#being goofy with your loved ones is what it’s all about!

[justanothermemestrider]

40k Nsfw Alphabet - Ferrus Manus x F! Reader

Aaaaaand now, a return to regular programming.

I'm kicking off with a request I've gotten from a few people: the big metal caveman himself Ferrus Manus.

Apologies for spelling and grammar errors, as well as lore inaccuracies. Also I'm taking requests rn, so please let me know in the comments, reblogs, my dms or my asks.

Hope you guys enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

In my opinion, Ferrus Manus is damned good at aftercare. He's not a master by any means (he's no Vulkan or Sangy lol), but he's got the competency and he's got the desire to make you feel comforted and cared for. That being said, he's still going to go about it like an Iron Hand: mechanically and efficiently.

When the act is complete and you two are lying in bed after, be prepared to be bombarded with questions: how are you feeling? Are you comfortable? Do you need a glass of water? Do you want him to hold you? If the answer to the latter is yes, how do you want to be held? Big spoon? Little spoon? Traditional embrace?

All of these things, Ferrus asks and executes for you with an earnest, almost grim seriousness that you find deeply amusing.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hands because they are everything his are not: soft, gentle, warm and tender. He loves it when you cradle his cheeks, claw into his chest when you're riding him and cling to his back when he's on top.

Favourite parts of his body are probably his shoulders and chest for the reasons mentioned up above.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Ferrus doesn't like making a mess, and his favourite place to finish is deep inside you. But, if you were to ask him to finish somewhere else for your own pleasure or enjoyment, he'd happily oblige.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This man is a bottom. A massive, submissive bottom. On similar vibes to Guilliman and Dorn, Ferrus finds being a strong, immovable rock of a Primarch very exhausting. So, behind closed doors, with the women who loves him most, he likes being able to let that persona go.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Ferrus has no first hand experience, but after getting together with you, he made it his mission to get educated. He didn't want to disappoint you, and he was also (internally) anxious about making a fool of himself.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position where you're on top. As mentioned earlier, this man is a bottom. He was you taking the lead.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Deadly serious. All the time. Every time. The seriousness is cranked up to 120%

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Ferrus is the 2nd hairest Primarch after Leman Russ. Not just downstairs, but his chest, back and everywhere else (except his arms, obviously). Unlike Russ, though, Ferrus keeps his hair very well groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It will take a bit of time, but eventually I see Ferrus becoming one of the more emotionally intimate primarchs. In the HH books, his entire arc is his relearning the importance of emotionality, the "strength to be gentle" so to speak. Being in a relationship with you would accelerate that arc, leading to him becoming a surprisingly romantic man. He's still stoic and stern, of course, that's his personality after all. But underneath that is an inherently compassionate heart that, eventually, becomes capable of great and deep love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

The necrodermis covering his hands and arms makes masterbating super uncomfortable for poor Ferrus. If he's got urges, he needs either a toy or you in order to satiate them.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

The aforementioned submissiveness includes a little bit of bondage if Ferrus is feeling particularly stressed out or worn down.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your shared bedroom- it's a matter of efficiency and effectiveness. The bed is the most comfortable for you, everything you both need to pleasure each other is all there, and there's absolutely no chance of you being interrupted or walked in on.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Any physical advances or teases on your part has Ferrus feeling hopelessly aroused. An embrace from behind, a hand on his knee that slowly traces up to his inner thigh. Anything like that gets this man flustered and hard almost instantly.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that involves hurting (pretending or otherwise), degrading or overpowering you. Blood, violence and brutality are part of his job, he doesn't want to bring any of that into the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He far prefers to give and he's HELLA good at it. He's basically perfected the technique. The reason for this is because he knows he can't use his hands (or at least, he doesn't feel comfortable using them), because the risk of hurting you is way to high.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual. Ferrus doesn't want to hurt you, doesn't want to risk being rough lest he grip you too hard with his metal hands or hurt you with his enormous size and weight. He prefers it when you set the pace; he will only go as fast or as rough as you are.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

While Ferrus prefers taking his time with you, he's not against quickies. And he's damned good at them, too. He is efficient, after all. Efficient and effective. Whether you've got two minutes with him or two hours, Ferrus is making you finish.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Ferrus isn't much of a risk taker. He knows what works for him and what works for you and he doesn't really see the point is changing that. Very much a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kinda mindset.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Typical Primarch stamina. All night, all day, as many rounds as you can physically endure.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Ferrus is 100% into the idea of toys, both your use of them and his own. If you ask him, he'll even forge some for you ;)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ferrus isn't a tease at all. If he wants you, he's gonna tell you explicitly, in the most direct, clunky and verbose way possible.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The first few times you sleep together, Ferrus is pretty modest with his noises; panting and grunting, primarily. But, as he grows more comfortable, he'll get loud. Quite loud.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Part of the reason why, before the Istvaan 3, Ferrus had resolved to find a way to remove the necrodermis from his hands, is because he wants to be able to touch you properly. With his own skin, not alien metal. Good thing he made it back from Istvaan safe and sound and with his head intact, right?

Right?

Guys?

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

E N O R M O U S. Only Primarch whose bigger is Vulkan. Nothing more, your honour.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not that high. His own desire, Ferrus keeps on a fairly short leash. Both because of his personality, but also so he can focus entirely on his missions. However, if you need to be satisfied, he'll drop everything to give you what you need.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ferrus is never asleep before you. Ever. Not until he's absolutely certain you are comfortable, safe and have had all your needs tended to.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Taglist: @solspina @beckyninja @egrets-not-regrets @wolf-feathers12 @jaghatai-khock @lemon-russ @moodymisty @hatsubara-8chan @nereidof40k @yanagikou @fyxestroll @yurihasurunbara @justfreakynothingelse @mooniequeen

[musingsofmajesty]

𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐨𝐥. 𝐈𝐈

summary now that you’ve kissed, the two of you can’t help but wonder what it means moving forward. Luckily, it’s so easy being with each other that taking it day by day doesn’t seem half bad | wc 1.1k

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[best enjoyed in order, but not required! ♡]

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・．

If it’s one thing shy!eddie knows well, it’s labels. They’ve been forced on him all his life. But this—whatever has blossomed between the two of you—he can’t quite pin down. And the universe sure as hell isn’t gonna step in and do it for him. For once, the cards are in his hands, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. 

Later that night, he walks you out to your car, and it’s one of the hardest things he’s ever done. The feeling of your lips still lingers on his. He’s never wanted anyone to stay as badly as right now.

Nevertheless, you hug him one last time, and he gets the door for you without second thought because he’s always done so. Even before you made butterflies a permanent fixture in his stomach. 

“Thanks, Teddy,” you lilt as you settle behind the wheel. “Can I call you that?” You’re teasing, but only partly.  His blush is evident in the glow of the streetlamps that illuminate Forest Hills against the night. 

He hasn’t heard that nickname since it came past his mother’s lips when he was a boy. He smiles a little, lifts a shoulder as if he’s more indifferent than he is. “If you want," he says. 

You’re quiet for a beat, then cutely scrunch your nose up at him. “But what do you want?”  Eddie blinks like he hasn’t heard the likes of this question in a long while. 

“You can call me Teddy,” he decides. You could call him Edward for all he cared. Whatever you wanted, really. That’s when he realizes he’s in trouble. The best kind. 

Shy!Eddie who can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happens, but realizes he’s begun to pay more mind to the way he looks—undoubtedly because of you. One morning at 7 AM, his Uncle Wayne knocks on the bathroom door. Inside, he hears the startled sound of a tub of hair gel tumbling into the sink. “Shit—I’ll be out in a second!” 

An affectionate smirk pulls at Wayne's lips. “Guess I'll use it outside like a dog,” he jokes.  

Later that day, as Mrs. O’Donnell lectures the class, Eddie feels you poke the end of your pencil into the side of his ribcage from where you sit behind him. The way he straightens makes you smile, and he shoots a discreet glance over his shoulder to see what you want. Except your gaze is cast out the window in feigned innocence. 

Three minutes later, he curls in on himself as the ticklish pokes start up again. This time, you pass him a ripped piece of notebook paper that features your neat, bubbly handwriting: hi, handsome ;) 

All Eddie can do is helplessly flush with warmth. 

A couple weeks later, as you’re painting your nails on your best friend’s bedroom floor, you think aloud, “Me and Eddie.” Robin peers down at you from her bed, where she absentmindedly braids a strand of her hair. “I think we’re a sure thing.” 

Her brows lift in surprise. “So you’re official?” 

You purse your lips in consideration. “No, we’re just…us.” 

Robin frowns at first, but eventually nods because, maybe, that’s all love was ever meant to be. Unadulterated in the sense that it could never be bogged down to titles and definitions. 

“Sweet,”  she finally says. 

You nod and begin to smile at the thought of him. The way he gives you his full attention whether you’re talking about life at large or your day. The way he bites back his own goofy smile whenever he unintentionally makes you laugh—which happens all the time. The way he’s welcomed you into his little world.

You’re remiss that you weren’t braver sooner. 

“Yeah,” you agree in a wistful exhale. It is pretty sweet. You raise your hand to gently blow over the sheer pink polish coated on your fingertips. 

Like clockwork, the dismissal bell sounds to denote the end of yet another school day. A few more months, and you'll be kissing these stuffy, bustling halls goodbye.

Eddie catches up with you at your locker and asks if you’d like to go hang out with him in the woods behind the school. It’s nice out today. 

You narrow your eyes as you shut the metal door. “So was this your plan all along? Get my guard down so you can lure me into the woods and go in for the kill?” 

He knows you’re joking, but his answer is sincere anyway. His big bambi eyes dark and gooey as he says, “Never. No way.”

There’s a picnic table nestled amidst the tall trees, as it turns out. A calming breeze glides through the branches and rustles their leaves. Eddie sits first and expects you to choose the bench across from him, but you sit on the same side. You want to be near him. He can’t complain.

A comfortable silence settles between you that he eventually breaks. “Used to come out here a whole lot," he says. “I’d write songs or sit and listen to music," he lists. "Enjoy the scenery…” his words fade as his eyes settle back on you. There’s a tender depth to your gaze. 

He smiles a bit self-consciously, but he's not exactly embarrassed. More so hyperaware because you always make him feel so seen. “What?” he murmurs. 

Without a single word, you scoot closer to press your lips to his. One of his hands rise to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across your skin. This kiss is different. Deeper. Unlike your usual affectionate pecks in every way. 

Warmth kindles in your stomach when his initial hesitancy dissipates. As he finds his way, his lips move sure and easy against your own. Plush and warm. You can feel his gentle exhales puff from his nose, and against your own desire, you slowly begin to pull away to ensure all this is alright.  

But Eddie’s okay. He’s more than okay. For the first time since he’s known you, he feels the soft tug of frustration in his chest. Except it’s not rooted in irritation. It’s rooted in want. 

When he leans back in, cheeks flushed and dark eyes hopeful, you let his lips just barely graze yours before you pull away. He tries again, and you lean back once more, flustered and excited by his newfound boldness. 

You place a gentle hand on his chest and chuckle despite yourself. “Easy, Teddy,” it’s a honeyed warning that carries no bite. 

“C’mere,” he insists, a pout on his face even though it's threatened by a smile. "Wanna kiss you." His voice drops low and shy, like it's a secret.

When you giggle, butterflies aflutter in your stomach, he takes it upon himself to hold you steady and kiss the sweet sound from your lips. 

The two of you are a sure thing, indeed.

Thanks for reading! All likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated ♡

a/n making this a series because I can't get enough of these two. Stay tuned for the formal announcement!

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[waterdeepwife]

Hey! I love your writing!!!!! Could I request Gale getting fantasy equivalent of anesthesia and when Tav (his wife) tries to get him home/flirt with him he's like 'not interested I have a wife!!'. And idk just fluff and him being amazed that his partner is so hot lol.

My Wife?

Pairing: Gale x Fem! Reader

Warnings: kinda NSFW? drunk! Gale, Gale gets a turned on but no sex, takes place after events of the game, Reader/Tav is married to Gale, light hearted silliness in Waterdeep, typos, I think that’s it?

Summary: Gale had too much to drink and getting him back to the tower is proving a challenge.

A/n: I couldn’t think of the anesthesia equivalent, so I just made Gale drunk.

It had been a fun night at the Yawning Portal. Gale’s friends adored you and you all swapped stories of your adventures, you even heard some gossip about some of the students at Blackstaff. Unfortunately your husband had one too many glasses of wine, resulting in him becoming VERY drunk. You never seen like this before, normally the mage could handle his liquor fine. Now he slouched overall the bar, face red as he mumbled protested as his friends helped him to his feet.

You giggled and approached him, taking in his drunken state. Once you were close enough, you cupped his cheek to feel just how warm his face was. Gale’s eyes widen as you touched him, he flinched away putting up a dramatic hand in the air. Trying to stop you from touching him, then he wagged a finger at you, which made you and his friends laugh loudly.

“Nu-uh, I AM a married man! My wife… She will get upset if she sees you touching me like that...”

One of his coworkers wrapped an arm around Gale’s back to support him, but the wizard tried to wiggle away. Holding up his left hand and pointed to the golden band around his ring finger, a proud smile on his lips.

“See this? Taken! Sorry ladies AND GENTLEMEN!!”

The wizard yelled a little too loudly, causing other patrons to turn their attention to your small group. You couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at the sudden attention on you. Your cheeks flush a bit as you quickly covered your husband’s mouth, to which he then tried to scream. The wizard’s friends continued to hold him up as they laughed, they couldn’t wait to make fun of him when he was sober.

“Gale! I am your wife!”

You whisper shouted as the wizard turned his attention to you, his brown eyes looked to the golden ring on your left hand, then began raking down your body. Admiring what he saw standing before he looked back into your eyes. You could have swore you saw him go even redder, a soft moan escaped his lips but was muffled by your hand.

You recognized the look in Gale’s eyes, and immediately glanced down noticing the obvious tent in his pants. Your eyes met again, your cheeks burning with blush as your husband gazed at you with a lovesick, yet lustful expression. You slowly removed your hand from his mouth, revealing a goofy smile. Gale wiggled free from his friends and threw his arms around you. He hugged you tight as he drunkly purred out;

“My wifeeee…”

You could only sigh and shake your head fondly, slowly guiding Gale out of the Yawning Portal as he mumbled incoherent declarations of love and desire. During the walk his hand trying to wander down to grab your ass a few times, whispering about you pretty you are. Which you would smack his hand away and cause the wizard to gasp and pout, until you got home.

Once inside you guided him to the couch in the sitting room, knowing you wouldn’t be able to get him up the stairs. Once he was lying down and covered with a blanket, Gale instantly rolled onto his belly and fell asleep. You laughed and crawled on top of him, snuggling into his back as you slowly began to drift asleep as well.

[777bae]

YOURS TO HOLD WILLIAM EKLUND

Summary :: William Eklund doesn’t get jealous—not until he decides it’s necessary. One conversation, one too many laughs, and suddenly, he’s all possessive touches and dark looks. You should tease him, but maybe you like it too much. (REQUESTED)

Warnings :: small amount of jealousy (& possessiveness)

Word count :: 1.8k

William Eklund is, by all definitions, a golden retriever boyfriend—the kind of guy who radiates warmth the second he steps into a room. He’s sunshine personified, with an easy, boyish grin that never seems to fade and eyes that light up like he’s genuinely thrilled just to see you. There’s an effortless charm about him, something so naturally magnetic that it draws people in, but the way he looks at you? That’s something else entirely. It’s different. It’s devoted.

He’s always finding a way to make you laugh, whether it’s cracking a joke at his own expense, sending you goofy selfies from the locker room, or pulling you into his chest and murmuring something ridiculous just to hear you giggle against his hoodie. He thrives on your happiness, basking in it like it’s the most important thing in the world. No matter how long the day has been, no matter how exhausted he is after practice or a brutal road trip, he never hesitates to wrap you in his arms the second he sees you. And when he hugs you, it’s not just a fleeting embrace—it’s the kind where he holds you close, burying his face into your neck, letting out a deep breath like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded.

After a win, it’s even more intense. The second the final buzzer sounds, before the adrenaline even has a chance to fade, he’s already searching for you in the crowd. His hair sticks to his forehead, damp with sweat, his cheeks are flushed from the effort, but none of it matters. The moment his skates hit the ice after the handshake line, he’s making a beeline for you, shoving his helmet halfway off as he grins like a little kid. His excitement is infectious—he’s breathless, exhilarated, but all he cares about is getting to you.

And when he does? He doesn’t hesitate. He pulls you in, strong arms winding around your waist as he crashes his lips against yours, completely unbothered by the cameras, the crowd, or the teasing chirps from his teammates. The only thing that exists in that moment is you. You can feel his smile against your lips, feel the way his fingers tighten just slightly like he never wants to let go. When he finally pulls back, forehead resting against yours, there’s a look in his eyes—pure love, pure adoration—like you’re the best win of all.

He’s not the jealous type. Or, at least, not usually.

William Eklund is easygoing, warm, the kind of guy who trusts you implicitly. He’s never been one to get possessive, never the boyfriend to hover or make a scene. He knows where you stand, knows that you’re his, and that’s always been enough.

But every now and then, something flickers behind those warm blue eyes. Something a little darker, a little more primal. A reminder that while he’s all golden retriever grins and easy affection, there’s a part of him that isn’t so laid-back when it comes to you.

Tonight is one of those nights.

The event is buzzing with energy, post-game adrenaline still lingering in the air as players and their significant others mix with fans, sponsors, and team staff. It’s nothing out of the ordinary—just another night of polite small talk and congratulations. You find yourself in conversation with one of the team’s new PR guys, discussing something lighthearted, your laughter slipping into the noise of the party without a second thought.

The guy’s charming, sure. Confident. But you’re just being friendly, the way you always are. What you don’t realize is that across the room, William is watching. And he doesn’t like what he sees.

His jaw tightens. His normally relaxed posture stiffens, his grip on the sweating beer bottle in his hand growing so tight that his knuckles turn white. He’s trying to be rational. He knows you love him. He knows you wouldn’t entertain anyone else. But watching another guy lean in—just a little too close, just close enough that William’s mind starts spinning—makes his patience run razor-thin.

Then you laugh.

It’s nothing more than a casual, friendly sound, but it sets something off in him. Because that’s his laugh to pull from you. His closeness to have. His spot at your side.

And then the guy leans in just a slight bit more, probably just to hear you over the music, but it doesn’t matter. Because William sees red.

Before you even register his presence, he’s there. An arm slides around your waist in one swift, decisive motion, pulling you back against a solid chest—warm and steady, yet unmistakably tense. The sudden presence sends a jolt through you, but the familiar scent of clean cologne and the faintest trace of hockey gear immediately tells you exactly who it is.

“Hey, babe,” William murmurs, his voice low, smooth, but tinged with something unmistakable—something territorial.

Your breath catches as you blink up at him, caught off guard by both his sudden arrival and the possessive energy radiating off of him in waves. His blue eyes, usually so full of light and mischief, are darker now, locked onto the PR guy with quiet intensity.

“Hey, William,” you say softly, tilting your head as you search his expression.

His grip on your waist tightens just a fraction, a silent warning as he finally turns his attention to the guy in front of you. His expression is calm—too calm—but there’s an unmistakable tension in the way his jaw is set, in the way his fingers flex slightly against your side.

“And you are?” William asks, his voice smooth and polite, but carrying just enough of an edge to make it clear he’s not in the mood for pleasantries.

The PR guy, still oblivious to the shift in energy, introduces himself with a casual ease, but William barely acknowledges it. He doesn’t shake his hand, doesn’t offer his usual friendly grin. Instead, he moves with deliberate slowness, dipping his head and pressing a lingering kiss to your temple, his lips warm against your skin. He stays there just a second longer than necessary, long enough to make a point, long enough to let the other guy see.

You almost laugh. William Eklund. Jealous.

It’s ridiculous, really—this is the same guy who once tripped over his own skates mid-drill because he was too busy winking at you from across the rink. The same guy who always insists on carrying you on his back when you’re tired, who buys you stuffed animals from airport gift shops just because they remind him of you. The guy who gets chirped endlessly by his teammates for being so whipped. And yet here he is, standing tall, broad, and possessive, making it very clear that you’re off-limits.

The PR guy finally starts to catch on, his posture shifting slightly, eyes darting between you and William. He clears his throat, an awkward chuckle slipping out. “Well, I should probably—”

“Yeah, you should,” William cuts in smoothly, his voice lighter now but carrying an unmistakable finality. His golden retriever energy is nowhere to be found, replaced by something sharper, something almost wolfish. He doesn’t bother softening the words. He doesn’t need to. The message is clear.

The guy mutters a quick goodbye and excuses himself, disappearing into the crowd. As soon as he’s gone, you turn in William’s arms, crossing your arms over your chest as you peer up at him, your expression caught somewhere between amused and exasperated.

“Seriously?”

William doesn’t even try to hide it. He doesn’t stammer or deflect. Instead, he looks down at you, eyes warm but smug, his grip on your waist still firm, still possessive.

“What?” His lips twitch like he’s holding back a smirk, like he knows exactly what he just did and isn’t remotely sorry for it.

“You’re jealous.”

The words slip out easily, laced with amusement as you stare up at him, waiting for his reaction.

William scoffs, rolling his eyes, but the soft pink creeping up his neck betrays him. It’s barely noticeable in the dim lighting, but you know him too well—you see the way he shifts slightly, the way his fingers twitch like he’s debating whether to defend himself or just own up to it.

“I’m not jealous,” he insists, voice light, but you can tell he’s lying.

You tilt your head, giving him a knowing look. “William.”

He exhales, dragging a hand through his hair in a mix of frustration and reluctant confession. “Okay,” he mutters, dropping the act, his voice quieter now. “Maybe a little.”

His blue eyes flicker down to your lips, then back up, holding your gaze with an intensity that sends warmth curling in your stomach. His grip on your waist tightens just slightly, like he’s making sure you’re still right there, still his.

“Can you blame me?” His voice is lower now, rougher around the edges. “Some guy’s getting all close to you, making you laugh like that…” He trails off, shaking his head, jaw tightening again for a brief second before he forces himself to relax. “I don’t like it.”

You bite your lip, trying—really trying—not to smile, but the way he’s looking at you makes it impossible to hide.

“You know I’m yours, right?” you murmur, your fingers grazing over the collar of his shirt, lightly tracing the fabric before sliding up to rest against the back of his neck.

His gaze softens at your words, but the possessiveness doesn’t fade. If anything, it settles into something deeper, something almost reverent.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, forehead dropping to rest against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “But I still don’t like it.”

A quiet laugh escapes you, and you shift on your toes, tilting your chin up just enough to press a soft, lingering kiss to his jawline. You feel the way his muscles tense for a second, the way his breath hitches slightly before it evens out again.

“Well,” you hum, barely above a whisper, “if it makes you feel better…” You pause, letting your lips graze his skin before pulling back just enough to meet his eyes again. “I like it when you get a little jealous.”

A deep, rumbling chuckle escapes him, low in his chest, and just like that, your golden retriever boyfriend is back—his lips quirking into a smirk, his arms tightening around you like he has no plans of letting go anytime soon.

“Oh yeah?” His voice is teasing now, playful, but there’s still a hint of something darker lingering beneath it.

You nod, grinning. “Yeah.”

His hands slide lower, his touch firm but slow, deliberate. He leans in, so close that his lips just barely brush against yours, teasing, waiting.

“Then maybe I should remind you who you belong to,” he murmurs, voice just above a whisper, sending a shiver down your spine.

And just like that, the rest of the room fades away.

[shaunamilfman]

Shauna Shipman NSFW Alphabet

pairing: Shauna Shipman x f!r note: minors dni

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

your ass isn’t going anywhere. she’s picked the position she wants to lie in, and you will be there until she decides you're done. she can be very sweet and caring, but she’s not great at the emotional part of it (anything to do with actually communicating her feelings), so she just grabs on for a while and hopes it suffices. holds you tight, runs her fingers through your hair, traces shapes on your back, the works. won’t talk unless pressed most of the time.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

her thighs. she used to resent how toned they were from all of those years she was forced to play soccer–just another thing she could grumble about underneath her breath when she was mad at Jackie–but she’s grown to love them. loves the way she can use them to wrap around your hips and keep you where she wants you, whether that’s in bed or just cuddling; it doesn’t matter. Shauna also loves the way your head looks between her thighs and the way they squeeze around you.

She likes your hands, always has. Shuana enjoys how capable they are. likes to watch the way your fingers wrap around handles or tap absently against things when you’re bored. of course, she likes them the most between her legs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

she loves when you’re messy, especially when you’re covered in her. sometimes she grabs a fistful of your hair just so she can better rub herself over your face. she’s not even trying to get herself off. you’re just too clean. shauna loves when you pop your head up after eating her out just so she can smear herself all over your face better. dragging her thumb along your lips so all you can do is taste her. she likes to make you sit there, just dripping with her as she recovers. she worked hard to get you so messy. she’s going to enjoy it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don’t think Shauna Shipman is familiar with the concept of shame when it comes to things that get her off unless it involves Jackie. 

she has far too many thoughts about threesomes and refuses to acknowledge any of them. thinking about them means considering the implications of what having the two of you mouthing at her skin is, and Shauna Shipman is not about to do that.

if there was anything other than that, it would just be so ridiculously violent that she knew she couldn’t actually do it without serious injury, but she usually just finds a way to modify it before she springs it on you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

slept with Jeff so she’s not completely inexperienced, but it’s not like she knows much about women. she’s very well versed in getting herself off and figures it can’t be all that different. pretends to know a lot more than she does and would not react well if you mentioned that fact.

knows what she wants and gets it. she texts you for a hookup, and you say you’re busy? shauna shipman has sent three attachments. all of which are enticing enough to get you into the car. it’s overkill, truly. one would’ve been enough, but she’s thorough.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Shauna likes to ride. your face, your fingers. it doesn’t matter. Shauna wants to be on top.

she loves to sit on your face. there’s just something about being able to look down at your face buried between her thighs as she fucks your face that gets her going like nothing else, especially with how prone and vulnerable you look beneath her. you can’t pin her hips down as easily as you can when she’s on her back, and she enjoys knowing she’s the only one that gets to decide when you get air.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

shauna’s not that goofy in general, but especially during sex. sometimes you may catch a smile or two and an occasional laugh during slow, early morning sex, but that’s few and far between. she has a goal in mind, and any laughter makes her feel like you’re not taking her seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

shaves her legs fairly often just to keep Jackie off her back. everywhere else just gets shaved when she remembers to. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

romance doesn’t always have as much of a place in sex for Shauna as other emotions do (jealousy, anger, possession). it’s not to say that she’s not romantic in the moment. in fact, it’s some of the only times she properly communicates, babbling confessions about anything and everything in the bluntest way possible as her nails scratch down your skin.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

constantly. all the time. shauna’s cunt hates to see her hand coming. doesn’t like to take her time like she might’ve if you were the one stimulating her. masturbating is only ever to soothe an itch for Shauna, quick and dirty until her thighs clamp around her hand and she can go back to her business. washes off and goes back to whatever she was doing like nothing happened.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

so possessive. she won’t admit it, but as angry and jealous as she gets when she sees someone come up to you, she also gets turned on. she already knows how the night’s going to end, your head between her thighs in the cramped quarters of her back seat as you struggle to get a hand between her legs to get your fingers inside.

wants to bring a knife into it. she thinks a lot about holding a knife to your throat as she makes you do whatever she wants. has a recurring fantasy of making you back up into the wall and plead with her not to kill you. it always ends with her pressing it against the delicate skin of your neck and slowly making you slide down to your knees.

likes to bite, which is obvious. if she’s close enough to sink her teeth in, she will. bites you hard enough that you bleed a few times, and though it was honestly an accident, she can’t deny how much it turned her on to watch.

it goes without saying, but she wants to chase you down and catch you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

any place but a bed, for the novelty but also for the risk. fantasizes about someone walking in on the two of you and seeing that you're hers. those fantasies always involve you on your knees, her thighs pressed so tightly to your ears that you don’t even notice anyone else coming into the room because you’re so focused on getting her off. she doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that it’s usually Jackie who walks in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

jealousy, anger, obsession (either way), and attention. she thrives on intensity, on knowing you want her just as much as she wants you. needs you to match her freak. fighting is nothing but foreplay, angry words spit in your direction that she wants you to take out on her.

the better question is what doesn’t get her going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

as much as she somewhat enjoys her jealousy, you can’t ever bring up someone else while you’re hooking up. she does, often referencing whatever girl stood too close to you and pissed her off, but you can’t ever or she’s done. she also doesn’t like to be made to feel lesser than you for any reason.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

shauna definitely has a preference to receive rather than give when it comes to oral. she likes to watch you between her thighs, brushing your hair out of the way so she can really see your mouth work. there’s something about the way you’re entirely focused on her when you’re going down on her that nothing else can match. the way you can’t really look at her, can’t talk to her, can’t do anything but make her come.

she can give. she’s good at it even. shauna would prefer to use her fingers, just because of how much she likes to watch. she needs to be able to use her mouth to leave little marks everywhere to stake her claim. what she doesn’t want is to see you try to cover them up the next day. that’s just not allowed.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough 90% of the time. she’s always got something to prove (mostly to herself). she’s got you on your knees in the backseat of her car before you’ve even realized that she wasn’t taking you home first.

she indulges in slow, loving sex when the mood strikes her, but that’s nothing she would really enjoy all the time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

shauna shipman invented quickies. wants you anywhere and everywhere she can have you. she gets turned on at the drop of a hat and isn’t shy about telling you about it. 

she does enjoy getting to take her time with you, though. likes to grind against your thigh and enjoy your wandering hands as you make out until she’s so worked up she’s desperate for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

goes without saying. half of the time she barely thinks things through before she’s going for them. that’s just who she is, and she’s not planning on changing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

doesn’t last long. she’s so easy. she can go forever and ever, though. loves to be overstimulated. she’ll have tears running down her face and still want more.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

shauna shipman’s vibrator is her best friend. they know each other intimately. when it finally dies on her and she has to buy a new one, she briefly considers holding it a funeral before deciding that would be dumb as shit. threatens to replace you with the vibrator whenever you’re teasing her.

she doesn’t have all that much experience with other toys, but she’s definitely not averse to using them. likely to bring up the idea first if she thinks you’ll be at all amenable.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

shauna’s not that big into teasing just because she’s too impatient to really commit to it. she’s only teasing herself when she’s teasing you. does enjoy watching you squirm a little, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she’s not that loud. more of a gasps and sighs kind of girl, but has been known to get loud if the vibes are right. if you turn her down for sex for reasons she doesn’t consider “valid” (busy or engaging in a hobby), trust that she’ll be shouting her pleasure from the rooftops when she stalks off into the room to grab her trust vibrator.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

secret love for sleep morning sex, but she’ll never ever admit it. she’ll roll her eyes and groan, but it doesn't stop her from murmuring your name in breathy little sighs as she lazily rolls her hips up.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

boxers wearer shauna shipman my beloved. buys bras and underwear almost solely based on practicality and what’s comfortable but has a few racier things shoved in the bottom of her drawer to bring out to manipulate you into forgiving her crimes. someone’s got to remind you why you put up with so much shit.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

ridiculously high. if she’s not doing it, she’s probably thinking about it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if anything, Shauna feels more energized after sex, but if you keep her in bed long enough, she’ll grumble her way to sleep. she really enjoys feeling you pressed up against her afterward, even if the two of you are so hot that your combined body heat just makes her sweatier.

[dumbgoondog]

Kenjaku NSFW Alphabet

MDNI +18 NSFW

I ain’t satisfied to much with this might revisit, but I got a general idea started.

Cw/Tw - SA allegations, manipulation, CNC, unhealthy, and gore? Brain shit.

(A)ftercare - He’s on it fr fr. Washing you, had a drink ready, cuddles, praise, kisses. He is a lover, and a good one at that.

(B)ody Part - your neck. It’s so very complex, he likes marking it, choking you too. There’s so much trust to let someone touch your neck and he loves that.

(C)um - Say it with me! Breeder! Breeding! B-R-E-E-D! Inside! As deep as he can! Or as deep in him as you can! He gave birth. Probably has in the past given birth and gotten people pregnant too. The death paintings as well. Let’s be real.

(D)irty Secret - finger his brain or just touch it in general. It’s sensitive so be gentle but god he loves it! It’s a cursed object so don’t worry about breaking it easy, if you’re to rough it can hurt tho.

(E)xperience - A lot. Multiple centuries worth. He’s not a whore per se, but sex certainly is a tool for survival.

(F)avorite Position - both standing, from behind, arch your back so he can hold your throat and kiss you.

(G)oofy - not really… sadly. He can be goofy tho and make you roll your eyes in amusement because he might get distracted and start yappin with his dick in you.

(H)air - he’s got that trimmed and washed. Well groomed. Smells great!

(I)ntimacy - he’s so intimate, no matter how hard he’s fucking your brains out. He’s here to worship your body like it’s the answer to all of his problems.

(J)ack off - Not really. Unless it’s to tease. Again, it’s more a tool to him.

(K)ink - science kink. We all saw the nurse fit. He loves exploring your body like it’s the first human body he’s ever seen, and finding all the unique things about it. Finding your limits, what feels best, what is a turn on, all of it. Improper use of jujustu too.

(L)ocation - he has to favorite location, he do like it in public tho. Risky is delicious, he likes the fun of it!

(M)otivation - Not specifically a turn on, but he loves your passions and when you’re really into something! He’s super supportive about it too.

(N)o - you cannot fuck his brain or use a strap on it. The mouth is too small, and it’ll hurt to slide between the halves like that.

(O)ral - he loves receiving oral. As much as he sticks that damn tongue out, he wants to talk to you while you suck him off more.

(P)ace - he’s rough. He can be fast or slow, but he’s rough and cruel. He teases HARD. He wants you begging and to break yo brain.

(Q)uicky - he’s up for a quicky but prefers to take his time and enjoy things. He’s a journey man, not a results man.

(R)isk - he LOVES trying new things, he loves learning that people have a kink for and why, where it came from. Trauma based or developed from something? Was it hereditary? He’s tried a lot and is up for a lot.

(S)tamina - yes. God he has a lot. He stops when you’re done. You’ve not found him to ever tap out first.

(T)oys - He honestly prefers using toys on you than using himself! He loves it, watching your reactions touching, controlling the toy and the pace, he loves it.

(U)nfair - He’s a massive tease, being coy and making you ask for everything. He loves barely touching or using things against you. He loves denying you from cumming or ruining your orgasm if you’re into it.

(V)olume - he’s a low groan and huffer. Grunts and hums of delight. He loves if you’re loud too

(W)ild Card - As perfect as he is with you… he’s not a good guy. He’s explicitly very very evil. He’s controlling, and you don’t even know it. He curates your friend group, how your work is going and when you’ll get a raise or promotion. He slowly influences what you wear and eat too. Nothing crazy, but he likes knowing he is apart of your every waking moment and especially when you break his expectations or do something out of routine! He does love you. He’s just taking care of you in his mind, because he has so much experience he knows what’s good for you.

(X)-ray - BLACK LACE THONG. I am dead serious. He’s a fancy ass, and he thinks it’s funny plus comfy as hell. He thinks it’s a power move as well. He LOVED your first reaction to it as well.

(Y)es - CNC, what with bitches thinking he raped that girl, it was a bit traumatic honestly! He swore off sex for a bit even! Then he like many with sexual trauma learned about CNC and uses it as a healthy kink thang. He likes being the victim and the aggressor and he’s kinda private about it. He needs to trust you a lot first.

(Z)zz - Oh I could see him nappin, he’s taking care of you then cuddling up, put on a show, and nap with you. He likes the vulnerability and the domestic feel of it. Despite his grand age and protest, he IS still human and craves that connection.

[qoldenskies]

Thinking about Rise Splinter hate… it always makes me kinda sad. Like YEAH, it wasn’t right the way he treated the boys. But like, Rise is really good at expressing subtle familial dynamics, and one of the big ones for me is the fact that like… there’s always an undercurrent of “It’s complicated” to their interaction with Splinter. IRL, it always pisses me off to see people casting judgments on people’s relationships with their family, because you don’t know!! Yeah, they hurt you, but not everything’s black and white. It’s complicated. Because you love them, and sometimes you get to understand a little bit better why things happened as you get older.

In a matter of smaller importance, hate for him loses so many opportunities in his character… even things that might just be kinda off-handedly mentioned.

He fought for SEVEN years—give me Splinter with chronic pain. Splinter relating to his boys with their neurodivergence—it’s HIS fault they have it!!!

That was seven years of imprisonment, or even simpler, an abusive relationship. What did he learn from that? How did he change? What things are skewed in his worldview?

His childhood! We saw his relationship with his grandfather a bit, but how did Splinter grow into his dream of being a movies star? HIM BEING A MOVIE STAR. He was both a rebellious team and a literal celebrity, this guy probably took empyrean at some point without knowing it, just like. Recreationally or something LMAO.

I maybe just need more of his old man knowledge. Him being so loser-core was a great move by the Rise team, and I could SEE where his story was going—ROBBED. We were ROBBED.

splinter hate is CRAAAAZY when he's such an INTERESTING character who does actually have a lot of obvious depth. like he's goofy and he's objectively flawed as a parent but he does go out of his way to improve himself and LEARN throughout the show, and he does listen and apologize when he knows he's messed up. his issues are so similar to leo's actually, leo's a kid so he's got more leeway to be shitty but idk when people act like its endearing on him and not on splinter. splinter's hilarious free my man

on the other side of the coin i dont really like when people make him a perfect loving parent either,,, i think people going for all kinds of interpretations in order to serve whatever story they need is fine but i do prefer kind of messy parent splinter, i think its kind of sad to see him reduced down to bad or good. he LOVES his boys so dearly and he would NEVER intentionally want to hurt them, but he's quick to cast judgement when he's angered/feels disrespected (evil league of mutants comes to mind, but also in turtle dega nights when donnie first stops the tank) and he's really a lot more inattentive than he should be. but there are REASONS behind this, coming out of an abusive relationship, fighting in bloodsports against his consent for years, you could probably count the whole draxum thing as traumatic (its presented as kind of silly in the show, but considering what it lead to,, its a pivotal moment in the backstory. its one of those things that i reasonably feel can be recontextualized because its so essential) and then dealing with crippling body dysmorphia and being forced into the sewers with no company other than his children,, it really adds up

idk like ,,,, you can still be extremely traumatized and be a horrible parent. in fact trauma can be a direct CAUSE of being a bad parent because that kind of thing influences every facet of your life and if youre unprepared emotionally, yeah. but splinter isn't the kind of person to double down and become more overtly nasty when he feels cornered. if he gets the feeling that his kids are actually upset with him, he backtracks. this is actually kind of a key trait of his, that he does try very hard to correct himself when he messes up. he's communicative and apologetic, and he tries very hard to be that way.

and also this is maybe something that i just have a wider problem with when it comes to the way people interpret things in cartoons at times but splinter's actions in eps like lair games (especially in lair games) and flushed but never forgotten are meant to be like. jokes. its absurdist comedy that's meant to catch you off guard. there are more serious emotional beats in rise you can use but i think when youre adapting this world and characters into a more serious tone you have to keep that kind of thing in mind because some things are meant to be surprising and absurd for the sake of making you laugh. i think the best comparison i can think of is how in musical movies they're not actually singing (in most cases, sometimes the fact that they actually are is played for laughs it depends. but yk what i mean). the joke is that this is kind of a shitty thing he's doing but taking the actions themselves seriously in a vacuum in order to cast shame on a character has always been odd to me. that'd be like calling raph abusive for rolling up the window on mikey's neck in late fee. or calling the teetz murderers because they caused a robot mass suicide that one time. it just doesnt make any sense

[authorsofghosts]

Bisexual Lighting | Kyle Spencer x Reader

Summery: Valentine's Day parties are always great. Especially when you're being flirted with by the frat guy who's been chasing you for weeks.

Themes: Fluff, Frat Boy!Kyle, Not Bad Ever Happens, Drinking, Golden Retriever!Kyle, Grumpy!Reader (sorry i was angy), Kyle is madly in love with Reader (who keeps rejecting him).

Word Count: 529

@sometimescherwrites here you go whore

The music blared in the large living area of the dorm. It was honestly annoying, making your head hurt. That was until you got another reason to have a head ache: Kyle fucking Spencer.

No matter how little of a party you went to, the bleach blond frat boy found you around like a lost puppy, thematically adorn with puppy dog eyes as he'd watch towards you with two drinks in his hand.

"Hey." He says smoothly. You can't help but roll your eyes, taking the cup from his hand. "You sure are quiet tonight." You groan, which makes him think you're inviting him to speak more. "What's wrong? Not enjoying all the hearts and shit?"

This actually causes you to laugh slightly, "No, I'm just not sure why Cupid's shot you." You grumble, taking a swig. He chuckles, taking a step closer.

"Well, actually, I've been thinking..." Kyle trails off, looking at you, eyes flickering over your face before continuing. "Don't you wanna meet when we're both not getting drunk and forgetting this whole 'college' bullshit?"

"Uh, no. I actually prefer not seeing you sober, Kyle."

He snickers slight, shaking his head, "No, I'm serious. Maybe it's the lighting or whatever, but I promise I'm a pretty cool guy." He looks around, "What's this lighting called again... uh..."

You look at him as he taps his chin, eyes lighting up. "Ah, bisexual lighting. That's it." He looks at you again, smiling. "You heard about that, right?"

You roll your eyes, groaning as you start to walk away. Of course, the man persists. "Oh, what, you're not homophobic are you?" He laughs, leaning over you as you walk, his long legs eating up the distance.

"What? No!" You push him away, "You're joking, right?"

"No, I mean, I was just making sure. Can't be falling head over heels for a bigot, now can I?" Kyle smiles, looking at you with a goofy grin.

You groan, walking fast as you go to the entrance. He cuts in front of you, "Come on. One chance. Let's get outta here and uh... Let's just take, ya know?"

You look at him, sighing before chugging the rest of your drink and throwing it away. "You know what? Fine. Whatever."

This causes Kyle to grin ear to ear, immediately grabbing your hand and pulling you away. "You won't regret this, I promise you." He says, pulling you into the campus and giggling to himself like a school girl.

"You sure about that?" You mumble, making sure he can't hear you.

He sits you on a bench and stand in front of you, looking at you in shock for a moment, not really sure what to do. "Look, alright? I'm like, really bad at this, actually..." He laughs, "I do really like you, alright? I think you're kind, funny, cute. I just really wanted to ditch that party anyways."

You laugh softly, watching him as he talks with his hands and paces slightly, sway side to side. This version of Kyle is actually... Charming? You could get used to it. You stand as take one of his waving hands.

"Fine, let's go for a walk."

[humanelemental]

Different anon, but yes to everything you've said! I'm still so disappointed we got absolutely nothing in the flashback. Like not confirming Rio as the other parent and not getting to at least see the happier times between them (this could have easily been a quick montage). I think this is where 95% of my issues with the Agathario storyline fall. Without Kathryn and Aubrey's incredible chemistry, this pairing would have fallen completely flat. And no comment on Billy lol Such a bland character.

This got away from me so I’m tucking it under the cut.

Yes! That’s why Jac saying all of this post show high key pisses me off! Because from where were we supposed to draw these conclusions that she supposedly wanted to be very obvious. Surely it wasn’t the script. Surely it wasn’t the cut content. Surely it wasn’t how the character’s are written with each other.

For God’s sake, Agatha says Rio’s name one time and it’s not even to her. I was starting to wonder if she even knew her by that name. There’s no terms of endearment, not even angry name calling. She never addresses her at all. And to me that’s such a frustrating detail! Like this is your ex wife? Agatha has a pet name for everyone, good or ill. But nothing for Rio?

Like we had that scene in episode four, which to this day will go down as the most longing I’ve ever scene. And not even a whisper of baby? Sweetheart? Honey? Like Agatha was locked in and fucking cradling the mother of her child and nothing? Same with episode 8. Rio pushes Agatha to the point that after their meeting she crashes out on the road and we don’t even get a “thats enough Rio!” They’re talking about Rio taking their dead son’s soul and we get no reference to this not just being an ex or a former friend but her fucking wife??? Not even a, “you killed our SON!!!” Which wouldn’t have been accurate but it would have fit with what is clearly Agatha’s narrative.

Also also, if we’re crashing out anyway and I’m telling the love of my very long life that she only brings me pain and I never want to see her again? I’m absolutely throwing it in her face that she left me with our son’s cold dead corpse to bury alone with my bare hands in the fucking woods. And, I hate to say it, I think Agatha might be pettier than me. So there’s no way she’s letting that shit go. You cannot convince me that this show wasn’t just being written off the cuff. There are too many moments that just fall flat in really weird ways for this to have been the vision from the beginning.

Also^3 what the fuck was with them giving us no information about the Darkhold, how Agatha got it for real, when she got it, why ect. I mean we can assume, God I’m tired of that, that she was trying to bring Nicky back based on how she acted with Wanda. But beyond that, we have no information on this very pivotal part of her history. And it kept getting brought up, so I hoped we would see something on it.

I completely agree that Kathryn and Aubrey, and the other talented actors and actresses, carried this show in spite of the script. So much of both of their characters come from their physical acting it’s insane. Like can you imagine how bland Rio would be if it wasn’t Aubrey’s adorably unhinged self playing her? Girl said she was eating flowers on set. Like ma’am that’s in zero shots of the final show. She was just out there literally chewing on the scenery. And Kathryn can say more with an expression than most soliloquies. Plus she so consistent with how she physically plays Agatha it’s nuts. Like yes on set for AAA is understandable, but she brought the same mannerisms from WV. Like the finger thing she always does. It’s so crazy impressive.

As a final note, I really liked teen when he was a kind of goofy/sarcastic sidekick that kind of gave off the same vaguely unhinged vibes that Agatha and Rio give. Like the parts where he’s helping blackmail Jen only to turn around an hour later and offer her stale party favors? Peak Teen for me. Also I want to clarify I mean no hate whatsoever to Joe Locke. He’s brilliant and has a wonderful future as an actor ahead of him. I just hated that we lost half the show to him.

[riddle-me-fear]

Hey edward! You remind me a lot of a siamese cat, did you know that? You talk and love the sound of your own voice (much like that of a siamese, who love notoriously chatting your ear off which is another trait you share), and you just have the general goofy "vibe" of one! It's kind of cute, actually!

oh also question for, Dr. Crane if he wants to answer; have you tried fear toxin laced sweets and getting someone to set them somewhere for people to just eat? I know i'm dumb enough to take a free candy and experience "the horrors"

[tw: drugs mentioned]

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Oh nonono, you did NOT just compare me to a cat! GOOFY VIBE?? WHAT???

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

They kinda right tho, ya do give off cat vibes.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I DO NOT!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Why yer so mad about that? Cats're cute.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Not when they're trying to kill me!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Naw, c'mon, ya damn well know they ain't responsible for yer allergies. Or's this still about Selina?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Well, every cat I see does undeniably make me think of her, yes. Not fondly, mind you. Also, every single cat you come across Gotham could be one of her agents, just like every crow might be one of yours.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

How did ya survive bein' with her?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I did not. As you can clearly see.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Right, well, all that ain't got nuthin' ta do with ya behavin' like a cat. Ya even like bein' pet, 'specially by yer ears.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Could you NOT share my weaknesses with the entirety of the internet? Perhaps?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Naw c'mooon, it's hardly a secret at this point.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Nonono-- Don't--! Not now, not here. You stay away from my ears.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Eheheeeh, ya gettin' real sensitive to ma touch as of late. If I blow against yer ear, will ya get har--

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Shhhhut up and get on with the next question, will you?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Hn-hn-hnn. Aight uuh... Have I tried... Ahah ahahahaha! Eheh-- Ehh-- Eddie!

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

What? What is it?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

They-- ahahaha! They's askin' if I-- if-- ahahahaaaah! I-- I can't, jus' read the question ahahaha!

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Jesus, now I haven't heard you laugh this much in a while, what could possibly... Ah. Ahah, oh I see, that-- ahaha! Ooooh that is pretty funny. Right, so Jonathan's busy laughing his ass off, so I'll just answer this question for him. Yes, he very much has done that before. In fact, he's the very reason why trick-or-treating was outlawed in Gotham. And after his little stunt on last year's Halloween, it's being debated whether the holiday should be made illegal entirely.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

PFFF HAHAHA! Oh they can suuuure trah! Fffuckin' dumbasses HAH! Oooh lord... Phew...

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I think you laughing this much actually scares me more than you intentionally being scary.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Aaaw stahp it, ya gonna make me blush.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Pfff-- hahaha!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Fo' real though, I do from time ta time spread sum special candy 'round. But I don't give 'em ta kids as much, unless they be pissin' me off. Scarin' kids is fun tha first couple o' times, but it ain't interestin' fo' long. Ya don't gain nuthin' from it, other than havin' a bit of a laugh. Cuz kids' fears're always tha same. Monster under ya bed, tha dark - an' above all - bein' abandoned by yer parents. Naht that that ever changes in adulthood, but ya get mo' creative with yer fears ova tha years. I also don't take pride in scarin' children, ain't no reason ta do that. Yet.

But uhm... candy don't fly so well with adults, unfortunately. That's why nowadays, I like lacin' other drugs with fear toxin an' bring that inta circulation. Fun part is, once they be tryin' ma stuff, they don't want the other shit no mo'. Even if I be locked up at Arkham again, I don't think tha GCPD's ever gonna get rid of Gotham's huge ass drug trafficking circles. 'S real interestin' what different substances combined with ma toxin do ta people. Real excitin' stuff, gets a bit tricky at times, tough. Ya can't jus', I dunno, throw uhm let's say coke 'n fear toxin in a pot, stir it up an' start sellin, that ain't how this shit works. So I'm still experimentin' 'round.

But there's lots a' shit on tha market by now. I - heh - I luv' tha slang they come up with, like uhm... Pumpkin spice. 'S fear toxin an' LSD, right. NITH or NITHS is pretty creative. No idea who came up with that one, but it stands fo' needle in the haystack. That's combined with heroin, as ya might've guessed. All very Scarecrow-inspired, right, love that. 'Course there's a couple that's already in use, like hay, straw 'n corn, all code fo' weed. Didn't get that one workin' yet. Like a pill or a shot's easy, but havin' something ya burn, boil or uhm... uuh like make an oil out of - that ain't so easy with somethin' that's naht s'pposed ta be in that state. Nuthin' I can't handle, though, I'll make it work.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

And if your distributers remain loyal, we'll have a constant and steady income, and then hopefully make enough money to bribe a couple doctors to give you a proper leg prosthetic and an eye implant which you can actually see with.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Oh, I'll make damn sure they be stayin' loyal. They don't wanna get on ma bad side.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Mmh, I think nobody does, dear.

--------

There is a cut, and you notice it must be some time after they had made the previous recording. The couch is empty, the sun's rays had wandered across the walls and the empty cups they had been drinking from were no longer on the coffee table. Then, suddenly, you see a shadow from the upper left corner of your view. It takes you a couple seconds to realize it's the lower half of Jon's face, which slightly moves into frame. You then hear him murmur.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

He-- He also purrs.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

JonathAAAAN!!

As Edward angrily yells this from another room, you hear Jon's hushed giggle, just before the recording ends.

[toshio]

okay friends. it's been a while since i did an "anime recommendation" post but i'm gonna try do more of them! just remind me on anon or something, i love doing them & sharing my fave anime w/ y'all, duh.

do you like historical fiction? japan? hip-hop music? nujabes? (rip legend, he died in 2010) giant swords, drama and action?

let me yap to you about one of my favorite animes ever.

"samurai champloo" サムライチャンプルー (2004)

the series takes place during an "alternate" version of Edo Japan (anywhere from 1603 to 1867) and it's not historically accurate at all, it's basically just historical fanfiction. even though the anime takes place during the past, the characters are written veryyy contemporary (2000s lingo basically). expect to hear upbeat, hip-hop music with otherwordly yet immaculately produced instrumentals/samples while there's swords clashing.

speaking of music...

let me tell you. the soundtrack on this anime is fucking INSANE. if you enjoy hip hop music, fresh beats, instrumental music that will make you stay up at night and question your existence, this anime has it. mind you, this music was released in the year 2004, and kids on tiktok now are jamming to "aruarian dance" (one of my favorite instrumental songs from the OST) and putting it in the background of their influencer or goofy cat reels. the year i'm writing this post is 2025 and the kiddos fucking looove this anime's soundtrack. it's absolutely timeless. get. into. it. it's that fucking good. all of it is on spotify and other streaming platforms btw. support my king nujabes.

to summarize the plot, Samurai Champloo follows the adventures of three (3) characters. a young girl who's originally a tea waitress (Fuu) who brings two gifted swordsmen with her. their polarizing personalities make the series extremely entertaining, as they often clash and argue over anything. (just dudes being dudes, y'know?)

Mugen (in red) who's your typical jackass. he's rude and lewd. loves women. very unhinged. a lot of fans vibe w/ this guy, his personality is unlike anything i've ever seen in anime. absolute trailblazer. he's the type of kid in high school to pick a fight with you for absolutely no goddamn reason, like over your lunch or something petty.

Jin (in blue) is your typical good guy. quiet dude who is calm and collected. he rarely smiles, and is basically that one quiet kid who's a total badass. we all knew that kid growing up. that's jin. we love jin.

i guarantee you the first episode of this anime will have you HOOKED. this anime is the origin of this iconic misleading boob gif btw. weeb tumblr veterans know exactly what i'm talking about.

the first episode is such a rollercoaster, and a really good introduction to the series. oh and this is one of those rare anime series where the english dub is STELLAR. highly recommend the english dub if you don't like reading japanese subtitles. it fits perfectly with the hip hop music playing in the background. you've got amazing voices like Steve Blum (voices Mugen), Kirk Thornton (voices Jin), and the iconic Kari Wahlgren (voices Fuu).

let me know if you guys pick up this anime, it's a classic! you can get your daily dose of Japan, sword clashing, and hip hop beats. there's about 26 episodes total, nothing too crazy long.

[chai-berries]

you and abby are in the kitchen, cleaning, and she’s playing your shared throwback playlist through the bluetooth speaker. low by flo rida and t-pain comes on and you’re two coffees in and something just comes over you. abby laughs in shock as you get into it, doing everything from the running man to twerking as you put away the utensils from the dishwasher. you are in your own world, your own nightclub in the middle of the day. halfway through you gesture for abby to join you, making overexaggerated moves to make her laugh loudly. she quickly makes her way over to you, shimming her shoulders. you guys dance like you’re in middle school, half grinding, half just you guys doing a noncompetitive dance battle until the song fades. it’s embarrassing how out of breath you both are (shouting lyrics while dancing takes it out of ya) but once you guys make eye contact, you’re breaking out in giggles. she’s laughing so hard she almost falls over and seeing her stumble makes you laugh harder until you guys are even more out of breath.

“stop! it hurts,” abby whines out, clutching her aching abs.

you have to turn your back on her to stop the laughter from bubbling up.

“okay. whew! i think im done,” you halt another laugh when you turn around and see abby bent over. “oh my god are you good?”

“yeah” abby stands straight up. “that hurt my abs more than any gym session has. my god.” she breathes out. once you guys are on the safe side of the laughing fit, she pulls you into her body, arms resting on your shoulders. she rocks you guys as the playlist continues on in the background. it’s just the music for a minute before abby mumbles into the side of your head. “i wish i knew middle school you. i bet you won all the dance battles.”

you snort. “you are giving middle school me too much credit but thank you for saying i won our dance battle”

abby leans back. “i didn’t say you won.”

you put your index finger to her lips, shushing her.

“it’s okay baby. you can’t win every battle”

abby rolls her eyes halfheartedly.

“shuddup,” she says, but the word is soaked in the syrupy sweetness that she saves for you and you only.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants

[galactaknightyaoi]

bro is beefing with a baby

meta knight and galacta knight have a 20 year age difference, however this never affected how he treated him at all. galacta loves getting into petty, childish arguments with his little brother whenever he can. and launching him across rooms and into walls. they love play fighting

despite that, he's very caring and they genuinely loved each other very much!!

also a bit of them as adults, after their reunion... their relationship is well, a lot more complicated now, but as they slowly get comfortable with each other again, their goofiness starts to shine through

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know I really feel like Harry and Dave's relationship goes highly unexplored which is a shame because there IS quite a bit to explore, ESPECIALLY if you care about shipping. But as the game stands I mean, they must be aware of each other. Harry in fact definitely knows about Dave. I don't think he'd tell the fucking weird rotten bunny his terrible boss brought in IS the number one threat against Freddy's since day 1 but even so. Dave I don't think would see Harry as much more than A Phoney™ though, which is always more of an obstacle and way less of a person. Which is usually opposite of how Jack sees his often sole employee. Like, you get what I mean? It's almost similar to 2 with the main opposing routes being Peter and Dave except the stakes are arguably way lower now.

[nozomijoestar]

The entire T8 story is on YT and I hyperventilated so hard you'd think it's not 30 something F right now but 55