#been trying to write this up for awhile
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Steve and Eddie are sharing a joint, sitting in Steve's car. They're just talking about random shit, when Steve goes to apply chapstick. And that made him think about lipstick.
Steve likes lipstick. He voices this opinion. Likes the pop of color that draws the eyes. Likes how it emphasizes lips, makes them look even more kissable. Likes the marks they leave on the skin when kissing. It gets him all hot just thinking about the trail leading down and down-
And Eddie. Eddie just shrugs and returns to puffing on the joint they are sharing. Says he's never experienced it. Which, Steve thinks is criminal. Sure, Eddie is gay and it's the 1980s, but lipstick is just makeup and anyone should be able to wear makeup. I mean, Steve isn't shy to wearing lip gloss not that he advertises it.
So, Steve digs around his car, finds the lipstick that Robin left. He applies a thick layer to his lips, smacking them a few times. "I'll prove it, come here," Steve says leaning into Eddie's space.
And Eddie is wide eyed but agrees.
One kiss leads to two. Which leads to Steve pressing open mouthed kisses into Eddie's neck. Eddie moans and Steve whispers in his ear," I've wanted to do this for awhile,, you're so hot." Which leads to Eddie's shirt coming off. Leads to red lipstick trailing down Eddie's chest and down and down and
Yeah, Steve was right. Lipstick is hot.
#Steve is so smug about proving his point AND kissing Eddie meanwhile Eddie's brain is like leaking out of his ears#Steve has been trying to drop hints for months and Eddie has been oblivious#Eddie is going to go home and think Man Steve Really Likes Lipstick Ha Ha and meanwhile Steve is thinking Wow we kissed we're gonna date no#It clicks for Eddie a few days later and Eddie shows up at Steve's and is like “wait you said you've wanted to do that for awhile”#I could write more but my head is pounding and my cold medicine is kicking in and sleep is taking over#Steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson/steve harrington#Eddie Munson x Steve harrington#steve harrington/eddie munson#Jade is Talking
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Last Line Game
thank you @arviyya for tagging me! i'm excited for your secret project! 💜
this is the last line i wrote for a jegulus bingo fic with the prompt ‘love at first fuck’:
“Do we want to be coy about this or do you just want to come up?” “I just want to come up.”
np tags (i think i’m late to the game…. i'm sorry if you’ve already been tagged) @snarky-magpie, @ecstarry, @samynnad102687, @courfee, @calamitoustide, @under-pink-skys and anyone else who want to play!!
#tag game#last line game#untitled fic for jegulus bingo#this is the last line before they go up to james’ flat#then there’s supposed to be smut#i can’t write smut#so this has been the last line of this fic for awhile#i can see it in my head#i just don’t know how to get it on paper#i'm trying though#maybe i'll be able to finish this fic before the bingo deadline?#jegulus#regulus black#james potter
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// personal
how strange it is to observe yourself changing
#not snz#delete later#another suddencolds yap post 😭 i apologize#i have been trying to draft a post like this for awhile now... i suppose this is a subset of the many thoughts i've had lately#this year has been so strange??! i joked in january about taking a leave to metamorphose into someone more tolerable but#honestly i am not sure if i am more tolerable now... though i do feel like i've changed. :')#for the better? for the worse? unsure... i feel like i am finding out more and more that#my social battery is unfortunately finite 😭 and that i must be more selective in how i choose to spend my time 🙇♀️#i think all throughout uni the majority of my substantial social interactions happened#over text/online? irl i made a lot of acquaintances via classes and student organizations... but the number of#close friends i had and actively met up with irl was pretty low 😭 and that embarrassed me!! like#how can one 🫵🏼 be surrounded by so many smart people her age and come away with so few in-person friends?? ☹️ skill issue truly!!! 🙄👎#even now i sometimes feel like the need to defend myself from that uncharitable perception of me? as though the idea that#there is/was something wrong with me is something i need to actively disprove 🥲#taken objectively i feel like i'm doing okay socially 😭 i have a decent handful of irl friends that#i meet with pretty regularly and people do seek out my company... but there's this feeling at the back of my mind that#no one will believe me when i say it. perhaps because i am so deeply used to seeing myself as undesirable :')#(^ i think this was all more painful than i am getting across in writing and i am summarizing it all from a point of relative detachment 😶)#but anyways! i am older now and it feels like things are shifting... or that i'm being forced to acknowledge that i have limits socially#in terms of energy rather than capability. which is new :') and i've also been thinking about the feeling of closeness (or lack thereof)#that i feel when it comes to the various friendships in my life. i think i am really fully vulnerable like#kind of seldom actually... but on the rare occasion that i feel sufficiently attached i worry i come across as a little intense 😭#(if i have embarrassed myself in front of you i am very sorry 😭😭 i'm still figuring things out)#(not sure if anyone is still reading this but) these tags are getting long enough 🏃♀️
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Hello, if it's not too close to the deadline, I wished to propose "Roads Untraveled" as a prompt 🫡
10/12/2024 (definitely not the 26th oops, meri kirihemite for the future and past?)
warnings for injury, trauma and grief.
“Adric can pilot the TARDIS,” his voice was firm beside Tegan, and she whirled around the best she could, the metal hand around her arm jarring it into a burning agony she ignored.
“Adric will be better, I insist. I’ll stay.”
“Doc,” she protested, but he threw her a glance so frightening she fell quiet. The Doctor stepped forward, away from the Cybermen, and grabbed hold of Adric, pushing him back towards Tegan.
“But Doctor, I-”
“Yes, he can.”
The Cybermen looked between them both, the background noise of gears picking up their pace and they considered. The Doctor stood by the pilot console, made smaller by the loneliness of the position.
“Very well,” they allowed, and Adric and Tegan struggled as they were pulled away, but the mechanical strength was beyond them. Their last view of the Doctor was at a distance, his head bowed and hand lax on the controls.
—-
Adric can. He dematerialises the TARDIS and whether it is from luck or the TARDIS acting on her own accord, but Tegan screams at him all the same. They can’t just leave the Doctor behind, they can’t. But as the ship flickers in and out of time, she knows there isn’t anything they can do. There is a low groaning in the Cyberman’s chest, and she thinks it’s laughter before it starts issuing orders on where and when the TARDIS must be piloted. But Adric’s hand comes around from behind it, a battered and much abused badge of mathematical excellence in it. He’s too short to reach though, and it’s Tegan who lunges forward, pushes it up those few more inches and grinds it into its front until it screeches mechanically, choking and oily smoke pouring from its chest unit.
—-
—-
The dust is so dense they choke as they leave the TARDIS. There is no light, no way to see where the freighter had crashed, and they want to believe the Doctor is alive, but the TARDIS is groaning, not the normal grate of its dematerialisation, almost a keening cry. Adric asks if it’s broken, but privately Tegan thinks it is crying, grieving the Doctor.
All the words he had spoken had become important. It had been such a short time they had known him, but had shaped them more than anything in their lives. A well prepared meal, and they try, try to appreciate those small moments, but none of them are exactly cooks. Two of them couldn’t even find the ingredients of their homes, destroyed or inaccessible. And as Tegan tried to compare what she could name of Earth vegetables to what Nyssa described of Traken food and Adric pointed out things they could have got from Alzarius, and no one pointed out they couldn’t get there.
The meal was disgusting, and Tegan didn’t even know how Nyssa had done that to innocent earth vegetables, but they laugh, and she can’t stop when Nyssa joins in. Adric happily eats his plate, and asks if they’re going to finish theirs or just be silly.
—--
Tegan takes to talking to the TARDIS. All the exhaustions and frustrations and fears she can’t share with the others, because they need to be cohesive. She tells the TARDIS one night, deep in a bottle of something that had unearthed from a glass cabinet in the Doctor’s room, that Adric and Nyssa are a heart each. One for science, one for maths, and they were trying their best to be the Doctor. There is a clumsy brush across her mind, painful before it becomes familiar, and the TARDIS is old too now without him, more erratic, rooms no longer all there - awkward angles and potholed floors. She doesn’t know how long they can keep doing this, cannot even trust the time of her own body - either her body doesn’t know which way is up or down anymore, or the constant never ending stress has stopped her periods, seemingly for good. She rather appreciates that side-effect actually, but carefully doesn’t think about what it means for her health. Not that, between the aliens and the robots and the revolutions they stumble into does she expect to have to think too long term.
—-
Adric’s hair had turned to a shock of white several years (?) ago, and neither of them knew why. It had stolen his voice with it, dark eyes and unfathomable beneath the long snowy fringe.
—-
Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, and sometimes it is an inevitability, a landslide of events that started far earlier than they had materialised. There is science and maths and humanity, and they are doing their best.
Tegan loses part of her finger. A door closes too quickly, sliding free at least as she tries to block off the mutated plant from growing out through the door from the next room with a creaking speed, and suddenly there is one less knuckle and she’s too shocked to even scream. She loses her top too that day, wrapped around her finger and too bloody to ever wash out.
—-
They manage. Adric keeps a notebook, writing down his equations so quickly that they sometimes smear across the page. Lines mark his face now, creases between his brows and grooves leading down from his snub nose, the rest of him learning to match his white hair.
They all move a little slower now. Tegan has changed to flat shoes and even in them she’s not quick enough to get to Nyssa. Can only try and contain the blood at the source, the raw flesh that is now her shoulder. She knows they win the day in terms of the planet and population, but their little group is lopsided now.
—--
She’s on her last legs. There are only emergency lights in the TARDIS now, and the console has lost any responsiveness to Adric’s coaxing. The rooms are stable, for now, but there are so few of them that they’ve started tripping over themselves. Tegan doesn’t know when the air will turn off, thinks the TARDIS is trying to hold onto that for last, and she keeps her hand, battered and clumsy with past damages, on the wall wherever she walks, the closest thing she can do to holding it’s hand in it’s dying moments.
When the lights finally go out, she gathers the other two into her arms, tells them of the good they have done. Hears her voice crack not only with age, but with grief for who they all could have been, once upon a time.
—--
There is light, there are strange men and women in high collars who ask them where the Doctor is. They are the Doctor, they tell him, and there is talk of regeneration trauma, or chameleon arcs and single hearts. And then, one reaches out, disgust on their face, to touch Tegan’s forehead and he’s there, the Doctor, his arm around her and the voice she had forgotten arguing the importance of small beautiful events. The sadness in his face when he wished Adric and herself good luck. And she’s gasping, great hiccoughing sobs that bring her to her knees. The Time Lords, and she knows now beyond doubt that they’re the Doctor’s people, have walked away, have categorised them as unimportant. They need the Doctor, not a ragtag group of aliens masquerading under his name. But they’re alive, and he is not. Tegan brings herself under control, only small sobs shaking her frame as she struggles back to her feet, Adric lending her his hands. The Time Lords have a screen up, and the three of them gather around, the scene aching familiar even from this strange perspective. Had they really ever been so young as they were here? Their faces so smooth, their bodies still whole.
Both Nyssa and Tegan step forward, volunteer themselves without a thought, but the Time Lord’s eyes slip past them. Their eyes a dark and heavy weight on Adric. Tegan and Nyssa turn, and Tegan knows that look, that sadness and inevitability. Had seen it so many years ago on a freighter careening through space. They argue, of course, Tegan and Nyssa with the Time Lords, but there were timelines, things that will happen in their futures. Things that will not happen to Adric. They throw around the term aberration, and Tegan bares her teeth at the cruelty. But they can see it in Adric’s face, see he already knows.
The Time Lords can pluck him out, and why didn’t they do that the first time, Tegan wants to scream. There are conditions, they say, their faces grave. They need the Doctor, universe ending and timeline risking dilemmas, and he is their last resort to solve them. But the freighter crashing into Earth, that is an event that must happen. The spiralling situation of humanity in the timeline must happen. And the freighter needs that payload, that complex blend of amino acids and metals and everything that leads to the human race on Earth.
There is a flurry of activity around them, sombre and controlled even in this, and time stretches, flexes, and snaps.
—---
They’re on the freighter, and Adric looks so small next to the pilot’s console, but smiles bravely at them. Tegan struggles as the Cybermen drag them away, but the Doctor’s face is stoic. Time stretches, flexes, and snaps. The freighter crashes into Earth, and the TARDIS keens, mourns a timeline that had happened and not happened.
#advent fic#fic#adric#tegan#nyssa#tbf i have had this in my notebook for awhile just never a moment to type it up. i'm not happy with it still but there just hasn't been tim#and i'm still trying to write fics so may be posting them well into january oops#this is the longest though. over 1500 words >> for a prompt >>#just hasn't been time oops. not tim. my brother tim was in fact down for christmas. so there was tim.
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Colleague called me a Luddite today because I wrote the abstract for a book chapter submission by hand without using ChatGPT
#I just sort of let him talk about AI for awhile and why he thinks it's the future of academia#He ended up saying it's because he wants to keep working at uni but he has no publications#And get this: doesn't like writing. So.#I guess of course AI seems like the holy grail for people who don't know how to write#Like it just really struck me that the root of his AI obsession is insecurity#He even made a joke that I'm skipping journals and going straight to book chapters#I guess since it's my first year?#And he's been there 3 years and has no publications. Same with the other guy in our conversation#But it's like. Idk. I like trying new things. I never said it was a GOOD abstract and I don't know if it'll be accepted#But at least I'm trying. With my own words.#Personal#I *like* writing things with my own words. It makes me feel powerful#I don't want to use AI to produce 100 papers about the same batch of research (his fantasy)#I want a handful of papers which I can be proud to say I wrote myself#And most of all? I want to enjoy my work. I enjoy my research#I don't want my job to become an internet content mill#So I'll probably remain a Luddite
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Kinda just want to do a fancomic now about CoralBob instead of the fic.
#the thing about comics is that once I draw out something I can easily think of the next drawing#unlike writing were I’m constantly worried about misspelling or grammar and all that junk#and setting a scene through words#and it’s the constant rewriting that messes me up the most#and I know I need to wrap up my scratchyenne comic but my SB story I been working on for years#like I’m not sure if I’ll make it fully colored or monochromatic sketches type of comic#but DAMN I been thinking about this for awhile now because Coraline is the closest to who I am irl personally wise#and her story means a lot to me#so I’m just trying to decide#because I sorta did an little fancomic of them meeting in the past but I might redo it or scrap it#💬 chy chatter 💬
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Oddly, I've seen EPIC: The Musical brought up a lot in crk x reader stuff, which I love, but specifically people bring up The Challenge a lot, and I feel like people who only know about the Odyssey through EPIC are missing some important context.
See, Odysseus's bow wasn't just any bow. It had insane draw strength (The amount of force that will go into an arrow when you pull back the string and fire), which meant that stringing it took a lot of strength. Strength only Odysseus or a comparable Greek hero would've had. Since the story's a metaphor, none of the suitors are greek heroes of comparable strength (as the suitors are the bad guys of the myth), meaning that stringing the bow itself is impossible for all of the suitors, flat out. Since none of them have the strength the string the bow in the first place, none of them even get to try to do the second part; shoot through twelve axes clean- but it being clean is also an important part. Its not that they are to shoot through holes in the axe head's side like many think, but is explicitly the handle holes which are used to attach the axe head to a handle, which requires incredible precision to do. Again, this is something that is supposed to be impossible for anyone but Odysseus to do- Odysseus is the only person who ever has done it. The only person who is able to do it is the REAL Odysseus in disguise, after which he reveals himself and promptly murders all of the suitors for planning to murder Telemachus, among other things.
Point being? If you want to write a story about a 'The Challenge' type scenario, but characters other than the reader's love are capable of doing it, while you've technically written the same thing, you've missed the actual intent of the story. For example, if you wanted to make a 'The Challenge' type story for Hollyberry x reader, the challenge could be something about defeating Pitaya Dragon and bringing back say, a scale or something, since Hollyberry is pretty known as the one person who's managed to beat Pitaya Dragon. Arguable, any cookie of comparable strength should be able to do that, but the spirit of the story is that even if others exist that could, they don't participate, because the narrative is trying to represent Penelope's loyalty to her husband; Actually, in the original book, Odysseus has already arrived home but is disguised, and it seems that the challenge is just Penelope's way of identifying the disguised Odysseus as being Odysseus. See, he's disguised as a beggar who appears to Penelope and promises to her that Odysseus will return by the next new moon, and he says a bunch of thing that proves he knows Odysseus, but Penelope also says things that implies she's suspicious that the beggar is Odysseus- which she's correct about. So this isn't just a show of loyalty, its a show of loyalty directly to Odysseus, who she knows is there, and hopes presents himself to win the challenge, and prove his own loyalty in turn. So, sure, maybe in the Hollyberry scenario i proposed someone like Dark Cacao is strong enough to also beat that challenge- but would Dark Cacao try to steal a close friend's partner, even if he believed her to be dead? Is that the way you want to characterize him? Perhaps a fitting characterization for one of the Beast cookies, but then you're indulging in a different type of story; Which is fine, good even, but not the actual thematic point of 'The Challenge.'
#not writing#✧ bite your tongue ✧#This isn't criticism of anyone's writing its just a little literary analysis! That said its been awhile since I've read the Odyssey#so my memory of the exacts are quite fuzzy.#I adore greek mythology (and EPIC!) so seeing it brought up is always of interest to me#Perhaps I'll try my hand at doing a 'The Challenge' type story for the ancients (and/or beasts) later.
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[What Could Have Been]
After the unfortunate reveal of what kind of person Wilbursoot was, I was unsure whether or not to post this, but I've decided to. Here is my outline for the beginning of a fanfic I was writing...
Note: Everything under the cut was written before Wilbur was exposed for being an abuser, as well as some of the tags
A Modern-Vampire!AU involving SBI and a few other people.
Techno is an aspiring writer that recently moved into a very... low quality aparment. He's taken note of the number of bats that fly around the neighborhood and has developed a habit many people in his apartment complex have; feeding fruit to the bats that hang out around his place.
The place is pretty chill. Techno works at this nice Café. (Whether it's Niki's or not is up to you.) He's developed a small rivalry with this random kid who pesters him for food all the time. Techno usually shares his lunch with the kid. (Techno admits the kid is pretty cute with his squid themed. backpack and hoodie)
Anyway, Techno is doing well, he's adjusting to the neighborhood, his boss is pretty nice, and he even has the free time to write his second novel now.
Time passes and Techno has fully adjusted to the place, getting comfortable until... Tommy shows up! Tommy is a fledgling vampire who recently was given the freedom of going out. (As long as one of the other coven members are with him.)
One day while out, Tommy gets distracted and wanders off, loseing his caretaker of the night. This leads to Tommy getting lost and ariving at an old apartment complex. The place has bat boxes and Tommy prepares to spend the day in one to hide from the sun.
While trying to hide from the sun in his bat form, Tommy finds this weird guy with shitty pink hair who's been trying to lure him inside with grapes. (Techno sees a small pup without it's mother desperately hiding in his very old and falling apart bat box.)
Eventually Techno gets the pup inside, wrapping him up in a soft baby blanket and putting him in a shoe box with a warming pad.
Tommy is scared and confused by the actions of this random human... but he quite likes the warm box he's been put in... it's not his fault if he fell asleep!
Across the city is a frantic Wilbur trying to find his missing brother who disappeared after he looked away for a second! Okay, maybe he was staring at that pretty human running the nearby record store but Tommy had been right there beside him!
Wilbur and the rest of the coven desperately searches for Tommy before being forced to take refuge from the sun indoors.
I'm unsure of what happens next but Tommy eventually makes his way back and is promptly grounded and forced to stay indoors. The only problem is that... Tommy has imprinted on Techno during his time with him and begins sneaking out to hang out with Techno. (Techno is relieved that the little bat he helped was doing well!)
#technoblade#bedrock bros#sbi#sbi fanfic#vampire au#modern au#wilbur is a worried older brother#techno just wants to write his book and vibe with the little bat that keeps showing up on his balcony#tommy 'run away from home to eat fruit with weird man' innit#phil is a old man who cant handle the stress of his kids going missing#kristin absolutely knows where tommy is going and fins it amusing after awhile#if she even exists#squid kid is a gremlin that always eats techno's potato wedges.#philza#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#i actually like this#i may or may not write a fanfic for this au#what could have been#i might still try writing this#i had chapter one half way complete#correction: wilbur *was* a worried older brother#i could try replacing wilbur with someone#like tubbo#or ranboo#I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH SQUIDKID AND TECHNO#THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BROTHERS#squid kid : turned into literal child
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.
#whenever I scroll through like Twitter or Bluesky or tumblr I see a lot of people making stuff with their oc#or like yume stuff with their fave characters and it makes me go like ''oh I'd love to do that too''#but then I remember that Gilgamesh would never like look towards me because I visually don't appeal to his tastes#nor my like character wouldn't pick up his interest because I'm a boring loser and a coward and sometimes it really puts me down#and yeah I know it's stupid but I just can't help myself😅#and I know that some of you might come to me and say words of support and I would appreciate them#but I'm writing this not to pity party myself but to just lift this weight out of my chest#and I have a friend of mine and we know each other since the childhood like we went to the same kindergarten#and I remember her always being determined and ahe always stood up for herself and was never afraid to voice her opinions#and I always admired her for that because because I always stayed quiet during the arguments or try to avoid them completely#or whenever someone was bullying me I always just burst into tears and just ran away#and I sometimes hate myself for being weak but I just can't do anything about it#and recently this friend she went into military and even though I worry about her and support her#I just can't help myself and not feel envious (in a good way) because of her bravery and determination to make that choice#and just throw her into this challenge despite all of her worries doubts and consequences that she might face#like I can't even call a dentist to make an appointment without being anxious#while she's ready to throw herself into the pits of hell despite fear and everything#like my friend is like that perfect image of a person that Gilgamesh would look upon with admiration and some respect#and I wish I could be like that too#I wish I could be the person which Gil would praise rather than look upon like on a piece of trash...#anyway sorry for ranting and thank you for reading if you did#these thoughts have been eating me for quite awhile and I wanted to voice them at least somewhere#personal
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no, no, because imagine. we get a shot of eddie looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. he touches his mustache and sighs. the next shot is someone knocking on the door of the loft. buck opens it, and it's eddie on the other side, freshly shaven and finally ready to acknowledge what buck means to him
#im so ready for eddies arc in season 8#we get the mustache (for awhile)#we get the hot priest back#we get eddie diaz in church#eddie girlies we are winning so hard this season#anyway lemme write my fanfiction in the rest of these tags#buck is like. oh hey---you shaved??#yeah. it uh was time for it to go.#buck gets them beers because ofc he does. i thought it was a yk sign of change. an eddie 2.0 kind of thing?#uh more just. idk trying it out. figuring things out. uh like a transition period i guess. that was eddie 1.5 and uh now im eddie 2.0?#and then buck watches eddie suck down like half of beer and he just looks at him with that look that always makes eddie tell him everything#and eddie says. how did you know? like how were you sure that you liked guys?#uh. i didnt? not consciously anyway. i didnt really know until tommy kissed me and then it all just kinda made sense...#right. right. so it was just always there? the uh attraction to men?#yeah. idk i thought everyone thought men were just as hot as women. i never really thought about dating men until yk i was dating one#cool. cool. and maybe eddie changes the subject. lets buck ramble his ear off for awhile before they clean up their empty bottles#and eddie catches bucks arm and looks at him and buck says. what?#kiss me#what?? eddie what?#i need to---ive been figuring things out and i need it to be you#me? why me?#cuz. cuz youre the only one i trust. the only one i want to trust. i want it to be you. i need it to be you cuz its you buck its always you#anyway buddie canon season 8#me thinks
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We would love to hear you sing a song...maybe singing even a sad song would help lighten your load a little, and we would be blessed with your angelic voice...please.
🥺
#again this was a few days ago#but uhm#🥺🥺🥺🥺#do you guys actually like hearing me sing? 👉👈#idk I never wanna be that one stereotypical singer who never fucking shuts up and sings all the time#but I’m trying to get more comfortable with my voice#and also not caring what other people think#the hard part about singing in my car is I have to do a song I know by heart#cause I’m using my phone as a voice recorder I can’t look up lyrics too ya know#unless I plan ahead and like print out/write the lyrics before#but man that’s a lot of work#when I wanna sing I wanna sing#I don’t wanna do all this work to be able to sing ya know#idk sounds weird when I try to explain it#I know I mentioned this awhile ago but I’ve been thinking about making a TikTok of me singing#but I also like audios cause they are so much easier than videos#I don’t have to look presentable for an audio#I just have to sound good#idk idk idk#I always feel dumb when I talk about me singing#cause then I really think about it and I’m like lol no one wants to actually listen to me sing#I should just stick to singing in the car and the shower where no one can hear me#but you are right#singing a sad song might help lighten the load just a little bit#I’ll try tomorrow 💖#ask#anon
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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Whenever I actually sit down and start posting the next gen series, one of the things that I really wanna do is kind of... incorporate reader's choices into it? Not in big ways bc my plan is to write like a full season before I start posting episodes and that can affect it, but like. smaller beats.
One example is that I have an episode idea where there's a big emotional thing for three different characters and our resident empath has a discussion with each of them, but it's reader choice which scene we see. Another one is an episode where it's reader's choice for who gets hit with some kind of emotional puncture and just spews emotions everywhere. It'd be mostly character and relationship scenes for arcs that are already happening, but readers would have the chance to see their favorite or the one that they're most curious about up close on "screen." Not for every episode, but like. maybe once or twice a season or something. Idk, thought it might be interesting.
#abi speaks#next gen fanfic series#this is an idea that i would absolutely love to do but we'll see what happens when i actually get to the point of posting these episodes#which will not be for awhile bc like i said i'm wanting to write the whole season first#and rn i'm still trying to get a better grasp of some of the more extended next gen characters#bc i got about half of them down really well but i need to really figure out two of paige's kids more#and also give some more depth to some more of the cast such as mel and parker and sebastian#bc their character is kind of... not shallow but its more like this is their core personality but what do they do#what do they do for fun? what do their lives look like? which is a little harder rn bc with so many characters#im trying v hard to not end up with a lot of repeating y know? but i mean#i might repeat a few things now that i think about it#bc like for example. my sister and i are v different but we actually are in... fields that are adjacent to one another if not the same#despite vastly differently career goals work experience and college choices#but it's still a process#one that i haven't really been indulging as much as i'd like recently#bc i'm kind of in a slump atm but i think it might be nice to just sit down and work on each character one at a time#and kind of connect them to their friends and family and build them out as if they were the only main#instead of one of. eleven or twelve depending on if we're counting bianca#(i did in fact look at the nine canonical kids and then fucking add in dj morris and the half manticore sebastian bc why not i guess#bc that's too many characters that's why but it was done a decade ago so we're stuck with it. i say with love#i adore dj and sebastian the bestest friends anyone could want but it does make it even more character loaded lmao)
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CoPilot in MS Word
I opened Word yesterday to discover that it now contains CoPilot. It follows you as you type and if you have a personal Microsoft 365 account, you can't turn it off. You will be given 60 AI credits per month and you can't opt out of it.
The only way to banish it is to revert to an earlier version of Office. There is lot of conflicting information and overly complex guides out there, so I thought I'd share the simplest way I found.
How to revert back to an old version of Office that does not have CoPilot
This is fairly simple, thankfully, presuming everything is in the default locations. If not you'll need to adjust the below for where you have things saved.
Click the Windows Button and S to bring up the search box, then type cmd. It will bring up the command prompt as an option. Run it as an administrator.
Paste this into the box at the cursor: cd "\Program Files\Common Files\microsoft shared\ClickToRun"
Hit Enter
Then paste this into the box at the cursor: officec2rclient.exe /update user updatetoversion=16.0.17726.20160
Hit enter and wait while it downloads and installs.
VERY IMPORTANT. Once it's done, open Word, go to File, Account (bottom left), and you'll see a box on the right that says Microsoft 365 updates. Click the box and change the drop down to Disable Updates.
This will roll you back to build 17726.20160, from July 2024, which does not have CoPilot, and prevent it from being installed.
If you want a different build, you can see them all listed here. You will need to change the 17726.20160 at step 4 to whatever build number you want.
This is not a perfect fix, because while it removes CoPilot, it also stops you receiving security updates and bug fixes.
Switching from Office to LibreOffice
At this point, I'm giving up on Microsoft Office/Word. After trying a few different options, I've switched to LibreOffice.
You can download it here for free: https://www.libreoffice.org/
If you like the look of Word, these tutorials show you how to get that look:
www.howtogeek.com/788591/how-to-make-libreoffice-look-like-microsoft-office/
www.debugpoint.com/libreoffice-like-microsoft-office/
If you've been using Word for awhile, chances are you have a significant custom dictionary. You can add it to LibreOffice following these steps.
First, get your dictionary from Microsoft
Go to Manage your Microsoft 365 account: account.microsoft.com.
One you're logged in, scroll down to Privacy, click it and go to the Privacy dashboard.
Scroll down to Spelling and Text. Click into it and scroll past all the words to download your custom dictionary. It will save it as a CSV file.
Open the file you just downloaded and copy the words.
Open Notepad and paste in the words. Save it as a text file and give it a meaningful name (I went with FromWord).
Next, add it to LibreOffice
Open LibreOffice.
Go to Tools in the menu bar, then Options. It will open a new window.
Find Languages and Locales in the left menu, click it, then click on Writing aids.
You'll see User-defined dictionaries. Click New to the right of the box and give it a meaningful name (mine is FromWord).
Hit Apply, then Okay, then exit LibreOffice.
Open Windows Explorer and go to C:\Users\[YourUserName]\AppData\Roaming\LibreOffice\4\user\wordbook and you will see the new dictionary you created. (If you can't see the AppData folder, you will need to show hidden files by ticking the box in the View menu.)
Open it in Notepad by right clicking and choosing 'open with', then pick Notepad from the options.
Open the text file you created at step 5 in 'get your dictionary from Microsoft', copy the words and paste them into your new custom dictionary UNDER the dotted line.
Save and close.
Reopen LibreOffice. Go to Tools, Options, Languages and Locales, Writing aids and make sure the box next to the new dictionary is ticked.
If you use LIbreOffice on multiple machines, you'll need to do this for each machine.
Please note: this worked for me. If it doesn't work for you, check you've followed each step correctly, and try restarting your computer. If it still doesn't work, I can't provide tech support (sorry).
#fuck AI#fuck copilot#fuck Microsoft#Word#Microsoft Word#Libre Office#LibreOffice#fanfic#fic#enshittification#AI#copilot#microsoft copilot#writing#yesterday was a very frustrating day
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can you write a daeho smut where hes upset and gets hard while reader is comforting him then said reader makes him jerk off in front of her? then maybe after theres more smut with him as the sub? SORRY THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST IDK IF IM DOIGN IT RIGHT
ngl this is so creative that i’m doing it right after writing hella 😈😈 lowkey seeing the image of it 😩
Comfort took a wrong turn (i had no idea what to name this😢)
warnings: Smut, sub!dae-ho, lowkey some reason getting turned on, gentle fucking, praising
You’ve been noticing Dae-ho flinching or getting nervous every single time he hears a gunshot, you knew he was an ex marine so maybe he had trauma? your not sure.
Whenever they were gonna go shoot the guards to get to the control room , Dae-ho decided to stay back, after awhile he had heard a ton gunshots, he covered his ears, shaking in his bed
You had went up to him and crawled next to him, you looked at him in a bit of concern, “I’m sorry! i’m so sorry.. i just can’t do this! the gunshots!” he whimpered out, his hands shaking still covering his ears as he shut his hair, “it’s gonna be okay..i promise, nothing is gonna happen to you if just stay here okay?” you said hugging him
Even tho his ears were covered he can still hear you but just a bit muffled, he finally put his hands down, still shaking he slowly wrapped his hands around you as well, “Y/n..it won’t stop! im sorry.” he whispered, you stroked his hair a bit, he leaned into your touch, allowing you to stroke his hair, “Shhh.. it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay, do you trust me?” you say back to him
He looks up at you a nodded, you get a little bit closer your hands wrapped behind his neck and one hand still stroking his hair, your body was against him, he barely realized and his body begins feeling a bit hot, his cheeks were burning up as well as he looked down as your body, your boobs slightly pressed up against his shoulder
He begin feeling really hot and looks down and notices he has a bulge in his pants. He gulped as his adam’s apple bounced along his gulp, “It’s gonna be okay dae-ho, just don’t focus too much on the sounds okay? focus on me for now” you whispered as he nodded, he slightly moved you to be infront of him so kinda on his lap which you didn’t mind, you kept hugging him as he begin rubbing and down your back, he was thinking about many lewd thoughts about you. He shut his eyes as bucked his hips, you felt him did so, as you backed up a bit in confusion and looked down noticing he was hard
He quickly flushed in embarrassment and tried hiding his bulge, “i-i’m sorry! i couldn’t help it.. you were just so close to me and-“ he begin quickly explaining but you cut him off with a chuckle, “You got hard from me basically trying to comfort you?” you spoke, he nodded , “That’s..that’s kinda pathetic” you said while sitting on his lap on his bulge, he let out a whine “I-i know i’m sorry! i couldn’t help it i promise it won’t happen again!” he quickly said “Yea..make sure it doesn’t. But for now i want you to take off your pants okay?” you said rubbing his cheek as he quickly nodded
You got up sitting on his legs instead of his lap, he pushed down his pants to his knees, His boxers strained with a small wet spot, his cock slightly twitching in his wet boxers, you smirked at him, “Good boy.. now take those off as well”, he chuckled nervously at the praise but quickly listen shoving them down to his knee, his cock was spilling pre cum as the cold air that hit his cock made him shiver, “Stroke yourself for me” you said simply, he looks at you with puppy eyes, just like a puppy he quickly follows your orders
He begin stroking himself, his hands going up and down his cock, his breath hitched as he looked down at his cock than back at you, he kept going small whines falling out his mouth, you smirked at him as you bit your lip and continued watching, feeling your pussy slightly throbbing, your desire to make him moan out your name but you wanted to wait, he continued stroking himself as moans begin falling out
He went faster, his cock twitching a bit, you traveled your hands under your pants and slightly rubbed yourself at the sight of him, he made a small gasp when he saw you, he kept jerking himself off and while a loud whine he came, his cum spilling over his hand as he panted, he shut his eyes a bit before looking at you, you had took your hands out of pants, “Wow..what a performance you can put on” you said quietly, “C-can i fuck you? please? i-i wanna be inside you!” he said breathlessly, you chuckled a bit and got closer
“Are you able to handle it?” you questioned him, he quickly nodded, “Yes! yes please.. im able too!” he said looking like a puppy who’s tail is wagging, he slowly got on top of you placing you down on the bed gently
he begins taking off your pants and panties, he looks at your cunt which was soaking wet, he smiled a bit as he spread your, he then placed himself between your legs, grabbing his cock a bit and lining himself on your entrance, “Are.. are you okay with this?” he gently asked, you nodded, he then begin pushing his tip in as he moaned at the warmth feeling, he pushed in nice and slowly making sure he doesn’t hurt you, once his full length was inside you he gently asked you “Does it hurt?”, you shaked your head “No” you simply said as he nodded, “Okay ima start moving..” he said as he slowly pulled back and begin thrusting into you gently making sure not to go too rough or too fast
you moaned softly as he leaned over you, his face in your neck and his hands on each side of your head, he moved his hips nice and slowly, “Yea..just like that baby, nice and slowly” you spoke softly as he shivered, your hands went to his hair slightly gripping it as he kept pushing into you in and out, you kept moaning softly “A-am i doing good?” he questioned, “Mhm..your doing just good baby, so good, what a good boy..” you spoke softly as his cock twitched when you called him a good boy, he tried hiding his big smile against your neck as he kept thrusting into you, his cock hitting deep and into the spot that makes you cum, “Yea~ right there baby, keep going..” you moaned softly as he nodded and kept hitting that exact spot, your orgasm approached as he kept hitting your g spot, “Shit baby- i’m gonna cum~” you moaned out as he tried going a bit faster making you cum quickly, you moaned out as you cummed, a white ring line formed, he stopped and looked at you with pure love, even tho he barely knows you, you looked back at him and smiled warmly
“i-i think i’m in love with you..” he said blinking at you as you chuckled and shaked your head
#squid game#squid game smut#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#kang dae ho smut#player 388#player 388 smut#player 388 x reader
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Handprints | [3/3]
Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x pregnant wife!doctor!reader
Previous |
Summary: The birth of your first child and all the little moments that you cherish with your husband.
[ My Masterlist ]
Note: I’m honestly enjoying this Robby and Reader, so I might do something with them/inspired by them. Let’s see where season 2 takes us👀
This one got away from me, but I had a lot of fun writing it!
Word Count: 4.4k
Most of my works are 18+ due to adult language and content
Warnings: afab!reader, established relationship, pet names (my love, sweetheart), mild angst, comfort, fluff, birth scene (nondescript), postpartum, mentions of a prior panic attack, therapy, Mother’s/Father’s Day, vague smut (minors dni!!!!), Robby getting good things because he deserves it
not beta read
Langdon returned in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, rolling into the Pitt with something to prove. He wasn’t as cocky as he had been, but he threw himself headfirst into the chaos of it all — which worried you that he would only fall back into his addiction.
Michael had put strict rules in place for him after he was done rehab — random urine tests, he needed sign offs for most of the drugs he could prescribe, as well as having him attend NA meetings. You could see plainly that even if Frank succeeded in all of that, Michael would need so much time to trust him as he once had. You didn’t know what had transpired between them during that shift, not really, but Frank had let your husband down majorly.
Most in the Pitt might not have known he had been stealing the drugs from patients, or the ED, but with one glance at you and it was clear Frank knew that you knew about it. How could you not? You were Michael’s wife, his one true confidant in the mess of it all.
Frank sucked up to you, maybe thinking it would be an easier way to soften Michael’s heart to him again. Brought you a muffin from the cafeteria when he saw you hadn’t eaten, pulled a stool over to your computer so you could sit, even taking the meaner or nastier patients from your plate. All with a smile. All with a humility you hadn’t seen in awhile.
You appreciated the gestures, but it did little to help gain your trust back.
“It’ll just take time,” you said to Langdon one afternoon. “He won’t trust you again if you take the easy way out.”
He seemed to consider it. “And you? When will you trust me again?”
You turned away from the computer screen to look at him, “Pass all your drugs tests. Show me that coin you get after one year in the meetings. Don’t fuck with my patients again. Then we’re square.”
He gave a curt nod, “Okay, I can do that.”
You smiled softly at him, “I hope so, Frank.”
Due to your large bump, you were not frequently in the trauma room, not wanting to risk bumping into anything or anyone. Like usual, you stuck to triage and the non-critical patients. Michael wanted to keep your stress and adrenaline levels down, which you accepted with little pushback. He also ensured you always sat down to have lunch, even pulling himself away from the chaos long enough to eat with you when you demanded requested it.
If he was going to make sure you ate, you were going to make sure the same.
It was roughly lunchtime when the cramping started, starting as just a mild sense of discomfort before edging closer to moderate pain. Braxton Hicks contractions, you thought, seeing as you were only in your 38th week. You had been getting them periodically since starting your third trimester, but they never got any worse than mild.
Dana found you hunched over the nurses station, trying to take slow, even breaths. The cramping had gotten substantially worse, edging closer to you not being able to think properly.
“Honey?” Dana called your attention.
You took another deep breath through your nose and out through your mouth. “It’s nothing, I’m okay.”
“You and your husband, I swear to god.” She let out a long breath before raising a careful eyebrow at you, “How long has it been going on?”
You hummed, thinking, “I don’t know, noon?”
Dana grinned at you, “Looks like you’re about to have this baby, kid.”
Your eyes widened, “What? No. I still have two weeks.”
“Babies come when they’re ready, not when you are.” She chuckled.
You groaned. Adam, you really had to make an appearance now, huh? Couldn’t have waited a week and a half for when I started maternity?
You clenched your teeth, “Where’s my husband?”
“I just saw Robby head into Trauma-1.” Frank said as he passed, eyeing you warily. “You okay?”
“Baby Adam just decided he didn’t care about the plans I had, no biggie.”
“You better get used to that.” Frank said with a laugh.
You only rolled your eyes at him, trying to catch your breath after the contraction. You watched as Frank ran to grab Michael from the trauma room, and you mentioned to Dana it might be smart to call in someone to cover until the end of your shift. In one fell swoop, two ED doctors were about to be unavailable.
You tried not to feel guilty.
Michael exited Trauma-1, hiding his annoyance of being pulled away well enough, before he spotted you. His eyes flashed before he was jogging over to you, hand immediately going to your back.
“Sweetheart?” His cool mask had slipped, the one that kept everything between you two mostly professional while you were at work.
You squeezed his hand, “Adam has decided he’s ready to meet us.”
Michael’s eyes widened, gaze flickering between your belly and your face. “What?”
“Contractions edging closer to five minutes apart, for about a minute. They’ve gotten worse since noon.”
“Noon?” Michael yelled, though not at you, glancing at his watch. “It’s nearly five! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“We were busy.” You said, “I thought it was just Braxton Hicks, like it’s been all month.”
“We were busy.” Michael echoed, tone disbelieving. “You were seriously—”
You hushed your husband as another contraction hit, clutching his hand tightly.
It felt like mostly a blur after that. You had gotten up to Labor & Delivery a little bit later, and Michael called a friend of yours to go get your go bag and baby bag to bring to the hospital.
As the contractions got closer, so did your desperation.
“Why did you do this to me, again?” You panted. “Jesus Christ, just get him out of me.”
Michael grinned at you, “Last I checked, you were the one begg—”
You swatted him away like he was nothing more than an annoying fly. “Michael Robinavitch, don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
He raised his eyebrows, looking mildly amused, though he tried to contain his grin.
“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” he said a few minutes later, after another contraction, kissing your hairline.
“Trade with me?” You asked with a sly grin.
He chuckled, “I would in a heartbeat.”
You made a small noise in the back of your throat, trying to catch your breath, using the techniques you had learned in birthing classes.
“Now you say that.” You said, closing your eyes. “Wish you had said that before I went into labor.”
Michael kissed your forehead and rubbed circles onto your back. “Tell me what you need.”
You hummed, “I think I want to walk around. Might help.”
He helped you from the gurney to your feet, holding you steady. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned on him for support, swinging your hips from side-to-side. After breathing through a particularly bad contraction, Michael helped you walk back and forth across your room.
You breathed through each of them, taking them one at a time and trying not to get overwhelmed with how far you still had to go. Michael was steadfast beside you, nearly intuitively understanding what you needed when you needed it. Cold washcloth, soft caresses over your shoulders, squeezing your hips together while you leaned over the gurney, whispering encouraging words to you, or holding you close when the pain subsided.
“You’re so amazing,” he said, tone soft, standing behind you and swaying with you while you breathed in and out, arms wrapped around you. “You���re doing such a good job, sweetheart. Strongest woman I know. I love you so much.” He kissed your neck, moving to your jaw and then your cheek.
You hummed in acknowledgement, though you kept your focus on breathing through the contraction.
A few agonizingly slow hours later and you were ready to push. You felt ready to cry, clutching Michael’s hand with a grip that rivaled a vice. He soothed you, kissing your forehead.
“You’ve got this. Push when you breathe out, come on,” he encouraged.
Part of you wanted to kiss him. The other wanted to throttle him.
During the next contraction, that was what you did, breathing out as you pushed. Slow, controlled, powerful. It ripped through you and you screamed.
You had once wanted to be dignified during your labor. You worked at this hospital and these people were more-or-less your colleagues, even though you did not always work with them directly. The thought of remaining composed now made you want to laugh.
“Alright, he should be out on the next push.” your OB told you, looking over to Michael. “Would you like to do the honors, dad?”
Michael’s eyes got glassy, though he looked at you. “I’ll stay right here if you need me to.”
“It’s okay,” you breathed out, mustering a smile. “I know you want to.”
He kissed you, before moving to assist your OB with delivering your son. Thankfully, she had been right, and it only took one more push before your son was in Michael’s arms.
Adam Robinavitch was finally here.
You cooed at him softly when he was laid on your chest, though he cried loudly — clearly upset to be anywhere else but your womb. You could hardly blame him, but you felt overwhelming joy finally holding him in your arms. Tears leaked from your eyes, a warmth cascading through your insides at the sight of him, at the feeling of his tiny hand on your skin.
Michael had his hand on your head, stroking your forehead softly with his thumb. His teary eyes remained, looking between you and your son with a soft smile on his lips.
Adam gurgled on your chest, making small noises to highlight his displeasure. You kissed the top of his head before letting your head fall back onto the pillow, letting out a long sigh of exhaustion.
“I love you.” You said, blinking through your fatigue to look at your husband.
“Thank you.” He whispered back to you, big brown eyes soft and warm as he held your gaze.
You raised an eyebrow.
He smiled, kissing your forehead. “For this life. For loving me. For giving me a chance. For bringing our son into the world. I don’t know why you decided to take a chance on an old guy like me, but I’ll forever be grateful that you did.”
Tears blurred your vision and you blinked them away, “Oh, Michael. I’m so grateful it’s you. Even before I knew it, it was you. It always has been.”
He kissed you tenderly, whispering ‘always will be’ against your lips.
—
Postpartum was no joke, and add in being new to motherhood? You were in the trenches. You were thankful Michael had gotten a decent amount of time off to be in the throes of it with you, but at times, it still felt like you were drowning.
You tried not to feel guilty when you knocked out on the couch or turned in early, leaving the brunt of night shift to Michael. He was an ever faithful partner, and never even flinched when you felt he was shouldering too much of it. All he asked was that you rest, heal and spend time with Adam.
He took time in the mornings for himself, even started seeing a therapist via Zoom and you could see it helping. His shoulders seemed lighter and it created healthier habits for when he went back to working.
Michael’s first shift back did not come home with him, though you knew it was not likely to always be that way. Not when harder patients hit, or major casualties, but you hoped the things he was learning in therapy would help him whenever that day came.
You were rocking Adam back and forth, trying to get him to fall back to sleep, humming a lullaby softly. You caught movement out of the corner of your eye, and you turned your head to see Michael standing in the doorway, tired smile stretching across his lips.
“Hey, my love,” you said lowly, trying to keep your voice quiet so as to not stir your baby, who still would not fall asleep. “How was your shift?”
He gave a small shrug, “I’ve had worse.”
You raised a careful eyebrow at him, but didn’t push. “I think Adam missed his daddy.”
Michael stepped into the room, walking until he was beside you, looking at your son in your arms.
“Yeah?”
You made a small noise of agreement, moving to hand him over. As he stirred, Adam opened his eyes to look up at his father, their eyes complete mirrors of each other. It was undoubtedly one of your favorite features that he had inherited from Michael.
“I think he likes your lullaby much more than mine, actually.” You said, kissing the top of your son’s head.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s true, is it buddy? No, mommy’s lullabies are the best.”
Despite having a tough day of your own, your heart warmed. You leaned your head on Michael’s shoulder, staring down at Adam and rocking side-to-side with Michael’s movements.
Perhaps this was a healing all its own, in the quiet of your son’s room, just the three of you.
—
Mother’s Day came shortly after you got off maternity leave, and while it was nice to return to work, you missed Adam. It was nearly painful. But all your co-workers made it feel like a second home.
Dana and McKay were happy to swap baby stories with you, while Langdon attempted to give you and Michael tips. You seemed more receptive to it than your husband was.
You had decided that for your first Mother’s Day, you wanted the day off to spend with your son. Michael also ensured he had off, and let you sleep in. It was peaceful to wake up to a quiet house.
Michael brought you breakfast not long after you woke, and you showered him with kisses in gratitude. It really was the little things.
“I have a full day planned,” he told you, sitting beside you in bed, sipping a cup of coffee. “Slow morning, then when you’re ready, we’re gonna go out.”
“Out?” You questioned. “Care to be more specific?”
A sly grin formed on his face. “Nope.”
You scoffed, but you were smiling.
Sometime after noon, Michael was packing a lunch bag while you got changed, curious to see what he had planned. He got Adam ready, and you met him at the car with an eyebrow raised. He only smiled at you.
It was easy enough to guess what he was up to once you pulled up to the park. It was a beautiful spring day, and you enjoyed the little things — a picnic in the park with your family of three was perfect. Not too complicated, or required too much effort from you, and it was simple enough that you weren’t worried about Adam fussing too much.
You relaxed on the picnic blanket, enjoying the feeling of the sun on your skin, the warmth sending a happy buzz through your system.
Adam was only four months, but he took in the world around him eagerly. He was beginning to roll over with only a small amount of assistance, and he clapped his hands when he was excited, babbling nonsense.
It seemed like such a short amount of time since he had been born, but he was already beginning to grow far too quickly for your liking.
Michael kept Adam entertained while you read a bit, before you ate together. Michael really had quite the spread, aside from the sandwiches, he also had fruits and cheeses and crackers and your favorite chocolates.
“This is exactly what I needed.” You told him. “Thank you.”
Michael raised an eyebrow at you, “You think this is it?”
“Oh? Do tell.”
He only smirked.
You discovered when you got home that Michael had hired a babysitter for that night. He said he wanted to take you out to dinner, and an excitement thrummed through you. You and Michael had barely had any alone time since Adam came into your lives, and while you enjoyed all the time you got with your son, you knew a night out with your husband would be good for you.
The restaurant he had picked? It was where you had had your first date.
A quaint little Italian place, and you nearly cried when you pulled up to it. It was not fancy or lavish, but it meant the world to you.
“Thank you for today.” You said, sipping your drink, trying not to cry in the middle of the restaurant.
He grabbed your hand on the table and ran a thumb over your knuckles. “You deserve it, sweetheart. You’re the best mom Adam could ever ask for, and I always want you to know how much I appreciate you.”
Your face heated, suddenly feeling sheepish.
Conversation flowed easily, and it was nice to be able to feel normal again — not just a mom, or a doctor, just you. It made your chest feel lighter. The topic eventually leaned back to Adam, and the fact that you missed him.
“We can take dessert to go.”
You smiled in relief, “Yes, please.”
On the ride home, you intertwined your fingers with Michael’s.
“So…any thoughts on another one?” You ventured quietly, a teasing smile on your lips.
Michael choked on an intake of air, “What?”
You laughed, “Eventually. Maybe. I don’t know. Just popped into my head.”
“Give a guy a little warning next time.” He chuckled.
“Consider yourself warned.”
He squeezed your hand, “Do you want another?”
You shrugged even though he was looking ahead at the road. “I don’t know. Adam’s still so little, but he’s also already so big, you know? I already miss how little he was. I wouldn’t be opposed in a year or so, but I wouldn’t be upset if we just stuck with one.”
“So…possibly another?”
“What do you think?” You asked instead of answering.
There was a long pause, and then a sigh, “I’m not getting any younger, I’d like to watch Adam grow up, go off to college. If we decided to, I wouldn’t want to wait too long.”
“So possibly another?”
You could hear the smile in his voice, “Possibly another.”
—
Father’s Day came with another day off, Michael wanting his first to be spent at home as well. You knew these kinds of holidays might need to be sacrificed in the future, so you were grateful that at least your first of each would be spent at home.
Knowing Michael, you knew he wasn’t one to want much fanfare, so you planned most a day in. From breakfast and lunch, to a few nice things to grill for dinner. It was mostly about spending time together, and you were happy to supply it. The details of his present sat in a card on the dining table, a cabin rented in the Poconos to fish with enough room for Jack and Jake to tag along (both had already agreed).
The day turned into a well deserved relaxing day, though you could see how much Michael was enjoying spending some time off with his family.
After dinner, you handed Michael the card, Adam in your lap. You bounced your legs, making car noises with your mouth, making him giggle and clap. You heard Michael open the card and silently he read over it.
“Jack and Jake already took off, and I worked something out with your shifts, you’ll be all set.”
He blinked at you before he was out of his seat and kissing your face, making you giggle. Adam squealed in your lap, clapping more eagerly while he babbled at his dad.
“This is…thank you.”
“You haven’t taken any time to go back up there in a really long time.” You shrugged, knowing he used to try to get away more frequently earlier on in your relationship. Sometimes you tagged along, but you thought a boys weekend away was just what the doctor ordered (you, you were the one who ordered it). “Soon you’ll have to bring Adam with you.”
Michael grinned, looking down at his son. “You’ll love it, I can show you how to…”
You watched Michael excitedly explain fishing to your son, who watched him with big brown eyes, mesmerized.
You put Adam down to sleep sometime later, before joining your husband in the living room. You curled up next to him.
“Thank you for today…it was very needed.”
You kissed his cheek, “You’re an amazing father, you know that? I’m incredibly thankful for you.”
He pulled you closer and kissed your head. You turned in his grasp and kissed his lips, moving into his lap to kiss him deeper. Michael responded instantly, one hand going behind your head and the other going to your hip.
The first time you had been intimate after giving birth to Adam had been a process riddled with your insecurities. Michael kissed his way through each one and took his time, like he was relearning your body. It took an incredible amount of pressure off your shoulders, and you revealed in his touch.
Your hands moved from his chest to his hair, tongue licking along his bottom lip. His grip on you tightened, his tongue slipping into your mouth. Warmth pooled in your abdomen, and you moved your leg to straddle him.
His fingers ghosted over the skin of your hips, making you shiver. He moved a hand up your torso, grabbing at your flesh and you moaned into his mouth. You moved your hips down to find some sort of friction. A groan echoed low in Michael’s throat, and the sound set you on fire.
Michael had you up and on your back on the couch in a swift motion, settling between your hips. You pulled at the hem of your shirt until he helped you pull it over your head. He kissed down your neck and across your torso, moving lower until your head buzzed with pleasure.
You felt like your body was thrumming under his touch and you lost yourself in it. It wasn’t long before all of your clothes were scattered across the living room, Michael back between your hips.
He whispered his love for you against your skin, and proved it with each slow drag of his hips, until you were a moaning mess under him, a blinding heat overtaking your senses. He was everywhere, feeling so full of him, tears falling from the corners of your eyes, blissed out and overwhelmed with all the warmth swirling around in your chest.
Michael came with a few low grunts, groaning against your throat before pulling you into a rough, sloppy kiss.
You ran your hands over his shoulders, panting with him, foreheads touching. You leaned up to languidly kiss his lips again. He brushed a thumb across your cheek. He kissed along your cheek and nose, the hairs of his beard tickling your skin and making you giggle. You lightly pushed him away.
“Get off me, old man.”
An eyebrow rose, “Old man, huh? This old man can make you come again, if you—”
You laughed, “Get off.”
He moved his head in such a way that the softest touch of his beard ran along your neck and your face, making you squirm. The sensation was incredibly ticklish.
“Alright, alright, I yield. I yield!” You laughed again, turning your face away from him. “You’re not even that old anyways.”
He laughed and kissed your cheek, moving to sit back on his haunches. He looked down at you with a soft smile.
You raised a challenging eyebrow, “If you’re gonna keep looking at me like that, I might have to take you up on your offer.”
A sly grin spread across his lips, “Yeah? Thought I was an old—”
You reached up for him, “Just get back down here, Michael.”
He laughed, but complied.
—
A rare quiet morning was always a welcomed thing in your household, slow and lazy. With the hectic reality you both faced at work, you had begun to cherish these days. Adam on his playmat, you and Michael sitting on the couch eating breakfast and enjoying the company of each other.
When Michael came back into the kitchen from taking a shower, you had Adam sat in his highchair. You had a spread of paints and a canvas print sat on the dining table, a handful of newspapers protecting the wood from any mess.
Michael looked over it all with a face drenched in curiosity.
“Care to fill me in? What’s all this?” He looked over all the paints, raising an eyebrow at you. “This a new hobby, or something?”
You shrugged, “Not quite.”
He stayed silent and waited for you to elaborate, but you were messing with a few different colors, mixing them on a paper plate.
“Blue or red?” You asked.
“...blue?”
You handed him a paper plate with blue paint.
He stared down at it, “Do you want me to..?”
You looked at him and smiled, “Put your right hand in it.”
“Right, right. Of course. Logically, that was my next step.”
You chuckled, “I thought it could be a cute art piece for Adam’s room. Your hand, my hand and his in the middle.”
A softness warmed his face, and then he did as you asked. You pulled over the canvas print for him to put his now paint covered hand on. You handed him a damp paper towel when he was done. You dipped your hand into the red paint and copied your husband, so that your hands mirrored each other.
Adam seemed thrilled to be involved when you dipped his hand into the purple paint you mixed, placing his hand between both handprints you and Michael had left. You wiped his hand off and gave him a kiss on the head.
“It’s perfect.” Michael said in your ear.
You pulled him close, “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
You stared down at the little art piece of your handprints, your heart swelling at your little family you and Michael had carved out for yourselves. Even amidst the chaos, you had found your home.
“Always?”
“Forever.”
No matter what you two faced, you knew it was a promise you would both keep.
FIN.
All Dr. Robby content taglist: @cherriready @seeyalaterinnovator @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @bxxbxy @18lkpeters @flyinglama @hagarsays @mayabbot @anakingreys @happyfox43
All The Pitt content taglist: @cannonindeez @spoiledflor @kittenhawkk @nessamc @thatchickwiththecamera @sharkluver @loud-mouph
Robby deserves only good things. This brought me back to the layout I did for A Lesson in Firsts and omg it was another great journey.
Damn, s1 of The Pitt is over. What am I going to do with myself?? Write a lot? Probably
Also?? Heartbeat has over 1k notes?? That’s insane, thank you guys so much🥺🥹
#the pitt#michael robinavitch#dr robby#michael robinavitch x female reader#michael robinavitch x reader#dr robby x reader#the pitt x reader#asxgard writes#he’s so girl dad coded but oof I’m glad it was a boy to honor adamson#pregnant reader
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