#been a while since I bragged about this online
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I don't know if anyone else is counting voice actors for this, but fuck it, I am.
Steve Blum retweeted a video I posted from Fan Expo Boston '21. Fast forward a few years, and Beau Billingslea commented on my tweet where I talked about meeting him at AnimeNEXT '23.
So yes, half of the main English dub cast of Cowboy Bebop, besides being super nice when I met them in person, have acknowledged me on Twitter.
has a celebrity ever noticed you on social media?
#been a while since I bragged about this online#steve blum#beau billingslea#spike spiegel#jet black#cowboy bebop#sometimes good things happen on twitter
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I think people need to understand that when someone says the situation in Israel/Palestine is complicated they are not necessarily saying that the discussion of who the oppressor vs oppressed is complicated. The Israeli government has been oppressing the Palestinians for a very long time, that is clear, and it is not complicated to understand that at least since the 80s they have had dramatically more financial and military power to keep control of the territory in the way they like.
However, it is reductive and dismissive to insist that there is no complexity in the potential ways to move forward to bring peace to the region. Despite what people on tumblr.edu like to believe, "Israel should never have been created" is not a practical solution to an incredibly heated geopolitical situation in the present day. Israel was created and it does exist. 10 million people live there. 74% of the population is native born and the country has existed for 75 years. Hand waving these fact away with the opinion that "they should move back to where they came from" may make you feel good about being a Radical Leftist, but it does not give anyone a road map for how exactly millions of people without dual citizenship are supposed to just up and evaporate. Nor does it acknowledge the reality that 21% of Israelis are Arabs, the very people you are claiming to want to give the land back to.
Insisting that there's nothing complicated about expecting an entire country's population to willingly dissappear with no consequences is not a productive way to think about this conflict. It ignores the many massive superpowers that have an interest in proping up different states in the region, the power dynamics involved in any land back movements, and the inevitably negative consequences of totally dissolving an established state without a plan. It is also completely and almost comically unrealistic, so much so that it makes it hard to believe that anyone who's opinion starts and ends with this idea really gives a shit about anyone who lives in the area as much as they care about their online leftist clout.
There's nothing complicated in understanding that the Israeli government is and has been maintaining an oppressive apartheid state for decades. It is, however, very complicated to come up with a realistic way to resolve some of the most intricately entangled land disputes on the planet without plunging the region into total chaos. Not everyone has to be deeply educated on every geopolitical situation, but it is very hard to take people seriously when they know nothing about the politics or history of a region and yet insist that there is nothing complicated about it at all.
There's a lot of people on this website who are getting dangerously smug about their own ignorance, and are starting to go down Qanon type anti-intellectual paths in the name of being sufficiently radical. Not knowing the details of a very convoluted land dispute isn't something to brag about online as you call for intentionally reductive solutions. You can support the Palestinian cause and be aware of the oppression they have faced while also holding off on calling people trying to do real analysis and de-escalation work bootlickers. We need to get control of the urge to fit every global issue into a simplistic YA novel narrative structure that appeals to Western revolutionary fantasies.
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Can I request a Simon Ghost x an super model male reader. Like a very famous runway model and could it be headcanons thank you papa bearr!!💞
SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY X MODEL MALE READER
⚠️Could be also gn reader!!⚠️
— He never understands why you date him. You could had have anyone in the world and you choose him.
— Really loves supporting you and he’ll come to your runway shows every time he has time for it.
— His little secret is that he cuts out your face from magazines to put in his wallet or phone case.
— He has all the power to brag about you. Because his boyfriend, you is an supermodel and he likes to bring it up any time the topic of significant others. He isn’t using you, he just like to mention and brag about you.
— On some occasions he’ll be backstage with you watching you get ready to go out and walk.
— You two don’t have a lot of time together.
— Since military work and modeling are entirely time consuming jobs you two mostly rely online on long distance dating.
— Even when he’s gone at an deployment he’ll be on the phone with you the whole time and most of the time he’s not even talking just doing work while he keeps the presence of you on his phone.
— He loves seeing your photoshoot with brands and companies.
— He’ll watch any commercial of you. He never skips the add and will sit there for how ever long the add is to watch you.
— Since your an supermodel your already famous so whenever you two haven’t talked in a while he’ll search up videos of you.
— Even when you two have been arguing he’ll be watching videos cursing under his breath.
— Loves taking off guard pictures of you. He doesn’t tell you he loves you often but his actions really shows it even the actions he does it private.
— You convincing him to do one of those couple photoshoots.
— He appears on your social media post. Like his leg will be in the picture or hands. Even one time his mask was just laying in the background of an selfie. Or he was the one who took the picture.
— He’ll sit in the crowd watching your runway shows.
— Every pet name he has for you compliments your appearance like “Pretty boy.” “Beautiful.” And more he’s not a huge romantic or anything.
— You two making out in a secluded corner before you go out and walk.
— One time things got to heated and be left a hickey on your neck. It wasn’t any time for the makeup artist to cover it so you just went out and walked with his mark on you.
— At first he felt so guilty.
— Until he would stay up at night thinking about how much he loves marking you, to tell the world and your fans that your taken and owned.
— He shyly brings it up to see if you’ll be into that and if your on board he’ll leave more marks on you.
— Soon it became an trademark and whenever people ask about it you’ll tell them that your boyfriend gave it to you.
— Ghost feels like an teenage girl every time you tell them the blunt truth about how your boyfriend gave it to you.
THE END
#x male reader#male reader#male reader insert#x male y/n#amab reader#x reader#x gn reader#X reader#simon riley x male reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x male reader#ghost x reader#cod x reader#cod x male reader#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost mw2 x male reader#mw2 x male reader#mw2 x reader#x gender neutral reader#x gender neutral y/n#the bear club
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nsfw - minors/ageless dni, i will hard block you. narumi x f!reader. they are online dating. gen is so cringe fail loser online boyfriend coded to me and i'm utterly obsessed enamored in love with him. back and forth, mentions of mutual masturbation and sending nudes, suggestive conversation, open ended to write more about them. | divider thanks to cafekitsune, wc 1.7k
Gen’s phone pings with a notification on this desk. His eyes widen despite the fact he is mid digital conflict, tossing fireballs at the final boss of the latest game he’s managed to master and beat in roughly three days, muttering to himself while clicking the direction pad with one hand and sliding his phone haphazardly into his lap with the other.
A tiny piece of him is hoping that the notification is thanks to new results showing up under his saved search for Captain Narumi though he isn’t angry at what he does see on the screen when he looks down at it for the briefest moment, ignoring his handheld boss battle.
fallingstarwishes: you are always online at the strangest times…
The little icon of a cartoon version of you, the character you play in the game where the two of you originally became friends, next to the message stirs a little warmth in his face. He presses his lips together to hide a smile and turns back to the fireballs being hurled at the titular hero of the game, dodging them expertly, inevitably going to win this battle just as he wins all of the rest.
Another ping distracts him, at least momentarily, and the screen in lap lights up.
“Shit, just give me a minute,” he mutters impatiently toward his phone, red eyes flicking down to see another message from you.
fallingstarwishes: don’t you ever sleep? it’s so late (early?), silly.
It may be 4 am for him and roughly 2 pm for you but what you don’t know is that an hour ago he was spearing through the technicolor core of a kaiju four times his size that leveled three city blocks with just the sound of its roar using just his bayonet. He can’t leave blanks about who he is and what he does for much longer. As badly as he’s wanted to boldly brag to you about his prowess, he has always known it can make or break the two of you when the truth comes out.
The right time to mention the whole life threatening and dangerous job thing hasn’t quite come up yet, though. You know he’s in the military although he has never been entirely forthcoming about what that entails and you’ve never asked.
He thinks about how fresh things still are between the two of you. Less than a year of knowing one another, a chance meeting in a large server for a big title slice of life game that came out last year, that has since turned into late nights (for you) messaging, gaming, and eventually voice chatting and giggling together until one of you is forced to go - either to bed or work.
He fires off a few more fireballs at the boss, dodging the weakly tossed few they return, and the screen goes into the cutscene that effectively declares yet another victory for him. Smiling, he sets the handheld console aside, and curls his fingers around his phone. The screen fills with the conversation between the two of you, messages sent all hours of the day every day, the last one a picture of you laying in bed last night in a suggestive position claiming to be thinking of him.
His gaze fixates on the photos for a moment, greedily looking at what he was only able to glance at before he left for his mission. He slides down to the chat bar and smirks, seeing your status go from idle to online when you notice he’s typing back to you.
captaincool: Aren’t you at work right now?
You grin from miles away, discreetly looking around the office to make sure nobody can see you using a messaging app that is very obviously not work related during your paid hours. It’s not like you’re in danger of getting caught but there is something particularly delicious about having your own little love affair nobody else has to know about. It’s just the two of you, always, in a world (or worlds, when you consider how many hours the two of you have spent across games) you’ve created to enjoy together.
Tapping out a message, you furrow your brow and jiggle one of your ankles where it’s crossed over the other.
fallingstarwishes: stop answering my questions with new ones of your own!
Gen smiles down at the screen, thumbs tapping the edges of his phone, anxiously waiting to see what you’ll say next.
fallingstarwishes: now, what are you doing up?
fallingstarwishes: bored?
fallingstarwishes: lonely?
fallingstarwishes: need me to sing you to sleep?
Chuckling at the singing suggestion, he scrolls back up enough to see that pretty picture you sent him and hisses to himself, his adrenaline finally coming down to a normal enough level he can focus on something else besides the rapid beating of his heart and the thrill of the battle.
captaincool: A song? Just for me? Aren’t you sweet
Raising a brow while firing off his message, he wonders what the two of you actually are. There are times he absolutely considers you his girlfriend or something like it. You’ve discussed crossing the ocean to come and see him more than once though the concept of actually having a girlfriend makes him unexpectedly anxious. Someone to remember birthdays and anniversaries for. Someone who wants you where she wants you when she wants you there. Someone with demands, a comically large pair of scissors to cut his wings and keep him from being himself.
Although you’ve never given him any indication you’d want to do that, it’s something he has to reflect on. His feelings are real but so are the ties that come with them if he were to act on them.
fallingstarwishes: that isn’t even the sweetest i’ve been to you this week. did you forget last wednesday night already?
Damn, you make it hard for him to not act.
captaincool: How are you going to tell me to sleep and then remind me of that?
Of course he remembers Wednesday evening for you (early in the day on Thursday for him). He remained locked inside of his room for an hour while your soft moans of his name filled his headphones over video chat. Begging him please, telling him how badly you wished it was him instead of your short fingers…he remembers every last moment.
He remembers most of all the sound of his name from your mouth. It’s what sends him over the edge every single time the two of you are able to sneak in a session of mutual masturbation from all these miles and hours away. It also is what he cums to when he’s simply listening back to videos and voice notes or his own imagination.
fallingstarwishes: :) <3 just making sure you remembered who you’re dealing with. you didn’t even react to the picture i sent!
Gen scrolls back up to glance at the photo, sliding downward in his chair, thighs spreading instinctively. He places his phone down on his desk and slides his hand beneath the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down enough that his half hard cock pops over his underwear. Reaching for his phone, he positions it so that the camera captures just the cut of his Adonis belt and the barely visible crown of him, snapping a picture to send back to you. He holds the phone back from his face and smirks appreciatively at his own artistic ability, happy with the subtle gleam of his arousal beginning to flow and bead on the tip of his dick.
The photo is fired off with an accompanying cheeky message.
captaincool: Is this confirmation enough that I liked it?
Your eyes widen when the photo comes through, hands shaking slightly. He isn’t the only one who recalls the sound of a name from a pair of lips they wanna feel on every inch of their body in this scenario, now is he?
fallingstarwishes: you should have spoilered that! what if my boss would’ve walked up?
Gen chuckles at your response, pulling down his underwear and letting his now fully erect cock spring free. He’ll handle this and then he’ll be more than ready to pass out although he wishes he could stay up all through the day just to talk to you. He throbs, needy and wanting for a fist that he knows would grip him just right that sadly exists an ocean away and only in his mind. He taps out a message with his free hand, rubbing the thumb of his opposite hand over his slit and moaning low in his throat.
captaincool: Then you would have to explain why you are on your phone during work anyway.
Giggling to yourself, you know he’s right. You spare a few more seconds to glance at the pretty picture on your screen, thinking about your attachment to the man and his penis both, wondering if there will indeed be a day where you are faced with them both in person. Your thumb swipes across the screen, a small gesture that is full of longing while your heart beats in time with your rapid thoughts, and you finally respond.
fallingstarwishes: handle that and then get some sleep. i’ll be around tonight and hope we can spend some time together. sweet dreams gen ♥️
His fist works up and down his shaft and he reads the message with a satisfied half smile, discarding his phone to focus on how good he feels imagining bouncing you up and down on his cock. He’s powerful and strong, more than you could even imagine, and he’d make quick work of you if he were to have his hands on you.
God, he needs his hands on you. He whimpers and shuts his eyes tightly, the slick sound of his motions bouncing off of the clutter and boxes in his room that he’ll eventually get to clearing out. It doesn’t ever take him long when he pictures you, his balls tightening, threatening to spill across his fingers in damn near record time compared to how long he likes to make himself wait when the two of you are doing this together.
But don’t worry, when he finishes, he’ll make sure that you see his pearly release all over his knuckles with a message promising he’ll have sweet dreams because you will be in them.
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Sweet Spot {part 3}
{part 1}{part 2}{part 3}{part 4}{part 5}{part 6}
Baker Felix x Florist reader
summary: Before the ceremony, you unfortunately have to face your ex. Though with Felix there to back you up when Johnny starts being rude, there's a tension you haven't felt before. How will you survive watching your ex get married? // genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut // word count: 3.6k // warnings: adult dialogue, sexual themes //a/n: if you're not on the taglist and would like to be, please reply to this post or send me an ask!🥰
(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
I have only posted this here and on AO3 - user: spookwyrdie
Before doing anything else, you need to go take a very cold shower. For one, you need to scrub off all the plant matter currently staining your hands. Secondly, you need to douse this awful combination of anxiety and lust that’s been building up throughout the week. The idea of Johnny walking down the aisle has been simmering away in the back of your mind and the confusing fresh wave of desire for Felix has not been helping. When you try to untangle the thoughts from one another, it feels like trying to diffuse a bomb, not knowing which wire to cut.
There’s a part of you that feels bitter about Johnny, you two were together for so long, and he’s climbing that ladder of life faster than you. All the bragging that he’s done has seeped into you. In your more insecure moments, you think yourself jealous of him. It drives you mad, knowing how dead your relationship was by the time you pruned it, but all that time and effort lost on some mediocre shithead from your college years makes you feel like you’ve wasted your prime years. Johnny has an uncanny ability to suss out the parts of yourself that you’re least confident about and boast about his success in those areas.
When your floral business was just starting out, he made sure you knew how well he was doing with money. When he met Jenny, he paraded her around online and at social functions, telling anyone within earshot how he’s never loved anyone the way he loves her. He liked to go on and on about how he knew the very first time meeting her, he was going to marry her. They were just so compatible - mentally, emotionally, and physically. Every time you are hanging out at some brewery with your old friends and Johnny starts up, it takes all your effort not to scoff into your beer and roll your eyes. It’s not jealousy that you feel though, you just wish he would shut the fuck up about it sometimes.
When he had approached you to do the flowers for the wedding, he seemed surprised when you accepted.
“I promise, I’d love to do the florals for you and Jenny,” you said.
“Are you sure?” Johnny said, eyes full of pity. “Is the business doing okay? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to take on a project this big.”
“Business is booming, Johnny,” you gritted out. “I’ll even give you a nice discount, since we’re friends and all.”
“Okay, great!” he said. “Be prepared for Jenny though. She’s terrible at making decisions without my help.”
“I’ve worked with a lot of brides before, I know I can handle any changes she needs to make,” you reply coolly.
“Good to know,” he said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
You remember this exchange like it was yesterday. The way you had little half moons embedded in your palms from clenching your fists so hard comes to the forefront of the memory. There was something about how Johnny knew exactly what to say to get under your skin still made you angry.
Thinking back about this exchange while you soap up your body under the cold water of the shower, a little seed of conspiracy plants itself in your mind. Did Johnny encourage the massive switch up of aesthetics at the last minute? Jenny seemed so eager about the previous plan of classic, timeless flowers that the switch to bohemian felt really out of left field, especially so close to the wedding date. It was also a little rash and stupid of you to offer him such a huge discount. Minho and Chan were right, you had to make sure all your extra work was paid for properly.
The Felix problem was an entirely different can of worms. This crush you’ve been nursing for years now had fuel added to the fire, all because of a silly dream you had. Granted, it was an incredibly hot dream, you feel goosebumps raise on your skin, and not just from the frigid temperature of your shower. If anything, the icy water was keeping you grounded, not getting swept away by your desire again.
Were you ovulating or something? Why was this hitting you so hard, especially now? Nothing had changed between you and Felix, you just seemed to notice more. He’s been extraordinarily kind, really going out of his way to take care of you. It helps, since both of you work within the wedding industry, to have someone to confide in so closely. The last few months, you’ve seen him more often than not, like an extremely reliable dinner buddy. You realize Felix is a huge reason you haven’t felt as lonely in the past year.
His offer to be your plus one had you reeling. As you step out of the shower, you remember how he urged you to call him your boyfriend while you were here.
“It feels real when you can attach a label to it like that,” he had said. He was right. You knew, beyond a doubt, that your ex would take what you said more seriously if you had “evidence” that you were doing well. It was petty, immature, and not something you should entertain. . . but you wanted to feel an ounce of victory against your ex. You were going to that wedding to show up and show off. It didn’t hurt that you also secretly craved to indulge the fantasy of being with Felix like that, even if just for a night.
Toweling off your body, the dream-hazed feeling of his hands on your hips rocket through you again. It’s not that Felix wasn’t touchy, he was one of your more physically affectionate friends. But that was just the way he acted with everyone, always hugging, touching, soothing, you internally scolded yourself for getting swept away by his antics. There was something about Dream Felix’s hands that felt burned into your skin. Rubbing your face, you try and shake the image - you have shit to do, there’s a wedding you need to get ready for.
You pull your dress out of the garment bag, a pastel pink, slinky number, ruched in just the right way to accentuate the curve of your hips. The length is just modest enough to pass for a wedding, but stops right above your knee. You have your favorite pair of strappy, white fuck-me heels to go along with it. You make sure your lips look plumped, your eyes look sharp and bedroom-y, and your hair looks fashionably mussed and loosely pinned back. The goal is to look like you didn’t put in too much effort while still standing out from the crowd.
You’re futzing with an earring clasp when you hear a knock at the door. Felix stands in the doorway when you answer, whatever greeting he was about to say dying on his lips when he sees you. His jaw slackens as he stares, drinking you in. You’re in a similar position, enthralled by his appearance. His hair is half swept back, tendrils of his cool toned blonde trailing resting against his shoulders. His suit jacket is a pale blue offset by his light beige dress pants. His attention to detail is insane with his white shirt with small detailed flowers embroidered into it and a silver blue embroidered tie to match. The undertones of the suit complement his honey tanned skin so well. His freckles nearly glitter on his face. He looks good, as if he just walked off the runway. You’re not sure how much time passes as the two of you gawk at the other, before you shake yourself out of it.
“Lix! Come on in!” you nearly shout, unable to control the volume of your voice.
“Wow, Y/n…” he murmurs as he steps inside the hotel room. “You look…”
“It’s a bit much, I know,” you interrupt him. You don’t think you can handle whatever he was about to say, good or bad. “But I wanted to show off a little at the wedding.”
“That won’t be an issue at all, I promise,” he says as his gaze traces your form again. His eyes darken for a moment, lost in some sort of intense thought, before he snaps out of it. Looking up at you with a bright smile on his face, he does a little spin to show off his outfit. “Told you I clean up real good, didn’t I?”
“Understatement of the century,” you mutter, your skin flushing. You can’t help but trail your eyes up from his shoes to his face. “Oh! I have something for you!”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!” you walk over to the small fridge in your shared room. Inside is a plastic takeout container, slight condensation covering the inside. “Well, technically I have something for both of us.”
You pop open the container to reveal a corsage and a boutonniere, a combination of lilac, lavender and mint. Picking up the boutonniere, you beckon Felix over. “This goes on your suit and I have one that matches.”
“Ooh, matchy matchy!” he lilts.
You playfully smack his shoulder and laugh. “Yes, matchy matchy.”
He stands close to you, the toes of your shoes nearly touching, as you pin the flowers on to his lapel. You smooth your hand over the fabric of his jacket before looking up at him. He’s got that same adoring look in his eyes as he looks down at you. You feel yourself flush again, that cold shower’s calming effect has fully worn off now that you’re back in the warm glowing spotlight Felix seems to put on you. Bashfully, you look away and your eyes catch the clock on the bedside table.
“Oh! I need to get down to the dressing rooms with the wedding party’s flowers!”
You’re already power walking out of your room when you hear Felix trail behind you, “I’ll come help.”
You sneak into the bridal dressing room with a few boxes while the girls are still in pre-wedding prep. There’s a lot of movement all orbiting Jenny. When she sees you, she smiles and beckons you over. Felix hangs back, hovering by the entrance, not wanting to disturb the tittering over the bouquets.
The bridesmaids love the flowers, each getting their own mini version of Jenny’s big bouquet, slightly unique in arrangement and color. You also reveal the corsages that they’ll be able to wear at the reception, also matching the bohemian theme. The din of chatter rises again in the room. Jenny sees Felix at the door and waves, smiling at him like they were old friends. She catches your eye and winks.
The bridal drop off was simple. The groomsmen drop off fills you with dread. While walking the boxes of boutonnieres over to the men’s dressing room, you feel your stomach do a few flips. Felix gives you a reassuring smile and waits in the doorway yet again. As you enter, you hear the cheerful, familiar voices of Peter and Bobby calling you over.
“Y/n! We wondered where you were,” Bobby says.
“Yeah, holy shit,” Peter says. “It’s been ages. I’ve never seen you grace our presence in anything but sneakers!”
“Hey guys,” you grin at the boys. These two chucklefucks have been your friends since the first week of college when you found yourself in an ice breaker circle during orientation. They were the two who introduced you to Johnny incidentally during a chaotic game of Edward 40-hands. Johnny had helped you drag them back to their dorm when they were three sheets to the wind. “Lovely to see you two looking like you’ve showered for once.”
“Hey now, don’t go complimenting us too hard,” Peter smiles with a big wide gummy smile. “Whatcha got there?”
At that moment, Johnny appears, giving you a flat mouthed smile. He looks slicked back and shiny, his cheeks a little too pink to seem suave. He looks a little wary seeing you all dressed up. With your heels on, you are at eye level with him and you know that he isn’t a fan of that.
“I came to pin on your flowers so you all match for the ceremony.”
You start pinning on the little bundles of flowers one by one. Johnny is last in the rotation, his boutonniere a little more complex than the groomsmen. You both stand in awkward silence for a moment, safety pin stuck between your teeth, as you maneuver the wrapping of his flowers.
“So…who’s the blonde?”
“Hmm?”
“Who’s the blonde dude hovering at the door?”
You turn your head, and make direct eye contact with Felix. He’s got a cool smile plastered on his face that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. The way the afternoon sun is hitting him makes him radiate though. Somehow he seems to bring his own sparkle with him everywhere he goes, like he can’t help but capture the attention of everyone surrounding him. You watch as he presses his tongue against the side of cheek as he looks at the two of you across the room.
“That’s Felix. He’s my…boyfriend,” the word feels strange in your mouth.
You see the muscle in Johnny’s jaw twitch as he mulls that over. “I thought you were bringing your sister.”
“Nope, you just assumed I was bringing her,” you say, your voice clipped. “Remember? You thought I was having trouble in the ‘dating department’?”
“How long have you been seeing each other?”
“A few months now.”
“Hmm,” he grunts out, eyes still on Felix. “Isn’t he kind of… too pretty for you?”
“Excuse me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“I mean, isn’t he a little…” Johnny raises his hand to make a limp wrist gesture.
“I don’t like what you’re implying, Johnny.”
“Oh, don’t get all offended on me. You know what I mean! He looks like a fairy,” Johnny whispers, too loudly. Everyone in the room goes quiet.
“Why are you being so fucking rude?” you feel the heat of anger roll through you, color rising in your cheeks.
“I’m not, I’m just surprised you’re into guys like that,” he sniffs, looking away. “Are you sure he’s into you?”
“Fuck you,” your voice bites out, adrenaline pumping through you.
Bobby comes up and claps Johnny a little too hard on the shoulder, forcing out a laugh. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying! He’s probably just hungover from the stag last night. You know how alcohol turns him into a little bitch.”
“Yeah,” Johnny mumbles. “Sorry.”
“Whatever,” you say, turning on your heel. “See you out there.”
You stomp over to the door where Felix is standing. As you approach, he holds out his hand for you to take. Unshed tears burn in your eyes, but you’re too mad to cry. Felix walks one step ahead of you, pulling you gently to a secluded corner near the lobby.
“Y/n, you okay?” he leans down, concern painting his features. You’re breathing hard, trying to calm yourself down but it feels like there’s a swarm of bees under your ribs.
“Breathe.” Felix says as he pulls you into his arms. He hugs you tight and takes some deep breaths in a slow, soothing pattern. You don’t realize you’re shaking with anger until you’re pressed up against his chest, but you begin to relax in his embrace. He pulls back a bit when he feels your forehead slump onto his shoulder, giving you a reassuring pat on the back.
“What he said doesn’t matter, I promise,” Felix says, his deep voice rumbling through you, close to your ear. “It’s hard to insult someone when you’re calling them pretty.”
You chuckle, looking up at him. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
“Ehh, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he says. “He was insane to think that I wouldn’t be into you.”
“Yeah, my fake boyfriend has to be into me,” you chuckle. You feel much calmer now. “It’s like, the main reason you’re here.”
Felix gives you an inquisitive look, like the combination of a frown and smile, before shaking his head. “Yeah sure, fake boyfriend.”
You take one last deep breath to ground yourself.
“Alright, let’s go find our seats.”
~
You’re no stranger to weddings. The families and friends shuffle in, light piano music playing in the background while everyone decides whether they want to sit on the bride or groom’s side. You hear a few hushed conversations about how lovely the florals are and secretly beam with pride.
Felix drags you to a pair of seats on the bride’s side in the back row. He’s sitting close to the aisle side, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close to his side. The small circles he’s rubbing into your shoulder are meant to be soothing, but you feel some of that ache blooming in your chest again. This is what it would feel like to really be with him.
Johnny files in, taking his places in front of the round floral arch you put together. You avoid Johnny’s eyes at all costs, not wanting to scowl the entire ceremony. Jenny doesn’t deserve that. Felix, on the other hand, can’t seem to keep his eyes off Johnny. If looks could kill, Jenny would be a widow before she even got married.
The swell of the wedding music starts up as the bridesmaids line up. Everyone stands, Felix taking your hand in his once again. You watch as a few of the bridesmaids do a double take at him, raking over his outfit briefly. One of them fully gawks at him for a moment before she remembers where she is. Your eyes are focused on the flowers, watching how they compliment the outfits and how they blend with the rest of the styling.
The piano switches to a slower version of “Here Comes the Bride,” which feels strangely traditional with all the bohemian decor. Nonetheless, Jenny, arm in arm with her father, slowly marches down the aisle. Her gown is soft and flowy, her hair long, her veil made in the style of macrame. It matches perfectly with the bouquet you created for her, you beam with pride. You find yourself smiling and leaning into Felix’s shoulder. He turns to you, fully looking away from the bride, looking at you with a soft expression. Your focus is on the bouquet as Jenny steps up to the front. The ceremony begins when the officiant gestures for everyone to be seated.
Felix grasps your hand, lacing your fingers together, as you sit. He runs his thumb over your knuckles tenderly as he watches. Your other hand finds his bicep as you lean into him. He grins and subtly flexes for you. While Felix is focused on the couple at the front, his hand slips out of yours gently. For a moment, you’re filled with disappointment, until he shifts to grab your leg, fingers dancing along your knee. The room fades into the background, now all you care about is the way his fingers feel against your skin.
The voice of the officiant drones on. Felix’s eyes still firmly face forward as he caresses down your thigh, the hem of your dress riding up an inch or two under his grasp. You look down, watching in awe at the light ministrations, the pads of his fingers tracing little heart patterns on the inside of your knee. The sensation makes your heart flutter and the sensitive skin under Felix’s hand buzzes in anticipation.
You glance up at him to find his eyes still trained on the exchanging of vows. He looks stoic, almost as if the way he’s touching you is a mindless activity. Maybe it is, maybe you’re getting carried away, awash in the building arousal. You try to remind yourself that this is fake, he’s doing this to help you put on a show for others, to rub it in Johnny’s face a little. Felix is a master at the act if he’s able to get you to believe, even if just for a second, that he returns your feelings. Your heart sinks as you think of your own little delusion that he could feel the same about you.
He looks down at you then, head leaned into his shoulder, both hands grasping at his arm. Whatever look you give him must spur him on, this time he lightly drags his nails up your inner thigh. You gasp at the sensation, arousal pooling in your belly. Your knees lurch closed, trapping his hand between your thighs. He smiles at you again, this time flashing his teeth, the tip of his tongue tapping at the point of one of his canines. Your legs shudder slightly and you whine, so low only he can hear it. He delicately slides his hand out from between your thighs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders again.
The noise of the room kicks up again, everyone clapping while “The Wedding March” plays on the piano. You stand on shaky legs next to Felix. As Johnny and Jenny come down the aisle, Felix pulls you to him and presses a kiss to your temple, making direct eye contact with your ex. Your eyes flutter at the possessive kiss, realizing that you hadn’t imagined Felix’s lips in the same spot the other night as you drifted off. As your mind spins, you miss the way Johnny sneers at Felix, disdain dripping in his gaze.
As the rest of the wedding guests file out of the room behind the couple, Felix grabs your hand and drags you out, trailing behind everyone. Heading towards the reception, he brings your hand to his mouth, giving it a quick peck. He looks at you, his eyes glinting with mirth, as he says, “Come on, let’s go try the cake.”
~
taglist: @binniesbabe @jeonginsleftcheek @ivydoesit23 @stayatinykatsy @mong---mong @palindrome969 @dottydarling @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic
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Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy feat: Floyd genre: humor, budding romance note: set in the same universe as previous works (Azul’s and Jade’s ver specifically), no pronouns were used, villain/ess!reader is not a merfolk, 1.6k word count, use of non-canon family name (I’ve officially adopted you),
My wifi is on the fritz again so going online hasn’t been easy but hopefully I can get it working again soon. I’ve been hiding in cafes but my wallet isn’t appreciative because I don’t like going into a cafe and not order anything T_T. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy our number 1 crazy eel boi
Series masterlist
You’re contemplating your life choices as you wonder what on Earth you did to deserve this. You can’t remember what happened that brought you into this world you once thought fictional but you were aware of how you’re probably gonna leave this world if the story stays in its original path.
You were a nameless mob character who was caught in the crossfire of your imbecile brother. During a party, your brother started bragging about your father who was a famous knight and started a knight training program after being given the title of baron, which grabbed the attention of the dangerous son of a marquis family, the Floyd Leech. Since then, the merman would suddenly visit your home to curiously watch the training while your brother continues to brag and even starts talking about how close he is to the notorious Leech family son who, while not the heir, was in line to inherit a great bit of land and some “business assets” from his father.
Your younger brother didn’t think that associating yourself with a family of suspicious background was too bad…until a rival of the Leech family invaded their home and proceeded to interrogate your family for information on the Leech household. Obviously knowing nothing, the rival family ended you and your mother’s future in anger. Your father, heartbroken and weakened by the lost of his beloved and one of his children, collapsed and became bedridden.
Still, you couldn’t hate your brother no matter how foolish he was, especially when he begged Floyd in tears to avenge his family, only to be ignored by the eel merman. “How is it my problem?” He cruelly said as he dismissed your brother to deal with his broken family.
You grew cautious, wary of people associated with the Leech household and any other noblemen that aligned themselves with them, which included the Golden Count Ashengrotto with his new partner, and that family that recently arranged an engagement with the Leech family heir with their only child.
You also taught your younger brother to learn when to hold his tongue, your family’s business is your own and avoid excessively bragging to others as it lures unpleasant leeches (he thought you meant metaphorically).
Then you explicitly told him not to interact with anyone from the Leech family, especially Floyd. You were willing to smack him over the head to get that warning across, telling him, “To him, we’re just toys. Not friends”
This was a clear solution, just don’t meet Floyd…or Jade…and have anything to do with that crazy eel family and your future is secured. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
Then one day, at a party…
The night was going well. Your younger brother found a clique of his own to interact with so you didn’t have to worry about catching the attention of a certain someone. Although, while you saw Jade mingling with the crowd, you haven’t seen even the shadow of the other Leech which worries you somewhat. However, you chose to let your guard down to enjoy the ambiance of the party. You deserve to have some fun too.
Some time has passed and soon you felt your body growing tired of all the socialising. You wandered around alone to find a secluded room to rest while contemplating whether you should call it a night. Typically you stay behind until your brother was ready to leave together as to keep a watchful eye over him. But since he’s been on his best behaviour, you wondered if you’re really needed. But then, voices then disrupted your train of thought as you heard someone speaking from the other side of the closed doors of the room you were occupying.
“If you need some time to rest, Sir Leech. I suggest one of these rooms my master has prepared” someone whom you assumed to be a servant spoke but that’s not what concerned you. Did he say Leech?!
A mental battle was going in your head as you assess your situation. Which Leech was it? (Does that matter?) Should you stay? (No!) How would you get out?? (!!)
You looked around in panic as you prayed for maybe a door to a conjoining room, maybe a bathroom to hide in until he leaves. You then looked to the balcony and without a second thought, pulled the doors open. You were on the second floor which wasn’t too bad. The balcony faced the back of the house towards the back garden which meant no one should be there to witness you climbing down. You’ve seen enough parkour videos that you figured you could come of this unscathed.
But the logical part of your brain is pulling you back, telling you that this absolutely reckless, stupid really. You can imagine your dumb brother doing this but your parents urge you to be the level-headed one of the two of you (which you like to argue on, why do you have to be the responsible one?).
But before your senses could come to you, you heard the knobs of the room door shaking, and you decided that you only live once.
So jumping, it is.
Without looking down (in fear of your nerves winning), you leapt off the railings of the balcony and braced for impact. Your clothes flutter loudly in the air as you try to push the fabric from your eyes to watch your landing. But instead of the marbled flooring, you were met with a pair of surprised heterocromatic eyes.
Floyd was sighing in irritation as schools of bottom feeders noblemen rushed over to him and his brother (mainly his brother) in hopes to find themselves in good graces with the Leech household. Jade may have a better facade going but Floyd was having a harder time not to snarl and squeeze the living souls out of these suck ups. In this pompous tank, no one was worth his attention. So, Floyd figured he could kill some time away from the mindless minnows and walk towards the backyard of the mansion, maybe chill out in a tree until his brother finds him.
In no imagination he had thought of for today did he expect to see something - or someone - flying down towards him in a mass of fabric fluttering in the wind. With quick reflexes, the ocean-haired man raised his arms and swiftly caught your waist through the mess of your clothing but momentum still won against the two of you as Floyd fell backwards with you, crashing onto the ground rather unceremoniously. His anger building quickly, Floyd raised his head about to take a good look at the crazy human he’s about to squeeze. But like how quickly his anger started, it immediately extinguished when he did take a good look at you.
He saw you, a flushing mess slightly shaking from your reckless decision to literally take a plunge off the second floor. Your hair in a disarray from the wind and likely the landing as well. And your eyes that Floyd found himself watching in intrigue as a swirling range of emotion was evident in your expressive face. Most visually present was your look of fearful realization.
Floyd Leech. Out of the billions of people you could ever meet, you ended up bumping…ah no crashing into the most unpredictably violent man in this world. Granted, you’re glad you survived your frankly dumb behavior but to be saved by the man that would be your future downfall was just proof that the world was messing with you for sh*ts and giggles.
“Hey you” you let out a small shriek as you hear Floyd call out to you slowly, reminding you of a shark slowly swimming its way to you for a meal, though really what difference is there? “What’s your nam-“
In an act of reckless desperation (your second one already), you didn’t let Floyd finish his question as you rolled over to the side, twisting your body out from the merman’s grip. Disregarding your absolute messy appearance, you sprinted your way away from Floyd who was still on the ground, rounding the corner of the manor to dash towards your carriage. You’ll tell a servant to inform your brother of your early departure later. You just needed to disappear from the menace’s sight immediately.
Though there was no real hurry as the menace in question chose not to pursue as he preferred to watch you flee in such a cute manner, entertained by the way you sped off like a prey in chase.
“Floyd, are you alright?” a familiar voice called out to him from above to which he then recognised and looked up to see his brother on the second floor balcony, the same general area you appeared from, immediately understanding where you came from.
Huh, you just got more interesting.
Floyd ignored his brother’s concern and asked a question back, “Hey Jade, you got any idea who that flying fishie was?”
The Marquis heir, who noticed the opened balcony doors, managed to glimpse upon the fascinating human who not only took a chance at jumping off the second floor, but also managed to intrigue his brother enough to escape his grasp…for now.
“I cannot be certain but I believe that was the first born of the Linni family. The youngest child is still here if you would like a chat with him” Jade oh so generously offered his knowledge to his brother, knowing full well that Floyd has started itching to sink into something fun. And what kind of brother would he be to interfere in his brother’s joy?
Floyd grinned, his sharp teeth visually showing. He got back onto his feet and with one more look towards the path you fled to, walked the other way, back into the manor and towards the party area where he was giddy to have a chat with your brother. You can flee for now, Floyd loves a worthwhile chase.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst imagines#disney twisted wonderland#twst scenarios#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#twst floyd#floyd x reader#floyd leech#villainess au
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Gaming Headcanons (Call of Duty)
A/n: This is not canon at all and I thought it would be fun to think about what kind of games and gamer the CoD men would be
Price:
Price does not have a lot of gaming experience but he likes to be included in game nights
He's the one who rages the most when he is playing games (but it's mostly when he is playing multiplayer games)
Price prefers board games rather than digital ones (likes the atmosphere that is created when gathering around the table with close friends to sit down and have some fun it)
Don't ever ask him to play poker because he can and will kick your ass (unless you are a poker legend or you manage to cheat without him noticing)
He has his own personal chess board to play with (it's a nice quality wooden one that's not too big so that he can bring it with him to pass time when he doesn't have access to the internet)
Gaz:
A true master of gaming, like there's no game out there that this man won't be good at
Also kind of a sore loser when someone finally manages to beat him, Gaz kind of lets out this big sigh and crosses his arms over his chest while looking off into the corner but he doesn't stay this way for long, it more of a 'in the moment' situation (Gaz is more frustrated that he wasn't good enough to win this round but knows there will be other chances)
Gaz equally enjoys playing digital games as much as he does when he plays a board game (his favorite board game to play is monopoly, since he can get very strategic while he plays and is very easily annoyed when he's sitting in monopoly jail)
Soap:
Johnny is the person who tries to tell stories over the mic only to realize that he's been on mute for the past ten minutes (the rest of the group was wondering why he was so quiet all of the sudden)
He also has a Nintendo switch ( He has a Nintendo lite in the color blue) but he loves playing Mario Kart or any of the Mario Parties and loves it when you get frustrated when he steals first place or star from you (he gives his famous laugh and pecks your cheek while telling you how much he loves you while committing the vile act)
Trolls/griefs a ton. He thinks it's funny when other players scream curse words at him and never misses an opportunity to provoke them even further. (he laughs his ass off when they rage quit or if he has to read their attempt to argue back at him in the game chat)
He actually likes spending multiple hours on a game. Grinding to get the best stuff just so he can brag about it the next day.
Soap also does occasionally broadcast his game play with others (because he likes to look back on the memories when he feeling alone or that he just needs something to cheer his mood up a little)
Ghost:
Ghost is the type of person who would say they only play multiplayer games but likes to secretly play the cozy single player games like animal crossing and Stardew Valley (he rant to you about how unfair Isabella is when rating his island a mere 3 stars or how he often forgets to go back to his house before 2 am because he was too focused on the monsters and loot in the mines.)
Even though he doesn’t mind online multiplayer games to play with the rest of squad 141, he also doesn’t mind to play co-op games with you (his favorites to play are it takes two or playing some version of call of duty zombies on a split screen, he takes pride in protecting you in co-op games or he shyly admits a thank you when you revive him)
He just likes strategic games in general, you will find him often playing chess with Price ( when you watch them play, they always take the longest time possible to make their move, it seems like they both go through every possible move until they find the best position to move forward but the game is always interrupted by something that needs one or the other’s attention)
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mw3#cod mw ghost#john price#captain john price#captain price#cod gaz#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#cod soap#john soap mactavish#john mactavish#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod headcanons#video games
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How would they react to a gentle, calm reader who becomes a bit possessive in the heat of the moment? [obey me & genshin]
Part 2
[Don't ask me how I got here and how I got these kinds of online friends that ask me this. I just do]
Note: When I said the heat of the moment, I meant innocently. Not... you know 🤭
Characters: Obey me brothers, Kaeya, Yae Miko, Venti, Ayato, Zhongli, Ganyu, Pantalone, Alhaitham, Albedo, Dottore, Cyno, Xiao
You can request more characters if you like this
Kaeya, Yae Miko, and Asmodeus would be first surprised but then amused. "My, my~ am I yours now?~ Well, I quite don't mind being yours ♥︎" they are so gonna tease you. Maybe brag about it. Who knows. Everyone was questioning that they've had strangely been in a good mood. They would 10/10 use this opportunity to tease and flirt with you. Venti would 10/10 brag about it too and join the fun. Same with Ayato, even if he loves your gentle, caring, and calm personality. He definitely likes this side....he wonders what about— (I ain't writing that. Let your imagination go wild)
Lucifer and Zhongli would be very surprised but would smirk at your words/actions. Lucifer would probably scold you a bit because of it, but he honestly doesn't mind, no, he loves it when you do. Just his pride doesn't make him admit it. Oh, how they love the face you made when you became a little annoyed at the person he was talking to. Zhongli would seem to have his mind on something else while drinking some tea. Some people would see him smiling. Maybe he was thinking of how you made him go closer to you when the person seems to be getting closer to him? Pantalone. Suddenly, the payment would get higher. I wonder why...(Look in the dottore one.)
Alhaitham and Albedo would probably observe. They would test what is the limit until you get jealous and perhaps get a little possessive. Maybe they want to see you in action.
Dottore would think it's absurd to waste his time observing this new reaction. It's just emotion. It's not like he is experimenting on his love you and love watching your reaction. He would never....why was he and Pantalone working together, and Pantalone was paying spies to see reactions or even new ones of you and people who make these reactions from you? Aurgh, now you had an effect on him! This would interfere with his experimenting. You must take responsibility. Now...won't you let him do what he wishes? You are gonna take responsibility, won't you?
Mammon and xiao would be so flustered though. Mammon would stutter every time he thinks about that moment whenever you are near him. He gets distracted easily. Xiao would probably could never see you in a week unless you call his name. If it wasn't an emergency, he would pout frown. He could never look into your eyes for months. Or he'll be blushing. They both hoped that you didn't see the tip of their ears go red. How flustered. "You have no respect for the adepti!"
Levi would be so baffled. 'H- hUuUUuH?! Is [name] getting jealous for a yucky Otaku like me?!!' He would probably stay in his room for days, and if he do invite you in, he'll probably rest his head on your shoulders. Just don't turn your head to see him blushing so hard. If he encounters someone or something he doesn't like, then he will definitely hide behind you. Even if you're short, because short people are scary....especially with the slipper—
Ganyu would protect you if in any cases goes wrong, but she would probably be blushing and stuttering for a few days. It does make her feel some sort of protection, although if you are too tense, she'll probably be embarrassed but uses her adorable tatic you love to do. Lay on her lap or let her lay on your lap as you soothe her to sleep.
Satan and Cyno. Yeah, I know. Other genshin characters are scary, but Ima just Cyno as an example. They would be a little surprised but not that much since everyone, even the most gentle, calm, and caring person, can have some moments like these, but still surprised. They would probably encourage you, because. They believe if you're theirs, then they are yours. And because they like this side of you. Satan would probably guide you to a nearby cat café if the atmosphere is too tense. Cyno would probably crack up some jokes. Classic. They both would probably glare at the person, well, unless someone they hold dear. But if it's a stranger or person they don't, they will. Don't forget, even if Cyno is a person who has jokes up his sleeves like Ayato getting his Boba from his sleeve. He is still the General Mahamantra, so he does look scary for his height. (As I told you in Levi's, short people are scary!! Don't tell any shorties though. Don't wanna get my life hunted 😨)
Beel and belphie. Honestly, they both don't really care that much. Well, Beel does feel flattered and probably smiles by your actions, but! He's just hungry and loves your cooking. Although he'll probably hold your hand and shyly say thank you for making that flirty person go away. Belphie just wants some sleep, but thanks to the surprise, he can't. Now, you need to hold him tightly in your arms. "Don't. You. Dare. Let. Go....please?" (He'll ask politely)
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#obey me x reader#obey me brothers x reader#kaeya x reader#yae miko x reader#venti x reader#ayato x reader#zhongli x reader#pantalone x reader#alhaitham x reader#albedo x reader#dottore x reader#cyno x reader#xiao x reader#ganyu x reader#various x reader#various characters#genshin fanfic#obey me fanfic#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#levi x reader#asmodeus x reader#satan x reader#beelzebub x reader#belphie x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#obey me x you
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2024 Era Masterlist
After the birthday stream (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey
Summary: The events that may have occured after Dan's birthday charity stream;) Starts of with fluff but ends up in a steamy hot shower
another day (ao3) - wearealldoomed
Summary: “It’s another day in the forever house. It’s been a day since uploading ‘We’re All Doomed’ to the channel that started it all. Dan Howell gets to live another day.”
Backyard Bliss (ao3) - milfbilvy
Summary: Dan and Phil spend some time in the backyard of the phouse, enjoying some quality time together under the shade of their beloved cherry tree.
bragging rights (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru
Summary: A hot doctor sits down next to Phil as he’s coming off anesthesia.
from emo to angel(ao3) - starlightphil (adreaminthedark)
Summary: “Oh my god you did it. Crisis twink era.” “Isn’t it my crisis twunk era at this point? You did a whole thing where you claimed I went through twink death, remember?”
Phil surprises Dan with a new hair color.
look how (the stars) shine for you (ao3) - howell_slide
Summary: Two boys looking at the night sky together, 14 years apart.
Lost In Thought (ao3) - microwaveoven
Summary: Based on that one part in pizza mukbang 2 where DNP talk about why the hiatus started and how Phil felt lost for a while
northern lights (ao3) - possumdnp
Summary: Dan and Phil watch the northern lights together.
oh, baby, seasons change (ao3) - antiadvil
Summary: anon prompt: dnp sharing a bed in 2010 x them sharing a bed now :3
there is bedsharing in this fic, but more of the fic is spent discussing dan's laundry than spent in bed
[orange heart emoji] (ao3) - natigail
Summary: WE'RE ALL DOOMED finds its home on YouTube and Dan breaks the whole phandom with one single emoji. It's okay. If Phil can be earnest, then so can Dan.
Phlonde (ao3) - greyskysss
Summary: Phil gets his hair dyed. Thats the fic
phlondes do it better (ao3) - wearealldoomed
Summary: The day has come around quicker than Phil had anticipated.
The day where Phil dips his toes back into the waters of dyeing his hair after months of letting his natural hair colour grow back through.
The day where Phil goes platinum blonde without confronting Dan about it first.
phlondes have more fun (ao3) - howell_slide
Summary: The morning after the Phlondening of 2024.
rat and relaxation time (ao3) - possumdnp
Summary: Dan and Phil wake up on the first day of their holiday.
routine (ao3) - qrovers
Summary: The scene is as follows: The dining room is empty except for Dan, who sits in front of his computer about to upload We’re All Doomed. There is the lingering smell of fries and dips. Dan is in his pajamas, the Minecraft ones Phil always manages to hog. By the side of his desk, a full cup of cocoa has since lost its steam. It’s also from Phil. “To relax you,” he said.
Dan knows he just made two by accident.
slumber party (ao3) - possumdnp
Summary: Dan never has been able to resist Phil’s spontaneous ideas, like having a slumber party in their lounge after filming a gaming video. Especially since it means getting to appreciate Phil in those red silk pyjamas.
(Set right after filming the DAPG video, “Getting Deep at the Slumber Party.")
Stir Fry (ao3) - ottertrashpalace
Summary: Dan never cooks unless he's feeling guilty. Phil waits.
two wolves (ao3) - possumdnp
Summary: They're in the middle of a meeting, and Phil seems to be trying to tell him something. But what?
(or, Dan accidentally wears a certain novelty wolf t-shirt to an online meeting with their tour team.)
We’re All Gay (ao3) - howell_slide
Summary: On some fuckass Tuesday in April 2024, Dan Howell dropped “gay” on the phandom.
you and me (that's all we need it to be) (ao3) - bunnyslipper
Summary: 🧡
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modern west wing social media hcs
i feel like charlie would have the most normal social media acct and following, like maybe an instagram where he posts pictures of himself (mostly for family), and like a twitter where he occasionally retweets his friends or bartlet. he likes making fun of other people (especially senior staff) for being too stuck to their devices, and a large online presence would take away that ability
CJ’s twitter is less incendiary than she’d like, since she’s the face of the bartlet administration, and so a lot of it is discussing policy or clarifying briefings. she does retweet a lot of good edu sites or interesting articles she finds. she herself trends a lot, she’s pretty famous online as a political icon ala AOC or bernie sanders, and she gets a lot of edits made online from press conferences (which she enjoys bragging abt to the other staff, while making fun of them for being out-of-touch). CJ also has a private instagram that hogan had her make, but she only posts extremely blurry pictures of coffee and her goldfish with captions like “hogan said to post to remind people that im alive”. toby always replies with “sending the pictures to MOMA. breathtaking” and danny replies with “breaking news. press secretary reveals she is still alive. more at 7”.
leo does not have social media because he still has a flip phone and a brick laptop. he says he prefers hearing bad news out loud or reading it on physical paper, but really, he just can’t figure out how to work it. im talking types “google” into google, then types “hello find me a map of the united states of america” in the search bar. margaret tried to help but seeing him type google into google physically pained her
josh is banned from twitter (after he pissed off three midwestern states, basket weavers, and most hollywood producers in the first week in office). cj regularly checks to make sure he hasn’t made a new account. he has a public instagram, but cj looks over captions before he posts (he once tried to ask the president for permission to get a new account but the president sided with cj). most of his posts are about encouraging people to vote or be more politically active. he is also not allowed to reply to comments on the instagram, so he reads them out loud in a mocking voice to donna. unbeknownst to him, there is a white house deputy chief of staff twitter page run by donna (with cj’s permission) that discusses white house initiatives and shares fun anecdotes abt day to day work. anytime someone tells josh they love his twitter account he assumes they mean instagram, and nobody tells him until bartlet is two years out of office
donna, like charlie, has an instagram mostly for her family back home, but also has a twitter where she talks about tv shows she likes and her hobbies, that has a decent following. she might have a tumblr but again it would be abt tv shows and hobbies she has
toby is on goodreads and instagram (but only to leave sarcastic comments on his friends’ posts). he hates twitter’s word count limit and how it’s owned by elon musk, and rants abt it often. he leaves lengthy reviews on any political commentary article in the comments section. this has been brought up in the briefing room, to the point where cj has a recording of herself saying “toby ziegler’s online rants are not indicative of president bartlet’s views. if you have any questions please direct them to ziegler himself”
president bartlet has facebook </3. there’s a white house twitter page run by an intern, but he’s not involved with that. he posts fun facts about national parks or ancient latin novels, but each fact starts with something like “joshua lyman, 🧍♂️deputy chief of staff, 🇺🇸doesn’t understand the true beauty of yellowstone national park 🙄🏞🏜🤦♂️”. most people think it’s a parody account and cj doesn’t want to correct them
abbey does not have facebook, despite her husbands insistence that it’s better than twitter. on the rare occasions she uses her account it’s mostly to discuss important medical breakthroughs and her daughter’s work
sam has a really popular instagram, where he posts selfies and pretty pictures of the white house and captions like “having a great day at work today!” or “white house at sunset.. gorgeous”. he posts on his story a lot, and comes off as very relatable to the public. he’s cj’s dream social media user
will bailey runs campaign social medias pretty well but his own twitter account is mostly for promoting the campaigns. occasionally he retweets stuff his friends post, or tweets out funny jokes he hears.
margaret is tumblr famous, but never posts abt her job. her posts regularly wind up on other sites. she hasn’t told anybody and doesn’t plan to
#the west wing#west wing#tww#cj cregg#charlie young#josh lyman#sam seaborn#toby ziegler#margaret hooper#jed bartlet#abbey bartlet#social media au#donna moss#will bailey#leo mcgarry
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Been thinking about what it would be like if the reader found out about Dimitri’s true life as a mob boss and forever hates him for it.
They’re terrified of Xavier falling into a life of lawlessness trying everything they can to prevent him from a life of crime. Reader spends most of their day trying just some how to bring Dimitri to justice and to held accountable for his crimes. They also feel an immense amount of guilt since their basically living off of blood money now.
And Dimitri would probably just find their rage adorable.
Yesss 100000% reader is actively trying to make Dimitri get caught and brought to law because 1. That's the right thing to do as a good citizen 2. She doesn't want Xavier to grow up in the underworld and take over the throne when his father is gone. 3. She hates Dimitri, that bitch stalked her and drained her accounts and trapped her in so many ways, fuck him.
And yeah she feels guilty living off his blood money, as she so told him when she said she's going out to get a job!!! And Dimitri is just looking at you with amused eyes as you brag about how you're going to make an honest living with clean money that you'll earn from your new job as a Baker at the local bakery, and he's just going "aww, I'm so proud of you babe!🥰🥰🥰" not mentioning that he's the one who had a local bakery made near the house and had surveillance cameras installed, his own men working there (as both employees and customers and they better guge you a Good tip) and had them hire you so that not only can you come home early but also so that he can keep an eye on you while you have this false sense of freedom and independence.
And reader is always going "no, I will buy my own clothes!" And she's like obviously going to thrift because she wants to use her own money to get Dimitri caught by the cops, but oh will you look at that? All thrift stores are suddenly empty and oh will you also look at that?! The luxury brands are having the biggest SALE of history!!!
As far as gift going goes, that's something Dimitri does not compromise on. He's buying you as many gifts as he wants, and obviously, you'd just discard them to the side and never use them. So, Dimitri is clever and will use his son like- "oh honey, will you look at that? Xavier got you a gift! Yeah, yeah, he picked it out himself and used his OWN pocket money to buy it (and at this point, everyone knows the 5 year oldest pocket money is a black card with no limit). Won't you be nice and wear it? You're not going to break a child's heart by not using his gift, will you?"
Reader is just huffing and puffing in her room as each of her plan gets foiled somehow because Dimitri keeps on finding loopholes. And Dimitri is just beaming as he watches you from the cameras, licking his spoon clean as he finishes another one of the pastries you'd made (he buys the entire shop everyday, usually by ordering online anonymously or by making his men buy them for him) because God forbid if you'd ever make something for him.
He bets you'd taste sweeter than any of these desserts.
He smirks as he gets up and leaves his office to go to your room.
He can always find out😈
#yandere Dimitri#yandere oc#yandere ocs#dimitri x reader#yandere male#yandere x reader#yandere x#yandere x you
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on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?
So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.
I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.
Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?
Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.
You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.
Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.
(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)
I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.
In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.
Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)
So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.
When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.
...
Can I?
...
Yeah, no. Definitely not.
See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.
I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.
I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?
Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.
So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)
But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.
Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.
#ramblings#personal#writing#i doubt anyone would bother reading this from start to finish but i needed somewhere to just Say Things and Let It Out
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Am I the asshole? I had a friend I met last year online, things were fine at first, we got along well and talked but overtime this person, I'll call them C, became very distant and arrogant. It started with them ghosting me for WEEKS because they didn't like something I said once in defense/support of asexual people. They got annoyed that I said they suffer greatly and they pulled an oppression olympics reply on that. Something once they spoke again to me, I right away cleared up for them and explained I wasn't being rude, I was just saying aces suffer too and need support and a place in the community.
Then after this they got annoyed that I was messaging them too much. I was simply trying to be a good friends, but I listened and cut back to respect their boundary. C next to never talked to me unless they needed something, used me for helping ease their mental illness issues and used me for advice and reassurance seeking and venting, that's it. I got tired of it. It was one sided so I backed off, ended up leaving social media for a bit. My wife however has a page still and I checked up on this person a while back, turns out some bad stuff happened in their life so I sent a long DM to them checking on them, being polite and offering help, I explained I was using my wife's page since I didn't have one so they knew who I was, but I still cared and wanted to help them if they needed any.
Anyway. Never got a reply. Weeks went on then I ended up blocked after them ignoring me once again. I contacted C on another site and called them out. I was pissed but still remained civil, I said how I didn't appreciate how they treated me when I had been nothing but respectful and caring to them that's what I get in return? C played the victim, put the blame on me, said they didn't like how I worded something in my dm checking on them and blocked me for it (rather than replying and saying what I did wrong...), lied and said I should have contacted them in a better way (the way I contacted them first was the "better way" they described! I got told I didn't even do what I DID do!) So I point this out, I said how their behavior said a lot about them as a person then all hell breaks lose. They start getting pissed and throwing insults at my character (I called them a hypocrite because when I said this said a lot about THEIR character it was bad, but when they do the same back to me, it was fine?) when I did nothing but say this was childish and said it said a lot about them that theyd block me rather than telling me what I did wrong to bother him. I am very accountable and would have listened and corrected my mistake, one my wife says I never even made as she saw all these messages.
I am now seeing them post lies (Checked on my brothers account to see) saying I attacked them, insulted their amazing character (this is the type of person that brags nonstop about being so nice and empathic and loving..) At this point I sent a dm on this other site, I apologize that my original contacted messages I sent AFTER being blocked that first time, were frustrated and came off badly (My wife disagrees, she says I was nothing but civil!) But I apologized then explained my side of it and how it felt to me, explained how his behavior was childish because of his "block" and refuse to communicate then play the victim. I got no reply.
Ended up blocked again and I gave up after that. He is also now saying the friendship was toxic when it was only ever toxic for me since they basically used me. All I wanted was just to be told what I did wrong, if they didn't want to reply or talk to me, that would have been fine, I'd of just appreciated being told it than blocked then made to feel like the bad guy when I point out how childish this behavior was on another site and how it said a lot about them that theyd do this then play a victim when all I was trying to do was be a good friend despite the shit they put me through.
What are these acronyms?
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a love that burns brightly
pairing: non-idol!s.coups x gn!reader
genre: fluff. domestic fic. established relationship.
word count: 1.0k~
warnings: reader has a side business selling candles. mentions of hot wax (being melted).
daisy's notes: me as i restrain myself from writing husband!cheol again bc i feel like im too predictable-
If there was one thing you could say about your boyfriend, it was that he probably advertised your side business more than you did.
Candle-making had started as something you did kind-of for fun. Sure, you sold your candles from the very beginning, but it was more-so because you needed some way of recouping the money you sunk into it. And, sure, it was only a side business that took up… a lot more time than you liked admitting. But that was what your days off were for: dedicating as much time as you needed to make your candles and restock the online store. This time of year was always your busiest for a reason (Holiday scents! Sales! Clear your inventory so you can start fresh in the new year!), and that meant Seungcheol stayed over at your apartment a lot more… especially when he came in with a list.
He’d been reading it off to you as you moved about your kitchen (your center of operations, so to speak), “Jeonghan said he loved the cinnamon candle you gave him. Joshua liked the pine one, and I thought we could maybe throw in an extra? I’ll pay for it. And Jun…”
All of this was what he’d pulled together over the past week. You’d told Seungcheol that if he wanted to sell to his coworkers that it’d be fine (considering how often he bragged about your work), but yesterday was the deadline for any orders. Of course… You didn’t expect him to manage to get every single person he was close to to buy at least one. Even that Vernon guy, who apparently bought three—two for his parents and one for his own girlfriend(slash-his-own-apartment since they lived together).
You looked up from the double boiler you were using to melt wax. “Cheollie?”
He stopped mid sentence, right about to tell you what he’d convinced Jihoon to order, “Yes?”
“Why don’t you live here?” The two of you had been together for almost two years at this point—although you’d known him for longer.
He made his way over to you, setting the list down closer. “Don’t you remember?” He leaned against your fridge. “You said you didn’t want to live with anyone for a while.”
Your brows drew together. When did you…? And then it clicked. Back when you first met Seungcheol (through Joshua—he went to the same gym as you, and one music-based conversation was enough to make the two of you friends), he’d said something about his own roommate at the time. You’d admitted that that was the exact reason why you weren’t going to live with anyone for a while. You made enough to support yourself: why not enjoy the solitude?
(“Even if you’re dating someone?” Joshua had said, nudging you as he kept stealing glances at Seungcheol.
“I mean, maybe eventually, but the right person isn’t going to force themselves in unless it’s an emergency,” you had shrugged in response. “I don’t mind sharing my space if I need to, but… I like living alone right now.”)
“I mean… Yeah… But…” You avoided his gaze, stirring the mixture with your silicone spatula to try and help it melt more evenly. “I just thought we’d talk about it at some point.”
He crossed his arms. “Honey?”
“Hm?”
“Is this your way of asking me to move in?”
One glance at Seungcheol was enough to tell you he was thoroughly enjoying the idea of making you admit it. Another slow stir, and you nodded after a moment. “Maybe.”
“Is it?” He pushed a little further, and you swore you could hear his smile in his words alone. “Do you want me to?”
“Can it be your Christmas gift?”
He let out a soft chuckle. “If you want. My lease isn’t up for a few months, but I’d love to move in when it’s up.”
You hid a smile. “Can you get the jars from my office? You’ll have to center the wicks when it’s time, too.”
Seungcheol stepped forward, pressing a quick peck against your cheek. “Whatever you need me to do,” he turned. You listened as he walked out, yet still spoke loud enough for you to hear him, “Can I get one for free?”
“Aren’t you sick of them by now?”
You heard the sound of glass clinking together as Seungcheol heaved the box into his arms, making his way back in, “I’m not moving in for a few months,” he said. “And you usually have one burning here…”
Fair enough. “You can get one of the leftovers.”
“Deal.” He set the box at his feet as he began to pull the jars out, setting them out. “I know I’ve said it before, but… I’m proud of you.”
“Cheollie—”
“No, really,” he said. “I am. You work full time and you do this as a side business because you love it. If you ever wanted to quit and do this full time… I’d be happy to support you.”
“I like my job,” you shrugged. “I like this, too, but I’m happy with the balance I have now. Especially when I have this guy who comes around sometimes to help me…”
He smiled, setting another jar down. “Is he handsome?”
“I think he’s pretty sexy, yeah,” you giggled. “I think you know him, actually. His name is Yoon Jeonghan—”
Seungcheol almost elbowed you playfully, only stopping because of the hot wax in front of you. “You’re so mean to me,” he pouted. “Right after you were begging me to move in, too.”
“I wasn’t begging.”
Seungcheol chuckled again. “Sure you weren’t.” He let out a blissful sigh. “So… What scent is this batch going to be again?”
“I dunno. What scent did Yoon Jeonghan want again?”
Wax be damned. He turned, immediately pulling you in for a quick kiss, and you could feel him smile against your lips as you giggled. Honestly, you couldn’t wait until he moved in with you officially.
(... And maybe you’d text that to Jeonghan so he could get in on teasing Seungcheol, too.)
taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny
#wooahaes.dec23#wooahaes.fic#seventeen imagine#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt imagine#svt x you#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol x you#s coups x reader#s coups x you
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When A Narcissist Dies: The Disturbing Reality of Dying Narcissists
So the other day I replied to a screenshot of an “anon” ask that was trying to guilt me for not publicly reacting to someone named Ardeth dying.
Ardeth was one of the people, and the main person involved, in labor trafficking me for 8 years. They had been my best friend for years before that, but as soon as they got me to move in with them, they started cutting me off from all outside friends and help, and then took their mask off. I was at their beck and call 24/7, never allowed to sleep for more than 4 hours, did every bit of labor in the house for three people, eight cats, and a giant dog, and was constantly threatened with being thrown out on the street over the smallest and stupidest things. (Seriously, one time I was ‘kicked out’ because I’d laughed at an episode of Archer in my bedroom. Amazing.)
Ardeth flew off the handle at every perceived slight, IRL and online. They even flew off the handle if they didn’t think I was defending them sufficiently hard from slights by other people. They’d throw things at both myself and their disabled S/O, threaten that if they could get out of bed they’d beat whichever of us made them mad at that moment, threaten to just die (funny now, not so much when I cared about them), the whole nine yards!
I got away from them some years ago, and moved in with the ex roommates I often call “the children” on here. (They’ve since claimed to have only been friends with me out of pity, very cool and normal of them and not at all childlike!)
Anyway, while I lived with them they gleefully experimented on my health (and got caught once in a while), and have since bragged about it. They tried to con me into giving them my car for free after they knew they were going to leave but hadn’t told me yet, and for years they made happy use of my stuff and my skills.
When they left, they left every speck of trash and all their things behind in the house, doubling “my” stuff after crying ceaselessly to strangers behind my back about how hard it was living with a hoarder. Never said shit to me IRL before saying they were moving out, btw. Cool!
I took this video in case there was legal trouble later with the landlord or whatever, and kept it to myself. But hell with it, enjoy!
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(I didn’t even ask them to clean out their shit and trash, they offered and volunteered and said right up to the end that they were going to do that. Whatever, obviously just a final ploy? And what a weird one at that? They stayed as Friendly As Could Be while here in person, probably so I’d keep giving them rides to things, like to pick up their new van. Whatever, I guess I’m fucking terrifying or something.)
Anyway, they fucked off in September 2017. Seven years ago, keep that in mind, because they and their buddies have dropped in on my tumblr fairly regularly ever since then, for some reason. I usually just roll my eyes and delete their messages, because, you know, some of us have other shit going on in our lives and they don’t live rent free in my head like I apparently live in theirs.
Around March, after Ardeth died, one of them dropped into my askbox on here to tell me. K. Already knew, already processed, didn’t care to react in public, delete!
Then the other day, the ask I replied to trying to... IDK, score some kind of moral points or something? because I hadn’t chatted about it in public and thus didn’t care?
But here’s the funny thing, this means they had to go scouring through seven or eight months of my fuckin tumblr to see if I’d ever replied or talked about it. Seven years after they moved out. What the fuck lmaaaaaaaaao
Ultimately, they’re right, I don’t care. And just as I said there, I’ll care even less when it’s them.
And I fully mean that, because I won’t even know? Probably? Like, I still had some contacts in common with Ardeth, but I don’t think I do with the children, and I don’t spare them a thought 99.9% of the time except on labor day (anniversary of my starting to live on my own, fuck yeah!) and sometimes when I’m doing something they’d hate, like naming a car. And then I have myself a little giggle. Imagine when I name my fuckin house! It’s going to be like an inside joke with myself by default, and I love that for me.
...Also, no, talking about that last ask a few days later doesn’t really count. This is me being amazed and amused at them scouring months of my tumblr looking for... IDK, anything. Seven years later. Fucking hilarious TBH.
And yeah, I know it’s them or their pals, because while they think they are VERY clever, no one else who knew Ardeth and myself would call them by their RP character name from one MMO, and feel the need to go ‘anon’ in my inbox. But dumb children are gonna be dumb children forever, I guess.
Enjoy shitting fire out of sheer rage, kiddos. I’ve shut off anons since it’s just donation requests and you lot as of late, but feel free to make lots of sock puppet accounts for me to laugh at and block cuz ya’all’re that mad and sad. 💕
Seven years of stalking, man. Yeah, I was the worst. You can tell I'm just awful, out here living my life, paying on my house, racking up raises at work, and not going out looking for ex buddies to stalk and harass. Truly diabolical of me.
Oh! While I’m at it, here’s exactly 1 year later in that same house, because clearly I was the problem and thus must have still been living in filth, right? Right.
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like, lmao lol rofl okay
#mah posts#mah askbox#<- so they can find it easier :) hi kids#casually dropping receipts#I didn't bother for all these years bc I didn't care but now it's funny enough#comedy is all about timing 8D
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ORV Characters Ranked by Least to Most Likely to Commit White Collar Crime
You guys said you wanted my ORV takes, and I try not to say things unsolicited, so I'll drop the good meta-analysis and literary criticism that I'm known for. For comedy purposes please pretend that ORV is American.
Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint characters broken down by likelihood to commit white collar crime, least to most:
Lee Hyeonseong: he's convinced that he's never committed a crime in his life. Intentionally, of course not. Unintentionally, he takes shopping for groceries extremely seriously, and is sometimes so wrapped up in the fruit inspection experience that he'll leave without paying. Due to his innocent face, bulk, and sheer confidence, he's never caught. In an economically thrifty maneuver, KDJ always sends him on snack runs for parties and texts him math problems while he's there. He insists it's like couponing. It's not couponing.
Jeong Huiwon: similarly, of course she would never choose to commit a crime. Also similarly, when KDJ says, 'Hey, wanna commit a crime?' she always participates. Since the crime is normally targeted at rich people, KDJ can usually morally justify it to her. She calls this harm reduction. It's not harm reduction.
Lee Jihye: would love to commit a crime in theory, almost never in practice. She has an idealized image in her mind of the ideal high school experience and it involves grand theft auto. However, the worst she ever gets is breaking & entering and trespassing, mostly because she didn't stop to wonder if the building was abandoned or not. She can't even shoplift from Claire's.
Shin Yuseung: the kind of kid who sets the dissection frogs in the school laboratory free. Looks up illegal exotic animal trading on the deepweb and sighs in longing. But exotic pet trading isn't very Animal Rights of her, so she just leaks information to the CIA and busts the rings. Lee Gilyeong convinces her to track down shady sellers on Craigslist and bust their kneecaps. Neither of them view this as significantly different from the dissection frog liberation. KDJ gets her a rescued exotic cat for her birthday as a reward.
Lee Gilyeong: self-explanatory.
Han Suyeong: she's been pirating media since she was eleven and has never stopped. World-class expert in pirating everything. She's the unsung hero who rips the CDs and games and puts them online. Runs the pirating websites. Has never paid for a webnovel or manwha or manga in her life. Despite this, she insists that pirating books is immoral and that people should support small authors. The FBI knows she exists and has been trying to catch her for years. She brags about this constantly.
Yoo Sangah: has committed tax fraud before, will commit tax fraud tomorrow, is currently committing tax fraud. Embezzles her company's embezzlement. Insists that she's only committing victimless crimes, mainly because she doesn't view business executives as people. Her ability to evade the IRS is mythological and it's how KDJ got a crush on her.
Yoo Junghyeok: does not understand adult life well enough to knowingly commit any sort of white collar crime. He is this high on the list because he enables and helps KDJ in literally everything he does, especially using his clout as an influencer. This is because KDJ has convinced him that these things aren't crimes, and he doesn't understand adult life well enough to figure it out.
Kim Dokja: has done every white collar crime under the sun. I can't emphasize enough how much crime he does. He's currently blackmailing SYS's college tuition out of a US Senator. HSY makes the shell companies and launders so much money with him. Alternates between running a pyramid scheme and a ponzi scheme depending on the month. Started a cult that one time but we don't like to talk about that. Runs the betting ring for YJH's esports games. Fixes the games. YJH does not know he does this, but KDJ splits the profits and Yoo Mia also needs a college tuition so he decides not to think about it too hard. Big into crypto and runs every crypto scam you can possibly think of, which is normally where the the ponzi schemes come in. Steals YJH's identity often. Somehow everything he does is technically legal. The only crime he does not commit is pirating. Exclusively targets the wealthy and ultra-wealthy and has never stolen money from a poor person. Sugar daddies all of his friends and pays all college tuitions. Anonymously yet obviously sponsors huge amounts of money to YJH's Twitch streams, mostly in apology for the ID theft. Would really rather be living a quiet life in a big house with all of his friends, but that big house ain't gonna pay for itself.
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yjh#kdj#orv is about capitalism and systems of power and how they should be broken#and destroying the narratives of the powerful designed to keep us complacent and infighting and bootlicking#fucking shame how nobody's written a leverage au#'why do people tell stories' hope and love and the human condition :)#but also in order to control people determine their futures determine their fates#and even if the story isn't true you can make it true#like the fbi planting coke in black neighborhoods.#also hugely the capitalist exploitation of the entertainment industry#the chinese sweatshop worker makes the idol merchendise for the tired overworked korean#who works for little pay and no credit and overtime in the outsourced korean animation studios#for american cartoons that depressed americans watch because it offers a sliver of joy in our lives#bc the americans are being exploited by fascists and oligarchs#the korean idol is exploited by their superiors and dehumanized by their fans#i should probably make alla that a. different post jklasdf#anyway that's why they do so much crime fuck the system
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