#been a real busy week + im trying not to go on much until i finish writing the shouto fic

[seiwas]

dropping in to see how everyone's doing!!

[luvyeni]

SAY CHEESE ,, 나재민

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ model!jaemin x fem!reader wc. 2.5k+

genre. smut

𓄷 includes ... fingering, unprotected sex, corruption kink, praise kink

「 authors note 𖹭 」 i needed a soft one , been doing cheating and yandere fics all week.

❪ masterlist! ❫

“i don't know chaewon,” you hear your roommate's footsteps padding behind you as you make your way into your bedroom— she was right on your hip as tried to close the door, pushing it open as you sat on your bed. “this is your assignment, and i don't feel comfortable doing it for you.”

your roommate whines sitting down on your bed as well. “please yn, i can't miss this internship it will be career changing, and you're the only person i know who can take photos as well as i do, maybe even better , and i know you wont try and fuck him cause you havent fucked anyone in your life.” she said, you scoffed. “why can't you text the guy and tell him you have another shoot?” you asked. “because this model is already hard to get and if i don't get this shoot im gonna fail my class.” she explained. “you passed this class last semester so you understand how much of a hard ass this teacher is.” she said.

“please yn,” she begged, “i will buy groceries for next month if you do this for me,” you thought about it, it was a good deal. “fine.” your friend smiled, clapping in excitement. “thank you, thank you so much.” she said hugging you. “okay, okay let me go.” you pulled away. “it's a two day shoot, he has his own hair and makeup team so all you have to do is show up and take pretty pictures of the pretty man.” she said. “who is this mysterious model who is so hard to get?”

“na jaemin.” she said, you knew the name; he was new to the modeling scene, but he was quickly growing, establishing himself in the cut throat industry. “how’d you manage to get him, i thought he was like london for a fashion show?” you asked. “what business does he have with a mediocre college student photoshoot?” your best friend scoffed. “ignoring the mediocre part, you know donghyuck?” you nodded, he had a crush on your roommate and was very open about it. “well he apparently knows jaemin, and he set this up for me , in exchange for a date.” you nodded. “using your assets, good for you.”

“yeah, and i didn't know this would be the only days he'd be free, and i didn't catch it until i checked my schedule.” she said standing up. “i'll text him and let him know, thank you so much.” you nodded. “Whatever, don't complain next month when it's time to shop for food.” she smiled sheepishly. “i won't promise.” she said. “now get out, i have to work on this essay that's due in like 4 hours.”

the next day was the day of the shoot, luckily you didn't have class so it wasn't a big inconvenience— the night before you made sure all your cameras were charged and working properly, thankfully they were and you were ready to go. “here's the address, you might want to get there earlier than he does so you can be ready , he's pretty busy and we don't know how long he has on his schedule.” your friend came back into your room , to which you agreed.

you got to the destination of the shoot a few hours before the shoot, cleaning up the place a bit; setting up the background and decorations. you brought a few snacks and drinks for him and his staff, also setting those out for the taking. you sent your roommate a quick message wishing her good luck with her internship, the door to the place opening. “hello?”

you looked up from your phone; he came in smiling, his team following behind him , he had this aura to him, he definitely was a model, he was attractive— very attractive, it made you kind of speechless. “h-hi.” you said, letting them come in. “you guys can set up over there.”

you finished up your texting, deciding to make yourself known for real. “hi im yn.” you watched him lift his eyebrow in confusion. “yn?” he asked. “what happened to chaewon? hyuck told me this was for her class.” chaewon didn't text him— you were gonna kill her. “it is, she had a internship today and she couldn't miss it, she also couldn't miss this shoot because then she'd fail this class and she didn't want to do that so she sent me.” jaemin watched you nervously fiddle with your finger as you explained yourself, smiling to himself. “is that okay? i can show you some of my work if it makes you comfortable.”

“no baby doll don't worry,” his words made you freeze up. “hyuck said chaewon was nice girl, so im sure she surrounds herself with other nice girls.” his eyes scanned up your body, making your cheeks heat up as he made eye contact with yours. “you seem like a nice girl.” you nodded, still flustered. “o-okay, i'm gonna go finish setting up, you guys can finish getting him ready, i brought snacks in case any of you get hungry they're over there so.” you quickly ran over to your camera. “she's cute.” his stylist said. “so adorable.” his makeup artist said, he smiled, pulling out his phone.

jaemin. your girl didn't show up, her roommate did.

hyuck. ik she text me , and told me, yn is a good girl though, she's also a photographer.

jaemin. single?

hyuck. definitely, she doesn't even come out much. why you like?

jaemin. very much.

hyuck. go for it then 😉

he watched you adjust the camera, muttering something to yourself, his stylist handed him his outfit to get changed into, he took the clothes into his hand, making his way over to you. he stood behind you, waiting for you to take notice of him. “we can get started when—” you turned around to where the boy was already standing there, extremely close, close enough where you could smell his cologne. “I have to change into my clothes.” he said. “chaewon gave me a dress code.” you nodded. “of course she did.” you looked around the studio. “there's no bathrooms in here , and i don't have the key to the one outside.”

“don't stress baby doll,” there was that nickname again, “i’ve had to change in public before, nothing knew.” he walked away leaving you confused, until you seen his arms lifting up and off his shirt went; your hands coming up to cover your eyes. “you-you're gonna get dressed here.” he laughed at you. “it's not like there's anywhere else,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “you act like you've never seen a naked man before.” you hadn't , but he didn't know that. “ju-just quickly get changed.” you fanned your heated face , he smiled.

jaemin knew you probably hadn't, he just wanted to see your reaction and he was thoroughly amused at what he was seeing. “get dressed and leave the poor girl alone.” his stylist said, slapping the back of his head. he finished changing his clothes, just as you were turning around. “great we can finally get started.”

the shoot went good, you took a bunch; a few you knew chaewon would like and a few you liked, you probably took over 100 photos of the boy; not that you were complaining, you got to stare at this gorgeous man and not look like a weirdo. “how do they look?” jaemin asked. “would you like to see?” he nodded, coming behind the camera; you showed him your laptop screen. “see?”

“you're really talented?” he watched you try and hide a smile at his praise. “you can smile baby doll, it was a compliment,” he said. “th-thank you.” you said with your head down. “which ones do you like?” he asked. “huh?” you said confused. “oh-oh well this is chaewons project so i just did what I know she likes.” he hummed, “yeah i know it's chaewons, but if it was your project, what would you choose?” you didn't realize how close he was until you could feel his breathing on your neck.

“um.” you clicked through the photos. “th-these three.” you pointed out. “oh someone likes my upper body i see?” he laughed as you turned around wide eyed, stuttering out an explanation. “don't worry i don't mind it all, i got into this business to be stared at and admired by pretty and sweet girls like you.” he said. “tell chaewon she should use these, her roommate has good taste.”

the rest of the shoot went by in a blur, soon you were cleaning up and jaemin was changing back into his comfortable clothes. “we'll go get the car ready.” he nodded, his small staff leaving the studio, leaving you and him alone; just what he wanted, he watched you talk on the phone. “i should be home soon, don't worry, yeah , no i'm not saying it, fine i love you too, bye.” you hung up. “boyfriend?” he asked, knowing the answer already. “oh no, that was chaewon.” you chuckled.

“so a pretty little thing like you don't have a boyfriend?” you shyly nodded, “like ever?” you were embarrassed. “no it's okay baby doll i'm just a bit shocked.” he said. “it's you're so pretty, I never would have imagined you were single.” he said , coming closer making you nervously turn around , but you could still get hear him getting closer until he was caging you against the table. “ja-jaemin.”

“come on pretty, let me make you feel good.” he pressed up against you. “turn around for me.” he whispered in your ear, smiling when obediently did. “good girl, you listen well.” you eyes were wide. “your staff.” he smirked. “trust, they know, don't worry about that.” his hand came up to your thigh, making its way up your skirt. “i-i’ve never done this before.” you felt his hand close to your clothed cunt. “i know pretty just relax.” you felt his hand on your mound, making you close your legs around his arms. “no.” he smiled. “you gotta keep them open if you want me to make you feel good.”

you slowly opened your legs allowing him to move again. “good girl.” he thumbed on your clit, you let out a whimper, biting your lip to cover it up. “let me hear all those pretty noises.” he pulled your panties to the side. “i'm gonna put a finger inside you, okay?” you nodded, his slowly ran his finger up your slit, before pushing his finger in. “ja-jaemin.” you moaned. “feel good?” he moved his finger in and out. “you're so wet, this pretty pussy never been played with, you're dripping all over my hand.”

you were a mess, your face was so fucked out from one finger it made him hard as a rock. “m’gonna add another one okay?” you nodded, he lifted your leg higher holding it as he added another finger. “good girl , taking two of my fingers.” he praised, you really like that, your cunt tightening around his digits. “you liked that? me praising you?” you nodded. “answer me baby doll , you like when i praise you?”

“y-yes i do.” you felt a sensation bubbling in your stomach. “ja-jaemin i feel.” you couldn't stop it from coming, your legs closing around his hand once again, as your orgasm washed over you.

jaemins eyes lit up light a child's on christmas morning as he watched you orgasm, your juices covering his finger. “there you go, cumming all over my hand.” he cursed, feeling his cock begging to be freed from his sweats. “good girl, let it all for me, fuck im so hard right now” he groaned, pressing his lip to the side of your head. “you want me to fuck you? stretch your little pussy out?”

you moaned, nodding. “pl-please.” you weren't really waiting for “the perfect guy” but right about now, you were really worked up and the way you could feel jaemins grinding his clothed cock against you— he was the perfect guy.

he lifted you on to the counter. “sh-shit.” he pulled his pants down enough to pull his cock out, hissing, the air hitting his leaky tip. “so fucking hard for you doll, ready for me?” you bit your lip as he lined his cock up to your entrance. “fuck.” he groaned as he slowly worked himself inside you. “jaemin.” you moaned, he held your hips down. “fuck don't move baby, let me do it.” he fully seethed himself inside you. “fuck, you're so tight.”

he slowly moved; your cunt barely letting him out, he was in heaven— and so were you, hold his bicep , your head thrown back as he fucked you, you never felt this sensation before, but you loved it. “please, faster.” you moaned , he smirked, speeding up. “you want more?” he groaned, his hips now slapping against yours with much force. “fuck baby doll i'll give you more.”

you could feel the counter below you shaking as he fucked into you vigorously. “that's it, take nana fat cock inside you.” he groaned, slowly losing himself. “fuck you're little pussy is so good.” he cursed. “fuck i'm gonna cum.” he moaned. “you going cum for me?” he toyed with your clit. “be a good girl and cum for me.”

and with his words and him fucking into you deeply, kissing your cervix you soon cumming hard, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your cunt tightened around him, his cursed as he came inside you. “oh fuck yn.” he sighed, his head dropping as he came, you could feel him every inch of him twitching inside you you as he covered your inside in white. “oh fuck.”

he slowly pulled out, smirking as you whimpered. “so sensitive baby.” he said, his cum leaking from your hole. “that felt good baby.” he kissed your neck. “so good if my staff weren't waiting for me, i would stuff my cock back into your pretty pussy.” smiling as you whined. “there's always tomorrow.” he said, pulling away, finally letting you get dressed.

“will you be back tomorrow?” he asked. “yeah, chaewon has another day at her internship.” he helped you pack up all your cameras. “good.” he handed you the bag. “i’ll come without my staff,” you yelped as he pulled you close. “why?”

“because after you take all the pictures you need , i don't need any distractions when i teach you to take my cock in that pretty mouth.”

©LUVYENI

[martinmuhl]

⋆✧˚ ༘ prove it (part 2)

pair: paige bueckers x reader

warnings: cussing

summary: notorious player paige wants to take the star volleyball player out on a date

authors note: hi babies !!! sorry this one is so long i was just having so much fun w it! hope you enjoy <3

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

a week after your run in with paige, there’s radio silence. you hadn’t heard anything from the blonde basketball player. you couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed, no matter how many times you told yourself that she wasn’t going to prove anything. you knew paige… not well, but well enough. it had only been your first semester at uconn, but you knew paige’s reputation just like everyone else. she enjoyed sleeping around, but the last you’d heard of her sleeping around was 3 months ago with your teammate. as much as you were disappointed that you hadn’t heard from her though, you were at least happy you hadn’t heard that she was sleeping around. maybe she had changed.

shaking your head, you hear a knock at your door as you rolled out of bed. who could possible be here at 7am? you swung the door open, standing face to face with a girl you’d recognized as kk arnold. she was holding a boutique of daisies. kk was paige’s teammate, what was she doing here so early? and with flowers too?

“i think you have the wrong apartment,” you say, a confused look on her face at your words.

“oh no, i’m at the right place. you’re y/n, and oh yeah i’m kk!” she beamed, trying to shake your hand but not being able to set down the giant bouquet, “ah forget it, but my girl paige wanted me to drop these off since she has basketball workouts every morning this week so… i hope this isn’t weird, but she’s been on me about making this perfect so if you could just take them..” she trailed off, obviously nervous. you took the bouquet from her and set it down behind you.

“thank you kk. do you know how she found my apartment? also, why couldn’t she have dropped them off after her workout?” you ask. kk throws her hands up in a shrug and sighs.

“girl boo, i don’t know! paige is weird. she’s all shy and nervous and shit, ive never seen her act so weird,” she shrugs again, a sudden ‘oh shit’ look on her face. she starts digging around in her pockets, “shit i almost forgot this! paige would’ve killed me for real. here!” she hands a small folded note. “well, gotta go ball! see you y/n!”

you take the note, frozen in place. she sent kk to bring flowers and a note? so maybe she was trying to prove you wrong. “uh thanks kk! bye?” you shout at her as she hurries down the hall. after grabbing the bouquet of flowers, you head back inside your apartment and put them in a vase with water. you couldn’t wait any longer as you unfold the note from paige.

y/n, i hope you like the flowers! i didn’t know what your favorite flowers were so stay tuned… sorry i couldn’t deliver them to you myself. i have workouts every morning and im really busy this week. i got big things planned though for us. imma prove it to you, ma.

p.s. i hope you don’t think im a stalker… i asked your teammates for your address and your schedule. see you soon. <3

- paige

you smile and shake your head, giggling. you couldn’t believe paige was actually doing this for you. paige was notorious though so as much as your heart pounded at the thought of her trying so hard for just one date with you, you had to protect your heart until you fully trusted her. it was going to take a lot more than a bouquet of daisies delivered by her teammate.

up until friday, kk showed up at your door at 7am every day with a bouquet of flowers and a note from paige. monday was daisies, tuesday was peonies, wednesday was tulips, and thursday was lilies. friday morning rolled around though and kk didn’t show up that morning. disappointment rolled through you, but you couldn’t be too upset due to the fact that you knew paige was making an effort. she took the time to send flowers and a note every morning for the past week. you shouldn’t expect anything more.

friday was particularly busy for you as you had errands to run, workouts, class, then practice. the national college volleyball tournament was in just a few weeks and coach was running you guys ragged wanting to perfect every rotation. you played in every rotation so you were especially exhausted and sore after every practice this week. your day went by and still nothing from paige. no kk, no flowers, no notes. you shrugged it off, she was probably just busy today. she had already done so much this past week.

in the locker room before practice, you were telling your teammates about paige and what had been going on. allison, your teammate she had slept with, listened with wide eyes. you expressed that you hoped allison wouldn’t be upset with you or make it weird or anything for the sake of your friendship and team dynamic.

“girl we hooked up one time months ago, this is not weird or anything! i think it’s sweet and i think you should go for it! be careful though okay? we fucked and then she completely ghosted me so just be careful. make her work for it, you’re a special girl y/n. now come on before coach kills us for being late!” allison smiles, patting your back. you sighed, feeling relieved but taking her words very seriously. you would not let paige play you.

after practice, you stayed for a while just to get some reps by yourself. as you were shagging the balls, you heard someone enter the gym. it’s probably just a janitor. you continue with what you’re doing until you turn around and there’s paige at the other side of the gym, volleyballs in hand. you both walk toward the cart to place them in. you suddenly felt very nervous and flustered. it was late and she was here, helping you.

“uh thanks for the help. what are you doing here?” you muster out, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks. stay calm, stay cool, don’t let her play her. those thoughts echoing in your head.

“i wanted to see you, ma. you weren’t at your apartment so i figured you were here. did you like the flowers?” she asks, smiling. her blonde hair was wet down her shoulders, she wore a white uconn basketball shirt, grey sweats, and a gold chain around her damn neck. oh you were fucked.

“i did, thank you. you didn’t have to do that though. the deal was that you keep your hands and mouth to yourself, not showering me with gifts.” you say, trying not to give in so easily to her charm.

“can’t i do both?” she asks, cocking her head with a smirk on her face.

“i guess…” you shrug. “im surprised though. i haven’t heard anything yet about your typical shenanigans. girls not finding you so irresistible lately?”

she laughs, throwing her head back. “i told you i was going to prove to you that i want to take you out. i am a woman of my word. now come on! i have one last surprise.” she quickly grabs your hand, pulling you towards a table in the corner of the gym. as you approach you see a bouquet of red and white roses and a basket full of goodies. you see snacks, gatorades, face masks, bath salts, fuzzy socks, and a coupon for a free massage. you turn to look at her, a smile bright on your face. she was making it so difficult to resist. she chewed on her lip watching you, she looked… nervous.

“our coach likes to work us really hard before big games so i figured yours probably does too… i’ve never made anyone anything like this before so i hope you like it. kk and aubrey helped me with it so…” she trails off, scratching the back of her neck. all you could do is gape at her. this was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for you. fuck it. you threw your arms around her, a silent thank you. she left out a deep breath, relaxing into the hug.

pulling away, you verbally thank her and insist that she doesn’t have to do all of this. she just shakes her head, asking if you need a ride home. you close up the gym and paige drives you and you basket of goodies back to your apartment. you begin to learn more about paige and realize that you had already begun to fall for her charm. as you pull up to your apartment building, you reach over and give her a hug, thanking her again for everything.

you pull away and slip out of the car. you begin to walk away as you hear her shout, “see you next week, ma!”

“what’s next week?” you shout back.

“your next surprise!” she smiles and drives off. you stand there stunned, you were falling for paige bueckers and you could only hope it doesn’t come back to bite you.

[reidsaurora]

hil! so im a little nervous to send this in and confused how exactly to request but im gonna try anyway

the summer celebration and the banner is so cute! could i please request for you to write a "Malibu Dream House - domestic!au" with Reid and fem!reader? Spencer and reader are expecting (unless you're uncomfy with pregnancy, then they can just be a couple that's moving) and relocating, buying a home together. and the team comes over for a house warming party during well obviously the summer! just like cute fluffy dynamics between everyone. Rossi is protecting the bbq like it’s his baby and ofc Ms. Penelope Garcia is excited at the possibilities of the couple’s future

i hope this isn’t too boring a request, and of course no pressure to write this, i just hope you’re having a good day and hope summer treats you well 🩵

hi, lovey! sorry this took so long! as usual, i don't have an excuse alshalsjsksh 💀 hope u enjoy though!

"With A Little Help From Our Friends" ~ S. Reid

Summary: When Reader is feeling apprehensive about the end of her pregnancy, Spencer reminds her that really all you need is a little help from your friends.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 1,846

Content Warning: pregnancy stuff, a little sexual humor at the end, food talk, small mention of a gun (this is CM after all), lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: it definitely didn't take me three different attempts to write something without scrapping it...

Originally Written: 07/23/2024 through 07/27/2024

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold (love u my editor 4 life)

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Summer Celebration can be found here!

Malibu Dream House - domestic!au

Crashing Waves - angst requests -> Sun Kissed - fluff requests

To say the last couple months had been busy would've been an understatement.

Sure, when you and Spencer first saw that little blue plus sign, you went into full-blown parent mode. It started with some baby clothes, then some bottles, then the crib… But, entering the last trimester of your pregnancy, that's when things started to get real.

In the process of getting ready, you'd acquired enough things for a potential army of babies, making Spencer's apartment—originally intended for one resident—feel even tinier than the baby you were soon to birth. So what was Spencer's genius solution? Move into a new house, because he simply couldn't get rid of his baby's things before she'd even arrived.

And that was how you found yourselves heavily pregnant and moving into your new three-bedroom Cape Cod in the quiet town of Cabin John, Maryland. Perhaps you should've found somewhere that wouldn't require waiting until your eighth month of pregnancy to move in, but with its charming blue-and-white exterior and flower boxes on nearly every window, it was hard to say no to the place.

The last week had been spent moving everything in, not much thanks to you but thanks to your friends/colleagues of the BAU. Pretty much everyone had been in and out of your home over the week, but Spencer still insisted that the two of you should throw a housewarming party, and who were you to say no to that cute smile and big brown eyes? You only hoped your daughter wouldn't inherit them, or else you might just take that two letter word out of your vocabulary altogether.

Now you were here, in the kitchen supply aisle of the grocery store, contemplating what paper plates to use for the party.

“I really don't think anyone's going to care about the design, love,” Spencer attempted to reassure you. “Just so long as they aren't flimsy.”

Your pregnancy brain was basically ignoring him at this point though. “What if I buy the wrong ones and they think they're ugly?”

Spencer pouted, though he placed a supportive hand on your back. “How long have you known my colleagues? And how many times has someone said something mean about something so miniscule?”

“There was that one time Rossi said he didn't like that flower arrangement I put on the coffee table.”

“In his defense, he said they were the same colors that his second wife had at their wedding,” he explained, then chuckled. “He was probably just having some PTSD.”

Eventually, after a few more minutes of contemplation, you decided on the basic white ones, Spencer reassuring you all the while that they were perfect. Then, it was onto cutlery, which was just another thing for your brain to pick apart. You knew it was silly, truly, but you just couldn't get yourself out of your own head about even the most miniscule things.

On top of that, it seemed as though your husband hadn't missed your shift in behavior. Sometimes it sucked that he read people for a living.

“Honey,” he started, his tone sounding oddly like the word he'd just said, “are you sure this is about paper plates and plastic forks?”

Normally, you'd be able to put up a fight with your brain, push down the thoughts and explain later in the comfort of your home. But pregnant you was much different than regular you, and it only took that one question to have you tearing up.

You leaned into his shoulder, hoping to suppress the sounds of your cries. “What if I make all the wrong choices and the baby hates me?”

His lips met the crown of your head for a gentle kiss, followed by a soft sigh. “I promise she'll love you. You're going to be the most wonderful mother any little girl could ask for.”

“But what if I buy her the wrong diapers and she yells at me?”

Spencer gave you that signature pout, and a small swarm of butterflies set off in your belly. “I doubt she'll be that picky over them, but if she is, we just buy her new ones and make it better.”

You couldn't help but snicker through your tears. “I feel like that's awful advice, but I think I get what you mean.”

“C'mere,” he mumbled, pulling you in as closely as possible. Your bump had made it hard for hugs to happen, but that definitely didn't stop your husband from trying. “You're going to make a mistake or two. It's in our nature. I will most likely make a lot more than one or two mistakes-”

“Not true. You're gonna be the best dad in history.”

“And you will be the best mom in history. It's going to be a learning curve for all three of us. But, when they say ‘it takes a village,’ at least we know we have our village. JJ will be there to help with all your new mom questions and Hotch will be there to help me build her first treehouse. Kate will be there when she starts playing with makeup and we start to feel old.”

You giggled into his shoulder, earning you a small smile. “Penny will be there just to spoil her.”

“Emily will be there just to teach her how to flip someone off,” he snickered, the sound vibrating against your skin. Then, he was pulling you up for a long but sweet kiss, the taste of his morning coffee taking over your senses. “We've got this. You've got this.”

And instantly, you were feeling better. You knew Spencer knew magic, but sometimes you swore he was a wizard with the way he could change things just by saying one thing.

—

The second you pulled into the driveway, your heart sank to your stomach.

“Spence, why is the gate open?” You only hoped he had a reasonable explanation.

Unfortunately, his answer was not at all what you were hoping to hear. “I'm not sure. I don't think I left it open.”

Abandoning your party supplies in the car, the two of you headed toward the gate, Spencer insisting you and the baby stay behind him. As an FBI agent, he knew never to go anywhere without a gun, so luckily he at least had some way to protect you and himself if it came to that.

With one hand, he pushed open the cracked gate, the other lingering near his firearm just in case. The two of you quietly and slowly made your way into the backyard. Your heart was beating so hard against your chest, it felt like it would jump right out of your ribcage. Spencer managed to remain his normal, calm self, but you couldn't say the same.

And then, just as you rounded the corner: “SURPRISE!”

Both you and Spencer nearly jumped out of your skin at the screams, though you both quickly realized what was going on.

Pink and white balloon arrangements, one table filled to the brim with gifts and another covered with various snack trays and drinks. If it wasn't clear this was a baby shower, the sea of people in pink outfits would've been the giveaway.

Penelope was first to greet you, her pink sundress bouncing as she practically ran to meet you. “You don't understand how hard it was to keep this from you,” she said, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

Your arms flew around her neck, and hers wrapped around what they could of your stomach. “What is all this?” Now you were on the verge of tears with her.

“Papa Rossi wanted to throw you guys a shower and of course we had to surprise you.”

You let go of Penelope and turned to Rossi, wearing his normal attire, except for his normal white button-down had been replaced with a pink one. “Dave, you old softie!”

His arms wrapped around your neck for a small hug, and he left a peck to each of your cheeks. “I love you, kid, but don't call me old.”

You laughed as he let go, and immediately he walked over to the grill, like that was where he belonged. Then, you and Spencer were off to make the rounds.

Spencer wore the biggest smile you'd ever seen, aside from the one he had when you'd first shown him the pregnancy test. Even though you'd been with Spencer for nearly a decade, you still felt butterflies and goosebumps when he smiled, when he laughed, when he called you ‘love’.

“He's gonna be the best,” Penelope said, her eyes following yours.

You smiled before turning back to her. “Yeah, he really will.”

Just then, Luke and Spencer headed your way, Spencer moving to stand behind you. Immediately, you leaned into him, and he took your belly in his hands, relieving some of the pressure there. “Why were you staring?” he teased in your ear.

“I just think you're pretty,” you giggled, the sound like music to your husband's ears.

Luke snickered at the interaction, though he tossed an arm around his girl, giving Penny a quick kiss on the head. “By the way, you guys should have babies more often. This woman has been cooking enough to feed an army. She left like ten casseroles in the fridge for you guys.”

“Penelope,” Spencer gave her a soft look of something close to disapproval, though you knew he didn't mean it. “You didn't have to do that.”

“You and Mama are gonna need something to eat, and I know you guys are not going to feel like cooking after being up with a newborn all night.”

And it was time for another hug, the tears from earlier actually falling this time. You weren't sure what it was about pregnancy, but you'd realized it had made you awfully touchy. But you didn't care, especially today, when you were in the arms of some of your best friends.

“Hey, Penny,” Luke said as he watched the encounter, a tone of slyness to his words. “Maybe we should hop on the train next. Then you'll have a reason to make that breakfast casserole more often.”

She pulled away from the hug before turning to her boyfriend with probably the most serious look you'd ever seen her wear. “Luke Santiago Alvez, if you bring your man-juices anywhere near me, I will rip off your thingy and then feed it to you.”

You couldn't help the laugh that escaped your lips. Then, you turned to Spencer, who was just confused. “Did she just call it a thingy?”

“Did she just say man-juices?” His sentence elicited giggles from all four of you.

It was then that “With A Little Help From My Friends” by The Beatles started to play on the speaker, no doubt having been taken over by Hotch. But as the song played, you couldn't help but notice the sea of people all here for your baby. Sure, you were terrified. But you knew you'd get through it: with just a bit of help from your friends.

-> taglist: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @cat-lockwood @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @topguncultleader @mente-sindescanso @reverieofmgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @thevisionthedream @dungeons-are-too-cold @mmmeademaaa @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @annahalstead5021 @cwritesforfun @soapiebear @maelartasch @buckyyyismahhlife @cynbx @hellooitsrose @lover-of-books-and-tea @juismissing @captainchris-pike @therealrazortai

[soonyoungs]

OH MY GOD HI!!! PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS WITH ME BECAUSE I'M GOING CRAZY: https://x.com/kinulta/status/1758079004891119867?t=gqoiVpFsS-sWDhu2m910jw&s=19

this is SO woozi... he hasn't touched you properly for exactly 2 weeks and you are so so needy... so on a normal day at the studio you go to check it out if he is eating, he simply decides to take a break. he sits with you on the couch, talks a little, until kisses automatically appear. at first, small kisses with smiles on both sides, but everything goes wrong when he puts you on his lap. the pink mouth attacking yours and you can't hold back, letting out a soft moan between the contact. you want him SO MUCH, but you don't force him to do anything or demand anything from him, because you know how busy he is. HOWEVER, he surprises you when he takes out his own cell phone and starts recording a video. you find it strange, but then you understand the real function. he asks you to sit on the floor, so that the camera captures his pretty face well ☝🏻 and his only demand is that you stay quiet. nothing else. like a good girl you obey. you're still so turned on and you only realize how much when he has his fingers in you and his hand over your mouth, working to really keep you still. the little body that hasn't felt this for so many days is overloaded and that's why you cum faster than normal, letting a squeaky, sly noise leave your lips when the orgasm comes... and you think he'll probably finish and go back to work, but once again he surprises you by continuing to play with your sensitive clit and your intimacy, It's SO MUCH, your legs are shaking nonstop and you you can hear the wet noises throughout the studio. you know it’s too much but you still leave him there because you know he probably needed it more than you did and only after the fourth orgasm does he stop, you're exhausted and he hasn't used anything other than his fingers. your mind is blank and you desperately need a hug... he kisses your forehead and fixes your hair, saying that you are a good girl and obeyed him just as he asked. so he stops the recording and whether he'll fuck you afterwards or not... it's up to you, love

please please please please PLEASE

ఇ woozi and gn!reader (mentions of a clit and vagninal insertion!)

ఇ warnings: smut! not proofread! implied squirting maybe? as usual i do not know how to end things so abrupt ending :(

ఇ wc: 2,052

ఇ notes: baby you basically wrote this yourself!! i hope this is okay and im so sorry it’s taken me forever to get it out! ♡︎

weeks. it had been weeks since you last properly saw him, let alone touched him. it was becoming a problem, a very difficult and needy problem. however you had come to the conclusion that you can’t be too upset with him, as your job has kept you away from home just as much as his.

it wasn’t until you had a day off that you had reached your breaking point. you had to see him, today. sitting on your couch all day just waiting for the hours to tick by so you could catch a glimpse of your lover. it was around 7:00 pm when you had given in to your curiosities and decided to go see him yourself. 

throwing on a hoodie you grab your essentials and order a taxi. anxiety and anticipation rumble in your tummy, almost bubbling over, along the way. questions bouncing all over your brain. has he been eating? does he rest properly? as you continue thinking the worst your taxi pulls up beside an all too familiar building. you jump out, tip the driver and make your way upstairs, muscle memory taking over.

once you get to where you need to be you hesitantly knock on the door before opening it, briefly exposing his studio to the outside world. “hello,” you call out, softly, only to make your presence known “is anyone here?”

you can hear the sound of keys clacking as you move farther into the room. once you’ve made it far enough in you shyly clear your throat, trying to get his attention, again. this time he reacts to you, jumping slightly before turning his neck to see how has interrupted his brainstorming. “oh,” he exclaims “babe, what are you doing here?” he’s not able to hide his excitement as his smile grows wide on his face.

he moves over to you and embraces you tightly. “is this mine,” he asks tugging at the hem of the hoodie you’re wearing. you laugh and nod, mumbling something about how it smells like him and whatnot. the sound of your laugh gets his heart racing and has the tips of his ears burning red at record speed. he’s missed you, that much you can clearly tell.

you lean in to his touch, nuzzling your head into his neck, leaving small pecks. “missed you. missed you a lot, ji” you sigh, finally letting your body relax against his. he hums as he rubs your back. after standing in the middle of his studio for a solid five minutes, muttering “missed you”’s and “i love you”’s to one another, woozi takes your hand and leads you to the couch he has, off to the side, for late nights. 

once he’s sat on the cushions he pulls you down, onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you in place. he’s rocking you back and forth as you both catch up on the activities and work that’s kept you from each other. “it sucks,” you pout “hate that you’re so good at what you do. it keeps you away from home too much”. he knows you only mildly mean it, knows you’re just being needy and pouty so he lets it go.

you sigh and lean back in to him as he begins to rub soothing circles on your hips, before tapping his fingers to create a beat in his mind. you turn your head into his neck and leave small kisses there, trying to divert his attention away from work and back to you. “ji,” you voice comes out breathy, needy “missed you,” you say it again, batting your eyelashes at him, hoping he catches on this time. he laughs at your failed attempt at nonchalance before adjusting the both of you, so he can plant kisses on your face, your nose, your eyes, your ears, your neck, anywhere he’s able to reach.

woozi lifts your chin and leans in to give you a soft kiss on your lips. you sigh into the kiss, reaching up to run your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck, gently massaging his scalp. after a few minutes of soft kisses and taking small breathers, woozi leans in to give you a deep, longing, kiss. catching you off guard, you let out a small moan and let your hips lift off of his lap a little, signaling that your neediness is almost to the point of uncontrollable. woozi smiles into the kiss and deepens it even further. “be good for me,” he nips at your bottom lip “okay, baby?”

you nod frantically, waiting for instruction. woozi moves you to his side, placing you on the couch directly. you begin to pout before realizing woozi has gotten up and placed his phone on the counter in front of you, making sure it’s able to capture the couch and anything that might happen there. he looks at you, raising an eyebrow in a silent question. you nod before opening your mouth “yes, it’s okay, want it”. you weren’t quite sure what it was, but you’re hoping to find out soon.

woozi makes his way back to the couch, and you. sitting himself back in the spot he had vacated earlier, he motions for you to place yourself back on his lap. you quickly do as instructed. as you take your seat, you can feel the beginning of his excitement starting to grow. once nestled back in his lap you begin to move your hips slowly, looking back to see his reaction. woozi has his head tilted back, neck pressed against the head rest of the couch. he slowly lifts his head, bringing his hands to your hips to halt your movements. “said you’d be good, remember,” he questions, cocking an eyebrow. you let out a small “yes” before facing forward. “good baby,” he mutters, leaning forward to kiss your neck “now, i need you to be so quiet, okay”.  he’s bringing his hands down to the hem of the hoodie you’re wearing and dragging his fingers up the length of your thigh, all the way to your panties. your breath catches in your throat, it’s been weeks without his touch and the gentle way he’s handling you now is driving you insane. the slow pace that he’s going causes your frustrated hips to push up, wanting to force him into applying pressure, but he’s not ready for that yet.

removing his hand from your panties, woozi moves to remove your hoodie, leaving you only in your undies. the cool air in the studio creates chills all over your skin and you arch your back at the feeling. woozi puts his hand back where it had originally been, against your core. he can feel the heat through the thin fabric of you panties. “needy, huh” he asks, knowing damn well he was just as needy as you. “yes, ji” you confirm “i’m so needy for you. i’ve missed you so much, it’s been hell without you there to take care of me.”

woozi nods in agreement, it’s been hell for him without you too, but now’s not the time to discuss that. he pushes the center of your panties to the side, sliding his fingers through your warm slick. you sigh and throw your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to steady yourself against his wrist. “feel good,” he questions, lips pressed against the side of your head in a small kiss. you nod, letting out a whiny “uh-huh”. he continues to softly get his finger wet, teasing you along the way.

once he’s deemed his fingers wet enough he inserts two at once, scissoring them in order to give you a good stretch. you bite your lip, remembering your vow of silence. your breaths come out in heavy puffs as you try not to moan. he continues to stretch you for just a bit longer before he’s inserting another finger and moving at a slightly faster pace. his fingers hit deep inside you and do wonders to fill you to the brim. your chest is heaving at your nearing climax. woozi knows you’re close by the small squeaking noises you’re making. he moves his fingers faster, adjusting his wrist so his fingers hit the deepest part inside of you, knowing it drives you mad. your back is arching off of his chest as he catapults you into your orgasm. “so good baby,” he’s whispering “so hot, want you to cum just like this. cum all over my fingers baby,” and at his command you do such. your eyes roll back and your mouth is open in a silent scream as woozi continues to move his fingers inside of you, helping you to ride out your high. 

your body is so exhausted the it slumps against woozi, sliding down on to the ground in front of the couch. realizing he isn’t finished with you, woozi leans forward spreading your knees baring them to his phone, who’s camera is still recording. you bend your neck to look up at him. he leans down, giving you a kiss before reaching down to slide your panties off of you completely. once he’s removed the garment he places a finger against your core, teasing your clit. you groan and toss your head back, resting against his knee. “quiet baby,” he warns, placing his free hand over your mouth. the fingers on his other hand begin rubbing harsher circles against you. he continues alternating between gentle and harsh touches before he inserts them again. it doesn’t take much for you to be launched into your second and third consecutive orgasms. 

he removes his hand from your core and places his fingers in his mouth, tasting you. his other hand has moved from you mouth to your head, petting you softly as you pant. woozi removes his fingers from his mouth and holds your chin so he can make eye contact with you. “one more baby, okay,” he asks gently, knowing it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate with one another. you lazily nod your head and lean your cheek against his thigh, turning every once and a while to leave a kiss or love bite.

woozi reaches down again, this time without restraint. he knows that if it’s going to be the last time you cum tonight he will make it the best. he’s moving his fingers at lightning speed, eliciting loud groans and whines from you. as he previously did before, he reaches his other hand up to your mouth, only this time pushing his two middle fingers in your mouth and down your throat. the fingers on your clit continue moving faster and harder throwing you to the brink of orgasm in seconds. your back is arched to a point that worries woozi, but he doesn’t dare stop. the wet, squelching sounds that are coming from you would normally embarrass you, but you feel like you’re experiencing everything out of body at the moment. tears and drool are running down your face as your pleasure reaches an almost fever pitch. woozi finally feels he needs to show you some mercy and pinches your clit in between his rubs.

your eyes cross one last time, as you are thrashing against woozi’s body. your thighs are shaking so violently you are certain you won’t be able to use them for days. a heat forms in your gut as you approach your climax and when it hits you see white, tossing your head back, the fingers in your mouth do little to muffle your screams and cries. woozi’s fingers continue to work at your core, gently swiping your clit every so often, making sure to rub the clear slick, pouring out of you, everywhere he can. 

once you’ve gotten through your high, woozi kisses your head, pets your sides and rocks you back and forth “you did so good,” he whispers in your ear. “i’m so proud of you, what a good baby,” he kisses your eyes and your nose before giving you a sweet kiss on the lips. you moan into the kiss and look up at him, a mischievous glint in your eye. “ji,” you whimper, letting him know you’re not finished. “i know baby,” he smiles “i’m not done either,”

[imababblekat]

Scars That Bind

**WARNINGS**: implied ptsd, scarring, angst (but w/ happy ending)

~~~~~~~~

@httpvomitello ,"Hi Hi, how are you? So I was wondering if you could do a one shot with Donnie x f! reader who is his girlfriend. It would be after the event of the second film, where she helps with the fight and everything. However, she ends up with a big scar on her back, but she never got around to revealing it to the others because she was ashamed to show it, and because of that, in those weeks she almost didn't let Donnie touch her, whether it was a hug or a kiss. Until one day, he accidentally sees the scar, and after her explanation, he comforts her and things get better.

A/N: oh boy this is much longer than i had planned it to be! hope y'all still enjoy though! im just gonna go cry in a corner after having written this ╮(T▽T)╭

~xXx~

It had been weeks, and yet the events of the Kraang attacks still effected you. Effected your life. It hadn't been as often as early on, but you still had nightmares. Still awoke sweaty and fearful from a nightmare that played out way differently and more devastating than how the real battle had ended victoriously. Well, mostly victoriously. Yes, the four ninja brothers you had helped and fought alongside went home with some new scars that they would no doubt proudly brandish, but the one you took home made you feel anything but proud. Anything but strong like how the turtles felt about theirs.

The large, healed but still freshly ugly wound across your middle back would be a forever reminder of how things could have gone terribly wrong for you that day. You were lucky to make it out alive in the end, but you had not only been physically scarred, but mentally as well.

What if you hadn't made it out of that slippery situation? What if it had happened and then Donnie, your everything, wouldn't have even known, to busy off fighting the big bad boss? How could you leave him, leave everyone, so suddenly in your foolishness to be more than what you were? A fragile human, trying to be a hero like her mutated boyfriend who had been training to fight his entire life?

The near death experience left you thinking and imaging the worst nearly every waking moment, and it seemed to effect more than just your lonesome. It had started to effect your relationship with Donnie. You can't remember the first moment it happened, but you remember every other time you had rejected his touches. The poor man couldn't get a kiss from you, much less a hug, and he had no idea why. The hurt in his eyes always tugged at your heart strings, but not as much as if he were to find out about the permanent alteration to your body.

If he found out, he would surely blame himself for not being there to protect you. Something you wanted him to not do. He along with his super brothers had more pressing things to be worried about, not a single human when they had the whole of New York on their shoulders. Your horrific dreams of death had also instilled in you that very great possibility of just how much danger you truly were in being with them. Yes, it was something that you had all known. April, Casey, and even Vern were just as in likely danger simply by being friends with the turtles, but no one really realizes the weight of something till it comes crashing down on them. Like it had to you.

If one day something happened to you, you didn't want to leave behind a deeply heartbroken and changed Donnie. Making distance would surely make such a casualty easier to deal with if there was nothing no longer there right?

Right?

You chocked on a sob, eyes screwed shut with clasped hands against your reddened face. The staggered cry quietly echoed off your bathroom walls, the only other sound being the slight slush of water in the tub you had planned to get into before you had caught a glance of the cursed marking on your back in the mirror. Now, you sat on the edge, trying your best to reason with your recent actions, but your heart and subconscious knew the truth and would not let you get away so easily.

Images of Donnie's hurt face only a couple hours ago still projected freshly in your mind. The pain in his eyes when you stepped back from his open embrace and rejected his goodbye kiss before you departed for home. You've seen the genius sad before, but never had you seen him so dejected. Knowing that you were the cause, hurt even more.

"But it's for his own good.", you sobbed aloud.

Than why did it feel so wrong?

Suddenly, something had fumbled and hit the tiled floor loudly, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin as you swiftly turned on the edge of the tub to see the last person you wanted to in this exact moment.

There, standing in the entrance straight as a pillar and eyes so wide they might pop out of his head, was Donatello. He had come to return back your phone, that of which he had called deciding it was finally time to talk about your standoff behavior towards him when it rang from the lair lounge. Now though, a call to work out the reason was no longer warranted, the off color patch of new skin and flesh on your back still crystal clear in his mind.

"I. . .", Donnie faltered, one usually a dictionary of speech, now speechless.

You on the other hand, were much more reactive. Your heart picking up pace, as you were quick to grab your towel and wrap it around, stepping out of your forgotten bath and racing to get out of this situation.

"I-I wondered if I had forgotten that, thanks Don, you can go-"

You had tried and failed to push your way past Donnie after swiftly grabbing your phone off the bathroom floor, but the turtle in purple was much faster and had grabbed hold of your arm just as you entered the hallway.

"How. . .how long have you. . .", Donnie swallowed, still struggling to find the words.

You felt your heart drop in your chest seeing the agony in Donnie's knowledgeable gaze.

"Donnie, please. . .", you mutter barely above a whisper, lip beginning to quiver.

"When you said you went to the hospital to check on a friend, did you really go for yourself?", he questioned, brows furrowed as he looked down at you, but you were careful to avoid his gaze.

You tried to pull your arm from his grasp, but Donnie held firm. He wasn't letting you go this time.

"(Y,n), please, I'm just trying to understand."

"There is nothing to understand.", you gritted out, angry with yourself for the tears that threatened to spill once again.

"How could you say that? You have a-"

"I know!", you finally snapped, glare flashing up towards Donatello.

Said turtle was stunned, but soon relaxed his expression, slowly letting go of your arm to take a step back. You cursed yourself internally, looking back to your hallway's carpet and holding yourself tight. A moment of tense silence befell the both of you, neither speaking and both refusing to look at the other. Your heart ached, and so did his, but it was not you who apologized first.

With a tight throat, Donnie was first to speak quietly.

"I'm sorry. . ."

"Don't say that.", you thought to yourself, another stinging pang shooting straight through your chest. Fighting back the urge to cry, you shook your head, chancing a glance at your slumped boyfriend.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. It's just. . ."

Donnie looked up just as you looked down the hall, but your gaze was else where. It was a look he was all to familiar with, one he'd seen after terrifying incidents he and his brothers had experienced.

"Is that why you've been so distant?"

By that, you knew Donatello meant your scar.

The reference broke you, nodding as you started to sob and weep, new tears making new streaks down your face. Donnie muttered a quiet 'oh', opening his arms as you quickly crossed the short distance to fall against his plastron. The moment his strong arms wrapped around you, your heart had exploded, cries racking your body as you sobbed loudly, not caring if the neighbors heard. It had been so long since you had embraced each other, since you had been this close to the person you fell so deeply in love with, that the sensation of Donnie holding you felt as though you had finally returned home after an arduous journey across rough seas.

The entire time you cried Donnie stood cradling you, rubbing your arms softly and murmuring quiet whispers of "its okay" and "let it out" against the top of your messy hair. Neither of you knew how much time had passed, Donnie undoubtedly willing to hold you up if your legs no longer could, but soon you had calmed, only letting out shaking breaths and a few soft sobs here and there. Once you felt you had regained enough strength you gingerly used Donnie's strong plastron as leverage to push your self back, just enough to still remain close but also peer up into his worried gaze.

"I'm sorry Donnie. I never wanted to hurt you. I was so scared about how something happening to me would effect you, when I've been causing you that pain this entire time. I'm so, so sorry Donnie.", you choked out, feeling as though you were ripping off a band-aid and at the same time having heavy weights lifted from your shoulders.

"Oh, (y,n).," Donnie muttered, reaching up to move a strand of hair from your sticky, tear stained face. "I only wish I had realized sooner what you were going through. You shouldn't have faced this alone. I should have been there to help."

You bit your bottom lip, shaking your head slowly.

"No Donnie, that's exactly part of why I acted the way I did. I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened."

Donnie's grip on you tightened, a pit forming in his chest. That scar. It grabbed him by the throat and had him in a choke hold the second he stepped into your bathroom. When had you gotten it during the Kraang attack? Were you alone the whole time? How did you get such a wound?

Donatello had to be quick to stop his thoughts before they spiraled into picturing unsavory images of just how exactly you had been hurt. He hated it, this revelation that something seriously bad had happened to the person he loved and he wasn't there to do anything about it. If he'd lost you, he'd surely would have lost himself.

Leaning forward with tightly shut eyes, holding back his own tears for your sake, Donnie's lips pressed firmly to your forehead before slowly pulling back. His beautiful gold eyes found yours, a comforting smile gracing his features as you tiredly peered back at him inquisitively.

"Sorry, dove. I can't say that I won't, but I promise I'll try to as long as you promise me something."

"Anything, Donnie."

"Promise me that you'll always remember I'm here for you. That you can come to me about anything, and to please let me help fight your battles with you, just as you so bravely have done for me."

Your lips formed into a smile, the first genuine one in who knows how long. Your head fell against Donnie's strong chest once more, your arms squeezing him this time and feeling your soul being filled with a warm, positive feeling for once as the tallest ninja turtle returned your embrace with just as much love.

"I promise.", you spoke just above where Donnie's heart lay protected by plastron, the feeling of another gentle, loving kiss being placed against the top of your hair.

~xXx~

[wosoragebaiter69]

but i didn't did pour the whiskey

barça femeni x reader

overview: they said getting over addiction wasn't easy, what about when no one knows? what about when relapse happens after a whole year?

A/N: my requests are sitting... but I can't get to them and im really sorry, ive been so busy atm and dont got much modivation for em'

TW: alcohol addiction, self-hatred, relapse, course language, actual detail instead of me brushing over it

!! viewer discretion is advised, i suggest only mature audiences read this !!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In all honesty, you'd seen the signs. You'd known the inevitable was coming. The feelings of urge that you'd felt a year ago when trying to stop. You had stopped though, so you ignored it. Then it became more real. To the blank stares at the crates in the stores, rather than the hatred you harboured before after finally being ‘better’.

To walking and judging if you should buy it or not.

To blinking tears out of your eyes, wondering why you'd think that in the first place.

Because why would you, you were better now. Right? That's what you'd told yourself anyways.

It kept amplifying over the course of a week. Until you couldn't take it, until everything you'd worked so hard for for the past year came crashing down. All those memories of countless nights pacing, crying, yelling over a stupid fucking substance fade away.

Guilt. That's all there is. Guilt.

Guilt for betraying your past self who had cried for hours, who felt like she was going psycho over not having a single drink.

But, you can't find it in yourself to stop drinking it. It's just one beer, how harmful could it be? Said by the words of a true fucking alcoholic.

So, you do the only thing you can think of and cry. Cry until your face is numb, your throat burning with every breath, cry until your lungs can't take in any oxygen anymore.

Cry until you feel like you've felt something.

Then when you did stop crying what did you do? The only option you thought you had. Drink more.

- - - - -

You knew you looked like shit, you felt like it too. Your face puffy from the numerous breakdowns the night before, your eyes red from the tears that had an endless flow, dark rings under your eyes from the restless 3 hour sleep you'd got.

Also not to mention the headache you'd acquired. Knowing that only last year if you'd drunk this much, you'd only start to feel something. That's not something to be proud of.

You try your hardest to make yourself look even the slightest bit presentable, getting rid of the puffy face with a shower and taking paracetamol to take away the ache in your skull.

This would do enough to convince them you were fine, it's not like you were the loudest or most obnoxious person on the team. Preferring to observe everything with a smile.

What you didn't consider? Your captains. You're only 22 so even if you're techincally an adult, they're still over 7 years older than you.

So you walk into the lockeroom for training, silently making your way to your cubby as usual. Until, you feel a tug on your sleeve. Alexia is standing there, worry etched into her features.

"You ok? It looks like you've barely slept." Her voice is low and quiet, something you were eternally grateful for.

"Yeah, just a rough night. Thanks capi." You don't lie, but you don't tell the full truth either. She can sense this but doesn't say anymore, allowing you to go back to getting ready.

You take the time to rethink of the previous night, the regret you'd felt immediately after taking the first sip. But, the feeling of being unable to stop.

No matter how much you'd told yourself it was nothing, you know this isn't the end.

You push the thoughts away, clearing your mind of any thoughts before walking out onto the field ready for training.

- - - - -

It was the same people you saw watching you; Alexia, Marta and Mapi. It wasn't every second but enough to showcase they knew something was wrong but just didn't know what.

You had joined in the summer from your old club in Italy. No one knew of the past you'd had with alcohol. It's not like you made an effort to tell them either, they respected your choices not to drink when going out and you didn't need to bring up topics that were from before even moving to Barcelona.

Maybe if they knew, you'd have someone to confide it.

Somehow you'd managed to hide it from your old team as well, but considering the close relationships that Barcelona had with each other you doubted it would be shrugged off as easily.

When training was finally over, you were quick to slip away. As the thoughts and need of what caused you in this melancholic state start to reappear in your mind.

Not now, why after so long did you have to collapse now? When the peak of your career could potentially be around the corner.

You want to survive like a normal person, you want to be able to do things without relying on a fucked up liquid. Why did it have to be you?

And why?

Why is the only thing you can think of to soothe these thoughts, alcohol?

- - - - -

You stare blankly at the open carton, hesitation as you ponder if you should give in or not. Should you drink it? Part of your mind says yes, part of you yearns for it. The rational side says no, and to stop before it's too late.

But wasn't it already?

So you give in. The burning down your throat a painfully familar comfortality.

In a depressing way it makes you more aware of your surroundings, the beer bottles scattered in the room. Liquid all over the floor and on your things. It bothers you, but you can't bring yourself to clean it.

So you sulk, going over past memories. You'd never considered yourself a sad drunk, always being happier and finding a way to goof about while drinking. Then, very rarely toward the end of recovery getting angry. Never sad though.

Times change, people change. You thought you'd changed, but that kind of addiction? It never seemed to leave. Waiting until you're vulnerable to attack. Like an incurable disease.

Before you really comprehend it, the whole box of beers you'd bought yesterday are empty and strown across the floor.

You reach a point of feeling nothing, a numbing feeling brought by guilt, the alcohol making everything seem hazy. Your phone is ringing, but you can't bring yourself to answer. You can't bring yourself to care.

- - - - -

Knocking at your door brings you out of the limboed state you're in. You figure they'll leave soon, and the knocking stops after a minute. Until the door opens revealing the three who had been watching you in the morning.

Alexia is the first to you, the others take in the state of your apartment and walk around elsewhere.

"Hey." It's all she says, but enough for tears to fall from your eyes. You can't bare to look at her face, so you keep your eyes glued to the floor.

"Come on, look at me." She uses her hands to guide your chin so you're looking straight at her.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." She pauses, "Let's sober you up first." You don't argue, and follow her orders. Exhausted, you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow.

- - - - -

Waking up was easier than you'd thought it would be, your head not pounding as much as in the morning. It made sense though considering you'd drank less than the night before. There were pills on the side table with a glass of water which you take easily.

The sun is setting so you must have slept for a couple of hours by this point. When you walk into the living room you notice all the rubbish gone, the floors are clean and there's no reminisince of beer anywhere. Alexia, Marta and Mapi are talking quietly amongst themselves and look up once they realise you're awake.

"Come, sit." Mapi pats next to her. You nod silently walking over.

"Would you mind explaining to us what happened? I know you’ve said before don't drink, so this is very new. If you don't want to talk that's also fine but I don't want to see you hurt." Alexia says, she doesn't pry but she does make her point known.

"Ok, but please can you do no talking while I explain? I'm not sure how much I can take if I don't explain it all in one." You're not sure why you opened up so easily, maybe because you desperately craved for someone. Anyone.

"Last year, I was an alcoholic and I can't tell you really when it started. It was to take all the weight and pressure off my shoulders originally, but it turned worse. I just kept drinking regularly and when I tried to settledown, I realised I couldn't. So I didn't stop. It worked for me."

"Then as the season moved on I realised I did desperately need to do something about it but I was just so scared of what people would say to me. How would they react?"

“So instead of getting proper help I did it myself.”

"I got rid of all traces, didn't go out as much. It was horrible. I thought I was going crazy. I wasn't ok at all. I'd obviously relapsed a couple times when trying by myself to recover but it gave me more determination. I'd say it took like 3 months before I truly felt like I was clean."

"Then, I'd had the oppurtunity to play here and it's like everything went away. I should've known better." You sigh.

"Known what? Did you know you were going to relapse again?" Marta asks carefully.

"I saw the signs but ignored them, when I did give in... all I felt was regret, I still do. I think that's why I drank the rest if I'm going to be honest." You look away, not daring to look at any of them.

A pair of arms engulf you, large hands pushing your head to the persons chest.

"Listen to me, we can help you. You won't ever have to do this alone, not while I'm here ok? I don't know much about this, but I'll try. We all will." You start sobbing into her chest, clinging your fists tightly into her shirt. A way to thank them without words.

Because the belief they had in you made you feel like you could do it. Even in these drowning times.

—————————————————————————

i hope you enjoyed fic, this may not be accurate to everyone but this is my experience with battling addiction to alcohol and i write it because i too relapsed after a year recently

this was more for also for awareness and just know that you aren’t alone in anything, if you feel you need someone to talk to i’m always here :)

[lcvejoy]

speak now

wilbur soot x gn!reader

tw!: alcohol, throwing up, angst? hurt/comfort. kinda makes no sense; not proofread.

word count: 1,336

a/n: i hate this but i rlly just wanted to post bc i miss it. more stuff coming! this is just to get me back into the groove of writing and sharing lol. clearlyyyy i write too much angst im sorry i just thrive in it. ill write more fluff! expect more!

wilbur is lying on the vinyl kitchen flooring when he calls.

he’s wine drunk and crying like an overtired toddler. wails of grief and laboured breaths, clutching his phone with one hand and gripping his hair with the other. the cold surface of the floor giving him some relief for his overheated body.

“hey, you’ve reached y/n! i must be super busy, but leave a message and i’ll get back to you when i can!” he’s heard that voicemail hundreds of times this week. he loves hearing your voice, even if only through a phone speaker.

“baby?” he sniffles, wiping his snot on his sleeve, “hey darling, hey y/n.”

a shaky breath, “listen i-“ he looks at at the ceiling, silently cursing himself, “i need you to tell me where you are, okay?” he catches a sob before it escapes, trying to display strength. “we’re all so worried about you. i-i’m so worried about you.” he’s dizzy, the room is spinning now. he reaches his hand out to lay flat against the floor in an attempt to steady himself.

“just call me. or text one of us. anyone. w-we just want to know you’re okay.” wilbur can no longer hide his misery. his voice is wobbly and it cracks at the beginning of each sentence.

“i love you, y/n. i-i love you so much it hurts.” he begins to feel the bile rise in his throat, “come home, okay?” he hangs up. he gets up from the floor on shaky legs, stumbling his way to the bathroom, and lets out of the contents of his stomach. he’s coughing and spitting, hugging the toilet and resting his head on the side of the seat.

he flushes the toilet and scoots back to lay his back against the opposite wall. he leans his head back, closing his eyes, before crumbling again. loud sobs, fat tears, hiccups and laboured breaths. the pain and grief hits him like a train.

there was an argument between you two the night you left. he hasn’t seen you since, and nobody has heard from you. your phone, however, has remained on - proven by the fact that wilbur has been able to leave you voicemails and each of his texts deliver. both, however, go unanswered and unread.

he is riddled with guilt - his brain playing every possible scenario. hurt, kidnapped, murdered, lost, alone. although, his hopeful side prays you’re at your parents house and you just don’t want to talk to anyone.

he picks up his phone and calls again. he leaves more voicemails. he does this for hours until he’s sober with a pounding headache and a broken heart.

until, finally, “wilbur, please stop calling.”

you answer. he’s frozen, sitting up from his leant over position quickly.

“y/n?” he’s convinced he’s hallucinating, that this isn’t real, that you didn’t actually pick up your phone.

“i’m fine, wil. i’m safe. please stop calling and go to sleep.” you seem annoyed, your voice is heavy with exhaustion; like he’s woken you up multiple times with his constant calls.

“w-where are you?” he’s frantic.

“i’m safe.” you respond, sternly.

“stop calling, wil.” it comes out like a warning.

“are you going to come back?” he asks, the emotions bubbling in his gut, “please, y/n. please come home.”

he hears you sigh. he holds his breath as he waits for your answer.

“i’m sorry i worried you” you began, “i just needed some space. i’m coming home in a couple days.”

wilbur falls apart with relief. he cries without the pain and grief present.

“we will talk more about it when i come back. just-“ you pause.

“just give me some space, okay? get some sleep.” you speak gently.

he nods, wiping the tears spilling down his cheeks.

“i love you” he sobs.

“i love you, too” you whisper. you hang up, and wilbur cries more.

two days later, wilbur hears keys jingling at his front door as he sits on the couch. he rises to his feet so quickly that he stumbles slightly, nearly tripping. he watches the lock switch, the door handle twist, and the door begin to slowly swing open. he’s frozen as he watches, wide-eyed.

you walk in, a small bag in hand. you haven’t yet noticed wilbur’s presence as you lock the door and remove your shoes, setting your bag down on the floor next to you.

finally, you look up. you freeze upon meeting wil’s eyes. you both stand there - staring in each others eyes, mouth slightly agape, feet planted in place.

wilbur’s mouth opens as if he’s going to say something, but the words get caught in his throat. he gulps, feeling the emotions rise to his eyes.

“hi wil” you break the silence with a small whisper.

his lip quivers, a tear falls down his cheek.

“hi” his voice cracks as he whispers back.

there’s a beat of silence as you both remain solid in your places. wilbur is silently crying, staring at you. you can feel your eyes welling with tears as you speak again; “i’m sorry i left” you begin, “i just needed some space. i should’ve told you where i was going. that was incredibly selfish of me.” you look down, your fingers anxiously playing with the hem of your shirt. you swallow before beginning again, “it killed me to not talk to you, but we both needed time apart.” you look up to meet wilbur’s eyes again. he has tears steadily streaming down his cheeks, his mouth is slightly open. you are finally taking in just how broken he looks; his hair is a mess, he has dark eye bags as if he hasn’t slept since the night you left, his skin is pale and dry. you feel like the shittiest human being on earth for having caused him this pain. you quickly wipe the tear that falls from your eye.

wilbur gulps again before speaking in a hushed voice and broken tone; “i never want to go that long wondering if you’re okay again. w-wondering if i’ll ever see you again. i-“ a choked sob leaves his lips. he breathes deeply before continuing, “i was s-so scared that the only time i would ever hear your voice again was through your voicemail message.”

you can’t stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks as he speaks. you nod as you look down.

“i’m so sorry” you crumble, both of you letting out soft sobs and hitches of sharp breaths.

“let me hold you” wilbur speaks up, “please, l-let me hold you.”

all you can do is nod. the words won’t form. so you do; you nod as he quickly steps forward.

and as he reaches you, he pulls you into him. his hands wrap themselves around your middle as his head buries into your neck. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull your face into his chest, breathing him in. you can feel his hot tears on your skin and his body jump as he lets out quiet sobs.

you stand there, in the living room of your shared apartment, holding each other and crying together for an unmeasurable amount of time. until eventually, the sobbing subsides and all that is heard is sniffles.

wilbur pulls away from the hug and instead, brings his hands to your face and rests his forehead against yours. you hold his forearms and close your eyes. you missed this - you missed being close to him, feeling him, smelling him. you missed him.

he missed you equally as much.

“never again” he whispers, as his thumbs begin moving against your cheeks.

“never again” you repeat in an equally quiet voice.

you both smile slightly. wilbur moves his head up to leave a long, lingering kiss on your forehead before returning his forehead to yours.

a silent vow of forgiveness, a silent vow of “i’m sorry.”

and yet, there is a quiet but heard vow of a promise to never let this happen again.

[seoktized]

ok but just think about THIS with me: https://x.com/kinulta/status/1758079004891119867?t=1H0L1g9crSojitM9R7EE8w&s=19

this is SO woozi... he hasn't touched you properly for exactly 2 weeks and you are so so needy... so on a normal day at the studio you go to check it out if he is eating, he simply decides to take a break. He sits with you on the couch, talks a little, until kisses automatically appear. At first, small kisses with smiles on both sides, but everything goes wrong when he puts you on his lap. the pink mouth attacking yours and you can't hold back, letting out a soft moan between the contact. you want him SO MUCH, but you don't force him to do anything or demand anything from him, because you know how busy he is. HOWEVER, he surprises you when he takes out his own cell phone and starts recording a video. You find it strange, but then you understand the real function. he asks you to sit on the floor, so that the camera captures his pretty face well ☝🏻 and his only demand is that you stay quiet. Nothing else. like a good girl you obey. you're still so turned on and you only realize how much when he has his fingers in you and his hand over your mouth, working to really keep you still. the little body that hasn't felt this for so many days is overloaded and that's why you cum faster than normal, letting a squeaky, sly noise leave your lips when the orgasm comes... and you think he'll probably finish and go back to work, but once again he surprises you by continuing to play with your sensitive clit and your intimacy, It's SO MUCH, your legs are shaking nonstop and you you can hear the wet noises throughout the studio. you know it’s too much but you still leave him there because you know he probably needed it more than you did.and only after the fourth orgasm does he stop, you're exhausted and he hasn't used anything other than his fingers. your mind is blank and you desperately need a hug... He kisses your forehead and fixes your hair, saying that you are a good girl and obeyed him just as he asked. So he stops the recording and whether he'll fuck you afterwards or not... it's up to you, love

(IM SORRY, I'M JUST OBSESSED WITH JIHOON AND THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR DAYS, PLEASE HELP ME)

— with love and longing to send things here, you anon 🎀 <3.

MY LOVE 🎀 ANON !!! I MISSED U!! but omg ?!? i’m dizzy -.-

link (nsfw)

woozi gets so busy and almost never has time for intimacy :(( he knows how needy you can get so one day he invites you to his studio n everything seems all innocent until he brings you over to the couch n sits you in his lap.

his lips are all over your exposed skin, making you sigh because it’s been so long. he stops for a minute to prop up his phone, quickly pressing the record button before going back to focus on you..

he’d slowly peel off your shorts and your panties, feeling a little bad at how needy you were getting.. :( you’re moaning and begging for him when he shushes you, telling you to be a good girl and stay quiet for him.

when he dips his fingers into your wetness your try so hard to be quiet but he just feels too good!! woozi chuckles before he placed his hand over your mouth, muffling any sounds that could escape. he watches how you squirm around from the amount of pleasure he was giving you.

his fingers quickly bring you to your orgasm and you cum all over his fingers, a loud moan muffled by his hand. he’s talking you through it while you whine from the overstimulation, but he’s in your ear asking if you can give him one more.. saying it’s been so long since he’s seen you like this :( woozi can’t get enough!! he has you cumming over n over again, making a mess on his fingers :3

[mysicklove-main]

A/N: Tanjiro writing to his long distance partner bc thats so cute and im in love with him

My Beloved,

I feel as though a part of me is missing without you by my side. I find myself constantly looking for you, even though it’s no use. Oh how dearly I wish you were here. But even so, I feel at peace knowing you are at home and well rested. Safe from harm.

I can’t contain my questions. So please make do with my ramblings.

How are you? Are you sleeping well? Do you feel lonely at home? Have you been keeping busy? Has Shinobu been visiting you? Where Has your hair grown out since my absence? You haven’t been going out at night, right? Is your finger still bare?

I’ve been growing quite worried with the time apart. I feel as though you may find another if I leave for too long.

I’m sorry, I know you would scold me for thinking these things. I wish desperately that I could hear your scolding. But I can’t stop the thoughts that creep on me in the night.

Nezuko is doing fine. She’s getting stronger by the day. She misses you immensely. It’s strange to see how uneasy she is without you. I don’t blame her. I wonder, if you were

Inosuke and Zenitsu are also getting stronger. I hope I can keep up with them. I train day in and out hoping to not fall behind. I think I am getting stronger. I have been working on Hinokami Kagura. It drains my body, but still I push forward. I have to master it, even if it is such a slow process.

At night I find myself daydreaming. Maybe one day you could call your husband lover a hashira. Would we live together peacefully? Or would I be gone on missions like these? I don’t think I could bear to leave you for long. It’s so hard t But I am getting ahead of myself. I am only doing this to save Nezuko. And of course to protect you! I don't need to become a hashira.

I hope my crow has been delivering the gifts properly. I wish I could see the way your eyes light up when you receive them. I’m trying not to let the separation get to me, but when I think about these moments it’s always so hard.

I’m getting distracted again, I apologize my love. The crow should have delivered you the jewelry box. A kind woman sold it to me, and please don’t worry! I promise that it was fairly priced! I hope through its journey that it didn’t get chipped. But I know you don’t care about those things. Either way, I hope you use it well.

My beloved, I do have a favor to ask of you. I hope this is not too much to ask, but the same woman from the market told me about something that cannot seem to leave my head. She explained that many soldiers from the Meiji period used to tie fabric from their lover's kimono around the hem of their sword. It was a symbol of good luck, and that they will always be together no matter the distance between them.

I thought it was…romantic. It made my cheeks burn at the thought. I really I would love if I understand completely if you don’t want to tear a part off. But I can’t explain the joy I would feel if you did. I would treasure it dearly.

I have been avoiding the real reason I wrote this letter and I can’t go on without saying it. Oh, my love, I miss you dearly. I miss the scent of you. I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss waking up to you every morning, that vision never seems to leave my mind. I miss your voice, your touch. I desperately crave it.

I’m sorry. A man shouldn’t act like that. Tengen left his wives for months, and was completely fine. I wish I could do the same. It’s been five weeks and the fight seems to dwindle in me without you here.

I’m trying though. I won’t give up. I will make it home to you and then I swear I’ll never leave you again.

A couple more weeks until I am home. The thought of you in my arms once again makes me feel dizzy with need. I will come back safely for you.

So please, my everything, please take care of yourself. I can’t bear the thought of you being unwell. Please stay safe and don’t walk alone at night. Please eat lots and sleep well.

I will write to you next week with more updates. I promise the next one will be less about me and more about you. I want to hear everything about how you are doing.

I await for your reply, and hopefully the fabric.

I love you more than words can describe.

Forever yours,

Tanjiro

[reidmania]

YOU KNEW when mating with neteyam would mean that he would be busy, a lot. you knew that he would be gone for days at a time, and return home late, and leave early.

you knew the chance for you two to get a minute alone would be difficult, almost impossible. it had been over a month since the two of you had last had an hour together.

you tried to ignore it, the feeling that burnt into your stomach as it seemed everyone had been more important, despite already knowing this was how it was going to be.

you were in your pod, neteyam — surprisingly hadn’t left yet, he was in the corner, finishing some work — before having to leave for work, while you were changing for the day.

as you bend down, you’re suddenly overtaken with dizziness, stumbling back. until ur against the wall, regaining your balance. you open your eyes to look at neteyam, his eyes never teared from his work, it made you frown, but shake it off.

you tried to ignore the headache, the feeling over your body— it was like it was on fire. “tey” you mutter, that gets his attention, he had missed you and was trying to finish this as soon as possible so he could spend time with you before you both had to leave.

“ma y/n” he said, smiling softly. you give him a half hearted smile back, before reaching down to grab a bag you had weaved, “i am leaving.” you say, wanting to go to the hut as soon as possible, it had gotten to the point, being around neteyam when his focused seemed to be on anything else, had caused an ache in your heart.

his smile dropped, furrowing his eyebrows. “it is still early” he said, he was almost done, cursing himself for not working faster. you just nod, placing a jar of herbs in your bag. “i have no reason to stay, may as well start early” you mutter, not meaning for it to come across as harsh as it did.

“actually i was hoping- don’t worry, its okay, have a good day yawne” he said, standing up, figuring if you wanted to stay you would. he walked towards you, hoping to maybe get a quick kiss before you left, but you slipped past him.

“bye tey, see you later” you said, his heart twisted, was this what it had been like for you.

the real reason you had left early was because you wanted mo’at to check you, walking into the healing pod you were overfilled with the sense of nausea.

“my child, it is early.” mo’at said, eying you carefully, “you are sick?” she asked, you just shrugged, stumbling over to a seat, you felt as if, if you didn’t sit, you were going to pass out.

“tell me what you are feeling” mo’at said, as she poked your arms with something. you hummed, thinking carefully before answering. “not hungry, the smell of food makes me feel sick, i have been getting horrible headaches, and i feel dizzy a lot.” you say, softly.

“are you eating?” she said, you shook your head, “i can’t, everything i eat i vomit up”

she ran a few more ‘test’ like things, but in the end she was slightly confused herself. “i am not to sure, but it should only last a week at most, but it is dangerous, you are overworked, you must take the rest of the week off, and im afraid, neteyam will as well” she says, leaving you confused.

“neteyam? why” you ask, tilting your head.

“you’re weak. you cannot leave resting. i am worried that if you do to much it will get worse. neteyam must take care of you, if he cannot, which he can, but if worst comes to worst, you stay with me, i care for you” she said, despite knowing neteyam would take a million days off for you.

“okay” you nod, “now go home and get rest, do you need assistance getting back?” she asked, you just shake your head, just silently hoping neteyam had left.

much to your dismay, as you pull the opening back you find neteyam sitting, but also jake and neytiri sitting at the table as well. they look up as you enter.

“oh! y/n, neteyam said you had left early for work.” jake said, you felt sick all over again, “uh yeah, i just forgot some stuff.” you lie, i mean there was things you could grab, but you hadn’t actually forgotten anything.

but there was no way you could ask neteyam to take a few days off to look after you with his parents here. “its good to see you sweetie, it has been a while” neytiri says, walking up to you to brush your hair behind your shoulders, you smile.

as she examines you, she furrows her eyebrows, “are you sick, child?” she asked, neteyam’s ears perk, looking over. “not at all, i feel great!” you smile, “just very busy, a little stressful” you laugh softly, moving away to collect a few jars.

neteyam’s mind seems to ease at your words, going back to the work with his father. “does y/n know?” jake asks, neteyam furrows his eyebrows before his eyes widen.

“know what?” you ask, turning to the two men. “i was going to tell you tonight! we are arranging a trip, a hunting trip,- my dad want’s me to lead it” you knew this was a big opportunity for him, you smile. “that’s great tey!! im so happy for you” you say softly.

“we are planning on leaving tomorrow” jake says, ur smile drops a little, before returning, but neytiri catches on. “that is great, very soon”

neteyam can’t help but frown at how excited you are, he was too- he was over the moon. but he wanted to spend time with you, “how long will it be?” you were thinking a one night, one day thing.

“a week!” jake said, patting his son’s shoulders with pride, neteyam smiles up at him, “oh” you mutter, furrowing your eyebrows, before just smiling, “that is great.” you say, feeling a little betrayed that neteyam hadn’t talked to you about this, yes he was out during the days but he returned to you everynight, that wasn’t even the problem.

its the fact it was tomorrow, for a week. and he was planning to tell you tonight when whatever you reaction was it didn’t really matter, it was already set.

“we must get to work,” jake said, patting neteyam’s arms once more, neytiri sighed, as the two boys got up, jake walked over to place a soft kiss on neytiri’s lips, before walking out.

neteyam looked between you and his mother, no matter how long it had been, it was still so weird to do anything like that in front of his mom, she knew it as well.

she sighed, following jake outside to leave you and neteyam for a minute. you were fighting tears because of the pain in your head, but either way you just smiled at him.

“im sorry, it all happened really fast” neteyam said, grabbing onto your hand, you just shake your head. “its fine, tey. i get it. i am really happy for you, this is amazing”

“will you be okay? i told dad that when we get back, i want to spend more time with you. its just a week, then i promise-”

“tey it is fine, have fun, you deserve this”

neteyam left the next morning, you were awake, sitting up in bed, in the early morning, “i made you breakfast when you are ready” neteyam said, you were confused as to why he had been so affectionate the last day or two, after being so busy for a month straight, was it because he was leaving for a week.

“thank you tey” you mutter, pulling the weaved blankets higher onto you, neteyam didn’t get home until very late last night, you weren’t awake when he got home. he looked outside, to see the time.

“i have to go, yawne. you sure you’re going to be alright?” he asked, you just laugh. “when have i ever not been okay on my own” you say, laughing softly, he smiled.

“love you” he said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips, he pulled away quickly. “you are hot darling”

“thank you i try” you tease playfully, despite the nausea coming back to you as the scent of neteyam’s cooking fill your senses, it was nothing against his cooking, he made great food, it was just food in general.

he smiled at your comment before shaking his head. “im going, ma’ y/n” he said and just like that he was gone.

three days had passed since neteyam left, you had seemed to only have been getting worse, your body was on fire, the headaches the came were so bad to the point you were crying, covering your eyes because the tinest bit of light irritated you.

everytime you stood up you felt unbalanced, you tried to eat the breakfast neteyam made you on the day he left, but it ended with you vomiting it up. you constantly felt dizzy and weak. unable to do anything.

you tried to sick to your normal daily routine with the minus of work, you hadn’t mentioned to neteyam you were sick, or anything about what mo’at had said, and you had mentioned to mo’at that neteyam was unable to care for you.

well he was able, you just didn’t ask. you hated asking for help, thats why you stayed in your hut.

but you were getting worse and worse.

it lasted another two days, the day neteyam returned had to have been the worse out of them all. as soon as you stood up, you were down, passed out.

neytiri had been helping in the healers tent due to mo’ats request. “it has been so busy without y/n” she said, which had confused neytiri.

“y/n hasn’t been working?” she asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“you do not know? y/n is sick, horribly sick. i do not know what is the matter, but i worry. neteyam is looking after her” mo’at said, neytiri’s eyes widened.

“neteyam is on a hunting trip, he has been all week” she said, mo’at turned. “please check the girl” she asked, neytiri nodded, it was so in your nature to not ask for help, she saw the way your face dropped , how hot you felt.

she rushed to your shared hut with neteyam, she noticed the hunting party return, neteyam was laughing along with his dad, any other day she would’ve taken the time to appreciate the moment, but she rushed into your home.

she gasped as she saw you, passed out on the ground, she also noticed the face your shoulders was bleeding, she looked at the bed frame neteyam had build, your blood stained on it, she figured you hit that on your way down.

despite that she leant down, picking your body up, she rushed to carry you back to mo’at, unfortunately, neytiri had caught jakes attention.

then she caught neteyam’s, and within a minute, both boys were at her side, neteyam’s eyes wide as he took your body from her, asking what had happened, jake was just as confused.

“she has been sick neteyam! apparently she was supposed to ask you to take the week off to look after her-mo’ats request but she never did!” neytiri said, as they rushed to mo’ats pod.

“stupid child” were mo’ats words as she saw your body, you were pale, bleeding, you looked sick.

neteyam was worried sick, how hadn’t he noticed, why didn’t you tell him? did you think he would say no? had he made you feel like that?

“what is the matter with her? is she okay?” he asked, placing you down softly. mo’at scowled at him, “you did not notice your mate ill!!” she slapped his hand away from you, despite knowing he was busy and you hadn’t told him.

“i know- i know, i am sorry. i am here now/ what is the matter?” he asked, full of guilt and responsibility, wanting nothing more than to care for you like he shouldve from the beginning.

“i think she has a cold, but she has been overworking herself, that is the reason for her passing out. she needs to be cared for.” she said? coming up with a summary,

hill

“take her home, you are both to have time off until she is completely healed and healthy and has been approved by me, do you understand me?” mo’at said sternly, eyes falling over the three sullies in the room, eyes stern on jake, telling him there eas nothing he could argue, neteyam would be staying home.

“take her home, wait for her to wake” she said, before passing him a jar, “put this on her chest if she isn’t awake within half an hour” his grandmother scolded, still in shock that he hadn’t noticed his mate was sick.

neteyam did as he was told, carrying you bridal style back to your hut, placing you on the bed, he took time to admire you. you were thin, sickly thin, your eyes were covered by dark circles, your skin was burning hot.

thankfully, before the half an hour was up, you had awoken, although in that time it took for you to awake, neteyam was in his own head, pacing the hut.

how had he missed that? how did he miss that his mate was ill, so ill to the point you had passed out.

why didn’t you tell him — he wondered. had he been so distant and busy that you no longer felt comfortable coming to him? were you worried he would not take time off to care for you, it made him feel sick to his stomach.

although you being sick wasn’t his fault — the fact it had gotten so bad, was.

when you woke, neteyam was preparing a cup of water. you however, did not remember passing out, in your mind, you assumed you had taken a nap, hence why you were in bed. although there was a stinging pain in your shoulder, one you did not remember having, was this another part of the sickness.

you hadn’t even noticed your mate in the hut when you woke up, you shuffled in the bed, getting ready to stand up, however when you did you were overwhelmed with a wooziness.

“ma y/n” neteyam cursed as he turned around, placing the cup down on the table, he rushed over to you, helping to balance you out. “you mustn’t leave bed” he scolded.

you furrowed your eyebrows, when did he get back?

and why was he worrying so much, last time you checked he had no idea you were sick.

you discard his scold, despite staying in bed, maybe he was just tired snd wanted to cuddle. however you felt a tingle in your stomach, not a good one either.

you ignore it, you were good at that. “how was the trip tey” you ask as he settled next to you on the bed, you had missed his company, even if sometimes it felt like it didn’t exist.

he scowled at your, why were you acting like nothing was wrong. “it was fine, y/n” he said sternly, you frowned, why was he upset.

“what is wrong?” you ask, the look his was giving you made your chest ache, did you do something? was he upset you didn’t greet him when he returned — that must be it

“im sorry i didn’t greet you, i must’ve fallen asleep, i am so sorry tey, id love to hear all about your trip” you say, despite everything in you telling you to shut up, talking was so much effort.

he frowned even more, “i am not upset about that y/n” you frowned now, the pair of you a mix of frowning messes.

“what did i go then, nete” he wanted to cry at how pained your voice sounded, your face was pale and your eyes drained from colour, not holding the usual lint of happiness like normal.

“you didn’t tell me” he said, his voice hardly above a whisper, you tilted your head in confusion. “what? what didn’t i tell you?” you ask, mind fuzzy.

he sighed, shaking his head. his hands found yours softly, pulling you closer to him, despite the way your skin was burning his, he didn’t care.

“that you were sick y/n, you didn’t tell me” he said, you furrow your eyebrows before your eyes widen, before returning to their normal size, you felt like you could sleep for a whole week, your head felt heavy, your stomach felt tight, everything hurt.

despite that, you shrug, “it isn’t bad nete, i am okay” you nod, voice convincing, but its really not. neteyam knows you better then that, but even he is second guessing that — why didn’t he fucking know, you shouldn’t of had to tell him, he is your mate he should just know.

“why do you lie” he asks, eyes squinted as his eyebrows furrow in a mix of annoyance and confusion. you squint at him, “i am okay neteyam.” you say.

he grows frustrated. “you are not okay, y/n. if you were okay i would not have returned to you being passed out in my mothers arms because you have been sick.” he said.

you tilt your head in confusion, you had passed out once a few days ago, was that what he had been talking about? did he have to come home early.

“oh nete— im sorry i didn’t mean to ruin your trip!!” you say, eyes filling with heavy guilt, he shook his head. “you didn’t. i came home today to my mother carrying you to grandmother, because you had passed out”

a simple oh leaves your mouth, as even more guilt seeps in, he seems to notice your expression. he grips your hands tighter. “you did not tell me you were sick” he said.

you went to talk but he cut you off “you also didn’t tell me you were bed rested” he said, you frown at his words, already knowing what was coming next.

“you didn’t tell me i was supposed to take days off to care for you”

you just chew your lip nervously, he shakes his head as he looks at you, while you look anywhere but at him.

“why didn’t you tell me” his voice cracks mid sentence, it makes your heart clench in your chest, its hard to remember the last week, all you can really remember is vomiting multiple times, and crying about the headache.

“you were excited about your trip, this is a big deal for you, i just didn’t wanna ruin it” your voice is small, you words are soft, as they leave your lips.

“you already do so much, i didn’t want to be the one to take something fun away from you.. or put more on you” you admit, his heart breaks.

it takes everything in him not to curse at himself, for making you feel as if you couldn’t tell him.

he failed, “fuck” he curses under his breath. “my girl” he says, looking at your face as you look down at your hands.

he has to remove his hand from yours, grabbing your chin to force you to look at him.

“angel, you are my number one priority, every fucking day. everything i do is for you. i know — i have obviously done a shitty job of showing that, but you should’ve told me, i could’ve helped you, now youre ten times worse” he says, tears fill your tired eyes.

“im sorry tey” you say as a hot tear rolls down your cheek. he immediately shakes his head.

“no, youre not allowed to be sorry, ma y/n. i shouldve known, i am your mate and i didn’t know you were ill, i left you here alone sick”

“i shouldve told you”

he nods, “you should’ve.”

you look down, his hand moves from your chin to your jaw. holding your face in his hand. “but i an here now, no matter what”

[tricks-tickles]

Are You Happy?

sudden burst of inspo be like:

sorry i dropped off the face of the earth(ish) apparently im limited to three fics per fandom haha

anyway south park amirite

(also psa im bri ish so idk how american unis work so the boys r 18ish here but im p sure i didn't get anything disastrously wrong)

word count: 1459

pairing: Lee!Craig/Ler!Tweek

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Craig?” 

Tweek sat on his bed next to his boyfriend, anxiously tugging on the base of his shirt as he studied Craig’s expression. Despite being the stoic one of the two, he had a strangely tense look about him. 

“Yeah?” Craig said, fiddling with his fingers.

“Uh, are you- ACK, okay? You seem kind of n-nervous?” Tweek asked, twitching a little. 

“Oh, yeah I’m fine,” He responded, still looking at his hands, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“GAH- uh, because of your uni-university application?!” Craig had applied to the University of Colorado’s astrophysics course and was due to hear back at some point in the coming week. Although he had the grades for the course, he wasn’t sure about his personal essay and had been internally freaking out for a while. It was Saturday now, and his nerves were at an all-time high. He guessed it was starting to show.

“No.” He said, then paused, “Yes. I’m just worried I won’t get in.” Honesty is the best policy, or whatever.

“Of course you will!” Tweek said, winking out of anxiety. “You’re the- GAHAH- smartest guy I know!

Craig hummed, digging his feet into the bed. 

“I don’t know about that…” He muttered.

“And besides! Maybe they’re just BUSY! Or running late or s-something.” He said, screwing up his face in a twitch. 

“Maybe,” Craig said, unconvinced. “You’re lucky you don’t have to worry about this.” Tweek had taken a gap year to work at his parent's shop and figure out what he wanted to do with his life. If Craig was accepted then he would follow him to Boulder, or wherever he wanted to go. Tweek was sure he’d follow Craig to the ends of the earth.

“AH- don’t mention that! It’s WAY too much pressure!”

“Right,” Craig said, “Sorry.”

Tweek twitched anxiously. He had almost no experience in comforting people and was way out of his depth. Craig probably didn’t want to talk about it, and he wasn’t sure what else to do. He gently tugged on his hair, thinking about what Craig had done for him when he was anxious. Slowly, an idea formed. 

“Craig?” He said, again.

“Yeah?”

“Um, do you want me to- ACK- cheer you up or some-something?” 

He looked at Tweek, a little bemused.

“You can try,” Craig said, curious as to what he would do.

Tweek took a careful breath in, then shuffled closer to Craig and, shivering slightly, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Craig tensed, then sagged into his boyfriend's touch. Despite having been ‘together’ for around eight years, their relationship had only become real two years ago, and even still they were a little shy around each other. Tweek was too anxious to make the first move most of the time, and Craig had no idea how to, so they danced around each other until one of them stepped up. 

Craig had forgotten how comforting Tweek could be if he tried. When Stripe 5 had died Tweek’s hugs had been the only thing keeping him together. He sighed and shuffled closer to him, breathing in the smell of coffee. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Tweek worked up the courage to enact part two of his plan. He placed his spare hand on Craig’s side and began gently tracing his fingers along his hoodie. Craig stiffened again, jumping when Tweek’s fingers twitched against him. 

“Honey, what are you dohing?” He said, stifling a giggle when Tweek’s fingers crept toward his stomach. 

“Well, you remember when- GAH- I was f-feeling anxious about nothing a few weeks ago, and you asked me if you could cheer me up? And I said yes so you started t-tickling me and you didn’t stop until you thought I was happy? And I kept- AH- saying I was happy but you were like ‘I don’t believe you, honey.’ and it t-tickled really bad? Do you remember that?” While he spoke Tweek’s other arm slipped from around Craig’s shoulders, making him squeak and slide down the bed as Tweek started pinching his side. 

“Nohoho,” Craig said, trying to bring his knees up to protect his stomach. Tweek noticed and shifted till he was sitting on Craig’s thighs to keep them down.

“No?! You don’t r-remember? It was only a few weeks ago- GAH-, you must have a pretty bad memory.”

He started scratching Craig’s stomach, making him laugh properly.

“I rehemehembeher!” He cried, his hands torn between covering his face and pushing away Tweek’s hands. He settled on tugging the flaps of his hat till it covered his eyes.

“Oh! G-good. Then you remember that- AH- you kept teasing me too? You were like ‘Does this t-tickle, babe?’ ‘How about here?’ ‘Are you having fun? You sound like you’re having fun.’. So, Craig, I want to a-ask you: are you having fun?”

“Ahahaha!”

“‘That’s not an answer, babe.’ That’s what you’d say.” Tweek said. He had to admit that he was sort of enjoying himself. Craig had tickled him, but he’d never worked up the courage to get him back. Now though, as he watched his boyfriend squirm and blush and laugh under his wiggling fingers, he understood exactly why Craig got him all the time. His laugh was somewhat monotone but it had a lightness to it that made Tweek feel all warm inside.

“Are you happy? Are you h-having fun? Do you- AH like this, baby?” He teased, drumming into his ribcage.

Craig was sure he was going to die. Tweek’s fingers were sending little bolts of lightning through his body, darting around so he couldn’t catch them. Worse, though, was the teasing. He was sure it wasn’t as bad when he did it to Tweek, his stomach was full of butterflies and his face was burning hot. Tweek rarely called him pet names, so he was sure he was about to combust. But the worst of it was that he was enjoying it. It was fun to have Tweek be so playful and close to him and to have all his anxiety chased away by his uncontrollable laughter. Not that he was going to say that to him though. 

“Are you- ERK- ignoring me?” Tweek said, grinning impishly. His fingers wiggled upwards, then lifted entirely.

Craig panted, pushing up his hat and catching his breath.

“Ihihi’m nohoht ihignohoring yohou.” He giggled.

“Then answer my q-questions, love,” Tweek said, still smiling as his fingers twitched in the air above Craig’s chest.

“Whahat were thehey again?”

“Do- AH- do you like this? Are you h-having fun?” 

“Uh,” Craig trailed off, pulling his hat down again, “Maybe…” He whispered. 

“What was that?”

“MahahABYEHEHE!! TWEEK!” He squealed at Tweek’s fingers suddenly wiggling into his underarms. Craig slammed his arms down and arched his back, trying to squirm away from the unbearable feeling. 

“Oops, I d-didn’t catch that.” Tweek said, using his pointer fingers to rub little circles into the divots of Craig’s underarms. 

“I LIKE IT! I LIHIHIHIKE IHIHIT! PLEHEHAHASE HONEY, IHIT REHEHAHALLY TIHIHICKLES!”

“And you’re happy?” 

“IHIHI’M HAHAPPY! WHEHENEHEVEHER IHI’M WIHIHITH YOHOHOUHU IHI’M SOHO HAHAHAPY!”

Tweek squeaked, blushed, and toppled off Craig, falling to the side of him. He shifted and turned to face him, where Craig had done the same.

“Do- GAH- do you mean that?” He said, shyly.

Craig took a few deep breaths, “Yeah,” He said.

He tried to adjust his hat but ended up taking it off and throwing it somewhere vaguely behind him. Instead, he leaned forward, kissing Tweek softly. 

He made a content noise and leaned a little deeper into Craig. At that same time, the doorbell rang and Craig’s mother called him downstairs.

The two boys looked at each other before racing down the stairs and stumbling into Craig’s kitchen, where his mother stood holding an envelope.

Craig took a deep breath in, crossing the kitchen and ripping it open. Tweek felt his heart hammer, nervous on Craig’s behalf. His eyes scanned the text before he closed the letter again and gently set it down on the counter. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Slowly, he turned to face Tweek. 

Tweek’s heart sank. There were pinpricks of tears in Craig’s eyes and he was ready to offer the ultimate sympathy when a smile took over his face and he announced, in the driest, most monotone voice,

“I got in.” 

Everyone erupted in cheers. His mother, his father and sister (who had come to see what all the fuss was about,), and Tweek. 

They all rushed forward and Craig found himself crushed between all his favourite people. 

Tweek caught his gaze and smiled, his eyes glittering.

“I t-told you there was nothing to worry about. You’re the smartest guy I know.”

[resident-gay-bitch]

*looks at you with big wet eyes* transfem sirius hcs please🥺also what do you think her fashion sense is like

*looks at you right back with even bigger wet eyes* HIIIII! Im so sorry for getting back to you so late, please forgive me, I've been very busy and didn't even notice I had this ask

⭐️ Sirius Sundays ⭐️

Here are my transfem Sirius headcannons! (I love her so much), (I hope you don't mind that I included this in my Sirius Sunday thing);

Her style:

I think it probably wouldn't stray too far from what she'd already wear pre transition; for wizards skirts and dresses aren't that far off from robes so styles of clothing wouldn't really feel too different for her.

In terms of muggle clothing style specifically she'd still wear a lot of boot cut jeans and bell bottoms, a lot of band shirts and her leather jacket, she'd probably just style them a little differently, now with things in her hair, more jewellery and makeup and stuff.

However, I do also think she would raid Lily, Mary, and Marlenes wardrobes to find things that she likes. I think once Sirius came out, the girls would have basically adopted her as their protégé, teaching her anything and everything she wants to know about girlhood.

I think she'd like Mary's wardrobe best, I always hc Mary as a very fashionable person who likes to experiment and be bold with her outfits, and Sirius would love the sparkly dresses and bold colours stuffed into her wardrobe, and she'd have the best time trying everything on and doing a little fashion show for her friends.

I think as well she would wear a lot of skirts. She'd like the way they feel, how flowy they are and how cute they look, and they help her pass better in the beginnings of her transition, and also she knows she's got amazing legs so she doesn't mind showing them off a bit (showing them off to one specific person, more like).

I think, even though she'd try to pass more with typically "feminine colours", blue would be her best colour. Pretty shades of dark iridescence and periwinkles as well, she'd have lots of dresses, skirts, and coats in various shades of blue, and they'd always make her feel most pretty and feminine. Especially some blue eyeshadow or eyeliner. James would call her new penchant for blue a betrayal and tell her to go join Ravenclaw for being such a traitor (and then secretly tell her she's pretty and looks great at the same time).

Tall girls being even taller in high heels is a weekness of mine, and if I knew Sirius in real life, she'd abuse that weakness. I think anytime theres a party or a fancy event on, she'd put a pair of high heels on. They'd make her feel so pretty and feminine, and she'd be so tall. At first she refused to wear any shoe that wasn't flat on the foot because "girls are meant to be shorter than guys, right?" but then everyone told her that was stupid and peer pressured her into a high heels, and made sure she felt amazing in them.

In public, Sirius is very amendment on passing. She's done her research and always wears the most feminine clothing in muggle areas, wears the girls uniform to school, puts on eyeliner and lipstick, pitches her voice up, etc etc, and it's very important to her that she passess. With her friends she relaxes a little, when it's just them in a private area (esp just the marauders because they've seen the most over her over the years and she knows they don't really care), but she still pitches her voice up and wears typically feminine "colours" or "clothing". However, when with James or at home with just the Potters, she doesn't try at all; she'll often use her natrual voice, doesn't ever try to tuck or wear anything really feminine unless she just feels like doing so, she'll let her stubble come in from time to time even, until annoys her, and they never make her feel bad for it. James still calls her gorgeous every day, and Effie and Flea still call her their daughter. They make her feel extremely comfortable.

I think she'd love wearing her hair in double plaits, she'd look so cute like that and she likes how feminine it is, and it would also make her feel like the little girl inside her is coming alive, because all through the first and second years of school, all the girls in their year would have worn double plaits to class. So not only would it be cool and cute, it would be a way for her to feel like she's experiencing the girlhood she missed out on when she was younger. (Maybe James learnt how to braid so he could do it for her before bed if she's tired, and in the mornings so she could do her makeup and stuff at the same time so they wouldn't be late to work / class)

I also think she'd go through a phase where she'd grow her hair as long as possible just to see how long she can get it. Her record is just past her arse and she's very proud of it.

She'd love playing around and experimenting with hairstyles as well. She'd 100% go through bad phases of strange styles and all of her friends just have to grin and bear it, because if a very high side pony is what makes her feel best this week, than they're not going to crush her soul, they know she'll grow out of it soon enough. She does have taste afterall.

She'd get so pissed off about the lack of pockets in everything when she starts shopping for muggle womens clothes, and you know the minuet she finds a dress with pockets she'd show it off to everyone. She'd get so excited and wear the dress for like a month straight, no fucks given, only pockets.

She'd practice makeup looks on the Marauders all the time. James is her most willing model, of course, he'd let her do anything she wanted, but sometimes she'd want to practice on someone with a similar complexion to her, or with a different eye or lip shape or whatever, or sometimes if James isn't around to model. She'd wrangle Remus and Pete into getting their makeup done by her, and they argue the whole time even though they secretly enjoyed it a lot.

Before she came out to Effie and Flea - maybe especially if she was still living at 12GWP at the time she figured it out - and she started experimenting with her gender to figure it out, she wanted to try womens underwear and stuff, but she didn't want to be seen / caught buying it when she was still perceived as a bloke, so she made a bunch herself. She cut her breifs into knickers shape and made makeshift braletts out of old shirts and pyjamas (she had to learn how to sew for this too), and one day Effie or Flea came along to do her washing and found all the janky looking underwear and just went to her like "right, good effort darling but I'm taking you shopping for some real undergarments that actually fits you properly an doesn't look like it went through a blender".

Hc's about her transition;

I feel like she only figured out she was trans later in life, probably after she ran away to the Potters and started to really work on becoming her best self, or possibly just figured it out right before she ran away, and that was the kind of final reason to do it because she knew she had a better chance of acceptance with them <3

I am a tall Sirius truther till the day I die, so obviously she'd be a very very tall woman and this would make Marlene very jealous, and she'd constantly tease Marlene for being so short.

You already know that James is the first person she told, and if this is all happening in the 70s/80s, he probably would have been a little confused by the concept at first and didn't understand it at all. He would have never heard of transexuality and people swapping genders, but he would have still accepted her immediately. He would have asked so many questions, not only to make sure he was doing all the right things to make sure Sirius felt comfortable, proud, and happy throughout her transition, but also because he was extremely curious. He would have done a lot of research for her. (If Sirius wants something, Sirius gets it, so if she wants to be called she and a woman now, James is going to give 110% effort).

All of her friends have had a crush on her at one point, no matter their sexuality (eg pre transition + post), and she's pretty indifferent to people having feelings or attraction towards her, doesn't really care about it at all, but she does like to brag about it with her friends. And she loves to hold it over their heads lol.

I think if she came out whilst still in Hogwarts, she would have just gaslit everyone into thinking she was never a bloke. She'd get all her friends in on it, along with McGonagall of course, and anytime someone asked why she was wearing the girls uniform everyone would just be like "she's a girl wtf are you going on about? no, she was never a bloke, do you need me to take you to the sick wing?"

I think as well, after she came out, she would have gotten a lot closer with the girls. She'd love the way that girls all talk to each other, she'd love the constant drama and gossip, and she'd love how in touch and normal they are about their own emotions. Of course, Sirius has always felt she can talk to James about everything, and she does, but she likes how she can have deeper conversations more casually with the girls and in a group setting and stuff. She'd love how they always immediately validate her feelings and give her proper good advice and can relate to her problems in their own ways. But James would get extremely jealous of this and always try to intervene on girls night - it would never work, but Sirius promised to give him the best gossip when she gets home.

Back to Sirius being drop dead gorgeous, I think after she came out all the blokes on like the quidditch team and in their year would start fancying her, hoping to get a shag or whatever, and would constantly talk to James about it (they'd especially be asking if James and Sirius are actually together now that she's a girl because they're that close, James never gives them a real answer, just tells them Sirius isn't interested), and of course James would tell her all of this. They'd think it's so funny, but it's also strange because suddenly all of Sirius casual mates and quidditch team want a shag with her and it's weird. Again she's indifferent to it, has no interested in any of their advances, but it is odd when all the blokes who used to call her "a good lad" and would crudely talk about girls in the locker room around her, are now interested in her.

I think she'd love taking photos throughout her transition to track her progress. So then on days she feels like shit she can look back through them and see how much she's grown and feel as beautiful as she is again.

Thank you for the ask, I really love receiving them! I had a lot of fun compiling this list actually, I haven't written out all my transfem Sirius hc's before. I really love her so much and she deserves some more recognition tbh. She's the best. :P

[fruitybashir]

Did Bojan talk to Martin about the whole... everything? Like I am assuming that he did because it seems like they have quite regular contact when Martin isn't busy (I interpreted it as him having only pretty recently been so busy that he doesn't pick up but maybe he hasn't really talked to Bojan on the phone since he moved so since the beginning of the fic?) so does Martin know anything? Does he know about Bojan's situation with his parents? What does he know about Kris? Did Bojan have anyone to talk about any of this like Kris had Jan?

Basically my question is just what about Martin?

OOF. coming in with the hard questions haha actually not too hard, just long so. under the cut

im gonna do my best to answer all the questions but im going in chronological order like how things happen in the holidate universe:

so from the start, martin has pretty much just left, started the fall semester in the uk or smthn idk i never went to university

and since then hes also been pretty busy. he does try his best to keep in contact with bojan, but it just often doesnt work out bc hes very ambitious with his studies and also meets new people hes being social with, so unfortunately keeping in contact with bojan and the rest falls behind a little bit at first, and then some more

of course thats not the end of their friendship or anything, but for bojan, whos been living with martin up until then and had him around at all times, thats already a pretty hard blow and that loss does contribute to his overall state of mind and struggles in this fic

martin was actually supposed to make an appearance around ch14/15 but i couldnt make the scene fit in like i wanted to so. that didnt happen :/

its not like they never talk though, just not as often as they would like. bojan does tell martin about kris, or at least he tells martin about sleeping with kris and spending lots of time with him and sleeping over, though he frames it as just them having fun etc, similar to how kris pretended in front of jan

theres also a lot of. martin having to give bojan a raincheck or cutting calls short and bojan just saying "oh yeah haha its fine, dont worry about it!" when it actually really stings and makes him feel more alone.

when bojan came out to his parents martin definitely dropped everything he had going on to be on a ten hour video call with bojan to make sure he was okay and also involved jan and jure in it, had them look after bojan etc, basically did everything he could while being half a continent away

bojan does ofc also talk to the others about things, after martin they are his best friends after all, but he never really talked to anyone about his feelings for kris bc he convinced himself that it wasnt a big deal and if he had talked to anyone about it, saying it out loud would have made it too real. as long as its just a fantasy in his head, hes safe from consequences. does that make sense? fears like that often dont, thats the thing.

and anxiety is rarely rational either. so in the week it all went down (him leaving, being distant, going home with the girl) he was just in a constant downward spiral. he knew martin would be able to help so in his mind martin was the only one that could help + he knew from the start that he was hurting kris. jan, nace and jure were also kris' friends so he was probably also scared to bring it up with them bc he was afraid they would "take kris' side" or smthn, idk, again: fear and anxiety clouds your rational thinking like you wouldnt believe

he also has his whole thing of not wanting to be a burden to anyone so when he tries calling martin over and over again and martin maybe texted back "sorry, i was busy, whats up?" bojan didnt want to make martin feel guilty for not picking up and probably just said "dont worry, nothing important" or smthn. and then when jan blew up on him and he broke down at practice and told the others what was going on etc etc etc it was most certainly jan who texted martin and told him like "its really fucking bad, can you please call him? even just a few minutes, but he needs you"

uhhhhhh i forgot where i was going with all of this. i hope its still at least somewhat coherent hskfnd if i forgot smthn just lmk

[5tr4ylov35t4y]

Dont get over me, Im here

pairing: chan x fem!reader genre: angst in the start,fluff,smut

warning: sadness, clingy chan, SEX...... sweet affirmations reader is scared of thunder

notes:my first real fan fic that i haven't deleted, havent checked my grammar

It's been a week since Chan and I broke up.He has been too busy to be with me, so i started feel lonely and depressed. i couldn't handle it so i broke up with him thinking it was for the better. But damn, do I miss those eyes of his. They used to hold so much adoration for me, but now they're just filled with sadness during his lives that I still watch to help me sleep. I didn't even realize how much he was doing for me until he was gone. He would always be up before me, leaving me a note to start my day with a smile, and he would come to bed after me because he was working on his new track. I miss our happy comforting dinners that we had once in awhile. Now I'm just eating dinner in silence.

For Chan, it was not doing him any good either. The bed would be cold, the apartment would always feel too empty… what was he supposed to do when all his jokes didn't make sense to other people because his other half was not there to laugh? Why did it have to happen so suddenly? Would it not have been easier, fairer for them to both fall out of love at the same time? (At least he thought you fell out of love.) That wasn't how it worked, of course, that would have been far too easy. For it to be mutual and comfortable. Chan had been hurt immeasurably. He did not argue and merely agreed that if y/n was not happy, then it would be best for them to end their relationship. But this was the end he thought, and it fucking hurt. He couldn't cooperate with life as well as he did when you were still together. He never went to sleep now, no matter how hard he did. He would reach over for you, but it was empty.

He didn’t get around to dropping your things off until the next weekend and you hadn’t messaged him asking what the hold up was, he likely didn’t dare The last thing you needed was to sound like his ex nagging him about shit.It was Saturday night, 9pm by the time Chan got away from work and it was pouring with rain. The typical cliche weather for dropping off personal items to someone who broke your heart, The boxes were going to be left on the porch and Chan was going to ring the doorbell and then bail. He wasn’t going to hang around hoping you would talk to him begging him to come inside because the weather was getting harsher.

Chan sat parked outside y/n's place with the engine off listening to the rain splattering hard on the roof of the car. he forced himself out of the car lugging a box through the torrential rain towards the white door. Setting the box down under the porch roof,A rumble of thunder growled above before a flash of lightning lit up the street, just as chan ringed the door bell the light died and the power failed. "fuck," chan said pushing back his hair he knocked on the door and went back to his car trying to start it but it didnt turn on.

chan went back to the door and knocked on the door His knock was near drowned out by the rain and thunder, but he pounded the door until it shook and just when he thought it was better to give up the door swung open and y/n threw herself into chan's arms, her face buried in his shoulder. crying as she said "chan im so scared please stay with me" his heart broke even more, he picked y/n up and walked in closing the door behind them. chan walked to y/n's room with her in his arms the bed was all messy and the sheets were tangled but he still sat on the bed while cuddling y/n when he spoke “I’ll be honest, I thought you already had someone else here with you.” Sure it might have upset y/n for chan to admit such a thing but it would, at least, take her mind off the storm. “I always knew you were one hundred per cent honest with me so I don’t know why I figured you were leaving me for someone else. You’d have told me if you were, I know that.” chan honestly told you

“I love you, chan. I can’t switch that off, I made the decision to leave because I was so lonely. I missed being with you, I missed us being together.” you told him Without thinking, chan leaned down and kissed you softly.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I made you miserable. I’m sorry that it’s too late to realise it and fix it. I’ll stay until the storm is over and I promise you won’t hear from me again.” chan softly said into your hair “channnnn-, you’re so stupid. I love you so much.” you said right before you assaulted chan with kisses pressed all over his cheeks and forehead until chan had dissolved into laughter and you were just lying against him with your head in the crook of chan's shoulder.

While everything seemed to be genuinely perfect at that moment, chan still needed to know what was going on because it felt the same way as it had when they first got together.

Unfortunately, his question went unasked as the storm, which had seemed to calm for a moment, picked up with renewed energy and the rain battered the windows, the glass rattling from the force and y/n tensed in his arms.

“Stay, stay with me until the storm blows over.”

“Then what?”

“Stay until the next one.”

“What if the next one never comes?”

“Then you can never leave.”

“Okay.”

chan started to leave kisses on your face as his hand went to your hip" are we back together/" he asked softly 'there has to be some ground rules first chan"

His glossy eyes stared into yours. His eyes were filled with hope. “yes love tell me."

Placing your hand on top of his, you began to speak.

“You need to come home every night. You can’t continue to be at work 24/7. You’re already exhausted and you’re just hurting yourself. I’d also like to see you. I don’t want to keep coming home to an empty house.”

Chan nodded, the ghost of a smile could be seen on his lips.

“H-how about…” He began to say.

“Hm, what is it?” You asked.

“How about I try to make up a little for the time I missed out with you tonight?”

You looked at him with curious eyes, “Yeah, and how are you going to do that?” A smile was heard in your voice.

Chan showed you what he meant the moment his hands began to slide down the waistline of your pants. He looked at you with big eyes.

“I know it’s not much but I want to do something at least. If it’s ok with you, of course.”

Rotating your neck, you leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I would love that.”

With your permission, Chan slid off your joggers, followed by your panties. He grabbed them and tossed them near the foot of the bed.

You spread your legs open wider to give him better access. His warm hand traveled down your mound. You always melted at his very touch. His touch was safe and warm. Each time he touched you it sent shivers down your spine.

Dipping his fingers past your slit, he sought out your clit. Placing a gentle touch onto it, he began to move his finger causing you to whine.

“Does it feel alright baby?” He asked as he continued to tease your sensitive bud.

Softly squirming, you responded in a breathy tone, “Mm it’s so nice Channie. F-feels good.”

“Good.” He breathed out in relief. All he wanted to do was pleasure you, to make you feel his love from his touch. He softly attached his mouth to your neck as he continued to play with you. Starting from your earlobe, he began peppering soft kisses down your neck. He could hear the soft breaths you let out at every kiss. Chan continued to plant kisses slowly down your shoulder.

“Whatever my baby wants.” He stuck a second finger into you causing you to mewl.

“Fucking love your fingers Channie! They’re so t-thick.”

Moving his fingers, he began to fuck them in and out of you, “Yeah baby? You like my fingers?”

“Mhm!” you nodded, your head already going hazy.

“You’re just sucking them in, aren’t you?” He said, teasing you.

“Yes!” You cried out.

“Good girl.”

Chan simultaneously fucked his fingers in you as he sucked on your neck. His touch felt amazing, absolutely loving that all his attention was on you and making you feel good.

“Chan.” You breathed out, “I’m almost there!”

“Mm, come on baby, come for me.”

You let go the moment you heard his words, keening as he fucked you through your orgasm. Your muscles clenched as you split all over his fingers.

“You did so good.” Chan whispered into your ear as you fell onto the pillow.

Laying down beside you, you were both face to face with each other. Chan looked at you, smiling at your sleepy expression.

“I love you so much.” Chan said as he raked his fingers through your hair once.

“I love you too Channie.” You whispered out before you fell to sleep.

Chan stared at you for a bit, he admired how beautiful you were. He was so lucky to be loved by someone like you. you have no idea just how much he's head over heels for you. It's like he's under your spell or something.

[tanushakyrano]

febuwhump day 27: survivor's guilt

one more to go! im gonna write it later today most hopefully

characters: Gordon, John

additional warnings: excessive use of convoluted metaphors

It was one of those days.

No matter how hard you tried not to let them, the losses built up after a while. The people who were doomed from the start, who he could only help through a listening ear and a comforting voice. The people they lost because they'd not been fast enough or strong enough or clever enough. The people that couldn't be saved but he wondered if he could have anyway, because despite the lessons he'd learned, despite the voice of reason in his mind telling him that it was an impossible situation, there was some part of him that always felt that he hadn't done enough.

Once upon a time, John would have hidden himself away, far up in Five. In some ways it was easier, locking his feelings away as easily as he shut the airlock. It was what he had done after Dad - and after Mom, actually. He was cold, but cold meant numb and numb meant that he didn't feel. Nothing could touch him up there.

But eventually his brothers had broken in. They'd battered down the door, coaxed him out, given him care and understanding and love. It had hurt at first, feeling everything in a way John hadn't allowed himself to in years. Then it had gotten better. Good days scattered themselves amongst the bad like embers glowing in the ashes of a campfire. They grew hotter, hot enough to set the campfire alight, and his brothers helped him fan the flames until he was well and truly warm.

No fire was perfect, of course. The flames sputtered and dipped every now and again, but he was well and truly trying to keep it burning. To not let it go out entirely. John wasn't perfect either, but he was getting better at seeking out help and comfort.

That was why John found himself earthside in the kitchen at three in the am - wide awake thanks to his complete lack of a sleep schedule - making himself a herbal tea. The mug was warm in his hands, helping his body as it got used to Earth temperatures, because despite the fact he was on a tropical island he always managed to be half-frozen when he first stepped off the space elevator. Perks of living in a minutely controlled environment ninety-five percent of the time, he supposed.

"Oh. Hey, John."

It was Gordon, wandering into the room. He didn't say much at first other than his initial greeting, but busied himself at the counter, making himself a hot chocolate. The spoon clinked against the inside of the mug (John couldn't see him from where he was sat, but he'd bet real money that Gordon was using his octopus mug) as he stirred in the cocoa. John felt rather than saw him sit down next to him.

"You staying?" he asked quietly. John nodded.

"Couple days. EOS said she'd manage calls for me for a while, reroute most of them through to the GDF. If there's anything serious she'll let us know, but… yeah. Thought I'd stay here for a bit."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Gordon sipped his hot chocolate. John watched the moonlight rippling in the reflection of the water.

"Tough day?"

John paused. "Tough week, really."

"Yeah." Gordon rested his elbow on the table, swirling his hot chocolate around in the mug. "Me too."

John knew exactly what he meant. Today had been brutal - for everyone, but Gordon especially. Four deaths, three of them happening only moments before Gordon could reach them. John had seen the telemetry, knew that they likely would have died even if Gordon had got to them in time. Gordon knew that too.

It didn't mean that it didn't still hurt.

"That could've been me," Gordon murmured eventually. "With the hydrofoil accident, I mean. I got lucky. Really fucking lucky. I could've been hurt so much worse. Like they were." 

He swallowed. His fingers were white on the handle of his mug.

"It sucks, you know? It feels unfair, that I made it out and they didn't, and…"

He trailed off. "I dunno. I know it's not my fault, I know, so you don't have to tell me that. I just wish the universe wasn't so unfair sometimes."

For once, John's words failed him. There was nothing he could say, really - because what could you say? Nobody inherently deserved to live or die more than another person. And it was true that Gordon could have ended up exactly like them. At the end of the day, everything was up to fate; one tip of the scales determined life and death, determined who could be rescued and who was beyond saving. It was a simple, cruel fact of the universe. You lived and died with the cards you were dealt by the world.

"We just have to do our best, right?"

Gordon looked at him.

"It's… It does suck, that sometimes people don't make it. But there are always going to be people we can't save, and people that we can, and saving almost everyone is a hell of a lot better than saving no one."

"Yeah." Gordon rested his head on the table. "Yeah, you're right."

They stayed there in the kitchen until the sun peeped up from over the horizon, John's tea slowly going cold. Then Gordon wordlessly nudged a fresh cup of hot chocolate towards him.

"Thank you," John murmured, giving his little brother a small smile, wrapping his fingers around it and savouring the warmth sinking into his hands.

"No problem."