#been feeling sick the whole week and haven't gotten out to the store

[answrs]

[strangersteddierthings]

February 1

rating: G cw: none prompt: Love is letting someone take care of you

It wasn't a lesson Eddie learned easily, or all that willingly. No one had cared for him after his Mama had died. Not for a long time after.

He dad likes to pretend he'd tried. When Eddie was feeling generous, he'd even say he agreed. His parents were so in love it was almost sickening. Losing her must have broken the part of his Dad that knew how to love fully. He didn't turn mean, not like some dads did, but he definitely cared more about his next scheme than he did about the kid that looked too much like his Mama.

Wayne taught him that people who care about you take care of you. They take care of you when you're barely nine and have burned yourself on the stove twice this week, even if you think you should have learned after the first time. They take care of you when you've been caught stealing candy from Melvald's, and skipping school, and flunking senior year (and then doing that again), and even when people accuse you of murder.

Wayne has taught him that people that really, really love you are there when you need them, care for you when you need them.

And Eddie's heart aches that no one seems to have taught Steve that.

Eddie's trying. He steps in to help with "babysitting" duties, especially when Steve looks particularly run down. He started inserting himself into the Platonic Soulmate thing Steve and Robin have going because he wants to be an established replacement Temporary Soulmate while Robin's at college. (Being fair, this was Robin's suggestion. She's worried about how he'll be when she's not around to look after him.)

He's started hanging out with Steve without Robin, too. They get along well, it turns out. Eddie loves to talk and Steve loves to listen. But, more importantly, Eddie's good at getting Steve to talk. As a rule in general, Eddie isn't a good listener, but he could listen to Steve read him the phone book and never be bored. He tries to take an interest in Steve's hobbies. He doesn't have the hand/eye coordination for basketball, or the lungs for swimming laps, but he does have the energy to keep going even when he's bad at those things.

Steve seems to appreciate it, if the soft smiles he gives Eddie is any indication.

And it's not all up hill. Steve's got hangups that seem to crop up when he thinks he's failed at something. He's got a quick temper but it's never physical anger. He's only ever yelled at Eddie twice, and being fair, that first was deserved. Eddie's pushed too far, in his desire to help, not knowing the limit yet.

Eddie gets pissy, too, he's no saint, either.

There's been no fight they haven't gotten through, though.

But the lesson, the thing Wayne was really trying to teach him, comes when Steve gets sick.

No one but Robin has ever seen him sick. She's off at college now and it's just Eddie, fumbling to make soup and not dribble water down Steve's front while he holds the glass Steve is too weak to and Eddie forgot to get some straws at the store.

Steve tried to get him to leave only once. It was the third day in a row Eddie was there.

"You don't have to be here, you know," Steve had whispered, throat still feeling like he ate glass.

Eddie just met his eye and gave a small smile, "I do know."

Steve looks surprised, which is ridiculous, because he had to of known the answer Eddie would give. But then that surprise softens to a new look. Sappier, eyes a bit wetter, and Steve must not want him to see because his whole face scrunches with how quickly he shuts his eyes.

Eddie sets the sleeve of saltines down on the night stand and reached for Steve's hand. Just to give it a squeeze.

He finds he can't take his hand back when Steve tangles their fingers together and drags their joined hands to his face, where Steve rests his feverish forehead against Eddie's hand.

Steve teaches him that, yes, love is caring for someone. But sometimes, it's also letting someone else take care of you.

-

@steddielovemonth @i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt. 3

Synopsis: One where things get messy but Patience is a virtue

Series Masterlist | More of my work

YN was nervous.

Very nervous to talk to Harry. He haven't got to see her because of her finals, apart from checking up on her through calls and texts. But her convocation is tomorrow and she's got a doctor's appointment for the 12th week.

She's started to show up pretty prominently now, especially to herself.

He's going to be excited, that's bound to be. He's also going to ask if he can feel the baby, though there's a doubt there's anything to feel and that inevitable that he won't ask that. YN's been feeling very uncomfortable in her body lately. Especially when she's gained a little weight. Healthy weight. But on the video call the other day her step mother was the first and very excited to point that out. That caused her father to ask her questions but nothing made him suspicious about anything.

But YN's also gotten obsessed her little baby bump. She should get used to this because she'll have to leave the little one growing in her womb. Which is not something she's really looking forward to. Her friends have been bugging her wanting to touch her belly, which she doesn't really have a problem with but she also doesn't want to be touched. Especially when she's been insecure about her body lately.

It's not the first time. But she's learnt a way to over come it and be confident in who she is and how she is.

Anyway she got into her knock off branded Adidas sweats, an old T-shirt and her dad's jerkin she stole years ago before she was on her way down stairs.

To her surprise, Harry came to pick her alone today. No Jeremy.

"Hey!" Harry beamed watching her get in the passenger seat.

"Hi." She smiled back as she buckled up her seat belt.

"How are you doing? Been long since I saw you." He pulled out of the parking spot, headed to the way of maternity clinic for her scheduled check up.

"I've been good." She shared, "morning sickness here and there, but I'm doing good."

"Why didn't you tell me, YN?" He scolded, lowkey.

"Is there anything you can do about morning sickness?"

"We would have figured something out." He looked pissed now, sort of, "or I could have called Dr. Wilson to see if there is something we can do."

"It's fine, Harry, I'll ask her about it today." She sighed in defeat.

YN have been feeling way too emotional lately. She cried last night because there was no milk for her tea at midnight. Poor Josh had to make a run to the grocery store last minute. Now she usually doesn't cry but she can't help it lately. And she felt bad for even letting her friend go out in middle of the night to get her some milk.

She sat there in silence the whole ride to the clinic, waiting for their turn. Just lost in her own thoughts.

What is she even doing?

Her dad is going to be upset with her, even though she's sure he'll come around and make peace with it. But disappoint someone who's always been so kind and loving and patient with her, her whole entire life?

It is going to be inevitable to hide from him. As her cousin is getting married just two and half months after she's due for delivery. And she has to be there because she's really close the cousin who's getting married. It js hard being around her relatives as it is, and her changed appearance is going to cause a lot of questions.

The truth is going to raise a lot of eyebrows towards her character. No one will understand why she's done what she's done. Nor does she expects anyone to. It's just that she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle all of this.

And surely her step mother is going to be using this against her. She has to tell her father before he hears it from someone else.

It was going to be just like when she started therapy at the age of thirteen. People in her family thought she was going mental. She really had to pull out of it because the bickering and gossiping was getting too much.

And it wasn't like therapy was working for her either way.

Loss of her own mother and her dad marrying again withing two years, shocked her. But she's made peace with it all now. Or has she really?

"YN?" Harry gentle touch on her shoulder brought her back to earth.

"Yes?" She gasped, "is it my turn?"

"No it's not. Not yet." Harry looked st her concerned, "YN, hey love, is everything okay?"

She realised she was crying again, "yeah, everything is fine." She assured him, laughing softly to make the vibe lighter around her. "I'm getting very emotional lately."

"That's okay." He rested his hand on her back, "you can talk to me if anything is bothering you, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "I just can't help it. I'm sorry!"

"Hey, come here." He cooed as he pulled her into a warm hug, "it's okay, you can cry. You sure there's nothing bothering you?"

"Mhmm." She lied.

"Okay. We have to wait ten minute, just a little heads up for you." He whispered to her. And she swore she felt a feathery kiss being placed on her hair!

"I'm going to ruin your white shirt, my mascara is not waterproof." She sniffled pulling away politely from him.

The bare minimum is gonna get her in deep trouble here!

He just nodded and sat there. Soon enough ut was her turn. Everything was fine, the baby is growing perfectly, YN's healthy too. No complications as well. Well, her tiny bump was no longer secret to Harry. He didn't say anything though.

And they got new pictures!

"Hey, are you mad?" She asked when they reached his car in the car park.

"No, I'm happy that the baby and you are healthy." He looked at her confusedly and concerned. "Let's go to my place, yeah? We can talk it over lunch. Just not here."

"Yeah."

......................................................................

His place looked slightly different.

YN's been to his house just a couple of times. Very humble looking for a millionaire. Just a four bedroom, three story house in a quiet and gated community.

She was very nervous to go to his house the first time when he asked her to meet him there for their agreement. She was also very intimidated by him the first time.

He stood almost a feet taller than her, bulky with his piercing green eyes and serious look. He is always wearing suits, which added to the intimidating vibes. YN found out he's got dimples just about few weeks ago!

Turns out he's a real softie in reality.

YN was very nervous obviously. She looked tired and shaken up. Desparate for help.

Now that he thinks behind he was too harsh on her. Like way too harsh. Interviewing her like he's going to hire her to hold all of his secrets to the grave. Part of him wanted to know all about her because the surrogacy thing doesn't allow him to read much about the personal choices she makes which may affect his future child.

Now, YN had partial idea of what she was getting herself into. She was stood in front of a giant front door to a fucking mansion. Shiny and expensive looking door handle. Two expensive looking pots with actual live plants in them on either side of the door.

She missed the huge dog by the gate which had two security guards dresses in all black who checked her stuff before she was allowed past the gates. She could see the flecks of what was the back yard from the side of his mansion.

Not realising she was stood there for more that several minutes as the door was opened even before she could get s chance to ring the door bell. There he stood, dresses in a baby blue shirt with a white sheer button down underneath it, a black Gucci belt held the pants to on his upper hips, a gold buckle on it. His shirt was partially open with a display of silver cross necklace he wore, and flecks of his chest hair. He stood about a foot or half taller than her there. Piercing green eyes and lucious eye lashes. Straight a prominent nose with lips of the softest shade of pink she has ever seen.

She shook off her thoughts knowing there is 98% chance he's married, wanting kids with his wife or husband or spouse.

"Hi, please come in." He stepped aside so she can get in.

YN clutched onto handles of her bag hung over her shoulders tightly as she walked in. She was expecting the partner to show up any time. She was more nervous for that. Harry asked her to take a seat as he walked in the kitchen asking if she would like anything to drink.

"Just water please." She shared. It didn't take him long to come back out with a glass of cold water and a mug of black coffee for himself. It was almost six in the evening and he was having a coffee.

YN was already sat, carefully on the expensive looking leather sofa clutching onto her bag for her dear life. She's never been this nervo before. Not even for her job interviews. She worked as a teacher at a pre-school for now and worked a second job on weekends and even on week days if she got time. She even saw a green and black files lying on the coffee table with a fancy looking pen.

"So you're really sure you want to do this, Ms. YLN?" He asked.

"Please, call me YN." She said nervously, "and ummm, aren't we going to wait for your partner..." She dragged out the word trying to figure out right words, "... spouse?"

"We won't have to, because I don't have one." He set his coffee mug down. "These are the agreements you can take this and read it please. And we'll work from there."

"That's it?" She was shocked. "You called me all the way here for this?" And now she's confused, because she already agreed to the online agreement she signed on the surrogacy site.

"You might wanna read that, Ms. YLN." He pointed out.

"Yeah, yes, I, I am gonna read it. Obviously." She still couldn't stop stuttering. "I thought you had me over because you wanted to ask few things, that's what your manager told me." She was very scared in that moment.

"Yes, but I figured it wouldn't be necessary." He shared.

YN opened the file to have a read at the agreement which didn't look that long. But it hit her.

"Wait, you clearly don't have a wife or a girlfriend or a partner or whatever!" She couldn't fathom what she was getting herself into, "this baby would be mine as well, unless you have an egg donor. Please tell me you have that sorted?"

"No, I don't." He admitted way too casually for her liking.

That didn't sit right with her. That baby would be hers as well then. She wouldn't want to give up her baby, and in future go on to pretend as if she doesn't have her first born somewhere in the world with her own kids she gets to keep.

Her mind was racing a hundred thoughts per minute as she read the agreement. The clauses had her feel more anxious. She has to quit her fucking job?!

He wad ready to agree on whatever amount she wanted in return!

There is no questions to be asked from the recieving party, where as she is obligated to answers every question. Especially questions related to her health and medical problems or history. It was for the safety of the child.

She can't see the baby after they're born.

"I'm sorry, I, I can't do this." She closed the file and placed it back on the table in from of her. "I can't give up my child like that. I thought you just needed someone to carry your baby for you and your partner. And, and I can't even ask questions?"  She was also on verge of crying. "I, I hope you understand."

"You'll get anything you ask for." He shrugged as if he was making a fucking business deal, "can sign you a cheque for a hundred thousand pounds now and we'll sort out the rest later."

"What? No!" She exclaimed, "you-- can I ask why you want a baby when you're clearly single?"

"You can't." He's very blunt with his answers. "No questions. Just let me know by the end of this week."

"You don't have to wait for the end of the week, I won't be doing this." She stood firm to her decision, "hope you find someone who's ready to work on your conditions, but I can't."

Harry was disappointed but he can't be really. She doesn't agree with it. He can't force her. And YN just left that day.

Just for her to call his manager back up ten days later, in desparation of agreeing but she wasn't going to quit either of her jobs. And that was final. To which he clearly agreed as he had no more patience in him.

And here they are.

His beige sofa and ottomans were switched to yellow sofa and a burgundy and blue side sofa chair thingies. A natural wood stock coffee table with a glass top was set in middle, on a Moroccan rug underneath. Apart from that everything was same.

"You got new sofa?" She asked.

"Yeah." He closed the door behind him after following her inside, "my god daughter, Ruby was over the other day and she spilt her blue paint all over me sofa. It looked like someone murdered a Smurf there." YN laughed at that.

"You want to take a seat whilst I go heat up the food?" He suggested, walking over to the dining area he pulled a chair for her.

"Yeah." She nodded. Placing her bag on the sofa she made her was to the dining area. "You can cook too?"

"No. No, no I can't." He chuckled sheepishly there, "Lizzie, my housekeeper and chef looks after this all."

"You have a personal chef?" YN couldn't believe what he said which shouldn't be surprising in the first place. He hummed to answer her. "Wow you're rich!"

"Well, I like to think that way." He shrugged.

"Some of us have to make our meals and sometimes that doesn't happen too. I'm so jealous of you!" YN groaned, "I want to be mega rich too someday."

"What do you mean that doesn't happen sometimes?" He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her.

"What?" She looked at him nervously. She shouldn't have said that.

Her friends have been there for her recently. At least one of them is to make sure she's had all her meals. Even if that meant cooking for her (she's getting spoilt). YN haven't had to skip a meal because of anything since she found out she's pregnant. But before she could explain all of this, he snapped.

"I told you to move in with me!" He exclaimed, "at least you can have something to eat on time for fucks sake." His voice raised. YN was taken back because she's never heard him this loud.

"Harry, I can't just move in with you." She said, "I'd end up fucking homeless, I have no family here."

"So you think I'm going to kick you out after the baby is born as if I'm some kind of heartless monster?" He scoffed in disbelief, "you think that low of me, YN?"

"I, I never said that." She choked on her breathe trying not to cry, "I'm done. I can't cry in front of you again." She barged out to the living room and grabbed her her bag ready to leave. She lost her patience because he raised his voice again.

"Run away like you always do." He yelled from the other side of the room, "you're so scared of confrontations and talking, aren't you?"

"Learnt from you." She slipped on her shoes.

"YN you step one foot out." He warned her.

"Yeah? Watch me!"

"YN, stop!" He rushed to stop her from leaving, he grabbed onto her hand taking in a deep breath to calm himself down. "Hey, look I'm sorry. I, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. Let's talk okay?"

"I am not scared of confrontations or talking, okay?" She laid it out clear in front of him, "you jump to conclusions without even listening to the person in front of you."

"Hey I'm really sorry." He whispered, "I wouldn't-- that won't happen again."

"No, stop." She whispered slipping her hand out of his. "Don't talk to me."

"I, I won't. Just please don't leave, okay?" He suggested, "we can just sit here and talk whenever you feel alright."

He heated up the food his chef made and left in the fridge. He usually eats the same thing for dinner so there was enough for the both of them. Eating in silence was really not something he enjoys but it's a better option than to leave things unsaid.

He noticed she barely ate anything, so he ordered something she eats usually. The handful of time they've had meals together and she gets the same thing.

"I don't want you to baby sit me, Harry. I'm not going to share a word!" She warned him. "This is so stupid. It's not like I'd die after skipping one meal. I made a freaking joke!"

"I'm not baby sitting you." He shrugged simply.

"You're making me eat forcefully, you're not letting me go back home alone. That's baby sitting."

"I'm looking out for you YN because I'm your friend, if that's what you call baby sitting then fine." He picked up his empty dishes and walked back into the kitchen, he frustratingly started cleaning the counter top, "I'd rather baby sit you than you passing out on an empty stomach. You know how bad being pregnant takes a toll on your whole body?" She sat there with her head down, still playing with her food and fork.

Of course he's going to look out for his baby.

"I've seen my friends and cousins go through this YN. Whilst I might have not everything but I know." He walked back to her. "I want you to be healthy as well. I want you to know that I don't back off my friendships. I shouldn't doubt you for looking after yourself, I apologise for that."

"Hmm." She sniffled. "And I'm crying again!"

"It's okay." He assured her, "it's alright."

"I, I, I need to tell my dad." She sobbed, "he can't know from anyone else."

"You can tell him." Harry wrapped his arms around her, "it's okay."

"I don't know. He's going to be so disappointed!" Her breath shuddered as she was crying so much.

"I'm sure he's not going to, YN." Harry rubbed her back gently, "you just need to explain it to him."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm." He nodded.

"I want to go home now, please."

"Yeah, I'm gonna take you home." He placed a kiss on her head before he was off to get his keys, "come on."

......................................................................

YN contemplated till it was too late for her to video call her dad. So she cried herself to sleep.

The next thing she heard was someone calling for her name softly, feeling a warm hand running up and down on her arm.

Wait... Is she dreaming?

Realising that made her wake up gasping.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." The familiar deep and raspy voice got her back to earth. It is Harry.

"Oh my god!" She sighed. "Please open the window. Please!"

"Yeah." He got up quickly and opened her windows to let the fresh air in and just as quickly got back to sit on the edge of her bed. "I didn't mean to scare you. Kayla let me in, wanted to come in and check on you."

"The baby is fine Harry." She sighed falling back in bed, pulling up her blanket to her chin as she tried to fall back asleep.

"YN, you still think I don't care about you?" He sounded so defeated, "you matter more, YN, okay? I've come in to check on you because you seemed so upset and anxious yesterday. Please, I need you to understand I'm not doing this just because I only care about my baby. You're my friend now!"

"Right." She nodded, "I want to sleep more still please, I'm very tired."

"Don't you have a convocation to go to?"

"It's today?" She asked, "oh my god, it's today!" And she realised it herself. "What the fuck, what the fuck!" She got out of bed in panic.

"Hey, be careful." He warned her.

"Get off my bed, I need to fix it!" She scolded him.

"Let me do it." He stopped her. "You go get ready. You've got barely three hours."

"No, it's fine let me—"

"I said go get ready, YN." He grabbed onto her arms to steady her, gently. "I'm going to be your escort for tonight."

"I don't an escort."

"Trust me you will, when Kayla and Julia are busy with their dates." With that he left her room.

"Harry, I don't need an escort!"

"I know." He called from the living room, "now chop-chop darling. You're going to be a Doctor of Philosophy today."

......................................................................

YN got ready as fast as she could. She couldn't waste much time.

Being pregnant is already getting to her head, she could barely imagine how she'd be when she's much further in. She was locked into her bathroom getting ready.

Her bedroom door doesn't lock up as the previous boy who lived there had it broken, some drunk college students were hooking up in his bedroom. Josh was super mad for that giy to even throw a party whilst the other three of the roommates were gone out of town.

Least to say, YN never got it fixed nor did their landlord. He's a dick!

Just as she was about slip on her dress, she glanced at herself in the mirror. She hates looking in mirror but she saw the little bump.

Well, she's practically naked, stood in her mismatched knickers and bra. Usually she's feel sexy, without even looking at the mirror. Mirrors are just self-districting weapons.

But she felt different there. Her body was growing another life inside of her. It was part hers. She shouldn't and she couldn't help but her resting her hand on her bulging belly.

Wait... She can't let this happen again. This time it's going to be worse, she'll have to give up the baby. They will live and she won't ever get to see them again.

Taking in a long breath she quickly put on her dress and fixed her already styled hair. She's not going to let this ruin her special day. She was out of her bathroom and room immediately gathering all her stuff like when you don't think you need a basket or a trolly at the store.

"You want me to help you?" Harry rushed to gather her jacket and her bag she uses everyday. "What have you got in here?"

"I am perfectly capable of taking my own stuff." She rolled her eyes and walked to kitchen to fix herself a sandwich real quick.

"We're going to get breakfast on the way love, don't worry about it. Now come on." Harry ushered her out.

......................................................................

Least to say, Harry was happy seeing YN all bubbly and happy today. She was giggling with her friends, and he didn't quite felt like an outsider. Especially with Julia and Kayla shooting daggers at him with their eyes.

"Hello, Dr. YN YLN, nice to finally meet you. I'm Harry Styles." Harry introduced himself formally.

"Likewise, Mr. Styles." YN shook his hand but ended up in fit of giggles and went in to hug him tightly. "Oh my god, I can't believe this!"

"I know." He wrapped his own arms around hers, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you!" She squealed, "thanks for saying that!"

"Of course, darling." He pulled away to look at her beaming at him. He knew she was about to tell him something but someone called for photos. But at the end she came to him asking him to take her pictures on his iPhone.

Later he found out YN and her friends were skipping on partying lile crazy tonight, they had to go and start working their butts off for Kayla and Josh's wedding. YN being the maid of honour and Julia being the only brides maid, they both had many responsibilities.

Now Harry wanted to talk to about some things. He also wanted to ask her if she's feeling any better about this situation she's in. He could clearly see how much her father matters to her. And most importantly she still seemed mad at him this morning.

The party was getting intense and if he was being honest he missed going out to parties. Corporate parties loose all their glory after a certain period. But he was also enjoying seeing YN so happy, seeing how her friends were taking care of her despite being a bit tipsy at this point.

Well, the girls were drunk their arse off when he first found YN at one of his clubs with her friends, they wouldn't let go of her. He craved that kind of friendship!

But the place was becoming more crowded, though he didn't wanted to take YN away from the fun he kept an eye on her side. He saw YN carefully making her way towards him to where he was sat by the bar.

"Hey." He beamed at her. A glass of red wine in his hand which looks like it's untouched. That was his trick so no one asks to buy him a drink or try to flirt.

"Hey, can you please take me back to my place?" She asked, "I would stay but I'm very tired and I want to sleep."

"Let's go then, yeah?" He kept his glass on the counter and stood up buttoning his blazer, lead her to the back door.

"How do you know this way?" YN was confused.

"I just know." He shrugged. "You want to get anything before we drive to yours?"

"No, I'm good." She nodded.

Harry turned off music in his car as he saw her falling asleep there.

He had a nice day with her. But he was still not able to get out the feeling he has been feeling from yesterday. She haven't said a word about it to him, maybe she forgot?

He reached her flat way too quickly for his liking. He parked his car on the side of the road, contemplating if he should wake her up. She looks so peaceful whilst sleeping.

"Hey, YN?" He called for her softly which was enough to wake her up luckily, "we're here at your place."

"Oh, I'm sorry I fell asleep." She shook her head to wake herself up properly, "thank you for driving me back."

"Of course, darling." He smiled, "do you want me to help you with that?" But he still got out quickly and got her graduation gown, cap and her bag for her from the back seat. "Come on, I'll walk you upstairs."

"Sure." She shrugged.

Honestly, she was too tired to even walk herself up the stairs alone with that much stuff in her hands. She could use the help he was offering.

......................................................................

"YN, can I have a minute with you before I go? Please?" Harry requested as he set down YN's stuff in her room.

"Mhmm." She nodded and sat down on her bed to take off her shoes. She had swelling in her feet even this early in the pregnancy.

"I want to talk about yesterday." He crouched on the floor in front of her to help her taking off her shoes, "I didn't mean to make you upset YN, I promise. I, I, I guess I've been so bad with protecting people my relationships in my life. I, I don't, I don't want anything to happen to the little one, or you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you've become a good friend of mine. And I know food can be a bit of a sensitive subject for some, I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway like that. I didn't mean to take the joke in a wrong way."

"Why would you say it like that?" She was confused. "I mean the relationships thing, or am I still not allowed to ask you questions?"

"Let's just say I'm too scared to let people in my life." He smiled sheepishly as he looked up at her through his lashes, "even though I manage to annoy you-- unintentionally!-- I'm sorry for that."

"It's just my hormones going all haywire. I'm very patient, I promise." She smiled at him, "and I get it now, so you don't have to apologise. In fact I am sorry, I overreacted yet again, and you have to put up with my shit."

"Yes, I have to apologise, but you don't." He said with a firm tone as he set her shoes aside. "Whilst I can't know what you're going through, the least I can do is try to understand. I just hope I'm good enough of the little one."

"You'll be an amazing dad to this kid, Harry, I'm sure of that." She assured him as if she can look into future and she sees him and this kid living the happiest life imaginable.

"I'm going to hang onto that." He nodded, he can have that hope with him.

He knows, he shouldn't be doubting himself now even though he's been ready for this for years. He isn't doubting about anything, but he's just nervous, that's all it is. He has everything he could, read every parenting book under the sun, talked his friends who are parents and even his own mother; who always told him that she can never be fully ready to be a parent. No matter how many books his reads or how many TedTalks videos he'd binged.

He's heard that some people don't feel that instant connection with their new born, he's afraid of all the what ifs? which comes along with it.

"Do you want to feel your baby, Harry?" She asked.

"You, you sure you'll, you'll be comfortable with it?" He was a little surprised to say the least.

"Yes, I am." She nodded.

Harry hesitantly placed his hand on her baby bump. He gasped, even though he couldn't feel the baby yet, he'd yearned for this moment for years. It hit him that the baby wasn't moving until he realised his thumb was rubbing circles on YN's stomach.

"Can, can you feel them move?" He panicked.

"Not yet, I read that babies start moving for about sixteen to eighteen weeks." She explained, "there's nothing to worry about."

"Okay." He sighed in relief, "I can't believe this." It was pretty evident he's happy that his eyes were tearing up quite a bit, tip of his nose turned a light shade of pink.

"Well it's happening." She tried not to laugh at his adorable reaction, "I'm so happy for you, Harry, and thank you for helping me."

"Don't have to mention that, darling," he gave her squinty eyed smile to keep his tears from escaping. "Thank you for letting me... you know, feel the baby bump."

"Your welcome." YN chuckled.

"Did that come out wrong?"

"No, you're very cute that's all." She shut her eyes for a moment as realisation set in.

"You think I'm cute?" He smirked cheekily.

"I meant to say annoying." She straightened her posture, failing to make the situation less awkward for herself.

"Hmmm, sure." Harry chuckled. Dimples denting deep in his cheeks as little crinkles become more prominent at the corners of his gorgeous eyes, his bunny teeth showing. He smiled truly from within in front of her. Maybe it was the first time. "You need me to get you anything before I leave?"

"Yeah, can you get me a bottle of water from kitchen, please?" She asked sheepishly.

"Sure." He stood up from his place on the floor.

He padded his way down to the kitchen and grabbed a reusable bottle of water for her from the fridge, it had her name on it, and many other reusable bottles with her and her friends' name on it. He closed the fridge door, just as he was about to leave he saw a picture of YN stuck on the door with a rose magnet. Along with three more pictures, but this one intrigued him more.

It was a picture taken with a disposable camera, a man who looked to be YN's dad. She looked to be about twelve to thirteen years old in her school uniform and her hair tied in two braids with red ribbons, a little six year old boy who looked exactly like her sat in her lap in his own school uniform, everyone smiling wide for the picture. Her dad was wearing the same jerkin she's got with her.

He wondered where her mum was.

He made his way back to her room after all, keeping his thoughts and questions to himself to not unintentionally make her upset with his curiosity. He placed the water bottle on the night stand.

"Oh my god!" He got scared when he felt something rubbing against his leg, it was a ginger cat. "You scared me." He scolded the cat as if she's going to give a fuck about what he says.

The feline jumped up on YN's bed and curled up into a ball, paws tucked under her chest as she fell fast asleep.

"You have a cat?" He asked once he saw YN come out of her bathroom in her PJs.

"Oh no she's not mine." YN smiled, "she's Noodle by the way, Kayla's fur baby. She likes to stay with me."

"I've never seen her." He was so fascinated by the cat.

"She's a senior cat, she's likes to stay in Kayla's room. Noodle is a smart cat, she knows when I'm getting ready I'll be heading out so she's in her mother's room." YN explained. "She probably came in here noticing that I'm here. I don't go anywhere much so we became good friends."

"I never knew I had a competition!" He chuckled.

"Unlike you, she doesn't piss me off. Especially when I'm all hormonal." She scoffed jokingly, rolling her eyes.2

"Did you just rolled your eyes at me?" He looked genuinely surprised and mildly offended.

And she did it again!

"Did you eat my chocolate cake or something, took you long enough to get a bottle of water?" She asked sitting down on her bed.

"There was a chocolate cake?" He acted as if he was going to go devour it in that moment.

"Don't you dare!" She warned him earning a few laughs.

"Your picture caught my eye. On the fridge." He shared.

"Mhmm." She nodded taking a sip from her water. He took a seat next to her when she said nothing else, being careful of the cat of course!

"Do you mind me asking what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked, hesitant and mildly scared.

"I have to teach a crowd of teenagers tomorrow, like everyday." She shrugged.

"No, I meant after." He corrected himself quickly, "I should have worded that right."

"After I'll be going out with Kayla for her wedding dress shopping, and after that... I have nothing to do, why?"

"Do you maybe want to come over to mine?" He tried to be subtle, "I, I, I'll have my god daughter over as her parents will be going out. She, uhhhh, she can be handful some times."

"You baby sit too?" She was intrigued, but she's also pulling his leg.

"I'm her god father so I have some responsibilities." He shrugged, "but I could use some help."

"Hmm, sure." She nodded.

"Okay, I'll ask Lizzie to make something for you too for dinner." He tried his best to hide his excitement there. "I think I should leave now."

"I'll walk you to the door." She offered.

"You don't have to, I'll see myself out."

"I have to feed the cat and lock the door. Those bastards aren't coming home tonight, I know that." YN explained as she followed him out, almost bumped into him when he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You'll be alone all night?" He turned around.

"I'll be fine."

"YN, I can't--" he sighed, "I don't want to leave you alone this time."

"I'll be fine. I promise." She assured him.

He didn't wanted to force her but he also didn't wanted to leave her alone. After what happened that night, he doesn't want to leave her alone. It is going to bug him all night now.

He bid his byes with her for the night, before he was headed back to his place.

It was nearly two in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Even after drinking two cups of sleep tea. He almost picked up his phone to call and check in on her but soon realised she must have falled asleep. He doesn't want to disturb her.

She'll call him if she needs anything. She did last time.

......................................................................

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[rosemary-morgan]

Draco Malfoy X F.Reader - Forbidden flower (Part 4)

(Pictures are not mine! Found on Pinterest/Google - Collage made by myself. OC Jericho Griffin belongs to me.)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

This AU is set 10 years after the Battle of Hogwarts

👉 Read PART 1  / 👉 Read PART 2  / 👉  Read PART 3

Summary: It's just you and Draco. A night full of passion and sins... ♥

Warning: NSFW 18+ and lots of fluff, romance and sweet, soft Draco

If you like the story, please, please reblog 🖤 it will help so much 🌻

Forbidden flower - Part 4

Draco sighed softly, kept watching the time, and hoped for the soon arrival of his girlfriend. In his hand he held a red rose and he could hardly wait to give it to her. He would have liked to give her a whole bouquet, but she would be unable to keep it in her home. 

Draco felt more and more worried about Y/N. In the last few weeks, Draco had also become familiar with the unpleasant side of her husband. Jericho had more and more often been noticed negatively at work, seeming hardly to be able to control himself when he was annoyed about something. Y/N hadn't mentioned  a single word that Jericho had ever gotten handsy with her, and Draco hoped that her husband would never dare. His thoughts faded as he saw Y/N leaving the store.

Y/N saw Draco and she instantly smiled, which he returned immediately - but her smile faded as Jericho appeared in the next moment. He just came out from behind Olivanders and headed straight for Y/N. Jericho didn't see Draco at all, for Draco was standing a few meters behind him. 

Panic instantly spread through Y/N's mind, because this was a risky moment. Draco didn't seem to have noticed her husband either, for he walked towards Y/N without any hesitation. Her eyes grew wide as she glanced briefly at Draco and he frowned in question, smiling nonetheless. He wondered why she suddenly looked so serious but Draco was not expecting that her husband would suddenly appear. Draco believed that Jericho was still sitting at his desk, working. To make things worse, Y/N saw the red rose in Draco's hand and if Jericho would see it too and then instantly he would understand what was going on between them. Y/N tried to keep a clear mind, but Draco sped up, almost catching up with Jericho. Now Y/N had to act quickly. Her heart was beating up to her throat and she turned pale. Her stomach contracted painfully and it felt like she was about to throw up. But she walked purposefully towards Jericho and greeted him;loud enough so that Draco would hear it too and understand what was happening.

"Hi Jericho!"

Abruptly, Draco stopped, feeling as if he had been struck by lightning and turned away from her, his heart pounding. The blond man stayed in place for the moment, overhearing the two of them and watching Y/N forcing herself to ignore him, as hard as it was for her. 

"Surprise, sweetheart!"

When Draco heard him speak, he felt sick. Sweetheart? No, she certainly wasn't his sweetie! Jealousy crept up involuntarily in Draco and he clenched his jaw tightly so that his bones were clearly pressing through under his skin. 

"I thought you were going to be working late again tonight?"

"Aren't you glad to see me, Y/N? Though I was going to give you a treat and take you out for dinner!"

Draco held back hard, hating the thought of her having to spend the evening with Jericho. The young Malfoy made his way down one of the narrow alleys, close enough to keep an eye on the two of them. It drove him crazy to see Jericho kissing and touching her. Stroking through her soft hair and seeing how uncomfortable it made her. Instantly, Draco couldn't help but think of that awful dinner where Jericho had treated his wife with no respect at all.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's enjoy tonight. We haven't spent time together for a long while!"

Draco would have loved to throw several curses at him, but he didn't. Not when Y/N was around and obviously Y/N was afraid of being caught having an affair with him. Draco looked down at the rose in his hand and sighed heavily before leaning the back of his head against the wall. 

"Fuck..."

From that day on, Jericho waited for Y/N every single day and Draco didn't even have a chance to talk to her. This had been going on for four days and the young Malfoy thought he was going crazy. Jericho didn't seem to let his wife out of his sight anymore and he left his workplace much earlier than usual. Draco couldn't visit her at work either, for she was never alone there. It was a crappy situation, that much was certain. He had to figure something out if Draco wanted to see his lover. And Y/N liked the current situation even less; Jericho didn't leave her side, seeming to be his old self. He brought her flowers, gave her gifts and was charming. But Y/N was not stupid, knowing that this was not his true nature. Whatever got into him, she didn't trust him. Too much evil had happened between them and Y/N would never forgive him. No matter how hard Jericho would try, he had already lost her. Draco was the only man she wanted and she had to see him. The young woman reached for other ways to make that happen...

♦♦♦♦

"Sit down, Jericho. Dinner will be ready in a minute."

He hugged his wife from behind, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent. Y/N shivered and closed her eyes for a moment, simply disgusted when Jericho got too close.

"Can't we just skip dinner? And go upstairs?", Jericho whispered hoarsely in her ear, making her shiver even more. 

"No, Jericho..."

"Come on, sweetie. It's been so long since we last had sex. Why don't you feel like it?"

What was she supposed to say in response? That she found him disgusting? That she loved and desired another man? Oh, Jericho would freak out! And Draco probably would too, if she gave Jericho what he demanded.

"I just don't feel like it lately."

She heard Jericho sigh and when he let go of her, she instantly reached for the plates she had already filled with food. Wordlessly, she walked to the table where she placed everything.

"You never feel like it. I just wonder why? Am I not good enough in bed for you?"

There he was again. The selfish, neurotic Jericho. 

"Not today, Jericho. Please. Sit down and have dinner with me."

She tried the quiet way, and sometimes it worked but once she got into an argument, she was lost. By now she knew how to deal with her husband. Nevertheless, it was not easy to restrain him, as it was now. He did sit down at the table, but Y/N flinched now and then at his abrupt movements. She averted her eyes from him while he stared at her, and of course it didn't escape her. It was more than uncomfortable, but she tried to focus on her food with her appetite gone. Jericho, on the other hand, ate everything Y/N had cooked him. Y/N just poked around in her plate, taking a bite or two. Again and again she looked furtively at him and wondered when the effect of the potion she had secretly bought would finally take effect. This potion was supposed to make him completely sleepy within a few minutes and put him out of action for the next eight hours. And when Jericho finally began to yawn, Y/N smirked unremarkably. Jericho himself didn't even think that Y/N might have added something into his food. Still, he found it strange that he suddenly became so tired.

"Fuck... I'm going to lie down. I can barely keep my eyes open..."

Jericho already rose and left the kitchen without further ado. Y/N glared after him until he disappeared from her sight. Impatiently she tapped her fingers on the wooden table, waiting for him to finally get upstairs to the bedroom. When she heard him going up the stairs, she slowly rose from her seat. Not much longer and she would finally see Draco...

♦♦♦♦

"Let me take care of your coat," the soft voice behind her said, and Y/N undid the last button, slowly pulling the fabric over her shoulders, tilting her head a little to the side, and she could clearly feel Draco's breath on her neck. He was more than surprised to see Y/N at this late hour, but all the more pleased. Draco slowly took off her coat and didn't take his eyes off her for a second. It took a lot of strength for him not to kiss her senseless. His focus was on her delicate neck and without really thinking about it, he gently caressed her skin with his fingers. Instantly the young woman closed her eyes and enjoyed this wonderful feeling that he caused inside her. 

With one hand, Draco brushed her hair aside and he smoothed a gentle kiss on her neck, whereupon she panted softly. She lifted her hand and placed it on the back of his head as Draco's hands slowly stroked her sides and he eventually wrapped his arms around her stomach.

"God, I've missed you, Y/N..."

He couldn't have endured another day without her, and he was happy to have her with him in his house.

"I almost went crazy without you," he whispered hoarsely.

His words brought a smile to her lips and she felt so wanted. She turned to him, their eyes met, and Y/N lost herself in his blue eyes. As Draco leaned in towards her, their faces were now very close and her heartbeat quickened. Naturally, their lips found each other and the moment Draco kissed her, her eyes closed. Her arms wrapped around his neck as they exchanged a tender kiss and Y/N instantly felt her pussy begin to tingle. There was so much desire, so much lust in that kiss. Sensually, Y/N whispered his name as he began to caress her neck again. She desperately clawed into his blond hair and tried to control her trembling voice, yet again and again a pleasurable groan escaped her. For Draco, this was pure music. His body was on fire, for he desired this woman like no other. He was nervous and also excited, but he managed to hide this well. 

His hands enclosed her petite shoulders as he opened his mouth a crack wide to glide his tongue over her soft lips. This was more than appreciated by Y/N and a passionate dance began between their tongues, making them both moan with pleasure. As if guided by an invisible force, they both went to Dracos bedroom. 

And once there, the two began removing each other's clothes, slowly dropping them to the floor one by one.

"Draco..."

His name fell softly over her lips as her fingers stroked his bare chest. Draco kissed her, looking into her face with half-opened eyes as he gently cupped her neck before covering it with fiery kisses. Full of pleasure, Y/N closed his eyes, moaning softly. Draco could hardly believe his luck. This wonderful and tender creature in his arms was the best thing that could happen to him. After all the years of loneliness and regret, Draco finally found peace in Y/N's lap. 

"Y/N..."

He whispered her name as he looked at her, gently stroking through her hair.

"Do you want to do this?"

Y/N felt so valued and it warmed her heart. Jericho had never treated her so lovingly before and it moved her to tears.

Draco saw the tears in her eyes, but he also saw her smile and she assured him that she wanted that. With a contented sigh, Draco kissed her and Y/N instantly wrapped her hands around his neck. 

"Draco, I want you," she whispered and her beautiful eyes looked at him full of love. "I'm very attracted to you and I can't imagine anything more beautiful right now. I want to make love to you."

Draco took great joy in her words. He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled, closing his eyes for a moment.

"You mean a lot to me, Y/N, and I want to see you happy."

Y/N kissed him with affection before nuzzling her cheek against his and sliding her hands into his blond hair. For a while they remained tightly in an embrace, whispering loving words to each other, until finally Draco lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed. There he laid her down, looking down at her from above, admiring her body. Naked and beautiful as she was created, she lay before him.

"Beautiful," he whispered as he did not take his eyes from her body.

The young woman looked at him, admiring the slender but quite powerful and well-trained body. His cock was already aroused and she almost feared that he might be too big for her.

"Come to me, Draco," she whispered, reaching out to him, an invitation which he gently took. He half lay on top of her, careful not to burden her with his weight. Her warm body felt so wonderful that he sighed in pleasure. He could clearly feel her breasts nestling against his skin.

Y/N's hands slid over his shoulders as he moved his arms under her back, and put one hand on the back of her neck, to support her a bit while he kissed her tenderly. The young woman literally melted in his arms. 

"Y/N"

He whispered her name.

"I want to touch you. I want to kiss every part of your body..."

At his words, the young woman sighed with anticipation.

"Then touch me, Draco," she replied as she took his hand and placed it on her breast. Draco grabbed hold of her firm and delicious flesh, moaning deep in arousal.

The young man bent down to her breasts and instantly closed his lips around the rosy bud. A soft, lustful gasp was heard from his lover as he began sucking on her nipple. Her fingers buried themselves in his blond hair, pressing him closer to feel more of that intense sensation. When Draco heard how much she liked what he was doing, he became even more passionate. His hand moved down her body. First over her hip, then further and further down until he reached the sensitive spot between her thighs. An audible sigh escaped her pretty lips as Draco caressed her and she opened her legs for him, allowing him more room to play. Draco looked up at her with a confident smile, and the lust that was visible on her face was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He grinned, sliding his tongue around the hard bud as he did so, and he could already feel on his fingers how wet she was getting from his touch. With a soft smack, he let go of her nipple, kissing his way down her body with hunger and desire. Y/N blushed as she realized how close he was getting to her pussy and before she could think about it any further, she saw him already lying between her legs. Full of pleasure, she bit her lips and couldn't wait to be licked by him. 

Draco's hands gently ran over her thighs and he looked at her beautiful womanhood; this sight aroused him very much and her scent overwhelmed him. The young man looked up at her, wanting to make sure that what he was doing was okay. Her beautiful eyes looked at him with curiosity and she reached out to him, stroking through his hair. 

"May I?" he asked softly, with the thought of tasting her driving him mad with lust. He moistened his lower lip with the tip of his tongue as he waited for an answer from her. He would have loved to throw himself over her, making love at her like mad. However, Draco was not to wait long for a response as she nodded at him, and she saw Draco lower his face between her thighs. The moment Draco's tongue caressed her clitoris, her head fell back into the soft pillows.

His tongue circled her pearl, then drove between the wet, soft cleft of her inner labia. Letting her delicious nectar melt on his tongue, Y/N reached into his hair and clawed at it, making Draco hum softly. It was a contented hum that testified to how much he was enjoying this. The young woman kept panting lustfully as he licked her and sucked on her swollen labia. She thought she was going to lose her mind.

"Draco!"

This time she moaned a little louder, her body arching up and her legs began to tremble. Her climax would not be long in coming, that much was certain. As his tongue slid into her wet opening, she felt endless pleasure. She had never experienced anything so wonderful before. Draco took his time with her and gave her what was good for her.

"D-Draco..."

Suddenly she was overcome with such a violent orgasm that she cried out loud. Draco looked up at her, his gaze full of desire for her. His hands held her by the hips so there was no escape from his tongue. She felt hot, very hot, and her heart was hammering madly against her chest. Her climax ebbed only slowly and she enjoyed every single moment. 

Draco spread soft kisses over her inner thighs, possessing himself one last time over her sweet, wet center that shimmered brilliantly before kissing his way up her body.

Y/N could taste herself as Draco kissed her on the mouth; it was an unfamiliar sensation, but an arousing one at the same time.

Her throbbing center yearned for Draco and she felt his thick shaft pressing against her thigh, eagerly waiting to finally plunge into her.

"Y/N"

Draco watched her from under half lowered lids as Y/N nestled her abdomen against his, feeling the velvety tip of his cock pressing against her clit.

"Draco, I need you," she whispered with lust. The blond man reached between their two bodies for his erected penis, rubbing it first against her wet labia before gently pushing himself inside her.

Y/N's gaze moved down, wanting to watch him slide into her, finally making her his.

Her fingers clawed into his forearms and she looked up into his handsome face, which contorted with lust as he penetrated her inch by inch. Y/N let her head sink back into the pillow as she joined him in letting out a moan of pleasure.

He didn't move at first, wanting to let this wonderful feeling of being inside her take effect on him. When he bent down to her, his lips touched her face. He kissed her temple and let his lips brush over her eyebrow. When she lowered her lashes, he kissed her eyelid very gently. His tongue slid over her cheek, and finally his lips took her mouth in possession. He kissed her with such tenderness that she melted. She noticed the scent of the man she was hugging - fresh mint, and his kisses tasted the same. She opened her mouth to his searching tongue and gave in to his desire. Draco gripped her bare tit with the palm of his hand, stroking the tip of her nipple with his thumb. She moaned out as a shiver of purest pleasure took possession of her body. His hands moved down her body, the hot touch of his fingers on her naked flesh arousing her deeply. Clinging to him, she enjoyed his taste and scent, as well as the feeling of him deep inside her. Her soft curves pressed against the hard length of his body. When he began thrusting into her, they moaned together and Draco reached for her hand, letting his fingers slide between hers as he made love to her. She was tight and warm. When he felt her thigh brush against his, fire shot through his loins. Gasping and moaning, he thrust himself into her, sliding out of her silky cunt, and back in again and again.

Lust filled voices and the scent of her arousal was in the air.Y/N couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy. Draco was gentle, whispering sweet words to her over and over, which made her smile, but blush at the same time.

"Draco... this is so good..."

"Mmmm..."

Draco looked down at this beautiful woman and by God, what a glorious feeling that was!

"You're mine, Y/N..."

Draco was possessive, yes. But he wanted to make it clear once and for all that she didn't belong to her husband Jericho. That man didn't deserve her and he would never keep her with him.

"Say it, Y/N... I want to hear it."

"I'm yours, Draco..."

And to him alone. Her thoughts only circled around the young Malfoy and Jericho was completely forgotten at the moment. She would come again tonight, she felt it clearly and Draco was already starting to come. His thrusts became a little rougher, a little less precise and his abdomen began to tremble. Y/N pressed her lover against her, her fingers dipped in his blond hair, she moaned his name in his ear, and finally her climax burst upon her and took her into the sky. He thrust himself hard into her, clawing hard into her hips, and then when the wave of lust overtook him, he pulled out of her and squirted his seed onto her belly. This sight was pure sin and Draco more than enjoyed seeing her satisfied and happy. The cum was sticking to her skin, which was more than tempting. A soft purr left his lips as he finally leaned down to her and tenderly kissed her sweet mouth. His eyes showed pure love as he looked at her. Gently, he stroked through her full hair, then slid his thumb gently across her cheek. Her beautiful eyes shimmered like two stars and he saw the tears that had built up in them. But Y/N smiled, for she was so happy and this feeling literally overwhelmed her, finally began to cry. Draco kissed each tear from her cheeks, whispering loving words to her and Y/N, could not believe her luck.

Draco lied down next to her. Somewhat exhausted, but completely filled with happiness, he closed his eyes before pulling Y/N to his chest. A blissful sigh left her lips as she snuggled against his warm body. But as soon as Y/N would get out of bed and touch the floor, this beautiful moment would burst. Like a bubble…

♦♦♦♦

Tenderly, Draco stroked through her hair as her face rested against his chest and she stroked his skin. She had seen the large scars on his forearm, but hadn't spoke to  him about it. Each injury had its own story.

"I have to go soon, Draco..."

But Draco didn't want to hear that at all. However, he could not stop her. He still didn't understand why she wanted to go back to Jericho. She had no business there anymore! Her place was here, by his side.

"I don't want to let you go to him, Y/N," he whispered, and she looked up at him. "I can't stand the thought of him touching you... Stay here. You don't have to go back to him."

"I have to, Draco. The potion will lose its effect in a few hours."

"The potion?"

He raised his brows in surprise when she spoke of a potion. Now Draco understood why it had been possible for her to sneak out of the house at such a late hour.

"Yes. Otherwise it wouldn't be possible for me to be with you at all."

And she would continue to give this potion to him. It was an elaborate potion, but it was damn effective; if prepared properly. However, the young woman did not mention that she had bought the potion in a store in Knockturn Alley...

"Well, well. The Gryiffindor is using the tricks of a Slytherin. I guess there is a little Slytherin behind that cute shell of yours though?"

The young woman laughed softly. 

"I'm still a Gryiffindor. But I'm in love with a Slytherin."

When Draco heard this, his expression became quite serious and yet his eyes radiated so much love.

"I love you, Y/N."

And with a deep kiss he testified his words...

[pumakaji64]

Had a particularly awful day at work today... [tw mass shooting threats]

After we left yesterday one of our coworkers, the assistant manager, started making threats that he was gonna 'blow up this whole building' and didn't care who was inside- My mom and I only found out about it this morning when we got there and our manager told us. Our co-worker was scheduled to work todday day at 7:30, our manager told us he was going to be fired as soon as he arrived but the police would be there in case things went bad, but he ended up seemingly taking it well and left- he is also now blacklisted from stepping on the store property and will get in trouble if he's caught back here...

but I just feel so fucking sick to stomach over it... the whole day I was terrified- as if him just being prohibited is gonna matter if he does decide to follow up on his threats against the store- we don't even have a reliable exit close by in the deli! The closest thing is a door with an alarm system but it only opens after being pressed on for 15 seconds! Neither my mother or I go in tomorrow, but she goes in on Sunday alone and then we both go in Monday-Thursday and neither of us feel safe there anymore.

Like, fuck man- another coworker of ours whose known this guy longer then either of us said that he once told her "Don't worry [name], I'll message you before I do it."- idk when this was- could've been years ago- Yesterday, I noticed several of our large bowls were leaking and we told our co-worker about it and even then I noticed his tone was oddly calm but I brushed it off as him just trying to be level-headed about it only to learn today he was stabbing the bowls in anger with his personal knife and that's why they began to leak... like........ I don't want to go back there but we have to- I can't believe we have to go through something like this AGAIN after last years threat at the other area we worked at... I want to quit so fucking bad and just say 'fuck the money' but I know my mother won't and I can't bear leaving her there alone.

And God... it's just another sucker-punch I'm dealt with... My wrist is losing all mobility and there is no cure, I'll likely have to get surgery that will ease my pain but only for 10 years, I might have fucking cancer, I need to get a biopsy done and won't know the results for up to like 2 weeks, I just spent 800 dollars on a CT scan, and all my other medical issues I haven't gotten started with dealing with..... now this as well... knowing any day in that store I could die, my mother could die, some other poor person could die... all cuz we were in the wrong place at the wrong time...

I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so defeated........ but, tomorrow is my birthday... so- today I'll worry and give-up, but tomorrow I'm gonna act like nothing is wrong and try to enjoy every second of that day..................................

I really, truly, and deeply hope I'm wrong about all of this, and no one will get hurt. I'm just really scared you guys...

[thetenthdoctorscompanion]

So with the holidays upon us, what are the holidays in IO like? For the Walcotts and the others? I believe you have Chrissy celebrating Christmas in the story, but in my head she's Jewish since her fc is Alona, so I imagine her and her dad celebrating Hanukkah, and her teaching the others about it. I imagine them having a lot of fun learning about it. What about El's first holiday season? Besides the Snowball, what's that like? Does she learn about Santa? What's the gift situation with them all? What about favorite holiday movies? I need help getting into the holiday spirit, despite buying most of the necessary gifts, I still feel like it's September or something.

Okay, I've been thinking about this for like a week now, and I think I've finally got a good-ish answer for you. I can't remember which details are public and which are sitting in a plot document somewhere, but you'll learn in the one-shot series that Chrissy's mom's name is Hannah.

I think when Chrissy was a kid, her family probably celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah—Christmas on Pete's side, Hanukkah on Hannah's side. Unfortunately, since Hannah got sick when Chrissy was still really young, Chrissy only has pictures and a few hazy memories of those times.

Rest under the cut because i wrote another gd essay.

Once she and her dad started moving around, holidays became a lot less certain. The "big holidays" generally spent with family are tough for them, but Pete does what he can. He was never particularly religious, so for him, it's more about making sure Christine feels like she's part of the experience. They've got a tiny plastic Christmas tree they can take from apartment to apartment, and probably a plug-in menorah. Chrissy gets eight gifts during Hanukkah and the rest on Christmas. Cooking's never been Pete's specialty either, so holidays either mean a store-bought feast, take-out, or going out to eat, but sugar cookies in different shapes? That he can manage.

It isn't until they get to Hawkins that holidays really change at all. Not their first year, but once the Hendersons move in. Dustin's used to BIG holiday gatherings, so when Claudia hears that the Walcotts don't usually do much, you just know she's going all out. Personalized stockings, hand-made ornaments, the whole shebang. And as much as Chrissy loves them for it, it makes her miss her mom.

That's probably what prompts her to grab some books from the library, so she can figure out how to do a real Hanukkah. The Walcotts finally get a real menorah and Chrissy tries to cook the right food. She's not sure she's doing any of it right, but really, it's a celebration of her mom anyway.

God, I haven't even gotten to the rest of your questions yet. OKAY.

El's first Christmas is pretty overwhelming for her. I highly suggest reading Darkness at the Edge of Town, which is a ST companion book from Hopper's POV. Most of it's set in the past, but Hopper's actively telling the story to Eleven, so there's a few chapters of the two of them in the cabin and Hop is a huge sap. I almost cried chapter one. It also talks about her going to a holiday party with her friends, which I believe is covered in a comic I haven't read.

In my mind, the party gets together at someone's house—probably Dustin's, because Hopper's too nervous to let Eleven back to the Wheeler house yet, and Claudia's not gonna question one of the kids bringing an unknown friend. I think she learns ABOUT Santa, but the kids tell her straight off it's a story they tell little kids. (Mike and Lucas are exactly the type of people to tell you that Santa's not real.) Plus, no one really wants to lie to her, silly as it may seem.

There are like...a lot of kids in the party, so I don't think everyone gets something for everyone. That being said, the party has to buy two super-comms—one for Eleven and on for Max—so that's a gift from everyone for both of them. Chrissy obviously buys additional gifts for El and Dustin, and probably for Max too. Steve gets directions from Chrissy on what video game to buy for Dustin. He feels compelled to get something for Eleven too, so he just buys the exact same thing he bought Chrissy: a hat with matching scarf and gloves. It's not inventive, especially considering El's like...not allowed to go outside...but Eleven loves them, because she matches Christine.

Okay this is beyond an essay at this point, I can go into movies if you want to ask again lmfao. 😅

[karthara]

Ok, let's break this down. Chances I would survive the initial outbreak are low, though better since I started masking. I used to catch every cold that went through our friend group but I've only gotten sick with a cold or a flu less then once a year since covid started and I have not yet caught covid. Pros I tend to watch weird survival stuff on you tube when I get into depressive funks so I know how to make a variety of traps and snares and I know the basics of skinning and gutting an animal and I'm fairly certain I could mentally cope with it as far as pigeons, deer, squirrels, mice and the like. I know how to fish. I've also watched multiple people do videos on how to prepare unusual meat like skunk or coyote, though as they have a higher chance of having eaten zombie meat they would not be what I would try to catch. For skunks it's be very careful about removing all of the scent glands and marinade in something quite sweet and acidic to break down the scent/taste. I know the basics of making vinegar. I own a copy of an old cookbook that my grandmother gifted to each of her grandchildren that was released around the time she got married. It's got chapters on how to break down animals from whole carcasses into usable food and is aimed at a homesteading wife kinda thing. I know how to make pemmican. I worked for a while behind the meat counter at a grocery store so I'm good with breaking down meat. I'm good with my hands and I enjoy gardening. We own a water filter and don't drink tap water habitually. I have much lower social needs then most people I know. If I have one other person with me I'd be good enough and I can go months without socializing before I start to feel it as a need. I own both a quarter staff and a sword. I have a biphasic sleep schedule so I'm accustomed to sleeping in short chunks at any hour. I wake easily at odd noises especially if I feel unsafe. I can sew and weave and I know how to make fiber from things like nettles. I've got enough body fat that with a small amount of food I could last months, though I would have to figure out a solution for water. I'd probably try to steal the plastic bins that the biodegradable waste goes in and hook them up to the gutters from my apartment building roof, but I don't think that would be enough for year round water. The river is too polluted and is through the woods so that is high risk. My wife and I have worked/help run a zombie survival lazer tag event for several years in the past. I'm a fairly good shot with a bow or an air rifle if I have time to aim. I've been researching farming quail and pigeons. I have seeds for several edible plants though we're halfway through the growing season and would only have time for maybe some radish, green onions, carrots, or spinach out of what I have. I own a pot for water bath canning and I would try to get my hands on a pressure canner. I know how to pickle. I took two years of shop class so I know my way around basic woodworking tools. Cons I live in a fairly populous city near down town. I am not physically fit. I have chronic pain and bad teeth, I get cavities often even with enamel toothpaste. I often wake up with pain and weakness in my hands. I have chronic pain, severe depression, and severe social anxiety along with some stuff I haven't figured out yet. We do get about a week of -40 c here in the winter that would be hell to deal with.

In conclusion, mentally I would cope fairly well and I don't think I'd be much worse off then I currently am. Physically I think I'd be screwed. I'm too stubborn to kill myself though.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Home sweet Home

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan Walker

The next week and a half are a blur.

Construction on the new factory floor and warehouse is complete and machines are being installed which comes with a whole new slew of scheduling and production problems.

School has started back up which I thought would make things easier on Megan but the poor girl is losing her mind even though I gave her a big raise.

Emmett has been handling the new place and his which is more than anyone should have to do but at least he's not working this week.

I went over to the new place last weekend so that I could see all the furniture that had been delivered and how the painting turned out.

Let me tell you, the wallpaper that was in our bedroom when I bought the place was hideous.

HIDEOUS.

Our new bedroom is beautiful and Emmett has promised me that we'll be in tonight for good.

I never have to go back to the rowhouse again if I don't want to which I have very mixed feelings about.

Also, he's up to something.

I have been under strict orders to not go upstairs to the attic or down to the basement.

'At all. For anything. Ever.'

Well, until he says I can which I'm really hoping will be this weekend.

I have a feeling I'm getting a playroom downstairs but as soon as I start trying to figure out where other things are going I start to doubt myself.

He's storing something upstairs, that I know.

But what?

I have no clue, there are too many variables.

I have another hour here before I can head home.

Home, it's official now or will be in an hour.

This week has dragged and I have never looked as forward to a Friday night as I am this one.

I haven't been over there since Tuesday and that was such a quick visit that I didn't even go upstairs.

Tonight I'm going to explore every square inch.

"Finnegan?" Megan asks sheepishly.

I don't like her tone of voice or how nervous she looks.

At least she didn't call me Mr. Walker.

"Yes?"

"We don't have anyone to watch the floor tonight... John went home sick."

How is this my problem?

This should be handled four levels below me, at least.

"And Ben?"

He's my production manager and the closest thing I have to a floor manager... he usually handles things during the day.

"Put in his notice, says it's too much work."

"We're not even in production yet."

"Said he can't handle running both shifts, too many hours."

I can't with this right now.

"A trained monkey can watch the floor. Get an extra security guard, hire a rent-a-cop, offer overtime to a few of the construction guys, I don't care."

I want to be upset and I know I sound that way but honestly this sort of thing happens at least twice a day and I'm almost numb to it after the week and month, I've had.

Unfortunately this isn't Megan's problem either.

"Get me the head of something on the phone. Anybody who's still here, please."

"Yes Mr. Walker."

"And Megan?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not mad at you. You know that, right?"

She smiles.

"I do. This week has been insane. I just want to go home and open a bottle of wine."

"Ditto. Get me someone on the phone and then head out. I'll see you next week."

"Thanks, Finnegan."

I'm late leaving the office but at least I have managed to get coverage for the weekend.

It's not ideal and I will have a lot of work to do next week but it's good enough for now. I'm going home.

I press the button to open the garage, park and grab my stuff.

It feels so good, so right, to be here.

I go in the kitchen door and smell... pizza.

Not just any pizza, the best pizza in the world.

"Hi Emmett."

"Hey, darling. Welcome home."

I'm already taking off my jacket.

"I smell pizza."

"I was at my place so brought it with me... I'm too tired to cook tonight."

That's when I finally get a good look and realize that it's a house.

The kitchen has paper towels and dishes, even a sponge in the sink.

He grabs my bendy straw cup and fills it.

He's gotten groceries, the fridge is stocked.

"You did all this? It looks terrific, Emmett." 

I take the lemonade he offers me and take a sip.

Much better.

"Is Marten here?"

"Yeah. I brought him yesterday. I can't believe the new cage you got him."

That had been a surprise.

It's at least twice as big as his old one and I had it delivered this week.

"I want to go see."

"No, pizza first, it's cold enough as is. To the table, grasshopper."

I would normally just eat in the kitchen but why not use all the rooms tonight?

The table looks great although I saw it on Tuesday.

What wasn't done on Tuesday was the gorgeous artwork on the walls or the dishes in the china cabinet.

They're beautiful.

"Where did those come from?"

"It's my parents wedding china, do you mind?"

Something of his mothers?

"Of course not."

I'm glad he brought it... I want this to feel like home to him.

There are fresh flowers in a vase on the table and I have no doubt they're from our garden.

"This looks amazing, Emmett."

"We can change anything you don't..."

"Hush your mouth, it's perfect. The only thing I plan on fucking with is my closet. I'm picky about how it's organized."

He wipes his mouth and grabs another piece.

"Yeah, that's all you, darling."

"So, Emmett, do I get to see downstairs yet?"

His mouth is full so he just nods, then takes a drink.

"Yeah, well Finn can see it. It's ready."

So it IS a playroom.

I'm torn because I wanted to pick some of the stuff for it and I really do want a gym in the house but he wanted me to have a playroom so I will.

Maybe he's cut the space in half although that would be awkward with the layout.

Eh, it's done, I will deal because whatever he's done will probably be great.

"And the surprise in the attic? Is it moved down there?"

"No, separate surprise, we can go up there tonight if you want... do it first."

Okay, the pizza is good but there's no way I can wait any more.

I wipe my hands and jump up.

"I'm going up."

We race up the stairs, then head up into the attic.

The last time I saw it it was rafters, insulation and cob webs.

What in the world is he storing up here?

He comes up right behind me and flips a switch.

I'm pretty sure there was just a bulb with a chain before. Holy shit.

"Emmett."

"Do you like it?"

'Like it? I love it.'

It's a gym but more than that, it's a room.

He's put up drywall and obviously done electrical work.

The floor is done too.

On one side of the staircase is a weight machine, a treadmill and a punching bag and the other side of the room has some mats, free weights and mirrors. I can't even.

"How did you DO this?"

"I had some help from Andy and Peter. I just thought that getting up in the morning, going all the way to the basement and then back up seemed hard and like too much work. This is closer and seems like a good use of the space."

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is amazing."

I throw my arms around him and we end up lying on the mats, staring up at the peaked ceiling.

He put a fan in.

"A fan."

"Yeah and a little fridge with water."

He sounds so pleased with himself and he should be.

"We'll have no excuse now, gonna have to work out."

"That's the downside," he jokes.

"Ready to go downstairs?"

"Yes."

Although part of me wants to spread it out, save it for tomorrow.

This is too much at once, too much great.

Emmett and this house and a gym.

I peek into our bedroom just to remind myself that it's real and then go to visit Marten's room.

"It's purple."

"I like purple."

"I mean it's fine, it's just not what I expected. The cage looks great, does he like it?"

I can't even find him, oh there he is hiding in one of the three hammocks.

"Cutie."

Emmett takes my hand and leads me towards the stairs.

"My bed and some stuff is in the guest room but it's not finished yet."

We go back down to the foyer and then down to the basement.

He opens the door to the larger room and I can't quite breathe.

He wants me to walk in but I can't, not yet.

I have to take it all in first.

There's a wall of shelves with all sorts of toys, a desk, a huge teddy bear, his couch and some poofy seats.

There are more toys and games than I can even comprehend and the rugs.

Oh, the rugs are amazing.

One of a dinosaur and one like Rhys, the rug with the town and roads all over it.

It's beautiful and happy and I can't... I can't.

"Oh my God." 

There's a train.

"Like it?"

Now I am crying or pretty close to it. 

Damn it.

"I love it, Emmett."

"Well then go on in, Finn. It's all yours."

[kamosweasley]

I don't want to talk - Part II (George Weasley x Reader)

Description : To read the first part and third part.

Word count : 3.7K

Warning : mention of cheating, angst

It’s been two weeks since George kicked you out. These words may sound too violent for what happened but you really feel like he kicked you out of where you found a home. It's not so much about the apartment, it's above all living with him, being surrounded by his love every day. As cliché as it sounds, you've never felt better than in his arms, and knowing you may never be able to find your way there again makes you feel terrible.

A part of you tells yourself you deserve this punishment and a part tells yourself it’s ridiculous to lose everything (including the person who matters most to you) because you love two people. You mean, okay it’s not common to be in love with two people at the same time but you can't help it, and it hasn't changed your love for George. So losing him would destroy you, because you still love him like a fool and you don't know if you will ever be able to draw a line under the life you had imagined for the two of you. But there's still hope, George sent you an owl to tell you that he wanted to see you tonight after work. He asked you to arrive a little before the store closes so he wouldn't have to wait for you. The tone of the letter was far from warm or enthusiastic but it suits you, you didn't expect him to forgive you so quickly and you will have the opportunity to see him again and discuss all this with him. You're terrified but also full of hope, if he wants to talk to you that means he doesn't just want to leave you and forget everything, right ?

So here you are, in front of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the heart at the edge of the explosion. You were so scared to be late that you arrived an hour early, leaving you looking at the window with undisguised anxiety. You keep nipping your lower lip, your hands are sweaty and you keep fiddling with the ring that George gave you a few years ago. It was to celebrate your coming out of Hogwarts and getting your NEWT's at the same time. He was so happy to offer it to you, even though you had only been together for a little more than a year, he already wanted to offer you everything he could. He gave you so many products from his store, you almost got all the new products just a few days before they went on sale. It was important for him to share this with you and it made you happy he shares with you this passion he has made as his job. By the way, you must have forgotten it in the apartment, you didn't think to take them with you. You should have.

The door opens with the sound of a bell, suddenly taking you out of your thoughts and making you jump. It’s George, with a cold gaze and an annoyed look on his face.

-What are you doing here ? You were supposed to arrive later.

-I was afraid I was going to be late, so I didn't really pay attention to my advance. Sorry about that.

-Come in, you're going to scare the customers by staring at the storefront like that. You look like a psycho.

He moves to let you pass. You enter timidly and you immediately have the feeling of entering hostile territory. Maybe it's because Fred looks at you badly as soon as he sees you come in, making you want to disappear. You've never experienced hostility with twins, it's always been the other way around, even more so when you were the girlfriend of one and the sister-in-law of the other. It’s funny that Fred always acted as if you were a married couple. He was the only one to call you Mrs Weasley, saying it should motivate his brother to ask you. Today you doubt he calls you by his last name as he used to. After all, you break his brother’s heart, you doesn’t deserve any sweet nickname.

-Since you're here, all you have to do is help us organize the shelves, you know how it works.

-Okay, what do you want me to start with ?

-I think there are almost no more love potions on the shelf, there's a whole box of them in the reserve.

He hasn't even glanced at you, already on his way to see a customer. You’re going to get that box when Fred passes close to you, saying the air of nothing that you do not need to steal one of them. You immediately understand what he is implying and you want to tell him to fuck off, that it’s none of his business. But you don't have the courage to argue with Fred when you came to try to patch things up with George. That would be counterproductive and you can't blame Fred for being upset with you.

A few minutes later, you put the bottles on their display, being on your guard. You know Fred well enough to know it's not impossible that he might play a bad joke on you to avenge his brother in his own way. It might even be an opportunity to demonstrate a product to customers, unless you're getting paranoid. You’re just so tired of all of this …

-Hello Y/N.

-Luna ! You surprised me.

-I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. You came to see George ?

-Yes.

-Great, I’m happy to see you both. It's been a long time since I've seen him, and so have you. I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Were you sick ?

It's weird to see her again since the argument with George. Curiously you don't have that odd feeling like all the other times, you just want her to go away before George sees you together. It would probably make him mad, he might imagine you asked Luna to come or she came to try to stop you from talking to him. You have no idea what might be going on in his head but you refuse to waste your chance.

-Kind of. You should go before you get sick too.

-Luna, what a pleasure to see you !

You stiffen at the sound of his voice behind your back, suddenly so warm that his sentence sounds sincere. But he's angry with Luna even though he doesn't let it show. He knows it's ridiculous because it's Luna, she didn't do anything to make Y/N fall in love with her again and she may not even know about it. But he resents her because she took a part of the heart he desires entirely, just for him.

-Hello George. I was telling Y/N that it's been a long time since I've seen you. It's a bit sad, you're good friends and we see so little of each other.

-But you have seen Y/N a lot in the last few months.

-True, but not for the last two weeks. It was as if she had disappeared, I thought she finally asked you to marry her and the two of you have stayed together ever since. It could have been a secret wedding, I think that's your type. But she told me she was sick.

-What ? Ask me to marry her ? Why would she do that?

-Luna !

-Sorry, I thought you talked about it with him.

-You wanted to ask me to marry you?

-I don't think it matters now.

-I'm sorry I embarrassed you, Rolf tells me I should be more subtle when talking to people.

-Who is Rolf ?

-She didn’t tell you ? Rolf is my fiancé, he’s a magizoologist like me. We met at work, he is adorable and very nice. I'm sure he's going to love your products, I came to buy some for him. He's going back to England in a few days.

George feels lost, he had no idea Luna had gotten engaged. If he had known, maybe he wouldn't have been so angry with you, because he wouldn't have thought Luna could dump her fiancé to get back together with you while you were in a relationship. He knows Luna well enough to know she is not that kind of woman, no matter how she feels about you she would have pushed you away and told you to stay with him. She has always been so nice and fair while he feels terribly selfish. 

-Congratulations, I had no idea. It's wonderful news, you have ... have you picked a date yet ?

-Yes, we will soon send out the invitations, you will receive one of course. It will be this summer, dad is very keen on it. Don't hesitate to come in yellow, it will make him happy.

-I take note.

-I'm going to go pay, it's closing soon. It was nice to see you again, feel free to visit me anytime.

The blonde goes to the cashier after a smile. You've never felt so embarrassed in front of George, it was the weirdest conversation and you don't know what effect it had on him.

-Why didn’t you tell me she’s engaged ?

-What difference would it have made ? You said that no matter what happened between her and me, the problem is I had feelings for her again.

-Luna would never cheat on someone, least of all her fiancé.

-So you trust Luna more than you trust me. Great …

-You're not going to get offended when it's all your fault in this story !

-George ! Calm down, the store is not closed yet.

He almost screamed while there were a dozen customers in the store, most of them looking at you waiting for the next part. Can this day get any worse ? It hasn't even been 10 minutes since you walked in and it's only getting worse.At this rate George won't even want to talk to you anymore and you'll have to say goodbye to him forever before the store closes. Resuming his professional appearance, he clears his throat to regain his composure and walks away without a word. Then you go back to what you were doing before Luna arrived, putting the small bottles carefully. You feel tense, it seems like there's not much missing for you to break down and either burst into tears or go crazy. It's like being in the middle of a nightmare, you would give anything to make it stop and wake up in bed with George's arms around you and his breath on your neck.

Lost in your thoughts and anxiety, the closing finally arrives and Fred leaves the store for the apartment above, not without giving you yet another bad look before winking at his brother. Here we are, and you just want to run away.

George comes to you, always with his mask of indifference on. It’s only a facade, you know him by heart and in truth he tries not to show he’s in pain. You're both in pain but you're the only one to show it, that's the game. All means are good to make him understand this separation hurts you and you miss him. You’re sitting on a step of the stairs leading to the second floor, with desperate eyes looking at the ground like a punished child. It's not going to be a piece of cake, he's probably going to say some hurtful words, but everything has to be said and heard.

-What about the proposal ? Were you really going to ask me ?

-I really thought about it, I never lied when I said that I love you and you are the man I want to make my life with.

He says nothing, assimilating this information with difficulty. He's still hurt and angry about what you did, but he feels it's not as he imagined it would be. He thought the moment he threw you out, you had gone to join Luna and since then you had been consoling yourself in her arms. He doesn't doubt your love for him, he saw how you were that night, but he thought you would move on with time, with Luna. He imagined himself learning that you were moving in with her, and the day you were going to get married. It destroyed him from the inside, this image, this perfect happiness that you would live with her when it should have been with him.

-You are the most important person to me, since we have been together for so long, I told myself that I could be the first one to make the proposal.

-Sounds ridiculous …

-You know that I want your kids. We already talked of this, I want 4 children and you, 5.

-Stop it. I know all of this too, but we can't talk of our future anymore. I'm not sure of our couple anymore.

-I understand. But you asked me to come here to talk. I'm trying to make you understand I don't want a future without you. Isn't what I'm supposed to do?

He remains silent, staring at the display of love potions. He stands up straight with his hands in his pockets and again you can't read him. You hate it, feeling like he's already so far away from you when the breakup isn't official yet. You're afraid he won't want you anymore and say it out loud, that he'll move on and make his life with another girl. He would have the right, nothing obliges him to stay with you, but how could you survive it ? He's the love of your life, it's the only thing that's been going round and round in your head for the last two weeks. It's him and nobody else, Luna is nothing compared to him. The tall man sighs and raises his head to the ceiling, you can see that he is chewing on the inside of his cheek. This is not a good sign.

-You understand it changes nothing for us.

-Not even a little ?

-I don't think so.

-Why ? It must change something. We both want to marry each other, we want a home and a family to build together. I told you more than I can remember that I am sorry and I choose you for ever and ever. Why isn't it enough ?

-You're going to get angry now ?

-I do, because I don't understand ! I understand you need time and you're mad about me and you have all right. But I didn't do anything to get her, not a kiss, not a look, not even a word. I never wanted to do anything with her, I was lost in my feelings and you … you say you will never need me again. How I'm supposed not to be angry ?

Tears fill up your eyes, it's kind of unfair of you to put a blame on him for his choice but you can't handle it. This man is yours since so many years, you've already imagined what your future would look like, to the kind of grandparents you would be. You want to live so many things with him, like traveling abroad, laughing at your children's mischief, celebrating your wedding anniversaries in so many different ways, just laughing every day of your life with this wonderful man. He can't take that away from you without you saying a word.

-Everybody makes mistakes, there is such a thing as forgiveness and you have to know how to forgive the people you love. I'm not saying this to make you feel obligated but because I want you to do it, because I still love you. Do you know that saying, "Love cannot be divided, it can only multiply" ? That's exactly right, I didn't take a part of my love for you to give to Luna. It's an old love that has woken up, it's something totally different. It's more like loving a friend very much or wanting the last broom, it’s unreasonable, foolish and not that strong as the way I love you.

-Is that supposed to make me want to take you back ?

-Shut up George ! I’m falling ! There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you heard Luna, I haven't spoken to her in two weeks ! I’m ready to do anything for you, to prove you my love !

-And you think that makes you respectable and forgivable ?

It's the most frustrating situation you've ever experienced, it's like talking to a wall. No matter what you say or what you do, he doesn't want to forgive you. This sudden realization makes you cry your eyes out. You refuse to give up your story, but it takes two to make one more, and George is sinking the ship. You don't know what's more powerful between despair and rage, but you're falling apart again. So it's really over ? He asked you to come here to finish you off like this ?

-George, I’m begging you … Don’t do this … Please, don’t leave me …

-I love you from the depths of my being, I was ready to give everything for you. But I can't give you my forgiveness, and above all I know I can't give you back my trust.

-But I don't understand ! I didn't cheat on you, I didn't do anything with her, she doesn't even know what happened ! I ignored her, I left you alone waiting for you to come back to me to talk and try to make things right because we love each other and this story doesn't change anything about OUR story !

-It changed something.

-No it doesn’t ! Maybe you’re afraid and you don’t trust me like before, and again I understand it and accept it. You’re hurt because you feel betrayed, you wanted to be the only one I love and unfortunately this is not the case but you still want me. In spite of everything you feel and what you told me, you still want me to become your wife and to raise a family together. You still want to offer me your newest products in advance and find me every night at the apartment. Because you know as well as I do that we are meant to be together. We survived Umbrage, we survived the war, I was always there when you needed me and you did the same. This love that unites us, it’s different from the one I have for Luna, it’s much more powerful and indestructible. We can break up if that's what you really want, but you know as well as I do that this love will never die. And you'll miss me every day of your life because I'll miss you too. I’ll love you forever, and I can’t do anything against that. 

-You’re cruel. Do you really think I'm happy I have to break up with you ? I'm not because you are ... everything I've ever wanted. I've always felt lucky to have you, I was sure we would make it. I’ll love you forever too and that’s the problem ! I can't escape you while you are hurting me, you will make me suffer all my life because I will have to try to run away from you all my life !

-You don't have to run away. Especially if it means it will make you suffer for the rest of your life.

Neither of you has moved since the beginning, almost like statues with words. You are together on a path that separates into two other paths, and you don't agree on which one to take next. One is clearly a dead end while the other leaves more possibilities. But you can't force George to follow you, if he really wants to stop everything then you'll have to accept it. Even if it breaks both your hearts, you can't stop him from living his life the way he wants. You've already done enough harm, and his feelings will make him suffer for a long time if he chooses to break up, there's no need to add to it. But you're not ready to hear it so you try to save this love story that's falling apart.

-Why can't we at least try to work things out before we break up ?

-If I come back to you, I know I would forgive you and we would go back to the way things were, almost as if nothing had happened.

-And it would be a bad thing ?

-I talked it over with Fred, he told me not to be fooled and not to give you a second chance. He says I deserve better than a woman who can't love only me.

-Excuse me but we don't give a shit about what Fred thinks. He's your brother, your twin, your partner, but he's not the one living your life. You know me much better than he does, you know our history and you know if I'm honest or not.

-So why didn't you tell me about Luna ?

-See where that got us ? As soon as I realized, I was ashamed, and I knew it would lead nowhere because there is only you for me. She has never been an option, least of all when she is engaged and I was hoping we would be as soon. I know, it sounds cheesy and cliché but it's the truth. I just wanted to wait for it to go away.

-By continuing to see her every day ?

-What would you have thought if I had stopped everything suddenly ? And I really thought it was a kind of nostalgia for a time when it was simple and not painful. The more the days go by and the more I'm sure of it, I don't miss her as much as I miss you, her absence doesn't hurt as much as yours. It was stupid to go back to her like that, I know. I’m sorry George. For all of this, it’s my fault. I never meant to hurt you, but I did. And I can never apologize enough for that, I promised you I would never hurt you. I’m really sorry George.

These words ring true in George's heart, yet this is not the first time you have said these words and he already knows everything, even what you didn't say. All you've done is tell the truth you both know, and even if it hurts he can't deny it. This is the moment when he must choose between yes and no. This is the moment when no matter what his twin brother said to him, his heart beats reason. It’s true he has loved you for four years and he can’t see a future without you, that's a pretty good reason to give a second chance. 

-Come on, let's go home.

-What ?

-Come quickly before I change my mind.

Without a word, you get up in a hurry and leave the store to let George close behind. You don't know what to expect, but this opening draws you like a beacon in the night. He lets you come home, which means he wants to try. You feel like you're living again, breathing is suddenly no longer painful, everything seems a little better and a little less sad. 

-You’ll sleep on the couch.

-Okay.

-I promise you nothing.

-That’s fair.

-I hope it will work. It would hurt too much if it didn’t.

You walk side by side in the night, without holding hands as you used to do. It's strange but there's a glimmer of hope that's lit up for both of you. Maybe it’s not the end.

[roguerogerss]

Sorry is a Sorry Word

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Plot: Steve fucked up - bad. He doesn’t really know how, or if, he should say sorry, until Dustin gives him a pep talk.

W/C: 3.1k

A/N: Just now realising how long this is oops, sorry. My first Stranger Things fic! Finally. (watch this flop so hard lmao) Remember to like and reblog if you enjoy! It really helps me out. As always, requests are open and any and all feedback is appreciated <3

————

"Dustin, Please, just leave me alone." She lay back on her bed, tears streaming down her face and hair amiss from where she'd run her fingers through it. "I'm fine, I just...give me some time."

"But, we tell eachother everything." Her little brother sounded so small and defeated that it almost broke her heart in two. She could hear him leaning his back against the door, the back of his head thumping dully against the wood a second later. "I feel like we're drifting apart. You don't talk to me anymore."

"Dustin-"

"No, it's okay. Don't worry." Dustin cleared the remnants of his upset from his throat, "We can talk later. I get that you need time."

And with that, he'd left. She could hear his muffled footsteps on the carpeted floor of the hallway, walking away from her bedroom and back to his own. She knew that she wanted to talk to him and vent about all of the happenings of the day, but she couldn't bring herself to let her walls down in front of anyone about her current situation just yet.

It was Steve. And it was bad.

They'd been together for a year and ten months. He'd been there for her through thick and thin. Whenever their mom went MIA, something that happened more often than not, during the days and weeks and months that Y/N was left to take care of her thirteen year old brother on her own with no notice whatsoever, Steve was there. And he'd take Dustin out to the cinema, give him free ice cream, play Dungeons and Dragons with him and his friends - even though Steve had no idea how to play Dungeons and Dragons. He'd sleep over, make her feel like she wasn't alone. It filled her with pride to see him taking Dustin under his wing, more like a dad than even an older brother.

When they lost Hopper, who'd become more of a parental figure than she and Dustin's mom was to her, he was standing by her side at the funeral, hand grasping her own smaller one with force and squeezing it every so often, just to remind her that he was there. He was there after the funeral, too, when they went to the cabin and went through Hopper's things. He was there when she found the birthday present that Hopper had bought for her, a necklace with, 'you're pretty cool, kid', engraved on it. Hopper's way of saying that he loved her. It came with a letter, one that she cried so hard while reading that she couldn't see the words on the page.

The point was, that Steve had been there through everything. And now that they'd had a huge argument over - of all things - Nancy Wheeler, she was unsure of whether or not she'd have Steve to lean on anymore.

It wasn't so much a stupid argument as it was a stupid mistake on Steve's end. He even admitted to himself that what he'd done was more than a dick move. Tina was having a party, a big one, for old time's sake. Y/N wasn't invited, having been socially considered as 'uncool' while in High School, while Steve was invited. He said that it wasn't a big deal, it didn't matter, he wouldn't go.

Except that it was a big deal, it did matter, and, well, he did go.

He'd gotten really drunk, so drunk, in fact, that he had no recollection of the night at all and managed to stumble to Y/N's front door at five in the morning.

He'd told her that he went to the party, that he was sorry. She'd been mad, but she was so tired that she said she'd deal with it in the morning and told Steve to sleep it off on the sofa. Before going to sleep, however, Steve had told Y/N that he 'thought he might've kissed Nancy' that night.

They'd argued about it the next day. She'd dropped him off at home, neither of them speaking at all in the car, and they'd screamed at eachother in Steve's living room. Little did either of them know, Steve hadn't actually kissed Nancy, he was just so drunk that he made himself believe that he had. And then, Y/N told Steve that they were done, and he'd said 'fine', and she'd left and cried in her car for an hour.

And now, she was here. Crying on her bed, little brother probably thinking that one of her friends had died or something.

She hated herself for blowing up and flying off the handle and literally breaking up with Steve. Steve, on the other hand, hated himself for even going to the party, hated himself for - possibly - kissing Nancy, hated himself for going to Y/N's front door and waking her up so early in the morning.

In the grand scheme of things, Steve Harrington had been an asshole. And he was all too aware of it.

It had been around half an hour since she got home when Dustin knocked on the door again. This time, she'd managed to calm down enough to allow him to come inside. She looked horrifying, hair messed up, tear stained face, cuddling a pillow and wearing one of Steve's shirts, but Dustin was her brother, he had no right to judge her.

The door swung open slowly, and Dustin was there, grinning and holding two pints of ice cream, spoons, and some movies. "Thought we could put a movie on and eat. And you can tell me about your problems and I promise I'll listen."

"Is the ice cream cookie dough?" Y/N asked, sniffling, and a watery smile crossed her face. Dustin laughed, happy to see his sister perking up at least a little bit, even if it was over ice cream, and turned the carton to reveal to her that it was, in fact, cookie dough.

"Only the best." He tossed one of the cartons and a spoon at her, and turned on the TV set that sat across from her bed. "Besides, I know it's the only one you'll eat when you're sad."

"You know me entirely too well." She hugged her knees to her chest and dug into her ice cream, relishing in the taste of it for a second, "Oh my God, I haven't had this in so long. And the Scoops cookie dough is so bad."

"Right? I know Steve thinks it's the best, but he is so wrong." Little did Dustin know, one mention of his name would make Y/N's meltdown begin all over again. Soon enough, she was crying hot tears into her ice cream, and she allowed Dustin to lay his head on her shoulder while she explained everything.

"Okay, I have to go somewhere." Dustin knew what he had to do, and Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as he got swiftly up from her bed. "I'll be like, maybe half an hour. But you can eat my ice cream if it starts to melt."

"Dustin! Don't leave me!"

"Watch the movie!"

And then he was gone, and she was by herself, with only some ice cream and E.T. to keep her company.

Meanwhile, Dustin had found Steve at work. He was insanely hungover - although, the headache and sickness had gone away thanks to Robin and her Tylenol, but the tiredness still remained - and reminded Dustin faintly of a particular zombie in Day of the Dead when he walked into Family Video to find him leaning on the counter. The grim look on his face wasn't so much because of the hangover, though, it was more to do with the fact that he and his girlfriend of nearly two years had broken up half an hour ago, and he'd been forced to go to work.

"If you're here to talk to Steve, I wouldn't. He nearly punched me when I asked him if he wanted Tylenol. And I'm a girl." Robin stopped Dustin at the front door, a serious look on her face, but he shrugged her off.

"It's fine. He won't do anything. Besides, I know what this whole thing's about. That's why I'm here." He tried to walk off again, but Robin grabbed his upper arm, tugging him back and making him elaborate.

"Is it Y/N? I think there was a fight between them or something. He’s never looked this rough.” Robin looked concerned, and she was. She’d never seen Steve so upset before. “He was crying when he came in.” She added.

Dustin shrugged, “Yeah, I’m gonna talk to him. He’ll be fine tomorrow.” He decided not to give Robin any more information on the situation in case Y/N or Steve would've gotten mad at him for it.

"Henderson, hey." Steve said quietly when he noticed that Dustin had entered the store. He looked like he'd been crying, and Robin was definitely right when she said he’d never looked rougher. "If you're here to hang out-"

"I'm not here to hang out, Steve. We have to talk." Dustin crossed his arms sternly over his chest, raising his eyebrows and nodding his head in the direction of the store room. Steve grumbled and complied, unlocking the door and ushering Dustin inside.

"You have to apologise."

"Apologise? Apologise for - what exactly are we talking about?" Steve rubbed a hand exhaustedly over his face, leaning against a sealed box of movies that he was supposed to have put away by now.

"You know what for, Steve. Y/N. You hurt her. Like, really badly. I don't think I've ever seen her so upset." Steve already wanted Dustin to stop, but he continued, really wanting him to get the message of just how hurt his sister was. "She cried in her room for half an hour before she even let me talk to her, and now she's at home by herself, probably crying some more because you went to a stupid party. I mean, seriously man, couldn't you just have stayed home? What was so important about it?"

Steve threw his head back and hid his face with his hands, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He knew that he'd been a dick, he knew that he'd hurt her, but, Jesus, knowing the details made his heart flip in his chest and his stomach hurt. He hated seeing Y/N upset at the best of times, nevermind when it was his fault.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should've just left it. Jeez, Dustin, I'm such an asshole."

"Yes. An asshole, you are. And what was that other shit? About you kissing Nancy?"

"I didn't kiss Nancy, okay? My drunk mind just kinda...made me believe that I did. I called her today just to confirm." Steve swallowed, suddenly having the nausea of his hangover coming back to him.

"Does Y/N know that?" Dustin had his arms crossed, back against the wall, looking unimpressed as Steve shook his head. "Seriously man? Don't you think that the first thing you should've done after finding out that you didn't actually cheat on your girlfriend, was tell your girlfriend that you didn't actually cheat on her?"

"My head's all over the place, Henderson. Cut me some slack, okay?"

"You have to come say sorry, you know that, right?"

"I will. I will, I promise. I finish in an hour, why don't you go home, I'll buy some flowers, take a shower and get changed, and I'll come chap on your door like none of this even happened." Steve had suddenly perked up, gesturing with his arms and almost getting excited to initiate his plan.

"Yeah. Sure. But it better be good, Harrington. You better make her happy."

Steve didn't even have time to respond before Dustin was running off, getting on his bike, and cycling back home to his sister. He promised himself internally that he'd do all it took to make her happy.

Y/N had finished her ice cream and Dustin's had started to melt by the time he got home. She hadn't cried any more, had been too focussed on the movie, and Dustin was relieved to see her laughing at something on the screen when he entered her bedroom.

"Hey." She smiled. "Your ice cream's melting, you'd better eat it."

Dustin smiled and bellyflopped onto her bed, sending her into a fit of laughter. They both laughed so hard, in fact, that they barely heard the doorbell ring, and Dustin almost got up to go and get it.

He stopped himself though, not wanting Steve to call him an idiot or something along those lines. "You should go. I have to eat my ice cream before it melts." He said sheepishly, sitting back down from where he'd jumped up. Y/N rolled her eyes and threw the pillow that she was holding at Dustin's face.

"Alright, make your sad sister get the door because you have to eat ice cream." She stood up even as she spoke, knowing that Dustin wasn't going to budge. "Nice one, asshole."

Y/N had left her bedroom before Dustin could retaliate, bounding down the stairs and realising that, if anyone saw her the way that she looked now, they'd probably never respect her again. The doorbell went again, and she sighed quietly at the lack of patience from whoever was on the other side.

She - stupidly - didn't even bother to look out of the window that stood next to the door to check who it was before opening it, and nearly closed it again when she realised who was standing there.

"Hey, woah, don't close the door yet!" It was Steve, his eyes widened from the possibility that he'd come all the way to her house so that she could slam the door in his face, holding white lilies and a box of chocolates, which was - in Y/N's opinion - the cheesiest apology ever. "Just...listen? For like, a minute."

She slowly let her hand slide off of the door knob, watching as Steve relaxed a significant amount even from seeing her do that. "A minute." She crossed her arms over her chest, chewing her cheek. "You have a minute."

"Okay, uh, yeah, okay." Steve began his rambling. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have gone to that party, I know I shouldn't have gotten so drunk that I managed to convince myself that I kissed Nancy. Did I already say that I didn't actually kiss Nancy? I called her, and she said we didn't even speak. Bottom line is, I'm an asshole. I know that, and I hate myself for hurting you. Dustin told me how upset you were and I...I couldn't even comprehend the fact that I did that."

He paused, looking down at his feet and waiting for Y/N to say something. Something that didn't come, she simply stood, looking at and biting her fingernails, trying to figure out whether or not she should give in and forgive him or not, so he stopped waiting and spoke some more.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I love you so much. And I know that I fucked up, and I don't expect you to forgive me-"

"Steve." Y/N stopped him. He looked up at her, expecting that she'd look upset or annoyed, but she was smiling and shaking her head. "Come here."

"Seriously?" He already wished he hadn't said what he did before he'd even finished speaking. Seriously? What kind of thing to say was that? "I mean, you know-"

She was already hugging him before he could finish speaking. She knew that he'd ramble on for hours if he could, but she also knew that she already forgave him and didn't need to listen to his rambling. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"Oh, thank God. I thought I'd lost you, really, I did." He sighed into her hair, realising that he was probably ruining the bouquet of flowers with the way that he was crushing them against her back.

"Well, you were an asshole. You had every right to think you'd lost me." Steve had always loved her subtle sassiness, it was a habit that she often fell into unknowingly, but it made him chuckle.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I was an asshole."

She let go of him, finally, and stood back. He was wearing his light blue jeans, a black t-shirt and belt, with a blue jacket. It was an outfit that she'd seen him in before, quite a few times, but he never failed to look good in it anyway. His hair was slightly amiss, as though he'd gotten ready as quickly as he could - which was true, but she didn't know that for sure - but it still had his Steve 'the hair' Harrington charm.

"So, can I come in, or are you just gonna stand there and mock me?" He grinned and she stood to the side, allowing him to join her in the hallway. He went straight for the kitchen, taking out a vase and filling it up with water, then placing the flowers in it and leaving it on the kitchen counter.

"I didn't say you could-" She was trying to joke with him, but he didn't seem to care much, as he cut her off by dipping his head towards hers and kissing her passionately. He hated to admit it, probably something to do with the small part of his King Steve persona that he still carried around with him, but he'd missed her, and it had only been a few hours.

"Woah, easy tiger." Y/N laughed, pulling away when Steve's hands started to travel downwards. "We haven't even properly spoken yet."

"Yeah. Sorry." Steve said sheepishly. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and smiled down at the floor. "Do you wanna talk?"

She shrugged. "Not particularly."

"So, really, it's okay for me to do this," He closed the gap between them again, beaming at her while he searched her face for any sign of disapproval and admired the little flecks of contrasting colours that danced in her eyes. And then he kissed her again, lips soft against her own, gentle - something that wasn't widely believed, Steve Harrington was actually one of the most gentle people that Y/N had ever met.

"Well, yeah." She grinned, breathless. "But I'm sort of in the middle of watching a movie, wanna join?"

And so they spent the rest of the day, wrapped in the blankets on Y/N's bed and Y/N wrapped in Steve's arms, watching movies that Dustin fished out from the cabinet under the TV that Y/N didn't even know that they had.

She had to say, Steve's apologies were often cheesy and terrible, but this one wasn’t so bad as it was enjoyable.

[meditating-dog-lover]

Health and Fitness Updates (04/03/2021)

11 weeks into my health and fitness journey.

I have some great news - my family is buying a house! That's amazing given that we were never able to live in a permanent home before, and I haven't lived in an actual "cozy house"since 2009. I am definitely looking forward to this.

I've been working out every week, never skipping a workout and pushing myself as hard as I can (without injuring myself of course). I am doing HIIT and lifting weights, the usual.

I've gotten great results even after just 7 weeks. It's incredible. I am on week 11 into my health and fitness journey and I am waiting until week 16 to take more photos and compare my before and afters to assess my progress. I really hope to see more changes. I know it takes several months to reach a goal but I'm here eating healthy and working out for however long needed. I'll keep it up for the entire year (till December probably haha). For the next 5 weeks I'm going to be focusing on challenging myself with weight lifting. I want to push myself without hurting myself of course.

Outside of exercise, I have a very very very busy academic schedule. I am working several hours a day (feels like 6 hours or more a day). That is being combined with my fat loss and my intense workout routine. So of course, I'm getting pretty hungry!! I'm eating more than I did last month or 2 ago. I'm not binging or eating to the point of sickness. I don't have cravings and I am not eating unhealthy. I just have an increased appetite. I am eating more but I am trying to keep it healthy of course. I know I am naturally craving more food so I know that won't deter my progress. Keeping it clean and whole won't do that. If I ended up binging on junk food and lots of processed sugars and processed carbs, I know that will be stored as fat.

Good and healthy food is a source of fuel. So I should definitely eat if I'm hungry. I'm so busy with school and I graduate this year. I just want to get as much academic work done each day as I possibly can do.

I feel like my schedule will be lighter by next Friday. Really my schedule will be much much lighter by mid May. But April is a month where I have to keep working and keep pushing.

My mom and brother have been vaccinated. My dad is coming to visit us (after not seeing him for 2 years because of COVID) and he will get vaccinated. I am so happy I get to see him. We are all going to have a great time here together. I do plan on getting vaccinated in the future but I am skeptical of the vaccine because it is so new. No I'm not an anti-vaxxer, there's a difference. I want to do my research and see how it affects my family before I take it.

An old friend I knew since 2007 reached out to me recently, which was really nice. I never really had many close friends who I can speak to about anything about, but she was one of them. I definitely want to socialize more but there are people you can be good friends with. But not close best friends with. I don't have many close friends but I have a lot of acquaintances.

Eventually I will start driving again. I will have to if I want to go to work and get groceries when I move. I can drive and I am a good driver, but I don't drive much and I do have mild anxiety. But I'll get the hang of it.

Since January, I've been taking really good care of myself. I've been eating better, exercising more holistically, drinking lots of water and cutting out tea and coffee (I haven't had a cup of coffee since December), taking vitamins, taking care of my teeth, skin and hair. I feel healthy and I look very healthy. My hair is shiny, my teeth are super white, and my skin is rosy and glowing. I feel my multivitamin supplement really helped with this. Though my sleep schedule is a mess. But you can't blame me for that given that I have to work from home so my schedule is super messy. It will get better once I can work in person (hopefully by the summer and fall).

I'm in the process of achieving a lot of the goals I set for myself in December. Though to be honest I do want to be in a serious and committed long-term relationship soon. I'm intimidated by dating and men in general but I should be able to find a good person to be with. I don't appreciate being perved on and harassed frequently by creepy men so I hope to find someone good in the future. But I'll definitely stand up for myself whenever I have to (and I have before).

I stopped indulging in history, literature, and movies (sad face) because I really had to focus on my health (mental, emotional and physical) and my academics. I'll go back to that stuff this summer hopefully.

I hope everyone has a great week.

~HEALTH IS WEALTH~

[pbandjesse]

Oops I deleted my post. Thankfully I was only talking about last night and hadn't really gotten to write much of the day because I keep getting distracted.

I'm really glad to be in bed. I'm very tired. And I don't feel 100% but I do feel a lot better than I did yesterday. Today was really a good day and I do feel very happy.

Last night was a different story though. I was miserable and I couldn't sleep. I ended up going through Facebook and try and figure out who was married for my graduating class. Because this year is 10 years since I graduated from high school. Which is Wile to think about. I can't believe that that used to actually matter. My people would have reunions and things. You couldn't pay me to go to a reunion for my high school. And then I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible pain. It was like a charlie horse from my side all the way down my leg. I got up a few times cuz I thought I was going to be sick. I was up for a while and eventually I was able to take a Motrin and feel okay enough to lay down. But I was still in pain. James is 1000000 degrees all the time so his body heat lulled me enough to go back to sleep.

I woke up briefly when James was leaving for work. I didn't even feel him get out of bed. But he came and gave me a hug before he left. I really needed to keep sleeping though.

I let myself sleep in until almost 10. And that's been kind of normal right now just because it's cold and I'm tired and haven't been feeling good so I haven't been sleeping well. But it's not like I had a lot to do today. I got up and I got dressed. I had a bagel. I watched videos. I'm most of them watching those SCP read through ones and I've been really enjoying those. They're the perfect amount of Creepypasta but they don't have to have a conclusion which is always the weakness in a creepypasta. So it's been very nice just Mindless sort of creepy and fun.

I left here around 11:30. I biked over to dickblick to get Sharpies for the kids. Which are way more expensive than I thought they were. But ended up getting a great deal on 12 pen Sharpies for like $7. The woman said they were actually mislabeled because they should have been $12 but I want out in the mist occurring and she still let me have the price.

I left there and I went to 7-Eleven. I got lunch. And then I grabbed the bus to go to work. When I got there I found that a whole bunch of stuff I've been knocked over in our storage closet. I went to go talk to coach Banks who sort of runs lunch time. But parent was yelling at him about her child being suspended. So I noped out of there. I found another t-shirt at all. But I just cleaned it off it was fine. I ended up having a funny conversation with health aid because she wasn't sure if I was a student or a teacher. And I explained who I was. And she was just like I've never seen you here before. It was cute.

I found some new organizational tools for our cart. So now each table has their own basket with their own supplies in it. So there'll be no more arguing. So is very proud of myself for that and then me and Chelsea were able to just chill. There wasn't a lot that we needed to do.

And we had a really nice day. It was really small class today we only had about 11 by the end. Just with the snow that was coming in and there's cheerleading tryouts in basketball practice. I think the robotics team also just started up again. But that was nice. It was nice to just be able to connect with the couple kids that were there on a one to one level. And they made good art and that was really nice to see. We talked about foreground middle-ground and background. And how you can use line weight to show those different distances.

We also have the art store today. And the kids are already raised enough money to have a pizza party. I was very proud of them for donating to each other. And they got to have a cool thing over it. Will probably save it for next week. But I'm so very proud of them.

When I woke up this morning it was very heavy on my heart but I wanted to talk to Damien's mom. When he was brought to our class for the first time. The couple days before. I was warned that he was really tough to have in class. That he was on the Spectrum and that teachers found him very difficult. But his mom is great and that if there was ever an issue she would come and get him right away and not to worry about it. But that's not been my experience with Damien. He's wonderful. He's a sweet loving little boy. Sometimes he has breakdowns. Sometimes he can't focus. But he is always first to help me and he has a really sweet temperament. And so I really felt like I needed to say something to his mom today. She came early to pick him up because his sister was doing some kind of presentation at an event. And I pulled her aside and I was like Hey I just really want to let you know how much I enjoy Damien. And I told her everything and she started crying and gave me a hug. And you can just tell she works so hard with those two kids. She's a really good mom and I'm glad that Damien was able to be in our class. He's a good boy.

We finished up today. We did vocab in Jeopardy Style. Where they had to say the definition and then someone else had to give the vocab word in the form of a question. Only about half of them understand that but it was so fun. We played a game and then we wouldn't have snack and then it was time to go home. Me and chelsi got to get out of there by 5:30 which was awesome.

I got the bus and I was able to get back to my apartment only a couple minutes after 6. I packed up some stuff for dinner and then I went to James's place. He made Tex Mex and use some of the stuff that I brought with me. And we watched videos and we talked. He explained the game he made to me. Which has a whole lot of numbers in it is hard for me to get but seems to have a really nice system of rolling dice that I hope this DND friends enjoy. And we hung out for a while. And we talked. And then he walked me home.

It had started snowing and he likes walking in the snow so it wasn't completely one-sided. We just enjoy each other's company and we talked and had a nice walk back to my apartment. He said goodbye and he went back to his.

When I got here I checked the mail and Not only was my new rabbit phone case here. The old one was very matted and I wasn't able to brush it out like I was hoping. My new reindeer Furby arrived as well. I'm not sure what to name him yet but he's very soft. He doesn't seem to work. His he won't turn on. But that's okay. He's still very cute. He'll probably get packed away with the Christmas ornament ones as well once the winter is over so he'll be a nice new face to have out next year.

I'm in bed now. Just enjoying that it's actually nice and toasty in my bedroom for once. I'm going to plug in my phone though because it's dying. And then I'm going to try to go to sleep. I am working at constellation all day tomorrow and I'm hoping to do lesson plans. And then me and James are going to go see a play about Johnstown. And I am really looking forward to it. Because I love Cults. Especially murder cults.

I hope you all sleep great tonight. I hope that your animals are nice to you. And that you have a really nice day tomorrow. Good night everyone.