#beef sword though...

[endursent]

sigh………. 900’s icelandic commonwealth au with kaenri’ahns….. one can dream but who is going to read my niche old nordic blood feud chieftain political drama dainsleif x reader and capitano x reader…… triangle or just both of them fuck it…

the cold harsh winters and uninhabitable landscape…… the warm hearth and gatherings to uphold spirit…. the relief of summer……………… the alþingi meetings…… sturlungaöld-esque chieftain wars and internal conflict……. the dread and fatigue of endless family blood feuds….. must always be repaid….

my biggest problem would be conveying/translating all the old terms into english in a way that makes sense lol

[orcelito]

So the funny thing about my veilguard game is that I'm almost definitely overleveled. I just went and fought the blighted dragons in the wetlands, and... eh. Before this id already fought and killed the revenant dragon in the crossroads, which was a bit of a challenge. I even needed to use 2 potions for it. But I still killed it no problem. The wetlands blighted dragons were pretty easy in comparison.... though I Will say, fighting *two* dragons at once was a fun, unexpected surprise. Kept me on my toes a bit!! I still didn't need to use any of my potions, though

[lostbizkits]

Ok Ive been playing Hades II for a good while and I need to know if this is a shared sentiment or I’m just tweaking

WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I’M SMACKING CHRONOS WITH A POOL NOODLE

And boon rng feels so bad. I’ve had at least 3 runs where I make it to chronos and I only have 1 boon on main (not including boons like hydraulic might etc.etc)

I will say though the weapons themselves play pretty well imo, they just feel a bit weak (SKULL AND STAFF) I love you Zorophet.

It’s still EA so 100% understandable and not the dev’s fault but it’s really frustrating trying to have a good run but you can’t beat cerby because you’ve upgraded your basic to level 5 and are still doing 20 damage 💀

[un-local]

Kill Your Darlings: just cut the words "tiresome fart" out of my draft (in reference to Gideon the All-Knowing) so something more character-appropriate could be used

[jheselbraum]

I don't super go to linked universe (it's fine there's just A Lot of it and Almost Nothing in this fandom Isn't some kind of Linked Universe at this point) but I do wanna add to this, cause there actually is a hint at Hylias name and her relation to the Master Sword in A Link to the Past but if anything it proves that that Link would have no fucking clue who Hylia is nor would he have beef with her.

It's at the beginning and kinda easy to miss but one of the characters (I'm like 80% it's Sahasrala but it could also have been his wife) tells Link that the Master Sword is, like, this super powerful sword that was totally created by the people who used to live in Hyrule before the Hylians... A civilization called the Hylia.

Now, Hylia the character did not exist and definitely wasn't even a twinkle in Nintendos eye when alttp was made. This is the franchise that solved the "multiple writers across multiple decades who all want to write different stories" thing by basically doing the opposite of whatever DC and Marvel were doing with their classic franchises and completely ignoring the timeline even after they caved and actually made one. But even if you are looking at that scene in a post skyward sword context and applying the knowledge that Hylia the character is meant to have canonically existed prior to humans evolving according to Nintendo, I personally don't see how anyone could read that line of dialogue and come to any conclusion other than "by the time A Link to the Past happens, no one in Hyrule has any goddamn clue who the fuck Hylia is or what she did"

Because "the Hylia created the Master Sword" is actually a pretty reasonable drift from "the goddess Hylia created the Master Sword" and no, the franchise that has literally never made two games with an 80% seamless continuity between them did not secretly have Hylia in their back pocket while they were making A Link to the Past, a game that was made during the early days of Zelda when Link was still canonically worshipping The Actual Fucking Christian God there is concept art about this.

And these things happen! We can look at real world religions and see it happening! Gods get imported and exported, come into and out of popularity, even the specifics change from time to time (look up early Christian heresies you'll be REAL surprised by what you find)! And it's really fun that they introduced a wildly important character to one of nintendos biggest franchises after multiple games where she straight up doesn't exist because no one had thought of her yet, claim that she's actually been every single Zelda, and have it still work because Hyrule can't even directly remember the Triforce exists half the time so it makes sense they wouldn't always remember who Hylia is so they completely sidestep what would otherwise be a massive wasted opportunity by just not using Hylia if she doesn't fit the vibe (a link between worlds didn't have any mention of Hylia at all and that came out well after skyward sword)!

So that version of Link has zero reason to be mad at Hylia. If he's mad at any deity it would be literally the christian god there is literally a regular ass christian church in that game that is a key location.

Disclaimer: I don't super care, on like a personal level, if you have religious trauma and want to use your blorbos to work through it in a fandom setting I just like analyzing things and I like Hylia and I think ignoring what's actually in these games diminishes the impact of actual smart writing decisions that the devs make sometimes when it comes to continuity across different games, because usually they don't care about that sort of thing which is their prerogative but it's nice to see stuff working when they do decide to care. (I also think LU legend having beef with Literally The Real World Religious Figure Jesus Christ is a way funnier concept than whatever's going on with Hylia but I do want to emphasize that I am joking about that and generally Christian imagery in the early zeldas should be regarded with the same sincerity as the Christian imagery in neon genesis evangelion, which is to say have fun but it's literally just there to look cool and foreign for a Japanese audience, like how the Homunculi in FMA have English names in the original Japanese script but when it got translated they got Latin epithets)

Okay you know what actually yeah. I was tired but I had a point.

Why. On earth. In zelda fics. Do people not shut up about everything being hylia's fault forever and ever.

Like, the one deity out of a dozen odd who got cursed into this right alongside Link. All the focus on one great all being power who then gets blamed or blessed for everything that ever happens. It's just... I don't know, it just seems like a culturally Christian thing. Not even that - American catholic.

Especially Legend omg when people write him he never shuts up about how everything bad that's ever happened to him is all hylia's fault and she's doing it on purpose with no thought to her poor beleagured hero. He sounds like someone who grew up in an American conservative household who turned out to be queer and never bothered to unpack any of it and acts like he's now atheist.

But even then you could do something interesting with that!! The common headcanon that Legend is hylian royalty - of course that family would put immense worth and worship on hylia as her descendants, she who founded their kingdom. And maybe legend could feel bitter about not inheriting the magic, or the throne, or whatever meant he grew up away from the castle. Give him some unexamined religious trauma! Heck, he could bond with Flora over disappointing your family's expectations or something! They could work on unpacking it together! If you must make it part of his character at least think about why!

Because that belief is wrong, because hylia is literally the one deity we can pretty safely understand is not all seeing, all knowing, all being.

Every time she has a voice, a role, we see her make mistakes or be tricked and have regrets.

Skyward sword, she's literally zelda. She's a young protective warrior goddess (she used a sword and lead armies to battle against demise) who was created by the Three to guard the triforce and keep watch over hyrules lands. By the time ss starts she's already made several tough calls, not limited to yoinking hylians into the sky. When she was zelda she hated every second of leading Link around and even then!! It all hinged on him being completely willing! He was never forced to do anything, she didn't even have her memories with the plan until after she'd fallen to the surface! Their relationship was entirely genuine and she very nearly overestimated her own willingness to go through with the plan! And even then she still managed to get kidnapped lmao. That's not what happens when you're in charge of fate.

And in botw and totk - she's in her full divine form, her full divine powers, she's ancient and magic and worshipped in every corner of the kingdom. And (spoilers!) she loses contact with one of her own mf statues. Not just any ten apples high chibi statue you see in the towns, no, it's The Big One. She's got no idea what happened to it, but she's (rightfully) worried, and asks Link to check it out. And in an entirely separate instance, her OTHER big statue in the ToT gets overridden!! By a triangle head! And ol creep in the deep is the one who releases the statue! It's been what 20k years of power and worship - if she's not all powerful then she never will be.

Hyrule - every hyrule - is very, very polytheistic. She's not even a goddess of time to be in charge of stuff like that! There's multiple of them: Naryu, Cia (and Lana), Farosh to an extent, and many artifacts that can cause time travel, like the harp of ages, the ocarina, the big portal in ss, those time shift stones in the same game, the statue in wind waker. Please stop treating her like the magic elf equivalent of Monotheistic American Christianity God.

She was introduced in skyward sword. The game that came out before botw. She did not exist in any of the games that came before that. There was a lake hylia! In the kingdom hyrule! That's it! Her name or even existence wasn't even hinted at before that. It's actually canonically pretty unlikely any of the chain (cough cough legend) have even heard of her! And her assigned job is protector of the triforce. That's it. And she can't even use the thing. She can very explicitly as a main driving force of the ss plot not use the triforce she protects. And the triforce, shockingly, is not even in every game.

Cases that hylia often gets the most flack for (links awakening and all the trauma from that, Link failing in botw, the events of totk) hylia has absolutely zero part in. Hilariously. And she has zero power over wishes made to the triforce or who makes those wishes or what the triforce does about it.

She even gets all the blame for the cycle of the hero, the reincarnation! Which? We know exactly how that happened. Blaming her for a curse she herself is a victim to?? Demise, in skyward sword, explicitly, on screen, doing it ON PURPOSE, cursing the spirit of the hero and the blood of the goddess.

Hylia, I don't know if you've noticed, also has her own blood. Whether or not she lost that blood upon return to her divine form, she still couldn't break the curse. Link, spirit now tied to whatever demise had cooking up, is basically to reincarnate in time for whenever the Interesting Times happen. And it's demise's fault, who, again, did it on screen, on purpose, explicitly, pointing at the camera with text bolded and everything.

So why do people even blame her? I think it comes down to this:

Her name matches the kingdom. Whatever her connection to the people with the same name, I don't know, but she did found the surface kingdom as a mortal. Being named zelda at the time I wonder who chose the name XD!

Her worship in botk as a high ranking deity. Again, not monotheistic, there's temples to the Three and there's Malanya and Satori and the great fairies and the yiga worship ganon, but hylia is the most widespread for all she's basically a side character working for the new heart piece situation. Again, this is only the case in ss/botk, she doesn't appear in even aoc.

A misguided belief spread in fanfiction that in linked universe, hylia is the one opening and controlling the portals. To my knowledge, lu canon is that the portals are opened by dark link, or at least that's the working theory. I think it's assumed that hylia is the one who gathered the heroes together to combat it? If that's true? Congratulations! We have one (very plot necessary) act of hers in a fan comic. That is not canon to The Legend Of Zelda series.

An american Christian (I hesitate to say evangelican?) cultural understanding of religion. The differences between polytheism and monotheism. How one might feel if the divine was proven real on earth. Zelda is a Japanese property, it is not a Christian country. Though it draws aesthetic inspiration from western medieval fantasy it is not and never will be culturally western. The majority of ao3/tumblr users are American or at least English speaking, and that will always affect interpretation. It's giving 'be thankful to God no matter what for he always has a plan. Trust in him and your suffering will be rewarded' which is not a universal religious belief.

Something I've noticed to be surprisingly common in fandom, is where a mentor or figure of authority who is anything less than perfect or all forgiving can very quickly have their reputation ripped to shreds by the fandom. And then newer authors come, read those works, internalise that about the characters and produce new works that assume that character's cruelty to be par for the course. I will not be listing those characters or fandoms for a variety of reasons lol. But it is amazingly common and very hard to untangle, especially in larger fandoms. It's character bashing in a way near identical to cancelling people irl. It's not 'giving them depth' or 'making it more realistic' (grittier equalling realism is an ice cold take proliferated by dudebro comic authors and wrong besides.) Have some critical thinking.

Lately, I've also been running into a great many fics (not so much comics) that make hylia do some fairly heinous stuff... And then unironically blame her for it. They do remember they're the ones deciding what the characters do, right? She's not an abusive master playing with her puppets until they break, she's quite the opposite! Use the right tags (dark hylia/ooc characters/character bashing/author made them do it, idk) or dial it back. This is a growing percentage of fics and I'll never restrict content but yanno, if you're going to make hylia evil or manipulative at least understand it's a canon deviation (and do something interesting with it, I once read an amazing botw fic with evil hylia and fierce deity!).

TLDR, To summarise, hylia is canonically incapable both emotionally and physically of doing the majority of things characters in fics blame her for. Stop using her as a scapegoat especially when demise is right there. Please give your whumpees deeper characterisation than hating on hylia. Please give legend deeper characterisation than hating on hylia every time he or someone else is sad. Please remember wild can talk to hylia if he wants. Please double check anything you're not sure about :D!

[getsuuna]

KNY Fandom so fucking insufferable I'm gonna start behaving like those GiyuShino and SaneKana shippers and go around spreading misinformation and say "no you don't get it SaneGiyuu was implied!!!" /j

because I'd actually have more content to mention without even mischaracterizing them

wanna talk about how they're a two-faced mirror? almost as if they were written to parallel each other and there's so much to talk about on this matter

or, since not everyone in this Fandom can dive into analysis, wanna mention how Shinobu figured Sanemi could've made Giyuu smile by inviting him to eat his fav dish with him? why not ask him directly instead? why Sanemi out of all people?

wanna mention Sanemi's pseudo-obsession on that man? he disliked his ass, but if we go back to analysis, his intolerance to someone feeling superior can be tied to a multitude of factors and one of which is being low-key reminded of himself, and he loathes himself while at the same time he puts on that strong façade. he can't face it though. and he wanted to understand why Giyuu felt that way SO BADLY he went to him for training and tried to speak with him, he wanted a contact, he wanted to understand, he needed Giyuu to speak up but he didn't.

on the other hand don't we wanna talk about Giyuu's perspective? Giyuu never hated him nor did he really feel sad knowing he disliked him, contrary to how he felt towards Obanai. not to mention he even got to be sarcastic towards Sanemi's dumb ass at least twice.

and the iconic ohagi scene? idk about y'all but between the hashira I think that's THE iconic scene, alongside Giyuu and Shinobu beefing and Shinobu almost stabbing him (don't get me wrong platonic GiyuShino has my whole heart)

the first time we saw Giyuu smile in the series is while imagining to befriend Sanemi??? and out of everyone he chose Sanemi? the hashira who is canonically the most difficult to talk with?😭 he only ever smiled either for food, for Sanemi or Tanjiro

oh and let's not talk about how Tanjiro, after getting knocked up, wakes up and the first thing Giyuu says is "yeah Shinazugawa left" ..? or the whole novel chapter in which they end up talking about him (supposedly right after that scene in the manga) and Giyuu cheered up. what

anyways, likewise, the first time Sanemi was seen smiling genuinely outside of his family was with Giyuu. Obanai and especially Masachika were both closer to him, not to mention the most important person in his life, Genya...yet here we are ig?? (after Giyuu he also smiled more in general, the scene of him smiling at Nezuko was one of my fav panels ever so keep in mind I'm taking in consideration the chronological events and not the impact of the scenes per se)

or let's talk about the most important part in their development which is when they fought together.

Sanemi saving him, telling him not to zone out while throwing the sword at him, it made Giyuu realize he's the water hashira, it was the first time Giyuu acknowledged it. Sanemi influenced Giyuu's character positively, and so far Tanjiro was the only other one who managed to. Sanemi saw him as his ally (rightfully so), and hopefully seeing him fight also made him realize he wasn't that much of a conceited guy, he was just like him, as he initially wanted Giyuu to understand (despite the fact it was a miscommunication)

Sanemi teaming up with Giyuu out of everyone, in such an impactful panel.... idk, if it was a straight ship that would've felt like a confession for the Fandom 💀

they impacted each other's character, they were the only two hashira surviving after facing the same war, they faced similar struggles during their lives (but let's not get into analysis, once again...), they could've understood each other better than anyone else would ever have, and they ended up bonding and eating together

that panel was there, in the middle of other panels all portraying important bonds, whether canon romantic bonds or platonic and sibling-like ones (Tanjiro and Nezuko, the Kamaboko squad, the swordsmiths etc.)

if it wasn't important it wouldn't have been there, but the funniest thing is that if either of them was a woman it would've been considered canon since it also included TanKana, ZenNezu and InoAoi🙏🏻

but oh, if we try to name either of these things and more, people will rightfully say "can't they be friends anymore?", which is valid, but I wonder why this doesn't apply to equally fanon straight ships.

a show so peak has so many fans that are so dense😭😭😭

[the-punforgiven]

Note that the ones you don't choose will not attack you all at once, they'll attack you randomly within the span of a couple months. The unchosen ones are free to form alliances with each other as they see fit, but are not guaranteed to do so.

Additional (optional) details below the cut

- The mercenary and the bounty hunter can be paid off, but only if you choose a protector with the money to do so

- The young wizard's grandfather was much more powerful than the old wizard is

- The magic sword the inexperienced knight wields has a moral compass of its own and HATES the overlord specifically, and she will not ally with the young knight because of it

- The aged wizard does have a spellbook of his own and is experienced enough to teach you, so you could in theory learn some of the spells from it for yourself but it would be very difficult

- The Overlord does have an army of evil minions at her disposal, but has chosen not to use them because she's so confident in her supernatural strength and evil magic. She might stoop to summoning a few of them if the situation gets REALLY dire, though

- The mercenary is VERY well trained with his greatsword, and bodyguarding is his specialty

- The woman in the coat and hat always seems to have wispy shadowy tendrils coming off of her, and you've never seen more than the lower half of her face. She's tall and mysterious but you don't actually know what she's capable of tbh

- The pirate like just finished a fairly lengthy voyage and does not have enough supplies on his ship to stay at sea for the whole month. He will have to make port at least once to resupply

- The dragon knight is the tallest of the bunch, narrowly beating out the Overlord. He can also breathe fire, though it hurts him greatly to do so

- The bounty hunter has an extensive set of plans specifically tailored to kill everyone else on this list individually. However, those plans are somewhat situational and the others regard him with suspicion enough to plan around his planning, which he in turn plans to plan around as well

- The wailing spirit has some beef with the pirate. She terrifies him specifically

- The vampire can create thralls to assist you, but does not have any at the start

- The vampire and the overlord do both have castles you could hang out in, but the vampire's is not well guarded and the Overlord as mentioned previously has given her minions the month off

- The goblins have a small camp of tents in the middle of the forest, with a 5-foot high defense wall made of sharpened sticks. They are armored in scraps and have really shitty weapons but they're a scrappy bunch who'll consider you one of their own, and are very experienced in ambushes and hiding

- The Overlord regards the goblins with a sense of fond nostalgia, recalling her command of them in her younger years

[justiceiscalling]

height headcannons

okay here are my height head canons for the batfam!

bruce: 6’0. he towers over all his kids except jason. he’s forever upset about this because on the rare occasion he hugs jason, his head is the one tucked under jason’s chin—not the other way around. sometimes though, jason hunches to please him. so jays head can be buried in his shoulder like old times.

dick: 5’10. he literally doesn’t care about his height, like it does not effect anything. sure, he’s annoyed jason is taller, but that’s because he knew small malnourished jason who wasn’t expected to be taller than 5’6, who always claimed to never care about height, who now puts things on the absolute highest shelf so dick will never be able to reach them. jason todd is a giant asshole. so overall dick doesn't care about his height except when jason's around. (he will scream and yell at him when jay hides stuff way too out of reach for him because 'wtf you're supposed to be the little brother, not me!')

barbara: when she was batgirl she was 5’7 now she’s a solid 5’9 when she’s standing up. she can’t stand (wheelchair) so jason doesn’t hide things high up from her often half because he’s an asshole but he’s not that much of an asshole. the other reason is because once, put a usb she was looking for super high up in the cave. he left to go grab a snack, laughing at her quietly as she glared. when he came back barbara had the usb some how. later he checked the camera but someone had cut the feed.

jason: when he first showed up as red hood he was 5’11 but he’s grown two inches. he’s 6’1 but his red hood boots make him 6’2. he loves that he towers over bruce just slightly. he also loves to put stuff really high up so none of his siblings can reach and then record them trying to grab it. whenever he’s having a bad day he pulls up a video of dick when jason had first started hugging stuff yelling at him because not only had he put it somewhere he couldn’t climb but he had also hidden all the chairs, forcing dick to go down to the cave and grab a chair. by the time dick came back with the chair, the object was sitting on the floor and jason was smiling evilly.

cass: 5’6. never really cared about her height. she finds it very useful to be short, as she’s overlooked. she can still beat jason up so, who cares? when jason puts stuff high up she just glares at him until he gives in. i forever believe jason and cass have beef so sometimes it takes a long time for him to give in, but cass is relentless.

stephanie: 5’11. when she was with tim, she was non stop teasing him. now that she’s taller than dick she’s also always teasing him. sometimes, when jason puts stuff really high up, stephanie wears her boots to give her an extra inch or so and then goes up to the other kids to patronize them.

tim: 5’8. he’s the shortest besides cass and he’s pissed about it—he’s not expected to grow at all. both of his parents were relatively short people. when jason hides shit he just glares at whatever it is that’s out of reach and then goes on with his day because he won’t give in to jason’s game. everytime jason sees tim glaring at whatever’s so high up, he bursts out in fits of laughter.

duke: 5’10. his parents were relatively tall people and when he first showed up to the batfam he was already at his full height. whenever jason hides stuff and it’s too far up (dick and duke are the same height) he has no shame in climbing on top of counters and shelves to reach things. alfred always tells him not to. once, he broke a really old bookshelf trying to reach a book jason had put on the top shelf that he needed for school. that started a war (and duke won).

damian: at first he was short. he came to gotham 4’11 with a sword that was half his height and the confidence of a 6’5 man. when he turned 11 he was 5’3 and the doctor said he wasn’t expected to grow anymore. bruce tells him it’s fine because he was short at that age too, which is only half a lie, bruce was shorter than he was now but never THAT short. but it’s fine, because you know who was also a short menace at the age of eleven? talia al ghul. course, damian doesn’t know this and he’s set to be short for the rest of his life. from 10 to 17 he grows a total of 2 inches. he never reaches for the stuff jason hides, if he sees it up there he either abandons the idea of grabbing it as a whole or sends duke to climb and grab it.

the summer after damian turns eighteen (whichever birthday you guys headcanon him to have. i always give him a january birthday, i know his birthdays technically august but there’s too many august birthdays in the batfam) he goes away for two months on a mission with his team (someone please ask me who i want on damian’s future team. please.) in space. when he returns he’s fucking 6’0. now, he can reach everything jason’s hiding, he hands them off to dick before he can throw his tantrum and tells duke to stop climbing the counters because he’s "got this.” sometimes duke still climbs the counters.

hope you enjoyed. i’m about to post a fic rec soon so stay tuned.

[extra-v1rgin]

The reader is a wolf hybrid written with a vagina and breasts, I don’t think there’s any direct references to gender.

Contains: Mentions of previous poor living conditions, Imprisonment (sex doesn’t occur while reader is directly imprisoned), Cunnilingus, Vaginal fingering, Vaginal Intercourse, Groping.

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆

“Criminal case number forty-seven.” The chains around your hands clink loudly as a guard drags you forward. “The defendant has repeatedly robbed several stands throughout the capital. Jail time has had no effect and we seek more severe punishment.”

You keep your eyes on the ground. Without your comfortable cloak you feel exposed. The fur on your arms stands on end. Your hideous appearance is revealed in the scrappy prison clothes you wear. You suppose you really do look like some sort of criminal now.

“Are you a kobold?” A loud voice rings out. The words bounce around the ornate room until they burns your ears.

You don’t speak. You don’t want to dignify his idiotic question with a response. The crown king or prince or whatever should just sentence you to death by hanging and leave you be.

The guard to your left smacks the back of your head. “Answer,” he commands gruffly.

“I’m not.” You mumble the words so softly you’re sure you’ll just be reprimanded again but the quiet words appear to be satisfactory.

“Beastkin then? Or some kind of-“

“Laios focus on your duties!”

Your eyes flick upwards to watch the… advisor or confidant- you can’t pay attention to the intricacies of royal life -scold the king. They exchange quiet words that even your sensitive ears can’t make out. When the conversation ends you bow your head once more.

“We’ll keep her in the barracks for further investigation.”

Your ears twitch but otherwise you don’t react. Music sounds from your restraints again, jingling as you’re dragged off.

—-

The cells in the castle aren’t much nicer than any of the others you’ve been in. Most are relatively similar other than the temperature inside. You’re warm here at least which is better than the wooden walls that let in every gust of wind back on the outskirts of town.

The guards are the same, quiet and rude.

You sit around for 3 days in absolute silence. All the other cells are far away enough that you don’t know who else is kept locked up. The only sounds you hear are footsteps from the floor above and murmurs from the guards. They probably think they’re being quiet but you can still hear everything the pair is saying. Mostly it’s useless gossip. You now know all about who’s fucking who and who slacks off and who is stealing extra portions at dinner.

Every once in a while you hear a murmur about the king. There’s so many rumors about him that you don’t know what to believe. You can trust the guards a little bit more but nothing they say is useful in any way.

“The guy’s fucking weird, friends are too.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s been through fifty chefs at this point. All the food tastes fine but he fires them after one week.”

“We get to eat some exotic shit though.”

“Damn right.”

All you get is the same bowl of porridge three times a day. For dinner there’s two dry slices of beef to accompany the slop. You treasure the meat though. Even if everything tastes the same having protein is a gift. You chew it slowly as if you can pull any kind of flavor out of it.

You don’t know why you’re here. You’ve already been tried for execution twice and it’s likely the third time will be the charm. It’s a miracle you’ve kept your hands this long. Most dogs get put down after their first bite.

—-

By the fifth day the guards have gotten bored enough to bother you. Their swords clang against your door. “Are you awake?”

You don’t answer but they peak through the slot in the door. “Hello? You got hearing problems?”

“No way she does, her ears are fucking giant.”

“Whaddo you think she is?”

“Why the fuck would I know? Maybe some kind of beastkin or an ogre or something.”

“How dumb are you? That’s not what ogres look like.”

While their focus turns away from you, you shrink against the wall. Your appearance has often been debated and you’ve heard just about every comparison by now. With how much you’ve heard about ogres you thought they might not mind your circumstances but they found you too human. Now you exist in a limbo with no race to call home. Even your own mother discarded you.

They murmur about a wide variety of monsters. Even you don’t recognize most of the things they list. For a place devoid of monsters the guards seem to know a lot about them.

—-

Someone slams their fists against your cell. As his face comes into view a short guard reveals himself. His nose is big and his neck is skinny. It reminds you of a bird. In response your stomach growls.

“Hands against the wall.” You obey wordlessly. There’s no point in delaying your death another day.

“You better thank the divine or whatever you believe in. His Majesty wants a personal interview before sending you to the gallows.” He laughs at the end. Though you can’t do much to retaliate a harsh growl scares him for a moment. He slaps you afterwards but it doesn’t hurt much. His hands are strangely thin. It only adds to the bird imagery.

You follow the man with a wide smile. He complains about your fangs but that only makes your mouth open wider. You run your tongue over your sharpest canines.

“Don’t act all high and mighty. You’ll be a dead bitch by the end of the day.”

You’re not smiling about any supposed freedom, it’s just fun to watch his eyes trace your teeth. Will the king react the same? Too many stories go around to know if he’s actually a brave hero or another coward hiding behind fables.

When you enter he looks much less extravagant than he did a few days ago. The lion-skin cloak is gone from his shoulders. A crown sat atop is head but it was a plain band of gold. You still admired how it shined in the low light of the room.

You’re still trying to figure out what you think of the man when the guards leave and you’re left alone.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Laios extends his hand but you ignore it. You keep your eyes pointed at the table now. He should just drag you towards the guillotine and have it over with.

The man seems unperturbed and smiles widely at you.

“Oh and you shouldn’t worry about… dying or anything.” He pulls an odd face that isn’t quite a frown. “We’re all about rehabilitation here- or well it depends, but mostly rehabilitation yes.”

“So you’re gonna give me a job cleaning up shit or something?”

“Probably not, Marcille handles that kind of thing though. The job assigning I mean. She’s very good at it.”

You go quiet again. You’re not sure why the king has to be involved in something as simple as this. He speaks very casually but appearance wise does give off an air of royalty.

As the silence stretches on for a bit too long before Laios takes it as a cue to open his mouth again. “I’m interested in your heritage, if you’ll share. I meant to ask if you were beastkin earlier but I didn’t get an answer!” His eyes light up and you find yourself caught off guard. Usually the people who take interest in you do it for less than honest reasons. Laios hasn’t completely ruled out that possibility but his innocent look does relax you slightly.

“Ah well I don’t really know the full story.” Your mother had barely ever spoken to you about anything, much less your progenitors. “My mother was one, a beastkin. She was a werewolf. I don’t know about my father though.”

“Amazing! I didn’t know beastkin could have children. We’ll have to write to Izutsmi.” He stands up, knocking his chair backwards. Quickly the man crosses over to you. He easily towers over you. The eyes of his lion cape look down on you in judgement. “Can I ask you a few more questions?” He’s growing loud, almost shouting.

“Maybe.” Laios is making a mad dash back towards creepy territory but he still looks rather excited so you push down the feeling.

“Can I see your hands?”

This time you do extend just one. He cradles it for a moment, twisting your wrist and curling your fingers. It’s such a delicate touch. You’ve never had someone hold you without intending to hurt.

Laios’s thumb glides over the thick skin of your palm. “It’s like a paw pad,” he murmurs. You’re glad that he doesn’t mind your silence. As he moves upwards to trace over your nails, claws, you wince. They’re brittle and chipped in some places. Overall they have a strange stripped texture that looks hideous.

“Are they good for digging?” The question catches you so off guard you stifle a laugh.

“I dunno. I’ve never tried… I guess they’re good a tearing through wood though.” Not enough to escape any kind cell of course, but enough to piss off the guards.

“Ah that’s clever!” There’s a lot of firsts happening today. You can’t remember receiving any compliment without a sarcastic undertone spoiling it. It makes your cheeks burn a little but you try to will the feeling away.

Without asking, though honestly you don’t care, his hands trace their way higher up. Laios runs his fingers through the short fur on your forearm. “The color matches your hair, though the texture is a little different.” To confirm he plants a hand on your head, right between your ears. Immediately they flatten while a growl bursts out from your chest. “Sorry.” He pulls back with a sheepish look. “Does that happen instinctually?”

“Usually… sometimes I know why but sometimes it just happens I guess.” Slowly your ears rise back up as his hand lowers.

“If I ask can I touch your ears?” Immediately they flatten again.

“No!” It’s a commanding tone that comes out louder than you intend. There’s a hint of embarrassment but Laios doesn’t look bothered so it quickly fades.

“Your tail?”

It curls around your hips protectively. If you keep saying no will he get violent? Is your death still set in stone? Getting friendly with a king might not be such a bad idea.

“Just the tip of it.” Slowly your tail sticks out to the side. As he approaches it you hold your breath.

“Ah it’s so soft!” He pinches some of the fur between two of fingers. “Does it feel nice?”

“It feels… fine.” It’s like someone petting your hands. The sensation itself is calming though.

He continues on this path for a while. Laios comments on your inhuman features with fascination and listens when you tell him no. When you don’t allow him to measure your tongue or poke his fingers into your ears he happily moves on to another aspect of your canine features.

You’re still debating if his interest in you is flattering or creepy when the king finally seems to tire himself out. Actually one of his attendants knocks softly on the door and Laios wilts. You’re happy to have his hands off you but overall the experience was not entirely unpleasant.

Afterwards you’re brought back to the chilly prison with snarky guards but you carry the warmth from your meeting.

—-

After your third meeting you get moved from the prison to a proper room. It’s still solitary with a guard outside your door but it’s nicer than anywhere else you’ve ever been. The bed is plush and soft. Since you first ran your hands over it you’ve picked up the habit of sleeping nude. People knock properly before entering now and fur covers most of your back.

While you don’t sleep longer you do sleep better. One hour in a huge bed with an actual mattress gives you better sleep than you’ve had in your entire life.

The meals you eat are filling and delicious. You can’t help but scarf them down as quickly as possible. Somewhere in the back of your mind you regret not savoring the food but you can’t help yourself.

The guards are just as rude, seemingly aware of how you first came to the castle. You don’t necessarily expect any better but it does sour the extravagance of everything else.

In between meetings with Laios you stay tucked away in your room. Whenever you leave people narrow their eyes as you pass. The hallways are too confusing and there’s nothing to do anyways. If you don’t have to steal and scrounge around for food you’re happy to laze about. Everything you need is within reasonable distance.

When you do meet with Laios the meetings stretch to be longer. He always seems to find new questions to ask you, rarely repeating asks you’ve already turned down.

If you need breaks between the man counting tufts of fur and measuring the growth of your claws he agrees. Though even when you eat or simply rest in the silence golden eyes observe you intently.

“Can you eat raw meat?” He easily interjects in the middle of a quiet meal.

As with many of his questions you don’t know the answer. You admit the truth sheepishly each time but he accepts your answer.

“If I bring you some will you try it?”

“Maybe…” Your nose twitches at the thought. It can’t be any worse than rotten meat and that didn’t taste half bad either.

—-

Looking forward to your meetings with Laios is an awful thing. He brings you divine food (At least raw meet agrees surprisingly well with your tastebuds) and a few gifts even if they’re thinly veiled things to test you with. You go through a few different physicals, one by an actual doctor, and general trials. Laios makes bold comments about your natural strength and other physical characteristics. It gives you a rather big head.

His questions get a little bolder but after your thirty-fifth bubble bath you’re a little more lenient with what you allow. If he wants to check your ears or count your teeth then you’re happy to allow him.

The whole time Laios’s interest in you was purely based on your characteristics. Some might’ve considered him rude— he had barely asked you any personal questions after all —you liked his open attitude. A few humans had had an interest in your form, though for less strange purposes (or possibly more strange depending on how you looked at it). Though rather than approaching you openly most resorted to tricks or sly words. It made your stomach twist uncomfortable.

Laios was earnest. If he wanted to measure your feet and stride you knew there wasn’t an ulterior motive. It made complying with his requests easier despite how strange they got.

That was perhaps your downfall. Questions got more wild though you knew the reasoning was the same. Once he had asked to measure your tongue, insistent that it looked longer than any human-races. He hand crammed his fingers into your mouth, oddly stroking the wet muscle.

“Do my fingers taste weird? Do you think you’d ever eat a human?” You couldn’t answer with his rough fingertips still tracing your tastebuds.

“Ha your tongue is longer! I wonder if your vocal cords are different too. Kobolds have trouble speaking the common language because of it. Though your speech sounds fine.” While he speaks his fingers slip from your mouth. His hand traces your neck, skimming over your Adam’s apple.

You smack your lips a few times to get the taste of skin out of your mouth. It didn’t taste good or bad (well maybe it was a little bad), just strange.

“Do you want a drink?” Laios hardly looks guilty as he offers you a cup to cleanse your tastebuds. The tangy juice is a welcome change.

“Is that all?” The man tries not to subject you to more than one or two strange requests a day. You haven’t been out long but you’d be surprised if he asked for another odd exploration.

He looks a little disappointed now, as he always does at the end of your meetings. Still he excuses you with a wave of his hand and a small nod.

—-

Laios does not call on you for almost a week, a strange break in your schedule. While your visits are not always daily they happen at least twice a week. The king’s curiosity is never-ending. Though you wonder if he has finally asked all his questions.

You’re hesitant to leave your room, and instead find ways to entertain yourself inside. There are a few books with simple enough language that you can read them. You’re happy to take bathes and sleep to fill up the rest of your time, but admittedly you miss your meetings. Faintly you’re aware of the great power Laios holds over you as a king but he’d also the only man that hasn’t turned his nose down at you. Even with the upgrade in your residence the guards still snicker and sneer when they near you.

You’re awfully bored without him as a companion. In the end books aren’t very entertaining and taking too many baths makes your fur dry. The lack of contact with others drives you to taunt the guards. It created a nice distraction right up until they stopped responding at all.

So when the man finally shows onto your room you nearly leap into his arms. You hope your excitement isn’t too obvious.

Laios enters your room fully, closing the door behind him. He’s oddly quiet and the guards outside your door have been dismissed. “Is it alright if I sit?” He moves to rest at the edge of your bed. The man wears a serious expression but he sinks deeply into your soft mattress.

You struggle to think of what could have the normally cheerful man so quiet. His lips press together into a sharp line. “I have been very glad to have you indulge my questions… Though I believe that they’ve all been answered. I think Marcille is mad at me for letting you stay here so long.” His eyes don’t quite meet your face. Your ears flatten as you realize what he implies.

“I see.” Your disappointment is plain. You barely try to hide it though you feel a bit foolish for growing so comfortable. “Though I’m surprised you quieted your curiosity.” It’s a bad attempt at lightening the mood. Laios reacts strangely, staring resolutely at the floor.

You aren’t particularly good at reading others but the quiet here is like whispering in your ear. “Or you have found someone else to aim your questions at?” The idea doesn’t quite hit its mark. Laios responds much too openly.

“Ah no. Most people just get angry at me.” He looks very sad about it and you find yourself caring too much. You almost ask him to visit but that is much too forward. It’s more likely you will skip town and find another place to get arrested.

“Right well… I am glad you’ve told me in person.” The words sound lame. It’s not a proper goodbye.

Laios still doesn’t move. He seems comfortable in your bed. You would rather be the one sitting but you don’t want to move too close.

“I have… I have more questions truthfully, but I don’t think you would want to answer them.”

You blink. “I have answered them so far haven’t I?”

“Marcille scolds me for being too open. If she knew what I wanted to ask I’m sure she’d curse me.”

You stifle a laugh. “Most others would already considered my virtue compromised. I don’t think I had any in the first place.” Even as a theif you are aware of how people gossip. Whether you are a vagrant or a peasant little will change others view of you.

It takes you a moment but you gather all the maturity within yourself. “I’m happy to go, but you should not let others decide what I will be comfortable with.”

“I’m sure you’ll be mad.”

“Well I’m often mad so that’s fine.”

Laios’s shoulders relax and you’re sure he’ll ask another question of you.

—-

You stand nude. It’s more embarrassing than you expected. For all your criminal activity you’ve never been convicted for public nudity. Even on the rare occasions you’ve been observed naked it wasn’t as if the observer had any interest in you. Usually they were simply kicking you out of a bathhouse or spare room you tucked yourself into.

“There’s no fur on your stomach!” Laios in all his excitement forgets to ask before placing his hand over the area. The temperature difference pushes a weird noise from your throat. His hand is large, it covers half your skin. “Does it just not grow there?”

You struggle to respond. Laios looks at you with no issue but you feel… shy. Maybe for the first time in your life.

“Y-yea. It’s like that on my face and feet too.”

“I noticed that too. Isn’t it funny that plenty of humans grow hair one their faces but you don’t?” He has a strange idea of what funny is. You offer a tight smile and he seems satisfied by the reaction.

Laios finally takes his hand off your stomach. The skin there tingles in the aftermath.

“D-do you…” For the first time ever Laios looks embarrassed himself.

Encouraging him may be a bad idea but you urge him on cautiously. “It’s ok, you can ask.”

“I got yelled at last time.” The man scratches his head. “How many-“ he mumbles the last bit, “-nipples do you have?”

Your mouth drops open in surprise. Your face ignites in embarrassment and indigence.

“I-I’m asking because most animals have multiple! Even minotaurs have four. I mean you’re already naked.” At the reminder you’re quick to hold an arm over your breasts.

“Just the two… sorry.”

Laios does look slightly disappointed. “Your reproductive system is probably more similar to a humans. If you’re only having one or two kids at a time then that would make sense.” His eyes trace over your stomach again. It’s like he had x-ray vision.

The man stops touching you, instead walking around your entire body. He circles you four or five times. When he dips around your back you focus to make sure your tail stays still.

The appendage keeps lifting up and to the side. Once you noticed it you had tried your best to stop the behavior, but unless you focused on your tails actions it tended to move on its own.

Laios, as observant as always, notices. “Your tail does some funny things! I grew up with dogs so some of the behavior is familiar to me.” You don’t particularly enjoy the comparison.

“It just does what it wants most of the time. Most of it is random I think.” Your tail doesn’t exactly wag when you’re happy. About half of the time it agrees with you. Right now it’s an annoyance.

“I should’ve been keeping track better.” Laios sounds sorely disappointed in himself. His hand ghosts over the fur and then goes in closer. The way he suddenly holds your hips startles you. A disgrungtled noise escapes your lips. The odd squeak makes your cheeks burn.

“Sorry.” He releases you quickly enough but you stay in place. “Am I making you uncomfortable? We can be done.”

“It’s fine.” You should crawl into a hole and die but you doubt you can move.

“Are you sure?” He lingers behind you, hand hovering an inch or two away.

You have to answer through gritted teeth. “Yes.” When his hand goes back to your hip you don’t know whether you should stiffen or relax.

Laios stands closer now. Your back occasionally brushes against his chest. The only bothersome part is that your tail is squished upwards. It’s not painful but it is highly uncomfortable.

“What are you doing now?”

“Just feeling, it’s good to do that sometimes.” His hands move with purpose. They trace up your hips and under your arms. It’s quiet except for his breathing that warms the back of your neck.

“The difference between fur and your actual hair is interesting.” Laios brushes against your scalp but doesn’t comb through it. You’re glad, his clumsy fingers would just tangle it. “The fur sheds right?”

“Yes.”

“Right now?!” He runs a thumb over your neck, where your fur starts to grow in.

“Just a little I guess. It’s bits and pieces until the summer when it gets worse.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Itchy… and I ruin all my clothes.”

“Are you- do you turn, naked? O-or does the fur grow in thinner?”

“Thinner fur most places, but on my chest and neck I loose it completely.” You hide from his gaze as it shifts down to the area. You want to scold him for staring but you find it more embarrassing than something you’re truly uncomfortable with.

Laios scratches absentmindedly along the slope of your shoulder. His eyes narrow with concentration until thin flecks of grey pull free. The man seems pleased with the strands of fur that he’s pulled out. His eyes flicker back to your chest.

“You can touch it.” You have no idea what propelled you to say that but the words have already left your mouth. Afterwards you can’t do much except bite your tongue.

There’s such excitement in Laios’s eyes. “Can I really?” His hands are already poised to grope you. It’s almost off-putting but you nod your head.

His hands cup your breasts gently. Surprisingly you don’t have to hold back any noises or shudders. The warmth of his skin is pleasant but your fur dampens any erotic sensations. Laios squeezes, glances at your face, then squeezes again slightly harder. You frown slightly, if anything the handling is a little uncomfortable.

“That doesn’t feel good?” The man sounds slightly surprised. Almost immediately his hands fall back to his sides.

“Um, it feels fine. You can keep going if you want.” Most of your shyness disappears with the lackluster touch.

He’s blushing now, a pretty addition of color. “I want to figure out what makes you feel good…”

You don’t know how to respond. Laios is nice to you. His hands are sometimes a little too rough, but they’re warm. “Like, sex?” You’re embarrassed again.

For the first time you’re the one to surprise Laios. His mouth opens and then clamps it shut. “If that’s something you’re- uh, interested in.”

You took a long minute to consider if this was what you wanted. Something you were “interested” in. Laios had… technically, imprisoned you, or at least his laws led to the guards imprisoning you. But he was also a handsome and honest. His face was stained red as you stared at him intensely.

“Ok.” It was unlikely an opportunity like this would arise again. Sex wasn’t at the top of your bucket list but you didn’t want to give up the chance to actually enjoy yourself.

Laios seemed surprised again by your response. He didn’t move any closer for another minute or two. It wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he stumbled in your direction. One large hand moved to your hip.

“I’m not actually an expert.” Laios coughed into his hand. “So let me know if… somethings wrong.” It was unclear what that implied but you nodded dutifully.

After a deep breath the man moved in to kiss you. You were surprised that he chose a more innocent and soft action to begin with. You expected your hands to go right to your ass. His lips were clumsy but your own were as unfamiliar with the movements of a kiss.

The blond wastes lots of time exploring your body. His hands run up and down your stomach. They dip down to your thighs but don’t quite reach your pussy.

You pull Laios back until you bump into the table, sitting down on it. Your hands remain wrapped in his shirt. You’re not sure where else to put them.

When the man pulls back you feel slightly shy again. His eyes go straight to your cunt now that there’s no reason to avoid the area. The first touches are hesitant. Once the man is more sure of himself his thumb runs over your labia and spreads the lips apart. Your hairless center is exposed to his eyes. The cool air makes your quivering muscles tighten and relax.

Laios notices your slight wetness. His lips twitch excitedly. The man’s actions get more bold. His finger dips into your warm cunt. It’s thick and even a single digit spreads your hole wide open.

Both of you look down breathless as his finger thrusts in and out gently. Your foreheads bump together which prompts your eyes meet briefly.

“Does it feel good?”

“U-um it’s fine I guess.” The finger itself isn’t uncomfortable, but Laios’s pink face and his breath against your cheeks is much nicer. A sudden urge to kiss him strikes you again but you hesitate. Though the man is exploring your naked body the idea of gentle touching feels much more intimate.

He moves forward to sink the entirety of his finger inside of you. It’s still an odd feeling of just the right amount but nowhere near enough. Though once the digit is planted firmly inside your core it wiggles around slightly to rub against your walls.

More wetness slips from your core. It sticks to Laios’s finger and dries sticky on your thighs. The slick is enough to smooth the way for a second finger. This stretches your walls slightly but other than a heavy breath you manage not to react.

Laios is focused. His other hand grips your hips tightly. You barely wiggle but each time you shift his hand twitches at your side. The man’s head is tilted so far down it almost collides with your chest. You don’t need to see his eyes to know exactly where they’re pointed.

Eventually his fingers pull free from your hole. You expect him to try for a third but there’s too long of a pause. His actions are somewhat obscured. Though his hand becomes visible once more as it raises to his lips.

“That’s- That’s-“ You don’t know what else to say as the man licks his fingers. He dips his tongue in between them to get every drop of your slick.

“It’s a strange taste.” He laughs and you’re horrified. “Salty…”

You bite your tongue to stop yourself from scolding him. Instead you try to focus on the feelings more. Laios’s fingers go back in between your legs and thats much better.

There’s more exploration and it’s nice.

“Can I use my mouth?” The man sounds so excited. He smiles wide and continues to pet your walls gently.

You shake more. “Do… do people do that?” You know what sex is but some of the finer details escape your knowledge.

This time you finally manage to catch Laios off guard. His cheeks are a very pretty pink. “I’ve… read about it.” You’re not sure if you’re inclined to put your faith in his literary knowledge.

“If you bite me I’ll… rip your tongue off.” It’s a lame threat that rings hollow. Laios smiles weakly and kneels down. His hands pry your thighs even further apart so his head can sit between them.

“It’s warm,” he mumbles. You’re not expected to respond to it. Laios’s lips near your cunt and you resist the urge to shove him away or cry.

When they touch the outer lips of your labia you breathe out heavily. The feeling is almost ticklish as you tremble. Though as Laios pushes against you harder the arousal comes back. His lips are much softer than his fingers were. They’re soft and slow against the entrance of your core.

His tongue reveals itself and you bend over into his head. The feeling is wet and smooth as Laios sinks into your cunt further. He takes the map born from his fingers and retraces it with his lips. You weave your fingers into his hair and can’t decide where to guide him. Moans and whimpers fall from your lips without anything to stop their exit.

“W-wait I’ll-“ You’re familiar with the idea of an orgasm. Though the feeling pushing through your gut is frightening you know where it ends. It urges your thighs to squeeze Laios’s head and keep him in place. Your hips rock into the strokes of his tongue.

The man himself eagerly continues. He doesn’t mind how you try to suffocate him or the strange moans you let out.

Laios keeps his tongue inside of you even after your orgasm. His strokes are much softer now but you continue to twitch with overstimulation. You keep your hands in his hair to try and stable yourself.

The man laps at your cunt until he’s satisfied himself with the taste of it. He pulls away, cheeks and lips shiny and wet. His eyes are half-lidded and still focused on your core.

You slump backwards, breathless. Whining you push him backwards. He sits backwards on the floor and you’re slightly pleased to see his erection underneath his pants.

Laios scrambles upwards and hesitantly stands in front of you. He seems unsure of how to proceed.

“G-give me a second and then we can…” You’re unsure if he wants to fuck you properly or if his mouth was the end goal.

“Did it feel good?” The man looks slightly embarrassed but he seems pleased too.

“Yes.” You break eye-contact. There’s a very pretty pillar in the corner. The bottom of it twists into ornate curls.

Laios draws closer to tower over you once more. “I’m glad.” He pats your head gently and moves his hand to cradle your cheek.

You push past the gentle moment and move forward. Laios seems surprised when you move to tug at his waistband but he lets you drag it down. The shape of his cock is a little more clear through just his boxers. It’s plump and you don’t have anything to compare it to but the size is nice as well. The thought of putting it… well it’s not so large you’re frightened.

Before you reveal his cock to your eyes you glance upwards. “Take your shirt off.” It feels better if he strips off the rest of his clothes before revealing himself. You find a moment to breathe in the seconds it takes for the man to pull off the other layers he wears.

There is a good amount of muscle barely hidden under fine layers of fat. It is clear he is well fed. You find yourself jealous of his figure.

“Alright, underwear now.” If Laios will listen to your orders then you are content to watch. He slips his boots off and steps out of his pants. The man shows no shyness as he pulls his underwear off. You are the one who stares now.

Again you have never truly seen a cock. Glimpses of nude old men on the streets were not pleasurable nor sufficient. Laios is young and handsome which extends even between his legs.

“Can I touch?” You have the common sense to ask first though your hand is already moving forward.

With a nod you cradle his length in your palm. It’s warm and heavy, alive. You wrap your fingers around it, what you think is an acceptable tightness. Laios’s breath deepens and he leans towards you. His chest is warm against your shoulder. Each sigh echoes against your head.

Mostly you just feel his cock. You don’t have much intent on getting him off like this. Watching him twitch and shudder is entertaining enough. You spread your legs further apart and urge him forward.

Laios breathes heavily against your shoulder. “Sorry I might be bad… I’ve never done this part before.” You have to stifle a laugh and pull him closer still.

“Go slow.” You let the man position you, pushing and shifting until you’re a perfect display. You try your best to stay still but your legs shake slightly.

His cock is much scarier when it’s positioned right at your entrance. Though Laios is still slightly clumsy, gripping your arm much too tight, he takes his time moving. The head of his dick is suddenly right at your entrance. Both of you are once again staring right at your cunt. Your view is slightly worse but that makes the feeling even more intense.

The stretch isn’t as bad as you expect. There’s a soft pain but with gritted teeth you ignore it. Laios does his best to get you used to the stimulation, rocking slowly. He only plants himself a few inches in for now.

Though it’s clear the man has to restrain himself. He breathes very heavily. His grip on you was impossibly tight before but now you’re sure bruises will bloom tomorrow. You’re forced still to let Laios take control.

He finally plants himself inside of you fully and nearly crashes into your arms. You guide his hands around your waist and wrap your own around his neck. For a moment there’s reprieve. Laios shifts slightly but doesn’t attempt any big movements. A minute or two passes where you both simply breathe.

Very slowly he tries a thrust, pulling out only an inch or two before sinking back in. You let out a pathetic whine and bury your face into his shoulder. He repeats the movements a few times, pushing another small whine from your throat.

You don’t do much except hold onto Laios’s shoulders as he builds up a momentum. It is very gradual but you find yourself still startled each time there is an imperceptible shift in speed. The pace grows until a horrible squelch sounds from your bodies pressing together and pulling apart. Sweat makes your skin shiny and sticks weird to your fur.

Laios doesn’t struggle with the fast movements. His muscles are much more obvious in action. You did not care much for a sturdy man when they only used their strength to subdue you. As a support however you are happy to have him to lean on. There isn’t much else to ground you.

You let out an embarrassing chain of whimpers and more dog-like noises. Laios’s hand cradles your throat ever so gently. “I- hah, I still wonder what your v-vocal cords are like.” The casual statement coupled with his breathless voice and cock buried deep inside you is a horrible combination. You feel horrified as your cunt squeezes tighter. Laios shouldn’t be charming but you don’t hate his stupid… everything. You certainly don’t hate anything about him right now.

Once you catch your breath you force the man to kiss you again. His big mouth is much more bearable when it’s occupied. If he wasn’t fucking you right now you’d force him to use it once more.

His hand is off your neck but it hasn’t stopped traveling. It stops over your uterus. Very faintly he can feel how his dick shapes your insides. Though his true goal lies slightly lower. It does not take long for Laios to find your clit and promptly attack it.

At first his actions are slightly too aggressive but after a moment or two he finds a gentler movement.

All your focus falls to your cunt. Despite both of you being beginners to this activity Laios shows great talent. Once his fingers attached themselves to you the end was near.

You’re not sure if it’s good to try and warn the man once more of your climax. Your tongue is thick and slow. Instead all you can do is offer another kiss and fall into the feeling of pleasure.

Laios only overstimulates you for a thrust or two. He pulls out of you slowly, and takes his cock in his own hand. Within a few jerks of his wrist the man releases onto your thigh. You are too tired to complain, instead content to rest your head on his shoulder. Your companion does the same. He leans against the desk and falls into your form.

For a moment you share heavy breaths and slow caresses. Finally Laios clears his throat. “There’s probably a rag here somewhere.” He goes to full away but you let your claws prick his flesh.

“Stay.” It’s pleasing to have a king listen to your commands. He now shifts to come closer, lingering between your legs. You pull your head back, only enough to see his face. It’s pink and shiny with sweat but still rather attractive. Peeking downwards you mean to study his physique. Instead you notice the fur you’ve shed. Quickly enough you look back upwards to avoid any more embarrassment.

You’re entirely unsure of what to do now. The sex was good… but you had no idea if this was just another version of his odd questions. For a moment you feared he might still wish to cast you out.

Laios squeezed your hips gently. The movement was likely meant to be loving but it startled you upwards. Your forehead smacked against his chin and both of you let out a groan of pain.

You didn’t know whether to whine or laugh. Instead a weird combination of the two popped out of your mouth. It prompted a small smile from Laois, whose cheeks grew even redder.

The small exchange smoothed out the awkward air. You pulled away from Laios fully and ignored the cold air against your stomach and chest.

“You can stay, as long as you’d like by the way.” He leans in more.

“Ah, so was this all a trick to keep me here.” You’ve never been one to make jokes but you manage a cheeky smile.

“I-it wasn’t! You can go if you want.” He moves to back up but you’re quick to snatch his wrist.

“I’ll stay.”

[gothicxreylover]

I loved the kitsune y/n au. Could do a Yandere hashiras plus Kamaboko squad (your choice) maybe Aoi and Kanao where the S/O is a Dog Yokai. The have dog ears, tail, super sense of smell but they don't transform into their real form not because of they're keeping it a secret but because when they transform they have huge soft paws though good for attacking (claws) not good for holding things. Like this: *not mine*

Plus maybe they have dog instincts like chasing squirrels, digging, burying this. They just can't help it even when they aren't transformed. Plus they have beefs with cats. Maybe they climb up trees and don't know how to get down. (Can see obanai climbing up to retrieve them). Since they're Yokai they don't eat humans but protect them. They could be kakushi.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Hello! Here’s your request and I kinda went overboard and wrote the whole cast of hashiras and the Kamaboko squad. Sorry if some scenarios are longer than others but overall enjoy!

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Rengoku

Rengoku had a booming laugh that echoed across the training grounds as he watched you dart after a squirrel during one of his lectures on courage and bravery.

“You’ve got the spirit of a warrior, my friend!” he cheered as you returned, sheepishly wagging your tail, squirrel long gone.

One day, during a mission, you lost focus, distracted by the scent of flowers in the forest. You began chasing after it, only to trip on a root and land ungracefully in a bush. Rengoku hurried over, lifting you effortlessly. “You’re quite a handful, aren’t you?” he teased, brushing leaves off your tail.

Later, during a campfire, you accidentally wagged your tail into the flames. Panicked, you jumped up, and Rengoku was quick to extinguish the embers. “Be careful, precious companion!” he said, helping smooth out the singed fur. From then on, he made sure you sat far from the fire during their gatherings, ever the watchful protector.

Sanemi

Sanemi was harsh with you, initially skeptical of your intentions. “A Dog Yokai? You expect me to trust you because you wag your tail?”

But his attitude shifted during a mission. You were part of the Kakushi crew cleaning up after a battle when you caught the scent of a lingering demon. Without hesitation, you charged, your claws extended, and tore it down before it could harm anyone. Sanemi, watching from a distance, couldn’t deny your loyalty or strength.

However, that respect was tested when he found you burying his sword in the dirt. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he roared. You froze, ears flattened and tail tucked in shame. Despite his shouting, Sanemi sighed, eventually helping you dig it back up. “You’re lucky I don’t hold grudges,” he muttered, patting your head roughly before walking off.

Giyuu

Giyuu didn’t say much when you first joined the Kakushi, but he always seemed to be quietly watching you. You often got distracted during missions, sniffing out scents or chasing small animals. Others would scold you, but Giyuu never did.

One evening, you chased a cat up a tree and found yourself stuck at the top, your paws too clumsy to climb back down. Giyuu stood beneath the tree, staring up at you. “Do you need help?” he asked calmly. Embarrassed, you whimpered softly. Without hesitation, he climbed up, his movements smooth and practiced.

“You need to be more careful,” he said as he helped you down. Though his tone was stern, his touch was gentle. Later, you found him brushing leaves off your tail in silence. You realized then that, despite his reserved demeanor, Giyuu cared deeply for your well-being.

Obanai

Obanai constantly pretended to be annoyed by you. “Do you have to chase every single cat?” he’d grumble, Kaburamaru flicking his tongue in agreement. But he was always the first to climb up after you when you inevitably got stuck in a tree.

One day, after you’d gotten yourself stranded yet again, Obanai sighed heavily, muttering under his breath as he scaled the tree. “You’re hopeless,” he said as he lifted you into his arms. Kaburamaru slithered onto your shoulder, nuzzling you reassuringly.

Back on the ground, Obanai brushed the dirt off your fur. “You’re lucky I’m patient,” he muttered, though the small smile tugging at his lips betrayed his words.

Tengen and His Wives

The flamboyant Sound Hashira and his wives adored your playful energy. Suma would squeal in delight whenever your tail wagged, Makio would scold you for digging up the garden, and Hina would quietly smile as she helped clean up the mess.

One afternoon, Tengen decided to “train” you, setting up a flashy obstacle course in the yard. “Come on, show me what those Yokai instincts can do!” he cheered. You tried your best, but halfway through, you got distracted by a butterfly and wandered off.

“Distracted already? You’re hopeless!” Makio shouted, hands on her hips. But Suma rushed to your side, giggling as she brushed dirt off your fur. “Don’t be mean, Makio! They’re just adorable!”

Hina quietly handed you a water bottle, her calm presence soothing your embarrassment. Tengen laughed, ruffling your hair. “You’re perfect the way you are, fluffy tail and all.”

Mitsuri

Mitsuri absolutely adored you. She would often gush about your ears and tail, squealing in delight whenever you let her pet them.

One day, you were sparring when a squirrel darted past. Instinct took over, and you bolted after it, leaving Mitsuri behind. By the time you returned, out of breath and empty-pawed, she was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.

“You’re just the cutest!” she cried, pulling you into a tight hug. Later, when you got stuck in a hole you’d dug too deep, she was the first to help you out, her strength surprising you. “You don’t need to be embarrassed,” she reassured you, patting your ears lovingly.

Shinobu

Shinobu was endlessly amused by your quirks, often teasing you with her sharp wit. One day, you accidentally dug up her medicinal garden, your instincts getting the better of you.

“Ah, I see you’ve decided to help me replant everything,” she said sweetly, though her smile sent a chill down your spine. You spent the rest of the day helping her fix the damage, her playful taunts keeping you on edge.

Despite her teasing, Shinobu always made sure you were well cared for, quietly bandaging your paws after a long day of digging.

Gyomei

Gyomei treated you with a calm reverence that made you feel at peace. One evening, after a particularly chaotic day, you sat beside him as he prayed.

“Your heart is pure,” he said softly, resting a large hand on your head. “Your instincts may lead you astray, but your loyalty is unwavering.”

When you got stuck in some ropes during a mission, Gyomei untangled you without complaint, his patience seemingly infinite. You couldn’t help but feel safe under his watchful care.

Muichiro

Muichiro didn’t react much to your antics, often staring blankly as you chased after squirrels or buried random objects. But one day, during a mission, you found yourself cornered by a demon, unable to use your paws to defend yourself properly.

Before you could call for help, Muichiro appeared, dispatching the demon with ease. “You should be more careful,” he said, his tone indifferent. But later, you caught him brushing dirt off your tail, his actions speaking louder than his words.

Aoi

Aoi tried to keep you in line, but your instincts always seemed to get the better of you. One day, you buried the medical supplies she’d just unpacked, thinking they were meant to be hidden.

“Why do you always do this?!” she shouted, dragging you back to the garden to dig everything up. Despite her frustration, she couldn’t stay mad for long. After you gave her an apologetic look, she sighed, scratching behind your ears. “Just don’t do it again, okay?”

Kanao

Kanao was endlessly patient with you, often helping you manage your instincts. One day, you proudly presented her with a “gift” you’d dug up—a shiny rock.

She smiled softly, accepting it without hesitation. “Thank you,” she said, placing it in her pocket. From then on, you made it a habit to bring her little treasures, and she kept every single one.

Tanjiro and Nezuko

Tanjiro always guided you gently, helping you stay focused during missions. When you got distracted, he’d patiently lead you back, his kind smile reassuring you.

Nezuko adored playing with your tail, often curling up beside you for naps. One day, when you got stuck in a tree, she climbed up with surprising ease, pulling you down with a giggle.

Genya

Genya pretended to be annoyed by you, but he was fiercely protective. During a mission, when you charged at a demon to protect him, he scolded you afterward.

“Stop acting like a dumb mutt!” he snapped, though his concern was obvious. Later, he quietly thanked you, patting your head awkwardly.

Inosuke

Inosuke saw you as a rival, constantly challenging you to digging contests or races. “Let’s see who’s the better beast!” he’d shout, only to get frustrated when you inevitably beat him with your Yokai strength.

Despite his competitiveness, he was fiercely protective of you and would fight anyone who tried to harm you. “This mutt’s part of my pack!” he’d declare, puffing out his chest.

Zenitsu

Zenitsu adored you but was also terrified of your Yokai strength. He’d often panic when you got too excited, especially when you chased after squirrels or started digging up random objects.

“Wait, wait, stop! You’re going to get us in trouble!” he’d wail, running after you. Despite his fear, he couldn’t resist patting your ears and marveling at your fluffy tail.

[lanterns-and-daydreams]

SOME TIG CHB HEADCANONS!!

-Xander is a Hephaestus kid.

-Grayson and Avery are Athena kids.

-Jameson and Rohan are Hermes kids.

-They hate that they're related and keep hiding each other's things and then fighting about it.

-Libby is Hecate's daughter.

-she sometimes uses potions in her baked goods.

-Thea is Aphrodite and Rebecca is from the Demeter cabin.

-Gigi and Savannah are Apollo's kids.

-Nash is Ares. Not all Ares kids are bad give em a break.

-Max is Apollo's kid.

-Jameson LOVES the climbing wall.

-Grayson loves the lake.

-He's friends with Percy and sometimes they both just sit down near the lake in silence and in comfort of each other's presence.

-Annabeth and Avery hang out and give each other riddles to solve.

-Xander is best friends with Leo and you'd think they're attached at the hip with how much mischief they get up to together and how they're always sitting around building things.

-TIRAMISU RIDING FESTUS'S HEAD WEARING A TINY PUPPY PAWTHORNE SIZED PARTY HAT!!!

-Xander knows about Bunker 9.

-Him and Leo call it their 'Super Secret Hawthorne-Valdez Hangout Forge"

-Drew and Thea do each other's makeup and help each other dress up.

-Wherever you find the Stolls, you will find Max.

-They're always giggling with each other, and when you look over at them, they will pretend they were doing nothing.

-Avery and Max love having sleepovers in each other's cabins.

-Max is amazing at Archery and playing the piano.

-Gigi, however, sucks at Archery, while Savannah is great at it.

-Clarisse looks up to Nash and actually acknowledges him as her older brother.

-They often train together.

-Everytime Libby learns a new spell, she always runs over to either Avery it Nash to show them.

-She has the greatest witch cackle in all of camp.

-Grayson’s weapon is a longsword.

-Max uses a bow.

-Savannah uses a gun, despite how limited it is.

-Jameson uses a javelin.

-Nash just fights with his bare hands (you go bro. Heizou would love you).

-He has a thing where he whispers a very low "yeehaw" under his breath before he beats the shit out of you.

-Avery uses a sword

-Thea has a dagger. It's decorated with roses and coated in poison.

-Rebecca uses her ability.

-Gigi has an axe.

-Rohan has an electric spear.

-Xander uses his machinery and things he's built.

-Xander and Leo often joke about their height difference.

-Rohan has beef with the Aphrodite kids.

-He was also constantly throwing jabs at Apollo as Lester.

-Lester wrote a poem about him where he's a slimy slug.

-Nobody knows why Rohan is like that but everyone knows he's a hater who only likes Savannah.

-The one time Jameson had to go to the Oracle for a prophecy in the attic (before Rachel became one), he was comically under prepared and when the Oracle started speaking, he screamed like a little girl and threw a shoe at it.

-He hates the attic now, even though the Oracle isn't there anymore he never even walks by the staircase.

-Grayson plays games (pinocle, cards, etc.) with Mr. D.

-He's very salty about being forced to wear a bright orange t-shirt.

-He accepted his fate and decided to wear a full sleeved baggy one with the sleeves rolled up.

-Jameson makes fun of him.

-Everytime Grayson sees Nico he asks him if he's eaten, he doesn't even know when he basically adopted this emo kid, he just remembers Nico being around when Gigi hung out with Will.

-Will is a sucker for Libby's cookies.

-He gives her stickers in exchange for cookies. Stickers are basically their currency now.

-Jameson thinks Hazel is very cool. Like damn, you can control rocks and gems? That's awesome!

-Nash is very protective of Frank. Like, no, the rest of the cabin can't be mean to him for being soft. no.

-Rebecca and Piper get along so well.

-The brothers get VERY competitive during Capture the Flag, and it's a show to watch when they're on opposite teams.

-Lyra is a Hunter of Artemis. (I'm not so sure about her I haven't read tgg yet. IM SORRY 👹 👹)

-Slate is Nemesis's kid. He's emo.

[solar4seekstron]

Better shooter than me Part 1

Tf4!Crosshairs x Cybertronian!GN!Reader Oneshot

Part Two

Content: 16+

TW/Tags: Mostly fluff, Crosshairs is falling for reader hard, Love my angry green boi, Hound is a good pal of reader, basically just building up the next chapter, y’all know how i write lmao. That should be all.

Introduction Movie Oneshot Masterlist

You were always with the Autobots. But ever since the humans came after you and the others. Forcing you all to go into hiding since the end of the decepticons. Things haven’t been any easier.

You always stood up for Optimus. Being one of his oldest friends and all.

Always by his side. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t trust his judgement. You’ll admit you doubted his thoughts and words towards the humans. But said nothing.

You’re not even sure why even now. Ever since you separated from the others. You were able to get a signal from a few other bots.

You realized it was from your old friend Hound.

You and him both friends before you all separated when coming to earth. Though you weren’t expecting the two colorful bots with him.

You and drift immediately having a playful beef that isn't that serious. It being you both use swords. Though you use one. The green one being crosshairs didn’t seem that too impressed.

Until Hound mentioned that you were a former weapon specialist and could easily build a gun from nothing but scrap. Something he learned about you throughout the years of war.

While Crosshairs worked with a different group of Autobots and Drift was a decepticon still at the time.

And so the four of you stayed close. Staying in your alt modes most of the time during the day until you all can find a new place to hide from the humans.

The chance of getting a signal from Optimus or any other bot seems to only wore thin with each passing day. One day when hiding in a garage ka bunch of teen boys walked around. Spray painting the walks and such.

Everyone can tell Crosshairs was getting anxious. Luckily for him. Because you alt mode was a Porsche truck. Which apparently is seen as boring to kids these days.

They start insulting your alt mode. Patting at the side and getting ready to spray paint the hood. Writing “shit” on it. They barely got to the “I” when Crosshairs and Drift transormerd and basically traumatized the kids.

After they left Hound made the call for them to leave. You all driving to another location far enough from them.

Once far enough after driving for an hour. You and the others were able to transform and stretch you arms and legs. The three mechs looking at your chest.

The words “Shi” sprayed on your chest with yellow paint. Hound tried to not laugh as drift just side.

Crosshiars not saying much as you tried to take off the paint. Crosshairs was the one who suggested you have a new alt mode. And so you got one. Getting rid of the paint as a new color covers your body.

That’s when you guys finally got the call. You being in your alt mode when changing vehicles.

You all then made your way to this desert in a line.

———————————————————————————-

You all got closer and closer. Soon driving alongside Bee who also got Optimus call.

Soon enough Crosshairs was the first to transform when by Optimus. You doing the same he Optimus stopped near you. You transforming as drift got close as well.

Crosshiars tried to not stare. Drift being the one ot hit his arm with a smirk. The other speaking as they take turns. When Optimus transformed he had a new look.

You looked up at him and smiled. Crosshiars seemed to notice and grew a bit jealous.

You didn’t speak much when the humans were out. You standing next to bee unbothered as Hound and Crosshairs grew mad about the humans.

You and Optimus taking a moment to speak as the others investigate the humans.

Crosshairs to be glancing at him. Until hound grabbed his helm making him look down as e chuckled. “Watch it kid.” Crosshiars was annoyed and let out the groan as bee poked at the female.

You and Optimus speaking about not trusting the humans and more. Later he announces he’ll find the person who is hunting them down. Later you and the others watch the video of one of your comrades being attacked.

You looked away unable to watch.

Optimus standing and placing his cervo on your shoulder as comfort. Crosshairs glaring before looking away. A little more jealous.

Later that morning when at the abandon house Crosshiars spoke to Optimus. You were transformed and watched.

You’d then transform as Crosshairs left. Optimus still stood there. He’d then look at you. His frown gone when he saw you. Having a small smile as he spoke.

“Watch him. Make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.”

You’d nod and transform. Following him. From there you followed him back into he desert. Staying behind a mountain as he transformed. He started practice shooting with his weapon.

Putting up small cans he found on the ground at times. After a few moments he yelled. “You can come out. I know our oh so great leader sent you.”

You walked from behind the mountain with your cervo on the handle of your sword.

“Apologies, I am his most loyal soldier after all.” You responded as you got closer. He only scoffed as he looked over his gun. Responding as he doesn’t look at you.

”Of course. One of Optimus lap dogs doing his bidding.” You raised an optic ridge as he spoke. He seems to be struggling with his gun and trys shooting again.

But before he can pull the trigger you grabbed the top of it. Stopping him. He spoke. A bit mad as he turned to you.

”Are you bloody mad?” You let out a chuckle before taking the gun. Turning away as he stands there.

”I’ve worked with guns more times then you can probably count.” You start working on the gun.

Crosshiars looking over your shoulder watching as you fix up his gun. He was surprised as you soon spinned it them started shouting the cans flawlessly.

He stared at the cans before looking back at you as you had a grin on your dermas as you hand his gun back.

”Now try it.” He took the gun and started shooting.

Testing out the gun. He was surprised and looked back at you. You didn’t notice the way his optics stared at you as they soften. You looking at the fallen cans with your cervo on you sword handle once more.

“Thanks…” He said quietly, causing you to look at him. “You’re welcome.”

Crosshairs just smiled at you as you walked away.

Taking a seat on a big rock against the mountain as he continues. Later bragging about his weapons and how he learned to build weapons himself.

You two of you even flirting a bit before being called back to the empty house to the others. Something told you that you both are going to be good pals after dealing with your current enemy.

Oh BOY! Can’t wait to post part 2! This was a lot of fun to write and I cant wait for part 2 to release and post. It was hard not writing in scenes that I plan to add in my bayverse series. Which might be a while from now since this is in the fourth film. I wanted to write in interactions for the future couple goals.

I hope you guys still liked it. I love interacting with people who ask about my work and all. Lol.

As always a repost is appreciated and and I’ll see you guys in Part 2!!!

[weepingtalecowboy]

Legend as echoes of wisdom link lol but confusing

Fanfic prompt : after Linked universe he decided to go visit Nayru and the other oracles again and then seeing the harp of ages

Realized how he can help Hyrule

Because if the harp can let him travel back several centuries then why not go forward

Because that way he can stop ganon from being revived and Hyrule can maybe travel back with him

He and then travels forward in time and then tries to orientate himself about where the hell he even is… then he sees the riffs through time and assumes that dark link has to learn his lesson again and goes in

He doesn’t appreciate the void for taking his voice… he kind of needs it to figure out where the heck Hyrule is because this one certainly looks too colorful to be the same one Hyrule is from… at least not in the next decades or so

Forests still need to grow after all but good for him that he succeeded eventually

Then he meets lueberry and they figure something out to go create the sword out off the crystal Legend dragged out of ,… hell he supposes

The cloak is cool though

So legend goes beefing with the random copies… so unoriginal of dink to go around and summon even more black blooded monsters or something

Well at least he now has the ability to use gps to find out where the next portal appears

And at some point finds out this Hyrule's Zelda is kidnapped and it sucks but maybe a new link will spawn or something

Then he and ganon get to beef ,,and surprisingly ganon remembers him (talking about the importance of friendship lol )

He then gets sent back to the void but manages to free the new Zelda

Then he at some point finds a random ugly ball thing… man, dink really down graded

He finds it with the club he found chases after it then goes and blocks it before the new Zelda …Nelda can go get kidnapped again

Then legend gets Zelded and now knows how much it must have sucked for fable and Nelda

…he only wanted to go visit Hyrule why must it always be an adventure

He will blame him for it later

He also gets the triforce of courage back while Zelded

Then Nelda is back…but it’s two Neldas now

He then gets freed by one after …she copies (?) a bunch of .. beds (?) and kills the other one

Well , let’s hope it’s the good one who kills the other one he always had problems with Hilda

Then he fights an eldritch abomination and uses the ..prime energy (?) to go restore Hyrule

And his voice is back so the first thing he does is ask , “hey , what’s the date and where the fuck am I .?”

He is surprised when the king turns out not to be an asshole

And fucks off into the RIGHT time promising everyone to stay in contact via the post man

Hyrule wakes up to “I fought the embodiment of nothingness and got vored to visit you be fucking grateful”

He is more confused than he was happy about his brother's return

[darkchaogarden-blog]

What Sonic and friends bring to the barbecue:

Sonic: Hot dogs, naturally, but with chili and condiments in separate containers, because he’s finally, begrudgingly, accepted that not everyone wants chili dogs all the time like he does.

Tails: A big bowl of salad, made up of the various salads he’s tried, and failed, to get Sonic to eat with his chili dogs whenever it’s lunch time.

Knuckles: Basket of various fruits and edible plants picked across Angel Island that he swears on his ancestors are better than any of the processed junk Sonic eats. Provided that the fruit and veggies he brought aren’t the poisonous ones that are near indistinguishable from the non poisonous ones. He’s pretty sure he picked the non poisonous ones. Almost certainly.

Amy: Plate of tofu dogs, mainly for Sonic, Tails, and Cream (as they are her boyfriend, little brother, and little sister, respectively,) at the expense of everyone else. Anyone else who are not those three so much has go near the dogs gets the hammer. When no one is looking she’ll sneak a chili dog or five for herself.

Cream: Tub of homemade ice cream that she made all by herself and is super proud of that Vanilla knows for a fact will be too sweet for everyone else and keeps a packet of Tums for anyone brave enough to try it.

Big: A massive fish that he quite literally just caught that day for the barbecue that he intends to prepare and cook on the spot. By the time it will be gone everyone else is packing up to go. It will be the best fish anyone had ever tasted, though.

Vanilla: Plain, simple sliders and cold cuts, just so that everyone not name Sonic will have something normal to eat.

Vector: His best, and only, tuxedo and monocle, convinced he can turn the barbecue into a date between himself and Vanilla. (It’s also a distraction for Espio and Charmy to sneak off with the food so that they will have something in the fridge for the next month or two, but mostly it’s a chance at a date with Vanilla.)

Espio: His sword and armor to fend off Amy for when while Charmy makes off with the food, especially her tofu dogs (which he wants most of all the food, even though Vector told him to ignore it. Espio will not be denied.)

Charmy: The tupperware containers, supposedly, to steal the food with, but left them at home, and immediately forgets about helping Vector and Espio when he sees Cream brought her homemade ice cream.

Shadow: What started as a simple beef stew then quickly turned into an amalgamation of ingredients because he felt it wasn’t “ultimate” enough. Now a vat of what can only be described as “substance.” Tails takes it home for further study.

Rouge: An ice sculpture she…burrowed from a police ball she attended. She doesn’t remember when she stole it nor how she kept it cold for so long.

Omega: Is the barbecue grill.

Topaz: Is the grill master.

Blaze: Her whole kitchen staff to make a feast worthy of a king. They have a grill off against Topaz and Vanilla for the right to cook the food and shockingly lose. They then spend the rest of the day following Vanilla’s instructions on how to make boxes lunches.

Silver: His telekinesis powers to carry all of the kitchen equipment. At first annoyed when the kitchen staff lose and weren’t going to use the kitchen he worked hard to get between dimensions but settles down once he tries Cream’s ice cream (and then immediately passes out from the sugar rush.)

Marine: Was the one to convince Blaze to leave the castle for a chance to relax.

Babylon Rogues: Weren’t invited but show up anyway to show off their homemade dish, said to have been passed down from generation to generation. However, beforehand, Jet and Wave got into an argument about how to make it and ended up making two versions of the same dish. Jet’s version deviates from the recipe the most, with too many spices and sauces added on, while Wave’s dish is exact but is bland and flavorless because Jet used up most of the seasoning. They make up by feeding their food to Storm and just stealing all the rest at the barbecue.

[thefireintheshadow]

He’d done it. He’d gotten his mending book.

[authors note: this seems like a cute little fic about grian and his mending book but it is in fact a dark mafia fic jsyk…]

Grian couldn’t believe it had finally happened. It was so surreal that he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

He went through the motions of cleaning himself up. It felt good to shave, see some color on his cheeks. Even his eyes were brighter.

When he returned to the dock to clean up all of his fishing gear, there was a silhouette in the setting sun. He couldn’t make out who it was, a broad frame almost haloed in glittering red.

“Hello, Grian.”

He squinted. “Beef?” As he grew closer, he could make out the source of the glittering, a suit that appeared to be crafted from salmon scales. “Wow.”

“Been doing a lot of fishing lately?” Beef asked, running a hand up one of the pillars of the little hut.

Something felt off in Grian’s gut. Something in his friend’s tone felt…predatory. It couldn’t be. This was Beef. He was one of the sweetest guys around. “You could say that,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. “But I’m all good now, got my mending book.”

“Is that so?” Beef cocked a brow, and stuck both hands in his pockets, as if on a casual stroll. Something in his gait screamed danger, though, and was this just too much time spent in death games? Was this overflow from Secret Life and Demise and—

Beef stopped on the block over Grian’s storage room. No.

“Why don’t you come on downstairs?” Beef asked, but it was hardly a request. “Because somehow I don’t think you’re all good.”

He pulled out a handful of seeds and composted them, disappearing through the floor.

Grian’s pulse thundered in his ears. What the hell was going on? How did Beef find out about his secret area? And what the hell was up with that suit? His head spun.

On the surface this would look like a fun prank. A bit.

But it didn’t feel like a bit. It didn’t feel fun.

He didn’t want to go down there.

But something told him he needed to, some instinct buried deep. Though surely Beef just wanted to make a deal for something in the chests down there, right?

Heart hammering, he composted and dropped down.

But there was nobody there. His guts twisted. Beef meant down downstairs. This was getting weirder and weirder, and that sense of danger felt sharper and heavier.

He dropped down into the cave and his heart ceased to work.

He couldn’t quite register at first the tableau in front of him. His gaze zeroed in on Mumbo’s face, beautiful skin marred by blood and tears.

“Grian! They’ve gone-” Mumbo cried, but his words choked off on a scream as a sickening snap echoed and suddenly time seemed to stop.

Grian’s ears buzzed, as if no other senses other than his sight were capable of working at a time. Mumbo was on his knees, hands behind his back, face twisted in pain. Skizz stood behind him, muscled arms gleaming as he took the kneeling man’s disheveled hair in one of his fists.

Skizz didn’t look quite right, though. His eyes were too big, almost bulbous, and too far apart. His face shone with what Grian had at first thought was sweat, but no, it was as if his skin were made of…scales? And nowhere was that soft, sweet, fun-loving Skizz energy. He looked maniacal. A maniacal, half-mutated fish man.

And Beef. Beef in his salmon-scaled suit, still cool as a cucumber, hands in his pockets, watching the scene with detachment.

Grian sucked in a deep, ragged breath as his lungs screamed for air, and time seemed to start again, his brain somehow catching up with the fact that he couldn’t just watch the scene forever.

“Walk with me, Grian,” Beef said, strolling towards the redstone door.

“No!” Grian cried, his entire body quivering. “What are you doing to Mumbo? Skizz!” He took a step forward, but in a flash, Skizz jerked Mumbo’s head back, exposing the tender flesh of his throat, and pressed a glittering diamond sword against it.

“I already broke his wrist, want another lesson?” he warned, and something was wrong with his voice, it sounded so distorted.

“My associate here will take good care of Mumbo,” Beef said as the door opened. “I’d like you to show me this room.”

Grian swallowed hard, staring at Mumbo with desperate eyes, the man he cared about most in this world, the man he’d do anything for. Somehow, somehow he’d fucked up and now Mumbo was in pain and there was fucking nothing he could do. Why hadn’t he brought any weapons down here? Why hadn’t he acted on his instincts up there…god.

A drop of crimson beaded on Mumbo’s throat, and he hissed in pain.

“You’d better go, your little friend has thin skin,” Skizz warned gleefully.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Grian said, forcing his feet to move, one in front of the other, towards Beef, towards the door…away from Mumbo. “Please stop hurting him.” The words came out so disgustingly weak sounding, and he hated it. He wanted to press his thumbs into Skizz’s mutant eyes until they popped out of his fucking head, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.

Skizz lowered the sword at least, and Grian scurried after Beef into the manifest room.

“Tell me about this,” Beef said once the door closed behind them, spreading his arms.

“It’s my…my manifesting mending room,” Grian said, and it sounded so stupid now. He had to admit he’d gone a little batshit with all of that fishing, with his obsession. What did this have to do with Beef and Skizz, though?

Beef pursed his lips, shaking his head. “It looks to me like a cod-worshipping room,” he said.

Grian’s blood rushed through his ears. Was this what this was all about? Types of fish? “No, they were just, easier to build statues of,” he insisted. “The color palette-”

“I don’t believe you,” Beef snarled, and his blazing anger was so jarring after being calm for the entire exchange. “Big Cod is trying to get a foothold here and my employer is not going to let that happen.”

“What are you talking about?” Grian asked, head spinning. “This is literally just for me, you can see my painting at the other end-”

“I saw the painting,” Beef interrupted, turning his back, clasping his hands there, walking down the platform to look at the painting in question. “Quite an expensive piece, for a fisherman.”

Grian scrubbed his hands down his face. “Well I’m not just a fisherman-”

“No, you’re not,” Beef said, whirling on his heel. “You know, my original thought when I was tasked with eliminating the cod threat was just to blow this whole thing to hell with you inside it.” He raised a finger. “But I thought, no need to make such a mess. I think I can bring you to heel with the right motivation.”

As if in cue, the redstone door opened, and Skizz dragged Mumbo in, shoving him back to his knees. His nose was freshly bleeding, and he looked about to collapse completely.

“Beef, please, whatever you think this is, it’s not,” Grian begged, whirling back towards him. “I swear I don’t know anything about…big cod-I just-”

There was a thump and Mumbo groaned.

Grian whirled again as Skizz pressed his boot against the man’s back, shoving him into the floor.

“Stop hurting him!” Grian cried, turning back to Beef. “Please, what do you need me to do? Just stop hurting him!”

Beef reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar – since when did he smoke? – and flicked a zippo, taking his time lighting it evenly. He puffed, then tossed the zippo over his shoulder, landing it neatly at the bottom of the painting.

It went up quickly. Grian watched the flames, swallowing hard. He was happy to trade the painting for Mumbo’s safety, but it was still hard to watch it go up like that.

“Since you have your mending book, you won’t be needing that anymore,” Beef said, smoke trailing as he strolled up the walkway, free hand back in his pocket. “And since you’re certainly not working for Big Cod, you won’t need this room anymore. Dismantle it. Destroy it.” He pointed at Grian, cigar smoldering between his fingers. “I will be checking. And you don’t want to have this meeting again, do you? Who could I motivate you with next? Gem? Or how about Scar?”

Grian shook his head vigorously. “No, you don’t have to motivate me, I’ll do it.” He took a step back. “Please, just let Mumbo go and I’ll do it right now.”

Beef patted him on the cheek, chuckling as the sickly-sweet smoke made him cringe. “Yes you will,” he said, and stalked past him, snapping his fingers on his way by Skizz. “Kill him.”

Grian screamed, launching himself towards them, but he was too late, Skizz stabbed Mumbo through the back of the skull and Grian landed on the hard floor, next to the bundle of bloodied ropes left behind.

“I don’t want to see your face on the surface until it’s done,” Beef said as Skizz crossed the threshold. “Or else.”

The door closed, leaving Grian alone and sobbing on the floor.

[read on ao3]

[elexuscal]

lay down neither your heads nor your swords

summary: Temeraire's bill does not pass. Laurence consoles him. (read on ao3) -------------------

Though it had been almost four years since the end of the war, there still was not many spaces within London which would fit a dragon of his size. He could have retired in Hyde Park, but that would have been exposed to the public, and he very much did not wish to face them, just now. Even here, in the London covert, having so many friends and acquaintances flying by constantly, their voices a babble, was nearly too much.

Thankfully, his mood must have been plain from how he laid sprawled on the cold flat stone ground, his ruff drooping, his eyes half-lidded. No one tried to speak to him, nor tried to bother him.

Almost no one.

There came the soft padding noise of boots upon the flagstone. Temeraire did not turn towards them.

"My dear, will you not come eat? I will admit to prevailing myself upon the cook, and it was one of your favourites— braised beef on rice, with those Incan chilies you are so partial to—"

"I am not hungry," Temeraire said.

Laurence's hand came to rest upon his muzzle, a bloom of warmth which somehow always seemed larger than it was. "I am sorry, Temeraire," he said. "It was a painful defeat, to be sure, even if not wholly unexpected. But—"

"No!" Temeraire exclaimed, interrupting, raising his head at last, ruff erect. "No buts! This loss should not have been expected, no matter what you all say. It should not have happened at all!"

Laurence's face was filled with horrible sympathy. "My dear--"

"Our bill was excellent," Temeraire pressed on. "Not perfect, surely, we made concessions; certainly, we made concessions! But nonetheless, the core of it was unaltered— That core was well-crafted—

It would have made material improvements across such a vast swathe of policies. For women, for immigrants, for dragons, for the poor—"

"I know," Laurence said.

"No one could have voted against it! No one of any sense, at least!" And then he drooped; his head, his tail, his body entire. "But they did vote against it. Even Pertinax, and he is a dragon." That, more than anything, baffled Temeraire, baffled him so badly that betrayal was a distant second emotion. He had thought— it had seemed obvious— that having more dragons in Parliment ought to strengthen their coalition.

Laurence stepped closer, until his entire side was pressed against Temeraire's chest. Temeraire could not see him at such an angle, but that made the conversation somehow easier. "Men do not always vote according to what will bring the most material benefit to the greatest number or the most deserving. They vote in accordance to their own interests, or that of their friends, and do not look very far past their own noses, I am afraid." He sighed. "And even those who do so without any true selfishness or malice, may nonetheless vote out of ignorance, or upon gut feeling, and in doing so cut off their own nose to spite the face."

Temeraire growled, and could not even make himself fully dampen the resonance of the divine wind within it. "Then they are fools."

To this, Laurence had no answer and no argument.

They stood like that for a long while. Laurence still and solemn, Temeraire staring forward, his only movement the lashing of his tail.

It could have been a minute; it could have been fifteen— Temeraire did not know. But he said, "What now?"

"We— we take stock," Laurence said. "We take time to recover; today, tomorrow, perhaps even a week. Then we return to the drawing board. Re-word the Bill, or begin drafting a new one entirely. Reach out to our constituents, make arrangements with our allies, and institute what improvements we can, in those spheres where we still have influence." He hesitated, and said, "As you well know, it was a long, hard political battle against the slave trade. With each loss, it seemed the wind threatened to desert the movement's sails. But my Father never gave up, nor his allies, and eventually, they prevailed."

Temeraire peered down at Laurence, somewhat concerned, for he had never liked to speak much upon his father; even less so, since his death. But on this one subject, the two had no quarrelled, and there was no grief in his companion's eyes, only steel. "Yes," Temeraire said, slowly.

"And, if I may—" Laurence ran his hand down the length of Temeraire's forelimb, hesitating. "If I may. I was never in the House of Parliament, nor the House of Lords, nor any other similar office. But if I had, then a decade ago, I have good reason to believe... I have good reason to believe the man I was then would have voted against your Bill." "Laurence," Temeraire said, and though he very much wished to argue, he did not. He recalled how queer Laurence had been, without his memories, and spoken on the subject, once or twice, with Tharkay, and with Granby. He had been a very difference person, once, before Temeraire had hatched.

For a moment, Laurence hung his head. "I am ashamed to say it. Ashamed to even think upon it." But then he looked up. "But my opinions have shifted; and shifted for the better, I do think. Let me stand as hope that anyone's perspective can be so transformed, if only given the correct knowledge and support."

Stretching out his neck, Temeraire nuzzled against Laurence's body. "If that is true, then let us be the ones who give it."

Again they stood, embraced, for some time. Temeraire did not wish to think, but still the thoughts came. There could be no outrunning them.

Nor the pains in his stomach. "I suppose I must eat, after all," he said, though his mouth felt leaden.

"Yes," Laurence said. "Please do, my dear." So Temeraire did. And despite everything, the chilies were still very fine.