#because they showed people being disgusted and frustrated at her being ace

[shubh-mangal-zyada-saavdhan]

Satyaprem ki Katha AU where they focused on Katha healing while Sattu decides to help support Katha by completing his law degree and helping her build a case against Tapan, representing Katha in court as her lawyer, and helping her get her deserved closure by putting the bastard in jail himself.

[jeankluv]

Snow on the beach || Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Words: 3.2K

Warnings: Doffy, swearing

Note: chapter 8 already, wow I’m so happy that people keep supporting this silly fic of mine. Thank you. And enjoy ❤️

If you want to be add to the tag list let me know on comments 🫶

Previous chapeter || Materialist || Next chapter

Chapter VIII: Three Brothers

Law looked at the three boys in front of him with tired eyes. He was supposed to leave 30 minutes ago but the most chaotic siblings of the whole town appeared at the last minute.

“Ah!” The youngest cried, making a pout.

“Don't be a cry baby Luffy!” The freckles one said.

“Sorry! But Ace, Torao it’s not being nice!” Luffy reproached.

“That’s what happens when you decide to get the sled when there was no snow, you wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be angry because I would have been in my house half an hour ago.”

“We are really sorry Dr. Trafalgar.” The blonde one spoke this time.

“Yeah sorry and please don’t mention any of this to Corazon.” Ace said.

“Why?”

“Because then he will tell Sengoku and Sengoku will tell our grandpa and… we don’t want to face him, he is terrifying.” Ace explained.

Law nodded. “I won’t tell anyone.” The three boys sighed in relief. “But you better not show up here at this hour ever again.”

“Don’t worry Dr. Trafalgar, it won’t happen.” Sabo said.

“Okay now, you can leave.”

“Thank you Torao!” Luffy smiled. “And by the way, can you tell y/n hi from me? I couldn’t visit her this weekend.” Law nodded and the boy left the room with a big smile.

Law stretched out in his seat and put away all his things, he was running late, surely you would have been home for a while by now. He left his office, waving goodbye to the few people that were left, he got in his car and started going back home.

He felt frustrated, he really wanted to take you home that night, and give you a small gift he bought earlier that day for you. It was a stupid gift and you probably could wait but he really wanted to see you and enjoy your company, even if it was for a few minutes. You made him feel like a completely different person and at first, when you tried to enter his life with that big smile and big dove eyes he hated it, he couldn’t understand why Corazon liked you so much. He thought you were just one of those city girls that wanted to experience living in an isolated town, take pictures of it, post them in social media and leave after three days, but you turned out to be different.

He exhaled in frustration, he had arrived home without realizing it. He turned off the engine and headed towards your house, you were probably still awake and he really wanted to see you. Law knocked on the door three times, but got no response, your lights were completely off and nothing could be heard inside the house. Maybe you were still in the restaurant? Something inside him told him that he should go to the restaurant quickly. He walked down the stairs to your porch and he got into the car, starting it quickly. That feeling in his chest area was there and it was making him nervous.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You were still hugging yourself and keeping yourself away from that man. You looked both sides trying to see if you could spot a familiar face but the streets were empty and the bus was running late.

“Sir.” You spoke. “I don’t the person you are looking for, now I would prefer for you…”

“Oh c’mon sweet y/n…” He smiled. You trembled, you had not told him your name at any time. “I know you know him. Don’t play games with me.”

“I’m not playing games with you sir.” You tried to breathe but you felt like you were running out of it.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I won’t hurt you or anything.” The nickname made you want to throw up.

“But… will you hurt Law?”

“Hmn… only if he doesn’t do what I told him.”

“You’re absolutely disgusting, once the police find out about…” You spotted talking when he put his hand on your mouth.

“I told you I was not going to hurt you but sweetheart if you disrespect me or even turn me to the police, I won’t hesitate. Besides, I know you have a little sister, don’t you?” You swallowed under his hand, feeling how your eyes were getting teary. How did he know? You only mentioned having a sister to Nami and Law and you knew that none of them would ever tell this man. “So now you get it sweetheart?” You nodded and he let your mouth free, with that you spent a few steps away from him and tried to calm yourself.

“Oi y/n!” You heard a voice, a voice you were familiar with and a voice you were glad to hear.

You turned around to see the happiest boy in the world running in your direction, followed by two boys you didn't know about. You let out all the air that had been building up in your lungs for minutes, and smiled.

“Y/n!” He hugged you when he reached you. “What are you doing here? The restaurant was closed already.”

“I was waiting for the bus to go home.”

“Oh!” He nodded. “I see…” You glanced to your side, to see if the boss was still there, and yeah he was, not moving an inch, you hoped that with the presence of Luffy and his two friends, he would leave. “Do you know my brothers y/n?”

You tilted your head. “Brothers? I didn’t know you had.”

“Yep.” He smiled. “This is Ace.” He pointed at the black haired boy with freckles. “And this one is Sabo.” He pointed at the blonde one. “Guys this is y/n!”

“Nice to meet you y/n, we have heard a lot from you.” Sabo spoke.

“Oh for real?” You were surprised.

“Yeah Luffy talks a lot. You probably already noticed that.” Ace spoke this time and you smiled. Ace then put his eyes on the boss and he nudged Sabo a little so he would look at him too.

“Excuse me sir.” Sabo spoke and walked a few steps closer to the boss. “Are you looking for someone or something here?”

“Was he bothering you y/n?” Ace whispered to you.

You wanted to nod but you were afraid that man could hurt them, if you said anything.

“Y/n you can trust us, don’t worry.” It was Luffy this time.

“It’s okay guys. I was just waiting for my bus and this man appeared here. But nothing to worry about.” You lied, with a fake smile on your face.

“If the lady feels uncomfortable, I will leave.” The boss spoke. “Have a good night, hopefully we can meet in another circumstance.” Hopefully not. He started to walk away.

“You sure everything was alright y/n?” Sabo approached. You nodded again assuaging them everything was okay, although it was not true. “We can talk with the police if you want.”

“If you meet him and he bothers you, don’t hesitate to tell us. We will kick his ass.” Luffy said with a determined look on his face.

“Luffy, relax. Look what happened the last time you kicked someone’s ass.” Sabo sighed.

Luffy pouted. “But…” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, y/n is my friend and if that sunglassed guy bothers her I will send him flying.”

Ace rolled his eyes and smiled. “Y/n we will stay with you until the bus comes.”

“Oh there is no…”

“It wasn’t a question, we will stay.” Sabo said and sat down on the bus stop, followed by Ace and Luffy.

“Thank you.” You sat with them.

“So tell us y/n what were you doing before ending up here? It’s strange for us to get new people.” Ace asked.

“Mhm… well I just needed a peaceful place to stay. This was a good option.” You shook your head.

“It’s peaceful but sometimes it’s boring.” Luffy sighed.

“Getting bothered sometimes it’s good, Luffy. You started to pay attention to things you weren’t paying before.” You smiled. “I really liked it here, I mean I got the chance to meet you.” You looked at him.

“I’m also glad you came here.” He smiled and hugged you.

You smiled and hugged him back. “I didn’t know you had brothers.”

“Yep.” He smiled. “Ace, Sabo and I, we were raised together and became brothers.” You nodded.

“We were raised by Dadan, I don’t know if you have met her.” Ace explained and you shook your head. “It’s normal, she lives outside of the town and only comes from time to time.”

The three brothers explained to you how the three of them came from different backgrounds, how Sabo used to come every single weekend with his father and stepmother to spend the weekends at their house, but he would always sneak out to spend time with Ace first and then with Luffy too. Ace on the other hand, spent his whole life here, his mother died in childbirth and he didn’t know much about his father and honestly he didn’t care. As for Luffy, his grandfather raised him until he was four but then duty called and asked Dadan to look after him, his father apparently was someone important but Luffy couldn’t care less about it. The three of them bonded together and eventually they swore like brothers drinking sake.

You found heartwarming how they bonded with one another and how till this day, they are still together. Kelly was too young for you, she was still a baby, so that bond between you two was still not there. You hoped you could become someone who she could lean on, trust and watch as a role model. At least that’s what you used to want.

“Oh! Y/n!” Luffy took you back to reality. “Has Nami told you?”

“Told me? Was she supposed to?”

He nodded his head enthusiastically. “So every year, before Christmas we, the whole group, goes a few days . We stay in a cabin and enjoy the days on the frozen lake. This week we will be doing the same. Wanna c’mon?”

You thought for a moment, a mini vacation with your friends sounded amazing. “I would love to but the restaurant.”

“Don’t worry, Zeff usually closes the restaurant for a week before Christmas.” Ace said and Luffy nodded.

“Then yeah, sure.” You smiled and Luffy screamed in happiness. “Who is going?”

“Well… the group you already know, Sabo, will bring his girlfriend Koala and Ace will be bringing a friend of his, Yamato right?” Ace nodded. “You should ask Torao if he wants to come. Apparently you are the only one that is able to convince him or do this.” You laughed.

“I will try, but I can not promise anything.” You spot your bus coming. “Oh that’s my bus.” You stand up and the three boys did the same. “Thank you again for what you did.”

“There is no need y/n.” Sabo said.

“Yeah, don’t worry, you’re our little brother's friend and now you’re ours too, so we will always help you.” Ace said with a smile on his face.

“Yeah y/n you can count on us!” Luffy said.

“Thank you guys. I really appreciate it.” You hugged each of them. “I hope we see each other soon.”

The three of them nodded in unison and you couldn't help but giggle. You got on the bus and sat by the window to say goodbye to them from there. The three of them waved goodbye to you and you did the same until you lost sight of them. You leaned your head against the glass, it was still going to take you a while to get home, unlike the trips with Law in his car, here it was going to take longer because of the stops he made.

Law.

You closed your eyes remembering what happened before the brothers showed up. Now you understand why Law wanted to push you away, why was he so terrified for you. The boss already knew about your sister, which means he probably also knew about your mom and David too. It made you shake with the thought of them getting hurt once again because of you. You wanted them to be safe and okay, but being away you couldn’t be there to protect them. Although you knew there was a way to protect them, even if you were kilometers away.

No.

No you didn’t want to think about that possibility, you simply didn’t want it. What type of coward would you be if after telling Law to rely on you, not to push you away, to let you help him, you started to push him away, you would do exactly that, push him away. Leave him alone. Leaving there was not an option either. You didn't want to continue running away and you didn't want to abandon the people you had met in this town. There had to be some option, one where you wouldn't put your family's lives in danger, where you wouldn't have to stay away from Law, and where you could help him get rid of that man.

“Lady?” You heard from the front of the bus. “Isn’t this your stop?” You looked around and it fact it was.

“Yes it is. Thank you and have a good night.” You said leaving the bus.

You walked towards your house, there was no car parked at Law's house. He missed you, maybe Law was still working, that's why he hadn't shown up to pick you up. You entered the house and quickly went to the bathroom, you needed to take a hot shower after today.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Zeff and Sanji had told him that you had left a while ago. From what she assumed you had gone to the bus stop, Law walked or rather ran to the bus stop, hoping to find you sitting there. But you weren't there and Law could feel his heart speed up instantly and he knew it wasn't because he just ran, but because of that strange feeling that had been present in his stomach since he hadn't found you home when he returned.

“Oh! Torao!” Law cursed under his breath, right now Luffy was the person he least wanted to see. “What are you doing here? Searching for y/n? She just left.”

Law turned his body to meet Luffy and his brothers. “Have you seen y/n?” The three brothers nodded in unison.

“Yeah, she just left. We made sure she got safely after that weird man was with her.” Sabo talked this time.

Law swallowed, those words from Sabo had left his mouth dry. "What man?"

“Don’t know man. He was weird, he was wearing glasses and…” Ace was explaining when Law cut him off.

“Glasses?” It was him, he was certain about it. “And you made sure she got on the bus safely? There was no one strange on the bus.”

“No, she was the only one on it. She probably already got home or she is about to.”

Law nodded and without saying a single word, he began walking back to his car. He didn't have time to talk to those three, he had to see you and make sure you were okay and that asshole Doflamingo hadn't done anything to you. Just like before in a blink he was already getting of the car and going straight to your front door. He knocked on the door but there was no response, Law's pulse accelerated by the moment, and if Doflamingo had followed you here and if you were in danger?

He bit the inside of his cheek, he knew that he shouldn't enter other people's houses but you weren't responding and knowing that Doflamingo had been with you minutes before, they left him no other alternative.

He knew that Mrs. Smith kept a key on top of the door frame; more than once when he was young, she had called him to get it after leaving the keys inside. He entered the house and started calling your name, it was dark and cold inside.

“Fuck y/n…” He whispered to himself, searching for you.

He went up the stairs with long strides, when.

“Ah!” You shouted in front of him. Law opened his eyes when he saw you, you were there in front of him and you seemed fine. Although there was also something else. “What are you doing here Law?!” You covered yourself. You were only wearing a towel, which barely covered you up to your thighs.

“I…” Law swallowed, he could feel his cheeks burning. This had never happened to him but he didn't expect to find it like this when he entered your house like that. Law turned to avoid looking at you. “I’m really sorry y/n, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You looked at his back and lowered your head, you would swear you had seen his blushing cheeks. “I am.” You said. “I was taking a shower.”

He nodded, still facing away from you. “Hmm, I'll be down. I need to talk with you."

“Alright… I’ll go change, I’ll be there in a minute.” And you walked towards your room passing by Law.

Law looked down when he saw you walking in front of him, damn he looked like a hormonal teenager at that moment. He quickly went down to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.

You leaned against the door of your bedroom, God, your heart was racing. And you didn't know if it was because of the scare that Law had given you, of her seeing you practically naked or because of the fact that she had appeared before you with the most worried expression you had ever seen. Law was back at your house, at night, and after realizing your feelings today, him being here didn't help in the slightest.

You took your pijama and changed to it, and made a braid on your wet hair. You looked at yourself in the mirror and inhaled. A question was running through your head and it was if Law was here because he had also met the boss.

You went down the stairs quietly and could see Law's figure sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. You walked up there and whispered a shy “hello.” Law turned to look and when he saw you there, he got up from the couch, standing in front of you. Making you have to lift your head to look him in the eyes. Law swallowed and licked his lips before speaking.

“You’re alright… You’re here.” He said almost like a whisper.

“Yeah, I’m here.” You smiled at him.

Law watched you for a few moments and then pulled you closer to him, hugging you. You were frozen in place. That action had caught you off guard. You could feel Law's heart beating rapidly in his chest, and it sped up even more when you wrapped your arms around him. Staying even closer to each other.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay y/n.” He whispered to your ear. “You have no idea.”

Tag list: @phsycochan @punem699

[simpotat]

Hi if I may just have a ramble about how ace Oc.tavia may view her dad's affair (ft. my ace experience)

Now I found out my orientation at sixteen. Up until then, though not consciously, I'd always had this sense of lacking in relating to the sexual innuendos and jokes on TV or in real life made by my classmates. My thoughts on the concept of celibacy could've been summed up by: "well, duh, it's not hard". Sex in my head existed mostly as a punchline. Some fictional characters were obsessed with it, sure, but I perceived sexual desire as just that: fiction. I didn't understand why people cheated, or why sometimes teens my age got pregnant, or why it was said to be difficult and especially prudish to wait until marriage. All that evaded me. I didn't have context for my non-experience, so I figured I was the normal one and in the right. It's only thanks to the internet and my ample opportunities to have educated myself that I now see why my perspective is different, and that's okay, and the fact that allos are horny and want each other is also okay.

Via doesn't seem to have friends, and her family situation is shit, so I imagine her retreating into the internet just as much; which suggests that she would know her sexuality by now, but I for one had known about asexuality for a few years before I realized I identified with it. And some people only do when they're well into young adulthood. This kind of self-realization can take a few years to brew, so for the sake of the argument let's suppose she doesn't know it yet.

From the perspective of sex being a punchline, something completely optional and hardly motivated by urgent desire, something you can just give up with ease like skipping the orange juice to go with your cereal in the morning... how much more heartbreaking for her would Sto.las' cheating and continued simping for Blitzo be. Because she just doesn't get it. She just doesn't get why this random imp has become so much more important to her father than herself that he's willing to wreck the family and continually ignore and neglect her for him. Because it's not that they like each other, whenever she's seen the imp he's grudging and spiteful at best, and her racist ass dad condescends him at every turn, they're not in love, that's not even why this is happening, and maybe if they were that'd be something she could forgive... with time, and if she ever saw her father making an effort. She knows it's about sex, unfortunately, because Sto.las is a disgusting piece of shit who dirty talks the imp in front of his own underaged daugther.

He's having sex with an imp he's become obsessed with and in her eyes it's torn her family apart. And it was a choice. Well, of course it was, but if she doesn't comprehend the sexual frustration that would have accumulated for him during years upon years in an unhappy marriage where they haven't touched each other since their daughter was conceived, and he's gay by the way, and he's a lonely loser with no friends and no one to show interest in him, and if she doesn't comprehend the attraction or desire that can urge allosexuals to such actions so burningly and then keep them hooked, then it was an especially frivolous and hollow choice in her eyes. He occupies himself with some weird red dickhead because he cares about her that little. Sex, this non-necessity, was more important to him than keeping her family intact and caring for her. She knows her parents hate each other, now at least if she didn't already, but he continues to be distracted when she needs him at a time like this... by something so completely trivial. (Or, well, maybe she just has a freak for a father.)

And she wouldn't be wrong for thinking any of this. Because no matter how tormented the horny owl is, he continues to hold responsibility for his daughter, and he's done spectacularly terribly at attending to that. Twice he's attempted, and twice he's been distracted by the weird red dickhead... and his only selfish reason for it she may not even get.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

So I rewatched TMNT 2012 cause my brain is fully committed to being obsessed with TMNT and here are my thoughts:

Thankfully it has knocked me out of my month-long writer's block but before I start writing headcanons again (for either series) I want to put my hot takes out there 

I don’t hate April 

Do I love her? Absolutely not

She’s annoying and impulsive and arrogant and selfish and she can be incredibly one-dimensional at times 

But so is the rest of the group

She’s not my favorite character but she’s not my least favorite either 

She’s just a teenage girl written by old men so it’s not surprising that a lot of people find her unrealistic 

I fucking hate Casey Jones/j 

I want to strangle him but I also want to hug him 

I want to punch him and sew little pockets into my clothes so I can take him with me everywhere 

He’s so stupid and my favorite character 

I like Donnie but I skip most scenes with him and April 

I chose to ignore the stalker plot-line 

In my mind, it’s nonexistent and adds nothing to the story 

I treat the whole Karai/Leo thing with the same energy 

Because why the fuck did the writers think that was a good idea 

Every single relationship was poorly written 

April is an aro/ace queen and I will accept no arguments 

They should have kept Karai and Leo’s relationship purely platonic 

I would have loved to see her become sort of a mentor to Leo but all we got was a disgusting love story that went nowhere and added nothing to the plot 

I think we should swap out every “my love interest is actually my sibling?!” plotline with a “my rival/enemy/mentor is actually my sibling?! Fuck yeah!” plotline 

Shini and Karai had the most chemistry and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were secretly dating 

I lowkey ship Casey with everyone except the girls 

But I mainly ship him with Donnie… Don't judge me I love enemies to lovers 

Leo is a trans woman, Donnie is nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns, and Mikey and Raph are gender-fluid (no I will not elaborate)

I’m fully convinced that every single person who claimed Raph Donnie and Leo were terrible brothers are only a children 

If I see one more person edit depicting Mikey as this helpless victim while the others are these evil abusers I will rip my hair out 

Are there moments when Leo/Donnie/Raph hit Mikey when it is unnecessary? Yes

Are there moments when they ignore him when he brings up a good point? Totally

Could I make a 30-minute compilation of the boys insulting Mikey’s intelligence? Absolutely 

But I can’t bring up all of that without mentioning the hundreds of times when Mikey is being an asshole

He’ll make fun of Donnie or tease Leo or mess with Raph 

Because that’s what siblings do!! (especially younger siblings)

They shove and they tussle and they poke fun

Some of my siblings show affection in a very similar way to Raph (they’re not great with words but they show their love with their actions) so when I see people write shit like “Raph is a terrible brother” it frustrates me to tears 

I have this memory that I will always cherish of my older step brothers and sister dragging me into a wresting match that ended with me at the bottom of a dog pile 

And I almost cried not because I was in pain but because it was something I had watched them do when I was younger and never participated in because it felt like a “sibling thing”

And they knew this and I knew they were telling me in their own way that no matter what anyone says I’m their little sibling 

Splinter is a fantastic master but a terrible father (no I will not take criticism on this take) 

I wanted to turn off my laptop every time Shredder came back 

Like don’t get me wrong I love a recurring villain as much as the next enby 

But he’s so one-dimensional that I tuned him out after season 3 

Now I will be rating all the seasons 

Season 1: 8/10 

In my personal opinion, it’s good 

Not outstanding but it’s a good foundation 

Season 2: 9/10 

I loved this season 

I honestly loved the whole conflict between April and the boys 

And it introduced my baby/rat bastard 

Season 3: ♾️/10 

My favorite season out of all of them 

I wish they stayed at the farmhouse 

Everyone seemed happier there 

‘Race with the Demon’ is my favorite episode 

‘In dreams’ is my second favorite 

Season 4: 7/10 

I fell in love with fugitoid 

Also, this might seems stupid but half of my enjoyment of this season could be credited to the voice actors 

And I also recognized a lot of them so it turned into a fun little game of where’s waldo 

I would be listening to an episode and go “doctor who?” “Godbrand??” “Andrias?!” “CASSANDRA JONES!!” 

I loved the fact that Karai and Shini were trying to build their own foot clan and make it honorable and I wish they talked about it more

I like Apri’s corruption arc but I feel like they completely swept Donnie’s death under the rug

Like they immediately forgave April even though they watched as she pulled Donnie apart molecule by molecule 

Season 5: 0/10 

Throw this dumpster fire away 

God I hated this season 

It felt so random

There was no rhyme or reason 

It just feels like they shoved half bakes ideas into a season and expected us to like it 

It made my viewing experience incredibly bittersweet

Cause I just watched season after season of amazing episodes to end it with this charcuterie board of half-baked ideas

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

[connieshusband]

Fucking hate you, love to fuck you

Hate sex

Oikawa x fem!reader

"fuck you!" "Is that a promise?"

4k

reader was the captain and ace of the girls team, reader goes to Aoba Josai, reader is also Kag's cousin

Degradation, Slight Feminization Kink, Praise Kink, Fluffy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at writing smut, I also got tired while writing so its short... sorry, Sir Kink: but very minor, no beta we die like men

-cross posted on my ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31932412

MINORS DNI

Summary:

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

___

Degration as well as any kink should have the full consent of all parties involved every time!!

I'm not very good at e2l so be gentle 🤩

I'm such a simp lmao

Oikawa could never figure out why you hated him when you both entered your first year of high school. Having come from a different middle school than you, he figured you'd be like the rest of the people in your grade level and fall all over him.

He wanted to ask why you had such a large stick up your ass during your first group project but chickened out. He assumed you'd at least get along as you were captain of the girls volleyball team and known for your powerful spikes. The setter in him really wanted to find out your perfect toss.

But it wasn't until your 3rd year when he came to despise you too.

He'd overheard you telling your best friend that your cousin made it onto his high schools volleyball team. Being the nosey Nelly that he is, he made the mistake of asking which school your cousin attended.

"Karasuno," you said, your chest puffed out.

It clicked: the black hair, intense expression, the last name even. He could practically see his protégé in the reflection of your eyes. He mentally slapped himself for not seeing it sooner.

His eyes narrowed, matching yours as tension of your silent beat down had to be cut by Iwazumi.

_____

You set down your suitcase, giving your aunt a big hug as she greeted you in the doorway. You give Tobio a fist bump as he helps you carry your things into the spare bedroom.

Your aunt had graciously allowed you to stay with her so you could be closer to school for your final year.

"I can't believe you're dropping volleyball club just as I'm about to join," Tobio whined, setting a suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room.

"I know," you said sullenly. You hadn't wanted to, but being captain and a 3rd year just wasn't going to be practical. Not being the best student, you thought it would be a wise decision.

Having always been close your your cousin on your dad's side came with its perks, including but not limited to drama. Ever since Tobio had joined volleyball in middle school he'd talked about Oikawa, usually brushing off some of the down right nasty things he'd said. But you hadn't. You took it upon yourself to help him train harder and harder to be able to defeat his bully when he'd found out he couldn't attend Aoba Josai with you.

Being an ace had its advantages when teaching Tobio about different techniques on how to set up a spiker best. Often gossiping about the smug bastard as you worked.

Of course, there was no escaping the pretty boy at school either. When your best friend, Ryu, had started dating his best friend Iwaizumi, being the 3rd and 4th wheel at hangouts became increasingly awkward.

And even worse when she mentioned your current math grade. Damn that ginger setter. And Mr. Perfect boasting about his grades to you. Which had lead you to your current situation.

Sitting in his bedroom.

Listening to him drawl on and on with rapidly decreasing interest.

While he looked hot as fuck.

What?!

With new found annoyance you scoffed at him snapping his fingers in your face.

"earth to y/n, I know I'm ravishing, but now it's math time." He said, a smirk decorating his lips.

“I ignored you on purpose, dumbass. Don't you get that I hate you?"

"I'm not asking you to stay, besides this has nothing to do with me?? Its calculus..."

"narcissist," you mumbled under your breath.

"must be your type," he shot back, "gawking at me for the last hour."

"aren't you dating whats-her-face from English?" You retorted, feeling your face heat up.

"yeah??" he said, confused.

You mocked his confusion, ""yeah" God, then stop flirting with me."

He scoffed, an eyebrow disappearing into bangs, "you must be a narcissist if you think I'm flirting with you because wow, it almost like I can't stand the sight of you, y/n," he rolled his eyes in disgust, sitting up in his chair indignantly.

You push him back into his chair, turning on your heels, saying nothing more.

"good!! I was going to kick you out anyway!"

____

You notice his current girlfriend wasn't hanging out with him at lunch nor sitting in his lap during English. In fact. He hadn't found new arm candy by the time your next session rolled around the following week.

___

After begrudgingly agreeing to do another tutoring session and making him promise no funny business, that rule was broken when he had his sleeves rolled up of his blue silk shirt, he glasses laying forgotten on the table, fingers rubbing his tired eyes as he tried to explain a difficult problem to you.

How could Tooru Oikawa be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dick at the same time?

Asking myself this a lot while writing

"fuck you, Oikawa! I don't need your bullshit!"

"fine! Fucking go then!" Giving you a light shove towards the door.

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

You shoved him against his bed, your own smugness drinking up his moan.

You pulled your tank top off as you climbed on top of him. "You have condoms?" You asked, cringing at your breathless voice.

He flipped your position, hot breath fanning your ear, "don't you want to be filled with my cum, baby?"

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the position again, "the last thing the world needs is more of you running around."

He considered it before saying with a shrug "top drawer."

Leaning over, your legs still gripping his hips, you pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it at his face. His nose scrunching cutely.

"pull some weight, lazykawa," you said, yanking his pants and underwear to his ankles. He was already fully hard and you took great satisfaction in wordlessly teasing him.

Trying to ignore you, a blush creeping up around his ears as he hurriedly rolling the condom onto his thick length, as you remove your bra. He flips your position once more, hovering over you, a taunting smirk plastered over his lips.

"can't go 10 minutes without getting your greedy pussy fucked?"

"Can't that mouth do anything besides half-assed insults, Shittykawa?" You mocked, he raised a cheeky eye brow at you.

He lowered his face to you heat, "want to find out?" You grip his hair harshly and shove his face between your thighs.

He rips off you panties and eagerly laps around your cunt before catching himself, slowing his ministrations.

He gripped your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. Alternating between sucking in your clit and finger fucking you, never letting you get both at the same time.

You bit your tongue, doing your best to avoid begging for more - a futile endeavor.

"C'mon babygirl, I know you want it," he sing-songed

You swallowed your pride, "please Tooru."

"sorry couldn't hear you, your legs were busy clamping around my ears.

Your legs shook in frustration and pleasure as he lazily drummed his finger on your sweet spot.

He leaned overtop of you, sucking harshly in your neck as his other hand massages your ass.

"please, Tooru! Please sir!"

"oo~" he remarks, returning between your legs, 3 fingers entering you suddenly as he nibbled along your thigh, quickly returning to sucking on your clit.

You come hard and without warning.

"delicious," he remarks, sitting up and licking his fingers clean, "and so many lewd noises too."

"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in people," you attempt to sound threatening but only succeeding in boosting his ego.

"Oh no~ I hate to find out what the best would be..." He unbuttons his blue silk shirt, allowing you to drink up the full show of his abs. "Not talking so big now, eh, Kageyama?"

You scowl at him before grunting a "just fuck me already".

"don't mind if I do."

You connected your lips with his, enjoying the noises he made as his neglected cock became engulfed in your warmth.

Neither of you lasted long.

He emptied himself into the rubber with a sexy grunt lining up with your moan.

After care he collapsed on top of you, his deep breaths matching yours.

Your hands still resting on his back, feeling scratches from your nails decorating his skin.

He had pressed his forehead to yours, you looked up to meet his eyes which were flitting between the purple marks on your neck and your eyes.

He hadn't held your gaze for more than a second when the realization of what just happened hit both of you at once. Pushing your bodies apart, you shamefully picked up your clothes from the floor leaving the room quickly.

____

It had been weeks since that day. You hadn't gone back for another tutoring session, claiming to Ryu that your grades had improved.

The free time had allowed you to be a better supporter for your cousin, getting a chance to meet his teammates and his friends.

You meet Karasuno's Ryu and think to yourself how well he and your Ryu would get along

While hanging out with your cousin at the spring tournament, you were enjoying a lunch break with a vibrant ginger, his best friend Hinata and a mutual friend with spiky hair. Bokuto, you had learned, was in your year and had a ton in common with you.

Maybe you'd gotten carried away returning his flirty looks and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. He remarked often how different your personality was from your cousin. After exchanging numbers to practice volleyball sometime (him being excited to practice with another captain/ace) an unfortunately familiar voice pulled you away from your fun.

"y/n?"

"what?" You roll your eyes, at Oikawa. You knew he had been watch you and the rest of Karasuno after they had win their first game. Beside you, you can feel the 3 boys, especially Tobio fuming.

"I have a question about the math assignment."

"I'm busy."

"too bad."

Recognizing that he wasn't going to go away until you give in, you stand up, brushing the dust from your bottoms. He leads the way out of sight from your new friends.

He harshly pushes you against the wall, "what do you think you're doing princess?"

You flip your position, he winced as his back connects with the concrete wall. "You ask you the same thing, princess."

His hand instinctively wrapped around your muscular arm submissively.

"you like that don't you?" You asked.

He nervously glanced around him for on lookers. Luckily he'd chosen a pretty secluded spot

"wouldn't want your fan girls to see you being treated like the pretty white you are?" You smirked.

He nodded shyly.

You grabbed his ass, earning a submissive squeak from him.

"such a good princess, getting his flat ass groped," you smile, you see him swallow a moan as his eyes flutter shut.

You begin painfully slowly palming him through his shorts, feeling him grow under you.

"I hope you lose," you whisper sensually into his ear.

He scowls at you as you pull away completely. Leaving him hard, exposed, and blushing as you return to your new friends.

______

The cheers from Karasuno's supporters hadn't quieted down as the team packed up. Still high on adrenaline and pride for your baby cousin, you took the time to use the bathroom before the long drive home.

Rounding the corner you heard voices, recognizing one to be Oikawa and the other belonging to a deep voiced man.

Sneaking a peak your eyes go wide. He was face to face with Ushiwaka. The former not fairing well in the conversation. You didn't think a man could look for upset than the way Oikawa looked right now.

As the conversation comes to a close, you wait until Oikawa has gone out if sight to chase after him. Accidentally running into Ushiwaka.

"sorry" you mumble, attempting to move past.

"you're with karasuno, yes?" Ushiwaka asks.

Your mind didn't really register him, instead giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a "that's great, buddy," as you run after the brunette.

Hearing an "I look forward to playing them." In the distance.

"Hey!"

He was too far ahead to really hear you, pushing past the front doors.

"HEY!" You yell, nearly at his heels. You stand in the doorway breathing hard, "TOORU!"

He turns to face you, Iwaizumi annoyed that he can't convince their captain to just get on the bus already.

You beckon him over and he skeptically approaches you.

"here to gloat?" He asks, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.

"Tobio is staying at Hinata's tonight and my aunt is out is town for the next two days," you say.

You see the cogs working as he pieces together what you're offering. His mouth forming an 'o' shape as he realizes.

You smile smugly before running back to where Karasuno's bus is parked, giving Tobio a running jump hug, which he awkwardly returned.

__

If nothing else, Oikawa was punctual. Arriving at exactly at 7:30. You hadn't done anything special, just heated up 2 frozen pizzas that your aunt had left. Watching his form as he quietly ate his 3 cheese. He hadn't said a word besides "thank you" after you'd served him. While yes, apart of you meant when you'd said that you hoped he lose but the guilt of seeing the cocky bastard looking so small on the other side of the table, nibbling on the crust. Pity maybe?

"You played really we-"

His eyes were red, his pride keeping him from crying in front of you. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You want to have sex?"

he hesitated before asking, "can we be nice?"

You nodded. Making your way to his chair, straddling his hips and cupping his face. You kissed him slow and deliberate. You don't kiss long before you start to feel his dick springing to life. You stand up pulling him, walking backwards, towards your room accidentally walking into the partially open door.

"Graceful," he commented, a hint of his salty tone under his words as he resumed kissing you.

You grinded against each other for a few moments, drinking in each others moans. You pulled away momentarily, his cheeks dusted pink, breathing heavy, his dick straining in his pants.

"You're so beautiful," you said. He blushed harder, his cock twitching in it's confines. Your fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and pull them down, licking your lips when his cock hits his stomach. You're about to press your lips to his tip when you feel pressure on your forehead.

"y-you don't have to..." he says. You cock your head to one side, your lips parted as you gaze up at him. "I-I get it you know... I don't hold it against you..."

"I want to," you say, "if you want me to."

He nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he enters your warm mouth.

Out of all the sex you'd had, this moment with Tooru didn't feel like sex. It felt like making love.

After he got close, you popped your mouth off and had ridden him. His muscles still sore from his games. Your lips danced with his as his hips met yours. Both of you reaching your climax simultaneously.

Tired in the best way, you cuddle up to his bare chest, kissing his cheek, "don't think this means I like you, flatass."

"of course," he says, relaxing into your touch.

"good."

"it was the fact that my dick was down your throat that made be think that."

You punch him in the ribs, earning an 'ouch' followed by a quiet, "let me have one win today." Followed by an even quieter "sorry" from you.

You place a gentle kiss on his cheek again before returning to your snuggle position. He wraps his arms around your waist as you both drift off to sleep.

______

It's been a number of days and neither if you had spoken about it. You wanted to text him a simple 'good morning' but the image of him quietly shuffling out of your room at the crack of dawn when he thought you were still sleeping, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You didn't want to seem too eager or somehow let on that not only were you awake but had enjoyed when he'd done it.

After the girls had lost to Fukurodani's girls in the semi finals, Ryu had insisted on dragging you out to play volleyball with her and some 'friends'. You secretly hope it's the other girls from your team. You find yourself not disappointed that it's Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

"Warm up 'Yama!" Oikawa yells at you, serving the ball in your direction as you and Ryu approach.

Caught off guard for a moment, you return the ball back at him, hitting his face lightly with an oof.

Of course, Ryu wanted to set for her boyfriend, leaving you with Oikawa.

You made a pretty good team, he picked up your style quickly, the ball exactly where you wanted it without having to tell him anything. Not to mention that Oikawa had racked up a third of the points on service aces alone, Iwaizumi finally adjusting to being on the receiving end on them. He and Ryu had made a magnificent comeback, clearly having practiced with each other before. You were lucky if you could get a piece of one of Iwa's spikes, Tooru faired better but they quickly took the lead. You grab Oikawa's arm, causing him to look at you curiously.

"set it to me, but I'll set it back. You spike it," you said, finishing your sentence by looking at him.

He considers it.

"break it up love birds!" Iwa shouted at you. Ryu making obnoxious kissing noises behind him. You quickly let go of his arm to flip her off, causing her to burst out laughing.

Iwa serves.

"it's mine!" Tooru yells. Mid jump, he faces you, the subtlest of winks as the ball flies into the air.

Smiling, you angle your body for a spike, Ryu taking the bait, but at the last moment, your hand sent the ball perpendicular to the net, straight into Oikawa's hand. The ball whizzing past Iwa's ear.

The adrenaline getting the better of you as you both embrace, celebrating a successful kill.

You revel in you best friend and her stoic boyfriend exchanging a bewildered look.

At the end of the game Oikawa offers to drive you home, when out of the way of prying eyes, he leans against his car. "Before your cousin goes to nationals, he and shorty should play against us."

"Yeah and maybe Tobio can set for me one round," you say, playing with the hem of his shirt, "but if there's any funny business from you, I'm calling it off."

"Who, me??" he jokes, aware of his history with your family.

You don't respond, opting to gently press your lips to his. He returns the kiss, cupping your face.

________________

Did I write myself into the story? ┐( ∵ )┌ Maybe a little...

I'm also not opposed to doing a part two, so lemme know in the comments ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Also not me writing my first Haikyuu fic be Oikawa when I wanna break his knees 🥴🤚 (couldn't resist tho he's been on my mind, especially with glasses 🥵🤒)

Also also not me writing this from 1:30 am to 8am then had half my work deleted so I had to redo it the following night 🤪👈

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[julemmaes]

Honey - part three

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: famous last words: I can finish this is in two hours. six hours laters and I feel like I’ve been beaten up by a gang of bigass old faes if you know what I mean.

IT CONTAINS SMUT, not suited for readers under 18

Please be kind I fucking hate my smut, if it’s disgusting just don’t comment on it cause I could hit my head on the wall several times

masterlist

Word count: 7,519

Aelin's scream was like a stab to the brain, "Get up you nasty little bitch!"

"Ace! Why don't you try with sweet Ellie?" retorted Lysandra.

Elide didn't even have the strength to open her eyes or move from the fetal position she was in, curled up with a pillow pushed so hard against her belly that she wouldn't have been surprised if it had somehow damaged her internal organs, "Please leave."

The two didn't seem to hear her.

"Sweet?" Aelin huffed, "But you did see her last night, right?"

Elide opened one eye, seeing that they had both sat down at the end of the bed. She felt the cracks tugging at her eyelid and grunted, pressing her face into the pillow. She wanted to die. And she wanted Manon to come and free her from those two supposed friends who she knew were about to remind her of her misadventures.

"Except for what happened before we left," Aelin winked, placing a hand on her foot. Elide withdrew it, not wanting to feel physical touch of any kind at that moment. "I would have been willing to break up with Rowan so I could get between Kyllian and you, honestly."

Elide grunted again, her voice muffled by the pillow. "I'm begging you girls, you need to get out before I throw up again."

And it was true, she would throw up if they didn't stop talking. Plus, Elide didn't care in the slightest what the drunk her had done. She hated her so much.

Lysandra giggled and she felt it as she climbed between the covers until she was settled next to her on the pillows, "Between her and Lorcan though, no?"

The cry of disgust that erupted from Aelin and the all too loud laugh from the other didn't make Elide register the words right away, but as soon as she realised what they had said, her stomach began to twist and turn, and not like when Lorcan accidentally brushed her hand or when he put his hand on her thigh during movie nights. Oh no.

With a movement she didn't know she had the physical skills to make, she shifted the covers off her body and launched herself into the hallway, slamming her hand against the bathroom door and throwing herself to the floor in front of the toilet before the highly concentrated alcoholic contents in her stomach spilled onto the floor.

As she vomited and Lysandra tied up her hair, massaging her back, Elide felt her heart break slowly. She wanted to turn around, to ask Aelin what had happened, or maybe not. She groaned as another gag shook her body and her eyes filled with tears once more as she puked what could only be alcohol.

"How do you still have stuff in your stomach?" muttered Aelin from outside the bathroom door.

Elide didn't blame her, vomit was disgusting and she was particularly sensitive to the sound of gagging. The only reason Lysandra wasn't the least bit uncomfortable was her younger sister Evangeline, who she had practically raised without anyone's help. Whatever came out of a person's body, their friend had already seen it in all shapes and colours.

Elide cursed herself for thinking such a thing while she was bent over the toilet throwing up, because it pushed her over the edge one more time and a sob wracked her body, "Fuck-" she managed to mutter between spits.

"I thought you weren't going to barf any more after last night," Lys said, continuing to rub her back.

"True," Aelin mumbled a little louder, "did you keep drinking after?"

Elide managed to turn her head towards the door, seeing that her friend was sitting on the floor just outside the bathroom. She grimaced as a gust of air that smelled like vomit reached her nose, "After what?"

"You and Lorcan left after you threw up," Lys explained to her. Elide didn't bother turning towards her, she didn't have the energy, "And you threw up so much Ellie, everywhere. It's weird that you have anything else to reject."

It wasn't weird at all considering the only thing Elide remembered was the amounts of alcohol she had ingested. She'd started just before seven with straight tequila, desperate to see how indifferent people were to the biggest catastrophic problems in human history, and everyone knew she couldn't handle alcohol even in small amounts. But Elide was also known to be the type who could drink for hours without ever feeling sick, if she now found herself bent over the toilet the next morning, it meant she had gone too far.

"I don't remember anything."

"It's okay, don't worry about it," Aelin said and Elide felt a shiver run through her body at the hint of mischief in her voice. She braced herself mentally to hear how much she'd actually whored out the night before, "We're here to fix the memory loss."

Lysandra made a disgusted noise as Elide flushed the toilet and the water stirred underneath them, but she patted her shoulders and pulled herself up, "You need to take a shower first though. Because you smell like death."

"Geez, thanks," Elide murmured as she began to undress.

The grin that appeared on Aelin's face made her hands freeze around the hem of her shirt. The other arched an eyebrow, looking into her eyes, "What? Lorcan is the only one you can flash?"

Elide closed her eyes, bringing her hands to her face and then let go a scream of frustration.

"Exactly."

Oh, god.

"I remember..." Elide scoffed, running her hands through her hair. When her fingers reached the tips, she was horrified to find they were encrusted with what was surely vomit from the night before. "Fuck."

Lysandra snickered beside her, "Why were you so drunk that you didn't realise what you were doing so damn early?"

Elide looked at her, and although she knew the question was only asked to tease her more, there was a note of concern in her tone. Her shoulders sagged a little and she shook her head, starting to undress undisturbed, "I set out to research a few things and the world is a shitty place and there was nothing I could do in the immediate future to save us all so I got drunk."

"Sounds like alcoholism," Aelin joked.

Both Lysandra and Elide laughed, "If you knew what I found out you'd get drunk too," the latter added.

"Send everything my way." the blonde winked at her, and then they went out, leaving her alone to wash away the sins of the night before and letting her mind travel. And Elide's mind travelled far too much as she racked her brains to remember Lorcan's reactions to a naked her.

After her friends had told her everything that had happened the night before. From her taking her clothes off in front of her best friend, to him getting stuck in their bathroom and calling Aelin for help, to her dancing with Kyllian specifically to make her roommate jealous - or so the drunk her seemed to have justified her actions - to Fenrys saving her from what was sure to end up being just casual sex that would only widen the gap between her and Lorcan.

Gap that apparently wasn't as pronounced as she thought.

Aelin and Lysandra had told her about the way he had pushed his way through the crowd and joined Elide on the dance floor. The way they had danced to one of their favourite songs until they had been on the verge of kissing.

Elide had never been so relieved to know that she'd thrown up on someone. And that her plan to attract Lorcan had worked.

She was cooking now, thinking about how bad it would have been for her to find out they'd kissed without having even the slightest recollection of it happening, when the front door opened and the boy who was the object of her dreams walked into the kitchen.

He stopped in the doorway, looking at her with the most emotionless face Elide had ever seen him wear.

"Hello, handsome." she murmured, continuing to cook.

Lorcan stood still in the threshold for a while without saying anything, as if to sort the situation out. Then, without taking his eyes off what she was doing, he took off his jacket and shoes and walked into the kitchen, "How are you feeling?"

Elide had her back to him as she washed some tomatoes, "Just a bit of a headache. I threw up again when I woke up, but other than that I'm fine."

"Did you drink some water? Had breakfast?" he asked her.

Elide shook her head looking at him, "I woke up after noon, Aelin and Lysandra came over." then frowned, "I think it's their fault I threw up."

Lorcan chuckled, "Sure, absolutely." then he gathered his hair into a messy bun and Elide focused on the way the muscles of his biceps tensed every time he pulled on the elastic, "It's not the alcoholic coma from last night at all."

Elide gathered some courage and taking a deep breath, said, "About last night-"

"We don't have to talk about it," Lorcan immediately interrupted her.

She looked up at him, trying not to show any emotion, trying to read his on that sculptural face that remained impassive. Then, seeing the way he was looking at her, she came to a conclusion.

She arched an eyebrow, plastering a grin on her face, "Does this mean you didn't like my tits?"

Lorcan turned red in the face before stuttering, "No. I mean, yes! No, fuck. Shit... I don't know."

Elide chuckled and began to dress their salad, "You've never seen a pair of tits before?" she asked knowing full well how untrue that was.

When she had moved into the flat, both she and he had had their own wild nights out where they brought home a different partner every weekend. On one occasion, Elide had been stunned when she came out of her room and bumped into a girl she had spent the night with a few weeks earlier. The girl had only bid her good morning, winking, before returning to Lorcan's room.

"No, it's not that," he muttered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So surely you'll have other samples to compare my boobs to and you'll be able to tell me if they're above average," she continued, prolonging this gentle torture.

He sat down, both elbows resting on the table, and rested his chin on his clasped hands. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds, then whispered, "What are you doing?"

"I'm making our lunch," she replied innocently.

She heard him breathe through his nose, "Why are we talking about your tits, I meant?"

"Uh," she smiled, casting him another quick glance, "I didn't think you were so grossed out that you can't even handle a conversation about them."

The frown on his face went deeper and deeper. He remained silent for so long that Elide thought he would never say anything again, that she would never get his thoughts on her breasts, but when she served the salad, sitting down in front of him, he finally spoke.

"It's not that," he repeated, looking away, "they're very nice. Balanced." he began to eat undisturbed and Elide grimaced in amusement, finding a way to keep the conversation going.

"Balanced? What are they? An economic system?"

Lorcan clenched his jaw, setting his fork down on his plate and looking into her face again. She knew she was playing a dangerous game, that she was risking losing her sanity, but she had to know, had to-

"They're perfect and, maybe they are because they're attached to you, but they're probably the most beautiful tits I've ever seen."

Elide's brain shut down. And he seemed to realise it too because the shadow of a smile began to form on his lips.

Lorcan leaned forward on the table and her eyes snapped to his arms. Fingers flexing, interlocking, caught her attention completely. She returned her gaze to his, feeling her body heat up as he resumed speaking. "If I'm going to be completely honest... If you want the details, Elide," the way he said her name made her most intimate part clench around nothing, "I've never seen such nice, small nipples and that pink?" he shut his eyes, moaning as he brought one of the tomatoes to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the fork.

Elide swallowed the mouthful that had been in her mouth for over a minute and nearly choked when he opened his eyes again and they were darker than normal if that was possible.

She looked away, too many feelings building up inside her, but crossed her legs, trying to relieve some of the tension there.

"Wasn't that enough, Ellie?" he asked in a rough voice, biting into an olive, making sure she saw the way his lips closed around it.

She swallowed again, "No, it was fine..." she cleared her throat when it came out too weak, "Thanks for the feedback."

Lorcan let go a throaty chuckle, "The pleasure is all mine."

***

Like every Sunday evening, the whole group had gathered at the twins' house. And that night everyone was there, although Vaughan and Vesta, along with Aedion and Sorrel, had gone out into the back yard a few hours ago and had not yet returned. Elide suspected they'd taken to smoking.

Those left in the house were playing one of the most popular games, "I feel like."

The game had no real objective, other than to embarrass people or get them to confess to extreme or obscene sexual acts. It was simply a matter of drawing a card, reading what it said and giving it to the person you thought had done the closest thing to what was described on the card. The only real rule was that you had to tell the whole story of what happened if the card you were handed told the truth.

Quite often the game would be interrupted because one of the two sides of the various couples would cheat, change the rules and instead of passing it on to the appropriate person, they would pass it on to their partner as an invitation to lock themselves in the first spare room they could find to experiment with what was asked by the game.

The cards could range from as basic things as "I feel like your first time was in a public restroom." to as a bit more hardcore as "I feel like you got fisted in the woods."

And in that moment, Elide had a strong feeling that Rowan and Aelin would soon be going home.

"Oh my fucking god," Rowan muttered as he read the words on the card, turning red from head to toe. He looked up at Aelin, swallowing and making his adam's apple bob, "Where do you even find these games?"

Elide giggled beside him, "There's a girl on the internet who updates the cards every month and puts them up for sale, we take turns to see who has to buy them each time."

"Oh god," he said shaking his head. When he slid the card in Aelin's direction, the girl leaned towards him to leave a soft kiss on his lips and when they broke away they were both smiling. Aelin read what was written on the card and for a second it seemed like the colour drained from her face, but then she blinked and cleared her throat, looking at Rowan with wide eyes.

"Maybe we should go away. To try it out." she murmured, so quietly that only those on the couch with them heard her.

Elide looked up at the boy next to her, or rather, behind her, to see if he was listening, but he seemed lost in thought. He had been absentmindedly stroking her arm since they had settled there, and Elide didn't think she had ever been so relaxed in her life.

She and Lorcan were sitting at one end of the sofa, opposite to Rowan and Aelin, her between his legs and with her back against his chest. Every time one of them laughed, their bodies moved closer together and now she had her head resting on the part of his chest between his neck and shoulder.

She was home.

Fenrys and Connall, across the living room, sitting on the floor, booed.

"You can't pass them all on to her!" complained Lysandra.

Aelin didn't even look at her as she spoke, her eyes always fixed on Rowan's, as if they were having a telepathic conversation, "Lys, shut up."

Her friend gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth.

"I say we vote to kick them out of the room," Asterin said, in exactly the same position she was in, but between her boyfriend's legs. Half the people in the room raised their hands to the sky, making Aelin roll her eyes.

Fenrys nodded, always ready to back Asterin up in whatever situation they were in, "It's starting to smell like Rowaelin in here."

Lorcan chuckled behind her, knocking her forward. And as the others lost themselves in the chatter, Elide shifted her gaze to Manon, who sat in the armchair next to the couch, one hand in Dorian's hair, who sat with his head resting on the armrest.

Her friend's bright eyes sparkled with malice as she arched an eyebrow and gestured to the boy she was practically sitting on. Elide felt her cheeks blush, but smiled naively at her, pretending not to know what she was alluding to. Manon smiled back.

Elide had never spoken openly to her about Lorcan, not in that way at least, but she knew Manon knew - in fact, now that she thought about it, she had never had to do that with anyone. Everyone had been rather quick to catch on that. Everyone except Lorcan.

The hand on her arm stopped, clinging completely against her skin and Elide had to force herself not to look at him, but then he lowered himself onto her and whispered in her ear, "Ellie."

She turned her head just enough to look at him and his lips brushed her cheek, so briefly that she thought she had imagined it. Lorcan had pulled back and was now looking into her eyes, "Your turn."

She blinked and turned towards the others, only realising at that moment that all eyes were on them. She felt her face burn, but she nodded, putting a hand on Lorcan's knee and pushing herself forward, rubbing her ass on the crotch of his trousers. She'd been doing this all night, all night teasing him, just as he was teasing her, brushing the side of the breasts from time to time.

And each time, Lorcan would burst into a coughing fit and move further back, which only gave Elide a chance to grind even harder against him in an attempt to regain the comfortable position they were in before.

As she settled back into her seat, she met Fenrys' gaze, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. She lowered her eyes to the maroon card in her hands quickly, shimming her hips between his legs. Lorcan's hands ended on her shoulders and she looked up at him, batting her eyelids like a fawn.

"Stop moving around so much," he grumbled.

She smiled gently and then took up reading. She hadn't touched alcohol that night, for obvious reasons, but she still found it hard to understand what was written there when Lorcan's fingers began to draw imaginary lines across her bare skin.

"I feel like..." she whispered, her eyes going wide. She looked across the sofa at Rowan.

The friend gave her a chuckle, "I told you they seemed a bit extreme."

I feel like you performed a titjob on someone while being eaten out.

Before she could realise what she was doing, she said, "Can I give myself the card or...?"

Dorian turned a quizzical look on her, "You know you have to-"

Fenrys shrieked something unintelligible, but that stopped Dorian. Manon above them clenched her hands into fists, her eyes half-closed at the sudden commotion, "I haven't killed you yet just because-"

"Yeah yeah, just because of Asterin, I get it," Fenrys replied moving a hand midair, his gaze never leaving Elide's, who in a moment of clarity realised what Dorian was about to say. What the blond said only served to confirm her fear, "But Elide just confessed to doing whatever is written on it and I want to know every detail."

She felt Lorcan stiffen behind her and then Elide realised something else entirely. He must have read what was written on the card.

"So?" pressed Aelin, leaning over Rowan and snatching the card from Elide's hands. She opened her mouth wide with an amused expression, then put on a pout, looking at her boyfriend, "These are the things I sometimes wish you'd be a little more open about."

Rowan arched an eyebrow, reading the card in turn, "We can do those two things at the same time and without anyone else having to see you naked."

Lysandra, next to them, picked up the card, "Oh, Aedion and I did that too. Although it was a normal blowjob, no titty job." she exclaimed happily.

One thing that pleased Elide greatly was the fact that no one in that room would judge her for what she did in the bedroom and who she did it with. Also because there was a high probability that they had done it too.

And slowly the card was passed among all the members of their group and when it reached Fenrys and Asterin, the girl winked at Elide, murmuring a sensual, "I've never done it, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt." Fenrys winked behind her, intertwining their hands. Asterin's smile only grew wider, before she added, "You have our numbers."

Elide blushed, but smiled anyway, nodding.

Everyone began to talk about the various possibilities, as they did during every turn, and the card finally passed from Dorian and Manon and the two exchanged only a glance before giving the card to Lorcan.

Lorcan who was taking deep breaths one after the other and had his eyes closed. Elide had never seen him so focused in her life. She noticed the way he contracted and relaxed his jaw repeatedly and frowned.

Was he alright?

She ran a finger over his thigh to get his attention, tracing a line from his knee to where his leg touched her hip and Lorcan let go a shuddering breath, opening his eyes slightly and tightening his grip on her shoulders, "I don't think you should do that." his voice so hoarse and deep that Elide felt her stomach knot. She didn't understand what he was referring to.

And then she felt it.

Hard and... thick against her ass.

She opened her eyes wide, pointing them at him, and held her breath. She had to stop herself from opening her mouth in surprise, but she couldn't stop herself when her hips pushed against Lorcan's now obvious erection.

Elide had never been so happy to hear Fenrys' laughter as she was at that moment, because if it hadn't been for the sudden noise, the moans that escaped them both would have been heard all too well and neither of them would have been able to look at anyone else in the room for the rest of their lives.

Lorcan swallowed, breathing through his nostrils, and his gaze fell to her lips. Her eyes did the same and she didn't care that they were among everyone and would have everyone's eyes on them if they did exactly what Elide was thinking, because his lips parted slightly and he whispered her name and she was lost.

Without thinking about it for another second, Elide turned just enough to have her face directly in front of his and closed her eyes, feeling his lips brush hers. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Lorcan,"

And then she kissed him, and it was exactly as she had always dreamed it would be, as his lips moved with hers and they tasted and breathed from each other. A sound that Elide had never made in her life rose up her throat as Lorcan shifted and with a sharp movement of his hips turned her fully towards him and now she was on her knees in front of him, both of them breathing heavily as they looked into each other's eyes.

Someone coughed in the room and she heard Aelin whisper a weak "fucking finally", but Elide didn't give a shit.

She placed her hands on Lorcan's face, tilting his head back so she could reach him better. The second his hands landed on her hips, their lips collided again in a fierce kiss and his tongue found its way into her mouth.

The first touch of their tongues was like having a thousand fireworks explode in her mouth.

"Okay, it's time to join the others," Manon murmured.

Elide heard Fenrys mutter, "Please not on the couch, there are guest rooms upstairs."

Lorcan pulled away from her just enough to see what was going on around them and her hands slid around his neck, ending in his hair as she admired the line of his cheekbones and the way his lashes caressed his skin every time he closed his eyes.

God, he was beautiful.

"Which one can we use?" asked Lorcan as he looked at Fenrys.

Elide's eyes went wide, causing him to turn towards her. She ran a thumb over his lower lip, smirking, "So sure of yourself."

Without missing a beat, Lorcan mimicked her grin and squeezed her hips, "You don't want to?"

Elide smiled, turning towards her friends, stopping to look at Fenrys, "The second on the left right?"

When the owner of the house winked at her, nodding, she stood up, pulling Lorcan with her, who had a confused look on his face, "Why do you know that?"

She had the decency to blush, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the stairs, "You don't want to know."

Lysandra burst out laughing as everyone resumed their seats on the floor or the couch, "You really don't."

Elide tugged at him more insistently, not looking at Lorcan's reaction to those words. She just wanted to get to the room and lock herself in with him.

When she felt his hand settle on her hip and slide down to her ass cheek, where he paused to give it a squeeze, she almost turned and slammed him against the wall just so she could continue kissing him how she needed to.

They arrived in front of the door and she stopped with her fingers on the handle, once inside there would be no stopping. There would be no point of return.

His fingers brushed her cheek and she turned to face him, who now wore a ravenous, excited look, but Elide could see the concern and hesitation in taking the next step, "We don't have to do anything, Ellie."

She nodded, because she knew that was the case, but squeezed his hand to emphasize what he said, "But I want to."

"Good thing, cause the thought of you fucking those two gave me some ideas."

She grinned, placing a hand on his chest, "I wasn't the one doing the titty work, but we can always try."

Lorcan groaned softly at the knowledge of Elide licking another girl and then pushed the door open, backing in and taking his-

Whatever Elide was at that moment to him, it wasn't important.

The only thing that was important was his lips on hers.

The difference in height wasn't making it easy for him, and when he leaned down even further, never breaking the kiss, to run his hands under her knees and pull her up, Elide seemed to understand that right away and, pulling away just enough to jump into his arms, they found themselves on each other in seconds.

Lorcan bit her lower lip, making her moan, and when he moved to her jaw, nipping lightly at her skin, Elide threw her head back, pushing her hips against his and drawing a groan from both of them.

He immediately took the opportunity to latch his lips onto the smooth, quivering skin of her neck, feeling the bed behind his knees and sitting up, letting her straddle him. His hands moved up her legs, caressing her inner thighs, but never really getting close to where she needed him most.

Elide began to grope his chest, grazing the skin of his arms, but never staying in one spot, until Lorcan began to suck at the bare skin between her neck and shoulder and she nudged him slightly.

He quickly pulled away, panting, "What?"

There were too many layers. Keeping her eyes fixed on his, Elide lowered her hands to the hem of her shirt and slipped it off in one swift movement. She smiled smugly when she could finally see Lorcan's reaction to her bare tits.

His eyes were slightly wider than usual and his pupils so dilated that Elide realised that she had never noticed that Lorcan's eye colour was not black, but just a very dark brown. When he looked at her, the words died in her throat.

"I love it when you don't wear a bra," he murmured, reaching up to her and brushing her lips with his, "But I love even more the way you shiver every time I do this."

Elide didn't have a chance to dwell on the way he'd said love, because without her noticing, his hands had found their place on her waist and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out in pleasure when he brushed the sides of her breasts with his thumbs.

He pushed himself further against her, brushing his lips over her ear, "When we're alone and you don't have to hold back, I want you to scream my name." and then he moved quickly, leaving only a light kiss on her shoulder before his lips closed around a sensitive nipple.

With the first sweep of his tongue around the hard bead, Elide whimpered, pushing her hips down against his and making him moan into her chest. She brought her hands into his hair, clenching and pulling each time his teeth bit or scraped the sensitive skin around the nipple.

When he seemed to want to move on to the other breast, Elide shook her head, pulling his hair back to its roots and forcing her mouth against his, making him grunt. She had to feel him.

"Lorcan," she breathed, between kisses, "I need to touch you."

One of her hands slipped between the two of them, palming him through the sweatpants that did little to hide Lorcan's huge boner. He moaned against her chin, "Fuck."

They pulled apart again and when he had stripped off his shirt, Elide didn't waste a moment and pressed her bare chest against his, causing him to fall back onto the mattress.

Lorcan had other ideas though, because in one smooth motion she found herself lying on her back, his gentle weight pressing her against the covers and his bright smile lighting up his face. He left a kiss on her nose, on her lips and then down to the split in the middle of her breasts and her eyes rolled back in her head as a flashback from two nights before appeared in her head, of Lorcan doing the same thing with his eyes as they danced.

"Can I take these off?" he asked her, once he reached her hips where he was leaving kisses light as feathers.

Elide was breathing raggedly, but nodded when she understood he was talking about her leggings. Still keeping her eyes closed, she lifted her hips off the mattress, closing her fists around the covers as her bottoms disappeared along with her socks and the cold air hit her bare skin.

Now only the thin fabric of her black panties separated her from achieving what she wanted.

That and Lorcan's slacks.

"Ellie." she heard him as he came back on top of her, one knee between her legs to keep his balance. She licked her lip, opening her eyes and keeping her gaze fixed on him, on that perfect face.

"Do you have a condom?" she asked in a whisper, as if afraid the answer would be no. She had them, but they were downstairs, in her purse, and she had no desire to leave the room right then.

Lorcan arched an eyebrow, "I'm not having sex with you tonight, Elide."

She frowned, folding her arms under her and propping herself up on her elbows, "What does that mean?"

"That I'm not completely sober," he said, leaning his head towards her chest, keeping his eyes fixed in hers, "And the first time it'll be inside you," he murmured in a rougher voice, placing a light kiss on the nipple he hadn't licked before, "I want it to be at a time when I'm lucid and can remember all the noises and moans you make." and then he gave the same attention to her other breast, pushing her against the mattress one more time, until Elide was a squirming mess under him and deemed his treatment sufficient.

"Now I'm going to slip these off," Lorcan murmured, grazing a finger along the hem of her panties, and Elide shuddered, "and touch you. Here." the same finger slid across her covered folds, starting at her clit and following her slit to her entrance. "Already so wet for me."

Elide thrashed on the bed, moaning softly as he applied a little more pressure, "Stop teasing, we'll have time for that when we get home." she managed to toss out between shaky breaths.

"Understood ma'am." he taunted, grabbing the edges of the thing and pulling it down. The sound that burst from him was completely animalistic and threatened to make Elide come before he even really touched her. "So beautiful." he said, kneeling in front of her.

Lorcan's hands wrapped around her ankles and he pushed her legs up, placing her feet on the edge of the bed, until she was left with her knees bent and her pussy at his full disposal. Elide risked looking down between her legs and her eyes locked into his as he lowered himself onto her and smiled.

The way her chest rose and fell made her tits bounce and Lorcan seemed to appreciate it, but he didn't seem to be planning to do anything. Elide tipped her head back, whispering in a weak voice, "Do something, please."

He laughed and her muscles flexed, clenching around nothing. It was at that moment that she felt him, his breath on the most sensitive part of her body. "I'm going to make you cum so fast you won't have time to count to a hundred."

Lorcan's fingers came off her ankles and went to part her lips, making her feel the warm air of his breathe even more. He parted them until he was satisfied and Elide lowered her gaze just as his tongue made contact with her throbbing core. A rush of pleasure coursed through her body, making her legs tremble, "Lor," she moaned.

"Mh, El," he closed his lips around her clit, pressing his tongue against the pearl over and over, until Elide repeated his name like a prayer, "So good. You taste so good."

Her hands ended up in his hair again, pushing his face against her sex, seeking more. She began to move her hips, following the strokes of his mouth on her, but one of Lorcan's arms slithered around her pelvis and pinned her to the bed, lapping her juices as with his thumb he reached to massage her clit with such precision that Elide knew that whatever she would do on her own in the future, she would never be able to match how he was making her feel.

Elide cried out in pleasure, bringing a hand to her mouth as she felt his tongue thrust into her and an all too familiar warmth build up in the pit of her stomach.

She brought one hand up to massage the nipple he had only kissed and made a choked sound, her hips jerking upwards.

Lorcan moaned against her, a new sound, different from any he'd made so far, and Elide couldn't help herself. She pulled herself up onto her elbows, continuing to touch herself as he kept sending jolts of pleasure with every thrust of his tongue and every caress of his thumb, and the sight of him eating her out would have been enough to push her over the edge, but the hand wrapped around his thick, throbbing cock pumping relentlessly was the thing that made her eyes roll back and explode as the rope inside her snapped. Her legs gave out, falling over the edge of the bed and finding their place on Lorcan's shoulders.

Her mouth gaped open in a silent scream as her whole body trembled in pleasure as wave after wave surged through her and her back arched so wide she broke away from the bed.

Lorcan didn't stop touching her, but he pulled his mouth away from her, still massaging her clit until Elide was too sensitive and with a groan she tightened a hand around his wrist to push him away. She heard him grunt and then moan, but she didn't have the strength to lower her gaze to what she knew very well was a cumming Lorcan.

She was breathing hard, one hand on her stomach to rest and the other still clasped around his.

Every now and then her body was shaken by a spasm, but she managed to calm down after a few minutes and close her aching legs. She rolled onto her side, letting go of his wrist.

Lorcan was also breathless and kept his forehead pressed against the edge of the bed.

Elide felt a tinge of pain tingle through her heart. She pulled herself up just enough to look into his face, "Lor?"

She reached out a hand towards him, placing it on his shoulder, at which he raised his head and looked at her with bright eyes and an open mouth, "Are you alright?"

She nodded, smiling at him and falling back into the now unmade blankets, "Never been better."

He chuckled deeply, moving from his position on the floor and causing at least two joints in his legs to crack.

The moment Elide saw he'd managed to get at least halfway out of his trousers, her throat went dry. And her brain forgot how to talk when she noticed he wasn't wearing boxers. Elide knew Lorcan often went commando, but seeing it with her own eyes was a different story. Seeing him, was a completely different thing from feeling him against her.

She swallowed. She'd intended to scold him for taking all the fun out of both of them by touching himself, but maybe Elide had overestimated her abilities, because the idea of having to give Lorcan a blowjob when his dick was like this-

"If you keep looking at me like that I'm not sure I can keep the promise I made to myself," he murmured in a serious voice.

Elide looked up at his face and sighed as she saw his eyes as dark as before, just moments before he pulled off his clothes completely and lay down beside her on the other side of the bed.

It didn't take her even half a second to wrap herself around him and press her body against Lorcan's side as he draped an arm around her shoulders.

His fingertips began to trace idle lines on her shoulder as he had done only half an hour before on the couch in front of everyone.

A satisfied and surprised laugh came out of her. Lorcan put his hand under her chin and when she looked up at him he had an equally satisfied smile on his lips. He pushed her head towards his, causing their mouths to collide in a brief kiss that was chaste in comparison to what they had just done and when they broke away, Elide frowned, "I didn't like you touching yourself without giving me a chance to enjoy this in turn."

The corner of Lorcan's mouth turned up, "Sorry honey, but seeing you naked like that on the bed for me has been my dream for a little too long and I was sure I would have come in zero time if I had let you touch me. It would have been embarrassing." he whispered, caressing her cheek.

Elide tried to suppress a smile, failing miserably. She decided to tease him a little, "I thought I heard you say you lasted long in bed, didn't you?"

He chuckled, "You know it's hard to rely on stamina when the girl in question is you."

At those words she felt a particularly strong surge of affection for the boy who had given her one of the most intense orgasms she had ever received and she pushed herself closer against him, making her bare breasts feel against his skin.

Lorcan turned slightly towards her, looking into her face.

He looked so relaxed.

She knew he was.

But there was something that didn't allow her to be one hundred percent.

She fixed her eyes on his, placing a hand on his chest, over his heart. The hand Lorcan had held behind his head until now came to rest on hers, squeezing her fingers tight.

Elide took a shuddering breath, "Now what?"

Lorcan suppressed a yawn, "I guess it's not a problem if we stay here and sleep-"

"No, I'm saying," she interrupted him, looking away, "what do we do now? You and I." then, realizing that question couldn't have been more vague, she closed her eyes, mustering courage, "What are we now?"

"Whatever you want us to be, Ellie," he said softly, starting to stroke her hand, "But I want one thing to be clear. And I'd like you to look at me while I say it."

Elide opened her eyes, lifting her chin slightly so she could see him better, and gave him a small smile, which he immediately returned.

"What is it?"

Lorcan's gaze moved to her lips, before returning to her eyes, "I like you, Elide."

She stopped breathing.

"I really like you and whatever you decide to do with me, I'll respect that, but I also want to say that if you don't want anything exclusive, then this will have been a one night stand and won't happen again."

Although she also wanted exactly the same things, hearing him say them made her chest hurt, because the prospect of not being able to have him again so soon after just finally finding him hurt.

She cleared her throat, nodding, "I like you too." she whispered, noticing his eyes widen a little, "And I don't want you going with any other girls besides me if we decide to continue with this." Lorcan nodded, agreeing with her, then continued, "If you don't want a relationship right away, I can understand that, but know that I do." she felt herself blush as she finally admitted the truth out loud, looking away, "And I know our situation isn't the best with being roommates and all-"

"Our situation is perfect," Lorcan corrected her, moving a strand of hair out of her face.

She looked at him again, seeing him smile.

"Ellie, you're my best friend. The person who knows me the most out of all the people I consider important. We already live together, we won't have to fight over who to stay at every night. We won't have to go on any awkward first dates and the sex seems phenomenal to me," a lump formed in her throat as she tried to keep her breathing regular, but found it difficult when he smiled at her more broadly, "I waited months for you to see that the playlists were all declarations and hoped that after Friday night something would change. For once I won."

Elide figured he was talking about what had happened at the club, but if she was going to be completely honest... "I was the one who showed you my tits twice, letting you know I wanted something more. Don't take all the credit."

Lorcan burst out laughing and it sounded more scratchy than usual, "I'm sorry, you're right."

He kissed her again and again, and held her close as he ran his fingers through her hair and murmured the words to a love song, and before long she fell asleep in his arms, making Lorcan the happiest man in the world.

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[creativeashproductions]

Banjo Riff // Platonic!Reggie Peters

IN WHICH: Luke rejects Reggie’s ideas for country music one too many times leading to the friendship fracturing and putting the bands future in question. Luke, with the help of his girlfriend the reader and his friends scramble to make it up to the bassist.

Warnings: Swearing, hurt!Reggie, Luke being an ass, fighting, angst, and fluff

Words: 3.2k

A/N: This idea has been sitting in my notes for MONTHS now. Song referenced is Lay Here With Me by Maddie & Tae (featuring Dierks Bentley)

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

If there was one thing Sunset Curve, then later Julie and the Phantoms would rely on, it was the battle between Luke and Reggie. Since the conception of a band between the friends, Reggie had always wanted to play a country song. He had learned how to play the banjo in preparation, but Luke rejected both the idea and songs as always.

"You said our sound was vintage '80s and '90s rock music Luke. The band evolved into a pop-rock sound-"

"Because our band changed from Sunset Curve to Julie and the Phantoms. I love you, man, but there's no way we're going country." Luke finally snapped with a heated glare on his face. Luke didn't mean to snap so severely, but it happened.

Luke watched as Reggie's face completely dropped into the kicked puppy expression that tore everyone apart. Instead of making light of the conversation, Reggie mutely nodded in response before turning to grab his bass for the band practice. Luke's stomach dropped at the rather odd behaviour, but Luke blamed his response on his current writers' block.

"Let's start with Flying Solo." Luke proclaimed, hoping Reggie's favourite song would cheer him up. Alex's curious gaze bounced between the two other males in the band just as Julie wandered into the garage.

Before Julie could even question the tension, Reggie had started the beat on the pad stationed on the keyboard. The young female immediately jumped into the first rehearsal song with ease. Every attempt Julie was about to question Reggie's uncharacteristic quiet, the bassist started a different song.

"What's his problem?" Julie questioned as Reggie packed up his stuff and practically sprinted out of the studio. He'd rejected the offer of a pizza movie night.

"Luke here decided to be an asshole again." Alex's tone of voice was sugary sweet in comparison to the glare he sent his guitarist. 

Luke flinched at the furious expression on his bandmate's face. It wasn't a secret Julie and Reggie gravitated to each other in sibling bond. The two had been friends since infancy through their parents; Julie was there when the Peters started fighting. Reggie was there when Julie's mom passed away.

"Don't kill me!" Luke pleaded, scrambling around the piano from the intimidating Puerto Rican who had a solid punch. Julie's anger faltered at the guilt on the boy's face, "I was frustrated, and I shouldn't have taken it out on him!"

"What did Reggie do to deserve it?" Julie asked from the other side of the piano, acting as a barrier between the teenagers.

"He asked about the band doing a country song," Luke admitted with a grimace. His hazel eyes dimmed once more.

"What is your issue with country music? Your girlfriend is literally a country singer Luke!" Alex cried, stepping in between the two feuding bandmates.

Rock n' Roll Luke Patterson had been dating a well-known country singer for close to two years now. Luke had always been adamant that country wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but if you looked in the false bottom of the console in his car, you'd see a different story. Beneath the Eagles, Nirvana, AC/DC, and Gun N' Roses CDs, you'd find countless CDs of his girlfriend. He even had a playlist with a name that concealed the music in it.

Luke was a secret country fan, but he'd take that to his grave before he let anyone other than you know that.

"I don't have an issue! I don't think our band would benefit from branching into that music genre!" Luke argued with his bare arms crossing over his chest. Both Julie and Alex were about to respond when the studio gained another inhabitant.

"Would anyone like to explain why Reggie stormed into my house holding his songbook? He literally dropped it in my garage and tried to light it on fire?" You asked from the double doors with said book in your hand.

All three out of four members of Julie and the Phantoms recognized the book with a country landscape. The sight caused all their stomachs to drop at the obvious symbol of Reggie's hurt feelings.

"Funny story-"

"Luke Patterson...did you hurt his feelings about his love of country?" You asked through clenched teeth. Your response was Luke wincing at the anger blistering in your tone, "Did you ever think that country music is his comfort music? Fix this, Luke. Reggie, of all people, doesn't deserve your frustration."

You turned on your heel with Julie following in the attempt to find the forlorn bassist, most likely being hard on himself. You checked the beach house Reggie's dad had gotten in the divorce to no success. The school auditorium was empty, and so was the stable where Reggie worked part-time for the horses. You had returned back to Julie's house to sit on the porch to brainstorm.

"Isn't this the week he's with his mom?" Julie questioned with a furrowed brow. You could only shrug as Julie pulled up the calendar she shared with Flynn.

Reggie's parents had somewhat amicably divorced two years ago after attempts of reconciliation through therapy. Reggie had sat down with them to tell them how he felt with them fighting, if you recalled. They decided to do a trial separation for a few months and, in the end, had mutually agreed to divorce.

"I think Mr. Peters is taking care of his mother in a different state. She broke her hip, and now she's being moved into a retirement home." You offered the girl the encapsulated sunshine in just her smile.

"I suppose we'll try the Carter-Peters home." Julie breathed, bouncing on her feet to your car parked in front of her house. Julie's fingers tapped the screen in a chat thread she hadn't touched for months.

Your keen eyes easily read Carrie Wilson's name at the top of the thread that had been dormant since the end of their friendship. Apparently, Julie received little help in the frustrated sigh she released and the increasingly violent tapping of her screen.

"As usual, Carrie is no help," Julie announced with disgust in her voice. She squeezed the hand you placed on her knee before your hand returned to the wheel.

"One day, you'll have to tell me what happened between the two of you."

"Old news. Happened just before you moved back from Nashville." Julie once more avoided talking about the issues. 

It was the same response every time you questioned the friendship that had fractured in the few years you'd been in Nashville. Before you left, Carrie and Julie had been attached at the hip, and when you came back, they were at each other's throats. Well, mostly Carrie was because Julie had too big of a heart to stand up to her former friend.

"Well, the beat-up van is still there." Julie caught the van, more of an eyesore, to be honest, sitting in the three-car driveway. The van was shared between Reggie and Flynn as a joint gift from their parents when Reggie's mom moved in with Flynn and her father.

"We both know Reggie-"

"Would walk to work through his problems. The number of times I've found in walking downtown…" Julie trailed with a shake of her half up half down hairstyle she left uncovered by a hat. Another symbol of her finding herself outside the grief that had concealed her.

"Oh, thank god." Flynn moaned from the front porch with her headphones resting on her shoulders instead of her ears, "He's been playing his old bass that makes that odd high pitch squeak noise. I couldn't take it. Get him out!"

You opened and closed your mouth with the inability to find the words, but Flynn knew already, "Doors unlocked. He's in his room."

"Thanks." You informed the fashionable teenager before brushing passed into the house. Not much had changed since Reggie had moved part-time into the house; his parents shared custody.

Flynn was right; the sound of that screech was like a bread trail to the last bedroom in the hallway to the left. The door opened a smidge to reveal Reggie sitting in the dim room with just his bedside lamp on. He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Reggie." You breathed from leaning against the door jam, "I'm not sure what Luke said but don't give up on writing. Your songs mean something, Reginald."

"Then why doesn't Luke even read my lyrics? He barely read the title of my last one before tossing it aside!" Reggie whined before taking on a caricature of Luke's voice, "'Home is Where my Horse Is'? Reggie, stop putting your songs in my book!"

You couldn't help the snort at his interpretation of Luke, "That's a...uh...an accurate voice?"

Reggie didn't even crack a smile.

"Okay, maybe don't push Luke's buttons but imagine turning this hurt into songs!"

"Okay. Can I be left alone?"

"Sure." You sighed, turning to leave the room again, "But first. Don't get rid of this Reg. You have good songs." 

You left Reggie's songbook on the dresser by his door on your way through the Carter-Peters household. Flynn sighed in relief when Reggie didn't continue using his old bass and even waved as you and Julie pulled away from the curb.

Reggie's eyes had stayed on the songbook you left on his second-hand dresser as if it would get up and bite him. All he could see was Luke rolling his eyes when Reggie had opened the book to show him a new song he'd written. Reggie was tired of only being known for playing bass.

"I brought you some leftover pizza." Reggie wasn't aware he'd been staring at the songbook for hours by then. He was only aware of Luke when he offered a peace offering in the form of Reggie's favourite food.

"I-"

"I'll go grab a soda from the fridge." Luke retreated just as quick as he had entered the bedroom. Seeing Luke was like rubbing salt in the open wound, and once more, Reggie's emotions flared.

Reggie was already at the fire pit in the backyard when Luke had argued with Flynn overtaking one of her sodas. The soda that had dropped on the back porch as Luke saw Reggie's fingers about to drop the songbook in the crackling fire.

"Reggie!" Luke shouted, ignoring the cold spray of soda on his bare arms. The hazel-eyed guitarist shoved Reggie away from the fire.

"What the hell, dude?" Reggie groaned, rolling onto his stomach to push himself to his sit on his knees. His blue eyes seeing Luke stomping the ignited corner of the songbook that had caused them issues.

"What the hell were you doing, Reggie?" Luke demanded with the songbook held tight in his grip. The glare on the messy-haired teenager directly pinned on his best friend, "Why would you try to destroy the book?"

"What's the point of having something our band won't branch into?" Reggie shrugged, moving to sit with his knees pulled to chest, "I've tried to keep the peace but Luke. I'm starting to understand why Bobby left the band."

Luke's heart clenched at the honesty Reggie was revealing, "What do you mean?"

"Screw the blood pact." Reggie grumbled, recalling the oath Alex, Bobby, and he had done to keep the truth from Luke, "Bobby didn't leave because he got an early acceptance into Juilliard."

Luke's eyebrows furrowed together, "What?"

"Luke...you tend to get possessive over the music we make. You brushed off Bobby's opinions, and we all didn't want to hurt your feelings. You've had a shitty time with your parents, but like Bobby, I feel like you don't appreciate our talents."

"What? Dude, you're killer on the bass! Alex's insane on the drums!"

"We know that. Maybe Bobby should have told you the truth on why he was leaving. I don't think you noticed but 

"Luke. The songs we perform are all written by you. It was fine, but then when Julie joined, all of a sudden, you were okay with someone else writing with you. But you've never even looked at the songs I've written."

Luke silently listened as Reggie rambled on about how he, along with Bobby, felt underappreciated by the guitarist. 

"And now you've been bit by the writers' block bug, but I think the band should take a break. Get our heads back on straight. Before we destroy the band, destroy our friendships." Reggie told his best friend with tears rolling down his face, "Just a week or two."

Luke's mouth hung open as Reggie circled around him to enter the household, but the telltale sound of the lock engaging broke the teenager. But Luke wasn't one to give up, so he created a group chat with Alex, Julie, Flynn and you. A single text that had all of them meeting at the studio.

"He quit the band?" Alex demanded, taking the songbook from Luke's hand, "What the hell?"

"One second he's in his room, and the next he's about to burn that! I may not like-"

"Luke, have you even read a single song he wrote?" You asked your boyfriend with your arms resting down on your knees. The boy in question half-heartedly shrugged with his eyes on his battered shoes.

"How are we gonna fix this?" Julie asked with a frown marring her pretty face usually lit up with sunshine. Her question was left to waft in the forlorn atmosphere in her family's studio.

"Give me that." You demanded towards the band's drummer with determination lit up in your eyes. Alex hesitantly handed over the songbook to your grabby hands.

The other individuals in the room watched as you settled into a chair with a stray acoustic guitar you'd left. Your eyes focused on the notes Reggie had placed around one of the unfinished songs. The soft melody was played a few times before you noticed Alex creating a beat with his drums.

"If I just tweak the song to make this piece the verse instead of a chorus." You mumbled under your breath with a pen scratching the paper. In a different colour, you jotted down the lyrics of a song you'd been working on previously. It was a song you'd struggled with the ending.

Alex huddled around you to add his own notes for the drums, "Definitely a song with a soft backing beat."

"Perfect. I just joined what he has with a song I'd given up a while back. The two songs are the last two pieces of a puzzle." You informed the drummer. Both of you unaware as Julie, Luke, and Flynn watched your brainstorming.

Luke felt out of sorts not being included in writing a song, but he thought it was suitable to not work on it. It gave Luke insight into how Reggie felt not being included in songwriting.

"I have an idea." Luke interjected with a grin, "Reggie's always wanted to see a real ranch. Do you think your uncle would be okay with us staying at the ranch?"

Your eyes flitted up to the mischievous hazel of your boyfriend's scheming gaze, "My uncle adores having people on the ranch. He'd enjoy teaching Reggie the ways of ranch life out of a city."

"How are you gonna get Reggie out to Nashville without it being band business?" Flynn questioned from her position on the couch, "He did just ask for a break from the band."

"Uh...I could pretend to enter a music competition." You offered hesitantly as you'd never actually performed on a stage for the group. You'd kept your personal life separate from your successful career as a country musician.

So you conspired with your friends to make amends with the bassist.

One Month Later, Nashville

The beat-up van pulled into a parking spot in front of a building. The band had seen the building in pictures on your Instagram. Alex, Luke and Julie all shared a look Reggie couldn't catch with his mouth wide open at the city.

"So, where's this competition?" Reggie inquired with his steps in line with Julie. The distance between Reggie and Luke is still noticeable.

True to Reggie's word, the band had come back together after two weeks of a break, but the bassist and guitarist's friendship was still fractured. A particular cloud of awkwardness followed each attempt; Luke tried to branch it together.

"Uh, not here. Y/N invited me to tour the recording studio she uses through her label." Luke offered to the confused bassist. As usual, Reggie barely cast a glance at the guitarist.

"C'mon!" Alex called out from the open doorway with the new addition of you by his side.

Luke was quick to nearly tackle you in a hug and a lingering kiss on your lips. The band all made sounds of feigned disgust. Even Reggie joined in the usual banter within the group.

"Hey, Reggie, do you want to see how us country artists do it?" You quipped with your arm interlocking with his. The cold leather of his jacket raising goosebumps on your arm as you dragged him to the recording booth.

As soon as he was comfortable on one of the spinney chairs by the producer's side, he watched like a hawk. The band had never been in a real professional recording studio owned by a label. It was interesting to everyone, but mostly they all watched Reggie's reactions.

"I was working on this song." You spoke from inside the booth. With a nod, your producer began playing a portion of the song.

"Is...is that-" Reggie was cut off by as Luke interrupted him.

"Your song? Yeah." 

Reggie stared at his best friend, "What?"

"You were right, Reggie. I didn't appreciate what you could bring to the band, and I'm so fucking sorry about that. You have excellent songs even if I'm not a fan of country music." Luke genuinely informed his best friend with his hands clasping his, "I want you. Both you and Alex to have a bigger role because we started this band together. We all share responsibility."

"So for now. Alex and I finished one of the songs you had written. I was wondering if you'd like to make it a duet? Release it as a single with a full writing credit."

Reggie absolutely beamed in response to your question. He was in the recording booth beside you in mere seconds.

For the week the band stayed on your uncle's ranch, Reggie was in the studio with you going over the song. It is a song you released as the leading single for your upcoming studio album with Reggie and cemented his career. It wasn't the last time you did a song with Reggie. In fact, he set himself up as a sought after country songwriter.

"Holy shit!" Luke shouted as soon as Reggie told him the success of one of the songs had brought interest to Julie and the Phantoms, "I could kiss you! I'll never doubt your skills!"

Reggie and Luke's fractured friendship healed with the promise of a yearly visit to the ranch in Nashville. Plus, Reggie impressed Luke and Alex with the banjo riff in a country song the band released on their third studio album featured by you. Reggie would always be thankful he had the chance to record ‘Lay Here With Me’ with you.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED! I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ON THE LIST VIA POST COMMENTS!)

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[dj-of-the-coven]

You know what I think is really frustrating about online lesbian spaces? There are two things that I immediately notice no matter which age group of lesbians (or sapphics) I interact with:

- Half of them go through women like napkins and use sex as their focal point of being (this is fine; I’m not making this comment derogatorily)

- Half of them want NOTHING to do with sex or sexual desire. Having sexual thoughts or feelings is considered gross and will get you ostracized for “feeding into the predatory lesbians trope”

Now I find both of these mentalities to be fascinating, mostly because I am a sex-repulsed ace demiromantic lesbian. Purity culture online is at an all-time high for some reason, and rightfully, I’ve been seeing many callout posts or positivity posts detailing how attraction and sexual desire is not something to be ashamed of and that not all lesbians can be your cottagecore bread-making sapphic fantasy. I do think this needs to be said. Even though I personally can’t relate to sexual desire, it should not be considered disgusting to have desire for women. However, I feel like these discussions leave ace lesbians out of the picture in a major way.

Purity culture does not help ace lesbians at all. What I’ve noticed from talking to many “sex purists” both online and irl is that they don’t actually hate the concept of desire for women. They just think it should be repressed, resented, and kept under wraps. They hate that the desire they associate with creepy guys on trains and in bars exists within them--that they may want a woman, and want her carnally. Sexual attraction is something to be hidden behind fans and meaningful glances, flirted with until it’s roaring but never to be acknowledged until unbearable. And when they break down, other purists are there, telling them that their fantasies of other women are predatory, that sexual urges are flaws that they must extinguish in order to be “good” gay people. This leads to a major resentment of ace lesbianism, because we don’t experience the urges that they are repressing. We don’t feel what causes them so much pain, and so they lash out on our communities.

I’ve noticed so many people speaking of ace lesbian couples with disdain. It’s as if the script flips the other way around; suddenly this purity culture aims knives at ace people for being over-represented in media when, in my experience that is simply not true. The pure “asexual” couples that we’ve been seeing in books, shows, music, and comics don’t represent me. Just because these ladies don’t fuck doesn’t mean I see myself in them. After all, aces can and do fuck. They can do it for any reason. A lack of sex does not ace representation make! I rarely see the things that actually define the ace experience to be represented in the mainstream. People in ace relationships have complicated views on attraction, both romantic and sexual, and I never, ever see it being brought up in the so-called “ace” relationships that are taking the lesbian community by storm.

Basically, the way that lesbian communities are structured right now is isolating aces, who don’t see themselves in the sanitized relationships, and toxic for those who experience sexual attraction because they repress themselves so much. We need to acknowledge that this purity does nothing for any of us. Aces are not being helped by representing only the most sexless of sapphics and allos are not being helped by demonizing the natural human urges that occur in most of the population.

Ace lesbians are not your enemy. Purity culture is. Now stop pretending that asexuals are what’s wrong with the lesbian community right now.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

WIP Wednesday

Guess what, guys? IT’S WEDNESDAY! >:D You know what that means~!

TIME TO SHARE!

I’m excited because I finally, finally found the inspiration and motivation to write chapter 13 of my main fic! And I used the good old, ‘And he returned...’ technique! X’D

Time to talk about mages and templars everybody!

“Ma halla,” Cyfrin’s voice came forward, laced with tiredness and unusually serious as his eyes fell upon his sister, “the Chantry has not had control over either side for years. If they had, the Chantry in Kirkwall wouldn't have met the fate that it did.” He picked up the stick they had been using to tend the fire, giving the logs a gentle poke and sending sizzling embers upwards, “Now, it is merely a war of endurance; who can last the longest and who can end it with the most spite, the most damage. Blood will run for many moons as it has for several years now. Except this time, light is being shone on those crimson puddles rather than being mopped up with a," A finger rose to slender lips, a pantomime of silence and secrecy.

Fane sighed, grimacing a bit when Mhairi shifted against his side and watching those embers rise and then blink out of existence. Cyfrin was right. This was a war without end, and each side was merely swinging at whatever happened to move now. Power corrupted, and it had done so in this instance; mages overwhelmed by the taste of air, magic responding with giddy excitement; templars breaking the chains that held their hands and feet in place, as well as their swords. Both had never known what it meant to be free, and now that they had it in aces, they couldn’t cope with it.  All the common folk, them included, could do was wait it out, like a parent waiting for their child, who refused to listen, to settle down. That was all there was to it.

Fane slowly rubbed his palms together, wringing his fingers a bit as he spoke, “Whatever it is now, it doesn’t matter. It’s a mess made for a different rag,” With a tired movement, he let his head roll to the side a bit to rest atop his sister’s, relishing in its silkiness. To think, he had almost abandoned that comfort for fear. He continued with another sigh, “All that matters is staying away from it. It isn’t our fight; it never has been.”

Silence passed between them all after his words had fallen, the crackling of the fire and the drone of crickets and cicadas the only sounds to fill the air. Cyfrin only gave him a nod that said, 'I agree' before going back to idly poking at the fire. However, Fane could feel something like a tense ripple from Mhairi, her body suddenly rigid where it rested against him.

Shit, Fane thought, growling a bit as he recognized this rolling wave exuding off Mhairi. He should have kept his mouth shut.

A few more moments of silence passed before the words he had been dreadfully waiting for passed lips gingerly being bitten into.

"Is it really not our fight, though?," Mhairi asked in a sheepish whisper. Fane watched from over his nose as delicate hands appeared from under fur and cotton, pink with Fereldan chill and palms up, "Or at least, my fight? I mean, I'm a mage, so really--"

"Mhairi," Fane cut off his sister's words, voice dropping low in warning, "Whatever's going through your head right now, end it."

Fane caught the flicker of amber from across the way, their owner knowing where this was going as much as he did, but he was more focused on ice as it hardened before him. He was not going to entertain this ridiculous train of thought! Was his sister mad!?

"But, brother--!"

"Enough," Fane snapped with a harshness he rarely used with her, "Do you want a templar on your heels!? Do you want to be silenced again!?"

Nostrils flared as he brandished a glare downwards, but his irritation cooled as Mhairi's icy gaze melted and turned downwards, guilt and pain in turquoise. Fane frowned deeply at that. Shit, he hadn't meant to…! Damn it all! This was why he should have left on his own! All he did was pull down, down, down! He could never find the right words!

"Of course I don't want those things, brother. You know that," Mhairi said with tightness, voice like a taut cord before letting out a tiny sigh, down-turned eyes staring pointedly at her hands--the tools for which another tool could be wielded in, "It just...feels wrong to turn away and let not only the mages and templars suffer, but innocent people, too. The people on farms and in villages didn't ask to be involved, but they are." A gentle blue glow enshrouded slender fingers and smooth palms, making Fane's nose twitch in irritation and his stomach roll uncomfortably, but he watched it same as her, "I guess I just want to help them, to show them that it doesn't have to end in flames. Magic is beautiful, and it hurts to know no one but the Dalish recognize that."

Fane listened, rapt and attentive even though he knew his face showed otherwise. Mhairi had vocalized these thoughts before to him, and while he understood where she was coming from, that still didn't mean this was their fight. What was there to gain from throwing themselves into the pan? Nothing but an early grave, that's what. Or worse yet, tranquility. The very idea of that happening to his sister made him sick. How such a practice came to be was beyond him, and yet, it made his mind prickle and pull with those odd feelings of ‘wrongness’. Obviously, stripping a person of their emotions was vile and grotesque and disgusting, but it felt like something more to him. It always felt like more with so little.

Fane let out a long sigh through his nose at himself and his sister, the air condensing in front of him, "It's not your job to present that to the world, Mhairi." He shifted a bit, the fur lining of his cloak brushing against the bottom of his cheeks as he did so. He was starting to get warm, uncomfortably warm.

"Isn't it?," his sister forwarded, pressed, pushed, sparkling eyes slowly rolling upwards to look at him; the glow of her hands fading away to let firelight take center stage again, "I’m a--”

Fane growled, his chest rattling from the depth of it. “Yes, you’re a mage, My, but that’s more likely to get you killed, or worse, made tranquil than understood,” He met her slowly narrowing gaze unflinchingly before sighing tiredly, shoulders slumping and voice softening at the look of hurt in icy blue, “Listen: stop chasing after trouble. No good can come from involving yourself in this mess,” His tired eyes shifted to the fire once more, watching it dance and consume both air and forest wood, “This continent is engulfed in war, and it’s not your job to fix the mistakes of others just because of what you are. That type of blind thinking is exactly why all that’s happened, happened.”

He felt his fists ball up against where his hands were resting between his thighs from anxiety and frustration, the skin along his arms pinching to where he could finally feel his scars start to act up. Great. Just what he needed alongside all this ridiculousness. Why did his sister always have to play this card? Yes, she was a mage, but there were a thousand more who could, but wouldn’t do what his sister wished to. And why? Because they knew it was pointless as narrow perspectives were set in the stone of ages.

Time and time again mages had tried and failed to show the world the intended use for magic. Time and time again restrictions were set ever tighter because of those harmless displays, the Chantry crying, ‘Demon, demon! Blood magic, blood magic!’, and a single, single show of defense against such accusations was treated as a literal felony. Now, the Fade touched were doing the only thing they could think to do after so many disappointments; fight. A caged animal was bound to break the door holding it back, and that was exactly what had happened to every Circle; they broke.

They went silent, voices stolen straight from their throats, emotions ripped away so as to be unable to defend themselves any longer, and the beauty his sister desperately wished to show no longer relevant as it had no place in war, in a world where beauty was a stranger. Fane didn’t have much allegiance to either side, both were foolish and pathetic and tiring, and despite his personal experience with magic, he didn’t detest it. It had its uses, just not on him and that was because he didn’t relish getting uncontrollably ill. He was open minded enough to know magic hadn’t been the true culprit, it had only been like the innocents in this pointless war; used against its will. It had been the blade that carved the stone of his body, but it hadn’t been the hand to wield it.

So, he would admit he felt sorry for the endlessly warring factions, even the templars despite his personal feelings regarding them. To be played like a fiddle by a bunch of tottering zealots, zealots that used ‘faith’ as their bargaining chip to garner influence and power while declaring, ‘It is the Maker’s will’. Sadly, despite how thin the veil of deceit was, the people fell for it like raindrops during a heavy downpour, fast and hard. Was it the humans’ ‘god’s’ will to rip away independent thought? To sunder the minds of those who broke the leash long having held them back?

To indiscriminately kill another on the basis of ‘you’re a mage’ or ‘you’re a templar’ or ‘you’re a threat to our power’? Apparently so. Tragic, but there was nothing to be done about it now and Mhairi needed to understand that.

She needed to understand there was no ‘beauty’ in war.

Mhairi let out a disgruntled huff before her form shifted away from him to sit up. Fane squeezed his already tight fists tighter, the leather of his gloves creaking from the force as he watched his sister rise up from the log, her action calm, but her eyes and face held frustration in delicate edges and firelit ice. He felt his expression go hard as he sat up straight, silently mourning the loss of momentary comfort. Again, he should have kept his mouth shut. Why did he even try using words?

“I think I can see perfectly well, brother. I saw the corpses mutilated beyond recognition, the burnt buildings and the sacked ones, the people crying over what they lost, children wailing as their parents wouldn’t wake up. I saw,” Mhairi said, lilt strained and lips twitching with the urge to bend downwards as a forlorn mutter came after, “I wish you would stop treating me like I don’t, like a child.”

With that, Fane watched his sister quickly stride away towards where they had pitched tents, darkened cloak fluttering behind her and kicking up the dusting of snow with her partially bare feet. It was only when Mhairi completely disappeared from his sight, safely burrowing into her tent, did he let out a sigh, the exhalation hard and long.

“Damn it all,” Fane cursed out under his breath, bringing hand out and up from his cloak to rub at his face. He felt ten years older all of a sudden. Scratch that, a thousand years older. How much older could he potentially feel at this rate?

“Tactful as always, ma falon.”

----

Fane can be incredibly harsh, and a downright jerk sometimes. He doesn’t mince words or give platitudes. He says it how he sees it. 

Tagging: @noire-pandora @oxygenforthewicked @varric-tethras-editor @dreadfutures @the-dreadful-canine @drag-on-age @a-drama-addict @little-lightning-lavellan @whataboutbugs @blueheaded @aymayzing @rosella-writes @1000generations and anyone else that’d like to share! (no pressure! <3)

[capri-ramblings]

Heyyyy! Can I request some jealousy headcanons for Azul, Leona, Vol and Riddle with a fem reader? Thanks a lot:)

I'm so sorry this took so damn long and it's not even as good as I wanted it to be (´;︵;`) The new batch of kittens I have are sick so I have to make more time for them and lately the plants I planted wilted out and so many of you sent such amazing asks and I just really hope I can finish them all and not disappoint any of you༎ຶ‿༎ຶ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ im sorry for rambling abshwkwkhbsnw here's your Jealous dorm leaders ♥️

Riddle Rosehearts

- Personally,I feel that Riddle would be one of the easiest to get jealous

- Despite how snobbish he is, he wants to be acknowledged by the people around him and have them see his best intentions

- If Riddle were to have a crush on MC then, by all means,this applies to her as well, and that factor alone would make him even more sensitive.

- Cue the pursing lips and furrowed brows when Riddle gets jealous and he'll often let his emotions get the better of him, so expect a handful of these moments

- A jealous Riddle would also mean a moody dorm leader who gets set off by the smallest of mistakes and disorder. His habit of being strict with rules will gradually come back but when Trey points this out, he'll try to not let it get to him.

- He won't say he's jealous though, that's a given fact, you can bet your nonexistent hat that he won't even know he's jealous

- He'll just sit in his room and have this frustration well up inside of him and then he replays all those moments he lost his temper and he just has this thought;

- "What does she think of me when I'm in that state?"

- Fear? Disgust? Hatred?

- He cringes at all those possibilities

- Riddle starts doubting the fondness you have for him, simply because after many self contemplations, he concludes that you're only with him because you pity him. The boy who's mother raised him like a taut wire about to snap

- He starts to think your softness towards him is because you saw him as fragile and unreliable

- From here, Riddle's jealousy shifts into a longing type of jealousy,the kind that has him looking at MC as if she would disappear at any given time.

- He still won't say anything but the little remarks he makes are an obvious sign

- "Riddle,look at Kalim fly! He's so good at it!"

- "Hm? I guess to someone who can't fly on her own he is impressive but flying takes more than just a carefree attitude. You need proper magic endurance. Plus, he's not the only one who can fly well, you know."

- "Well, yeah, but I've only seen Kalim fly on a carpet"

- The way he clenches his jaw makes him look stern and strict as usual,but the urge to just yell "I can fly on a stupid carpet too" was a strong force for Riddle to fight back.

- He starts getting slightly touchy

- Grabbing your arm and pulling you close to him whenever you're not listening to him

- He makes sure he's always at your side so if you were looking at someone else he would see them too

- He gets protective too, repeatedly reminding Ace and Deuce to not get you into so many trouble

- He even starts telling off Crowley for making you do errands around the school

- If you confront him about it though, he gets all defensive and denies it

- Feeling weak is something Riddle hates, and he especially doesn't want you to see him that way as well

- All in all, Jealous Riddles is harmless. He acts more like a moody child rather than anything

- A little bit more attention put into him and a hint of physical affection is an instant remedy for this red haired Emperor

Vil Schoenheit

- A Jealous Vil,huh?

- Well then,cue the dramatic script.

- Vil would whisk MC away before confronting her about his feelings and that means more time spent with him and his circle under his watchful eye

- He's possessive,of course he is, but he's also extremely clingy and expressive.

- "Mein lieb,stay closer to me here"

- "Why?"

- "Cause I've missed you of course!"

- "Vil...We just passed each other five minutes ago"

- When he successfully conquers your social space,be sure to see yourself enamored by the male as if you were some kind of princess he was courting

- Vil's jealousy is a competitive one, and he'll do anything to make it apparent that he wants you to himself

- He puts your hair in a similar style to his, shares his makeup and even goes as far as to apply it on you himself

- Vil will also give you a perfume with a similar scent as his

- "She's mine" Is what screams in Vil's expression of jealousy and if no one noticed it, it's probably just you.

- Once you do notice and confront him though, everything shifts and Vil makes sure you understand to never ever make him feel so little again

- "You'll have to devote yourself to me now,mein lieb or else I won't ever be cured from this sickness"

- A jealous Vil is a Vil who will stop at nothing to win his S/O's affection

- You'll have your hands full with him, but at least your life won't be so dull

Leona Kingscholar

- Ever heard of biting?

- Yeah,he does it a lot

- Especially when he's jealous

- A jealous Leona would mean a Leona who actually feels threatened of his position as your partner

- So it's safe to say it doesn't easily occur

- But when it does, his way of expressing it resembles that of a wild beast.

- He'll mark you and make sure it's visible to the opposing threat and he'll be the most frustrating male you'll ever have to handle

- Things like "You know I won't cheat on you" or "You have to trust me" won't really work on him, nor would any other type of plea will

- It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's just his predatory instincts telling him to fight for his territory, nothing personal

- But it will feel like it, so the smartest thing to do is play along and try to not get him into a bad mood

- He might get a bit degrading and condescend you from time to time whenever you talk back to him about his behaviour but know that it's just a frustrated lion throwing a fit, and if he ever does hurt you, Leona has his way of mending that wound, a very intimate way to be precise.

Azul Ashengrotto

- Azul is the easiest and yet not so easy to get jealous

- It's confusing,I know

- But, compared to most of the students at NRC he is one of the best and outstanding one, and so before you think just anyone could trigger his jealousy,think again.

- Most of the boys there are probably under his contract too, so rest assured one of the rules of breaching the contract includes trying to woo a certain girl's heart

- But then, he sees you acting all so comfortably with Riddle and Malleus, and he starts to think; "But what about them?"

- He can't sign either one of them into his schemes, nor could he actually compare to their magical affinity.

- So, what if you ran to them? It was possible wasn't it?

- Azul's Jealousy is the epitomy of Envy itself really. The way it twists his personality and composure, and the way the feeling toys with his thoughts like a sickening instrument.

- One of the slightly damaging Jealous type, Azul doesn't hesitate to let his dissatisfaction with your relationship show.

- He'll have Jade and Floyd tail you almost everywhere and he'll make sure you tell him who you've been with, although he will do so subtly, since he knew if you got too irritated you'd do something that would edge him on even further

- Do not try to provoke him in this state

- There would be two outcomes if you did

- "I just want to be enough for you. Can't you see that?"

- "You're making me very unhappy, seashell"

- And this is purely dependant on how you handle the situation when it gets to a certain stage

- Overall though,Azul would probably cling to you and put in small remarks about how you spend your time so freely without actually having plans

- He'd suggest you start doing part time at Mostro Lounge and have you act as his PA

- A trick to appease this Mer-male?

- Kiss him when he doesn't expect it, and when your eyes catches his,smile. Genuine yet surprising affection makes his heart soft

[bestintheparsec]

The Same Coin - Prologue

Javier Peña x F!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You and Javier Peña are begrudging coworkers—nothing more, nothing less. Two people with a job to do but very different ideas on how to get it done. Much to your dismay, things never go according to plan; not when it comes to Escobar, or anything else.

A/N: Soo I’ve been working on something in secret😌 This tiny idea has been on my mind for months now, and I finally had the time to sit down and think about writing it. This is going to be a short series. I wanted something soft & angsty without getting too deep into the plot of the show—of course, this is me, so my ideas got a little deeper than I planned. But I hope you like it! Special love & thanks to @hiscyarika​, whom I have bugged relentlessly and, though she’ll deny it, I would not have been able to write this without her❤️ Thank you for reading, and as always, feedback is welcome! 

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of blood 

You are not fond of Javier Peña.

It’s not so much dislike, or even distaste, really—but more of a...mutual disagreement on how things ought to be done. Not that either of you claimed to stand on any moral high ground, but you tended to keep things as clean as possible. Peña, meanwhile, had his methods. 

This is all more evident as you listen to the incessant sound of the phone that’s been ringing while he’s clicking away at his typewriter, taking his time before finally picking it up.

“Peña,” he answers, putting out his cigarette. He listens for a second before looking up, giving you a nod as he jots something down.

When he hangs up, he finishes typing before slipping the note into his pocket.

“We've got a lead,” he says hurriedly. He tosses his paperwork aside, opening the drawer for his gun and gesturing for you to do the same.

“Are you going to run it by the ambassador first?” you ask, though you already know the answer. You lean back in your chair with no intention of getting up. He always does things his way, regardless of what anyone tells him. You’ve worked with him long enough—a year? Longer? No one has the energy to keep track of these things. But it’s been long enough for the two of you to know exactly how to grind each other’s gears.

“I'd rather keep this one discreet,” he remarks, raising his brows with an unspoken Just go with it.

You glare up at him, unamused. “Peña, you're already walking on thin ice around here. You want me to put my ass on the line, too?”

He clenches his jaw and impatiently rests his hand on the desk, leaning towards you. He's got frustration in his eyes that probably matches your own. 

“All I'm asking is that you help us get just one bit of useful information to work with,” he whispers. You can hear the annoyance in the stain of his voice. “We're chasing our fucking tails with how they're doing things here—even Escobar knows that. Don't you get tired of following the damn rules all the time?”

“Why can't you get Steve to go with you?,” you counter. You cross your arms and bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to let your own irritation show too much.  “I think he'd be much better company for you,” you shrug.

Unfortunately for Steve—who was more of a friend than coworker to both of you—he could never pick a side. He was fine with it, though, always finding a bit of amusement in letting you two bicker.

“Sorry to disappoint, but they assigned Murphy to go with Trujillo today,” Peña answers impatiently. "You really think I'd ask you if I didn't need to?" He straightens, putting a hand on his waist and leaning to the side in that goddamn arrogant stance he always has.

You let out an irritated sigh, shaking your head but pulling your own drawer open anyways. Stowing the gun behind your back, you stand and follow him out.

“Don't worry. If we get caught you can pin it all on me,” he jeers. You shake your head, knowing he's patronizing you.

You’re met by the usual hot air and humidity as you step outside, walking towards his Jeep. Heat waves radiate off the ground, prompting you to roll up your sleeves and wish you’d dressed lighter today.

“This better be worth it,” you mutter as you hop into the passenger seat and shut the door.

“It’s better than doing all that paperwork and you know it,” he retorts, though his tone is calmer now. He’s always content whenever he convinces you to get in on his schemes.

You decide it’s not worth arguing over anymore and drop the subject. He turns on the AC and slips on his aviators before pulling out of the parking lot.

You’ve been driving for a while, listening to nothing but the sounds of street traffic, when you realize you’re in an area of the city you’re not familiar with. You’ve never seen these buildings before. Even the street signs look different, with names you’ve never heard of.

“Who’s the informant this time?” you ask, breaking the silence. You continue to watch the unfamiliar businesses and buildings pass your window.

“Classified,” he answers curtly, to which you roll your eyes. He keeps his eyes on the road.

“Right. How much can we trust this information?” you reply. 

“We can trust them,” is all he gives you.

You sigh and turn to him. “Look, Peña, I’m glad you have your code for your sources, but if you’re gonna drag me along on this stuff, I’d like to be more informed.”

“And I’m telling you that all we’re doing is staking out this address. Quica and his guys are supposed to be meeting there, and if we can figure out who they’re talking to we may be able to find a link to one of Escobar’s informants.”

Silence falls over both of you again and you look out the window, observing as people go about their lives.

You exhale quietly. Sometimes you ask yourself how you both managed to remain civil with each other. Work is work, and you have the same goal, after all. But it’s surprising just how many eggshells you’ve avoided walking over with him.

“Sometimes you have to do bad things to catch bad people,” he’d said to you once. You can hear the words in your head sometimes. You’re never sure if it’s a reminder or a reassurance.

Peña’s not an asshole, not in the way the CIA thinks he is. But you often wonder how you’d gotten paired up with him despite how differently you work. There’s already so much chaos here; you would prefer not to feed the flames if you had the choice. Peña seems to see the chaos as all the more reason to do everything in his power to put an end to Escobar. He’s got many...sources of information that he’s willing to use. You never ask where he makes these connections, and you don’t know whose methods are better, but you’ve never liked being fire to gasoline. 

When you make it to your destination—a small, quiet neighborhood—he puts the car on idle and points out the alleged location; it's a typical, innocent-looking flat, covered by some shade. Neither of you have anything to add, so it’s quiet again except for the sounds of people on the sidewalks. Some of them are sweeping their front steps or watering their plants, chatting quietly with their neighbors.

You both sit and wait for long enough that you start to question whether anyone was coming in the first place. You unbuckle your seatbelt and take a swig from your water bottle, resting your elbow on the window. You tap your foot on the floor of the car, which draws his attention.

Javier Peña is not fond of you. 

He glances at you for a split second behind his sunglasses. You only look mildly annoyed as you watch your surroundings. You’ve got one hand wrapped around the other, unconsciously massaging your fingers; a nervous tic you have, one he knows of because of how often you’re on these sporadic missions with him. He chuckles quietly without humor, wishing you’d be willing to bend the rules more. Between himself, you, and Murphy, there seems to be this spectrum of gray hues. This, he’s able to accept. But with new management and all eyes on the three of you now, it’s more important than ever for you to be on the same page. Someday you might see eye-to-eye with him. For now, you always do your part and he does his—getting the job done is all that matters, anyways. Whether you need to drown things out with a glass of whiskey or not, isn’t his concern.

Another twenty minutes go by when a car finally pulls up to the flat, and three guys get out. Peña sits up straighter. You stare in disgust when you realize one of them is, in fact, La Quica. You can’t help but feel relieved though; at least the informant was right. You ponder how far this information could move your case forward, watching as the sicarios laugh and walk towards the door of the flat. They smile as though they’ve never watched blood spill by their own hands.

Pendejos, you think when you see how nonchalant they seem to be. 

Until one of them looks towards the Jeep—and meets your eyes. Shit.

The guy turns and says something to the others, nodding in your direction. Did they recognize this car? You bite the inside of your cheek and your pulse picks up a bit. 

“Peña,” you whisper through closed teeth. 

You barely turn your head to look at him, but his eyes are locked on La Quica. You start to suggest driving away, but don’t get the chance to finish. A shot rings out and a bullet shatters the windshield as you both cover yourselves from the flying glass. It misses both of you, but when you turn back towards them, they’re all running. One of them shoots a few more times towards you as he runs.

“Fuck!” Peña hisses, cocking his gun as he opens the car door and runs after them. Not even a second passes before you get out and follow in pursuit, swearing under your breath.

You’re not far behind Peña when you run past the entrance of their meeting spot—a movement catches your eye, and you see another sicario, who takes off in the opposite direction. You turn on your heels and follow alone, firing a few times at him. He’s faster. The Colombian heat beats down on you as you chase him through the streets and narrow alleyways. He shoots at and misses you. You’ve almost caught up to him when he pushes a bystander off their motorcycle, driving away and leaving you in the dust.

“Damn it,” you mutter to yourself, catching your breath. More shots ring out in the background, and you take another deep breath before running back in Peña’s direction.

The streets are cleared of people now, and you have no idea where the other sicarios went. You follow the sound of another gunshot, turning a sharp corner when someone slams, hard, into your body. You let out a grunt and swear again before realizing it’s Peña, who steadies you before hunching over, panting.

“They got away,” you state; it’s not a question. He nods.

You don’t know where you are anymore and tuck your gun away as you look around. “Let’s go find the car—” you start, taking a step forward when he grabs your wrist. 

You turn to him questioningly, and he’s still panting when you notice he’s got his hand over his thigh. Your eyes widen when you see the blood that’s pooling around the hole in his jeans. He’s been shot. And he didn’t even care to immediately point it out, you mentally roll your eyes.

“Fuck, Peña—” you reach out, and he tries to take a step forward.

Before you can stop him, his legs give out and he collapses onto you.

~

Translations: 

Pendejos = assholes

~

Series tags: please let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

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[caxsthetic]

With Time

Kageyama Tobio x F!Reader

Summary: Ever since the two of you know each other in high school, both of you always on each other’s throat. But when some circumstances make you stuck with him in Italy, can you settle things down?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. STUCK WITH YOU MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When he lived in Italy to maintain his dream, never once crossed his mind that someone from the past would slide into his life all of a sudden. No, it's not like he was happy over this whole situation, it was the exact opposite of it actually.

To say that Hinata Shouyou was bearable in his eyes—yes, maybe. At least when compared to you, he would choose the orange-haired man any goddamn time. Yet you really had to show up in his apartment, uninvited (well your brother has told him about it, but it was five minutes before your arrival so that doesn't count).

"I am so sorry, Kageyama!" The second he picked up the phone, your brother's voice attacked his hearing. He didn't want to jinx it, but somehow he had bad feelings about it.

"What is it now?" He leaned himself on the kitchen counter as he listened to the phone call. Did he just cook? No, of course not. He just brewed some coffee that fortunately ended up in success.

"Do you remember (Y/n)?" Your brother asked timidly, knowing the fact that you and the setter never seen eye to eye, "She's my sister, my lovely little sister that become our manager when—"

"Tch, I know. I remember." Dread, it was there on your brother's mind the second Kageyama clicked his tongue, "What is it? Just tell me." He sipped the coffee that he made before, and almost burst it out because of the bitter taste. How the fuck people could drink this?

"Well, so, she was in Italy right now. The same city as yours…" Kageyama hummed a little, telling the man on the other line to continue, "Her flight was delayed and her company could only find the flight next week…" The setter grabbed some sugar and milk as he listened, "So I told her to stay with you…"

The black-haired man was currently pouring some milk on his coffee when your brother finished the sentence, resulting in him accidentally spilling his milk to the kitchen islands.

"MY MILK!" He groaned, searching for a napkin as he sobbed at the sight. It was not because his kitchen became a mess now. It was the fact he just wasted a lot of fresh milk that his club teammates bought him, "You, boke! You just made me spilt my milk!"

"I AM SORRY, KAGEYAMA!" Your brother shrieked, feeling like the second they faced each other, the setter would toss a ball right on his face (that's actually a lot better than him picking a jump serve though).

"Hinata, you know (Y/n) and I always want to strangle each other." He let out a sigh, didn't know what his nationals teammates were thinking over this.

"But Kageyama! She was just a little girl! What if something happened to her?" Something that both of them knew was how independent you are, so he understood that the reason your brother asked him to let you stay in his house— the worry of a big brother, "I know she could take care of herself. But she was all alone… I couldn't bear the thought of her—"

"Just shut up," Kageyama recognized what the orange-haired man was trying to do. Guilt-tripping him until he said okay, "I will let her stay, you don't have to mope around like this." He could imagine the stars inside your brother's eyes at this moment, "Tell me when she would be here."

Then it was silence. There was no sound at all from the other line. This made him nervous. He wanted to ask the orange-haired man about the sudden hush. But before he could part his lips to speak, the intercom of his apartment beeps.

And now he knew why Hinata Shouyou, your brother, didn't dare to say a word.

"I am going to do a service ace on your face."

"NO! I AM SORRY, I AM SO SORRY!"

»»————-　♔　————-««

He woke up that day due to an unfamiliar noise. His ears caught the sound of the sizzling fare on top of the pan—just because he didn't know how to cook well doesn't mean he wouldn't recognize the sound of food being cooked.

It was strange, to know that someone was there with him in the usually quiet apartment. Since you came uninvited two days ago, your presence was a little bit illogical for him. When he saw you in front of the door, he expected you to be feral and gave some snarky comments to him.

But no, you actually bowed a little like you have some real manners, unlike when he first met you. Maybe adulthood taught you the right thing after all. You look way more mature since the last time he saw you. Your hair trimmed neatly, and your face adorned with light makeup.

However, he felt odd. When your brother told him you would stay in his place for maybe a week, he expected some ruckus, unnecessary banter, and non-stop bickering. But the way you acted right now was a total contrast of it, and it just didn't sit right on his mind.

"What are you cooking there?" He sat up from the couch where he slept since you arrived. Yes, he gave up his bed for you (because from what he found on the internet, man needs to have consent), "Toast?"

You hummed as you still focused on the task in front of you, making sure that the sliced bread didn't get overcooked. You were actually surprised that he knew what's inside the pan right now, making a little smile emerge on your face.

Once done, you put the french toast on the plates, right beside a pile of cookies. The silence really started to get him as it was always like this for the past two days. You never once meet his gaze and only talk to him to ask for some permission around the apartment.

He sat down on the breakfast stool, deep blue orbs scanning the kitchen islands in front of him. A smile tugged on his lips as he saw a glass of fresh milk. He didn't notice that a pair of eyes glanced towards him, trying to hold back a laugh as his eyes sparkled with excitement.

Though, your physique really had to betray you as the chuckle slipped from your lips.

He whipped his head towards you, didn't realise as his smile became so much wider than before. At the moment he felt so uneasy. You used to be so annoying in his eyes at the level where he just wanted to toss a volleyball to your head. Maybe if he didn't respect your brother, he might have done that beforehand.

But right now when you were right in front of him, chuckling at his kitchen, it sounded like music to his ear. There's nothing beautiful with your laugh, that's for sure. Yet it brought him back to the moment that he missed the most; high school time—when becoming a king on the court didn't sound that wrong.

You stopped yourself from laughing and hid your mouth with the back of your hand, trying to avert his gaze— that from your eyes, was a little bit intimidating. He pursed his lips, noticing how you seem so uptight now.

"Did something happen to you?" Kageyama was at his limit already, curiosity and frustration crept at the back of his mind, "You are awfully quiet."

His words make you pout. You didn't answer him and just played around with the french toast, popping it inside your mouth after a while. His gaze never left your face, and you could feel it burn.

It wasn't like you hate him or something. But for real when your brother told you to stay at his friend's place, you didn't believe that you would see him. Kageyama Tobio, the best setter in Japan at the moment. Kageyama Tobio, your high school crush (that apparently was more than that).

At first, you thought that you didn't have any feelings toward the setter. Believing that he was just a meanie to your brother. But it was all changed when you always saw him on every volleyball video that you saw—even long after you graduated.

"I thought after all this time you knew that you have a crush on him." You remember every word that your senpai said, "But I guess if you still couldn't get him off from your head… maybe it was more than that."

"I just have a lot in mind right now." You finally speak up, trying to calm down your heart that currently beats like you just ran on a marathon without a rest, "I am sorry, Kageya-"

"Tobio," He swallowed a huge lump as his gaze never once faltered, "I want you to call me Tobio from now on."

You swore you almost gasped when he allowed you to call him by his first name. Is it a sign? If you were still in high school right now, maybe you would squeal, or maybe you even become a stuttering mess. But you were all grown up now, that wouldn't happen. Or so you thought,

"Alright, T-Tobio."

While you want to curse yourself by stuttering out his name like that. Him on the other hand, he wondered about the foreign feelings that suddenly appeared in his heart. No, that wouldn't be possible. Kageyama Tobio didn't have any feelings towards his teammate's sister. At least that's what he wanted to believe.

»»————-　♔　————-««

He was sure that he didn't feel anything towards you. You were just like a little sister to him, someone that he needed to protect. Denial, denial, denial. You were Hinata (Y/n), someone that he can't stand at all when the two of you in high school. Someone that four days ago, he was sure he didn't want to stand on his way.

But he could feel his blood boiled when he saw the uncomfortable look in your eyes as his teammate wrapped his arm around your neck,

"Come on, don't be shy~" The reeking of alcohol could be scented even from where he stood, "How about you stay with me instead? Promise I could be a better mate, if you catch my drift."

Kageyama watched as the scene unfolded in front of him, disgust was written all over his face. He didn't move at all, knowing that you could handle things on your own. He recalled how you even whacked Miya Atsumu's nose when they were in second year, all because the Inarizaki setter said that some supporters from Karasuno were annoying.

But then in the split moment passed, there was something new in your eyes as you gazed towards him. Fear.

It was like his whole body driven by a demonic entity when he suddenly appeared right in front of you. He swatted the hand away from your shoulder, and before you could move an inch, he pulled you towards him, flushing you on his embrace.

"If I know you are here only to disrespect my partner, I wouldn't let you come inside at all." Your mind was gray as you tried to proceed with whatever was happening right now. The fear from before, how your figure touched his warm body, the masculine scent of his cologne, or the words that he said.

It was all too much to wrap your head around that you didn't even realise how his teammate was now out of his apartment. Once the door closed, you immediately looked upon him, and right now as you scrutinized the details on his face, you were sure that the feelings you had towards him were more than just a crush.

"T-Thank—"

"Are you stupid?!"

He pulled himself away from you, eyes blazing with fire as his gaze scanned your face. He didn't know himself why he acted like this. Maybe because he felt so stupid for not acting faster, or that something could happen to you. He should have known to not let his drunk teammate shelter in his apartment, knowing that you were there.

"Why didn't you push him away?! Why are you just standing there waiting for me to rescue you?!" If this was how you acted around people that harassed you, it would drive him crazy. Because he knew that he couldn't always be there for you.

You were no one before you stood in front of his apartment, so why would he care for you now?

"I could handle that by myself, thank you!" No, you can't. If only it was just a total stranger you would push them away and maybe crack some of their bones. But that man was not a stranger, at least not for him.

"So why did you just stand there and do nothing?! You are seriously letting him touch you like—"

"Because I am afraid that I hurt him or something!" You snapped, didn't want to be criticized like this, "You are going to have a match next week! What if I ended up injuring him?! What if he was the star player?! It would affect your whole team and I never—never want to be a burden for you!"

Then once again the room filled with silence. But it's not like the soothing one that you two shared at breakfast, it was not the peaceful silence like the two of you had every time you watch some movies together. No, this moment suffocated you.

This was the exact scenario that usually happened in high school. Both of you raised your voices until the upperclassmen intervened in the never-ending bicker. He would always end up scoffing, and you would turn your back on him. You thought that maybe the two of you could settle things down under these weird circumstances. But maybe it's just you trying to get your hopes up.

"Sometimes boke is more suitable for you than for your brother, you know that?" He snickered a little. Kageyama Tobio just snicker in front of you, and you couldn't help but gape there like a fish.

How could he refrain his feelings now? Knowing that you are so caring for him to the extent that you even think about his well-being when you were in danger. From all the reasons behind your fear, it had to be something that involves him.

He could feel his heart skipped faster when he heard the reasoning behind your dumb action. It was the exact feeling that he got when your brother told him it was alright to be a king. It was the feeling of assurance, the unfamiliar suspicions of being cared for. Maybe, maybe it was the awareness of being loved. Though he doubted it was a romantic one—at least that what he knew now.

He couldn't help himself to walk towards you, extending his hand to touch yours. His eyes flickered for a second into your face, searching for a sign that made you feel apprehensive. But there was nothing unpleasant inside your eyes, and that only was enough for him to keep going.

There was some kind of electricity when his finger made contact with your hand. All these years, he had pushed a lot of people from his life. Some stay, some not, and right now he really wanted you to be the one who stayed. He was careful, afraid that if he was too straightforward about it, you will pull away.

But then you interlaced your hand with his, like a magnet that has been calling for her to be bound. His breath hitched, not sure about the next step that he should take. He knew nothing about these unknown feelings, and he wasn't sure if your hand interlaced with him was just your generous gesture to reassure him, or was it something more.

"Tobio,"

Shouldn't you be the one who was confused? After all, he was just shouting at you before acting all sentimental all of a sudden. Yet you were not. Instead, you called out his name, his first name that he never thought he would allow you to use.

He was afraid, once again he was afraid. He was supposed to take care of you as you waited for the flight to come home. It was not his intention to catch feelings, but here he was anyway.

The two of you just stood there with one hand laced to each other. No words being spoken as two minds were thinking about the same thing. Both afraid, both didn't know what to do as the realisation came into mind.

But then when his eyes found yours at the same time, one thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to explore these feelings with you. Something that he had confidence in when you gaze at him with that beautiful glim in your eyes, was that maybe, you too, wanted to do the same.

Even the two of you just the same, oblivious people who realised their feelings a little bit too late. But maybe with time, both of you could see that too late would be better than almost.

"Want to cook dinner together?"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶     *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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Reply on the masterlist if you want to get tagged on this project! Have a good day!

[fizzyxcustard]

The Right Thing

Masterlist of all fanfics/headcanons/prompts here

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Pairings: Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, insecurity, age difference (but legal), language (mild)

Word count: 6505 (a longer one)

Summary: You are a Lieutenant aboard the seaQuest DSV vessel, under Captain Oliver Hudson. You have been aboard for two years and in that time have grown very close to Lucas Wolenczak. But not only are you of higher rank, you are ten years his senior (he’s 20). As your feelings deepen and Lucas opens up to you about how he feels, your anxiety rises. Will everyone be judgemental of you for loving a younger man? Others aboard the boat, and shore leave, help you to see how right you and Lucas are for each other.

Comments: If you have any questions regarding this fic and the fandom, by all means message me. I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback. I will probably try and make graphics for my fics in future if people are interested in reading more of this as I have a full length fic in the works and a prequel one-shot as well. If you would like to be added to my tag list for anything seaQuest related, please leave me a message or comment. The above image shows Captain Oliver Hudson (left) and Ensign Lucas Wolenczak (right) from the show. 

Never before had you felt this awkward, torn and utterly disgusted with yourself. Whenever you sat beside Lucas on the bridge, you could feel his stare now and again as he turned his mesmerising blue eyes from the helm monitor. True, you had always had a very deep friendship with Lucas, who was now an Ensign and seemed to be on duty with you more than any other officer, but the tension was becoming too much. He was two months past twenty and you were the wrong side of thirty. However, most people assumed you to be younger than Lonnie, at twenty-one, but no, the years were against you. In fact, you were the same age as Tim O’Neill.

That day was rather uneventful. Your shift passed by without incident. You laughed with Lucas, Jim Brody and Lonnie in the mess hall. But again, you could sense Lucas’ eyes on you.

Captain Hudson was at a UEO summit meeting, leaving Commander Ford in charge. It was always more laid back and chilled when Jonathan Ford took the helm. No complaints, no shouting, no frustration. Ford had been on seaQuest now since her first tour, along with Lucas and Tim. The rest of the crew, including you, came later. All of you missed Captain Bridger, who had been more than just a Captain, but a friend and a fatherly figure.

“Have you got any plans for shore leave?” Lucas asked you suddenly.

You swallowed hard and turned to face him, pulling your headset from off your head. “Not at the moment, no,” you replied. “You?”

This was all your conversations had become now. Idle chit chat. Whereas when Captain Bridger was still your skipper, you and Lucas would spend time together, laughing at stupid movies, listening to music, taunting Tony Piccolo and simply basking in the things of youth.

Lucas knew there was something very wrong between you both; he could sense it. He didn’t have to be like Wendy Smith, psychic; he could see the cold shoulder that you gave him often. He watched you concentrate on your monitor, staring through the glasses that you always wore when on any computer or when writing. The atmosphere had changed aboard the boat when Captain Bridger left, but surely that wasn’t enough to make you grow cold.

When it was time for shift change, you walked off the bridge with Lucas. Both of you strolled slowly, side by side. “Hey, ummm,” Lucas began, stopping in the corridor. “Can we talk?”

“What about?” you asked.

Lucas sighed at the cold, abrupt edge to your tone. “Us….”

“What do you mean us?”

“No…no. It sounded weird, I know. I’m sorry,” Lucas said, silently grilling himself for sounding stupid. “Things just seem weird. We don’t spend time together like we used to, and I guess I…”

“We’ll talk later. In private,” you told him. Officers were speeding past you, starting and ending the shift rotation. It was too open for such a chat. There was a lot that needed to be said. “I’ll come to your quarters about seven. How’s that?”

“Perfect,” Lucas replied with a smile.

As you parted ways, you felt breath catch in your throat. Your hands shook and tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. You felt something for Lucas and you despised yourself, at just over ten years his senior. You were ashamed of it.

It wasn’t until you ventured from your quarters and down the corridors to Lucas’ shared quarters that you realised just how deep his feelings for you ran. You could distinctly hear his voice as you stopped outside the door, which was slightly ajar. The other person, you assumed, was Tony Piccolo.

“You need to tell her, Lucas,” the second voice came. Sure enough, it was Tony.

You waited outside the door, listening.

“I can’t stop thinking about her, Tony.”

“You’ve said that before with girls.”

“This is different. I barely knew Juliana and Sandra. I’ve spent months with her, and when I am with her, it’s like she’s my age. And she cares. I mean truly cares. Probably because she’s just as alone as I am. But lately she’s grown cold towards me. She won’t speak to me sometimes for almost an entire day. There’s no laughing anymore.”

“It’s pretty hard to laugh around here with Hudson in charge,” Tony replied.

You straightened your back and swallowed hard, bracing yourself and tapped on the door.

A few seconds later and Tony appeared. “I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t mind me,” he said, grinning at you. “Go easy on him.” Tony winked at you. All you could do was grimace and then descend the steps down into the main sleeping area which Lucas and Tony shared.

Lucas looked at you, dressed in jeans, Converse and blouse. How could you be the age you were? You looked twenty-two at most. Everything about you enthralled him; your small and discreet tattoos scattered about your body, your quirky sense of humour, the way you cared for everyone and put them before yourself, the odd looking ornaments you kept on your desk and your taste in rock music. Jim Brody had teased many times how your attitude would be suited with Tony Piccolo. But you needed people who were steady and mature.

Things were silent for a short while as you both stood a couple of feet apart, your hands shoved in pockets. Then you broke the silence and looked at Lucas. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. It’s just…Maybe I’m being arrogant, I don’t know. But I sense that you like me…”

“And does that bother you?” Lucas asked, his hands growing more and more sweaty.

“I’m a lot older than you, Lucas,” you reminded him. “You’ve only just become an adult, and I know you forget my age when we spend time together. I’m still young in my appearance and ways. Maybe I haven’t grown up myself yet.”

“I think you’re amazing,” Lucas said softly. “Why does age have to be an issue? We’re good together; I know that you know that.”

His words made something pour in your stomach and you closed your eyes, trying to shake the feelings away. “Lucas, no. Stop it, please,” you whispered.

“You have feelings for me, too. I know you do. I can see it,” he said, approaching you.

You felt his arm wind around your waist, edging you closer towards him.

“Stop it!” you cried out, pushing him away. “No means no!”

You left his quarters only moments later, leaving Lucas behind to slam his hands down onto his desk. Leaving seaQuest was the only way this would end. Lucas would move on and meet a girl his own age. And you would transfer to another boat, hopefully to ace your officer exams and get promoted to Lieutenant Commander.

That evening was long as you drowned in your own thoughts. How could Lucas be what you needed? Would he be prepared to look towards marriage and children within the next two to five years? You would be rushing him, forcing him to put aside all the years of adventure and experience to build a family. Because that was what you wanted. If you met the right man, then you would gladly take time away from your career. And Lucas seemed to think that man was him.

Around nine, a knock came to your door. Your heart leapt and you gasped, expecting it to be Lucas. But it was Tony. You knew why he was here; it didn’t take a lot for anyone to put two and two together to see the reason for his visit.

You let Tony in and sat back down in your seat. “I know why you’ve come to see me, Tony. Lucas doesn’t see the shame I feel every time I look at him.”

“I wanted to see how you’re doing, too. I know Lucas isn’t always the easiest person to say no to. In that way, he’s still a kid.”

You sighed. “We’re both still kids in a lot of ways. I’m going to put in a request for transfer. It’s the only way to solve this.”

“But you can’t,” Tony exclaimed. “Everyone loves you, you know that. It wouldn’t be the same without you. You bring a bit of life to this place.”

Tony’s words brought a smile to your face. “Thanks. This place feels more like a family than I’ve ever had anywhere else outside of my actual family.”

“Look, if you two really do like each other then nothing should stop you. Some people might think the age gap is weird, but who cares? You’re both single adults.”

You sighed again and reached for your mug of coffee which had started growing cold. “I want to think about marriage and settling down. Does Lucas want that? It’s something that needs to be thought about. I can’t be responsible for slowing him down. He’s still young.”

“And so are you. Man, you’re talkin’ as though you’re fifty. Come on!” Tony said.

You barely slept that night, constantly tossing and turning, thinking of Lucas, whom you doubted was asleep either. The air was warm and stale, and your heart raced, reminding you of the anxiety which you kept hidden. Being a Lieutenant in the Navy meant that you had been aboard vessels under attack, had nearly drowned and been shot in the leg. But it was your indecision and shame that caused you to panic uncontrollably.

Tears poured down your cheeks as you flung your legs out from the covers. You flicked on the table lamp and staggered sleepily to your chair. Writing always calmed you. In a world of discipline, uncertainty and instability, you felt so alone. Friendships were strong between you and the main crew, but you had become the glue holding them together. You listened often to Lonnie deny her budding feelings for Jonathan Ford; Tony Piccolo opened his heart to you about his unconventional family; Lucas relied on you for stability and companionship. Now was the time that you needed someone.

After finishing your journal entry, you ventured out into the corridors, finding the gentle hum of seaQuest to be soothing. In the mess hall, you poured yourself a mug of coffee from the vending machine and took a seat in the back corner of the room.

“I thought I was the only one who had insomnia,” a voice came.

“What? Oh, sorry,” you apologised, raising your head out of your hands to see Jim Brody.

“You okay?” Brody asked, approaching you. He was dressed in his uniform, obviously in the middle of night shift.

“I’ll survive,” you chuckled wryly.

“You don’t sound very convincing, you know?”

There was a sincerity in Brody’s eyes that you had always been drawn to. He never minced his words or failed in keeping his promises.

You sighed deeply and looked at your untouched coffee. “How do you handle it when you like someone but have your reservations?”

“What kind of reservations?”

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell another soul? I’m so ashamed.”

Brody began to look puzzled and slightly nervous. “Umm, okay.”

“Lucas admitted that he has feelings for me, and I know I feel something for him. But the age gap terrifies me, Jim. And you know how sulky he can be when you say no to him.”

Brody smiled and then sighed. “I know you two have always been close, but maybe if you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s something you need to deal with yourself. You’re both adults and it’s down to you both. Don’t try and seek everyone else’s approval.”

“That’s what makes me ashamed: everyone else’s judgement.”

The shame and embarrassment of your admission made you look away and run your shaking hands through your short hair. It made you think back to the day you had your long locks cut off, which was the day before your first tour on seaQuest. It was an almost boyish cut, but there was no mistaking your femininity.”

“It’ll work out, I’m sure. Thanks for listening, Jim,” you said, forcing a smile.

You remained in the mess hall for a short while longer, sipping your coffee. The tall, broad figure of Dagwood drifted past the door as he cleaned. He never noticed you, but you watched him for a couple of seconds; his attention to his duty was unbroken and unwavering.

Sleep finally took you away a couple of hours later. In the dark of your quarters, you began counting. Gradually your heart rate slowed.

Suddenly your alarm was blaring! Pain rested behind your eyes and in your temples. No doubt it would remain with you for the rest of the day.

After a shower, you got dressed into your uniform and headed for the mess hall for breakfast. The bright overhead lights assaulted your eyes, making you wince.

Lucas, Tony and Lonnie were all sat together to the left hand side of the room. You suddenly felt sick, insanely sick. Tony looked at you, his eyes widening. Thankfully Lucas had his back to you. It was impossible for you to avoid him now; once you were up for duty, you couldn’t go back to quarters until the next shift rotation. On an almost mile-long submarine, and you couldn’t hide.

You grabbed fruit and a mug of herbal tea. With a huge sigh, you approached the table where your friends were, a spare seat having been left between Tony and Lucas.

Lucas swallowed hard and shifted in his seat as your perfume wafted up his nose, mixed with the smell of your sweet-scented hand cream.  

“Morning,” you said softly. Your eyes met Lucas’ and you could see the sadness swimming in them.

“You look awful,” Lonnie said. “Are you okay?”

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” you said, forcing another smile. “And it’s caught up with me this morning.”

By now and you could feel your pulse racing, thumping in your head and chest. Your hands were shaking, and you knew the day wouldn’t get any easier. Tony kept watching you as the atmosphere remained tense. Lonnie left a few minutes later, uncomfortable by the silence.

Lucas was looking down most of the time and once Tony had also left, he spoke, but didn’t look at you. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” you admitted, swallowing hard.

Lucas heard the quiver in your voice and finally looked at you. “I’m sorry,” he said simply.

Almost on instinct, you placed your hand on his. “We’ll be okay. Whatever happens, we’ll be okay. Shore leave in two days. We can talk more then.”

That morning seemed to ease some of the tension between Lucas and you. On the bridge, you began to ease back into your laughter. You temporarily forgot your fatigue and the events of the evening previous. Until Lucas held your gaze for a few seconds longer than usual. Normally you looked away, trying to avert his attention elsewhere, but this time you maintained eye contact and smiled.

Tony smirked to himself, recognising that look anywhere.

**

The next two days passed without incident. You felt more at ease now and found yourself making jokes out of mundane things. As it always had, it entertained Tony greatly. The two of you played off each other in the mess hall. A lot of your jokes were at Captain Hudson’s expense. To most people, you outwardly seemed more suited to Tony Piccolo, but those closest to you knew better. The bond you shared with Lucas was unlike any other relationship on the boat. Even though you paled into insignificance when it came to Lucas’ IQ, you could both normally tell what the other was thinking with just one smile.

On the evening before shore leave officially started, Lucas remained in his quarters after shift rotation. There was still a deep pain when he saw you. When you turned your head and smiled, your eyes shining bright, he knew that he would love no other smile. Your attention to detail was unparalleled; that was obvious from the drawings of yours which littered your bedside wall. Your mind didn’t store facts, theories and calculations like Lucas’; it was curious, deep, questioning. You observed deeply. Your genius was in colours, shape, emotion, behaviour. Not cold fact like Lucas.

The Navy had taught you to be disciplined, orderly. No more piles of clothes left at the end of your bed or un-pressed clothing that hoped no one would notice. Why had you even enlisted? Was it your wanderlust? Perhaps. Or maybe it was a way to get away from the ordinary world and embrace your difference.

A sudden knock came to your door, a metallic tap.

“Come in,” you called, placing your copy of The Lord of the Ringsback on your shelf.

Lucas entered, not quite sure why he was even visiting.

“Sorry. I was tidying. You okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied.

“You think so?”

Lucas sat down on the edge of your bed and looked up at you as you placed your hands on your hips.

“Please don’t do that. You remind me of my mom,” he chuckled.

Somehow, that comment didn’t amuse you quite as much as it did Lucas. It hit a rather raw nerve that you had hoped you had figured out how to manage.

Lucas got up from his spot and stood before you, being slightly taller. “What?” he asked. You turned your head, shame surging through you again. But just then, the gentlest touch came to your cheek. Lucas’ large blue eyes were full of concern and adoration for you. His hand cupped your face and seconds later, you felt his lips against yours. Soft, unsure, but above all, kind. The kiss of a young man, some ten years your junior, was enough to remind you that there was still kindness in the world, especially amongst the male of the species.

Realisation hit you hard in the stomach and you turned from the kiss. You heard Lucas sigh and stepped back. “Have you thought about this properly? We’re at different stages in our lives. You’re just starting out in your adult years to find out what you’d like…”

Lucas cut you off. “You talk as though I have no idea what I want.”

You looked at him sadly, seeing the frustration in his face. “What experience have you had? Do you know if you want to get married? Have children? These are probably things you haven’t even considered yet. I’ve been forced to push it aside because I’m too different.”

Lucas remained quiet, not quite sure what to say.

“Please think on this more,” you said.

“I have,” he said in desperation, his hands cupping your face again. “I want to be with you, and whatever you want, you can have it.” His voice became a whisper and you kissed again.

You woke a few hours later at just after one in the morning. There was a solid warmth against your back and an arm draped over you. The two of you had fallen asleep after an evening of chatter and cuddles under the blanket.

In all the time that you had known Lucas, which was two years, you had never seen him smile so much as he had done that evening. True, since enlisting in the Navy, Lucas had had to grow up somewhat and that change in him had been amazing, going from a boy to a man. A seriousness had settled in him, overriding the boyishness.

You slid out of bed and positioned the blanket back over Lucas. He rolled over and mumbled in his sleep. Something about this still felt wrong. It made you concerned that everyone would see it as predatory. Everything that felt wrong was pushing you to begin writing up that transfer request. Crew from the infamous seaQuest were always welcomed aboard other UEO vessels. The sub still remained the pinnacle of the fleet, highly sought after by new officers for their first tour. A reserve list with thousands of names on had been written up, and if you left, then you’d open a door to someone more deserving of their placement. Allowing Lucas to get close to you had been an abuse of your authority.

“You’re making a habit of this, ain’t you?” Brody laughed, finding you in the mess hall again at an ungodly hour for the second time that week.

“Maybe I am,” you chuckled. “My sleep routine is shot to shit.”

“Did you get things sorted with Lucas?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “It still feels wrong. I’m seriously considering putting in a transfer. But I know that Hudson will only take a valid reason before signing off my request.”

“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Brody leaned closer to you across the table.

“I can’t stay, Jim. Things are getting too deep between me and Lucas, and I know that he’s always going to expect something that I can’t give him.”

“I can’t force you to go against what you think is right, but you know we’d all miss you. None of us would want to see you go.”

“I know that, and I thank you so much. You’ve all supported me and I absolutely love working on this boat.”

“Yeah, it is a great place.”

Suddenly, you stopped rigid, eyes wide as Lucas wondered into the room. Brody turned after seeing your expression, and then wished you both a goodnight.

“You okay?” Lucas asked, replacing Brody in the seat opposite you.

“Got a lot on my mind,” you told him.

Lucas reached out and curled his hand around yours. “What’s up? Talk to me.”

Tears filled your eyes and fell down your cheeks. “I can’t do this…I’m sorry…”

“What have I done?” he whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” you sobbed. Your gripped his hand tighter until he came and sat at your side. “You need someone your own age. I’m taking advantage of you with my authority and rank.”

“How are you taking advantage of me?”

“I’m ten years older than you and I’m a Lieutenant.”

“And why should that matter?”

“I…” words were lost.

“We’re both legal age and consenting adults. So does it really matter?” You remained quiet. Then you heard the gentle whisper of your name. “Does it really matter?” he asked again.

“I was considering putting in a transfer,” you said, the words tumbling from your mouth like an avalanche.

“No….no,” Lucas begged, drawing his hand up your face. “Don’t leave me.”

You couldn’t help but kiss his hand and lean into his touch.

“Captain Bridger left. I don’t know if I could handle you leaving, too.” Lucas’ eyes were wide and full to the brim of tears. Everyone in Lucas’ life had left him or cared little, never putting him as their priority.

And you knew then that no matter the outcome of your relationship status, you couldn’t leave. Lucas needed an open ear, heart and mind to express himself to. He’d found that in you.

As everyone prepared their belongings in order to enjoy three days of shore leave, you sat in your quarters with music playing away on your com-link. There was a positive buzz outside your door and foot traffic was loud. It was always the same whenever shore leave was approaching.

A knock came to your door.

Tony appeared. “Mornin’!” he chirped happily. “All ready to go?”

“Yes, I think so,” you replied.

“Lucas told me about your conversation over the transfer. I’m glad you told him you’d thought about it. Are you still considering it?”

You sighed and looked towards Tony. “No, I’ve decided not to leave. Whatever happens, I know my place is here. Lucas has had enough people walk out on him. He needs at least one person to stay.”

“Make sure you’re stayin’ for the right reasons.”

“I thought you wanted me to stay,” you replied with a smile.

“I do. We all do. But you’ve got to want to stay for yourself.”

“Everyone here feels like the friends I never had and the family I lost touch with. Of course I don’t want to leave.”

As everyone began gathering in the corridors to head to the docking bays, you stood between Lucas and Brody, dressed in your shore uniform. As usual, Tony was telling jokes to keep everyone amused.

“Do you ever pause for breath?” you asked, laughing.

“Only when I’m sleepin’, and even then I still talk,” Tony countered.

“He’s right there,” Lucas mumbled.

Shore leave began with all of you checking into a local hotel in downtown just from the seaQuest berth. As usual, the UEO paid for all expenses incurred on shore leave.

Lucas looked on a little suspiciously when you announced that you were next door to Brody and Lonnie, but he was on the floor below. He merely smiled at you, swept a glance to Brody and Lonnie, then disappeared to his own room.

In your room, you placed your bag down on the bed and began inspecting the cleanliness of the place.

You made sure you had a bath before doing anything else. The heat relaxed you and the sweet scent of lavender and jasmine wrapped around you. For a short while and you forgot all the trials in life, all the things that kept you up at night and made you over think. Suddenly, your phone began to chime. With a groan of irritation, you lifted yourself out of the tub, wound a thick towel around yourself and picked up the ringing nuisance from your bed.

“Are you alright? You took a while to answer,” Lucas’ questioning voice came.

“I’m fine. I was taking a bath.”

“Oh, okay. Do you mind if I come and see you?”

“Give me ten minutes to get dressed. I’m in room 712.”

“Okay. Bye.”

He seemed put out somehow. You sensed disappointment in his voice. Did he think you were avoiding him purely because you took time to answer his call? There was definitely a lot that needed to be ironed out between you both.

Lucas came to your room shortly afterwards, holding two paper cups of coffee, probably from the vending machine on his floor.

You thanked him for the coffee and then sat opposite him on your bed. You pulled your leg under yourself and watched him lower his head in that way he always did when he was unsure. “If this is how things are going to be between us now, then I wish they would just go back to how they were,” he said. His voice as pained by the realisation of all the tension he’d placed on your once deep friendship. For a young man who was so intelligent, far beyond that of most people, he held a lot of insecurity and uncertainty. He wore his heart on his sleeve and had never been able to hide his true emotions. There was an honesty and innocence that drew you in. A purity of heart. But also a sadness. If everyone else had abandoned him, how could you be so selfish and do the same thing?

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

Lucas was staring blankly into his coffee. “This. All of it.” He then looked up at you. “The last few days have been hell. I haven’t known what to say or do. And even if you don’t feel anything for me, can we just go back to the way things were?”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’ve driven a gap between us out of my own fear. Maybe I felt that backing away would help. Being around each other constantly only makes the feelings deepen. I’ve missed you and I do have feelings for you. A lot of them. I was scared of everyone judging me because I’m older and abusing my authority. I have to be careful, Lucas. Especially now that Captain Bridger is gone. He didn’t push Naval code like Hudson does.”

“I know that,” Lucas said, edging in a little closer towards you. That beautiful scent. It made his deeper instinct ride; butterflies were flapping with ferocity in his gut. “You worry too much about what other people think of you.”

“We’re not civilians, Lucas,” you reminded him.

“What would you have done with your life if you never enlisted?”

You took a sip of your coffee and smiled. “As a kid, I always wanted to be a vet, so I’d have worked with animals more than likely.”

“What made you enlist? You’ve never had that typical Navy way about you.”

“I finished university with a useless degree in English and I saw advertisements at a job fayre. I wanted something new and interesting. I almost failed my initial medical though.”

“Why?”

“I was taking medication for panic attacks. I stopped taking it a week before my examination and never declared it. Who wants a Naval officer who’s always anxious?”

“I don’t believe that at all. You’re probably the most chilled of anyone when we have an emergency.”

You chuckled. “I’ve learned to control it. And I find when I’m leading others, I’m more at ease. I can be calm for other people but not myself.”

That evening, a large group of you decided to head for a sit down meal at a local restaurant. Piano music was playing overhead and the lighting was dimmed, adding to a relaxing atmosphere. The waiter, a hook-nosed Italian man in overly tightly trousers, guided you over to a large, round table in the back corner.

You nudged Brody and pointed to the waiter. “It’s a wonder he doesn’t pop a nut.”

Lonnie and Tony immediately smiled, enjoying the fact that your usual self was coming back to the surface.

The whole meal was laid back, fun and light-hearted. You couldn’t help but notice the subtle glances that were exchanged between Lonnie and Jonathan Ford. Tim O’Neill seemed a little irritated by it, rolling his eyes a couple of times. When you saw Tim be so quiet, it reminded you of Miguel Ortiz, whom you had had a slight crush on when you first came aboard seaQuest. He and Tim had been good friends, and since Miguel’s passing in combat, Tim seemed a little lost at times.

By the time that the meal was over, most of the group had disappeared into the bar. There was only you, Lonnie and Jonathan Ford left at the table, which made you feel like a spare part. You excused yourself and walked out the front door of the restaurant. Chatter and laughter filled the air outside on the veranda. Dozens of people were drinking, eating and enjoying the night time air.

You began to walk, crossing the street and heading onto the empty beach. The chill in the air, the bright, full moon and the sound of crashing waves soothed you. In a hectic world where you were constantly fighting for control, you were now centred. Everything was simple. No worry. No orders. Just the stars, sand and sea.

Lucas looked for you, only to spot you standing on the beach. He could tell you from across the street. Proud shoulders, hands in pockets, bright coloured blouse, bandana in hair. That could only be you.

“You okay?” he asked.

You turned and smiled, then stepped back towards him. You curled your arm through his and put your head on his shoulder. The two of you remained quiet for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company. To Lucas’ surprise, you took his hand and held it tight.

Tony and Brody looked on from the front of the restaurant.

“If the age gap is their only concern then they’ve got more going for them than most couples,” Brody said.

“He’s definitely lucky to have her.”

By the time you made it back to the bar in the restaurant, you and Lucas were hand in hand. Tony grinned at you both and then cheered, drawing attention from the rest of the crew who were all sat in a booth together.

Laughter ensued almost immediately as all the men, apart from Lucas, began competing in a drinking game.

“One, two, three,” Tony counted, banging his free hand on the table top. All of the participants of the game tossed shots down their throats, then proceeded to continue on with a further two, downing them as quickly as possibly without vomiting. Tim O’Neill gagged, almost propelling his meal from his gut. Jim Brody fell into a coughing fit. Jonathan Ford blinked hard, pushing vodka-induced tears away. Tony merely laughed, playing a drum beat on the table.

You could sense Lucas’ eyes on you as you sat beside each other. His arm was stretched across the back of the seat behind you. His nerves were finally beginning to settle a little, reminding himself again and again that it was still you. You were the same person he had known now for almost two years and had had a bad crush on the whole time. There were so many times that he had imagined how you would feel under his fingertips, the way your lips would taste against his, the sound of your hitched breath as you kissed with passion. And you did not disappoint. All of his fantasies had fallen short of the beauty of reality.

Around midnight and the men of the group were considerably less sober than when they’d arrived for dinner just over four hours earlier. Tony was now daring Brody to go swimming in the sea naked, which the Lieutenant was actually considering to do. Ford and O’Neill were arm wrestling, leaving you to chat with Lucas and Lonnie. A bottle of expensive red wine was on the table. Lonnie sipped from her glass now and again, encouraging you to have a drink, but you never drank alcohol as it only made your anxiety worse.

“I’m going to retire to bed, I think,” you announced.

“I’ll walk you back,” Lucas proposed.

Together, you and Lucas began your short walk back to the hotel. You strolled along comfortably hand in hand. People walked past you, glancing at you for only a brief second before continuing on. No one stared like you thought they would. They were all unawares of the age gap between you both that you always thought was noticeable.

**

You woke the next morning to bright sunlight shining through the open curtains. Lucas was lying with his back to you. You slipped out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

Lucas heard the toilet flush and looked up at the ceiling, smiling. Would you regret the night previously? He hoped so much that you wouldn’t.

“Good morning,” you said with a smile, exiting the bathroom in your pyjamas.

“Morning,” Lucas replied, groggy with sleep and happiness.

You slipped back into bed and rolled over to him, kissing his lips. He seemed to gain more confidence the more that you kissed. The tension was seeping out of your actions the more that you acted on your feelings. Fear was losing its grip on you.

Both of you remained in bed for a short while, until you announced that you were getting dressed to head downstairs for breakfast.

“I’m tired,” Lucas groaned.

“Get up, Ensign. That’s an order,” you chuckled.

“Now who’s abusing their authority, Lieutenant?”

“Well if you’re expecting any kind of repeat of last night then you’re going to have to be well-behaved now, aren’t you?”

“You never seemed the type to subject me to blackmail.”

“I’m going to head down,” you said, putting the conversation back on a serious note. “Do you want me to bring you anything back up?”

Lucas just smiled. “I’ll come down with you.”

When you got downstairs, Lonnie and Commander Ford were already sat at a table for two. You and Lucas made yourself comfortable just across from them.

“How’s the head, Commander?” you chuckled.

“Strangely it’s okay. For now. No quick and sudden movements and I should be fine,” he replied with a smile.

You poured yourself a mug of English tea and began to eat your breakfast which had been served.

Tim O’Neill came half staggering into the large dining area and plopped down on a seat next to Lucas. “Remind me to never drink again,” he groaned.

Lucas looked up at you ever now and again, his blue eyes twinkling with something you hadn’t seen before. Contentment maybe? Or perhaps happiness? Whatever it was, you knew he needed both, and you hoped that you had given that to him.

The rest of that day was fairly eventful, with a visit to the local art museum with Lucas, Lonnie and Commander Ford.

Jonathan Ford couldn’t deny that he was shocked by the sudden and dramatic change in yours and Lucas’ relationship dynamic. His Navy instinct told him that something needed to be said, a warning to you both of potential consequences. But the kind side of him won out. Why try and damage that haze of happiness that was suspended around you both? Once Captain Hudson returned to the seaQuest, a relationship was something that you and Lucas would have to either end or keep secret. No way would Hudson advocate romance on his boat.

At the beach during the afternoon, Tony sat beside Lucas whilst you remained with Lonnie, enjoying an ice cream cone.

“So? What happened last night? Brody told me that you stayed in her room,” Tony enquired.

“Yeah, I stayed with her. What happened is none of your business,” Lucas replied.

“Lucas, come on! You gotta tell me. I didn’t arm you with rubber for nothin’!”

Lucas merely smirked. “Lets just say that it was put to good use.”

“Way to go, my boy!” Tony exclaimed.

“Tony, shut up. She’s only over there,” Lucas growled.

“So, I need details. How was it? Was she good?”

“None of your business,” Lucas hissed and moved away. He approached you and Lonnie, and as he looked at you, he knew there was only one word that could have described the night previously: incredible. No way was he about to disrespect you and discuss your private life with others.

“Can I borrow you for a few minutes?” he asked you.

“Yeah, sure,” you replied, and got up from the warm sand. “Everything okay?”

You both moved away from the rest of the group. “Yeah. I just wanted to be alone with you for a while.”

The two of you took a slow walk down to the water’s edge, the tide returning from its long descent out towards the horizon. Hand in hand, you were silent for a few minutes. The sun’s rays were warm against your back, but a gentle breeze refreshed the air, biting through the humidity. You felt that inner calm come flooding to the surface again. Lucas’ arm wound around your waist and you prayed in silence that this was the right thing for both of you.

[omiscurls]

prom queen

sakusa kiyoomi x reader

word count: around 12K i apologize profusely 

 "Did I just hear Sakusa Kiyoomi say my ass? Oh god the world's end is upon us!"

i’d just like to add that english is NOT my first language so i apologize for the simple constructions and mistakes every now and then, although i did check it all before posting 

"Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences if you keep looking at me like that" you heard him say, almost embarassed, but still not quite, going back to explaining something to Komori, after the comment.

"I wasn't smiling at you" you responded, crossing your arms at your chest, pulling out the best pout face you could. You almost heard Sakusa's eyeroll.

You, in fact, were smiling at him, for two very simple reasons. One, volleyball was one of the things you geniuenly adored watching him talk about, and two, you knew how rattled it made him and enjoyed his face turning bright red as he tried to ignore you, but failed miserably and loosing the subject he was talking about.

Even when he finally figure out that you were doing it on purpose, he still couldn't seem to get over your wide smile. But what he truly couldn't get over was people, mostly Komori, teasing him about it all the time.

Sakusa's one weakness — your smile. And the germs, of course, that too, but it made the quote so less romantic.

"You were saying, Sakusa?" Komori asked, smiling as well, watching him being all miserable, and knowing that question will push him off his tracks even more.

"Nevermind, you meatheads, you aren't worth my time" he cut him off by pulling out his headphones and then proceeding to plug them into his phone like he was alone.

"Hey, I know you're a douchebag, but be pleasant to your girlfriend!" his friends intended on hitting him playfully, but he dodged it in absolute shock. Then, when the words finally hit him, he turned even redder and looked at Komori with disgust.

"She's not my girlfriend". he just added, leaving, but grabbing your sweater, so you'd follow him.

"Sure she isn't!" the other boy yelled as you two were walking away. Sakusa showed him his middle finger without even turning around.

You were still laughing while leaving the school campus, with him holding a scrap of your sleeve between his fingers, eyes glued to the phone.

"Would you mind stopping already?" he finally lifted up his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry Omi, it's just fun seeing you all so flustered"

"I'm not! And enough with the Omi already" he said coldly, it would almost hurt you didn't know him long enough to know being unpleasant was just his coping mechanism.

"Oh yeah? Then let go of my sweater, Sakusa-san" you said in the most chilly way you could, before jerking your hand away and walking in a different direction than the one you two usually took when going home. Both ways leaded to the same train station, cause you needed to take the same train to get to your block, only after leaving your station did you need to part. The route you took now was longer than the usual one, but you didn't care, you didn't need to make it before Sakusa's train if you weren't coming home with him, right?

"Oh god, don't get offended!" he said while you were already leaving, even tried to catch you, but gave up. After coming across a turn, you looked behind you to see if he was following you, but he wasn't.

It kinda hurted, how fast he gave up. Made you feel as if it didn't matter to him whether you went home together or not. Maybe it truly didn't, sometimes you had no clue what was happening in his head. Did he truly get embarassed when Komori called you his girlfriend? Or was he just annoyed? Maybe he ment it every time he insulted you in some way, and you just tried to explain it to yourself in other ways so you wouldn't lose him?

Maybe, just maybe, he was as much of a douchebag as everybody described him to be.

**

Meanwhile Sakusa was still looking in the direction where you disappeared a couple of minutes earlier, letting the crowd of students pass him by.

Did she really leave like that? Did I offend her?

Oh, whatever, girls were so easy to offend, anyway. You knew how much you ment to him, right? There was no need to say it.

Right?

Komori interrupted his thinking, by running up to him and slapping his back, much to Sakusa's displeasure.

"What're you still doing here? Aren't you walking with Miss Girlfriend today?" he asked unbothered by the murder look on his face.

"She's not— No, no I'm not" he gave up on trying to convince Motoya you weren't his girlfriend. Or maybe he didn't want to convince him?

"Why's that?"

"Well, she left and went the other way" he explained, starting to walk. He and Komori lived almost next door to each other, so even after leaving the train station, they'd still be going together, and Sakusa already predicted that this conversation is going to haunt him all the way until reaching his door.

"Oh my, what did you do now to piss her off? She never gets annoyed with your shit"

He wanted to yell at him that he did nothing, and you're probably just in a bad mood, not by his fault, but words couldn't seem to get out of his mouth.

"I might've accidentally hurt her on accident"

"You said accident twice"

"No I didn't!"

Komori laughed, suprising his friend. How could he be laughing right now, when you left him just like that, and he didn't know what to do next?

"Anyway" he finally said, and suprisingly caught Sakusa's attention "I'm not the one you should be explaining yourself to, so let's shift the subject a bit. Saku, your my socially awkward friend, and you know I'd do a lot to help you out once you actually found somebody who keeps up with you, but I can't be dropping her hints forever. How're you gonna ask her to prom?"

If Sakusa were drinking at the moment, he definitely would've choked.

"I'm not asking her to prom" he denied. What kind of an idea was that? Did he loose his mind? Sakusa? To prom? Hell no.

"What do you mean you're not asking her to prom?!" Komori stopped in his tracks, putting both of his hands on Sakusa's shoulders, so he'd stop as well. "Are you dumber than I already preassumed, Saku?"

"Are you? I'm not going to prom at all." he replied before starting to walk again.

"Why?!" Komori tried desperately to keep up with him.

The black haired boy stopped once more and threw a deadly glance at his friend.

"Because, you idiot, I hate crowds, I hate people, parties, shared drinks, dancing, highschoolers and not being able to talk, because the music is so loud it could be heard from the fricking moon. Because prom is everything I am not. Because it's gross and overrated and not that fun at all, it's an old custom that parents use to tell their kids they need to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend at eighteen or else they'd waste their teenage years, and the popular kids use to mock the less recognizable ones. The thing that makes both girls and guys loose sanity and adds twice as much complexes to their mental health than they had before. And besides, she would've said no anyway. Satisfied, you moron?"

Only after finishing the sentence did Sakusa realize his hands had started to sweat uncontrollably, and a hot feeling flooded his insides, causing his heart rate to increase significantly. It took him a minute to catch his breath, even though he was standing in place, not even walking.

Komori was looking at him with a dumb expression, not really sure how to respond to that outburst of frustration.

"Well that part with saying no isn't certain, is it? he finally mumbled, but Sakusa only snorted sarcastically and speeded up. "You never know unless you—"

"Komori! I'm not fucking asking! Do you understand, or is it too difficult for your peanut sized brain? Well let me spell it out for you: I'm not. Asking. Her. To. Prom. Understood?" he didn't even realize he was yelling, and two or three old ladies were staring him up and down from the distance, with disgust. He was so shaken up he didn't care.

He noticed the other boy wasn't walking beside him anymore, but standing in place and only looking at him in disbelief. He slowed down as well. Komori's normal and bubbly expression and aura suddenly shifted, and the taller boy noticed that he looked like a serial killer when he didn't smile.

"Well, now that you're done with that pathethic little whining, let me tell you something as well" the boy trembled at the coldness of Komori's voice, as he was walking up to him. "And you better listen to me carefully, Sakusa fucking idiot Kiyoomi."

Now, that was unnecessarly direct.

"Prom isn't the only dumb tradition this school holds. You know what happens a week before the party? A game. "Honours Homecoming Match". The team that has the most successes on it's account by the end of the semester has a game. And what is our school so famous for? Volleyball. So who's gonna have a game, for the third years to show off one last time before graduation? Us. And you know who's the most awaited person on the prom night, besides the prom queen and king? The athletes. The captains, the aces, especially of the teams that are popular right now. And who's the ace of our most significant team?"

Silence fell upon them.

"That question isn't rhetorical, Kiyoomi. Who's our volleyball ace?"

"I am" he responded, now regretting ever getting into volleyball.

"Exactly. Now get your act together and acknowledge the fact that coach is probably going to FORCE YOU to go there, and you're going to be way more miserable all alone with Cap and his girlfriend, than you would've been if you took you precious little friend along with you."

"I gue—" Sakusa tried to agree, although, he still hated the idea, but Komori cut him off once more.

"And if that's not enough for you, then fine, I'll paint you an even worse picture. Go on about how you are not interested in her in any way, but I see the way your eyes light up when she shouts your name from across the hallway. I see how you smile every time after telling her you don't care about the compliments she gives you. I see how focused you are when she's watching our games."

"I'm always focused"

"Shut up, did I finish? It's a different kind of focus. You really think I don't notice you constantly checking whether you got notifications, even though you never did that before meeting her? And even though you tell her it's annoying when she randomly texts you? Well, I do. I see how important she is to you and I see how much you try to hide your feelings, even from yourself, because you're scared, which is understandable, you never felt like that before. I get it all, really, I do, Kiyoomi. But imagine this. Imagine how she would feel if everyday, while hanging out with you, she'd wish for you to ask her that one simple question. Maybe sometimes you'd even unconsciously lead her on, and then at the end of the day not say it, imagine how she'd go home with her hopes crushed, only to hope for the same the next day. And imagine it going on and on until prom week, when she'd suddenly stop wishing for it to happen anymore, because everything around her seems to say it won't? And then some lame ass guy's gonna ask her two days before and she'll eventually say yes, because well, it's better than going alone, right? And then she'd dress up the best she can, do her make up, all that, all for a guy she doesn't care about, but she still wants to have prom memories? Then she'd go, and see you there, alone, which wouldn't even mean you have someone else, no, it would only mean you didn't want to go with HER."

"Stop! That's not why I'd be alone!"

"Did I say it was why you'd be alone? No, I say she would've thought that, because well, that's how it would've looked like. And imagine her waiting for that lame ass guy to ask her for even one simple dance, but she'd be busy trying to get attention from a girl that already rejected him. And even though she didn't give a single shit about him either it still would've hurt her, because she'd feel objectified, someone only wanted to go out with her because it would be a shame to go alone. Imagine her not taking it anymore and running of to the bathroom, all her carefully done make up flowing down her face, but she wouldn't care anymore. It's not like anyone wanted to see her all pretty, was it? Imagine her crying in the bathroom, hearing the slow song playing and only wishing she'd dance to it with you, but she'd know that was impossible, since you didn't even respect her enough to tell her you ARE going, but alone.

Sakusa's face was all pale, his eyes not able to focus on one point. Wait, would it really hurt you like that? Does a girl's mind really work like that? Was he really such an asshole?

"Am I really this bad of an asshole?" he asked, not realizing it was out loud until he heard Komori laugh. He raised his eyes to see his face back to normal, a smile across his cheeks.

"Yes. Yes, a thousand percent you are"

"There can only be one hundred percents"

"That's exactly what I'm reffering to. Thousand percent." Sakusa rolled his eyes, but Komori knew something big was on his mind, much bigger than his puns.

He was silent for a good three minutes, during which he'd start going in circles, running his hands through his hair in distress, looking up at the sky as if he was blaming god for the fact he was ever born, and of course facepalming like a crazy person, until he finally looked up at the other boy, chest puffed, shoulders raised and a confident look on his face.

"Alright, you won. How do I ask her?"

Komori jumped in excitement, hugging his friend.

"You have two seconds to get off or I'm reporting abuse to the police"

"Sorry, bro, I got carried away. You're growing up so fast"

"Call me that again, I dare you."

"No, sir."

"So, how're we going to do it?"

"Oh, man, get ready, this will be some serious Mean Girls meets Disney shit"

***

Never once before a game has Sakusa been this nervous. That's because he always knew that he had only his abilities to depend on, but now, there were so many unknowns, so many possible outcomes.

"'Supp, Omi-Omi?" he heard a giggle behind him, and someone touching his shoulders.

"I told you not to say that cursed nickname. It's Sakusa for you" he replied, turning back to look Komori in the eyes while he said that.

"Someone's in a bad mood"

"Only because you made that someone not only step out of the comfort zone, but fricking jump a hundred metres below it" he mumbled, crossing his arms at his chest, and looking down at the floor, a distressed look on his face.

They were already waiting in the back of the gym arena, dressed in their tournament uniforms instead of the practice ones, as it wasn't a normal practice match, but the last one they'd ever play with this squad. It was Honours Homecoming match, after all.

But that wasn't what worried Sakusa.

It wasn't the team they chose as opponents, either. He was in fact, happy to see a familiar face on the enemy team. His concerns that day didn't regard the game itself, but whats was to happen after it.

And the fact that for it to happen, they really REALLY needed to win.

They heard a voice of the commentator, (again, honours match, all the fancy stuff needed to be there) through the walls.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the students of Itachiyama Academy, the teachers, and all our dear guests. It is my pleasure to welcome you to this year's Homecoming Match. It has been a productive and succesfull year for our volleyball club! They returned from Tokyo National Gymnasium as victors, after the Interhigh..."

Clapping and cheering.

"... and won the silver cup at Spring National Tournament! Today, some of them are here for the last time, so please, do your best in cheering on our dear soon-to-be-graduates, and the rest of the team as well! But first, let me introduce the guest team to you. Ladies and gentlemen, I request a warm welcome for the team of Shiratorizawa Academy of Miyagi!"

Sakusa smiled ever so slightly, as sudden motivation flooded his mind. He was going to crush Ushiwaka-kun that day, and you were going to watch it happen.

"Let me introduce the starting order. Number 14, libero, Yamagata Hayato! Number 12, Kawanishi Taichi! Number 10, Shirabu Kenjiro!"

"Oh, so it's the same order they had against Karasuno" Sakusa whispered. Komori looked at him in disbelief, once again forgetting he was able to watch EVERY match his opponents ever played when nervous.

"You're unbelievable."

"...Number 8, Goshiki Tsutomu! Number five, Tendou Satori! Number four, Ohira Leon! And the ace and captain, ladies and gentlemen, number 1, Ushijima Wakatoshi!"

"Now, they needn't have added that. That's unproffesional, it's the commentators job to call someone an ace, not the official speaker." Sakusa complained.

He heard "Ushijima-kun!" coming loudly from the audience. Oh, so they came with their support team?

Even better, said his competetive side. Damn, am I turning into Miya?

"Now now, ladies and gentlemen, our dear Itachiyama students! Please welcome..."

He was going on and on, reading the names of every single one of his teammates that were assigned for that match, and Sakusa was forced to high five all of them while they were leaving for the court.

"Do your best there, Sakusa-san" he heard some of the first years say, and managed to smile at them a bit, which turned out to be so out of character for him, the first years were more scared that encouraged.

"...and lastly, our own ace, please welcome, number 10, Sakusa Kiyoomi!"

He heard cheers while running out of the gate, waving slightly at the crowd. Damn, Komori didn't lie when he said a lot of people will be watching. Never once had he seen the gym so full. People were sitting on the stairs, Standing next to the doors and some even out of the stands, near the court.

He even heard his fans shout, his fans who's existence he frequently denied, shouting "Omi-kun" as loud as the girls who were screaming Ushijima's name.

Don't you have anything better to do, he thought, but then he heard a familiar voice yelling on top of everyone else's.

"Omi-omi! Do your best!"

It was obviously you who was shouting, and you noticed him smile a bit, which suprised you a lot. You always yelled that, but he never EVER payed it any attention. But now he was looking directly at you, noticing even the Itachiyama colours painted on your cheeks.

And then he waved? What was up with that boy, did the aliens finally take him home, where he belonged, and replaced him with another one?

Ushijima went over to the net to shake hands with Itachiyama's captain, Tsukasa, a third year, so for the both of them it was the last time they ever did that.

Well, not for Ushiwaka, he was promised a career. But you were certain so was Sakusa, even though he was only in his second year, he was already a better spiker.

"Pleased to see you again, Kiyoomi-kun" Ushijima said louder, for him to hear. Everybody was even more suprised when he responded, with a smile on his lips.

"Any opportunity to crush you is a good one, Wakatoshi-kun"

"And now you sound like Miya" he replied before returning to his team.

Oh. Well, not like I care.

**

They lost the first set, 23 to 25, so they almost won, but it was still enough to make Sakusa's hand sweat like crazy from stress.

"Sakusa-kun" he heard captain Tsukasa behind his back. He turned to face him and notice a deadly expression. "It's my last time being able to scold you like that, so don't mind if I will. I don't know if you care or not, probably not, but we need to win that.

Oh he cared. He cared loads.

"To be honest, it doesn't matter to me what kind of motivation caused you to bite back at Ushijima like that, but I need that energy back for the second set. Drop the act for once, and try your best like it was Tokyo Finals. Like it was the fricking Olympics. I know you don't care, but I really do, and even if it's foolish of me to hope you'll actually liste—"

"You got it, captain." he cut him off and notice his pupils widen and mouth open in disbelief "I'll do my very best to win. I can be humble all I want, but I am the best, after all. No, we're the best. We defeted Shiratorizawa not once, not twice, and we'll beat them again. You'll leave like the true champion you are."

"Sakusa-kun I— I didn't think that would actually work on you..." Tsukasa lost his words.

He just shrugged his shoulders and turned away, as Ushijima came to say something to him.

"What's up with you, Kiyoomi-kun? Are you not at your best today?" he asked. Sakusa would've been annoyed if he didn't knew he was actually honestly concerned, in his own, weird way.

"I am, Wakatoshi. You'll see"

"I hope to"

Well, I hope to, as well. He looked at you in the crowd, checking your phone. A spring of jellousness stung him in the heart. Look at me, his eyes screamed, watch me, I need you to look closely as I win this foolery for you.

**

He was on fire, it seemed like the ball was his and his only once he touched it. It was beautiful thing to watch, really. They won the second set and were already near the positive end of the third one, going 22 to 20.

You noticed that Sakusa's newly found enthusiasm really tired him, as he was standing there, catching his breath, with both his hands on his knees, facing the gym floor. What has gotten into that boy you knew, always distanced, only showing his best when it was obviously needed, freaking everybody out. Here he was, giving his heart out, but in a different way than usual. Like he was actually invested emotionally in that game, not only wanting to win out of competetiveness.

Minutes later you watched him getting ready to spike the final point, as did the commentator describe it.

"...ladies and gentlemen, we're here to give a warm goodbye to the third years, but as an unwritten rule says, the last point belongs to the ace! Will Shiratorizawa's block use that information? As you can see, now near the net we have the undefeatable Ushijima Tendou duo, I'm sure Sakusa's frustrated by that fact, they might interrupt his glorious point streak!"

"Undefeatable my ass" said Sakusa, causing Komori to break into laughter.

"Did I just hear Sakusa Kiyoomi say my ass? Oh god the world's end is upon us!"

"Did I ask?" yelled Sakusa, focusing his eyes on Tendou. Ushijima just had strong arms, but Tendou, he was truly a blocker to be feared.

Shut up, Kiyoomi, you're the ace here, not Tendou Satori.

He checked quickly if you were looking. You were. And that was all he needed.

He clapped, telling the team to start already. Shiratorizawa's pinch server, Semi Eita was serving, but that was no suprise to Itachiyama's block, and the ball got passed on to the setter. Captain Tsukasa tossed it with a slight spin, but that wasn't a problem for Sakusa at all.

Now it wasn't a question of his abilities, but strenght. He wouldn't outjump Tendou and Ushijima, both tall as towers, they obviously left no room for a spike, but he felt reassured. Tsukasa could toss to anyone else, knowing they'll focus on Sakusa, but he still believed in his ace. And he didn't plan on disappointing the captain on his last day of duty.

"And that's not even my best, Wakatoshi!" he yelled as he took all the energy left in him to spike the ball right into Ushijima's fingertips.

If he didn't give it so much power, Ushi could've easily blocked that, but that was truly an ace's spike. Worth someone called "Japan's best".

He fell on his knees, feeling as tired as ever, catching his breath, but noticed the ball fall into the enemy field.

They won.

You shouted, alongside everyone else, yelling Sakusa's name.

You knew he didn't like the attention, but well, what could you do, you were proud. And he managed to suprise you yet again, when he actually checked whether you were scanding "Sa-Ku-Sa" along with the whole gym. He actually checked, he really looked worried you wouldn't, but how could you not?

What happened to him today?

The Itachiyama team, as well as Shiratorizawa's came to their side of the stands to bow to the people cheering them on for the last two hours, and then they all started to walk towards the coach.

"Now, Sakusa, while you still have the adrenaline"

Oh right, he was supposed to do it now.

Just like in the movies.

He nodded, feeling the stress rise inside him once again, already feeling saltiness in his mouth, as if he was about to throw up.

You were suprised when you saw him walk back to the edge of the court, looking in a different direction.

Other people around also noticed him walking over and were now silently watching.

That stressed him even more, but well, what can you do.

"Hey, Smiles!" you were suddenly so shocked, hearing the nickname he only used when you were alone, and even so, with embarassement, now using his full voice, with a confident look on his face. You raised both your eyebrows and bent over your seat to hear him better. "I have something important I need to ask you?"

Well, couldn't you wait? Your team is waiting, you thought, but nodded.

"What is it, Sakusa?"

Something itched inside his heart. Why, though? He liked his last name.

"First of all, never call me that again. It's Omi for you." he said, completely serious and official, making you pinch your arm to check whether this wasn't some kind of a weird dream. He hated that nickname, didn't he?

"And second, Smiles, will you maybe... I mean, if you're not busy or anything..."

"Sakusa fricking idiot Kiyoomi! That's not how they do it in the movies!" you heard Komori yell, making you even more nervous.

"Right! Right." He shook his head. "Smiles, go to prom with me" he said super fast and super loud, making people around you gasp for air in shock and then clap their hands. He looked embarassed, hearing the cheers. Right, other people were there. He didn't think that through.

What?

Well, you'd love to, but... what? You thought he'd never ask! You thought he wouldn't go at all...

"I mean, don't you hate crowds, Omi?" you asked, concerned.

"Smiles!" he yelled, getting more and more comfortable with calling you that. "That's a yes or no kind of question!"

You noticed everybody around looking at you, as well as the Itachiyama team, waiting for Sakusa to join them.

"I— well, uhm... I'd love to, actually" you answered, your smile couldn't be cointaned anymore and painted your lips. You felt heat coming to your cheeks. You weren't prepared for that.

"Great!" he laughed, so geniuenly, you were even more suprised, if that was possible. "Now if you're excuse me, I have to get my ass kicked."

You waited for him outside his gym room for good fifteen minutes after the last member of his team left, and were starting to worry he somehow escape not wanting to face you. But you were so, so happy, you didn't let that thought bring you down. However, you started to get a bit impatient. You decided to knock.

"Omi? You there?" you asked gently, and waited for the response.

On the other side of the door Sakusa looked at his displaced finger and wonder why didn't he feel it hurt before. Was that from his last spike? He knew it was kind of unproffesional and coach already scolded him for that, but well, he put so much strenght into it that the form he was so famous for somehow disappeared. He didn't care about it, only wanting to score and win, and now the painful consequences got to him.

Then he heard you say his name and started packing up rapidly.

"Coming!" he only responded, tears forming in his eyes as a piece of his shirt got over the hurting finger, causing it to bend and hurt even more. "Fuck" he whispered, clenching his teeth. He put the sports bag over his shoulder and left.

You noticed that he had just showered, which was rare, because you knew he'd rather die than set his foot into a public shower. But there was no doubt, he smelled like his coconut shampoo and the cologne was fresh, you knew he wouldn't spray cologne onto a sweaty body, because he personally despised people who did that. His curls were still a bit wet and were closer to his face than normally, weighted down by the humidity.

"Did you shower, Omi?" you asked straight forward.

"I never want to speak of that again."

You noticed his sports bandage wrapped over his feet. Oh, so that's how he went into the shower. Understandable.

"Look at you overcoming your fears. Did you hit your head or something, now that you're acting so different?"

He giggled, letting down his guard at once, with what he satisfied you to the point a proud feeling filled up your chest.

"No seriously, you could've just waited until you got home, like you always do, why'd you do the one thing you hate the most?"

No, the thing he hates the most was only just coming for him, he thought, looking down at his finger. Then he lifted up his head and looked at you.

"How could I invite you over if I was still sweaty? That would've been disgusting"

"How could you WHAT?" you shouted, which really took him off his tracks, confusing him.

"Uhm... yeah, unless you don't want to, then I guess I'll be going then" he explained quietly, and rushed to get in front of you, but before he could you already noticed the blush forming on his cheeks.

"No wait, Omi, I was just suprised!" you caught up with him and grabbed him by the hand, which caused him to curse underneath his breath.

"Fuck"

You let go instantly, not knowing what you did wrong.

"I'm sorry?"

"No, no it's nothing, it's just... my finger hurts a bit. Forget about it." You stood in front of him, not letting him keep walking.

"Show me" you said in a demanding tone. He hid his palm behind his back, but you managed to grab it anyway, looking at the fingers in shock. "That looks concerning, it's not supposed to look like that."

"What're you, a doctor?"

"No, but I'm taking you to see one."

"What? No, no you're not!" he yelled, and you saw fear in his eyes.

"Yes I am! Omi, we need someone to look on this, for the sake of your future career! Do you know how easy injuries like that can ruin it?"

You had a point, but he was still not sure about it. When you tried to lead him out of the building, he froze in place.

"Omi! Act reasonable, please" you said, but he still wouldn't move, only shaking his head.

"I don't need a doctor, I don't need to go to a hospital, it's nothing serious, I can just rest it and it'll go away! I don't need anything else, I'll take a pill and it'll stop hurting so much, I'm a big boy, I can handle it like a grown up, no need to make a bit fuzz about a hurting hand, come on, hands hurt after every match, that's just how it goes. You wouldn't understand, you don't play volleyball! They're just gonna charge me for saying nothing, anyway! Or maybe they won't even agree to see to it without my parents and they aren't home, they're away visiting my aunt in South Korea! See, we can't go!" his breathing became very laboured and short, he started to get red, hands fidgeting and head shaking constantly, he started to speak very fast, you had trouble understanding.

You smiled at him.

"Omi... are you scared of hospitals?"

"What? No, I'm not, they're just so... full of sick people, and IV's and needles, and serious illnesses, and sadness and death, I just don't like them, who normal likes hospitals?!" he took a step backwards, almost falling of the stairs.

"Omi. Sit down."

"On the floor?"

"You showered in a gym locker room and have trouble sitting on the floor?"

He did as you asked. You kneeled down to him and took his face into your hands, causing him to twich a bit. Right, he didn't like that. You decided to put them on his shoulders instead.

You handed him his own water bottle and waiting for him to calm down a bit in silence.

"Omi, do you have any bad memories related to hospitals?" you asked gently, curling his hair with one finger. The one physical thing he really liked was you playing with his hair.

He shook his head yes, but didn't say anything.

"Okay. Do you consider them dirty, and that's why you don't want to go?"

He nodded again.

"Is there any other reason, besides these two?"

He shook his head no.

"Do you want to tell me what happened that made you hate hospitals? You don't have to, if you don't feel comfortable enough with me."

"I'll tell you later" he said quietly, looking away. He was speaking much slower and calmer than before, so you prevented the panic.

"Alright, now, listen, does it hurt more if I move it?" you asked, lifting his finger just a bit, and noticing tears form in the corners of his eyes. "Okay, it does. Now, Kiyoomi, I know you're a reasonable and mature person, and you understand the difficulties it might bring in the future if we don't check what's wrong now, right? It can be just hurt, but it seems like it's broken. If we fix it now, you'll be off for a month tops, and if we don't, well it may haunt you for a lot longer. That's logical, right?"

He nodded unwillingly, knowing where this is going.

"I understand your aversion, but some things are just beyond our control, right? So, you need to act like the man you are, and let me take you to a doctor. Alright?"

This time it took him a second to nod.

"Smiles... can you promise me two things?" he said so quietly you barely heard him, but as there was no one left in the hallway, you manage to understand.

"Whatever you want, Omi."

"Can you please, please not tell anyone about this? I'm really embarassed right now." He was still facing away, his eyebrows frowning.

"Of course I won't. We wouldn't like them to know you're not so tought and douchy all the time, right?" you laughed but he only smiled apologetically. "Hey, Omi, one thing. I'll like you the same, even if there's something in the world that you're afraid of. Even if there's a lot of these somethings. In fact, Omi, I'm sure there's nothing that would make me stop liking you, alright? You don't need to get embarassed in front of me. You don't need to get defensive every time you feel something. You're human, it's actually good you do. Understood, Sakusa?" you added the last part in a very demanding voice, as if you were scolding him, but you failed and giggled at the end.

"Understood." he responded, feeling a bit reassured. "Now that you've said that... for the second thing, uhm..." He started playing with his sweatpants' material nervously.

"Just say it, Omi, I already told you I'll do it all" you said comforting him, still pretending to give all your attention to his hair, so he'd feel more comfortable.

"Could you maybe... go into the examination room with me? I will freak out alone" he asked, facing the floor, but then got up quickly and turned away. "No, wait, forget I said anything."

"Omi" you sighed "Stop acting like a big baby already, of course I will, I would even if you didn't ask. Now stop pouting and give your prom date a hand so she knows you won't run away when she's not looking" you played it off cool and he turned back to you, smiling a bit.

"Right, my prom date. I never thought I'd have one"

"But I'm here, am I not? And now stop changing the subject and let your prom date take you to a doctor. Right now, mister!"

You left the school and went to the nearest train station, where Sakusa put on his face mask and pouted at you for making him do this. However heartbreaking he might've looked, you knew it was necessary and that you were doing the right thing. Your train arrived on time and after getting in, you noticed his leg was shaking unconsciously. You were really wondering what happened to him that made him hate hospitals so much, but this wasn't the right place to ask. If he wanted to, he'd tell you himself.

"So, Omi, what was that with asking me to come over before? You'd never done that." you decided to change the subject a bit to maybe loosen him up for a while.

"Well, that's a difficult question, actually" he answered very quietly, causing you to sit closer in order to hear.

"I'm only asking because, you know, many times in the past I wanted to do that but you always became practically furious while disagreeing, so it's a huge suprise for you to suggest it yourself"

"I know" he replied calmly, playing with the string of your hoodie with his one good hand. "Well I just figured, if I am to take you to prom, and there's going to be way too many people for me to be comfortable, maybe it'd be easier if I started with smaller things, like maybe show you my room, or hold your actual hand instead of the sleeve, so I don't freak out and let you down on the prom night" he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

You felt your chest fill up with a warm feeling. Did he truly care that much about a highschool party? Did he care that much about, well, you?

"Omi, you don't have to push yourself too hard just to please me, I'll be fine if you just stay yourself" you said, taking the hair off his eyes. "And besides, it would be really hard for you to let me down, don't worry about that."

"It's just that... I know I can be a total dick sometimes, but truth be told I really do... like you, and care about you, and all that stuff" he stopped to hide his face with his arms and  bend over to face the floor. "Even if I say I don't. It's just a weird feeling I didn't want to face because it was new. But I'm not letting that ruin your highschool memories."

"Sakusa. Let me tell you something about girls and prom, alright? For most of us it's not the prom that matters. Of course, it's nice to have an opportunity to dance with your friends and classmates and have fun, but for that, we can go alone. That whole thing with waiting for a guy to ask you out is so, so cliché! We don't wait to be asked to prom just to be asked. We wait for that one person to show affection towards us by asking, that's what makes it so special. And you already did that! You wouldn't even be able to understand how happy that made me! Just yesterday I was texting with my friend, complaining about how pleased I would be if only you asked me, but I was certain that would never happen. And then it did, when I least expected it!"

"Did it really make you that happy?" he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yes, yes it did, I'm a stupid teenager and silly things like that satisfy me. Got a problem with that, Sakusa?" you laughed, playfully hitting him on the arm.

"Oh no, no, please, do continue being an immature baby" he responded, in a much better mood, not trying to hide his wide smile anymore.

"You're the baby here, I wasn't the one who almost cried like five minutes ago..."

"Hey! I told you not to bring that up!"

"Sorry, sir, I forgot my orders" you saluted ironically, making him roll his eyes in amusement.

And once you said that, the train door opened and the mechanic voice inside croacked out the name of the station, which turned out to be the one you needed to leave on.

And once you did, you could already see the modern building of the hospital in front of you.

"I hate the fact that I was ever born, I'd like a receipt so I can return myself"

**

You somehow managed to get him inside the hospital, and even to get an examination, although he didn't even want to sit, only standed and while doing so, made sure he didn't touch the walls.

But turns out waiting for the doctor was the worst part yet. He was walking back and forth throught the corridor, hands in his hair, and eyes closed most of the time. You were constantly giving him worried looks, but he didn't seem to notice.

The doctor said he'd be back with the results of the x-rey examination in about twenty minutes, but has already been fourty and he still wasn't back.

"Smiles" you suddenly heard Sakusa next to you and flinched in shock, realising you have zoned out. "What if it's serious and I won't be able to play anymore?"

"Well that certainly would've been dramatic, considering you're the number one spiker"

"Smiles! That doesn't help, like, at all!" he looked at you with pure panic in his eyes, and you were then sure that his distress had something to do with his past memories.

"Okay, okay Omi, calm down, I'm sure it's not that serious."

"You were the one who said it was!" Sakusa shouted.

"Shh, Omi, you're being too loud. Hey, why do you keep your eyes closed like that? Are you tired?" you asked. Well, of course he was, he played an entire match, and has been under a lot of stress ever since, not to mention it was already evening.

He nodded.

"They why won't you sit?"

He shook his head.

"I'd rather have my insides bleached and washed mechanically than do that" he then added, making you burst into laughter. He also smiled a bit.

"Shh, Smiles, you're being too loud" did he just mock you? Such a baby.

"Do you mind telling me now why are you so nervous about hospitals? You're a semi-professional, you know even a broken finger can't put you away for long, and still, you're this upset."

He sighed, looking into the ceiling as if he was trying to find something there. He started to play with his fingers out of nervousness, waiting to find the right words.

"Do you remember when I said my parents went to South Korea to see my aunt? Well, they're working people, they wouldn't just leave in the middle of May, on a monday, like it was nothing. They actually went over there to celebrate my cousin's fifth death anniversary, so she wouldn't be alone on such a day. He was one of my closest friends, growing up, while they still lived in Japan, but he would get sick very easily, so we'd mostly play in his room. One day, he disappeared from his house, and my parents wouldn't tell me why for weeks. I was miserable, so finally, they decided to have a serious talk with me about why my cousin couldn't play with me anymore. They said he was really ill this time and had to be transported to a hospital. And you know what I said?" you noticed he was now clenching his fists and frowning, trying to hold back emotions. "Turns out I wasn't always such a douchebag. I said that's okay, but he must be really lonely, so I'll just come play with him there. And so, my parents would bring me to see him a few times a week until we were twelve. Then I started noticing that he was becoming thinner and thinner day by day, his complexion was as pale as the walls around, and he had no energy to talk with me anymore. I would just come there and sit by his bed for hours, waiting for him to even say hi to me, but it was rare of him to do it. One time, when I was there, it was already late in the afternoon, so my parents came back with my aunt to pick me up, but as they were talking to the doctor in the hall, I heard all the machines around start to make high pitched noises. My cousin didn't look pale anymore, I only took my eyes off his for a second, because I was tired, and he turned grey, like paper. So I rushed up to him and shook his entire body, but it seemed so weightless, I already knew something was off. And the machines, they wouldn't stop making that awful noise... I ran back to the hallway and screamed at my mother and aunt to see what was happening, so they went in there and told me to wait... I was sitting there, in the hall, for what seemed like an eternity, and turned out to be an entire night. After many hours, my mother left the room, her eyes red and swollen, and alltogether she seemed smaller than when she entered. I asked her what was wrong but well, she wouldn't tell me. She'd just hug me, but I remember it being terrible, not like these warm, fuzzy hugs she always gave, but suffocating and trapping, so I started crying. She told me she loved me and went back to get my aunt, who left the room crying even harder then I was, practically screaming. Then she looked at me with such hatred in her eyes, I could practically feel my heart shatter. My mother escorted her to a different room, and I was left there to witness my cousins bed being carried out of the room, a small figure of a boy all covered by a sheet, even his face... I even noticed a teddy bear, a birthday present from me, sticking out."

You were shocked, but to the point where you couldn't even bring yourself to move, listening to Sakusa tell this sad story with a voice washed from all emotions, but with one single stream of tears rolling down his cheek. You wished you could say something, but words couldn't get out of your mouth.

"And that's why I'm not in Korea with them right now. Not because I had a match, but because she never wants to see me again, even though I'm her sister's son. After all, I was the messenger who told her about her precious son's death, wasn't I? So what if I was a kid and didn't even understand what was going on, so what if I was heartbroken myself. It wasn't a grown up's logical decision, but her emotions speaking through her, my mother had told me, but countless times at the funeral, or after, before she finally moved, had she told me she hates me. I even remember one time at my mother's birthday party, she got really drunk, and when I went down from my room to get some water, I ran into her in the kitchen. She looked at me with no emotions whatsoever and just told me she wished it were me. Just that. And then she left." Sakusa began laughing "So yeah, you can say I hate hospitals."

You adored watching him laugh, but that scared you, that wasn't his normal, vibrant laugh, but a sarcastic one, full of venom.

"Kiyoomi..."

"I guess I just don't want to be bad news to anybody, I don't want to see any more suffering that I cannot do anything about!" tears started forming in his eyes as he smashed his fist against the wall.

Well, that was heartbreaking to watch.

What could you say to him that would make him feel better? There were no words right for explaining a trauma like that. How would you even begin?

"Kiyoomi, there's nothing we can do about that now. And there's nothing you could've done then. True, the world isn't fair. It takes away the people who had done nothing wrong when they didn't even start their life properly. And true, there are scary things waiting for us around every corner. But bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it. You just have to keep going... for the two of you. If you want to truly make a difference, and not let his short life go to waste. I'm not sure there's anything more I can say, because I know how much you hate sugarcoating. I—"

"Smiles?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really proud you consider me to be the tough guy here, but... you're a better hugger than my mom" he whispered, still facing the ceiling.

"Sure, Omi" you said, wrapping your arms around his waist. It was difficult to give him a comfort hug, considering the fact you were tiny compared to his 6,2", but what could you do. You felt him lean over and squeeze you really, really tight, his arms shaking a bit, as he put his face in your hair, making you able to feel him breathe.

"Smiles?" he said quietly, smiling as he felt you holding the material of his jacket. You only mumbled in response, so he carried on with his question. "I'm really tired."

You didn't know how to react to that, honestly. You had never seen him like this before, he was always hiding behind a cold and douchy exterior.

"Just a few more minutes, and we'll be going home" you finally responded, patting his back. "The doctor has to tell you the results and somehow secure that finger from getting even more hurt"

"We'll be going home?" he asked, and you felt embarassement rise in your stomach.

"Well... you DID say you're inviting me over, and I don't trust you not to play with the bandage you're gonna get"

He laughed, as sweetly as normal, and you sighed with relief.

"I suppose I  might've said something like that."

"Well then be a man and live up to your promise"

"I never PROMISED anything"

"Oh come on, you know you want to, I'm your prom date!" You laughed, but all of the sudden you felt a movement and before you could object, you were mid air, held by Sakusa's tight grip, your face very near his.

"I suppose you are" you saw him smile behind his face mask, but were too shocked by this sudden burst of affection to be able to answer.

"Now, Sakusa-kun, I highly suggest you stop doing that to your hands, unless you want another injure to the list" you heard an adult speaking behind you, and the next thing you knew, you were falling to the ground, glaring deadly at Sakusa, who's attention was already somewhere else. "Come in, I'll show you your results"

Turns out the finger was just badly injured, but still not broken, so Sakusa only needed to take three weeks of holidays from playing volleyball, and as the season had ended, it wasn't a very dangerous threat. You were now walking home from your train station, Sakusa's eyes constantly closing, due to tiredness. Your heart was pounding it's way out of your chest, when he finally opened the gateway to his house, and stepped to the side to let you in. You felt blush coming to your cheeks while he turned the key inside his door's lock. You were looking closely at everything after entering the house. It was close to what you've imagined, designed in a modern style, the walls grey or white, black tiles on the floor.

"You must be hungry, right?" he said, leading you to the kitchen by the sleeve of your hoodie. "Wait right here, I'm sure there's something that I can make"

You sat on a kitchen counter, making him raise an eyebrow in slight shock.

"Practice, Sakusa" you laughed "I'm just helping you"

He rolled his eyes and put noodles in a pot on his stove.

"Move, I need to get my knife" he said, easily picking you up and putting you on another counter. You turned away, blushing uncontrollably.

"Oh my, okay, Sangwoo" you said, making him want to kill you with his look. "Wait, you understood the reference? Look at you, being a weeb"

"Well he was an interesting person after all" he said weighing the knife in his hand with a sarcastic grin on his lips. He then proceeded to prepare the best tomato sauce you've ever EVER eaten in your entire life. He turned as red as the tomatoes when you pointed that out, only telling you to shut up and eat already.

You helped him clean, but he wasn't so happy about it, claiming your "dishwashing habits" were different than his.

And then it was finally the time for you to see his room. You followed his up the stairs, and then entered a room you've least expected.

It was... completely normal. It wasn't clean on every centimetre, it wasn't all white and septic, no, it was just a normal teenage boy's room. His Itachiyama Team hoodies laying around on the deskchair, a big computer with gaming headphones, a small bookshelf with novels and even some mangas,  a huge bed in the corner, draped with black bedding and Star Wars and Marvel throw pillows. It was clean, of course, there was no dirty dishes or socks laying around, but besides being overall tidy, it was  totally normal.

But what suprised you the most, was the most beautiful being you've ever seen in your entire life, and no, not Sakusa. A fluffy, white cat.

It was a breeded cat, you knew that instantly, even having a heart as good as his Sakusa wouldn't allow a stray in his house, due to his problems with germs. From what you recognized, it was a Birman Cat. You gasped in awe upon seeing it, already kneeling down to pet it.

"Look at you, cutie, who're you? Awwe, look at your little paws, so soft!" the cat already crawled into your lap and sat on your thigs, purring with content. Sakusa laughed.

"You probably think we took in Lady because I needed a thoroughbred cat, not a stray right?" he picked up, throwing himself on his bed, leaving the jacket on top of other on the deskchair. He was now only in his grey sweatpants and yellow T-shirt, being a little loose, even on someone as tall as him. He groaned, realizing he forgot about his finger and now pinned it down weight of his body, whch caused it to hurt more. He then decided to sit, resting his back on the throw pillows. "Well, you're wrong if you think that. We actually decided on her because her breed has hair instead of fur, which my mother is allergic to.

Oh.

"The only thing I'm thinking right now is that Sakusa Kiyoomi named his cat LADY, and it's hillarious"

But what you were in for witnessing next was cuter than the cat itself.

"Well, that's because she is my little Lady, right?" he said in a sweet and high-pitched voice, deciding to ditch the comfortable bed and sit on the floor beside you, scratching the cat behind it's ear. "Who's my Lady? Who? Yes, you are!" he started to sound like a fourty year old lady with no family and nine cats. You bursted out laughing.

You suddenly stopped, when Lady decided it would be a great idea to... vomit on you. It was all happening so fast you didn't even notice, until you heard her clear her throat and then watched her walk away in shock. You looked at your dirty hoodie and then at the frightened Sakusa next to you, already as white as his walls.

"Oh... uhm... that was unexpected" you said, not sure what to do next.

"I am so, so s-sorry" he started to apologize "She must've e-eaten something b-bad while I was gone" he mumbled, getting up and walking around his room as if he was going to find something that could help him.

Normally he would get his mom, but she wasn't even in the country.

"Omi, it's okay, don't worry" you said, taking your hoodie off carefully, so it wouldn't mess up the carpet or anything else. "Just, would you show me where the bathroom is?" you asked, and he nodded, leading you to the door at the end of the corridor. "Thanks" you added, putting the material in the sink and running hot water on it. Most of it came off pretty easily, and nothing else got dirty in the process, but you noticed a big stain on the chest area.

"Shit, put it in the washer" he said, taking it from you, to your suprise, and turning on the machine. Then he went back to his room, all red, and took something out of his closet. "Here, take this, I forgot to turn the radiators on, and it's cold" and thus he handed you a black hoodie, with a single yellow stip on the side, and "Sakusa" written on the back, with smaller "Itachiyama Academy Volleyball Club" below.

You froze in place.

"Wait, why are you giving me your hoodie?" you said, after gasping dramatically.

"Just take it you idiot, before I change my mind" he answered bitterly, walking over to turn on his computer. "Do you want to watch something while we wait for it to wash?" he then asked in a much calmer tone, and you silently agreed. He put on some movie you spent twenty minutes choosing, because it needed to match both yours and his interests, and after he did, you sat on the floor, focusing on the screen. "Are you dumb?" he suddenly muttered.

"What?"

"Sit on the bed like a normal person" you were suprised, but he didn't need to ask twice. You sat there, uncomfortably, at the edge of the matterace, until you heard a sigh  and felt strong arms pull you back, almost to the wall. You noticed you were now half sitting, half laying on Omi's chest, legs over his, plus, he putted his chin over your head.

"Omi, what has gotten into you?" you laughed, making him sigh again.

"Do you have some sort of a problem?" he answered, visibly nervous.

"No, no I don't sir!"

"I swear I sometimes wonder why I'm attracted to a dumbass like you"

"You're WHAT?" you said, your heart skipping a beat.

"Nothing! Just watch already!" he shouted.

You giggled.

Minutes have passed and you two were just sitting there, chilling and watching the movie. You felt Sakusa's head slip over yours. Had he fallen asleep? You smiled, looking at the peaceful expression on his face. After seeing him so tired and distressed today, you were really glad he was finally getting some rest. You adjusted his head to lay by your neck instead, so it wouldn't slip all the time. The music in the movie started playing really loudly, so you turned it down and started to check your phone, while curling his hair with your fingers.

Oh, he's gonna be so grossed out when he wakes up, you almost felt bad for him for a second.

It was oddly calming to feel his even breathing on your neck, and you suddenly realized how much has changed that day. Twenty four hours before you were wondering if he'd ever even ask you out on a date, and now you were sitting on his bed, with him asleep on your neck, knowing he was going to take you to prom.

Oh, truly, what a day.

**

prom night, 6:28 PM

You were still fighting with your eyeshadow, when you heard the doorbell ring. Shit, that looks awful, you thought, trying to erase your mistake and do it once more. "I'll get it!" you heard your little sister shout, and smiled to yourself. The night was finally here. You were going to prom with Sakusa Kiyoomi, somehow, you still didn't know what heavensent force made him ask you.

"It's someone for sis!" she yelled.

"Tell them I'll be right there!" you shouted back, but she seemed to have ignored you, because soon after you heard your mother invite the two boys over. (Komori's sister had a licence and a car, so she was driving you all)

"Good evening, ma'am" you heard your prom date say. You almost saw him all nervous with the eyes of your imagination.

Fine, you thought, it won't get better than this. It was time to go. You took a quick look at yourself in the bigger mirror. The dress wasn't spectacular, and you did your make up by yourself, so of course you didn't look like Hollywood's next biggest star on the red carpet, but you definitely did look better than usual.

You took your purse, sprayed some perfume, and went down the stairs, watching every step,  because you couldn't seem to get the hang of walking on heels yet.

"Hi guys!" you said, still watching your feet, but got no response. It seemed like everyone was there, your mom, dad, sister, Sakusa and Komori, but nobody had said a thing. You finally looked up when you reached the bottom of the stairs, to see your parents smiling slightly, your sister pouting over how jealous she was of your spotlight, Komori watching Sakusa, and Sakusa, well...

He looked as if he'd just seen a ghost.

"What's wrong, Omi?" you asked, giggling. He was still silent, so Komori hit him on the back.

He didn't look so bad himself, all the loose curls that were always framing his pale face were now carefully styled to stay at the top, not the sides. His suit was a plain, black one, with a single yellow bow tie, matching Komori's.

"You look great, by the way" you added, upon still not hearing anything from him.

Only then did he smile a bit and take a bouquet from behind his back, then hand it to you.

"That's for you. They're your favorite—"

"Freesies" you finished, looking at the white flowers in awe. "You remembered" you added, already feeling all the emotions rushing to your head. "They're beautiful, thank you"

"Well, you're still the most beautiful in the room" he mumbled, his face red. You chuckled upon hearing that cheesy phrase.

"Smooth" Komori whispered, laughing, and Sakusa promised himself to kill him later that night.

Everything went as you'd imagine it to go, you drived to your school, saw the huge crowd of students everywhere around. You smiled at Sakusa while he opened the cardoor for you, and looked at him in shock as he took your hand into his and intertwined your fingers together.

"I thought you didn't like doing that?"

"That's what people do at proms, right?" he said, smiling at you widely "I'm going to do it all, prepare for the cheesiest night of your life" he then faced away, leading you towards the entrance.

Little did you know, inside, he was practically shaking, upon seeing all these people around. He was right, there were too many of them for him to be comfortable. He was already nervous and wanted to leave, and the night hadn't even started.

"Sakusa-san! I didn't think you'd come here!" You heard some girl said. You recognized the captain of the girls' volleyball team, smiling widely, while draped all over her boyfriend. Captain Tsukasa somehow appeared from the crowd, joining the converstation by hanging his arm on the boy's shoulders, which almost caused a shiver down his spine.

"Now, how could he miss this? He's our dear ace after all, right, Sakusa-kun?"

"Right, captain" he responded, the fakest smile you've ever seen colouring his lips.

"Enjoy the party, Saku!" said Tsukasa before leaving, heading back towards the main gym arena, from which loud music could be heard.

Enjoy, yeah, right, you idiot, thought Sakusa.

He only wished he could be enjoying the party like everyone else, because then he could just focus on you and making sure you wouldn't regret coming. But he wasn't made like everyone else, and the level of comfort he felt was descreasing at a very rapid speed.

The night was going great, at least from your point of view. Hours have passed, you laughed, danced, even watch the Prom Queen election. You didn't even wish it were you up there on that stage. You already felt like a queen.

But then it all decided to go to hell.

Komori had found his place with the kids who were spiking the drinks, and now came back to you two with a questionable grin on his mouth.

"Sup, my dear lovebirds?" he started the conversation by messing Sakusa's hair playfully, only for him to correct it with disgust.

"Good, but I seem you're even better" you responded with amusement, watching him rock from side to side.

"You know, Sakusa, I never knew why you insisted on calling her Smiles, it's such a dumb nickname"

"You're dumber."

"But! But now I get it! There's an old saying..."

"I'm sure whatever your about to say isn't an old saying"

"Stop interrupting me! There's an old saying that claims, that when a boy is in love, you see it in his eyes, but when a girl is in love, you see it in her smile. Is that why you insist on calling her that? Are you counting on that, Saku-chan? I mean, she is out of your league a bit, but, I'm rooting for you, buddy!" he said, and started to walk away slowly. "Besides, Smiles, watch his eyes up close!" he laughed, and began to dance to the music that changed suddenly when he finished the sentance. It was dark around you, but you still managed to notice Sakusa's face turning red.

"I'm going to kill you, I swear, I'll strangle you with your own vocal chords and make you wish you were suddenly Ariel and forgot how to speak!" he yelled, getting more and more nervous.

He was right, you were out of his league. And he embarassed yourself in front of you a week earlier, acting like a four-year-old, and needing your help. You probably considered him a pussy right now... So all the effort he did over the last few months was for nothing. He felt like throwing up again. Suddenly the walls around him started to get closer and closer, making it seem like there was even more people there, the music became louder and in a moment he only heard the base guitar trying to rip his ears apart. And in front of him were you, looking at him with that worried expression. He remembered himself saying, "Nothing sucks more than someone calling you a poor thing"

And your eyes were calling him that right then and there. He felt small, but furious, and overall miserable.

"Omi, are you feeling okay? He was just joking, you know that, right?" you said with a slight grin on your face.

"Oh, sure, because your little Omi is just a big crybaby for whom you're just waiting to snap and run away, right? Ever since this night started, you're all looking at me like at a fucking social experiment, counting minutes until I won't be able to take it anymore, right?"

"What? Kiyoomi, that's not—"

"Shut up! Oh my god, shut up, with your condesending tone and pretending to understand how I feel! If you so wanted to babysit someone then, I don't know, watch the neighbours kid instead of playing with me like that, you idiot!" he shouted, not noticing a couple of people closest to you watching him. "If that's what you're waiting for, then fine, have your satisfaction!"

And after saying that, he turned away and started to walk towards the exit to the patio. You knew you had to follow him, but didn't know whether he wanted you to.

You decided to go.

Once he found himself at the empty patio, he put his hands over his knees and looked up at the night sky, catching his breath.

"What the fuck was that, Sakusa?" he whispered to himself, realising he had now ruined his only chance with the one girl he actually liked. And how he did it, oh lord, like a total baby he so didn't want to be compared to. He decided to loosen up his bow tie, because it seemed like it was suffocating him, and tried to calm down. "Fuck, how stupid can you get? Oh my god!"

"Omi! Could you please, PLEASE, stop running away?" he heard your voice behind his back, and turned away as soon as he did, feeling tears rolling down his face.

"Go away" he said in an empty voice, but you just shook your head.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like a child"

There was silence for a long minute, as he was fighting with his emotions.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you on your big prom night"

"Silly" you laughed "It's only big if you're a part of it"

He smiled a bit.

"You know I didn't mean that, right?"

"I always know you don't mean that."

"Well, yeah, but I wish you wouldn't have to. I just felt super uncomfortable in that room with all these people, I am not that kind of person you'd want, I'm not the super fun jock guy to take you to prom and all that shit, that's just really not me, and I tried to, I really tried to become one for you but it's just... it's just not who I am" he sighed.

"Omi. For fucks sake. You don't need to change yourself at all, I like you for you, not for someone you're not! Where did you get that idea from, dumbass?"

Well, Komori, he thought.

You moved closer to him, and he sat on a stone bench,  making you stand in between his legs, looking directly into his eyes. "I would never, ever, EVER, trade you for anyone else. You're perfect the way you are, and well..." you felt the heat coming to your cheeks. "You're the Omi I fell for, after all"

You heard him giggle, and felt the warmth of his hand against your own.

"Yeah?" he said, looking up at you. "Go on then" a proud grin appeared on his lips that caused you to hit him on the shoulder in embarassement. But you did eventually go on.

"Well, there is one more thing I'd like to say but I don't think I have the courage to do it" you mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sure you do"

"Oh, you know, well... I, uhm, when I look... at... no wait, that's not how i wanted to say it. You know when... no, wrong again" You suddenly heard a slow song in the distance, coming from the gym. "Oh I love that song"

"Well" he said, getting up "I believe one of the prom night traditions is a slow dance with your date, right?" he then continued, putting both his hands on your waist and starting to sway, pulling you even closer than you already were. "And Smiles, one more thing" he adden, upon leaning over to your ear and whispering a simple sentence. You trembled, not even sure if it was from the cold, or from excitement, or from his lips so close to your face. "I do, too"

You laughed, hiding your face in his shirt and breathing in the perfume.

"You really did mean it when you said you were going to do all the cheesy stuff"

"Shut up, dumbass, I really meant it"

"I know."