#being on twitter just feels so revealing all the time

[pinkeoni]

byler twt is Like That because they are already crazy enough to interact with fandom spaces on Twitter.

[sarcosmiiic]

PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND:

we, as fans, do not have a right to private information. anything shared with us on this is a privilege. please do not abuse it. the cc's could shut down and never talk about it if we overwhelm them.

also, please keep in mind that ONE HERMIT and THE ENTIRETY OF HERMITCRAFT are NOT THE SAME THING. the entire fandom is not 'ruined' or 'completely unsafe' because of the actions of one person.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE OTHER HERMITS KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH ISKALL. this is not some big conspiracy, it's the consequences of one person's actions. they weren't hiding this from us, that's not how hermitcraft works, they truly didn't know. they probably knew as much as us about this, so making it an 'us against them' situation is immature and shortsighted.

ALSO, I AM BEGGING EVERYONE TO PLEASE NOT SENSATIONALIZE THIS. PLEASE DO NOT TURN HATING ISKALL INTO A MEME OR A JOKE.

mcyt'ers being revealed to be less-than-great people is not a rare thing, sadly, but i've seen it turned into a joke/meme/trend in other fandoms. this both minimalizes the actual people's/victims' struggles, makes the entire situation feel less serious than it is, especially to outsiders looking in, and makes everyone in the fandom look immature, petty, unable to take anything seriously, and genuinely harmful.

this server, fandom, and community are not dying, it is not ruined forever, this is one (major, i'm not trying to minimalize it) issue that we're currently dealing with. it will be okay. we will move on. this is not the beginning of the end. please calm down. i love this fandom, god bless all of you. <3

edit: doc has said on stream that we will likely get more information as time passes. like i said, this is a PRIVILEGE. we are not OWED information. please be grateful for what we're given, and POLITELY ask questions if you must. if a cc doesn't give you the answer you want, or doesn't answer at all, LEAVE THEM ALONE. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO HARASS PEOPLE. the hermits are likely just as stressed out as us, if not probably more so, so please keep that in mind when contacting them.

don't freak out, we'll be okay, this is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of Hermitcraft. we will be okay.

second edit: please remember that (at least as far as we know) ISKALL AND STRESS WERE NOT KICKED OR BANNED. THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN VOLITION.

ALSO!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!

WE. DO. NOT. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. HAPPENED.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING SIMPLY BASED OFF OF OTHER MCYT'ERS PAST ACTIONS/SCANDALS. WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE MIGHT NOT EVER KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT AND NOT DRAW OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

TWITTER LINKS TO VICTIM RESPONSES:

https://twitter.com/Kasszi_/status/1860670647946604985

https://twitter.com/emoslab_/status/1860697161245323559

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Seven x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the boys <3

HOMELANDER

This man hates you so fking much

Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague

Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you

However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.

He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"

Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.

You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.

"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.

"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates me—"

"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"

"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.

Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.

He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.

"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.

He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.

"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"

"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"

Compatibility? 50%

STARLIGHT

Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.

When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.

"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"

"Uh..."

You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.

"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"

Insert her groaning out of annoyance.

Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(

"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"

Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.

"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.

In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.

It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.

Compatibility? 60%

QUEEN MAEVE

You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning

Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions

"Deadpool! The hostages!"

"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"

Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)

Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.

There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.

Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.

Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.

Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.

Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.

You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?

Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'

Compatibility? 80%

THE DEEP

Your human punching bag

If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.

For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.

Just imagine him staring at you like 😐

To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.

"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"

"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"

You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.

Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.

"Happy April Fools 😚!"

"That's next month dipshit!"

Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.

"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.

Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.

Compatibility? 5%

A-Train

He thinks you're fucked up in the head.

Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF

Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.

You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.

Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.

Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.

"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"

"Dude... seriously?"

You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.

"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"

"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"

You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.

But it's fine you'll just grow back.

You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.

Compatibility? 55%

TRANSLUCENT

He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.

There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.

At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.

You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.

The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.

Never again, he thought, never again.

He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.

Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.

You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.

After all, he can read people well.

You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky

There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.

It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.

"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"

"You get used to it"

Compatibility? 85%

BLACK NOIR

Lovers.

He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.

No seriously... he can't talk.

But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.

"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.

You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.

He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.

Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.

He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.

"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"

You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.

Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.

"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"

He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.

He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.

"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.

You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.

One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.

You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.

Compatibility? 90%

(This took a while cause I was on vacation)

[lcriedlastnight]

Hi can i pls request a lando x reader where he mentions in many interviews that he wants an army of kids and the camara always pans to other drivers teasing reader

ofc you can baby <33 thanks for helping me celebrate! here's that kiss i promised xoxo

requests are open!

852 words.

it wasn't unknown that lando wanted kids. it's not like he went out of his way to to talk about having children either, he just went on half an hour tangents anytime an interviewer brought up the topic is all. you didn't find out just how many until you decided to ask him about it one night, not long after lando had gotten slandered on twitter for being 'obsessed' with having a mini version of himself running around.

"so.. you know how you've said you want kids?" you start, voice a little hesitant knowing he was a bit peeved about the bullying he was getting online for that very thing. if looks could kill you swear you would be a dead girl.

"don't you start." he groans, eyes rolling so hard to the of his head you thought they may get stuck.

lando, who had just gotten ready for bed, slips in beside you and you immediately know he's not actually pissed off at you because he is pulling your arm to get you as close to him as he physically could.

"i don't mean it like that, i just wanted to ask you about it." lando watches as you strain your neck up to be able to see his reaction from your very comfortable position on his chest. it does bring the smallest of smiles to his lips.

with a joking sigh he asks "what do you want to know?".

"well, i guess the most important one is-"

"if i want them with you?" lando interrupts, sending your brows into your hairline. you smack him on the back of the head and he just laughs like it was actually funny. dickhead.

"no! how many you want. but now i don't want any with you if they're going to turn out like you." you cross your arms over your chest, trying to convince him you actually were in a huff. a strong hand running down your front seconds after ruins your plans for any further annoyance though.

lando hums in thought before he answers your question. his hand now drawing random shapes on your hip bone.

"you're going to hate me when i say this, but i only really wanted a few maybe two max? but being with you? i want minimum four."

your gasp makes him wince. you're shocked, there is no way he is actually being serious. you tell him as much but he shakes his head and assures you just how serious he is.

"honestly baby. i want a big family with you."

his words may or may not rile you and you guys maybe get started on that big family that night, but you don't kiss and tell..

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

lando wasn't to hold back on his thoughts or feelings and with his rants about wanting to start a family were proof of this, well you had thought so. the next time you're at the paddock is the next time he's asked about starting a family. you're watching from the side with max and oscar as he gets interviewed and you can see the say his whole face lights up at the question, as if racing was a chore he was getting forced to do every few weekends and not the second favourite part of his life.

lando takes a quick glance in your direction before he starts and it's like your conversation on the topic opened the floodgates in lando's mind as he reveals his every thought on having a baby or two or ten.

"me and my girlfriend were talking about this and it made me realise i want a full on norris army of children behind me. i want minimum four with my girl. ideally two of each but wouldn't even complain if all i had was girls because then that means that there would be so much more of my girl out there in the world, and little parts of me i guess too." lando's smile is splitting and the interviewer smiles back at him, loving seeing him being so open and honest about it.

"would you encourage your little ones to get involved in karting and racing?" she enquires. you can already picture taking your imaginary children along to watch lando in his races. it does make your heart skip a beat or two.

as the interview continues, unbeknown to you and the other two drivers who are making kissy faces at pretending to cradle a child in their arms just to tease you and how much lando was infatuated with the idea of kids with you, the camera pans in your direction to get a nice reaction shot to your boyfriend's words.

all they capture is your bright red face, from the teasing and lando blunt words, and the boys childish behaviour.

that night is then filled with lando teasing (and comforting) you as it was now your turn to get teased on twitter, millions of fans already making your reaction a meme. you knew you'd never live it down and a small part of you was excited to explain the video and reaction picture to those future kids.

[yogurtkags]

❝ HUSH ❞ — sakusa kiyoomi

cw. f!reader, fluff, olympics au, athletic trainer!reader, timeskip characters, established relationship, secret marriage, language (omi swears like once), not beta read (sorry!) word count. ~ 1.6k

“japan’s outside hitter sakusa kiyoomi and newly revealed wife, athletic trainer y/n l/n, steals the spotlight in the city of love!”

@tetzoro's summer olympics collab

your eyes glance in his direction, letting it linger on his figure as the team settles down into their corner. he’s a little tense, understandably so– it’s his first time at the olympics, and with the pressure of the finals sitting on his shoulders, the nerves are showing, though carefully hidden behind his standard resting face that you can see through so well. the lights hanging along the ceilings of the south paris arena cast a tasteful warm glow along the contours of his face. despite the subconscious clenched jaw and slightly downturned lips that make you want to kiss the frown off so badly, there’s a shine in his eyes like no other.

the last few days have been pretty rough, of stiff beds, subpar food and sleeping without kiyoomi. you know he feels the same if the progressively increasing frequency of late night calls and texts are any indication. with the boys sharing rooms in twos amongst themselves and the rest of the team’s staff being housed in a separate wing of the building, falling asleep in his arms was a faraway thought since you arrived at the olympic village.

loml ♡ : miya snores so fuckin’ loudly i can’t handle this me : well it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve dealt with it baby loml ♡ : i still think we should’ve fought harder for us sharing a room

he drifts off into slumber easily after washing up and getting his fill of talking to you (never enough), the mental and physical fatigue of matches and practices in between taking a toll on his body, but for you, being wrapped in his warm embrace was the perfect recipe and vital to a good night's sleep. it’s safe to say that you haven’t been sleeping well for the past week.

it didn’t help that being sworn to secrecy about your relationship also meant that any interactions you had with him outside being the team’s athletic trainer was like treading on eggshells. it feels like you’re in high school again, sitting next to him in the dining hall during meal times with your clasped hands hidden under the table from watchful eyes, his thumb rubbing soft circles against the back of your hand or squeezing ever so often, as if to affirm his presence and silently reassure that i’m here.

it seems to be a trend lately for athletes to be active on their social media platforms, be it their team’s or just a personal account, recounting stories or even taking avid viewers through “a day in the life of an olympic athlete” — without looking too far, even miya jumped on the bandwagon, often seeing suna running around filming short clips of their shenanigans in free pockets of time during the day. you and kiyoomi talked about it before the season began, keeping any non-professional interactions to a minimum. there’s eyes everywhere and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

both of you are very private people, it was only natural that you preferred to keep your personal life and matters to yourselves behind closed doors. this ended up being a double-edged sword, because everyone wants to be all up in your business, especially kiyoomi who finds himself in the spotlight more often, being apart of the “young handsome eligible bachelors” of the MSBY 4 and now one of the most sought-after new additions to japan’s national team.

you on the other hand, were better known by twitter as “the pretty trainer” from the shweiden adlers and now the national team, standing next to another fan-favourite, iwaizumi hajime. thankfully your role is kept more so behind the scenes, checking on the players during games and making sure they remain in tip-top shape on and off the court.

being the quiet and brooding one amongst outgoing chatterboxes meant that the media would try to dig any information out of kiyoomi, but prying interviewers and prodding questions towards him and his love life were smoothly deflected and brushed aside, the boys even coming to his defense if anyone got too pushy with it, which you were beyond thankful for. not that they needed to most of the time, he’s known to be curt with his responses and quick to bring the topic back to the game, and no one likes a snappy sakusa anyway, many have learned this the hard way.

just months prior to the both of you getting called in to begin training for the olympics and before schedules start to pick up, you had a small private wedding in your hometown with just close friends and family, the ceremony kept under lock and key and tucked away from the public eye. it made it all the more intimate, more like a quiet gathering to celebrate your union than a grand spectacle, which suited you perfectly. the honeymoon hasn’t happened yet with the timing of everything, you’re saving it for post-season when you both can finally take a break and relax for a little while.

you won’t deny that there are some days where you wished that things were different, and that you could openly express your love for each other without scrutiny and attention being on you, but alas, that is to be expected as someone exposed to the public eye.

the olympics is your first public appearance as married individuals, not that anyone particularly cares about your status, their eyes instead zeroing in on kiyoomi and the chain around his neck carrying a shiny new silver band. it's safe to say that judging by the scowl on his face and the chatter buzzing around the front rows of stands as the team settles into their side of the court, his “mystery wife" is the new talk of the town.

when he comes over to you during timeout, his eyes meet yours bashfully as you hand him a bottle, fingers brushing against yours in an unspoken apology. you just smile and lightly pat his back as he turns to join the team huddle. there’s nothing to be sorry for, silly.

these little moments mean everything to you, even though it looks like nothing in the grand scheme of things. just being there with him and coming together with a shared passion even if it's in different fields of the broader spectrum of sport, fills you with a sense of happiness and content. watching him in his element and being able to support him on the sidelines through it all, you'd never trade that for the world.

and as you’re sitting at the edge of your seat with your bum hanging on for dear life, you lean forward with your hands pressed together, the top of your index fingers resting against the tip of your nose like a pseudo prayer. match point.

it feels like you’re watching the longest rally of your life and like a bad habit, your knee begins bouncing up and down in your nervousness and anticipation. iwaizumi too, is so engrossed in the play at hand that he doesn’t notice, or maybe he just doesn’t care enough in this moment to stop you with his usual slap to your thigh and a chiding comment, “stop it, even my grandma back in sendai can feel the tremours from your goddamn knees.”

with bated breath, you watch kageyama tosses one beautiful arc of a set to kiyoomi as he leaps into the air and makes contact with the ball.

with a powerful spike, he is a force to be reckoned with, sending the ball home as the opponents dive to save it, their arms hands and fingers stretching out in a last ditch attempt to connect and rescue the point, but to no avail. the ball lands with a harsh thud and as he stands tall above their groveling, the whistle blows and the crowds roar.

your arms instinctively raise in a cheer, and in the next moment they’re closed over your mouth, tears pricking your eyes as you stumble over your feet and scramble to get up. as the team rushes towards him with shouts of celebration, his eyes immediately dart in your direction, softening as he sees you dashing over. with knowing smirks and crescent moons for eyes, the boys follow his line of sight and give him firm slaps on the back, parting the hoard for you and giving just enough room for him to uncharacteristically swoop you up in his arms and crash his lips into yours, all caution thrown to the wind.

all the noise halts and time stands still, everything fades away and nothing else in the world matters in the moment, not the people, not the cameras, just the overwhelming rush of joy and pride, and love, oh love, swelling from the depths of your chest and your heart bursting at its seams.

your senses flood with everything kiyoomi, from the way the sweaty strands of his hair at the back of his neck feel on your fingertips, his cheeks dampening from your tears, the nudge of his nose against yours, and the press of his smile on your locked lips. he breathes out and you breathe him in, letting all of his being rest in the room in your heart saved specially for him, seeping into every corner of your soul.

when you inevitably pull apart for air, the current predicament doesn't exactly click in your mind just yet until he grabs your hand and pulls you into his side, shielding you from the onslaught of reporters and press looking to get a fresh scoop on the hottest piece of news. with blown out eyes, you look at him in a daze and disbelief, did that really just happen?

the smug smirk on his face says it all.

the matching silver bands on your finger and hanging around his neck, it was always there. for the longest time it was your little secret, and now a declaration of love and devotion — not even a shiny new gold medal could compare.

© yogurtkags. please do not repost, plagiarise, or translate my work.

[dejectedlozer524]

Ok it turns out I ain't fucking finished here because it seems like everyone has stopped fucking talking about how @predstrogen @predesterone literally faced targeted harassment from terfs, nazis and the lolcow forms for YEARS to the point of her having to remake multiple times because she kept getting deleted due to mass report spamming and no matter how much she reached out to staff to ask them to help her they NEVER FUCKING LISTENED, then to further rub salt in the wound the ceo decided to personally delete @predesterone and ban her from tumblr for life just because Rita made a joke post wishing that the ceo would die in a car hammer explosion, then despite Avery not being on tumblr anymore the ceo took it upon himself to personally stalk her to twitter and breach data protection laws by revealing a bunch of blank blogs Avery had for shits and giggles just so he could keep personally harassing her, all this just for people to turn Avery's multiple year long harassment into "Ha ha another social media ceo had a meltdown!!! XDDDD" "CAR HAMMER EXPLOSION!!! XDDD", none of you actually care about the suffering of trans women and it fucking shows, you all make me feel sick!!!

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ CONTENT CREATION (CL16)

pairing: charles leclerc x f!reader

summary: when ferrari hire a new content creator to help their social media presence, fans start noticing a certain friendship developing between her and their star driver.

*face claim: dina denoire (but please imagine her as you see fit)

scuderiaferrari just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by 209,885 people

scuderiaferrari we’re all smiling and relaxing on media days📸

view all comments

user who is taking such good photos when did ferrari care about their social media

user okay loving all this content we are getting lately but what changed admin

user charles wearing white jeans gives me anxiety

user ferrari cooking something

ferrari just posted a reel ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by 451,209 people

scuderiaferrari charles’ comments after the race have left us craving something 🍕

view all comments

user SO THAT WAS A GIRL’S VOICE RIGHT.

user IS THE NEW HIRE A GIRL

user so you DID hire a new media person… i knew all this content was too good to be true

ferrari just posted a tiktok ੈ✩‧₊˚

84k likes, 1.2k comments, 1k shares

video captions:

[carlos: is my person attractive?

charles *laughing*

carlos: that tells me everything!

charles: yes she is!

carlos: is it y/n then?

charles: i’m saying nothing]

ferrari charles and carlos play who am i featuring the members of our ferrari team!👀

top comments

user CHARLES WHAT DO U MEAN UR SAYING NOTHING.

user WHO IS Y/N AND WHY DOES SHE HAVE CHARLES LAUGHING LIKE THAT

user okay but carlos knowing he was immediately y/n from the way charles blushed👀 what does he know that we don’t she must be hot

user admin give us a y/n reveal💳💳💳

ferrari just posted a tiktok ੈ✩‧₊˚

39.8k likes, 415 comments, 890 saves

ferrari what time do our team arrive for our meeting?

top comments

user THIS IS THE FAMOUS Y/N???? SUDDENLY I UNDERSTAND CHARLES

user UMMM WHO IS THE GIRL

user double checking their team on the website it would appear she’s the content creator👀

user the one charles keeps mentioning???

user wait what time did the meeting start😭

yourusername 5… some of us were late

user IS THIS HER ACCOUNT BC IF SO…???? IM PANICKING SHES SO HOT

yourusername hi😭😭 yes this is me!!!

user oh my god she’s so hot

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧���˚

liked by charles_leclerc and 56,408 others

yourusername first few months of many travelling the world have been a dream. grazi ferrari❤️

view all comments

user FINALLY FOUND UR ACCOUNT IVE BEEN WANTING TO SCREAM ABOUT HOW HOT YOU ARE FOR AGES

user was so focused on you i didn’t even notice the photo of charles

charles_leclerc no photo credits?

yourusername WAH WAH WAH

user how does it feel to liVE MY DREAM

yourusername pretty incredible tbh

ferrari just posted a video ੈ✩‧₊˚

[video captions:

CARLOS: who is most likely to be late because they overslept?

CHARLES: *laughing* probably y/n. she’s always late. i don’t think i’ve seen her be on time to a single meeting yet. she’s also notoriously hard to wake up and sleeps through her alarms and being shaken!

CARLOS: *teasing* you speak from experience, no?

CHARLES: *laughing* i’ve definitely struggled to wake her up a few times!]

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

charles_leclerc just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 561,356 others

charles_leclerc enjoying the summer break

view all comments

user IS THAT Y/N?

user so ferraris content creator gets to see charles shirtless ? where do i apply

yourusername nO pHoTo CrEdItS?!😤😤😤

user GET HIM

user not to be that person but if they went on holiday together that means they probably shared a hotel room right…

user oh they’re totally doing it

user can’t blame her at all i would too

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by charles_leclerc and 98,406 others

yourusername some well deserved time off🫶

view all comments

user UMMM THE SECOND PHOTO??? ITS GIVING BOYFRIEND

user BESTIE WE ALL KNOW UR TOGETHER JUST MAKE IT OFFICIAL‼️

user this is confirmation in my head

formula1 just posted a video ੈ✩‧₊˚

[video captions:

CHARLES: y/n how do i look?

Y/N: you look alright.

CHARLES: just alright? oh my god my heart is broken.]

top comments

user WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR HEART IS BROKEN CHARLES WHY IS HER OPINION SO IMPORTANT TO YOU👀

user oh so they spend the whole summer break together and now they’re in love????

user charles and y/n just announce you’re dating already i beg

user a whole formula 1 video and the first thing charles thinks of is to ask for y/n’s opinion… yeah we’ve lost him guys

user fr and i can’t even blame him have you SEEN her

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by charles_leclerc and 98,406 others

yourusername thanks idiot for mentioning my name constantly on the internet. glad to know i’m always on your mind (you’re on mine too)

view all comments

user OH MY GOD I KNEW IT

user TEARS THEYRE SO CUTE

user not ferrari playing matchmaker😭

charles_leclerc i love you. sorry i had to scream about it, glad i can do it double time now

charles_leclerc just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 561,356 others

charles_leclerc shout out to ferrari for introducing me to the girl of my dreams and only being minorly annoyed when i decided to make her mine

view all comments

user SO REALLLL

user MOTHER AND FATHER!!! ITS OFFICIAL

user when will I have my fanfic worthy love story

carlossainz55 i can’t wait to third wheel for the rest of our career together

yourusername you love us really

carlossainz55 i do. i really do

—————

taglist (found here): @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @ironmaiden1313 @champagnelovers101 @alessioayla @hobiismyhopeu @mingkyungseokie @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @lucyysthings

as always, comments, likes, reblogs asks etc etc etc always greatly appreciated🫶 had a lot of fun w this one hehe

- giselle xx

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

I think it's genuinely concerning how sex-negative we, as a society, are becoming. (This post brought to you by a few tweets I saw)

Does no one else think it's genuinely worrying how if you even find a fictional character attractive, you're called a gooner, or a degenerate, or some other pejorative to indicate that being sexual in any way is gross and nasty and yucky? Why does art suddenly lack artistic value because it's sexual in nature? Why are we so obsessed with associating a core feature of the human condition with shame and guilt?

Even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. Every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to call you names if you dare speak anything slightly not-safe-for-work.

Like the people on twitter openly calling trans women degenerates and freaks for having an incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally, or lgbt-friendly, or a feminist, but get mad at a woman expressing her sexuality? Why does sexuality gross you out to the point you feel the need to demean people over it?

And where does it end? Are we going to start calling women who dress a little too revealing 'sluts' again? Are we going to ban sex scenes in movies? Start preaching abstinence, say sex outside of marriage is bad, that lust is immoral, and being gay is a sin?

I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people are generally children, and still in the "sex is gross" phase, but I know that's not the case with all of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing conservatism under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, I'm not sure) causing more harm than good.

I know we talk about puritanism and stuff all the time, but in my opinion, it's gotten to a point even the actual puritans didn't get to.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Suck My Balls | Kevin Magnussen x Mercedes! Reader

Summary: When you and Kevin collide on track, fans half-expect you to start attacking each other. That’s not… quite how it ends.

Warnings: 18+ after the cut. Male oral. Enemies to lovers. Not an original title but how could I call it anything else 

Requested: No, which makes it worse lol

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_ln just posted

liked by georgerussell63, hulkhulkenberg and others 

yn_ln starting p3 tomorrow, looking forward to going racing. in a position to push for a podium

2,044 comments

mercedesamgf1 that’s our girl! looking forward to a masterclass of overtaking 

georgerussell63 flaunting the gear, are we? yet you make fun of me when i post the tommy

→ yn_ln “flaunting the gear” and “post the tommy” this is why twitter say you have 0 aura

→ georgerussell63 @/mercedesamgf1 she’s being mean again 

→ user i love the 2019 rookies in merc

charles_leclerc you couldn't have gone a little slower and let me on the second row instead? 

→ yn_ln it’s against my contract to help pretty boys 

→ danielricciardo is that why you gave max a tow?

→ maxverstappen1 that was an accident! 

user she’s such a great starter. i bet she ends up leading by the second lap at least 

user yn podium incoming

→ user i think you mean yn win incoming 

→ alex_albon i can feel it in my bones 

→ yn_ln thank you my #1 fan

→ georgerussell63 so you steal my aura and my alex? 

user it’s a shame that yn’s time knocked nico into p11

→ user it's okay because haasband kevin magnussen will be committing war crimes to defend him 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

f1 posted a new story

18+

A throaty groan filled the room as nimble fingers tugged harshly on cropped blond strands. In response, his lips sucked on the pulse point below your ear. Kevin chuckled against your skin when your hips rolled eagerly against him.

“You’re not supposed to be enjoying this,” you spat, shoving him away from you.

“Skat, I have my thigh between your legs. There’s no way for me to not enjoy this.”

You rolled your eyes at the smug grin on his face, pushing him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the hotel bed. He let himself fall backwards with a soft thud. Tucking an arm behind his head, he watched your eyes track the flex of his bicep with a smug smirk.

“Don’t be an asshole. Or I stop.”

“Now that would be more disappointing than the DNF.” His words trailed off as he choked on his own breath. The palm of your hand pressing down harshly on the bulge in his jeans. “Fucking hell.” He groaned, throwing his head back.

“Do you really want to piss me off right now?”

Kevin lifted his head, blue eyes darkened and pink lips apart, breathing heavily. Your hand moved to the top of his jeans, popping open the button and revealing a glimpse of grey boxers. A dark spot had formed where his tip sat.

“Desperate, are we?”

“Do you ever shut up?” Kevin groaned, pink staining his cheeks.

“Only when my mouth’s full.”

“Then I suggest you get on with it.”

He lifted his hips, helping you to pull the denim down his thighs, giving up once they’d reached his knees. He watched eagerly, holding his breath as your fingertips reached for the waistband of his boxers. He squirmed when your fingers skimmed his stomach. His boxers are pulled down, freeing his cock. It slaps against his stomach, thick and heavy. The cool air paired with the way you’re looking at him sends goosebumps rippling across his thighs.

A stuttered breath left his lips when your hand wrapped around him. Slowly working him, you sink to your knees between his legs. Your hair tickles his thighs when you lean down to press a kiss to the bottom of his stomach.

“Don’t be such a tease,” he hissed.

You ignored him, trailing open-mouthed kisses down his thigh all whilst your hand pumped him. Your tongue licked a stripe up his balls, enjoying the way his body jolted beneath you.

“Fuck,” he grunted when you took his balls in your mouth, sucking slightly. You chuckled against him, sending vibrations through his balls. “Oh, shit.”

Your tongue trailed a line from his balls, up the underside of his shaft before wrapping your lips around his tip. Looking up, your eyes connected with his just as you sucked. Enjoying the way his head tipped back, you took more of him into your mouth before pulling back up. His hips bucked up, chasing your lips. Hollowing your cheeks, you bobbed up and down. His abs clenched when your tongue traced his slit, and you were rewarded with a throaty groan from Kevin. His hand reached for the back of your head, tangling in your hair. He hesitated for a moment, waiting for you to pull back. Pulling back up, your lips sucked gently on the head of his cock.

“You’re so beautiful.” Kevin whispered, pushing a strand of hair back from your face.

Using his hold on your hair, he pushed your head down further. His cock hit the back of your throat, and you gagged slightly. Your hand continued to pump what you couldn't reach with your mouth. Allowing Kevin to control the pace, you relaxed your jaw, taking more of him in when he pushed you down again.

“Shit, you’re so good at that. I’m so close.”

Encouraged, you suck harder, hand reaching down to cup his balls. With a slight squeeze, you let Kevin push your head down once more as he releases with a loud curse. Thick white ropes of cum paint your tongue, leaking from the side of your mouth.

“Oh, god. Oh, fuck. So good.” Kevin whimpered, sensitive as your mouth slid off him.

Hair dishevelled, cheeks pink, mouth wide open, looking spent and satisfied. You decided you could get used to this sight of Kevin.

“I told you that you’d like that.”

Before you could laugh at your own joke, you felt the world spin and your back landed on the white sheets. An involuntary wince escaped you, body bruised from your earlier crash. Kevin immediately scrambled back, off your body.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I forgot- and it’s my fault-“

Your arms reached out for him, yanking until he lost his balance, almost collapsing atop you. His arms fell beside your head, bracing him.

“Shut up. You’re not here to be nice. If I wanted nice, I’d have asked your teammate.”

“He couldn’t fuck you like I can.”

“Prove it.”

And, as Kevin reached down to yank your leggings away, a darkness in his eyes, you knew he would.

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_ln just posted

liked by kevinmagnussen, francisca.cgomes and others 

yn_ln it’s a shame some people don’t have better reaction times but the main take away from this weekend is that i’m okay. a little bruised and a lot disappointed. now for a little girly self care 

2,750 comments

landonorris oh god, my eyes (puke)

georgerussell63 blimey, warn a man first. not what i wanted to see 

→ yn_ln "blimey?" do you need to calm your nerves with a spot of tea?

alex_albon treat yourself, girly 

user i love how the 2019 rookies are together

→ user alex being the only supportive one

mercedesamgf1 we’ll see you on that top step soon enough, yn 

user not k mag liking this post whilst she shades him in the caption

→ user can you blame him. she’s thirst trapping

→ user he probably saw people on twitter talking about it and came to drool 

user being a passenger princess is the ultimate form of self care

alexandrasaintmleux loving the aesthetic 

→ user even the man?

→ alexandrasaintmleux especially 

charles_leclerc is the bath a good place to cry?

→ yn_ln yes

→ charles_leclerc can you show me how to make one like that?

→ yn_ln also yes. on my way 

lilymhe okay, i see you. treating yourself in more ways than one

→ yn_ln it definitely was more than one way 

→ landonorris filth!

user why aren’t more people freaking out about the fact that there is clearly a man touching her???

→ user thank you! like who is he? is this a soft launch or just miss thing flaunting the fact that she probably got railed after the grand prix

user anyone else think that tattoo looks a lot like kevin’s?

(picture 3 has been deleted) 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

Requests are open

No tags because this is smut and I don't know if all of you are comfortable with that :)

[formulafics]

★ THE JPG CHRONICLES | PART 2

Scenario: the long awaited jpg account from everyone’s favorite mclaren reserve driver is here. with her second and third post, yn accidentally strikes some confusion in the fandom.

Pairing: f1 grid x fem!reader

A/N: and the drama begins 🤭 who do you think the bf is? who do you want the bf to be? 👀 hope you guys enjoy!

PART 1 | PART 3 | PART 4

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, georgerussel63, and 234,762 others

yn.jpg user @/oscarpiastri is eepy and hungry

view all 3,421 comments

oscarpiastri idk how to feel about this one

⤷ yn.jpg you should feel honored to be featured on my account :)

formulanorris yn it’s a little past 9 pm…

⤷ yn.jpg sorry my bf was harassing me at that time.

⤷ formulanorris BOYFRIEND?

⤷ gretavanf1 …ain’t no way bro 💔 my wife has a boyfriend

piastrispastry yn said “be there at 9” then showed up at 2 am

⤷ rizzciardo she just like me fr

papayabull does this mean oscar is this weeks favorite boy?

⤷ yn.jpg yes but he doesn’t get full credit. we were going strong and then he hurt my feelings (he said he wouldn’t go out to eat with me)

⤷ oscarpiastri because zak brown, my boss, told me i had to be at work. key words: boss, work.

⤷ yn.jpg you hate me. it’s fine.

logansargeant every day i fear that i’ll be on this account

⤷ yn.jpg your time will come don’t worry

⤷ logansargeant i’m scared

norrisnation ARE WE IGNORING THAT YN SAID “bf”

⤷ sainzchili yes bc she’s silly and probably was joking

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, alex_albon, daniel3.jpg, and 254,678 others

yn.jpg two posts in one week? 😱 crazy, ik. anyways, here’s a lil appreciation post for the boy who’s taught me all i know about photography. <3

view all 3,458 comments

norrisnation THESE ARE SO CUTE

landonorris i didn’t know you were capable of taking good pictures

⤷ yn.jpg i didn’t know you were capable of being funny - oh. you aren’t.

⤷ formulanorris LMFAO I AM SCREAMING THIS IS SO FUNNY i love yn 😭

norrisnation …is this a bf reveal?

⤷ yn.jpg nah lando is just my bestest friend in the world and i love him

⤷ rizzciardo yn and lando are my favorite friendship :( they’re my kids, i feel like a proud mom

landaurnorris this is a lil TOO appreciative for yn and lando 🤨 i think this is the announcement team

⤷ norrisnation she said no 💔 i thought they’d be cute together

⤷ formulapapaya if you ask me, she and oscar are dating. i’m 100% convinced

⤷ rizzciardo i need a full twitter thread abt this rn or else

⤷ formulapapaya BET. i will literally start working on it now because i’ve believed in oscyn for so long now 🤭

🏷️ | @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @renarots @minkyungseokie @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[walpu]

hii, first of all, sorry for my bad english

this may sound weird, but lately i've been thinking of aventurine turning in a cat. like, for some strange reason (maybe during a mission), he turned in a cute little cat. and since reader doesn't know he's a cat, he feels free to enjoy all reader's affection, and maybe to let his emotions win and cry while being caressed. and then he turns human and he's crying enough to fill a swimming pool. idk if i explained well :(

tysm, i love love love your works!! ❤︎

AWWW THIS IS SUCH A CUTE REQUEST and don't worry your English is perfectly fine! It's not my native language as well so I get the struggle tho

I love making my faves cry so there's a possibility that I've got a bit carried away lol

taking care of cat!Aventurine

edits by @keisieudeptry on twitter

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort, a lot of cuddles, n̷̳͙͊͛õ̵̩͓ ̸̧͉̓b̶̳́̎e̵̖͋͊ṭ̴̩̔ȧ̵̪͚̕

Aventurine

Listen, he's always on alert okay. This man rarely allows himself to relax, especially when he's on another one of his business trips.

And he knows what to expect. Lies, attempts on his life, threats etc. He has seen it all.

But this. This. This is something new. Of course anything can happen when you're dealing with The Masked fools but this? Being turned into a cat? In what place this is even funny? It is kinda funny tho just not for Aven

He knows better than to panic. Yes, being turned into a tiny orange cat was not a part of his plans. Yes, this is probably the most defenseless and vulnerable state he's been in since his childhood. Yes, this sucks. But hey not like panicking will change anything.

Instead he just sits in the corner, feeling incredibly anxious and dreadful. His only hope is that this shapeshifting trick won't last for long.

A huge wave of relief washes over him when he sees a familiar person. And not just any person but you. The only person who can put his restless mind at ease, at least for a short time. He wouldn't mind seeing Topaz or Ratio too but it's much better when it's you.

He quickly realizes, however, that his joy was premature. He can't communicate with you! And you don't know that this is him! So the only thing poor Aven can do is follow you around and... meow. It's almost humiliating. Too bad he doesn't have time to care.

Soon enough you give up at finally pick up the oddly familiar cat. Every time you try to put the cat down it starts meowing and running after you so the only thing you can do is pick it up and carry around like a potato.

And you know how it is with cats, once you put your hands on one you can't stop petting it. You run your fingers through the cat's fur absently, while checking you phone for any messages from Aventurine. Hugging the cat, pressing your face to it's soft fur. Something about it surely reminds you of Aven. The thought, no matter how childish it is, brings a small smile on your face.

And poor, poor Aven. For so long he's been longing for your touch while laying awake at night, his poor heart flattered every time your fingers brushed against his. He wants wants wants to melt into your embrace yet this is not allowed for him.

How can he ask for it without exposing the deepest and darkest parts of his soul. How can he open his heart to you without reveling all the ugly, fragile parts.

He wants to be open with you, he really does. Yet it's so unreasonably hard. Would you kiss his head like you do now if you would know how empty he is inside? Would he be able to press his forehead into you palm, asking for more more more without feeling exposed?

In a way, it's good that right now he's in this form. He doesn't really have to think about anything, doesn't have to feel anxious about revealing too much. He can just enjoy in.

You two fall asleep just like that and he doesn't have to overthink, he can just crawl to you side, nuzzling up to you.

You can't help but notice that the kitten in your arms is trembling slightly. And when you pull it closer in order to provide some warmth and comfort it just purrs and meows pitifully. Almost like it's… crying.

Now listen. I'm 100% sure Aven is a light sleeper. So there's no way he won't wake up from a loud gasp and a lot of movements near him.

Well. Seems like the shapeshifting trick the masked fool pulled on him lasted only for 12 hours. And now he lays on the couch in his human form while you look at him with the wide eyes.

Awkward.

His initial reaction is to laugh it off. "Surprised, dear? It's a shame you can't see your own face right now ha ha". Would explain the whole situation, trying to make it seem like it was not a big deal. No mention of you cuddling session tho. Max he would say is "my, my, didn't know you where such a cat person".

However, his smile freezes immediately when you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Well. Here goes all of his feigned confidence.

Here is this feeling again. Your warmth, you scent, the comfort your touch brings. You telling how you started to get worried and how relieved you are that he didn't get hurt. It cuts so deep, makes him feel so exposed yet so needed. Loved even.

At first he doesn't even get it why your eyes get even wider, why a look so lost and worried all of the sudden. Only when your hands hesitantly cup his cheeks and you ask him what's wrong he realizes that there are tears in his eyes.

You know those tears when they just drop from your eyes and it's not like you're hysterical or crying uncontrollably but the tears just keep coming and coming and the more you try to calm down , the worse it gets? Yeah, him.

Would almost automatically tell you that everything is fine. When you confront him, pointing out that he's literally crying, will get even more confused than you. "Hah, seems like you're right, dear" he says with a small smile, giving up on the idea of hiding it from you. After all, it's too late for that anyway.

It feels... not even humiliating, no. It's weird, scary even, to be so open around someone. To be stripped of his mask so suddenly.

And yet he doesn't have time to care when your hands hold him oh so tenderly, when you cup his face and ask him what's wrong.

"Nothing, nothing, really. Just getting a bit sentimental here. Just... hold me like that for a bit more, 'kay?" he manages to whisper with a faint smile before pressing his face in the crook of your neck.

God feeling his tears on your skin feels so surreal. And heartbreaking too.

With each tender touch he gets even more emotional, to the point when he literally chokes on his own tears. Please hold him, run your fingers through his hair, kiss the top of his head.

He just doesn't get it, it feels so good to be held by you, why does his stupid heart hurts so much then?

Honestly he didn't cry for so long and there are so many repressed feelings, just let him let it all out.

He'll probably fall asleep in your arms, feeling very exhausted after the sudden emotional outburst. In the morning would act like nothing has happened, making some dismissing comments about him being a bit overdramatic last night. Don't let him withdraw into himself but don't push him to open up too much as well.

Just touch him more often from now on, especially when he looks like he had a bad day. And eventually he'll turn into your lap cat, reaching out for your warmth himself with or without reason.

"You're being clingy again" "Am not <З" all while sitting on your lap.

You've domesticated him so good luck.

[cuntressgoingdigital]

in honor of the mma! abby x model! reader fic that is rotting in my drafts, i desperately wanna talk about the cute shit yall get into while pretending you're not dating - pt 2 if you care

free palestine! click this link for more info

☆ abby is so aggressively offline, but you are chronically online. in particular, you’re a livestream fiend. it’s a cute way to interact with your fans and it passes time while you’re getting ready for events. you two spend so much time pretending you aren’t together, but on more than one occasion people have screenshotted a figure that looks like her in the background. buff, long blonde hair, kind of tall, she’s hard to miss. you take delight in fucking with people so whenever people ask in your comments you reply with a quick

“no that’s the ghost that haunts my apartment. she’s nice though.”

☆ re: you enjoy fucking with people, once your relationship status was official and you two had settled, you’d post pictures of the two of you out at dinner captioned with some variation of “just a couple of besties”. abby doesn’t get the joke at all, but is happy to participate. 

☆ paparazzi are constantly up your ass, and one day when you’re on what you thought was a secluded beach with abby, they snap a picture of abby kissing you along your neck, your fingers wrapped in her long blonde hair. then, someone leaked the address of the hotel you’d be staying at and you were bombarded by fans at the door. one of them screams at you “was that a picture of you and abby on the beach?”

thinking quickly on your feet, you respond “i haven’t been to the beach in years.” an obvious lie, but it sold the idea that you weren’t going to talk about it. 

☆ celebrity blind items are constantly being released, revealing details of your personal life. you have no idea who on your team is running their mouth, but there were plenty of worse things that could be revealed to the public. 

this A- list model was caught at the club sucking face with this rookie alliterative alphabet fighter. sources are saying they’ve been together for months, but neither are willing to confirm on or offline.

☆ finally, about a year into your relationship you and abby concoct this ridiculous hard launch for your relationship status. abby’s in las vegas for a pretty important main card fight. not a title fight, but she was still new on the scene and was trying to establish her relevance. she gets a devastating first round knockout with the nastiest punch to the jaw that you’ve seen in a minute. 

the crowd is in an uproar when the announcer and her team flood the octagon. they ask the standard “how do you feel?”, “do you have anything you wanna say to the fans?” 

then came the question she was waiting for. “what are you going to do once you get out of the octagon?” 

“i’m gonna go call my girlfriend.” she chuckles between sharp exhales, still riding the adrenaline from the fight. “she’s the first voice i wanna hear after every fight. she couldn’t be here tonight because she’s off in milan, but i know there’s no way she missed this.”

of course you were watching. it was no secret that you were a ufc fan. you’d been caught front row in the stadium a few times. even if abby wasn’t fighting, you tried not to miss the pay per view events. 

an hour later a photo was uploaded on your instagram of you holding your phone to your ear, still in your pajamas with the caption

absolutely loving milan <3 

it took very little time for “WE WERE RIGHT!” to start trending on twitter.

i WILL be writing more of them don't worry. idc if only 3 people like this, more is coming :P

[ashen-char]

lights, camera, action 🔞

ship: max fox (better things) x afab reader

content: explicit smut, OnlyFans content creation, pussy inspection :)

summary: your girlfriend, max, has an OF and you're her lucky co-star

word count: 1200+

notes: requested here a long time ago and i've tried to write this au a LOT with a bunch of different ideas. so look out for future parts of this. OF-girl!Max i love you so much

You lay naked on the bed, flushed and breathless. Your chest heaves and your lungs feel like they're burning but it's worth it. So, so worth it to belong to her.

You're not used to bottoming. Usually you prefer Max's thighs squeezing your face as you lap at her, bringing her to the edge over and over. But Max had complained that her OnlyFans followers (or subscribers, as she corrected you once) kept calling her a bottom, a pillow princess. And while your sweet, lovely girl is many things (a pillow princess definitely being one of them), she is stubborn to a fault and with this constant need to prove herself. Not that she ever needs to prove anything to you or her followers.

So she flicked the camera on, and her fingers ruined you again and again. Max had told you that she got her nails clipped just for you to feel nice and special. Ever since she started her OnlyFans, she realised how important it is to keep some things personal. To feel like your relationship is still between the two of you even if it's plastered online, both on her Twitter for promo and on OnlyFans (for a very affordable deal of $5 a month!).

Now in the aftermath, you feel raw and exposed. Every inch of your skin is hyper-aware of her touch, of her eyes physically on you and the hundreds that will eventually see this. Curiously, you wonder if this is how Max always feels. After filming, after you rearrange her insides with a strap, after obsessively reading all her comments. Max's eyes roam over your body, dark with lust and possessiveness.

"Spread your legs for me, baby," she commands, her voice low and rough. "I want to see what my fingers did to you."

You obey without hesitation, parting your thighs to reveal your most intimate places. Max kneels between your legs, her gaze zeroing in on your pussy.

"Fuck, look at that pretty little cunt," she groans, reaching out to spread your lower lips open with her fingers. "So pink and swollen, just like I imagined."

You squirm at her touch, at her words that are so much filthier when the camera's rolling. You're still sensitive and you tell her as much, hissing "careful" as she peels apart your sticky labia.

"I know, I know." Max's fingers are gentle but firm, exposing you to both her hungry gaze and her lens. "Your hole's so cute," she murmurs, circling your entrance with the tip of her finger. "Puffy and stretched out. You were made for me, weren't you?" She giggles. "Made for the camera too. You're a natural, baby!"

You bite your lip, a whimper escaping your throat. Max's words turn you on almost as much as her touch. You can feel yourself growing wet again, your body responding despite the tender ache between your thighs.

"Gonna take some pics too," Max announces, grabbing her phone. "Want to remember this perfect pussy."

Excited, she positions herself between your spread legs, the camera aimed directly at your core. Your heart races, wondering if you bit off more than you could chew when you promised to help her make content all those months ago. You hadn't quite imagined this situation. At most, you thought you'd help her use her toys, keep the camera angled right. Fluff her pillows or something, you didn't know! Eventually, Max convinced you to co-star.

You've never done anything like this before, never let anyone see you so intimately, in such a debauched and ruined state. Hell, you don't think you've been this ruined before. But with Max, it feels right. Natural, even. You trust her completely.

"Smile for me, baby," Max encourages, snapping a few shots. "Show me how much you love having your hole photographed."

You groan but manage a shaky grin, your cheeks burning with embarrassment and an odd sense of pride. You don't think your pussy is anything special but Max seems to and she's the professional. Besides, you've seen what she posts (and the nudes you received way before her OF hustle) so you know she'll make it art.

"Who says I love this?" you mutter under your breath, "I'm only doing this for you." But still, you take initiative and spread yourself wider, giving Max and her fans the best possible view. And in return, she hums approvingly, zooming in close to capture every detail. Under the ring lights and her scrutiny, you feel thoroughly inspected.

"Fuck, your little clit is so cute," she remarks, shifting the focus. "All puffy and begging to be sucked."

"Shut up and do it already," you whimper, hips twitching involuntarily.

You want it. You hadn't known you'd want it, not this much. Normally when Max is underneath you, the thoughts of your own pleasure are secondary. It's enough to make her feel good. But this is another need entirely, an itch that won't be satisfied until her mouth is between your legs again.

Max chuckles. "Patience, baby," she murmurs, moving back up to your entrance. "Gonna make you cum on my tongue before I'm done. OK? Just 'cause you did such a good job!"

She dives in without any more warning, her mouth hot and wet against your sensitive flesh. You cry out, back arching off the bed and legs shaky. Max licks and sucks at your folds, her skilled tongue delving deep into your hole.

You tangle your fingers in her hair, holding her close as she positively, ruinously devours you. The sounds are so lewd. The slick slides of her tongue licking you out, her lips smacking as she suckles your clit.

"Please!" The word falls out of your mouth, which stays agape as you struggle to breathe.

Pleasure builds rapidly, coiling tight in your belly. Your muscles are all tense. So sensitive, so close to the edge already. Your mind hazily tries to remember what round this would even be. Her nails dig into your thighs and the memory of how those fingers had played with you makes you feel feral. Fuck. Oh, fuck.

"You're fucking delicious, babe," she mumbles against your sloppy cunt. The words are all muffled but it makes this vibration against your core which starts this inexplicable tingle. You didn't know you could feel this good. You start thinking of hooking her up to a vibrator and overstimulating her to make it up to Max.

"Max!" you gasp, your thighs starting to tremble. "I'm gonna- fuck, I'm cumming!"

Max doubles her efforts, sucking hard on your clit as she thrusts two fingers knuckle-deep into your cunt. You shatter, your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave.

You thrash beneath her, incoherent with ecstasy. The faint taste of blood tells you that in the midst of all this you must have bitten your tongue or your cheek to stop from crying out too loudly. Something about the audio levels peaking. Through it all, Max continues her assault, working you through your climax and into another. By the time your girlfriend finally pulls back, you are nothing but a boneless, mewling mess.

"My subscribers are gonna love this," Max tells you with an impish grin and a sweet kiss. "Almost as much as I love you, baby."

[fireflyinks]

ooc ep with mandy hamzah and martin then hamzah introduces u as his gf 👀👀 twitter insta tiktok etc is going crazyyyy abt it too

girlfriend reveal (hamzah edition)

hamzah x reader

a/n : not sure if i love or hate this but here it is!! sorry i haven’t been as active I SWEAR im trying to get to your requests!! this was such a good idea and lmk if you want me to write a version but with y/n being a content creator as well. much love!

contains : a little fluff, slight cursing (literally just bs), cuteness, hard launching

I rocked back and fourth on my heels, standing directly beside the camera’s view. Anticipation and nervousness swirled in my stomach.

It probably wasn’t as big of a deal as I was making it, I knew that, but my nerves were still going buck-wild.

After three months of dating, Hamzah was introducing me as his girlfriend on the podcast today. We both wanted to wait until it was the right time, and we had finally decided that it was now or never.

YouTube was a ginormous part of Hamzah’s life, so the thought of his fans not approving of me was a big fear of mine. He’d assured me that they would love me, but I knew that he couldn’t be sure of that fact.

After about three minutes of rambling on about something pointless, Hamzah finally cleared him throat.

“We also have a special guest this episode. Please welcome, my beautiful girlfriend, y/n.”

I walked into frame, sitting beside Hamzah on the already crowded couch. Mandy and Martin clapped at my entrance, and I giggled nervously. This was a weird feeling for me, since I normally wasn’t this shy.

Hamzah handed me a mic he had bought specially for this episode, since normally they only had three people on at a time and didn’t own a fourth mic. He also put an arm around me, which helped calm my nerves a small bit. Hamzah’s touch could almost always make me feel better. I guess it was a good thing then that I was basically sitting on his lap due to limited space on the yellow couch.

“Hello,” I spoke into the microphone, smiling sheepishly.

“Introduce yourself.” Hamzah encouraged. He was taken aback by my shy demeanor as well.

“I’m y/n, Hamzah’s girlfriend…” I racked my brain for other facts about myself, but nothing came to mind.

Mandy chimed in, “We finally managed to get Hamzah a girlfriend guys, this is a rare sighting.”

I laughed along with Mandy and Martin, and Hamzah just rolled his eyes.

“You did not manage anything, I got her myself.”

“Bullshit, I’m the one who introduced you two.”

It was true, Mandy and I had worked together for about a year now and she was constantly telling me about how I needed to meet Hamzah, how well we would get along. Finally, she planned a night for us all to hang out, and we just kind of clicked.

“Yeah, Mandy is actually a really good match maker.” I nodded.

Mandy shrugged, “You are both socially awkward so I thought you’d be perfect for one another. And I was right, of course.”

Some time went on, and my nerves slowly started to dissolve. After about an hour, we finished filming, and Hamzah drove me home.

“So…” he began, looking out at the road as he drove, “how’d you feel about that?”

I shrugged, “I was really nervous at first but I think it turned out okay.”

Hamzah placed his hand on my thigh, “I promise, you have nothing to worry about. Everyone will love you.”

—

Hamzah posted the video the next day, and I couldn’t get myself to read the comments or open any social media until I got home from work, five hours later.

I sighed, sitting down on my couch and fumbling with my phone, opening YouTube and pressing on the new episode, entitled “Girlfriend Reveal (Hamzah Edition)”, which happened to the first video on my feed. The intro music began to play.

There were already 500 comments.

awww they’re literally perfect for eachother ❤️

where is the Hamzah to my Y/n

the way hamzah looks at her…

I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I read the kind comments.

I commented a quick heart on the video before moving on to TikTok. My feed was already mostly slushy noobz clips, so I wasn’t surprised when I was the first thing I saw after opening the app.

It was the clip of Hamzah introducing me as I tried to fit next to them on the small couch, with “Margeret” by Lana Del Rey playing in the background softly. The comments were just as positive as the ones on YouTube.

OMG?

wait she’s like genuinely so pretty

they’re so socially awkward together, it’s perfect

Last but not least was Twitter, which scared me the most. I knew that if anyone would have a problem with me, they would most likely express it on Twitter.

I opened the app, and went to search, to be met with “Hamzah’s New Girlfriend” trending. This was either a very good thing or an extremely bad thing.

I clicked on it, and began reading some of the tweets under the hashtag.

hamzah’s new girlfriend is literally so gorgeous, im actually obsessed with the two of them together

hamzah’s new girlfriend genuinely seems so sweet, my heartttt 🥹🥹🥹

“thank you mandy”, we say in unison, hamzah and his new gf are literally PERFECT

Suddenly, there was a quick knock at the door. I got up to answer, wondering who it was. Hamzah was filming a video with Martin and Mandy had told me earlier that she was getting her nails done after our shift.

I opened the door, being met with a bouquet full of colorful assorted flowers. My heart felt as if it could burst. I picked them up, grabbing the paper tag on them to read it.

I knew they would love you - Hamzah

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

[verstarppen]

summary; the relationship isn't as secretive as you think it is.

pairing; logan sargeant x fem! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; gm everyone, god has let me live another day and i'm about to make it everyone's problem; this one's for my logan girlies you deserve it 🫶

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 2,001 others

ynusername It's hyyyyydromatic

view all 317 comments

georgerussell63 A little late out and about, aren't we?

ynusername sorry mom

typicallyleclerc who is this girl and why are all the drivers following her??

goosestappen childhood friend of oscar and logan's

alex_albon that's not the lights out and away we go he's supposed to be doing

ynusername girl who is "he" is "he" in the room with us rn

liked by alex_albon, williamsracing, logansargeant and 8,140 others

ynusername williams sweep <3 thank you for keeping me around like a kicked dog in need of a shelter during a thunderstorm <3

view all 2,679 comments

williamsracing Oddly specific 🤨

ynusername i love you, underpaid gen z admin &lt;3

oscarpiastri Banned from Mclaren.

ynusername let me in let me innnn

logansargeant Only one photo of me??

oscarpiastri Any reason why there should be more? ynusername i'm an alex girlie logansargeant But I'm oscarpiastri Finish the sentence, Logan.

alex_albon LET'S GOOO

ynusername sorry for being obsessed with you, it will happen again alex_albon thank you but your boyfriend is whining beside me ynusername idk who you're talking about what boyfriend what's a boyfriend never heard of that word in my life idk who this man is

liked by williamsracing, ynusername, oscarpiastri and 87,960 others

logansargeant Beach date! 😎

view all 10,909 comments

oscarpiastri And who are we dating, exactly?

logansargeant Oh you wouldn't know her, she goes to another school

redbullpapaya holy shit i'm watching a rookie soft launch what a time to be alive

applenorizz "liked by ynusername" okay

ynusername oscar is this your burner account

nandogoat GF REVEAL WHEN

lionkingseb this is so y/n coded

osc_pastry oh my god i thought people on twitter were joking THIS IS SO CUTE

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial, georgerussell63 and 35,291 others

ynusername party rockers in the house tonight

view all 2,827 comments

georgerussell63 One year closer to becoming a wine aunt

ynusername 🥹 nicest thing you've ever said to me georgie

oscarpiastri it's "party rock is"

landonorris I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU 🗣️

ynusername BUT I'M FEELING 22 🗣️🗣️

fernandoalo_oficial Happy Birthday!

ynusername Thank you grandpa ily 🫶🥰

logansargeant Nowhere in sight. Again.☹️

alex_albon probably because you two were gone for half the party? oscarpiastri Suspiciously. ynusername ACCUSATIONS. FALSE ACCUSATIONS.

liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 13,211 others

ynusername since we're talking about not being included in your significant other's posts how about the fact that i'm always behind the camera?????

view all 4,546 comments

oscarpiastri Someone has to be skilled enough to get my good angles

logansargeant You are my entire camera roll??

ynusername POST THEM

georgerussell63 Thank god, we can all stop pretending it wasn't painfully obvious you two are dating

alex_albon you haven't seen what i've seen, my child

bbglewis DID THEY JUST CONFIRM THEY'RE DATING??

pierrette OH

mcmango your what now's posts

albon_goated quick everyone act surprised

liked by landonorris, liamlawson30, logansargeant and 10,924 others

ynusername proud to announce i hit that

view all 6,242 comments

landonorris thanks i didn't need to know that keep that shit to yourself

ynusername you love us, actually

logansargeant Oh, I'm on every slide? Generous.

ynusername 🙄 sleeping on the couch tonight

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

[blueblossomrose]

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Content: DUBIOUS HUMOR, Alastor and reader have a weird asf relationship, that doesn't seem romantic but is clearly not platonic either, Morningstar!Reader, Reader is based on my Hazbin Hotel oc actually. Typical Hazbin Hotel canon swearing, violence, and sexual innuendo, but nothing out of this. Writing about Alastor is weird but also so fun sm

Notes: This fanfic has been rotting in my drafts since the beginning of the year and only now have I found the courage to finish it 🙌

Alastor arts are from limajey25 on twitter, because i love Alastor more in their style.

Comments and reblogs are very welcome ♡

The “daylight” in Hell had a singular quality. There was no actual sun, but the perpetually crimson sky cast a dull glow that filled the hotel hallways.

[Name] sat at the dining room table, curling her fingers around a steaming mug of coffee. She was still wearing simple pajamas.

Alastor sat across from her, looking impeccably dressed as always, his smile wide and fixed. He looked out of place at the table, but somehow, at the same time, perfectly at ease.

“You look tired, my dear,” he commented, tilting his head slightly. His voice echoed with that familiar lilt. “And, might I add, rather… listless! Is something disturbing your sleep?”

[Name] let out a low sigh, blowing steam from her mug. “Yes,” she admitted, not looking directly at him. “I’ve been having nightmares... lately, they’ve been more intense.”

“Ah!” Alastor exclaimed, his ears perking up slightly, indicating his interest. “Nightmares, huh? How fascinating! I’d love to hear more about it!”

She finally looked up at him, frowning. “Fascinating? I don’t know how fascinating that can be. They’re horrible, Al.”

He tilted his head to the other side. “Horrible to you, maybe. But to me, nightmares reveal the true essence of a person! It’s fascinating to know what your mind can conjure up when you’re vulnerable, untethered by your conscience. So tell me, my dear… what exactly has been tormenting you?”

She hesitated, biting her lower lip. “It’s not… specific things,” she began. “It’s more of a feeling. Like I’m being pulled into places I can’t escape. Places I don’t understand. People I trust… become something I don’t recognize.”

Alastor was silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on her as if he were analyzing her every word. “Interesting,” he murmured, before spreading his hands in a theatrical gesture. “But, my dear, dreams are nothing more than tricks of the mind! A distorted reflection of your fears, perhaps? Or,” he smiled a little wider, “of repressed desires?”

She blushed instantly, shaking her head. “i-it’s nothing like that! It’s just… they make me uneasy, like I can’t even trust my own subconscious.”

“Which is quite common around here, I must say!” Alastor laughed, the sound echoing around the room. “Trust, especially in yourself, is a luxury in Hell. But tell me,” he leaned a little closer, his eyes shining. “Do these dreams involve anyone in particular? Perhaps… a mysterious, charming figure, perhaps with a charming voice?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, stifling a nervous laugh. “Are you asking me if I have nightmares about you?”

He leaned back in his chair, placing a hand theatrically over his chest. “Me? My dear, I would never suggest such a thing! But I must admit, it would be flattering. After all, inducing chills and terror is one of my specialties!”

She snorted, but couldn’t help the smile that escaped. There was something oddly comforting about Alastor’s way of handling everything – he could always make it… less overwhelming if really want to.

“No, you haven’t appeared in my dreams,” she finally replied. “But honestly, now that you mention it… I hope you don’t. I think that would be even scarier!”

Alastor laughed, but the sound held something slightly forced, a momentary glint of something darker passing through his eyes before it disappeared. "Ah, my dear, do not underestimate my ability to leave a mark... even in your dreams."

For a moment, her smile faltered. There was something in his tone that made her uneasy. But then he stood up, breaking the mood.

It was strange, considering that [Name] was not raised in hell, so even though she was MUCH older than Alastor chronologically speaking, he had more experience than her in almost everything, considering the sheltered upbringing she had in heaven.

Hell was something totally new to her and maybe that was the reason for the nightmares? Her mind trying to adapt to the chaos that had been the last few months as she dealt with several different things within this nefarious environment?

"But if you need a good conversation, I'm open to dialogue! After all, a good radio host also knows when to listen." Alastor comments, so casually that it even scares her.

"Uh- thank you, Alastor..."

He leaned forward slightly, as if in a gesture of respect. "Well, my dear, it's the least I can do. After all, there's nothing more intriguing – or amusing – than your human... or almost human dilemmas."

And with that, he left the room, whistling an old tune as she stood back, staring at her mug and wondering if she should ask Charlie to help her, when Angel walked past her to grab the coffee pot.

"Hah, you've been talking to the strawberry pimp a lot, huh?" Dust said with an amused smile after pouring the coffee into the cup.

"Strawberry pimp?" It took her a while to realize he meant Alastor. "Oh..."

It was late at night, most of the staff in their rooms, lost in sleep. The hotel lounge was lit only by the dim red light of a few old-fashioned lamps. Alastor was sitting in his usual armchair enjoying the silence of the night, elegantly leaning back, legs crossed, eyes closed in relaxation, when [Name] came running in, sobbing and with tears in her eyes.

She practically threw herself at his feet, clinging to the hem of his impeccable red coat. He tilted his head down quickly in mild fright, arching an eyebrow as he looked at her like someone watching a cat asking for attention.

"My dear, why the commotion at this time of night?" he asked with an exaggerated sigh, but something in his expression suggested that he was genuinely slightly worried.

"A-Al!" she sobbed. "I-I had a terrible nightmare!"

"Ah, nightmares again, is that it?" He waved his hand as if dismissing the seriousness of the matter. "Now, darling, dreams are nothing more than fragments of disjointed imagination. They can't hurt you."

"Y-you don't understand!" she whimpered. "I-It was so horrible and it felt so real!"

He rolled his eyes with a face only he could make, shaking his head slightly. "And what could be so horrible, hm? Some buffet without desserts?"

She looked up, her eyes filled with tears and a glint of genuine terror. "Y-You were a pimp!"

Alastor's smile froze in place. His eyes widened instantly, but he remained completely still, like a statue. If it weren't for the low static now emanating from him, she would have sworn he had ceased to function entirely.

"A-Alastor?" she called hesitantly after choking back a sob, waving a hand in front of his face. No response.

An hour later, Charlie, Angel Dust, Vaggie, Husk, and Nifty had gathered around Alastor, now in a catatonic state. The only thing emanating from it was intermittent static and the occasional low-pitched radio noise.

"D-Dad..." [Name] sniffed into the phone.

On the other end of the line, Lucifer's sleepy voice answered. "Hello...?" He yawned. "Hi, sweetie. Why are you calling me at this hour?... W-Wait, are you crying?! What's wrong, my girl?"

"D-dad..." she sniffed again, looking at Alastor, who remained motionless. "I think I broke Alastor!"

"Broke? What do you mean you broke him? Literally?"

"Y-yes, literally! He's been standing still, making nothing but static and hasn't moved for an hour!"

On the other end of the line, Lucifer said after a short pause. "... Have you tried... turning it off and on again?"

"I tried!" she complained, desperate. "Nothing works! He's still like this!"

"Bang him over the head and see if that helps," Husk suggested, holding up a half-empty beer bottle.

"Husk, please, Al is not an old television!" Charlie said.

"It works for me," Husk replied, shrugging.

"We could try another-" Charlie was cut off when Angel smacked Alastor hard on the head.

The impact echoed through the room, and Alastor began to emit a cacophony of sounds—jazz tunes, snippets of 1930s radio shows, and even a broadcast of a margarine commercial.

"Oh, great! Did he really screw it up?!" Angel screamed at the loud noise, putting a finger in his ear.

"Why did you have to do that, you idiot!" Vaggie yelled.

"That's not helping at all, Angel!" Charlie exclaimed, trying to muffle the sound by covering his ears.

Suddenly, the sounds stopped, and Alastor finally blinked. He slowly smoothed his coat and adjusted his bow tie.

"Well..." He finally spoke, his voice sounding a little strained, although the smile was back on his face. "That was... peculiar."

"Alastor!" [Name] ran up to him, her eyes still teary. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"My dear, I think I've had the experience of being in limbo... and I must say I don't recommend it. Frankly, I prefer the damned souls screaming in the halls of Hell." He said, laughing along with cheesy radio effects.

"You were stuck for a whole hour!" Angel commented, arms crossed.

"So... does that mean you're okay?" [Name] asked again, hesitantly.

"Well, well..." He sighed dramatically. "I'd say I'm perfectly functional. But I must admit..." He tilted his head, looking directly at her with a forced expression. "Your nightmares are actually more terrifying than my murders!"

[Name] watched Alastor with a mix of relief and guilt, while the others in the room were still trying to process what had just happened. "I... I'm so sorry, Al," she said quietly, fidgeting nervously with the sleeves of her pajamas. "I didn't mean to cause this. It's just... the nightmare was so real."

"My dear, there's no need to apologize!" He spread his arms wide, returning to his usual tone. “Though I must admit that few things in this world—or this hell—could have prepared me for such a… creative accusation.”

“It wasn’t an accusation!” she protested. “It was just… my mind playing tricks! Nightmares don’t follow logic!”

“Clearly,” he replied. “But I must say… it’s fascinating that, of all the possibilities, your mind chose to cast me in this particular role. I’m afraid to ask, but… was there a fur coat involved?”

“Don’t make me remember!” she squeaked, covering her head.