#before swooping in to get the man she for some fucking reason wants

[queerpyracy]

people keep being like "lisa's dad killed her mom" and i do not believe dale has the initiative. that man could not do an axe murder that's a crime of passion and dale does not seem to have felt a strong emotion in twenty years. janet, on the other hand,

[judasofsuburbia]

something something middle school steve trying to form a crush on somebody because it seems like everybody has crushes. he tries some girls in his grade but loses interest quickly for silly reasons.

then, at lunch, he sees a girl with long brown curly hair and forehead bangs in a leather jacket, head ducked and legs pulled up to her chest. she must be an eighth grader because steve’s never seen her before. she’s headbanging to the music coming out of her headphones and is sitting all by herself. she doesn’t dress like girls in his grade. she’s rougher, edgier. steve likes this. it makes his stomach swoop.

she’s way across the cafeteria so he can’t make out a lot of her features but he decides leather girl is his new crush.

he never points her out to his friends. he wants to keep her to himself. doesn’t want tommy or anybody else sweeping her up.

not that he actually makes any moves to talk to her. no, instead, he stares from across the cafeteria every day and tries to figure out something new about her.

steve thinks it’s funny the way she picks the skin off her apple slices, eats the skin, and then eats the slice.

she usually gets two milks bc she pockets one of them. a bad girl, steve thinks giddily. she always waits until the bell rings to chug both of them which is odd but entertaining.

she has pins on her jacket that steve assumes are bands. no other girls really talk about bands outside of the beatles. leather girl doesn’t scream beatles fan to steve. he wonders if they like any of the same bands.

he makes up little scenarios in his head of walking up there and handing her a mixtape and the two of them sitting very close so they can both listen out of her headphones.

he throws away notes he writes her because they all sound lame. he also doesn’t know where her locker is. or what her homeroom is to send her candy grams on holidays. or even her name.

this all proves to be a challenge. so he gets comfortable with just admiring her from afar.

one day, he’s seating himself at the table with tommy and them when he hears boys from the football team shouting things like “finally, the freak got rid of the stupid hair!” and “how’s that breeze feel, munson? finally feel like a man?”

steve whips his head around to see the boys towering over leather girl’s table. only…it’s not leather girl. or, it is but all of her hair is gone. buzzed to her scalp. there are tears running down her face and steve realizes his mistake.

he wasn’t crushing on a mysterious eighth grade girl. no, he was crushing on eddie munson.

whom he’d never actually seen but heard a lot of nasty things about.

his stomach feels like it drops to the floor. he can no longer hear the ridicule or general noise of the cafeteria because his ears are ringing. he finally had a crush and he still messed it up. steve felt shame riddle through his body so he abruptly got up and went to the boy’s bathroom for the rest of lunch.

as the bell rang, steve couldn’t get himself to move from the stall he was hiding in. he knows he would get in trouble if one of the hall monitors found him but his body remains frozen. the door opens and steve holds his breath. steve sees white sneakers underneath the door and immediately, he knows it’s leather girl…no, fuck. it’s eddie.

eddie is stomping around, grumbling about his stupid dad and how he looks ugly now, obviously not realizing there is another person in the bathroom. steve hears sniffles and his heart breaks. tentatively, steve gets up and opens the stall door. eddie jumps and clutches the sink behind him.

his eyes are brown, steve thinks. and really pretty.

“jesus, kid, shouldn’t you be in class?” eddie rasps.

“shouldn’t you?” steve retorts, defensively.

“touche,” eddie deadpans. he wipes his tears furiously and sticks his head into the sink to splash water onto his face. steve observes quietly, finally seeing all the features he’s been staring at for months in full detail.

eddie pats his face down with a paper towel and notices steve is still there.

“do you want something?” eddie seethes.

steve chews on the inside of his cheek. he knows he can’t be crushing on a boy. still, even without the beautiful curls, eddie makes his heartbeat faster. he’s still so beautiful. he doesn’t want to go to class anymore.

“have you ever been to the football bleachers?” steve asks.

eddie narrows his eyes. “uh yeah, who hasn’t?”

steve stands up a little taller and tries again. “no, like, the concession stand. when there’s not a game going on.”

“no…” eddie gestures for steve to get to his point.

“i know how to get inside. there are snacks and sodas in there. they never notice a couple missing,” steve smiles as he feels more rebellious sharing this information. “i don’t know if you wanna…”

eddie raises an amused eyebrow. “play hookey?”

steve nods excitedly. he loves the way eddie grins in response.

“lead the way, kid.”

and if steve’s first kiss is a few weeks later by a pair of clumsy, sour candy tasting lips, he’ll never tell.

and if steve gets caught that day and gets detention through the end of the school year, it’s totally worth it.

because eddie is right there with him. crushing on him too.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer Park Steve AU part 6

part 1 | part 5

October

It's Wednesday night, which means dinner at the Hendersons. Steve finally decided to show his face — and no, not because Dustin's doorstep song and dance had any effect on him; it was partly because he was sick of hearing muted metal music from across the street and mostly because he hadn't left the trailer in three days and he was starting to feel and smell like shit.

So, anyway. Dinner. Ma Henderson's pulled out all the stops: prepped a homemade lasagna, stocked the fridge with full-sugar sodas and bought the good brand of key lime pie; invited the Sinclair and Wheeler kids to make a little party of it. (Nancy was 'unfortunately too busy to attend,' thank fucking god.)

But then Ma got stuck late at work, so now it's all hands on deck. Mike and Erica are setting the table — Steve can hear Mike bitching at her because she told him the knives go the other way, dumbass; Lucas is at the fridge filling cups with ice and Pepsi and muttering to himself about how much better Coke is; Steve's got an eye on the oven, waiting for the cheese on the lasagna to bubble up juuust right; and Dustin is using "prepping the salad" as an excuse to corner Steve and annoy the ever-loving crap out of him.

“What do you mean it’s hard?” Dustin whines, dropping a handful of shredded carrots into the wooden bowl. “Just talk to him!”

Steve takes a deep breath. Mourns, briefly, for the night he could have had; the girls he could be doing hand stuff with in the back of the Beemer instead of putting up with this kid's shit. “I don’t wanna Just Talk to Him." He bends to peek through the oven door. "And, also: get off my ass about it, alright? I came to dinner, I'm heating up the lasagna. I'm, like, participating or whatever. What more do you want?”

“For you to talk to Eddie! Obviously!" Dustin's tossing the greens so aggressively that it kinda feels like he wishes he was pummeling Steve instead, and when he throws his hands up, little flecks of iceberg lettuce go raining to the floor.

Steve eyes the leafy green confetti. "You're cleaning that up."

"Come on, dude," Dustin begs. "It's been two weeks! What's the point of having friends who are next door neighbors if they refuse to get along?”

Behind them, Lucas supplies in a weirdly strangled tone: “This really doesn’t seem like the way to get him to talk to Eddie."

Thank you. Steve couldn't agree more. He turns to tell him as much and realizes the reason Lucas' voice sounded like that is because he's trying to make one trip to the dining room at any fucking cost. He's got an armful of drinking glasses and three cans of Pepsi tucked under his chin, and he's about to fumble the whole wobbly stack.

"Jesus Christ, man, cut that out!" Steve swoops in to grab the cans before they can join the lettuce shower Dustin just made. He doesn't care how much he loves Claudia, he will leave without helping if they splatter soda all over this floor. Mews the Second can lick it clean for all he cares, he's so for real. "Two at a time," he says sternly, taking the extra cups from Lucas’ hold and handing him back a reasonable amoint. He sends Lucas out of the room with a knee to the ass.

"Hey!" Lucas pouts.

"Hey yourself," he grins.

Lucas sticks out his tongue like a child (because he is one, Steve reminds himself), and when he shoulders the swinging door to the dining room he almost brains his little sister, who makes a graceful side-step and comes strutting through undeterred.

"Are you two nerds done playing good cop, annoying cop with Steve?"

"Ah-!" Dustin gawps. "I better not be the annoying cop!"

"Uh, yeah. Obviously, you are." She props a fist on her hip, a little tyrant in the making, and Steve’s ribs go tender with a fond, vaguely proud ache. He really loves her so much. "Now scram. I need to borrow Steve."

On second thought.

Surely at some point these kids, like, owe him money or some shit for the amount of weary sighs they've caused him to let out. Like, financial compensation for the years taken off his life? Something?

"Yes, Erica?" he asks, nostrils flared; eyes closed.

"You should talk to Eddie."

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ." Steve looks up to the ceiling, pleading for anyone to grant him strength, then he turns to pull the lasagna out of the oven and watches the bubbles sizzle and pop in the hot cheese until he no longer feels like blowing up at a little girl. "Okay. Okay. And I should listen to you because…?"

Screw financial compensation.

He deserves a presidential medal for how calm he's keeping his tone.

Erica's glaring fiercely at him when he glances her way, and why is every kid he knows such a brave, confrontational little shit? "Because," she explains, "He's being mean to my brother."

Oh, fuck no. "What do you mean?" he asks, voice dropping to an urgent hiss as he feels his hackles raise. Like hell is he letting some Billy 2.0 hang around his kids. "Is he, like- Is he saying shit about you guys?"

She spares him from trying to find a tactful way to ask what he's really asking. "No," she says shortly. "But he is being a bastard about him joining the basketball team—"

"Language—" Oh, what's the point.

"—and those two nerds out there? Are obsessed with him. Especially Mike. Like, ob-sessed.” She writes the letters out in the air in front of her to really drive home the point. “Mike likes whatever Eddie likes, so you need to convince Eddie to like Lucas before Lucas loses his friends over this stupid 'jocks versus freaks' crap." She lowers her voice and jabs the skywriting finger into his shoulder hard enough to bruise. "And if you tell Lucas I said any of this? It is on. sight, Steve. I will crush you."

"Jesus Christ."

"So, we good?"

"Uh huh," Steve stammers. "Y-yep. Understood."

Wow. So dignified, Steve. Really loved how you let a ten year old intimidate you. He's saved from any further bullying by the sound of keys jangling in the lock.

"Dusty!" Claudia calls out through the door, "Dustybunny, can you come help? My hands are full!"

In the dining room Steve hears Dustin groan while Mike and Lucas start immediately tearing into him for the name, mocking 'Dustybunny; oh, Dustybun!' in stupid sing-song tones.

"So I'm just gonna..." Steve says awkwardly, inching toward the door. "Go get that."

"Mhmm." Erica gives him an unimpressed look. "You do that."

—

"Oh, Steve, sweetie, thank you!" Claudia says when he opens the door, cheerful and sweet as always. He goes to take her bags from her, but she drops them all at her feet and steps forward to give him a hug, a firm and tender thing that makes an annoying lump form in his throat.

"How are you?" she asks, stepping back to look at him; eyes raking over his face, hands on his cheeks. Really looks. She frowns at whatever she sees. "How's your mom?"

"Can you please just talk to me?" Steve begs, shivering in the hallway because they haven't budgeted for turning on the heat just yet. Wasn't supposed to get this cold for another pay cycle. He tugs the ends of his sweatshirt sleeves. His limbs feel stiff and tense, a budding anxiety like there’s a bomb in the base of his spine.

"Steven, darling, not now," his mother sighs as she sinks demurely onto the couch. "Then when!" he explodes. He doesn't want to yell at her, but, "Seriously, when? When are we going to say anything to each other that actually fucking matters, mom? I feel like I barely even know you anymore!"

"Yes, and I feel a migraine coming on; are you quite finished?"

"….She's fine," Steve answers.

Could be true, for all he knows.

The wrinkles between Claudia's brows deepen, like she wants to press the subject but decides to hold her tongue. "That's good to hear," she settles on after a moment, giving him a gentle pat on the cheek before stepping away with a subtle look that’s not mad, just disappointed.

Steve kind of wants to cry.

"Mom! Food!" Dustin hollers from the other room.

Steve rolls his eyes. "I swear I try to teach him manners."

"Well, good luck with that," she grins, the shadow of tension between them dissipating. Her mood is good like that. Resilient. Strong. Immune to outside force.

Steve’s moods, on the other hand, are more like those stainless steel fridges that promise to remain spotless but then end up covered in grubby handprints. (Exhibit A: he’s doing it right now.)

Thankfully Claudia’s got enough sunshine in her for the both of them. “Come on,” she says, extending a hand and wiggling her fingers for him to grab hold. “Let's eat."

—

part 7

[fandomtherapy44]

Congrats you're a dad! Dean x reader one shot!

Summary: Dean Winchester the man who came and went that seemed like in a blink of an eye. But he left some thing behind your Daughter.

Paring: Dean x reader

word count: 2.4k

Divider from

Firefly Graphics

Reblog Banner and 18+ Banner From

cafekitsune

Warnings: swearing, MILD SMUT, Feelings all around

AN/ So I got very inspired by seeing posts of how Dean deserved to be a dad! Here is my story of that and this would take place after season 15 so he is alive and happy! Hope you enjoy!

Six Years since I last saw Dean Winchester, the man that came and left in an blink of an eye. The charming yet somewhat earnest type that I always fell for helped that he was hot as hell. Those crystal green eyes, white prince smile, glitter freckle kissed skin that almost made you believe in miracles. I was the waitress at the restaurant where he and his partner went every night while they were in town trying to find a missing person and thankfully they did but with that came a goodbye. But he did leave me with something, not an std but our daughter.

I wanted to tell him so many times but how was I supposed to tell this barely a familiar hook up that he had a kid. When he left he told me that he liked me and maybe if he was staying around we could try something but he wasn't. I found out I was pregnant with Bella two weeks later. So was I really going to tell a guy I didn't even really know that he was a dad and potentially ruin his career and break my heart if he told me to screw off. The answer was no.

So here I was six years later with the best little girl in the world and trying my best. “Hey mom could you please pick Bella up? I have to pick up this shift.” I was balancing my phone between my shoulder and ear while my hands were full of plates of food while I was widing through the sticky tables. “Of course sweetie I'll see you at eight.” My mom has been my biggest supporter since the day I was pregnant.”Ok thank you so much love you bye oh and don’t let her eat so much ice cream again she threw up all over the couch last time.” “I'm her grandma, I'm supposed to spoil her.” “Bye Mom.” I said in a loving jokey way. 

It was almost seven thirty when I was walking up to my table and had just gotten satten. I was carrying two glasses of water to the table when I heard a voice that I thought I would never hear again. “Oh Hey Y/n right? You're still working here, that's cool.” I look up and drop the water. It was Dean fucking Winchester. “Whoa you okay?” he swooped down to help pick up the pieces of now broken glasses. I can’t even look at him. “Hey Y/n” He grabbed my hand I didn’t realize but it was bleeding. “Are you okay?” I barely get a word out. “Hey can I get a towel or bandaid please!?”

He called out and a co-worker ran over. “Is she okay?” “Dean, I'm fine.” My friend’s eyes widened knowing that name. “Uh, why don't you take a break? I'll bring more waters” I begged with my body for her to stay but she ignored me knowing that was not her place. We sat down in the booth. I kept staring at my bloody hand hoping it was a terrible nightmare but then he spoke again.

“I know it's been a while since I've been here but I swear that I had good reason to. I had to take care of something that took longer than expected. I wanted to come back. I've missed this place, you.” My heart flutters a little. “It’s okay not like you had something to come back to.” I know that’s a little harsh but I was trying to drive him away as quickly as possible. “Well you're here and I don’t know about you but I had an amazing time when I was last here.”

My head flashed back to that night the last night he was here we were together for hours in the sheets. It wasn't just sex but we talked about our hopes and dreams. Maybe that's why I wanted to talk to him a little longer. “I guess you're right it wasn’t half bad.” I smirked. “Half Bad? Excuse me but I believe you were the one begging for more-” Before he can go on I kick him. “Fine, you were great, happy.”

“Very happy, hey did you ever go to college for acting.” what? He remembered my dream not even boyfriends who had been with me for a long time remembered that. “I can't believe you still know that.” “How could I forget, your face lit up talking about it every time.” We both smiled thinking about those times. But the air froze when we heard another voice. “Mommy! I can’t wait to show you my drawing!” Bella ran over and jumped in my lap. I looked at the clock and it was eight fifteen, shit.

“Oh, baby I'm sure it's so beautiful I'll look at home okay.” “But Mommy!” I started to try to get up but being a six year old she was dragging her feet. “But Momma!” “Bella! Let's go!” I hated it when my yelling voice came out. I finally looked at Dean and he looked like he had been slapped in the face. “Hey mister, would you like to see?” She asked Dean kindly like I had taught her. “Bella he's busy-” “I would love to.” She pulled out a picture and it was a drawing of a family.

“You see that's me and mommy and that's grandma.” He nods looking out the picture. “It's really good, Hey do you have a daddy Bella?” He asked the question I had been fearing. “No, I don’t.” She answered so quickly and without thought it broke my heart. “And how old are you Bella?” “I’m this many” She holds up six fingers. Dean just sits there thinking. “Bella, could you go back to your grandma?” She seems sad. “You can get ice cream!” I tried. Of course, she jumps up and runs to the counter. I sit back down at the booth sighing. “Dean I-” he holds up his hand with tears in his eyes. “I just have one question. Is she my daughter?” “Yes.”

It had been at least twenty minutes. I broke the ice. “Dean, I don't even know where to start.” “How about you start why you kept my fucking child away from me?” He was mad of course who wouldn't be. “Dean you have to understand why I did it, I didn't tell you because I knew what kind of job you had and that you couldn't just drop everything. I mean you told me you couldn't stay.” “You don't think my kid would change that!?” I had tears building up.

“I didn't know you Dean, I didn't want a guy to tell me to screw off that I was just starting to really like and that I knew you just couldn't stay.” He’s silent again. “I want to know her.” I'm a little shocked. “Dean I know it was fucked up of me to keep this from you but you can't just go away because of a job or something that needs you for weeks I won't allow Bella to be hurt like that.” He did not hesitant “I won’t.” 

And from there on out it was kind of nice. We had set up a system where Bella could spend time with Dean so we didn't freak her out when we told her. I could really see both of them loving each other. I met his brother and he was very surprised to hear he had a niece. Bella loved spending time with both of them. It had been a couple of months. The more time we all spent together the more my heart became comfortable with Dean around, that’s what terrified me.

We were eating Chinese food with Bella and for the first time I felt like we had a family but then his damn phone rang. He checked the name and I saw his face fall a little from his previous smile but he was keeping it together for us. “Uh hey, what’s up?” I couldn't hear everything but I did hear the level of the voice and it was not calm.

“Yeah, I'll be there.” He responded back. He hangs up and looks at me. “Dean no no you promised-” “I know I did and trust me I don’t want to go but I have to. This friend needs me.” We need you, I need you but of course, I didn't say that out loud. He gets up to get his things and bends down to Bella’s level. “Hey Bells, I'll be back in a little.” She clearly doesn't want him to go. “But we were going to play barbies after dinner.” She whined in true six-year-old fashion.

“I know and promise as soon as I get back we will and I'll bring back a new Barbie friend how about that.” She leaps in his arms. “Yay! Thank you, Dean, I love you.” Dean and I both got stiff at that it was the first I love you between them. He squeezes her harder at that. “I love you too Bella.” He lets go and goes to the front door and I follow.

“How long are you going to be gone?” “I honestly don't know Y/n I wished I did.” At that, I got angry he fucking promised. “Dean, what kind of Job do you have that you don’t know when you'll be home!?” He put his hands on the sides of my face. “I will tell you everything when I get home.” He saw my uneasy face. He leans down I think for a kiss but not where I was expecting. It was my forehead, a slow caring one. “You have no idea what you guys mean to me. I will come back and explain everything.” With that, he leaves.

I put Bella to bed hours ago and it was five in the morning but I couldn't go to bed not knowing he was safe. Finally, the door creaks open but very quietly. It was Dean but he looked like he walked through Hell. “Hey, what are you still doing up?” I sip my coffee not really having the anger anymore but being replaced with worry. That’s when I knew I was in deep shit I was falling in love with Dean Winchester. “I couldn't sleep not knowing you were safe.” There is just silence between us. I look up and can't hold back anymore and run into his safe arms. We are like this for like two minutes. “I think it’s time I tell you what I really did, you might want to sit down for this.” 

“So you're saying everything I've ever told Bella was fake is real.” “Yes” “And God, Angels, the Devil, Demons, are real.” “Yup and actually an Angel is one of my best friends.” I gulp the rest of my coffee down, maybe thinking this was a dream and I would wake but no this was real. “Okay, I somehow believe you.” “Really some people call Sam and me crazy when we have to tell them.” “Well, I know both you and Sam and you're not liars.” “Thank you.” “No problem.” I break the ice once more. “So that’s why you had to leave to help someone.”

“Yeah, an old friend was going to a vamp nest.” He looked down at my confused face. “Sorry, I'll explain all the monster lore another time.” “A vamp nest sounds dangerous Dean.” “it is.” I let out what I was thinking the whole night. “Dean I don't want to tell you what to do but you can't just go out anymore like that not when you have a kid now and not when I- '' I was stopped by his lips on mine and it was like nothing changed. We let go.

“I'm sorry if I was reading that wrong Y/n but I care about you too and Bella and thank Chuck every day that he gave me you too.” “Chuck?” He chuckles. “More lore but this is way more important.” He gripped my hips and pulled me forward like he did six years ago. “Wait Dean before we go further even though I would love to relive how we made Bella I need to know this is a hundred percent real and this isn't another in-the-moment type thing.” He kisses me deeply again. “I'm a thousand percent for you and our family.” Our family I never thought I would hear those words and that did me in.

SMUT .................................................................................................................

I pull him in and kiss him again but this time put some real feeling in it. He slips his tongue in like it was natural. “Mhh Dean.” “Would you like to move this to the bed?” I jump up and he catches me. “Yes sir.” He walks me to my bedroom and kicks the door open and lays me down. He gets on top and starts to kiss down my neck. “Lets see, I think this is where your special spot is right?” He sucks down on my pressure point and I mewl with pleasure.

“Ding ding ding we have a winner.” He said slyly. “Dean, please no teasing, it's been six years.”  “Aww darling did I get you all worked up.” “Dean fucking Win-” He goes down to my thighs and starts to pull off my shorts and underwear. “You already soaked baby is this all for me?” He starts to rub his finger up and down my slit. I barely answer. “Uh-huh.” “That’s it baby just feel me.” he puts his finger in my pussy. “AHH DEAN!” I grip his wrist.

“Shh, you don't want to wake Bells.” “Oh, you motherfucker!” He goes faster and faster. “Are you almost there?” “Yes!” He speeds all the way up. “Okay let go.” And I came all over his fingers. “Ahh, I missed that.” “You son of a-” I laughed and dragged him into another kiss. It was starting to get heavy again and he was unbuckling quickly. “Are you sure about this?” he asked earnestly. “A thousand percent.” He smiled his goofy smile and went on. But something stopped the both of us. “Mommy moma!” I look down at his tent. “I'll go but we'll continue this later.'' I leave him with a lingering kiss and him thinking he is the luckiest guy in the world.

There's a second part now: Trick or Treat with smut!

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[niftukkun]

fanart for a scene in @nerdydowntherabbithole 's Taking Life As Is on AO3 !! a scene early on in the fanfic that sounded so cool it gripped me with inspiration, where a vulture swoops down and gets fucking got by a leviathan while our dear protagonists look on in horror of the beautiful brutality of mother nature happening right in front of them! dont you love it when you leave your rotting corpse behind and immediately get hit with the existential horror of almost dying and the primal fear of seeing something that much bigger than you and realising your fragility when you were once a godlike being above such lowly thoughts and struggles? anyway.

some details and thoughts !! :

-just before this scene, sugar (survivor's name in this fic) hunted and ate a salamander, so i included it in this here drawin too !! hell yeah esoteric fic-accurate details -(pro tip for any artists out there; if you want to push something into the background, gradient overlays are your friend. also, dont forget to check your values. outline your characters if they aren't popping out of the background enough) -in other, not fic-accurate detail,, moon's dress and marks. i think in the fic, moon's dress is more like,, an actual dress with sleeves and such. but also like, i do what i want and i want something thats barely a dress so i can show off my anatomy/mechanical bits art skills. i dont care if its not canon compliant im calling rule of cool -whoops i forgor the wires uhh shit nevermind it would cover the cool bits anyway whatever -also, while i am proud of the vulture and leviathan, they both used reference. like, i sketched them out yeah, but also the sketch was mostly done by staring at a reference the whole time and overlaying it on the canvas as needed when the drawing looked a little too off. so if you look at this and think 'aw man this guys too good at drawing i could never draw a vulture/leviathan/background/whateverthefuck like that' youre wrong. use references and get better at art by referencing references -shoutout to the miraheze wiki btw for supplying most of my references for this. fandom wiki could never

this fic holds a special place in my heart. like, i dont agree with it on a lot of things (how the cycle works, time between slugcat campaigns, how rot works, etc), but its very internally consistent and i like how all the characters are written. i really do like how, despite all the bickering, the iterators really do care for each other and love each other. i like that the blame isn't pushed just to pebbles, the acknowledgement of there being a lot of nuance and complications in the whole situation. i like the worldbuilding, nsh's wetland-esque biome, srs's gleaming glass beaches, the different interesting fauna/flora, slugcat society worldbuilding, the fucking trains hell yes trains.

most of all though, i love the authors dedication to getting a happy ending. no one left behind. all the iterators in the local group are getting freed (except for innocence but thats a different thing) all the slugcats are alive and doing well (even artificer's kids!!). and even though the fic throws the characters around, bad things happen, steps backward are taken,,, there is almost a palatable message that no matter what, things will be okay. artificer did bad and its acknowledged with visible consequences (scavenger temple route, which mightve made things so much easier on the route to nsh) but she still gets her kids back. hunter had her rot cured and even got some sick new upgrades but still struggles with overexertion and moments of weakness. both pebbles and moon have ptsd from the rot and the rain respectively and its handled reasonably well, not even mentioning the survivors guilt and learned helplessness on nsh and the whole,, guilt from causing this whole fiasco and the feeling of it being all their fault from srs,,,, , ,,,

i dont know. i just really like how dedicated the fic is to showing the realistic consequences of the unforgiving and brutal world of rain world and weaving it into a story of forgiveness and freedom. there are struggles but the heroes will still win and get to go home happy. its cathartic. i love it a lot.

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 2 Review

‼️ SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER ‼️

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is, no smexy time here.

The good news is, we get some Yugo and Adamaï moments, AND the SADIDAS are FUMING 😍🥰

But before we see the sadidas, we can’t start this off without addressing Yugo and Adamaï’s interaction at the beginning of the chapter.

Cuz man, I liked it but when @vinillain addressed it and even ANALYZED IT I fell in love with this scene even more 💖💖

Without their perspective on the matter, I would have missed so many details. Here’s the post if you are interested.

So yeah I’m glad I found their analysis on it and I hope you like it just as much as I did ✨

Now let’s start.

I found babes lol (the dot is so tiny!!)

Look at his emo ass just looking gloomy after having a wet dream. My guy is such a drama queen that he decided to sit at the top of the kingdom just to make himself feel better.

(Get down from there you little shit-)

Adamaï swoops in and actually helps? Omg slay? Like you’re doing something helpful while scolding Yugo that’s actually good. Cuz ngl I’ve been getting kinda annoyed that Yugo had just left Amalia to deal with the sadidas’ problems all alone.

If Yugo didn't have nightmares like these from time to time, I could have overlooked his decision to leave her to deal with it on her own. But now that we know he does get them, it’s a pretty big deal.

He confirms it to Adamaï when he tells him that his condition has been worsening meaning that he’s already used to it and yet decides to not say anything to Amalia AND KEEPS LEAVING HER DEAL WITH THE PEOPLE ON HER OWN. Now he obviously doesn’t leave her like that during the whole day. It’s just that there’s a good chance he’s not there with her during the mornings. Like, imagine fucking a dude who keeps having PTSD nightmares every two nights. Now we know why she got pissed in Chapter 1 when he left her on the ground naked like that. Girl just wants to have fun and lead her people let her have her moment-

Also, we all saw this coming folks.

The blue cows are back.

Bro is trying so hard to be Eva. Look at him trying to visualize and zoom in on the wastes of spaces coming to the kingdom.

Also, I remember how some of us used to think that Aurora was pregnant which is why she might’ve had the balls to come back to the kingdom and try to regain her throne, you know, the very same kingdom THAT SHE FUCKING FLED FROM DURING A WAR THAT COULD’VE WIPED THE WHOLE RACE. The pregnancy theory was a common one to be shared around because the trailer for the manga did not show her stomach. Some of them also theorized that theory because it made the most sense as to why she’d want to come back willingly whether her father wanted her to or not.

Of course, no shade to anyone who thought about this theory before but I love how they tried to justify her stupidity for returning by making up this theory.

Cuz it turns out that bitch wasn’t pregnant after all.

Her stomach is flatter than a washboard and her return happened AFTER FOUR MONTHS (or around that number at least) so her stomach would have at least had a bump but she got none of that.

Judging by Yugo’s expression when he realizes them, he doesn’t look like he’s surprised to see that they’re coming back. He looks like he’s pissed off, annoyed at the fact that they’re coming.

I initially believed that the reason why Yugo looked angry, instead of confused or shocked at seeing them come back, was because the royal Osamodas family might have been trying to return during those few months after season 4. But it turns out that this wasn’t the case because when Aurora manages to re-enter the kingdom, Amalia tells her she didn’t expect her to come back ever again. This means that the royal osamodas family only came back once. So Yugo’s only reason for being angry at seeing them must’ve been because he heard everything the family did through Amalia (including all the times the blue cow tried to marry Amalia off to one of her brothers AND THEN her cousin) which is pretty understandable to be pissed off about.

Finally, after a full week of waiting, the Sadida people make their presence known in this chapter AND IT’S EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED.

We learn that the sadidas are annoyed that the elite eliatropes have not only stayed but that they also shared some of their lands.

I genuinely feel bad for this eliatrope getting criticism from this old sadida. True, they did come here and stayed but they’re not even a lot to begin with. We’re not talking about thousands of children eliatropes here. We’re talking about 30 to 40 eliatropes since these were the bravest to have joined their mother and ALSO completed a lot of missions (that they knew of through the eliaculus) that involved putting their life on the line. So to hear these sadidas claim that they don’t feel at home must say A LOT if 30-40ish eliatropes were able to make such a change. The old sadida man even said that they do not understand sacrifice as the sadidas do.

And that’s something that’s been bothering me since I learned that the sadidas weren’t aware of the eliatropes’ past.

Didn’t Amalia tell Yugo to explain to the sadidas their background?? It sure sounds like he didn’t do anything about presenting his people to Amalia’s. If you’re going to share a land with people you’ve never seen before, you might as well present yourself, no? Because if you don’t, tension and possible harassment are exactly what would happen to the eliatropes if they don’t do anything about that topic.

I also wanted to point out how the people have been behaving towards Amalia in Seasons 1 to the Ovas. This is important to notice because these guys clearly love her and always think of her as a good future queen. We even get a confirmation in Season 4 that a lot of sadidas would rather have her as their leader rather than Armand.

So the fact that a lot of them are now feeling like they’re not at home anymore because Amalia let the elite eliatropes stay makes them think as if they’ve somewhat been betrayed by her.

Translation for 1st panel: “Your father and brother would have never accepted this!”

Translation for 2nd panel: “He’s right! We aren’t at home here!”

Translation for 3rd panel: “These eliatropes are not like us! Your father and brother would have never shared our lands!”

This is a very big shift from what we know. For once, Amalia doesn’t receive smiles or praises.

A lot of them are now siding with Armand and her father, claiming that they wouldn’t have let the eliatropes stay. We know Armand wouldn’t have done that because he confirmed it to Amalia in Season 4 right after the meeting with the Eliatrope goddess ended. But Amalia’s father? No. King Oakheart would’ve welcomed them with open arms. He told Yugo that he had no problem welcoming his people (he said this in Season 2).

The sadidas were right about one of her family members not accepting the eliatropes and I believe it reflects how hurt they all feel about this decision. Because they have no one else to blame this decision on, they are trying to think that only Amalia in the royal family would’ve done that so they immediately point fingers at her.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the blue cows are officially back. And yes, I’m going to call them blue cows from now on, just like how I addressed them in the beginning too.

Yugo: “Sorry, I didn’t have the time to warn you.”

Also Yugo: has the ability to create portals.

The Osamodas family is even more brain-dead than I thought.

Blue fat cow over here is saying “here’s your legitimate ruler” while pointing at another cow but she ain’t even a Sadida. And then you’ve got Amalia over here who’s obviously royal Sadida blood so idk why tf the blue cow king would think he did something there. The sadidas just said that they don’t feel at home cuz of the eliatropes so what makes him think the people are gonna accept a useless blue cow who’s only not a Sadida but did nothing during the war? The sadidas are already pissed at not feeling like they’re at home, don’t throw more gasoline into the fire by claiming an OSAMODAS is fit for the SADIDA THRONE.

Yugo’s wave where you at?

The Osamodas King lost so many neurones when he stayed in that cave, he should just go back in there with his ugly crusty ass bats.

But it’s alright, I’m not even mad (i’m fuming) because no matter how stupid and dumb the king sounded, if you look at chapter 3’s cover, the king doesn’t look confident and cocky anymore.

Clearly, something must’ve happened in the throne room when he was spewing all this shit about Aurora being the “legitimate heir” because AGAIN, that’s clearly Amalia’s role so I genuinely hope that the sadidas were the ones who made the king frown like that. Because there’s a gigantic possibility that they must have flat-out told the king to sit his ass down and remind him that he and his worthless daughter didn’t do shit when the war happened and now he suddenly wants to rule them?? Of course they’d get pissed by what he said!

The majority of them obviously looked bothered by what he had just announced as well. Everyone in the throne room looked like they were just shocked to hear him talk. EVERYONE.

So yeah, I hope I see this fatass get humiliated. Even the eliatropes are like ‘sir what the fuck are you doing’ type of shit.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Under His Protection

Pairing: Andrew!Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: angst, stopping a potential rape, getting slapped, minor fluff at the end

Summary: Your good heart won't let you walk by something when you know something is wrong. That usually means trouble for you, but you can always count on Peter to swoop in and save the day.

Squares Filled: villain/hero for @spider-man-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Shit, you’re going to be so late. Thank God you live right behind the school for this exact reason. Your backyard is right by the school’s football field so you cut across it every single morning and afternoon. Due to being so close, you can sleep in longer than everyone else.

This time, you might have overslept.

You jump over the fence and walk across the empty football field quickly. You think it’s empty until you hear someone over by the bleachers. You walk a bit closer and see it’s one of the most popular jocks, Jake Staton. He’s honestly one of the best players this school has seen in a few years but all you’ve heard is horror stories about him.

He’s arrogant, a terrible lover, and at times, abusive. He thinks so highly of himself and doesn’t treat women right. Ask any one of his ex-girlfriends.

The girl he’s with says something you mistake for a moan but the closer you get, the more you realize she is protesting against Jake.

“No, stop. Get off me,” she begs.

“You know you want it, baby. Don’t fight it,” he smirks and kisses her neck.

“Seriously, stop. I mean it.”

You could keep walking and ignore what you saw but that’s not who you are. You have a reputation for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

“Hey, dickwad,” Jake steps back from the girl to glare at you. The girl pushes him off her but he doesn’t move much. “She said no.”

“Fuck off.”

You step closer and put a hand on his shoulder to yank him away from her.

“She said no. You’re the one who should fuck off.”

Suddenly, you feel a stinging sensation on your cheek. You fall to the ground from the impact and stare at Jake in shock. He backhanded you with the hand that has rings on it. The girl sees this chance to run away from him, and he scoffs at not getting some before school. He steps closer to you but you don’t do the smart thing and back away. You’re not going to show him any weakness.

“Get in my way again and it won’t be your face I’m slapping next.”

Once he is gone, you take your hand away from your cheek to see it bleeding. God, this shit hurts. You can’t go to class with a bleeding cheek so you push yourself to your feet and head to the nurse’s office.

“Come on in, honey,” she says when she sees you standing in the doorway. When she sees your cheek, she gasps. “What happened?”

“I tripped and fell.”

She knows you’re lying but she doesn’t press on if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. You sit down on the examination table and allow her to look at you. She takes care of the bleeding which isn’t from a big cut so it’s easily manageable with a bandaid. The only thing that will be prominent is the bruise already starting to form. She grabs an ice pack from the freezer and places it over your cheek.

“Thanks,” you wince and keep it there.

“Stay here. I’m going to grab something to help with the pain.’’

“Okay.”

You’re sitting there for not even five minutes when Peter Parker walks by the nurse’s office. He makes eye contact and keeps walking but stops suddenly when his brain registrars that it’s you. He rushes into the office with an angry look on his face.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he cusses quietly. You try to keep him away from you but there is no use. He takes off the ice pack to see the darkening bruise underneath. “Who did this to you?”

When he sees your bruise, you can tell a piece of his heart broke through the look in his eyes.

“I’m fine, Peter. It’s nothing,” you sigh.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

You forgot how overprotective he was when you two were dating. He was the perfect boyfriend to you. He’d treat you like you were the only woman in the world, he brought you flowers every time the old ones died, he made you feel safe and loved. You were and still are in love with him.

He was the one who broke up with you. You went to his house for a study session when he dropped the bomb on you. You were heartbroken. Why did he do it? You two were going really good save for a few secrets you knew he was keeping from you.

That’s why he ended things with you. He hasn’t told you that he’s Spider-Man and it was becoming a hindrance keeping that secret from you. He loved you too much to bring you into his mess so he had to end things with you before you got hurt because of him. It hurts him to keep you at such a distance knowing how much he loves you.

“Jake Staton,” you sigh. Keeping it from him is pointless. He would have gotten the answer one way or another. “He was going to rape this girl and I had to stop it. I couldn’t do nothing.”

He loves how caring you are about other people, even people you don’t know. He places the ice pack back on your face and you hold it there so it doesn’t fall. He doesn’t say another word and leaves the nurse’s office.

He doesn’t have to say anything for you to know where he’s going. After the nurse gave you some medicine for the pain, a touch up of your makeup, and one of Peter’s baseball caps that you stole, you were ready for school. You kept your head down for the first half of school so that you didn't have to talk to anyone.

By lunch, you are sitting with your best friends who already know what happened. You’re checking out of the conversation since you don’t feel like talking to anyone when you notice Jake on the far side of the cafeteria. He’s sporting his own bruise on his face with a swollen eye and busted lip.

Your eyes immediately go to Peter who is sitting with Harry and Gwen. He grins when he sees you and winks at you to let you know even if you’re broken up, he still will always protect you. You know you shouldn’t feel this way but your heart skips a beat and your stomach does summersaults at his attention.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[illvmiimoved]

Just Helping You Sleep.

Miguel O’Hara x AFAB reader (GN pronouns)

TAGS/INCLUDED: Lactation (not really nsfw though) * Dad!Miguel * Miguel is super smitten * if he’s Spider-Man is up to you * fluff * au where he had Gabriella normally so she isn’t literally dead

A/N: this is my first ever tumblr post so please have mercy LOL. What a first post am I right gang? Anyways happy reading ❤️

New account cause I screwed up 😭

Miguel has had one thing on his mind lately.

Your tits.

It was weird as hell, considering the situation, but it was true. He couldn’t get those damn things out of his head no matter how hard he tried.

He’d be busy at work, then boom. Titty thoughts.

You’d had his baby recently, which didn’t help (and was also the cause of the recent boob thought influxes). The baby was a beautiful girl and light of Miguel’s life, Gabriella.

You were breastfeeding Gabri, which was the main cause. You not only exposed them more often, but it also made your boobs larger than they were originally.

Miguel was honestly pretty ashamed of getting horny of you merely feeding your child, but here he was.

One day, Miguel was sitting on the couch, watching the news with a beer in one hand and Gabriella in the other. She was snug against him and content, ‘till she began crying.

You had raced over to get her, cooing things like “Oh no, what’s wrong, baby?” And “Are Papa’s stupid news stories boring you to tears, my poor thing?”

You swooped the little girl from his arms, and popped your shirt open in record time to feed her. Miguel nearly dropped his beer.

You noticed his staring and asked if he was alright, and he just said something akin to “Yeah, Gabi’s just so cute when she eats.” Which was true, just not the reason he was staring so intently.

The second a drop of milk dribbled down your boob and down towards your torso, Miguel began to sweat in his wife-beater and had to literally leave the room.

Miguel has caught himself having extremely weird thoughts as of late. A lot of the time, he realizes he’s actually envious of his 3 month old daughter for being able to be that up close and personal with your chest.

Another one is when that drip of milk dribbled down your chest, he had to actually stop himself from swiping a finger under it to catch it on the pad of his finger, and taste it.

He had absolutely no idea what was happening.

He currently was sat on yours and his shared bed, doing some work on his iPad. His glasses were sliding down the bridge of his nose, so he pushes them up. You walk in from just finally getting your daughter down, palming your boobs uncomfortably and looking around the room.

He looks up from his tablet, “What’s wrong, querido?”

“I can’t find that stupid breast pump, and Gabriella didn’t empty me before she fell asleep. It fuckin’ hurts.”

He saves his work before shutting his tablet off, getting up from his spot to help you look around for the pump to alleviate your pain.

You sigh exhaustedly, “I swear to god if it’s in her room and I have to go in there and risk waking her up-“

Miguel sits back on the bed when he can’t find it and for some reason, his mind decided that yeah, this was a great thing to blurt out;

“Do you want me to help?”

You stop what you’re doing and turn to look at him comically slowly. You stare at him, “Eh?”

Miguel pales in the face when he realizes what he actually just fucking said, what he suggested.

“I just meant- uhm- Amor I didn’t mean-“

He shut up before he could make things worse than he already had.

You walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, staring at him, “Did you… are you suggesting you drink me dry?”

Miguel lets out a loud groan, “Don’t say it like that, cariño!” He covers his face with his hands.

You just snicker and crawl up to your spot on the bed. You shrug, “We can give it a shot. I don’t see why not. I won’t be able to sleep like this.”

“Are you serious?” He whips his head up to stare at you. His gaze only grows more shocked when you slip your shirt off, over your head.

You lean back and rest your head on the pillow. Miguel could see you really were tired, so he decided to just dive right in, crude as that sounds.

He leant down and latched on, and hoooolllllyyy shit man. It felt so good. It was unbelievable. He’d fantasized about this for weeks on end, and it was finally happening.

Hell, the milk was perfect too. It was in his top 5 beverages for sure. Not because it was from his beautiful and lovely spouse who he loves more than anything, his beautiful and lovely spouse who could breathe and he would propose to you all over again.

You let out a long breath from the relief and tangle your fingers in his hair. He lets out a low groan at the action.

He reaches one of his hands up to squeeze at the breast he wasn’t sucking, and it fucking dribbled out milk. He could have came on the spot. He immediately unlatched from you to catch it on his tongue.

He switches to the other breast, pretty confident he had emptied your other one. He lets out a loud groan against you when you tug his hair slightly. You let out a sigh yourself. It was super pleasant, having a big hunky man sucking you dry.

Miguel kept on working, focused on mostly helping you get to sleep. Sure he was getting unbelievably horny, but he knew you really just wanted your rest. Having a tiny baby who clung to you like Gabriella did was exhausting.

He pulls back and uses his big hands to feel your breasts, making sure they’re empty enough to let you get some comfortable sleep. Once he’s sure they are, he looks up at you with a lovey dovey smile. You hold back a snicker as you raise a thumb to wipe away the remaining milk around his mouth.

“All better?” He asks. You could feel his excitement pressed up against you under the covers and he noticed. He shook his head and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Don’t worry about it, Hermosa. It’ll go away. Just get your sleep, Mhm?”

You nod sleepily and cuddle against his side. He lets your head rest on his shoulder as he pulls the cover over both of you.

He looks at you with the sweetest gaze, “You’re so beautiful.”

You smile tiredly at him and press a kiss to his cheek, then lay your head back on his shoulder. You felt yourself drifting off to sleep, not as uncomfortable as before.

He mumbles,

“You will let me do that during sex though, right?”

You burst out in giggles, nodding and kissing him.

A/N: this was my first tumblr post ever so please give feedback if you want!! Thanks so much for reading ❤️

+ I did use spanishdict for the Spanish nicknames Miguel used, please lmk if I used them wrong or anything so I can fix them !

(the normal shit, don’t copy or redistribute this pretty please)

[sufferingsinnur]

My thoughts on Helluva Boss: APOLOGY TOUR and FULL MOON

Trigger warning to Stolas defenders, I guess.

I don't like the way the episode decided to make Blitzo the villain back to back. Stolas was such a hypocrite acting like he's done nothing wrong. "have you ever even apologized?" what a bold fucking thing to say after you banished him from your home when he attempted to do just that.

People keep getting something wrong about Stolitz, and that thing is..

THEY'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

And they never were. Blitzo does not have to spend every waking moment with this man if he doesn't want to. Sure, Blitzo does have feelings for him, but he also understands that they are strictly on BUSINESS because of a CONTRACT.

I don't see yall calling Angel Valentino's ex. Because they're not in a relationship. Same goes here.

Blitzo was hired as a BODYGUARD in LooLoo Land. Not a fucking escort. A BODYGUARD. Stolas made it very clear what his job would entail and what does he do? Flirt with him the ENTIRE TIME on a trip that was meant for HIM and his DAUGHTER.

I refuse to believe Blitzo has this many exes. How does he have this many when he couldn't even hold a relationship with Stolas or Verosika? Viv just wants to make him look worse than he is because there should be NO REASON why his exes can fill up a room.

He couldn't even bring himself to think Stolas or ANYONE could love him, yet he has this many exes? Viv, please. That's bullshit. They were flings or one night stands at best and you know it. Or idk, attended because Verosika is idk...A POPSTAR????

We don't know jack shit about these people. They could've been the toxic ones all along. And Verosika's just validating their pathetic asses. (Not all of them, but some select few, or most.)

Verosika's party is NOT helping anyone. She's acting like she's some unsung hero. "you almost make me feel bad for hating you" you should feel bad. You put this on yourself. It is NOT that hard to GET OVER IT. Blitzo is NOT that fucking hot. You're a grown ass woman, a millionaire probably at that. There should be NO REASON you can't afford therapy or find someone new.

She's not making it any better for the party goers. She's not letting them MOVE ON. She's bringing back these painful memories for the sake of 'helping them'.

I swear if she just got the fuck over it they would too. She's the one bringing in all this hurt EVERY YEAR.

Like, okay, it might work the first time. But EVERY YEAR?? Hell no. Now you're just being petty.

Can we talk about this "better than blitzo guy" who just swoops on in?? Like no. No no no. Stolas doesn't just get to have a happy ending. He has problems and we need to focus on those before we give him a new "impish little plaything" to toy with.

Neither of them are over Blitzo and they'll NEVER be over Blitzo, clearly. So this relationship is NOT going to work. Again, Stolas DEFINITELY has his issues and needs to fix the way he views people below him before he even DARES to try dating one again.

Blitzo put everything before Stolas, like his daughter and employees. As he should. Stolas puts Blitzo before everything, and THAT'S why his ass got his heartbroken.

Blitzo didn't even say NO. He just didn't understand. He knows this idiot has a hard time with these things, and yet held it against him anyway. I don't care what pills he was or wasn't on. There's no excuse for his actions when he KNOWS he's in the wrong.

Blitzo has already been called out for everything in the show itself, so I won't bother with him. They're both in the wrong. I need Stolas' to get what's coming to him.

[screamsortega]

safer;

summary: at a costume party you get absolutely wasted, and a man tries to take advantage of that, and of you. before he could, chad swoops in and stops it.

warnings: cursing, mentions of murder, scars?, blood

pairing: chad meeks-martin x fem!reader

*lowercase intended*

you laughed, the words that escape your mouth are slurred. “you’re lying.”

“the last ones kicked, i’ve got some hard stuff.” the guy you were speaking to said, “i’ve got some fire ball in my room.”

the two of you began walking through the party, “are you omega beta?”

“not yet, but i might rush it.” you responded.

“you look familiar, where you from?” the guy asked.

“michigan.”

anika had walked up to the two of you, “you think you maybe wanna call it a night?”

“i’m not that bad, you don’t have to wait for me.” you said, waving her off as you and the guy continued to walk.

“not that bad? she’s totally wasted.” mindy had piped in.

“yeah i know, i doubt she’ll budge though.” anika began, “does she know what he’s doing?”

“i’m not sure,” mindy started, “i’ll go get chad.”

mindy practically ran to find chad, luckily she did. “you’re needed, big guy.”

“can it wait?” chad asked, taking a jell-o shot.

“no, it’s y/n”

chad immediately dropped the cup and followed mindy to where you were just at, chad had spotted you and the guy walking up the staircase.

chad stood at the bottom of the staircase, “hey partner.” he said to the guy. “y/n’s good down here.”

you had taken a step down, “sorry bro, i didn’t catch that.” the guy said.

chad let out a laugh, “yeah, you did.”

“no, chad, it’s fine,” you slurred, practically stumbling down the steps. “i want to.”

“see, chad?” the guy spoke, “she wants to.”

the guy grabbed your arm, pulling you up the steps which causes you to lose your balance and fall, but that didn’t stop the guy.

you groan in pain, chad immediately grabs the guys arm, pulling him off of you. “how about you get your fucking hands off of her?” chad spoke angrily.

“get the fuck off me.” the guy said, pushing chad’s chest.

“guys, guys.” you said, adjusting the headpiece to your costume. “stop, stop.”

“yeah, sorry to interrupt.” sam says, coming out of nowhere.

“i’m just gonna taze you in the balls real quick.”

chad turned towards you, grabbing your hand to help you up. “you good?”

“yeah, yeah i’m good.” you responded, holding onto chad’s shoulder for support. “let’s get you home, alright?” he says, looking into your eyes as you nod in response.

you all had made it home and you were know sitting on the edge of your bed, pain banging in your head as you hear a knock on your doorframe.

you glance up to see chad, holding a bottle of ibuprofen in one hand a glass of water in the other. “can i come in?”

“of course.” you respond, a slight smile crept on your face.

he sets the glass of water down on your bedside table along with the bottle of ibuprofen. “how are you holding up?”

“good.” you smile, glancing at the ground. “sorry for making you almost get into a fight or whatever.”

“it’s fine,” chad laughed, “it would’ve been worth it.”

for some reason, you felt tears welding up in your eyes and soon after that, they started to spill down your face. you quickly wiped them hoping chad wouldn’t notice, but he did.

“hey, what’s wrong?” chad asks, worry evident in his tone as he places a hand on your shoulder.

“i don’t know,” you started, resting your head on his shoulder. “i just think that loving me must be so fucking hard because it seems like i can’t find anyone who’s interested in me and not just interested in sex. i don’t know how to explain it.”

“i get that,” chad spoke softly, “but i want you to know that you are the most beautiful, loving, caring, and amazing girl that i have ever met.”

you smile at this, looking up at him. “thank you.”

“of course.” he smiles back, the two of you sit it silence for a moment just mesmerizing each others faces.

your faces grow closer and closer but before your lips could connect with his, your roommate, quinn, interrupted which caused both of you to snap out of your trance.

“woah, i’m sorry,” quinn began, “i cockblocked you, didn’t i?”

“what?” you and chad say in unison.

“cockblock? i cockblocked you didn’t i?”

“never say that again.” you laughed as quinn exited your room.

“well,” chad started, “i’ll leave you alone now.” he got up, walking towards the door before saying, “goodnight, y/n”

you sat there, but before chad could officially exit you stopped him. “chad, wait.”

he hummed in response, looking back to you. “can you — like stay in here, with me, tonight? i just, i don’t know, feel safer with you i guess.”

chad smiled, walking towards you after closing your bedroom door, “of course.”

[tgmsunmontue]

It's all academic darlin' EPILOGUE

~39k+ Hangster AU. IceMav established in background.

Bradley is a professor but living his best life with IceMav parents. Jake is a pilot. Maverick sort-of tries (and fails) to play matchmaker, so he tries again. Touch of epistolary and sprinkling of one-sided unknown/mistaken-identity.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9 PART 10

This is a very fluffy feel-good epilogue. Didn't quite manage to shoehorn in more of Bradley lecturing and Jake being in there, or as much epistolary as I would like. ENJOY! (~4.5k long)

EPILOGUE

            Bradley was meant to fly last night, but he’d ended up being kept back with something drastic in the lab, so he’d missed his take-off timeslot. Instead it’s fucking ass o’clock and Jake is watching the little six-seater come in to land and he’s pretty sure the swooping in his stomach is because the man he’s pretty sure he loves is inside that plane. It’s been a week of revelations and he can hardly believe it’s only been a week. He watches as Bradley follows the directions of the ground crew before he’s walking toward him, bag slung over his shoulder and he looks great. His legs and ass are gorgeous, but he’s walking with a little jump in his step like he’s immensely happy and Jake’s pretty confident that he’s the reason.

            There aren’t any words, just soft-slow smiles and Bradley has dropped his bag, is pushing Jake against his rental car, hands on his ass as he presses himself against Jake’s front and then kisses him for a solid three minutes, maybe five, and it feels so good to be touching him again, to have him there after just talking to him on the phone in spare moments during the week when they’d both been free.

            “Hi there sailor...”

            “You are such a dork.”

            “Guilty as charged. What are you going to do about it?”

            “Suffer, apparently. Come on, we can go back to bed…”

            “Really now? When I went to all this effort to look good to meet your family?”

            Jake doesn’t mention how his hair is squished from wearing the headset in the plane, his shirt rumpled and buttoned incorrectly. He looks like a wet dream come to life and Jake wouldn’t want him any other way. He throws Bradley’s bag in the backseat, shoves him toward the passenger side and starts the drive back to the house they’re staying at.

            “Adam and Michelle are your brother and sister. Adam’s married to Kelly, they’ve got three year old twins. Michelle is married to Lachlan and they have the five year old, three year old and the baby…”

            “Yep.”

            “I’m not going to remember this right.”

            “You’ll be fine, it’s not like they’re going to quiz you. Also my sister is going to go so easy on you, pretty sure she’d given up hopes on me finding anyone. Bachelor for life.”

            “Yeah, when you’re so ineligible and everything…” Bradley snorts.

            “Maybe I was just waiting for perfection to come along,” Jake replies and catches the immediate flush to Bradley’s face at the compliment.

            Of course his sister is awake when they arrive, his eight month old niece, Emily, passed out on her shoulder and she looks half asleep herself. His industrial strength earplugs have come in handy this week, but parents can’t ignore their screaming offspring.

            “Oh hi, Bradley. It’s nice to meet you…”

            “Hi, you must be Michelle.”

            “Here, let me take her so you can go back to bed…” Jake offers.

            “The other two will be awake in less than an hour –”

            “All the more reason to try and get some sleep now. She’s teething,” Jake says to Bradley, taking Emily from his sister’s unresisting arms and giving her a gentle push toward her own bedroom. Emily doesn’t even stir in his arms.

            “Nice to meet you Bradley, maybe I can have a proper conversation when I’m actually awake,” Michelle says, ambling off and only bumping into one wall as she goes. He shifts slightly, makes his hold on Emily a little more secure and one he can maintain for longer.

            “Do you want kids?” Bradley asks, voice quiet and somber and Jake meets his eye, suddenly terrified he might answer this wrong. This isn’t something they’ve ever discussed.

            “No. Uh. Sorry, is that a deal breaker?”

            “No, it’s definitely not a deal breaker,” Bradley says, and if Jake was going to put money on something he’s say he looked a little relieved. “You just look good like that.”

            “Bradshaw, I look good all the time. I though we’d already established that fact.”

            “We had, this was just one I hadn’t been expecting.”

            “Well, I’m more than happy playing the cool uncle. And helping my brother and sister out. No desire to add any mini-mes to the world.”

            “You’d make very cute babies…”

            “Bradshaw, our babies would be too hot for the world, it’s a good thing they’ll never come to fruition. You want to hold her? She’s dead to the world…”

            “Yeah, sure thing…”

            Surprising him Bradley scoops Emily from him with easy confidence and Jake knows he doesn’t have nieces and nephews, or cousins, or…

            “Plenty of my friends have kids. I’m also the go-to cool uncle,” Bradley says, clearly seeing the surprised expression on Jake’s face.

            “Our powers combined…”

            “And people think I’m the geeky one,” Bradley mutters, but he’s grinning at Jake. His stomach-heart-brain are on that three-seater roller coaster again and he can’t hold it back.

            “I love you.”

            He feels like he might throw up, suddenly nervous he’s said it too soon, or Bradley will run. That something bad will happen. It doesn’t. Bradley gives him a slow smile, it grows wider and wider, his eyes crinkling, his hand reaches up to cup Jake’s jaw and he’s pulling him close, his lips brushing over Jake’s and the kiss is gentle but firm, feels full of meaning somehow.

            “I love you too.”

            Okay then.

…         …         …

            “Bradley, nice to meet you. Haven’t heard much about you of course, he saves all the good gossip for Michelle.”

            “Hey! Michelle and I both like – oh crap… hi kids.”

            Bradley snorts into his coffee, stares up at the ceiling for a brief second in the hope it’ll stop him from bursting into laughter. This has to be Adam and his wife Kelly, each of them holding a toddler.

            “Were you being gross again?”

            “When isn’t he gross?”

            “Hey! I take offence to all of this! It’s slander!”

            “I had to watch your teenage years. You were gross,” Michelle says, looking more awake than this morning.

            “Oh! Do you have photos?” Bradley asks, and Jake squawks with alarm.

            Michelle does indeed have photos and later Bradley enjoys looking through them, although he can see that Jake wasn’t exactly brimming with the confidence and happiness he has an adult. Knows a little more now how his parents don’t talk to Jake; effectively disowned when he came out. The fact that his brother and sister walked away as well tells him that there’s probably even more to it but he’s not going to pry. Jake will tell him if he wants to. He’s smiling down at the photo of Jake on his USNA graduation day, his brother and sister on either side of him when he feels Michelle settle down beside him on the sofa, Emily in her arms.

            “Thank you.”

            “What for?” Bradley asks, a bit confused.

            “For giving my brother what he deserves.”

            “Oh. Easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

            She smiles and gives him a one-armed hug before passing him Emily.

…         …         …

            “You look like a natural holding that baby…” Mav says over the phone and Bradley frowns before spying Jake over in the doorway, phone in hand and grinning at him. Traitor.

            “Jake’s sending you photos.”

            “Hangman appreciates my desire for grandchildren.”

            “Hangman knows how to direct your obsession toward something actually feasible. I think Ice is lucky you couldn’t knock him up. Jesus Mav.”

            “I like kids okay? They’re cool. Anyway, he could’ve knocked me up. We’re equals like that.”

            “Ugh. I don’t need to know.”

…         …         …

            Jake hasn’t felt this happy, this settled, since he can remember. Maybe when he was a kid and didn’t have any worries in the world. Now he has his family, Bradley, a formal screening process to begin for the test pilot position and everything feels so good. So right. He doesn’t even have an impending sense that something bad has to happen to balance it out. He simply feels secure and content and it’s heady.

…         …         …

            “Hey, you think you could ask Michelle and Adam whether they’d mind a couple more visitors this weekend?”

            “Did you want to bring friends?” Jake asks, because there is a spare bedroom, but depending on who Bradley wants to bring might mean they don’t have the space. They have the house until Sunday, but they’ve got long drives ahead of them so will be leaving early.

            “No. Mav and Ice want to come. I don’t have labs this Friday and I can rearrange someone to take my lectures…”

            Jake grins at the idea that Bradley’s family wants to meet his, that Bradley is rearranging his work to help that happen. He knows this isn’t normal but it’s also not usual for his family to all be in one place.

            “You want to come a day earlier? Yeah, that’d be great.”

            “Earlier and with extra people.”

            “It’s fine. We’d nearly out-number the kids and be able to let the parents have a date night or something…”

            “Or something huh? You angling for more nieces and nephews?”

            “No! But they might like to have some time together without their kids there. They’ll probably just sleep if their conversations are anything to go on.”

…         …         …

            He watches the plane come in and just waits, the feeling far more familiar now and he’s hopefully going to be watching Bradley fly into and out of his life regularly and he wouldn’t want it any other way, except maybe living together but one step at a time. He watches and then laughs, realizing that Bradley didn’t fly this time, is stalking toward him from where the plane is being towed into a hangar with a slightly annoyed look on his face and Jake kisses him, glad to see it wipes the annoyance clear off.

            “He didn’t let you fly huh?”

            “Of course not. You think I’m allowed to fly when he’s in the plane? He’s far too much of a control freak for that. I don’t want to know what he promised Ice, because there wasn’t even the hint of an argument this time. By the way, Ice is the same with cars. It’s a whole thing. You’ll get it as well.”

            Sure enough Jake is hip-checked out of the way as soon as they’ve exchanged quick hellos and hugs. Jake sure isn’t saying no to sitting in the back with Bradley, but he’s not going to not be an annoying shit about it, tosses a wink at Bradley and links their hands together; waits until they’ve been driving for a minute before speaking.

            “Are we there yet? I’m hungry… Bradley’s breathing too close to me.”

            “I need to use the bathroom!” Bradley adds in, realizing what game Jake is now playing, and he’s laughing.

            “You two are such shits. Can you not act your age?”

            “We’ll start acting our ages when you two do the same…” Bradley says, laughing.

…         …         …

            “Adam, nice to meet you again. Much nicer circumstances this time around.”

            “Pete, good to see you. And yeah, definitely much better. Can I get you a drink?”

            Bradley looks between them, a little confused as to when their paths could have crossed.

            “When did you guys meet?”

            “At the hospital, after Jake’s accident.”

            He remembers Jake mentioning an accident, hadn’t realized it had maybe been serious enough to require family to fly across the country. He’s going to need to ask Jake later, is suddenly filled with the worry that something might happen and he won’t know about it until well after the fact. Hates the idea for so many reasons but it’s definitely the idea of not knowing which is the worst. He needs to add Jake to his own emergency contact info so he’s not left in the dark either.

            Ice is using his text-to-voice app to talk with Michelle and Lachlan, before Mav drags Adam over to introduce him as well and Bradley feels like he can maybe leave them to it and drop the bags in their room.

            “This is a little surreal… my nephews are trying to climb the legs of the COMPACFLT so they can play with the device he’s holding,” Jake says, coming up behind him and wrapping his hands around Bradley’s waist.

            “Ice loves kids, but usually kids are scared of him because he can looks so serious and he can’t talk very well to reassure them now, but he won’t mind…”

            “Oh, I know he won’t mind. He puts up with you and Mav, and now me… he has the patience of a saint.”

            “The patience maybe, but nothing else is saint like and we all know it.”

…         …         …

            Bradley watches as Mav settles himself on the ground, pushing some of the blocks to the side. He remembers Mav playing with him a lot when he was a kid, remembers him bringing him presents, nearly always toy planes, but they’d changed, once his dad had died. He’d gone from being excited about the presents Mav bought to simply being happy to see Mav. And okay, he doesn’t want kids but he does feel a little sad that Mav’s not going to be a grandfather.

            Except… except he can. Mav and Ice both are his dad in every sense that is important, and he knows Mav loves Jake. Their little family unit of three can easily grow to encompass Jake and his siblings and their families over time. Especially given that their own parents are not in the picture and likely never will be.

            “I’m still not having kids Mav, but I’m pretty sure if you wanted to step into the role of grandfather for Jake’s nieces and nephews there’s a couple of positions available for you and Ice. If you wanted them.”

            Mav nods once, simple acknowledgment that he’s heard him, but Bradley doesn’t miss the dampness in his eyes.

…         …         …

            He’s made himself comfortable in Bradley’s apartment as much as he can. Has permission to use his office while he’s on campus during the day and Jake lets himself lounge around and get comfortable. He pours himself a coffee and takes the mug and re-examines the bookshelves, wonders if any of the texts might prove useful to what he’s reading for the test pilot position.

            He’s not really paying attention to anything when he hears a quick knock on the door, before the door is opening and he freezes, sense of déjà vu so strong he has to double check he’s actually fully dressed this time. He is thankfully but he’s wondering how many people have fucking keys to Bradley’s apartment.

            “Oh my god! You’re not Bradley.”

            “Ah, no. Uh…”

            “Oh! You’re the boyfriend! Jacob right?”

            “Jake. Yeah.”

            “Kezia. Nice to meet you.”

            “Uh. And you…”

            “Bradley didn’t warn you I was coming over?”

            “No.”

            “Typical. I’m here to make sure his indoor plants don’t die. I’m his plant person.”

            “Plant person?” Jake asks, a little confused, but he vaguely remembers something Bradley said, about how he couldn’t keep plants alive and maybe that’s why he has a plant person…? His phone rings then and he pulls it out, sees Bradley’s face on screen and accepts the call.

            “Hi.”

            “Hi. I forgot to tell you –”

            “She’s already here.”

            “Shit. Sorry.”

            “It’s fine…” Jake says, but Kezia is moving closer, clearly aware that he’s talking to Bradley.

            “Nice work Bradshaw!”

            “Fuck’s sake…” Bradley mutters and Jake grins, but knows he’s also maybe blushing a little. “I was a little distracted this morning okay, then I was running late.”

            “Got distracted huh? Wonder what caused that?”

            “Yeah, you’d have no idea huh?”

            “None at all. You go do your teaching shit, I’m going to make Kezia a cup of coffee…? Tea? And ask all about your ineptitude with house plants.”

            “He’s useless,” Kezia says loudly, but she’s already heading to the kitchen to make herself a hot drink of some description and Jake thinks he’ll get on fine with her too.

…         …         …

            “Hey kid! I bought you something!”

            “Uh, you didn’t have to do that Mav…”

            “Oh no, I did.”

            Jake opens it and inside the cardboard box is a muzzle, and he looks at in in dawning realization.

            “Are you making a comment about their sex life?” Ice asks, and Jake snorts, glad he can follow the most of the signing now. Wonders if Tom would be so risky with his conversations if more people understood what he was saying.

            “No! Well. I guess I am actually.”

            “Well, hate to break it to you Mav, but that mark wasn’t left by me.”

            “What? What do you mean?” Mav asks, suddenly concerned and Jake will never get sick of being able to wind him up knowing that he’ll think it’s funny at the end of the day.

            “It’s a rope burn…”

            “What!” Mav flushes red and Jake keeps his expression deadpan.

            “Your fault for asking about their sex life,” Ice says, his expression delighted.

            “I wasn’t!”

            “You mean you didn’t want me to wear this in the bedroom?” Jake asks, holding up the muzzle.

            “I meant it as a joke…!”

            “Ah… what the hell did I just walk into?” Bradley asks, looking between them. Ice is laughing so much he has tears at the corner of his eyes, breath coming in rough gasps.

            “Mav bought us a sex toy.”

            “No I didn’t!”

            “A muzzle for me because of that new mark on your neck…”

            “A rope did this…”

            “I don’t need to know!” Mav exclaims, and Jake wonders if he can start turning purple with how red his face is.

            “From climbing Mav. Fucking hell. A rope got caught on a hold and scraped over my neck and gave me friction burn.”

            Jake has joined Ice in laughing, the expression in Mav’s face caught between relieved and embarrassed and Bradley just looking resigned.

…         …         …

A YEAR LATER

            He’s finished his test-pilot training, managed to maintain a long-distance relationship with Bradley in San Diego and himself in fucking Maryland. Now though he’s enroute to Fallon, beginning as an advanced Top Gun instructor in five weeks. First though he has five weeks uninterrupted with Bradley and a piece of land he bought that he has plans for, sitting adjacent to the same piece of land that belongs to Tom. He’s meeting Bradley there, his family coming for two weeks of camping and he can’t wait to have them all in the same place.

            Once he lands in Fallon he immediately rings Bradley, and he’s going to have to reward him for this phone lasting almost nine months when he sees him. The last one had survived over a year, which had been a record when it had slid off the wing of Bradley’s plane and crashed onto the airstrip. Something that’s happened before apparently. Mav has shared a spreadsheet with him for sole purpose of roasting Bradley and he can’t wait to be closer to them all again.

            “Hi…”

            “Hi. God it’s good to hear your voice.”

            “Well, we’re lucky we don’t have to deal with grossly different time zones anymore. Are you going to come up this weekend?”

            “Ah… Yeah. I guess I’ll be this weekend. Although my plans for my romantic weekend away are being crashed by Ice and Mav. They heard about the work you want to do and want to help.”

            “Bit presumptuous of you thinking it was going to be romantic…”

            “I said my romantic weekend, not our romantic weekend. If you’re good you can watch…”

            “Really now?”

            “I guess you can touch if you really want to.”

            “Trust me, I’m going to want to. Been too long.”

            “We’ve gotten very good at phone sex though.”

            “We have. Still prefer you in person.”

            “Of course you do. Anyway, do you need me to pick you up or you got a car organized?”

            “I thought you were still at home?”

            “Not so much…”

            Then Bradley’s walking around the corner of the building where he’s clearly been watching from and Jake drops everything and is kissing him, desperate to remind himself of the planes of his face and body and he pulls back suddenly.

            “What the fuck happened to your moustache?”

            “It’s called shaving?”

            “I thought we were meant to consult each other on major life decisions?”

            “I slipped with the clippers and took one third off. Trust me, this was the better option. I’ll grow it back. Not having one makes Emily cry when I video call…”

            “Fuck I love you.”

            Bradley smiles, kisses him breathless and Jake doesn’t need to hear the words anymore to know he feels the same.

…         …         …

            Bradley’s nervous, because this isn’t the only surprise he has up his sleeve. He knows Jake has plans for their summer, building a cabin similar to Ice’s but a bit away on his own piece of land. Somewhere his family can come and stay, a place for him to call home. Except… he hadn’t particularly wanted to spend their five weeks building, and laying foundations and priming. Mav had fortunately jumped at the chance for a larger project, and between them they’ve laid the foundation, erected the walls, paid to have the roof and outer walls all installed by professionals.

            It’s a much bigger place than the three-bedroom cabin belonging to Ice and Mav. Once finished it’ll easily host Jake’s siblings and all his nieces and nephews, at least while they’re small. He just hasn’t exactly told Jake that he and Mav have been working on it, sometimes under the careful supervision of Ice. Some rooms he’s gone ahead and finished off, getting professionals in again to do the bathrooms and kitchen, glad he hadn’t had to live in the building while it was being built and finished.

            Jake’s bedroom, their bedroom, has been left untouched. Needs paint and drapes and light fixtures. He wants to do that room with Jake, hopes that gesture will help Jake accept that he hasn’t been involved with the rest of the build. He drives past the entrance to Ice and Mav’s cabin and Jake makes a little sound, glances back before realizing that maybe Bradley is taking them to his piece of land first. As far as Jake knows there’s the concrete foundation that he organized to be laid several months ago. That not what awaits him when he turns down the rough drive.

            “Holy shit…”

            “Yep,” Bradley says, agreeing, because it does look impressive. Two stories with wide wrap-around porch, finished so it blends into surrounding forest. It’s much bigger than the original plans Jake had made, but Bradley had taken them and still based all the decisions on them. The internal fixtures are all still the ones that Jake had chosen and he’s still nervous that Jake is going to be upset. He stops the car and gets out, follows as Jake stands there and stares around.

            “What… what happened? Did you do this?”

            “Yeah. Me and Mav. With help from quite a few professionals. Been a busy few months.”

            “Holy shit Bradley.”

            “I mean, happy belated anniversary and congratulations on finishing test pilot training?”

            Jake lets out a little sound that may be a half-hiccup half-sob and Bradley is pretty sure he likes it. He wraps his arms around him, hugs him tight and presses a kiss to his cheek.

            “I love you… so much.”

…         …         …

            “You sure about this?” Javy asks as Jakes stares down at the display case.

            “You know, I’ve never felt more certain about anything more in my life. I can’t imagine a better relationship than what we have, except getting to call him my husband, so… yeah. I’m sure.”

            “Good for you man. So happy for you.”

…         …         …

            He’s an hour overdue his usual second cup. His morning lecture having a student stop him afterwards with a question, and then an online meeting stopping him from just nipping into the breakroom like usual, so it’s much quieter when he walks into breakroom and does a double take.

            What the fuck.

            Hanging from the ceiling vents are mobiles of fucking origami roosters. Lining the windowsills, the edges of the coffee machines, the little tables and benches, lips of the whiteboard where the markers usually sit, the arms of the chairs (at least the ones that actually have arms, it’s a pretty eclectic mix of chairs). Everywhere he looks there are just more and more hiding and he wonders how many students got involved with this. There have to be thousands. There are a few people sitting, seemingly unconcerned they’re surrounded by origami roosters and can’t really move without standing on them or knocking them over. Then he spies Michael in the corner, phone held up and no doubt filming. He stalks over, culprit identified.

            “Dude. What the fuck?”

            “Not my idea actually. I just helped implement it. What do you think?”

            “I mean… points for literal creativity but why?”

            “Jake. Being a sappy romantic.”

            “Jake made these?” Bradley asks, looking around.

            “Only some of them, but definitely that mobile over there. It’s for your cabin apparently,” Michael says, expression dry, but Bradley doesn’t care. He’s flushed with warmth knowing that Jake has somehow managed to pull a prank like this off, gotten his friends and work colleagues and likely his students all secretly folding origami roosters…

            “Man he’s an asshole…”

            “An asshole that loves you. Bradley Bradshaw, will you marry me?”

            He spins around and Jake is there, down on one knee by the shitty coffee machine that never works, there’s a crowd of people now, standing and watching and he gapes in surprise. Jake is meant to be in Fallon, not here. But he’s not… he’s here. Proposing to him.

            “No! I was going to propose this weekend!”

            “Not the answer I wanted to hear Bradshaw. You’re just too slow…”

            “I’m just the right speed when I need to be and you know it.”

            Jake smirks and nods his head slightly in agreement, stands up and moves toward Bradley, wrapping his arm not holding a ring around his waist.

            “You still haven’t answered me darlin’…”

            “Yes you asshole, of course I’ll marry you.”

…         …         …

            Jake stares at the email in front of him and feels an intense flood of déjà vu. He’s emailing a guy about his research into materials for the new plane he’s going to be involved in testing and he’s asked a difficult question apparently.

Thanks, I’ll check with my supervisor and get back to you. He’s got a lot more experience than I do in this area.

            It’s a highly confidential project. He’s signed a lot of forms which he painstakingly read. He cannot talk to anyone about the project unless they’re already in the know and while he suspects that this is exactly the field that Bradley consults on he can’t fucking ask without giving it all away.

…         …         …

            “Hi there…”

            “Hi. What’s got you in such a good mood?”

            “Well, just got reminded how smart my fiancé is.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Mmm… test pilot, consulting with the US Department of Defense Research and Engineering group…”

            “Has it been you I’ve been emailing again? I’d swear it’s not you, but he said he had to check with his supervisor…”

            “Yeah. I’m his supervisor. Mentor really. He’s doing his post-doctorate. He forwarded me your emails and it just got me all nostalgic…”

            “You mean it made you horny.”

            “That too.”

…         …         …

            Bradley is giving a public lecture, a taster for the University Open Day because he’s apparently always a hit with the crowds. It’s not long, only fifteen minutes and is meant to touch on the different engineering disciplines and their applications. He spies Jake about halfway through and stumbles, his words just failing as his brain stalls at the sight of his fiancé.

            “So, when it comes to materials science, often when you know the properties of each material, when you add them together they form something stronger, something better, because they’re added together. Working together. So in this case one plus one is not two. One plus one is greater than two.”

            The grin Jake gives him is blinding.

[songmingisthighs]

Genesis

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

<< previous | m.list | next >>

ch. ix - chilly

fashion mogul!mingi × reader

buy me coffee ?

things aren't always what it seems but when even the truth is left unheard, what can people do? one musn't lie but what if the lie is more accepted than the truth? the scariest thing in this world isn't monsters or demons. it's people with no agenda and time to waste.

You had always felt somewhat calm in hospitals. You don't know if it was the smell, the minimalistic design or the fact that the drugs are just RIGHT THERE. It wasn't really disneyland for you, but it wasn't anxiety inducing.

"(y/n), do you need to pee?"

That does though.

"No, Yunho, I'm fine," you sighed but offered a small smile at your friend. Usually, he'd make sure whatever you need is met but this time he simply nodded and looked back to his phone. This made you huff and close your eyes in annoyance, "Yunho, you can't be mad at me for doing what I think is right," you finally said. Yunho didn't bother to look at you when he shrugged, "I'm not mad at you for doing what you think is right for you, I'm mad at your ex who fucked with your mind so bad that he managed to change who you are as a person," he muttered loud enough for you and your other two friends to hear.

Thankfully, before you and Yunho got into a bitching match, Jongho swooped in and tugged your arm, "Hey! I think it's your turn now!" He stood up, taking you with him, leaving Yeosang to scold Yunho to not provoke you in such a sensitive day.

To say that the doctor was surprised when you came in with three men was an understatement. "I... See you and the father has brought some friends," the doctor said, smiling unsurely as she looked between you and the boys. "None of them is the father, they're just moral support. The father is not in the picture," you stated, shifting your eyes away from her. Sensing that you weren't really feeling great, the doctor thankfully nodded in understanding, "I see. Well, no matter the availability of the dad, South Korea has a great program to aid expecting mothers as they are improving the birth rate. We can help you register for the maternity aid right after this and you can just focus on yourself as expectant mothers should." Hearing her use the word "mother" multiple times made your heart clench. You wanted to correct her, you wanted to tell her how you're NOT going to be a mother. You don't even know what you want. Heck, you don't even know why you're there in the first place. It was such a shocking news that you haven't really processed what was going on. You didn't know what to do whatsoever. You couldn't even come up with the idea to check up on the baby that was growing inside you to confirm the pregnancy. Truth to be told, Yunho had to basically force you to do an ultrasound because last time you got yourself checked, you found out you were pregnant and you just bolted.

Despite his disagreement with you, Yunho stepped up to talk to the doctor in consideration of your reluctance all the while Yeosang sidle up next to you with your hand in his as an attempt to calm you down. Jongho too made himself useful by giving your information to the doctor. You were the one being completely useless by just sitting there, accepting whatever it was the doctor recommended for you. You couldn't even get yourself to focus enough to even listen to the conversation. Your head was too riddled with the conflicting thoughts of what you want and what you think you want. Since Yunho mentioned it, you couldn't shake off the very based fact that you really do want to be a mom and what has been hindering you is the fact that there is no man who's romantically involved in your life like how you planned. Should such an important decision be made when you're in such a negative state that you can't even decide between wearing skirt or pants?

For days, you have been trying to find other rational reasons to not keep the baby. Financially you were stable and you even have savings for the future, your company provides you with great benefits, your living situation is above average, and technically speaking you have all the mental and physical support you will ever need. There were absolutely no reason for you to not keep the baby. Even mentally you were ready. -ish. As best you could considering no one is ever mentally ready to welcome another human being they created who made their entrance by screaming. All reasoning, all doubts you ever had only pointed to the absence of a man, THE man, who you wanted to share the experience of being parents with. It was starting to become ridiculous for you to be so hung up on a broken plan.

Somehow you managed to move yourself to the the chair with your shirt hiked up to just above your stomach. Your three friends huddled up to your side in curiosity and desire to show support. "Now, I'm going to put some gel on you and it might feel cold at first but once I move the wand around, it's not going to be as cold, okay?" The doctor said. Even with the warning, you couldn't help but tense up once the liquid hit your skin, the sensation made you clutch onto the fabric of your pants. But sure as she said, once she moved the wand around, the coldness dissipates and all you could feel was the slight pressure of the wand.

The doctor narrated what she was doing but you couldn't seem to concentrate on her words. While your friends had their eyes glued to the monitor, your were trained on the ceiling above. Noticing this, the doctor paused her movements and pulled the wand away from you, "Is something wrong, miss?" She asked. Though you wanted to tell her something, anything, you couldn't find your voice. It was stuck on your throat like a piece of gum to the sole of someone's shoes. You knew then and there that you were panicking because the reality was dawning on you and you had no way of getting out of realizing it.

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed yours and like an anchor, it pulled you back to your senses. Your eyes met with Yunho's stern ones and in the steadiest voice you had ever heard from him, he said something that managed to calm the storm in your mind.

"It's going to be okay."

You knew he wasn't just talking about that moment, he was talking about your pregnancy in general. It was such a simple sentence but it the surety in his voice immediately reminded you of how much the four of you have been taking care of each other. As much as they joked about you being the only one keeping them alive, the only one who had the good sense when it comes to taking care of other human beings, you had to admit that they themselves have been taking care of you since day one. They offered their shoulder to cry on when you got your first scolding on the job, they shared your happiness when you told them you finally found the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and they helped pick up your broken pieces when you left. You had been so caught up with one man that you selfishly forgot you had three. Sure, they were not the person you had hoped for, but they were your constant in a series of uncertainty and disappointments.

"I'm scared," you choked out, tears brimming in your eyes. "Of course you are," Yunho nodded, finally cracking a smile at you, "You're gonna be the biggest pain in the ass for the next nine months, I'm gonna have to fugure out how to bulk order aspirin," he joked which made you whine and slap his hand. "But," he continued, "At the end of that nine months, we're going to welcome the newest addition to our little group and it will be a good thing, you hear me? Sure, it's gonna be spittle and tear-filled, and that's only from Yeosang's side," Yeosang scoffed and punched his friend on the side of his arm which made you chuckle a bit, "But it's gonna be so worth it and we're gonna be there with you for every step of the way, okay? You're going to look back at this day and regret not worrying more about your baby taking after us too damn much." It amazed you how easy Yunho made the situation seem in the best way. While it didn't immediately made you feel 100% better, you realized that it pushed the negativity away and replaced it with something you can't quite describe.

The doctor took the reduced tension as a cue to continue ger exploration. It didn't take long for her to halt her movements and announced to the whole room, "And look, someone here wants to say hello." All three of your friends tore their eyes off of you first and you had the pleasure of seeing the bewonderment in their eyes; their pupils dilated and their jaws slacked, it was as if they were seeing something so magnificent and you had to admit you had never seen them with that look. Curious, you too looked at the screen, slowly tearing your gaze away from your friends to where each of them were looking at.

From the moment you laid eyes on it, you could immediately tell what you were looking at. There, in the vast nothingness, a tiny blob appeared as a proof of life. You couldn't help but look between the screen and where the wand reside on your stomach, not being able to hold yourself back from reaching to the spot with your vacant hand and pressing on the spot gently. Noticing this, the doctor smiled and nodded, "Yes, that's where your baby is, miss."

Ever since he left you, ever since he told you what he thought of you, you gave up on the notion of a family. You were so in love with him, it was him or no one and you had intended to keep your promise because you know he'd at least respect that. But that little bean-shaped dweller, a creation that has yet to have its own sentience and had to depend on you to live, that little bean caught your heart the moment you laid eyes on it. With shaky hand and trembling breath, you touched the screen and for the first time in three days, you smiled at your baby as you let your tear drop. "Hi baby, it's mama. I'm gonna take such good care of you and even though it's gonna be just the two of us, you're gonna have the best life I could ever give you, okay?" "This is uncle Yeosang, and your mom's lying because me and uncle Yunho and uncle Jongho are gonna be here too for whatever your mom refuse to let you do. Fair warning, I will not have the power to say no to you so please don't abuse my weakness." While his words were sweet, Yunho and Jongho couldn't help but shove him down to a chair and scold him for ruining your moment. Though it made you laugh so they couldn't really get mad at him. But he was right, neither you nor the baby will be alone and that's what matters. You've made up your mind and just like you at your job, you're going to give it your all into being a mom with the help of the little family you created.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet

taglist :

@ateezourstars @phenomenalgirl9 @90s-belladonna @yunhorights @cqndiedcherries @stopeatread @aestheticsluut @spooo00oky @kodzukein @galaxypox @mayonnaisehoeshit @maddiebabyxoxo @dreamlesswonder86 @charreddonuts @jwnghyuns @angelicyeo @axo-l0tl @gxlden-bxbyy @bbymatz @blaaiissee @kyume02 @aurora-tiny @senpai-of-doom @meowmeowminnie @thesolarplanetarysystem @seonghwaddict @camillelafaye

@randomness7198

[dreamwatch]

Spotify Wrapped Writing Prompt

Look, I was pretty sure someone asked for this, but I can't find the ask and I've written it and I think I'm a little bit in love with it, so sharing anyway.

-----

#66 - Hard To Handle by The Black Crowes

Eddie hates waiting in line. Life is too short (a lesson he learned the hard way) for standing around waiting for things. With the exception of getting gig tickets or getting into those gigs. Both valid reasons to wait.

Maybe less so this gig.

It’s not really his scene, there’s more than a few poseurs in the line, but Kyle likes the band and, as so often is the case with them, Kyle gets what Kyle wants.

Eddie gets… a little less.

He’s at the stage in his life, at the grand old age of twenty four, where he craves companionship over sex. While his friends are still fucking around, literally in some case, Eddie needs to settle. Needs the peace and stability. And he’d never, ever, admit it to anyone, but he needs to be taken care of. The thing is, thats a hard sell in your early twenties. But Kyle got it. Got him. His need to be looked after. The fact that he had scars and trauma and health issues from ‘an accident’. He was okay with all that.

For a while, anyway. Things change though, right?

Eddie earns shitty money, so Kyle pays more of the rent, and he gets the sense more and more that one wrong move, one missed pay check, or fuck, if he lost his job, Kyle would throw him out on the street. What’s love got to do with it? as Tina would say. So he finds himself toeing the line more and more. Doesn’t argue about the stupid shit, let’s Kyle have his way more and more. Just little things.

Little things mount up to be big things, though.

So yeah, he comes to gigs he’s not really into and he sees bands he might not have bothered to, and he listens to music thats okay, but it’s not him, you know? Its like, him adjacent. 

And all of that is why he’s standing outside the Ritz Music Hall in Indianapolis, freezing his balls off, waiting to get in to see The Black Crowes.

Kyle got to talking to some people in the line, and Eddie just smiles and makes out like, yeah my god, great band, like he wouldn’t have been arguing a few years back about how Iron Maiden were clearly the superior artists. He doesn’t have the fight in him for those kind of arguments anymore. So he nods and smiled, hands shoved in the pockets of his shitty old leather jacket, scarf pulled tight around his face. Tight around that scar.

He zones out and he’s looking around, people watching, killing time. Eyes up and down the line as he keeps moving to keep warm. And he spots it, about thirty people ahead of him, that swoop of brown hair that he knows oh so well. 

No fucking way.

He tells Kyle he thinks he’s spotted a friend, won’t be a second, and all that, and then heads down the sidewalk.

“Steve?”

Chestnut Swoop spins to look at him, and he didn’t even need him to, he knew who it was. Knows that hair anywhere. Those shoulders, the way he carries himself, the way he moves. Eddie knows it all.

“Eddie? Holy shit!”

Eddie nearly gets knocked off his feet, Steve lunging toward him and practically pulling him off the ground into a bear hug. He’s kind of lost for a second, before he wraps his own arms around Steve and squeezes back. He smells good, and Eddie recognises his cologne. Eternity for Men. He picked it out for Kyle, and Kyle just scrunched his nose up and walked off. Steve’s wearing it. Something Eddie would have chosen.

Steve pulls back from him but hangs on to his arms, like he’s taking him all in. Eddie’s heart is thundering in his chest.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Actually, scratch that, where the fuck have you been?”

“Here, in Indy… mostly. It’s a long story.” Steve raises an eyebrow but Eddie plows on, doesn’t give him a chance for a follow up question. “What about you man, here to see... “ he points to the marquee up above. 

“Yeah,” answers Steve. “Yeah, there’s a few of us from work and, fuck! Robins here! She’s gone to pee,” Steve looks around, as if Robins pissing in the street, “uh, somewhere. Man she’s gonna lose her shit when she sees you.”

They talk, and Steve introduces his work friends and Eddie can’t help himself, he’s checking them out trying to work out which one is Steve’s girlfriend. Robin screeches “Eddie!” as she runs up the street, practically throws her self at him. He gets the overwhelming urge to cry. He’s feels like an idiot. 

“Eddie? Come on man, we’ll lose our place.”

Kyle comes up behind him, looking mildly pissed. He’s eyeing up Steve’s friends and then his eyes are all over Steve. There’s no way he doesn’t recognise him. Eddie has a photo album that he started putting together in 1986. Pictures of the kids, of Wayne, of Robin and Nancy and Steve. There’s one of the four of them sitting on the porch of Wayne’s new trailer, beers in hand, all cheering at the camera as Wayne took the photograph. Eddie and Steve practically in each others lap. That one is in a frame. Kyle clocked something there straight away. Eddie gave him nothing. Close friend, he said. Kyle huffed, sure. Subject closed.

It was the weirdest thing. And it wasn’t just trauma bonding, or whatever the fuck Robin called it. The trauma got them together, maybe, threw them altogether on a big spin cycle and spat them out, but Eddie and Steve clicked. They’d have clicked without it. So easy to say opposites attract, but they weren’t that different really. Not when you scratched the surface. 

And it wasn’t really anything but it wasn’t really nothing, either. There were late nights under blankets, and well you’re staying over and it’s cold so you may as well climb in the bed, dude, and I can’t sleep wanna go for a drive? and arms thrown around shoulders, and sitting side by side, knees touching. There were pinkies linked, hands over hands, lying in bed crying, foreheads touching. Nothing, but everything.

They had two good summers before Steve said he was moving away. Nothing for him in Hawkins, apparently. Eddie couldn’t hide the hurt, so he ended up burying it in the back of his van with his backpack and his guitar and left town first. Said goodbye to Wayne and just took off. He came back for holidays and birthdays, but if Steve or Robin did the same, Eddie never knew.

And now they’re outside the Ritzy Music Hall in Indianapolis and it’s November and its cold and Kyle is standing there like he wants to start swinging his dick. And Eddie? He just wants to grab Steve by the hand and run. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t run now. He follows.

“Um, I should get back,” he says.

Steve’s brows dip, like he’s confused. “Fuck no! Cut in with us. I’m not letting you out of my sight, dickhead.” Steve laughs but it’s stiff and his eyes don’t really leave Kyle. 

“We’re good, thanks.” Kyle throws his arm over Eddies shoulder, pisses on his territory for all to see and starts to drag him away, but Eddie pulls out from under him.

���Just a second,” says Eddie. Kyle cuts him a look, sharp and beady. Eddie reaches into his pocket, finds a scrap of paper. No pen. Shit.

“Ooh, yes, pen! I have one!” says Robin, and he loves her, and fuck he’s missed her so much. And her hair is different, and she looks so cool. It’s only been three years and he’s missed it all.

He jots his number down and hands the paper over, before snatching it back and adding another.

“Top is mine, or Kyles, I guess,” and he’s so embarrassed at that, “but the bottom one is Waynes. He’d love to hear from you.”

And so its goodbye, and call soon, and he’s back in line with Kyle and Kyle is in a shitty mood now. Declares how he just wanted to enjoy his night, and well apparently Eddie running into the best friends he ever had, the ones he ran away from so they couldn’t hurt him first, well that just fucked Kyle’s night right up. 

They’re in, eventually, and the band come on, and now Eddie at least has noise to drown out the thoughts ticking over in his head. He feels suddenly so empty, so cold. He has work in the morning, and he’s starting early and he could feign any number of ailments at this stage, but there’s this terrible little thought at the back of his mind that he could end up with all his shit thrown out in the street. 

The band play a slow song, one he knows is called Miserable and deep inside he’s laughing at himself. Kyle is swaying away, one step away from getting his lighter out by the look of him, so Eddie taps him on the shoulder and tells him he’s going for a piss.

There’s another line at the bathroom, everyone else jumping out during the slow song, but eventually he’s at the front, gets in an out in less than a minute. He doesn’t want to go back inside. He keeps looking around, hoping he’ll see the swoop, or Robin’s pink streak in her blonde hair, but the place is packed and it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. He fucks off to the bar instead. Another line. Why not?

The song changes, and he knows this one, intimately. It’s an Otis Redding number. He has a really intense memory of his dad singing it for his mom. His dad fucking loved Otis Redding. It punches something inside him and he feels breathless. He gets to the front, orders his Jack and coke, he’s in a go big or go home kind of mood now, and its not until he opens his mouth to order that he tastes blood. He raises his hand and touches his lip. He was chewing it and he didn’t even notice it. 

His mind’s in a fucking pit now, and there’s this song and he just wants to go home, but it’s not even his. Nothing is his. 

There’s a hand tapping on his shoulder and like, a fucking fight is the last thing he wants and the best thing that could happen to him tonight. He turns and gets a face full of Steve Harrington.

“Hey, you okay?” How does he do that? How does he just stay so reasonable, so considerate? Eddie ran away and they see each other for the first time in years and he could be pissed and angry but instead he just makes Eddie want to climb inside him.

“No,” Eddie says, honest for once. And then Steve’s hand is in his and he’s being dragged from the building, and they’re out on the street, and fucking Kyle, he’s going to—

“Hey, Ed, dude look at me.”

“Kyle—”

“Fuck Kyle.”

“What?”

They’re back on the sidewalk, with the smokers and the early leavers, and it’s fucking cold so he can’t hide the shiver. 

Steve rubs his hands up and down the sides of Eddie’s arms, because he remember. The way the cold seeps into Eddie’s bones and never leaves once it’s there. He remembers.

“I said fuck Kyle.”

“I have to…”

“You don’t have to do anything. You look fucking miserable, and I don’t like the way he talks to you. I don’t like the way you shrink when he stands next to you. You used to shine. He doesn’t make you shine.”

And what is he supposed to say to that?

“I’d make you shine.” Steve says that. Steve Harrington says that to Eddie Munson. Eddie stops breathing.

“I…”

“I’ve missed you, Eddie. So fucking much.” Steve looks right at him, eyes bright and wet. 

Eddie can barely answer, his throat tight. He sniffs, just nods like a fool in the middle of the street. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Let’s go somewhere. Get some food or something.”

“Robin—”

“Robins fine, she’s with her girlfriend.”

And he just nods again, like a dashboard ornament. “Kyle—”

“Do you love him?”

“What?’

Steve laughs. “I said. Do. You. Love. Him?”

Does he?

He loves having someone at home when he is because he hates being alone. He loves having someone lie next to him in bed so that when he wakes up the world feels real. He loves having someone to cook for, someone to go grocery shopping with. Someone to hold when they’re having a bad day, someone to hold him when his world is falling apart. Someone to show his favourite films to, to play his favourite albums to, to share books with. To laugh with. Someone to sit in the drive in and hold hands with. He loves that.

But he doesn’t love Kyle. And Kyle doesn’t love him.

“You always know, don’t you?”

Steve smiles at him, that cocky little smirk of his. Gorgeous.

“I always know.”

Steve takes his hand and they walk together.

Side by side.

[onevolon]

nostalgia - part 3

Kane(Annihilation) x afab!reader

summary: Kane begins to remember something. (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion + soulmates)

word count: 900

warnings: The end! (I initially wanted to do more with this story but my adhd says no :( so this is it)

you can also read it on ao3

part2 - masterlist

“It's really solid this time of year.”

This could be dangerous. “Oh, I don't know.”

“Come on.”

She is very persistent.

“Oh. So beautiful.”

“Isn't it?”

She starts to run towards to the center of the frozen river.

What is she doing? “Uh, don't go too far.”

“Whoo! Oww! Ow!”

Aaand she fell. “Are you okay?”

“Ouch! Ohh! Oh, my ass!”

“I think I should go back.”

“Oh come on. Come on! Come here.”

He walks towards her reluctantly.

“What if it breaks?”

“What if? Do you really care right now?”

No. No, he doesn’t.

“Here, let me show you this one thing.”

She lies down.

“What are you doing?”

“Come on.”

He sits on the ice.

“Think I heard a crack.”

“It's not gonna crack or break or...It's so thick.” She says as she pulls him down to lie down too.

“So, show me which constellations you know.”

Does he know any? Did he use to?

“Um... Oh.I don't... know any.”

“Show me which ones you know.”

“Okay.”  He hesitates for a second “Oh. Here's Osidius.”

“Where?”

“Right there. See? Sort of a swoop and a cross. Osidius the Emphatic.” He just really made that up.

“You're full of shit.” She giggles. It’s a really nice sound.

“Nope. Osidius is right there. Swoop and cross.” He insists for… fun?

“Shut the fuck up!” She cracks up.

***

“Hey…” He gently wakes her up.

“Hey.”

“Sorry to wake you, but we're... here.”

“Ahh. Can I come over to your house...to sleep? I'm so tired.”

He freezes for a second. Is Lena at home? No, she’s at work. Does he care what would Lena think of this? The answer doesn’t bother him as much as it should for some reason…

“Okay. Um, yeah. Sure.”

“Let me get my toothbrush.” She jumps out of the car.

He waits.

A knock on the car’s window makes him jump.

“Yes?

“Can I help you?” The man says.

What? “What do you mean?”

“Can I help you with something?”

“No.”

“What are you doing here?”

What is he on about? “I'm not really sure what you're asking me.”

“Oh.” The man deflates “Thanks.” The man walks away.

That was weird, he thinks.

“Vámonos, señor.” She announces her presences suddenly.

She’s really lively. It makes him warm inside somewhere deep.

“I-I had a really nice time last night.” He says hesitantly.

“Nice?”

Oh, that word again!

“Okay, I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life.” Not knowing if it’s true… but he believes it.

She grins “That's better.”

She look at some documents on her lap.

“This is weird.  To all patients of Dr. Howard Mierzwiak. My name is Mary Svevo. "We've met, but you don't remember me. I worked for a company you hired to have part of your memory erased. I have since decided that this is a horrible... In order to correct this, I'm sending everyone's files back to them.”

She puts the tape that came with the file.

Her voice rings through the speakers.

“I'm here to erase Kane”.

What? ”What is this?”

“I don't know.” She’s unsure of herself for the first time he notes.

“He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone? I've been thinking lately how I was before and how I am now, and it's like he changed me. I feel like I'm always pissy now. I don't like myself when I'm with him. I don't like myself anymore. I can't stand to even look at him. That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile. That sort of wounded puppy shit he does, you know? “

“What is this? What are you doing?”

“I… I'm not doing anything!”

“Are you screwing with me?”

 “No!”

“You are screwing with me.”

“Kane, I'm not!”

“You clearly are.”

“Look, let's just take a minute and...”

“Get out.”

“Kan-“

“Out!”

She gets of the car.

Is this anger he feels?

***

“Hi. The door was open…“

She’s here. At his house. How…ah.

“Look what I found.” He points to the tape player that is currently playing his interview with the doctor. “I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

“It's okay.”

They look each other for a while.

“Kane, I really like you. I hate that I said mean things about you.”

“Let me turn this off, okay?”

“Hey, it's... it's only fair.”

“You want a drink or something?”

“Do you have any whiskey?”

The things he says in that record are… cruel.

“Hey. Sorry. I thought there was more.”

They both try to ignore the words but…

“I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this.”

“I think i'm gonna... go. I'm a little confused. I don't really think I can be here.” She says.

He can’t argue.

“Um... bye.”

“Bye.“

She walks out the door.

A moment later he decides to follow her.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I don't know. Just wait. Just… wait.”

“What do you want, Kane?”

“I don't know. I want you to wait for... just a while.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Look, I'm not a concept, Kane. I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. I'm not perfect. “

“…I can't see anything that I don't like about you.”

“But you will. You will. You know, you will think of things, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped...because that's what happens with me.”

“Okay.” He wants this.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” He smiles.

“Okay.” She smiles too.

[bored-writer101]

X Reader Masterlist

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Nightmares | Bucky comforts you after you have a nightmare.

Good Morning | Waking up with Bucky, who doesn’t want you to get out of bed.

You Deserve The Word | Bucky can’t help but think that he doesn’t deserve you, but you assure him that isn’t true.

Five Years Later | Five years after the blip, there seems to be a way to bring back everyone… including your lost love.

Distraction | You wanted to finish unpacking your new home, but Bucky had other plans.

Tom Holland!Peter Parker

Will You Be My Girlfriend | Peter takes Y/N on a late night swing through the city before popping a very important question.

Cuts And Bruises | When Peter shows up bruised and bloody, you make sure to clean him up and take care of him.

Bedtime | Peter visits you late at night after patrol. He forces you to go to bed and get some much needed sleep.

You’re Spider-Man? | After it comes out that Tony Stark visited Peter, you make him tell you the real reason why.

Druig 

Never Leave Again | After many years apart, you set out to reunite with your love, Druig.

Foggy Neslon

Happy Valentine’s Day | After a tough day you completely forget about Valentine’s Day. Foggy, being the amazing boyfriend he is, does his best to cheer you up with an amazing night.

Stranger Things

Read more of my Stranger Things works on wattpad!

Steve Harrington

I’ll Always Be There For You | Steve does his best to avoid admitting his fear of horror movies to you. But during a movie night with the kids, you let him know that there’s no reason to be embarrassed.

Eddie Munson

I Promise | After you defeat One, you run back to your best friend, Eddie. You promised him you’d make it back alive to tell him a big secret you’ve kept from him for a long time.

More Bats | You can’t stop yourself from drawing more bats down eddie’s arm in pen, but you didn’t think he was actually going to get them tattooed on him.

Name Three Songs | You're wearing one of Eddie's Metallica tees when a guy tries to get you to name three songs. Eddie swoops in just in time to tell the guy to fuck off.

Jonathan Byers

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? | While your singing and dancing around Will’s room, trying to cheer him up, Jonathan comes home. He can’t stop himself from asking you a question he’s wanted to ask you for a long time.

Robin Buckley

We’re Supposed To Be Studying | You invited robin over to study, but she’s more interested in going through your things.

Bye Billy | You’re waiting for Robin after work, when Billy comes up to you. He doesn’t seem to be getting the hint that you’re not interested.

Eleven Hopper

You’re Cute When You’re Angry | Eleven helps calm you down after you get angry about failing a test.

Supernatural

Read more of my Supernatural works on wattpad!

Castiel

Crooked Tie | Castiel’s crooked tie drives you crazy. He becomes very confused when you start to fix his tie every time he shows up. One day he finally confronts you, asking you why you always fix his tie.

My Angel | You had fallen right into their trap. The angels were using you as bait to get Castiel. They made the mistake of underestimating him.

Sam Winchester

|Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist|

Rock, Paper, Scissors | You flirt with the brothers after a successful hunt.

Dean Winchester

Rock, Paper, Scissors | You flirt with the brothers after a successful hunt.

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

It’s Always Been You | You go to see Spencer at his apartment to check up on him. It’s been two weeks since the fiasco with maeve and he hasn’t left his apartment. While you’re there, the secret you’ve kept in all this time is revealed.

Aaron Hotchner

Worried | When you are kidnapped by an unsub, Hotch will do anything and everything to get you home safe.

BBC Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

Sneaky Cigarette | John convinced you and Sherlock not to smoke, but one day the two of you can’t help it.

Serenade Me | You’re bored out of your mind, so you decide to play Sherlock’s violin. He comes home to see you playing.

Harry Potter

Neville Longbottom

You’re My Happiest Memory | You and Neville find out your each other’s others happiest memory when trying to conjure your patronus.

Friday The 13th (2009)

Clay Miller X Reader | You are Clay Miller’s girlfriend. He’s taken you to the middle of bumfuck nowhere, looking for his sister, Whitney. She’s been missing for a month and a half after she went on a camping trip with some friends. You and Clay are determined to find her, but there is a hockey masked killer who is waiting in the woods for you.