#being queer yourself just opens your eyes to the little nuances of EVERYTHING

[lay1306]

Listen, I always try to be very mindful of keeping my wild fandom mind and reality properly separated and not become ACTUALLY insane about a ship, but as a 30 year old queer I feel like I must say that there is no way that what jikook are doing isn't an actual gradual soft launch. As someone who has the tiniest bit of actual life experience now, I just don't see how their dynamic and chemistry could NOT be read as romantic. Are they coworkers? yes. Are they best friends? yes. But it's pretty obvious there something even deeper going on there and it's honestly just denial at this point to think otherwise.

And it all comes back to the whole fandom thing again. So many people try to deny it by making whole ass essays about how they interacted with x y and z that one time. I need y'all to remember they're actual people and real people are capable of incredibly complex relationships with more than one person at once. They have friends that aren't each other, they have confidants that aren't each other. And if anything, all those interactions just make an even more stark of a contrast as to how THEIR relationship is different than all the ones they have with other people.

[fratresdei]

How to Create Sacred Space

Sacred spaces are some of the clearest examples we have of humanity’s active involvement in cultivating the Sacred. Within sacred spaces, the lines between “what is ‘just people’ and “what is ‘purely divine,'” are, blessedly, blurred to indistinction.

For example, when humans build temples, they often believe that holy presence resides within it. However, there is no delusion that the temple was not built by human hands. That reality is in fact celebrated! Within sacred space we are free to relish in our participation, or co-creation, of divine presence in our world. This power we possess does not detract from the mystery of sacred space, but is something to cherish. If we have the power to construct and nurture sacred space, that says a lot about our standing in the universe.

So, what constitutes a sacred space? The answer could include many possibilities: perhaps you have a favorite quiet spot in your place of worship or out in nature. Maybe you grew up with a shrine or altar in the home, or you may be seeking to curate and maintain a space for yourself. The space may be hidden away where only you can access it, or out in the open where you spend most of your day. There may be objects that represent deities, loved ones, prayers or intentions present. It could be a clear, clean space, empty of clutter, where the mind and spirit feel free to declutter as well. Your sacred space may simply be your own body. While the size and structure of a personal sacred space may vary, the core is the same: a place that has been set aside for contemplation or communion with the divine. The beauty of a sacred space, like many facets of spiritual life, derives from the meaning it carries for you.

To help illustrate the many variations and nuances of a sacred space, Fratres Dei Spiritual Direction Contributor Saint Gibson @stgibsonofficial and Communications Manager Caroline Crook @yourfavoriteauntcarol (yours truly), have each shared a picture of our own sacred spaces and described the contents therein.

Saint’s Space

There are a number of sacred spaces scattered throughout my house; the rose-scented Our Lady of Guadalupe candle and collection of crystals in my bedroom, the shelf where my fiancé and I remember our departed ancestors with little photos and trinkets, and the font of holy water affixed to the wall by the front door. But the most prominent sacred space in my home is the altar table set up in the living room, underneath a gilded icon of the Madonna and child.

On it, I keep all my candles and figurines representing the saints and angels, and some beloved keepsakes, like dried flowers, gifted rosaries, and letters from friends. The plate in the center of the altar features a painting of the last supper and is used for offerings: generally water, and sometimes alcohol or milk depending on whether or not that's appropriate to the petition or the day on the church calendar. My household celebrates both the Christian holidays and the pagan wheel of the year, so the decorations on the altar change out with feast days and seasons. The candles around the offering plate change, but there's always a sacred heart of Jesus and a Mary mother of God burning away, and usually a Saint Jude and a Saint Joseph as well. I burn a rainbow candle to remember the queer saints of the church both known and unknown, and to ask for God's protection on LGBTQ+ people worldwide.

My patron saint is the archangel Uriel, patron of confirmation in the Episcopal church and of poets and scholars widely. My golden Uriel figurine presides over his side of the altar, along with a figurine of the archangel Raphael, my fiancé's patron. We've got all sorts of talismans and charms representing the four archangels, and we have a fiery red candle for the archangel Michael that stands looped in a necklace featuring a ward against the evil eye. A golden pietà, my fiancé's greatest thrift store find, watches over all the candles. We've also got a colored figurine of the Infant of Prague standing proudly over a photograph of my fiancé and I. That's because the very first letter my fiancé ever sent me was a photograph of the Infant when he was traveling abroad, and we like to think he watches over us.

There are prayer cards littered about, and I often find myself reaching for Saint Ignatius of Loyola or Saint John the Revelator in times of need. We also usually keep incense burning in a metal cauldron that's always stuffed full of salt and ashes. Frankincense, rose, and lemongrass are my favorites. There are also many taper candles that I've saved from trips to other churches or from sung masses on Michaelmas and Christmas Eve.

I've been curating sacred space in every dorm room and apartment I've lived in for years, and this is by far my most favorite space yet. There's enough room to stand while you pray and move items around, but it's small enough that I could pack up everything on the altar into one box if I needed to. The table stands right between the living room and the kitchen, in the heart of the home, and it makes me feel like blessings are being disseminated from the altar to every room in the house. It's a way to keep a little bit of divinity always within arms reach, incarnate in rosaries and candles and bottles of holy water. With my altar nearby, I feel prepared for any spiritual celebration or crisis, and I know exactly where to retrieve up my spiritual tools when the occasion calls for it.

Caroline’s Space

Let’s call my sacred space an acoustic version of what a sacred space can be. It’s only a few months old; yet another quarantine project. Cluttered? Yes. Often mistaken as just a shelf for all my candles? Also yes. But it serves my spiritual life in ways that I personally find intuitive and accessible.

Of the three bookshelves in my apartment, this one is in a central spot in the living room, facing the couch. It’s part of the space and rhythm where most of my daily life takes place. Especially during quarantine when my brain fog is even worse than normal, it’s nice to be able to naturally glance over at this shelf and quickly check in with its contents.

Said contents are 95% candles. Whenever I need to set aside some time for an intentional, spiritually fulfilling practice (whether prayer, yoga, reading, writing, or just a break from social media) I light a candle. On days of significance (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) or to pray for a loved one, I’ll light a smaller tealight candle in the centerpiece and let it burn for the day.

The remaining 5% is all gifted, bought or found objects from friends and family members. The centerpiece is a candle/incense holder one of my oldest and dearest friends gave to me. There is a glass dish of crystals, shells and sharks’ teeth, all collected over the years between Florida and DC, with family and friends. The glass bottle in the corner was a gift from a friend’s wedding last summer, and I keep that filled with rainwater or holy water, depending on what’s at hand. There’s a crystal seashell towards the back that was a gift from my late grandmother. Each of these objects, to me, represents the many connections, joys and loves in my life. I’m also part magpie, so it’s nice to have a place where these odds and ends I collect can be 1) on display, 2) out of the way.

Other objects come and go, as I like to place items on this shelf that symbolize what’s on my heart at the time. Coins, written turns of phrase, scraps from old clothes, photos of loved ones, etc. Occasionally the odd tarot card, if I’m looking for a stronger visual.

For years this surface was just part candle repository, part please-God-do-not-forget-to-return-these-library-books shelf. It had a vague purpose, and certainly held things that are important to me, but not in an especially meaningful way. The act of curating this space -- choosing that shelf, cleaning it up, deciding what to place where, and maintaining it over time -- has been a source of calm, inspiration, and reflection. It’s still a work in progress though; I have a holly wreath I place around the centerpiece during the holidays, and am looking into getting a wreath to celebrate each season in the year. To, you know, help me remember that time is still passing in quarantine (I want to say April was… two weeks ago?)

If you feel so inclined, we would love to hear from you as well: what does a sacred space mean to you? What sacred spaces have you cultivated or visited?

If you’re curious about cultivating your own sacred space with the help of an expert, book your first free virtual session with Fratres Dei Spiritual Direction in the comments.

Saint offers tarot readings that are affirming, insightful and welcome to all. Check out Holy Roots Tarot using the link in the comments.

February 18, 2021 | Denver, Colorado

[ronbegleyformayor]

So this is going to be a long post—your question gets to the larger topic that is episode 100. Also to anyone reading this I would appreciate if you took a minute or two to read the whole thing—I purposefully waited a while to respond to this so my response would come across as measured as possible.

So anyone plugged into queer theory and media has probably heard of the term “bury your gays”. It’s a trope that goes at least as far back as lesbian pulp fiction novels from the early 20th century, and for a number of reasons that I’m not remotely qualified to comment on the trope has persisted into modern media. As the name implies, bury your gays is the implicit belief that for a story about gay people to end correctly, usually one or both members of a gay couple are killed before the it ends. Whether intentional or not, the trope is rooted in the idea that gay couples are not supposed to be together, that queer love is a temporary fantasy that must be righted by the end of the story. A weird kind of offshoot of this is the causing of gay characters to suffer through loneliness or separation from a partner, and it comes from the underlying idea that gay=alone. Frequently this manifests in queer characters feeling that they have to choose between family and friends and the “"gay lifestyle”“ when in reality those two things frequently are not mutually exclusive. A subset of this trope is featuring a gay character (or frequently the partner of a more-established gay character) as possessed by some form of “evil” to emphasize which side of the temptation is “correct” and which isn’t.

I’m guessing you can see what I’m teeing up here, so I’ll just add as a caveat that most writers (especially straight writers) do not necessarily agree with the homophobia behind these tropes, nor is it (usually) their intent to perpetuate negative stereotypes about gay people. That being said the legacy of this trope is alive in a lot of media, and intentional or not: gay people suffering is entrenched in how we think about writing them.

Now to be extra clear, I’m not (necessarily) saying this is what King Falls is doing. So far the writing of queer themes and homophobia has been nuanced and has avoided a lot of the pitfalls that have come to be expected, but I would also be lying if I didn’t say episode 100 didn’t rub me the wrong way, and for a couple of specific reasons, too.

For me what that boils down to is characterization and timing.

Let’s talk about characterization first.

Just think about this for a second: what do you know about Jack Wright? No really, can you name anything beyond the bare minimum of characteristics? He’s a journalist and radio host, has a belief in the paranormal, and loves Sammy. He has a sister and a fiancé, has black hair and brown eyes, and plays rugby. I can’t think of a single other concrete fact we’ve learned about him specifically, and being generous like less than half of the things on that list don’t directly have to do with Sammy. Now we could extrapolate bits of his personality based on the two very short clips we’ve ever heard of him and from what’s implied by Sammy and Lily, but that’s also kind of the point: everything we know about Jack Wright is almost exclusively based off his sister and his fiancé, both of whom are anything but unbiased. Did you notice how Lily trashed Sammy and Jack’s radio show in the first King Falls Chronicles but then went on to call Jack smart and prolific in his field like five minutes later? It’s a(n understandable) level of cognitive dissonance for someone who was going through the difficult process of grieving. Both Sammy and Lily are biased sources of information because both care very deeply for Jack. On it’s own that really isn’t a problem—in fact I would say it’s an opportunity for an interesting bit of narrative contrast between the perception of Jack and the reality of when we actually get to meet him.

That at least was my opinion.

Instead we have this ”“dark”“ version of Jack, a lover just out of reach who’s trying to tempt Sammy into leaving his family and friends for the “freedom” of the void. This is a situation that, if I’m being honest, has some homophobic tinges, and hearing the dialogue played out the way it was kind of made my stomach turn (and not in the fun, scared-to-death at 3AM way I’m used to).

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think this is what the writers were intending, nor do I think that there is anything necessarily wrong with having a normally good character occupy a “bad guy” role. When done correctly it can be interesting and compelling, and help tease out different aspects of a character or relationship dynamic. The issue isn’t that we’re seeing a “bad” version of Jack, the issue is that a. the specific wording of his interaction made my homophobia alarm bells go off, and more critically b. this “bad” version of of Jack is the only true version of him we know. Having him in a “bad” role outside his norm would be interesting if we actually had a real-time, in-person Jack with which to compare him. We might have a constructed idea of who he is from descriptions of biased sources close to him or tapes that are probably a decade old, but we only need to hear from this ”“shadow”“ Jack two more times and it’ll be more times than we’ve heard even recordings of the real Jack.

Emily, for example, had a baseline character established before her abduction. We got to know her as a character before she went missing, so when we eventually saw her as a different version of herself, we had a baseline understanding of how she typically acts in a situation, which is something we just don’t have with Jack.

Also, do you notice how Jack never directly spoke to Lily? He talked about her, but never to her, and can we take a moment to appreciate the gravity of that moment? Jack (or whatever was controlling him) had the opportunity to lure one of the four members of the "named” in the prophecy in the book, and instead of choosing his sister, the person he has known for his entire life and the only flesh and blood family with whom he’s in contact, and he chose to lure Sammy instead, to make Sammy choose between a gay relationship and the support system he’s built up.

Can you understand why this kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth? It feels a little like the “love the sinner” (Jack), hate the sin (being “bad”, trying to make Sammy have to decide between romance and a family), and that’s an adage that queer people tend to get tired of really quickly.

Again, because I really don’t want to be misunderstood, I don’t think this is what the writers intended; in fact I’m guessing the thought probably never even crossed their minds. But at the end of the day that’s kind of the point: if you’re going to make a show that subverts homophobic tropes (which I will readily say that they have done up until this point), you have to make sure not to accidentally fall into any of them yourself.

This leads me into my other issue with the episode: the timing.

My opinion toward the show right now would be considerably less harsh if this was not the last episode before a hiatus. I’m not saying the show can’t take breaks, but ending after this episode specifically? We are left with a very specific image of who Jack is, and exactly what kind of influence he has on Sammy. We’re left with the impression that Sammy has to choose between his found family and a gay relationship, and just to put icing on the cake we’re being told there is going to be another hiatus, prolonging the suffering of a character who has been through quite a lot already.

If this wasn’t the episode before a hiatus, I wouldn’t be as unhappy because we would have more immediate reactions to what had happened. We would have the four of them discussing it in detail. Maybe we even would have gotten a chance to hear Sammy himself say that this wasn’t Jack, and even get to hear more detail from him about who Jack is, if not what we heard. Maybe we would have actually gotten to see them get a step closer to getting Jack back instead of now knowing that the void has been opened, and we have to wait for another few months to see if the gay characters will ever get something even resembling a happy ending.

But we didn’t get any of that. Instead we got a cold, empty laugh that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since.

This isn’t to say that the show is headed in a bad direction. I think because this was not the intent that there is still plenty potential for things to stay on the rails. But what it looks like from here is that we are just continuing to prolong the suffering of the gay couple that sits at the emotional heart of the show’s main plotline. I’m just getting to a point where I’m starting to lose faith that we will see anything but it.

also huge thanks to @calebmichaels and @deputytroy. a lot of these points were the distillation of conversations between us, and if you think that I made a particularly interesting point at all in this post, it was probably their idea, not mine.

[honeylikewords]

Talk to me about tros!!!! I need to know about Poe!!

Okay, I’m finally sitting down to answer this anon, and a few things before I start!

1. Most of what I’m going to say will really only make sense if you go see The Rise of Skywalker yourself. While it’s far from a perfect movie, it’d take way too long for me to try and transcribe everything that happens in the film, and the context and nuance of certain scenes. So, yeah, while it’s not a good movie, if you’re invested in seeing how the movies have played out, you should probably go see it yourself.

2. I have some... mixed feelings about the movie. I also know that what I don’t like, I can choose to ignore; despite the disappointments of the series, I don’t have to take Rian or JJ’s bullshit as MY canon. I get to decide what I do and don’t adhere to as canon. Everyone else has their own varying scales of how they respond to canon-- some are super adherent to canon, some don’t care about anything at all-- and that’s fine. So although I have beef with how all this unfolded, I also know that I can take my love that I have for the characters (and all the potential that The Force Awakens had) and carry that on through my own interpretations, re-writes, et cetera, and I can choose to ignore the poor decisionmaking on the parts of Disney and Rian/JJ/who-the-fuck-ever. 

3. This ask is very open-ended, so I’m going to have to put some parameters down for myself because otherwise I’d get too overwhelmed with the breadth of information I’d need to present about TRoS. A comprehensive review would be really hard to write out, so I’ll just list some initial impressions (I haven’t been able to see it a second time, but likely will in the near future), and some of the relevant Poe-related issues in the films. If you wanna know more, feel free to send in more specific questions (specificity can help, because with my neurotype, I can easily be overwhelmed by large, “general” questions, and getting more granular can help me rein in and focus on a specific idea)!

4. Also, this post isn’t going to be friendly to R*ylo or people who straightwash Poe/are only interested in him as a straight guy. R*ylo is fucking gross, and I’m gonna rip it apart in this post, and Poe isn’t straight. I try not to be too aggressive on here (I’m generally not very aggressive at all!), but the fandom is just so toxic and vile at times that I feel like I need to put my foot down on these topics and say a firm “no” to R*ylos and Poe straightwashers. Oh, and I’ll be talking about the racism in the movie, as well as in the fandom, so buckle up for that, too. So consider this the “bigots begone!” spell as I wave my wand and attempt to shoo them all away!

Anyway...

From here down are spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. If you’re interested in seeing the movie spoiler-free, please scoot waaaaay past this post! Last warning!

And, with that out of the way, here we go!

Alright, here’s a list of stuff as it occurs to me. I’m almost overwhelmed with information, so it’s hard to condense my thoughts, but I’ll try my best!

1. The whole Zorri thing was a fucking nightmare, but not as bad as it could have been. It was really bad, believe me, but, like, it can be ignored easily (though if you’re anything like me, it’ll still leave a sour taste in your mouth). Like I predicted, Zorri was introduced to straightwash Poe and effectively quash any queer interpretations of his character and relationship with Finn. 

But, like, Poe and Zorri had no chemistry. It was almost embarrassing; they were clearly trying to work the “badass woman” angle, but, eh, she was just, basically, a minor blip on the radar; incredibly boring, incredibly useless, and just, like, a “sexy lamp” that could easily have been replaced. She added literally nothing to the film and was blatantly just an insert to try and prevent people from being able to make the case for a queer Poe. But, too bad, Disney! Poe is pansexual, dumbasses!

Oh, and while I’m on the topic of Poe’s queerness, I should add that I’m not really a big FinnPoe, myself; when it got big after the release of The Force Awakens, if felt like just another creepy Tumblr fetishization of male relationships, so that really set the tone for how I’d see it in the coming years. It’s grievously oversexualized on this site, but I also respect that, for many actually queer fans, the ship represents seeing themselves in Star Wars, and I do totally see their bond as canon. I completely acknowledge that Oscar wanted to represent the queer fans who wanted his character to be queer, and in that way, FinnPoe is definitely canon in some form! 

So, I do have a complex relationship with FinnPoe, in that it’s not my personal favorite ship (I vastly prefer FinnRey, since I never really felt that Finn and Poe had a romantic tension, but felt that Finn and Rey did), but I do respect the importance of it for queer fans and for trying to push at the limitations a major series like Star Wars has had for so long. Star Wars has been dominated as a straight, cishet, white man’s fandom; it’s time other people got a chance to love it and see themselves in this vast universe, too.

The cast also seems to be leaning into FinnPoe as a form of protest against censorship and homophobia in the fandoms and film world. They’re using their positions as major film stars to push back and say “hey, queer folks belong here, too”, and that’s so great!

But, anyway, the point is, Zorri sucked, and Poe’s not straight. He’s certainly capable of being attracted to women, but he’s not a straight dude, because he’s equally capable of being attracted to men and nonbinary people as well. 

Thankfully, Zorri and Poe never actually form a relationship in TRoS. He jokes about asking for a kiss, she tells him to go, and then he, at the end, sort of motions his head as if to say “wanna go kiss?” and she, again, tells him no, which he shrugs off. It’s pretty shitty, but easy to ignore.

Anyway, Poe is pan, Finn is pan, Lando is pan, Luke Skywalker is gay and nonbinary, Rey is nonbinary and probably ace, maybe interested in girls, I’m still ironing my hcs for her out, and no one can stop me! Go ahead and try to kill me, Disney (and homophobic Star Wars fans); if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

2. Poe’s “backstory” is such a fucking trainwreck. They basically tried to nix a bunch of what was already canonically established in order to, get this, make Poe a drug dealer. 

It’s a little more complex-- the idea is that Poe was a pilot for a group of pirates for about six years, from the age of 16 until he was 22-ish, and ran Spice, the drug in Star Wars-- but it’s also not. It’s really bad. 

Way to take a canonically noble, hardworking, Latino character and reduce him to the most shitty, racist stereotype imaginable. I’ve already complained about him not needing a “dark” past, but this? This is somehow worse than him being, like, a bounty hunter, because it carries political implications and is just such a stock, trash stereotype that we don’t need in this world or in our fantasies. It’s ridiculous, and I refuse to acknowledge it.

Worse yet, it’s said that Poe “ran away from home” to join the pirates to “avoid responsibility” at age 16... dude, Poe has been shown in EVERY PRIOR CANONICAL APPEARANCE TO CRAVE NOTHING BUT RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he’s a hothead, but he’s responsible! He wants to labor and take on caring for others because he’s a hardworking, compassionate, headstrong man! Ugh!

I could go off forever about this, but I’m already feeling myself grinding my teeth, and for the sake of my blood pressure and psychological wellbeing I’m not going to make myself go feral over it right now. Deep breaths, K, deep breaths...

3. In things I did like: Poe got promoted to general, and he made Finn a general alongside him. He really grew into his position, and I’m so proud to see him as General Dameron of the Resistance. He deserves it. 

4. Poe and Finn had SO many good scenes and such great chemistry. I loved seeing them bounce off each other, and their relationship made me laugh and smile and feel warm, even as everything else was falling apart. I love my boys!

5. Poe gets grossed out by bones. Canon. Love a squeamish king.

6. Oh, ugh, I just remembered that they tried to frame Poe and Rey as having an aggressive relationship with each other and I rolled my eyes. How dumb can they be? Ugh. I don’t even have the energy to try and unpack how ridiculous all that is. More deep breaths...

7. In terms of the worst thing to happen in the movie... R*ylo, like, gets shoehorned in. Honestly, looking back at all the predictions I made a few months back, I’m entirely right; everything I predicted came to pass. This included.

It was shitty and bad and nearly all the cast has spoken out against it now that their contracts with Disney aren’t as binding, and seeing it happen on the big screen was just... oh my god, it was horrifying.

It really was.

But thankfully, Kylo died, so the ship can’t really continue! Yeehaw!

8. I actually did like parts of the ending. I’ll talk about that more if anyone asks more specific questions, but right now, I’m kinda burning out because of the wide net this ask casts, so I’ll have to defer for the moment.

At any rate, it all happened exactly the way I thought it would, bleh. Like, so much shit in the movie went down exactly the way my TRoS predictions post said, it’s almost scary. 

Honestly, though, just running through all this is exhausting me; I really can’t make myself go through it all in this particular format. So, I’ll just leave this here as it is, and if anyone has any specific questions-- what I thought of specific moments, characters, scenes, etc-- send an ask! But this is all just really wide and general and burning my brain out to try and process it all again, so more specificity in future asks might help me stay more on track and not get overwhelmed trying to explain every single thing all at once. 

I have tons and tons of thoughts about it, ranging from what I loved to what I’d have done different about the whole series, but I just don’t have the psychological wherewithal to make myself write everything out in one giant, dense, indecipherable post: it’s just all too much, so I’d need to break it down into smaller, more specific questions.

This probably isn’t a super-satisfying answer, but feel free to just send specific asks and I’ll answer them, no matter how many! It just helps to have a specific line of thought to follow, so feel free to ask about each individual thing and I’ll try to answer!

Thanks!

[ashenpages]

Not Interested

“Wait, FOR REAL?!” Ryuji’s mouth hung open as he traded looking between Futaba and Yusuke. Futaba kept typing on her laptop, and Yusuke’s pencil didn’t leave the paper of his sketchbook.

It’s like neither of them thought anything of dropping the mind blowing, world altering information that Ann and Makoto were dating.

“Hm?” Yusuke blinked up from his sketchbook, as if surprised that Ryuji needed further explanation. “Oh...yes. Apologies, I thought you were aware of the situation.”

“It’s not like it’s been hard to pick up on.” Futaba rolled her eyes. “They’re being all gooey and romantic.”

Yusuke laughed softly and turned to face her. “Is it causing problems for you, Futaba?”

“God, no, it’s adorable. They’re adorable. I just won’t ever get it, you know?”

Yusuke nodded solemnly and Ryuji’s eyebrows crushed together. What the heck were these two talking about? “Wait...” He aimed a look at Futaba. “Why not?”

“I’m aromantic, Ryuji.”

Ryuji’s eyebrows furrowed even more in confusion. “A romantic? Wouldn’t that mean you’d get it more than normal people?”

Yusuke shook his head gently and chuckled as if laughing to himself. “No, Ryuji, not a romantic. Aromantic. It means that she doesn’t experience romantic attraction the way that you might.”

“Might?” Ryuji squeaked.

“In any case,” Futaba said over the clicking of the keys on her keyboard. “It means the intricacies of Ann and Makoto’s lovey-dovey routine can get a little...complex for me.”

“I thought...” Ryuji swallowed, trying to process this new information. “I thought you had a crush on Akira?”

Futaba scoffed in a succession of five different sounds. “As if. He’s my brother, you meat-head.”

“To be fair,” Yusuke said. “Ryuji originally thought that my reluctance to give up on having Ann model for me had something to do with sexual attraction.”

Futaba burst out laughing. Ryuji bit his lip and swallowed, afraid to ask his next question but knowing he had to if he ever wanted closure. “Why’s this funny?”

Futaba threw her hand over the top of her laptop, gesturing to Yusuke. “He’s asexual!”

Ryuji threw his arms up and out. “You’re asexual?”

Yusuke blinked slowly, clearly surprised by Ryuji’s reaction. “You didn’t know?”

Futaba cackled from her corner of the hideout, holding her stomach. She fell over on the couch and continued laughing while Ryuji gaped, blinked, and tried to process everything he had just learned.

“Ann and Makoto are dating...” He pointed to Futaba. “You don’t experience romantic attraction.” He moved his finger to Yusuke. “And you...don’t...want to have sex?” His pitch went up at the end of his question. He knew a little about asexuality, but not a lot. He’d never known someone that was that way before. Or, he did – but he hadn’t known they were that way! How much of Yusuke was just Yusuke being Yusuke, and how much of it was asexuality?

Yusuke grimaced. “It’s a bit more nuanced than that. I don’t experience sexual attraction, yes, but I am not sex-repulsed.”

“So, you...do want to have sex then?”

Futaba’s laughing took on a new wind, and Yusuke sighed. “I could be interested in having sexual relations with a partner that I was very much in love with and wanted to be close to, yes. I may even enjoy it. The few times I’ve explored masturbation it has been pleasureable, so – ”

Ryuji threw his hands up. “Okay, okay! Cool!” He sighed and rubbed his neck. “Man, I had no idea...”

Yusuke made a face. “Truly?”

Futaba laughed so hard she snorted. “Hahaha! Wow, Ryuji! You really haven’t been paying attention.”

“Guess it’s just me and Akira left, huh?”

“Akira...” Futaba said through her laughter. “Akira’s gay.”

Ryuji froze. “What?”

Yusuke gave Ryuji a companionable smile. “And you’ve exhibited a lot of pan and demisexual tendencies yourself, Ryuji.”

Ryuji’s brain got stuck on that thought. What did that mean? He could...he could like anyone? And would only like them if...if... “What does demisexual mean?”

“It means,” Yusuke said patiently while Futaba reached a new level of guffawing, “that you’re only interested in pursuing people that you have become close to emotionally.”

“Psh.” Ryuji waved Yusuke away. “What are you talking about, I’m nothing like that.”

Yusuke shrugged. “Perhaps not when masquerading as the typical hot-blooded Japanese male you’ve been told to be, perhaps.” Yusuke turned his sketchbook around, showing Ryuji a portrait of himself in his Phantom Thief attire, leaning on Akira’s shoulder as the other boy pulled loot from a treasure chest. “But in your more candid moments, I think it may be worth examining in your spare moments.” Yusuke flipped his sketchbook back around and went back to drawing – a small, smug smile set firmly on his lips.

Ryuji opened his mouth, then closed, then opened it again. Futaba’s laughing had subsided to gleeful chuckles, but the sound still made him flush.

Quickly, he went for his bag, and stammered “I have to go.” If Futaba and Yusuke made any acknowledgement, he didn’t stay to see them, choosing to book it down the stairs of the hide out and into the Leblanc alleyway instead.

His face was still hot and red. He put his hand over the lower half, moving towards the station and thinking.

He’d looked so happy in Yusuke’s drawing.

Maybe the queer kids did move in packs after all.

[wikipediapersonallife]

So I googled femme at 5am just for fun and this came up. Yes, I know it was published in 2016. I clicked on it because it’s Autostraddle and I thought it would be bad but entertaining. There are some good parts though!! I just wanted to share my thoughts.

NOTE: This is not a post making an argument about who can use the word femme. I am more concerned with the contexts in which femme is being used, and the harmful language that often surrounds it.

Quotes

Rudy:

“Femme is connected to emotional labor and healing. . .It’s allowing a particular kind of tenderness to be part of your identity. . .Having something based on just aesthetics is really dangerous because it removes the politics from things. . .

[Other people] think that if you’re not a lesbian or bisexual woman and you’re calling yourself femme, you’re contributing to an erasure or appropriation of the history of lesbian and bisexual women. These people are talking in a really binary way. In my observation, it seems to be a generational thing. But the people who are most affected by these opinions are trans women or transfeminine people, and I feel like if trans women and transfeminine people are telling you that you’re doing something fucked up, cis women should listen to that.”

First, from what I’ve seen, many of the critiques that lesbians and other wlw have are already about not using femme as an aesthetic term. Secondly, the idea that being femme is synonymous with being forced into more emotional labor doesn’t sit right with me. (We have this same thread every week, comrade.) And butches can absolutely be tender. The other paragraph is well-intentioned, but erases lesbian and bisexual trans women, which was discussed a bit in the comment section.

Aja:

“I’ve finally come to sort of queasily embrace myself as high femme, or at least high x hard femme, but I have a really hard time committing to any single aesthetic. I don’t get dressed to tick off boxes or be sorted into a category. . .The “hard” part comes, I suppose, from being a strident feminist with high standards for longer than I’ve been a queer. . .Thank god for Resting Bitch Face and tattoos, the latter of which can help somewhat in artfully signaling being both femme and feminist. . .

On the idea that an older generation of people think only women should claim the word femme: I’m 36 years old and I find that kind of restriction on “femme” to be abhorrent and willfully cruel. No femme friends of mine — and I’m lucky that they are numerous — believe anything like that, and many of them are my age and older still. If they did, I’d dump them on the spot! The “erasure of lesbian history” narrative is weak and fearful, that’s all.”  

The first paragraph is really negative about the expectations of being femme, and implies that being a femme and a feminist are mutually exclusive. The second paragraph made my jaw drop because it’s just so flippant and hurtful to lesbians.

Mey:

“My version of femme is Bruja Femme, but this summer I’m also moving toward Pop Witch Femme, as inspired by True Gay Icon Carly Rae Jepsen. It looks like dark red lipstick and winged eyeliner without caring about any other makeup. It looks like stars and outer space and Our Lady de Guadalupe. It feels like connecting with the long line of Mexican women and witches that I come from and want to be more like. I definitely think that for me, my femme-ness is tied a lot to my emotions. I use it to find myself and center my mind and my heart and, in a way, be my truest version of myself. If I’m not being a femme, I’m hiding more than just my fashion or my attitude or my personality, I’m hiding my essence.

My femme roots include a lot of other trans women of color. When I was first coming out on the internet, I made a lot of twoc friends and they really helped me figure out who I wanted to be and who I am and how I wanted to be that person. I’m absolutely going to cite Luna Merbruja as one of my main roots. And this is like, totally cliche, but Paris Is Burning really opened my eyes to a whole new world of femme possibilities. Also, and I know this is nerdy, but a lot of comic book characters like Batgirl, Catwoman, Zatanna and Storm, who really showed me that being femme can also be super powerful. Oh, and definitely Ronnie Spector and Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

As far as femme visibility goes, I definitely think about how the queer femme look is more visible in mainstream media. I feel like for me, Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Boy Problems” video is the peak of this in a lot of ways. Everything in that video looks so fucking queer, but it’s hard to tell how many of the people in it actually are queer. I think part of that comes from the way younger people are identifying, with studies showing that the younger you go, higher and higher percentages of people ID as not straight and/or not cis. I think it’s cool, and hopefully that’s a good thing for the future of femmes.”

I actually really liked Mey’s thoughts, but some of her terminology irked me, such as “femme visibility” and using “queer” in place of “LGBT.”

Bryn:

“When I use the word femme to describe myself, I’m trying to reclaim a way of living that isn’t defined by my assigned gender, but by my experience of femininity. I have always thought of femme as intentionally living as a feminine person. Taking ownership of my existence as a femme is more than the way it looks, it’s a revolutionary act in itself. As a non-binary femme, I am received as threatening, harsh and edgy in spaces that claim to be inclusive of femme people from any background. Claiming femme puts me in an unsafe position, and it makes people like me have to choose to change nothing or everything about ourselves in this world. Being femme is a process of unlearning the reasons to hold my tongue while being faced with the risk of speaking up.

Being a feminine person requires maintaining a constant internal dialogue about how to keep yourself safe. We’ve all been taught to slight ourselves for the sake of bending to the gender binary’s shape and power dynamic. Learning to value myself as a feminine person is an everyday task for me. But it also feels powerful, because there is something about asserting myself as a femme in a world that is hostile and dismissive of me. It allows me to understand the value that is inherent in my own experience of femme and femininity.

In my experience, many cis women of all ages feel that my identity as a non-binary femme somehow invalidates theirs. Lots of people like to consider themselves radical without actually being able to make any space for people coming from a different place. My experience of femininity is linked to empathy and understanding that to be feminine is to be less safe in this world, so I understand the need to have spaces that are exclusionary out of respect for our right to protect and value ourselves. But there is a large community of feminists who are misleading in terms of how inclusive they’re actually willing to be.

My femme roots include Erykah Badu, Anohni, Syd tha Kyd, Agnes Martin, Diana Ross, Wendy Carlos, Chaka Kahn, Bjork, Sophie Campbell, Tujiko Noriko, and Kate Bornstein.”

Presented mostly without comment, but I am worried about the implications of stating that women are oppressed for being feminine, because butch women also face misogyny. It’s a little unclear to me what Bryn meant by that part. I feel like there’s probably some nuance that was missed because of space constraints.

Erin:

“I don’t associate femme with emotional labor at all, and actually, I don’t really associate femme with tenderness! I equate Femme with being able to ruin someone’s life IN A GOOD WAY if you wanted to, this bubbling-just-beneath-the-surface strength. Not that strength and tenderness are mutually exclusive, but maybe it’s that their approach feels different.

On the idea that an older generation of people think only women should claim the word femme: I’m afraid I don’t even get that argument, possibly because I’m not super smart but also possibly because that argument is bananas? Cis men are described as “butch,” so does that invalidate an entire self-identified group within lesbian history? No? They get to keep that one? It’s almost like the femme identity… is invisible. Sorry. No, kidding, but I think femme has always been relevant. I don’t think we’re reinventing or reclaiming the word, I just think it’s not been seen.”

This first paragraph differs from a lot of the other writers about emotional labor, but the “ruining someone’s life” part gives me pause. The second paragraph here seems dangerously close to the territory of claiming “femmephobia,” and the etymological argument regarding butch makes no sense at all.

YAT/TA:

“Femme labor is silently sewing your mouth shut, as you lift your lover’s ego high enough that you can both float away to the planet that you’ve been building together… all the while praying that your held breath and your heavy heart can stand to hold the both of you. Femme means that you’ve got some sensitivity that doubles as strength and you are down to aestheticize it, commune over it, or fucking fuck about it.”

That first part made me so uncomfortable. I kind of understand the second fragment, but I immediately thought of the “radical softness as a weapon” post.

Cecelia:

“This is why magic and other healing practices are so necessary to how I identify as femme. I use witchy things to care for myself and show other people that I care for them. Reading someone’s tarot is a way to remind them (and myself) that vulnerability is a measure of growth and strength. Lighting a candle and saying a spell for another femme is a strategy that reminds me how important it is to comfort and protect each other.”

This just seems to be presented in a way that demonstrates being femme and being a witch as inherently paired concepts, which I don’t understand.

Alaina:

“[My femme is] baking cakes for people I love from scratch in a kitchen I cleaned myself. . .

If my femme identity were tied to any kind of emotional labor it would be nurturing. All of my femme role models have been mothers, aunties, grandmothers, and other caregivers who had hardened calloused hands from working so hard, but could and would still stroke your back with all the gentleness in the world if you were hurting. When I think about being femme, it’s tied to taking care of my community. It’s tied to holding folks in the light and uplifting my community with love and care.

Femme invisibility is still very real, and extremely difficult to navigate. And I do think that a lot of it has to do less so with any sort of purposeful femme erasure in queer communities (although that is extremely prevalent), and much more to do with the fact that it’s an identity being co-opted by folks who aren’t queer.”

The labor aspects sound slightly less positive than I think Alaina wants them to come across to the readers. Also, where is this extreme prevalence of femme invisibility in the LGBT community that everyone keeps mentioning?

Other observations

Hegemonic use of “queer” throughout the piece - it’s still very much a slur that not everyone is comfortable with, so if I was writing this, I would’ve substituted “LGBT” at least half the time

The number of contributors who referenced witchcraft as part of their femme identity (tally: 3/8); especially because there was no mention of other forms of spirituality -- which is intriguing because so much of the documentation of butch/femme aspects of lesbian history has been recorded and researched by Jewish lesbians (such as Joan Nestle, Leslie Feinberg, and Lillian Faderman); I realize a joint post like this is self-selecting, though

Originally I wanted to talk about the comment section too, but this is getting too long. Maybe I’ll make a Part 2 to this post later.

[insearchofgatherings-blog]

Full Brightness

One

I always took the train to London.

I made up excuses to my many friends with an affinity for swiftness by air. The train took you to the centre, not to Gatwick. Once you factor in the airport bus, it’s probably faster than flying. I like having a table, not a flimsy piece of plastic. Babies don’t scream from decompression. And even the most absurdly hypocritical (for myself), but would always strike a nerve with my environmentally obsessed peers – “the train is electric; flying is one of the biggest consumers of fossil fuels”. I was never one to truly put the environment above my convenience, but I loved how that one shut them up.

But the real reason was one of my few irrationalities – I just have a romantic connection to rail. I love the sound, the views, the ability to wander around, the automated machine coffee that they serve to you in a little paper bag as if it compensates for the taste. Flying is clinical and cold. Airports are places of fear and anxiety; train stations are places of long farewells and slow departures.

They say that for important people, time is everything, and commuting must be as quick as possible. It can’t cut into their important meeting time or their important coffee time or their important phone call time. But glancing around Coach F I can see more men in suits and women with short hair on phone calls than any 50 quid Manchester to London RyanAir flight.

I liked to imagine that they were CEOs and COOs and Chairmen and Chairwomen and that my irrationalities of train travel were also found in highly successful people. I bet Vice would write an article about that. These 10 Weird Habits of CEOs Will Amaze You. Probably more Buzzfeed than Vice. I don’t really read any of that, but the headlines pop up in my feeds against my will on an almost daily basis. A morbid curiosity into which of my friends like them has kept me from blocking the sites completely. But in reality, Phil sitting next to me is just an underling, a scrapper.

He’s set up in the most bizarre way, with one of those tablet-come-laptops propped on the table, wired into the solitary mains plug between our seats. It has a small fold-out keyboard, one that looks like a fake child’s play-toy, without even tangible buttons to press, just marked out character zones to tap on. But despite taking a six or seven-minute interval to retrieve all of this, he’s responding to his emails by phone, the tablet-laptop left unattended as he single-fingers his way through family summons and requests for documents.

A few years back I had made wearing sunglasses at all times part of my core existence. I think it originally started as a joke, but they quickly became something I was uncomfortable without, to the point where I collected three or four pairs of £2 Primark trash lenses just in case I couldn’t locate them when leaving the house. It had nothing to do with the sun, or even general aesthetics. And to this day, I’m not convinced that anyone else has those reasons either. Sunglasses hide your soul, and they allow you to look into the souls of others. It almost feels like a superpower - the ability to look at people, to see every nuance of their movement, expression and emotion, whilst never intruding them with the uncomfortable insecurity of knowing you are watched.

I had been reading Phil’s emails and texts for nearly an hour now, and he was none the wiser. What first caught my eye was the rather absurd signature on his phone emails – “Sent from My Phil’s iPhone X”. I liked to imagine it was a power move. A subtle humblebrag about how busy he is, and that yes, he did have time to respond to your enquiry, but only on his phone and with minimal effort given to email formalities.

I had the window seat. Forward-facing, with a table. The trifecta, as I called it. Trains aren’t like airlines, who charge you out the nose for any sort of upgrade in comfort. If you book it far enough in advance, all you have to do is check the boxes and more often than not you’ll get it. Occasionally, if it was one of the trains that came through from Inverness or Aberdeen beforehand, there would be someone in my window. I took no pride in booting them out, but it was a necessary evil to be able to endure the tough stretch between Peterborough and London when the carriage that began at 20% capacity now stretches to over 100.

I found that as long as you tuck a bag of necessities underneath the seat and go to the toilet beforehand, the four and a half hours is more than tolerable without being able to move. And spreading out while there are no coinhabitants in your compartment detracts fellow spreaders from joining you, only those with few possessions dare sit next to me when I’m at full spread. Still, I do look forward to the return journey, when the carriage capacity inverts, and the final stretch north of Newcastle is completed in a near-empty space with ample room to fire books across the full four-seater and go for exploratory wanders to the closing café car.

I had my laptop out, full brightness. I liked to believe that other people were as nosy as I was, and were constantly looking at what I was working on. I worked best in these environments – cafes, trains, even libraries. My personal penchant for procrastination seemed to disappear as soon as someone else could see what I was working on. It was a touch pathetic, no doubt, but I reasoned that as long as it worked for helping productivity, I was fine with the superficial reasoning.

I always wanted to seem more important and more busy and more creative than I actually was. No scrolling through social media, no films or TV, no reading the news. Just work, or perhaps something that looks mysteriously creative. I wanted the person next to me to think I was a genius or a savant or something above my natural ability. I had dozens of excel spreadsheets that looked like chaotic labyrinths of formulae, and despite their true use being quite simple, the look is all that mattered.

I had opened one that I wasn’t even going to work on today. It had several columns involving a calculation of individual standard deviations, which always requires several formula-heavy helper columns, packing it right out with numbers and increasing its aura of complexity. In reality, it was a spreadsheet that compared cafés across towns in England. Manchester was still winning.

It had been open for about 20 minutes, and I hadn’t touched it, nor even come up with a plan of what I was attempting to do. It was there as a placeholder for other, less sophisticated forms of computer-based procrastination.

I liked to remind myself occasionally that it was okay to shelve productivity and just look out the window for a while because otherwise, my obsession with the forward-facing window was almost pointless. The passing of a train through countryside is oddly captivating, and you can find yourself getting lost in the never-ending flow of towns and farms and animals and power plants and small stations that pass too quickly for your eyes to register the name on the sign. The East Coast Main Line was my regular, but occasionally if I could justify the extra hour, or if the advance ticket turned out cheaper, I’d take a West Coast train just for a change of scenery.

Sophie wasn’t happy that I was taking the train, but I refused to budge. Arriving in at Heathrow at 0500 this morning, a first-thing flight meant I could meet her there, at the airport, at around 7 or 8. A train meant I’d be in at midday at the earliest, and at King’s Cross, not Heathrow. I’m only there for two days, she insisted. Come on, gotta make the most of it. I told her I had already booked. A lie.

I hadn’t seen Sophie in nearly two years, since she vanished to Australia in search of some lost youth. There’s a special visa that they give for ‘young people’ to ‘experience the world’ that lasts for two years. I seem to recall that her haste to leave was brought about by the realisation that, at 29, she was about to miss the cut-off for eligibility.

Her long-awaited return to the UK being only two days told us more than enough about her trip away. She didn’t want it to end or couldn’t go back to England or some endless combination of clichés that seems to possess those who go outside their comfort zone ten years too late. Summoning the girls for a girls’ weekend epitomized this neo, post-crisis Sophie perfectly, because a quick glance at the group of six invited (and three further declined) showed a list of people that had probably never all been in the same room at the same time. I knew all of them to varying degrees, but none as closely as Sophie, and I’d wager the majority of the party felt similar.

It all made sense when Emma mentioned that there was a man now. My mind went off at this news. If I wasn’t already interested in this ‘girls weekend’ for general anthropological reasons, the news that the biggest misandrist and most publicly gay member of the group of queers that ‘the girls’ seemed to be loosely constructed from had now straightened up and got a man was so tantalizing I could taste it.

It also, less importantly, explained the brevity of the weekend. All the couldn’t stand going homes and man, fuck Englands and other clichés are normally abandoned when people return home and realise they don’t have much choice, but the talk on the channels is that this man is Portuguese, and that is where they’re leaving Australia for, London just being a stopover.

Everything about this seemed so hilariously, laughably, unbearably straight. I had always known that Sophie’s publicly overt lesbianism was a cover for something more complex and further along the spectrum, but she would never be seen dead admitting to sleeping with men in her university years, let alone running off to some country she’d never been to with one. Even the notion that this group ever was the girls and ever did things like girls' nights is nonsense. It reeked of something she’d spun her new man, trying to pass as a regular old straight who didn’t attend protests fortnightly just for the thrill of breaking the law.

I hadn’t even given a single thought about what Sophie might have planned for us. Emma, who no doubt had individually messaged everyone else in the entire group with the man gossip, spun off a list that I promptly ignored. I didn’t like going into events like this with expectations. I wanted the drama to slap me in the face, to take it head-on. And boy I needed some of that drama.

[stormdoors78476]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[repwinpril9y0a1]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[grgedoors02142]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[rtscrndr53704]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[porchenclose10019]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[rtawngs20815]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[exfrenchdorsl4p0a1]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[pat78701]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

Peppermint Opens Up About Coming Out As Trans On 'RuPaul's Drag Race'

On Friday night’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” New York City queen Peppermint finally had a moment that many fans of the show knew was coming: a discussion surrounding her trans identity and the way it relates to her drag persona.

It was a highly personal and vulnerable conversation for Peppermint, who has been open about being trans since the show premiered earlier this year. But deciding when to share this with her fellow competitors and coming out on national television is no easy task, and one that Peppermint put an immense amount of thought and emotional energy into prior to the filming the show last summer.

There have been contestants who have come out as trans during the course of a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season in the past, like Monica Beverly Hillz, and those that have gone on to transition post-”Drag Race,” like Carmen Carrera or Gia Gunn. But Peppermint is the first queen to be vocal about her identity from the moment the list of queens competing on her season was announced.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, Peppermint opens up about how she decided to tell her fellow contestants about her trans identity, the relationship, for her, between being trans and drag performance, and advice she would give other trans and gender non-conforming queens considering competing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” in the future.

The Huffington Post: First of all, congratulations for coming out on national television ― that’s a huge deal!

Peppermint: Thank you! I’ve actually been out for awhile but this is my first time speaking about it with this group of people, so I guess it’s a coming out! It’s a small and a big coming out at the same time.

Right ― it’s just more of a public coming out on this major platform. How did you approach sharing your trans identity going into “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?

Well, I think I took the same approach that I took in life, which was I didn’t necessarily have a Facebook announcement moment or like a “stop it all, everything changes” moment. I really just kind of wanted to become who I was supposed to be and continue to do what I was always meant to do – and I did! I just kind of morphed myself into a trans woman [laughs] and continued to kind of go about my daily life. The people who were in contact with me and in my life just kind of saw it in front of their eyes. So that was kind of my approach with the show.

I didn’t really want to come in and say, “hey everyone, I don’t know your names but I’ve got an announcement to make.” I just wanted to let me persona and my talent speak for themselves. And once I felt comfortable and established in the room and this group of people and knew that it was a safe space then I felt comfortable enough to share personal moments with them – including my trans experience.

You talked a little bit about this in the episode, but I would love to hear you talk more about the contention and distinction between trans identity and drag performance. Obviously you can’t speak for everybody when it comes to that but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what that relationship is like for you.

You know, it didn’t even occur to me until a certain time that there is a difference between drag and [being] trans. For me, for so long, just doing drag was me being able to express myself as a woman and make the choice to wear things that I felt were gorgeous and makeup and hair and all of that. And it wasn’t until much later and actually starting my transition that I realized that’s barely even what womanhood is about for all of those women. So once I wrapped my head around that I was kind of able to see the relationship between drag and trans in that, for me, the truth is that there’s a lot of wonderful places in great cities and groups of people and LGBT centers that are safe spaces for people of trans experience to kind of explore their identity and step into that realm. But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression – of course! Because that’s the name of the game for drag. And so that’s a really safe space for trans people to be able to kind of explore that. I think some trans people very quickly realize that performing in drag is not for them, and then some of us get hooked on it and want to do it every day!

But, as we know, there are a lot of places that aren’t safe spaces and I think drag in most cities, at least in America, continues to be a safe space for someone to kind of experiment with gender expression.

I think that this is definitely a dialogue that we engage in a lot within queer community. How do we help the larger world understand this really complicate relationship between these different shades of identity involving drag performance and trans identity.

I think the simplest way to put it is in the words of Monica Beverley Hillz who so bravely came out in season five of Drag Race, that “Drag is what I do and trans is who I am.” And I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I know that there’s a lot of nuances, just as there are in the human experience – there’s no one way to describe everyone. I think that’s what we should take away: there’s trans people who may have never set foot in a gay bar or been to a drag show. And there’s trans people who are drag queens and are at the gay bar every week ― just like there are gay men who never set foot in a gay bar. It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say “all gay people are this” or “all trans people are that.” And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media. So I think once we start to expand the different shades and shapes and sizes of the people in our queer community in media, then people will see that there are different types of trans people – some of whom are drag queens and some of whom are not. Drag is a job or career – it’s a way to make money, but it’s not necessarily the be all end all of a trans person’s existence. 

Very well said and I would even argue that you’re embodying that possibility model by talking about this right now and that’s really powerful and I commend you for that. As a trans woman, how are you impacted by gendered terminology on the show? What are your thoughts surrounding that?

One step at a time is my thought. It would not be a bad thing if the producers and writers of the show decided that they wanted to carve out more space to expand and get a little more breathing room when it comes to terminology and words and definitions. I don’t necessarily think it is as crucial, specifically because I know that when I’m working as a drag performer, the definition and expectation is that you are a gender non-conforming person.

It’s really easy, especially when we’re talking about minorities, to kind of paint the entire community with one broad stroke and just say 'all gay people are this' or 'all trans people are that.' And this is primarily because we have very limited examples of who these people are in our media.

Did you ever feel the pressure to present in any certain type of way while out of drag when you were competing on the show?

Well, this is an extremely difficult, personal and very heavy kind of thought process for me. No, I didn’t feel any pressure directed at me from anyone else. I really had to address the pressure that I put on myself. What is a woman? What do I look like? What does my natural body say? And how do I feel about that? I’ve had to address that stuff throughout my life and I probably will again – this calls into question possibility. Do I really need to feel the pressure to sit in front of the mirror and put on a bunch of makeup and wear a whole bunch of jewelry, makeup and perfume just to go to the grocery store? What if I just wash my face and present my natural self – will people say that I’m a man? I mean that’s really a scary thing and a hard thing to deal with and accept for a lot of trans people. And a part of passing has to do with safety and not being targeted, and of course I felt safe I didn’t think I was going to be abused or anything. But the truth of the matter is an hour before I start getting into drag, I take a shower and I have short blonde hair, no makeup on and my body looks like one that most people would say, “oh that’s a man.” And I don’t like that but it’s the truth! And I have to deal with that. And so I wanted to go into each challenge as natural as possible, I didn’t want to have to put on a bunch of makeup and then take it off and put it back on again. And before the show I would wear hair as a trans woman every day ― my daytime hair. I have a daytime look which involves wigs and makeup and hair and I didn’t want to have to de-drag in order to drag again because then I would be at a disadvantage.

That’s extremely personal and I appreciate you sharing that. Finally, what would you want to say to any trans or GNC person that’s thinking about or going to compete on drag race in the future?

I think number one, absolutely do it. I think if you have faith that you are a stellar drag performer and you think you have a lot to offer to the world of drag and have already contributed to the world of drag, then I say “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is meant for you. Whether you see an example of yourself or not, you will be that person. So just do it! And I do think, kind of going back to the last question that you had, you may have to be really ready to shed a lot of the ― I don’t want to say security blanket ― but a lot of the things that you use to protect yourself in every day life when you’re going into a thing like “Drag Race.” And that’s not necessarily unique to a trans person or trans experience – I think every person who goes to “Drag Race” or any reality TV show has to be ready to be vulnerable or be exposed or be without their security blanket – whatever that is. And that includes people of trans experience.

Laverne Cox told me about an experience she had where she was traveling through the airport and was in a rush and she was misgendered by the airline personnel at the gate. And she had a choice to kind of either stay there and argue with the person so that they knew the right thing to say, or just keep it moving because she doesn’t have time and doesn’t want to miss her flight. And the truth is, whether I’m wearing hair or however I’m presenting, it doesn’t negate my womanhood.

I’ve always been a woman! And my womanhood is never at stake based on what someone says about how I look or how I present or whether you’re a drag queen or not or whether you’re transition or whether you have surgeries – none of that matters. Your womanhood or your manhood if you’re a trans man or whatever your gender identity – you’re born with it! That’s my belief. And even though it takes some people awhile to realize it and kind of come into their own, it’s always inside of you.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2oIXQtM