#being a lesbian can be so ….. alienating. idk

[jackienautism]

maybe i’m just being a Bitch about it but like … is anyone sad at how lesbian is mainly used as an umbrella term? like. we don’t even really have our own term

[funnycreatortimetravel]

So the Madoka Magica movie is coming out and there's a lot of speculation about how it's going to end (or rather, be the start of a new series of movies/a show? Idk, it was extremely vague.)

And while I love the idea of Homura and Madoka ending up together because they both deserve some happiness, I can't help but feel like the best ending for Homura at this point is letting Madoka go so she can become a healthy adult (which, let's be real, that's not possible in this world.)

And by "letting go," I don't mean cutting contact or abandoning her, I mean they can still be friends while Homura can become a person who sees herself worthy of living with or without Madoka. Because as much as I love my favorite tragic lesbians, Homura isn't her own person in the relationship with Madoka.

Like, Madoka has a loving family, loving friends, and people cheering her on. And even if she doesn't believe she's good enough to do anything, she still objectively has things going for her, a safety net if you will. And she still has a goal in mind that doesn't involve one specific person, but rather she wants to become someone that people can depend on/wants to help other people (regardless if this is at the cost of herself.) I'm not saying it's a good or even a healthy goal but with some tweaks, I could see the goal becoming something she could work toward as a means of personal growth and not just because she thinks she's useless.

Meanwhile, Homura doesn't even have parents as far as we're concerned.

The only ties she has that we're told about are the catholic school she attended and the hospital she pretty much lives in. No friends, no family, and no aspirations of her own. And because of her circumstances, she really wouldn't be able to. It's no fault of her own. I get why, then, she attaches herself to someone like Madoka. I'm sure ANYONE would attach themselves to Madoka if they were in the position Homura was in.

And then that starts the obsession. A long, tiring journey in which this poor girl sacrifices her mental health, her youth, countless years spent trying to save this doom girl and her doomed friends while she herself is also doomed. She's pretty much made herself Madoka's sole protector while also not allowing herself to even do or enjoy the one thing she wanted in the first place; being Madoka's friend.

It's all but confirmed that Homura hates everything about herself as seen in her backstory and rebellion when she was destroying her labyrinth. Her saving Madoka is the one good thing she thinks she's associated with, so much so that she's OK with dying either to protect Madoka or in a world without her.

Like, the concept of one person being the only reason you continue existing is so unhealthy (note that I'm not saying their relationship itself is, it's just her mindset.) I completely understand wanting to help your friend you know...not die a terrible death, but Homura doesn't think she has anything going for her outside of protecting someone else and that's such a sad thought to me. She thinks of all her past friends as enemies now, and she alienated herself from everyone. She thinks, now, that it's her versus Kyubey, the other magical girls, and Madoka herself. The girl is borderline, if not entirely, suicidal.

I'm hoping so badly that in the next movie, this is the start of healing for Homura (though it probably won't be because Mr. Uro loves his sad/bitter-sweet endings.) I hope this is the start where she's able to piece together who she is outside of wanting Madoka, who she could've been had Kyubey not manipulated her and the other girls into making contracts, had her parents not died, had her body not been as fragile as it was, had her confidence been strong, had she felt she was good enough to befriend and get close to other people without fearing her hurting them or them hurting her.

Sayaka was able to let the bitterness of not being with Kyosuke go, accepting that even though she wanted him, she couldn't be with him and even if she was, she never would've been happy. She was able to realize the flaws in her "ideal magical girl" concept and accept the fact that she's just one person and even though she's not perfect and didn't get the thing she wanted, she's still able to be a hero in her own right in the company of people who actually love and support her because she's Sayaka Miki, not because she's a heroic magical girl.

Mami was able to be honest with herself, similar to Sayaka, that she's not a perfect person, that the perfect magical girl illusion was never her. She's able to admit to herself that she was inherently selfish that all she wanted was friends and family, and that there's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't have to keep up the pressures of being perfect and mature and all-knowing because, at the end of the day, she is still that little girl who almost died in a car crash that claimed her parents' lives, and she has to live with the fact that she didn't and wasn't able to save them even when she had the chance to. And she's able to come to terms with the fact that though she was alone, she didn't have to be lonely. She's able to realize that it's not too late for her and she can make her own family that will stick around with her, flaws and all. And she can be a good role model for her little sister surrogate and also orphan Nagisa, but this time, she can be a realistic big sister rather than an idealistic one.

Kyoko can move past the pain of her family's demise, and unlike Mami, feels as though she is directly responsible for it. She was a naive kid who only wanted the best for her family and yet, by doing the "right thing" her father goes on a massive suicide-homicide rampage and she's left to think that her naivety, that her wanting to do the right thing, was what killed them. But no, it wasn't. It's ok to have hope and to have the desire to help others and do the right thing. While the actions of the wish were undesirable, it didn't change the fact that Kyoko's heart was in the right place and that she could continue to try to help others without fear of it coming back to haunt her. She can let the tense guard she's had up since her family's death and enjoy the little things in life she never got to when she was too poor; food, drink, comfort, and having others around that care about you. While she thought that it was her wish and her misunderstanding of what her father wanted that ultimately killed her family, it's the same desire and intentions that push her to save Sayaka and befriend her and the other girls later on.

Now Madoka is an interesting case because she, like Homura, is sort of trapped in being who they were before they gained powers.

Now that Madoka is essentially back to where she started (unlike everyone else who at least has something/someone in their lives now in Rebellion compared to the OG series where they were missing those intimate connections) again,

she's left to feel like she's missing a key part of herself (only in the OG series, she was missing the confidence she had the in OG timeline as a magical girl whereas, in Rebellion, she's literally the missing part of the Law of Cycles) and you're left to wonder if she'll be satisfied, or will she challenge this new world that seems too good to be true, a world that was made just for her and only her?

And Homura?

Poor Homura.

Being an orphan and having no one, not even doctors or nurses it looks like, be close to you? Being unable to live comfortably due to a physical condition you had no say in? Having to be behind because of said physical condition and then having an inferiority complex WHILE teachers belittle you for things out of your control? So then you consider yourself a burden and truly believe only death and loneliness await you? AND YOU’RE ONLY 14???

And then you think you've met this amazing person, this girl who thinks you're interesting and cool with no ulterior notices, a girl with amazing powers that are as wonderful as her only to have the rug pulled under you and realize that the cost of those powers and your protection is her's and others like her inevitable demise.

So then you attempt to right that wrong because even further than your want to save your friends, you know the system that they're in is objectively terrible and needs to be torn down.

But then you try to warn said friends about the system and all they do is belittle you and admit they're comfortable in something that's designed to kill them before they turn twenty, and when (or even if) they're finally aware of the system and the terrible reality of it, they STILL blame you for not telling them sooner even though you tried your damn hardest? Or even worse, try to KILL you after they find out for themselves?

And then top that off with an oppressive alien race trying to control you and pretty much end your life prematurely or turn you into an immortal Lovecraftian Paper mache creature that looks like it was created by five-year-olds should you fall into despair at the hands of this default depressive system and you'll have to remain like that, killing and trapping people while you have no memories of your life as a human and have to live as an animal of pure instinct and evilnesses until some unknowing other magical girl puts you out of your misery, and the cycle will rise and repeat eternally.

Then not to mention other magical girls who try to "game the system" (which only leads to them dying/witching out even earlier, indirectly harming the girl you're trying to protect) or even worse, the girls see you as competition because they're insecure/power hungry instead of joining you in taking down the system set up so where death is an inevitable thing regardless, indirectly siding with the species that are literally killing them slowly but surely (and yet you're somehow still the problem in their eyes.) And then to add the shit sprinkles to this shit show of life, you have to battle this biblically accurate German clown of a witch that's a bunch of witched-out magical girls mashed together like a Cthulu-esque Ren and Stimpy-type creation (that's also pretty much invincible to everything that you and all of the nukes and missiles you store in a tiny, rinky-dink space-time shield you were pretty much cursed with while everyone else gets a built-in weapon.)

Not to mention the PTSD of having everyone and everything around you die and crumple to bits for 12 years over and over again, failing at every turn to complete the only goal you have for yourself (which isn't even for you, it's just saving another person because you believe you're extensible at that point) and at every twist and turn, you're beaten, bruised, belittled, scared, tired, pushed to the brink and all alone with no one to depend on because you're the ONLY one who can and will remember anything once you have to go back in time.

And then you learn the more you go back in time, the more fate and karma you're attaching to this girl which makes the aliens target her even more because of the level of potential she has. And even worse, you find out that the girl you've been fighting so hard to protect is now an entirely different person, lacking the confidence and outgoingness that made you fall in love in the first place, her desire to become a confident magical girl being unfulfilled because of you.

But you have to play the smaller evil. You have to deter her from making a wish, even if it means inadvertently scaring her away from the idea, even if it means being cold and calculated and harsh because she won't listen otherwise.

You have to crush that confidence because that desire will only lead to her death, but she can't know that because well, you still want her to trust you.

But because you've been trying so hard to scare her away from the idea of becoming a magical girl, she ends up becoming scared anyway and distancing herself from you, meaning you don't even have the comfort of knowing you two are friends anymore.

And even still, all of the other magical girls, including her, always end up dead or turning into witches no matter what you do, leaving you to fight the final boss witch alone and failing every single time because it's just too powerful.

But you can't stop. No matter what, you can't stop. Because stopping means death for you, the girl you love, and the entire world, whether it be because of Walpurgis or Madoka's witch which is only so powerful because of you and your time-traveling shenanigans.

So you do another timeline, and things go wrong like they have for the past 100 timelines so you're just numb to it now, and while you're fighting the boss witch, you get critically injured. And now armed with the knowledge that you'd just be putting an even bigger target on your friend's back, you resolve that your efforts were all in vain and useless and decide to just let yourself witch out because you have no other choice.

Only, you're interrupted by your friend, who's finally ready to put her fears aside and make a wish.

Your biggest fear is coming true and you're powerless to stop it.

So she makes her wish and becomes a magical girl Jesus pretty much and restores hope to every magical girl.

Every magical girl except for you.

She says your efforts are the reason why she was able to make such a powerful wish and thanks you for your service, as if you're an old veteran about to retire, and then she ejects you to a remade world, a world without her.

And you're doomed to fight in this world, the world she gave her life to protect, a world in which only you remember her. You don't let yourself become too close to the other magical girls for fear of losing that connection once the Law of Cycles takes them away.

So you're doomed, essentially. The one thing you've fought to protect is gone forever and there's no one but you left to grieve for her, and you start an endless fight against the new evil creatures in place of witches until you're about to disappear yourself.

But you don't even have the comfort of peaceful passing on because AHA!, that evil alien race wants to you use as a sadistic experiment to inflict suffering on you and the other magical girls while controlling the one saving grace you all had, to restart the terrible system you were trying to run away from in the original world.

So they place you in this fake simulation of happiness and fun and magical girl transformations all for the sake of controlling you and the girl you fought for and thought was safe.

So you take matters into your own hands and resign to destroy the labyrinth, even if it means your death, hoping the other magical girls put you out of your misery once and for all.

But if you die, then who would be left to protect that girl you love so much?

So you take matters into your own hands and override her power, creating an idealized world in which everyone can be happy at the cost of making all of your past friends your enemies later.

Even the girl you love and gave your life for time and time again.

All for the sake of keeping her safe once more from not only herself since you pulled a piece of her from the Law of Cycles, but also those terrible aliens who can only think about themselves and their sick curiosity.

I so badly want a happy ending for Homura, and I'm so hoping that that happy ending is one without magic or Karmaic fate or the weight of 26 years of repeated time travel or having to save her girlfriend from a terrible demise or dooming herself to magical Jesus type limbo for eternity all while she's the only one who can remember.

Outside of Madoka, what does Homura enjoy now in Rebellion? What were her dreams, if she had any? Her aspirations? What was her childhood like (even though we know it was lonely) was there anything in her life that even remotely made her feel that living was worth it?

If and when she becomes an adult, what will she be like? What career what she want to pursue? What interests her? What does she want the most for herself? Power? Fame? Company? Comfort?

And will it even be possible for her to enjoy anything outside of Madoka so long as she attaches her self worth to this one, ordinary girl?

Will she succeed in protecting her at the cost of herself? At the cost of anyone else excluding the kyubey?

Will she give up ultimate control over the world, or will she double down; ok with challenging her friends-turned-enemies all for the sake of her love?

And if so, will she succeed as Madoka's sole, eternal protector forevermore, or she be dethroned and killed, left to rot in a labyrinth of her self-hatred and mistakes? (God, I hope not.)

Or...will she finally be saved and released from the shackles of fate, time, and space so she can live her life as a normal girl, a life she wasn't granted even before she made her wish?

My excitement for this movie is beyond real.

[unb1nding-t-b0y]

Transphobia/ micro aggression idk story cuz I see a lot of posts talking about transandrophobia but not as many stories about experiencing it. (Maybe it's just my Tumblr algorithm but regardless posting will hopefully help that too)

Anyways I'm 21 recently started transitioning and I've been performing at a drag place for a little bit. This elder queen (I don't even remember her name I think she was trans but with drag queens that have spent their lives In Drag it can be difficult to tell even when you hear them talk about themselves because many of these people kinda use male and female names pronouns etc interchangeably etc. I'll use she -her pronouns in the story because I'd rather not accidentally misgender a trans women and ik she doesn't care about being she/hered even if she is a cis gay) Anyways she asks bout me and I tell her my name, pronouns, and identity as one does in queer spaces. Upon hearing I was a trans masc she immediately feels the need to tell me the story of the time she *gasp* almost slept with a trans man. The story goes like this.

Shes at a drag night in some bar and a drag king approaches her and they hit it off. Shes into him and vice versa. They ditch the bar and make out in a car somewhere and when it's getting hot and heavy the dude pulls his strap out and tells her he wants to fuck her. All standard shit. But she goes on and on about how surprised and disgusted she was at both the fact that she's been fooling round with a "woman" and how off-putting it was to even suggest a BOTTOM get fucked with a dildo. She picks up. A. Drag. King. And gets surprised when he's trans. If a lesbian went to a drag night and picked up a trans woman and reacted in the same way people would call her an idiot for not bothering to have the critical thinking skills to consider that maybe that person performing gender up there is performing a different gender than they were assigned at birth. (Side note if you're gonna pick someone up without knowing anything about them you can't be mad about surprises. I swing both ways so a surprise is just fine for me but if you have a severe genital preference maybe fucking ask people before you're making out with them and wanting to fuck. Sorry you hate dildos but you should have checked, and honestly even if it's a cis dude you should at least try to verify that they get tested + use protection etc

Unfortunately the majority of drag kings I've run into have been CIS men. The place I'm in is very supportive and kind to cis men doing bare minimum performances (no choreography, no makeup, usually the dude just takes his shirt off at some point and that alone is enough to be praiseworthy. Or he wears a suit stands around and barely lip-syncs ) whereas drag kings that aren't cis or arent men are more often than not treated as outsiders.

The story also cemented what I was afraid of that ultimately I was viewed as an invader of the space. That for some reason cis queens and cis kings are more acceptable in a space that was pioneered by trans women and drag queens. The trans drag shows Ive gone to haven't had any trans men in them unless they are open call. It's hurtful it's alienating and it's frustrating. I AM STILL TRANS. IF YOUR TRANS INCLUSIVE SPACE ISNT INCLUSIVE OF ME ITS NOT INCLUSIVE. It's frustrating that as a trans man when I enter "trans friendly gay bars" I'm often treated like an annoying presence getting in the way of everyone else's dicks only zone. Sorry I don't have a cock but that shouldn't be a requirement to occupy these spaces and you can't call yourself trans inclusive when you really mean just cis gays and trans girls. At the time I couldn't really articulate how fucked up what she said was so I just kinda said some non offensive topic change and moved on but like most of the other queens ignored or avoided me and that moment I figured out why I always felt like the odd one out. Because I was.

[the-lark-ascending69]

I'm sorry but I have a very real problem with Vickie as a character. A fan-favorite character is revealed to be queer in the previous season and gets a love interest shaped appendix with no plot relevance or personality, created only to be Robin's trophy girlfriend, in a way that is so painfully and obviously different from how they did it when they tried to make a new character entirely to give her a love story with an already existing main character.

I'm talking about Robin herself, and how, despite not having the deepest character arc in S3, she still had some meat on her bones. She still had some stuff to work with. She was actually important and involved with the plot and had real chemistry with her would-be love interest, Steve. Making her a lesbian at last second pretty much saved both her and Steve's characters and made the Scoops subplot, the only redeemable subplot of S3, actually salvageable. By recontextualizing Stobin with that revelation, you go from a forced, heteronormative/amatonormative "love story" with mysoginistic undertones (because what are frmale characters if not trophy wives for male characters!) and 1) you give Robin actual stuff in her life that has nothing to do with Steve, turning her into a real character on her own, yet also shows why their friendship is so valuable to her, giving her a mini-arc in the process about overcoming isolation, alienation and loneliness, and 2) you wrap up Steve's arc the way his character clearly needs to be wrapped up - by moving on from his immature pursuits of women as romantic/sexual fulfillment and his highschool persona constructed on that, and embracing maturity by working on himself with the help of the people who challenge him the most, his platonic bonds (Dustin and Robin). Like I'm being 100% serious when I say making Robin a lesbian somewhat saved season 3.

But you can tell the brilliance of that move did NOT come from the Duffers' mastermind because they couldn't even attempt to replicate their unexpected success with Robin and Vickie. Because even before Robin was made into a lesbian, she still had SOMETHING. Vickie has nothing. She's a non-character. And it's interesting to note the difference in treatment when it comes to straight male characters vs. queer female characters. You can make the case that Max's introduction in S2 followed a similar pattern to beta!Stobin - new character paired up with pre-existing character. But you wouldn't say Max was added just to give Lucas a girlfriend, because even if her plot relevance in S2 was rather lackluster, she still had... so much more than even Robin in S3, and she's simply uncomparable to Vickie. She feels like her own person right from the start. We know the Duffers like to add wayy to many characters, making the show feel crowded and inevitably leaving a few characters behind, but when they add new characters in a given season, they're actually pretty good at making us fall in love with them quickly. Max, Robin, Eddie, hell even Billy if you're into that - like I said before, there's always some work that goes into them that makes you care about them.

Sure, there are less important characters that don't get half the effort put into them - Heather, Benny, idk, Barb's parents? And many others I can't remember right now. Not every character needs to be a fan-favorite.

But none of these guys were a main character's love interest. Not even for like, a second-row main character like Robin. Lucas gets a girl and she gets proper character development. Steve was originally intended to get a girl and she gets plot relevance, screentime and charisma (and a bit of character development pre-coming out too). Robin gets a girl and... it seems like Robin and her girl don't matter that much.

Which makes me question, why give Robin a love interest at all if they weren't going to do anything about it. My guess is that, well, she's a lesbian, so of course she gets to kiss girls. Character arc? What is that? Just watch her gush over a girl without last name and not care about anything else for most of the season. The writers just didn't know what to do with her now that she's no longer gonna be Steve's trophy girlfriend. Just throw in a poorly put together gay subplot, because everyone knows gay people only get to kiss other gay people and there's nothing else about the lesbian experience worth talking about (like, idk, the loneliness? The alienation?). I'm of the belief that, if you're gonna half-ass it, don't write a romantic subplot at all, regardless of the characters' genders and sexuality. But what bothers me isn't a shitty romantic subplot. It's the difference in treatment that the queer characters get vs. their straight counterparts.

And it bothers me because it could have been fixed SO easily! You get three options:

Give Robin a character arc that's not a romantic subplot. That doesn't mean she doesn't get to have a crush, but it should be in the background. My idea would be to make it about her, Nancy and Barb, and their old friendship + Robin's sense of alienation. Robin learning the truth about Barb's death, and her and Nancy helping each other heal. Robin and Nancy becoming friends through long conversations about their feelings, through which Nancy gets a sort of "second chance" at having a friend again and Robin gets to connect with someone who initially hated her in her own special way. The point is to not make r0vickie obviously endgame, EVEN if it turns out to be that way next season, because if it's obviously endgame it suddenly begs for a deeper development and the lack of it becomes a problem. An easy solution would be to give Robin multiple crushes, to signal at how unserious they all are at the moment.

Give Robin a love story with a newly introduced main character. And the obvious option is *rolls drums" genderbent Eddie! Or Vickie in Eddie's place. Best and easiest solution imo. It may sound weird but if you think about it, it all makes sense - plot relevance, character development... only problem would be killing your gays if you squint, though Robin would be alive and ready for a new character arc next season, as a changed person. Sad, angry, possibly seeking revenge and seeking to assert herself as a threat after hiding and running her entire life. Robin's feelings are suddenly plot relevant now. I'm picking Eddie here (or rather, his role) because he's the most important one out if all the new S4 characters, and the one that spends time with the group the most. It's clean, minimalistic and practical.

Give Robin a love story with a pre-existing main character, i.e Nancy. As a ronance shipper, I maintain that pairing up Nancy and Robin would have been original and unexpected in the best way. I feel like I don't even need to explain why this would have been a good idea - tons of people already have. Mostly, I want to lament the impossibility of this option, which links directly to the point I'm trying to make.

Robin was never going to be paired with a main-main character, old or new, because queer relationships on-screen need to be pushed to the sides as to not interfere with or threaten the straight main characters. Nancy, as the main girl, was never going to get a romance with a girl. Vickie was never going to get the centrality that Eddie got. Straight relationships get to be taken seriously, even if they're writen stupidly, like whatever the fuck happened with stancy and jancy in S4. Queer relationships don't get to be more than silly forgettable subplots. Queer characters like Robin need to be inobtrusive. She could never fall in love with Nancy, even if one-sided-ly, because that would create a conflict straight audiences don't want to see.

And if a queer character DOES fall in love with a main straight character, like Will, it's all meant for pointless suffering. Not the kind of suffering that's vital for a character arc, or the kind that gives depth to a character. It's not a kind of suffering that leads them to change, to take any given decisions that they wouldn't otherwise have taken. It's not a suffering that could possibly interfere with the straight main couple's happiness. It's not a pain that causes conflict. Queer love and pain doesn't get to be part of the conflict in straight-dominated stories. So Robin can never fall in love with someone from the front-row sphere and Will suffers pointlessly, even though that pain has no real effect on him.

[missinconsistent]

Long rant

Seen so many tweets about Till and Mizi, and whether Till really liked her or not based on some leaked statements from Vivinos' patreon. And it's annoying tf out of me because the discourse has so much unaddressed biphobia and misogny.

BIPHOBIA

People trying to twist words as "See, Till's feelings aren't real" when Vivinos said his crush on Mizi was "boyish" and "innocent" is so annoying. Whether his feelings are profound or superficial, a crush is a crush. Why are you so keen on invalidating Till's feelings toward Mizi? Why does it bother you so much that Till has a crush on Mizi when that's always been a big part of his character? Why is it so wrong that Till could be attraction to someone of the opposite gender? Bi and pan people exist.

Mizi could also be bisexual. Idk if it's ever been confirmed by Vivinos if Mizi likes only women, so correct me if I'm wrong. But sometimes I feel like the adamant "Mizi is lesbian so you shouldn't ship her with Till" is sometimes said to further invalidate Till's bisexuality and his interest in Mizi. It's like saying if Mizi is lesbian, then Till's crush is not "real," when that's not how it works even if Mizi does only like women.

I don't ship mizitill, and I do see Till's feelings as someone growing attached to an idol. But idk, I feel like the mizitill hate can come off as biphobic when it's harmless and it kinda makes sense why some would ship the two. The fact that mizitill is assumed to be a "straight/het ship" opposing mizisua or ivantill proves that some of yall don't think queer relationships can exist between people of the opposite gender.

MISOGNY

Another big reason why people want to invalidate Till's crush on Mizi is because it conviniently keeps Mizi out of the way from Till's story. The way some (ivantill) fans are so adamant about sidelining Mizi is so obviously because they do not like Mizi being the protagonist, nor her proximity to Till as if she's "obstacle" in their own interpretated narrative.

Final wasn't just about Till. It was also about Mizi. It wasn't just about Till's trauma revolving around Ivan's death. It wasn't just about Till's feelings towards Mizi. It was also about Mizi wanting to save her one and only remaining friend. It was also about her being happy to see him again just as much as he was to see her, only for that to be taken away. Both were taken away from each other; whether it be as friends, possible lovers, or an idol and her biggest supporter; either way, it was about Mizi just as much as it was about Till (if not more so). So it does reek of misogny when some fans only frame the narrative to be about Till and view Mizi as secondary or being in the way of it.

At the end of the day, if you really only care about Alien Stage fulfilling your favourite characters that you're crossing boundaries, twisting Vivinos' words, and harassing fans for their own interpretation, then please get a grip. You can ship who you like and engage with headcanons and fandom discourse, but please be mindful of what you say and know that Vivino is still a small creator who blew up in popularity suddenly. She has been going above and beyond making this series that is very different from anything she's made before. It's not appropriate to twist HER characters to fit what you want out them when 1) she leaves things open for interpretation; and 2) she has her own plan on the way they're written.

[batsylikeme]

so here’s my silly little rant/opinions on the new doctor who season

if what i say pisses you off just keep scrolling mary i don’t have the energy to deal with negativity rn

so firstly i don't wanna talk abt how the new doctor regenerated okay that made absolutely no sense to me. idk why even 10 came back as well like ig donna's story was left "untold" ….but so is every other companion’s?

and idk how they split??? i really don't understand how they can do that but it’s aliens so whatever.

im also not gonna go into the christmas episode or the baby episode i...dont wanna relive that.

so!! i love the doctor i think he’s so fun and hip and his style is amazing.

personally i think the fact that he doesn’t have a set outfit is bc he’s trying to figure out who he is, which is always so exciting as the viewer going on this journey with him.

and ruby is awesome as hell!! low key fuck you writers for not making her a lesbian ( i mean she has the eyebrow slit and everything you should be ashamed).

also cool background story i love that she's interesting and a mystery. plus when villains are like "who...are you" that's always so dope.

i think that the "family" of the different "gods" is really cheesy but GOD i loved jinx they did so fucking amazing their performance was everything. i want them to act in every show ever honestly.

with that being said.. that episode specifically wasn’t my favorite, it was a cool concept but idgaf abt the beetles so 😭

and in that episode when the doctor ran away and hid?? that was new to the doctor that we know and i was like “yeah let’s go we’re gonna watch his character develop!”

so you would think it would build up to some sort of solution bc the doctor is tryna figure out who he is and that's gnarly love it

….then they DIDNT?

they didn't do anything with that?!?? at least that i was able to notice?

okay but after the jinx episode the rest of the episodes were actually fierce!

the landmine one had some really cool dialogue moments especially with the bickering like love i'm obsessed. ruby was also really cool and i love how much she cares about the doctor and how she wasn’t scared. i think that says a lot about her character. not to mention i think having her so in awe of the planets was a really good choice bc that reaction is so human and i love it.

buttttt the other characters were like mad infuriating which may have been the point? and throughout the episode it was so tense and nerve racking but the end was so anticlimactic. i loved the idea, and i loved that the dad was able to save the day (even tho i wanted the doctor to save the day but whatever) but i wanted MORE. i wanted the doctor and ruby to go into town, or to see the government and face them and call them out on the war! the fact that it was in one area the entire episode was just not it, me no likey.

the ruby centered episode was AWESOME.

that one was so unsettling (in a good way) and it was sooooo cool to see her like basically save the world and then she dies but BOOM they're back when the episode first started. i loved it, so peak doctor who timey wimey stuff

even tho i'm still a little confused as to if the lady was ruby? but whatever i still really enjoyed it i honestly have no cons on this episode it displayed what kind of person she is perfectly.

next, the bridgerton episode was fun! love the gayness they even kissed and they flirted it was so fierce. and ugh ruby’s character just keeps getting better and better honestly shes so fun and it’s so easy to root for her.

…but… the dialogue wasn’t good in this episode….at all. especially having the aliens say the word ‘cosplay’ took me out of the fantasy completely

also side note but not really-

what always impressed me growing up watching doctor who was that even back in 2005 the alien makeup was always so FIERCE like cunty boots down house houston bc it's makeup centric!

it also allows talented people to show off their skills and add really personal features to the actors who are playing the aliens. but nowadays they rely on the cgi so much that it just doesn’t seem believable and honestly it doesn't look good anymore. like mentioned before with makeup you can use the actor’s features to your advantage which creates the perfect illusion.

makeup + a LITTLE bit of cgi is the way to go and i don't get a fuck if it's more expensive ur a fucking successful ass company you have the money now USE IT

the episode itself was good until the very end when rouge sacrificed himself and then the doctor was like "i move on that's what happens" like bruh

by having him say that, it honestly makes you think that all of the losses the doctor has endured is just moments of his past, and that he’s moved on

like no i want the doctor to be angry, to be motivated!!

and that's what i think this doctor lacked.

there was no motivation or drive for him, which is so fucking stupid bc the actor is amazing.

the episode that ended with the doctor experiencing racism for the first time…you can tell that the actor put his whole heart and soul into his performance (especially the scream). he was unleashing a whole new part of his doctor and it was absolutely perfect.

so why not use that to give the doctor more motivation, more anger? seeing the doctor not being able to move on, to be selfish at times bc that makes him feel human. which would make sense BC!! he has spent so much times with humans and earth is important to him.

moving on; one of the biggest things that made this season an issue was that they cried every. single. episode.

when you only get something every once and a while it makes that thing so much more precious. the doctor only cries like once a season, and when he does it's like actually thrilling bc you don't get that side of him a lot.

and usually it's with a lot of anger bc the doctor is angry!! we've been through how many seasons of the doctor suffering?? i mean the man literally blew up his own planet. he's been thru the ringer.

there are so many episodes of the doctor not having the best morals, of him letting the villain die bc of his own selfish intentions. he's not supposed to be a hero, and i think that’s also what makes the doctor so compelling.

another con was the dialogue. one of my biggest tv / movie turn offs is when they say what they’re doing. and not in the super impressive like monologue way but in the simple way of being like "i'm cooking" like mary yeah i see you doing that??

and this season used that a lot. and again NOT in the cool monologue saving the day way speaking of that, no cool monologues? none? nada?

the best part of doctor who is when the doctor goes against all odds and saves the day with that sexy smirk and has the coolest monologue with the kick ass music in the back and during it gives you goosebumps! it also allowed the actor to put forth a lot of emotion into their performance and allowed them to build who their doctor is.

despite all of that, i did really enjoy the episode with ruby growing old and the racism episode. the fact that they didn’t have to say it was perfect and i think was a really good choice bc it was a surprise factor, especially with the doctor’s reaction. when they brought in a random character to save the day and him be so unlike the rest of his race and then kill him is always gonna be classic trope, bc my sister and i were GAGGED. perfect, absolutely perfect.

however. the season finale can go fuck itself.

UNIT is so cheesy now, and it feels so unreal and silly which i think is stupid. they’ve had this facility for so long so the fact that it is unserious now is lame. it feels really fake whenever they're trying to be serious and sciency, which is not the way to go when ur a literal army based facility.

anyways back to the season finale-yeah it was cool to have a throwback especially with the fact it was “the one who waits” that was gnarly! however,,, when sutukh whatever his name was literally kills the entire universe…it didn't feel like it??? it happened so quickly it didn't have that shock value it was supposed to and i was actually confused.

i did love the throwback to the ruby episode so it made you feel like it was tying that together which is nice!! give them some recognition yay!!

now let’s talk abt the whole plot with Ruby’s birth mother.

the build up of her real mother i mean it's been every episode when they mentioned it. in the first part where they were in the time window, that was giving me the creeps! i loved that it was scary and confusing and i couldn’t wait to figure it out!

so when the birth mother of ruby, the woman that even the god of death was infatuated with, the woman that the doctor couldn't figure out, the woman that was stuck in some sort of time thingy…………..is just a regular woman? its just some teenager who got knocked up and gave away her kid? that's it?

i've been getting edged this entire fucking season just for this?

if you enjoyed that it was a regular person i get it! it’s a throwback to whenever the doctor made his speech about how no one is ever just unimportant, which i do love and appreciate.

the whole reason she's important is bc the unknown is the most powerful thing which honestly i agree. my biggest fears are always the unknown. so yes absolutely i get it….but….are you...are you kidding me?

and then ruby leaves? ruby is done traveling with the doctor? i just. ugh.

there was so much potential and i’m just so empty now.

yes it had its cool moments, but im honestly so heartbroken and disappointed with how it turned out like, some bitch on tumblr could have written this season better than this.

i really really really hope the next season is better, at this point it’s just the writing. so get it together writers!! Ncuti is a phenomenal actor he is so fun and his range is so raw and captivating. not to mention Ruby! i’m really sad she’s leaving so soon, she was really fun and complimented the doctor well.

i can’t wait to see what’s next, and honestly no matter what i’m gonna watch doctor who bc it’s so special to me <3

[ghostorbz]

INVADER ZIM HEADCANONS BECAUSE. YAAAYYYYY

!! some zadr !!

Main characters:

-Irken show affection by entangling their antenna together. So Zim wraps his antenna around Dibs hair spike

-Zim shoplifts candy from the store (and Dibs fridge) other times he gets Gir to steal stuff

-Once Dib ate cup noodles for 3 weeks straight. He hasn't done it since

-Dib still has the snarl beast

-He's also very good at drawing, most of his drawings being of him and Zim

-Dib probably gets dizzy when he stands up too fast

-Gaz and Tak like playing games together, Tak is super bad at them though

-Gaz is really into robotics, that's why Professor Membrane doesn't pressure her into science like he does with Dib. In fact she programmed her "security" plushies all by herself

-Gaz HAS and WILL doxx people

-Gir and MiMi are very lady and the tramp coded

-Gir would be best friends with Jenny Wakeman

-Gir CONSTANTLY steals drinks, not only from people he knows either. Like in a restaurant he will just take a big sip of someones drink and walk away

Other characters:

-Zita is a theater kid, she puts the most effort in school plays compared to everyone else

-Carl has literally anything and everything in his beanie. Need a spare pencil? He's got it. Need a notebook? It's in there. Need a bag of chips? You know he has it. But he won't ever give it to you. Like Pinkie Pie except Carl isn't helpful

-Gretchen actually can tell really good jokes, she just doesn't tell them

-Jessica and Letty are lesbian I swear to god they are

-Poonchy is a lot like Tobias from the amazing world of gumball except maybe a little less mean

-Mr. Elliot is Ms. Bitters son, he likes being around her so he got the same job as her (despite her protests)

-Mr. Dwicky probably killed that guy in the vents. Among us imposter ass

-Miyuki and Sporks tallest uniforms seem to be slightly different than Red and Purples, the slight adjustments are there to prevent Zims monsters from eating them

General:

-Hugs from behind are very beloved since you're basically hugging their PAK which is like, their everything

-Irken relationships are heavily looked down upon until they are officialized

-Tallest DNA is used for reproduction by being put in a lil tube until a smeet develops

-Tallest colors are passed down (I don't reaaally headcanon this but I think it's a cute idea)

(Not super invader zim related, but it's one of my favorite headcanons)

-Alien hominid landed on earth after the Irken empire took over his planet. He really hates Zim

(I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT ALIEN HOMINID so like, sorry if I'm ignoring already established lore idk)

[sidebaxolotl]

Do you know of any good resources for dealing with gender dysphoria from a side B or Y Christian angle (i.e., not affirming sin or encouraging transition?) It's not huge in my life but sometimes it comes up and I wish I had more advice for dealing with it. A lot of the stuff I find is unhelpful because it's just plainly restating the rules with how Christianity doesn't condone gender ideology with no practical advice, is in that "how to talk to your friend who has this issue" pov, or just kinda goes "lol pray about it idk". I 100% know and stand by that biological sex is biological sex and don't think it's possible to change to the opposite sex, nor do I really want to... so it's not a matter of needing to persuade me, but it doesn't change that I still have feelings of stress and of not really living up to or fitting in with womanhood. When I'm around other women it can be really difficult because I feel so profoundly different when we should be similar. TIA

Sorry this took so long, I took the time to talk to a couple of people who had dysphoria in the past and some who didn't to get some insight.

Both the people I had talked to who had it had cited porn as a major reason why they developed it in the first place so if thats not ur experience then maybe this wont be as helpful for you 😅

They did bring up a good point that assessing where you think your dysphoria comes from from a psychiatric standpoint could help you figure out how to deal with it and i was given this link:

https://oncurrentevents.substack.com/on-gender-transition-and-psychiatric-disorders

Like for example it was pointed out to me that gd presents a lot like body dysmorphia (specifically, like eating disorders and stuff) so u might be able to use whatever coping mechanisms are used for that to help. It also seems to be a prevalent phenomenon in autistic and adhd individuals so perhaps addressing those things if you have them would help.

I was also linked to this book, the friend in question had remarked that it had helped a lot of the women he knew:

https://a.co/d/6DNWdA2

The guy I talked to said therapy had helped him as well as support from God/ his family but finding non affirming therapists that have a nuanced view on things is extremely difficult, esp if you want a Christian one. Him and I were extremely lucky in that way.

The one woman i spoke to said she quit porn and sobered off gd feelings once she realized transitioning wouldnt truly make her a boy.

I did want to be a boy when i was really young but im not super sure that counts? Idk.

For me what helped was realizing a lot of what made me not want to be a girl at that time was just a reaction to stereotypical gender roles and sexism towards women. Once i started challenging those perceptions and the ways my brain was affirming them i became way more comfortable in my body.

I also had a similar realization as sibling that I'd never truly be able to be a boy if i tried to alter my body. I could wear blue and be the night in shining armor and be a hero and still be a woman, yknow?

Also a lot of it was me being very gay and not realizing it lmaooo

I can def relate to not really fitting in with women--particularly in Christian settings I'm typically the only one who isnt hyperfemme and it can be a bit alienating.

Realizing i wasn't straight kinda helped too since the lesbian perception of womanhood is a lot more fluid than its straight counterpart. Not saying to "go gay" if you aren't but maybe looking into butch and gnc communities and framing your self-perception in that way might help?

If there are any other side b dysphoric folks reading this feel free to chime in with your own tips/resources in dealing with this stuff please!!

[sabaramonds]

reverse 1999 genderism. i havent played past 1.6 cuz im NA so 1.7+ is based purely off vibes and out of context clues from cn gamer posting some more detailed elaboration:

the 'cisgender but something is going on' category can mean different things depending on the character. theyre raised in a cult so have not thought about it (mesmer jr) they are, for their time period, gender-non conforming and this shapes the way others perceive them (yenisei wears pants. her mother is probably despairing that her daughter is some man-thing. no shes just a lesbian who doesnt want her legs cut up by plants when shes scampering around the wilderness.) or their gender is inextricably tied to their sexuality (vertin kakania etc) so on and so forth

i hc sotheby as intersex and i have a fic i want to write about this + her & medicine pocket (canon intersex gender cannibal) but idk when ill get to it cuz i have like 30 other things to write atm but its cooking

cristallo is too busy in chemo to think about her gender or sexuality

flammy being transgender makes her misgendering ezra for 2 weeks even funnier. iconic bit from that patch genuinely

i think isolde could actually go down to the 'something is going on' category but i will have to report back after 1.7. oomf and i are going to watch tosca to prepare ourselves. im ready for doomed lesbians. the posts i see from cn players are so fucking ominous

voyager being a literal alien space horror cosplaying as a normal human girl is so fucking funny to me forever

i think that twink from zimas anecdote can go into category of 'reached gender confrontation phase of self-exploration' and stopped engaging' category. does he have a name. i want to meet him again. please

'what does that category even mean' it means they stopped engaging. maybe in another 20 years they will circle back. maybe they wont. who knows. its not my business

i actually think jessica should go into gender cannibal category but i closed the tiermaker and i dont want to go back and fix it so just imagine it for me now ok mentally slot her up there. she is after all only a "girl" because she loves blonney who is a girl so she shaped herself after what she knew. i love you yandere lesbian girl deer thing

regulus is the girl of all time forever

i saw the 2.0 trailer and i think joe is also transgender at the grocery store but i dont know. i dont know anything.

and thats my re1999 thoughts on gender. for now.

[sol-consort]

Okay, me again. I was watching more of those modded gameplays again this time it was Tali's and OMG SHE TAKES OFF HER MASK?!?!?!?! That's so crazy!

(P.S. Also idk if this is true or not and I'm too lazy to check rn but I saw in the comments of that video that the game was gonna allow more same sex relationships but then Fox News threatened to get the game banned and also the whole commotion about femshep and Liara? Like, I'm sorry?? Can queer people have one fucking thing, please?)

(P.P.S. I think Tali was gonna be one of the characters that both male and female shep were allowed to romance, and that's why I think there's like romantic dialog left over even as femshep)

Sadly the Fox News controversy is true

ME1 released in 2007 and this segment aired in 2008, it contained a lot of false information about how explicit the sex scenes were, causing a massive backlash from the general public. Liara's romance was especially demonised.

Bioware had done queer characters and romance before, but it was more on the subtle side with games that never got much publicity to begin with. So to put a lesbian romance on the same level and seriousness as the other two straight romance options was blasphemous in people's eyes at the time.

There were rumours about ME1 Kaidan being bi but then scrapped because of maleshep romance dialogue lines people found in the gamefiles, but bioware claims that it wasn't cut content, just a mixed up script that got sent to his voice actor.

Notably, in ME2, there is a huge lack of main queer relationships. Liara wasn't added until the DLC, Kelly is an npc that doesn't have a route. Sleeping with Mornith causes a game over screen and she is an optional recruit that you've very discouraged to pick by the game.

All the main relationships were gutted and scrubbed from any hint of queerness. Thanks to Fox News, Jack, Tali, Thane, Miranda, and Jacob had dialogue lines and romance flags for same-gender Shep.

Jack took the biggest hit, however, as she was meant to be THE bi rep, but the fox news segment made Bioware pull the plug and turn her straight last minute. Her femshep romance was practically done.

In ME3, they did listen to the community, and Kaidan was turned bi thanks to the mix-up lines accidentally recorded in ME1. Plus getting an exclusively gay/lesbian romance option.

Steve and Samantha are more well-rounded characters than Kelly, they contain more depth and actual personality...but, they do fall short in comparison to the rest of the romance-able characters. The game considered their romance a main route unlike Kelly who still let you go have other relationships, you could "Lock in" with both of them.

A huge part of why they don't feel as important is because you can't take them on missions with you, they're stationary set pieces almost. The crew fighting alongside you helps create a special bond, why even EDI feels closer to the player than both of them despite her being in a relationship with Joker.

So besides Steve and Samantha, Liara and Kaidan remain the only gay romance options in the Mass Effect Trilogy.

-

Final note: I really like how Thane—a deeply spiritual and religious character—was supposed to be queer without it creating conflict within his belief system. It helps resonate how different the aliens' culture is, how homophobia could be a man–human–made concept in the Mass Effect world. How it's only us who used religion as an excuse way to shun queer people, while the rest of the galaxy didn't even consider it.

In ME3, there is an overhead dialogue about a human soldier talking to the asari embassy about finding refugee for her asari daughter, maybe send her back home. She mentions how all her human family basically abandoned her the day she married her asari wife, homophobia heavily implied.

You don't hear a story like that from any other alien who married an asari, I really think homophobia is exclusive to humans. It's both shameful but also a relief that at least the rest of the galaxy have their priorities sorted right. We could learn a thing or two.

[occultradio]

Hi sweet pea! I was wondering would it be cool for you to lore dump about your alien "breeding" system? Are they all potentially fertile? Sorry if ti's sudden but I love everything that involves worldbuilding and racebuilding!!

Hi!! 💜

Like with their emotional transfer thing, I took sims mechanics and ran with it. Mpreg, especially with aliens has been a cannon thing with sims for a realllyyyyy long time now regardless of what sex organs they have lol

Like Vis is the bio child of two lesbians so he knows absolute fuck all about gender roles anyways.

As for Sixam races/species I'm still working on that, the 3 types I do have figured out I still don't have names for.

I have a type inspired by cervidae(deer) & bovidae (mainly antelope)

Like Trace's mom or River who I have married to Strangerville's Erwin (their not always yellow it was just a coincidence)

Then I have one inspired by tropical fish (their not aquatic its just aesthetics) Viscera was originally made with @saruin's milkshake challenge. and his twin sister who was recently made because of an ask game lmfao. There's also Tilly, his late wife.

But the one I have set to throw a wrench in things genetic wise I haven't made as an individual yet. But their more spider/monster based, that one doesn't hybridize well and could possibly be from a planet other than Sixam. That's where Trace's face teeth and spider eyes come from. Them being intersex and having various health problems are just genetic fuck ups from the two species being incompatible. So literally any species could mix and be mostly fine except for the weird spider one.

Trace's assumed fertility issues (decades of groupies but zero kids) is again taken from animals, like mules & zebroid's who are a hybrid of horse and donkey or zebra. 99.9% of the time they are sterile but there's been extremely rare instances of mules having offspring.

BUTTTTTT I also have these ones who don't fit those 3 types at all

I've always been obsessed with genetics and genetic deformity's one of my favorite places I've ever been on a date to was the Mutter Museum, they have the largest collection of preserved human deformities and other oddities and it was just so cool to see that yeah dna fucks up majorly some times.

I also personally collect 'oddities' (found bones and taxidermy)

But yeah Trace can make/have babies but their fertility rate is absolutely garbage so without any actual medical testing they were right to assume infertile.

as for determining who gets impregnanted??? idk 🤷‍♀️ Trace has topped Vis a few times and at the end of their rough makeup session but then again Vis's moms are both biologically female and they have bio kids.

[snixx]

Hi! Can you please talk a little about your pronouns? I googled a set I think might work for me and your blog was one of the two results. The other was a clinical psychology major at some university. She seemed nice, but I'm not sending a personal message to somebody's work email, y'know? Anyway, have a great day! 😊

sure! so basically im gender non-conforming and believe gender is a social construct that I personally don't like to subscribe to. I feel uncomfortable with being gendered most of the time and lowkey wish it wasn't such a huge part of how im perceived (side note i don't have a problem with gendered terms like bro/dude/girl/guy or anything that's used commonly enough in a non gendered context i personally LOVE stripping words of their gendered connotations lol). i hate that everything i do has a connotation of being associated with one of three arbitrary boxes (fem, masc, androgynous). I feel pretty alienated from all of them, tbh.

in an ideal world where biological sex and appearances didn't matter at all I'd be agender but for better or (tbh mostly for) worse being afab affects a lot of my life in how I interact with the world so there are ways I connect to womanhood a lot. I love women-dominated spaces and female solidarity. my experiences with cis men have been overwhelmingly horrendous and traumatizing and I've learnt to be kinda wary of them. so i kinda stick with girls by default. especially in a goddamn engineering college. and I really fucking adore and admire so many women and want to be like them and...it's confusing, because at the same time I don't feel like I really fit in with cis women either. idk the older I get the more alienated I feel from womanhood. like I LOVE women but whenever we do "girl talk" or whatever I feel like such an imposter. I relate to a lot of women's experiences but I don't feel like a woman lol. at the same time I don't fuck with a lot of stuff associated with womanhood that most cis girls i know relate to. I think being a lesbian and growing up with severe body dysmorphia for me is kinda very tied to my disconnect from girlhood. I relate to trans girls more than cis girls and trans guys more than either of them now. and ig I do relate to manhood in some ways but also I don't?? relate to cis guys??? it's complicated. but tldr my gender PERSONALLY is very fluid and idk this shit is all made up anyway and I kinda relate to everyone and no one at the same time. I'm agender 90% of the time but I do randomly get gender euphoria or dysphoria sometimes. I'm not entirely sure if that's because of my gender or something else but yeah essentially since I feel equally connected to each of the most commonly used pronouns in different ways I'm cool with all of them. so I picked the most common ones and assigned one to each form (active, passive, possessive) so they'd all get used equally somewhat lol. it fluctuates but this stuff is complicated and different for everyone. I love fucking shit up and actively going against gender norms. so...yeah

[simonsdiarysprunki]

Information about the characters in the AU

Simon!!! - Bigender. He/they and veryyyy rarely she. He uses the name Syd / Sydney sometimes when he is in the mood for she/her. Grayace but even though he and Gray have romantic involvement even if they're in denial they don't get together until everything goes back to normal. He wears horror movie shirts, baggy pants and or tshirts with shorts. An alien little yellow pikmin thing he has no idea what he is. HE LOVES HIS ROLLER SKATES and he is very good at handling his hoverboard. he watches horror movies 24/7 and forces everyone to do so too. ☠️ Pinki doesn't care though . After he recovers from being a monster he gains an eating disorder for a while until he manages to fix it/make it less worse.

Gray!!! - cisman he/him. Deadpan bitch. Baggy clothes, usually listens to mcr. A demon in the form of a cat. He loves reading books under trees (Mr.Tree specifically) and had a toxic relationship with Wenda until they broke up.

Brud!!! - Cisman they/he. Wears bucket ALWAYS!!!!!! Random 80s dad clothes he borrowed. Brown creature idk. Asexual idk what bro likes prolly no one. SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS! Googly eyes but only focus if he's rrly invested in sth

Durple!!! - What is even bro 😭😭😭 idk any prns I call himmmm.. prolly he/any I have no idea random baggies.... dragon creature but VERYTYY FLUFFY lil tiny wings. After he became normal his jaw would hurt for days.

Vineria!!! - genderfluid. he/she wendas partner. Snail ???? Thing??? He spends most of his time gardening and wears hippie clothes cuz he is.... her eyes hurt after she became normal but she generally fine.

Fun Bot!!! - robot any prns it/they main I guess Clukr and Garnolds son they built them. Hearts everyone and is energetic as fuck . Hands can turn to guns but broke halfway through the story.

Pinki!!! - she/her bunny! Loves dressing up all girly and then puts the most punk makeup and jackets imaginable. Oren and Raddys gf . Probably is insane cause she watches horror movies w Simon without even screaming. After they all became normal her face was fixed.

Jevin!!! - he/blue bunny, pinkis lil bro he/him. Cultist, the one who summoned black but is too much of a coward to admit it. Has little wings in his legs and back.

Oren!!! - he/him. YURI I mean what. Butch lesbian wow we love that. Wants to propose to Pinki and Raddy. Little big ass baggy jackets and is a huge rap fan and listens to Snoop Dogg , Tyler the creator etc. DJ!.

Clukr !!!! - idk little silver drum creature. he/him OLD ASS MAN /jk he and gar are like 5 years older than everyone else. Built Funbot and Funcomputer , fluffy hair

Garnold!!! - mouse in a gold suit and looks like. Robot. With rollerboots. He/they. GOOD AT BUILDING ROBOTS he loves them and is against using ai for art and only for robots.

Sky!!!! - MINOR MINOR MINOR NO. He/him now later when 17 she/her trans woman .. comfy fluffy clothes LOVES TEDDY BEARS he has a giant collectuon. Silly boy and is quite fucking rude.

Tunner!!! - hare, not related to Jevin and Pinki and he is dating Jevin. Whistles well, Simon is like a lil bro to him he's his biggest fan ... He/him cowboy clothes I'm wahhahshsbs just wants to protect his friends

OWAKCX or just lime!!! - crazy hedgehog thing his fur spikes up. Vineria is his crush and Brud too but never tells them . The only time he calms down is when Vineria brushes his fur and he wears teb most 2000s shit imaginable .

Black or Mr. Black or the Entity. - fucking hate him it/he uhmmmmm creature with funky face he can possess and turn anyone to monsters

Mr. Tree and Mr. Sun! - underrated imo anyway both he/they/it whatever the wisdom source .. everyone is doomed w out em.

Mr. Fun computer!! - the only source of hope of evegdone ATM. He can fight Blacks virus off but it's still infected he/it

[crystallinestars]

Hello! I'm back for another rant :)

I was still thinking about Mihoyo's tendency to pair characters and play the ambiguity game to make more money and something I've noticed is that people will jump through sooo many hoops to defend the company. ''oh they can't be explicit because of censorship'', ''oh it's China, their culture is different!'' or even ''stupid entitled westerners always complaining about things they don't even try to understand smh 🙄''

Now, while I can agree that censorship and culture should be taken into account when talking about these games, I also feel like it's a bit disingenuous and lowkey patronising to chalk it all up to ''the Chinese are just all like that lol''

Like, why are we so vehemently defending a company that makes millions (if not billions) through ship teasing, as you've put before? Censorship does not change the fact that the development that characters get in these games (especially Genshin) goes out the window every other event or as soon as the main story is finished. And whenever I hear someone talk about censorship, I always think about Mo Dao Zu Shi (granted, the situation was different in its case so we should take it with a grain of salt) where its donghua and drama adaptations where indeed censored (but they were much more explicit than whatever's going on in Hoyoverse), yet the novel (the source material) had many MANY chapters with its two male leads going at it

I admit that I've been feeling a bit salty recently (because I feel like people only care about coding when it comes to the 'great' questions of ''OK but do these two men FUCK? How many times a day do they go at it and who's the woman in this ship??'' Meanwhile nobody ever talks about different dynamics, asexuality and aromanticism are seen as boring, and oh lord does bisexuality seem to be often treated as a trump card to say ''ok but this character is at least 50% gay'') and I also don't know that much about how everything works in China, but idk, I guess my point is that if they wanted to make ships canon, they WOULD (or could) find a way to do so

Anyway, your recent posts and asks also got me thinking and I guess I wanted to show you some support! I've seen your bio and I think it's a really smart move on your part to be clear on what you don't feel comfortable with from the get go. It can definitely be awkward when you have to tell someone that's just really excited to share their thoughts on something they enjoy that you're not interested and you'd rather not talk about this AT ALL. And it really does not help that popular ships tend to attract a lot of unhinged behaviour 😑 It's really refreshing to come across content creators like you, who are very clear in their boundaries and write such thoughtful fics

Once again, I hope you will be left to do your own thing in peace and that you'll keep finding ways and solutions for you to enjoy your favourite works without feeling alienated 💜

(And hopefully one day I will learn how to type short rants 😅)

Haha, short rants don't exist, Anon! It's perfectly okay to type long rants to me, I don't mind. If anything, I relish in them. As someone who rants and complains a lot myself, I welcome it when someone else does it. 😊 (I mean, just look at the length of my reply. I am not any better than you, dear Anon)

Lord, the "Mihoyo can't show explicit gay ships because of the CCP censorship" excuse grates on my nerves, as well. Censorship of homosexuality is definitely a thing in China, and it can sometimes be very horrible, but that's not what's stopping Mihoyo from making certain ships canon. They got way with a lot of lesbian ships in Honkai 3rd (though admittedly they had to tone it down once new laws were implemented, but the fact remains that at some point they were able to be blatant about their ships), and if we're talking actual coding, then Jeht being lesbian-coded is a thing that exists! If it was such a huge deal, I feel like Mihoyo would have either been way more subtle about it or not included these things at all.

It's just my personal opinion, but I'm certain that the reason Mihoyo doesn't make any ship canon is for the sake of making money. They need to sell characters, and the best way to do that is to allow players to enjoy characters the way they want. Assigning a specific sexuality or canon ship will crush the interpretations some players have about a character, and make that character unappealing. It would negatively impact their sales. Keeping things vague and only giving teases of the most popular ships seems to be the ideal marketing tactic for them. It panders to a lot more people this way and keeps most of them happy (however, the fact remains that they ignore a particular demographic of women, though that's a story for another time).

Regarding your reasons why people whip out the "coding" card... YOU ARE SO RIGHT! People only use sexuality coding as a way to "prove" their gay ship is canon and discredit any BG pairing. And they focus on things like one guy being muscular and the other more slender, and then assigning traditionally masculine and feminine traits to them, respectively. I could go on a whole separate rant about this topic, but I'll spare you the wall of text. Feminizing one of the guys in a gay ship is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when it's OOC for the character.

One thing I noticed is that sexuality often gets used as a convenient tool to suit the needs of certain shippers instead of being used for actual diversity.

I can't tell you the amount of times I saw a sexuality tier list where the aromantic and asexual rows were treated as trash bins where people tossed the characters they didn't care about. There's no actual thought put into the sorting, and that's very unfair to actual aro and ace persons.

As for bisexuality... it's such a polarizing topic in fandoms. It's seen as a good thing when you have a canonical BG pairing, because then you can claim one or both are bi and therefore are also attracted to the same sex (as you said, they're "at last 50% gay" and can be shipped in gay pairings). However, if you have a non-canon BL or GL ship, saying one or both characters are bi is tantamount to treason. How dare you suggest they can be attracted to the opposite sex? That's erasing the gay representation!

Basically, bisexuality, much like the term "coding", gets treated like a tool that's allowed to exist only when it's convenient to a person, instead of as an actual sexuality real people have. I feel like bi, aroace, and pansexual people get shafted hard in fandoms in general.

Anyways, thank you for your support, Anon! I mentioned it in another post, but putting your likes and dislikes in the bio is a common practice in the Eastern part of the world, and I chose to copy that. I think it's a good way to meet people with similar interests while also letting those who have opposite interests avoid you. If the BL Anon had checked my bio first before following me, he could have spared himself some trouble haha. Sadly, it seems that many don't look at bios 😢

Thank you for your nice sentiments! I'm fairly confident that I won't be harassed, especially not in the reader-insert community, but I appreciate the thought! And hopefully I can find a way to combat the alienation... If not, then I'll simply uninstall both HSR and Genshin and find games that actually pander to me 😅

May you stay happy and free of harassment as well, dear Anon! 💚

[yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla]

Have a gebder ramble.

No beta read

Sooo

To gender-

Its like...

I used to be lije, until recebtly "oh they/it/he works'

But...i am unsure...idk what my gender is...i wabt a sort of label, to know who i am...ofc i am afraid of inconveniencing ppl w pronoub change saföy qwq

I love my name- its cool..varying...carmilla is neat..

And i am unsure...would i use she/her? Idk if i can imagine ..nor hiw would i feel if pöl use it- i fear i feel as if i betray myself and what ive "earned/worked" myself yk its a odd thought but..yea...as if id wouldve veen a..phase...kinda..

And i am playing with the thought of losing he/hil fully...to become genderless, undefinable...shifting...cause i dint think i am genderfluid as i dont feel a certain gender. But somehow...i cling onto he/him...abf ik, i can stoll be malewufe, husbabd, and bbg- atleast i hope so-

And "seventeen" by marina is a song i kinda feel cause

"Rise of a king /fall of a queen" is like...trans allegory for me in a way (i think i was 17-18 when it started yk

And i just dont know why else...do i just like calling myself a little guy? Or "just suml guy" ? Can i be free of gender? Cazse i fo feel nasc..in cosplay.but he/him in the way one calls a dog of indetermknate gebder, he/him like the 10th doctor is. I just want my boovs gone, nothing more...

I..kinda wanba loose it but also keep it...idk

And "seventeen" by marina is a song i kinda feel cause

"Rise of a king /fall of a queen" is like...trans allegory for me in a way (i think i was 17-18 when it started yk

Nlw to my other promouns:

They/them in the way of a edlritch gebderless being, kind of being many- the pueces thst mske me...in a way of being free of gender and defintion going in any way w my expression...just snth neat and classical...and cool...

It/its- a thing, smth inhumsn. Smth alien ir familiar, just a zhing. A silly thing to have around. Away from gender, far away. Goofing around. Essentially like toy soldier from the mechanisms. A lack of under standing for gender Norms.

Xe/xir- this is..kibda fresh and new..its cool..has edge to it, slios knto jndefineanle w a dasj of feminity...in a enby lesbian way.

Its also spacey abd interesting

Yea...thats it pretty mich....i dont know..i..just WANTBPPL TO USE ALLNOF THESE. NOTBJUST ONE SET.

THEY HAVE A PURPUSE. THEY KINDA MAKE ME YL.

..idk whst i am

Nonbibsry...on a binary side...nothing........i atkeast get my gender expression right kinda

Like

Idk if therss stuff thst gives me explicit euphorua except for cosplay

Bur ik i dint feel dysphotia when wearing fem cospnays ir "fem" cl8thing yl

I likr being expressive w what i wear

[fuglyjeans]

i feel like i need to write a video essay but my thoughts are still percolating

joker 2 thoughts so far (spoilers in red):

my initial reaction was positive, I was not bored like some are saying they were

the musical bits could have been done differently but for the most part, I enjoyed them. it made sense for this story. some of the best parts of the film were musical numbers

initially i really liked the plot, I thought it was a cool fuck you to everyone who misunderstood the first film. but on thinking a bit more about it, i think it would have been cooler to ignore the haters and focus on making a better movie. the meta-commentary is a zinger but it really sucks after a few seconds because then you remember wait, i was interested in this character and this worldbuilding tho? can we get back to that?

all the characters in both joker movies are incredibly flat, 1d portrayals. like literally everyone is mean or manipulative towards arthur. that worked for the first film since arthur was an unreliable narrator, it was fun to try to understand what was his nihilism and what was his actual lived reality.

i liked that the lines between serious and not serious were totally blurred and it was anyone's guess if something was corny bs, or actually believable. to me that reflects real life. because there genuinely are people who get shit on and kicked at every possible turn in their lives. i've met people like this. some of them seem "crazy" and i still don't know if they are or aren't lying about the things they claim but in the end it doesn't really matter because they need mental healthcare either way. ask me more about the specific stories if you're interested... I just think it's neat how Arthur reminds me of real life people.

however in Joker 2, this kind of doesn't work anymore. because the film is a lot more sympathetic towards arthur, it makes this demarcation between Arthur and Joker that I don't think existed in the first film. the very first scene in Joker 2 is a cartoon depicting Arthur in a literal battle with an evil doppelganger, who gets him into trouble... pronouncing Arthur as "the sane one" means all the reasons Joker went ham before must have been delusions. so, with every character being a complete tool towards Arthur still in this film, it doesn't make sense anymore. it doesn't feel like potentially part of his delusion, it just feels like lazy writing.

(spoiler) while I understand why they played Lee like they did, i think it's a massive missed opportunity to make her just another one of Arthur's abusers.

I have always read Arthur as a queer character. He is a guy who struggles to feel manly enough despite not really seeming all that interested in masculinity deep down. He is a guy who finds strength performance---the Joker persona is very camp, very drag queen to me. I've always seen Arthur as potentially trans, bisexual, and/or gay...

(spoiler)...So when I heard Gaga was going to play Harley I couldn't help but get fucking excited. because Harley is a bisexual character. Gaga is a bisexual woman who has always paid homage to queer culture and drag. Maybe I'm just projecting but I think this could have been SO SO SO more interesting and fun if they'd done a traditional Harley, who genuinely loves Arthur and isn't just using him and lying to him... I think it could have brought out more facets of Arthur's character and taken the story somewhere we haven't been before. idk maybe i'm delulu but that's what I wanted

i keep thinking about Alien: Resurrection, because I loved what that entry in the Alien franchise added. that was a movie that said fuck this tired old Ripley journey, it's over, it's been done, we are going to throw body horror and species mixing and ridiculous action scenes and also Ripley is gonna fuck a queen alien just cause and also she's going to have lesbian subtext with Winona Ryder. because we already made 3 serious Alien movies and there's no point retreading, let's do something new and silly with this material. THAT'S the tone I wanted out of Joker 2. but, most people hate Resurrection, so maybe that's just me and my preference.

(spoiler) overall while I don't think Harley needed more screen time per se,(this is a Joker movie, not a Gaga mv, it's about Arthur first and foremost) I do think she was so flat and boring and needed more of a backstory to her.

(spoiler) the ending made sense to me. it didn't upset me. it was a good anti-franchise bs from Todd Phillips... like he kneecapped the Joker Movie Universe before it could go on for decades like the MCU. good on that. Arthur's death also makes perfect sense for him and his character. it's sad but it's what would realistically happen. bro was never a criminal mastermind

ok bye i have to get ready for work!