#because this is funny to me

[aestariiwilderness]

Acolyte Spoilers #1

Okay so -- of the many, many, MANY things about SW canon that are both hilarious and horrifying in light of episode 1 of the Acolyte, this is the one that's sticking out to me now: So, apparently, in canon, Anakin and his "unorthodox" training that everybody in the Temple yelled at him for has officially now saved Ahsoka's life approximately 1033 times over instead of just 1032. Why? Because Osha out here, Jedi dropout, working for the Trade Federation on a case-by-case basis (who are talking over comms about how disposable she is!) because, and I quote/near-quote: the Jedi skills aren't transferable. And apparently, they don't really teach you anything else, not officially. If you don't have a master who cares about that kind of thing, maybe you don't get any kind of training that way at all. AND, evidently, if you leave or get kicked out, they don't give you any kind of job training, stipend, or post-Order care, as we saw with both Ahsoka and Osha. So that particular fun little fanon sop to the Jedi just died a lonely death LOL. So Anakin, by teaching Ahsoka an actual, marketable trade (mechanics) (why is that the only trade in Star Wars?? Guys, learn some basket-weaving) absolutely saved her life. (Again.) So, to recap: You're taken to the main government-sponsored (literally, from what I can see) cult, the Jedi Order, often as a baby so you have no say in it. There are laser swords, telekinetic space monks who have lived in power for centuries, a planet-city full of corruption, and absolutely no child endangerment or child labor laws. Your "brethren" can and literally do invade people's minds and control them without asking if it's convenient. You are ostracized for forming any kind of attachment; apparently, if you blink in vague confusion while a fascist green lady asks you if you're down with murdering your young former padawan for political convenience, you're too attached. (AND that is a whole hilarious post on its own). Key salient details will be left out of your file to aid in a coverup about your origins. The minimal amount of critical thinking will be done at all times, if you're lucky. And then, of course, if you dare to leave or get kicked out of this utterly Benevolent Cult in which you had no choice in spending your entire life, you...will have no resources, no job training, and be left to sink or swim. And then at any point the Jedi will have free rein to pop back into the life you've shakily managed to construct for yourself, arrest you immediately on the testimony of one (1) (non-human guy who might not be able to tell the difference between one human and the next!), and then get you crashlanded onto an icy death planet and hunt you down, laser swords out and ready to slice and dice you to death. Yep. Sounds about right. (Wait till you get to the human clones manufactured to die, Osha! That'll be fun.) Sooo -- any sane person's reaction to the Jedi Cult here should be:

@clawedandcute

[thechekhov]

this one goes out to everyone who has an M sized dog with an L sized bark.

[beebfreeb]

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[calicorobin]

beanbag chair psychology

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[zorangezest]

switcheroo

part two

[notherpuppet]

I just love the idea of Lucifer having to deal with this fucking guy every time he wants to see Charlie

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[oasisr]

after hearing "simply having a wonderful christmas time" by paul mccartney 74 times while working in retail, I came to the conclusion that they shot the wrong beatle

[piosplayhouse]

14 year olds shipping discourse is inbreeding with itself to make the discourse equivalent of a brachycephalic bulldog at this point. They're inventing new extremely vague moral purity categories at a rate nearly equivalent to the Mormon church

* For the record btw a paraphilia by definition is just any sexual desire classed as "unusual" by the dsm, which can include anything from apparently getting horny about imagining yourself as a vampire (?) to being attracted to fictional characters, to being attracted to trans people. It's not an issue unless it has the capacity to cause real harm to yourself or others, at which point it becomes a paraphilic disorder

[nicktoonsunite]

jimmee 'n friends

[gorenography]

[Image description: a screenshot of a text message conversation. A. is the sender, B. the replier. Slight edits made for better accessibility.

A.: "Every time I talk to you I feel confused. I've never met anyone that speaks like you do."

B.: "stop lovebombing mw. *me."

A.: "What? It's not a compliment. You scare me."

/end of ID]

[sreppub]

batlantern where clark was too late. sorry clark.

[persepinas]

@bilestat

as a gay person with a caffeine addiction, sometimes i want to bury myself in dirt and take a decade long nap. that's why this pride month i'm partnering with the vampire lestat