#apologizing earnestly to Tim even when it’s not his fault even

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the funniest parts about the whole “Leo not giving Draxum any grace” idea is that Draxum is one of the ONLY notable older men in the show that Leo isn’t willing to give a proper second chance to OR really hear out in the first place.

No seriously it’s genuinely a Thing.

[sunflowersandink]

So basically, that entire conversation was pointless then?

Context

If what you’re looking for from the fic is a perfect resolution to Tim and Jason’s relationship, and for Jason to instantly transform into a mentally healthy and perfectly supportive older brother figure, yes, it’s pointless. You are not going to get that.

There’s a reason why the fic has the tags “Jason Todd Being Jason Todd,” and “Bittersweet”. Jason is, and I say this with quite a bit of love for his character, an asshole. He’s about 15 different layers of trauma and poor coping mechanisms in a leather jacket.

He is, in fact, one of Tim’s abusers, a fact he’s finally starting to grapple with.

The point of the conversation was to get some amount of resolution for the both of them. They’re both abuse victims who are never going to get any true remorse from their parents, but Tim deserved an apology for the abuse he suffered, and Jason deserved to give an apology.

But Tim is still, on some level, angry about what Jason did to him, because that kind of hurt doesn’t evaporate just because you got an apology (there’s a reason why Jason explicitly tells him he doesn’t have to accept his apology just because’s it’s offered - Tim has learned to accept scraps of good treatment rather than allowing himself to acknowledge his own anger, and that kind of repression isn’t good for you).

And Jason still, on some level, feels like Bruce has abandoned and replaced him. While he can recognize at this stage that that’s not Tim’s fault, it is still painful for him to watch Tim receiving the home and family he feels like he can never really return to.

Which is why he says the line you took issue with - that’s his expression of that hurt. Which Tim recognizes, and I think Jason knew he would recognize. It’s framed in context as a prickly but mild jab, because they both understand the subtext.

Pretty critically, the context is also that they just got done with a very solemn and sincere conversation about the abuse they’ve both suffered - a sarcastic “your life is a series of horrors”, coming from someone who’s just earnestly opened up about how they’ve been through the same trauma doesn’t exactly have the same bite to it that it would if, say, Dick tried to make that joke.

Both of these characters start and end the story traumatized. Tim is still evasive and manipulative when it comes to disguising his hurt, and Jason is still an asshole who’s going to say something prickly before he says anything gentle. Tim, ultimately, might not be able to fully forgive Jason, and Jason might not be able to return home. But they have given each other some amount of peace, and the tension between them is something they can actually live with now.

The point is that people can choose to do better, and that’s worth it, even if it’s not perfect.

The same way I personally chose to give you an actual answer, rather than just my first response, which was:

correct, I wrote a 2000 word conversation for no reason <333 hope that helps