#being in a household that is never happy vs one that is is such a drastic change

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

literally going to sob,, wdym jensen gets to come home every day to someone who is excited to see him. wdymmmm

[xinganhao]

🔍 older brother!seungcheol vs. boyfriend!mingyu.

anon → "i was wondering if you could do something like older brother scoups finding out you're secretly dating mingyu?"

⌗ ┆the way i IMMEDIATELY sat up when i saw this request omg ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ thank you, anon! this was wayyy too fun to do!

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: f!reader, older brother!seungcheol, established relationship, pet names, cussing, [sibling] threats of violence/harm, to be read in order + headcanons under the cut.

🔍 headcanons .ᐟ

— prologue.

mingyu really tried his very, very, very hardest not to fall in love with you. there are some things that are just indisputably off-limits— friends' siblings being one of them. you're seungcheol's younger sister, and the older boy is known to be immensely overprotective of his own.

it's the reason why no one has dared to approach you for years. seungcheol has scared away dozens of potential suitors with his picture perfect bitch face and his sharp tongue. you can complain all you want, but he'll always say the same thing. "i'm just protecting you," he'll snipe. "i know how these boys' minds work and i'll be damned to let them near you."

mingyu thinks he can get away with just being your friend, with being a good friend to seungcheol, but it becomes increasingly difficult the more time he spends in your orbit. his frequent visits to the choi household; the brief moments you interact when you're around seungcheol? yeah, mingyu never stood a chance.

it's you who confesses first, and mingyu is admittedly scared shitless. all of that is thrown out the window when you kiss him, though. because the moment your lips meet his, mingyu suddenly can't give two shits about whether or not he'd ruin his friendship with seungcheol.

you're the one who proposes to keep it a secret for now, citing seungcheol's man-eating tendencies. mingyu is actually a little relieved. he's not sure if he's prepared to deal with the infamously dramatic and sulky choi man, so he readily agrees to the open-ended request of sneaking around.

as the months drag on, though, mingyu feels like he should have clarified how long for now would last. because the two of you are nearing the half-year mark and you're still racing to meet your brother's curfews, still unable to be with mingyu properly in public. the two of you are constantly afraid that seungcheol will catch wind of your relationship and it's admittedly driving mingyu a little crazy.

mingyu is still endearingly sweet and understanding about it, of course. even as he starts to suggest telling seungcheol and freeing the both of you from the burden of hiding, he understand why you hesitate at each turn. seungcheol is intense, after all.

a part of you knows that mingyu won't wait around forever. there's only so much compromise, so much rendezvouses that you can get away with before he begins to demand more. and, truthfully, he deserves to demand more— with how perfect and patient he's being.

(if he'll be completely honest, mingyu doesn't mind waiting around for you. would he like to hold your hand in public? of course. does he want everybody in his life to know that you're his? hell yeah. but— as pathetic as it sounds— mingyu is happy to have you in any way that he can. even if it's just the scraps and pieces of you, he'll take it.)

— the texts.

there's a saying that 'strict parents breed rebellious children'. well, it looks like the same stands for strict siblings. seungcheol is always ragging you for the time that you'll come home, for the people that you hang out with. it's equal parts him being nosy and him fulfilling what he thinks is his birthright as an older brother.

to make up for all the time that seungcheol has seemingly stolen from your relationship, you promise mingyu a weekend. something so innocent and innocuous in your six-month long relationship. a lazy saturday in his apartment, where you won't have to leave by midnight like some sort of modern cinderella.

and mingyu's so damn happy about it, this snapshot of domestic bliss that he's been granted. you, padding around his apartment in his oversized shirt. you, attempting to bake something you saw off tiktok. you, giving him a dozen kisses as he drifts in and out of sleep. it's absolutely perfect. he could get used to this, he thinks.

but then mingyu makes the mistake. your phone is charging on his bedside table as he dozes off. when your phone rings, it's purely instinctive— how mingyu groggily reaches over to answer the call. it takes him a full minute, an agonizing sixty seconds, to realize what he'd done.

the call connects. seungcheol is in the middle of saying something like "yah, i told you to text me when—," only to have the words die out. he stares down at his screen, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, because it's not you on the other end of the line. hell, it's not even abigail, who you're supposed to be sleeping over with. it's a man. and it's not just any man—

when seungcheol says "kim mingyu?", that's when mingyu realizes he fucked up. his eyes blow wide with surprise and he has half the mind to say something, do something. that something turns out being ending the call without saying a word. if mingyu wasn't already awake earlier, he sure is now.

you're exasperated when a panicked mingyu tells you of what happened. the two of you sit at his dining table, strategizing a 'game plan', as your phone rings off the hook in between the two of you. seungcheol is not happy. it doesn't surprise you when your brother even goes as far as to start pinging mingyu, then— when that doesn't work— making a group chat.

seungcheol know he's overbearing and protective. on that front, he can kind of see why you decided to keep your relationship with mingyu. (a small part of him is impressed, even.) but, really, he just has this thing about being the last to know. he hates it. he hates being out of the loop, hates feeling like he's an afterthought. and so he's fully prepared to hold grudges to both of you, which would probably be a disaster. seungcheol was the master at being resentful, after all.

that is, until mingyu drops the 'l' word. from his end, seungcheol's fingers freeze over his phone screen. in all his years of knowing mingyu, he had never heard the man say he loved someone. it was always the vaguest of terms. i like her. i fuck with her. i'm down for her. but love?

and you, with those words that you often deliver in jest. 'don't ruin this for me, cheol.' how many times has seungcheol heard you beg him to bug off, to let you live your life? how many times have you two gotten in to fights over his meddling and your stubbornness? you always think he's out to get you, when in reality, he likes to think he's just looking out for you.

'i really like mingyu, genuinely.' 'i love your sister, seungcheol.' seungcheol stares at those two open confessions for what feels like forever before he lets out an annoyed huff to himself. it feels like a 2v1 that he's not about to win. he is still pissed, is still about to pout about it for weeks and then proceed to hold it as leverage in the months to come.

but seungcheol is also willing to [begrudgingly] admit: there are worse people for you to end up with than kim mingyu.

[sage-nebula]

Thinking about how important it is that Wendy is a part of the Pines family. (Because she is, as much as Soos is. It's why she's in the family photos, such as the one representing Ford's happiness at the end of The Book of Bill.)

We don't know too much about Wendy's home / family life. Unfortunately, we don't a single Wendy-focused episode, and we don't get to learn too much about her outside of how she interacts with the main characters. But here is what we do know:

Wendy is the oldest of four siblings, with three little brothers. Wendy herself is 15. We are never given ages for her brothers, but given the photo that she shows Dipper of her younger self in "Double Dipper", I'm guesstimating that the youngest Corduroy brother (Gus) is about 6 in the present day. This is because young!Wendy was wearing braces and also noted to be "freakishly tall" for her age, and Gus was wearing a diaper in the photo (but standing on his own). Braces can take two to three years to be removed, and Wendy doesn't have them in the present day, meaning she was probably around 11 or 12 in the photo. Meanwhile, Gus was in a diaper but able to stand, meaning he was probably a toddler, likely around 2. So in the present day, Wendy is 15, Gus is around 6 (depending on if Wendy was 11 or 12 in the photo), and Marcus and Kevin (the middle brothers) are between 14 and 7.

Wendy's mother died when she was young. Given the age of Gus in the photo, we can estimate that Wendy's mother died when Wendy was, at youngest, 11 or 12 -- so, three or four years pre-canon. (Because any earlier than that and Gus couldn't have been born.)

Wendy's father is Manly Dan, who shouts just about every line of dialogue he has and routinely breaks things, including in his own house, albeit sometimes by accident. He also spends most of his time in a biker bar, though we do know that he does love his children. (e.g. is seen with the boys on both family fishing day and Summerween, is seen taking Wendy out for breakfast in "Dipper vs. Manliness").

Dan is the reason why Wendy has a summer job. As she says in "Gideon Rises", "If I can't work at the Shack, my dad's gonna force me to work at my cousin's logging camp up north." This implies that Wendy has to work somewhere, per a rule of Dan's.

In "Into the Bunker", Wendy has this to say when she comments on how she's excited to be going on an adventure with Dipper and Mabel: "It beats cleaning up after my dad at home." She says this with a frown, in a grousing tone. We're then treated to a clip of Dan breaking apart the cabin as mentioned above.

In "Society of the Blind Eye", before she's about to have her memories erased, Wendy confesses thus: "I'm stressed like 24/7. Have you MET my family?"

Wendy dreams about her mother every night. The glimpse of her dream that we're shown depicts her receiving a comforting hug from her mother.

The conclusions that I draw from the above are thus: prior to her mother's death, Wendy had what amounts to a normal family life in Gravity Falls. The Corduroys were a two parent household, her mother was there to help balance Dan out and raise the kids (Wendy included), and Wendy could, well . . . be a kid. It's possible, even, that some of Dan's more worrying traits (such as spending the majority of his time at a bar) didn't exist when Wendy's mom is alive. It's pure speculation on my part, but it's possible that Dan feels compelled to go to a bar to be aggressive (and drink, even if we don't see it because it's a kid's show) because that's how he processes his grief over his wife's death, away from his children's eyes and ears. He's trying to be a responsible father and not hurt his kids, while at the same time still not handling things in the most healthy way.

But back to Wendy. Once Wendy's mother died, the dynamic in the Corduroy household shifted. Dan was hit by the tidal wave of grief that comes with losing a spouse, as well as the sudden onslaught of being a single father to four children, one of whom was very possibly still in diapers. And if my speculation is correct and that he took to going to the bar to deal with his grief, then who is left to change Gus' diapers and get him potty trained? To operate the stove or oven or microwave to make sure that the boys (who would all be under age 10 at this point) got fed, and to make sure she got fed herself? To, in her own words, "clean up [her] dad's messes" when he was at home to make them by breaking apart the house with his own head?

Wendy.

Wendy was a child herself when her mother died, but she was the oldest child, potentially freshly into middle school while the boys were still in elementary, and the oldest daughter to boot. The girl, expected to know how to do "girl things" like cook and clean. I'm not saying that Dan told her to do these things, but we know from Wendy's personality that she is protective of those who need it (e.g. Dipper and Mabel) and, more importantly, that's her home and her family, and she does love them (she makes this clear in the Weirdmageddon episodes numerous times). She wouldn't let her little brothers starve, wouldn't let her youngest sit in a filthy diaper, would try to pick up the house if her dad and brothers wouldn't. Wendy would step up to do it out of necessity, even if she hated it and felt stressed out about it, especially while also feeling the crushing grief that comes with having lost her mother.

So Wendy, having lost her mother at a young age, probably had to step up into a pseudo-parental role in her own house, trying her best to fill the void that was left by her mother's passing even though she was only a child herself. And this is why she's "stressed, like, 24/7." Because not only are her father and brothers loud and chaotic (especially with Dan raising the boys into miniature versions of him), but because it's her responsibility (spoken or no) to keep the house in as much order as she can. It's little wonder that, outside of the movie that she and Dipper are watching in the beginning of "Into the Bunker", Wendy seems to spend as little time as possible in her own home.

So, how does this fit into it being important for Wendy to be part of the Pines family? Or, worded in a better way, why it's so important that she has the Pines as a second family, and the Mystery Shack as a second home?

As I said above, once Wendy's mother died, her ability to be a child in her own home effectively ended. Again, to make it clear, Wendy doesn't hate her family. In fact, it's the opposite; the Weirdmageddon episodes make it clear that she still loves her father and her brothers very much. But "Society of the Blind Eye" also makes it clear that they stress her out. She has a lot of complicated feelings, something that's understandable given her complicated situation.

But because she has to help keep the house together when she's at home, that means she can only really be a kid (or teenager, as the case may be) when she's outside of it. She has a lot of fun doing this with her friends, but sometimes a teen does need a home to relax in. And for Wendy, that home is the Mystery Shack -- and yes, that includes when she's on the clock.

Now, I know what you may be thinking: it's stated that Stan is a terrible boss, that he barks orders, that he yells -- how is that any different from her father? Well, I'll tell you how: the only time we actually see this is in "Boss Mabel", in which Stan being a boss who yells and barks orders at his employees is a plot point meant to create the conflict for the episode. Otherwise, we never really see Stan being an awful boss, and in particular we never see him being hard on Wendy. In fact, I would argue we see the opposite.

Here are things we know about Wendy's behavior at work, and Stan's response to her behavior at work:

Wendy constantly reads magazines while working the cash register, often right in front of Stan. Stan never tells her to put the magazine away.

Wendy often puts her feet up on the counter. Stan never tells her to take her feet off the counter.

Wendy goes up to the roof "all the time, every day" to the point where she has a chair and cooler up there. ("The Inconveniencing"). We don't know if Stan knows about this or not, but it's hard to believe he wouldn't if Wendy goes up there as much as she says she does.

When Stan told her to hang signs up out in the woods, she said, "I would, but I can't . . . reach . . ." while making no effort to get up to get the sign, and not removing her eyes from the magazine or her feet from the counter. Stan simply said, "I'd fire [. . .] you if I could." i.e. she got away with it 100%. ("Tourist Trapped")

When Stan double checks with Wendy and Soos that they'll wash the bathrooms while he's gone, Wendy says, "absolutely not" with a salute. Stan laughs and then says to stay out of trouble, not caring at all. ("The Inconveniencing")

Wendy was supposed to work the ticket stand all night at the party. She quit about ten minutes in and blatantly joined the party. Stan had to have seen her. He did nothing. ("Double Dipper")

Wendy claims in "Boss Mabel" that Stan doesn't let her have friends at work. In contrast, we see Robbie visit her at work all the time throughout their relationship (e.g. "Fight Fighters", "Boyz Crazy"), and Stan even comments on "is that the guy that's always making googly eyes at Wendy?" but otherwise has no problem with it. So again, it was a conflict invented for "Boss Mabel" that otherwise doesn't exist.

And that is just off the top of my head. The point is, Wendy is perhaps treated the easiest of the staff at the Mystery Shack. She's blatantly lazy and snarky and the most Stan ever does is grouse that he would "fire [her] if he could."

And this is a good thing.

The Mystery Shack, even if when she's on the clock, is clearly a place where Wendy can relax. It's somewhere she feels comfortable, rather than stressed. Yes, she's working -- but she's putting in the barest minimum effort because the stakes are the lowest they could possibly be. Because even though Stan grouses and complains about how little she cares, he won't fire her. He says he can't, but let's be honest, he could. One could argue that he'd be out a cashier, but he already is when the school year starts and Wendy has to go back to school. The Shack doesn't close down then, so it wouldn't close now if he fired Wendy.

But he won't fire her, because he knows that if he did, she'd be sent up north to her cousin's logging camp, a job she would hate and that would add on to the stress she already has from her home life. Stan has been in Gravity Falls for 30 years; he's been there since before Wendy was born. He knew her mother. He remembers when her mother died a few years ago. He probably saw how Dan's personality changed, how Wendy's personality changed from a more carefree little girl to a little girl who had to act more carefree than she actually was because she won't ever dare let anyone know she's anything but tough as nails, kinda like the guy he sees when he looks in the mirror. So he'll grouse at her about her laziness, and she'll complain about how much she hates having to work, but he'll also never hire another cashier even during the school year when the Shack maybe could use the extra help, and she knows that he both has an orthopedic back pillow and where it's kept, and that's as much as either of them will say about it. (Source for the orthopedic back pillow: "Soos and the Real Girl").

Wendy spends time at the Shack that would otherwise be spent at her home. When she decides to leave Tambry's party early, she goes to hang out at the Shack and watch movies with Stan, before the twins or Soos arrive ("Summerween"). She's likewise hanging out with the Pines and Soos watching television despite work clearly being over in the beginning of "Dreamscaperers". Wendy can relax at the Shack, can be in a home environment where she has no responsibilities, where she can simply be a teenager without also having to be a pseudo-parent. She can be a big sister figure to Dipper and Mabel without the added responsibilities of having to make sure they're fed and brought up right. She can be snarky with Stan, and he'll be snarky back, and there are no risks or consequences at all.

It's important that Wendy is a member of the Pines family, because here there are no complications for her. She loves her original family, but things got difficult when her mother died, and they won't ever stop being difficult. But things aren't difficult with the Pines. In a way, being with the Pines is as comfortable as the hugs she gets from her mother in her dreams every night. Being with the Pines feels right. It feels safe.

It's good that Wendy has them. It's important that Wendy has them. And fortunately, she always will.

[shadowqueenjude]

Azriel is jealous of Lucien

Azriel is 100% jealous of Lucien and here is, in my opinion, why: 1. There's the obvious factor: he has a mate and Azriel does not (or so he thinks). He's jealous of Rhysand and Cassian for this but he still manages to be happy for them because they're his closest friends. But he perceives Lucien as this "outsider," yet he got a mate while Azriel did not. 2. Truthfully? Lucien and Azriel have many similarities, particularly when you consider their backstories. Both grew up in abusive households and have difficulty getting over females that are not their mates despite their conviction that they are (Jesminda and Mor). Both feel like outsiders, although it's wild that Azriel feels that way considering he has Rhys and Cass but whatever. They even both have scars as a result of unbearable cruelty. But while Azriel came out of that situation with unresolved anger issues and a tendency towards violence (as demonstrated during the High Lord's meeting) and a darkness to him, Lucien came out of that situation a gentleman, still managing to be kind and with an incredible amount of self-restraint and lightness to him (and typically opting for nonviolence). Azriel sees himself as a bad person and he resents the fact that Lucien still maintains himself as a good person despite it all. 3. Lucien was easily accepted as a part of the group as his true self (or that's what Azriel sees) while Azriel still feels like he can't be his true self. He admitted in the bonus chapter that he only lets Rhys see the full extent of his anger because Rhysand is the only one who can match it. So, he doesn't even show his full anger to Cassian or Feyre. And look at them during the solstice in ACOSF: Rhys sprawled in an armchair, and Cassian occupied a second armchair with Lucien leaning against it, arguing with them about something that seemed related to a sporting event.

vs Azriel: Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him.

Lucien, with his ability to talk with people, worked his magic on Rhysand and Cassian easily. Lucien, despite having to deal with the strain of the mating bond, is still managing to converse with them while their own best friend of centuries cannot bear the scent of Lucien's bond, even though the person most affected by it isn't him. 4. Azriel feels replaced by Lucien. He is the Inner Circle's spy, mainly, but he isn't good for much else if we're being honest. Lucien, on the other hand, can ALSO spy. Evidence: Lucien took a steadying breath, and I wondered—wondered if being emissary also meant being spymaster.

Apart from that, he has exceptional abilities with people. He was instantly seen working his magic when the IC was having difficulty working out a time and place for the High Lord meeting. He helped create the antidote for the faebane as well. Then there's Azriel's other use: being a warrior. Lucien is a warrior too. And he is so powerful that he was able to venture into the continent by himself where even Rhysand with all his power feared to tread and come back with a large army which was essential for their victory. And post-war, he is the one keeping Prythian together, along with his beloved older brother Eris. He had to give Lucien credit: the male was somehow able to move between his three roles—an emissary for the Night Court, ally to Jurian and Vassa, and liaison to Tamlin—and still dress immaculately. Then there is this from Azriel: “No. But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. Elriels take this to be about Elain, but I actually believe this is further evidence of his complete and utter jealousy. It pains him to admit that the IC needs Lucien even more than they already did. With Lucien's increased role, Azriel's role further diminishes in Az's eyes. So when Azriel says he thinks "Lucien will never be good enough for her?" He is projecting his own feelings onto Lucien. Deep down he knows that he is completely and utterly wrong for Elain and that Lucien is 100% right for her. When he says that he'd "Defeat Lucien with little effort?" In his mind, it's a chance to regain some of his worth. He perceives that his only value to the IC is his spying and warrior abilities. He wants to prove that Lucien can't replace him because Azriel is better at these things. But in reality, he can't possibly believe he'd defeat the male who dominated Cassian with one word with little effort. Because even if he wasn't there for that moment, he knows Lucien survived the continent. He knows everything Lucien has been through and has definitely sparred with the guy. And we know Rhys agreed with him to keep him from getting any angrier or more frustrated. The beef between Azriel and Lucien is soooo one-sided. Lucien thinks of him as a decent dude! These two could be best friends if Azriel got over his dumb jealousy. But I don't care; I'm a Lucien stan for life and you'd better start treating my man right. Going through trauma is NOT an excuse to choke people or challenge them to blood duels. Lucien has gone through plenty and he hasn't even lashed out at anyone, even though he'd be completely valid for doing so. Learn from Lulu, Az.

[anittmyer]

Glorfidnel vs. Religious Trauma

(This does contain some Valar bashing)

This was a headcanon I wanted to explore with my Golden boy! It's well known knowledge that Glorfindel is half Noldor and half Vanya, and the Vanya tend to be close to the valar and the most as you say "religious" and strict with the rules of the valar.

I personally headcanon Glorifndel as gay and he realized this at a young age while he still lived in Valinor. His mother was Noldor, but his father was a very loyal Vanya, making him quite religious and strict with his children and household. Same sex relationships were viewed as an abomination by the valar and so most Vanya thought so as well. Glorfindel hated himself for liking other Nèrs', he knew he should get over it so he can marry and nìs one day and make his father proud.

Glorindel spent a lot of his time trying to be a devoted follower of the valar and to follow their rules, but one day he kissed another male elf in secret and he was so scared he ran away home and cried. He was found by his mother and he knew his mother wasn't as tied to the Valar as his father was. He told her what had happened and how he felt, he feared she'd be angry and disgusted, like how many Vanya spoke about Prince Nelyofinwè (another character i headcanon as gay).

He truly felt lost and in a dark place once the flight of the Noldo occurred and he decided to cross the Helcaraxè with Fingolfin's host. He felt abandoned by the Valar even though he was devoted and faithful. He feeling lost had found happy company in a Noldor elf named Ecthelion.

In Gondolin, Glorfindel was still tense and no one knew his true nature besides Ecthelion. He had garnered the title of himself as Gondolin's most eligible bachelor in the secret city. Many elleths fawned over the Lord of the Golden Flower, but all Glorfindel could feel was shame once more for not being able to reciprocate and do his duty. Ecthelion was good at comforting him and telling him that how he was isn't shameful or a disgrace, but Glorfidnel couldn't help the sinking feeling in his gut and the nervous sweat on his brow.

It wasn't until he was brought back from the Halls of Mandos and was given a second chance at life, that he wanted to let go of his shame. Lord Elrond was the most kind and most understanding being to have existed since his friend Ecthelion. While living in Imladris, Glorfindel met his forever love in Erestor, a beautiful peredhel elf with dark hair, striking green eyes, and olive skin. He was studious and a bit cold, but Glorfindel had broken down those walls and the two were almost always plagued by a scarlet blush. Glorfindel knew he found his forever love, he didn't care what the Valar thought or what his father thought of him being in love with an ellon, of Fenaorion stock no less!

Glorfindel always dreamed of his wedding, he once thought it was never to be, his love would never be allowed by the Valar or even his father. He married Erestor in Imladris, surrounded by those who loved and accepted him. And once he sailed with Erestor, Elladan, and Elrohir, he reunited with Ecthelion who was furious he wasn't able to attend his best friends wedding. However, Glorfindel was most worried about his father... the faithful Nèr who spat hideous words about those loving the same gender as their own. Glorfindel had finally worked up courage to travel to his family home, with Erestor in hand, he wouldn't be hidden like some shameful thing.

They had arrived to his family house, before knocking, the door was swung open, the beautiful visage of his mother stared back at him, tears instantly in her eyes. Glorfindel introduced Erestor as his husband and his mother only smiled and gave Erestor a chaste kiss on his cheek. Her acceptance of his husband gave him confidence. It was finally time to face his father... after so many years...

He met his father in the garden behind his family home, age had found its way to his father's, gray hairs lined his temples and his golden hair line. His father's tired eyes had no judgement in them, only sorrow and longing... Longing for his only son. He embraced his son tightly and then he looked to Erestor who appeared slightly apprehensive. Once more, Erestor was introduced as his beloved spouse, speaking calmly and slowly as to avoid his father blowing up on him. Glorfindel's father did no show thing. He in fact also gave Erestor a hug and thanked him for loving his son.

. . . .

In my head, Glorfindel's father lost his faith in the Valar when they decided to send his son back to Middle-Earth instead of letting him come home to his family.

I also swapped out Nèr/Nìs and Ellon/Elleth depending on if we were in Valinor or Middle-Earth!

I'm a Glorestor truther till my DYING DAYS!

Let me know what you think!!☺️☺️

[snowball-doie]

But how could the boys be so calm about becoming parents... could you deep dive s bit more on their feelings after knowing the news and reflecting it

i think after the initial excitement of finding out that they're going to be dads fades is when the panic settles in.

taeyong couldn't be happier, okay. that man never second guesses it for a SECOND. he's pushing 30, he's about to go into the military, he's always wanted a family, always wanted kids that he can take care of. there isn't a single moment of hesitancy from that man.

johnny has to be the steady mind for the group as head of the household. he's excited to have a family, and he doesn't have to consider many other factors for HIMSELF like the other boys do because he's married to ahri and it's agreed that he'll legally be the baby's father. that being said, while he's not worried for himself, he spends a lot of time sitting alone in the dark living room in the middle of the night while he contemplates all the possibilities and issues that could arise. what are eight guys and one woman going to do with a baby? how do they raise a kid together? how do they keep their baby a secret and still keep his marriage secret and keep the polycule a secret? what happens if they're found out? how do they protect their child? how do they protect ahri? what would happen to mark and haechan? what are they going to do when the boys each have to enlist? there's a lot of things on johnny's mind, and the worst part is that he thinks he has to figure it out all on his own because he doesn't want anyone else to worry or think about anything bad that could possibly happen.... little does he know, he's not the only one struggling.

doyoung goes to johnny one day with his own concerns. they'd been rehearsing for tour all day, and they were finally let go for lunch, so doyoung asked if johnny would eat with him while they talked... it was hard for doyoung to maintain his composure as he expressed his worries about having a baby given their romantic circumstances, and....... he felt so selfish to think it, but....... his first solo album was coming up, and he was horribly nervous that something like this would negatively impact that-- but not just him, truth be told. he was worried about everyone else's solos, and the group's own image if it came out that they were all dating and expecting a kid. he didn't want to tell anyone how he felt because he knew it was wrong to think about all those things and not about how they should just be happy they're having a baby, and only worry about ahri's health. "it's not selfish," johnny reassured him as he caressed doyoung's back slowly. "it's okay to be worried... you've worked hard for this album, and you deserve to have the best solo debut in the world. nothing bad is going to happen, i promise. by the time your album's coming out, the baby'll be here, and you'll get to play your music for them and brag to them about your solo shows." doyoung sniffled through a chuckle and nodded. it was going to be okay... johnny had it all under control.

yuta couldn't give a fuck. he's in the "what happens, happens" phase all the way up until reyna's born and then suddenly he's like "ya this is my whole world now" lmaoooo

jaehyun and jungwoo feel the same as doyoung, im not gonna lie. there's not really much of a difference in how they react vs. dy-- except instead of going to johnny like dy did or keeping it in like jungwoo does, jaehyun decides to distract himself by putting all of his effort into taking care of ahri and the baby. instead of worrying about what could happen, he focuses on what is happening and what's in his control.

ive talked plenty about mark, so im not going to get into it TOO much. i'll just say that all of his concerns about being a young dad who's already overwhelmed by a busy schedule are all sentiments haechan shares, so they talk about it privately. however, mark's concerns about having a kid in a polycule / with other guys is not anything haechan worries about. he's very much like jaehyun where instead of worrying, he takes care of ahri... but when it's the middle of the night and he's all alone, he cant sleep because hes so worried about having a baby at his age and with his schedule. he wants to be there for his kid..... doesn't matter if they're his biologically or not, he wants to be there for his family 24/7, but he knows that's also next to impossible given his job(s), and he hates that feeling-- hence why he babies his lil princess reyna so much whenever he and mark are in town.

[awgeezitsthetoiletnator]

your mind !!!!!!!! literally it's that its the desperate plea of them both being like this meant something to us both??? it didn't just irrevocably change my world view alone right? and now i've got to pretend to be normal about it because we are forever linked in the same circle like!?!?!?!

this is why i feel so unnormal about them both- Tracker being a crutch for Kristen when they were dating because her whole life has been her living a lie. She's moving in because she can't be with her parents but I'm sure she wonders if it's just because they are girlfriends. I wonder how Kristen feels about living in Mordred and Jawbone being one of her guardians (not even mentioning how she struggles playing like a child role- being that shield for her brothers and how we often see her square up to Sandra Lynn) now they aren't together, like does she feels out of place there? I also think that feeling of being out of place was echoed in the recent episode of oh Kristen's address hasn't been changed either- like none of the parental figures in Mordred did that for her- especially Jawbone who works at the school and would have know that was kinda important.

Similarly I think Kristen provided that role on Sophmore year (even being in a messy arc) to Tracker of being that support and the one who does listen to her. Like I wonder how Tracker felt when Adaine & then Fig joined the household- because she's no longer getting priority attention from Jawbone since he's so busy. Yes she's very independent but that's because she's had to be. Even looking after Jawbone before he got better- like they did live together she's probably seen the ins and outs of all his business. The way I see her definitely has a heavy influence from you recommending scream by beach bunny for Tracker because wow- just incredible no notes. Her just moving on to looking after Kristen- like to make herself feel useful and needed- like when she gets brought along for spring break she's like oh I thought you were going to abandon me. Like. Head in hands. My poor girl. (Tracker being an npc is so hard i need all her lore now brennan)

I think it's also why it's so like explosive with the withholding stuff about Jawbone because her and Kristen have become this codependent team because there is so much going on its like oh your my person right now and you still did this, you know all these things and yet my feelings weren't considered & were pushed aside.

Like even after this happens- Kristen then starts unravelling Tracker's religion through finding Cassandra. Which tears them apart. They are both so influential in each other's lives its so crazy.

Apologies for the ramble as this might all be so incoherent but i just have so many thoughts on them and their dynamics- but I think it's like the tragedy aspect of it all that is so aligned with this music. Like the greater the risk the higher the reward and all that- they are built up to be so life changing that the fall consistently follows them. Like we haven't spoke in months but I'm still happy that your religious uprising is going well- even in my commune with my own Goddess you still linger there too. (Not even getting into the Goddess being sisters it's just so much)

Like the Bang the Doldrums line of better off as lovers and not the other way around vs Kristen trying to be normal about calling them friends to her cleric teacher. Just rattling them in my brain for real. I also like Bros by Wolf Alice for them because it's such energy of like If i did come back would you still be there? I know it's selfish of me to ask but would you do it anyway. And definitely less emo but Renegade by Big Red Machine gives them so much. like specifically the post chorus and second verse. again sorry for the ramble but these new episodes are just making me think so intensely about them :P

please never ever apologize for sending such thoughtful asks to my inbox!! i’m sorry it took me so long to reply, but you gave me so much for think about…

- you’re so right about how layered and complicated kristen’s feelings on living at mordred must be now. they were probably a lot easier to overlook when she and tracker were together. the current status shift of “i’m living with my partner” to “i’m crashing with my friends” is wild to me. while i think sandra lynn and jawbone do their best to be good parents for the teens living in their house, there’s just so many of them that it’s probably be easier to parent the ones that usually lean on them for help (adaine) or show clear red flags (fig). (i know this is most likely because beardsley was the one who started the tremors bit during the last episode, but the way jawbone leapt up to protect adaine and fig but not kristen gave me pause. not because jawbone (or brennan for that matter) did anything wrong, but it made me wonder how many little things like that must happen every day in front of kristen and how she might feel about it). given kristen’s reluctance to their parenting and tracker’s personal, recent experience with leaving the church of sol, tracker probably seemed like the best person equipped to support kristen, even if it put her in a weird, uncomfortable corner where she is constantly caring for the person who is supposed to be her main carer as well - although it’s never as reciprocal as it should be. tracker leans heavily on her own experience to try and help kristen, which is why she works so hard to support kristen in establishing her church. she wants kristen to experience the deep, primal connection to YES!? that she experiences with galicaea, but it’s not the necessarily the same situation as kristen is the sole cleric responsible for her gods. due to how much is resting only on her shoulders, kristen’s issues always seem to eclipse tracker’s, but that doesn’t make it fair. tracker tries to help in the way she knows how and it’s still not enough. i’m so excited to learn more about why tracker wants to talk to kristen in the present day. in part, it’s probably because at some point they will be living in the same house again and they should be on good terms. but i also wonder if tracker sees the same pattern with kristen’s gods that cassandra does, and wants to offer kristen an out of her current situation by asking her to join the wolfsong revival. i don’t think there’s any universe out there where kristen would have ever chosen galicaea over cassandra when that path was first offered to her in sophomore year, but tracker could argue that lots of things have changed since that initial offer. in joining her, kristen would be one of many clerics and share the burden of responsibility for keeping a god alive. and maybe that’s a way they can actually be together again. 👀

- kristen’s aversion to being parented is so fascinating to me that it needs to be its own list item. it feels so relatable as an experience of an eldest daughter who’s been parentified for longer than she can remember. because i don’t even think it’s an aversion to being parented really - i think she’s expecting to be treated as a child in a way that’s familiar to her. when you combine kristen’s eldest daughter position with her status as the golden child due to her connection to helio, it’s not a far reach to say that the applebees treated kristen closer to another adult in the family than a child when she lived at home. i’m guessing she was privy to way more information and it was her job to shield and distract her brothers from it or filter it in a way that her parents approved. this is one of the reasons why i think she struggled so much while questioning her faith - her parents had always communicated with her in a straight and simple fashion and this suddenly shifted to unsatisfactory, emotional answers to her questions. (granted, i don’t think any answers the applebees would have given would be satisfactory based on how stuck they are in their worldview, but they jumped really quickly into just shutting kristen down instead of actually hearing her out) i think she’s seeking out that kind of straightforward parent-child relationship she used to have with her parents when she approaches sandra lynn after the tryst with garthy, like “tell me what’s going on and we’ll find the best way to share this with the rest of the kids.” i know that moment is followed by a “classic ally chaos moment” of kristen asking for whiskey, but i wonder if there’s a way to recontextualize it here. maybe she sees herself falling into an old pattern. maybe she can’t resist the temptation of actually being treated like a child instead of a pseudo-adult. maybe she’s worried that whatever answer sandra lynn could give her isn’t worth her positioning herself like this. no one wants sandra lynn and kristen to bond this season more than me i’m awake at night wishing as hard as i can believe me when i say this but i do think that she’s still trying to be a shield to the best of her ability from afar. i think the underlying question behind kristen’s decisions now when it comes to her brothers is “how do i turn the selfish action of leaving them behind into the best decision for everyone in the end without compromising my own autonomy or putting them in a situation where they get hurt?” she stays away from the applebees house so that her brothers don’t have to deal with the tension she would inevitably bring with her. she leaves them gold but without a note so her parents can’t interrogate them about their contact with her. and even in the last episode - choosing to simply confuse her parents and keep her cool instead of actively arguing with them is interestingly as calculated as it is chaotic because she probably comes off as less of a threat to bucky’s devotion to helio and more as a neutral eccentric. for now, it’s easier on everyone in that house if she is cast as someone whose head isn’t screwed on straight rather than a complete villain.

- i too would love to know more about tracker. all of your questions about how she might have felt when jawbone’s attention shifted from her to adaine and fig are right on the money. add all the codependency with kristen to the mix, it makes me wonder if tracker feels like she missed out on having deeper, possibly sisterly friendships with adaine and fig. i think trackerbees being so joined at the hip resulted in her holding fig and adaine at arm’s length as “kristen’s friends” as opposed to new family members. it’s telling that she only chose to leave mordred once she was certain that she could trust that jawbone would be safe with the people surrounding him AND that they were taking care of him as much as he was taking care of them. i don’t think she was waiting for something to go wrong per say, but the fact is that something DID go wrong and her instinct to hang around was justified. she watches sandra lynn and jawbone reconcile and that point in time happens to coincide with her decision to start the wolfsong revival and then she’s finally ready to leave with ragh at her side - the only other teen she allowed herself to get close to probably by accident bc they spent a good deal of time together when the PCs were off on bad kids only mini-missions during spring break. (also how are they going to share ragh. i’m hoping it’s all cordial in the end but how do you share a person who was a bodyguard / confidant for one of you but also was the cofounder of the lgbtq+ student union / honorary party member for the other for much longer than that. how do you do that) i’m so curious about her place in the birth order, but given that we’ve never heard about any siblings, i’m inclined to believe she’s an only child and it seems to fit. i’m an eldest daughter with a couple of only children as best friends and the dynamic of how straightforward tracker is in her actions while kristen is constantly playing 4D chess in her head to figure out the best solution for everyone rings very true for me. we know that her parents kicked her out after she was bitten, but she didn’t stray super far - not even outside the same pantheon of gods. granted, I think the lycanthropy made galicaea a natural fit for her, but i don’t think the journey to get there took as long as kristen’s journey to YES!? two sides of the same coin and all that

- ANYWAYS. the music of it all. i completely agree with your assessment of the tragedy and risk that emo music usually lends itself to, but i also like your other recs here! i was racking my brain trying to think of where i’d heard bros before - it was featured in the life is strange prequel (that also happens to center around another tragic sapphic couple). i absolutely love renegade for them and it made me think of “the 1” - another swift / dessner collab that feels very of the moment for them. i think about them a lot when i’m listening to adult mom. most songs i feel apply directly to one or the other, but i feel like “checking up” from their most recent album feels very attuned to their relationship right before they broke up when tracker was first on the road.

for anyone who has made it this far down, thank you for coming for my ted talk! i guess i have a lot more thoughts about these two than i knew. thank you again @sabrirene for sending this in!

[ravennaortiz]

Okay maam!!! I got one for you!!! 🌙 I gotta know!!

Oooooo!!!!! This is a good one!

From the October writer themes asks.

🌙 moon: do any of your OCs have dark backstories or secrets they’re trying to keep?

I actually have a few of my OC's that fit here to be honest. Sooooo I'm going to list them all and I'll link the character boards and stories.... I apologize in advance for the length lol.

Katalina Moreno-Losa: She features in a WIP I'm working on called What Haunts the Girl (I'll link some snippets below). She is the lone survivor of a vicious assault on the Losa household when the club is out on a run. The reason for her "survival" is a major plot point so I don't want to give to much away but it does involve a love interest that neither Bishop or her mom knew about. But she spends two years being kept captive( drug addiction forms, beaten,rape) before escaping and making her way back home. Very angsty but will have a happy ending!

Snippet 1 Snippet 2

Widowmaker: She has multiple identities and desperately wants to keep them secret which is hard to do due to a certain hacker and later a certain ATF agent. She works with the clubs/crime organization and they just assume she is a dirty small town cop who goes by Lexi. Events in her childhood greatly influence the course of her life. This story showcases nature vs nurture. She features in a WIP called Keep My Secret with Juice that revolves around the later seasons of Sons of Anarchy

Snippet

Stormie Rayne Epps: Her childhood was rough. Verbal and physical abuse, her mom died and her brother Kip(Half-Sack) left for the army. This left her with her dad who eventually sold her to a friend of his who raped her and eventually got her pregnant. She ran away at 15 and had the baby. The guy tracks her down over the years and eventually he gets put in jail right around the time Stormie tracks her brother down. She packs her little girl up and goes to Charming where she slowly learns her worth and what a healthy and loving relationship is like. The story she is in is an ongoing multi chapter one

Sunshine

Chloe Morrow- . She is a ....serial killer to be honest. She doesn't like to do it but she will if anyone she loves is threatened. Between the 3 stories that are out with her in it you can account for at least 2 bodies....one of those being her dads. She also has her sites on the head of the table........

Secret Part 1 Part 2 Crime Scene

Cori Lowman- She knows what happened to her dad and has never told the club. She seeks her own vengeance but follows heavily in her dads footsteps by becoming a killer for hire.....for the Mayans. Which puts some members of the SONS in peril. I have 5 stories out with her right now but these 2 give the most direct aspects of her story line :

Revenge and Avenging Angel

Morgana Telford: Her story is set in an Alternate Universe- Supernatural( vamps,werewolves etc). Her mom sends her to Charming in the hopes her uncle can get her back on the path of their ancestors. The problem is while doing this they have to make sure no one finds out her current form as it could have deadly consequences.

Thank you for asking!

Love R!

[themiimagebehindfire]

Jake is not a hero. He is a person with flaws.

The finale isn’t ‘hero Vs villain’ it is a test of ‘who is willing to put in the effort to be the best version of themself’

It’s this reason I find issue with how fans of Disventure Camp treat him. On BOTH sides of the coin. The “Cinnamon Roll who did nothing wrong and his trauma excuses all his bad actions” AND the “Worst human being on the planet who deserves the worst and trauma means nothing”

It’s ALWAYS one or the other. At least it seems that way for most. And I think both do a massive disservice to what Jake actually is.

Jake is a VERY flawed character. He does a lot of irrational and bad choices. Many claim he’s straight up unlikeable. And they’re… right.

”But wait? How could he be the moral superior to Riya if he’s unlikeable?”

Because this show isn’t fantasy. It is a down to earth reality show. There’s no such thing as a perfect hero in a show setting like this.

And in regards to the trauma card. Here’s the thing: I personally am happy that Jakes trauma was never used as a ‘my past made me more heroic’ narrative. Because that isn’t how it works. Trauma doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you a pain in the ass to deal with.

Some characters sympathize with him. Some don’t. That’s just how it is, and they’re not wrong for not sympathizing.

It baffles me to see people brush off all of Jakes flaws and bad actions.

He is emotional. He is irrational. He is paranoid. He is impulsive. He is clingy. He is gullible. He is selfish. He has a temper problem and a trust problem. He annoys the other characters so much they hate him right back, some of these people not even doing anything to deserve it.

But also… why wouldn’t he be like this?

He’s a byproduct of reality TV that exploits him and the people around him to act in the name of drama and entertainment. That’s the case for most of Disventure Camps characters. But on top of that he came from a cold and distant household that didn’t accept him for who he was, the only family member that did show him love and care died while he was on the show, he’s been surrounded by the concept of loss, he was used and cheated on, by several people who betrayed him, he was given death threats in interviews and in person, by people exploiting him as this awful person, and the one dude who promised to stay in touch with him broke that promise and ghosted him for two years.

His backstory and the events of the show informs his character and why he acts the way he does. But it, in no way, makes his behavior okay. Nor does all of this ‘make him better’.

I imagine most of us would act like him if we were in the same shoes.

That’s why it ALSO baffles me regarding the hate that he gets.

Now let me make it clear: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE JAKE AS A CHARACTER.

“I don’t like him cause he’s annoying” “I don't like him cause he’s not my cup of tea” “I don’t like him cause I have some issues with his story throughout the show” Are VALID. I totally understand that.

But I’ve seen some INSANE comments that take it a step further in saying things like “Jake is the most morally awful character” “Jake is unconditionally horrible” “Jake deserves all the suffering he gets” “Jake deserves to die” “Jake should’ve kys’ed” (That last one is DISGUSTING)

And that’s just flat out NOT TRUE.

He’s worse than Yul and deserves worse than Yul? A abusive racist/misogynist, attempted poisoner? Worse than Fiore? Who toys with people, abuses them, gaslights them, and also willingly killed people in VR even though she didn’t have to? Worse than Riya? Whose whole thing is she acts/becomes a sociopathic narcissist who attempts murder multiple times? Jake is WORSE than that? Come on now.

Jake DOES have redeemable qualities. Regardless if you want to see them or not. He is capable of being very kind and considerate, and bringing out the best in certain people, and also being a motivator for them. Regardless if you want to see that or not, that is there.

On top of that, AGAIN, his story explains why he acts the way he does. If there was no context, it’d be a different story. This is a guy so starved of love and care that he craves it from other people. This is a guy who was hurt and betrayed and dejected by so many people with negative intentions towards him that he DOES NOT FEEL SAFE trusting everyone and everything he sees. He feels like he himself is so broken that he can’t trust his own brain to think for him, because who he is will only make people want to hurt him.

And you’re expecting him to be friendly and considerate towards everyone right off the bat all the time? NO.

Just say you don’t like him, just say he annoys you, just say he’s not your cup of tea, just say you don’t like what the writers do with him, and move on.

You don’t have to go out of your way to try and prove he’s this danger to society that needs to be executed.

Cause um, news flash, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE THINGS WRONG WITH THEM. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.

The morality game is kinda tiring if you ask me. NONE of these characters are always going to make the right choices. They’re gonna do messy stuff for that million dollar prize. That’s the game.

Had Jake been set up by the show as this endlessly selfless noble hero that went through an incredible journey, then him LOSING to Riya would feel like a punch to the face. Especially if this was a black and white show.

But because he’s NOT a hero. Because he’s got stuff wrong with him, has made several mistakes, has made steps both forward and back. It is a more believable ending than if he did win.

It’s almost like this game isn’t as black and white as the group that named themselves the ‘Villains Alliance’ want you to believe. Didn’t Gabby and Ally go through that dilemma regarding their respective betrayals of the ‘heroes’? You’d think they’d turn into the Devil incarnate for these betrayals. But they don’t. They’re looking out for themselves for their own personal reasons and the villains alliance was the more convenient option for what they wanted. That doesn’t make them villains. That makes them flawed people siding with people who call themselves villains.

All Stars main theme is working towards being either the best or worst versions of themselves. And in that sense, then are you surprised Jake was the finalist over a more morally heroic character?

[17gz]

it just ENRAGES me beyond words that i reconnected with a friend from high school (who reached out to me since i was 1 out of 2 people in our grade of 500+ kids that were visibly out as trans)

because she wanted to let me know that she came out and got on E and told me her name and how she's been doing. we'd been talking for a while.

and i knew her pre transition in high school. she was miserable. and meeting her in person, she was a different person. i saw so much happiness and life in her eyes that i'd never seen before. it was so amazing to see her as who she really is.

i told everyone in my group who was going to pride about her. they all knew beforehand that i was inviting her. i expressed how happy and proud i was of her.

and when she arrived i saw a switch flip in my roommates heads. both of them. including the afab intersex one wearing a niohuru x "big dick girl" bikini for pride. my friend fully said "i use she/her. i don't like they/them, i prefer she/her." and these roommates used they/them for her the entire night.

they were so annoyed that she took up any space at all. they were so annoyed that she was excited. one of these roommates talked so often abt how its hard being autistic. and yet that same person made the rudest and most passive aggressive looks and gestures towards my friend because she's autistic. it was disgusting and juice even yelled at this person at dinner when this person kept doing high school bully shit at my friend.

and when we were forced to confront this person bc "they didnt understand why we were mad at them" we were completely honest and said that their treatment of my friend was unacceptable and disgusting and transmisogynistic

and this person denied all their behavior and even tried to cover it up by saying "i'm just a silly little guy" i wish i was fucking making this shit up i really fucking wish i was. we were stone faced and said they were treating my friend poorly bc shes a trans woman. they said "they'd never do something like that to someone in the community. they're part of the community!" and when juice said they are not incapable of being transmisogynistic, the crocodile tears were running immediately.

and then my friend i've known for 6 years (whos dating that pos) said we were being racist to their partner. and then within 12 hours we dropped the news that we were moving out. we moved out abt 17 days after that. from an apartment i literally hunted down and did all the work to find. and had expressed ALL year that i didnt want to move out from.

cannot stress enough that this roommates partner was staying with us rent free even though i even said they could pay at least $100-$200 per month to help with household expenses since money was getting tight for us and 4 ppl in there vs 3 ppl was rough (but i didnt want to say $800 -$1000 for them bc i knew they were in a tough financial state) (but also we were not doing well either and they took and broke SO much of our shit without offering to do a damn thing about it and spending their money on dumb shit)

and they'd been living rent free at our place for 4+ months. we were coerced into letting them stay w us. and the entire time they treated us like absolute garbage. they constantly made comments about us being fat and how they thought we were ugly.

not to mention. meatball is brachiocephalic. my ex friend was literally with me at the vet appointments where the vets said do NOT have smoke or candles or anything around him.

while i was vacuuming and getting him air purifiers to put around the house and spending over 2k on vet bills, the two of them were hotboxing him in their room when they smoked. i told them a trillion times to ventilate their room and keep the door closed and let the room air out when they smoked and they never listened. we only found out they were hotboxing meatball in july.

not to mention all the racist shit and the painting my friend made where they painted me as a rapist being eaten by them. never done anything like that, i was not ok w them using my likeness and even told them that, i was the darkest skinned person im that apartment, and they felt 0 shame or regret about it. and now theres a painting of me, depicted as a cis man rapist, darker than i actually am, being killed and eaten by this person.

i cannot even begin to describe my anger and rage and disgust and hatred towards this person. i genuinely hope they die. i wish nothing but misery and suffering upon them

[super-paper]

in the bnha story fantasy is used to reject and ignore someone else like Tenkos family, who rejected the reality of the situation in favor of the fantasy of a happy family. if they admitted that it wasn’t a happy family it would be like challenging the fantasy of a happy family that they created for themselves and admitting their complacency in the abuse. they ignored reality in favor of fantasy in turn ignored Tenko who was hurting  Afo has control over the narrative and likes being in control by reducing people to roles and archetypes instead of people. he likes to lose himself as a character and doesn’t want to be understood as a human he rejects reality in favor of his fantasy but when his control of the narrative and fantasy is being challenged he becomes aggressive he loses control of the narrative he was piling up, for example, ofa is the only quirk that can not be controlled he is technically is eating his own words “reality doesn’t follow the old playbook” with the same reality he used to reject is now turning on him in the form of ofa.  izuku has been given a quirk and now attends ua he got to live his dreams as a hero he gets to live out his fantasy but while he was using his quirk he constantly gets injured due to his lack of control when izuku lived out his fantasy, in turn, ignored his mother's feelings as a consequence. which comes to a head when she was discussing after being back in school

Ye!!!!!!

MHA acknowledges that fantasy is not inherently a bad thing-- It can inspire people and give them the strength they need to get through their lives! It can give them hope for their future! It helps people dream of becoming better and becoming happier! It can be a wonderful and healing force! It can save people! Fantasy has value and that value deserves to be acknowledged and respected! But, fantasy should never be used to ignore or cover up pain instead of healing it. Pretending that everything is all right when it's not or pretending that the problem will just go away if you refuse to acknowledge it is where fantasy starts to segue into escapism.

Like, to clarify I don't think every issue in MHA falls under the banner of "fantasy as escapism" (in the case of Tenko's household, there were a looooot of complex factors at play and I don't want to diminish or oversimplify any of them)-- but a lot of the core plots in MHA do involve fantasy/escapism in some capacity, so like, it's hard not to think of it as one of the main themes in the series lol.

Outside of AFO's whole deal (and Tomura's) (and Toshi's) (& Izuku's), one of my favorite examples of "Fantasy as escapism" vs "Fantasy as healing" in mha actually comes from the Todoroki plot:

The anime adds a scene of Endeavor sitting in a dark room and wallowing in anger/self-pity as he watches All Might be lauded as the ~*~ultimate superhero~*~ on TV, while Rei watches on in horror-- it's an absolutely horrifying scene, and I do understand why some ppl are mad the anime added it because it's framed in a very..... viscerally uncomfortable way. But, I like the scene purely from a narrative standpoint because I feel we're meant to draw comparisons to an early-MHA scene between Shouto and Rei:

In this scene, Shouto associates watching All Might on TV with a tender, happy memory. Everything is framed in a warm and bright way, and Shouto takes what All Might and Rei are saying to heart-- That he must be able to recognize who he is and appreciate himself independently of his quirk, and that he isn't bound by blood. It's ok for him to want to be a hero because HE wants to, and not because Endeavor tells him he has to be one. This memory, combined with Izuku telling him that "his quirk belongs to him and he alone gets to decide how to use it," allows Shouto to finally start healing.

"And that's the despicable truth!"

Meanwhile, Enji uses fantasy purely as escapism from a wound he wont allow to heal and as a way to mask his own ugliness as a person. He projects all his fantasies about "All Might" being this invincible, unbeatable, undying superman onto Toshinori-- and he's spent his entire life madly chasing after a vision of All Might that only exists in his head. He chases after the fantasy of becoming the ultimate superhuman because supermen don't have to worry about pesky human limitations like, say, dying. Or death. Or being killed. After all, if his father had been a "true superhuman," then SURELY he wouldn't have died and SURELY he would have been able to save that girl and NOTHING bad would ever happen ever, right?? ...... Right??????

Enji's long laundry list of sins starts with him treating his own sons as an extension of his fantasies and placing that absolutely impossible, unreasonable dream on their shoulders. The literal moment Enji is confronted with Touya's humanity-- that is, the moment he's confronted with his son's inevitable mortality-- Enji's immersion is broken. He immediately clams up and retreats as deeply as he can into his Endeavor persona, shutting Touya out and prioritizing sparing his own heart from injury over the heart of his son. Touya simply can't understand where his father went and spends his entire childhood trying to get him back. Mentally, Enji went out for a carton of milk and then never came back-- and Touya, a literal child, was left behind and expected to make sense of this abandonment.

To Touya, Enji and Endeavor were the same person: His dad. To Enji, Endeavor was an alter-ego-- just a mask he wore to feel better about himself and play pretend. All Touya wanted was for Enji be his father-- but being a father of course meant remembering that he is mortal, and that Touya is also mortal. So, Enji ran and continued to chase after his fantasies through Shouto while becoming more and more abusive towards his family for refusing to play along.

*AFO Voice*"This body is just a proooooooop what you're actually fighting doesn't have a tangible foooorm lol rofl lmfao 😂🤣🤣"

Endeavor is AFO's main foil for a reason. Like AFO, he uses fantasy as a form of toxic escapism-- both men essentially cannibalized their own families in their attempts to escape "humanity, weakness, pain, and death" and achieve their idea of "godhood," and both men attempt to live out their dreams through their children (AFO just takes this one to a literal extreme 💀💀💀). AFO and Endeavor are quite the pair, and Endeavor choosing to keep playing hero over confronting the realities of his responsibility as a father only enables AFO to also keep playing out his own comic book fantasies.

Speaking of fantasy.........!

When the clock strikes midnight and All Might turns back into Cindertoshi in front of the entire world, Endeavor's immediate reaction is to fly into an impotent rage and scream at him. As if to say "How dare you be human. How dare you be human when the entire basis for my whole fantasy specifically hinged on dehumanizing you. How dare you be a human, just like me!" Endeavor never understood what made Toshinori an actual hero and spent his life treating Toshi as an unreachable, unattainable "other"-- And now that dream is over. Toshinori's just a regular human, and supermen don't exist. The cold, hard, cruel reality of what he did to his family finally sets in.

Just as Touya's constant burns forced Enji to confront the reality of Touya's and his own mortality, All Might's true form again forces Enji to confront the "human" part of the superhuman ideal-- he is forced to admit that there is no such thing as a "true superhuman" and that he was always chasing after a fantasy that never existed.

Side Note: Enji looking at All Might and basically saying "YEAH YEAH COOL COOL I'M SURE EVERYTHING WOULD'VE BEEN FINE AND I NEVER WOULD'VE HAD TO EXPERIENCE ANY PAIN IF *YOU* WERE MY DAD. WATCH ME FATHER FOUR CHILDREN TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW FINE I WOULD BE IF *I* WERE YOU AND YOU WERE ALSO MY DAD AND ALSO IF YOU WERE MY SON (???) :)" is like next level unhinged and I don't think the fandom talks about it enough lmfao. Dadmight game so strong it created a generation of deadbeat fathers who would rather fantasize about ~All Might takin' them to the ball game~ than raise their own damn kids.

Another aside....!!! Bakugo's reaction in particular always gets me during the Toshirella reveal, bc Bakugo n' Endvr are so often foiled with each other-- but their reactions are like night and day.

Like Endeavor, Bakugo is witnessing the moment his untouchable, unconquerable fantasy "falls to earth" and gets exposed as someone who as just as human as him, just as human as anyone else, and just as capable of getting hurt and discouraged as anyone else. Unlike Endeavor, though, Bakugo's reaction is neither scorn nor blame-- he instead chooses to cheer for Toshinori harder and louder than ever:

Another day, another instance of Endeavor getting absolutely owned in some vague capacity by a teenager lol. I should turn this into a drinking game and just get, like, completely smashed. I mean I would probably definitely die by the time we reach the part where he starting gets verbally browbeat by horribly bitchy visions of his teenaged self, but at least I would go out doing what I love: bullying fictional middle-aged men.

^ The above is another good example of how fantasy isn't always harmful when you're still willing to accept the reality underneath it. When the chips are down, one of the things that really defines you in this series is how you react when that layer of "fiction" gets violently ripped away and you see what's underneath:

-VERSUS-

god DAMN IT ENJI--

/end

[gingery-juniper]

PERSONAL BLABBER TIME

-long personal ramble ahead-

I don't really post personal stuff here, but there's no other platform I feel safe sharing. I don't really share a lot personal stuff online anyway, but I'm really excited about this and I'm just dying to get it all out and share my excitement with someone.

Like

Orange-cat zoomies excited.

🐈[nyoom]🐈

I've been afraid to open up and unmask for so long, but this is the one place I feel like I can be open about who I am. I don't care if anyone actually reads it, I just want to vent it out.

I'm about to start taking T (testosterone)!!!

I am AFAB and non-binary, and now trans-masc.

I've always hated the body I was born with since I was a kid, but never quite knew why. I was raised in a very conservative Christian household that strongly condemned anything outside the "norm". I was raised to be a "good submissive wife"

That never sat right with me, even as a religiously brainwashed kid. And now I understand why. Not just the creepy religious aspect (that's a whole 'nother deal), but that I was never supposed to be a woman.

I knew something was different about me ever since middle school, but I didn't have the experience or exposure to know why I felt wrong in my own body. I was a tomboy I guess, but it was more than that. I my autistic ass always hyperfixated on male fictional characters. Everyone always assumed I had a crush on them, but no, I wanted to BE those male characters.

I spent so many years thinking maybe if I was more perfectly feminine I'd be happy, starving myself to be ~pretty~ and accepted by my family and peers. That didn't do shit and just made me deeply and harmfully depressed and more confused.

I spent so many years "believing" gender and sexuality was a strict "good vs evil" thing. Even daring! to think of deviating from being cis or hetero (those terms are evil and "woke" btw /s) was an abomination. Anyone at all queer (definitely used as a slur by them) was going straight to hell.

I feel sick knowing I used to believe that.

Well, I didn't really believe it. It didn't make sense to me, but I was conditioned to think that way (for fear of punishment) so I went along with it. But it didn't make sense and confused me when I started to meet and make LGBTQ friends in high school and at my first job. They were such amazing people. I couldn't figure out how they were possibly "evil".

I'm so angry it took so long for me to finally break out of that brainwashed mindset and start thinking clearly for myself.

10 years later, after a long time away from my parents/family, it's all making sense. The egg has cracked.

I've since found the LGBTQA+ community and have never felt more accepted and understood. This is where I have always belonged and I'm so grateful to have made it this far to realize that.

I was making formal plans to off myself a few years ago (many factors involved), but seeing some of the things people posted here made me realize that I'm not broken and not worthless and helped inspire me to live.

Over the last few years (and yeah honestly tumblr has been an incredible learning and supportive community resource) I have come such a long way in my personal journey. I am learning who I am now.

I had top surgery earlier this year and it's the best decision I've ever made. I've never been happier in my life.

Somehow my family hasn't noticed.

Now I'm going to start T.

My family won't take kindly to this change. They are very homophobic and especially transphobic. But I'm no longer interested in being palatable to keep them comfortable. I am going to be me whether they like it or not.

For the first time in my life, that I can say with confidence, I want to live.

I am asexual.

I am aromantic.

I am non-binary.

I am trans.

I am queer.

[kankuroplease]

hi! was wondering how close are the children of the kpz uchiha founders (madara n co) with their mothers?

Ohhh okay let me try to do some quick summaries

Sumi’s kids

They were a tight family unit

They did get grossed out when Tajima kissed their mother tho

And fuss when they got “replaced”

But Sumi made sure to spend one on one time with each of her kids so they wouldn’t resent their siblings or her too much

They entertained her love of embroidery and would wear what she made them without being asked to (she was so happy when they did)

Madara would help her with his younger siblings without being asked to either

Katsura’s kids

They love their mom… but they also love giving her a hard time

I.e. the twins started picking her up when they got bigger than her to carry her off to a surpise or when she’s ready to fight someone else’s mother

Or Riki will just ask their father if she tells her no

They do love the sweets she makes and will behave for those or bring her fancy perfumes in exchange for their favorites

They will fight anyone who says anything negative about their mother

Yaya’s kids

They are very sweet kids just like their mother

They love their mother and would cuddle in bed together with when their father was gone

Her daughter is very similar to her (just more confident) and they’re more like best friends than simply mother and daughter

Her sons will help with chores as they know she has a bad shoulder and that’s the one thing they can definitely help with

Gin kid’s

They think their mother is pretty cool and respect her highly for her battle skills

They have some jewelry made of her bones

And often relay any information they get to her as she’s their confidant/trusted adviser

The boys gang up on their father when it comes to their mother and how lucky he should consider himself to have her

Her son with her eyes thinks they look awesome and doesn’t mind that they make him stand out from other Uchiha

Mate

Her and her son don’t always see eye to eye as she’s more emotional than he his and he doesn’t always feel like a hug will fix everything

Her and her daughter get along besides her fussing over getting her mother’s “problems” (I.e. she’s busty and clumbsy)

Other than that, they get along well and often mirror their mother’s expressions when surprised, happy, or disgusted

Her and her son have a bit more of a close bond as he’s capable of using her weather jutsu and entertains her tea parties more than her daughter (she still tries with her baby girl though)

Wakaba and Runa

They genuinely didn’t know who gave birth to them until their cousins pointed it out

Which didn’t matter to them, they love their moms and they never differentiated themselves (mom vs. nanny), so why should they? 

The love their mothers equally (although maybe Wakaba more as a fun aunt because she doesn’t discipline them and actively spoils them)

The group of them do all their household shopping and cooking together (Wakaba finally learned to cook thanks to Runa)

They’re the kids that will collect wild flowers to make both of them bouquets

Ringo’s kids

They love her, but they all think she’s a bit old fashioned (stay at home wife and embroidery, although Kuri likes embroidery too). They don’t know much about her time on the battlefields as she doesn’t talk about it

She knows them so well, that they know they can’t lie to her so they better be quiet

Her tightest bounded kids are Frederick, Mika, Elke, Arashi, and Leonie

Those are the kids that will take her advice over their father’s each and every time

Asahi trained with her the most out all her children

[basuralindo]

YHMR chapter 20 finally up!!

Thank you all for being so patient with the updates lately, I've been impatient to get this one finished, but here it is at last! More commentary under the cut

-So, I guess everyone has their own unique approach to consent when it comes to Jamil. Azul, who's both horrified at the idea of unintentionally forcing Jamil into something and so over being the one begging for scraps of attention from people who find him repulsive, has decided to wait stubbornly for Jamil to prove what he wants by coming to him. Floyd, being Floyd, figured "why is everyone playing chess with this when I can just make him tell me what he wants straight up?". And Jade… having taken notes from both of their stories and observations, decided that Jamil couldn't be trusted to give an honest answer and therefore the most efficient and surefire way around it was to push him past his comfort level and see what he acts like when he's lying.

-Joke's on Jade, Jamil is also Very Aware of microexpressions, and can catch his subtle changes in demeanor just as well.

-I know I've mentioned the idea of Jade having sensory issues before, but now I'm adding touch repulsion because I just can't get enough drama (or representation tbh. I've seen like three touch repulsed characters in my entire life).

-believe it or not, I actually try hard to make sure not every character is perfectly capable of raising a single eyebrow. Jamil kinda does it in canon, and also just seems like the type who'd master the art of annihilating people with a single judgy expression since he can't talk back. There's no way Floyd wouldn't figure out how, and no way Jade would let him be the only one capable. So really that just left Azul as the only one in the relationship who can't, and that feels like it'd be exactly his luck.

-Was the oral agreement kiss a happy coincidence, or did Jade introduce the term in the hopes of getting Jamil to say "oral"? That's for him to know

-Jamil at it again with the modified curses for basic household tasks. Maybe I'm reaching but I feel like it makes a decent metaphor for everything he could so easily be, vs everything he's had to put effort into contorting himself to become.

-Alsoooo I know the fish are all good cooks, but considering how different food prep must be on the surface, and the way Jade is shown to be very formulaic with new projects and how Azul just, IS, I imagine they started out approaching surface cuisine through research and carefully following recipes, and there's bound to be a lot of practical tricks that they aren't experienced with yet. Which is to say, watching human cooks break rules and wing it with recipes must be new and interesting for them, because while they probably have some theories on how things could work if they tweaked it (like in Floyd's chef vignette), they probably haven't had much time to experiment as much yet

-I'm picturing Jade making the aprons for everyone, half as a joke. Azul's is designed to be cute enough to be embarrassing, but still fitting his tastes enough that he can tell Jade put real thought into it, and Azul loves it for the gesture despite the teasing. He would never let another soul know it exists, and will die when he finds out Jamil's seen it. Floyd's was something Jade knew he would love the second he saw the fabric (it's inspired by this tourist shirt I found)

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

I loved your dekugate toshinko headcanons! If it's okay, do you have more headcanons of them? I really love how you write them in your fics

Inko likes the edge pieces of brownies while Toshi likes the middle pieces. Soulmates.

Toshinori loves gift giving, and he’s a famous hero with too much money so price is never an issue. Inko is unfortunately a very practical person, so unnecessary luxuries are more of a hassle that takes up space. (Also there’s some insecurity about feeling like a gold digger since she makes way less than him.) She had to implement a rule making him ask her first before he bought a gift worth more than $200 otherwise their home would keep piling up with expensive crap she doesn’t need or want.

Inko has two exceptions to her aversion to luxury: food and travel. Inko had never been outside Japan before they started dating. Before Izuku was born, if All Might needed to go out of the country for hero work or events, Parakeet came with him. She fell in love with all the exotic foods of the world, and Toshi learned to cook specifically to bring those foods to her. He has multiple subscriptions to different food-based monthly loot boxes that deliver hard to find ingredients from all around the world. The thing that eventually convinces Inko to take a job at UA is the promise that she’ll get to eat his cooking every day again.

Toshi on the other hand is very easy to buy gifts for. Anything related to pre-quirk superheroes, or kitchen gadgets. They have nearly a dozen different shapes for their waffle maker as that was Inko’s go-to for his birthday for a few years.

Inko is hardly a bad cook herself, she just doesn’t enjoy it as much. There are only a few dishes she takes the lead on in the Midoriya-Yagi household, but everyone agrees she makes them better than anyone. One of those is katsudon, which is so incredible, it’s ruined all other katsudon for Izuku. Even though it’s his favorite, everything else ends up tasting bland in comparison.

She did take the job at UA not long after the events of Dekugate, teaching a much more involved search and rescue course than previously offered. It’s a lot harder than any of the kids expected based on how sweet she was on Nabu. Toshi, the eternal softie, asks her more than once to go a little easier on them. You ever seen that post comparing two people’s reaction to a cat being in jail? “Nooooo! He’s innocent!” vs “I have no sympathy for this criminal.” That’s them with the students.

But she and Toshi continued to be lovey-dovey in front of the students to embarrass Izuku. He doesn’t actually mind that much. He’s just happy his family is safe and together again.

[takeariskao3]

Hey Hannah, in your tpfy next gen fic, is there a reason Ginny keeps Lily going on date a secret from Harry? I thought it was a little bit odd, and I personally would be a bit peeved if I were him. I could be totally biased because I grew up in a household where if one parent knew something, the other one did also. It used to get annoyed when my mom couldn’t keep secrets from my dad, but she explained it wasn’t healthy to keep secrets from your significant other, especially whenever it was about your kids. She would say you are not just one person's child but both of ours, and i need to be on the same page as him and be able to communicate with each other so we have the other parents pov. They have a really healthy relationship and I try to implement that in my relationships too

i’m very glad that you grew up in a happy and healthy household.

as for the fic, it was never my intention for it to come across like ginny was keeping a secret from harry. he very clearly knows that lily is going to hang out with a group of muggle kids from the village. and i don’t know if you remember just starting to like someone when you were a teenager, but it’s mortifying. ginny knowing about lily’s crush is just her being observant. and it’s james who teases her by calling it a date.

the subtext here is that harry is a slightly overprotective father. and doesn’t particularly like being reminded that his children are growing up. it’s also only part 1 of 3, and my plan is to flesh out the harry vs boys subplot.