#because you can’t write a story if you aren’t willing to commit to your characters doing whatever it is to make the story go

[vacantgodling]

on that post cy made in regards to problematic characters… tbh i don’t think i make problematic characters. not because they don’t do bad things but just the words “problematic” and “characters” do not exist in my mind or vocabulary in conjunction**. i have multifaceted fucks that make a variety of decisions that make sense for their arc and their story. they are also fictional people. yes they can kill people and be manipulative idc they’re not real lmao

[pedroscurls]

Dirty Little Secret (Part 5).

Character(s): no-outbreak, age-gap!Joel Miller x fem!Reader Summary: You and Joel finally have a serious conversation during Drew and Sarah’s rehearsal dinner.  Word count: 3.1k  A/N: You know, this story was supposed to just be purely smut (minimal plot), but I've fallen in love with this pairing so much and have enjoyed writing Joel's POV. We're in for an emotional ride with this one, so enjoy! Warning: age-gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early-30s), sneaking around, things get emotional!!! SERIES MASTERLIST - ultimate masterlist

“Rehearsal dinner is tonight,” Joel says quietly, lips pressed lightly against the back of your bare shoulder. He’s been spending more and more time here with you, in your apartment. It’s starting to become a bit domesticated because he comes by once he’s finished with work, you cook dinner (sometimes even together), and then you spend the rest of the night in each other’s arms, falling asleep and waking up the next morning by each other’s side. 

The fear that lingered in the back of your mind begins to take a more prominent role the more time he spends with you. You aren’t sure if this is something you want, but you can’t deny the fact that there is something that you can’t explain when it comes to Joel. He makes you feel safe, makes you feel seen and heard, and it’s something that you never experienced from a partner. Partner? Lover? You’re not quite sure what to call him, what to label your relationship with him as, but a part of you can’t ignore the pull and tug you feel in your heart whenever he’s near. 

“I know Sarah and Drew are both ready to just get this whole thing over with and be married already,” you respond, turning on your back and looking over in his direction. His hair has gotten a bit longer, still messy, curling at the nape of his neck and at his ears. It’s something that you’re beginning to like more and more, especially when you get to run your fingers through it. Joel’s staring at you with a look in his eyes that you haven’t seen before. He’s looking at you with pure admiration and it makes you blush. 

No one’s ever looked at you the way Joel is doing right now.

“Oh, I reckon it’s a lot of work,” Joel chuckles. “All these parties… M’surprised Drew’s keeping up with it.” 

“Well, he likes to keep your girl happy,” you smile. “Drew loves Sarah so much. He’d do anything for her.” 

Joel smiles. “They’re a good fit. Tried to intimidate him the first time I met him, but when I saw the way he was looking at my babygirl, I knew it was serious. I knew that she’d be in good hands.” 

“It must be nice to be loved like that,” you blurt out. You’re not sure why you said it, but you can’t help but feel a pang of envy to be loved the way Drew and Sarah love each other. They walk into a room and you can just feel the love they share, the way they look at each other seems like they just fall in love all over again… It’s a love that you’ve heard countless stories of, seen movies about, but never got to experience yourself. You try to tell yourself that it’s not something you want - commitment - but you would be lying if you said you never thought about it. 

And you’d certainly be lying if you said you never thought about it with Joel. 

Joel looks at you and his smile falters. He feels his heart break just a tiny bit at your admission. He wants to say that the feelings he has for you are so serious that he’s finding himself falling for you. He wants to tell you that you’re so deserving of all the love and that he’s the one willing to give it. He wants to tell you that since you came into his life, it’s changed for the better. 

But he doesn’t. 

Instead, he just reaches up to cup your cheek and places a light kiss on your lips. 

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right guy, darlin’,” he finally says. 

You look at him and bite the inside of your cheek. He’s no longer looking at you with admiration and you can see the walls he’s building around himself because now he looks closed off. It hurts to know that the one person you might be falling in love with isn’t someone that you’re meant to be with. 

“Maybe,” you force a smile and sit up from bed. You turn your back to him and bite your lower lip, dressed only in his t-shirt and a pair of panties. You stand up from bed and glance over your shoulder at him and you swear that you could see his brows furrow in confusion, his lips in a small pout, but the wedding is near, which also means the end of your relationship with Joel is just right around the corner. “I’m gonna shower.”

“Need company?” Joel asks.

You shake your head. Maybe it’s best to start pulling away, put some distance between the both of you. “As much as I’d love that, I have a few things planned today.” 

“Oh,” Joel replies. “Should I get goin’ then?” 

You nod. “Yeah, think that’s best.” 

Joel bites his lower lip and stands from bed. He pulls on his jeans and takes note of the shirt that you’re wearing. He doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t like that the energy has shifted, but he knows that this is for the best. He knows you’re pulling away and as much as it hurts him, he knows this is the only way this is going to go. 

“Keep the shirt,” Joel says. “I’ve got a sweater in the truck.” 

“You sure?” 

Joel nods. He walks over to you and places a soft kiss on your forehead and wraps his arms around you. He feels you lean into him, tighten your arms around him, and let out a quiet, but shaky sigh. He wants to tell you that he’s falling so hard for you, but he has to remind himself that you deserve someone better than him. 

“See you tonight, baby.” Joel says, pulling away from you to look down into your eyes. 

You nod, not meeting his eyes or holding eye contact like you usually would. You kiss his cheek and turn on your heel to walk to the bathroom. When Joel sees the door shut, he lets out a sigh and begins to leave once he hears the water run. He feels his heart breaking a little bit when he leaves your apartment because part of him already knows that this is the beginning of the end. 

Joel had tried to prepare himself, but he didn’t expect the sudden rush of emotions and feelings that came with it. That came with you. 

He doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to let you go, but he’s heard from Sarah and Drew that settling down and commitment isn’t something that ever interests you. Joel remembers the way you had told him how rough your childhood was and how Drew and his family had kept you afloat. He remembers the way his heart tugs and how he had wrapped his arms around you, silently telling you that you deserved the world. 

—

Tommy is leaning against the kitchen counter, dressed in black slacks and a black cable knit polo shirt that hugs his frame. His hair is pulled back into a small bun as he runs his hand over his short beard. Joel’s descending the stairs dressed in a black pants and a dark green button-down shirt with his sleeves folded to his elbows. His hair is neat, slicked back, and his beard is trimmed and clean-cut. 

Tommy notices the way his older brother continues to check his phone and he has to wonder if it’s because he’s texting to Sarah, but something in the way his jaw ticks tells Tommy it’s something - someone - else. 

“Y’okay?” Tommy asks, pulling Joel from his thoughts.

“M’fine. Ya ready to go?” 

“Ready whenever you are.” 

Joel nods, pockets his phone and grabs his keys. The wedding rehearsal is to be held at the wedding venue followed by a rehearsal dinner. All he can think about on the ride to the outdoor venue, though, is you. He didn’t like the way he left your apartment - it wasn’t even a proper goodbye. You had left him standing in the middle of your bedroom while you walked away to your bathroom. Since coming home, Joel begins to imagine what life would be like if he continued this, if he decides to give this a chance. He knows he’d be happy with you, but he also knows that if this were to become something more, he’d have to talk with Sarah. With Drew.

“D’ya hear me?” Tommy asks, snapping his fingers in Joel’s direction.

“Sorry. What?” 

“Where’s ya mind at? You’re lookin’ like–” 

“M’fine,” Joel repeats. “Just a lot of mingling and all’a that.” 

Tommy narrows his eyes. Technically, it isn’t a lie, but Tommy knows that Joel’s hiding something. He’s just not sure what. “Okay, well, at least we’ll have alcohol at dinner.” 

“Just gotta get through rehearsal first.” 

“‘Course,” Tommy says. He then spots you climbing out of your car and quickly lets his eyes take you in. You’re a dream, absolutely gorgeous, and a kind heart to go with it. But Tommy remembers the first time he met you and how Joel’s eyes never left you. 

Just like it was now. 

Joel pulls into a parking spot and turns off the truck. He watches you flatten the wrinkles of your dress and he can’t help but bite his lower lip at the sight of you. You’re wearing a light blue dress that reaches past your knees, stopping just at your shin with a trumpet hem. The straps of your dress are neatly tied atop your shoulders and your hair is tucked behind your ears, cascading down the middle of your back. 

Then, Joel meets your eye. He sees you give him a curt nod with a soft smile before you disappear inside. He lets out a sigh and unbuckles his seatbelt, climbing out of the truck and running a hand through his hair. It’s Tommy that pulls him from his thoughts again.

“Okay, so what’s goin’ on?”

“Nothin’.” 

“You’ve always been a bad liar, y’know that?” Tommy chuckles. “Have you two–”

“No,” Joel interrupts. “Now, leave it, Tommy.” 

“Okay, okay,” Tommy shrugs. “No need to get all bent out of shape. I was just–”

“It’s nothin’,” Joel repeats. “Let’s head inside.” 

It’s a small group of people, only the ones involved in the wedding itself are here for rehearsal. Drew’s already standing at the end of the aisle, dressed in navy blue slacks and a white button-down shirt. It’s semi-formal, but Joel can see how anxious the young man is getting. It’s only rehearsal, but Joel notices how Drew keeps looking down towards the end of the aisle, almost like he’s waiting for Sarah to appear. 

The wedding planner speaks with Joel and Tommy, instructing them of where to stand, who will be coming out in order, and as she continues to speak, Joel sees you at the corner of his eye. You’re by yourself, the wind blowing in your direction with the sun shining down on you and Joel feels his heart tug at the sight of you. He wants to come up behind you, wrap his arms around you, and tell you how beautiful you look, how happy that you’re his. 

But he doesn’t. He can’t. 

In the next thirty minutes, you and the rest of the bridal party and groomsmen get ready to walk down the aisle. You’re walking alone, being Drew’s best woman means you’re standing next to him. So the music begins and the wedding planner signals for you to begin walking. You try to focus, try to just get through today, but all you can think about is Joel. 

You actually love him and it scares you because you were sure that love wasn’t something you were ever going to get to experience. It was something that you had come to terms with early on in your childhood. It was something that you decided when your parents divorced that relationships - and men - wasn’t worth the trouble if it meant having your heart broken. 

But Joel…

Joel’s different. 

And you don’t know what to make of it, what to think, or even how to move forward. This wasn’t meant to be something more than just a fling. This wasn’t meant to be something more than just a fuck buddy. 

You weren’t meant to fall in love. 

As you get closer to Drew, you give him a wink and stand next to him. He reaches for your hand and you squeeze it reassuringly. The rest of the groomsmen and bridal party walk in pairs until it’s time for the bride - for Sarah - to walk down. 

And you know that you’re going to see Joel. 

And you try hard to keep your expression neutral. 

But when you see him and Sarah begin to walk in your direction, where everyone was already standing, you feel your heart tug towards him, almost like it’s yearning for him. Sarah’s arm is hooked around his and Joel holds onto her tightly, leaning over to give her a gentle kiss on her temple. 

Then, he sees you. His eyes soften. The corner of his lips lift slightly. To anyone, it would seem like an innocent gesture, a polite hello, but to you, he’s looking at you like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He’s looking at you like he always does. 

Joel hands Sarah off to Drew and he spares one more glance in your direction before he steps away to take his seat in the front. He’s glad that this is about Sarah, about Drew, because it distracts him enough that he doesn’t look in your direction until rehearsal is over. Everyone then begins to congregate inside for dinner and Joel sees you trail behind, opting to stay outside to watch the sunset. 

Joel bites his lower lip, steps inside to grab a beer for himself and a glass of wine for you before he meets you outside. Gently, he nudges you with his shoulder and you stare up at him with a look of surprise. 

“Hey,” Joel says, holding out the glass of wine in your direction. 

“Thank you,” you respond, taking the glass from him and your fingers brush against his. You hear him let out a breath before he turns his attention to the sunset. 

“Y’okay?” Joel asks. 

“Just thinking.” 

“Care to share?” 

You shrug. “Not sure there’s anything to share.” 

Joel sighs and steps closer to you. He needs to feel you, needs to know that you’re okay, that this is okay. His arm brushes against yours and Joel lets out a sigh of relief when he feels you lean against him. 

“Wedding’s in a few days.” You say. 

“It is,” Joel replies. 

“What happens then?” 

“D’ya mean…” Joel trails off, pointing between the both of you.

“Yes.” 

“What do you want to happen?” Joel asks. He can’t help but look down at you. You’re not even looking at him and despite the close proximity with you, you’ve never felt further away from him than you do now. 

“This wasn’t meant to be serious,” you whisper. “We were supposed to just have fun, keep each other company.” 

“I know,” Joel responds. 

“We got distracted. We never set any rules.” 

“Should we have?” 

“Yes,” you sigh. Joel notices the way your voice cracks and he could see tears building at the corner of your eyes. 

“Baby–”

“After the wedding, it’s done. This– We can’t.” 

Joel tightens his jaw, feels his heart break. He knows you’re not telling the truth, he can see that you’re holding back and so, he turns you around to face him. He can hear the laughter and chatter from inside the dinner, but that’s the least of his worries. 

“Why not?” 

“Joel,” you shake your head. Still, you’re not meeting his eyes because you’re sure that if you look up at him, you’d tell him everything. At least right now, you have a bit of courage to hold back, to pull away from him, even if it’s breaking your heart. “I don’t– Relationships aren’t for me.”

“How d’ya know?” Joel sighs. 

“I just do.”

“How?” He presses. 

“I can’t–” you feel your breath catch in your throat. “Joel…”

“Tell me,” he whispers quietly. “Tell me again that this is done and I’ll leave you alone.” 

“It’s done,” you reply weakly.

“No, look me in the eye and tell me.”

“Joel…” Your lower lip juts out, quivering slightly as a tear slips. Joel instinctively reaches out to wipe your tear away, his body closer to you now. He knows anyone can just walk in on the both of you, but he doesn’t care. He needs to hear you say it, needs to see you look him in the eye and tell him to leave you alone. Only then can Joel let you go. 

“Look me in my eyes and tell me this ain’t somethin’ you want.” 

“I can’t.” You shake your head, lean into his touch, and you feel your resolve lose quickly. You always thought that commitment wasn’t something you ever wanted; it stemmed from your parents’ failed marriage followed by plenty of toxic relationships your mother got herself into, which you followed her footsteps in. 

But Joel… 

Joel gives you hope. 

He makes you feel safe. 

He makes you feel loved. 

“Look me in the eye and–”

“I’ve fallen in love with you!” You blurt out, finally looking up at him and into his dark brown eyes. “Is that what you want to hear? How this fling turned into something so much more to me? How whenever I’m with you, I’m the safest I’ve ever felt? How you look at me and everything just seems to be okay? How being in your arms just–” your breath catches. 

“Baby–”

“Just,” you sigh, wiping your tears away. “Give me some space, please.” 

“Darlin’,” Joel pleads. “Just let me–”

“I need some space, Joel.” 

He doesn’t press any further and lets you go inside. Joel feels hopeful now that he knows how you feel, but there's something inside of him that scares him. He doesn’t want to let you down, doesn’t ever want to disappoint you, and he still believes that you deserve someone better than him, but Joel doesn’t want to let you go. 

He doesn’t want you to be with anyone else. 

“At least tell me you love her too,” someone says, pulling Joel from his thoughts. 

Eyes wide, Joel turns his head and sees Drew standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Drew, it isn’t–”

“Do you love her, Joel?” Drew interrupts. Joel can see the protectiveness in his features, can see it in the way he stands, but still, Drew is showing respect. 

“Drew, I–” 

“She deserves the world,” Drew sighs. “So, tell me… Do you love her?

—

taglist: @she-could-never | @joeldjarin | @janaispunk | @jessie8605 | @untamedheart81 | @paleidiot | @vickie5446 | @casa-boiardi

—

prev. - next.

[yanderealm]

okokokokkk i'm requesting! can you make ( yandere alphabet ) A, B, C, F, N and X for blade please? i know this is too much but-- i'm crushing on the yandere characters you write, lyra!

PAIRING : yandere! blade x fem! reader

TW : lots of YANDERE tendencies!, blood, violence, overlove, overjealousy, manipulation, kidnapping, psychological manipulation, isolation, gaslighting, ghosting, unhealthy actions, unhealthy relationship, blade smothering the reader, reader being dumb.

NOTE : ohhhhh, it's totally fine and i'm so happy that you requested me anon! :)) and ugh- please just write your request only in one ask not like this... and this is my last fem reader because i am not good at writing i mean specifyimg the reader’s gender exclusively, especially in smuts, so i decided to write for gn readers only, gotcha?

and i’m sorry for being ( really ) late and writing too short! i newly recovered from my depression.

i wish i could write better. and posting more of my writings but my time is very limited-

SENSITIVES, BLANK BLOGS & MINORS DNI !

Affection ( how do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? ) :

he would show his love in every way; pampering you with gifts, feeding you by his hands that he cooked them all for you, giving you kisses/hugs/compliments everyday if you behave well and… locking you up in your room and not allowing you to go out, telling you most terrifying scenarios what would happen if you didn’t accept to be his lover,

Blood ( how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling ) :

oh, come on. this stellaron hunter isn't afraid of having his hands bloody when it comes to his dear girl.

he has a potential of destroying a planet, even the whole universe for you, his dear darling.

because you’re his precious beloved, just enjoy him going crazy over you <3 .

let me tell you a story. one day, you were just hanging around with him

Cruelty ( how would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them ) :

he would use some drugs on you to calm you after kidnapping you first, but these drugs are too heavy for you so you probably would feel hazy for a week or more.

he would use every type of manipulation on you to make you all his. to make you not wake up in an utopical dream that waking up would result with a dystopia.

you would live in a big and cozy house but you aren’t allowed to go out, you have a terrace and balconies to have some oxygen, right?

Fight ( how would they feel if their darling fought back? ) :

he would simply block your attacks and ignore your help cries because he’s a patient type who can wait for you to shut up.

but if you push his buttons, he would not hold himself from manhandling you to shut up.

Naughty ( how would they punish their darling? )

he would treat you like a witch in middle ages. he’s a priest and you’re an innocent woman who have committed a witchcraft, aka blasphemy, but the priest won’t punish her lawfully. he’ll only make her don’t do it again. isn’t that simple to say?

but the process will never be easy on you no matter what the conditions are.

he’ll give you less food, less attention filled with more isolation and more cruelty.

Xoanon ( how much would they revere or worship their darling? to what length would they go to win their darling over? ) :

bro, i can’t say something specific to say that he would obviously worship you ( i swear it’s the only thing what i don’t understand lmao ).

but i can say he has two sides:

one; he would treat you like you’re worthless slave.

two; he would treat you like you’re his very dear darling and he would destroy the whole universe for you ( i accept him as a green flag ZORT )

( masterlist )

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

First of all, this is about an active refusal by some people to acknowledge that solas has done some really bad things, in favour of pretending he’s a good person who just made some “mistakes” (genocide), and the way that effects their ability to engage with a plot that is about the character as written, and their subsequent insistence that it must be bad writing because it doesn’t work with the version of Solas that never existed in the story. I am not, as you are saying on your blog, saying everyone else is incapable of understanding. Not only have most people got this, I’m sure those who haven’t are completely capable of doing so, if they were willing to admit that Solas isn’t a good person and was never intended to be.

This post is also directed at the people who are so insistent in their belief that this is a terrible game and Solas is a wonderful person who’s done nothing wrong except a “few mistakes” that they come into my ask box and notes calling me homophobic slurs and sending me sexually graphic hate mail for seeing solas through the lens of not being a good person (he has committed genocide) and thinking the game is well written.

If you aren’t part of one of those groups, the post isn’t directed at you.

Onto Solas, I have a couple of points. First, human morality is the only lens we can interpret this through, because spirits don’t exist. This game was written by humans and for humans, and Solas is a constructed character, not a guy who actually exists and is beholden to a spirit nature. This means that being the embodiment of egotistical pride doesn’t absolve him of his actions stemming from pride, they make him a metaphor for being consumed by egotistical pride and how that’s not great. He is not an actual guy who actually can’t help himself, he’s a character who serves a purpose.

As for him being a mirror, I don’t think it’s to the extent that his nature fundamentally changes. Regardless of how nice you are to him in either game he still: sundered the titans, murdered Felassan, was directly involved in murdering everyone at the conclave, is racist to dwarves and qunari (to dwarves for the effects of HIS crime against them), planned to kill literally everyone who currently exists, blocked Briala from her efforts to improve the lives of elves in orlais, killed a BUNCH of people in his preparations for killing everyone else, murdered Varric, used blood magic on rook to gaslight them into thinking he was still alive, trapped rook in a fade prison for the crime of literally just being in his way, and tried to manipulate rook into being complicit in his second genocide by misleading them about the veil.

All of these things are bad and they all happen regardless of your attitude or actions towards him. In fact, the only two things about him you can actually change through your actions are:

1) If you have high enough approval in inquisition he starts to realise that actually the people of thedas might be real people who’s lives have value, but that doesn’t even stop him planning to murder you all and destroy the world, and it makes his choice to isolate himself for the next decade while he continues his plans seem, if anything, more insidious because now he knows it is wrong.

2) If you get the essence of Mythal and choose to convince him he’s wrong after the final battle, he will realise that he is wrong. But that doesn’t make him not wrong throughout the rest of the games, it’s literally an admission that he was.

If he mirrors your demeanour to him it’s very surface level. You exchange niceties, and he’ll be polite as he plans the mass murder of all of your people and manipulates your mind with blood magic to make you hallucinate your friend that he murdered still being alive. He is still the embodiment of egotistical pride, regardless of how you act towards him, and he still behaves accordingly.

His overall actions do not change, and these actions are not ones that can be separated from the person doing them. It’s not that he’s had a bad day and he’s been a little rude but that doesn’t say anything about him really, he’s committed genocide. He’s committed multiple murders in addition to that. He’s planning another genocide. That makes him a person who is willing to do that. You cannot hand wave away crimes of this magnitude.

I also quite strongly believe that when someone has committed crimes of that magnitude, and has treated people with that amount of disdain and dehumanisation (I know they’re not all human because fantasy setting, but you get what I mean), people are under no obligation to be nice to them. If you want to be nice, fine. But this is a guy who, regardless of how you as a player treat him, has committed multiple atrocities, used every chance he is given to commit more, and denies personhood to those who don’t meet his personal definition and then treats those people like their lives have less value. I don’t care if being rude to him makes him rude back. People should not feel obligated to bend over backwards to pander to and be nice to a person who thinks their lives are less valuable than a minor convenience for his own people and therefore murdering them all for it is justified. And they certainly shouldn’t when the reason is “he’s a little bit less of a dick if you’re nice to him. No he doesn’t stop trying to destroy the world and kill everyone in it, but he’s a little less rude about it”. His surface level demeanour doesn’t change my opinion on the atrocities he’s committed and is planning to commit.

Solas is not a mirror in the sense that he’ll act to you as you act towards him, because no matter how nice you are to him he is still actively gaslighting you by using blood magic to alter your senses, planning to imprison you, and planning to kill you and all of your people. Which even at your absolute meanest to him you can get, you are not even approaching. The characters in this game are all reflected against each other, but to compare and contrast, not because Solas fundamentally changes based on your approach.

You mentioned coercion vs free will in your tags and I think that brings us nicely back to the point I was making in my post. Because Cyrian is being coerced by Anaris, but that doesn’t change the fact that if he goes through with Anaris’ plans, that is a horrific crime he will be responsible for. Coercion doesn’t absolve you of responsibility, and on crimes of this scale if you decide to help them you are complicit, even if being coerced.

That’s partly what this post was pointing out, that every debate you could have about Solas is played out at some other point of the game. Cyrian ultimately does not help Anaris, he chooses to stop him. Solas could have chosen this too. He didn’t, and chose of his own free will to sunder the titans, and is therefore responsible for it. Following orders does not mean you aren’t responsible for your own actions.

These themes run deeply through the game, and what this post is about is that if you refuse to acknowledge that Solas has done wrong and try to force the game through the lens of Solas being a misunderstood pookie who’s done no wrong (again, if this is not your opinion of Solas then this post isn’t directed at you. Because it’s directed at the people who are like that) then no, none of these themes will make sense and none of the game will make sense, but that’s on the person actively refusing to acknowledge that Solas has done wrong, it’s not the game not making sense.

I think a huge factor in people not being able to understand this game is that the game as a whole relies on understanding Solas’ character as written, and people are refusing to understand it

Solas is, and has been since his first appearance, an egotistical, hubristic, racist, manipulative, abusive and condescending asshole who regularly commits atrocities and pretends that being sad about them is enough penance. He is a terrible person who insists he’s actually the hero of the story. He is a liar and a manipulator, and he lies to himself as well. He uses other people like chess pieces and sacrifices them for his cause without much of a thought, and without them even knowing they are being used.

This is who he is. This is who he was always written to be. And veilguard is almost entirely about deconstructing that. Every member of the veilguard is a foil to solas. They are all who he pretends he is, and his false hero fantasy falls apart when you put them next to him.

Every single companion storyline is about that character successfully doing something that Solas is incapable of, but would be capable of if he wasn’t such a terrible person. And they all face a dark reflection of themselves and come out the other side mostly unscathed by that, aware that this dark reflection is not them because they are not actually like that.

Solas faces many of the same challenges the companions do, and fails each and every one of them, because, unlike them, he is not actually a hero. He is not a good person. He does not learn to accept that just because something is broken doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of it worth saving. He does not learn to accept the harsh truths and move forward. He does not accept that he is responsible for his own actions, even if someone else orders them. He fails every time.

Solas faces not one but two dark reflections of himself, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, the prideful god who always thinks he’s right no matter the consequences, and the servant and lover of another god whose atrocities are not justified by having been pushed by their lover and mistress, but does not come out the other side unscathed because it turns out he IS actually like them. His reflections are accurate, they’re real parts of himself that he pretends don’t exist, not just twisted versions of their fears like they are for the companions. At the end of the game he even admits that yes, he is very similar to Elgar’nan.

Pretty much the entirety of veilguard is a very careful and deliberate deconstruction of Solas’ character and self image. We go through, in elaborate detail, all of his crimes, all of his mistakes, all of the reasons why he is wrong, why his actions are unjustifiable, why his regret doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, how he thinks it does anyway.

We completely tear down every single aspect of the image he has constructed for himself. We destroy every single excuse with clear examples showing that that was not how things had to go. Every justification. Every insistence it’s okay because he’s sorry. Every time he insists he knows best and we should leave him to it. Every single illusion that he is a good person is shattered. By the end of it there is absolutely nothing left, and his repeated attempts to keep up the facade come off as pathetic and ridiculous. In all his banters with companions he tries to use his usual tricks, pretty excuses, belittling comments, fake niceties and every time he’s completely shut down.

He tries to imply Davrin has a biased view of him from stories about the dread wolf, Davrin responds with evidence the truth is even worse. He tries to apologise to Harding, she comes back with a list of all the terrible things he’s done that an apology can’t cover. He tries to appeal to spite, spite points out he hurt Rook so why should he trust him. He comes up with excuses for killing Varric and Neve points out that there’s no pretty excuse for using blood magic on Rook in such a cruel way afterwards. The illusion is shattered. That’s what the entire game has been building up to. And it makes his last attempt at betrayal seem embarrassing, because we now see through the facade and know that he was too obsessed with himself to even consider we’d see it coming.

But the thing is a lot of people refuse to see this. This is where his characters been heading since the beginning. This is who he’s always been. But a lot of people ignore any and every negative thing about him, and then complain the game doesn’t make sense. Of course it doesn’t make sense. You’ve ignored every single theme, plot point, and piece of characterisation to make up a version of Solas in your head and that’s not the Solas the game is about. It makes complete sense when you see Solas as he truly is, as he was written to be. It’s such a good bit of writing when you actually let yourself experience it as it is and allow yourself to be open to the idea that the guy who is trying to commit his second genocide might be a bad person.

[ooops-i-arted]

Rant incoming bc I’m mad about this, again (specific BoBF details under a cut):

I KNEW FILONI WOULD FUCK UP THE JEDI + ATTACHMENTS AGAIN.  Filoni needs to be banned from writing Jedi and anything about attachments until he figures out what it actually means for the Jedi.  Jedi are allowed to have love and compassion and attachments and connections to their homeworld and families.  Jedi just aren’t allowed to let those things rule them, BECAUSE THEY HAVE SUPER POWERFUL MIND POWERS and need to maintain control of them so they don’t hurt people!!  Just because Anakin was a selfish twat who committed genocide doesn’t mean other Jedi can’t handle managing their attachments.

LOOK.  LOOK AT WHAT GEORGE LUCAS HIMSELF SAID, SINCE FILONI DOESN’T WANT TO:

“If attachment and love were the same thing, then he would be saying, “They should love their enemies, they should love the Sith.  But they can’t love.”  The way George makes the distinction shows that, no, attachment and love aren’t the same thing at all, attachment is not caring. Further, there’s another instance of him showing there’s an important distinction between relationships and attachment and the association of attachments with possession:  "Jedi Knights aren’t celibate - the thing that is forbidden is attachments - and possessive relationships.” –George Lucas, BBC News interview (via this post which is a whole great analysis of the Jedi)

We’ve already seen this in The Mandalorian.  Grogu acts out of love for Din multiple times in moments of great danger:  the mudhorn, the flametrooper.  But he always tries to attack Cara just over an arm wrestling match.  That’s why it’s so important for Jedi not to let attachments rule them - they have great power and with it comes great responsibility.

If you don’t agree with my interpretation of how the arm wrestling match went down, then look at Anakin.  In AOTC he’s willing to risk losing Dooku (which could’ve stopped the war at that time) just because Padme fell off the ship.  Obi-Wan brings him to his senses that time (pointing out that Padme would want him to leave her if she was there, to stop Dooku instead), but in the next movie he's committing genocide to save her (without any consideration for how Padme might feel about this, only considering his own feelings of "I can’t lose her”).  Hell, set aside all that and pretend Anakin is supposed to be a normal peacekeeper Jedi for a moment.  Do you think for a second he wouldn’t favor Naboo in a diplomatic situation just because he likes Padme?  It would interfere with his job as a peacekeeper and diplomat!  We follow characters like Anakin and Revan because they make good stories, and part of a good story is conflict (such as these characters conflicting with Jedi ways).  But overall the Jedi’s policy of “don’t get dangerously obsessed with people and use your mind powers to fuck up the galaxy as part of that” is there for a good reason and works.  It literally just boils down to “control your emotions, don’t let them control you.”

Also, Jedi are allowed connections to their homeworld/home culture.  Yarael Poof, Adi Gallia, Shaak Ti, Depa Billaba - all these characters wear items from their home cultures.  Barriss Offee and Luminara Unduli have traditional Mirialan tattoos.  Hell, Filoni, did you forgot YOUR OWN DAMN OC is wearing an akul-tooth headdress and Togruta sash?  (The headdress is also worn by Togruta who had slain an akul themselves, implying Ahsoka went back to Shili to complete a traditional custom from her homeworld.)  Hell, Ki-Adi-Mundi has a whole-ass family (in Legends, I think it’s been retconned) because of Cerean population issues, and he was a Council member able to balance his duties to being a Jedi and being a father (and never committed genocide for his family either, Anakin).  You can also get married as a Jedi in SWTOR if you play a Jedi Consular and romance Felix Iresso.  There’s noise about the Council monitoring what’s going on, but the Consular is a Jedi Council member and can still marry and no one throws a fit about it.

And now to get specific:

IT MAKES NO DAMN SENSE LUKE IS FORCING GROGU TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BEING A JEDI AND DIN AND IT’S DUMB FOR MULTIPLE REASONS

Grogu has been there what, a few months?  It’s too soon to make a real choice when he hasn’t truly experienced a Jedi lifestyle.

He is shown to be intelligent and aware of his decisions, but again, he’s still too young to truly be making a permanent choice like this.

“ThE jEdI kIdNaP bAbIeS” shut up they take children from parents who are willing to give them up.  This is clearly shown in TCW and was the same in Legends.  In The Jedi Apprentice series, Obi-Wan even mentions a memory of his visit to his family and seeing his brother Owen!  (Although this was apparently later retconned into being a vision of Owen Lars.  It still remains that Obi-Wan didn’t see anything odd about a visit home, implying it wasn’t something that didn’t happen.)  In the season 2 finale it was crystal clear Grogu was okay with going, he’s the one who urges Din to open the doors and let Luke in and Luke and Din both value and respect his choice.  No one hands Grogu off; he freely walks over to Luke and holds out his arms for him.

Why the fuck are you offering a little kid a lightsaber.  And that’s only the most major offense of “things that were developmentally inappropriate.”

See above about multiple Jedi, INCLUDING’S FILONI’S OWN DARLING, wearing items from their home culture.  There is absolutely no reason Grogu can’t wear Mandalorian armor while he trains as a Jedi.  (Doesn’t he still have the necklace anyway as far as we know?)

Side note but “Are you doing this for Grogu or are you doing this for you?” is a great thing to examine from Din’s side of things.  Shame we just got Ahsoka manipulating him since Filoni’s darling is always right and always the center of things when she appears, and no actual reflection on it from Din.  (Seriously though, FUCK HER for just having R2 drag Din aside to his own personal hell a glade full of droids instead of allowing Din or Grogu any agency in the situation.)

Another side note, does it occur to anyone it would hurt Grogu MORE to know Din came and CHOSE to not see him?

WHY IS LUKE OF ALL PEOPLE BUYING INTO THIS???  LUKE, WHO KNOWS MORE THAN ANYONE ABOUT LOVING YOUR FATHER.  LUKE, WHOSE LOVE FOR HIS SISTER AND HIS FRIENDS IS A KEY COMPONENT OF HIS CHARACTER AND HIS EMOTIONAL STRENGTH???  LUKE, WHO SHOULD TOTALLY EMPATHIZE WITH GROGU IN THIS SITUATION.  LUKE, INCREDIBLY KIND LUKE, WHO SHOULD HAVE AT BARE MINIMUM FACED DIN, EXPLAINED THE CONCERNS, AND THEN LET DIN AND GROGU MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE FREE OF PRESSURE INSTEAD OF THE SMUG ORANGE BITCH TELLING DIN WHAT HE SHOULD DO, JUST LIKE LUKE LET DIN AND GROGU MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE IN THE SEASON 2 FINALE.

Also this is just stupid from a writing position, Grogu already joined the Jedi as a kid (which we don’t know the full circumstances of) and chose the Jedi again by going with Luke, why are we rehashing this?  And if Grogu does go back, then what was even the point of the dramatic separation/season 2 finale?

Yoda’s lightsaber isn’t even the right size for Grogu right now and the chainmail is, how is this even a choice.  Luke don’t you want your first student protected anyway?

Jedi have always been able to leave the Order and it’s not a problem.  The Jedi Order even had busts of them in the library because they respected and honored their choice!!

It’s just another aspect of Luke trying to directly copy the old Jedi Order, which is incredibly boring when compared to Legends, where Luke made a New Jedi Order with its own strengths and flaws.  But because of his own experience, he chose to allow marriage and families and it was a new and interesting take - and it still boiled down to “we have super powers, so use them responsibly and control your emotions, don’t let you emotions control you.”

In conclusion, Filoni, when it comes to the Jedi:  just stop.

(Also, again, wasn’t this BOBA FETT’S show?)

[blindbeta]

hello, i found your account a while back when i was searching for ways to write a blind character and yours have been helpful! i just want to ask something, better safe than sorry: the mc in my story is blind yet goes on to commit murder, i was wondering if by any chance it might come across offensive??? like their blindness wont be the attraction or the focus, just that the character has gone through so much trauma that they're willing to kill ppl. they just happen to be blind. i just wanted to know that. sorry if this is too long. any other tips would also be helpful.

have a good day!

Blind Character Who Is Also a Killer

Don’t worry about the length of the ask, as it helps me to have more detail.

This question was challenging to answer. I initially focused more on the blindness aspect before adding more about trauma and mental health in general. I would appreciate additional thoughts readers would like to share. If the trauma bit is not useful to the asker, it may benefit other readers.

In my opinion, your blind character can commit murder without it necessarily being a problem. If you are careful. It is less about avoiding offensive ideas and more about being intentional with the choices you make as a writer. Here are some things to look out for:

-committing murder out of jealousy or anger at sighted characters for being able to see

-targeting other blind or otherwise disabled characters

-the motive for the murder having anything to do with blindness or regaining vision

-the murderer causing eye trauma to the victim, removing eyes, etc

It would also be helpful to have more blind characters who aren’t murderers or violent. Additionally, it may help to consider if your character is a villain or an anti-hero. Having blind heroes, or at least people the audience should root for, also avoids any ideas that blindness is inherently bad in some way. In this case, the message behind the story is very important. What happens to your blind characters will be tracked by disabled audiences.

When it comes to having multiple blind characters, I suggest being more intentional with how much vision each character has. If the killer MC is totally blind, make sure to have another totally blind character who isn’t a killer. This helps avoid the implication that having less vision equates to less morality.

I think we need a variety of blind characters and so I am fine with characters like the one you are describing, provided they are not the only blind character in the story.

Because trauma was mentioned in the question, I wanted to suggest reading more about trauma’s influence on survivors if you haven’t already. People who have suffered trauma are often portrayed negatively and given little understanding. It is important to research mental health issues as much as possible as well as understand tropes surrounding trauma. Without making this answer too long, my suggestion is start with free videos, podcasts, and articles by survivors, mental health professionals, and those who are both. While this question was sent to a blog about blindness to get input on a specific topic, the focus should be more on the mental health aspect and why trauma is a focus for this particular character. I would emphasize handling this topic with care if you are not already familiar with it. Trauma, especially in relation to murder, deserves a post all its own. Looking up tropes about mental illness online might also be useful if you have not already done so. Consider why the character having trauma and killing because of it makes sense to you. I don’t know your story nor do I have much information here, so I can’t give you more advice than that. This is for you to think about as a writer, just as you might examine the blindness tropes I discuss on this blog.

Disability can lead to or be caused by trauma, so be careful with that in relation to your character. Blind people in particular have higher rates of mental illness for a variety of reasons.

I can’t really say if anything about a blind character committing murder would be offensive or not without reading the actual material, and even then it would only be my opinion. However, keeping some of my suggestions in mind could make this easier to write because you have things to consider. My concern is more with the mental health side of the question, especially as it relates to blindness and murder. These factors are a lot for a writer to consider at once.

Hopefully this is a good starting point.

An addition to this post by @ask-jeff-and-the-lads reads:

I will say that "so much trauma that they're willing to kill people" gave me pause, as though, like, that's a logical sequence of events 😒

This has been cross-posted on WordPress.

[artbyblastweave]

BLASTWEAVE what does steven universe have in common with watchmen?

Both Steven Universe and Watchmen are groundbreaking entries in their respective genres that demonstrate a deep understanding of the appeal of the genre they’re working in, and engage with their ideas on a previously unheard-of level for the medium. That breaks ground and clears the way for what other works in the genre can get away with. 

Steven Universe showed that, well, first of all that you can make a cartoon that’s fundamentally ideologically queer beyond a few side characters, but also that you can have an emotionally intelligent and mature children's cartoon where the character nuance and depth and development are all taken very seriously. Watchmen showed that you could write serious and interesting narratives about superheroes if you were willing to roll with the crazy. (Neither of them was the first to do the things I’m ascribing to them, but I do think that they’re what made it stick for their respective fields.)

In doing so, though, both works create/created a catch 22 for all future works in their genre. Part of what made both of them so good is that they were willing to critically unpack and air out the ugly implications of their format that usually get chalked up to suspension of disbelief, and now that that’s out in the open it becomes very difficult not to think about how any other given work is or isn’t addressing those issues- even if they aren’t equipped to address those issues in the scope of the story they’re trying to tell. Watchmen asked questions about who sanctions superheroes, what qualifies you to do that work, where the line is between heroism and fascism or if there even is one, whether the agency to act means you have a right or a duty to act, whether anyone who seriously bought into the superhero thing could possibly be doing it for good reasons, and, if they somehow were, how long you can care with the intensity necessary to be an effective hero without suffering burnout (not long.) I literally can’t think of a single superhero thing worth reading that isn’t in some way in conversation with Watchmen - you now kind of have to answer those questions, explicitly or implicitly, even if your books thesis is “Alan Moore sucks eggs and being a superhero is very sustainable and fantastic.” If you just leave the question of whether your superheroes are justified completely unaddressed, there’s an uncomfortable discordance there, because we’ve seen the extreme end of that sliding scale in the form of the Comedian and if the narrative doesn’t engage with what makes the protagonist not Edward Blake, it can feel worrisome. If they try and then botch it it can feel alarming.

Steven Universe has a similar thing going on, at least for me. It’s the only unironic, non-parodic children’s series that’s really, seriously unpacked how fucked up and traumatic it would be to grow up as the archetypical All-loving Spirited Saturday Morning Cartoon Protagonist, how warped and dysfunctional a household that enabled that lifestyle could be at its worst, and what the future looks like when your whole childhood was centered on a now-ended conflict. ( a lot of cartoons flirt with that last one but don’t commit.) I’ve seen jokes and intended-as-cracky fan theories about this for years, surrounding lots of other cartoons (Ben 10, Pokemon, Powerpuff Girls) but almost never with the assumption that the creators are on the same page as them. I’ve seen stories that are post-modern reimaginings using the same general archetypes or whatever (Venture Brothers) but that’s not this! SU told an entertaining story earnestly, and then engaged with the emotional fallout of the story it told, with an unheard-of breadth and depth. A whole season of unpacking! No other show has ever been allowed to sink that much effort into closure. That’s usually what Fanfic is for.

I think it’s great, and that shows like Infinity Train and The Owl House are able to go as hard as they do largely because of Steven Universe’s precedent- but no matter how good a cartoon is, I can’t watch them without having this voice in the back of my head going “Oh, these children are going to grow up to be broken wrecks, bar an extensive and harsh healing process that kinda hurts to watch, huh.”

The issue is that not every cartoon can be Steven Universe, where the project was to thoughtfully and sensitively unpack this stuff. It’s a fair bet that we’ll probably never see a show with that exact project again (not least because of the loss of novelty value.) You’ve got your own stories you wanna tell that’ll run their own course, mostly aimed at children, there objectively isn’t narrative or financial room for most stories to unpack these assumptions if that wasn’t the goal going in. For example, Gravity Falls had pretty tight storytelling and a narrative that absolutely had room for a post-script "where-do-we-go-from-here” plot- it sped-run the “oh no, childhood’s ending” thing- and it’s pretty telling that the aftermath, healing process, interpersonal relationships and so forth are one of the things that that fandom heavily fixates on. The narrative had such a clean ending that it made people go looking for the mess. That’s not bad! It’s how most storytelling works! But now I look at any cartoon with kid heroes that’s meant to be taken even marginally seriously and go, Oh. Win the battle, lose the war. Then I feel sad. The contrast, of course, is that most superhero works actually can be, and in fact benefit from trying to be like Watchmen, because all the questions Watchmen raises about the ethics of power are also just.... like.... the most interesting storytelling hooks if you want to write a cape thing with real themes. They’re the kind of stories we’d have gotten years prior naturally if not for the CCA boondoggle. Admittedly it kinda creates a different problem where most “good” cape media is inescapably self-referential and draws on picking apart the conventions of a 60-70-year old canon that hasn’t been in wide circulation in years. But! I also think there’s a stronger obligation there to keep superhero fans in check- if your superhero thing isn’t making the reader question the ethics of violence and individual heroism in the face of systemic injustice, you wind up with people who unironically think Frank Castle is a role model to be emulated. We all know that guy. Children’s media doesn’t really produce that guy the same way, although it can draw them in from other corners. Superhero media often needs to be self-critical in a way children’s cartoons don’t always have to be.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

[primergon]

Hello i was wondering if i can request an TFP match up! ☺️

Im a ENFP, female, 5’5 and a scorpio

i go by she/her they/them im very talkative and interactive with people even with people i don’t really know im very good at starting conversations.

personality wise, i’m very kind and caring but i get irritated/angry very easily if poked the wrong way, i’m very ditsy and say stuff i never meant to say which cause issues, also very dramatic at certain stuff like shows and things i enjoy, im also very curious about things and i’m always try to learn more about people.

things i love are; cats and dogs, Drawing, doing makeup, drawing and writing for my friends, i also love coffee.

i get very clingy with my friends i enjoy hugging and hand holding (platonically). i also curse a lot when i don’t mean to. i try my best and help people around me but never really take care of my own mental health issues.

A/N: Hello anon, hope you are well! Thanks for sending your ask <3 I am indecisive so I think I'll pair you up with TFP Ratchet and Shockwave!

TFP RATCHET

01| Although Ratchet is more quiet and reserved personality-wise, he is attracted to your playful and lively nature. You insisted on befriending him, your outgoing nature leading you to start conversations with Ratchet. Even if he initially showed no interest in returning the gesture, he started to warm up to you. The doctor finds himself missing you, catching himself disturbed by the silence. Your chatter would usually keep him occupied, a background noise he enjoys to listen and engage with during work. Ratchet would nag you whenever you don't visit often ( he says he's worried that the location of this base may be compromised but everyone knows it's because he wants you to keep him company. )

02| Ratchet likes how curious you are at everything, he is inquisitive by nature. It warms his heart to see you playing with the children and the animals you pass by on patrol. Your genuine curiosity towards Ratchet's past made him open up to you. He's touched that you were willing to listen to him the same way he listens to you. As much as Ratchet scoffs at your dramatic retelling of the most recent episode of your favorite show, he's actually interested. You were surprised that he remembers every detail. " Don't just end the story there, what happened to your favorite character ?" " Wait, you were listening? So you do care !"

03| Arguments were inevitable, yet they don't happen often. You may share playful banter a handful of times, but serious disagreements were usually avoided through open communication. Both you and Ratchet are more emotionally attuned than others, and you both tend to say things you don't mean in an argument. No one likes to fight with their partners, so you both always make sure to find a solution to it. While Ratchet brings creative solutions and commitment to fixing problems, you offer a more flexible attitude that helps dissolve tension. Ratchet likes how you can make him smile whenever he's in a bad mood.

04| Both you and Ratchet can often forget to take care of yourselves. So you both take it upon yourselves to look out for another. He's not exactly clingy, but he will return gestures of affection when you're both alone. While your cursing may bother Ultra Magnus, Ratchet isn't phased, not when he likes to mutter curses under his breath on a particularly rough day too.

TFP SHOCKWAVE

01| Shockwave isn't completely detached from his emotions as everyone says. Cybetronians aren't robots, they can't just turn off their feelings and conscience. He has only suppressed them to the point of numbness. Yet, this doesn't mean he doesn't feel. He's curious about this growing attraction he has towards you. As cruel as it sounds he initially saw you as an experiment and he didn't notice your presence much. Until he starts hearing laughter from the corridors. He'd catch you chatting with the Vehicons and sharing quips with Knockout. He finds you strange. He finds you intriguing.

02| Shockwave is a logical thinker and prefers to discuss issues by addressing facts; while you generally prefer to address the emotional aspects of an issue. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you complete one another. There is balance in your work, and that is more than enough for Shockwave to start valuing you. Eventually, he doesn't only see you as an equal, but he sees you as someone special to him. It's been a while since he explored anything romantic towards anyone. At times you'd argue because of his bluntness, it would lead to a lot of miscommunication. However, you were more than happy to take the lead. Even if the gesture isn't outwardly noticeable, our scientist is also making efforts.

03| He likes to stare. At first, you think it's creepy, but then you realize he was admiring you. It took you a while to catch on when he doesn't have a face. His glowing red eye may be intimidating, but you don't miss the subtle show of love he has towards you whenever you pick up a stray cat to cuddle it. You weren't allowed to reveal your location to anyone but you were allowed to write letters to your loved ones ( after much convincing on your part. ) So he watches you neatly fold the paper into an envelop to be shipped back home. Shockwave says he's watching to supervise you so you won't compromise the Decepticon cause or reveal any sensitive information on your letters, but you once had caught him longingly hold the paper across his fingers.

04| He doesn't understand why you like to drink so much coffee when it tastes bitter. Yet he knows it makes you productive, so he would ask several Vehicons to fetch you some lattes. It was a funny sight, yet you are always thankful for the delivery after a long day in the lab. Shockwave would hold it out to you gently, making sure that your order is right every time. Your fingers would brush and he'd cradle your palm tenderly. It may be subtle, but coming from Shockwave, it was more than enough.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx

[ilikekidsshows]

One thing that pisses me off not just about the miraculous fandom but modern fandoms is fans inability to consume long overarching stories.

Like so many people are complaining about how long the reveal is taking or why haven't certain characters outgrown this trait yet or why is this character arc botched or abandoned. Like guys we just got the confirmation this show will be 7 seasons long PLUS like 3 tv specials. We're only roughly halfway through the series.

Once the reveal happens half the tension in the show is gone! I'm not saying leave the reveal till season 7 and make us wait 9 years this isn't HIMYM but miraculous is not a fast paced story. It's a long haul story. I just wish more fans would be patient. Miraculous is in the extremely fortunate and rare position that it will have a conclusive end and not be suddenly cancelled. That was and still is a huge problem for shows and cartoons with dedicated fans but networks pull the plug for stupid ass reasons.

So miraculous fans please chill the fuck out on things not resolving right away. We still have 78+ episodes plus the tv specials. If we get the end to certain things now it'll be so boring.

I think the concept of Instant Gratification describes the issue with many modern fandoms today. I hate to sound like I'm anti-technology, but the constant stream of quick and short bursts of entertainment allowed by the information age has made people more impatient. It's not about waiting for the climax to get a deeper sense of satisfaction, it's about getting that instant gratification right this instant. It's why one-shot fanfics are all over the place, when multi-chapter stories used to be just as common and popular, if not even more so, and it’s also why people are less willing to read a fic that’s still a work in progress. It's why people refuse to watch Youtube video essays even as they leave comments on the topic based on the title and thumbnail alone because, while they couldn't be assed to watch a 20-minute video (let alone an hour long one), they sure can spend that time calling the Youtuber names and making arguments the video actually already refutes. It's why a lot of online arguments happen only because one party read nothing but the first and maybe the last paragraph of someone's post and skipped all the explanation for their point of view (if I've ignored an counter argument for one of my posts, it was either because I missed it or because said counter argument did this. I have attention deficit issues so I do genuinely forget responses sometimes, but I'm also not writing a second essay for someone who's proven to me they won't read it).

Of course, it's only by constantly consuming only fast-paced content that you can become this impatient. People have different ideas about stories based on what stories they have encountered in the past.

Another thing that influences the Miraculous fandom in particular is that, while I love to show off exactly how much Miraculous has done to build up the overarching plotlines, Miraculous isn't really a show that's about a single story. It's easy to understand why people think it is one though: there's one main villain, we keep discovering more about the mythology, one of the main plot threads is the romantic relationship between the leads and singular episodes and plot elements tend to get payoff later. What is the purpose of a show if not to progress the story? Because the heroes aren't getting closer to defeating Gabriel or getting together, people think that the story isn't accomplishing anything.

I'll do a comparison to illustrate why these things aren't as clear-cut signs of a continuous storyline as people think. In the Spider-Man comics, you can pick any issue up and the chances are that the villain will be a part of Spider-Man's already established Rogues Gallery, who's back for more after who knows how many defeats, and those past defeats might even get referenced in callbacks to previous issues. It's also very possible that Peter and Mary Jane's relationship is the central focus with them not being together yet, having relationship problems or even having broken up (in really old issues the girl might be Gwen Stacy and short-term options have also always been available for romantic entanglements). Does this mean Spider-Man is a continuous story where the only point is that all the villains get put away for good and Peter and MJ live happily ever after? No, it doesn't. Spider-Man is designed to go on indefinitely, so there's no clear ending point. So, what is the point of Spider-Man then, if there is no Ending?

It used to be the single issue, because comic books used to have every issue be a stand-alone story about the hero and their supportive cast. These days it's more every three-to-six issues, because superhero comics are written to have short story arcs that can then be collected into trade paperbacks. A superhero series is not a single story; it's a series that functions as a story engine, meaning the series can generate several shorter stories where the hero helps fix a problem or solve a mystery.

In the superhero genre a villain will never get killed off or removed from stories permanently as long as the writers think they can still come up with stories to tell about them. The hero's romantic life will never be completely smooth sailing unless the writer is using other things to ramp up the stakes. Everything always allows for there to be another adventure.

I think the huge success of Avatar: the Last Airbender made people think that a series that is a single story is always superior to a series with multiple shorter plots. When I was liveblogging Sailor Moon, a viewer offered to give me a list of all the non-filler episodes because they genuinely thought I'd feel like I was wasting time on the show otherwise. This attitude is simply not based on fact. It's not fair to compare Miraculous Ladybug to Avatar, because they're both setting up to do completely different things. Miraculous Ladybug is trying to become a brand, like Batman or Spider-Man. It is part of the "Zag Heroes" lineup, a series of French-created superhero franchises to compete in the America-centric superhero market. This challenge is good for the genre, because Marvel and DC have started resembling each other more and more as these companies stew in their old ideas and copy everything that worked for the other one. The superhero genre needs new blood.

Also, Avatar: the Last Airbender first became popular by doing episodic plots for almost the entirety of the first season because it's actually not a wise choice to expect the audience to be willing to commit to a story that'll only give payoff later when working with an untested IP. Very often shows with longer story arcs start with the episodic format to hook people first, and sometimes the more linear plot is introduced specifically because the audience for the show is now expected to be both dedicated enough and older and capable of keeping up. Because, here's the thing: you can't expect little kids to remember every episode or even every character you've introduced in your show. I'm not sure if people are ready to hear that but I'm throwing it out there anyway. Kids are not dumb, they can understand more complex storylines, but many kids are still training their memory, so they might not remember the details of complex storylines that go on for too long.

This is why the news that Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season was going to have a recommended viewing order originally had me concerned. Miraculous is being branded for kids. The plot requiring too much skill in memorizing story details will make it less accessible to kids and might put those two additional seasons at risk. However, it seems that the "constantly changing status quo" concept of Truth, Lies and Gang of Secrets was a fluke and the evolution of the show is more subtle, so they might not be cutting the amount of episodes for those final seasons because the show is getting too complicated for kids to follow all the important details.

Regardless, Miraculous Ladybug being an adventure cartoon TV show instead of a comic book or a more cheaper-to-produce TV drama does mean that Miraculous Ladybug isn’t expected to go on for decades like a superhero comic or a soap opera. Because of this, it can have evolution and changes and even a planned ending. The show is expected to end at some point, even by the people making money off of it, mostly because making a cartoon like this indefinitely costs a lot of money, and kids’ adventure shows tend to see a decrease in returns if they go on for too long.

[halfusek]

Hi :) I have a few questions about Abomination (which I just reread for the fourth time. Yes, I'm nuts ;) Forgive me if you've already been asked them, but looking through your answers I couldn't find any of my own ^^.

1-Why kill Jack in the first story? I mean, Norman wanted answers and started poking around, right. But not Jack?

2- It's dreams and hallucinations that Joey suffers from? He doesn't really talk to Bertum or the corpses of those he killed? He's intoxicated by the ink, isn't he? And Sammy too, then, or is it just regret that makes him see Jack's ghost?

3-Why does Sammy help Joey kill? I mean, I get that Joey's intoxicated by ink and has anger management issues.  But Sammy?

4-Why remake the whole Studio Story with toons? To make perfect toons and get the process right? Or eventually free all the souls that are cursed and come back to the Studio when the former employees die?

5- Is it on purpose that Sammy looks like Henry? Like Joey replaced him? Is Sammy in love with Joey?

6- It's story Joey commits suicide at the end, right?

Squich is really adorable in this one, and I love your Bertum ;). Ah, and Sammy with the loose hair is really, really beautiful. And Joey... He's my favourite. You've really made a wonderful ambivalent character, who we're ashamed to love because we know he's bad, but we love him anyway when we see how capable he is of hurting himself... Bravo ! I can't wait to read the end, even if I'll miss him once the story is over.

Thanks you for this wonderdul comic!

Woah the fact that there are people out there rereading it multiple times is so cool and means a lot :D

1. He was just a sacrifice, one of the first ones, so definitely not a very successful one.

2. Actually, all of those things aren't hallucinations :)

As you pointed out Sammy is also seeing Jack, in the same way that Joey did, now why would they see the same hallucinations? Oh, no, no, they are being haunted

However, the characters don't have to know it, Joey is more in denial about it, looks for reasons to see them in his poor mental state, so his own impression is balancing between hallucinations and something that's actually happening but that's just his point of view - the truth is that those things are happening, for example Bertrum can actually hit Joey (to his surprise)

Regret is in there though too, especially for Sammy :)

3. In the beginning there's a few characters that share this vision and are kind of blinded by it: mainly Joey but also Sammy and Susie. To follow this vision they are willing to make sacrifices, Susie of her own life and Sammy of someone else's (and then possibly his own at some point)

I know I never actually mention that in the comic because in the beginning I was kinda nyooming through what was going on and also I had trouble writing Sammy's character in general :P

4. Joey actually explains it when he meets with Hackenbush - to turn their lives into a better story while still following the rules of how the machine works and what he wanted to do with it, so yes creating the most perfect forms for everyone

But since they are cartoons and also kind of merging their consciousness with the toon ones and the ink, some "details" to their characters are lost in the process, resulting in even very exaggerated caricatures (for example Story!Joey is just straight up evil and mean and there's almost only negatives about him because those were the "main" qualities he expressed during his life)

5. No, I just accidentially designed them like that lmao

But honestly it works in a way so! Joey had nothing to do with how Sammy looks though

And yes you could say that they are in love with each other... gods know why

6. Yes. It was the plan for him to "go last" and since there was no one left, he had to do it himself. It could just be portrayed as a self sacrifice but I definitely wanted to give it a more tragic tone.

-

Thank you, Squish is truly the show stealer xD

My Betrum? Why thank you :D I really like his character and wanted to make him more included in the studio top 10 fucked up moments

And glad you like my Joey hahah he is a wreck

And I can't wait to work on the epilogue! Just had to focus on life stuff for a while but I think I should be able to work on it soon :)

Thank you for the wonderful ask! :D

[maliciouslycreative]

How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived. 

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun. 

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for. 

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later. 

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao. 

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was. 

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics. 

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread. 

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing. 

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned. 

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves. 

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too. 

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at. 

[sapphire-innit]

DRISTAAAAA TIMEEE

VOD: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream’s Sister AGAIN

(rp): Drista!! I love this chaotic child and am looking forward to seeing the children bully each other lmao. I especially love the mythos around Creative mode, and that the most benevolent god on the Dream SMP is just as likely to ban you as hand you a shulker box lol.

I do wonder how in character cc!Tommy is going to be able to stay during this stream: on one hand he’s a master at staying in character even during lh moments, and on the other Exile arc is some Dark Shit and Dristas like what, 14?? Overall I expect this to be one of the lighter streams, with a smattering of moments where we remember that, oh right, Tommy’s pretty actively suicidal at this point and he sees this as one of his last hurrahs.

Speaking of our boy Tommy: it's very clear we are getting closer and closer to the infamous pillar. He switches rapidly between Fight and Fawn reflexes and has mostly internalized Dream’s treatment and conditions at this point. The one stand out moment being him calling out Dream killing Mexican Dream last stream, and pointing out he was changing his story even when Dream tried to lie and say he died of “a drug overdose [...] or natural causes”. I’m curious if Tommy is going to bring it up again, and even more curious if he eventually believes Dream about it; something to watch out for, for sure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this moment of rebellion happened right after he had someone both stand up for him and spend time with him that wasn’t actively hostile or going to end (supposedly, at least by intention)

Hey we didn’t start off drowning for once!! cc!Tommy was also singing, though that could have been mostly out of character as well. Still, remarkably in a better mood, he even mentions having an appetite! You love to see it, and it's clearly because he’s looking forward to Drista’s visit

He’s building a log tower and on one hand, Tommy building Towers is a natural state of being, and on the other…. I know the pillar is coming and I am scared

A mention of the Anti-Dream hole… I still worry about when exactly and how Dream is going to find it. Still, I’m glad it exists, both for Tommy having a space for things important to him, as well as what it represents about his mental state re:not giving over completely to Dream

DRISTA!!!! LOL she was already online we didn't even see her join LOL. CHAOS GREMLIN she just flew over in creative mode and started wrecking shit, as is her right lmaoooo

“You massive jer--, (quieter) whats a nicer way…, YOU MASSIVE DICKHEAD” oh, Tommy..

I like how he tries to punch her even when shes CLEARLY IN CREATIVE MODE ADSADASD

The violence inherent in fourteen year olds,,,, adsfsadfsdfds

I hate this conversation why is this the conversation asdffdsfsd TEENAGERS

DREAM YOUR NOT EVEN A TEENAGER WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE SAME LOGIC

Well SHE can destroy the obsidian asdfsdfds She just Spleefs

“What would Dream do” Probably worse lets be honest

Is he actually gonna go back to L’manburg?? I don’t believe it but I also want :(

Again with the stabbing

AND DOWN HE GOEEEESSSS

“I have the fork, but I'm also killing you” afsafsdfdsf Tommy why are you wearing your good shit omg

Lol cc!Dream trying to defend his character for mocking Tommy’s accent adsfsdfds “I would NEVER” in the totally not believable tone lmaoooo

DID SHE REALLY GO AT HIM WITH A FORK I'M FUCKING DYING DSAFDADSFDS

“I will take it from you and I’ll kill him”... I have so many thoughts about how this works in lore. Is Drista possessing Dream? He can kick her out clearly, but she still has God Powers…

Lol and now SHES mocking his accent lmaoooo (... is it bad she sounded pretty close to me? lol)

Adsfdsfswd casual chaos Drista just broke the Nether Portal

Asking Drista to stop destroying things is a big ask to be honest lmaoo. Also she seems to be at least somewhat informed that ‘Dream is not supposed to be nice to Tommy’ or at least seemed hesitant to do /weather clear

GOD THE LAVA BUCKETS AND THE POTION OF HARMING adsfsdfsdf

“Tommy [beheaded him] actually… and killed Mexican Dream” Dream you motherfucker

“How to Sex 3” THE PANIK!!!!!! From Both cc!Dream and Tommy!!! This server is Not Child Friendly lol (Doesn’t…. That not even include sex things…. afasfsd)

Honestly I can’t stop smiling this is so wholesome somehow even with all the cursing and violence

Pigstep IS a bop, Tommy is right

“Just let him, just let him this one time” :(

“Tommy I still have the Fork” Drista totally willing to stab her brother to visit L’manburg

HE TOOK THE FORK ASDASDAS

Yes, closing your eyes will totally protect you from Forks lol

“I don’t need school, I dropped out” Is this Lore Crumbs, is this Lore

HEYYYY ITS THE BEDROCK, the one piece of bedrock he has lol, I think he still has that in current day right?

Drista is writing her name in BEDROCK adsfsdfds “I’m not going to be able to get rid of that actually” “That's the Point”

LOL SHe also recognized the burrito as from Mos lmaooo

Somehow “I really want to go to the other place.. I don’t know why he won’t let you” hit hard… it was def ooc, and she doesn’t have the full context, but still… its just someone else wanting and asking for Tommy to be able see L’manburg…

Afsdfsd the Small Gasp when she spleefs herself omgg

HES THERE!!! HES THERE!!!!!! L’MANBURG!!!!!!

Punz!!! WHY!!!! Were you there bc Drista might let Tommy through, was this a safeguard for the LORE. Also he’s currently working for Dream directly right, as a merc?

Drista trying to save Tommy!!!! Punz why are you winning a fight with someone in creative adfsadfsd He’s too good lol

They have negotiated a visit… I’m so emotional I wasn’t expecting this…. No one told me we got a real L’manburg visit !

BIG Q SHES FOURTEEN!!! Omg they didn’t tell him it was Drista. BIG Q!!! BIG Q DON’T SELL HER DRUGS

“He was Naked” good for you Drista, good for you. There’s something so hilarious about Drista just stabbing Quackity over and over again cause she’s uncomfortable lol (as is her right)

LOL THE FINAL KILL WITH MAGIC WHEN HE’S ALREADY DROWNING IM

Wha --- what video was it????? What is this Tommy picture on the Technoganda???

….”are you sure I’m allowed here” Dream’s conditioning is strong :(

“At many minute I could get mugged” To be Fair Tommy, that was true before

Did Tommy just suggest spawning in a Wither asdfsdfds

DRISTA DOG ARMY!!!! Aww and Tommy has one too~

THE BENCH!! THE HOUSE!!! Aaaaaaaaa He’s sitting on the bench nature is HEALING

AAAAAAAA A BLAZE!!!! Pfffft

…. Who destroyed the front of Tommys house?

,,,,Drista what are you doing with that soULSAND

“OK we'll turn on him” adsfsdfsd

OH HEY TECHNO!!! Lol “Oh god he meant me” fucking mood big man

……. Tubbo hallucination……… fuck

LOL HE COMBAT LOGGED “YOU CALL THAT COMBAT” I'M

To be fair, logging against a /kill is probably the only way to get away lmao

…...F

“Getting thrown off a cliff is literally how Theseus died!!” lol its also hilarious to me that Tommy def does not remember being called that. Personally I don't think it fits him super well anyway, but I do like it as something Techno calls Tommy, that shows how much he misjudges Tommy's character and intentions. No heroes here, just a kid trying to do good by their friends and what they care about

Techno actually looking up how to kill someone in creative mode

…. :( I just want my actual clingyduo content this is meeeeannn

OH HEY TECHNO …. You fucker he would and it would be HILARIOUS (get mad if Drista opped Techno that is lol)

….

….

IS THIS WHY THEY’RE BEDROCK BROS????? BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE DRISTA BEDROCK??????????????????????????

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ???

LOL TRUE DUO SUPREMACY TUBBO’S GOT TECHNO'S BEDROCK

Oh F Techno got him with the Obliterator lmaoooo

“I have 114 levels PLEASE” asdfdasfsdf

LOL Tubbo with the TNT there's our nuke boy, I'll take my crumbs where I can get them

THE SHULKER HOLY SHIT

“Don't let someone get it!!”” ADSFDSAFSDFDS they all tuRN CC REAL QUICK WHEN THE SHULKER BOXES COME OUT

Awesamdudes like: MORE PLEASE AFDASFDSF

Techno immediately snitching about Elytra and dRISTA GETTING THE ACHIEVEMENT

EVERYONE SNITCHING IN CHAT I'M!!!! DREAMS REACTION ASDFSDFDSF

Drista being the chaotic giver of illegal gifts is so fucking good I'M THRIVING

THE RUN ON PUNZ !!!! omg

Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Tommy being allowed around people <3 <3 This is so wholesome and good and chaotic as all hell

“I thought I was Tom Cruz for like a whole week” ...TOMMY??

LOL SHE BANNED TECHNO OMG

Dristas on a banning Rampage afsdfsdf

BAN GOGGY OMGGG

Omg shes actually making a wITHER DASDASDFAS

Oh no poor Tubbo I didn’t know he was liVE

319k viewers jeezus

Awwwww Techno hyping up Wilbur's song :) that's so sweet actually

…………….Fuck you Dream :( saw the chance to Twist the Knife in c! And TOOK IT

LOL THE FUCKING FORK IS THE BEST BIT LOLLLL

Lol ironically the Bedrock bros song is the oNE COPYRIGHTED ONE, god why did Minecraft ever copyright Pigstep what a shit move honestlyyy

Pigstep fucking goING TO TECHNO LOLLLLLL “this is the most powerful item on the server since it DMCA’s people”

LOL PUNZ TRYING TO STEAL ANOTHER SHULKER

Poor Sam he actually has to BUILD give this man a SHULKER

Lol Everyone wants a shulker so much

….aww he tried to toss the pigstep disc lmaooo DRISTAS LITERALLY HOLDING IT Scaaaaaammmmed

Drista “I NEED IT ON HAND” So committed to violence !!!

The fucking creepers on the way out omg fuckign PERFECT

LOL TOMMY WASN’T READY FOR THE TURN AROUND ON CURSING LMAO You can tell he's always been the youngest who people aren't sure how much they can curse around lmao He's so soft honestly he talks such a big game and then CRUMBLES when called on it lol

Asfdsfs she fell through the same hole again afsdfsdfsd

Drista has been introduced to a Weapon and she’s gotten ATTACHED lmaooo

Wait HOLD THE PHONE Dream has multiple sisters??? Lol

“Yeah I like Shit” Dream: “whAT???”

Bye Drista it’s been nice!!! I hope she had a good time, she seems like a good kid (who is definitely not a content creator lol though she keeps up admirably)

Drista’s one of the few people who can make Tommy speechless lmaooo he looks actually shocked lol

Also first mention of GhostInnit…. cc!Tommy…..

Keep preparing…. Was his original plan to rush Dream even if (maybe especially if…) he died? Fuck man

Also holy shit was this stream right before Quackitys? ? amazing

This was honestly such a BLAST and a really good time, and I can see why its viewed as one of the few breaks we get during Exile :) I feel so refreshed and it was so so nice to have Tommy hanging out in L’manburg having fun with his friends (even if Tubbo was stuck being a Hallucination and Also Banned lol) No deeper insight, I just haven’t stopped smiling for an hour and a half <3

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Marvel What If’s Women Problem

Welcome back to the feminist rant!

I really didn’t intend to spend three weeks in a row writing about the Marvel animated series What If…? But I wanted to see this through.

Last week we talked about this show’s abundant use of the “fridged woman” trope. However, a show doesn’t need to kill its female characters in order to fail them.

Remember that time I made up a feminist movie test? I call it the “Want Test.” You can read the full explanation here, but here’s the summary:

This test requires that a film (or, in this case, an episode of a TV show) has at least one named female character. After watching the show, ask, “Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?” Then, score the movie based on the answer to this question.

If the answer is “Yes, what the named female character wants matters to the plot,” then give the movie a checkmark!”

If the answer is “Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters,” then the movie gets a check-plus. If these characters help each other get what they want, the movie gets a check-double-plus!

If the answer is “Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal,” then the movie gets a check-minus. The woman may matter to the plot, but her importance is centered on her relationship to a male character and how much he matters to the plot. Often movies with a check-minus involve a male protagonist actively trying to stop a female character from getting what she wants; while she has an impact on the world around her, the movie isn’t rooting for the woman.

If the answer is “No, what she wants doesn’t matter,” then the movie fails the test. Give it a minus.

Okay, now let’s talk about Marvel What If. Once again, there are spoilers for the first seven episodes of this show below the cut, and some discussion of the plot points in the movies these episodes are based on.

When I compare the first seven episodes of What If to the Want Test, they each barely scrape their way to a check-minus (though after my rant last week, I’m tempted to edit my test so that a show that fridges a female character automatically fails). In summary, it does not matter what most of the named female characters want. Each episode has a single woman whose wants do affect the plot, but what she wants is always some kind of obstacle to a male character’s goal. Even when the women of What If survive the episode, the male characters’ feelings are the primary engine of the show.

As I neared the end of Episode Six, “What If… Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?” I said to myself, “Well, at least Pepper and Shuri aren’t dead.” But then, in the last minute of the episode, Shuri and Pepper meet and state their intent to take down Killmonger. And I said to myself, “Okay, so why didn’t we get THAT episode?”

Sure, it’s cool to see two smart girls teaming up, but they don’t get to do anything! This episode repeatedly puts Pepper and Shuri down. Every time they express suspicion of Killmonger, someone contradicts them. What they want does not matter. They are obstacles to the men, and they are easily pushed aside, and so all they can do is stand in the background and watch while the boys run around and play war games.

If your named female characters only matter in the last scene of the show, then they don’t really matter. This episode wasn’t about the women at all. It was about the men killing each other and making each other sad.

*

I really don’t want to say much about the seventh episode, “What If… Thor Were an Only Child?”

What I will say is, “Why, why, WHY is Dr. Jane Foster more concerned about hurting the hot guy’s feelings than she is about how the hot guy is about to cause the end of the world?”

And I will also say, “Why does Captain Marvel need to be nice to Thor at the end of the episode after he spent the entire episode being a jackass to her?”

And I will end this section of the blog post by saying, “Frigga deserves so much better than any man in her family has ever given her.”

*

The second episode of this show, “What If… T’Challa Became a Star-Lord?” might be my favorite episode. Mainly because it’s the only one I genuinely liked while I was watching it. It was fun, and I was happy to hear Chadwick Boseman’s voice one more time. Overall, it’s a lovely tribute to both the actor and his character.

But, for me, liking this episode required ignoring a big problem: Nebula and Thanos’s relationship.

We don’t know exactly when in this timeline T’Challa met Thanos and convinced him to give up on the “murder half the universe” plan. But we do know that even before Thanos collected the Infinity Stones, he was roaming the universe slaughtering millions. We know he committed genocide against Gamora’s people the day he “adopted” her, and it’s safe to assume he did the same to Nebula’s. We know that he raised Gamora and Nebula to fight each other, and every time Nebula lost a fight, he replaced a part of her body with cybernetics, constantly torturing her.

What If never tells us that that Thanos did not abuse his daughters. It never tells us that he did not slaughter millions, including his daughters’ birth families. But it does tell us that Thanos is Nebula’s father. And he wouldn’t be her father if he hadn’t been roaming the universe killing people.

In this episode, we see an adult Nebula who seems to think her dad is annoying, but any feelings she might have about how genuinely terrible he is – feelings she was freely willing to admit in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies – go completely unmentioned.

Thanos and Nebula’s relationship is played for laughs, like they just need to get over their past and hug it out. That bothers me a lot. It’s like the show is saying that Nebula’s pain doesn’t matter. What matters is that Thanos is sad she doesn’t want to hang out with him.

I should also point out that in Avengers: Infinity War, Gamora gets fridged. Her feelings are unimportant to the plot; her stated desire to die before she can be used as a part of Thanos’s plot is mocked and discarded. When she is murdered, the moment of her death is all about how it would hurt Thanos to kill her. Gamora’s death also serves as motivation for Peter Quill to sabotage the other heroes’ efforts to stop Thanos.

Gamora is nowhere to be seen in this episode of What If. The women that Thanos abused really don’t matter here at all.

*

I’ve been putting off talking about this show’s pilot episode, “What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?” This episode was… You know, it was fun, in a very similar way to how the Star Lord T’Challa episode was fun. I can’t lie and say I didn’t like seeing super buff Peggy Carter beat the crap out of Nazis. That was a lot of fun.

But the thing I couldn’t stop thinking while watching was, “This isn’t Peggy’s story. It’s Steve’s!”

Peggy Carter may have gotten the super serum in this reality, but Steve Rogers is still the main driving force of the plot. Peggy goes to Germany to save Steve’s best friend. She works with Steve’s allies, the Howling Commandoes, instead of finding her own. Steve’s issues and emotions are central to everything Peggy does; she may say in dialogue that she wants to end the war, but what we see is that Steve is her motivation. In fact, he’s everyone’s motivation – in the scene where Peggy, Bucky, Howard, and the Howling Commandoes decide to go take down Red Skull, they all go around the table and say that they’re doing it “for Steve.” Not because ending the war is the right thing to do, not because they care about the millions of people murdered and tortured by the Nazis – but because they care about Steve.

When I first heard about this show, I thought that Steve was going to die, and that would be why Captain Carter would exist. The interesting/ironic thing here is that the episode pokes at the idea of fridging Steve, but it doesn’t quite have the guts to go through with it. Everyone thinks that Steve died on the train, but then they find him in Red Skull’s castle, and he’s totally fine! Killing off Captain America would have been an interesting, powerful new direction to take the story. But this episode doesn’t seem interested in taking new directions. It seems more interested in showing how things would stay the same even if Steve didn’t get the serum, even if Peggy switched careers from secret agent to superhero, even if Bucky never became the Winter Soldier, even if Red Skull decided to open a portal to tentacle hell. Things just stay the same.

And I don’t get the point of presenting us with a show where there are “endless possibilities” if things are just going to stay the same. If Peggy Carter will still be a side character in Steve Roger’s story. If Hank Pym’s grief still matters more than Janet and Hope Van Dyne’s lives. If Thanos will still never be held accountable for abusing Gamora and Nebula. If Doctor Strange is still an arrogant jackass. If the only realities we see are ones where men get to act and feel, and women get to be plot devices.

The truth is that the Watcher just isn’t interested in showing us realities where women live and thrive in their own right. For all its emphasis on how different decisions can cause dramatic changes to reality, the creators of What If have no real investment in making different decisions in how they portray female characters. It’s just more of the same.

I’m done thinking about this show. Let’s talk about something else next week, okay?

Be good to yourself, be kind to each other, and you’ll hear from me again soon!

[yanderedbh-moved]

Kamski x F!Reader x Connor Polyship NSFW Alphabet

NSFW and yandere relationship below, please do not continue reading if this sort of content upsets you.

Word Count 3100

Requests are open, not just for DBH, I’m going to try and write for more fandoms in the future to prevent burn out, so you’re more than welcome to submit other fandoms if you wish! (As a matter of fact I’ve been on a MASSIVE Disney characters/villains kick right now... just saying...)

Donations are always welcome.

Link the similar N/S/F/W alphabet I made for a Connor x F! Reader x Kamski Polyship

Aftercare, are they very doting after sex?

Considering how Kamski is hardly the type of person to extend much sympathy or compassion to you without some kind of ulterior motive. Your expectations for him helping to soothe you after intimacy were low. This is not true, however, but perhaps not for the most wholesome of reasons. See, Kamski loves you in a rather objectifying way, as in you are one of his possessions, and he prides himself on taking excellent care of his belongings, you and Connor both. After sex, Kamski would help to clean you up, get you freshwater, a pain killer, some tea, anything you request to soothe you. He’s more than happy to oblige you with.

Predictably, Connor can’t help but wear his heart on his sleeve when he’s isolated with his lovers. Connor too, would want to help and get you cleaned up, but he would also be at your side, whispering sweet words in your ear, soft praises, and helping to put your mind at ease.

Body Part, their favorite body part of either their own body or yours

Kamski, like any craftsman, is rather proud of his strong hands, and by extension, the hands are always a feature Kamski can’t help but feel drawn to. Kamski can be a rather touchy-feely kind of person as well, so even if the two of you aren’t being sexually active at the moment, it’s tough for him to resist running his hands along your body and feeling your flesh against his. 

Connor and Kamski do share an affinity for the neck. Something about the thin flesh, your throbbing pulse, the body heat, it’s all so alluring to the men. Because of this, it’s nearly a constant guarantee your neck will be covered in bruises and bite marks while in their possession. While it may be a shame to tarnish such a lovely part of you, it will heal in time, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re ready for another fresh batch of scars and marks to cover your neck, collarbones, and chest.

Cum

There’s no one answer when it comes to Kamski. If he’s putting on a show, as in is taking you while he’s recording. (Whether you’re privy to this information or not) If he’s going down on you and another Chloe or two? In cases like these, Kamski loves to make a mess, leave you sticky. In private, it’s another story. The man is most meticulous with the cleanup.

Connor pretty exclusively prefers to cum inside you and wouldn’t really feel comfortable covering you in his seed, making a mess all over Kamski’s nice sheets. Your body is already so lovely in its naked form. Why would he feel the need to cover you up anymore?

Dirty secret

Kamski loves to record you during sex without your knowledge. Not just from Connor’s perspective, either. He likely has at least a few cameras set up to capture the moment at different angles. He imagines on a dull day leaking the footage of you like this, just to see how you’ll react. 

Connor finds the idea of you suffering from a complete and total mind break very attractive. The concept of a human, the one who he loves more than any other becoming nothing more than a braindead, submissive, obedient little toy for the deviant and his master to control. Another of Connor’s nastier tactics around you is isolation. Even though he does his best to appear the sweeter, more loving of the two, Connor punishes you by locking you away in the dark with no one to socialize with. To leave you so utterly depraved that you're practically crawling back to him, begging for forgiveness.

Experience

In a sense, both Kamski and Connor likely had little experience with human women before this relationship. Kamski occupying any physical needs of his own with the Chloes and Connor, never having a desire to pursue anyone before deviancy. However, Kamski isn’t the demure, shy type, and even if he may not have the most experience with a human lover, he’s been waiting and practicing for this moment.

Favorite Position

Considering how easy it is for Kamski to get in on some group action, it’s unlikely Kamski would simply identify as either a top or a bottom. He prefers more than one partner at a time. He wants to feel and experience sensations on more than one feeling all around him and is generally a more switch-type partner himself.

Connor, while still discovering more about sex and his own sexuality, generally prefers to face you during sex but is more than happy to obey orders and comply with whoever happens to be dominant in the situation. What Connor does know is he wants to touch and see you in all your beauty as much as possible.

Goofy, are they goofy or serious during sex?

Kamski really isn’t the kind of partner who would mess around too much before or even really during sex. He’s really such a slow and sensual type, the type of person trying to really commit to setting a mood.

Connor is less picky about this, however, if he senses one of his partners is really trying to set the mood seriously. He wouldn’t want to be disrespectful and ruin that. Though, if he feels you’re getting a little too intimidated by Kamski, he might try to “break character” and comfort you, promise you everything will be alright.

Hair, how well-groomed are they?

Kamski, who lived as a bachelor before he started this relationship, likely would’ve kept himself well-groomed “just in case.” He wants to sell people on his image of the perfect, polished, and well put together protégé. Leaving no detail unaccounted for. He, too, holds a preference for other people to be well-groomed. It’s a useful short handed way to show him you’re doing your best to be presentable, clean, and worthy of him. Connor, on the other hand, is nowhere near as strict as his partner is. However, he’d likely be more inclined to try different things or change details of his appearance if his partner were to request so.

Intimacy, Are they romantic in the moment?

It depends, with Kamski, but as for Connor, he feels most aroused and most in the mood for intimacy when he knows he’s the one giving you pleasure or when you’re the one yearning for him. Because of that, Connor is easily more inclined to take things relatively slow, communicate, whatever it is he thinks would work the best between the two of you. 

As for Kamski, he’s a bit tougher to read. Even as a yandere, and even if he is madly in love, he doesn’t ever wear his heart on his sleeve and is seldom easy to read. He likes to keep the tension high during sex and have your full attention on him, so imagine he’s more the type to shock you with a little rough play, draw blood or leave you needy and desperate after edging. 

Jack off, masturbation headcanon

Kamski is known for working long hours into the night or pulling allnighters in the name of productivity, and because of that, he feels no shame in relieving a little tension during breaks between projects. Even though he could use any android he desired to do the work for him, Kamski likes to watch the recordings he has of you having sex without you knowing you’re being recorded. Kamski is likely the type to flip flop between voyeurism and exhibitionism frequently.

Connor actually jacks off more than expected. As someone new and just coming into his own sexuality, he is still a little timid and self-conscience about some things and finds masturbation a more discrete way to explore and try out new kinks he’s curious about. 

Kink, one or more of their kinks

As mentioned above for Kamski, he flops back and forth between enjoying being watched and watching others without their knowledge. However, he also has an intense praise kink.

As of right now, Connor still falls into the “is willing to try anything once” in terms of most kinks. However, what he has noticed is the way he feels his arousal spike whenever your eyes widen and fill with fear. The way he can practically feel your adrenaline spiking is delicious to him and makes his feel so powerful and domination over you.

Location, their favorite place to get dirty

Neither would want to take you just anywhere, so the two would both likely agree the best place for intimacy is in the bedroom. However, Kamski likes to take you out to the pool and tease you while you’re in a skimpy bathing suit. Teasing you by undoing your top and brushing up against the bare skin of your flesh, pulling you onto his lap, that sort of thing.

Motivation, what are some big turn-ons for them?

Obedience! Not to say they don’t see the appeal in a bratty partner. However, compliance, weather forced or not, is just so pleasing. Connor loves explicitly when you’re begging for him specifically, as it really boosts his ego as a newly deviated machine. While Kamski, on the other hand, finds nothing hotter than watching you be taken by Connor, as well as maybe a Chloe. Both humans and machines under his complete control.

No, something they’re unwilling to do

Kamski is not ready to be a father. Pregnancy is strictly off the table. He might’ve suffered from a rougher childhood than one might expect, and because of that, he finds himself very taken back and almost scared around children. He doesn’t like the idea of you ever using the child against him, either. (Imagine if you were to ever threaten to leave with the child. He knows he wouldn’t be able to remain in control if you were to do this.)

As for Connor, he wouldn’t want to share you with another lover outside of the household. (It took him a while to come around to trusting the Chloes with you, but little by little found himself opening up to them.) He is also very turned on by the fact he stole you away from your past life and your old lover. As far as he’s concerned, your old life with others is over now.

Oral, preference in giving vs. receiving, skill level, etc.

Kamski and Connor both definitely prefer receiving. However, Connor wants to make sure you’re enjoying yourself as well, and Kamski would like you to know what a capable lover he really is. 

Pace, are they fast, slow, rough, gentle, etc.?

Both prefer to keep the pace slower, whether this is between just two people or several different parties are involved. Though while Kamski may take his time with things, that doesn’t always mean he’ll treat you gently, and if you test him, Kamski won’t hesitate to lash out and teach you just what happens when you try and disobey your master. 

Connor certainly has the potential to get just as rough but prefers to not use physical force unless he really has to. It’s a subtle power play against Kamski actually because he knows, even if the two of them are keeping you here against your will, if Connor treats you gentler out of the two of them, you’ll subconsciously warm up to him more, and maybe even start to genuinely start to trust in him. 

Risk, are they willing to experiment?

Absolutely! Kamski loves to mix things up with the three of you to keep you guessing and unsure how to behave around them, and loves to analyze the reactions you give and learn even more about you. While Connor is just as happy to be the one to shyly ask you to try something new out on him, as well as to plot against you with Kamski. Both are equally rewarding for him, making him all the more difficult to read.

Stamina, how many rounds can they go?

Typically speaking, Kamski isn’t the type to limit himself to just one round. However, if you’re clearly exhausted or don’t appear to mentally focus yourself entirely on the sex, he finds himself far less inclined to continue. And he might even show you a rare moment of tenderness, snuggling your body up against his and making sure you’re soundly asleep before leaving the bed. 

Connor is somewhat similar to Kamski here. He tries his hardest to be very in tune and aware of his partners’ needs, and because of that, can pick up on any chances of going another round with you, or if he should dial things back a little and let you regain your strength and let you sleep, rather than to push you too far.

Toys, Do they own any toys, or are they averse to this?

It really goes without saying, but if there’s one thing Kamski and Connor are in firm agreement on, it’s being very in favor of the idea of using toys. While Connor isn’t too interested in porn outside of the bedroom, he might, out of curiosity, of course, watch and research to see what he can learn and try out on you and Kamski later. 

Neither would feel much shame about this either, considering they are both relatively secular men in their own right. They see nothing wrong with the idea of enjoying some more perverse technology to test out on you. While this is a massive turn on for the two, it’s also important to know, if they really were testing out some new gadget on you, Connor would urge you to use a safe word, just in case something went wrong.

Unfair, are they likely to tease?

It really goes without saying. However, Kamski is very much the type of person who would tease his partner. Both before and during sex. Even if he does prefer to keep a slow and sensual mood during intimacy, that doesn’t mean he won’t edge, tease or deny you to help get you extra worked up and needy for him. 

Connor is far, far less likely to act this way. However, if he’s being guided by Kamski, then he wouldn’t hesitate to obey his master and force you to service both men all night long without returning the favor. However, he’s much easier to convince to go easy on you, even if he may enjoy watching you struggle much more than he would confess.

Volume, how loud are they?

Kamski not only isn’t too loud himself, but he also has little interest in loud partners. He finds little pleasure in the idea of you screaming or overemphasizing your natural reactions. What Kamski loves most is the shyer, hesitant reactions he can work from you and Connor. 

Connor prefers to listen to his partner and hear what they sound like rather than drown them out with his own volume. Also, he might think it’s merely proper or more natural for the male partner to be so quiet, considering he’s been studying Kamski as a mentor. 

Wildcard, any random headcanon

Kamski, the mastermind, even though he cares deeply for Connor, wouldn’t hesitate to put him in danger as a means to get to you. Imagine a scenario where Connor was left to watch over you while he was away, and Kamski learns Connor let you out of the house while he was gone. Kamski wouldn’t hesitate to hurt the android as a means to get to you. Even if both men terrified you, Connor was by far the lesser evil here, and knowing that because you left the house, now Connor is hurt would really guilt you into becoming far more compliant with Kamski in the future.

X-ray, what’s going on under those clothes?

Kamski prefers to keep both his lovers and himself in high quality, practically tailor-made undergarments. It’s not that he thinks you need to be all dressed up to be beautiful, but rather, it’s the control he truly loves. The way he can order you around, as though he programmed you himself.

Connor is more than happy to obey here. He prefers to keep himself a perfect, loving image of his creator, considering it an honor to wear such comfortable, lovely garments. While Kamski isn’t too interested in seeing you wear his clothing around the house, he loves it when you wear Connor’s jacket, or if you were to let the Chloes style you.

Yearning, do they have a high sex drive?

Kamski is, to his core, a secular man. He’s never been the type to deny or to downplay the desires of his flesh, and as someone who sees himself as something of a god-like figure in this world, it’s only fair that he indulges in all the most refined pleasures life has to offer. And by extension, he likely sees Connor as something of a disciple to him and would want to show the fledgling deviant all the benefits of indulging in human desire.

Connor, as a new deviant, can’t help but be at the mercy of his own irrational desires. While he is allowed far more freedom to come and go and live an independent life than you have, he would never want to search out another partner sexually. Even if Kamski were to suggest matching Connor with his own personal Chloe, it’s unlikely Connor would feel the same intensity and attraction he feels with you two.

Zzzz, how fast will they fall asleep after sex?

Given his admirable work ethic, Kamski is something of an insomniac. He is no stranger to pulling allnighters, pushing past drowsiness in the name of progress. Because of this, he’s not too skilled at lulling himself to sleep. It’s possible either to see curling up with another warm body helpful to relax Kamski and is just the trick to help him drift off. Alternatively, he might just not be much of a sound sleeper, and even if you and Connor are curled up at his sides, Kamski will be tossing and turning well into the night.

Connor likely would want to stay awake for a little while after sex. He enjoys the way your warm body still clings to his body. Even in slumber, he treasures the way your sleeping body is so precious and tranquil, something for only him to enjoy.

(also, the talented people over at @detroitbecomeyandere have a lot of Somnophilia content featuring Connor. If you’re interested, give them a follow. They deserve it)

[thevalleyisjolly]

Thinking about alternate character classes lately, and I’m always thinking about A Crown of Candy at any given point in time, so without further ado, for your consideration:

Wizard!Theo, except that he’s the only wizard ever with a positive Strength modifier because that would be hilarious.  Wizard!Theo, who learned more from Lazuli than anyone knew, whose magic isn’t loud or flashy but spell notes hidden in a false prayer book, a soft glow on the tips of his paws and a muttered breath as one of the princesses falls from the top of the staircase again only to land on their feet, as softly as a feather.  In this world, he’s officially the royal tutor, because there are things that Caramelinda doesn’t know, but she does know what Lazuli taught him and she knows where his loyalties lie and she knows that one day, one day the spark she can see in Ruby’s eyes will need a teacher but will more importantly need a protector.  And to the princesses, to the rest of the court, to the world, he’s a slightly gullible, rather awkward tutor who stands on ceremony far too much, and they laugh at him and his silly little sprinkle pet and isn’t he a bit of a large goon?  Even Amethar forgets, every now and then, what he’s seen Theo do on a battlefield, to a battlefield, because as awkward as his social skills may be, Theo is committed to the part and he plays it well.  In any lifetime, in any world, Theo loves his people and he’ll do what he has to for them.

Bonus subclass: School of Abjuration obviously, this squishy gummy bear has one mission, and that’s to protect people.

Rogue!Lapin, because obviously.  Rogue!Lapin, who never summoned the Sugar Plum Fairy, who smiled and charmed and lied his way from the street to the service of a minor but respectable lord, and from there up and up the social strata until he is chamberlain to House Jawbreaker.  Duke Jawbreaker doesn’t bother much with him, but Spearia Mentha takes one look at Lapin, standing too straight and tall, the accent of the common mountain folk still seeping out at his edges, his eyes sharp and clever even when bowing and murmuring obedience, and she thinks “Hmm.”  And when her sweet baby has to go to Castle Candy as hostage, a safe and willing hostage, but a hostage nonetheless, she writes to dear sister Caramelinda and asks would it be alright if she sent someone from her own household, just to keep an eye on the boy, for her peace of mind as a mother?  Liam arrives at Castle Candy, sans pig, plus one very stuffy guardian, and Lapin Cadbury looks up at the towering spires and parapets of the castle, and a small, rare smile flashes across his face for just a second.

Bonus subclass: Mastermind is really the only way to go, isn’t it?

Sorcerer!Amethar, but listen, alright, my kingdom for Sorceror!Amethar who grows up with magic as rage flowing through his veins, whose wrath manifests not as bursts of concentrated battle fury, but in wild surges of strange and powerful magic.  There is magic in the blood and bones of House Rocks, an old and willful magic.  His sisters protected him, as much as they could, but still, there are whispers, more so once the young prince becomes the grieving king with the eyes of the world on him.  People mutter about the witch king of Candia, they say that he’s levelled armies with his sorcery, that he’s bewitched the Emperor Gustavo into friendship, that he’s dangerous and brings only death and destruction.  And it hurts, it does, not because he cares what other people think, but because they aren’t all wrong.  Look at him, the Unfallen, alive when so many have died.  It hurts that he has so much power singing in his blood, and he’s the one who’s powerless, who can’t be the protector, who must be the protected.  Why him?  Why not strong Rococoa, or brilliant Lazuli, or kind Citrina, or cunning Sapphria?  Why is he alive and not them, when he is the wildcard, the dangerous one, the last person who should be king?

Bonus subclass: I mean, it’s gotta be Wild Magic, no doubt about it.

Druid!Cumulous is another story that writes itself.  Druid!Cumulous still swears the same vows of dedication and protection to Candia’s magic, Candia’s secrets, and so Candia itself rises to acknowledge that.  It isn’t the red glow of the Hungry One that surrounds him when he fights, but the bright pink of the frosting sprites, the warm chocolate of the fudge brownies, the brilliant lemon-yellow of the river dragon’s scales, the slightest tint of sugar plum purple.  All spirits are fickle and unpredictable and dangerous, but they can recognize faith and they can appreciate service and they can reward what is freely given.  The Sugar Plum Fairy considers this one for a while.  She has no little pet bunny in this world, no servant to demand wishes from.  But fairies are jealous, too jealous.  Hearts and minds and souls, of course they should be hers, wholly hers, why wouldn’t they be, and for all the vastness of her realm, all her secrets and all her magic, there is something more to Candia than what is just in her.  So she lets this one be, and lays her trap for another prize, a bigger prize…

Bonus subclass: You could honestly make a good argument for Circle of the Shepherd or Circle of the Land, although Circle of the Moon is pretty great for more combat-focused war guys druids.

Warlock!Saccharina’s life is still a tragedy, because magic was only the most obvious thing that the nuns tried to beat out of her.  Warlock!Saccharina is not born with lightning in her fingers and a storm in her heart, but she is born with a strength and a will that the nuns despise.  In this world, Saccharina looks in the window, in the mirror, and she still sees a blue woman, a kind woman with a kind face, reaching out to her, comforting her when the nuns mistreat her, telling her wondrous stories and magical secrets.  In this world, the Rocks sisters, held in a false afterlife, stage a jailbreak.  Rococoa raises herself back to the living, cold with vengeance against the man who murdered her.  Citrina hitches up her skirts and hikes off to Vegetania, prepared to visit as many dreams and instigate as many supernatural miracles as she needs in order to reform the Church.  Sapphria laughs and winks and goes off to do something mysterious and terribly complex and probably very clever.  And Lazuli?  Lazuli goes to find her eldest niece, and to help her do something about the frankly terrible situation she’s in.  She is no spirit of the dead that a small exorcism by a provincial abbess can banish, but something new, something more.  And when Saccharina finally drowns the monastery, a grim smile on her face, it is with eyes and fingers that glow a brilliant, sharp blue.

Bonus subclass: Either Great Old One or Celestial, depending on how Lazuli fights her way back to the waking world.  Reaching out to the mortal world from the afterlife?  Probably Celestial.  Something strange and mysterious that’s never happened before in all of creation, and isn’t entirely comprehensible even to her?  Great Old One.

Barbarian!Jet grows up with so much rage inside her, but a rage for others, a fire for others.  It’s a rage that goes bone-deep, born of so much love and fear, because Jet Rocks may be sheltered and immature and naive, but one thing she does know, one of the earliest things she knows, is that the world is dangerous for people like Ruby, people like Pops, the world does not like people like Ruby and Pops, and as young as she is, she’s already heard how people whisper and seen how they point at Pops when his back is turned.  And if they found out about Ruby-  It’s a different rage that drives Barbarian!Jet, not a mindless battle frenzy, but love sharpened to the keenest focus, to protect, to guard.  In this world, and in every world, Jet Rocks loves her sister above all else, and will do anything to make sure she is safe.  Her parents worry, of course.  Caramelinda looks into her daughter’s eyes, sees hard steel and the heart of sacrifice, and she weeps when she looks into the mirror and sees the same, this is not the life she wanted for her.  Amethar understands.  He knows.  He knew the minute his daughters were placed into his arms for the first time, and the instinct to protect something so precious, precious beyond measure.  He just didn’t want his daughter to understand as well, not so soon, not so young.

Bonus subclass: Path of the Ancestral Guardian, I think, because Jet’s rage is rooted in and for her family.  Also, imagine the confusion and the angst the first time Jet summons past ancestors to fight with her in battle, and none of them include her aunts because they’re too busy raising hell elsewhere.

Bard!Ruby tumbles out of the cradle with a cheerful tongue and a clever mind, and Amethar has to stop himself from calling after Sapphria, because Ruby is so much like her, so nimble on her feet, so clever with her words.  But it’s Caramelinda that sees it first, how Ruby’s leaps and cartwheels hang just a little too long in the air, how Jet brightens and sharpens too fast after just a word from her.  And it’s Theo, of course it’s Theo, who catches Ruby and Jet trying to rob the cookie jar with a spectral, definitely magic, definitely arcane hand floating in the air, where did she even learn that, he doesn’t have that spell, this is bad, this is very, very bad.  Ruby’s more careful after that, after Mom’s lecture about how dangerous it is, and Pops just standing there, looking stern, nodding along to everything that Mom’s saying, not saying a word to the contrary.  Her magic is just for Jet now, her and Jet and nobody else, and she does a very good job of pretending she doesn’t know anything else, pretending like she doesn’t feel the thrum inside of her, pretending like something isn’t singing in her blood with every leap and twirl and handstand.  

Bonus subclass: College of Valour?  It gets that combat flavouring without being as specific as College of Swords, but I’m open to suggestions.

Warlock!Liam, and he is so young, so lonely, roaming the forests around Castle Manylicks, when he finds her or maybe she finds him.  Just a sweet little fairy who knows where to find the best seeds, the ones that have a little bit of magic in them, and here’s a lonely little boy who’s so interested in what she can show him!  And then of course, this isn’t just any lonely little boy, this is the son of Duke Jawbreaker, someone royal, someone important.  I’ll be your friend, she says, coy and sweet, a nice friend, not like your brothers.  I know lots of things, secret things, magic things, that I can show you.  Come with me, do you want to see something really neat?  Her magic is almost golden, almost Bulbian, with the slightest whiff of something rich and sticky and sweet and purple, and Liam’s only glad that he has a friend now, someone who’s nice to him, who’s interested in the same things, who remembers his name and doesn’t pick on him because he likes seeds more than swords.  Lonely children don’t need to be threatened or coerced, lonely children don’t need deals with the devil.  Lonely children just need a kind voice and warm approval and someone to show them affection, and the Sugar Plum Fairy knows just how to work with that.

Bonus subclass: Gonna diverge from Lapin here and go with Archfey as the warlock/patron relationship, because Liam isn’t in a position where he has to pretend that his powers come from the Bulb, so the SPF can lean into her feyness more.