#because we didn't used to be alone
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Late Night Thoughts With Achi: Consider- the reason humans yearn for sapient life out amongst the stars is because after evolving alongside other sapient species from our genus they've all been gone for like 40k years and we're lonely.
#we had other close members of homo around for so long#most of our evolution#and then they all just died off#and the closest thing we've got is the fuckers over in pan#and it's just not the same#i propose humanity yearns to have another sapient species around because we lost the ones we had before#i mean picture it from the perspective of ancient humans#you grow up around these fuckers and you start seeing less and less of them#and they're just- they've always been there you've been undergoing cultural exchanges and your cousin's grandma was one and so on#but there's fewer of them when you're young#and fewer when your kids are#your great-grandkids never see one#but they're still remembered they're still talked about#they become a remnant in the memory of a species#and even though nobody ever sees one of them again they know they should be out there somewhere#and even millennia later- when we've trawled the world and know for a fact that we're all that's left#we look to the sky and go 'there has to be someone out there somewhere'#there just has to be#because we didn't used to be alone#they were *family* they were *there*#there has to be someone#....damn that got emotional there...
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Great and Tyme being worried about each other
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#tusersilence#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#asianlgbtqdramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#i made this so i could stare at their expressions during those scenes truly masterclass in acting#the way you can feel great's pain in the 4th gif when tyme yells to let them try to kill him#the way great is just searching for anything to grasp at when showing his worry about tyme's well being didn't work in the 6th gif#and great desperately saying his grandma#he is so split between holding onto his parents and holding onto tyme because he doesn't want to lose what they have#and clearly he knows asking tyme to do it for him alone wouldn't work not only because he has no right to#but also because he simply doesn't think he even mean that much to tyme. it's not like he knows what it's like to mean stuff to people#i mean shit look at his relationship with his parents. so he uses grandma and it works#anyways i love the little smiles in gifs 14 15 16 when he can feel that tyme is worried about him#all i'm gonna say about tyme is we need to put that man on suiciide watch. anyways that's what I can say from great pov
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state of deltarune theories is so so bad cuz they all try to connect back to the theme of escapism without noticing that that theme isn't even in deltarune.
#the personification of noelle's overbearing mother follows her around throughout the cyber world.#and she spends the entire game scared and confused and alone. until the very end where she's forced to stand up to that figure that scares#-so much. not because she went through any eye opening adventure where she learned to be more brave-#-but because her friends were literally about to die.#she didn't grow at her own pace. she was forced to speak up at the last moment.#kris gets a weird effigy of their brother forced on them as a romantic interest without their say in the matter-#-because they literally cannot speak their mind.#and gosh. the most defying example. berdly.#he spends the entire game trying to build an actual escapist fantasyland. with all his shtick about making a 'smartopia'.#but it never works out.#berdly keeps trying to live that escapist fantasy. a fantasy where he's the hero and gets the girl at the end (the girl being susie)#but he never gets that.#absolutely nothing in the game points at it being about escapism in any shape or form.#hell. I'd say dark worlds don't even reflect what the lightners want in any way.#kris doesn't get friends because of the dark worlds. but because of *us*.#we. the player. is the the one making the right choices for kris.#deltarune is much more interested in exploring what it means to be stuck in a narrative-#-that forces per assigned roles on characters that don't want those roles than it is ever about escapism.#like. did everyone miss the huge player shaped elephant in the room or what.#✏️
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Season 4 hope/prediction: Deb's show is solid, zero issues, runs flawlessly with great ratings, but her personal life is completely eroding. We start with her discovering Marcus is leaving, and it culminates in DJ going into labor right before a taping. Deb chooses the show. When it's over, and she finally flies to Vegas, it's too late -- Aiden's not letting her in because he loves his wife too much to let DJ get into a shouting match with her mom right after giving birth, and instead takes the brunt of Deb's wrath, with her making excuses and talking about how they used her money for IVF, and anyway, DJ's fine, so who cares if she wasn't there? Kathy's in the room with DJ and the baby (DJ's the closest she has to a daughter, after all) and Deb leaves too furious to think about how badly she's hurt her family.
She heads back to her Vegas mansion -- empty, obviously, Josefina and the dogs would be in LA -- and pops open a bottle of wine. Alone. Completely alone. Can't call Marty, she has no friends, the closest she's got would be Kiki and wouldn't that be embarrassing, calling your poker dealer to talk about your feelings --
and then Ava's there. She got the news about DJ's labor, she got the story from Aiden (who was distraught, by the way, man's too much of a sweetheart for Vance drama), a spare key from Damian (happy to pawn that off on her, though if it isn't returned promptly he's taking legal action) and has arrived just in time to see the Deborah Vance having a breakdown the likes of which no one thought physically possible. Crying gives you wrinkles, you know. But Ava has to be here. She's the physical embodiment of a lesson Deb never truly learned: you don't have to like someone to love them.
In my imaginary fantasy land that I am concocting this would then subsequently lead into them fucking nasty but I understand that this may be a step too far for the surprisingly large number of very normal people who watch this show and would forgive JPL for not taking it that far. However I do believe they should fuck about it and let Ava take the reigns in their relationship while they see how many of Deb's bridges they can un-burn.
#hacks hbo#ava x deborah#avorah#avadeb#hey if anyone wants to bother writing this for real go for it I don't care#if any of this is any degree of accurate for JPL's vision of s4 then I will be extremely happy#deb is NOT miranda priestly#miranda knew from the start that she could never have human connection or she'd lose her dream job#deb has inspired such genuine devotion that she does not understand that a woman in a man's role historically requires sacrifice#she knew the fire cost her the show but she didn't KNOW that that was the only reason until now#that the network did not give a shit at all#the advertisers did and the advertisers are the true enemy#she still believes she got to the top through hard work and talent#wrong the deborah vance brand was built by people who love her and believe in her#only when she has lost DJ will she be open to hearing the truth (that it was a group effort)#from the mouth of the one person who stood by her out of a wombo combo of love and spite#only THEN will she accept that kathy was right#THIS is why frank left her. THIS behavior. the belief that SHE is a special queen who did it all alone#frank was scum by the way dude groomed her little sister#his behavior is fucked but his reason is close enough to correct that ava can use it as an example of how much deb HAS to change#btw please please please we need deb sleeping with ava and not calling it a mistake because she's too fucking tired and sad
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Walkshipping board for that one anon from forever ago who asked about my ships
X-X X-X X-X
#i call i walkshipping because i'm pretty sure their only interaction together was walking bakura home#the dynamic to me is unrequited crush -> friends -> fake dating -> possible qpr -> crush x2 combo -> awkward maybe-kinda-unofficial-polycul#i think since mihos crush on bakura was solely aesthetic‚ it'd start to fade once she started actually viewing him as a friend#and i think once that happened and bakura got more comfortable they would end up hanging out a lot#i think miho would love tabletop games (you cant convince me her enjoyment of capsulemon didn't just come from rping with the pieces)#and her immunity to traditionally scary things means bakura could get her into a lot of his other interests as well#anyway i like the idea that eventually they decide to fake date each other purely to get the girls to leave bakura's demi ass alone#which in turns leads to honda third wheeling them a lot bc 'ur just fake dating right ur not gonna catch actual feelings right'#the idea of this going anywhere romantic hinges on my belief that finding out abt mihos weird strange interests makes him even more into he#and that realizing how many traits she shares with bakura is‚ unfortunately for him‚ how he finds out he might in fact be bi#so now he's still desperately trying to romance miho AND coming to terms with the idea that his jealousy of bakura might have deeper origin#meanwhile the two are like 'hey honda likes us isnt that cute. wanna see how many trinkets we can get him to buy us'#<- (i warned you. i warned you about the extreme yapping that came with this)#moodboard#yugioh#yugioh s0#miho nosaka#honda hiroto#ryo bakura#ryou bakura#tristan taylor#walkshipping#hands#dice#flowers#planchette#ouija board#jewelry#puzzle
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I'm still thinking about that scene in Victoriocity S3E7 where Fleet runs back towards the Beast so as to lure it into the path of the train...
Clara's exclamation of 'Teamwork, Fleet!' after Fleet says he's got a plan reflects her conviction that any plan that Fleet has will be a shared plan, something they do together.
This conviction is a kind of trust, and that trust is part of the reason Clara takes a moment to realise Fleet has headed back towards the Beast. She trusts that he's following behind her. She keeps talking to him, her words full of optimism.
When she realises Fleet isn't there, she immediately realises what that must mean he's done, and her voice sounds more small and scared than I think we've ever heard it before.
Fleet's attempt at self-sacrifice is a kind of betrayal of Clara's trust, but when he echoes her celebration of their teamwork in a more somber tone, I think it suggests that he understands the weight of that betrayal.
If Fleet's plan is that Clara won't realise he's gone until it's already too late, then he thinks "Teamwork, Clara" will be the last words he'll ever speak to her. In what he imagines will be their final conversation, Fleet affirms Clara's understanding of them as a team who work well together, even as he is making a choice that rejects the possibility of their teamwork in this scenario. It's a recognition of what their dynamic has meant. It's a goodbye and an apology, even if Clara doesn't understand it as such at first.
I don't think Fleet sounds scared as he initially faces down the train. When he shouts "Yeah, this way, you stupid machine! Come on then!", he sounds defiant and grimly determined.
In fact, I don't think he sounds afraid until Clara appears, until she might be at risk of being in the path of the Beast or the train as well. It's when he shouts "Clara, stay back for God's sake!" and "Please, get back!" that there's real fear and desperation in his voice. He can confront the idea of giving his own life, but not the idea that doing so might put Clara in danger.
Another thing about these lines is that the move from 'stay back' to 'get back' suggests that Clara didn't obey his first instruction but got closer to him (and therefore to the path of the Beast and the train) between those two lines.
Then Fleet gives what might be another attempt at his last words: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry." A repeated apology before an attempted self-sacrifice is an implicit acknowledgement of how much losing him would hurt Clara. He regrets causing her pain.
Even so, he's accepted that he is about to die and that it'd be worth it to destroy the Beast. But Clara very much hasn't accepted either those things. She's still trying to yell over the noise of the train; she's pulling off her ring to throw at him.
I think it's a good illustration of how Clara's optimism is a kind of strength. She always believes that they can "make a new plan" and that it'll be one in which no one has to die. I think Archibald Fleet needs someone like that, someone who'll tell him to drop to the ground when his death advances from both sides, someone who - even in a dark tunnel with an murderous metal monster and a speeding train - won't stop shouting that there's hope.
#Victoriocity#victoriocity spoilers#clara entwhistle#archibald fleet#I have feelings about them!!#I've listened to this scene a normal number of times...#Can't decide if it's more angsty if Clara heard his apology or if she didn't...#Also on the topic of Clara's optimism#I think it is a part of her temperament#but I don't think that means it's always easy or that it isn't something that takes active effort#The 'midnight overthinkies' scene showed us that there's a lot going on under the surface#As previously established I don't personally see Clara and Fleet romantically#but nonetheless there is something Orpheus and Eurydice#about two people who care deeply about each other#in a dark tunnel trying to head towards safety#and one of them trusts that the other is behind them#except Clara doesn't look back for a while and then he actually is already gone#and she's alone wondering if she's lost him forever#I think I can draw those parallels platonically#Oh also there's something impressive about a show that can literally raise a guy from the dead in the first season#and yet still have real stakes when he's in life or death situations after that#something deeply sinister about how in Even Greater London no death ever needs to be permanent#but we know that the vast majority of deaths would be because access to that technology is so restricted#inspector fleet#victoriocity season 3#victoriocity podcast#Clara & Fleet#The empty man posteth
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good morning can i show you guys the christmas card my little sister wrote me in french (she does not know any french)
joyeux Noël, j'espère que vous comprenez ce que je dis compte tenu de la fiabilité de Google Translate. Jespère qu'à l'avenir nous voir plus de deux fois par an. Je ne sais pas vraiment quoi dire d'autre, alors joyeux Noël et j'espère que papa t'a offert. Profitez également des autres choses que je mets sur la carte au lieu de vous ècrire un essai complet.
and then she wrote me a little crossword and a "connect the language to its way of saying 'merry christmas'" game 😭
#i really don't know what j'espère que papa t'a offert is supposed to be. seems to be missing a direct object#the previous sentence is also missing a couple words but i know what it is supposed to mean#french#sibling feels#anyway this was sweet#i am a little worried about her because a) one of the languages she put on the card for how to say merry christmas is hebrew#which is an odd choice if you're going to pick five languages to say merry christmas in lol#and i had just learned at dinner that b) she had never heard of chanukah. which is a bit concerning#also sidenote the hebrew version of merry christmas given is hag shmah which i'm guessing is the same as chag sameach?#which is used for any holiday not just christmas lol#i'm also a little worried because i think my brother gets more parental attention#or maybe my dad only pays attention to the sports that his kids play?#like my dad coaches my sister's team but didn't know what classes she has next semester#but seems to know all sorts of stuff about my brother's life#also she's 14 and i think wants to be much younger than that? or thinks 14 is very young (which it is but she is a teen. she called#herself a 'little girl' and was mad because she was home alone for the second time ever yesterday)#idk she's clearly just very sheltered. when they were driving me home we saw a homeless man on the side of the road holding#a sign and she said he was scary and i was like how come? he's just standing there#and she said one time she saw a guy like that and he was angry and now she thinks all of them (meaning homeless people ig)#are scary. so i had a conversation with her about that#like 14 is young she is a kid she has a lot of stuff to learn which is normal! but is she getting taught anything? is anyone paying#attention to her? i see her so rarely (as mentioned in the card) because i don't have a car and because i don't have#fond memories of that household and avoid my dad and stepmom but i should really try harder with her#my brother also wrote me a very nice card! he was pretty considerate yesterday which is also new#he did not discuss his opinion of the military or capitalism this time so i don't know how he is feeling about them these days lol#we talked a lot about sports lol
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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watched the first ep of Dead Boy Detectives today, did anyone also think the dialogue was a bit clunky?
I don't mean it was unwatchable or anything i just feel like it didn't feel realistic the way they introduced the characters and world... It felt like the dialogue was for the viewer instead of an in character thing. We were gonna be introduced to a viewer surrogate within the first few minutes, there was no need to have the characters who already know how the show's world works spell it out for nobody... and then explain it again when Crystal showed up? idk it felt like something I would write (not a complient) 😅
#the line ''we have to hide from death... or she'll get us'' was ridiculous#do you think the boy that's been escaping death since 1919 or whatever doesn't know?!#''we have to hide'' was enough the viewer can put 2 and 2 together and deduce it's bad if death sees them#to then minnutes later have them explain to crystal why they have to hide from death again...#just let the characters adress the camera if you wanna spell it out so easily#or you know... trust that the viewer is intelligent enough to wait 2 minutes for an explanation?#it was mostly just that first few mins of the first ep i think#i didn't pick up on anything else that trully bothered me#but idk it felt condecending dkjfghkdfg or simply badly written#which it was a bit of a let down to have it as a very first impression#i guess i went in thinking sandman and got like idk generic teen show#in the dialogue alone btw i actually really like the characters and the premise is awesome!#it just cuaght me by surprise#maybe it because i'm also watching fallout and the dialogue on that is like very well done and everything is a hint for something later#so i'm comparing it idk#anyways... is it just me? or was it actually clunky?#(don't spoil it past ep 1 pls)#angel talks#dead boy detectives#really liking it so far tho!
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How does Bruno comfort people? If he can comfort them
#Cheesed to meet you~!#Translation:#Gorgonzola likes to be held and to be hugged!#I like it too#When we were alone in the tower I used to sing to him to comfort him#He would never tell me but I knew it was making him more upset so I stopped#I have also tried to groom him but the blue parts of him taste. so. BITTER.#he was so dirty but thankfully he didn't want my help because he tastes terrible.#lets take a moment to appreciate Bruno's high self esteem and mental image of himself#fake peppino#pizza tower
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If you want to be happy, I hope it comes true.
I hope you will be happy too.
#ploy's yearbook#1x10#jaochan#pongtawan dejdamrong#kapook ploynira#joong archen#gifset#*brace's#//#congratulations on the divorce 🎉#this was one of the most BEAUTIFUL break-ups I have ever seen everybody SHUT UP 😭#they have so much maturity and respect for each other#it didn't work between them because of xyz (Tawan sacrificing his life and dreams for his family/previous lover)#and the only reason she was still by his side was because he was afraid of being alone with no purpose#but none of them deserves to live like this. they deserve to be happy.#to keep Jao tied to him when there is no more love between them is a selfish thing to do#she finally tells him that. they need to move on and Tawan is holding them back. they deserve better than this.#///#side note#it's in moments like this that I really appreciate the process of growing up‚ learning‚ and changing ideas/beliefs#younger me would probably have been offended by the idea that love can expire#or at very least looked down on a love that ends for not being strong enough to perdure#but the thing is#sometimes the love is there and the love is strong and the love lasts for a long time#and the love still expires. it becomes something else. or it doesn't become anything. it just stops.#and to insist that it should continue to validate the love you felt before is disrespectful to your past self#it's gone now‚ but it was there before. it was as real as the love that doesn't stop growing.#love may not last forever but every bond we create with another person leaves a mark‚ and the mark does.#the experience and how it influenced us. the memories‚ the good and the bad ones‚ all of it‚ is ours. it doesn't expire until we do.
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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aaaaaaa okey I ordered the speaker and the star projector. (and a beauty blender and a neck support and the new volume of yona and the garbage disposal cleaner matt wanted.) it was still only $35 actually out of pocket and I get my allowance in the morning which will completely replace that amount. I will definitely like the speaker and if I don't like the star projector arin will.
#yes this did take me an entire week#I don't like spending money. I like having money and I like having things.#but I must spend money to get things.#but I have had a very draining weekend and I deserve nice things and that's what gift cards are supposed to be for.#(frankly even if nice things do need to be earned which is a notion that deserves to be critically examined)#(depending on how one defines 'nice things')#(I have more than earned all the nice things I could ever want between keeping other people alive and keeping myself alive.)#(we glamorize Big Actions way too fuckin much btw but that's tangential off the 'keeping other people alive' thing)#(Big Actions often have the smallest fuckin impact tbh. they mean nothing without thousands of small actions.)#I very nearly didn't order the projector but it's late and I'm in my room alone and I turned the lamp off early#so that no one can tell I'm still up since my brother is still here#and it's just a tiny bit too dark for being awake purposes#only a tiny bit though#there's good light through the window because of the courtyard#and the projector has an auto-off#idk I think it's worth trying. if I like it they can give me extra discs for it for christmas#and if I don't I can give it to arin#the notion that I can try stuff without 100% Committing Forever is. not one I grew up with.#like. mom started me on piano lessons for my 9th birthday cuz I'd mentioned it at some point#and I faithfully attended every week (barring schedule conflicts or illness) until I moved away for college at 19.#you had to promise you really wanted something for real if you were gonna get it and god help you if you were wrong.#even though neither of us were prone to tantrums or greed even without those tight boundaries.#(and even though she did not hold herself to that standard at all from what I can see.)
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Idk who needs to hear this, but if you think you are annoying and that no one likes you, just be glad you aren't my Earth Surface Processes professor who is so awful at his job and so hated by his students that we had an insult tally on the whiteboard during our 2 hour study session.
(Do not feel bad for this man. He absolutely deserves it.)
#regarding our midterm (worth 20% of our grade) alone he:#1a) randomly moved it from in 2 weeks to in 9 days claiming it was department policy#1b) This was apparently a LIE as stated by a different geoscience professor who then encouraged us to complain to the higher ups#2a) released the exam study guide a day late#2b) Study guide was poorly worded with repeat questions/grammatical errors/run-on sentences/conflicting information#2c) got a bit annoyed when we asked about the conflicting info#3) Responded to yes or no questions with “sort of” (Ex: will we be provided the equations)#4) decided to add a new question onto the exam and guide 2 days before the midterm#5) negelcted to teach us how to solve one of the problems until 2 days before the midterm#6) was not present for his own office hours (never told us that he canceled or anything he just didn't show up)#and like i said this is regarding the midterm ALONE#Some insult highlights:#“Why does he love soil creep so much?” “Because that was his nickname in high school.”#“*Student* has been teaching us the content in the past 30min better than *Prof* ever has in an hour and 15.”#“I am not convinced that *Prof* is a human being. I think he's a robot piloted by a hamster.” “Actually its a swarm of fruit flies.”#“I would destroy him in a fight.” “Hes a twink. Anyone could.” “He is NOT a twink no one would EVER hit that.”#collegeblr#college#geoscience
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#man I hate being the expendable one#always the “odd one out”#the group I usually hang out and do class group projects with is conformed of 4 people not counting myself#and the teachers always want to make groups of four people#so of course I'm the one who gets put to the side#and has no choice but to make the projects and assignments with the rest of the people who don't have a group#who are usually fucking useless and I end up doing most of the work myself!#it happened to me in six grade#I had a problem with my middle school group and the teacher let me do all of the assignments alone for the remaining time#which was alright w me because there was no drama and just old reliable me to work with#then I did assignments with this other girl as a pair and it was nice actually#and then we got to the last year of high school and I was part of a larger group again and it was great!#the first time I didn't feel expendable in a group since- idk fourth grade?#but it was the last year of high school ofc so I graduated that and now I'm in college with the same old problem#and y'know it's not that I don't get it#I'm not their friend. I just hang out with them during college hours#and I don't want to be their friend either. I don't feel comfortable being that close with them#I don't consider anyone a friend for that reason. If I don't feel like I can open up to you then you are not my friend#so I get it it's fair I GET IT#I miss our first year at college. we were all the same amount of “close” to each other and there weren't any strong preferences yet#we were “us five” instead of “them four”#and it's frustrating because again. I don't want to be their friend#I just don't want to feel alone#or excluded...#and it's not like I can get in with other group because those are also already conformed as well!#*sighs*#I hate my stupid baka life#ray talks about.💫#vent#personal stuff
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