called angel. yeah she fast. want to ride my horse? no seriously you have to ride my horse. u can even wear my hat when u do it but its totally chill or whatever....

its actually not chill they all compete at rodeos against each other and they WILL make it ur problem when it ruins the relationship.

farmer men..... farmer men..... grrrrrr what a yeild of crops..... just got some cows...... u can see them if u want...... u can stay in my bed.....

montana would have such fun with mr. 'pay attention to me or i die' texas and mr. 'no one look at me or ill kill myself' wy. sat at the table trying to maintain eye contact constantly with one whilst completely ignoring the other to not make the whole relationship obvious (its the most obvious thing in the world.)

[z45capp]

August 5 - 高雄到台南; National University of Tainan, Ten Drum Cultural Village

Being drowsy is no fun when I’m trying to get work done. With an hour bus ride to 台南， I hoped to complete some administrative work, but that did not happen. I did send my resume to my mentor to get it reviewed, so that was good. No other work happened, but some sleep did. I think I definitely needed that sleep. However, when I woke up, I had to use the bathroom really really urgently, and not being able to tell when we would get to our destination, I asked 葉老師 who said 5 minutes. Longest 5 minutes of my life, I literally ran off the bus as soon as Terry opened the door. Thanks B for your support during this difficult time. 

Our first stop was at the National University of Tainan. We did a calligraphy workshop and learned how to use the brush pen to paint characters. It was a little hard to get the brush strokes right, but it at least got done, and for not having done that in a while, the characters didn’t come out too bad. It was really embarrassing when the teacher, also 葉老師, came over and said one of my practice characters was bad. Yeah, I think that moment is going to live with me forever, but at least now it is ingrained in me that the spacing of the radicals and strokes needs to be even. (To be fair, the spacing was very wonky, but still, so embarrassing, I did NOT keep my practice paper). Once, I got some momentum, the characters did come out a little better, lots of people said that my characters were good, but I thought theirs were better. This is probably just because we are all so critical of our own work that we just say how bad ours are while complimenting others. The sizing of the characters on my fan is still not the greatest, but the fan turned out okay, so I guess I can be happy with it. The workshop was really fun and I am glad we had this activity. Our guides also fed us lunch at the University. I got fried chicken with rice, glass noodles, and two different vegetable sides. The lunch was so good and I was so hungry that I ate everything. It was so nice of them to provide us with lunch. 

Then we headed over to Ten Drum Cultural Village, a repurposed sugar refinery turned into a space for traditional drum musicians. We got to walk around before the performance at 3pm, and I saw these super cute cat spoons (the same ones we had used at the cat cafe in 台北), but since I didn’t buy them right away, when I went back after the performance, the shop was closed. I am really sad because they were so cute, but I hope that I can either find them in a different store or worst case scenario order them from Amazon. The performance was very good, although I was not expecting a metal band to play, I thought it was a traditional drum performance. Cross Metal’s performance entertained me, even if I was periodically blinded by their strobe lights, and honestly, I think I might be a fan. The band members were super chill too and stopped to take a photo with us afterwards, we even got them to do a Gator Chomp! Band member Ten Ten even liked the stories people posted of the group photos! Once the performance finished, we got some free time, but being so tired, Austin, Jacob, Jack, Eli, and I decided to sit down in one of the restaurants in the are and talk for a little bit. We were soon joined by Fanny and Faith and continued talking about conspiracy theories, specifically about aliens, what we would do in a zombie apocalypse, how the Japanese stock market is crashing but the value of the Yen is going up, and probably more that I can’t remember. Then, after a little bit of shopping, we headed back to the bus to go to the hotel.

This hotel is really nice, probably the nicest one we have been to, and has a stationery store right next to it! Amazing, but also super bad for my wallet. Before heading out to Da Dong Night Market for dinner, Brev, Jasmine, Amy, Brooke, Iris, and I stopped by for some quick shopping. At the store, I had to point out every Mofusan Cat Shark item to Jas, who has been haunted by this character for a long time, so long that it is now even haunting me. Brooke was looking at the plushies and found the yellow and green turtle, and while debating what size to get (the big plushie or the keychain size), I told her to full send it and just get the big plushie. However, we both ended up walking out of there empty handed (but we also might both be back there tomorrow).

Final stop Da Dong Street Market. I felt like Da Dong was a little bigger than the other street markets I have been to, this could just be because of the layout, which was more square rather than vertical like the others. For dinner, I started with grape tanghulu, so good, even with the sugar sticking to my teeth, then got some dofu after Brev let me taste hers. The dofu was pretty good, it was lightly boiled with a little bit of sauce and spice put onto it. I am so glad I got that because I think it is my favorite night market food so far. Then Brev got some milk tea and mini pancakes before helping me buy a replacement silver ring for my old one whose tarnish is coming off. The vendor said that it shouldn’t change color on me, but for only 300 NTD, I sincerely hope it doesn’t. I get the vibe that the vendor is really trustworthy (he did leave us standing in front of his stall while he went somewhere else), so I will be really sad if the tarnish does come off. With shopping done and some money dropped, I called it a night and walked back to the hotel with Iris and a few others. A good night to a long day. 

Academic Reflection

台南是台灣的最老的城市. I did not know this, and would have thought that either 台北 or 高雄 would have been the oldest city, especially 高雄 with the harbor. Nevertheless, it does make sense that a city on the eastern side of the island, a bit closer to China would be the choice, still, 高雄 isn’t that far from 台南. I also learned that 台南 was the capital of 台灣 for more than 200 years before it was moved to 台北. I really do learn something new on this trip every day. 在台灣，台南的人口是第六個的城市。It is surpassed by 台北，高雄， and a few other places. I also would not have thought that the oldest city in Taiwan would have such a big population, but when thinking about it, because of all the history surrounding the city, it would make a lot of sense for people to live here. 

Ten Drum Cultural Village was built by the Japanese during the colonial period. It was originally named Rende Sugar Factory. The factory has been renovated and is kept in pristine condition to ensure the cultural heritage survives. The Village is well taken care of, with workers painting some of the old refinery equipment to keep them fresh and closing off certain parts to the general public too. The Village is also supposed to be an ecological attraction, definitely seen with the koi pond and beautiful green spaces. I am sad that we didn’t get to see Ten Drum Art Percussion Group who combine traditional drumming with modern performance. I think this performance would have been extremely interesting to watch since I’ve never seen traditional drumming performed before.

Ten Drum Cultural Village article:

[pbandjesse]

I'm exhausted. Like bone deep exhausted. And it does not help that I'm still in a lot of pain. But now there is new pain too. Because I did to much showing off. When will I learn.

When I got home last night I was just really happy to eat my leftover chipotle with James and then take a hot bath. I kept a rag with the hot water around my shoulders and it helped lessen the pains in My neck. And then I had a little bit of luck with some of the stretches that Mom sent me. They didn't help as much as I was hoping but a lot of the reason is because I can't get my shoulders to drop down and they're like up around my ears. I'm trying very hard but it is not exactly working.

I woke up this morning and I wasn't actually hurting too much. I got dressed and I felt pretty good. My hair feel very dry today but that's okay. I might go and try to get some kind of dry oil at the store tomorrow I don't know if that concerned about it. It was going to be a nice day.

I stopped from McDonald's for breakfast but then they gave me regular cook instead of diet and I was pretty disappointed. And I didn't want to go back so I would end up giving it to PJ because I didn't want it to be wasted.

I got the camp at 8:00 and things were okay. I did not really walk around as much as I have been because I was so sore. So after I made sure everything was set up I got in my hammock and I just chilled until around 9:00.

That's when Candela told me that the tipis were heading to the council right and that she would love my help. So I got to spend a little less than an hour helping out with them and it was so fun.

They had to mix the sand with powder pigment and they needed some more so I remembered that I had some from years ago from day camp so CJ ran up to get the gator bring that down because it was very heavy. And Candela went to go get some rakes so that the kids could get council ring all ready for The image and then they would color it in.

It took a while to get everything ready but once it was ready I had so much fun trying to draw these horses. I did a rough sketch first in the sand as they were raking just to figure out the scale then I had candela look at it and see if it was the right size and what she was looking for. I'm not really very good at drawing horses so this was a little nerve-wracking but it ended up being great. And I was very fast at it so while Candela was supposed to do one and then I was doing one and then we were going to have two other people would on the others I did three of them in the time she did one. So we completely finished the actual drawing and the kids were able to jump right into coloring them in with the sand.

And I just felt so proud. Both of myself for drawing a horse consistently three times even though they were very chunky. And for the kids for doing such a good job tracing it out and coloring it and making it look so beautiful. I hope everyone appreciated it because it looked amazing.

I had told woodlands that I was in the council line because they're always late arts and crafts so I wasn't going to be rushing back up there and even though I didn't get up there to almost 10 I still beat them there. But once I got there they were very sweet and honestly everyone did really good for that. I didn't have really any issues except for a hot glue gun burn later in the day. Everyone else did an excellent job.

Good morning went really well though and I got to work on my blanket which is almost completed. They're still going to be a lot of finishing work and sewing down woven edges and stuff but the actual attaching of the blanket is almost done. I only have The one panel left and then it will be completely put together. And I am so happy. Louisa would come and she was very silly today she did some embroidery then she got bored and she want to try other stuff.

So I showed her how my Ariel silk worked for yoga and she ended up being really good at inverting and so I showed her how to do like a pike and invert and do harness and a backpack not and then we played around with a couple shapes. She's really good at it because I wanted to show off things I know how to do I absolutely bruised my lower back. Feels nice though because I miss doing it I'm just not very strong anymore in my upper body so I was for sure trying to do too much but I was having so much fun and now I want to buy a whole apparatus and get back into it because I love it so much I just hate the classes because I hate waiting. So we'll see what happens but it was really nice to do that and I'm glad that she enjoys it but I'm also very worried about her breaking her head open. Because she was doing it a couple of the other kids wanted to try it including a counselor so I had a couple people walking through how to go upside down and some of the news and I was just watching a lot of heads making sure no one was going to fall. It was just a blast.

At lunch I walk down to the council ringless Louisa to see the finished course painting and it looked so good. Took some pictures and then went to the dining hall to get french fries. The vegetarian option was not done yet and I did not want to wait any longer. And I wasn't that hungry anyway because I had brought my McDonald's sandwich. Now I spent some time just laying in my hammock. I read for a little while. And it was really nice. I was still really sore and my neck was hurting but when I had inverted on the hammock I was able to just kind of let my shoulders go for the first time and it hurt but it didn't feel as tight and so I think I need to work on that a little bit more. Something to think about.

My afternoon groups were great. There was a burn injury which was upsetting. She wasn't even using hot glue gun she was next to someone using hot glue gun and there was a pile of pot glue and she accidentally got her finger on it and my first aid stuff kicked in and I was very calm and I kept reassuring her and I got the hot glue off of her I put her hand under cold water for a few months but she was scream crying and I felt so bad. And I know it hurt because it was big and pink and circular. I called the nurse and while we waited for the nurse I got an ice pack for her and we sat and I just made sure she was okay and I was very calm. I don't ever want to seem dismissive but me freaking out at the same time as her freaking out is not going to help anything. And then once the nurse came up she gave her burn cream and everything was all right nobody was freaked out she was just more upset that she thought she wasn't going to be able to the project just the nurse told her to not use her finger too much. So I would have attach everything but she would direct how to do it and she ended up with a very cute puppy. Everything would be okay.

And tipis would come and I had a great time just chatting with them about siblings and telling stories and listening to their stuff. I taught Aubrey how to make a bracelet on the circle loom. And I kept working on my sewing and it was a good day I was having a lot of fun.

At the end of tipis's program Louisa wanted to show them all how she could do a split in the silk so I let her go up in that and then we were showing off a couple different moves and then it turns out one of the kids also knew how to do it from taking circus classes so we let her go on it and it was just a very silly and a lot of fun. I'm just glad nobody got hurt. I let alexie know that we have been playing around with it and she said that she trusts me and that she's not worried that I would let someone get hurt on profess. Even if we are doing something dangerous I'm making sure we're doing it safely even if we don't have a crash mat.

I wasn't sure if they were going to meet me to stay to help with pick up at the end of the day road really hoping they want because I very much wanted to go home. My neck was hurting still on my back was bruised and my thighs hurt from running the horse last night. Nothing was too bad and wouldn't be until I got home but I really wanted to leave.

I went down to the office to double check that they didn't need me. Annabelle head volunteered to do the bears so I did not have to. And then I waited for Celia to bring a few things up that she had borrowed and I myself together and then I was off.

I drove to home Depot to get the tile adhesive I needed for next week's project. Right before I left I made sure that everything was set up and I know I'm not going to have enough objects but I think it will be okay at least for a couple days. So I worked on that and got everything together and then went to the store. When I got to the store immediately I found a very nice man to show my picture to of what I was looking for but they did not have the one I wanted. So he found me an alternative that was only slightly more expensive and I asked my questions like the cure time and texture and he said it was like a white peanut butter and I said oh the kids call it forbidden green cheese and he literally belly laughed out loud and it was so cute. And I just thought that was the sweetest thing.

After I paid I headed out to my car and there were two girls, young like teenagers or 20 somethings, parked behind me and they were laughing at my stickers and they came out and they told me that I was very cool and that they knew that the person they parked behind was just a really neat person and that made me feel very good and I said I just want people to think that I'm just a little weird. It was a very cute interaction and it everyone drive home.

And the drive home was fine. No traffic or anything but turning my head to look for cars hurts a lot still. I'm doing it but I am for sure turning my whole shoulders.

Once I got home honestly I started falling apart more. Everything started to ache and I think my body up and holding itself together because I couldn't do anything about it and so when I got here I was just like falling apart. James was making us food and they tried really hard but the mac and cheese didn't come out right. It was very salty and very oily. But I really appreciated them trying and we both had hot dogs. I have a vegetarian one for my Kia. It was very good. And then James went and got me acetaminophen from Walgreens because apparently that won't bother my liver as much. Because I just could not function with my neck hurting this much. Like I couldn't turn and look at the coffee table.

Sweet pea late with me and we had some ice cream and it was kind of a rough evening but I was happy to be home and be with the two things I love the most. My husband and my cat.

Eventually I went and took a shower and washed my hair real good. And I felt a little bit more like a person. I got in bed and watch TikToks for a while. Eventually though I was very sore and I just wanted to close my eyes. James came and laid with me and I close my eyes for like a half an hour. But I wanted to get my post done so that I can go to sleep for real because I still have to work at the farmers market tomorrow. And Anna is not going to be there so I have to be in charge the entire time. Which is fine. I'm just sleepy already so I'm not 100% looking forward to it. And then James is going to New York so I'm going to have some time nice but I will also miss them very much.

I hope it's a good day. I hope you all sleep great. And feel better tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.

[deadly-whispers]

Animatronic Character Masterpost

• Freddy Fazbear

He does his best to keep everything together, and be a proper leader for his friends. Everything always seems to fall apart anyway though, no matter how hard he tries.

• Bonnie Bunny

Missing

Bonnie was decommissioned peacefully. No mystery or murder to solve, in fact, he knew it was coming and accepted it. Afterwards, Afton jumped on the opportunity, and the body went missing. Bonnie is now trapped in the backseat of his mind watching everything happen.

• Chica Chicken

Chica always does her best, trying to stay optimistic and strong. She wants to make sure others can do the same.

• Foxy (the pirate) Fox

Missing

Missing for 12 years, he's back on his feet. As tempting as running back to his friends is, he's not even sure who they are anymore. It's all just changed so much... better to stay in the dark. Better to keep himself from making it worse.

• Montgomery "Monty" Gator

The newest addition to the 'Plex. He was never meant to be a glamrock, but here we are. He hates it, but there's nothing to do about it but just hope he decides he likes the spotlight.

• Roxanne "Roxy" Wolf

Much like Monty she was never meant to be on stage. But she's here anyway, so bitter about it all that she'll take it out on just about anyone. Quick to anger and even quicker to form a grudge, she's definitely not the most pleasant ever. Not anymore.

• Sunrise "Sunny"

Anxiety personified. He's an actor but being fake can only get you so far, he's stressed about everything all the time and because of it is a huge stickler for the rules. Still though, nothing seems to help.

• Moonlight "Moon"

Moon used to be better, but now... it's just desperate attempt after attempt to keep him away from the kids. Too many complaints, too much of a liability to keep him out..

• Dj Music Man

GIANT ENEMY SPIDER! Dj doesn't know what the word "chill" means. He has a bit of a habit of jamming out so hard you can't escape the noise all the way across the building. Silly, silly, spider.

• Ringo Rat

Him and the rest of his rodent buddies are stationed down in the VIP lounge. Ringo acts as a sort of bouncer and manager, making sure everything goes as planned.

• Cameron Capybara

Cameron's meant to be entertaining. With the slightly tipsy to straight up drunk crowd that usually finds his company, it's not hard.

• Finley Ferret

Finley is the biggest of the four, but still doesn't come in any taller than your average human being. Reason for his size being, he has a stomach hatch that functions like a cooler. It's rarely used though, as he's too energetic to sit still for long.

• Melody Mouse

Melody is the bartender for the lounge. She's quick with her hands and her tail is nimble enough to work like a third hand for her. She's also quite strong, able to drag grown men off her bar when it's time to stop drinking.

[magnoliabloomfield]

I don’t remember reading books that addressed those things or had that kind of affect on me. I do remember reading “Mrs. Morgan’s Lawn” which was about a little boy and the next door neighbor never let her lawn look bad, like she’d go out and pick up one leaf. And everytime he had a ball and it went in her yard she’d keep it. And he wondered why and what she did with them and that she was just mean. The parents usually said “that’s just how some people are”. Then the neighbor gets sick or something and the boy sees her yard covered in leaves for a few days. He decides to go rake it and the next day all his lost balls are in his front yard. The next time one goes in her yard she actually kicks it back to him and I think the last line is like “they says that’s just how some people are, but I think some people are full of surprises.”

“Zack’s Alligator” tells of a boy who gets a letter from his uncle in Florida. Inside is a little alligator keychain and letter says to “water Bridget”. When he gets the keychain wet it turns into a real life alligator who basically has a baby’s day out where she’s just on a crack head adventure, shaking her fists at Karen’s with their teeny dogs, biting tires, general menace shenanigans. And she likes to sing “oh I am a gator from the glades!” After a while she starts to shrink unless she’s watered. At the end of the day she’s just about keychain sized again and asks if he will water her again tomorrow and he promises and oh my god I’m like tearing up writing this. The last picture is her sleeping in his pocket holding onto some spare change.

“Bunicula” literary masterpiece. The Family bring home a poor baby bunny they rescued and the dog Howard and the cat Chester discover the bunny is a vampire, but really he just sucks the juice out of veggies and leaves their pale corpses behind. The dog is super chill. The cat is not. I remember clearly losing my mind when the cat has the bunny pinned under a T bone steak and is just pounding on it because he read you’re supposed to “stake” a vampire.

Some others I more vaguely remember but still remember are things like “why you shouldn’t bring your elephant to school”, “put me in the zoo”, and “no peas for Nelly.”

I think the kids books that were around during my childhood in the 90’s kind of aimed for general things about being a good person, understanding others, and just plain silly entertainment, and left more detailed, personal matters to the parents. Back then maybe more parents were better at handling it because the world wasn’t like on fire constantly with catastrophes and no living wages. This was all like pre cell phones and home internet, at least in my middle class family. So it was a very different world than it is now and needs and society have changed a lot.

Book Discussion

here is another question brought to you from my grad school assignments: which books you read as a child had the biggest effect on how you understood your identity and others in the world, like gender, race, and sexuality? beauty queens by libba bray was the first that came to my mind, a fantasticly clever and funny read that addresses numerous social issues and critiques capitalism as well.

[security-breach-imagines]

Security Breach Headcanons for the animatronics meeting a Lion animatronic whose job is to wander and scan for threats

Bonus if thy fall for the Lion

Sorry for taking so long to answer this I wanted to draw a picture of what the Lion animatronic would look like, image is down below

Notes; the Lion will be named Carter

Glamrock Freddy

- Being the big old friendly bear as he is he wants to befriend this security Lion, though he is kind of intimated by the shear size of the fellow animatronic only being a foot taller than him and Monty

- He doesn't know how to approach at first until he notices some stickers on his poaches and flashlight with hand made jewelry on his tail, coming up to Carter pointing out the childish items on his person

- Freddy and Carter then began to share their love for kids; how the kids' eyes light up when they approach them, how curiosity fills their mind about something like clouds or candy and the way kids would play with them

- A lot of the time when Freddy sees Carter during his routes he'll happily wave at him, while the lion waves back with a smirk on his face

Glamrock Chica

- Unlike Freddy she's very intimated as she watches Carter walk by her with a serious expression, Chica doesn't really want to try to connect with him at first only coming up under his chest

- Until she notices how much he fixes his mane many times, approaching him as he fixes his hair again. Asking him if she could fix his mane for him which Carter surprisingly accepted leading him to her room by his paw

- Sitting him down on the ground in front of her couch as she grabs her brush and hair products, combing through his thick hair then it was untangled and started to add the products until it was spiky and slicked back

- Afterwards she and Carter start spending together every time she does his hair, most of the time they're spotted on the stage eating and gossiping with each other

Roxanne

- Isn't so swayed by his looks Roxy just starts teasing him every step she gets, doesn't matter to her if he's busy or not she wants to press his buttons. They're mostly acting like rivals with each other, cause kids both love them making they're rivalry stronger

- Most of her time during the day is just teasing or hustling him around, but during the night she more relaxed and chill around them both since there's no kids around

- Sometimes the gang will find them relaxing in her room with her laying on his lap while she sharpen her claws, while Carter is braiding her hair as music play in the background

- During the night Roxy will help Carter out patrolling the complex, sometimes she'll help out during the day because she was 'bored and had nothing to do'

Monty

- Monty doesn't know why but he dislikes the Carter for whatever reason, giving him a hard time as he does his job; causing fights with other bots, making the kids go wild and doing things that would danger other guests

- A lot of the time Carter and Monty can be heard fighting in his room when the gator has a temper tantrum, hearing things being tossed around and metal hitting metal every once in a while seeing the window rattle as if someone was thrown at it

- The staff believes that it's best to keep them apart but they always find each other, starting to barter and yell at each other until it becomes either physical or it becomes a screaming match

- Carter tries to stay out of Monty's sight cause he wants to do his job in the complex, but the gator makes it difficult since he wants to start a fight every time he sees him

[minidigidestined]

Coiled Hope Part 1

This is mostly just worldbuilding and first-meeting explanation kinda-sorta-diary-style-ish thing for my very self indulgent fair folk/magical creature story featuring my darling and I’s nagasonas. I was thinking of rewriting it since it’s kinda blocky, but I like this diary first person pov for my planning and plain ol blurb stage. I’m excited to do more with this and other ideas, vore and otherwise–but first I’m excited to figure out the magic system and history of this world.

Anywho, a sand boa is brought to a remote mountain forest after keeping fair folk in captivity or servitude has been outlawed, whisking her away from a contented life with her human master. The small, pampered naga reminisces on life as she tries to figure out what to do next, and is shocked when she comes face to face with a wild fair folk–a massive rainbow boa many times her size.

I huddled, cold and silent, within the gnarled roots of an old willow. The ground was still damp with yesterday’s rain and the croaking of toads rung out like some sort of haunting choir–the realization that I had never been so alone seemed to smash into me face first. Like a sack of bricks.

Just yesterday, life was perfect. My Master had been stern, but she was kind. She adopted me from a lab study when I was still a juvenile–when the laws restricting the lab testing of fair folk became illegal–and had nurtured me in her home ever since.

I had become accustomed to human food, neverending warmth, and plenty of nice plants, sand and shredded bark to burrow through and had not wanted for anything since my youth in the labs. I had an entire room to myself in her home, and though I was never allowed out, I knew to be grateful to have come into the possession of such a wealthy and caring woman. I never asked many questions, but there wasn’t much I wanted to know anyways. I was just happy to be safe and content.

…Perhaps I was isolated too, but I certainly didn’t mind–nagas, after all, are solitary in nature, and so long as I had good food, a few books and a constant hot spot? Bliss.

Now that was all over though. Keeping the fair folk as pets or slaves was outlawed mere days ago, and my kind were granted citizenship in the human world–both captive and wild roaming “renegade” folk alike.

Thinking of my days back at the lab made me glad to have my “humanity” realized for sure, but… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy being with my Master. Even if other humans may have deemed me a mere pet, she always treated me like something more, something precious and worth protecting. She gave me humanity after a childhood of being nothing more than a beast, desperate to survive test after grueling test.

A wash of cold dread came over me in a wave, a lump forming in my throat. I clenched my jaw and desperately willed the old memories away, scratching at the skin of my arms anxiously with my stubby claws. Not here, not now… I couldn’t afford a meltdown, especially since I wasn’t sure if the tranquilizer the FFC–Fair Folk Control–officers had used on my last fit in the van would still affect me if my blood pressure rose or if adrenaline started to flow. I imagined the drug turning my blood syrupy and blanketing my brain, hissing through my teeth and forcibly controlling my breaths. Think of Master. She was always so sad when you got like this.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her silent appraisal and warm smile with all my broken heart, for sure. It was certainly better than this miserable mountain forest those FFC officers dumped me in after seizing me from my master, whisking me far away from human civilization. It was starting to sound a lot more like segregation than freedom the more I thought about it… I don’t think they even realized this was nowhere near my “natural environment”. Citizenship my tail.

For a small-sized sand boa like me, the damp air seemed to chill with a vengeance. I anxiously drew my chubby fingers over the nubby end if my tail, a nervous habit I formed in the labs. I distantly remembered both my master and scientists discussing portals to the Other–my birthright as fair folk, but a world I had never seen since being bred on Earth. Was that an option for me now?

My stomach began to knot painfully during my pondering, and I nearly keened with distress from imagining my master serving me my favorite dumpling soup in my flower bowl with the chipped paint.

No more dumplings. No more bowls. No more Master.

My senses seemed to heighten with my sharpening hunger, my tongue flicking out to scent the air. As much as the idea distressed me, I could smell the breathing creatures around me and knew that my wild kin would already be hunting… But I had only ever fed on pellets or human food, and though the idea of a full belly sounded nice, a belly full of cold, wriggling toads did not.

Miserable, I forced myself to slither from the roots. Maybe there would be another fair folk in these woods–if Master had thought so highly of my kind, then surely they would be willing to band together? Perhaps we could even talk about how much we loved our Masters together! Maybe we could find our way back. Maybe I could even learn more about the Other! For the first time since being taken away, I let myself begin to hope.

I winced at the mud caking on the pearly white underbelly of my tail and made a note to take a bath–or at least find a lake. I slithered along, clutching the hem of my baby pink dress tightly, my nerves utterly shot. I had always loved my adventure books, but going on an adventure myself? Not as exciting as I had dreamed.

I lost myself in the twisting anxiety and hope of my thoughts, barely registering twigs snapping loudly beneath the bulk of my tail or sharp stones scraping against my scales. I twisted the fabric of my dress thoughtfully over my knuckles, contemplating the fact that this was the last piece of my Master I would ever have, hand sewn and worn thin with love.I stopped, forcing myself to breathe evenly again.

I looked down into a muddy puddle, smiling sadly at my full-moon face. Even in my despair my eyes twinkled a soft pink, my round cheeks flushed and tangled brown curls tied to the side of my head, spilling over and hiding one of my pointed ears. I flex my tail and lift upwards a little to inspect my dress, pulling off stray leaves and admiring the roundness of my fat frame, all soft without an edge in sight.

My hips slipped seamlessly into a serpentine tail, in particular, the sausage-like shape of a sand boa. My scales are patterned pale brown and white with speckles of soft pink, the trio of colors almost like delicately flicked paint splatters. Master always told me I had the look of sweetness, if not a bit ditzy–but she always said it with a smile.

I tighten the band holding my curls together, ensuring the volume of the small poof at the crown of my head. I’m so utterly focused on my simple task that I almost blacked out in pure fear when another face appeared next to mine in the muddy pool.

I scramble forward with a cry and twist around, thrusting my hands out in a questionable showcase of self defense. I slap against something soft but firm–the slight yield of the intruder’s belly?–and jerk my hands back with a squeak as I look up to face the forest-dweller.

And up, and up, and up…

The creature before me is looming and massive, but sleek at the same time. I realize with a start that he’s a naga like me, but that seemed to be where the similarities end. Whereas my humanoid half is smaller than the average human, he was much, much bigger. His tail, though thin like the rest of him, is coiled with lean muscle and a deep red color like an apple, a few ebony markings ringing his spine.

“Hey, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” His smile was easy and genuine, but fear still made my heart race. “Are you okay?”

He was thin, a deep red cape draped across his shoulders and trailing the ground, its edges dirty and worn. Red scales speckled up his hips, torso and chest like freckles, blending in with the fuzz on his belly. His fingers were tipped by deadly sharp claws, his earthy brown hair long and messy. He looked equal parts ridiculous and regal, wild and in control.

I gaped like a fish out of water, pressing a hand to my chest when the clouds shifted and light came pouring over us… The massive naga seemed to suddenly swim with colors, his tail glittering and iridescent. I locked eyes with him and felt myself growing lost in the golden pools. “What are you?” My voice was a breath. Even in the labs, I had never seen another fair folk who…who shined. Not like this.

He smiled gently, opening his mouth to speak when a low grumble, slipping into a sharp growl, interrupted him. “Sorry, I’m starving,” He explained sheepishly, his long fangs glinting.

A chill ran down my back when I remembered the huge pythons back at the lab at feeding time, how they’d swallow human or fair folk prisoners whole since they couldn’t subsist off of engineered pellets alone. This guy definitely looked like a snake that would choose a whole person over a bowl of soup for a meal–but I wasn’t about to stick around and find out, pretty as his tail was.

It was as if my flight response finally kicked in as I whipped around to flee, but I was quickly halted by a glittering wall of scale and muscle. White noise filled my brain, my vision, my entire being.

Master… I thought. Please help me. Please save me again. I pressed the heel of my hands into my eyes, both trying to stop the tears and deluding myself into thinking I could hide.

“Yo, wait! You don’t wanna run that way. There’s some big gators there, they’d have you for a snack. You aren’t from here, are you?”

I still didn’t turn to look at him, but the naga’s voice held both concern and a trickle of amusement. He… he didn’t seem like a predator…

I tried to steady the stream of tears, turning to face him once more. “No, I’m not.”

His eyes widened at the glimmer of tears on my cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’re okay here, I promise. It’s okay.”

And before I knew it, it all came pouring out–both the unrelenting tears and my story. The huge naga listened intently, his lips pursed into a line of concern and his golden eyes focused right on me. I felt embarrassed by his rapt attention, but at the same time…seen. Really, truly Seen.

“I’m really sorry.” The larger naga reached down, his huge hand hovering inches above my plump little arm. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

I stared up at him with bleary eyes. “I’m so sorry. That all just burst out and I couldn’t stop and I just… You don’t have to comfort me.” I paused, heart twisting with a cocktail of shame and sweetness. “But uh…you can. Thank you. For being here. You don’t even know me and you’re…”

His hand was cool and firm, the skin rough. He gently stroked my arm with the pad of his thumb, his eyes looking far away. “You don’t need to apologize. Humans do bad things. They make bad choices, and then good people are left to pick up the pieces.”

His attention snapped back, his lazy smile returning as if he had never frowned in his life. “That’s why the forest is better, especially up on a mountain like this. I’m glad your…caretaker was good, but I promise a friend is even better.” The world ‘caretaker’s rolled off his tongue like a poison. Odd.

I couldn’t stop the rush of heat to my cheeks. “Thank you… Who are you, actually? I’ve dished out my whole life story and I don’t even know your name!” Now that my meltdown and blubbering had faded, I felt as if I could curl up into a ball and roll right away into nothing.

“Spectrum Maximus.” He grinned at my cocked eyebrow, flicking his lengthy tail to show off its iridescence. “I chose it myself! Now, who’re you?”

“You can do that?” I asked shyly, giggling at the name. “Well, in the study labs I was 42… My Master liked to call me Clover.”

Spectrum’s eyes fluttered with mischief. “I guess it’s appropriate, since it’s good luck that I found you here, but it sucks you never got a say. Who do you want to be?”

I couldn’t halt the flustered blush spreading across my face, though I couldn’t understand why. Who…did I want to be?

I looked downward, fiddling with the hem of my dress. I thought of every book, play and poem I had ever read, every bird and bug at the window, every season and holiday. Names and words flashed through my head, but still I came up blank. What in the world is a name? I never cared that Master called me Clover, but it didn’t feel like…

Home.

Maybe that’s what a name was–home. I thought of soft evenings in my room, Master smiling as she set down a bowl of homemade soup or curry or pasta on my desk and flipping open my favorite book. I thought of curling up next to her legs to eat, her slender fingers playing through my curls as she read to me. I thought of her teaching me how to read, how to write, how to sing along to a melody… I thought of one of our favorite treats to share together beneath my heat lamps, hot cocoa with peppermint chips and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Cinnamon. Warm, cozy and inviting.

“I’m Cinnamon.” I felt a warmth spread through my chest. Maybe those days were gone, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t carry them with me. That didn’t mean I couldn’t define who I was today. Who I wanted to be today.

“Cinnamon,” He repeated, speaking my new name as if it were something holy and special. “I think it suits you.” I felt a different kind of warmth surge through my cold blood at the way the corners of his mouth dimpled.

“Please, you barely even know me! You’ve just seen me a blubbering mess.”

“Well if that’s your worst, you must be pretty great,” He grinned, eyes twinkling with mirth. “I really hope you never see me cry. It’s about as gross and snotty as a snake can get.” His stomach snarled pitifully once more and he slapped it, brow quirking. “Shut up, you! You’re scaring our new friend!”

I winced. “Oh… You noticed?” At the rate my blush was growing, I might’ve well have been a rosy boa!

“You gasping in fear and trying to run away right into a bog? Yeah. It’s fine though, I usually have that affect on ladies.”

I rolled my eyes, unable to stop the smile bowing my own lips now. “So… You don’t y'know…eat people?”

“I’m not going to eat you if that’s what you’re asking. I am hungry though–I can take you back to my cave if you’d like. I cook a mean stew.”

“I could actually cook for you if you’d like. My Master taught me a few things for fun. It’s the least I can do.”

Spectrum smiled, his eyes the color of honey dripping from the comb and just as warm. “If it’ll get you to stop thanking me over and over when I’ve literally done nothing but sit here? Sure. Plus the mean is literal. I’m a really bad cook, so maybe it’s better if the homebody cooks something instead of the weird forest hermit.”

I couldn’t help but smile back even wider–the man’s mirth was positively infectious. “Well, you did keep me from being eaten by a gator.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” He slithered around me, coils whispering across the ground. How was such a massive creature so silent–if not in voice, then in movement? “Sometimes they like to visit my cave.”

I scrunched up my nose and flicked my tongue out instinctively as he passed. He smelled wild–dirt, sweat and trees. So different from my old homes, but welcome all the same. Maybe this wouldn’t be the end of the world after all.

And so, I followed him.

[sohannabarberaesque]

Meanwhile, some quality time among the Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera among the World-Renowned and Far-Famed Ten Thousand Lakes of Minnesota

Sunrise unlike any other.

A few stretching exercises for Huckleberry Hound and his Clementine coming out of the pup tent they chose to sleep in ... and before going for the breakfast (never mind such likely being of dehydrated derivation), just a few minutes’ refreshing swim in the chill of the early-morning lake is in order. And chill though the waters are, it couldn’t have been a more interesting swim, including a brief swing underwater ... and some rather wonderful handfasting.

Once back on shore--

“Huck--?”

“Yes, Clementine?”

“I admit it may have been a little chilly this time of the morning ...”

“But--”

“But it sure felt deserving enough to have some coffee out of the way!”

“And who wouldn’t resist some coffee after such a dive?”

*************

At your typical old-school resort’s tap room, a somewhat rainy evening seems to have put a damper on the likelihood of a sunset campfire ... but with the blessing of the resort’s management, none other than Captain Caveman decides to regale the guests with a few observations from his own unique standpoint about freediving. Even if his language seems to be a little broken (”Unga-bunga ... Cavey can’t help but feel wonderfully at peace underwater! Cavey’s hairy body keep things confortable!”), such doesn’t seem to stop some of the fellow Funtastics from relating their own diving tales such as--

That time The King and Skids used some rather crude diver’s helmets to find what remained of a Mexican restaurant as submerged when a reservoir came along--and a “treasure” of canned Hatch chili peppers which took some time to dry out and get over. As well as The King and Sheena finding some diving experiences themselves just the other day on the same lake, getting a little playful underwater in the bargain.

Wally Gator once stunning a manatee while diving in some springs somewhere in Central Florida, yet the manatee didn’t manage to show any attempt at reprisal.

In a sleazy-looking motel swimming pool somewhere near Gatlinburg, the Bungle Brothers (George and Joey), otherwise just killing time in the pool late at night, found two of those metal RFID-blocker wallets which guests “must have foolishly let slip into the pool while swimming,” were turned into the office--and whose manager let slip the fact that the guests had somehow sneaked out in the middle of the night days before, and that it “might be rather lucky” if they could locate their rightful owners (who, as the police later explained to them, were Notorious Drug Dealers).

As a subsidiary activity of a fishing trip to the Northwest Angle region of Lake of the Woods, Breezly Bruin (and his new girlfriend, Betty) decided to take up some diving time ... “and what a hug we two had at about 20 feet under the surface!”

“Shaggy” Rogers, perhaps the one closest to the quirks of Scooby-Doo, related a rather crazy episode of when Scooby’s crew were snorkelling off the Florida Keys when Scooby somehow caught his paw on some rather sharp coral trying to feel what same felt like ... but as Shaggy was snorkelling close by, he applied a cloth to the affected paw, and Scooby managed to heal “somewhat gradually.”

And probably a few more like that, well until closing time ensued.

And though there was no offer of a prize indicated for the best such ... Peter Potamus, in closing out the display of diving stories, explained that “nowhere else have I heard such crazier or more lovable diving stories” than exchanged in the snug of the tap room on such a rainy evening! (He should know: Peter Potamus happens to be quite a diver himself.)

*************

Speaking of Peter Potamus and his crew of divers, we found them one muggy afternoon on a pontoon close to the deepest spot on the lake (including their underwater photographer, Squiddly Diddly) with some Unlikely Diving Guests in form of the Cattanooga Cats, who, as its leader, Country, explained, “we thought amusing to take up, not so much out of ‘bucket list’ desires than just to try something new.”

Even its female lead, Kitty Jo, and her pet hound, Teeny Tim, “got into the act” to the surprise of the scuba party-loving hippo (”Who said Southern gals couldn’t dive anywhere but Florida way has certainly got to be wrong, explaining my willingness to go along with ‘the boys’ and take up the SCUBA bit”--Kitty Jo) ... which certainly surprised the lupine members of the dive party (as in Loopy De Loop, Hokey Wolf and Mildew Wolf, Hokey adding later “Just be grateful those Cattanooga Cats weren’t wasting their time finding catfish underwater!”--and prompting Scoots, the pint-sized virtuoso of as much insturments as storytelling, to remark “That wasn’t exactly our intent ... we just thought taking up diving might be an occasional experience in killing time!”, with Scoots adding some detail about how he found diving when a certain Amy Catline came into his life).

As if that weren’t enow, said Cattanooga Cats were named Honorary Divers with Peter Potamus’ All-Natural Diving Company, with the open invitation to join them again when they crossed paths. Which had Lippy the Lion remarking “I certainly hope our diving club isn’t going to the cats all of a sudden!”, bringing quite the laugh over some Sprecher Cream Soda.

*************

Talk about father-son bonding: Augie Doggie challenged his ever-so-doting Doggie Daddy to a race of sorts--Augie swimming underwater, Doggie Daddy on a paddleboard--from mid-lake to the resort’s beach, loser to pay for a Friday-evening fish fry at a tavern just up the road. (Still, just to be safe, Augie’s swimming was just beneath the surface and Doggie Daddy kept his distance on the paddleboard.)

At any rate, Augie’s sheer precocia and overactive nature won the race by at least two lengths on his father’s paddleboard, prompting Doggie Daddy to ask “Augie, Son of Sons!! How exactly was it possible for you to swim underwater as fast as you did?!!”

To which the Son of Sons responded, “Dearest Father ... I’ve been taking up some lessons in underwater swimming technique from one Breezly Bruin.”

“BREEZLY BRUIN--?!! Son of Sons, don’t tell me--”

“Yes, Father of Fathers ... THAT Breezly Bruin. He may be a little dumb, but you can get to liking him if only you made the effort.”

“Heh, heh, heh ... that was my son talking there!”

(At any rate, Doggie Daddy covered the fish fry, of which Augie managed to go through no less than four refills just to recover from such energy expenditure.)

*************

It’s not unusual for the back roads in the resort country of northern Minnesota to see their share of traffic heading to the resorts ... including an inline-skating run of the Skatebirds (Knock-Knock, Satchel and Scooter) one Saturday morning of some five miles to some chintzy-looking supper club of “the old school” essentially, such as was likely to be found in the resort country, hidden behind some pines from the highway.

And what was that all about?

For a weekend brunch buffet which certainly saw the likes of plenty others as a “surprise” party, including the ilk of Huckleberry Hound, Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole, Snagglepuss, the Hair Bear Bunch, Undercover Elephant and Loudmouse, Penelope Pitstop ... and, for good measure, The Banana Splits, who, by their admission, “were just passing through” on their way to an engagement Somewhere Near Duluth.

*************

Amongst some Adirondack chairs set in the shallows of the lake as sunset most vivid and beautiful reflected itself unto the lake, and over some Sprecher Puma Kola (well-chilled, mind you), Snagglepuss and Hair Bear were engrossing themselves in conversation while taking in the sunset and admiring just how spectacular it was.

“I just have to tell you, Snagglepuss,” Hair Bear exclaimed, “if Square Bear can pull off an Invisible Motorcycle, he can also pull off an Invisible Jet Ski!”

“Which,” Snagglepuss chimed in, “is rather rich, rather one for Ripley, even ... and yet, my ursine chum, how can it be possible?”

“I don’t know how he does it, Snagglepuss ... but he can pull it off faster than you can sing ‘The Minnesota Rowser’!” (Pause) “Yet, I admit there are times when Square Bear can get a little ahead of himself on that Invisible Jet Ski!”

“How so, Hair Bear?”

“So ahead of himself that he takes on that look suggesting a long-haul truck driver on amphetamines, supposedly heedless of any danger or risk inherent!”

“I just hope you’re not on amphetamines yourself ...”

“No, Snagglepuss ... we prefer getting our highs from what the French call the old joie de vivre, the joy of life!” (Pause) “Not to mention rather substantial appetites!”

“So I’ve heard,” as Snagglepuss let the last swig of Puma Kola trickle down his throat to appreciate such nuances of decaffeinated flavour in the face of a rather warm evening emergent. “Personally, I’d like to thank the folks who make that cola myself, maybe buy me a case or two even!”

To which Hair Bear chimed in with his own tasteful swig, “Hey, who wouldn’t? After all, the sun is setting rather beautifully ... the evening is barely young ... and what more could you ask for, aside from the thrill of discovering some misadventures from shortwave radio in the summertime?”

@warnerarchive @hanna-barbera-land @warnerbrosentertainment @hanna-barbera-blog @hanna-barberians

[spacebookettes]

Garden Centre

It was a hot day in the garden.. she was garden sitting for a friend. A giant waterproof bean bag in one cool corner: She collapsed in to it almost spilling her tall cold glass of sparkling water. She took a sip and noticed a droopy leaf. She’d been there two days, the owner had said “water when its hot.” She noticed another droopy leaf on another droopy plant. Though the flowers were bright in the sun shine. She took another sloshy sip. A leaf turned in the ever so slight breeze; it turned to face her and stayed in that position. The garden sitter sat the tall chill glass next to her and kept an eye out for insect drinkers. She noticed another droopy plant in a pot, the soil looked like the crumbs in the bottom of a toaster. She settled back in her shady position, marvelled at the bright shining flowers and thought to herself, I’ll water tonight. A desiccated branch snapped somewhere, though she couldn’t see it. The roses she noticed seemed to be all peering in her direction. Ha she amazed. Had they always been watching me like that? A wasp disappeared into a flower, she heard a struggled frantic buzzing... it never came out. She sipped a little sparkling water it dribbled down her chin onto her top, she giggled and looked up into the canopy craddling her from the scorching. A deranged face, made up of leaves, seems to peer back at her. A brown crusty leaf floated down toward her glass of sparkling water and just missed it’s opening and instead settled on the edge of a terracotta pot in a little spot of sunlight. She felt kind of sorry for it, curiously and brushed it into the shade. She took a giant gulp of the bubbly water. Another dry snapping came from behind her. She looked around and saw only garden wall and bushy tree trunks. A bird flew onto the house roof. It looked down at her, then looked at the perspiring glass beverage. The ferns were all turned to face her now, though she didn’t notice. The bird flew off. She sat back, stretched her legs out and dangled her toes just in the sunlight. A yellow petal drifted onto her little toe. Owww she snatched back her feet into the shadows. “did that petal bite me. Some of the branches seemed to be stretching and reaching down toward the cold water, almost touching the rim. Large droopy leaves looked sullen, not enough energy to turn their gaze all the way towards her. A decrepit old twig gently tapped her on the shoulder. She upturned her limbs and the glass beverage: It shattered and the water seeped into the below. Someone shouted Charizard "Charizard.. Charizard" with a whistle; faint sounds of hungry meowing could be heard moving. She looked down at the shards; the water had gone, all dried up, consumed. I'll get the hose out now then. As she unravelled the hosepipe into the centre of the small but lavish garden. Every leaf flower and branch seemed to be focused toward her. Birds started gathering on top of the garden boundary bushes. She turned on the hose, she’d been told to wet the soil not the leaves or they’ll scorch in the sunlight. She flooded the ground with full force water pressure. Every grey brown piece of dusty soil was soaked engorging for a good half hour. She stood there filling plant pots to the brim. The birds eyed the puddles, some were brave and dived into the hydration. Splashing, preening and drinking. The shrubbery seemed to swell, twice the garden seemed now to be here. She turned the hose on herself, drenched from head to foot she went back towards the house to change. She notice one Sunflower, smiling a seedy missing grin. And as she closed the door behind her, all the birds dived into the oasis.

The end

By Peter Stringer

OOOZ

 In one of the great Super Cities, one of the ones surrounded by a world of retaken by nature... in it’s bowels they say there’s a nightmare war being fought. Forces sent down to the colossal vats; vats that hold all the chemical waste no longer allowed back into nature. They say Things live in the vats.

It’s just stories to keep kids in the brighter upper areas; stories and also scientists are down there taking samples, trying to find uses for the black goo... they travel with armed guards, just in case.

 

By Peter Stringer

Daft Cow

Daft Cow was fully grown... at least in physical proportions. She liked to play with the other animals. Played chase still. The fox cubs on the farm, looked surprised to see a fully sized cow bow it’s front legs, turn it’s head and then friskily run after them around what was left of the meadow. The farm dogs liked to take it in turns to jump on her back, she stood proud for them and then chased them around the farm yard.

The owners of All Animal Farm fed the rescued chickens as a flash of cow hulk speeded past them, a furious goose behind chasing. Daft Cow tried to play with the free range chickens but they didn’t seem up to it. Their half feathered bodies had never seen a cow before and they scattered when this one dropped a bright orange ball before them. Daft Cow thought this was a game and scattered herself in the opposite direction, hid behind a tractor. The chickens didn’t come to find her. She sulked off to the great metal fence to look at the alligator. The alligator wasn’t allowed to be free range... somehow gator instincts remain intact, even when freed from the competition of survival.

All Animal Farm had a new arrival, a security goat from a scrap yard, she'd never walked on grass... Daft Cow showed her how. The goat kicked in the air so did Daft Cow knocking down a fence post keeping the fence up around the duck pond, a goose chased both of them to the other side of the meadow.

Daft Cow slid up to the tractor shed, she wasn’t allowed in there anymore. The goat was the look out. The daft cow wacked it’s bum on the lock mechanism. It cracked and Daft Cow sauntered backwards into the tractor shed. Two massive gleaming tractors, Daft Cow loved chasing them through the fields, but they sometimes ignored her. The goat was disgusted, how rude.

Daft Cow had a idea... they walked slowly to the trees, into the shade and to a large hole in the ground. Daft cow stuck her snout in the hole and bellowed the largest moo she could muster. Daft Goat did the same with a bleat. Scuffling barking, angry growling. Five adult badgers came raging out of the hole entrance the cow and the goat ran for it.

Daft cow showed Daft Goat the metal fence around the alligator. How she longed to play snap chase with the giant reptile. Daft Goat look unsure. The gator didn’t move, not in the least bit bothered by the playful duo.

Daft Cow stood proud at the top of the hilly paddock. Stood on her back was an impressed Daft Goat taking in the green scape scenery vantage: she'd never seen this many fields before. They looked down on the farm below them. The owners took a picture of the Daft animals on the hillside. This is perfect for the promotional material for our next funding drive.

Many hits the website with the Daft picture got. A year later the picture was taken again. A Daft cow and Daft Goat proud on a hill top., next to them was an older Daft Donkey... it’s eyes bright with mischief.

The end

By Peter Stringer

[fishbaited-blog]

About the mun

In general:

Real name: Aurelia

Nickname: Lusey or zonbiconbi. I’m chill with being called Kisa as well if that’s easier.

Age:  22

Sexuality:  Ace AF

Gender: Female

Are you a morning person?: HAH fuck that no

When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?: Given I live in Florida, I’d have to default to ocean. Everything else is full of gators. (I really do love the ocean though so I’d default to it anyways, but still)

On Tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: Yeah like 99% of the friends I make online

Anyone you have met in real life?: I met one person IRL who I made friends with online and convinced them to go to the same college as me, that was sweet. I also met two of my podcast buddies at a con, we like to get together to hang out now and then.

When did you first join? How old is your current account?: I... shit. I made my main late into 2011. So that’s when I started. That main is still active, too! This one here is three years old

Any peeves?: Chewing with your mouth open, talking over me to change the subject, rudeass people, the usual

Unpopular opinion: Pineapple tastes good on pizza fucking fight me m8.

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?: Unsure tbh

Do you easily get angry?:  Nah

Are you easy to cheer up?: I'm easily distracted and easily amused. So, yeah.

What’s the most hurtful thing someone could do to you?: Pretend to be my friend. Don’t do it????? if you dont like me just tell me dude I have the people reading skills of a brick.

What’s the most hurtful thing someone has done to you?: Oh man I could tell you but it’d warrant its own post because it severely fucked up how I talk to people and scared me out of TWO fandoms at once.

Are you good at hiding your emotions?: LOL no

What’s the very best way to cheer you up?: Write with me. Tell me I’m right. Food.

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?:  Nope

Do you currently have a crush on someone?: Nope!

If yes, might that someone be reading this?: No!!!

Do you kiss on the first date?: What part of ace does this post not understand lmao

Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?: If I ever meet somebody I’d want to date, tbh I’m down for both. Staying home with video games or having a beach/movie day is totally chill.

Things:

Favorite drink: I’m a fucking sucker for Root Beer, but if I need a chill out drink it’s Hard Cider

Favorite food: Pork Belly, Potstickers, Nabeyaki Udon, etc. I can also make a killer curry katsudon that I really love :P

Most calming place?: My room at 1 in the morning, snuggled up in blankets and drawing.

Most stressful place?: Where I work now. I’m so fucking tired of closing. Please let me rest... please.

Most prized possession?: My big desktop computer Shockwave, probably. I built him. He is my son. And he has all my video games and all my animation software... either that, or my life sized gator plushie I use for a body pillow. Had it for like 15 years at this point. His name is Sumo.

Tag some people (if you want to):

TAGGED BY: @desertgourd​

TAGGING: whoever wants to do it IDK fam

[geek-gem]

Alright so I just wanna make this. Because been thinking more about Ralph 2.0 and Lizzie 2.0 for that Rampage 2 idea. Especially some stuff has changed but not a whole lot in some ways. Mostly wanna make this because before I make a fake synopsis(With a monster list too) for a fake movie. Basically these are my interpretations of Ralph and Lizzie if they came back in a way in a sequel to 2018′s Rampage. Including I’m going with the idea the trio has human companions and it’s some what a weird reference the game’s original material where the monsters were humans. Especially these also gives the monsters more character in a sense. 

Along with the fact I was looking up name meanings for these humans. To give them more meaning which sounds ridiculous I should just make this it’s 4:21 am started at 4:20 I guess or 19 meh.

Spoilers from the 2018 Rampage movie though in case.

Ralph(Ralph 2.0) and Darlene Howard: A 8 month old Gray Wolf taken in by Wolf Watch UK. He was found by Darlene when a group of poachers were arrested. She found the pup laying next to it’s dead mother, even though he knew she was dead. Ever since Darlene rescued him, the two had this relationship. As the wolf grew up, it was almost like the wolf imprinted on her, seeing her as a mother figure. Especially being protective of her if anything meant harm to the woman.

Actually considered a, “Sweetheart” by Darlene because of his rather softness around folks despite him being a wolf. She admits while taking care of him, she considers him a son in a sort of way. Especially that nurturing him must of had him turned out this way. During this time she was humorously dubbed the, “Mother Of Wolves”.

Affected by the same pathogen made by Energyne some how. Growing in size similar to the original Ralph, gaining flight/gliding abilities, and even quills that can shoot out of his tail. Along with the fact being scared, confused, and more aggressive than usual. But compared to the original Ralph, this one was different. Due to being taken care of nearly since it’s birth. He retained his memories, especially didn’t kill any of the wolves he was living. The only way he was able to calm down was by being talked to by Darlene, recognizing the woman he was more calm.

Now considered one of the animals affected by this pathogen which was becoming a problem over the world. Luckily Ralph was able to take vials of the serum that eliminate the enhanced aggressiveness before it got worse. He’s almost in a way a giant dog. But will get violent if any harm comes to Darlene. Whether it be human or a monster. Especially over time Ralph realizes that Darlene isn’t the only sort of family he will protect. 

Darlene Howard played by Emilia Clarke.

Lizzie(Lizzie 2.0) and Gabriel Evans: A 7 year old American Alligator that resides in Florida. At the age of 2, nearly dying by the hands of poachers until they were stopped, her family gone. The man was able to keep the Gator living till proper care was given to her. Now living in a sanctuary for most of her life. 

Despite being an apex predator, Lizzie is rather chill, in fact mostly a loner. Yet one human she seems to trust the most is Gabriel. While still a wild animal, it’s likely after her near death experience, the Gator retains those memories of the man keeping her alive. 

In fact the relationship that seems to be based on respect. Including she doesn’t mind it that he gets close in the water with her. Even though like other Gators living with her, she’ll get interested if there are more splashes. But Gabriel is as careful as he can be.

As Gabe took care of the Gator. He tries to make it look like his relationship with Lizzie isn’t really all that special. That she is just a animal he takes care of. Despite he may joke around quite a bit, but also being professional. His relationship to the Gator grew over the years. 

With Lizzie affected by the pathogen as well. Getting too big for her place. In fact gaining the same abilities as the original Lizzie had, growing bigger, more teeth, and a clubbed tail. Very similar to the American Crocodile that was affected but this time a American Alligator. Considering both are Crocodilian. But similar to Ralph, her being nurtured must of slowed down the aggressiveness, in time for that to be eliminated by the serum. 

Including even now huge, she still retained that loner personality of keeping to herself. With the only human she’ll get close to Gabe, and some what Davis, who she has seen before.

Even though Gabe acts as if he doesn’t have a personal relationship with Lizzie. As time goes on, and a situation arises that threatens everyone and possibly Lizzie. It turns out he really does care for the Gator. In a weird way he some what considers the Gator to be a daughter in a way to him. Even when revealing this to others like Davis and Darlene.

Including during this development, both Gabriel and Lizzie will realize the meaning of defending your family of some sorts. No matter how dangerous or impossible it seems.

Gabriel Evans played by Chris Pratt.

Notes: Originally I was gonna have Darlene be an old friend of Davis. But decided to have Gabriel instead. Including Dwayne Johnson and Chris Pratt interacting would probably be fun as hell.

Also yeah I changed Lizzie 2.0 to an American Alligator. It’s still consistent in a way but I changed her to something I guess I’m more familiar with. Especially with American Alligators more common I think. She would basically have the same design but with a different shaped snout than the last Lizzie.

Tags dealt with, I’ve been listening to, “Saved” from Rampage 2018 for this whole thing if I recall. It’s 5:20 am I’m gonna go to bed now.

[mooberg]

Courage

So Larka and I were running through a scenario (as you do) and she mentioned Horns needs to have more courage. Work stopped me from explaining why that’s all too true, and then inspiration hit. This is a hell of a lot of backstory, but I’m proud of it.

In this fic I reference 2 of my older fics, Aftershock and Revelations and Waterfalls. Enjoy!

Warnings: nah you good

Word Count: 1978 (so close to 2000!)

Sometimes... a lot of the time actually, I wish I had more confidence.

I never had any when I was younger. From the day Eniko brought him home, Horns could feel their judging eyes. They looked at him and all they saw was gossip. "That mystic lady has a kid?" "Who's the kid with the horns?" "What's her name? Eniko? She probably stole him or something." "Should we be worried?" Sure, they weren't all bad. Some people could care less who or what he was, his mother too, but it was those who did care that got to him. "I don't want these." Horns said, hands covering his ears as he pouted up at his momma. "Which set of 'these'?" Eniko picked him up, balancing him on her hip. She took his hand in hers, twining their fingers together. "Is it these?" "No." Horns replied. "Well, what about these?" Eniko pinched his nose and he pulled away, a little less pouty. "No, momma." "These?" She tickled his feet and he giggled, trying to squirm out of her grasp.

"No. These." Horns covered his ears again. "Sheppard says her momma says they mean I'm weird." "Why would she say that?" Eniko prodded gently, walking into the kitchen. "I dunno she says her momma says it made me a... a... um-" "Sound it out." She encouraged as she filled up the kettle and placed it on the stove. "Dee...vee... ant... she says it's bad. She says her momma didn't look happy." Horns wrapped his arms around Eniko's neck. "I don't wanna be a dee-vee-ant." "You're not." Eniko said, rubbing his back. She paused, opening the cupboard and waiting for him to pick a mug. "You are Horns. That makes you special, but not a deviant." "But Sheppard said-" "If Sheppard told you the Hawthorn manor wasn't haunted, would you believe her?" "No..." "Then why would you let her tell you who you are?" "Because everyone looks at me weird." Horns' already small voice sounded smaller. "Do you think you're weird?" Eniko asked. "Yeah..." Horns replied. "Alright." Eniko placed him on the counter, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "I'll work some magic and find a solution, okay?" "Okay."

I've been able to put myself out there, yeah. 4:30. He had a meeting all the way across the campus at 4:30 and it was already 4:28. He wasn't going to make it. He hated being late. It was so embarrassing. "Come on, come on." He'd already used the short bursts of speed he had, now it was all down to pure speed. And endurance. Why on earth was this campus so big? He stopped to check his pocket watch. 4:40. Great. But the building he was heading for wasn't that much further off, he could see it in fact. In another minute or three he reached it. He paused at the doors. Inside were the people he'd been chosen to train with, live with, grow with, and here he was, hesitant and already late. What if they didn't like him? He wasn't making the best first impression. What if they saw through his hoodie and judged him like everyone back home had? He came to the Academy and to Dashland for a fresh start. He didn't want to end up alone again. He pushed through the front doors. Only one way to find out. "Hey! You're here!" A small cat virus greeted him when she answered his knock at the door. "H-hi. Sorry I'm late." Horns replied. "Don't worry about it." The girl waved him off. "Come on, come meet everyone." Horns simply nodded, following her into the dorm apartment. The 'everyone' she was referring to were all seated on comfy looking couches and armchairs. They looked nice enough, though the girl with big hair looked a little... intense. "He's finally here!" The cat virus singsonged. There was a smattering of various greetings from the group. "Hi everyone. Um..." Horns rubbed his neck nervously. "Sorry I'm late." "Don't even worry about it." Another cat virus, a... really cute black cat, assured him. "You just missed the dude who's gonna take us to meet our mentor tomorrow. Apparently she's a 99er." The first girl gently nudged him towards a seat, and he took it in shock. "Do you know which one?" Horns asked, trying to contain his excitement. "Uh..." "Tungsten said her name was Gamma." The only other guy on the team, a gator virus with an impressively fancy hat, offered when the cat virus failed to remember. "I'm Callow by the way." "Oh right. Glitch." The black cat virus followed suit. Horns took note of the others' names as they introduced themselves, buzzing with excitement over his new mentor. Wing Cannon Gamma. He couldn't believe it. "So you got a name, or should we just call you late guy?" Peony asked. Horns chuckled. "Oh god, anything but that." He smiled around at the group. "I'm Horns. Horns Khaos."

But whenever I get cornered, I tend to bolt. “You wanted a day off that badly?” Psi asked, the venom barely there, but sticking out in his voice clear as day to a Horns in crisis. “Fine. You are dismissed. I have to go tend to this anyways.”

The crazy flora that had taken siege on the training field slowly began to dissipate as Psi walked away, lowering Equo to the ground before retreating. Horns simply watched him go. He felt numb, unsure exactly how he was supposed to react. It wasn’t until a hand clapped him on the back that he noticed his team had rushed up to him.

They were ecstatic. They’d actually done it! They’d beaten Plant Dad! Horns on the other hand flinched away from Callow’s hand on his back, silently moving away from the group. He heard their cheering halt as his team looked upon him anew, concern in their eyes, and their voices, but he was barely hearing them. He mumbled something about going for a walk, not really sure if the team heard him but not really caring either, and took off into the forest that surrounded the field. He used his speed as an added measure, making sure the team wouldn’t follow.

I guess it's better than shutting down. "Psi?" Horns called, knocking lightly on the door to his office as it swung open. "Peony wants to know if you're staying for dinner." The office was empty, the desk lamp still on, but casting useless light. He had to be in the other room. Horns paused at the door. Psi was probably asleep. Should he wake the 99er? He pushed the door open. The inside was dark, the light shining through the door illuminating his mentor's sleeping form. Against his better judgment, Horns approached the futon. In the dim light he caught sight of an old, but surprisingly vivid, scar running down Psi's bare upper arm. Horns closed his eyes against the memory. The shared memory. He knew exactly where that scar, and the others hidden beneath clothes and blankets, had come from. For a moment, Horns could almost feel the drills again, just as he had so clearly during his very first mind dive. He opened his eyes, wiping at them with one hand as the other reached out against his will. He gently traced down the length of the scar. "I'm sorry." Psi began to stir, pulling his arm ever so slightly away from Horns' touch, and suddenly the Satyr found himself balking under the angry yellow eyes of his mentor. He tried to move away, but Psi grabbed his wrist with impressive speed. "What are you doing?" The 99er asked. Horns tried to pull away, but found himself very much stuck in place. That was some grip. "Nothing. Sorry." Psi simply raised an eyebrow at him. Horns looked away. But that didn't stop the chill he could practically feel from Psi's gaze. "If you try that again, I might forget just how much I like you." He gave Horns' wrist a gentle squeeze, just a simple warning, and let him go. The Satyr pulled his arm away like he'd been burned. Still not making eye contact, he turned and headed out the way he came. He paused at the door to murmur another quiet apology before shutting it. "There you are." Peony met him just outside Psi's office. "I was wondering what was taking you so long. Is he staying?" "No." Horns sighed. "I don't think he is." "You okay?" Peony's tone softened upon noticing her friend's distress. "M'fine." He shouldered past her, heading quickly into his room.

But still. Sometimes I really wish I were someone else. Not... me. Someone with confidence. But... no. I'm better than I used to be. "Hey freak!" Horns looked up from his book. "H-hi Clay." "You know where you are, cow?" Clay leaned over him, making Horns shrink in his seat. Horns glanced around at the rest of his class eating lunch. "Uh... the cafeteria?" "You're in our spot." Clay's cronies behind him all made sounds of reinforcement. "What?" Horns looked around wildly. "No! You guys always sit-" "Didn't you hear me freakoid?" Clay hissed. "Get. Out." Horns ducked his head with a sniffle, gathering up his stuff as fast as possible. "Hurry it up, cow boy." Clay gave his shoulder a shove. He'd miscalculated his strength against Horns' size, however, and sent the smaller virus tumbling back in his chair, hitting the ground hard. Tears began to form in Horns' eyes as his bully simply laughed down at him. He had to get out of here. He didn't even care about lunch anymore, he simply grabbed his schoolbag and took off, easily dodging past the teacher that tried to stop him.

I do still think I'm weak. "Dude. Calm down." Callow soothed. "I can't." Horns paced in front of him. "I hate this. I hate this. I came here for a fresh start. So how come I'm exactly the same person here as I was back home?" "Because you're you." Callow said. "Well I wish I wasn't." Horns shot back. "I've put myself out there hundreds of times. You've seen how many times I've come home late smelling like sex. So why is it when things get real I just immediately back down? What's wrong with me? I want to stop being such a coward. I want to be stronger. So why can't I just get there?" "It takes time!" Callow responded. "Something like that's not just going to happen overnight!" "Yeah." Horns scoffed. "More like it's not going to happen at all."

But I find strength through my friends. “I… guess it’s time I told you.” Horns started. “I’m not what you think I am.”

“Geez. Dramatic Horns is dramatic.” Glitch joked, earning Jolly’s elbow in her side.

“I’m serious, Glitch. I… I’m not a bull virus.” Horns reached up hesitantly, pulling off his hood. At first the team was confused as to what this ‘reveal’ was supposed to mean, but slowly it clicked. Horns didn’t have cow ears. He had human ears. “I’m a Satyr.”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Jolly asked.

“Satyrs… Fauns… Woodland Spirit viruses… they don’t have the… best reputation. We’re considered 'sexual deviants’ and a bunch of other things I’ve chosen to ignore. It was always just… easier to be seen as a bull virus than a Satyr.”

~

“Wait, you guys are okay with… with this, aren’t you?” As he asked it, he reached for his hood, possibly intending to pull it up if they weren’t.

The team glanced between each other before setting their breakfast aside and tackle hugging him on the sand.

Horns smiled, blinking back relieved tears. “Thanks guys.”

With them beside me, I know I can be better. I can face anything.

I will find my courage.

[stabbyarm]

Kay disappeared at noon. It was a hot thursday, heavy and sticky - they’d driven through the night for the past two days, had only woken her at dawn to toss her the keys to a peeling, sun-bleached motel. When she’d stepped into the room’s muggy shade, a cockroach crunched beneath her shoe. The air conditioning wheezed like a 70 year old smoker with a tube in his lungs, a metronome of dripping water beating against the faded cracked ivory plastic of the grotty shower. “Nice place,” she’d muttered as they followed, cradling Freya still asleep in their arm. They hadn’t answered. They were far from the most talkative and open person she’d ever met, so she barely noticed their sudden coldness, their grouchiness, the shortening of their temper: though to them these things screamed from every part of their being. The few words they exchanged were sharp. When they thought she wasn’t looking, she caught them glancing anxiously out of the window coated in a shroud of splattered bugs. She excused it as exhaustion - the road hadn’t just worn down the tires. When they weren’t back by 3, she began to wonder. She tried to burst the bubble of anxiety that had formed, but it lodged itself at the base of her throat, made her mind race with a hundred impossible scenarios. It wasn’t fear for them, exactly, but the uncertainty uneased her. At 5, her concern began to chill; by 7 it had fully become distrust. At 9 she could no longer be subdued by the glow of the television, snatched up their keys with gritted teeth and stormed out to the truck. Flickering busted red and blue neon coloured the car park, everything else bled grey by buzzing orange street lamps. The air was thick, heavy with screeching insects and the distant croaking of sleepy gators. The truck was totally empty, its cracked leather seats bare aside from their jacket, slumped carelessly onto the passenger seat. She snorted; she’d half expected to find them asleep in there, would have found it as cathartic as easy to yell at them for being selfish and making her worry even for a second. She opened the door anyway, as if they might have been hiding beneath the crushed soda cans at the foot of the seats. The electric yellow of the reception beckoned her from the cracked wing mirror. She spun too quickly, glowered at it as if it was hiding the secrets of the universe from her. Lowering her hood and her temper, she stalked towards it. Behind the desk was a redheaded teenager with more acne than clear skin. She gave him a plastered smile. “Hey, so, my buddy went out a while ago and was supposed to come back with beers, did you see them at all?” His expression was as vacant as the sign advertised. She clicked her tongue, gestured awkwardly at her right elbow. “Only has one arm?” His eyes lit up. “Oh!” He yelled, a little too excitedly. “With the-” he his hand curled into a faint claw as he waved it across his face, but he seemed to suddenly remember better of himself, and stopped and blanched mid sentence. Nix nodded. “Said they were looking for a lake? To like, go fishing or something. So I, uh, gave them a leaflet about the swamp.” “The swamp.” She said flatly. The kid stood up from his chair and pointed past her, to a distant gathering of stretched trees, cast black and blue in the moonlight. “Yeah, people go there sometimes when they stay here. Tourists mostly.” “Why.” “I don’t know man. But if you wanna go look for your friend you should wait till morning. There’s gators out there. And stuff.” “Uh huh.” When she finally found them, she told herself as she snatched a heavy flashlight from the glove compartment, locked the door to the room and told Freya not to wait up, she was going to fucking kill them. The swamp was smaller than it felt, as she picked her way through the winding rotten wooden path. Even now the stagnant water made the air muggy and her skin crawl. She imagined herself zipped into someone’s unwashed week old gym bag. Too pissed to be afraid she crept around sleeping toads and lizards, through clouds of whining mosquitoes. In the last hours she’d accidentally convinced herself that Kay had set them up. She hadn’t intended to and she’d grasped onto her conviction that there was an honest reason for their abrupt disappearance. But it seemed that at the first sign of uncertainty the strangeness of the situation had overwhelmed her and that, despite their willingness to shoulder as much of the burden as they could, she couldn’t trust someone that she barely knew. She had nothing to confirm or deny this, really, other than the rising hostility that she could suddenly blatantly remember. ‘Treacherous brute,’ Xeu had called them, and though she felt no warmth towards him, in their absence she was beginning to believe it. She must have walked just over a mile when she saw it in the distance, an abandoned cabin sagging under the weight of rot. In the collapsed window flickering candlelight cast long dancing shadows across the still murky water. She could hear their gruff breathing from the doorway, deep and rattling - they were slumped over the arm of a gutted sofa, writhing very slowly. At their feet were the grease stained wrappers of enough cheeseburgers to feed a family of six, countless cans that they’d crushed into coins in their stress. There was something else too, not quite crying but a soft whimpering, a cutting animal noise. Not noticing her they twitched, curled into themself like they were trying to drag themself into sleep. The bittersweet relief of actually finding them propelled her forwards, unlatched the door to her fury. “What the fuck is this?” Her shout flung them to their feet with a yell of surprise. They glared at her frantically, staggering until they found their balance. They stared at her like they’d never seen her before - she could almost hear their heartbeat fluttering in their throat - their limbs locking like a spring trap, ready to snap to action at the slightest feather touch. “What are you doing here?” they stammered. Their voice was low, shaken - their eyes, rubbed raw, flickered to the shattered windows, peered into the night’s fog, waiting, just waiting, for something vast and dark to leap out at them. “What am I doing here?” The tremor of rage that contorted her face for a second made them visibly flinch. Their hand shot to cradle their head, soothe their throbbing temples - the effort with which they clenched their teeth coloured their cheeks bright crimson. Sweat gleamed on their forehead - how much shit must they have shot into themself to get here. Their groan twisted from their core like they were being ripped in two. Just for a second, a deep cold fear tapped her on the shoulder, and she felt the colour drain from her face. “I’m s- I’m sorry-” Kay choked like they’d punctured a lung - their knuckles blanched at the collar of their shirt, hot tears left slick paths down their cheek. Their eye twitched, vision faltered for a second. “No,” they strained. Fought not to collapse as a bout of pain hit them like a stone mallet to the ribs. For the first time in hours, she actually felt a moment of doubt. Of overwhelming pity. Suddenly she couldn't shake the feeling that she’d backed them onto a cliff edge, that at any second they might throw themself off and pull her down with them. She took a step towards them, softened her voice; “Hey, you’re-” “No,” they roared - like someone had just torn out their heart. Their eyes were wild, though not with the hot rage that coloured hers - angry, yes, but wide, blanched with terror. As she watched, the copper in their russet skin drained to sickly tan. “You shouldn’t be here,” they murmured, their frightened whisper catching on the roughness of their throat. Even as they cowered away from her, they seemed bigger, their shape strangely distended. They swatted her away as she stepped toward them, whole body trembling violently. They looked as if they might throw up at any second. Dark crimson swelled at their nose, between the tight line of their lips - they dashed it away quickly with the back of their hand. It wasn’t until they sank to their knees, fighting an eye watering yell of agony as if they’d bound their own throat with coarse rope to suppress it that she stopped. The last of her broiling rage evaporated, left only the cold heavy dregs of fear deep in her gut. Ragged breaths like shredded leather shuddered from them as they curled forward, buried their face in their hand. In their locked grimace she could see the sharpening of their teeth, the swelling of their jaw, the awful crunching of their ribs. “Please,” they sobbed. Their hand pulsed, bones stretching sickeningly beneath their skin, their nails morphing into obsidian claws. Instinct told her to step away but some primal fear had rooted her in place. Her muscles seized as if encased in ice, her breaths shallow and silent in her lungs, as if any noise would summon the beast clawing its way out of them. A thunder-crack snap fired from their spine like a rifle and they threw their head back. Blood seeped from their snarl as it stretched. Bristling, tar black fur burst through their dark skin like needles into a pincushion. With every tiny, fine movement it seemed another three of their bones would crack like the lash of a long whip. She would have given anything, anything at all, to not have had to hear them scream again. And there was nothing she could do but watch. As they swelled into something that had haunted her nightmares since she was a child, all she could do was stand there and watch, unsure of when her heart had last beaten. Even if you pressed her she couldn’t tell you how long she had stared then, paralysed. How long it had been until the wretched snapping had stopped, or the wailing, how long until that unleashed body had risen to its full size, with its rippling ebony fur and steel muscles. How, even missing an arm it had consumed every millimetre of her vision as it stood in that corner, racked only by the volume of breath in its newly stretched lungs. The point of its ear twitched at the shortness of her breath- the other, scarred, half torn, flattened instantly. It turned its snout slightly; foaming drool oozed from between the locked knives of its teeth, black nose glistening. Its nostrils flared flesh pink at her scent and a low growl seeped from it at the periphery of her hearing. Claws like iron scraped against the dusty concrete, left trails of red between the fragments of their clothes, the last scrapped evidence of their humanity. Now, finally, as it turned to look at her she found the strength to back away, though fear had left her body numb and trembling. With each step she took a long breath, and though it rattled viciously and her eyes pricked somehow it stopped her from descending into panic. A breath in and out as her feet found their way towards the collapsed doorway. In and out as the beast that was once Kay stalked slowly towards her, their huge body arched, their teeth curved like scimitars. She thought of turning to run; even this gave the furnace of her imagination enough fuel that she could feel its teeth around her neck, feel its claws rip into her back, see its awful snout drip hungrily with her blood. It was close enough that she could feel its breath, hot as an oven, metallic and bitter. The same scars patterned its muzzle that cascaded over their face, raw hairless strips of leathery skin that buckled, swollen and ridged through its fur. One orange eye blazed, the hollow blackness of its huge pupil seeming to suck the light from the weathered room. The other, glazed and milky, stared at her dispassionately. Cold. Distant. If it killed her now, she wondered for a second, would Kay remember? Any hope of reason vanished in the haze of their lifeless right eye. Would they remember how she tasted? Her fingers found the cold weight of a key in her pocket. Folding it between her knuckles, she thought about the taste of her own blood. Her back met the faded brick wall with a soft thud. To her left, the chill of night air caressed her cheek, the ghost of a lover’s touch. Her arm tensed. Her fist balled around that key as if, in all conceivable senses of the phrase, her life depended on it. For the first time in many, many years, she found herself praying. Begging God not to let her miss. Fortunately, He obliged. The force of her punch drove the key sharply into their eye. Perhaps if they’d had both of their arms it might have ended differently, but they reeled far enough away from her that she could tear away, that even when they recovered she was far out of their reach. The night burned like hot coals in her lungs as she sprinted back through the knotted trees. She could hear nothing but the sound of her ragged breathing, feel nothing but the thick embrace of the night and the raw burning in her thighs. Nevertheless she ran, through stinging tears and twisting nausea, though dust-dry retching in her throat until there were no more trees, until she was past the first dimly lit byroads and into the neon safety of the motel. Only there in the car park did she sink to her knees and allow herself to sob, settle the contents of her stomach onto the cool tarmac, to shake violently until the terror had passed. The concierge’s shadow stretched curiously from the reception. Scooping herself from the ground she hurried to the plywood door, shut it definitely behind her. The rickety bed engulfed her kindly, like a warm but reassuring embrace from a stranger and, finally safe, she cried like a child until sleep took her. It was even good enough to spare her the nightmares. When she woke in the morning she still felt drained, like the mattress had pulled all of the energy from her. Behind the curtains and to her surprise, the bloody yolk of the sun was only beginning to peek above the horizon. Her eyes felt as if they’d been buried in sand and slotted back into her skull; her well worn clothes clung to her limply, like a bandaid come unstuck in a pool. Yellow light crept below the bathroom door - Freya still slept, curled up in the centre of her bed. Icy anxiety knotted her stomach again as she put her palm to the flimsy door. She half expected to find a corpse. Kay sat naked in the basin of the shower, though they were greased with enough dirt, sweat and blood that they couldn’t possibly have felt it. A cigarette barely hung from their split dry lips, its smoke listing lazily around their head. Their right eye was bluebottle-purple, two scarlet crescents looped beneath their eyes, so violently vibrant they might as well have been raw gashes. They didn’t seem to have been able to reach the shower - their tangled hair was slick with sweat. She had no way of knowing how long they’d sat there but it seemed as if they’d become a permanent fixture. Even their breath barely seemed to move them. The soles of their feet were caked with dark earth. A sliver of amber moved beneath their swollen eyelid. One slow blink and their jaw clenched weakly, their head drooped and they swallowed something sour back down that had risen in their throat. Nix felt the silence ache to be broken, not out of embarrassment but something else - simultaneously, she absolutely couldn’t look at them, but couldn’t look away. It was impossible not to think of the Wolf, but it was as absent as it was so clearly conspicuous. Looking at them now, so thoroughly shattered, she would have wondered if it ever existed. Her voice was rough as she found her words, sounded as if it might break at any second though she had wrung every tear from her eyes. “Kay, I-” she began, but they tightened their lips, shook their head faintly. “I am so, so sorry,” they said. A soft, involuntary gasp escaped her; she had forgotten that they had a voice, and, in its calm, broken tenderness, realised she had also forgotten their humanity. “I should have told you. I thought you knew. I could have killed you, I-” Their skin paled suddenly, their hand rising to their mouth as if they might throw up. Deftly it drifted to their bloodshot eyes, snatched away the spilling acid tears with a sharp frown. Pinkish liquid trickled from their stained nose. Nix pinched the bridge of her nose. “I shouldn’t have followed you, I’m sorry,” she groaned. Looking at them, she couldn’t help but feel responsible, felt that she had somehow weighed in on their pain. “No,” they croaked. They could do nothing now to stop the leaking from their eyes, to repress their torn weeping. “No, this is not your fault.” They shook their head, breathed through gritted teeth. “I can’t- I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. Please, I-” She pressed the door closed behind her, took their hand as she crouched in front of them. She could feel her own heart rending itself in two as their eyes met hers, had to do something to calm the wrenching pain in her chest. “Kay, you didn’t - didn’t do anything wrong,” clasping their hand between hers, she silenced them before they could even begin to protest. “Following you put us both in danger. I should have trusted you. You’re not a bad person.” Her words were a twist to the knife already in them, brought them forward only into more distress. Their head nudged against her shoulder and she brought them into a careful embrace as she reassured them again, cradling their body against hers and pressing her cheek softly to the top of their head. Crying in her arms, they whispered a thousand apologies until their throat seized. Seeing them now she couldn’t believe she’d ever been afraid. Though when she closed her eyes she saw the wolf, its hulking form and cruel features, she felt their hand on her back, as gentle as the tremors which now faded from them. She helped them carefully to their feet, propped their leaden deadweight against the cracked tiled wall. When they pulled their hand from their face it was again covered in ruby blood. They sneered their distaste, asked her quietly for a towel. “Let me help you,” she said softly, fingertips brushing the swelling that coloured the right side of their face with a wince and a twist of guilt. “I’ll be alright,” they answered. They didn’t even have the energy to make it believable. “Shut up,” she smiled wryly. The shower’s heat had returned a little colour to their skin. They no longer stank of rust, sweat and rancid earth, and though still swollen, hoarse and sore, there was barely a sign that they were or had ever been anything other than entirely human. Clutching a faded sandstone towel around their waist they sat and pointed to the open cuts and scrapes that they’d accumulated through the night as Nix quickly sealed them with surgical tape. None were too deep - they showed her the raised puffy lines of those gouges they’d had to hastily sew shut themself, traced the lines of long scratches, puncture wounds made by teeth like kitchen knives. “We’re not exactly nice to each other,” they joked lightly, but it made them blush a little. As she held a chunk of the ice she’d wrapped in one of their t-shirts to their swollen eye they yelped, cursed and settled into a low groan. “Can you see okay?” she asked, wincing with them. She didn’t think she’d ever hurt anyone this badly before. It played again and again in her mind - the hardness of their skull as she’d driven the metal into it. The heat of their jet fur, the blood throbbing just beneath its surface. She didn’t want to ask if they remembered but was certain they could sense her guilt; every now and then they’d smile warmly, reassuringly, though it was strange to look at, their sad eyes glinting in the net of scars, beneath the bruise that had puffed up like a baseball mitt, the broken slant of their crooked smile. “No, but it’ll be fine. It doesn’t hurt so badly any more. It’s already starting to go down, see?” Carefully they laid her cool fingertips against the shining skin, closing their eyes as they leaned into her touch. Her breath caught as their fingers trailed down smoothly over the back of her hand and fell back into their lap. When they opened their eyes again she couldn’t meet them; their softness made something shiver in her core, inched up her spine like a silvery spider along a frozen pipe. Curiously their thumb found her cheek, traced a thread of red that she didn’t even know was sore. “Did I do this?” they murmured. She almost wanted to laugh at the hurt in their voice which was so blatantly misplaced - like they couldn’t have ripped her throat out in one movement. As if she hadn’t rammed a key into their eye. Slowly, delicately, they leaned forward and pressed their lips to her cheek - though dry and cracked they were soft and so, so gentle; so careful in their movement that she could feel their pulse, the raised white scar that split them unevenly. It froze and melted her in a second and by the time her shattered thoughts had pieced themselves back together she had taken their head in her hands and kissed them deeply. Their startled gasp tasted as warm, sweet and spiced as a winter wood fire, their lips tender and giving beneath hers. She could feel the sharp points of their teeth pry at her lower lip, the very tip of their tongue briefly flicker against hers. Their hand slipped into her short hair. She shivered as their fingers traced the lines of her skull. When they broke away, each gasping for breath, they were drawn back together immediately by some powerful invisible magnetism. Each gentle demand she made from them they reciprocated instantly, eagerly, only shaken by the faintest nervous tremor. Her lips left theirs, but now they had started something together it couldn’t easily be stopped. The tension that had been brewing between them had suddenly been smashed, like someone had taken a crowbar to a pane of glass the size of a skyscraper - now the shards were embedded so sweetly in her skin the bleeding wouldn’t stop until Kay had removed every single one of them with their bared teeth. Their hungry kisses followed her jaw, the hot line of her jugular, over the stained copper ink of her tattoo, down to the smooth ridge of her collarbone. She breathed their name as they tasted her, ran their teeth over her throat. This couldn’t conceivably end well and she knew it; but in that moment Kay would have done anything for her - and, for better or worse, she was absolutely going to let them.

[cookingforguys-blog]

MACARONI SALAD

It's football Saturday, and I am excited. The Gators take on Tennessee, and Ball State is hosting U.A.B.

For those of you in a vacuum, our state had a rough week, with a major hurricane riding up the peninsula and causing MAJOR damage. In preparation for this event, most of the football games were canceled last weekend. Needless to say, a half time meal was not on our radar.

I am happy to report that we weathered the storm well, and were without power for only 24 hours. A neighbor shared his generator with us, so at least we had hot coffee and a cold fridge. Many of our friends did not fair as well. It will be a long time before they all recover.

That being said, we all needed a fun day to take our minds off of the destruction. And in Florida, that means COLLEGE FOOTBALL !!

Today we have a 3 PM game, (BALL STATE) and of course the big one at 3:30 as Florida tries to bounce back from the Michigan loss two weeks ago.

SO we are doing two recipes. One for Macaroni Salad and the other for Loose Meat Sandwiches.

First, lets get the Salad ready. Here is what you need.

8 OZ ELBOW MACARONI

1/2 CUP CHOPPED CELERY

2 TBL CHOPPED ONION

1/3 CUP CHOPPED GREEN PEPPER

3 HARD BOILED EGGS (CHOPPED)

1 TBL PICKLE RELISH

1/4 TSP GROUND CELERY SEED

MAYO TO TASTE

Keep in mind, these amounts can be adjusted to the size of your crowd, and you individual tastes.

This recipe was more than enough for the two of us.

This is one of my favorite summer time meals and works well for a fall football afternoon. And it's easy as pie.

You should make this ahead of time, so it has time to get good and chilled by halftime.

BOIL THE MACARONI

CHOP ONIONS, PEPPERS, CELERY & EGGS

WHEN MACARONI IS DONE,  DRAIN AND RINSE

MIX MACARONI WITH MAYO

ADD ONIONS, PEPPERS, CELERY, AND CELERY SEED

MIX.

ADD EGGS AND MIX GENTLY

ADD MORE MAYO , IF NEEDED

REFRIGERATE

Now, you should have a beer.

See how easy that was? Why buy that salad made at the store? Full of sugar, salt and preservatives?

No, I say MAKE IT YOURSELF !!!

Next up,  LOOSE MEAT !!!!!

GO CARDS AND GATORS !!!!   SEE YOU AT HALF TIME