#been drunk..... bc he was a god.... and now hes a demon as well so ?? kfjhudgjdf ALSO cannot drink or eat so thats . a thing

[bcneheaded]

artemis + inebriation spell from a disatisfied powerful entity that was unable to HARM artemis due to his Non Violence charm he has on his shop (safe point like in games jgjfgdf) but resorted to something just inconvenient and probably would sully his reputation ever so slightly.... petty karen entities be like anyway your muse coming to the shop ... wondering why its closed so early (... the word early is relative esp because his shop is almost ALWAYS open--) so they go in and end up essentially taking care of this millennia old demon under a drunken spell

[cdyssey]

Agatha All Along (1.03) Reactions:

Teen: “I’m 100% positive they’re asleep.” Okay, I’ve been spoiled and I know he’s Billy Maximoff, and oh my godddddd!!!!! Asleeeeep, not dead!!!!!!!!

I wonder if we’ll see a flashback to Agatha’s first time on the Road before the show’s over.…

Whatever Kathryn Hahn is doing with her hand movements is A+++. It's so elegant and involved, like she’s constantly casting a spell.

“No, this came from Talbots—you can’t have it!” I would dieeeee for Mrs. Davis/Hart.

YES, YES, YES, I’M OBSESSED WITH THE TROPE OF ROOMS/SPACES THAT ARE PSYCHOLOGICALLY PRIMED FOR A SPECIFIC PERSON!!!! This one seems to be Jen’s.

their bougie fits are sooooooooooo good.

Jen: “Did you know she traded her own child for the Book of the Damned?” […] “They say no one knows what happened to him. They say he might be dead. Others say he might be a demon or an agent of Mephisto.” [...] “I doubt she’d even recognize her own son if he showed up at her doorstep.” YEAH, BABY!!!!!! fully don't believe this is how it happened, BUT that this is what others know of Agatha is so good.

her mythology is far reaching and infamous and easily digestible because Agatha leans into it. but when is the last time someone knew the real Agatha? who is she beneath all her many performances, layers, and masks? it's not that she's been a saint the whole time—because she most certainly isn't. she's categorically been selfish, vain, and evil, BUT what coexists along with those epithets? What keeps Agatha from being a cartoonish, one-dimensional villain?

Surely, part of it has to be grief. And as Wandavision taught us, what is grief if not love persevering?

love Alice and Teen bonding. ;w; 

Agatha laying on the back of the couch like that. Gay gay homosexual gay 🏳️‍🌈

Ughhhshsh, and I don’t like that mrs. hart has technically drunk TWO fucking glasses of poison. 

“I’m gonna shove it down your gullet, so help me.” JAKLIOAJIOJSO

“On the upholstery?!” AIOJIOJDIOJAIJIJWJS, this is the funniest fucking show

YES, AGATHA REFUSING TO LET TEEN DRINK THE POISON. FUCK YEAH. I LOVE WHEN EVIL WOMEN HAVE A SOFT SPOT. God, and you just know she suspects that he’s her son.

“Ugh, it’s so cheap.” I love her so fucking much

FUCK, MRS. HART HALLUCINATING WANDA CHOKING HER HUSBAND UAHBFHHSH!!!!!!!

I love that we’re getting insight into the coven’s fears as well—it would have been so easy to just sort of let their interior lives fall by the wayside, but AAA is, like, NO, you will see this women!!! You will know them!!!!

THE PRIEST TRYING TO DROWN JEN GODDAMN

Also, it was such a good writing choice to have Agatha delay her portion because now we KNOW to expect her to be suddenly crippled by her fear, and when it hits, it’s going to hit HARD.

Agatha being gentle with Lilia after seeing her hallucination reaction. ;w;

Loved that agatha/lilia called jen’s bluff about her products haha. also that Jen's whole thing is a parody of GOOP, which is even funnier bc of Gwyneth being in the MCU. JSKJKSLJLD.

While I was in the middle of a traumatic hallucination? No, Agatha, I did not.” JISJAIOJOISJOA, I love that jen and agatha are always at each other’s throats. Hot, actually

AGATHA HEARING A BABY CRYING GODDAMN. THE HORROR AND DEVASTATION ON KATHRYN HAHN’S FACE AS SHE LIFTS BACK THE BLANKET. AUHGHHHSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HER DOING THIS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COVEN UAHQHUHUSJ!!!!!!

And what I love most is that compared to the rest of the coven’s hallucinations, agatha’s is relatively tame, BUT we know from Jen—(even if we don’t know the full story)—that agatha has already lived through her worst fear, and that she continues to live through it every fucking day

GET MRS. HART’S HAIR GODDAMMIT. I HATE YOU ALL JSIOJAOIJIOSJOI

“It’s green, Teen.” JSKSIOJIOAJOIS

So the priest stole Jen's magic...

“I have always hated you. But I left you alone because what you were doing was important. Not this Kale Kare crap, the real work… They can take your power, Jen, but they can’t take your knowledge.”  YES YES YES YES YES YES Y SY YES!! Agatha speaks to Jen's greatest insecurity. ;w;

NOW THEY REMEMBER MRS. HART

Agatha being so fucking selfish that she won’t let alice go first into the oven is a+++ jSKLIOJOA. like, I think in order for aaa to work, Agatha has to always be a little bit evil. at all times.

GODDAMMIT, MRS. DAVIS

“Who’s Sharon?” IOIOIJOIOOIAJOIJAIOJIOSJOIAJOIAJOIJSIOJAOIJIOAJOIJAOIJIOSJA

SHE'S SO UNSERIOUS

[rei-does-stuff]

Don’t be a coward.

France x America

This gives me an excuse to put my fic abt them here!

Context My France and America aren’t related like most other peoples hcs bc I’m an annoying contrarian

And I find the will they won’t they dynamic, friendly flirting between them a way funner dynamic, they aren’t together but they’re definitely at least a little into each other even if they won’t act on it

UK hates it bc hes hopelessly in love with france even tho she DOES NOT like him in the slightest like at all, like 0% like he is NEVER GONNA WIN HER EVER

Okay? Okay time for the bad fanfic now <3

—

Already the UK found this party atmosphere stifling, being a literal demon from hell usually had its perks but being the only who couldn’t get drunk wasn’t one of them. And god he wished he could drink away the sight before him.

“Oh Amé! You look ridiculous! Do you even know how to wear a tux properly? I swear the only thing you even know how to wear are those ugly sunglasses!” France teased.

“Ugly? Oh now you’re just insulting my poor heart! It’s very fragile, you know?” America said, feigning offense.

“Oh I bet, is that why you can’t even button your shirt properly?” France said as she went close to fix America’s clothes herself.

“Well if you have so many opinions maybe you should just dress me yourself?” America told her with a wink.

“Maybe I should, you’d look a lot better.”

“Oh so I already do look good?”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself, god knows your ego is big enough.” France laughed as she handed America a pocket mirror. “There we go, you look a million times better!”

“Well look at that! I guess ya have some talent!” America said as he looked at himself with France’s mirror.

“Don’t push your luck with me.”

“Oo scary! You could kill me that with that stare!” America teased.

“I hope I can, wipe that smug smile off your face for once!”

“Can’t help it with that priceless reaction of yours Frenchy! Why don’t I get you another glass of wine as a thank you gift? Hm?”

“Oh now you’re just trying to bribe me!” France scoffed.

“I didn’t hear a no!”

“Oh shut up! Hurry up, I don’t like waiting you know? Better make it two, as an apology for having to deal with you.”

“You got it baby!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Can’t hear you, getting your wine!” America called out as he goes off to get France her wine. UK could have sworn he saw her smile a little.

As America went over to the bar he could see the UK glaring at him. “Woah, what’s with the scary look old man?” He asked.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?”

“Did what?”

“Dress all ridiculous! You were trying to get her attention, that’s cheap even for you!” The UK said bitterly.

“Uh? Duh? It worked didn’t it? You sound angry man!” America almost immediately realized what was going on though. Surprising, for him. “Ohh right, you’re like really into France aren’t you? Oh you must’ve been pretty pissed huh? Ha! Oh man, I was wondering why you were creep-watching us you weirdo!” He laughed.

“You’re not funny.”

“She doesn’t think so! Oh don’t look at me like that, I’m not gonna do anything like THAT. I ain’t into French girls.” America said nonchalantly.

“So what’s even the point?”

“Uh? Because I’m a grown ass man who can do whatever the hell he wants. Plus knowing it pisses you makes me wanna do it even more? Maybe I should sleep with her now honestly….Relax! Relax! Stop death glaring at me I’m only kidding!”

“What the hell does she even see in you? You’re a mess!” The UK exclaimed.

“A hot, funny, charming mess! That’s my appeal! Sorry to say but most women aren’t into sad bitter old men dude.” America said.

“I can be charming!”

“Can you though? I mean even Germany can get a date and he’s not even into that crap!” America said, he looked back at France who looked like she was getting impatient. “Ah shit! Gotta run, look man, instead of sitting here brooding and watching us like a weirdo, try to do something! Or I dunno, maybe try getting with someone else cause she is INTO me!” He laughed as he left with the wine.

UK growled seeing them talking, but the twat’s words did kick in, probably wasn’t a good idea to keep staring at him, if he was gonna get France’s attention be was gonna have to try harder…

But for now the sight of them together was making him sick enough to leave, tomorrow though? He’d make sure that American stood no chance against him.

—

Basically UK gets cucked, the fic! Not that great but I haven’t written ch stuff in a bit so shhhhh

[icanneversaygoodbye]

trip 2

Feb 25, 2023. 12am. i started looking at pictures of silken. she felt so unreal. i realised that the relationship i had with her was dead. i had tried to keep alive and resurrect the relationship through the songs i listened to, the images i would look at of her, the letters and messages i would write to her. i got out of bed and felt how cold and skinny i was, and i thought “i was a ghoul.” i experienced strong ego death at this time. i started playing music that reminded me of silken and realised that i had spent only 6 or 7 months with her, but two years pining after her like a sick puppy. i had built up this mental image of her based on memories, songs, and toxic rumination. the person that she was in my head had become largely my own creation, rather than an accurate reflection of who she was as a person. i started to picture her in my head, and what struck me was how empty her eyes looked, which made me start to panic. i thought to myself that she was not the kind and caring person that i thought she was. i didn't really know her true heart the way i knew rachel's. rachel was alive to me, my other ex had stopped being alive to me a long time ago. there was a time where i would send her hella messages when i was drunk, when i knew she would never respond. this was me trying to revive a dead relationship. i had this very strong hallucination where silken was dead and i was desperately shaking her, begging her to wake up again. i got up and went to the washroom. i felt how cold and skinny i was, and i started to think that i was a "ghoul." i kept saying, "i am a ghoul and you are my ghoul bride" in my head to silken. i then decided that there was a dark entity within me that had been feeding off of my negative thoughts and emotions since i was small, and that this being grew stronger when i thought bad shit about silken. at this point, i had forgotten who i was. i tried to remember, but i couldn't grasp onto anything. it was as if i was being swept away by some weird fucked up demonic current. i had a few seconds of lucidity, during which i decided that i would use the trip to exorcise the demon instead of me, as well as all remaining feelings towards silken. i started to speak, but i spoke as if i was the dark entity inside of me. i said, "i am older than any human, i have been inside of you since you are a child, i hate humanity, i cannot stand humanity, and you cannot defeat me." every word i spoke conjured up very horrific images in my head. i closed my eyes and felt myself going through a long tunnel. i landed in what i thought was the stomach of a demon that was also a nightclub for demonic creatures. they were screaming at me, "you thought this would be fun, didn't you? now we're going to show you how we get down!" i pictured silken in a casket, but the casket was a subway car. i jumped into the casket and said "let me die with you!" this kind of stuff went on for about an hour. it felt like an eternity.” but the demon entity showed me that it was weakened when i worshipped god and when i showed/received loved from others. the darkness also told me that it would try and infect others. i tried to hang on to my own thoughts and said that i would try and exorcise the darkness with this trip. 

i felt at some point, the trip devolved to the point where meaning, language, everything just broke down into the fundamental units of consciousness. i felt like i was in a primordial soup of consciousness. i kept trying to think of God, and i kept trying to make sense of what was going on, figure out what it all meant to me as a Christian. but i kept getting swept the fuck away into existential disorientation. it’s impossible to describe. it is disorienting in a spirtitual, mental, and emotional way. i felt the breakdown of all of those realities. i was very frightened. there were points in the trip when i doubted god’s existence bc i could not feel him and i could not understood why he had made us with the ability to feel these things. i read psalm 143, and this marked the start of my trip reversal, perhaps of the passage’s spiritual power, perhaps bc the shrooms were wearing off. i thought that woman who promotes shrooms on youtube, julianne keu, was the devil, and that i could defeat her if i busted a nut while masturbating to her. then i decided to tell people that everything i had experienced, i had seen in a dream: “i had seen a demon who told me this that this that, and that he told me he was weakened by this and that, and that he went away when i recited verses 11-12 of psalm 143. and as a result of this, i am left with two thoughts: god is more powerful than we can ever imagine (which i felt profoundly during first two trips) and evil is very real (i felt that all evil is connected). only went to sleep at 8am. 

this is what i wrote trying to make sense of it: "What if people with seizure disorders are somehow more in touch with the divine? Or perhaps God works through the same structure as seizures, so that they and experiences with God can easily be confused for one another? Yes, after doing a demonic dosage of shrooms, i think that is what it is. I just felt like i went through hell, but i know i didn't. Whether it's seizure visions or shroom hell, our brains can only give us pale facsimiles of what spiritual life (being w God) and spiritual death (being apart from God) really are. There is another reality, a spiritual reality which transcends this life. God gave us personalities for a reason, and we will keep them after death, for they are separate from but attached to our souls. I feel that God is a being who mastered all of physical and spiritual reality and wants to save us from the hell of absolute chaos, which he tamed. He made us in his image in that we were originally spiritually sober, seeing the truth, but with original sin, we became drunk. The spiritual and the physical, which were once united (each eternal) were separted, with death introduced into physical reality and spiritual reality. According to a plan only God knows, the physical cannot be saved from death. But He wants us to be saved spiritually, so He sent Christ. The free will paradox is still unsolved, tho CS lewis is on the right track. There is a higher spiritual reality which seizures, drugs, etc can only offer pale glimpses of. God brings order. We know this is not all just in our brains bc just like we are bigger than cells, God is much bigger than us. To him, we might as well be cells,  but he loves us. Sin is just putting the self ahead of God, trying to become God. It is like a cell wanting to be greater than us, if we loved that cell and were united with him. It is pride. Sin is thinking we can transcend our humanity and conquer chaos like God did, so that we may become his equals. The forbidden fruit was the spiritual equivalent of shrooms or lsd. Once we ate it, we saw a different spiritual plane and could not go back to how we were. This is a metaphor for evolution and its cognitive effects. God loved us too much to let us be apart from Him, so sin was infinite bc God's love is infinite. But He already had a plan. We chose independence/free will or its illusion over Him, but God even used this for His will and our good. I think people are antennas and brain disorders or drugs allow us to tune into diff frequencies than we normally can access. Thus, spiritual and neurological phenomena cannot easily be distinguished. That night, i think i received a demon signal that surged through me and caused a dark entity to rise to the surface and possess me. Or perhaps the ego death primed me for this demon signal or possession."

two biggest lessons:

- God is very real, and he is very powerful, and i must seek him. He is something that is much more potent than a psychedelic, and i can experience everything i can with shrooms or acid with Him, if only i rely on him and not on drugs.

- Evil is also real, something left me that day (a demon? emotional demon?) and i cannot risk having it come back, nor can i risk feeding and growing something like it inside me again. so i cannot hate others like i used to.

[concubuck]

What happened after the succubus left? How did Al finally manage to, let's say, bring himself down to "normal"?

Instead of answering this normally I just wrote a fic bc that's more interesting. Follow up to this fic.

(It bears clarifying that the person who left wasn't a succubus. She's a normal human sex worker—just one that's had a few centuries of experience marketing specifically to succubi. She just does this for the money, not because she's got a succubus's biological need to fuck.)

This fic takes place several weeks after the last one, during which time Alastor's finally hauled himself outside to seek more extreme solutions and go to the doctor. I plan to write that scene later but tl;dr the doctor visit goes like "you say you're fucking? but you're STILL horny? damn bitch i dunno that's supposed to work, your bloodwork looks normal idk what's wrong 🤷"

I've only very loosely proofread this, so I apologize for any typos and/or incoherency.

✨💖 Alastor figures out how to orgasm 💖✨

Warnings for attempted & referenced sexual assault/rape, alcoholism, and horrendous hygiene (both personal & environmental).

###

Alastor didn't think he'd been sober for the last two weeks.

He hadn't drunk like this since the seventies, when the weight of Hell had been too heavy for him to bear, and he'd spent most of his time trying to artificially hasten the arrival of Armageddon via serial blackouts. With the dispassionate distance with which he could now scrutinize his former human life, he could tell now that he'd spent the seventies wanting to die.

He didn't want to die now, did he?

No, he didn't. Not after he'd fought so hard to live again. He just wanted to stop feeling like this. God, he'd give anything to stop feeling like this.

The short reprieves granted by whiskey dick were the only thing keeping him going. The reprieves were irregular—he'd been lied to about how much alcohol would dampen his libido. And they were impossible to really enjoy—by the time he was drunk enough to stop feeling his constant arousal, he was also too drunk to feel anything else. But any port in a storm.

He'd started making rare trips out of his temporary quarters; first to try to find solutions to his problem, then to ask for help. Today, on his way home from the doctor, he stopped in at a bar for the first time since he'd changed. He couldn't keep asking for extensions on his new succubus stipend forever. Soon he'd lose his free housing and his one source of income, and he'd have to make a choice: either he had to get a job, or he had to return to getting his food and lodgings the way he had for the last eighty-five years—by using the Radio Demon's reputation to terrify people into giving him what he wanted for free. One meant trying to get stable employment while too horny to function; the other meant returning to the limelight and letting all of Hell see he was too horny to function; and both meant he had to get used to being out in public again. If he was going to have to be horny in public anyway, a bar was as good a place as any to start.

So he found a dive, claimed a booth—letting the shadows and seats form a flimsy shield between his wretched body and any curious customers—and grimly got to work drinking himself into a stupor.

###

"You doing alright there, sweetheart?"

Alastor didn't register the fact that he was supposed to be "sweetheart" until somebody shook his shoulder. He swatted the hand away irritably and sat up; he hadn't even realized he'd laid his head down amongst his empty glasses. "What?" he croaked.

"You alright there?" the sinner repeated. He was some kind of mammalian sinner with a twitchy, nervous snout, a buzz cut, and a t-shirt displaying the Monopoly Man with a no doubt witty caption that Alastor couldn't focus on well enough to read.

"Fine. I'm just..." He couldn't think of any excuse that didn't sound pathetic. He was sure he looked pathetic; huddled up in a sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants like he was too sick to dress himself. He'd thought the loose pants would be more accommodating to his perpetual boner, but they really just gave it more room to tent up. They weren't even a matching set of sweats. He didn't even have shoes on. He rubbed his eyes and asked, "Am I being kicked out?

"No, no, sweetie. Nothing like that. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." The sinner spoke with the sort of soft baby tone used to soothe small skittish animals. "Maybe you need help home?

Not even blackout drunk would Alastor trust that line. He'd been in Hell too long.

His mental image of himself shifted from sickly invalid to sexy victim. He realized now how he really looked—a sex demon (translation: a being undeserving of humane treatment and designed only to fuck you), face flushed and forehead sweaty and eyes glazed with arousal, sitting awkwardly to accommodate his boner, too wasted to stay awake in the middle of the day, all alone. Easy prey. Cheap meat.

Did he care?

No.

So what if Mr. Monopoly wanted to use Alastor's body? Alastor didn't want to use it. If Alastor could let him take it off his hands permanently, he would. Mr. Monopoly could certainly borrow it.

"Sure." He slid out of the booth and got to his feet. The sinner had been practically bent double over Alastor, crowding him into his seat, one hand on the seat back and the other hand extended to help him up; but when Alastor stood, the sinner took a hasty step back, retracting his hand. Why? Because Alastor hadn't accepted the hand? Because the sinner hadn't expected his pretty drunk "sweetheart" to be so tall—or male? Because he'd recognized Alastor as the Radio Demon?

That was a problem for the sinner and his Uncle Pennybags shirt to deal with—but it certainly wasn't Alastor's problem. He was leaving, with or without company. He trudged toward the door, stumbling slightly on an uneven floorboard and clinging to the back of a booth seat for balance.

And then an arm slid around his waist to squeeze his hip, pulling him close to the sinner's side; even through Alastor's sweater, the arm felt so fleshy and human that he compulsively hitched up his shoulders and lifted his hands from revulsion at the mere possibility of brushing naked skin.

"Careful, sweetie. Don't want you getting hurt," Pennybags said, and Alastor was too tired to laugh at him. "You're in a bad shape, aren'cha?"

"I'm not that bad," Alastor insisted, noting distantly that the sinner's grip redirected Alastor's walk to force him to stumble over the sinner's feet and lean on the sinner for support.

"Maybe you should come home with me, so I can make sure nothing happens to you while you sober up," Mr. Monopoly went on, as if Alastor had never spoken. "It'd be a shame if something happened to you—especially pretty as you are." The hand on Alastor's hip slid down beneath the hem of his sweater to possessively squeeze one of Alastor's ass cheeks.

Something surged up from Alastor's groin into his chest—like an underground coal fire suddenly erupting into open air, dark mining shafts that had previously only belched dirty smelly smoke now erupting bright geysers of fire. 

He stopped and seized the sinner's shoulder, squeezing tight. He didn't understand why he wasn't ripping the offending arm from its socket.

The sinner tried to keep walking, and only stopped after a couple of tugs revealed that Alastor was rooted to the spot too securely to simply drag along. 

"You don't have anything to worry about," the sinner said warily. He'd tried to move his hand a little higher on Alastor's ass, to just below the small of his back, as if he'd only accidentally grabbed so low. "I'm not gonna let anybody hurt you, sweetheart."

Alastor let out a low, wry laugh that made the sinner tense up against him. "I'm not worried. Don't you concern yourself over me..." his gaze fell on the mascot on the sinner's shirt, "... Uncle Pennybags."

"Uncle what?" Apparently suspecting he'd somehow been duped, Monopoly Man's voice thickened with anger. "Hey, cuntcubus, I'm trying to do you a favor. I'm not about to pay for—"

The sudden slackening of Mr. Monopoly's interest was like a heavy curtain falling on Alastor's mind again, dousing the lights and smothering the air. Alastor wheeled around, grabbed both of Monopoly Man's shoulders, and leaned down into his face. "I do not want," he hissed, "your money."

Pennybags stared up at Alastor in alarm; and then, narrowing his eyes, he said, "Oh yeah? You want this?" Without warning, he slid his hand down Alastor's loose waistband, groping at the shaft that hadn't been flaccid since the last time Alastor chopped it off.

Alastor's knees buckled so dramatically that his height dropped to eye-level with the sinner. He let out a quiet gasp like the sound of a decommissioned radio station turning off for the last time. Alastor didn't remember dying, didn't remember how it had felt. Didn't remember the face of the man who'd shot him. He lost those memories when he lost his humanity. But the look in this sinner's eyes—hungry, lecherous, roving over Alastor's face and throat as if deciding where to bite first—surely that had to be similar to how his killer had looked at him. Surely dying had to feel like this: exhilarating.

"Oh, you like that, bitch?"

Alastor didn't know if he liked it. Certainly it wasn't a very good handjob; he'd had dozens of better ones, not even counting the thousands he'd given himself. But God—it teased at him, taunting him with the possibility of satisfying the craving that had been torturing him for almost half a year. Was that the same as "liking" it? Do you like water when you're thirsty?

He wasn't sober enough to care about the distinction. Instead of answering the question, he growled, "We don't need to go all the way back to your place, do we?"

A filthy leer stretched across the sinner's snout. Alastor felt his member throb in the sinner's grip.

###

They were in a cramped alleyway near the bar. Alastor's back was against a brick wall so rough that its friction on his sweatshirt was enough to keep him from sliding down to the filthy pavement even though Pennybags had Alastor's hooves lifted into the air. The narrow gap between two buildings reeked of years of alcoholic urine and overflowing dumpsters festering in Hell's heat. On the opposite wall, Alastor stared blankly at a mishmash of illegible graffiti, the only bit of which he could discern was two words stacked on top of each other reading "DAWG PISS". If someone bottled the alley's fragrance as a cologne, that was what it would be called.

He could hardly keep track of his surroundings.

There was an electrified shaft of pure gold shoved up his anus.

It sent fluttering sparks dancing through his stomach and bolts of lightning jolting up his spine. He swore it felt so good he almost passed out. All of it felt so good. The oily fingers peeling away his clothing and pawing at his hips and ass and thighs and kthumbing at his nipples. The hot, stinking breath panting on his bare skin and wheezing in his face. The lips and tongue lapping at his neck and shoulders and transferring the taste of Alastor's own unwashed sweat to his lips. The eyes roving across his naked flesh, invisible and yet blazing hot, like the Martian Heat-Ray that turns men into flame.

And then the violating instrument itself, humping up into Alastor's shithole, sweaty hairy balls slapping against Alastor's sweaty hairy ass—and it felt divine. It felt like God Himself descending from heaven to tell Alastor He personally forgave him for ripping the divinity out of his eternal soul, and then puckering up His Lips to plant a sweet, loving kiss right on the ring of Alastor's anal sphincter.

He could feel himself wailing in pleasure; he could hear snips of music playing, chaotic, discordant, only a couple of seconds at a time before switching to another song. He twisted his ankles together behind the sinner's ass and clawed at the back of his stupid Monopoly t-shirt, trying to pull him closer, pull him deeper. He wanted to suck in every last drop of his savior's ambrosial attention. He wanted to devour the sinner's hunger for him.

When Pennybags grunted in pain and muttered "Keep your claws to yourself, bitch," it was like a heavy had passed in front of the sun. The electricity shooting up from the shaft buried in him stopped, leaving him with the nauseating feeling that all he really had was a lump of spongy living meat stuck up his ass.

"Sorry," Alastor said, voice a breathless whisper, hardly discernible from white noise; he let go of Mr. Monopoly, flattening his hands on the brick wall.

"Better," Monopoly grunted, still disgruntled—but approving. The clouds parted. The sunshine returned. Alastor's backbone lit up like the neon signs on Lust's casino strip.

Alastor came so hard he slammed his head back against the brick wall.

His claws dug into the brick wall so hard that a couple snapped. His vision momentarily went black. When his sight cleared up enough for DAWG PISS to swim back into view, the sinner was still hammering his ass like an oil derrick digging for crude.

He came again.

"Shut up," the sinner hissed, clamping a hand over Alastor's mouth to try to silence his screams. "You noisy prick. Do you want the whole fuckin' street to hear us?"

He did, he did, he did. He moaned openly against the sinner's hand, feeling his cheeks grow damp as his tears were caught by the sinner's fingers.

"Oh, you like it that much?" the sinner panted. "Huh? Do you?"

Alastor could feel his nuts tightening again. The sinner was turned on because Alastor was turned on by him. Alastor knew this like a fact despite never being told: the same way he first recognized the smell of fear in someone's sweat; the same way he sometimes instantly knew his shot was fatal when he dropped a deer or man; the same way in Paris during the Great War he'd always known exactly which direction and how far the Eiffel Tower was even though he'd never touched a radio before and didn't even know yet that the Eiffel was a functional radio tower. He knew it like an instinct he didn't know he had. The sinner was turned on by the fact that Alastor into this. He was turned on by Alastor.

He tightened his thighs around the sinner's waist and answered his question with a frantic nod.

The sinner grunted and slammed hard into Alastor's ass.

Alastor saw stars. He'd never dreamed it could feel so good.

He wasn't sure if he came twice more or if was just one long orgasm. When it was over, he was leaning against the wall by himself, his buttocks pressed to the rough brick with a stranger's seed stuck between his ass cheeks, hands on knees, legs trembling, breath heaving, mind reeling. What happened? Why was it different?

It wasn't a great fuck. He'd had great fucks. He'd had the best fucks a desperate succubus with a lot of spare money could buy. But great fucks hadn't satisfied Alastor. This slob hadn't bothered to touch Alastor's dick once they were outside and if he'd ever hit Alastor's prostate it had been a lucky accident. There was nothing special about his dick. There was certainly nothing special about the person that the dick was attached to. It could have been anybody, Alastor was sure of that, and it wouldn't have made a difference.

So why did it make a difference?

"You oughta shave your ass," Pennybags said, buttoning his shorts. "Or get a bikini wax, shit. Nobody wants to fuck your hairy dingleberries."

He was finished? He was leaving? Already? That hadn't even been five minutes. Alastor was picking up stations that hadn't even completed a commercial break during the time they spent screwing.

"That's not all, is it?" Alastor had tasted something close to satisfaction for the first time since his rebirth. He wasn't ready to give it up. He wasn't satisfied yet. 

"What?" Pennybags gave him an irritated look. "You expect me to kiss you goodbye? Fuck." He looked down to see why his shorts weren't zipping (he'd gotten his shirt caught in the zipper teeth), and muttered, "I thought you were drunker." He turned away from Alastor to trudge back toward the street.

"Oh, I want a lot more than a kiss!" Alastor seized Mr. Monopoly's arm, yanked him back, and swung him hard against the alley wall. Half his studio audience groaned "oooh," like an audience watching a boxer get laid flat; the other half squealed with laughter like they'd just watched a Stooge mangle one of his two brothers.

The sinner gasped and coughed, trying to get back the breath Alastor had knocked out of him. "Wh—what—?"

Before he recovered enough to push himself up, Alastor shoved him back against the wall, one hand on each of the sinner's forearms to pin him in place, his knees jammed between the sinner's; gravity tilted sharply, pulling them both toward the wall as though it were the ground, with Alastor on top. At the feeling of the world rotating ninety degrees beneath him, the sinner spasmed like he was waking up from a dream of falling ; Alastor was close enough to him that the lank, greasy hair that had been draped on his shoulders now hung in the sinner's face.

"I said," Alastor repeated, "I want more than a kiss." His hands left the sinner's wrists, creeping up to seize his face roughly, in a parody of a tender hold, one of his broken claws running along his muzzle; but the shadow of his hands remained on the sinner's wrists, still pinning him in place. His shadow's chin jutted over Alastor's shoulder, tongue lolling out to drip smoky drool and lick hungrily at the sweat on Alastor's neck, panting silently.

Alastor went on, "After all, you were so eager to show me a good time—whether or not I wanted one. It's only polite to return the favor!" His audience's uncanny canned laughter echoed between the tight brick walls.

"Fuck," the sinner wheezed. "You're the—the—the Radio—" His stuttering attempt to name Alastor was drowned out by a louder, wicked laugh from the studio audience.

"Just figured it out?" he cooed, fumbling with the button of the sinner's pants. "I would have thought the fact that I play radio stations would have been a bigger clue." His shadow humped eagerly at Alastor's own ass, the semi-corporeal dick using the sinner's seed as lubricant. Alastor arched his back, groaning, pressing his ass against the shadow and his chest against the sinner.

"I thought—fuckin'—you had a phone in your pocket and we were bumping the skip button—?"

Alastor laughed darkly. "How creative." He leaned back to squint drunkenly at the sinner's shorts, trying to figure out why the fly wasn't unzipping. (The sinner's shirt was still caught in the zipper teeth.) With a sigh, he yanked the shorts down to the sinner's calves. 

The sinner used the opportunity to try to clamp his knees together.

"Careful, sweetie," Alastor chided. "Don't want you getting hurt." A couple more enthralled shades slunk out of the shadows, each seizing the sinner's knees and pulling them wide apart. Alastor grabbed his own cock to stroke it back to full hardness—noting in delight that for a moment it had only been half erect. "You don't have anything to worry about." Relying on his own seed to act as a lubricant, grinning triumphantly at the sinner's terrified face—oh, how he'd missed terrifying people!—he rubbed the head beneath the sinner's balls and then rutted experimentally between his ass cheeks.

Something was wrong. It felt like nothing.

No, it was so much worse than nothing: it simply felt like the absence of whatever had been right. That uncurtaining of his mind, the sunlight, the electricity, the taste of divinity. And in the absence of what felt right, everything awful about sex that had been buried bubbled back up. The nausea, the exposure, the vulnerability; his skin crawling so hard it felt like it would squirm off of him and wriggle into the dumpster like a skin-shaped blanket of maggots; the hyperawareness of the proximity of his taint to a stranger's taint, like the way food poisoning cuts your awareness of the world down to a single, interminable, inescapable second of agony.

Food poisoning. That phrase stuck in his mind. Food poisoning. He jerked his hips back.

Maybe he had to keep bottoming? He grabbed the sinner's flaccid cock. Trying to keep a grip on it felt like trying to scoop a slurry of melted flesh out of the acid bath that had melted it. Alastor jerked his hand back, stumbling backward into proper gravity in his haste to get away from the sinner.

Now that Alastor wasn't actively attempting to satiate his needs, his shadow—possessed of the same frenzied appetite but too stupid to know what wouldn't satisfy it—tried to twist around Alastor and reach for the sinner itself.

Alastor seized the shadow roughly and dragging it away from its target, hissing, "Stop it." There was no point. He knew from experience that trying to power through his revulsion wouldn't make any sparks fly. This felt no different from his every other attempt to drag a sinner into some dark alley and take whatever it was he needed. It was gone.

Recognizing the momentary escape route, the sinner tried to push off the wall and, when that didn't fix gravity, scrambled on hands and knees down the wall toward the ground. When he escaped the radius of Alastor's magic back into normal gravity, he slipped off the wall and fell shoulder-first to the ground with a yelp, then scrambled back upright to run.

Alastor allowed his worthless prey to flee, watching despairingly as the sinner stumbled over his own shorts and disappeared around the corner into the street. God, he'd been so close to satisfaction, he knew it, he'd been so close. What had been different?

His shadow despondently pawed at Alastor's groin. Alastor wrenched its hands off, snarling at its empty face until he'd wrestled it back into laying against the wall and passively mimicking Alastor's movements. And then he slumped against the wall as well, too despondent himself to even bother pulling his sweatpants back up.

What had been different? What had been happening when Alastor came (God, the best orgasms of Alastor's life)? What had he been thinking about?

He'd been thinking—he'd realized that Pennybags was turned on by the fact that Alastor was turned on by him. It was a laughable thought—Alastor was struggling to figure out what he had been turned on by, but it sure as hell wasn't that grotesque underdressed fool.

But just remembering his realization made his member twitch again. 

Chase it. The sinner was more turned on when Alastor was "attracted" to him. He'd been attracted to Alastor—(Alastor's hand slid down to stroke himself off)—and that meant... that meant... what?

And then, it had all fallen apart when Alastor had looked in his eyes and saw—no longer attraction—fear.

Alastor was turned on when the sinner was attracted to him.

Everything, everything he'd fucked and been fucked by so far—hands and toys and shadows and tentacles and whores and victims—was at best indifferent to him, at worst terrified. Nothing he'd touched so far had wanted him—until now.

His head swam, dizzy with alcohol and arousal. Another thin rope of seed spurted from his tip at just the thought of that: wanted, wanted, wanted him. Wanted him. Watching Alastor hungrily, gaze and hands roving over his body, like he was the only meal that could satiate the stranger's strange appetite, desiring his body like a starving beast desires a piece of hot, juicy, fresh, fleshy meat—

Alastor came hard again, crumpling to his knees, crying out—and this time there was nobody to muffle his cries. He screamed louder, voice echoing and raw with distortion, thighs spread and hips pumping into his fist, imagining windows overhead opening and heads poking out and passers-by peering in from the street and focusing on him like a pack of wolves circling an injured deer, and he keened louder, as if calling the predators in to feast on him, and he understood then the instincts of the cat yowling in heat.

And then the orgasm faded. He was alone; nobody had seen him. Thank God. He dropped to sit on the filthy ground and slumped against the wall, too exhausted to care about what rubbish he was planting his ass on, moaning as he tried to catch his breath.

He was satisfied.

It felt like a fever had broken. His mind was clear. His cock was going soft in his grip. He was soft. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like. He marveled admiringly at how much smaller his member was when it was off-duty; had he seen it like that since he'd become a succubus? It was over. He was done. He was free. He let out a hysterical, wheezing, relieved laugh.

Something stirring low in his stomach told him it wouldn't last long.

And next time, he wouldn't be satisfied by imagining being watched.

[kamoniwa]

 ⟼ a little madness

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: yokai!kuroo/demon!akaashi/human!reader/werewolf!semi

⇢ au: college!au

⇢ summary: you, your friends, and some friends of your friends all get tricked by one tendou satori into visiting an abandoned amusement park for halloween. it turns out it isn’t ghosts you need to worry about, though.

⇥  kinktober masterlist

⇢ warnings: gangbang, noncon to consensual, lots of reluctance, mind break if you squint?, technical temperature play, unprotected sex, creampie, the boys are real gentle in breaking you down

⇢ word count: 11,695

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: don’t really think noncon is my forte but practice makes perfect. is the pairing self-indulgent? fat yes. does this fic make total sense? not really sure. did i have fun writing it? hell yeah. also big thank you to @ishuzoku​ for helping me come up with the flyer bc my og id was garbage lmao.

Furrowing your brows, you looked at Tendo with a mix of exasperation and unadulterated dismay.

“An abandoned amusement park. On Halloween?” Kaori asked before you could, eyebrows disappearing into her bangs. “You cannot be serious, Tendo.”

If he was put off by your reactions, he didn’t show it. If anything, he was probably relishing in it, and said, “Yes, yes I am. It’ll be fun. Come on, do you really just wanna get drunk at a boring house party on Halloween?”

You snorted at that, stirring your coffee as you said, “As opposed to getting murdered at an amusement park? That’s like, straight out of a horror movie, Tendo.”

“You guys are so boring,” he whined, slumping forward across the table. Shirabu grumbled under his breath, glaring at Tendo as he nudged his drink closer to Shirabu’s textbook. “Look, it’ll be so cool! Exploring all the abandoned funhouses and imagine how freaky the haunted houses will be! Just think about it, okay?”

The looks everyone exchanged said they had and had already made up their minds, but you nodded anyway, if for no other reason than to appease him.

A moment later, your alarm went off and you bid them goodbye, walking towards the door with Shirabu for your next lecture. You were sure as shit not going to an abandoned anything this weekend.

Except somehow, against all odds, you were piled up in the back of Konoha’s car, crammed beside someone who had been introduced to you as Akaashi Keiji. He was a friend of Bokuto’s and Konoha’s and, upon hearing about your adventure, asked if he could tag along. If you had to peg him, he was more the librarian type than a ghost hunter type-- soft spoken and well mannered with pretty blue eyes that closed slightly when he smiled.

In the front seat were Konoha-- driving-- and Yachi, currently fighting with the radio and Konoha’s phone. 

In the car behind you was someone named Kuroo-- also a friend of Bokuto and Akaashi-- Kaori, Goshiki, and Semi-- a friend of Shirabu, Goshiki, and Tendo. Kuroo was almost ecstatic to be going, but Semi had seemed like he would rather be doing anything else as he climbed into the passenger seat of Kuroo’s car.

The car in front contained Tendo, Bokuto, Yukie, and-- god bless him-- Shirabu. You were sure he was losing his mind as Tendo guided him towards the location of the amusement park. The details on how exactly this had come about were lost on you, but you vaguely recalled a drunken bet made two nights ago and a video that Tendo refused to share properly, but assured you was proof that the group had agreed to the terms of said bet and then lost. Spectacularly. Supposedly.

“So, how did you meet everyone?” Akaashi asked, turning to look at you. The scenery outside was turning quickly from civilization to wilderness, the trees growing thicker the further you drove until you couldn’t tell one trunk from the next. 

Humming, you rested your chin in your hand, bracing your elbow on the door. This was the worst part of meeting someone new during a trip-- tedious small talk. But you had to start somewhere, so you said, “I met Kaori in one of our classes and ‘Toka-- er, Yachi--” The girl turned around at the sound of her name and waved. “-- is my roommate. They kind of introduced me to everyone else.”

Truth be told, you weren’t sure how they had become your core group of friends. From loud and boisterous Bokuto to sullen and taciturn Shirabu, you adored all of them, but you had had your own group of friends before meeting them. Most of those old friends had faded from sight as you found yourself absorbed in your new ones and, while a part of you felt bad, it was just a part of life.

“What about you?” you asked, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “How do you know them?”

Konoha snickered from the front seat and Akaashi cut him a glare before turning back to you. “I’ve been friends with Konoha, Bo, and Tetsuro since highschool. Kaori and Yukie were our managers,” he said.

Konoha made a turn onto a road who’s name sign had long since fallen off the rusty pole, and you wondered just how far out you had traveled. It didn’t feel like it had been long since you left, but you recognized nothing around you and there was no sign of life. 

“So, everyone but ‘Toka and I were friends in highschool, huh?” You chuckled. “What are the odds?”

Akaashi laughed with you, fiddling with his fingers as he turned back to look out his window. 

The car was now filled with the sound of music, overtaking the silence that fell between the four of you. Konoha was focused on driving and you knew Yachi was more than a little nervous-- you had almost expected her to back out and accept whatever payback Tendo had planned for it afterwards.

“Do any of you guys know anything about this place?” you asked, leaning forward and resting your chin on Yachi’s seat. Through the windshield, you could see Tendo’s shaved head and Bokuto’s spiky locks in the backseat, and worried for poor Shirabu’s sanity. “How did Tendo even know this place existed?”

“It’s an old legend,” Akaashi spoke up softly. 

Both you and Yachi turned to look at him, the latter’s breath hitching because everyone knew when those words were said, the story was going to be unpleasant.

Konoha cursed as he hit a pothole, muttering Tendo’s name under his breath as he righted the car between the faded lane lines, and Akaashi smiled at that before looking back to you.

“I doubt most people have heard of it,” he began, popping his knuckles one at a time. “It’s more of a local thing, really.”

“Well then how do you know about it?” you asked curiously, quirking a brow. You knew Bokuto grew up in Tokyo, which meant Akaashi had as well, and you were well outside of the city limits.

Akaashi smiled, tipping his head to the side and for the first time there was something other than soft indifference in it. “I enjoy these types of places and legends. It’s a hobby, you might say. This particular amusement park was meant to be scary in nature and didn’t stay open for long due to unexplained deaths and disappearances.”

Yachi squeaked, and you cast her a glance before resting your hand on her shoulder. This was probably not the best story for someone as easily scared as she was, but it was too late now, and you knew there was curiosity beneath the fear.

“That sounds way too vague,” you said, lips curling up at the corners. “That’s what everyone says about places like this. It’s not scary.”

Your skepticism was met with laughter and he said, “True. The police at the time pinned the problems on faulty attractions or poor background checks, saying there must have been a serial killer hired without anyone realizing. Sounds to me like they just couldn’t figure out what was causing it.”

You rolled your eyes, nodding along. If the park was as old as Tendo said, it could really have been faulty attractions, but you weren’t buying the serial killer story. It sounded too far-fetched compared to being crushed by an unstable support beam. 

Akaashi continued, voice dropping in what might have been a scary attempt at atmosphere if the sun wasn’t framing his pretty features in a golden glow behind him. “The locals all said that the place was haunted, too many deaths had built up negative energy, trapping the spirits of those killed there. Unable to escape, they grew angry and the deaths continued until authorities labeled the park unsafe and banned any more visitors. And then--”

“What the hell?” Konoha cut him off, hitting the brakes a little harder than necessary.

Akaashi’s seat belt locked and he grunted, rubbing at the new red mark on his neck as he asked, “What’s going on?”

“Dunno,” Konoha replied, putting the car in park. “Sorry about that. Shirabu is getting out of the car.”

The car behind you pulled up as you were getting out, eyes wide as you watched Tendo lay a map out on the trunk of Shirabu’s car.

“We’re lost,” you said, sighing in exasperation.

A tall figure blocked out the sun in front of you and you squinted up into the face of Kuroo. He was giving you a catlike grin, ruffling his messy rooster hair as he said, “Sure seems that way, princess. This place is in the middle of nowhere. I’ll be surprised if we even find it.” He guided you over to the car where the others were gathered, snickering at the look of surprise on your face. “What?”

“You know about this place too?” you asked, glancing at Akaashi on the other side of the car. He cast you a small, closed eyed smile. “Akaashi was telling us about it in the car.”

Kuroo chuckled, raising a brow at his friend. “Yeah, being friends with Akaashi has its share of hazards.”

“Look, I’m pretty sure we’re here,” Tendo said, interrupting your conversation. He was pointing to a small line that looked just like any other on the map, aside from the major roadways and cities. If he was right, you were a decent ways out of the city and your watch read 1:01pm. “If we just follow this road and then this one, it’ll lead us straight past the village and to the park.”

Shirabu looked skeptical, spinning the map around to look at it as well. He wasn’t exactly wrong but how could he really tell? All the smaller roads looked the same and they couldn’t even confirm the name of the road because there was no sign. It had also been ages since they last saw a house or even another car, so asking anyone was out of the question too.

“This is stupid,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. No one besides Tendo really wanted to be there-- he ignored the fact that Kuroo was just as excited as his weirdo friend to be going and that Akaashi had jumped at the opportunity as well-- and it would be so much easier to just turn around and go to Hinata’s party. “We should just go home before we get lost.”

Tendo frowned at that, sharing a look with Kuroo before saying, “We aren’t lost*. It’s not much further now. Just trust me.”

The others were all inclined to agree with Shirabu, you included, but arguing with Tendo was like arguing with a brick wall-- pointless. He had already tricked you into agreeing to this endeavor and at this point backing out would be both a waste of time and gas. Shirabu was too smart to get lost anyway but, if you were lucky, Tendo was wrong and you wouldn’t be able to find the place at all.

“Do you really think we’ll be able to find it?” Yachi asked once you were safely back in the car. 

Akaashi hummed beside you, but you said, “God I hope not. I was looking forward to Hinata’s party and if we get back quick enough we might still make it.”

Konoha looked at you in the rearview, eyes crinkled as he snickered. “What, are you scared, _____? Afraid the ghosts are gonna get ya?”

Scoffing, you dug through your bag for your phone. A check an hour ago had revealed one bar, but now the words ‘No Service’ blazed across the service banner. “No, I’m not scared. There are just a thousand better things to be doing that than breaking my neck on rusty amusement park rides.”

“Sounds like cowardice to me,” he answered, laughing at you through the mirror. 

Sticking your tongue out at him, you turned back to the window, sighing as the scenery passed by in a blur. Konoha and Akaashi talked a lot about volleyball, Yachi pitching in occasionally. You knew she had managed her highschool volleyball team and knew everyone else in the group to some degree, but most everything sports related went over your head. 

Still, Akaashi made some effort to get to know you, asking about highschool and what classes you were taking. You told him about your major and asked what his was, finding out he was a literature major and constantly busy, explaining why you had never met him before. He, Kuroo, and Semi were the busiest out of all their friends, often skipping out on get togethers in order to study, work, or-- in Semi’s case-- practice with his band.

A little while later, while Yachi and Konoha were having a heated discussion about their favorite subjects, you caught the first glimpse of something besides trees. Turning to look out the windshield, you saw brake lights already lighting up and the car began to slow.

“Well, we found the village, at least,” Tendo said, reading the faded sign displaying the name of the town. “I didn’t expect it to be abandoned too, though.”

Everyone was gathered in the middle of the road, looking down the mainstreet of the village. Windows were busted out and boarded up, paint faded on rotten clapboards, and roofs missing tiles or riddled with holes. The street was littered with potholes and the whole town had an eerie sense of unnatural quiet. Everyone shifted on their heels, slowly making their way back towards the cars without a word and piling in. 

Even Tendo looked unnerved.

The town disappeared behind you but in the distance you could see the towering track of a roller coaster above the treeline. Even from so far away you could see that the paint was faded off of it, the sun filtering through clouds and casting the whole area in shades of grey. To you, it seemed like the forest was darker, the trees packed more closely together, and your heart began to thump in your chest.

“You okay?” Akaashi’s gentle voice asked in your ear. His hand landed on your shoulder, colder than expected, and you shivered underneath his touch. “You look like you’ve already seen a ghost.”

You nodded, looking over to find him giving you a look of amused concern, one corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile. “Just nervous. That town was creepy as hell and it freaked me out a little.”

“Me too!” Yachi squeaked from the front seat, turning around to give you a pleading look. “Don’t you dare leave me, _____.”

Laughter filled the car then and you patted Yachi on the shoulder. “Wouldn’t dream of it, ‘Toka.”

The towering sign for the park appeared up ahead and the car fell silent all over again as brake lights lit up again. Broken glass and gravel littered the parking lot, which was smaller than expected for how big the park looked. 

Everyone seemed to hesitate on getting out of the cars. Tendo was the first, followed by Kuroo, and then Akaashi. Like it was a signal, the rest of you followed, Yachi clinging onto your hand and Kuroo and Akaashi seeming to stand behind you protectively, close enough that you could feel warmth radiating off them.

“Do we really have to go in there?” Goshiki asked, eyeing the ticket booth with disdain. The paint on it, like everything else, was faded, the wood rotten and the window and door busted out. The latter creaked on its hinges, filling the still air with an unsettling noise that mixed with the faint sounds of creaking metal and leaves fluttering in the wind.

Everyone shuffled back towards the cars a little at his question, but Tendo took a step forward, resting his hand on the turnstile. “Since we’re actually here, may as well take a look around.”

Without another moment of hesitation, he hopped over it, peering around with an unusually quiet interest. It was the first time since you had met Tendo that he had nothing to say, his already pale face seemingly devoid of color, making his vibrant, sleepy eyes pop out even more.

Groaning, you, Shirabu, and Goshiki stepped forward, dragging Yachi with you as you climbed over the turnstile as well. You couldn’t just let Tendo wander off into the dangerous park alone. The others followed suit, muffled whispers and conversations floating through the air as they spread out in the area. 

The forest had started taking back over through the concrete, weeds and grass sprouting up through the cracks and pushing the cobblestones up and out of place. Vines of ivy and moss hung from the powerpoles, vendor booths, and some attractions further back, swaying in the gentle breeze. The buildings were dark inside, but through the gloom you could make out mannequins and shelves devoid of merchandise.

The bell dinged on the first one Tendo pushed open-- a souvenir shop. It was empty except for dust and garbage, as were the next few you entered.

Slowly but surely the group made their way further into the park, Yachi clinging onto you the whole time. Akaashi and Kuroo were right behind the two of you, Shirabu and Semi in front, forming a kind of guard while Tendo and Bokuto led the way. Kaori clung to Goshiki, who looked like he was putting on a brave front despite his pink cheeks and the nervousness in his eyes.

For all his grumbling, Shirabu looked interested as he eyed all the buildings and machinery. It was quiet, devoid even of the sound of birdsong or humming bugs, and it unsettled you.

“Oh look, it’s the pirate ship ride!” Bokuto yelled suddenly, breaking the deathly silence.

Everyone jumped, Shirabu hissing at him to shut up while Yukie shrieked, latching onto him. Bokuto had the decency to look abashed but still steered the group towards the derelict platform, testing his weight on the creaky metal stairs on his way up.

The deck of the ship was littered with leaves and dust, the seats worn down and showing stuffing and springs after however many years left in the element. There were signs of rust on the metal and the whole thing shifted slightly to emit a creak.

“Um, Bo, I don’t think that’s safe,” Kuroo called out, grabbing your arm to stop you from following up behind him. 

Tendo and Goshiki were up beside him, examining the boat itself and, before anyone knew it, the former had hopped into it.

“Tendo!” Shirabu called, a trace of panic in his voice. His fingers were wrapped around the railing, paint flakes coming away under his touch hand as he prepared to spring up the stairs, but everyone’s eyes were locked on Tendo’s precarious creep down the middle aisle. “Get out of there before you get hurt, idiot!”

“It’s fine, Shirabu,” he called, now standing at the bow. “It’s kinda cool actually. I can see more of the park from here.”

Bokuto landed with a thump a moment later, a louder creak ringing out than when lanky Tendo had landed, and everyone took a collective breath and held it. 

But as before, it held, and he joined Tendo up by the bow.

“Wow, he’s right!” he called, holding his hand above his eyes like a visor and peering out over the park. It was certainly bigger than he imagined for being in the middle of nowhere. “There’s a house over that way!”

“Probably the haunted house,” Tendo said, straining to see what Bokuto was looking at. In the distance were two stilted, twisted steeples painted in different hues. One was flamboyant and bright, the other dark and dreary, even compared to the state of disrepair of the rest of the park. “I see a funhouse too, I think. Looks pretty freaky. Wanna check ‘em out?”

“Hell yeah,” Bokuto shouted, whipping around to look at the rest of you.

Shirabu looked ready to blow a gasket, and Yachi looked ready to faint, but everyone else looked intrigued. Even you couldn’t help but be a little curious about it, having free range to explore the most interesting rides in the park. Wasn’t it everyone’s dream to be able to see what they were like without restraint? 

The sun was just beginning to fade behind the treeline, turning the clouds a thin shade of orange, but the lure of seeing something interesting had dissolved any real fear.

The two men met Goshiki on the platform and made their way back down to the rest of the group, eyes shining bright with the promise of adventure.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad!” Tendo said as if the stunt he just pulled hadn’t taken years off all your lives. Jumping haphazardly onto a decade old, rusted out death trap attraction at an abandoned amusement park hours from the nearest hospital wasn’t going to earn him any genius awards.

On the way towards the supposed attractions, you came across the carousel. Its metal panels were tarnished, the paint worn away from them and the animals, the mirrors grimy with dirt. Vines and ivy climbed up everywhere. The platform shifted when Kuroo stepped onto it, Tendo hot on his heels followed closely by Bokuto. 

“Let’s go see, ‘Toka,” you said, tugging her forward by the hand. Kaori took your other one, squeezing, while Akaashi guided you with a gentle hand on your back.

“Look at this,” someone said, and you turned to find Semi holding a faded paper. “It looks like a poster claiming someone was kidnapping people.”

“How the hell is it still here?” Konoha asked, peering at it around Semi’s arm. “It should have disintegrated a long damn time ago.”

“Dunno,” Semi said with a frown. Trying to see the paper, you were crowded against Semi by Yachi and Kaori and flinched when you realized how hot he was. “It was wedged in the frame of the mirror.”

The whole thing was faded but still legible, due presumably to being tucked into the mirror, and appeared to be a flyer issued by the park itself.

Due to the recent disappearances, park security has been tightened. Please stay aware of your surroundings and report and suspicious activity immediately.

“You were right, Akaashi,” you said, glancing up at the man standing behind you. “They really did think someone was kidnapping people.”

“A lot of the people were never found,” Semi said, folding the sheet up neatly and tucking into his pocket. “It’s not surprising they thought that.”

“Ohhhh, maybe the bodies are still here,” Tendo said, wiggling his fingers over Konoha’s shoulders. “Maybe it was actually the workers kidnapping people and they kept the bodies in a secret place.”

“Like where?” Shirabu asked, giving him an exasperated, skeptical look. It was getting late and they were wasting time just hanging around. He wasn’t particularly thrilled at the idea of being in the park after dark, going to possibly the scariest attraction in the place, but if they were going to do it, they needed to just get it done. “The authorities probably tore this place apart looking for them.”

Tendo shrugged, looking thoughtful. “Maybe they hid them in the haunted house. Maybe there’s a hidden room somewhere that only the workers knew how to open.”

“Could you not?” Yukie asked, slapping Tendo on the arm. “We’re going there, in case you forgot, pea brain. Way to freak us out.”

Yachi was clinging onto Kaori now, staring at Tendo with wide, frightened eyes and he almost looked repentant.

“Or, you know, could be anywhere. The haunted house would be a pretty obvious place to hide it, wouldn’t it?” he said, rubbing the back of his head. Beckoning to Yachi, she went reluctantly, letting Tendo tuck her under his arm. “Don’t worry, Yach. I’ll protect you, ‘kay?”

You and Kaori snickered at the shade of red her face turned, and Shirabu sighed.

“Can we just get going before it gets too late?” he asked, turning and leading the way down the path. The shadows were slowly lengthening, orange mixing with shades of pink and purple in the sky.

Semi fell into step beside you, Yukie on your other side. Goshiki and Konoha were having a conversation about the derelict rollercoaster to the right, and you allowed your attention to drift to it. It was eerie, the faded paint and rusted metal tracks looming like a foreboding beacon above you. Staring the way you were, your foot caught a displaced cobblestone and you went sprawling with a yelp.

Before you could smack the ground, a strong, warm hand wrapped around your upper arm and hauled you back up. It hurt, causing a sharp ache in your shoulder, but it still hurt less than the concrete probably would have. Looking up at your savior, you gave him a half smile.

“Thanks, Semi,” you said, rubbing your shoulder.

But he was frowning at you-- not that that was any different than the look he’d worn all day-- but this one was marred by soft concern. “Are you alright? You’re awfully cold.”

“O-Oh. No, I’m fine. Just got distracted by the coaster,” you said, giggling in embarrassment. “It is a bit chilly though, now that you mention it. I didn’t notice.”

There was a moment's hesitation, then the sound of a zipper being drawn down. A weight settled across your shoulders, surrounding you with an unfamiliar cologne, and your cheeks heated up at the realization that he had given you his jacket.

“That’s okay, Semi, really,” you said, shrugging the jacket off. “It isn’t that bad, and it’s my own fault. I left mine in the car.”

“No worries, _____,” he said, and for the first time you could see a small smile on his face in the dim light. “I’m not cold, so you can take it.”

“Well, thanks, I guess,” you said, pulling it back around your shoulders. It was warm and you smiled when you caught him looking at you. He was wearing a peculiar look, kind but almost possessive, and he licked his lips once before looking forward again.

You shivered, unsure if you were just seeing things. The park had rattled your nerves and Semi was just being nice. You didn’t know him well enough to make a judgement call like that and forced down the uneasiness, taking your place beside him again.

“Smooth move, klutz,” Konoha quipped, nudging your back. Goshiki and Shirabu snickered and you flipped them off over your shoulder, looping your other arm with Yukie.

The steepled spires of the haunted house came into view, beside which stood the funhouse, like Tendo said. Both looked terrifying in the dying light of the sun. Like everything else, the paint was almost gone, shingles missing from the roofs which were adorned with holes.

Without thinking, you reached out and grabbed Semi’s arm, pressing yourself to it. He glanced at you for a moment, a soft smile flitting across his face before looking at Tendo, who was staring between the two buildings.

“I wanna go in the funhouse,” Tendo said, turning back to the rest of the group. Setting his hands on his hips, he looked around at everyone. “Should we go as a group?” Kuroo shifted, pointing his feet towards the haunted house. “I kinda wanna go in there, actually.”

“Well no one should go anywhere alone,” Shirabu said firmly, and everyone nodded in agreement. If someone got hurt, no one would know for ages and then there was the long ride back on top of it.

“So we’ll split up. Everyone pick a house,” Tendo said, clapping his hands. 

Yukie’s arm around yours disappeared and she scurried over to Tendo, looking at you apologetically. Yachi took her place instead, looking for all the world like she was going to collapse from fright, and you gave her a concerned look.

“I’m going wherever you go,” she said, and you raised a brow. 

Before you could answer, Kuroo’s arm slung around your shoulders, looming over Yachi’s tiny form. “It looks like everyone’s decided. Pretty even split. Let’s meet back here in--” He checked his watch. “Two hours? That should be enough time to see everything.”

You opened your mouth to object, but Tendo nodded while Shirabu set the timer on his watch. “Everyone be careful, please. We really can’t afford any injuries.”

Yachi looked up at the dark house looming before you while the other group made their way towards the funhouse. 

You could hear Tendo’s voice echo back, saying, “That’s the reason we have you here, Shirabu. You’re a doctor and all.”

Shirabu said something in return, but it was lost in the distance as you were herded towards the haunted house. The doors hung open, swinging in the breeze and creaking.  It seemed like the house sucked all the warmth from the air the closer you got to it, and you squeezed Semi’s arm in yours.

“Scared, princess?” Kuroo whispered in your ear, raising the hairs on the back of your neck when his warm breath met your cold skin. “You shouldn’t be. We’re here with you.”

The steps leading into it sagged beneath your weight, the wood softer than it should’ve been and it came as no surprise when one broke beneath Semi’s weight. He cursed while you and Yachi pulled back, keeping him from falling over and potentially hurting himself. It took Akaashi and Kuroo both to pull him up out of the hole and a quick check revealed his jeans had protected his leg.

“Are you alright?” you whispered, looking up into Semi’s unamused face. He was wearing a hard scowl, his grip on you iron clad now as he guided you up the steps.

“Sure,” he said, eyes softening when he looked down at you. “Just annoyed.”

Inside, the light from your phones seemed to be swallowed by the darkness. The dust was thick and the air musty and humid. Cobwebs hung from everything, casting long shadows into the darkness beyond the halo of your flashlights.

Yachi yelped, tripping over a rotted track board and would have dragged you down if you weren’t holding onto Semi so tightly. His heat was almost a comfort now, driving away the persistent chill that seemed to emanate from the ramshackle walls. You couldn’t tell where the fabricated deterioration ended and true rot began.

“This way then?” Akaashi asked, leading the way into the first door. It was the kitchen area, set up to look like a butcher shop. A thick layer of dust settled over everything, motes flurrying through the painfully white light from your phones in an eerie dance that made it even harder to see.

Old props lay on the worn countertops, splotches of what was likely-- hopefully-- fake blood a dark black on the faded wood and laminate. Someone had a hand on your back while Akaashi examined a chain hanging from the ceiling, something hanging from the end of it. It made a strange noise when he pushed it, a crackly, grinding noise like it was rusty. It wouldn’t be a surprise, with the humidity as high as it is. 

“That’s a little unsettling,” Kuroo admitted, and you all jumped when a loud crash rang out somewhere further down.

“Now would be the time to leave if we were in a horror movie,” you hinted through gritted teeth, even as Kuroo stepped back out into the hall. He scanned the darkness, his phone hanging by his side, the light pointed towards the floor. “What do you expect to see anyway, genius?”

He turned back to wink before disappearing into the dark and you groaned, straining your eyes to see anything. His light was lost in the gloom and you released Yachi’s arm, taking a step forward. Semi allowed himself to be dragged along with you while Goshiki held Yachi, petting her hair as she whimpered.

Swearing, you and Semi trudged down the hallway, listening for any noises but heard nothing besides the sounds of an old building settling. Your voice caught in your throat when you opened your mouth to call for Kuroo, your ire failing in the face of the oppressive darkness in the heart of the house. Swiping a cobweb off your face, you shined your phone around, lighting up a destroyed living room area, two hallways, and a staircase.

“You don’t think he went upstairs, do you?” Semi whispered, following your line of sight.

Swallowing, you said, “God I fuckin’ hope not. This is so creepy, can’t we just leave him?”

He chuckled against his will, a quiet, rough noise as he tried to stifle it. “‘Fraid not. I don’t wanna deal with the cops.”

Heaving a sigh, you pointed the light down to the floor and found no sign of footprints in the thick dust. Flashing it behind you, you saw your own and Semi’s clearly visible and frowned. “Hey, look.”

Semi scoured the floor, waving his light all around you. “He definitely came this way.”

Nodding, you pointed the light back in front of you, down the hallway, but it was unable to break more than a few inches of darkness. “Okay, now I’m really freaked out. Where is he?”

New light joined your meager one, shuffling footsteps coming to a stop just behind you. 

Akaashi’s hand landed on your shoulder, peering over your head at where you were staring.

“This way,” Semi said after a moment of silence. It was broken only by Yachi’s occasional sniffle and you wondered if you shouldn’t just return to the front door and let Semi and Akaashi handle the rescue. But gentle pressure on your arm and shoulder guided you down, sniffling at the dust before you broke out into a sneeze.

The floor creaked beneath your feet, making the already eerie feeling worse as you crept down the hall. There were faded, torn paintings lining the walls, a few false doors, and windows painted black and boarded up. You couldn’t tell if the paint peeling up the walls was due to age or intent, but it certainly didn’t help settle your unease. 

“Careful,” Semi said suddenly, jerking you sideways into him. The cold hand slid off your shoulder and a light revealed a hole in the middle of the floor, where you had been about to step.

“Thanks,” you breathed, swallowing harshly. The dust was starting to sting your eyes and you repressed another sneeze, rubbing your nose. 

Skirting around the hole, it opened into another room, what appeared to be a library. Overstuffed armchairs littered the room, the shelves lining the walls stacked with what were likely fake books. There was no sign of Kuroo, but Semi led you further into the room carefully.

He wasn’t careful enough, though.

Once second you were clinging to him, the next you heard a crack and then you were experiencing the most curious sensation. Your stomach swooped as the light disappeared, and you realized belatedly that you were falling. Something warm, almost scalding wrapped around you, and your fall stopped short with a grunt of impact.

You lay there stunned for several long moments, head spinning and heart beating hard enough that you could feel it in your ears. The dark was only furthering your disorientation and you only realized you were laying on something when it moved beneath you.

Sitting up, you felt something slump over your shoulders before coughing filled your ears.

“Semi?” you whispered hoarsely. Above you, you registered screaming and looked up only to be blinded by light.

Semi grunted behind you but didn’t move, breathing heavy against your back. From above, you could hear muted conversation before the shrieking stopped.

“_____, Semi, are you both okay?” Akaashi’s concerned voice reached your ringing ears, and you nodded in response.

It took you a moment to realize he probably couldn’t see you, calling up, “Yeah, I think so. Semi--”

“‘M fine,” he yelled, though he sounded winded. 

“Are you sure?” you asked, wrapping a hand around the wrist dangling in front of you. A few feet away lay your phone, face down, the light muted but visible, and you sighed in relief. “You caught me, are you sure*?”

Semi chuckled, a rough noise. “Yeah, I’m sure. Trust me.”

“You guys stay there,” Akaashi commanded, then turned back to Goshiki and Yachi to say something. “I’ll find a way down to you.”

He disappeared and you scrambled forward, snatching your phone up. Moving back to the relative safety of Semi’s presence, you shined it around. 

The basement, you decided upon seeing the array of monster props and torture machines, was perhaps the most terrifying part of the house. It was only heightened by your adrenaline rush, the shadows seeming to jump out to your paranoid mind.

As the adrenaline wore off, you took stock of your extremities. Semi really had cushioned you-- nothing hurt-- and you turned to face him.

In the light, he really did look fine, even his breathing had evened out, and he looked back at you with a smirk. “Told you. I’m tougher than you think.”

“I’m beginning to realize that,” you admitted, getting to your feet. You didn’t let Semi get far, linking your arm with his and clinging to him, much to his amusement.

His eyes adjusted to the dark faster than yours and he located his phone near the base of a rusty filing cabinet. The screen was cracked-- which he cursed-- but it still worked, and he turned the flashlight back on.

“This is creepy as fuck,” he muttered, thumping the model of a skeletal doctor to see the dust swirl. There was a medical table in the center of the room with a light looming over it. He assumed there was supposed to be a body laying on said table and, in the dark, it was a scary thought that it was no longer there. “I hope Akaashi hurries up. I don’t like it here.”

You couldn’t stifle the small giggle, though you covered your mouth in a poor attempt. It was the nerves, you were sure, because as he moved away you held tighter, stumbling after him. He tried one door, the handle stiff enough that you recognized it to be fake. There was a set of metal double doors on the other side of the room and those swung open with an eerie grinding noise, scraping across the concrete floor.

The hallways extended to either direction, cells lining the wall in front of you and you shuddered. “Let’s go, Semi, please,” you begged, tugging him down to the left. It was the same direction that you had come from on the floor above and hoped that it would lead you to a staircase or something*.

Semi went along reluctantly, flashing his light in all the cells you passed. Most were empty, besides the occasional bed or other prop. Some contained chains mounted in the wall and his eyes flashed to you.

The hallway opened up into what may have been a waiting room if most of the furniture hadn’t been utterly destroyed. As you scanned the area, there was a noise from up ahead and you jerked to a stop, scurrying back to Semi’s side. Peeking around him while he stared down the hall, you kept a tight grip on his arm, feeling the muscles flex and tense beneath your hand. A shadow moved in the light and you nearly screamed as Kuroo stepped into view, followed closely by Akaashi.

Neither carried a light and your heart leapt in your throat when you caught a momentary flash of light reflecting off of Kuroo’s eyes before it disappeared.

Still hiding behind Semi, the four of you regarded each other in silence for a moment, before Kuroo chuckled.

“Well, this is certainly convenient, though I didn’t expect you to get involved,” he said, leaning sideways against the wall. He looked as relaxed as usual while Akaashi lurked behind him, staring at you peeking around Semi’s arm. 

He held out a hand to you but you held back, suddenly unsure of Kuroo’s words. With your heart in your throat, you looked up into Semi’s relaxed, impassive face. He made no moves, just watched the other two linger in front of your only escape route.

Then he shrugged.

“Dumb luck.”

The men burst into laughter and you squeaked, taking a step back from Semi. Before you could get anywhere, his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you forward.

“Easy, kitten. We don’t wanna hurt you,” Kuroo said, stepping further into the room. His eyes lit up once again in the light from your flashlight, mischievous brown turning solid gold. His pupils narrowed and elongated, his smile seeming to become more sharp as he stared down at you.

You breathed in sharply, taking a step back into Semi’s chest. Regardless of whether he was in on whatever they had planned, he was the safest option as opposed to whatever the hell Kuroo was.

The grip on your wrist loosened but came to your shoulders instead, keeping you in place with a warning squeeze. You had already guessed he was tough, given he had taken the full brunt of the impact earlier, but you now suspected he wasn’t human either.

Akaashi came forward last, looking as placid and calm as ever, cold fingertips stroking down your cheek.

You shivered.

None of these men were human, if you had to hazard a guess. Staring up at them, you felt your heart drop.

“W-Where are ‘Toka and Goshiki?” you asked, and were proud that your voice barely cracked. Maybe if you reminded them people would be looking for you, they would back off, allowing you to escape.

Kuroo chuckled, flipping the zipper of your-- Semi’s-- jacket up in what would have been a cute manner under different circumstances. “Keiji here sent them looking for the others in the funhouse, but they’ll never find the doorway down here. Tendo was right, there are lots of hidden doors in this place.”

“What are you? What are you going to-- to d-do to me?” you asked quickly, wrapping your fingers around his wrist as he started to tug the zipper down. You were stalling at best, your heart thumping harshly in your chest. If there was any chance of escape, you couldn’t figure it out. You had no idea where this door was and you had the impression you wouldn’t be able to outrun them anyway.

“I don’t suppose it would hurt to tell you,” he answered, taking a step closer. You tried to shrink away, huddling down into Semi’s oversized jacket, but it only seemed to entice them. “I am a yokai, I assume you know what that is? Akaashi is your run of the mill demon.”

If that offended Akaashi, he didn’t show it, simply widening his smile and blinking slowly. His once serene blue eyes turned pitch black and when he blinked again, they were normal.

“I’m just a werewolf,” Semi said, breathing against your ear. His hands slid down, catching the zipper of his jacket between his fingers and drawing the zipper down slowly.

“W-Wait, please,” you tried, grabbing and tugging at his wrist to no avail. He was far stronger, and you were like a fly in comparison. “Please, can we just go?”

Kuroo cupped your cheek, a moderate temperature compared to the other two, and his smile seemed to soften a fraction. “No, kitten. Keiji and I have been waiting for this for far too long. The wolf probably just likes how you smell.”

You weren’t sure what that meant, but the deep, pointed inhale Semi took against your neck seemed to verify the statement. The jacket fell to the floor with barely a whisper and then your phone was placed face up on a table, beside the men’s, and the combined light filled the room. 

It felt like you couldn’t get enough air as warm hands skimmed down your stomach, stretching the soft fabric of your t-shirt out, before settling on your hips. Lips met your neck, tentative at first, trailing up to your jaw, causing you to shiver.

The heat radiating off of Semi and Kuroo was getting to you, Semi’s soft lips flitting over pleasure spots causing your back to arch. You didn’t want to like it, but when Kuroo’s hands slipped up your shirt and over your ribs, your muscles tensed in unwanted arousal. Your nipples were already peaking inside your bra, the hairs on the back of your neck raising at the first graze of teeth on your skin.

“W-Wa-ait--” you breathed and, for a moment, you thought they really would stop because they both paused.

It was over in a moment, a soft kiss pressed to your other cheek as Kuroo pushed your bra up over your tits. His hands were soft as they cupped the tender flesh, giving gentle squeezes that went straight to your core, as much as you protested. “Not gonna happen, kitten. May as well enjoy it. We’ll take good care of you.”

A new sensation joined the heat surrounding you then, Kuroo moving to the side to allow Akaashi to join in. His hands were cold compared to the other two, one on your side and one cupping your unoccupied breast. The difference was enough to make you gasp, back arching on its own into their touch, and they at least had the decency not to snicker.

“You really do smell good, princess,” Semi whispered in your ear, nipping the lobe. “I can smell everything, even how wet you’re getting for us.”

Craning your neck away from him only opened you up to another smattering of kisses and you hated that he was right. They were getting to you, their gentle touches on your body doing everything right, like they had been your lovers for years rather than men you just met today. It made it harder to think than it already was, mind still racing in a futile effort to formulate some way to escape, but even you could recognize your body giving up.

Your shirt came up and over your head, disappearing somewhere outside of your vision. There was a collective intake from the men in front of you, and Semi groaned over your shoulder.

“I knew you would be so pretty, kitten,” Kuroo cooed, palming one tit again. He relished in the way you twitched when he pinched your nipple, then he cupped both, bouncing and watching them jiggle. “Been watching you all day, we couldn’t wait to get our hands on you.”

Akaashi was the first to lean over, wrapping cool lips around one pert bud, and Kuroo stepped back to watch your teeth sink into your lip to stifle any noises.

“Feel good, princess?” Semi asked, and chuckled when you shook your head. “It will soon, then. We won’t hurt you. Just wanna make you feel good.”

The worst part was, you were beginning to enjoy it. It was so tempting to cave, to just let them have their way with you. They were gentle, surprisingly so, and it was knocking down whatever resistance you had left at an alarming rate.

Semi’s hands were almost scalding against your sides, squeezing and kneading as he suckled at your neck, feeling you whine in your throat. “There you go. Just let go.”

The clasp of your bra came loose, and you weren’t even sure who had done it, before it was slid down your arms and dumped, presumably with your shirt.

There were two sets of lips attached to each nipple, your nails digging into your palms to keep from tangling your fingers in someone’s hair but you were losing the will to fight. Your panties were embarrassingly wet, no matter how much your mind insisted you didn’t like it, and you broke your silence when cold fingers drifted down to undo the button of your jeans.

“No please,” you begged, wiggling your hips in your first real display of resistance. Hands clamped down to still them in an iron grip, and a hand clasped your jaw, forcing you to look Kuroo in the eyes.

“What wrong, kitten? You’ve been so good up til now,” he said, stroking your lower lip with his thumb. There were imprints of your teeth in the skin, and he ached to kiss you, but it would have to wait.

“I-I don’t w-want--” you stuttered, tears burning the corners of your eyes as your zipper was pulled down.

Semi interrupted you then, tilting your head just so that he could kiss the corner of your mouth, smirking. “She’s embarrassed because of how wet she is.” Dropping his voice to barely a whisper, he said, “I can smell you, princess. You want this, don’t deny it.”

Shaking your head feebly, you whined when Semi pressed his lips to your cheek, dangerously close to your lips again. It was enough to distract you from your jeans sliding down your legs, until they pooled at your ankles and Akaashi had to tug your shoes off. Your jeans hit the floor shortly afterwards, the air startlingly cool against your now bare skin only to be covered with warmth as the men caged you in again.

It started with two fleeting touches to your inner thighs, which you tried to stop by squeezing them together only for them to pried apart in an instant. Semi took the opportunity to lay another languid kiss to the corner of your mouth, tongue flicking out against your lips.

For a moment, you turned into it only to jerk away, looking in the opposite direction. You knew what they were trying to do and you wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of hearing you beg for something you didn’t want. You wondered briefly where the others were and why you could hear nothing from above, until warm hands cupped your tits again.

You bit down on your lip again when Semi circled your nipples with his thumbs, massaging your breasts as he rolled them between his fingers. It was hard to keep quiet when it felt so good, especially when Kuroo and Akaashi were teasing your inner thighs, so close your aching cunt.

Your hips rocked of their own accord, your mind too preoccupied with the warm touches on your tender nipples and stifling your noises, but all three of your attackers smirked.

“Ask, pretty girl,” Akaashi said, speaking for the first time. 

His voice combined with his fleeting, cold touch against the soaked lips of your cunt caused a gasp to break free, hips rolling up in a jerky manner against your will. Your ears burned when they laughed and your teeth sank into your lip again. It was driving you insane, they were so close but you refused to beg for it.

“Aw, did we upset you, kitten?” Kuroo cooed, placing a wet kiss against your hip. “We’re sorry. You’re just so cute we can’t help it. Come on, ask us. Ask us to touch this pretty little pussy and we’ll make it up to you.”

Another swipe across your clit timed with a tug on your nipples broke the seal a second time.

“S-Semi--”

“There she goes,” Semi whispered, tilting your head around to look at him. Tears were spilling down your cheeks as you looked up at him with wide, resigned eyes. His eyes dropped to your parted lips for a moment and you swallowed, blinking the tears away, but didn’t struggle.

The first kiss was tentative, tongue ghosting between your parted lips to test you for a reaction. You only whined into the kiss, leaning in and he delved into your mouth, tongue lapping at yours as he tasted you.

When he pulled away, you hiccupped, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you closed your eyes.

“Please, just touch me. Fuck me, do whatever. I can’t--” you whispered, thighs aching from how tense you had been for god knew how long. It was too much to hold out, not when you were so wet and aching for it anyway. They knew what they were doing, their gentle teasing and buildup working to break down any fight you had and it had worked flawlessly. 

You melted into Semi as Kuroo lifted one leg over his shoulder. Akaashi left a trail of cool kisses down your inner thigh while Kuroo kissed up the opposite one. You didn’t know whether to tremble or whine, so you did both when his nose bumped your clit, and they chuckled again.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it, pretty girl?” Akaashi asked, and you might have mistook it for affection in another situation. “Just relax.”

As if you had a choice. Hot breathe puffed across your folds, teasing just a little more until you were practically dripping on his lips. Only then did his tongue swipe across your clit, your hips jerking harshly. His hot tongue was replaced with a cold one, the two of them taking turns lapping at your clit at such a languid pace that it was more torturous than not being touched at all.

“Fuck, please, stop teasing,” you cried, voice cracking as your back arched. You were desperate at this point, willing to beg or do whatever they wanted. You weren’t getting out of it without doing so anyway, so you might as well enjoy it. “Kuroo, Akaashi, please.”

A sharp pinch to your nipples made you squeal just before Semi devoured your mouth. You could feel the aggravation in the kiss, the way his teeth clacked against yours and his tongue pressed against yours. You made muffled noises against him, one hand coming up to tangle in his hair.

At the same time, Kuroo latched onto your clit properly, and your eyes almost rolled into the back of your head as you rocked your hips against his feverish suckling. The noises he was making filled the quiet space, grunts and would-be moans that terminated against your clit as he worked to make you cum.

Your head was starting to spin from lack of oxygen and intense pleasure. Kuroo wasn’t giving you an inch and your slick hole fluttered around nothing, until something swirled around your entrance before slipping in.

You forgot about the kiss, Semi’s lips hovering against yours as you came with a cry around cold fingers. The temperature difference between Akaashi’s fingers and Kuroo’s lips was mind numbing, your eyelids flickering, trying to stay open before giving in. You didn’t bother to be quiet, letting your moans bounce off the walls. Maybe it would draw the others to you, and you could still get out of this.

Instead of withdrawing his fingers, Akaashi slipped another one in beside the first, kitten licking your still sensitive clit and listening to you whine for him to “Stop, please, too much.” He only smirked, continuing to lap until you relaxed, though the stream of noises never stopped.

There was a moment of hesitation as Kuroo stood, cocking his head in Semi’s direction. With your attention on your throbbing clit and Akaashi’s almost icy touch, you missed the way Semi beckoned to him. Their lips met briefly, allowing Semi to get a taste of you on his lips before Semi dragged him into a deeper one, tongues meeting in a heated tangle. Both men were hard, Semi grinding his clothed erection against the cheek of your ass, the chafing fabric unnoticed against your soft skin.

You squirmed against him when Akaashi crooked his fingers just right inside you, grazing over the swollen sweet spot inside you again and again until you were on the verge of another orgasm. It seemed like no matter how long his fingers stayed inside you, they never heated up. You weren’t even sure if the cold of his tongue flicking over your clit was pleasurable or not but it was such constant pressure that you hurtled towards your second orgasm. Kuroo was quick to stifle it, delving into your mouth for you to taste what remained of you on his tongue.

You came with a cry, convulsing around Akaashi’s fingers for a second time so hard you became light headed. He continued to pet that spot inside you until you were squirming to get away, tugging roughly at his hair.

Your legs shook when he let you down, only Semi’s strong grip keeping you upright. The sound of belt buckles clanging brought you down quickly, and trepidation set your heart racing again. There was no stopping it, but you found yourself trying to back up anyway. 

“Ah,” Kuroo tutted, taking you from Semi’s arm and kissing the crown of your head like he was comforting you. “Don’t start that. We aren’t going to hurt you, kitten.”

No, they certainly hadn’t yet, and you had no choice but to trust his words. Something hard pressed against your ass, hotter even than the rest of Semi. You instinctively jerked away, pressing into Kuroo only to feel something slip between your thighs.

“Excited, aren’t we?” Kuroo drawled, and you could feel the condescension dripping off of him. Semi pressed to your back again, shielding you from the cold, while Kuroo asked, “How are we gonna take her? Semi, you kinda threw a wrench in things, can’t lie.”

Semi shrugged against your back, letting his cock settle between your thighs. You whined, jerking your hips instinctively away from the heat against your folds, but it only served to make him grind into you.

“I want this sweet cunt,” Semi snarled, cupping your jaw in a tight grip and tilting your head away, baring your throat to him. He licked a stripe from your shoulder to just beneath your ear before kissing the soft skin, and you shivered at the possessiveness in his tone.

“Alright, wolfboy smells a mate,” Kuroo said, rolling his eyes. “Akaashi?”

The last of the trio stepped forward again, skimming his fingers down your cheek before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I’m okay with whatever you want, Kuroo. Just wanna feel her around me.”

There was something dark in his eyes that belied his passive words. He was deferring to Kuroo to get things moving, you were almost sure. Like the rest of him, his cock was cool against your thigh, more like a glass dildo you kept at home than a cock attached to a man.

“That makes things easy then,” Kuroo said, clapping his hands and giving you that mischievous smile. If you didn’t know any better-- you didn’t-- you would say his teeth were a little sharper, the canines more pronounced than before. His eyes certainly hadn’t changed, maintaining that almost glowing golden color this whole time. “Semi, lay on the couch. Keiji, you can take her from behind. I want her mouth.”

He sounded like he was giving out instructions to his employees rather than fucking a very reluctant person, but the other two followed his instructions without question. It was an odd sensation, to be talked about as if you weren’t there, as if you had no say over what was happening to you.

Not that you did.

It wasn’t until you were straddling Semi that you realized something. In addition to being hotter than average, he was larger than average, peeking out from between your folds to drip precum just below his bellybutton. The way your stomach swooped made you nauseous and tears fell down your cheeks all over again.

“What’s wrong, princess?” he asked, wiping them away as best he could. You wouldn’t be fooled by the concern in his tone; he wouldn’t stop anyway.

You turned your face away only to jump when a finger slipped your cunt, cool to the touch, followed by a second, only to be removed a second later. They moved instead to your slick rear entrance, circling and massaging until it gave way, eased by your previous orgasms. You fell forward, bracing yourself over Semi, who held your rocking hips still. Two fingers filled you, the stretch no more than a sting but it was uncomfortable nonetheless when you didn’t want it.

Akaashi’s other hand came down, long fingers wrapping around your throat just beneath your chin, pulling you back up to your knees. “Good girl,” he whispered in your ear before forcing your head around so he could capture your lips.

They parted naturally when his tongue glided across them, allowing him access without thought. You couldn’t place his taste; it was like he’d just eaten ice before kissing you, and you moaned into it.

Kuroo, who until then had been content to watch, groaned and stood from the dilapidated chair he had been lounging in. One hand wrapped around your wrist, moving your hand to wrap around his aching cock, desperate for some kind of relief. Your palm was soft against him, and he spit on it twice for good measure before allowing you to curl your fingers around him again. They did so automatically, squeezing tight and he hissed through gritted teeth, slit pupils narrowing further as he watched Akaashi’s tongue delve into your mouth like he wanted his cock to.

All the while, Semi was forcing you to slide along his shaft, slow, calculated moves designed to drag your clit back and forth against him. He could feel you trembling above him, your hands curled into fists against his chest, hips moving with his hands. You dripped down his cock, covering him in your slick and he almost growled at the heady scent. Unlike the other two, he could smell how bad you wanted it and it was driving him wild.

“Akaashi, hurry up,” he snapped, digging his nails into your soft hips hard enough to leave marks if he wasn’t careful.

Akaashi hummed in disapproval, pulling from your mouth to stare impassively at the werewolf. “I don’t want to hurt her, Semi.”

Yet, he withdrew his fingers and you whined at the loss.

“Finally,” Semi hissed, helping Akaashi lift you up so he could slick his cock up against your cunt before settling against your rear hole. “You go first.”

Your toes curled tight enough to cramp as Akaashi gave you a warning nudge before splitting you open. Your jaw dropped, eyes widening as you stared up into the cobwebbed ceiling, waiting for him to bottom out. Thighs trembling in Semi’s hold, you fell back against Akaashi’s chest as his hips met your ass.

“Don’t worry, pretty girl,” he whispered, leaving cool kisses along your shoulder and neck. Goosebumps were raising up your arms and back, and he would have felt bad if you weren’t squeezing around his cock so tight while Semi positioned himself at your dripping hole.

You couldn’t decide if you really wanted two cocks, weren’t sure if you could even take two, but Semi was stretching you so wide you were crying out broken babbles none of them could make out as he seated you flush against his hips. You twitched above him, fluttered around him, squeezed rhythmically while you tried weakly to get away.

The sensation of fullness was one you had never experienced before. Even just Semi’s cock was more than you had ever taken, let alone Akaashi’s cock in your inexperienced asshole. You blinked rapidly, unable to decide if you liked it or not before a hand wound in your hair and you were pulled down. 

Kuroo’s cock bobbed in your face and your jaw dropped automatically, allowing him to smear precum around your lips. He was more salty than bitter as he slipped into your mouth, stuffing himself as far as he could before you started gagging. Pulling back, he gave you a small reprieve to gasp for air before filling your mouth again. There was no fighting his thrusts, you had to force your throat to relax or choke. A mix of drool and tears spilled down your chin as a thick vein dragged against your tongue, dripping off to the floor. In the back of your foggy mind you were disgusted.

When they felt you relax around Kuroo’s cock, his hips moving in a steady rhythm to fuck your throat, Akaashi and Semi moved. 

You spasmed around Kuroo when Semi lifted you up and dropped you back down, your hips meeting with a wet slap, his cock stifling your scream. Akaashi pulled out then, a little more careful as he stuffed himself back in, but the constant push and pull of their hips soon spread fire through your body. Kuroo was heavy on your tongue, Semi and Akaashi bumping and grinding against each other through the thin wall separating your cunt and ass, Semi’s curls stimulating your throbbing, sensitive clit.

You couldn’t fathom how you were careening towards a third orgasm, but Semi’s cock was so thick he couldn’t help but drag along the swollen, gummy sweet spot inside you. Akaashi’s low, pleasured moans in your ear gave you a vague sense of pride. These gorgeous men wanted you, were moaning for you. 

It was enough to make you forget this wasn’t right.

Kuroo thought you were moaning, your throat vibrating around his cock as he facefucked you with abandon. The tight sleeve of your throat only grew tighter when Akaashi’s hand slipped between your legs to pet your clit and Kuroo grunted.

“Keep that up, kitten, and you’re gonna make me cum,” he said, holding your nose down in his curls for a few seconds just to feel you spasm around him.

Semi and Akaashi felt the benefits of it, both your holes clenching around them as you gagged. Semi took the opportunity to grind deep inside you, rolling his hips up so that he pushed against your cervix.

Your thighs trembled around him, a squeal stifled around Kuroo’s cock as you came hard, jerking in Semi’s hold. He snarled, bouncing you on his cock with abandon as Akaashi slammed into you, spreading your clenching hole without care as he moaned.

Kuroo grunted, pumping into your mouth a few more times before pressing your nose into his pelvis and cumming, his lips parted in an ‘o’ and his head tipping back. You had no choice but to swallow until he pulled out and spilled the remnant all over your face, smirking as it mixed with your tears and drool to drip off your chin.

Semi’s back arched off the couch, strong hands pulling you down to sit flush with his hips as he spilled inside you. Your eyes grew wide at the intense heat filling your womb, the warmth rushing up through you at the same time Akaashi came in your ass. Goosebumps erupted across your skin as his cum offset the heat of Semi’s, and your vision swam for a moment from overstimulation.

Semi caught you as you collapsed forward, cradling you to his chest regardless of the mess, petting your hair. 

Akaashi slipped out of you, sharing a small smirk with Kuroo as he sought out your clothes.

“Give me my shirt,” Semi said, catching it from the air when Akaashi threw it. He forced you to sit up, watching you sway with a twisted sense of pride, and wiped the mess from your face. Akaashi and Kuroo took you from there, helping you to dress while you leaned against them, unable to keep from snickering at the state they’d left you in.

“Can you walk, kitten?” Kuroo asked, setting his hands on your shoulders. “Or do you need someone to carry you?”

“I-I can w-walk,” you stuttered, throat raspy. You frowned and grabbed it, swallowing with a wince.

“Good girl,” Kuroo said, dropping a kiss on your lips and smirked when you leaned after him as he pulled away. “We don’t need to worry about you telling anyone, do we?”

Shaking your head, you allowed Semi to wrap an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close to bathe in his warmth as Kuroo led the way up the hidden stairs a little ways down the hall they had been blocking earlier. At the top of the stairs, you could hear voices calling your names and perked up, trying to follow the echoes in the darkness.

“This way,” Kuroo said, leading the way though there wasn’t a speck of light in sight. Your own phone was tucked safely in the pocket of Semi’s jacket, which he had taken back. “Keiji, give me your phone. Appearances.”

Right, couldn’t let the humans know.

Everyone crowded around you, throwing questions all at once, until Shirabu lost his temper. He insisted on looking you and Semi over, just to determine for sure nothing was the matter. 

He seemed a little concerned by how out of it you were, and asked if you hit your head.

Three sets of eyes landed on you, all carrying a different weight as they waited for you to speak.

“Just tired, Shirabu,” you murmured, hiding your face in Semi’s side. “It took ages for them to find us. Can we go home now?”

The tension eased, though you kept your face hidden, allowing him to guide you blindly down the hallway.

It was even colder outside than earlier, and Kuroo took over the spot on your other side, gently shooing Yachi towards the other. She had insisted on keeping you company, watching you with wide, worried eyes while Akaashi and Kuroo whispered together behind her.

Even now, she watched the way the three men hovered around you with curious concern. They treated you like a precious object-- or a possession that needed to be protected.

You nodded in response to something Kuroo said, trying-- if possible-- to curl even closer into Semi. Akaashi hovered in the background, pretty face as impassive as ever until he caught Yachi looking at him.

His lips curled up in a smile, his face softening ever so slightly, and she relaxed. Whatever had happened to you down there, it seemed to spark something in the three men.

Whatever it was, it couldn’t have been that bad.

[asterekmess]

Heyo! So I’ve been in the sterek fandom for quite some time now and I’ve been wondering about how you would describe stiles’ personality?

I’ve never actually sat down and watched a full episode of teen wolf (and honestly I’m not sure if I ever will considering everything I’ve heard about how they treat derek and his history but idk who knows I’m very curious in a lot of the plot lines and character development), and a lot of the stuff I know about the show I’ve scraped from fics, gifs, and meta posts

For me personally, Stiles’ personality and characterization is so fluid and nuanced that sometimes I have trouble pinning him down (tho derek doesn’t have trouble with that *wink wink*) So I would love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the long ask, this grew legs and an ugly mug shdhdhhdjdcj anyhow have a great day :D

Well, everybody's got different perspectives and opinions on Stiles' personality, honestly. Even when you try to stick to 'canon' things, there's a lot of room for interpretation on the why when he does things, or what it says about him as a person, etc etc etc.

Personally, I see canon Stiles as kind of an asshole. I mean, I love him, and he does some incredible things, and he's clearly got an intense love for those close to him. But I do make him kinder in fics, or I at least make him regret being a dick.

In canon, we're given a Stiles who cracks 'dead baby' jokes (he's talking about human sacrifice, so the conversation was already plenty morbid. This wasn't out of the blue.) Who begs for Scott to let Jackson die (though it's made clear that this wasn't serious, and he later works to save Jackson's hide like ten times over), and who will mercilessly poke and prod at people's insecurities or painful pasts, especially when worked up. Isaac's previous abuse isn't a no-go topic. Derek having 'dated' (read: been assaulted at worst and at best, been lied to) serial killers isn't something he's going to tread lightly around. He doesn't try to soften things to save someone's feelings most of the time.

He's presented as someone who is incredibly impulsive, with his emotions, words, and actions. It's kind of implied this is because of his ADHD, but that doesn't explain how often the impulsively cruel or harsh things he says aren't retracted or apologized for, or just generally regretted. Yes, ADHD people are impulsive, and yes sometimes our mouths get away from us and we can end up saying some Fucked Up shit to people because we literally couldn't control the words coming out. But that doesn't mean we're cruel or evil or mean. We still feel bad for doing those things, and those of us who are decent people, try to fix or repair what we've messed up. I am...not a fan of how often ADHD is used as an excuse to make a character a dickhead because "he has no filter." No filter means we struggle to control our thoughts and what we say, it doesn't make us heartless.

So, when I'm writing him, I fix it. Even if he still Does something fucked up, I have him care that he did it. I have him realize what he did or said wasn't okay and respond to that knowledge in some way. Which to some people, means I'm just ignoring what a fucker he is, but imo it feels like a horrible fuckup on the creator's parts, so I'm just correcting the mistake. He's no less Stiles just bc I taught him to say sorry.

Anyway. I'm trying NOT to ramble here.

To answer your question, as best I can; Stiles is sarcastic. Stiles is passionate to a fault. His emotions are BIG, whatever they are. Good, Bad, or even apathy. Whatever feelings he has are just intense. He is very much a no gods, no kings, no masters, kind of man. There isn't really an 'authority' to him, except maybe his dad sometimes. He puts family, and those he considers family, First. But that doesn't mean he isn't selfless. Because he is. Incredibly so. Uncomfortably so.

He walks into gasoline for his friends. He puts himself in the position of losing the only parent he has left, for his classmates. He cares enough about strangers to insist a drunk girl he's spoken to for five minutes max stay hydrated and give her a bottle of water. He literally handed over his mind on a platter to a fox demon for someone he barely fucking knew, to keep her safe.

Loyal. Humorous. A fighter. Family-oriented. Clever. Passionate. Strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And a very good liar, in my opinion.

He doesn't lie very well in the show, not to people's faces. He'll stumble around a "I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him" or "are you asking me to tell you what I would have told you if I were going to tell you it?" but at the same time, he can repress and hide away his feelings and his pain in a way not even Derek manages.

He asked Caitlin questions about her girlfriend, and worked to solve the human sacrifices, literal minutes after finding out he'd just lost his oldest friend. He drove Lydia to the warehouse to save Jackson after having the shit beat out of him by a man who'd been learning to cause pain since he was a CHILD. And he never gives away how incredibly broken he is for more than a couple seconds. and it's a little frightening, because he convinces people in this show who are lie detectors that he's okay, when he's a fucking mess. Even Derek shows his pain.

You're right that he's nuanced, and part of that is because when you see him in meta or in fic, what you're seeing is a dozen versions of him sort of compressed into a flat image. Because he changes throughout the show, and while some of his core personality stays the same, a lot of stuff changes. So one fic might harp on his insensitivity, and callousness toward Isaac or how easily he says "just let them die" when talking about Derek or someone else. And then another will dive into how fucking far he's willing to go, travelling all the way to mexico and facing down a hunter clan a dozen times more powerful than the argents with no one but a banshee at his side, just to get Derek back. Or how he saw Malia hurting and sat with her on a couch and held her hand. One is a much earlier version of Stiles, from the start of the show, the other from his midpoint. Near the end, you're able to say that he was so torn about leaving Derek while he was dying, he had to be Begged to go save Scott. That he manipulated an ENTIRE FBI investigation in order to save and protect Derek. (im focusing on derek bc sterek, but also bc his relationship with Derek is the Biggest Arc he has in the show, and the most solid)

You're going to read about different versions of him, and I totally get how that's confusing.

We all sort of bleed ourselves into him and either bring certain canon characteristics to the forefront, or straight up add our own so he's more relatable to us.

So while I can't really help you pin down any specific Stiles, just know that there's not really a 'true' Stiles that anyone can confirm or deny. It's all just perception, so however you see him, go with it. Strengthen it. Explore it. I'm sure you'll find people who see what you do.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] 7 Demon Brothers + Alcohol 🥂

tw: alcohol consumption and things related to it

Note: Ranked the brother’s alcohol tolerance from best to worst at handling alcohol and added some alcohol-related headcanons too like how they’d act at parties :0

I may have used some people I’ve seen at college parties as inspiration

Asmodeus

what can I say except: King 👑👑

the man goes out to parties often and you BET there’s alcohol 

and yeah it’s fun to get buzzed, but ya boy gotta be sober enough to woo all the demons and dance the entire night!!

he’s built a lot of tolerance against all devildom drinks and even some human alcohol-- which is why he’s so shocked when he loses to you in a drinking contest in the storyline

he’s not used to losing especially when it comes to drinking and he takes pride in being the one on top every time

is there to have a Good Time with alcohol, and he’s usually an instigator when it comes to its consumption because he wants people to have a good time too!! (but only if they actually want to drink-- he ain’t forcing anyone!)

would know when to stop; knows his limits and the limits of others pretty well, so he’s actually really good at taking care of people when they’ve gone overboard

alas is the burden of the sober (or less drunk); is definitely the one who throws back a shot but is also the one offering you a glass of water or a trashbag to throw up in or hold up your hair 

he is SO good at taking care of you after a night out 

like I said: 👑👑

Beelzebub

bigger mass, bigger muscles = better alcohol tolerance

doesn’t drink that often to be honest, but he can hold his own 

doesn’t like drinking because it tastes nasty and doesn’t really fill him up-- though the fruity drinks are ok

heavy weight drinker when he does drink tho--- voracious appetite is matched with his ability to down shots like it’s no biggie

also, considering he eats so much, that also helps him in terms of alcohol tolerance

like asmo, his ability to not get drunk easily makes him the Guardian Angel Demon of Hydration

“have some more water” he says as he bends down and rubs your shoulders as you yak into a black trashbag 

could probably shotgun a beer--- smash the butt of the can against his forehead and chugging it all down 

ESEPCIALLY if it’s for a bet for food-- the man is unstoppable 

will be part of clean-up crew and also eat all the snacks

Mammon

that’s right, he can drink Lucifer under the table-- but barely

but he’s the type to go too hard too fast so no know actually knows/thinks he can, but the man is WILDIN’

what can I say about the Avatar of GREED??

shotgunning beers, slappin’ the wine bags, funneling alcohol-- HE’S GOT IT ALL

gets super hyped up when drunk and is definitely a big instigator when he gets some alcohol in him

kind of endearing to watch his inhibitions completely disappear as he reigns as the Big Brother who will definitely win against you in any alcohol related games like beer pong, rage cage, anything!!

the man is good at gambling, math, and probably loads more that we don’t know about yet, so I’m not surprised if he’s actually super good at any games related to dexterity and hand-eye coordination even when he’s drunk 

usually doesn’t really control himself with alcohol, so despite his tolerance often ends up bent over with a trash bag in hand

but if you’re there with him and aren’t familiar with alcohol, he’ll definitely tone it down and look out for you BECAUSE HE’S A SWEETIE 

Lucifer

more of a wine drinker, less of a SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS type of person

you think he’d be all suave and haha alcohol np--

but the error message of him hugging the router because he’s drunk tells  you he’s not as tolerant as people think he is AT ALL

he’s just very good at hiding when he’s inebriated, but even he can’t hide the tell-tale sign of his cheeks reddening  

against his brothers, he’s very good at controlling himself and taking in enough alcohol to amuse himself but not go out of control

unless he’s provoked and Diavolo (or you ;) ) are there

lowkey competitive, especially when he thinks he can win

for some reason always finds himself drunk as hell despite telling himself “ok, easy on the alc tonight” and starts to slur his words and be suuuuuuper relaxed (which is really endearing for you to see because he softens and is more affectionate and less shy about pda)

I hc that he’s actually a talkative drunk because he’s usually so composed and careful with his words that without the ihibitions, he’s freely speaking his feelings more (uwu) 

when he lets himself go though it’s so easy for him to embarrass himself LMAO and he’s lucky that most of his brothers are black-out drunk or too busy taking care of other people

Belphegor 

“MC, I’m so sleeeeeeepy”

“Belphie, you’re always sleepy”

super cuddly when he’s buzzed

after a few drinks, settles himself into a couch and just chills and fuzzily watches people chaotically chugging drinks

pretty happy with just doing this because he sort of enjoys just being in the background and seeing his brothers enjoy themselves

if he was honest before, oh he’s super honest now-- but in an extremely affectionate way:

“MC have I ever told you that your hands are super soft?”

“Ahaha Mammon you dance funnyyyy”

absolutely no filter on the love, the mad man

definitely conks out at like 11pm even if the party started like only two hours ago, blissfully unaware of any of the party aftermath and thus never really ends up helping during clean-up 

pretty hard to wake up-- but then again, he’s always hard to wake up 

you could probably pick up the couch he’s on and push it into a lake and he’d just wake up confused??? or stack things on top of him and he’d never wake up or move 

reminds me of that one vine where someone pours water on this girl’s face and she just wakes up and says “hello????”

Satan

the man wishes he had the tolerance of beel or lucifer or mammon god he wishes

but he does not-- not even CLOSE

is usually the designated driver and pretends he’s real cool with alcohol, but whenever he does drink, he’s out of the game SO QUICK 

maybe it’s because everyone expects him to be tolerant to alcohol because he sometimes sips wine when he reads, but he is not great at alcoholic party games so ends up being drunk really early in the party 

also, shots??? not the same

definitely the type of person to have taken a few shots at a time and be like “hm nothing is happening” and then feel it all at once 

he’s definitely learned from that first time he’s drank so NEVER AGAIN

so whenever he does drink, he knows his limits (and boy it is low) 

get super happy and-- not giggly persay, but he definitely has an easier time laughing considering he’s lost his inhibitions

not much can bring him down from this mood when he’s in the perfect zone between buzzed and drunk-- tries to aim for this zone every time but doesn’t always hit the mark 

has probably tried reading after drinking and just ended up sleeping with the book on his face

Leviathan 

doesn’t drink that much, doesn’t handle alcohol that well

...but people think he does because he always wins at party games 

the man has the best hand-eye coordination from gaming; he is the MASTER at beer pong and rage cage

hates shots because it takes him out so quick 

low-key one shot wonder, and his face gets so red after a few drinks 

handles himself with beer a lot better, but easy to get pulled into the chaos and gets challenged by MUCH more experienced and alcohol tolerant brothers (COUGH MAMMON)

usually tries to find excuses to not drink and prefers to sit and drink other beverages 

he is the master of the NAVY, give him WATER

would be part of clean up crew reluctantly, but if you need to be taken care of he is there for you--- no doubts about that

shyly puts an arm around you if you’re sleepy and makes sure you’re comfortable if you do end up falling asleep

also would end up taking care of other people (and actually does it really well), but does grumble under his breath bc he’s a tsundere

definitely has been on the bad side of drunk so is actually very protective of you if people are pushy with their drinks (it’s kind of sweet)

if you’re sober, you definitely have a friend with you who can watch on and remember EVERYTHING that goes on in the party and share inside jokes and good memories

[silverlightqueen]

Fallen

silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest

angel!felix x demon!reader - comedy, fluff, felix worrying about losing his job as an angel lmao 

Word Count: 2.4k+

Summary - Felix is an angel. Literally. Like, from Heaven. And he’s the best at being one. Never has he let temptation lead him astray. Never has he stopped before doing what is right. Never has he abandoned his assigned humans, even those that provide the most challenge. He’s never stepped a toe out of line, always kept his crush on a particularly annoying demon a secret. That is, until, he wakes up in the bed of said annoying demon with lipstick stains on his skin and his halo a little crooked.

Warnings: explicit discussion of sex, making out, that’s it I think but let me know if I missed something please!

this is dedicated to the lovely @brinnalaine​ for being such a supportive sweetheart, so I hope you enjoy this little fic about our sunshine!

a/n: and here is the sixth instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I’m sorry it’s so late in the day but I’ve spent all day at a theme park scarefest getting terrorised by clowns and dolls in terrifying mazes lmao. @silverlightprincess​ hasn’t actually proofread this but she proofreads everything else so I still want to thank her for being the best! I really hope you guys enjoy this bc it was really fun to write. please be sure to check out the previous parts and keep an eye out for the next parts too x

taglist: @kodzu-ken​ @cloudsgathering​ @silverlightprincess

silverlightqueen navigation

I wake up with something heavy on my face and a dizzy head from my mouth and nose being blocked. I try to take a deep breath and, instead, end up inhaling something soft and wispy, making me choke. I sit up suddenly, pushing the heavy thing off me with effort as I splutter, trying to empty my mouth of whatever it is that’s invaded it. And then I reach a finger into my mouth and end up pulling out feathers. Pure white and fringed feathers.

‘Did you just shove my wing, y/n?’ I hear Felix’s deep morning voice mumble into his pillow, and I shoot his back a dirty look, fishing his stupid feathers out of my mouth and trying to ignore the way I get butterflies in my stomach at hearing him say my name with that voice of his. He’s got his massive wings out for some stupid reason, one of them taking up my side of the bed whilst the other hangs over onto the floor. His hair, a lovely soft blond colour, is a fluffy mess on the pillow, and I can feel the heat that his body radiates despite only having the covers up to his hips, the band of his underwear just about visible.

I’ve been running into Felix quite a bit in the last few months – somehow he was always being assigned to humans in areas that I was… terrorising people in. Angels and demons have always had a… rocky relationship, but Felix was too pure, too kind, too sweet for me to be a bitch to him like I’ve been to all the other angels I’ve encountered. So I put up with his annoyingly sunny presence and his random acts of kindness and him stopping me from feeding on humans because ‘they haven’t done anything wrong!’ After him starving me for months, I got fed up and made a deal with him. I would scare the shit out of people to feed on them, and he would erase their memories so they wouldn’t be scarred for life. We became a… partnership of sorts, making me the most well-fed demon and him the highest achieving angel. To celebrate our successes, I took him to a new trendy bar last night and we got super drunk on fruity cocktails. And here we are now, with my cute red dress on the floor next to his black jeans.

‘Yes. I did. Because it was on top of me, suffocating me, and now I have a mouthful of your dumb feathers. Why are they even out? Put them away please?’ I ask harshly, injecting more annoyance into my voice than I feel, and Felix sighs, rolling his shoulders without moving from his position of being sprawled out on his front in my bed, and his wings slowly shrink, diminishing into his strong back, the only trace of them the two small bumps between his shoulder blades.

‘Don’t call my feathers dumb. I put a lot of effort into looking after them,’ he mumbles, voice still muffled in his pillow, and I roll my eyes, letting myself fall back against the bed. ‘Wouldn’t be able to tell. Coarse and ratty, they are,’ I tease half-heartedly, both of us knowing his feathers are softer than silk. ‘Like your hair,’ he replies in his wickedly deep voice, his amusement obvious in his tone, and I let out an outraged noise.

‘My hair is beautifully healthy, thank you. You should know – had your hands in it for hours last night,’ I pout, annoyed, as I pull the covers up around me, shivering. The room is absolutely freezing, due to the cold weather and the fact that I’m only in Felix’s thin white shirt and a pair of pants, so I can’t help but inch closer to him, his body radiating warmth. He doesn’t reply, but I don’t have any objections. I like my lazy morning lie-ins and it’d be nice to get a couple more hours of sleep.

‘Oh, shit,’ he says a few minutes later, sounding wide awake now, just as I’m beginning to drop off back to sleep, and I let out a loud huff of annoyance. ‘What?’ ‘I slept with you,’ he says as though he’s just found it out, lifting his head up from the pillow and looking at me with wide eyes. ‘Did you forget? I thought it was pretty memorable,’ I say offhandedly, amused. ‘It was. But I… I slept with you,’ he says, turning over and staring up at the ceiling, blinking in disbelief. ‘Right. I’m confused,’ I say, wondering if he’s lost his mind or something. My pussy’s good, but not that good. Or maybe it is? God knows. Actually, let’s hope God doesn’t know. She’ll probably kill Felix. Oh, right. I get why he’s freaking out now.

‘Oh, no. Angel boy’s having a mental breakdown because he fucked a demon, and God’s not gonna be happy,’ I tease in a light voice, holding back my laughter, and Felix sits up in bed, looking distraught. ‘She’s gonna kill me. She will actually kill me,’ he says quietly before dropping his head into his hands with a dramatic fake sob. ‘Oh, calm down. She doesn’t even need to know,’ I say, immensely amused, and Felix turns to me with distraught eyes. ‘She’ll know!’ ‘How? Unless one of us tells her, she won’t know,’ I say pointedly, telling him to keep his mouth shut but in nicer words.

‘But… she’s God. Won’t she just know?’ he asks, eyes wide like an innocent little kid, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘You’re not the first angel I’ve fucked, Lix.’ ‘I’m not?’ he asks, sounding sceptical, and I shoot him a dirty look. ‘Don’t sound so disbelieving. But, anyway, she’s never found out about those before. As long as you don’t blab, it’ll be fine,’ I say, and he nods, looking like he’s on the verge of tears.

‘Lix, relax. Stop panicking. You’re ruining the morning-after mood,’ I say softly after a minute of him just staring at the wall unseeingly. I slide my arms around his waist, pulling him down to lie beside me, and I curl into him instantly, revelling in the warmth of his bare skin. His arm comes around me, holding me against him, and I can sense him relaxing a little. I lay a hand on his chest, over the red lipstick marks that stain his skin, drawing patterns with my fingers, and after a few minutes, he puts his hand over mine, making me look up at him.

He takes me by surprise when he leans down and presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. My eyes flutter shut after the initial surprise, and I melt into him, hand sliding up from his chest to around the back of his neck, the short soft hairs at the nape of his neck tickling the pads of my fingers. His velvety lips are firm against mine, our mouths moving in sync, and I let out little breaths and whines against his mouth as his hands leisurely travel over my body, giving me butterflies in my stomach when his tongue slides into my mouth.

We break apart after a few minutes, the kiss leaving me breathless, and his lips quirk up in an amused grin. He might be the most angelic… angel in Heaven, but he touched me, kissed me, fucked me like a demon. ‘You’re cute,’ he murmurs, briefly pressing his lips to my forehead, and I try to ignore the little thrill in my chest, pouting at him instead. ‘I’m an evil demon that feeds on human fear. I’m not cute,’ I mumble, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘You are. You’re a cute evil demon that feeds on human fear,’ he replies with a grin, and I roll my eyes. ‘Shut it, angel boy, you’re the cute one here.’ ‘Here I was thinking you found me sexy.’ ‘In your dreams, Lix,’ I murmur amusedly, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Not what you were saying last night.’ ‘…Shut up.’

He laughs at me, pulling me closer to him, and I feel warm and secure in his arms. His angel aura is definitely shining through – it feels like nothing could harm me if he’s here. We cuddle in a comfortable silence, his fingers running through my hair soothingly, and my eyes flutter shut after a little while, slumber beginning to take me. ‘What happens now?’ he murmurs, bringing me back from my snooze, and I resist the urge to put my fist through his chest.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask, suppressing a yawn, and he sighs gently as I move off him, lying beside him so I can look him in the eyes. ‘Where do we… go from here?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Um… you go back to Heaven and I go back to Hell,’ I reply, knowing that that’s not the kind of answer he’s looking for, and he rolls his eyes. ‘You know I don’t mean location. I mean… with us,’ he says tentatively, and I don’t react for a moment. ‘Are you asking me what we are?’ I ask, a little stunned, and he nods, looking like he wished he never asked.

‘We’re an angel and demon that have teamed up for our own interests, and we got drunk and slept together, which won’t affect our business partnership. Right?’ I say slowly, and I feel guilt twist in my heart when the hope disappears from his pretty brown eyes. ‘Right. Yeah. I just thought…’ he trails off, turning onto his back and not looking at me. ‘Thought what?’ I ask carefully, and he’s silent for a moment before sighing. ‘I thought that maybe it was something more. I mean… we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I guess I have a bit of a… crush on you?’ he stammers, ending his sentence as a question as though he’s not quite sure.

He’s still not looking at me, and the words hit me like a ton of bricks. Felix, God’s favourite angel, has a crush on me, Lucifer’s favourite girl and a princess of the 9th circle of Hell? I’m not quite sure how to react to the words, just blinking in surprise for a moment. ‘You have a crush on me? Are you sure?’ I ask, and he lets out a little laugh, eyes still on the ceiling. ‘Yep, pretty sure. I’ve had a few months to think about it,’ he says offhandedly, and my mouth falls open. ‘You’ve had a crush on me the whole time?’ I demand, and he finally looks at me, nodding sheepishly.

‘Why didn’t you say anything, stupid?’ I exclaim, hitting his chest gently, and he lets out a light chuckle. ‘I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.’ ‘What friendship?’ I ask jokingly, and he looks at me deadpan. ‘Sorry. But seriously, are we, like, high schoolers? No. We’re centuries old supernatural beings. If you had a crush on me, you should’ve just told me, and taken me on a date. What is wrong with you?’ I demand, and he blinks at me several times. ‘Did you just say I should’ve taken you on a date?’ he asks, stunned, and I let out an annoyed noise. ‘Yes, keep up.’

‘But… you’re a demon, and I’m an angel.’ ‘Forbidden romances are better than normal ones. Like Cleopatra and Mark, Tristan and Isolde, Pyramus and Thisbe, Romeo and Juli-’ ‘Every one of those couples had a tragic end,�� Felix says dryly, an amused smile on his face, and I roll my eyes. ‘They were mortal, and were forbidden by their parents. It’s different.’ ‘Oh, yeah, we have God and Lucifer to deal with instead,’ he says sarcastically, making me raise an eyebrow. ‘Lucifer won’t care. It’s God that’s the issue. An easily solvable issue,’ I grin, and his face falls.

‘Are you plotting against God?’ he demands, looking completely outraged. ‘Don’t look so shocked, it’s not blasphemy for me. I’m a demon, stupid. But, no, I’m not plotting against her. I’m just gonna… talk to her,’ I say mildly, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re gonna… talk to God? To get her to let us date?’ he asks, sounding disbelieving, and I nod simply. ‘She’ll kill you,’ he replies, eyes sparkling with mirth, and I just grin. ‘I think you’ll find I can be quite… persuasive,’ I reply, dragging my fingertips across his chest gently, the feeling of my long red nails lightly scraping his skin making his amusement disappear, a shaky breath leaving his lips. He blinks a few times, knocking himself out of his little trance. ‘I’m not sure trying to seduce her will work,’ he says lightly, and I smirk at him. ‘Oh, I know. I’m planning something else for her. It’s you I’m trying to seduce,’ I murmur, resting my thumb against my lower lip with a small smile, making my eyes all big, and I see him visibly gulp.

‘It’s working,’ he says distractedly, sliding his arms around me and pulling me on top of him, and I meet his mouth in a kiss, unable to keep the grin off my face as our lips move against each other in a way that numbs my mind. ‘Wait, wait,’ he says after a few seconds, breaking away from me. ‘Does this mean you like me too?’ he asks, looking hopeful, and I think for a moment. ‘You’ve got potential. You’re… handsome, and your personality isn’t totally annoying,’ I admit begrudgingly, heart skipping a beat at the big smile that comes across his face. ‘But,’ I add, making his smile fall a little, ‘some of the appeal is the fact that you’re a pure soul, a heavenly little angel, and I’m quite the opposite. I wanna knock your halo off, angel boy, so you better hope I don’t get bored when I’ve done so.’

He doesn’t react with the hurt I expected, a small smirk playing at his lips instead, and before I can realise that we’re moving, he’s rolled us over, his body hovering over mine. His locks fall over his eyes, casting shadows across his face, and his grin makes him look more like the demons I walk among than the angel he truly is. ‘Don’t worry about getting bored, y/n,’ he murmurs in his sinfully deep voice, one of his hands coming to rest at the base of my throat and making my skin burn hot with desire. I can’t help but mirror his grin, impressed at this very out of character behaviour. ‘Why not, Lix?’ I ask teasingly, and he just smirks, hand tightening at my neck, his sparkly eyes locking with mine. He captures my mouth in a passionate and desperate kiss, murmuring against my lips; ‘I’ll keep you entertained.’

[i-like-plan-m]

If youre still taking prompts!! Someone releases the diary of the yiling patriarch to the masses, and it becomes something like a diary of anne frank equivalent. Opinions are changed.

Instead of being oblivious about his feelings, wwx knows that he likes lwj but never does anything about it bc he’s accepted that lwj will never like him back or that he’ll never be good enough to for him. (more in next ch!)

[Posted to Ao3: weariness follows, and the infinite ache] 

Necessity, they said, was the mother of invention. 

Nie Huaisang disagreed. Genius was the root of invention, and his friend had been proof of that. Necessity was the mother of revenge. Of retribution. 

Da-ge would have said justice. 

Da-ge was not here anymore. 

Nie Huaisang was all alone now, left with nothing but a role that had been meant for great men like his father and brother. 

His father, assassinated by a man so evil he’d barely been human by the end of the war.  

His brother, murdered by a monster of a different making. One they’d trusted, let into their home and treated like family. One who still smiled at Nie Huaisang and thought him too blind to see the looming, broad-shouldered shadow that stalked its killer’s steps. 

His brother’s spirit always felt closest when Jin Guangyao was near. Even death could not stop Nie Mingjue’s overprotective hovering, it seemed. Somehow that hurt worse. 

Necessity was the mother of revenge and genius the root of invention, whether that meant talismans or planning the downfall of a monster. Nie Huaisang was not a genius. 

But Wei Wuxian had been. Before his own brutal death, anyway. Even when sequestered away in a place of nightmares, he’d been constantly creating. 

Creating, and inventing, and filling dozens of notebooks with his usual disorganized ramblings. The notebooks had been seized by the Jins after the siege of the Burial Mounds. They didn’t notice when a handful went missing from their stores, snuck out of Lanling by a resentful servant with light fingers and a grudge against Jin Guangyao. He’d been easily bought off by a stranger in the city who’d never shown his face. 

“He really was a genius,” Nie Huaisang mused, flipping through one of his dead friend’s journals in the solitude of his own personal library. 

A scoff. “Demonic cultivation is demonic cultivation.” 

“Not all of it is demonic,” he argued. “Just parts of it.” 

He looked at the contents and reconsidered. “Actually, most of it is about farming and child raising and Lan Wangji. No wonder the Jins were so pissed.” Their treasure had turned out to be worthless, after all. 

This particular journal of Wei Wuxian’s had six pages straight of complaints about Wen Qing bullying him into sleeping and eating. Lan Wangji was mentioned no less than eighty seven times. There were rabbits and a child planted next to radishes and dozens of lotus roots doodled all over the pages. A few lines of writing had been lazily scratched out-- by the looks of it, Wei Wuxian had started writing all his characters upside down and backwards. It was right before the whining about Wen Qing stabbing him to make him sleep, which suddenly made a lot more sense. 

Nie Huaisang now owned eight of Wei Wuxian’s journals, relics of a young man who’d thrown his own life away for Wens, of all things. No surprise. He’d always had his own sense of justice. 

“Justice?” His brother’s voice was full of incredulous disbelief. “A-Sang, he killed thousands.” 

Nie Huaisang’s mouth twisted stubbornly. “They attacked him first,” he muttered. 

“Oh, that’s what you’re going with? ‘They started it’?” 

“Well, they did.” 

The only response was Nie Mingjue grumbling under his breath. The familiarity of it made Nie Huaisang smile, but it was the contents of the next page that made him laugh aloud. 

I don’t know why I keep wishing Lan Zhan was here. He’d hate this place. Just think: all the resentful energy everywhere, and Hanguang-Jun farming with the rest of us! Haha can you imagine? 

Ah. Trouble is, I can imagine. He was my soulmate. Or at least I thought so.

> That’s gay. 

Wen Qing!! Stop it!! Get your own journal!! 

> You left it open on top of my medicines. You are clearly at fault. 

You--!! I didn’t leave it there, I dropped it there when you STABBED ME with your damned needles!

> Don’t get all defensive just because I saw your love letters to Lan Wangji. 

LOVE LETTERS?! You are the WORST, and I can’t believe-- wait, why am I writing this when I can just come yell at you instead?

> I dare you :) 

(Don’t do it, Wei-gongzi!)

WEN NING, YOU TOO?! BETRAYAL ON ALL SIDES

“At least he had them, this time around,” Nie Huaisang said with a tired sigh. “What a terrible place to live.” 

“Stop sympathizing with the enemy.” 

“No,” Nie Huaisang said blithely. “Besides, he’s not the enemy. He’s dead.” For now.

“What do you mean, for now?” Nie Mingjue asked warily. 

“Just some thoughts, da-ge, nothing to worry about.” He subtly tucked another journal under his cushion so it was out of sight. That one had been far more illuminating. Something for later-- for the beginning of the endgame. 

A long silence while he read, and then... “You haven’t painted anything in months.” 

“I’m too busy for those things.” 

“You love those things.” 

“I love you more.” Nie Huaisang paused, staring hard at the blurry page in front of him. “There’s no joy in anything anymore.” 

“That can’t be true.” 

“It is,” he snapped, abruptly furious. “How can I care about painting when you’re dead? How can I remember what happiness is when I’m all alone?”

“You aren’t all alone.” 

“You are dead!” Nie Huaisang screamed, flinging the journal aside and shooting to his feet. His face was wet and his breath trembling, tears burning in his throat. “You left me. You are gone, and now I have no one. Not a single soul left in this god forsaken world; no one cares about me! I’m left with no family but your sworn brothers-- one who killed you, and the other who handed him the weapon to do it!” He whirled around to throw his brush against the wall, leaving a smear of black ink. “You are dead, and I am not, and there’s nothing I can do about it except kill the man who killed you.”

Silence. And then… 

“S-Sect Leader?” A hesitant knock at the door. “Are you alright? Who are you talking to?” 

Nie Huaisang swiped his eyes clear of tears and found an empty room. His heart lurched as reality returned. As the pain and grief and despair found him again.

“Just to myself, I guess,” he said distantly, unable to tear his eyes away from the place he’d imagined his brother to be. A ghost or a memory, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter either way. His brother was gone. 

“I’m fine. Leave me.” 

“Yes, Sect Leader.” Soft footsteps leading away, and then he was left with ringing silence and a hollow room. 

“He’s gone,” Nie Huaisang repeated shakily. A reminder he needed, as much as it hurt to say aloud.  “Da-ge is dead.” 

He stared into the candle’s flame until his eyes burned. His brother was dead and he was alone. There was little he could do about it… except get revenge for his brother’s soul. 

Nie Huaisang was not a genius. He was something better, something that would make his complex plans succeed: he was Nie Mingjue’s beloved little brother, whom no one considered a threat. They would never see him coming, would never realize his role or ruthlessness until his revenge was complete. 

Jin Guangyao would die for his crimes. Nie Huaisang would make sure of it. 

He sat back down. Took a breath before digging out the most important journal, and started taking notes. Nie Huaisang plotted with meticulous care long into the night, until his eyes drifted shut against his will. He staggered to his bed, sleep-drunk and heartsore, and collapsed onto it, too numb to bother dragging the blankets up the bed. 

He was on the verge of sleep when the blankets draped gently over his body. “Thank you, da-ge,” he said sleepily, and drifted off as a hand brushed the hair from his face with utmost care. 

[demonwifey]

ASK ASK ASK ASK BEETLEBOY GETS THE SNUGGLES HE DESERVES AND IS SOFT W READER WHO KINDA JUST HOLD HIM AND KISSES AWAY HIS INSECURITIES BC I KNOW IM SOFT FOR THIS MAN AND I WANNA SMOOCH HIM

Whew, so this took me a while to finish. The whole thing with the pandemic, police brutality, and I’m taking a 5 week summer class. It’s just been crazy. Thanks you guys so much for being patient while I hadn’t posted. I’m gonna try to post again sooner than later, so be on the look out for that. Hope you guys enjoy!💜🖤💚

Warning: Cursing, mentions of sex, slightly drunk reader

Word Count: 4,596

There was something wrong with Beetlejuice...besides the usual. Normally Beetlejuice was a firecracker that never fizzled out. His chaotic personality, among other things, is what you loved about him. He wasn’t normal like every other person you dated before, ignore the fact that he was literally a demon from hell. He was just better, in every way possible.

****

When you both first met, it was something you’d basically hoped for your whole life. You always had a thing for scary stuff. Horror movies, haunted houses, etc. Anything related to the supernatural, you wanted to know more about. You weren’t exactly sure why these things interested you so much, they just did. And, unfortunately for them, you always subjected your friends to joining you in any strange activity you participated in. 

You met Beetlejuice on your 25th birthday. Your friends asked you how you wanted to celebrate, hoping you would pick something ‘normal’. Maybe a club, a rooftop dinner, hell even mini golf sounded like a better plan then what you always had in mind. But you rejected their ideas, saying you wanted to go to the new haunted mansion attraction near your house. Your birthday was in October so all types of Halloween related attractions were coming to light. 

Of course, your friends all groaned at the idea, just wanting to not deal with anything scary for once. But they loved you nonetheless and just sucked it up like always. 

The day came for your haunted mansion adventures and you were too excited. When you all pulled up to the mansion, it looked like a regular house. The outside looked old and ratty but it didn’t look exactly terrifying. When you guys came up to the ticket booth, the hostess tried her best to sound scary. She talked in a low tone and sounded out her words as slowly as she could. Making it blatantly obvious that she was putting on an act. 

Once you all were inside, you were disappointed beyond belief. It was dark...and that was it. All the lights were turned off and there were black, what looked like, sheets hanging from the ceiling. There seemed to be a random strobe light sitting somewhere in the corner as flashes of black and white were hitting your eyes. So yeah, disappointed was definitely an understatement. 

Here you were, thinking you’d get the actual experience of a genuine haunted house but it turned out to be a cheap let down. Your friends were relieved though. They didn’t actually have to deal with anything too scary. Oh, well. They were convinced you wanted to leave at that point but you weren’t. They’d already bought tickets in so you all might as well stay. Plus, the house had three stories. Maybe you could find something interesting throughout this whole shitty thing. 

Knowing that you’d actually want to find something more scary, you told your friend you wanted to split up. They could take their time talking and staying on the main level. You decided to head up, trying to get to the attack. You could usually find interesting stuff in an attic. On your way up you were met with more and more corny attempts to be scary; random people jumping out at you, loud recorded screams coming from every direction, and having you walk through fake cobwebs as you made your way up. 

Finally you reached the top floor, but when you looked around there wasn’t any way to the attic. You were only met with a plain ceiling but decorated in cheap Halloween decorations. You were starting to feel bad that you made your friends spend money on tickets to the place. Well, you’ll probably just have to settle for dinner at a fancy restaurant like one of their other suggestions. 

Just as you turned to head back out of the empty bedroom you were in, the door slammed in front of you. ...Okay, you thought. Neat trick. You walked to the door to reopen it but just before your hand touched the doorknob, a small white card slid under the door. Your eyebrows furrowed as you reached to pick it up. The card read: 

Betelgeuse the Bio-Exorcist

Call: Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse

Speak My Name 3 Times

What the hell? Beetle-guise? Was this part of the tour? And why did that name look so familiar? You exited through the door but there was no one in sight. Shrugging your shoulders, you absentmindedly placed the card in your jacket pocket before heading down to meet back up with your friends. 

The night ended with you stumbling into your apartment, sober enough to make it home but drunk enough to stumble every few steps. If there was one thing your friends were good at, it was making sure you drank away your disappointment when things didn’t go your way. You plopped yourself down onto the couch, making a lackluster attempt to pull your shoes off. Feeling your head swim a little, that’s when you remembered that strange card you found. Being drunk always made your supernatural instincts kick in. Never forget the time you wrote a whole astronomy paper after your friends wanted to go out just before being flooded by work for finals. 

Wait...astronomy. You sat up on the couch, trying to rack your brain of why the name on the card sounded so familiar. That’s when it hit you. The name you remember your teacher going on about when you covered a section on stars, their brightness, and every other thing you barely cared about. 

Beetlejuice! Duh Y/N, you thought. The tenth brightest star in the night sky. You reached into your pocket, fumbling a little as you pulled the card out. Your vision was semi foggy but still clear enough to read the card. 

“Say my name 3 times.” You read to yourself. It was probably a bad idea, but hell. It was your birthday and you deserved to have some type of fun after the shitty let down from earlier. The liquor in your body finally pushed you forward to read out the name. 

“Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice!” You called out. Looking around your apartment, nothing had changed. 

You felt a few goosebumps and a slight chill cover your body but that was it. Probably just a mix of anticipation and the state of your drunken mind. You let out a small huff of air before getting up to head for your bedroom. Trying to steady yourself as you walked, you suddenly felt like you bumped into someone. Hold on, someone? You don’t have a roommate. You backed up a little bit before looking up to see a strange man standing in front of you. 

The man stood, wearing a black and white striped suit that looked so old and worn out, seeming as though it would need 200 washes before it was entirely clean. He looked so pale and had different spots of, what looked like, rotted mold on his face. To top it all off, the man had a bird’s nest of beaming green hair spiked in different on his head, his beard matching the same color. To put it lightly, he looked like a dead sleazy car salesman. And you found him...strangely attractive. Yeah, that had to be the 3 Fireball shots talking now.

“Well, helloooo, gorgeous!” A deep raspy voice came from the stranger in front of you. He eyed you up and down, looking at you as though you were his prey.  

“Uh, I-...uh.” You stammered with your words, trying to form a full sentence but failing completely. You took steps backwards as the strange man walked towards you. Panic started to hit you more and more, unsure of who this man was and what he was going to do to you. 

“I know, I know. I’m such a handsome and sexy piece of beefcake that you’re at a loss for words. I get that a lot.” He spoke while smirking at you. 

Well, he took some of the words right out of your mouth, that didn’t stop you from being terrified. Before you could get any further back, the man grabbed your arms and yanked you towards him. Without a second thought you began to use your fists to beat at his chest. You were just about to scream before he started laughing. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, babydoll. Here’s a little something to take the edge off.” The man spoke, just inches from your face. 

Before you could fully take in what he said, the man swung you around, both arms wrapped around your torso and waist. He dipped you down and planted a long deep kiss directly on your lips. Again, this was probably those shots talking, but you felt your head starting to swim again. Oddly enough, the kiss made you feel some type of way. Like you were actually enjoying it? Placing both of your hands on his chest, you deepened the kiss by pushing in more and ‘accidentally’ letting out a small sound that was close to a moan. All this despite the man’s lips tasting like actual graveyard dirt. 

You weren’t sure how long you two were like that, but what was probably a few seconds felt like hours to you. He finally stood you back up, his hands rested on your waist as you regained your footing. God, your head was running at 100 mph. You quickly made your way out the man’s grip before speaking again. 

“W-who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my apartment?” You demand. The mystery man only grinned before using his thumb to rub his bottom lip. 

“Mmm, is that cinnamon I taste? You just get sexier and sexier by the minute, babes!” The man laughed. Yeah, fuck Fireball shots ever again. You felt your face heat up but you stood your ground. 

“J-just get out or I’ll call the police! And I may not look like much, but I took karate for 5 years. I’ll fuck you up until they get here!” You practically screamed. It wasn’t a lie but you hadn’t actually practiced karate since you stopped going to class, which was when you were 13. The man laughed even harder at your attempts to seem tough. 

“Okay, dollface. If you’re gonna ‘fuck me up’ then what’d you call me here for?” He asked, gripping his stomach from laughing to hard. You blinked at him. 

“What?” You asked, starting to get frustrated with all the confusion. “What do you mean call you? I never called anyone. I don’t even know you.” 

“Don’t act too confused, babes. Your face is too adorable when you look like that. You got my card, right?” He asked. You made an even more confused face and he dropped his arms in half defeat. He turned to look around before picking up the card you dropped on the floor. He lifted it so you could see the front of it. “See, that’s me. The B-man himself.”

You didn’t really need to look at the card to remember what it said. You slowly started to feel the edge come off. 

“Beetlejuice? You’re Beetlejuice?” You asked, the tension leaving your body almost immediately. The demon man nodded with a grin before making the card in his hand disappear into tiny flames, pretty much confirming your question. 

“The one and only, babycakes. Mr. ‘Ghost with the Most’ right before your very beautiful eyes.” He replied, fixing his suit jacket confidently. Don’t ask why you felt so much more relaxed at the thought of a demon being in your home rather than a real life person. Within two seconds flat, your face went from confusion and fear to beaming joy. 

“Wait so, you’re a ghost? An actual ghost?” You asked, all too anxious to get every answer you’ve ever had in your head about the supernatural. Beetlejuice could see the excitement on your face. He chuckled before answering. 

“Yes, I am, hot stuff. But, you know my name,” Beetlejuice stepped more in your direction. With the panic actually cleared from your senses, you didn’t back up anymore. “I want to know yours.”  

“Uh, Y/N.” You spoke, feeling a little bit flustered under his gaze. 

The demon man gave you one last smirk before stretching his hand out to you. You gently set your hand in his. Beetlejuice guided you back over to the couch.    

“Well, Y/N. Tell me,” Beetlejuice spoke. He still held your hand while using the other to hold your chin. You just noticed the glowing golden color that filled his eyes. He used them to stare into your own, almost like he was locking you in a trance. 

“What are you dying to know?”

****

And ever since that day, Beetlejuice was all over you as much as you were on him. It started out as a simple flirtationship. Mostly having Beetlejuice come to tell you everything and anything you wanted to know about the Netherworld. 

With Betlejuice being the biggest flirt in the universe, you couldn’t escape his constant advances. Any time you two would talk, it would turn into nothing but crude sex jokes, pet names, and flirty touches that left you more flustered then you could bare. And you didn’t mind any of these things. You were actually fascinated by Beetlejuice and his presence as a demon that you didn’t care about his distasteful nature. 

That’s when it moved into your romantic relationship. Well, more of just a sexual relationship. Friends with benefits? Something along those lines. You didn’t exactly remember how it happened. The most you could think of was you two sitting on your couch, talking like normal. Next you knew, Beej was pushing some hair behind your ears, making you get lost in his eyes as he gained your attention. One moment you were apart, the next you were practically trying to swallow each other. Not long after did you get lost in each other's bodies as the air filled with sighs and moans.  

From there on, it was your regular routine. You would summon Beej on any random day. He’d go off some chaotic tangent about who knows what and you’d listen all too eagerly. After a while, whatever conversation you were having would somehow lead right into sex. And, you thought, the both of you were okay with it. But then you realized a weird shift in his behavior. For a while, your routine stayed the same but still a little off. Whenever you two would sleep together, Beej seemed as though he was overcompensating for something. 

Now, Beetlejuice was always cocky and overconfident but now it was almost like he was hiding something. During sex, it seemed like he was seeking your approval on everything. He started being rougher and wanting to please you in every way he could. You weren’t complaining per say, it was just noticeable. He wasn’t selfish during sex but he sure as hell wasn’t that considerate. And when you two weren’t having sex, he would constantly want to talk about you or do what you wanted to do. You didn’t understand why. You were a basic human like everyone else on the planet. Beetlejuice was a demon. You’d much rather want to talk about him but he wouldn’t budge.

The final straw came on a day when you two somehow got onto the topic of your ex’s. You usually didn’t talk about any of them unless it was with your friends, to which it was more of you all making fun of them. But Beetlejuice brought it up, asking how many men you’d been with before him. You only had 1 major boyfriend in high school and two in college. When you had got with Beetlejuice, you had just broken up with the 3rd ex a year before. And, somehow, that set Beetlejuice off. 

Suddenly his hair was a mix of red and yellow. His words were going at a mile a minute and his eyes were shining brighter than you’d ever seen. He was asking questions like “why did you break up”, “what was he like”, “did he do anything to you” and “how often did you guys have sex” You didn’t actually get to answer any of his questions but knew you had to stop him when you heard “did you love them” and “were any of them better than me”. You grabbed his face, trying to get him to relax and you softly told him to calm down. His cheeks felt like fire in your palms but you didn’t pull away. Beetlejuice huffed and puffed, trying to regain his sense as you cooed at him. After what seemed like 10 minutes, his hair switched to a dark blue and purple color mixed. With your hands still on his face, you noticed that he moved his hands upward to hold yours. Just as they were about to touch, he harshly pulled away. 

Beetlejuice jumped up from the couch before looking down at you. It broke your heart as you could see the clear sadness in his eyes. Just before you could reach up and say something, he disappeared. You heard him mumble “see you later, babes” right before he was gone. You looked at the spot he was in, too many thoughts running around in your head. Something was wrong with Beetlejuice, and you needed to figure out what. 

****

A week had passed after that whole incident and Beetlejuice wanted to act like it never happened. He popped back one day when you came home from work and didn’t even bring up his random spazzing moment. He knew you were going to try and bring up and immediately distracted you with a heated kiss. You didn’t really have a second to think as you both fell backwards on the couch. He deepened the kiss and slowly slipped his hand under your shirt. Well, he was gone for a week and you did miss him. All of him. You’d just have to find time to talk afterwards. 

~

Your room was hot now. All that sighing, grunting, and panting was making the air in your room very dense. You didn’t mind though. It truly was only worth it when Beetlejuice was the one making you feel good. You laid on your side, one arm draped on top of Beetlejuice’s chest. You had gotten used to the lack of movement because of his dead nature. He laid on his back, one arm under your head as the hand played in your hair. His other rested on the hand you had on his chest. Even with the room hot, you got a little bit of a cool sensation from his skin. Beetlejuice’s entire body was ice cold but in this moment, it was the perfect temperature for you. 

“Wow, that was amazing.” You huffed out, trying to steady your breathing. You felt him squeeze your hand. 

“You know I do my best, babes.” He spoke, trying to sound confident. Hearing the attempt in his voice made you remember your original plan. Although you were a little hesitant, unsure of how he would react, you still proceeded. 

“So, Beej,” You started. You subtly tighten your grip around him, hoping that he wouldn't leave once the words slipped out. “I think we should talk about last week.” 

You felt him stiffen in your grip. With your head on his chest you couldn’t see his facial expression. The uncomfortable silence that filled the air had you so far on the edge, you were practically ready to pull your hair out. You heard Beetlejuice swallow before he spoke again. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Y/N.” His voice was so stern that it almost made you flinch. By his standards, the conversation would’ve been over. And you almost considered it when you saw the hair on his chest turning red. You propped yourself up on one arm, now looking down at him. 

“Actually there is. Look, I know you might not want to talk about it but I do. You’ve been acting really weird these last few weeks and whatever that was last week seemed to the boiling point. Just tell me what's wrong.” You spoke. 

Using the hand still on his chest, your thumb rubbed softly against his cold skin. Now that you got a full look at Beetlejuice’s face, it made you more worried than ever. First, his hair was a mix of bright red and royal blue. The look on his face showed utter anger. He turned his head to look at you and his eyes seemed to glow way more than usual. 

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked while sitting up. His voice sounded agitated.

“No, not exactly. You’ve just been...” You paused for a moment, trying to word your thoughts correctly. “You’ve been acting...really...” God, it was easier in your head but you couldn’t get the words out. 

“Annoying?” He interrupted your thoughts. Your head snapped up immediately.

“What? No! I mean you’ve been-”

“Bothering you?” He interrupted again. This time you could see the red fading away with streaks of blue taking over all of his locks. Great, exactly what you didn’t want to happen was happening. 

“No!” You used both of your hands to grab his face, making him look directly into your eyes. You were about to say something else before he beat you to it. 

“I’m nothing like your exes?” He huffed out. What? What was he talking about, you thought. His eyes looked away while you still stared. 

“I-where did that come from?” You asked. He still didn’t look at you, his hair now completely blue. You two sat like that for a moment. You didn’t want to push too hard and scare him away, so you waited. 

“It’s just...” He started. You could see he was hesitant. You moved your hands down to his own, squeezing them, showing him that you were willing to listen. “Look, babes. This whole thing we’ve got going on, you being a human and me being a demon. It’s not every day that happens and...it gets me thinking, y’know.” 

“Thinking about what?” You pushed, convincing him to continue. You felt him squeeze your hands, just like you did before. 

“You’re alive. You live an actual life. And you had a life before I came along and sometimes I think I don’t...fit in anywhere.” You were so shocked by his words that you couldn’t speak. With your silence, Beetlejuice added more. 

“I got mad because I started thinking about all the things you might’ve had with your exes. All the things you could relate to with them, and not me. It made me feel…” You could see what he was trying to say without actually wanting to say it. 

Jealous, envious, insecure even. But it didn’t make sense to you. You always knew Beetlejuice had a desire to be alive but you didn’t think it was this bad. Especially when you knew being alive wasn’t really worth the hype. You found everything Beej has told you about the afterlife to be WAY more interesting. But now was not the time for that. You took a second to think before speaking again. 

“Listen, B. You should never compare old relationships to a current one. They ended for a reason. Trying to ‘do better’ and stressing out over it is only gonna drive you crazier than you already are.” You grinned. Although he wasn’t looking at you, Beej matched your grin and chuckled at your comment. You continued. 

“All my exes are assholes that didn’t deserve me. Whatever happened with them is irrelevant. And you being a demon is just as much irrelevant. Being what you are doesn’t make you any less deserving to be here. You’re here because I want you here. I love-” You stopped yourself just in time. Beetlejuice blinked while you fumbled to come with a save for yourself. “-having you here. You know that.” 

You wanted to focus on making Beetlejuice feel better. Not confessing your strong feels that quickly turned to love just within a few months of him being around. You could only assume he didn’t catch your staggering as his face turned gentle while strands of pink appeared within the blue. 

“Really?” He asked, his scratchy voice appearing quiet. As if you would take it back when he questioned it. You smiled fondly, moving your hands back to his face. Although all of him was rough, you held his cheeks as if they were made of glass. 

“Yes.” You answered simply. The look on his face made your heart feel warm. “I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you that I’m not gonna let your bad thoughts mess with what we have. Got it?” 

Any other day, Beetlejuice would’ve knocked down your dominant attitude with his harmless teasing, but he decided to let you have it. Giving you a wide grin, he nodded his head. Now that you’d gotten the response you wanted, you motioned him down so that you two could cuddle. Beej would never admit it, but he loved the intimate gesture. He loved holding you in his arms with the assurance that you would never leave. You two layed there for only five minutes before you noticed Beej’s uncomfortable squirming. You could tell he was trying to convince himself to say something else. 

“H-hey...uh, babes.” You heard him stammer behind you. You turned your head towards him slightly. 

“Yeah, B?” 

“Is, um, is it...y’know?” He stammered again. 

You didn’t want to interrupt him too quickly. So you touched one of the hands resting on your stomach, hoping it would calm him down. “Is it okay, if we...switch?” 

You already knew what he meant without needing any explanation. Despite his over-the-top nature, you always knew Beej had a soft side. There were plenty of times when smalle gestures like hand holding, leaning on his shoulder, or especially cuddling, that would make him lose his rough and tough demeanor. There were plenty of times when you would end up being the big spoon for Beej without realizing. Times when you fell asleep next to him, he would wiggle his way between your arms. When you woke up, he’d looked like he was on cloud nine. So this wasn’t really a surprise. It was surprising because he asked. 

Without giving him a vocal response, you turned all the way around. You gave a small smile before using your hands to turn him around as well. Once his back was towards you, your arms snaked their way around his stomach, mimicking the way he would always hold you. That’s when his hands moved on top of yours. 

“Thanks, doll.” He mumbled, trying to hide the genuine satisfied tone in his voice. 

You only responded with a kiss against his back. You would’ve laid your head down before feeling him shiver in your arms. Kissing his back again, you felt him loosen in your hold and let out a calmed sigh. There were times Beetlejuice made himself too easy to read. You spent almost the whole night pulling him harder into your grasp while also kissing him on his neck and back. There was no telling who enjoyed it more between you two. All you know is that when you woke up in the morning, you were back in your original position. Beetlejuice holding you, with no intentions of ever letting go.

Don’t ask me why this took me so long, but I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading and don’t forget that BLACK LIVES MATTER✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[rayshippouuchiha]

Ray!!! Oh my god you wrote Jiraya meeting Gaara!!! Ajhdkshs nestled in the Uzumaki spiral is Gaara's kanji ;v; girl you're killing me I legit got chills! It's amazing, thank you for sharing!! (Also, Jiraya's about to catch some Tsunade-shaped hands when he gets back to Konoha and has to explain that Naruto's gone bc Jiraya was too busy going to brothels and getting drunk to actually, you know, care for him. And imagine how angry Shikamaru's going to be)

I’m glad you liked the Gaara vs Jiraiya meet up and the token!

As for a glimpse into Tsunade’s reaction well ……….

~~~

It’s been four months.

Sixteen weeks.

112 days.

And there’s still been no word on Naruto. Only word on where he’s not.  On the places Jiraiya hasn’t found him yet.

Tsunade can still taste the rage and the sharp slash of resigned grief and fear that had cut through her the day Jiraiya’s message had arrived, carried by an uncharacteristically solemn faced toad.

‘I fucked up Hime,’ Jiraiya’s hurried scrawl had told her and the admission of guilt as an opening line had frozen her blood in her veins.  The rest of the message had sent it to boiling.  ‘Brat took off. Left a note saying he’d be back when the time came.  He’s not gone rogue but he is gone.  I’ll find him.’

And now it’s been four months and Jiraiya, the famed spy master of Konoha, hasn’t been able to find hide nor hair of a single genin who routinely wore orange and had a personality as loud and noticeable as the sun.

Every single day without word has been a test of patience for her.  A test of her willpower.  A battle against her better instincts, the ones that tell her to leave, to take Shizune and start a search of her own.

To find the little brat that had dragged her back to this place by her heartstrings and then to do the same to him.

She’d kept the news of Naruto’s missing status close to her chest for a number of reasons.  The Council, Danzo, the general shinobi or civilian population, none of them could know that Naruto was gone.  Was completely unaccounted for.

Kakashi, for all of his faults and all of his less than stellar handling of his entire relationship with Naruto so far, absolutely could not know Naruto wasn’t nestled right in Jiraiya’s shadow like he’s supposed to be.

Tsunade has no desire to watch the last Hatake go his own version of feral.  Or to have to peel him off of Jiraiya’s bloody corpse.

She’d seen enough of Sakumo once upon a time to know that was an outcome none of them wanted to deal with.

Especially not when she knows she’d be more than tempted to let the man have free reign over doling out the ass kicking that Jiraiya more than likely deserves.

If only because she’s barely holding onto the urge to maim him herself.  It’s only the fact that he hasn’t stepped foot back in the village yet that’s truly saved him.

And when the time comes and they inevitably cross paths again … well then all bets are off and that’s one gamble Tsunade has no intention of losing.

Because she knows, she knows, that this is all Jiraiya’s fault somehow.  Even without his outright admission of guilt she’d still know it.

Even then it’s difficult to imagine what had driven Naruto to pull up stakes and leave Jiraiya’s side.

She remembers the soft, hurt, look that had fluttered across Naruto’s face when she’d told him the truth about Jiraiya, but even more than that she remembers the brittle sort of hope that had come on its heels.

The idea of that brat doing anything but clinging to Jiraiya’s hemline is hard to imagine.

But, at the same time, a part of Tsunade thinks she might understand whatever it was that had finally driven Naruto away better than anyone would think.

She’d spent over a decade running from her own demons after all, from the pain and the guilt and the anger.

She can only imagine just how far and how fast Naruto might feel the need to go before he finds some kind of peace.

Before he finds whatever it is he’s undoubtedly looking for out there.

Still, no matter what, she’ll be here waiting for him to send word or to get back on his own.  She’ll keep it secret, keep him safe the best way she knows how, and she’ll keep sending Katsuyu’s children out to do some discrete scouting of her own.

And when the time comes and he’s back where he should be, she’ll kick his ass again for making her worry so much.

[beetlebitchywitch]

If you want more incubus beej requests what about one where he makes you squirt for the first time and just can’t get enough of it. Include all the kinks you want! (preferably have a bratty reader tho) there is no such thing as too much

yoI’m so glad someone finally asked me for squirting bc I’m a kinky bitch and I have a problem

Warning: overstimulation, dirty talk, lil bit of a daddy kink but not much, one lecherous, horny incubus, but also feelings and stuff because I have feelings and Beej has feelings too

It’d been about a month since you’d started “feeding” Beetlejuice, and you learned very quickly to let go of expectations. 

Your first night with him, you came...6 times? 7? Honestly, you lost count. You personally felt that Beej was being a little gluttonous, but the way he smiled up at you from between your legs...well, you could stand to let him feast now and again.

He disappeared for days at a time, usually, and often returned either drunk or roughed up. You never asked what he got up to, and frankly, you didn’t need to know. You were his feeder, and you were comfortable with that.

...Oh who the fuck were you kidding. You adored him, and your heart broke every single time he left. But he made you feel wanted, and sexy, and loved, even if he didn’t actually love you. You could deal with it. You could handle this! 

You couldn’t handle this. 

But again, being with Beetlejuice taught you not to hold onto expectations. You didn’t expect him to, but...maybe he’d exceed them. Someday. 

When he did finally reappear, it’d been 6 days since you’d seen him. He was sober, thankfully, and only a little dirtier since you last saw him, so you figured he hadn’t been up to anything as wild as you expected he usually was. You glanced over your shoulder and smiled at him from your place at the sink, your sudsy hands dutifully scrubbing at a plate. He smirked, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist, his fingers spreading out over your tummy. 

“Mm, you smell good, baby,” he purred, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “Been too long since I’ve had you.”

“And whose fault is that, hmm?” you asked slyly, continuing to wash your dirty dishes. “Where’ve you been?” 

“Takin’ care of some Netherworld business, babes, you would not believe how rowdy people can get down there. But now that I’m here...how’s about you let Daddy take care of you?” He trailed kisses over the sensitive skin of your neck, his hands trailing down to your thighs. 

“How’s about you let me take care of these dishes?” you retorted. Of course, you tilted your head to the side to allow him more room for his ministrations. “Some of us have breather responsibilities, you know? Jobs, chores, dishe-mmph.” God, his mouth was fucking sinful. 

“And you wanna be thinkin’ about all that breather shit right now?” he whispered, his breath rushing hotly over your skin. “When you could be thinkin’ about me?” You sighed happily, leaning back fully into his embrace as you wiped the remaining suds onto your jeans. 

“Alright, you hungry bastard, upstairs,” you commanded with a chuckle. With a celebratory whoop, he swung you up into his impatient arms and rushed up the stairs, pressing tiny kisses to your laughing lips. He tossed you unceremoniously onto your bed and crawled on top of you, letting his hands drag over your hips. 

“Mm, you look good enough to eat, snack,” he groaned, nipping at your lower lip. “And I am fucking starving.”

“Better hop to it then, hotshot,” you chuckled breathlessly, already rushing to remove your clothing. “Unless you don’t have it in you?”

And oh, that got the loveliest growl to rumble in his chest, his claws poking dangerously into your skin as he clutched your hips to drag you against him. 

“Don’t fuck with me, feeder,” he warned, his voice low and dangerous and wonderful. “You know what happens when you get bratty.”

“Oh, do I?” you teased. Of course you did, and you needed it right now. “Must’ve forgotten. Why don’t you remind me? Unless you have more ‘Netherworld business’ to deal with...” Beej laughed darkly before snapping his fingers, getting rid of the rest of your clothing. 

“Who gives a fuck about the Netherworld when I have my sweet, warm little feeder who needs a good fuck to remember who she belongs to?” he said with a smirk, spreading your legs open to deeply inhale the absolutely intoxicating scent of your arousal. “Ngh, baby, if I wasn’t already dead, I’d want to die between your fuckin’ legs.”

“Very sexy, babe, Jesus Chriiiiiiiiifuck-” because he buried his face into your pussy and began playing you like a goddamn fiddle, and far be it from you to keep it to yourself. His tongue flicked so perfectly against your clit before he dragged the flat of it up the length of you and you clutched at his hair and groaned because fuck, you missed this. You missed him.

He groaned as he ate you out, digging his sharp fingertips into your thighs as he tasted you greedily. You tasted so sweet, and with every swipe of his tongue he felt crazier and crazier for leaving you alone for so long. 

“Fuck, Beej, so good,” you moaned, grinding your hips into his mouth. 

“Good? Pfft, this is small potatoes, snack cake,” he said, his lips shining with your wetness. “Want Daddy to give you more, hmm?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Say it.”

“Beej...”

“Say it.”

“Daddy, please, I need more!” you groaned, frustrated by the fact that his mouth was so goddamn close but still not touching you. “Wanna cum so badly...wanna feed you...”

“That’s what Daddy likes to hear, sweet thing,” he groaned before diving back in in earnest. He plunged two fingers into you, curling them against the exact right spot while the tip of his tongue circled your clit and you were cumming before you could even process it and-

You heard it before you felt it. As you came, you squirted on the sheets and your thighs and Beetlejuice’s face and you couldn’t stop your legs from shaking. For a moment, he paused, the shock evident on his face as your cum literally dripped from his lips...lips that quickly spread into a gigantic grin.

“Oooooh fuck yes,” he groaned loudly, quickly laving his tongue over your clit as he began to finger you in earnest, pulling a scream from deep in your chest. You were squirting again, and again, and again, and each time Beej just cooed against you, encouraging you to give him just one more. You trembled violently beneath him, each orgasm falling just over the edge of too much, but you fucking loved it. You loved how eager he was to taste you, to practically drink you dry each time you came. You’d never been fucked so well in your life and you couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering incoherently. 

“Beej, fuck, it’s so much...” you mumbled, arching your back as he drove his fingers mercilessly into your G spot. 

“Come on, feeder, one more for me, I know you can, God I love you so fucking much-”

Fuck. Fuck. 

You threw your head back and shrieked as he pulled one last orgasm from your aching body, pleasure mingling with pain as you squirted into his mouth, making him groan as he ground out his own orgasm against the mattress. When he finally pulled his fingers out of you, your sheets were absolutely soaked, as was Beej’s blissed out face and his overworked fingers. His eyes were wide and almost panicked, blinking rapidly as if realizing the exact words that just came out of his mouth. Your chest heaved with every deep breath you took, attempting to center yourself after that onslaught of pleasure and-

“Did you just...?”

“No!” he cried defensively, refusing to meet your gaze as a pink hue crawled its way through his hair. You beamed, feeling your heart swell as his hair betrayed him. You’d never seen it turn pink before. 

“Yes, yes you did! You said you loved me!” you cried out, grabbing at his shoulders to pull him up so you were face to face. 

“OK, so what if I did?” he stammered, hurt finding its way into his voice. “What, you gonna kick me out now? Send me packing because the big bad demon fell in love with yo-”

“I love you too.”

“Because I’ll go, it’s fine, it doesn’t matter how I feel...wait, what?”

“I love you too, you fucking idiot, come here,” you said, pulling him into a firm kiss. You felt the tension in his body melt away as he pressed himself against you, your fingers tangling in his hair. 

“Babes...you really mean it?” he asked as he pulled away. 

“Of course I mean it!” you laughed, rubbing his cheek with the pad of your thumb. “I was afraid you didn’t mean it!”

“Didn’t mean it? Come on, Y/N, have you seen yourself? You’re gorgeous, you’re funny, you’re so goddamn sweet, not to mention that you don’t mind that I’m a demon...how could I not fall for you, sweets?” 

You shook your head in disbelief and dragged him in for another kiss, holding close as your heart beat rapidly in your chest. Everything you wanted was suddenly right in front of you and it overwhelmed you nearly to the point of tears. 

“I love you so much,” you whispered against his lips. He sighed happily, pulling you as close as he could, content to just feel your warmth against you. 

“I love you too, babes...always.”

Hi I got r e a l l y corny because I’m feeling some feelings but I hope that satisfied your need for squirting ok bye

[night-dragon937]

I need to share my experience from a few hours ago (writing this at 2 am aug 24 2020) yesterday but first I'm going to slap a huge tw: abuse, Christianity/gay stuff, anxiety attacks, and yelling/screaming, transphobia/homophobia, self harm/cutting and a lot of cussing/swearing onto this. Like this is deeply religious and I'd rather not have discourse on my beliefs.

That should cover it...

Okay so it started out fine, my mom and i were just talking. She was drunk, and attempting to convince me that my asexuality meant that i was straight... But since she was drunk, I'mma give her that. There was a lot of aphobia but that's not what this is about She started telling me about her experience, and best i can describe it, she's a closeted demisexual biromantic lady with a preference for girls and a shit ton of internalized homophobia ("being sexually attracted to women's bodies more than men's doesn't make me lesbian, I'm still straight")

It was a mostly civil conversation, but it was adding onto my bad feelings from my dad the past several weeks making snide hurtful remarks about our religion and my sexuality and gender. Also using the f-slur against me when i had explained to him in the past how badly that word hurts me, to which he apologized profusely and said he'd never have used that word if he knew how it affected me. Obviously a lie, because he's still using it with full knowledge of the effects.

Back to my mom. She started getting into the religious side of it, but we managed to keep it civil, until the very end when she said she'd be praying for me and i said I'd be praying to help figure out who exactly i am, and she remarked "make sure you're praying to the right person" with a really threatening tone to her voice. At that point, i lost it, let her know that her saying that made me want to go back to cutting (in case she wasn't aware) and said that i needed a moment alone (or something along those lines, i was thrown head first into an anxiety attack and can't quite remember very well).

I ran upstairs as she tried to grab me and pull me back, but i managed to make it to my room. I went into a fetal position, because safe, but she came in and all i remember is her screaming repeating some question, i think, at me, me not being able to breathe, her hands squeezing my wrists way too tight, my wrist pinned to the carpet with her knee, the other with her hand as she tried to grab my jaw and force me to look at her.

Her touching me made the attack worse (hours later i still have marks and scratches) and i couldn't talk, think, or breathe. Somehow i was able to choke out repeated pleas for her to stop touching me because it was making everything worse. I don't know how long that lasted. But at some point she stopped grabbing me and just placed her hands on me and started praying in tongues. Like i was fucking demon possessed. Because i had an anxiety attack. Which my parents have been triggering in me for as long as i can remember.

I managed to sit up and get her to stop touching me, but she refused to be less than a foot away from me, even though i was going through a sensory overload and needed personal space. She finally trapped me into a corner of my room and put her arms on either side of me, one of them holding the door closed. She was screaming in my face and i was yelling over her, asking her to give me personal space and stop being so loud so that i could calm down, which she refused. I ended up very trapped and very uncomfortable and doing my best to not have another anxiety attack while replying to the most outlandish of her accusations, but mostly keeping my mouth shut in an attempt to get her to do the same.

She kept using my deadname, like usual, but it was worse for me for some reason at this point. I mentioned that and got yelled at more. I mentioned her pinning my wrists to the ground and got called a liar and she tried to make it so that i couldn't leave and grab a Kleenex until i admitted she was right and that i pinned myself to the ground (???). So i just started describing what i remembered until she got sick of it and let me go wipe my nose. She must have closed my door when she first came in. My dad (stepdad) was standing outside the door, eavesdropping, apparently.

I got a Kleenex but then my mom started yelling at me again, but i mostly just pretended to listen because i didn't want to have another anxiety attack. My dad started piping in and making me feel so much worse. He ended with saying "you're not a Christian. You don't believe in God. Even the devil believes in God." (Implying that I'm worse than the devil). At which point i started breaking down crying. And then i ran outside to have another anxiety attack but this time my mom just stood on the porch because the grass was wet and she was barefoot, but i curled up under the stars for who knows how long as i forced myself to do breathing techniques, and stim by rubbing the wet grass, which really helped ground me.

I went back inside when i was feeling better and got a drink of water and a Kleenex. And they started telling me how much they loved me and that i might not see it, but they were doing this out of love, because they were concerned for my eternity. I kept pointing out things they were doing that hurt me and better ways to do it (constructive criticism, so they know what's bad for me) and they repeatedly told me how much worse they could make it for me and that i should be glad they didn't make it worse. I pointed out that this didn't make their actions better and they said "doesn't make them wrong, either." Which ????? Victim blaming, abuse, what?

I brought up the times I've cried out to God for answers and the few times He's responded, (refusing my request for Him to kill me, telling me I'm not going to Hell for being gay/queer) bc they kept bringing up a few dubiously translated verses of the Bible and they told me that i was listening to the wrong person. That i was worshipping the wrong one. They heavily implied that i pray and worship the devil (disclaimer: i don't judge those who do, that's your life, I'm not gonna try and decide it for you, also i can admit that the church of Satan makes valid points and treats people right, from what I've seen, this is just a huge insult for them to throw at me specifically because of what I've been taught my whole life). Also invalidating my whole experience just because they don't like it.

They keep bringing up me being involved in the community (following queer people on social media, having one queer shirt, going to gsa-which they told me I'm not allowed to be a part of anymore-, having queer friends) as me seeking validation and attention, and that i shouldn't need validation and it shouldn't be about validation if I really think that this is who i am. Aka, because i am human and seek human things, i must be a total fake and fraud about all I've told them (very little). Meanwhile they do the exact same thing with their friends and social media and each other and everything.

My dad kept piping up with totally unrelated, totally unhelpful comments and tangents while my mom recited the same 5 min spiel for at least half an hour. My dad was saying how my grandparents aren't actually Christians because they agree with me that the world isn't black and white and there are some shades of gray, and because they believe once saved, always saved. That there is nothing you can do, as an imperfect human, to remove yourself from the infinite and unconscious love of God. (... I can't believe he fucking believes that humans have the ability to overrule God because it makes it easier for him to blame and condemn people he sees...)

These are the grandparents who have loved me regardless of my sexuality and gender, even tho they don't agree, and made me feel loved and gave me a place to go when i need to escape from my parents. They're the reason I'm keeping my mom's maiden name (since it hasn't been legally changed) because it's their last name, and it's them i want to honor, not my abusive shitty hateful stepdad. Unfortunately they are moving into assisted living because my papa is in a wheelchair, so i can't move in with them.

He ended that tangent with repeatedly telling me that i was not saved. That i was not a Christian. That i didn't believe in God. And that i was going to Hell. Repeatedly.

My mom made me hug her and made me tell her i love her. I ended up exercising to stop myself from becoming suicidal. I don't know if I'll tell anyone irl apart from the one irl friend i have on here. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my therapist or not. I reached out to two of my christian friends after everything but they were both asleep. I needed to write this all down and put it somewhere public, just to be safe. I'm not safe in my own home and i can't move out because I'm a. Under 18 and b. Broke as hell

There was a lot more that happened, this lasted several hours, but i honestly can't remember all of the details besides what i typed out. Anyway so yeah i kinda wish i were dead but i also wanna stay alive for spite and show them that i can be a fabulous queer Christian and that the world is colorful, and you can't reduce that to monochrome and expect to have an even partially accurate view of the world. I want to help others like me, and help them feel better about myself.

I'm setting this as a queue so that if my parents take my phone away, they can't stop me from posting it (they have no clue how to look at queued posts) and also so that i can go to bed now and look at it again later and edit it

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER 

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much