#before reading book 3 i thought they were just a trans character before i was like oh these two are separate

[spock-adoodledoo]

if yun tianming/cheng xin is the one thing that gets me actively writing again i will be seen on the news

[lakesbian]

twig faq to answer all of the asks i got regarding my liveblog

Q: holy shit twig turned out bad huh A: yeah

Q: should i read twig? A: no. it's bad

Q: what about the parts of twig that were good though? i noticed that there were parts of twig that seemed awesome before everything suddenly exploded A: okay let me elaborate. the first ~13 arcs of twig are really really endearing when they're focusing on the lambs. when they're being about the lambs, they range anywhere from "cute" to "extremely fun" to "genuinely super compelling" to "shit that made me cry (positive)." we have high points such as:

12yo sylvester lambsbridge fumbles 3 people with crushes on him harder than anyone's ever fumbled in their life in the span of like 7 hours maximum

sylvester lambsbridge does transhet biopunk brokeback mountain

wildbow writes rose thorburn but if she were a hardass trans girl (she's the one doing transhet biopunk brokeback mountain with sy)

gordon dies and lillian copes by taking some of sy's drug that gives him turbo-adhd

helen is there

sylvester lambsbridge experiences what i earnestly believe to be one of the cruelest things wildbow has ever done to any of his protagonists

lots of other stuff, i'm abbreviating here

but the reason i say the first ~13 arcs of twig are good when they're focusing on the lambs is that twig is prone to slogging, strikingly mediocre fight scenes--sy can't fight for Shit, but wildbow still insists on describing, like, sylvester trying & failing to hit someone with a wooden plank with the same gratuitous, lengthy detail as taylor inventing a spider-based saw trap for someone. and unlike the spider-based saw trap, it's not interesting to read about. the arcs take an episodic format, and what this means is that virtually every arc goes on way too long, contains at minimum 40% more tediously detailed fight scenes than are actually necessary, and then leaves you feeling jarred when wildbow inevitably timeskips to the next arc just as the prior one was really getting into the emotional swing of things. i also have a (quite possibly subjective?) sense that twig wasn't as well-developed and thought-out as, e.g., pact, and oftentimes the setting conceit (1900s biopunk frankenstein-y british empire) doesn't feel like it's hitting quite as hard as it should.

for all of these reasons, i wouldn't have rated the first ~13 arcs of twig any more generously than in the 3.5-4 star range while i was reading them, but that's still an overall rating of good. i wouldn't still be thinking about some of the things from the first ~13 arcs of twig if they weren't overall good. if all of twig was the same quality as the first ~13 arcs, i would recommend it to people who i feel like could tolerate the pacing issues & would feel reading about the lambs was worth it.

but. BUT. BUT-

Q: so, twig turns out really bad, huh? what went wrong? A:

it is not all the same quality as the first 13 arcs. it turns out really bad the last 7 arcs are actually atrocious

the first thing that comes to mind if you ask me "what went wrong with twig" is that wildbow tries to write a trans woman as one of the main characters, and he does it badly. miss jessie ewesmont, my new favorite girl whom we need to get the fuck out of a wildbow novel. i think she was written extremely well--and in fact one of the top 2 characters in the book--prior to wildbow trying to handle her coming out. i'd even say the foreshadowing for it was perfectly well done and enjoyable. but after she comes out, during the last 7 arcs of the book?

you know how trans women are often victims of being treated as undervalued, disposable girlfriends, who are expected to coddle & cater to their partner's every whim while receiving effectively nothing in return? and you know how trans women are often treated as if they should be grateful for receiving (what is often less than) the literal bare minimum? and you know how trans women are frequently treated as if it's completely implausible for anyone to find them genuinely attracted or desirable, let alone worth pursuing or putting effort into?

yeah, the last 7 arcs of twig contain untold tens of thousands of words of wildbow reinventing all of that from first principles. this is a subjective experience, but it genuinely felt worse to read than amy dallon. at one point, the Disposable Trans Girlfriend in question literally says "i appreciate you not killing me" after she gets stabbed in her sleep by her boyfriend, sylvester. it's beyond parody. i've never said "WE HAVE TO HIT WILDBOW WITH HAMMERS" more in my goddamned life than while reading the last 7 arcs of twig. Transmisogyny Fucking City. it's a completely unforgivable and miserable reading experience.

and speaking of unforgivable and miserable reading experiences involving bigoted handling of a main character...onto Item No. 2 on the list of writing decisions that ruin twig! the ableism.

wildbow wants all of the lambs to--due to being ill-fated human experiments--have set expiration dates. one of the Main Points hanging over the entire narrative of twig is that every single lamb is, in all likelihood, going to die of complications from the way they've been experimented on before they're even twenty. two of them do die from those complications before the story is even halfway over: jamie's entire mind & sense of being is regularly taken out of his body, and one day, the doctors can't get it back in. gordon is a ~15yo with the heart problems of an elderly man, and they kill him while he's still young enough to make one of his last acts begging to see his dog one last time. it's good. it's tragic, it's interesting.

the problem is that wildbow's decision for how to depict sylvester starting to experience end-stage complications is to...turn sy into an ableist horror movie trope villain. sy hears The Devil telling him to kill his friends, and he just fuckin' blacks out and then comes to like "oh no...what's all this blood on my hands." i'm talking "mental illness is a Demon that can Possess You and make you an Evil Serial Killer" levels of ableist writing. like wildbow straight up turns sy into the joker from the movie joker. it's like that one "insaaaaynenene....assyyylum..... cray-ay-zeee...Insaayne" tiktok, you know the one. it's why he stabs his disposable trans girlfriend.

and it's baffling because: 1. wildbow wrote worm. you'd expect better from him when it comes to writing mental illness. but his skills apparently stop short of being able to depict a character with psychosis without making it cartoonishly ableist. but also, 2., sy doesn't only start becoming mentally ill at the end of arc 13! the previous arcs do very clearly establish that he's extremely codependent with the other lambs and needs continuous support to avoid experiencing life-threatening mental health episodes. he experiences dissociation, he struggles with severe memory loss, he acts erratically, he has self-injurious tendencies, he hallucinates, he talks to himself in public. prior to the start of arc 14, all of that is written with perfectly amenable levels of nuance and empathy towards sy. i wouldn't describe it as glowing representation, or anything, but it's by no means egregious.

but after arc 13? change of plans. now he's the joker from the movie joker, and we have to watch while his friends chain him to an armchair so he doesn't go around randomly cutting peoples hands off in a murderous fugue state.

it's bad. it's extremely bad to read.

the third item regarding how/why twig becomes terrible is a lot more simple to summarize: it becomes almost entirely about the previously mentioned sloggy fight scenes as opposed to about the lambs. and when it is about the lambs, it's often terrible to read anyway, due to the aforementioned issues with the handling of protagonist sylvester lambsbridge and his disposable trans gf. the plot becomes incoherent and uninteresting to the point where it's not even worth the effort of attempting to summarize how or why. everything that made twig good more or less entirely disappears from the story, and things that make it fucking awful are added.

Q: okay but lets say i have something unfixably wrong with me and i want to read twig anyway. wheres the best stopping point? arc 13? A: yeah it's arc 13. it's not a satisfying stopping point at all though. nor is the rest of twig prior to it really worth it. just don't waste your time. go read a good book, like pact, instead

Q: what the fuck is up with helen? A: :)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: june 2024

before I get started on June, I have to issue a correction from May: I forgot to include a book!

last year I backed Iron Circus Comics' erotic anthology My Monster Girlfriend, edited by Andrea Purcell and Amanda Lafrenais, and it finally arrived just ahead of pride. My Monster Girlfriend contains 15 stories by all by different artists, and features protagonists who get it on with everything from the classic ghosts, werewolves, and vampires to a reality-warping angel (?) who contains infinite dimensions, a sleep paralysis demon, and an all-consuming flesh monster hivemind.

while I would have liked to see a little more variety in the freakishness of the actual sex, the anthology is a lot of fun and shows off a great diversity of art styles and scenarios in which one might get down to clown with a monster girlfriend. my personal favorites were Feather by Kanesha C. Bryant, in which an intrepid pervert boldly attempts to locate their girlfriend's genitalia; MonsterHER Under the Bed by Bont and Wes Brooke, which puts a cute, sexy little spin on the monster under the bed; Forest Wedding by Otava Heikkilä, which reads like an old timey fable except it ends in a giant forest woman getting crazy fisted by her new trans husband; and Girl Fiend by InnKeeperWorm, which is infinitely jackoffable even though, frankly, the hellhound should have stayed in her more monstrous canine form to fuck.

okay, now onto the June reading! I found myself reaching the end of the month surprised that I had added so few books to my 2024 spreadsheet, and then I realized: it's fucking PRIDE MONTH and I'm a career queer. I spent most of June either busting ass working various events or in a coma recovering from said events; no wonder I didn't read as much as I thought I would. I also gave up on one novel after sinking close to 200 pages in it, which means the list is even shorter, but trust me: the DNF was the right decision.

so, who made the cut for pride?

The Monsters We Defy (Leslye Penelope, 2022) - this book was a romp! it's fun! it's a hoot, dare I say! this is a historical urban fantasy that takes place in the Black society of 1920s Washington, DC. protagonist Clara and her band of ragtag magical misfits have a heist to pull off against one of the most powerful Black women in DC, with their own curses and powers at stake. it's a fun story with a neat magic system and lots of words that are capitalized so you know they're Magical and Important, and it's a read that goes down real easy. strong recommendation if you find yourself in a slump!

Just for the Cameras (Viano Oniomoh, 2023) - my first foray into independently published romance! and it was... fine. the plot's a little patchy, sure, but it's definitely not the worst romance I've ever read, and at least a throuple made for a nice change of pace. AND nobody's seething with jealousy or insecurity about multiple partners? you love to see it. this book was apparently originally intended to be a novelette and it definitely could have stayed that way, but if bisexual Black hotties sucking and fucking is what you seek then you're going to have a great time. TW: 2/3 main characters are British.

Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs (Ina Park, 2021) - to the surprise of absolutely no one who knows me, this is one of my very favorite nonfiction reads of the year so far. I cannot emphasize this enough: if you like the way that I talk about STIs and sex ed on this blog then I think you'll really like this book, because having read this book I desperately want to be her friend. she brings so much passion and energy to her work that it bursts right off the page and is - pardon this awful pun - absolutely infectious.

Survivor (Octavia E. Butler, 1978) - for those you not in the know, this book is kind of a get. it's the only book of Butler's that was never reprinted, so now you can only read it if you get ahold of a super expensive original edition OR if you, hypothetically, find a PDF online and print off the entire thing on your work printer. and I'm so glad I did the latter, because holy shit this book whips ass. the book was apparently disavowed for its lack of connection to the rest of the Patternist series, which is true but oh my god, the story is SOOOO cool anyway. we've got a human woman named Alanna who grew up feral on Earth only to be adopted by a Christian cult who are GOING INTO SPACE to preserve the human race, but it turns out there are already intelligent people on the new planet and they have Feelings about what the future of these human missionaries is going to be. it's on Alanna to navigate the clashing cultures and tension between the humans and two warring groups of aliens, and it is fucking URGENT. I don't say this lightly but I think this has ascended to be in my top three Butler novels.

No Name in the Street (James Baldwin, 1972) - ooooooh my god you guys!! oh my god!!! I've never read any of Baldwin's long form nonfiction, but within pages I knew that this was going to pretty permanently change my brain. this memoir-ish book delves into, among other things, Baldwin's witnessing of the American civil rights movement, including the deaths of Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Medgar Evers. woven around that is the alienating experience of being a Black man with exactly enough cultural cache and social clout to sometimes isolate him from the people he grew up with but not nearly enough to buy acceptance or safety in a white society, emphasized by Baldwin's unfinished struggle to free a friend from prison after a wrongful murder charge. and somehow that's barely doing the book justice! it's so vast and incisive and weary and impassioned and it did, truly, have me jotting down the names of everything Baldwin ever wrote to make sure I can read it all. as much as I bemoan my habit of impulse reserving books from the library, I really am indebted to the Stacks podcast for getting this on my radar.

[sam-blackbird]

An analyse of Umbrella Academy s4's posters (beware of s3 spoilers, ofc)

Hi! Today, the official Umbrella Academy Instagram account published season 4 posters, and since I'm very excited about this, I'm gonna try to analyse the posters, or what I can tell about them.

It's going to be long so grab a snack if you want / can, put on a cool playlist, and let's dive down! I'm going to do it poster by poster, in the order it was posted, from the oldest post to the newest (so not in numeral order).

We can notice that the characters are cut in two, the Portal way.

Anyway. First of all: Viktor !

Ngl, I had a moment when I saw he had the masculine uniform.

But past my joyful moment, my mind went racing so fast I couldn't keep it down, I had to share my thoughts (even if there may be only one person reading me, but whatever).

First thing first, it's interesting that the first one isn't Luther but Viktor, who is, the main character of the show (or at least, that's how I see it). Or a least the most important one. (if the last scene is Viktor ending his reading of his new book, about his siblings, not only would it be a fucking good epanadiplosis but it would make me cry the hell out of me)

After all, the show open with him, following him. And nothing would happen if it wasn't for him. He's the one trying to get the family stick together, and (unwillingly) starting apocalypse (twice or thrice, shit happens).

Let's focus on the poster now. On the left, we have a clothing reminding us of the Umbrella Academy days, or rather the "how it was before the show", except they are adult, and Viktor is here shown post-transition (and not pre-, as he was in the first two seasons). What does that mean? Fuck if I know. That being said, I think it have its importance (if they wanted to put children instead, they would have, wouldn't they?). However, we can note that he is not wearing neither the boy shorts (nor girl's skirt, for obvious reasons), but some secretly third option, aka a grey pant (is it the sport pant?). He is standing out himself, as a trans man (not wearing a skirt, yet not wearing the boy uniform either, as if he wasn't fully in that category somehow? idk).

Viktor's posture is straight (lol), and I associate it with being calm, obedient (he listen to everything Reginald says (ex: take these pills), and since Reginald is perceived as a father figure, it makes sense that Viktor wants to obey him, maybe hoping he (Viktor) will be loved and recognized as valuable). And also with being like a puppet. Or a muppet. The point is: He's not free of his movement, he doesn't have free will.

His face doesn't look happy. Nor sad. Just... neutral. He's just... there.

On the right, we can't see his face, yet his posture seems way more relaxed! He's wearing casual clothes, more modern ones, adapted to the world without powers they're now seems to live at the end of season 3.

His looks reminds me of the one of Tyler Ronan from Tell Me Why, a game by the studio Don't Nod (I fucking love that game). Both characters are trans man.

(These are pictures of Tyler)

Anyway. Casual clothes. Blue, like the uniform. I won't analyse that, this post is already long enough.

Tbh, I haven't saw again the last episode of season 3, so I don't remember if it was the clothes they were wearing or new ones.

Also, Viktor is holding an umbrella in his right hand, probably a reference to the Umbrella days. Like, it's a part of him, he can't leave it behind, he physically have it with him (even if he doesn't have the power).

And the Umbrella is closed, unlike the ones from the previous seasons's posters.

Like, season 2's were opened (and full), and season 3's were opened and damaged (and they were hiding the protagonists' faces, showing implicitly the influence of the academy on them).

Next one, Luther !

We almost can see his face on the right!

But anyway, let's start by the left. Luther is walking, straight, in what could be either a military walk or a relaxed one (? don't quote me on this please, I can't explain). His posture screams "confidence" and "I'm number one, I'm a leader, follow me!". Or something like that, I'm no posture reader, just someone who watched way too much police and detective shows. He's wearing the Umbrella uniform (and it's so fucking weird to see it on a grown ass man!). His hair are cut short.

On the right, he's wearing a more casual look. There's something going one with his arm muscles, but I can't be bother to search what. His hair are longer than on the left. He is wearing gloves and an umbrella, and walking shoes. His umbrella is cutting his name (does it have some symbolism? Maybe.)

He's still wearing blue (like Viktor), even if it's a different kind of blue (and it kinda fit him).

Nothing more to add. (yes, I have my favorites, and despite liking Luther, I won't kill my eyesight anymore than necessary for details).

Next! Diego!

Let me preface this by saying that it's so fucking weird to see him in that uniform. On the left, he's walking like a good little soldier, following the leader.

On the right, he's the embodiment of a relax guy who can (and will) definitely yeet you out of the picture if needed. He's not wearing anything casual. It's more like a killer / soldier clothes, with his precious knifes.

DOES HE HAVE A MUSTACHE????

He's holding the Umbrella on the shoulder, as if he can't be bothered with it (and/ or he's gonna use it as a weapon).

Next! Not number 3, but the one who's linked to Diego! Lila!

Love that she's officially "Lila Hargreeves".

The left outfit is like the one she had in season 2 when she was with the Handler and stuff about her past was revealed (so interesting and meaningful choice of outfit). Her heels are thin, as if she wasn't stable (with her life situation and all).

Yet, on the right, her heels are thicker, more stable to move (she's more free to go).

Her clothes are modern and the flowers fit her really well, I might say. Her hair are put up, like the active badass woman she is. They're brown again, and not white/ blond anymore, it's more natural.

She overall looks like a business woman, with a casual chic.

She too, is holding an umbrella, which make her fully part of the family. She hold it casually.

Next, another girl: Allison.

Ngl, I'm no big fan of hers, so this will be short.

On the left, she's confidently wearing her UA (Umbrella Academy) uniform. Her hand move don't really feel natural (saying this as someone who sometimes draws human beings). Her hair are like the one from season 1.

On the right, she looks like a business woman and a mom. Her posture looks aslo determined, while relaxed. She have business to do, and no one will stop/ prevent her from doing so!

Girl power and all that.

(I'm trying, I really can't stand how her character was wrote during season 3)

Neeeeext! Let's go with one of my fav, Klaus!

I have to say, it is criminal that a) his hair are short on th right side (loved his long hair) and b) where's the skirt?! He slayed in it! Anyway.

On the left, his walking looks very mechanical, as if he was a machine, a robot (lol) (I won't do any joke about Grace). Yet, his posture his not natural (no one walks naturally torso in one way and legs in another, if that makes some sense).

His eyes are closed. Why are his eyes closed? Idk. Maybe he closing his eyes on what happened during the UA days. Maybe it’s symbolizing his absence of choice. His face is still, resigned, accepting his fate. Maybe to show he’s kinda dead inside?

Klaus had always been closed to death, more or less metaphorically speaking, as he can see ghosts (= dead people, or what remains of them).

His hair is all over the place, reminding the crazy days he had to get fucking blasted to avoid said ghosts.

Right side is colorful. He's beauty, he's grace, WHERE ARE HIS HAIR?! No but more seriously, cutting one's own hair symbolise change in many culture, and more specifically letting go of the past, embracing new beginnings, and/ or undergoing spiritual or personal transformations. I have no idea how to interpret that.

He seems to float, to ascend (plz don't kill him). He is bare foot (bare feet? idk) (fun fact: in the comics, he could only use his power when sober and with bare feet) (I won't go down the rabbit hole of barefoot symbolism and its link with death, I'm not mentally well enough to do that).

He his wearing a yellow coat with flowers (flowers, like Lila!). Yellow is associated with joy, fest, sun (and Klaus is a comic relief, a feel good sunshine character), and flower, life. (again, plz don't kill him)

What reinforce that idea of tragedy is that the umbrella he's wearing is the only one who isn't black: it's the umbrella he was holding during Reggie's funeral in s1. Plus, he's holding it with three fingers out. What's the meaning of three? Idk. Maybe it’s for Allison? Maybe it has a link with God (the Christian one)? Yk, Holy Trinity and all that. After all, doesn't Klaus met God (the little girl in the afterlife) regularly?

Does that look good or bad for Klaus? No idea.

Speaking about looking good, Ben is back, alive. I won' t go far enough to say "well", but he's alive.

On the left, he's standing straight, walking in a unnatural posture. Following only.

On the right, he is bend (idk why tho) forward (his hips are forward his shoulders, curbing like a closing bracket). His clothes are casual (and looking alike the one Viktor had been wearing during s3). His umbrella also cut his name (like Luther's). He's a Vans' boy!

(please, no mustache for him)

We can't see if he's wearing glasses or not.

Last of the Hargreeves kids (if you count Lila as one, and if not, last one of the power-gifted Hargreeves): Five.

On the left, his posture is haughty. His hands are in his pants pockets. He know what he wants, he is very sure of himself, maybe because he thinks he is better than everyone (he can think that, given what happened) (some might even say he have a bratty attitude, but I'll answer, well have you seen him during season 1???)

(my personal theory is that he is bend forward to be smaller on the left than on the right, because he appears to be)

On the right, he left the UA uniform for a more formal suit (some call it 'the grandpa / old man suit'). His hair are longer.

He's walking down like he had no shit to give anymore (he doesn't) and he's ready to throw hands (he totally his).

HOLY (S)HIT HE'S HOLDING THE UMBRELLA IN HIS RIGHT HAND! Why? Why is he te only one wearing the umbrella on the other hand? Is it to accentuate his difference with his siblings (+ Lila)? Is it to show how differently he see his time at the UA an how differenlty he uses his powers? I mean, given he didn't spend as much time in the UA as the rest of them, ofc his vision and perception of the UA is different. Even his vision of time is different.

Or he’s just left-handed.

And now, BEWARE! THE REGINALD JUMPSCARE! (or is it scare jump? Anyway, I've been working on this post for more than an hour and a half, plz be indulgent, it's late and the day had been long)

On the left, we see the whole umbrella for the firs time on these posters. Said umbrella is closed but not entirely (it could be open anytime).

Reggie is wearing a lilac/ purple suit, which is a color hard to dye (so it costed a lot and was reserved for royalty / rich ppl before industrialization and the use of chemical products for clothes dye; and we know Reggie arrived/ was on Earth on 19th c., so during the industrialization). He is “young” looking (like he was in the 60s), and seems well assorted (who tf have two jacket pockets on the same side tho?)

On the right, he's old and wearing a brown suit. Brown can symbolize the Earth, which can provide: ppl are depend on it to eat and therefore survive. In a way, he was a Earth for his children, as they were dependent on him (does that makes him a good father? Absolutely not!). (that thought, of Reggie being a Earth, is funny given he is an alien / an extraterrestrial being)

And if you put them all in order, you get :

(notice how Klaus's picture / posture melt greatly in Five's?)

And that's it! Damn, that was long. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think about all of that in the comment!

[ekat-fandom-blog]

Personal canons are the canon everyone has created based on the canon and fanon content they've consumed.

Expansion not necessary. I just wanted to add my thoughts.

1. Examples range from wanting to wrap his drinks in a web before drinking them to wanting to fall asleep curled up in the back corner of his closet. No, it doesn't matter which Spider-Man.

2. This one is just my perception of the two. There's nothing I can actually tell you about this other than the vibes seem to match.

3. The headcanon of Poison Ivy eating mostly meat is fun. (Not fully carnivore because I think she'd also eat plants because it's necessary to eat both to be a healthy human and can be healthy for the environment if done in moderation). I decided to combine it with Danny Phantom for this because I haven't seen anyone do it before. So, Ivy being mostly carnivorous and Sam being ultra-recyclo-vegetarian would be appalled at each others diets.

4. Cyborg's connected to a supercomputer created by a more scientifically advanced society, while Barbara is a human (I specified her because she's the best Bat at hacking.) Her being the best hacker in the universe is a stretch at best. There's gotta be computer languages she's unable to decipher because it's so different to any on earth. (I don't think anyone from earth should be able to hack cyborg or the mother/father boxes.) If your supercomputer can be hacked by the equivalent of a preteen with a 2010 samsung who doesn't even recognise the coding language you used, then you didn't create a supercomputer. (Mother/father boxes are sentient, autonomous computers btw.)

5. Young Justice was good. Great. It just seemed to stop caring as much about having the new audience learn about the characters after season 2. I wouldn't know who Razer is if I didn't watch Green Lantern: The Animated Series. I stopped having emotional connections with the characters by season 4 and they stopped wrapping up storylines in an emotionally fulfilling manor after season 2. As someone who never read any comic books except for Spider-man/Deadpool and a few green lantern ones and one batman and spider-man crossover, I don't care about the characters they shove into the show and expect everyone to care about.

6. I get it. The "he won't stop if he does it once" was only in one comic (apparently) and the comic was written by someone that (apparently) most of the fandom doesn't like. I don't care. Every reason he has for not killing is valid and coexists. He collects reasons to not kill like it's gold and he's a dragon. The only reason that is invalid and can't coexist is that he doesn't care enough about the people that could get hurt or killed to permanently stop people like Joker, Bane, or Scarecrow.

7. It makes sense if they were the two to get touch starved easily. Dick grew up in a circus where everyone was presumably pretty tight knit and Tim grew up in a home where appearance mattered more than feelings. But also they happen to be the characters I like to torture.

8. Strange is petty and I 100% believe that Tony started it. (Stephen is finishing it though.)

9. Freddy Freeman can't walk without crutches and flies in the comics. (I haven't read them, tho) I feel like it's erasing disabled peoples' struggles when they just give him the ability to walk in his hero form. Let him be a little flying guy who never touches the ground.

10. It's a comic thing again. I just think it's more interesting. (I found pages of captain marvel comics in google images and tumblr.)

[rimurutempest]

Hello.....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 10 favorite (fictional) characters from any media? Why do you love them all? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......

Interesting specific.......

7 media huh?

SLC Punk - live action movie from the 90s about Punks in Salt Lake City during the 80s. As a trans person that grew up in Arizona in a region populated by a ton of Mormons I sorta related to it kinda and nowadays I feel like it's actually a really funny, really scary, and really beautiful movie that gets overlooked a lot.

The Shining by Stephen King (book) - it's not my favorite horror novel and it's not my favorite Stephen King novel, but it was the book that got me to enjoy horror. The story is so scary and good, the characters are fleshed out, and there's a whole underlying dialogue about abuse and alcoholism that's very scary. Which is part of why I don't like the movie, cuz the movie adaption (erases the usefulness of the titular "Shining") sorta erases the personal story about alcoholism and abuse. And, it's definitely there still, it focuses more of its efforts on just being a spooky haunted hotel, it's style over substance to me. The connection of the personal and horror made me sort of see the true story telling value of the genre, and now I'm like. In love with horror.

Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi (manga) - the best way to explain this is, what if Freaky Friday were more of a psychological horror. Reading Inside Mari has been a very important thing to me as an adult, I sorta see myself in it and there's so much trans emotions in this (there's a whole thing that Oshimi is probably trans), this work is so dear to me I refuse to read to watch other people's take or interpretations, which sounds bad but I just want my special thing that I interpret my way to be interpreted my own way. It's amazing and I love it. All of Oshimi's work has hit me in a personal place.

Wandering Son by Takako Shimura (manga) - one of the first portrayals of a trans person I saw in manga, and honestly still one of the best. There's a lot of criticisms we could give it, but I love it and I related to it so much. It was nice to see a story follow such a young trans girl (and boy) and see them grow. Probably part of why I decided to finally identify as trans.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica the Movie Part 3: Rebellion (anime movie) - this one is largely just emotional stuff that's coincidental. The original Madoka tv show (and thus first two movies) were great but I never thought it was perfect, but Rebellion emotionally murdered me and as everything else mentioned, it felt so relatable. Came out in a very important time frame for bonding when my husband, so I got to see it in theaters with him (twice technically, we went a second time with a friend) plus I got to see it with another friend (three times total) hehe. It's just like, a very big date for my husband and I, I remember it perfectly down to what I had for dinner (my first bowl of professional made ramen lmao). The movie just, really hit, and the circumstances around seeing it were just really important to me.

Lateralus by Tool (album) - I'm sure some people are gonna be like "whaaaa how edgy loser" or whatever about this. But Lateralus was an important album for me cuz it introduced me to larger intellectual concepts I'd never considered before, made me really fall in love with that brand of music, and was one of those things I would put on repeat when I felt very depressed (read: dysphoric). I know the members have sorta grown into shitty people (namely Maynard) but this album is just very important to me.

I'm just going to say The Green Knight (movie), there's a lot I want to put here, especially a lot about Arthurian literature, but I think the best way to just, placeholder all the Arthurian shit I'm obsessed with. The Green Knight is a fantastic adaptation that's incredibly beautiful and well acted. Love it.

tbh w/ you I don't wanna do characters rn so if you swing back by later I might.

[ekjohnston]

hi!! i was watching the new apprentice arc in tcw, and i was thinking...

how would a transmasc nightsister or transfem nightbrother look? im asking you primarily because of sister the trans clone and tepoh, so i do trust you with my trans star wars!!

being transmasc myself, im foaming at the mouth for more trans star wars characters, and the concept of a trans nightsibling would be amazing to see!!

would mother talzin and the leader of the males in dathomir send over a trans person to the other camp? a nightbrother with pale skin and no horns? a nightsister with colored skin and horns?

just a cool concept that i'd love to see you flesh out!! :] <3

Hi!

So this is a lot to think about, because so frequently in non-human humanoid Star Wars species, sexual dimorphism is both extremely visible AND tied to social status/role. Furthermore, the nightsister/nightbrother alliance already involves more than one species (I THINK???, like, the Nightbrothers were exiled Zabraks and bonded with the Nightsisters who were already there??? I am reading the wiki and trying not to accidentally find Acolyte spoilers, so I am not reading too closely🤣).

I seem to recall Talzin altering Savage Oppress to make him a more useful warrior, though. And I know adding magic to a trans narrative can immediately cause separate issues, but it's definitely something to consider when building a character from a planet full of witches. What makes you a Nightsister, your assigned gender or your culture and magic? How would the combination of social role and magic affect a person who is transitioning? And if you're a Nightbrother but not a Zabrak, what does that mean? And how does the Force work in all of this?

Also, the unification under Talzin is pretty limited in terms of timeline, so before that there were a bunch of different Nightsister groups, and they probably had their own way of doing things. You could, theoretically, invent your own group (but then what happens to them when Talzin rather forcefully unites everyone?).

Long story short, I can't build a character on Tumblr and then use them in a book, so I'm deliberately avoiding that (you may have noticed), but this is a very, very brief intro to the things I think about when I'm starting a character build, and if you're building a character for some reason (game, fanfic, fun), then that's awesome too! None of my questions have single answers, and every possibility leads to more story generation and character development.

(It has been a while since I've thought about this era, so apologies if I've misremembered something. And this is just how I would go about character building. Other people might start somewhere else.)

[one-squash-one-end]

once again rambling about Adam Parrish

Hi! This still belongs to my big Raven Cycle analysis, click here for the masterpost.

For most of the characters I obviously read a lot into subtext and speculate about how they're absolutely not straight, but lucky for us, we do get canon queer characters!

So let this be me talking about Adam as bi representation and also throwing in (other people's) gender headcanons. As always, please tell me your thoughts in the notes <3

c) Adam Parrish

Sadly, I cannot speculate too much about Adam’s sexuality, as he is canonically the mean, witchy (and bitchy) bisexual.

There isn’t much I can say, really. Throughout the book series he displays interest in both Blue and Ronan. And also Greenmantle, but I would like all of us to ignore that because I want to believe Adam has good taste. Blue and Ronan as his love interests are essentially seen as equal. While I would say he had already had some repressed attraction for Ronan (see: him calling the swearing melodic, black-painted poetry- you normally wouldn’t feel like that for someone who just called you a motherfucker) in book one while dating Blue. Yet it becomes very much clear that he did have romantic feelings for Blue. Yes, the two of them were doomed from the start (but still pretty cute I’d say! Until things went to shit, that is), however, Blue is not treated by the narrative as some mistake before Adam figures out he’s actually gay (looking at you judgingly here, Rainbow Rowell). Neither was Ronan a quick, silly thing to see how it would feel to kiss the same gender. That is, like, very much very obvious, through the last five books. They are boyfriends, your honor.

At this point I would also like to give a shout-out to Adam Parrish and the Crying Club (which would make for a fire band name, just saying). This little group of queer people Adam collects at uni (in Call Down The Hawk) has my whole heart and I so wish we would have seen more of them, I am forever mourning their potential of silly, reoccurring side characters. What I’m trying to say though is this: The fact that Adam builds a group of queer people around himself (another one apart from the Gangsey) proves his sexuality even more, because we all know queer people flock towards each other.

Either way, canon bisexual, we love that. Moving on.

Honorary mention to the transmasc Adam headcanon that Tumblr user @barbaricpoetic compiles especially well in a post. I personally do not follow that headcanon, like of course I do not think Blue is supposed to be written as genderfluid in the books, but somehow I believe even less in trans Adam, but either way I do agree there is a lot of strong source material to support that headcanon. Check out the original post for a lot more detail, I don’t want to plagiarize all of that here either way, but here’s two especially solid hints: First of all, he does everything to appear more masculine, like working in typically male-dominated fields and dressing accordingly to that, while orientating his behavior on Ronan and Gansey, who, ironically, do not try as hard as him. Secondly, there’s physical descriptions, Adam being a lot more “elegant” and delicate than the other (Raven) boys Blue knows, with unusual features, and “blue eyes pretty enough for a girl”. Yeah, might be a coincidence, might be solid, queer truth.

This would all make so much sense, even within the books and all, there is just one, considerably big thing, that would not add up with this in canon. Adam’s rural-conservative shitbag of a father would never use the correct name and pronouns for his ftm child.

Either way, there might still be something fun going on with his gender that defies the binaries. Why do I think so? Well, Gansey says a very interesting thing. “Henry was a boy. Adam was a─ Gansey didn’t know.” I wish he would have told us what makes them different. What is it that Adam was? A man? A demiboy? A nonbinary person? A dinosaur in disguise? Please do enlighten us, Gansey. I’m assuming it’s got something to do with Adam being more mature than Henry (he definitely is), but like with Blue and the 300 Fox Way Women, it might be a gender thing, at least you can very easily lay it out to be that way.

To conclude as I will conclude every character part, I think Adam might possibly wear a crop top (might take him a while to accept masculinity is everything you want it to be and not just a certain aesthetic standard though), but absolutely not regularly and not around strangers or his parents.

[tyrantisterror]

You know how we complain about pornbots with sickass names and avatars of pretty girls following us, because it's taunting us with a hollow imitation of what we want out of life?

Well today a pornbot with a sickass name and an avatar of a pretty girl liked the pinned post I have advertising my wizard books, and that's, like... that's mean, man. For a brief moment I thought someone who hadn't seen my silly wizard books liked them and wanted to check them out, that's a mean thing to tease me with pornbots.

...

So I guess the only thing to do is to SHILL THEM WIZARD BOOKS BABY!

Wizard School Mysteries is a series of books that follows eight young (re: college student-aged) wizards attending the first ever school for magic, the Academy of Applied Arcana and Magic. While there, they encounter various perilous situations that lead them to unravel conspiracies of kidnapping, murder, and other malfeasance. In other words, wizards go to a school and solve mysteries. The title is very apt, no?

There are two books in the series so far, with eight planned total.

Book 1: The Meddlesome Youths shows how our eight heroes first met, and together unravel a plot by the fair folk to kidnap their peers on campus.

Book 2: Tournament of Death sees our heroes embroiled in the Ultimate Wizard Battle, a competitive tournament of for-fun wizard duels that's turned deadly thanks to acts of sabotage. Can they find the saboteur before the Tournament of Death claims one of their own?

(click on the titles above to go to their amazon order pages!)

I'm a few chapters deep into writing Book 3: Wicked Witchcraft, where the group's resident nerd (well, they're all nerds, but she's the nerdiest nerd of them all), Gretchen Pappenheimer, finds herself in the internship from Hell, while the rest of her pals have to deal with a masked murderer prowling the campus grounds. I'd like to have it out by October this year, Friday the 13th if possible for reasons that should be obvious, but we'll see how that works out. I think it's doable, but I'm not setting it in stone just year. And there are five more books to come after that!

While I'm sure you'll assume, given the premise of the series, that it has similarities with a certain... more... popular book about wizards solving mysteries in a school, I can assure you it's quite different. For one thing, it's got gay people in it, who get into gay relationships that we get to see, rather than me tweeting that they were gay the whole time fives years or so after the series wraps. And two of the main characters are trans, including the very mainest main character of the lot! It feels kinda shallow mentioning these facts, like I'm just pointing out diversity in my book for brownie points, but seriously those feel like low bars to clear in 2023 AND YET certain other wizard franchises just... haven't, because they're written by closeted fascist transphobic antisemite.

....ahem.

Anyway it's also different from Herbie Porber because it's set in a vaguely medieval fantasy land instead of the current day, and because its tones is far more Discworld than anything else. It's good! You should read it! Why, it's so good that the second book only has one review so far, because the people who read it are so awestruck at how awesome it is that all but one of them has been rendered speechless by it.

So check out Wizard School Mysteries, the fantasy book series that even pornbots love!

[mr-saavik]

Midyear Book Freakout Tag 2024

Haven't done this in a few years and no one asked for it but here we go

1) Best book:

Lots of contenders for this, but I think it has to be A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf. Fantastic writing on a great subject

2) Best sequel:

I haven't really read any traditional sequels where a story continues on from another, but any of the Sherlock Holmes books/short story collections works for this. Maybe The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes or The Hound of the Baskvilles as favorites? Idk

3) New releases you want to read

Henry Henry by Allen Bratton, but idk when I'll get to it because I'd need to get an interlibrary loan

4) Most anticipated release

I'm lowkey bad at keeping up with whats coming out BUT I am excited to read Failure to Comply by @librarycards

5) Biggest Disappointment

Probably Disability Visibility edited by Alice Wong because I had heard it was great and a good introduction to writings on disability, but ended up being a very mixed collection of writings and a lot of it just felt meh

6) Biggest Surprise

Perhaps Zong! by M. NourbeSe Philip? Not surprise in the sense that once I knew what it was I thought I wouldn't like it, but surprise in the sense I had never heard of it until I was assigned to read it in a class about literature of the Middle Passage

7) Favorite new author

Virginia Woolf. I've read Orlando before but I don't really remember it; reading A Room of One's Own made me realize I love her writing style

8) Newest fictional crush

Closest answer I can give to this is Sherlock Holmes because I do love that bitch but idk if "crush" is the right word for it or if he counts as new if I was familiar with his character from the Granada tv series

9) Newest favorite character

To not repeat saying Sherlock Holmes, I'm going to say Merricat Blackwood from We Have Always Lived in the Castle even though I've read that before, so again, it doesn't really count as new

10) A book that made you cry

None despite historically being a known crier

11) A book that made you happy

Uhhhhh I guess one of the Sherlock Holmes ones? I tend to read sad shit and reviewing what I've read so far this year there isn't really "happy" material besides that

12) Most beautiful book you've bought or received

Big fan of these two

13) What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

Well. Finish what I'm currently reading (Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion, Noor by Nnedi Okorafor, Moby Dick by Herman Melville, The Return of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle), also read Before We Were Trans by Kit Heyam because I have it out from the library, same with The White Album by Joan Didion because it is also in the massive book of nonfiction work from Didion I have out from the library, and I think Sara @colors-changing-hue & I are going to attempt to finish all of the Sherlock Holmes books by the end of the year but we've been slow on that recently so we'll see if that happens (to complete the series we'd nees to finish The Return of Sherlock Holmes and then read The Valley of Fear, His Last Bow, and The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes). Besides all of that for fun, once classes start back up I will be reading a lot of Shakespeare for my class on his early plays, some medieval romances for a class on that genre, and probably some books about Hitchcock because I'm taking a class on his films and the professor teaching it usually assigns a few whole books to read besides articles & stuff

[praetoravila]

Hi hi hi!! Don’t know if you still want some OC facts, but here’s two about each of my BTR babies!!

Ezra’s first fictional crush was Linus, Matt Damon’s character in Ocean’s Eleven, but he told everyone it was Julia Roberts’s character in Ocean’s Eleven because he didn’t really know how his family would react at that point.

Amara’s middle name, Daniela, is the same as her mother’s, which given her and her siblings’ relationship with her parents she has Complicated Feelings about.

Nicki also does not have a good relationship with her mother! Her mother, Helen, didn’t want a kid and left when Nicki was still a toddler, and she’s been so no-contact that she doesn’t even know Nicki is trans.

Kalani has been writing songs since they were ten, and still has the beat-up notebook they wrote all their first ones in.

Ezra actually has been offered the opportunity to act in a commercial with Destiny before, but he turned it down; he’s not really built for being in the spotlight or in front of a camera, and he knows that about himself.

Although Amara and James do become unexpected besties, she’s a little iffy on him originally - she originally thought he was kind of shallow and a typical Hollywood wannabe, but she did realize she was wrong.

Nicki’s dad, Patrick, is actually British! He’s from a wealthier family and moved to America shortly after he graduated university, wanting to make a new life for himself outside of his family’s influence, and he eventually wound up in Portland, where he met Nicki’s mom.

Kalani’s first self-titled album, which they release towards the end of the events of the show, features duets with both James and Lucy, as well as a feature from all of Big Time Rush.

Hope you like these, and feel free to tell me some facts about your babies too!! Hope you’re doing well!! <3 <3

hi dolly! amazing headcanons omg. the one about nicki’s mom is heartbreaking and i just want to hug her. i love all your ocs so much!! here’s a few for my ocs!

macie learns how to produce music from gustavo, and when she decides she’s had enough of singing, eventually she takes over rocque records as head music producer!

noah’s favourite book is the giver. he’s read it at least 9 times

olive cuts her hair in s3 as a form of reshaping her identity. the first time logan sees her w short hair, he’s shocked but it ends up becoming his favourite look on her

elisa and kendall are pretty good friends! she doesn’t really get hockey, but she���ll sit and watch games w him!

laela was born in maui hawaii, hence why she has a traditional hawaiian name. her mom couldn’t think of one the entire pregnancy so she asked one of her nurses for name suggestions!

macie’s favourite city she’s been to on tour is seattle. there’s just something about that city that resonates with her.

[spockandawe]

this might be a longshot but do you know any transmigration cnovels with trans characters in them? or just cnovels in general tbh transmigration is not a requirement

Oh man, this has been sitting in my inbox for a while because I really wanted to pull together some good recs for you, but it is.... a lot harder than I expected to differentiate between some of these books. The broadest catchall tag on novelupdates looks to be "gender bender," which isn't the most clear starting point. If I haven't read something, the tags on novelupdates aren't always clear on whether any given story is 1) crossdressing, 2) body change that will be undone eventually, or 3) body change that the character is at peace with. And if there are any characters who are trans and aware that they're trans, I could not find a relevant tag, and the book descriptions were not helpful. There are tags for "male to female" and "female to male," but like before, it's really unclear which of the above categories the book will fall into. I saw a tag for "genderless protagonist," but skimming the tagged books, it was hard for me to tell if that meant anything like what I would hope for.

That being said, I hate to leave this with a complete shrug. Let me start with some low-hanging fruit! Terribly sorry if you've heard of these examples before, they're not very obscure. From books I've read or bound: TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing, the supporting character Shi Qingxuan has some gender things going on. There isn't a definitive answer as to what exactly that entails, I've seen a variety of headcanons including that SQX is nonbinary or a trans woman. I default to they/them myself, but I've seen some LOVELY thoughts about this. Then, in JWQS/Clear And Muddy Loss Of Love, the protagonist is born female, but is living life is a man, including irreversible body modification in order to pass more convincingly (for revenge reasons). The story uses she/her in the narration, but it could easily be something more complex if you wanted to read it through that lens. And then in 2ha/The Husky And His White Cat Shizun, there's a supporting character doing a similar born-female-living-as-a-man-with-body-mods thing. I can't say that it's a story about trans experiences, but it is definitely easy to read with an eye to gender.

And then, these are entirely unvetted, but here are some novels from my attempted NU search that looked like they maybe had potential. I think all of these seem to be 'I got dumped into this body that doesn't match my nominal gender, but it's cool', rather than trans stories, so please don't trust my recs too hard, but I can't believe how hard it was to search for this!!

Demon Sword Maiden

Reborn As My Love Rival's Wife

Fugui Ronghua (short, but complete)

Even If I'm Reborn As A Cute Dragon Girl, I Will Still Make A Harem

Dominion's End

Reborn, I Became A Male God (only three chapters translated, but MTL is out there)

it is shockingly hard to tell what I'm getting into from these tags and summaries, jesus. I hope those recs aren't all completely off the mark, but it's really hard to gauge their content without reading them myself. If other people have recs, I'd love to hear them in the comments! I feel like there must be authors who have tackled some of these themes, and I'm disappointed that the tagging conventions make it hard to identify who those authors are :T

[awoo-ga]

Mademoiselle de Maupin

Théophile Gautier

classic French novel published in 1835, this book follows our protagonist d'Albert as he tries to find the woman of his dreams, and instead falls in love with a man. This man, Theodore, is secretly a woman crossdressing as a man.

The age of this book needs to be considered when reading, as the ideals of the time have become outdated, and they did not have the language that we have now surrounding queer topics. Obviously it's not good rep to this days standards, but for the time it was boundary pushing for being an outwardly gay book. Unsurprisingly, translations of this novel were banned and illegal in England when it was published.

A lot of the queerness of the characters are left unlabelled and open to interpretation; it's not clearly said that Theodore is a trans man, a cis woman, or any other identity - they are simply either a man or a woman, depending on the scene. Theodore goes by both he/him and she/her pronouns, sometimes within the same sentence, for simplicity I will use they/them.

Similarly, d'Albert spends some pages lamenting on wishing he were born a woman. While this is never explored in the text, it was I interesting to read about.

The story is simple:

d'Albert is dating a woman, Rosette, but is not happy in his relationship as she does not meet his standards for an ideal woman.

Rosette is in love with Theodore, but has settled with d'Albert as a rebound of sorts.

And finally, Theodore ran away from their family to live as a man, wooed Rosette, realised they couldn't take the relationship further because they would betray their lack of pebis, and then ran away from Rosette.

The story climaxes when they all stay together at a chateaux, d'Albert realises Theodore matches his ideal standards, and has to grapple with loving a man. Rosette pines for Theodore, who still can't shag due to lack of weeny. Theodore then reveals himself as a woman, shags d'Albert, (heavily heavily implied) shags Rosette, then once again runs away from it all.

I did not expect this book to be so queer, discussing trans and gay thoughts, and having a bisexual protagonist who admits to preferring women over men.

For a short story it sure is wordy, with paragraphs just describing scenery and locations. It's all flowery and descriptive language, very poetic, but it was a bit much for me (especially when reading before bed when the descriptions sent me to sleep)

also. gautier had a thing for feet.

Good book, I'd recommend to anyone who like classic literature and queer stories.

I rate it 3 👣 out of 5

[reelvibes91]

Harry Potter TV Series Thoughts

Harry Potter is one of my favorite all time book series. They still line my shelf to this day. The movies that came out were great representations of those books for many reasons. Now Max, a revamp of HBO Max has decided to go forward with a new 10 year commitment to a Harry Potter TV series.

For many reasons, this has me skeptical. The movies eliminated most of what was filler and streamlined the story so that many people who may not have read the books could easily follow the story. That and the cast was damn near perfect. The trio will never be topped. Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson are these characters for so many reasons. There have been some fairly dumb arguments online about why this series is necessary. Emma Watson ended up too pretty being one of them. That is not even a valid conversation, and it seems unfair to Emma over the years of growing up on screen. That is the pressure that led to the trio debating on leaving the series altogether.

I can't even imagine the pressure this generation will put on the new cast, especially with Twitter as a new way to fly off the handle when we don't like something. Basically, all that can be added back in is filler and scenes that don't really progress the plot forward at all. If they do all of the filler, there will be about 3 to 4 episodes that deal with each books main plot, and the rest of the episodes will be filled with the meaningless stuff that happens in between.

People claiming this will allow for better character development over the course of 10 years are fooling themselves. The trio had plenty of growth throughout the films, and you don't need 70 hours of television to get a good pace with solid characterization. The stuff that was left on the cutting room floor was done so for a reason.

The biggest issue this series is bringing to the table is giving JK Rowling another 10 years of relevancy and a platform to speak. She absolutely unequivocally does not deserve this after the comments she has made about trans people. She is problematic, and those who are turning a blind eye no longer have the right to then call out other problematic people. If you are choosing to watch the Harry Potter series knowing she is involved, you can no longer throw shade and use problematic stars as a reason to avoid other franchises. Don't twist this. You are free to watch Harry Potter. Just stop throwing shade at others for watching whatever they want to as well.

There are a lot of issues I foresee with this series. The film's casting department was phenomenal, and it is doubtful they can do such a great job again. Some of these actors have passed away now, and their roles in those films are truly held in high regard. I, for one, can't see anyone else as Severus Snape other than Alan Rickman. It does not work for me. 

Sometimes, in Hollywood and in business, you need to realize when Greed has just taken over. This is one of those instances. Harry Potter is a rich IP filled with untapped potential for original stories. Choosing to reboot the 7 books we have already seen done before seems like a choice based on pure financial greed, and I can't be convinced otherwise.

[menzoberranzans]

2, 13, 14, 29 :3

HI BABY THANK YOU FOR ASKIFN ABOUT MY BOY

2. What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

PREFACING THIS ANSWER BY SAYING HE IS A GUY it was just like. a mulan type deal at first. i am not being transphobic he was crazy. anyway

typical drow noble family relationship :) no tbh tho i don’t know exactly house xorlarrin handles Child Raising bc they’re kind of weird anyway and i haven’t read as much abt them as i’d like so far, so i’m just creating my own lore for it and if i’m wrong No i’m not. :)

anyway elkrysn was born as the 7th of 7 daughters to the matron mother of house xorlarrin and was like. going to just be nothing.

but then he started showing very strong magical promise even moreso than his siblings and so of course. his sisters Hated him. because why should the ugly youngest be the strongest? if they took him out he wouldn’t be a threat to family rank. he spent the first 20 or so years of his life being tormented by his 6 older sisters, around 19 “transitioning” in a play to go to sorcere instead of arach tinileth, and also to rise significantly in station.

a man isn’t as good as a woman but a firstborn son gets plenty of benefits that a seventh daughter likely wouldn’t have. his mother honestly thought it was very clever despite his “debasing” himself by acting like a man. and it Was clever, because at that point his sisters stopped seeing him as so much of a threat, since he wasn’t after Their status and wasn’t after the title of high priestess, and so despite their hatred of him they did start to treat him a Little differently. not that they ever got Nicer, but it Was a different type of torment that felt marginally less dangerous.

he does end up quite close with his eldest sister for a while before the house leaves for gauntlgrym, which is why the emperor picked her form to use because she was the only person in all of faerun that elkrysn would trust at the time.

his relationship with his extended family tho was Extremely tenuous because he Was the headboy and direct son of the matron mother but the way he got there was very crafty and unconventional so he was obviously clever and desperate enough for power that he Would do anything to get it, including losing his privilege as a woman in menzoberranzan.

all this to say that his family didn’t have any love for him whatsoever but the matron mother did respect his unconventional methods bc that’s what xorlarrin is all about. his youngest sisters though Did plan several unsuccessful assassinations against him because they were unhappy that he was able to raise in station before them despite being youngest.

AT SOME POINT HE BECOMES TRANS FOR REAL dot worry about it. probably in school or smth idk when it happened is not actually relevant to his character

that got very off track. Hello

13. How does your Tav feel about the wilderness?

it’s too fucking bright and there’s too many Good things. there’s like bunnies and squirrels and at any point he could wander into a group of faeries and have to waste spell slots on killing them :/ but it Is full of interesting things that he’s never seen before that he can use in alchemy and enchanting to do things that No one back home has done. which makes it worth it to him honestly LOL

14. How does your Tav feel about the city?

it’s noisy and crowded and dirty, there’s no grand temples to lolth despite all the space they have to build them, no one moves out of his way when he approaches, and it fucking stinks. he absolutely Hates it and he has never in his life been more dedicated to lolth and her revenge on surface dwellers than he is upon entering baldurs gate

29. What advice would you give to your Tav?

read a self help book on hot to talk to people. please. negative rizz ass. you drive me insane

[nonsubstantial]

2023 book log (part 2/3)

++++July++++

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang ~ A really meta and 'internet drama heavy' thriller. It's about an author who steals the manuscript for her (dead) friend's upcoming book. I don't think I've read anything like this before, so I thought it was pretty interesting. ~ my rating: 8/10

Persepolis Rising (the expanse 7) by James S.A. Corey ~ The first in a trilogy of books that form the final story arc of the expanse series. I thought it was a decent story, but I don't care for extended fight scenes, and it felt like a lot of it was setting up for the 8th book. ~ my rating: 7/10

++++August++++

Tiamat's Wrath (the expanse 8) by James S.A. Corey ~ The second book in the Laconian trilogy. The main characters suffer so much. But they persevere. I liked this one more than the past few books. It seemed like character development was given an extra amount of consideration. ~ my rating: 8/10

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin ~ A book where anyone with too much testosterone turns into a fucking monster. Horror, gore, and trans discourse. Extreme trigger warning. ~ my rating: 8/10

Leviathan Falls (the expanse 9) by James S.A. Corey ~ The final expanse book! I had a lot of fun with this series, despite feeling like the authors could have cut 100-200 pages out of each book. Their compulsion to overexplain everything was both their greatest strength and their greatest weakness. Oddly, the side stories that bookended this book ('Auberon' and 'The Sins of our Fathers') were both highpoints in the series history, and I liked them almost more than the final book itself. The Expanse is truly a sci-fi epic. (worth mentioning that I also have a favorite quote from the expanse; it's when Amos says "Everywhere's Baltimore") ~ my rating: 7/10

The Light Fantastic (discworld 2) by Terry Pratchett ~ A direct sequel to the first Discworld book, which I read a couple years ago. It seemed to me that this book achieved pretty much everything that the first book did, but to a much greater extent. It's mostly a lot of riffing on early fantasy tropes. Fortunately, this book solidified my belief that Discworld is a series worthy of slowly making my way through. ~ my rating: 8/10

++++September++++

Equal Rites (discworld 3) by Terry Pratchett ~ At first, it seemed like an attempt to tell a more focused, character driven story in the setting of the Discworld. And yet it remained unfocused, and retread some of the same ground as the first two books. Near the end, I realized that the true purpose of the book was just to explore the ways that magic functions in the Discworld, and to make it a more believable setting. I also loved the eldritch horrors at the end. ~ my rating: 7/10

Babel by R.F. Kuang ~ I loved this author's 2023 book, Yellowface, so I knew I had to check this out eventually. The worst parts, of this alternate history thriller, are that parts of the plot feel a little contrived, and the reader is led along a very narrow path, so to speak. The plot itself is a very well researched and well reasoned dive into themes of translation, colonialism, and scholarship. The real magic of this book is in how it blends its message with its characters, who were all endearing and had stories that were both gripping and believable. I usually don't fall this hard for books that are 'all plot', but Kuang managed to pack so many good things into this one that I ended up really enjoying it. The one thing that I'm unsure of is what to rate it, because while I initially put it at a 9/10, it hasn't remained as memorable as I expected, and I'm starting to think that Yellowface had a stronger impression on me. So, I guess ~ my rating: 8/10