#been meaning to jump back into the essay game for a while now just didn't know what to write about. this hit the spot though !!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

During our Sly 3 coverage on the podcast i had said that the main theme of A Cold Alliance is morality and, although i still stand by that, it wasn't until this summer's ice cream discourse that i noticed how this is presented: antithesis. Similarly to how the theme of gender is explored through appearance vs reality in Flight of Fancy, i think morality's portrayal is build upon the various antitheses and contrasts in this one. Let's discuss.

Immediately, the obvious centre piece for the theme is Sly & the Panda King. At surface level, you've got good vs evil, blue vs red, hero vs villain, pretty basic stuff. The odd pairing's juxtaposition is so striking that it forms the initial premise for the episode until we're introduced to Tsao, whose addition to the mix as a deeply rotten individual creates an entire moral spectrum on top of the standard "good vs evil" and positions Panda King right in the middle of it: Sly might not follow the law but he represents the "good"; Tsao's just a piece of shit like downright evil; Panda King is a villain but not necessarily "villainous". I love how SP included Panda King's mirror dilemma because it further paints this character as the true, ambiguous neutral between the two sides, especially with him mentioning the yin and the yang. In the antithesis between Sly and Tsao, the two are easily distinguishable because they're so far apart - hence Sly telling Tsao to his face that he's the worst guy he's ever faced - leaving Panda King to choose who to gravitate towards (i'm just realising that we could have easily been treated to Panda King reverting back to being a bastard and betraying the gang following the whole "hero and villain team up to take down more evil villain" storyline akin to Slade helping the Titans defeat Trigon). Here it's also worth mentioning that Carmelita's presence in this episode serves to match the moral extremism of Tsao, with her being the ultimate agent of "good" as opposed to his evil, but i'll get to her later.

Then, we have fire & ice. I mean yeah duh it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. What i'm referring to here more specifically is how the weather and temperature are matched to the subplots at hand. This is something very briefly mentioned in Fire in the Sky, with Sly saying that the very sight of Carmelita warms his heart, and A Cold Alliance kinda builds on that. In the analogy of fire & ice, the Panda King finding his zen in his Master Pai Mei get-up is the serene and silent snow, tranquil and white, pure; whereas Tsao is the fire that seeks to destroy that, his hatred and cruelty being destructive, blazing. He's associated with the colour red & explosions: his rooster's "mohawk", the fire-breathing dragon he summons, the exploding vampires (Panda King is also associated with explosions because of his fireworks, but i'd argue it's slightly different because of the blue streaks they leave behind and are more like his form of expression as seen in his Sly 1 introductory cutscene). There's also Murray's heartbreak over the van being manifested as the literal block of ice it's stuck in. It's hard, unyielding and stubborn.

In a similar vein, we've got old & new. I'm going to keep this one brief but part of the reason why Tsao manages to outsmart the gang is because his whole appearance hinges on tradition, making him easy to underestimate. He resides within a palace in the Chinese countryside, he's a "warlock", he has conservative values. At the same time though, he's got his own personalised computer avi and keeps his treasure tucked under high-tech security. We've seen something similar with Jean Bison, who used Clockwerk parts to operate his trains and hid wifi in his boats, but that was kinda different because Bison was actually a clueless hick who wanted to sell his share of the parts to Arpeggio. Tsao on the other hand understands and utilises technology in mesh with his reverence for tradition.

Lastly, we've got the voyeuristic antithesis via Carmelita & Sly. I've recently covered how Sucker Punch's treatment of female characters, although not something to raise pitchforks over, is yeah pretty much designed solely through the lens of the male gaze. Carmelita's entire character is tethered to Sly's perception of her, and more generally how the main trio views her (i'd even go so far as to say this is on display during the operation's grapple-cam segment, where Bentley assumes this kind of like Big Brother role over her, which is later done with Penelope too btw... mama, the layers). In Battery of Peril however, the perspective is swapped with the Carmelita gameplay. And yeah, we've played as Carmelita before by this point, but here's the thing: this time it's all about stepping into Carmelita's shoes the way we've come to know her as for the past two games. Quintessential Carmelita is chasing Sly and now we're placed into that very role. Although the antithesis between law & crime is present throughout the series, here it's explored deeper to match the rest of the episode's interpretations of the theme.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Prom

Hello!

This one is from a request, I hope it will please you as much as the others. I'd like to really thank all of you for your kindness it really mean very much to me. My life isn't really easy for now and writing help me a lot. I'm glad I can have someone to read my work here ♥

It's only fluff in here :)

______________________________________________________________

You just can't help it. You just can’t fight the force of attraction that constantly clings your eyes to Ona’s silhouette. This girl was a great player, charismatic, very kind and smiling. But she also had the gift of being both particularly cute while being frightfully sexy. You fell for her the second your eyes landed on her. She came to your school early this year for a school exchange. She’s supposed to finish school here and was recommended to be on your high school soccer team. Enough to say that she quickly demonstrated her qualities, so much so that the coach decided to appoint her captain. A nomination that could have attracted problems with other girls, but they were all quickly aware of Ona’s qualities.

You, on the other side, you were the captain of the cheerleaders, so you have the chance to be able to watch her play every game. Since you frequent the same places, you were quickly brought to discuss together. And you found yourself falling even harder.

Your sexual orientation doesn't question anybody, you have long demonstrated your interest for girls only. You don’t know for Ona though. She has never been in a relationship since she arrived here and she seems not to be interested in all those who have tried their luck. Always with her eternal sweet smile, she dismisses them kindly before shifting her attention to football.

You had an incredible chance anyway, because of your catastrophic results in Spanish, your teacher offered to ask Ona to give you private lessons. You agreed and so did Ona, but it didn’t help you get close to her because in the way you wanted because you find yourself blushing and feeling particulary stupide every time.

But eventually your work payed off and it’s with a big smile that you find the Spanish girl in the corridors of the school, shaking a paper in front of her face.

"What is it?" she asks with a smile, her voice making strange things in your belly everytime, before grapping the piece of paper. "Madre mia Y/N a A-?"

You don’t answer, just nod with a big smile. You’ve never scored as high as this one and you owe it to the brunette.

"Felicitaciones!"

She jumps happily before hugging you and kissing your cheek. And here you are again, blushing red like a damn tomato.

"Muchas gracias" you smile, hopping Ona didn't realise your blush. "But I still need your help though. I have a writing for next week, would you mind?"

"Of course not. I have training this afternoon but can I come tomorrow?"

**********

Tomorrow being friday night, you propose to Ona to come for diner and work on your essay afterwards. Your parents aren’t here like pretty much every Friday night, both of them being part of a club with all of her friends. Well it's literally an excuse to meet them and have drinks, but you pretend not to realize it. Your older sister is out too with her boyfriend, like every Friday night too.

"How was practice?" you ask Ona, erasing a deleted sentence on your page.

"Good, good" the other girl answer absent-mindedly.

She was standing behind you in your room, looking at the pictures and the posters hung on the wall. You can’t see it and look over your shoulder. She turns her back on you and is admiring the one with your best friend, dating from this summer. You and she had managed to get her parents to take you with them, and this was probably the best vacation of your life.

Realizing that your gaze lingers a little too long on her arms and her butt, you suddenly shift your attention to your writing, cheeks burning.

"I think I’m done" you mumble a few minutes later, scratching your head.

"Let me see"

Ona answers you softly and comes back to sit next to you. You don’t move when you feel her knee leaning against your thigh, trying to ignore the heat wave that seizes your entire body. The attraction you feel for her becomes ridiculous, especially when a look in her direction tells you that she does not even seem to have realized.

"It's pretty great actually. You just made one or two grammar mistakes, but otherwise it’s fine. Your progress is really impressive"

"I have a very good teacher"

Ona looks at the sheet that she is correcting to send you a smirk and you almost faint. Jesus Christ this woman.

"Done!" she says soon after with another smile.

You thanks her again and a glance at your phone inform you that it's pretty early. Even if you would appreciate more than ever to spend extra time with Ona, you do not know under what pretext to propose her to stay. But she doesn’t get up from your chair though, leaning on the backrest and gently turning it from side to side.

"So, what’s on tonight?" she asks and you shrug.

"Nothing really. I have to stay to watch the house"

"Alone?"

"Yeah? Sometimes Hannah comes too, but tonight she was busy"

You see Ona’s look for a few seconds on the photo she was looking at earlier, representing you with your best friend on the beach. And she turns her attention back to you.

"You both seems very close"

"Yes, I mean I know her since we are five but it’s like she’s always been part of my life."

"Are you together?"

A few seconds pass during which you look at Ona, digesting the surprise of her question. Then you end up laughing a little before shaking your head.

"Like together, together? Nah, she's like my sister. Plus she's straight as a die."

Ona nod and you put the mess on your desk together, now that you’re done studying.

"So if I ask you to go to the prom with me next week, it might not hurt anyone?"

Holly mother of god. You gather feverishly the papers you dropped under emotion and you have to clear your throat to chase the feverish in your voice.

"No one will be hurt if you ask me" you mumble shyly before adding "Except maybe all your pretenders who are rushing to the gate."

Ona rolls her eyes.

"Would you? Come to prom with me?"

You raise your eyes on her face to make sure she’s not joking. But that doesn’t seem to be the case and you even manage to see hope in her eyes. As if it were possible for you to hesitate for a second.

"I'd love to"

**********

Maybe it’s a little cliché the captain of cheerleaders going to the prom with the captain of the soccer team. But honestly, you don’t care. You don’t know how the rest of the school could have known so quickly about Ona's request, but it seems like by Monday most of the others students were already aware.

You may have seen different reactions from your friends, most of were happy for you. You didn’t expect, however, that some would show jealousy by asking aloud what had pushed Ona to ask you to accompany her. You haven’t been able to speak so much to the Spanish during this week, both of your training sessions require special attention given the advanced championship.

But you have to admit that these hallway gossips and these kinds of remarks altered your confidence so much that you ended up writing to Ona in the middle of the week to make sure that she still want to go with you.

You - Hi Ona. Sorry to bother you. I just was wondering if you still want to go together at the prom?

Ona - Hola! Of course, why? Ona - Have you change your mind?

You - Not at all, just asking. You - What will you wearing?

Feeling the questioning of the other girl, you quickly changed the subject under the pretext of being able to coordinate your outfits. You didn’t want her to realize the insecurities you can have sometimes. You are the cheerleaders captain, you know perfectly well that if you let the slightest thing appear, it can quickly turn against you.

Ona told you that she will pick you at 8, and here you are, looking at yourself on the mirror of your bathroom. The more you look, the more you feel that the outfit you have chosen is not the right one. But you don't have time to think about it any longer, because soon the bell rings and you hurry to the entrance. Your parents and your sister are home and you don’t necessarily want them to bother Ona today.

You scream a goodbye and slam the door, making your way to Ona's car. She’s waiting for you and her vision takes your breath away. She’s perfect, whether it’s her outfit, her haircut, her makeup. So perfect that you want to cry. You will never be in her league. Yet she slowly approaches you with a big smile.

"You are beautiful" she tells you while extending her hand to go with her towards the passenger door.

" You’re the on to talk" you answer, biting the inside of your lip.

You almost make a comment about how many will be jeslous of you when the will see you to her arm, but you hold back. You already hinted that last week when she invited you and you don’t want to be too annoying.

A comfortable silence settles between you and you smile as you hear her humming the song passing on the radio. It's only a few minutes later that Ona breaks the silence.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"How did you end up captain of the cheerleaders?" asked Ona, glancing at you. "No offense, but you don’t have the same characteristics as your teammates. You are not superficial, you are not selfish, you have respect for everyone… It doesn't fit so much in the usual codes, you know?"

You look at her for some seconds, thinking about her question. You already know the answer, but you're thinking about the way you can say the things.

"My sister was in the team, my mother was in the team... I guess I just wanted to show them that I can make it too."

You shrugs, before looking at the window. You didn't mean to say that your mother or your sister are superficial and all, but you don't really have the same vision of things.

"Do you even like it?"

"Somehow. It has some advantages. You can met interesting people"

You glance at her and she intercedes, your answer seems to make her smile. It makes you smile back despite the slight heat that once again invades your cheeks.

You arrive a few minutes later and once Ona has parked, she hurries around the car to open your door. You thank her with a smile and look mechanically around you. You notice glances at both of you, but your attention is quickly diverted by Ona’s hand which gently settles in the hollow of your back to train towards the entrance. As light as a butterfly, her hand on the fabric of your dress is pleasant and you refrain from leaning against it.

The evening passed at the speed of light and you had an incredible time. You still don’t explain yourself how you just didn't ignite on the spot. You and Ona danced during the evening, her hands on your waist giving you the impression that your legs turned into jelly. Every touch, every glance or smile brought you a little more to fall under the spell of the Spanish. It’s been a long time now that the stage of crush seems to be over, you are completely crazy about her.

Ona was closer to you physically than ever and you allowed yourself to look at her a little more strongly. You got lost in her eyes and yours landed several times on her lips.

But you are now going back home, in the same comfortable silence as before. The only difference is that this time your hands are intertwined on your leg and you play mechanically with the fingers of the young woman. You arrive a little too quickly to your liking and you shift your attention to the latina when she turns off the engine.

"Thank you for inviting me. I had a great evening" you smile softly, reluctantly leaving Ona to recover her hand.

"Me too" answers Ona smiling before undoing her belt. "I take you home."

Coming out of the car, you slowly follow her to your front door. The lights are off on the ground floor, but the one on the floor tells you that your parents are not sleeping yet.

"It went too fast" Ona pout, gently putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

Quick, air needed please. You focus all your concentration to listen to the words she says to you and not faint.

"It’s true" you mumble without really realizing what you’re saying.

Ona answers nothing, her gaze in yours. Your heart beats too fast, so fast that you have the impression that Ona can hear it. Hypnotized by her, you notice that she came forward only when her face is only a few centimeters from yours. From there you can see the depth of her gaze, every single one of her freckles.

And then, she kissed you. Slowly, letting you the time to stop her if you don’t want to.

But you want to, obviously. You would be unable to describe how you feel during this kiss, but your heart rushing against your thorax cage might speak for you.

"My heart will explode" you whisper against her lips without fully taking them off.

"I’ve wanted to do this for ages, you have no idea how much"

The answer of the latina makes you open your eyes and you find yourself immersed in her chocolate eyes, so warm and pleasant.

"I’m glad you did"

She offers you a new smile and takes you completely against her for a new kiss. A little more harder this one, but still light, made to discover you both. Her hands caress your face while yours are in the hollow of her back.

You feel like you could spend hours there, but you realize you have to go home if you don’t want to get your parents' attention.

"Will you writing to tell me that you have arrived well?" you ask her gently, your hands caressing her arms.

"Promise" she answers you before stealing a new kiss. "Sleep well"

Then it’s your turn to steal one from her, before she goes back to her car. Waiting for her to leave to enter your home, you can’t erase the big smile on your face when you go up to your room. You go directly in it, starting to undress and remove your makeup. You just putted on your pajamas when your phone vibrates, indicating the reception of a new message.

Ona - I came home well. I hope to wake up tomorrow without realizing that it was all a dream. Sleep well Princess ♥

You - Sleep well too, Hermosa. I look forward to seeing you again ♥

[final-fantasy-as-literature]

Maycomb Blume and "Reading" Loveless in Rebirth

Heya, folks. SPOILERS ahead for Rebirth. Loveless is the only thing that should be spoiled, but I do mention foreshadowing for another event without stating the event.

Content Warning: Death is mentioned, and there is an image of a skull being held by David Tenant. This should be the only time I have to provide a David Tennant warning on this blog /s.

I've let this blog go dormant since I started it and emptied it out, but I wanted to use it. Originally, I started this blog to chronicle my readings of FF7, FF8, and FF9 as adaptations of Xiyouji, but that didn't feel like an easy thing to start with.

I did have the first section of a close reading of Loveless as it appears in English posted here, but I wanted to restart with pointing out how "reading" video games more deeply can be rewarding and is something you probably already have the tools to do if you went to primary school in the past 30 or so years. I will throw the close reading back on here when I've edited it, but I want to be doing something with this blog that isn't quite so deeply analytical to start. I also like adding images to break up text, and this is one of the few places I can do that with alt text for accessibility. Tumblr doesn't like outside links, though, so win some, lose some.

I wanna focus on Loveless from Rebirth with one critical lens among many that you can use to find your own meaning from it. You can even use weaker lenses, like the monomyth and its mother goddess guiding a hero or a Wagnerian reading, if you want. Loveless is a story about heroes on the stage set to music, even if it doesn't neatly line up with either lens. One could display how it resists interpretation by those lenses, for example. In any case,

You Probably Already Know About Literature

Loveless is a play. Even being in a game, it is a play that bears features common to European and American plays and operas from the 16th Century to the modern day. While some parts may be foreign to what you were taught in school, like the operatic portion at the beginning and the lead-solo at the end, the three-to-five act structure with exposition, rising action, climax, and falling action is something quite common to primary education in a lot of countries.

If you were taught this in primary school, you were probably also taught it through a few key authors, artists, directors, and playwrights. If you're from the US, those names likely included some people like James Baldwin, Harper Lee, Kurt Vonnegut, and maybe a few authors from South America like Julio Cortázar or Laura Esquivel. Without doubt, though, I bet you had to read Shakespeare.

That isn't without good reason. Regardless of what you think about him or his works, Shakespeare's words have been enjoyed and remade countless times around the world in many languages. His dominance of theater of a European style is to the point that some of his lines in isolation, ripped of their context, are enough to call to mind the drama on stage to much of the world.

If I say "To be or not to be..." most native English speakers are already finishing the line or jumping ahead to picture a skull in hand, dramatically lamenting a fellow of infinite jest who now has none who would mock his grin. I've seen the same happen with "Ser o no ser..." and "Sein oder Nichtsein..." in non-literary conversations.

David Tennant not mocking Yorick's grin as Hamlet. Image retrieved from Yorick on Wikipedia, originally from BBC article Bequeathed skull stars in Hamlet.

But, that aside, a piece of Loveless begins before the play, somewhat like the earlier events of Hamlet reflecting in his own play within a play.

You Probably Already Know How to Find Out More About Literature.

If you went to school in the age of the internet, you probably had to do research online to back up your writing in an essay on some piece of media you might not have cared about. Maybe you just found a website, reputable or not, that made an argument you could pull a quote from and stick in your writing. Hopefully, though, there was at least a time or two where you genuinely connected with a piece of assigned media and wanted to see what you could find from scholars about the plot, symbols, style, etc. to inform and elaborate on your own thoughts. I want to do that second one with Aerith's pseudonym for the solo at the end of Loveless, Maycomb Blume.

If you put "Maycomb Blume" into a search engine, I'm using Google through a VPN on a clean device, you're probably going to see a wall of FF7-related pages discussing the name. Unfortunately, those aren't the best sources for doing more than stimulating reflection on your own ideas. Most of them seem to come to a homophonic conclusion that it sounds like "make em bloom" that first appeared on a fan Twitter account. However, you might see an article or two about a book by Harper Lee set in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama - To Kill a Mockingbird.

If you look into them, you'll see that they tend to be reflecting on the resistance, or lack thereof, to oppression present in the novel by its protagonists. At first, that may seem tenuous, but let's follow the string and look into the Maycomb part of Maycomb Blume. A large piece of Final Fantasy VII is resistance or lack of resistance to oppression bringing characters together or pushing them apart, after all.

If you look up 'Maycomb' by itself, you will quickly find that it almost exclusively refers to the fictional town of Maycomb invented by Harper Lee. Google Ngram Viewer confirms this, showing virtually zero mentions of 'Maycomb' until the release of To Kill a Mockingbird. As a deliberate choice of translation, they sure did pick a unique word, no? But what about the "Blume" part? That isn't exactly an uncommon word, and it has myriad variations.

The results of a Google Ngram Viewer search for Maycomb, showing the sudden increase in the appearance of the word Maycomb in text after Lee's publication. Image screenshot from Google Ngram Viewer on October 19, 2024.

If you keep digging and do more looking, you might find that one of the most famous, influential, and controversial literary critics, Shakespeare scholars, and Harry Potter-haters in the world, Harold Bloom, was the editor for an anthology of critical essays on To Kill a Mockingbird. If you know anything about him, you might be aware of his idea that all works of literature are essentially "remakes" that carry influence from the ideas and stories they are latecomers to. This idea is what he called the anxiety of influence.

Harold Bloom, the man who hated Harry Potter before it was cool. Image retrieved from Wikipedia, by Bernard Gotfryd and originally obtained from the page Bernard Gotfryd on the Library of Congress website.

So what did Bloom have to say about Lee's most famous work in this text? Not much, as he was the editor of the volume, but he did say that the protagonists weren't what one would call heroes, but reflections of a sensibility that saw itself without the need to change in the face of racism:

The crises of [Scout’s] book confirm her in her intrinsic strength and goodness, without wounding her sensibility or modifying her view of reality.

So, where our initial look might lead us to a simple homophonic "it sounds like 'make em bloom,'" our deeper look leaves us with a lens from a scholar most focused on works of poetry on the stage, the anxiety of influence, and a theme with which to use that lens with, growth of a protagonist in the face of oppression. These tools seem appropriate for a work that is explicitly part of a "remake" of an earlier work that deals heavily with oppression, how people do or do not resist it, and what that leads them to do - so how well do they apply to Loveless?

You Probably Know How to Apply This to Loveless

Again, if you went to primary school in an English-speaking country in the past 30 years, you were probably taught the basics of how to apply critical lenses to any media you consume. If you had to read A Modest Proposal and discuss how well Jonathan Swift satirizes the plight of the poor in Ireland and upper-class reactions to it, you were being exposed to rudimentary Class or Marxist Criticism. In the US, you might have also been exposed to it while reading The Great Gatsby or The Grapes of Wrath. If you had to analyze the symbols in an Edgar Allan Poe work and explain the ideas, sensations, emotions, and images they called up for you and how well they served the work as they were written, you were being exposed to rudimentary New Criticism. In the US, you might have also been exposed to it while reading Song of Myself or listening to I Have a Dream.

Edward Manet's interpretation of the visit of the raven, both chaotic and clear. Image retrieved from The Raven on Wikipedia, originally on the Library of Congress website linked by a dead link.

The anxiety of influence, or Bloomian criticism, is just like those lenses in that it is a tool for you to apply as an individual reader. Primary schools don't often use even rudimentary Bloomian criticism, though, because it requires a knowledge of a canon, or a body of important works at its simplest, but introducing you to a canon is part of what studying literature in primary school does. Once you have at least a familiarity with a canon, you can start to identify how works influenced by that canon build upon it to deliver their own stories in a way that might or might not change how you read those original works.

Remember how I brought up the "to be or not to be..." soliloquy near the start of this? Are you minimally familiar with Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and King Lear?

If yes, you can apply rudimentary Bloomian criticism to Loveless.

Actually Doing It

The operatic bit of Loveless and the title itself mirror the central tragedy of King Lear: three would-be heroes vie to prove their love for King Lear and all but one are proven loveless. Even more in-line, they are a blonde would-be hero who is imprisoned (Cordelia), a would-be hero with black hair who is slain (Regan), and a would-be hero with red hair whose life is cut short (Goneril).

The Three daughters of King Lear by Gustav Pope. From left to right are Regan, Goneril, and Cordelia. Image retrieved from King Lear on Wikipedia.

The three would-be heroes of Loveless raising their swords. Of the three, only Alphreid on the left is given explicit name, but parallels between the three and other characters within and without the Compilation may be drawn.

While there is a "mother goddess" in the mix, understanding it here without a background understanding of possible precursors (like Campbell's mother goddess or the Guanyin of Chinese/Japanese Buddhism from which he derived it, in part) would only serve to make this longer in explanation. As it goes, she is one of the primary features of the play which connect Loveless to Final Fantasy VII as a whole, but understanding the reason for her inclusion is impossible without looking at FF7 as a whole. As it stands, Loveless can be understood as a work in its own right in a similar way to how Hamlet's play can be understood as a character in the play rehearsing his own mode. That is; Loveless is informative even without understanding Remake and Rebirth in whole.

Already, though, we see that we've reached the point of tragedy of King Lear: it is not long after the imprisonment of Cordelia that she is hanged and her father dies of grief and madness. The Fool, though, appears to deliver the reveal of Bloomian clinamen, the swerving away an author (or authors) makes from the precursors when they create their own misprison (work of art/poetry/literature/etc).

Where King Lear ends shortly after Cordelia's imprisonment, Loveless only truly begins there, and the Fool, a character used to communicate the true nature of things, appears. It is fitting, then, that the character who communicates the true nature of things appears again here as the only character without change or loss in title, being the Fool in both King Lear and Loveless. He introduces us to Alphreid, who himself calls back to the madness of loveless Shakespearean tragedies with his "To proceed... or not to proceed!" line after the tutorial.

Cloud as Alphreid putting on his theater shoes and reminding the reader of the question.

Where Hamlet and Cordelia are condemned to tragedy because of their rejection of love or the rejection of their love, though, Alphreid is freed and empowered by his newfound acceptance of the Goddess' love through the hand of Rosa. This reveals the tessera of the work, the fragment that can be used with other fragments of the work to show where the author (or authors) suggest that the precursors did not go far enough. Hamlet and King Lear, then, are filled with nothing but villains and victims who refuse to embrace the power of love of all things. This makes sense, as those were tragedies.

This blends with the daemonization the work employs, a Counter-Sublime in reaction to the Sublime of the precursors. This is the evidencing of the tessera from before in the way even nature, thundering with Alphreid's rally, reveals in Loveless the counter to the Shakespearean idea that lovelessness flattens all. Where Cordelia and Ophelia die to lack of true love from even one person, Alphreid becomes empowered by love for all things. This reflects even in the reader's/player's ability to progress no matter who they declare their love for among Varvados, Garm, and Rosa, as love conquers all and lack of love flattens. Garm and Varvados, who refuse love, can be expected to fail as long as the player continues.

In hand with the application of the daemonization employed is the kenosis, the breaking device used by an author (or authors) to empty their own work and that of the precursors of their nature as literature. Here, the authors remind the reader that they are playing a game by forcing them to interact to continue Alphreid's story, breaking the illusion of the game's reality while highlighting that Hamlet and King Lear can be put on the shelf as well if you don't wish to continue. Yet, the reader does.

And, when they do, they find revealed in it the reality of the second-to-last revisionary ratio of the anxiety of influence, askesis, the movement stressing the individuality of the author (or authors). They find it most clearly in the Fool of Loveless, pleading with the audience in soliloquy where he calls upon central, humanizing lines of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Romeo and Juliet, and Troilus and Cresside to humanize the creators of his misprison and the misprisons embodied in its precursors,

Cait Sith as the Fool doing his best to evoke pathos for the reader through allusion to the end of things.

Friends, lend me your ears. (Shakespeare, Julius Caesar) Our inspiring hero's and indomitable princess's tale draws to a close. Only one act remains. Parting is indeed such sweet sorrow. (Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet) But as they say, all good things must come to an end. (Chaucer/Shakespeare, Trolius and Criseyde/Troilus and Cressida) Though it is our wish that this tale remain with you long after we are gone.

Emphasis and parenthetical additions mine.

Almost in those words, the Fool draws the reader of both King Lear and Loveless to consider the work as its own unique and novel expression; though, the Fool of King Lear simply tasks the reader with recognizing the application of Lear's lessons. The Fool of Loveless, however, calls on the reader to keep the work as a novel piece with them even as they finish the work.

Even more, it seems to remind the reader that an end in death is soon to come, for Mark Antony was lamenting the death of Caesar in his "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears..." speech, Juliet was foreshadowing in a good night that her cherishing might kill Romeo when she described parting as sorrow and grief, and Chaucer was describing the parting of Criseyde despite the pleas of Troilus when he said, "every thing hath ende" (which Shakespeare later modified). For all of these works, the Fool seems to be showing the ways in which this story will show an end isn't quite so simple - that a death isn't so simple as ending everything for those who survive.

The last of the revisionary ratios of the anxiety of influence, the opening of the work near the end of the author's (or authors') life that reveals the precursors' influence which is apohprades, is evident across the work in the blatant allusions we just discussed and in the name of the trilogy of works that contains it: Remake.

Cloud putting on his standoffish act as Alfred. The translation has served to better the depth, as even Alphreid is the portmanteau of Siegfried and Alberich from The Ring Cycle, highlighting Cloud's dualism.

As the creators of the 1997 release age and face death's tyranny, the anxiety of influence begets renewed misprison that causes the authors to reveal the precursors to their work with their reactions to them. Isolated to just Loveless, a reader can see a return of Shakespeare into a work that originally copied the format he used without clearly showing his presence to reveal a new reading of his most prominent tragedies. This reading, even, mirrors that of Bloom's reading of To Kill a Mockingbird: the tragedies of Shakespeare were preventable or survivable for more of the characters with the same force that could have prevented the crisis of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Why Does This Matter?

Because the curtains don't have to be blue if they mean something to you or the person that made them, and finding meaning in even just a small part of a work can reveal meaning to you in the whole and in other things you enjoy. If we can see Loveless as a take on growth through love of all things and people in the face of oppression influenced by a myriad precursors through baby's first Bloomian lens, we can do that with the Remake trilogy as a whole, even before it is completed. That, even, is just one critical lens that can be used. Jacob Geller has a critique of Midgar as presented in Remake through the lens of architecture and an Akira Kurosawa film that leans towards Class/Marxist Criticism, for example.

I know this was long, but I am rather determined to help people understand that the literacy skills and canons their teachers tried to impart on them are useful outside of reading those same canonical works. Final Fantasy VII suffers from surface-level readings (as opposed to something like Silent Hill or Outer Wilds), but we don't have to read any work like that, especially if we can evidence more deep readings with the text.

So, thanks if you read this far; though, you probably didn't need me to tell you about this stuff if you did.

If you're interested in the Xiyouji thing, it isn't my bigger project, but I'm gonna be semi-regularly posting readings of characters, locations, fiends, concepts, and events as seen in Remake and Rebirth through the lens of adapting Xiyouji. I'll probably be posting Barret Wallace as Sandy first, but it is a tossup between Red XIII as Red Boy, the Trio as the Three from Gensomaden Saiyuki, or The Crow's Nest's Colin as the Crow's Nest Zen Master after that. I wanted to start with this to demonstrate the idea in a smaller part and remind people why they were taught media literacy in school, though. The The Norse Myths That Inspired Final Fantasy VII guy, M.J. Gallagher, seems to be trying to do that in a way, too, but he went a different direction from Dragon Quest and the king of Xiyouji adaptations that come from Japan who helped make it - Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball.

The first appearance of Goku by Akira Toriyama also beginning his journey as an adapted Monkey on a cloud towards becoming the Buddha Victorious in Strife. Image retrieved from Goku on Wikipedia.

[firelightfoxes]

Why did you go with mudi for a breed choice? I’ve been interested in them but so far what I’ve read on some sites was neurotic, independent and very high energy...(I’d love a high energy+ off switch dog thats medium sized,lower maintenance grooming wise and very affectionate/cuddly herding breed cos I vibe with them better lol, and I’m hoping a mudi fits this). Good luck with lichen❤️

hi!! sorry in advance for this ESSAY i'm about to write. i deliberated for a long time on my next breed. i actually wasn't planning to add in another dog for much longer (until Ava started slowing down due to age) but Ava's DLSS diagnosis made it so that i could no longer do most of the dog hobby things i enjoyed, so i moved up my timeline.

i'd been interested in mudi for a while but there was some intense gatekeeping around them the first time i looked into them - some people calling them crazier border collies or mini malinois. i was seriously considering aussies for a while (i grew up with them and i love them) but i didn't love the coat and their appearance isn't usually what i go for (i prefer pointy). in addition, a huge consideration for me was that my next dog could not have any chance of being bigger than Ava (she's 45lbs), because she absolutely cannot have other dogs jumping on her back, or having enough force/strength to bowl her over.

so i looked more into mudi and learned more about them on my own. they're a great size, usually 20-35lbs with females being generally smaller, their coat is wash-and-wear and they do shed but typically less than many other shedding breeds like ACDs and shepherds. their temperament is quite unique for a herding breed but they still definitely are a herding breed. i would say they act a bit more primitive than say a border collie or an aussie. they're only recently gaining popularity, so they aren't as far-removed from their original breed purpose as a lot of other herding breeds, which means their instincts are quite strong - and being bred as farm dogs, they alert at strangers/strange dogs, can be busy, prefer to have a "job". removing a mudi from the farm life, this can manifest as being LOUD AS FUCK, reactivity, noise sensitivity, and problem behaviors when bored. they were also mainly working stock no larger than sheep, so they are not bred to be hard, and are quite sensitive, their feelings get hurt easily and they do get offended and they will make this very apparent. they are also notorious for disliking repetition, so they're the type of breed that will tell you what they like and you'll just have to go with that. i would highly caution against getting a mudi solely as a sport prospect because they might not like the sport. there are, in my opinion, better breeds for that. these are the sort of disclaimers i would give to anyone who is interested in the breed because they are a bit unique if you're comparing them to other herders. they're not necessarily more difficult depending on the trainer, but again, they're just different from what many might expect.

now for the positive! mudi are suuuper intelligent and very intuitive. they bond super quickly to their family. i know everyone says that adding a [insert breed] is like adding a family member, but this breed is Really That. for example, Lichen needs hugs and kissies in the morning or else she'll be sad for the whole day. i personally hate repetition, so i love that she can pick things up super quickly and we don't have to "drill". she's an absolute sweetheart and she loves me, loves hanging out and cuddling with me. she learned really quickly how to differentiate between her toys/not her toys. this doesn't go for all mudi, but she legitimately doesn't have a naughty bone in her body. she just wants to please me but not in an annoying or busy way. she's also HILARIOUS, very spunky, makes her own games to entertain herself. gets along fabulously with Ava. other mudi owners generally consider their dogs a "do-everything-with-me" type of dog who can go hiking/camping, do sports, and then cuddle/chill on the couch. most mudi i think have a pretty good off-switch.

neuroses does happen in the breed but this is something i think you can avoid by talking to breeders and learning about their lines. in addition, i definitely would NOT consider them to be independent. they love their human(s) and always want to be with them. they can have some prey drive but other than that can be expected to have an easily-trainable recall. and energy levels can depend on lines. if you go with a more sporty litter of course you're more likely to get a super high energy puppy. but again, i would recommend finding a breeder near you and talking to them about their dogs. in addition, if you have facebook, there are several mudi groups that have tons of info and lots of helpful people. they can also help you connect with someone local to meet a mudi in person. i would highly recommend meeting them in person because to me, they're so unique and it's much easier to get a true feel for them after meeting one or two. after i met my breeder's dogs i fell head-over-heels for the breed and was absolutely committed to getting one. there isn't an exact breed-split (although one is forming), but if you get a show-prospect from less intense parents, you might have a higher chance of getting what you want and avoiding chances of neuroses/business/super high energy.

i hope this helped!!! sorry again for the dissertation but i love this breed lol feel free to let me know if you have any other questions or you can always PM me if you need breeder recommendations/info :)

[theinnerunderrain]

Are there any writers you like/admire?

Yes! I'm so glad you asked, so here are some writers I greatly appreciate and admire (I didn't proofread this bc I was ranting a lot):

@ddarker-dreams @shumidehiro @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-daydreams

To be honest, @ddarker-dreams has been such a huge inspiration for me and I've been reading her writings for a while now. I believe I've been reading her writings since 2021 or maybe even 2020 (?) since I remember reading her earlier works for Diluc and Childe. I honestly can't express how much I love her writing, it's just so well written and the way the characters are composed is so - beautifully done. Their personality isn't that drastically different from their game counterparts, and I love how she still incorporates elements of their true character into her writing so it feels like you're actually reading into the character, since I find that many people tend to write a totally different character even though they're writing for a certain person. The writings are just so descriptive and it feels like you're actually diving deep into the character's heart, as if you're truly involved within their world, as if you can vividly see their perspective through her writings. Her writings are just so - beautiful. I've reread certain of her works for a hundredth time already, since they're just so fun to read and I don't think I could ever get bored of them or whatsoever. I really love the way she writes Kazuha and Albedo, the way Kazuha is just so soft makes my chest a bit warm whenever I read any of her works surrounding him. Same goes to Albedo, although he isn't as romantic as Kazuha, it's still great to see his interactions and soft spots for the reader.

Now I could go on and on about how much I adore @ddarker-dreams but I'm going to end up repeating the same thing and accidentally turn it into an essay. But she's a really wonderful writer! Anyone should go check her blog out (even though you should have already or if not, what have you been doing with your life?).

As for @shumidehiro @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-daydreams, they are very wonderful writers and I would highly recommend for you to check them out if you haven't. Personally I really love the way @shumidehiro writes Capitano and Pantalone, I would even say that her writings are what really got me into them. I honestly never thought I would be captivated by NPCs with screen time less than 45 seconds, but her writings made me fall in love with them. And I mean by as in I'm obsessed with them kinda thing, it's amazing how she's able to get the audience to like two characters that haven't even officially appeared in the game. It's honestly amazing how she builds their characters and makes them unique and charming to read, despite us not having much information on either of them besides the speculated lore from the artifacts. Again, her writings are beautiful and deserve more recognition, and she's a very lovely person too!

@bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-daydreams, they are another pair of phenomenal writers that I greatly love and admire. I don't know if it's obvious but Albedo is one of my favorite characters, or even arguably is my favorite character of all time. But back to the point, the way these lovely writers portrayed him is so - bewitching (?) I was never a personal fan of when writers portrayed Albedo as being a completely emotionless and cold being, when he's more capable of that. Albedo is even implied to be a kind individual within Mondstadt, and we all saw that during the quest where he didn't hesitate to jump after Bennett after the avalanche. Another note, @bye-bye-sunbird's Capitano Agenda is one of my favorite series. Thanks to farafella's writings acting as an introduction to my love for Capitano (!) The way Capitano is portrayed in the Capitano Agenda got me blushing and gushing on a daily basis, and I'm always giggling whenever I read them, it's beautifully composed and makes your heart beat faster so I would highly recommend to anyone who is interested in Capitano x reader writings!

@teabutmakeitazure is another writer that I greatly appreciate and love, and I feel like she should be more appreciated and loved for her Childe writing contributions. The way she portrayed Childe makes me want to completely punch him in the face, but I still somehow like him enough to keep reading about him. It's almost like a love and hate relationships (?) And her writing makes you feel like you're actually interacting with him in a sort of way. Tainted is probably one of my favorite writings from her, the way Pantalone is portrayed in this is very unsettling. But you also want to punch him much similar to Childe, but something about him just seems more -smug (?) Then Childe? But you should really check her out for yourself and especially her series involving Childe.

Now, I could literally go on and on about each writer but I had to put a limit on myself so I don't end up writing the same thing over and over again. Because I'll keep saying that their writings are beautiful because I really am obsessed, it would turn into a 2k word essay on how I dearly love them. They are all wonderful writers and I would highly recommend them (!) Especially for Genshin fanfictions since that is my preference but I know that some of them do write for other fandoms as well!

[minimel-fics]

People Watching

EZ Reyes X Reader

If he is the one to interrupt your peace while hiding away from the party downstairs then you’re okay with that.

This fic is inspired by the song People Watching by Conan Gray and contains paraphrasing of lyrics from that song.

Masterlist

x x x

Stanford was not known as party school because of its shining academics but that didn't mean parties and over the top ragers were an uncommon occurrence, afterall what would a college experience be without at least a little partying? Parties just weren't your scene, you would rather be back in your dorm making progress on the multiple essays that were due after spring break but your best friend had dragged you away from your overheating laptop and large stack of notes to an overcrowded frat house. Of course the moment you had stepped into the house your friend had disappeared, leaving you to navigate the drunk crowd on your own. You had gotten pulled into many casual conversations and heated debates by students you were hardly acquainted with on your way to the kitchen where all the booze was located, knowing that even a minuscule amount of alcohol would loosen you up enough to not bolt out the front door before the next song played.

You had mingled enough to get your way through two beers before you suddenly began to feel your senses become overwhelmed by the atmosphere of the frat party; the music was much too loud causing even the most simple conversations to become elevated into yells, cigarette and pot smoke created a haze that made your already warped vision worse while their smells mingled with the strong stenches of beer and sweat. You refilled your plastic red cup with beer in a futile attempt to quench your growing thirst as you passed through the kitchen before dragging your tired feet up the staircase to find a quiet room to escape to. You twisted and tugged on all the door handles but the rooms were all locked or occupied by frisky couples before you spotted the crimson curtain that hid the large glass sliding door leading to a vacant patio. Pulling back the curtain, you struggled with the jammed lock before sighing in relief when it clicked and the door easily slid open. Your lungs ceased their burning as the fresh air invaded your senses and cooled your hot skin as you moved to lean on the metal railing to over look the party that had begun to spill out into the backyard. You were thankful that no speakers had been set up outside as the muffled music allowed you to think without bringing on a headache. Your eyes swept over the party as you observed- a game of beer pong that garnered cheers when a player made a shot, the girls who had taken over the hot tub with glasses full of wine that was much too expensive to be at a simple frat party, there were a few people floating in the pool for relaxation that were either ignoring or unbothered by the dive competition happening at the other end and couples were lining the perimeter of the yard, embracing as if tomorrow they would be departing to war instead of going home or on brief trips for spring break.

You had been so caught up in your own observations that you had not heard the glass door open and close nor the footsteps of Ezekiel Reyes as he moved to lean on the railing next to you.

“Mind if I join you?”

Your heart jumped into your throat at the voice that was suddenly very close, nearly dropping your beer as you turned to the boy who was now chuckling at the expense of your fright. “Holy fu- what are you doing out here?”

“I seen you come out here looking a little frazzled, thought I would check on you.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before he stuffed his hands into the pocket of his jeans.

“I’m not exactly a party person.” You admitted, looking back out over the yard as you took a small sip of your beer. You had met Ezekiel in your Ecology class last semester, you often sat next to each other in the class but never really conversed unless it was about the material your professor had assigned, when your friend had discovered that you thought the boy that you sat next to was cute she immediately did a little digging- which was how you found out that his muscular physique was from playing baseball, he was studying to become a doctor and to your misfortune was in a long term relationship with his high school sweetheart.

“So you are hiding out here.”

“It might sound weird but sometimes I like to just people watch.” You spared Ezekiel a quick glance, finding his eyes sweeping over your leaning form, “I’m not much of a people person, I’d much rather prefer hiding out in my dorm so I haven’t gone on any great adventures and people watching let’s me live vicariously.”

“It’s not weird, I think everyone does that sometimes, I know that I do.” He would definitely not admit it to you but lately the person he found himself most intrigued with was you, the almost magnetic pull he felt towards you was the reason why he had spotted you stumbling up the staircase nearly frantic. “Tell me about that couple over there.” Ezekiel sent you an encouraging smile as he bumped his shoulder against your own lightly.

You followed his line of sight to the couple that was hiding away in the far corner of the yard, the girl sitting in her boyfriends lap as they clung to each other, she threw her head back as she laughed at whatever he had whispered to her in their quiet sanctuary.

“I’ll start with the obvious, she’s too in love to notice that most of his jokes are mediocre and laughs a little too hard at the smallest quip.” You spoke as she laughed again, the sound was boisterous enough for the both of you to hear it over the muffled music. “They count how long they’ve been together by the month, 49 months makes it sound like they’ve been together for much more than 4 years and she wears a ring on her left hand but they tell everyone that they’re not engaged, they’ll take that step after they graduate.”

Ezekiel was eerily silent as he listened to your observations about the couple, his grip tightening on the rail caught your attention as his arms flexed under his burgundy hoodie. “They stay up until 4am talking about their future, marriage and a small army of kids,” Ezekiel spoke, the depth and emotion of his voice nearly startling you after the extended silence you shared, “Their minds too clouded with their feelings of young love to face the obvious, once they graduate and face the real world they will realize they just weren’t meant to be.”

“Why so cynical, Reyes?” You joked as you took another sip of your beer, softly elbowing Ezekiel as he let out a deep sigh.

“I was in a relationship, Emily, she-“ He paused, swallowing down whatever blame he was about to place on his now ex-girlfriend for their demise the last time he had been home, “We tried to make it work but the distance was just too much for us.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you.” You rested your hand gently on his shoulder in an attempt to bring him some comfort, not use to having to console people you barely knew before you offered him your half-full red cup.

“You’ve never had a breakup?” He accepted the plastic cup, easily finishing its contents and pulling a face as his tastebuds were met with the flavour of warm beer.

“I’ve had relationships and I’ve watched them end but I have never really been in love, not seriously.” You admitted, casting your eyes down at the pool below to avoid your shame and any pitying glances of the boy you so badly wanted the chance to fall in love with. The brush of his fingers against yours was quick but very much intentional on his part, your head slowly lifting to find him looking at you with a shining intensity. The door abruptly opening behind you caused you both to jump apart, feeling as though you had been caught in a compromising position. You shuffled past the group that was now taking over the previously empty patio back into the house, Ezekiel following along behind you until you stopped at the top of the staircase.

“I should probably be getting back to my dorm,” You sent him an apologetic look as your stomach tightened into knots, you were certain the partiers had ruined your chance with Ezekiel, “I’ve got an early flight to catch and if I have another beer than it will be impossible for me to avoid a hangover.”

“You mind if I walk you back?” He sent you his classic megawatt smile that never failed to make you swoon as he stuffed both of his hands into the pocket of his sweater, seeming almost nervous as he prepared for rejection.

“I would appreciate that.”

x x x

Join a taglist here.

All Mayans: @chibsytelford @beeroses @mijop @bellisperennis0 @un-poetryy @kate-moon @rosieposie0624 @partypoison00 @mrsstevenbuchananstark @mayansxlover @shanty-lol

Ez taglist: @justazzi @spnaquakindgdom @pearlkitten33 @lilsylvia

[holden-caulfield]

Explosive I

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟐 - 𝟑)

Summary: reader ends up in detention and is forced to spend it with Draco Malfoy.

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x reader (can be considered an enemies to lovers kind of au)

Warnings: there could be a swear word but i'm not sure honestly.

Word Count: 3280

//

"DETENTION!" shouted a rather angry Snape as you froze on the spot, staring into his dark eyes.

You had just messed up a potion. Again. And it had just exploded. Again. And it had hit Snape, something he didn't quite appreciate. He wasn't very fond of you to begin with but now he surely despised you.

You gulped down nervously as you watched his face contort in anger, cleaning up the mess your failed potion had just made.

"You'll be serving detention for three weeks, miss y/l/n. Every day after the lessons."

"What? Every day?" you asked incredulously but you immediately regretted it upon seeing the scowl already etched on his face getting prominently deeper.

"Every. Day. Starting from today, i'll see you here at the end of your lessons and you better be on time."

The bell rang and you made your way outside of the class not once looking up. The rest of the day went by without mishaps, but the constant fear of Snape's detention was enough to incessantly haunt your mind.

Your feet seemed to walk on their own as they brought you back in the dungeons, the fateful moment having arrived.

You entered the gloomy classroom and saw Snape sitting at his desk, a foul expression painted on his face.

"Sit." you did as you were told and sat down without a single word, looking at your table.

Just then, another figure entered the class and you looked up to see. You didn't know him personally but his reputation preceded him: Draco Malfoy.

The boy nodded to Snape who simply acknowledged his presence and returned his gaze to you.

"You'll be organizing every single item in this room without making anything explode. Although i'm aware it's a very difficult task for you, miss Y/l/n."

The blond boy snorted lowly while making his way to the cauldrons present in one of the corners of the room, but you couldn't retort, having way more serious matter at hand at the moment.

"Is it clear?"

"Yes, professor."

Much to your surprise, Snape made his way outside of the classroom, his robes floating after him.

"If i see you slacking around, i'll be sure to detract points from your house as well. Get to work." and with that he exited the class, leaving you alone with the blond boy.

You were quite dumbfounded but a snooty voice reminded you of your task.

"You better get going, these vials won't rearrange themselves."

You shot him a glare and he simply smirked, turning around and settling his cauldron on one of the tables.

You got up and reached the first closet, analyzing the items present: a bunch of ingredients, many you'd never heard of.

You began dividing them in alphabetical order, it being the most logical division, but that same arrogant voice resounded in the room once more.

"You have to catalogue them first."

"I didn't see him putting you in charge of this place." you retorted under your breath, hoping he wouldn't hear you.

"You're the one in detention, not me. I was just trying to help." helping obviously wasn't what he was trying to do, however annoying you seemed a much more plausible answer.

"I didn't ask for your bloody help, did i?"

He chuckled darkly as he reached you, taking some of the ingredients for himself and knocking down a few in the meantime.

You managed to catch them in mid air, but he didn't seem too bothered. You simply ignored him, silently rolling your eyes and deciding that that would have been the best way to endure the long hour that was awaiting you.

"What did you do anyway?" he asked once he had returned to his table, setting the containers on the wooden surface.

You ignored the question and he just laughed, obviously amused by the whole situation.

"Did you speak during his lesson? He usually assigns detentions for that." he commented.

You kept on organizing the colorful bottles, keeping your back to him.

"Did you cheat? I saw one try and they say he never came back from here alive." you rolled your eyes at his attempts at getting you to speak and continued with your task.

"Did you try to seduce him to get a better grade? I didn't take you for the type but i'm not judging." he chuckled to himself. You took a deep breath, the urge to just turn around and choke him very strong but having an already lengthy detention was enough, you didn't need Snape catching you while trying to kill your annoying schoolmate.

"You put the Asphodel in the wrong place." you finally turned around, visibly pissed off, and saw him slouched on his chair, arms behind the nape of the neck as he looked at you with a pedantic air.

"And why would that be?" you asked, annoyance audible in your voice.

"You put it with the liquids when it should obviously be with the powders."

"I'm not dividing by consistency."

"Well, you should." you rubbed your temples in an attempt at calming yourself while turning around towards the shelves once more. "Did you hear me? I said-"

"I heard what you said and i do not care. Will you be talking the whole hour?" you asked marching towards his desk and slamming your hands on the table.

"I don't know, will you do something right and arrange them the correct way?" you were fuming. A scowl planted on your face while a grin appeared on his.

"I don't know, i usually don't take advice from arrogant know-it-alls."

"And i don't usually help oblivious girls with anger issues but i was feeling nice today." he grinned, inching closer to you with the same smug smirk on his face.

"Oh you stupid little-"

"Miss Y/l/n, i thought three weeks were enough for you but apparently they aren't." Snape barged in right at that moment and you quickly stopped, jumping backwards and back to the shelves.

"I'm sorry, professor. It won't happen again."

Snape sat at his desk, picking up some pieces of parchment you imagined were essays and began analyzing them.

The hour passed by agonizingly slow and when Snape finally released you, he stopped you before exiting the room, making you walk up to his desk.

"How did you organize them?"

"Alphabetical order, professor."

"You'll be rearranging them tomorrow afternoon. I want them divided by categories." and he waved his hand dismissively, signaling for you to go without even a second glance.

You walked past Malfoy's table and he whispered, "Told you."

"Shut up." and you finally made your way out, exhausted, relieved, mad and already tired at the prospect of the next detention.

The following day, you got ready as always and sooner than you expected, the dreaded hour had arrived. The only solace: not having to hear Malfoy's tiresome remarks every second.

"Good afternoon."

A complacent smirk greeted you as you arrived in front of the classroom. You couldn't help but stare and narrow your eyes at the bothersome boy that sat on one of the tables, obviously waiting for Snape to arrive.

"Do you live here perhaps?"

"Do you, princess? Or were you just missing me?"

You passed by him and sat down at the farthest desk from him you could find, setting down your bag.

He got up from his previous place and sank down in the chair next to you.

"Oh come on, do you still think you can ignore me?"

You remained silent and simply side-glanced at him, uninterested in participating in his games.

Draco was about to say something when Snape finally arrived, causing him to get up and set his cauldron just like he had done the former day.

"Miss Y/l/n, i suppose you already know what to do?"

You reluctantly stood up and started reorganizing all the products you had so neatly arranged the day before, but unlike then, you worked in complete silence, Draco obviously not commenting with Snape present.

When the hour finished, you started to get out but Snape stopped you once again. You turned around, already fearing having to change the order for the third time.

"I decided you'll be practicing from tomorrow afternoon in order to prevent another... accident. Mr Malfoy here will tutor you."

"What?!" you shrieked and Snape didn't seem to appreciate it.

Draco seemed as dumbfounded as you for he had a rather shocked look plastered on his face.

"But-"

"Yes, Mr Malfoy?" Snape raised an eyebrow inquisitively and Draco shut his mouth after muttering a single "Nothing."

"But professor, he's-"

"He's at the top of the class so you'll finally learn how not to make everything you touch explode. Hopefully."

You rushed out of the room after seeing Draco's lips curling the slightest bit upwards and made yourself a mental note to curse him right after Snape whenever you had the chance.

You long pondered about not showing up, faking a sudden cold, but you wouldn't have been able to avoid it forever so the next day you presented yourself. You sat down at the table and took out your Potions book from your bag, opening it in front of you.

Snape eyed you, displeased as usual, but said nothing as you waited for Draco to arrive. It didn't take long and when he did enter the room you didn't even glance up at him.

"I suppose that won't be needed today." Draco had moved to pick up a cauldron but Snape interrupted him. "We don't want the class to blow up just yet."

You were expecting a laughter, a chuckle, but it never came. Draco sat down next to you and took out his own book.

"I have more important matters to attend now. By the end of the week, I expect you to actually learn something, Miss Y/l/n, or detention will be the last one of your problems." and with that he stormed off, his usual black robes swinging behind him.

"I didn't mean to laugh yesterday, just so you know." there was almost a hint of remorse in his voice, but you knew better than to trust whatever came out of his mouth.

"I don't care."

"Are you always this sour? I was apologizing to you." the usual contempt came back.

"Are you expecting me to be happy about this situation? Oh my! My dream of being tutored by Hogwarts' most arrogant twat has finally come true!"

"Do you think i asked for this? We are in the same circumstances!"

"You can walk out of that stupid door whenever you like, i can't!"

"Just because i'm smart enough to know how to brew a bloody potion doesn't mean i don't have to stay here!"

Your cheeks were burning with anger and after his last comment with embarrassment too. You returned your angry gaze towards the book sitting in front of you.

"Where are we starting then?"

"I didn't-"

"Where are we starting?" your tone was firm even though in your head all you wanted to do was collapse on your bed forever.

"Which one have you had the most difficulty with?"

"Every one. Every. Single. One." you replied through gritted teeth, angrier than before.

"I'm just trying to help you but i can't do it if you don't cooperate!"

You closed your book shut and shoved it inside your bag, slinging it across your shoulder and striding out of the classroom.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? You can't go out!"

"Thanks for the information, Mr Obvious."

You knew you would have been in great trouble with Snape but you couldn't bare Draco Malfoy for another minute, not like that.

You considered just telling Snape you couldn't do it, that you would have preferred to fail than have him tutor you, but knowing Snape, he was already aware of that and assigned you Draco Malfoy exactly because you couldn't stand him.

"Miss Y/l/n, Mr Malfoy here has told me you made great progress yesterday and I expect the same thing today. I give you permission to make practical work but i want everything in order when i get back. Can i trust you on that, Mr Malfoy?"

He nodded firmly while you still tried to figure out how in the world the conversation you just witnessed could have happened and Snape left you and Draco alone.

"Well, we better get to work and get that progress done or else we're both doomed." he waved you over impatiently but you were still staring at him, brows furrowed as you tried to understand his logic.

"What game are you playing, Malfoy?"

"Do you really think Snape would have appreciated it if i told him you decided to ditch detention?" he asked raising his eyebrows at you. "Oh, don't flatter yourself, i didn't do it for you. Come here."

You sat down at the table, still suspicious, and started to skim over the pages.

"Amortentia."

"What?"

"That's the one that made Snape almost blow up."

"How did you manage to make an Amortentia explode?! That's impossible!" he exclaimed while laughing, but there was no superiority in his tone this time.

"Not for me apparently..."

Draco stopped laughing and the two of you began studying.

He was actually more bearable than expected, still a little vexing, but you finally began understanding Potions. Suddenly, those concepts that you thought you could never grasp became completely comprehensible.

And his personality was a surprise too: you and him actually talked together, without any sort of malice.

"Do you think you're ready to brew it?" asked a slightly smiling Draco as he looked up at you from his book. He wasn't the obnoxious asshole you thought. Well, he was, but not entirely.

The two of you were relatively nearer than you were before due to the fact that he had come closer to read with you and explain carefully every single passage. You were so close you could feel his warmth. You were so close you could see that there was a light tinge of blue in his otherwise grey eyes, making them appear almost silvery.

"I suppose we can try..."

He stood up to gather all the materials you'd need and you did the same to collect the ingredients, making sure you picked the right ones, reading carefully the notes you had just taken.

He set everything on the table and looked at you, waiting. You placed the ingredients and looked at him, waiting.

"Well?" he asked, crossing his arms in front of him. "We don't have all day, you know."

"I have to do it?!"

"Yes? I already know how to do it." he replied, chuckling lightly.

"Because you're smart enough to do it?" you asked raising your eyebrow playfully. His smile faded slightly but you quickly changed the topic. "It'd be better if i just watched you do it, don't you think so?"

"I'll be here all the time and believe me, i do not intend on visiting the hospital wing because of second degree burns." you sighed softly and filled the cauldron with potioning water, setting it on a low flame.

You began adding peppermint flower heads, neatly pestled, and peppermint leaves under the watchful gaze of the blond boy.

You went on slowly with every passage, looking up at him from time to time only to receive an approving nod until the bell rang and you had finished.

"We'll have to leave it here overnight and stir it every day. It should be ready in a week or so..."

"So it's ok? It's a potion and not a potential weapon?" you asked gleefully.

"It should be once done, if you've done it correctly." he raised his eyebrow defiantly and you smirked, gathering your things and getting ready to leave the classroom.

"Are you sure it's the fifth time i stirred it?"

"Positive, just two more and we can work on another one."

Working with Draco was incredibly easier: he wasn't as strict as Snape and he was by far more enjoyable now that he didn't act like a prick. You could even say you were becoming friends.

In these few days with him, you learned more about potions than you had ever had in years and years with Snape. You were able to recognize the different ingredients just by looking at them and remembered all the passages clearly. You learned an awful lot about your tutor too: his interests, his friends, his family and the meaning behind his name, which was as fascinating as the boy that bore it.

It was now the thirteenth day of detention, which meant that the brewing time had passed and that the potion was most likely ready.

You felt slightly uneasy at the prospect of uncovering your Amortentia and discovering whether or not what you had learned was effectively correct. Nevertheless you made your way to the Potions classroom after the lessons like every other day.

Snape wasn't present: he would have tested you at the end of your three weeks detention, but you still felt nervous at the thought of disappointing Draco. He had helped you immensely and it would have been highly dismaying for him if you hadn't been able to brew an Amortentia after all his teachings.

Still, you pushed those thoughts aside and joined Draco, who was already in the classroom. His face lit up when he saw you and stepped closer, but stopped himself from hugging you.

"Are you ready to see whether you made a potion or a bomb?" he asked playfully, successfully breaking the tension.

"You're hilarious, really. You know that, blondie?"

"I've been told. Come on... princess." he added the last word with a smug smirk displayed on his face and you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Finally asserting my superiority, are you?"

"You wish."

He set the cauldron on your usual desk and stared at you, signaling for you to uncover it. You took a deep breath and removed the cloth that was shielding it, revealing a smooth liquid with a mother-of-pearl sheen. Spiraling fumes started rising from it and you quickly covered it with the cloth once more.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, confused by your reaction.

"It's fuming. It's not a good sign in my experience." he giggled slightly and took the cloth from your hands, brushing them in the action.

"It's supposed to be like this, in fact, i think you just brewed a perfect Amortentia."

He removed the cloth once more and at his words pride took over your features.

"Smell it, it's different for-"

"It's different for everyone, i studied." you eyed him proudly and inched closer to the exhalations emitted by the draught.

"So? What is it?" he asked impatiently and you smiled widely at his eagerness.

"Mint... something similar to shoe polish i think... and honey..." you looked up at him, his eyes never once leaving yours. "Your turn."

He leaned in, placing his face closer to the brim of the cauldron and inspired deeply.

His eyes met yours again.

"Tell me, what are you smelling?"

You had moved closer to him, itching to know what he most desired. The distance separating the two of you almost inexistent.

"I told you, you have to-"

He cut you off by grasping your face in his hands and connecting your lips together. You melted in his touch but something inside you made you pull away.

"What are you doing?"

He looked at you with panic in his eyes and started to back away. You tried to grab his arms but he receded even more.

"I'm sorry."

And he ran out of the classroom, leaving you alone with one question: why did you pull away?

//

Taglist <3

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[thesaurus-lover]

why we love aoba johsai: a very long thought dump

because the first thing i always do after finishing a good show like this is analyzing the hell outta it

cw: major haikyuu!! spoilers until season 3

also small disclaimer that all of this is from a thematic/narrative perspective in writing, so it definitely wouldn’t strictly apply if we were talking about something irl

tl;dr is that seijoh will always be an arm's length away from being the best, almost to the point we could call them hidden underdogs

started to binge a series of haikyuu video essays, and reading the comments on both the oikawa and shiratorizawa vids back-to-back has me realizing how much the fandom can resonate with seijoh.

even while watching the show i realized early on how much i loved their matches, with the s1 and 2 finales being some of the games i really jumped in my seat to cheer. but i actually didn't know why?? i kinda brushed it off as "oh i like their dynamic with karasuno" but looking back that's a super lame and vague reasoning lol

and then one of the videos helped make it click for me. so let's start with Crappy Personality–kun himself, oikawa tooru.

i mean sure he has a pretty face and annoyingly precisely styled hair??? but that's not why we like him so much. he's a prime example of what it means to fall behind those who are naturally gifted in the one thing you love more than anything just because you aren't one of those gifted people.

and the truth is that a heartbreaking number of people can relate to exactly that.

while all that's been made very clear in the narrative, i think that to an extent, that sentiment can be applied to the rest of the team; yes, they're very strong and are one of the best in the prefecture (not to mention the first major antagonist team) but when you factor, let's say, shiratorizawa into the picture, the common folk just know who's stronger—who's the very best.

this team represents what it’s like to be stuck in that limbo between still being better than the rising underdogs, but weaker then the ultimate powerhouse.

in the s2 finale match especially we saw how much of their raw desperation cracked through. i’m sure nobody can get rid of the image of oikawa scrambling back onto the court after literally crashing into a table. it was a desperation that rivaled even karasuno’s, who just needed to win this match to contrinue their rise to the top.

but seijoh is definitely still viewed as a threat, oh yeah. when shoyo and tobio confront ushijima at the beginning of s2 and seijoh is called weak, the two of them FUME, because they have fought seijoh, and they’re a damn difficult team to beat. hence the idea “oh so if they’re weak then what the hell are we, a team who lost to them? just concrete, yeah?” it's why we were also given the mindset from the very beginning that they're also near-unbeatable.

the thing is, while karasuno has fallen to rock bottom before, they're now climbing back up, and at a scary fast pace.

karasuno beat the school who plays only their strongest cards. they represented their prefecture against all of japan.

yet despite being a prestigious school who gathers talents from middle schools like kageyama's—despite clearly even having more experience, seijoh didn't beat shiratorizawa. seijoh didn’t go to nationals.

why? because being good—or great, or even downright amazing—is not the same as being the best.

and knowing how hungrily competitive practically everyone in this anime is to be the best, i'm sure it kills them inside. especially to their captain, who's smart enough to be painfully aware of their entire situation.

while we obviously still love shiratorizawa's players like ushijima and tendou, most of us can't see ourselves in the team's general position—because the majority of us aren't the best.

and one last thing that i think can connect to this is the whole “you should’ve come to shiratorizawa” discourse. it took me a painfully long time to put my finger on why it made tooru’s blood boil so much, but i settled on believing that it was because he knew exactly of their nature of only gathering the strongest; and ushijima did see him as one of these strongest. if he was their setter, they’d only become even more unstoppable, right?

but oikawa is petty, and he hates those who need to struggle any little less than him just because of an innate, unfair head-start (but that's not to say that the gifted characters don’t also work very hard.) that’s why his useless pride won't let him be in a team full of those kinds of people. he’s also probably insecure of eventually being overtaken by people like goshiki, who's only a first year but is practically already next in line for the title of the prefecture’s Big Bad Ace™.

so instead, he fights with aoba johsai, with people like him. it’s a crazy battle that never totally meets the spotlight—to keep trying to climb to the top even when you know someone can overtake you so easily, reducing your efforts to almost nothing.

that’s all for now lmfao i really poured everything into this :’) i'd totally need other people's thoughts & stances to concretize my opinion on tho, so this really just is a thought dump for now >:)

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married) 

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse. 

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS 

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

[lesbiancarat]

Haha its fine! Im book anon for a reason so take all the time you need! Before I start, I wanna apologize for the possible asks you got about the merch and hybe in general. I didn't intend to cause stress and need to be careful bdjahdsj so slap me with a fish!

Onto the ask! But agreed, I mean before the big kpop boom we saw, this was very common. Build a decent fanbase and then move to Japan or China. (Of course sometimes you see INSTANT movement in other countries but that depends on the company and such but you know what I mean) but since we do have the more global kpop era, we may see more companies do America which isn't a bad thing. It makes sense buisness wise so they will jump on it after debut or something. Thus I don't see it a bad thing for kpop groups to promote in America because hey, if in Korea they do sell western artist music who also tour there, kpop groups can also do the same ya know?

Now onto the hybe comment, I will try not to speak too much on it so I will try to summarize. I think my theory is due with merch from their main artist, they think maybe it could work with svt which maybe could but svt has a different fanbase so throwing on random merch won't make fans really want to buy (not saying some won't which kudos to you! As a fan you are allowed to consume what you please except not be a bad apple about it) so thus like the infamous water bottles which was done for bts, they thought why not do it for svt because bts fans sold it out apparently for a 2nd wave of it being sold again. (Which to this day idk why someone in the hybe team thought this was smart. Like...this is just in bad taste imo) I do wanna agree that it appears that hybe doesn't seem to have a proper art team for svt because while sometimes wild, I do know for their main artist they do have thoughtful merch based around say an album concept I recall. Kf course they will make mistakes i.e. the water bottles. I do wish it can improve because even though it is capitalism, I think fans do want decent merch. We have seen interesting ideas like svt making their own magazine and selling it lol. Of course it is hard to please because some fans want subtle merch ideas while others don't mind the vibrant pastel colors we got or some want wild ideas like svt figurines or something. Overall I hope I didn't drag this too much as I just wanted to respond back to you, I agree with many points you said so yeah cx I say let's also wait as this is barely what, a year or even less of svt being under hybe properly. Especially when hybe had its rebranding and expanding so things are being changed, I know fans are worried about this which is valid but let's not panic just yet. Let's come back in a year to this and see what has improved and what hasn't. (OK but peldis sold the boys rings!? :o since when!? I haven't heard of this actually, when did this happen if I may ask?)

Oof yeah sadly with streaming, many view "oh you don't stream it means you aren't a fan" when isn't the case (which is why I personally don't like when certain companies also do "listening parties" which seems a bit ???) I do remember this popped up big in 2017 but many fans called it out so it quiet down a bit. Like we didn't see it so often where fans were causing problems over it so idk why this returned nor what the cause of it was.

But thank you!! It really was a nice closing chapter, I think when I have personal stuff settled I will try maybe get a new bunny? And oohh congrats on the album! (Note to hybe or pledis. Please make the us store a more common thing, it makes things so much easier! Am happy it was at your place quick so kudos to the us store. Oohh wonderful choices! I think for many fans anyone or heaven's cloud seems to be the popular picks? For me, I may have to say game boi or heaven's cloud as well! Those songs make me just so happy? Like game boy is just so creative with the way it was made. As a video game nerd, it is perfection. I could make an essay about this song lol and heaven's cloud is just...wow. I feel so at ease with the song, comfortable and soothed. Like you are on a cloud lol. Also that is totally fine! Rtl was a grower for me (I blame the mv, it didn't do the song jusitice) but it is a bop and can't stop humming the chorus at random moments. Overall a great summer album. Just imagine any of these songs performed live ndjansns

lol don't feel too bad about it! honestly they weren't that bad + i can always delete asks if i really don't want to answer them, i just always get a bit paranoid that things will get out of hand so i may end up getting more serious in those situations OTL

and yeah i agree! i don't think it's a bad thing for groups to promote in the US, as you said, it's similar to groups expanding their fanbase by promoting in china or Japan or other asian counties, it makes sense from a business standpoint and there's nothing wrong with promoting in different countries. i just wish that some kpop stans understood that western and/or global popularity is a bonus and not a requirement for success. while they do have a global appeal, at the end of the day kpop's main audience is korea, and groups that achieve popularity in Korea have already achieved what they set out to do. but there's unfortunately a decent chunk of international fans that prioritize western popularity over anything and can't fathom that a group can be successful without being popular in the US. or they just talk as if their groups western achievements are more valuable than their Korean ones and to me that starts to look like xenophobia... (sorry if I'm repeating anything i said before in regards to this, i feel like i am but I'm too lazy to go back and check OTL)

since you sent this ask hybe released the caratland merch which was actually really nice, and today they also announced that there will be birthday merch for cheol (and presumably all members from here on out). we don't know what the bday merch is yet but some carats are already a bit miffed that hybe is even thinking to capitalize off the boys' birthdays... i bring both of these up bc i feel like the caratland merch proves your point that hybe is capable of designing good and thoughtful merch, and honestly this does reassure me a bit. but on the other hand them trying to capitalize off the boys' birthdays also proves that they still don't fully understand carats wants and priorities as a fanbase. which, if the future of seventeens merch is gonna be quality merch with some shitty cash grabs in between, i can live with that. I'm not gonna like the shitty cash grabs and i think it would be in our best interest as a fandom to not go crazy buying those shitty cash grabs, because if we don't then hybe will hopefully stop wasting their time and put more effort into /quality/. but if we get quality merch for important events like concerts and fanmeetings, i can live with it. as you said too, it can take time for these things to change, and we should all recognize that. but at the same time merch specifically is market driven, so i don't think it's a bad thing if people like @ hybe on twt about any bad merch that comes out in order to drive that change dhfkfj

but also on a maybe more fun note in regards to the merch... with some carats being upset about the bday merch i was thinking about what hybe could do for merch instead that would fill the niche of being at intervals throughout the year that could still be limited time drops but that carats wouldn't be mad at them capitalizing on and then i was like duh! they could literally just make merch off of going seventeen! honestly I'm surprised they haven't yet. maybe not merch for every episode, but they could have a line of permanent gose merch w a basic logo or something and then release limited time merch themed around some of the more popular episodes at various points during the year. I'm actually kind of obsessed with this idea now and for once I'm like hybe/pledis please capitalize off of this!! dhfkgjg

they never actually sold them, but for seventeens 3rd anniversary, pledis planned to sell replicas of seventeens rings. after it was announced carats were understandably upset since the boys worked so hard for those. luckily pledis heard carats concerns and put out an apology and didn't manufacture them in the end. I'm glad that at least they listened to carats even though it would have been better if they had never considered the idea in the first place :(

oh yeah listening parties are definitely just another marketing technique to boost streams. i think like with a lot of marketing techniques, it just depends on the execution. imo if they're done well it can be a good way for fans to connect while listening to an artists music, which is mutually beneficial for the company, but i can totally see a situation where companies get greedy and push it too hard. i don't know anything about what happened with them back in the day, but if you're curious why SVT had listening parties leading up to your choice, they were set up by UMG, the American distributor that SVT worked with for this cb. in this case the listening parties weren't just for boosting streams, but also likely for UMG to gauge interest. SVT isn't officially signed to a US label yet, but UMG's data from the listening parties could be used to show US labels whether or not there's enough interest for them to be signed. which if that happens we'd almost definitely see a more permanent US shop!

ahh yes, once you're ready I'm sure it would be great to have another bunny companion 🥺

yes! heavens cloud and gam3 bo1 are both such feel good songs! my sister actually added heavens cloud to their Spotify after i made them listen to the album in the car dhfkf it's now one of 6 kpop songs they have saved (4 of which are SVT... my influence 💅 DHFJFH) I'm certain we'll see some of the songs from your choice at caratland this year, hopefully it's all of them but I'd especially like to see heavens cloud and wave 👀 I'm also still crossing my fingers for an i wish live performance bc i can't believe my favorite SVT b-side is one of the TWO tracks they haven't performed live not including the new album (the other one being network love, which i would also like to see live!)

[scifimagpie]

Game of ZZZs: How Long Stories Ruin Everything

I've been putting this one off because I was kind of busy writing an 18-part series deep-dive involving journalism and undercover work, but since Lindsay Ellis has released her video essay conclusion, I have finally put my thoughts in order.

So, today we're going to talk about something contentious. I have no issue with books being long, or shows being long, or movies being long - but at the same time, I do. And yes, I know some people adore epic scale stories for their own sake.  Not everything needs to be a thousand-page-long ten-book series with three spinoffs and prequels. Oh, sure, market forces and advertising play a role in this, but creators still participate in it.

But sometimes a story isn't long because it needs to be, it's long because the writer thinks it HAS to be. From my personal experience as a reader and writer, and especially as an editor, I've come to some conclusions about how stories are artificially extended. And in a world of global warming and climate change, shouldn't we be fighting waste everywhere, on every level?

Now, a certain show ended its eighth season not long ago; Big Bang Theory came to a whimper of a close after ten seasons, and Veep - which I only heard about towards its grand finale, alas - has also finished up a seven-season run. 

I'm not saying all of these shows participated in various errors. I'm saying pretty much every show, book, and movie series will partake in them eventually. So how do we do better than the bad ones, and how do we echo or even improve on the good ones? We can't fight what we don't know about, so let's get into it.

Spacing

Everything happens, but not right away. No, the important events are distanced from each other, to the point where there are long stretches of dead zones or deserts of nonsense in between them. I'm not talking about character interactions as nonsense here, but unfortunately, a lot of authors seem to think that they count, and that human drama isn't interesting enough to be a climax. Older fantasy works--cough, cough, Wheel of Time--can be particularly bad about this. The problem with spacing out events and using human drama between the big McGuffin/army-driven fights is that readers get frustrated by the human drama rather than finding it rewarding. Or worse, they find the army and McGuffiny-crap a distraction from the human stuff.

Padding

I know about this issue from the inside. Bad Things that Happen to Girls started off as a book called Foreverland, and then was untitled for a while before getting its current name. It went through two full rewrites before arriving at its current published form. When I wrote it at first, I thought it absolutely had to be a long novel, with lots of details about the girls' lives and a slow-burn breakdown, then an extended road trip in the middle and a bunch of scenes about their experiences in university.

I didn't realise I was padding it, but when I experimented with radically decreasing the timeline of events, I had a revelation. I didn't need years and paragraphs on paragraphs chronicling their lived experiences, full of pointless dialogue and meandering descriptions. All I had to do were give little samples and important moments, and that would get the idea across. Sometimes a flash reveals more than a long exposure shot, to put it in cinematic terms.

Cramming

EVERYTHING MUST HAPPEN AND IT MUST HAPPEN NOW AND HERE ARE TEN NEW CHARACTERS AND A NEW SUBPLOT AND HOLY CRAP WE MUST MAKE UP FOR WRAPPING UP TOO MANY THREADS AT THE END OF THE LAST SEASON OOPS.

The caps lock here was entirely necessary and appropriate, because with cramming, the story often feels like it's shouting at you. (Probably in German.)

The biggest problem with cramming, too, is that it requires glossing over things. If readers get interested by a small detail, they might end up screaming, "wait, go back!" long after the author's moved to another topic, or three other topics. Finding the balance between this and padding can be tricky, but the best solution I can offer is "external perspective." Get someone to read over your work, and when they lose attention, that's time to cut. It's a trick I often use with editing manuscripts - the minute my attention wavers, I mark it, just in case.

Crashing

this tends to happen to shows that have lived past their expiry date. Supernatural is a fine example of this. This is where "shark-jumping" tends to come into play; characters do things that go against their nature and development for the sake of jump-starting a narrative or adding some excitement.

Oh, the shark-jump. That's worth a mini-section of its own. Honestly, most shows either end or jump the shark in order to keep going. There's no such thing as a perfect writer or a perfect story; mostly because these things are subjective, but partly because keeping all the balls in the air for a story is just plain hard. 

Endless escalation 

Science fiction authors are prone to this, and so are epic fantasy authors. In an effort to keep reader interest, stakes rise and rise and rise, and then lose sight of the human scale of things. The problem is that stories are made of people, and if you forget about the people, you don't have a story anymore.

As with Cramming, this can lead to glossing over interesting bits as well. The full impact of a big change or shift isn't always felt if we rush to the next big, shiny thing. In real life, though, long-reaching consequences of events can have ripples for decades or even centuries. The Magna Carta was a big deal when it was signed; the effects of the Spanish Inquisitions, the Crusades, the unification of China (which happened more than once), the Viking cultural expansions, and the colonization of North America (by which I mean the land-theft and genocide of Indigenous peoples) are all still talked about to this day. 

Bad things that happen to characters need room to resonate. PTSD and trauma are not only interesting, they're natural, and even when people mostly recover from them, they leave a lasting impact. Let your characters get wrecked by something. Have characters reference things that have happened. Let characters get fatigued, collapse, and have to fix themselves. It'll not only demonstrate the actual impact of your events, it'll keep you from having to throw together another big, shiny thing to make the story more exciting (looking at you, Avengers series and mainstream comics). 

So, what tends to actually cause these writing techniques behind the scenes? 

Burnout or boredom

One of the most difficult and important factors - one which arguably contributed to the absolute mess that was the GoT finale - is just getting tired of your own damn story. When this happens, authors and creators will end up trying to revamp something with weird new twists partly to keep themselves interested, might engineer an awkward left turn to justify a foreshadowed plot element, or might just do a half-hearted wrap-up of the previous plot elements.

Here's the thing - audiences don't always consume stories at the same rate as authors write them. Many times, readers or viewers will stumble on a work and binge it in a relatively short time, so what took years for the writer will take months, at most, for the consumer. This can make tonal clashes very jarring. 

In other cases, an author will abandon a series due to writer's block or life events - a sin of which I, cough, am guilty - and then try to pick it up later. This will still impact the story, often negatively. Maybe one has just gotten well and thoroughly tired of the subject matter, or it's been done to death in the popular sphere. It doesn't really matter - either way, authors are subject to the world around them, and sometimes, the only way to deal with burnout or boredom is rotating to another project. That's fine - the only issue comes when the first project is completely abandoned, and languishes, unfinished. 

Societal changes and personal development 

I'm combining these two because the world around us affects us, and sometimes, we even affect the world. If you'd told me that Donald Trump and Boris Johnson were going to rise to power during my lifetime, I wouldn't've believed you. To many, it sounded like a bad dream. Well, here we are, and the long night has not yet come to an end. Using art to cope with dark times and critique them is a long-celebrated human trend, and there's no reason to stop now. Sure, we might fear our work aging poorly - but stories that try to be timeless always age anyhow, and an earnest time capsule often lasts longer, because it can tap into the problems of an era (which echo forward, as discussed in the section above).

If you'd told me that I'd be able to deal with my family issues in a more satisfactory way, I might have believed you - but realising the impact of that on my writing both as a Game Master and an author is another matter. However, the additional perspective and maturity of healing has, rather than distancing me from characters' struggles, provided additional objectivity and even empathy. Fixing ourselves and healing doesn't "take away our artistic magic" - far from it. If anything, getting over issues unlocks the ability to deal with them in fiction much more effectively. 

Disillusionment and insecurity

These are nasty brain demons, all right - perhaps one has taken a look at the broad span of one's work, compared it to one's goals, and feels they are just - well, left wanting. Every creator struggles with this at some point, whether crafting a story for a D&D party or for hundreds of readers or thousands of viewers. The only way to deal with it is with external perspective and turning to objective sources of both external critique and validation. 

After all, we tell ourselves things that may or may not be true all the time, and measuring them against the perceptions of the audience can drastically correct things. Your readers might just be happy to see the characters get married - never mind that it took you five years to write about them getting together. And even if they don't like something specific or complain about it or nitpick - hey, they're coming back. You compelled them. Even if the readers, say, abandon their fandom and proclaim it a trashfire - they're still paying for or giving your story attention and money. And ultimately, from a marketing perspective attention is always neutral or positive - even if that attention is controversial - because it increases profits. 

How do we even begin to fix all this? 

But.  All hope is not lost.

By acknowledging burnout, boredom, disillusionment, insecurity, personal development, and societal change - the factors which often lead to writing shortcuts detailed in the previous section - we can compensate for the natural creative struggles by accepting and anticipating them. 

Try to write books in a series in a continuous stretch when possible, making it harder to lose track of the tone or style or character journeys. Plot things out, and get yourself a hands-on editor and/or extremely trustworthy beta-readers. And forgive yourself for screwing up - then get back to writing. At least, that's what I'm doing! 

***

Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 

* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

[the-narwhals-awaken]

fanfic writer emoji ask game answered

😅 What’s a story or scene you’ve created that you’re a smidge embarrassed exists?: Honestly, Through Smoke And Bone feels a bit embarrasing, partly because it's the least lilke my typical fare and partly because it's niche even in such a large fandom.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?: The gut punches. I get a bit of everything, that's why I like to gloss over the bad stuff cause it makes me feel worse, but the gut punches usually hit me too and that's usually when I have to take a break.

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?: Puns. Bad puns, silly jokes, references to things that I saw somewhere and stuck in specifically to make me laugh.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?: I mean, not just, but in one of my WIPs I go through a perfectly normal day, continue my dramatic setup for the whole nonhuman characters and potentially corrupt place, then hit them with a horrifyingly traumatic event.

✍ Do you have a beta reader?: No.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.: I like looking at weird things. Characters who aren't human or who are different than most people, and how they interact with their community and the world at large. What do they need to change, and how do people need to adapt to them?

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?: Feathered Scales. It's over 300 pages, and it's got everything from family drama to war crimes.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉: My writing makes me happy and other people happy. People enjoy my worldbuilding because of its complexity and weirdness, not despite it.

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?: Eh, they feel like they go too fast but they're fun.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? Yes. I don't loop songs, but recently (and this varies a lot, my music tastes fluctuate) it's been Jump In The Line/Dead Mom (Reprise) from the Beetlejuice soundtrack.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write? Google Docs.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped? Several. I don't delete anything, just leave it. I can come back to things later- recently, I started work on a fic from a two-year-old outline and now it's going great!

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?: My family is aware, but none of them read it.

🍦 What’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far?: Despite the gut punches, probably the yokai AU WIP. There's just so much of it that's sweet family moments.

🍷 Do you drink and write?: No. I might snack a little, and I try to hydrate, but I need to be focused to write and anything that distracts from that is a big no.

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what’s your most popular nsfw fic?: No. I'm not comfortable with writing that.

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?: Afternoon or evening. Mornings feel like either lay in bed or be productive. Afternoon or evening I'm more awake and settled and able to write.

💖 What made you start writing?: I wanted to tell stories. Fourth and fifth grade essay assignments got me started, and I didn't stop. I wrote fic after a year or so of reading it and haven't stopped either.

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?: Love it. Not too fond of criticism or negative feedback, but the comment emails always bring a smile to my face.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?: The meet-fall in love- kiss-have sex- move in together chain. It always feels way too fast. Let them be friends first!

💲 Would you ever open commissions?: No. I don't do art, and I write on A03- as long as money stays out of the picture, I'm legally protected.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?: Not beforehand. If a question comes up, I'll try to answer it, but that's about it.

🏆 What’s your most popular fic?: Through Smoke and Bone

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?: If I'm prompted. I like Halloween cause I can go full spooky without worrying.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?: Nope! Partly that's limited comment interactions, but also because I don't write too much plotty stuff.

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?: Love it, love it, love it! Send me a link! It'll make my day!

📈 How many fics do you have?: 37 at last count.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?: Outline. I line up my timeline and the plot points I want to hit, then set the characters loose to get everything done.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!: Fem!Newt, Newt/Graves, they meet and get married before the movie and what happens when a skilled magizoologist comes looking for her husband.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?: Write, no matter what you feel like. Get the words out. Write and play a game, but keep writing.

💞 Who’s your comfort character?: I like the smart ones, the ones that build families and are happy where they are without necessarily wanting the big drama.

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?: The ones who know what they want and how to get it or deal with it. They flow so much better.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? Ask me later and sure!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?: Probably the ones where I'm poking at my sexuality by proxy, just cause it feels weird.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?: People like it and I can tell.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?: The nonhuman and the human having the same problems. Also, food as comfort.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?: No. My motivation's too whack for that.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?: I generally write in big long chunks or do a chunk a day. It depends- it can be less than an hour or three months- or in one case, half a year.

🤯 What’s a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?: Action. I feel like I can't get the pacing right, that even with strategy-focused characters I get too introspective.

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?: Fortunately not, and I hope not to break a heart on writing fic.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?: If it's something I didn't notice, it's fine, but if it's like 'they wouldn't act like that' or 'that's unrealistic' then it just makes me feel horrible. Let me have my sandbox where I can be a gremlin. Let the world not suck.

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works? Probably Outsider POV. I'm bad at tagging.

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?: Please. I love getting questions and little noticed things and having people spot my easter eggs. I love making references to other fandoms and leaving puzzles hidden and it makes me feel great when other people see them too.

[mysticdragon3md3]

Stayed up all night and practically wrote several essays, trying to convince myself to not/buy KH3 Nendo Kairi. Sorry, Kairi. Maybe if you weren't $62. Maybe if you were KH2 version. But as it is, spending that much, after also preordering other things, including a more expensive Nendo Aqua,...I just can't spend that much on a KH3 Nendo Kairi without feeling guilty. Sorry, completionism. But $62 is too high.

12:23 AM 6/22/2021

Yknow what?

If I had the choice between only having money for a 2nd Nendo Joker or a 2nd Nendo England, I'd choose Joker in a heartbeat. So what am I trying so hard to decide here? Do not preorder Hetalia World Stars version Nendo UK! Even though he's blond, you haven't had need of that. And if you really needed him blond in a photo, you could Photoshop him! but let's be serious, people want to see authentic Nendos in photoshoots, and his non-blond hair will mark him as authentic. So you don't get called a bootleg buyer! But what do you care what others think? You care that Nendo England looks like the England from your nostalgia...and for that, you need blond. And I can do that through Photoshop. Because seriously, you've barely used or looked at your current Nendo UK, you haven't been compelled/obsessed with more USUK photoshoots, you haven't even been playing with Nendos US UK much. YOU WOULD NOT EVEN _NOTICE_ IF YOU HAD 2 NENDO UK. You only need one. Your Nendo US doesn't even have sandy blond hair like your anime nostalgia! So what does it matter if UK is off-color!?! ...It matters because you have a chance to get proper-color UK hair. But I don't want to spend all this money. When I first saw this figure announcement for Hetalia World Stars version Nendo UK, my immediate thought was that I don't feel the need to have 2 Nendo UK. I already barely play with the one I have. It wasn't until I realized this 2nd edition Nendo UK has blond hair, that I started thinking I had to have it. But if that's the only reason, then I don't really need to. I don't actually have such an intense need to have it. I've barely had an intense need (anymore) to have my current Nendo UK. So I definitely don't need a 2nd one. And if saving my money on this, will allow me to get possibly a better Nendoroid later, well then, this is an opportunity to revisit that "lost battle" where I wasted money on Bayonetta, 2B, etc---*This* time, I could win that "battle". And then maybe in the future, there'll be a 2nd Joker Nendo or Nendos for Claude and Dimitri! *o* In any case, so many figures end up in the Available Now section, that blond Nendo UK will probably end up there. Or, if you're worried to not have a blond UK ready if GSC later releases a properly sandy-blond Nendo US, then I'm sure if they ever announced a 2nd Nendo Amerrica, then they'd re-release the Nendo UKs. This is not even your last chance, you might have extra money to afford a 2nd Nendo UK in the future, but for sure you know, you don't have the money to waste on a 2nd Nendo UK _right now_. So don't. Save your money for that hypothetical 2nd Nendo Joker in his school uniform, or Nendo Dimitri and Claude, or whatever gets announced from the Nendoroid Select '21 survey results. Remember, that still needs to get announced. So, no on preordering Hetalia World Stars version Nendoroid UK.

As for Kairi...Let's be honest (again). I haven't been obsessed with Kingdom Hearts in years. And even when I was, Kairi was barely in them. I don't have that much of an attachment to Kairi. Even though Oathkeeper is my favorite Keyblade because it came from Kairi, sometimes I fear that emotional impact was more the effectiveness of that plot point in that moment of the first game, more than a reflection of my attachment to Kairi. I have attachments to Riku and Sora. When their Nendoroids were announced, I preordered ALL of them right away. Even though I didn't really like KH2 Sora's outfit. Even though it pained my wallet to buy 3 pairs of the same characters, back to back. Even after all these years, those 2 were the characters I was sure of feeling attachment towards. I can't keep judging whether to buy Kairi's KH3 Nendo, based on possible attachments I might feel towards Kairi in KH3. Because I've had that game for months and I still haven't even opened the case yet! O~o! That should be my strongest indicator of my attachments towards Kairi and willingness to buy Nendos for her, especially KH3 Nendos of her. Admit it: Your KH nostalgia is all wrapped up with KH2, Birth by Sleep, and earlier. I shouldn't be making $62 purchase decisions for Kairi, based on KH3---a game that I'm apparently no longer interested in enough to play immediately. Not getting KH3 Kairi's Nendo feels bad as a completionist and as someone who has real life personal attachments to sibling-like groups of 3 friends. But I knew when she was announced that I still preferred her KH2 look, because I've just always liked long(er) hair. And I love her dress in KH2. Yes, I have to gamble on GSC eventually announcing a KH2 Nendo Kairi, and then when I get her, all my "groups of 3 friends" figure photoshoots will be limited to Sora, Riku, and Kairi's KH2 depictions...even though I don't really like KH2 Sora's look...But am I even that compelled to take photos of Sora/Riku/Kairi in the first place? I barely take pics of my current, KH1 Sora/Riku Nendos right now. But if KH3 is my last Kingdom Hearts game (even if my status is still to "eventually" play it), wouldn't I want Sora/Riku/Kairi's last depiction in my memories to be what I own as Nendoroids? I mean, it would be the perfect end-cap image to the series for me. And Square said that KH3 is the end of the Xehanort Saga or something. It's the end cap. ---There I go, basing a Nendoroid purchase on a game I haven't even played yet, while I ALSO already know I prefer Kairi's KH2 look. Y'know what? What if they do eventually release a KH2 Kairi, a KH1 Kairi, even Terra and Ven as Nendoroids? They'll definitely choose some previous Nendos to re-release alongside them! And if they release another version of Kairi, then guess what? The re-release will be KH3 Kairi. And maybe by then, I'll have the money for this. Or at least, the results for the Nendoroids Select '21 survey would have been released by then, and then I can know whether my money can go towards a character I want more, or towards a KH3 Kairi re-release. I mean, it'd be different if Kairi played a bigger role in KH3, and though I've been staying away from most spoilers, I did hear that she got sidelined AGAIN. And sure, it seems she might be the protagonist of the upcoming rhythm game, but I may not get that. I'm stopping at KH3, remember? So if she's getting sidelined in KH3 again and in the rhythm game, she's like asleep or something, reminiscing, just being used as the overall story's framing device,...then that doesn't sound like a lot of screentime for me to get attached to her. I mean, when I was younger, I thought Kairi did a lot in KH2, but I didn't cry when she reunited with Sora, I cried when Sora and Riku reunited. (I don't even ship those babies! LOL) ---I feel really bad writing all this to convince myself that I don't like Kairi enough to spend $62 on her. It's not like I hate her. I don't even *dislike* her! I LIKE her!!!! It's just...I've been retroactively organizing my Nendoroid

inventory lately, and I've been seeing all the money I've wasted on figures that I only bought out of completionism, that made me cringe inside at the pain this would cause my wallet, because I didn't love the character enough to jump and thrash in my chair with excitement, when I saw their figure announcements and "DAMN THE COST!"... If KH3 Kairi Nendo can't make me feel that way, then I shouldn't be buying her.

There's a perfect counter example in this month's preorder interests!!! I wasn't expecting Pop Up Parade Kikyo! I don't even like static scale figures! I like articulated figures! And chibi too! Pop Up Parade isn't either of those things! And I haven't been a fan of Inuyasha in years! I haven't been obsessing over anything Rumiko Takahashi in years! But when I saw Kikyo's Pop Up Parade announced, I knew I had to buy her. I jumped up and thrashed in my chair. I gasped. I uttered "ohmygawd" over and over like I was losing my mind. Even now, I occasionally browse her announcement pics, just to admire my waifu some more. That's how ALL my figure preorders should make me feel.

And I don't feel that way about KH3 Nendo Kairi.

And I don't feel that way about Hetalia World Stars version Nendo UK/England.

I kind of want to be suspicious if Nendo Aqua makes me feel that way, but what's there to be suspicious about? I'm too attached to her. The majority of my favorite cosplay memories are attached through her. On top of that, her character design is so pretty! She qualifies as what I call in my figure collecting, a "beauty piece", a figure whose design or sculpt is so pretty, that whether I even know the character/series is negligible for me to enjoy owning that figure. Aqua's got that AND she's endeared herself to me. Plus, she's a nice character. I got invested in her BBS story, her 0.2 story, and curiosity about her in KH3 is a big part of why I never concede that I'll someday play that game. I like Aqua. And her character design is pretty. I shouldn't feel guilty about preordering her Nendoroid this month. Even if a future hypothetical Ky Kiske Nendoroid gets announced in the possible future, I would gladly spend money on both Aqua and Ky. I'd make my budget work.

So, sounds like I'm preordering:

Pop Up Parade Kikyo

Nendoroid Aqua

and that's it.

1:37 AM 6/22/2021

Y'know the funny thing is that I feel like if GSC did announce a KH2 Kairi, I'd want KH3 Kairi too. ...She is pretty cute... Damn it. This wouldn't be such a problem if she wasn't $62!!!!!

Looking back through my Nendoroid Inventory, most of my 2017 Nendoroids were under $40! That's because the currency exchange rate was to our advantage. Because the US$ was stronger vs the yen back then, we got everything pretty much at least $5 off! But now we buy from GSC Shop US, and their prices don't account for currency exchange rate changes. (But can I justify switching back to preordering from GSC's international shop, when they have $20 shipping vs GSC US's $3/figure shipping, and we're still in a pandemic so I should limit my purchases to as local as possible? I feel like especially in the pandemic, I have to stick to the GSC US shop.) A 4000yen Nendo isn't $35.30 like it was for me in 2017. Now a 4000yen Nendo is probably like $40 at GSC Shop US. Hold on...Browsing through the GSC international online shop...Even the simple Nendos, like this Nendoroid Steven A Starphase, just a guy in a suit, is already 6930yen! These Bofuri Nendo preorders right now? BOTH ARE 6600YEN EACH!!! In 2017, I got the freaking special edition harvest moon Kagamine Len and Rin Nendoroids for $35.30 each!. I thought that maybe Square was charging GSC extra licensing fees since they would prefer to make money off their own figure lines (Play Arts Kai, Bring Arts, Play Arts Mini, etc.). But it seems like Nendoroids are just more expensive in 2021. O______________O!!!!!!!!!!!! In 2017/2018, even the freaking Madoka Magica maiko version Nendoroids were only $42.36, $43.99, $39.71! And those had so many tiny printed floral details! And accessories! O~o! Same for my detailed Touken Ranbu and KanColle Nendoroids back then! O_O!?!?!???????!!!??????????? Nendoroids are just going to be more expense now. Wow.

I guess the important thing is that if I buy Nendo Kairi, that when it comes time to unbox her, I don't get that sickly unboxing feeling in my stomach, where I can't believe I spent money on this. Like, Kiso is cool, but I don't know her and I'm certainly not obsessed with her. I shouldn't have bought her, especially for over $50. Same with the Akizuki sisters. Probably same with Shoukaku, though she seemed nice in the anime. And certainly the lack of attachment applies to my Nendoroid Iowa. More than half my Touken Ranbu Nendoroids, I bought without really knowing their characters. Half of them, I bought just to prove to Good Smile Company, the demand for male figures. Soon after those first few TouRabu toudans, GSC announced their Orange Rouge line: "Good Smile Company and Max Factory's brand dedicated to male character figures and goods." And yeah, I'm super sentimental enough that even though I didn't really know these characters, now that they're in my collection, they're MINE, they're my precious little tsukumogami babies, whom I wouldn't trade away, no matter how much my finances complain. Plus, I have so much anxiety, that selling/trading is too much stress for me. If my reluctant and failed attempts to sell the lesser parts of my manga collection at swap meets have proven, is that even if I wasn't obsessed with the thing I collected, and even if I have an easy opportunity to get rid of them, WHILE making money in doing so,...I still just can't do it. That's why I threw away all my Nendoroids' packaging plastics when I ran out of storage room for them. I knew I was too chicken and too sentimental to ever sell any of my Nendoroids. Even the ones that gave me that sickly unboxing feeling in my stomach, thinking about the $50+ money I wasted.

---Even when I could have instead been spending it on Nendoroids of characters I actually love! What if a school uniform Nendo Joker gets announced? Or a Nendoroid Claude and Dimitri? What about Nendoroids for Ky, Sol, Lady, Lelouch, Rukia, etc.??? Sure, I can squeeze things into my budget right now. But if that time comes later, when I'll want a Nendo schoolboy Joker or a Nendo Rukia, and I don't have the money for them, will a Nendoroid KH3 Kairi have been worth it? I mean, I already prefer her KH2 look over her KH3 look. Why do I have to care if I don't have a matching Kairi to my Sora/Riku Nendos in my figure photos? Why do I have to be so completionist about this? People will understand that not everyone can afford matching Nendoroids. Hell, my Nendo America and Nendo England don't match! One is from Hetalia World Stars! The other is from Hetlaia The World Twinkle! No one cares! What's important is that I have the 2 characters from my ship in the same pic or the same shelf! No one cares if they match! If I prefer KH2 Kairi, then I should hold-out for her and then take goddamn pictures of her with KH3 Sora/Riku if I want! Hell, I prefer KH2 Riku's look too! I'll just swap out Sora and take pics of KH2 Riku with KH2 Kairi, and KH3 Sora! ...That is, if GSC eventually makes a KH2 Nendo Kairi.

omg I'm going in circles again. I need a snack break.

8:15 AM 6/22/2021

I'm too tired now to remember all the thoughts I wrote about and thought through. x~x;

8:43 AM 6/22/2021

If I skipped KH3 Nendoroid Kairi, would I even miss her? I mean, before, I was so hung up on my Nendo UK not being blond, but now I realize that I barely even think about that, nor even often think of that Nendoroid itself, very often. Hardly ever, actually. Will it be similar with Kairi? I mean,I don't look at my KH1 Sora/Riku Nendo and lament about how I don't have a KH1 Kairi Nendo to go with them. I actually don't really like Kairi's KH1 look. I guess I only really like her KH2 look. So why not hold out for KH2 Kairi Nendoroid possibly being announced in the future? But what if they never make a Nendo Kairi besides this KH3 Kairi, and I miss out on this one and only Kairi, while holding out for a Nendo of KH2Kairi? I hate gambling. But if I skipped KH3 Nendo Kairi now, would I even miss her?.......... She's $62 and I should save my money.

10:12 AM 6/22/2021

I think you should buy figures that you feel good about spending $62 on. Figures that you don't feel guilty about buying. If Nendoroid KH3 Kairi makes you feel guilty, like $62 is not worth it or too much, then don't buy her. Wait for a KH2 Nendo Kairi that will make you feel good to spend on.

But I feel so bad to pass her up! Ugh! This is so hard! ;o;

10:30 AM 6/22/2021

Funny the clarity you can have while brushing and flossing your teeth. If I feel bad spending $62 on Nendo KH3 Kairi, then she must not mean that much to me. She's not worth $62 to me.

I remember when I first saw her announced at WonHobby and I felt safe from needing to buy her. I even commented on GSC's Twitter, that my suddenly finding her cute, threatened my original security and certainty in knowing I didn't feel compelled to buy her.

Remember:

1) Don't buy based on predicted attachments to a character in a game you haven't played yet. I haven't played KH3 yet.

2) If Kairi changes my mind after I play KH3, then she'll probably get a re-release later anyway.

3) When you first saw KH3 Nendo Kairi, your first thought wasn't that I needed her. It was that I felt secure that I didn't need her.

4) You don't have money to spare for a Nendo you're unsure about liking to the worth of $62. Because you didn't expect a Pop Up Parade Kikyo nor her unexpected costs, even if it is relatively cheap. And you still need enough money for a $65 Nendo Aqua. You don't have enough money for any half-certain, hesitating likes towards KH3 Kairi Nendoroid.

5) Other people are skipping KH3 Nendo Kairi even though they also want to buy her.

(https://twitter.com/guttural/status/1406709434592735237) "I want her, but I'm so broke and already ordered the Axel and Roxas Nendos ;_;"

10:38 AM 6/22/2021

I'm going to tell Kuya, I don't need Nendo KH3 Kairi. And then I'm going to forget I was even considering buying her. KH2 and KH3 Sora/Riku Nendoroids are going to come in, and I won't even miss her. Just like I do now, with my KH1 Sora/Riku Nendoroids. And I will wait for a KH2 Nendo Kairi. And when she does get announced, I'll preorder her without regret, because I prefer that character design.

2:33 AM 6/28/2021

I really wanted to get Swacchao Nendoroid Hinata. I was originally just going to get the Swacchao parts since I already have the full Nendoroid Hinata Shoyo. I didn't need a seated Hinata, but as a completionist and Hinata fan, I thought I SHOULD get Swacchao Hinata, or at least the seated Swacchao parts.

But then I had this idea that when I return to an office job, it'd be so nice to have Nendoroid Swacchao Hinata at my desk with me. I had had ideas before about bringing a Nendoroid or 2 to my next office job. I even bought Nendoroid Aoba Suzukaze for that reason. (She's an "office lady" and her accessories include dialogue bubbles of her shouting about doing her best. I thought it'd be really encouraging to have at work.) But I was worried about leaving an actual Nendoroid at my desk, overnight. Would I pack up my desk's Nendoroid(s) each night before I clocked out? Impractical. Should I only use Nendoroids of characters I don't care too much about, to decorate my office desk? But if it's not a character I love, then how is their presence encouraging? And being encouragaing is the entire point of desk decor at a soul-killing job. But then here are these Nendoroid Swacchao Hinata Shoyo announcements! Less than $30! I could have a character I love, from an explicitly encouraging series, and being essentially a dupliate of a Nendoroid I already have, I shouldn't worry too much about him getting stolen from any desk of mine.

But I just can't justify buying a duplicate of a character I already have. I was already cutting out Kageyama and Yuuji from my preorder candidates. I'm in the middle of cataloging my Nendoroid inventory and fully realizing how much money I've wasted on Nendoroids of characters I didn't know, barely knew, liked but didn't love, duplicates of characters I already had, etc. It had to stop. So no Swacchao Kageyama for me. And if we're being honest about my terrible spending, then I really shouldn't be getting either type of Swacchao Hinata either. No more duplicates of characters. ;_; No matter how much I want them. ;_____;