#been here since “how do i top lesbians?”

[loycos]

fuck it, sex scene analysis:

since cait and vi don't actually have that many scenes this act, why did they choose to show us this? cause like always, there's more than just horny lesbians (finally!) getting to break all that tension.

so we joke about top\bottom bullshit all the time, but in this scene it actually matters to both characters. first of all, i think it's pretty clear vi "tops" here. if u don't see it, let me spell it out for you.

when vi first kisses cait, there's a short period where their kiss looks unsynchronized.

cait is clearly just taken by surprise, right? well, i don't think so. she came in that cell with a VERY flirty tone. she was making moves, ready to play her game. what u see in the very few first seconds is caitlyn trying to set the pace and getting completely DENIED. vi doesnt let her, so she submits to vi's tempo.

in here, cait's chasing vi's lips, but vi already decided it's neck kisses time. again, vi sets the tempo, caitlyn follows.

^oh u wanted some soft touches? tough luck, cupcake, we're doing this now.

this pattern repeats during the entire sex scene, and the message is clear: cait's not in control, vi is. why does that matter? it's important for their arcs. for starters: cait's a topsider, vi is from the undercity. this is just a very clear "subversion" of what you'd expect from that power dynamic.

second, think of how these 2 girls' arcs played the entire season. caitlyn has been in control since act 1- in their relationship, since vi's guilt led her to pretty much agree to anything caitlyn asks, but also socially. she inherited her mom's position as the head of house kiramman. she was promoted to a commander position of a strike squad and then to basically the main ruler of piltover under marshall law. when caitlyn is in a bad space mentally, the first thing she does is try to regain control. most of the time, her bad mental state was caused because she lacked control ("none of this is on our terms!"). she has so much control of so many things in her life, but does she want it? in most cases, it's almost like she was forced\stumbled into it.

and vi, poor vi, has only known lack of control since she was a child. no matter how hard she tries, things always slip out of her hands, and she's the one to suffer for it. she spent her entire life trying to make other people's lives better, at the expense of her own. she was fucked by the circumstances of her life, that she had no control over, so many times. and her sister just locked her in a cage and told her to stop chasing her. vi would usually run after her sister, yet again trying to amend her, but for once in her life, she makes an active decision and chooses caitlyn. putting her wants and needs first. and it is very important that this decision feels DELIBERATE on vi's part, and not just a compromise.

so vi gets control, and caitlyn lets go of it. it's what they both needed.

Had a feeling I might find you here. I really believed she'd help. Say it. You told me so. I was an idiot to trust her. I went behind your back. I choose wrong every time. And because of it, I've lost everyone.

VIOLET & CAITLYN in ARCANE 2x08 "Killing is a Cycle"

[teammoth]

Kept waiting for new Valcarol fanart before remembering I can just make my own

[lovelettersfromluna]

Not Strong Enough

Summary: Rule number 1 of being best friends with a vampire. Never let them drink your blood.

an: I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME IM SORRY!! This took entirely too long to get to you guys, but it’s here now! Better late than never right?? Is this heavily inspired by twilight? Yes. Did I use a BoyGenius song as the title? It’s lesbian smut, obviously. Is Ellie going to be a brooding depressed vampire? Oh hell yeah. I hope you all like this! I’m a slut for anything supernatural so this was obvi very fun for me to write. As always, love you all so so much! Thanks for reading 🤍

Warnings: SMUT!!, MDNI!!, scissoring (if ur mad I’m doing another scissoring fic….idk what to tell you it’s hot), messy kissing, Ellie bites reader (outside of blood sucking), mentions of marking, mentions of bruises, mentions of blood, Ellie is kind of insufferable for a small bit but I promise it gets better, please lmk if I missed anything!

Read part 1 here!!

Ellie knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning.

She knew that she was too weak for you, even outside of sucking your blood. You were too fucking good for her, too much of a dream for Ellie to go and fuck up like she did.

Truth be told, Ellie expected all of it. She expected to get utterly addicted to you, she expected the blurred lines of your relationship to become even more blurred when she began sucking you dry of your life source, she even expected herself to lose control when she was in the act, humping and grinding your soft body like a wild fucking animal as if she had no control over herself.

She expected all of it, every single aspect that came with the territory, she knew was coming.

But the hardest part of it all? Was leaving you completely.

Because she knew the moment she felt herself lose control while she was on top of you that night in your apartment, she knew she needed to leave you. She needed to abandon you and your friendship for the greater good, for your sake.

Ellie knew that she wasn’t good for you, and you weren’t good for her. But that didn’t make the pain of not seeing you any less.

She thought she’d be able to do it at first, but the texts from you only reminded her of how much she loved your company, how obsessed she was with simply being around you.

She wound frown every time her phone went off, a low groan leaving her lips when she lifted it up to look at her screen, only to see it was from you.

Ellieeeeee

Where are you?

Haven’t seen u in the longest :((

Ellie can practically hear your pout in the way you text her. She knows you too well, and she knows that you aren’t handling her sudden disappearance well.

At this point, it’s been about two months since Ellie has seen you last? Maybe three? She stopped keeping count because it was driving her insane. It wasn’t even the blood supply that she missed, Ellie would go hungry ten times over, dying from starvation if it meant she could be around you without feeling she was robbing you of your life, ruining things that you were meant to experience because she was too fucking selfish.

Ellie misses you, and it pains her that she hasn’t been able to have you in so long.

Well…not entirely at least. She knew she’d lose her mind entirely if she couldn’t at least be around you for a few moments, so her usual nighttime visits become a bit more frequent when she decides she can’t be around you anymore. She’s a lot more careful when she does it though, knowing how sensitive you were to her presence. It was almost unbelievable how easily you’d woken up to her in your room in the past. She doesn’t know how she’d explain things if you woke up now, not having seen her in so long. So she’s extra aware of how much noise she makes.

Seeing you sleep is almost enough to keep Ellie’s demons at bay, the ones that screamed for you, yearned for you to be by her side, to have your warm skin pressed against her much colder one.

As per usual, she’s scaling up the brick wall of your apartment building, making her way up to your bedroom like thief in the night. You continue to leave your window open every night, and it breaks Ellie’s heart because she knows you’re doing it for her, most likely hoping she slips into your window as she usually does.

It means Ellie needs to be even more careful than she anticipated.

She doesn’t even dare to sit on your bed, standing in the corner of your room as she watches your chest rise and fall. She doesn’t even breathe, scared that the sound of it will wake you.

And she desperately wants to reach out and let her fingers run along your soft skin, desperate for the feeling that you always brought her when you’re near. It makes her fists balk at her sides as she practically itches to feel you, fighting back any and every thought that she had to touch you, if even for a moment.

But she doesn’t. Instead, he stays with you just before the sun rises. She knows it’s risky, and she knows she shouldn’t do it in the event that you wake up and see her. Even if she’s fast enough to dart out of your room before you can even call her name or turn the lights on, you’re too smart for that. You’d know what was happening before she can even begin to gaslight you into thinking it was simply a dream.

She can’t help herself, not when it comes to you. Seeing you sleep satisfies the burning feeling in her chest, the one that yearns so desperately for you, it’s enough to make her knees weak. It’s almost like you’re capable of evoking the same feelings she had when she was a human, when she was weak and stupid and felt nervous around women. Until you showed up, Ellie hadn’t experienced those feelings in a long time, she’d almost forgotten about them.

You always remind her though.

Like when she’s about to leave you, knowing she’s cutting it too close to the time you’re going to wake up and start your day. Her footsteps are practically silence, even against the old, creaky floorboards of your apartment.

She’s almost out of your window, one leg outside as she plants her foot against the fire escape when she hears it. You began mumbling in your sleep, tossing a bit, clearly bothered by whatever dream you were having. While this should’ve been the clearest sign for Ellie to leave as quickly as possible before your eyes opened a bit to see her, she doesn’t. Instead, she stays sat on your window sill, simply watching as you turn to face her, eyes still closed as you pout in your sleep.

If Ellie had a heart that was still beating, she’s sure it would’ve stopped. Because suddenly your mumbling is just clear enough for her to hear.

“Ellie….” You sigh out softly, barely loud enough for the undead girl to hear, but she does. Regardless of the city waking up below her, or the sound of your ceiling fan creaking about, she hears it. It makes her frown deeply, swallowing back the intense whimper that threatens to escape and echo throughout your room.

She isn’t sure if she’s ever left your room so quickly, the girls eyes going wide as she made the familiar path down the side of your building to your side walk.

Even when she got home that night, the vampire practically breaking the front door down of her apartment to get in, she couldn’t get the sound of your voice uttering her name so sweetly, calling out for her even in the depths of sleep that you were in, tugged so deeply by your dreams, you were still calling out for her.

Ellie knew that night, that she had to stay away from her. For both your sake, and her own.

And she’s right, because you were suffering just as much as Ellie was.

Ellie’s presence was always scarce, and while it bothered you a bit before you learned what she was, it made sense. She was a creature of the night, something that seemingly only existed in storybooks, coming to life and living the strange lifestyle that she did.

But you knew immediately that this was different.

The morning after you saw Ellie last left a bitter taste in your mouth. As you woke up that morning, your neck sore with the bruises of Ellie’s lips on your skin, body far too drained and tired even after a night of a sleep that was just a bit too deep. It was similar to almost all the times Ellie had drank from you the night prior.

So, why did you feel so bad that morning?

You knew that you didn’t owe Ellie anything, that you were the one to suggest this in the first place, so there truly wasn’t any room for you to be upset for reasons unknown. What were you even supposed to say to her? That you had a weird feeling? One that you desperately wanted her to relieve by telling you it was all okay?

As much as you wanted to, you knew things between you and Ellie weren’t like that.

You were her friend. You were just her friend, and as much as you wanted more, you knew deep down that if Ellie truly wanted you that way, she would’ve made you she’s a long time ago.

And maybe that’s what bothers you the most when this little dry spell occurs, because the sudden lack of her presence leaves you entirely too much time to dwell on things, wondering what it was that you did wrong, what you could have possibly said to create this sudden rift between the two of you.

Ellie had always been flirtatious, flashing that pretty smile in your direction that made you weak in the knees, calling you sweet names that made your heart beat faster. She was practically dangling it all right in front of your face, the frequent touches, the late night visits at the foot of your bed, all this time when you have her the benefit of the doubt, chalking it all up to her simply wanting to see you and nothing more than that, suddenly made no sense to you.

With time came confusion, and with confusion came anger, desperate to understand why she left you, what you had done to possibly make her so scarce so suddenly. And once the third month had hit without seeing Ellie, you were furious, feeling as though you had one choice and one choice only.

To find Ellie, and get the answers from her yourself.

You don’t go to Ellie’s apartment, not usually at least.

Ellie always told you she liked hanging out at your place, going on and on about how warm and cozy it was being there. She’d never admit it to you because she didn’t want you to think she was a freak, but being in a place that smelled so heavily like you made her brain go absolutely insane.

You’ve been there maybe a handful of times, sometimes heading to her place after a night out, or even stopping by whenever you were in the neighborhood. Bottom line was, your apartment was the designated hang out spot for you and Ellie.

Regardless though, you remember how to get there like it’s written on the back of your hand. You thought about Ellie’s apartment a lot, loving how much the space reflected her. You always wished you had the chance to stay there more often.

You can’t think about that though, not now. Not when you’re storming down the expensive halls of her complex down to her door, and landing a heavy fist on the door. All you can truly care about now, is seeing Ellie and demanding an explanation for her sudden disappearance.

And it’s all so unlike you, so out of your character. If it was anyone else, you’d let it go, giving yourself a few days to sulk before forgetting about it all together and simply moving on. Maybe it’s because it’s Ellie, and maybe it’s because you feel a tad bit used after being her personal buffet for the last few times you’d been around her, just for her to up and leave.

It’s most definitely that. You just don’t want to admit it in fears of sounding selfish.

You land another firm knock on her door when she doesn’t answer in time, feeling yourself grow angrier as the moments pass.

Soon, she’s finally opening the door. The image of her nearly takes your breath away.

Because Ellie always looks beautiful, perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t seen her in some time, but she looks fucking ethereal standing before you. So tall, so confident, her eyes so fucking dark, piercing through your very soul as she stares down at you. Her lips look like rubies compared to her cold, pale skin, so plump and kissable.

All you can think about is the way they felt pressed against your throat, and it makes you lift your hand to press against the two small circular scars on your neck.

Ellie frowns deeply as she eyes you, eyebrows furrowed and expression virtually unreadable.

“What are you doing here” she mumbles out, shifting on her feet awkwardly. Her question alone sets the fire off in your chest again, making you seethe as you take a deep inhale before responding.

“Are you kidding me Ellie?” You practically spit out, staring up at the girl in disbelief.

She lets out a soft sigh, her tattooed hand coming up to rub her face roughly before it moves up to rub through her hair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she manages before she tries shutting her door in your face. “You can’t be here” she mumbles out softly, the girl fully expecting to be able to shut the door.

You however, have other plans.

You’re quick to press your hand against the door, stopping her from closing it before you practically force yourself between it. Ellie’s eyes widen a bit at this, not used to seeing you so forward.

Soon, you’re pushing yourself into her apartment, your palm pressing against your forehead as you began pacing back and forth Ellie’s lavish apartment.

“I don’t…I don’t understand you Ellie. Is it something I said? Did I do something? If so please enlighten me I beg you” you blurt out, all of the words fumbling out of your mouth in one breath.

Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you pace back and forth her apartment, her eyebrows furrowed. She can truly see the damaged shes caused when she sees you like this, because it was much easier to watch you when you slept, so peaceful and unaware of the troubles that came with her absence. She knew you were going to blame yourself, and as much as she knew she couldn’t allow you to do that to yourself, she knew staying away was even more important.

Seeing you like this was possibly the hardest thing Ellie had to ever endure.

You don’t stop there, taking advantage of the lack of a response from Ellie to continue ranting.

“Is it because of the blood thing? If so I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for simply caring enough to make sure you didn’t die from starvation or whatever it is that happens to you when you don’t eat. I’m sorry for making sure that you were okay, if that was so wrong please tell me…” your words trail off as you let out an exasperated sigh, your feelings and emotions becoming far too much as you practically sob out to her.

But then you’re pausing, your chest rising and falling quickly as you struggle to catch your breath. Ellie isn’t entirely sure why you’ve suddenly stopped, your back towards her as you stand there, doing god knows what.

When you finally turn around, your eyes are red and your cheeks are wet with tears.

“Were you just….using me? As your personal fucking blood bag?” Your words are shaky as you hold back another sob, your fists balled down at your sides.

Ellie freezes when you say this, because this is exactly what she was fucking afraid of.

It was a common theme throughout…her people. Vampires were notoriously alluring, seducing countless innocent and clueless victims into being their personal meal. The humans were almost always oblivious to what was being done to them, vampires often times using this to their advantage to keep them under their spell for as long as possible. It would most commonly been done in a way that made the humans believe the vampires loved them, dangling them by a thread as they promised them a life of eternity together, to live in immortality, side by side until the end of times. It almost never ended that way though, the vampires would suck and suck and suck until one day they went a bit too far, and their obedient human keeled over and died.

Ellie never wanted things to be that way with you.

She never even wanted you to think it was that way. She wanted you to understand that this was entirely up to you, and it could stop whenever you wanted it to. It’s why she constantly voiced to you that this was still a factor right before she fed off of you. Ellie would rather die than use you for a source of food, because truthfully you were far too good for that, too fucking pure to be used as something as low as a food source.

So when the words leave your lips, Ellie sees red.

Shes in front of you in less than a second, towering over you and staring down into your tear soaked eyes. Her nostrils are flared as she tries to hold back from tearing down her entire apartment complex around the both of you.

“You can’t possibly be stupid enough to think I’d ever use you for something so low..” her voice is low, and there’s a gravel in it that makes your core tighten and your chest bloom with something you can’t quite place, a feeling that can only be shelved in your mind right next to where Ellie takes place.

You don’t hack one, hot tears continuing to spill from your eyes as you stare at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“It makes sense….get your fix and then leave me like I’m nothing…this was probably your plan all along” you grit out.

Ellie licks her lips, knowing that you’re hurting just as much as she is, and your words are simply coming from a place of confusion, desperate to understand why she did what she did to you, why she left without a trace.

She leans in, her face a mere inches from yours. You can smell her minty breath wafting onto your face, and it’s bizarre because even that has a slight chill to it. It makes your cheeks cold, and it makes you want to reach out and warm her up.

“I would rather die a million deaths before using you for that…you and I both know this” she seethes out.

And it makes you whimper, because Ellie’s always been so fucking intense, so poetic. It makes your insides flip upside down, and your eyebrows knit together as you struggle to hold back a whimper.

Your features soften as you continue to cry in front of her. “Then why did you leave me…” you whisper out to the girl.

It breaks her heart how desperate you are for this. Not even for her, but simply for answers. All you want is to understand why she left, what you did to make her abruptly disappear without a single word.

Ellie’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, her pink tongue darting out to lick her plush lips before she finally speaks.

“I’ve never…been so weak for someone…in my entire life” she breaths out.

It surely isn’t what you’re expecting her to say. You think she’s going to say she’s gotten enough of you, or she just couldn’t handle having someone like you around. Hell, you were even beginning to think she was trying to cover up all her roots here and start somewhere else.

“I always have been…from the moment I fucking laid eyes on you, I knew you weren’t good for me…you’re too good for me” she continues, her eyes fluttering open as she finally stares down into yours. You can finally look into yours as you blink away the tears that are pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, and it allows you to see the pain in her eyes, just how much she’d been struggling with all of this.

“It isn’t even your blood…it made it worse, yes…but just being around you is like…it’s like a fucking drug to me. You give me this feeling that I can’t…I can’t even begin to describe how fucking euphoric you make me feel” each of her words sounds like a plea, a plea for you to let her go, to unhand her from the death grip you have on her.

“And suddenly I’m always in your apartment, and you’re offering yourself to me and it’s like a dream come true and I feel like a fucking monster when I’m on top of you, sucking you dry of your fucking blood” it’s her turn to start pacing, running her hands through her hair as she settles one of her hands on her hip, she moves slower than you were, simply voicing the struggles she’s seemed to have with you from the moment you met.

She finally turns towards you, and she’s slowing make her way to where you’ve been standing this entire time. When she’s right back where she was, stood right in front of you, she takes your hand into hers ever so gently. It’s enough to make you flinch, how cold she is in contrast to your hot skin. She sighs, bringing your hand up to cradle her cheek, and her eyes flutter shut, nearly rolling back as she presses a soft kiss to your palm.

“I’m not strong enough for you…I don’t think I ever will be” she finally admits, and it’s like she’s not only admitting it to you, but to herself as well.

You hold back a whine as she kisses your palm, her lips so soft, so gentle with you.

“Then…then don’t be…why can’t you just let things happen” you sigh out as you stare up at her, in awe as the girl leaned into your touch as if it were her life line.

You aren’t even entirely sure what you’re asking her for, what this so called ‘thing’ is that she won’t let happen. Is it the feeding you’re alluding to? An act of true platonic kindness? Or are you asking for more, are you begging for something that Ellie has deprived you both of for the sake of the greater good?

Both you and Ellie have these same questions running through your minds.

She chuckles dryly against your skin, shaking her head as her hand gives your wrists a gentle squeeze.

“You aren’t even sure what it is you’re asking for…not from someone like me” she admits, eyes opening as she finally looks down at you again.

“I can’t…give you the things you deserve. I’m not capable of being the perfect person for you, not when I am what I am” her words are like venom on her tongue, the girl utterly disgusted with the monster that she became against her own will, the hell that she was forced to live over and over again with no foreseeable end.

“The only thing I can do, is take from you…I take and take and take….” Her words trail off, a soft frown on her lips before she finally looks at you once again.

“Until I’ve taken everything that you have…and there is no more of you to offer” she whispers out, as if the mere thought of a world without you pains her so much to say, she barely wants to say it.

You lick your lips, your eyes searching hers before you quickly shake your head.

“Do you want me? The same way that I want you?” You question carefully, fearful of what it is that she might say, worried that you’d been reading things entirely wrong, even after Ellie basically confessed how utterly obsessed she is with you.

She smirks softly, humming lowly as she gently brings your hand down to her lips, pressing another gentle kiss to it.

“It’s like I’ve waited my entire life for you, baby….saying that I want you would be an understatement” she chuckles out softly.

And you aren’t entirely sure how it even gets to this point, because you marched over to Ellie’s apartment with a purpose, that purpose being to yell at her and get the answers you deserved. But suddenly you’re standing in front of her, and your heart is exploding with so many different emotions and feelings, all of them for Ellie, and she’s just confessed to you that she wants you like you want her.

And you have no choice, but to kiss her.

It catches Ellie off guard, a soft whine leaving her lips as accepts your lips with gratitude, her arms moving down to drape along your waist as she pulls you closer.

It’s everything she’s ever dreamt it would be. Your lips soft and sweet against her own, your skin so warm and inviting, making her drink you up, fueling her with the warmth she’s lacked since the day she died. But despite how good it feels, she knows this is wrong, and it goes against everything she said she’d do for your sake.

Ellie breaks way first, watching as you struggle to catch your breath from the intense kiss. She’s quick to stop you from leaning in again, her hand cupping your face as she stares into your eyes.

“Angel…we can’t…I told you, I’m no good for you” she sighs out, the words paining her to even say.

You give her a soft pout, your arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely as you press your warm body against hers.

“I trust you Ellie….I know that you’d never hurt me” you sigh out softly as you stare into her eyes, your hand coming up to tuck a strand of her soft hair behind her ear.

“We don’t have to do the blood thing…but I just…can’t we just give us a try?” Your eyes are wide as you speak, eager to feel Ellie’s lips against yours again, even if for a moment. You don’t even take into consideration that she could say no, that she could turn you around and throw you out of her apartment without another word, doubling down on what she said she’d do with you.

But as Ellie said before, she’s just too fucking weak for you.

And hearing you ask for it, ask for her, it has her stomach in knots, and she feels like no matter what it is you ask her, she couldn’t possibly say no to you.

“What are you doing to me…” she sighs softly before she leans in to kiss you again, reciprocating the passion and heat that you gave her mere moments ago. You whine against her, your hands sliding back to tug at her hair, keeping her close as your lips moves against hers, your warm tongue sliding against hers.

“Missed you so much…” you sigh against her, and it makes Ellie groan softly as she nods, hands sliding down to grip your waist as she walks you back towards her bedroom, lips never leaving yours.

“Missed you more than anything, angel” she mumbles against your lips as she presses her palm against her bedroom door behind you, pushing it open and leading you further inside.

Ellie’s bedroom smells like her. It’s dark, and cold but oh so comforting. You practically sigh against her lips when you feel her laying your body down against her black silk sheets, the expensive material like butter on your skin. It makes your senses go in overdrive, Ellie’s hands caressing your skin, roaming around your body as her tongue rubs against yours in a dirty, passionate kiss.

“Don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this…” she sighs softly, her lips breaking away from yours to kiss along your jaw, down to your throat. You don’t miss the way Ellie kisses the now faded marks of her teeth on your neck, licking the skin softly before she sucks into it, sure to leave dark marks in the morning.

“Missed marking you up baby….” She hums against you, drinking in the sweet moans that leave your mouth, the sound alone like music to her ears.

Your mind is fuzzy, almost blank besides the thoughts of Ellie that stood in the forefront of your brain. It was like she was filling you up entirely, making you almost overwhelmed with her. Her scent, her cold skin, her soft hands, all of it was almost too much, a combination of sensory overload that kissed your skin so deliciously.

Soon she’s kissing down your body, practically worshiping her as her lips work on your soft skin. Her hands are pushing up your t-shirt, kissing your stomach and your ribcage until she’s tugging you up a bit to skillfully slip your shirt over your head. You’re bare before her, her lips matching onto your pebbled nipples as her tattooed hands work on your soft shorts, tugging them down your legs.

You don’t miss the way her tongue swirls around your nipple before letting go with a pop, lips moving up to nip at your collar bone with her flat teeth. Hard enough to leave a mark, but gentle enough to not break skin.

You giggle softly, bending your legs back to help as she tugs your shorts and panties off. She’s slotting herself between your legs, humming softly as she gives you a smirk.

“Something funny baby?” She questions before leaning in to press another kiss to the corner of your lips. You nod, a dreamy smile on your lips as you bring your hand down to tug at the hem of Ellie’s t-shirt.

“Seems like old habits never die, that’s all….need this off” you huff out softly, fingers fumbling between the hem of her t shirt and the waistband of her sweats.

Ellie chuckles at how eager you are before she nods, pulling back to tug her shirt off before she rolls over a bit to pull off her sweats and underwear as well before she makes her way back between your legs, towering over you as she crawls into you like a predator would its prey.

And it leaves your pussy soaking wet, because it’s better than you could’ve ever imagined. Ellie’s tits are pebbled similarly to yours, tattoos littering her pretty skin, muscles so beautiful they could make your mouth fucking water.

You’d always seen Ellie for the beauty she possessed…but this? This was so much more different.

It made your head fucking spin.

You whined softly as you practically tug her into her by her shoulders, moaning softly at the feeling of her boobs squishing against yours as your mouth attacks her in a needy kiss.

“Want you…” you sigh softly against her as your hand slides down between the both of you, cupping her pussy. You feel Ellie suck in a sharp breath at the feeling of your warm fingers against her sopping wet core, and she gives you an eager nod before rolling over, her strong hands gripping your thighs and taking you with her as she forces you to straddle her.

Being on top of Ellie is just as good as being under her, almost better in all honesty. The lighting in her bedroom is dim, but you can just make out her features with the moonlight that spills in through her big windows, and the moody lights she has set up along her walls. You don’t even realize it because you’re too busy gawking at her, but she lifts her leg up a bit and easily slots you down so that your pussy is right against hers, the feeling making you moan softly.

“You’re so pretty Ellie…” you practically sigh out. It makes Ellie moan softly, and she swears the sound of you calling her pretty is enough to bring her back to life, reversing the effects of her undead state.

“Fuck…can’t say those things to me baby…you’re gonna…Jesus..ruin me” she struggles to get out as she grips your hips, forcing you to roll your hips so that your clit and her clit bumps against each other.

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel it. It’s so fucking wet, and soft, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Sure you’d done it with other girls before, but this just feels…it almost feels like….

“Like you were fucking made for me princess” Ellie grits out, her teeth caging her words in as she fucks you down onto her pussy, practically using you for both hers and your pleasure.

You’re too far gone to pick up on it, too indulged in the feeling of Ellie’s strong hands gripping your thighs so deliciously, sure to leave marks in their shape when you both wake up in the morning.

Your back is arching almost painfully, your hand gripping her thigh as you find the rhythm Ellie has set for you, finding the perfect spot and keeping it there as you drive both you and her to your orgasms.

“I’m…Ellie you feel so good…you’re gonna make me cum” you squeak out, eyebrows furrowed as you finally look down at the girl beneath you, only to find that she’s just as much of a mess as you are. Her hair is messy and her lips look so pouty and kissable. It’s hard to make out, but her fanged teeth are pressing into her lips, and you’re sure it’s the sexiest thing you’ve seen in your entire life.

She gives you an encouraging nod, one of her hands coming to your ass and kneading it harshly before giving it a firm spank, the sinful noise echoing off the walls of her pristine bedroom.

“I know baby…I know…come on, want you to cum with me…that’s it…that’s my good girl” her praises make your chest burn, and it leaves knots in your stomach. It only drives you further, your hips moving faster as they roll against Ellie’s, desperately chasing both hers and your orgasm.

“Ellie…Ellie I’m…I’m gonna-“ you cry out, back arching as you grip her thighs quickly, feeling your own shake as your orgasm begins washing over you.

Ellie catches it right before it happens, the girl quickly sitting up and wrapping her arms around your body, pressing your chest against hers as she pulls you down to kiss her passionately, her own orgasm washing over her like a fucking train.

Your bodies are so in tune, so in sync that your moans almost mix to create a symphony that can only be described as love, total and unconditional love as her arms keep you close, as if stopping you from running away from her, from the feeling she gives you. Her lips are working against yours as you breath hard, struggling to catch your breath in the sloppy kiss.

You’re a whining mess, your poor pussy far too sensitive to deal with the amount of pleasure that Ellie brought to you, all of it washing over you like an intense sea of euphoria, nearly drowning you as you held onto the girl with weak hands.

She knows you’re weak, because she’s pulling you down to rest your warm body against her cool sheets, all while keeping her cool body pressed against yours to bring you back down to earth with her.

“That’s it baby…I know….did so good for me…” she sighs softly as she leaves gentle kisses against your cheeks and eyes, watching as the aftermath of your orgasm slowly pulls you to the depths of sleep, all of it too much on your body.

“My beautiful girl…my girl…my girl…” she hums out, almost like a song as she watches you cling to her in your sleep, soft hums and huffs leaving your lips, all of which makes Ellie smile adoringly at you as she holds you while you sleep.

And even while you’re settling into one of the deepest sleeps you’ve ever experienced, you don’t miss the soft kisses against your lips and cheeks, all paired with the constant, non stop praises from Ellie.

You especially don’t miss the way she leans in settles against the pillow next to you, mumbling the softest, sweetest words to you as her hands caressing your naked body.

“I love you, pretty girl..”

[nvieditz]

Bad Decisions

Hey everyone, this is my first story so please go easy on me haha. I hope to write more stories in the future (and im already thinking of writing a part two of this story 😊) but I would love to hear from you what you think and if you have any requests I would love to hear them :).

warnings: Smut 18+ (minors dni) , public sex, strap use, fingering, cunnilingus, sub reader. (sorry if i missed anything) (4k+ word count)

“Babe hurry up in there!” Your friend calls from outside the bathroom you’re getting ready in. 

“Almost done!” You yell back to her.. You finish putting your lip liner on and topped it with a clear gloss. It’s the first time you’ve gone out in months and you’re ready to put yourself out there again. 

You wanted to go in with the mindset of just looking for something fun, nothing serious since your last long term relationship ended very very badly. 

The wound was still fresh so you brush it off before spraying your perfume on yourself and looking at yourself for a moment.

You looked good and you knew it. Dark smoky eye with a slick back bun and dark red lined lips and a little black dress accentuating all your curves. You walked out feeling confident.

“Ugh you look so good babe you’re gonna have all the girls on their knees for you” your friend Ana jokes.

You’re visiting her in Barcelona and are excited to hit one of the biggest lesbian clubs in the city. “I hope so, I need a good distraction.” You laugh. 

“Well we’re gonna get you one,” Ana says, “and I have a surprise for you to help you do that.” she winks before grabbing a black box that was sitting on her counter and hands it to you. 

You look at it in shock, “Really, you got me a strap-on?” you laugh. You take it out of the box and can’t help but blush at the sight of it. 

“Hey, you don’t want to use some random girl’s strap that she probably used on 10 girls before you. Wouldn’t want you to catch something.” she whispers jokingly. 

You reluctantly put it in your purse, stuffing it all the way at the bottom of tour purse because that’s embarrassing to be carrying around. 

She grabbed her coat and her keys, “Shall we?” she asks as she opens the door.

You follow her and head out of her apartment and head outside to where your uber was waiting for you. 

When you get to the club you see a lot of people in line but luckily you made sure you guys were on the list previously to get in fasted, since Ana’s ex girlfriend (and current friend) works at the club. 

You made it in no problem and the music was loud, led lights flashing while the whole place was dark yet it seemed like the most fun place you’ve ever been to. 

You look around trying to find some hot girls who could catch your eye but no luck on first glance. 

The place was two floors, the entrance was on the second one and there were couches and more secluded areas on the top floor, looking over the dance floor on the first floor and the bar down the stairs. You headed down to the main dance floor and bar area and claimed a small table. 

You set your bag down, “I can grab us some drinks,” you slightly yell to Ana as she sat down. She nods and you head over to the bar. 

There’s a small gap in between people at the bar and you squeeze in there, waiting for the bartender to get over to you. 

As you wait you feel eyes on you. You turn slightly to your left to see a (very much taller than you) blonde in a white shirt and leather jacket who was staring at you, hard. 

“You can take a picture it’ll last longer,” you tease as a way to let her know you caught her staring at you. She laughs slightly and it’s. so. hot. 

“A picture could never capture how gorgeous you look,” she winked back. Her thick Spanish accent rattling your core. You feel yourself blush at the compliment. “Are you here by yourself? A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be here by herself.” she smirks. 

You smile and look down shyly. Her piercing hazel eyes striking straight to your core. “I’m here with my friend actually. I came to get her a drink.” You gesture slightly to where Ana is sitting waiting on her phone for you to bring the drinks over. 

The girl looks over at Ana, then back to you. “You girls should join me and my friends. We have one of the couches upstairs booked. It’s a lot more… comfortable than it is down here.” she says confidently. 

Her boldness is refreshing. And it drove you mad. And the worst part is that you just met her but she seems to have you in full control. Not liking that feeling, you decide to bring matters back into you own hands, for a second at least. 

“Well… I think before I can say yes… I have to know your name. Can’t have you being some serial killer or something.” You joke. 

She laughs gently before looking straight into your eyes. “Alexia,” she extends her arm as if looking for a handshake. 

You can’t help but laugh at the idea of a handshake in this situation. You take her hand and shake it before responding with, “y/n”. you smile.

She pulls her hand away and her eyes rake down your body quickly before saying, “Well… we better get you those drinks.” she smiles. 

She orders a beer before you order your strawberry daiquiri and ana’s mezcal. You head over to the table where Ana is and hand her her drink. “Change of plans, we’re going to a couch upstairs with my new friend” you say before gesturing over to Alexia by the bar. 

Ana flashes you a knowing smile and picks up her things before following you over to Alexia. You follow behind her as you all head up the stairs and get to the slightly secluded room area where Alexia’s friends were. 

You walk in and see a group of five girls who were all so attractive it seemed like a joke. 

The one woman with shoulder length brown hair and tattoos that seemed to never end looks at Alexia and says “Andale Alexia, te vas por 5 minutes y regresas con dos chicas bien guapas” she laughs. 

You understand most of what she said and you let out a small chuckle both from embarrassment and also flattery. “Muchas gracias” you joke back at the woman. 

Alexia smiles at you and says, “These are my friends Mapi, Ingrid, Ona, Salma and Claudia.” she gestures to each of them as she says their name. 

You look over at Ana and you can tell she already has her sights set on the girl named Ona and let out a small laugh. “I’m Y/N and this is Ana,” you respond. 

Alexia looks at you, “Take a seat, join us,” she says as she sits down. When she sits down her shirt lifts up a little bit and a defined set of abs peeks through and your breath hitches. 

You sit down in the spot next to her and Ana has already say next to Ona. The music was loud enough that you could all have your private conversations and not hear each other so you took the chance to ask Alexia, “so, who are they? are you guys from a like hot lesbian modeling group or what?” you joke. 

Alexia laughs, “They’re my teammates, I’m a footballer,” 

You’re honestly not surprised, they all look very athletic, “Ah that’s fun, what do you do for work?” you ask. 

Alexia laughs shyly again, “No, I mean I’m a professional footballer , that’s my job.” she responds strongly, almost surprised. 

“Oh shit no way. That’s so cool. Would I know the club or team or whatever you guys play for?” You ask, genuinely interested. 

“Fc Barcelona?” she asks, “You may have heard of it.”

“Oh my god,” you respond now realizing the level of professional football she plays, and your mind accidentally wondering about how much money she makes. “I- wow. A professional athlete huh? Suddenly you’re like 10 times hotter than you already were,” you tease 

Her eyes darken when you say that and she looks in your eyes, “Well maybe we should act on that,” she teases back and she leans closer to you. 

You inch closer until your faces are impossibly close. She takes one of her hands and she gently takes the back of your neck and kisses you. Slow but deep. 

You let yourself get carried away by her kiss as it becomes more passionate, and searching. But you remember you’re around all of her friends and you break the kiss. “Come with me” you whisper. 

And suddenly she’s following you like she was your little puppy dog. You feel her friends watch you as you leave the space, your hand in hers leading her to the downstairs area. 

You find a small hallway next to the bar area and let go of her hand and turn to face her. You give her a teasing look and she acts on it immediately. Leading you towards the wall until your back was against it, she kisses you again, this one was more needy and fervent. You feel her large (not that you looked) hands grab onto your hips. One of her hands trailed down to find your thigh and pushed it up so your leg lifted off the ground and her hand started slowly wandering up and down your thigh. 

You let out a small moan into the kiss when you felt her gently squeeze your ass. She smiled against the kiss knowing she was driving you crazy. Your hips mindlessly started slowly grinding against her. You felt her hand slowly start to caress your inner thigh and your movements stop as your breath hitches.

The rough feeling of her hands on your soft skin was mesmerizing and you couldn’t care less that you were in a public space, you needed her to touch you. And no one could see you in this hallway. Her hand trailed further and further up your thigh. She moved her kiss to your neck leaving small kisses and sucks on your neck that elicited small moans from your mouth. All while her hand was inches away from where you needed it. 

Her kisses on your neck became more intense and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second. Her hand finally reached your underwear  and she paused her kisses to ask you softly. “Can I touch you? ” she whispered in your ear. 

All you could let out was a breathy “yes” when you suddenly felt her hand push your panties out of the way to reach your warmth. She goes back to kissing your neck while her fingers slowly tease you before pressing a finger on your clit. 

You let out a moan as soon as she touches your clit, her fingers moving in small circles around your bundle of nerves. “You’re so wet for me” she growls as she speeds up her movements. Your leg wraps around her back as you start to grind against her hand, chasing the orgasm you so desperately need.  

“Please” you softly say to her, needing more. 

“Please what baby?” she teases 

“I need you, your fingers,” you manage to say in between gasps. 

She doesn’t seem to be in the mood to tease you for very long, whether that’s for fear of getting caught or maybe she’s just as desperate as you to get you to your climax. Her thick fingers dip into your entrance and she starts pumping them. Slowly at first. She goes back to kissing you as she picks up speed. Swallowing your moans in your kisses. 

Her pace quickens and her fingers start to curl. Your hands grip her shoulders as an attempt to keep yourself upright as you feel your legs getting weak as she brings you closer and closer to your orgasm 

You break the kiss as your breathing picks up, “please, i’m so close, don’t stop.” you whisper to her. 

“fuck, you’re so pretty begging for me.” she responds as she picks up her pace even more and her fingers curl perfectly, hitting the spot you needed most. 

You feel your climax come over you as your mind goes black and you let out a loud moan, no longer remembering where you are. Your legs tremble as she keeps guiding you through your orgasm, her fingers not faltering from their pace until you come

down from your orgasm. Your head falls back against the wall as you take deep breaths. You feel her fingers exit you and she adjusts your underwear. 

You let your leg fall from around her back to help hold you up. You take deep breaths. Your mind gets pulled away from your high coming down when you see Alexia sucking her fingers that were just inside of you. She then brings you in for another kiss, softer this time. 

“You look so pretty when you cum for me.” she whispers to you before kissing you again. You moan against the kiss from the effect of her words on you and the fact that you can taste yourself on her lips. 

“Can we go somewhere more private?” I break the kiss and ask. 

She smiles before she says, “We can go back to my place,” her eyes darken again, “if you want?” 

“Ok” I whisper back. 

“Let me get us an uber,” she says. 

You take this opportunity to text Ana 

Is it ok if I leave with Alexia, will you get home safe? Let me know when you’re home. 

She responds almost instantly 

Don’t worry about it, I’m bringing someone home with me tonight 😉 Have fun 

You smile at the message 

“Ready to go?” You hear Alexia say. 

You follow her out of the club and she opens the door of the uber for you. You slide in and sit as you watch her get in the car on the other side. 

A few minutes into the car ride you feel Alexia’s hand on your thigh. Slowly moving up and down. Suddenly the car ride felt like the longest car ride of your life. 

When you finally get to her apartment building you rush to get out of the car and follow her inside. 

The sight of the building confirmed how much money you thought she made and you laughed to yourself gently. 

You finally reach her apartment and it’s not even when the door is fully closed yet that she pulls you in for another passionate, needy kiss. 

She then surprises you with her strength and lifts you off the ground, without ever breaking the kiss. Your legs wrap around her body as she carries you over to her room. She sets you down on her bed and she backs away from you and looks at you. 

“Fuck you’re so hot” she says while undressing you with her eyes. 

This was everything you could’ve hoped for tonight. A ridiculously fit athlete wanting to fuck the brains out of you is a perfect distraction from your recent moping over your failed relationship. You were so present in this moment. 

She steps closer to you and stands directly in front of you. She puts her arms at your side and kisses you. She pulls away to whisper, “Let me taste you.” 

“You don’t even have to ask,” you tease back. 

You didn’t even have to wait another second before she was on her knees on the floor in front of you, pushing your legs open. She pushes your dress up and you lift your hips to allow for her to push up to above your hips. 

Her fingers hook around the waistband of your thong and tugs them down. You’re on full display for her and you love this feeling. “Mm you’re so wet for me aren’t you.” 

Her words drive you crazy, “All for you” you breathe out. 

She slowly starts pressing kisses to your inner thigh, teasing you. Your breath starts to pick up as she moves closer and closer to your center. But she draws this out. Switching to the other leg and continues just kissing and sucking on your soft skin. 

“Fuck” you breathe out, “Please, I need you.” 

She hums against your skin “How badly do you need me?” 

With those words she licks up your slit quickly just to tease you. You gasp as she does that. “Use your words baby,” she says looking at you. 

You think about it for a second before saying, “I need you to make me cum like I never have before.” 

After you say that her eyes darken again. Seems like she likes a challenge. And as soon as that happens she brings her mouth to your core. Slowly starting to lick through your folds just to taste you. Your head falls back and you rely on your arms to keep you upright. 

Her tongue starts making small circles around your clit and oh my god this girl eats pussy like it’s her job.  You’ve never felt so worked up so quickly. She sucks and kisses your clit while her tongue continues teasing it and the noises that’s making are quite pornographic but you couldn’t care less. Your moans become a string of curse words mixed with her name. 

She picks up speed around your bundle of nerves and introduces a finger to your entrance, slowly pumping in and out. You moan loudly as she does this and your hand goes to grab her hair, pushing her deeper to where you need her. The movement by her tongue does not slow down and she introduces a second finger, pumping faster and faster. 

You feel yourself tighten around your fingers as you know you’re getting close. 

“Fuck Alexia! That feels so good.” 

Your words encourage her to pick up her pace. Her tongue puts more pressure and her fingers curl in. 

“Fuck I- I’m so close” you moan out followed by a string of moans. 

Her impressive pace continues but her mouth breaks away quickly to whisper “Cum for me baby.”

The words and her mouth back on your clit send you over the edge. Your arms give out and your back hits the mattress as your orgasm hits you. You can’t even tell how loud you’re moaning through your orgasm as she continues her movements while you cum all over her fingers. Your legs tremble against her as you come down from that high. 

You feel her fingers leave your entrance and her mouth stops once you’ve completely come down. She climbs on the bed on top of you and kisses you. Her lips taste like you and her tongue swipes your lips looking for entry and you can’t get enough of the mix of the taste of her lips with the taste of your juices. 

“Fuck.” you breathe out. “What are we still doing wearing all these clothes.” you joke as you catch your breath. 

She laughs while she pushes herself off of the bed. “I can help you with that,” she says before extending a hand to you to help you get up.

You take her hand and she helps pull you up. She turns you around so you’re facing away from her. She starts to unzip your dress, slowly. Your body tingles at the sensation and the thought of her seeing all of you. Once the dress is unzipped she pushes the straps off of your shoulders so it falls to the floor underneath you joining your panties. 

She then quickly unclasps your bra and you toss it on the floor as well. You then turn to look at her and her eyes trail down your body, the same darkened look in her eyes. 

You interrupt her staring at you, “Well it’s unfair that I’m completely naked and all of your clothes are still on.” You say as you tease the bottom of her shirt. 

She smiles at you before quickly taking her shirt off, revealing that she was not wearing a bra which made your breath hitch. 

Holy six pack 

This girl was absolutely shredded and your mind thought of how good it would feel to grind on those abs. Your mind was pulled away tho when she unzipped her jeans and stepped out of them. 

Suddenly you remember the little “gift” that Ana gave you earlier tonight and Alexia could tell you had something in mind. “What is it?” 

“I have an idea,” you step over to where you mindlessly threw your purse and grabbed the strap. 

Alexia looked very surprised but then her gaze turned completely dark with desire. She finally took off her own underwear and stepped over to you.

Your eyes wandered down her body and everything about her blew your mind. 

How could someone be built like this. 

She grabs the strap from you, “Well, what could we possibly do with this?” she teases before inching closer to you. 

You decided to be straightforward because you were too turned on to let her drag this out. “I want you to fuck me with it. Roughly,” you state as if it’s the most normal sentence you’ve ever said. 

Suddenly her lips crash into yours. This one more desperate than the others. Then she pulls away. She steps back to start expertly putting on the harness and you stand against the wall watching her expertly do so, making you wetter by the second. 

You walk over back to the bed and sit on the edge. She walks over to you, “Turn around,” she demands. You love where this is going so you follow her orders. 

Now you’re on your hands and knees on the bed as she places herself behind you. You feel her grab your hips and pull you close to her. You suddenly feel her fingers move through your folds, gathering your slick and putting it on the strap to get it ready. 

You look to the side of the room and realize there’s a mirror there so you can see everything she’s doing. 

This is gonna be fun.

After what felt like forever, you feel the tip of the strap lined up with your entrance. You inhale a sharp breath as you feel it start to slowly enter. 

She slowly pushes deeper into you, making sure not to go too fast and hurt you. Her hands guide your hips as she completely fills you. 

You feel so full and your mind goes cloudy. Slowly she pulls out of you but not all the way, and pushes back in. The slow pace drives you mad. 

“You look so pretty taking it all for me,” she growls. 

“Please, keep going,” you gasp out as you can’t take the tantalizingly slow pace. 

With that her speed picks up. You begin to moan louder the faster she moves. Your hand grips the sheets. 

“Oh fuck,” you scream out as she starts to pull your hips towards her so she can get even deeper inside of you. 

You look over to the mirror and the sight you see is incredibly pornographic and incredibly hot. The sight of her abs flexing as she pumps into you pushes you even closer to the edge. 

“Así te gusta verdad?” she growls out. 

The sound her her speaking Spanish makes your thoughts cloudy. “Si,” you moan out. 

Her speed somehow becomes even faster and your arms give out. Your head now on the mattress and her hands keep your hips up and her pace never falters. 

“Fuck, Alexia don’t stop” you practically scream out. Your nails now digging deeper into the mattress.

The new angle hits even deeper into you and now you don’t know how loud you’re screaming. 

One of her hands move from your hips to your back. You can tell she’s started to chase her orgasm as well and the thought of that pushed you closer and closer. 

“I’m so close, please don’t stop,” you moan out as you feel yourself tighten around the strap. She picks up her pace even more and your orgasm takes over. Your eyes roll back and your mind goes blank as you scream out in pleasure. Her movements don’t falter as you come down from your orgasm because she is close to her own orgasm too. She keeps her incredible pace and you’re feeling overstimulated but you want her to cum so you let her keep going. 

Her moans are a sound you think you want to never stop hearing. Finally she reaches her climax and her pace slows down. She slowly pulls out of you and your hips fall down to the bed. You roll over to lay flat on your back and you close your eyes to relax yourself. 

You didn’t hear or feel Alexia get on the bed next to you but you feel her kiss your shoulder and you smile, still breathing heavy. 

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she whispers against your skin. 

The question brings back exactly why you wanted a distraction. You needed to get your mind off of your ex and the last thing you needed is to start something new. No matter how tempting it sounded. 

You sat up quickly. “No I should go home,” you got up and started gathering up your clothes. You hold your clothes in front of you naked body, suddenly feeling exposed. 

“Can I use your restroom first?” you ask turning around to see the disappointed look on her face. 

“Yes, of course,” she points to the door on your right. You quickly use the restroom and put your clothes back on. You grab your phone and get an uber which is conveniently only 5 minutes away. 

You step out of the bathroom and Alexia has thrown on a big t shirt and is sitting on the bed with her phone in her hand. 

Fuck she looks so pretty like that.

You push those thoughts away because you need to leave. 

“Thanks um, this was really good,” you smile. 

She still seems disappointed that you’re leaving so abruptly but you don’t want to get into what’s making you leave like this. “Yeah it was,” she says sincerely.” “Um, get home safe.” 

“Thanks,” you grin before stepping out of her room and into the living room and kitchen area. You reach the front door and step out of the door. 

Well that definitely was a good distraction 

Your heart feels heavy as you walk away. 

extra: thank you for reading! let me know if you want a part 2 (i’ll probably write it anyway haha i have some fun ideas for this) and let me know if you have any suggestions for me :))

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

first of all, this is all legit, and not bait, though i have a feeling it may come off that way, this did happen to me. please don't publish if tumblr sends it off anon.

i'm a lesbian with gender dysphoria, and while i haven't had much sexual experience, i would consider myself a stone top. in the last year and a half i began reading "terf"/radical feminist writings and reading "terf" tumblr blogs fairly actively, largely out of frustration with misogyny i was experiencing IRL. though i never engaged with the community i did stop identifying as genderfluid and started understanding my dysphoria as stemming from the trauma of being bullied by other girls for having a high-androgen DSD, and using different pronouns/transition thoughts as unhealthy coping mechanisms. i'm happy with this, but i also don't know if i'm attracted to women anymore.

i've always been attracted to women in a way that's stereotypically guy-like; i find feminine women very attractive and not so much fellow(?) butches, want to penetrate with a strap on, don't like bush much, cursory interest in BDSM/daddy kink. i read/watched het erotica and porn sometimes and identified with the man. what i read problematized pretty much every aspect of that- femininity as a cage, penetration as violence/straps as disidentification w the female body, infantilization of women, bdsm as abuse etc. also, desisting making me more conscious of dysphoria/knowledge of how extensive sexual dimorphism is putting me off both women with larger breasts and hips AND smaller breasts and hips/unrealistically masculine body types as well. so a lot of what turned me on before isn't arousing anymore, or i feel guilty about it, and i haven't been able to find butch4butch stuff which is much healthier very interesting.

i consider my sexuality healthier now on a political level but my ability to get aroused/jerk off has plummeted (used to be i could jork it sunrise to sunset) and thinking about being in a relationship w another woman makes me feel uneasy and weird, especially since a lot of what i read emphasized reciprocative cunnilingus/tribbing (which i don't like) as the healthiest sex options. i also think about both my dysphoria and my sexuality issues 100x more than i did before, even though i was promised the opposite (freedom from dysphoria and feeling happier as a lesbian), and it's stressing me out day-to-day. i'm aware based on your general ethos that you probably think i'm a terrible person right now, but i figured it'd be useful to seek the opinion of someone who radically disagrees with what i've read on what i could/should do next, since i admittedly miss being at peace with my sexuality.

thanks for reading.

hi there anon,

it's a bummer that you'd think I would assume you're a terrible person based on everything you've told me here. I generally try not to consider people terrible unless they're actively being shitheads or hurting other people, which doesn't sound at all like you're describing. from what you've told me, you've been up to your eyes in some information that's made you feel deeply uncomfortable in your sexuality and now you're seeking out a new perspective to help you make sense of that hurt. that describes most of the people who send me questions!

it's so striking to me that much of what you're describing is very reminiscent of what's recounted in The Persistent Desire, an anthology of writings on butch/femme identities edited by femme historian and archivist Joan Nestle that was released in 1992. in various essays and interviews countless butches and femmes recount their discomfort with the feminist turn against butch and femme identities that too place in the 70s, when both roles were declared problematic recreations of heterosexuality and summarily decried as politically "incorrect" for lesbians. it's shocking to me how much what you've described echoes these accounts experienced by lesbians half a century ago - the disowning of women who are "excessively" feminine or masculine, the demonizing of penetrative sex, general insistence that there are "correct" sex acts that every lesbian is supposed to enjoy, and the deep discomfort and insecurity that this causes among people who don't fit into the very rigid standards of proper lesbian identity set forth.

here's a link to a PDF, if that's interesting to you at all. it's very long, so feel free not to read it straight through; it's a great project to skim and an incredible way to get in touch with the lesbians who came before us. their accounts of their lives are so wildly different from the boundaries of "good" queer representation that feel so universal today; in discussing their own lives many of these women speak very bluntly about their experiences with abuse, drugs, sex work, and violence. it's a great glimpse into the lives and history of a lot of very ordinary lesbians just living their lives, and I'm very grateful it's been preserved.

now, as for what you're actually gonna do: hey. listen. first of all, if you haven't given up reading this stuff yet, you've gotta. you simply cannot keep internalizing stuff that makes you overanalyze your own sexuality so hard that you feel uncomfortable about being attracted to women. that's not "healthy," that's conversion therapy lite. there are other places to talk about feminism without being made to feel ashamed of yourself.

listen: there's nothing unhealthy about anything that you described about yourself. being a stone butch, being attracted to certain looks and aesthetics, watching porn, wanting to use a strap and roleplay during sex and not being interested in other sexual activities - all of those thing are completely normal and, yes, healthy. certainly healthier than feeling the need to repress your sexuality so hard that thinking about being with a woman doesn't feel right!

should we run through that list?

femininity as cage - sure, okay, femininity isn't for everyone, and there are parts of it that suck. that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with women who like to wear dresses or put on makeup or shave or whatever, or anyone who's attracted to those women. genuinely I cannot think of anything less interesting or important to feminist organizing than getting hung up about what people want to wear. it's clothes, dude. it's fucking clothes. pick a more important hill to die on, I implore you.

penetration is not the same thing as violence. there's just nothing to debate about that one; it's patently absurd to pretend that every act of penetrative sex is rape and you'd have to fundamentally misunderstand how consent works to believe that.

straps are not about "disidentification with the female body," they're about augmenting a sexual experience. a strap-on is not more problematic than a vibrator or a massage oils or a pillow used to prop up a body part. unless those are also bad? are those bad? are pillows disidentifying from the female body also? I'm not up to date on this.

straight up I don't even know which part of your whole deal the infantilization of women is supposed to address, but a thing that I've always found interesting about a lot of radical feminists who are deeply distrustful of sex is the way that many of them seem to assume that women can't be trusted to understand their own sexual desires and need to be taught what's appropriate. seems kind of condescending to me, personally.

BDSM isn't the same thing as abuse. abuse, crucially, is not a situation that people can safe word out of or negotiate the constraints of. it's kind of like how, you know, I purposefully pay people to shove needles in my skin when I want a tattoo, but I wouldn't be stoked about it if somebody just ran up to me in public and started stabbing me without any warning or conversation. context is crucial. there can certainly be abusive people within BDSM spaces, but that's true of people of literally every sexual proclivity on earth, and certainly not an innate feature of BDSM. it's just make believe, dude. it's dress up. it's sex LARPing.

also, psst, hey. that thing about being attracted to women in a "guy-like" way? no such thing. men are humans, dude; they experience attraction in as many different ways as anyone else. for every dude interested in the same stuff as you there are men yearning for hairy women, muscular women, masculine women, women who will dominate them, women who would rather be eaten out then penetrated, and so on. to say nothing of the men who aren't into women at all! and, as is obvious from your own experience, men don't have a monopoly on those kinds of feelings, anyway! there are no men or women feelings, dude; it's all just people having feelings and fighting for their lives trying to figure out what they're into to.

I want to particularly talk about that last bit, where you mentioned not enjoying or wanting to engage in cunnilingus or tribbing. that's totally fine! people like different shit in all kinds of combinations - I'm personally a huge fan of getting eaten out and scratched up or bitten, but I don't do penetration and I've genuinely never met anyone who actually liked tribbing - and there are absolutely people out there who will, to paraphrase the poet Tinashe, perfectly match your freak.

(have you heard about the perpetual, critical shortage of tops that the queer community faces? you'd be a godsend, just saying.)

also, actually, hey I wanted to circle back to another thing as well: it's deeply alarming to me that whatever radfem stuff you've been reading has you feeling "put off" of women with wide hips and large breasts as well as women with small breasts and hips. what is wrong with either of those? both of those are just ways that women naturally look. women just look a wide variety of ways, and it's sad that that's upsetting you now. just thinking about this, conceptually, is giving me hives.

having been up to your eyes in all of this, I can definitely understand why you'd feel the urge to overanalyze you own gender and sexuality to the point of completely talking yourself out of identifying with anything that feels good for you. as I said, that's actually not healthy in any way, and as a sex educator I can't say that I think anyone genuinely invested in your well-being would want that for you.

entirely aside from their feelings on trans people, which I obviously disagree with pretty vehemently, one of the things about radfems that's most endlessly vexing to me is the insistence that such an extremely narrow range of sexual behaviors are appropriate. seems like a miserable way to live, and I sincerely hope you can detangle yourself from the morass of shame it's landed you in. you deserve better.

[morphids]

false pretenses, hange zoë

so im absolutely obsessed with this thank you for putting this idea in my head😰😵‍💫wish i could tag u anon </3

original request here [X]

pairing: college au - engineering student!hange x student!female reader - they/them pronouns for hange, afab anatomy for both

summary: the best way to get what you want is to do it yourself right?

warnings: listen this is real slutty ok, explicit sexual content 18+ minors dni - loser lesbian!hange (hange has that autistic nerd rizz), its always the quiet ones, r thinks she’s slick af, poc friendly- no physical descriptions of reader, kinda-bratty/switch!reader (r gets v subby) top-leaning!Hange (im a top i swear), strap, dirty talk, nicknames, munch activities, fingering, finger sucking, cunnilingus, praise, brief asphyxiation, i cant think of anymore

wc: 4.9k (not proofread)

an: excuse the shitty engineering attempts im not a stem girl!! hope y’all enjoy <3

—

You watched Hange from across the library, gazing over their features as they frowned. Brow creased as they solved equations that your professor had so kindly left everyone to complete after your seminar. Sometimes you’d catch their teeth nip at their bottom lip, in pensive thought.

Hange wasn't around many people, not that you saw anyway, usually kept to themselves or with the same two friends you'd seen them with. Their head often deep into a book or back hunching over a desk working some form of assignment, headphones placed over their hair.

Looking over their face, you studied Hange's strong jaw, the way their slender hand held up the weight of their head as the other scribbled down notes into their notebook. The sluttiest black tank top layered underneath an unbuttoned white dress shirt, draping over baggy brown straight-leg pants. Hair up with so many layers resting against their cheeks, framing their lovely face as multiple strands plumed out from within the hair tie. Their amber eyes lay under small, thin, glasses atop their nose. God, that nose. Perfect to sit on. Perfect to ride to holy heaven.

If it wasn’t clear, you'd had a bit of an eye on Hange for the last semester, they had transferred from a different university a while back. Upon seeing them for the first time, you wanted to speak to them. Their slightly introverted nature had made you keep your distance, though, but it was getting harder to fight the urge to go talk to them. I mean, how weird would that be? Hi, I know you don't know me but I've been obsessed with you since you transferred here? Yeah right.

No, you had to be more creative than that.

You needed a valid reason to speak to Hange so that you didn’t come across as the world’s biggest creep. Luckily for you, Hange was by far the smartest person on campus. Grades always incredibly well above average, scoring top marks in every assignment they’d submitted. So much so, that the professor had pretty much already taken them in under his wing. Due to their helpful nature and extensive knowledge in a fair range of fields, your professor was preparing Hange to be his TA after graduation. Oftentimes, passing Hange over to tutor students in his classes that lacked the grades that were expected of them at this stage in the course.

And even more luckily for you, you seemed to be really struggling with the new module. Or at least that’s what your alibi was. Who needed to know that your grades had actually been consistent passes? You were pretty strong at your theory, but you had only slightly slacked off in your classes during your professors teachings of mathematical methods and linear equations. It couldn’t hurt to get a bit of extra assistance to fill in the missing gaps.

Deciding to bite the bullet, you walked up to Hange, they barely noticed a presence beside, music blaring through the headphones, until your shoes came into their peripheral vision, spotting the black boots right beside the chair.

Their gaze followed up your bare legs, eyes slightly widened as they realised you were indeed about to induce a conversation with them and not just wandering past to get to an actual destination. They removed one cup of their headphones off their ear, holding it up with their fingers so they could listen to you. You noticed the multiple bands resting above their knuckles, bulky metallic rings varied with different patterns and weldings.

“Oh, um— hi?” Hange spoke, slightly confused, they had been deeply distracted into their equations, not anticipating someone coming to speak to them. Definitely not you, of all people.

“Hey, um— sorry to ruin your flow, but I was wondering if you could,” hesitance struck you, feeling your carefully planned script fall apart under Hange’s gaze, eyes still wide and nodding their head as a prompt for you to finish, removing the headphones fully to rest the band on the back of their neck. Why are they so hot, you thought, fumbling over yourself. “If you could tutor me with this module, you’re the smartest person in this place according to Mr. Fritz,” You joked, softening your words with a meek giggle. An attempt to make not make it seem like a big deal even though you could feel your heartbeat thump in your ears and throat.

“You can totally say no, of course,” you quickly added, after realising you didn’t actually offer them an out, not wanting to pressure Hange into having more on their plate than there already was.

Hange’s eyebrows pulled together, lips split as a wash of suspicious perplexity strained their features, only for a second before returning to normal. Back to their friendly warmth with an amiable smile stretched on their lips.

“Sure, I’d love to help,” Their eyes held yours, you to let out a faint breath of relief. “I’ve got a few things to do on campus for a while, but, I can meet you after?”

“That’d be great, thank you!” You offered to exchange phone numbers for ‘easier communication’ to plan around Hange’s schedule, before duly proposing that they come over to your dorm, as the library closed after five o’clock, and your roommates were gone for a week-long field trip.

“I’ll let you know when I’m on the way, then,” They smiled, an amused smirk etching itself on their lips before they could help it.

“That’s perfect, I appreciate it,” You beamed, “I’ll, um, leave you to your equations,” You stepped away, turning around to make your exit from the library. Hange didn’t miss the way your eyes fell onto their lips for just, perhaps, a little bit too long than was deemed socially conventional, or the way you seemed to grow flustered as they stimmed with their fingers. Hange’s gaze followed you as you walked on, trailing down to your exposed legs underneath a short skirt that hung over thick, sinuous thighs. Hange looked back down at their notebook, as they chuckled, shaking their head with endearment at your crafty deceit.

Hange certainly isn’t stupid, due to their proximity working with the professor, they were painfully aware of the more… problematic students in Mr. Fritz’ class. You were never one of them. In fact, he had even used some of your past assignments as example guidelines for the newer students. Needing help with the easiest part of the module? No way were they believing that.

—

A knock at your door, and you smoothened the fabric of your clothes, hoping to reduce any lingering creases or maybe even just to calm your nerves. You had tidied up, making your bedroom look more presentable and less like a cove of disordered chaos.

Opening the door, there stood Hange, handsome and ravishing in all their tall glory. A hand reached up to stabilise the one strap of their backpack that hung on their shoulder, the other strap dangling behind. You tried to stop, you really did, but you trailed over their figure, lured into their nonchalant stance that just exuded casual confidence as they looked back at you, an eyebrow cocked up.

Breaking contact, you welcomed them in, Hange dropped their backpack onto the floor to relieve the weight of all the heavy textbooks from their shoulders. Hand raising back up to remove the headphones from their neck, placing them atop their bag, hooked on the top handle.

You sat at your couch, leaving enough space for Hange to comfortably place themselves on. Trying to be discreet, you watched as they took off their dress shirt, hanging it on the arm of the couch, you presumed Hange was using the layer against the slightly cooler breeze outside— you couldn’t lie, you were kinda glad to see it off. Hange’s bicep was well sculpted against their black tank top as it melted into toned forearms. Tanned and strong. There was a brown cord bracelet dangling from their wrist as they rested it on their propped up knee. God, I’m no better than a man, you thought.

“So, what’d you need help with?” Hange pushed up their glasses with their ringed index finger, you wondered if that was something they often did subconsciously before beginning a task.

“Linear algebra and probability theory,”

“Hmm,” Hange nodded, a short tug at the corner of their lips, leaning their elbows on the top of their thighs, “Yeah, that stuff is pretty hard, but,”

“What did you score on the last exam?” Hange turned their head your way, amber eyes meeting yours, with a devious look.

You froze, shit. It felt like a trick question, surely Hange didn’t know the score you totalled? Surely, Hange didn’t know that you were just seven marks from a full score? It almost felt as if they were luring you into a trap; to see if you’d double down with the lie and continue with this facade or if you’d crack and admit defeat. Lose-lose either way, you’d end up embarrassed or having to make yourself look incredibly foolish.

Voice breaking in your throat, you held eye contact. Whereas Hange’s was steady and sharp, yours felt like you were just exposing yourself further the longer you remained silent.

“I-I don’t remember,” A neutral answer, you decided, totally not because you had been rendered nonverbal, clearing your throat and seeing the way Hange’s lips stretched fully into a knowing smirk.

“Hmm, you don’t remember,” They were definitely mocking you now, voice low, humming and melodic as you felt the thunder in your chest beat. You looked down at your thighs, fingers fiddling with a loose hem on your skirt.

“Getting the impression I wasn’t invited over for some homework,” They chuckled, leaning back against the support of the couch, arm stretching over the top.

One sentence and it was out in the open, the illusion you thought was so deceiving completely shattered as your true intentions came to light. Yup, embarrassing, just as you thought.

“So, why don’t you tell me the actual reason you invited me over,” If the last sentence was a stab to your confidence, this one was an extra twist in the wound. Hange was smirking at you, the mirthful look in their eyes showing you that they were relishing in your embarrassment and flustered face.

You swallowed a deep breath, feeling your skin ignite both with anticipation and nerves so lethal you almost wanted to bury yourself underneath the seat, never to be seen again.

“I, uh—“ you mumbled, the script had truly crumbled, you had no plan B apart from just spewing out the truth. You’d die before you had to do that.

“You seem a bit flustered,” Hange hummed, leaning on the back of the couch, as their thighs came to spread, “Why’s that, hm?”

The unlevelled confidence that radiated from them just seemed to further your own unease. It wasn’t often you felt that way, usually being the one to initiate flirtations with others. Yet, everything about Hange just seemed to drag you into a state of bashfulness, totally out of character as you failed to make eye contact.

“Will you look at me, love?”

You ceded, eyes meeting, as you let out a sigh. Hange placed a testing hand upon your bare knee, tentative runs of their thumb over the skin. Soft, Hange thought. The feeling eliciting shivers down your spine, warm waves down to your core, reducing you to a state of feeling unreasonably touch-starved. Hange gazed down your thighs, deliciously covered by the fabric of your skirt, moistening the edge of their upper lip with the tip of their tongue, before flickering their eyes back to you.

“What is it you really want?”

Fuck. A short gasp escaped your throat as their hand trailed up, fingers reaching underneath the hem of the short skirt. Hange was toying with you, no doubt about it.

“I… I wanted to speak to you,”

Humming, their hand moved further, “Why?”

“I found you…” you paused when their fingertips skimmed over your panties, your thighs twitched. “C-captivating, needed a reason to speak to you,”

Hange chuckled, as they leaned forward to reach the bottom of your ear, your breath hitching as their lips ghosted over the skin.

“You could’ve just asked, pretty,” Hange’s voice whispered against your ear, as you closed your eyes. You were so down bad.

“Think I haven’t noticed you, huh?” One light kiss at your skin, “Think I haven’t seen the way you stare at me?” Another kiss, ever so gentle that you almost melted into them, biting back a needy groan. Hange’s hand squeezed at your thigh, fingers towards your centre, just barely grazing over the fabric.

“I mean—god, darling, if you wanted me to fuck you that badly all you needed to do was ask nicely,” Hange’s teeth nipped at your lobe, drawing out the skin with it.

“So, ask me nicely,”

Another squeeze at your inner thigh, and no longer could you withhold the groan that you’d been holding back. You were fighting so many demons right now, hesitant to verbalise your inner desires. Hange remained near your ear, licking at the soft skin. Fuck it.

“I want you so fucking bad,” Your voice came out so much whinier than you expected, used to hearing that tone from others, but never from yourself.

“Aren’t you gonna say please?” They chuckled, dragging it out, teasing. Hange eyed the pout at your lips, the slight frown in your brows—could tell you were used to getting what you wanted easily, to not submitting. They planned to fix that.

“Fucks sake—please, Hange,” You pressed your thighs together, trapping Hange’s hand as they gripped you, as a prompt for them to do something, anything.

“Better.”

With their other hand, the one not currently trapped in between your legs, Hange grabbed at your hip. Kneading over your hip bone, where the dainty zip of your skirt dangled. The sensation caused your thighs to loosen autonomously, as Hange opportunely released their hand an inch. Slipping underneath the hem of your damp panties, fingers teasing at your slit, collecting your slick.

“You this messy just for me?” Their sinful, warm words made you shiver, goosebumps down your arms as they hit your ear. You wriggled, skirt rolled up to your hips, exposing your panties. Messy, indeed. You were growing impatient as you attempted to roll your hips into their hand, craving contact. Hange’s fingers recoiled, pushing from your slit pulling the fabric with as they tutted. Tightening their other hand on your hip once more, stilling your movements.

“C’mon, surely you’ve figured out how this works by now,” Hange’s words sounded so sweet, if it wasn’t for the absolute torture lurking underneath. Eager to tease and play with you for as long as it would take for you to actually listen and cede. With a brattish groan and a sigh, you nodded.

“Words, darling, use them.”

“Y-yes, shit—all for you, Hange.” Voice breathy, avidly impatient. Your core leaked more slick when it clenched, totally ruining your panties as it clung to your folds. The sight absolutely delectable. “I need you so bad—can’t take it,”

There it was. Finally.

“Was that so hard?” Hange hummed, a satisfied smirk creeping over their lips as they teased a finger down your slit, only slightly breaking through your entrance. Pressing your lips against theirs as you whimpered into the kiss, biting at Hange’s plump bottom lip.

“Now then, be a good girl and stay put.”

Hange pressed their finger fully into you, soon adding another two once they saw how keenly you were taking them already, walls wet and ready. Your head fell into Hange’s neck, meek moans spilling from your mouth as their slender fingers hit the back of your squishy walls.

Without removing themselves from your warm heat, Hange cased a hand at your ass, pulling you on top of their lap. Using their clothed thigh to rut their fingers up even further, other hand forcing your hips into gyration against them. The friction from their jeans hit against your sensitive clit and with their fingers inside you, you were a hot mess already. Needy and desperate from their heartless teasing.

“Ah—that’s…fucking good,” You hissed, as Hange lapped their tongue down your neck, before sucking, branding you with many dark marks leading down to your chest.

Catching the hem of your shirt, you threw your arms up to discard it, revealing your breasts to the room’s cool air, heaving up and down with heavy breaths. Hange almost moaned at the sight of you, shirtless with a short skirt pooled around your hips, draping over their knees. Of course you weren’t wearing a bra, they thought. As Hange thrust their fingers into you, their mouth wrapped over your nipples, flicking over them with their tongue. Nipping lightly over the peaks. You arched your back into them, feeling yourself grow closer, the tension in your abdomen building as you bit your lip.

Your hips lost their rhythm, aimlessly chasing the feeling of Hange’s fingers deep within you. Languid gasps and breathless moans escaping your lips. So, so close to your peak until the sensation was suddenly stripped away, leaving you totally empty. Hange removing their fingers, you could hear your own slick cry as they did, your walls tensing.

“Wha-“ You were a bit dazed, a truthfully a little annoyed, you had been so close.

“You’ve not earned it yet,” Hange laughed, clearly relishing in your frustration. They liked this, liked making you destitute, left wanting. Hange had every intention of fixing that sugared insolence they could see within you. Had every intention of tearing it inside out.

Hange reached down to their leather belt, maintaining eye contact as they unclasped the metal peg, lifting you up off their knees slightly to pull their jeans down, before removing their tank top. Their chest rose up and down, bound beneath a black binder. You could see their own centre soaking through their underwear. You ogled their figure, groaning as your sinful thoughts worsened. The kind of imagination that would surely commit you to purgatory indefinitely.

Hange pecked your charming pout away, before bringing their soaked fingers up in front of your mouth. Spreading your lips open with their thumb, shoving it inside so you could taste your own slick on it. Their other fingers followed suit.

“Clean up your mess,”

Hange watched you, your lips bruised and plump as they split to allow entrance for their index and middle finger. Sucking your juices off them as you moaned, gagging as they hit the back of your throat. Brows pinched and eyes brimmed with tears from the hot burn. Hange’s thumb pressed against your bottom teeth, pulling your jaw open, a line of drool slipping out from the corner of your open mouth. Hange would kill just about anyone for you, they thought. Irreversibly addicted to you, your needy eyes and the way you fell to follow their orders.

“So beautiful,”

Hange hung over you. Looking into your glassy eyes, with the hold against your jaw, pinky finger at your chin, they held your mouth open, spitting on your tongue.

“Swallow.”

You did. Quite happily as you groaned, muffled as your mouth was stuffed. Feeling yourself grind against Hange’s bare thigh, your core clenching around nothing as you yearned for the feeling of their fingers back inside you. Your inner thighs completely soaked, spreading it all over Hange’s bare legs.

“Such a good girl—so obedient for me,” They hummed, relieving their attack on your mouth, taking their fingers out and grasping the back of your neck, “Wonder if anyone else has ever slut you out like this, hm?”

You shut your eyes, leaning into their touch as you whined out a passive ‘No’, shaking your head to Hange’s question, not fully trusting the strength of your own voice. Fuck, you were totally gone, lost in salacity and paralysed by your own thirst. Almost brain-dead as your desire thumped in your ears, and throbbed at your core. About to explode from your own ardour as it’d eagerly been building up. Hange was divinely addictive, a substance you should never have risked trying. You could never possibly go back now, too ruined to ever possibly go to anyone else. Totally and utterly hooked on Hange.

“Aw, look how docile you are now, pretty.”

Hange kissed at your neck, coming back up to meet your lips again as you mewled against them.

“H-Hange— please, need more,” You squirmed against their lap, “Can’t take it, need to cum so badly,” You were finally begging, hesitation leaving you to fend for yourself as Hange had you right where they wanted.

“Yeah? How do you want it, baby?”

In between strained breaths, you pointed to your drawers. Strategically placed next to the couch, as Hange reached over. Chuckling once they saw your strap in its resting place.

“This what you want?”

Nodding, you rutted against Hange’s thigh, forcing some friction to rub against your clit.

“Please, fuck,” You sobbed, visions of Hange stuffing you with your strap forcing you to squeeze your thighs against Hange’s lap.

“Since you asked so nicely,”

Hange gently nudged you off their lap, to allow them to slide the harness over their thighs. You sat beside them, legs folded underneath yourself. Hand placed delicately on the side of their head, pressing sweet kisses down the skin of their neck as they adjusted the harness to fit around the circumference of their thighs. Hange shivered under your lips, eyes shutting as they indulged in the sensation for a moment, cursing as you began to lick under their lobe. You were delightful.

Hange’s hand danced along your thigh, fingers streaming past your slit as they groaned at how unbelievably wet you were.

“You’re fucking sublime,” They groaned, dragging you over their lap, hands ripping both the skirt and your ruined panties off your legs. Hange laid their back on the couch, folding your bare thighs over their jaw. You bit your lip in keen anticipation, it was almost as if you had manifested this.

“Fuck—Hange, I’ve dreamt about this for so fucking long,” Your legs twitched above Hange’s face, as a radiant smirk shone on their lips.

“Yeah? Thought about this?” Their hands clung around the plush skin of your ass, fingers squeezing tightly. They pulled you on to a steady stream along their face, teased a lick up your folds before your slit was pressed down against their flat tongue, lapping up your slick as their nose rubbed over your clit.

“F-fuck, so much—was just like this,” You gasped as you rode Hange’s face, watching dumbly as their face contorted with gluttonous solace. Eyebrows creasing as they focused on eating you out. You crumbled, finally feeling some release after being teased for what felt like many unbearable hours. Truly, it was better than you could have imagined, Hange’s fly-aways catching on their cheeks and the sides of their face as they grew dampened, your slick slapping their cheeks and fogging up their glasses from splatters and wet heat.

Resting your hand on their knees for stability, your fingers acted on their own as you came to reach underneath the strap that was dangled in the air, waiting to be used. Your fingers came to meet Hange’s folds, sliding easily past their sensitive labia, nearly as wet as your own, aching. Having been unbearably turned on since they saw your body’s visceral responses to them.

“That’s—so fucking hot, shit,” You whimpered, lost in the feeling of Hange’s insistent tongue slowly flicking deep against you and the way their centre seemed to just suck your fingers right in. Hange let out a muffled, guttural grunt into you, the vibrations making you clamp your thighs tight against their head. You almost felt apologetic, if it wasn’t for Hange, who seemed to get riled up by the very prospect of being choked out by your luscious thighs. Oxygen supply decreasing as amber eyes rolled into the back of their head, toned arms pulling you closer against them. Leaving behind marks on your skin that outlined where their fingers had been digging in.

Whilst simultaneously, you were plunging your fingers knuckles deep into their entrance. Your body leaning back as you bucked your wrist against them, fingers curling inwards against their walls. Hange’s eyes were stuck on you, watching as your body rocked against their mouth. Head hung back and breasts perked up as beads of sweat trickled down, illuminating your skin, the fine hairs around your stomach standing upright. Looking properly, they spotted a few moles scattered on your stomach, your lips were swollen as they bit out mutters of curses under your breath. Still trying to return the favour even despite feeling ruined. How divine.

The sight alone brought Hange to their knees, hazy pleasure erupting through them as they felt their body tremble. Truthfully, Hange seldom let people touch them, opting to typically give rather than receive, yet they felt like giving you permission to do whatever you wished with their body. They were so hypersensitive, extra responsive under your ambrosial touch. Debauched gasps melted into your core, still lapping at your slick as they rode through their own peak. Shuddering, as they seized their thighs against your wrist.

“Did you cu-“ Your excited, breathy voice was cut off by Hange grabbing your wrist, ripping your fingers out of themselves from overstimulation, their centre tensing with arousal dripping down their folds. Hange nodded as an affirmative, you could tell they were slightly stunned. Hange held your wrist against your back, elbow folding over as they lifted themselves up. Disconnecting your slit from their mouth, and moving you around as you returned to facing each other, your legs resting over their lap once more.

Hange’s spare hand caressed your jaw, uniting your lips together as they melded over yours. Sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, slipping their tongue into your mouth. You whined as they angled the tip of the strap over your folds, your slick lubricating the plastic. Hange was frenzied, desperately needing to see you stuffed with the silicone length. Elated from their own high, their words grew more depraved.

“Need to fuck this pussy,” They rasped, voice at the lowest frequency you’d heard from them, “Prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen,”

Your lips parted as Hange slipped the tip inside, stretching your walls out as you gripped onto their shoulders. Hissing as you adjusted to Hange burying themselves into your tender flesh. Sinking yourself down on the strap as your hips undulated against them, pressure building up again within your abdomen as Hange fucked the strap deep into you. Tip massaging over your inner walls, repeatedly hitting that same spot that made your breath catch in your throat and your vision go white.

“Fuc—keep going, pleas—please,” Mewling, you shut your eyes, eyebrows furrowing as your nails came to scratch at Hange’s back. Your words coming out in broken sobs, tears spilling down your cheeks as you were split apart on your own strap.

“So full—Hange—“

Hange sucked against your neck, then licking over the sore spots.

“Taking me so well,” Hange praised, voice sweetly laden with saccharine honey, “Sat so pretty on my cock,”

“ngh—Shit-I-I’m gonna come,” You were shaking, thighs trembling and abdomen twitching. Finally about to release after being so cruelly edged twice. The expression on your way was picture-worthy, fucked out and wanton.

“That’s it,” Hange kept rutting up into you, muttering praises, “Come all over me, baby,” A nibble at your earlobe and you were done for. Your climax reached you, tensing up your spine, mouth agape as you shuddered, face contorted.

“You look so pretty when you come,”

Your core tightened as you spilled out your release; the force pushing the strap out from inside you, squirting all over Hange’s lap. The hardest you’ve ever come in your life.

Hange didn’t relent just yet, making sure to fuck you through your peak so you could ride every second of it. When you finally stilled, your head fell onto Hange’s neck, murmuring softly against their clavicle. Sighing, you lifted your head up, greeting Hange’s half-lidded eyes with your own. A beat and Hange reconnected your lips together, gently kissing you as you came down. Mind still fuzzy and reeling. Their hands caressed your hips, thumbs running down your skin.

“You’re beautiful,” Hange whispered, pressing a tender peck down against your swollen lips, “Wish you would’ve talked to me earlier,”

You laughed, breathy and uneven, as bashfulness struck again. Once the cloud of lust had settled, you were left with nerves, that doe look back in your eyes as you weren’t quite sure what to do now. What if Hange never wants to see you again? After all of this, you don’t think you could handle being emotionally ghosted. It was unlike you entirely, but the interest in Hange remained, simmering as you relished in their tight hold— a hold that almost promised you it wasn’t going to leave. You dared to dream.

“What are you thinking about?” Hange muttered, resting their forehead against yours, eyes closing.

“Um…” You hummed, hesitant, “This, I guess, I’m a little… nervous,”

“I guess I am, too,” They chuckled, pressing their head closer, hands still setting your skin aflame, “But, i-if you’d like to, I wanna take you out,” Pausing, “On a real date, that is, not under false tutoring pretences,”

You pulled your head back, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to stretch, an attempt at masking the hopeful beam in your eyes.

“I’d love that.”

—

listen u guys 😭 someone pls sedate me or give me a lobotomy cos what am i meant to do when i PINE over 2d characters

let me know if u guys enjoyed <3 i love to read ur comments and inputs

[sparrowlucero]

Instead of discourse about showrunners and lesbians and whatever, I'm gonna bring a different type of discourse...whats ur fav and least Dr Whomst monsters. Hard mode: only the practical ones.

ok so I do like all the obvious ones, I like the angels, I like the vashta nerada, I like the not-things, I like the eternals. Here's a few deeper cuts (focusing on the tv show specifically):

they peaked with these maggots. they rock. pretty sure they're made with taxidermy? really great puppetry. I really like this thing:

what a cool design for this kind of forgotten midseason episode.

this is such a fun design for a langolier-type monster. I love how their crest and tail gives them the silhouette of a grim reaper

The 60s cybermen rock. I feel like they're hesitant to use them often in the modern show because they do look very 1960s but I think there's something really uncomfortable and evocative about the cloth faces that's lost when they're cool metallic robots. The mix between looking like an old diving suit and the implication of there being a chopped up person inside is gnarly and I love it. Simple, creepy, iconic design.

My favorite design in the show is probably this:

The 456 from the spinoff series torchwood. They didn't need the puppet to emote or move a ton since it spends the entire season in a little tank obscured in mist, so they just went crazy with the design and made it really bizarre looking. Extremely top tier alien. Anyways, negative. I really don't like this satan. the satan kind of sucks. the impossible planet is great atmospheric sci fi horror; every image of build up in it is haunting and leagues ahead of the climactic scene where he meets the satan. It singlehandedly kind of kills the vibe.

Personally I would have just kept the actual appearance off screen, just have it be eyes in the dark or something. Apparently they also tossed around the idea that it would end up being a normal little girl who was chained up in the cave and I think that would have visually fit the rest of the episode better.

I'm really not big on the modern design for the sea devils (the green one on the right). I think the classic ones clearly took a lot of direct influence from real animals and generally is a pretty thoughtfully realized design, the modern ones seem like they were first and foremost using the classic ones for reference and didn't quite capture the nuance of the design. Sad, as I would really like to see design for these guys with modern puppetry.

I think this is actually a pretty contentious opinion but the work of the specific studio who headed this redesign generally wasn't my favorite. Apparently there was some sort of major, semi public falling out between the fx studio that had been working on the show since 2005 and the people who started running the show in 2018, and they were briefly replaced with a much less experienced studio. No hate to them of course (I think this was actually their first job like, ever, and a lot of the work was done in crunch time?) but the difference did stand out to me:

[anything4mymoony]

~That you weren't mine~

MINORS DNI !!

One bed trope- enemies to lovers- forced proximity? 

Anyways- lesbian smut-fingering- reader is in charge for my domming w/w out there

Also- don't come at me, I haven't written smut in a PHAT minute so ya'll 🫣

You and Kit had practically been enemies since you were five. You loathed each other for some reason that now, as you grew older couldn’t remember. You would have gotten over it if kit weren’t the cockiest princess known to mankind. 

She was a great swordsman which only added onto her giant list of reason why she believed she was the best-person-ever-who-literally-had-soooo-much-talent. You hated every time your parents forced you to go visit her kingdom for “diplomatic appearances” to prove that both kingdoms were friends. 

And every time you were with Kit, she somehow managed to send you back home in a fury, fists clenched with the annoyance and frustration of her remarks. 

So it wasn’t really all that different when you went to visit for the who knows now many time. You both however, managed to get through dinner without a single squabble that both sets of parents had begun to believe that your childish antics were finally coming to an end. 

Their wishes had lasted for only so long, that as when you both exited the dining hall, the spell of your silence had broken. Kit managed to start it this time, asking with a snarky tone how your search for a suitor was going, somehow managing to add in that you were a intolerbable troll and oh- who would ever want to marry you? 

You bit back saying that her head was so far up her ass that her ego was so much larger an all of the men’s egos combined from both yours nd her kingdoms. Jade howeverr, finally had enough od the arguing between you both- a migraine that always seemed to return every time you two got together. So- Jade came up with an idea- one that she believed to be great. 

That night, when you were getting ready for bed, Kit opened your door, slightly confused to find you already in there. 

“What do you want?” You sighed, rolling your eyes. 

“I-um,” Kit began “um- Jade told me one of the maids accidentally set my bed on fire and that this room would be available for me to sleep in,” 

She couldn’t concetrate on her words, her eyes falling towards your slightly unbuttoned shirt that you were clearly in the middle of putting on. 

“Well this is my room. I'm staying here for the night. You can go find another room,” you spat. 

Kit made a face before turning to open the door to leave, only to find that it was locked. “Well shit” 

“Well shit what?” You asked, joining her side as you tried the door only to find that it was locked. You frowned “the door must have gotten stuck. I call the bed, you can sleep on the floor for all I care.” 

Kit gasped at your words “no way am I sleeping on the floor. You can!” 

You turned around before poking a finger at her chest “Kit, I am your guest here. I sleep in the damn bed,” 

You went to lay down on the bed, proving your point. Kit watched you for a moment, as you snuggled yourself in the middle of the bed, a smirk on your face. Kit only rolled her eyes and laid down next to you, her small spot on the edge of the bed. You frowned in disgust. 

“What are you doing?” You snapped. 

“I’m laying down,” Kit replied before digging her elbow into your ribs for you to move over “move over, I wont be able to sleep with such little room.” 

“This is my bed, im not moving,” you crossed your arms 

“Technically- I own this bed, I own everything in this castle. Move over or I’ll have to sleep on top of you.” 

“I’m not moving, Kit.” you frowned “You were the one who decided to bother me in my room and now you are stuck in here. Whose fault is that?” 

Kit didn’t respond. Instead, she rolled over to where she was onto of you. Her legs were straddling the sides of your body while her face hovered over yours. For a moment, you could have sworn you saw her eyes drift down to your lips before bouncing back up to your eyes. She gave you a lazy smile. 

“I guess this is going to have to do since you wont move over.” 

“Get off of me!” you tried to shove her off, but her hands were planted on either side of your head, keeping her upright. you felt your heart race at how close kit was to you, how she was practically onto of you. Your skin warmed at the feeling and you tried to move your legs. 

“You may hate me,” Kit leaned down, whispering in your ear as her warm breath brushed against your neck “but I believe your body thinks differently.” 

You parted your lips trying to form a sentence but your body was too overwhelmed. The warmth of her breath on your neck seemed to have made your brain short circuit. The only thing that came out of your mouth was a shuddering breath. 

You felt Kit smirk against your ear before she leaned down and kissed your neck. there was nothing that you could do with her body onto of yours- not that you wanted to do anything. Your body was filled with a warmth from where her lips had touched your skin. Kit continued to make her way down your neck, stopping to leave a little mark above your collar bone. 

A involuntary groan left your lips, body falling limp in the bed as you eyes fluttered for a moment. In that moment, you couldn’t remember why you had hated her so much, you could only think about how good her lips felt on you. 

“Kit,” you panted, hesitantly reaching up to grasp at her hair. 

“Are you sure you still hate me?’ Kit mumbled against your skin. 

“I…I dont think I ever did,” you responded as you pushed her off of you and rolled onto of her. 

Being on top of kit was a sight that you even thought you’d see. But you spent a few seconds marveling at how her flushed face looked against the pillow, her short locks splayed around her head. You shifted yourself on her, trying to fix your legs when your hips brushed against hers. Kit let out a sigh, eyelids almost drooping shut from the feeling. 

You cupped the sides of her face and kissed her gently, only for kit to grasp at your hips and kiss you back more passioanlty. It seemed as if she had been wanting to kiss you for such a long time- all of her thoughts and feelings had been conveyed into the kiss, groaning as you ran your teeth along her bottom lip. 

You quickly moved to kiss her neck as kit bit down on her lip, noises threatening to spill past her lips. A loud sigh left her as you found the sensitive spot on her neck. You stayed in that spot, running your teeth over the area before licking it to soothe the pain. While you did that, you slowly traced your fingers up kit’s arm. She shuddered from your touch. 

“Do you like that?” You whispered against her skin. 

Kit could only nod, biting down on her lip before a whimper escaped. You smiled at the mess that you had managed to reduce her to. You moved your hand up to her face before you looked up at her. 

“I need to hear you say it, Kit.” 

She nodded, trying to summon the willpower to speak. Her body was too overwhelmed from your touch and she felt like she was dreaming again. Ever since you had arrived to her kingdom after years of being apart, kits eyes had never left you. 

You can come back stronger and more dignified than you were the last time she had seen you but then you both had only been kids. Now, not had you only grown to be more breath taking- but there was something about your maturing personality that drew her in and kept her hooked. 

“Yes,” she whispered. 

I kissed at her lips as my fingers hovered over her waistband “is this okay?” 

“Ye-yeah, yes, please” 

You shuddered at how desperate she became, the begging in her voice forced a soft moan out of you. you moved yourself off of her. With her permission, you ran your fingers down her pants and between her thighs, teasingly touching her. Kit bit her lip as her head fell back against the pillows. Her breathing was becoming short and messy with the desperation to feel you. 

Her hips chased your touch, a moan rolling past her lips. You giggled from the sound she made before pressing a finger too her lips. 

“Shh,” you breathed against her mouth “can’t have anyone hearing us.” 

You slid a hand over her mouth, using that as a shield from the sounds you so deseralty wanted o hear. But something turned you on with the risk of being heard, with the forcefulness of having her moan into your hand sent something stirring inside of you. 

You dragged your pointer finger along her cunt. Kit arched her back, eyes practically rolling to the back of her head when you slowly inserted them into her wet pussy, half finished moans being spat into your hand. you moved your thumb along the top of her clit, seeking to create a wave of pleasure rolling through her. While you covered her mouth with one hand and the other in her pants, you leaned over to kiss at her neck, finding the same sensitive spot as before, running your teeth over it. 

She withered underneath you, bucking her hips to create the friction that you were teasingly building up with a slow pace. Kit whined your name into your hand, practically begging for you to speed up. 

Once you did, she let out a shuddering moan. Her hands were in your hair, pulling softly at the roots in an attempt to ground herself from the stinging pleasure building up inside of her. 

“You’re doing so good,” you praised, eyes rolling over her body and the messy state she was in as you pulled away from her. Your fingers sped up, kit’s hips rolling to meet the same pace and you could tell by the rapid breathing and frequent noises that she was getting close. 

Kit said something against your hand and you moved it away from her mouth. 

“I-i think I’m-“ she gasped, cut off by a groan. 

You could feel her clench around your fingers as you leaned in to kiss her lips once more before whispering “come for me, baby” 

You forgot to put your hand back over her mouth, letting kit moan loudly as she came, her body sagging with relief as you kissed her forehead. 

“You did so good,” you whispered giants her neck. 

Her breathing slowly came back to a normal pace, her hair wild and clung to the sides of her face damp with sweat. Kit reached up to kiss you, lips warm and swollen. 

“I never hated you” kit whispered “I hated how I couldn’t have you.” 

“Well now you do,” you whispered back, stroking back a strand of her hair. 

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

I asked a few of my favorite hazbin writers this and only one answered and it was ok but I felt like it could have been expanded on so here's my take

Vox, Val, Alastor, and Lucifer react to your love language being baking/cooking

Vox

(Starting with him because he's the one thaf inspired this).

Vox came from the 50s and even though I firmly believe he is past all the ingrained gender roles and homophobia I think he still has some internalized misogyny. He wants to be viewed as the man in the relationship, the breadwinner, the provider. He can cook for himself but it's pretty basic food (except steak. Like every other man since the invention of the grill how to bbq has been hardwired into his brain. If his partner also grills ya'll fight over whose turn to cook out it is)

(Unrelated but as a lesbian who loves to grill, and is the designated grill bro, butch lesbians or cookout lesbians are some of Vox's favorite type of gays to chill with)

I firmly believe that's why even though he's a sub, it's so hard and would take time and trust to get him to let you top and enjoy it. He's so worried people will find out and judge him, that you'll judge him. His ego can be very fragile.

Especially if we go with the Vox used to be a cult leader theory. His power, image, and success are linked to his ability to appear in control. To appear to have all the answers and take responsibility. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to unravel all that and help him seperate his personal and professional image.

That being said, a partner who uses acts of service as a love language is perfect for him. He's a busy man, so he tends to be a gift giver type. The gifts are always well thought out and expensive. He wants it to be something you need, want, can get a lot of enjoyment from, and be worth the money spent, so he puts time and effort into them. Unless he's just showing off by giving you his card and telling you to go nuts.

So you taking time to make his coffee for him the way he likes, ordering lunch from his favorite places and having it sent to his office so he remembers to eat, or just texting him reminders to drink water or eat/take breaks throughout the day makes him giddy.

If you're his assistant or something, (and I believe Vox absolutely would have his partner working for him/with him), then it's even better when you take on extra work to try and help him. Organizing his schedule, sorting emails/mail, and proofreading things. Any small act you do for him, because you want to and care about him, makes his heart rate pick up.

It'll really make him overheat, glitching slightly, literal heart eyes, if he comes home after a shitty day and you're cooking for him.

His internal monologue is absolutely raving about what a good housewife you are for him, a hard working husband.

Bonus points if you cleaned too! Either way, he adores you even more now, letting you fret and coo at him, removing his jacket and tie, pouring him a drink and telling him dinner will be ready soon and you made his favorite. He's so tempted to bend you over the counter right now, but that would ruin dinner. After you guys eat though, he's having you for dessert. Man's gonna make sure you know how much he appreciates this by turning your knees to jello, good luck walking tomorrow, doll.

If you bake treats and bring them to VoxTek he's gonna brag so much. Literally the embodiment of John Mulaney's, "That's my wife!" If you bring them just for him, he's defending his treats like they're the last ones in Hell. He has literally hit Val with a fly swatter for even asking if he could have one.

(Unrelated but like, chubby vox maybe? You're cooking is too good)

Valentino

Val wishes he could cook better. He's some kind of latino, so I feel like the fact he can't cook very well is a sore spot culturally. He can make the salsa and chips and like, help with stuff, he knows how to wrap tortillas and tomales (I picture him as like Mexican or Puerto Rican but that's just cuz the town I grew up had a large Puerto Rican group).

It doesn't help that his eyesight is even more shit in Hell. He can't see what he's doing hald the time. It ruins his art hobby too. He's overall just more easily frustrated with his bad eyesight.

I don't imagine you guys dating per se. Maybe you're his sugar baby, maybe you're someone he hired to help him do stuff like clean and organize and you just sorta start doing other things to help him. (Again I'm not saying it excuses jackshit, but as someone who worked with bipolar people and people with mood disorder I kinda see the fan theory in him, either way I think all the Vees could be sort of trained to be better people, but especially Val. We already saw Vox do it.)

After all, he's usually in a much better mood if you do and that means less outbursts. The first few times you cook him something he teases you about being his housewife, tries to make it sexual. It's not really something he clocks as being an act of love because I don't think you'd realize it yourself at first. I think the more you got to see him when he wasn't stressed, lashing out, being abusive, you'd start catching feelings. ("I can fix him", delulu asses)

He loves to be in the kitchen when you cook once it starts becoming a regular thing. He can't see clearly what you're doing but the way you move around the kitchen and get what you need, even if you're an ADHD mess and do steps out of order or at random, he can tell you know what you're doing. He likes to smell the food too while it's cooking.

He will ask you to try and make some spicier/more traditional foods he grew up with, but he doesn’t remember all of the ingredients, and it just gets him more frustrated he can't tell you. If you look them up and surprise him with it it'll probably be the most genuine, human response you get from him.

He's shocked, silent, standing frozen in the penthouse as familiar smells waft around him. You present him a plate nervously, practically shaking hoping it's good enough. The first bite nearly puts him in tears. No one's done anything this nice for him? Why would you? Lowkey thinks you want something from him. It's gonna make him paranoid for a while so don't expect a verbal compliment but he eats it all.

Eventually though, one day when you're in the kitchen cooking, humming softly and swaying your hips, one set of his arms will wrap around your waist, the other reaching around you help with the salsa, or wrap a tamale, and he'll prop his chin on your head and mumble out thanks. Some praise, maybe. Would definitely tell you stories about eating these foods growing up.

It's the first step towards having an actual relationship with him.

Alastor

This man almost always insists on cooking. He isn't much of a sweet tooth either. You tell him one night you want to try cooking for him. Tell him you understand it's an activity he enjoys and relaxes too, (especially if you know it's something that reminds him of his mother), but you want to do something for him and this is one way you show you care.

It's gonna remind him of his Mama so much that if you didn't know why he loved cooking so much before you do now. He compromises. You pick the meal and gather the ingredients and do most of the cooking and he helps prep and does dishes.

He playfully critiques you the entire time about adding some spice too it or a little southern flair. Just smack him with the wooden spoon, gently. It's gonna make him laugh because his Mama used to do that when he wouldn't keep out of the sweets, or tried to add stuff to her cooking.

Once you start it becomes habit to help each other in the kitchen every night, trading off who cooks and who preps and does dishes.

If you do find baked goods he likes that aren't too sweet and send them to him as snacks, especially to Overlord meetings, he's so fucking obnoxious about his sweet little doe (doesn't matter if you are one or not) and how they spoil him. Especially rubs it in Vox's face (not him whining to his partner so they send him with treats too so he can also brag).

Only shares with Charlie, Rosie, Niffty, and sometimes Zestiel. If he's feeling generous, Husk can have a bite.

Low-key also has a thing for his partner behaving domestically even if he isn't exactly invested in traditional marriage.

Favorite activity though is dancing with you in the kitchen to jazz while dinner cooks, holding you close, in his room usually, so he can hear the sounds of the bayou. If he closes his eyes he can pretend this is how his life went and that his Mama is in the corner or sitting in her chair, watching him, happy to see him find someone.

He will literally kiss Vox willingly before admitting that last part though.

Lucifer

It's not that he can't cook, it's just....it's easier to just snap his fingers and make food appear. He's been in a depressed slump for decades man, he's lived off of the 'want food, no cook, only eat' mindset.

When you come into his life it's a complete overhaul. Despite what issues you have yourself you can recognize someone in worse state than you and immediately categorize and prioritize. First thing first, get this man's duck collection/obsession organized, thinned out, and under control.

Second, help him work through his issues with Lillith and Charlie. Encourage therapy, be a mediator between him and Charlie (and trust me she appreciates it. She knows her dad struggles, didn't know how bad, and still feels awkward). Help him socialize more, rebuild his connection with the other sins.

Get this man a work schedule!

Then it's on to personal habits. You help him get out of bed, you're both probably a little helpless in the sleeping on time category though. Help him get a routine again to keep out of his funk. Then you start cooking for him. It just happens naturally. You enjoy cooking, you enjoy showing people you love how much you care by providing good meals.

At first he's gonna resist and tell you he can handle that, you already do so much for him. He can cook or better yet he can just make it appear and you laugh and tell him it tastes better when it's made with love. He brushes it off as a joke too, you're both just being silly and obviously you said that to get him to quit fussing. Except, unholy hell does it actually taste so much better.

Lucifer hadn’t realized how bland and unsatisfying just materializing the food was. Maybe that's because he was so depressed and uninterested in what he ate, maybe not. Either way, your cooking is so much fucking better. He actually looks forward to eating now. If he gets caught up in work or has a bad day, you make sure to always bring him something, leaving it as an offering of sorts. It almost always works and entices him to eat at least once.

You cook, he does dishes, and he will not budge on that rule. He wants to be a fair man. He occasionally boots you out to do dessert, though. Apple pie is his bitch and you've never tasted one as good as his. He also makes good pancakes and some absolutely orgasmic angel's food cake.

Ironicall, devil's food cake is one of your go to recipes. Sometimes you both make a cake and take it to events just to watch people get confused as fuck when it's revealed the literal Devil did not make the devil's food cake.

Everyime you're in the kitchen together it's a disaster, you're both to silly and chaotic. You were making noodles one time and he threw flour at you so you smacked him with the noodle you were holding, leaving a line of flour and a speck of dough against his cheek. From there it escalates. It happens every time. Making cakes together, you're smashing frosting on each other. Making cookies, you're fighting each other to stop eating cookie dough.

Once, after you get fed up with him stealing her spatula to lick the chocolate off of, hovering above you with his wings, you pout and bat your eyes, asking him sweetly to please give it back. He swoops down in front of you, booping your nose to smear chocolate on it and leaning in to kiss you, letting you have a taste of the chocolate batter you were mixing for brownies. While his tongue is in your mouth, drunk off the taste of you and chocolate you smash an egg over his head and let out a triumphant cheer, snatching back your spatula.

He's so stunned his wings disappear and he drops the last few inches to the ground while you cackle. His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing, and his chest feels like it's gonna explode. His eyes are literal sparkles. He hasn't felt this much joy, wonder, and love since Charlie was born. It feels like witnessing creation all over again, of the breathlessness he felt when he first saw Lillith.

You're laughter stops when you realize he's just staring at you awestruck and you smile, asking if he's ok.

"For once...yeah..Yes. I'm ok." He responds, genuinely. You kiss his cheek and resume baking. He watches you from the counter now, dreamily, thinking about how he's gonna marry you someday.

[salmonskinrolltf]

Soulmates 2

[Here's a sequel of sorts to my previous story Soulmates (you don't need to have read it to understand this story). With thanks to @guytransformedforever, @beardobession, @tf-vigilante, @maletransformationlover, @clevertreephilosopher, @scorpionofredsand, and @maletffanatic for providing the photos used as inspiration.]

Hello, my name is Tyler. This is me:

And this is my roommate, Dylan:

Now look, I don’t have a problem with gay people. My cousin is a lesbian. And Dylan is a great roommate. Stays out of my way when we’re not gymming together, but is always down to hang when I need someone to talk to. I just wish he would be less in my face with all his gay shit. Rainbow flags everywhere, blasting Ariana Grande at all hours, constantly bringing new Grindr hookups back to the apartment but giving me side-eye when I ogle women. It’s just… too much for me.

Here’s the thing. I might actually be able to change that. I have this friend Evan, who I’ve wingmanned for on a few occasions over the past year. One night, when we were getting drunk together, he shared his secret with me. He has a magic gift. He clasped my hand and said “tomorrow, you will wake up and have this magic too.” And sure enough, the next day I could feel a tingle coursing through my veins, and I automatically had the knowledge of how to channel it.

Now I have the ability to change somebody’s future. I can’t fiddle with anything that’s innate or has already happened to them. Like, I can’t just make Dylan straight. But I can shape his future decisions or actions, and my magic will make alterations to speed the process along. Like if I made him decide to work out more, he would basically become a muscle beast within the week. Not that I’d do that. I still gotta be the alpha here. I just want to make him a little more… palatable. Someone cool to kick back with all the time, even if he sucks dick. Let’s see... I think I know what will work.

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL BECOME OBSESSED WITH SPORTS

———————————

Hello, my name is Dylan:

Sports are my LIFE. I never cared about them much growing up, but about a month ago I felt the urge to join my local queer volleyball team and never looked back. It became my everything. It’s been great exercise, but on top of playing volleyball and getting totally jacked off of it, I’ve loved the sense of camaraderie. I love my team. So much so that I even pierced my nipples on a dare when we lost the semifinals. My teammate River also recommended I stop dyeing my hair, and I think the look is really working for me. For some reason, even though it’s only been a month, my hair has grown out significantly since then. Was the red dye stunting its growth or something? Anyway. I also feel like my roommate Tyler and I have really bonded. We’ve been watching baseball games together and I think he appreciates how into it I am. He says he’s excited to bro out while watching football together in the fall.

I love Tyler, but here’s the thing. Maybe I love him too much. I’ve always had this huge crush on him, and no matter how many random Grindr hookups I try to distract myself with, I just can’t stop hoping that one day he’ll give up women for good and decide he loves me. Especially now that we’re spending all this time together, bumping chests when our team wins and shit.

I know us getting together is never going to happen, but I have this… temptation. I was born with a gift. Or maybe I wasn’t. Something my twink friend Paul told me made me think maybe he had something to do with it. Anyway, I have the ability to reshape someone’s past. I change just one thing about their past, and everything about their present just ripples forward to reflect that change. It’s a delicate art. Changing something big can have huge effects that are totally unpredictable. It’s a major temptation to make Tyler gay, but who knows how he’d turn out. Plus, I think that’s just too invasive.

But… Maybe I could change something small about him. Something that would make him less my type, and allow me to move on and focus on finding a boyfriend who would actually be into me. I’m into nice guys. I really love how kind and caring he is. And come on, he’s a FIREFIGHTER. So maybe I can try…

TYLER GREW UP SELFISH AND SPOILED

———————————

What’s up, I’m Tyler.

You dig the jacket? Yeah, I’m still a firefighter, I’m just off duty. But babes dig whatever look I rock, you know what I mean? I get what I want, and what I want is a lot of one night stands. I know how to get ‘em, too. I’m so glad I made the decision to grow this beard out a year ago, it’s opened so many doors for me. And opened a lot of legs.

I’m getting what I want from Dylan, too. Finally, I have a roommate who’s willing to grab brews and watch the game with me. But I think I fucked up when I changed him. Queer volleyball isn’t exactly “sports,” at least not in my book. I thought he’d come out like a linebacker or something! I mean, nipple rings were never part of the plan. The gay guys seem to really go for them, too, so he’s got an even steadier stream of Grindr hookups coming in and out of the place.

On top of that, I’m a little sick of his shit. He’s always giving me lip about stupid stuff like leaving my dishes in the sink or dropping my unwashed uniform on the bathroom floor. He says it’s unsanitary. Like his parade of twinks aren’t dying to sniff that shit anyway. He just doesn’t get it. I think his volleyball teammates are a bad influence too. They’re all so obsessed with aesthetic and anti-hetero rhetoric. I still can’t make him straight, but I can definitely make him less… annoying.

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL START HANGING OUT WITH MORE STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP HIM STOP WORRYING ABOUT STUPID SHIT AND BE LESS PRISSY, WELL-GROOMED, AND UPTIGHT

———————————

Yo, I’m Dylan.

Yeah, I cut my hair shorter than the last time you saw me. The upkeep was just getting to be too much, y’know? A couple weeks ago, about the time I dumped that lame-ass volleyball team I was on, I just got bored with shaving every day, too. I invested in a trimmer and now I rock the stubble look, and it’s working for me. I’ve gained a bit of weight since then, and it’s all for the better because I joined my local football league. Having a few extra beers with my new buds afterward just adds to my potential as a linebacker, anyway.

I thought hanging out with more straight people would make me get used to their vibe and kinda inoculate me against Tyler, but I’m still totally obsessed with him. He’s more of a bad boy now, but I’m finding that less unappealing than I used to. Plus, he’s still parading around in his uniform all the time. I can’t help it! I’ve jerked off more times that I can count to his Mr. June photos in the local firefighter calendar.

Whenever I see his mom, she’s constantly going on about how, out of all his Tonka toys growing up, the fire truck was always his favorite. She thinks that’s why he grew up to be a firefighter. Maybe I can change that core memory into something a little more… disreputable. That would definitely make him not my type anymore. I hope.

TYLER’S FAVORITE TOY GROWING UP WAS A TONKA MOTORCYCLE

———————————

Fuckin’ A, man, I’m Tyler.

God, I love my hog. She’s a beaut, ain’t she? My parents wanted me to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer or a firefighter or some shit, but all I ever wanted to do was ride my hog. Chicks want to ride my hog too, and I let them. As long as they don’t go near my bike! Hahaha, get it? Fuck, I love life. Let me take another drag on this stogie real quick.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my roommate, Dylan. I wish I didn’t have to room with anyone, but my boss at the garage keeps refusing to promote me. I should knock him around one of these days, see if that changes his mind. Anyway, sure, Dylan isn’t so much of a priss anymore. He doesn’t give me shit if I leave my grease-stained clothes on the couch or light up when we’re watching a football game.

But I wanted him to be straight-acting, you know? I tried to train him up as my wingman but he wore a super gay shirt with all these see-through holes to the party, and all the chicks kept their eyes on him the whole time! Fucker. Why can’t he be more like his brother? I’ve seen pictures. That dude is a full on redneck slob, got a Confederate tattoo and everything. I know they had the same backwater-ass trailer trash upbringing, why can’t he be rougher around the edges? You know what… maybe he can!

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL REALIZE HE WANTS TO EMBRACE HIS WHITE TRASH UPBRINGING

———————————

Hey y’all, I’m Dylan.

Hoo-ee, life has been good lately. I dunno why I resisted my good ol’ boy roots for so long. This goatee really makes me look rugged, dunnit? Also the chest hair. So grabbable. I decided to stop shaving my body, and poof! There it went. A full rug, within like two days I reckon. Like a sign from God. This is how I was always meant to be.

I know I was trying to push away my crush on Tyler by making him not my type, but what’s the fuckin’ point? I need someone who can handle me, and this hot as fuck biker dude I’ve created might be the only one who can handle me at this point. I ride ‘em rough and bareback, just like the horses back home, and weak city dudes just can’t handle it.

Will he be the same if he’s not straight? Maybe not. But as long as he can take my eight inches, I’ll keep him around. I vaguely remember having some sort of compunction about changing him so drastically, but I’m too horny to remember what it was.

Fuck it.

TYLER WAS BORN GAY

———————————

Uh… hi. I’m Tyler. Who are you again?

Sorry, I’m pretty forgetful. Daddy Dylan says I don’t gotta remember shit though, as long as I let him ride me as rough and as long as he likes. He’ll do all the rest for me. He tells me where to go, what to do, who to do. There are so many nice, hot guys who are willing to pay our rent if I turn a few tricks. I love it.

I’ve been like this as long as I can remember. My mom and dad kicked me out when I was 18, in my senior year of high school. I was caught sucking my English teacher’s dick behind the locker rooms. I never went to college after that, but it’s not like I was getting good grades anyway. Sucking Mr. Brentmon’s cock wasn’t for my health, you know. He had a nice juicy one, too. I still dream about it sometimes.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, I took up with this biker gang for a while after getting kicked out. I’ve always had a thing for bikers. But once they got through using my ass, they got bored. It was hard for a while, but now things are oh, so easy. I get all the dick I could ever want. I have a roof over my head, and no job to worry about. All I do is go to the gym and eat and fuck and I never have to think. Dylan said he might take me out muddin’ sometime too. I don’t know what that is, but anything Dylan does is fun. Fuck, I love the way his goatee tickles my skin when he kisses me, so rough, so manly. Way manlier than I’ve ever been. It’s so fucking hot. I love how he takes care of me.

I really have no complaints. I wouldn’t change anything about my life, even if I could remember how…

[a2l1y1]

Can you keep a secret?

ft. Bsf Ellie Williams.

Summary ➜ You’ve always had a crush on your best friend, but you never got the chance to tell her. Both of you have horrible love love relationships status, you knew this wouldn’t work.

Warnings ➜ a LOT of smut. Praising, degrading, use of strap, receiving, teasing, use of alchocol, drugs, cigarettes, making out etc. Idk, lesbian things🤗 .And obviously Ellie being a total loser.

disclaimer : I have a little bad grammar when it comes to explicit/smut writing, and generally my English sucks.

PS: A LOT OF WRITING HERE 😫!!!!

(And basically too much writing so I don’t wanna use my time into checking for any bad spelling or mistakes here, if you can’t understand then uh, try to? Anyways.)

You always had a crush on Ellie. Whether it was seeing and listening to her talk about dinosaurs or yapping about the galaxy, the stars, the planets, just Ellie being Ellie herself, you loved and admired her. You always visited her and stayed over at her apartment, which was calmly quiet except for the times that you would bring a karaoke and blasted off some music until three in the morning singing and yelling with Ellie.

Ellie loved ranting to you about her romantic love life. Which, obviously as a best friend you’d be glad and excited that she has enough trust in you to talk into extreme details about her horrible relationship status. But, as a Ellie being your forever and obsessive crush whom you’d literally drop in your knees if she asked, even as a joke? You felt like complete shit. Having to suck up your excessive amount of jealousy you would’ve gotten over every single girl who was lucky enough to kiss Ellie was insane. So right when you would’ve gotten the chance to be alone away from Ellie or finally at your apartment, your room or your car, you’d just start sobbing over the thoughts of Ellie touching, kissing and loving other girls. You hated the fact of Ellie being so clueless she couldn’t see how bad you were for her, that’s why out of pure jealousy you’d scare away her dates every single time you could.

Like for example Cat; Ellie and Cat met around December? You and Ellie were at Jesse’s random party which he threw as a celebration for Dina’s score of something, nobody cared about the context. Which, honest speaking, everyone just went there and had a blast for the alcohol and the beer. Long story short you purposely dropped some wine on her white crop top and pastel blue jeans. You told her Ellie was taken so she could at least get an idea to go away.

But hey, sometimes you let Ellie have some dates to just cover yourself up so it’s not so suspicious that nobody in town wants to go with Ellie Williams, even if it hated your guts.

“Well, uh how did it go with that brunette girl, Katy was it?” You asked Ellie as you sat on her bed, legs crossed as you brushed your wet and messy hair, looking for a conversation while Ellie read a book beside you. “Hmm, I guess it was okay but I don’t think she’s into me, definitely straight.” Ellie answered as she turned her page over, marking her page up as she looked over to you and gave a soft shrug. You couldn’t help but to give an awkward smile back, having to play it ‘cool’ with Ellie was not your thing, but since you’ve been crushing over her for a while you tried to get the hang of it. “Well uh hey there’s plenty of other girls for you, maybe just not her” you sighed sarcastically, knowing you were excited and surprised that this girl failed just like the rest.

“Man I just think these girls are playing, I want a relationship like I dunno… maybe something that lasts more than just a conversation?” Ellie groaned as she closed her book playfully aggressive, turning to look at you while you finished brushing your hair and doing a little and simple ponytail. You laughed, Ellie just arguing about her hopeless relationships was cute, avoiding the fact you were the main reason why they didn’t worked but let’s skip that.

“Okay well y’know what? Let’s avoid that question then.” You answered as you dropped your head over Ellie’s shoulder, fidgeting and playing with her hand, admiring her tattoo. “Well, what about you? You barely talk about your boyfriends?” questioned Ellie as she gently moved your head, trying to make a firm and excited eye contact, waiting for your love drama. You haven’t told Ellie that you weren’t exactly ‘straight’ since obviously the only girl you were desperate to date was her, you just tried to find dates to fill the void with stupid and clueless guys who didn’t wanted anything but sex.

“Well uhm.. I don’t think I’m seeing Troy anymore, he asked me for nudes the third week of going out, and I don’t know feels weird.” You shrugged as you took your glasses off and began to clean them. “Oh shit uh damn… guys suck” Ellie answered as she tried to find a proper answer, she was horrible at comforting you but always tried to give her best effort at it.

“Well hey, you deserve so much better than that. I bet a lot of guys would want to treat you good and buy you flowers.” Ellie tried to comfort you as she placed her hand on your knee, softly rubbing it with her thumb as an act of love and comfort. You quickly felt embarrassed, needing to stay firm and regain control of yourself. “Y-yeah thanks els.” You relied as you checked your phone, it was two in the morning.

“Hey els, I think I should just go home” you pointed out as you softly put your things on your bag, it was too late and you weren’t having it. “Wait but it’s too late, why can’t you stay over?” Ellie suggested as she rapidly stood up and took her crocs off, turning some blue led lights on and turning the main lights off, throwing you some pillows and getting on her bed again. This was Ellie’s way of begging you to stay over, which cmon, it was Ellie. How could you decline her requests? You sighed, knowing it would be worse for you to stay calm but it was too late, Ellie was right. “Okay fine, only because it’s just too late and I don’t feel like driving” you groaned playfully as you got under Ellie’s dinosaur fluffy blanket.

- -

it was approximately four in the morning. That’s what you can at least remember, you couldn’t sleep, not at all. Ellie was knocked out, sleeping on your neck as if she hasn’t slept for decades. Her body wrapped around yours, she loved cuddling you at night. You were flushed and sweaty, couldn’t keep your eyes off Ellie at all. Her heavy breathing close to your neck, her body around yours, her arms on your waist, this was making you an absolute mess. You couldn’t breathe properly, your rhythm was not synced right, you could swear everyone on the apartment floor could hear your heartbeats of how loud and fast you felt them. On a good hand, this was good, but knowing how bad you are over Ellie? This wasn’t so enjoyable. Worse thing about sleeping with Ellie was that she is a horrible sleeper, she moves and constantly. her hands felt as if she was wandering around your body, this made you feel as guilty as possible. Before both of you said your good nights, you took off your shirt since you assumed this would happen, and you hated being sweaty. But now? You were regretting it, feeling every inch of Ellie’s hands around you felt as if every gasp of air you took was thicker.

“Fuck, els… move the fuck away from me.” You whispered as you tried to take her hands away from your waist, but every time you moved her away, she would just grab you again and tighter. You could’ve just sworn this was just some silly prank and she was wide awake of how strong her grip was on your body. The guilty feeling of being so needy over this but knowing it was wrong repeated over your head. After minutes of silence and stress you decided to shift sides to the complete opposite direction of Ellie’s face, it was tough to move but you successfully did it. Regardless of your hard effort of trying to get Ellie away from you, Ellie’s cold hands gripped on your waist tighter, pulling you closer to her. You tried your best to bite your lower lip as hard as possible, needing to hold onto a whimper that was so close to escaping your lips. Ellie was basically spooning you now, and you felt as bad as before. Just imagining of the possible scenarios, but quickly coming into realization of how wrong you were for every thing of this. Ellie’s hands roaming around your waist as if you were some body pillow had you sweating like you ran a marathon and did 60 miles in less than an hour. Guilty of this thoughts and emotions, you forcefully pushed away Ellie’s hands away, needing to get a little air on your body and controlling your breaths. You knew this was wrong, but fuck it, you weren’t doing anything but Ellie being a horrible and heavy sleeper. You stood up from her bed, and slipped down your pants. You were just on some sports bra and boxers you stole from Ellie earlier. Sighing at the exhaustion and stress, you assumed it’ll be better to sleep on Ellie’s couch. So you did, you walked over to the living room, gently opening the door with a pillow and a blanket and you threw yourself on the couch.

“Wake up what the fuck are you doing on my couch???” Ellie yelled as she threw some pillows on your face, it was 8 am already. You felt as if it was seconds ago you tried sleeping and failed.

“Shit it’s your fault for being a bad sleeper I had to leave your room” you groaned as you hid your face under her dinosaur blanket, which didn’t help so much since Ellie quickly grabbed the blanket aggressively and tried to throw you off on her floor. “Listen, I know I’m a bad sleeper but don’t steal my dinosaur blanket.”

After a long session of playful arguments with Ellie you left her apartment. Still having the crazy flashbacks of last night that didn’t let you sleep at all. You decided to drive over to Dina’s place because aside Ellie being your best friend, she was your crush. And who could you talk about your crushes if your best friend IS the crush? Dina.

“Girl are you fucking with me right now? You didn’t woke her up and let her make you a mess.. you’re….full of stuff yeah” Dina chuckled as she took a sip of her wine, looking at you concerned knowing how many years you’ve been trying to avoid talking to Ellie about your feelings or anything, actually. “Dina, I swear I couldn’t talk she had her hands all over me how was I supposed to remain caaaalmmmm” you sighed as you scratched your cheeks stressfully. Dina shook her head, she hated seeing you like this. “Have you fucked someone before? Like actually, I think you might need some sex in your life. You definitely need a break from Ellie.” she suggested as she handed over a party flyer.

“Jesse is throwing another party tonight, you should come well dressed and hook up with someone, I doubt Ellie is coming today since cat might be there but it’s a great opportunity for you.” Dina added as she stood up and walked to the kitchen to wash her cup. “Are you sure? I feel guilty, I haven’t been able to go on dates knowing Ellie is the only one on my mind.” You confessed as you stood up and followed the girl, feeling like you’d go crazy. “Well, that’s a you problem girl, you need to find someone else to fill the void or else you’ll go crazy, go for Abby, I heard she likes you.” Dina responded as she opened her door and walked away with you to her balcony.

“Abby likes me? As in the actual Abby?” You widened your eyes in shock, how could Abby be into you knowing there’s tons of hotter girls who tried hitting her. “I guess I could I dunno.. try” you added as you kept thinking. “That’s the spirit! I’ll see you at Jesse’s house tonight then.” Dina smiled as she playfully punched your shoulder, she needed to find a way to cheer you up and remove Ellie from your head.

- -

Pink or pastel blue? You couldn’t decide. What am I even supposed to wear for this party if I wasn’t gonna impress Ellie Williams, but instead Abby, what is Abby even into? You felt weird, but maybe if you dressed as yourself you’d get something. You had your head fuzzed off by the guilt of knowing you’d finally do your shot with someone else after a while. That’s when your phone vibrated and you heard a notification; it was Ellie.

“Hey, r u up? What r u doing.” 11:08 pm.

You didn’t know what to tell her, going on a party without actually telling her or inviting her felt horrible. What if she caught you and Abby talking? What if she thinks you’re dating Abby and she liked you? What if Dina already invited her and she appears out of nowhere? No, you were overthinking. But lying felt horrible.

“I’m just trying on some clothes.” - 11:15 pm

“Ooo can I see? If not it’s ok loll” - 11:16 pm

Your face flushed, but you felt shitty. Showing your outfit to Ellie knowing it’s meant for Abby destroyed your thoughts completely. You didn’t wanted to hurt Ellie, but fuck this honestly, you knew Ellie wouldn’t just like you back, right? You’re her best friend but it still hurt.

“Nty, I don’t look so good anyways I don’t wanna show you my ugly side.” - 11:20 pm

“Lmao you’re never ugly but ok :))” - 11:22 pm

You wanted to scream. Little messages like this would’ve just made you go crazy over Ellie fucking Williams. But you couldn’t show her you were desperate on texting her either, so leaving her on read was more acceptable for you.

After minutes of deciding your last choice was a pastel pink crop top with some light jeans and some Adidas. You heard Abby wasn’t a Nike fan so maybe Adidas would do the trick, avoiding the fact your Nikes were all creasy and some of them weren’t so clean. You meet up with Dina and Jesse at the party and they greeted you as you walked in.

“Finally you’re here, I assumed you didn’t felt like coming.” Dina chuckled as she hugged you and offered a drink. “I just didn’t know what to wear, am I too overdressed?” You asked as you accepted Dina’s drink, walking over to the kitchen with her. “No you’re just perfect, make sure to have fun today and don’t think about you know who.” Dina added as she smiled and winked, she pointed out that Abby usually likes to smoke on the balcony or talk with people on the second floor rooms. But you had other plans, you’d just let things flow and you decided to walk away and explore your way out of things.

Maybe a little initiative won’t hurt, right? You decided to look for Abby on some rooms, accidentally opening ‘occupied’ rooms but needing to find her and distract your head. That’s until you opened a room and all the stored smoke left to your face as you slowly walked in and saw Abby sitting on a bed.

“Hi.” You awkward said as you closed the door and walked infront of Abby. “Uh hey, what’s up?” She asked in concern, you didn’t know what to talk about.

“I… uh can I stay here with you? If you don’t mind of course.” You awkwardly said as you sat on the bed beside Abby, giving her a soft smile. “Oh of course go ahead” Abby replied as she returned a smile and offered you her joint. “No thanks I don’t smoke” you chuckled as she widened her eyes in confusion.

“But aren’t you Ellie’s friend? I thought you smoked with her” Abby questioned as she looked at you with concern, and a little bit of something else. “No.. no, I mean yes Ellie smokes but I’m not really into it, I prefer drinking even tho she loves to offer me.” You chuckled awkwardly. Your whole point of being with Abby was to avoid thinking and talking about Ellie, which it made you feel uncomfortable. “Oh I see, well how have you been? Why did you wanted to see me?” Abby asked with a soft smile on her face while she studies your expressions and the way you talk.

“I just wanted to talk to you that’s all.” You replied in a soft tone as you trying to avoid eye contact. “Listen, if it’s about what people have said, it’s true. I do like you and I know we haven’t actually had any proper conversations like this but don’t feel pressured into talking to me.” Abby quickly confessed as she looked over to you and grabbed your face softly, forcing eye contact. “I… I don’t know, I just thought we could talk and.. well—” You were starting to stutter and overstimulate. You never liked Abby and you couldn’t find anything to respond or comfort her, the guilt was starting to reach your core and it wasn’t good.

“Hey hey that’s okay calm down oka..—” Abby tried to talk to you as she softly placed a hand on your knee, which disclaimer, Ellie loved doing that to show you comfort. You couldn’t take it any longer. You stood up and left the room, tears forming on your eyes as you left with no response. You gently rubbed your watery eyes, not fully paying attention to where you were walking as you went downstairs to get a drink. How the fuck could you be so normal talking to Ellie knowing you loved her? You hated pretending you were just fine. Maybe it was the drink Dina offered you making you this sensitive, or maybe the night was not yours. Too many thoughts forming on your head you didn’t noticed you bumped over someone.

“Hey, you okay? What’s wrong?” That voice, those words just felt recognizable. It was Ellie. “Wait..— are you crying?” She added as she tried to take your hands away from your face gently to look at you more clearly. You couldn’t help it but to tear up and hug her. “Love, did someone made you cry?” Her words were so reassuring but how could you tell her she was the reason you were crying? When you got a glimpse of the place and your eyes weren’t that watery as Ellie rubbed your back and hugged you, you noticed Dina looking at you with concern, and a little disappointed. She only wanted you to focus on you, but there you were; all over Ellie Williams once again.

Ellie didn’t enjoy seeing you cry, instead she took both of you out of that party and drove you to her apartment. Once she got to her apartment she walked you to her room and made you completely comfortable. She threw her dinosaur blanket ontop of you, kissed your forehead and brought you some ice cream she had on her fridge and sat down beside you. Honestly, you loved Ellie even if sometimes she was a little loser, but you couldn’t deny she treated you amazing just for being her best friend.

“Why were you talking with Abby.” You heard Ellie asking you in soft murmurs as she crossed her arms and looked over you from her side of the bed, a little bit more serious now than some seconds ago. “What… what do you mean?” You asked confused, just how did she found out?

“Abby texted me some minutes ago you left a room crying after you guys talked ” the word ‘talked’ was mocked into sarcastic air quotes as Ellie turned her phone off to directly look at you. “Just what were you talking with the famous Abby Anderson” She raised an eyebrow as she watched you with a firm tone. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know, Dina told me to go to that party and I had no one to talk to so maybe talking to her was the trick.” You halfway lied, it was true in a point but the other was just to distract your mind from Ellie.

“And you thought talking to Abby, which almost the entire town knows she has a crush on you, was the best way out. Right?” She groaned as she stood up and did her ponytail while rolling her eyes. You were confused, why was she making a big deal out of you only talking with Abby Anderson? Yeah she was popular but it wasn’t a big deal, not for you at least. “Wait are you fighting me for talking with her?” You asked, deeply concerned about the vibe Ellie was having.

“I’m not fighting you, I just I don’t like the way she randomly fucking texts me at one in the morning to mention me both of you talked on a room knowing I hate her.” She confessed, she looked so disgusted by the thought of you and Abby speaking, aside the fact she assumed it was something else you just didn’t understand.

“Wait. You’re assuming I fucked Abby and left crying?” You quickly understood, Ellie was jealous.

“You’re jealous” you confronted, as you widened your eyes on concern. “What? No im not, im not jealous of anything.” Ellie murmured as she dropped her hands and looked down at you with an annoyed expression. “You are jealous, why would you be so angry about me talking with Abby Anderson, yes I know you hate her, but I was just talking to her like any other human being just like you do too?” You mentioned, both of you knew that you hated people too, yet Ellie continues to speak with them normally, so what was the difference here?

“You’re just jealous.” You added as you looked at Ellie, trying to hold your laugh back.

“Okay so? What if I am? What now?” Ellie confessed as she rolled her eyes, annoyed at your lack of curiosity. “well… maaaaaybe THIS—” you yelled as you pushed her on the side of the bed, as you quickly got ontop of her and straddled her from above.

Ellie, fully off guard now tried to get off before reaching out and using her fingers to tickle you. She forcefully pushed you beside her as she rapidly climbed on top of you, now both of you start tickling and tugging each others arms and legs. Though, Ellie’s leg found a way between yours and every time you moved, your cunt brushed with the roughness of her jeans and the thinness of the shorts you were currently on.

Every time her leg brushes against your clit you whimper but try your best to cover it up with a giggle or poking her extra hard, but there was this one time that her leg brushed your now soaked cunt and you moaned her name uncontrollably loud.

“E-els.. fuuuck..—!” You moaned out. Ellie immediately stopped in her tracks. She looked at you with wide eyes.

"w-what did you say?" Ellie questions, fully confused and shocked by the sudden noise which came out of your mouth.

“Fuck.. your leg your- please take it off” You shut your eyes completely off as you tried to push her leg away softly, as she quickly noticed. “Oh shit- I’m so sorry fuck” Her face immediately flushed, embarrassed by not noticing this earlier. She got off of you and decided to go right to her closet and chance. And probably avoid you for some minutes.

You felt like your soul would rip out of you right there. You were so embarrassed and so soaked by her touch it was unbelievable. But before you know it, Ellie came back into some short basketball pants and a large T-shirt, with her face extremely flushed, standing over your side of the bed;

“I’m sorry about uh that, but if you feel uncomfortable I can sleep on the couch tonight-” she quickly spoke, trying to break the awkward silence between you too. You knew staying was gonna make you horribly guilty, maybe leaving was the best option.

“Nono it’s fine, I think I’ll go home. Talk to you some other time, els?” You responded, softly standing up and getting your things, you could notice her face looked like if she felt the same way too. God why was it so embarrasing? Was it your dramatic and loud moaning or the fact you liked her that had you this way, and even worse what was Ellie thinking? Your head felt dizzy of how much you kept overthinking. Years of hiding your feelings towards Ellie felt like they were thrown and drained by this simple mistake.

- -

You were at your apartment. Overthinking the situation over and over, your mind was all fuzzy and you felt so bad about yourself. Was your friendship with Ellie gone now? Would she see you differently? God would she tell anyone about that? So many thoughts and questions running through every inch of your body you didn’t know what to do. No notifications from her, no calls, nothing. It was 2 in the morning and you couldn’t sleep at all. Maybe if you got Ellie a present or some chocolates and apologize it’ll all work out?

So that’s what you did. You drove over to an open 24 hour gas station, and look over something that might cheer Ellie up. That’s when you found a CD on the movie section. It was Game of Thrones. You’ve never seen the film but you do remember Ellie yapping about wanting to see it but not being able to afford HBO Max. This and some chocolates will do.

You were at Ellie’s apartment door. Afraid of entering, knocking or even the thought of opening it. You took a big breath and let it out as a huge sigh, grabbing the doorknob to gently open it. You and Ellie had the trust of just opening your doors without hesitation so, you did.

“Els, I got you a present, and I miss you so uh yea..” you spoke as you tried searching for Ellie everywhere. No response from her though, she wasn’t on her usual spot on the living room, neither on the couch or bathroom. That’s when you walked softly through the hallway and heard rough grunting and moaning coming from Ellie’s room. You quickly stopped. Was she with someone this quickly? Who was she fucking? Just the thought of Ellie’s hands roaming around someone’s body made your heart ache. Being jealous wasn’t the right thing now, but leaving didn’t felt either.

Her door wasn’t even fully closed, was it a sign to come in? The curiosity killed you inside. you’ll get so killed for this, but you need to know. And so, you slowly walked to her door, just a peek of the girls she’s fucking will do. Shit. You couldn’t see a thing, if you opened her door hard enough they’ll notice. So you tried to gently and softly move the door a little, just to take a quick peek at Ellie and whoever was at her room. That’s when you heard Ellie grunt your name and your eyes widened.

“Fuck.. jus’ like that.” Ellie grunted as you noticed she wasn’t fucking anyone but herself. Her hands tightly wrapped around a sex toy as she used her strap to fuck it aggressively. Your face immediately became red. You’ve never heard Ellie nor seen her act like this. You couldn’t move, neither did you felt like leaving, why was watching her fuck herself felt so good? you’ve always thought of Ellie as caring, a loser girlfriend who’d take you to Walmart since she has no idea what your favorite mall is or sing you a lullaby before you’d sleep.

Ellie kept grinding on, moaning and breathing heavily as she kept groaning at the toy, repeatedly saying your name; she was fucking herself to the thought of you. You felt so needy, you could swear you could feel your urging cunt’s pulse. Soaked by the view, needing to be the one below Ellie right now, not that toy. Without taking your eyes off Ellie, you lowered your free hand, teasing your cunt though your pants. Staring firmly at Ellie, resisting to blink and miss any detail. You pressed your clit harshly, biting your lip to avoid moaning or leaving any noises to expose you.

Desperately, you unbuttoned your jeans, slipping your hand below your panties as you felt just how fucking soaked you were by staring at Ellie fuck herself. You sighed at the feeling, softly rubbing and playing with your clit, trying your best to follow Ellie’s movements. Feeling the need for more, you slipped two fingers inside of you, uncontrollably moaning at the feeling of your walls tightening, immediately shutting your eyes.

Ellie quickly stopped, she could’ve sworn she heard a moan. She looked over at the half opened door, noticing how you touched yourself just by looking at her, she parted her lips, staying agape at the view of you. She covered her toy and rapidly unbuckling her strap, throwing it on the other side of the bed as she came over to you. Shocked by it, you took your hand off of your pants and walked in with the CD.

“I… I’m sorry I shouldn’t have come over, but I uh got you this.” You handed her the cd as you couldn’t help but to share at her soaked boxers.

“How long have you…. Um y’know been staring there?” Ellie asked as she looked at you, speaking with a lower tone than the usual. You were too horny for this, you quickly pushed Ellie to her bed, getting on top of her. “S-shit hey what are you—” Ellie groaned as you interrupted her with a kiss. You knew this friendship was gonna lead to something or nothing, might as well risk it now, right? The kiss was very deepened by now, your lips felt numb to the point you didn’t even know how to think clearly. Your body was on fire and Ellie’s hands were exploring every inch of you. You couldn’t control yourself, just not anymore. Loudly moaning and whimpering was all you could do.

“F-fuck please lower your voice joel is gonna kill me for this.” Ellie groaned as she shut your mouth with her free hand, the other exploring through your pants as she pressed her thumb on your clit.

You groaned, your clit was so sensitive and so puffy by nothing, you needed her inside of you as quick as possible. Gently, you took Ellie’s hand out of your mouth as you lowered it to your breasts. “Els.. please I need you to fuck me s’bad..” you moaned as you looked at her hand on your pants, teasing you with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah baby, need me to fuck your little hole so bad?” Ellie mocked as she chuckled at how vulnerable you were; she loved this view. “Take this off.” She groaned, as she kissed you, unable to let you do any noise nor speak, needing you to obey. And so you did, you were now half naked with only your underwear and bra on. Ellie bit her lip as she stared at every inch of your body.

“Fuck… you look so gorgeous baby.” Ellie groaned lowly, not taking her eyes off of you. She quickly grabbed her strap that was beside her from earlier, buckling it under her boxers as she grabbed your thighs and separated them and got in between both to arrange herself right into your needy cunt. “You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting this.” She sighed as she gently caressed your soaked cunt through your panties, rubbing softly your clit as she then grabbed your panties and slid them to the side, wanting to have a better view of you before fucking you. “So wet for me baby, already?” She smirked, licking her fingers as she rubbed your clit in gentle circles, looking how you took her so good, whimpering and jolting at the bare minimum. You couldn’t bare this feeling, you shut your eyes fast, needing to savor this moment you’ve been waiting for. That’s when you felt Ellie’s strap slowly getting inside of your tight walls, so long and thick, making your cunt feel so full of her. “F-fuuuuuckkk….!” You moaned as your eyes widened in shock, just looking how good your pussy was with her fucking you slowly, getting you to enjoy every little movement she’d do to you before going rough.

And Ellie enjoyed this, the need to tease you before dumb fucking you, seeing you so weak and needy for her strap it was incredible. “Wait wait please els go faster s’good…” you whimpered, these slow motion was making feel your cunt’s pulse, a strange feeling but felt so good. And before you knew it, Ellie pushed her strap more inside of you, now doing faster and rougher movements to hurry your ecstasy. “Fuck fuck fuck els els—” you immediately rolled your eyes back, grabbing the bed sheets as hard as you could. You could feel your walls tightening around Ellie’s strap, close to coming down from your high. The strap kept jumping on and twitching on Ellie’s clit, enjoying the view and the feeling, you could listen to her huffs and groaning, just felt so right. “You’re close aren’t you my love?” Ellie smiled, adoring the way you looked on her strap, how close you were into relieving the stress and desperation of being actually noticed by Ellie. Not as your best friend, but as something else. And you could’ve sworn, that even if Ellie didn’t liked you back, you would prefer of being her fuck doll than just keeping your feelings hidden for much longer. “Fuck fuck fuck…..—!!” You moaned loudly, releasing your ecstasy and coming from your fuzzy high, cumming into Ellie’s strap as she pushed deeper, making sure her entire cunt felt your wet slick. “Yessss fuuuuck, jus’ like that, good girl.” She sighed as she softly rubbed your puffy clit. Softly pulling her strap away, you couldn’t help but to move your hips involuntarily to follow her strap. Feeling so empty and so needier.

“Els..” you couldn’t help but to sob. “What is it baby?” Ellie asked as she wiped your tears off, laying beside you as she gently grabbed your waist to pull you on her chest, cuddling you up to make you feel better. “Did you not like it?” She added as she kissed your cheek.

“I like you, I’ve liked you for so long els I… I wanna be with you, I want you to love me.” You whispered on her ear, too weak to yell, cry or to even do the minimum effort into confessing when you felt your heart beating so hard you felt you’d die right there.

“It’s okay, I like you too. But let’s talk about this later, you need to rest. WE need to rest.” She assured you, as she caressed your cheeks, placing your head on her chest as she gently rubbed your back, using her free hand to get her dinosaur blanket and cover both of you up.

[novvabee]

The Boys in the Band

AN: I got carried away with this one, but here is the second part to the band au

word count: 2.8k

cw: language? there is nothing really bad about this one.

Since your first show, you had been quite busy. You had opened for a couple bands at The Common Room, you booked a few nights at the popular club, The Hog’s Head, and managed to snag a spot in another festival. You had become popular very quickly amongst the girls, gays, theys, and young people in the city. Each gig you noted more and more fans, crowds growing, singing so loud and dancing so hard. 

This is what you always dreamed of, performing and making people happy. You lived for the drama and theatrics of it all, dressing up on stage and singing your heart out. The girls felt the same electricity, the same passion as you. That made your bond as a group that much stronger.

Not to mention, you were all good friends. Lily had mentioned to you that she and Mary had been messing around and found out they actually sounded really good together. Then they asked Marlene if she would play drums, which she said yes to in a heartbeat. And then Lily realized they needed a front woman, someone who could sing and bring the most energy. She thought of you, your bold and fierce attitude, your flirty and fun personality. And that is how you started.

The four of you wrote all the music you performed; the fun and girly songs by Mary, the campy over-the-top songs about women by Marlene, the sad and slow ballads by yourself, and the thought provoking and experimental ones by Lily.

Mary had the upbeat, girly, pop songs down. Her personality just flowed with inspiration for them, so those were the types of songs that you mostly sang and performed. You weren’t complaining, her songs were half the fun.

Marlene was full of something you all liked to tease her about; lesbian angst. But all that angst made for great songs to perform and were usually the crowd favorites.

Lily was slightly different, she was full of thoughts and ideas about the world, and her medium to get them out of her brain and into the world, was through music and lyrics. She wrote a lot of songs for women, for rights for all and for political change. If you had to pick, you would say hers were by far your favorites. She didn’t write often, but when she did, she had a message, something to say. You loved that about her.

Your songs were all ballads and sad. The girls teased you about that too, saying you shouldn’t let a man make you cry. It wasn’t exactly your fault, you had just gotten out of a long term relationship, and were drawing inspiration from all the confusing, mixed feelings that came with that. 

You had been dating this boy, Matthew, for about a year and a half, but everything seemed to take a turn for the worse a couple months ago. Your once sweet and charming boyfriend had turned into this cold, vacant man right in front of you. You two argued all the time, about small things as well as very important, serious things. He started accusing you of sneaking around, hiding things from him, cheating on him. None of it was true, and you tried to tell him that, but he wouldn’t listen to reason.

So you had enough. You told him that if you two couldn’t work things out, you didn’t know if you could continue on. He said nothing, just agreed with you. He didn’t try to mend the broken relationship, didn't try to fight either for you or with you. You would’ve taken either, but he just walked away.

As much as you tell yourself you’re doing so much better, that you have moved on and don’t care about him anymore, that isn’t exactly true.

You leaned into the band to distract yourself, putting everything you had in it so that you wouldn’t be left with those feelings. You’re just glad you had your friends, your girls who not only could help you through it, but also help you see this band through. They ignited you.

You felt that way even just sitting on the floor of Mary’s apartment. The space was cute and cozy. You girls were sprawled out over fluffy rugs, a plush couch, and two oversized bean bags. 

Mary was nodding her head along to a beat that only she could hear, writing down what you could only guess were new lyrics. Lily was strumming a tune she had been working on for over a week. You and Marlene were talking about what to wear for your upcoming show. 

“I think you'd look good in that pink leotard with the matching cowgirl boots.” Marlene recommended.

“The pink tassels or the pink heart?” you asked.

She thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up. “The tassels, that way you can wear the boots and maybe a cowboy hat,” she paused looking at the other two, “maybe we can try out Pink Pony?”

Excited, you clapped your hands together. You had been dying to perform this new song in front of a crowd and this was the perfect opportunity. You were playing at The Common Room again, but this time it was only you. Unlike every other performance you had, this time there were no openers, and no one else after you. You got a whole set for yourselves and the whole night to perform and party with fans.

The night was going to be nothing short of magical.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

James followed Remus and Sirius into the stage door of The Common Room.

All three boys wanted to come and see the performance that The Pixies were giving tonight. They had gained a lot of traction recently, seemingly overnight.

James didn’t feel at all jealous or threatened, they were doing just as well themselves, and they made entirely different music. He was more curious as to the fact that this band came out of nowhere.

The Marauders were used to competition revolving around the music world. They had been doing this for a while now, they understood the fight to fill spots and book sets. This band was just another contender now.

James was more frequently used to The Snakes stealing their gigs or spots in festivals, but now even they were pushed aside for this new band. The Snakes was led by Sirius’s little brother Regulus, another person on the list James hadn’t spoken to in a while. James knew that Regulus was a grudge holder, hell, he was related to Sirius, so he shouldn’t be surprised that Regulus cut all contact.

He fucked up, he knew he did. But he still wasn’t ready to think about it.

Slipping through the crowd and continuing to follow as best he could, all three boys ended up in the back of the already packed room. 

“Holy shit,” Sirius began, “there are so many people. How much were tickets?” He asked Remus.

Remus answered with a head shake. “Don’t know, Lily told me to come in through the back door so we wouldn’t have to pay.”

James’s stomach sunk, maybe he shouldn’t have come. Lily didn’t even invite him, he just tagged along with Remus. But, she had to have known that would happen, right? The boys didn’t do anything or go anywhere without each other.

“Oh my god! Hi,” came a voice from a girl to his right. “You’re The Marauders right? I love you guys. I’ve been to, like, a bunch of shows.” James recognized this girl. She was always front row or close enough, always giving Sirius a look that showed she wanted to fuck him, or at least become a groupie. “Could I get a pic?” she asked.

Sirius smirked. “Course you can sweetheart.” he said while she handed her phone to someone she was with. She stood between Remus and Sirius for the photo, then thanked the boys, obviously wanting the interaction to continue. 

James did not. He would look like such an asshole taking pictures with fans at Lily’s show.

The thought was cut short when the house lights dimmed and the stage turned a hazy pink color. James lost every thought in his head when you came out on stage.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Walking out onto the stage, you were met by a wall of sound, cheers and screams. Your nerves and butterflies instantly fluttered away. This is where you were meant to be, up here on this stage, in front of a crowd, making music. You had dreamed of this since you were a little girl.

You pranced yourself out in a cowboy hat and high heel boots, a matching sparkly and intricately tasseled leotard to top it all off. Your ass may be out, but that was the fun of it, the aesthetic. Especially for the new song you had prepared for the night. 

“Hello my friends.” you said, the cheers and screams somehow getting even louder. “We are The Pixies,” you introduced, “and we are here to give you the night of your life.”

You looked around the crowd to see so many faces enhanced with intricate and beautiful makeup looks, so many fans copying looks from your previous performances, so many bodies in bright colors. So many people who felt confident in what they were wearing and how they looked. 

“We’re gonna start off with a new one if that’s ok with you.” You announced you got an astounding amount of cheers, noting many phones launch into the air to record this new one. “This song is a fun one but more importantly,” you paused, the whole crowd hanging on your breath, “it is about what my mother thinks I am doing with my life. Here is Pink Pony Club!”

The girls started playing the intro and you walked to the front of the stage, sitting down, legs dangling off.

I know you wanted me to stay

But I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA

And I heard that there's a special place

Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

You stood, walking back to center stage.

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee

Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me

Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream

You whipped around to the audience

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

You started dancing and jumping around stage, Lily and Mary joining you, smiles plastered on their faces

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

The audience had settled into the performance, had gotten into the groove of the song, and joined in the dancing and the fun.

I'm up and jaws are on the floor

Lovers in the bathroom and a line outside the door

Blacklights and a mirrored disco ball

Every night's another reason why I left it all

I thank my wicked dreams a year from Tennessee

Oh, Santa Monica, you've been too good to me

Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

The crowd was going crazy, right along with you, until you slowed down and the girls played quieter for the bridge.

Don't think I've left you all behind

Still love you and Tennessee

You're always on my mind

And mama, every Saturday

I can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away, saying

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

You jumped up and danced like crazy, the crowd joining in, loving this new song. Some picked up on the lyrics and were singing them back to you, the feeling indescribable.

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing

I'm gonna keep on dancing

You kept dancing as Lily and Mary played the outro, out of breath and so happy. Once the song was finished, the whole building was filled with cheering. You looked to Mary, then over to Lily, they looked just as ecstatic, you could imagine Marlene felt the same. 

“Thank you, thank you!” you said into the mic. “Well, if you like that Common Room, we’re just getting started.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

James had never seen a concert, a band like yours. There was no way to describe it, you were just, stars already. 

The rest of the concert was filled with just as much fun, joy as the first song. The dancing and singing and laughing was indescribable. 

The boys waited after the concert, waited until the last of the fans trickled out, then they made their way backstage. Walking down the halls and to the dressing room that had a piece of paper with the word “Pixies” in bold letters, Remus knocked on the door. 

The giggling and sounds of excitement were radiating from the room, loudly even with the door shut.

They waited for a moment before the door pulled open, revealing Mary. The smile dropped from her face for a moment before she put another one in its place, this one though, was more of an uncomfortable grimace more than anything. “Hey! I didn’t know you guys were here.” Mary said, opening the door to let the boys slide through. She hugged each of them on their way in.

James made eye contact with Lily who was on the couch with Marlene. She didn’t break away. He quickly looked over to Marlene and smiled. “We wanted to come and say great show!” he said, directed at them all, but not being able to look away from Marlene, who just smirked, knowing the situation and that James was incredibly uncomfortable right now.

“Thanks.” Marlene replied smoothly. 

Sirius noted the tension and decided to break it. “Where is she?” he asked.

All eyes went to him as Mary asked “Y/N?”

He looked at her and rolled his eyes, “No, the queen.” he said sarcastically.

“Are you going to try to sleep with her?” Mary asked, not holding back.

“What, no!” Sirius denied as if it wasn’t exactly something Sirius would do. “I just want to meet her. ‘Know thy enemy’ and all that.”

Lily scoffed. “She’ll be out in a minute, I think she's taking off her makeup.”

And as if right on que, you waltzed right out of the connected bathroom and into the dressing room. Smiling, you looked at the boys standing across from the couch. 

“Here she is!” Mary ushered you over, chipper and still energized from the performance. “This is Y/N, Y/N these are the boys in The Marauders.”

Your smile grew. “The Marauders? You guys were amazing at the festival.”

Sirius smiled back at you, charming as ever. “‘I'm Sirius.” you looked to the next boy, who was glancing at a fuming Lily.

“Uh, I’m James.” He smiled, seeming to come back to reality and out of whatever thought he was lost in. 

You looked at the final boy, tall and leaning against the wall. “And you’re Remus, right?” you asked.

He nodded. “Yeah we met a while back, lovely to see you again.”

“Lovely to see you! And it is lovely to finally meet you two.” you said to the newly acquainted Sirius and James, they nodded and smiled politely. There was a noticeable tension between everyone in the room, was there really that much of a rivalry?

“I think the boys were just heading out,” Mary said to the three boys standing in front of her. “Isn't that right?”

Sirius huffed and led the other two out throwing a “See you all soon.” over his shoulder as Mary escorted and followed them out into the hallway, shutting the door beyond her.

“That was… strange.” you said to Lily and Marlene. They just looked at each other and laughed, rolling their eyes. You didn’t understand.

“They're idiots.” Marlene supplied.

“They're boys.” Lily corrected.

Taglist 💌:  @adharalikethestar @mayuwolfstar @ieatboysalive @maraudereestauderelb @bugg06 @slytherinambitious (yell at me if I forgot anyone)

[sadesluvr]

RIVERDANCE

The one where you hook up with Chad at a college party.

(Chad Meeks-Martin x Reader)

A/N: A long awaited Chad fic inspired by a recent album! Songs for ambience: One Dance - Drake, These Walls - Kendrick Lamar + RIVERDANCE - Beyoncé.

Word count: 2K

Tags: SMUT / College! Reader / Alcohol use / Cowgirl (Position) / Moments of fluff / Reader is in control and we love it!

The fading sound of a Drake song signalled yet another three minutes were down, creeping closer to the end of the party. Some were tired, some were horny, and some, especially in your case, were turnt. The turquoise and orange lights of the house party were euphoric; making you feel as if you were in a club, rather than a gritty frat house, and your grip on the signature red paper cups hadn’t wavered.

“Fuck, Y/N you haven’t stopped!” Mindy commented, a smirk on her face as she looked you up and down. Any other day you would’ve taken it as a flirtation but given the fact that she was sitting next to her girlfriend - much more the fact you were dressed like Daisy Duke - seemed unlikely. “Save some for the rest of us!”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you began to sway to a distantly familiar song.

“And waste it on two lesbians on a couch? I don’t think so!”

“Touché,” Anika remarked, and your eyes brightened, immediately outstretching your arms towards her.

“Come on, you’ve been sitting all night. Dance with me!” you begged, and she gave a sweet, but strained frown.

“We prefer to be bystanders,” she said, before glancing over at Mindy and lowering her voice. “I said I’d dance with you, but Mindy’s been keeping me hostage!”

“Mindy!”

“What? I’m doing my brother a favour. I don’t want him to get all jealous,” the short haired girl said, shrugging as she sipped her beer.

“Jealous?” you said, feigning ignorance as you got closer.

“Babe, he’s got a massive crush on you,” Anika said exasperatedly. “And don’t act like you don’t know, we saw the two of you earlier…”

Earlier. What had happened earlier? Soft grinding and an exchange of drinks, of course. Chad Meeks-Martin was Mindy’s twin brother, a star athlete and basically one of the hottest guys in Blackmore.

You’d met him at a mixer at the start of the year, but it had been a cat and mouse game ever since that point. It was almost unfathomable how instantly the attraction had occurred - you’d simply locked eyes from across the room, and the rest had been history.

Momentarily, you were transported back to the beginning of the night, how you’d felt the boys dark brown eyes roam up and down your body, transfixed to the way you grooved to the beat. Your back had been tightly pressed against his chiselled torso as you grinned your ass against his pelvis, looking back at him from the corner of your eye. He hadn’t flinched; merely securing his hands on your waist and rolling his hips back, all through a delighted chuckle. He was going to be yours by the end of the night.

“It means nothing until he says something.” you shrugged.

“You know how Chad is, he’s just waiting for the right time…” Anika said, gazing off into the distance and perking up as she spotted a figure coming towards where you were sat. Speaking of —“

It was Chad; all six foot and shirtless of him, dressed in nothing more than a pair of jeans, large belt and a cowboy hat, fitted with a bandana around his neck. He smirked, walking through the room with ease, and placing a hand gently on your shoulder, looking onto the two girls on the couch.

“Excuse me — ‘Nika, Mindy…Mind if I borrow Y/N here?”

“She’s all yours Romeo,” Mindy smirked, dropping her feet from on top of the coffee table. “Behave, and lock the door. We don’t want to have to spend tomorrow explaining the birds and the bees to Ethan…”

The pair of you chuckled before you granted them a small goodbye. Chad pulled you off into a quieter corner of the room, eyes slightly glossy as he stared at you.

“So, uh, how’re you getting home?” he said softly, clearing his throat.

“I live ten minutes away,” You snickered, adjusting your posture so that you crossed your arms in-front of your chest, lending Chad a decent view of your chest. “I’m sure my legs are fine.”

“So you won’t mind if I walk you? I give great piggyback rides, y’know…” he replied, a small smile growing at the ends of his lips.

“ ‘You sure you’re done here?”

“I don’t see anything else I wanna do…”

There was a brief silence.

“Really?” You hummed. “I just figured it was kinda early…”

Chad laughed, and ran his fingers across his chin, biting his lip as he drank you in. He’d been wanting you since the first college mixer, odd considering the fact that he could practically have any girl he wanted. Why had he waited until now to make a move?

Even amidst his alcohol induced haze and excessive head bashing his only conclusion was that he was somewhat of a coward, plagued by the idea that his next relationship could kill him. Whilst Woodsboro was on his mind, he was thankful he’d waited this long. You’d basically dry humped within the first ten minutes of the party.

“So you’re a party girl, huh?”

“Always have been.”

“Why don’t we take this little party of ours upstairs? It’s pretty dry down here anyway.” Chad said with a smirk. You certainly weren’t going to disagree, and so you pushed yourself up off the wall and took the lead up the oh-so infamous stairs. Everybody knew what ‘going upstairs’ meant, and you weren’t oblivious to the way that some girls – and a few guys – gave you the stink eye as you disappeared into the soft light, and away from the hustle of downstairs.

You pushed gently on one of the many doors, opening to an empty bedroom, fitted with red bed sheets and ripped band posters on the wall. It certainly wasn’t much, but you weren’t exactly there for the scenery. Locking the door shut, you glanced at Chad through your lashes before slowly making your way over to the bed where he stood, silent, but telling. The tension was palpable; the rhythmic thuds from the music downstairs seemingly beating in time to your hearts.

Chad began to take off his hat, but you stopped him.

“Nuh-uh, cowboy,” you hummed. “Keep it on...”

It was then that you kissed. Chad’s lips were soft, tasting faintly of cocoa butter as they danced along your own glossy ones; his tongue immediately finding yours as he explored your mouth. Your bottom lip grazed the boy’s scar – something you’d always been aware of, but clueless about – and you shuddered at its rugged edges against your own skin, briefly wondering how the rough texture would feel against the wet lips of your pussy.

Letting out a soft moan, you pushed against his body, sending him toppling backwards onto the bed, with you on top. Chad’s chest was heaving as you pulled away, and his brown eyes were wide and full of lust as he watched you kiss down his stomach, paying close attention to his carved six pack as your nails lightly grazed his skin. You stopped at the silver buckle of his jeans and squeezed his bulge, smirking as you locked eyes with him.

“Your nails look so fucking good on my dick, baby,” he moaned, his voice slightly husky. “Take it out...”

“Now?” you giggled, shaking your head. “We don’t have time for that. I wanna get out of here before the night is done.”

“So what? I’m just a fling to you?” he said amusedly.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you hummed. “Depends on if you can handle me...” Skilfully, you unzipped his jeans and slipped his cock through the buttoned hole of his boxers, exposing his hard cock to the cool air.

Chad’s length was impressive; bordering on six inches with a decent girth, wrapped up with a short, but prominent vein along its side. You tugged at him eagerly, nodding at him before looking at the bedside table and nodding at the drawer.

“Condom.” you said, and he pouted playfully.

“Baby...You know it doesn’t feel the same...” he whined, pushing the drawer open with one hand, keeping his focus entirely on you.

“It also won’t feel the same when I have to move in with you and Ethan so we can raise a kid.”

Chad grumbled and rolled his eyes, more than happy to oblige. He wanted a mini-Chad of his own but didn’t feel like getting a lecture from Mindy on making her an aunt anytime soon. Besides, he was with you – he was more than willing to wait.

Taking the condom off him, you hurriedly rolled it on before sliding your shorts and panties to the side, his thick head slipping into your wet folds with ease. You both let out a moan, and you savoured the moment, letting him stretch you out before you began to roll your hips, stabilising yourself by placing your hand on his chest. His large hands caressed your waist, holding you up as he ran his fingers along your sides, moving up to grope your tits through your cropped shirt, which was becoming dishevelled with every passing moment.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his teeth gnawing into his bottom lip. “You’re so good at this...Shit, you’re just swallowing me up...”

You smirked, shutting his rambles up by pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips before devilishly kissing down his chest and flicking at his nipple with your tongue, making him draw in a sharp breath and thrusting his hips up into you as punishment. The pressure was sensational, but you stood strong, determined to make it a night to remember. You were willing to take his soul, even.

Despite the dull ache of your knees, Chad’s groans were motivation for you to bounce your hips harder, the exposed areas of your skin colliding with his jeans as it produced an ungodly sound.

“That’s it, baby,” he cooed, lips wet and parted. “Bounce on this dick. Fuck, I wanna see that action back there...”

“Then feel it.” you said confidently, taking one of Chad’s hands and sliding it under your jeans, giving him a handful of your ass, which he groped and prodded at, sinking you further onto his cock, your juices beginning to drip down to groomed base and embedding itself in his hairs. The boy was so dumbfounded he barely noticed you sliding his hat off his head, placing it onto your own and throwing your head back in pleasure.

It felt as if the two of you were indulging in a perfect dance; where his thrusts responded to the swaying of your hips, where his hands roamed your body and made you hotter as your own kisses brought him back to reality. Alcohol be damned, the room swayed, and sounds became nothing but intoxicated gurgles, lost in the salvo of your passion.

“God, you’re perfect,” he lamented, his movements becoming more ragged. “My ‘lil cowgirl...”

“I’m all yours baby,” you smirked. “I always have been.”

Chad grinned, flashing his perfect whites before pulling you down on top of him so that your heaving chests were pressed against each other's, allowing you a moment of calm before you came; which, judging by the way you trembled and clenched around him, was imminent.

He came first; unable to hold his tongue as his healthy loads filled the condom whilst still managing to buck up into you, sending you into your own state of euphoria. You creamed around his cock, painting the latex in your clear juices and moulding yourself onto him forever, rendering yourself breathless as you buried your face into the crook on his neck, riding down from your high.

For a moment, time stood still, and it was just you and Chad alone, listening to each other's beating hearts as he held onto you by his arms wrapping around your waist protectively, and tracing small circles onto your back. You’d come back to earth, and you could both hear the dull thumping of music around you...and a knock on the door.

“Shit,” you said frantically, his voice hushed. “Ten bedrooms in this stupid house and they choose this one?”

Chad chuckled.

“I guess people have the same idea as us...” he said, fixing himself. “Let’s do this again, yeah? This time I’ll actually take you out on a date first!”

[yandere-writer-momo]

I just found out about your blog recently and I'm in loveee with your original fics, especially Predator and Prey & The Hands That Hold You, I love Char and Arielle 🥹 Big muscular women for life

Is it alright if I ask for some Sena Riko as a service top? 🥹

Yandere SSIR Short Stories:

Wait Till I’m Done

Yandere Sena Riko x Fem Reader

TW: Yandere, lesbian sex, oral (receiving for reader), overstimulation, jealousy, etc.

(Skin color) fingers tangled in blonde locks as a whimper escaped (your name)’s throat. Riko wriggled her pink muscle in and out of (your name)’s hole as her golden eyes peered up at her.

The poor young woman was dragged to the locker room the minute her girlfriend, Sena Riko, won her match. The muscular woman lifted (your name) up and pressed the smaller girl against the locker as she shoved her panties off to the side to feast. The skirts of (your name)’s dress hiked up to her waist while her legs rested on Riko’s bulky shoulders.

It’s been nearly twenty minutes since Riko began to eat her out like a starved animal, but poor (your name) was at her wit’s end. She felt so overstimulated from how many times Riko made her cum with that talented mouth. It wasn’t fair! Riko was always so mean…

“S-stop! You’re so mean!” (Your name) cried as her girlfriend continued to feast on her. Riko’s muscular hands held (your name)’s thighs firmly apart. There was no doubt in (your name)’s mind that Riko would leave finger shaped bruises all over her plus thighs after this… Riko was always so rough.

“Mean? Says the cute little princess who’s came four times and counting.” Riko gave a loud chuckle, her golden eyes never left (your name)’s once. Riko was like a lioness staring down a gazelle. A predator that kept its prey trapped beneath her jaw in an inescapable hold. Why did (your name) have to love such a powerful woman?

“P-please? I’m tired…”

“I don’t care, princess. Don’t I deserve a nice meal after my fight?” Riko chuckled between (your name)’s soaked folds. “You looked so fucking cute cheering for me… I tried to rush my fight just so I can put my head between your perfect legs. Seeing you shake and cry excited me more than anything. You’re so cute!”

(Your name) could only whimper when Riko teasingly ran her tongue down (your name)’s swollen clit once more. The salacious noises made (your name)’s head spin and her cheeks turn even pinker. The poor girl was already on the verge of another orgasmz

“W-what if someone walks in on us?” (Your name) meekly asked which earned her a chuckle from Riko.

“I hope they do. Then they’ll know exactly who fucks you. I can’t stand the way everyone looked at you like a piece of meat.. don’t they know you’re mine?!” Riko pulled away from (your name)’s damp entrance to show off the essence that coated her lips. “Now just wait until I’m done, princess. I’m still riding the high of my victory.”

(Your name) can only wrap her legs around Riko’s head as her fingers held onto Riko’s blonde locks for dear life. It seemed her girlfriend was jealous again… they were going to be here for a long while then.

[reorientation]

It's only been two days but I figured I'd come share one of my favorite fantasies here.

I want a cruel girlfriend who's a staunch lesbian, doesn't care for Men at all or want them touching her. But the moment she meets me, she instantly can tell how much my pussy drips at the thought of a Man using me as He pleases, despite my proudly worn label as a lesbian.

It doesn't happen quickly, for a while she treats me normally. Only involving fantasies about other women, only using her fingers and her mouth to make me cum, never doing anything out of the ordinary for a "lesbian" couple. Until she slowly starts incorporating more Male centric ideas into my head, she asks innocently if I'd mind trying to take a dildo during sex. I agree because it's not like it's actually a Man right?

Then she asks my opinion on her wearing a strap on, by this point she's almost entirely stopped going down on me. Our sex almost entirely comprises of fingering and her dildos that are steadily growing in size. I say yes to her using a strap on, because I love her and want to make her happy. She makes comments about how we're probably the straightest lesbian couple out there.

Before I've realized it, she's now only using a squirting strap on when we have sex. I don't top her at all anymore, I'm a complete pillow princess now. She doesn't finger me or rub my clit anymore, our foreplay entirely exists of her pushing me to my knees to suck her strap. She tells me how I'm suck a natural at having a cock in my mouth.

It isn't until a few weeks later that she truly starts breaking my brain. "This is what you've always wanted, isn't it? To be fucked on all fours by a thick cock about to turn you into a mommy. Maybe we should have a guy fuck you instead since it's what you crave." It's impossible for me to hold back my orgasm when she says that.

One day she blindfolds me and tells me it's just trying something new, I feel her filling my cunt in a way she never has before, almost like she's throbbing. I can't stop whimpering and letting out high pitched moans, it feels like she's gotten so much stronger since the last time we slept together.

I lose count of how much I cum, and she asks my barely there brain if I'd like to see a surprise. When she takes the blindfold off all I can see is not one, but three Men on our bed while she sits next to me, the one in front clearly the person who's been fucking me the whole time.

I'm terrified, I don't understand what's happening but she tells me it's okay, that she understands. I've been calling myself a lesbian this whole time when in reality my sexuality is whatever she wants it to be, and right now she wants me to be a hole for Men. I so obviously loved having a real cock filling me, and I shouldn't deny myself.

By the time the first Man cums inside of me I'm gone, I'm completely lost to cock, there's nothing I want more in life than to be filled and used by Men.

My girlfriend and I have stopped having sex now, anytime she's horny she goes out to find a real lesbian to fuck her, or she texts at least three Men telling them her dyke is begging for His cock again so she can watch me be broken over and over again.

She fills my head with ideas that all Men are better than me, they're entitled to my body because I'm so stupid. Because I shouldn't have been showing off my huge tits in such a tight shirt. Because I denied them access to my holes for so many years when I hadn't rubbed my cunt to girls since before I had met her. And I believe her.

Her favorite days are when I come home a complete mess, having obviously been raped by one of her friends on my way back. She even makes me call them when I touch myself, thanking them and begging for them to be more cruel next time.

I still love her and she still loves me, she just loves ruining me more. She still calls me her lesbian girlfriend, but we both know it's only because it makes Men extra aggressive when breaking me.

I've never been happier than being my girlfriend's ruined dyke.

- 🩵

I don't even think I need to add anything - except to say that this little broken dyke is a very good girl.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here