#being beautiful no matter your gender should be a sin | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

im-not-samantha-im-samanta · 6 months ago

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Hello again, nonny!

Oh god, I'm so sorry how long this request took me to make.

I really wanted to make your request since you seem really sweet, but I struggled so much! I changed formats and ideas for your request at least 20 times and I'm so burnt out both creatively and in my personal life.

I'm not fully satisfied with my work, I feel like this piece could've been a bit better. But anyways I really hope you'll find the final results acceptable, and I'm again sorry for the way too long wait.

🍎🎶//Not such an awful colour after all...//🎶🍎

(Lilith and Lucifer x gender-neutral!imp!reader)

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Type: Fanfic

Settings: Romantic

Genre: Fluff, though a bit of hurt/comfort feel,

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Reader is hinted to be lonely and maybe a little depressed, hints of Reader having been mistreated in the past, occasional swear words used, idk if it's a trigger but Lucifer is a little awkward at interacting with gender-neutral reader at first (but he's supportive!), mentions of typical Hazbin Hotel stuff like hell, violence, etc., I believe the interaction between Lucifer and Lilith will give you second-hand embarrassment (but I imagine them being this lovey-dovey with each other, sorry), reader is also quite awkward and you'll probably also have second-hand embarrassment from this, and maybe a bit of not-sexual predator/prey feel in some parts is you squint (really not intended in a sexual way), and that should be all!

Sidenote: Reader is written as gender-neutral as per request. But if reader seems to be leaning towards more feminine sense, it's purely unintentional and I apologize!

Sidenote: Lucifer's portrayal is based off what we've seen in the show. As for Lilith, she's written as how the fandom's been portraying her before official release,

Sidenote: It's possible that reader might be a little neurodivergent coded. I just wrote what felt natural to me, and since I'm not a neurotypical, it might've affected Reader's portrayal,

That should be all,

Enjoy,

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Ah, those skies of red. Those sweet skies of red, they're all you've ever known.

Just those skies of red. And streets painted in blood, their shade makes you feel at home.

Skies of red, bloodied streets. As well as endless labyrinths bathing in the shade of ruby.

This is what makes up your entire world as a whole.

What makes up every twist, and every corner, even the littlest of crannies.

The colour of red - it seems to be an ever present companion.

A never leaving company, one that cannot be escaped no matter where you go.

Perhaps it is a punishment given to the sinners - to spend eternity in a sea of blood.

And only have a few distant memories of all the colours life holds.

A punishment to daily remind sinners of that one simple truth.

That just like the Pride ring is drained of colours, they themselves are drained of humanity.

At least, that's what's being passed on as the truth...

You yourself are not one of them, you're not a soul lost to sin and temptation.

And yet, you live the same exact way they do - in a single colour world.

Which is the only world you have ever known.

You may be an imp, sure.

You may have the upper hand over sinners, being able to travel outside Pride.

However, hell works just the same way the human world does.

At least in some ways.

Same as with humans, if you in hell don't have the means, the only travelling you can afford is taking out the trash.

And that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

If we're bring honest here, you actually don't feel like you have the upper hand in this.

Especially considering the fact you're a lowly imp that can barely make a living.

If anything, you would say that sinners are the ones in the lead here.

Because they had experienced something you'd never have - a life outside of hell.

Before getting to hell, all sinners got to experience all the wonders of life.

Especially all those beautiful colours life could hold and come with - something you could only dream of.

You often wonder, though, just how it must feel to have everything you know taken away.

First having everything, and then ending up in a place that lacks most of what used to make up your whole world.

It's a pretty good punishment for sins if you think about it long and hard enough.

But you still don't think it's fair this punishment to see nothing but shades of red involves you too.

You never did anything wrong, and yet you live the same way sinners do.

And that's a fact you've still not accepted, and you probably never will.

The other imps in the Pride ring never seemed to be as bothered by this though.

They never really agreed with your desire of wanting more than just this.

Not even those that were the same as you - without the option to travel or move out of Pride.

Even your own parents always said that you were making this into too much of a big deal.

They didn't understand you, just like none of the other imps around you did.

That fact alone has always made you feel really singled out throughout your whole life.

You felt alone, and like no one really got you or your frustrations regarding living in a single colour world.

You felt like such an oddball - and the other imps didn't really help on that regard.

Most of them would point their fingers at you, and ridicule you.

You experienced that treatment especially when you were younger, still a naive little child.

Because back then you didn't know it was better to keep your mouth shut if your opinions didn't match what the rest thought.

You didn't know any better, but eventually, you've learned to keep such things to yourself.

You had to if you didn't want to continue being lonely and mistreated.

And so, you've pushed your distaste for the colour of red aside, never mentioning it ever again.

Or well, that's how it was until a really unusual and extraordinary day.

On one certain day, a beautiful, vividly turquoise rose was found in Pride.

And it was such an unusual sight that the petite little flower was taken and placed into a museum.

Yet, no one really seemed to care for that small little bloom.

No one really rushed to the museum building to see that little piece of miracle.

No one was excited about it.

No one except you.

It sure felt lonely all over again to be the only one there.

The only one standing in front of the flower secured behind the protective glass.

The only one eagerly wanting to take in every little detail of the flower with true and genuine enthusiasm.

But at the moment you finally got to live your childhood dreams, it didn't really matter.

It was not your loss, it was your gain.

And so, you stood there, gazing fondly at the petite bloom.

And as you did so, you eventually found yourself talking to the flower gently.

"Aren't you just the prettiest little thing all of hell's ever seen?".

You melted over the little miracle as if it could hear.

You spoke to it, letting those turquoise petals know just how much you admired them.

And you could've cared less about whether or not you looked silly.

This was a dream come true - and you've made sure that the little thing knew.

"You have no idea how much I've been wishing for something like you to happen here in hell...".

You found yourself confessing, telling the flower all you've kept inside for years and years.

All of what you've had to push aside and share with no one until this single moment.

And it felt amazing to finally let it all out after suppressing it all for so long.

Even if that small thing probably couldn't even hear or understand any of what you've shared.

Even if all you got in response was just and only deafening silence.

Silence that reminded you that you're the only one around.

The only one to have these certain thoughts regarding your hatred for the colour of red.

And your frustrations about your desires to see more of the colours life can hold.

You really were all alone on this one it seemed...

"Truly a sight to see, am I right?".

A voice broke you out of your thoughts.

And you then found yourself facing a stranger.

An ordinary height man - one with porcelain skin and golden locks for hair.

And two vividly yellow pools for eyes, with their centers of blood red.

Blood red - that one damn, awful shade that you held so much hatred for.

And yet, despite that, you had to admit that the man was quite the looker.

And he definitely knew how to dress - all fancy, and, dare you'd say, flawless.

Well, flawless if you ignored the presence of the colour red in his attire.

But nonetheless, he was truly something you could stare at for hours and not get bored.

And it was quite the surprise that such a man would approach someone like you.

A lowly imp - a creature beneath nearly all of hell kind.

"I wasn't talking about myself, you know?".

The man's voice brought you out of your thoughts for the second time today.

And as his teasing words settled in, you realize that you've been caught staring at him!

A blush immediately covered your face at that realization.

And you profoundly attempted to apologize, stumbling over your words as you did.

The stranger, however, didn't seem all too bothered, nor did he seem disgusted.

If anything, he looked amused, and the warm chuckle he gave reassured you about that assumption.

"Oh, it's nothing to get worked up over,".

The man silenced you gently, waving his hand dismissively.

"I am aware of the effect I have on women, men...".

He went on casually before pausing, and looking you up and down.

"As well as pretty little things such as yourself...".

He grinned at you seductively, but then you could almost see the gears turning in his head.

And as his eyes widened at what seemed to be a realization, his face shifted to a look of panic.

"Sorry- am I allowed to call you a thing? That's not offensive, is it?".

He questioned, making your embarrassment ease up.

He seemed as socially awkward as you at that certain moment.

And you couldn't help but smile as he sputtered some more.

"Fuck- sorry, would it be more acceptable to call you a pretty little person?".

The stranger asked, looking genuinely panicked about the situation.

But before you could reassure him, he went on a tangent.

"Wait- that's probably-".

He sputtered, stumbling over his words without catching a break.

It would be quite a comical sight to see - Him, a gorgeous demon - stressing over possibly having insulted a mere imp.

And to the point of nearly crumbling and begging for forgiveness too.

Truly a scene one doesn't get to see on the daily basis.

You might've even laughed at him if only you didn't feel quite bad for him.

He was obviously a decent person and meant well.

Which was not something you see in hell everyday either.

"Sorry! I've not romanced a gender nonconfirming individual before,".

The man chuckled awkwardly, nervously reaching out with his hand to fix his hat.

But then he almost seemed to choke back on his own chuckle before he, as if in a rush, added:

"-but I'm not actually trying to romance you! I'm just-".

He didn't get to finish his ramblings as you've decided to finally ease his nerves.

"It's all good, no worries,".

You gently cut the stranger off with a friendly chuckle.

And you even offered a soft smile to add to your reassurance.

You genuinely didn't want for this man to stress himself out - he seemed quite sweet.

"You did pretty well for your first time,".

You added in a light-hearted voice, feeling the need to relax the man further.

And to your words, the stranger responded with a surprised blink of his eyes, and his mouth going agape.

But that reaction was short lived as he soon grinned, looking pretty proud of himself.

"I did?".

Was the following verbal answer your reassurance received.

And being the good-natured person you were, you nodded in confirmation.

You didn't get annoyed with him, you actually enjoyed this interaction a lot.

It was like a breath of fresh air to finally talk to someone real.

And someone who was friendly and not a mean-spirited bitch at that!

"Wow, that's... That's a huge relief!".

The stranger chuckled again, but this time it was less awkward, and more warm and relaxed.

"It sure wouldn't do my reputation any good if I were to insult one of my subjects,".

He mused casually while tugging a little at his coat and fixing it to his liking.

"even if by complete accident,".

He added, but then his previous words sunk in, and you had to do a double take.

What did he mean by 'subjects'?

"Um... subjects?".

You voiced your thoughts and confusion, to which the man, still grinning, raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah?".

The stranger said with a voice tone that hinted it should be obvious, as if there was no place for confusion.

But you only stared at the man, clearly not getting the memo.

Yet, the man didn't seem offended, he actually seemed more amused than anything.

"Wait, you actually-?".

He broke put into a short, yet hearty laugh as he gripped onto his hat.

He laughed, but he didn't seem to be ridiculing you or have any ill will.

He just seemed to find the whole situation entertaining.

"My- oh, my!".

The stranger's laughter died down, only a few low chuckles leaving him as he uttered those words.

"Now that's something I don't see every day! You don't really do politics, do you?".

He asked you with a playful smirk, his sharp teeth peeking out from under his upper lip.

And you answered with a shake of your head, confirming the man's suspicions.

"Ah, that explains it,".

The stranger mused as he casually leaned onto his cane in the shape of an apple.

"Well, fortunately for you,".

The man began after a short pause, his eyes half-lidded and relaxed.

With a laid-back grin to complete the look.

"I'm not really one of those stuck-up royals who quite literally lose their shit over people not recognizing them,".

He gave a warm chuckle, along with a look of the same warmth as his laugh.

Like sweet honey stirred into a warm cup of tea.

Then, the stranger with the eyes of ruby put his free hand on his hip.

And he casually crossed his legs, all while still leaning against his cane.

He made his pose look so easy, and completely effortless. Like he had no weight the cane needed to support.

It was quite impressive.

And you wondered whether the man really weighed close to nothing.

Or if it was some sleight of hand kinda deal used to gain admiration from others.

Well, whichever case it were, the cane was perfectly still and straight.

As if the handsome demon wasn't even leaning on it.

"Yeah, that's not really my style,".

You heard the male say, drawing your attention back to him instead of the spear-like cane.

And you looked at the male just in time, because you got to see him casually checking his nails at the end of his statement.

Or well, you got to see him looking at where his nails would be as the stranger had black gloves on, giving no access to his nails.

But still, the gesture got the point across.

You understood the action was to deliver his words in a more smug and careless fashion.

Like he saw himself as above the rest of the popular demons.

And maybe as if he looked down on the others.

Not others as in low class.

Others as in the other royals, those who felt insulted if one didn't recognize them.

But that's beside the point.

What mattered more than how he said it, was the context of what he said.

Because the message that sunk in was clear - this man was a high class it seemed.

"Oh... so, you're a royal...?".

You found yourself saying in a way that made it seem like you were asking.

Like you weren't just repeating what was said to you, but like you wanted to hear a confirmation.

But despite that though, the voice tone you spike in wasn't really impressed nor intimidated.

Unlike what would've been expected of you upon such a find.

But your reaction was genuine, contrary to what one might think.

You truly weren't really impressed or intimidated by the revelation - you didn't find any reason to be.

One could call you naive, but you didn't feel the need to cower or be in awe.

Because this handsome demon didn't seem to want that sort of thing.

At least, that's what you assumed based on your interaction so far.

For the demon acted like a normal and ordinary demon, an equal to you even.

And not just that - he's been sweet and considerate the entire time too!

Not to mention you never got just why were royals such a big deal.

So, your disinterest in the man's status was your genuine reaction, it was no act.

"Sure am,"

The stranger nodded in agreement with your words, a low grin decorating his flawless face.

And you couldn't help but feel this laid-back aura coming off him, he seemed like he had little to no care in the world.

And he gazed at you with soft eyes that welcomed you in despite how much you despised their colour.

Oh, and the way he looked at you...

It made you feel like he wasn't bothered by your lack of reaction or lack of appeal for the fact he was a hight class.

It actually felt like he appreciated it. And his next words seemed like a confirmation of that.

"but, you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it,"

He waved his hand dismissively before addressing you with a:

"my dear little any-colour-but-red enthusiast.".

And the way he's addressed you made you pause.

And as your eyes widened, you had to do a double take.

You needed to let the title he's given you fully sink in.

And oh, when it did, your entire being filled shame and embarrassment.

Because if you got it right, then the man's heard your one-sided chat with the flower!

That one embarrassing heart to heart conversation no one was supposed to hear...

"Wait-".

You muttered, feeling your face beginning to heat up.

"you... you heard me...?".

You asked, and you couldn't even say anything more.

You were so embarrassed!

If one could die from shame, you'd be found dead right on your spot at least twice.

And yet, a part of you still hoped the male wouldn't confirm your worries.

A part of you still believed the situation wasn't so bad.

But then all your hopes were shattered.

"Mhm, I sure did,"

The handsome stranger confirmed much to your dismay.

And you were internally screeching.

You were caught sharing your frustrations with a petite bloom.

Talk about awkward.

You were surprised the stranger didn't run from you.

Fuck, this embarrassing moment was gonna stay on your mind til you die.

Even on your death bed this moment would be in your head on repeat.

"Oh my fucking-".

You sputtered and buried your face into your hands.

And you couldn't stop the involuntary, annoyed groan at the situation.

"I... damn... I'm sorry you had to see that...".

You eventually managed to tell the stranger after getting the courage to face him again.

"I would swear to you thar I'm not as odd as I may look right now,"

You went on, despite not knowing why exactly.

You felt the need to explain yourself, make yourself look better.

But you couldn't really.

"but I, unfortunately, do shit like that pretty often,"

Followed your confession.

Being true was the key, right?

Maybe it'd help in your case? You didn't count on

it.

And yet, the friendly demon surprised you.

"That's quite alright,"

You heard him chuckle.

And just like you previously reassured him, now he was to reassure you.

"if anything, I think you're quite endearing.".

He reassured you, voice warm and sweet, just like his eyes and the look he was giving you were.

And you did feel a bit calmer after his words for sure, although you still couldn't get over the fact this man's heard everything.

After all, what you told the flower wasn't something you'd tell just anyone. Let alone to someone you didn't know at all.

But then, the male spoke up again.

"And, between you and me...".

He started, looking into your eyes.

And then, he said those words you've always wanted to hear.

"I agree with you, hell could use more colour.".

There it was. Those words no one's ever told you. Those words you've always craved to hear.

Someone was agreeing with you and sharing your frustrations.

It felt like a dream.

You needed to pinch yourself, just to be sure this was real.

Your ears weren't deceiving you, were they?

"You... you really think so?".

You asked the stranger, your voice low, words cautious.

You didn't want to risk anything.

Your thoughts were racing, you were all tense, and you almost held back your breath as you waited for the man's response.

The male was quiet for a bit, prolonging your nervousness.

But it didn't seem like it was deliberately to make you suffer.

Since his expression softened - his grin was less wide, less smug.

And his eyes held something in them that was hard to read.

It seemed like recognition or compassion...

And maybe if one looked close enough, they would see a hint of sadness and longing.

As if, long time ago, the man's lost something he cherished dearly.

You've never seen anyone look like that.

And maybe this was why you felt the stranger's words were true.

That he was sick of living in a world made of shades of red just like you were.

"Yes, I do,".

He nodded, melancholia taking over the demon's features.

"Losing the opportunity to witness all the colours life can carry is something I mourn over from time to time...".

He confessed to you as he stood straight again, hus stance no longer relaxed, and he gazed longingly at the turquoise rose.

"You know, when I'm in a certain mood...".

He added with a bit lighter tone and a soft smile sent your way.

As if he was trying to make his words seem more light-hearted and not bring the mood down.

His words made a few questions arise in your head.

He confessed to have known a world filled with colours, which would hint at him being a sinner.

But then again, he said he was a royal, so he couldn't be a sinner.

It was confusing, and you had several questions, but you didn't have it in you to ask.

Instead you remained silent, gaze fixating on those turquoise petals.

Yet, you didn't leave the stranger without a reaction.

It may have been daring, maybe even improper, to do this to a royal, but you felt it was the right thing to do.

And so, you gently placed a consoling hand on the man's arm.

And when the male looked at you with a surprised look, you offered a soft smile and eyes full of compassion.

A look to let him know he wasn't alone in this.

And that gesture seemed to mean a lot to the demon as he offered a light smile back, his eyes seeming more lively after your act.

And you two exchanged a gaze of understanding one another, both of you feeling seen.

And then, the two of you gazed back at the turquoise rose, both of you admiring it in silence.

But this time neither of you were alone. This time you both had someone there with you. Someone to share this special moment with.

This was a moment that meant more than any personal possessions - this moment meant everything.

Yet, getting to have everything at one moment doesn't necessarily mean you'll get to keep that everything.

Such moments were a matter of a few minutes, not a lifetime.

And the reminder of this simple truth, came in a form of a voice.

A female voice that awoke a sense of familiarity in you.

Yet, you could not remember where you've heard that voice before.

And and picturing the owner has proven to be even more hard - it was out of the question.

"Ah, there you are!".

A female voice rang through the empty museum halls.

The sound it carried was smooth and feminine, with elegance.

And it evoked a cozy feeling, if that even makes sense.

There was also this slight raspy quality to it, yet the voice was sweet.

Pleasant to the ears.

You and the handsome stranger both turned around.

And the sight you were met with - oh how to even describe it?

You almost found yourself doubting that you were still standing in hell.

Because you could've sworn you were literally seeing an angel.

The woman that approached was like a divine painting.

Her figure was well-endowed, with long and thin legs.

And her face was sharp and flawless, looking as if made up by angels.

As if to add to her beauty - she had blonde long hair.

And that hair draped over her body all the way to the floor.

Like a veil made of gold.

She truly looked like a being straight out of heaven.

And you would dare to say that she rivaled all the depictions of Eve you've heard of.

Though there was one thing ruining the divine image of hers.

And those were her horns.

Wine red, long and curled horns decorating her head.

"Lili!".

The blond male next to you perked up.

He eagerly waved the woman over, a wide smile on his face.

His sharp teeth exposed.

His entire person appeared to have completely livened up.

Contrary to how solemn he was with you just a few moments back.

"My one and only! Where have you been?".

He asked the woman.

Or well, Lili - as he's addressed her.

And he gazed at her with pure adoration, excitement written all over his face.

And the demon stepped forward with a fond look.

"I could've sworn you were by my side the whole time before- poof- and you were gone!".

The handsome demon went on.

His pace of speech was fast and energized.

And he was almost jumbling his words together in the process.

And with his gesticulation coming on strong, the male had a truly disorganized look to him.

He looked as if his thoughts and emotions were all over the place.

As if they were going millions of miles per second.

It was quite a wholesome sight to see.

The previously seemingly well-composed man turning into a little ball of energy?

Just because he laid his eyes on the much taller demoness?

That was a truly cute and wholesome moment, a heartwarming moment even, if you'd dare to say.

"But that's not what happened, Luci."

The demoness responded to the shorter demon.

Or well, Luci, if we're going by how he was addressed.

And the female chuckled warmly.

She didn't seem bothered by the male's antics.

Instead, they seemed to be something she adored and held dear.

And the look in her lilac eyes held nothing but devotion.

Matching the one in the red eyes of 'Luci'.

Then, at her response, the male demon looked confused.

"It's not?".

He questioned, to which 'Lili' shook her head, chuckling again.

And then came the following answer:

"No, not quite. It was actually you who wandered off.".

'Luci' seemed taken aback by the reply,.

And pointing to himself as he questioned further:

"Me?".

'Lili' then nodded softly.

The fond look never leaving her face.

"Are you- are you sure? I don't remember it happening like that...".

The blond male then mused, his brows furrowing.

And gripping his chin in thought, he puckered up his lips.

He seemed genuinely confused about the whole thing.

Which made him look quite silly.

Though you yourself, personally, found the look quite cute.

And 'Lili' probably shared your view on that matter.

Because she chuckled melodiously.

Which was a truly heavenly sound to your ears.

And as she did, she seemed to almost melt over the male.

"And how do you remember it, dear?".

She questioned, and her lilac eyes held a comforting feeling.

Like that one of summer evening.

When it's getting dark and everything is cooling down.

Getting to breathe and rest.

With a campfire nearby, a good chilly drink in hand.

And the sound of crickets in the background.

A warm, yet still cooling feeling.

"Well, first we were holding hands..."

'Luci' began to explain to his female companion.

And as if on cue, his strong gesticulation began anew.

And with that, he followed through with:

"Then we stopped by those Lust jewels - y'know, those Asmodeus used to wear before eventually donating them here,".

Then he paused for a moment.

He seemed to be trying to remember the rest of the details.

"Then, I noticed the signs about the new expositions...".

He added after a moment of silence.

A pause, and then eyes seemed to sparkle.

Almost as if he's made some sort of accomplishment.

He most likely managed to remember more details of what's happened.

At least, that's what you've guessed.

"Oh, yeah!".

The handsome male chirped eagerly.

And he almost jumped on his spot as he went ahead to fill in the rest of what's happened.

At least according to him:

"And then I go: Look, Lili! The sign here says the turquoise rose is on the upper floor! Come!".

He said, imitating, what you assumed, were his previous actions and words.

"And I rushed upstairs while leaving you by the Lust jewels.".

The demon finished casually as he smiled.

He seemed so proud of himself for remembering everything.

But then, his yellow eyes widened, everything apparently sinking in.

"Oohh, yeah... It really was me who wandered off,".

He muttered as an embarrassed and disappointed look took over his features.

"You were right, yeah...".

'Luci' admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly all while 'Lili' had a knowing look.

It was that smug 'I told you so' look, but without the ill-will in it.

Instead the look held a playful feel.

A playful feel like that of a simple lovey-dovey banter.

A lovey-dovey banter with no hard feelings.

"Oh, Lili- my love!".

The handsome male called dramatically.

And he took ahold of the taller demoness' hands, squeezing them.

"I have committed such shameful act! Can you ever forgive me, my queen?".

He asked in such a over exaggerated, over dramatic voice.

And he looked a few seconds away from dropping to his knees.

Possibly to loudly and unnecessarily plead for forgiveness.

But that wasn't all yet, because 'Luci' added to the scene.

'Luci' began planting soft kisses onto the female's hands.

Yeah, that wasn't really a scene you'd care to watch.

Talk about uncomfortable.

You just had to look away from the two.

And not only was the scene unpleasant to witness.

But you also didn't want to be seen as some kind of perverted freak.

Like, being caught watching this sort of scene?

Yeah, that wasn't on your bucket list.

And so, you directed your focus back on the turquoise rose.

You wanted to give the two the privacy they probably should have.

And surprisingly, it wasn't as hard to tune the two out.

If you focused on the little bloom hard enough, that is.

You were only brought back to the conversation when you heard yourself being mentioned.

"And who's your friend, Lulu?".

The blonde female asked as her gaze met yours.

Her lilac eyes flashed red for a moment and the shade made you really uncomfortable.

It made you want to shrink, if not straight up run away.

And it was hard to tell if you felt that way because of how much you hated the colour red.

Or if it was because the woman's gaze was suddenly so strict and intimidating.

She seemed to be sizing you up, analyzing, judging...

But before you could muster up the courage to introduce yourself, 'Luci' did it for you.

Or well, he attempted to do so.

"Oh! That! That's...".

He eagerly attempted to introduce you.

Motioning to you with his hand as he grinned wide.

But when the blond male realized he actually didn't know your name, he let his hand drop back to his side.

And he chuckled awkwardly.

"I actually have no idea!".

He chuckled awkwardly, making you feel somewhat more nervous.

The way 'Lili' studied you left you quite uneasy and all tense, you were a little panicked.

Because suddenly a thought came to your head.

What if the woman could see you as some sort of homewrecker?

As someone trying to get with the male she so obviously dated?

That thought caused a tight feeling in your chest.

You found it hard to breathe.

And 'Luci' wasn't making it much better, despite not having any ill intent.

At least you hope he didn't.

"I guess we just got a little lost in our conversation,".

The male said.

He sounded much more casual with this statement.

And he fixed his hat a little.

"Isn't that right, my any-colour-but-red enthusiast?".

'Luci' addressed you with a grin.

Pulling you into the conversation without giving you any time to prepare.

Yeah, he wasn't making this situation any easier to handle.

And not having expected to be involved in the chat, your mind went all blank.

You had not anticipated that.

You were not prepared for this scenario.

So, the only reaction you could come up with was an awkward smile.

An awkward smile and a quick nod sent towards the tall female.

You really hoped that if 'Lili' was reading between the lines, she'd see it really was just an innocent interaction.

An innocent interaction and nothing more.

"Ah, I see... how sweet".

'Lili' hummed.

Unbothered, unphased - that's how you'd describe her.

She seemed so well-composed and proper in every way.

Even all of her movements were just so elegant and correct.

If that makes sense.

Natural - that's another words you'd use for the female.

All her responses seemed just so natural and right.

Especially compared to you.

Yeah, nothing about her said 'socially awkward', unlike how it was in your case.

And, as if that wasn't enough - she was also truly hard to read.

You couldn't tell what she was thinking, she was unpredictable.

She could be planning on tearing you apart and you'd never be able to tell!

And that made the demoness so much more intimidating to you.

Especially considering you had a feeling that, unlike you, she could read you perfectly.

That, or she could be potentially misreading you - that would definitely make things worse.

"And I take it your little chat must've been quite entertaining if you've managed to hold my dear husband's attention for so long,"

The blonde's lilac gaze bore into yours once again.

Her long eyelashes gave her eyes a thin and sharp look.

They were like two black, massive folded fans.

You couldn't tell if they were natural lashes or false ones.

Anyways, her words were followed by a smirk - one that made you feel unsafe.

Predatory, dangerous - that was the air her smirk carried.

And you felt like you were about to fall prey to the demoness.

Like you were going to meet the same fate a little mouse meets at the claws of a cat.

Even the female's pupils seemed to be cat-like slits, as if to only add to that feeling.

And you were so sure that 'Lili' would've pounced on you.

If only 'Luci' didn't chime in.

"Hey! My attention span isn't so bad!".

The male demon called, hands on his hips as he looked quite offended.

Yet, he smiled playfully afterwards.

So, it was safe to assume that he wasn't truly as insulted as it may have seemed.

And another argument for that claim would be the man's next actions.

For his body took a much more relaxed stance, and he added:

"But yeah, yeah, it was a good chat,".

And he then simply fixed his hat a little as it previously nearly slipped off his head when he so intensely perked up at his wife's little jab at his person.

But shortly just after fixing his hat, the demon perked up again.

Almost sending his hat flying off his head once more.

"because-".

'Luci' jumped up.

He seemed to have recalled the exact context of the chat he had with you a few moments ago.

And suddenly, he no longer looked relaxed or casual.

Instead, in an blink of an eye, his calm demeanor switched up for a much more energetic one.

He acted like a little ball of energy once again.

"you won't believe it, Lili- but this little imp actually shares our passion!".

The blond male said with a wide grin.

And he started gesticulating strongly again.

Almost as if he was practitioning pantomime.

He seemed just so eager to share this with his female companion.

And he spoke so fast and excitedly that he almost struggled to breathe.

But after a long and deep breath, 'Luci' managed to sputter out the rest:

"They also think hell could use more colours! Isn't that- isn't that awesome, Lili??".

And at the mention of your desire to see more colours in hell 'Lili's eyes seemed to spark with interest.

"Oh, you don't say.".

She mused.

Her thin fingers grazed her face for a second, her eyebrows raising up a little.

And her expression softened.

Then, another light smirk appeared on her face.

But imposing isn't a word you'd call that smirk she wore.

This certain smirk was different than the previous ones.

This one seemed much safer, and almost friendly.

And 'Lili' had something more lively about her as she said:

"Well then, it seems we'll get along just perfect,".

And with those words, the blonde demoness took a step towards you.

"May I ask for your name? I'm sure that'd be much preferable than being referred to as any-colour-but-red enthusiast.".

The female told you with a short, yet warm chuckle.

And a hand casually rested on her curvy side.

Most of the intimidating demeanor she previously had seemed gone.

She seemed to have eased up.

Which gave her a more approachable feel.

And thanks to that, you yourself felt much more at ease being in the woman's presence.

So, it wasn't as difficult to muster up the courage to speak as it was before.

"Oh- y-yeah... I'd much rather be called by my name, yeah, that'd be much better, totally,".

You chuckled awkwardly.

And nodding your head with a light smile, you rubbed at the back of your neck.

You were rambling a little too.

You still felt a bit of unease.

But that was to be expected.

Considering you've not had this much of genuine social interaction in years.

But, 'Lili' didn't seem to mind.

She just looked at you with almost a motherly, compassionate look.

And she waited for you to introduce yourself with patience.

"Oh- damn- I'm rambling again, sorry,".

You said nervously after a short pause when you were processing your own actions.

And you almost started rambling anew before you caught yourself going that direction.

And you stopped yourself.

You needed to compose yourself.

You didn't want to drive her away by your social incompetence.

"Ahem, anyways, yeah, my name... I'm (Y/N),".

You finally introduced yourself.

And proud of your accomplishment, your inner self did a little victory dance.

Then, remembering how social interactions work, you added in:

"It's really a pleasure to meet you.".

You nodded with a smile before perking up and quickly saying:

"Ah- erm- both of you,".

And you sent a timid smile towards 'Luci', wanting to acknowledge him as well.

You didn't want for him to feel left out.

Your gesture seemed to be appreciated as the blond male smiled right back.

But instead of 'Luci' speaking up, it was his wife to follow though with the conversation.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well.".

'Lili's voice pulled your gaze right back at her figure.

And your full focus was on her once again.

"Truly it is, (Y/N).".

The demoness added in, nodding her head as if to confirm her statement.

After that, another smile formed on her lips, and she had this slightly amused look to her.

"Now, normally I would suppose that there's no introduction needed on our part,".

She mused, a hand resting on her chest while she leaned over a little, towering over you.

Her tall frame casted a bit of a shadow over you, making you feel much smaller than you actually were.

And she got so close that you could smell her expensive perfume.

But that was the least thing you needed to focus on.

You needed to listen to her words - which you forced yourself to do.

"but judging by this entire interaction, I would say you have absolutely no idea who we are,".

You heard 'Lili' say as your focus was back on the context of her words.

And her entire person was once again imposing as she finished her sentence.

She was wearing a light, entertained grin - one that exposed her pearly white fangs.

And despite her grin being quite pronounced, it did not take off her elegance.

If anything, it only made her more heavenly gorgeous.

And showing those pointed teeth some more, she asked:

"Am I correct in that assumption?".

With that question, she raised an eyebrow.

Her expression wasn't confused as one might have assumed, though.

No, the demoness seemed to already know your answer.

And that knowing look she wore only further confirmed that claim.

Perhaps you were right when you assumed 'Lili' could easily read you.

That realization alone made your eyes widen, and you sputtered:

"Oh- y-yeah- that would be right.".

You nodded your head with an awkward smile, feeling both nervous and embarrassed.

And your nervousness was, of course, affecting you, as you rambled a little just like you previously did:

"Yeah, I have no idea who you two are... I don't do politics and famous people... buuuut, you're... probably someone... important...?".

At your guess, both 'Lili' and 'Luci' chuckled, and they exchanged a glance.

"Oh dear, you have no idea,".

The blonde demoness stated as another soft chuckle left her lips.

Then she covered her lips with her fingers for a few seconds, looking amused.

And the way 'Lili' and 'Luci' were gazing at you left you unable to do anything other than smile awkwardly.

Their gazes were hard to describe, but you felt preyed upon.

Just like you previously felt with the women at the start.

Except it felt a bit different in a way you couldn't quite describe.

Not to mention that this time 'Luci' was a part of it.

The male demon's even gotten closer to you just like his wife did a while ago.

"They're precious, aren't they, Lili?".

'Luci' suggested as he stepped forward.

His gaze was focused on you, and he was giving a sharp toothed grin.

A grin that called for you - begged you - to read between the lines.

But that could be just your imp nature speaking, right?

After all, imps were used to being the prey to other demons.

So it made sense for you to be alert around other demon species, right?

Well, even then, the answer 'Lili' gave to 'Luci's question didn't help you feel safer.

"Quite so, Luci,".

'Lili' mused as her gaze trailed over your whole person.

She was looking you up and down with predatory eyes - like a snake looking at a little mouse.

Her gaze was unnerving, and the female didn't seem to bother with doing that action subtly either.

As if she felt no shame in doing so.

Almost as if she wanted for you to be aware of what she was doing.

And as if that wasn't alarming enough, 'Lili's gaze then trailed off towards 'Luci'.

The two looked at each other, exchanging a certain gaze.

You couldn't tell what kind of gaze it was exactly, but it made you feel so much more preyed upon.

It appeared as if the two were wordlessly agreeing on something, plotting even.

And you didn't like that one bit.

But before you could even think to perhaps run off, the couple directed their attention back at you.

"Well, dear (Y/N)... It seems an introduction is in order,".

'Lili' then told you in a smooth voice as she once agai leaned over you in one elegant movement.

Meanwhile 'Luci' stood aside, watching the further interaction with an eager grin.

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Lilith,".

The blonde demoness introduced herself, a hand on her chest.

Then, she motioned to the male beside her with her hand.

And the demon in question stepped forward, placing his hand into the female's palm.

"And this is my husband, Lucifer.".

Lilith introduced the male, making you pause.

You needed a moment to do a quick double take on that information.

But before you could even questioned anything, the mentioned male spoke:

"Lucifer Morningstar. It's a pleasure to officially meet you, (Y/N).".

And with those words, the world suddenly seemed to stop and freeze in time.

Your mouth and throat went completely dry, and your pulse seemed to halt.

The room seemed to begin to spin, your body breaking into cold sweat.

And all you could hear was loud and painful ringing in your ears.

This couldn't be real.

"W-wait...".

You attempted to speak, your eyes wide.

You wanted to say something - anything!

But your brain seemed to have crashed and gone blank.

You were unable to formulate a single simple sentence.

You were at loss for words.

And at loss for breath too it seemed.

Your throat was all closed up, and all you could give was a pathetic little gasp for air.

"Oh? Oh? What is it, dear?"

Lucifer looked entertained - and it was the same for Lilith.

The pair watched you do a bit of your mental gymnastics with amused gazes.

Both were grinning.

Seemingly finding some kind of joy in you finally realizing just who you were dealing with.

"Do those names... I don't know... maybe ring a bell?".

Lucifer asked you in a sweet and seemingly well-meaning, yet still condescending voice.

He sounded playful, as if this was just some kind of a game.

But when the demon got no response from you, he grinned wide and turned to his wife:

"Why, Lili, I have a feeling those names do ring a bell to them,".

And Lilith, seemingly equally as amused, nodded along:

"Yes, it certainly seems like it, Lulu,".

You had absolutely no idea as to what to do in this situation.

Your brain was way too overloaded to figure out a possible solution for this.

Thinking was out of the question, so was talking yourself out of this situation.

You were so fucked.

And so, acting on default, you dropped to your knees, hands in a praying position, attempting to ask for forgiveness.

You didn't dare look at the two, your eyes being directed to the ground as your entire body trembled.

And you pitifully tried to verbally ask for forgiveness of the pair too.

But all you could force out were just pathetic little noises and sputters of nonsense.

"Now, that's quite a bit of an extreme reaction, don't you think?".

Lucifer mused all so casually, sounding unbothered by the display.

And Lilith matched the casual, unphased voice tone, saying:

"Come now, get off the floor, dear. The ground is way too dirty for you to be sprawling all over it like that,".

After that, Lucifer chimed in again, following through with:

"Yeah, and you might want to wipe off those tears as well, they're a bit too dramatic,".

Their words and reaction confused you so, and made you pause.

You didn't know what was going on - you've not expected this.

They were supposed to tear you apart, weren't they?

Because you didn't recognize them and talked to them so casually, right?

Well, not even Lucifer's next words made that any clearer.

In fact, you actually ended up feeling even more confused then.

"And I gotta ask: is your memory not working well?".

Lucifer asked, and a hint of disappointment lingered in the air.

You didn't understand his words, or his voice tone.

Both only made more questions arise.

And you cautiously looked up to him,

"wha- what?".

You muttered, voice barely loud enough to be heard.

You felt almost afraid to question what Lucifer's said.

You just can't help yourself but be fearful of the male.

Even if he's been nothing but pleasant to you the whole time.

But, could anyone even really blame you for your unease and fear?

He was the literal Devil, and you've treated him like an equal.

There was no way that Lucifer wasn't insulted or upset over this.

"I mean, I told you I'm not one of those royals who lose it if one doesn't recognize them, no?".

Well, it turned out your assumptions were all wrong.

These words that Lucifer's said have proven you wrong.

He didn't seem upset whatsoever, and his words confirmed that.

Sure, he sounded just a little disappointed with you in a way.

But he was not upset, which definitely was a relief.

However, you still had yet to properly calm down and relax.

"Y-yeah... you did...".

Was all you've managed to clumsily force out.

And your voice tone sounded just a little surprised.

That was because you've experienced a bit of a realization.

Truth be told, you've completely forgotten about your previous conversation.

You've forgotten just what kind of a royal Lucifer told you he was.

And when you remembered the male's previous words, your eyes widened a little.

Yet, your mind didn't feel any clearer, you still felt the same.

So, saying anything more was a task you could not achieve.

But, the devil went on with the conversation anyways.

"Then what's up with that reaction?".

He questioned you, an eyebrow raised.

He sounded almost judgemental at that certain moment.

He even looked the part - an unimpressed gaze, a hand on his hip.

Yet, somehow, there was still no feeling of ill-will to him.

Still, it wasn't any easier for you to think of what to say.

"I- I... well... y-you see...".

You clumsily attempted to explain yourself.

But a weak little mutter was all that you could give.

You couldn't say anything more, your brain felt too empty.

Everything that's happened just left you with a clouded mind.

And your thoughts and emotions were all over the place.

So, a soft mutter and a distressed whimper was the best you could do.

But Lucifer didn't seem to mind that, not even in the slightest.

"Nah, I'm just pulling your leg!".

He called with a hearty chuckle.

And he dismissively waved his hand as he added:

"I totally get the whole dropping to your knees thing!".

"I mean, we're literally the rulers of hell, so it makes complete sense for you to act this way,".

The blonde male went on and on.

He seemed to be having a good laugh at all of this.

And he gesticulated and spoke all enthusiastically.

But you didn't really catch any of what was being said.

Your brain was way too overloaded to be able to do so.

And the longer Lucifer spoke, the worse you began to feel.

Much to your relief though, Lilith finally chimed in once again.

"Luci, I think you're completely overwhelming the poor thing,".

The queen of hell noted.

She sounded a little amused just like the male was.

Yet, there was a clear hint of concern in the way she spoke.

"Oh, am I?".

The king of hell paused.

Finally, he took a moment to take in your state.

And when he did, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and mused:

"Yeah... I think I am,".

After Lucifer noted that, Lilith focused and spoke directly to you.

"We apologize, (Y/N).".

She started in a gentle tone.

And her expression was not as amused anymore.

At that certain moment, she seemed almost apologetic.

But not too much.

"It's just that it's not often someone doesn't recognize us, and we couldn't help ourselves,".

The demoness explained.

And you could've sworn her eyes held genuine concern in them.

Although her overall stance didn't really change much.

The tall blonde was still perfectly well-composed.

And she still appeared mostly unphased.

Then she finished her speech with:

"all was meant in good fun,".

At that final explanation, you paused.

Your racing thoughts came to a full stop.

And processing Lilith's words, you said cautiously:

"S- so we're... all good?".

Your words came out slow and soft.

And you were careful with your wording too.

You were kind of testing the waters in a sense.

The two rulers of hell kept surprising you.

They were continuously proving to not be a threat to you.

Yet one could never be fully sure - especially not in Hell.

And especially not as mere little imp.

Your question was met with a warm smile from Lilith.

And she nodded to your words, confirming them.

"Yes, we're all good".

She confirmed.

Relief washed over you then.

And you made sure to voice that.

"Oh- holy shi- I'm so relieved!".

You breathed.

And only then did you get off the ground.

"Fuuuuck,".

You gave a breathy chuckle.

And you wiped some metaphorical sweat off your forehead.

You felt on cloud nine - as if you've escaped death.

So, you couldn't really control your vocabulary at the moment.

Not like it mattered anyways.

"For- for a moment I thought-".

You stumbled over your words a little.

This entire thing felt just so unreal.

You were overwhelmed again.

But this time not exactly overwhelmed in a bad way.

"For a moment I thought it'd be off with my head or something!".

You admitted.

And you gripped your head.

You needed a moment to fully process everything.

"Whaaat? No! No, we'd never do that!".

Lucifer called, pulling your focus back to himself and his wife.

He looked and sounded astounded.

As if not grasping just where you got that idea from.

But then he paused, and he gripped his chin in thought.

"I mean, we probably did that at some point, centuries and centuries ago...".

He thought out loud.

And that made your eyes widen a little.

You couldn't tell of he was just kidding around again or not.

And you almost felt your unease returning.

But then came the following exchange.

"Or did that happen only in a dream...?".

The Devil mused, confused and uncertain.

To which Lilith shushed him gently yet disapprovingly:

"Lulu, you're not helping,".

That was all she said.

She didn't deny or confirm anything.

And Lucifer perked up just then.

"Oh- yeah, right... that was a little beside the point I was trying to make...".

Lucifer admitted awkwardly.

He even gave a slight apologetic look for a quick moment.

But that expression of his was pretty much short lived.

Since then he relaxed and offered a friendly smile.

"Sorry, dear (Y/N), I tend to trail off sometimes.".

He told you, voice calm and pleasant.

And his words were even accompanied by a low chuckle.

"I can confirm that,".

Lilith voiced in, her tone just as pleasant, as well as humorous.

The mood in the room suddenly felt much better.

It felt easier to just be in the moment.

Lilith's little jab at Lucifer's expense made the male give a playful glare.

And to that, the demoness offered a playful smirk back.

Then, the blond male spoke again.

"Anyhow, I think we should properly apologize for how we...".

Lucifer trailed off.

Seemingly trying to find the right term to use.

"had fun at your expense?".

Lilith filled the rest in.

Helping her lover name what they did correctly.

And the male nodded in agreement:

"Yeah... that'd be the word,".

Then, Lucifer added:

"So, what can we do to apologize?".

The words of the pair had you astonished.

After all, they did give you a verbal apology already.

So, you'd just assume the situation was over.

It wasn't like you wanted anything more from them anyways.

After all, getting an apology out of someone as an imp was near to impossible.

And having someone want to do a selfless act to undo their wrongdoing?

That was twice as impossible.

No one really cared for imps.

Nor did they really see them as equals.

And yet, here were the two highest ranking demons in all of hell.

Both of them treating you fair and with respect.

You were so beneath them.

Yet they treated you more kindly than your own kin.

And maybe even more kindly than you treated yourself.

"Oh- no, no, that's completely alright!".

You dismissed the pair's offer.

You really weren't used to such treatment.

And you almost felt bad if you were to accept.

"No real harm was done! All's good!".

You went on.

You really didn't want for these two to burden themselves for your sake.

Honestly, it felt a little wrong.

However, your dismissiveness got matched.

Lilith and Lucifer weren't accepting of you waving it all off.

"No, no, we insist!".

Lucifer cut your efforts off.

And he matched your own voice tone.

Dismissive and insistent, and also a bit loud.

"Truly, we insist.".

Lilith nodded along, not letting you speak.

"After all, words are just so cheap - actions speak much louder".

She persuaded some more.

And the Devil was there to her aid, saying:

"So, even if we shall do just a simple act like buying you coffee... We insist,".

Of course, your first instinct was to keep declining.

Yet, something in you had you pause and think.

This was an opportunity like no other.

For you seemed to get along well with the two so far.

And the pair seemed to understand you like no one else.

After all, the two shared your view on Pride needing more colour.

Who knew if you didn't have more things in common?

And perhaps this was the moment you've always been waiting for.

Did you really want to sabotage yourself and throw it all away?

The answer was no.

No, you didn't.

And so, with a bit of hesitation, you stated:

"I guess... that coffee does sound good?".

And with your sheepish smile and answer the deal was sealed.

Because the king and queen both grinned.

"Good, I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about,".

Lilith hummed.

She sounded pleased.

"And we'll start with why Pride needs more colour".

Lucifer added in.

And he gave a playful wink.

Then, his red eyes met yours for a moment.

And the Devil smiled at you before calling eagerly:

"Off to a cafe we go!".

And with that, the male rushed towards the museum exit.

He seemed to completely forget about you and Lilith.

"You'll get used to it,".

Lilith told you with a smile.

And as her lilac gaze met yours, her eyes flashed red again.

But this time her red eyes didn't intimidate you.

You two then went ahead to follow Lucifer.

And on your way out of the museum, you had just one thought.

That being:

That now you couldn't really hate the colour of red as much as you used to.

___________________________________________

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nerdygaymormon · 11 months ago

Text

Queer Gospel Music

This past year I came across several songs that I enjoy listening to on Sundays. I created a playlist for myself for Sundays and thought I'd share with y'all.

Yet : Ashley Hess - Ashley Hess was a finalist on the 2019 season of American Idol. I heard her perform this song at the Gather Conference where she introduced it by saying, "The next song that I'm gonna play is a song that I wrote in my lowest time. But it's a song that's so special to me because it was the moment that I felt like I finally came out of hiding, and that the Lord not only saw me, but loved me and embraced me." I can relate so much to that. Plus, I don't hear many songs from the perspective of "I'm trying, so God please don't give up on me."

God Loves Me Too : Brian Falduto - Brian played the gay kid in the movie School of Rock, and catapulted the character into an LGBTQ icon when he delivered the line “You’re tacky and I hate you.” Now as an adult, Brian is back and singing that no one has to earn God’s love. Brian wrote the song after visiting a church that was welcoming and accepting of queer people. I look around and see I’ve found a place where peace and love abound. I’ve waited my whole life for the truth. It is true, God loves you. It don’t matter if you’re LGBTQ

My Little Prayer : David Archuleta - David wasn't out yet when he recorded this, but I imagine he really related to some of these lyrics, such as I'm beginning to understand that you (God) have a plan for me.

The Queer Gospel : Erin McKeown - I love these lyrics. There are those who think we're wicked. There are those who call us names: depraved, lost and sick, and would rather bathe us in shame. But we put the "sin" in sincere, we put the "do" in the doubt. God is perfectly clear. We are perfectly out. Love us as we are. See us and we're holy. In this shall we ever be wholly ourselves.

Good Day (feat. Derek Webb) : Flamy Grant - Matthew Blake was a worship leader for 22 years who has become a “shame-slaying, hip-swaying, singing-songwriting drag queen” named Flamy Grant (it's a play on the name of gospel singer Amy Grant). The lyrics talk of coming back to church after having left for feeling oppressed. They’ve come back to church because despite what some say, God’s love is expansive enough for everyone. God made me good in every way, so I raise my voice to celebrate a good day.

Believe : GENTRI - The pianist for this group is gay. After coming out, he was having a hard time with faith and was angry at God, and he felt God gave him this song as part of his healing process. Believe there is an answer. And while you feel you're buried deep in a disaster, believe more hands are waiting, ready to lift you up and carry you back to safety. You're not alone, keep holding on. And believe.

Explaining Jesus : Jordy Searcy - In 2014, Jordan was a contestant on The Voice. He grew up active in a church and since being on the television show he has written several religious songs, including this one. Jordy discusses the shortcomings of churches, comparing the ways in which church members act and interact with each other, including how they treat the gay community and oppress women. If you're gay and over 85, you've felt for your whole life that when God made you, he just messed up. In the chorus he apologizes that this has been the experience, I'm sorry no one explained Jesus to you.

Satan's Tears : Kyler O'Neal - Did anyone ask how real you are? Has anyone said that you are loved, or that you’re the one they’re dreaming of? Those questions start this beautiful song by trans woman Kyler O’Neal. The song addresses a young gender non-conforming person unaccepted by their world, and the singer promises to wipe away Satan’s tears which were created by a cruel society

Same Love : Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert - Macklemore sings that his gay uncles should be allowed to marry, and speaks of how Christianity has hurt gay people. "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five hundred years ago. The song concludes with Mary Lambert singing I’m not crying on Sundays, which I think means not letting religious intolerance and churches harm us anymore

No Place in Heaven : MIKA - Mika is singing about how religion teaches there’s no place in heaven for gay people because the way we love is sinful. Father, won’t you forgive me for my sins? Father, if there’s a heaven let me in

God Is : The Outer Banks - I don't know that they had queer people in mind when they wrote the song, but the lyrics relate to the conflict between one’s queerness and relationship with God. God was never angry. God was not against me. God was never far away. God is not disappointed.

I Know it Hurts : Paul Cardall & Tyler Glenn - I just wanted to believe, but how am I supposed to believe this about me? And then we find each other, queer church members who can understand what we’re going through, who know the hurt. For most queer people, they leave church and go on a different path. They’re not lost, a faint light at the end is guiding their way, they’re finding another way back home.

Losing My Religion : R.E.M. - The song was interpreted as the struggle of a closeted gay man coming to terms with what his religion taught about gay people and is seen as an example of queer coding in the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Lead singer Michael Stipe had declined to address his sexuality, so when “Losing My Religion” came out, people assumed Stipe was coming out as gay. Consider this the hint of the century. Consider this the slip.

HIM : Sam Smith - This is a song about a boy in Mississippi coming out and the conflict between his sexuality and his religious upbringing. He is grappling with the feeling that there’s no place in church for him because he’s gay. Holy Father, we need to talk. I have a secret that I can’t keep. I’m not the boy that you thought you wanted. Please don’t get angry, have faith in me.

Pray : Sam Smith - You won’t see Sam in church, but they say they’re a child of God at heart and are begging God to show the way. I’m not a saint, I’m more of a sinner. I don’t wanna lose, but I fear for the winners

Faith : Semler - This song reached No. 1 on the iTunes Christian music chart and is about growing up queer in a faith community and how the rejection by the church left them scarred. When my religion turned against me, they said my hopes and dreams were faulty. I showed these holes inside my hands, and they claimed they couldn’t see.” Even as they struggled with the church, Semler kept a relationship with Jesus and flourished far more than she did in any church building. But I don’t wanna get small to be in those rooms

Hey Jesus : Trey Pearson - Trey made headlines in 2016 when as the lead singer of the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, he came out as gay. Three years later and Trey has a question: Hey Jesus can you hear me now? It's been awhile since I came out, I was wonderin' do you love me the same? As a person who struggles to reconcile faith with sexual orientation, I find this song quite moving.

Heaven : Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who - Troye sings about what it’s like for a religious teenager to come out as gay. Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven? All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh, so if I’m losing a piece of me, maybe I don’t want heaven? Troye explains “When I first started to realise that I might be gay, I had to ask myself all these questions—these really really terrifying questions. Am I ever going to find someone? Am I ever going to be able to have a family? If there is a God, does that God hate? If there is a heaven, am I ever going to make it to heaven?” The video features footage from LGBTQ+ protests throughout history.

Revelation : Troye Sivan and Jónsi -This song was written for the movie Boy Erased, which is about a young man being sent by his parents to a conversion therapy camp to try to change him to not be gay. The lyrics are about feeling liberated from the toxic teachings he learned at church about LGBTQ+ people. It’s a revelation. There’s no hell in what I’ve found, and no kingdom shout. How the tides are changing as you liberate me now and the walls come down. In other words, God doesn't condemn me for my queerness.

Orphans of God : Ty Herndon & Kristin Chenoweth feat. Paul Cardall - The message of the song is we are all loved by God, we are all thought about, we are all created equally and God loves us all the same.

Midnight : Tyler Glenn - The Neon Trees frontman gives an emotional song about his departure from the Mormon church but not from God. The ballad is accompanied by a video that shows Glenn removing his religious garments and replacing them with a glittery jacket, which is such a powerful metaphor.

#queerstake

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ravenlking · 2 years ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐄 finally, i get my own happily ever after. because the words written on your wrist...is my name

gender-neutral warnings: mentions of war and slight ptsd genre: angst + fluff a/n: - blame @faebaex for the sudden lilia brainrot lmao. i should be doing my hw but here i am! - yes, i cameo-d! hehe, be prepared for more of me popping up in the oneshots! :) - pictures don't belong to me, they go to their original owners! - please give me feedback :)

Let me know if you'd like more!

𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐄

Thousand of years filled with the bloodshed of the fallen and innocent filled Lilia Vanrouge's nights. It was like an endless repeat to curse him for his sins, the blood that he may never be able to wash off his hands. Everything was a bitter reminder of the wars; the winter snow resembling the ashes of burned-down villages, screams of delighted children were too similar to screams of innocent children being burnt alive...he couldn't help the onslaught of red-stained memories plauging his mind. Tonight was no different as the war-general snapped out of his slumber, sweat drenching his pink-black locks and pillow. He raised a tired hand against his forehead and sighed. It seemed that he wouldn't be getting a good night's sleep again.

Tomorrow was the opening ceremony, the bright red circle on his calendar reminded him. Sebek would be joining them. Lilia chuckled under his breath at the chaos the lime-green first year would bring. It would mark the start of another school year, another year of mischief and mayhem from this mischievous fae.

Lilia turned and tossed around on his bed, trying to regain the lost hours of sleep. He caught sight of his bare wrists and let out another heavy sigh.

Soulmates...a person that fate promised each and every soul. It signifies a happily ever after with someone they were bound to fall in love with, someone to come home to after a long day at work or someone to jump into your arms with a gleeful smile all because they were able to see you again. Yet, Lilia Vanrouge's wrists remained bare of any ebony-black writing. Was this fate's way of punishing him for his sins? The war he led, the soldiers that were never able to get back home...perhaps it was for the best that he never burdens someone else.

Something painful filled his chest. He sat up, groaning and pressing a hand to the wound that never healed, even after centuries. No...it wasn't his wound flaring up again. But perhaps the late night would do him good. He slid the silk sheets off his petite body and his feet found his slippers. He wrapped a lime green robe over him before approaching the balcony belonging to the room of Diasomnia's vice dorm-leader.

The stars were rather beautiful tonight, he mused. He leaned against the barrister, tilting his head up. How many nights has it been since he was able to relax like this?

Something quick, the color of pure snow, flashed across the night sky. Lilia stood at attention, magenta eyes tracking it. A shooting star, symbolizing new dreams and wishes to be granted. Perhaps...it was worth a try? He had nothing to lose anyways. He clasped his hands together, squeezing his eyes shut.

Please, he prayed. Grant me my soulmate, even after all my sins. I promise to love them with all my heart and soul. Whoever you are, this is my confession. As dark as my past has been, I will always find enough light to adore and love them with all the broken pieces my soul is composed of.

He cracked open an eye. The night sky was barren of the shooting star. Whether it heard him or not doesn't matter. Lilia's hands slumped to his sides. It was getting late, he should try sleeping a bit before tomorrow's busy ceremony. He turned on his heel and walked back.

"Your prayer has been heard, Lilia Vanrouge."

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

The large double doors leading to where the Opening Ceremony was being conducted slammed open, revealing a panting fae with pink-black hair. He fed the premises before judging the distance was far enough. He turned on his heel and quietly teleported somewhere else, popping up somewhere far away. Lilia leaned against one of the trees in the Courtyard, tilting his head back and giving out a bitter chuckle.

One of the first years looked all too similar to one of the younger soldiers that died in the war. Long charcoal black hair with bright purple eyes was all it took to unlock the barricade of memories. Bittersweet memories of battle-hardened Lilia Vanrouge and little Raven King hanging out together after long days on the battlegrounds. Sweet memories were tainted crimson as he fell to his knees, bundling up her charcoal black hair that was stained with her blood.

In the present time, Lilia's eyes were glassy and glazed over, blankly staring at the ground before him. As memory after memory tortured him, his breathing became more labored before it was getting harder to breathe. He didn't notice someone creeping closer towards him in curiosity before noticing his labor breaths. You approached him before shaking his shoulders.

"Mister? Sir, are you okay?!"

"Y-you're dying," Lilia choked out, falling to his knees and crawling closer to his young charge. Raven smiled weakly before coughing roughly, little blood spits dotting the ground around them. Lilia's eyes widened before he brought her head into his lap, stroking her hair softly. He placed a hand on her forehead, mouth opening to chant a healing spell despite the seriousness of the wound before she spoke.

"L-Lilia," Raven choked out. "I-It's okay. S-save...breath...fight on."

"Mister?! Oh my days...sir! Please! Breathe!"

The way Raven smiled at him, even with her face dirtied by the dust storm and splattered with the sword wound, it brought him to tears. He knew he shouldn't have gotten close to a friend, but he couldn't help the way his walls fell upon seeing her childlike happiness.

"D-don't forget me," Raven took a shaky breath. "Live...happy forever, o-okay?"

"Sir, wake up! Wake up!"

His world seemed like it was being shaken. He kept staring into Raven's violet eyes, which were beginning to dim. His own magenta eyes widened as he shook her. Blood. It continued to flow out of her wound.

"Raven! Raven Leonidas King, wake up!" He choked out. "Your general orders you to! Damn it, wake up!!"

Her head lolled to the side as she took her last breath before falling still. A strangled cry filled the air, sounding monstrous in nature. He barely realized the way the shout tore at his throat as he cradled her body, hands glowing lime as he desperately tried to pour his magic into you, trying to bring the dead back to the realm of the living.

"Sir!!"

Lilia gasped for breath, coughing slightly as he attempted to blink away the tears from his eyes. How humiliating to break down, he was thousands of years old, damn it! He shouldn't be bawling his eyes like some sort of baby. Yet, here he was.

"Erm- hello?"

He turned to face you, a surprised gasp escaping him.

"My dear, I'm so sorry you had to see me in that state." He leaped to his feet before bowing. His cheeks burned at the pure embarrassment he was feeling. "I assure you, I am not always like that."

You awkwardly clasped your hands together.

"Are you okay?" You repeated. You shuffled your feet, looking down. Suddenly, the ground seemed so interesting to you. "It's just- you seemed so sad. So lonely."

Lilia paused, before raising an arm to pat your shoulder. The ebony-black words on his wrist stopped him in his tracks immediately. All his life, his wrists were bare of words. Since when did they appear?!

"Y/N...L/N?" He muttered out in confusion as you snapped your head up.

"Yeah?"

Awkward silence rang in the air. Lilia stepped forward, hands trembling as he pointed to your wrist.

"M-may I?"

You blinked at him again before shrugging. "No clue what you're looking for, but okay...?"

Lilia tugged the ceremonial robes away from your wrist before he laughed, half in relief while the other half could similar to hysteria. There, written as plain as day, was his name in neat cursive.

Perhaps his prayer had been heard. He thanked any deity that he had been blessed with a soulmate.

"What on earth?" You gaped at the words on your wrist. As far as you knew, you never got a tattoo! You were sure of it! Why was everything happening so weirdly; first you woke up almost being boiled alive by some strange tanuki and now this-

Before you got the chance to speak another word, Lilia fell to his knees, head bowed as he pressed a kiss to your inner wrist. You felt your heart flutter.

"I waited for you my entire life," Lilia looked up into your eyes, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. "and you were worth every minute."

A soulmate for him...his own soul glowed brightly once more. For once, the crimson-stained memories were pushed aside as he abruptly swept you into a dip, charmingly grinning at you.

"My love, I am Lilia Vanrouge. But for you, I'll be anything you ask for. You could break my heart into tiny little pieces, and I'd still pick them up and put them back in your hands. Because you're worth it. No matter what."

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

Somewhere in the Opening Ceremony, a young girl with long ebony hair and purple eyes smirked secretively, tucked behind one of the numerous pillars scattered in the room. Her mission, to unite Lilia Vanrouge and yourself, was completed; she had no other reason to stay in this world. Yet, Raven Leonidas King stared around her, a painful tugging in her chest as she met the eyes of the characters she loved. The smirk on her face slowly melted into a sad expression. Her life in the outside realm couldn't even be the happiness she feels in Twisted Wonderland. She had no reason to stay since her duty was completed, but she had no reason to go. In fact, she desperately wanted to cling to the magic of this world she loved oh so much.

The rules dictated it so. She had to leave. Her black wrist watched beeped as her time slowly came to an end. Raven let out a painful sigh before taking one last look at all the characters and the world she loved. Raven reluctantly turned on her feet, disappearing in a wave of purple. Similar to a certain dragon fae's magic, the only thing left of Raven was purple butterflies who slowly flew out of the chamber, leaving no trace of the student.

"Wasn't there supposed to be one more student joining us?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about, dorm leader."

#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland oneshots #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #soulmate au #soulmate #thewordsonmywrist...raven

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arts-n-science · 6 months ago

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Hey. I don't know who else wants to hear this other than me, and I just felt like saying this because of some recent stuff going on but:

Being gay is not a sin. Love is not a sin. Wanting love should not be a sin. Love is not defined by our parts, and whether or not they fit with one another. Love goes beyond our physical parts. Love is not based on our bodies, our biology or any of our physical parts. Love is a choice– a choice to give up your heart, your mind, and your soul to the person you love. It a choice to sacrifice on both ends to sacrifice their pride, their time, and even their wants in order to keep each other safe, and help each other grow.

There is very little that seperates man and woman other than biology, and even then there are valid exceptions to that. Love is a matter of the mind and the heart, not a matter of biology or reproductive parts. Even if you were to try and argue, and say something like, "Love and Marriage have both a unitive and procreative purpose, you need both in order for it to be considered good," you would still be reducing love down to parts by saying that giving your all for someone is not enough; all because you are the same gender, or all because you have the incorrect parts.

God gave us the ability to love, and everything given to us by God is good– which makes love an inherently good thing. Why would we restrict that? Why would we restrict people of the same gender who chose to make those necessary sacrifices, who made those difficult yet necessary decisions, and go through so many hardships for the sake of that love? Isn't that love good enough? In my opinion, saying otherwise would be a disservice not only to them, but what love represents as a whole. Love is encompassing, love is transcendent, and love looks beyond how a person appears, and sees a person for who they are in their heart. Love goes beyond our outer shells, and that is what makes it beautiful.

– A closeted, bisexual Christian Catholic

(P.S– Pedophilia and Zoophilia is not love because there is no choice on both ends, it is purely one-sided and exploitative. Animals and children cannot make the sacrifices and difficult decisions that love requires. Please do not compare genuine love to such things.)

#lgbtqia

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mariasabanahabanabana · 1 year ago

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FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABT T.S: did you, Raza, guys, my people, know that Taylor Swift is an actual superhero? Cause she saved me

Or well, at least for me is...

For some time now I've been a fan of Taylor Swift or as I usually name her "la wera" (the Blondy) and over the years, because yes, I have been in the fandom for more than a year, I have heard on several occasions the phrase "actually, T.S has a song that explains it", but, (at least me) not so much the phrase "in fact Taylor Swift saved me", so... On this beautiful rainy winter dawn i come to tell you how "Reputation" saved my life...

And yeah, I'm sharing this now cause of the upcoming recording of Reputation and before someone comes to tell me "but how do you know?" Mijin (nickname that we also use in Mexico to refer to Taylor or Swifitie), It's a matter of dates, start doing the math... And probably when the album comes out I'll go into some kind of regression and feel a little unwell...

And well you prob will say: "Why should I care?" (I'm kinda defensive today, r?) And yeash, but this is my blog and if I want to publish a photo of a sausage or my story of surviving my blue period, I'm gonna do it, period. (Sorry for the rudeness, I swear I'm not like that most of the time. [guess so])

Anyway, as Bad Bunny would say, storytime my people.... Or something like that, I'm not a big fan of him....

Well you see, at the same time that Tay was being attacked by the media, fans and basically the "whole world", su servidora (me) wasn't having the best time either, I was in "secundaria", which in USA and Canada is highschool (or to be more specific, 7th-8th grade), so if hormones weren't enough of a problem, add massive hatred, Unrequited crush, two sexual assaults, bulliyng, a fight, a nearly broken ankle, cyber bullying and, as icing on the cake, multiple visits to mental hospitals for various mental and eating disorders 😀👍

Since it was a super dense year (in the bad sense of the word) I'll just give a quick context, but I think the above already makes the point.

Haters gonna hate¿?: private school + people from "high" economic strata + hegemonic white people + (I know this is going to sound like an exaggeration, but I swear it's true) ONLY NON-HEGEMONIC BRUNOWN GIRL= years of bullying - racist attacks - consecutive xenophobes.

And Yep, I'm now aware that I'd have defended myself by hitting, insulting or Go with a professor, but first and foremost, as I said, I was the only girl of colour in my class and one of the few in the school. (was mixed / coeducational, but before that it was male, so it was the most predominant gender), Therefore, hitting or verbally attacking others WAS NOT, NOR IS NOR WILL IT continue to be an option, Secondly, teachers in Mexico suck, not all of them, but most of them, and the ones I had to deal with were, and I went to a Private school, third and last, I was never taught to defend myself, because they (mom, granma, church and the Bible) said that attacking your neighbour (or whoever) was a sin and at that time religion had "some importance in my life", in fact I still find it difficult to defend myself....

Unrequited crush: In short, my crush fell in love with my friend, who knew about my feelings towards him, so with the massive hatred that I already carried, I was considered the "slut" from school, at the age of 14 💀💀💀

Sex assault: The first one was a bet that a WHITE girl made with her friend, it happened in the middle of English class and again I didn't do anything and apparently "nobody noticed" and if they did I don't think they wanted to get involved in a problem with the school - class slut

And the second was when I went to get my physics homework checked, Let's just say that wearing pants doesn't exempt you from being handled like fruit in a market. (It's my trauma, it's my story and I will make whatever jokes I want and Decide)

Bullying: I wasn't pretty, my Reputation was on the floor, they bothered me about my crush, I had some kind of accent, Not much to say about it.

Fight: To date this has been the PENDEJA (DUMB) reason to start a fight... A (ex) friend invited me to the Justin Bieber concert (you can see how old I am and this story is), but within an hour she canceled me for going with another friend (a friend who also bullied me [cancellation that I later found out was due to my bad image and the rumors that circulated about me]), then I don't know how or why but a friend that they both had in common detested me, so with the thing of the concert and my annoyance that my (ex) friend was going out with one of the many girls who bullied me, a group of girls told me that they would "make up" with me on the way out, and that was that.... They took me to the football field (the school was - it's enormous) that was at the other end of the exits and they gave me the beating of my life...

At this point you may be wondering, "but what abt your mom? what's wrong? Didn't she notice the bruises or what?" Look, An advantage - disadvantage of my skin colour is that bruises are hardly visible, so the bumps weren't visible, besides, my mother works, my grandma was her and her only function with me was to pick me up from school, feed me, "take care of me" and see that I did my homework... And my uncle - dad, well.... 🍺🍺🍺

Almost broken ankle: have you ever watched in those typical American series (e.g. Chicken Little) where everyone play dodgeball and end up throwing all the balls at one person, well, I'm the one. So in a game one of the "mean girls" (I'll call it that to shorten the term) threw a ball at my ankle when I was running and well, in those days I used to be prone to tripping.

(oigan nmmn que pinche experiencia tan qlra, ya hasta ando llorando por recordar esto, JAJAJAJAJAJA)

Cyber bullying: bullying, just like the blue sea and sky, is infinite... What I am trying to say is, that high school - puberty should not exist, as well as the access (permission) to social networks, at least during those years...

Hospital visits: okay and now what was arguably one of the hardest knocks I've ever had to go through.... Look guys, my grandma isn't the typical sweet and loving grandmother, I'd say (in my experience) that she's a mix of Ida (Malcolm in the Middle's grandmother) and Grandma from Encantó... However, OF ALL THE ADULTS, SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REALIZED THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME, cause there came a point where I only slept, I didn't even take off my uniform or do my homework and if I did, I slept the rest of the time until night, the time when my most catholic side came out, because night after night I asked, not PRAY, IMPLORE God (if there's one or exists) to take me, because I couldn't go on, I didn't want to go on, I only wanted to fall asleep and never wake up... What a merciful being he is...

One night I couldn't sleep, apart from the anxiety I had I was also dealing with tooth decay, so, being the brightest person in the county, I took almost a whole box of ibuprofen 500mg and naaaaambre, Until that point I had not felt my heart beat so fast... Not even when I was in love, I went to the nursery, they checked me and well... There, everything was revealed, my cuts, my record of constant visits (as I was just looking for an excuse to leave early) and that I was clearly suffering from an overdose. After that morning I can't remember much of what happened in the next few hours - days....

The case, I ended up hospitalized for a month, When I returned to school I was known as "Hanna Baker", that's right, the one from the series, at this point I only hung out ( eat in the Playtime ) with 3 friends... As for my "multiple hospital visits", I asked my mum to do what she could to let me out to finish the year, as there was NO FU C K I N G WAY I was gonna repeat that grade.... So they (doctor's) "agreed", signing a responsive letter and that, plus two weeks before graduation I went back, returned to school and was again interned....

Now, que porongas (what the heck) does Taylor Swift have to do with all this?? Well you see, I had heard her music before, but I wasn't the graaan fan, but between my interventions and constant outings I heard her music, specifically Rep, cause it was the year she came back and I didn't really know who she was or what she was going through, but hearing the album made me feel connected to her, her lyrics, situation and feelings (once I translated them of course). Later I looked into what was going on with their massive cancellation and well, in that moment of loneliness I felt what I needed, to know that someone understood what I was "going through".

So, if it weren't for Rep, especially my holy, Give me strength in my worst moments, Trinity, "LWYMMD, I did something bad and Don't Blame me", I probably wouldn't be here, telling this or maybe I'd, but I'll still be stuck in that hole of depression.

So in a few possible days - months not only will Reputation be released, but it will also celebrate another year of life... yeah, my "me" from before, of course Was dying slowly and cruelly (literally) in that year, 2017, but one way or another she (I) managed to come back to life.

I might be 20, In legal terms, but, I died and came back to life and currently have been 6 years without being thaaaat bad, absolutely I still take my meds, go (try) to therapy, and have been hospitalized, but (for only god knows What occasion number) no blue period compares and I hope it never compares to what I go through....

And for that strength, courage and support that @taylorswift gave me, thank you so very , very, very, much... I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you for this... This second chance and reinvention

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baldursgatethoughts · 1 year ago

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My thoughts on Baldur's Gate 3

This might just be the best RPG game ever created, and whatever you say game devs this should be a new benchmark for RPG game development! Let me touch down on some great, less great and just general experiences and thoughts around playing through this game ^_^

What they did amazing

This game feels like it took the best parts of Baldur's Gate 1 and 2, Dragon Age Origins, 2 and Inquisition, Divinity Original Sin and Witcher 3 and just made the optimal game ever.

The character creator - amazing. All the choices you need without being overly complicated. Lots of beautiful moving hair. Does not make you create your character in the green light of the Fade (looking at you DAI). 10/10.

The intro is epic and highly immersive, beautiful, scary, intense and a great introduction to the story.

The graphics and environments are STUNNING and immersive. The devs said they wanted to create an experience that is like the one you have with a group of friends going on a pen and paper adventure when it comes to environment epicness and magical story element, and they have.

The companions are insanely well written and voiced, and most importantly their personal quests are intrisincally linked to the main story in a way that almost no other of those games I listed above managed. And the multitude of characters you can enlist and get to know is perfectly diverse, and it gives you great choice when it comes to how you want your playthrough and party to be.

Going back to Dragon Age Origins and voicing everyone else but not the main character to instead focus on a multitude of choices, hooray and yes! It's wonderful!

Characters aren't gender bound in their sexuality, as a bi pan gamer I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you enabled us to create and write our own romance stories instead of making out genders the most important part of the storytelling of the game.

The music is epic and amazing, tear inducing <3 Just wow, queue on Spotify in repeat mood.

The books are great; they are never too long like they can be in Elder Scrolls games but just the perfect addon to the rest of the content to deepen the lore.

Outfits and dyes; the diversity is through the roof in all the good ways and it's not all armor bikini. Like, you can have raunchy underwear and bikini dress if you want to (late game, for gold) but there is all kinds of armor and outfits for all kinds of characters and needs and it's just so in line with the lore of the world. Thank you!

What I would have liked improved

A way for us to actually hear the companions banter even though we are not exactly over them with the camera. I have missed at least 80% of the banter because you have to zoom out to create a path to walk for them. The party banter needs it's own volume setting and it needs to be heard no matter where your camera is.

Inventory management; more bags with autosort, and much better "Sort by type" sorting (the dyes where all over the place o.O) and and less times the sorting bugs out. Also the possibility to sort according to the unsual themes in the vendor screen. Perhaps even a subcategory of buttons for "armor, weapons, potions, books" and so on.

Better warnings when you are about to cast another concentration skill while already concentrating on something.

There was one NPC I honestly disliked very much that I felt broke the immersion and it is the bloated bartender son in Act 2. It was full on modern Resident Evil vibes and not at all a very Dungeons & Dragons type of character. Nope nope. That whole area was just weird, far too modern in comparison to the rest of the game.

A photo mode, naturally.

Bugs that screwed with my game

A bug that makes the character portraits go black or weird if you do not have your graphical settings on ultra for everything, please fix that one Larian!

Shadowhearts friend disappeared, rip.

A romance scene was deleted due to too many long rest cutscenes getting stacked on each other, and it put me into a fight with steel watchers instead.

The city houses in Act three constantly loaded their objects way before their walls which messed with countless cutscenes where the only background was the sky and a floating bed. I really hope they can fix this so the walls are loaded first.

My journey through the game

Act 1 is amazingly well polished and filled with exploration, wonder and well balanced magical content.

The game's incredible way of letting you choose whatever way you want to do things is both a blessing and a curse. It makes for wonderful content; you can sneak, persuade, kill everyone, you can be good, evil, chaotic, neutral, wise, stupid, decieving or intimidating, you can miss whole quest lines, areas and characters, or you can stumble into the most obscure little nooks with lore tidbits. It's daunting, and really cool that they give you so little guidance and so many options. The openness and vague nature of the Journal - akin to the original games - are sometimes a fun challenge and sometimes for me too scary to handle.

Just because you can never be sure if your choices lead to what you want or the death of everyone making choices can be a bit too scary for me sometimes and I find myself relying on guides to be able to choose. Not optimal, but that's mostly down to personal preference. In those moments I long for the railroaded stories of Mass Effect, but those moments with more railroaded questlines are also there in BG3 and they are amazing.

Act 2 was honestly really scary, the atmosphere was completely different and they did an amazing job creating a frightening cursed land. The only "weird" thing here for me is how very "steampunk" the game turns, which continues into Act 3 as well, which is a testament to the whole American and D&D view on fantasy settings. It is what it is, I'm just not a fan of that kind of setting mixing.

I also developed a fear of long resting here somewhere because I had quests that failed when going to the camp or resting and there is like no telling what those are so I just started doing as much as I could between rests which made the cutscenes during the rests go haywire and fight with each other.

Act 3 had an amazing beginning, and fun well crafted areas. The performance was terrible and kinda buggy due to the many NPC:s and assets in the area. The villains and their quests and areas were great!

I think I did some personal quests a bit early while I should have waited until I was a higher level, they were pretty punishing. When I reached level 12 with a gazillion summons nothing was really difficult anymore.

In the end I had basically every ally possible (except for Astarion's vampire buddys T_T) but I only used the strange ox and dame Aylin, who survived, and iron hand gnomes and city guards (who were killed by mind flayer arcanists) since I don't want people to die.

THE ENDING...

What the heck Larian, that's not ok. No reasonable closure on my romance, no tale of what happens to everyone, I just got a cutscene with Karlach and some lines from Gale. I really hope they are working on expanding on this as we speak and there are some indications that they are.

It wasn't full on "Mass Effect 3 at launch" but not too far from it. I am disappoint... And on that note:

My romance experience

It started amazing with both Astarion and Shadowheart, beautiful stories both. Up until the ending of Act 1 it was amazing and peachy pie. During Act 2 not much happens at all, except for Astarion breaking up with me over a drow and her blood. The horror... I had to break up with Shadowheart to be with Astarion, and at least we could kiss.

But that was about it, the only thing after that until the end of the game was the main personal quest of that character - where I missed a whole part because I couldn't find his siblings - and I did that waaay too soon, and I chose the soft ending which just made him sad and brooding and then there was nothing except for him slut shaming me when I slept with the incubus and scenes bugging out, as well as no real ending.

It started so well, and it ended with emptiness and sadness. Apparently he also has new voice lines during the final fight that I missed T_T

Rip.

In conclusion

Amazing game, 9/10 until they patch the ending and pace the cut scenes during long rests better and make the lower city less laggy. I am perfectly confident in that within a year all this will have happened and there will be no games able to rival this one in the scope of epicness and emotion <3

#baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #tav #larian #baldurs gate iii #romance #bugs #my experiences #my playthrough #game of the year #i love this game #goty #ending

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jinkieswouldyoulookatthis · 1 year ago

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Here are my bookmarked wincest fics, the ones I keep going back to to read over and over. They are all Mature/Explicit, read the tags and warnings...

Ergonomic by sobrecogimiento

(This is a crack fic but it's also insanely good.)

Summary:

Dean sees an advertisement for Sam's preferred brand of boxers, which claim that they're designed for those well-endowed in the genital area. Following this, Dean spends an inordinate amount of time obsessing over whether Sam's dick is bigger than his, and then just obsessing over Sam's dick.

Eyes Like Strange Sins by ZionSunrise

Summary:

After the events of Swan Song, Castiel pulls Sam's soul out of his body before he can be dragged into the Cage and temporarily throws him in Dean's body for safe keeping. With a tight deadline to get Sam's body back, cramped living quarters, and long-held secrets that are harder to keep when you're sharing your skin, the Winchesters somehow find their way together.

Anything by applecrumbledore

But the following really stood out for me...

I have to live here - Sad at first, stick with it.

Worthless cartography - Will make you cry for days but is the most beautiful thing!

Pine sweat - SOOOOOOO GOOD. READ THIS ONE!!!

the constant vow by deadlybride

This is a gender bend/fuck or die full blown novel, allow yourself some time for this one. But it is AMAZING!

A Matter of Time by intrepidheart

Summary:

Sam leaves Dean a voicemail where he names the one thing they were never supposed to name between them. Well, names it as well as one possibly can in a drunk dial. The chain of events and ongoing game of telephone tag that follows dredges up some old memories and feelings that Dean's been fighting for a while now, and he'd really rather not fucking deal with any of that, thanks very much. Then Dean gets careless and everything comes to a head. After all, it was only a matter of time.

The Every First Time series by ani_coolgirl

First time wincest fics for every episode of Supernatural, plus pre- and post-series. Each fic stands alone. Not all of these will be rated E as I'm defining "first time" as first romantic interaction (or even just a confession), not necessarily first time having sex. They (should) all have a low word count and all are un-betaed.

Demonic Junkies series by KarleeKarma

Demon!Dean gets Sam addicted to his blood but then gets cured of being a demon so Sam has to detox again and it gets bad. This one is fucking dark. Please read the tags and warnings before you start reading. This is a work in process, but is still being updated regularly and is mostly posted.

I saved the best for last...

And last but definitely not least, this one is still a work in progress, but what has been posted is complete enough that it doesn't leave you hanging and Phyn says the next bit is almost done and should be posted in the next couple months or so, but it is still the best fucking thing I think I've ever read...

Desiderata by Dyed_Red

Summary:

Dean is hit with a curse. It shouldn’t take that much to resolve, could be a gift under other circumstances, but life’s not that simple for the Winchesters.

I need your assistance, friends! I have been looking for some good Wincest Fanfiction lately-

-but can't find any that are good good. I have a day off tomorrow and I want to roll in some delicious, amazingly written wincest goodness. Could you please give me some recommendations? ♥️ 🙏🙂

Thank you so much in advance! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

#wincest fic rec #wincest #I don't know how fast you read but this list alone will keep you busy for probably at least a week

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thisiswhereifall · 5 years ago

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Maybe it's because Dazai dresses like a homeless person, or maybe it was a bad idea to suddenly want to start a family in the middle of a probably-temporary-but-hopefully-permanent-truce, but Chuuya, in all of his humanity, found yet another reason to fight for the peace of their city.

Still, Nakahara Chuuya, feared Port Mafia Executive, vessel to Arahabaki The God Of Calamity, Lord of Destruction, The Chaotic, and gravity manipulator, would never, in what little logic he has left (because he swears he loses more brain cells the more he spends time with his goddamn mackerel wife) entrust choosing his baby girl's clothes to Dazai Osamu, master manipulator, damned mackerel, Youngest Mafia Executive in all of History, and most importantly, wife to Nakahara Chuuya.

Although it had been a pain in the ass -- everything involving Dazai is a pain to all body parts -- to convince her not to throw away the hat, she finally gave in -- a miracle, really, because Dazai Osamu never gives in - but not before whining and complaining about her daughter getting bald spots at such a young age or staying the same height for all eternity.

("No, you bastard, we are not making her walk around town wearing fucking bandages, fuck--")

("But, Chuuya! I don't want my little sweetie's brains to be swallowed by such a tacky hat!")

Needless to say, it wasn't easy even years ago, back when Dazai would spend all their nights crying, the anxiety of not being able to be a good mother, not human enough to have kids of her own, would crash into her brain like waves threatening to drown her before she could even throw herself down a nearby river. Chuuya had to make extra efforts to make his beloved feel even more beloved than she already is.

After all, Dazai sucked at staying alive, but it only took another life to be living inside her to keep her from attempting to throw away hers.

And she survived. They survived the nine months together, and both of them had never felt so human and so domestic.

Also, Kunikida made a mental note to keep the kid safe and healthy when both parents do something stupid like they always do, assuming that said kid won't grow up doing stupid things, as well.

And Chuuya will never admit it, but he dotes so much on his two girls, he cries when the uwu is too strong.

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bylerchoseme · 2 years ago

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God is a God of a judgment and a holy God. It doesn’t matter what you think is cute or how willing you are to stretch the bounds of what a relationship should be. Homosexuality is a sin. He judges all and sees all and doesn’t care what you think about it. And facts don’t care about your feelings. And even if you take God out of the equation, it’s unnatural/biologically incoherent. Byler will never happen AND it is evil, no matter how cute it looks on the surface. And mike loves El, which he made clear when he said it 8 times. Have fun with your fanfiction though, I guess

Are you the same anon from earlier? It seems like it. I think you are actually. I am so delighted you decided to message me again because I have more things to say to you. Thanks for going out of your way to tell me everything wrong about Byler and same sex genders in general. You must be my biggest fan! :)

God is judging you right now and always for being a homophobic a*sshole. He is judging you for not letting same gender people love their own gender. He is judging you for sending hate messages. He is judging you for not loving everyone regardless of their sexuality. God is judging you for all of the things wrong with you. Do you really want to bring religion into this? Is that a clever and smart idea? Go for it. You’ll lose. I guarantee it. Homosexuality isn’t a sin for your information. Do you know what is a sin? Homophobia is a sin. Your hatred of Queer people is a sin. A sin is what you are. You’re the definition of sin. Take it as you will. I don’t think you’ll ever outgrow your immaturity and ignorance. You are what you preach. Take it however you want. You have serious issues. Maybe seek some help? Keep that in mind. You do need help. If you can’t help yourself, nobody can help you and absolutely no one. God loves everyone. He cares much less what you think. You’re entire paragraph is a lie.

What if I said being gay is the most natural thing in the world? What if I told you being gay is the most beautiful love in existence? What if I said being gay makes more sense than any straight relationship? What then? What will you do about it? I love gay people. I love all LGBTQ people. I am not a toxic hater such as yourself. I am not a miserable person like you. I don’t have the time and patience to judge people for who they love. Love is love. That’s a fact. If you’re not gay, good for you. If you’re not lesbian, good for you. If you’re not bisexual, good for you. If you don’t associate with the LGBTQ community, good for you. We don’t need you. We never have needed and never will need you. Go cry a river.

The more you convince yourself Byler won’t happen, chances are they will happen. Keep lying to yourself. You have two years to do that. Time will fly by in a blink and then you’ll cry and scream because Mike and Will became boyfriends and later husbands. 2024 won’t be a happy time for you. You obviously don’t know love. You can’t comprehend the meaning of true and real love. Mike can say he loves Eleven every second and even then he doesn’t love her. Mike is in love with Will. He loved him before he knew Eleven. He loved him while he was with Eleven. He will love Will after the inevitable M*leven break up. He will love Will when they’re together. Mike will love Will for all of eternity. He will love him in the afterlife. He will love him for a zillion lifetimes.

You’ll find out about Byler the hard way.

Here is Byler in love:

#byler #stranger things 4 #stranger things #duffer brothers

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unitako-agency · 2 years ago

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𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒲𝒶𝒾𝓉

Tatsumi Kazehaya x Gender Neutral Demon! MC (Angst Fic) ✦

Word Count: 1.5k

A demon whose in love with a priest is a sin unimaginable in hell, and a sentiment worth burying in the ground to never be seen again. Would it hurt you more to leave the one you love? Or to come back and see they’ve wanted more?

You’ve lived for centuries, a millennia even, and it's all the same boring thing. Humans asking for power, for money, for godly beauty, for fame, all things driven by greed and desperation. Boredom is not a strong enough word to describe how you feel about humanity. Some are more interesting though, like this one priest you’ve been stalking for a week now. Why are you even stalking him in the first place? He’s great at sensing evil presence, and you’ve almost been caught multiple times. He seems so dedicated to his work as a pastor, that he’s so wary of you, yet also observing where you are, hand closely near a bottle of holy water he started to carry as of lately. He probably thinks you want to take his soul, when really, you just find him eye-catching. With those minty jade locks, slim figure, and adorable moles under his eye. You hate to admit it but, you’ve grown quite smitten with the pastor.

It was this particular evening though that things went horribly, the priest was doing his normal rounds in the backyard, you hidden near the bushes and trees of the forest. He looks so serene and beautiful, the moonlight’s glow on his face made him look like an angel, almost like a reminder that what you’re feeling is forbidden, but you’re a demon so does it really matter? All of your existence should be forbidden, and your identity and emotions are invalid, because you’re always a monster to everyone. You were lost in your thoughts, that you didn’t even notice the priest directly in front of you. “Ah-” “I would appreciate you leaving this place, you’re tainting the purity of God.” Not hesitating, he splashed some holy water on you, which made you shriek in pain. “Your words sting more than that holy water” “...” He only looked at you, unimpressed and almost annoyed. “Leave.” “W-wait! I just want to know your name.” “Please leave-” “If you tell me your name I promise I won’t do anything that can and will affect your church.” “..Tatsumi”, the pastor then walked away, not bothering to wait for your reply.

The next few weeks went on like usual, Tatsumi would do his rounds at the church backyard and you just watch him, still hidden but you’re not so afraid of getting caught anymore. He never tries to talk to you, and all conversations you had with him were initiated by you. He’s probably irritated by your persistence, but you can be selfish right? This particular evening you thought of asking him about the church. “Hey Tatsumi, why does this church seem so important to you?”, the young man stopped and thought for a bit, before responding. “This is my family’s church, I swore to protect it and take care of it just like how my father did.” You stayed silent, thinking about his words. “Well, I suppose I can try to protect you while you protect this church.” Tatsumi looks at you unimpressed once again, every time you try to tease or flirt with him, his reaction never changes. “How about you?” “Huh?” “How did you end up as an evil being?” “Ah..” You smiled at Tatsumi, not knowing how to respond. “You always ask me about my life, but I don’t know anything about you, I just know you’re a demon.-” He looked at the moon, “I should’ve purged you long ago, but I ended up entertaining you, so as compensation, tell me about your past.”

Your past, you remember it clearly like a sunny day. Despite being so long ago, it still hurts to think about it. “My past.. I grew up in a small village, lived a simple life. Helped my parents and supported my brother with his passion. One day, a bunch of thieves ransacked our home, but things got heated. I was the only one who successfully hid, and I heard my family scream and yell in pain as they got murdered.” You looked at Tatsumi, who remained unfazed. “Weeks, I couldn’t sleep, my family’s cry for help always woke me up at night, and the voices of their killers haunted my life. When I heard from the city that they’ve been caught, I couldn’t resist. I snuck in at night, and killed them all one by one.” You looked at him again, but he’s not looking at you, he’s now looking wistfully into the horizon. “Look Tatsumi, I told you, I have no intention of hurting you. I knew what I did was horrible, and I know my parents are probably disappointed in what I did. All I wish is that-” “You can stay, but if you do something-” “I won’t Tatsumi, I just need someone to talk to, just.. just to keep me entertained, immortality is horrible. Especially after what I did.”

To your surprise, Tatsumi did talk to you more, he asked about your past, and rarely about how you live now as a different creature. He never gives his opinions, and only comments on your lifestyle on some occasions, but you felt like he’s your friend. Sometimes, he would even sit beside you, though not too close. You definitely caught him without his holy water, but never pointed it out. Your feelings grew of course, and frankly, you’ve accepted that you’re in love with him. “Hey Tatsumi” “Hm?” “What do you say if I asked you to be a demon like me?” “No.” You laughed looking at his reaction. Always so serious and so on guard when you’re not even doing anything. “Why are you asking? You know I’d turn it down.” “Because I’d be lonely without you.” “You do not need me to keep you company, I’m not your friend, demon.” “Aw, you really do hurt me Tatsumi.” He looked at you, and you smile at him despite really feeling hurt at what he said.

You looked at the moon again, you’ve stayed with him for months now, you know you’re never going to be together, never gonna be in love with each other, and you’re only gonna be more depressed when he dies and you’re there. “Thank you Tatsumi.” “..For what?” ‘For reminding me what my human life could’ve been.-” You looked down, “I never felt like this before. My past only makes me feel horrible, but because of you, I feel like I finally know what would’ve happened if I wasn’t led astray by my emotions.” You paused, tears forming in your eyes. “I would’ve made friends, would’ve healed and moved on..-” You couldn’t stop your emotions anymore, and your tears started to stain your cheeks. “Would’ve.. felt love and loved back. I finally feel like I lived a good life.” Tatsumi never spoke, and you both stayed silent for a while. You knew this would be the last day you see him.

Tatsumi started his night routine as usual when he couldn’t feel your presence. Were you late? Did something come up? The priest sighed, continuing his task. Days went by, and he stopped sensing your presence all together. It felt so.. wrong, having no one strike a conversation with him, no one asking about his life, no one teasing him and laughing at his reactions. Did he say something wrong? Did you finally get tired of him? He hoped not. The days turned to weeks and into months until it became years. The once young man is now old, alone and frail. All that time, he kept waiting for you, even praying that you’d be there and he’ll sense you again. But you never came, he never heard your voice again. He was now on his deathbed, gasping for air as his lungs started to fail him, and yet, his only wish was to see you again. His last days were spent looking at the window, maybe he’ll see you hidden in the bushes, maybe your presence would give it away. But as he took his final breath, he never saw your figure again.

Its been a few centuries now, you decided to visit the local church whose priest you fell in love with. When you got there, the church was abandoned, the inside was unkept, vines taking over the walls, and the greenery was going out of control. When you got inside though, you saw a skeleton lying on a bed, looking through the window. You found an old note in its bedside drawer, it reads; I never knew why you left, and I never knew your name, I never knew that we’d be close, and I never knew we’d only have a short amount of time before fate separates us apart. To the demon who kept me company, I only wished we spent more time together, so we could be friends. If you will not meet me again in my mortal life, perhaps I can see you again in the afterlife, and we’d finally have all the time we need, but until then, I’ll stay in this sacred place, and await for your return. You smiled bitterly at the note, then looked at the skeleton. Maybe if things we’re different, you two could’ve been together.

#tatsumi kazehaya #enstars #enstars x reader #ensemble stars #kazehaya tatsumi #tatsumi kazehaya x reader #kazehaya tatsumi x reader #the salt agency

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usaghinanami99 · 1 year ago

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I agree with the general sentiment, although I’d like to clarify that the line you're mentioning was not at all added by the Crystal screewriter but taken straight from the manga source, and in both cases Michiru doesn't actually state that Haruka is neither woman nor man, but rather that she possesses the peculiar strenghts and characteristics of both sexes, which is something else entirely - yes, it's still a concept deriving from an underlying sexist worldview, but it does not say that Haruka's sex is anything but female in the slightest. Not that it could be any other way, since otherwise she wouldn't be able to transform into a Sailor Warrior to begin with, lol! Btw, if you want there are two official sources from Word of God herself clarifying Haruka's sex and the nature of HaruMichi's relationship to the (pretty dense) Western audience, which should logically qualm any doubts from even the most fervent gender cultist: http://www.kicie.net/realm/naoko.htm (interview given by Takeuchi to an Italian magazine) and https://www.tuxedounmasked.com/what-information-did-naoko-share-with-american-sailor-moon-fans/ (in-person encounter she had with US fans). While yes, some of the comments she makes imply some sort of non-aggressive sexism and lesbophobia, by the gendies' standards they would be committing the ultimate sin if they kept on claiming that Haruka is something else than what her very author has very openly stated she is and "identifies" as! :O As a side note, the type of censorship the first English dub decided to go with will never not be funny to me... They could have made them "just friends" like literally any other non-Japanese dub had done (although to be fair, in the French dub Frédérique does pretend to be Mylène's boyfriend when she's posing as Frédéric, they're still not girlfriends in real life), but no, they had to go the extra mile and create a family connection just to be extra sure the kids wouldn't be confused! 'xD Imo it's too bad the English dub didn't reach the final season, because I'm curious about what they would've done with the Starlights' sex change (a dumb anime-only change that goes against the very basis of Takeuchi's lore, but never mind) and whether or not it could've topped the silliness of the Italian dub about that matter. But alas, we were denied that chance.

Imo the worst thing about all this "Sailor Moon is the highest feminist masterpiece" nonsense is that most of the fans saying this actually believe it from their heart... for the very good reason that they know close to nothing about real feminism, so they equate it with all the super-liberal, empoweringTM and pro-beauty standards ideals that Takeuchi seemingly supports and shows through her oeuvre. And yeah, there are absolutely some great messages for young girls to be learnt from reading SM, but they're counterbalanced by the negative ones. There's no reason to claim otherwise when the text is very open and unapologetic about what it preaches, but the problem with these people is that they can't accept not being the purest of all, and they want all the authors they like to comply with their woldview (hence lying about the fact that Takeuchi secretly agreed with their gendie theories about her characters). I say this all too often, but I promise you can love The Lion King without supporting absolute monarchy. 😭

Lol, no worries - I am super monogamous when it comes to my shipping choices and I don't like seeing Usaghi being paired up with anyone who isn't Mamoru, but you do you of course, as anyone else. I draw the line at people who ship her with Demand, but obviously no feminist would do that, lol. And I'm sorry for writing all this wall of text in response to your concise post, but I'll never stop being a hopeless logorroic. 😅

[Edited because, after almost a decade on Tumblr, I've still got troubles posting hyperlinks.]

I know, right?!? Every day it seems like the SM fandom is filled with more and more gendies who claim stuff like how Haruka isn't actually a woman or worse... And what's more, this is far from being the most deranged take I've seen recently, especially now that June has started. But then they'll turn around and claim that SM is actually the pinnacle of feminism in manga, when it's so clearly liberal-leaning and pro-beauty standards that it's anything but. What can I say, the sane people have to stick together! While to be honest I have to say that I don't share your shipping opinions in the slightest, I'd always admire a "rival" like you more than a shipmate who's also a hardcore TQ+ cultist. Sorry if my English isn't exactly the best, I hope I can convey what I want to all the same. ^^

I was absolutely devastated that in Crystal they seriously added the line 'Haruka isn't a man or a woman.' Like... sorry, no. If that was the case then why the hell did Michiru and Haruka get that awful "they're cousins" treatment for the western localization in the OG anime 🙄

I swear ....claiming that SM is a "feminist" work has to do with the fact that people don't want to admit that they enjoy things that aren't politically "pure". Because in their minds it would reflect on who they are as a person, and if something they enjoy isn't perfect, then they aren't either. Tbh I think there's a lot of unchecked narcissistic behavior in fandom communities as a whole 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh GOSH. My shipping is a mess !! LMAOOO. I should be ashamed of it but I'm so shameless🤣 Tbh i recently started shipping Usagi with practically everyone 😭🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm ©onflicted, that's for sure

but hell yeah, shipping wars be damned, female solidarity til death >:] 😂😂

and omg no, don't even worry! I had no idea English wasn't your first language from your ask!! your message got across Crystal (🤭) clear ♥️

#not tagging it to avoid death threats #wouldn't be the first time in this fandom for these reasons

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mochi-ficz · 4 years ago

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the boyz' bedroom roles

how i imagine the boyz' role(s) when making love with you

it's me, your favorite horny bastard with something else tbz related because honestly?? i'm just a slut for tbz fanfiction as of recent. obviously, these are all strictly my opinions, but i feel like i should clarify that anyways. these are all genderless because gender is a social construct 😌 moving on

genre: smut, some fluff in certain parts

includes mentions of (oh god this is going to be a long list): praise kink, degradation kink, pet names, bdsm, torture, dacryphilia, brat taming, experimentalism, exhibitionism, brief mention of a threesome, cockwarming, cock slapping, sex toys, restraints, marking, forced submission, somnophilia, casual sex, vanilla sex, teasing, wax play, blindfolds, orgasm denial, cum eating, spit swallowing, spanking/whipping, katoptronophilia, face sitting, edging, overstimulation, milking

i think that's all the mentions/warnings, please let me know if you noticed i missed something!

a/n: the gifs are just some of my favorites, i really don't have a theme for them lol.

sangyeon!

i feel like it goes without saying at this point, if you follow me or keep up with me at all, you know i worship the idea of this man being a service top. i will continue to live under the belief that sangyeon is the service top.

my reasoning being that sangyeon is very warm and caring, and would love to please you any way he can, including sexually. sangyeon is so eager to please, and will cater to your every need accordingly. if you want him to be your little pain slut, he's more than willing. if you want him to fuck you senseless until you can barely form sentences and can't even remember what was troubling you to begin with, he'll do that too.

sangyeon truly lives to make you happy. this baby loves to be rewarded though, so please be sure to praise him for doing such a good job, and reward him with plenty of kisses and cuddles. it's also a reward for you because you get to see his angelic smile.

jacob!

honestly, i see jacob as a switch. i think jacob would be the perfect angelic sub, taking the pain you give him and taking your cock (whether fake or real) so well. jacob would look absolutely beautiful with tears decorating his cheeks, eyes glossed over with pleasure.

however, this little bitch is also a very good dom. any trace of that angelic sub i mentioned previously is gone. jacob is naturally musically inclined and would love to hear your beautiful voice scream his name as he drives you wild.

he loves to try new things with you as well, regardless of who is receiving it. honestly, you each feed off each other's happiness, and at the end of the day, jacob is still satisfied knowing you're happy as well.

please just be respectful with him, and treat him like the king he is. jacob knows his worth and won't settle for being used.

younghoon!

ABSOLUTE ANGEL. younghoon would be an amazing sub, despite being very large and looking somewhat intimidating at first. younghoon loves to be pleasured and rewarded for his good behavior. sometimes he'll try to tease you, but he would end up getting embarrassed, and you'd smile down at him as you notice the cutest little pink blush settling across his cheeks.

younghoon would also look beautiful with tears streaming down his face, and making the most sinful noises for you. this sweet baby loves your touches and will cum for you as many times as you want him to.

he loves bonding with you too. in any way possible. i feel like he's the member that would be the most down for cockwarming, regardless of which of you is giving or receiving. at the end of the day, he just wants you to hold him and wipe the tears from his eyes while you tell him how pretty he is and how good a job he did.

hyunjae!

brat #1. hyunjae does not want to be your sub willingly. he'd rather die than let you take him down easily. you'll have to use force if you want to hear his pretty sounds.

in my mind, the perfect scenario is having him tied up vertically, with a bar spreading his legs. you'll approach him with a devilish smirk and ask him "are you ready for your punishment, slut?" and he'll simply respond to you with a shit-eating grin and a triumphant "go to hell." i can imagine you edging for hours, waiting for him to break, and when he does, he's like clay in your hands.

honestly this man is a slut for pain, and loves to be degraded. if you call him a worthless piece of meat— or any degrading nickname by that matter— you can expect him to be rock solid.

i feel like hyunjae would be down with somnophilia, because despite being a little bratty bitch, he also loves being taken advantage of and treated as your toy.

juyeon!

i'm going against what seems to be the majority here and saying this boy is a sub. i realize his stage presence may make him look more dominant, but once he's underneath you, that facade will vanish.

he's a good boy, very much so, and like sangyeon, he loves to please. however, sometimes when he's in the mood, he'll try to dom you, in which case you'll simply have to make him see that he could never satisfy himself like you can when you're domming him.

i feel like he may slip into sub space a bit easier than other members? so please, when you're done with him, give baby gentle cuddles. he loves your kisses, and it's so rewarding seeing him sleepy from all the pleasure, and hearing him let out a soft, content sigh into the crook of your neck as you hold him tight.

kevin!

brat #2. again, i could just leave this off here, but that wouldn't be very fun.

speaking of fun, kevin would be the best member to have casual sex with. both of you mirroring the other's dopey smile as you make love.

however, when kevin wants to be bratty, he will be the biggest pain in the ass. if you thought dealing with hyunjae was a mess, just wait for kevin. he would annoy you anytime, anywhere. moaning into your ear in public, trying to touch up your thighs, rubbing his ass against your front nonchalantly, while you silently get infuriated.

kevin loves being punished, and loves to be marked up. be sure to fulfill his wishes, or he'll find even more clever and devious stunts to pull on you so you have no choice but to mark him up and punish him.

new!

do i even need to say it?

this man is such a little slut, and no, i will not be taking any criticism. he loves to look pretty for you, including cross dressing, and be treated like a prince. new has a massive praise kink, and would love to be told he looks and sounds beautiful.

he would also love to have hickeys on his neck and be marked. he sees himself as a piece of art, and each mark you give him just seems to add to his beauty. he's no stranger to rough sex, but he prefers you to be gentler and treat him like the beautiful doll he is.

did i mention he's also a crier? he's so sensitive, when you work him up enough, he'll just sob and make the most beautiful, yet pornographic sounds. he loves you to play with his sensitive nipples too.

some of his favorite things to do is play with wax and/or be blindfolded. you wouldn't mind, because with your marks on him and hot wax dripping down his front, he would look gorgeous.

changmin would make an excellent power bottom.

his neck is literally made for marking up, so please take advantage of that. he's also one kinky little fucker, and loves to try new things. he would even be open to a threesome.

he likes praise and degradation, so if you call him things like "my slutty little prince," you can have him wrapped around your finger just like that.

he loves when you let him do what he wants with you, he has so many fantasies he wants to try. including sex in public. his dream is to be shoved up against a wall and fucked senseless, knowing that anyone could walk by and see him getting railed by you.

another one is you slapping his cock and denying him. he's no stranger to pain and would absolutely love for you to torture him. he loves bdsm and honestly any kind of toy or torture method he sees or hears about will immediately become something he wants to try.

as kinky as he is, he also needs to be reassured that you love him, so soft, passionate sex is also something he loves to do with you. he'll get shy looking into your loving eyes, and hide his face with his hands, but you can tell by the flush on the tips of his ears that he's embarrassed.

changmin is the king of duality, but at the end of the day, please love him. he loves to know you're his and he's yours.

juhaknyeon!

honestly with haknyeon, i'm not sure! i feel like he would be a switch as well. maybe one of those "freak in the sheets, normal in the streets" type of deals?

i feel like his love for food extends to the bedroom, and he would definitely swallow cum or spit for you if you asked him. he's open to try many things, and he's very sweet. honestly he just loves being happy with you, so just about anything is fine with him.

i love his smile and his laugh, and it's very contagious, so please make sure to make him do so often. he brightens up a room instantly.

sunwoo!

slut. slut for pain, slut for you, just a straight up slut. if he's committed to you and trusts you, he loves to be your kinky little bitch.

of course, he takes the spot of brat #3, but because he can't control himself, it won't take much torture before he begs for you to use him. he loves being degraded.

if you let him top you, you're getting railed, this boy has no self control, and just wants all the pleasure to himself. it's because of this that he's a master at eating you out when you ride his face. he wants to pleasure you as much as possible to get the best reward. he looks gorgeous with his hair all messy, his pillowy lips hitting all the right spots in and around your hole (or holes).

he's amazing with his tongue, and he's also very good at begging, knowing just what to say to make you give him what he wants. if you stand any chance of taming this brat, you'll need a lot of self control.

when you do give him what he wants, overstimulate him or milk him. take all of him and use him like the slut he is, he can't get enough of it. sex with sunwoo can and should be messy.

he also loves being spanked, and to see signs of your torture on his body, via rope burns, welts from a belt, red hot skin from your spankings, etc. he would also love mirror sex because of that. you should try making him hold eye contact with himself in the mirror as you absolutely wreck his body.

a/n: it won't let me post an eleventh gif here, and that is very homophobic. just use your imagination i suppose.💔

eric!

eric is a hopeless romantic, i'd definitely say he's a switch. i feel like your sex with him would be the most vanilla, but also the most loving and passionate out of all the members. both of you taking care of each other. he loves to catch your lips in gentle kisses.

he also likes his sex to be very clean, so you if you ride his face, take advantage of the fact you can make it messy. eric knows just how to please you whenever he's domming you, and loves to be taken care of when you're domming him as well.

your relationship with eric would really be furthered by sex, since he loves showing you affection. he thrives off the fact that he can trust you, and deeply appreciates that you reciprocate those feelings. if you're lucky, you might get to do some kinkier things with him, but i wouldn't exactly count on it.

#kpop smut #sub!idol #sub!tbz #the boyz smut #sangyeon smut #jacob smut #younghoon smut #hyunjae smut #juyeon smut #kevin smut #new smut #chanhee smut #q smut #changmin smut #haknyeon smut #sunwoo smut #eric smut #mochi ficz

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divinolenta · 4 years ago

Text

comforting childe and diluc after a nightmare

character x gender neutral reader, fluff (angst?)/sfw

trigger warning: brief mention of blood and death

additional notes: this was requested by a lovely anon ♡ i had fun writing these (had the most fun picturing what nightmares they would have but you didn’t hear that from me)! i listened to “the moon song” by karen o while writing childe’s scenario and “butterfly’s repose” by zabawa for diluc’s, which is why i’ve included lyrics in their respective scenarios! feel free to imagine yourself singing another song to them, if you’d like :) there are potential spoilers for their backstories, so read at your own risk.

childe:

he is cold, frigid air nipping at his skin viciously as he flees, blinking away snowflakes that cling to his eyelashes. pursued by ravenous wolves and beasts, he loses his footing, falling into a seemingly innocent fissure in the earth. recognizing the dark realm that haunts his memories, he panics, searching for an escape. no, please, not this again.

too late, he lands, trapped in this hell once again. pain jolts through his bones and a gasp leaves his lips when he places weight on his sprained ankle. struggling to stand, childe grips the sword in his hand, hope dying when he finds that several monsters block his path. slaughtering them quickly, childe wipes off the blood that splattered on his face.

“b-brother?”

he turns around, shock evident on his face when he sees his younger siblings, cowering away from him. the snow surrounding them is stained with crimson, and his hands are slick, viscous blood slowly dripping on the floor. tonia wraps her arms around anthon and teucer, shielding them with her body. childe takes a step forward, and extends a trembling hand toward them, calling their names weakly.

“stay back! you....you monster!” a shriek rips from tonia’s throat, gripping her brothers’ closer to her, her terrified expression mirroring theirs. childe recoils at the lack of recognition in their gazes. no matter how heroic and righteous he believed himself to be, he is merely a tainted soul, a monster who could never redeem himself.

lurching awake, childe’s momentary relief is quickly replaced by bitter contempt. a nightmare? he almost laughs, running a hand through his mussed hair, but his hammering heart and shaking hands tell another story. childe needs a breather, and he eyes the door, longing to escape the past and lose himself in the beauty that nature offers. perhaps he will meander along the ocean and watch the waves kiss the shore and recede, and let it wash away his sins. sitting up, he swings his legs over the side of the bed, but it creaks underneath his weight and childe cringes at the sound that resonates throughout the room.

“where are you going?” you ask groggily, squinting blearily at him.

“i just,” childe begins, but before he could continue, shudders ran through his body, interrupting him. you tug him back into the warmth of the duvet, hands cradling his face while you peer at him in concern.

“i’m sorry...” childe squeezes his eyes shut, hands clenching tightly. he tries to calm down his erratic breaths, apologizing meekly as his hands try to nudge you away.

what if he hurts you too?

but you hush him, pulling him closer so that his head rests against your collarbone, limbs tangled together.

you start to sing, the familiar melody striking a chord in his heart. your voice is hoarse and muddled with sleep, but you gradually fall into a soothing rhythm, like the euphonious and undulating cadences of a piano.

i'm lying on the moon

my dear, i'll be there soon

it's a quiet starry place

time's we're swallowed up in space

we're here a million miles away

childe sheds his brash and arrogant exterior and allows himself to get pulled under by the overwhelming tides of his emotions, just like the waves of the ocean that he adores so much. he feels like he’s fourteen again, but this time, you’re here with him. he grasps your shirt tightly, and anchors himself, tears leaking from his closed eyes, falling on to your skin, seeping into the fabric of your shirt.

there's things i wish i knew

there's no thing I'd keep from you

it's a dark and shiny place

but with you my dear, i'm safe

and we're a million miles away

he is consoled by the fact that you do not view him as a monster, and when he’s with you, he can be whoever he chooses to be. he does not need to be tartaglia, childe or even the ajax he used to be, rather, he is content with simply being your lover and spending every hour of the day with you.

diluc:

the moment diluc sees his surroundings, he knows. he knows what’s going to happen, and how everything will go down. the carriage rocks back and forth as it travels over the uneven path, and everything is calm. too calm. swallowing thickly, he turns to his father, heart twinging at the sight of his familiar figure, with hair of flame, so similar to his own.

horses whinny frantically in the distance, and diluc tries to warn his father, but is cut off by the carriage toppling over as they lose control of the reins. a roar shakes the very earth and diluc is thrown against the side of the carriage, hissing in pain when his hand gingerly presses against the bruise on his head.

“father! wait!” diluc scrambles to his feet when his father begins to rise to his feet to investigate and protect the transport fleet. his father looks at him inquiringly, and diluc advances, clutching the hem of his coat in an effort to make him stay.

“you mustn’t go, father, your life will be in peril.” he implores, and even though he tries his best to keep his voice steady, the anguish he truly feels does not fully dissipate.

“i can’t afford to lose you again” is what diluc wants to say, but can’t muster the courage to form the words.

“my son, is that not what a man like your father should do?” his father rests a heavy hand on diluc’s shoulder, and his heart sinks in response.

“but, father-” diluc presses, but his father simply shoots him a reprimanding look.

“i’ll be back soon, just wait for me here.” he lets out a booming laugh, and ruffles diluc’s hair with an affectionate gaze, before walking off, summoning his weapon.

horrified, diluc calls out, but his pleas fall on deaf ears. he desperately wills his body to move, but it’s like vines have erupted from the dirt and tangled around his legs, trapping him in a prison of thorns.

all he can do is stand there, watching from the sidelines. even as his father gulps his dying breaths, all diluc can do is clutch on to him, and pray to whatever god that still remains, while the very light of his soul eclipses.

and like an incompetent fool, all diluc does is weep and regret.

hands shake his shoulders, and diluc snaps out of his dream, released from the tormenting illusion. his gaze meets yours, and when he reaches up to touch his face, his fingers come away damp from the tears that streak his skin.

you’re seated on the bed, sheets pooling around your waist. your brow furrows, and diluc opens his mouth, about to let false reasurances tumble from his lips to alleviate the look of unease you don. how many times had he dreamed of the incident? how many times would he continue to blame himself?

diluc himself does not know the answer.

you lean forward, hands tenderly brushing away the tears that remain, and diluc loses himself in your eyes. eyes really are the window to the soul, he thinks, everything is so clear, like how he knows that the sun will rise, signalling a new beginning. your eyes betray every emotion that flicker through their depths.

“i’m okay.” he whispers, but both you and him know that he’s lying. diluc lies back down, and he gestures for you to do so as well, but you situate him so he lays with his head in your lap.

you card your fingers through his hair carefully, your delicate touches evoking a chill that runs down his spine. you begin to hum softly, voice lilting in an ethereal melody before words surface and accompany it. diluc feels like he’s simultaneously floating and sinking. he wants to weep, for barbatos was lenient enough to grant him such a caring and understanding lover to someone as undeserving as he is.

for a moment, he wonders if you are perhaps hestia incarnate. the warmth and love with which you behold him with is surreal, and god knows that diluc is not capable of replicating or returning such affection.

the shadows in your head

they've got you down again

got you feelin' low

your voice is an intimate whisper, and diluc welcomes the warmth that it entwines him in. he catches your hand, bringing it to his lips so he can press a chaste kiss against it. moonlight slants against your features, and diluc can only stare in awe as you continue to sing, body slightly swaying along as your hand aimlessly caresses his hair.

but it's time to rest, now

let it all melt now

wipe your tears

“thank you.” he murmurs, eyes falling close as your voice lulls him into a sleep. one that he knows will not be plagued with nightmares. you don’t respond, but diluc can hear the hint of a smile in your voice.

it’s a sight to behold: diluc ragnvindr, a man with a renowned reptuation of having a heart of ice, melting in your embrace. out of everything, perhaps your love is what ignites him, and brings back the fervor that was once lost.

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amistytown · 3 years ago

Text

Power Over Me (Leviathan x GN!MC)

Leviathan x GN!MC as Lord of Shadow and Henry; MC is referred to as Henry but remains gender-neutral. I enjoy the TSL lore in Obey Me and wanted to write a bit for it. I initially had an alternate ending in mind, but I decided to save it for another idea I might write at some point. Tried to keep Levi in character while giving him and the story a slightly different feel since it takes place in a fantasy world. Also listened to Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy on repeat while I wrote this so chose to title it accordingly. Hopefully, it turned out all right. Trigger warning for mentions of blood and self-deprecating thoughts. Mostly some angst with fluff. As always, sorry for the typos that I may have missed, and thank you to everyone who takes the time to read. I appreciate it!

Lightning illuminates the throne room, the Lord of Shadow watching the rain batter the windows, gaze sullen. A storm rages outside, mirroring the flood of emotion bursting forth to drown him in misery. Though he can only hold himself accountable, allowing his envy to fester and take possession of his heart in a moment of weakness. He regrets the letters he frantically wrote in his jealously, the heated words exchanged between you, and your pain forever engrained into the parchment, the ink smudged by your tears, which now lay in pieces at his feet. He considered to make the journey to you, begging for your forgiveness, but he knows he’s undeserving. Instead, he mourns the loss of your friendship, the loneliness left in its wake burning him from the inside out as he cries into his hands, his tortured sobs lost to the thunder roaring above.

The doors swing open, light spilling in from the hall. He recoils at the intrusion, anger welling and threatening to spill over, his patience worn thin. A growl dies in his throat, eyes widening at the vision before him, so beautiful and precious his entire being aches with longing. Slowly, he takes in the sight of you, engraving every detail into his memory. Your windswept hair and the raindrops trickling down your face, clinging to your lashes and following the curve of your lips as you smile sweetly at him, staggering into his arms.

“Henry,” he whispers into the nape of your neck, daring to embrace you and revel in the feel of your body against his; your skin cool and soft, and your scent rich, intoxicating him. He’s certain he’s not worthy of your compassion, yet he can’t bear to turn you away, selfishly clinging to you and delighting in the fact you lean into him, your arms winding around his waist to pull him closer. My Henry, he thinks, tightening his grip, afraid he’ll lose you again if he’s not careful. “I’m sorry. I’m so so—”

You grow limp, legs buckling under your weight.

Fear engulfs him, heart lurching as he supports you, catching your hand in his. “Henry?” he whimpers, noticing how your chest heaves with each breath, and the way your brows knit in discomfort, a low groan slipping past clenched teeth. “Henry! What’s wrong? Tell me, please.”

“I ran into a bit of trouble on the way here,” you manage, laughing pitifully. “I didn’t realize . . .” Your fingers fumble to unclasp your cloak, and he swallows thickly at way lay beneath. Blood soaks your blouse—a sickening shade of red—the fabric sticking to your back.

“You didn’t realize?” he cries, incredulous. “Henry—”

“I just wanted to see you.” Your voice wavers, head lolling to the side. He calls to you, shaking you by the shoulders, desperate to keep you beside him. However, your eyes close, grief overtaking him when they don’t reopen.

“You’ll be okay,” he reassures, robes billowing around his ankles as he rushes down the corridor, gently cradling you to him. Guilt plagues him, reminding him how pathetic he is, especially for hurting you and putting your life at risk; how could he act so recklessly. You’re the light to his darkness, breathing life into his world, and he can’t accept losing you—his happiness—your love dispelling the shadows that once consumed him. He never knew a truer friend, and he’s positive there’s no one else who could play such an important role—you’re irreplaceable. There’s plenty of time to atone for his sins, tonight he needs to make sure you live to see the morning.

“I’ll take care of you, Henry. I promise.”

Time comes to an agonizing standstill.

The Lord of Shadow remains at your side, hoping and praying you don’t succumb to your wounds. He watches you closely, frequently checking your pulse and finding comfort in the steady beat of your heart while you sleep, looking deceivingly peaceful in his bed. His focus is on you, never straying from his true friend’s wellbeing despite his inner turmoil, which threatens to tear him apart at the seams. You keep him together, and again he’s at your mercy, owing you his life for all you’ve given him—his hero—his Henry. He hurt you, but you came to him and offered him forgiveness, willing to sacrifice yourself to save your friendship. How can you care about him with such ferocity, a brooding reclusive lord who’s unworthy of his title? No matter the days spent apart, you return to him, accepting him into your life without hesitance, and he can’t help welcoming you back with open arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he mutters. “I’m terrible. A worthless—”

“You’re not.”

For an excruciating second, he wonders if he imagined the glorious sound of your voice, and an anguished sob escapes him, tears clouding his vision. You stare up at him, eyes heavy with sleep, and a lazy smile on your lips. He’s dreaming, he reasons, shaking his head in disbelief. Then your hand is in his, familiar and warm; he shivers at your touch.

Gasping, he pulls away. “Y-you . . .”

“Forgive me,” you say, so understanding—so sweet—your kindness unfathomable. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“N-no,” he stammers, head spinning. “I’m sorry.” Tentatively, he reaches for your hand, fingers quivering as he entwines them with yours. “I’m sorry.” His tears come faster and harder, shamefully hot on his cheeks. He’s unable to articulate how sorry he is or how his very soul painfully throbs at the thought of hurting you—losing you—wishing he could turn back the clock. “For everything.”

You give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay,” you soothe. “I’m sorry, too.” Sitting upright, the blanket bunches at your waist, and he can see where the bandages peek out from beneath your shirt, the skin bruised, making him wince. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’m the reason you’re hurt,” he chokes out, averting his gaze. “It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s not your fault.”

You’re wrong, he wants to say; however, he refrains.

“I don’t blame you,” you continue. “Look at me, please?”

He shouldn’t. Surely, he looks foolish, a mere hostage to his emotions. Nevertheless, he spares you a glance, wondering why you regard him so kindly—lovingly even—causing his heart to flutter.

“It’s not your fault.”

Not his fault? His mind tells him differently; it’s a sea of dread and uncertainty that washes over him in waves, dragging him under. The sincerity of your words is difficult to ignore, and, in that instance, he decides to trust you, finally breaking the surface. “Henry,” he murmurs, hugging you to him, arms wrapping around you protectively as if to shield you from the world. His tears wet your hair, body trembling, and you hold him, letting him come undone in your embrace.

“I wanted to see you,” you say, setting him alight. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you suffering on your own.”

“Henry—”

“I know you’re struggling. It’s okay. I’m here.” You rub his back, resting your head on his chest. “I’ll always come when you call.”

“You’re the truest of friends, Henry. I fear I’m not worthy . . .”

“Of course, you are. I’ve never known a truer friend than you, my lord.”

“I can’t help worrying someone will steal you away. It’s selfish of me, I know. Though I feel so inferior in comparison. Sometimes I think you’re better off without me.” When he learned you met with the Lord of Corruption, his insecurities grew, fanning the flames of his envy. Why choose him over his brother? The Lord of Corruption could provide you with more than he can give. The rest of his brothers, too; they could care for you—protect you—unlike him. You’re here with him though, leaving his brother behind at a moment’s notice, and you did come when he called, eager to please. He wants to return the sentiment. “I can’t articulate how important you are to me. I . . . you’re so special, Henry.”

“No. No one compares to you.” Your praise captivates him. “All I ask is for you to trust me. Talk to me so I can help you. I accept you, all of you, and that’s not going to change. I love you as you are.”

“Love me?” he breathes.

“Yes, I love you.”

A simple but genuine vow of love. He stills, terrified he’ll faint in your arms as he hides his face, heart racing. The cynical part of him says it’s too good to be true, but he knows better—he knows you. He’s envisioned this moment, and it’s far sweeter than his fantasies, your love a beautiful feeling that sweeps him off his feet.

“Have you slept?”

He sighs, mouth unbearably dry. “No.”

“Come to bed. You should rest.”

“Henry! W-with you?”

“You say that as if it’s the first time we’ve shared a bed,” you tease.

“You’ll be the death of me.” Although he complains, the bed dips beneath his weight as he settles beside you, reaching for your hand. “Is this, okay?”

“It is.” Shifting onto your side, your hand tightens around his, a flicker of pain twisting your features.

He tenses, frowning. “Are you okay?”

“I’m all right. Better, thanks to you.”

He can see the exhaustion in your eyes, the dark circles beneath them, and the stiffness of your movements, betraying the smile you wear for him.

“Who hurt you?” he asks.

“No one you need to worry about. Not now.”

Unsurprising. You’re his Henry, besting him and his brothers on multiple occasions; anyone who chose to challenge you is a fool. Yet, your blood flowing freely, covering his hands—the ungodly stench—stayed with him. He clearly recalls your lifeless body, and how the color drained from your face, the heaviness of his heart breaking when he believed he lost you twice in one day. You looked so fragile then and do now, trusting him at your most vulnerable. Hatred for the one who dared to harm you runs deep and for himself for not protecting the one he loves.

“I thought I lost you,” he admits, inhaling sharply. “I-I . . .”

“You didn’t. You won’t.” You catch his tears as they fall. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you, too.” His declaration is quick and clumsy but true; he’s loved you for so long.

Caging you in his arms, he hovers over you, peering down at you shyly. His body shakes with every beat of his heart, ears ringing, but he admires you, gaze affectionate and a light blush dusting your cheeks. He’s scared. He’s scared of losing you most of all, trying to muster half the courage he knows you possess. “I love you, Henry,” he says softly, clutching your hand, his lifeline. Closing the distance between you, he catches your lips in a tender kiss, the magnificence of it sending a rush of blood to his head. He forgets how to breathe, dizzy on the taste of your love, and collapses next to you, questioning if he died and ascended to the heavens. With you by his side the future is much brighter, and, for once, he looks forward to what it brings.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me reader #leviathan x mc #leviathan x reader #my writing

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