#been trying to write this up for awhile
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Steve and Eddie are sharing a joint, sitting in Steve's car. They're just talking about random shit, when Steve goes to apply chapstick. And that made him think about lipstick.
Steve likes lipstick. He voices this opinion. Likes the pop of color that draws the eyes. Likes how it emphasizes lips, makes them look even more kissable. Likes the marks they leave on the skin when kissing. It gets him all hot just thinking about the trail leading down and down-
And Eddie. Eddie just shrugs and returns to puffing on the joint they are sharing. Says he's never experienced it. Which, Steve thinks is criminal. Sure, Eddie is gay and it's the 1980s, but lipstick is just makeup and anyone should be able to wear makeup. I mean, Steve isn't shy to wearing lip gloss not that he advertises it.
So, Steve digs around his car, finds the lipstick that Robin left. He applies a thick layer to his lips, smacking them a few times. "I'll prove it, come here," Steve says leaning into Eddie's space.
And Eddie is wide eyed but agrees.
One kiss leads to two. Which leads to Steve pressing open mouthed kisses into Eddie's neck. Eddie moans and Steve whispers in his ear," I've wanted to do this for awhile,, you're so hot." Which leads to Eddie's shirt coming off. Leads to red lipstick trailing down Eddie's chest and down and down and
Yeah, Steve was right. Lipstick is hot.
#Steve is so smug about proving his point AND kissing Eddie meanwhile Eddie's brain is like leaking out of his ears#Steve has been trying to drop hints for months and Eddie has been oblivious#Eddie is going to go home and think Man Steve Really Likes Lipstick Ha Ha and meanwhile Steve is thinking Wow we kissed we're gonna date no#It clicks for Eddie a few days later and Eddie shows up at Steve's and is like “wait you said you've wanted to do that for awhile”#I could write more but my head is pounding and my cold medicine is kicking in and sleep is taking over#Steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson/steve harrington#Eddie Munson x Steve harrington#steve harrington/eddie munson#Jade is Talking
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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wait so chuuya has angel imagery about him in stormbringer. and dazai is referred to as a demon on more than one occasion. and. hold on. wait. I'm going insane. hold on.
#don't try to figure out the grammar of this post I'm too lazy and having too many thoughts for that rn.#ANYWAY are they literally an angel/demon ship. in a way. bc if so. the dan rights are insane#I've been thinking abt this for awhile idk why it took me so long to post abt it#I'm ngl demon dazai as a concept is already enough to give me rights personally he truly is just like me fr#and . you know how insane i am abt angels. tbh chuuya would make a really good angel he's loyal and has humanity issues doesn't he.#also he is a Fucked Up Creature :) love that about him. but yeah that's another part of it#i wish there was like. more of that. more than just that one time symbolism. i need more. so i can write an essay abt angel chuuya#(if there is and i just missed it PLEASE send it my way. i am asking nicely 🔫)#(ig you could argue he's like an angel saving the ada in this arc but... eh that's not direct enough for me)
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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Colleague called me a Luddite today because I wrote the abstract for a book chapter submission by hand without using ChatGPT
#I just sort of let him talk about AI for awhile and why he thinks it's the future of academia#He ended up saying it's because he wants to keep working at uni but he has no publications#And get this: doesn't like writing. So.#I guess of course AI seems like the holy grail for people who don't know how to write#Like it just really struck me that the root of his AI obsession is insecurity#He even made a joke that I'm skipping journals and going straight to book chapters#I guess since it's my first year?#And he's been there 3 years and has no publications. Same with the other guy in our conversation#But it's like. Idk. I like trying new things. I never said it was a GOOD abstract and I don't know if it'll be accepted#But at least I'm trying. With my own words.#Personal#I *like* writing things with my own words. It makes me feel powerful#I don't want to use AI to produce 100 papers about the same batch of research (his fantasy)#I want a handful of papers which I can be proud to say I wrote myself#And most of all? I want to enjoy my work. I enjoy my research#I don't want my job to become an internet content mill#So I'll probably remain a Luddite
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Kinda just want to do a fancomic now about CoralBob instead of the fic.
#the thing about comics is that once I draw out something I can easily think of the next drawing#unlike writing were I’m constantly worried about misspelling or grammar and all that junk#and setting a scene through words#and it’s the constant rewriting that messes me up the most#and I know I need to wrap up my scratchyenne comic but my SB story I been working on for years#like I’m not sure if I’ll make it fully colored or monochromatic sketches type of comic#but DAMN I been thinking about this for awhile now because Coraline is the closest to who I am irl personally wise#and her story means a lot to me#so I’m just trying to decide#because I sorta did an little fancomic of them meeting in the past but I might redo it or scrap it#💬 chy chatter 💬
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[What Could Have Been]
After the unfortunate reveal of what kind of person Wilbursoot was, I was unsure whether or not to post this, but I've decided to. Here is my outline for the beginning of a fanfic I was writing...
Note: Everything under the cut was written before Wilbur was exposed for being an abuser, as well as some of the tags
A Modern-Vampire!AU involving SBI and a few other people.
Techno is an aspiring writer that recently moved into a very... low quality aparment. He's taken note of the number of bats that fly around the neighborhood and has developed a habit many people in his apartment complex have; feeding fruit to the bats that hang out around his place.
The place is pretty chill. Techno works at this nice Café. (Whether it's Niki's or not is up to you.) He's developed a small rivalry with this random kid who pesters him for food all the time. Techno usually shares his lunch with the kid. (Techno admits the kid is pretty cute with his squid themed. backpack and hoodie)
Anyway, Techno is doing well, he's adjusting to the neighborhood, his boss is pretty nice, and he even has the free time to write his second novel now.
Time passes and Techno has fully adjusted to the place, getting comfortable until... Tommy shows up! Tommy is a fledgling vampire who recently was given the freedom of going out. (As long as one of the other coven members are with him.)
One day while out, Tommy gets distracted and wanders off, loseing his caretaker of the night. This leads to Tommy getting lost and ariving at an old apartment complex. The place has bat boxes and Tommy prepares to spend the day in one to hide from the sun.
While trying to hide from the sun in his bat form, Tommy finds this weird guy with shitty pink hair who's been trying to lure him inside with grapes. (Techno sees a small pup without it's mother desperately hiding in his very old and falling apart bat box.)
Eventually Techno gets the pup inside, wrapping him up in a soft baby blanket and putting him in a shoe box with a warming pad.
Tommy is scared and confused by the actions of this random human... but he quite likes the warm box he's been put in... it's not his fault if he fell asleep!
Across the city is a frantic Wilbur trying to find his missing brother who disappeared after he looked away for a second! Okay, maybe he was staring at that pretty human running the nearby record store but Tommy had been right there beside him!
Wilbur and the rest of the coven desperately searches for Tommy before being forced to take refuge from the sun indoors.
I'm unsure of what happens next but Tommy eventually makes his way back and is promptly grounded and forced to stay indoors. The only problem is that... Tommy has imprinted on Techno during his time with him and begins sneaking out to hang out with Techno. (Techno is relieved that the little bat he helped was doing well!)
#technoblade#bedrock bros#sbi#sbi fanfic#vampire au#modern au#wilbur is a worried older brother#techno just wants to write his book and vibe with the little bat that keeps showing up on his balcony#tommy 'run away from home to eat fruit with weird man' innit#phil is a old man who cant handle the stress of his kids going missing#kristin absolutely knows where tommy is going and fins it amusing after awhile#if she even exists#squid kid is a gremlin that always eats techno's potato wedges.#philza#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#i actually like this#i may or may not write a fanfic for this au#what could have been#i might still try writing this#i had chapter one half way complete#correction: wilbur *was* a worried older brother#i could try replacing wilbur with someone#like tubbo#or ranboo#I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH SQUIDKID AND TECHNO#THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BROTHERS#squid kid : turned into literal child
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Hello, if it's not too close to the deadline, I wished to propose "Roads Untraveled" as a prompt 🫡
10/12/2024 (definitely not the 26th oops, meri kirihemite for the future and past?)
warnings for injury, trauma and grief.
“Adric can pilot the TARDIS,” his voice was firm beside Tegan, and she whirled around the best she could, the metal hand around her arm jarring it into a burning agony she ignored.
“Adric will be better, I insist. I’ll stay.”
“Doc,” she protested, but he threw her a glance so frightening she fell quiet. The Doctor stepped forward, away from the Cybermen, and grabbed hold of Adric, pushing him back towards Tegan.
“But Doctor, I-”
“Yes, he can.”
The Cybermen looked between them both, the background noise of gears picking up their pace and they considered. The Doctor stood by the pilot console, made smaller by the loneliness of the position.
“Very well,” they allowed, and Adric and Tegan struggled as they were pulled away, but the mechanical strength was beyond them. Their last view of the Doctor was at a distance, his head bowed and hand lax on the controls.
—-
Adric can. He dematerialises the TARDIS and whether it is from luck or the TARDIS acting on her own accord, but Tegan screams at him all the same. They can’t just leave the Doctor behind, they can’t. But as the ship flickers in and out of time, she knows there isn’t anything they can do. There is a low groaning in the Cyberman’s chest, and she thinks it’s laughter before it starts issuing orders on where and when the TARDIS must be piloted. But Adric’s hand comes around from behind it, a battered and much abused badge of mathematical excellence in it. He’s too short to reach though, and it’s Tegan who lunges forward, pushes it up those few more inches and grinds it into its front until it screeches mechanically, choking and oily smoke pouring from its chest unit.
—-
—-
The dust is so dense they choke as they leave the TARDIS. There is no light, no way to see where the freighter had crashed, and they want to believe the Doctor is alive, but the TARDIS is groaning, not the normal grate of its dematerialisation, almost a keening cry. Adric asks if it’s broken, but privately Tegan thinks it is crying, grieving the Doctor.
All the words he had spoken had become important. It had been such a short time they had known him, but had shaped them more than anything in their lives. A well prepared meal, and they try, try to appreciate those small moments, but none of them are exactly cooks. Two of them couldn’t even find the ingredients of their homes, destroyed or inaccessible. And as Tegan tried to compare what she could name of Earth vegetables to what Nyssa described of Traken food and Adric pointed out things they could have got from Alzarius, and no one pointed out they couldn’t get there.
The meal was disgusting, and Tegan didn’t even know how Nyssa had done that to innocent earth vegetables, but they laugh, and she can’t stop when Nyssa joins in. Adric happily eats his plate, and asks if they’re going to finish theirs or just be silly.
—--
Tegan takes to talking to the TARDIS. All the exhaustions and frustrations and fears she can’t share with the others, because they need to be cohesive. She tells the TARDIS one night, deep in a bottle of something that had unearthed from a glass cabinet in the Doctor’s room, that Adric and Nyssa are a heart each. One for science, one for maths, and they were trying their best to be the Doctor. There is a clumsy brush across her mind, painful before it becomes familiar, and the TARDIS is old too now without him, more erratic, rooms no longer all there - awkward angles and potholed floors. She doesn’t know how long they can keep doing this, cannot even trust the time of her own body - either her body doesn’t know which way is up or down anymore, or the constant never ending stress has stopped her periods, seemingly for good. She rather appreciates that side-effect actually, but carefully doesn’t think about what it means for her health. Not that, between the aliens and the robots and the revolutions they stumble into does she expect to have to think too long term.
—-
Adric’s hair had turned to a shock of white several years (?) ago, and neither of them knew why. It had stolen his voice with it, dark eyes and unfathomable beneath the long snowy fringe.
—-
Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, and sometimes it is an inevitability, a landslide of events that started far earlier than they had materialised. There is science and maths and humanity, and they are doing their best.
Tegan loses part of her finger. A door closes too quickly, sliding free at least as she tries to block off the mutated plant from growing out through the door from the next room with a creaking speed, and suddenly there is one less knuckle and she’s too shocked to even scream. She loses her top too that day, wrapped around her finger and too bloody to ever wash out.
—-
They manage. Adric keeps a notebook, writing down his equations so quickly that they sometimes smear across the page. Lines mark his face now, creases between his brows and grooves leading down from his snub nose, the rest of him learning to match his white hair.
They all move a little slower now. Tegan has changed to flat shoes and even in them she’s not quick enough to get to Nyssa. Can only try and contain the blood at the source, the raw flesh that is now her shoulder. She knows they win the day in terms of the planet and population, but their little group is lopsided now.
—--
She’s on her last legs. There are only emergency lights in the TARDIS now, and the console has lost any responsiveness to Adric’s coaxing. The rooms are stable, for now, but there are so few of them that they’ve started tripping over themselves. Tegan doesn’t know when the air will turn off, thinks the TARDIS is trying to hold onto that for last, and she keeps her hand, battered and clumsy with past damages, on the wall wherever she walks, the closest thing she can do to holding it’s hand in it’s dying moments.
When the lights finally go out, she gathers the other two into her arms, tells them of the good they have done. Hears her voice crack not only with age, but with grief for who they all could have been, once upon a time.
—--
There is light, there are strange men and women in high collars who ask them where the Doctor is. They are the Doctor, they tell him, and there is talk of regeneration trauma, or chameleon arcs and single hearts. And then, one reaches out, disgust on their face, to touch Tegan’s forehead and he’s there, the Doctor, his arm around her and the voice she had forgotten arguing the importance of small beautiful events. The sadness in his face when he wished Adric and herself good luck. And she’s gasping, great hiccoughing sobs that bring her to her knees. The Time Lords, and she knows now beyond doubt that they’re the Doctor’s people, have walked away, have categorised them as unimportant. They need the Doctor, not a ragtag group of aliens masquerading under his name. But they’re alive, and he is not. Tegan brings herself under control, only small sobs shaking her frame as she struggles back to her feet, Adric lending her his hands. The Time Lords have a screen up, and the three of them gather around, the scene aching familiar even from this strange perspective. Had they really ever been so young as they were here? Their faces so smooth, their bodies still whole.
Both Nyssa and Tegan step forward, volunteer themselves without a thought, but the Time Lord’s eyes slip past them. Their eyes a dark and heavy weight on Adric. Tegan and Nyssa turn, and Tegan knows that look, that sadness and inevitability. Had seen it so many years ago on a freighter careening through space. They argue, of course, Tegan and Nyssa with the Time Lords, but there were timelines, things that will happen in their futures. Things that will not happen to Adric. They throw around the term aberration, and Tegan bares her teeth at the cruelty. But they can see it in Adric’s face, see he already knows.
The Time Lords can pluck him out, and why didn’t they do that the first time, Tegan wants to scream. There are conditions, they say, their faces grave. They need the Doctor, universe ending and timeline risking dilemmas, and he is their last resort to solve them. But the freighter crashing into Earth, that is an event that must happen. The spiralling situation of humanity in the timeline must happen. And the freighter needs that payload, that complex blend of amino acids and metals and everything that leads to the human race on Earth.
There is a flurry of activity around them, sombre and controlled even in this, and time stretches, flexes, and snaps.
—---
They’re on the freighter, and Adric looks so small next to the pilot’s console, but smiles bravely at them. Tegan struggles as the Cybermen drag them away, but the Doctor’s face is stoic. Time stretches, flexes, and snaps. The freighter crashes into Earth, and the TARDIS keens, mourns a timeline that had happened and not happened.
#advent fic#fic#adric#tegan#nyssa#tbf i have had this in my notebook for awhile just never a moment to type it up. i'm not happy with it still but there just hasn't been tim#and i'm still trying to write fics so may be posting them well into january oops#this is the longest though. over 1500 words >> for a prompt >>#just hasn't been time oops. not tim. my brother tim was in fact down for christmas. so there was tim.
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#whenever I scroll through like Twitter or Bluesky or tumblr I see a lot of people making stuff with their oc#or like yume stuff with their fave characters and it makes me go like ''oh I'd love to do that too''#but then I remember that Gilgamesh would never like look towards me because I visually don't appeal to his tastes#nor my like character wouldn't pick up his interest because I'm a boring loser and a coward and sometimes it really puts me down#and yeah I know it's stupid but I just can't help myself😅#and I know that some of you might come to me and say words of support and I would appreciate them#but I'm writing this not to pity party myself but to just lift this weight out of my chest#and I have a friend of mine and we know each other since the childhood like we went to the same kindergarten#and I remember her always being determined and ahe always stood up for herself and was never afraid to voice her opinions#and I always admired her for that because because I always stayed quiet during the arguments or try to avoid them completely#or whenever someone was bullying me I always just burst into tears and just ran away#and I sometimes hate myself for being weak but I just can't do anything about it#and recently this friend she went into military and even though I worry about her and support her#I just can't help myself and not feel envious (in a good way) because of her bravery and determination to make that choice#and just throw her into this challenge despite all of her worries doubts and consequences that she might face#like I can't even call a dentist to make an appointment without being anxious#while she's ready to throw herself into the pits of hell despite fear and everything#like my friend is like that perfect image of a person that Gilgamesh would look upon with admiration and some respect#and I wish I could be like that too#I wish I could be the person which Gil would praise rather than look upon like on a piece of trash...#anyway sorry for ranting and thank you for reading if you did#these thoughts have been eating me for quite awhile and I wanted to voice them at least somewhere#personal
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no, no, because imagine. we get a shot of eddie looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. he touches his mustache and sighs. the next shot is someone knocking on the door of the loft. buck opens it, and it's eddie on the other side, freshly shaven and finally ready to acknowledge what buck means to him
#im so ready for eddies arc in season 8#we get the mustache (for awhile)#we get the hot priest back#we get eddie diaz in church#eddie girlies we are winning so hard this season#anyway lemme write my fanfiction in the rest of these tags#buck is like. oh hey---you shaved??#yeah. it uh was time for it to go.#buck gets them beers because ofc he does. i thought it was a yk sign of change. an eddie 2.0 kind of thing?#uh more just. idk trying it out. figuring things out. uh like a transition period i guess. that was eddie 1.5 and uh now im eddie 2.0?#and then buck watches eddie suck down like half of beer and he just looks at him with that look that always makes eddie tell him everything#and eddie says. how did you know? like how were you sure that you liked guys?#uh. i didnt? not consciously anyway. i didnt really know until tommy kissed me and then it all just kinda made sense...#right. right. so it was just always there? the uh attraction to men?#yeah. idk i thought everyone thought men were just as hot as women. i never really thought about dating men until yk i was dating one#cool. cool. and maybe eddie changes the subject. lets buck ramble his ear off for awhile before they clean up their empty bottles#and eddie catches bucks arm and looks at him and buck says. what?#kiss me#what?? eddie what?#i need to---ive been figuring things out and i need it to be you#me? why me?#cuz. cuz youre the only one i trust. the only one i want to trust. i want it to be you. i need it to be you cuz its you buck its always you#anyway buddie canon season 8#me thinks
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ignore me lol
#having one of those nights where i'm very very miserable#like the constant guilt of just being me in my situation here at home barely getting to leave the house#not being able to work because i have no transportation#having to rely on bits of online work i can find online just to like have lunch with a friend#can't even drive we have one car my dad won't help me get my license#can barely do my online work because we haven't had wifi in weeks and a lot of it i need my laptop for :(#like writing is all i have now this is the only thing keeping me from losing my mind and doing some dumb shit#and im like .. is this going to be my life forever cause this shit has been going on for many many years now#and i just don't want people thinking i /want/ to be living this way i literally don't#like it's crazy i have to wonder like why am i existing if im just locking myself in my room all day everyday#all of this combined w my trying to control my ** it just does not help at all#idk i just want to be normal i want to have a life i wanna enjoy my life#but knowing it's going to be awhile before i do just makes me dread waking up every morning#im just so sad and lonely and miserable and this is all i have going for me#idk#sorry for the long vent#but it is true everyone i am in fact a loser#alright lemme shut up lol
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We would love to hear you sing a song...maybe singing even a sad song would help lighten your load a little, and we would be blessed with your angelic voice...please.
🥺
#again this was a few days ago#but uhm#🥺🥺🥺🥺#do you guys actually like hearing me sing? 👉👈#idk I never wanna be that one stereotypical singer who never fucking shuts up and sings all the time#but I’m trying to get more comfortable with my voice#and also not caring what other people think#the hard part about singing in my car is I have to do a song I know by heart#cause I’m using my phone as a voice recorder I can’t look up lyrics too ya know#unless I plan ahead and like print out/write the lyrics before#but man that’s a lot of work#when I wanna sing I wanna sing#I don’t wanna do all this work to be able to sing ya know#idk sounds weird when I try to explain it#I know I mentioned this awhile ago but I’ve been thinking about making a TikTok of me singing#but I also like audios cause they are so much easier than videos#I don’t have to look presentable for an audio#I just have to sound good#idk idk idk#I always feel dumb when I talk about me singing#cause then I really think about it and I’m like lol no one wants to actually listen to me sing#I should just stick to singing in the car and the shower where no one can hear me#but you are right#singing a sad song might help lighten the load just a little bit#I’ll try tomorrow 💖#ask#anon
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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Fluff, Drama, Lighthearted or Dark
FMA, Wonderland, Ygo or anything in between
I wanna plot gdi.
Look I love short n sweet interactions, quick asks and small threads they're all great but I'm going to be perfectly honest. I Miss plotted stuff.
I miss a single lengthy thread, or continues story beats and plots over multiple. I want progression.
Character Growth- for all muses, the world and story building, relationship growth/bonding. The good, the bad, the happy , the sad and everything else that comes with those types of threads.
Quite frankly that's what I want more then anything in regards to Kisara, future of the blog, general desire/rp interest.
This isn't to say I want to stop or won't continue doing small stuff, answering asks and sending that. I'm always for those especially as good buffers whether as a break from a current thread, a lull in motivation, life getting in the way of being able to focus on lengthy things you know whatever.
I'll always be 110% on board for any and every interaction nor am I discounting the enjoyment they've brought in the past, I love everyone one of you guys and everyone of our interactions has been a joy to do and always will be.
But I'm gonna be real it has been far to long since I last did like a properly plotted thread, a fun long continuous thread that didn't end up dying out or forgotten real quick.
Just wanted to let everyone know this is what I've really been feeling and really wanting to try and lean into more not just for her but in general with my rping as whole this year.
But especially here cause in part the fragmented one shot mini threads while always fun they kinda end up all over the place and I'd love to be able to start creating some kind of time line? do interactions that will actually carry over from one to the next, consequences for actions, lasting affects of things good or bad between threads (which I already have been trying to do that with some of her interactions and not just let them sit in a unconnected nebulous zone of their own heh)
#I hope this doesn't come off as rude or demanding or anything#I kept quiet but this has been on my mind for awhile#Was always afraid as coming off as pushy or potentially worse ungrateful for the rps/interactions#that have been done#because I'm not#I adore each and every interaction no matter how big or small they all mean the world#just knowing you want to interact with my little girl#but I fear that in part she herself has kind of become stagnant with all her interactions#being relatively brief and more or less the same nothing to push forward#and even if that wasn't true I just adore being able to essentially work together and write story for our muses#plus by plotting and giving more for the muses it may also make it easier/ add to even the small stuff you know#Gotta start small to get big but when doing big stuff still need the small now and then heh#so yeh small threads/short interactions/ask based on offs ect none of that is going anywhere#I've just really wanted to try and get into a more plotted/story proegression type of direction? focus?#I don't want to end up feeling like I'm in a rut of the same old things#and of course I understand life exists motivation or lack there of can come and go or be directed who knows where#and all of that#but even if it means having to slowly get that train going before it can head full speed down the tracks I don't mind taking the time#that's all okay#but let's work together to get it going then
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Whenever I actually sit down and start posting the next gen series, one of the things that I really wanna do is kind of... incorporate reader's choices into it? Not in big ways bc my plan is to write like a full season before I start posting episodes and that can affect it, but like. smaller beats.
One example is that I have an episode idea where there's a big emotional thing for three different characters and our resident empath has a discussion with each of them, but it's reader choice which scene we see. Another one is an episode where it's reader's choice for who gets hit with some kind of emotional puncture and just spews emotions everywhere. It'd be mostly character and relationship scenes for arcs that are already happening, but readers would have the chance to see their favorite or the one that they're most curious about up close on "screen." Not for every episode, but like. maybe once or twice a season or something. Idk, thought it might be interesting.
#abi speaks#next gen fanfic series#this is an idea that i would absolutely love to do but we'll see what happens when i actually get to the point of posting these episodes#which will not be for awhile bc like i said i'm wanting to write the whole season first#and rn i'm still trying to get a better grasp of some of the more extended next gen characters#bc i got about half of them down really well but i need to really figure out two of paige's kids more#and also give some more depth to some more of the cast such as mel and parker and sebastian#bc their character is kind of... not shallow but its more like this is their core personality but what do they do#what do they do for fun? what do their lives look like? which is a little harder rn bc with so many characters#im trying v hard to not end up with a lot of repeating y know? but i mean#i might repeat a few things now that i think about it#bc like for example. my sister and i are v different but we actually are in... fields that are adjacent to one another if not the same#despite vastly differently career goals work experience and college choices#but it's still a process#one that i haven't really been indulging as much as i'd like recently#bc i'm kind of in a slump atm but i think it might be nice to just sit down and work on each character one at a time#and kind of connect them to their friends and family and build them out as if they were the only main#instead of one of. eleven or twelve depending on if we're counting bianca#(i did in fact look at the nine canonical kids and then fucking add in dj morris and the half manticore sebastian bc why not i guess#bc that's too many characters that's why but it was done a decade ago so we're stuck with it. i say with love#i adore dj and sebastian the bestest friends anyone could want but it does make it even more character loaded lmao)
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CoPilot in MS Word
I opened Word yesterday to discover that it now contains CoPilot. It follows you as you type and if you have a personal Microsoft 365 account, you can't turn it off. You will be given 60 AI credits per month and you can't opt out of it.
The only way to banish it is to revert to an earlier version of Office. There is lot of conflicting information and overly complex guides out there, so I thought I'd share the simplest way I found.
How to revert back to an old version of Office that does not have CoPilot
This is fairly simple, thankfully, presuming everything is in the default locations. If not you'll need to adjust the below for where you have things saved.
Click the Windows Button and S to bring up the search box, then type cmd. It will bring up the command prompt as an option. Run it as an administrator.
Paste this into the box at the cursor: cd "\Program Files\Common Files\microsoft shared\ClickToRun"
Hit Enter
Then paste this into the box at the cursor: officec2rclient.exe /update user updatetoversion=16.0.17726.20160
Hit enter and wait while it downloads and installs.
VERY IMPORTANT. Once it's done, open Word, go to File, Account (bottom left), and you'll see a box on the right that says Microsoft 365 updates. Click the box and change the drop down to Disable Updates.
This will roll you back to build 17726.20160, from July 2024, which does not have CoPilot, and prevent it from being installed.
If you want a different build, you can see them all listed here. You will need to change the 17726.20160 at step 4 to whatever build number you want.
This is not a perfect fix, because while it removes CoPilot, it also stops you receiving security updates and bug fixes.
Switching from Office to LibreOffice
At this point, I'm giving up on Microsoft Office/Word. After trying a few different options, I've switched to LibreOffice.
You can download it here for free: https://www.libreoffice.org/
If you like the look of Word, these tutorials show you how to get that look:
www.howtogeek.com/788591/how-to-make-libreoffice-look-like-microsoft-office/
www.debugpoint.com/libreoffice-like-microsoft-office/
If you've been using Word for awhile, chances are you have a significant custom dictionary. You can add it to LibreOffice following these steps.
First, get your dictionary from Microsoft
Go to Manage your Microsoft 365 account: account.microsoft.com.
One you're logged in, scroll down to Privacy, click it and go to the Privacy dashboard.
Scroll down to Spelling and Text. Click into it and scroll past all the words to download your custom dictionary. It will save it as a CSV file.
Open the file you just downloaded and copy the words.
Open Notepad and paste in the words. Save it as a text file and give it a meaningful name (I went with FromWord).
Next, add it to LibreOffice
Open LibreOffice.
Go to Tools in the menu bar, then Options. It will open a new window.
Find Languages and Locales in the left menu, click it, then click on Writing aids.
You'll see User-defined dictionaries. Click New to the right of the box and give it a meaningful name (mine is FromWord).
Hit Apply, then Okay, then exit LibreOffice.
Open Windows Explorer and go to C:\Users\[YourUserName]\AppData\Roaming\LibreOffice\4\user\wordbook and you will see the new dictionary you created. (If you can't see the AppData folder, you will need to show hidden files by ticking the box in the View menu.)
Open it in Notepad by right clicking and choosing 'open with', then pick Notepad from the options.
Open the text file you created at step 5 in 'get your dictionary from Microsoft', copy the words and paste them into your new custom dictionary UNDER the dotted line.
Save and close.
Reopen LibreOffice. Go to Tools, Options, Languages and Locales, Writing aids and make sure the box next to the new dictionary is ticked.
If you use LIbreOffice on multiple machines, you'll need to do this for each machine.
Please note: this worked for me. If it doesn't work for you, check you've followed each step correctly, and try restarting your computer. If it still doesn't work, I can't provide tech support (sorry).
#fuck AI#fuck copilot#fuck Microsoft#Word#Microsoft Word#Libre Office#LibreOffice#fanfic#fic#enshittification#AI#copilot#microsoft copilot#writing#yesterday was a very frustrating day
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