#being a man or woman who’s genderqueer is wonderful and amazing

[moodlesmain]

Someone give me recs for media with nonbinary protagonists please give me anything im drowning over here

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello, asking anonymously because it’s still freaky and new but I recently realised I could be transmasc and a lesbian and that’s both exciting and scary. You posted about some people taking T & doing other things such as binding, packing & surgeries to feel more like a woman & I wondered if you could talk about that? I can’t find the post but the idea that T could make me feel more at home in my body & is for some people gender affirming for women is kind of life changing.

Sorry if I’ve phrased anything wrong or inappropriately. I just think that whole concept is so amazing & maybe I want it I’m not sure. Idk where to start

Thank you in advance

💜💜💜

hey you're totally fine this was plenty respectful!

i believe it was this post:

i get how it can be a scary realization! i actually got really scared when i had finally stopped questioning being a lesbian and realized that i was one. people are very judgmental and entitled to the gender identities of lesbians for whatever reason, but we are a very diverse community full of a wide array of people who identify in unique ways.

you're allowed to want to go on T, get top/bottom surgery, pack, bind, and so forth as a lesbian! you can be a woman and want to go on T, and you can also be a nonbinary person, and/or a trans man who is a lesbian. there are lots of transmasc lesbians, including transmasc butch lesbians, transmasc femmes, genderqueer lesbians, and so on. all of these identities go along just fine!

it's okay to not know where to start! if you feel as though it's interesting and gender affirming to you, i'd say find small ways to introduce what you like about those things into your life when and where possible. if you'd like, you can send another ask or a DM and we'll be happy to try to give more specific advice!

thanks for reaching out! glad i could've helped in any way! good luck figuring things out!

[definitelynotgold]

so we know bridgerton is very aimed on being inclusive, and what he have had so far is amazing. I've been wondering at whether they will include a trans character in some way, as this might be difficult given the setting, but I think I have an idea for how they COULD do it if they wanted a trans / genderqueer lead (although it is a complete long shot and I doubt it will happen)

SPOILERS FOR S3P2 AND BOOK 3 (AN OFFER FROM A GENTLEMAN) BELOW

I think they could make Sophie Beckett, Benedict's love interest, a trans man. Frankly, it would make some elements more believable. The reason it doesn't even cross Benedict's mind that the woman in silver who he dreams about could be his new friend / lover is because he has only known him as Mr Beckett (I can't decide on a good new first name - maybe Stephen, which has a similar sound, or Hugo / Alfred, which have similar meanings). The reason Benedict wants to keep their relationship secret instead of just running off and getting married (which show Benedict would absolutely do I think) is because they can't (or so he believes). It's an added layer of forbidden love - Benedict falling for a working class man. And with canonically bisexual Benedict, it's more than plausible they would fall for each other.

I think originally, Mr Beckett would start presenting as a man for safety. Turned out of Araminta's house and then nearly assaulted by the son of the couple he works for, he'd decide it would be safer for him to pretend to be a man. There'd be less questions, less men viewing him as prey, and he could probably get a higher paying job. In the books, Sophie is resourceful and looks out for herself - I don't think this sort of scheme is out of character. But when he first cuts his hair and puts on men's clothing, he looks in the mirror and gets a feeling of finally taking off a disguise, not putting one on. And when he introduces himself as Mr Beckett, and people view him as a man, he doesn't feel like he is lying or keeping a secret. He has never felt more himself.

When he is put in jail, it is not only for theft, but probably some sort of fraud as a 'cross dresser'. I'm not sure whether he and Benedict would get married or not - even if they went off to live in the countryside, it would probably make it more difficult for him to live as a man. But either way I'm sure they would do as in the books, go off and make a quiet life for themselves in My Cottage, away from the prying eyes of the ton. It really just works.

As much as I can hope for something like this, though, I highly doubt it will happen. If we get trans rep, it will likely be a side character. But i love it conceptually and think it could definitely work, if they were going for a trans lead.

[mysuperdupersecretsideblog]

I've always known I like girls.

My first fictional crushes were girls, and my first real life crushes were girls.

I was outed when I was 11 because someone in my small, conservative, religious town saw me kissing my first girlfriend and I decided to own it because going back in the closet wouldn't do anything since everyone already knew.

So I came out as bisexual.

I only ever kissed, cuddled and held hands with people I dated between the ages of 11-13.

When I started highschool at 14 though, I actually started sleeping with people.

Guys and girls.

Thing was, I was always drunk, high, or both when with guys and half the time with girls.

I slept around A LOT.

I was very neutral to all sex when high or drunk, no matter who I was with.

i was only ever sober with some gorls and I enjoyed that and didn't even process that I had never been sober with a guy.

When exploring my own likes and interest through porn, dating sims, etc, I always found myself leaning more towards women but didn't fully connect.

I also, in highschool, found out about pansexuality and started identifying with that more so than with bisexuality.

So I was pan.

Around this time(16), I came out as trans and started identifying with he/him pronouns.

That confused me about my sexuality even more.

For a very short period of time, I identified as a straight trans man, but then I saw a pretty boy and when back to pan.

Eventually it changed again, I settled on demiromantic, pansexual, upon realizing that I was still very neutral to sex no matter what(I was still crossfaded 90% of the time) but that it was hard for me to properly connect emotionally to anyone until I got really used to them.(This was really mostly guys though. I wasn't with many girls at the time because I was getting physically assaulted for being queer and thought it'd be safer if I dated a lot of guys.)

It went that way for a long time.

Finally, at 23, after a death in my family, my stepdad, who had made it clear he didn't like my sexuality, gender identity, or religion, used that as an excuse to kick me out of the house.

I told my friends about this and some of them panic bought me a plane ticket to their state. So I moved halfway across the country and am living with them now.

Since I've been here, I've had room to explore myself and who I am without having overly scrutinizing eyes watching my every move.

I've realized that I am not a trans man and am actually genderqueer(It/They) and, after having sex for the first time SOBER with a guy and

not feeling neutral

in fact feeling disgusted and kinda sick afterwards

I decided maybe HE was just bad at it.

Despite him actually managing to pull out all the stops and make me cum twice.

Still grasping onto my heteronormativity like a lifeline.

Then another guy.

Great friend.

We date for a while.

Everytime he tries to do anything further than kissing and I actually feel sick.

I hook up with a girl I know as a one time thing.

It feels so right and amazing.

A wonderful experience.

Reminded me of the little flashes of enjoyment in the sober experiences with girls in highschool.

And I finally realized it.

I only like women.

I don't feel right using lesbian to define myself though.

As an afab enby individual, I feel uncomfortable pushing so much implied femininity into my label.

I know that there are a lot of enbys who identify as lesbians and that's fine. I'm happy they have a label that they are comfortable with. It just doesn't suit me, personally.

I did some research, looking up sexualities that define an individual who is not a woman or a man, who loves women.

i finally found it.

Donnasexual

An unaligned nonbinary person who is attracted to exclusively women.

[diana-prince-s]

I thought that drag was supposed to be inclusive and for everyone. I always thought it was meant to be full of love, so why is it wrong for Maddy to be on drag race? Or should straight people just not do drag at all? It just seems strange to me because what if Maddy is embracing the feminine side of his identity? Does that mean he should be ashamed of being straight but still feeling feminine? Then what about a bisexual or asexual? Is it a prerequisite that drag can only be done by gays or lesbians?

Unless your point is just that straight people should not be on drag race?

I’m not being angry or a hater, I’m just genuinely curious and want to understand why.

Okay let me just start in the middle -- because comparing a straight identity to a bisexual identity is just... wrong and feels a little invalidating and, dare I say, biphobic. If you are straight then you are not queer. If you are not straight, then you are... queer. So, yeah, bisexuals and anyone in the LGBTQ+ community can do drag.

I don't think Maddy shouldn't be doing drag. I honestly was less angry about his whole situation when he said that he started doing drag to explore his gender identity because I resonate with the feeling of exploring my own gender identity through drag. And I'm sure there are trans men who do drag who identify maybe as straight, and of course they can do drag -- but they are queer because they are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I think it would be more welcomed for them to do so than a cis straight man.

I'm sure Maddy is a great ally and a great part of her drag scene. And in a different world, and on a different Drag Race, I don't think it would have mattered that Maddy is a cis straight guy. But this Drag Race is a Drag Race of exclusion, and Maddy's casting is a symbol of just how deep that exclusion runs.

RuPaul is a misogynist, a transmisogynist, and a transmedicalist. From the show being riddled with transphobic language (and Ru refusing to change it despite several queens speaking out about it for YEARS) to saying that post-op trans women can't do drag because it's "performance-enhancing drugs", Drag Race has been out of sync with what real drag communities across the world look like. Real drag communities are vibrant spaces led by Black and brown trans women in all stages of transition or of not-medical transition (because having a dick doesn't make you a man and having boobs and a vagina doesn't make you a woman). Real drag communities accept and showcase drag kings, afab queens, genderqueer and genderfuck performers. Notice how all of the queens on Drag Race (before Gottmik) who identified as non-binary or genderqueer were amab. My guess is Ru doesn't personally view non-binary people or trans women as validly and solidly their gender identity unless they undergo a full medical transition. And I wonder if Gottmik would have been cast had he not gotten his top surgery.

Maddy’s casting and my anger about it isn’t about Maddy. It’s about how RuPaul is more comfortable being in community with a straight man than he would be with a lesbian or bisexual woman. RuPaul would rather give a straight man a platform and an opportunity to represent his “community” than give the other half of the LGBTQ+ community that same opportunity. RuPaul basically wants only gay men to do drag, not gay women. And that should tell you a lot.

If you're asking why Maddy can't be on the show, maybe you should be asking why Tenderoni, a fucking amazing drag king, can't be on the show. Maybe you should be asking why there are no afab performers, whether they identify as cis women or as non-binary people. A straight guy doing Drag Race feels like a "fuck you" to all of the incredible, talented, queer performers who STILL are not allowed to do Drag Race. Ru thinks he's being revolutionary by casting a straight white man in drag, when he really could be revolutionary and let the entire drag community compete on Drag Race.

[africanization101]

White masculinity shifting: a case study

I get an untold number of messages in my inbox from anons who all come to me with a similar problem: they are white males who describe themselves as submissive/beta/sissy/wannabe cuckolds or any such term, are deeply unsure about their role in the world and would like to hear my advice on that.

I have talked about this in the past and tried to do the Jordan Peterson bit where I encouraged them to clean their rooms and branch out into the interracial dating market on their own, but this seems to often fall on deaf ears; perhaps because you guys are too busy watching porn, but also, when your testosterone dips below a certain point, I guess the prospect of competing for women feels somewhat daunting.

Recently I had the pleasure of exchanging thoughts with a user who went off anon to contact me and was willing to answer some questions. I think his situation is fairly typical of many anon askers and he was excited to be a bit of case study for this topic, so gosh, I guess we need to talk about white males again, don’t we? They always seem to find a way into the conversation!

White Guy Problems: the cause

I’ve mused at length about the cultural reasons for white male insecurity and we don’t need to rehash it in detail here; suffice it to say that when an overwhelming number of your athletes, musicians, pop culture icons and lately also political actors are people of color, your somewhat justified feeling that you’re losing your somewhat unjustified #1 spot in the world might dampen your self-esteem a bit. More on this topic can be found here or here.

There’s also a biological effect going on in the background, namely that Western men’s testosterone levels have been steadily dropping in the recent past. Notice that the descriptor here is locational (Western) rather than racial, but “Western” is often used as a less fraught stand-in for “white” and we also know testosterone levels are related to life adversity, so sorry, your comfy middle class upbringing really did a bigger number on you there relative to Black and Brown men who had to struggle for a living. Sperm counts have been dropping at the same time of course, but that seems to be more of an effect than a cause.

So what we have here is a situation where our culture isn’t exactly boosting traditional white masculinity while many white men are also drawn towards greater physical and behavioral androgyny by their hormonal biology. Which is perhaps why the biggest beauty influencers on YouTube now look like this:

White Guy Problems: the effect

And this brings us to our case study. He’s a white male entering middle age who doesn’t identify as gay, genderqueer or any other particular label; he’s just doing his thing. He’s had relationships with women in the past, but never felt an urge to assume a dominant position behaviorally or sexually. In fact, he claims he was always aware of his submissive tendencies, but tried not to let it show in order to fit in better as a man.

This somewhat changed after he discovered interracial porn. I’ll let him speak for himself here:

Not only did it show me what sex (real sex) was, it also confirmed and cemented my feelings of inadequacy.  I was hooked! Over time, much spent viewing Black men bringing immense satisfaction to white women, my focus gradually became centred on the main source of that satisfaction:  the Black Man’s penis.  It was as though it became a reference point for all things pleasurable, and my fascination and awe just grew from there.  That Big Black penis was what I was staring at when I furiously rubbed on my own incompetent white penis, so stiff with admiration and respect.

The phallus worship expressed here eventually seeped into real life, where he headed out to a sex shop to look for a physical representation of his desires:

I was going to leave at one point, but I thought since i was there i might as well just get it over and done with, so i picked a 10 inch jet Black realistic looking rubber dong, two bottles of lube, paid for it and left. I was so relieved to be out of there and couldnt wait to get back to my hotel room.  I stripped off and opened the package, and let me tell you, just holding that thing was an amazing rush, feeling the weight and girth of it, and the contrast of it in my white hands. It was like i was quivering, butterflys in the stomach.

Now you’d be excused to think that this man is just very gay and in denial, but I really don’t think that’s it. For one thing, a submissive gay man wouldn’t necessarily be intimidated by a masculine partner; he’d see him as complementary rather than competition. A gay man would also feel very compelled to just go out and get the real thing, whereas our case study never did. Of course there are closeted gay men who never live out their desires, but they often fell into a heterosexual marriage or their living circumstances make it otherwise impossible to live out their sexuality. This was not the case here.

What this sounds like to me is a fundamentally heterosexual man who, for whatever reason, just doesn’t quite have it in him to be sexually assertive and find or please women that way, and who ends up somewhat transfixed on the kind of man who seems to be able to do that effortlessly. Given the setup of interracial porn and the larger cultural influences on his life, this kind of man ended up being Black, of course. So our white male case study developed a fetish in the original sense of the term: worshiping someone or something for a perceived inherent power. A worship that is tentatively sexual, but never quite crossed that threshold.

Our case study thinks he is somewhat representative of the white men who hang out in circles like these. I’ve certainly met enough of them to say that he’s part of a larger subdemographic, perhaps the largest one.

White Guy Problems: the solution?

I just gave you my best Sigmund Freud impression there, but I’m not a therapist and I’m not quite sure what the proper course of action for someone like this should be. He would probably be quite happy in a cuckold relationship, but this poses the problem of finding a relationship in the first place, which we already discovered was not one of his strong suits. He could try gay sex to see if maybe he likes it enough to pursue it. If the overall male body is a turn-off for him, he could maybe start with a glory hole, where it’s just the phallus.

He also confessed to having a weakness for transgender women, which will probably not surprise anyone. This, too, could unfortunately be a bit of a compatibility problem since he likes them specifically for having a penis while many transgender women embark on their journey specifically because they don’t like having a penis.

Man, these white guy problems are really tough. Of the options listed above, I think the most realistic would be to find a woman who can adapt to his submissive sexual desires and is willing to humor them or maybe even gets off on it herself. I would imagine you don’t need to be a stud to please this kind of a woman; she’d probably be looking for other qualities in the first place. But I couldn’t tell you where to find her, though I have talked to men who did find such women, so it’s clearly not impossible.

In the meantime, I guess he’ll have to keep himself happy with copious amounts of porn, which many white males of his persuasion seem to settle into as a consolation prize. I’m not sure how sound this is in the long term, so I’ll revert to Jordan Peterson again at the end of this post and suggest that cleaning your room and standing up straight with your shoulders back might work wonders for you even if your testosterone levels are a joke compared to your great-grandfather.

And now that I answered this concern in book length, I expect all you betas out there to ask more diverse questions in the future.

[genderqueerpositivity]

1) Nonbinary, to me, is a word that I can used to express that my gender is outside the man/woman binary. I also identify as trans: my gender identity is different from the one expected of a person who was assigned female at birth.

I identify as genderqueer, which is my preferred gender label. I connect with the history of the term, and the association with queer identity. I also like that genderqueer describes my gender for what it is instead of what it is not ("My gender is queer" as opposed to "My gender is not binary".)

I'm also transmasculine and gendervague (my experience of gender identity is inherently connected to my neurodivergence).

2) My pronouns are they/them/their, he/him/his, or ey/em/eir.

3) I prefer Mx.

4) On the nonbinary flag, the yellow stripe. On the genderqueer flag, the green one. On the trans flag, the white one. All of which are for people whose genders are outside of the binary.

1) 17/18. This is around the time I joined tumblr and around the time I discovered an article about genderqueer identity written by a genderqueer person. (I googled to link it, as I still remember the author's name and the article name, and the website no longer exists. That sucks.)

2) Same as above. I was just, amazed, that being neither a woman or man was something that a person could actually do. Actually be.

3) I definitely questioned if I could be trans before I learned that I was possible to be nonbinary. I would've been like...15/16? I remember hearing about Chaz Bono's transition on TV. And again, I was like, people can do that??! Everyone around me reacted to the news of his transition with so much disgust and confusion. I didn't think I was a man, not entirely anyway, and if you aren't a man then you must be a woman. And the way that people around me spoke of transgender people, I believed that I didn't want to be like that anyway.

Fuck internalized transphobia.

4) I've come out to some people. Mostly other trans folx--friends, people in my local community. I was outed as a lesbian to my family around the same time that I discovered nonbinary genders (almost a whole decade ago). And it went very badly for me. As a result, I'm not out to most of my family as trans. But I did just come out to my dad on the 4th of July, and that went far better than I could have expected.

5) Being out is important to me. But I'm not certain how the rest of my coming out will go.

1) I get to define myself on my terms. I get to choose the names, and the labels, and the pronouns. I get to play with gender presentation and to find different ways to express my gender. I love being in trans centered spaces, I love the name tags, the pronoun pins, and the consciously inclusive and neutral language.

2) I've learned a lot about gender and self-identity. I've learned that what makes me happy matters.

3) I've gained a better understanding of myself and what I want for my future. I've gained friends within the community.

4) When someone uses my name, when I hear my pronouns spoken out loud, the first time (and every time since) that I've put on a binder.

1) I'm neurodivergent, chronically ill, and fat. I am not 30 yet, but I'm much closer to 30 than 20.

2 and 3) My gender identity and neurodivergence are very connected, I'm gendervague. That isn't a popular statement to make. Transphobes manipulate the overlap between the trans and neurodivergent communities in an attempt to pathologize transness. In reaction, those within the trans community who buy into respectability politics openly mock the terminology created by autistic and otherwise neurodivergent trans people that we use to describe the ways that our genders and neurology are connected.

In some ways neurodivergent and/or autistic trans people are both invisible and too visible.

At a few weeks short of 28, I'm older than many of the most visible faces in the nonbinary community; I'm almost 28, and the closer I get to 30, the more I wonder what aging as a nonbinary person will look like. There aren't as many visible nonbinary people over the age of 30 as there are under the age of 30. Nonbinary identity is often presented as a phase that young people go through--that is unfair to nonbinary youth, and it is also unfair to older nonbinary people.

I'm fat and afab, which means that I cannot achieve the nonbinary ideal of thin, flat chested, androgyny. The majority of visible nonbinary people are thin and conventionally androgynous. Even while binding my chest, my fat body is only ever perceived as afab.

4) Nonbinary people can look like anyone. I look like a nonbinary person right now, just as I am. I'm just as nonbinary right now as I will be once I've medically transitioned (which I intend to in the future.) My other identities don't make me less nonbinary.

[functionalasfuck]

Tag: Post 5 of your favorite actors/actresses from dramas.

Tagged by @lostinbl​ (thanks ❤️❤️❤️!!!!) over on my main blog ( @whyismybigsistersocool ), but I wanted to put it on my sideblog since this is where I put most of my fandom stuff.

Here are my 5 in no particular order

1. Saint Suppapong

For some reason, I have fallen in love with every single role I’ve seen him in. My two ride or die bl ships are AePete and TutorFighter and I have no idea how Saint did that, but I guess we are unworthy of knowing.

2. Joshua Rush

Okay, I don’t know if this counts as an actor from a drama (are Disney Channel shows dramas?), but I’m putting my boy up here. This boy is absolutely amazing. I first saw him in Andy Mack, where he plays the first ever out gay main character on a Disney TV show. But he is also an activist and posts about politics and is extremely passionate about the world. And very open about his bisexuality and, despite being a literal child and younger than me, I look up to him. We need more Joshua Rushes in the world.

3. Jameela Jamil

I feel like I don’t need to say much about why I love her. She is not only hilarious as Tahani in The Good Place, but an activist. I can only hope I can emulate the amount of integrity this woman has. She is a body positive trailblazer who inspires me every single day. AND SHE’S AN AMAZING ACTRESS! How can someone be so moral, talented, and wonderful all at the same time?

4. Chella Man

A trans deaf genderqueer jewish poc artist who is an advocate for disabled people and ALSO AN AMAZING ACTOR. Istg how are there so many talented activists out there? He plays Jericho on Titans and I was blown away by his performance. Jericho is now one of my favorite characters on the show (I also love Gar Logan, he is my baby).

(I’m noticing a pattern in these actors... 🤔)

5. Freema Agyeman

So, she is just beautiful. And talented. And a glowing person. She played Amanita in Sense8 (literal favorite character and amazing show). And I want a love like her and Nomi have. Where can I get an Amanita? I’ve also seen her as Martha Jones in Doctor Who and Larissa Laughlin in The Carrie Diaries. She just has an energy about her that makes me love everything she is in. So I had to put her on here. 

I feel like there is definitely more, and definitely people I forgot. But here are my 5 as of right now. 

[chainedkura]

Coming out and Queerness

I’m going to share some of my thoughts and personal experiences with these two topics.

First a bit of my history. Since I was really young (let’s say 7 or 8) I’ve been teased, kinda ridiculized and lowkey bullied because of my voice and my femeninity. The “Gay” epiteth was a thing I listened pretty frecuently in my early childhood. At the time I had the amazing luck and privilege of having a big group of friends and being kinda “popular” in school, so even when some of the kids were saying those things it didn’t actually affect me that much. I was a happy kid who didn’t undersand sexuality or any of those kind of stuff. I remember being peer pressured to have some “girlfriends” and trying to kiss a girl at some point (Spoiler alert: I didn’t) but it didn’t feel neither “right” nor “wrong” it was just kind of a game. I’ve always felt it like playing pretend.

This story changes at age 11 when I realize my queerness. I remember being on the internet and suddenly stumbling upon some really NSFW gay fanart of one of the animes I watched at the time. That was the first time I’ve felt aroused. After that, a long process of self acceptance came along, with a lot of denial and a teenage “romance” with a girl in my highschool with a disastrous ending, of course. At age 13 I have my first proper crush on a boy (that’s a story for another time) and then, having to do something with the situation with my “girlfriend” I came out to my closest friends at the time.

My family is pretty progressive and I always knew they would understand me and support me but coming out is a really hard thing to do. It’s scary as hell. As a teenager who was dealing with his sexuality, self worth, and some other stuff, it was something I couldn’t just do. I hated being closeted, not being able to be totally myself, but at the same time the idea of telling my family who I was turned my blood to ice.

So I made a decision, I would live my life as the queer person I was, outside the eye of my family and whenever I had the obligation to come out (being it having a relationship) I would do it. This leaded to myself being closeted until I turned 16, when I dated for the first time (another story for another time). At that time I came out as gay to my family because I didn’t want to lie about my relationship.

Here’s where the story gets real juicy. Even though I had came out and everything was a bit bettter, my identity was not just my sexual orientation. At the time I didn’t realize this (I mean, I just realized this during this past year) but there was a lot of things I wanted to do with my personal image and my gender expression that I wasn’t allowed to.

Patriarchy and gender sterotypes are within us all and at the time my parents and myself included had some severe internalized homofobia. Everything was fine with my queerness as long as I didn’t want to break some of the gender rules, as long as I kept myself in the really limited spectrum of gay masculinity.

I remember having some really heated arguments with my parents because I wanted to grow and paint my nails or wear some makeup or grow out my hair and straighten it.

I really hate fighting, I loathe conflict and I’m kind of a coward so when this stuff started happening I just stopped doing the things I wanted and told myself “You’ll be able to do them when you’re older”.

Because of this I reduced and restricted the experience of my queerness to just the “acceptable” portions of it. I ignored all these other aspects of my identity to fit a mould. And I hated it.

This last year, after internalizing myself with some queer knowledge and meeting a really interesting person, I started wondering about my own identity once again.

After hours of thought and doubt and some more research I found the missing piece to the puzzle of my identity. I’m not a gay man, because I was never a man. I’m not a woman either. I am just me, a genderqueer person.

So now I found myself again, 8 years later, feeling that same fear and anxiety of coming out. But now I don’t have that boldness of my teenage years. I’ve managed to tell two of my friends, but chickened out when I wanted to tell the others.

Today I had a really cool exchange with my parents about gender and sexuality, because my dad is having a training course on the topic, and my mum asked me about non-binary identities. It was a perfect moment to just come out and talk about it, but I was too scared to do it. I felt horrible explaining some of the concepts and saying “They” instead of “We”.

I’m going to cut this here because this is way too long. I just wanted to rant about my story and feelings a bit. Thanks to whoever read all this giant stupid shit.

[catboyfeli]

the past few days i’ve been experiencing so much confusion and dysphoria towards the concept of nonbinary itself, and i think that’s part of why i used to oppose it??

it’s just?? i’m autistic so i take everything literally, so if someone identifies as their agab, but not the gender roles assigned to it, would they be nonbinary? what even is gender to most people?

i’m so loving towards queer cishets because, although i’m not cishet, queer attraction to men as a woman is a big part of my identity, and everyone has different interpretations of what gender is, so if someone experiences their gender as queer, but still identifies as it, wouldn’t they be lgbtq?

like, if a cishet man identifies as male, but does not conform to the male gender role, expresses himself femininely, experiences a disconnect from the male social role, and experiences attraction exclusively to women (or those who present as women), but in a way that isn’t the same as typical cishet men, would he be considered nonbinary or genderqueer?

people go on and on about self identity always being valid, but the second someone identifies as cishet and queer, they act like it’s contradictory. but heterosexual attraction and straight attraction aren’t the same thing?

people say lgbtq means anyone who isn’t cishet, but also talks about how cis individuals may identify as genderqueer, or something similar, to describe their connection to gender roles and social roles. so by that logic, someone can identify as cis + het and queer without it being contradictory.

it’s been on my mind a lot lately and makes me feel like bursting into tears because it’s so overwhelming and confusing and i hate how exclusionary and hateful the community as a whole is.

i just? i have one character i’m kin with, that goes beyond just having them as a character i relate to or find comfort in. he’s a cis man, but very feminine, doesn’t conform to the male social role in the slightest, attracted almost exclusively to women with a rare exception here and there for other feminine men, identifies as male but not with the male social or gender roles

i know it probably sounds silly to most people but for me, this kin majorly affects my identity and so often i just wonder? is he cis? is he nonbinary? i don’t fucking know??? sometimes people say nonbinary and genderqueer can also refer to one’s gender expression, and yeah, this character’s gender expression is 100% nonbinary. he doesn’t “act” like a man whatsoever and identifies more with women than with men, but still identifies as a man.

anyway the big problem is that i roleplay this character, and whenever i think about the fact that people would assume a straight man or lesbian wouldn’t be attracted to him, it makes me feel incredibly dysphoric, because like?? ok he’s male but he doesn’t behave or present male whatsoever, so yeah, some straight men and lesbians COULD be attracted to him because attraction goes far beyond gender identity and is affected more by gender expression than anything else

so this whole thing just makes me feel confused and dysphoric and i’m about to start my period so i’ve been real emotional and disassociative lately which makes me hyperfixate on this and it’s so UGHGHHGGHh.

it’s just so difficult to explain my feelings, beliefs, and experiences to others and it makes me so frustrated and upset.

i just wish? the community would come up with something to refer to actual non lgbtq people? instead of using cishet as a catch-all because it’s really not? someone who’s cis and het can still be queer in their experience with gender and sexuality, and although i’m neither, i’m still supportive due to my past confusion with all of this and knowing what i experienced was queer, but at that time, feeling as if cis and heterosexual best described me.

and plus now even if i was cis and het, my attraction to men and experience with gender would still be queer, regardless of my personal identity or attraction (or lack of) to women.

most of society sees gender as either male or female, depending on your sex or which one you want to transition to, and how you behave and present yourself is independent of your gender. which makes sense, but now i don’t know what i believe and it’s all so fucking confusing and some aspects of nonbinary enforce gender norms and others demolish it and it confuses and distresses the hell out of me

i just wish i had one person who understood my way of thinking, then i’d feel less alone and crazy, because like? a woman who presents as male can still conform to the female social role? gender expression refers to more than just presentation, and a woman who presents as female can not conform to the female social role. is that considered nonbinary or genderqueer? is that why people think i’m crazy for being supportive of queer cishets? is a person who identifies as their agab but has queer gender expression considered nonbinary or genderqueer? have i just been taking this “identity” thing too literally?

are gender and gender roles considered the same thing? because yeah, they are just about the same thing, but is that how other people view it?

typing this whole thing has helped a little with my thoughts but i still feel distressed and dysphoric as hell. i’m nonbinary, but still have a strong attachment to being female due to, you know, growing up as female and mostly conforming to the female social role, so seeing all this hate towards cishets makes me, by association, feel like shit, and seeing people constantly assume heterosexual attraction conforms to binary gender roles, makes me feel invalidated, invisible, and dysphoric. me being kin with a very gnc male character, who also experiences queer heterosexual attraction, makes it hurt even more and increases my distress and dysphoria.

like on tiktok? i saw some jerk say how “straight people shouldn’t use top/bottom” like??? first of all trans people?? second of all PEGGING?? like i said, i still feel strongly attached to being female, so this made me feel like garbage.

does the community consider those who do not conform to gender expectations as nonbinary or genderqueer? is cis used to refer to those who identify as their agab AND the gender and social roles that go along with it? am i the one who’s out of the loop?

feminine gay men (more specifically, mlm) are normalized in lgbtq spaces, but feminine straight and bi men when it comes to m/f attraction, aren’t, and are inherently assumed to conform to the male social norms. same with women, obviously, but i feel like it’s slightly more accepted with women.

even in bisexual spaces, m/m and f/f relationships are considered ‘superior,’ and m/f relationships are always assumed to conform to gender roles. by the lgbtq community, as well. people think m/f and het mean heteronormative, gender binary conforming. but it doesn’t. is there any sort of term or community for those who don’t conform to this? i’ve been meaning to make my own but i’d really rather not because i just don’t have the energy.

this is what i’m always talking about. this is why i thought so strongly i was just a cis girl that didn’t conform to the female social role. is my understanding of things just off? is being gnc considered genderqueer by default? and when i say gnc, i don’t mean a man who wears dresses or something, i mean men and women who don’t conform to the gender roles assigned to them because it’s who they are inside, not to make a political statement or whatever. i’m not gnc or nonbinary to make a political statement, i am because that’s just who i am.

anyway if i could just be a normal cis girl who isn’t exclusively attracted to femme men that’d be fucking amazing. sometimes i wish i was just a trans guy but even then i feel like i wouldn’t be completely happy since i’m just Not attracted to gender conforming men in the slightest. and yes, i’m bisexual, but lately it’s so rare that i’m attracted to women and when it comes to men, i’m exclusively attracted to femme men, not exclusively attracted to men as a whole.

so often i get jealous of trans men, gay men, and lesbians, and then i feel like an asshole because i shouldn’t be jealous but i am and i just wish i was one of them and not a fucking freak that doesn’t seem to fit any label or community properly. like my gay trans friend? i’m so jealous of him and i feel like an asshole. he has so much community and i have? nobody. i wish i was like him. i don’t know anyone who understands my attraction to exclusively femme men, and especially not girls who understand it. for a long time, you know, despite me feeling drawn towards the nonbinary label, i thought my lack of community of other women who understood how i felt and lack of representation, was why I felt that way, and I thus brushed it off as me being cis and confused.

knowing tumblr, someone’s going to see this and make fun of me or invalidate my feelings, as fucking always, so i don’t even know why i’m posting this. i just have nowhere else i can put it.

[sophia-sol]

Ever since I heard about the new Little Women movie that was coming out I was very excited about it, because it looked like it was going to do interesting things with the adaptation.

So I decided I needed to reread the book in preparation for going to see it, since it's been a few years since I've read it. I grew up on Little Women and its sequels and love them all dearly (in full recognition of their various imperfections), but my memory is not good and I wanted to be sure that I would be able to catch what the movie was doing with respect with its choices about what to maintain/alter/remove in its adaptation.

Little Women the book is a challenging one to make a movie of, because it's so long and so many things happen in it, without there really being a single overarching plot that it can be distilled down to because it's so episodic, and I think the movie made a lot of great choices in how to make that jump from page to screen.

The thing is. The thing is! I grew up with this book, right, so of course there are very specific things that I imprinted hard on emotionally, and a movie that interprets those things differently from me is never going to work 100% for me as a viewer.

Which honestly kind of disappoints me? Because like, a) a lot of ways the movie adapts the book are SO GOOD and I was delighted by these things, and b) the thing I'm maddest about is one that, in isolation, is a narrative choice that would very much make me happy if it was about different characters than the ones I grew up with.

OKAY let's get to the spoilers!

So. My biggest problem with this movie is that I am, at heart, a Jo/Bhaer shipper. Which I realise is deeply unusual! In fact I even came across a review of this movie that talked about how the Jo/Bhaer ship is obviously inherently a problem with the book that any adaptation has to decide how to handle - which let me tell you, got me a little steamy about the ears. I'm okay with the idea that different people can ship different things, but for the prevailing cultural opinion to be that nobody could possibly actually be into my (canon!) ship is...a little wearing tbh.

And the movie definitely sees the Jo/Bhaer ship as a problem that needs addressing. There seem to be multiple interpretations of exactly what the movie is doing with the ship (the ending is literary and ambiguous), but regardless of how you interpret it it's clear that the movie isn't willing to just play it straight, as it were.

And. Like. In any other context I would LOVE how the movie is working so hard to make the point that a woman's happy ending can involve NO RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN AT ALL. But I really truly sincerely think that Jo and Bhaer as they're depicted in the trilogy of novels are an amazing ship who are really well suited and wonderful together and so I don't actually WANT Jo to be the character through whom this point about singleness is made!

(also, if the movie is wanting to make a point about singleness, then why does it add in a whole bit about Jo changing her mind and wanting to marry Laurie after all but being too late for it?? That whole part was weird and felt wrong.)

And like. I do in fact read Jo as aromantic? But to me that's why the Jo/Bhaer ship works so well - it doesn't read to me as being romantic at all, no, and that's maybe at least in part why a lot of people aren't on board. But it's about two people who love each other dearly and have a great deal in common deciding they'd be happiest sharing their lives together, and that doesn't have to be romantic. And I think that's beautiful.

(And speaking of Jo's queerness, oh my god in the book Jo reads to me as SO EXTREMELY GENDERQUEER and younger me never noticed! But WOW. And the movie managed to incorporate a few bits of this aspect of Jo, which I really appreciated.)

Anyway, aside from my disappointment in literally everything about how Bhaer is handled in the movie, I really loved so much. Like, the way that the March family dynamics are portrayed is incredible. And I loved that the particular closeness between Jo and Beth got some focus, and the significant looks of understanding between Jo and Marmee in moments when Jo is working hard to keep her temper. And the connection between Beth and old Mr Laurence! I do have a real fondness for that. And I was glad that the difficulties between John and Meg over money are included, showing how even when you genuinely love someone and are happy to have made the choice to join your lives together in full knowledge of what it means, that it can still be hard.

The movie faced the challenge that any movie adaptation would, of how to portray characters who start the book children and end as adults. For example, Amy is 12 when the book opens and, if I'm doing my math right, is in the neighbourhood of 22 by the end. And Jo is 15/25. Having one actor play the character throughout makes it feel super weird when the actor is playing too far outside their age range - like, the actor playing Amy in this movie was acting her heart out to try to seem like a 12 year old but SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ADULT. But it's also weird to recast the characters, because honestly the book doesn't have that much in the way of a time-skip, like there's a three year skip between Part The First and Part The Second but the vast majority of the growing up happens on page, so at what point do you switch actors? So this movie did the best it could with the situation it found itself in, and I don't think it could have done it better than it did, it was just....noticeable.

I also didn't like the way the movie rearranged some of the timeline and events of what happens in Europe between Amy and Laurie, as I thought it made that romance come across rather less well. Although honestly maybe that was the point it was trying to make???? That Amy was trading out one mercenary practical marriage option for another? I would believe that of this movie. Except that it did seem to be trying to say that they really did love each other, even though it showed none of that happening, and only really dwelt on the part where Laurie was moping about in dissipation and Amy being frustrated with him. IDK.

Anyway. I guess that anytime the movie was about the March family alone, with no other characters involved, I was 100% there for what it was doing, it was just with some of the things involving outside characters that I had more questions. And most of the movie IS about the March family, so mostly I truly adored the movie! Most of my complaints (other than about Bhaer) are honestly pretty minor ones. And if I weren't an inveterate Jo/Bhaer shipper from childhood I think I would love this movie.

Sigh.

The version of the book I read through this time, by the way, was an annotated version, which also included a lengthy introduction and prequel giving historical context from Louisa May Alcott's own life. Which was really interesting! I feel like the quality of the annotations was merely fine - I've read better annotated books, but I've also read worse, and some of the annotations were genuinely helpful and interesting but others I have complaints about. But the intro/preface were really helpful in better understanding the place from which Alcott wrote the novel.

Which is relevant for the movie, actually, because the characters in the book are in large part based on Alcott's own family, and in a number of ways the movie added extra stuff from Alcott's real life that she hadn't put into the book. I don't remember all of the specifics anymore, unfortunately, but the complexities around the conclusion are definitely drawing from these extra-textual sources.

Louisa May Alcott based the character of Jo on herself, and Alcott actually never married. And was a strong proponent of the idea that marriage is not the only valuable thing a woman can do with her life! And Alcott was against the idea of Jo and Laurie ever marrying in the world of the story, despite all of her fans being into that ship, after the first half of Little Women was published.

When the first half sold well enough to merit writing a second half, Alcott originally wanted Jo to end a spinster, but her publisher told her that she'd better have all the girls marry. And Alcott was all about the mercenary interests of publishing because she had grown up very poor and wanted to keep her family from having to experience that kind of financial instability again. So she came up with Bhaer in order to fulfill what was necessary for Jo without having to bow to popular opinion on Jo/Laurie.

So you can see why the creators of the movie thought that adding ambiguity and doubt to the Jo/Bhaer relationship was justified! Even if I disagree with the choice.

Alcott kept writing about these characters after the second half of Little Women; their story doesn't just end there. And the sequels (Little Men and Jo's Boys) are all about the school that Jo and Bhaer run, so there's loads more canon about their relationship, and if the movie creators were willing to draw on material beyond the text of Little Women itself, as they so clearly were when they drew from Alcott's life, why couldn't they have also looked to the sequels? Where it's so clear that Jo and Bhaer have a healthy and happy relationship!

But even if they didn't look to the sequels, if you look at just what's on the pages of Little Women itself, I still think that Jo/Bhaer is a valid and reasonable ship to be into. And I am into it, and the movie is not, and so the movie and I cannot be as good friends as I hoped we would be.

So it goes.

[tiergan-vashir]

What about a cis woman who has androgynous features and hates it and herself for it? I'd give anything for a more feminine face and not look so flat chested. Is this dysphoria too? Do you have any resources for this sort of problem? It seems silly, but when I see trans women having things like facial feminization surgery or going on hormones and getting breasts that are nice, I wonder if a cis woman who experiences the same pain over her androgynous features is in the same boat..

Aww, anon. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling this way. I wouldn’t say this is gender dysphoria as gender dysphoria is involves a persistent sense of unease and conflict between a person’s physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify.  You are a cis woman who identifies as a woman, but wishes she looked more feminine, which is very different.

I would assess how strong your feelings are and if it’s extremely severe, to the point that your distress causes you to be highly preoccupied with it and it is impacting your school, work, home, etc or and you find yourself hiding away, I would consult a therapist. You may have body dysmorphic disorder.If it’s not quite THAT extreme, the I would say that what you’re feeling and struggling with is still totally valid and far, far more common amongst folks than you might think.  Whether you realise it or not, as a woman you are bombarded all the time with powerful systemic, societal pressures to look, dress, and behave in a certain manner every day - and all of that can really destroy how people feel about themselves.

Shoving the rest of this under a cut for length.

Let me just tell you right now - my breasts are fuckin’ tiny.  I know I literally just asked for advice on binders a few days ago, but I’m an A cup at best. Probably smaller.  The slight, itty-bitty ‘cup’ shape on my flimsy bralettes probably give these non-existent knockers more shape than they really have.  Even though I’m buying binders and what not, on a lazy day, I could honestly just slap some pasties on these nip-nops and call it good. They’re that small.

This is amazing and awesome now that I’m busily trying to minimize their existence as much as possible.  I consider myself genderqueer/genderfluid so some days I’ll be crushed over the fact that I can’t be this tall, jacked, majestic Tiergan-shaped dude, while other days I’ll be fine and dandy with looking like a woman, while MOST days I just want to be the purest manifestation of Gender Confusion Inducement™ in other people.  Me wanting binders over my itty-bitty nublet tiddies is just me wanting to go that extra mile to be flat as a fuckin’ wall.

But when I thought I was a cis woman? I felt crushingly ashamed by them.  

Back then, I didn’t really like myself or how I looked. I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror. I HATED looking at myself in pictures. I rarely took selfies, because I thought I was not very attractive.  I thought I was bland and ugly looking.  Society had told me again and again that attractive women looked a certain way, were shaped a certain way, dressed a certain way, etc, and that clearly my unhappiness was based upon the fact that I did not conform to that mold.I thought to be happy and to feel better about myself, I had to double down on the womanliness and become more conventionally attractive. So I’d buy things like massive push-up bras that never felt good, comfortable, and I hated in a desperate attempt to conform. I’d buy these really specific types of shirts and clothes that I didn’t like at all, but thought was what was ‘pretty’ for women. I’d fumble through learning make-up, not because I was interested in the colors, the expression, the creativity, and accentuating my features the way I wanted, but because that’s just what adult women were supposed to do.  I’d buy certain shoes I didn’t really even like, but knew pretty women were supposed to like and wear.

I was trying so damn hard to fit the mold and in the end, it only made me feel worse.  I felt like I was wearing this awkward, uncomfortable shell. People would tell me I was pretty, but I didn’t feel happier. I just felt more miserable, because all this extra emotional and physical labour I was putting into myself just to fit this arbitrary bullshit notion of what an ideal pretty lady was supposed to be like was EXHAUSTING and I didn’t even really like how I looked. I didn’t want to do it all every. single. day of my life.

Realising I was nonbinary was absolutely liberating for me, because I thought  “Well… if I’m not a cis woman and none of the old ‘rules’ matter anymore, …what does handsomeness or beauty actually mean to me?” 

And for the first time in my entire adult life, I defined for myself what beauty and handsomeness truly meant for me.  It was wonderful and liberating.  The first thing I realised was that I didn’t really give a fuck about how big my boobs are. Society did. And BOY HOWDY it was GREAT not giving a flying fuck about that anymore.  I still keep a few bras around for costuming/cosplay purposes, but you could not catch me fucking dead in one otherwise.

I used to hate make-up and find it to be this long, cumbersome chore that I would lose interest in doing every day, but once I got to sit and experiment on how I personally actually wanted it to look on my face - I fucking loved it. I like experimenting with colors and want to play with more. It appeals to the artist in me to play on a canvas even if that canvas is my face.

Fashion as a whole became a wild new experience. I stopped thinking about what I felt pressured to buy because it would make me look a certain way and what I really, really wanted.  I made a pinterest board of fashion goals and pinned every single thing I could find that I liked - regardless of whether it was a man, woman, or theater major dressed up in costume wearing it so I could identify what I actually wanted.  I dyed my hair pink, but got it cut in a more masculine manner and I fucking love the way I look now.

You might be thinking “Yeah, ok, Tiergan, that’s great and all, but I’m not nonbinary.”

But the funny thing I realised was that even though embracing that I am nonbinary led me to this understanding that I could take back my own power and define for myself what attractiveness truly means for me - this was a thing I could have done at any point in my life if I hadn’t been so buried in all those signals from society on what beauty was supposed to be.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you “just accept ur natural self! Don’t change a thing! Body positivity!!!!!” Because: 1) I know when you’re in a place of feeling super down on yourself, that shit doesn’t help at all and just feels extremely inauthentic. 2) I changed A LOT about myself until I was happy with my appearance. I just didn’t change it in the ways that I previously thought I was ‘supposed’ to.

So instead what I’ll say is that if you’re willing and able, I would set aside an hour or two each week to clear your mind, dig deep, and try to visualize a universe in which nothing anyone else thinks about your appearance matters anymore, because YOU are God.  You have a blank slate.  

There is no pressure to look a certain way to be considered beautiful, because you’re God. You decide what is beautiful..  No one in this universe gives a fuck if you have big tiddies, little tiddes, medium tiddies or any kind of tiddy, because right now the universe is a blank slate and all tiddies are created equal in a blank slate.  No one in this universe cares whether or not you have the perfect heart-shaped feminine face or not, because you’ve not told anyone yet what is considered attractive.  You are the decider of beautiful things.

Now imagine that you, as God of this World, descend down to hang with the mortals.  You can’t really change your body without going back to your old weirdo universe back on Earth, but what you can change is your clothes, your hair, your make-up, etc.  Knowing that this universe is yours and you get to decide what beautiful is for yourself, what would you change?  

Remember, you’re God in this universe you’ve made - so you don’t have to impress fucking anybody.  Anyone who says shit to you gets smited or yeet into the sun.  As a god, you get to wear what makes you feel powerful, majestic, and appropriately godlike - what does that clothing look like?  Can you imagine it?  If it’s hard, maybe pull up pinterest and surf around for your god-clothes.  Would you get stylish sneakers or thigh high boots?  Would you get a lady’s power-suit or a lolita dress?  Would you get some neat unique godly jewelry? (If yes, I recommend Etsy. That site is gonna destroy my fuckin’ destory my wallet.)

What’s your make-up like?  Is it tough to imagine?  Pull up another pinterest. Use it to find your god-makeup.  And hey - are you putting this make-up on because it makes you feel GOOD and POWERFUL like the goddess you are, or to impress the mortals? Because again - you’re god. You don’t have to impress jack shit. This make up is for YOU and what makes you feel GOOD and POWERFUL and GODLIKE.

Do you still care about having bigger boobs? (Did you know a fuckload of actual supermodels and Hollywood actresses have small tiddies? So even in THIS universe, you don’t need big boobs to be beautiful!)  Do you still feel unhappy that your face is kind of androgynous according to the dumbasses back in the vastly inferior universe you originally came from?  Or do things in your universe where you’re god feel pretty great?  I hope so, because gods don’t really have time to worry about the funky assumptions of mere mortals. You’re too busy being fabulous and doing godlike shit.

Hope this sort of helps!

[phanomeheart]

Creator tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thanks so much for tagging me @etceteraseverywhere!

This was the first year that I ever posted any fic, so it’s nice/wild to be able to participate! I’m still not 100% sure how I feel about posting my writing, but it did get me to actually fully finish a story (9 of them!) for the first time in my life, and folks have been so generous with their interactions with them, so overall I’d say it’s been a positive experience. 

I also just wanna say a big thank you to @phandomficfests​ and @phanfictionevents​ cuz 8 of 9 of the fics I posted this year were for fests and I don’t think I would have had posted nearly as many (or possibly any) without the external motivation/deadline.

Below the cut cuz it got long, of course:

1. Growing Pains (T, 6.3k): Sometimes Fi thinks about how her life would be different if she had been born a boy.

My first fic and my first fem!dnp fic! I signed up for the fest to give myself a deadline and motivation and then realized writing about dnp as women was a lot harder than I’d anticipated given my own complicated relationship with womanhood. It wound up being 6k words essentially about my own journey with gender identity as told through an afab/genderqueer Phil, but people were very very kind about it and some phanfic authors who I admire a lot commented on it/reblogged it and that was so incredibly encouraging and wonderful as a first time poster.

2. Effort at Speech Between Two People (T, 2.1k): Learning a new lover is like learning a whole nother language, Phil’s mother had told him once.

My weird middle child. I wrote this fic in one sitting after listening to the poem of the same name on OursPoetic and I thought it came out kinda weird, maybe not the easiest to read, but was in the style that I like to read and write in and was just plain fun to write in a way writing hadn’t been in a while. I got a few very kind comments on it though, and I still think it’s an interesting topic.

3. just a piece of paper (G, 2.5k): Phil doesn't think marriage is just a piece of paper.

I wrote this in honor of my biggest phandom pet peeve. I just think Phil is a romantic and thinks that marriage is more than just a piece of paper. Though part of the ending is a little funny/out of date now in the post BIG/whatever Phil’s initialism is universe. 

4. turn a little faster (the world will follow after) (T, 3.7k): It takes Phil longer than perhaps it should to wrap his head around the idea of marriage. Not the concept itself—that’s pretty basic and hard to escape if you’ve ever seen a commercial or watched a movie or spoken to another person ever. One man, one woman, promising to love each other forever, build a family, have kids, make a life. That is how you construct your future, the world tells him over and over, implicitly and explicitly, surrounding him with examples of the right way to do it. It's a roadmap to success and happiness, pre-planned, waiting patiently for him to begin. One he can’t quite seem to find the you are here marker on.

I just love me some gay introspection, what can I say? Another self-indulgent queer one.

5. like a perhaps hand (which comes carefully out of nowhere) (T, 33.5k): Dan is in his second year of uni studying law– or he would be if he hadn’t failed his resits. After being talked into a semester-long leave of absence to get his life in order, he takes a job at the café of a local botanic garden through a flatmate’s family connection. Or so he thinks.

This was for the spring exchange fest and I fell in love with two of the prompts I got, and decided to combine botanic gardens and magical realism. The genre was a bit out of my comfort zone and a lot of it was written very last minute because of some life stuff going on and good old fashioned procrastination, so I’m always worried about how it came out. But a handful of people were and continue to be so incredibly kind and generous with their engagement with it and it has meant the world to me and shown me all of the wonderful possibilities of people being invested in something you created.

I’ve been off tumblr all day and have no idea who’s been tagged (@velvetnautilus? @babethepig? @itsmyusualphannie? @geniusphilester?). Do it if you’d like to! 

[amysgiantbees]

Avengers: Endgame Spoilers

Much like Avengers Infinity War, my feelings on this film can most succinctly be put that overall I found it average to infuriating but there were some truly wonderful parts in between that I’ll always enjoy. I’ll come to this later but here are some notes on my feelings on Avengers Endgame...

THE GOOD

Wanda and Captain Marvel (but I still needed more of them)

Wanda and Captain Marvel fighting Thanos

Steve wielding Mjölnir

Valkyrie on a pegasus

King Valkyrie

Carol’s haircut

Rhodney and Nebula bonding!

Nebula and Tony playing paper football!

Pepper fighting in an iron suit

Sam is Captain America! (He better be Cap in the films, not just this new show, I know the MCU has a history of keeping the TV shows and films separate but please not in this case!)

THE BAD

Bruce dabs. I just can’t.

Clint’s hair and tattoos

Thanos’ ecofascism being justified by the narrative in certain ways like with Cap’s look on the bright side about the environment line.

The time travel plotholes. I do not understand time travel at all in this, feel free to explain if you do. Also, Thanos not having knowledge of anyone due to time travel really took a lot of impact out of the climax for me. My biggest issue with the time travel logic in this though is how can Nebula kill her past self? 

The limited time given to emotional character arcs is a real issue for me. For a movie that goes on for so long, I felt like more attention would be given to this and less to action. Like having characters that had rivalries with members of Thano’s Children never confronting against them again.

Thor never mentions Loki. He never grieves him. He was meant to actually legitimately be dead in this one so it would have been nice if not only there was more emotion and time spent on the scene with his mother but if he said goodbye to Loki during it too. Or told Freya to check in on Loki for him, make sure to tell him he loves him form him. I know she is destined to die but if they’d come earlier in the day and let there be time to do all of this it would have been more emotionally satisfying I think at least.

I HATE fatsuits. The fat jokes and the jokes at the expense of Thor’s panic attacks and mental health are REVOLTING. It’s just sad and frustrating that they decided to throw out all of Thor’s character development from Ragnorok for a few cheap laughs. His fat suit doesn’t even look real. It doesn’t match his neck and face and he doesn’t move right. Shockingly enough you move easier when it’s your own skin. This article and the author sum up my thoughts on all of this really well: https://medium.com/@kivabay/the-centr-of-controversy-cba6f23c692e. Also, Bay has a really great quote unrelated to Thor but also sums up another issue I have with the film and I just want to highlight it here, “ I also couldn’t help but view the movie with the knowledge we pick up on the internet about who is leaving the MCU, making the character deaths feel melodramatically goofy and like executive-level calculations.“

Also, somewhat silly critique but doesn’t Thor need special Asgardian beer to get drunk not “mortal” beer in a can. Damn, Thor was just poorly thought through. And I could almost find him fighting against Thanos with zero weight loss aspiring if the whole idea of Chris Hemsworth portraying him and every other way he was handled wasn’t disgustingly terrible. Fat Thor as an idea is amazing. I’d love to see him portrayed as such in the comics as long as he’s treated with respect. 

They can’t just have the film be cathartically separate and contained they have to hint at more film’s with the “Where’s Gamora” mystery ready to go and Thor joining the Guardians. They have been advertising Homecoming for months and have the next few years of movies already planned, people aren’t under any illusions that there won’t be sequels. Just let it be self-contained. Especially since it’s already so long. 

Just personal taste thing here but the “Avengers Assemble” bit was too cheesy and the ruin of the Avengers mansion was a boring background for the battle.

Dr. Strange was wasted stopping that tsunami. Did they need that? It was such a boring use for him in the battle. This battle had so many heroes but it felt like it really used their powers significantly less creatively together than any other battle previously. 

Why weren't Fury, Carol and Maria all standing together at Tony’s funeral with their arms around each other like everyone else? It was really strange and took some of the emotion out of the scene, they’re close to each other. It could have been such a beautiful moment and tied the whole Captain Marvel “Where’s Fury?” scene together if they had them beside each other with her smiling sadly at him or leaning against him. They’re friends and it would be nice to see Fury further fleshed out and more three dimensional. 

I don’t mind that Loki is dead but it does make me retroactively annoyed that “You... will never be... a god” was seriously his last line. He had nothing nice to say to his brother before he dies? So he really did die trying to use a knife on someone who can take on the Hulk. I hope that at least in his show that’s coming soon he’s genderqueer and given the opportunity to properly show off his magic. I feel like his magic has never been displayed properly or used in particularly interesting ways so far.

I would have rewritten the scene where Banner and Rocket look for Thor. Banner, Thor and Valkyrie’s interactions are stale and strange. It would have been better (so as not to erase all of his character development) if he was still dealing with his PTSD or the loss of his people poorly but was at least trying to help the Asgardians. But then show Valkyrie having to help him and being the clearly stronger leader due to being able to deal with this grief better after having experience working through grief from losing her Valkyries. She could also be helping him with his alcoholism instead of judging him since she has been there! It would have shown her mentor abilities and kingly traits. You could still have him join the Guardians in the end but now he’s just less negligent. Then he isn’t passing a burden for convenience but because he recognizes Valkyrie was there for his people when he couldn’t be and is the better, more loved leader. Instead of what should be a great moment for Valkyrie that she’s shown as earnt and is deserving of it just seems like Thor was like “Well it turns out ruling was too hard for me I’m going to f*ck off to space now look after them for me.” Still, love that she gets to be king. 

Did I mishear her name or is Clint’s daughter not called Kate? Why aren’t we getting Kate Bishop? I know she isn’t Clint’s daughter in the comics but they’ve changed people’s backstories before and after seeing Clint training with a young girl in the trailer I was just really excited for her. I love her character in the comics, but maybe she has a name change here? 

Also, why does Clint go overseas to fight people? I’m sure there are more than enough bad people in America for him to fight for YEARS. There are Neo-Nazis for F*CKS SAKE. It just seems racist to imply he’d have to look in places predominantly occupied by POC to find bad people. Also, that Sword scene was strange. It felt really unnatural and fake like it belonged in a completely different movie. 

Also, little nitpick but I just found it to be a weird moment when that kid Ant-Man talks to didn’t say “What do you mean?” or “How do you not know?” I get not wanting to talk about the snap but how could he not be mildly curious or confused as to how someone seems to be ignorant to the biggest tragedy in world history.

Also, I really would have loved if the final battle had more consequences. More deaths and injuries. I think it would have been more realistic and added more to it. I especially really would have loved it if they had shown Clint getting injured in such a way that his hearing was permanently damaged. It would be nice to finally have him have that important comic book trait. 

Also, that scene where Joe Russo, a straight man, plays a gay man is bullshit. Let us have gay superheroes. That is such a pathetic attempt at representation. Make Loki Genderfluid, make Carol a wLw, Give Okoye and Valkyrie a girlfriend or acknowledge they’re wLw. 

Furthermore, I understand that the shot of all the women at the final battle was probably foreshadowing A-Team but I don’t think the creators realised that, One: it makes it look like they’re trying to hide that they killed the only original female member of the Avengers while giving all the men satisfying endings. Two: that there are A LOT fewer women than men but also that there’s enough of them that more of them really should have been featured before then and had more time spent on them. Just so many women yet so few films focussed on them. Furthermore, for those people who don’t know about A-Team it also just feels like a moment of pandering.  

Look, Black Widow has never been one of my favorite characters but she deserved better. As soon as she was proclaimed infertile in Age of Ultron it was a death sentence because what use is a woman who can’t reproduce. She didn’t even get a funeral. Clint should have died. The snap forced Natasha to fully commit to her found family and lead the Avengers for years. The snap sent Clint into a debatably racist murder rampage. Natasha did something good after the snap it gave her more purpose. Clint’s purpose was to bring his family back and he could still do that by sacrificing himself. It’s honestly far more satisfying to see Natasha get her happy ending than Clint because Clint’s ending is just far too similar to his story in Age of Ultron. It is just hilariously underwhelming when everyone else has an emotional ending just to have Clint’s be a regurgitated version of him retiring with his family in Ultron. Also, Natasha dying for guilt over some vague bad that’s she’s done in her past that we know nothing about is so unsatisfying. This video I feel also sums up a lot of my feelings on this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A81p1N2gnNY&t=649s. Also from a monetary standpoint, not that Disney needs more money, but there’s way more demand for Black Widow films than Hawkeye. Just why Hawkeye, no one gives a sh*t.

More so I’m not against Tony using the gauntlet but I think it got in the way of Nebula having a fully satisfying conclusion to her arc. At least one woman should have had a satisfying, fully realised arc. It would have been great if Nebula got to finally kill Thanos but honestly, I wouldn’t be as mad at it if she hadn’t got wrongfully blamed for doing it by Thanos or had her arc conclude in an otherwise satisfying way. She gets abused further by Thanos for something she never did and never gets an opportunity to even just face him and confront him about ANYTHING. 

Also, Vision is barely mentioned in the film. Which wouldn’t be so frustrating if he wasn’t the reason why an ENTIRE ARMY of predominantly black people was sacrificed in Infinity War. They had to save him because they all apparently cared so much about him but can’t remember to mention him more than once afterward. 

I really hate that they were so scared of spoilers that they didn’t let all of the actors read their scripts ahead of time and cut out massive chunks of their scripts and didn’t tell them who they were playing against. I would rather spoilers than poor acting that ruins the timelessness of a film. This is meant to be epic! 

[inkyardpress]

Celebrate Your Pride with 10 Great Queer Reads

Happy Pride! This month, we’re celebrating the LGBTQIAP+ community with the one thing we just can’t stop talking about: books, books and more books! There are lots of amazing novels out there repping queer voices, telling unique and impactful stories, and filing up bookshelves around the world. These are just a few of our favorite outstanding stories. What are you reading this month?

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages edited by Saundra Mitchell 

Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. 

From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten. 

Featuring stories from: Dahlia Adler, Sara Farizan, Tess Sharpe, Shaun David Hutchinson, Kody Keplinger, Mackenzi Lee, Malinda Lo, Nilah Magruder, Anna-Marie McLemore, Tehlor Kay Mejia, Natalie C. Parker, Alex Sanchez, Kate Scelsa, Robin Talley, Scott Tracey and Elliot Wake. 

All Out is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley 

Fifteen-year-old Aki Simon has a theory. And it’s mostly about sex. 

No, it isn’t that kind of theory. Aki already knows she’s bisexual—even if, until now, it’s mostly been in the hypothetical sense. Aki has dated only guys so far, and her best friend, Lori, is the only person who knows she likes girls, too. 

Actually, Aki’s theory is that she’s got only one shot at living an interesting life—and that means she’s got to stop sitting around and thinking so much. It’s time for her to actually do something. Or at least try. 

So when Aki and Lori set off on a church youth-group trip to a small Mexican town for the summer and Aki meets Christa—slightly older, far more experienced—it seems her theory is prime for the testing. 

But it’s not going to be easy. For one thing, how exactly do two girls have sex, anyway? And more important, how can you tell if you’re in love? It’s going to be a summer of testing theories—and the result may just be love. 

Our Own Private Universe is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Sidekicks by Will Kostakis 

Ryan, Harley and Miles are very different people—the swimmer, the rebel and the nerd. All they’ve ever had in common is Isaac, their shared best friend. 

When Isaac dies unexpectedly, the three boys must come to terms with their grief and the impact Isaac had on each of their lives. In his absence, Ryan, Harley and Miles discover things about one another they never saw before, and realize there may be more tying them together than just Isaac. 

In this intricately woven story told in three parts, award-winning Australian author Will Kostakis makes his American debut with a heartwarming, masterfully written novel about grief, self-discovery and the connections that tie us all together. The Sidekicks is out now. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Runebinder by Alex R. Kahler 

When magic returned to the world, it could have saved humanity, but greed and thirst for power caused mankind's downfall instead. Now once-human monsters called Howls prowl abandoned streets, their hunger guided by corrupt necromancers and the all-powerful Kin. Only Hunters have the power to fight back in the unending war, using the same magic that ended civilization in the first place. 

But they are losing. 

Tenn is a Hunter, resigned to fight even though hope is nearly lost. When he is singled out by a seductive Kin named Tomás and the enigmatic Hunter Jarrett, Tenn realizes he’s become a pawn in a bigger game. One that could turn the tides of war. But if his mutinous magic and wayward heart get in the way, his power might not be used in favor of mankind. 

If Tenn fails to play his part, it could cost him his friends, his life…and the entire world. 

The action-packed follow up, Runebreaker, hits shelves November 27th, 2018. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley 

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. 

The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, but Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. 

While Toni worries that Gretchen won't understand Toni’s new world, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in this puzzle. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together? 

What We Left Behind is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Toil & Trouble: 15 Tales of Women & Witchcraft edited by Jessica Spotswood and Tess Sharpe 

History is filled with stories of women accused of witchcraft, of fearsome girls with arcane knowledge. Toil & Trouble features fifteen stories of girls embracing their power, reclaiming their destinies and using their magic to create, to curse, to cure—and to kill. 

A young witch uses social media to connect with her astrology clients—and with a NASA-loving girl as cute as she is skeptical. A priestess of death investigates a ritualized murder. A bruja who cures lovesickness might need the remedy herself when she falls in love with an altar boy. A theater production is turned upside down by a visiting churel. In Reconstruction-era Texas, a water witch uses her magic to survive the soldiers who have invaded her desert oasis. And in the near future, a group of girls accused of witchcraft must find their collective power in order to destroy their captors. 

This collection reveals a universal truth: there’s nothing more powerful than a teenage girl who believes in herself. 

Toil & Trouble hits shelves August 28th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Diminished by Kaitlyn Sage Patterson 

 In the Alskad Empire, nearly all are born with a twin, two halves to form one whole…yet some face the world alone.

The singleborn: 

A rare few are singleborn in each generation, and therefore given the right to rule by the gods and goddesses. Bo Trousillion is one of these few, born into the royal line and destined to rule. Though he has been chosen to succeed his great-aunt, Queen Runa, as the leader of the Alskad Empire, Bo has never felt equal to the grand future before him. 

The diminished: 

When one twin dies, the other usually follows, unable to face the world without their other half. Those who survive are considered diminished, doomed to succumb to the violent grief that inevitably destroys everyone whose twin has died. Such is the fate of Vi Abernathy, whose twin sister died in infancy. Raised by the anchorites of the temple after her family cast her off, Vi has spent her whole life scheming for a way to escape and live out what’s left of her life in peace. 

As their sixteenth birthdays approach, Bo and Vi face very different futures—one a life of luxury as the heir to the throne, the other years of backbreaking work as a temple servant. But a long-held secret and the fate of the empire are destined to bring them together in a way they never could have imagined. 

The Diminished is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley 

In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. 

Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. 

Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town’s most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept “separate but equal.” 

Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody 

Enne Salta was raised as a proper young lady, and no lady would willingly visit New Reynes, the so-called City of Sin. But when her mother goes missing, Enne must leave her finishing school—and her reputation—behind to follow her mother’s trail to the city where no one survives uncorrupted. 

Frightened and alone, Enne has only one lead: the name Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levi is not the gentleman she expected—he’s a street lord and con man. Levi is also only one payment away from cleaning up a rapidly unraveling investment scam, so he doesn't have time to investigate a woman leading a dangerous double life. Enne's offer of compensation, however, could be the solution to all his problems. 

Their search for clues leads them through glamorous casinos, illicit cabarets and into the clutches of a ruthless Mafia donna. As Enne unearths an impossible secret about her past, Levi's enemies catch up to them, ensnaring him in a vicious execution game where the players always lose. To save him, Enne will need to surrender herself to the city… And she’ll need to play. 

Ace of Shades is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Pulp by Robin Talley 

As if we couldn’t pack any more of Robin Talley’s fantastic works into this list, we have one more than needs to be on your radar. Keep an eye out for Pulp in November 2018! 

In 1955, eighteen-year-old Janet Jones keeps the love she shares with her best friend Marie a secret, but when she discovers a series of books about women falling in love with other women, it awakens something in her. As she juggles her hidden romance with a newfound ambition to write her own story, she risks exposing herself—and Marie—to a danger all too real. 

Sixty-two years later, Abby Zimet can’t stop thinking about her senior project and its subject—classic 1950s lesbian pulp fiction. The stresses of her life fall away when she's reading her favorite book. She feels especially connected to one author, a woman who wrote under the pseudonym “Marian Love,” and becomes determined to track down her true identity. 

Pulp hits shelves November 13th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

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[witchangelnekora]

Something i need to vent about.

Yesterday, my friendo @northeastartist was feeling very down cause some TOTAL FREAKIN’ ASSPIPE decided to be Acephobic towards Asexuals, while at the same time praising her friend for being Biro-Ace and bashing her for being CisHet-Ace. That is NOT RIGHT! And then i saw a post saying that Asexuals aren’t valid in the LGBTQA+ community! WHAT THE CRAP?! That’s what the “A” in that title stands for! 

Guys, i wanted to reach through the computer and absolutely smack this person in the face. Hard. With a hard plastic mixing spoon.

Just because you don’t like sex, it doesn’t make you a bad person! 

Just cause you’re Hetero-romantic, it doesn’t make you a sicko!

Just because Porn grosses you out, It doesn’t make you a monster!

Just because you’re more into cuddling, kissing, snuggling a person and loving them for their personality and just being a normal human instead of loving what’s between their legs, DOES NOT MAKE YOU A DEMON OR NOT VALID!!

I, myself am Bi-Panromantic with a preference for men, and one stigma about being Bi is that people think just cause we are sexually attracted to both Men and Women that we’re gonna be unfaithful whores. BULLCRAP. I’ve had Bi-Friends that are faithfully married to people that made them the happiest person in the world!  Also, We’re not limited to Biological Men or Women, we also love Trans Men and Trans Women, for they’re as beautiful as any person that’s on this planet! It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a Peen or a Love-Clam, both sets, or hell, even identify as an alien that has no parts, we love you for whom you are inside.

My best friend is an amazing girl with art skills, as she made my channel art (and some fantastic Valentine’s Day gift art, y’all should go check her out and check her Redbubble), And she is Asexual, beautiful, and her opinion is just as valid as someone that isn’t Ace. If you think an Ace’s opinion doesn’t matter, Here’s what you should do:

One: Kindly shut the hell up.

Two: Take a roll of Gorilla Tape and rip off a good amount.

Three: Place over mouth and remove once you get it through your thick-ass skull that ALL sexualities are valid and beautiful, regardless of whom they are.

Lemme say this in a way you can understand me.

Gay people are Wonderful people that are full of pride and love! So what if they’re not into girls? Who cares?! They’re happy being what they are, and if you’re a homophobe, There’s the door. Leave. GO.

Bisexuals are Beautiful and we are accepting of other people regardless of what others think! A lot of wonderful people out there are Bi and they’re all just as amazing as anyone else on the spectrum! 

Straight people are cool as well, cause sure, you may love the opposite sex, but i know a LOT of hetero-peeps that are accepting of other genders, sexualities and lifestyles, and they are MAJOR Allies in our community because they understand that Love is Love, and Love is beautiful between all couples, not just man and woman, but Woman/Woman, man/man, among other combos of couples out there, cause the spectrum is wide and beautiful, and they themselves know it! Sure, there’s a lot of homophobes out there, but here’s a fact: Hating will get you NOWHERE in life. All it’ll do is just cause trouble and a loooooooooot of butthurt in the future cause all Homophobes wanna do is bash people for their lifestyle choice and drag them down to their level, making them feel disgusting for what they’ve done all because it doesn’t fit in their “perfect world”. Well, News flash....It’s better to be Unique than be Cookie Cutter. So Straight Allies of the LGBTQA+ Community, Wave your freak flag high and show your pride towards helping others find happiness in their part of the world!

Lesbians are Awesome people that are just as loving as everyone else, because loving the opposite gender is NOT disgusting, it’s a beautiful thing! Hell, did you know some people all throughout history were either Lesbian, Gay or very accepting of other people like that? It was even rumored that Marie Antoinette was a lesbian herself, as she preferred the company of women more than men, and was rumored to have a fling with a Countess!

Asexuals are 100% Valid, beautiful peeps that deserve a LOT more respect.Just because you don’t like sex, pr0n, or even the thought of any of that, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you a person that should be loved, respected for your choice, and accepted just as much as someone that isn’t an Ace! Cuddling, kissing, Snuggling, it’s all just as good if not better! Cause sex isn’t everything, you know. Sometimes you just wanna cuddle up to someone and just unwind with a good book or a movie, without having to feel pressured into something you don’t want to do cause it makes you uncomfortable. NOT EVERYONE LIKES WHAT YOU LIKE, GET IT?! If you like Sex, that’s cool. If you don’t? That’s cool too! Do what makes you happy and comfortable!

Transgender people are Fantastic people, and that you should respect them for whom they choose to be! Trans Men and Trans Women are people just like us and should NEVER be harmed for whom they are!

Gender-Neutral people are adorable people too, cause they too, are valid people and they just wanna be loved by everyone else!

Agender, Cisgender, Genderqueer (and all other gender types that i can’t remember at this moment) people are just as valid and loved as everyone else and you should respect that person’s decision to go by different pronouns.

People that are still questioning their own sexuality are still people! They just don’t know what part of the spectrum they fit into, and that’s all right! It’s their choice to pick what they wanna be! 

Also, being Heteroromantic, Biromantic, Panromantic, Aceromantic, ANY kind of Romantic such as this, is a beautiful thing too, cause everyone has a preference for what kind of person they wanna be with!

What i’m trying to say is: ALL PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF RACE, SEXUALITY, GENDER, BODY TYPE, AND OTHER FACTORS ARE BEAUTIFUL, VALID, AND WILL ALWAYS BE INCLUDED IN THE LGBTQA+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, THEN UNFOLLOW ME NOW, CAUSE I ACCEPT EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF WHOM THEY ARE AS A PERSON! 

To all haters....Such as Cisphobes, Biphobes, Homophobes, Acephobes, or just people that hate people that just wanna live their lives in happiness with the person they wanna be with regardless of their preference in life-path...

-points to imaginary door-

There’s the mother-flippin’ door. Don’t let it hit’cha where the good Lord and Lady Split’cha.  GTFO and take a good long look at yourself. Cause even if you think it’s a “Sin” for someone to love another human being regardless of gender or sexual preference, Then you don’t deserve to be in this community. There are many beautiful people in all religions, all walks of life.

There’s Gay Christians, Bisexual Pagans, Lesbian Christians, Asexual Wiccans, Transgender Buddhists,You can be any sexuality you want, any religion you want, any gender you want, and still be a 100% Valid person in this world.

Me?

I’m a proud Bisexual-Panromantic 29 year old Wiccan-Witch Combo with a wonderful Asexual best friend, and i’ll always fight for what i believe in, because as i said before....

It’s best to be Unique in this world, Than Cookie Cutter and boring.

BOOM.

Mic Drop.

See ya, Nekora Out.