#being happy isn't 'disrespectful' challenge

[falling-mellow]

My mom is watching 🇳🇱 Ned-Hun 🇭🇺.

Someone got a big medical issue that stopped the game for a bit, and afterwards, the players were asked if they still wanted to play, to which both said they did. Someone makes a goal and their side is happy.

"How disespectful" my mom says, "towards that person from the medical issue."

I say "What do you mean? They're just happy with their goal. This has absolutely nothing to do with the person with the medical issue."

"Well," my mom says, "it now feels like they are laughing in the face of them, with their cheering."

"No they are not. Once again it had nothing to do with them. They were just happy they made a goal, nothing more."

"Everybody on sm is judging them for being happy after what happened."

"Maybe they shouldn't do that, then. It's not their fault that others want to turn it into this imagined mockery."

[marikosfragrance]

"What is a dealbreaker in a relationship with bllk boys?"

Characters : Isagi Yoichi, Karasu Tabito, Itoshi Rin, Hiori Yo

Note : thank you for the ask once again, i had fun doing this, I might do a part two with some other characters, but if any of you wants a particular character next, feel free to ask, mwah. Hope you enjoy reading!!

Warning : I am going be to be realistic and harsh about this to keep the "canonical" edge; even if you think that this isn't canon, I can accept it. This is just how I portray them, trying to make them as canon as possible.

Isagi Yoichi

Being in a relationship with Isagi is a pleasant experience, but it comes with a set of limits.

One of the major dealbreakers for him, is the lack of support in his partner. Isagi would prefer a partner that supports his goals and dreams, forming mutual respect for themselves and their goals. I can't imagine Isagi staying with a partner that also belittles his work— he values shared positivity in a relationship.

Another is an overly arrogant partner. A partner that looks down on him and doesn't recognize his efforts. Once again, he thrives on positivity on a relationship and it goes the same for equality. He respects his partner and expects them to do the same.

Another is a person that is negative. He would be more than happy to comfort an innsecured partner. He would see it as normal, but a partner that always complains about things, always thinks about the worst of everything and drags him into it, would drain him mentally and I cannot see Isagi wanting that.

Another is a partner that is disloyal. This is pretty much self explanatory, so I won't delve deeper.

There are many more, but these are some of the major ones.

Karasu Tabito

Karasu would be a good partner, but nevertheless, once again— limits.

One of the things that would be a huge dealbreaker for him in a relationship is the lack of intelligence. Don't get him wrong, you don't have to be Albert Einstein, but Karasu is smart. He likes his intellect either being challenged, or have his intellect also be matched. All in all, it would be a huge dealbreaker for him if his partner lacks the ability to be able to keep up with his fast thinking nature— and he would lose interest.

Another major dealbreaker is an overly dependant partner. A partner that always second guesses, very negative, doesn't have confidence and lacks independence would make him lose interest. Especially if his partner needs constant validation and demands his attention every minute of the day, and can't seem to trust themselves unless told to, would drain him mentally and make him lose interest.

Another major one, is someone that is disrespectful. As in, disrespecting his boundaries. He also likes his space, and he doesn't see the need to have his partner be involved in almost everything. He sees his partner as an equal and he won't ever mentally drain them, so for him, having some space set is a good way to thrive individually and not having to constantly depend on the other. And disrespecting of boundaries is also something he won't tolerate, having a partner that forces him to do things he isn't comfortable with, is a major turn off.

There are maybe some more, but let's keep it this way for now.

Itoshi Rin

Being in a relationship with him is already mentally draining enough, especially his situation with his brother. But if someone is persistent enough, these are his top major dealbreakers in a relationship. To which if done, he won't hesitate to drop his partner.

Rin is serious and independent. And one of the things that is a huge dealbreaker for him would be a partner that disregards his independence. Rin's goal to surpassing his brother, and becoming better at soccer has already become a part of his identity and self— stemming from his independence. So if his partner attempts to diminish that independence, intentionally or not, that partner of his won't be with him for much longer. He needs a partner that supports and understands his goals, aswell as understand how a relationship with him can have someone feeling neglected.

Another major turn off is a partner that is overly sensitive. For Rin, he has a blunt mouth, replicating his brother's harshness and he might accidently say things he might not mean to his partner. If his partner is someone that takes every word seriously, or can't seem to understand where he is coming from and doesnt have the ability to comprehend whether or not he meant what he said, can't last in a relationship with him much longer. Rin might not outwardly say harsh things, but sometimes it would slip from his tongue from time to time. A partner that can see through to him and understand he doesn't mean anything, would mean alot him.

Another is a partner that relies on him constantly. And is pessimistic. Rin has goals, and he is ambitious. He strives to achieves them— his independence and confidence would not mesh well with a partner that is negative all the time and not confident. Being reliant also is a major turn off as he strives in independence. He is already mentally drained enough with his brother and goals, I cannot see him lasting with a partner that needs constant assurance, validation and attention since he already is emotionally closed off as he is. There needs to be a balance.

Hiori Yo

For Hiori, he had grown with parents who imposed their own aspirations onto him, and such he lacked the emotional connection a child should've formed with their parents.

With this, I can see lack of genuine connection being a huge dealbreaker for him. He would deeply appreciate a partner that can make meaningful interactions and deep understanding. He wouldn't like it if his relationships are nothing more but just.... there. If he is in a relationship, he plans to make a deep connection with that person. If that person only interacts with him in a shallow manner or doesn't connect with him on a deeper and more intimate level, I can see Hiori not lasting long with that person. He might not even consider dating them.

Another major turn off is being controlling. He already carries the weight of his parents being controlling on every aspect of his life, as well as his future. They already have a hold of him, restraining him. I cant see him with a partner that does the same. In fact, he might even avoid people like that for the sake of himself. A partner like that would be a major turn off as he would feel as though the relationship is just another cheap reflection of his parent's control over him and his life.

Another is an overly dramatic partner that makes dramas and creates conflicts. He already has so much on his plate. Relationships are supposed to be a source of comfort, and a healthy space. Hiori is mentally drained by his parents and he won't be able to keep up with even more conflicts and dramas. Hiori likes a peaceful atmosphere, so his partner has to be able to offer a comfort place for him, and not another place filled with reminders of his parents.

___________________________

That is all!! Once again, thanks for the ask, enjoyed making this. Might even make a part 2 of my own hehe. But if any of ya'll want specific characters, don't be afraid to ask.

[hasbeenhazbin]

Okay no but I think Alastor seems quite fond of Mimzy, genuinely.

I don't know how much he Cares(tm) about her cause Alastor gives the impression of someone who doesn't necessarily form attachments the way most people do. But he's obviously very very comfortable around her.

His expressions are more at ease than they usually are, his voice is more genuine, a lot of the ways he expresses himself around her feels more real than anything else we've seen from him. He lets her be touchy and make flamboyant comments about him without ever seeming uncomfortable or upset like he does around everyone else (hell, he even initiated the hug when they first saw each other). He never threatens her and she isn't threatened by him (even when he kicks her out?). And it's clearly not an act they've been friends since they were alive (over one hundred years now??) and apparently she regularly comes to him for protection and favors without having her soul stolen or being threatened like, again, he's done (or tried to do) with literally every other person he's ever done anything for, and he seems happy with that.

Which makes it odd to me that he'd throw her out at all. He knows how she is, he doesn't seem to mind it, and in fact, he seems to enjoy her company generally. Hell, even when she outright challenges him on it, "You love taking care of me...there's no way you care about that place", he doesn't refute it, he just says "I can't have that here". Interestingly enough, while he's very tense, he also doesn't seem nearly as threatening even in this scene as he usually would, especially to someone he thinks disrespected him in some way, which only fuels my stance that he probably wouldn't usually throw her out like this under most circumstances.

But, well..he's "On someone else's leash" now. And I highly suspect that he doesn't have any choice except to protect the hotel (or charlie?) really. Which would explain why he threw out the only person he seems really fond of, why he keeps dodging the question of why he's helping the hotel in the first place, and possibly why he disappeared at the same time as Charlie's mom all those years ago..

[quackity1999]

# — THE MAILBOX is open for business.

i take care of those who take care of me. why do you think i have no one around?

jesus, put two and two together.

this is a c!quackity ask blog :]

SEND ASKS! feel free to pester c!quackity thru asks— general questions, LN reports, dsmp lore refs, tomfoolery and such are encouraged.

i HEAVILY support spamming the inbox.

happy to answer both anons + characters (dsmp, ocs, multiverse: film, musicals, videogames, etc). if ur a reoccurring anon then grab an emoji !

#quackitychirps indicates quackity replies. #charlieposting indicates slime replies.

[ TAG SYSTEM: HERE ! pls check it out. ]

↓ IMPORTANT INFO UNDER CUT. ↓

[ hiii. i'm prophet! he/it/rez prns. biggest cquackity kin known to mankind. yes i am australian 😎😎 ]

rules: literally fucking none. go ham!!!!!!! just please no godmodding. i'll delete anything that goes too far. 18+ mentions are fine — i'll tag accordingly, but it won't be the main focus. sooo have fun go crazy ( admin is 21. keep that in mind thanks )

this blog functions on dialogue instead of written out paragraphs of literature.

IMPORTANT: i don't write any literate rp ( eg; *character sits down and does a thingy* etc etc ) unless it's preplanned in dms for an event. if i am sent starters or asks with literate rp they'll most likely be deleted.

sometimes i throw in a bit of action in brackets, but this is an ask blog first and foremost so i focus on dialogue to communicate action / location / etc.

and in order to keep my blog tidy i don't respond to reblog replies. threads tend to get real lengthy + clutter up things. so— please send another ask instead of reblogging with a reply :) thank you for understanding!

there will be occasional nsfw topics. anything indirect or at the very least suggestive goes into #vaguely 18+. anything explicit will be tagged with 18+ mention. proceed with discretion.

details about quackity :

+ las nevadas era, mainly. if there's specific asks that require a response from vice pres quackity or manburg era q, i can adjust to that: #viceqchirps !

+ he's an avian hybrid! he nests often (usually within an amethyst geode). quackity has a history of being mocked for his instincts and avian attributes, much thanks to a certain ex-husband :/

+ this bitch loves a good debate. motherfucker is a lawyer (sorta) so hit him up with a challenge every now and then. give him fun facts. Threaten him. ask whats going on in his life! throw in curveballs.

[ his chat / asks often show up as pop-up ads. ]

+ my portrayal is canon aligned! las nevadas is important as hell to him, so here's a post that explains in-character how quackity runs LN: HERE. so. yeah, we do business around here. and also torture dream for the revival book but that's not important /silly

+ on that note, i would prefer to avoid interaction with positive/good depictions of c!schlatt for this blog. no disrespect to those who do prefer that, i just personally want to uphold the importance of how schlatt's abuse informed a Lot of character development for quackity. same goes for dream— he's a villain, not a kicked puppy. thank you!

+ i violently swerve between serious interactions and utter hysteria in my replies to asks. its like a fucking lucky dip here 😎 also soz for all the links but it Does make it easier

+ shipping isn't a goal here, so attempts to woo quackity will not end in a romance plot. ofc there'll be some flirting, especially w / canon characters he's had past relations with (schlatt, wilbur, eret, karl, sapnap). i hc he's had a fling with technoblade at least once LMAO. note: apologies to dapduo shippers but they're strictly friends in my portrayal for a reason. :]

+ during las nevadas he has fortnightly gatherings with foolish. he wouldn't fuck a citizen, but he'd fuck a coworker! morals, what're those again?

overall i'm not looking to write romance plots due to c!quackity's view of love during the LN era. (he despises it.)

all anons welcome!!! ADMIN IS 21.

for art references:

my dude's got big big wings such as the first two. no other wings anywhere else though! white / blind in the eye that’s scarred. he got gold fangs to replace his upper canines; to replace the actual missing tooth from techno’s axe but also for congruence. it's also a mockery: piglins love gold.

PLENTY of gold jewelry. quackity focuses so much on his appearance, so— earrings! a brass knuckle made from the rings of schlatt, karl & sapnap. he will never use his own feathers for decoration, though. he's got some necklaces, ofc, no piercings. maaybe an eyebrow piercing but idk . debatable

usually wears a white silk shirt, regular suspenders, black pinstriped pants / slacks, deep red tie with gold intricate detailing & a gold clasp to keep it together in the middle. a fancy pocketwatch with the las nevadas star engraved on the front. his blue or puma beanie obvs! shoes are either dark red (near black) snakeskin or italian leather. steel toed for dropkicking drea—

[ PAST EVENTS: AVIAN PINNED. ]

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 8

(i made a post earlier as a preface as to what to expect in this IDWTW, check it out if you missed it)

Alex [leading the intro of the video]: "....Logan and I, we're here in honor of Wimbledon to play *turns to a detached and uninterested Logan* table tennis. Because nothing says Wimbledon like table tennis."

Logan [finally looking up right at him, starting to laugh]: "I think that's like... disrespectful..."

[they both laugh]

oh, alex. alex albon. you beautiful human being you. something i've mentioned earlier that i'm going to get into now: their dynamic is fluid and compatible and gentle, but it's hard to exactly fit them into roles because they switch back and forth. there might be two primary positions, but they flip back and forth between them easily depending on what the other needs. so Role A might have this sort of gentle leadership and reassuring presence, guiding the other through the task and getting them to engage with the game even as they're unfocused and overstimulated. Role B is a little lost, too in their head, unable to focus and unable to engage until they find themselves prompted by the reminder that oh, it's not just a game, it's a game with him. but it's impossible to put either of them down as always A or always B because earlier in the series we've seen logan help alex stabilize and recenter himself through his hyperactivity and now, more and more often, we're seeing alex coax logan out of his little shadowy corner. and alex does it in a way that even though it's an unspoken but obvious instruction (get your head in the game etc.) it's so personal it actually looks intimate, even on camera. the way he waits til the end of the sentence (while logan tries to pretend he isn't there) and then turns to face logan, lifting his arm to make a point but also opening up his shoulders toward logan and straight up leaning forward with that smile. he's tilting his entire face away from the camera so he can smile it logan, so he can say with his eyes "i know we're just doing this stupid challenge but i want you to know i'm not trying to drag you through it, i know you they're making you jump through these hoops and it's not fun and it's condescending and insulting, but i'm here and we're gonna do it and i'm gonna make this fun for you." and logan looks up and meets alex's eyes and they're so on each others' levels that these connections happen within a split second, almost easy to miss but when you catch a glimpse of it i feel like i'm intruding through the lens of the camera...

no reason to include this other than i felt like citing my sources (it's written all over their faces)

generally underwhelmed by william's admin choices for these videos. not only are the challenges really unoriginal, but they're also really simple. there's not a whole lot of challenge and there's also not a whole lot to go off. even ferrari adding a blindfold to everything ends up with better content than this. it should be obvious– mclaren admin has this down– but what makes the content popular isn't the score of the stupid table tennis game, it's the interaction. it's the dynamic. one of the reasons we're seeing alex go so obviously out of his way to bring logan into the picture is because admin has given them basically nothing to work with, so there isn't a backtrack of this is fun! this is interesting! this is amusing! to distract us. there's just alex wanting logan to have fun with him and logan not being in a situation to want or even be able to have fun.

[Pretty uneventful game over, Alex wins]

Alex: "5-3, to the champion, it's the– uh, this was a great victory for me and I'm, I'm very happy, I–"

Logan 😊😊: "Does that mean you could win Wimbledon?"

sorry if you ever thought you were babygirl for alex albon, logan sargeant has blown you out of the water. this is the cutest thing i have ever seen. this is how my dog looks at me when i come home from college.

ahhh this is nice to see. these are the roles i was talking about earlier. this is a pretty good callback to episode 5, but once again vice versa– then alex was still feeling hyper and silly from the game and logan was the one both guiding the activity and kind of letting alex calm down on his own time and still engaging him, now we've swapped. logan is almost looking at the camera now– he's almost doing the actual media presentation part of his job as opposed to the cap covering his face, head down, body language less expressive than a statue. only he can't make himself look at the camera for more than a few seconds because he's looking at alex.

he isn't even moving the video along. he's just straight up interrupting. alex has to due some mental and verbal gymnastics later on to get the activity back to the wheel-spinning part but still makes a point to segue from what logan's yapping about to the wheel instead of cutting him off completely.

also, round of applause for whatever moment between this video and last video where they've both become totally at one with the "awkward slanted shoulder one arm on the table so they can inconspicuously face each other" pose because unless they're actively swinging a paddle that's pretty much their default for this video. because that's the game for them. the fact that they're with each other.

i think i have one more episode to do. i'm still going to do it, because leaving this unfinished would somehow feel worse, as if none of this ever happened. but it fucking did. it was here and it's on video and alex fucking remembers and i'm not going to give up on immortalizing these moments and what they might have meant just because james consonants somebody wants to erase them.

[icycoldninja]

Hey, I read your rules, but there was no way to signify whether or not your requests were open that I could see. If they're not, feel free to ignore this, but I've had a thought about the DMC boys.

What would it be like dating them throughout the years? Like your relationship starts in game one and how it evolved through game 5?

Again, feel free to ignore if you want, have a good night/day/evening/morning!

Oh, that's OK. Requests are open for now. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader longtime relationship headcannons

WARNING: MAAAAAJOR SPOILERS FOR ALL THE GAMES!!

¤ Dante ¤

-Let us remember that the DMC timeline is not in the same order as the games. When you first met Dante, he would have been in his late teens, during the events of DMC3.

-He would undoubtedly be very depressed and push you away after Vergil "dies", but you're committed enough to date someone like him, so you'll find a way to get him to open up to you.

-You'd end up accompanying him through almost every mission, spending your downtime at Devil May Cry, trying to keep the place clean. Of course, you'll also be working really hard to try and pay off his debts.

-You were by his side when he fought Nelo Angelo, being the only one he could truly rely on after that incident, and you were also one of the first besides Dante himself to meet Nero.

-By this point, he would be much older and much wiser, his depression now masked by an air of comedic flamboyance and extroversion. He does a great job fooling everyone else, but not you. You see right through him, but you don't really care. He's been your Dante since the beginning of this saga and he always will be.

-You'll watch him dive off the top of the Qliphoth with his brother whom he thought he lost, and you'll smile, silent tears of both nostalgia and sadness running down your cheeks. You guys have grown so much throughout the years. He started out as a disrespectful punk, much like Nero is today, and now he's grown into a seasoned middle aged man, but he's still your Dante.

-Will you ever get to see each other again? Most would tell you that you would not, but knowing that pizza-crazed idiot, he'll find a ridiculous way to come back home to you.

■ Vergil ■

-You met Vergil during his travels for MOTIVATION, as he searched for POWER. He did not want to get involved with a pathetic human such as yourself, but you stuck around anyway, and managed to make him get used to you.

-Yes, this does mean you are Nero's mother, and yes, originally, you guys planned to be a happy family before he began overthinking and worrying too much.

-He did try to warn you after Nero was born that sticking around him was foolish, and that you would only get hurt, but you didn't care. Turns out, he was right. You had the displeasure of watching him fall off the Temen-ni-gru to what you could only presume was his death.

-Heartbroken, you then sent Nero to an orphanage while you searched for a way to enter Hell and against all odds, you succeeded. You were met with horrors and challenges unlike anything you'd ever seen before down there, but you persevered for the sake of your loved one.

-You found him strung up in chains, the Yamato lying brokenn on the ground nearby, his body bruised and broken. You tried to free him, but Mundus appeared and commanded his demons to take you away. By the time you'd escaped and returned, he was gone.

-Thankfully, you never had to witness your beloved turn into Nelo Angelo, because honestly, the chances of your mental state surviving that whole ordeal is less than 10%.

-You would have had a tearful reunion when he came back, but he had higher priorities: destroying the Qliphoth. He'll be back soon, you reasoned, as you held your grumbling son in your arms, leading him back to the van. He always returns--he has to.

□ Nero □

-Your relationship with Nero really isn't that complicated.

-You guys met in the orphanage where he was abandoned by his very thoughtless mother, and grew closer as you got older.

-You comforted him when he was bullied by the other kids, oftentimes fighting back with insultes just as vile as the ones they threw at him.

-You are the only person Nero never gets mad at. You're an angel in his eyes for sticking by his side for so long, so he can't find it in his heart to snap at you.

-By the time he meets Dante and joins him as a fellow devil hunter, you guys are ready to elope. While your wedding plans get sidetracked by Urizen's emergence and the loss of Nero's arm, you're still madly in love.

-You were once again at his side, helping him while he struggled to cope with the fact that the very demon he had been attempting to kill was part of his dad all along, and continued to support him as he watched the only family he ever knew leap off a demonic tree, presumably never to be seen again.

-You still plan to get married, but Nero wants to wait until Dante and Vergil return so they can be present at the ceremony.

● V ●

-Your relationship with V may have been short, but in that small amount of time, you made extremely precious memories.

-You met him a few days after his birth, deciding to approach him after seeing him wandering around with that bird of his.

-Introducing yourself was one of the smartest decisions you'd ever made, for it opened the gateway to a beautiful friendship and passionate romance.

-You only knew him for a month or so, but it felt like you'd known each other forever. He just understood you in ways you never understood yourself.

-You help each other through your respective problems; he gives great advice and you help him walk on days when he simply cannot move properly on his own.

-Watching him return to Vergil was one of the saddest moments of your life, but at least you can take comfort in the fact that he's not dead, simply gone.

-Besides, Vergil can summon him again whenever he wishes, so perhaps if you befriend him, he'll give you your precious poet back.

[waterfire1848]

AU where Azulon was adopted, and by adopted I mean, Sozin stole him after his parents conveniently died because Sozin is so old and his genes are probably compromised. Also I could easily imagine Sozin getting desperate enough to steal someone's kid and bury the evidence as I imagine he forgot to have kids due to being angry Roku told him to fuck off or the kids he did have weren't benders so he banished them and didn't want another failure.

Hello, @deadlyangelofpurity !!!

Sozin becomes so focused on the comet that he forgets he's supposed to have children. After Roku dies, Sozin realizes that he needs to have some children of his own. He is the Fire Lord so there are one or two kids with his blood running around but they're all either nonbenders or weak benders so Sozin doesn't claim any of them. He's in his old age when he really starts to see that he needs to have some children, desperately. He goes to his inner council, a group of two or three men that are the Fire Lord's closest allies, are tells them about his worry. One of the men says he knows of a friend, an admiral, who just had a son with incredibly bending ability. After Sozin gets more information on the baby boy, he orders the infant brought to him and his parents killed. To the Fire Nation, the story is that a happy couple and their baby were sadly killed in a fire started by the admiral during a fight. Meanwhile, their Fire Lord just announced a healthy baby boy (with no mother in sight) and named him Prince Azulon, his rightful heir.

It's kept under wraps throughout Azulon's life that he's not related to Sozin by blood. The whole point of the Royal Family's rule is that they receive it by being blood related to "supposedly" Agni. So if it were to come out that Azulon isn't related to Sozin by blood then that opens the floodgates for people to potentially challenge his rule down the line. That being said, it's clear to literally everyone that Sozin had a child very, very, very late in life. (Councilmen: Fire Lord Sozin, I didn't even know- Sozin: Yes, it happened suddenly. One of the servants came to me a few days ago and said that this little one was mine. She saw that he had such firebending potential that she wanted to give him to me. Councilmen: Thank the spirits that there's an heir to the throne now. He'll make a fine Fire Lord one day. Sozin: Yes, he will). Azulon grows up in the palace as Sozin’s son exactly as you would expect. He’s taught to bend, put into academic lessons the moment he’s old enough to read, and into prince lessons once he’s old enough to walk. Sozin both doesn’t spend much time with Azulon because he’s old and because he’s not a good father so Azulon doesn’t really have much care at all.

Time goes by and Azulon lives under the believe that he’s Sozin’s son. Everyone just tells him that his mom was really young which makes a lot of sense to Azulon so he never questions it. Eventually, Sozin passes away and Azulon becomes Fire Lord. A few months before his father dies, he gets into an argument with one of his inner councilmen who starts telling people that Azulon isn't his real son and isn't royal blood. Most view his rants as those of an idiot who is spreading rumors because he's mad at the Fire Lord. Azulon doesn't really question anything because, again, it just seems so crazy, but he can't help but wonder if there is some truth to this and goes looking. When he goes looking, he finds his real birth certificate that was hidden away so no one would find out. (Azulon: FATHER! Sozin, on his death bed: Azulon? Azulon: Why!? Just why!? Sozin: You're going to have to be a little more specific, son. And what did I tell you about disrespecting your father? Azulon: You're not my father! Sozin: Huh? You finally found the truth. I was beginning to think you never would. Azulon: Why? Sozin: I needed an heir, you were strong and a baby. Everything worked out perfectly, wouldn't you say? Azulon: You killed my parents! Sozin: I made you a prince! *Cough! Cough!* What are you going to do? Tell the world? The Royal Family will crumble, the nation will crumble and you will be left with nothing more than whatever you can grab when they kick you out of the palace. Azulon: You don't care at all? I-I really thought- Sozin: It is not my fault that you were an idiot. The choice is yours, son. I'm already dead. There's nothing I can do to persuade you one way or another.) Azulon stays quiet.

Azulon later marries Ilah and has Iroh and Ozai. Ilah passes away seconds after Ozai is born which leaves Azulon with a hatred for Ozai. He can't look at him without seeing another parent killer like Sozin was. Azulon "raises" Iroh and Ozai as best he can while also being Fire Lord but the two brothers are pretty much left on their own. Iroh and Ozai are as close as they can be for having a ten year ago gap but they are still close and Iroh hates seeing his father hurt Ozai so much. He hates it enough that he decides to do something about it, but there isn't much he can do because he's not Fire Lord. That is until he comes across a familiar birth certificate and realizes the truth. Azulon would certainly have a lot of trouble if people found out he wasn't royal blood. The only problem with this is that it would also affect Iroh and Ozai and reveal that they aren't royal blood either. For a while, Iroh sits on this new information and doesn't do anything. Then comes the day that Azulon also burns Ozai's face (in a very familiar fashion) and Iroh stops him and decides that he needs to get Ozai away from here. He gives the birth certificate to the council then runs off with Ozai that night and with enough food and money for them to survive until he can get a job somewhere. (Ozai: Iroh? Where are we going? Iroh: Somewhere safe. Ozai: Is father coming? Iroh: No. No, we don't be seeing father...ever again. Ozai:....Thank you. Iroh: Always.)

Iroh and Ozai get stuck in a massive storm while they're sailing away from the Fire Nation and wind up in the South Pole. Because they are not wearing clothes appropriate for the weather or know how to fish, the two don't exactly have a fun first day. During their first night, a young mother finds them and brings them to her village so they don't freeze. The next morning, Iroh meets Kanna and Ozai meets Hakoda, Kya and Bato. Ozai is absolutely not up for leaving his brother's side and being around children he's never met (it has nothing to do with the fact that he's never been around kids his own age and doesn't know what he's supposed to do. Why would anyone even think that?). Kanna and the village are very iffy about letting two Fire Nationals stay in their home but they also don't like the idea of kicking out a 18 and 8 year old into the cold. Eventually, Kanna agrees to let them stay but says that they will kick them out if the two act like princes or start firebending at them. Since their in the middle of no where and Iroh basically just told the entire Fire Nation that he and Ozai have been accidentally lying to them for years, neither is very intent on getting kicked out of the village. (Plus, Iroh really likes seeing his brother getting to play with other kids....he just has to keep reminding Ozai that throwing snowballs doesn't mean you whack people straight in the face as hard as you can with a snowball.)

[spotlightlowlife]

Charlie Hazbin done better before?

The pilot in the first minute has her, in her own words let us know she is a dreamer, she outlines her viewpoints and objective clearly, lets us know she's been trying, she gets dismissed and she ask if the problem was the world or her.

We see in visuals that she has various superiors to outclassed her.

It is obvious as to why she has to take her plans to her target audience which is the commoner and start from scratch, because what good is being born into power if you can't use it?

Again, we are just at the start.

Charlie went to the media with her pitch, we would see that she isn't well known to the public and those who know mwhi she is don't care. We see that she is unprepared, unprofessional and not assertive, she quickly becomes a laughing stock.

Charlie was excited to announce she had the famous Angeldust on side which she managed through bribery, she was happy to boast that he was in the way to being one of her success stories, which backfires in her face immediately as he just made the choice to participated in a turf war going on at that moment for no particular reason. This turf war which immediately followed the cleanse.

Nobody has anything to lose, they're use to what they have, plenty seem comfortable with and are able to gain from death and destruction, so why would trust in pushover Charlie's words that she 'beleives' they're better than they are and can move on up to sit with those who wipe them out like vermin? Because that's what everyone even wants?

It's understandable that she would get used for her hotel, the hotel itself becoming the solution and the problem.

Charlie's mother is too busy for her and her dad is disappointed in her decision making, the only words of advice we hear Charlie echo from him are to not take shit from any demon. We know she's a pushover. She's out on her own, trying and feeling increasingly defeated.

Vaggie is sensible, she tries to prevent Charlie humiliating herself and making dangerous decisions that effect everyone but Charlie is going to do as she pleases regardless, she knows this. This could prove a great example of their class and power divide, unlike those she mixes with, Charlie is hellborn powerful princess, bad reputation is hurtful and nothing more and she doesn't fear for her life.

A pampered princess from a functional supportive family who didn't have to endure earthly hardships and demise.

Now remember, the pilot may not be canon.

The first four minutes of episode one pit Charlie pretty low in establishing and fleshing out her parents, her charismatic mother who rose to power but is now a missing person a dad who was born into grandeur but faced many issues who is depressed somewhere, then Charlie came to be, she hasn't done any of the greatness expected of her for no other reason than she's their offspring and petty disrespect to her face is welcome from randos she hangs out with who haven't really been introduced and don't particularly like one another.

The groundwork is done, the unflattering advert has been released to nobody in particular and Charlie has her group of various acquaintances, there's no chemistry, the only one we can really class as a friend is Vaggie who speaks up for her in defense. Why are they all together? Anyone who watched the pilot knows.

Now she's out to save sinners and not just help any demon which the pilot left open for us, but just as her clientele narrows, we meet Adam, the ancestor of sinners, an unreasonable dudebro who outclasses her.

Most characters outclassed her on the attention front, her plot vanishes into one of many subplots immediately.

The Charlie we had was idealistic, caring, enthusiastic, driven and hardworking all in her own right, pushing her own thing, but she was far from oblivious to the challenges she faced which were getting everybody in the room to listen and guiding troubled folk to change their ways. Obstacles faced with rehab.

This Charlie, antichrist chosen one fulfilling her destiny, is just there, somewhere at back.

It may be early days technically but still, the pilot and the first four episodes of Helluva proved things can move along quickly and coherently.

We are expected to take what we remember of the pilot with us as a shortcut to knowing these characters, 'canon' or not.

[itjazzbicch]

In The Midnight Sky

Pairing: Nozel Silva x (Commoner) Cosmic Magic-User! Reader 

Summary: Finally accomplishing their dream of becoming a magic knights captain and celebrating with the other captains, the reader realizes one captain isn't so fond of them and wonders why...

Warnings:  N/A (First time writing Nozel so I hope I did well!)

Word Count: 1.6k

"Let's all say-" I had never felt happier in my life, watching from my seat at the table in the bar, surrounded by my fellow magic knight captains as Captain Vangeance rose his glass up, congratulating me, "Congratulations to Y/N for being an amazing magic knight, now a captain of her very own squad, the Midnight Sky." 

"Yeah, congratulations!" An already drunk Yami slurred out alongside an even more intoxicated Jack, offering, "Have some drinks!"  

"Why, thank you," I chuckled, not only taking my drink but since I did have a free night, I decided to drink a little more along with them. 

Most of the other captains were just as kind and accepting, thankfully not as drunk as Yami and Jack though. It was a great way to end such a perfect day, except it wasn't the end. Not that I knew it yet. 

Only one captain didn't agree with this decision and that was Nozel. Not having a clue as to why upset me. I can't recall a time when I was rude, improper, or unprofessional around him. Maybe because I was a commoner? I have overheard Nozel's royal attitude before. 

That was my only guess, and I was curious as to why he was even here with all of us. Only having a glass of wine, maintained his distance, not joining the toast. He was something else, but I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. 

"Congratulations once again, Captain Y/N," Everyone was leaving and they made sure to say their final goodbyes for the evening, Captain Vangence making me laugh while apologizing: 

"And I apologize for my friend's drunken behavior." 

"No need to apologize. We all need a drink sometimes, am I right?" I assured them it was no issue, earning a smile back from the Captain: 

"Suppose you're not wrong. Goodnight, Captain." 

I knew that I was never going to get tired of hearing that word. Captain. I stood there smiling as I looked back on my entire life, and how I worked so hard to get to this point. Never felt so happy and accomplished, till a serious mood crashed down on me: 

"Just know, as a captain, you have serious duties and responsibilities now. Don't think it will be so easy. It's not meant for everyone." 

Nozel. He was the last to leave, walking past me, but before he got too far, I shut the door, asking with his back facing me: 

"Is there a particular reason that you don't like me, Captain Nozel?" 

If I was going to be a captain, I didn't want to start with any issues. This was probably the only time I'd ever catch him alone, so I could ask. 

Those blue eyes darted at me from a distance with a turn of his head, through that silver braid. I must admit, it was a bit intimidating, but I kept my manner, bowing to him: 

"I swear to you, Captain Nozel! All I ever wanted to be my entire life was to become a magic knights captain! I want to protect this kingdom and all its people. I swear, I have no kind of ill intentions and if I have ever done anything to disrespect you, I give you my deepest apologies." 

The moment of silence made me even more nervous, listening as if I was just a magic knight on his squad as he commanded: 

"Stand up. That's not necessary." 

Standing up straight with my hands behind my back, I could only maintain eye contact and hope for the best, but grew more nervous while listening to his authoritative tone: 

"It takes someone strong to be a captain, more than just magical abilities. It-" 

His words alone showed me what I had to do, not liking that I had to interrupt him, putting out my question: 

"Pardon me, but do you even remember my abilities? Let alone my accomplishments." 

"Is that a challenge?" Oh, great! He turned all the way around, head held high, and I tried my best not to panic, taking a breath before I stepped up to him: 

"That silver eagle that you fly on, make one for us, and let's go out to the mountain where you can see the capital."  

"And why's that?"  

"We are fellow captains now. Is it hard to have a little faith in your comrade?" Hoping my kindness and smile would charm him, I jumped for joy behind his back as he turned and made his silver eagle using his mercury magic.  

I tried to hide my excitement as I climbed on carefully, sitting in silence as he took us over the mountain. A smile was on my face when I realized that the sky was clear and there was a full moon. That was going to make my task a whole lot easier.  

"So, you plan on showing me that you're worthy," Nozel spoke while I climbed off, following me with crossed arms, "Show me." 

"Yes sir," Taking a step toward the edge we were near, I closed my eyes and felt the wind blowing past me, slightly chilly but I didn't mind in the slightest, smiling more as I took out my grimoire: 

"Cosmic magic, star shower." 

I made sure to turn my head to see Nozel's reaction. At first, he was confused, not seeing anything happening in front of him, till I pointed behind him and informed him: 

"Try looking that way." 

He did as so, able to hear his gasp being taken by the wind, a sky full of stars waving over with a cloud that gave off every color of the rainbow, illuminated by shooting stars passing by. From end to end, as far as the eye could see, there were stars and it truly looked like magic glazing upon the kingdom.

"I can do more than just that. I could summon a meteorite if I had to, make a star explode," I said seriously to him as he turned with a slightly shocked expression, "But it was already a beautiful evening, so why not add to it?" 

"Y/N-" Just the expansion in his eyes alone showed that even he was blown away by this and just to make sure that he had no other thoughts about me, I gave him our salute, admitting and swearing: 

"When I was a child, I lost my mother and father to the conflicts of this world. I never want anyone ever to experience the pain that I have. That is why I swear, as the Captain of the Midnight Sky, I will protect my team, my comrades, and every single person in this kingdom, with all the power in my being even if it cost me my life. As long as this heart is still beating, every time darkness tries to come near us, I fill it with stars and bring in the light." 

I had to close my eyes and take a breath, maybe those few drinks made me a bit more emotional, fighting some tears, off guard and a bit confused when I felt a warm palm on my cheek, thumb wiping away a tear, Nozel's voice as soft and sweet as anything I've ever heard: 

"No need to cry. You know, it's not because I never liked you or thought that you weren't worthy of being a captain." 

"What is it then?" My eyes opened quickly and his hand on my cheek gave me an idea. His cheeks turned red while he gazed away, trying to think of how to explain, finding it in the heat of the moment: 

"This is why." 

The wind passing by stole all the oxygen in me right as Nozel's lips met mine, someone who seemed to be so cold having so much heat radiating from him, lips soft and tender with every touch, that hand on my cheek finding my shoulder, one arm wrapped around them and the other around my hip to keep an embrace. 

I've never felt such passion, Nozel being the last person I expected it from, eyes opening wide as our lips parted and he let go of me.  

"N-Nozel-"  

"Pardon my behavior," There he was, more flustered than before, "I just-" 

"It's okay," Snapping out of my shock, I understood what he meant, taking his hand softly, "I can tell you're not the best at expressing your feelings and that's okay. I understand." 

That made him smile slightly, squeezes my hand into his softness, becoming the one who was flustered as he asked shyly: 

"Congratulations on becoming Captain of your squad. Your power is like nothing I've ever seen. And maybe, well, we can go out sometime." 

"Nozel, are you asking me out on a date?" I wasn't trying to tease; I couldn't believe this was happening! 

"Yes-" His gaze reconnected and was as deep as ever, "I am." 

"Well," I smiled, wanting to ease the nervousness from the both of us, showing that I had emotion too, and since he kissed me first, I kissed this time, "I accept. Just name the time and place." 

"I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow," He smiled back, giving me one last peck before I pulled away. 

Tonight didn't go how I saw it going, but gosh I couldn't stop smiling now. Not sure if Nozel knew of this ability of mine or not, I took a few steps back towards that same edge, levitating off the ground.  

"I'm looking forward to it, Nozel," Blowing a kiss and winking, a brighter smile on my face before I left off into the stars, his eyes in awe of my smile disappearing into the star-filled, midnight sky, "Goodnight and sweet dreams."

[mlove44lh]

Don't hurt yourself

Chapter 8 - Redemption

Masterlist

Previously chapter

Warnings: angst, swearing, mention of loss

Words: 9,247

there are probably some mistakes in the translation. I'm a bit rusty. Soryy

“I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade. My grandma said "Nothing real can be threatened." True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption and my torturers became my remedy. So we're gonna heal. Me and you.”

Day 0

“I've dreamt about this for so long that I cannot even recall when this idea first took root within me.

I've memorized and held in my mind every tiny detail of this day. I've spent hours envisioning how it would unfold, researching without even having someone in mind to share this dream with.

And yet, even with all the planning and rehearsing every step in my mind for this perfect day, I never anticipated it would be as perfect as this.

The sky is clear and without clouds. And even though the wind is present, it's almost imperceptible on my skin, even with my arms uncovered.

Just for this weather in the middle of November, I could already consider this day a miracle, as evidence of a love that will be eternal and is already perfect.

The veil gently sways around me. I catch a glimpse of my guests through the sheer fabric that surrounds me. I know I have all my family and friends present, and I'm overjoyed that everyone is finally gathered. But I couldn't look at anyone else now except my future husband, who awaits me at the altar with a smile that assures me everything will be okay in our new life together.

And I believe him with a confidence I didn't know existed within me.

His dark eyes shine like never before, a privilege I've never witnessed. I know I grip my father's arm with a certain strength, but I need to feel the tension in my fingertips at least to prove to myself that I am still alive, and this is not a dream.

What reassures me is knowing that, even though I am a dreamer, I could never fantasize about such perfection.

It's as if my entire life has led up to this moment.”

Day 2,520

I waited for something. Something big, like in the movies. Something that would make me change, that would make everything fall into place perfectly so we could leave it all behind.

Even after all that, I waited. After the disrespect, after hearing from the mouth of the most despicable person I've ever known all the horrible things he was capable of doing, after being called scandalous for a behavior I know was unforgivable. Even after all of that, I waited for something.

But that something never came.

Real life is cruel, and these kinds of things don't happen. Sometimes what seems real is indeed real; sometimes the one pulling the trigger is the same person who vowed to protect you. And this kind of betrayal is the worst of all.

I was forced to stop believing in my personal fairy tale when the prince charming drove a knife into my chest.

I was yanked out of my perfect life, and the jolt was so strong that I don't know how I survived.

I look at my ring finger and even though the wedding ring is no longer here, the mark will probably last for a long time, as a visual reminder of all this.

The room is cold, and I feel his gaze on me, which makes the feeling of suffocation even bigger. My gaze remains low; this is the last place I want to be.

The door opens and the silence is cut by the mediator who introduces himself and then sits down between the four of us.

My heart races as I realize what is about to happen.

"We can begin the hearing."

Day 365

"I didn't think it could get any better after we got married, but I've never been so happy to be wrong.

The year has flown by, and all our time together has been precious. Even though Lewis isn't always present, when we're together, it feels like all the challenges of jet-lags and sleepless nights become insignificant.

One of his hands blocks my vision while the other guides me gently by the waist. I feel Lewis laughing behind me, while I become more restless than ever.

The hustle and bustle of London is miles behind us. Lewis drove, which is unusual since I'm usually the one behind the wheel.

I have no idea what I'll find here, so I eagerly await the revelation I've been waiting for hours.

"You know I hate surprises."

"I know. But you're going to like this one." He stops walking but keeps his hand over my eyes.

"It's our first wedding anniversary. It had to be something big."

"Something big?! Lewis, I got you a watch."

"And I loved my new Rolex. And this gift isn't exactly just for you; it's for both of us.”

Lewis removes his hand from my eyes; it takes me a few seconds to adjust to the brightness. The sunlight illuminates a large field surrounded by greenery. The weather is chilly, but the sunlight makes everything seem warm and cozy.

In the midst of two tall trees stands a house with a white-painted facade. Windows adorn the front of the house, along with some flowers planted around the residence.

It's a beautiful, delicate home, large enough for a family to live in, yet not so grand as to be intimidating. It's the perfect refuge for a lifetime, surrounded by the people you love.

I spend a few seconds observing the facade. Lewis steps away from my side and comes in front of me. His smile is huge, and I can tell by his expression that he's waiting for me to say something. But I wouldn't know what to say when I don't even know what I'm looking at now.

"What do you think?" His expectation implicit in his words.

"Lewis...” It can't be this, he can't have just bought a new house for us. “What is this?"

"Wait. I want you to see inside."

His hand fits into mine, and Lewis practically drags me inside. My excitement is so overwhelming that I can hardly think straight now. This is so much more than I expected.

The living room is spacious, and the wooden beams make everything cozier. The furniture is already arranged, and it's as if they've taken every detail from one of my dreams.

"There's a pool outside." He opens the large glass door, revealing more outdoor space. “We can put a big table here for when we have guests.”

His words come out quickly, like an excited child with something new, his eyes shining like two stars as Lewis divides his gaze from me to the entire house. He doesn't take long to return with his hand in mine, leading me to the second floor of the residence.

The master bedroom adopts a lighter tone than the rest of the house, covered in wood. The white paint on the walls makes the room even more spacious. Everything looks clean and new.

"You really did this?" My voice comes out almost in a whisper, and I then feel the urge to cry that hits me. “Lewis, it's perfect.”

"It's ours," he says. His voice is lower compared to minutes ago; the excitement seems to have eased. "I planned over the last year."

"This is... I'm speechless. It's perfect. But how would we do this? I mean, with our work and everything else."

It would be madness to move to the countryside from London at a time like this, even though it feels like a dream.

"I may have anticipated things a little. But we can come in a few years. This could be the house where we'll grow old together and raise our kids. It's the perfect place. We just have to wait a bit, and in the meantime, we can come whenever we want some time alone. 45 minutes from London and no neighbors for a few blocks sounds good, right?"

I can only smile. The idea of having a family by your side and growing old together is still something that can truly move me.

"Yes. It sounds perfect."

He smiles.

"Come on, I want to show you one last thing."

I can barely take in the details of the room before being pulled again.

Lewis opens the door to the room next to ours; unlike the others, this room has no furniture. A large window is situated in the middle of one of the walls, illuminating every corner of the room. I stand still at the door while Lewis finally calms down behind me.

"There are two more rooms like this, still empty." I feel the excitement within me as soon as I realize where Lewis is going. "We'll set them up together, at the right time. For our children. Let's fill this house with happiness, Y/n."

I turn to him, and I feel some tears escaping from my eyes. I couldn't be happier about this surprise.

I press our lips into a kiss that takes a while to break, just so I can speak before returning to him.

"This is all I want.”

"There are no children in common between the couple, and the divorce seems to be agreed upon by both parts. If there is no impasse with the last proposed agreement, I believe there is no need to extend this hearing."

‘Divorce. Agreement. Both parts.’ It looks as bad as it sounds. How could there be agreement on something as painful and profound as this? That's not what happens, I'm not here because I want to, I'm here because I need to be here, I'm here because I owe it to myself and the part that died inside me. I owe this as justice to the girl who believed so much in fairy tales. So no, there is no agreement whatsoever with this situation.

I glance at my lawyer and gesture to speak with him, but it doesn't become necessary. His throat clearing draws the attention of the few people in the room.

The proposed divorce agreement in the document I left with Lewis that morning was denied, as were the other two made by my lawyer. It seems there was some kind of impasse between what Lewis desired and what his representatives sought.

So, I waited for the counterproposal, and when it came, I tried to come to terms with it. There was much more for me than I asked for in the previous agreements, and much less than what I could receive if I had the slightest interest in a legal battle. The perfect agreement between a remorseful man who thinks money buys karma and the lawyers protecting his empire.

But overall, it wasn't that bad, except for one detail.

"There is a disagreement from my client regarding the agreement proposed by Mr. Hamilton."

They look at us with curiosity. Lewis raises his gaze full of doubt, which meets mine.

"And what would that be?" The mediator settles into his chair, leaning towards us.

I could vomit if I had ingested anything. I wish I could just accept anything proposed and leave right away. But I don't want to leave with anything other than what already belongs to me, and I certainly have no interest in something that would keep me tied to Lewis in any way.

I know this is another thing I shouldn't do. Especially if the hypothesis in my mind proves to be true. But I don't care anymore; I have every right to use the shell of a bad person at least once.

I have the right to escape from him.

"My client is no longer interested in the shares related to Mr. Hamilton's companies. As well as the residence in London. We would like to present a counterproposal, where the shares would be transferred back, and the house would be entirely in his name, if there is agreement, of course."

I watch my lawyer pass new papers to the mediator, who carefully examines each one.

I want to disappear from his life in every way possible; I won't heal if I don't distance myself from him. Continuing with the shares in my name would put me in moments like this. Trapped at a meeting table with him by my side. And the house would only remind me of everything that never was. I don't even want to drive past it, even though it's a new residence; it's infested with ghosts for me.

"What?!" Lewis diverts everyone's attention, even from the mediator, who is still examining the papers in front of him. "What are you talking about? These shares are rightfully yours, Y/n. We earned this together." Hearing his voice in person after so many weeks makes me want to cry.

"Mr. Hamilton, please. Only your lawyer has the right to speak at this moment, okay?" The mediator's voice becomes slightly louder to draw Lewis's attention.

There's a lot of disbelief in his gaze, while mine overflows with sorrow.

If only it were just businesses and numbers, the only things we conquered together, all of this would be infinitely easier.

"Don't do this. The shares are yours too, you know that."

Lewis completely ignores the mediator and continues speaking directly to me. His gaze reveals pleading, as if he's seeking redemption and the only way to achieve it is to ensure I end up with millions in shares.

It's tempting. But we're talking about a woman with a wounded ego and immense pride. So, thanks, but no.

"Mr. Hamilton, please."

The mediator seems a bit nervous. Meanwhile, his lawyer becomes restless and leans in to speak with Lewis.

"If she's giving up willingly, you should consider it. We're not talking about something small, Lewis." His lawyer's voice is low, but within this tiny room and with everyone else silent, it would be impossible not to hear his words.

Lewis still looks at me, and I still look at him. I haven't opened my mouth to respond to him, and I don't intend to. All I want is to leave this place soon with what I want, or rather, what I don't want.

"I don't care about that." Lewis responds to his lawyer, but still looking at me. I could even say there's a hint of anger in his expression, if only I still knew this person in front of me.

Day 1,397

“Waking up to the smell of coffee at home is one of my favorite things because I know when it happens, he's home. And it couldn't be any different; he promised me he would be.

My arms wrap around him as soon as I find him in the kitchen. His bare torso is warm and makes me feel at home like nothing else ever came close to achieving.

His hands hand me a cup of coffee, and our lips come together in a kiss full of the longing that seems never to go away, no matter how close we are.

"How is it possible for someone who hates coffee to make the best coffee I've ever had in my life?!"

Lewis laughs before placing his hands on my waist.

"You say that because you're in love with me and like everything I do. Literally, everyone who's had my coffee didn't like it."

"That's because they don't know how to appreciate the strongest coffee that has ever entered their system." Laughter echoes through the apartment. "But seriously, honey, as much as I love it, you have to go easy on the amount of grounds. I could stay awake for days if I had more than one cup in the morning."

His hands tighten around my waist enough to make me sigh. I place my mug with the hot liquid on the counter and soon bring my hands back to his bare back.

I see the smile fading from his face, replaced by a serious expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

"Want to share that?"

"I'm not sure you'll like the idea very much." A shy smile returns to his lips and my curiosity rises. "I know that wasn't the plan. But I can't stop thinking about it."

His eyes are no longer in contact with mine.

"Come on. Tell me."

"Well." He seems anxious, perhaps genuinely concerned about my reaction. "I think, maybe. If you want. We could start trying to expand the family."

My smile drops.

Not because I don't want this, but because I want it so bad that just the idea of Lewis also wanting it even before what was planned between us makes my stomach churn with happiness. I don't know if it's because of Lewis's strong coffee or my excitement, but suddenly I become aware of my accelerated heartbeat.

"I mean. If you still want to wait, we can. I know you have your work, and..."

"No!" I interrupt his train of thought. "I just wasn't expecting that right now." I have to think about the words before I can say them. "Lewis. Are you serious?"

I pull his face back to mine and force him to look at me. We are so close to each other that Lewis must be able to feel my own heartbeat against his chest.

"I've been thinking about this for a while. I know we agreed to wait until after Formula 1, to move to London and start our family. But I don't think I'm going to retire anytime soon, and I want a family with you now. And I know it will be crazy to have a child in the middle of all the travels and chaos of our life, but..." His smile grows even wider. "It will be our child, right?! If there's someone who could handle all of this, it's him. Or her."

My excitement is so overwhelming that I can hardly think of anything to say.

I know my eyes overflow with happiness and emotion, and I see Lewis's eyes mirroring the same.

I pull him closer to me, pressing against him with no desire to let him go anywhere.

"You know how much I want this." I pull him into a kiss that ends up being a bit messy due to our excitement.

"Is that a yes?" Lewis separates us for a moment to speak.

"Of course!"

"We'll take a break so that Mr. Hamilton's lawyer can review the counterproposal and to calm things down a bit.”

I watch both of them stand up. Lewis leaves the room almost running, while his lawyer follows him with the new papers in hand. I feel numb, I need to tap my feet on the floor a few times to make sure I won't fall when I stand up.

“Y/n. Are you sure about the counterproposal?” Adam, my lawyer, turns his chair towards me. His voice is low even though there's no need for it. Since there's no one else in the room. “I know you have your reasons, but we're talking about over fifty million. That could become much more over the years. Giving it away like this to him could be a mistake. You could at least sell them.”

"No. I don't want anything more from him, Adam." His expression reveals what he doesn't say, which makes me feel the need to justify myself. "I'm not saying this just because I'm hurt, I'm saying this because I really want out of this, I don't want to deal with anything related to Lewis anymore. And I know it may sound crazy, but every penny coming from those shares would only make me feel even worse. So yes, I am positive about my decision."

"Alright. I understand." His compassionate look kills me. I turn away from his expression to avoid dealing with that pity stamped on his face. "I think they'll agree, there wouldn't be a reason to delay this any further."

"I hope so." I don't wait for a response, leaving Adam in his place and stepping out of the room in search of fresh air.

Day 1,716

"I promised I wouldn't disappoint myself this time. I thought it would be easier not to see what I wanted for the seventh consecutive time. But no. Every month, it just hurts more.

I stare at the small plastic object in my hand as I feel a lump in my throat.

A damn red line.

One. Just one.

I feel Lewis's arm around me and his face resting on my shoulder.

We started trying a few months ago. We knew that if we waited for the perfect moment, it would never come. We travel all the time, and Formula 1 takes up a good part of Lewis's life. Besides, it's a dangerous sport.

But the desire for our children proved to be so big that any potential problem seems microscopic in comparison. We have a serious relationship and stability, as well as plenty of willingness and love, what could be missing?!

So, I stopped taking the pills and waited for it to happen. But it didn't. Not in the first month, not in the second, it started to bother me in the third. But I didn't imagine it would reach the seventh unsuccessful attempt.

I try to contain myself and pretend to myself that everything is fine. We're young, we have plenty of time to make this happen. But the frustration is written all over my face.

"We can keep trying,” his voice comes out muffled because his face is resting on me. “It's the best part anyway,” he jokes.

A soft laugh escapes my lips.

“Yeah. Maybe next time, huh?”

I take the test out of my field of vision and look at Lewis. He adjusts his posture and nods while looking at me attentively.

Maybe he's waiting for some kind of outpouring, or even restrained tears. But there isn't any. Not because I'm not feeling sad, but because it wouldn't make sense right now. Especially when he's just minutes away from leaving home for another one of his countless work weekends. A tearful wife wouldn't be the best thing to leave on his mind before all the concentration needed for a Grand Prix.

“We could consult with a specialist if you want.”

He stands up and goes to his suitcase.

“No. I don't think it's necessary now.” My face betrays my words. The question of why a pregnancy hasn't happened yet has been weighing on my mind for months. “We can wait for some more time.”

He sighs.

“Alright.” His hands rest on the handle of his suitcase. “I have to go. Will you be okay?”

“If I say no, will you stay here with me?” Compassion fills his eyes, making me immediately regret what I just said. I truly wish he would give up work sometimes, but I would never ask him for that. Not wanting to be inconvenient, and already knowing the answer. “I'm kidding. Go, go save the world, number forty-four.”

“You're my world.” Lewis walks over to me and plants a kiss on my forehead. That makes me smile. “See you on Monday.”

I go down the dozens of stairs arranged in front of the court. I sit down on one of the steps before reaching the end of them.

The streets are bustling. It couldn't be different on a Tuesday morning. I try to focus on the lives of people swiftly passing by, hoping to distract myself from the lump in my throat.

There are so many things on my mind that I can't even concentrate on one of them. It's like a buzzing is taking over me, leaving no room for anything else. Neither my expectations for a new life, nor the object kept in my bag, nor the hypothesis that should be consuming me, nor my marriage dissipating while I watch it all, nor my exhaustion. None of this is enough to make me feel anything.

I notice his presence beside me through my peripheral vision. He sits down, leaving almost no space between us but without touching me. I don't move to look at him or to move away from his figure. I remain focused on the people walking in front of us, wishing at this moment to have the life of the lady strolling peacefully with her dog through the streets of Monaco.

"How did we get to this?"

Of all the things I expected to hear from Lewis after weeks of not talking, this would be the last of my assumptions.

I don't think much before responding to him.

“I don't know.” I feel his gaze on me, but I still don't turn to him. “I don't think it happened at a specific moment. If only we could attribute it to one exact thing, it would make things easier.”

I can hear his breath next to me; he seems shaken, restless in his place.

“Y/n, if I could go back and undo what I did...”

“It wouldn't change a thing.” I interrupt his speech. I couldn't bear to hear Lewis's lamentations, especially at a moment like this, where I'm so detached from my own self that I'm not even aware of my emotions. “Our marriage ended before you cheated me. It ended long before that, long before losing our child. It happened, I don't think it's a good idea to keep tormenting ourselves thinking about what could have been. Because it wasn't. Simple as that. We're here today.”

He stares at me; I know he's looking into my eyes, and from the position of his body leaning towards me, I can deduce that he longs for my reciprocity. But I don't want to, and I can't look at him right now. As much as all my instincts honed over these years are begging me to go towards him.

“What if we kept trying?" He doesn't even believe in his own words. The sentence comes out like a final sigh.

“We tried for a long time. But we gave up at some point. We kept giving up on small things until they turned into huge things.”

This is the end. I know that. I've had it in my mind for a long time, and I'm sure of this decision. But it should hurt less. I should at least have the ability to breathe or to face my — still — husband.

I don't feel my words coming. I just feel the need to say them, maybe because I need a conclusion. Or because I got used to sharing everything with him, and that's still something that needs to go away.

“I don't feel happy to be here today. Maybe I should have fought more, and you too. But despite that, I know this is the right decision. And even if you don't admit it, I know you agree with me. There's no point in thinking about what could have been done when, in the end, we're here today. And nothing will change that.”

Finally, I gather the courage to look at him. He looks like a complete stranger, a totally different person than he used to be.

His gaze, which was always the thing I loved most about him, now doesn't have the same effect on me. Everything about Lewis seems off. And even though I'm close to him, I don't feel him here.

The person by my side has become a stranger. I'm overwhelmed by grief for someone who is alive and in front of me but is nowhere near who they used to be.

I stare at him for a few seconds before speaking again.

“That's the only regret I have. This habit of deceiving ourselves, the complacency we let take over our marriage. Because if we had realized earlier, if we hadn't let it get to this point where we both ended up hurt, then I would remember all these years with immense happiness. But that's not what happens. I can't even look at you because it hurts so much.” I watch tears invade his eyes right in front of mine. I feel anger and regret at the same level. “And that's the part that kills me. Knowing that the best years of my life will be the most painful to remember.” Only when I stop to breathe do I realize that I'm also crying. I let the tears flow freely down my face as I continue my train of thought. “I don't know if this feeling will change. If with time, it will get better, all I know is what I'm feeling today and what I'm living today. And I've decided that from now on, this is what I'm going to focus on. The present.”

He doesn't say anything for some time.

We stare at each other without any intention whatsoever. There's nothing to be said that would make any difference.

“I'm sorry.” I barely recognize his voice, just like the rest of his being.

“I know. Me too.”

Day 2,125

“The notification sound on my phone breaks my focus from the TV program. I grab the device resting on the couch cushion and check the notification. As soon as I read the message, my boredom is replaced by another wave of hope, as it has been happening every month for over a year.

The notification arrived, and Lewis is home today, things that almost never happen at the same time. Maybe this is a sign that this month will finally be the one that works.

Everything is seen as a sign for a desperate woman.

I jump off the couch and head towards our bedroom.

Lewis is lying down, his attention fixed on the large TV, airing the same program I was watching in the living room. The realization leaves me confused, and even a little sad. Why would he prefer to stay away from me than do exactly the same thing he's doing here, next to me?!

I swallow my wounded ego and ignore the unpleasant feeling that this understanding left me. After all, what we need to do is much bigger than my tantrum.

I climb onto the bed and approach him. Lewis doesn't bother to move.

I straddle his lap without any difficulty. My kisses start on his lips and are instinctively reciprocated by him, but his hands remain inert. I grind on his lap in an attempt to stir something. Nothing.

I move my kisses towards his abdomen, and it's only at that moment that Lewis takes some action. Not the one I wanted, of course.

“Y/n. Love. Not today, okay?*

His hands come to me, not to enjoy more of my touch, but to stop me from continuing. This irritates me, but it doesn't prevent me from continuing. I return to his neck and distribute kisses on his skin, with no intention of giving up what I need.

“Come on. It'll be quick.”

I lower my hands to the elastic of his sweatpants while still showering him with kisses, but my movements are interrupted by him.

“Y/n, stop! I said no.” His voice is loud, which makes me stop immediately.

He moves away from me abruptly. Lewis gets up without any care for how he leaves me on the bed.

I feel embarrassed like never before, anger comes in the same dimension.

”Lewis, what the fuck?!”

“I'm tired of this shit. What do you think? That I'm a damn robot you can press a button and get whatever you want? That's ridiculous.”

“I thought you wanted this too.”

Lewis's breathing is audible; he's restless as he stares at me.

"And I want to, but not like this. When was the last time we had sex because we were horny, not because we're obligated to fuck every time your phone notifies you about your fertile period, Y/n?"

"I don't know, Lewis. I'm trying to get what both of us want here."

"Yes, you're trying that by becoming the coldest person on earth. What's the next step? Do you want me to come in a jar and hand it over to you?"

"That's actually a good idea. It would make things a lot easier."

Sarcasm slips out of me effortlessly. I feel anger rising in my body. And anxiety too.

"For God's sake!" He enters the bathroom but leaves the door open. I hear the running water from the tap for a few seconds before he speaks again.

"What the hell do you want, Lewis?!" My voice erupts in a scream.

He comes back quickly to stand in front of me.

“My wife!" He yells too. "That's what I want, Y/n. Can you bring her back?! Or has this obsession taken her away too?"

My frustration is so intense that I feel my throat burning with tears that want to fall. We've never shouted at each other, never fought like we are now. Everything feels like a horrible and senseless chaos.

"I had a terrible weekend. And you didn't even bother to ask how things are. I asked you to come with me to the Grand Prix, and you chose to stay here, probably to consult with another doctor to tell you exactly what all the others have said, if there's any other doctor left in Monaco that you haven't consulted. You're so blinded by this idea that you forgot to keep living your life."

A humorless laugh escapes my lips.

"Oh, poor little thing. You had a terrible weekend? I had a terrible year, Lewis! And I'm not crying because no one came to console me or anything like that. I'm trying to do what I should, what both of us want. You don't have the right to judge me for that." I get out of bed and walk towards the door. Frustrated and overwhelmed by guilt. Today could have been the day, but it wasn't. It wasn't because he didn't want it. "Grow up, Lewis. And if you want someone to pat you on the head, go find someone else, because it won't be me."

It's the last thing I say before slamming the door behind me.”

“I think we should go back inside.”

His voice breaks the silence between us, which has lingered for some time. We stopped talking minutes ago, but we didn't feel the need to move away from each other.

I think we both know that this is the last time we stay together like this. There's no guilt in wanting to prolong this moment, as sad as it may be.

I nod as I look back at him.

I know this was the opportunity to finally tell him what I believe is happening, but I simply can't. It was too hard to get to this point, and sharing my suspicions would only hurt him and further delay the inevitable. I don't need to subject him to that, because if I'm truly right, I know this issue won't be something that lingers for long. And if I can spare him from this additional pain, that's what I'll do.

"I'll sign the papers. If that's really what you want."

"No. That's definitely not what I want, Lewis." I stand up alongside him. "But it's what we have to do if there's still any respect left for what we both lived together."

We enter the grand courtroom together, taking small steps. We walk side by side without any hurry towards the cold room that awaits us, not saying a word. No need for more lamentations. Certain of what will happen, uncertain about the future we hadn't imagined without each other.

I return to my seat, my heart racing as everyone settles in.

"My client agrees to the counterproposal," his lawyer breaks the silence.

"That's good. Now that both parties agree, you may finally sign the documents, please," the mediator seems almost relieved.

The knot in my throat chokes me. I want to escape from here, I want to cry like a baby right now. This hurts like hell. I didn't think I would have a breakdown at this moment, not when everything is so close to ending.

I try to hold myself together, to keep my breathing in check and not show how close I am to bursting into tears and screams. I think I do well in that, as the only person who notices my instability is the only person in the room who is in the same situation as I am.

His red eyes betray a nearly palpable pain.

It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be ending this way.

We promised we would die together, old and gray, in our house with the white façade surrounded by flowers in London.

It wasn't supposed to end in a cold room at the first instance court in Monaco. This is so damn unfair.

Lewis takes the white papers that were handed to him by his lawyer. His hands shake, but only I notice. He doesn't avert his gaze from mine, not for a second, not even as he picks up the black pen placed in front of him. He wants to be sure. He wants one last confirmation from me.

Day 0

"Our hands fit perfectly. I instantly feel calmer with his touch. I step away from my father as I approach my fiancé.

“You look perfect.” He whispers in my ear as he gets close. The emotion in his voice is clear. Lewis plants a kiss on my cheek before turning to my father.

They shake hands. My father pulls Lewis into a half-hug, I know something is said in the midst of it by the older man, but I don't hear what. Just the possibilities that pass through my mind are enough to make me laugh.

Lewis doesn't take long to turn back to me; now his attention is entirely mine.

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here on this special day to celebrate the love and union of two souls who have decided to embark on this journey of life together.”

The celebrant begins to speak. My heart races, and the smile on my face feels like it will stay there forever.

Lewis looks more handsome than ever. His happiness manages to make him even more beautiful, as if that were possible. I want to look around, see if the flowers arranged are the ones we chose, or if everyone we invited is present. But I couldn't, I couldn't look anywhere when I have the best thing in my life right in front of me. Moving his mouth and telling me "I love you" without making a sound. Just for me to know, just to make it clear.

“Marriage is a unique moment, as it is the union of two individuals who choose to share their dreams, joys, and challenges side by side. Today, Lewis and Y/n, you are taking an important step in your lives, a step that represents the promise to love and care for each other, regardless of the circumstances. The journey of love is marked by highs and lows, but it is the partnership and complicity that will help you overcome all obstacles together. Love is the force that binds your hearts, making you stronger, braver, and more willing to face any adversity. Now, I ask for everyone's attention for the vows of the newlyweds.”

Anxiety consumes me even more, but I am excited to finally be able to say the words I have been holding inside me.

I turn to Alessia, who stands behind me. She hands me the small piece of paper I entrusted to her earlier.

I try to breathe a few times before starting to pronounce the words written by me on the lined paper.

“I think it's not news to anyone here how much of a dreamer I am. Everyone who knows me has heard about my fantasies at some point.” My laughter is accompanied by that of my guests. “Many of them I judged and was aware of being impossible. After all, I know that nothing can be perfect.” I take my eyes off the paper and lock eyes with Lewis for a few seconds. “I never thought I would be so happy to be wrong.”

I try to hold back the tears as I speak, but I know my emotion is implicit and one step away from taking over me.

“You showed me that my unrealistic dreams are not only possible but even better than in my imagination. Love transcends what I thought was impossible. Your love showed me that even the bad parts are worth it if I have you by my side.” Lewis smiles in a way different from the usual, tears fill his eyes too. Which only makes me even more fulfilled. “I never imagined that I would marry that guy I met by mere chance on a night out with my friends. Not because I didn't like you right away; because I think it's clear how I was already won over by you before even knowing your name.” His laughter echoes within me. “But because I imagined that when I found the love of my life, the feeling would be different. I would be afraid, anxious, uncertain at times. After all, that's what my mind and all love stories make us believe. That it has to be complicated to be real. But that's not what happened, everything between you and me was natural, it felt right from the beginning.”

I need a few seconds to breathe, look at our guests for a brief moment, and can capture all the emotion present in the room.

How is it possible for a moment to be so magical? How could all of this result in anything other than the perfection of a life together? I thought I was sure of something until now, but this feeling shows me otherwise. There is nothing within me greater than the conviction of the right decision for the love of my life.

“I took a while to realize that this is the essence of true love. The kind that happens fluidly and unconditionally, without pressures, fears, or insecurities. In you, I found the security and comfort I didn't even know I was looking for. Now, looking back at everything we've been through, I realize that every step that brought us here was guided by destiny. Every moment we shared, every laugh, every tear, everything was part of a carefully written plot for us to find each other in this perfect fairy tale.”

“And, my love, I promise to keep cherishing this feeling that binds us. Because it was by your side that I learned that true love doesn't need to be complicated or uncertain. I thank chance, destiny, and all the forces and entities that brought us together. I am blessed for this, and there are not enough words to express my gratitude at this moment. May our love continue to grow, to blossom, and may we face every challenge together with courage and complicity. Because if I'm by your side, I know there's nothing to fear, and we'll be fine as long as we're together.”

I articulate the last sentences while looking into your eyes; they are already engraved in me even before writing them.

Lewis presses his lips together; there are a few seconds of silence before we laugh at each other. In a mix of tears and happiness.

Knowing that it's now his turn makes me more anxious than minutes ago when I started my speech.

“Oh God.” He whispers with a choked voice. “How do you expect me to say anything after that?”

“Just breathe. I'm right here.”

Our hands connect again. I tighten my grip on him, waiting for the time Lewis needs to prepare.

Eventually, Lewis brings his hand to the pocket of his pants and takes out a folded piece of paper.

I notice the tremor in his hands. But his smile remains intact.

“Y/n…” He looks at me for a few seconds before returning his gaze to the paper. “I could spend hours here telling you how certain I am that you are the love of my life. How you showed me a life that I never imagined would be mine. Or how you taught me so much that I don't know how I survived before I met you.” The hand holding the paper tightens with a certain force, but his expression, in contrast, brings me peace. “But there are not enough vows of love to tell you what I would like now, Y/n. I don't think there's a combination of words that comes close to expressing what I really want, what I feel inside me. That's why I'm not going to try, not at this moment, not in this way. I will show you, every day, what no phrase at this moment could. And that's my promise to you.”

I feel an euphoria that could be mistaken for anxiety; each word of his envelops me in a way that I even feel numb, as if floating in an almost immortal state while I listen to him. Everything within me echoes that this is the moment, the pinnacle of genuine happiness. It's the moment I intend to remember every day for the rest of my life.

Simply, the best moment of all.

I even make an effort to set aside the awareness of my emotions a little. I'm not sure what could happen if I completely surrender to what I'm feeling. It's like a nirvana, and I hope it lasts forever within me.

Lewis pauses for a few seconds before continuing.

“You are the best part of me. I am my best version when I have you by my side. And for that, I promise to cultivate each of these things that move us, promise to take care of this love and never let it go away. I promise to remember every day how lucky I am to have a wife like you, even in those moments when you drive me crazy wanting something and not being sure what, and thinking I should be a deciphering master.” Everyone laughs, tears mixed with happiness on our faces. “No. It's okay, actually your ability to confuse me is one of the things I love about you.”

“You are light. You are happiness. You are peace and a storm at the same time; you are my foundation, the love of the life of someone who never believed in fairy tales. You are my fortress, and I hope to be yours. So, I'll be here, always right here, by your side. Making sure you are always content, always supported, never alone. Never alone.” He emphasizes the last sentence. His eyes glued to mine. “I love you.”

His gaze, intense and suffocating, seems to penetrate my skin, but I maintain composure, hiding the storm unraveling within me. Any gesture from me could end up prolonging this unbearable moment, and honestly, I don't know if I could endure another hour in this room.

I resist the temptation to look away and, instead, just nod slightly. In the ensuing silence, I try to capture every detail, every line on his face, as if this were the last time I would see him. His eyes, which once shone with love, now reflect only the shadow of what we were. His Adam's apple moves, and his gaze shifts away from mine, finally releasing me from this anguish.

The fingers holding the pen are tense, white from the applied pressure. The fine tip touches the paper, leaving a trail of farewell.

A final uncertain glance.

The last second as wife and husband.

I can't believe it ended like this.

But that's how it ends. Not with a bang, but with a suffocating silence, marking the end of something we swore to be eternal. The last trace of our connection fades away, and now all that remains is the journey unfolding before me. A life now redefined by the absence of what once was us.

[…]

I enter the apartment, and exhaustion takes over my body.

It's still mid-morning, but it feels like days have passed since I woke up.

My new home is nothing like the previous one; it's a simple apartment with three bedrooms that seems to have the perfect size to avoid feeling cramped but also not so large as to leave me lonely.

The apartment of a single woman.

The walls are predominantly white, with a single exception in the living room. I painted one of the walls blue on my first day here, a choice that now seems too impulsive. I look at that wall and feel a twinge of regret, but the idea of repainting it is simply inconceivable.

I don't even like the color blue.

Suddenly, I become aware of the object I tucked into my bag days ago, and for the first time since the purchase, I feel anxious about the possibilities it holds.

I close my hand around the strap of my bag and walk to the bathroom, no hurry, but my heart beats unevenly.

I lock the door behind me, even though I'm alone, a habit I haven't lost even after leaving my parents' house.

My breath would be audible even if the house weren't in the absolute silence it finds itself in.

I do what I've done at least two hundred times in my life; there's no need to look at the instructions. At this point, it has become muscle memory. The ritual unfolds in silence, marked only by the subtle sound of paper and plastic.

With care, I return the test to its place in the small box. Hesitation hangs in the air, a prolonged pause before facing what I already know. The urgency to find out competes with the reluctance to confront. I'm not ready; I don't want to relive all of that again. The fear inside me grows to proportions I've never experienced before. If I had the slightest strength, I could have a breakdown now.

I leave the bathroom, seeking more space, trying to alleviate the suffocating sensation. The small box still in my hand.

The indicated 3 minutes have passed; the instructions say to disregard after 15 minutes. I have 12 minutes, 12 minutes to avoid the answer, 12 minutes where I still pretend not to know anything, where I can continue to delude myself for another brief interval. 12 minutes that allow me to postpone the inevitable confrontation, as if ignoring the clock could freeze the reality that may await me.

There are tears. Tears that I don't know if they're of sadness, joy, or a complex combination of both. Each drop seems to carry the weight of a journey, mourning the past loss, the uncertainty of the future, and the unexpected surprise of the possibility of a new life forming.

There's a trembling smile playing at the corners of my lips. It's a smile marked by vulnerability, fear, and resilience. The irony of discovering this right after the divorce seems to hang in the air, but there's also a flame of courage that ignites within me. A strength that arises from the need to face this chapter alone.

There is confusion. My heart feels like a maze of contradictory sensations. The duality of emotions manifests in thoughts that collide, in doubts intertwining with fearful hopes. How to balance the fragility of a new life with the pain of a previous loss? Or rather, two losses?

There is fear. It feeds on the vulnerability of being alone. The specter of the past loss still looms over me, a shadow that whispers fears. The uncertainty of what is to come.

There is happiness. Happiness that arises from the understanding that life, despite its painful twists, goes on. A new life, an opportunity to start over, even if the scenery seems daunting at first glance. It's the hope that ignites in the face of darkness.

I gather the necessary courage and hold the object firmly. I take it out of the box.

There are two lines.

[…]

Life unfolds, it happens, even though I may want to stop it at times. Choices and changes, at times, leave eternal scars. And if it hurt enough to leave a mark, it means it should always be remembered.

Before me, there is a blank canvas, a path never treaded before, where I carry my baggage and memories that I'm not sure will fade so quickly.

The pain makes room for resilience, a chance for redefinition. Life shows that the ability to move forward is the source of overcoming, even when the future is unstable and uncertain.

Even in the quietest corners of my story, there is a subtle melody that continues to play, reminding me that, despite everything, life persists, transforming into an eternal flow.

Life metamorphoses, flowing like a river that, even in the face of obstacles, finds its way, reminding me that persistence is the essence of existence.

However, this same persistence, although it is the force that makes us move forward, can also be the cause of pain, of giving up, and of exhaustion.

Learn when to say goodbye.

N/a: OMG I´M BACK!😭

I won't even justify my absence. I simply couldn't write for a long time. But I hope it was worth it. Here it is, the last chapter, finally. I hope to be able to write again and bring more stories. Thank you to everyone who followed and had patience. ❤️❤️

[cera-writes]

Hiiii~ and happy pride month!🥳

I heckin LOVE Kurt Wagner and anyone who talks about him, so naturally I've been enjoying reading your posts! I was wondering if I could ask for Kurt x trans-male Y/N headcanons? Just how easily he'd pick it up, how comforting he'd be through the transition, how he handles other people treating his SO in regards to them being trans, that kinda thing.

Thank you in advance, your work here is awesome, please keep fuelling my Nightcrawler obesession skskshsskshsk💕

A/N: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH DARLING! 💖Absolutely!! Kurt would be the ABSOLUTE best and most supportive partner <333

Kurt Wagner x Trans-Male Headcanons

Picking Up On It:

Kurt is a perceptive guy. He'll pick up on subtle shifts in your presentation or changes in how you talk about yourself. Maybe you mention a new name you're considering, or he notices you gravitating towards certain clothes. He'll likely come to you directly and ask if there's anything he can do to support you. He'd even buy you new outfits and surprise you with them as you transition.

Kurt values honesty and communication. If you're comfortable, you can have a heart-to-heart about your feelings. He'll listen intently without judgment and ask clarifying questions to fully understand.

Kurt will be your biggest cheerleader. He'll research alongside you, learning about terminology and the transition process. He'll be there for every step, big or small, celebrating victories and offering a shoulder to cry on during tough moments. He'd definitely comfort you with his tail wrapped around you protectively.

He understands that transition is a personal journey. He'll respect your pace and boundaries, using your preferred name and pronouns from the moment you ask because he is your biggest supporter.

Don't be surprised if Kurt starts subtly incorporating things that affirm your identity. Maybe he starts cooking meals you mentioned liking, or finds a cool new band you might enjoy. He wants to do everything for you because he utterly adores you.

Dealing With Others:

Kurt has zero tolerance for disrespect. If someone misgenders you or makes insensitive remarks, he'll be the first one to shut it down. He might use humor to deflect, or calmly but firmly correct them. Either way, he makes sure that you're okay first and foremost.

Kurt might take it upon himself to educate others in your circle about transgender identities. He'll explain things in a clear and non-confrontational way, helping them understand how to be supportive.

If you're facing challenges from unsupportive people, you won't have to face them alone. Kurt will stand with you, presenting a united front and advocating for you. He'll attend every pride march, hand in hand, and be your biggest ally. He's your biggest fan <3

Words of Affirmation:

Get ready for an influx of compliments! Kurt will tell you how handsome you look, how strong you are, and how proud he is of you for embracing your true self.

Maybe he comes up with a special nickname (In German) for you that reflects your newfound confidence and identity.

Don't be surprised if you find a handwritten note tucked away in your bag or left on the nightstand. Kurt might express his love and admiration for you in more traditional and romantic ways because he's a romantic at heart.

Physical Affection (After Discussing Comfort Levels):

He definitely has big spoon energy. Kurt is a natural cuddler and loves the feeling of holding you close. He'll be happy to be the big spoon, offering a sense of security and comfort. His tail would wrap around you protectively, instilling a sense of protectiveness and comfort for you.

Forehead kisses. Forehead kisses. Forehead kisses. Especially during moments of vulnerability or triumph, Kurt might express his affection through a sweet kiss on your forehead. He loves you so much!

Kurt is all about making you feel loved and secure. If physical touch isn't your primary love language, he'll find other ways to show his affection, like doing chores you dislike or running errands for you. he's there for you one hundred percent of the way.

[nightlyteaandpaper]

Please stop calling them Morally Grey, they are just dickheads

No one from the Night Court is morally grey. Their actions are horrible, the narrative justifies them.

Feyre destroys The Spring Court, leading to the destruction of the Summer Court, and the only two people who say something against this are the HLs of those courts, but even then, they don't put up much of a fight. Tarquin, after being disrespected in his home, goes to the HL's Meeting and says "Well, the Night Court were the only people who came to help," as if the High Court wasn't the reason his people were attacked. The narrative does not allow Tamlin any breathing room to make his point, right or wrong, instead, the rest of the people on page opening disregard his opinions (which is insane to me because they were his friends longer than Feyre had been alive, and they just take what Feyre says at face value.) Instead, no one speaks when Rhysand magically violates Tamlin's autonomy and shuts him up. No one spoke when Feyre and Azreal were whooping people's asses, despite the NC saying they wouldn't do it before the meeting, and the literal HL of Dawn putting wards on the room for no magic use (which, again, how were they able to use magic to attack people).

Feyre scrambled the minds and implanted thoughts in the heads of the guards in the Spring Court to destroy it and she never looked back on it for more than three seconds and went "huh, that was weird. It wasn't smart to do that because the wall is literally pressed against the Spring Court's ass..." No, everyone pats her on the back for her work. Lucien brings up briefly his discomfort being used as a pawn in Feyre's game and that she single-handedly destroyed his friendship with Tamlin, that older than Feyre had been alive, and the narrative doesn't even have her linger on that thought for more than one second. The narrative is quick to call out people who treat Feyre and the rest of the IC poorly, but never calls out them treating everyone else poorly. The narrative justifies the pimping of Feyre and her physical abuse by Rhysand (twisting her arm to make her agree to the bargain) as a necessary evil but does not extend the same grace to Tamlin, who did what he did as a necessary evil.

Trauma is understood when the person traumatized is the Night Court but never with anyone else. They constantly go back to dogpile on Tamlin, and the narrative doesn't have a single person stop and say, "Yeah, we should leave him alone." In fact, during FAS, after Rhysand tears into Tamlin, he goes back to Feyre, and she says, "You are always a bigger man" I refuse to say male. This is after Feyre writes to him and says, "Thank you for your help, I hope you find happiness too" and it is known that this man is so depressed that he is in his beast form. He does not have a kingdom anymore. Also, no one told Rhys to go to the Spring Court and harass him. One could say that the things the IC did could be from the perspective of Feyre and thus justified, but when we move to Nesta and Cassian's perspective again, nothing is challenged.

Nesta says that the only reason she hates Rhysand is because he is smug, not because of how he treats her. Nesta was threatened because she, albeit not in the kindest way, told Feyre that she was going to die in childbirth, and while Feyre said it wasn't right, there is nothing longer than a paragraph about the whole situation. It was just over as soon as it started. Nesta gets locked in the house for God knows how long (which, again, doesn't make sense because if she could get down the steps, get tired, and come back up, she should be able to make it all the way down the steps. Walking down the steps isn't what tries people out, it the coming back up because you are going against gravity) and no one thinks, "Hmm, that is exactly what Tamlin did to Feyre." They both locked someone in under the guise of protection. Cassian sees how the IC is treating Nesta, and while he tries to say something, he is always shut down.

And I will close on this. In an interview a few years ago, SJM said that Rhysand was a gift to her and that he could basically do no wrong. She also mentioned that the reason why Nesta was mad at Feyre and Rhysand was because she was jealous of their perfect life. This, my friends, is not how you write a story. This is an example of Authorial Fiat. You may say, "it's just a fantasy story" and I will say "Shut up, we know. I don't know how told tell you this, but: stories have to make sense."

[destinyc1020]

Okay!!

I'm the anon who brought up the Jake's Take interview with Z, and here are my personal thoughts. I think the reason why Z is being asked about kissing her costars is because she is dating Tom. I know fans may disagree, but I believe the public interest on them has become so much of their brand, and I can understand why solo fans of each other are frustrated because they just want to support an actor they admire without the stanwars and public obsession. Again, I don't have an issue with them sharing stories of each other, I have issues if it takes away from their work. I feel it more on Tom more so than on Z cause she is in a higher position as she's been working with great visionaries longer.

Tom for the past few yrs has become very polarising for filmbros, critics, and antis because he is dating the it girl of our generation and because his career isn't on par as his peers. The think pieces OK this blog, the hate he gets on socials whether it be that he isn't a filmbro, he doesn't denounce marvel, hes dating Z and was getting mocked due to the challengers trailer and the hate he got from TCR, the controversies he's in has to deal with R+J is partly his own contrinution because he didnt post against the hate for Fran but it's exacerbated with the fact that because he's with Z and the expectations of him is so higher than other actors. It's so much because even when he met a fan in Scotland, they weren't happy to meet him they were happy to meet Z's bf, which is disrespectful. Like that sucks because even his career is nothing outside of his relationship.

It's also hard on Z because she even admitted post NWH and Euphoria 2 how hard it was for her to even leave the house with her costars because she thought she would make their evenings worse and that is so hard to hear. She has been accommodating her life in fear of being judged by her fans who refude to evolve like her, and that's not healthy for her or her fans. These are the same fans last yr who, during Christmas on that bird app, were going viral for bringing up her ex JE and blaming Tom for visiting her on set for Euphoria as if that was the reason they aren't together like he hasn't been dating Olivia for like 3 yrs. Those are the fans she's dealing with.

That besties narrative was pushed hard in promo for Dune 1 and 2, and as many fans dislike Timothee, I have to give him credit for not being a weirdo and allowing that narrative to be pushed. Most male actors in his position would love to push a showmance for the promotion for those films and he didn't, he even mentioned Tom on both press tours because of how ppl ship, he didn't even stop fans shipping him with Taylor or any of his costars but with Z he did. He didn't have to do that, but it kinda sucks he knew he had to.

It's a lot. Like there isn't any promo for R+J and Rachel and Kit are having photoshoots and tiktoks for their Romeo and Juliet, and that's unfair because if Tom did that with Fran, locals/incels will create a narrative and its exhausting. Popularity is important for an actor, but what costs?

Those are my thoughts, and thank you for allowing me to express them Destiny💖

Thanks Anon ☺️

Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I do feel like people would be curious about Tom and Z's private lives no matter who they date, simply because they're so famous.

I'm not sure though that I feel like Z would not get those same kissing questions if she were dating another actor that is NOT Tom. I honestly feel like she would get those questions regardless.

Sadly, for most women (actresses), they usually get the brunt of the relationship type questions. 😕 It seems, that's all anyone is interested in when it comes to women.

Plus, if you're attractive, that also makes people more curious...especially if your costar is also equally attractive as well. For some reason, ppl tend to think that acting translates into real life.

Re: Tom, career, etc....

I honestly don't know why fans keep repeating this mantra about Tom's career as if he's not doing well in his career or smthg. Have Twitter folks made you all brain washed or smthg? 🥴 Serious question.

Tom's R&J play sold out in 2 HOURS. How is his career "bad"? 🥴

I'm not understanding the logic.

And btw, just because ONE fan in Scotland was just excited to meet "Zendaya's boyfriend", it doesn't mean that MOST people feel that way.

MOST fans who get to meet Tom are there to meet HIM.... Not Zendaya.

Also, I know Z is usually a homebody most of the time, but where did she say that she was afraid to go out with costars because she was worried that she would ruin their evening out? 🤔

Re: Rachel....

Okay, if they are doing photos for R&J..... so what? 🤷🏾‍♀️

There are PLENTY of R&J adaptations going on and there will be for years to come.

They must have been planning this for a while if they're announcing it so close to Tom's production. Theirs will be on Broadway though, so it's a totally different production in a totally different country. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm not even sure Tom's production even planned to do photo shoots to promote the play..... but it would be sad to think that IF they did, that some people would be so hateful about it. 😕

But I'm not going to worry about smthg that hasn't even happened yet. 👀

[fallen-gravity]

tgamm fandom stop treating Molly like an empty vessel/a stepping stone for Scratch's development and nothing else challenge

sidenote: if you tag this as a ship you're getting blocked on sight

The way some of you are talking about All in the Mind and The Ghost IS Molly McGee is making me incredibly uncomfortable. I've seen some very weird takes about how Scratch is going to "steal" Molly's body and swap with her because he misses being a human again and that the conflict of the episode is that he won't want to give it back at the end of the day. I've seen people question what Molly even has to be sad about when the episode summary literally describes both of them going through something rough. I've seen takes imply that Molly's issues and her own trauamas don't matter because Scratch is "so much worse off than her". It's incredibly rude and disrespectful to claim that because he's "had it worse" that means she has no right to feel upset and uncomfortable and trauamatized by her past. Not only is that literally a real-life claim that abusers use when talking about their victims, but it underplays Scatch's character and his development so much.

Molly is his best friend in the entire world and he would be horrified at the aspect of stealing her body and not giving it back, or claiming that her feelings are nothing compared to his own; he wants her to be happy, he wants to be a good friend, he's not gonna suddenly downspiral all the way to how he was before the series started just because he's in a human body for ten minutes. Not to mention that he's possessed humans before! He knows what it feels like to be in a human body! He's done it multiple times! The idea that just because he's starting to look more into his past means that he wants to be human again is incredibly surface level at most.

All in the Mind doesn't have as many deeply uncomfortable takes, the way that some people talk about Molly and her role in the episode is....still not great. Molly does not exist to be his therapist. She does not exist only to reunite him with Adia. She does not exist solely to fix Scratch. She's her own person with her own hopes and dreams and personality and the idea that she's only there as a temporary fix is really hurtful to see! Scratch has canonically expressed time and time again that he can't imagine his afterlife without Molly in it. He values her presence very much, and has shown time and time again that he typically values her wants over his own, because he cares about her!!! He wants her to be happy too!!!!!

They're a team!!! They're both the titular character!! You cannot seriously look me in the eyes and say that Scratch is more important or more of the main character or has more conflict than her and tell me we're watching the same show. You can't have one without the other!! That's literally the plot of the first season!!!!

Stop acting like Molly isn't a valuable character in her own show!!!!

[aydaptic]

I don’t know if you’ve ever been asked or addressed this but what attracted you to reed900 and what is it about r9 that you love and keeps you shipping it?

Short answer(s)

Fan art initially attracted me to the ship (...and then I started analyzing it in detail to find many other reasons to like it)

I love the potential of the interesting/unique conflicts between them

I keep shipping Reed900 bc it brings me happiness + there are not nearly enough in-character/canon compliant portrayals out there

Long answer(s)

As I'm sure you know, I'm a huge canon Gav fan. It made me want to create content for him, delve deeper into his character, study him, etc. Nevertheless, my true creative passion lies in romance... so naturally, I needed someone to pair him with.

I started looking at the characters in the game that I had encountered, but literally no one would be a nice/logical fit for him. I considered simply creating an OC -- Craig Adler for those familiar with my A&E story (WebComic | Written) -- and going from there. Less ppl (if any) would give a shit if I committed to that OC being Gav's main love interest, but I write for myself. Not others. So it wasn't an issue.

After my 1st exposure to the full game, I researched several endings bc the world intrigued me. That's when I came across Niner. Like all humans, I can be a bit shallow at times. I wanted the best for Gav and didn't find Niner attractive enough to be with him (sue me, lol.)

I then came across some incredible Reed900 fan art and I started to put aside my shallowness. I don't find Niner ugly -- he's average at best -- but he suffers from Baby Face Syndrome™ and it unnerved me a bit. Not only that, but I've always disliked Con... so I had to teach myself to see them as individuals. Niner isn't Con. They couldn't be more different personality-wise and the writers have confirmed this.

That said, I started seeing the immense potential for the interesting conflicts between Gav/Niner in particular and how to solve them.

Enemies to Lovers, in general, is my favorite trope

Niner is an android and Gav hates androids

Niner shares Con's face and Gav hates Con

Niner isn't a doormat and Gav likes bossing ppl around

Niner can easily take the job Gav is terrified to lose

Niner was (back then) a blank slate

At the time, I could mold Niner into whatever I wanted without worrying about disrespecting the source material/canon. I was shocked to learn that the overall way I envisioned him (not likable, not sweet, but intimidating and scary) was canon. That encouraged me to create more Reed900 content bc I felt like I 'got' these characters.

As for why I keep shipping them?

At a foundational level, it's bc Reed900 makes me happy. I love their love and adore the relationship dynamic I've envisioned for them (enemies to lovers, power couple, bickering, mutual respect, challenging each other, playfulness, not afraid to tell each other off, etc.) There are also not enough Canon Compliant fan works -- 99.99% of the Reed900/Gav/Niner content out there is concerningly OOC -- and I'm trying to remedy that the best I can. I've grown to care for Niner at this point, too.

I love the boys just as much now as I did back then, so I don't see myself stopping to create content for them at this rate.

[youremysatellite]

A Look at Ulipse AF2's Personality

by someone who has been into praf since like march 2019. which i hope makes me sound cool to newbies and makes me sound amusing to oldbies

tl;dr at bottom.

the player's first impression of ulipse is them calling the protagonist stupid idiot moron foolish. they're the first point to blatantly disrespect the player to their face.

the player's second impression of ulipse is them apologizing.

I apologize for being so rude to you earlier. You see, the only pieces I have left are my fear and rage at others. It's left me broken and misunderstood. Please don't judge me for the way I lashed out at you earlier.

they say themself that because of their pointification, the only part of their identity they really retain is their fear and rage. which obviously leads players to believe that they act the way they did in-battle towards everyone. this dialogue just feeds to an interpretation of a short-fused and furious ulipse. however, looking at their other dialogue, this isn't the case.

I must apologize for the way I acted earlier... I was so caught up in my own anger, though I'm not even sure why... Regardless of what happened, I hope we can make amends. (returning after winning)

No, I know what you mean. I had a similar feeling back when I was fighting against the Star Savior. I just lashed out, and for no particular reason at all. It’s almost as if I knew there was something suspicious about the way Cyalm was trying to get the Star Savior to go around collecting Stars and Symbols. (in shattered shardscape)

ulipse reveals in these that lashing out at people is unusual for them. the way they talk, they were confused at their own rage. they only really fought you because their lingering suspicion of cyalm made them jump to conclusions.

and yes, throughout the game, half of their dialogue is suspicious and fearful. but that's because half of their dialogue is found in world 10, when they are coming face-to-face with the truth about the most important event of their life, which made them who they are fundamentally, and is also bringing a backstab 300 years in the making to light. under any other circumstances, any other conflict, they aren't like this.

despite this fear, in all of the finale, you can tell they're angry... but they're level-headed and firm, even being as suspicious as they are. they do yell, but a lot less than you'd expect, and cmon even the sweet and friendly shallare was yelling. the rest of ulipse's dialogue shows their emotion, but a lot of it takes on a level and analytical tone.

after beating celesteal, ulipse is doing so, so much better.

That's fine, I guess… Bye... (returning after winning, rejecting challenge course offer)

That's fine. See you around. (returning after defeating celesteal, rejecting challenge course offer)

the comparison of their lonely disappointed goodbye to their chill seeya goes to show how much the savior has done for them. now that they understand the feelings they've held for 300 years, and now that cyalm no longer poses a threat, they're so much happier.

Sorry for the mess... I couldn't get around to dusting off everything. Can I do anything for you? Perhaps you want to try my challenge level again?

show up to sandbrick sandbox again! they'll be happy to see you, they'll act friendly and a bit playful. this is a sharp contrast from the aggression they showed when they first met the player. they're finally moving forward.

Celesteal has lost their clutch on reality... Now it's up to us to turn it into the kind of world we want to see. (sky emporium, celesteal defeated)

tl;dr, ulipse is not an angry person. they are cool and level-headed throughout the game, and post-game they are much happier.