#beginning of every month and like
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being overly emotional when pmsing when ur usually a reserved blank face 😐 kinda person is genuinely the most embarrassing thing in the world
#i go from Genuinely Being Fine to having a nervous breakdown in the middle of a restaurant a day later#from Being Fine to Feeling Depressed#also when u have a kind of bad day but like its not a big deal and then the next day ur pmsing and just like 'yesterday has left me feeling#empty like theres nothing and no one in my life and like im absolutely going nowhere'#like#be so fr#its fine ur fine#i literally cant wear makeup whenever im on my period bc im always CRYING which is also so fucking annoying bc my period comes at the beginn#beginning of every month and like#guess what else is ay the beginning of march#my birthday!!!!!!!!!! cant do Anything on my birthday bc im depressed and wont stop crying like hello#hello. hello. im embarrassed. im literally just a little guy on their birthday what The fuck#the universe is homophobic#vent ish#ykw thats j gonna be my rant tag from now on sorry#'ish' this is literally a full on rant#im so annoyed
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
#my art#ok to rb#christopher moltisanti#when that wizard cursed me and i felt indebted to his soul#sketchbook tour#sopranos#sopranos fanart#christopher your violent delights will undoubtedly have violent ends (are they even your delights to begin with?)#these are like 6 mo old now. at least the first two#i could prob make these look better if i edited them for longer but i cant be fucked. only uploading these now bc i figured if its been 6#months i probably wont ever go scan these with the heavy duty 800 dpi scanner. this works good enough#i dont really draw like this anymore it got really exhausting#i miss watching sopranos so bad i felt like i was feasting on it for days every time i watched an episode. took so long for me to watch#bc anything that makes me feel that high couldnt be good for me. had to space the episodes out by a few days
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DEAD BOY DETECTIVES - 1.07 “The Case of the Very Long Stairway” // THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES - MAG 159 “The Last”
#posts I make for a target audience of me and like three other people#I’ve had this parallel on the brain for so long I just had to get it out and done with#like. months. way before I started considering making gifs#happy protocol finale public release eve I guess!!#also. Charles' hands in the fifth gif... your honour I might have to start barking#reversed it for the shits and giggles so Edwin literally leans in as Charles begins to cradle his face#but now I take +10 damage every time I look at it or even think about it.#me @ me: why would someone do this#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#george rexstrew#jayden revri#payneland#my gifs
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unfortunately it is my yuusona who is the funniest because she does nothing for months and then immediately betrays everyone for rollo
#it's like angst or drama or whatever and it's been the same since I first started playing. like that's how it goes no matter what#she betrays everyone for rollo in every lifetime <3#creates a really awkward atmosphere for the trip back to school LOL#she was unpopular to begin with but it just gets worse after. rook is the only person who sympathizes with her (for obvious reasons)#and is the only one who talks to her for months. anyway the glomas incident is the domino that leads to malleus' overblot etc etc#random story stuff I have in my head but haven't written down
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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if i see any more Chloe hate i’m going to fucking explode. i’m not even kidding this makes me physically ill i’m going to create a fucking uQuiz about Chloe Price’s character and if you get a bad score you officially do not understand her character and has no right to talk about her whatsoever because you cannot just……say shit like « yeah duh of course i chose Arcadia Bay over her she was so dramatic and annoying and so mean omg 🙄🙄🙄 » i’m coming for you. like you can chose Arcadia Bay it’s a choice based game but if you did it because ‘Chloe was such a meanie 😓’ OH MY GOD. i’m. aidiaoisoz. can someone plz stop me i’m going to jump off a roof /j
#life is strange#lis#chloe price#that was random but i needed to have this out i hate how this fandom treats their characters sometimes#the ppl who don’t get a character are the ppl who talk abt them the most like??? stfu???#but chloe price is a young woman OF COURSE she’d get shamed for having feelings#like leave her alone my girl had every right to be angry and she could’ve been way angrier but she wasn’t what more do you want???#like. her dad died. her best friend left her. her mom married some guy who was physically and verbally abusive.#ppl were treating her like she was overdramatic when she was just. grieving.#and the only person who understood her (rachel) had been missing for six months already at the beginning of the game#like. DO YOU WANT HER TO BE FUCKING OVERJOYED???????#i’m genuinely going insane over this#chloe price get behind me
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If you go up against Daisy Johnson you're bound to lose. She's the Biggest Damn Hero in a universe full of Big Damn Heroes and even if you manage to find a way to get her on the defensive or subdue her, you've still lost. All that means is that instead of getting quaked, her family is coming for her and you better pray you end the day with a broken face and not a broken neck. Aida wiped May's mind to turn her evil and removed Daisy's powers away and it took literally like two days of Daisy just existing in Aida's twisted au for May to be like hm. I think I will save this work colleague of mine and give her superpowers even though that goes against all the manipulation and programming they've been trying to push on me.
And then once Daisy got her powers back it was over. Because yeah she's a big damn hero but you fucked with her family and also created an au where the nazis won. So say goodbye to your spine you fool, you absolute idiot. Enjoy hell and firey explosions or getting cut in half or blasted into space. Either way it's over for you.
"What if I just kill her family first?" Many many people have tried that and succeeded and still lost. She only has two real family members left who aren't by her side every day and by the laws of the universe May and Mack aren't allowed to die because the sheer amount of suffering and grief centered on one person would tip the universe's probability and create a black hole from all the trauma focused into one body and mind. That's if you can even get to them which lol. Good luck. So back to the drawing board for you, random evil henchman. Maybe try an easier target, like Thor or the Hulk.
#Aos#Aos rambles#Marvel#Daisy Johnson#I've been on an agents rewatch kick so expect more semi coherent silly rambles like this#I'd count Sousa and Kora as part of daisy's family by the end but they're sort of. A new beginning#Whereas May and Mack are the ogs that stood by her through it all and meet up for lunch once every few months#And Simmons is a giant It's Complicated sticker
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WHY WONT MY BRAIN LET ME OBSESS OVER 2 FICTIONAL MEN AT THE SAME TIME
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.
I NEED BOTH ELLIOTT AND SHANE, I CAN'T HAVE ONE OR THE OTHER, I NEED BOTH!!!!!!
#but my brain is like no 😍 nuh uh#beginning of a new obsession#chat this happens once every 4 months#moon knight was 8 months#loki was 6 months#shane was 4 months#i had a 1 yeat obsession with Gyro from jojos bizzare adventure and a 3 year off and on obsession with Douma from demon slayer#I AM FINE#sdv#stardew#stardew valley#elliott sdv#sdv elliott#stardew elliott#elliott stardew#stardew valley elliott#sdv shane#shane sdv#stardew shane#shane stardew valley#shane stardew#stardew valley shane
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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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i need trump to die i need trump to die i need trump to die i need trump to die
#I WISH I WASNT LIVING THRU A MAJOR HISTORICAL EVENT RIGHT NOW#trump was shot. 8 days later the guy hes running against decides not to run for reelection (shouldve done that at the beginning)#theres like a month until the dnc and now theres no candidate. i know bidens endorsed kamala but.#1. she wasnt actually chosen by the people and 2. i dont think she actually has a chance. im sorry. and if shes running against TRUMP??#the guy w the frienzied fan club who stormed the capital bc he lost???#im trying so hard not to be defeatist rn and have been trying since they were both on the ballot again but. every day it gets harder
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swagever. me n my animal crossing island against the world
#felix babbles#rosegrove you will always be famöus#<- i literally just started this island#i have a horrible habit of reseting my island every single time i play after more than like . a month#it‘s so bad. i donr even like tje beginning part that much but . what if i have new ideas or dont remember where i was going#goddd. rest in peace all the islands i fucking KILLED with NO REMORSE#my current island is themed after the bunny sisters ^_^ from bubblegum kk#im chrissy and my mom is francine!! hashtag matching islands!! my island is blue themed (bc chrissy is pink so me and my house r pink)#my mom‘s is vice versa but she‘s in chicago rigjt now so were not working on them togetjer
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It's so stupid to be happy about this, but I finally made the call to make a doctor's appointment to finally talk to them about getting put on a new anxiety medication.
#personal#Bad news is it's in three weeks (My doctor is one of more popular ones in the building)...#I never said this but I stopped taking my Buspar a good two weeks ago and what do you know?! I have less panic attacks.#<- I still have them but not EVERY FUCKING DAY.#Anyway I'm 90% sure I'm gonna be put on an SSRI especially since they know I have MDD on top of my multiple anxiety disorders.#Like I'll be truly shocked if they straight up give me a Benzo at all.#And to be honest? I don't want them. They seem... dangerous and addictive and scary.#I was supposed to make this appointment at the beginning of LAST month at my doc's recommendation and then didn't.#And then I proceeded to have one of the worst months for my anxiety I've ever had EVER. It was time.
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jd is so main chorus of mother mother song explode.
‘when i die (when i die) i’ll let go (i’ll let go) but in my life (in my life) i’ll hold on until there’s nothing left to hold and then, y’know. I’ll just explode.’
THIS IS SO REAL…. i think ive only associated one song with J.D an its Caving In by Kimya Dawson . this song actually makes me crazy i drew ths frantic analysis(?) on march 3rd because i needed to get it out. I have an actual better made analysis i made also on MSPaint but im putting this one here for now :3
AND “CAVING IN” BEING THE TITLE IS SO PERFECT THINKING ABOUT THE JOHN DORY FIC😭😭😭 everything comes bakc to his quick and concise guide to survival…
#Kimya Dawson songs actually make me cray#her music mean the world to me!!!!!!#ths ms paint was just me spouting my john dory thoughts#every lyric in ths song fits SO well#sorry im associating ur emotional song with a trolls character kimya dawson#trolls john dory#john dory#man i feel like i made these drawings sooo long ago and then its just. the beginning of the month#ask
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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so. successfully defended my master's. I have some a bunch of revisions to do for my written thesis before I officially have a master's, but I'm very nearly done with it.
I'll be doing research over the summer, but it's not nearly as fast-paced as normal semesters are, and this was a semester in turbo mode. And boy I certainly felt it. I should have a week or so before this semester is officially over, then I'll be able to finish up my thesis and have more time/energy for writing.
I know I've said that updates would be slower than normal this academic year (this semester, especially) and y'all have been very patient with me, so thanks so much. I've still got another draft/revisions to go, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get back to normal Hannah writing mode because I miss averaging 500-1000 words a day lmao
#hannah's rambles#every time I think of fanfic writers who take much longer between updates than I do I'm always like#“I will wait as long as needed!! I will be excited with them! And even if they don't update again I'm so glad to have read their works!”#and when it comes to me im like “hm haven't updated main wip in almost a month I might as well have gone missing” JDLKFGJFDLKGJDF#I've had a REALLY tough semester but there have been so many things keeping me going#And among many others.. getting to share my stories with y'all for this long has been an absolute joy#thanks for coming along on this journey with me (so far)!! whether you've only been here a few weeks or since the beginning
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*Something poetic about the duality of humans or the impact our environment has on our behaviours and lifestyles*
#hazbin hotel#sir pentious#been wanting to do something that compares their design for like 5 or 6 months#and yet again I’d hid a bunch of details with the shading#I mean atleast you can still tell his fangs are different lengths#he’s fun to draw anyway#snake tails are fun x I hope he looks like a stuffed sock because that’s what I wanted#he’s so interesting as a character I used to hate him and now he is one of my favourites#he sucked being a sinner and I hope he continues to suck being a winner now#like he was so soft and goofy down below but up too maybe he’s too chaotic and has too dark a humour idk#it must be hard to be thrust into a pit for close to a century and a half and then placed somewhere else#and we may see some of his human life but if he was in his he’ll form for a century longer where does the real you start#and where does the person you where forced to be even begin#anyway I am spinning this around in my head like a microwave#also I hand spotted every scale and then at the end realise it looks like my sparkle brush but f it it’s too late#added over an hour onto my usual shading time but it’s cute so idk#ill stop rambling now….
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