#because theyre such a good fucking show live
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I found the set list for the Smith Street Band set im going to see next month and holy FUCK im so excited
Like at first I thought it would just be their new album since its the Life After Football tour (which would be. Eh. Like don't get me wrong there's some really good songs on there but I don't love all of them yk) but it isn't!!
Like god. Just those first four songs (Do Nothing Forever, Birthdays AND I Still Dream About You??) Holy FUCK - and Change My Name is a pretty damn good song from the new album (AND June Egbert song hell yeah)
Shine and Surrender back to back is so fucking good, and those last three?? Ik they're basically legally required to play Passiona and Death To The Lads but god im so hyped, and the Alanis Morissette Like A Version should be fucking incredible
God. Big Smoke live should be fucking *incredible* holy fuck - AND I Can't Feel My Face it's so fucking good
Also the only songs I haven't heard on here before now are Arrogance of a Drunk Pedestrian, Don't Fuck With Our Dreams and Chips N Gravy and god DAMN do they fuck so hard - im pretty sure some of them have a Wombat State Forest and/or Strings Attatched cover so god damn am I excited to finally be able to listen to those (I've been trying to listen to the songs I didn't know before now (aka anything outside of More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Me/ Don't Waste Your Anger/Life After Football and the other random singles I know) but it's good having the concert to push me into listening to them lmao)
#i am ridiculously hyped to see i still dream about you live again god#i just. AGH#i cant fucking wait!!! and like fuck even if they were only doing life after football id still go#because theyre such a good fucking show live#and also tickets were like 50 aud? so not bad at all#and realistically theres two or three songs i fucking love from that album and the rest i at worst i think sre kinda middling#so it would absolutely be worth it#can you tell im excited holy fuck#i just!!!! hell fucki g YES#me.txt#smith street posting
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else
#like were in the middle of urinetown auditions#and this guy is auditioning for barrell#and i am too#and now i dont particularly care#like none of this is to say that his or anyone else's performance is bad or lesser than#but barrell is gay and like you can tell watching this kid perform that that fact is at the forefront of his mind#we were talking abt it later and he was like “yeah your barrell was like really snarky” and im like YEAH bro he kills ppl for a living#like hes not walking around constantly thinking about how hes gay#no gay person walks around fronting the fact that theyre gay#like i dont go to the mall thinking 'i am gay and going to the mall' dude no i just go to the fucking mall#i have a love hate relationship with cis/het performers who play queer characters because you could pull it off???#but youre lacking the subtleties#youre lacking the timing of when these things actually come into play#and again i really do hope this dude the best like honest to god if he gets the part thats great and i know he'll get there like i am#not the one directing this show and i trust the director completely#and im just using that as an example#but you see it in other things too#you can see it in good omens 2 and the danish girl and call me by your name#now compare it to something like cabaret and alan cummings portrayal of emcee#and you can tell theres a level of understanding there thats lacking in the other ones. our flag means death is also another really good#example. while rhys darby and taika waititi arent gay david jenkins is and it comes across in his writing that this is someone who#understands the queer experience and writes in a way that makes it possible for cis/het performers to understand what theyre playing with#turnip rants#delete later probably#all opinions and statements are my own we can coexist
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no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.
i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.
but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!
#shut up pandora#check off my 'monthly rant about the treatment of the creators of steven universe and she ra'#this is because of the 'praise' ive been seeing for belos btw#yes i love his panache i love how much he fucks up everything and i love how hes beyond redemption#thats not because he was Born Evil and has always Been Evil???#ppl who show baby belos going out of his way to make calebs life a living hell and evelyn Rescuing this poor blond boy from his Evil Brothe#i am sending so many bad vibes at you rn#he isnt a good villain bc dana terrace decided to be 'subversive' by not redeeming belos#JUST being subversive while writing the story doesnt mean you make a good story being subversive =/= being good#hes a good villain because while his decisions are dogshit we can understand why he made them on an emotional level#and since gravity falls seems to be the golden standard for modern cartoons i guess#bill cipher also isnt a good villain bc hes evil and they killed him#bill is a good villain bc hes entertaining in the threat he poses#what makes a character a good villain is about stuff they do while theyre being a villain#dont just sum it up with 'duhhh they killed them at the end so its good' thats entirely dependent on the story!#anyway this is specifically about modern western cartoon fandoms#if youre telling me to watch shows that arent modern western cartoons or like. read a book then know that i do that already#this stuff isnt as big of a discourse topic in those circles but im talking about this specific circle rn
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streamed the manaphy movie and the hoenn ranger anime specials and god. i miss when team rocket was funny. i miss battle frontier
#tbh. sorta wanna go back and just rewatch battle frontier bc i loved that season a lot#its got a ton of nostalgia picks for me and its just a super charming era of the show and the writings really good bc of the tight pacing#its got some of my favorite episodes of the show tbh#the deoxys ranger special is one of my favorite specials. it probably made me love deoxys more than the deoxys movie did#i love how its close in canon to the movie and that the conflict is largely because deoxys didnt have a companion#when in the movie the conflict was the deoxys trying to reunite with its other deoxys friend after the crash#i love the stuff about its trauma from space and i love its shitty male living space pocket dimension and how childlike it is#despite being a really intimidating pokemon#going back its hard not to see the ranger specials in hoenn as one giant commerical but theyre still utterly charming#also this episode is prime bait for my ''max is an unawakened psychic'' headcanon COME ON does anyone else hear me on that#thats three psychic pokemon hes become mentally bonded to now!!!#omg and the coordinator stuff in this season is so good and the pokemon centric episodes are good and the frontier brain battles are neat#its like they knew they didnt have time for annoying obligatory filler so they made what they had count#... i do understand why sinnoh didnt do this bc they wanted to end the series on ash vs paul. which makes sense#i would too#but tbh......... they reallyyyyy could have put in a battle frontier arc there between volkner (have him appear earlier) and the league#they didnt have to put it in johto like ag did with kanto if they were worried about breaking up the pacing#i mean they didnt do fuck else with that batch of episodes#echoed voice#anyways jessie tells james to get meowth out of deoxy's shitty male living space and hes like ''WITH A SPOON???''#and that actually made me laugh out loud on call. wtf. what do you mean these characters are funny and engaging.
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actually i think one of the things in outsiders that really fucked me up was one of owen's turns of phrase
when magic tricks him and goes into the maze alone, only surviving because he figures out what happened quick enough to follow & rescue her, he tells her that he's never going to stop coming after her (to make sure she's safe, to protect her)
and then after owen's gotten his memories back, he tells apo that he's never going to stop coming after him (to hunt him down, to kill him)
#i am never going to be normal about phrases being repeated with a different meaning#and i think this one especially fucks me up because it really hammers home the difference between owen at his core#(wanting to keep people safe. living to protect. loving his friends so so much hed do anything to keep them alive & happy)#and the person he became as a result of the trauma he experienced and the actions he took and life he led because if it#i think the real tragedy of this character lies in that we see who he couldve been!!! he was Good and he loved so much & tried so hard#but he lost his support system (mostly apo but also rasbi + graecie) and just. never quite learned to trust/rely on the others#because he believed what angel said- he can't show them weakness. theyre counting on him so he has to stay strong for them no matter what#i fully believe that if things had been different he could have overcome his past after remembering. if that support system had been built#i think he wouldve had a chance at least.#and thats the tragedy. he was so caught up in being their rock that they didnt know how to love him and he didnt know how to let them#after apo and angel he didnt let anyone in enough that they couldve changed his mind#so of course no one could save him. he would never have let them#anyway this smp fucked me up real bad. i think it did something to my brain pathways i think theyre realigned#pat.txt
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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Sidenote I was never her biggest fan but whenever I see someone talk abt dahlia hawthorne as if she's some evil seductress who breaks hearts for fun I feel the intense urge to hit them with hammers. Fucker can you read????
#waves my hand at The Fawles Business!!!!! hello???????????#pretty much every mention of fawles i see is (rightfully) condemning him#but often ppl dont connect that to dahlia as like. a character. theyre just like ew a creep good thing hes not relevant#happy and well 14yo girls dont frame their adult tutor who theyre 'in a relationship with' and send them to death row#and they certainly dont jump into a river KNOWN for tearing bodies to pieces in hopes of running away from home!!!#all the murders she attempts are motivated by a fear of her past being revealed!#valerie was going to tell fawles about her betrayal which would have set him out looking for revenge against her#fawles died to a suicide pact he initiated with her (again when she was FOURTEEN) rest in shit fucknuts#she poisoned diego because he was asking too many questions#and she accidentally killed doug while aiming for phoenix because he kept showing people evidence that indicted her#is she spiteful? YES! but not in a maneater way!#she HATES mia (and the rest of the feys by extension) for FINALLY CATCHING HER!#and THAT is what drives her participation in the hazakura plot!#like im not an apologist or whatevs. shes treats iris horrifically and she is very cruel when shes cornered#but the idea that shes some sort of praying mantis type is wildly inaccurate#the presence of romance only starts when shes groomed by a grown fucking man who makes a suicide pact with her#(and like u could say she was manipulating him or covering her bases and wouldnt have done it herself but THAT IS STILL CONCERNING!!)#and she lives a normal fucking life UNTIL valerie intervenes and makes her scared that that life is going to collapse!#anyway all this to say dahlia hawthorne get behind me
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River monsters mentioned for the river monsters mutuals
#From a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay#About a quarter of the way in and i like the writing so far and i like seeing a book that is trying to tackle how harmful exorcisms are#Especially when the actual issue is mental health as the narrators sister has schizophrenia and on top of all that theyre being covered by#A reality tv show which is why you keep seeing other shows like that mentioned#The only thing im wrestling with is the portrayal of schizophrenia considering neither i or the author have to deal with it and im not sure#As of right now if its really going to challenge the portrayal of schizophrenia in horror beyond hey its gonna get even more fucked up for#Someone if you bring religion into it#Like again the narrator is this girls sister not the actual person going through everything and of course its really scary for everyone it#Not a bad thing to have a narrator who is a scared child worried about her sister and not really understanding whats going on the problem i#How much of that perspective is used to make the other sister seem like this scary monster in their lives#Like i said im only a quarter of the way in im not sure how i feel now and how ill feel later but i really hope it does end up saying#Something new and interesting about the way we treat mental illness in horror especially because the premise is so SO good for that
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What if I wrote more of idol!wonwoo x producer!reader from the “no biting” universe? :o read tags for my idea ♥︎
#where svt (mostly jihoon) has been wanting to work with her and she has been wanting to work with them too (cause theyre great and also#cause she has a crush on wonwoo. not knowing wonwoo also developed a crush on the producer jihoon wont stop talking about. cause he gave#your music a listen and he was like ‘damn… this some good shit’ and understood why the other guys love your work but also became interested#in you bc youre pretty and talented and exude powerful energy duh! so he got immersed into watching your content. from mvs to interviews to#your little producing workshops where he became fond of the way your eyes glistened while talking aboit music. and then one day they have a#comeback and the company tells them that they got in contact with a huge foreign producer that been wanting to work with them so they are#like??? and they are told that the producer would arrive in a couple of hours while the recording interns get the studio ready to fir her#workflow. wonwoo notices the set up is similar to one you had shown in one of your ‘a day in the stufio’ vlogs but he brushed it off bc you#did mention it’s sort of the standard at your record label. so after a couple of hours they sll sit at the recording studio waiting for the#new dude they will work with. EXCEPT!!! its not a dude…#as soon as the door opens they are greeted with the woman they had only listened through their earphones and seen through the tv#they are all so starstruck and excited and start greeting you and hollering and asking questions… but wonwoo just sits back because#WHAT THE FUCK??? HOW ARE YOU THIS GORGEOUS IN PERSON??? he was in shock at how angelical and ethereal you actually were#he doesn’t snap out of it until he hears the most beautiful voice call out his name. you greet him shyly and he doesn’t miss how your hand#trembled when you shook his matching one… the obvious blush on your face masked behind the weather being hot/cold. but you dont show the#fact that you both felt a spark as your hands joined… then you all get to talking about how the album is gonna go and how you#want to give them absolute creative liberty as you are not there to lead but to work together with them. conversations flow until jeonghan#asks where youll be staying for the whole 3 months… to which you reply that you have been looking for a hotel/airbnb but they are all#unavailable bc of the season. so mingyu being the sweetheart and oblivious baby he is…. offers you the spare room in his and wonwoos house#to which the boys all agree and you decline (politely and shyly) at first bc living with wonwoo????? uhhh???#that would mean he would see you with your bed hair and you wete not allowing that!!! but then once wonwoo said it was okay bc they would#love the company (even tho his ass was sweating bc the prettiest girl in the world would be there everyday!!)#you agreed and so that’s how your love story starts (or well… your friendship that then will bloom into the relationship in ‘no biting’#TADA! SHOULD I??? IDK??? SHOULD I??#wonwoo smut#wonwoo fluff#can yall tell what my career is? LMAO#manifestation bish ♥︎
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I'll spare my usual "I liked them before they became famous" hipster music rant about the alt-indie bands I come across but my god boygenius' newest album fucks so hard I wish I still had my car just to be able to drive around screaming the lyrics to Not Strong Enough.
#late night ramblings#im annoyed that all the bands/solo acts i like get popular because i can never get tickets (at a reasonable price) to their tours anymore#its happening with transviolet too now and theyre so fucking good live#the japanese house as well although shes more popular in the uk than the us but its im convinced its just a matter of time#im happy for them being successful and getting their music out to wider crowds but i miss the small club shows with three encores for $20#i miss being recongized if they come back to the same cities multiple times over the course of a few years#now it seems like if i want to go see any band its a minimum $75 outing usually more and the crowds haslve somehow gotten worse?#as in both numbers and quality. i used to be able to just vibe with whoever i was next too and we would bond for the night#then never see each other again but that was fine. now no one wants to even talk to anyone outside their group (unless theyre being a creep)#and venues are either stadium sized or way too small now. theres no in-between anymore#probably due to covid stuff but its disappointing#i dont even get super into the music scenes either i cant imagine what live music heads have been going through
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Lawl filming a dude who always wears a mask without it on and trying to spin him as the disrespectful one.
#listen its great if you meet someone in an airport and have a good experience#but buying a ticket and watching their shit on tv does mean they owe you their personal lives#and that shit is and always had been rude as hell 90% of the time#or calling up their fucking hotels and shit... stop#theyre tired as fuck and just wanna get home stop invading their privacy#go to a fucking signing or stand out back behind the show and hope for the best#dont fucking stalk them and shove a marker in their face bc youre under the weird impression#youre the one putting food on their table#people get so mad when they realize people are real people with boundaries#like imagine working custserv all day and then someone following you home demanding you get them something from the back#because they know you work there and they shop there so THEY PAY YOUR BILLS!!!!!#but they're entertainers! its different! no! its not! theyre under contract they do whats in their contract you watch it YOU GO HOME#and THEY GO HOME for 6-10 whole hours to spend with fam/sleep/eat before having to leave again#let them go decompress so they can come back and best adequately entertain you#instead of just getting 10x more burnt out than they already are in some fucking city they don't even remember the name of
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feeling feelings about my family again
#like im so glad that my cousins are comfortable around me and im so upset that thats seen as some huge accomplishment#or a sign that i should have my own kids#because im literally just showing interest in their lives and hobbies and not judging them for any of it#but like my grandparents and aunts and uncles have gotten so comfortable with teasing kids for any way theyre unusual#and they either dont know or dont care that thats gonna fuck with a kids self esteem#i just. these kids deserve so much better#the family is shit and all of the adult cousins are well aware of that and how its fucked us all up#and i just want things to be better than that for the younger ones who are still figuring themselves out#despite what my grandma says its not about how i would be a good parent or whatever#im just trying to connect with these people and be someone they can feel comfortable around#and none of the aunts and uncles bother to do that so it seems like some big accomplishment when its really not
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can you imagine being simon petrikov. the love of your life sacrificed herself to cure you from a cursed crown that trapped you in your own head for like a thousand years. you are the last living remnant of a time long gone. you dont know how to live without your fiance so you keep trying to summon her through increasingly morally grey acts. you want to die so fucking bad. god put a whole universe in your brain as a little treat for himself. a little girl keeps coming to your museum house to tell you she wants you to go back to being in fucked up. you are keeping an evil goose in a cage in your house and it mocks you. your daughter doesnt really need you as much as you need her and she has her own life now. the only way you can make a living is by capitalizing on the horror of your own displacement. while trying to summon your wife, a cat came out of the back of your head and proceeded to destroy your house and your shrine to your wife. you had to resuscitate the shitty evil goose to try to summon your wife again. This time a whole human woman came out of the back of your head. you really want to believe that she is just a manifestation of your prior madness. the goose is fully dead now and you have no more options in the way of getting your wife back. you go dissociate in the shower. god summons you in the nude to his fucked up room in front of the manifestations of your madness, now on-model to how theyre supposed to look. and then he shows you your final moments with your beloved fiance. and everyone is like wow simon you suck now. youre so lame now why are you so sad and stupid and lame. and theyre like dude just like get over it go do something else lol. you try to give up and god puts you on a fucking conveyor belt and tells you to perform the same ritual that youve been trying to use to get your wife back this whole time so you can put his favorite little guys back in your brain. their whole world is shitty because youre a normal guy now and they both want their world to be better and magical. heres a really good option for you: go back to being the fucked up guy that everyone wishes you were and essentially fade from existence while that guy takes your place everyone wins but you youre basically killing yourself and relapsing in one move. who gives a shit. might as well. youve got nothing to live for anymore anyways.
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Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫
But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!
Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.
Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.
Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵
......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈
poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)
Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.
Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.
But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.
His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.
Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.
If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.
But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.
One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting.
He did not wish to be known, thank you very much.
And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.
He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.
So yeah, Sirius was pissed.
And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much. And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness.
Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.
Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?
Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place.
And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater.
And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.
But Sirius did know better.
“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.
Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”
“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.
“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.
“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”
“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”
Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”
“Hi Reggie!”
“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind.
“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.
Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.
Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.
It made Sirius sick.
“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else.
You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.
Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.
“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.
You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.
“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.
“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously.
Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.
“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple.
“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed.
“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.
“What?” Sirius squawked.
“Be nice.” He chided.
“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer.
“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.
“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.
Sirius hated every single one of them.
But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today.
Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.
“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.
The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.
Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.
Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?
Except...you breezed right past him.
“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.
“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.
“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.
“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.
Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.
What the fuck was going on right now!?
“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.
You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you.
“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.
“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you.
You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”
His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.
“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”
Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.
“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”
You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.
“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest.
Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”
“No.” Sirius muttered.
“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”
And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...
Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.
Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...
Love.
A lot of love.
“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.
“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius.
“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.
“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.
“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided.
“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag.
“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.
Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.
Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...
Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.
And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible.
Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this.
“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.
Literally.
“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you.
“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.
Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.
“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor.
“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.
“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.
“Pads...”
“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.
“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”
The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”
“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.
“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”
Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”
“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.
“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.
Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.
“Remus.” Regulus warned.
Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.
“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”
“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary.
“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted.
“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.
don't hate me
#ask elle#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin#regulus black x reader#regulus black x you#regulus black#regulus black x remus lupin#remus lupin x regulus black#moonwater#poly!moonwater#poly!moonwater x you#poly!moonwater x reader#ellecdc fics
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Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:
1/?
👑 girlbossriko follow
how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing
👢exyinaphonebooth follow
how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them
👑 girlbossriko follow
????? do i know u
#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep
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💃fox-me-up follow
ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀
#psu lb #exy lb
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me
The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT
#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd
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☀️ usctrojanny
every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)
#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷♀️
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👸🏻 kevindazed follow
did he just......
👸🏻 kevindazed follow
guys please tell me i'm not insane
👸🏻 kevindazed follow
HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE
#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!
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🧚 goalie-stan
oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)
#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy
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🌄 softkevinday follow
do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death
#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this
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🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow
feeling normal
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📜 realexyblog
actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine
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🐋 sexyexy
'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it
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🏳️🌈 gay4stickball follow
is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player
#i don't believe that straight exy players exist
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🙈 ittybittyminny follow
Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
📖 sapphic-exy follow
he literally killed someone
🙈 ittybittyminny follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count
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🐦⬛ edgarallenexy
got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD
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🌸 softexy
Kevin Day - A Study
#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen
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#i'm not taking criticism bc i am on sportsblr and this is literally what it's like#all for the game#neil josten#kevin day#andrew minyard#renee walker#jeremy knox#jean moreau#aftg#the foxhole court#jerejean#kevneil#the web weave is the most accurate part of this post#exyblr#riko moriyama
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