#because theyre such a good fucking show live

[aceyanaheim]

Things that totally happened while Kakashi was in single digits ( which is his entire genin AND chunin exam Kishi wtf ) a non extensive list. With the help of the lovely @tora-the-cat

Most D-Rank missions are doing chores around the village. Do you understand how little muscle five year olds have? I dont care that they're a superhero ninja village five is five. Kakashi totally went too hard on some of the manual labor and just..couldnt keep going. Minato had to cover for him. ( Minato also had to convince him that no this didn't make him a bad shinobi because Kakashi tired and grumpy and five was totally trying not to cry when he woke up and the mission was done)

Kakashi lived alone for what the fuck reason kishi wh- after his dad died this tells me he basically learned climbing things like cupboards to get what he wanted and no he doesn't need help thank you.

After a while Minato got good at just extending his arms and catching Kakashi randomly because Kakashi's "if i cant reach climb it" attitude went with him on missions.

Minato fully expecting a genin age ten at the youngest finding someone Half that age and just getting every book on What Five Years Olds Are Like bc...he's never had to train one? He's never seen one on the field? Now he's on a team with one??? Hiruzen?? He's Five???

Kakashi at least once took out someone at the ankles just because thats the nearest thing he could reach.

He needed special weapons because he's tiny but Minato took to carrying then around because at least once Kakashi ran out of his took one of Minatos ( excuse him for being solution orientes) and Damm near sliced his hand open.

@tora-the-cat came up with this one but Kakashi took too many missions back to back without nap time and had a meltdown on a mission. At least the mission was successful.

Also that a jounin almost made Kakashi cry for getting hangry on a mission and Minato almost ate him. ( This was also @tora-the-cat )

Kakashi adamant that he needs to summon His Favorite niken for a mission and totally didnt pout when he couldnt ( he's Five)

Please imagine youre on a B Rank Mission. Please imagine youre fellow Chunnin is Six. Please imagine he kills with effiiciency and then pouts because he can't keep His dog as summoned on the way back and he hates the vegetables Sensei theyre gross.

Minatos a good soldier a good Shinobi he understands this is for the good of the village and anything for the good of the village is justified but he's still not ready for the emotions that slam into him the first time he has to carry this literal toddler after a mission ( maybe he got hurt maybe he fell asleep idk could be both)

Minato carrying special rations because like there are foods?? A Five year Olds body needs??? You can't just give him rations and pills

Minato had to trick Kakashi tho because He's A Shinobi He doesnt need vitamins ( yes. Yes he does)

Please imagine the surround sound HD "what the fuck" when this tiny ass six year old shows up for his Chunnin exam ( Minato Teaches him a bunch of jutsus every one chalks it up to Minato having a passing aquantance with limits. It is that but also he really needs the reasurance Kakashi won't die fighting a bunch of ninja who are twice His age at the youngest)

At least once Kakashi gets sick and actually acts his age. I need that

Listen I've said before but there should have been more focus on Kakashi being Five when his ninja career started like do You know how tiny Five is. He's Little. Picture it Minato goes to meet him and expects a ten year old only to feel a tug on his pants and there's this barely not a toddler standing at attention perfectly. He maybe reaches Minatos knees. Kakashi garrots someone and then asks Minato if he can please lift him up to wash his hands bc he can't reach the sink. Minato has to carry extra special Made weapons because should Kakashi find himself without his Minatos weapons would not in fact fit in his hands. He has to stand on tiptoes to give ninja reports. He's Five thats Tiny. Someone offered him the kids menu at Shinobi Food Place and Minato barely curved the killer intent by promising extra training. Kishimoto pick up the phone this could have been so much funnier and no less tragic.

[grymm-gardens]

Lucanis is potentially one of my favorite character concepts ever (fuck bioware for firing mary kirby) specifically because he is hands down the best depiction of a dissociative disorder I have ever seen in my life. I am diagnosed with OSDD and have discussed him with my therapist (who is also a dragon age fan lmao) and she could not agree more.

Spite and lucanis' relationship at the beginning is a perfect representation of the way you can feel a disconnect between yourself and the darker parts of yourself, the way he seems resigned to dying rather than ever accepting Spite as a permanent part of him, the way you see him struggling with the Idea that the only reason he and spite can coexist is that maybe Lucanis himself already had a spiteful demonic side that Spite was able to latch onto. The realization the spite isn't overtaking Lucanis out of a desire to hurt him, but rather to protect them both because as long as lucanis still feels like he is in the ossuary, spite will always feel like he needs to save them, the same way that when a dissociative part gets triggered by trauma and starts responding like theyre experiencing the trauma again, and that the only way around this for lucanis was for him to start learning some amount of self-compassion for himself and for Spite and to start showing spite that they are safe, that they have good people around them, and that despite all of the trauma, mess, and danger that lucanis thinks he brings to the table that there are people that will love and care for him regardless. there are even people who will love and care for spite as well, and that he doesnt need to fear his own existence??? the coffee date with spite to show him what living is like?? and that they are safe and he doesnt need to fight anymore??? ahhh its just all such a good concept that i wish the game wouldve explored further, and is the sole reason i picked up writing again.

i have no idea if that will make any sense to any one but me, but i smoked the devils lettuce and needed to yap

[nintendont2502]

I found the set list for the Smith Street Band set im going to see next month and holy FUCK im so excited

Like at first I thought it would just be their new album since its the Life After Football tour (which would be. Eh. Like don't get me wrong there's some really good songs on there but I don't love all of them yk) but it isn't!!

Like god. Just those first four songs (Do Nothing Forever, Birthdays AND I Still Dream About You??) Holy FUCK - and Change My Name is a pretty damn good song from the new album (AND June Egbert song hell yeah)

Shine and Surrender back to back is so fucking good, and those last three?? Ik they're basically legally required to play Passiona and Death To The Lads but god im so hyped, and the Alanis Morissette Like A Version should be fucking incredible

God. Big Smoke live should be fucking *incredible* holy fuck - AND I Can't Feel My Face it's so fucking good

Also the only songs I haven't heard on here before now are Arrogance of a Drunk Pedestrian, Don't Fuck With Our Dreams and Chips N Gravy and god DAMN do they fuck so hard - im pretty sure some of them have a Wombat State Forest and/or Strings Attatched cover so god damn am I excited to finally be able to listen to those (I've been trying to listen to the songs I didn't know before now (aka anything outside of More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Me/ Don't Waste Your Anger/Life After Football and the other random singles I know) but it's good having the concert to push me into listening to them lmao)

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!

[inkybinkyboink]

hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.

i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.

but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!

[ipatrichor]

actually i think one of the things in outsiders that really fucked me up was one of owen's turns of phrase

when magic tricks him and goes into the maze alone, only surviving because he figures out what happened quick enough to follow & rescue her, he tells her that he's never going to stop coming after her (to make sure she's safe, to protect her)

and then after owen's gotten his memories back, he tells apo that he's never going to stop coming after him (to hunt him down, to kill him)

[surpriserose]

River monsters mentioned for the river monsters mutuals

[scarameownya]

tags ran out so im continuing it here JAJSJSDJJD

on a second thought i should have tagged this as nsfw before the tags ran out 💀

#GRANDMA LOST HER SON AND DAUGHTER IN LAW... STOP IT STOP I DONT WANNA GET EMOTIONAL JAIL JAIL FOR YOU

#"grandma filled the roles so well even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled out" thats its im stealing your brain this is actually insane writing and wording IM IN LOVE

#NO NO NOT HIM REGRETTING NOT BEING TO HELP HER AS A CHILD NOBONONOON

#AND HER DEATH HELLO ?!?!?! ok and ik u didnt intended for it to be but id like to think him brushing off people's remarks

#are somewhat in a way him grieving cause hes knows all of it and in a way because he knows his child self could not reciprocate all of it

#DO NOT TORTURE ME MORE WITH HIM READING HIS PARENTS LETTER AND FUCKING CRYING RIV I WILL KILL YOU HELLO IM ?!?@?@?@?#?@#*×*

#ALSO AUAGAHAHAHA I LOVE THEIR BANTER SO MUCH OMFGGGGGGGG THE FACT THAT HE HAS SOMEONE TO SHARE AND CALL A HOME WITH AUGAHSHSHD

#als his thought process during the smut scene... :[[ poor lil brain boy.. he's literally so happy at how you are so perfect for him

#and just how whole you made him feel... wahhh :"[[[[ riv should get her device taken away signing a petition rn //lh

#THE LETTER AT THE END ?!?!?! OMFG HAITHAM YOU CHEESY ASS //POS ALL POS HES JUST SO ?!?!?! SO ?!?@@??!

#seeing haitham this gentle is insane omfg riv i love love LOVE your version of him so much-- lowkey got me blushing at it like-- STOP

#ALL IN ALL HELLO ?!?!?! THIS IS INCREDIBLE IM LITERALLY SO HOOKED IN EVERY WORDS AND THEYRE ALL SO WELL WRITTEN

#eating your brain i need that nutrients PLS I JUST ?!?!?! I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMFG UAHSUAHDHSDHDHFHDH

#what if i die for just liking this too much-- IM SORRY BUT JUST ?!?!? EVERYTHING FLOW SO SMOOTHLY AND AND ITS SO NATURAL AND I JUST LOVE SEEING IT PLAYED OUT FROM START TO FINISH

#whens the wedding this should be at 28 ill be waiting //lh

like a lotus in spring, you are mine to bloom — ft. alhaitham

synopsis: at twenty one, you’re just a girl he meets as he trains for the role of scribe. at twenty four, you’ve become everything he loves in this world. after three years of knowing you and nearly two and a half decades of life, alhaitham finally realizes why his father left letters for his mother instead of just saying the words outloud

❤︎ word count: 7.7k words — we find ourselves here in the same old situation again, i see LOL pls give it a chance though!! plssss

❤︎ before you read: female reader ; 18+ content — not suitable for minors ; not proof read ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mutual pining but not at the same time for a bit (he falls first <3) ; jealous alhaitham ; hinted drunk sex ; getting together + love confessions ; alhaitham character story spoilers + references to his grandmother and parents ; semi-clothed unprotected sex ; no prep ; some nipple play ; creampie ; the cringiest love letter at the end LOL

❤︎ comments: guys every time i write alhaitham it’s so corny and cheesy but . he is my fav genshin guy of all time i deserve to be allowed this okay

TWENTY ONE. 

You’re still a student when you first meet Alhaitham. (Not a student for much longer, but a student all the same. With a little luck on your side and good graces from your darshan’s sage on your thesis, you’re expected to graduate in just a few short months.)

You don’t have the best first meet. In fact, your impression of Alhaitham starts off entirely on the wrong foot. 

He’s newly graduated, just freshly rewarded a degree for his (impressive) efforts, and is now well on his way to training for the role of scribe—you heard he was offered far more prestigious roles, but for some reason, a genius like him settled for a role like that. You try not to judge. People have their passions, after all, and if that’s what he wants to do, well…who are you to make comments? (But amongst a school that only houses the brilliant, Alhaitham is, very undoubtedly, a standout. It’s hard to stand out in a school filled with only the best minds, but he manages to do so with ease. Sometimes, you’re almost jealous. You can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t aim a little higher than he does.)

He trains in the house of Daena. His first order of training is to fact-check ordinance drafts using books so he can better get the hang of drafting them himself in the future. You’re also in the House of Daena to find the last book for your thesis—after weeks of begging, you’re finally granted access to the restricted section to find it. 

And you do. Except your palm meets warm skin instead of the cold leather cover of a book. You pause, glancing up as sharp, teal eyes meet your gaze, staring at you expectantly as if you should be the one letting go. But you need this book. It’s the final research element to finish your thesis, and you’d like to be done with it. End of story. No matter how devastatingly handsome the man (because he is handsome, you’ll admit at least that much), you will not be handing over the last, final key to your academic freedom.

“Um, excuse me,” you say politely, “I was kind of reaching for that.”

“As was I,” he says, staring at you with a bored, almost uncaring expression. Your eyes narrow. “Now, if you’d please kindly take your hand off of mine.”

“I believe it should be you taking your hand off of mine,” you correct, huffing as you add stubbornly, “I reached for it first.”

He blinks at you, bland and a little irritated, as he points out, “Your hand is on top of mine, which means I reached the book first.”

Well.

Maybe if you were feeling particularly patient, you’d be inclined to admit that, yes, he does have a point. But stubbornness, combined with pure exhaustion, has you at your wit's end, and if you have to play the role of a difficult student, then so be it. You’re pretty sure you need it more, and you’re probably a much speedier reader anyway. You’ll have it done and returned in no time.

This guy, on the other hand…he doesn’t look too bright. You’re not willing to take your chances and let him walk off with a book that you might never see again.

“I started reaching for it first,” you scowl, “you just sped up your hand once you saw me. I should get it.”

“Unlikely,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even see you. Although,” he gives you a once over with his eyes, making you feel uncomfortably seen under his judging gaze, “I suppose you were a bit easy to miss.”

You gape at him. “Just what does that mean?”

“It means,” he smirks, taking the opportunity to grab the book as you stand in shock, “that I got here first.”

“Hey!” You glare at him, seeing red for a moment. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly handsome face—and such an awful attitude coupled with his ridiculously smug grin couldn’t make for a worse combination. But, before you can even say anything, the book is being pressed back into your hands.

“You seem like you want it more than I do, though,” he hums, “I suppose I can let you have it. It’s a bit outdated for this ordinance, anyway.” With that, he saunters off. You push down the soft flutter in your heart for a moment and force yourself to hope you’ll never see him again. (Faintly, you hope your wishes don’t come true—but you refuse to admit it to yourself.)

Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time) for you, you do see him again. Many, many times, in fact. When he works in the House of Daena as often as he does, and you like to spend all your free time there to study if you can, you’re both bound to run into each other often. Very often. 

And sometimes, it’s quite literally running into him. 

“Oof,” you hiss, staggering backward and hitting your head against the bookshelf behind you as you bump into a sturdy figure. You drop the books in your hand, blinking before reaching to rub your read as you start to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—oh. It’s you.”

“It’s me,” he says, looking mildly entertained. Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere. You can’t escape him if you try, and now, you can’t even avoid him in your own personal space. “Although, I think I should be the one apologizing this time. I was too busy reading to pay attention. This section is usually empty at this time.”

“How often are you in here to know what section is empty at what time?” You raise a brow. 

“Too often to be considered good for my well-being,” he says dryly, sighing in misery. You crack a smile at that. Oddly enough, so does he—you don’t think you’ve ever heard someone say they’ve seen Alhaitham smile. It must be a rare sight that only you, and perhaps a very few others, can say they’ve witnessed. “I was just about to take a break to buy a coffee—I’ll bring one back for you, too, to make up for the cranial damage I’ve supplied.”

“A most wonderful idea,” you perk up instantly, “I love when I get to drain the wallet of a man.”

He gives you an amused look at that. And somehow, bringing you a coffee along with his own during his breaks is a habit that seems to stick for a long, long while after that. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY TWO.

Alhaitham’s feelings are hurt. Not a lot of words tend to do that—he’s been blessed with thick skin and an unbothered attitude to a fault, sometimes. But something about today, for some odd reason, hurts his feelings. 

Your words to the waiter who took your order keep ringing in his head. 

Oh goodness, no, we are definitely not dating!

Most people mistake you and Alhaitham for a pair of lovers rather than a pair of friends. It’s just the way things go when a man and a woman are seen together for extended periods of time over and over. It doesn’t help that Alhaitham doesn’t really have any friends. He had one before you, but…well, things are complicated now. Far too complicated to think about it more than necessary. He has you, and that’s enough. But the matter still stands that most people tend to assume that something blossoms between the two of you that isn’t just friendly. 

He was starting to think it was true himself, too. He knows it’s true from his end, at least. But you say those words with such a sure, definitive tone that it almost sounds like you’re offended by the notion of being seen as his girlfriend. And sure, he would be disappointed—he’s no liar—if you didn’t feel romantically for him, but he’d understand. It’s not something you can help. But you brush off the idea like it’s an anomaly of sorts in the universe for someone like you and someone like Alhaitham to be a couple. It hurts his feelings. More than it should. 

(He knows deep down, in the depths of his heart, that you don’t mean it that way. You never would. But irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance.)

Alhaitham knows from a young age he’s different than most kids his age. This fact doesn’t change as he gets older. He’s brighter than most of his peers—which is certainly saying something because Sumeru is a nation filled with enough sharp minds, it’s as though brilliance were the average trait. People don’t typically like Alhaitham (which is fine by him, he doesn’t like most of them, either. They mostly don’t meet his standards). The kids don’t play with him in the parks that Grandmother would leave him at while she shopped around at the market, and they don’t sit with him on his one and only day at the Akademiya when he is but an elementary scholar. It never bothered him. He preferred reading under the trees and self-learning at home, anyway. When he’s older and enrolled in the Akademiya full-time, they don’t prefer to partner with him for projects for any other reason than simply being guaranteed a good grade, and they don’t spare him a glance when they all converse in groups outside of class. He never cared for freeloaders, anyway—he only trusts himself for projects, and he is at the Akademiya to learn, not make friends. 

It’s not until he meets Kaveh does he consider the idea that friendships are meaningful enough to spare some effort into. But the end result of that only solidifies that he is best when in solitude. 

But then he meets you. Some part of Alhaitham knows very early on that you would never be just a friend to him. If it was friendship that he craved, he would have looked for it elsewhere before running into you. Something about you from the very beginning makes him yearn for things much deeper than that. Things that remind him of his parents. 

Friendship is fleeting. People at the Akademiya go their separate ways and meet new people. They fall out and have arguments. They grow up and grow apart and become different. But love blooms like the Kalpalata lotuses on a vine, timeless as time itself. It starts and never ends, one root stemming into more and more vines until they never stop growing.

Alhaitham has fallen in love with you. Logic tells him it’s only a recent development, but his heart has known this outcome would be brought about for a long, long time. And, in all truthfulness, your words have hurt his feelings. 

And yet, he still loves you through it. He thinks that even if you crushed his feelings with a cold, indifferent smile, he would still love you through it. 

A hand waves in front of his face, pulling him from his thoughts as you take a sip from your coffee. Puspa Cafe is not as busy at this hour, most people are in the middle of a work day, but Alhaitham is allowed to pick his lunch hour, and yours happens to be earlier than most.

“Sorry, I just have to ask—are…are you upset?” you ask gently, making him pause. 

Yes.

“No,” he says simply, “why would I be?”

“You seem upset.”

“I’m not.”

“You were fine up until…I don’t know, a few minutes ago. Is something on your mind?”

You know him so well, he thinks. How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?

“I’m simply concerned about your sugar intake is all,” he eyes the cold, iced drink in your hands with more syrups than he deems necessary. You always have a penchant for choosing the sweetest drink off the menu, and Alhaitham will never understand how your teeth don’t rot.

“Well, that’s very funny,” you roll your eyes, “because I was just thinking about how low on vitamin D you must be—do you ever leave your study to see the sun?”

He spares you a soft chuckle at that, shaking his head before taking a sip of his own coffee—hot and black and with two spoons of sugar. Simple, like how he prefers. You make a face at his drink as he sets it down. 

“Have you ever thought about what you look for in a partner?” he asks suddenly, making you blink in shock for a moment. He flinches at his own forwardness just a tad. 

“Umm, I suppose a little here and there…why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he shrugs, “just curious what your type was, that’s all. You’re painfully single, so I figured your taste was rather distinct.”

“Rude,” you scoff, rolling your eyes enough that he thinks it’s safe to assume you’re not suspicious. “Are you here just to poke fun at my choices today?”

Alhaitham should not be asking you this. Not when the answer so clearly is going to hurt his already very bruised feelings. Of course, your type won’t be him. And, of course, he is going to mourn your answer the second you give it, which is his own fault considering he’s the one who asked. (He has to wonder, for a moment, if this constitutes as an undiscovered hidden kink of his and whether or not he really just gets off on some unnecessary pain. Why else would he willingly subject himself to this?)

But, he’s caught off guard when you shrug and simply say, “I suppose someone who’s intelligent. I’d appreciate some good discussions. And…and maybe someone who’s kind, y’know? I would be rather sad if they were mean,” you pretend to sniffle dramatically.

“That’s…that’s it?” He tilts his head in equal parts shock and equal parts confusion. 

“What did you expect me to look for in a partner?” You snort, “A three-story mansion? A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on?” 

“Well, no,” he rolls his eyes, “Maybe something a bit less generic to narrow down your pool, I suppose, but if that’s your bar, so be it. There are far too many men who are intelligent and kind, you know.”

“Yes, but none of them show me any signs of interest,” you pout, “I must be undesirable or something.”

I desire you, he wants to say. He can’t quite find the courage to get the words out, though—and as if the universe has it completely out for him, the same waiter from earlier who is responsible for asking you the question that kills Alhaitham’s mood for the day comes back with the bill. And something else, too. 

Something that kills his mood for the week. 

His jaw clenches a tad when you flush at the note scribbled on a napkin for you, eyeing your flustered reaction while you read over the words: I get off at eight if you’d like to find me. You stare for a moment before you murmur, “Well, look at that. A sign of interest—it must be the Dendro Archon’s divine power.”

“The Divine have no say over who you fall for,” he insists.

“You don’t know that,” you hum thoughtfully, “The God of Wisdom knows her people better than anyone else, you know. I’d like to think she knows when love is bound for two people.”

You fold the napkin carefully and keep it in your pocket, and Alhaitham fishes out his mora pouch with stiff fingers. He leaves a very shoddy tip on the table before he exits after you. 

────────────────────────

TWENTY THREE.

You wake up in his bed. 

It’s a foggy memory, but you know you fucked Alhaitham after more sips of wine than you can count and one flirty comment too many. It happened in a blur last night, and you can’t say you’re surprised that it finally happened at all. Alhaitham is a man just like any other, and mingling pleasure with friendship is a normal thing to do. Falling under him on his mattress is not something you never had daydreams of—but the truth of the matter is that your daydreams don’t just stop with the bed.

They end with a toothbrush beside his in the bathroom. A mug next to his in the kitchen. Your shoes kicked off along with his at the entrance of a home. Your laughter and his bouncing off of the walls. A ring, maybe. One on your hand and one on his. 

In your imagination, it starts with pleasure, but it ends with love.

Falling in love with Alhaitham is a peaceful ordeal. He’s dependable and inherently kind. Strong and impressively capable. Intelligent and objectively handsome. You’d bring him home to your mother and father, and they’d thank Lord Kusanali for smiling down upon their humble little family and their darling little daughter by sending such a divine man your way. 

You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy, but you know loving him became as simple as breathing. You never thought about it. Never learned to do it. Never questioned it, even. You inhale the scent of his spicy, woody cologne and exhale the warm breath of your affections stored in your lungs. He lives somewhere nestled so deep in your ribcage that you think you’d have to crack each of them one after the other before you could pry him out.

You love Alhaitham. You think you know everything there is to know about loving him. You think you’d do it right—better than anyone else. 

He only drinks his coffee when it’s piping hot, and his wine can never be one degree less than iced. He has dry hands, but he hates the feeling of lotion. He doesn’t like raw onions but he doesn’t mind them cooked. When the sun is in his eyes, he’s in a foul mood, but he enjoys napping under the warm rays, much like a cat. He laughs surprisingly boyishly from his belly if you manage to deliver a dry yet clever enough joke, and he clears his throat and gets a bit shy once he’s realized he’s let it out. He twirls his pen in his hand when he’s bored, and he only uses the kind with gel ink because they write smoother. 

You love Alhaitham. For you, it’s always been him. 

When you wake up to his bare, warm body next to yours, breathing peacefully with an arm thrown over your waist, you can’t help but selfishly wish he’d stay asleep all day. Just for a day. Just for the amount of time you get in between the sun’s departure and the moon’s arrival. Just so you can watch him exist in this moment where it’s you, him, and the liminal space between friends and lovers. Just so you can admire how beautiful he is without worrying about his eyes opening and the inevitable conversation of what you’re both doing is brought up. 

People (like Kaveh, or Dehya, or Tighnari, or…anyone) tend to insist that Alhaitham loves you. It’s obvious, they say, just as obvious as your love for him. You never believe it. It’s not because he’s bad at love or because you’re bad for him. You think he’d make a good lover—contrary to popular belief, you don’t think Alhaitham is uninterested in intimacy or affection. And you think you’d make a good girlfriend—unlike other people, you understand him and like what you see. 

But he doesn’t love you. That much is a fact you’ve long accepted. It’s not because you’re bad for him or because he’s incapable of feeling—but rather, it’s just that bitter, soul-crushing reality that you can’t help who you love and who you don’t. Alhaitham doesn’t love you—it’s not something either of you can really change. Because if he did, he’d waste no time. He’d get to the heart of the matter and quit dancing around the issue. 

It’s just the kind of guy that he is. 

So, because this is your first and likely last time seeing him this way, you slowly reach over and brush a few strands of messy, unruly bedhead from his forehead before cupping his cheek in your hand. His skin is soft and warm under your palm, much more delicate to the touch than you anticipated from how chiseled his features are. Your thumb gently brushes along the slant of his cheekbone, eyes softening at how he lets out a puff of air as he sleeps. 

“Morning,” he says hoarsely, eyes still closed and making you jolt in surprise. He lets out a quiet, sleepy chuckle that would make you melt if not for the way your heart still pounds from the shock. 

“You’re awake?”

“Mhm,” he hums, nodding before finally cracking an eye open. “For a while now.”

“Why pretend to sleep then, you creep?” You scoff, glaring at him as he sits up slightly and glances at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. No part of him seems to be shocked about you being nude in his bed. Or the fact that you’re even in his bed at all, nude or not. 

“You’re the creep if we’re being technical here. It’s undoubtedly a little on the creepy side to study someone with such careful touches while they sleep.”

“That’s your main concern…?” You stare at him—and for lack of better words, you’re dumbfounded. You and Alhaitham have been friends for two years and counting. You’ve never once crossed the line or even toed at it to step beyond the border of anything more. And, yet, here you are. In his bed. Completely nude. He was lying there and felt your delicate touch along his skin, felt you act like a lover and not a friend on a quiet, intimate morning when in fact, you both should be shamefully avoiding each other’s eyes in a moment that’s anything but intimate as you leave. 

He makes no move to ask you to leave or even question why you’re still here. You make no move to really leave—it’s not like you want to. 

“What should my main concern be, then?” he looks at you expectantly, like he really doesn’t know.

“Oh, I don’t know, Alhaitham—shouldn’t you be a little more panicked by the idea that I’ve trespassed into your bed and seen you…bare?”

“Well, to be fair, you didn’t trespass. I let you in—and also, to be fair, I saw the same for you, too, so we’re even.”

“You’re oddly calm about this,” you hiss. “This doesn’t bother you even a little? That things might change?”

He looks at you funny—like you’ve just told him a joke that hardly makes sense but makes him want to laugh anyway. “You’re too brilliant to be this dense,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m quite open to the idea of change.”

You take offense to the first part enough to completely miss the second part of his statement. 

“I am not dense,” you huff, “I’m incredibly bright. I’ll have to send you my thesis sometime.”

“No need,” he responds through a low hum. He pulls you closer, flush against his chest. Bare skin on skin. Intimate skin, at that. You shiver for a moment as his warm, large hand wanders lower and lower before stopping just at the small of your back, rubbing slow circles at the dimple where your spine ends. “I’ve read it plenty of times. It was very insightful.”

“Well, in that case, you should know not to insult my intelligence—”

“If you don’t notice my affection for you, I’m afraid you might not be as observant as I initially thought.”

You pause. Your heart flutters. Then it feels like it decays. Your eyes widen a fraction. Then they feel like they need to be squeezed shut for fear of tears. You feel your fingers twitch to reach for him. And yet they stiffen in distrust. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you whisper. Because you don’t.

You really fucking don’t. You thought you knew. His feelings and how to read them. His thoughts and how his mind works. Every little quirk of his and how he approaches every damn thing in this world. You thought you knew.

Now you feel like you don’t know much of anything, especially not what he means right in this moment. 

“You don’t?” He whispers, hand moving to grab your wrist and bring it to his cheek so his lips can brush along the delicate lines of your palm prints. (If he was brave, he’d tell you that his destiny and yours are written in those very lines. Maybe someday he’ll build the courage.)

“No,” you say through a shaky whisper. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you. Just like you love me.” He says it so plainly, that you almost feel like it's a dry, cruel joke. (You know him a little better than that, though, to know he’d never.)

“How do you know I love you?” you challenge just because it’s all you have left to cling to—easy, instant denial. 

He laughs. Soft. Quiet. Melodic. So fucking sweet. “I’m too smart to act dense,” Alhaitham teases. And then, for a moment, his eyes soften enough that they almost look vulnerable. “And only someone who loves me could deal with my… peculiarities. Though, I will admit, it took me quite a while to reach this conclusion. You made me work for it.”

“If you’ve known all along—” 

“Not all along,” he corrects, “like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion. But once I did, it was rather obvious.”

You scowl with a finger prodding into his chest, eyes misty with relief and the faintest traces of agitation, “Well, regardless, why haven’t you said something all this time? Obviously, I wasn’t as aware as you seem to be, so the least you could have done is spared me the pining and heartbreak of wondering if you’d ever look at me—”

“I wanted to make sure I could offer you a peaceful life first,” he says gently. You blink. He smiles, eyeing something in the distance—you don’t quite catch it, but you think it might be the old, worn-out stack of envelopes sitting on his desk. 

“What?”

“When you’re with me,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush over yours, “I can lead a peaceful life. I wanted to make sure I could give you the same.”

“And what does that consist of?” you raise a brow. 

“Well,” he murmurs, pecking the corner of your mouth, “A stable job with a generous income, which I now have. A fixed schedule, which I have also negotiated. A proper home to house the both of us, which you are comfortably laying in. And…” he grabs your hand, bringing it to his chest where his heart is beating erratically, “A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on, which I have dedicatedly worked to add to my physique for you.”

“Haitham!” you squeal, shoving him away with a horrified shriek as he laughs with a wide grin. You don’t even know why he still remembers that comment to poke fun at it, but you suppose that is the tragedy of falling for a prodigious scholar. His mind is sharp. And so is his memory. “Enough!”

“Okay, okay,” he grins smugly. “I want us to lead a peaceful life.”

“There’s not a lot of peace I am counting on with you.”

“I will elect to ignore that statement,” he says dryly, “But that’s why I waited this long,” he buries his face into your neck, nose pressing into the skin as he inhales, “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer, though. Won’t you accept my frugal attempt at a serene life with you?”

“Perhaps I can make do,” you fight back a stupid grin.

He smiles into your neck. You can feel it. You can practically see it. You hope you’ll grow old with it, too. 

“Then I suppose I’m forever indebted to your graciousness, my love.”

────────────────────────

TWENTY FOUR.

When Alhaitham was eight, Grandmother told him the story of how his parents had fallen in love. It was a typical love story, he thought at the time—nothing overly special or unique. A simple, sweet bond between two people who became friends and something more along the way.

What stood out were the letters. Not very much at first, but with time, he’d realized how special they were. 

Grandmother handed him the letters with a soft, melancholy look in her eyes that made him realize he hadn’t just lost his father and mother. She had lost her son and daughter-in-law. Alhaitham felt the absence of his parents often. It was hard not to at that age—he didn’t have a father to throw a ball to or tag along with to the market. He didn’t have a mother to hum him a melody or make his favorite dish for dinner. But Grandmother filled the gaps in those places well enough that even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled between the cracks.

But he was no son. Not a proper one for her at her age, anyway. She raised him like he was her own, but she grew older every day, and he didn’t grow fast enough to keep up. He couldn’t take care of her in her old age the way his father would have. He couldn’t do much besides bring the vegetables for her to cut or set the table while she cooked. He couldn’t offer her the mora when she went to the market or carry too many of the heavy bags while they walked home. He couldn’t let her rest in her old age too much because, regardless of how mature and bright he was for his age, Alhaitham was just a child. Her child, nonetheless—Grandmother didn’t let him forget that fact. But a child.

When she died, he arranged the funeral alone. He didn’t cry throughout the whole ordeal. Her old colleagues from way back in her Akademiya days came, as did some of his parents’ old acquaintances. No one he knew too familiarly, though—no one who really mattered when they clasped his shoulder and told him to hang in there.

She was a good woman. He knew that already.

She was very intelligent. A very obvious fact.

She was exceptionally kind. A rather unsurprising observation.

She loved very deeply. Well. That one stung—as true as it might have been.

He remembers it so vividly still. How he had walked home alone after it all. How he had taken off his tie (a very poorly tied tie, at that—Grandmother had always helped him before) and silently entered his room.

It wasn’t until he had eyed his desk that finally, it all sank in. The notes—the ones his father had so carefully written his mother while they were still just starting to fall in love, sat there as if waiting for him. He read them one by one, just like he had so many times before. He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a rivulet of his sorrow landed from his cheek to the page, staining the paper a darker shade of heartache. 

Alone. 

That’s all Alhaitham had ever been since the tender age of four. At least, that’s what people had always thought—but he’d never felt the sorrow people tended to feel for him. Not having a father and mother was okay. Hard at times, but okay. Grandmother had been everything he needed. More than what he needed, in fact. 

Grandmother was everything. And she had left him just the same way his parents had. He’d cried that night—alone in a house that was nothing more than just a house. Not a home, not a place where he could return to and look forward to it. Not a place where love was waiting for him to shelter him as soon as he came back from the cruel, outside world.

Grandmother was gone. Mother and father had left so long ago. But they all had each other—in whatever world they’d crossed to, they’d had each other. 

He remembers it all so vividly still. How he’d read his father’s words, and for the first time in all his life, he’d craved it. What his parents had. 

To my love, my soul, my heart. I am yours, always. 

He wondered that night, through teary and blurry eyes, if love like that would ever find him. If he’d one day be able to call someone his love, soul, and heart.

He thinks now, as you laugh with your head tilted forward and a tweezer in hand while sitting on his lap, that he can. 

“Hold still, you,” comes your teasing remark, “you said this would be nothing. Now look at you.”

“You’re being too harsh,” he grumbles, pouting slightly. With a smile, you bend your neck down and press a soft kiss to his jutted lips, humming before pressing an extra one to the corner of his mouth for good measure. (And yes, the grand sage—acting, you can almost hear him correct in your own head—can pout. He is rather frequent at curling those lips of his in your presence when he wants something, in fact. Or when he is teased too much. Something about you brings about a side of him that is much less stoic and far more dramatized.)

“You can just admit it hurts, you know,” you say through an amused snort.

“It won’t hurt if you just do it right.”

“I’m an expert at tweezing eyebrows,” you huff, “I do mine all the time. And I would know that it hurts.”

“It can’t be that painful,” he clicks his teeth, “just be gentle.”

“I cannot gently pull out a hair from your follicle, Haitham—I don’t know what you want me to—hey!”

He grabs the tweezers from your hand and pulls you close, hugging you tight enough that his nose digs into your skin a bit as he buries it into your neck. It’s Saturday. His first out of two days off for the week—standard scribe work weeks are nine to five on weekdays, and he very much appreciates his weekends away from the bustling, lively Akademiya nonsense. 

Saturday happens to be your day off, too. 

“Where is Kaveh?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. He raises a brow, eyeing the suspicious movement of your fingers.

“Working with a client in Aaru Village. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Why am I not enough company for you?”

“Oh, be quiet,” you roll your eyes, and this time, your hands wander under his shirt, palms slowly dragging along his chiseled, planed abdomen while he shivers slightly under your touch. “I was just asking if…”

“If…?” he urges you to continue.

You know he knows. But, for the sake of indulging his smug, teasing little game, you huff and push his shirt up to expose his chest before murmuring, “If we would be interrupted or not. I don’t fancy such awkward run-ins with your roommate.”

“Our roommate,” he corrects, “this is your home, too.”

“Yes,” you smile, brushing your palms over his pectorals, watching as he stiffens when you graze along his nipples, “I suppose it is.”

“Well, he’s not here. And he won’t be, so kiss me,” he demands through a breathy whisper. You do. You kiss him instantly—because kissing Alhaitham is what you do best. When he’s happy, sad, angry, distressed, or just plain tired, kissing him is how you know him the most. When your breaths exchange and your life force and his mingle to become one, singular unit. 

You sigh into his mouth, letting his hands cradle your jaw and tilt your head to better meet his mouth, all while your hands still explore his upper half. He moans under your touch, cock springing to life slowly below you through his pants. You angle your hips forward, inching higher up his lap to drag your crotch along his and help the erection grow against the friction. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, hard and heavy between his legs in no time. 

“Haitham,” you breathe, feeling that familiar ache build between your own thighs. 

You kiss him like that for a bit. Messy, deep, sloppy, and so, so slow. With all the time in the world. Languid strokes of your tongue against his as he rolls his hips up from underneath you, dragging his clothed, bulging cock against your dripping cunt. The fabric separates you, rudely so, and it’s not long until you both grow tired of it. 

“Off,” you whine, tugging at his pants, “off, off, off!”

“So demanding,” he chuckles, pecking your nose sweetly before he lifts his hips, letting you slide off his sweatpants. “Satisfied?” 

“Yes,” you beam, “You always give me what I want. It’s my favorite thing about you.”

His gaze darkens at that—not for any other reason than it makes him so incredibly filled with lust when you speak to him like that. So spoiled and happy about it because it’s him. Him. You’re happy that it’s him. And he’s happy that it’s you. 

You don’t even bother undressing yourselves fully—he pulls down your own pants just enough to expose your pretty, leaking folds, and his hands wander under your shirt, where he almost short-circuits for a moment. Braless. Because you just love to drive him mad, he thinks. This much easy access to your soft, delicate breasts and the pert nipples that decorate them is enough to make him curse under his breath as his thumbs tease over them. 

“You’re a tease.”

“For simply existing?” you gasp, making him crack a small grin. 

“Yes,” he hums, “Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.”

You hum, reaching forward to gently take his hard, leaking cock into your hand and give a light, teasing squeeze. “Maybe my goal is to turn you completely into a lost cause.”

“Then,” he groans, throwing his head back against the couch cushions while he breathes harshly, “then you’re definitely succeeding. Is that what you wished to hear?”

“Yes,” you whisper, kissing his jaw, “It is, actually.”

It doesn’t take long at all before Alhaitham has tossed you back against the couch, laughing as you shriek at the sudden change of position. You glare at him, fighting back your own chorus of giggles as he moves to hover over you, kissing and biting playfully along your cheeks. 

“I love you,” he mumbles.

“Aw, so sweet,” you coo, “say that again.”

He rolls his eyes. His lips curl into the brightest grin at the same time. My love, my soul, my heart—the words are ingrained in his memory always. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” you whisper.

He leans in for a soft, slow kiss as the tip of his leaking cock slides against your folds, tapping against your clit before rubbing along your entrance. You gasp, shuddering against him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

“You know,” he murmurs, “I could get used to this.”

“Sex on the couch? We can do that any time—”

“A weekend with just the two of us,” he groans, dropping his head to your neck as you laugh loudly. Bright. Airy. A sound the wind carries to him in his subconscious. He hears you even when you’re not there—even when you aren’t around, he searches for you. 

“Oh,” you say playfully, “Yeah, I guess that’s nice too, isn’t it?”

“I’ll show you just how nice it’s about to be,” he hums. The tip of his thick, blunt head is pressed against your folds—you’re leaking just as much as he is. You slick, and his pre cum mix for a messy collision of arousal as he presses into you slowly, so carefully, you feel like you could break at any second with how he handles you. 

He’s patient. When Alhaitham fucks you, he’s patient enough that you feel like his other half and not his means of pleasure. Like he fucks you for you and not for himself. 

“More,” you insist, impatient as you add, “I can take it.”

“Patience is a virtue,” he clicks his teeth, “I want to take my time feeling you.”

And he does. He rolls his hips slowly. So slowly, you feel delirious. It’s a painful, gradual build-up of pleasure that has you trying to roll your hips into him to meet him halfway, a pathetic attempt when he’s on top of you to press his weight down on you to keep you in place. 

“Please, Haitham,” you whine, sweat shining across your sweet, pleasure-hazed face as he stares down at you, “Please more. I need it—need you. Need all of you.”

“You have all of me,” he groans, feeling the tight walls of your cunt squeeze around him, the squelching noise of his thick girth bullying into your folds in and out, in and out, in and out, driving him to the brink of insanity. “You’ve always had every piece of me.”

“I want more,” you hiss. 

He lets out a breathy laugh that turns into a soft moan. “If that’s what you want.”

The next thing you know, two strong, muscled arms are grabbing your thighs and bringing them around his torso to wrap around him, and his large hands grab your hips and pull, practically manhandling you deeper onto his cock. You shudder, letting out a shrill, high-pitched gasp as he intrudes further into your cunt, nudging the head of his cock against your sweetest of spots and making your body tremble. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, “Haitham, fuck—fuck, you feel so good. So deep—love when you fuck me like this.”

“Yeah?” he murmurs, kissing in between your pretty little scrunched-up eyebrows, “I love fucking you like this, too. When you take me so well, squeeze so tight, and let me feel you like the good girl you are.”

His words make your folds squeeze around him, and fuck—he’s close. So fucking close, the pad of his rough, callused thumb meets your clit as he rubs circles, trying to bring you to the edge before he goes plummeting himself. 

“‘M close—almost…almost there,” you pant.

“Me too, baby,” he groans. He slams into you, skin slapping against skin and the glistening sheen of it mixing your sweat together. His mouth parts with pretty, low sounds of his pleasure, and your face twists with the devastating rush of yours. 

Once. Twice. A third time, and you fall apart as he thrusts into you and presses the tip of his thick length against the spongey spot in the back of your walls. 

“Haitham,” you gasp, legs tightening around him as your nails press crescent shapes into his back. “Fuck, I’m c-cumming…oh, Gods.”

“Good,” he gasps, and with one last roll of his desperate hips, he spills into you, too. A thick, sticky, familiar rush of heat fills your cunt, topes of cum painting you white within with every twitch of his aching cock. “Fuck—you feel so good. So perfect—you were made for me. Me.”

“You,” you whisper, breathless. 

You let him shudder over you, fingers running through his hair as he finishes releasing his load into you before he slumps his wait over your body. It’s a small couch—decorative more than functional. (All thanks to Kaveh, of course.) But you don’t particularly care when you’re under him. It feels right all the same. 

“We have the house to ourselves this weekend,” he reminds you after some time of catching your breaths. “So…so we can do this all you want.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes as you poke his forehead. “You’re obscene.”

“I’m romantic,” he corrects, “I just want to be with you and nothing else. Can’t blame a man when he’s been gifted such a beautiful sight before him.”

“And cheesy, too,” you huff. 

He smiles. My love, my soul, my heart. 

——————————

You wake up Monday morning to Alhaitham already gone—it’s rare that he’s ever up before you. He leaves the house just in time to make it to work exactly on the dot and not a moment sooner or a moment later. But, as is with any Akademiya position, there are quarterly meetings that even the scribe can’t avoid. You giggle at the image in your head of a grumpy Alhaitham carefully tiptoeing around the room as he miserably gets ready for an early morning of extra work, all while making sure he doesn’t wake you. 

You yawn, sitting up to start your morning for your own day of work ahead—but it catches your eye before you can fully rise from bed, making you pause. 

A note? No, you realize almost instantly. Not just a note—a letter. 

To my love, my soul, my heart: Kalpalata lotuses will bloom soon. I forget how beautiful the world is sometimes, and I suppose it’s because I am always distracted by your beauty alone. Will you laugh as you read this? I suppose you might because even I must admit, it is a rather cliche thing to say. I can just picture your smile now, and I am certain I will have it memorized until my last breath. It’s easy to remember it so well when it’s all I see in my dreams. Have I told you how often I see you in them? It’s difficult to think that there was once a time in Sumeru when we did not dream. It seems like sleeping beside your body is no longer enough—your presence is required even in my slumber for me to truly be at peace.  Perhaps when the lotuses bloom, we can take a trip to the deeper parts of the rainforest to catch a glimpse of a few. They say the vines are blessed by The Lord herself. I was never one to seek out the divine, but perhaps with a gift as sacred as you, I should take the time to thank Lady Kusanali for granting such brilliance to take bloom in my presence. Only, the difference is that here with you, there are no cliffs to climb or seasons to await. You are mine to bloom, always—my precious, beautiful lotus.  Forever yours,  Haitham ♡

ITS DONE. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO MY FIRST AND LONGEST LOVE. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING AND MORE TO MEEEEE

[savethepinecones]

feeling feelings about my family again

[unholy-boi]

can you imagine being simon petrikov. the love of your life sacrificed herself to cure you from a cursed crown that trapped you in your own head for like a thousand years. you are the last living remnant of a time long gone. you dont know how to live without your fiance so you keep trying to summon her through increasingly morally grey acts. you want to die so fucking bad. god put a whole universe in your brain as a little treat for himself. a little girl keeps coming to your museum house to tell you she wants you to go back to being in fucked up. you are keeping an evil goose in a cage in your house and it mocks you. your daughter doesnt really need you as much as you need her and she has her own life now. the only way you can make a living is by capitalizing on the horror of your own displacement. while trying to summon your wife, a cat came out of the back of your head and proceeded to destroy your house and your shrine to your wife. you had to resuscitate the shitty evil goose to try to summon your wife again. This time a whole human woman came out of the back of your head. you really want to believe that she is just a manifestation of your prior madness. the goose is fully dead now and you have no more options in the way of getting your wife back. you go dissociate in the shower. god summons you in the nude to his fucked up room in front of the manifestations of your madness, now on-model to how theyre supposed to look. and then he shows you your final moments with your beloved fiance. and everyone is like wow simon you suck now. youre so lame now why are you so sad and stupid and lame. and theyre like dude just like get over it go do something else lol. you try to give up and god puts you on a fucking conveyor belt and tells you to perform the same ritual that youve been trying to use to get your wife back this whole time so you can put his favorite little guys back in your brain. their whole world is shitty because youre a normal guy now and they both want their world to be better and magical. heres a really good option for you: go back to being the fucked up guy that everyone wishes you were and essentially fade from existence while that guy takes your place everyone wins but you youre basically killing yourself and relapsing in one move. who gives a shit. might as well. youve got nothing to live for anymore anyways.

[ktjislove1119]

‧₊˚🖇️✩ tiktok trends they'd do with you

pairing : p1harmony x seventh! member -> i think its giving way more romantic than platonic but anywho!

rating : fluffy

yoon keeho : disco - surf curse

— wants to do a really cute one with you.

— it’s cute the way he asks you to do it, too. you’re chilling in the studio, working on some things for piwon and he knocks gently on the door and only entering when he hears you “come in” whoever was behind the door.

— he chills with you for a couple of minutes before “stumbling” (he had it saved to his favorites and was just trying to not make it obvious to you that he wanted to do it) across one of the tiktoks and starts cooing over it, without showing you, of course. because then when you just hear him “aww-ing” over a random thing on his phone, it makes you intrigued to watch it.

— then he shows it to you and waits for you to say something about how cute it is, and his smile only widens when you do agree and say that the couple in the vid was cute.

“so let’s do it!” he exclaims excitedly, smacking your arm to get you up.

“right now? kyo, i don’t look good,” you complain, rolling your head onto the headrest, but he’s just shaking his head.

”what are you talking about? you look so, boyfriend material, c’mon, get up!” he eggs you on, pulling on the tip of your hoodie, “you’re even wearing a hoodie and sweats, you look good.”

you roll your eye, not believing him, “no, i want to look good,”

“but i want to do it now,” the whine in his voice is hard to say no to, making you groan and get up out of your comfortable chair. he cheers quietly, hugging you by the waist and then setting up the phone to rest against your monitor, being the perfect distance away from you two to get a good angle and view.

“wait how does it even go,” you murmur, going to grab his phone and rewatch the video. but he stops you and starts simply explaining it, in grand detail. “hold on, is that your first time seeing the video or no?”

“sh, sh, just copy what i do,” he brushees off your assumption with a cheeky grin before demonstrating how to do it properly.

the tiktok took maybe a total of ten minutes to film, only because you two kept breaking out into laughter in the midst of filming it. at the end of the tiktok, before the seconds were up, he grabbed you into a tight hug and almost made you crash into your desk with the strong force. this made you both die of laughter for a couple minutes, watching back the footage and realizing you can clearly see the panic in your eyes as you guys almost fall down.

”that is a really cute trend,” you comment, now walking back to the dorms as he scrolls through the comments of the video that you two had just posted. “what are they saying?”

“they’re saying how handsome you look,” he says, in a matter-of-fact voice, bumping his shoulder with yours. “and also how we are the best duo in p1harmony,”

“well, don’t let intak hear that, or else we won’t hear the end of it,” you warn, opening the door tot he lobby of the dorm building, “he’s probably even made that we did the trend without telling the others about it,”

“probably,” keeho agrees, throwing his arm around your shoulder, “but there’s nothing he can do about it, haha,”

and truth be told, intak was sitting in the living room looking like a kicked puppy with the video playing on repeat from his phone in front of him.

“when i say this is my favorite duo in piwon I MEAN IT!!!”

“the way kyo just straight up tackled him….no ones taking him from u bro chill”

“theyre both giving boyfriends ( i need them BOAF immediately )”

choi taeyang - “wait!! they don’t love you like i love you! wait!!! they don’t love you like i love you!”

— i’m telling you this guy is all for the tiktok trends that are fun and whimsy.

— i imagine you two would be late as fuck on the trend since he doesn’t use tiktok much, but when he did see it when he was scrolling once, he wanted to try it out because he thought it was funny.

— shows it to you and is surprised to find out that it’s an old trend, but that doesn’t deter him since he still wants to do it with you duhh

— unlike keeho, very straight up with telling you that he wants to do it. he thinks its funny and entertaining anyway, plus you two are probably gonna laugh your asses off filming it.

“wait, how do you even move your hips that fast?” he asked, inspecting the video as if he had to study it for an exam.

“there’s a setting, it’s 3 times the speed, so it sounds slow when you film, but it’ll speed up the video…they can’t actually move that fast, taeyang,” he slow blinks at the explanation, pursing his lips and noddnig his head as if he were impressed.

“technology…”

“what?” you burst out laughing, taking the phone from his hand and then setting it up for you two. the timer on, the speed setting being properly set, you made sure that everything would have gone fine.

and it would have! if it weren’t for you two breaking out into laughter after each “wait!!” it was just so funny, the way the sound was slowed down and how you had to time your movement with the sound. it had you guys retaking it like five times before you were satisfied with the product. theo’s face was bright red after the entire ordeal.

your guys hair was messy because you two were doing the dance so aggressively and plus the fact you had to do it five times over. when you finally watched the finished product, he was slapping your arm at how funny the two of you looked. it was fun and theo definitely didn’t regret asking you to do the dance with him because it made you two laugh so hard.

“theo really put his all into this shit LMAFOAO”

“you can see how tired they are…how many takes this did this take [name] and theo be honest”

“not theo almost tipping [name] over with how aggressive his dancing was”

choi jiung - tuberão te amo

— okay wait he would eat this shit up. he thinks the dance is so fun and cool + the fact it looks like you guys are “versing” each other make shim even more eager to try it out with you.

— probably saw seba and fernanda do it and was like wait they’re really funny, but also really good….me and [name] are both really funny and really good, we should do it together :DDD hence him walking into your dorm room late at night with the proposition.

— obviously, you were down because hello it’s funny and the excited look on jiung’s face was just too cute to say no to.

it only takes you two a couple of watches to get the dance down (goated). the first time you guys did the dance, jiung accidentally slapped your face with his palm since he was so enthusiastic and excited about the dance. plus the timing was a little off, thus resulting in you guys taking a break for a couple minutes to make sure your face was okay.

“i am so sorry,” he apologized in between breathy laughs, making you slap his chest.

“you don’t even sound sorry, jiung, shut up,” he laughed once again, that high pitched one that makes him fall to his knees. he held onto you to prevent himself from falling over. “let’s just do it again, oh my god,” you say, letting your face go and hoping that you wouldn’t be red or swell up later.

“i’m sorry, i’ll buy your favorite snacks after this,” he muses, a playful grin still on his face. he grabs the phone, saving the draft that showed him slapping your face, giggling as he did so. while you just smacked him again, telling him to get the next take ready already.

it didn’t take many more tries after that, occasional slip ups, but they were corrected in the next take anyway. by the time you two were finished, you both were passionately singing the song and rewatching your tiktok over and over.

“that dance was actually really fun,” you breathe out, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, jiung joining you. he sat close, but not on top of you (a habit almost all the other members had). you could feel his body mimicking the dance moves every now and then, making you smile at his behavior. after a couple more rewatches, he showed it to you with a hopeful smile.

“i can post it?”

“of course, ji, it looks really good, plus funny,” you smile, making him nod in agreement and then hit the “share” button the tiktok. he leaned his head against your shoulder, in exhaustion as well as just wanting to share some skinship. in a couple of mere seconds, comments from p1ece were rolling in, which you were both reading and laughing at.

“chocochip dads ATE THIS UPPPP!!!” “don’t him em too hard with that reverse, jiung!!”

“this is acc so hilarious, they’re so into it omg”

hwang intak - idk the name of it so imma just describe it, it’s where usually the girl stands still and her bf walks into frame and just casually picks her up (literally sweeps her off of her feet) and continues walking on until they’re out of frame, carrying her.

— he thinks the trend is so cute and romantic and wants to do it with you so badly.

— even goes as far as making it in the form of a small compilation!! he plans it out, so that each time it’s a new cut, you guys are in a new place. films it during one of your guys’ world tours and thinks of it as also a cute gift to p1ece.

— p1ece get to see you guys in their own cities, as well as your comfortability with each other, and he gets to literally sweeps you off of your feet each time he films…obviously, he’s going to see it as a win-win.

“what should the audio be?” intak thinks out loud, scrolling through the saved audios that were on the account, furrowing his brow, “nothing is cute enough,” he whines, walking over to you and waiting for you assistance.

“we can just leave the audio as it is, or add it in later,” you suggest, leaning into his side and looking at the ones he was scrolling past, “kyo always saves so many to use later and never ends up using them,”

he only sighs in response, finally settling on there being no audio (for now). he sets the time limit to 10 minutes, for some reason, and goes to prop up the phone far away. you were currently in chicago for tour, the view behind you being the easily recognizable architecture of the bridges as well as buildings. you two were near the water, rather than being on the bridges itself, so the view was really pretty.

“so you’re the one coming into frame?” you clarify, standing back and looking at the camera.

“yeah,” he smiles so wide his eyes crinkle, “you ready?”

“if you are,” you say in return.

he sets the timer to 10 seconds, to give you guys enough space to get ready, then steps back. you watch the numbers tick, smiling at the way intak was excitedly waiting. when it began filming, you played the simple role of just standing there and waiting. then when intak finally came into frame, he very easily picked you up with his one arm and continued on walking as if you weighed nothing.

you yelped at the strong arm around you, making him look at you with the most fond smile. then he settled you down, aggressively kissing the top of your head, before walking off to check on the footage.

the same process repeats over for each city you guys stop over, until the video is over a minute long. he doesn’t waste a second before posting it, eager to see what p1ece had to say. he’s giggling in your bed for the rest of the night, even kicking his feet up and down, as he lays beside you and reading the comments.

“it’s giving boyfriends, if i can’t have [name] i guesssss intak can”

“they look so comfortable omg their fits are so cute”

“i love the way it was a different city each time, they’re so cutteeee”

haku shota - the bow trend, wants you to put the bow on him and vice versa

— shota is a fellow bow enthusiast, so when he saw the trend, he really wanted to do it with you.

— thinks its so cute, wants to smother you in bows and of course you let him.

— lets you choose where to put your bows on him, giggling the entire time because of how cute he thinks it is.

“here?” he asks, wide boba eyes looking at you for approval. you nod your head, watching as his fingers carefully took a long strip of the black material and cut it to be the perfect length. he decided to tie the bow over your head, going up from your chin to the top of your head. and he giggled at the sight of you sitting there, as if you were a gift wrapped.

he took the roll of material again and cut some more strips off, deciding each part to tie it around carefully. he settled on three areas, around your neck as if it were a choker, over your head, letting the bow rest on top, and then finally, tying it horizontally around your head, maknig the bow rest right on your nose bridge.

“really? sho, i can’t even see,”

“you don’t need to see,” he reasons, going to grab the phone and turning the lens into 0.5, “so cute, i love it,” he takes a couple of photos for himself, probably to make his homescreen, before he opens the tiktok app.

he already had the sound recently saved so he didn’t waste time in filming you for a couple of seconds. he didn’t even bother checking if it looked good as he was too excited to also be wrapped in bows by you. he handed you an identical roll of material, but this time it’s color being pink.

so you, still keeping the bows he tied on you in tact, cut your own strips off it and laughed at how fun it was to tie decorate soul. you chose both of his wrists, making small bow-like bracelets, his exposed bicep, and then a matching one over his head, the bow on top of his head. he smiling the whole time, blushing even, and it’s so prominent on his pale features.

you pinch his cheek in a teasing way before focusing on filming him. he poses cutely, showing off all of his bows to the camera, then excitedly jumping up to watch when you are finished. he hugs you from behind, careful to not ruin his bows, and asks to film the ending clip.

you obliged, of course, and turn it into selfie mode and pose with him. he’s smiling at the camera with you, then in the last couple of seconds, just turns his head and attacks you with a series of kisses, pecking your cheek over and over again until the video’s time was up.

“shota, you’re so cute,” you coo, wrapping your arm around his shoulder and taking him into your side.

“you are too,” he murmurs, watching the video with a content look on his face. his idea went through perfectly and he loved the results, plus it let him just give you as much affection as he wanted, so he was happy.

“soul and his bows, i’m glad he’s now spreadin the bow agenda with the other piwon members”

“is no one gonna talk about how cute the placements of their bows are? i wonder if they picked them for each other or for themselves…”

“soulie is always kissing on [name] id want to say im surprised, but im not”

kim jongseob - not really a trend, but he just compiles a whole video of you two taking care of each other which absolutely blows up and goes viral because of how lovey dovey it is, ppl are now convinced you two are dating.

— it’s a myriad of different clips of you just taking care of seob, doing various things that show your care and affection for him.

— he makes sure to include snippets of how he returns the favor to you, but the video is mainly centered around you and your mannerisms.

— you don’t even know he’s gotten all this footage of you being #whipped until he posts it on tiktok

“seobie, you want another blanket?” he’s laying down on the couch, subtly pointing the phone to you as he’s looking up at your concerned face, “it’s so cold here, what the hell? who changed the thermostat? i thought jiung and i told you guys to leave it alone,”

“it wasn’t me,” he weakly defends himself, but you just shake your head.

“it’s never you, because you’re the only good one here,” you say, extra emphasis on the word good so that it reaches the ears of the others in the dorm. you lean down and ruffle his hair slightly, “i’ll be back with more blankets and then we can watch a movie?”

“mhm, sounds good,” you smile at his response, pulling away and going to fetch the blanket as you had promised.

another clip shows the point of view of his phone propped up elsewhere, capturing the both of you on camera in the studio. your seats are pulled close together and you’re gently rubbing up and down his back, focused on the screen in front of you.

“i think it’d sound better if we just move this bit of keeho’s adlib, over to the—” jongseob’s lowkey got you tuned out as he’s so focused on you and your concentrated expression, admiring how hard you are working as well as how good you look while you do. you catch him staring, smiling and then smooshing his face away with your palm. “focus, seobie, i need your feedback on the arrangement already,”

“yes, sorry,” his tone is dull and monotone, trying to mask his slight embarassment. he grabs the mouse from you, suddenly invested in the work you had just done. you fondly look at him, bumping your forehead against his shoulder before refocusing on the task at hand.

there were many clips like that in the video, melting p1ece’s hearts. but the last one was jongseob’s personal favorite. he had fallen asleep in your room, sleeping soundly by your side, which gave you the perfect opportunity to steal his phone. you filmed a 0.5 video of yourself, whispering quielty, “love you jongseobie, rest welll,” at the camera before focusing the phone at him.

you were so touched watching the video, smothering him for a week straight after he had posted it. that was the closest you’d ever see how much jongseob’s eyes adored you, but even then this video wasn’t even half of that amount of love.

“jongseob really does love him wow, this is so sentimental”

“getting fomo on their friendship fr”

→ “ you mean their relationship…this was basc jongseob shouting how much he loves [name]”

“gotta be my favorite piwon x [name] tiktok yet, there r ltr tears in my eyes”

[ultimateloserboy]

duck and red guy are not good people.

ive probably said this a million times already but friendly reminder that they’re incredibly grey. they ruin their own lives just as much as the house does it for them, not to mention how theyre responsible for most of the turmoil in yellows life. duck especially loves with his entire heart, but that doesnt stop him from being a piece of shit.

a lot of you watch the series with this idea that the main three are poor innocent babies trapped and helpless when actually, if there was anywhere else to go (which its implied there isnt) red and duck would never fuckin get there because theyre too selfish and stupid to make it.

becky and joe said themselves in a QnA that yellow made it up the stairs alone because red and duck are just too cynical and selfish to ever make it anywhere. the second yellow started heading down the stairs it was over for him, because red and duck will NEVER listen. they want answers but are too stubborn to ever receive them. The house could be unlocked completely and theyd keep themselves there

Not to mention how they treat each other. they either enable each others shitty behavior, or give up on trying to stop each other. red starts to get onto duck for his behavior towards yellow, but then he joins in to make fun of him multiple times. because he doesnt actually care that much, and that apathy can make him cruel

i think a lot of you forget that even as they are normally, even on the regular floor— not even being bigger boys— they DROWNED THEIR FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!!

and they did it together, is what gets me. theyre codependent. theyre all the other really has, the only other adult really to talk to. they completely disagree on everything, having the opposite worldview of each other which causes them to argue constantly— but theyre all the other has. the only one as shitty as themself. they get stuck with each other in the bigger rooms. growing grotesque together, ruining themselves TOGETHER. they get farther apart. they speak to each other less. they torture smaller things for entertainment rather than talking with each other— but theyre still stuck together. glued to each others hip until the world stops spinning, but always being too cowardly and stubborn to be kind to one another and let themselves be happy together.

even when they reach clarity, or they hit an arc that makes them better people— theyll just forget tomorrow, and go right back to being terrible.

theyre not helpless. sure theyre victims, but not perfect ones— and they themselves have victims of their own

and dont even get me started on the mischaracterization of red in this fandom. YES hes just as bad as duck!!! hes not a fucking baby hes a grown ass man!!! he says the same shit as duck all of the time and yall see it differently cuz his voice is nicer to hear or he says it quieter. and may i add— he can be socially awkward and still an asshole. he can be neurodivergent and still an asshole. it doesnt cancel out, you dont have to pick one or the other.

yall take everything interesting out of these characters so you can make them sexymen but to me the sexiest part is the nuance of the character. duck and red are assholes but that doesnt make them unlikable, the show itself proves that. theyre incredibly likeable but still do terrible shit, and yall forget BECAUSE of how likeable they are.

this isnt meant to be some post to make you think theyre bad people that you should hate because thats bullshit. theyre not good people but theyre not overall bad people either. their actions are terrible but at the end of the day they can and have been better, even if only temporarily. there is a part of them that could easily fit into a happy family— a part of them that can heal each other instead of hurt each other. but unfortunately thats the part thats always erased

[tinydefector]

TURN BACK ANON MY ANONYMITY NOAAAAUUU /J

ive been thinking about this idea the whole day but imagine in human effects, a group of humans shamelessly talk about who they would bang bang in ll and them being superised that; minibots (cough swerve) are oddly popular because in the humans words 'thats probably the only size they can bear without being impaled to death', rung and ratchet is somehow in there because some have a preference for the old ladies (dilfs) etc etc

theyre talking thinking no ones listening since its a bar full of drunken bots but the fact is half of the bar is eavesdropping, esp after the events of the first human effect. some waiting for their names to be mentioned, some absolutely puzzled by their preferences, some fistpumping thinking they might have a chance (brainstorm HAHA)

u dont have to write anything if u dont want to!! love ur writting!! running away now!! have a good day slash night!!

Effects of Drinking

Word count:2.1k

Warnings: talking about sex, hookups, speculated workplace relationships.

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Human effects masterlist

I absolutely loved this idea and got to work on it the moment I read this. So enjoy another part of human effects.

___________________

The sound of Swerve is always loud with the mingling of bots and humans alike, the sound of laughter, crying and venting was a causal occurrence for the many drunk patrons that frequent the bar. But tonight It was bustling even more than it normally is. Swerve shakes his head in amusement as me brings a plate of drinks over for the human crew. Swerve whistled cheerily as he whisked through the busy bar, expertly weaving between crowds with overloaded trays of alcohol and snacks balanced expertly on his servos. The atmosphere pulsed with raucous revelry.

Setting down his latest platter of Human-sized drinks, he flashed the smaller patrons a dazzling smile. "Hope y'all're enjoyin' the party! What's the special occasion tonight, if I may ask?" His optics twinkled mischief. Leaning casually on the bar, taking care not to endanger any of the humans. Swerve propped his chin in his hands attentively. "Seems like a lively bunch are in to spill all the juicy deets. Come on, I'm all audials. what's worth celebrating tonight. 

Millian shoots Swerve a smile. "Oh it's gonna get messy tonight Swerve Taylor just had a break up" states which earns raised glasses from the other human crew mates. "To the shit show of a long distance relationship" Nadia calls out and she downs her first shot. "Fucking hell your an alcoholic" the Liason states to the rest of their the crew as they shoot Swerve another smile. "Thank you for the drinks, Swerve I'll try to keep this unruly lot under control, and hopefully Taylor and Nadia dont get to shit faced" they state to him. 

Swerve's optics gleamed with intrigue as the Crew shouted their toasts and explanations. "Oooooh, messy breakups and long-distance woes, huh? Been there, done that," he chuckled knowingly, a cheeky gleam in his optics. "Well hey, if Taylor needs a shoulder vents or an audial, you know where to find me," he offered with a friendly wink. "And as for the rest of you rowdy lot..." His vocalizer took on a playfully stern tone. "I expect nothin' but the finest conduct from representatives of our new friends on Cybertron. No pukin' in the vents, no startin' bar fights - at least, no winnin' any," he jested. 

Laughter fills the area as the two waves Swerve off back towards the bar. Nadia whistles softly as she watches Swerve walk off. "Careful now, don't let Taylor catch you drooling, she'll make you drink tequila with her" Millian teased softly, jostling Nadia's elbow with a grin. Her friend simply chuckled and took another sip of her drink, eyes still following Swerve's retreat fondly.

"Can you blame me? Those Mech's are something else," Nadia sighed, resting her chin on one hand dreamily. "Tall, strong... kind soul. If he was human, I'd be all over that bartender like rust on spoiled bolts." Millian shuddered as they pulled a face at Nadia. "Ugh, don't put images in my brain, thanks. I swear if I have to watch you flirt with another thousand-pound machine..." 

Nadia swatted at him playfully. "Oh hush, like you wouldn't ride Optimus Prime like a mechanical stallion given half the chance." It makes Kyle spit his own drink out as he laughs and chokes at the same time. “Shut the fuck up Kyle!” Millian hisses. The group's Ambassador rolls Their eyes. “Behave you two, God forbid I have to get Garry to drag you both back to your rooms later” they state with a smoke of Their head.  

Taylor begins pouring herself tequila shot after tequila which gets her a look from the others realising just how hard she was taking the breakup. As Taylor's shots began piling up at an alarming rate, concerned murmurs arose among the human crew. Millian shot Nadia a look across the table. "Woah there Tex, maybe ease up on the hard stuff for a bit, yeah?" They suggested gently, resting a hand on Taylor's wrist to still the next pour. 

 "Breakups suck shit, believe me - but that's what friends are for. No need giving yourself An alcohol coma!" Nadia nodded supportively. "Mil's right, T. We're here to help you forget that piece of shit, not drown yourself." She flashed Taylor a cajoling smirk. "And who knows, might find someone else worth your time out there. Wouldn't want to miss your chance at a rebound, all because you're too fucked to function!" 

The team's Ambassador shoots Taylor a look too Check on her. "We are here to try and make your night better without you drowning yourself Tay, plus I'm pretty sure Nadia is more interested in the 'eye candy' as she likes to put it" they tease back Which earns a snort from Kyle. “Yea seems ready to jump anything that looks her way” he states partly amused as he goes back to sipping his beer. Nervous laughter arose from the humans at their ambassador's gentle teasing of Nadia. She accepted it gracefully, raising her glass in cheerful concession. 

"You got me there, boss. What can I say - alien ships, alien bars, alien hotties. A girl's gotta have her fun!" Taylor managed a half-smile at her friend's antics, tension easing slightly as others diverted focus her way. "Thanks, everyone. I know you're just looking out for me. It's been a rough week… plus this on top of it" Her gaze softened gratefully. 

Nadia leans in to Taylor with a smile that could only spell touch. And both Kyle and the Ambassador know what's about to come out of her mouth. "Sooo.. who wants to play smash or pass?" Kyle and another one of the mechanics shoot her a look as if to go ‘really?’. 

In the background curious optics watch the rowdy group of humans, some ears dropping in on the conversation others only shooting looks over when one of them gets over vocal. 

"Ooh, I love this game!" Millian crowed, bouncing mischievously in his seat. "Lay it on us, Nads - who's first on the bot buffet?" 

Skids’ optics go wide from his own seat as he turns around to watch the commotion over at the other table, partially intrigued after the last late night bar conversation with some of the other mechs, he gives Hound a slight nudge as if to get him to look over at the other Table. 

Their ambassador sighed fondly. "As your head officer, I should discourage such fraternisation... but as your friend, please try not to get yourselves into trouble God forbid I have to do the sign off overbone of you trying to get cosy with the crew." Nadia cackled, unrepentantly salacious. "Hey, no kink shame in my smash or pass!”

They go around the table multiple times asking each person a bot to smash or pass little to their knowledge or drunken state had they realised quite a few of the bots listening in on their conversation.  "You lot are a bunch of menaces, I swear if I have to drag you out of the bed of one of these good mechs because you got to grabby I'm not going to be happy" they state in a playful tease as they begin drinking their own drink.

The humans cackled irreverently at their ambassador's mock threats. "Aw, don't be like that boss!" crowded Millian. "We're just havin' a little fun gettin' to know the local talent. No harm in window shoppin', right?"

"Speak for yourself," Nadia shot back with a wink. "Some of us plan to do more than just look. A girl's on a schedule, after all - and these mechs are some mighty fine cuts of steel!" 

Ratchet shoots the group A rather disapproving look knowing if anything happened he'd have to deal with the fallout. The ambassador shoots him a look with a shake of their head while sipping their drink. They knew their group weren't exactly being subtle about it. 

Kyle groaned and hid his face, though the tips of his ears still burned hot. Even Taylor was gradually relaxing into laughter again. Catching their ambassador's imploring gaze, Taylor smiled ruefully. "Don't worry boss - I'll make sure this lot don't embarrass us too badly, we don't want a redo of what happened with Kyle and David. And if anyone does end up, er, occupied for the night... Well, I'm sure security footage could be omitted from our reports. For diplomatic purposes."

“Oh my God, one time, I go to see Kyle one fuckin time” David huffs in embrassment while pressing his face into his hands. It's Millian who realises who the ambassador's eyes are lingering On before they make a sly comment about it. “Ohhh got eyes on the old medic?” They tease before Nadia speaks up. “Mmmm bet he'd have a lot of experience, bet he'd be real nice in bed” she purrs while her eyes dance across his plating. 

One of the Bluestreak begins choking on his drink of high grade earning him a laugh from a smokescreen who slaps him on the back. He curses as he tries to make it seem that he wasn't ears dropping on the conversation. Nadia's keen eyes noticed the bot choking on high grade at the adjacent table.  

She grinned, nudging her friends eagerly. "Hey, I think we've got an audience! That mech over there started glitching when talk turned to after-hours bump and grind."

Heads swivelled covertly, giggling and pointing out the bot now sporting a rather flustered frame as his companion gleefully slapped his plating while laughing at him. 

"My, seems our alien friends find human proclivities just as intriguing as we do theirs," Kyle noted dryly. 

Millian snickered into their drink. "Bet they've never met a crew so eager to sample the merchandise firsthand." 

Nadia stretched lavishly. "What can I say - we aim to broaden cultural exchange through... hands-on cooperation." Her grin turned downright feline.

“Not that type of hands on cooperation Nadia, but I do appreciate the enthusiasm of building decent relations with our crew” The Ambassador states as their comm link goes off with an incoming call, they sigh when they read the message that pings through. ‘Needed on command deck due to an incident involving Rodimus and Daniel’. The Ambassador sighs before getting up. "I've got head, got another Accident report I've got to go process due to our captain's Asteroid surfing again" they state while moving from the table, their attentions were diverted as their ambassador rose from the table with a resigned sigh. 

"Duty calls, it seems. You lot try and stay out of trouble while I'm gone, please? I'd hate to have to bail any of you out of the brig for 'cultural exchange' gone too far." They fixed Nadia with an arched brow ridge before departing with a chuckle. 

"Tch, spoilsport," Nadia huffed affectionately. "Care to place bets on how long it takes our ambassador to get sick of Roddy's scrap and maroon him for good?" Kyle scoffs as he takes a drink. "With the amount of times the Ambassador gets called away you'd think it's a cover up story" he states as the alcohol begins going to his head. David Shakes his head as leans against Kyle. 

Nadia's eyes gleamed deviously at Kyle's insinuation, while Millian and Taylor look at him with a shocked look. “No… you don't think..?” Taylor starts 

 "Oooh, sneaky! You may be onto something there, flyboy." Nadia tapped her chin thoughtfully. 

"Let's think - who've they been spending an awful lot of 'alone time' with lately..." 

"Rodimus is always dragging them to the bridge for 'meetings'," offered Millian with wiggle-voiced air quotes. 

Taylor giggled behind her hand. "I've seen Drift approach them in the halls an unusual number of times..." 

"Megatron's been having private strategy sessions, he says," mused Kyle slyly. 

Their giggling swelled into raucous laughter and speculation at the myriad possibilities. It's only when Swerve makes his way back over to ask if anyone else wants new drinks that the drunken lot of humans continue to giggle, laugh and speculate. 

Swerve's audials perked as he drew near the boisterous human table, curiosity piqued by their spirited discussion, he leaned in eagerly. 

"Oho, sounds like you cheeky fleshies are having all the fun over here! Care to let ol' Swerve in on the gossip?" He flashed a playfully pleading grin. "A bot's gotta live vicariously through someone, after all."

"Trust us, handsome, you don't wanna know," Nadia snickered salaciously, tossing back her last shot. David  smiles, swirling his drink. "We were just speculating on who might be keeping our dear ambassador... occupied during their frequent 'calls'." He made air quotes with his free hand. 

"Oooh!" Swerve's optics flashed with glee as implications dawned. He lowered his vocalizer conspiratorially. "Do tell! I love a good intra-ship romance." Quite a few bots seem to lean in and listen in hope that it might be their name that people speculated. 

___________

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@ladyofnegativity

@desertrosesmetaldune

@stellasfallow

@coffee-or-hot-cocoa

@shinseiokami

@tea-loving-frog

@aquaioart

@daniel-meyer-03

[exyrpf]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[h4venpha]

i think i find comfort in vashwood because of their unwillingness to say outloud how they care and love for one another. like CANONLY, theres so, so much they dont say, yet their actions reflect everything.

i’m pretty sure i’ve spoke on this before but i like to think that they never say more than they need to because of the world they live in, the type of people they are, the type of upbringings theyve had. it all stems back to them not really feeling worthy of the love they are offered.

wolfwood who only thinks of himself as some fucked up modified killing machine and that he believes theres no chance someone as kind hearted as vash would see the good in him, or what little there is left of the good in him. he’s done nothing but kill, he could never redeem himself, and yet vash isn’t scared nor shuns him for it even with his pacifistic ideals.

vash who has seen the brutal truth of wolfwood’s being and still decides he loves him to the very end.

vash who doesnt believe he deserves any ounce of love or commitment because he only hurts those he gets close to. it’s happened before and itll happen again, like hes a walking time bomb and everything will blow up again and the people close to him will die no matter what he does. and wolfwood who canonly sticks beside him until the end! literally calls himself his guide.

vash who has never had true companionship in his 150 years of living, and wolfwood who follows him to the ends of gunsmoke.

just up until vol10, theyre still toeing the line of the relationship theyve created. but the exact moment vash shows up and chooses to prioritize wolfwood over going after knives (the fucking thing he’s been working towards since the big fall, over a hundred years ago) is the moment he steps past that line. its so extremely open and explicit, even wolfwood asks him ‘why are you here?”

while what he says here is true yes, it also sounds like “you cannot die, i’m here to ‘save’ you because i want to live.”

then to this when wolfwood knows and accepts he will die— the sheer HORROR on vash’s face when he realizes wolfwood wont allow him to save him.

few pages ahead, vash’s monologue starts and these old panels come up. “deep down, he had become very close to me.” basically implying that back then, during the ‘shoot’ moment, they weren’t really close. and when vash accused him: “you’re the coward here.”, “you give up all hope so easily”, it was almost surface level in a way? talking to him at surface level

but now, so many chapters later when wolfwood really does give up hope, vash, with all of his developed love through out the story realizes how differently he feels now. wolfwood made him put a fucking gun to his head (giving up hope), and vash who only scolded and accused him, vs vol10 where when wolfwood gives up hope, vash feels straight terror, that he’s really going to lose him. (also the inverted panel is just so gorgeous.)

the whole “isnt that right, wolfwood?” just proves my entire point that vash’s presence here in this fight steps over the line of vulnerability they had created. he knows how he feels, and he knows that wolfwood feels the same, even if hes speaking to him indirectly.