#before anyone says I used the wrong thing for love

[pacofprunes]

DARK / TOXIC SQUID GAME REACTIONS TO YOU TRYING TO LEAVE THEM

CONTAINS — namgyu x reader, thanos x reader, myungi x reader, inho x reader, sangwoo x reader, saebyeok x reader

WARNINGS — toxic relationship, domestic violence, baby trapping, manipulation, guilt trip, prepare yourself for namgyus that’s the worst probably, mentions of suicide (thanos)

masterlist

THANOS / PLAYER 230 / CHOI-SUBONG — manipulates you / would let you leave and crawl back to him

doesn’t take it well at all. he’s going to laugh and think you’re joking, but after realizing that you’re not, he’s quickly going to scream at you. telling you that you’ll never find anybody better than him.

“do you really think anybody else will want you? if you leave me you’ll never find anyone else. you’ll never find anybody better!”

he’ll start breaking shit. punching walls, shit, he’ll even break your own phone if it’s in arms reach. if you still insist on leaving he’ll say he’s gonna overdose. he tells you that he’ll kill himself if you step out that door while pressing a blade up to his arm. if all else fails, he’ll totally act like he didn’t just beg you to stay and scream at you to go then and not to come running back.

“fine bitch, go ahead and leave! but don’t come running back to me for nothin’.”

in reality, he’s definitely stalking your socials, making fake accounts you haven’t blocked him on, stalking your friends accounts to see other photos of you, visiting the club every night (not that he didn’t already do that) to try to see if you’d show up. after about a month or so of doing this and going out and fucking other girls to get over you, he can’t do it anymore. he’ll send you some fake heartfelt text that he probably used ai to make and call you while making himself sound like he was crying, trying to make you feel bad and convince you that he’s changed and that he can be a better boyfriend. if you fall for it, you’re doomed. the relationships only going to be a million times worse than before. instead of knocking glass over and breaking shit, he might slap you. in public, he might grip your wrist ten times tighter, scared you’ll run away. when he finally lets go, his fingers will be embedded in your skin. he might even guilt trip you into getting a matching tattoo with him. “if you really loved me and forgave me then you would.”

if you really don’t go back to him though, no matter how many times you block him, you’ll get a new video sent to your phone from some unknown number of him fucking a new girl. he sent you the videos in hopes of making you jealous or something. he’s not going to stop for a long time. if you don’t go back to him, he’s going to harass you for the rest of your life. and if you do go back? you’re in for a world of hell.

NAMGYU / PLAYER 124 — would threaten you, would actually harm you

“you’re one funny bitch. you know how much shit i got on you?”

he finds it admirable, honestly. but still, fucking hilarious, that you, you, think you can leave him. what? when did you grow some balls? yeah, no. you just hurt his ego and that’s about the stupidest thing you could ever do to him. he’s not very empty with his threats. if he says he’s leaving? he’ll leave. (for like a week…) if he says he’s gonna hit you? you’re gonna be bruised for a while. if he says he’s gonna kill you? well, you haven’t gotten to that point yet. but keep this up and you sure will.

he keeps every nude and threatens to release it. sure you’re his and all, but that doesn’t stop him. so what if some other guy sees your body? he could care less. now if another guy touches you? let’s not think about what would happen. threatens to send the pictures to your family and threatens to send every sex tape of you two that he filmed behind your back.

“what the fuck is wrong with you namgyu? when the fuck did you film that?”

don’t raise your voice at him. once he hits you and you fall to the ground, he’ll keep kicking at you with his foot over and over until he thinks you’ve had enough. don’t speak up to him, don’t speak against him, and don’t piss him off. just sit there and be pretty, okay? he’s going to be bolder now. next time you two have sex he’s just going to shove the camera in your face. he’s going to manipulate and force you to take nudes for him since you don’t want to anymore after he threatened to send them out. sometimes he’ll force you to strip and then he’ll just take the pictures himself. all in all, sometimes he might just say no and leave it at that. but if you keep pushing, he’s going to threaten you. and if you still keep pushing, he’s going to go through with those threats. you really are just some whore to him, don’t think he’s above killing you.

MYUNGI / PLAYER 333 / MG COIN ★— would let you leave and crawl back to him (except he’s the one who crawls back), babytrapping

“really? fine, if that’s what you want then leave.”

he acts like he doesn’t care because he thinks his annoyance will make you turn right back around to him. he acts like he doesn’t care because he’s trying to not get so bent out of shape about it and move on quickly. but when he hears your footsteps disappear and the door shut, he immediately balls up his fists. you seriously left? he didn’t expect that, but whatever. he doesn’t need you.

he tries to move on but after barely even a week, he can’t do it. he contacts you, but when you block him, he makes more and more numbers. he thought you’d be running back to him, not the opposite. he sends you pictures of you two together in hopes you’d change your mind, but when you just keep blocking him, he’s knocking on your door demanding you open it up. he tries being nice but when you don’t open it, he starts banging on the door. really? you’d been together for months and you’d already gotten over him? no. no no no. you don’t get to just move on! what the hells wrong with you? when you still don’t open the door, he leaves and goes back to his place and sits on his bed while he ponders his next move. he decides for now just to stalk your page and harass you from more and more numbers. he’s not going to stop until you at least respond. oh, you’re gonna get a restraining order? you’re funny. you think that’ll stop him? don’t go back to him. if for some reason you give in, the next time that you two have sex, he’s going to make sure that you can’t leave. he’s sure that you’ll look so pretty with your stomach swelled up.

INHO / YOUNGIL / PLAYER 001 — straight up says no / baby traps / makes you feel like you’re going crazy

straight up, no. you want to leave? no. he doesn’t even care for an explanation on why, you’re not leaving. completely ignores your words and changes the whole topic. everytime you try to say you’re leaving he just completely overrides you with something different.

“inho, i’m serious. i’m leaving you! i’m packing my shit right now and i’m not coming back, i swear to you.”

“what did you want for dinner again? i have to go back out to get some groceries so there’s not too much…”

maybe it’s on purpose, maybe it’s not. but it makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. then he will deliberately go out of his way to make it seem like you’re crazy.

“i’m leaving because of what you’ve been doing behind my back, inho. it’s fucked up and you’re insane.”

“baby, you could follow me around tomorrow. i’ve got no idea what you mean.”

and he says it all with that stupid small polite smile that he gives everyone. you just want to strangle him. if somehow he can get you in bed with him after you just got so pissed, he’ll be more passionate than ever. he’ll treat you nice, focus on your pleasure before his and then quickly when you’re blissed out, he’ll pull out of you, slip the condom off and slide right back in. you don’t notice at all, but he makes sure to tell you like the cocky fuck he is. but he does it while he’s thrusting and when you can tell he’s about to cum. poor you, it’s too late to stop him :(.

“i’m about to fuck a baby in you — agh, i — i took the condom off. gonna have a beautiful—fuck—fucking baby with you.”

how could you leave now? do you have enough money to take care of a child without him? and would you really deprive your child of their father? you’ll get an abortion? he’ll find a way to keep you locked up in your house. you’re still going to leave? he’s going to guilt trip you to the max. and if that still fails? once again, he’s just going to find a way to keep you locked up in your house. he’ll figure it out as you go on, but for now, have your happy little family with him.

KANG SAE-BYEOK — straight up says no

she’s not going to entertain you at all. she might not even say no, opting to just stay silent instead. if you get in her face about it because she’s ignoring you, she’s just going to push you away. if you keep nagging her about it, she’s going to slap you. if you decide not to drop it, she’ll drag you by your hair and lock you in a room. are you stupid? don’t start this shit first thing in the morning.

“saebyeok, this isn’t working. we should go our separate ways.”

“no. did you hit your head or something?”

you should just drop it and move on with your day. nothing you say is going to convince her and if you piss her off too much, like said before, she’s just going to lock you away until you stop sounding ‘crazy’. she’s very cold, but she’s generally pretty nice to you still though. she’s a good girlfriend to you, just a little possessive, but it’s never gotten out of control. you just didn’t think the relationship was working and that it just wasn’t the right time. all in all, if you don’t push to much, you won’t see the shitty side of her that she never shows you. however, if you keep pushing the idea, she’s going to give you a real reason to break up with her.

SANGWOO — would let you leave and crawl back to him

“you want to break up? fine.”

it leaves you shocked at the sound of him not caring. it was as simple as that. you want to break up? bye then bitch! it hurt. it almost made you want to change your mind and say never mind and just stay with him, and that’s exactly what he wanted. that’s exactly why he said it like that. but that didn’t work and you just walked out the door. that’s fine though, you’d come back to him, he knows it.

he makes sure to post old photos of you two on his Instagram. not ones with your face in it, duh, but he posts the photos that you took of him where you’re behind the camera or ones where your arm or your hand is slightly showing. he knows you still stalk his socials. he’s posting these knowing that it’s going to hurt your little heart and make you crawl right back. he leaves every photo of you two up on every platform, not deleting a single thing. for a little while, he even keeps his pfp the same. you two holding hands. whenever he posts something, he always makes sure to put something in the caption that he knows you love. you liked tulips? he’ll put a tulip emoji in the caption. you loved cats? he’ll put a cat emoji in his bio. all these subtle things where you won’t know he’s doing it on purpose, but it’ll be so much of a coincidence that you’ll think this is a sign to run back to him.

he’ll tell his friends to ask about him to you whenever they talk with you.

“how are you and sangwoo doing?”

“oh he talks about you all the time.”

he tells them to act like they don’t know that the two of you have broken up. he makes sure to get in your head and eventually? you’ll come running back. if for some reason you don’t, he might have to pull some strings. spread some rumors about you so that your friends want nothing to do with you and so all that you have to run to for comfort is him.

[ur-sick-and-married]

CRAWLING BACK TO YOU • PAIGE BUECKERS

Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?

🎵: Do I Wanna Know? covered by Hozier

TW: suggestive, angst, reader is an alcoholic, usage of Y/N, mentions of nausea and vomiting

SUMMARY: you get drunk to avoid running back to your ex…but tonight it brought you right to her.

A/N: I went to a UConn game the other day!

How many times were you going to find yourself in this situation? You were strolling around the crowded house, searching for anyone that would have you. You were drunk again, like you were most nights.

You did this a lot now; get wasted and hookup with strangers. The alcohol allowed you to loosen up, finally find some peace, and the hookups kept you feeling useful and pleasured.

The two of those things also kept you from groveling at the knees of UConn’s best female guard.

You and Paige had been in a serious relationship. You loved that woman. She was the best thing that ever happened to you.

But you’d fucked up. Your love for booze had scared her off. She got sick of attending parties every weekend, sick of having to take away the bottle, sick of dragging you from parties, sick of pushing you off at home when your drunk self tried to start something, sick of nursing your nasty hangovers. She had told you to chill, promised you movie nights and dates instead of parties.

You never listened, so eventually she sat you down and, with a lot of difficulty, ended things. It had become too much for her. She needed to focus on school and basketball. It was her last year in college, after all. She wanted to make it count.

Without Paige, your need for alcohol only grew, which is how you found yourself in the middle of a frat party. Things had been usual, until someone screamed and everyone started fleeing. You knew what this meant; cops. You started running, too. If the police got you, you were screwed. Chugging drink after drink was fun, until the idea of getting caught came up.

You stumbled through the woods behind the house. This was where people typically ran, but you were alone. Maybe you were going the wrong way? You could see lights up ahead, so you went towards those. If there was civilization, you could find your way home. Once you made it through the trees, you found yourself in a campus that you quickly recognized…UConn.

Well, you thought, at least you knew your way around.

You started wandering, your phone in hand, waiting until you had good enough WiFi to get an Uber.

When you first heard the sound, you thought you were imagining it. Surely it was just the sound you associated with the school.

Nope…when the small, outdoor court came into view, you realized there was someone dribbling a basketball.

That someone was Paige Bueckers.

What were the chances?! You needed to go, before she saw you. You turned around fast, and tripped over your own feet. Your body hit the grass with a small “oof” sound escaping your lips.

“Y/N?!” Paige called when she saw you.

She was at your side within a second, immediately trying to get you up.

“Hi, Paige…” You said awkwardly, trying not to slur.

“The hell are you doing here?” She asked as she pulled you to your feet easily.

“I was…in town.” You shrugged.

She was gonna say something else, when her nose wrinkled. “Jesus…you smell like beer.”

It clicked in her brain just then. You opened your mouth to lie again, but all that came out was a shaky, alcohol scented breath.

“Ar you drunk?” She asked quietly.

“Just…a little bit.” You mumbled.

“Bullshit!” She exclaimed abruptly. “You’re wasted, aren’t you?!”

“I didn’t mean to be!” You yelped.

“Sure.” She scoffed. “You accidentally took a few shots? Chugged some beer? Drank some soda that you didn’t know had vodka in it?!”

You huffed, not knowing what to say. She was always right when it came to this.

“I just need to get home…” You whispered shakily.

“Where were you?” She whispered back.

“Party.”

“Hm. It’s early for you to leave a party.”

“Cops.”

An awkward silence passed. She watched you fight intoxicated tears.

“What do you want me to do, Y/N?” She sighed.

“Could you…get me a ride?” You said. “I’ll pay you back, I swear.”

“Where are you going? Home?” She asked.

You nodded.

“What if you go out again, huh? The bar? The club?”

“I’m super tired, Paige.” You shook your head. “I’m not going out.”

“You think I’m gonna believe you?” She scoffed. “You’ve pulled that shit before.”

“Then what are you gonna do?” You said, frustrated.

She sighed again, dragging a hand down her face.

“You’ll stay with me.” She announced. “Just for tonight.”

You froze. Really? Your ex would be the one taking you home?

“Come on.” She said, hesitantly placing a hand on your shoulder. “Let’s go. It’s getting cold.”

She led you back to her apartment. You were a bit unsteady, starting to feel the negative effects of the alcohol.

“Don’t you have roommates?” You asked once you were inside her building.

“They don’t mind.” She waved that off. “Just be quiet and they won’t care.”

“We shouldn’t do this…” You said.

Usually when you got drunk, you were all over her, insisting she go home with you.

You knew better by now.

“Don’t worry about it.” Paige said softly. “I just…I can’t let you go home alone right now.”

The both of you went up to her dorm. She pulled out her keys and opened the door, inviting you in. When you struggled to slip your shoes off, feeling unsteady, she knelt down to get them off for you.

“You feeling sick?” She whispered.

“Uh…not really.” You replied, despite that fact that your head was spinning.

Paige saw right through the lie.

“Go in my room.” She told you. “I’ll be right there.”

You quietly went to her bedroom, remembering where it was, of course. You perched awkwardly on the edge of her bed, waiting.

Paige came in a few minutes later, after convincing her roommates they they wouldn’t be hearing any grotesque noises. She carried a small trash bag and a glass of water.

“Drink up.” She instructed, giving you the cup. She then placed the bag in your lap. “And if you have to puke, do it in there.”

“Thanks.” You muttered.

She knelt down in front of you, looking at you with those insanely blue eyes. “C’mon…drink.”

You took a few sips of the water. You knew she was being helpful, but the water kind of made you want to throw up.

“Just hold onto that bag.” Paige said when she noticed your facial expression.

She stood up, and walked over to her closet. After digging around for a moment, she came back with a t-shirt and comfy shorts. The shirt looked so familiar…you suddenly realized why.

You would always steal her clothes when you were a couple. She often found her hoodies in your bedroom, her sweatpants (which were actually ginormous on you because she was so tall), mixed with your laundry. You rarely hid it well. Sometimes you’d just show up at her place in her clothes.

Your favorite thing to steal was one of her March Madness shirts. It was very comfy, and a reminder of how amazing Paige and her team were. So when she gave you the shirt that drunken night? You quickly burst into tears.

“What? What’s wrong?” Paige asked worriedly.

“You…you remembered.” You sniffled.

She didn’t know what to say. She felt sort of caught. She muttered a quick “Of course I did” and took the water from you.

Her bedroom was dark, only slightly lit by the moon shining through the window, so she didn’t see much when she helped you out of your party clothes. Not like she’d never seen you naked. Once you were in the comfortable clothes, she pulled the blankets on her bed back, allowing you to slip in.

“I’m gonna stop, Paige.” You whispered, still crying as she tucked you in. “I’m gonna stop drinking.”

She sighed. She’d heard you say this before, but never so seriously.

“Good.” She said. “You’re gonna kill yourself at this point.”

“I know…” You whimpered. “I don’t want to die…”

You were quick to put your head in your hands so she wouldn’t see you cry even more. She bit her lip at this. She was angry at you, for continuing to abuse alcohol, but…she hated that she was. She just wanted to comfort you. She never liked seeing you cry.

“Let’s just try to sleep, alright?” She said softly, climbing over you to lie down.

She got in the bed, keeping a safe distance. Neither of you were very comfortable. You were too tense. You hadn’t been in bed together in ages. It would’ve been nice if you weren’t so awkward.

You really tried to pull yourself together. You wiped your eyes, took deep breaths, focused on good thoughts. But your drunken tears kept coming.

Suddenly, Paige was shifting, and she was getting closer. She laid on her side, facing you. Then you felt her hand carding through your hair, gently scratching your scalp.

“What’re you doing…?” You whispered.

“When I used to do this, you’d be out cold within minutes.” She whispered back.

She kept doing the soothing motion. Your eyes were getting heavy, like she’d hoped.

“I’m really gonna stop.” You muttered.

“I know…just sleep.” She murmured.

“I miss you.” You whispered. In your half asleep, intoxicated state, you didn’t think twice about saying that.

She swallowed hard, her hand faltering for only a second. “I told you to go to sleep.”

“I just wanted you to know.” You answered.

“I know.” She repeated, smiling a little at the small amount of sass in your voice. “You don’t have to miss me, though. I’m right here.”

Exhaustion was finally getting to you, so you were falling into a deep sleep.

“I’ll be right here.” She whispered a few seconds before you fully sank into unconsciousness. “We’ll figure this out…we always do."

[iwasbored777]

I've been reading posts about GUN and I know they're going to be so bad in the fourth movie. Because not only is it possible that Rockwell, you know the openly xenophobic agent, will be the leader, but we're also going to have the Metal Sonics. When GUN sees alien threats built from the image of the alien they hate the most and can't chase, it's going to be the perfect excuse to want to capture Sonic and also Tails and Knuckles for sure. Not only that, with Amy in the movie it's going to get worse! If she really can travel through time with her chaos energy, I have no doubt that GUN will want to capture her too so they don't get this insane trump card. I dare say that a Team Heroes X GUN conflict is kind of inevitable.

Thanks for this ask cuz I feel so honoured to shame GUN for everything they've done. That previous post about Shadow wasn't enough, they did so many terrible things and I can't believe I didn't write this before your ask.

I can barely list all the worst things they did but I'll try and I'll answer to your other stuff so I hope you're ready and I hope you don't mind this whole analysis 😅 but I really wanted to talk more about GUN and since you clearly hate/dislike them just as much as I do (and many feel the same way) I really want to complain about them to someone who'll listen:

They were the ones that sent Robotnik in the first place. At least at the beginning he was just doing his job.

They knew that Gerald was Ivo's grandfather and alive all these years but they chose to not tell Ivo and let him think that he has no family his entire life. They used him because he was a genius and wanted him to make all those inventions for them and when they thought that he died they just acted as if he never existed.

They hired one of their agents to seduce Sonic's aunt, propose to her, and plan the whole wedding so that they would capture Sonic (I'm sorry I'm trying to stay serious but what the hell is wrong with GUN?! I don't know if I should cry or laugh and this is only the beginning). Poor Rachel too! They didn't care about anyone whether it was humans or aliens. I kinda wasn't happy that Rachel couldn't stay mad, what they did to her was horrible.

They captured Sonic and Tails. Tails was injured when they captured him and they didn't do anything about it, they simply put him and Sonic in cages after they tased Sonic to make sure he's unconscious too, they arrested Tom too when he tried to defend his son. This scene always breaks me, poor babies 😢

They found Shadow when he landed on Earth, kidnapped him, held him in a cryo pod and were doing experiments on him. (Gee, I wonder why Tom and Maddie didn't trust GUN with Sonic and kept Sonic hidden in their house instead after the first movie).

They were responsible for the death of a child, Maria (Walters did try to protect her and Shadow but when others killed her he mistreated Shadow. He definitely had more sympathy for Maria, she was a human child after all.) This moment right here physically hurts me cuz not only that they don't seem to care about the child they just killed but also they're surrounding Shadow and Gerald with weapons as if Shadow and Gerald were the ones who did something terrible here... They didn't care about the child they just killed, they only wanted to capture Shadow, that was their priority and Maria was just a collateral damage.

Right after they killed Maria they threw Gerald, her grandfather who loved her, in jail for 50 years and forced him to make Eclipse Cannon, that can destroy the planet. He went crazy because of all that and WHO WOULDN'T?!

They froze Shadow for 50 years (would definitely stay frozen way longer if he didn't escape) because they just didn't know what to do with him and kept him awake and fully aware of what they were doing to him during the process. I'll once again remind y'all of Walters' comment that Shadow was "too valuable to destroy", because Shadow was property to them and not a young living being with feelings and trauma that they gave him. His face here breaks my heart... Look how helpless he was here...

I added as many examples of how terrible GUN is as I can remember but if there are more you can always add them in the comments. I could easily add every scene and every screenshot with GUN cuz even at their better moments, they're still really bad, but I tried to pick the most important parts.

As for Rockwell, yeah she's gonna be a handful. She's definitely worse than Walters. At least he realized in his last moments that you can trust some aliens, but she isn't going to be easy to convince. They'll probably be even worse from now on and they probably didn't learn their lesson after Shadow. They better not hurt my baby girl Amy or the Colorful Bunch. I have some theories but I'd rather wait and see what's next.

Amy was hiding her identity here from Metal Sonic but I'm not sure if she doesn't want GUN to find her either cuz she's not hiding from Sonic, she let him see her.

Either way, it's not going to be easy for our alien kids and GUN gave me no reason to trust them so far. It says a lot that Robotnik and Stone were WAY more likeable to me than GUN. I hope GUN will leave Shadow alone and if they can't, I hope he'll kick GUN's butts again.

[livingformintyoongi]

Safe Haven | Kim Seokjin

Summary: Based on this post by @foryoufics (She also did her version with Jimin, you can read it in this link <3). Warnings: I guess we can say it's a bit angsty, but it also has fluff! Jin is a sweetheart and tries to comfort his wife because he can't stand to see the love of his life sad. Pairing: Fem!reader x Kim Seokjin Word count: 2.3k Permanent Taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @superbbananananana @drpepperobsessed @themwordsblog @taekritimin123 @bluecloudss @yooglefics @tan-veee @angellekookie @madussthoughts Dividers by @kodaswrld

This day had been more exhausting than any other. You were used to carrying the weight of everything, filling your mind with questions generated by your anxiety that made you overthink everything over and over again: Am I enough? Am I trying too hard? What have I done wrong? Those, and hundreds of other questions, made your insecurity take over every corner of your mind.

And honestly, you were so tired of it all.

“Y/N…” your father murmured behind you, watching you as your attention remained focused on the oven in front of you. You had spent the last few weeks going back and forth from your house to your father’s café, trying to do everything you could to help him, to be useful, all in hopes that someone, anyone, would notice your efforts.

Customers love this kind of stuff, right? Cakes make people happy, you wanted to make people happy with your work, was that too much to ask?

“I just put the muffins in the oven, so we can’t take them out yet. Should I start making the cookie dough? Mom said they’ve been selling the most these past few days.”

“Y/N, stop.” You felt your father’s hands land firmly on your shoulders, forcing you to shift your focus towards him. You could see it in his face, that look everyone had been giving you these past few days: pity, sadness. You really hated it. “I really appreciate that you want to help, and I’ve enjoyed having you back after all this time apart, but I think it’s time for you to… go home.”

“What do you mean?” you whispered, feeling your heart shrink in your chest at his request. Were you bothering your father now? Were you not being helpful to him either? Had you become a second choice for him as well?

“You’ve been coming here for weeks, working nonstop, we barely have time for ourselves…” He paused before continuing, his eyes, although hesitant, stayed locked on yours. “You barely have time for yourself. You’re still so young, you have a life out there, a husband, friends… You shouldn’t be wasting your time with your parents. We’ve lived a whole life with you, it’s time for you to start living yours, sweetheart.”

Ah.

You wanted to cry again.

How could you explain to your father that he was wrong about most things?

You had no friends, at least not any who cared in the same way you cared for them. You felt like your life was crumbling little by little, like you had built a house of bricks that you kept demolishing because one of them didn’t fit with the others. And your husband… Ah, Jin, your dear husband.

Thinking about him brought you a little peace. For a second, you felt the pressure in your chest become a little more bearable; Jin loved you, he always had, he was one of the few people who always put you first. You were always his first choice, even when dozens of women were in love with him. He was always there for you when your mind played tricks on you, and he was always patient with you, even when you couldn’t be with yourself.

You loved Jin, and he loved you, and that gave you a deep peace amidst the storm that was your mind.

“I’ve called him to come pick you up, he should be here soon,” your father’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you quickly refocused on him as he came closer to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Go home and rest for a bit, okay?”

You let out a soft sigh, one that sounded just like how you felt: exhausted. “Alright… thank you.”

Your eyes began to sting the moment his arms enveloped you in a warm hug. This was exactly why you came here. The warmth of home, the security your parents gave you, the fact that no matter what happened, you would always be their daughter, someone irreplaceable, someone they would always love.

You squeezed your father’s sturdy body against yours, using all your strength, holding onto his shirt as if you were that little girl again who would come crying to her parents’ room after a nightmare, needing the comfort of the only people who could protect her from the horrors of the outside world.

The soft ringing of a bell followed by the sound of the door closing caught your attention. You barely peeked your face from your father’s neck, just enough to see who it was. You almost let out a sob when you saw Jin standing in the doorway, looking like he had just run a marathon.

Had he really come here running just to pick you up?

“Sorry for the delay, traffic was crazy,” he let out a laugh, not the usual one that made everyone around him laugh, but one more nervous, as if he wanted to lighten the mood with a poor attempt at humor. “Uh… are you ready to go or…?”

“No, no, I’m… I’m ready,” you murmured, letting go of your father’s shirt and saying goodbye with a barely perceptible smile. “Goodbye, Dad, see you later,” you gently patted his shoulders, a small part of you still refusing to let him go completely, maybe that inner child that still lived within you, needing the shelter of your parents. On the other hand, the more mature side of you, the one that governed most of you, knew you couldn’t stay here baking cakes and cookies forever.

So, you let him go.

“Let’s go,” you said quietly to Jin, walking straight to the door to leave the place. The suffocating feeling was hard to shake off, even when you were outdoors, and the slight pressure in your chest was becoming more unbearable. You had barely stepped outside, and already felt like you were about to crumble.

“Sweetheart,” Jin’s voice sounded far away to you, was it your imagination? Had you walked too far? Had your thoughts become so loud that even the voices of real people now seemed muffled and lifeless? “Why don’t we sit down for a second?”

You didn’t respond before his hands took yours and guided you to a small bench in the park just a few meters from your parents’ café. When had you walked so far?

His soft hands gently held yours as he helped you sit down on the bench. Your tumultuous and overwhelming thoughts, although still present, seemed to shrink into a small corner of your mind, allowing you to return to the real world. Allowing you to see Jin.

His dark brown eyes watched your face with attention, and one of his hands had risen to your cheek without you noticing. His touch made you melt into him the moment your brain fully processed what he was doing. It felt good to have him close.

“I’m not going to pressure you or anything, because I don’t want your little head playing against you more than it already has, so I’ll ask you this question, and if you don’t want to answer it, then we’ll just go on as if nothing happened until the moment you’re ready, okay?” A small smile appeared on his plump lips when he saw you nodding quietly. Well, at least you were listening, that was progress. “Can you tell me why you’re like this?”

“I… I don’t know,” you whispered with a broken voice. You hated that question, hated the answer, and hated how the urge to cry began to flood you again to the point where even breathing became hard, like the pain in your chest grew stronger, and how you couldn’t see clearly due to the salty water beginning to form in your eyes.

You hated feeling like this.

“Are you sure?” Jin asked, tilting his head slightly so he wouldn’t lose eye contact with you. It was only then, when you saw the worry in his face, that you broke down.

Finally, you let everything you had inside pour out in the form of a messy cry, cheeks filled with tears and soft gasps hidden between sobs that made it hard to speak normally. The only comfort you had were Jin’s strong and warm arms wrapped around your body protectively, trying to calm your sadness with sweet words, soft kisses on your shoulder, and caresses on your back.

You were a walking mess right now, yes, but, for some reason, it felt comforting. Crying on the shoulder of one of the most important people to you, letting out the pain that had been in your chest… it felt liberating.

“It’s okay… everything will be okay,” he whispered beside your ear, using one of his hands to stroke your hair. You could feel his head resting against yours and his hands holding you tightly against him, as if he knew you felt like you were going to collapse at any moment.

“I feel so… so alone,” you groaned between sobs, hiding your face in that area where his neck met his shoulder. The hiccups became more constant, making it really hard for you to speak, but that didn’t stop you, not now that you could finally get it out of your mind. “I’ve tried everything, Jin, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I try… it’s never enough.” You clenched your jaw, trying to stop a sob from escaping too loudly; you were still aware enough to remember you were in a public place. “I’m never enough for anyone.”

“Hey, hey,” he pulled away slightly from you, creating enough distance to take your cheeks in his hands so he could look you in the eyes. “Sweetheart, look at me.” His warm, soft thumbs wiped away the stream of tears falling from your eyes, and although he couldn’t stop the sobs from escaping, the way he caressed your face managed to calm your crying a bit. “What are you talking about? What do you mean by that?”

“It’s just that… I’ve tried everything to be what everyone always expects. I always gave my best to fit in with other people and no matter how much I try, it never seems to work," you said, your voice shaky, your eyes avoiding Jin's every few seconds because you were completely incapable of looking him in the eye. "I'm always the second choice, Jin. No one has ever truly considered me; Seojoon always invites Seulgi to his outings and only turns to me when she cancels, the same happens with Jumin and Seyeon and with absolutely all of my friends." You covered your eyes with your hands, just like a five-year-old child trying to wipe away tears or hide their gaze. "Am I that unpleasant? Is it really that hard to think of me as someone other than the replacement for someone else?"

"Of course not," he quickly shook his head, frowning when he heard your concern. Jin had known you’d been having some issues with your friends lately; he figured it out when you started going to your parents' café, but he never thought it was because of the insecurity their actions were causing you. "It's not hard to love you, of course it’s not! Loving you is as easy as breathing, it’s... it’s something you do unconsciously, that's it!" He moved his face closer to yours, gently pressing your foreheads together. "I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding, but even if it's not, what does it matter what they think? Other people's decisions don't define your worth."

"But—"

"No, Y/N, no buts," he said with the softest voice he could, lifting your face so he could kiss your forehead. "You are the sweetest, most thoughtful, and loving woman I’ve ever met in my life; you are my best friend, my wife, the love of my life, and I won’t let you speak ill of someone so important to me because of idiots who don’t know how to value the wonderful friend they have." He couldn't help but smile when he heard you let out a soft laugh at his comment. Good, he had managed to calm your tears a little. "Friends come and go, if they really loved you, they’d stay by your side through the good and the bad... maybe you haven't found the right people yet, but you’re still young, you still have time to find a circle where you’re accepted for who you are, not for who you pretend to be to please them." He gently stroked your cheeks, watching as your red nose scrunched up slightly and your brow furrowed. "And until then, I’ll be by your side, I’ll take care of you at all times because you are my best friend, and I’ll be with you no matter what, understood?"

You took a deep breath. Slowly, you counted to 10, regulating your breathing as best as you could. Then, you nodded. "Understood."

"Good, then," he stood up from the floor, taking your hands to help you up from the bench, never stopping the gentle caress of your knuckles. "What do you think about going home, I’ll make your favorite food, and we can watch a couple of movies until we fall asleep?"

You smiled faintly, watching as your husband smiled back at you cheerfully, as if you didn’t look like a complete mess at the moment.

"That sounds perfect," you murmured, giving his hands a soft squeeze before starting to walk back to where his car was parked.

Jin glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noticing how your gaze stayed low and melancholic, but less depressed than before. He knew it would take time to lift that weight from your heart completely, but he was willing to wait and help in any way he could to make that fear disappear.

Masterlist.

[jumpingjoltiks]

Um hiii!! Could I request an x reader for ingo and emmet (seperately) with a reader who is autistic but like. REALLY masks? Like a level of masking where the boys don't even know that they're autistic at first, and they're VERY different when they aren't out in public/don't feel the need to mask. I love ur writing btw >_<!!!

AAAA Thank you smmm! I’m so happy you’ve enjoyed my work! <3 <3 <3

I’ve already written a little bit about the twins being autistic already, so I’m happy to get to finally write some x reader stuff to go with it!

Biiiiig mood. I've spent most of my life masking, so I think a lot of this will probably come from my own experiences. I ended up making this a few different sections instead of just one, all coming out of different ideas I had. :)

The twins with someone who is also autistic, but masks heavily

Ingo Gets It. He understands the fear and the pressure to fit in. Emmet doesn’t, but he tries his best to respect your decision (though, secretly, he wishes you’d be more yourself. Both boys love when you’re being the most authentic version of you, but Emmet really wants to see it all the time).

Being actually comfortable around them takes a while (as it would with anyone) – its hard work to decondition yourself like that, to convince yourself you’re really, genuinely safe being yourself – but the twins’ (especially Emmet’s) refusal to mask is enormously helpful in this regard. Their unabashed devotion to being exactly who they are is inspiring.

Emmet devotedly listens to your infodumping, especially if it’s something he’s also interested in. Ingo is thrilled to find someone else who will listen to him too. Late in the evening, when Ingo is cooking and you’re all three in the kitchen together, you all talk like no one has ever looked at you strangely before – open and honest and genuinely excited just to share knowledge and enjoy this moment together.

There’s a certain amount of bluntness between you three, but none of you really mind. If hurtful words are ever said, you can be sure that they weren’t really meant to be cruel. You can always talk things out. Emmet, in particular, has trouble with his straightforward attitude, and sometimes says things that come out wrong – do you as well? He knows how hard it can be to find the right way to say things.

And if you don’t feel like spending time together right now, the twins understand that too. There have been plenty of days when one or the other will come home and lock themselves in their room for a while, just to cool down. If you should come home from your job or a grocery run and need some time, they’ll handle the rest.

Decompression

Would it surprise you to know that it’s Emmet who catches on first? There’s a good reason for that! He’s had a lifetime of keeping an eye on his brother, who also used to heavily mask.

Your own tells are different then Ingo’s, to be sure, but they’re there regardless.

After a tough day, you’re taking the subway home. He notices that your posture and gait are different & your expression is stiffer. You’re clinging to your sense of self-control.

He’s got things he needs to attend to, but you’re a dear friend… your wellbeing comes first, he decides. Emmet doesn’t hesitate to fall into step next to you as you traverse through the station.

“Good afternoon! Are you doing alright?”

You know he’s not one for small talk… so what is he doing? The flash of a puzzled look crosses your face before you smile up at him. It’s humiliating, but you can’t seem to summon up words right now. This will have to do.

Emmet knows smiles. Yours is tight and strained, not at all like your usual smile. And you haven’t answered. He doesn’t like this at all. All signs are pointing to a systems crash.

“Your engine is overheated. I can tell. Do you need a place to step aside for maintenance? My office isn’t far.”

You stare at him blankly, trying to parse exactly what kind of metaphor he’s making.

But you’re too overstimulated and tired to put too much thought into it. Eventually, you sigh and nod. He leads you through the crowd with swinging arms and legs, and people part before him.

The office is an open space that is fastidiously tidy. A sofa is tucked against one wall, opposite is a set of shelves with all kinds of books and files neatly arranged. A pair of matching desks are stationed toward the back of the room. You’ve never been in here, but somehow you instinctively know that this is a safe place for you.

“I have a mini fridge. You are welcome to any of the snacks and cold waters I have. There are also noise cancelling headphones if you want. I know that Gear Station can be verrrrry noisy when overstimulated.”

You think that’s the longest stretch of words you’ve ever heard Emmet say, and you can only stare up at him wordlessly in response. You didn’t realize he had you figured out. Shame threatens to creep in, but then he smiles as he holds out a bottle of ice water to you. He smiles like he knows. There isn’t a single trace of pity or belittlement in it, only understanding.

You take the bottle of water with a small, genuine smile of your own. It’s the first one you’ve had all day.

When you sit down on the couch, Emmet takes off his coat and places it over your shoulders. It’s pretty big on you… but it’s also really heavy. You hadn’t realized it was weighted this whole time. The pressure feels nice, and you bury yourself into it. Emmet seems pleased, like he knew this would happen.

“I am going to do some paperwork at my desk. Would you like the lights off?”

You nod wordlessly and he flicks the light switch off in response. The only light in the room is the warm glow of a desk lamp, focused down onto his work station and away from you. Even the faint hum of electricity that would usually come out of a lamp like that is silent, which is an enormous relief.

The only sound for the next hour is Emmet’s pen near silently sweeping across the pages of his work. You stay quiet and buried under his coat, eyes closed and dozing somewhere between sleeping and waking. You feel safe.

After what feels like an age, you shift from under the coat and re-emerge, feeling much better. Emmet’s eyes flick up to you.

“Do you feel any better?” he asks. His voice is quiet.

“Yes.” You answer, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

He cuts you off. “Do not apologize. Ingo and I have spent many afternoons doing the same. I’m just glad I was there to offer help.”

From that point on, things are… different between you and the twins. Emmet must have told his brother about what happened, because Ingo is more open around you.

You’ve been friends for a long time, but something seems to have unlocked now. The three of you quickly catch like a struck match.

Parallel Play

You spend a lot of time over at their place, and they at yours. Expect Ingo to politely ask if he or Emmet or both can come spend time with you.

This worried you at first, when you were still friends and not yet dating, but the twins don’t actually want your attention, per say. They just want to be in the same room as you while they do their own thing. Not having to “host” takes so much pressure off of you that you wonder why anyone entertains any other way.

Ingo will be reading, curled up in one of your chairs or on a couch, so still you’d think he was asleep if not for the intermittent turn of a page. Emmet is reviewing battle plans and notes, spread out across your table, one leg bouncing. Occasionally, he gets up to pace and mutter to himself, not looking at either you or his brother. You’re working on one of your hobbies in the living room. Not one of you bothers the others. It’s… peaceful. And nice, just having them unobtrusively nearby.

Do you stim? They have a cache of puzzle-y, twisty toys and clickers in a drawer. You’re more than welcome to them, or to anything else you need.

Eventually, if you’d like, you can curl up with Ingo underneath the weighted blanket he’s got spread across his lap. He’ll swing an arm around you without looking up from his book, and you listen to his heartbeat and steady breathing as you nod off.

Or Emmet might come over to you and quietly offer you a warm mug of hot chocolate. The two of you sit back-to-back in silence, sipping your drinks and working on your respective projects.

How nice it is, you think, to spend time with those who understand.

[wayfayrr]

The final raffle prize for my 200 followers event! This is for @peepthatbish with a reader learning and reading sign, I went though a few different Ideas before settling on this one to get the idea out, but wars sewing trouble and a soft wild won me over. What wild says through sign is the soft blue colour and the red is a mistranslation of what he's really saying. I hope you like it!! <3

[masterlist]

I wish there were an easier way to talk to Wild rather than having to get Wars or Twilight to translate his signs for me, especially since he’s been wanting to spend more time alone with me recently. As much as I try there’s only so far that reading body language can get you and it’s not like I can read Hylian either which leaves me stuck. Maybe I should just ask one of them if they’d be willing to teach me, I doubt they’d say no.

“[Name]? You seem distracted, are you alright? I know you’re not used to travelling like the rest of us but if you’d like to talk about anything then. I’m more than willing to listen to you, if it’s got you up this early then it’s surely an issue.”

“Oh? Uh, thanks for your concern captain but I was just thinking about Wild actually. I’ll keep your offer in mind though, so thank you..”

“‘About wild’? What about him are you thinking of?”

Huh, I could’ve sworn there was a hint of jealousy in his voice, but why would he be jealous of the idea of me spending… more time alone with Wild? Well, I think I might've answered my own question there. Really though, what reason would he have to be jealous of that, it’s not like Wars is close enough with me to be so possessive of me? 

“Just about how he’s been wanting to spend more alone time with me and how I’d like to learn some Hylian signs so that I can be alone and hold a conversation with him. Not that I don’t appreciate you and Twilight translating of course.”

“It’s never a bother to translate for you though, you could wake me up at whatever time and I wouldn’t even bat an eye.”

He pauses for a moment after that, the look on his face the same as when he’s planning his next movements watching a monster camp. There’s never been another moment other than that where he’s been this focused. Is the idea of spending more time with me really that important to him? 

“If you really want me to I can give you some lessons though, it’ll take a while for you to learn but whenever we have any downtime we can sit off somewhere quiet away from the others and I’ll give you some tutoring.”

He’d really switch from being jealous of me spending more time with wild and not wanting to do this to wanting to teach me himself? I know he’s getting some extra time alone with me while I learn, but does that really make up me possibly spending less time with him when I’ve learned enough to be alone with wild? Seeing as he’s willing it’s better I don’t press him on it so he won’t change his mind even if he does I could always ask twilight. With how he’s looking at me that might not be the smartest thing to do.

“What would you like to start with then [name]?”

“You know what kind of things Wild says to me the most often, maybe we could start with those things?”

“That does sound like the best place to start, I think we have an hour or two until the others will wake up, so why not start now”

And we certainly did, the time seemed to pass quicker than usual with him, it was nice to be doing something seeing as there wasn’t really a chance of me being able to go back to sleep. Something feels off about the signs he’s teaching me though, they aren’t what wild usually uses when he’s saying similar things. Maybe it’s just a different way to say things like how you can say yes in hundreds of different ways. He was still teaching me when the others started to stir, with wild waking up to start preparing breakfast for us all. No time like the present to test out the new language. 

“Mornin’ Wild! Wars spent some of the morning teaching me some hyrulian sign, so we should be able to talk alone more often now!”

Hey [name]! That’s amazing to hear, I can’t wait to talk to you more!! What do you want [name]. Can’t you see I’m too busy to talk? Just leave me alone.

“There’s no reason to be like that, I was just telling you. I’m sorry that I bothered you.”

Bother me? No, I want to talk to you, don’t go. Please? Thank you. Stay out of my sight for a bit, please. You’re distracting.

“I - I’m going. You don’t need to tell me twice.”

It’s like wild can’t make up his mind between his signs and his actions, he’s telling me to leave him alone but the second I turn away he grabs my wrist? It’s not like he really wants me here unless - Wars could have taught me wrong on purpose. With how possessive he was it’s not impossible, but why do that rather than just not teach me? He knew you’d just go to Twillight if he didn’t, you left him out of options. Wild’s grip isn’t to be messed with though, it’ll bruise if it gets any tighter - if it isn’t already. The noise we’re making seems to have woken the others up, as Twi shocks the both of us by grabbing our shoulders. 

“Aight - what’s got you’s so riled up.”

[name] said wars told them sign and I don’t think he taught them right.

“Wars taught me some hylian sign, so I wanted to talk to wild and he was just … mean.”

“Ah. I think wars taught you very wrong darlin’, Wild could never be rude to you, he’s fallen too far for that.”

With a wink and a nudge from twi at that, well he’s certainly proved my earlier thoughts, as well as throwing a frew new ones into the mix. No wonder wars would be jealous of him trying to get closer to me. But.. Wild likes me? That - well it adds up but I really wish this wasn’t how I learned. His kicked puppy look is heart-wrenching; I don’t blame him of course if my crush was deliberately taught to misunderstand me and then told about my crush on them? I’d be just as upset. Where should I go from here though? There’s a couple of different options, with one making a lot more sense to me. 

“Would you be able to teach me properly then rancher? I really would like to get closer to Wild; this seems like the best way to do that.”

“If the champ wants me too, then I don’t see an issue cub.”

Only if I’m there to make sure they’re being taught right. 

“Course wild.”

That should clear up everything then and I’ll be able to do what I actually wanted too rather than the exact opposite, Wild sitting next to me a blushy mess only makes it better. Twi’s lessons feel a lot better from the ones Wars gave me from the get go, he’s more careful with explaining the meanings as well as more patient with me; Wild adding in occasionally with things he thinks are important to know. I know I’m not gonna pick up all that much today but it’s amazing to finally be able to really talk to wild, now I’ve got some of the basics like how to spell Wild’s planning to take over most of my lessons for me anyway. There’s one sign that Twi taught me that really stood out to me though, crossing both hands flat and pressed to his heart. Love. The very same sign that he’s been using in place of my name for a few weeks now. He’s been practically confessing right to my face and I never even knew. Even with all of that I can’t help but want to tease him a little, now that the issues earlier are all cleared.

“So then lover-boy, were you hoping that your mentor was going to translate your confession for you, or were you hoping that this would all happen sooner?”

Hoping that you wouldn’t catch on for a long while yet. 

“Awh, is the idea of me knowing and reciprocating all that bad to you?”

Reciprocating?

I didn’t mean to say that outloud. My face feels like it’s hot enough to cook with now, why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut! Wild seems to be glowing at that though, he’s not making a move to talk or anything, just staring at me with the sweetest love struck expression. I would love for him to look at me like that often, it’s so pure and loving that I can’t help but want more of it. 

Would you be against us being more serious then… if you really do love me too. I think I'd like to try. 

“...”

“I think I would like that, I’d like that a lot actually. To be able to call you mine? It sounds nice.”

[xviruserrorx]

No actually I'm gonna rant and say as someone who has been on a variety of hormone meds since I was about six; guess what every single one does? They change your body, your weight fluctuates, your body hair, the way your fat deposits, your voice, certain tissue growth, your muscles, your body odor, even stuff like your energy levels, your blood sugar, your heart rate/blood pressure, your appetite, your libido, your sleep pattern, everything. Everything can change when it comes to hormone medications.

But then when the doctor gives you them and you asked, I've always been told "well you might loose or gain a little bit of weight but nothing drastic, but you need these meds" and then the changes do end up being drastic either for better or for worst and when you bring it up they shrug you off with a "well that's normal it's the side effects of the med"

But, but when it comes to anyone using the same meds that six year old me was on, but using it for gender confirmation purposes all of a sudden these are big bad horrible medications that they start their arguments with that cause drastic horrible changes and long term effects and... It's just so mind boggling how that changes so quickly when talking about different groups of people and their needs for certain medical care

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[ovyy-pvcure]

Ok well nobody asked but I'm bored so wild transmigration Naruro au borne of madness go.

So first things first Kishimoto made one gigantic mistake and that was making and naming a bit character that's easy to do the whole 'dead modern human pops into the body of a canon character' thing.

^ That's Tobio who shows up exactly once in the entire series at the start to accidentally knock Naruto off balance and kick off literal decades of shipping. This convinent oc stand in blank canvas is the turning point of the au that means when he accidentally dies as a result of that one off-canon event the universe* steps in and sticks a random schmuck in place to keep things basically on plan. There's, like, prophesies to fullfill (and cosmic schemes going on). Which is why and how a late age teenager finds themselves stuck in a 12 year old's body ("it matches your emotional age") after an unfortuante accident with nothing but the basi s of chakra and history downloaded to their brain and no psrsonal memories of the new body to call on. Oh, and a cheery "good luck" before getting dropped into basicially the start of the plot just before team allocation. Where, as the top student in the "espionage and subterfuge" class he's assigned as the final member of team 7.

To give the basic skeleton of what's taken shape in my head already the first arc would follow tobio as he tries to wrangle the cats known to the public as Sasuke and Naruto without actually letting anyone know he has literally no memory of anything that's happened to him before a couple months ago. Oh and surviving the grueling change of lifestyle inherent in becoming a Child Soldier. He's doing Great this arc. Not stressed At All as he tries to juggle managing his teammates' egos with getting stronger because he has none allies or parents or connections to fall back on if he stumbles.

Well he thinks so anyway he's Kakshi's favorite adorable little student because he's the one who keeps pulling NaruSasu apart and making them actually, you know, cooperate. Naruto likes him because tobio treats him like a person and Sasuke at least appreciates that he doesn't have a fangirl in his squad and he's even focused on getting better so no deadweight. Also Mizuki's hovering around asking how he's progressing and if he feels ready which is odd since wasn't Mizuki beaten to an inch of life for all that treason he was up to? Well, not tobio's problem.

If you're curious how tobio died so is he! He can't remember; he was just told in the void of space time that he had an accident, died and now he's getting shipped off to 12 year old boot camp. What he does know is his own sarcastic rebellious wit has nothing on the universe's* considering it called him a quote "sarcastic bitch" as it did the whole transmigiration thing.

Blah blah blah team building, lunch at ichiraku's using future knowledge to climb trees early the usual oc stuff up until Wave. Things even go kind of normal up until the city is reached where kakshi's chakra lesson gets more than a little derailed by tobio already knowing how to do the whole shebang. Instead of being sent off to guard the bridge he suggests Naruto do so with clones since he's been thinking of a way to make use of his specialized training and making this mission truly worth Konoha's time.

A reoccurring element of the first arc is that the people around him not really knowing the OG Tobio that well is a boon his training in espionage is also guiding tobio to keeping his own secrets under wraps. tobio wants to infiltrate Gato's orginization and siphon money directly into The Leaf's coffers as recompense for making it impossible for the village to get properly paid from the outset. Besides Zabuza's gonna kill Gato so it's fine. Kakshi is against it but can't deny the logic and concedes but insists tobio's top priority is his contiuned survival.

Due to all the miscellaneous ne'er do wells romping about it's easy for a trained Ninja to slip in and start liberating ryo for Konoha (and maybe some for Wave while he's at it). Things contiune apace until The Bridge Showdown where in the confusion tobio once again slips into the waiting horde of Goons. Right next to Gato. Kyubi chakra comes with a weird feeling alongside the terrifying bloodlust from Naruto himself and tobio seizes the opportunity to take out Gato himself before the order to fire on Zabuza can be given.

In the temporary silence we have a dying Haku, a dead Gato and a disguised tobio skipping out of the goon squad cheerfully announcing Gato's plan to shoot everyone left on the bridge dead before his interference and daring anyone to contradict him. They can't mostly because the small child with blood dripping off their knives has scared them silent, and instead of fighting they flee with a furious Zabuza in pursuit. Haku doesn't survive but Z does to contiune his bloodly plans for revolution but now without his restraining bolt. This will cause problems for our heroes later. But for now Wave is a success and only one of the children has killed anyone in cold blood. Only Kakashi is worried about this. Oh and all the builders who are now wary around the killer kid who mocked and psychologically attacked his victims first. Victory all around!

Kakashi can not get the privacy needed to properly talk to his genin about the thing he did until they're back in Konoha where he overhears Mizuki grilling his student for details on the mission and dropping info he really shouldn't be re: the kyubi, and implying Tobio was meant to somehow harm Naruto. Which is the conversation that tips tobio off to the divigerence which is that oops Tobio was doing himself a Treason. Thankfully tobio is a fully trained fluent liar who reports to Mizuki that he never had a chance to harm Naruto and that, no, there was no hint of the Kyubi both of which are lies the eavesdropping Kakashi catches but isn't sure what to make of. tobio himself is basicially flying by the seat of his pants as he describes Sasuke's growth and personality even as he internally starts to panic as he realizes just how epically Screwed he is since he also doesn't know Kakashi is there, and now Mizuki and Tobio's treason is his problem. Crap.

A sweep of his apartment has tobio finding a journal of his days in the academy where one day Tobio reports Mizuki pulling him aside and pointing out he'll be lucky go get a proper jonin teacher and get out of the genin corps if he continues on the normal path but Mizuki has a solution since he feels so bad for another orphan of the Kyubei attack. His new plan is to join the E&S course the so called "kunoichi class" and with Mizuki's help-all helpfully noted down by Tobio and utterly obviously manipulative to tobio-he can ace that and get put on a star team with a good future. With Sasuke he means so someone can keep an eye on the Uchiha for Orochimaru. The journal also veers off into a hateful anti-Konoha rant at the revealation of Tobio's parents killer's continued existence and favortism from the Third via Naruto. However misguided a start by the time of graduation testing Tobio had been perfectly groomed into Mizuki's personal spy who had a sneering relief that he could leave Konoha and a dead Naruto behind after they secured the scroll for their actual master.

Well, to be forewarned is to be forearmed as they say, and no one else in the village has as much foreknowledge as tobio who thinks it's high time he got serious and picked put a proper name for himself: Otogiri Tobio sounds perfect.

Otogiri doesn't know Kakashi knows even half of this but luckily neither does anyone else yet. While the poor scarecrow man tries to figure out just what is happening without directly confronting a possible traitor in his own squad even as political pressure mounts to prove one of Konoha's founding clans has a strong future by putting Sasuke (and his squad they guess. Whatever.) into the chuunin exam. With an effective A rank under their belt and Otogiri's proliferation of funds Kakashi would need a pretty sound reason not to bend to the council's "suggestion" and he doesn't want to leave the boys alone with a possible traitor but he also doesn't want T&E descending on his student for maybe nothing. So in they go causing the domino effect that ends with the K9 (sans sakura plus Otogiri) all enrolled in the annual deathmatch.

Ignorant of all this back door politicking going on Otogiri's already gearing up for the Invasion. Chuunin exams? Sure he's signed up the squad's in. Whatever. He's got bigger problems including Mizuki dropping in and telling him to meet up and assist the incoming Sound kids. No one notices the dog watching this play out not that Mizuki's sloppy enough to say anything outright but Otogiri catches the subtext, but also sees a chance to start turning the tables on that creep. After all Orochimaru already wants Sasuke, and Naruto's becoming pretty strong himself maybe they should pull everyone in?

So on the prophesied day squad 7 is coincidentally in place to welcome and show around the teens from the newly founded village of Sound. Otogiri is a little concered but the thing about Naruto is that yes he's loud and arrogant and annoying and has to be physically wrestled into bathing regularly but he's charismatic enough for all that to be liked anyway. And Zaku? Is loud and arrogant and definitely had to be wrestled into a bath at least 5 times so he likes the kid, and their friendly little mole's hinting that he's not been treated great by the Leaf so why not get along and lead the kid astray? Could be fun.

Kin has a headache. She's met louder blonde Zaku and she wants to Die about it. She and Sasuke bond over it as they have to quiet the duo down.

Dosu is amused by Kin's discomfort and Zaku's weirdly instant attachment, but as long as they serve their duty he's fine with it. They're the best the Sound has to offer that could pass as genin. The mole worries him a little, he's a little too quick witted and sharp to feel like he's really their ally and he never says anything to give him a hint of where he lies beyond the veiled code phrase he introduced himself with to mark him as the Tobio they were supposed to meet. The blonde's infectious energy and loudness doesn't leave him exposing weaknesses in the village, and The Uchia clearly looks down on their little village. Well he'd change his mind about that once the rest of his squad turned on him or Dosu would have the personal pleasure of wiping the smug off his face.

Otogiri is not having a great time he has a little over a month to get Dosu to trust him so he can derail Orochimaru's chess style pawn sacrifice strategy for his own shogi inspired pawn theft strategy. Some people might claim using alternate universe future knowledge is cheating. Otogiri would claim that he's trying to outwit someone who even with his ages combined has 20 years minimum on him so really he needs every advantage he can get. Especially because Dosu is so damn distrusting that getting an in to try and make the older boy waver on his desire to gain glory is harder than making Sasunaru work together back in the first arc.

Blah blah blah chuunin exam stuff test speech forest of death. Where Otogiri realizes there was a fight with Rock Lee but no declaration of lust from him without Sakura. And he has no connection to Ino beyond her sort of hating him for stealing what she thinks should be her place. No it doesn't matter Sakura outranked her, Otogiri's on the wrong end of Ino's many grudges and eventually despite his best efforts he winds up with an unconscious chakra dampened Naruto and a freshly Cursed Sasuke. No allies forthcoming and probably 3 teens expecting an easy kill on their way. To be killed to make Sauske stronger.

Otogiri must once again consider that actually The Universe* is just screwing with him. With a bit of deception, luck, and just plain knowing more than he should Otogiri convinces the trio when they show up they're not really meant to try and kill Sasuke it's all a test of how wisely they can act on a mission. He bluffs that Mizuki told him what The Master could do and how he marked Sasuke betting on Dosu at least managing to link Curse Seals and their Effects on the mark on Sasuke.

Sound trio on side Naruto and then Sasuke wake up groggy and foggy as hell but hey safe! With their new cool allies! Naruto's devious nature surfaces and he makes a plan to net both teams all the scrolls they'll need with his prankster past . While he has the time Otogiri pulls Zaku aside and warns him to watch his tubing around the Aburame since their bugs follow and eat chakra which is a huge vulnerability for specifically him. Sorry Shino it just ain't your time-line.

Successful plan put into motion everyone moves onto The Tournament where things play out basicially as they do with the exception of Shino getting outplayed by Otogiri's timely warning. Naruto does a little better and wins less with a stroke of luck and more by being just enough better at chakra control the seal doesn't completely stop him. And of course Ino tries to vent when she gets paired up with her new Fated Rival (that random boy who was better in class than her and hasn't given her a second thought all story) but Otogiri is tired stressed and over it so he forces a grapple pins her hand with a kunai and presses his advantage until he knocks her out because Ino is Not A Quitter. By any sane metric Ino does fine but Otogiri's got his sights aimed way higher and has been training accordingly. Sorry, Ino just ain't your timeline either.

Seconds into the fight he gets even more stressed out as he realizes all at once the various things even a brief jaunt into his soul/mind would reveal. Making him fight way more aggressivly and mercilessly which the other K9 minus s7 don't like. Zaku and Kin do but boo on them.

Easy part over Otogiri has to rededicate himself to several things all at once: untangling the invasion's plans without drawing too much attention to himself. Keeping the sound trio alive and out of Orochimaru's hands to keep him from going full Necromancer on the Third. Keeping Naruto and Sasuke safe from the wretched hands moving on them. Again not drawing aggro himself from Danzo and ROOT. Or Jiraya. Noted spymaster. Old teammate of his new archnemesis. Naruto's newest teacher. Whooo.

Meanwhile in the mountains Kakashi is training Sasuke because he got paired up against a serial killer jinjuriki. Which is one more gray hair on his head along with all the other stuff including Otogiri seeking him out in private and explaining the attack, the seals and who he suspects was the attacker. Which. Kakashi is smart, he now probably knows who Mizuki sold Konoha out to and how and why Otogiri would know who he is but he still has no idea what angle the kid is working. Or if approaching him about it is smart. Kids are hard and Kakashi has been avoiding this for years. Obito please come back and help him you were always basicially a kid you'd know what was going on.

Otogiri has come to the conclusion it's officially time to call Gondor for aid and seeing as there's maybe 3 people who could be discrete enough to trail the trio and play off if they got caught. One was on a mountain one is him and one is...capable of self replication. Welp time to put a hand over Naruto's gross mouth and explain the bullet points.

A pinned Naruto with two hands over his mouth later gives more context to the Mizuki mysteries; he confirms it was Mizuki who told him of the special pass requirement and that he never showed that night. Iruka found him and he remembers an odd smell but has no memory beyond a very verbal lashing. Neither boy knows how Mizuki got away with it, but Otogiri spells out the "truth" to Naruto about Mizuki's plans to steal the scroll and leave Naruto to rot for it. In return for the tiny lie Otogiri tells Naruto he knows about the Kyubei and has decided that Naruto's too kind and simple to be a demon fox so he's cool with him.

Before even a single sappy sentiment can be shared Otogiri launches into his suspicions about how valuable Orochimaru finds their new "friends'" lives and Naruto is all about protecting them (believe it!). Together with a little "totally unknowing" help from a certain Toad Sage they figure out Kabuto's ninja info cards have summoning seals on them and before Dosu can go and get himself killed the new duo gush about how excited they are to see Zaku and Dosu kick butt in the stadium which is enough to mollify Dosu's increasing need to go out and prove himself. Barely.

Zaku's feeling right offended they were given "information cards" as if they needed the help to kick a bunch of kids' asses in a straight fight. Otogiri could kiss that lanky moron because he just handed him the answer and he makes a big show of agreeing and saying they should prove it by getting rid of those useless cards and giving them to him and Naruto who could use the help. Dosu's suspicion gauge raises another tick but the trio do and those cards find themselves in Jiraya's hands lightning quick.

Surprise surprise the cards have summoning sutras on them to send the holders to a preset location. Jiraya with the subtly of a trained deceiver who's lead a spy ring for decades pries a lot of information from Otogiri very skillfully and concludes what Otogiri already knew regarding the intentions of summoning cards the holders didn't know about. So, the sound trio receive a friendly visit from a friendly toad man who gleefully shows them the trap on the cards and notes whoever gave them these might not be as trustworthy as they thought. The trio say nothing, cutting contact with OtoNaru.

Come the tournament a lot of the usual beats play out; late Sauske, Naruto's still heated about Nehi being the ultimate Heel wrestler, Shikamaru proves he can make wise tactical decisions and before the oragnizers have to awkwardly side step there's one too many contestants Sauske dramatic entrances in and the fight begins. A fight Naruto Otogiri and Shikamaru miss because Dosu and company have given it some thought and are going to just full Bail but they know what's about to start and at least want the duo (and shikamaru they guess) to be awake and away when the fighting starts.

Naruto Talks at them and tries to fire them up agaisnt ol copperhead as everything Pops Off including a pall of mist that descends over the arena. Zabuza's found a fellow revolutionary it seems. Sasuke takes off after Gaara with Naruto hot on his heels with a shove from Otogiri seeing as their the "same".

Otogiri rounds on the trio and decides to use his own version of Talk pointing out that they owe one person one thing and that's revenge on Orochimaru. He tried to sacrifice them multiple times hasn't been in contact with them, and was gonna do who knows what with their bodies without consent. They can flee in the middle if they want but don't they want to pop him in the metaphorical face first? Zaku does. Kin does. Dosu doesn't anymore but his almost-friends (all 4 of them) aren't budging so he figures he might as well prove how non disposable they are by messing up snakey's plans.

Shikamaru is thoroughly disgruntled because Naruto dragged him along to the Gaara mess which is going basicially like canon. Shino's even here his bugs having devoured the genjutsu and wanting to back up his non insane classmate. An exhausted Shikamaru can barely hold back a desperate Temari until the timely ringing of bells saves him. Kin's strings may not have much shadow but they are a direct path to a disoriented Temari who has to watch her little brother actually struggle and bleed before she gets introduced to a tree the same way Kin was to a wall. Naruto summons a giant frog.

Meanwhile Kakashi is meeting back up with Zabuza, his ninken already have the swordsmaster's scent and this time they do need to settle the score. Zabuza's both mad at Kakashi for reasons he knows aren't sound and persuing his goal since Orochimaru will eventually tear down Wave and he says will leave it to Zabuza while he goes after the rest. He has to make Haku's sacrifice count so Leaf has to die on the vine just in case this time the promise is real. No points for guessing who wins in this confusing melee. Final tally: 3-0 kakashi:zabuza it was close though.

Meanwhile again Mizuki's poised to take some sweet justice against Iruka for, frankly, being a better instructor ninja and person than him wheb Otogiri shows up playing it like he wants the honor. No dice, Mizuki's wanted this for awhile and the kid's nowhere close enough to be subtle and he just has to drop the genjutsu on Mizuki to make him miss and engage his manipulator in a direct confrontation to end this whole twisted mess. Good thing Mizuki doesn't have that filler arc power up because Otogiri's fighting an uphill battle on this one.

But first Hayate Gekko's girlfriend the ANBU member Cat is engaging his canonical killer Baki the sand jonin her swordsmanship sharp enough to leave Baki's attempts to entangle her blade useless. And him open to said jonin's surprise strike taking out the sandman. Oh how the turntables. Is what someone who knows the alternate timeline would say since that confrontation didn't happen in this one since Dosu wasn't trailed and Hayate killed for Knowing Too Much.

Speaking of Dosu he and Zaku have run into Kabuto who's cover is very blown because Konoha's Spymaster got a peek at his Trap Cards and no one is happy with anyone here. Dosu and Zaku aren't exactly jonin level even combined but in a chaotic melee large windbursts and balance altering soundwaves make up for a lot when your speciality is up close precision scapel attacks. Kabuto would win ordinarily but he's a wanted man and there's an angry snake lady willing to take out her misplaced sense of displacement on a willing medical collabteour. Kabuto gets away in the end but Anko takes one look at the trio once everyone's round up in the end and asks "is anyone gonna claim these kids?" And not wait for an answer.

Back to Otogiri who lacks the element of surprise of numbers to overwhelm Mizuki and is going pretty even but for all the cheap kill shots he has to prevent from taking out a defenseless wounded Iruka who himself got taken down protecting the academy kids not named nepotism. Mizuki isn't his usual sneering jackass self here because he's pissed that the kid he'd been grooming slipped out of his control and had taken to playing him for a fool. Otogiri bullshits back that after seeing how Orochimaru treated his soldiers he made the choice to back out before he was sacrificed for a madman's goals stubbronly ignorning the Danzo in the room for now.

Injured, humiliated and generally unpleasant Mizuki lunges for Otogiri and gets his hands around the boy's throat. Any plan of escape is cut off by a torrent of rage and red as Otogiri loses it after all of Mizuki's crap and he simply rips the man's hands off him and before the former instructor can process the impossible thing he just witnessed he's driven into the side of the academy and has a kunai driven through his neck. Good thing Iruka passed out from his wounds and no impressionable children saw that. Oh hi Konohamaru don't wanna come out of hiding in that closet and say hi to Naruto nii chan's friend? No? Suit yourself he's gotta hurry Iruka to a healer anyway no time to stop and ask questions like "how" or "what the fuck?"

The final results of the invasion are far from pretty. Konoha's numbers are still pretty cut down as are Sand's who are still totally playing that "Orochimaru killed our kage and was giving orders so us invading you is totes not our fault" card they did in canon. It's accepted for the same reason as in canon: the sharks are already circling with blood in the water no need to churn the tide when a perfectly good excuse is offered up.

Third watch: without two other kages backing him in a restricted space and not enough time to restructure the plan to get Mandra in on the action sun wukong and The Professor taught a hard lesson in getting absolutely whomped. Orochimaru got away alive sans a working leg, but old man bodies aren't really still made for pitched life or death combat and his body's heavily protesting the return to combat. The can can be kicked a little further down the road safely but they need a qualified non Danzo candidate and soon.

Sound Trio: the corps aren't totally happy about it but they need manpower and they've got friends on the inside and a grudge against orochimaru so...probation working with Anko. She already adopted them they can't say no. And by adopted i do mean carted them away in a net to get lodgings and food. And a good medic to look at Zaku's arms.

Otogiri: in so much trouble you have no idea. His various schemes finally came out around someone without the good sense to lie about it so T&I would like a word with him. And Kakashi? Who is now claiming before anyone can even threaten pain or a jaunt through his head that they were in already working against the threat to Konoha since Wave. Kakashi?

His claim is the money stolen from Gato to insulate Wave and brought back to Konoha was in preparation for the coming storm. Obviously deep internal agents like Mizuki and Kabuto left Kakashi little choice but to keep Otogiri in deep cover to root out the problem without drawing suspicion by having contact with known figures like The Third. Kakashi had total control of the situation the whole time. Honest.

Otogiri's just kind of nodding along because he is just getting windmall slammed by haymaker after haymaker in a pretty short window of time. Ibuki is Not Buying This but the kid's actions prove his loyalty at the end of the day and if Hatake wants to take the lumps for his kid? Well, more power to him. Ibuki reminds Kakashi there are 'proper verified channels' for internal operations and he should remember to use them in the future. He expects a full concise report regarding everything from both of them and sends the teacher-student pair off with a glare.

This is where all that Kakashi stuff from earlier gets revealed to the audience as he goes over how and when he caught Otogiri mid treason and how close an eye he's actually been keeping on the boy. It is as terrifying as Kakashi's tone is light. Otogiri's just so incredibly thankful he declares his undying loyalty to his sensei for looking out for him and following his own principals so closely. Yes, Otogiri is crying at this point why do you ask?

This is the peaceful denouement of part 1 as Otogiri goes around catching up with who he can he is left to ponder why he has Kyubei chakra. How did Tobio even die anyway? And why is Jiraya here inviting him on a trip with Naruto? Does he wanna be a spymaster? Wasn't fixing Tobio's mistake the end of the story why is there more? Help!

Miscellaneous character notes on Otogiri:

-> is fairly meta and aware of transmigration novels and some of their rules. Is wrong about as often as he is right

-> has a fairly solid grasp on the character's motives but can't predict moments of wild humanity

-> has a hard time grasping his own mortality despite or rather because he has already died once. Will blank out at the idea of dying as bad as if not worse than Sakura when intent is aimed at him. Refuses to dwell on his first death or Tobio's

-> sarcastic and frequently argumentative. He likes to pick fights when he's feeling safe with someone.

-> was a bit of an edgelord in life and has a twisted sense of morality. His interference doesn't cost Shino his life but it could have and he ignores that for his own goals.

-> early on is mildly obssessed with finding the divervent point of import thinking if he can solve The Problem he'll fade into an epilogue or something. Is in Denial.

-> connecting events in his present with his past unlocks memories of both Tobio's life and his own. Facing his own death is the only way for him to Understand.

[penitenteyeball]

Dum de dum dum

Gonna add max tags and max characters to each cause who cares

[deva-arts]

☆ Nathaniel Wilson ☆

I Really Like Nathaniel because the guy embodies Hope and Positivity without forcing it down the gullets of everyone around him.

He looks like he'd be a pleasant individual to actually be around at 7 am. Even before his coffee. [ Sera should be too, she doesn't seem like an unbearable person to be around in La Matinée ( the Morning ) . But still, she is alot grumpier than her other half. ]

With that said. Insert Happy music here. Nujabes or Smth.

Submitted by @mettamorphoses!

Love the way you drew Nate here! such a clean style and serious face :> He's my favorite little quadfocal guy... friendly, polite, and a good conversationalist! You're absolutely right, he's one of the easiest people to get along with. It's almost like he knows exactly what to say to people.

Sera isn't grumpy so much as she is disinterested and dismissive. She heads to work without bothering to make small talk besides a basic "Hello." if she passes you by. Not the worst outcome, really, if silence doesn't bother you.

[sludgeguzzler]

the yaoi is so palpable in this fandom and it fills me with grief everytime i notice it

[slimyenemy]

boring awful and depressing is just everything the whole cult does in fact. and then gets mad gets into your head of all things and hurts you when you show care and try to resolve things in any way that isn't just joining them in this and pretty much killing yourself. stupid black hole.

[geneviveleocardius]

crying over movies

and pregnant with simon riley’s baby

the sound of your sobs cuts through the quiet of the house, sharp and raw. simon drops the knife he’s been using to chop vegetables, his heart lurching in his chest. it’s not unusual for you to cry these days—pregnancy hormones have been working overtime—but this… this is different. this is gut-wrenching, the kind of crying that makes his pulse race with worry.

he rushes into the living room, where he left you curled up on the couch watching after sun. the sight that greets him stops him in his tracks. you’re a mess, your face red and blotchy, tears streaming down your cheeks, big eyes wide and glassy as you clutch a pillow like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality.

“love?” his voice is low, calm despite the panic clawing at his chest. he crouches in front of you, his hands reaching out to cradle your face. “what’s wrong? is it the baby? are you in pain?”

you shake your head frantically, your sobs hitching as you try to speak. “n-no, it’s not—” a deep breath, and then another sob escapes. “it’s not the baby. it’s—oh my god, simon, it’s just—”

he watches you, his brows furrowed, utterly baffled. “just what?”

“the movie!” you wail, throwing your arms up dramatically. “it was so sad, simon! and—and then i started thinking about us and the baby and—and—oh my god, you’re never gonna be a single parent, okay? i’m never leaving you!”

his eyes widen at the declaration, and he blinks, stunned. “what tha—?”

“and you have to promise me, simon,” you cut him off, your voice shaky but insistent. “if something’s ever bothering you, you’re gonna tell me, right? we’re a team, and i love you so damn much, okay? you can’t ever leave me, because i’d just—” a hiccup. “i’d die without you!”

he stares at you, his lips parted slightly, trying to process the flood of emotions pouring out of you. he’s used to your mood swings by now—the tears over burnt toast, the laughter that turned into crying because of a stupid dog video—but this? this is a whole new level.

you’re still sobbing, your breaths coming in hiccupping gasps, and his heart aches in a way he doesn’t quite understand. “love, you’re gonna hyperventilate,” he mutters, sitting beside you and pulling you into his arms. you melt into him instantly, your hands clutching at his shirt as you bury your face against his chest.

“i mean it, simon,” you mumble, your voice muffled by his shirt. “i’ll never leave you. you’re stuck with me forever.”

he lets out a low chuckle, the sound rumbling through his chest. “bloody hell, i should hope so. wouldn’t have married you otherwise, yeah?”

“and the baby,” you continue, ignoring his attempt to lighten the mood. “we’re gonna be the best parents, and—and if you ever think i’m not doing enough, you have to tell me, okay? i’ll do better. i swear.”

“sweetheart,” he says softly, leaning back so he can tilt your face up to look at him. your tear-streaked cheeks and swollen eyes might look like a disaster to anyone else, but to him, you’re still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “you’re more than enough. you’re everything. and you’re not going anywhere, yeah? we’re fine. we’re better than fine.”

your lower lip trembles, and more tears spill over. “i just—i love you so damn much, simon. you can’t ever leave me. promise me.”

he exhales, a soft huff of disbelief, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “you’re unbelievable, you know that?” he mutters against your skin. “but alright. i promise. i’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. happy?”

you nod, sniffling, and wrap your arms tighter around him. “so happy.”

he holds you close, his large hands rubbing slow circles on your back as your sobs gradually quiet into soft hiccups. he’s still not entirely sure how you got from a movie to this existential meltdown, but one thing’s for sure: he wouldn’t trade this chaotic, hormonal, beautiful mess for anything.

[boowritess]

simon 'ghost' riley who says you guys can't be in a relationship because he's emotionally unavailable.

simon 'ghost' riley who doesn't stay the night because he's afraid you'll get too attached.

simon 'ghost' riley who tells you he's just using you for your body. that's it.

simon 'ghost' riley who says you're nothing too him but a toy.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he's too cold hearted for you.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he's too old for you.

simon 'ghost' riley who claims he's just a shell of a man.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he'll ruin you.

simon 'ghost' riley who says you're too sweet for him.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he'll hurt you.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he's too dark and demented for you.

simon 'ghost' riley who says he's too broken to be in a relationship with you.

...

simon 'ghost' riley the fucking liar

...

simon 'ghost' riley who was pussywhipped the first night with you.

simon 'ghost' riley constantly messaging you when he's deployed. 'good mornings' and 'good nights' every day without fail.

simon 'ghost' riley who was gentle the first night together.

simon 'ghost' riley who spends most of the night cuddling and soothing you.

simon 'ghost' riley who barely even has sex with you most nights, preferring to just being in your presence, existing.

simon 'ghost' riley who goes straight to your home after deployment and falls asleep on your couch.

simon 'ghost' riley who treats your body like a temple - always putting your pleasure before his.

simon 'ghost' riley who indulges in whatever your interests are. even if he's deployed. that singer you like? got tickets for you and a friend. favourite food? there's an uber order on the way. you said you like those shoes? it's at your front door. that book you're currently obsessed with? bought the rest of the serious and the limited edition hardcovers. tattoo you want? money sent.

simon 'ghost' riley who makes sure you're eating and drinking right.

simon 'ghost' riley who remembers the tiniest details you've told him. so he makes sure you're taking necessary medication at the right time. reminds you of appointments.

simon 'ghost' riley who couldn't sleep after your first argument.

simon 'ghost' riley who was destroyed when he saw you cry.

simon 'ghost' riley who admitted that he was in the wrong.

simon 'ghost' riley who apologized first.

simon 'ghost' riley who's nothing but sweet to you.

simon 'ghost' riley who never left your side when you got sick and tended to every little thing you needed.

simon 'ghost' riley who drives you wherever.

simon 'ghost' riley who does the laundry because you hate it.

simon 'ghost' riley that can't stop holding your hand.

simon 'ghost' riley who prefers being with you than anyone else.

simon 'ghost' riley who realizes he couldn't live without you.

simon 'ghost' riley who said i love you first.

a/n: ew this was so sappy. i just wanted to call him out for being a liar lol.

[saturdaymournings]

Fuck EVERYONE who ever taught me to hate myself. I was never like this before and I never deserved to feel this way about myself. The hardest part of this is the fact that I know it’s just been instilled in me! I could have been different. Fuck, I was different! I was happy to just exist as myself. I didn’t care what other people thought. Now I’m just like you. Fuck you for taking that away from me