#been meaning to post this for a few days but i'm lazy my bad guys

[iid-smile]

waterfall , tomioka giyuu

x gn!reader ! giyuu using his water breathing, he asks for permission to confess and impress you!

author's note: im having writers block with kny specifically (future sunny: thats a bad excuse btw... i just dont because idk what to write for majority of the characters) so literally everything these days is jjk. justice for kny!!!!

double author's note: hi... future sunny here. this message ^^ yeah, that was FOUR WEEKS AGO now its just laziness rather than writers block... thats why the dialogue has literally no description half the time and i really did not want to finish this

triple author's note: ahaha i bet you've never seen three in a row 😈 anyways i forgot to post this after i proofread it half asleep so here u go

"do you like rivers?"

"mhm."

"what about lakes?"

"i like anything to do with water, tomioka. you don't need to worry so much about what i like."

"i'm not worried." giyuu's gaze turns away from you, like it always does, and he looks straight ahead. "there's just something i want to try."

though slightly wary of his intentions, you know that giyuu isn't the type of guy to put you in situations where he doesn't have your consent first. and quite clearly, it's something to do with water, because he's been awfully chatty about different bodies of water, fishes, and just nature in general. it's difficult to make a guess of what he's planning, because sometimes he can just be so unintentionally unpredictable. and weird. he's a weirdo.

you walk behind him so he's able to lead the way. now that he's gone all quiet again, you can't help but furrow your eyebrows a bit. something he wanted to try? what could he possibly want to try in the middle of the night? let alone in a forest...

finally, he comes to a halt. obviously, you're a bit... confused, being stopped in front of a large, and deep body of water surrounded by rocks.

"hold my hand."

"why?"

as if he knew you were going to ask that, he turns to face you with not a single change in his expression, neatly holding out his hand to you. "i'm going to do something, and i don't want you to slip." something. there's that something again.

your eyes flicker from his hand to his face just a few times, then to the surroundings, looking out for anything odd. he wouldn't be the type to prank you, would he?

"do you not trust me?"

"i do. it's just this something that you mention..."

"don't worry. i won't do anything bad."

would it be bad to say that he immediately soothed your worries? he was already speaking more than he usually would, and you noticed his free hand was always on the handle of his sword, so he's vigilant. no worries at all. you take his hand. it's cold, and unexpectedly smooth. "what are you going to do?"

no answer. he takes a step closer to the edge, just one little tip toe away from the surface of the water. "by any chance.." giyuu remains quiet, head bowed to the water below before his eyes move back up to yours. "do you have a significant other?"

"no..."

"then," for a beat, he looks off to the side, and then turns his head back to you. "can i ask for your permission for me to... attempt to court you?"

"ah, is this why you brought me all the way out here? you have feelings for me?"

"...you found me out."

"you just told me that?"

"i didn't mean to."

the back of your hand comes up to your lips, poorly silencing your giggles. "you're a bit silly sometimes."

no response. "come."

giyuu takes a step down from the rocks, and into the body of water. from above, it was difficult to tell how far down the bottom of the lake was. "my clothes—"

he cuts you off. "don't worry. they won't get wet."

maybe he's telling the truth, since his aren't either. one last time, you look down at your covered feet, a nervous twitch running through them as the chill breeze suddenly became so apparent.

immediately, you're met with dreamlike arches of water and splashes surrounding the two of you, frozen in time and unmoving. for the first time, it feels like you're genuinely seeing his breathing technique visually, the sight similar to a vivid lucid dream. except this... this is way better. right in the climax, streams shoot up into the air, curving and twisting to form a heart in the center, then dispersing just as quick, the drops of rain disappearing into nothing as it touches skin.

it was beautiful, but beautiful wasn't even a word good enough to describe it.

"tomioka—?" but as you turn around, giyuu is nowhere to be seen. "huh? tomioka?"

you look left, and you look right. nobody's around: not a single life in sight. the trees are quiet, only the splashing of the waterfall fills in for the lack of noise around. and when you look down at your feet, you only see your legs submerged in water, all the way up to your knees. your haori steadily soaked up the liquid, the material darkening and growing heavier on your shoulders. "my socks!"

yes, you did have to walk home with wet tabi socks and zori with an uncomfortably damp surface. and yes, you did walk home with a constant flutter in your heart, not even knowing when the next time you'll catch a glimpse of him will be.

[factual-fantasy]

@octonauts16 (Post in question) TLDR at the bottom!😅

Yeah, that was Wally <XD I doodled that on the screen while kind'a forgetting all the stuff I've talked about Welcome Home recently. How I don't wanna join the fandom and such..

But to be honest I've been kind'a torn on Welcome home over the past few days. I recently developed 3 big main reasons why I don't want to join the fandom and draw the characters. But those reasons are quickly starting to dissolve-

Reason #1. Now I don't know if I just saw the wrong side of the fandom, but it felt like everywhere I went there was shipping content. Cannon or not, it was everywhere. And of course I'm known for not liking ships or really drawing any lovey dovey content.. I was worried enough about people tagging all of my Welcome Home art as shipping, that I figured I'd save myself the trouble and just.. not post any art of it all together.

But then I thought about it.. I mean, Undertale was a huge shipping fandom too. And I was able to weasel my way around all of that and come out unscathed. Surly the Welcome Home shipping fandom wouldn't be much harder to navigate.. right?

Reason #2. I wasn't really sure.. what to draw exactly. Everyone seems to have their own interpretation for the story of Welcome Home. Wally's the Bad guy, no House is the bad guy and he's controlling Wally, no no Wally and House are both the bad guys together. Their world is real- no actually its all make believe and Wally is the only one who knows its fake- aaaa so many stories!

I felt like it would take a lot of work and research to make my own version/interpretation of the story and the characters. So I just dropped it and didn't want to bother. I'm still so busy...

...But then its like 4 AM and I have ideas for redesigns of every character, a story is being constructed, angsty situations are being plotted, lore is growing- I hardly know much about Welcome Home truly, yet I already have a whole world built that I wanna start drawing-

But! Its reason #3 that's kept me from drawing anything. Clown, the series creator.

Looking around the fandom.. It seems that Clown is like me. They have certain boundaries when it comes to their characters and what they do and do not approve of others drawing about it. I know about the copywrite issues they're dealing with.. people selling merch of their characters and profiting.. its really sad. But there's more to it.

I saw some artwork for Welcome home and went to the comments. Everyone was like "I'm so glad to finally find an artist that respects Clowns boundaries!" And I'm like uh oh- are people drawing things that make Clown uncomfortable? Has Clown been dealing with that? What are those boundaries? Is anything I would like to draw something that would cross said boundaries?

So out of laziness to not dig deeper to find these boundaries, but also wanting to RESPECT said boundaries.. I just cut off any artwork from being made all together.

But my interest in this series is definitely getting stronger. And maybe sometime after these projects are finally off my chest, I'll look into Clown and see if any of my artwork would cross a line..

For now I'm too lazy, and too busy to make any artwork for Welcome Home <XDDD Maybe someday though!

TLDR; The #1 reason why I haven't drawn Welcome Home fanart is because I think Clown has certain boundaries when it comes to fanart. And I don't know what they are, I am also too lazy to look into it. So I just decided to not draw anything at all until further notice <XDD

[fictional-mind21]

🎶ALL MY LOVE🎶

Characters: Reader, Bucky, Dot (Bucky's girlfriend)

Synopsis: No matter the circumstances, you and Bucky Barnes would always be linked

Warnings: Small mentions of alcohol, pining for someone else while in a relationship and I guess [???] miscommunication [????]

Word Count: Too lazy to check

a/n: I feel like this is sort of messy writing structure but 🤷‍♀️ (I couldn't get this song out of my head and then this popped out)

+ This is the first I've posted in A WHILE, if you missed me, MY BAD 😳

‼️‼️Before you start reading this know that:

Italics = song lyrics (if they have parentheses around them that means they're being said by one of the characters)

Blue = Bucky's POV and thoughts

Regular white is Reader's POV and thoughts‼️‼️

It's been 61 days, more precisely 2 months since you and Bucky last spoke. Dot, his girlfriend, had given him an ultimatum.

Your friendship or their relationship.

After a restless night's of sleep he'd gone over to your house to break the news to you.

You told him you understood that she felt threatened by your close relationship and it was best to cut ties so he could pursue his happiness.

There ain't a drop of bad blood, it's all my love

You were his happiness

He was your best friend after all and what kind of best friend would you be if you stood in the way of his happiness?

You were his happiness

He was also the guy who gave you your first kiss due to silly little middle schooler games.

Well, I leaned in for a kiss thirty feet from where your parents slept

And I look so confident, babe, I swear, I was scared to death

I smiled stupid the whole way home

The guy who you'd fallen in love with BUT who'd found love elsewhere, so of course you were letting him go.

Now you were at Tony's annual New Years party watching him from across the room being all lovey-dovey with Dot and feeling like you were at the top of Mount Everest.

Cold and lacking oxygen.

It was wrong.

Here he was rubbing noses with Dot when the past 2 months had been an emotional agony for him, a hole in chest where you used to be.

2 whole months of not being able to get you out of his head.

As soon as he stepped out of your apartment that night, he felt wrong. He wished you'd have told him to stay. Filled his head with delusion and told him to choose you because you couldn't live without him.

Even if it wasn't wrong, it was too late. He'd made his choice and you'd obviously never choose him as anything more than a friend. He was crazy to think about such things.

You burrowed in under my skin, what I'd give to have you out for me

How could he have been so stupid? How had he not realized his feelings for you before? He had to get you out of his head before he messed up what he had with Dot. He'd be dammed if he messed up the relationship that sacrificed his and yours.

He'd been so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Dot calling him.

"Babe I'm gonna head to the bathroom, you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah"

As she walked away, he walked across the room towards the bar. Less for the drinks more so to stretch him legs and get a breath of fresh air. He took a seat nearest to the balcony and one look across the bar had him realizing THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

He hadn't realized you'd come to the party.

There you were talking to a group of people smiling and laughing, like nothing was wrong in the world. Yet here he was yearning to be in your presence.

As the group walks away he has to force himself to look away or you'll feel him staring.

As the group you were talking to walks away you look back to where Bucky was with Dot only to see it empty.

As you question if they left already you sense something familiar. A feeling of warmth, one which you're first instinct is to blame on the alcohol, but the drink in front of you has been sitting untouched for so long that all the ice has melted and the drink has gone warm.

As you look to your left you find the culprit and butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It's Bucky. He's only a few feet away but it's the most bittersweet distance you've ever been from someone. You thought seeing him across the room was hard but here you are and the need to be near him has NEVER been stronger. Or at least that's what you think until he makes eye contact with you and your heart stops.

You got all my love while I'm still out here

His heart stops and he almost drops the drink he's been swirling around to distract himself from looking at you.

Because you're looking at him and he's looking back at you, mesmerized. His breathing becomes shaky as flashbacks of you and him flood his mind. Soon he sees you walking towards him.

As you're walking towards him you see his breathing start to slow down, and maybe that should be sign a sign to stop what you're doing and walk away but you don't.

"Buck, you ok?"

"Yeah you know me d-oll, hate these parties, just got a little overwhelmed but I'm good now"

Was he though? Because although his shaky breathing subsided he still felt like he could go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

Write me a list of how it is, of how it was, of how it has to be

"So how have things been?"

"Well, doll , now that you mention it things have been good"

"That's good"

Now I know your name, but not who you are

"What about you, anything new and exciting?"

I wanna hear all of it no matter how insignificant you think it is

"Well actually ..........

As he listens to you he can't help but think "God I've missed the sound of your voice". Suddenly he feels a smile on his lips, one that was always only meant for you.

When you realize he's smiling you ask him "what's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing"

"I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry" you say letting out a nervous laugh

"Don't apologize, I don't mind." I could listen to you talk all day

As time goes on you guys start talking which turns into laughing, a laugh he missed and had trouble forgetting the sound of, a laugh only he could pull out of you.

Suddenly, and what feels like too soon, Dot appears and she looks upset.

"Seriously Bucky? There was a super long line and I've been looking for you everywhere"

"I've been here the whole time Dot"

"With her?"

"She's got a name Dot"

"Bucky you promised, you know how I feel about this" Despite the previous semi rude comment she made, you can hear the hurt in her voice which adds to the guilt creeping up on you. You were not about to let Bucky's happiness turn into something tragic all because you couldn't walk away.

"Hey, Dorothea?"

She looks at you

"Listen, I'm really sorry, this was all my fault. I was the one who-"

"It wasn't her fault, she saw me get a little overwhelmed with the crowd and came over to help and then we got to talking. I'm sorry, Dot I didn't mean to dismiss your feelings"

"We should go, Buck"

All it takes is one certain word out of her mouth to make your whole evening crumble. A word that makes you face the fact that the guy standing in front of you will never be yours, at least not in the way you want him to be.

BUCK.

GOD THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. What were you thinking coming to this party?!!

"No need, I was already on my way out. Don't lie. Don't leave please, I need you Hope you guys have a wonderful time and take care"

If you need me, dear I'm the same as I was

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 55 Stress Posting

Greetings, dear void. It is time... FOR A HAKURI PoV CHAPTER! And more JP-EN yapping from me than usual because honestly, this chapter was cool, but it was mostly set-up for whatever's going to happen next week. There's not much to muse on without trending towards pure speculation rather fast. Plus I finally got access to the JP version so I've been despairing at how far I have to go to actually learn the damn language...

But hey! Another color page next week! Hokazono-sensei's really suffering from success isn't he? Kagurabachi's getting the top-tier marketing push now that it managed to get over 1M copies in circulation with only 4 volumes out. Maybe we'll start to see the same level of CPs as Akane Banashi soon!

Samura and the Makizumi

Who the hell are you?

Does whatever he's got going on explain the female bearer's super young appearance...? The EN TL leaves it vague here, but JP is pretty specific that his body is that of a child but he isn't one in truth.

Why the adult in a child's body thing at all though? Why mimic Samura like that too? And why are we getting that packaged with a lazy-yet-competent commander archetype? Something about the combination of traits for this character just rubs me the wrong way. The cognitive dissonance worked -I'm interested in him and his situation- but it's unpleasant to deal with. This introduction felt unexpected in a bad way. I bet I'll be a minority on that though so I'll keep my rubbish opinions about him to myself. Maybe.

I have a theory on why Mini Samura is copying our favourite blind fighter guy at least. The official name for the squad in Japanese is 神奈備御庭番-座村親衛隊 [Kamunabi oniwa-ban - Samura shineitai]. The professional EN TL will parse all that much better than I can, but I just want to point out something fun. The last word (親衛隊) means "elite guards"/"bodyguards". Most of the time. It can also mean "groupies" or "ardent fans". So take that and stuff it in your back pocket in case the squad doesn't job here.

Anyway, this chapter is why we met the Makizumi [巻墨] a few weeks ago in chapter 50. Yes, it's the same kanji as "Masumi" that they were introduced as. I'm not sure why since my Japanese is, uh, not great. But it's not an EN translation error. The original JP indicates that Uruha says ますみ [masumi] in Ch. 50 via the Ruby next to the kanji. This time, however, the Ruby over their name in the spread says まきずみ [makizumi]. At least it's not truly a new name I suppose? The meaning -Rolled Ink- stays the same regardless.

At any rate, these guys are definitely all going to live and fight another day. Because named teams full of elite personnel formed for a specific purpose have great survival and success rates in this series. Yup. (Maybe being ninja will make the difference? Somehow???)

Who trained these guys, I wonder... Samura's hella scary for an "assistant master".

Samura getting annoyed that his disciple joined the fight...! It's sweet of him to care and still treat Uruha like an apprentice in some ways. They're both war veterans who have seen and experienced too much, but some dynamics don't change with the passing of time.

I appreciate that the villains and their tactics are well-thought out. Adjusting to fight a blind man with super senses isn't done as well as one would like in many series, sadly. They often get to style all over their enemies because they're underestimated, then are treated like a sighted person with a gimmick thereafter. But the Hishaku ain't about that and have actively planned against him by scrambling his smell and hearing while also sending Mr. Hatshaku and his undetectable trees. Very smart on Hokazono-sensei's part!

This is just so awesome! The spreads of Chihiro and Hiyuki meeting and parting again in ch. 29 are two of my absolute favourites in the series so far, so to see it again (kinda) makes me happy.

Samura cut part of Uruha's topknot here. He played it that close, huh. It's pretty cool that Samura has a wild fighting style that his allies have to adjust around. Normally blind fighters are super precise but Samura's just slicing and dicing anything that's living and ready to kill! But if you're that good then I guess it's worth training a few people to be able to compliment your moveset so they can safely support you.

Samura and Uruha aren't in perfect sync, and Uruha's still willing to take risks and throw himself into danger. But he's more than capable of being an asset in this fight without guaranteeing he'll become a burden later (unlike a certain someone...).

Uh Oh

He's so cute with his big ol' eyes and pensive expression.

Did Chihiro whip out his phone while keeping Hiruhiko pinned to the seat with his foot!? Anyway, this is only the second time in the series where he hasn't appeared in even a single panel. So we get to spend a whole chapter getting exposition via Hakuri!

I'm gonna take some time to yap about him because it's been nearly three weeks since he showed up a lot and I missed him terribly.

Stop, stop, STOP!!

Note: Hakuri's line in the panel before (...俺だけじゃないか" ["I'm the only one."]) doesn't directly match up to Kyora's final line from Ch. 43 (私だけだ... 私だけが全うできなかった ["I'm the only one... who failed to fulfill my duty."]), so it's not a direct reference even if the TL makes it seem like one. Hakuri's sentiment is different- his is "I can't be the only one" vs. Kyora's "I'm actually the only one". There are just a lot of characters who are convicted in their beliefs in this manga!

So much for getting to recover in 30 minutes, I guess.

Really cool that we see the mask "assembling"! It's only been shown intact when he activates the storehouse sorcery up to this point. So it's a neat visual representation of his resolve coming together during the time crunch as well. Hakuri is nothing if not dedicated to hurting and throwing himself into danger for the sake of others. Even after Healer Lady set up a flag for him to become useless or worse if he does so here. Oh, Hakuri...

He's helping Chihiro because he wants to make the world a safer place. Plus his whole thing after Ice Lady is that he'll "never let a life slip through [his] hands again". It's exceptionally noble and heroic of him! But is it worth potentially derailing the plans via brain damage or permanent ability loss?

Hakuri's not gonna die, obviously. I'm also 50/50 on him losing access to his sorcery at all, much less permanently. But something's going to get fucked up here and it'll probably be his fault. Again. He's gotta learn how to value himself the hard way, apparently. All we can do is wait to see what price will be paid for Hakuri's reckless disregard for his own well-being. (I'm not sure how I feel about this, but what if Hakuri gets Healer Lady killed? He could go 2/2 on women who were kind to him dying because of his actions right in front of him. Man that would suck.)

This is looking to be like one of the developments I was hoping for at the end of the Rakuzaichi arc. Hakuri does NOT chill when it comes to saving lives. Being borderline suicidal about this is his way of atoning for his and his family's sins, in my mind. But is it better to risk your life every time, or let people get hurt -possibly die- to keep doing greater good in the long-run? It's a common question raised in super hero comics, and I hope we get to see it explored with Hakuri (and Uruha) here. I'm really interested in what Hokazono-sensei has to say about it and the dissonance it would cause in Hakuri's character.

Arc Soothsaying

This is just a supposition, and I've been wrong so many times that I'm kind of hesitant to put this out there, but here goes. I know I can be as cringey as I like in your ambivalent embrace, kind void.

I think... I think... Hakuri's growth this arc will be specifically learning to value himself enough that he's able to act against his ideals.

Recall how Hakuri was the one to point out that Uruha knew the value of his life in Chapter 48 when he would have charged right in. And now he's with Samura, the guy who fights and kills to preserve himself despite it going against his Buddhist beliefs. Hakuri's constantly pushing himself to the limit, refusing to let other people get hurt for his sake. He won't let himself be the only one risking his life even if there's no strategic value for him to act- even if it would most helpful for everyone if he ran to safety. So I think he's going to have to put saving his own life above anything else later this arc and it's going to be terrible for him.

It would compliment the theme of negative self-image that's been set up with Chihiro too. They're both heroic, though it usually comes across in completely opposite ways (Chihiro's in his villain era right now, for one). And both of them have a lot of work to do when it comes to learning how to love themselves. Hakuri to understand his own "value", Chihiro to understand he's not a monster.

Learning more about the Bearers, Kunishige, and what happened in the Seitei war will almost certainly help Chihiro to realize he really isn't so different from the heroes he idolizes. As for Hakuri, it's hard to say right now. Uruha's going to be important to his growth I'm fairly certain. But we haven't even met all the Bearers yet so I don't want to start thinking in absolutes about who will help who and in what way.

We also have to wait and see what becomes of Hiruhiko after this encounter. He's obviously meant to be a counter to both Hakuri and Chihiro; how that manifests, exactly, is something I'm looking forward to seeing. It'll give more insight on how we can expect them to develop. Chihiro and Hiruhiko are pretty blatant right now with their outlook on what it means to kill and such, and there's set up for Hiruhiko to clash with Hakuri over what it means to be an equal and a friend.

For Chihiro and Hakuri... too early to say. Need to see what happens at Senkutsuji. My instincts are saying a rift of some kind will form between them over killing, equality, and/or their self-sacrificing tendencies but I'm always wrong, so. Just waiting and watching on that for now.

Anyway. Thanks as always, void. Here's hoping our boys don't have to suffer too much in the coming weeks/months. Except Hiruhiko. He can suffer enough for all of them.

[skyenish]

Twisted Wonderland Personality Swap AU

Thanks so much for the support on my previous posts, it really means a lot to me. Because of that, I've decided to continue writing for this AU and keep you all updated! I'll also be using this post to answer some of your questions. (In this AU the Housewardens and Vice-Housewardens switched personalities)

I went ahead and made some doodles for Ruggie, Leona, Jamil and Kalim (Ruggie with Leona's eyes scares me tbh)

Questions/explanations/clarifications:

-I didn't change the characters' backstories (unless specifically stated). Riddle still has a horrible mom, Trey's family still owns a bakery, Leona is still second prince, Ruggie is still dirt-poor, etc.

-What changed is how the characters reacted to their respective trauma I guess, which resulted in their personalities changing.

-Their personalities are not exact copies of eachother. For example, Riddle isn't just Trey but with red hair. He's very similar to Trey, yes, but they have a few differences in their personalities too.

-I'll explain how the characters became the way they are over time. Plus, it's also fun to think about it yourself, right?

-I've already worked out Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle and Scarabia.

-I'm planning on doing every dorm, but I play on the English server so I haven't finished book 6 yet.

-Yes, I'm planning on having the Vices + Kalim overblot, and to do that I'll be using their already canonically established backstories.

-I am NOT a professional artist, nor do I have ANY experience with drawing comics, but just know that I'm passionate about this little project and will work hard to make it as good as possible.

-I'm busy with school (I'm busy in general lol), so I don't have a lot of time to work on this AU- I've been sick for the past 4 days, which is why I could post so much.

-If you have literally any questions, just ask. I love to read you guys' reactions!

Characters:

Jamil wears his hair in a loose braid in this AU, since I don't think he has the patience to braid his hair the way he originally does and his hair is kinda connected to his personality. Jamil is much more optimistic and positive, and he's always supportive. People seem to naturally like him, which annoys Kalim. Jamil always tries to look at things from a positive perspective, trying to make the best out of his situation, though it's not that bad for him, because Jamil genuinely thinks that Kalim is amazing. When he got an invitation to NRC he INSISTED that Kalim come as well. Jamil always wants to throw feasts, and if his master allows it, he'll disappear in the kitchen to cook enough food to feed 3 entire dorms for a week. Jamil frequently tries to get Kalim to relax, because he just wants him to be happy, but Kalim then reminds him that they're at NRC to study. (I already talked about Kalim in a previous post but I'll copy paste it here too)

In this AU, Kalim is much stricter, much more focused and MUCH more responsible. He studies rigorously and insisted on actually working hard to earn his position as Housewarden instead of his family buying the position for him. He’s very sharp, quite intelligent, and is annoyed by his na��ve servant and his carefree attitude, who keeps following him around.

Leona is a menace, playful, optimistic and cunning, but he also puts a lot of work into his dorm and school. He knows he has to work had to achieve his goals and he knows that he has a lot of responsibilities. He values hard work.

Ruggie is the complete opposite to Leona though. He is lazy, quick to irritate, and forces lower-classmen to do his work for him because he just wants to sleep. Ruggie is a terrible student, never showing up for class or duties and never putting in any effort. He feels like no matter what he does or how hard he works, he'll never make any changes and his life won't ever get better anyways, especially with a high-and-mighty prince as his Housewarden. He thinks that nothing he does is of any use , so why bother at all, right?

Thanks for reading this word vomit, reblogging would be appreciated lol

[shingekinomyfeelings]

Okay, so. It's actually kind of funny that this post came across my dash this afternoon because I was kind of already thinking about this shit. I guess I should say tw: parental abuse? I'm keeping it as vague as I usually do, but if the concept is unduly upsetting, probably don't read this.

SOMETIMES it takes the buzz of physical exhaustion to make me look at my emotional/psychological exhaustion more objectively, and the last few weeks have definitely been emotionally exhausting. Even the prospect of finally moving out in spring (with the help from some friends who I finally agreed to let help me) is anxiety inducing in an almost paralytic way. There's so much to accomplish and so much that has to fall into place for it to work, and I don't want to invest too heavily in the certainty that I'll be able to do it, because then if I can't, I'll just feel worse than if I retain a bit of healthy pessimism. I know that sounds extremely fucking stupid. But I'm also excited about what can happen if it DOES work out.

A few months back, I was talking with a friend about my father trying to help one of his employees who was trapped in an abusive relationship. My friend expressed aggravation at the employee's erratic decisions, and her insistence on being 'fair' to her abuser. I said I didn't really feel too mad at her about it, because she was in such a fucked up mental state - and had been for many months - that she couldn't look at her own trauma objectively. It's pretty common, and as much as I hate to admit it, I fall into that trap a lot too.

It's not a secret that I don't like myself much. The degree to which I dislike myself might fluctuate depending on the current situation, but honestly, there's never really been a time that there was an absence of dislike.

And sometimes, I can look at it objectively and see it's no mystery why that is. Of course there have been other factors, but the brunt of it has always been my family, and even now that one of my brothers has functionally disowned me since five years ago, and my father's anger issues have been sanded down by stress, being in this house means it's impossible to escape the constant conditioning from my mother.

And sometimes I can say, of course I'm kind of fucked up, of course I always feel like most people kind of want to slap me, of course I'm always braced for a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response.

She's told me outright enough times that I'm her problem, her source of all contention, the person she's built a fucked up mental image of as just bad - selfish, mean, lazy, a liar, always out to spite her, always up to some nebulous badness -- she doesn't even need to say it anymore for it to be implicit in the way she slams her fists on anything in arm's reach, stomps her feet, slaps her face so loudly you can hear it from across the room, and lumps dramatically against the wall when I speak or ask her a question at least once on a daily basis, the way her voice when she addresses me is nearly always the kind of voice most people reserve for someone who's been trailing behind them being annoying for days on end.

It's been that way for most of my life, and with the social isolation in recent years, the vast bulk of my in-person human interactions are... that. There have only been a few years out of 38 during which I was far away from here. When have I really had the freedom not to feel like this?

And it might feel like it's my life's normal, but it's really fucking not normal. And sometimes I'm very aware of that.

The thing I can never shake though is that every time a friend stops being a friend, or when I think about the people who truly don't like being around me or dealing with me, it always feels like a confirmation that every awful thing she sees in me really is there.

I really want to find out if that goes away once I'm far away from her for good. I hope you guys will keep your fingers crossed for me, or sacrifice a virgin to the Job in a Different City gods, and that by this time next year, I'll be a little closer to hating myself a lot less.

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #10:

Living With War

(Rest assured Fair Reader, we'll get to this photo and its relationship with the album in question in good time; for now let's just wonder if Neil, on the right, is wearing blush or if he's blushing because he's just been seen associating with Stephen the Hutt, on the left. Again, we'll get there in good time! Now, on with the post...)

The teenagers I teach, who are all pretty awesome, arrive knowing almost nothing about modern events. Wait, they say, there was a war in Iraq? Are we talking about, like, recently? Were we alive? Wow. Dude, what'd you say? There were like two wars in Iraq? Were we in them? Iraq's a country, right? Who won?

Well, kids, no one won. But hundreds of thousands of people lost their lives. And millions are still suffering from the effects of the conflicts. And Iraq is, like totally, a country.

The teens come alive when you start to get into the details; I'm proud to stay pretty damn nonpartisan in the classroom but there's no way to teach these events without telling students the truth: the Bush administration lied. And I don't mean once. They lied over and over again for years. WMDs; links between Iraq and 9/11; government directed torture; death counts. And our country went along for the ride; we were so shell shocked by 9/11 that we, like totally, like literally, believed Iraq=Muslim + Saddam=Bad Guy therefore, War=Now.

Well not all of us bought it. I'm a very proud American and I did my patriotic duty by angrily protesting the Second Gulf War. I'm guessing many of you did too.

And when Neil Young woke up after years of shaggy dog Greendale story telling and Prairie Wind flatulence to rage against his adopted country's moral corruption, I felt relieved, proud and in sync with his anger.

Indeed, I'd argue that Living With War is a pretty cool chapter in Young's story. Not only was he right when he called us all out for being lazy and dumb, he also rehired his kick in the ass band from Eldorado and recorded everything with Ohio-level pace and boldness, writing and recording the album in less than two weeks and getting it out and into our ears within a month.

And just listen to the opening track! Young finds his riff on Old Black, nods at his six-cups-of-coffee drummer and then sounds immediately and deeply alive, shaking himself and all of us out of our Bush beer garden of complacency.

Cool, huh? It's almost 20 years later and George W. Bush's brand of homespun, ignorant evil appears quaint in comparison to the nonstop barrage of totalitarian terror being spouted on the campaign trail in and in the courts (seriously, if frozen embryos are now human beings why aren't refugees being welcomed with open arms and being offered all the jobs Americans like you and me rely on but refuse to do ourselves?) but I still feel pumped up when I listen to this song.

So why isn't the record a bigger deal? Why doesn't it shoulder its way into our thinking not just about Young but about that whole embarrassing era in our history? I'm afraid there are a few pretty good reasons why.

For one thing a lot of the writing sucks. In the earnest and almost soulful Roger and Out Young rhymes no words in the first verse, then decides to go big and connect "way" with "today" in the second verse, then shrugs and sets "today" alongside "yesterday" after that. This is coming from the guy who once wrote "roads stretch out like healthy veins, and wild gift horses strain the reigns." Come on Neil, confer with a dictionary.

One spot where the lyrics come alive in the upsetting and enjoyably silly The Restless Consumer. Check this frantic song out:

You can hear in the song that Young assembled a 100 person choir for this record and spent one 12 hour day teaching them to sing along with his best crazy grandpa voice on lines like:

Don't need no TV ad Telling me how sick I am Don't need to know how many people are like me Don't need no dizziness Don't need no nausea Don't need no side effects like diarrhea or sexual death

Roger that, Neil. When I see you live in April with the Horse (yes, I've got tickets, gods be praised) I promise I won't scream out from my cheap seats in the back about any of these topics you mention. But I will scream. Lots.

Another shortcoming on the record is Neil's unwillingness, or inability at that moment, to destroy and thereby uplift the songs with his own lead guitar.

Stroll through his wacky eclectic career and there are nearly no constants: one moment he's making violent computerized pop, the next he's impersonating Willie Nelson. By 2006 he had 40 years of proudly obstinate inconsistency under his belt. But Neil, at least when making band-oriented music, had - almost - always used a rhythm guitar player.

First there was Richie Furray and He Who Shall Not Be Named because he sucks.

(But that guitarist does appear, as we noted at the top, in today's opening photo from the Living with War era. You see, that's not Pizza the Hut standing with Neil in the image; it's You Know Who, or maybe we should call him You No Poo; Neil had a tour planned with Crosby, Satan and Nash long before he wrote and rushed out Living With War; then he foisted the record on them for their summer tour together; Stills was unimpressed by it all and complained a lot, probably because he'd voted for Bush in the first place and knew that the only people who still bought his records were dumb asses who'd followed his lead in the voting booth.)

Then along came Danny, Nils, Ben, and Poncho (and even Steve Cropper and the kids in Pearl Jam and Promise of the Reeled in Flounder). Occasionally, such as on Comes a Time and Old Ways, Neil used not one rhythm guitarist, but instead about 16 of them. He idolizes Hendrix but rarely tries to be him.

Living With War is, like the killer Eldorado, the snoozy Greendale and the confounding Le Noise that would soon follow, one of Neil's rare solo guitar attack moments. And, on this occasion anyway, it's a mistake.

Neil heard the album's basic tracks after his rushed and passionate recording session (he'd later release those first takes on their own as Living With War - In the Beginning) and knew there simply wasn't quite enough music to go around. He'd been too busy teaching the songs to the drummer, bass player and himself to remember to shred.

He could have summoned Poncho and given the whole project another week. He should have. Instead, he got all Bernard Shakey on us and brought in not just the 100 piece choir, who must have spent their 12 hour session alternatively inspired, snickering and baffled, but also a trumpeter. And we're not talking about Miles Davis and Don Cherry here.

Instead, it sounds like Neil stopped by the local high school, plucked the third chair from the marching band, then played slow enough to let him try, and fail, to keep up. Take a listen.

Even the choir and drunk trumpet weren't enough to entirely salvage such songs. You'll hear in the video above that Neil also brings back Re-ac-tor era space warfare sound effects and mixes in sound-clips of the Dubbya himself. This whole song and, for that matter, the whole album, is silly, inspired, simplistic, drunk and awesome all at once.

Sound like all the ingredients we need for another Shakey Sunday.

[marcusrobertobaq]

I'm to lazy to get on my game and take screenshots or look for a gameplay with these dialogues, so

X1202C_PBY_LINES_PC_X12CCOP01_VIOLENT01] {S}{1}Our guys shooting down those androids is all over the news. [X1202C_PBY_LINES_PC_X12CCOP02_VIOLENT02] {S}{1}Good: {2}let the world see. {3}Our job is to protect people, and that’s what we’re gonna do. [X1202C_PBY_LINES_PC_X12CCOP01_PACIFIST01] {S}{1}I still haven’t done my report on that android march… [X1202C_PBY_LINES_PC_X12CCOP02_PACIFIST02] {S}{1}Hey. {2}Stop calling it a march. {3}Humans march. {4}Androids just go batshit. [X1202C_PBY_LINES_PC_X12CCOP01_PACIFIST03] {S}{1}Right… Right… {2}Yeah.

Not a march, they say. Detroit Become Human Cops.

To play this game u gotta understand the law enforcement is officially against the android rebellion and civil rights movement in general, that's one of the reasons Hank just doesn't care bout the police by the end anymore and mf just gtfo.

In HPR Allen just confirms the orders are "arresting" androids or gunning 'em down if they resist. The DPD, the feds and the national guard are working on the same shit. I think Allen got a similar opinion to those cops or he really doesn't care what to call everything that's happening, he just wanna do his job even if he's impressed by Connor.

In a world where the androids won it would fall into the same issue we got nowadays, unfortunately androids would become "a minority" to get abused by cops - cuz that's one of the metaphors David Jaula uses in his shitty ass writing, it's explicit in the game.

So, no...i know u know what i'm criticizing.

I ain't talking about pov justifications or if the cops are wrong or right in "wanting to protect the city from defective androids that were tools taking care of kids few days ago and now are walking on the streets as if they're people", i'm talking about % of specific events happening. Be aware public opinion is a false alarm. U don't get support from everybody, u just shocked the whole world and they gonna act in a defensive way - public opinion supportive means some groups ain't hating u anymore and are actually supportive in androids having civil rights, what i bet doesn't make even half of the population - what should be something for a country where hating androids is almost a rule in a way u dehumanize 'em for 'em looking "too human" so u don't feel guilty at all. People questioning things to the android side is already a bad signal for a corrupt gov controlled by a megacorp like that, people questioning about it is enough to force the fucking president to do something. But will it be enough? I DOUBT IT.

Politics is also a dangerous game, we've been seeing propaganda war at least 3yrs in 2 major conflicts that still happening till today.

Internet posts won't do shit and i dare saying this is where android support in dbh falls, cuz we don't see any human marching with the androids, making protests in favor of androids. Not even the mfs that were protesting wanting jobs and android ban (cuz they were taking jobs).

But we see the opposite.

[awiola]

Normal update, autumn??? XXIII

Okay, so I thought it would be a nice, winter quarterly update but turns out the last one was titled summer and I guess going by calendar, winter barely started so it's??? autumn??? I guess??? Last day of the year but autumn, sure, let's go with that. That being the case, I have no new year's pic for y'all cause I can't draw I was devving uhh, rly hard, let's say. Totally.

Anyway, the mushroom jam has ended and I planned to have a release update BUT THEN I DIDN'T FINISH THE GAME ON TIME YET AGAIN, who would've thought, so, like, there's nothing. I mean, something exists but yeah >_> I'll write a devlog when it finally looks presentable. Moving on...

Current game stuff

The spooktober game has been finished, kinda - The enmity of dead things. It, well, it works and it contains the full script and everything but lacks both art and music cause I couldn't finish it on time laziness goes brrr. Then I wanted a break and worked on other games and kinda left it like that... So that's the first item on my "Finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list. All in all it wasn't a total failure and I had fun for the most part. Committing to my bad decisions [look at the textbox] is actually the main cause the game wasn't finished on time... You live and don't learn.

The failure of the year... Or quarter at least - Mushroom game. Despite being technically published to add it to the jam, it's so unfinished I won't even link it here. And it's all my fault cause I was being lazy and, as usual, forgot I can't actually program. Yeah...

Helped with Cool Days. There's really not much of my work there, I honestly considered making a new category for games I kinda helped with but tbh the amount of work actually finished was close to zero but hey, it's still more than nothing so Check it out, it has cool graphics.

The ace teens game got shelved/postponed and it's not my fault this time but instead we're working on a fantasy kinda thing for Ace jam [and maybe also Zack jam while we're at it but that might've been said in jest]. Fortunately it's small enough I don't expect any delays. I can say it involves a golem who isn't a humanoid (灬˘╰╯˘灬)♥｡･ﾟ

Now for the big thing.

Fanfares, please.

🎉🎉🎉

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME - is a game for winter jam which also happens to be a demo cause we ran out of time but! - it will be finished soon-ish. I'll share more details in the release devlog so if the link to the game works already, that means the page's up and so is all the info. If it doesn't work, check again in a few hours but I'm assuming most people who actually read all that will do so post winter jam anyway.

Genre wise it's an otome chat sim comedy that's extremely self indulged and I'm not ashamed of that. Gotta make games for yourself and all that. Though, again, my own conribution to the development process remains minimal. I'm truly becoming the idea guy.

The "Finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list aka the stuff that should've been finished already but isn't

Umm, yeah, everything. Or, to be more specific, Mushroom game and Enmity take priority here but all the other games that needed some quality of life adjustments like making the web build work on mobile etc are also included [which is kinda funny cause a lot of them could be corrected in like an hour if I actually sat and did just that].

It's been more than three years since I released Argousze and yes, you gessed it, it's also unfinished. Which is extra funny in a pathetic way cause it was supposed to be a low effort game with, like, 2k words of wordcount. To be fair I kinda dropped it cause I couldn't design my aliens but maybe I'll actually get a good idea for once and manage to release it on its fourth anniversary. That'd be nice.

Other than that, well... That's more of a resolution than anything but I should stop constantly joining new teams and all... And either take a proper dev break or work on ye olde projects waiting for me since the beginning of HS. I'll become older than my oldest LI before I finish them at this point lol

Pariiish noootiiiceees

This year we're gonna have two new jams instead of one. Stuff happened and yeah. No links just yet cause not only are the pages not finished but there's also no planned date/duration beyond 'sometime in the later part of the year'.

The first jam is Tentacle jam which, I'm pretty sure, would bring us eroges. This was not my intention and all kind of sfw tentacles are allowed but tbh as long as there's a proper story, even a nukige would pass. Basically the rules remain like in all the previous jams I hosted.

The second jam is Insect [adjacent] jam which actually accepts all kinds of arthropods but it started as just insect jam and I wanted to keep the name. So yeah. Obviously more detailed rules of what's allowed would be written on the page when it's up properly and not in a half dead state like right now.

Incidentally, whatever the date ends up being, both of these jams would be hosted at the same time so if you wanted to make a story taking place underwater or something, you could submit it to both of these jams. Neat, right?

That's it for this year.

Over.

[fearless-flower]

Commissioned the wonderfully talented @sadfishkid to draw our dnd gang and they all turned out absolutely stunning 😍💕

First up is high elven storm sorcerer Ernest played by @teacupsinspace with his pigeon Vivi on his shoulder

Next is my dumb child Kieran who is a Drow Rogue/Fighter

Fiske (half-dragon?? Trickster Cleric) and Gerd (Dwarven Grandpa and Cleric) are both @potatosoda‘s characters.

Last but not least we have best girl Zamira (Tiefling Bard/Cleric) played by @brandnewsetofbones​ (og post)

EDIT: might as well also put in our favorite chaotic gay eco terrorist Druid Nika aka our DM's oc/npc @floralprintshark / @chaos-burst​ (this one is an older commission but also drawn by @sadfishkid​ obviously :D) og post link

NOW THEY’RE ALL TOGETHER!!!!!

[ohworm-writes]

hello! :) so u know how kuon has a crush on sniper right ? can i get an imagine where reader is jealous bc of kuon, cuz u know, her crush on sniper etc etc (sorry i'm just vv lazy at typing), and how sniper reacts to it ?? can u make it like they're still friends but have mutual feelings for each other as they hang out as a unit, and they get together in the end bc sum confessions happened !! sorry if u don't get it i'm rlly bad at explaining but thank u in advance if u do this !! <33

High-Rise Invasion/Tenkuu Shinpan: Sniper Mask Boyfriend Imagine

high-rise invasion/tenkuu shinpan masterlist

‼ Jealous Reader (over Kuon) + Make up + Confession ‼

Featuring: Sniper Mask, Yuri Honjo, Mayuko Nise (implied), Kuon Shinzaki (implied)

Warnings: frustrated Y/n, crushes, jealousy

a/n - good GODS this has been in my inbox for a while and i’m so so so sorry for not posting it way sooner! hopefully you see this anon, and i hope you enjoy!

content below the cut!

you had developed a crush on the man in the mask ever since you first joined Yuri's little group

you couldn't really tell what it was the drew you to him

he was silent, dismissive, and he was a Mask for goodness sake!

but none of that deterred you from the attraction you garnered for him

you always found yourself trying to interact with him

whether it was offering your help with something that he was doing, or simply keeping him company

most times he brushed you off, walking away and not giving you an answer

other times he silently accepted your offer

those times the two of you would sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's presence

you cherish moments like these for a very specific reason

Kuon

now you had nothing against the girl!

... at first

she seemed nice enough, always eager to help, and full of ignorant innocence

but then you realized her (very obvious) crush on the masked man

the way she got flustered around him so easily

the way she clung to him like a lost child

at first, you thought maybe she saw him as a parental figure, seeing how young she was

but that thought was (very) quickly thrown to the wind when you saw her wrapped up in his jacket, blushing like the schoolgirl she was and giggling to herself

so what she liked him? you liked him too, maybe the two of you could bond over that!

that's what you told yourself

of course, you never acted on it

it was simple, you were too jealous to do so

you noticed how Sniper Mask welcomed all her little instances without a care in the world

not giving a damn when she clung to him

or batting an eye at her obvious fangirling

it pissed you off

naturally, you began to avoid Kuon

and Sniper Mask simultaneously

you avoided the two of them whenever you could

when you saw them walking towards you, you kept to the opposite side of the wall and walked quickly past them

when you all usually ate together, you picked up your food and ate outside

you were simply, undeniably jealous

you didn't think Sniper Mask cared about it, not that you could tell under his mask

but in actuality, he was confused as to why you avoided him all of the sudden

so, he opted to ask you one day

You shut the door to the dining room rather aggressively as you exited, but you couldn't care less. You let your body slump against the adjacent wall, your plate of food resting on your lap.

Today had been... exhausting, to say the least. Kuon was on her usual actions of pining over 'Mr. Mask', crossing your way a few more times than you would have liked. During your meeting earlier with her and Yuri, your fellow mouthless masked allies, she had the gall to talk on and on about how much she adored him.

You hated it.

You looked down at your food, a scowl finding its place on your features. You glared at it, pushing the pieces around with your fork, not noticing a door open and close right in front of you.

"Jesus, if that food was alive, it would be 6 feet under with the glare you're giving it." You hear a gruff voice call from in front of you. A voice you would rather not be hearing right now.

You continue to move around the food, staying silent as the man awkwardly stands in front of you, unsure of what to do with himself in this situation. "Is it, uh, okay if I sit here?" He asks, which finally makes you look up.

He had a plate of food between his own hands, his jacket gone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His mask covered his face, per usual, but it seemed much more lopsided than usual.

You give him a shrug in response, looking back down at your food again. He stands there for a moment, before taking a seat right next to you, your knees almost touching. "You don't mind if I eat with you, right?"

His question makes your eye twitch. Was he seriously trying to be all buddy-buddy with you now? You shrugged again, not giving him as much as a single word.

You heard him sigh, setting his food to the side before he speaks again. "Alright, what's going on?" He asks, making your body tense up. "Nothing." You shoot back, scowling.

"What happened to the Y/n that stayed up and talked about their life for hours? What happened to the Y/n that told me horrible jokes to try and get a reaction out of me? Huh? What happened to them?"

That broke you.

You were angry, furious even. Was he trying to blame this on you? You didn't do anything wrong! If it wasn't for Kuon, maybe you would still be that person! If it wasn't for her, you could still be friends with him! You could be-

"What?" You hear him say softly, much softer than his previous tone. Shit, did you say that out loud? "Yeah, you did." He says again, looking at you with a concerned expression on his face, not that you could tell.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out. I just- I’ve been-" You stutter, trying to find the right words. He laughs at that, actually laughs at it.

His laugh is hearty, warm, almost inviting you to laugh along with him. You don't, but he quickly composes himself, making your head turn towards him.

"Why on Earth were you jealous of Kuon?" He asks honestly, watching at how the invisible gears turn in your head, searching for an answer. You sigh heavily, running a hand across your face as you shake your hands while you speak.

"I just- she’s always there with you. She's latched onto you 24/7! I can't get 5 minutes alone with you before she comes barging in." You rant, frustration evident in your shaky voice.

"I just wanted to be your friend, be close with you. I can never do that because she's-she's there." You groan, hugging yourself with your arms. "I sound like a selfish idiot now, huh?"

You laugh dryly, frowning. He sighs, but a smile plays at his lips. "Y/n." He begins, his hand resting you your forearm. "You know she would never purposefully do that. She just, she has an infatuation with me I guess."

He sighs dramatically, earning a chuckle from you. "But." He tells you, watching your eyes as he speaks. "That doesn't mean I didn't miss you."

Your heart skips a beat at his comment, face flushing softly. "Kuon also misses you. You might not have caught onto it, but she looks up to you." He explains, smiling at how your expression softens, mumbling a soft 'she does?' to him.

He nods, laughing once more. "Come on, have dinner with the rest of us. We can't have you sitting alone out here anymore." You roll your eyes, but take him up on his word. He leads you back to the other, Kuon frantically waving over to the two of you the second you pass through the door.

"Y/n! Come sit with me!" She yells excitedly. Maybe you were wrong about her.

after that interaction, the three of you were all on much better terms

yes, kuon still had her habits, but he toned them WAY down after you explained to her how it made you feel

she teased the hell out of you for it too

you, of course, shrugged it off

but you never told her that she was wrong

you were happy to be on good terms with Sniper Mask again

he made a lot more time for you

your old interactions coming back at full force, and some new ones

he loved to take you on little walks on the high rises

he also made it a point to teach you how to shoot his rifle

which was terrifying, but exhilarating

you fell for him harder and harder every day

one day, you ranted your feelings out to Kuon

and while she wasn't surprised, it warmed her heart to see how much you loved him

yes, she crushed on him too, but that didn't take away from the obvious connection she saw between the two of you

unbeknownst to you, Sniper Mask had come to her about the same things

his usually cold demeanor broke whenever he talked with you

he genuinely enjoyed your company, he wanted more of it

and then some

so, she put a plan together

operation "get Mr. Mask and Y/n together" is a go!

she took it all very seriously

making sure you guys get paired together for scouting missions? that's all her

convincing Sniper Mask to get you little gifts and things? of course

overall, the best wing-woman you could ask for

however, the one thing she didn't have anything to do with was his confession to you

he could have used her help with it, that much was clear

but he wanted to tell you how he felt, no help necessary

Sniper Mask had told you earlier this morning to meet you at his room when the sunset before he rushed to get out of your vicinity like you were a plague. Granted, it hurt your feelings, but you couldn't stand him up.

You knocked gently on the wooden door, stepping back and waiting patiently for it to open. After about a minute, while you had heard nothing, you went to knock again.

Your efforts were proved useless as the door swung open hastily, revealing a disheveled Sniper Mask. His usual blazer and fedora were long forgotten, his hair messy, strands pointing this way and that. His mask sat lopsided on his face, still covering it fully.

"H-hey Y/n." He mumbled out, you offered him a wave as he awkwardly shuffled to the side, opening the door as an incentive for you to come in. You stepped inside, walking to the center of the room as you heard him close the door behind you.

You turned to speak to him again, but those thoughts were cast aside as you felt his hands settle onto your cheeks and his lips molding with yours. It startled you, you're eyes open in shock as you looked at him. His mask was completely off, thrown somewhere in the room, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world.

You quickly melted into the kiss, bringing your hands up to gently hold onto his forearms. He hummed, taking a moment before pulling away, leaving the two of you to gasp for air as he rested his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes to meet his, full of adoration.

"I, uh, I think I'm in love with you?" It was more of a question, but you took it happily. You laughed softly, your fingers rubbing small circles in his forearms.

"Was that what that was?"

[vespersposts]

Wildchild [9]

Hi lovelies ⛲,

I hope you are cool and happy, perhaps with your mind already on the holidays, or full of time to devote to your passions. 👒

🌾This chapter no particular warnings, so I will leave you to your reading.

As always thank you for your support and chats in the various pillowtalks and DMs, you are a joy!

💣PS: I apologize in advance for any grammatical and/or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language (bear with me!).

➿Genre: long story, contains angst, fluff and smut parts that will be reported in relevant chapter post.

💮Wildchild Masterlist💮

🔖: @theweasleysrule , @theehcneypot

Ask for tags in DM!

Satsuki's eyes almost glaze over as she looks at you, facing each other, in your perfectly buttoned and pressed uniform, as if it were the first day of school at Too Academy. She smiles at you, speaks softly and squeezes your arm as if you were the love of her life, not Tetsu. 

The schoolyard is hot, but the shade of the large trees in the garden gives some relief to both you students and the droves of parents and onlookers who have gathered for the closing ceremony of the course presentation.

You hold her hand and ask her to accompany you to the music club boys,so you can have a few moments alone.

"Why don't we go to the summer fair together? Tomorrow night? Or Sunday, the fireworks will be spectacular this year! Let's put on the yukata, make ourselves pretty and-" she pauses, seeing your gaze lower. 

"I won't stay that long, I'm going back to Kyoto tomorrow morning" you inform her, knowing you're disappointing her, once again.

"Move the train" she tells you, clinging to your hand.

"No" you reply simply, loosening your contact to massage your wrist.

"Does it still hurt?" she asks, surprised.

"It will hurt forever, Satsuki, but you can't live believing that something broken can work as new, neither my wrist nor my relationship with Daiki" you sigh.

" There are limits to what I can do, just as there are limits to what I can now be able to feel. No matter how hard I try, I can't go any further this time" you conclude.

"Is it because of how you feel about Akashi or-" the question dies on her lips as she saw you shake your head.

"It's because I don't feel what I felt before, I guess”  you tell her, unable to look at her .

You remain silent for a few seconds, then the music club president's voice brings you back to reality. 

"Too bad, 'I guess' means nothing to me" Satsuki tells you, under her breath, just before introducing herself to the newcomer.

You hear the applause, see the happiness on the face of the young girl with whom you have just duetted, and reach out to hug her and congratulate her, just as you wish someone had done with you at her age.

You look into the audience and see Aomine's parents applauding you, her father with a big smile on his lips, Natsume raising her hand in a greeting that you return. If only your parents had been even remotely interested in you, maybe you would have been a better person, less shaky. 

You follow the guys from the music club backstage, wishing each of them the best, receiving kisses and hugs in return, until his lazy voice reaches you from behind your back, interrupting everyone's chatter.

"If you don't want to be late for your prize, you'd better follow me" he tells you, pointing to an undefined spot behind him, toward which he heads without even waiting for your response, much to everyone's surprise. 

" Captain Wakamatsu would have at least waited for me, you know, Aomine-kun?" you inform him, gaining his attention.

"Too bad I'm not him, right?" he smiles at you, stopping, beckoning you with his hand, which he then shoves into his pocket once side by side you reach the stage for the awards ceremony.

You smile with relief at the principal who hands you the award and a bouquet of flowers, because you know the time for departure is approaching.

You entertain yourself for a few more minutes with the students and their parents, shake hands, take photos and pretend to be comfortable, as you were during all those days.

"We're having a party tonight, are you coming? I can pick you up, I have to catch up with Aomine too, anyway" captain Imayoshi's voice reaches your ears as he sits beside you on the dry-stone wall of the lawn, watching the slow flow of the audience.

"Thank you, but I have an early train, I don't think I can make it" you smile at him, placing the huge bouquet of flowers at your side. He adjusts his glasses on his nose and smiles, that half smile of his, that you already know is an omen of bad news.

"I still don't understand if this sweetened, posh version of you is real, or if you've really changed that much" he tells you with a light laugh.

"I don't get the point, senpai. We all grow up, even you are different from how I remember" you tell him, crossing your calfs and swinging your legs as you always do when you are nervous.

"That's true but ... You have really become a different person, even though they have a hard time interacting with you! I didn't expect that" he explains, pointing to the small group of your childhood friends.

"I do what's best for me" you explain, and he again smiles at you.

"Good" he nods, with an expression that says all the opposite, then turning to the young boy who has joined you "Take her to the club tonight, she needs it!" he tells, leaving you alone. 

You stand in silence for a moment, until the captain turns away.

"Even the mean glass guy now?" he asks, extending his arm to help you up.

"He’s charming, actually " you admit, retrieving the bouquet and placing it in his hand.

You see him shrug his shoulders and grumbling something about your sanity, you reply with something equally silly, you finish your little scuffle in the school lobby and a moment later you are on the walkway, just like old times. 

You look around as you walk back toward the house, as if searching for something, a sign.

Daiki walks beside you with a slow pace, the bouquet of flowers in his arms attracting the attention of a few passersby, who think you are a romantic couple on a first date, glances full of tenderness and curiosity, but also of appreciation for your good fortune. 

After all, it's always like that with him. 

Stopping at the traffic lights, you catch yourself observing him: his firm, harmonious features, his soft dark hair, those eyes so piercing, his lips so warm  that so many times have given you pleasure, his broad shoulders and his strong back that has always given you that special thrill.

It was all so simple before.

That road was taken most of the time at a quick pace, amidst meaningless words, stolen kisses and giggles, with the only purpose of getting home, badly closing the door and throwing yourselves into each other. Every day was a new chance to love each other more, to seek each other out more, to sink even deeper into the intoxication of that all-encompassing feeling, to show each other how important each of you was in the other’s life.

So close that you thought nothing could tear you apart.

"You ok, babe?" he asks, grazing your knuckles with his fingers before taking your hand to walk across. 

"Yeah, I got distracted because it's been a long time since I walked this street" you lie, letting him sink his fingers into yours.

"Did you miss Tokyo?" he asks with a slight smile on his lips.

"Of course, it's natural" you reply, feeling his thumb move over your wrist, the pressure generating a mild ache, the reward for that moment of weakness.

"Why didn't you come back earlier, then?" he urges you.

"Because Kyoto is a city that makes me feel I matter, in Tokyo I feel like one of many" you admit, loosening your contact and taking your hands behind your back.

When you reach Daiki's house, the sky begins to tingle with the colours of sunset and a light wind moves the flowers of the lavender bush in Natsume's garden, who runs to embrace you, and to whom you entrust the bouquet of flowers that she arranges in the centre of the pretty table that has just been set.

"My kids!" she tells you all smugly, as she hands you a glass of cold lemonade, and then drags you into her husband's office, who has selected the best of your childhood photo memories for the purpose.

Daiki on the first day of kindergarten, all strutting in his blue apron, his yellow helmet pulled down over his eyes, like a really tough guy.

You and Satsuki ruffled and barefoot in Shinichi's arms, in the garden of that house, still deserted with flowers. 

Daiki and Satsuki competing to see who could drink a glass of banana milk faster.

The three of you and Tetsuya in front of the Teiko sign.

Testu and Daiki smiling and exhausted after a championship game.

Daiki lifts up Natsume. 

"See how mama's boy? So proud, not even if he was the groom..." his father comments, laughing at his son's embarrassed expression.

"Leave it to those who still have the bod!" you hear the latter snort, who however proudly looks at the photo in question, making you all laugh heartily.

"When he'll be married, I'll cry every day!" his mother recoils, earning a hug.

"Do you understand what I have to put up with? It's always like that, two against one! " his father informs you, shaking his head resignedly.

You smile, flipping through the pages of the album not to ruin everything, even though you already know Shinichi has noticed your sudden change of mood. As soon as the lovebirds leave the room to put dinner on the table, he approaches you, drawing your attention to one picture in particular.

"I've always loved this one" he tells you, taking it out of the album to look at it closely, with a slight smile "It was impossible not to see how close you two were" he adds, handing you the rectangle of photo paper.

You sigh, because you know what he really means.

Two teens studying together, sitting next to each other in a flower garden, that's what you were trying to look like, sure to be skilled enough to keep the truth to yourself.

Too bad that anyone who saw that picture would have understood what you, in those days, thought you were so good at keeping a secret. 

Your head on his shoulder, his open hand on your hip, a speech that had brought Daiki's beautiful face to smile at you.

It was only at that moment that you realised how much you sought that kind of intimacy, back then.

It's embarrassing.

You look for something to say in your defence, but your lips remain still as you look at that boy's father, who is waiting for nothing more than confirmation of his wish.

"Well? Are you coming?" young Aomine tells you in an annoyed tone, appearing briefly at the door only to be followed to the garden.

Sitting next to each other, you feel his arm behind your back, just like in the days of the photo.

It has probably become his way over time; after all, he has no reason to be under pressure; he is at home, surrounded by his family. 

Too bad the same thing cannot be said about you.

 Shinichi's words have weakened you, and now your brain is telling you that you need to do something to show him and his wife how wrong they are, how misplaced their smiling, encouraging looks are, how indifferent you are to the situation, but especially to their son.

You take a bite and smile at Natsume, for it is delicious.

"I can make it for you whenever you want, but you need to visit more often" she tells you softly, filling your glass with cool water.

"I'll try but between classes and foundation activities, I don't have much time" you admit, amusing your nearby man, whose laughter draws everyone's attention.

"Come on" he exclaims in irritation "You have time for all that Akashi equestrian crap and you don't have time to go back home to see your friends? Satsuki chased you for weeks before you bothered to give her an answer, four-eyes has been pestering me all afternoon to have you at the party, but the only thing on your mind is bloody Kyoto!" he concludes, leaning his chopsticks against the rim of the bowl.

"You're right, but your attitude makes it easier to choose" you reply with a hint of nastiness, to which he would like to respond in kind, but which his father's intervention nips in the bud.

"You can consider holidays, I'm sure a few days off would do you good" he smiles, as his wife announces the arrival of dessert.

"That's a good idea" you admit, as you feel Daiki's hand slide away from the chair to reply to a series of messages that have been metronome to your conversation all evening.

"Imayoshi will be here in an hour, I'd better go take a shower" he concludes, taking a couple of mochi for the ride and abandoning the table, noisily pulling back the chair.

Thank heavens, you can finally breathe.

"When he gets like that it's because he wants to draw attention, he's not mad at you, don’t worry!" his mother tells you, slightly moving the plate of sweets for you to take another one.

You smile, accepting the invitation, and grab that soft treat.

"It's my fault, too " you admit. "I went away, focused so much on the entrance exam that I seemed indifferent to them. Even Satsuki told me the same thing, in a better way " you conclude, intercepting Mr. Aomine’s gaze.

"Does the Akashi family treat you well?" Shinichi asks you, taking a sip of tea.

"Yes, they are very nice " you nod. "Seijuro helped me with the admission test and all the practices, he is so mature and responsible. His father is a man who is only outwardly threatening; he even contacted my parents to make sure they understood the importance of the path I was taking, although I don't think they care" you finish with a hint of bitterness.

"They should be very proud, instead" Natsume tells you, ready to listen to your secret.

"Maybe in the future, if I can prove something. We haven't been a family since granny died. She used to keep us together, now my parents are too busy rebuilding their lives, to care about me" you admit "Since he moved to Osaka, my father is always missing, and my mother ... Well ... She ... That is, she's expecting a baby with her partner so..." you conclude, lowering your gaze to the buckram tablecloth.

"So she will have two children to love " Mr. Aomine reassures you, taking your hand.

"I hope so " you say, looking at the empty seat next to you, where Daiki's cell phone is ringing for the third time in five minutes.

"Yoshiko?" Natsume reads, retrieving the phone in time to see yet another call.

"Ah, she. She's the one he's dating. We'd better bring him the phone, maybe it's important, considering how much she bugs!" you huff as the ringer starts for the umpteenth time.

"Thank you honey!" his mother smiles at you, smartly handing you the device.

You leave the adults to their talk and quickly cross the garden and kitchen, finding the staircase to the sleeping area on the left. You clutch the phone in your hand and slowly walk down the hallway to the end, to his room, from where no sound comes. 

If he were still in the shower, you could put the phone down on the bed and leave, without taking unnecessary risks. 

Standing still on the threshold, you decide to wait for some sound or movement to reveal to you where the recipient is in the process of preparation. 

Daiki's room is always the same: meticulously chaotic, colourful, full of clothes abandoned on every flat surface. He has none of his trophies in sight, apart from the last one thrown in the middle of the huge pillow-filled bed, which will probably end up in the same box as all the others.

The only clue to his passion for basketball is the Too jersey, the one he wore during that crucial game and which you had given back him framed, a few weeks later. You had suggested he hang it above his bed, as a reminder of the promise he made to you on the sweet night of that bitter day, perhaps with the secret hope that you would be the first and last to see it. 

"As if! " you sigh, disturbed by yet another call that the cell phone in your hands receives. You hear his footsteps move closer, see his tall figure coming out of the bathroom, and thank heaven he is fully dressed. 

"Yoshiko!" you inform, waiting for him to reach you at the threshold, though he quickly makes it clear who is in charge, sitting down on the bed and forcing you to join him.

"She'll call back" he smiles, looking up at you.

"You better call her, she's been looking for you for half an hour" you suggest, pointing to the cell phone at his side.

"No " he teases, adjusting the collar of his pale grey T-shirt.

"Have you become that kind of man Aomine-kun?" you ask him, amused by his perseverance.

"The kind who hates to be tracked down? So I was born with it, you should know. You see, the girl you took over, loved when I was a little wild with her, but maybe Akashi wiped your memory too" he concludes, pulling his lips into a smirk.

"Perhaps" you muse, sitting down next to him, taking his phone in your hands and discovering with pleasure that, by typing in your date of birth, you could still have access to all his secrets.

"Let me see what a wild boy does, maybe my memory will come back" you laugh, shaking off hot incoming messages and then the gallery under his astonished gaze, not really paying attention to either, but feeling inside you the satisfaction and need to put him on the spot. 

"Listen to my girl Yuka: Aomine-kun is so cool. So tall and handsome wanna... Oh, I see..." you smile mischievously, leaning on his shoulder, showing him on the display the part of the message that you are not going to repeat "She's pretty bold,isn't she? But the question is ... Will she be wild enough? " you ask him, trying to ignore his gaze fixed on your lips.

"You used to do that even before" he tells you quietly "And I used to push you to the edge, but only to finish the game my way. You loved it my way, back then. Do you remember how this game used to end?" he asks you, immediately returning the issue.

You barely nod, as if the question irritates you, but you try actually  to hold back your urge to remember. 

The phone rings in your hands again, you press the green button and Yoshiko's voice pierces your ears.

"Just a moment, I'll put him through" you tell her softly, forcing him once and for all to take that call. You leave the room and slowly make your way back down the corridor, back up the stairs and stop in the kitchen, where Natsume calls your attention, showing you a large bag full of sweets and food that she gives you as a survival kit for the return journey.

What if you had it all wrong?

What if that was your happy place?

You feel your eyes sparkle and your nose pinch as the woman hugs you tightly, telling you that you are like a daughter to her.

"Don't stay away for so long anymore" she whispers in your ear.

[kart0]

meds update plus rant: day 20

almost 3 weeks guys ! I'm doing it !! I need to schedule an appointment cuz I only have 10 pills left oof

hmm...folks, not gonna lie... these few days have been tough.. I started becoming more and more frustrated cuz I felt like they weren't working ( days 16-18 ) and my mom also asked me a few days ago "so... Dani... have you been feeling better ?" in which I replied "nope" and she asked "do you feel any different at all ?" and also again "nope"

btw it's not PMS lmao I swear

and then I got even more upset that, maybe I might just be undiagnosed with adhd ? cuz I'm still struggling with doing tasks, procrastinating, forgetting stuff, getting overwhelmed easily, getting angry easily. I had to change my bed sheets and I really started crying. I am so tired.. and it's hard to change the sheets cuz of my mattress and the shape of my bed and also I have to fold and put the comforter a certain way and its not exactly a simple and fast task and it can mess up the sheets and make everything look and feel wonky and... like fr I am not exaggerating... and then also I just. started going on a spiral yet again :(

I feel so insecure and I just wanna cry all the time. because I'm so tired. I keep forgetting or procrastinating to fix my sleep schedule. it's 2am rn...

I feel horrible with my appearance, I hate my face and my body, I hate everything about how I look. and I feel very ugly all the time, I'm too self conscious and too self aware of my surroundings and I can't never relax... don't slouch, don't show your teeth when speaking or smiling, don't move your head too much, don't touch your hair, don't stand this way it makes you look weird. I'm exhausted, why can't I just accept how I look...

I feel dumb, and untalented. I feel lazy, and stupid, because I keep seeing people around me succeed and I can never do that. yes I am fucking envious of people. no I do not wish them bad things but all I can think about is.. that could've been me if I had tried harder. if I had tried enough. if I forced myself to do it.

and it's taking such a toll on me rn I feel stupid and dumb and lime a failure.

I'm frustrated cuz I can't improve my artstyle either, nor my poses or composition. my art is so repetitive and unoriginal, and uncreative. predictable. forgettable.

boring.

n also, no one fucking interacts with me on twitter and I don't blame them cuz I never post art, not interact with them, and all I ever do is cry and vent like a fucking loser. who wants to read this shit anyways. but what makes it worse is that I'm currently at my peak, I have never had this much followers ever. and I know it doesn't mean worth but I can't seem to change this mindset

which makes me feel like such an imposter... how can I have this many followers when I don't post shit. when my art is shit. when I am a shit person. why are they following me, I don't deserve anything. and now it's even more pressure I want them to be happy I want them to not see how much of a loser I really am.

and I just. I don't know. I could do such great things. I know I have the talent. I know I am smart. but why can't I just be better, use my time more wisely, and improve myself. I am such a waste. that's how I feel most of the time, I'm wasting myself, wasting my time, my parents money. I'm so tired of being stupid and not doing what I have to do just cuz I don't want to do it.

it's a bad bad bad day and week. I guess this is the confirmation that the meds aren't working, or haven't started working yet. I just want to die

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

[dalliscar]

i was tagged by @bowiepop ty darling 💌

who was your first favourite artist? depeche mode, bowie, duran duran, omd, rush

who are your current favourite? soda stereo, blur, virus, tokyo, lush, inxs, a-ha

are you into musicals? which ones/why not? a little bit. grease, hairspray and west side story are cool

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? many!! i'm lazy to list but there's songs that i listen just when i'm feeling really sad or extremely happy. i just believe that music helps change our mood, thats all.

what’s your preferred way of listening to music?  (time of day, medium, situation) all day, if not on spotify, then my record player

what would you say is the most niche music you listen to? idk really kskrjejjfh

what’s your favourite music related movie/tv show that’s not a musical? uh,,, i love almost famous, a few biopics of my fav musicians and documentaries about music in general

albums or playlists? albums!!!

favourite albums? oof, i think i could pass hours talking about each one ksjdjsjdn

is there an artist you’re trying to get into? theres a lot!! i already made a list of albums to listen, the thing is: im always lazy, when i start listen to music, i just think about recent recomendations friends gave me or my current fave songs,,, so yeah i need to explore more bands and genres

whose music do you find overhyped? idk if its because i used to listen too much and today is not my thing anymore, but hair metal. i do like a few artists but theres other ones that is just too boring or more of the same. i still like the genre tho

what’s an underrated song? such a tricky question skdjjsjd i dont know it depends

what’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? bass solos!! and really strong drums. recently i've been loving guitar solos too!! and i wont even start talking about synth solos cause i will not shut up

what song is better acoustic? to be honest im not a fan of 'acoustic versions', maybe one song or other but it's not my first option

what’s the worst song of all time? depends of the point of view, right? cause theres few songs i see people saying that its an anthem and stuff and i go like 'uhhhhh dude i have bad news for u, this ones bad !'

do you put individual songs on repeat? if so, for how long and how often? yes!! honestly, if i really enjoyed the song, i'll put it on repeat for 50 or 100, but im boring, soon i get tired if i listen too much so i give a break to not ruin my hype for the song

do you make your own playlists? if so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title? for sure!! i've made almost 50 playlists, but just 8 are open on spotify because im insecure lmao. im not good to playlist names but theres one called 'and she was a runway model' that is just my fave songs to listen while i do my makeup and other called 'br wave' thats just brazilian new wave/post punk songs.

headphones or earbuds? earbuds!!

do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? if you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? sometimes i try some lead vocals but i rather harmonize cause i find my voice embarrassing

a musical confession: i've tried a few times create a acc on rateyourmusic or medium just to do some reviews, but i just cant, i mean, i am too sentimental that i cant make a long article with clever words saying what i thought about the song or album. i never see the technical side, but just the feeling the album caused in me, if was good or bad... i envy people who can do a review without sound a complete idiot who dont know how to talk (aka me)

now i tag: @musicacuantica , @andypartridges , @dedicatedfollowerofrock , @thischarmingjaz , @eleventh-earl and @carlpalmer if you guys want to 💓