#being a teenager sucks ass
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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my brain is so fucking stupid. I was bullied in fourth grade, my friends were like “actually erm we don’t want to be friends with you :/“ on the second to last day of eighth grade (even though we were all zoned for different high schools and would never see eachother anyway). And because of that my brain is, as my therapist and mother (two different people,) theorized, “hyper vigilant for any perceived social ostrichaztion”. The thing is it’s fucking stupid about it. Sure it has the generic “uwu your friends probably hate you secretly” thing.
But it also. Like: I’ll see a post that is somewhat negative towards a thing I like or a trait I even remotely identify with (including stuff as vague as ‘nervous’ or ‘writer’) and I’ll be like “yeah that makes sense” or “I don’t agree but I also don’t care”. But then my brain will repeat the negative phrase on loop for like a week. And will trigger physical reactions (crying, shortness of breath, etc) in response to it. I’ve actually had public panic attacks over things I give 0 shits about because my brain is a fucking helicopter parent.
#there’s one fic writer I love the work of#Who’s made a lot of good posts for a semi niche ship I like#And they’ve done nothing wrong but some of their posts (which again are not morally wrong my brain just sucks ass) have caused this#To the point I had to unfollow them#And a mutual reblogged one of their new posts that has the hallmarks of something that could cause this#(Reason I made this post actually. My thought is that venting about it will get my brain to stfu)#Thankfully since most of their stuff I look at is related to this ship so for now I’m safe#Because I’m currently fixating on oliretta and benslie ship wise (and in general I have rewatched like most of parks and rec)#(Within the span of a week. It’s a problem)#I’ve been on/off obsessed with this ship for like two (?) years so chances are I only have#Maybe four months to get my brain to calm the fuck down#vent#vent tw#vent post#mental health#mental health issues#anxiety disorder#Idk if this is a result of it but I do have clinical anxiety so that could be part of it#bullying#btw fuck people who say “bring back bullying” in response to people being cringe#Like that shit can effect people#And god forbid a teenager or young adult be confident about what they like#Instead of having issues likely caused by being treated like shit by their classmates when they were younger#stress#actually mentally ill#mental illness#actually anxious#bullying mention
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is it still cool and hip with the youth to have ninjago ocs? erm idk but heres my guy, hes a total loser and works at ninjago walgreens or sumthing
#ninjago#lego ninjago#my art#doodles#“is it still hip with youth” i say like im not a teenager lol#if having no idea how to dress was a competition he would win. every time#same with being gay and in denial#yeah he has an elemental power but he sucks ass at it#ninjago oc
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I feel like being obsessed with tmnt growing up is just a precursor to being into crappy video games about war and fictional men who 70% of the fandom finds hot and like 30% doesn't even play the games and just watched the game play and read as much as they could because they either don't play video game, don't want to/can't pay for the games or don't own a console or are secretly ashamed of the fixation.
#im bitches#it feels like my#tmnt#adhd hyperfixation#set me up for my#cod#hyperfixation#because i went from being obsessed with tmnt for 12+ months#to hypertixating on cod#and learning i suck ass at video games#i suck at cod on the ps2#like so bad#i just read it#all the lore#and consume as much media as i can#without playing#the damn games#wtf am i even doing#ne0nlightzz rantz#adhd post#adhd things#fyp#call of duty#teenage mutant ninja turtles
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guess who had a date with the girl they were posting about and then now probably doesn't 👍🏻
#look i said i knew she would devastate me and i am truly not all that shocked#but i did forget how much this sucks ass :)#she hasnt even actually cancelled it i am just expecting the worst always#i am going to spiral about this a little goodbye#sometimes im like “i miss being a certain age” but being a teenager does actually suck sometimes
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Aradia is kinda a weird character to make content for because she has two distinct personality shifts throughout Homestuck and one that we know happened in the past. I really like how much there is to dig into there, but it is a bit hard to wrap your head around how much that'd affect you as a person, ya know?
#alive -> ghost -> robot -> god tier#which is a lot of shit to go through before you hit twenty#being a teenager sucks so much ass already#I barely made it through middleschool intact and I didn't die once#talking at you whether you like it or not
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sometimes i really do want to study the flavor of intense misogyny from older folks, especially when it comes from older women, that assumes all women and girls are sluts and deviants because (checks notes) fashion trends, which the individual consumer has no control over, means that most people’s only options, especially in summer, are to wear somewhat revealing clothing. because it’s hot.
#how have you gotten to this age and gone clothes shopping and not realized the landscape#like i first became aware of this problem at age 12#i didn’t want to wear short shorts and honestly COULDNT bc of school dress code. but it was hard to find another option#enter those plaid bermuda shorts#and i can only imagine it’s 100x worse now in an instagram tiktok age than it was when i was that age#bc god knows I was embarrassed to wear those. felt like they were actively trying to be as ugly as possible#but for swim suits it’s a whole other can of worms#i currently do not own one bc i don’t want to get a wedgie every 30 seconds#two piece bottoms are all advertised as Cheeky. and i already know i have more ass than expected for my waist size#and the other option is. board shorts#but you’re going to blame the 14 year old for wanting to go to the pool??#‘and then they wonder why guys keep staring at them. where are their mothers i can’t believe they’re allowed out like that’#be so for real right now. they’re kids. they should be allowed to have fun and go outside without being creeped on#i always try to meet them halfway with ‘yeah it sucks that there’s not a lot of modest styles of clothes available’ and they’re just like#‘well EYE spent $100 at a specialty online store’ but these kids are going to forever 21 with cash from babysitting or whatever. try again#your single solution does not apply to everyone#like a LOT of it feels like projection. ‘i acted out as a teen so my daughter will do the same’#just not a lot of self awareness. combined with internalized sexism they’re not willing to question#sometimes when my coworker goes on one of her rants about how she’s glad she never had daughters bc of the Way Teenaged Girls Are#i want to be like. i wasn’t like that. your granddaughter isn’t like that.#i genuinely want to study these people. how did you get to this point
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worst thing about legal weed in my state is that it smells like weed every-fucking-where here now. Like, tbh I don't really care what other people do, and if weed is your thing, go you! Have fun, get high! I just would rather not have to smell super skunky-ass fucking smelling weed when I'm on the train, at the park, or on the bus. Presumably there is somewhere the fuck else that you can go to smoke that is not on public transportation or in parks where there are CHILDREN, why do you not do that instead?????
Cigarette smokers have also similarly lost their damn minds since 2020. The cigs actually make me angrier bcs second hand cig smoke is practically as bad as smoking yourself when you're breathing in that shit. have these fools no consideration for:
literal fucking children who should not be exposed to that shit
everyone who is trying to quit that might be triggered by it
everyone who doesn't want to breath in smoke
literally anyone who isn't themselves
?????
god forbid y'all have to wait an extra twenty fucking minutes to light up somewhere else.
ok. rant over.
#margaret babbles#don't get me wrong i think legal weed is good and they should do that#but jesus christ did everyone here decide to lose all sense of fucking consideration of others vis a vie their smoking after legalization#some of us actually don't like the smell of weed and don't want to have to dry clean our coats to get that rank ass smell off#also sure would be nice to be able to go to a single fucking park without being assaulted by the the smell of weed or cigarette smoke#this post sponsored by those annoying teenagers who were smoking a nastyass smelling joint outside the front door of my library#which they made worse by fucking blowing smoke at everyone leaving the library doors. not be an adult on main but fuck those kids#also sponsored by that guy who was smoking cigarettes all the way into downtown on the train the last time I took the green line#fuck that guy actually he sucks#still thinking about how one of my best friends from college is asthmatic#becuase she spent half her childhood living with her chainsmoking grandma#and how another friend I know is straight up allergic to tobacco smoke#or that conversation I had with my mom's friend who used to be a pack a day smoker#until she quit like 10 years ago#wherein she was all like yeah i know myself enough to know that I cannot even smoke ONE cig or be around cig smoking for too long#without risking relapse
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oh finally an age appropriate relationship for debbie-
#shameless#nevermind ._.#let's continue to fuck debbie over i guess#poor baby#reminds me of the shit i went through at her age ugh#being a teenage girl sucks ass
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“but i fear that they already got all the best parts of me” goes so hard
#if only this song came out like 6 years ago lol#i’m also nearing the end of season 2 of my free! rewatch and gosh haru’s conflict hits closer to home than ever#and idk if i’m just getting more emotional lately but makoto and haru’s fight in ep 11 deadass made me tear up#when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao#part of me wishes i was still a teenager just because being a teenager would explain my sense of purposelessness in everything i do#like taking things one day at a time with a blurry future on a road leading to nowhere#but others having high expectations from you and being sad seeing you so lost#but you just don’t want to let go of what you have now#you don’t want to box your passions in what other people want from you#and going back to the lyrics of the song#you feel like there’s not much you can offer anymore ‘cause you were a ‘gifted’ kid and now you’re just an ordinary person#whose gone complacent to the disappointment of everyone who wants to see you succeed but you feel you don’t have it in you#so again you’re just floating through life trying to enjoy the blessings each day brings again with no clear goal#anyway idk what i’m writing#at the same time i’m glad i’m not a teenager anymore ‘cause that shit sucked#but being a grown adult sucks ass too#i know there doesn’t need to be any purpose in life but#i feel like things’ll be easier if i did have a dream#guess i need a best friend to take me to another country or something to inspire me or something#in other words i’m about to watch one of my fave free eps where rin and haru go to australia#anyway i’m rambling#michi yaps
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#i am SO fucking sick of people who love to shove it down my throat that they dislike taylor swift just bc i said im a swiftie#LIKE OKAY. DO YOU WANT A MEDAL#im saying i like her music im not saying shes a god or a saint that i worship and follow 24/7#‘her music is mid’ ‘her lyrics are like a teenage girl’ bitch youve only listened to fucking shake it off and blank space#and even if her music didnt speak to you i dont CARE lmao#why do people insist on making others feel bad for something they like just bc it’s popular#sorry i listen to the blonde white woman. how does that affect you in any way#the most annoying part is that they bring her up ALL the time. commenting on her fan pages or on posts that dont even mention her#cause how are you this obsessed and you claim to hate her#AND YEAH. THE FAN BASE SUCKS ASS SOMETIMES. some swifties are creepy and invasive and have no boundaries i get it#but that’s literally every celebrity fandom lmfao#you can shit on her for her terrible environmental practices. or her business moves that drain money from her fans#cause those are objective and frankly true#but why is she the only celebrity that gets shit on for it. why dont you carry that same energy to other artists#it’s genuinely so nitpicky and annoying#football fans get to be crazy about their sport but swifties getting emotional over her concerts are immature and brainless#be so fr. im so tired#tldr if you dont like ts u dont have to force it in a fan’s face. youre not being more mature or smarter#youre just an asshole#vent#i guess#sorry. this is such a trivial issue but alas
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it feels so weird thinking about the fact that i will no longer be a teenager in about two months ish ive wasted most of my teenage years pretending to be someone i’m not cus i wanted to fit in really badly and i just recently started dressing& presenting the way i want to and i just feel like i’m falling behind
#being a teenager#it really sucks#lonely gay teen#i need a friend#mentally ill and gay#people suck ass#that’s why i dropped out of high school
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#ok my mum is turning into the MESSIEST bitch#full midlife crisis or smthn (that she brought on herself)#divorcing my stepdad after abusing him for years then calls HIM the abuser#made our lives hell as teenagers to where my sister moved out before graduating high school#completely out of touch with how to treat a human being whether relative friend or stranger tbh#anyway. today she gave a 1-month notice to her workplace and rather and they said actually. just go now#they WALKED HER OUT ON THE SPOT#they just didn’t want her around. apparently everyone is so done with her#and she really thought she was well-liked. no. she is not#like they didn’t fire her. they’re gonna pay her the last month. they just don’t want her around anymore#also she’s dating her ex-only friend’s exboyfriend who apparently sucks ass so.#karma I guess#and you know what? I don’t even feel gleeful. I just feel sad to see a life wasted like that#the person she could be vs the shell she is.#val comes out of hiding
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one of my sisters is sad because she hasnt made any friends in their new school + misses her friends from the old school :-/
#im so sad cause ive been there and it sucked#but i bet not as much bc i changed schools in like. mid primary school#but they started high school this year so its a lot of change at once#man being a teenager sucks ass#cami.txt
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At least even when I was a teenager and identified as communist, I was still never a soviet apologist
(And as I got older I came to dislike the USSR more and more and more, also seeing that soviet apologism kinda tended to fuck things up for western communists cause they'd be so busy running defense for people who didn't like or care about them, that actually getting policies passed to help western workers came second to being a tankie)
(Straight up, while I was volunteering in Quebec, one of the people I stayed with had this book by her uncle about being a Canadian communist, and he basically pinned soviet apologism as the whole reason he left the party cause they were more interested is doing PR for the kremlin than they were interested in like... unionizing in Canada)
Anyway, tankies suck, soviet apologism suck, and I'm glad to be able to say that even when I was a communist I didn't fall into that trap... like thank fuck for that, you know?
#honestly my positions as a teenager were more or less what they are now; just not as clear and using different worse terms#these days I'm just so sick of legislating what's socialism; what's capitalism; what's whatever#that it's like man... I think robust social safety nets are good in a lot of ways including for the economy#and I think that probably using currency makes more sense than barter#I just also think strong regulations are important cause otherwise you wind up with rat shit in the food (need stronger than we have)#and I think that handing out that money via welfare is a good way to get people spending and also living decently#so call that whatever the fuck you want; I don't care about the label; I care about achieving those goals or something similar#really just don't like labels these days; like descriptivism where I describe what I am and let other people fill in the blanks#makes for a lot less confusion than post communist when I'd always have to be arguing over what a socialist was#I no longer give a shit; I yam what I yam; and what I yam is someone who likes welfare and making sure people have enough#also fucking over big companies; I'm for that over all#part of the reason I stopped being a communist is I've had this rule for years now that says#'groups of roughly more than 50 people start getting corruption'#communism 100% works on a small scale; most households are communist; everything into the big pot to serve the communal good#my minecraft server is communist; we don't sell each other stuff; all goes into the same pot and we take and share what we need#at a scale of like 10 people communism actually works great; isn't a dirty word at that point#it's chipping in and being part of a community#(you gotta be a real messed up group of people for sharing and pooling resources to lead to mass graves when there's like 5 of you)#but in a big group communism is a great way to have the worst person get absolute power; it just sucks ass and should never be done#wonderful in theory; but doomed 100% of the time in practice; never do communism on a government scale#but anyway; same reason I hate communism is why I also hate mega corps... lot more than 50 people#and what do you know? they're corrupt as shit#other thing about less than 50 people; you can kinda more directly see when someone sucks#and you can kick em out; or you can leave; or you can say 'that small business is awful; I'm never shopping there'#I don't know; I'm just thinking outloud at this point; I can't give you some detailed polisci paper in fucking tumblr tags
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NOT an artist I really admire reposting fanart they made in like 2017 of one of my BIGGEST ick ships of all time!!!! Right before I was gonna go to bed!! OH MY GOD!!
#its not just a ship that i dont like for whatever reasons like it literally makes me nauseous to think abt it#like in the year of our lord 2024 you put this on my feed I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE jfc#it was a really popular ship at the time and i just. oughhh if you know me you probably know the ship bc i literally. its so so gross to me#and it sucked bc Ive had to unfollow them and idk if I'll be able to read their stuff for a while... godddd#like am i overreacting maybe but its shit from when i was a teenager and its super uncomfortable for several reasons#i think they may have blocked me before actually on one of my accounts because i was posting “anti” shit or whatever. i always wonfered why#it unfortunately makes sense now#god I really like their art now too fuuuck#ill probably still read their comics and shit but it just feels shitty. like to know that they STILL like that ship#they were even in the desc like “any discourse your ass gets blocked” like !! oh my god !!#like im happy they still like something they made that long ago. yes good for them in that regard#just it being that ONE ship and the fucking timing like i am about to snap on god and jesus and the holy spirit#ANYWAYS. okay fuck. just had to vent gang#continue on your bullshit have a good evening#vent#rant#my shit
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