#before you were born like don't play with her just bc you can't take a loss

[sukibenders]

This year's Grammys really has some of yall (still) in a tizzy. Like you would think Beyonce killed their mother when all she did was win a big award!

[arathejedi394]

when i was little i loved playing with my grandmother's jewelry. my mom's mom. she wore clip-on earrings her whole life so I would take her hoops and fake pearls and play princess. i can remember her smiling at me while I wore her pearls. just barely. i don't remember hardly anything from my childhood. that's what dissociative amnesia will do to you.

i don't remember a lot of nice things about my gammy. i could tell I was her least favorite grandchild from an early age. it wasn't just bc I was a girl, either, I have another girl cousin on her side that she doted on. when I lived with her at 18 i was practically her maid and she used to berate me for not being on-call 24/7 or not doing things before she asked me to, for not reading her mind and anticipating her needs before she even thought of them. but I still remember playing dress-up with her and being excited to wear her clip-on earrings. she had clip-on hoop earrings of all sizes. i remember doing a solo ballet performance (barely) and how she applauded. when I wrote my first book she sent it to all her friends. and she kept a photo of me framed in her living room next to all the other kids she was proud of. she was so proud of my writing. she didn't read much of it bc she was old and a lot of my original content was too graphic for her but she was proud of me for it. but i still wasn't her favorite. bottom of the barrel. everytime.

i miss her. i miss both of my grandmothers. mimi wasn't all there at the end and she kept forgetting I came out as trans or gay, gammy... she was mean long before she died. she was mean long before I was born. and before that she was transphobic, she hated my facial hair, I overheard as she consoled her friend about how her lesbian granddaughter was going to hell bc being gay was such a slippery slope, she used the N-word as a verb to mean "interfered with" or something. she wasn't a nice woman. she was sweet as hell on the surface but the second she clocked a person as not pure 100% grade-A WASP she was making judgements and snide comments. when my uncle (family friend tbh like a brother to my mom) said "hey all gays go to hell so at least that's good" she laughed. but she would pet my hair and tell me about how my grandpa would call her kitty bc she'd purr when he petted her hair. and I would purr, bc I loved her, and I loved having her stroke her fragile hand down my hair. and when I hugged her she'd hug me back with her frail arms. i loved how she smelled. her perfume was called amazing grace, which I hate bc that means I'm gonna hafta buy Christian perfume to remember her. her and my mom always smell like safety to me. her smile could light up the marianas trench. i shaved right before she died bc I was seeing my fiance's parents and she thought it was for her and she was so happy. i wish I had been there, clean-shaven, for her to just,,, see her little least favorite granddaughter again.

when she was dying my mother broke down sobbing one night, wailing

"SHE'S NEVER GOING TO DIE I'LL HAVE TO DO THIS FOREVER"

bc she was so worn out from gammy's vitriol. i watched her burst into tears and I mean she wailed. her voice was like a banshee's and her emotions were incredibly potent. she made me cry. she was exhausted and was terrified it would never end. gammy was fucking mean. to everyone. I've seen my mom cry like maybe twice in my life, once bc of a panic attack and once bc I was crying, confessing she'd fucked me up with her parenting skills. I've seen my dad cry more than my mom. and I've only seen him cry a few times either. she went from laughing to weeping in about five seconds. both I and my aunt had bought her wine and we encouraged her to drink it bc she won't let out her emotions, we kept her drinking until she was able to release them. bc she fucking can't any other way. if we hadn't given her the wine she would have never said anything about how she felt. she loved her mom, gammy, and gammy was breaking her heart being mad we took her to the hospital in the first place. and honestly? gammy was a piece of shit bc she let my mom get abused as a child. that's ON TOP of my uncle, gammy's other child, saying nothing.

if my mom was so destraught, how did he feel?

but I miss her. i want her back. gammy was my first hero. i didn't know my other grandmother all that well bc we lived on opposite sides of the country but I saw gammy all the time. for years I tried to earn her praise and it was never enough.

but i don't think i learned my lesson. i think I'm always going to be striving for her acceptance. i don't think I'll ever feel like she loved me the same as my brother or my cousins. I've done seances to talk to mimi and my dead aunt before but gammy's been... dead... for about a month. it's not like I was a practicing witch when my other grandma and aunt died, but I still haven't talked to gammy's spirit.

i have a set of fake pearls from her now. and a pretty pair of clip-on earrings. the pearls are plastic and the earrings are glass but they're worth so much.

my grandma's dead. she's like the first person I remember other than my parents. she's just... gone. she wasn't supposed to die? she was supposed to angrily live to 103 being mad she wasn't dead yet. she's not supposed to be dead now. i was supposed to get another decade with her. she was supposed to see me get my ph.d. it's not fair. she shouldn't have gone. i want her back. i don't care if I was her least favorite she was my grandma. she died a few years ago and they brought her back bc they didn't see her DNR but they didn't bring her back this time and idk how I'm going to deal with it. she's just gone. i can't call her and lie about how I'm living bc she's not there. i can't call her anymore. at all. she's gone. i want so much to tell her I love her again. and I can't. i can't tell her that I love her ever again. i can call up her spirit all I like but that's not the same.. she's gone. i miss her. i miss her. she was my grandma and I miss her so much. i want her back. she can't come back. it's not fair. mimi died suddenly, my aunt died suddenly. like with gammy we knew it was coming but that didn't help. i miss her.

[harlequinoccult]

i am back w more rants this time abt one of my other characters (hopefully this one will be shorter, ik you say you dont mind but i feel bad every time i go to check in on your blog and i have to scroll past the multiple bibles i sent you... so im sending even more bibles to you-)

her name is Willow "Heartbreak" Bark. she wears a pink, white and gold venetian mask and her weapon of choice is brass knuckles. her specialty is bait and she thought that going out to the middle of the forest wearing a mini skirt and a crop top was a good idea. i am starting by listing her in-game characteristics because i truly don't know how to properly introduce Willow and all the shitshow that goes on with her-

unlike Ariel, Wills actually fits perfectly well in the slsq universe and i think that should say smth abt her character right away. honestly adapting her to fit into the story was the easiest thing ever because this is exactly the kind of shit she would get herself into.

she's a trans woman who grew up on the US somewhere south (i am not american and know just as much abt american geography as i do abt british geography), which is only important bc she has a subtle southern american accent, and despite Newcreed not having a set location i am going to say for plot purposes it is not located on the south in Willow's timeline. anyway

she's a country girl! born to a middle-to-high class family that owned a big estate with all the things a farm usually has (cattle, horses, fields, crops, etc). they had workers to help take care of everything, but the kids were encouraged to help with chores and learn some husbandry as a way to "build character". her parents were an extremely conservative bunch, and their parenting mainly consisted of being distant and pretending their kids didn't exist until they were useful for them, which for Willow specifically meant that she started developing people pleasing tendencies and a never ending quest for approval pretty early on in life.

Wills learns that she's beautiful at quite the young age. she also learns that using that beauty for her benefit is quite easy to do, that flattery and emotional bonds, no matter how fake, would get her far. and if she can play the victim well enough when she does something wrong, she'll be able to get away with it.

personality-wise, Willow has always been charismatic. a bit of a flatterer, a bit of a jokester, a lot of confidence and an extreme flirt. seriously, this woman will flirt w anything that has the ability to consent. if you have pants, she's trying to get in them. and sometimes it's even genuine! ...she mostly uses it as a manipulation tactic tho. i mean, there's no reason it can't be both! (im always so excited for playing as Willow bc she always ends up w the MESSIEST relationship stat screens. i can't wait to see how that translates into slsq)

in her teen years, she was picked on a lot for being "feminine" and having mostly girl friends (at the time, she still thought she was cis), despite being a jock and considered quite popular. she was also the one "guy" who had gone out w the most girls of the entire school. even back then, Wills was already considered a heartbreaker, someone who couldn't stay in a relationship for more than 2 months (spoilers: that doesn't change and probably only gets worse as she gets older).

it's not until her late teens that she starts really questioning her gender, and the reason it happens is because she gets drunk and finally sleeps w "another" man for the first time. from there, everything starts going downhill. she goes through a difficult period of self-discovery and coming to therms w her gender and her sexuality. when she finally begins to transition, her parents become suddenly extremely invested in her personal life in a way they hadn't ever been before. 

they threaten to disown her if she starts HRT. so she hangs her head, cries, and promises she would  never do smth like that.

one day her parents wake up to the fire alarm going off. Willow's bedroom had catched on fire, with her most important belongings missing, one of their best trucks gone from the garage and their bank account sucked dry.

they never saw Willow again.

running away like that was... maybe not the best idea Wills ever had. like every major decision she makes in her life, it was done on impulse, driven by pure rage, with no backup plan and a half baked, somehow extremely well executed idea, that sustained her on pure luck and adrenaline for the years that followed. 

her parents were pissed. maybe setting the house on fire was overkill, maybe they actually loved her after all and didn't want her gone, but it most likely was because of the thousands of dollars that suddenly went missing that made them so invested in trying to catch her and bring her back.

how did she get her hands on that much money so suddenly without anyone noticing until it was too late? great question! short answer: not important, what matters is she did. long non-answer: Willow's major skill has always been networking. she's very good at meeting people and charming people and getting them on her side, asking favors and having them do what she wants. would she have known how to transfer so much money without getting caught? hell no! but she definitely knows someone who would.

for a few years, life was a bit of a struggle. a lot of running away until she finally managed to change her name and appearance to something that would fit her best, and throw off the cops at the same time. honestly, her ending up in Newcreed is no coincidence. she knew she wouldn't be bothered there.

her meeting Carter is also not a surprise in the least. remember when i said one of her major skills is networking? someone like Carter could turn out to be very useful at some point. that makes him worthy of adding to her never ending contact list.

she worked as a stripper and sex worker for a while, when her parent's stolen money started to run dry. a very important thing to know abt Willow is that she's a party girl. she likes to have fun. she loves sex and drugs and alcohol, she's not squeamish and she knows "fun" can be made up of many different things, but it's always better when there's a little risk involved, isn't it? until one day she parties a little too close to the sun.

gambling is very fun, you see, and also happens to give her a chance to earn even more money if she gets lucky, and Willow has always been quite lucky. she's not afraid to take risks, she's not afraid to jump into things headfirst, she's definitely not afraid to commit to things with no backup plan and deal with the consequences later.

and that's how she ends up in crippling debt.

(1/2)

-🦊

(pt 1)

[luluprevention]

𝑶𝑪 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏: 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆

Finally I'm getting around to showing off my first child, haha. Well, at least she is the first one that got a full character sheet so I have enough of an excuse to ramble about her lol.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ Character Info Below ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Well, I say character info, but it will be more like reading through the notes of a man befallen by madness. Still, enjoy :3

I created Colette as an OC for Love and Deepspace, not as an MC stand-in but specifically as someone with an unrequited love for Rafayel. After the twins, Kieran and Luke, entered the game along with Sylus that did change a bit though. But I'm about to get ahead of myself so let's do the basics first!

Colette is a vampire (don't judge me pls lol) who has been around for a very very long time. I never decided on a written down age for her bc I'm not gonna lie, the lnd timeline is something I don't even want to pretend to understand. One thing is for sure though, she is old enough to have witnessed the first reincarnation cycle of MC and Rafayel (whenever that may have been, infold don't play with me now and change the entire lore around the reincarnations I beg). And that is also about the same time that she fell for Rafayel. Guess that little fishie isn't the only one who has been waiting around, heh.

But yeah, the concept of her being a vampire basically came about bc I wanted her to have spent a long time with those feelings of love already, to have seen what the love between Rafayel and MC has caused over and over again and to ask "is that really worth it?". (Little fun fact: in my mind's canon she has brought this exact question up to Rafayel before. Let's just say it didn't end well lol.) Of course I could've made her something else with a long lifespan but I definitely didn't want her to be Lemurian bc I was worried that new game lore would make what I'd established for her unworkable so I just went an easier route.

This was around the time that Sylus got announced and there were so many theories about him being a vampire, so I immediately latched onto that. For some reason it seems like I was a lot more confident that the game couldn't come up with any vampire lore that'd destroy everything I established for Colette. And, well, lucky me? Sylus isn't a vampire, so that means any vampire lore is now up to me, myself and I, right?

Anyways, what I, the ultimate writer of vampire lore for lnd, have decided is: vampires are kind of like Lemurians. Like, Vampires didn't get hunted down the same way Lemurians did most of them were actually doing the hunting bc Lemurians are very very tasty and if the humans are already doing much of the heavy lifting. Well, can't blame them for joining in, right? Wrong. There's now a ban on consuming Lemurian blood forever lol. but to humans they are just as much of a myth. Vampires established their entire society behind a bit of a veil so even though vampires are most certainly walking amongst humans they also have what could be called their own dimension? I guess? Basically, they have a home to return to without causing the regular questions of "how long have you been 17? ".

Oh yeah, on that note, quick vampire age intersection! They can manipulate what age they look like to a certain degree but there is an age where their bodies naturally stop aging and revert back to if manipulated, the exact age depends from vampire to vampire. Presenting as an age younger or older is possible but takes an extreme amount of control, focus and power. That is why it was a thing in noble society for a very long time that nobility had to keep up a specific age range that is not their “natural” one just to basically flex that they have the power to do so. Nobility's gotta nobility, always.

But all that to say, humanity is living blissfully unaware of the hungry danger that is always watching, in large part thanks to Colette and a few other old vampires. Colette herself has been born into the aforementioned vampire nobility, so her rise to power started at a pretty high place already and with how driven she is to succeed it wasn't much of a surprise that she managed to carve her own spot at the top, reaching even higher than her parents ever dared to.

To reach that high she had to make sure to provide very tangible achievements that no one could refute, so, shortly after she got to meet Rafayel and MC in their first cycle, Colette had to leave for a trial specific to nobility. One could imagine it a bit like going abroad to study, except that it is into the oldest vampire's consciousness. Okay, wait, maybe that needs more context.

So, this entire veil and lowkey separate dimension situation that vampire society has going on is all thanks to the First Traveler, or simply put, the oldest vampire. This vampire had abilities that even the strongest vampires nowadays can only dream of ever reaching and this vampire, fearing that their children (read: younger vampires) could face danger if discovered, decided to put themselves into a deep, eternal sleep to create and maintain what is now the home to every vampire.

The noble families are ones that are immediate descendants of this First Traveler and as such they are the only ones who stand a chance of surviving inside their ancestor's consciousness. This entire thing is for safety means, the nobility is expected to protect and keep in check the rest of vampire society and in exchange they are provided with considerable additional power directly from the First Traveler. Well, that is, the nobles who survive the trial.

As might have become apparent, the First Traveler is very focused on keeping everyone safe and alive, so they can't just have anyone in charge, right? And yeah, sure, nobility is nobility. But even among nobility there are always those who are just.... lacking. And having a lacking person in charge really doesn't sound like it would keep everyone else safe and sound, so... Into the consciousness it is! In there the noble vampire partaking in the trial is left fully to their own devices, any situations that are created by the First Traveler need to be solved by that noble alone and to the full satisfaction of the First Traveler. These situations can range from negotiations to more business oriented things but can also be something a lot more dangerous that could result in death. Most times there will be a mix of situations for every trial bc the whole thing takes quite a bit of time. 

Once the trial has started the noble is only able to leave again upon successfully clearing everything or upon being deemed unfit. If they should be deemed unfit (and survive the trial) they will be stripped of their rank as a noble, having to live out the rest of their days among the other vampires. Of course, every noble has the right to refuse to partake in the trial but if they should decide to do so they also automatically give up their rank. Should the noble die during the trial the information will be relayed to the outside but the body will be absorbed by the First Traveler. I think that should cover the most important parts for now. 

Back to how this relates to Colette. As established, she is very driven to succeed so when the time came for her to take part in the trial there was no question about whether or not she wanted to partake, the only question in her mind was “how can I possibly set myself apart from the rest and rise above them?” The answer to that came to her surprisingly easy when she managed to get through the entire trial in a mere 103 years, the fastest clearing that anyone has been able to achieve and, as of yet, an unbroken record. This was her first achievement on her way up and many more were to follow. 

And we are just gonna skip the details on what happened with Lemurians bc Rafayel might be my fav among the LIs but even he can't force me to actually study up on the history. 

But that is also the first time she was confronted with the very short lifespans of humans bc while Colette was doing her trial MC died. And yes, of course MC died young (I'm pretty sure?) but even before Colette found out about this she had already been told by every other vampire that humans just simply don't live that long. That no matter how well this particular human would've lived they would've still already been dead or close to it by the time she finished her trial. So yeah, that was pretty much her awakening to properly understand what the differences in lifespans really mean.

What is more important to know is that, since creating Colette I never planned for her to be crazily obsessed with Rafayel even though she is in love with him. So after the initial infatuation phase her love for him just became a constant thing she carried around with her, never something she had the urge to act upon. Even more so after seeing Rafayel and MC together multiple times. Most of the time Colette thought the two were actually quite cute together and over time she herself grew very fond of MC. But of course, we all know that MC rarely has a good time for long in her incarnations bc at some point something bad happens to either her or one of the LIs. 

To her credit Colette does feel bad for MC and does keep an eye on her when she can but she still has to do her job as a noble and take proper care of vampire society. So she spends most of her time divided between gaining achievements to cement her own position, keeping other vampires in check and looking over MC. 

There was opposition to the idea initially, especially from the older vampires who had been accustomed to how things had been before, but Colette had amassed enough power for herself at that point that she could've implemented this new rule simply by force if necessary. Which means, yay, more vampire lore! 

That is, at least for a while. More specifically until she sees the need to put rules in place on how vampires are to interact with reincarnations of previous loved ones. Or well, how to not interact might be more accurate. Having seen one too many cases of a vampire, very obviously much older than the person of their desire, resorting to creepy tactics that can only be described as grooming, Colette decides that for the benefit of the humans, as well as the honor of vampire society, some rules need to be put in place. And so she did. 

A very very short summary of these rules: vampires are not allowed to approach reincarnations of loved ones except for unavoidable cases (e.g. buying something from them but it has to stay strictly a customer - worker relationship). The human has to initiate everything, needs to be the one to approach, the one to flirt, the one to make physical contact. And just because the human has initiated doesn't mean that the vampire is now free to act upon it. A human's fancy is fleeting and ever changing in the eyes of vampires, which means that the human has to keep up the initiating for at least a year, just to make sure that they have an actual interest and it isn't just them being slightly infatuated. The vampire on the other hand is not allowed to do anything in this timeframe that could possibly get the person to act towards a specific outcome. So, basically that means that no vampire is allowed to show any kind of approval or disapproval to the attention they are getting from their human. Which is really strict but also, a way better alternative than creepy old vampires preying upon humans. 

The rules for dating or having any close relationship (friendships, etc.) with any human are very similar to this tbh with a bit more leeway for really young vampires but this only applies to the ones that are under 90 bc I imagine that at that point they would have the maturity level equivalent of a 30 year old human, the actual age difference still makes it a squint worthy thing but we have to do what we can to not cause an uprising among the young ones I fear. Then it would become a case by case kind of thing until they reach the age of 120 at which point they are now bound to the exact same strict rules as anyone else. And let's be honest, considering everything vampires might as well just give up on the hope of ever being with a reincarnated loved one ever again bc what human is realistically going to keep initiating contact for a year or longer while getting not even an indication of returned interest? Okay, to be fair there might be some humans out there who would do that but I'm sure they would be a minority. 

With these rules in place now though that also means that Colette can no longer be the one to approach Rafayel or MC. Of course she still gets information on what and how they are doing but she herself can no longer get involved even if she knows that something is about to happen. Considering that her hands are basically bound there has been the thought that maybe she should just stop getting information on the two, save herself the hassle and the worries, but ultimately she has still decided to keep an eye on them up until modern times. 

And that is where we get to do our timeskip into the future, and more importantly, the game time! Colette has created her own, very lucrative, position as one of the top information brokers worldwide, which is largely thanks to all of the time she has had to establish herself. While others might be limited by their short lifespans no such thing applies to her and so she capitalizes on that. Ah yes, the wonders of immortality and of inheriting your own wealth over and over again.

Speaking of her being an information broker, I can now finally get into her Evol which I've been excited for for a good while! I decided for Colette's Evol to be blood (or well, I guess water if we are being really specific) to go along with the entire vampire concept. A vampire manipulating blood freely is just such a staple, right? But also, her Evol being water was a really nice choice when we consider that Rafayel has fire but lives(lived) in the water. I just think that's neat :3

Anyways, back to the blood manipulation and how this works. Manipulating water is a lot easier than actually manipulating blood (among other things bc it doesn't prompt questions of “where did you get that blood from?”) but as Colette is a noble she cannot simply be as good with her abilities as others are. Even just being a bit better than everyone else is not good enough in the eyes of nobility. She has to be so far above everyone else's level that there is never a worry that anyone could come close and she has to make it look absolutely effortless. Because of this, one will rarely ever see her actually using water for her abilities, even if she might be able to do even greater feats if she did. It is about making sure that no one else can do it the way she can and not about doing the things that she would be naturally good at.

Thinking about her Evol in combination with her work as an information broker I decided to go with the assumption of “water retains memories” and that is what she uses to get most of her information (we are just ignoring the giant information network that she has built throughout her entire life while I make this claim, okay? :3). Of course she could just read whatever body of water is nearby, and sometimes that is what she has to do, but more often than not she will be using a small amount of blood to create little butterflies that she can send off to do some spying for her. Why butterflies? She likes them and she has a reputation to uphold, so making something small and delicate will only help to show off how great her control over her abilities is. 

I also gave her a scythe for fighting! Once again mostly for the aesthetic and because it was very easy to incorporate the blood manipulation into the weapon. That also means though that the scythe is very obviously for show mostly bc to create the bladed parts she needs blood, which means that she will need to have made someone bleed a considerable amount already before she is even able to use her scythe properly. I wish I could say that this is another weird thing that nobility has going on but unfortunately this is just a Colette exclusive lol. 

Moving on though, thanks to her work as an information broker she is very well connected and this also extends to the N109 Zone. Which means we are finally at the part that I alluded to very early on! One thing everyone needs to know about me is that I really really like the twins. Instantly fell for their charming ways the first time they got introduced and now they are sharing the spot of my #1 for this game. So, needless to say I just had to have Colette getting involved with them (and by extension Sylus and MC but this isn't about them) 

Of course, earlier we were talking about all these rules of how vampires are supposed to interact with mortals, but not to worry bc I didn't plan for Colette to be romantically involved with either of the twins, heh. She sees the two more as particularly interesting and amusing kids and doesn't mind humoring them and spending some time with them. Fortunately for her she has business to take care of with Sylus fairly regularly so she finds herself interacting with the twins just as often even without breaking any of the rules. And once the time period stipulated by the rules has come to pass she is now free to interact with the twins of her own accord instead of having to wait for them to approach her. (There's also stuff going on with a friend's OC but that's not for me to tell right now :3) 

So yeah, at this point my Colette is basically just the go to information broker that is playing around with the twins whenever not needed for any other duties lol. Also, her having this one sided love for Rafayel is still going on to this day but it is more of a reflex instead of an active feeling of love that keeps evolving. And I do think that is most of the basic things I have for her! 

Now time for my delulu: 

If she actually ever were to be put into the game I would really enjoy having her as a possible love interest for our MC (who are you calling biased?) and as a possible contact for information gathering when MC is romancing someone else. (I know, the game doesn't usually have the love interests in any scenes together in any way shape or form -correct me if that has changed tho lol- but I think MC deserves some more female friendships) I think her route would actually be really frustrating for the player simply bc of some of the vampire lore that I have established. Colette is the one who made the rule that vampires are not allowed to approach reincarnations of people they have known before, so what do we think will happen if she is the one to break that rule by approaching MC and being closer to her than is strictly necessary?

Absolute chaos, that is what.

In my mind that would create a ripple effect that goes not just through all of vampire society but also the human society and the consequences would very likely be a bunch of old ass vampires going after the young reincarnations of their past loved ones. Bc if Colette, a very old noble vampire with the accompanying standing, is breaking the rule that she has held up for so long, then really, what is stopping anyone else? Rules for thee but not for me? I don't think so.

And at that point even if she were to try to put her foot down and keep everyone in check no one would listen to a hypocrite like that. And yes, maybe not everyone would be creepy about the whole thing but do we really want to risk that? Colette certainly doesn't and she is more than aware of the consequences that getting close to a mortal like that could have. So yeah, no missteps for her.

Anyways, for the players that would mean that now they can get the Zayne Deluxe Treatment™ twice in the same game! Oh wow and for such a low price as well! But yeah, I'm being kinda serious with that actually. Colette would have her hands bound when it comes to any flirting with MC and there could only be a chance if there is enough plausible deniability, which can only happen so many times without becoming overdone for the players or suspicious to vampire society.

So, as per the rules MC needs to initiate everything and bc we know how the world works it's not just a thing of "Oh, MC initiated the flirting with me once so that means that she is interested and I can now reciprocate without breaking the rules" bc as stated further up when talking about the whole reincarnation & vampire society intersection thing, the human has to keep that interest up for a good while. That means MC would have to do her best while Colette can basically only stand there and do nothing much. Very exciting stuff everyone! 

But yeah, Colette would still willingly help MC out with whatever she needs under the pretense that she is only doing her job as an information broker. Especially if it is relating to the Protocore MC is looking into or smth like that bc as established, Colette has grown fond of her over all the reincarnations that she has witnessed, even more so if the player is playing her route(? moments?). It would be kind of a "whatever it is, just say the word and it shall be yours" kind of vibe but played off as something more casual bc Colette simply isn't allowed to show that kind of devotion.

Then I guess for card stories... some could definitely be them going traveling to find some information or even them going undercover.

The first pair of myth cards I would put somewhere between the first Rafayel cycle and Colette establishing the reincarnation no no rule timeline wise. It would be a reincarnation where MC doesn't run into any of the other LIs which draws Colette's attention and worries her tbh. So she puts herself into MC's life, at first only to look over her until one of the usual faces enters the playing field, but they grow closer in the time they spend together and if none of the others show up then who can really blame her if she starts to feel that almost forgotten excitement whenever she meets up with MC. But yeah, these myth cards are set at that point in the timeline for a reason and so we can only imagine what must have happened to MC for Colette to work out a rule that keeps vampires away from reincarnations. (The rule gets established one way or another, it's just that in the version where Colette is a LI there are a lot more personal reasons involved as to why this rule is necessary basically)

Apart from that I think it would be really fun if there were some cards where MC can get some first hand insight into vampire society. Like, I know most lore stuff would probably be coming up in the Anecdotes but I just really want to see MC herself having to navigate through all that. Or well, less navigate, I guess it would be more likely that Colette would be leading MC with a possessive hand on her lower back as she smiles down at her but sends warning glares to any vampire that even thinks about stepping out of place and oh my god I'm reading this out loud in my head and I feel like I saw that exact scene happen in Vampire Knight, the Kaname Kuran allegations can no longer be denied. Not like I was ever trying to deny them tbh. But yeah, I just think it would be neat :3

Some more fun facts:

I just flipped Rafayel's birthday to come up with Colette's lol. I was really leaning into the small connections when I first started working out some details and that's one that stuck

Her Evol being water was simply bc I thought blood bending would be cool for her to do. All other explanations I gave above were just me justifying why it would totally work

Colette's entire concept (except for the high ranking vampire part) was supposed to be different. My initial plan was soooo much more angsty and dark and would've played so much with reincarnation and what happened between Rafayel and MC. But I'm ngl, the ever evolving lore made keeping everything reasonable too complicated for my taste and I really like my Colette's current concept so all is good. Maybe one day I will write out the OG concept tho :3

For her outfit colours my only thought was (and still is tbh): Nemo

Her hair being a jellyfish cut is equally as well thought through as the colours lol

Also, she made me realize that I don't actually know how to draw a parasol and that I also couldn't be bothered to learn. That's a lie, I really want to do fan art with her and the parasol is kinda a staple for her look so I gotta actually learn sobs

I didn't intend for this but whenever I'm writing her she kind of takes on an older sister/cool aunt vibe, which wasn't intended but you know what? Considering that she is multiple hundreds of years old I can't complain

I think the theme that fits her the most is: love that is willing to let go. You know, like, the selfless kind of love where you let the other person go because it is best for them and will bring them more happiness while all you can allow yourself is to watch from a distance and be happy for them even while knowing that you can never be that happiness for them :3

Would absolutely use her Evol to cheat at the claw machine

Also, no mercy when it comes to the kitty game. Will probably be making small talk at the same time to get some intel while she is at it

Colette is definitely one of those vampires that drink their blood from wine glasses only bc everything else is low class

Out of the major Arcana in tarot I would be assigning her the Strength card

After working on Colette for all this time I actually grew really fond of her so now she has joined the ranks of my core OCs that I will be using for other stuff. But more importantly, that means that in my OCverse she now has a sister who is a dragon even though she is siblingless in the lnd universe

Thank you so much for reading through this essay of a post! Unfortunately my target audience is me, so that is why I've just been freely rambling instead of putting this down in a more summarised version, heh. But yeah, congrats to anyone who made it this far.

Also, I'm ngl having written all of this out really makes me want to write something for the myth cards. Maybe when I have time to also make an illustration to go along with it :3

[chaosismybestie]

Do you think before everything went to hell that the Auditores were a close knit family?

oh that's such an interesting question! i thought about it since you sent that ask, and i have to say, it's not an easy answer x) scroll aaaaall the way down for the tl;dr if you don't feel like reading, because i definitely wrote a lot :')

close-knit looks different for everybody, i think. and the family i was born in was Pure Shite™ so i don't really have a nice reference for this x) but i don't care i'll answer this anyway hehe

starting with the siblings, i'd say they were indeed close. we don't see much before everything goes to hell, but we can already see that federico & ezio spend quite a big amount of time together, you can see it in their easy interactions, and the way they tease eo (like when federico says ezio's pretty face is his only asset). federico must have taught him all the basics of climbing and running across rooftops and seeing how complicated that is, it takes a while to master it so they definitely had to spend a lot of time practicing together x) especially if giovanni wanted ezio to begin his training as an assassin and made federico start with parkour stuff.

we unfortunately don't see claudia much before The Event (i won't even type it) but from what we gathered, she knows how to defend herself (she basically beat the sh*t out of one of her mates if i remember correctly), she was fierce and capable, and yet ezio still went to punch that duccio douchebag (aka ducciobag). ofc there's the obvious "big brother beating up anyone who hurts younger siblings" dynamic, but apart from that, i like to think it's part of how ezio used to show his support (acts of service using his fists fhdskjfhds).

i HC that every member of the family would be super protective towards petruccio, and have a soft spot for him. him being ill probably plays a big role in that, and him being the youngest of the family as well. he'd use his puppy eyes to get what he wants (feathers? yes! candies? ofc! random little items like the wooden doll leonardo liked so much? always!) and every member would be aware of him using it to his advantage but none of them would mind because at the end of the day, petruccio is a sweet kid with bright eyes and noone wants the light in his eyes to dim :) and also because they've all seen his bad days, and want to make life as comfortable as possible for him. they've all witnessed him being exhausted, him growing frustrated because he cant go out despite the spring having come early, bc he can't go explore firenze with ezio & federico due to his lack of energy. they've all heard the heavy silence in their home when petruccio's laughter doesn't resonate in the place, him being too exhausted to be his usual mischievous self. so ofc when he gets better days, ofc, they would indulge him, all the way.

maria had, to me, a complicated role bc she had to make sure the kids didn't notice something was odd abt giovanni's work, while probably getting worried every time he went away on a mission (not knowing whether he would come back alive). she was probably super soft with their kids, im sure she baked them the most amazing tuscan cakes, desserts & treats (since she used to have a bakery). plus, her keeping diaries probably was a great way for her to have tons of stories to tell the kids during long nights where they would wait for giovanni to come back home :) must have been so many precious memories created thanks to the time she would make to tell stories :(

but she wouldn't be *just* gentle, she's be sassy too, you can clearly see it in the way she interacts with ezio (about him finding other outlets, her knowing abt his fights and stuff) and i think she was a very no-nonsense kind of mother which makes all their interactions funnier and more genuine. ofc the kids would keep certain things secret, but maria's perceptiveness would make them all trust her much more with their issues/everyday questions and such.

giovanni probably struggled to be there much bc of his work in the order, he must have missed tons of important events and even more trivial everyday situations happening in the family and that probably broke his heart to see how fast their kids would grow without him being able to witness it. i feel like he'd bring souvenirs and random little items from his trips, because obviously he wouldn't be able to share his stories with the kids, wanting to shelter them from everything assassin-related, but he'd try to make it up to them by bringing little trinkets, treats/snacks from other towns, and stuff like that to share a bit of his own everyday life with his family.

oh my, this is getting way too long im sorry, you probably expected a waaaay shorter answer!

tl:dr : i'd say the auditore were probably a close-knit family in the way that *i* picture it. they'd all take care of eo in their own way, they'd also leave eo enough space to exist for themselves, they'd share jokes, tender moments, they'd bicker and argue, but in the end i feel like there's always been a lot of love in that family. it doesn't prevent one from making mistakes/assumptions abt the other members and everything, but in the end, they support each other and try their best to face things together.

not to mention the pride they have to carry the auditore name, but that's another story!

sorry anon you probably wanted something different T-T

im curious though, what's your point of view on the matter? i'd love to hear your opinions about this!

[featherlouise]

So what happens after Hollow attacks their father? How do their parents deal with it? How are they treated afterwards?

Also, is the whole vessel plan discarded? What does PK do about Radiance? Also, how would other people who were involved or knew about the plan (like the dreamers or five great knights) react to this turn of events?

Sorry for all the questions djdbfn I love your AU 🥺👉👈

Pls don't apologize for asking questions !!!

I love gushing about my characters/ AUs lmao

Okok so I'm gonna try my best to answer all ur qs

(also u are under no obligation to read all of this, it turned out a lot longer than I expected :D)

1. Basically, after the attack (I'm assuming u mean after Hollow stabs themself but if not I'd be happy to talk about the actual confrontation lol) there's a lot of panic regarding whether Hollow's going to survive or not, so there's not really any time to properly process the whole "holy fuck the thing I thought was a bastardisation of the corpse of my child is actually just my child," so it's only after Hollow's been stabilised that I can imagine PK and WL sitting down and coming to terms with it.

The infection REALLY does a number on u, both mind and body, so Hollow's basically just snoozing in some sort of (dreamless) healing coma while their parents have a breakdown at their bedside. I imagine PK and WL's relationship to have been pretty strained since the vessel plan was enacted, like they still love each other but they can't really seem to agree on anything anymore.

Ditching the vessel plan is the first thing they've wholly agreed on in 17 years.

2. So! Immediately after they wake up, I think there'd be a lot of overcompensation on WL's part. She was never a mother to Hollow and she feels IMMENSELY guilty about that fact, so she'd probably start trying to be super motherly to them, giving them food, being affectionate, trying to start conversations, etc, which freaks Hollow tf out bc it's a COMPLETE 180 to how she interacted with them before. Before the reveal, she was super detached, kind of like she is towards Ghost in the game, mostly in an attempt to remove herself from the entire situation?? Like if she doesn't acknowledge them she can't get lost in her grief?? Cuz I imagine she genuinely believed that the void had sucked out her child's soul and was piloting around their corpse (or something of the like) and then there's the GUILT of the whole situation, KNOWING that you had a part to play in the death of so many of your children, that you were complicit to something so cruel?? I don't think she'd be able to truly face it, so she basically just let herself ignore them. And the most she ever really saw of them was when they were sent to guard her gardens and Hornet dragged them from their post.

So. Now she's seizing the opportunity to finally get to know her child, but she's also not really taking their feelings into account on top of ignoring the very real trauma that Hollow has from being treated like a glorified roomba their entire life. Her main coping strategy seems to be to just. Ignore her problems lmao (she like me fr fr)

3. SO. Pk. Whooo boy.

At this point, I don't think he'd realise that Hollow was never hollow, bc then he'd have to face the possibility that none of the vessels were hollow, and if that's the case, how many of his children has he killed?? He knows a fair few of the vessels were stillborn, but how many hatched and died at the bottom of the abyss, cold and alone and scared??

(Yes the vessels hatched, yes this is a gijinka au where most people are born like humans. Higher beings are weird and also non human, moving on)

So PK at this point believes that at some point while growing up, Hollow had an idea instilled and,, gained consciousness?? Ig?? And he likely blames himself bc of course he does.

With PK there's a lot of guilt there, which I think would mostly lead to complete avoidance, bc "surely my child doesn't want to see me after how I've treated them, I'd better give them space,"

Meanwhile Hollow is wondering whether their fears truly have come true and their father does hate them for not being pure.

Just. A lot of miscommunication.

When they finally talk it out, there WILL be tears.

4. The Dreamers!!

With Herrah, I think she'd be a pretty big support for Hollow during their recovery. I don't think Herrah was ever truly convinced that Hollow was pure?? Like she witnessed a lot of small moments between them and her daughter while they thought nobody was looking, along with subtle mannerisms that just. Wouldn't be there if they were pure.

Like, Hornet once roped them into playing hide and seek with her, and as smart as her baby is, the Pure Vessel, were they completely hollow, would only be able to act when given orders, and there's no way a 5 year old managed to give complex enough orders for them to be able to follow. She probably just yelled at them to play with her and they did lmao (bc they can't say no to their bby sister duh)

Herrah was also on the outside, so there was no reason for her to go into denial or detach herself the way Hollow's parents did, so she'd be much more likely to notice them shifting on their feet, their ear flicking when they tune into a nearby conversation, the way they'd lean into any and all contact with other people, how reluctant they are to let Hornet down when she no longer wants to be carried by them, etc etc.

Herrah may be titled the Beast, but she's not stupid. However, at this point, she's seen them spar with the Knights, she knows that they would be able to escape unnoticed if they wanted to, they're definitely skilled enough. So that means that if they end up being sealed inside the temple, it's their decision, and she respects them for that.

She also notices how reverently they treat their little sister, so if nothing else, they can bond over their mutual adoration of her.

Herrah's a pretty abrasive woman, loud and unapologetic, so I figure she'd be a nice change to the coddling of their mother, and Herrah ends up promising them a place in deepnest if they ever feel the need to escape the palace.

Herrah's the only dreamer I've really thought about?? And since she was there when the incident happened, she's very present for pretty much the entirety of Hollow's recovery. The other 2 don't really come into it till later, so for now let's just say they're all probably pretty relieved that they don't have to sacrifice themselves anymore lmao.

5. The 5 Great Knights!!

I don't have anything super specific about these guys yet? But I imagine they'd be friendly to Hollow. Hollow looks up to them all quite a lot and they were probably the closest things they had to friends growing up?? But honestly not much really changed there except they start trying to bring them into conversations, and they're always willing to spar if Hollow ever wants to.

6. Finally, RADIANCE!!

So I imagine that after Hollow has stabilised, PK will immediately start trying to distract himself by basically preparing for war. If it wasn't personal before, it definitely is now. The Radiance discovered his child's sentience before anyone else and what's the first thing she does?? Turn them into a weapon to be used against him (slightly hypocritical of u there my guy)

There's probably a lot of feelingsy bullshit that everyone (ESPECIALLY the royal family) needs to work thru before any action can really be made against Radi, so for the most part she's just simmering in the background. Her who was probably bruised when Hollow managed to wrestle control away from her so she's probably licking her wounds in the dream realm, but after a few months, infection rates start to REALLY spike again, because she is PISSED.

I could make PK and Radi duke it out but I kinda wanna lean into Hollow’s empathy?? Like they’re hyper empathetic and I feel like after having Radi in their head for a while they’d come to understand her anger?? Like they still want her gone but they understand that she has every reason to be pissed at PK, at least from her pov. (I’ll get into Hollow’s feelings regarding Radi in a later post bc this is getting ridiculously long now lmao)

So maybe eventually they can come to an agreement with Radi?? I’m not sure on the details but I don’t think I wanna just kill her off.

WOW this was really long, sry if it’s super rambly I’m basically just word vomiting into my notes app lol

And if you’ve read this far, ty!! Glad u love my blorbos as much as I do （ ＾ν＾）

[mzannthropy]

Any Camibilly fluff headcanons?

They make sure they have a date night at least every month, just the two of them. They go to a nice restaurant, or to the movies, or they just drive to the beach and have a moonlit walk (I have them living in Pasadena). Sometimes they get themselves invited to a red carpet premiere if they feel like it.

Something I've been thinking about for a while: at some point they renew their vows. Bc their wedding was so rushed, and I don't think Camila ever got any engagement ring, Billy will buy her an eternity ring and they have another wedding--nothing too big, but their parents will be there and Camila's sister (I named her Isabel) and Graham and Jeanie (that's his wife, I think I found her name on wiki and that's what I'm calling her anyway), and Teddy. Julia is the flower girl. And this time around at least they get proper pics! Camila's photographer friend will take care of it.

I once suggested Billy will buy a trip to Argentina for Camila's parents, but idk why I didn't think of Billy and Camila going themselves (and with Julia ofc), but when you said it, it started growing in my head. They go to Buenos Aires (stereotypically the capital, but come on, it's literally one of the largest cities in the world and it's not wild to imagine Camila's parents were from there, even if they/their parents were born elsewhere and moved there for jobs/opportunities). Now, there's an area called Boca and Camila takes lots of pictures there, they visit the taverns and watch tango dancers (ah, there's something here, Billy and Camila dancing tango?). When they get back, Camila sells her collection on Boca to National Geographic and from then on, starts doing street photography. She felt unfulfilled doing those celeb photoshoots. This is what will lead Julia to become a documentary filmmaker.

Billy tries to learn Spanish, I picture him being like the dad character from the Barbie film, you know the husband of America Ferrera's character, the father of that bratty kid.

I can't fit more kids into my imagination (my own bias, I admit), so I'll just let Julia be an only child, but they do have a conversation about whether they want to have more. (I have to discard the one in the show bc it makes no sense). They decide NOT to have any more, at least not for the foreseeable future, bc they're doing good the way they are and Camila is doing her photography work. Then before you know it, Julia is a teen and they're like, eh, we won't bother now, so they don't. But I'm still playing with the idea of them fostering an orphan boy, a child whose immigrant mother died. Needs to be a Spanish speaking one, so probably from Mexico (stereotypical again, but also most likely).

Some interior ideas: link 1 link 2 The first one has guitars handing on the wall, the second has old fashioned cameras as decorations!

Oh also one thing, Billy does DIY around the house. Kids here are so young, they think love is all long stares and cHeMiSTrY and CoNnEcTIon, but I'm too divorced and too tired and too middle aged to not see the value of having a man around who can fix things, I said what I said!

[hummingbirdswords]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @caitylove - it's been a long time since I've done one of these, so why not? thanks!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I am named after two people, actually.

Jasmine Guy: people would tell my mother she looked like Whitley Gilbert, a character Jasmine played, so she said she'd name her first daughter after her. it's just spelled differently.

my cousin. well, cousin in the way everyone is your cousin somehow even though there is no actual relation between the two of you. she was born a year (or two?) before me. her name is Shakeena. my mother liked it and called me kaleena for my middle name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

a few hours ago. don't know what's up with my hormones, but i went from having a decent day to crying and feeling awful without warning.

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/have played?

played tennis in elementary and volleyball in middle. i danced throughout most of my school years. i'd probably injure my fragile body if i attempted any of those now

5. Do you use sarcasm?

religiously

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

their clothes. i don't spend a lot of time looking at people's faces, especially strangers. but i love fashion and will always notice what someone is wearing

7. What’s your eye color?

brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

i love a thriller! I don't normally find them very scary, but they entertain me

9. Any talents?

that is a good question. i'll get back to you when i discover mine bc they're certainly hidden

10. Where were you born?

NYC

11. What are your hobbies?

reading and researching. the list used to be much longer, but i can't seem to stay interested in anything long enough to consider it a hobby

12. Do you have any pets?

not personally, no. but my roomies do

13. How tall are you?

5'4.5

14. Favorite subject in school?

haven't been in school in so long, but it was algebra and physics. i had very little interest in the rest of it

15. Dream job?

I would like to be paid for existing. a check for staying alive. a check for waking up. a check for gifting the world with my presence... that is all. the idea of having to work to survive is one i will never understand. i don't want a job. i want to have money to take care of myself and my loved ones, and then i want to be able to spend my time creating and learning without the stress of worrying about being productive enough to be financially stable.

15 tags: oh boy. i never tag, so just consider yourself tagged if you see this and want to do it. thinking of who to tag makes my skin itchy

[toournextadventure]

okokok its gym birb anon im taking that name bc i need to find an emoji

what if. birb played an instrument well. like real real real well. like almost proffesional. like u know that whole fire pit thingy scene what if birb only played the fiddle so theyd have a duet partner. and they actually slay at like classical guitar or steel stringed ur choice bro. personally i think some of the gfs would be all over this.

imagine lemme set the scene. birb just casually picking up a guitar and playing real well (tuning it cause as a multiple instrument playing musician idc u tune ur instruments pleeeaaaes even if its the death of you)

vada would def be like loook at how faast those fingers mooove. def thinking unholy thoughts (trying to get birb to play unholy on electric)

tara would be horny thoughts horny thoughts horny thoughts with vada obviously. like no doubt but also so so so so eager to learn to play literally draping themselvers onto birbs guitar filled lap like teeaaaach me

wenesday would def be like oh my god competent duet partner this entire time??? getcho ass oveer here lurch brought my cello and then grabbing birb by the collar when they try to go fight lurch guitar and all with them. She'd definatley choose some casual piece and deal with birb playing it okayish before sighing and playing the only classical piece birb plays eagerly. Canon in D

lorraine i feel like would sing along softly prolly making up her own words or melody while sitting near birb or working around em like she is also feeling horny thoughts but is always down to listen to music. maybe distracts birb a lil by sitting wrapped up arms around them and pressed to their back singing into their ear but shhh we'll never know

phoebe i thikn is with vada and tara like goddamn the skill but look at how fast them fingers move...

and harley katie and ellie want birb to play tiktok songs.

can i be :) anon cause finding an emoji is a lotta work

Okay okay okay, listen, if this is in our Happy Timeline where no one dies/stays dead and trauma is Healed, here's how I think this whole thing would go down

Nicky is still a-fiddlin away because... of course, he's a natural. And Birb, imo, can't play a six string to save their life BUT they can play a 12 string like it's nobody's business. It's out of tune but still surprisingly sounds good (I say as someone who also plays multiple instruments, but who grew up with a farm family that just... doesn't take the time to tune, don't come for us) so those two are just jammin out like it's what they were born to do

And they ONLY do it when they're all out at The Family's place when they have their bonfires (which, if everyone is over, is a nightly affair). And every single time the gfs are just "and you can't play it in our own home???" And Birb's instant response is "it doesn't sound as good when it's not around a fire :/" with the most sincere genuity they can possibly invoke

Meanwhile, all the gfs just sit there trying not to appear that interested (even though everyone knows otherwise) because "well if you won't play at home, I just won't listen 🙄" even though they're constantly watching Birb like they are only this 👌 close to pulling them away for... reasons

And then yeah, no, Harley, Katie, and Ellie are just like "... but can you two play Savage by Megan Thee Stallion?"

And yes bestie, your emoji has been set, welcome to the Emoji Knights of the Round Table 🧑‍⚖️

[spindrifters]

oh yes, alternate history wormholes bc marginalia, I've been thinking about it half the day and it's sO FUNNY. I love it. like back in the day I thought a little about while I was reading but now I have so many thoughts. just the history of spain would be so wildly different, bc last century was really something. I've been expecially thinking about the cultural legacy with the different social context, and is just so weird how many things just wouldn't exist. picasso would have never went to france, discovered cezanne and created cubism. Lorca would've never wrote his poems and his theater plays (ouch 💔). even the earliest generation of authors of last century (generation of 1898) doesn't exist. we also don't have Gaudí and his architecture (ouch again). Lola Flores and her legacy. so many loses. now I'm sad

and as for Alfonso XIII and his porn films, right now I'm not that sure if he directed them or just paid people to make them, but what I'm 100% sure is that he had this room in the royal palace turned to be a cinema, where he invited his friends in the dark hours of the night to watch said films. like. come on

I just can't take the whole spanish royal family seriously bc it has been a circus way before Carlos II was born lmao

oh, yeah, the whole cultural history of the world would have skewed left hard. the entire global north would have stagnated (I mean, there are some wizard artists, but c'mon -- and their over-reliance on wands means nothing's getting pushed outside the realm of carefully controlled experimental charms. the reason black manor functions like an edwardian great house is because it effectively is one. in 1977.)

but you know what wouldn't have stagnated? the global south, who are mostly outside of accords control. I mean, I'm sure there were varying degrees of reactionary conflict between wizarding and muggle communities in those countries, but think about it this way:

it's 1899. with one exception, every country in africa is under colonial european rule. except suddenly, those european governments don't exist. no one is enforcing that imperial state. this is obviously a gross oversimplification, but all of a sudden muggle cultural and technological progress of the 20th century is about to look a lot less euro- and us-centric.

as for alfonso xiii, I am... obsessed with this man.

[ravenelyx]

For the fic writing ask game! 13, 22, 38, 53, 66, 75!

Hello Soph <3<3 thank you sm !!

13- Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Nope, too distracting truly 🥲 no matter if it has words or not -- by brain stalls and I just end up either staring at the wall or singing :")

22- Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Sometimes i do it before the story itself even exists (like ilyet and arranged heartbreak or the wips listed in my masterlist), sometimes in the middle (an epiphany moment in which my brain goes YOU KNOW WHAT---?).

Titles are usually based on the core of the story if the fic is rather long:

I love you in every timeline: inspired by DSMOM originally -- it's actually a wordplay on the entire story : it holds its essence entirely, playing on the identity of the two girls, the contrast of Sebastian's emotions and the way time affects the whole ordeal (how he himself has as well, directly on indirectly, affected both past, present and future). I have a very late scene written out already which explains pretty much everything, but I can't spoil it and I feel like a quivering leaf when i think about it (brain write faster pls i want to reach it soon --- but not so soon bc it's literally towards the end)

Arranged Heartbreak : pretty self-explanatory (i had thought the title to be lame at first and then I just... didn't care)

As for the other short fics, they're pretty simple titles tbh --- except for the list in my masterlist: I went all out and those don't even exist yet

38- What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

ILYET itself 🥲

She's my precious, my baby, my dearest love --- also, MC 2.0 herself is based on my OC (Lys Lovelace my dear) since I haven't written anything about her (appearance and stuff is still ambiguous as a true x reader story)

53- What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

I expected it to be something angsty : it's actually "fluff" :||

Just fluff

I'm a sappy idiot fr

66- What’s a fun fact about ILYET?

Edit: one fun fact no one probably knows about is that the whole fanfiction was actually born from a teen wolf edit that ended on my tiktok fyp... yeahhh... and it's a stydia scene, when Lydia walks up to the group asking "where have you guys been?" and Stiles turns around, completely struck. And then idk why my brain just decided to take that scene and just... make the whole thing up into what it is now...

75- Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

Pretty much all of them -- I've never really had any online presence before tumblr so I wasn't really expecting anything when I first started writing, really :"")

I remember when i posted the prologue of ilyet: it was late at night, (friday night, about 11:45 pm -- i remember it like it was yesterday) so I just posted it, went to sleep and expected nothing in return -- then I woke up to like 300 notes in barely a few hours and I literally jumped out of my skin🥲🥲 those were the good times

But fr -- I expected Loved like to flop bc I literally word vomited it at 4 am, posted it without even rereading it, and then woke up to ppl liking it fr (I still hate it, don't doubt, but still...)

Aaaand... yeah.

Ask game here <3

[kulliare]

tagged by @pretty-thief, thank you

1. Were you named after anyone?

no, my real name is based off how easy it would've been for my grandma to say, who doesn't speak english. my parents kind of failed on that basis haha (there are 2 pronunciations of my name and i prefer one rather than the other!) but my name's alright

2. When was the last time you cried?

december 2022/january 2023 was my big cry era but i probably shed like one tear after that over something like film / tv / animal video that was too cute etc

3. Do you have kids?

no. i don't think i'll ever want to but idk what me 10 years down the road will say lol

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

...yes, kind of accidentally? i think i just use it for emphasis rather than like the ~sarcasm is my only language~ type. irl my voice and tone is very blunt/firm/dry so a lot of people think i'm being sarcastic when i'm serious/just talking etc!!! and i have no control over it!!!

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

i played badminton as a kid. i did ultimate before i realized that would be too much running and now i do spikeball, which is excellent for people who hate sports. but i seriously do love spikeball because as someone who doesn't really Sport it's not too hard (minimal amount of running, focus on hand eye coordination and reflexes) so it's accessible to people who aren't athletic (me)

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

i don't know. vibes? if i think i would like them? i'm wary of people at first so it's probably vibes. ngl i'm the type to be very self focused so i'm usually just focused on introducing myself and getting them into the Group so they don't feel uncomfortable

7. Eye color?

brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings 24/7/365 i can't do depressed shit man

9. Any special talents?

i mean there is probably something but i don't have an icebreaker answer to this i'm sorry

10. Where were you born?

this is like a security question man i can't answer this one. i am canadian is the most i'll offer.

11. What are your hobbies?

drawing / posting on tumblr.com about carmy / spikeball / video games are probably my main 4 right now. i keep thinking about getting more hobbies but i go out for spikeball a lot and it's eating up my life lol

12. Do you have any pets?

no! i desperately want a cat though. a russian blue is probably like the ideal cat for me but i don't have my own place and it's doubtful i'll get one anytime soon! i'm also open to other hypoallergenic cats but i don't know how much better they'll be in comp to a russian blue bc i met one before and my allergies weren't as bad-- unrelated but i am seeing a cat today everyone plz cheer for me. i really hope that cat likes me but i will respect his personal space bc apparently he's shy

13. How tall are you?

like 5'0-5'2... i'm never sure haha!! wish i was taller

14. Favorite subject in school?

english!!! to my great detriment!!! but i loved her then and i would never take that back from my hs self

15. Dream job?

rotting! but not really because i would probably get stressed. uhm. i'm at the point where i don't know what i would want. i strangely feel like editing for a tv show/film would work very well for me because i hate drafting stories out but i love refining shit that's already there and i imagine being able to edit stuff has a similar feel. if i was good at it i would write for a tv show or whatever but writing for fiction is incredibly difficult for me and i'm aware that i'm not the best at it

tagging @halfagod @scoundrels-in-love @bartonbones @haydenchrlstensen @egirlgarak @sweetmilkbread

[whoslaurapalmer]

look. I love good things come in threes and I packed a lot of stuff in it and it's like quietly one of my fav twin peaks fics I've written because of all the little world building things and I have notes I've held on to about how I wrote it

-sometimes I do think the fic is a little slow -- but not. In a terrible way?? In a sweet way. It's supposed to be a slow little afternoon. Just a little time

-ed has a tammy wynette tape bc he and norma listen to her in the pilot.

-there was a line I really wanted in there – “so you’re gonna stand by your man her into a prom date?” but it didn’t really tonally hit anyone’s dialogue, which I was having a hard enough time with. harry and hawk and ed are out there sharing a braincell and hawk has it 100% of the time

-the Fall Football Game Of Some Renown, where, according to the access guide, hawk ran the wrong way, and according to the secret history, hank fumbled a play, took place in fall 1968, so this fic takes place a couple weeks before that. I was imagining it as like a, thanksgiving game or something, bc the schools where I live always have a high school thanksgiving day game (or they USED TO), and the fic takes place like, early october.

-the mod squad (which also had peggy lipton) had indeed just started airing at the end of september that year, and the fugitive (which also had a one-armed man) had indeed started airing four years previously (and ended in 1967).

-oh! so i wanted them watching unsolved mysteries, but that aired too late in the timeline. then i wanted them watching the untouchables, but that would've just ended right before fall 1964. so that was how they watched the fugitive, because it started airing fall 1964. they're likely watching the first ever episode.

-oh, was that a weekend? i don't think it was, but. that's where my attention to detail conks out.

-okay the thing about time here. harry and hawk and ed are born in 1950. the fall football game is 1968. that makes them 18, seniors, and they will graduate in june 1969.

-frank is harry's older brother.

-FRANK IS INEXPLICABLY LISTED AS AT THAT FOOTBALL GAME.

-BUT HE CAN'T BE???? BECAUSE HE WOULD'VE GRADUATED?????? I'M???????? i'm still screaming. anyway in this fic frank is in college.

-hand to god I probably attended at least one “under the sea” themed dance in my school career, although I never went to homecoming. i don't even remember what the themes were. i think one prom was like???? a night in paris????? do NOT remember.

-the point is also that time repeats.

-i have never in my life seen the good the bad and the ugly, but it has that Classic Whistle-y Theme, which I figured they’d know. didn’t know if peaks was big enough to have a movie theater or drive in?? and I wanted to pull in the nearby town of newport (where hawk buys a car during high school).

-i picked the 1960 chevy impala bc it’s a cute ass car. love a good old car. that interior?????? to die for.

-guys just Loving their super inexplicably terrible cars is one of my favorite things. Ed's car is inspired by like 3 men I've known I swear to god who were just THAT into their terrible sad little cars. It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing, you know!!!! It's the car!!!! It's the memories!!!!!! You can't put a price or value on sentiment and what even a not well working car means to you. and.....it still WORKS. just needs a lil love.

-a group of guys banding together around their terrible little car and having a ROUTINE to get it to work is also. so good to me

-there's a lot of 'just needs a little love. Is it enough' in the fic bc that's how Harry feels about the town. That's what the town does. The love is not enough. But these friends love each other and are doing their best

-shout out to my mom for coming up with ed fishing out the cassette tape from inside the seat

-I cannot resist mentioning Diane Shapiro. I think it's a fun idea, if she and hawk are vague high school sweethearts and write letters to each other.

-harry has this vague deja vu (???) feeling of s1e6, where coop and hawk and harry and doc hayward go into the woods to find jacques renault’s cabin and find margaret’s first, bc I can’t resist some good time shenanigans

-harry thinks the cabins change because that was the only way I could rationalize them going into the woods in s1e6 and NOT RECOGNIZING MARGARET’S CABIN.

-you wanna tell me they'd never seen her cabin before??? they'd never been there????? really????? in all the years they've lived in twin peaks, of all the years harry's been sherriff????? they don't know that's margaret's cabin?????????????

-especially bc like, look at harry's face in that scene. he and margaret have looked each other dead in the eye and shenanigan'd before.

-anyway.

-the cabin that harry thinks is missing is jacques renault’s.

-the road with the controlled burning on one side and the forest fire remains on the other is 100% real. they do controlled burning where i live in late winter/early spring, to decrease the amount of stuff around in the event of a fire. and you can always see remnants of it for months after, just these scorched little baby trees and the bottoms of tree trunks. but over the summer there was an enormous forest fire, burned for like, three, four days?? smoke lingered for WEEKS after. (no structures were hit, which was good. and i think it did manage to jump the river??) and if you drove through the area, you could see this distinct split where the fire had hit, where stuff was just burned, leaves dead, everything orange and brown. and then just on the other side of the road, there'd be the controlled burn remains, these black branches against the most lush summer green leaves.

-my fav part is harry's flashback to the other fires -- just my favorite parts to write, I think there's a lot in there about. The town and the bookhouse mentality and failures that don't read as failures and. Everything, yknow

-fuck hank, btw, he's just. such a fucker. Harry loves him such a terrible amount here

-the 'good things come in threes' is bc the good things are harry and hawk and ed. They mean a lot to each other. Not you, hank. And harry is gonna have to learn that and it's gonna suck

[nathank77]

12/21/24

9:52 a.m

There is snow and i have to clean my car if I'm to go to the gym.. I have to clean my car anyways. I went for a late gym day on Thursday and I mean it sucked for 2 reasons.

1) i ate my one meal of the day before I went. So I felt like I wasn't taking care of myself after the gym by only eating protein bars... I ended up eating a cheese sandwich before bed to make sure I had carbs and shit.

I like eating my full real meal right after the gym... for muscle repair.. and building..

2) I feel a little rushed bc I dont want to drive at night but I know it's inevitable. I didn't actually rush. I was there for almost 3 hours... but I mean in the morning I dont feel rushed.

So idk. I got to clean my car and the driveway eventually. But I like to wait until 2 or so bc its the hottest it'll be bc of the sun...

I might just clean my car around then and stay home. I can do legs tomorrow. And do arms/chest and abs on Monday. I feel like I'm slacking but I mean my body is also like you want to go 6 days out of 7... I'm tired and my trap isn't healed yet. But we could do legs today. Abs tomorrow and arms on Monday but then on Thursday you'll be real disappointed that you didn't do abs on monday...

But yea.. I've been trying to talk myself through my mom being on the floor and the blood.. it was a real bad nose bleed... it makes it less traumatic.. but it's still traumatic...

I might make eggs, wash dishes... clean my car... and then game... but idk.

Idk. I might call a crisis center just to have someone to talk to. One of the saddest things about having ocd is people think you can just get over it. But the anxiety is so fucking bad and your mind does mental gymnastics. It goes 500 miles a minutes about this touching that, and that touched that 3 weeks ago in the same spot, that your mom's shit bag touched that last week. People don't get it. Ocd is so severely debilitating..

Id love to have Riley sleep in my bed and not care about her period blood dripping everywhere. I'd love to not freak out over her poison ivy hair being on everything. I'd love to play with her and be her best friend. She's actually a really good dog. Like super good. Super obedient. Prob the best dog we have ever had in terms of obedience. She doesn't go to the bathroom in the house. She will hold it for hours. She's gotten less whiny..... less...... it's still bad and ruins my recordings if I were to game... and the random barking...

I can't be that guy though. More thyriod meds are not the answer. Flooding is not the answer. My barricade is the answer and coping with her hair being in my bed and trying to push it out of my bed with a pair of socks I'll throw in the laundry bc it touched it... while freaking out about my clothes on my body touching it while I sleep... and knowing I can't control it without washing my sheets everyday and even still it'll find it's way into my bed......... that's enough to cope with. Washing my clothes and finding her nasty hair in my clean clothes and knowing that I could wash it 50000 more times and it'll never come out. So I have to wear the clothes and pretend I don't know there is Riley fur all over my body...

Riley had a Dihherea disaster in her crate on the floor in front of it. Obv an accident... appearantly she didn't eat yesterday. My mother has been feeding her mushrooms with spices, fish burgers like baked fish on hamburgers rolls. Legit the entire sandwich. My mother prepares her own food and makes Riley a plate like she's a person and Riley jumps on her almost pushing her over trying to get to it.. she never did that with me... she respected my food... but my mother enables the behavior by making her a plate and then feeding her whatever she eats right after.

I mean the Dihherea was a disaster. Like when I say Riley is dying here. I don't mean like oh we are all dying since the day we are born. I mean she's 20 pounds heavier. She's prob got something stuck in her gi tract... she's still got two bald spots. Her not being fixed is actually a health issue and shortens her life. She will never get fixed here. Nala never did....

I'm sick of watching this and having my ocd and thyriod being ignored. No i won't do a biopsy and no i can't work. Why can't i work? Well my ocd was terrible before Riley. Now it's 50000000 billion times worse. My mental gymnastics went through the roof. More compulsions. More rituals to keep me safe.

And if my thyroid doesn't matter to anyone but me if it's cancer and it kills me, I'll commit suicide before it gets bad. I hope it isn't cancer. But I mean if they don't care, I don't want them to stand next to me and hold my hand while Riley is a constant reminder they don't actually care.

I'm never getting out of my little box. No one is going to date me. And until Riley dies... I'll have all these extra rituals and compulsions... that could go away if Riley left. Some would remain for a while.. but most would disappear after one good house cleaning session.

And everyone thinks I'm the problem bc she's this cute, adorable, good dog. And I'm the crazy guy who should get over it all. But I can't.

I wish I had a therapist.

[tamarakkoarchive]

FE:3H livetweet thread (1/3)

i'm familiar w advance wars so it's not new grounds gameplay-wise to me but i still turned off the permanent death thing because well. this sure seems an annoying as hell feature

~

after spending almost a year playing nothing but smtiva this will be my palate cleanser for a wh- oh god damnnit

~

fond of this closer-to-how-an-irl-foreigner-speaks syntax approach rather than making the character speak like a caveman or just say random words in their own language

~

the eng VAs are honestly good and often give a special touch to some characters but i ended up muting the voices fast bc games using them in every existing text box makes me dizzy

~

actually nvm comparing it to AW, calendar system w rpg jobs is the actual cursed deal here lol wondering the margin of error before i get permanently fucked

~

set everyone to wear the uniform properly to please my ocd

~

i can't help but get irked by characters going overboard on being stylish in settings that wouldn't make sense, act like the church pawns you are!!!

~

slurp

~

me: hm so tea time is probably the equivalent to that swsh curry thing 3H: would you like to zoom and observe me: huh caspar: *gives me the horniest look* me: ?????????????????????????????

~

can you refuse romancing a character like in p5 or are you locked into the first mf that you are nice to... oh my god... sorry caspar you were the primary reason i bought this game but i refuse to betray my class and go yumejo even if it's you

~

the other day i saw someone commenting that mixing dating sim with other game genres leds to the downfall of not exceeding in any (obviously implying FE and persona) and like, i think you can perfectly dislike this mix for what it represents and what appeals to regarding these franchises but strictly gameplay-wise i think it's very old man yelling at cloud opinion to get mad inherently at the mix of genres lol.

for smt i personally don't feel the need of big breaks between character interactions and the rpg aspect bc the battles are short (and actually, the demon negotiations are by themselves them lol) so i'm meh for persona but for this flavor of strategy game where you can take a whole hour on a mission i think it's pretty natural to wanting to have smth else mixed to make it less heavy on the player. i'm finding myself surprised at how long i can stay playing this per session compared to AW

~

the story progression is kinda… idk the word we barely know anything abt the cast or what the story is going to be abt and edelgard trauma dumps her whole life in the first alone night w byleth and says edgy stuff out of nowhere like girl? i just learned to fish the other day?

~

~

pretty fond of krabappel

~

ive been trying not to pay 2 much attention to it but i don't rly see the point of showing byleth's reactions and making her speak so much considering she has the personality of a dry wall lol it adds nothing to the scenes and just breaks the silent mc immersion

~

~

3H: commoners are plagued by structural racism which also happens to have a lot of dark skinned ppl in It me: well yeah 3H: it's bc nobles are inherently born w dangerous magical abilities so leadership naturally falls to them me:

~

pretty funny to see a character in the wild and remember "oh yeah. this guy. one of the 3 gay choices for the male mc where it's onesided"

~

annette watch out!!!! a male version of me somewhere might be fucking your father!!!!!

~

girl it's one thing to teach but now asking me to pick up trash like excuse me?????

~

boy, forget flayn. dive into my chest right now

~

oneeshota church achieved

~

now THAT'S what i'm talking about

~

just like irl high school

~

byleth sadly staring at her feet from the thought that she has only attracted genocidal women and boys with no pubic hair

~

[l0stfoster]

Casper gives me the chance to oc talk so I’m gonna get funny and throw my cards in too. The art is quick and shitty I had to make a reference for someone.

Technically I've got 3 ocs, the other two just haven't been drawn but to put it playing; Soc and Greaser, secret relationship bc they're gay and different social classes. They act like they hate each other but makeout behind the bleachers /silly I'll draw them in the future and elaborate FOR NOW THOUGH!! SAM!! Lots of shit below the cut, he's the equivalent of my self-insert.

- His full name is Sam Kaiser; their grandfather (dad's side) is German (and their mom's side is Polish) but he and his parents were born in America, so he's pretty disconnected from his heritage bc his parents don't care enough about it. He was 19 during '67 - He's got an 18-year-old brother and a 26-year-old sister. Her brother's been drafted to Vietnam (which he wanted, as he had always been interested in the military ) while his sister took off to New York for college and made it big. - Born in Tulsa, when Sam and their brother were 13 and 12 their parents had a messy divorce. His father took full custody of the kids because their mother wanted nothing to do with them. Their father's pretty shit and all he really does is just pay the house bills and buy himself food or booze, he ignores them unless he needs something or if they aren't listening to him. Their older sister was looked at once for custody consideration when their father got himself into a bit of trouble but turned that shit down fast. Sam still hasn't gotten over that, it was also the last time he'd heard from her. - He/She pronouns both because nobody can figure out what the hell he was born as besides his parents, but she also doesn't know that they/them is an option. Being transgender in the 60's was already looked at negatively; god knows any other kind of gender identity was NOT something they've probably even known about. - Deeply values their freedom and acts out against their father, because although he's pretty neglectful, he still tries to hold an iron fist over him. His piercings (and tattoos) are a part of the ways he chooses to rebel and separate himself. Still wears his dad's dog tags, despite that, because he still loves his father. - Greaser, their father works with the same roofing company as Darry does but on a different team. Sam does a lot of job hopping as he's disabled and can't keep a solid job. Very financially insecure. - Wanted to go to college but their scholarship wasn't enough and couldn't justify going. He wanted to be an astronaut :( You bet your ass this mf cried watching the moon landing in 1969

- I like to imagine Sam and Darry are on friendly terms since they've both had the experience of missing out on college and a chance to escape Tulsa; and Sam also thoroughly respects Darry for stepping up, since she knows how heartbreaking it is to have family refuse you like you're nothing. (I've shipped them before bc I'm cringe and free fuck you /silly) - He's not really part of any specific Greaser gang, he just sort of shows up sometimes and lingers before dipping again. Their brother was popular amongst both socs and greasers (he's just really charming) and Sam was, sort of jealous; but they liked their alone time. They only met the gang through school and other general mischief. Huge klepto, would go on stealing sprees with Two where Sam would distract and Two would take. - While his brother and father are smart with cars, he's very car-stupid. Gave Steve a heart attack because she pulled up with a VERY flat tire and insisted that it wasn't too bad (he should've crashed on the way there) - Got the nickname "Park" because he hates being home, so he'll usually end up at the park if he doesn't want to be around anyone. Usually, he'll either be there in silence or with a little journal. - Resting bitch face galore. He's not very confrontational but has a temper and gets into fights a lot because he runs his mouth and doesn't know when to shut up. He carries a switch his brother bought him but hasn't dared to bring it out in a fight yet. - Throws himself into crime and other shit of the sort as a way to break out of the expectations people have set for him. His sister successfully left Tulsa and made it big while his brother's in the military-- has the middle child stereotype and authority figures always expected him to follow after his siblings. - Sam hates drinking due to their father but has slowly begun taking it up as a way to cope with the social pressures and his own issues. Smokes as well, but tries to do that less due to valuing their lung capacity (He likes to run) - Just a little side fun fact. If he exists in Cursed au he'd either be a Harpy (likely an owl) or invisibility. Thought about shapeshifting but it'd be funny bc the mf only ever uses it for convenience, like getting taller to reach a shelf. - Also in Cursed he'd end up being friendly with Paul bc fuck you I love Paul and so Sam can too /silly

Sorry if any of this is all over the place my brain is fried rn.

Starting a reblog game: RB w/ your own outsiders OC!

if enough folks do, I’ll draw them together or something lol, it’ll be fun!

So these are blatant self inserts for my sister and me

(Info & backstories under the cut because I’ve put waaaay too much thought into this)

and again, pls do reblog/tag me w/ your own Outsiders original/self insert characters! (Drawings and/or written descriptions!) Making OCs was one of my favorite things to do as a kid, so I figured it’d be fun to bring it back here lol

(And to reiterate- if enough of ya’ll do this I’ll draw ‘em all together like a greaser-sona gang! So don’t be shy ok??)

-got sent to Tulsa from Seattle in 1961 at ages 13 and 11 to live with their mildly neglectful uncle, due to their mother getting cancer and being unable to properly care for them. Their father was lost at sea when they were little, so they had no one else to go to.

-in Tulsa they go by their mother’s surname, Biondi, instead of their father’s, because interracial marriage isn’t legalized in Oklahoma until ‘67. They try to pass as just Italian. This works better for Naomi, who takes more after their mother than their father in looks.

-Naomi is good friends w/ Ponyboy- she relates to him a lot, from the dislike of fighting to the love for sunsets (legit Ponyboy reminds me of my sister so much irl) (She’s also low-key got a crush on him and Sodapop which is pretty funny)

-Jesse is closer to Two-Bit, Dally, Steve, and Soda. And he really likes fights. They’re exciting and make him feel tough. When he stops to think about it it does make him a little uneasy how much he’s grown to like them, but usually he just ignores that

-Naomi disapproves of crime. Jesse used to oppose it too, but the more time he spends without good role models and parental figures, the more his morels loosen. Tries hard to be a good example for Naomi though

-Jesse met the gang through Sodapop originally- they were thirteen and some Socs were jumping Soda, and Jesse jumped in and helped him out. Soda explained to him what the deal with Socs and greasers is, because there’s no greasers up North

-Naomi met the gang separately through being classmates with Ponyboy. They were working together on a school project, one with him writing and her drawing

-So Jess and Naomi spent a solid few months hanging out with different members of the same gang, completely unaware they had the same group. They eventually end up running into each other at the Curtis house, and both are totally shocked. Two-Bit, who knew the whole time, nearly died laughing

-Naomi is friends with both Socs and greasers, because she isn’t really either- she’s financially a greaser, but she has a crazy high GPA for someone who has ADHD and dyslexia in the 60s, and besides that, she just doesn’t like what she sees as pointless rivalry

-Jess loves pointless rivalry. At least until people start getting hurt. Then he starts to get angry.