#because your purity of mind is more important

[brinnanza]

"oh they both support genocide I'm not voting idc what happens to my rights" cool but it's not just your rights it's my fucking life. it's the lives of every disabled person, every queer person, every person of color, every poor person, every jew, every muslim, every single person who does not fit the white nationalist capitalist ideal. trying to survive as a disabled trans person is hard enough and I'm white!!! there are axies of oppression that do not apply to me and let me tell you I only barely survived the first trump term. I'd probably survive a second one, but a lot of people won't. A lot of people didn't survive the first one.

I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people

[rosesdrop]

Your most striking/attractive features

Pile 1 :

The first thing I'm noticing for people of pile 1 is their head; the head structure and the hair are really enticing; the jawline or the jaw area in general are really attractive and do stand out; also, your voice or the tone of your voice is something that people find very interesting to listen to; even your words and what you have to say are really powerful and leave an influence; for some, your voice is charged with emotional depth and understanding that cannot be ignored once these words come out of your mouth; if you sing, then your voice is soft and makes people emotional to hear it; you may also prefer singing sad or emotional songs. Your creative ideas are interesting and you have some sort of sharpness to the way you think, unusual ideas are likely to come up but not ones that freak people out but those that keep them wondering since they haven't seen that situation in that way until you mentioned what's on your mind, people find it odd but in a good way, you often leave them wondering and on their toes on what idea you're going to be proposing next, partners may think that you are plotting something most of the time and they cannot pinpoint your next action, they get really exited to hear your thoughts but also anxious because your intentions may be backed off by an unstable and out of the ordinary thinking system. you might have a shorter height than average or just be short from your view or other people's view also your height matched with you body weight makes your body shape look very attractive whatever shape it may be..it just gives perfection. You probably have a baby face, or just have softer features which really stand out, this softness that encompasses your overall appearance draws people in. Your face features give off some sort of nostalgic or gloomy but calm vibes..just like the moon, also the moon can be prominent is your astrological placements (whatever astrological system you use or believe in), but it plays a big part in your appearance and overall energy that you exude. For those who enjoy cooking, people that have tasted your food think it's amazing.

Pile 2 :

Pile number 2, the way you carry yourself, your posture, your drive, the way that you express yourself through your clothes, the way you choose to portray yourself to the world is very daring and speaks for itself. You're very fun, very playful, and active most of the time; you remind people of childhood; you could enjoy drawing; that's something that came up, and people like your drawings. You have a very childlike appearance but also mature in some way; there's a blend of energies where the purity of childhood meets the depth of the ancient; your type of beauty can be seen on those Renaissance portraits; where the faces drawn give a sense of originality. You could be someone who doesn't wear makeup a lot or prefers to keep it simple; your beauty is translated in a raw way. Your eyes are very interesting too; they are glowing most of the time and catch people's attention; they're very deep. You're probably someone who doesn't like attention or people staring at you or flattering you all the time, but you often find people staring at you or wanting to get in your energy. It's because you have a magnetic aura, so you attract a lot of attention from people. You are someone who is true to themselves and doesn't like to overly indulge in the material world or care about the current beauty standards that people strive to achieve. You are very comfortable with yourself and your appearance, and well, people find it interesting. People want to find out more about you; you appear to be more engaged in other things that are of bigger importance to you. If you wear perfumes, there is a scent that intrigues other people; you may use a scent that is not very common to them or one that has an unusual but catching smell. You generally don't let your guard down for people, and it keeps you protected. You appear distant, but you may have developed this approach over time as your sense of worth and knowing of yourself have grown. Some people may envy you for that and for your personal power; they notice that there's more to you than meets the eye.

Pile 3 :

Your body is very attractive, and it stands out. For most, I'm seeing tall stature and a model-like body. Your height is attractive and catching; you could be of any height; you don't have to be tall, but your body is something that people really take notice of. Anything you wear fits you—literally the body of a god/goddess—it's hard to be ignored. Your manners and the way you deal with people are very classy and sophisticated; dealing with you is a good experience for others, and you generally leave a good impression upon the first meeting. But there's a duality to you that kind of confuses others: when you look sweet and approachable, you turn out to not really care that much, or people find out that you're not actually someone to be messed with, and when you look distant, people get intimidated to approach you. They find out eventually that you were actually nice, and they were just under an illusion. There's an element of that in your personality.

Pile 4 :

Your legs and how you move—if you practice some sort of sport or dance activity, people like seeing you in motion. The way you walk is attractive. Your facial expressions are super flexible and change frequently; they're also super attractive and symmetrical. People love seeing your ever-changing reactions; you portray your emotions through your face and body language and probably not take notice of it, but others see it and they enjoy watching that. People like to observe your facial features; I'm getting people like to stare at you a lot. You have that entertainer's vibe and energy that people enjoy being near to. You catch attention easily and without trying, and it's fascinating. If you perform some sort of art or activity, as I mentioned, then people find you truly talented. The accessories that you wear and your choice of clothing are appreciated by many; you are perceived as having a high and artistic taste. 

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro Observations Pt.. ????

No, I cant keep up with the number. Lol. Lets go!

7th house placements def need to pick a side. They also need to put their foot down. Never let people who disrespect you back in. And if you're going to cut off one person for doing it, you gotta do it with everyone else. Just cause they relationship is long term doesn't mean much.

10th house placements need to focus on the things they truly love vs always digging into what they need to do for their career. Worry less about your ambitions from time to time and enjoy the flow. I know ti sucks but, you gotta relax a little.

Sun/Pluto placements can have a lot of rebirth experiences, but one thing that is important is their for growth. Which always seems to come through transformation, but not all the time. It comes through people, and the expression of being around people who love you. Thats what transform them the most. They need the world to truly see them for who they are, other wise they will only show one side of them, and that will ultimately be the version they transform into but it will only kill them from the inside and not benefit them.

Venus/Neptune placements have an inkling for romanticism, fantasy and philosophy in their relationships. They need something that makes them breathe words of enlightenment, purity and emotion. They have the tendency to make things seem more than what they are, rose colored glasses are no match for them at times. A little insight on them is that their emotions can go a little array when they aren't surrounded by the right people. They tend to suck in energy like a sponge, this is neptune energy. But with them you can notice a small difference between them and their lovers, like is it making them glow or is it draining? Thats what they need to ask themselves at times.

Jupiter in the 11th house can proudly be the most optimistic friend in the group. They could become the leader of an organization. They could be the one people come to for advice on certain matters or they could easily be someone people go to when they want to learn more about something. Very charismatic and sharp. Stern but sweet. A little rough around the edges but they get things done!

5th house Suns have a universe of emotions that express themselves in all types of ways. They'll have kids that are just as sweet & charismatic as them. They are a NATURAL at making people laugh! They normally have gorgeous spirits and people do enjoy their company.

Gemini placements have an alluring nature to them due to their minds. Their mysticism is through the art of words and are very tricky individuals. They have come here to master the mind and find ways to fully express their intellect in hopes to connect with as many as possible. They are a one of one when it comes to this area of life.

Moon in the 1st are seen as thoughtful, loving sweet creatures who everyone seems to be super fond of. They hide a lot of their emotions but sometimes we can tell when they're not okay.

Theres just something about them that brightens a persons day. They try to make a good example to others by the why they embrace their feelings and this usually inspires others to do the same.

Sun square neptune - Might be in the wrong crowd from time to time. Has to stay sober most of the time, getting into drugs and alcohol can be addictive and might not be worth it at times. Genuinely misunderstood. Might need a doctor to figure out why they act the way that they do (all jokes).

Very spiritual, this is contained tho. They dont really open up to people about religion or anything connected to spirituality/God. Its their own thing, and its very special/private to them.

Moon/Uranus placements - Needs a doctor. Okay im joking lol. Anyways their lucky to have this one because their minds are very capable of entering into mass amounts of information that is truly locked away from the rest of the world. Like their neptune friends, they have a connection to divine sources that strikes down to them from time to time almost like a brain blast. Could be a oracle, psychic, someone who just knows whats going to happen in the next years to come etc. Could be really creative too.

4th house placements can be friends you can depend on all of the time. They have a warm, soothing personality and their the type of friends you grow up into adulthood with.

[fanttasttica]

Strawberry tarts

Rhysand x reader Living in the Autumn court isn't nice, especially if you are female. Arranged marriages are common, so it wasn't surprising it also happened to you. What of course caught you off guard is that your future husband is Rhysand, High lord of the Night court, who is probably the most dangerous man alive. You heard horror stories about him and his court, but are these stories true? Warnings: misogyny, arranged marriage Word count: 8690 (oops)

Being the daughter of a nobleman in Autumn court wasn't something you would wish for. Truth to be told, it is quite the opposite actually. It is a common knowledge that when a female is born in this court, her only purpose in life is to be wed, often at a very young age. She is raised to dance, sing, entertain and obey her husband. She should do anything he wants, be his perfect little wife and of course, birth as many children, preferably boys, as possible. This is how your mother was raised and therefore, how you were raised. Your parents didn't love each other, a very few people in Autumn court loved their partners. And you knew.. maybe one? Two? It is maybe not that surprising that you no longer believed in love. It was better not to. So you could prevent being disappointed. The only thing you were slightly hoping for is for your husband to be at least a little kind to you and leave no marks on your body, unlike Beron, your High lord, did on his wife.

The feeling of accomplishment couldn't possibly miss your mother. In the end, she was marrying you off to Rhysand, High lord of the Night court. You still weren't sure how that happened. Your father was Beron's close friend, a very important member of his court. From what you were told, you understood that the High lord of night wanted to secure a peace between courts. In the past one engagement already happened, but wasn't successfully sealed in marriage. You heard stories about Morrigan and Eris, Beron's oldest son, an heir. Their story happened many years before you were even born and there still was some tension. Not wanting to risk another female from the Night court to change her mind, they probably decided to try it the opposite way and provide a female from the Autumn court from a man from the Night. And that man happened to be the High lord himself. 

Your wedding gown was modest. A little bit wider skirt, plain without anything to make it more interesting. Neckline up to the neck. White, symbol of purity. This dress was making you anxious. They were suffocating you, or maybe was it the thing they represented? Marriage. Today, you are going to marry probably the most dangerous man in Prythian. You are going to be his wife. His property. You were terrified of the unknown. If you were to be wed to some lord from your court, you would at least know how cruel they were, but about him.. You knew nothing other than his title and name. And that many people feared him. But was he really that bad? Were they telling you these stories because they wanted to warn you or just scared you into submission? Maybe he was secretly kind? You didn't know the answers to your question and you certainly weren't going to get them before you two would be married.

As you stood before the doors that were going to open in a matter of minutes and lead you to the new chapter of your life, you put a mask on your face. You were determined to not let them see your fear. “Don't mess anything up.” Your father hissed into your ear, as he stood beside you, ready to walk you down the aisle. “I won't”, you replied, trying to convince him and also yourself. You didn't have the chance to say anything more, not that you actually had something to say to your father, before the doors finally opened.

There were many guests, who were trying to get a better look at you and, while they stood on both sides as you walked down the aisle. Your heart was pounding fast in your chest and your head was ringing, but you forced yourself to walk forward. You avoided looking at your future husband until the last second, however, when your father finally let go of you and placed your hand into the other, warm one, you looked up and then.. your heart practically stopped. He was gorgeous. His purple eyes, shining like stars in the sky, were looking at you with kindness, as if they were trying to convince you that everything will be better from now on. And you really really wanted to believe them. 

The rest of the ceremony went quiet quickly. You said your vows and exchanged a kiss, well only on a cheek, which was a little bit disappointing but at the same time, it was a relief, because at the end, you didn't want to have your first real kiss in front of this massive audience. Now it was time for a party and that was actually nice. The attention of the guests turned from you to drinks, food, music and dance. You could breathe calmly for the first time today, even when your new husband was sitting next to you. He was so close you could feel his warmth, his scent and power that was radiating from him. Surprisingly, it wasn't scaring you at all. You should be scared of it, of him, that is for sure, but still.. you weren't and ironically, that was something that was scaring you a little bit. “You should eat something”, a velvet voice came from your husband, as you turned to look at him. “Are you not hungry? It is.. a long time since breakfast and of course the ceremony.. Or if you don't like this, I Can arrange something else for you. Whatever you would like.” Looking down on your untouched plate, touched by his kind offer, you decided to speak to him, for the first time. Wel.. for the first time since the ceremony, during which you promised him our loyalty and obedience. “No, but thank you, this.. will do.” You smiled, feeling a little bit shy, as you took your first bite. Citrus roasted duck with crispy potatoes, it wasn't that bad and it was true you should eat, as Rhys said, but your appetite was greatly affected by your nerves. You ate about a third of your plate, before putting your fork and knife down again, still feeling his eyes on you. “That is all?” he sounded surprised, but you only shrugged in response. “I am not that hungry today”, meeting his eyes. There was a hint of understanding. “Perhaps tomorrow I can take you to some restaurant in Velaris. To.. try something new, eat properly. Don't worry, I know what is good” as he flashed his smile at you, you were a little bit confused. “Velaris? What is that?” You never heard of it. Was it some restaurant? He replied simply, “Your new home.”

After hearing those awful things about your husband, you never expected his home to be so.. beautiful. No, magical is actually a better word. You heard about some place called Hewn city. It was described like a dark unwelcoming place, but this was quite the opposite. This city, Velaris, seemed peaceful, full of the happiness of its citizens. After winnowing, Rhysand, as he insisted you to call him, instead of My lord, brought you to this room. Your new room in your new home. It was.. strange to not be in your family's house. Knowing that if you were to go down into the living room, they wouldn't be there. Instead, there would be a bunch of a little bit scary and tall,well.. except Amren, people you knew almost nothing about. As Rhysand told you, many of them were not actually living there, but sometimes it looked like they did and since you didn't know what to think about it, you decided simply not to. Instead, you took a bath, with bubbles in it. Know you smelled like lavenders, while you brushed your hair, looking in the mirror and waiting for Rhysand. As your mother told you the night before, he was supposed to come and make you a women, whatever that meant. Your lack of knowledge wasn't helping to calm down your nerves, as you waited for him. But he never came that night. When you woke up the next day, the sun was already in the sky and birds were singing outside your window. It seemed like a nice morning, calm, until you heard someone almost shouting down in the gardens. To cover yourself up, you took a prepared robe, lying on a chair next to your king sized bet. Maybe you should not have been so curious, but wanting to know what was happening, brought you to a smaller balcony, which was connected to your room. Leaning to a railing, so you could see what was going on, you saw two mens and one woman. Now, actually sawing them, you recognized them immediately. They were at the wedding yesterday, High lords closest friends, his Inner circle. “I am deeply sorry if they woke you up, I told them to wait repeatedly, but.. they are too stubborn.” That velvet voice once again, like music to your ears, brought your attention to the left, where you saw another small balcony. There was a table, two chairs, one currently occupied by the High lord himself. He was drinking coffee, looking at you with a little smile. “It is okay. It's time to wake up anyways.” You didn't mind. “Maybe, but I wanted you to sleep in a little bit. Yesterday was a big day. Only if someone would listen to me for once and not ignore everything I say in my own court.” He raised his words at the end of his sentence, clearly talking to the group below. “Oh common Rhysie, this isn't fair. We only wanted to finally meet your beautiful wife, since you decided yesterday to only keep her for yourself.” The general's voice was provocative, which was new for you. Beron wouldn't tolerate it, however innocently it sounded. “Yeah, that wasn't very nice, Rhys.” That female, Morrigan, said with a grin on her face. The third one, Azriel, turned his attention immediately towards you, ignoring how his friends were taunting your husband.. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” He said with a hint of encouraging smile in his eyes. “The pleasure is all mine. It is nice to meet you. All of you.” You smiled politely, looking from Azriel, to Morrigan and lastly Cassian.                   

After freshening your face and dressing up in a nice and elegant dress, you decided to be brave and go downstairs to eat breakfast. You were quite hungry, understandably, since you didn't eat that much yesterday. And you also wanted to get to know the others a little bit more. After your earlier encounter, it was more than clear that they weren't leaving, until they had the chance to speak to you first. 

Walking in the hall and to the dining room was easy, thanks to the cauldron and you also had time to look around a house a little bit more. It was elegant here, the furniture looked really expensive. There were some portraits hanging. On the first one you saw, there was a whole Inner circle, then Rhysand with a crown on his head, you suspected it was painted on the day or day after he became High lord, and next to you, there was a portrait of two women. One looked solder, barely off age and the other one was clearly her mother. Although you never met them and couldn't remember their names, you recognized some similarities in their faces and Rhysand's. “My mother and sister..” Rhysand appeared next to you in a second you were absently looking at the two womens. “It is a pity they aren't here to meet you. My sister always wanted another sister, so they could make fun of me together and I am sure my mother would love you as if you were her actual daughter.” A little bit surprised at his statement, you looked at his handsome face. “How can you know? We barely.. know each other and those are some strong words.” There was a hint of mistrust in your voice. “I just know..” 

The breakfast was delicious and others seemed really nice and friendly, which caught you off guard once again. Cassian, however scary he could appear, was one of the funniest people in the world, telling jokes and stories about everyone in the room and what they experienced together in all those centuries. Morrigan was the person who matched his personality perfectly. Although you didn't expect them to be like this, you were actually having a nice time. It was so different from the breakfast you usually had at home. Azriel along with Amren were a little bit quieter, but still friendly towards you and they tried to make you feel welcome. And Rhysand.. Actually you weren't sure what to think of him. After your little chat in the hall, you came to breakfast together and he helped you sit by pushing your chair. He was behaving like a true gentleman, completely opposite to what they told you in Autumn court. You were pulled to reality from thinking by Morrigan. “Y/N you simply must come with me today. I plan to go shopping. I need some new dress and you definitely too, because females just can not have enough dresses. And after that we can maybe go to this little bakery, they have the best sweets.” She was trying to persuade you to accompany her. You smiled at her, touched that she wanted to spend more time with you. Maybe she was going to be your first friend here? Well officially. Unofficially you started liking them all. “Well, I would like to join you,” you said truthfully, “If it's okay, of course?” You added as you looked over your husband, whose purple eyes were watching you. “Of course it is okay. You are free to do whatever your heart decides. Buy everything you need or simply want.” He smiled at you, looking over at Morrigan. “I am sure my cousin will more than happily be at your assistance,  especially, I will be paying.”

“Morrigan, I just do not need so many things. This is getting really absurd.” You said after trying on maybe ten dresses. And many skirts and pants before. Yes, you could wear pants here. Another shock for you, since this was unacceptable in your home court. “Oh my dear friend, we barely started. I know you have many dresses from Autumn court, but now you are in the Night court. You need to look like it and more importantly, you need to feel comfortable. So now hush and tell me the truth. Do you really like to wear something like this? Or you simply were taught you have to wear clothes like this, although you do not like how it looks or how comfortable it is?” You knew from her face that lying wasn't the opportunity, so you sighed. “It.. doesn't really feel like me and.. it is not comfortable that much.” However simple it sounded, this was a big step for you, since you were always taught to not complain about anything, not having your own opinion. And something in Morrigan's face told you, she was having the same thoughts as you. 

Leaving with three bags in each hand, you finally left the store. The amount of money you left there was enormous, but Morrigan was assuring you, Rhysnad wouldn't mind, so you decided to believe her and relax a little bit. Well, you surely made the owner happy and your closet fuller. You went to the bakery and bought a delicious strawberry tart, your favorite treat, and now you were just walking around the city, enjoying the sunny day and your new blossoming friendship. “It was an amazing day Morrigan, I am very thankful for you. It means a lot that you are so .. friendly to me.” You said a little bit shyly. “Oh Y/N.. It's been my pleasure. You are Rhysand's wife, one of us. My new friend. But don't you dare to think this day is over, we have one more shop we need to visit.” Her eyes sparkled in mischief. Only if you knew what was coming.

“Oh you can not mean this seriously!” You gasped, horrified, while looking at the next shop your friend picked. It was highly inappropriate for you to visit a place like this. “Oh, but I mean. Don't worry, you will be thanking me one day.” 

Your day with Morrigan was fun, but the next day, you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed. Your feets were hurting, your head was hurting. You felt like she talked the hole in it. But inside you knew, you would be very happy if she would take you out soon again. And you also knew that if you really were to stay in your bed all day, you would be bored out of your mind after an hour. You need something to focus on, something to do. And then you remembered the strawberry tarts you had yesterday. Not wanting to go to the city, you decided to bake them on your own today. Fortunately, you knew the receipt already by your heart and in the kitchen was everything you needed. Nuala and Cerridwen, twins you met for the first time today, offered to bake that treat for you, but after some persuading, they agreed to only help you a little bit and let you roam in the kitchen mostly as you pleased. 

The two females, who were accompanying you, were quiet and shy, choosing their words wisely. THe time you spent with them was like a silent dance, but not uncomfortable. It was rather peaceful and warm, almost like in home you never had but dreamed about having, when you were little. You were actually finishing the last one, when you heard a loud and funny voice that belonged to no one else than Cassian. “You are a lucky one Rhys. What would I do to have a beautiful wife like you, who also cooks, so the whole house smells nicely.” You blushed at his comment, not meeting any of their eyes. “For that complement, I think you deserve to have the first one to try it.” You said, taking the plate and placing the tart on it, along with a small spoon and handing it to him. You made enough tarts for all of them, wanting to only kill the time, but also make something nice, since they welcomed you with open arms. While Rhys said nothing, he was smiling at you, eyes shining adoringly, which caused you to blushed even more than before. “It is delicious, can I have one or two more?” Too busy looking at your husband, you didn't even notice that Cassian already managed to eat his first portion.

Instead of one or two more strawberry tarts, Cassian ate five in a few minutes. Looking at him surprised with Rhysand standing next to you, almost brushing his arm on you, he said “Cassian has a great appetite. I believe he would eat everything you made today, if he was allowed”, sounding amused. You giggled at this comment, meeting his gaze. “Are you speaking from personal experience?” He chuckled “I already spent many centuries with him.. Believe me when I say that feeding Cassian is pricey.” Cassian, not able to speak while having mouth full, gave his friend a middle finger. During your conversation with Rhysand, you took another plate and placed another tart there, offering it to Rhysand. “If that is the case, I think you should try it before Cassian eats it.” You saw the hesitation in his eyes, that went from your face to the plate and back. You chuckled a little bit nervously and your smile fell instantly, when he shook his head. “No, thank you. I.. don't have time. Perhaps some other day. I have to go now.” And with that, he simply vanished into the darkness. 

Rhysand's sudden departure left you hurt and sad. Was something you said wrong? Was he not a fan of sweets? Was he allergic and you offended him because you didn't know? You blinked once, twice, before putting the plate on the kitchen counter. “That was.. weird.” Cassian spoke suddenly. You did not reply to him, thinking only about your conversation with Rhysand and blaming yourself for doing something wrong, although you didn't know what. But you were sure that your mother would be disappointed by this. You could almost hear her voice. “ Y/N?” You turned to Cassian. “You did nothing wrong, trust me. I don't really know what happened, but I promise you, he will come to his senses and apologize. Hopefully really soon.” You still weren't so sure about that and your mood wasn't so much better, but you offered him a smile, thankful for his kind words. “Here, take this plate too..”

You spent the previous day in the kitchen, cleaning, although Nuala and Cerridwenn insisted they would do it by themselves, you wanted to help. Cassian kept you company for the rest of the day, taking you to the gardens, telling you more stories about everyone in the inner circle, before taking you to your bedroom. He did manage to lighten your mood a little bit, so when you went to bed, no sad thoughts about Rhysand came, only sweet dreams.

The second time in a row, there was a present on your bedside table, when you woke up. Yesterday, you thought that Morrigan left there for you a beautiful necklace with a moonstone in it, you saw through the glass in one jewelry store which you based on on your walk. Morrigan was trying to persuade you to buy it, but it seemed so pricey that you decided not to. You already spent so much of Rhysands money.. But now you suspected that perhaps you were wrong by guessing it was her, who bought it. No, you knew you were wrong, since today you found a plate with different delicious looking sweets on your table, alongside with a note. 

“I know this apology isn't enough and that you also deserve an explanation, why did I leave yesterday so suddenly, but I can not give you that yet. I hope you understand and I promise you.. You did nothing wrong. - yours Rhys ” 

After reading that note from Rhysand and eating what he sent you, you felt a little bit better. You were not angry at him, rather at yourself, still not knowing what you did was frustrating. Nuala and Cerridwen were busy and since you couldn't find anyone else, you just wandered around a house, trying to find something to do. You were not in the mood to bake like yesterday, you did not have any work you could do. There was only you and your thoughts. About how your life changed, surprisingly to the better, about your new friends.. about Rhysand. You were thinking especially about him and your friends, Cassian and Morrigan. Did they report your conversation to him? After reading that note for the second time, you saw a similar formulation of words like Cassian used the previous day. It was weird. You were dying to know what that meant, but you were too shy and embarrassed to ask anyone. Another reason why you needed to find something to do. Otherwise, you would probably go crazy because of these thoughts that plague your mind. 

After another few minutes, you found a small library. At first, you hesitated a little bit, but since the doors were unlocked, you went inside. There were mainly books about the history of Prythian, courts, High lords of current and past time, books on wars and tactics, but in the small corner, you found a small shelf with maybe ten or twenty romance books. Your mother did not allow you to read them. The only ones you were allowed to read were about good behavior, what it takes to be a good wife and similar topics and after some time, when you slowly began realizing that true love will probably never be something you are going to have, you stopped begging her to let you read at least one of them, so you could see how it looks between man and women who love each other truly. But now, with your new freedom and with a new glimmer of hope inside your chest, you picked the first one, sat in the chair that was standing next to a window and began to read.

The time was passing rather quickly. You were almost in the middle of the story and not paying attention to your surroundings, when you heard someone unintentionally hitting the table and then cursing slightly. You turned quickly, shocked by this interruption, to find Azriel. “Are you okay?” You asked worriedly, as he turned his attention to you. “Yeah, ehm.. Don't worry. I am fine.” You raised your eyebrow, not quite believing him, since he was Spymaster, known for being stealthy and composed.. Nothing like now.  That is when you realize he is holding something in his hands. Book. He sees where your eyes are and smiles slightly. “I guess there is no hiding anymore. I am.. returning this.” He says, coming to the shelf where you took the book and placing it on its right place. You giggle a little. “If it helps you to feel better, you are the last one I would suspect of reading romantic books. I guess you should never really judge the book by its cover.” He nods, sitting on the next free chair in front of you. “I think very few people would dare to even think that I like reading these. But sometimes..” He fell silent and you smiled knowingly. “It is nice to read about true love and dream that maybe someday it will also come to you.” 

It did not surprise you, when the next day when you woke up, you found a brand new book on your bedside table, alongside with a note. 

“I hope you will like this one, although I am not an expert in this field, it's apparently very popular. I would also like to take you to dinner tonight, of course only if you want to and will not be in too much exciting part of your book. - yours Rhys”

Of course you did say yes to his invitation. It would be rude if not and also against everything your mother taught you. And what is more important, you wanted to go. After all, he was your husband, you wanted to get to know him better. What did you even know about him? That he was Hugh lord, lived in Velaris, he loves his friends and is kind. And maybe does not like strawberry tarts, but that is everything You wanted to know more. What he liked, what he did not like, his hobbies.. Everything. Anything. Anything he was willing to share with you. 

Your mind was once again full of him. Not being able to concentrate and not sure what to even wear, you were more than happy to meet Morrigan at the breakfast. It was only the two of you, a perfect opportunity to ask her to help you prepare for tonight. She agreed, happy, that you asked her and was currently styling your hair. “Don't you think it is too much?” You asked hesitantly. She made you wear a purple dress, a color that matched your husband's eyes perfectly. And it also went really well with that necklace he gave you a couple of days ago. “Not at all, I think you look perfect. Rhys will not be able to take his eyes off you.” There was a slight hint of provocation in her voice, which made your cheeks turn bright red. “Anddd, I am done. You look stunning Y/N!” As you looked in the mirror, you started to believe her.

You were waiting in your room, talking with Morrigan, when you heard a knock on your door. Not wasting any time, you went to open them to relieve Rhys standing here, dressed in a suit that matched your dress and with a bouquet of colorful flowers in his hands.”Hello, Y/N darling.” There was a smirk on his face, so significant for him. “Hello.” You answered, looking down at the flowers he handed to you. “For you. Their beauty is nothing compared to yours, but I still hope you will find them at least a little beautiful.” You blushed at his comment, starting to hate how easily he can affect you. “Thank you, they are really beautiful. Perfect.” You took them, smelling their sweet scent, before Morrian came closer and offered to put them in a vase, before turning to face Rhys with a grin on her face. “Make sure she is home before midnight.”

Still chuckling a little bit at Morrigan's last comment, you took Rhysand's hand he offered you and stepped outside your beautiful home into the night. It was perfect. The weather was amazing and the streets you walked through smelled of lemon, sea and mystery. “After everything you have done for me, especially for those gifts.. I think that I should be the one inviting you tonight.” You said, starting a quick conversation before you would get too nervous or better say aroused due to how close he was. You could feel his warmth and smell his undoubtedly expensive cologne. He chuckled slightly, “Oh my darling, don't you ever think about that. You deserve those things. You deserve everything you could possibly want and I will spend my life ensuring that, as I promised you at our wedding.” He reminded you and you shook your head, not understanding, how could anyone think of him as a cruel person. “You.. exaggerate. Not wanting to give up so easily, you decided to speak. “I will be honest.. Before we got married, I was worried. However, after you took me here and I had a chance to get to know you better and of course, your friends too.. I think.. I think I really like it here. You made me feel welcome and happy more than I was ever before in my life.” You said, looking at the ground. Maybe a little bit ashamed. After all, your mother said that no perfect woman would ever complain and although you didn't directly, you indicated it quite clearly. “So, what I wanted to tell you is that I am really grateful. For your gifts, for.. everything” You looked him in the eyes, smiling slightly. At first, he didn't say anything, there was a pity in his eyes and what you didn't see was that inside he was fuming and wanted to punish everyone in the Autumn court. But not to scare you, he simply took your hand and kissed it gently. “You are welcome, my darling.”

When you came to the restaurant, after a short walk through the city, which you enjoyed, you found the place completely empty, well except for people who worked here, of course. Giving Rhysand a questioning look, he answered immediately “I wanted us to have privacy.” He shrugged, as if it was nothing and you blinked at him. “Try to tell me ever again, that you do not exaggerate.” You mumbled to yourself quietly. 

You were full. After the appetizer, soup and main course, you felt like moving wasn't an option for you anymore. When the waiter asked, if you wanted a dessert, you looked over at Rhys. In your eyes, there was an obvious answer to this question - no. But he chuckled. “Yes please, bring us two pieces of your lemon and lavender cake.” Taking a sip of your wine, you sighed. “A new information for me.. You don't understand signals very well.” He simply leaned back on a chair with a smirk on his handsome face. “Oh, but I do. What I however can not do is leave this restaurant without you trying their best dessert. Everyone loves it.” You raised your eyebrow. “You do too?” He nodded, now leaning a little bit closer to you. “About that day when I.. left so suddenly.” He paused, unsure what to say, but you didn't pressure and gave him time. “It is okay, if you don't want to share it with me. I understand.” There was a hesitant smile on your face and in your mind, you were screaming the opposite words that left your mouth. He shook his head. “I do. I want to share it with you, but.. I think that for a while it is better not to. You are still new here and are only settling in your new home. I don't want to overwhelm you.” You nodded, trying to be as understanding as possible, before the waiter came and handed you your piece of cake.

“Are you full?” Rhys asked for about a second time since you left the restaurant and you just laughed. “Yes, I am full, don't worry.“ You assured him, squeezing his hand a little bit. You had a great time with him and it was sad that your night was coming to an end. During this time, you also became more relaxed around him. Someone who wouldn't know you and saw you walking with him in the streets right now, wouldn't probably guess the situation you were in. It seemed real. This.. something, what became growing between you. “I'm just making sure.” He shrugged, at the same time as you thought something about mother hen. “Do you want to go flying?” He asked suddenly, catching you off guard. “Flying?” You asked. He smiled and within seconds, large wings appeared on his back. You gasped in astonishment. “They are beautiful..” Your voice was low. Wanting to feel them underneath your fingers, you reached out to them, but he stopped you. Gently taking your hand in his bigger one. “Ehm.. They are quite sensitive.” He tried to explain. “Oh, I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!” Your eyes widened, apologizing. “No, you wouldn't hurt me. It is only when something touches Illyrian wings.. That person can become aroused.” At this moment, you wanted to sink into the ground more than ever before. 

Although you were embarrassed, you still agreed to fly, wanting to see the city from above. As your husband took you in his arms, your heart started beating faster than usual.  You wanted to sink into his touch. Smell his perfume, do something you never did before. You weren't sure what it was. This feeling was new for you. But you were enjoying it. “Hold on tight.” Rhys said, moments before he finally took you in the sky. His sudden movement makes you close your eyes, but his movement becomes steady, you open them, taking in the beauty of the city below. It was perfect. This night, Rhysand. Everything. This night was everything. 

You spent the next few days with your husband. From that night he took you to dinner, you found yourself yearning for his company. At first, you were a little hesitant, not wanting to disturb him with your presence. After all, he was High lord with responsibilities. But he seemed to enjoy your company as much as you did his, so when he one day took you to his office, there was a new set of comfortable sofa and armchair, next to a window. Perfect place for reading you began to enjoy. From that day, you went to his after breakfast regularly. Sometimes you two were talking, other days on the other hand, you spent this time in a comfortable silence. Eating lunch together also became some sort of habit of yours. Slightly different were evenings. You once again went shopping with Morrigan, who was very curious about your relationship with her cousin. Sometimes you spend your evenings with Cassian or the whole Inner circle, sitting, talking and drinking Rhysands expensive old wine, while sitting close to him. This was also your plan for this evening, until Morrigan decided that it is time for you to visit Rita's. 

Since Morrigan did a really good job by picking your dress for your dinner date with Rhys, you decided to trust her also this time, but seeing what she prepared for you to wear, you began asking her sanity. This dress were.. interesting. They were black and like the night sky they sparkled. As if there were tiny little stars. And they also were very short, which was new for you. Although you did started dressing differently than in the Autumn court, you even tried pants and really liked them, but.. The only thing that was calming you down was that she was wearing a dress of similar length, only in red and with a deeper neckline. “If you were not Rhys's wife, I can guarantee you Y/N, that I would do anything to take you home with me tonight.” You blushed and laughed and the same time. “I mean it, you look sexy! Where were you hiding that ass, girl?” You shook your head. “Morrigan, tell me the truth. Are you drunk already?” You raised your eyebrow at her and she grinned in response. “Me? Drunk? Always.”

The plan was to get ready with Morr and meet guys and Amren at Rita's. You were shocked that Amren even agreed on going. Although you were in Velaris a couple of weeks already, you barely spoke to her. But Morrigan assured you, that is how Amren simply is and so you never questioned it again. When you arrived, the place was full. There was a body on body, people were dancing, drinking and singing, alongside with a singer on a little stage. If you were not holding Morrigan's hand for your dear life, you would probably get lost and never be found again. Luckily, you managed to find the others rather quickly. They were sitting at the table in the corner, not so far away from the dance floor, already with some drinks. “Look who finally decided to show up.” Cassian greeted you with a sneering remark on which Morrigan replied by giving him a middle finger, which was normal for them, as you found out some time ago. “Oh shut up, Cass. Maybe you should sometimes be late and at least try to take care of your appearance.” You began ignoring these two, since their bickering would probably last all night. You rather said hello to the other three people who were sitting here, Amren, Azriel and lastly Rhysand. You felt his eyes on you from the second you showed up here and you knew that you would be staring at him all night probably too. He was wearing black. The buttons of his shirt were open, so you could see part of his muscular chest. “Hello darling, you look ravishing.” He smirked at you hungrily.

You were having your third drink. Normally you would take one, beautiful you were to survive this night, you needed more. It was just too much. People were almost having sex right on the floor, music was so sensual and Rhys.. His normal gentleman's behavior probably stayed at home today. His large warm hand was on your exposed thigh, striking it gently, each time going a little bit more up. As the time passed by, Morrigan went dancing with some girl she met at the bar, when she was going for her second glass of wine. Cassian disappeared to the dance floor and Amren was having a conversation with Azriel. That left you and Rhysand practically alone, not that you were complaining. You were only still rather shy for this. The band started playing some slow music, giving the dancers an opportunity to slow down their rhythm and enjoy each other's touches more intensely. That is when Rhysand leaned closer to you, whispering in your ear. “Would you like to dance?” The way his breath brushed lightly against your neck gave you goosebumps, but you still nodded slowly.

When you took Rhysand's hand, he led you on a dance floor. Some people around you probably recognized him, since they tried to give you more space, but there still were many people around you, not that you were paying them any attention. No. You had eyes for only one person and that person was your husband, who was holding you close. His arms were around your waist as you moved slowly on the floor, grinding at each other like fools. If you would look back on your table, you would be able to see that both Cassian and Morrigan returned and all of your new friends were currently toasting, pleased with how things had turned out between the two of you, perhaps thanks to their efforts. 

Not being able to hold back anymore, you looked from Rhysand's eyes on his lips, biting yours. It was a simple invitation for him. The one he gladly accepted, as he firstly gently stroked your lip with his thumb, before slowly leaning to you, giving you time to change your mind, before he finally brought your lips together in a slow, long wanted kiss. It lasted maybe a couple of seconds, but it was enough for the mating bond to snap for you. Like a golden thread it led straight to Rhysand and when you looked him surprised in the eyes, you knew, you felt, that this wasn't something new for him. 

As the first hint of hurt and sadness appeared in your eyes, the sudden wave of darkness surrounded you and carried the two of you home. The first thing you did was to take a step back, trying to get away from him. “Why? Why didn't you tell me this before?” He sighed, looking down at the floor. “I didn't want to overwhelm you or scare you. I thought it was better to not tell you anything for some time. “ He started, not so good. “How long did you know?” You asked quietly, wanting to know something more before deciding what to say to him. “A little bit more than. Almost two years.” You gasped. Hurt by him sat on the chair, refusing to look at him. “All my life, someone.. Someone else always decided what was good for me. What I should know, what not. When we were getting married, I thought that.. It will be the same with you, but during these last weeks you were.. So kind to me that I really started believing I can trust you, but now? I.. I don't know. You knew you were my mate for so long and you did not tell me? Why? What did I do to offend you so much? Am I not good enough?” He began shaking his head rapidly, kneeling before you and taking your hands in his. “No, no that's not it. You are perfect, believe me. You are everything I ever wanted, what I dreamed of.” Releasing breath, with teary eyes, you looked at him. “Then tell me.. How exactly did you find out, so you decided it was better for me to not know?” 

The room was silenced, as Rhys poured himself a drink. He offered you one, but you refused it. You already had enough today and you wanted to concentrate on what is he saying.  He took a deep breath before beginning. “I was in the Autumn court, trying to sort out some problems Beron had at that time. He held a ball, where I was invited, maybe you remember it.” You nodded, only for confirmation that you did. “The ball was just beginning, when I saw you enter with your parents by your side. I remember our eyes met, only for a brief moment, but in that moment, the bond snapped for me, but clearly not for you.. That same night I began to plan. I asked Azriel if he could find out as many information about you and your family as he could and in the morning, he already handed me a whole file about you. I learned your name and about your situation. Considering how many people in Autumn court behave, for me it was not surprising that your parents were not so.. good people. You were so young, you are still young and your father was already trying to find a partner for you, so he could marry you off for his gain. I knew that I could not let that happen. Not only because of my personal interest, but because most males in Autumn court abuse their partners and see their wifes only as breeding mare.” There was a disgust in his voice. “So I immediately came to Beron and proposed the idea of marriage between our two courts. Trying to win him on my side, I said I wanted to fix how last time something like this was about to happen but it did not, affected relationship between our courts. I told him he could even pick a list of some suitable girls, hoping you would be there, since Beron was close to your father. Well he agreed and also luckily for me, included you on that list. I tried to not be too eager to marry you, because I did not want to cause any suspicion. So I waited a few weeks before choosing. Then some paper work was needed and it took time before the wedding planning could finally began. I wanted nothing more than to go to your house and just took you with me to get you out of that place, but I was worried that I would put you in danger. Beron is awful, I believe I don't have to explain it to you.That is also why I didn't tell you before. Why didn't I engage in anything.” You nodded, understanding what he did and you were thankful to him, but it still hurt a little. “But why didn't you tell me anything after I came here?” You dared to ask. He swallowed nervously. “You were so young and you were already going through a lot. I knew you were probably scared of me, scared of this place at first. Maybe my decision wasn't so right as I thought it was, but please believe me that I did it with only the best intentions.” 

You knew Rhysand probably really didn't mean to do anything bad by his decisions, but you still had a right to be hurt and disappointed. It's been two days since the revelation and you spent them in your room. Nuala and Cerridwen brought you each food. Morrigan, Cassian and Azriel also visited you, telling you that they understand why you are angry with Rhysand. You also found out that although you thought otherwise, they didn't know about the bond. They suspected it, yes, but he didn't tell them anything. They found out after you didn't show up at breakfast the day after you went together to Rita's. They of course saw you disappear with Rhys, but thought it was for other purposes. You thanked them for their words of support and their visits and also begged them not to tell Rhysand anything, which they promised. You deep inside knew that you would forgive him and move on. He was not only your mate, but also your husband. Husband you began to love, which you realized after your argument. 

Your love for him is also one of the factors that drove you mad. You stopped believing that love existed. You felt like a fool that you, after everything that you have been taught, after what you saw, after everything you have been through.. You did in fact fell in love. You were so confused, about your feelings, what you thought you should feel, what happened.. That you welcomed knocking on your door gratefully. 

You would never suspect that behind the door, there would be Amren standing, asking if she could come inside to talk to you. You of course led her, closing the door behind her, gesturing on chairs where she can sit, while you returned to your soft bed. “Girl, I am probably not the person to tell you this, but I think you need to pull yourself together.” You would lie if you would say that her words did not shock you a little bit. She wasn't even trying to chat a little before dropping this on you. “I know and understand that you are hurt by what Rhys did, he is an idiot sometimes, but be honest with yourself. By this, you are only punishing both of you and why?” She shook her head. “I have been alive for.. a couple of thousands years. I saw many people get together and then break up. But I do not think this is what either of you want, am I right?” You sighed and nodded. You will not leave Rhysand because of this. You knew that, however you weren't sure what she was trying to tell you by this. “So.. If that is not the case, why are you doing this? Why waste time by being angry at each other.I think you both went through a lot to be this stupid.” And in that moment, you understood. 

Not wasting any time, you quickly hugged Amren and before she could even react, you started running to the kitchen. She was right after all. Your life wasn't easy, so why are you making yourself miserable even more? Rhys made a mistake, but that happens. But what you realized is that you love him enough to forgive him. You loved him. That warm feeling spreads throughout your whole body. And thanks to that, it all seemed so simple. 

At first, you simply wanted to grab something quick and go straight to Rhysand's office, but when you saw strawberries lying on the kitchen counter, you couldn't help yourself. Knowing the receipt by your heart paid off, when you were finishing the first strawberry tart, placing it on the plate and storming out of the kitchen with it, completely ignoring unfinished ones. You were sure Cassian would gladly eat them even now. You rushed to your room, to freshen up yourself and to change, before, with a plate in your hand, finally knock on your husband's office. “Come in.” 

Before you opened the massive doors, you took a deep breath. Although you were absolutely sure about this, like anything before in your life, you were also still nervous. When you came in, you saw Rhys sitting behind the table, which was full of papers. To be honest, he looked like he didn't get too much sleep and that made your heart hurt. He looked up, meeting your eyes. His face lit up a little bit, in a small hope, when he saw what you were carrying in your hands. He watched your steps, before you were finally standing right in front of him, placing the plate on his table. “I made this, just for you.” You announced, biting your lip. “Are you.. sure?” His voice was hesitant. It was clear he wanted nothing more than to devour that tart and then you, but even now he was giving you a chance to change your mind. You walked around the table, he turned himself in his chair to face you, which you took as an opportunity to sit on his lap. His hand instinctively found your hip, holding you close so you wouldn't fall down, as you took the spoon, scooped up a little part of that tart and brought it to his lips. After he looked into your eyes once again, he ate the food you offered him, groaning at its taste. That sound was so beautiful, so sinful.. It made you thank Morrigan that on your first shopping spree together, she took you in that one certain shop, where you bought matching sexy underwear you were currently hiding under your dress.

[natalyarose]

𝒥𝓊𝓅𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒩𝒶𝓀𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓈 & 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 🧞✨💐✩

I've always thought Jupiter ruled Nakshatras (Punarvasu, Vishakha, & Purvabhadprada) to be veryy magical with their themes of limitlessness, expansion, sheer spiritual abundance & power. I'm not sure if it has been talked about before, but something that always comes to mind when I envision Jupiterian Nakshatras or meet heavily Jupiter influenced people, is the concept of genies.

Jupiter's abundance and endlessly giving nature is known to be a blessing and a curse. A Jupiterian can be the sweet, generous, selfless friend who is there when you need them; providing you endless support, refuge & material generosity.

The dark side of this inherently generous 'wish-fulfilling' nature of Jupiter Nakshatras, is the possibility that they enable dark behaviours in others & themselves. Always saying yes, always being available and endlessly giving to the wrong type of cause or person, can make you complicit in the crime so to speak, even if the intention is simply to give, or give chances (Punarvasu's themes of second chances, 'return to the light'). Jupiter Nakshatras entail hugeee lessons regarding purpose (Vishakha, 'the Star of Purpose') & being intentional and wise as to how you use your power and influence (the infamous test of character in Purvabhadrapada 'the man with two faces').

These Jupiterian themes have always made me think of genies- wish fulfilling creatures who are inherently unable to say no to the wishes uttered to them. Having to just sit and watch people wish for dreadful things and just go... 'as you wish'. Obviously in real life, there really is a choice not to feed into others' and ones own toxic patterns but with Jupiterians, the urge to give, to be constantly available to others, can almost feel like it's not a choice. It's energetically intertwined in their make-up.

I would love to gather more examples, but it's 3am here and this was a bit of a spur of the moment thing I had to get out haha- I looked into a few of the most prominent 'genie' roles in movies and as I suspected, every single one features an actor/actress with strong Jupiter influence.

Jeannie from 60s sitcom 'I dream of Jeannie' - actress, Barbara Eden has Punarvasu Ascendant

Kazaam from 90s comedic film 'Kazaam' - actor/basketball player Shaquille O'Neal has Purvabhadrapada Sun

Genie from Disney's Aladdin - played in the live action movie by Will Smith, Vishakha Moon.

This genie theme really makes me think of all of the Jupiterian Nakshatras, but Vishakha especially. A friend of mine who is a Vishakha stellium always tells me about how it is said that Vishakha has the ability to generate 'instant karma'. So Vishakha natives to an extent greater than other Nakshatras will receive the raw manifested result of their thoughts/actions veryy quickly. Much like a genie granting instant wishes.

I was going to mention also that the whole genie archetype also reminds me of Rohini a bit- the wish-fulfilling aspect, the element of fulfilling desires without shame/inhibition. It's a little different in nature, but Rohini Nakshatra's got a similar theme where the native is incredibly nurturing of who or what sets their heart on fire, sometimes to a fault. Rohini is capable of immense growth but can forgo morality/practicality for the sake of immersion in the process of creation & sparking joy. Rohini's philosophy is something along the lines of 'let go of judgement because judgement inhibits creation and disrupts purity'. This is very true, but of course as humans on the divided and dense Earthly plane, we know that having a sense of judgement & boundaries is also important.

That was very wordy, but hopefully y'all see what I'm getting at lol. Although I'm more inclined to associate Rohini with wise old wizard dudes with cool beards & mad but genius scientists lol.

Back to Jupiterians-

I believe that Jupiter Nakshatra's 'remedy' is to eventually realise that they are not a slave to their giving nature, and the power lies in them to decide, & give only to a person, dream, goal or cause that truly is aligned with their own soul's path. Break free from the shackles lol- with wisdom hopefully. Without that element of wisdom, Jupiter can run wild with that discovered power.

Jupiterians struggling with discernment is why Jupiter Nakshatras oppose Venusian Nakshatras (Bharani opposes Vishakha; Purvaphalguni opposes Purvabhadrapada; Purvashadha opposes Punarvasu). Venus masters the fine art of 'necessary cruelty' sometimes ya gotta rip out the weeds, warn off the pigeons and trim the rose bush to make your garden a beautiful, pleasant, luxurious place. Jupiter can struggle with this, instinctively wanting to be a safe space for everyone and everything.

Jupiter ruled Nakshatras also partially oppose Solar Nakshatras (Krittika, Uttaraphalguni & Uttarashadha) illustrating the Jupiterian struggle with putting oneself first. Solar Nakshatras keep their energy strong and vibrantly resounding at their core; wheras Jupiter Nakshatras are kinda messy with their energy (lol, not necessarily in a bad way)- they disperse their energy everywhere, giving & giving. Both Solar & Jupiter Nakshatras deal with themes of limitless reserves energy, but in opposite, contrasting ways.

There's so much I could write about Jupiterians, I love Jupiter energy very much. I really love all of the Nakshatras lol, I mean how could you not? Every Nakshatra holds teachings that are integral to making the world a better place 💕🪷

Thankyou for reading!

[daisys-reality]

── ☔ꜞ˖ ꒰ 𝙿𝙰𝙲: 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 ꒱

Hello my fellow shifters, here is your ☔ reading which you've voted for!

Do you want to know why all of this is exactly happening? Do you want guidance and answers because you want to know where you’re standing in your shifting journey and how to move forward? What are you heading towards exactly? I’ll try to find answers to such questions for you in this reading. Choose a picture and enjoy your reading!

Also check out my  masterlist if you want! Fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, they're all from pinterest. 🤍

──

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To develop your creative force, to be more daring and to follow your passion and ideas, to make you follow your dreams, to trigger growth, to give you a spark for new beginnings, to recover the joy of life/the magic of life

To give you strength in trying times (mental/health struggles, feeling rejected by this world, feeling lonely and not understood, …), to help you endure those almost impossible trials in your (cr) life, to help you stay resilient, to strengthen your resolve and faith

To evoke a nostalgia for sweeter times, to find your innocence again, to connect with specific people/souls, some people want to connect with you, to strengthen your connection with spirituality/the world of spirits, to go on adventures and partly to re-experience childhood especially if you felt like you missed out a lot in your younger years, to experience love/soul connection in other realities

This message only applies to people with specific spiritual beliefs: if you feel like you have a specific purpose in this life, it might actually be a major purpose for which you need to be strong, that’s why you experienced so many hard lesson in your life until now, shifting is there to make your experience in this reality a little bit easier/enjoyable, to give you strength to keep going because there is something great waiting for you, for some it feels like an exceptionally strong soul connection (!!), for some of you it feels a bit like a so called “twinflame” connection that is finally tuning into the same frequencies in this human life/reality - if you believe in this type of connections

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

To learn to connect with yourself and your emotions on a deeper level, expressing yourself wholly and authentically with youthful purity, to learn to love yourself and other as well as learning to enjoy your experience here and in other places/realities, to make use of your sensitivity and to develop your own spiritual beliefs, to just have fun and to let things happen to you, no one and no thing(reality) is bigger, better or more important than you - there is no hierarchy, there is no specific worth you need to have - you are able and “allowed” to experience anything you desire whether it is true love, freedom, adventure, joy, comfort or just silly romance. No one is deciding above your head on what you may or may not do in this universe. It's important that you understand this. (Connecting, loving and expressing/communicating seem to be very significant here in general)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ embodies the queen of swords energy. ‘Future you’ is strong and knows it. You will know that you're protected, you will be fearless and fierce, unbiased and independent. You will stay calm and open minded while still being firm (not accepting less than your ‘goal’, firm boundaries + direct communication), not giving in because ‘future you’ knows that it’s only fair that you succeed - you’re meant to succeed, you’re meant to shift. You’ll see your situation with open eyes, mind and heart, remaining positive and not losing hope. Your insights will make your beliefs stronger, therefore your faith will become also strong and unwavering. You. Will. Shift. Periodtt.

Advice for you right now:

Keep looking and acknowledging the signs around you, focus on recovery (your health, your energy etc.), forgive and fully release your past. be in the present moment and be free. 

Timing: “Create space (in your mind, life etc.) for it to happen sooner”, “Release any attachment to timing”, “Time is still unknown��� (the energy is mutable)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝚆𝙾

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To learn/practice long term commitment, to become more determined in life, to learn how to complete a “project”, to be decisive

To awaken the power of self, to build balance, to find your inner beauty and learning to appreciate it, to build your self-esteem, to give you the ability to see a future for yourself

To  understand the spiritual nature of life, to develop your intuitive abilities, and your grace in dealing with others

To increase your knowledge and wisdom, to learn to listen to your subconsciousness, to get encouraged to form your own conclusions, to recognize your vast yet subtle powers, to become a mystery in the eyes of others

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

Learning more about spirituality and other spiritual beliefs and practices, finding your joy in those things, learning about & developing your new spiritual gifts or abilities, getting closer to spirit world

Learning how to make use of your emotions/feelings and your compassion, learning how to be more receptive to creative opportunities and loving connections, and to be more deeply compassionate for other living beings

Creating the start of a new life and a new version of yourself

Learning and practicing self reflection, making important decisions for yourself and about yourself (ex. who do you want to be, etc.)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ knows that your life will drastically change and there is no going back, the change is necessary. ‘Future you’ went through a metamorphosis and is embodying the ‘king of swords' energy combined with the energy of volcano deity Pele. Your power will be enhanced by your wisdom. ‘Future you’ is wild and free, capable of anything, patient and persevering. ‘Future you’ knows exactly what to do to succeed. ‘Future you's’ approach to shifting will be very structured and disciplined, while your mind force (will power + confidence) will be wild and uncontrollable like an explosion or the eruption of a volcano. ‘Future you’ cannot be held back, shifting is inevitable at that point.

Advice for you right now:

Reconsider your current mindset one more time, spend time reflecting and ask for help from others, perhaps communicate your current ideas/plans with someone close to you to gain another perspective, communicate clearly (specifically with yourself), focusing on romance might have a positive influence!

Timing: “When you’re truly ready for it”, “Don’t lose hope”, “Create space (in your mind) for it to happen sooner” >prepare the metamorphosis<, “Gain more knowledge/wisdom”, “Meditating brings answers” 

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To have the opportunity to fulfill all your many dreams and aspirations. You might have so many that you wouldn’t be able pursue them in “just one normal life”

To stop procrastination and to choose and go after the things you desire in life

To learn to differentiate between “illusion and reality” especially in regards to what you really want to experience and what you think you want to experience… some opportunities can often lead to a major disaster (if you’re someone who romanticizes dangerous realities… shifting there might not be the best idea, buddy)

to leave seemingly good things behind in the pursuit of higher ideals, to go deeper into introspection and starting to seek the truth and to come to realizations about yourself and about life/universe etc.

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

(This is very specific and only relates to those who have special s/o:) Going through a rocky connection with someone who is probably from another reality and going through all these feelings/moods/longing in this “long distance connection”... I feel like this is about one specific person and you developed feelings for them..? Even though you’re pretty much opposites, you complement each other well and I think you feel this too… Learning how to love healthily is a theme in your journey…even ideal relationships still face difficulties, right? 

Learning how to create a stable lifestyle/mindset and to actively be thankful towards yourself but also for the things you have gained and experienced and to cherish them and the people who support you

Your shifting journey is the built up to your happily-ever-after (your reunion with someone specific and the start of many happy moments) 

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ is grounded, down-to-earth and very practical and organized. They are always on the move, improving, perhaps even teaching others, sharing their experiences and realizations. They are starting to be very secure in their beliefs and they are eager to travel the universe. Also, they feel abundant in energy, they are very self reflected and therefore overall balanced and stable in their home/cr life. ‘Future you’ acts very motherly towards themself - pushing themself when it needs to be and taking care of themself when they need a rest. ‘Future you’ does not lose their temper when things go ‘awry’, they always keep moving steadily towards their plans/goals

‘Future you’ overcomes the procrastination and follows their passion with much force. They are not scared of what is to come because they are so secure within that they feel comfortable enough to be daring in the pursuit of their goals.

Advice for you right now:

You might have to change your focus right now or rethink your current plans - there is another path that leads to more big happy changes. Always remain positive, don’t stop or procrastinate -  take action!

Timing: “Refocus and stop waiting for it”, “Trust that it will happen when the time is right”, “Summer time” (- perhaps in 2 months from now? August could be lowkey an important/happy month for you and your journey…)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

──

[tarotofhope]

PAC: ✿ Your couple archetype as Plant & Animal Spirit ✿

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)

NOTE: This reading is applicable for all kinds of romantic relationships, also whether you're asking for a current/future partner. You have to decide by yourself which one you are and which one is/could be your person. I'll just be mentioning Person A and Person B.

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

Pile 1

Person A - Starfish and Eucalyptus

Welcome to your reading Pile 1.

This person is very tough, personally and spiritually. This person has heightened senses and they will use this quality for their personal growth and clarity. I can see major earth, fire and water sign traits. This person can empathize well with people and they are also known for regeneration and renewal just like the starfish because the starfish can regenerate its arms by itself. By this, I mean to say that they can survive a sudden downfall in life or can handle huge hardships much better than others and they've gone through many serious hardships as well. They might be very young and successful too because they are very ambitious and a go-getter. They know how to take as well as create opportunities. They have great entrepreneurship qualities, could be doing a family business or self employed. Their height could be average or short. They are very pure and sacred. Like the Eucalyptus tree, they are very abundant, protective and strong. I love how Eucalyptus and the Starfish qualities are going hand in hand.

Person B - Unicorn and Pomegranate

Unicorns represent other worldliness, tranquility, healing powers, purity, innocence and grace. This person is very unique, they do their own thing. They might be very spiritual and calm. They don't like conflicts. They could be into any healing professions such as Reiki, crystal healing, therapy, yoga, counselling, tarot, white magic, etc.. They are someone who use the above mentioned qualities to enlighten the masses. Something is very magical, different and rare about them, either the way they look or present themselves or their approach to life. This person is very complex and full of surprises, could be witty and funny as well. This person has heavy water and air sign traits. This personal could change their hair color very much, or they change their overall style of looks and fashion every now and then. They could have average to tall height. They look very beautiful, graceful and enchanting. They could also have very beautiful hair. They look dreamy and could have very beautiful eyes. The pomegranate represents fertility, life, regeneration and marriage. This person is very passionate, fertile as well as very spiritually abundant, they could also be religious.

Connection of Person A & B

They both value spirituality equally. Person A could teach person B to persevere. Person B could ease Person A's mind by their wit and charm. Person A is a bit serious and B is more chill. They both can become a power couple. They respect each other's uniqueness and boundaries. Person A could be very protective of Person B. They would always help Person B.

This was all I got for you, my dear Pile 1.

Love, light, hope and peace to you..🌺🌻🌼

Pile 2

Person A - Caterpillar and Hawthorn

Welcome to your reading Pile 2.

This person does not look introverted from the outside but is someone who likes solitude most of the times. They are people who are tough and strong. They have a logical approach towards life and just like the caterpillar, they can break through/find their way out of any difficult circumstances. They might look fragile but are not because finally they are meant to transform into a butterfly. They can easily cut out toxic people from their life and can leave toxic situations behind for their own sake. They are not the ones to sit back and see their life unfolding before their eyes but the ones to come forward and take charge. They have good problem solving skills and they also like abstract concepts. They also seem very airy and fiery to me. They are very multi-talented and prosperous. They are very fertile and fiercely protective of their loved ones because hawthorn represents fertility and protection.

Person B - Moth and Maple

This person is full of wisdom and inner strength. They life is full of massive changes and transformations. They know that change is inevitable so they are not afraid when their life turns upside down. Like moths, they might appear dull or have dark feminine/dark masculine characteristics. They might have sharp features to their face or dark hair. Just like moths are attracted to light, they might be attracted towards beauty. Now, for every person it would be different, some are attracted to outer beauty while some are attracted to inner beauty while some, both. They are also someone who always look tired, has a lot of burden/responsibility on their shoulders because their whole life seems to go on non-stop and whatever they are doing, there's not much relaxation in it. They could also be interested in astrology and spirituality with the maple tree here and there are full of knowledge and wisdom. They are into deep conversations and don't like small talk. Very scorpionic/plutonian energy. They might also be very picky/choosy with people.

Connection of Person A & B

They would definitely be a power couple because they have the same outlook towards 'Change.' They, together would stand so strong like pillars with each other when things are bad. They would inculcate same values in their offsprings if they marry. You both could meet at workplace or you both are into the same line of work. You guys are made out of the same fabric. It is just that one has more experience than the other one(could also be superior-subordinate at work).

This was all I got for you, my dear Pile 2.

Love, light, hope and peace to you..🌺🌻🌼

Pile 3

Person A - Bear and Cactus

Welcome to your reading Pile 3.

This person is very resourceful but they could also be lazy. I'm also getting that they work out a lot and have build a lot of muscles, they have good physical strength. They could also have broad shoulders and broad chest area. From the outside, they might appear very rough and tough, but from the inside they are like a cuddly soft teddy bear. They might give the best hugs. They are very soft from the inside, might be actually very emotional too. They are also very protective of their loved ones and they stand like a protective shield for their own people and belongings. Nobody would want to mess with them. They might also have a lot of wisdom and experience. Major Taurus, Leo, Capricorn, Gemini, Libra and Pisces energy. They are known for their courage, confidence and leadership qualities. They are very practical and can come up with good solutions to problems. They might also like good food. With the cactus here, again(I need not say much), they are known for their strength, protectiveness, resilience, perseverance and endurance. Just like the Cactus, they have a strong and tough outer appearance but are soft from the inside. Their appearance might intimidate a lot of people and so people might be afraid to strike up a conversation with them.

Person B - Squirrel and Gulmohar

This person is known for its adaptability, resourcefulness, playfulness and organisational abilities. They are very clever and smart. They know all the tricks of the trade. Their movements could be very quick and fast just like the squirrel. They could also be very mischievous. They have a great foresight and it's not easy to get a hold of them. They are very active and can't get themselves to be at one place all the time. They are always doing some or the other thing, a busy bee. They like variety in life. They don't like to be boring or get bored, so they are always surrounded by people who match their craze. They like excitement, fun and travelling. Major Libra, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius energy. They could also have a great sense of humour or their humour is broken. Their physique could be petite and small but that is just a facade, don't go on their looks, they can build or bring an whole empire down with that little body. I'm also getting a cat's energy here. So much similarity. Like the gulmohar, they are very vibrant and are known for their beauty and grace.

Connection of Person A & B

Both are quite similar in resourcefulness but also quite the opposite otherwise. One is funny and the other one is serious. Tall-short couple or it could be that one is plump and the other one is skinny. Person A could be very protective of Person B. Person B will bring a lot of fun and adventure in Person A's life. Person A will show Person B that being at home can also be good too, cozy and warm. They bring different things to the table so they'll have to adjust with one another. They might have arguments sometimes but they need to look at the bright side of their relationship.

This was all I got for you, my dear Pile 3.

Love, light, hope and peace to you..🌺🌻🌼

Pile 4

Person A - Crow and Lavender

Welcome to your reading Pile 4.

This person is so clever and witchy. They always keep a poker face/resting b**** face. They might be into astrology, tarot, witchcraft, wicca, paganism and spirituality, could also be their main profession. They could also be into healing professions such as Reiki, therapy, counselling, crystal healing, etc.. They have very unique or different(different from their community) firm beliefs and a standoffish personality. People might consider them weird or awkward so this person A is misunderstood a lot. They might have heavy Gemini, Aquarius, Pisces, Scorpio, 8th House/12th House placements. They appear intimidating to some people while very intriguing to others. They have this mysterious aura around them. So much goth vibes. They are into dark humor. They could also be a bit closed off or very picky or choosy. They have this huge contrast in their personality such as they could be very secretive, shy or quiet but could also be very talkative with people close to them or they can take a stand for themselves and others. They can communicate their emotions very well. They are a good blend of logic and emotions. The crow is also associated with the third eye and crown chakra, so these people have great wisdom and intuition and can work as a spiritual medium such as a tarot card reader, shaman, tantrik, exorcist etc. They can either use their speech for enlightenment or manipulation. Lavender represents innocence, silence, purity, devotion, peace and calmness. They remain calm unless they're provoked. Purple color of lavender also represents the third eye chakra.

Person B - Sparrow and Eucalyptus

Person B This person is very positive and cheerful, very hard working, but at the same time also very chill. They know how to relax even in a busy schedule. They are very community oriented people because sparrows work in their community and they live in harmony with each other and are very social. They are a symbol of good luck, hope, joy and harmony. They could also be very funny and talkative. These people have this good blend of fire, air and earth signs. They are very sociable as well as reliable. They could have a sweet speech or could be good singers. They might also be a musician or like to play instruments. They are like a good luck charm for many people. They might also be very extroverted and sturdy. They don't give up on things easily. They are hopeful, productive and goal-oriented, very materialistic but very kind and helpful. They might even offer good advice to people. Like the eucalyptus tree, they are very strong, protective and abundant as well. They are a go getter and also strive hard to get things done. They might also like travelling a lot. Their career could be related to travel and tourism.

Connection of Person A & B

You guys are like earth and water, different from each other but you both compliment each other, you need each other. Person B could be mesmerized by Person A's mysterious aura, intuition and uniqueness. Person A could love how funny, community oriented, hard working, kind and traditional Person B is. There is a mutual respect for each other's talents and gifts. You guys balance each other well.

This was all I got for you, my dear Pile 4.

Love, light, hope and peace to you..🌺🌻🌼

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

———————————♡ ♡ ♡———————————

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Pick a Card: Message from your Inner-Child

Your inner baby needs you to listen. This reading will help them speak their mind clearly. Will you hear them out? Take what resonates and let go of all the rest but be willing to accept new experiences.

☀️Donate to my CashApp🌙

(fund my inner child's joy)

Feel free to drop any reading suggestions in my inbox. I'll keep them in mind when divining the wisdom that needs delivered to y'all's lil ears. Thank you in advance for all your help and support!

Decks used are The Kawaii Tarot, Pure Magic Oracle, Romantic Lenormand and The Karma Cards.

_____________________________________________________________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Capricorn, Aquarius, Libra

Song: Pantsuit Sasquatch by Molly Lewis

Vibes: Green, red, night sky, thorns, bouquet, red flowers, chess, star gazing, alligator, aroma therapy, herbal remedies, apothecary, rabbits, snake skin, olive branch, Zues, Demeter

Cards: 6 of Swords, Saturn, Tower, Lilies, Herbal Craft, Hallowed Heart

Hello, pile 1. Your inner child is really tired of having to be the adult for people who are older than them. They are tired of playing mentor for those who should be mentoring. They want to be done with those people. They are holding up a building with their tiny arms and their shaking frame. As if someone put the world on their shoulders and asked them to carry it with bones that were not developed enough to hold it and without the mental fortitude to withstand the pressure. They wish to rest. They wish to lash out at the adults who relied on them before they were ready or willing. I see your inner child resembles Alice in Wonderland. After the wicked adults in your inner child's life grew white flowers, they demanded it was your fault and made you paint the white roses, red. They took their purity. They hurt you a lot.

The main message I am hearing from them is, "Please be gentle with my little heart and my small frame. I was treated harshly purely for being alive. I need healing. I need time to rest and recuperate. Please do not yell at me for my mistakes. Please do not hurt me for my shortcomings. I did not ask to be here. I only wish for it to get better than it is now. I'm sorry I wasn't mature. I'm sorry I've been impatient but I have been patient for so long. I've spent so much time waiting for my caretakers to do their jobs. Please. I don't need structure. I need relief."

They do not hold you accountable for everything that happened to you, my dear. They are reaching their little hands out for you to help them up. They want to be more present in your life. They want to have fun again. They didn't have enough of it as a child. They want to play outside. The last message I'll leave you with is some advice I find very important.

"Play is the psychological opposite of Trauma."

____________

PILE TWO

Astrology: Scorpio, Gemini, Cancer (maybe libra)

Song: Burn Your Village by Kiki Rockwell

Vibes: Grey, pink, purple, corvids, pinecones, sage, lavender plant, grizzly bear, spider, scorpio, eagle, hummingbird, long hair, video games, D&D, law, Zephyr, Eurus, Callisto, Artemis, Hecate

Cards: Justice, Clouds, Bear, Hecate's Path, Songbirds, 8th House

Hi, pile 2. Your inner child is full of vengeance. I see that without the vengeful energy they are very respectful and kind. Their anger is extremely understandable and a reaction induced by the environment they grew up in. Your inner child has an intense sense of justice. They know they have been treated unjustly by the authority in their life. Those in control of their circumstance took their autonomy and right of trial. The authorities judged you harshly for no good reason and were unpredictable. The authority would explode at random instances making them hard to anticipate. They were dangerous. Purely because they wanted to make your life miserable to cope with their own miserable life. Your inner child did not deserve that. Your inner innocence was corrupted into a furious and resentful person. They are aware they deserved better. They were conscious of their mistreatment. I see they could have been mistreated because of their race or gender.

The message I am hearing the loudest from your inner child is, "Those filthy horrid people deserve to atone for their wrong doings. No one helped me. They didn't even listen. They took that authorities word for truth and no one heard my side of the story. I am not a liar. I am not guilty. I did nothing wrong and now my older self doesn't even believe me either. The people who did this to me will pay. They will face justice if I have to be the one to dish it out. I hate them. I hate what they turned me into. I was pure. I was innocent. Now look at what they have made me. This isn't fair. This isn't right! Why was I treated this way!? Why does no one believe me?! I will never abuse power like that person did. I will end this cycle of abuse. I release and remove everyone who blamed me without learning the whole story. I am letting go of the pain they put me through. They do not deserve me or my kindness. They only deserve my hatred and resentment. I hope they burn."

Your inner child begs you to protect them from the people who did this to you. I can feel they are still in your life. It might be a father or a brother or an uncle. I also see it could be a pastor. Your inner baby will continue to lash out at random times because they have no where to aim all this negative emotion. They want to be free of guilt that shouldn't be theirs. They want to be free of judgmental eyes. Free them from the illusion that this authority laid over everyones eyes. I leave you with one last message.

"The weakest link will target the strongest link to avoid that they're useless."

_________

PILE THREE

Astrology: Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius

Song: Heart of a Dancer by The Happy Fits

Vibes: Blue, pink, forest green, androgenous, duality, 2b hair texture, robins, blue jays, coffee mugs, sculpting, yin/yang, balance, rose quartz, pearl, magnolia tree, gardening, bonfire, 3rd eye, Aphrodite, Hermaphroditus, archangel Samuel, Lucifer Morningstar, Baphomet

Cards: 8 of Cups, Birds, Woman, Pyro-kinesis, Closing Circle, Virgo, 7th House, North Node

Hey there, pile 3. I feel many complex emotions from your inner child. I see how they were conditioned is much different than how they genuinely are. They were conditioned to be quiet, serene and passive. But when they are acting genuine it is exact opposite. They are loud, angry and active. There is a need to walk away from their conditioning and those who conditioned them. They don't know how to ask that of you because of how they were taught. They do not speak unless spoken too and this makes it difficult for them to communicate with you. They are anxious they will be punished if they ask for anything of you. Invite them forward and allow them to speak their mind. They hold back a lot of emotion that needs to be expressed. You need to be open to hearing what they have to say.

The important message I need to tell you from them is, "You will benefit from our collaboration. I'm sorry for speaking up but you are not following your heart anymore. You are following what you have been told. This is not authenticity that you display. It is fake. Even if it is well-meaning you are not yourself. You are pretending to be someone else. Please let me express my rage. Please let me express my heart. I can't hold it anymore. I don't wanna feel this way anymore. Let me chatter and chirp and yell and scream. I wasn't allowed to when I was young. I need the freedom to do so now. Allow me to open doors I was never allowed to enter. Please see me in my full complexity. I am more than just a pretty face. I am more than my body. I am a person. I have personality. I have beliefs. I am a benefit to society when I can speak. I am not a waste. I am good as I am. I don't need to bottle my true self to make others comfortable. Free me, please."

They are asking you to allow yourself and your inner child to be themselves. They deserve space to exist freely without having to hide themselves away. I honestly don't need to say much more but I will leave you with one more piece of advice.

"Authenticity is the most powerful way to exist."

___________

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Taurus, Aries, Pisces (maybe aquarius)

Song: If My Heart Was a House by Owl City

Vibes: Muted colors, yellow, orange, fairies, sunflowers, barn owl, cat mint, raptors, vase, eyes, beards, lotus, candles, chimneys, diamond, playing cards, hobbits, anime, Apollo, Athena, Aphrodite

Cards: King of Pentacles, Sun, Owls, Ancestors, Gnomes, Aquarius, Venus

Hello and welcome, pile 4. Your inner child is asking me to tell you that you won't find the love you are looking for in other people. You won't find it in romance. You won't find it in friendship. At least not until you can find it in them. They didn't have the luxury of building their life on an identity that was theirs. They don't even know who they are. You need to explore them. Discover yourself in them. Be friends with them. They long for connection and the only one who can give that to them is you. They spent their whole life just trying to survive that they found identity in the pain they experienced. There is so much more to them than victimhood. So much more than their trauma. They are bright as the sun and immensely smart. They are funny and creative. Let yourself and your inner child grow beyond your collective pain and become something more. Your family isn't the pinnacle of humanity. I have a feeling that your family might have a narcissist among them. They are only a facet of humanity, my friend. There is so much more to your life than being approved by others. You are made of magic. You need to see that.

The message I hear from your inner child is, "I'm done striving for love from people who never intend on giving it to me no matter how perfectly I perform. I'm tired chasing something I'm never going to catch up too. I've always known I'm better than that. They made me feel so small though. They made me feel so pointless and useless. I worked so hard for their love but they will only ever love themselves. They will never have enough room in their heart for me. They make me feel like I'm not enough. I want to give myself the love they never could afford for me. I want to be loved so much. I want to be held and cherished the way I deserve to be. I am enough even if they say I'm not. I've always been enough even though I'm small. They are a giant black hole of emptiness and nothing. They are jealous of my light. I wish my older self could see that. I'm not selfish for wanting to be loved. I'm not wrong for wanting to be adored. I'm worth the effort. Please, see that it's true. I want to be known for who I am. I want to be discovered. I wish so deeply to be seen and appreciated. I'm the only one who can do it."

Your inner child is asking something of you. They ask you to take the role of mother and father for yourself. A role that was never filled even if you had your parents in your life. They neglected you. So much so you felt like you didn't deserve love but you desperately craved it. My dear, I will leave you with one last message and then the rest is up to you.

"You are worthy of being loved by you."

[m-ilkiee]

Monsters: Manjiro "Mikey" Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

“He ate my heart”

Pairings: Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano x female reader, Izana Kurokawa x female reader

Series summary: Your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. And now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

Content warning generally: DARK CONTENT, Tokyo revengers AU, female reader, virgin reader, heavy smut, polyamory, Dark Impulse Mikey, Manipulative Izana, inaccurate/inconsistent university terminology, heavy angst with little comfort, betrayal, misogyny and sexism, emotional, physical and mental abuse, mental break, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harrassment, dubious consent, noncon, drug, alcohol and substance misuse/abuse, extreme violence, use of weapons, Torture, criminal activities, PTSD, paranoia, emotional incest, power imbalance, character death(s) (not reader), anal penetration, mention of self-harm, religious guilt and trauma, religious themes, Vouyeurism, gangbang, masochism, sadism, hard kinks, strangulation (non sexual), psychological horror (more warnings to be added soon)

main masterlist||taglist link||playlist [available on a03 + extra chapters and wattpad]

Chapter 1: Warning Signals

chapter summary: Being friends with Emma Sano is nice, until you get on the wrong side of the Sano brothers.

cw: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, misogyny, alcohol/drug use, brief mention of violence, religious and purity culture themes, classism, slutshaming, p*rn mention, sexual assault, noncon, public initimacy, fingering (fem recieving), dacryphilia, gaslighting, manipulation, mention of vomitting, victim blaming.

wc: 10.1k

Chapter 2: Shots Fired

chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.

cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, implied domestic abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, manipulation, gaslighting, mind break, psychological torture, use of firearms

wc: 11.6k

Chapter 3: The Lesser of Two Devils

chapter summary: Emma has a suspicion that both her brothers are into you when you all go shopping. She couldn’t be farther from the truth.

cw: coming soon

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Chapter 4: The Calm

chapter summary: After your college professor tries to harass you for grades, you turn to the oldest Sano for help. But nothing comes for free, not even for Emma’s sweet friend.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 5: Act on Dark Impulses

chapter summary: You knew better than to trust Mikey and Izana. Yet you fall for their plan hook, line and sinker and live through the worst night of your life.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 6: The Closest you’ll ever get to being in Love

chapter summary: Things get sicker and twisted with the two brothers and Emma is none the wiser.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 7: Trials and Tribulations

chapter summary: You learn the hard way what happens when you refuse to be their stress relief because of your important exams.

cw: coming soon

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Chapter 8: Divine Intervention

chapter summary: You are called home to bury your mother and learn that nothing has changed since you left.

cw: coming soon

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Chapter 9: Lead me not into Temptation

chapter summary: Emma notices that something isn’t right with you when you come visit her in the Sano residence.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 10: Deliver Me from All Evil

chapter summary: You’ve finally broken the cycle, but at what cost?

cw: coming soon

wc:

authors notes: updates are irregular, depending on when i have time. some chapters have been re-written to fit the original storyline. don't pressure me to update and please don't be rude to me. I do not condone any negative actions done on this fic. comments, reblogs and asks are very much appreciated. if you are a minor, please refrain from interracting with this series.

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[fyodere]

spy x family ! au yuri briar smut ( pt. 1 ) ♡

complex feelings about you

﹙ 🦇 ﹚── parings : yuri briar x fem!reader ♡

₍^. .^₎⟆ ── content warnings / tags : nsfw content (mdni), yandere themes (we’re talking about yuri), obsession, mutual obsession (kinda), masturbation, virginity kink, purity kink in general, yuri touching himself wearing his uniform 😩, kind of sexting ???, stalking

﹙ 🔪 ﹚── synopsis : Yuri was immersed in his obsession with you, becoming more and more determined to uncover every detail about your life. He searched through every file folder, every record, wishing to fully understand who you were. His fixation exceeded healthy boundaries, replacing even the photos of his sister with images of you in his personal spaces.

﹙ 🩸 ﹚── author's note : IM SO SORRY FOR THIS. i’m being for real. sorry for not posting the requests or my other drafts. yuri was simply calling for me. THIS IS GOING TO BE A SERIES because i need more yuri content. anyway, HAPPY EASTER <3

When you first laid eyes on Yuri, something clicked in your head.

Perhaps it was his innocent brown-reddish eyes; his youthful and gentle demeanor, reminiscent of a puppy; or maybe his slightly long black hair that practically caressed his shoulders; perhaps his unexpectedly masculine and strong stature.

Truth be told, when you saw Yuri Briar for the first time, you flipped, completely.

You were just a secretary working in the public sector for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Your job was relatively simple but tiring. Tasks like scheduling appointments, organizing documents, answering phones, drafting correspondence, and providing administrative support to members of the Ministry were part of your routine. You played an important role in maintaining efficiency and coordinating activities within the institution. Not that you were extremely valued — of course not. But still, the salary was good enough to sustain your humble and comfortable life in Ostania.

You saw Briar for the first time on your first day of work, early in the morning. He was standing, holding a cup of coffee while talking to his superior with a smile.

Your heart skipped a beat.

When you looked at Yuri, it was love at first sight. Your eyes widened, your face grew warm, and you blushed. How could such a handsome man be working in the same place as you? Staring at him for another brief moment, you presumed he was probably young and around your age. Your heart skipped another beat, did you two have something in common? The thought made you want to slap yourself; how could you fantasize about a man you hadn't even met?

You approached your superior, introducing yourself. The red-eyed man was by his side, and you resisted — emphasis on resisted — the urge to stare at him.

Your superior gave you instructions for the day and left, suddenly leaving you alone with the boy who took your breath away.

"I see it's your first day as a secretary, hm?" He said, now looking at you. "Pleasure to meet you, I'm Yuri Briar. I'm the Minister of Foreign Affairs."

So young and with such a high position? You thought.

"... I hope we can get along." He added, with a smile. And you felt your knees weaken.

"Of course, Mr. Briar! I'll do my best to be useful to you." Pathetically formal. But what could you do? Just his presence fried your neurons; it was better to err on the side of formality than to be disrespectful. Yuri gave you a smile, and your heart squeezed.

"It's okay, you don't need to be so formal." He chuckled softly, with his eyes closed. "I need to go to a meeting now, if it's not too much trouble, I need help with the paperwork..." And then he gave you instructions on what you should do in his absence.

Your face stayed red for the rest of the day, and your heart felt tight. The man with black hair wouldn't leave your mind. You organized things as you were asked, unconsciously dreaming of receiving praise from Briar.

Lost in reverie, it was already night, and Yuri hadn't arrived yet. You were cleaning his desk, lost in your thoughts, when unexpectedly, a voice cut through your train of thought.

"Hey!" It was Yuri. "You're still here, sorry for keeping you here so late." he rubbed his own neck with his hands timidly, with a smile. Unbeknownst to you, the room was empty. It was just you and Briar.

"N-No, Mr. Briar." You said, stuttering. "I lost track of time out of distraction. You're not to blame for anything. I did what was asked of me, now I'll be going home." You tried to leave quickly, feeling your face burn.

"Don't you want company? It's dangerous for a woman to go out alone at this hour." He said, with a calm demeanor. "I would hate to see my sister walking alone at this hour."

"Do you have a sister?"

"I do, an older sister." He said with a smile. "But, uh, the offer still stands. I can accompany you so you don't walk alone."

"No, Mr. Briar!" You replied. "You don't need to be so kind, I live nearby. It won't be a long walk, such concern isn't necessary."

"If you insist..." He replied, with a smile. The same smile that almost made you lose your balance and the strength to stand.

You left, walking in opposite directions. You couldn't help but blush remembering the dialogue exchanged with the young man; the heat in your body protected you from the cold of the street. And, without realizing it, you had already arrived home.

You lay on the bed sighing, with your hand resting on your chest. Remembering every word, every smile exchanged with the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

The next few days passed quickly. Unbeknownst to you, it had been months since you started working at the public ministry. Honestly, you didn't exchange many words with Briar. The red-eyed boy was busy with various meetings — which was understandable, given his enviable position — you understood, but secretly missed the dark-haired man and the small smiles and short dialogues exchanged.

Until the fateful day arrived.

"Can I talk to you?" Yuri spoke near your ear, you were cleaning the countertop, lost in your thoughts, you hadn't even noticed the approach of the dark-haired man.

"Of course, Mr. Briar." You turned to him.

"I've observed your behavior over the past few months," He said with his characteristic smile. "And you're exemplary! I talked to the higher-ups to give you a promotion!"

"But— huh? I can't believe I can be promoted, Mr. Briar." You said insecurely, and he replied with a laugh.

"Don't worry. It's a position, um... let's say, a bit secretive." He said, putting his index finger on his lips. "Soon, some superior will talk to you about the details!" And then he left, leaving you confused and anxious. What kind of position would this be?

A few hours passed, and you were called for a meeting. You entered the room, visibly nervous.

And what happened? Oh, what happened...

You were explained about the State security service, the secret police. Now you would work with the feared by civilians, secret police, was that what Yuri wanted?

So Briar's job as minister was a force?

All the details were explained to you, your role hadn't changed, you would only be given files of deep secrecy, which sent a shiver down your spine. Would you be able to carry such responsibility?

Your workplace had now changed. You found yourself going every morning to the discreet lair of the State security service. Once again, you were close to Briar, taking care of his confidential papers.

Now you knew Yuri's true profession. Honestly, you were amazed at the violence exerted by the security service. However, such a discovery made your heart race. Discovering another side of Briar made your breathing heavy; you were delirious with excitement. Now, that was a secret you both shared.

And, of course, he looked ridiculously handsome in his secret police uniform.

Now, you shared more moments together. Considering that all meetings that Yuri attended were a sham, and that, in fact, he was in that place the whole time.

Honestly, you didn't exchange many words. The atmosphere in that place was more tense, more serious. And now, you knew Yuri had interrogations. Interrogations in which Briar was not merciful, interrogations in which the black-haired man had no shame when it came to using violence.

You knew how brutish Yuri was — after all, you cleaned the blood from the room after interrogations —, it made your heart race in anxiety and fear, but also in desire.

At that moment, you were cleaning the interrogation room that had just been used by Briar. The smell of sweat and blood hangs in the air.

But the perfume of the red-eyed man too.

You were alone in the room, the highly trained police officers were going about their business, and Yuri was probably in some meeting with Desmond and his superiors about some plan to prevail for the glory of Ostania.

The room was already clean, and you admired your good work together. For a moment, you picked up a small towel that was resting under the table, brought it to your nose, and, closing your eyes, you inhaled the odor given off by the cloth.

It was Yuri's. You knew from the specific smell, he had probably used it to dry his sweat during the interrogation.

You inhaled it again, closing your eyes tightly, imagining Yuri next to you. And, without realizing it, your panties dampened just by imagining Briar behind you, rubbing against your body, sighing in your ear.

Finally, you began to rub your intimacy on the corner of the table, on the most pointed part of the table, rubbing your wet and needy cunt against the furniture, feeling a wave of pleasure run through your entire body.

“Mr. Briar—Ah!” You moaned, but then quickly covered your mouth, and in a moment of realization, you realized what you were doing. "My God." You say, moving away from the furniture, with your hands, slightly trembling over your mouth.

You were taught that women of value don't touch themselves or succumb to the pleasures of the flesh, but Yuri, with that black hair and reddish eyes, made you lose your temper.

When Yuri Briar first saw you, a switch flipped in his head.

Maybe it was your clumsy steps, betraying nervousness; your eyes shyly cast down; the way you twirled your hair, reflecting shyness; perhaps your innocent and defenseless demeanor, like someone in need of protection.

Truth be told, when Yuri Briar first saw you, he flipped, completely.

Briar held the position of a diplomat as a facade; in reality, the dark-haired man worked for Ostania's secret police as a counterintelligence agent. He had initially started his job in the ministry as an ordinary worker but was soon chosen to work in the secret police, safeguarding Ostania's future.

Briar saw you for the first time on his first day of work, early in the morning. He stood there, holding a cup of coffee while speaking to his superior with a smile.

His heart skipped a beat.

Yuri, with his spy skills, felt your gaze and discreetly looked back at you. It was love at first sight. Yuri noticed your sweetly timid face as you entered the room; Briar felt his face grow warm and flush. How could such a beautiful, pure, helpless, and worthy-of-protection woman be less than 6 meters away from him?

How did he know this? Briar could read your body language, your gaze, and your delicate voice.

Staring at you for another brief moment, he presumed that you were probably young and around his age. Yuri's heart skipped another beat; he had never felt such a strong urge to protect someone besides his sister.

Then, he felt you approaching your superior, introducing yourself. The man with reddened eyes stood by your side trying to conceal his slightly flushed face. Damn, wasn't spy training enough to learn how to hide his emotions?

Your superior gave you instructions on what would be done that day and left; suddenly, you two were alone.

"I see it's your first day as a secretary, hm?" He says, now looking at you. "Pleasure, my name is Yuri Briar. I'm the Minister of Foreign Relations."

Oh, so pure, so precious. He thought.

"... I hope we can get along." He adds, with a smile, trying not to reveal all his thoughts of protecting you.

"Of course, Mr. Briar! I'll do my best to be useful to you." Pathetically formal. But what could you do? Yuri gives you a smile, inevitably amazed by your tenderness. How could you be so lovely?

"It's okay, you don't have to be so formal." He chuckles softly, eyes closed, trying to reassure you. "I need to go to a meeting now, if it's not too much trouble, I need help with the paperwork..." And then he gave you instructions on what you should do in his absence.

Yuri was now at the secret police headquarters; suddenly, he found himself thinking of you. Without a second thought, he rummages through his stack of files, wanting to find out everything — anything — about you.

Yuri was immersed in his obsession with you, becoming more and more determined to uncover every detail about your life. He searched through every file folder, every record, wishing to fully understand who you were. His fixation exceeded healthy boundaries, replacing even the photos of his sister with images of you in his personal spaces.

As he delved deeper into this insatiable quest for information about you, the line between reality and fantasy became increasingly blurred. His mind was filled with thoughts of consuming you completely, possessing every aspect of your existence.

The next days passed quickly. Unnoticed, it had been months since you worked at the public ministry. Honestly, you didn't exchange many words with Briar. The red-eyed boy was busy with several meetings — which was understandable, given his enviable position — you understood, but secretly missed the dark-haired man and the small smiles and short conversations exchanged.

Until the fateful day arrived.

Yuri had a plan, a plan he was proud of. It was only a matter of time until you were in his hands.

You were cleaning the counter completely concentrated, in a quick and discreet move, he put an earpiece in your ear "Can I talk to you?" Yuri spoke near your ear, you hadn't even noticed the approach of the dark-haired man.

"Of course, Mr. Briar." You turned to him.

"I've observed your behavior over the past few months," He says with his characteristic smile. "And you are exemplary! I've spoken to the superiors to give you a promotion!"

"But— huh? I can't believe I could be promoted, Mr. Briar." You said insecurely, and he responded with a laugh.

"Don't worry. It's a position, um... let's say, a bit secretive." He says, putting his index finger on his lips. "Soon, some superior will talk to you about the details!" And then he left, leaving you confused and distressed. What kind of position could this be?

It was the perfect plan.

Yuri did what was necessary to put you in the State Security service. He just needed to recommend you and be patient.

Time passed, and there you were, working as a secretary for the secret police. Yuri couldn't help but smirk maliciously when he heard the news. He had already heard the entire conversation the superiors had with you through the bug, but nonetheless, Briar relished hearing the news officially.

Your workplace had now changed. You found yourself going to the discreet lair of the State Security service every morning. Once again, you were close to Briar, taking care of his confidential papers.

Honestly, you didn't exchange many words. The atmosphere in that place was more tense, more serious. And now, you knew that Yuri had interrogations. Interrogations that Briar was not merciful in, interrogations that the dark-haired man had no qualms about using violence.

Yuri had just finished another one of his violent interrogations, using all tactics, from physical to psychological torture to get the necessary information. Then, after the interrogation was over, he left.

Arriving home and still in his uniform, Yuri heard gasps — gasps coming from you. Soon he felt his face burn and his heart race. Did you… no. He knew you didn’t have a boyfriend and that you weren’t talking to any other men.

“Mr. Briar—ah!”

That was the last straw.

With his hands on his face after hearing what you had said through the wire, Yuri felt his knees weaken. Damn, you had an effect on him.

Briar felt his manhood throb, it was painful as it practically ripped his black boxers. But what the hell. Why he couldn't control his primal instincts when it comes to you?

So, even dressed in the uniform that should represent love for the country, he caressed his throbbing intimacy, which pulsed with each breath he took.

Then, Yuri noticed the end of your graceful sounds. He felt so dirty, so disgusting and disgusting to hear you in such an intimate moment. But even so, your voice, your delicate voice, so vulnerable and precious calling him by his last name in the middle of such adorable sounds made him feel like the most despicable man on Earth.

When you got home, you felt your intimacy tingling. The way her panties were wet bothered her. God, since when did you become like this? You washed your face, trying, in some way, to purify your mind. What the hell were you thinking?

Your face was still hot, and your heart was beating so fast it felt like it would escape through your mouth. Your face felt hot—as did your body—but what the fuck? You were satisfying your carnal desires while thinking about the red-eyed diplomat, and worse, you did it on his desk.

You ran to bed and smothered your face in pillows, trying, somehow, to escape the tricks your mischievous mind played on you.

And then, your mind wandered, and you emerged into your thoughts.

You were sitting on the table, with your legs open and Yuri between them. You were kissing, tongues swirling and eyes rolling. Gasps, bites, lust, desire.

You break the kiss, saying, “Mr. Briar, if someone catches us—“

“Shh…” He whispers. “Do you know why I'm in the state security service, hm? I can do the dirty work and get rid of the evidence.” He says, then kissing you again. Yuri's hands traveled over his body. One hand supporting her delicate torso, and the other venturing through all the lines and curves there were.

Without realizing it, you start touching your thighs.

Yuri was strong, agile and determined. This made you even more in love with him, Briar had so many qualities that you could snort remembering. But not. Not at that moment, you can only focus on his hot tongue exploring the roof of your mouth, the hot air that came out of him touching your skin in the middle of kiss breaks and summaries. God, Yuri was so good, so good. The man with reddish eyes breaks the kiss again, this time saying something.

“You look so beautiful like this.” He says, taking his hand off your hip and placing it on his face. “With a flushed face, heavy breathing. Just succumbing to my touch.” He lets out a nasal laugh.

“Mr. Briar, I—“

“I’m not done talking yet.” He cuts him off, his hand, which was caressing his face, goes down to his inner thighs. “No man touched you, yeah?”

“Uhm.” You nod, visibly nervous.

“So perfect for me. So pure, so defenseless…” He licks his lips, and the once affection turns into strong squeezes on the inside of your thighs, leaving marks.

You decide to imitate him, squeezing your own thighs as you imagine Yuri's firm touch.

Then, his hand moves up, like a light glide, caressing your private area, which, honestly, pulsed and squeezed the air begging for touches.

“No man…” Briar said with a light laugh. “No man…” He reaches your most sensitive spot, rubbing it deliciously, making you moan.

“A-Ah—ha!”

It didn't take long for his hand to reach your needy part, you simulated Yuri's touch once again, closing your eyes to concentrate on the moment.

“So beautiful…” The red-eyed boy says, slowly inserting a finger into your hot, soaked entrance. Fuck! You were asking for this, you were begging for Yuri's fingers entering you.

Yuri's eyes, once radiating innocence and tenderness, now glowed deeply with pure lust.

It was late at night, Briar found herself in a delicate situation. He tried to fall asleep at any cost, but his mind was just a loop of his voice calling him.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Yuri hears gooey noises coming from his ear. Hmm? What could it be now? He thought focusing on the sounds coming from the other end of the line.

“Ah—ah! There is!" He heard your sweet voice again, as the sticky noises grew louder. Yuri wanted to cover his face with so much shame, the event he had tried so hard to get out of his mind was now repeating itself in full force, longer and more intense.

How could you sound so lovely, precious and worthy of protection at a time like that?

Yuri felt his cock throb painfully for the second time that day, Briar snorted, he needed you. Then, he took his cock out of the boxers that covered it, pre-cum leaking from his tip. But what the hell? Was he really so needy because of some sounds?

I mean, Yuri had definitely touched himself thinking about you before—more times than he'd like to admit—but now he felt like an intruder. A dirty, perverted intruder. His mind was so full of dirty thoughts about you, so since you were relieving yourself, why wouldn't he do the same?

Briar moans softly as she squeezes his cock. Damn, you must be so perfect to be fucked. Yuri watches the veins on his member pop out and his glans redden, in pure excitement.

“Ha… fuck…” He moans and then says his name in a sly tone, calling for you.

“Mhmmm… Ah…” He hears you on the other side “Ah—ah! Yuri..!"

That was enough. For the first time, he had heard you say his first name. And still with that precious voice full of malice. That was enough, enough for Yuri to start masturbating like crazy, imagining pumping you with his cock.

[tellmeallaboutit]

give me all your NSFW Raphael headcanons, please <3

GLADLY! TW: those are for Dark!Raphael as always, I don't have any other flavour of Raphael in store.

The more excited Raphael gets, the more he loses control of his tail. It waggles, it slashes the air, it twitches, it lives its own best life.

Generally has a crazy and hard to control libido due to his infernal nature. He is not very happy with this as it makes him easier to influence and control and he is very aware of this.

Absolutely loves tears. Especially licking tears. Has his own rating system for tears based on their purity, roundness, saltiness and clarity. Tav's are 12/10.

Does have problems with finishing too quickly, but his refractory period is so short it doesn't really matter.

Couldn't care less when people stroke his horns. Laughs at the fascination mortals have with them. Plays right into it and doesn't leave his house without giving his horns a thorough waxing for extra shine.

Raphael can generally take a jab, but not about his performance in bed or perceived dominance. Haarlep knows it. If Haarlep could, they would post posters all over the hells with RAPHAEL SUCKS DICK FOR A SOUL COIN AND HE SUCKS AT IT

100% sadomasochistic (mostly sadistic) to the point of not wanting/understanding vanilla sex at all and only having it for ulterior seduction purposes. 'Everything is about sex, sex is about power' is his motto.

Selfish in bed, not only with Haarlep. His orgasm is an absolute must and a goal we should all strive for, yours is optional unless he wants to make it a point of control/domination. You should be coming in your pants at the sight of him anyway, and if you're not, that's a clear 'you' problem.

Haarlep gets less respect than a dildo, because at least a dildo gets cleaned afterwards.

You'd be hard pressed to find a kink that would be a hard no for him. Tentacles and illithids maybe.

But when it comes to favourites, it's humiliation, degradation, fear play. And a corruption kink, of course. His whole life is a corruption kink.

Has strong hunting instincts, which he generally finds BENEATH HIM, but absolutely cannot resist when they kick in.

His sperm burns. Not the nice warm fuzzy feeling, it burns. Not to the point of actual damage, but to the point where you're screaming for him to finish somewhere else.

Doesn't care much for virgins. Like, it's nice, he definitely wouldn't turn them down, but it's much more important that they have a SUCCULENT soul.

Don't ask me about the chamber pot guy, I don't want to know and you don't want to know either.

On a totally unrelated note: he doesn't find things (fluids, excretions) that we humans find repulsive so repulsive; I suppose sulphur smells pleasant to him, and sulphur smells like… yeah, go smell some sulphur yourself.

He actually likes to curl up around something, tail and wings included, and press his weight against his bed partner. It's hot, uncomfortable, leaves you with a high chance of suffocation, and again, a 'you' problem.

Aftercare? What aftercare? He is a busy man, he has more important things to do. Haarlep can do it, they don't have shit to do anyway.

Unless it's mind games and the purpose is to break you. Then okay, he might have five (5) minutes to caress and praise the poor mortal.

Obsessive, has had several obsessions in his life (they didn't make it out alive) It's not always the same thing that triggers the "gotta have it, gotta have it, gotta have it". With Hope it was her purity, but with other objects of affection it was different. Must be something he feels is "very special" though, because all things very special should by definition belong to Raphael.

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Why is death feederism ok? It is objectively self harm, as one is doing something that will result in them hurting themselves and eventually dying (as fetishized). I just can’t understand it… I am someone in this space that likes being stuffed and full, and doesn’t mind a little biy of wg… but I just don’t understand why gaining until death is encouraged so much when it’s so extreme and life ruining.

Like if there was a feeder and feedee couple that were into it… what would happen if the feeder had issues and couldn’t help the feedee that is reliant on their feeder? What happens if they break up and the feedee is dependent enough where they need family or something to help?? I mean it’s just… they could literally die if they were so dependent and forced to live on their own.. encouraging people to ruin their lives because it makes their private part excited is encouraging self harm.

This is my opinion and I seriously want to know what you have to say… I brought this up to someone else and their response was to block me and say “I think death feeding women think more critically about the fetish🤔” without response. And just so you know this isn’t fatphobic, i never once said I find fat people gross or anything, I just find the idea of fetishizing self harm gross. It’s fetishizing being disabled and or dead.

TW for death feedism, kink talk, self harm/suicide

so general disclaimer - I am not a death feedist and so I don’t know that I’m a good representative to speak on this topic but I’ll share some brief thoughts.

I think it’s okay to look at extreme fetishes and feel uncomfortable with them, so I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t feel the way you do. I was very critical of people who practiced this fetish in ways I personally didn’t like and this community helped me realize it’s not my business to do that. There is no moral superiority in kink.

The thing is though - in order to be sex positive and an ally to our fellow feedists (yes, even the ones we disagree with or don’t like how they practice the fetish) we have to respect their bodily autonomy and allow them to make whatever decisions they think is best for them. It’s not our job nor our place to tell folks what they can and can’t do.

I would maybe agree that it’s a slippery slope and in a very extreme case, you could argue that this line of thinking would allow us to excuse a suicide fetish, for example (unsure if that’s a real thing). But there ARE disability fetishes and a fetish isn’t inherently bad as long as there are informed consenting parties and you are practicing RACK.

I don’t know if that line of thinking is even worth arguing because it could only serve to slip the other way up the slope back to overt purity culture. I want to validate your thoughts and questions because its important to critically analyze things and i want to believe you are coming from a place of good faith (and I have it in me to try and discuss this).

Regarding the statement of “death feedists think more critically about the fetish” could be true, as realizing you’re a death feedist DOES require reflection and understanding of yourself and of fatphobia in general. I haven’t had at length discussions with folks about this but the death feedists on my dash that post about fat lib seem to know their shit.

At the end of the day, why death feedists enjoy that aspect of the fetish is not for me to debate with or without them present. It’s not for me to tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies. That aspect of the fetish isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to tell others what they should get off to. I also think death feedists are a smaller portion of the community and it’s easy to block the tags they use if you don’t want to see their content. I know a few death feedists and I like them (at least their online persona) and they are probably more equipped to discuss this if they want to. So please feel free to add some comments if you’d like, death feedist friends.

My advice is practice radical acceptance. It feels uncomfortable but I think ultimately it makes you a better person when dealing with things you think are weird or gross or bad.

[madlori]

If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

[skaldish]

I'm about to give you all the single most powerful piece of advice that was ever told to me:

It is important to be a principled person.

This is more important than being a good person. But don't take this to mean I think we should be bad people.

The reason why "being principled" has more weight than "being good" is because the definition of "good" is arbitrary. It changes depending on who you ask, which means the standards of achieving goodness are always going to change and pose contradictions.

Principles are different. They are more actionable and concrete. Principles are ideas and concepts you personally value, in that you find them valuable to your lived experience. This makes them different than something like a commandment, because they're not a doctrine. Their source is your personality—who you are and the experiences that have shaped you—rather than your goals and ambitions alone.

To give an example, here are a few of my own principles:

I value self-sovereignty. I think it's a person's inherent right to be free of undue influence, and to act as agents of their own free will. (Not to be confused with acting with impunity; people have the right to experience the consequences of their own actions the same way they have the right to act upon their own free will.)

I value people. I show people courtesy as a baseline, even during arguments, until it becomes clear the other person simply wishes to engage in the spirit of hostility. And even then I don't really lash out—I just leave. At no point do I lose sight of the fact that the people I'm interacting with are as real as I am, who have feelings and complex lives the same as I do. This means I also really value trying to understand where people are coming from, and to look at things from their perspective, even if I don't agree with it.

I value being accurate, as opposed to being right. This has been a more rewarding approach for me, by comparison.

I value discernment. I want to know what things are, which means differentiating them from what I think they are from what they seem to be, and from what they are not. The reason why I practice discernment is due how I think—my brain understands things based on how they are, rather than based on what they are—but the reason why I value discernment is because it allows me to interact with the world in a much deeper way.

I value being a mammal. Life becomes easier when I (to quote another Tumblr post) let the mammal that is my body love what it loves. Fighting against this in the past proved to be a pointless and joyless endeavor.

I have more, but these are just the things that come to me off the top of my head. And keep in mind, these will likely change as I change as a person, because that is how principles work.

To be honest, I've never put much thought into whether other people should have the same principles as me; people have different personalities and lived experiences than I do, so it makes sense to me that we would all prioritize different things.

But what I do know is that I fundamentally disagree with people whose principles are antithetical to my own, principles like conquest (of self or other), conformity, purity, and controlling others. Whether or not someone realizes they're embodying these principles is another story, but in any case it's how I know who to avoid engaging with. This is regardless of someone's political alignment or identity.

In my opinion, thinking this way makes it easier to stay grounded in a rapidly-changing world, and to remain focused on what's actually important to you in the face of the unknown. It allows you to find stable ground within yourself.

[yanderefarm]

Honestly the idea of sacrificial lamb Nephite is sooo tasty to me, like either the elders secretly serving pretty little omegas or even the occasional alpha on a silver plater to their their wealthy donors, or even a more traditional village sacrifices virgin omegas to the big scary monster in the woods, its just so tasty, make that man a damsel

god both are so good... im always a big fan of like sacrificial bride tropes.

his whole life nephite has been raised to be a bridal candidate for this creature the cult worships and he's very happy to be a bride!! where most brides have been terrified and they had to be forced to go nephite is just so happy to be chosen to serve you. he's never actually heard all the horror stories about what you supposedly do to your brides and then as his "wedding day" approaches he gets more and more nervous. he gets anxious about leaving his family, he gets anxious about if you'll like him, he gets anxious about why none of the other brides came back to the village. but he's not allowed to back out even as he squirms and struggles against his bonds he's forced to actually go through with the sacrifice.

and you're scary. you're used to worthless brides who just scream and cry and fight until they get too annoying and you kill them or break their minds. nephite is scared too but he doesn't cry or scream he just hides nervously. it takes him a few days to warm up to you and then he becomes such a good wife. he's the perfect wife.

alternatively the idea of like masquerade parties where high paying donors are allowed to sample and bid on some of the high quality omegas the cult is raising to be well behaved and easy to mold. you meet nephite there and he's the big prize the most expensive omega there you're not even allowed to sample him because it's important he keeps all his purity in check. you end up spending a lot of money to get him home with you but he's so worth it. he's trying not to cry the whole time you take him home he wants to be a good bride!! he knows what happens to bad brides, he knows they get hurt or go missing. but he's so scared! he's so scared when you tell him to get undressed he starts sobbing and you have to gently reassure him you're not going to hurt him he just needs to be cleaned up for bed time.

[meelkiewee]

Hello!

As a first post i wanted to share my favourite bubbies and since tumblr seems more text oriented than the other socials I have, I'd like to explain what was going on in my head while doing their character redesigns~ [BOOKS SPOILERS MENTIONED]

INTRODUCTION

These character designs were made back in winter 2022 for a sort of animation thesis. Many things didn't go according to plan in that school year so for lack of time and motivation I've never really finished the animatic but I will include a wip at the end of this post. The animatic was about my interpretation of their story, finding a person to call home while in a crude and terrible world.

XIE LIAN

Xie Lian is the first of the two I made, his character design was very clear in my mind since the start. It's not largely distant from your official usual XL but I thought it already fitted very well.

The three main colors for XL are white, black and golden yellow. The prevalence of black and white colors was inspired by two main factors:

I personally see XL as a heavily dichotomy based character, not only in the association to the White Clothed Calamity but also in the way he's described as pretty as a flower but skillful with the sword, following a chaste path but mingling with a ghost king, all kind smiles to others but struggling with his own hope, etcetera, etcetera. He is in a constant struggle to find a third option that is better than simply bad or good, mostly in his early God's days, and also later on with ‘not knowing whether to laugh or cry’. So in here, black and white represent the reality of human nature, where you have bad and good qualities alike, a concept I think XL struggled with a lot since he was brought up as the perfect and pure prince that can do no wrong.

According to my research of the meaning behind colors in the chinese culture I discovered black and white can symbolize many things, some of which I found quite fitting for where I wanted to go with my character design. Black can stand for sadness and bad luck. White represents brightness, purity and innocence. In some instances, however, white is also associated with death and is a color commonly worn at funerals. Moreover in my own culture black and white, along with deep blue, are very elegant colors to wear. Simple and elegant is what my XL wants to look like.

Another important part of my XL character design is his bamboo hat.

Following some good old christian imagery I used his hat as an halo. Most of the time I even ignored perspective to make sure his head is always framed in this golden saintly circle In my animatic storyline specifically it represents XL perfection. Soon the hat is lost in the mud and brought back later on by HC with a new meaning of finding yourself in a safe environment with safe people. 

For most of the other design choices I took decisions based on pure aesthetics such as giving him a very elegant mole under the eye, very long and lucious hair and a very very long hanfu with some very very long sleeves. Yes, I wanted him to be very very everything because I very very love him!

Here are some other very very outfits i drew him in for fun and didn’t need for the animatic:

_____________________________________

HUA CHENG

As a premise to my HC character design I want to say I am very amused at people’s different reactions to it. They are usually neatly split in two: either they hate it with a passion or just fall head over heels in love with it, no in between. I personally am in the ‘love it’ side (duh of course I am, I designed it lol) but I also understand if your first thought is “WHO TF IS THAT?”, so let me explain my thought process here.

Firstly, hot take: official HC character is made to be your perfect cool-hot-mysterious-boyfriend™ that has it more together than you do and we don’t like that in this household, at least not always. Yes he is XL’s most devoted believer, yes he is a very powerful supreme, yes he’s always there for his Gege but in the end he’s also a very traumatized person that has had a crush for a guy for 800+ years.

What I’m saying is I wanted him to be a little more relatable and goofy than what books show us so I integrated some of his personality hidden away in E’Ming. From here I got the puffy messy hair, the big round eye and the doubtful expression.

Next up let’s talk about the palette. He also has, like XL, three main colors:

Blue. Mostly of the time he spends around XL he does it in his true form, wich is the form of a dead person (even dead more than once;;). This is pretty self explanatory, when someone dies the hue of their skin goes to blue and also ghosts in general are frequently represented pale blue or white in color. As a little side note to this, I really enjoyed the blue demons HuaLian episode in donghua S2, it made me feel less alone in my smurf choice lol.

Red. This is canonically HC’s color and rightfully so! Red is widely recognized as China's color of good fortune, and in my culture, it is frequently used as a symbol of passion and the color of blood. There is really nothing better than red for Mr. Crimson Rain!

Lilac. Although I'm not sure about my research on this color in Chinese culture, I've read that it modernly represents love or romance. However, growing up in my hometown, purple (and all its shades) was always associated with ugliness and was thought to be a bad omen if worn. Whoever had the nerve to wear it was regarded as a distasteful and ominous weirdo. I think it fitted perfectly with how every other Heaven Official other than XL sees HC; someone who makes blood rain for fun and a potential and actual threat to the Heavenly Court.

As for XL, other choices I made serve a mostly aesthetic purpose. HC’s boxy build, pointy ears and the opened robe to see tiddies(🤩) are some of the notable ones.

HC would not be complete without E’Ming, obviously. After comparing some different blades and trying to integrate a butterfly in the design, I opted for keeping it simple and I ended up with this wobbly shaped hilt made to resemble HC’s bang. The fact that now E’Ming looks like it has a big nose is just an added charm honestly.

CONCLUSION

Thanks for reading until this point I hope you enjoyed my yap and make sure to have a nice day/night! <33

I'll leave the link to my animatic wip here, please note once again that it is not finished in the slightes and there are also some funky expressions that don't really fit the mood lol enjoyyy!

-Sole