#because we keep fishing and eating the oldest and biggest fish

[rxttenfish]

i find it so fucking funny how associated cephalopods are to eldritch horror and eldritch abominations and the unknowable universe when like

all of them that i can think of like to 5 years maximum, die immediately after fucking once, and one of the proposed reasons for how smart they are is that Everything In The Ocean Wants To Eat Them

like. theyre being beat out by jellyfish, who do not even have brains, as a significant chunk of jellyfish species can just. turn back the clock. make themselves young again. nbd.

[lillian-nator]

please do more backyard au hcs this sounds lovely

PEOPLE AND AGES - Tommy (5) Kindergarten - Techno (11) 6th grade - wilbur (18) Senior - Tubbo (4) Kindergarten - Schlatt (19) Just Graduated, goes to Community college - SapNap (7) First grade - Punz (13) 7th grade - Dream (12) 8th grade - Gogy (15) Sophomore - Ranboo (6) Kindergarten - Fundy (15) Freshman - Niki (16) junior - Puffy (17) Senior - Purpled (5) Kindergarten - Big Q (14) 8th grade - Karl (13) 7th grade ----------------------- SPECIES AND RELATIONSHIPS (put into friend groups) - Tubbo (Ram, Schlatt's son) - Tommy (Racoon) - Ranboo (enderman, kind of a street kid) - Purpled (Purple Sheep, Dream and Puffy's younger brother) - SapNap (Demon, Bad's son, Punz's baby brother)

- Techno (Piglin) - Dream (Ram, Puffy's younger brother) - Punz (demon) - Gogy  (Mooshroom) - Big Q (Duck) - Karl (Parrot hybrid)

- Wilbur (Blue Jay) - Schlatt (Ram) - Puffy (sheep - Schlatt's cousin) - Niki (fish? mermaid?) - Fundy (Fox) ----------------------- I think that Philza minecraft just slowly keeps finding kids in his backyard, and he slowly grows very attached to all of them Just like every afternoon his backyard is FLOODED with kids And he doesn’t understand why he’s the house everyone goes to, but he’ll feed them He just slowly finds himself being really endeared by each of them ------------------- And before he knows it, Phil’s warning SapNap and Ranboo away from the water, and balancing Purpled and Tommy on his hips And he knows all their allergies And all their favorite foods And he’s keeping track of the high schoolers grades, bringing Dream, punz, and techno to their games  ----------------- CARPOOL SOCCER MOM Mr. Philza Minecraft --------------------- Dream: Basketball Punz: Football Techno: Baseball Puffy: Softball Small children: Baby Soccer -------------------------- - Phil keeps track of all of boys'  games and practices. Because goddamn it, these kids deserve some sort of parental guidance - Dream, purpled, and Puffy don’t have present parents - Puffy had to step up to the plate - Ranboo’s a street kid - No one really knows if he has anyone - Bad just chilling in hell ---------------------------- Schlatt is really working himself thin, but he tries hard, he really does And everyone can see how much he loves Tubbo Sometimes Phil will wake up and see schlatt passed out on their couch. He got off at midnight But as soon as he gets home from work, Tubbo is immediately in his Dad’s arms Schlatt animatedly talking to the boy But you can just see how much love he has for his boy He’s just a bit too young to bare the burden alone ------------------------------ And the thing is, is that all of these kids are so like, independent Like Phil just needs to feed them And tend to the youngest ones every so often ------------------------------- I think it’s like musical chairs To see who’s sleeping at Phil’s house in the morning Like - who’s on the couch? An air mattress? Guest bed? Sharing a room with one of his kids? All of the small children like to pile around SapNap, who is also a small child, cause he’s warm Punz also always has children flocking him ------------------------------- Punz is also that teen who throws the kids in the pool he cant go into the water himself, prefering to lay on the grass and in the sun, but he does love just chucking kids in ------------------------------- Phil drives a beat up mini van. It’s baby blue It's always filled to the brim with passengers very dirty many crumbs has balls just thrown in it all the time Footballs, basketballs, baseballs, soccer balls it fucking smells, we all know it does Phil owns like 4 of those kid car seats despite only having one kid in that age group ---------------------------- Also if you couldn't tell Niki basically lives in the pool she's a fish hybrid so its a salt water pool instead of chlorine because its better for Niki --------------------------- Tommy, Tubbo, purpled, Ranboo, and SapNap play baby soccer its the best part of this au It’s so adorable, and Tommy picks at flowers the entire time Sometimes. Ranboo will come and entertain him for a little. Try and get him back in the game. He gives up when Tommy sits down tho Ranboo will more often then not join Tommy cause mmmm grass Tubbo is insanely competitive as a little kid we been knew though When he gets older Tommy gets really into it But as a baby He just chases bugs Plus he’s a raccoon hybrid, so shiny ------------------------ HE HOARDS SHIT UNDER HIS BED IS A MESS he as in fucking baby racoon Tommy whats the word for baby racoon small baby kit Phil 1000% calls him kit BABY RAMS ARE CALLED BUCKS FUCKING EVERYONE CALLS TUBBO "BUCK" THATS SO CUTE IM LOSING MY SHIT Things go lost? Go check tommys room Bermuda Triangle of a bedroom Very much like - Phil has to have a talk with him about it And he’s like “ I know you feel like you have to take them Kit, but they’re not yours” “If you want it, just ask me and I’m

sure we can figure something out.” Tommy also loses interest as soon as he gains it tho Tommy chitters at them They nod liek they understand and go “Uh huh, sounds mighty interesting Kit,” And then they pick him and let him climb around them -------------------------------- So much rough housing like SO much they're hybrids man Tommy also teethes ok. Chews on shit when his canines grow in so does Techno, and SapNap, and Punz (Punz and Techno's canines already grew in though, but they still chew on shit) The rams Rub their heads against stuff Head Itchy ------------------------------- A lot of Phil’s days off are just spent by the babies, just who are growing in hybrid traits He scratches Tubbo, sapnaps, and Puroled heads They’re all growing in horns Gives Tommy things to chew on Purpled. Never gets full horns. They are always little stubs just barely sticking out of his hair. His ears looks more human than ram too. Just for some reason never really grew into his hybrid traits And purple eyes He gets so upset about it too, when Tubbos horns outgrow his, because he’s older He’s a bit different. But it’s like being brunette in a family of blondes. It’s not unheard of He just is tearing up and Phil is just like “oh Bud, come ‘ere” They're like 8 And Tommy just gives Purpled the biggest hug, because Tommy is a sweetheart as a kid ------------------- I think that even the older kids wrestle Like obviously Dream, Techno and the rest of the middle school gang do Because they’re so fucking competitive Dream is so quick to just. Grab someone and wrestle them to the floor No warning But like, you’ll catch Wilbur and Schlatt jumping at each other Or Wilbur throwing Fundy over his shoulder Or anyone just man handling gogy ------------------- Phil gets to a point where he calls them all his kids And asks where they are when they aren’t At his house ------------------------ Puffy bringing them (Dream and Purpled) over after school. They go outside and play. Puffy sighs and collapses at the dining table. Phil silently hands her a coffee. “I’ll keep em busy” he says “you get some homework done” She looks up, and puts her head in her hand, “Dream has basketball practice in an hour” Phil just pats  her on the back. “I got it.” ----------------- Also let’s talk about how much food Phil needs to buy Like even if it’s just lunch That’s like 15 growing boys He can afford it, He just has to watch out for allergies He buys so many fucking snacks man Whole damn store He goes through like crates of those little chip variety packs Tubbo only likes the crunchy Cheetos Tommy likes barbecue Niki likes salt and vinegar Punz likes Doritos He knows which ones they all like I’m just imagining Phil calling out for the kids And they’re like lining out of the kitchen Oldest to youngest so that Phil can help the little ones They can eat anywhere in the yard, but Ohil has the little ones eat at the picnic table They’re all dripping wet from coming out of the pool, and he needs to make sure they eat their fruit and popsicles, they have tons of popsicles. ------------------ Phil totally takes Dad tax Like a chip from every plate And a tatertot from each breakfast very dad of him to do ------------------- Not not Phil kissing each of their foreheads goodbye And “drive safe” And “have a good day" ------------------ He’ll still pick up Texhno And Dream and Punz, right by the armpits And tucks them into bed ----------------- Tommy when he gets wet He loves swimming but the poor baby: his fur It’s hard to get him in the water but once he’s in it’s hard to get him out Because he feels all heavy and sticky afterwards ------------------ Adventures in the woods TOMMY IN HID NATURAL HABITAT Small boy makes hidey hole You may be asking Does. Does Tommy crunch on the leaves He does Like on ever y single one Carefully -------------------- All of the little kids And even technos group Just bonk heads Because of the goats They all just do it Sometimes softly Sometimes roughly Techno always does it roughly tho Rough houser Dream doesn’t mind Makes it feel like he has a

herd Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates - Small boy And puffy has outgrown it But a young piglin brute? Perfect playmate. ------------------------- AND THATS THE AU YOU'RE WELCOME

[jelly-belly-fish]

I wrote another story. My friends really wanted me to post this one, so here it is. Be warned, it has my own headcanons in it too.

TW: Cursing, Bullying

The First Meeting, Pt. 1

“C’mon, ‘Dreadgory’! Hurry up!” Xavier yelled at the boy.

“I-I’m coming,” Gregory sweetly stammered in response to his fellow classmate.

Giving the Glamrock Freddy plush he was holding a final squeeze, Gregory placed the bear plush back down on the gift shop shelf. He wanted to buy it so bad, but guess it’ll have to wait until later.

“I’ll come back for you,” he cooed softly, giving the plush a soft pat on the head, “I promise.”

The plush only gave silence as a response. Just the happy little expression sewn on its face. Gregory smiled softly back at the empty response.

“C’mon, sissy!” Gregory heard Jaxon call out to him next, “The meet and greets are starting soon! We don’t want to be late because of your slow ass!”

“Language...” Gregory whispered as he ran over to his group of friends. They all slouched and sat around the giant fountain near the grand entrance of the PizzaPlex. There were four of them: Xavier, Jaxon, Zachary, and Ian.

Xavier was a ginger with an undershave haircut. It was both smooth and spiky at the same time. Gregory always thought that the fashion trend of the boy was too mature for his age, but he didn’t question the leather-jacket-wearing 4th grader, less he wanted a bruised jaw again like last time.

Jaxon was the oldest fourth grader in Gregory’s class. With his almost-white-blonde hair and being the fastest one in gym class, he was a crush for every girl in their grade. Gregory couldn’t think of one girl who didn’t want to spend reading time with him or trade food with him at lunch. Anything to get his attention.

Zachary was probably the nicest to Gregory. Then again, that’s not saying much given how many times he dunk Gregory into sinks and dumped food all over the boy. The African American boy wore a white, zip up hoodie and blue shorts. Zachary stuck his tongue out at Gregory as he approached.

Last there was Ian. He always wore black and blue and had green eyes that always seemed like they were emotionally dead. He laughed at the most random things and told terrible jokes. And if Gregory didn’t laugh, he always got what was coming to him...

“Took you long enough, egghead!” Xavier hissed as the boys started to get up from their resting positions, “I swear if we miss these events, I’ll—“

“Xavier, shut your face!” Zachary sneered, “The more you complain to Gregory, the higher chance we’ll miss the shows! C’mon!”

As the boys started making their way to the escalators, Gregory felt a tight grip on his arm. He nervously turned to see Xavier squeezing his arm. Gregory gave Xavier a fearful look.

“This isn’t over, Evans...” Xavier hissed, thrashing Gregory’s arm down before going to join the others.

Gregory shook his head quietly, kneading his arm.

“They’re my friends...” Gregory reassured himself. Then he started to follow the group of boys up to the other parts of the PizzaPlex.

XXX

“Does everyone have their tickets?” Jaxon inquired the group as they approached the Green Rooms.

Ian giggled slightly.

“I don’t have any tickets! I’m gonna see Moondrop!”

“Seems like you guys would get along...all creepy and tell weird jokes...” mumbled Gregory under his breath, looking at the glossy, tiled floor.

“You got something to say, Dreadgory?!” Ian snapped as he grabbed the boy’s shirt collar, pulling him in close.

“You need to be nice to us, Evans,” Jaxon snarled, “you don’t want to be a crybaby who plays by himself at recess again, do ya!?”

Gregory’s heart pounded fast. He could feel the tension in the air as Ian tightened his grip on his shirt, still glaring at him with those dull green eyes.

“I-I’m sorry...” Gregory’s eyes started to sting. His brown eyes were now squeezed tight as he prepared for their punches.

Gregory didn’t get any punches, but the floor greeted him with a harsh slap as he fell onto it. His breathing hitched as Gregory shakily got onto his hands and knees. Head still low, Gregory looked back up at his group of friends. They all towered over him now.

“We’ll let you off this time, shorty...” Jaxon sneered, “It is your birthday after all.”

Ian broke out in hysterical laughter.

“Awww look at da little baby! Is he going to cry?!”

The rest of the boys started to snicker along. It was true, Gregory was going to cry.

Gregory could feel tears start to drip from his eyes. He tried to stay strong, but he could feel himself cracking.

“C’mon guys, let’s leave the birthday boy to his birthday tears!” Xavier cackled.

They all started to leave, talking amongst themselves about what animatronic they were going to see. Jaxon to Roxanne Wolf, Xavier to Montgomery Gator, Zachary to Glamrock Chica, and Ian to Moondrop.

The only one left was the main star himself: Glamrock Freddy.

He was for the birthday boy.

He was the only thing Gregory was looking forward to seeing on his birthday. The only thing to make his day better. Gregory looked down at the blue and white Fazbear Entertainment ticket in his tiny hands. Gregory then held a small smile on his face. Wiping away his tears, Gregory stood up and made his way to the Green Room of the one and only Freddy Fazbear.

His heart started jogging in his chest again. He was both excited and scared at the same time. He wasn’t the biggest fan of animatronics, but there was something about Glamrock Freddy that he loved so much. His kind demeanor, the way he cared about every child he met, his powerful vocal chords when he spoke and sung, he was like everyone’s dad. Everyone’s weird, robotic, bear dad.

As Gregory approached the green room for Freddy, he saw a red curtain draped in front of it. His pulse quickened. Why were the curtains closed? Picking up his pace, Gregory ran to the front of the curtain. There was a white sign in front of the sparkly, red curtain. Gregory’s heart dropped to his stomach.

“OUT OF ORDER.”

No.

No!

NO!

NO! NO! NO!

Gregory’s teeth gritted together. He sucked air through his teeth as tears poured from his eyes.

This had to be fake. It couldn’t be real.

Gregory could sense the teasing and humiliation coming already if the other boys founded him like this. Founded the only dream he had for today to be crushed.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

He just wanted to hide away forever.

Without even thinking, Gregory dashed into the curtains and into the room behind.

It was a dark room. The only light was the little sliver coming from the cut between the two curtains. Not seeing anything around him, Gregory fell onto his face. A pained grunt slipped past his lips as his face squished into the firm, velvety carpet.

That was the final straw for him.

Curling up on the floor, Gregory hiccuped the smallest of sobs. He laid there for awhile, silently crying over his birthday being ruined.

“It’s not fair...” Gregory pulled himself into a tighter ball, “It’s not fair, it’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair?” A mocking tone asked behind the boy.

Gregory snapped up and scuttled backwards.

In the darkness, the only light being their phone flashlights, were Xavier, Jaxon, and Zachary.

They were all different however, and certainly not for the better. They were all wearing masks of the characters they all went to see. There were not visible eyes in the masks, making them look like empty voids in the darkness. They stared at him eerily, sending chills down Gregory’s spine.

“Did the baby boy not get what he wanted this year for his birthday?” Xavier questioned further. “Did he want to be forgotten?”

Gregory shook his head quickly. No...

“You know, Xavier,” Jaxon said, in a overly exaggerated thinking pose, “I heard there’s something special about these animatronics...especially Freddy...”

Gregory didn’t like where this was going. He slowly started to scoot back.

“Freddy has a special way to treat sad birthday kids!” Jaxon laughed. “He EATS them!”

“Wh-Wha...” Was all a shaken Gregory was able to say before getting snatched up by the bullies.

“And we gotta keep the bear happy and STUFFED, now don’t we Gregory?”

They flashed their lights onto the animatronic who was hiding, decommissioned in the shadows of the room.

Gregory kicked and screamed for them to let him go.

“You did this to yourself, runt,” Jaxon warned, speaking through his Roxanne mask’s wolffish grin, “You just HAD to be upset on your birthday!”

As Gregory continued to cry out louder now, Jaxon clamped a hand over the boy’s mouth, muffling his screams.

Zachary jumped on top of the small stage that Glamrock Freddy stood on. He felt around the animatronic’s chest and stomach like he was searching for something.

“Hey Jax!” He called out over Gregory’s muffled cries, “How do you open this?”

“Press his bowtie, stupid! Just like how my mom showed us!” Jaxon scoffed, struggling to keep a grip on Gregory’s squirming torso. Xavier did his best to control Gregory’s legs.

With a click and a hiss, the bear’s broad chest opened. With only the phone lights as his guide, Gregory stopped struggling for a bit and stared at the now opened chest. In the harsh lighting mixed with complete darkness, the chest cavity of the animatronic looked like a dark void...ready to swallow Gregory whole.

Gregory thrashed about even more now, like a fish trapped in a net. He wanted to cry and scream for them to stop, but Jaxon’s hand only made him make suppressed yelps.

They brought him closer...and closer....

Finally, with a good and quick shove, Gregory was forced into the tight darkness. Gregory quickly turned his head around to see the opening of the chest cavity snap close behind him. Gregory was now soaked in enclosed darkness.

“NO!” He cried.

Gregory pressed himself against the sealed entrance. Sweat made his hands clammy as he pounded against the plastic wall. Tears flooded his eyes as he anxiously knocked against the fake material.

“PLEASE LET ME OUT!!” He begged, choking between sobs, “PLEE-EEASE!!”

His cries only got muffled chuckles in response. Those chuckles made Gregory grasp onto reality. A silent fearful look took over Gregory’s tear stained, sweat covered face.

“Listen to him, the fuckin’ idiot...” A softened Xavier cackled.

“Oh, if only Ian was here,” Jaxon wheezed, “He would be laughing his ass off right now...”

Gregory’s good heart wanted to remind them of their language, but he forced himself to stay silent. That didn’t stop his tears from flooding though. Hitched breaths were sucked in through his teeth.

“Guys... I think he’s been in there long enough,” Zachary whispered, “I don’t want to get in trouble with my dad about this.”

“Oh shut up, Zack..” Xavier snapped, “The little bitch just needs to learn that him crying is so annoying..”

“Yeah,” Jaxon agreed, “No wonder no one is friends with him.”

Gregory’s heart froze. The dreaded reality finally sat in. The one he fought so hard to not accept. Tears continued to flow as he leaned against the plastic wall, sobs ripping from his throat.

Gregory truly was all alone in this world.

As he sat there, bawling his eyes out in the darkness, Gregory couldn’t help but feel something, or someone, watching him. Watching him...and watching the bullies outside his tomb. He felt the omnipresent stare on him. It felt angry. It felt judgmental. It felt...protective.

Gregory looked around the tight space. There was no room for anyone else to be in here. Heck, there was barely enough room for him to be in here. His knees ached with cramps. His feet were pressed against the metal wall behind him. Gregory wanted out...and he wanted out now. And he wanted the feeling of being watched to go away too. It certainly wasn’t helping.

Despite his silent pleas, Gregory continued to stay in that chest cavity, and the feeling of being watched only got worse.

“C’mon guys,” Jaxon sarcastically laughed, “Let’s leave the little birthday boy to his little gift from us. I’m sure he’ll want to be alone to enjoy it alllll to himself.”

That one sentence brought back the fear and dread Gregory had only mere moments ago.

“WAIT!!” Gregory shrieked, “YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME IN HERE!!”

He continued to knock and slam his hands hands against the plastic wall. They seriously couldn’t be leaving him here...they couldn’t be...

“Oh, I think he’s loving it so far,” a much more distant Jaxon called out, “Have fun in there, Dreadgory!”

A burst of the boys’ laughter erupted again, suddenly being even more muffled by a curtain swooshing. Soon, the laughter faded away, only leaving Gregory in complete darkness. Complete, eerie darkness. The only sounds were Gregory’s cries and pleas, hopelessly trying to get their attention, to make them come and get him out of this stupid chest cavity. All he got in response was his cries and knocks echoing in the tight space...

After what seemed like forever of begging and tears, Gregory’s screams dialed down to soft whimpers. He hugged his knees and held them up to his chest. Gregory’s body was soaked in sweat. His forehead was beaded with the salty liquid. The dark air and his clothes were now dampen from the sweat and his tears. Still in utter darkness, Gregory continued to sob quietly, thinking of what just happened. Were his friends right? Did he really deserve this?

The little birthday boy sighed, wiping his tears from his eyes.

“Maybe they’re right...” he croaked, “M-Maybe I...I do deserve this..”

Gregory then buried his face into his knees, his eyes beginning to sting again.

“I’m all alone...” he shuttered, “Tr-Trapped in here... forever.”

“You’re not alone.”

Gregory’s head shot up. His heart began to pound quickly again. He looked around, trying to find the source of the voice.

“Who...” Gregory panicked, “Who’s there?!”

“Do not be afraid, little one,” the voice softly continued, “I’d never hurt you.”

The voice...it was rumbled like thunder and as gruff as rusty metal, but it was gentle and quiet as a butterfly. And most of all, it sounded familiar.

“Gl-Glamrock Fre—“ Gregory started, only to be interrupted again.

“Let’s make this more comfortable,” the voice proposed, “They’re gone now, so it’s safe to come out.”

There was a soft click outside. A click of a button? Gregory’s heart fluttered. Could this really be him? There was a hiss and more clicks. Gregory could feel cool and new air flush against his face. The chest cavity was now open.

Part 2 coming very soon!

[gamer-logic]

The States and 2P America

So the 2ps get to the 1p world after making a truce with their counterparts and escaping their collapsing world where they're the only survivors. They then proceed to live with their 1ps in a crazy roommate sort-of situation. The only problem is that when Allen gets to Alfred's house it's this huge mansion and one of the states opens the door making him very confused as he never had states of his own and his idiotic 1p is the father of 50 kids!

"What the *beep* Porkchop?! Since do you have fifty little brats runnin’ around?!"

Alfred gives him a full rundown on finding/raising the states and then proceeds to draft him into babysitting! At first, Allen tried to ignore them but then faces the painful realization that leaving 50 states alone is never a good idea. After finally rounding up everyone he could find and freeing the thirteen (most responsible being Delaware and Virginia) from being trapped in the barn by their younger siblings, he does a headcount.

Allen: Okay one, two, three.....45. We're missing five! Where's Nevada, Hawaii, Alaska, Texas, and New Mexico?

Random state raises their hand: I think Nevada's in Vegas gambling again. He goes there a lot to triple his allowance!

Another state: I remember Texas said something about rodeos and bull riding all the way to Dallas. Also, Alaska and Hawaii left a note saying something about hanging out with New Mexico and Tony in Roswell!

Allen: But we're in D.C.! How did they get all the way over there in 3 hours?! *States shrug while Allen looks close to screaming into the void* Okay, everyone into the bus! We're going to get your siblings!

Cue cross country road-trip like the hangover where, after hours of getting lost in Disney Land, Delaware’s nagging about being the oldest and most mature much to Massachusetts chagrin because he’s clearly got better colleges, getting into a dance contest in Maine, keeping Arizona from getting stuck in the Grand Canyon for the hundredth time, Wisconsin participating in a cheese eating contest, Maine cooking seafood, Georgia making 30 peach cobblers, Colorado making a giant igloo, Washington and Oregon's hippie phases making a return, playing hockey in Minnesota, fishing Michigan out of the great lakes, New Jersey getting stalked by the Jersey Devil who’s like that stray cat that keeps following you around, keeping New York from starting a fight at Yankee’s game, gator wrestling in the Florida everglades, getting dressed for Mardi Gras in Lousianna, getting lost in Iowa’s biggest corn maze, the Dakota twins almost killing the Carolinas for trying to graffiti Mt. Rushmore (there’s a bit of a twin rivalry), avoiding the secret service less they get caught and ratted out to Alfred, seeing Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and trying to keep Alabama from sticking his head in it on a dare, crossing the Mississippi, running from rodeo clowns that Tennessee angered after he picked a fight with them for insulting his country music, finally picking up Texas with his new Rodeo bull-riding championship belt and tying him up with his own lasso, various misadventures, including recuing Idaho from an accidental marriage, in Vegas that will stay in Vegas, finding/grounding Nevada from gambling after he almost lost 50 grand and Wyoming to a circus, they finally arrive in Roswell.

Allen, too tired to care at this point: Alright! Who's this Tony New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska said they we're with?

Maryland: He's Dad's cool alien friend from 1947. New Mexico likes hanging out with him in his spaceship playing pranks on Britain and the other nations!

Allen hardly believes her but is too tired to care at this point: A-Alien? Sure, why not?! Let’s just go get them! Maybe we’ll run into Nessie too!

Iowa whispering to Ohio: But isn’t Nessie in Scotland?

Ohio: *shrugs*

After falling into a series of booby traps a la Alaska, they finally track down Tony’s ship in Alaska and find the three playing video games with Tony. It finally registers in Allen’s mind that there’s a real freakin’ alien in front of him playing Mario Kart.

Allen: T-t-that’s an….

State: Yep!

Allen: And he’s playing video games….

States: Yep!

Allen, not able to handle this anymore: *faints*

After a not so long drive back to D.C. courtesy of New Jersey’s driving, Getting KFC in Kentucky for supper with vegan salad for Allen and irritating said state in the process, and almost forgetting Rhode Island, they finally make it bake to D.C. and settle Allen down on the couch, gathering around him to watch a Marvel marathon acting like the innocent little angels they’re not. They also duct tape California’s mouth shut and tie her up with Texas’ lasso because she wouldn’t stop complaining about watching her newest one instead. Alfred finally arrives home from a meeting in Berlin around the time they finish Doctor Strange and sees Allen crashed on the couch with the states around him.

Alfred: So did you have a good time with Uncle Allen?

States: We sure did!

Wisconsin bragging about his trophy made entirely of cheese: I’m the king of cheese once again!

Alfred: Great! Now it’s off to bed everyone!

States: Aww! But we wanted to stay up and play with Uncle Allen!

Alfred: No buts, you can play again tomorrow! Now off to bed!

The states start trudging up to their rooms with California finally being freed. Georgia putting a blanket over Allen, Hawaii putting a hibiscus print pillow under his head, and Maryland putting a note on the end table as they go out. Allen finally wakes up and Alfred, watching the rest of the marathon notices.

Alfred: You were awesome with them dude! I’m going to let you babysit from now on!

Allen: *Screams and faints again*

Alfred: Heh! He’s so excited! *Munches on popcorn*

The next morning Allen wakes up and reads the note: “Thanks for taking care of all of us today! We had a lot of fun, Uncle Allen! From the states. P.S. You were super cool playing baseball at Yankee stadium! Teach us sometime? Also, there's a salad for you in the fridge! :)"

He crumbles the note and puts it in his jacket trying not to break his tough-guy persona. But later when no one looking, he takes it out with a small smile and thinks these brats aren’t so bad after all.

Eventually, they grew on him and Allen comes to consider the all the states like his own secretly loving it when they call him Uncle Allen. They may be little gremlins but his gremlins and if you so much as touch one hair on their head you’ll get a face full of his nailed bat!

Just another day in the Jones’ household!

Meanwhile In Canada:

James is babysitting the provinces for Mathew and is currently in drill sergeant mode pacing in front of the nervous, with the exception of Quebec who's extremely excited, lined-up provinces. Kumajiro (cub) and Kuma (adult) are just chilling and watching them with whistles around their necks and cute little maple leaf hats courtesy of British Columbia.

James: All right, listen up! I’m going to teach you all how to rough it and survive out in the wilderness! Now, who knows how to start a fire?

All the provinces turn to stare at Manitoba.

Manitoba: Oh, come on! I set fire to Papa’s flannel shirt collection one time!

James: Okaaaaay ignoring that, everybody get into groups of two and I’ll assign jobs!

Nova Scotia raises her hand: But there’s thirteen of us!

James: Fine then, eenie meenie miny mo… *Points to Prince Edward Island* you! Prissy pants boy you're with me! We’re gathering firewood!

P.E.I. looking up from his mirror: Excuse me!? I’m not gonna get these designer clothes dirty picking up filthy wood!

James *facepalms*: Give me that! *Proceeds to chuck the mirror into the lake much to P.E.I’s horror and Ontario’s glee!*

(They don't get along because of P.E.I.’s arrogant personality and constant declaring himself in charge despite Ontario being the oldest and having the capital).

James: We’re out here to survive off the land which means no cell phones, no internet, and definitely NO BEAUTY PRODUCTS. NOW IS THAT CLEAR?!

Provinces: Sir, yes sir!

James being the big softie that he is but won't admit: Good! Now we meet back here by sunset and we’ll roast marshmallows!

Everyone hurries and gets on with their jobs with Alberta somehow ending up stuck in a tree and harassed by woodpeckers and Yukon and Saskatchewan being the most successful by communicating with/befriending a family of beavers that help them build a shelter. By the end of the day, James also feels a sense of fatherly protectiveness and pride over the provinces like Allen. he also secretly loves it when they call him Uncle James. Nunavut also manages to find bigfoot who helps gather food much to James’ shock!

[raulfernandez]

Can you tell me about the stray kids members? :-]

Yes definitley can 😌😌😌

Okay first up we have Aussie Bang Chan. The most amazing leader you'll ever find. He writes and produces most of their songs, together with Changbin and Han as 3Racha but also Vocalist/Dancer/Rapper. Chan is born in 1997 and the oldest of them, trained for about 8 years and has a really cute habit of calling his members "the kids". He is really sweet and always tries to be there for his members, cause he said "they saved him" and does weekly live streams which lead to some people calling him stays therapist. Also he is friends with like the whole kpop industry lol and his rolemodel is Christiano Ronaldo for some reason...

Then we got Lee Know, born in 1998, dad of 3 cats, might be in love with Han, who knows, listed as dancer but also rapper/vocalist. 4th gen fish boy who doesn't know how to swim, but somehow the most normal member, or atleast the one with the most normal past lol apart from the fact that he was once on some National Geographics TV thing where he said that he wants to be a dance and the commentator went "Everyone of these hopefulls could be the next big thing in kpop", which is iconic to this day. He may seem cold and ignorant but his heart is freaking soft, he donates to many organisations to save kids and also animals.

Then we got my boy Changbin. Rapper, Vocalist and Producer. He is the fastest rapper in the industry and everybody who tells you different is straight up lying cause it's literally statistically proven. I'd say he's the best rapper cause he got good flow, his voice is steady and sounds amazing but some people might say otherwise so mhmm... One of his iconic lines "I love dark", and he always tries to seem like the dark rapper but can't sleep without his plushie. He's the smallest member with 167cm. He was also on 'King of masked Singer' (THAT PERFORMANCE!!!)

Then Hyunjin, the one who got called 'Prince' by his classmates, because it's literally true, just look at him, this man is the most talented person ever. Born in 2000, he is their Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist and Visual, he's also really good at writing lyrics and likes to draw, he designed the cover art for their latest single. We like to count him as part of Aussie line because he's english is adorable and he has a big Australian accent. The only tall member with 179cm. At one point he almost joined a religious cult on accident. After over 4 months he finally came back last week with his cover dance of 'Play With Fire' which he choreographed himself.

Now we got Maknae line, starting with Han Jisung, born on September 14th 2000, he likes to use that on Felix, who is a day younger than him, even if they still haven't figured out which one is actually older if you consider time zones. Rapper, Vocalist and Producer, the third part of 3Racha, who likes to doodle, 4th gen ace. He's born in Korea but somehow his members still think his Hometown is Malaysia because he lived and studied there. He was also on 'King of masked Singer' and his Nickname by his members is 'Squirrel' because he likes to stuff his cheeks with food when he eats. Predebut he had an accident with an alligator where he nearly died lol.

Then Felix, aka Sunshine, the other part of original aussie line, born on September 15th, a day younger than Han. Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist, can play the piano, Voice goes from deep af to high pitched, can also make mosquito sounds, that's what I call variety. Felix knows Taekwondo and his face doesn't really fit the super deep voice lol (Funfact, Felix shares his birthday with Day6 Jae.) He also donates to "Save the Children" monthly and since he was young.

The third part of "born in September 2000 line", Seungmin, their Vocalist. He is one of the best English speakers in the group, even tho he only learned it when he lived in LA for 3 months in 4th grade but we consider him part of Aussie line now. He went to the same high school as Chan, but I don't think they knew eachother then. His role models are Day6, he is their biggest fan and they acknowledged him as official president of their Fandom. He really likes photography and is a big fan of animals. When he was younger a helicopter crashed into his apartment building while he was brushing his teeth and he only realised it after he left the bathroom.

And last but not least, Maknae on Top I.N. Vocalist, born in 2001. He can play the piano and his special ability is singing trot. He was a child model when he was 7, his favorite color is hot pink and his role model Bruno Mars. He likes kids so if he wasn't in Stray Kids he'd be a elementary school teacher. His MBTI type results keep changing. He almost joined the religious cult together with Hyunjin.

Stray Kids are a fully self produced group, Chan choose the members himself and made it work, he helped all of them improve and he said it once in an interview, it was fate. They were meant to be. They produce their own songs, write the lyrics, even do some of the choreographies themselves and by now even their cover art. Even if they are under one of the big 3 companies, JYP (fuck jyp), their fandom promotes them better than JYP does, and some of them (especially Chan and Felix) are on social media platforms, constantly stalking their fandom and we still get scared everytime one of them knows about something that happened on like twitter or tiktok. Their fandom is one of the gayest you'll ever find in Kpop and recently we got called furries because Skz's song "Wolfgang" has a part where they fucking bark (but the song is really good!!)

Our fandom name is 'Stay' and the like slogan is "Stray Kids everywhere all around the world, you make Stray Kids Stay"

Anyways, that's Stray Kids from my perspective :D

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[san-station]

A Quiet Place AU / ATEEZ (Post-apocalyptic)

Chapter 6

↝Word count: 3.6k

Description: In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they've heard about months ago.

Pairing: San x OC

WARNING: mention of death, depression, cursing.

・・・・・・・・

With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere.

It’s pretty odd to say that after Misuk’s death, the #439 day began as a peaceful day. That Monday Mingi, Wooyoung and Yeosang walked around the periphery recollecting some vegetables that were on our garden behind the old building, I joined a couple hours later just grabbed some fruits and keep an eye on the boys. We talked about how vegetables tasted better than ever and Mingi tried to figure out if the reason was some kind of radioactive answer. Wooyoung tried to hold his sharp laugh eating tons of strawberries, they tained his teeth red for six hours. We also found two raccoon bodies smashed in the middle of the tomatoes, so we figured we had to be more careful outside the building to prepare the runaway. Meanwhile, Yeosang and I recollected some carrots and oranges, the tension between us was visible, we made eye contact three times and the three times I almost growled at him, still mad about last night. I was trying to distract myself from the events of the day before with them, but the thoughts were only intensify by the animal blood near the garden. 

At night, we had dinner indoors, most of the guys were chatting about the few days we had in there, remaking a new plan for us to start heading to our supposed new home, Wonderland. However, Seonghwa seemed too caught up on his own world that he didn’t even touch his fish or veggies; and if stares could burn you, Seonghwa caught me staring at him. The worrying look on my face made him give me a smile to put an ease to my thoughts, he started to eat after I gulped a glass of water and gesture him swallow everything on his plate. I knew he was as affected as I was, maybe even more. Hongjoong had told us he felt guilty for not being able to protect Misuk when he was the strongest between the three of us, it made no sense if he also would’ve been killed. 

Things turned a little tense when Wooyoung mentioned our discovery on the tomatoes garden. 

"You're not allowed to go outside again this week", Hongjoong had said to me when I washed the dishes. He thought that my scent could have probably attracted the creatures near our house. I agreed bluntly as Mingi hugged my back and reassure that everything would be okay. 

On Tuesday, Yunho, Wooyoung and Jongho prepared an incredible meal with the supplies we brought, the amused moment was when they realized they couldn't cook without Seonghwa, who was out fixing a fissure in the water pipe, it was caused by that time when Wooyoung went to bathroom. Yeah, he was right, that shit was pretty messy. Literally.  I really wanted to go with him but he agreed to go by himself because “he was okay alone”. Saying I was hurt was an understatement… By the end of the day, I took care of gathering some supplies for our road trip, organized our food, water, clothes, pills and guns. We were obligated to dominate the art of shooting and targeting stuffs, luckily, we used them once in the forest yet we didn’t like to use them due to obvious reasons: noise. 

Anyway, as for San and Hongjoong, they never got out of the oldest bedroom till it was night time. San was carrying a notebook and some papers down his armpits while he grabbed a cup of the black coffee I made for Hongjoong and gave me a flash smile. Sometimes, San and I smiled at each other from time to time when our eyes met for too long, but he still was an idiot with big ego trying to make me mad at everything he did. I wasn’t sure of that new attitude of his, but it was better than his stearn and cold eyes.

On Wednesday, we all played Monopoly and remained in the basement for safety, if raccoons died the day before, we had to be aware of anything. So, we ended up hating Hongjoong and his fucking cute laugh as he robbed all of our money when we stepped in all his properties, Mingi kept fake-crying for an entire hour as Hongjoong took his little red houses from the spots he bought and he placed his purple buildings instead. Yeosang, Mr. Corrupt Bank, smiled devilish as he handed Hongjoong the last few dollars of the game. That little bastard knew how to play or he was a mastermind on cheating. San almost punched him and almost threw the game board as he perished in the jail longer than anyone else. We laughed till our bellies hurt, until our eyes cried, until our cheeks felt hot and our backs collided on the basement floor. The tension around us for the last three days faded away in that exact minute, we were just a group of young adults fooling around with our friends and classmates before Kihwang would come from his Art History class and would yell at us to start running over the place. But he never came, and we never ran, and all that we once knew as a normal life became a living hell as we played seek and hide with some freaking aliens. What a plot twist, bro. 

On Thursday, I made a peace alliance with Yeosang, not because either of us wanted to, we had to clean the basement with Seonghwa while the others were risking their lives outside looking for some fishy delight; before they left, Hongjoong made us pretty clear that we had to “put our shit together or else…”, we didn’t want to know the or else..., so we established that we had to figure how to stop looking for each other's throats and befriend one more time. Seonghwa was the mediator, so everything went just fine after some cursing, death wishes, some tears and a hug.

The guys came back three hours later, the river was near the abandoned city so the walk would be tedious. By the time they opened the basement door, Yeosang and Seonghwa were having a big discussion about a puppet show they started to put a smile on our faces.  After cleaning, I was worrying sick about everyone not coming home, so Yeosang thought it might be a good distraction. The show included my fluffy cat, Yeosang’s stuffed turtle, Seonghwa's big red Angry Bird character and San’s puppy, Shiber. 

“She has to marry Private Ryan”, Seonghwa grabbed his fluffy bird and placed my cat next to it. Yeosang frowned, grabbed the cat and placed it next to his turtle.

“Ehm, no, she has to marry Larry”.

“No one wants to marry Larry, Yeosang”, Seonghwa spoke as he, once again, took Manny, the cat, and put it aside the animals. I was staring at them the whole time sipping a glass of water in silence because I've already tried to speak and they almost ate me alive. They decided to have “fun” trying to create some kind of bad soap opera, oblivious that the real drama was getting closer and closer. 

“Fuck you, everyone wants to marry Larry, even Private Ryan”, Yeosang looked offended and hugged his turtle as if it was alive, he was trying to calm Larry down by caressing its shell. 

“How could anyone marry him? He’s too slow for this, the cat needs some real man that can fly her away from monsters”, the black haired man logically explained and grinn when he watched me hiding a smile. It seemed that the main characters didn't realize the boys were there, waiting for some answers about the childish show. San looked exhausted thought. Despites the arguments for my kitten marrying the turtle or the bird, San walked to the couch I was sat on, grabbed Shiber and Manny and sat next to me, interrupting the play. 

 “Let’s finish this”, he started, “Manny and Shiber are engaged, I don’t even know why you guys are fighting for. Besides, Private Ryan is gonna be the best man and Larry will be the flower boy, now shut up and let them be happy forever so we can rest on our beds, we're pretty tired and I need silence", San made the kitten and his little dog kissed for a second while he looked dead serious with his knitted eyebrows. Then, his features relaxed when a giggle escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand. San’s eyes stared at me with the edges of his mouth barely up and handed the plushies to me. I let the glass or water aside and hugged them together. Seonghwa gasped and Yeosang just glared at San’s Shiber. San stood up and left the living room with Wooyoung side by side, he had the biggest Joker smile I’ve ever seen and kind of creeped me out. 

The puppet show was over and we had a great dinner with the fishes they hunted. San let me sleep with Shiber as he now was Manny’s husband. What can I say? It was childish but cute. But suddenly, sleeping between Hongjoong and Seonghwa made me shiver, the warmth of the room disappeared slowly as my body lacked from the human contact. When my eyes opened, I was welcomed with pure loneliness and a cold room, I frowned. It was 2:35 AM according to my wristwatch, yet, I still could hear whispers coming from the living room, they were still taking about the trip. I was exhausted from the cleaning so I didn't think too much and closed my eyes one more time. I snuggled with Shiber between my arms the rest of the night. 

Now it was Friday, I spent the entire day inside my room due to cramps, in the end of the world a woman still has to survive that pain. My head was killing me and I hesitated everytime I wanted to go outside for some air or a glass of water; however, Hongjoong and Seonghwa made sure to warned out the guys to be careful when they came around my room to not cause any problem and disturb my susceptible self. I would eat them alive if they try to argue with me in that state. I could also sense that something was going on, or perhaps I was delusional and craving for some sweet, but they kept they guard on when I started to ask about what they were doing or how was the plan. Hongjoong tensed while he put the cup of tea next to the bed and Seonghwa was the first to approach. 

"Did you not sleep here?", I asked after they avoided the previous question. “I think I had another nightmare, you know, about day 1…” 

"We've been talking with the guys about the next move", the raven boy said and smiled. "Don't worry about us, take the rest of the day." 

"Yeosang sends his iPod", Hongjoong handed it with the headphones and kissed my head. "We'll talk later, Ji. You stay here and rest", then, they were gone, leaving me with Yeosang’s shuffle playlist. I didn’t ask anything else, however, a strange feeling inside my chest kept me uneased all day.

On Saturday I was ready to left the room, I was feeling a little bit better than the day before, moreover, the boys were cautious about my movements and talking.   

“Do you need anything, Ji?”, Mingi asked patting my hair with a soft smile on his face. I returned the gesture touching his well-fitted chest and crunch my nose.

“I’m okay, Mingi, it’ll be over soon”, I assured him as he engulfed me in his strong and long arms. 

“I’m happy I didn’t born as a woman.” 

That was all he said before I killed him with my own hands. Well, actually I punched him a little and made him my slave for all day long. Another odd thing was that Jongho finally talked to me, he looked very sad, thought, but it was an improvement. 

“Here are some pills Misuk always asked when she felt bad”, he handed me a little ziploc with five white pills.

“Oh… thank you, Jongho”, I gave him a quick smile and went to the kitchen.

 I stuck to Hongjoong’s side all day since I wanted to be aware of the expedition. Unexpectedly, he was acting weird, he had a certain manner to handle things sometimes and now he was avoiding my gaze, he rather talk about everything but the trip road, he even ordered me to go and paint some animals on the fourth floor after lunch when Yeosang called him to set up some kind of loose ends on the plan. He almost yelled at me when I insisted on helping with the route map, that’s what I’m talking about, that mullet boy never acted like that. I knew I fucked up with Misuk’s murder, yet it increased the continuous torment of the voices inside my head blaming me all over again. I wasn’t ready for him to demonstrate such an attitude about my culpability, thus I stopped and went to my painting room as all the eyes in the place watched my walk of shame. 

On Sunday every racional part of me started to fall apart. I woke up earlier than the boys, it was pretty unusual if I said. I made breakfast for all, some dumplings, fruits and a hella great coffee, maybe I thought it could be some payment to them for bearing my behavior; before anyone could see me, I grabbed my backpack, filled it with a bottle of water, a few dumplings and fruits, a blanket, some sunlight, my gun and Jongho’s pills. 

 I left the basement and went up to the fourth floor of the building, the sun started to rise from the window with its orange light and I smiled at it, I welcomed it with the few energy I had. It felt nostalgic, the quiet floor sometimes could be scary as hell, after all, I was alone in a building where no one would hear my screams from down earth. Moreover, while I put more and more space between the boys and myself, it started to feel like I wasn’t entirely alone, a thread connected us as we became a family after everything we’ve been through. Families fight, families made peace, I just needed a few hours away to understand that I was being skeptical over them hiding things, important things. And I knew we were going on the road the next day, but my chest ached with discomfort and concern due to Hongjoong’s distrust in my capacity to separate my feelings from our main mission: Wonderland. The tables had turned, I was so worry about Jongho being the one affected, but at the end it was only me and my persisting mouth. 

My hands weren’t able to draw a thing, they were rigid, inflexible, unable to even paint a curve. So my feet took me to the rooftop when the sun was finally set up in the sky, saluting with warmth and happiness that I couldn’t feel either. I put some sunlight while I rested on the floor and closed my eyes. The bright light kept my dreams from the shadows as my mind traveled to a parallel world where everything around me glowed, where my body felt loose, like floating through the space in the quietness of the periphery. My chest went up and down as I took deep breaths and a minute later I was fully relaxed, no worries on my minds, no negative thoughts about blood, or death, or sorrow, or guilt...  With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere, it just wasn’t raining any time soon. After a minute or two, the slumber won the battle between anxiety and disappointment and I submerged in the glowing sea of hope and dreams that onces were reachable in the impossible now. 

A few hours later, a big shadow blinded the bright sun and made me open my eyes a bit faster than usual, the blurry figure was looking at me from above with a tense jaw and fisting hands.

“How long have you been here?”, the man signed abruptly and my eyebrows knitted.

“What do you mean?”, I raised my back up a little and sat slowly, for a few seconds dizziness invaded my sight and I blinked severely as Hongjoong’s face became visible.

“Did you not see the time, Jiyeong?”, then I looked around. The sky was still light up but little shiny stars started to show up as minutes passed by. How long did I sleep? I was sure my nightmares depravated me without a good rest, but I wasn’t aware of how tired I really was. 

“We thought you’ve left a while ago”, again, he moved his hands harshly and it didn’t matter if we were quiet, his face expressed the anger he was holding inside. 

“Couldn’t you look up in here?”, I got up on my two feet and dust off my clothes. “Even so, why would I leave without you? I was waiting till you had your breakfast to go downstairs and finally began the travel”.

“We already had lunch, Jiyeong, it’s been seven hours…”, I was taken by surprise realizing how much I was off, my skin felt warm due the sun but it didn’t hurt too much. “Don’t do that again, okay? We-… I thought...”, Hongjoong sighed and bit his lip.

“What? That I’ll leave you just because you’re being a dick to me? Nah, I’m too rational to know that we need to stick together no matter what.”

He avoided my eyes one more time and I finally snapped. I approached him, grabbed the collar of his jacket harshly, making him stumbled in his own feet. Anger boiled my blood as my body reacted without warning. My knuckles were white as the strength I put on my hold was too much for myself. Hongjoong’s eyes were wide open and his mouth partly opened startled, we never had an encounter like that before and me being aggressive was never on my mind, yet I couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Suddenly, I let Hongjoong’s jacket go and signed with pure wrath.

“I’m tired of your shit, Hongjoong. All I’m trying to do is help you with the trip and here you are, treating me like I was some kind of girl that is too scared to hear men talk. I’m tired of being left alone. You realized I wasn’t in the basement like a minute ago and don’t try to lie to me”, Hongjoong was perplexed trying to catch up with my fast movements. He raised his hands and I shook my head. “You thought I was inside the bedroom after I cooked your breakfast just because you’re so caught up with the fucking plan that you don’t understand how shitty I felt this week. I know you don’t trust me, but don’t hide value information when we are a fucking team, Hongjoong…”

 I was panting, the thumping of my heart almost scared me, was it that loud? Would the creatures listen to it? Hongjoong’s dumbfounded face was a poem, he just stood there looking right through me and I stood there, letting him. Two minutes later, he signed.

“This is the first time you said Hongjoong too many times instead of Joong, so… I assume I really upset you”, he pressed his hands on his temples, passed it through his hair and stepped closer to hug me tighter than ever. I didn’t return the gesture, not even when I really needed to hold him. When he noticed, he sighed one more time and let me go. 

“I’m so sorry… it’s just that San and I’ve been changing some things we already had planned before the incident with Misuk and we had to arrange things by putting you too much pressure, most of us are against the idea of lending you such demands when Seonghwa is as well going through it…”, his sad eyes showed how anxious he was, he cupped my face with his hands and caressed my cheeks. A ghost smile appeared on my face and made him grin in victory. 

“This is not the first time we’ve faced dead friends or family, Joong. I’m stronger than this, it just happened to bring back old bad memories, that’s all”, I signed and shrugged, not wanting to think about them after my seven hours sleep.

“That’s all…”, he signed in response. He pressed his lips together as he squeezed my shoulders and stepped back. His eyes looked around quickly with a bothered gaze. “What if we talked inside? It’s getting darker and I- we need you safe…”, Hongjoong grabbed the bag on the floor,opened the rooftop’s door for me and extended his hand for me to hold it. 

“Only if you agree to make some of that horrible tea for me before we go…”, I crossed my arms over my chest and stopped a meter away from him. The mullet boy’s grin fainted and he swallowed hard, that made me frowned. But before I could ask, he nodded with a smile, hold my hand and made me follow him to the basement. A cup of tea wasn’t going to stop me from demanding answers, not when I could tell that something was disturbing him; after all, we were ready to leave the place that day and nothing could stop us, at least nothing that I was aware of.

(...)   

Masterlist

[darknightsims]

8 Awesome and Fun Challenges to Play in 2019 in the Sims 4!

Sims players have been creating fan-made challenges for the games pretty much since the series began in 2001. Challenges are a fun way to mix up normal game play; instead of just creating a Sim and living out a normal life, you can play by a set of rules and objectives to try to reach a particular outcome.

Some challenges are more difficult than others, but all are a creative and an interesting way to introduce a more linear game play style to The Sims' sandbox game play.

Players have been coming up with different challenges for The Sims 4 since the day it was introduced. Here are some of the most fun and interesting challenges for the Sims 4; try them if you're bored with the game and looking to mix things up!

1. The Legacy Challenge The Legacy Challenge is one of the oldest, most classic of Sims challenges. Players have been doing it for years, probably since the days of the Sims 1. The basic rules are pretty simple:

Create a Sim of your choice, and move them onto the biggest empty lot, but they must start in poverty (only $10,000 simoleons, excluding the cost of the lot). The "founder" has to build their house and wealth, and then procreate to make a second generation. You play on in the single family for 10 generations. There are various challenges throughout each generation and different flavours you can add to the challenge to make it more exciting or challenging. The legacy challenge is pretty fun for a few reasons: you get to play through one bloodline for so many generations, it's got a rags-to-riches story to it, and you can really see the growth of your Sims' home, family, etc.

Check out this website dedicated to the Sims Legacy Challenge (with rules for the Sims 4, 3 and even Sims 2!) here.

2. History Challenge This is quite a popular challenge for The Sims 4. Created by user Cloudseeker on The Sims 4 forums, this challenge is designed to start in the "prehistoric" age, and takes you and your Sims throughout various time periods, ending in the Modern era.

Create two Sims (your Ancestors) and place them in an empty world (delete all lots and all Sims, or download an empty world- see link for the challenge below for more details). They will start off as your prehistoric Sims. Prehistoric era Sims can't join any jobs, but can sell collectables, paintings or woodwork. Sims can't have a "house"; they must live in a tent or on the land and can only eat food that they've caught or grown (fish, insects, fruit). Complete the goals in the Prehistoric era to move on ("Reach level 10 Fishing, Gardening and Handiness skill on the same Sim" is one of the 5 goals in this stage). Move on to Early Civilisation, where your Sims can now build a house in the Roman Empire or Ancient Egyptian style! Progress through each era- Prehistoric, Early Civ, Middle Ages, The Old West, The Industrial Age, The Roaring Twenties, and the Modern Day- by completing goals and unlocking new game mechanisms! I really love this challenge- it's an extremely unique spin on the traditional legacy challenge and the creator put a lot of thought into the eras, game play and goals. A lot of Simmers really got into this challenge too (the forum post has 45+ pages of replies on it alone!), and if you're into using CC in your game, there's a lot of themed content for each of the eras, so you can make the game even more authentic!

Check out the full challenge rules here and check out some of the amazing era-themed custom content (cheetah print loin cloths for the Prehistoric Age, anyone?), here!

3. Decades Challenge The Decades Challenge is a variation of The Legacy Challenge/The History Challenge. It's not identical to the History Challenge though, because instead of going through various eras, it's more focused on American lifestyle between 1890 to present time.

You start off in 1890. Sims can only marry within their own ethnicity, can only marry the opposite gender, can't use electricity (obviously), indoor plumbing, can only "try for baby" (no woo-hoo for fun!), and all furniture must be wooden, among other things. By 1900s, Sims can have electricity and indoor plumbing, but only men are allowed to get jobs outside the home. In 1910, male Sims must go to "war", which is just feeding the cowplant and rolling dice to see whether or not they survive! Women can finally go to work in the 1920s, but by the 1930s, anyone in a career must lose their job (the Great Depression). Each decade continues with various challenges and things to unlock until you reach the current decade! This is another one that gets major points for fun and creativity. There's challenging aspects and it stays pretty true to how life was in each of these time periods. This is another one that would benefit from downloading some themed custom content for your game (if nothing else, it's a nice excuse to give your Sims pretty Victorian dresses!).

Full challenge details are here! Historical Sims Life is a great blog which offers some custom content you can use for this challenge.

4. 100 Baby Challenge Let's change it up a bit, hey? Instead of a history-based challenge, we have this extremely fun and classic, 100 Baby Challenge! This is another that's been played through most iterations of the Sims.

Have 100 babies in as few generations as possible! Once you have a baby with a Sim, you cannot have a baby with that same Sim again (yes, promiscuity is encouraged in this challenge- have as many baby daddies as possible ;)) No cheats are allowed, but you can age up babies immediately. You must give birth to a girl to continue the legacy. The youngest girl born to the founder continues the legacy when the founder becomes an elder and can't give birth. If you don't have any girls, you lose! This is a fun and silly challenge that lots of people love playing. You can make it gender neutral if you like by using mods (so men can get pregnant), but either way, it's a fun challenge that'll get you and your Sims out and making woo-hoo with everyone they meet.

Full challenge rules here!

5. Black Widow Challenge The Black Widow challenge is another of somewhat scandalous nature; the main challenge is to marry male Sims, kill them, and inherit their money!

Start with a Young Adult female Sim. She must have the materialistic, snob and romantic traits and should have the Serial Romantic aspiration. She can move into a house but you're not allowed to use any cheats for money! She also is not allowed to work- all the money she has must be inherited from partners. Meet a Sim and get married to him. Have a dinner party to show off your new partner, and while you're there, find a potential romantic interest. Cheat on the husband with the new romantic interest, invite him over and get caught cheating. Find a way to kill off the husband (some suggestions are here) and then marry the new romantic interest! Keep all the tombstones on the lot- aim for 10 husbands to win! There's a few other rules and goals that go with the challenge, but that's the main gist of it. The Black Widow Challenge is one that's been around since The Sims 2 as well- can you seduce and kill all the Sims in your town? Check out the full details here!

6. Homeless Challenge The Homeless Challenge is one that I'd actually say is a bit hard! As we all know, part of playing The Sims is making sure our Sims are happy, but it's a lot harder to do that when you don't have the typical creature comforts. For this challenge, you must:

Make a single Sim- they can be male or female and have whichever traits you'd like. Buy and move them onto an empty lot. Using cheats, remove all their money. Your Sim can not have a job, but can obtain cash by collecting, fishing, gardening, rummaging through trash, begging other Sims for money, writing books, playing instruments, painting, or any other hobbies. In the beginning, they'll have to use public toilets and sleep on park benches until you reach the part of the challenge which allows them to start building a home. Of course, you'll need to have enough money to do that too! As you progress in the challenge, there are mini challenges (like the "building permit" mini challenge- you deduct $500 simoleons from your Sim's money and then they can start building on their lot) that'll allow you to progress The game "ends" when you have $5000 saved and have built a basic house! This is another of my personal favourites. The mini challenges are unique and fun, and it's definitely hard trying to take care of a Sim who doesn't have all the necessities at hand. There's great pride when you reach the end of the challenge and see how far your homeless Sim has come!

Check out all the full details here.

7. Asylum Challenge Time to get a bit crazy! Literally. The Sims 4 Asylum Challenge is all about managing Sims with the insane trait. Can you do it?

Make a household with 8 Sims (or find some in the Sims 4 Gallery!). All Sims must have the insane trait. You must randomize their other traits (but they cannot have the "Self-Assured" trait. Randomize their aspirations. You can pick one Sim to control throughout the challenge. The goal is to have your controlled Sim complete their aspiration (to prove they've gained control of their life) and they can then leave the asylum! No cheats are allowed, and to spice things up, you can make the house only have 5 beds, 6 seats, just one bathroom, and the cheapest electronics. This is a fun and difficult challenge; you really have to work hard to control your Sim despite their insane trait, and you also have to watch out for the other uncontrolled insane Sims in the house. I like this challenge as it's based on an in-game trait, rather than an external set of goals or objectives.

Full challenge details are here!

8. Apocalypse Challenge Sims fans have long wished for an official post-Apocalypse expansion pack (think The Sims + Fallout), but the closest we've ever gotten was Sims 3: Into the Future. The Apocalypse Challenge, however, lets you use your imagination and pretend that you're living in a post-war world!

The year is 2015, and all of Simtopia's been wiped out by an apparent nuclear war! Thankfully, your Sim has survived in their bomb shelter, and the goal is to survive there until they die of old age. Create a sim and a "shelter." The shelter is a single room which can only have the basic necessities: cheapest bed (the prison cots from Get to Work or the camping beds from Outdoor Retreat would be great), toilet, and kitchen appliances (stove, fridge, counter). Your Sim cannot leave the lot (the rest of the world is destroyed and there's the threat of nuclear fallout). If your Sims die of anything other than old age- you lose! I've seen a few variations of this challenge online, but all of them have to do with survivalist living and gives you some unique restrictions on typical game play.

Check out the full challenge details here!

[ourwickedworld]

The Rambling Man Travel Review: Reno, Nevada

Reno, Nevada…  The Biggest Little City in the world, located mere miles from scenic Lake Tahoe.  Reno, known for so many things.  Yes, gambling is probably the first thing that creeps into your head as you begin the initial descent into Reno / Tahoe International Airport on the East end of Reno.  But, Reno is so much more!!  And, to be clear, because in an odd way I get this question more often than not.  “No, Reno is not any where near Las Vegas!” Frankly, Sin City is a 6 plus hour car trip away.  And, yes, the two Old West towns have some things in common, but the truth is they have more uncommon than you would expect.  This is the Silver State, Ramblin with the Rambling Man, checking out the dudeability, the hang outs, the good time, hidden gems….  Rambling, walking, eating, drinking, fishing, hunting, sporting…   Rambling into town, and taking in the town for all its worth.  From local sporting events, to grabbing a cold beer, or strolling a midnight street in search of every dream inside my soul.

If you want to double down on 11 in a game of black jack, sure…  You can take lady luck for a twirl at most locations in Nevada.  Heck, you can gamble in the grocery store! Gambling, of course, does not hold a stick to legalized prostitution in the Silver State.  A must see “dude event,” a most unique experience while in Nevada.  One must visit a brothel.  The experience of Ringing the bell, having the ladies line up, and the entire pomp and circumstance of legalized prostitution…  This is Nevada!!  Embrace it Bro..    And, hey, I am not singing a sad cowboy tune, but one does not have to sleep with a hooker to visit a Brothel.  Gentleman, the experience of visiting the Whore House is truly West Coast Cowboy Country Cool.  The experience of visiting the relic of the old west sorta makes actually having to bang a hooker totally unnecessary.  But, if you do decide to go to Tuna Town in the desert.  The house madam at the Brothel, and Brothel ownership, usually have high standards of safety and satisfaction. Plus, the State of Nevada ensures STD safe sex.  What a Country!  More like what a State.  Yes, the only state with Legalized Prostitution, but not the only state with prostitution.  As the oldest profession continues its strong industry and economic success globally.  

Some suggestions: Mustang Ranch on the outskirts of Reno defines old west prostitution, and if you can avoid the rush of tires truck drivers who frequent the place, the experience is sure to remind you that being a dude is still groovy.  The experience is sure to make you proud once again to be the sole proprietor of your personal penis, regardless of size.  Mustang offers drinks and libations with the most perfect bar to take in a conversation with one of the many girls patrolling the room.  The many patrons, of course, have their own unique stories as well sitting near if you so desire to engage.  But, dang it bro, you are on vacation, strike up a conversation. Most Renoites will be more than happy to share a story or two, especially if you are talking golf, hookers, skiing, cold beer, or cards.  

I woke up a bit foggy… I think I got home around 3:30 AM, an UBER brought me from Mustang back to my downtown Reno hotel room at the Eldorado Hotel and Casino.  I was nude, my clothes from last night thrown over the chair adjacent to my bed, I could still smell the stench of Mustang and Crown Royal bellowing from my garments. What a night…  I need some coffee and to walk some of the haze from behind my eyes.  I take a quick walk upon exiting the casino doors at the Eldorado, moving South down Virginia St.  I then take a right turn on First St.  

I arrive at Hub Coffee Roasters on Riverside Dr in Reno.  I sit outside, a round table with an extra chair my only company.  I sip a tall black coffee and pick at my cheese Danish. My view is of the Truckee River and the adjacent walking trail and park.  The trees scream early fall as I sit still listening to the peace of the morning.  

On foot one can embrace a new city on a much more intimate level.  You can walk almost in slow motion as you take in the new sights, smells, and people.  My walk today has a walking path that winds around the Truckee River directly West towards the Keystone Ave Bridge, the Booth St. Bridge, and Idlewild Park.  The orange, yellow leaves under my feet, as cool mountain air surrounds me.  I hear chirps from a few birds, and the 10:00 AM train and its screech and horn.  The water from the river heads East, against my walk.  It is a most perfect morning, and I am stoned immaculate in my city by the big lake in the Sierras.  You can almost smell that the snow of Winter is near, I walk.  My head phones in both ears, music plays, song after song.  I hear my playlist, my shuffle playlist. The many songs from Apple I-Tunes subscription.  

Three miles is a decent introduction walk to Reno, as I start my daily stroll from Hub Coffee Roasters by directly heading west on the adjacent walking trail…  I walk with the morning sun on my back, music keeping me company.  Beck, REM, Pearl Jam, Band of Horses, Elliot Smith, Mount Eerie, Bob Dylan….  The Truckee River from the nearby Sierra Nevada Mountain range brings fresh and clear water from the tops of elevated peaks seen in the distance, the river keeps me company as I ramble on.  It is a most perfect walk, a mix of solitude, water, fall, and some strange faces.  My own music allows me to not skip a beat.  

I have a personal tour of a local Cannabis Dispensary at 4 PM.  And dinner with an old friend, Clint Cates.   Yes, above and beyond gambling and prostitution, Nevada has recently legalized cannabis.  Yep, you can literally go pick up a sack at a local retail weed dealer.  What a country?  And they deliver…  

The inner workings of a cannabis dispensary, a bit underwhelming.  It is all about security in a cash only business… And, the chronic has some street value, no doubt.  So, bullet proof sheet rock, big safes with secret codes and levels of management. Not to mention, a big wall of people. I thought “Starbucks but weed” after 15 minutes into my tour because the Mynt Dispensary in Downtown Reno.  The place was packed, all sorts of sour faces and young people alike looking at such a variety of products.  Heck, when I was a kid, getting a sack of weed was a crap shoot. You would get a plastic sandwich bag with something green inside, and you would pay the man the cash.  Today, its sativa or Indica.  It’s oils, wax, vape pens, and don’t get me started on the names.  Pot can’t just be pot anymore.  Marketing has invaded the space, so pot now is Orange Krusk Kush, or Spiral to Insanity. Regardless, Reno has it all, and the Mynt Dispensary is close and will satisfy one’s curiosity on what is recreational legalization.  Check it out….  

Mr. Cates urged me to see the Grow Facility, the actual place the pot is grown.  And, talk about impressive…  To see such a green forest of pot inside the facility was one most unique experience.  What a country?  And, Nevada, Northern Nevada.  This place is lit, no pun intended.  

And, when you are stoned? Besides taking a walk and being outdoors, I enjoy food, duh…  I think that is the pothead mantra, let’s get high and eat are faces off.  For Clint’s chronic hospitality, and world class tour of the Mynt Dispensary facilities, I offered to buy the pot entrepreneur dinner.

Clint, he suggests a local staple, but a Cougar Stop first.  

We walk into The Polo Lounge with glazed eyes and an unquenchable thirst.  We pull up to seats at the bar, we were Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday in a pair of cowboy boots galloping into this local dive bar. And, we were looking for a cold drink.  

The Polo Lounge located in Midtown Reno is a retro and freaky dive bar with strange faces everywhere. The bar, however, is first and foremost a place to drink in a town of drinkers.  Did I mention?  Reno can drink.  I am feeling a Vodka and Tonic with a lemon night is on the horizon.  I am in the land of milk and honey, as this dive bar is also a Cougar den.  Hot, horny, older women.  And like fine wine, and vodka to my tongue, an older woman is truly as sexy as a woman can possible be.  Especially, if the music is loud, the drinks are cheap, and last call is just a rumor. That’s right, you can drink all day and all night in the Biggest Little City.  No last call!!  What a country bro!!!

Clint stumbles back from a food run, we lost most of the night in a haze of laughter, pick up lines, and bar games.  We even missed the food reservation.  Clint finds a solution!  He brings back some food from Miguel’s Mexican Cantina, a short walk away from The Polo Lounge.  I am mouth first into an onion and cheese enchilada and a chili relleno in the most elegant egg crepe as 2 AM reared its ugly head.  I order a cold beer to wash it down, The Polo Lounge happily accommodates our request to bring in outside food.  Dive bar, check.  Great company and laughter, check.  Great Mexican food, check!!  The Rambling Man thinks highly in regards to the drinkability and Eatability in the Biggest little City…

I sleep until high noon. The partly cloudy fall day brings a day to catch up.  I have one more night in Reno, what will the last day of my weekend getaway bring.  I hope more laughter, and more food.  

What will today bring, a Sunday afternoon and night in Reno.  I stick to my vacation theme, let’s walk, drink, eat, and find some laughter.

I start my last night with a Sunset Walk at nearby Virginia Lake.  The manmade lake is exactly one mile around, it is a big oval walking / running path near the intersection of Virginia St. and Plumb Lane in Reno.  It is a most beautiful walk and sunset.  I start my walk, set for 3 laps, at approximately 5:45 PM, sunset set for 6:20 PM, and the sky was set ablaze with all of autumn’s glory.  The lake is full of aquatic life, ducks, geese, turtles, fish.  With the best feature of Virginia Lake, a forest of sage brush. As dusk approaches, the smell from the sage brush is worth a billion silver dollars.  The smell of sun fading from summer, the old west meeting the fresh air of ancient mountain shadow.  Air so still, my heart beats in rhythm with the season.  

After the walk, I go to the nearby Atlantis Casino….  The Atlantis, less than a quarter mile from Virginia Lake, is where I will partake in the Steam Room with Eucalyptus spray and a world class massage.  I feel like I am made of rubber, I feel happy.  So, I make my way down to the sportsbook within the bowels of the Atlantis casino.  I grab a beer and a nearby handicapping sheet, I am going to bet on the NFL Sunday night game of the Week, it’s the Patriots vs the Chiefs.  What a game!!  I put $500 on Tom Brady, the old man from Nor Cal, to win the game by more than two points.  

At halftime, I stagger over to the Purple Parrot restaurant within the Atlantis to get my all time favorite sandwich, The Monty Cristo.  This fried sandwich with a side of strawberry preserves is not something I eat, nor even have the option of ordering.  The Monty Cristo with a side of fries, I sit at my table, lost in the casino carpet, and flashy neon lights, my eyes fixed upon the next numbers in the never ending run of Keno games on the overhead TV.  In my head, I keep wishing for eight numbers to match, a dream of wealth and fame surely awaits if I can only just get 8 numbers correct.  

The night fades into the swallows of tomorrow, I make my way back to downtown and the Eldorado.  My flight leaves tomorrow at 10:15 AM….

Hue of the TV radiates upon my tired and sleepy head, a weekend in Reno.  I spark my lighter, weed set aglow, I inhale.  Stoned immaculate, I am the Rambling Man.  Reno ENVY… Reno, Nevada…  Walkability Score:  9 out of 10,  Drinkability Score:  7 out of 10, Eatability Score:  7 out of 10, Overall Value:  8 of 10, The Ability of the City to Provide a Unique Experience:  10 of 10.

Or course, my weekend getaway is meant to start a conversation regarding travel.  Reno has so much more to offer, like most cities, it would take multiple trips to take it all in.  I, do however, list below some activities or events to consider when traveling to Reno.  

1.       Fish for Brown or Rainbow Trout in the Truckee River. Entrance Point at Mayberry Park west of town make this easy to access.  Artificial flies, a Salmon Egg, or even a piece of Bacon on the end of the stick will find success at dawn or twilight.  

2.       Check out a University of Nevada Football game at nearby Mackey Stadium in the Fall, a Nevada Basketball game in the Winter, or a Reno Aces Minor League Baseball game in the Spring or Summer.  Hey, we love our sports, and checking out a new venue is always cool.  

3.       Walking Options: Mayberry Park, Downtown Reno, Virginia Lake, Rancho San Rafael

4.       Harrah’s Auto Museum – This is a legit place, full of classic cars that will blow your mind.

5.       Rib Cookoff, Balloon Races, Hot August Nights, all tourists traps but a place to start a weekend to Ramble On…..  

Finally, and in closing, what is the soul of the city, what is the Soul of Reno?  Reno has two faces, and contradiction surrounds.  The beauty of Lake Tahoe, the Truckee River, the Sierra Nevada Mountains, alongside the despair of prostitution and gaming.  The city is the chain of vice, and the elegance of a perfect small town.  It is the old west, yet modern day growth and opportunity abounds.  It’s the Wild, Wild West, it’s the Biggest Little City in the World.  Regardless, Reno is a fantastic place to Ramble On.

The Rambling Man continues next week, we explore Athens, Georgia.  Please follow us on Twitter, @BarkmanPete. We are no longer on Facebook.  Why? Because Facebook sucks.  

Please consider checking out other Podcast segments available on The Pete Barkman Show. Segments include the following: The Rambling Man, Las Vegas Larry’s Losers ( sports picks, predictions, and handicapping).  And, our How To Live a Happy and Healthy Life Series.  Plus, much more.  The Pete Barkman Show, available on most Podcast Platforms.  

[little-chimchim]

Sugar and Spice- Part 1

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3919

Genre: Chef au! Celebrity au! 

Pairing: Mingyu x Wonwoo

A/N: Oh shiz, it’s been what, like five months since I’ve written a fic? Woah. I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting. So here it is! I know it’s an actually pairing instead of an OC this time, but I think you guys will enjoy this, I know I do. Thank you all for being patient, I love you all...Kay

Masterlist 

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“What does cooking mean to you?” The talk show host asked, seemingly proud of herself by asking such an ‘original’ question. She straightened her back and leaned towards the man she had been interrogating for the past twenty minutes.

The man, void of any awkward tension, followed the host’s actions and moved toward the mic that had been thrust in his direction as he smiled cockily towards the camera. “Cooking, to me, is an art. I’m not just putting foods together at random for people to eat. No, I blend together ingredients to create masterpieces that people don’t just witness with their eyes, but to savor with their scent and taste as well. Cooking to me, is an art that can truly bring everyone together.” The man finished his answer by quickly winking towards the camera before turning back to the host.

There was a thunderous applause sounding from the audience, mostly consisting of teenage girls and their overbearing house mothers, all taking turns chanting the celebrity chef’s name.

On the other side of the camera, in front of a worn little t.v, tucked in between a refrigerator and shelf, sat six men, all staring at the man in the interview.  

“There are only so many ways to look like a pompous idiot, and Chef is exhibiting every single one of them,” Griped the man in the middle. He shook his head, the long black strands of his hair falling into his eyes as he did so. The black haired man looked to the other men in the room, an evident frown on his face.

“Is someone jealous that they didn’t get to be on t.v. too?” Cracked the tallest of the men. Minghao, the man with the black hair, peeked over his shoulder in order to glare daggers at the man who opened his mouth.

Seokmin, the tallest of the men, only smiled towards Minghao, his eyes disappearing into half moons as the smile took over his lively features. “Sorry, Hao. You know that I’m just playing with you.” He cheered, trying his best to sound sincere towards the younger male.

Minghao rolled his eyes, knitting his fingers together in his lap. “At least it’s good business for the restaurant,” Hao grumbled. The dark haired man untied his fingers and pushed himself off of the creaky metal chair. He swept his gaze around the kitchen the focused his attention back to the men in the room.

“Chef should be getting back soon, let’s get things ready to open.”

Minghao, despite his young age, was the sous chef. Second in command. When Mingyu was not present, Minghao had no qualms with running the kitchen how he wanted it. Of course, because euro of this, it caused an almost friendly tension between the two chefs that was evident to everyone who laid eyes on the pair.

“Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan go get the friers ready and start prepping the fish, we have salmon from last night to use.” Minghao barked at the three men huddled closest together.

The three of them nodded their heads and scurried off, just to finish the task Minghao had given them.

These three were the line cooks, a humorous bunch trained in the culinary arts. They were young, fresh out of top notch culinary schools, but naive and inexperienced. Though, to Mingyu, this only added to their appeal.

After giving the trio their orders, Minghao turned to the next man in line, the oldest in the kitchen. His features were much softer than Minghao’s, kinder too. A lighthearted smile played at his pink lips as Minghao approached him.

“Joshua, did you finish the icing for the strawberry tart?” Minghao asked, his voice half expectant, already knowing what the older man’s response would be. Joshua’s eyes lit up, he straightened his back and brought his hands to the tops of his hips.

“The icing is done and so are the chocolate cakes. I started on the creme brulee but I decided that we were going to do the cakes as our dessert special instead.” Joshua beamed as he spoke about his work.

Minghao nodded his head, reaching over to pat his elder’s shoulder. “Good work. I didn’t expect anything else.” The black haired man pressed his lips together into a thin smile, waving his hand at the older man signaling for him to go to his station.

Joshua bowed his head slightly before making his way back to the counters filled with goodies.

Minghao then turned his attention towards the last man. He was sitting patiently on a rickety wooden stool, his hands folded in his lap while he waited for Minghao’s orders. “Wonwoo, go scrub dishes we'll be using a lot of them tonight.” Minghao ordered as he turned around to man his own station.

Wonwoo stayed silent, not uttering a word as he nodded his head. He pushed himself off of the stool and sauntered towards the sinks, where plates and pans were already starting to stack up. He sucked in a deep breath, rolling his shirt up to his elbows before diving into the workload.

Wonwoo was different from the rest of the men in the restaurant. He did not attend some overly expensive culinary school in some remote European country, nor did he have the honor to actually prepare the food himself. Instead, he was charged with dishwashing and good prep; as was the life of the kitchen assistant.

No one truly knew anything about the young assistant, other than his name and that never said no to anyone in the kitchen. He was a peculiar man, no doubt about it, but after a year of working for Mingyu, everyone stopped questioning him and left him to his own devices.

Of course, the troublesome trio of Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Seungkwan couldn’t just leave it at that. They spent their days trying to figure the quiet assistant out, oftentimes terrorizing the poor man until he actually says something about their antics.

The mediator of everything was the ever innocent Joshua, who had, on multiple occasions, tried to befriend the quiet assistant. Though, with no avail.

No matter what, Jeon Wonwoo had always been the kitchen’s biggest mystery.

Later that night, shortly after the brunt of the kitchen rush had died away, the man of the hour walked through the doors of the restaurant. Mingyu strode into his kitchen, smiling at all of the customers along the way.

He was clad in fine clothing, and if everyone didn’t know better, he could easily be mistaken for something other than a world class chef.

Except, he was.

Kim Mingyu, former child actor turned celebrity chef and tv personality. Not exactly the turn of events most people expected when it came to child stars. Though, when Mingyu found that his passion didn’t lie with acting, he turned around and turned his true passion into a career.

He walked through the building with an aura that screamed confidence. He held his head up high with a smile on his lips so bright that the sun would have been jealous. Once he came through the kitchen, all time seemed to stop.

Everyone paused what they were doing to look at Mingyu. Minghao, having been working on the main entrees, was the first to speak to the chef. “Hello Chef,” He exclaimed loudly as he bent his body forward.

Soon after, everyone else in the kitchen followed Minghao’s brief introduction to their boss. Mingyu, satisfied with the greeting, pressed his lips together into a thin smile and waved his hand at Minghao for him to continue. “It looks like you guys have done a good job while I was gone. I’m impressed.” Mingyu stepped through the kitchen, walking passed the rest of the employees. He brought his hand up to his mouth and yawned, visibly tired from the day’s public adventure.

“I’m heading upstairs, I’m exhausted.”  Was all Mingyu said before he started to make his way towards the stairs that led to his apartment above the restaurant.

When he reached the top of the stairs, Mingyu looked back down to his employees and caught their attention. “Close up early tonight, you all deserve it. See you tomorrow.” He added as he stepped away.

The kitchen staff looked amongst themselves and nodded their heads, pleased with their boss’s generosity. Minghao returned back to his dish, a warm smile on his face. “Alright everyone, you heard the man. Let’s get out of here.” He cheered while he finished up the last of his plates.

Wonwoo was the last one inside the kitchen. The dishes kept piling up, even after the rest of the kitchen had left. He wished to go home, but he wasn’t allowed to until the entirety of the kitchen was spotless.

This was his favorite time of the night, when everyone was gone and he had the entire kitchen to himself. It was calming, not having to deal with everyone else and being able to do his own thing, at his own pace.

This was also the time of night where he could prepare his own food, without being yelled at for touching the stove.

Contrary to what everyone else believed, Wonwoo loved to cook. When Mingyu hired him just a year prior, he believed that he was being hired in as a line cook. He was greatly disappointed to find out what his actual role entailed, but a job was a job and Wonwoo had bills to pay.

So he sucked it up and kept to himself, in hopes that he would be moved up one day.

Wonwoo wiped his wet hands on the rough fabric of his dark blue jeans. He stretched his arms over his head and grunted the moment his joints popped. He rubbed his tired eyes then stepped away from the sinks.

He roamed the empty kitchen curiously as he examined the cabinets and coolers for ingredients for tonight's meal. He combed throw his various choices before finally settling on the ingredients for a basic pasta dish that was easy enough for a toddler to replicate.

He had prepared far trickier dishes, but tonight, all he wanted to do was go home with a full meal and enough time to sleep before having to come right back in to the kitchen.

Wonwoo, ever the perfectionist, laid his ingredients out in neat lines, organizing them in the order that he would use them. He grinned to himself, an action he so rarely expressed, and began his work.

He flew through the steps, completing it all with ease. He found joy in even the simple dishes. Cutting a tomato wasn't just another boring step. Every detail mattered to him.

In fact, he became so enthralled by the cooking process that he wasn't fully aware with how loud he was being, as he was so lost in his own world.

Usually, using the kitchen after the restaurant was closed was no problem. He was able to go in, get the ingredients and start cooking with no setbacks. It had been a year without being found out.

Though, Wonwoo had gotten a little too comfortable in the empty space of the kitchen. He was so used to being unbothered in these rare few minutes alone, that he hadn't heard someone tiptoeing down the stairs and into the little space.

“Mince the onions instead of chopping them. It's easier to eat it that way.” Spoke a soft voice from the other side of the room.

Wonwoo jumped, dropping the onion he had been holding on to the ground. His heart rate picked up as he turned his head to face the owner of the voice.

He stood up straighter and placed his hands at his sides, his almost military trained, blank expression back on his face.

Mingyu made his way into the kitchen. He glanced around the area, examining everything Wonwoo had been doing. “Carbonara?” Mingyu asked, peering down into the pot of boiled noodles and spices.

Wonwoo slowly nodded his head, his face void of expression. “Yes sir,” He bellowed clearly. Mingyu raised his brow in curiosity as he looked closer at the dish in front if him. “Well I can already tell that you're going to need more cheese. It's not nearly thick enough,” Mingyu began.

The young chef reached over to grab the nearest utensil, the spoon Wonwoo had used to stir the pasta. Mingyu dipped the spoon into the pan and brought it to his lips. Mingyu stuck his tongue out to taste the sauce Wonwoo had doused his noodles in.

The was a stale silence in the air as Wonwoo waited for Mingyu to say something. He cursed himself under his breath for being loud enough to wake Mingyu up all the way in his upstairs apartment.

His heart was beating painfully inside his chest while he waited for the chef to make up his mind about liking his dish. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Mingyu finally started to talk. “It’s not bad. There’s just a tad too much salt, and too little sauce. But the taste, for being so simple, is not bad at all.” Mingyu muttered as he overanalyzed what was supposed to be Wonwoo’s dinner.

Mingyu set the spoon back down on the counter and turned around to face Wonwoo. He pointed his finger at the older man, a smile bright on his cheery features. “You made this?” In response, Wonwoo furiously nodded his head, his lips sealed together.

Mingyu raised his brows in curiosity. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his grey sweatpants and casually stepped closer to the silent man  “Do you usually come down to cook?”

Again, the silent nodding.

Mingyu let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. “If I had known that you could cook, I'd have tried to help you much sooner. You're not bad I'm quite impressed actually. I'd say that you could easily, with a little bit of help,  be on the same level as those trio of dummies that run my line.”

Wonwoo shook his head this time, “I'm not that good,” he mumbled timidly. He tied his fingers together and rocked on his heels, trying to find ways to escape this conversation.

Mingyu raised his hand and extended his finger to point at Wonwoo. “And that's where you're wrong. You have potential and I want to be the one to bring it out of you.”

Wonwoo only stared at Mingyu as he tried to understand what he was saying. This is the most Wonwoo had ever talked to Mingyu and he was already blurting nonsense about teaching him how to cook.

Mingyu lowered his hand and cleared his throat. “What I'm trying to say is that I see potential in you and I'm willing to work with you, after hours, to get you to a point where you can cook with us. How does that sound?”

Wonwoo was speechless. Yet somehow, unconsciously, he nodded his head and agreed to Mingyus offer.

Mingyu grinned, reaching over to grab Wonwoos shoulder and hold it tightly. “Great, we'll start tomorrow night.” The chef looked around his messy kitchen and chuckled. “Finish up here then head home, you have a long day tomorrow.” He said as he started his stride up the stairs.

Wonwoo furrowed his brows but shook away his confusion as he strived to finish his project.

“Mince the parsley into fine pieces. It always looks better when you use it to garnish your meals afterwards.” Mingyu stood over Wonwoos shoulder, watching his every move with hawk-like vigor.

Wonwoos shoulders constricted and tightened the closer Mingyu came to him. He moved his knife across the cutting board, doing exactly what Mingyu instructed him to do with almost frightening ease and accuracy.

“Give me the knife” Mingyu interjected from behind. Wonwoo froze, the knife still a centimeter in the air. “What?” Wonwoo asked in a low, breathy voice.

“Give me the knife. You're so nervous that even I want to tense up. You're going to cut yourself.” Mingyu plucked the knife from Wonwoos hand and set it back down safely. Mingyu inched back away from Wonwoo and let out a defeated sigh.

“Do I scare you that much? Every time I come near you, you tense up and become as stiff as a statue.” Mingyu sounded hurt by the fact that Wonwoo was so nervous to be around him, but the mere fact also made him curious.

Wonwoo merely shook his head. He brought his now free hand up to adjust his wire rimmed glasses that sat neatly on his nose. “I’m just not very fond of talking.” The older man mumbled as he reached over to grab the knife Mingyu had taken from him.

Mingyu half smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned back and watched Wonwoo’s every move, from his knife strokes to the way he bit his lip in concentration. He was intrigued, watching the man before him as if he had never seen him before.

“Do you talk with anyone else in the kitchen?” Mingyu asked, raising his tone an extra octave to seem friendlier. Wonwoo sighed and pushed the finished parsley to the side of the cutting board.

“Sometimes Joshua. But I’m not very close with him.” Muttered Wonwoo as he focused on the next task at hand. He picked up a tomato, examining it carefully before he started to dice it into small cubes.

Though, Mingyu was no longer interested in the kitchen, or really anything pertaining to the food anymore. Wonwoo had caught his interest and it was going to take a lot to shake him out of it.

“Why don’t you talk to anyone e- “

Mingyu was cut off by Wonwoo dropping the knife on to the counter. “I think that’s enough for tonight. We have to be up tomorrow fairly early, so I think it’s best if we both went home.” Wonwoo scurried around, trying to put everything away as quickly as he could.

And before he knew it, Wonwoo was walking away, taking long strides towards the exit, leaving Mingyu to question what exactly had just happened.

        It had been a week after the lessons had begun with Wonwoo, and Mingyu was on the prowl to obtain more information about his star pupil. He had mulled over the words he had said, contemplating whether or not he should go through with his plan to ask Joshua about the quiet kitchen assistant.

        In the end, he voted in favor with doing so.

        It was in the middle of the day, the quiet transition from lunch to dinner, when Mingyu approached Joshua.

        He had carried various vegetables over to a workstation, where Joshua held deep concentration in the cake that he was decorating. He hummed a song to himself, too enthralled with his work to notice his surroundings around him.

        Mingyu rolled the vegetables on to the counter and tapped Joshua on the shoulder.

        The older man flinched, obviously startled by the sudden interruption of his thoughts. He turned around quickly to see who the culprit was. He had expected Seokmin or even Minghao to be behind him, not Mingyu, who stood too close in the cozy space.

        “Hi Chef,” Joshua said warily, wondering why Mingyu had suddenly come up to speak with him. Mingyu smiled, his smile flashing like a diamond. “Hey Josh.” He said, trying to sound as light and bubbly as possible.

        Joshua furrowed his brows and nodded his head, “What are you doing over here? You never come over.” Joshua said warily, switching his attention from the chef to the vegetables that sat on the counter.

        Mingyu shook his head, taking one of the knives from the shelves to begin his prep. “I came to ask a couple of questions.” He said blatantly.

        Joshua nodded, going back to decorating his cake. “Okay, shoot.”

        Mingyu, taking a deep breath, started to cut into a leak as he thought of what to say. “What do you know of Wonwoo?”

        Joshua halted his icing, stunned by the curious question. “Why do you want to know?” He asked in response, wondering why the chef was suddenly so intrigued by the kitchen assistant.

        Mingyu shook his head, not tearing his eyes away from the leaks. “I was just wondering about it. I don’t know anything abo- “

“Why are you suddenly so interested in Wonwoo?” Joshua questioned, speaking in a low, hushed tone. He was afraid that one of the other kitchen members would pick up on the almost sacred conversation.

Mingyu shrugged his broad shoulders casually as he focused his attention on the leak in front of him, feigning fake disinterest. “He’s on of my employees. Shouldn’t I be curious about who they are?” He said with a breathy laugh, as if he had no other intentions behind this conversation.

Joshua raised a brow, staring at his boss curiously. “He’s worked here a year, and not once have you ever bothered to ‘know more about him’ so what suddenly peaked your interest?” Joshua raised his voice a bit, going from a soft whisper to an almost loud mumble.

Mingyu shook his head, grinning at the young pastry chef. “No reason really, what do you know of him?” He asked the question once more.

Joshua pursed his lips into a thin line, turning away from Mingyu and focusing back on the cake in front of him. “I know that he likes chocolate, cats, and books. I also know that he’s not going to be one of your ditsy playthings that you tote around so carelessly.” Joshua grumbled. The older man quickened his movements around the cake, embellishing the décor at rapid speed as he spoke the harsh words to Mingyu.

Mingyu stared at Joshua in awe. Not once had one of his employees ever spoke to him like that. He was caught of guard by his words, but he couldn’t blame him for saying them. He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head slowly. “And what if he was to become one of my so called ‘playthings’?” Mingyu teased, scrunching his fingers up into quotations.

Joshua set down his frosting pipe, fully turning towards the chef. “Why would you use him like that? It’s sick a-“

Mingyu held up a finger to silence him. “It’s a good thing that I don’t plan on it. I see potential in Wonwoo and I plan on training him for the kitchen. I wanted to know more about him before I made a decision.”

Joshua blinked his surprise away, his face flushed red from embarrassment. “You just want to train him for the kitchen?” He repeated Mingyu’s statement, making sure that he heard him correctly.

Mingyu nodded his head, drawing his finger away from Joshua’s mouth. “Yes, nothing more, nothing less.” The chef grabbed his supplies from the kitchen counter and collected them in his arms. Though, before he left, he leaned in to the flustered Joshua, smirking.

“Though, by your reaction, you might be hiding a little something.” He whispered before turning away, walking towards his station at the center of the kitchen.

“Hey Wonwoo, can you chop these for me?” He called out as he got back to work.

Joshua, still staring at the empty space where Mingyu had stood, shaking his head of protruding thoughts and forced himself to get back to work.  

Wonwoo soon came rushing past, answering to Mingyu’s every beck and call.

[tangled23works]

Run To You

Part 2 of Whatever It Takes. 

Read it on Archive of Our Own.

Felicity was not in a good mood. Sleeping alone in that huge bed had never been comfortable but knowing that Oliver was lying in the guest room so close and yet so far away? That had been torture. After a night of tossing and turning, she was ready to admit that she had missed him like hell. But when she had asked for divorce she had made a promise to herself; to be strong, to find out who Felicity Smoak-Queen was without her husband’s influence and not to depend on anyone else ever again. It was a promise she intended to keep. Starting today.

She hopped in the shower while trying to decide on clothes and make-up. She had an interview she couldn’t miss and her mother always said that if you wanted people to take you seriously, then you had to dress the part. Choosing an appropriate outfit took more than half an hour but in the end the elegant blue dress was worth it.

She grabbed her bag and walked into the kitchen in a hurry expecting to find Oliver gone. He always woke up at an ungodly hour and used to tease her about the fact that she could not stand mornings.

She stopped in her tracks when she spotted her husband standing at the counter, pouring coffee into her favorite mug.

“What are you doing?”

He rolled his eyes. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he asked and pushed the mug towards her.

When she hesitated, he smirked. “I’m not trying to poison you, Felicity. You’re the one who filed for divorce if you recall. I have no intention of getting rid of you.”

Felicity huffed and accepted his offer. He was joking (as much as the man could joke) but Moira Queen was definitely capable of murder. The truth was though that if his mother wanted to get rid of her, she would probably hire a hitman or something. Poison was an unreliable method and one that would cast suspicion on her son.

She slid onto a stool and watched Oliver put one plate of scrambled eggs and two muffins on the counter. He knew that she couldn’t stand eggs that early in the morning and that she had an affinity for sweets that he didn’t share.

He remained standing and was eating his breakfast without further comment when she bit into the first muffin. The taste of vanilla, raspberries and cream cheese filling burst onto her tongue.

“Oh my God!”, she moaned and swallowed. “Where did you get these?”

When he arched an eyebrow, realization hit her. “You made these yourself?”, she asked slack-jawed.

“Why do you sound surprised?”

Except that was she wasn’t. At least not by his cooking skills. Early on in their marriage, she had discovered the CEO of Queen Consolidated wearing an apron and making an authentic Italian meal that would put professional chefs to shame. Back then she had been totally impressed. In her opinion, CEOs did not cook lasagna and tiramisu for their wives; they had housekeepers for that. When she had pointed out that fact, Oliver had laughed at her and had continued to wow her with meals and desserts fit for a restaurant.

So, no. She wasn’t surprised by his cooking abilities; she was surprised because this was the first time in two months that he had decided to feed her. It brought tears to her eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered and looked into her coffee mug.

He inclined his head in acknowledgement and didn’t comment on the fact that she had become emotional after a fracking muffin.

“I have to go. We have an early meeting with Starling Bank that I need to be prepared for.”

“About the funds they allocated to QC so that you could save it from the clutches of Isabel Rochev?”

Oliver stood still. “Since when do you keep track of the company’s financial situation?”

Felicity threw her hands in the air. “Be careful, Oliver. Your inner Moira Queen is showing. Next thing you know, you’ll be accusing me of being a gold-digger who married you for jewelry and money.”

He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant,” he clarified, “since when do you care about my job?”

“Since always.”

He nodded once and turned to leave.

Felicity was debating the merits of eating the second muffin when she heard his voice.

“You know why I never talk about the company?”

“Because you think there’s no way a girl from Vegas would understand what you’re talking about?”

“Felicity, drop the act. You couldn’t sound stupid if you tried.”

She actually blushed at his compliment. “Fine. What’s the reason then?”

“It’s because I didn’t think you cared.”

“Of course I care,” she countered.

But she couldn’t help but wonder if he was right. How would he know that she was interested in his work when she never questioned him about it? A large part of this distance between them was definitely his fault but maybe, maybe , there was a small part that was her fault too.

Most of the time she got the sense that Oliver was restraining himself. Perhaps it was the Queen upbringing. Be always in control, never show any human emotions. That seemed to be Moira’s life motto. Or perhaps Oliver was still fighting to be seen as a capable CEO and not the young reckless playboy he had been in college. No matter the cause, she had the impression that her husband was hiding and she was sick of never seeing his true self. Maybe by never pushing for more, she had made an ever bigger mistake than she had realized.

Well, maybe she could have accepted monosyllabic and curt answers before but not anymore.

“Have a good day. I’ll call if I’m going to be late.”

That was a fake promise if Felicity had ever heard one. “Don’t bother.”

“What does that mean?” He looked perplexed.

“Oliver, you’re always late.” It was a harsh but honest statement.

When he didn’t respond, she picked up her empty mug and put it in the dishwasher. This had been one of their biggest issues since the beginning. Felicity would always come second to Queen Consolidated.

Oliver was dedicated one hundred percent to his family’s company, to his legacy. Watching him save it from bankruptcy and turn it around would never cease to amaze her. She was damn proud of him. This success however was the reason why her husband was almost never home. Why he came to bed at two or three in the morning when she was already asleep. Why he traveled around the country making allies and earning the shareholders’ trust without ever thinking of inviting his wife to one of these trips. So, him saying that he would call if he happened to be late was just bullshit. And above all, it was bullshit that she didn’t have the time for.

She heard the door close and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to freak out about their marital issues. She had bigger fish to fry. After all, Oliver Queen was not the only one who had an important meeting to attend this morning.

“Well? How’s the operation ‘WBMW’ going?”

“Excuse me?”

Tommy went through the glass door and looked around wearily wondering if the CEO office was bugged. Not that he would put it past Moira Queen. In fact, Tommy would bet his sizable inheritance that Moira still had spies inside the company.

“Winning Back My Wife,” Tommy explained in a low voice. “I would call it ‘WBFSQ’ but it sounds weird. ‘WBMW’ has a nice ring to it,” he added, giving his oldest friend a cheeky grin.

“Fine.”

“Come on, buddy. You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Tommy walked towards the coffee machine, chose a pod and started pressing buttons. “I need details, Ollie. D-e-t-a-i-l-s.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”

“Like, are you still in exile or has the lovely Felicity given you access to the inner sanctum?” Tommy knew he was evil for teasing the poor man but he couldn’t help it. Honestly, Felicity kicking Oliver out of the loft and her bed was the most fun he had had in years.

Oliver accepted the cup of coffee he offered and sighed. “Is that a euphemism for sex?”

“Everything is a euphemism for sex, Ollie.”

“In that case, sorry to disappoint but I’m still in exile.”

Tommy groaned. “Please tell me that you’re at least sleeping in the same room as your wife…”

Oliver shook his head and drummed his fingers on the table. He seemed agitated today like his life was out of order. And thanks to this visit, it was about to get worse.

Tommy grabbed the cappuccino he had meticulously prepared and sat down. The scent of cinnamon rose to his nostrils. “And what are you doing about it?”

Oliver narrowed his eyes. “I’m…” He looked confused for a few seconds and then settled for, “I’m working on it.”

“Really? Please, elaborate.”

“What do you want me to say? She’s determined to keep me away. I’m trying to win her back as you so elegantly put it. That’s it.”

“Jesus, Ollie! Having a talk with you is like pulling teeth. Do I need to use Vodka like the good old days to get you to share? I wonder if Felicity feels the same way.”

Tommy wouldn’t be surprised if she did, to be honest. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if Felicity was mad at Oliver for a lot more than he originally thought.

Oliver had always had trouble with words. Thea seemed to be the only exception to that rule. Apart from his little sister, his friend was a lot more comfortable with showing affection in subtle ways than talking about feelings. The fact that Felicity did not allow him to touch her must be killing him. He would never complain of course or share his thoughts but Tommy knew without a doubt that Oliver Queen was irrevocably in love with his wife. But how would the idiot convince her of that if they were determined to be apart?

Tommy cleared his throat. As much as he was enjoying seeing the overconfident CEO like this, he had come to QC for a reason and it was time to face the music.

“Anyway, I have come across an interesting bit of information. Actually, I’m not sure I should tell you. I mean, you’re probably gonna bite my head off either way but if you happen to find out later on your own, you’ll figure out that I knew all along and then you’re definitely gonna kill me.”

“What’s wrong?”

Tommy hadn’t felt so nervous since the night of his 25th birthday party when he had to warn Oliver about Thea’s sleazebag ex-boyfriend and drug dealer, Shane.

“As you know, I’ve been dating a lovely assistant from PalmerTech-”

“Get to the point, Tommy.”

Tommy ignored his menacing tone and continued, “Last week she had to take an appointment for her boss. You see, this would have been a mere blip on my radar if she hadn’t told me that her boss is the Head of Applied Sciences division and more importantly, if she hadn’t mentioned the name of the person who asked to see him.”

“Who?”, Oliver growled.

“Felicity Smoak-Queen. Your wife applied for a job at Ray Palmer’s company. Ray is aware of the fact that the two of you are separated and you know that he has had his eye on Felicity ever since your wife graduated from MIT. You know, Laura - that’s the assistant by the way - told me that Ray has actually been single since he...”

Tommy watched Oliver run out of the office faster than that red streak in Central City and smiled.

“Go get your girl, Ollie.”

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveyss 015.

WHO ... was the last person you saw face to face? gram

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Ummm, Harrison? We were talking about health.

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kile asked me to respond to him. I came so close to doing it, but we are almost at a week without talking.

... was the last person you lent something to? Uhhh, probably my sister.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Em

... is the tallest person you know? Nick. I think hes 6′5?

... the shortest person you know? Goodness... I don’t know.

... your oldest (in years) friend? My mom?

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Alix. Since i was 5.

... is your youngest friend? I’m the youngest of my group... so ...

... is your newest friend? Probably my school friends

... is your closest relative? my sister? nephews? niece?

... was your favourite teacher? Mom looool. Or in college I really liked Dr. T

... was your least favourite teacher? ugh. shelly?

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? scott

... knows you the best? kile

... always beats you in games or sports? probably nathan lol

... who is the most creative of the people you know? Thats a great question. maybe my sister.

... is the funniest person you know? EM. definitely a goofball.

... is the most organised that you know? Em. 

... that you know has travelled the most? Nathan travels a lot, roger has gone to so many countries.

... has always been there for you? Hmm. 

... has given you the most personal gift? Mike

... has an annoying laugh? Marcia

... never forgets a birthday? sawyer

...,do you have the most in common with? I really don’t know. I don’t share a ton of the same interests with anyone.

...is the sportiest person you know? devin?

...was your last missed call? I think my sister

...did you last open your door for? mom

... has your heart? sigh. I don’t think it’s wanted right now.

... has your respect? people who are honest 

...do you share a special song with? i got my first kiss to the song “my best friend” by tim mcgraw

...do you miss right now? kile andrew. I miss who i thought he was. I miss talking to him all hours of the day. He felt like an extension of myself... almost like we shared this secret life where we could just .. exist together. without him, I just feel like I lost part of myself.

...last made you angry? the hose.

...did you last buy a gift for? I got my mom and my brother and kile something on my vaca.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? So kile spoiled me like crazy. I spent the day with mom and then at night, em, nathan, devin, and I got tanked lol.

...have you gone to a concert with? sister, janelle, uhhhh nicole

...can make you laugh? It is easy to make me laugh

...has taught you how to do something? Uhhhhhh, thats a very good question. Probably kile teaching me how to do a stats problem? 

...has lost something of yours? Uhh, not sure.

...has broke your heart? kile

...has stood you up? I haven’t been stood up

WHAT Is your favourite colour? blue

Can you do that most your friends can’t? memorize really well, deny bread, sign, talk neuro

Is your birthday? next weekend

Colour eyes do you have? blue with navy and gray

Form of transport do you take to work/school? typically the car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? Oh goodness anything that I put on spotify

Languages can you speak? english. some spanish and some asl but not fluently

Was the last thing you drank? diet coke

Was the last thing you ate? trail mix

Time did you wake up this morning? I wake up all hours lately and just stare out my window or at the ceiling. Eventually I just give up and get up for good. I think today was like 5am

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re kind of a mauve-y brown-y purple

Drink do you usually order when eating out? sometimes, not always.

Food can you cook well? I’m a great baker but I don’t cook all that often. Or rather I should say I am insecure about my cooking.

Animals have you had for a pet? Oh goodness. Dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens, turtles, pigs, horses, birds, parrots, fish, flying squirrels, lizards, ...

Are your initials? dls

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I like to play games, go on drives, see the world, see friends, window shop, idk

Movie do you know line by line? father of the bride, finding nemo, sleepless in seattle, youve got mail, something borrowed, how to lose a guy in ten days, made of honor, while you were sleeping

Band(s) have you seen in concert? I don’t remember all of them. relient k was one.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? food or clothes lol.

Colours your phone cover? right now it’s like a teal color. 

Part of the world would you love to visit? switzerland. europe. 

Question do you dislike being asked? when are you going to be married.

Subject were you good at in school? science

Careers do your parents have? mom is a manager of a store and I’m not entirely sure of what dad does. I think he owns a company.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? probably ON

Chocolate bar is your favourite? right now, probably uhmmm 

TV show have you watched every series of? tbh I couldn’t tell you

Radio station do you listen to the most? 99.5, 98.3, 103.5, 96.3, 

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts

Is your favourite dessert? anything mega rich

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? roller blade, skateboard, ice skate

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, kindness, consideration, humor

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? honesty, loyalty, kindness, slow-tempered, loving

Size pizza do you usually order? goodness I havent had pizza in so long.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I suppose right now mexican

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black. I want to wear more colors I think I refrain because of drawing attention to my figure.

Toothpaste brand do you use? I think right now it’s crest!

Sounds can you hear right now? one of the most dear movies to me.. Serendipity. I think about this movie all the time in my current situation. Maybe.

Is the weather like today? Steamy. But I have been very comfortable in the AC tbh

Are your plans for tomorrow? I’m going to sleep in. Relax. Spend the day reading in the pool, trying to not think about my situation. 

WHERE Do you keep your phone when not using it? I used to always keep it on me, but now I’m trying to get used to leaving it in the other room or just leaving it at home so I stop obsessing.

Were you born? Palos.

Do you go to unwind? On a drive

Is your best friend right now? I’m not sure where Kile is anymore. Emily is likely asleep. Nathan’s probably out lol

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Tbh, I can be alone and have a great time.

Is the nearest restaurant? like 3-4 blocks away.

Is the nearest beach? There is lake michigan, indiana dunes, or lakes. depends what you fancy.

Did you meet your closest friend? kile and I met on CM. em and I met thru Alix. 

Did you go for your last vacation? Pigeon Forge, TN.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? mall would be orland. Superstore would probably be like a walmart or a target. 

Did you last get an injury? I screwed up my foot somehow so I’m trying to nurse that.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? Hmm, probably when my sister would travel and we would stay in these exotic hotels.

Do most the local kids play? If you mean kids like 21 ish, there are some great local bars on Oak Park Ave

Have you been with your family? I mean, I’m going to need more detail in the question

Did you spend Christmas last year? home. Then the boys called for us to come over and see their new toys lol

Did your parents grow up? they grew up in roseland which is now a chicago ghetto lol

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? barefoot at the moment.

Would you like to go right now if you could? if I can be totally transparent, I would give anything to go sit on a park bench next to kile. 

Do you miss the most from your childhood? The innocent beliefs. the lack of trauma. 

Is the best restaurant you know? I donno, I’m fairly easy-going about restaurants.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? lol this local burrito joint

WHEN ...was your last vacation? two weeks ago. 

...did you graduate? this may. I really thought it would have been more exciting, but it was such a tragic time. 

...did you have your first kiss? on my 16th birthday

...did you learn how to swim? young. like 5-6? 

...did you have your first relationship? uhhhh 19.

...do you feel the most at peace? on a drive.

...do you usually fall asleep? I have no idea. I’m all over the place these days.

...do you usually wake up? thats a wide range of times.

...did you last watch a movie? i’ve been watching movies in bed all day. 

...did you last go to a party? yesterday

...did you last cry? today

...did you laugh really hard? I laughed yesterday. 

...did you buy something pricey last? my vacation I suppose. I really need to get new gym shoes because it has been a few years but man they are pricey.

...did you have an argument last? I haven’t argued this past week. I don’t know if I’m just worn down or if I have lost the fight in me? I’m not entirely sure.

...did you last have a sick day? donno really.

...did you last recieve a hug? I got about 400 hugs from the kids yesterday lol

...when is your best friend’s birthday? aug 16. april 20. march 13.

...did you learn how to drive? I refused to drive as long as possible. mom tricked me into drivers ed when I was about 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? umm.. I really don’t know.

HOW Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? one

Often do you shower? once per day usually.

Well can you cook? I am mediocre at the moment.

Many close friends do you have? just gets smaller and smaller.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? one sister two brothers

Often do you go swimming? I WISH all the time. tomorrow will be my first time in a long time. it’s hardly swimming cus its a small pool, but still.

Many times have you texted today? I’ve hardly touched messaging apps. I’m really behind on my correspondence. 

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I used to love it toasted with light butter and then pb

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? no coffee. I’m not huge on tea.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? typically the way I spent it last year. this year was supposed to be with Kile. For some reason I just glanced at the calendar and it had our weekend trip for march all highlighted. 

Are you feeling today? I’m ok. I mean, I’m not but it’s closer to being OK.

Serious are you about your career goals? I’m passionate about it.

Many rooms are in your house? 11 I suppose.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I excelled at them. 

Close do you live to your parents? very close to mom. thousands of miles from dad.

Close do you live to your siblings? My brother is around the block. another brother is maybe 30 mins away. my sister is thousands of miles.

Sensitive to criticism are you? pretty sensitive. its a fault.

Motivated to make changes are you? quite motivated.

Creative are you (1-10): 5

Hard working are you (1-10): 11.

Sporty are you (1-10): 1

Musical are you (1-10): 0

Do you prefer your eggs? uhh, moms scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up.

Often do you go out to eat? like once a month.

Would your best friend describe you? I don’t really know. probably studious, the caregiver, patient

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? if they know me well enough. 

Often do you meet up with your friends? like 2-3x a month

Important is religion to you? faith is important.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? like 5

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was an infant

Tech savvy are you? decent. not great but decent.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? I learn what matters to them and I support their dreams obsessively. I research things that matter, I ask questions, I write cards, buy gifts, and just tell them.

Often do you cut your hair? I need to cut it. asap.

Often do you paint your nails? I’ve stopped painting my hands since graduation. I just .. i cant.

Many countries have you visited? 1

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? haha

WHY  ... did you choose your username? because it’s one I use

... did you take this survey? it seemed to have some decent questions. I’m trying to work through stuff regarding kile right now, so it had some opportunities. right now I’m wondering if he still reads these. It doesn’t tell me if someone does, only if they like or comment on it. what does it matter, I don’t know. my mind just swirls.

... did you choose the career you did? I had a professor who showed me a video during a neuro class on aphasia and it was a CLICK moment.

...did you last leave the house? running errands for the party

...did you last give up on something? I am in the process. I don’t want to. my whole body aches and screams not to let go, but my brain is recognizing it is time.

...did you search the last thing you searched? i was converting celsius to fahrenheit 

...would you give up on someone completely? I think sometimes I have this mindset that I can help. I can support. I can enhance your situation. I want to help you grow. I want to be there for it all. I think the reality is I am learning that not everyone wants that. I don’t know that i’m helping as much as I hope, and it destroys me to think I was maybe making his life worse. 

IF You could live in any country which would you choose? switzerland

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? cat or dog

You could be famous for something what would you like? I don’t know that I would want to be.

You are sad, how do you combat it? Right now it is sitting with the feelings of loss. I’m trying not to just blow over it or pretend it isn’t real, but to just let it suck as bad as it sucks. I don’t know. I don’t have any magic way of moving through the sadness.

You can drive when did you learn? when I was 18

You could have any job what would it be? I would want to be somewhere with little human interaction tbh.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? europe. 

You could eat anything right now what would it be? nothing. loss of appetite.

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? maybe a book of poetry. or a biography.

You had a theme song what would it be? that would take me a while to come up with.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? harry connick jr.

You could act in any movie which would it be? I’m not sure I would

You get married what venue would you like? i think I would want to elope 

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have names I like on a list.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? farm. land. big ole porch with comfy furniture. lots of trees. a dreamy bedroom. i really want a window seat. You could go back in time what would you change? for the longest time I wished I could have gone to see John immediately. However, had I done that I would have left here and moved there and I wouldnt have the life I do now. So I guess maybe i dont really know.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? the memories without my dad were extremely pleasant. My mom tried her best.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? right now I’d want to know why Kile kept things from me. Like how do you wake up everyday OK with knowing I’m unaware. I wanna know what the plan was.. was he planning to meet me and just secretly break up with her? was he ever planning to move to me? Why did he never fight for me? how was I so easy to let go of? why wouldn’t he just break off what he was was “breaking off” to keep me? what was the alternative? keep us both?? why couldn’t he see how he was hurting me? why didn’t it matter? how does he just let go of me so simply and not c ---- but honestly I’ll never get those answers. I would probably be better off asking will i have my own family one day

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

CAN ... you ride a bike? yes

... you ski? i want to learn

... you bake a cake? oh yes.

... you sing well? mediocre

... you do your own taxes? badly

... you remain calm in a crisis? extremely calm.

... you do first aid? like... bandaid level yes.

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? almost entirely.

... you fire a gun? yes

... your parents drive? Yes

...your best friend dance well? probably not.

...you make people laugh easily? mom, yes lol

...stand up for yourself? if i get pushed enough, yes.

...you do a martial art? Nope

WOULD You like to learn a new language? absolutely.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? sure, but it would be very very very very unlikely for me to need to utilize that sort of skill set considering I live in the middle of a loooooooot of land. Not coastal at all.

Try a new cuisine? yes

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? oh boy. how i wish.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? I mean.. vaguely.

You likely win in a game of chess? I promise you no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? happily.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #231

too lazy to even think of song lyrics to put, just have this

Do bridges make you nervous? Somewhat. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Aha, Napoleon Dynamite. Do you have any older siblings? Four + one I don't know. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never. Are you currently having any cellular problems? My phone is ACTUAL horse shit. Have you ever tried to meet up with someone from online? With Sara, multiple times now. :') It'd be fantastic if when I go to South Africa I can meet Shaylee when I visit to the KMP, and my other friend Alyssa knows how badly I wanna meet Mark, so she insists on me going with her one day if he ever goes back to PAX East. I'd love to meet Connie, too. If you could have any car right now, what would you want exactly? Eh, I don't know car types. Something medium/smallish (I don't want very small for safety reasons) that's either burnt orange or red and just pretty and sleek. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? Um???????? YEAH????????????????? Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yeah. Do you collect issues of a certain magazine? No. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? Nah. Do you have stomach abs? Ha, I wish. Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No, but oh my god, so my friend Leon, right? He looks UNCANNILY like Leon Kennedy (WEIRD name coincidence????) from the Resident Evil series so much that he dressed as him one day. The resemblance is fucking unbelievable, especially when his hair was longer in the front. Do you have the Bakery Story app? Haven't heard of it. Do you watch Sister Wives? Haven't heard of that, either. How do you feel about polygamy? It's definitely not for me, but if it's KNOWINGLY between a consenting, happy group of people, you do you, man. Just hardcore practice safe sex. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? No. What would your parents say is the worst thing you’ve ever done? I haven't got a clue. I'd assume Mom would probably say me texting her "fuck you" even though she deserved it. Dad, probably the letter I wrote him after the divorce. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't even remember the Biblical signs besides like, swarms of locusts and humanity's focus shifting to materialism. I say rather we're having actually scientific signs of a mass extinction coming in the next few centuries, probably, or sooner. Historically, we're extremely overdue for one, anyway. Global warming, the ozone, overpopulation, pollution... you know, all that jazz. We're killing the earth. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? Blue Man Group. Do you have any vintage clothing? Man, I wish. Are you glad to accept any certain person’s hand-me-downs? "As long as it fits and it’s like, clean, I guess?" <<<< This. Have you ever bought anything at Rue 21? Yeah, I like that store. The graphic tees section, at least. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? Like, purple or something. NO, cyan. Gimme a Manson feel. What’s on your bed? Me, Teddy, Roman, my laptop and mouse, my pillows, sheets, blanket, phone... Your floor besides furniture? My bookbag and purse. Wires. Shoes. Your dresser? My meerkat collection, along with some other plushies. The top shelf in your closet? I have no clue. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? Uh, you mean taxidermy? No. I am viciously against hunting "trophies." HOWEVER, I'm deeply into vulture culture and have mixed feelings about making art of NATURALLY deceased wildlife... A part of me says that's disrespectful, and then the other says it's very honoring and respectful, to immortalize an animal's beauty as art after experiencing a good life. It's something I semi-want to get into, but again, I'm torn on my thoughts about it. Do you know anyone who goes fishing, but doesn’t like fish? Do you mean like, eating fish? I'll fish with Dad if he invites me (I otherwise stopped as I don't support it if not necessary for food, but this has always been my and Dad's "thing"), but I hate fish as food. If you mean they don't enjoy fish as animals, I don't think so. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? I don't have a clue. Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, besides simple kisses. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? No. Being out in the ocean scares me. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. How old was the oldest person you’ve dated? Maybe like, five years older. Do you know anyone who has their own podcast? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How many children do you want, and how did you decide on this number? None. I decided because 1.) I would be a terrible mother, 2.) I'm not putting anyone's well-being above my own ever again, 3.) I'm not dedicating the remainder of my life trying to raise someone who might end up not even caring about me, and 4.) they're fuckin expensive and I've been poor my whole life and will do almost anything to keep my bills and expenses in general as low as possible. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? Oh, definitely. I loved reading. ^ What were some of your favorite books? Little-little kid books included Stellaluna, What Makes a Rainbow?, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Rainbow Fish, 10 Minutes 'Til Bedtime... a lot. As like an elementary student, I was really into the Magic Tree House and Hank the Cowdog series. Then in middle school, Warriors dominated my bookshelf. Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? Visual. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I've never used any. What is your favorite coffee brand? N/A What is your favorite tea brand? N/A Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. I probably only will for maybe my wedding. How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? 21 I guess. Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? Uh. I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Which of your good habits has made the biggest positive difference in your life? Coming to understand I have to put myself first, probably. Or learning how to talk to myself gently. Have you ever dated someone who was very lazy? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I always quit too early for that, really. Do you overuse smileys? I don't think so. At least not anywhere near how I did as a pre-teen in the "LOL rANdoM!!!!!! XD" phase. Who is better; Madonna or Blondie? Idk. Who is better; Elton John or Billy Joel? BILLY!!!!!!! Name three website you visit every day: YouTube, Kalahari Manor, and deviantART. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? Tyler and I watched the first one. I don't remember what I thought about it, really. Have you ever worn black eyeliner? "Yeah. That’s the only kind I wear." <<<< This. Have you ever worn blue mascara? No. That'd look weird on me. Hm, or maybe not. Maybe it'd bring out my blue eyes. Ever spiked your hair? No. How long have you had a computer? I don't have a clue. Have you ever written something, and published it on the internet? Well yeah? When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Hell, forever ago when I was at Colleen's with Girt and we played CAH. Can you play chess? Nope. When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? Shit man, no clue. I don't know if I ever have. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? GOOD STUFF Do you prefer using pens or pencils? Pencils, considering you can erase. I avoid using pens if I can. Have you ever skipped for a long distance? Maybe as a little kid? Are you excited for the holidays? Halloween was disappointing, as I did absolutely zip. I honestly don't care about Thanksgiving. We always just go have dinner with Ashley's bigot in-laws. I'm VERY hyped for Christmas 'cuz I'm probably gonna be with Sara!! Can you play any instruments? I played the flute for years, but I don't think I could remember how to now. Are you a Facebook addict? Nah. Are you afraid of stink bugs? YEAH. I hate beetle-like insects. Do you have a printer? Yeah. Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? HAHAHAHA I HOPE SHE DOESN'T STILL HAVE IT, MY FRIEND ONCE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME IN THE MIDDLE OF EATING A HOT DOG AND I JUST REALLY HATE IT. Do you still live at home? Yeah. Are you currently enrolled in college? Yep. Do you care what others say about you? Way too much. Have you ever played Farmville? No. What is your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. What song represents your life the best? "Get Up" by Mother Mother makes me think of myself A LOT. Are you into anime? Yeah. Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. The Notebook. Always. Do you watch the Disney Channel? Not anymore. Do you swear? Way too much. Do you overthink things? You wouldn't BELIEVE how much I do. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A fuckin ginormous black lab until Ashley moved out. He wasn't even full-grown. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? As a kid, I was running on the gravel road and slipped and fell. I scraped my knees to the point of pus coming out. It took a loooong time to heal. I cried SO fucking loudly. Bad, bad memory made only worse because Dad got so annoyed by it that he yelled at me to shut up. Happy beyond words he changed so much after the divorce and stopped drinking. What is something you like to have conversations about? MARK and other YouTubers I love to an unreasonable height, meerkats, vidya games I enjoy, RP, bands I love... What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a clue. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? EW no. I hate that shit. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? By doing nothing, lately. I don't have anywhere to go, so no point in even dressing up. Plus I can't afford costumes. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Uh. I have zero clue. Have you ever eaten/drank something and then realized it was past the expiration date? Probably at some point. Do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone? I have an amethyst angel pin from my grandmother. When I was in high school and going through my most suicidal phases, I wore it on my shirt underneath my hoodies. What is something unusual that annoys you? Hm. Well, I think this resonates with a lot of people at least to a mild degree, but it really angers me when people don't put their shopping carts back and just sit them in/by a parking spot. Fucking lazy as hell. Does mind over matter work for you? Rarely. What was the last thing you were invited to? No clue. Well, besides the obvious things like my niece and nephew's b-day parties, I don't know. What item should never be shared? Stealing the last person's answer: your toothbrush. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? A cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes the cinnamon delight things instead of the potatoes. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? No. Does drinking alcohol make you act more like your true self? I don't know if it's my "true" self, but I'm more extroverted and calmer. Have you ever googled a name and found somebody? Uhhhh so this is probably so incredibly creepy, but I jumped through hoops finding Jason's landline a few days before my suicide attempt because I was absolutely desperate to talk to him. It was in the dead of night and his sweetheart mom picked up and spoke with me for like two whole hours trying to calm me down. Jason was asleep, apparently. I miss that woman. She was so patient and gentle that night. Okay I'm honestly getting pretty emotional recalling that night so MOVING ON. What is your favorite possession? My iPod, really. I've had it since middle school and has 1k+ songs on it that I, like an idiot, am too lazy to back up... soooo when it dies, which it's WAY overdue to do, I will probably tear the world in two. What makes you feel like you are young again? Laughing hysterically. Especially when I do this little squeaking sound. Girt pointed it out all the time and since then I've actually paid attention to it and it's fuckin cute tbh. Are you picky? You. Don't. Even. KNOW. You have one wish, what would it be? World peace. How tall is the person you like? Shorter or taller? She's just like two inches shorter at 5'2''. How tall was the tallest person you’ve dated? Fucking hell, Girt was AT LEAST 6', I'm sure taller. I only reached his chest. How many foreign friends do you have? Oh boy, plenty. Well, I'd say most are acquaintances, but still. I've been on the Internet too long. In which countries do they live? European countries and Australia are the ones I know off the top of my head. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? Hmmm, probably going skating with my friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? I don't know. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Nothing. Have you ever come up with your own game? As kids, my sisters and I did a lot. What is something you value a lot in your life? Having a home, food to eat, a family that loves me... the basics that unfortunately many people don't have. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Habanero peppers, I think. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? *shrugs* When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably by holding doors open? What's the most selfless act you have done? Probably compromising my mental health to help others. I dunno. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? wtf no get out of mah swamp Are you clumsy? If so, how? I'm a newborn deer ffs. I bump into and trip over shit every day. How many Lidls are there in your town? None. I think. I think the closest is in the next town over. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold and freshly opened 'cuz carbonation. Are you going to any concerts this summer? Ozzy Osbourne is very likely and I am NOT over it even though that was decided forever ago. Have you ever been to a concert? Once. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I have PTSD from that relationship, getting away from those thoughts isn't a thing until my brain decides it's over it. Like I mainly just look for a distraction, but honestly, the only thing that seems to be truly effective is time or sleep. Do you watch any TV shows where the setting’s a hospital? I enjoy The Good Doctor, but I've talked about my disinterest in TV plenty. Did your first real significant other change you at all? HI HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BREAKUP??????????????? Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Nah, not anymore. I broke that "promise" anyway through total cheat methods or whatever you want to call them, but I'm ultimately glad I thought I was obeying abstinence through that time considering honestly with how serious we were and how impulsive I was, I genuinely wonder if I would've wound up pregnant. Let's NOT IMAGINE THAT ROUTE. How many schools have you been to? Six. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Isn’t it lovely when your S/O smells good? I mean yeah, would anyone answer "no"???? Who’s your favorite actor? Mark is an official actor now don't even fuckin try me about this Who can make you laugh no matter what? *points up* + Sara and Game Grumps. Has a movie ever made you cry? Which one(s)? The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Titanic, Old Yeller, The Lion King, Coco, Finding Dory, Johnny Got His Gun... man, a lot. I'm a baby when it comes to movies. Do you keep a list of movies you want to watch so you don't forget? No. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? It was one of Highly Suspect's new songs. I think it was called "Snow White." What do you prefer -- the original fairy tales, or the Disney versions? Disney. Would you like more film adaptations of traditional fairy tales? Yeah, I enjoy them. Are there any comic books you'd like to see made into a movie? I don't read 'em. Are there any comic book movies you wish had been better? ^ Have you watched the Good Omens series yet? Thoughts? No. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Yrel from World of Warcraft is a fucking badass that needs to come back, I love Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 with her being a realistic, relatable, and headstrong female protagonist that takes no shit, Bayonetta is my Mommy like have you seen that girl work (she served as some of my first evidence I wasn't straight, actually), I love Cynder from The Legend of Spyro saga with her personality overall and story... there's a lot I love. OH! Ellie from The Last of Us is impossible to not mention. It's beyond debate she's one of the toughest females in video game history, and it was interesting to watch her grow up in a post-apocalyptic world where horrors and tragedy were so normal. Something you didn't like that happened in one of your fave shows/books? GINGA DENSETSU WEED SPOILER: I will forever be livid Jerome died sobs I loved him more than I love myself. THE OUTSIDERS SPOILER: Dally's death devastated me. A character (in anything) you wish hadn't been killed off? Vol'jin's death in WoW was fucking stupid and entirely anticlimactic. Make the guy warchief & then Blizz doesn't know what to do with him and lets trash kill him, such shit writing, look guys I'm fuckin tilted about- What was the last video you saw that made you smile? Oh my god, I watched a clip of Shane Dawson at the Mall of America with Jeffree today, and he was physically in a state of shock, entirely speechless, and in tears. My lips were about to split my face in half smiling and almost crying. He deserves all he's getting right now beyond words. What's something exciting that's happened recently? A Heist With Markiplier was the best thing that ever happened to me ok. What about something upsetting? My grandma going downhill so fast. Cancer cells are now clearly visible in her blood. Do you have any calluses on your feet? So possibly TMI so look away, but I used to walk SO MUCH that my feet, especially my big toes, have the thickest calluses you could probably imagine. They bother me so much that I want to see whatever kind of doctor that can get rid of the damn things. Nothing I've ever done has helped get rid of them. I've CUT areas off in hopes of them going away, but it always heals BACK into a callus???? What was your last big purchase? Teddy's vet visit. Have you ever eaten grits? Grits are disgusting. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat. Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? It depends on how long I wore the shirt and if I sweat. You'd never see me in shorts. What color is your favorite lip gloss? I don't use gloss. How many different states have you lived in? Just one. Are you allergic to bees? No. What color is the rim around your bedroom mirror (if applicable)? Black. What is your favorite flavor of saltwater toffee? I don't know if I've ever tried that. Have you ever vacationed on an island? No. What does your favorite bikini look like? Remember how I said you wouldn't see me in shorts? That goes even more for bikinis. What flavor was the last slushee you had? Strawberry limeade.

[emziley]

All of the even numbers!

P.s I hope this spaced out like I want it too because if not its going to be one hell of a read and I am sorry...2, Nicknames that didnt come from my actual name: Alma (because the woman in sister act who can’t hear 😂) er thers probably others I can’t think of right now…4, Longest my hair has ever been:Down to my butt. Never again.6,What is one (1) Item on bucket list: To meet all my long-distance frienfs in person8, Oldest pice of clothing I still wear:Umm I probably have socks from when I was a kid I still wear XD idk10, How grammatically correct are you when you text?:I typically text how I would actually talk out loud so not very…12, what foreign country would you like to visit and why? :Probably Ireland is first on my list because of how beautiful it is and how much of my family came from there 14, how old where you when you had your first kiss? 17 or 18 I think? I was a senior in highschool 16, have you ever hosted a wild party? Wild? No. 18, How many of your facebook friends to you actually hang out with?Like… 7 max not including family? 20, on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy decorating for hollidays Uhh probably like an 8? I enjoy how they look but the effort of putting them up and taking them down I could do without lol 22, what is your go to starbucks drink?I have never had starbucks :/24, Dogs or Cats?Why choose?26, have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself?Not really? I mean, If I make pasta it could feed a large family…. 28, Have you ever butt dialed anyone?Probably.30, How early do you start celebrating christmas?Right after thanks giving XD32, Are you fluent in more than one language? I wish I was tbh….maybe some day…34, Have you ever been on a successful diet?I feel like “successful” and “diet” arent words that can really be used together in a positive way.36, how good are you at communicating through facial expressions?Better than with words…38, Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was over? Not that I can remember…40, Does your home have a fire place?We have a fernace and then a fake electric one in the living room42, If you could have one (1) super power what would it be and why?The power to manipulate probablility because you can have anything you want? Like whats the probably of me getting pizza tonight? Probablg like 40% but I could turn that 40% into 100% and definatly get pizza tonight.44, do you listen to religious music? Not typically, no.46, what is your ACT score?🙃48, On a scale of 1-10 how good of a driver would you consider yourself? Idk like a 5? I dont have my licents because im scared to drive but the times I did go out and drive I wasnt bad.50, How easily do you cry?VERY. You could look at me wrong and there will be tears. Or a puppy could do something cute and water works are on the way lol52, when you hang out with your closest friend what do you usually do? My closest friend is my partner so we’re usually cuddling or playing games or watching something on YouTube or Netflix54, Can you play any musical instraments? If so which ones?Yes! I can play the guitar, steel drums, and piano (albeit not well) , I can sing and honestly, would like to learn more instraments soon!56, What was the last CD you bought?Either X or ÷ by Ed Sheeran for my sister for christmas I think58, What day is your laundry day?Right now, Monday-Saturday, I dont typically have a specific day just as long as its not sunday, thats dads laundry day!60, How long have you known your best friend?4 or 5 years now?62, do you have any stickers on your laptop?Currently I don’t have my own laptop, but I use my moms and she has a message from my aunt tapped on it kind of like a sticker? It says “Teddy grams 3 points” from when they where doing weight watchers XD64, what is your favorite flavor ice cream?Mint chocolate chip!66, Star Treck or Star WarsI haven’t seen either tbh but I want to! 68, Have you ever acted in a play or musical?Yes! Anything goes, A mid-summer nights dream, 9 to 5, Mrs. McThing, and Tarzan! I still have A mid-summer nights dream on DVD lol I wish I could again…70, What is the shortest your hair has been?I think chin length? 72, Do you like to go fishing?My dad told me a horror story once about when he went fishing with his brother… I’ll spare you the details but I’m afraid to go…but I have before and I dont have the patients tbh I do love fish though!74, what was your favorite holoween costume and how old where you?I was the I think red M&M? Idk how old I was but probably between 4 and 876, How many pillows do you sleep with?Between 1 and 4. Depends if Im sharing.78, How many friends of the oposite gender do you have?I….Really dont know? I think half of them don’t even know their own gender tbh80, How long have you been at your current jobI currently dont have a job :/82, How flexible are you?Psyically not very, but im working on that!84, what is a phrase you say the most?“Why are you like this” is probably my favorite XD 86, Do you own any home made clothing?Some of my cosplays are home made, along with a prom dress! 88, Have you every given anyone CPR No, I know how to but I think in the situation I would panic and freeze and not even be able to…90, Discribe your sense of humor?Odd and all over the place. 92, What is your favorite cereal?Probably honey smacks! 94, Have you ever had a TV show theme song stuck in your head?I get a few stuck in my head from time to time, like Steven Universe or Gravity Falls and stuff 96, Do you believe in life on other planets?Yeah…. I mean bacteria and stuff is tecnically life? But there’s gotta be something outside our solar system too…98, what is your biggest fear?Dying alone or being abandoned….100, are you still friends with anyone from highschool?Yes.102, How patient are you?With other people? Very. With myself? Not really. With waiting for something to happen? Not at all. 104, Do you eat meat? Yeah, im picky about it though…106, Have you ever bought anything from the flea market? I don’t think so?108, Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you dont like?Unfortunatly.110, Have you ever warn glasses?Yes! I did when I was young, went a few years without needing them and now wear them again.112, Are your birth parents still together?Yes.114, what is your favorite type of cookie?Peanut butter blossoms. The peanut butter ones with the Hershey kiss in the middle 😍116, How often do you smile when getting your picture taken? I usually smile I think? If im taking selfies I sometimes do a pouty face but…?118, what is your oldest memory?I have a very distinct memory of sitting in my crib with my legs hanging out the side. I don’t know why I remember THAT but I do120, How often do you snort when you laugh?I dont know? Not too often… but if you get me really laughing I will and it makes me laugh more. Right now I’ve just been laughing and coughing so~122, What is your favorite Disney song? Probably “How far I’ll go” from moana? Or like anything from mulan XD124, What is your Mayers-Briggs personality type? INFP-T 126, one (1) thing yoy wish people would stop posting on social media: Pictures and shit of animal abuse. I get the posts like “hey this is a shit thing to do” but do we really need photos or videos of it?…. and when reported to facebook you’re told it “doesn’t violate community guidelines” like bull fucking shit it doesnt. 128, do you prefer Credit Cards or cash?Cash, its easier for me to keep track of, and money gives me anxiety. 130, What is your astrological sign?I fall on a cusp birthday so I am technically both a Scorpio and Sagitarius. 132, Do you have any hidden talents?I don’t even have any visable talents…134, What gives yoy motivstion to do well in life?I dont know but whatever it is isn’t working.136, on a scale od 1-10 how much are you like your father?Looks: like 3, personality: 8ish 138, A moment when you where pleasently suprised?Probably when Tom actually said yes to dating me after 3 days of waiting. At that point I gave up hope at the words “I’ll have to think about it” so when they said yes it was just~ 😶140, what type of shoes do you wear the most?My penguin sneakers! Or my boots… either one lol142, Favorite song to sing in the shower?I have a whole playlist of songs just to sing… and my top 5 from that in no particular order is 1. Red flavor by red velvet 2. Evil by shinee, 3. Good bye by Taemin, 4, cotton candy by astro and 5, Nightmare by shinee. They’re all kpop so its kinda hard 😂144, Have you ever lived on a farm? I mean where my house is used to be a farm? We have barns and stuff. We also grow some fruits and vegetables and at one point had ducks? but I wouldn’t really say I lived on a farm… 146, what tv show or movie do you quote or make referances to the most? Probably steven universe? Idk148, Have you ever gotten stiches?No, and I probably wouldn’t be able yo handle if if I had to. 150, What is your favorite youtube channel?As embarrassing as it is to say to you~ it probably will always be artfulImpersonator 😶😶😶 152, on a scale of 1-10 how well do you work with others?Im going to say 5 because it REALLY depends who im working with. 154, Apple or PC?….uh they both have good qualities, I guess it depends what Im using it for, but I guess PC for casual use156, Have you ever seen a broadway play or musical? I seen Newsies and almost fell asleep…. not because it was a bad show or anything but because it was a school trip and I was just exhausted. 158, Have you ever uttered a spoke hashtag? #yes. Usually as jokes but uhhh sometimes I get carried away. 160, What is the longest you went without sleep? Probably 24 hours? Maybe less? 162, Disney or Nickelodeon? As I kid I was a Disney kid, but Now probably Nick?164, On a scale from 1-10 how much are you like your mom?Looks: 8 personality: maybe a 6?166, Ear bud or Ear muff style headphones?Ear muff style! Ear buds hurt my ears :(168, any peircings besides earlobe? Nah,170, Showers or baths?I like them both. For actually cleaning showers but for relaxing baths. Something about the warm water :)172, do you prefer bottled or tap water?Depends where I am? At my house Tap but most places bottled.174, Do you have any guilty pleasures you’d be comfortable talking about?Guilty pleasures? Pleanty. Comfortable talking about on a public forum such as tumblr? Not really XD…. I mean I guess liking one direction still is a guilty pleasure? Or some of the anime’s I watch? I’ll mention those ones176, Ever had a new years kiss exactly at midnight? No…. I found im usually grumpy on new years? I wonder why? 🤔178, Have you ever gave money to a homeless person? I dont think so :( I dont usually have that much on me… 180, What is your least favorite food? Anything slimey. Im a very texture based eater… 182, Do you like wearing hats? When im not wearing cat ears, yes!184, SAT score?🙃🙃186, anyone in your family currently serve in your countries military? I think my cousin, Yeah?…or he wants to or something im not sure…188, what celebrity would you like to play you in a movie about your life? Can I just play myself? 190, Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, and it needs to be dyed again! Idk what color I want to do next though :/192, whats the first site you visit after opining a web browser? Depends what I went in the computer for but I guess generally Tumblr or Facebook 194, where you involved in any academic clubs in school? Unfortunatly, no. 196, are you comfortable watching R rated movies? Yeah, im fine with them.... unless im with my parents 😨198, what's the first thing you do when you wake up? Check my phone.200, tell us something most people don't know about youThat I have a collection of stuffed giraffes in my closet from when I was a kid. I no longer collect them but alot of them are still sitting in a bag in my closet because I've grown attached...

[imagineclaireandjamie]

A Hundred Lesser Faces: (Five)

Notes from Mod Bonnie

This story stems from the premise: what if Voyager!Claire had gone first to Lallybroch instead of directly to the print shop in Edinburgh?

Links to past installments:  (One) (Two) (Three) (Four)

My own Jamie,

Almost six months ago, I learned that you survived Culloden. You made history, my darling! Q.E.D.

As many nights as I’ve lain awake in those months cursing myself for not having looked sooner, I know I shall thank God every day of my life for the series of events that led me at last to the right pages, to you. When I fully realized what it meant— that you had been spared the death you faced so bravely that April morning, the death that has haunted my thoughts and my nightmares for so long— It was like a wound, the oldest and deepest scar ripped back open, inch by inch. I was completely laid bare from it, from the storm of emotions warring within me: such joy, such anguish for the lost time (how many more years could we have had, Jamie, had I looked?), such fear—and then joy again, because the years of grief could now be ended, and *against all reason!* I could see you again.  

Likewise will I thank God every day for the small voice in my head that nudged me at the very last moment to go first to Lallybroch, rather than to your shop in Edinburgh. Please thank Jenny for me. She explained everything. 

It is for the best, that it happened this way; easier, I think, for all concerned. Perversely, despite the shock, I find myself smiling in this moment: for we promised there would be no lies between us, remember? It is a promise I make to you again, today. You can know, then, with absolute certainty, that it can be no lie when I tell you that I am glad — glad and on-my-knees grateful to Heaven— that you have found true happiness. 

After all the pain and the loss, the war and the hunger and the suffering you’ve endured, to know that you have a wife with whom you’ve found something new and wonderful; that you have had the joy of holding your own children in your arms, to have seen them be born and grow? It is a balm, Jamie, a comfort to know that despite all the cruelty fate has dealt you—dealt us— you have been blessed with such great and abundant joy. Never would I wish anything less for you, just as I know you would not for me. 

It is my deepest prayer that as you read these words, you will know the truth of them, will be able to feel my heart through the page, and KNOW that from its very depths, I wish you every happiness with your wife and your daughters. 

And yet I couldn’t leave, couldn’t go back from whence I came, without telling you about another little girl, who was born the 23rd of November the year of Culloden. 

I hope the contents of the brown packet, here enclosed, tell you more than any words could about your daughter—our daughter—Brianna Ellen.

Jamie was shaking—no, he was — crumbling. 

Every breath wrenched through him, agonizing, and the tears were falling, blurring his vision. He had to sit back on his haunches to keep them from dropping onto the page and blurring her precious words. 

Her words

CLAIRE’s

His hands were quaking with

November

with EVERYTHING

Jesus, GOD in 

Couldn’t

He COULD NOT think

Thoughts, words, they were—

They failed him, simply abandoned him as he shook on the study rug. Only his body seemed to know the way, for he was snatching for the parcel, tearing at the string binding the paper. There was an oily, unidentifiable wrapping within, then a layer of soft flannel, and then —   

The sound that escaped him—He didn’t even know there existed such a sound within him. It was terrible and beautiful at once, and though it was in no language, what he felt, his lips over and over formed a word, the only word he could muster: “No….NO….” 

For as though a great knife had cut through those terrible, looming stones on the accursed hill, Jamie held his infant daughter, newly-born, sleeping there in the palms of his hands. The portrait—picture?—painting?—was all in shades of grey, and yet somehow lifelike as a true bairn in miniature before him, like peering through a spyglass straight into that distant life.

He had not a single thought to spare for how, or by what means…

He could only trace the bitty wee fists curled on the blanket, the sweet wisps of hair on the tiny skull.

“Oh, mo chridhe…” 

He couldn’t look away, could not even blink, though tears were coursing downward. 

God, the child —this very child — 

—delivered safely into the world and into the arms of her mother—her mother.…

The babe had lived—LIVED.

The pad of his thumb caught slightly as he caressed her cheek, and the portrait slid upward just enough to reveal — “Ohh…Jesus…”

She was grown to a toddling child, eating a cake that was smeared all about her face. And damn him if he didn’t LAUGH amidst the weeping to see just how pleased with herself she looked for it, a cuddly toy raised in triumph like a sword, four wee teeth visible as she giggled out a victory cry.

There she was again, older, standing in a great snowfall, naught but wee cheeks and grinning eyes visible under the great padded suit she wore against the cold. 

Older, still. Three? Four? Sitting proper-like in a pretty frock with her hair combed smooth. 

Such a sweet face—

Older, still, standing with a wee box in her hand beside a giant something with wheels, proud and eager, eyes bright.

And then he was gasping as the spyglass world ignited into blazing, brilliant colors. He saw his daughter’s hair, red and victorious and shining against the black coat of the huge dog she hugged tight; saw the pink flush of her cheeks, spread down her neck as it always did his, when he was happy and exuberant.

On and on flashed the paintings, these captured moments of his daughter’s life.

Going fishing and doing a damn fine job of it. 

Playing uproariously in the sea-surf, splashing and laughing with complete abandon.

Absolutely lovely as as she grew out of girlhood, and God, how vividly he could see Claire in her, as she did—in the lines of her, the way she held her mouth, tilted her head—that broad, clear brow that begged to be kissed, reverently—

Laughing, carefree, safe. 

Braw and strong as she chopped wood. Good lass!

Gazing softly out a window, seeming not even to notice her image being captured. 

On 

and on

and on 

until he was gasping and looking at the last portrait, of an achingly beautiful young woman sitting on a rock before a fire, making camp for the night, perhaps. Her face was cast in the same golds and red as her hair; the dreams of her heart seeming to dance across her eyes—as they always did her mother’s. His daughter…grown.  

The paintings were strewn all around him on the carpet, a tableau of her; her life. On his knees he bowed over them, overwhelmed and shuddering with great sobs as he looked, and looked, and looked.

She was—

She would be—

…..she was well.  

The child HAD been safe.

It hadn’t been for naught. 

He fell, then, and sheltered her like a cloak, keeping his child, his daughter, safe and shielded from the world for just one moment; safe…his….

Brianna

It was only sudden, ripping, screaming panic that yanked him out of the quiet calm, searching wildly, fumbling with desperate hands—

But relief tore from his throat just as suddenly as he found a second page: 

Not everything can be captured in a photograph, of course (that’s what they’re called. Did I ever tell you about them?), and there’s so much I long to tell you about this wonderful person.

Will you believe she’s been taller than me since the age of thirteen? She carries it like a queen, though, like I imagine your mother did. She doesn’t slouch or try to hide. Not Bree. 

Oh, yes: most people call her Bree, for short. 

She bites her nails, when she’s thinking hard. I don’t even think she notices when she’s doing it.

She’s absolutely brilliant, Jamie, studying at one of the top universities in the world to be a historian. You would be so very proud of her. 

She’s not perfect, of course. Perhaps her biggest flaw as half-Scottish is that she HATES whisky, haha. I’ll do my best to win her over, though, don’t you worry. 

She’s a spectacular artist, another way in which she takes after her grandmother. She captures you, completely. 

That statement, actually, is true in more ways than one. Our Brianna is captivating, in every way. 

She’s an absolute wonder with maths and figures —as natural to her as breathing, it seems, just like they are for you. 

She smiles in her sleep, just like her father. 

She’s so like you, Jamie, it breaks my heart. 

After Frank died—But Lord, I haven’t said anything of him. 

It was two years ago. He had a good, full life, and he loved Bree more than anything in the world. He could have been cruel, could have taken out his anger upon the child, the very breathing manifestation of the ways in which I’d betrayed him—but he didn’t. From the moment he first held her, Frank loved her as his own, and while things between he and I were tenuous, to say the least, I will always love him for the father he was to her, for the sacrifices he made for her. I hope that is a comfort to you, and not a blow. 

After he was gone, after giving her time to grieve, it felt important that Bree should know about you, about the stones. It took—well, it frankly took a bloody lot of luck and a jolly good miracle to get her to believe, *but she does.* She loved Frank with all her heart, but she knows now that Jamie Fraser was her father. IS her father. 

You should know that she was instrumental in finding you. She persisted when I would have faltered under the doubts and the fears. As ecstatic and overjoyed as I was at the news that you were alive, I was so afraid Jamie, for you, for me, for Bree. 

Even though I know she, too, was plagued with fears, she remained strong; and she kept ME strong. Even at the very stones, when I was so wracked with guilt over leaving her forever that I would have stayed, for her sake, she was there to strengthen me, to tell me not to look back. She said that she was giving me back to you, and that if I didn’t go, *she* would. ‘Someone has to find him and tell him I was born,’ she said, and she meant it. 

THAT is the kind of person your daughter is growing to be, Jamie: determined, and brilliant, and selfless for the sake of those she loves; *and that includes you.* She asked me to give you a kiss, just from her. I’ve left it here, on the page, for you to keep, always. 

Brianna has been the greatest joy of my life since we parted, a joy that would have been richer only if I had been granted the grace to raise her with you at my side. Thank you for her. THANK YOU for making me go on, for her sake. Despite everything, it has been a good life. Even in those long years of grief, I had the joy of seeing you every day, of seeing your spirit, there in the child of our love. And I’m so very grateful. 

I’ll keep telling her about you. There wasn’t enough time, before I left. She’ll be able hear everything, now. I promise. 

Jamie shook his head hard, fast, feeling for a third page that wasn’t there. “No…” 

Be happy, Jamie Fraser, and LIVE. 

“No,” he moaned. his eyes clinging to the fleeting words, even as he begged them not to stop. “Claire…”

Love, always, 

“Mo nighean donn, don’t —  

Claire

Those next seconds were everlasting, each terrible, catastrophic truth echoing in his soul like the toll of a great bell, over and over. 

She had been here

Claire had been here

She left

Claire left

Because Jenny—

She was sitting at the bottom of the staircase, crying hard into Ian’s shoulder. When the study door crashed open, her head shot up and she jumped to her feet, her face pure terror. “Jamie, mo ch—”

“When?” He snarled it, and Jenny convulsed with a deep sob like a swallowed scream, and covered her face with her hands. 

Jamie was thundering toward her, a veil of red over his vision as he demanded, “WHEN?” 

Ian—in a shockingly deft and smooth movement given the leg—shot to his feet, shielding Jenny from Jamie’s rage with his body. 

In all truth, the rational parts of Jamie’s mind were glad for Ian’s presence, for that was the only thing keeping the blood rage from taking control, from taking revenge. “WHEN was she here, woman?” he bellowed over Ian’s shoulder,  “How fucking long did ye see fit to keep—”

Ian shoved him, eyes blazing. “You’ll NOT talk that way to—” 

“Mor—ning—”Jenny sobbed, her voice a strangled whisper, “—gone before—Jamie! Oh, Jamie, I ken I’ll—never for—give mys—for—” 

“HOW MANY MONTHS?”  he roared, overtaken by despair, overtaken by rage, becoming a nameless beast under it. “HOW MANY YEARS, JENNY?” 

“This morning—” she wailed, “To—TO—DAY—” 

Nothing. 

Silence. 

And then a great wave, tall as a mountain, rose up within Jamie, blasting out everything within him in a single cataclysmic moment of clarity. 

Today

T O D A Y

Then she was—

She could be no more than—

He vaulted up the stairs four at a time, paying no heed to Janet and Wee Ian and the others who were gathered at the top of the staircase, wide-eyed and pale and gaping.

Less than a minute later, he thundered back down past them all, breeks only half-laced under his boots, traveling bag on his back. 

“No,” Jenny moaned, grasping at his sleeve as he passed and trying to hold him back. “Jamie, ye canna—Ye CANNA catch her, she's—GONE—she’s—”

He shook her off, hard enough to knock her off-balance, and ran to the kitchen, shoving what food he could lay his hands on into his sack and moving straight to the door, so crazed with determination he could barely see what it was he took. Food didn’t matter. Fatigue, already tugging at him, didn’t matter. Claire was— 

“Jamie, she’s nearly a day ahead—” Jenny caught the handle just as he did, eyes absolutely wild. “Ye dinna even ken where she’s bound or—” 

He spared his sister one look, and let all the hate and contempt, the rage and the betrayal show there as he growled, “I ken precisely where she’s bound.” 

[aughtpunk]

McHanzo Week 2017 - Day 6

Exactly one week before Jesse McCree retired from active duty Soba and Udon laid four eggs.

They didn’t actually lay the eggs, explained his loving husband, Hanzo McCree, for the first of many times. His dragons parted with a fraction of their energy in order to summon dragons for their future children. Then they created crystal cocoons around said energy to protect the summoned dragons until the children were born. The fact that said method looked a lot like laying eggs was purely a coincidence.

Children? Jesse had asked. The thought of having a family with Hanzo had crossed his mind, moreso ever since the accident.

Children, Hanzo responded. He was smiling. Beaming. Scared and hopeful, like a good parent should be. So was Jesse. They sat together in front of the eggs often after that day, wondering about what the future would bring. And what the exact child-to-dragon ratio would be.

***

In the biggest twist of all, Jesse loved paperwork. He found it relaxing in it’s own odd way. Something about checking off boxes, signing in triplicate, organizing folders within folders within folders within sub-directories scratched an itch Jesse didn’t even know he had before he got the desk job. And since that meant Commander Fareeha Amari didn’t have to do any paperwork it was win-win for the both of them.

It was because of Jesse’s rather intense filing system (that made Hanzo purr every time he described it in detail) that let him discover the out-of-place file on his computer’s system shortly after its creation. A rather innocent looking file that even followed his naming convention. He might have even opened it and signed it blindly if it wasn’t for the movement in the corner of his remaining eye.

“I know you’re there, Sombra. Come on out.”

Silence. Jesse sighed. “Kerrigan? Fantasma? Course, I could always call you Mar-”

A bright explosion of blue and white light burst in front of Jesse as Sombra appeared. She held up her hands in defeat. “Fine! Fine. I will accept that ancient codename, but only this time.”

“Howdy Sombra,” Jesse said with a tip of his hat. “How’s the Mister and Misses?”

“He’s on a world tour with some ‘fresh young talent’ from his school and she’s busy working on the reconstruction of Seoul,” Sombra said as she sat down on the edge of Jesse’s desk. “And me, you ask?”

“I didn’t, but continue.”

“I’m here on business.” Sombra flicked her wrist and the file on Jesse’s computer opened with a musical bweeoop. “A little bird told me that you and Hanzo are looking to adopt.”

“Not exactly, but I can’t help but notice that these are adoption papers. That I and Hanzo have mysteriously already filled out. Care to explain?”

Three pictures popped up on Jesse’s screen. Sombra leaned over and pointed to them as she talked. “Clark, six years old. Was going to Lúcio’s school until a week ago when his parents died in a car crash. His extended family has washed their hands of him due to his hearing issues-”

Jesse felt his cell buzz in his back pocket. “Sombra-”

“-His extended family have also had their various assets liquidated and put into a savings account for Clark but don’t tell Lúcio that-”

His phone finally stopped buzzing only to start again right away. “Sombra, hang on-”

“The girls are sisters, Seo-yun is eight and Min-seo is three. Lost their entire family during the attack on Seoul and were badly hurt on top of it. Seo-yun lost her right arm and doctors say Min-seo is going to need at least a basic exoskeleton bracing to walk again-”

“Sombra!” Jesse slammed his hand onto his desk loud enough to interrupt her. “Sombra, sweetheart, before you tell me about anymore kids that just break my heart-”

“There is one more now that you mention it-”

“Could you just, and this is all I’m askin’, could you just explain why you want me and Hanzo to adopt these kids in particular?”

Sombra’s knowing smile grew into a full-out smartass grin as she flicked her wrist, changing the pictures on Jesse’s computer to ones that were clearly taken during medical exams. The boy was putting up a fight while getting a shot, the oldest girl having a basic prosthetic fitted, and the youngest being shown how her exoskeleton worked.

All three children had dragon tattoos wrapped around various parts of their body.

“Because, my dear cowboy, they’re your kids.”

Jesse’s cell finally stopped buzzing only to be followed up by the ‘you got a text’ chime. He fished the phone out of his pocket and wasn’t too shocked to see missed messages from Hanzo and a single text.

The eggs hatched.

“You mentioned there’s another kid, right?” Jesse said, not taking his eyes off his phone. “Where’s their pictures?”

“They’re a, let’s say,” Sombra snapped her fingers and the photos on Jesse’s screen vanished, “special case. I can bring you to them if you’d like. I’m sure Dr. Klockner’s done by now.”

“Doc Klock, wait wait wait, the kid’s here?  Here  here?” Jesse stood up fast enough that his bad knee complained with a loud pop.

Sombra touched the side of her head. “I believe they were brought in last night, and, yes, here comes Dr. Klockner to speak to you about it. Shall I give the two of you the illusion of privacy and leave?”

“Might as well. And Sombra?”

“Yes, cowboy?”

Jesse smiled as he sent Hanzo a text comprised mostly of smiling emojis back. “You can go ahead and push through that adoption paperwork.”

***

Out of all the potential futures Hanzo would daydream about, the one he never thought would come true was ‘homeowner’. But there he was, standing side-by-side with his husband in front of their brand-new home. A simple house, nearly identical to the other ones in the neighborhood, but it was close to the Hanamura Watchpoint (formerly Shimada Castle) and big enough for the six of them. Because there were six of them. Because he had a family.

“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’?” Jesse asked as he wrapped an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders. In theory the two of them were supervising the move while other people did all the hard work.

“I was thinking about how angry Satya will be when she finds out you are forcing the new recruits to help us move in.” Hanzo stepped aside just in time to avoid one of said recruits as they stumbled by holding far too many boxes for their own good.

Jesse placed a hand against his heart. “Sugarplum! Don’t make me sound so cruel! All these nice recruits volunteered to help a pair of old men out.”

Hanzo gave his husband, the love of his life, a look. “One. We are not old.”

“Considerin’ I was certain I’d be dead before my twentieth birthday forty-two is pretty damn old-”

“And two, I overheard Agent Riggs and Agent Caroline saying that this, ‘was way better than doing extra laps’.”

Jesse did his best to not look guilty, and failed, before giving up and nuzzling the top of Hanzo’s head instead. “Do you think we should check on the kids? They’ve been suspiciously quiet. Which means they’re up to something.”

“I am sure they are fine, Jesse. Genji is watching after them.”

“Yeah you’re, wait, Genji and Zenyatta, or just-”

What followed could only be described as a loud, short parade of chaos and dragons zig-zagging through the small crowd of agents. At the head was Soba, roughly the size of a horse, with Clark and his own pocket-sized orange noodle dragon hanging on for dear life. After Soba was Udon being ridden by Seo-yun and Min-seo with their yellow and red dragons wrapped around their bodies in what looked to be a poorly conceived attempt at seat belts. As the laughing children and roaring dragons vanished around the side of the house they were followed by a slightly-exhausted looking Genji carrying his own sleeping child.

“Hey Jesse can you hold Wren for a second thanks!” Genji handed his daughter over to to Jesse before sprinting after the others. There wasn’t any screams or crashes after Hanzo lost sight of all of them, so he assumed everyone was okay for now.

Jesse shifted the somehow-still-sleeping toddler onto his hip. “Did you see Sprue in all of that?”

“I did not.” Hanzo sighed,

“You go find them while I keep an eye on little chickadee here.” Jesse and Hanzo shared a quick kiss before Hanzo slipped away to hunt down their fourth child.

His search did not take long. Sprue had only been in their lives for less than a week, but Hanzo had figured out their habits already and the house wasn’t that big. Still, it took him three tries to find the closet Sprue had hidden themselves in, and that was only because they had figured out how to turn their external LED lights off.

Hanzo opened the closet door the rest of the way so he could sit down next to the young omnic. Their body was still, but the hum of their inner fans told Hanzo that Sprue was awake. All four of their arms were wrapped around their chest, hiding the large dragon engraving underneath. Hanzo waited to see if Sprue would speak first, and when they did not he broke the silence.

“It is okay to be scared, Sprue.”

Sprue lifted their head out of their arms, but said nothing.

“When I joined Overwatch I was scared, too,” Hanzo said, his voice soft, “Terrified. I didn’t know anyone outside of my brother, and even then it had been so long since I saw him last. I was worried everyone would hate me, so I hid myself away from everyone else. Until your father decided he wanted to become my best friend no matter what. He is annoying like that.”

Sprue made an almost-laugh noise.

“Although I hated it at the time I am glad he did. Once I got to know everyone I realized there was nothing to be afraid of. Now I have many friends, my wonderful husband, and you and your siblings. If I had stayed hidden, cowering in fear I would not have any of this. I would not have you.”

A shimmer of purple light passed over Sprue’s dragon engraving. Their whole frame relaxed, but they still did not move. Hanzo understood.

“You may stay here for as long as you wish,” Hanzo said as he stood back up. “But it would be nice if you joined us for dinner.”

Sprue finally looked up. “I do not eat,” they said, their voice staticy from being not quite finalized yet.

“Nor does your Uncle Zenyatta, but he always joins us when he can. He enjoys spending time with us, and we enjoy his company,” Hanzo smiled. “Perhaps you could bring your deck of cards? Your father would be more than happy to teach you his favorite card games.” He dramatically looked around before leaning down to whisper, “And if you sit next to him I am certain he will teach you how to cheat as well.”

Sprue let out a small gasp of childish delight. “Can we go get my deck of cards now?” they asked as they reached to Hanzo with all four of their hands.

“Of course, Sprue. Maybe Papa Jesse can tell you all about the time he almost lost his other arm while playing Texas Holdem.” Hanzo helped Sprue up, making sure they got their footing before letting go. Although Sprue was a full-sized humanoid omnic, they still moved like an awkward toddler who just learned to walk. “Do you know what Texas Holdem is?”

Sprue tilted their head, and the lights across their body flashed in time with their engraving. “A card game where people are forced to remove their body parts?”

“Only sometimes.” Hanzo took Sprue’s hand and lead them back outside. No, this was not a future he would have ever imagined. But it is a present he is glad to have.

(COFFEE)