#before it even happens... magic

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

Hi! So this post will be going into how I've been coping with soon-to-be tragedies in my family so if you aren't able for that, please, don't bother . I really only made this post to vent.

A couple weeks ago I came across this game on Nintendo store called 'Spiritfarer', and thought ,"hey that looks cool, and there's a demo! Sure I'll try it!" And lo and behold, I loved it, so I bought the actual game and played it.

Until I began interacting with the fan base, I didn't really understand the solemn message of the game, which is grief, and moving on. It is about guiding spirits to the afterlife after completing requests for them, it goes a lot deeper than that once you get into the lore side of things, but that's what it is in simple terms.

I got this game during a difficult period, a period I am still in actually. Which is, my grandmother is dying of stomach cancer. As well as my Great-aunt slowly fading away after a horrible, horrible, stroke she experienced over a year ago now. Not to mention, one of my older cousins got diagnosed with cancer, again, after being clear for a few years after fighting a different cancer for over 20 years, it's back somewhere else.

So a lot has been going on for me, funeral planning, most specifically . And a stressed family and mother.

One of the characters in the game is called Alice, I'll try not to go too in-depth about her story, but she began to experience dementia before we brought her to the Everdoor (afterlife). Misremembering and simply not remembering. That's happening to my grandmother, right now, she is experiencing the first stages of Alzheimer's. It's really sad, she is saying things that people did and said that didn't happen, and it's causing problems because what she's saying is really bad, 'you can't just say they did that' kind of bad. She is withering away and I just have to see her go, I know she's happy, end of life care in a beautiful hospice, genuinely a very nice place with very nice people.

And I guess it just hasn't really properly been processed in my head that she's dying, that this is the end of her life, yet ., because when she was just in the hospital, I could say, "no its grand. She'll be out soon, in her house, she'll be grand." But she won't be. She's 93, dying of stomach cancer which has spread to her liver. And she's in so much pain.

She's also tired. For the first bit, in the hospital and hospice, she had energy, she was exhausted yes, but she could stay awake, she could talk to us and not have to shut her eyes. Now she does . She doesn't realise people have visited purely because she slept through their visits. And my grandmother, who used to stay up till 1a.m. in the morning, even when my mam and aunts and uncles were kids, now sleeps at 12. She's dying, fading away and we can't do a thing to stop it.

She isn't even on death's doorstep, she is in his house, havin a cuppa, probably complaining about her husband, my grand-da, that I never got to meet. She would never say 'gone too soon', instead she'd find a way to give out to him beyond the grave, "should've given up those fags (cigarettes) when I told him to, he'd be here and I could berate him here and not at his grave," she said once. It was quite surreal for her to say that, because his death was kind of ironic. He smoked so much, when he began to feel unusual pains, he was scared he had lung cancer and was too afraid to visit the doctor about it, didn't want a diagnosis. But if he did go to a doctor, even a week earlier, he wouldn't have died of an aortic aneurysm.

There still wouldn't have been a chance for me to meet him mind you, it's his funeral where my parents met, I wouldn't have been born without him dying.

I also have just been kind of processing everything, it sounds mean, but right now, almost everyone in my close vicinity is hoping she dies before my Junior Cert, which is only about 3 weeks away. Not for her to be gone, god forbid, but so that I have the time to be wailing over her death, and it not affect my exams. Either way, she made it to May, which is what we were all hoping for. It's a silly thing in my family, regarding my Great-aunt and Grandma die in May, there'll be, what, 7 deaths in May now? We don't doubt this'll be the month, because now my Grandmother, she doesn't have much to fight for, she's at peace with that she's dying, she's lived a long life, experienced so much, why wouldn't she be ready? At first she wasn't, no one is I don't think, but some people resign to it, being their fate, my Grandmother, my amazing Grandmother, hasn't 'resigned' to it though, she is okay with it, she's okay.

She is okay.

But I'm really not. Because this is this, including my cousin, is the 6th person on my mother's side of the family to get cancer, and possibly die in my cousin's case, in the last 4 generations. It doesn't seem like much, but it was 3 of my Great-grandparents that died from cancer, the other one stroked. I'm not sure about my father's family history, his biological family isn't his family so he doesn't have much of an idea either. But, with so much cancer in the family, and the possibility that more will arise, scares me. I'm scared I will be the 'more will arise' because I don't want to die from cancer, I've seen what it does to you, your very self, and I just wouldn't be able to stand it. Everything is making me so scared, before I've even dawned my already planned funeral clothes for the already decided and sorted funeral. I'm scared, and I'm sad.

And that's where Stella, the SpiritFarer comes in. She upon, looking into lore, is experiencing her own journey of acceptance during the game, revealing that this is her on death's row and she's dying of a terminal illness after facing many hardships. I may not be in that situation now, but that could be me, my life flashing before my eyes, tainted by my fantasy driven mind.

I had a dream, the other night, that I was her, and instead of a base game spirit I was rowing to the Everdoor, it was my Grandmother. I dreamt that she was telling me all those stories she never got to, about the Troubles, Éamonn De Valera, and how he was a shite Taoiseach, she'd tell me about how it was like to read the newspaper and hear what was going on in the North. She'd tell me about my Grandfather, and how my Mam was like when she was young, "the spitting image of you (literally, it's really creepy)". She'd tell me jokes and rant about her stupid, but ultimately wonderful husband, who she'd spend everyday with just the same. She'd give me advice on cooking, sewing, everything, encourage me to learn new skills and become a plumber and "fix the bleedin' house before I was dying!". And all of a sudden, we were at the Everdoor, I'd help her stand up, with her beautiful cane, and I say goodbye.

It was a vivid dream, and I can tell it was my subconscious guilt tripping me, rightfully, about how I never spent enough time with her, I never listened to her stories, had her teach me something, play the piano in her living room like all my cousins could do, how I couldn't grow up fast enough to show her that she could be proud of me.

I know I'm young, kids are stupid and most kids reach adulthood before their grandparents die, and learn to appreciate them., but mine didn't, she's the last one and she's 93 and dying as I write this. Everyone is always so shocked to hear that a 15 year old has a 93 year old Grandmother, 40 year old cousins, uncles twice that and aunts close. But that just was my life, and I didn't get the privilege my older cousins had to live with my Grandmother, or to buy a house and show photos to her, bring my kid over or whatever, I won't get the chance to do that before she dies. Even now, I can't just visit, and if I were to, she wouldn't know, she's asleep right now I bet you.

So yeah, tragedy is becoming a big thing in my family at the moment and I am procrastinating on actually figuring that out in my head, because thinking too deep causes a lot of tears and I'm dehydrated enough as is. It's horrible because my literal Junior Cert is only like 3 weeks away and all this stress isn't helping and I just can't bring myself to study so I'm just gonna be a failure, I won't even be able to prove myself to her when she dies at this rate.

Moral of the story, love your Grandparents, talk to them and learn from them because you have the privilege others don't have at all.

[cosmicdreamgrl]

you gave me the best of me, so you'll give you the best of you 🩵 [ cr: namuspromised ]

[spookberry]

the first time I drew these two(when I was 12) they were functionally the Color Guardian's version of Jessie and James,,,

[lotus-pear]

rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

[fatedroses]

More than just the Demon.

[dapper-lil-arts]

I just wrote a smut fanfic About Sunset Shimmer x Twilight Sparkle, per the request of my girlfriend lmao. And yes. It has SEX. 👍🔥

[mollysunder]

The one thing I don't understand about the theory where Piltover and Zaun are teaming up to fight Noxus in the end, is why are Vi and Ekko flying towards Jinx's supposed airship if they're on the same team? Why does Vi NEED to confront Jinx in the middle of a warzone?

We see Ekko in garb that looks like he's on Jinx's side, but we mostly see him with the Firelights in those scenes, and they not decorated in Jinx's colors. Even minor background characters that are on Jinx/Sevika's side have a pink X on the right side of their chest. The Firelights are completely free of any graffiti or markers that would identify them with Jinx, and Vi is in an enforcer uniform. We don't see any other Zaunites in the crowd, but for some reason Vi and Ekko are centering their concentration on Jinx.

I think what's happening is that Ambessa's forces are fighting against Piltover's enforcers, but Jinx isn't helping, she's taking advantage of the chaos. Jinx is probably in Piltover to do something big that Piltover can't defend against since they're preoccupied with Noxus. Jinx will probably think the fight between Noxus and Piltover is the best opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. Vi and Ekko will probably object, they'll say her plan goes too far, and it'll get people killed. The whole scenario will probably be a more extreme mirror to whatever the Silco flashback will reveal about what went down on the Day of Ash and why Vander tried to kill Silco, except this time with magic.

[multiiocular-mushroom]

francis madoka magica crozier

(the witch designs are here and also posted separately with some lore under the tag 'the soul gem passage')

[mishy-mashy]

Got my hands on a Ultra Analysis BNHA book from a library

Some points I liked (I focused more on 1B since they don't get a lot of attention)

1B once had a Tetsutetsu BBQ. They heated him up and cooked food on him. He proceeds to ruin it when he declares his sweat is the salt to their food

Yui is canonically the prettiest first-year

Mineta has no sex appeal at all, but he thinks being a hero will make him lucky

Class B does respect Monoma. He's sharp-minded, witty, and has a way with words

Monoma sometimes wanders into 1A's dorm just to throw down a mean speech, and heads back to 1B

Juzo probably isn't helping Monoma's confrontations with 1A, since he just always asks him why he can't say it to their faces whenever Monoma complains about them

Shiozaki tries to be polite even in a fight

Pony hosts anime parties, so 1B knows a lot about anime. Vice-versa, they teach her Japanese, and everything nasty is Monoma's fault

Tokage was a gyaru

Tsuburuaba, Kaibara, and Kuroiro get worked up whenever they talk about girls

Manga likes Kenranzaki

Awase's family runs a small factory. He also restrains Monoma whenever Kendo isn't available

1B likes hearing Rin say "Aiyah", so he does it for them

Kamakiri is obsessed with cutting into things

Class B's play was really successful

Tamaki is scared of Kirishima's energy

1C was planning a send-off party for Shinsou for his upcoming hero transfer. They didn't doubt he would make it, ever since the Sports Festival

Shishikura (meatball Shiketsu boy) might've chosen Shiketsu because he likes the uniform's hat

Nakagame and Yo are dating

Tsuyu's family gets to spend a lot of time together now, since their parents' busy jobs have calmed down

Tsubasa (devil wing kid in Midoriya's memories) suspiciously lost touch with Midoriya and Bakugo in middle school (his Wiki page confirms Garaki - his grandfather - turned him into a Nomu)

Torino likes goofy gags. This rubs off on All Might (ex. when Midoriya thought he died when Torino fell with ketchup. People don't know whether to laugh or be concerned)

Nighteye has yellow streaks in his hair as a homage to All Might

Nezu likes worming into tight, dark places, so he likes Aizawa's scarf. They went into detail, describing why Nezu likes it, such as material to crawling in, etc.

Recovery Girl has to travel around Japan regularly to help people with her Quirk (as in, she uses her Quirk to help them. Healing Quirks are SO rare)

Hojo, Tabe, and Sestuno are kept in the same jail, so at least they're not separated

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

There’s no way Jayce came out of the fucking Infection Dimension perfectly healthy except for his leg (and his mental health)

He had an open wound on his back before he even went in!! and then the one we saw on his leg! (which was broken in fucking half!!) like did y’all see how thick the fog was?? He was breathing that shit in for months!! That man was probably dying!!!

[keets-writing-corner]

Alright everyone, buckle up and sit down. I was talking with @nerdasaurus1200 on another post and came to the conclusion that I need to write Sera meta so let's freaking GO

I'm mostly gonna be talking about Sera, what we know about her so far, and what makes her tick (aka her fears) and why she's not a bitch/asshole the way apparently so many people like to portray her? (I've mostly just been hanging out with fan art and headcanons specifically about Lucifer in the fandom so I haven't seen these specifically, but someone approached me about how they liked m portrayal of Sera in my fic which was NOT that of an asshole and apparently multiple people are portraying her that way? Idk I haven't seen any but uh yeah let's talk SERA)

Characters are always the most important part of a story, and even if they're not a main character and/or the audience nor the writer know what they want/need, the writer at the very least needs to know How and Why a character makes decisions, instead of just "oh they're an asshole" So let's do that for Sera. Why is she making the decisions she's making? LETS GO

Let's start off by talking about what we know about Sera

She's at least as old as Lucifer, she was there for the creation of earth given the appearance of her silhouette in Charlie's exposition

We know that the exterminations might have been Adam's idea, but it was HER decision to approve them

We know that she's FOR SURE older than Emily

and the other thing we know for sure about her is that she is the High Seraphim (we don't know WHAT that means exactly but clearly it is a position of authority and rule)

So those are the things we know for sure:

She's about as old as Lucifer

She approved the exterminations

She's older than Emily

and she's the high Seraphim

Now I'm going to circle back to all of these points but I want to start off with her relationship with Lucifer

Unfortunately for all of us, the only thing we can say about their relationship with 100% certainty is that they for SURE know each other, either because they were essentially "coworkers" in the past, or because they're both the respective rulers of their realms (even if Sera has some people above her) and they're implied to interact with each other

(at the very least you cannot convince me otherwise that they don't interact. Someone had to have talked to Lucifer about the exterminations for him to have had "approved it" and we know it wasn't Adam because Lucifer hadn't seen Adam since he fell to hell until the finale, and we know that Sera was not only the one to approve said exterminations but also decreed that no one else in heaven know about them. She clearly must have spoken to Lucifer about it because there's nobody else left who had the authority to do that AND knew about them)

So at the very least in present day Sera and Lucifer have some sort of professional relationship as leaders. And I'll come back to this because it's implied that this relationship isn't a very good one, but first let's talk about the past

full stop, we have NO IDEA what sort of relationship Sera and Lucifer might have had when he was still in heaven. But here's the thing, even if their relation was strictly "yeah I know them cuz I work with them, but that's as far as it goes" Lucifer's fall STILL would have been horrifying for Sera to witness. He was the same rank as her, probably no other angel except the elders likely ranked higher, and they still banished him. Charlie's storybook leaves it at that, but Lucifer implies it was violent in his debut episode.

trauma is a funny thing when you think about it, you're just as likely to develop trauma by watching someone else be assaulted as you are for you to have been assaulted. And Sera was there, she likely saw the whole thing happen. So not only did Sera watch how brutal the elders could be to someone who questioned and disobeyed the order, but the fact that it was done to LUCIFER someone of equal rank and authority as her means that absolutely NOBODY is safe from the elders

and this is without taking into account that on some level, she and Lucifer had to have been close. There are no other seraphim in heaven besides her, the elders (who appear to be rather hands off and uninvolved) and Emily. Emily was likely created as a replacement for Lucifer, so at the time, it was basically just her and Lucifer as the only seraphim up there. They not only worked closely together, they likely had a close bond as well. Now I have my own head canon preferences as to what kind of bond, BUT let's ignore that and look at 3 options (although there are likely more, but huuu this post is gonna be long already so let's not push it yeah? )

option 1: equal peers. You are Sera and you've known Lucifer all your life. You two have "grown up" together, learned about the world and your powers together. You're comrades in arms! You know all of each other's secrets! You lean on each other for support as you lead heaven together. You work together all the time. Sure, he can be a little excitable at times but it's so much FUN right? This guy could be your bestie/brother. And you sit back and watch as the only ones with more authority than you, skewer him and banish him to hell for having questioned the order and now there's a metaphorical spear against your back at all times because you know it could have been you instead, and it could still be you if you don't behave

Option 2: Lucifer is your mentor. He's taught you everything you know. The ropes, your powers, the world. He's fantastic! You admire him greatly. He has such energy you could never hope to match. You put him on a pedestal, and in one fell swoop the only people he answers to destroy your mentor in front of you. You are now alone, without any more advice or guidance other than a warning to not step out of line as your mentor once did

Option 3: Lucifer is your apprentice. He's adorable! A little over enthusiastic but who doesn't love someone who's passionate about the things they like? He brings a wonderful energy and vibe, and... he's your responsibility. You try to reign in his wild energy only for the elders to step in and banish him because you failed him and now you know that the elders could do that to you too

So, I'll be honest, option 3 is NOT the one I'm biased towards, but if it ends up being that one, it would make Sera's behavior towards Emily extra heartbreaking. She already failed one apprentice, she will not fail another one, right?

Either way, Sera is terrified of going against the elders because of what they did to Lucifer in spite of his rank. She knows first hand how harsh they can be and because of that, she will do everything in her power to make sure nobody around her falls into the same fate. No one will ever question the elders again, and she will lie and withhold information to make sure that happens

And we're just talking about the INITIAL banishment.

Now why would Sera bring this up, unless what she was most afraid of wasn't even the initial banishment, but of the suffering she clearly knows comes afterwards? And why would she care or even know about the suffering? Well, if it's true that she and Lucifer were close, then regardless if she was spying on him or not the way we know heaven can do, she still watched a cute enthusiastic little angel go from this:

to this

all because because he suffered.

She watched him question, get banished, suffer, and change into someone she didn't recognize, in real time. And the worst part is, she's not only scared of what happened TO him, she's personally scared OF him and what he's become. He might be fallen, but he's still a powerful angel

And this segways into another bullet: she approved the exterminations, but WHY

Charlie's intro implies it was as some sort of punishment towards Lilith who was rallying the demons and they felt threatened

But clearly there's more to this

So first thing I'd like to point out, Sera doesn't look happy about this decision. She mentions as much in the song "You didn't Know" when she outright tells Emily "It was such a hard decision" and earlier in the same episode she outright tells Adam she wouldn't have approved of this if she had known it'd make things "worse"

But this is incomplete. Something doesn't make sense. Sera clearly meets with Lucifer for certain matters as previously established, and Lucifer, in spite of his initial trauma "NO CHARLIE DO NOT TALK TO HEAVEN" knee jerk reaction, never doubted that he COULD in fact get her a meeting with heaven. He outright tells her at the end of episode 5

He never says, "I'll try to get the meeting". He says straight up, I can do this. There isn't a doubt in his mind that he can get this meeting. He knows Sera will meet with him/take his call (idk how he contacts heaven) and will agree to the meeting. We don't really know WHY Sera agreed to this if she thought it was a bad idea and never really intended to entertain the idea to begin with, going as far as to tell Adam to rig the results and calling Charlie misguided. So what's up? Why on earth would she agree to it? Well...?

Sera is scared of the demons of hell, hence why she approved the exterminations, but she's even MORE scared of Lucifer and folded to his request. (or idk maybe there's more going on here and she feels guilt about what happened to him so she folds to him sometimes idk, but for the sake of this meta, SHE'S SCARED OF HIM)

but here's what's kinda weird. Charlie's storybook only mentions LILITH'S involvement with the demons rising in power, not Lucifer. Sera later claims that they were uprising to Emily as the reason she's scared of them and that it's her job to keep everyone safe.

Clearly SOMETHING happened between the creation of Hell and the exterminations being approved that involved BOTH the sinners AND Lucifer that made Sera scared of both. Sera doesn't seem the type to fear without reason. She fears questioning the order because that incurs the elders' wrath. She fears the elders because of what they did to Lucifer. She fears angels falling because she saw how much it hurt Lucifer. Sera is not the type to fear randomly. Clearly there is some sort of thing that happened that made it clear to Sera that Lucifer is to be feared enough to fold to his requests and that the sinners are dangerous enough that it justifies genocide.

And now to bring back the whole Sera is older than Emily. Emily didn't know this otherwise Sera wouldn't have needed to tell her. AKA Emily wasn't even around when said conflict happened. Sera not only had to go through something that clearly traumatized her to the point where she agreed that genocide was a reasonable response, but she had to go through that ALONE. Trauma is hard enough to deal with, but to have to navigate it alone really gives it some steroids it has no business in having

This genuinely makes me wonder how long the exterminations have to have been taking place. It probably took a WHILE for hell to gather up enough numbers that they started making buildings by the look of Charlie's storybook, AND THEN did something against heaven, so this was not happening from day one of hell, far from it. And this also makes me wonder how old exactly is Emily? She strikes me as extremely young

season 2 come out please, I'm working from CRUMBS here, there is so much we don't know

But yeah, all of this to say, Sera isn't just some alpha bitch who's prejudiced against demons (not to say there isn't bias there, there ABSOLUTELY is, ugh) but at her core, she's a leader who underwent a lot of trauma and she's full of fear and she makes decisions, rational, moral or not, based off of that fear. And yeah unfortunately, fear, especially trauma based fear, messes with us in ways we never would expect

a kind man may suddenly resort to violence. The confident argumentative person, may instead end up frozen. Someone who thought they valued their family all their life instead runs away. We may regret what we do in moments in fear, we might even logically know that we're making bad decisions, or decisions that go against our morals. Sera CLEARLY hates that she made the decision to approve extermination, but she holds onto it steadfast because it alleviates the fear

Funnily enough, I don't particularly LIKE Sera. I dislike her microaggressions towards Charlie and her attempts to sabotage her efforts at the meeting by calling upon Adam. But as a writer, looking at the clues I got to say she's a very interesting character to me. She seems like a reasonable authority figure, but she's so full of trauma that she's letting her fear make all of her decisions for her

[engagemythrusters]

astarion and gale when convinced not to ascend: reasonably cowed

lae'zel and shadowheart when convinced not to ascend: instantaneously and drastically switches sides

[froggie-at-home]

alabaster can hide food with his magic and carry it around in his cards. it's way better than any fridge, because food is always hot and fresh like it was just cooked. he always has some on him so he doesn't have to worry about getting starved, like he how did before he joined TA.

will was sick and malnourished when he got kicked out of CHB. he was the only medic with good enough training and who could heal at camp since manhattan happened, so he was always overworking himself. his younger siblings weren't great at healing and apollo wasn't responding to them, so he was the only healer that about twenty kids a day would visit. chiron wasn't always here to help either.

so when al found will he was more than happy to share his food. after traveling and staying together at keeseville for months will recovered back to perfect health and was happier than ever, not having to use his powers every minute a day to save another kid who got their head open falling off the lava wall.

bonus: will knows how to cook thanks to lee (who grew up looking after his little cousins and his sick grandma), so alabaster saves up fresh fruit, vegetables and sometimes meat so will can get something ready for them. it's like a coping mechanism to him, something to get his hands busy with when he gets that itch, when his hands get a little too hot.

(al tried to help him cook, but he almost burnt down the kitchen while kneading the dough. even claymore was disappointed.)

[eerna]

every few months I am legally required to go on an unhinged Noragami blogging binge just to remind you all of how deep my connection to this stupid manga runs

[rivilu]

I do think this game loses a lot by not having any real origins/2 style abominations.

Both in terms of contrast with what Lucanis/spite have going on but also all the undead as well. A failed Zara experiment shouldn't be a random undead in a cavern shouldn't be an undead in the necropolis. Am I making sense?

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

On the subject of gotham county line and batman noel and so on and so forth it’s pretty frustrating (from a watsonian pov) that anytime Bruce hallucinates Jason being loving/ caring/helpful/compassionate towards him it’s always as robin and never as his current self