#Lucas wolenczak x you

[stephstars08]

On-Screen Kiss

Jonathan Brandis x Actress!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, A tiny bit of Angst but mostly Fluff, and Possible Grammar Errors. (Don’t think I forgot any!!)

Summary: Y/N is an actress and one of the main characters on a TV show called SeaQuest. Her best friend is her co-star Jonathan who she also has a secret crush on. When her character is to kiss Jonathan’s character she can’t help but get really nervous about it even though her older sister tells her it will all be fine.

Word Count: 1,542

Author’s Note: BIG NOTE! WHEN THE FONT GOES INTO ITALIC, THAT’S WHEN YOU AND JONATHAN ARE FILMING THE KISSING SCENE!

Y/N plays Melanie Westphalen on a TV show called SeaQuest. She’s been on the show since the first season. She plays a teenage intern nurse, and the daughter of another character named Dr. Kristen Westphalen. When the show got picked up for season two Y/N agreed to return even though the actress that plays her mom wasn’t set to return. Y/N is close with all of her co-stars, but she has to be the closest with Jonathan who plays Lucas Wolenczak. They are both the same age and are younger than the cast so that’s why they clicked so easily.

When Y/N returned on set for the first day back she learned that her character and Jonathan’s will be love interests for season two. A lot of viewers really wanted them to be become a couple in season two, so the writers did it. Y/N was doing fine with the storyline till she got the script for the next episode they will be filming. The episode ends with Y/N’s character kissing Jonathan’s character.

The reason why Y/N is so nervous is because she has an enormous crush on her blue-eyed co-star. The only person that knows about her crush on her best friend is her older sister, Kira. Kira has been trying to get Y/N to just tell Jonathan about her feelings, but Y/N is too scared to.

What if she tells him and he rejects her, and things become awkward between them? That’s another reason why she’s nervous about the on-screen kiss. She doesn’t want things to become awkward between her and her only best friend.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Today was the day of the on-screen kiss and Y/N’s nerves were pacing all through her body. She was in her trailer with big sister there for emotional support. “I don’t know if I can do this, Kira.” Y/N told her with nothing but nervousness in her tone. “Y/N, it’s just your nerves talking. It’s all going to go fine.” Kira reassured her. “Like the director told you, it’s just going to be one take.” Kira added but she could still the nervousness in her sister’s Y/E/C eyes.

Kira took both of Y/N’s hands in hers. “Y/N, you are living out your dream job. You’ve been dreaming of becoming a big actress ever since you were ten years old. You were born for this role, and you can’t let one scene scare you off.” Kira told her in a stern tone. “Everyone knows you can do this. You just got to tell yourself that you can do it.” Kira added giving Y/N a comforting smile.

A knock was heard on the door of the trailer. “Y/N, you’re needed on set.” She heard one of the crew members tell her. “I’ll be right out.” Y/N called out to the crew member. “I’ll be right here if you need me and if you feel like your nerves are taking over just repeat what I just told you in your head.” Kira told her. “Okay?” Kira asked which earned her a nod from Y/N. “Okay.” Y/N told her. She let go of Kira’s hands and made her way out the trailer.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Okay everyone on their marks.” The director called out. “And…Action!” The director called out.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Melanie was sitting on her bed in her room with some tears rolling down her cheeks. She let out a heavy sigh when she heard a knock on her door. “Go away! I don’t want to talk!” Melanie called out to whoever knocked on the door. “Mel, it’s me. Lucas.” She heard his soft voice say from the other side of the door. Melanie wiped away her tears as she stood up onto her feet. She walked over to the door and opened it to see Lucas standing there with a concern look on his face.

“Lucas, I’m fine.” Melanie told him with an obvious lie. “Really? Because I can see it in your eyes that you’re not fine.” Lucas said noticing the tears that filled her eyes. “Just go away.” Melanie told him turning away from him. Lucas let out a sigh as he walked into the room and shutting the door.

“How could I be so stupid.” Melanie hissed out as tears made their way down her cheeks again. “He’s the stupid one, not you.” Lucas told her. “He’s the one that cheated on a smart and beautiful girl.” Lucas added which took Melanie by surprise. Melanie turned around and looked at him with a surprised look in eyes. “You think I’m beautiful?” Melanie asked him. “To me you are.” Lucas said as he walked closer towards her.

“He doesn’t deserve your love. You deserve to be with someone that treats you like you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world.” Lucas told her with a soft smile on his face. Melanie stared up into his eyes. As Lucas stared back into her eyes, he put one of his hands onto one of her cheeks. “May I?” Lucas asked her. Melanie gave him a nod. Lucas leaned in and connected his lips with hers. Theirs lips moved perfectly in sync with one another’s.

When they pulled away from the thirty seconds kiss, they stared at each other with love and comfort in their eyes. “I’m still stupid.” Melanie told him. “What? Why?” Lucas asked her with confusion in his voice. “Because.” Melanie started as she took his hand off her cheek and held onto it. “My dream boy was in front of me the whole time and I was so stupid that I didn’t see it earlier.” Melanie told him as her lips turned up into a smile. Lucas returned the smile as he gave her hand a light squeeze.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“And cut!” The director called out. “Good job Y/N and Jonathan. Go and take fifteen minutes.” The director told them.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After the kissing scene Y/N avoided Jonathan off screen. Yes, the kissing scene went perfectly fine but for some odd reason Y/N just couldn’t face Jonathan by herself.

Jonathan noticed the distance going on between him and Y/N and it quickly worried him. After he shot his last scene of the day he went to Y/N’s trailer to talk to her, but he got no answer, so he figured she had already left for the day. He decided to just talk to her first thing tomorrow when he arrives on set.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was the next day and Y/N had just got to the set. She was sitting in her trailer going over her lines when she heard a knock on the trailer door. “Who is it?” Y/N called out as she flipped the page of her script. “It’s Jonathan.” She heard his voice say which made her go into shock. She didn’t realize she was into shock till Jonathan called out her name after not responding back to him. “Y/N, you alright?” She heard him ask. She could hear the concern in his voice.

Y/N put her script down onto the small table. She stood up and walked over to the door, opening it. “What are you doing her?” Y/N asked him. “I wanted to know why you were avoiding me yesterday.” Jonathan told her which made her nerves start to pace just like they did yesterday. “I can’t tell you, okay!” Y/N said with frustration in her voice as she turned away from him.

Jonathan walked into the trailer and shut the door behind him. “Y/N, it’s just me. You can tell me anything.” Jonathan told her in reassurance. Y/N just stayed silent. “Does this have to do with our kissing scene from yesterday?” Jonathan asked her which made her let out a sigh. “I was just really nervous about it.” Y/N told him still not looking at him. “Why were you nervous?” Jonathan asked her. “Because I have feeling for you.” Y/N finally confessed to him as she turned around to face him. “You do? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jonathan asked her as he looked at her with a surprised look in his ocean blue eyes. “Because I didn’t want things to become awkward between us and ruin our friendship.” Y/N said as she avoided looking into his eyes. “Well, I can reassure you that neither of those things will happen.” Jonathan reassured her which made her look at him. “It won’t?” Y/N asked him a soft voice. Jonathan shook his head no.

“I have feelings for you, too.” Jonathan confessed with a soft smile. Once he said he feels the same away about her, Y/N felt her nerves finally settle back down. “Wow, I guess my sister was right. I really did have nothing to worry about.” Y/N said with a small giggle trying to hide her embarrassment. Jonathan took one of her hands into his’s.

They started to lean in but before their lips could touch there was a knock on the door interrupting their moment. “Y/N, you are needed on set.” A crew member told her. “I���ll be right out!” Y/N called out trying to hide the annoyance in her tone.

“How about we go grab a bite to eat after we’re done filming.” Jonathan suggested to her. “Sound good?” He asked her. “Sounds perfect!” Y/N answered with the biggest smile on her face.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

Mmmm! This is such a good question.

1) Wrong Place Wrong Time (both parts) - this fic was so fun to write and introduced me to the world of Raymond de Merville. I think the fact I was also deployed at Heathrow Airport on Border Force while I wrote this, made it a really unforgettable writing experience. (Pilgrimage. Raymond x Fem!Reader)

2) A Rose at Twilight - this was being written at a hard time in my life. I was on an SSRI medication and my writing became a huge lifeline. (The Hobbit. Thorin x Fem!Reader)

3) Covert Eyes - I love writing an OC, and the spy world is unlike anything I’ve written before. (Spooks. Lucas North x OC)

4) Anything is Possible - Guy of Gisborne and lots of angst, while going up against impossible odds. Need I say more? Lol! (Robin Hood. Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader)

5) The Right Thing - My first fic back into the world of seaQuest. So fun to write from a nostalgia perspective. (seaQuest DSV/2032. Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader)

Anyone reading this! Please do have a go yourself. I’m not tagging anyone; you’re all welcome to do this.

(All fics can be found on my masterlist which is pinned at the top of my blog)

[luvrlou]

Happy Couple

Pairing: Lucas Wolenczak x GN!reader

Warnings: Very Fluffy, incredibly short

Summary: On Captain Bridger’s tour of the SeaQuest he meets Y/N and Lucas, the only teenagers, and the only ones who can sustain a healthy relationship.

A/N: Have I started watching Seaquest again and remembered how much I love Lucas? Yes. Yes I have. Also I don’t know who the guy who gave Nathan the tour was called so I’ve decided to just not mention him that much.

“What are you up to?” You asked Lucas - your boyfriend - who was currently looking over Darwin’s speaking system.

“Nothing much,” he replied, looking up at you. He pulled you down beside him and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, “I’ve missed you though.”

“I know It’s easy to miss this face,” you joked, causing Lucas to give a childish pout. “Aw I’m kidding! I missed you too,” you chuckled before pecking his lips. He leaned closer into you and buried his head deep into your neck, he sighed in content as you lightly ran your fingers through his soft blonde hair.

“- Oh and that is Lucas and Y/N over there, our happy couple of SeaQuest.” A voice alerted both you and Lucas, you looked to see where the voice was coming from and was greeted by a familiar and unfamiliar face.

“Lucas do you know that guy?” You ask him, he lifts his head and shakes it. He let out a small yawn before burying his head in your neck once more, “so no snide remark?”

“Nope,” he responds before leaving a soft kiss on the crook of your neck, causing you to giggle. You look over at the unfamiliar guy who was now leaning over Darwin’s pool. All of a sudden Darwin’s voice fills the speakers.

That caused Lucas to lift his head, “did Darwin just talk?” The unfamiliar guy asked.

Lucas then spoke up, “yeah, the system can identify his noises and convert them into speech. Wait, weren’t you working on a system like this but then decided on hand signals?”

“Well they worked, didn’t they.” The unfamiliar guy replied. “So can he understand me? He questioned, intrigued by the system.

“Ask him yourself,” Lucas replied, with that he stood up and handed the unfamiliar man a phone-like device. Grabbing your hand and pulling you up beside him afterwards.

“Darwin can you hear me?” He asked, receiving a response from Darwin. He asked a few more questions, ending with what his favourite colour of swimsuit is.

“He’s right, I swim in no swimsuit!” He exclaimed.

“Thanks for putting that image in my head,” you mumbled, received a stifled laugh from Lucas.

“Anyway, me and Y/N should be headed off, or should I say,” Lucas said before doing some hand movements. You giggled at his silly antics and pulled him away.

“You’re such a dork!” You laughed as you reached his bedroom.

“Well I’m your dork,” he replied tilting his head with a cute smile.

You chuckled at his expression, “I don’t know about that,” you then lightly kissed his soft lips. God did you love this boy.

[herdivineshadow]

List top 10 favorite characters not in order (one per series/fandom) and tag 10 people.

Tagged by @hardboiledmeggs

Leia Organa (Star Wars) - I am quite partial to Leia Organa-Solo of the books from back when I was wee but all Leia Organas are good.

Jadzia Dax (Star Trek)

Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)

Anne Elliott (Persuasion)

Eowyn (Lord of the Rings)

Lucas Wolenczak (Seaquest DSV/2032)

Col. T.C. McQueen (Space: Above & Beyond)

Dana Scully (The X-Files)

Miss Marple

Guy of Gisborne (BBC Robin Hood)

10 peeps, tagged if you want: @starkandspangle @formulatrash @alwaysalreadyangry @prairiehamster @annlarimer @leo-cordis @atthelamppost  @ancary @francescadarimini @voidbat

[fizzyxcustard]

The Right Thing

Masterlist of all fanfics/headcanons/prompts here

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Pairings: Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, insecurity, age difference (but legal), language (mild)

Word count: 6505 (a longer one)

Summary: You are a Lieutenant aboard the seaQuest DSV vessel, under Captain Oliver Hudson. You have been aboard for two years and in that time have grown very close to Lucas Wolenczak. But not only are you of higher rank, you are ten years his senior (he’s 20). As your feelings deepen and Lucas opens up to you about how he feels, your anxiety rises. Will everyone be judgemental of you for loving a younger man? Others aboard the boat, and shore leave, help you to see how right you and Lucas are for each other.

Comments: If you have any questions regarding this fic and the fandom, by all means message me. I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback. I will probably try and make graphics for my fics in future if people are interested in reading more of this as I have a full length fic in the works and a prequel one-shot as well. If you would like to be added to my tag list for anything seaQuest related, please leave me a message or comment. The above image shows Captain Oliver Hudson (left) and Ensign Lucas Wolenczak (right) from the show. 

Never before had you felt this awkward, torn and utterly disgusted with yourself. Whenever you sat beside Lucas on the bridge, you could feel his stare now and again as he turned his mesmerising blue eyes from the helm monitor. True, you had always had a very deep friendship with Lucas, who was now an Ensign and seemed to be on duty with you more than any other officer, but the tension was becoming too much. He was two months past twenty and you were the wrong side of thirty. However, most people assumed you to be younger than Lonnie, at twenty-one, but no, the years were against you. In fact, you were the same age as Tim O’Neill.

That day was rather uneventful. Your shift passed by without incident. You laughed with Lucas, Jim Brody and Lonnie in the mess hall. But again, you could sense Lucas’ eyes on you.

Captain Hudson was at a UEO summit meeting, leaving Commander Ford in charge. It was always more laid back and chilled when Jonathan Ford took the helm. No complaints, no shouting, no frustration. Ford had been on seaQuest now since her first tour, along with Lucas and Tim. The rest of the crew, including you, came later. All of you missed Captain Bridger, who had been more than just a Captain, but a friend and a fatherly figure.

“Have you got any plans for shore leave?” Lucas asked you suddenly.

You swallowed hard and turned to face him, pulling your headset from off your head. “Not at the moment, no,” you replied. “You?”

This was all your conversations had become now. Idle chit chat. Whereas when Captain Bridger was still your skipper, you and Lucas would spend time together, laughing at stupid movies, listening to music, taunting Tony Piccolo and simply basking in the things of youth.

Lucas knew there was something very wrong between you both; he could sense it. He didn’t have to be like Wendy Smith, psychic; he could see the cold shoulder that you gave him often. He watched you concentrate on your monitor, staring through the glasses that you always wore when on any computer or when writing. The atmosphere had changed aboard the boat when Captain Bridger left, but surely that wasn’t enough to make you grow cold.

When it was time for shift change, you walked off the bridge with Lucas. Both of you strolled slowly, side by side. “Hey, ummm,” Lucas began, stopping in the corridor. “Can we talk?”

“What about?” you asked.

Lucas sighed at the cold, abrupt edge to your tone. “Us….”

“What do you mean us?”

“No…no. It sounded weird, I know. I’m sorry,” Lucas said, silently grilling himself for sounding stupid. “Things just seem weird. We don’t spend time together like we used to, and I guess I…”

“We’ll talk later. In private,” you told him. Officers were speeding past you, starting and ending the shift rotation. It was too open for such a chat. There was a lot that needed to be said. “I’ll come to your quarters about seven. How’s that?”

“Perfect,” Lucas replied with a smile.

As you parted ways, you felt breath catch in your throat. Your hands shook and tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. You felt something for Lucas and you despised yourself, at just over ten years his senior. You were ashamed of it.

It wasn’t until you ventured from your quarters and down the corridors to Lucas’ shared quarters that you realised just how deep his feelings for you ran. You could distinctly hear his voice as you stopped outside the door, which was slightly ajar. The other person, you assumed, was Tony Piccolo.

“You need to tell her, Lucas,” the second voice came. Sure enough, it was Tony.

You waited outside the door, listening.

“I can’t stop thinking about her, Tony.”

“You’ve said that before with girls.”

“This is different. I barely knew Juliana and Sandra. I’ve spent months with her, and when I am with her, it’s like she’s my age. And she cares. I mean truly cares. Probably because she’s just as alone as I am. But lately she’s grown cold towards me. She won’t speak to me sometimes for almost an entire day. There’s no laughing anymore.”

“It’s pretty hard to laugh around here with Hudson in charge,” Tony replied.

You straightened your back and swallowed hard, bracing yourself and tapped on the door.

A few seconds later and Tony appeared. “I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t mind me,” he said, grinning at you. “Go easy on him.” Tony winked at you. All you could do was grimace and then descend the steps down into the main sleeping area which Lucas and Tony shared.

Lucas looked at you, dressed in jeans, Converse and blouse. How could you be the age you were? You looked twenty-two at most. Everything about you enthralled him; your small and discreet tattoos scattered about your body, your quirky sense of humour, the way you cared for everyone and put them before yourself, the odd looking ornaments you kept on your desk and your taste in rock music. Jim Brody had teased many times how your attitude would be suited with Tony Piccolo. But you needed people who were steady and mature.

Things were silent for a short while as you both stood a couple of feet apart, your hands shoved in pockets. Then you broke the silence and looked at Lucas. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. It’s just…Maybe I’m being arrogant, I don’t know. But I sense that you like me…”

“And does that bother you?” Lucas asked, his hands growing more and more sweaty.

“I’m a lot older than you, Lucas,” you reminded him. “You’ve only just become an adult, and I know you forget my age when we spend time together. I’m still young in my appearance and ways. Maybe I haven’t grown up myself yet.”

“I think you’re amazing,” Lucas said softly. “Why does age have to be an issue? We’re good together; I know that you know that.”

His words made something pour in your stomach and you closed your eyes, trying to shake the feelings away. “Lucas, no. Stop it, please,” you whispered.

“You have feelings for me, too. I know you do. I can see it,” he said, approaching you.

You felt his arm wind around your waist, edging you closer towards him.

“Stop it!” you cried out, pushing him away. “No means no!”

You left his quarters only moments later, leaving Lucas behind to slam his hands down onto his desk. Leaving seaQuest was the only way this would end. Lucas would move on and meet a girl his own age. And you would transfer to another boat, hopefully to ace your officer exams and get promoted to Lieutenant Commander.

That evening was long as you drowned in your own thoughts. How could Lucas be what you needed? Would he be prepared to look towards marriage and children within the next two to five years? You would be rushing him, forcing him to put aside all the years of adventure and experience to build a family. Because that was what you wanted. If you met the right man, then you would gladly take time away from your career. And Lucas seemed to think that man was him.

Around nine, a knock came to your door. Your heart leapt and you gasped, expecting it to be Lucas. But it was Tony. You knew why he was here; it didn’t take a lot for anyone to put two and two together to see the reason for his visit.

You let Tony in and sat back down in your seat. “I know why you’ve come to see me, Tony. Lucas doesn’t see the shame I feel every time I look at him.”

“I wanted to see how you’re doing, too. I know Lucas isn’t always the easiest person to say no to. In that way, he’s still a kid.”

You sighed. “We’re both still kids in a lot of ways. I’m going to put in a request for transfer. It’s the only way to solve this.”

“But you can’t,” Tony exclaimed. “Everyone loves you, you know that. It wouldn’t be the same without you. You bring a bit of life to this place.”

Tony’s words brought a smile to your face. “Thanks. This place feels more like a family than I’ve ever had anywhere else outside of my actual family.”

“Look, if you two really do like each other then nothing should stop you. Some people might think the age gap is weird, but who cares? You’re both single adults.”

You sighed again and reached for your mug of coffee which had started growing cold. “I want to think about marriage and settling down. Does Lucas want that? It’s something that needs to be thought about. I can’t be responsible for slowing him down. He’s still young.”

“And so are you. Man, you’re talkin’ as though you’re fifty. Come on!” Tony said.

You barely slept that night, constantly tossing and turning, thinking of Lucas, whom you doubted was asleep either. The air was warm and stale, and your heart raced, reminding you of the anxiety which you kept hidden. Being a Lieutenant in the Navy meant that you had been aboard vessels under attack, had nearly drowned and been shot in the leg. But it was your indecision and shame that caused you to panic uncontrollably.

Tears poured down your cheeks as you flung your legs out from the covers. You flicked on the table lamp and staggered sleepily to your chair. Writing always calmed you. In a world of discipline, uncertainty and instability, you felt so alone. Friendships were strong between you and the main crew, but you had become the glue holding them together. You listened often to Lonnie deny her budding feelings for Jonathan Ford; Tony Piccolo opened his heart to you about his unconventional family; Lucas relied on you for stability and companionship. Now was the time that you needed someone.

After finishing your journal entry, you ventured out into the corridors, finding the gentle hum of seaQuest to be soothing. In the mess hall, you poured yourself a mug of coffee from the vending machine and took a seat in the back corner of the room.

“I thought I was the only one who had insomnia,” a voice came.

“What? Oh, sorry,” you apologised, raising your head out of your hands to see Jim Brody.

“You okay?” Brody asked, approaching you. He was dressed in his uniform, obviously in the middle of night shift.

“I’ll survive,” you chuckled wryly.

“You don’t sound very convincing, you know?”

There was a sincerity in Brody’s eyes that you had always been drawn to. He never minced his words or failed in keeping his promises.

You sighed deeply and looked at your untouched coffee. “How do you handle it when you like someone but have your reservations?”

“What kind of reservations?”

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell another soul? I’m so ashamed.”

Brody began to look puzzled and slightly nervous. “Umm, okay.”

“Lucas admitted that he has feelings for me, and I know I feel something for him. But the age gap terrifies me, Jim. And you know how sulky he can be when you say no to him.”

Brody smiled and then sighed. “I know you two have always been close, but maybe if you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s something you need to deal with yourself. You’re both adults and it’s down to you both. Don’t try and seek everyone else’s approval.”

“That’s what makes me ashamed: everyone else’s judgement.”

The shame and embarrassment of your admission made you look away and run your shaking hands through your short hair. It made you think back to the day you had your long locks cut off, which was the day before your first tour on seaQuest. It was an almost boyish cut, but there was no mistaking your femininity.”

“It’ll work out, I’m sure. Thanks for listening, Jim,” you said, forcing a smile.

You remained in the mess hall for a short while longer, sipping your coffee. The tall, broad figure of Dagwood drifted past the door as he cleaned. He never noticed you, but you watched him for a couple of seconds; his attention to his duty was unbroken and unwavering.

Sleep finally took you away a couple of hours later. In the dark of your quarters, you began counting. Gradually your heart rate slowed.

Suddenly your alarm was blaring! Pain rested behind your eyes and in your temples. No doubt it would remain with you for the rest of the day.

After a shower, you got dressed into your uniform and headed for the mess hall for breakfast. The bright overhead lights assaulted your eyes, making you wince.

Lucas, Tony and Lonnie were all sat together to the left hand side of the room. You suddenly felt sick, insanely sick. Tony looked at you, his eyes widening. Thankfully Lucas had his back to you. It was impossible for you to avoid him now; once you were up for duty, you couldn’t go back to quarters until the next shift rotation. On an almost mile-long submarine, and you couldn’t hide.

You grabbed fruit and a mug of herbal tea. With a huge sigh, you approached the table where your friends were, a spare seat having been left between Tony and Lucas.

Lucas swallowed hard and shifted in his seat as your perfume wafted up his nose, mixed with the smell of your sweet-scented hand cream.  

“Morning,” you said softly. Your eyes met Lucas’ and you could see the sadness swimming in them.

“You look awful,” Lonnie said. “Are you okay?”

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” you said, forcing another smile. “And it’s caught up with me this morning.”

By now and you could feel your pulse racing, thumping in your head and chest. Your hands were shaking, and you knew the day wouldn’t get any easier. Tony kept watching you as the atmosphere remained tense. Lonnie left a few minutes later, uncomfortable by the silence.

Lucas was looking down most of the time and once Tony had also left, he spoke, but didn’t look at you. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” you admitted, swallowing hard.

Lucas heard the quiver in your voice and finally looked at you. “I’m sorry,” he said simply.

Almost on instinct, you placed your hand on his. “We’ll be okay. Whatever happens, we’ll be okay. Shore leave in two days. We can talk more then.”

That morning seemed to ease some of the tension between Lucas and you. On the bridge, you began to ease back into your laughter. You temporarily forgot your fatigue and the events of the evening previous. Until Lucas held your gaze for a few seconds longer than usual. Normally you looked away, trying to avert his attention elsewhere, but this time you maintained eye contact and smiled.

Tony smirked to himself, recognising that look anywhere.

**

The next two days passed without incident. You felt more at ease now and found yourself making jokes out of mundane things. As it always had, it entertained Tony greatly. The two of you played off each other in the mess hall. A lot of your jokes were at Captain Hudson’s expense. To most people, you outwardly seemed more suited to Tony Piccolo, but those closest to you knew better. The bond you shared with Lucas was unlike any other relationship on the boat. Even though you paled into insignificance when it came to Lucas’ IQ, you could both normally tell what the other was thinking with just one smile.

On the evening before shore leave officially started, Lucas remained in his quarters after shift rotation. There was still a deep pain when he saw you. When you turned your head and smiled, your eyes shining bright, he knew that he would love no other smile. Your attention to detail was unparalleled; that was obvious from the drawings of yours which littered your bedside wall. Your mind didn’t store facts, theories and calculations like Lucas’; it was curious, deep, questioning. You observed deeply. Your genius was in colours, shape, emotion, behaviour. Not cold fact like Lucas.

The Navy had taught you to be disciplined, orderly. No more piles of clothes left at the end of your bed or un-pressed clothing that hoped no one would notice. Why had you even enlisted? Was it your wanderlust? Perhaps. Or maybe it was a way to get away from the ordinary world and embrace your difference.

A sudden knock came to your door, a metallic tap.

“Come in,” you called, placing your copy of The Lord of the Ringsback on your shelf.

Lucas entered, not quite sure why he was even visiting.

“Sorry. I was tidying. You okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied.

“You think so?”

Lucas sat down on the edge of your bed and looked up at you as you placed your hands on your hips.

“Please don’t do that. You remind me of my mom,” he chuckled.

Somehow, that comment didn’t amuse you quite as much as it did Lucas. It hit a rather raw nerve that you had hoped you had figured out how to manage.

Lucas got up from his spot and stood before you, being slightly taller. “What?” he asked. You turned your head, shame surging through you again. But just then, the gentlest touch came to your cheek. Lucas’ large blue eyes were full of concern and adoration for you. His hand cupped your face and seconds later, you felt his lips against yours. Soft, unsure, but above all, kind. The kiss of a young man, some ten years your junior, was enough to remind you that there was still kindness in the world, especially amongst the male of the species.

Realisation hit you hard in the stomach and you turned from the kiss. You heard Lucas sigh and stepped back. “Have you thought about this properly? We’re at different stages in our lives. You’re just starting out in your adult years to find out what you’d like…”

Lucas cut you off. “You talk as though I have no idea what I want.”

You looked at him sadly, seeing the frustration in his face. “What experience have you had? Do you know if you want to get married? Have children? These are probably things you haven’t even considered yet. I’ve been forced to push it aside because I’m too different.”

Lucas remained quiet, not quite sure what to say.

“Please think on this more,” you said.

“I have,” he said in desperation, his hands cupping your face again. “I want to be with you, and whatever you want, you can have it.” His voice became a whisper and you kissed again.

You woke a few hours later at just after one in the morning. There was a solid warmth against your back and an arm draped over you. The two of you had fallen asleep after an evening of chatter and cuddles under the blanket.

In all the time that you had known Lucas, which was two years, you had never seen him smile so much as he had done that evening. True, since enlisting in the Navy, Lucas had had to grow up somewhat and that change in him had been amazing, going from a boy to a man. A seriousness had settled in him, overriding the boyishness.

You slid out of bed and positioned the blanket back over Lucas. He rolled over and mumbled in his sleep. Something about this still felt wrong. It made you concerned that everyone would see it as predatory. Everything that felt wrong was pushing you to begin writing up that transfer request. Crew from the infamous seaQuest were always welcomed aboard other UEO vessels. The sub still remained the pinnacle of the fleet, highly sought after by new officers for their first tour. A reserve list with thousands of names on had been written up, and if you left, then you’d open a door to someone more deserving of their placement. Allowing Lucas to get close to you had been an abuse of your authority.

“You’re making a habit of this, ain’t you?” Brody laughed, finding you in the mess hall again at an ungodly hour for the second time that week.

“Maybe I am,” you chuckled. “My sleep routine is shot to shit.”

“Did you get things sorted with Lucas?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “It still feels wrong. I’m seriously considering putting in a transfer. But I know that Hudson will only take a valid reason before signing off my request.”

“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Brody leaned closer to you across the table.

“I can’t stay, Jim. Things are getting too deep between me and Lucas, and I know that he’s always going to expect something that I can’t give him.”

“I can’t force you to go against what you think is right, but you know we’d all miss you. None of us would want to see you go.”

“I know that, and I thank you so much. You’ve all supported me and I absolutely love working on this boat.”

“Yeah, it is a great place.”

Suddenly, you stopped rigid, eyes wide as Lucas wondered into the room. Brody turned after seeing your expression, and then wished you both a goodnight.

“You okay?” Lucas asked, replacing Brody in the seat opposite you.

“Got a lot on my mind,” you told him.

Lucas reached out and curled his hand around yours. “What’s up? Talk to me.”

Tears filled your eyes and fell down your cheeks. “I can’t do this…I’m sorry…”

“What have I done?” he whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” you sobbed. Your gripped his hand tighter until he came and sat at your side. “You need someone your own age. I’m taking advantage of you with my authority and rank.”

“How are you taking advantage of me?”

“I’m ten years older than you and I’m a Lieutenant.”

“And why should that matter?”

“I…” words were lost.

“We’re both legal age and consenting adults. So does it really matter?” You remained quiet. Then you heard the gentle whisper of your name. “Does it really matter?” he asked again.

“I was considering putting in a transfer,” you said, the words tumbling from your mouth like an avalanche.

“No….no,” Lucas begged, drawing his hand up your face. “Don’t leave me.”

You couldn’t help but kiss his hand and lean into his touch.

“Captain Bridger left. I don’t know if I could handle you leaving, too.” Lucas’ eyes were wide and full to the brim of tears. Everyone in Lucas’ life had left him or cared little, never putting him as their priority.

And you knew then that no matter the outcome of your relationship status, you couldn’t leave. Lucas needed an open ear, heart and mind to express himself to. He’d found that in you.

As everyone prepared their belongings in order to enjoy three days of shore leave, you sat in your quarters with music playing away on your com-link. There was a positive buzz outside your door and foot traffic was loud. It was always the same whenever shore leave was approaching.

A knock came to your door.

Tony appeared. “Mornin’!” he chirped happily. “All ready to go?”

“Yes, I think so,” you replied.

“Lucas told me about your conversation over the transfer. I’m glad you told him you’d thought about it. Are you still considering it?”

You sighed and looked towards Tony. “No, I’ve decided not to leave. Whatever happens, I know my place is here. Lucas has had enough people walk out on him. He needs at least one person to stay.”

“Make sure you’re stayin’ for the right reasons.”

“I thought you wanted me to stay,” you replied with a smile.

“I do. We all do. But you’ve got to want to stay for yourself.”

“Everyone here feels like the friends I never had and the family I lost touch with. Of course I don’t want to leave.”

As everyone began gathering in the corridors to head to the docking bays, you stood between Lucas and Brody, dressed in your shore uniform. As usual, Tony was telling jokes to keep everyone amused.

“Do you ever pause for breath?” you asked, laughing.

“Only when I’m sleepin’, and even then I still talk,” Tony countered.

“He’s right there,” Lucas mumbled.

Shore leave began with all of you checking into a local hotel in downtown just from the seaQuest berth. As usual, the UEO paid for all expenses incurred on shore leave.

Lucas looked on a little suspiciously when you announced that you were next door to Brody and Lonnie, but he was on the floor below. He merely smiled at you, swept a glance to Brody and Lonnie, then disappeared to his own room.

In your room, you placed your bag down on the bed and began inspecting the cleanliness of the place.

You made sure you had a bath before doing anything else. The heat relaxed you and the sweet scent of lavender and jasmine wrapped around you. For a short while and you forgot all the trials in life, all the things that kept you up at night and made you over think. Suddenly, your phone began to chime. With a groan of irritation, you lifted yourself out of the tub, wound a thick towel around yourself and picked up the ringing nuisance from your bed.

“Are you alright? You took a while to answer,” Lucas’ questioning voice came.

“I’m fine. I was taking a bath.”

“Oh, okay. Do you mind if I come and see you?”

“Give me ten minutes to get dressed. I’m in room 712.”

“Okay. Bye.”

He seemed put out somehow. You sensed disappointment in his voice. Did he think you were avoiding him purely because you took time to answer his call? There was definitely a lot that needed to be ironed out between you both.

Lucas came to your room shortly afterwards, holding two paper cups of coffee, probably from the vending machine on his floor.

You thanked him for the coffee and then sat opposite him on your bed. You pulled your leg under yourself and watched him lower his head in that way he always did when he was unsure. “If this is how things are going to be between us now, then I wish they would just go back to how they were,” he said. His voice as pained by the realisation of all the tension he’d placed on your once deep friendship. For a young man who was so intelligent, far beyond that of most people, he held a lot of insecurity and uncertainty. He wore his heart on his sleeve and had never been able to hide his true emotions. There was an honesty and innocence that drew you in. A purity of heart. But also a sadness. If everyone else had abandoned him, how could you be so selfish and do the same thing?

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

Lucas was staring blankly into his coffee. “This. All of it.” He then looked up at you. “The last few days have been hell. I haven’t known what to say or do. And even if you don’t feel anything for me, can we just go back to the way things were?”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’ve driven a gap between us out of my own fear. Maybe I felt that backing away would help. Being around each other constantly only makes the feelings deepen. I’ve missed you and I do have feelings for you. A lot of them. I was scared of everyone judging me because I’m older and abusing my authority. I have to be careful, Lucas. Especially now that Captain Bridger is gone. He didn’t push Naval code like Hudson does.”

“I know that,” Lucas said, edging in a little closer towards you. That beautiful scent. It made his deeper instinct ride; butterflies were flapping with ferocity in his gut. “You worry too much about what other people think of you.”

“We’re not civilians, Lucas,” you reminded him.

“What would you have done with your life if you never enlisted?”

You took a sip of your coffee and smiled. “As a kid, I always wanted to be a vet, so I’d have worked with animals more than likely.”

“What made you enlist? You’ve never had that typical Navy way about you.”

“I finished university with a useless degree in English and I saw advertisements at a job fayre. I wanted something new and interesting. I almost failed my initial medical though.”

“Why?”

“I was taking medication for panic attacks. I stopped taking it a week before my examination and never declared it. Who wants a Naval officer who’s always anxious?”

“I don’t believe that at all. You’re probably the most chilled of anyone when we have an emergency.”

You chuckled. “I’ve learned to control it. And I find when I’m leading others, I’m more at ease. I can be calm for other people but not myself.”

That evening, a large group of you decided to head for a sit down meal at a local restaurant. Piano music was playing overhead and the lighting was dimmed, adding to a relaxing atmosphere. The waiter, a hook-nosed Italian man in overly tightly trousers, guided you over to a large, round table in the back corner.

You nudged Brody and pointed to the waiter. “It’s a wonder he doesn’t pop a nut.”

Lonnie and Tony immediately smiled, enjoying the fact that your usual self was coming back to the surface.

The whole meal was laid back, fun and light-hearted. You couldn’t help but notice the subtle glances that were exchanged between Lonnie and Jonathan Ford. Tim O’Neill seemed a little irritated by it, rolling his eyes a couple of times. When you saw Tim be so quiet, it reminded you of Miguel Ortiz, whom you had had a slight crush on when you first came aboard seaQuest. He and Tim had been good friends, and since Miguel’s passing in combat, Tim seemed a little lost at times.

By the time that the meal was over, most of the group had disappeared into the bar. There was only you, Lonnie and Jonathan Ford left at the table, which made you feel like a spare part. You excused yourself and walked out the front door of the restaurant. Chatter and laughter filled the air outside on the veranda. Dozens of people were drinking, eating and enjoying the night time air.

You began to walk, crossing the street and heading onto the empty beach. The chill in the air, the bright, full moon and the sound of crashing waves soothed you. In a hectic world where you were constantly fighting for control, you were now centred. Everything was simple. No worry. No orders. Just the stars, sand and sea.

Lucas looked for you, only to spot you standing on the beach. He could tell you from across the street. Proud shoulders, hands in pockets, bright coloured blouse, bandana in hair. That could only be you.

“You okay?” he asked.

You turned and smiled, then stepped back towards him. You curled your arm through his and put your head on his shoulder. The two of you remained quiet for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company. To Lucas’ surprise, you took his hand and held it tight.

Tony and Brody looked on from the front of the restaurant.

“If the age gap is their only concern then they’ve got more going for them than most couples,” Brody said.

“He’s definitely lucky to have her.”

By the time you made it back to the bar in the restaurant, you and Lucas were hand in hand. Tony grinned at you both and then cheered, drawing attention from the rest of the crew who were all sat in a booth together.

Laughter ensued almost immediately as all the men, apart from Lucas, began competing in a drinking game.

“One, two, three,” Tony counted, banging his free hand on the table top. All of the participants of the game tossed shots down their throats, then proceeded to continue on with a further two, downing them as quickly as possibly without vomiting. Tim O’Neill gagged, almost propelling his meal from his gut. Jim Brody fell into a coughing fit. Jonathan Ford blinked hard, pushing vodka-induced tears away. Tony merely laughed, playing a drum beat on the table.

You could sense Lucas’ eyes on you as you sat beside each other. His arm was stretched across the back of the seat behind you. His nerves were finally beginning to settle a little, reminding himself again and again that it was still you. You were the same person he had known now for almost two years and had had a bad crush on the whole time. There were so many times that he had imagined how you would feel under his fingertips, the way your lips would taste against his, the sound of your hitched breath as you kissed with passion. And you did not disappoint. All of his fantasies had fallen short of the beauty of reality.

Around midnight and the men of the group were considerably less sober than when they’d arrived for dinner just over four hours earlier. Tony was now daring Brody to go swimming in the sea naked, which the Lieutenant was actually considering to do. Ford and O’Neill were arm wrestling, leaving you to chat with Lucas and Lonnie. A bottle of expensive red wine was on the table. Lonnie sipped from her glass now and again, encouraging you to have a drink, but you never drank alcohol as it only made your anxiety worse.

“I’m going to retire to bed, I think,” you announced.

“I’ll walk you back,” Lucas proposed.

Together, you and Lucas began your short walk back to the hotel. You strolled along comfortably hand in hand. People walked past you, glancing at you for only a brief second before continuing on. No one stared like you thought they would. They were all unawares of the age gap between you both that you always thought was noticeable.

**

You woke the next morning to bright sunlight shining through the open curtains. Lucas was lying with his back to you. You slipped out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

Lucas heard the toilet flush and looked up at the ceiling, smiling. Would you regret the night previously? He hoped so much that you wouldn’t.

“Good morning,” you said with a smile, exiting the bathroom in your pyjamas.

“Morning,” Lucas replied, groggy with sleep and happiness.

You slipped back into bed and rolled over to him, kissing his lips. He seemed to gain more confidence the more that you kissed. The tension was seeping out of your actions the more that you acted on your feelings. Fear was losing its grip on you.

Both of you remained in bed for a short while, until you announced that you were getting dressed to head downstairs for breakfast.

“I’m tired,” Lucas groaned.

“Get up, Ensign. That’s an order,” you chuckled.

“Now who’s abusing their authority, Lieutenant?”

“Well if you’re expecting any kind of repeat of last night then you’re going to have to be well-behaved now, aren’t you?”

“You never seemed the type to subject me to blackmail.”

“I’m going to head down,” you said, putting the conversation back on a serious note. “Do you want me to bring you anything back up?”

Lucas just smiled. “I’ll come down with you.”

When you got downstairs, Lonnie and Commander Ford were already sat at a table for two. You and Lucas made yourself comfortable just across from them.

“How’s the head, Commander?” you chuckled.

“Strangely it’s okay. For now. No quick and sudden movements and I should be fine,” he replied with a smile.

You poured yourself a mug of English tea and began to eat your breakfast which had been served.

Tim O’Neill came half staggering into the large dining area and plopped down on a seat next to Lucas. “Remind me to never drink again,” he groaned.

Lucas looked up at you ever now and again, his blue eyes twinkling with something you hadn’t seen before. Contentment maybe? Or perhaps happiness? Whatever it was, you knew he needed both, and you hoped that you had given that to him.

The rest of that day was fairly eventful, with a visit to the local art museum with Lucas, Lonnie and Commander Ford.

Jonathan Ford couldn’t deny that he was shocked by the sudden and dramatic change in yours and Lucas’ relationship dynamic. His Navy instinct told him that something needed to be said, a warning to you both of potential consequences. But the kind side of him won out. Why try and damage that haze of happiness that was suspended around you both? Once Captain Hudson returned to the seaQuest, a relationship was something that you and Lucas would have to either end or keep secret. No way would Hudson advocate romance on his boat.

At the beach during the afternoon, Tony sat beside Lucas whilst you remained with Lonnie, enjoying an ice cream cone.

“So? What happened last night? Brody told me that you stayed in her room,” Tony enquired.

“Yeah, I stayed with her. What happened is none of your business,” Lucas replied.

“Lucas, come on! You gotta tell me. I didn’t arm you with rubber for nothin’!”

Lucas merely smirked. “Lets just say that it was put to good use.”

“Way to go, my boy!” Tony exclaimed.

“Tony, shut up. She’s only over there,” Lucas growled.

“So, I need details. How was it? Was she good?”

“None of your business,” Lucas hissed and moved away. He approached you and Lonnie, and as he looked at you, he knew there was only one word that could have described the night previously: incredible. No way was he about to disrespect you and discuss your private life with others.

“Can I borrow you for a few minutes?” he asked you.

“Yeah, sure,” you replied, and got up from the warm sand. “Everything okay?”

You both moved away from the rest of the group. “Yeah. I just wanted to be alone with you for a while.”

The two of you took a slow walk down to the water’s edge, the tide returning from its long descent out towards the horizon. Hand in hand, you were silent for a few minutes. The sun’s rays were warm against your back, but a gentle breeze refreshed the air, biting through the humidity. You felt that inner calm come flooding to the surface again. Lucas’ arm wound around your waist and you prayed in silence that this was the right thing for both of you.

[fizzyxcustard]

Avoidance

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: After having a couple of drinks and finding your inhibitions wearing down, you kiss Lucas, and then the realisation of what you've done sinks in. You avoid him for a few days, before a project you've both got to undertake together forces you to confront him.

Pairings: Lucas Wolenczak x fem!LieutenantReader

Warnings: Half-drunken kiss, avoidance, age gap/difference

Word count: 1286

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. Again, and I’ve said this a few times, Lucas is 20 at this point, so legal age. 

Asks, comments and even requests are highly welcomed! I miss this fandom and wish I had more people to share in it with. 

Shore leave. A chance for you to let your hair down for a few days. You planned on spending a bit of time alone, explore the city and have a well-earned lie in for once. And it all went according to plan, for the most part. In between a cinema trip with Tony, Lucas and Lonnie, and then food out most nights, you enjoyed walking alongside your own shadow. It was so wonderful that you could feel the sun on your face, not the artificial lighting of seaQuest. You weren’t thousands of feet below the sea, you were walking on solid ground, listening to the cry of gulls and feeling the natural heat of the sun’s rays.

The last night of shore leave was spent in the bar of your hotel. Normally you didn’t drink, but Tony had roped you into tasting a little alcohol. You had two bottles of cider, and as soon as you finished the first, you could feel heat rising in your cheeks. All of your friends were chattering away around you, but you noticed that Lucas’ blue gaze kept creeping over towards you. You may have been ten years his senior, with Lucas only just twenty, but you couldn’t deny that he was a good looking guy. Having him watching you made you blush a little more, and you looked away, pretending to pay attention to what Lonnie was saying who was sat next to you.

One by one, members of the crew disappeared. Your second cider ran out, and you could definitely feel the beginning of ‘tipsy’ sensations. Tony Piccolo and Tim O’Neill left to play pool. Lonnie and Jonathan Ford had disappeared completely out of sight. Jim Brody was flirting with two women sat at the bar whose lack of clothing left nothing to the imagination.

All of a sudden you felt hot and stifled. “I need a bit of fresh air,” you told Lucas who was sat opposite you. “It’s too hot in here.”

“I’ll come with you,” he proposed, and followed you out of the bar.

The two of you walked side by side along the sea front. “You feeling better?” Lucas asked.

“Much. It was just so claustrophobic in there,” you replied. “I know, I know, and I work on board a submarine. I don’t like crowds, and having a drink doesn’t help. That’s why I don’t normally drink alcohol, but you know how persuasive Tony is.” Then you giggled, but found that you couldn’t stop. All of your inhibitions seemed to come loose and tumble away.

Lucas watched as you grabbed a lamp post and twirled yourself around it, looking up at the sky as you did so. It felt like you were flying and you closed your eyes, your head thrown back. The rush in those moments was exhilarating.

Suddenly, you lost your footing and stumbled backwards, only to land against a pair arms. “I’ve got you,” Lucas told you. The landing was soft and you looked up at him for a second, smiling. Your gazes remained locked for a few seconds, and slowly your heads inched closer.

Lucas placed a kiss against your lips and felt nothing but delight as you responded to him. Everything was warm in those moments and your thoughts seemed to pass away into nothing, leaving you completely suspended in just one of your senses, which was touch.

Both of you allowed the kiss to grow deeper still, your tongues lacing. Gradually, you slowed the kiss and pulled back a little. You looked up into his eyes which were sparkling in happiness and innocence. It made you feel like a teenager again, a blushing mess when the good looking kid who you had a crush on happened to glance across at you and pay a moment’s attention to you.

Was this really all the result of having two bottles of cider? Realisation of what had just happened hit you all of a sudden like a bullet and you stood up straight, shifting away from Lucas. And for the rest of the evening, you ignored bringing up anything related to what had happened between you both. You proposed to head back to the hotel, and as you walked back, you noticed Lucas’ clenched jaw and the way he kept his head low.

***

The kiss haunted you for the next three days. Every waking moment and you felt the shame that was pressing down on your shoulders. And whenever you saw Lucas, you averted your gaze. He’d tried to make conversation but you shrugged him off. How could you have been so irresponsible and let your guard down? You were in authority to Lucas with him being an Ensign and you Lieutenant.

To your complete shock and dismay, Captain Hudson ordered you and Lucas team up and complete a sweep of the mainframe system, which meant a week long trek through the sub, checking with your diagnostic tools if any maintenance was needed.

First off, you began in the Ward Room, and you knew that Lucas was staring at you as you both stepped inside. “Is there a problem, Ensign?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lucas threw his pal across the table and glared at you. “When are we actually going to talk like adults? You expect me to forget what happened on shore leave?”

“Yes, I do!” you growled. “It was nothing.”

Lucas scoffed and sat down on one of the many empty seats. “I somehow don’t believe that. If it was nothing, then why are you acting like this?”

“Because I know you, Lucas, and you make something out of everything.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“A girl only looks at you for two seconds longer than necessary, and you start developing a crush on her and think she’s into you,” you replied sarcastically.

It remained silent and you saw Lucas’ jaw clench tight. He looked down, his gaze darting back and forth across the table as tears welled in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” you said softly, approaching Lucas. You reached out and touched his shoulder. “That was cruel of me. I just…Don’t know what to say about the other night. It was stupid for both of us.”

“It wasn’t for me,” Lucas whispered.

Your whole body grew tense and your heart raced. Had you just heard correctly? “I…What….?” You stuttered in disbelief. “You’re young and I think…having women around you in authority somehow…”

“It’s got nothing to do with any other women on board. I really think you’re amazing,” Lucas admitted.

You couldn’t help but chuckled wryly and sit down opposite Lucas. You folded your arms in front of you and looked at him. “Come on. Lonnie’s prettier than me and seems more popular with people.”

“Why do you think so low of yourself?” Lucas asked, smiling at you.

“It’s true. I pale into insignificance next to her. All the men seem to have the hots for her.”

“Not all of them. I’m sat right here saying that I have the hots for you.”

Both of you laughed. Your chuckles filled the large room and after a minute, you got up from your seat and sat next to Lucas.

He felt himself begin to tremble in excitement as you leaned in, your head coming closer to his. The kiss was gentle at first, and then gradually it deepened. Lucas’ hand slipped up your face and into your hair, and by the time you had lost your breaths, you pulled apart. Both of you were flushed and smiling at each other.

You placed your hand on his arm, squeezing ever so lightly. “Let’s get back to work, Ensign.”

***

seaQuest tag list: @shrimpsthings​ @lathalea​ @lunaradragon616​

[fizzyxcustard]

Not So Nice

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest DSV

Summary: Just after the episode ‘And Everything Nice’ from season 2. Lucas has just had his heart broken when a woman named Sandra has pretended to want a relationship with him, only to then be ‘kidnapped’ by the people she is working with, and pull Lucas into a game she is part of, wanting to get access to seaQuest’s emergency codes. 

Lucas has been quiet and distant for three days after his brief relationship and heartbreak with Sandra. You try and cheer him up, but instead you wind up being the one who opens up old wounds, and feelings are shared.

Pairings: Lucas Wolenczak x fem!LieutenantReader (friendship mainly)

Warnings: Angst, sadness, break up, heartbreak, age difference, admission of feelings. 

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! People are probably wondering why I’m still continuing this fic when it gets so little feedback, but it’s purely because I enjoy writing it. It’d a pleasure to be reminiscing in old times.

This has no link really to Fear and Loathing, only that the characters are the same. 

Lucas had been quiet and distant for the last three days, only answering when was absolutely necessary. It was only natural that he would react in such a way, but it hurt you when he pushed you away. All you wanted to do was help, try and ease some of his pain and take the weight on your own shoulders. Betrayal always cut deep. You knew of betrayal quite well. Lucas was still only eighteen, barely a man. This was his first instance of betrayal, when he’d given his heart to a girl so quickly in sheer innocence. And now you wanted to take the burn and ease the pain.

After your shift on the third day after Lucas had ripped up his resignation letter, you went to the mess hall and made two mugs of hot coffee. Tony Piccolo, Lucas’ bunkmate, had been making himself scarce most evenings to play Poker with O’Neill, Brody and Ortiz, so this would be the perfect opportunity to try and show Lucas that you truly did care.

Lucas was lying on his bunk, staring at the metal pipes which ran above his bed. He had his arms behind his head, and still, all he could see was Sandra. It had all been too good to be true; a beautiful woman like her had wanted him. Of course she had ulterior motives. Not many men would ever be good enough for her.

A sudden tap to Lucas’ door pulled him out of his reverie. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Can you open the door, Lucas? I’ve got my hands full,” you called, your voice muffled.

Lucas sighed and jumped down from his bunk, letting you in to the room. There, on a tray, were two large steaming coffees, surrounded by an assortment of sweets and candies. “Thought you might want a bit of company,” you said, offering a smile. “And some sugar. It always helps cheer me up.”

“Ummm, yeah….” Lucas replied, his voice sounding unsure and sceptical.

You could see from the set of his face that he was going to be a little awkward, but you would do your best to help his sadness. “I’ll put these down on the table,” you said. “I brought extra milk and sugar…”

“Look, thanks and everything, but I’m kinda not in the mood,” Lucas said. His blue eyes met your gaze, and in that moment he saw the flash of upset. A tiny jolt of something hit him in the chest and he moved forward. “I’m…sorry. Please, I shouldn’t have said that. Thank you.” As he focused on you, Sandra seemed to slip away briefly. And those buried feelings stirred. You may not have been outwardly stunning in your appearance with full pouting lips, a model figure and high cheekbones, but your beauty shone through your smile and sparkled in your eyes. It slipped off your tongue when you spoke words of kindness, and it left a sweet scent on the air when you showed a gesture of friendship and compassion. Lucas swallowed hard. You were far more beautiful than Sandra could have ever hoped to be.

To your surprise, Lucas stepped to you and put his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

You held him and felt him sink into you, his despair finally being let loose. He wept on your shoulder and you couldn’t help but feel yourself begin to fill with tears also, your heart breaking for him.

“I just want one person to not walk away from me,” he sobbed. “I want someone to put me first and love me.”

“You are so special,” you told him as you both parted. Lucas sniffed, his eyes red and sore.

“I want to be special to one person, you know?” he asked. “To be wanted and needed, and not just needed for when a computer needs to be fixed.”

“I need you,” you said softly. “You make me smile, help me laugh. You’re one of my closest friends, and I honestly cherish you more than you know.”

“No one truly needs me though, do they? I’m just a kid to everyone,” Lucas countered. “If you and Miguel hooked up tomorrow then you’d be all him and you wouldn’t need me.”

You took a step back and widened your eyes in shock at Lucas’ words. “I’m assuming you mentioned Miguel purely as a way to make your point and not to actually insinuate that something is going on between us. Being in a relationship isn’t the only way you can need someone, Lucas. It doesn’t somehow magically make your life complete. Trust me, it doesn’t.”

Lucas remained quiet and brushed his hand through his hair, and began to put sugar into his coffee.

“You’re eighteen, and you’ll have plenty of time to meet lots of new people,” you said softly. “I know it doesn’t take away what happened between you and Sandra, but the right people will come into your life. Maybe you just haven’t found the right people yet.”

Lucas looked at you for a second and felt a very weak smile erupt. You were definitely one of the right people in his life. He felt that. He’d always felt it. On the day you first met, when crew were being brought on board after the re-building of the infamous sub, Lucas had been checking on Darwin and you and a few other crew members had been escorted into the Moon Pool on a short tour of the vessel. Immediately you had been overcome with excitement upon seeing the dolphin. Lucas couldn’t help but laugh at your enthusiasm that day and it was here, somehow, something was born. All of the crew on the small tour were dressed in their civilian clothing; mostly the norm, T-shirts, jeans. But you were wearing a bright, colourful T-shirt with a Looney Tunes character on the front and a cardigan that way way too big for you, covered in purple stars. Your shoes were bright red Converse.

“Can you remember the day we first met?” Lucas asked suddenly, sitting down on Tony’s bunk.

You smiled, reminiscing in your first day aboard seaQuest. “Yeah, I do. It was one of the most exciting days of my life.”

“I think you got a bit more than you bargained for, huh?”

“No, I got everything I was expecting and more. I’ve made some amazing friends, had wonderful experiences, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I can honestly say that I’m happy for the first time in years,” you replied, sipping your hot coffee. “Anyway, enough of me. I came to see how you’re doing.”

Lucas chuckled.

“That’s better,” you giggled. “Smiles suit you.” You watched Lucas hang his head and blush, a broad smile still beaming from his face.

“You’re the first person who has made me smile,” Lucas said softly. “Thank you.”

“I do have my uses. They’re few, but I do have some,” you laughed.

You sat down in the seat opposite where Lucas was perched, and you gripped the warm coffee in your hand. The smile began to dissipate from Lucas’ face and his eyes wondered towards a space behind you. What was he thinking? You wanted to take all the hurt and worry from him, throw it away, and then hold him tight. He deserved so much better than the hand he had been dealt.

“Has anyone ever broke your heart?” Lucas asked absently.

“I’ve had my heart broken many times, Lucas,” you replied. “It comes with the territory of being human, I’m afraid. Friends, family, lovers…” Well, lover. The word wasn’t plural in your case; you had only ever been in one relationship. It was a secret that you kept close to your scarred heart. At your age and point in your life, you should have had many lovers and now been preparing to settle down with one, to buy your own home, get married and have a handful of kids. But, no, you had decided to join the Navy, see the world, and forfeit that life because you felt you would never have it.

As Lucas looked up at you, he reminded you of the type of teenage boy you would have had a crush on when you were that age. Fair-haired, blue-eyed, cute. However, when you were eighteen, you were chubby, and no doubt he wouldn’t have looked at you twice. You had always been invisible to the good looking boys when you were growing up. Everyone only saw your dependable and loner nature, asking for help when they needed it, but remaining scarce any other time.

The sadness of your past began to rise in your chest and you batted away a tear, which Lucas noticed.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, moving toward you. His hand reached out to you, quivering a little as he felt unsure of what to do.

“I’m fine,” you said, faking a smile. “Your question just brought back some memories. Look at me. I come to see if you’re okay, and I’m the one who winds up crying. How stupid.”

Lucas was lost for words in those moments and just looked at you trying to push your tears away with another fake smile. Would you ever have any idea how beautiful you were? Losing Sandra had hurt, but from the betrayal itself, not losing her. And now that Sandra was no longer in his life, Lucas knew that he couldn’t stop feeling for you what he did. The time with Sandra had only been a temporary relief of the unrequited feelings that he had for you. Was she a rebound for you? Lucas had had many crushes in the last couple of years, many of them being on female crew, but with you, it was more than just a crush. He lay awake at night thinking of you, often dreamed of you and then became very embarrassed when he saw you the day after.

Sandra had seemed like a natural choice for Lucas to make. Clever, beautiful. The female equivalent of him. He’d gravitated towards that, being able to shut off his feelings for you in order to pursue a life with a girl he’d only known one night. But your differences to Lucas were what made you special. They were new, unique and a novelty to him. Sitting with a girlfriend, discussing quantum theories and computer algorithms would have been the norm and to be expected. But talking about rock concerts you attended in your youth, fantasy books you loved, and watching you laugh over the thought of Tony Piccolo getting locked outside his quarters, stark naked, was what Lucas wanted. It was what he was thriving on. You unlocked a whole new world to him, offering it. It was a world of vibrancy, humour and creativity.

“I wish I could hunt down all those people who have hurt you,” Lucas whispered.

You saw the anger in his eyes at the very thought of someone upsetting you, and you curled your hand around his. “I need you in my life more than you know,” you told him. “You keep me upright.”

“You’re good at doing that for everyone else,” Lucas said, a hint of frustration in his tone.

“It’s who I am, Lucas. I’ve always been a helper and a giver. But you’ve got to guard yourself and not give yourself over so willingly. I’ve seen you do it so much since I first met you. You pour your heart and soul into everything you do, and that can mean you lose yourself. In time, through experience, you learn who to trust and who not to. You begin to develop an anti-bullshit radar.”

“Like Tony?” Lucas laughed. Most of what that man spouted really was bullshit.

“He covers up his feelings of inadequacy,” you replied. “I tend to be able to sum people up pretty quickly.”

“How about…say, Brody?”

“Ahh, the ladies man,” you mused. “He’s confident, good-looking, but there’s a lot of hurt in him, probably around his upbringing and his mother. He likes the ladies, but deep down he’s looking for a mother figure.”

“How about Ortiz?”

“He’s pretty much an open book. Honest, practical. I’ve always liked Miguel’s straight talking nature.”

“And me?”

“Oh, come on. Have I got to go through and analyse every crew member? I’ve noticed it’s all the younger men you’re asking me about.” You nudged Lucas with your elbow. “Is there a point to this exercise? I’m guessing you want to see if I have a crush on any of these men?”

“Well, do you?”

You laughed loud. “You cheeky little shit! You had to put yourself in there, I noticed.”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

“What, if you have a crush on any of the guys?” you teased, sticking your tongue out for emphasis. “Okay….I did have a bit of a crush on Miguel when I first came aboard. And Brody’s kinda cute, but that’s about it. Your turn!”

Lucas swallowed hard and then looked at you. “You.”

“What about me?” you asked, your expression turning very straight from your previous amusement.

“I’ve liked you since we first met.”

“What about Lonnie?” you asked, feeling yourself begin to shake. How had you become cornered like this?

“No, you,” Lucas replied simply.

You got up from your seat and sighed. “I’ve got to go. I need to press my uniform for in the morning…”

Lucas looked on, watching you grow flustered in your attempt to escape the conversation and the room. “Sandra has made me realise even more how deep my feelings for you are.”

“Lucas, stop it,” you said, turning on your heel. “I’m not even going to entertain such an idea of anything happening. I’m too old for you.”

Then you disappeared out of the door, slamming it behind you.

***

seaQuest tag list: @shrimpsthings​ @lathalea​

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (2)

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask!

Captain Hudson ushered you into his quarters, and Lucas automatically followed on behind without any prompt. Lucas’ heart was racing frantically. He was losing you. And how could he stop it?

With a loud sigh, Hudson sat behind his desk. “I hope to get back to running this vessel sometime today,” he said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you apologised. “I’m aware of problems that have occurred due to my personal conduct with Ensign Wolenczak, and that is why I wish to request a transfer.” You stood upright, your hands behind your back, much in contrast to Lucas’ defensive posture of his crossed arms.

Lucas was aghast at you. “You can’t!”

You placed your official request of transfer down on Hudson’s desk. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” Hudson said.

“You can’t actually accept this!” Lucas shouted, glaring at the Captain and pointing at the white envelope for emphasis.

Hudson’s jaw clenched in frustration and his eyes darkened. “You will control yourself, Ensign, or it will be you I transfer. She has every right to request transfer, and I thank you for your professionalism, Lieutenant.”

“Thank you, Sir,” you replied, still remaining composed.

“Ensign, please return to your station. Lieutenant, I’d like a word.”

Lucas looked at you sadly, a stray tear falling down his cheek. Then he left the room, his shoulders hunched, the weight of the world resting upon them.

You continued to be composed, despite your heart shattering. By giving in to your feelings and instincts, you were now jeopardising your career.

“Take a seat,” Hudson instructed. It was quite plain for him to see the pain in your eyes that you were trying so hard to conceal. Hudson’s face softened and he sighed. “I was his age once, believe it or not, and he still has a lot of growing up to do in order to fill that uniform. Losing either of you is the last thing that I want to see happen, but may I give you a piece of advice?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t keep letting him push you to take full responsibility for this. Be accountable for your actions, and yours alone. Maybe the shift rotation change was a little harsh. Whilst I consider your transfer request, you’ll go back to your original shift pattern as of now. However, outside of duty and meal times, you and Mr. Wolenczak are under strict orders to remain separated. If I find that either of you have broken this order, you’ll both be dismissed from duty immediately.”

“Thank you for understanding, Sir,” you said, saluted, and left.

You returned to the bridge and sat beside Lucas in your usual spot. “Keep quiet, and that’s an order, Ensign,” you instructed, never looking at him. However, you could imagine his expression, but couldn’t bring yourself to look.

“Is everything alright, Lieutenant?” Commander Ford asked, approaching your station.

“Yes, Commander. Captain Hudson has changed my shift rotation back to its original pattern while my request for transfer is considered.” You knew that the others on the bridge were having their ears filled with your personal business, but you resigned yourself to the fact that they would all eventually find out what was happening.

For the rest of the day you and Lucas remained quiet, barely speaking but a handful of words to each other, which were always in connection with duty. Each time Hudson gave an order, you could see Lucas’ jaw clench tight and sheer loathing flash in his eyes. Hudson had understood you far more than you ever thought he would, and considering his authority, he hadn’t brought punishment down upon you that was as firm as other captains. The very first captain of seaQuest, Marilyn Stark, who perished after going rogue in her extreme ideas, would have probably recommended complete stripping of your rank and Lucas’, calling for your dismissal from the Navy and UEO. No way would you have been employed for either again, not even for a desk job in headquarters. There were certainly harsher captains to serve under.

At dinner, Lucas came behind you, holding an empty food tray. “What are you doing?” he growled in your ear.

“I’m doing what needs to be done, Lucas,” you hissed back in response. You never turned to see his face, but you could imagine his infamous sulking pout. The food you had put on your tray didn’t seem all that appealing, and as you gazed over it, your stomach began to lurch, and you could feel the all too familiar palpitations in your chest. It all seemed stronger than usual, until you lost your grip on the tray and it fell to the floor. All of a sudden you found yourself on the floor next to your tray. Lucas’ voice broke through the cloud of grogginess and dizziness that was surrounding you. Every breath you took and it felt like splintered glass in your chest.

“I’ll take her to Med Bay,” Lucas told the small gathering around you. Eyes were looking down on you and voices were loud, chattering at you and through you. The faces looked as though they were dissolving; you blinked hard, causing flashes of light to break through the darkness beneath your eyelids. Lucas tried to help you up, but you toppled to the side, nearly taking him down to the floor with you.

There was a small commotion around you as officers flitted in and out, and Lonnie finally returned with a wheelchair.

Lucas wheeled you out, and still your vision remained blurred. It was like a sheet of blue and silver before your eyes with flashes of beige and other colours, moving this way and that. Breath was passing through you a little easier now and the chest pain was subsiding.

In the Med Bay and the doctor, a middle-aged Irish fellow with glasses, began to inspect you, asking about your symptoms. By now and you felt jittery, as if your muscles were contracting more than they should have been. A fluttering was still present in your gut and chest.

“It sounds like a panic attack to me,” the doctor mused. “But the fact you fainted and have blurred vision is what is concerning me. Maybe a sudden change in blood pressure? I’d like to take blood samples and keep you in overnight.”

“Do you think it’s serious?” Lucas asked in concern.

You sat on the edge of the bed, your fingers gripping the sheets. Lucas and the doctor’s voices seemed to drift away as you felt the hair on your neck stand to attention, and subconsciously your teeth ground against one another.

Captain Hudson appeared at your bedside after he’d heard of what had happened. “Lieutenant,” he began. Then his suspicious gaze shot to Lucas, who was stood the other side of your bed. “Ensign, the doctor can do his job from here.”

“Yes, Sir,” Lucas replied, venom dripping from his tone. He shot one last concerned and sad glance at you before disappearing.

“I want to keep her overnight for observation, Captain,” the doctor began. “The passing out and blurred vision is what’s concerning me.”

“Do what you need to, Doctor. I just want my Lieutenant back in one piece,” Hudson said.

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a spot of admiration for your captain. He may have been stern and abrupt, but he cared for his crew and looked after them well.

“I admired your actions today. It’s your integrity that I greatly appreciate. Get some rest,” Hudson said, shooting you a faint smile before walking out of the room.

The next half an hour was the doctor examining you. Eye test, hearing test, blood pressure, blood test and urine sample. Naturally your blood pressure was a little elevated due to the stressors on your body. The blood test would be ready the following morning; every aspect of your body’s function would be tested.

Lonnie came to visit shortly before the doctor was due to finish. “Do you want me to bring you anything?” she asked kindly. You asked for your journal and current novel you were reading.

By the time that it was half ten, you could feel fatigue setting in. Calm had come over you again, and you lay down, closing your eyes. Waves and the moon. Black sky and sparkling stars. Lucas holding you. They way it should have been. And as you drifted away into sleep, you never noticed one tear fall down your cheek.

As you ate breakfast the next morning in the Med Bay, the doctor began reading through your test results. He furrowed his eyebrows; the blood test showed normal activity for your immune system, sugar and lipids, but your hormone levels showed a significant drop in serotonin and high adrenaline levels. An unknown viral strain was present but its DNA did not match anything in the medical database.

“Good morning, Lieutenant,” he said. He pulled up a chair next to your bed.

“Morning, Doctor,” you replied, swallowing a mouthful of toast.

“I’ve looked over your blood test results this morning, and whilst most of it is normal, your blood is showing a dip in serotonin levels and an unknown viral toxin.”

“Virus?” you asked, shocked. You had been under the impression that all this was was a panic attack induced by stress.

“A panic attack makes sense with the lowered levels of serotonin and elevated adrenaline. But this virus concerns me as I’m not sure if it was responsible for the symptoms in the first place.”

“I’ve suffered with anxiety for some years, Doctor. And I stopped taking medication for it when I enlisted at twenty-two.”

“I’d like to keep you here for another few hours and take regular blood samples. I intend to send them to the main lab at the UEO headquarters and see what their thoughts are. Maybe we can look at online counselling to help with the anxiety.”

Lucas visited you that morning before his shift. He stood at your bedside and smiled sadly. “How are you feeling?”

“A lot calmer but tired. The doctor says I have a virus which isn’t identified, and isn’t sure if it’s linked to my panic attack and passing out last night.”

“If you need anything at all, I’m here. Just ask.” He reached out and touched your hand, but you flinched and pulled away.

“Don’t!” you said sternly.

“You’re letting Captain Hudson dictate our lives!” Lucas hissed.

Your heart began to pound again and the sharp pains built, radiating through your chest like forks of electricity. You gasped, trying desperately to get your breath. “Get….out….” you were able to say.

“Ensign, please leave,” the doctor ordered.

Later that morning and Lucas was pulled into Captain Hudson’s quarters. Lucas, as usual, stood with his jaw clenched and his eyes glaring in anger at the captain.

“You are not to visit her again, Ensign! Do I make myself clear?” Hudson boomed. “It’s funny how both attacks she’s suffered have been when in your company. Not only does she have more moral integrity than you and professionalism by requesting a transfer, but she’s fighting an unknown virus. I will not have you put more on her shoulders.”

“I’ve put nothing…”

“Enough!” Hudson shouted. “I’m thisclose,” he began, holding his forefinger and thumb close together for emphasis, “to shredding her transfer request and putting you aboard another vessel instead. Captain Bridger allowed you far too much freedom on this boat. You’ll learn to keep your mouth shut, follow orders and not back answer me. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” Lucas growled.

“Good. Get out of my sight,” Hudson shot back.

You remained in the Med Bay for the rest of the day. Lonnie came to visit and brought you fresh underwear and toiletries to wash with. She stayed for a little while, comfortable in your bedside chair, talking about what had happened on the bridge that day. “Be glad that you can have a break,” she giggled. “It’s not right without you though.”

“I’m hoping to be back in a couple of days. The doctor wants me to rest and de-stress, which is easier said than done in this place, especially with Lucas’ constant sulking.” You sighed.

“Hey, I know you think the world of him, but you can’t let him keep putting on to you. He’s stressing you to the point of making you sick. I know you requested a transfer and it’s because of him. He still has a lot of growing up to do.”

“You’re right. He does.”

[fizzyxcustard]

(Run on from the episode 'And Everything Nice' in season 2, and a prologue (of sorts) to my Lucas/Fem!Reader series in which you are a Lieutenant aboard the seaQuest - although this doesn't line up too much with my previous works; it's kinda deviated a little) Lucas has been quiet and distant for three days after his brief relationship and heartbreak with Sandra. You try and cheer him up, but instead you wind up being the one who opens up old wounds, and feelings are shared.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing - MASTERLIST

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references, age difference/gap. 

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7) (Chapter 8) (Chapter 9) (Chapter 10) (Chapter 11) (Chapter 12)

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (9)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest DSV/2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. Asks and seaQuest related requests are now being taken!

Lucas and you were given access to the Ward Room systems which linked in to the mainframe and all the helm systems from the bridge. The two of you were also able to access the UEO files, databases, programs and Intranet. Everything was at your fingertips, and every couple of days you would have an additional person on hand. Normally it was Tim O’Neill, but a couple of times Commander Ford had taken leave of the bridge to assist you.

On your eighth day, you put your forehead down on the wooden desk and growled in irritation.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Lucas reassured, sitting beside you. He placed his hand consolingly on your shoulder, rubbing in a soothing motion. “We’ll get through this, I promise. We’ll find something.”

You looked at your boyfriend and sighed. A tear of utter defeat slid down your cheek, which you pushed away with the back of your hand. “I started all of this, Lucas. Maybe if I’d kept my mouth shut and we’d have just remained in the ignorance…”

“No,” Lucas demanded. “Don’t think like that.”

“I told you when we first started that this was my f - …”

“Stop that!” Lucas hissed. “I’m proud of you for what you did, and so you should be. How many people can say that they follow their intuition on something as big as this and it turns out they’re right? By taking him down, we’re stopping more people being experimented on like we were.”

The frustration in you hit full tilt and you shoved your chair away, the wooden legs scraping through the carpet. Without another word, you left the Ward Room, the door slamming behind you. Why was everything crushing down on you so hard? You couldn’t quite fathom it. Of course Lucas was right, but he was also very biased when it came to you. He would always take your side, and you knew that. He would never criticise your actions because he loved you.

In your quarters, ten minutes later, you sat down on your bed. And now the guilt began to set in for leaving Lucas in the manner that you had. Just as you were about to put a call through to the Ward Room from your computer, your door knocked.

Lucas entered. “I figured you’d come here,” he said with a weak, lop-sided smile.

“I’m just so sorry,” you said softly. “I feel like everything is on top of me and I can’t carry it.”

“No one is expecting you to carry it all,” Lucas told you and sat beside you. He held your hand in his and took a moment to look at you, feeling his whole body lighten. You truly meant everything to him; you were his best friend, his girlfriend, his confidant. seaQuest had always been lonely for Lucas Wolenczak; him coming aboard as a sixteen year old, forced among adults and expected to be one of them. But he had still experienced the trials of any teenager, most of all, loneliness. Now, as a man, he didn’t feel that anymore.

You rested your head on Lucas’ shoulder and sighed. “I didn’t mean to take things out on you. I just…I feel so stressed. More than I have for a long time. I know what’s at stake with this, and the longer we take in finding Cullen then the more chance of him getting away and doing it again.”

***

That evening and Lucas joined you in your quarters, the two of you still working away on your personal computer, like every evening so far since you had come back to the boat. The two of you alternated in your trips to the mess hall for coffee and snacks.

Just as you were about to consider your next trip for drinks, Lucas suddenly called out. “I think I’ve got something!”

“What?” you asked, nearly stumbling over your own feet in your race to get back to the other side of the room and peer over his shoulder.

“You know all the files that I tried to send from the base where we were, and then found a virus had been initiated to make sure the files couldn’t be read elsewhere? Well, I think I have a file that isn’t completely unreadable. I’m still trying to piece it together, but it looks promising.”

There, on the screen in front of you, were the words ‘de-fragmenting’. This was something you had always assumed was to ensure better use and storage space on your hard drive, but this wasn’t the time for questioning Lucas on the fundamentals of computer language and coding. Basic working knowledge of the machines and their programs was all you needed to know. Anything else and that was Lucas’ forte. Your speciality was analysing the data, preferably qualitative data, once it had been brought together. Gaining the data was something that you were limited in your knowledge of.

Coffee only took you so far, and by midnight you were dozing on your bed. A random memory played in your head. Your first day of school. You felt small, overwhelmed and ready to run out of the room. There were children playing; some were playing in a small sand pit, others with Lego. And some were sat at a table with the teacher, beginning their basic numbers. You gripped your daddy’s hand and tried to hide behind him.

And then that sudden, blood chilling sensation of falling hit you. You jerked awake, only to see the back of Lucas’ head. His shoulders were hunched and you could tell now that the stress was also beginning to take its toll on him. The long hours you had been putting in were taking their toll. And the only thing you had to look forward to now was shore leave in three days’ time. Captain Hudson had been ordered that for the remainder of the tour now, you were to be stood down before the new one began in a week. This meant that you would have four days leave. Four whole days alone with Lucas. No work whatsoever, you had both agreed. However, you suspected that your conversation would no doubt take a turn in that direction. It would probably be impossible for you both not to speak at all about seaQuest. Afterall, it was practically your life, and the very thing that had brought you and Lucas together. The boat was the foundation of your relationship, the bare bones that everything else had been built upon.

You got up from your bed, stretching your tired muscles and then stood behind Lucas, placing your hands on his shoulders. You massaged gently, listening to him groan in relief at the soothing sensations. “Come to bed,” you whispered at his ear, and then kissed his temple. “I’ve been keeping it all warm for you.”

Lucas chuckled. “That does sound good. But I think…”

“No, you don’t think anything. Bed, please,” you instructed.

Both of you were still fully clothed in jeans and matching checked shirts as you got into bed, Lucas holding you from behind. He sleepily kissed your neck, smiling. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” you replied.

To think that only a few months earlier and you had questioned your whole relationship with Lucas, nearly walking away from any kind of romance completely. And now, here you were in so deep that you knew backing out would be impossible. The age gap didn’t matter anymore, nothing did. Both of you wanted to be together, and that was enough.

You and Lucas were called into the Ward Room the next morning, along with Commander Ford and Tim O’Neill. Captain Hudson led the meeting with you all, sitting at the head of the table. “I know that the last two weeks have been difficult, with very little leads, but I wanted to personally thank you for your hard work and professionalism on this, especially you, Lieutenant, and Ensign Wolenczak. The two of you have worked tirelessly, and all I can offer you both is an extended shore leave, effective as of today.”

“Really?” Lucas asked, his eyes brightening. “Thank you, Sir.”

You sighed and slouched back in your seat, the weight of all of this pressing so heavily on your shoulders.

“Can I ask what’s wrong, Lieutenant?” Hudson asked, straightening his back and tightening his lips in a defensive manner.

You sighed again and looked up at the Captain. “Sir, I still feel I’m somehow responsible for all of this, and I owe it to everyone to catch this…”

Lucas immediately interjected. “I keep telling you…”

“Thank you, Ensign,” Hudson instructed. “You are responsible for nothing that that man did, do I make myself clear?” His dark eyes bore into your gaze. “You are not to carry any of this on yourself. Without you, this whole investigation would never have been underway. None of us would have been the wiser. It was only you that suspected something. I should bear the responsibility of this, not you.”

“No, Sir, you shouldn’t…” you replied.

“You are all under my responsibility and my duty of care, and I lost sight of what was really happening.”

You smiled at Captain Hudson, finding that you had come to genuinely like him and appreciate his way of command this last sixth months since Captain Bridger retired. Hudson may have been more vocal in his distastes, and ready to fly off the handle, but he was also very fair, and his role as Captain was something that he lived and breathed.

“Thank you,” you said.

You, Lucas, Ford and O’Neill gave Hudson a quick brief of the updates you had made. But the only thing that had come to light was Lucas’ defragmenting file. And Captain Hudson had left that in O’Neill’s care so you and Lucas could begin your extended leave.

In your quarters a short time later and you began packing clothing. You had already had a shower and changed out of your uniform, exchanging it for your usual jeans and a bright T-shirt. Lucas was to meet you in ten minutes in the docking bay where you would both be taken ashore to the main berth of the sub, New Cape Quest, and the shuttle would dock. A dull ache throbbed behind your eyes and in your temples, a sure sign that you would no doubt need your sunglasses once ashore. Stress always caused you to become sensitive to light.

You took another look through your case, checking that you had packed enough underwear for a week and that you had not forgotten your journal. That book had become your lifeline in the last two years, documenting all of your random thoughts. Some of the entries had been written sitting in the mess hall at dinner, others when watching a film with Lucas and Tony Piccolo. But the longer, more intense entries had been written late at night or early in a morning when sleep would not come. Dosing up on caffeine failed to wake you, so instead you turned your mind over to your journal. Sometimes you would doodle in the margins, drawing random flowers and animals. Now you yearned for time away in a coffee shop somewhere, a large mug of steaming latte next to your arm and the smell of the coffee grounds hanging sharply in the air. You wanted normality, a time that was reminiscent of before you enlisted in the Navy. But hadn’t you initially enlisted because of your abnormality when it came to society? What was normal anymore?

Once you and Lucas were ashore, you stepped out into the bright sunlight and took a deep inhale. There was nothing like that sudden sharp, intake of fresh air. Lucas smiled at you, knowing that this was something you did each and every time that you stepped ashore. He’d seen you do it so many times and it made him think back to the first shore leave that he’d had with you on board. You had slipped so easily into two friendship groups, one with Lucas, Piccolo and Dagwood, the other with Lonnie Henderson and Jim Brody.

At the local hotel, you and Lucas checked in, a king size room having been booked. Then you ascended the five floors to your room in the elevator. The room gave you a gorgeous sea view. Watching it from a distance relaxed you, rather than living beneath it for weeks and months at a time. The view caught your attention for a while, until you felt Lucas’ arms wrap around your middle from behind. “Are you still worried about everything?” he asked, sensing that your mind was occupied elsewhere. “This time is for us. Please try and enjoy it.”

“I will. I promise.” But you knew that you probably wouldn’t be able to fulfil that promise. When had things changed so much? Two years ago and you were more carefree, and so was Lucas. Something had changed in both of you. Adapting to a world ten years in the future had been difficult. Re-connecting with family was emotional. All family of crew had assumed you dead, so walking into a future life with ten years missing had been a huge shock. Captain Hudson had changed the dynamic of working on board seaQuest, and now that Lucas was an officer, your relationship with him had also changed. Nothing was familiar anymore. You wanted to go back to how things were.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (11)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest DSV/2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. Asks and seaQuest related requests are now being taken!

Captain Hudson requested a meeting with you only two days after your discussion with Commander Ford. Hudson had called you, his voice full of question and accusation, which put you on edge. But you, of course, agreed to meet with him to discuss your extended leave request which Commander Ford must have filed quickly whilst on his leave. The fact that they were still working whilst on shore leave surprised you. But that was what they got paid the bug bucks for, after all.

The meeting took place in a small, discreet restaurant that had very few occupants, as you had met early, just upon opening time. The two of you requested a back table so you could discuss official business without being overheard.

You nervously glugged from a pint glass of Coke as Captain Hudson began to speak to you, his eyes dark. In all the time that you had known him, Hudson had always proved to be a man who you were unable to second guess. His stern, stubborn, and sometimes quite overbearing attitude, made him such a difficult man to read. Captain Bridger was a more open personality, with a friendlier approach. And so you had found him easier to interact with. Hudson still made you nervous, but that did not mean you respected him any the less. In fact, Hudson had always seemed to defend you and show appreciation towards you.

“I received your request from Commander Ford for extended leave, and I need to discuss the reasons why. I hate the idea of losing you for such a period, and if you need help, then I’m willing to look into it. We can arrange therapy if you feel that’s what you need.” Hudson cupped his hands together and sighed loudly, then looked you directly in the eye. “I have a feeling you’re thinking of leaving. And before you say anything, can I be frank?”

“Of course, Sir,” you replied.

“You’re one of the best officers I’ve ever had the fortune and pleasure of working with, and losing you is the last thing I want to see.” As Hudson spoke, you could see the sadness in his face. “I read your psych evaluation that was put together by Doctor Smith two years ago, and I know you’ve struggled since you came aboard, but you’ve been a true soldier and braved it. I cannot commend you enough.”

“Thank you, Captain. And, yes, I will admit that leaving was something that had crossed my mind. I think I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way in this whole mess, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. If I take time away then that means from Lucas, too. I can’t let him influence my decision.”

Hudson smirked a little. “Mr. Wolenczak does tend to have that power of persuasion merely by looking at you with those puppy eyes of his. But I think he’s grown up enough now to realise that you aren’t sewn together.”

***

Captain Hudson agreed your leave, albeit grudgingly. Six weeks was agreed so you could go home to your family and consider your future. Lucas’ reaction was exactly what you had imagined: disbelief, sadness and the cold shoulder for the first couple of hours.

“I don’t want to be without you for six weeks!” Lucas exclaimed.

You sighed. “What about what I want? Everything I do is for someone else; I never do anything for myself. Please, Lucas, just try and see this from my perspective. I know it’ll be hard being apart, but we can call each other. It’s not like you’re on your own – you’ve got Tony and Dagwood.”

“Tony and Dagwood are hardly you, are they?” Lucas replied sarcastically.

On your return to seaQuest, while the sub remained at dock, you went back to your quarters to collect belongings. The corridors were quiet, with only the faintest hum from the aqua tunnels. This had been your home for just over two years now; you had laughed, cried and shouted. All manner of emotions had been experienced while aboard. In short, you had become fond of the place.

There was already a suitcase of belongings at your hotel, so this visit to your quarters would only be for essentials, such as your passport, military documentation and any other things you would need once you had had a good root through.

You looked up at your uniform which was neatly pressed and hung on a coat hanger and placed on the back of your door. Your rank and name were stitched on the left side of the chest. It made you think back to the day you were given your uniform. Excitement and apprehension had surged up your spine, and then getting your own room. Such a step up from the ship you were on previously where you had had to bunk with an annoying snob of a woman who thought she was better than you and called herself ‘one of the men’, which just meant that she went drinking with them often, and then found herself lying next to them the next morning after blacking out from alcohol. Last you had heard she had been transferred to desk duties within the UEO offices at New Cape Quest due to numerous disciplinary offences.

Your conscientious attitude seemed to have been the root of mockery through many of your teen and early adult years. Rules were there to be followed, not broken because you can’t be bothered to toe the line. And this was the real world now, not school.

***

On your first day back home with your parents, they prepared you a full roast meal and dessert. The very house you had grown up in would be your temporary home now for six weeks until you flew back to Florida to board seaQuest. You looked at your parents and still felt saddened by the extra grey hairs that they both now sported. More wrinkles were apparent in your mother’s neck and the creases in your father’s brow had grown deeper. A lot could happen in ten years, as you had found out. You were now an aunt to two more nieces. Your maternal grandmother had passed away, your eldest sister had divorced her husband. All of this had been explained to you through various communication over the last six months, but now it was all so real.

After dinner and your mother led you up to the guest room, your old room, which still had some of your posters on the walls, images of actors you had followed in your teen years and musicians who had kept you company with their songs when you were at your lowest points in life.

You hugged her tight, smelling her familiar perfume that she had worn for years. And in that moment is was as though time had spun back and you had never left home. You were back to being a teenager who clung to your parents because you felt so distant from the world, misunderstood by all your peers.

“I love you,” you whispered to your mother.

As you both pulled from the embrace, you saw a tear slide down your mother’s face. “I never gave up hope that you were alive,” she said. “I knew in my heart that you were alive. I could still feel you.”

That evening and you lay awake in bed, with a hot mug of herbal tea on the bedside table. Next to you were some of your old journals which you had found in a box on top of the wardrobe. Each one was marked on the cover with the year. 2005. 2007. 2010. 2013. 2014. It was now 2033. You should have been in your fourth decade now; maybe a mother, married. Those ten years had been snatched away; 2022 to 2032, erased. No matter where you were and you felt out of place and out of time. A wanderer. A seeker.

There was a chime from your tablet computer which was on the desk just across from your bed. It was an email. So simple and to the point. I love and miss you.

***

Lucas lay in bed every night, imagining you sleeping beside him. He’d taken your patchwork quilt and had it draped over him. Piccolo would be snoring on the bunk beneath him, and all he could do was lie awake, thinking of you and looking at the photos of you both that he had taped to the pipes above his bed. What if you decided to leave seaQuest? Should he go with you? Something told him that you would persuade him to stay and that you’d be apart.

One morning, just over a week since you had gone on leave, Lucas was in the mess hall early. Normally Lucas would get into the mess hall for about twenty minutes prior to duty and then make it just on time, by the skin of his teeth, to sit down and begin his hours. Today was different.

“You’re early!” Freddie exclaimed, sitting down at the table next to Lucas’. She began to peel a kiwi and took a sip of black coffee. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Lucas sighed.

Freddie wasn’t at all persuaded by his words and pulled her seat over closer to him. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“So much,” Lucas replied, sighing even louder this time. “And I kinda feel like this is the end somehow. There’s a bad feeling sitting in my stomach, and I can’t seem to move it.”

“Have you spoken to her recently?”

“We spoke last night. And…I just….I can’t stop feeling like she’s not telling me something. I know how much she needs this time to herself, but it’s like she’s purposefully keeping me out. Maybe I love her more than she loves me…”

“No, Lucas, I don’t think it’s because she loves you any less,” Freddie said. “I think maybe because she’s older, she somehow feels that she doesn’t want to put her worries on your shoulders. If anything, she might be trying to protect you.”

Lucas’ eyes grew wide in frustration. “But I don’t want her to protect me. I want to be there for her!”

Lonnie Henderson walked into the room as Lucas’ negative emotions burst, and she gave a quick smile, grabbed her breakfast and then head over to where Lucas was sitting. She didn’t even have to ask what the topic of conversation was about, or why Lucas had been distant the last week.

“Good morning,” Lonnie said, choosing not to ask what was happening. The last thing she wanted to do was cause any more tension. So she remained quiet and ate her oatmeal. However, she could see the sadness on Lucas’ face and she noticed Freddie keep glancing over.

During the shift, Lonnie kept an eye on Lucas. He was still in charge of the Cullen project, but all trails of the man and his accomplices had grown cold. Defragmentation and trailing through files was a regular occurrence for Lucas. Each morning he loaded his desktop computer in his quarters to begin scouring files. Nothing…as of yet.

That evening, Lonnie took it upon herself to call you. She sat in her quarters, dressed in an old T-shirt and plaid pyjamas bottoms, waiting for you to answer.

“Hello,” you said upon answering, sounding shocked upon receiving a call from Lonnie.

“Hey. How are you? Thought I’d check in with you.”

“I’m good, thank you. Enjoying being with my family. This is the first time I’ve seen them in person since we lost the ten years. How are things there?”

“It’s kinda boring at the moment. I…ummm, wanted to talk to you about Lucas.”

“Oh, okay,” you replied, a little concerned. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, but he misses you,” Lonnie began. “A lot. And, um, I overheard him talking with Freddie at breakfast this morning. He was really upset. I only caught little bits of the conversation. He seems to think you’re shutting him out. Lucas has a big heart, you know that. And all he wants is to help you and be there for you. We all know that he wears his heart on his sleeve. I’m talking to you as a friend here, and I’m not trying to pry into your relationship.”

“I know that, Lonnie, and I thank you so much for your kindness. But some of this needs to be sorted out on my own. I can’t pull Lucas into everything with me…”

“He doesn’t see it that way. He wants to go through everything with you. All he’s ever wanted is to feel needed and important. His father never wanted him, and I can’t even think of the last time he mentioned his mother. You’re the one who is the closest to him, and he needs to feel valued and trusted. Just…please, talk to him.”

“Shore leave was hard because I knew if I requested this leave then he would want to come with me. Maybe I’ve been on my own for too long and got used to working things out by myself.”

***

Just after your call with Lonnie, you called Lucas. Only this time, you were on camera with each other. As your call connected, you saw a huge smile on Lucas’ face and he leaned forward towards the screen. “Hey,” he said softly.

“I miss you,” you told him. At night and you felt cold, despite being wrapped in thick blankets. It was because you missed Lucas’ warmth. You missed his arms tight around you, and you missed putting your head on his chest where you’d listen to his heartbeat.

“And I miss you.”

Both of you laughed, grimaced, told stories of your week, and even sang, until you noticed that you had been on the call for nearly four hours. “You need to sleep,” you said softly, yawning. “It’s late, and you’ve got to be awake for shift tomorrow morning.”

Lucas smiled sleepily. “I love you.”

You couldn’t help but lower your head and smile, hiding a blush. The last four hours had thrown you back to your more care free days, when you had first come upon seaQuest. Your friendship with Lucas had been almost instantaneous. So alike, yet that age difference had been the one thing keeping you apart, until now.

You rested easier that night, feeling a weight lift. That distance had been bridged, by putting down old memories to let you come back together. For the first time in quite a few weeks, you drifted to sleep within a few minutes. In your mind, you dreamed of dancing down the corridors of seaQuest, your body twirling to a beautiful piece of piano music. Had you heard that music before? Or maybe you had created it from your own subconscious.

Upon waking, you smiled to yourself. Bright sun was filling the room and the faint scent of freshly mown grass wafted through your open window. However, as you leaned over to check your tablet, you felt shivers of fear race up your spine. An SOS was flashing. You must have been dead to the world and not heard any kind of alert sound. The SOS had been sent out by L. Wolenczak.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (10)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest DSV/2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. Asks and seaQuest related requests are now being taken!

Lucas took you out that evening to a restaurant a couple of blocks from the hotel. As you entered the building, Lucas stepped towards a smartly dressed gentleman at a podium. “Can I help you both?” the man asked, offering a faint expression of distain.

“I have a reservation under Wolenczak,” Lucas told him.

The man studied Lucas and you for a further second and then looked down at the reservation list. “Oh, yes,” he replied, acting surprised.

“Probably not snooty enough to be regulars in a place like this,” you scoffed, making sure your voice was just loud enough for the man to hear. You didn’t see his face, but could imagine his thick eyebrows raising off his face.

Once the man realised that you were military personnel, his attitude towards you completely changed. He slunk back over to your table after, disappearing away somewhere, offering you a free bottle of wine. Lucas just chuckled, and accepted the offer, even though he was a year under age for drinking.

The atmosphere of the restaurant was relaxing and cosy. No one seemed interested in either of you; all the customers were going about their business, chatting with each other without a care in the world. You glanced at the well-dressed people, seeing smiles, laughter and expressions of peace. With a sigh, you looked back at Lucas, who by now was busy reading the menu, mumbling the odd ‘that sounds good’ under his breath.

Lucas noticed your distant gaze and put the menu down. He reached across the table for your hand. “You okay?” he asked.

You knew you weren’t okay. Images of Cullen barging in began to invade your mind. You could see him holding the whole room of customers at gun point just to get to you and Lucas. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” you replied softly, shaking your head. Then you forced a smile, focusing your attention on your boyfriend. At that moment in time, he was all that mattered. Or rather, he was what should have mattered.

For the rest of the time at the restaurant, Lucas and you enjoyed your meal. Every now and then, between your spurts of chatter, you would notice him looking at you, studying your face. It still made you blush ever so slightly, like a smitten school girl from all those years ago. “What?” you asked in one instance, your smile growing.

“What?” he replied, trying to act ignorant.

“You keep watching me.” You narrowed your eyes teasingly, and took a sip of the wine you couldn’t refuse, despite not being much of a drinker.

“Why can’t I watch you? I have to keep reminding myself that you’re with me.”

Then you felt your cheeks flush even hotter and you looked down. “After everything that’s happened since we first met, I can’t say that I ever imagined us being together.”

“I always thought you’d end up with Tony or Brody,” Lucas laughed. “He’s always made me a bit envious in how he can easily be a ladies man.”

“Brody is definitely not my type. Don’t get me wrong, I think the world of him as a friend, but I could imagine him constantly flirting, even when with someone. And Tony?” You laughed, nearly sprinkling your table with red wine. “I love him, but he just hasn’t got the emotional maturity.”

“And I have?” Lucas chuckled.

“You’ve matured a lot the last year,” you replied. “Honestly, you’ve gone from strength to strength in so many ways, and I’m proud of you.”

***

You woke the early hours of the morning, a dull thump in your temples. Lucas was fast asleep beside you; he was on his side, facing away. Moonlight was shining through the window, pooling on the carpet next to your side of the bed. It drew you in. It was as if the moon was calling to you, beckoning you to the window. And slowly you rose from the bed, still naked from your love making, and you stepped to the large window. In the distance it looked as though crystals were laid out across a backdrop of moving sapphires. The sea could be so peaceful, yet so terrifying. You preferred this view. You wanted to now become an outsider of the deepest depths, not continue to live your life beneath the waves.

The idea of leaving seaQuest played on your mind for much of that night, keeping you awake. There was no strength left inside you; Cullen had taken it, all of it. How could you tell your boyfriend, your friends and your commanding officers that you felt like a mere shell of the person you’d once been? That Cullen had taken away every ounce of emotional and mental strength that you had worked hard for. And now all you wanted was to rest, away from the sea. There was a life away from the navy that you were yearning for, the life you had once known. Ordinary life. An ordinary world.

At sunrise you left a note for Lucas on the bedside table and disappeared down the hallway, making your way downstairs and into the lobby. A young woman, blonde, and wearing gold-rimmed glasses wished you a good morning. There was a gentle breeze, giving a distinct nip to the air, as you stepped outside.

You stopped for a few seconds and breathed in deep, letting the cool air fill up your lungs. Your pulse began to slow down and, despite all the clutter of thought, your mind emptied. Through the cool air, you felt the faintest warmth of the sun dancing on your skin. You couldn’t help but smile. How you missed the sun and the natural air of this beautiful Earth.

It was just shy of seven in the morning when you walked into a coffee shop, ordered a latte and sat down at the back table. The odd customer flitted in and out, grabbing a morning drink before their walk or commute to work, you assumed. There was something strangely satisfying about watching strangers, making up backstories to them. No doubt your silly little musings were probably wrong, as you considered that most people were shocked when you told them that you were in the navy. As a matter of fact, when you had been out with some of your friends from seaQuest, none of them really stood out as military men and women. All of you wore masks, swapping them when needed. You slipped into the role that you needed to be in. One day you were an officer on the bridge of the most infamous submarine in the world, a leader and confident decision maker, and the next day you were enjoying shore leave, fun-loving and care free. However, your previous fun loving days seemed to be years ago.

You decided that once everyone else had started shore leave, then you would approach either Brody or Commander Ford to discuss your considerations of leaving seaQuest. Things were far too different now. Your relationship change with Lucas and the whole Cullen nightmare had left you dissatisfied with your life in the military. It was a life you had chosen at a whim, just under a decade ago, and now you knew that it would probably never be a long term career choice for you. But what about Lucas? He had grown up aboard seaQuest and everyone whom he loved was there. Could the two of you keep a relationship going so far apart? If you remained on board the sub, and things didn’t get better, you knew you’d become resentful and that was something you never wanted to feel.

***

The next two days were difficult as you attempted to keep your mask of happiness firmly in place. But you suspected that Lucas knew that something was bothering you deeply. When you walked hand in hand through the streets, he would look at you. And you would glance back, offering a faint smile. Then you would notice the expression of sadness and questioning wash over his face.

On the morning just before your agreed meeting with Commander Ford, Lucas stood over you as you sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down at you, his eyes dark and his hand on his hip. “Please, tell me what’s going on,” he said, his voice full of desperation. “Is it me? Is it the whole Cullen thing? Talk to me…please. Don’t keep shutting me out like this. I can’t take it,” he begged. Tears filled his blue eyes.

You got up from the bed and embraced Lucas. “I’m sorry,” you whispered to him, kissing his cheek. “I just…I don’t know. I feel like I’m constantly running on empty.” Both of you moved out of your embrace to look at each other, and then sat down on the bed, side by side. “I suppose it started when Hudson became captain, and then Cullen and everything just made it all worse. And now I’m considering leaving the navy. I just want peace, and I don’t know if staying on board seaQuest will give me that. That’s why I’m meeting Commander Ford later. I need someone to look at things objectively. Talking to you, Lonnie or Tony, and you’d only try to get me to stay.”

“I wish you’d have told me,” Lucas replied.

You half expected him to be angry, but as you looked upon Lucas, all you saw was sadness. “I’m sorry. You don’t need my problems on top of yours.”

“Hey?” Lucas cupped your cheek and smiled. “What have I always said? I’m here for you and that will never change. Everything that you’re going through, I want to be a part of it with you.”

Suddenly your chest tightened and tears streamed down your cheeks. You wept uncontrollably for a few minutes and Lucas held you tight. Everything poured out of you; tension, sadness, anxiety. It all swept out of you in your tears. The dam had broken and neither of you said a word as it all came loose.

At 14:00 hours, you got yourself ready for the meeting with Commander Ford. He had agreed to meet you in the lobby of the hotel, just the two of you. Lucas had already offered to escort you and remain with you, but you declined the offer. Instead, Lucas was going to spend the afternoon with Tony and Dagwood.

The restaurant and bar at the hotel was fairly quiet. A couple of guests were watching a large TV mounted on the wall which was playing a baseball game. Commander Ford was already there, ordering himself a coffee. He smiled as you approached and offered to buy you one too, which you gratefully accepted.

Both of you sat down just around the corner of the main bar area, out of sight as so no one would overhear your conversation. “Thank you for meeting me,” you said.

“It’s no problem at all,” Ford replied. “What’s bothering you?”

“I wanted to talk to someone with a more objective view, rather than talk with someone who would try and talk me out of things. But I’m considering requesting leave of duty. Things haven’t been the same since Captain Hudson took over, and I’m not blaming him, but I just can’t focus like I used to. And the ordeal with Cullen made things worse, and now…”

“Can I just stop you there?” Ford asked, raising his hand for emphasis. “Before you go into more detail, I think you might need extended leave to get your thoughts together. What happened to you is something I can only imagine must have caused a lot of trauma. So I can put forward a request to Captain Hudson requesting extended leave for you. You need some time away, on your own, and I mean away from Lucas, too. Make sure that this is what you want.”

You smiled. “I think you’re right. Maybe I was too rash in my idea of just leaving. I think as humans, sometimes out first instinct is to run away. That’s something we can’t do in our positions. I think I’m becoming a coward…” You lowered your head and felt a tear slide down your cheek.

“You are not a coward,” Ford told you, leaning forward. “You said it, you’re human. But you can’t afford to remain on duty and not be in the right frame of mind and wind up making fatal mistakes. That’s blunt, I know. It has to be said. Hudson and I can’t have you at your station when you’re not at your best. Leave this with me, and I’ll talk to Captain Hudson. Maybe Dr. Perry can write a recommendation of medical leave. If that’s the case then you’ll need to check in with her, but you won’t be put back on active duty until she has had her final say.”

After your meeting with Commander Ford, you had a long, hot bath. You lowered yourself into the water, your ears below the surface so your hearing became muffled. The heat suspended you in time, and the lavender scent of the salts wafted up your nose. Everything left you…

You didn’t know how long you had dozed off in the bath, but the water felt slightly cooler now. So you washed and then got out, changing into jeans, a camisole and one of Lucas’ oversized shirts. You could smell his deodorant on it and smiled to yourself. Everything became a blur as you dropped down onto the bed and let sleep take you away again.

In your dream and you were back home, your old childhood home, sitting in the garden. In the heavens above, you watched shooting stars and a gorgeous green aurora swirl against a jet black backdrop. All you could hear was the faint rustling of a tree in the distance.

Lucas came back that evening to find you fast asleep on the bed. He pulled a blanket over you and watched you sleep for a few seconds before getting up to check his portable computer of any updates from seaQuest.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (4)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! People are probably wondering why I’m still continuing this fic when it gets so little feedback, but it’s purely because I enjoy writing it. It’d a pleasure to be reminiscing in old times.

That night, while you remained in the Med Bay, the mess hall seemed to begin hosting a midnight coffee refreshment for a handful of crew. Lonnie Henderson wandered into the room, drying the sweat from her brow and neck after waking suddenly from a nightmare of being suffocated by unseen hands. She saw Jim Brody sat with his head in his hands, and one of the engineers was resting with their eyes closed and their feet up on a chair.

“Tough night?” Lonnie asked, approaching Brody.

He gasped suddenly, nearly jolting out of his chair. “Yeah….ugh…..sorry,” he grumbled, and rubbed his face, trying to force himself more fully awake.

“What’s going on tonight?” Lonnie asked. “No one can sleep and everyone is on edge.” She then said your name and her eyes widened. “Do you think it’s got anything to do with her and the virus?”

“I doubt it,” Brody scoffed. “A virus that gives panic attacks and nightmares?”

“Come on, Jim. We’ve seen things more unbelievable than that in the last two years. We’ve contacted aliens and come face to face with Greek gods, yet we can’t believe that a virus may exist which causes panic and fear?”

Lucas remained in the Med Bay that night, falling asleep next to your bed. The gentle beeping of the monitors swept him into a dream. There was water, screams and fear. They were your screams; begging him for help. Lucas only remembered the cold water and your screams as he jerked awake.

Your eyes were open and you were smiling at him. “You okay? Have a bad dream?” you asked, yawning. You felt groggy, but strangely content, especially upon seeing Lucas.

He rushed to you, cupped your cheek and then kissed you softly. But gradually the kiss grew deeper, and hotter, until he pulled away. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Just tired,” you replied.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Can I have a cold drink, please? Soda, milk, water. Just something cold.”

Lucas left the room and you pulled yourself up slowly. A thumping headache began in your temples and behind your eyes, a sure sign of tension and stress that you knew all too well.

***

The next two days saw more crew visiting not only the mess hall at night but the Med Bay, asking for advice on nightmares and panic attacks. Even Captain Hudson had noticed that he seemed more on edge of late. There were far too many crew affected now for it not to be noticeable and not be a problem that needed addressing.

Jonathan Ford and Tim O’Neill, along with a couple of the engineers, Dagwood, the chief cook and the doctor himself, were the only people who seemed to be unaffected. Every other person was showing symptoms, to varying degrees, of fear, panic and dread.

On the third day of you being in the Med Bay, a mild sedative still in your system to calm the nightmares you were having a night, you were awoken to Lieutenant Fredricks being pulled into the room by Brody and O’Neill.

“Please, don’t. They’ll run experiments on me,” she wept, pulling against the two men either side of her.

The screams had pulled you out of another beckoning nightmare with the visiting shadow demon, who sometimes came to you at night and stood at the foot of your bed. All of the noise and commotion shook you to the core, causing a shockwave of anxiety to race through you like a power surge. But your concern for your comrade still trumped the fear you felt.

“Freddie?” you called to her. She continued weeping uncontrollably as Brody and the doctor held her down on the bed, ready to administer a sedative. “Freddie? You’ll be okay. I promise. They won’t hurt you.” You slipped out of bed, almost falling in your weakness, and you took her hand in yours. “Shhh, it’ll be okay.”

The feel of your hand in hers, and your kind words, soothed Fredricks as the sedative was administered by the doctor.

“How can she feel so much fear when she has an implant?” Brody asked.

“The virus is somehow overpowering every other emotion in those who are the worst affected,” the doctor replied. “I don’t think the sedatives, long term, will be enough. The UEO still has no idea what’s causing this. They’re requesting blood works be sent of each crew member who is affected, which is over eighty per cent. I don’t know if I can get that many reports sent over all at once in the time frame they’re asking for.”

“How long are they asking for, Doc?”

“A week. I’ve only got the capacity to run five blood samples every twelve hours. That’s ten every twenty-four hours, and there are well over a hundred crew affected by this. If this gets worse, we may have to abandon the tour and return to land to fully hospitalise and test everyone. And we don’t know how contagious this is or where it came from.”

By the end of the week, the Med Bay was full. Most of the crew were utterly exhausted through lack of sleep due to night terrors. Frequent fights were breaking out over mundane issues. The latest fight had been when Tony Piccolo had had the last croissant at breakfast, pissing off an engineer. A broken nose and black eye later, Tony found himself in the Med Bay for a couple of hours.

You still kept dreaming of the shadow demon, and often you huddled under the covers, hiding from him, just in case he appeared at the end of your bed again. The fear seemed to come in waves; you would be peaceful for a few hours and then suddenly feel the panic rise and see the shadow at the end of your bed, set with glowing eyes and saliva dripping from sharp fangs. Nights were horrendous as that’s when the most fear came out to play and it hung over you all like a thick mist. Fredricks often woke screaming in the bed next to you. The engineer in the bed opposite you had had regular seizures. Thankfully, you had only had one.

The milder cases meant that crew had to continue working, despite being exhausted. Jonathan Ford felt as though he had had no sleep in a week. Every waking moment and he was on the bridge, taking the helm for part of it while Hudson tried to ward off the anxiety that was beginning to get the better of him. Tim O’Neill hadn’t seen his quarters in days, and was often found most nights dozing off in his seat on the bridge. Dagwood had even offered to help, but his kind offer was politely rejected.

Captain Hudson had been having regular talks with Secretary McGath, and it was now becoming a viable option to abandon the tour and return to shore. However, this virus was still unknown, and the UEO would have to make sure that strict quarantine procedures were put in place once the seaQuest returned to its berth. Crew would not be able to disembark immediately. McGath reassured Hudson that everything that could be done by the UEO was being done. The blood samples were being tested; each crew member, one by one, even those who were not affected and weren’t showing symptoms. Some were being tested multiple times. Even full genome scanning had now begun to try to pinpoint some kind of link to all those affected. The UEO had already received the sub’s black box recordings, knowing exactly where it was at any given time. No other infections had been reported in the waters recently visited.

Lucas lay in his bunk, listening to Tony’s snores from below. The snores had been louder and more obnoxious since his broken nose. Lucas was scared to sleep. Dark circles were beginning to frame his blue eyes, marring his pale complexion. Every evening and he visited you, sitting with you for a couple of hours. He would read to you, trying to soothe your nerves. But Fredricks’ outbursts would put you on edge and Lucas knew that any kind of relaxation was impossible. Whenever he closed his eyes, Lucas would see the water and hear you calling for him. It all felt so real, maybe too real.

The hallways were quiet, but then he would feel the energy buzzing from the mess hall, which was usually full of half dozing crew. Should he go for a wander tonight? Maybe a swim with Darwin would help. Or would the water only exacerbate the dreams?

He didn’t know how long he lay awake, but Lucas looked up at the pipes which ran above his bunk. He looked at the photo of you both which he had taped to the metal. You had your eyes open wide, shocked, whilst Lucas was gritting his teeth, pretending to be angry. He remembered fondly all the staged photographs that Tony took of you both whenever you were on shore leave back when Captain Bridger was aboard. There was such a happiness and peace amongst the crew. He remembered when Jim Brody had attempted to flirt with you once or twice, for him only to be scoffed at. Flirting had never impressed you. Humour and compassion impressed you.

He missed you so much, and slowly he turned over, pulling a pillow to his chest, trying to imagine it was you. To think that Lucas had been prepared to give up his place on seaQuest when he met Sandra just over a year ago. She had deceived him, pretending to interested in a relationship, when she only wanted the emergency codes to gain access to seaQuest. And now he was with you. It was a much, much deeper connection, that ran right through to his bones. It had become a dependency on you, a need, and considering that you were the one who had taken his virginity, that made everything so much stronger. Even though he had always had a crush on you since your first meeting, his very brief relationship with Sandra helped him forget the unrequited feelings he had for you. But then they came back even stronger. You had been the one to pick up the pieces of his broken trust that she had left behind.

Lucas lay awake, his eyes stinging with fatigue. Until finally he jumped down from his bunk and wondered out into the hallway, venturing towards your quarters. He just wanted to be close to you in some way, even if only sleeping on your bed.

The room smelled of you, sweet and flowery. And as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him, Lucas smiled to himself. There was a small stack of books on your desk with a pot of pens, all alongside your computer. A potted, ornamental plant and two matching china owls decorated the desk.

On your bed was your favourite patchwork quilt and on the wall were photos and little drawings that you had doodled. Lucas looked closer at the photos, recognising a few of you both with other members of the crew on shore leave. Then there were pictures of you with people whom he had never seen before, no doubt old friends or family members.

Lucas lay on your bunk and wrapped himself in your quilt, inhaling. He immediately felt warmth radiate through his chest and stomach, easing the tension. Exhaustion made it impossible for him to stay awake any longer, and gradually he fell into a deep sleep.

The dream changed; it was no longer water, but darkness. A light shone in the distance, a faint candlelight and when he got closer to it, he saw that he was standing in an empty garden. A candle, resting in a glass jar was upon the grass. He picked up the candle and began to walk, following a pathway. The whole place was empty, quiet and dark. The feeling of being so alone made Lucas’ heart speed up, pounding like a drum in his chest. Where was everyone?

He began to call, hoping someone would answer. But nothing. No one was there. Everyone had deserted him.

With a gasp, Lucas woke suddenly. He wiped his cheek, only to feel a tear clinging to it.

***

Captain Hudson reluctantly agreed for UEO officers to come aboard seaQuest in two days’ time to begin the gradual emptying of the sub of all crew. The crew would be taken to a contained quarantine facility in Florida whilst tests were still being carried out and their symptoms could be monitored closer.

Secretary McGath’s image dominated Hudson’s screen in his quarters. “Captain, it’s obvious that the crew aren’t recovering from this virus, whatever it is, and bringing the seaQuest into berth could possibly cause a contamination of the coastlines.

“So you’re saying that the boat has to be left out here in the middle of the Atlantic with no crew aboard?” Hudson asked in disbelief.

“Oliver, what else do you propose we do? The biggest cause for concern is the sub’s bio skin which can quite easily carry viruses and disease. Until we know what this virus is and how it’s affecting the crew, we have no other option. seaQuest will have to remain dead in the water until our chief scientists have figured out what needs to be done. All the sub’s recordings and mission data are still being analysed.”

***

seaQuest tag list: @shrimpsthings​

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (1)

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you're not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references, age difference/gap. 

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! 

For the next two months, you found that hiding your relationship with Lucas from the stern and abrupt Captain Hudson, seemed to keep a spark alight. Time alone together was limited but you both enjoyed it and anticipated the end of working shifts. Practically everyone aboard knew of the relationship, apart from Hudson and Lieutenant Fredricks, who had served for some years under his command before coming aboard seaQuest. You didn’t trust her enough with something this private and potentially career shattering if it was handled the wrong way.

One day you were in your usual seat next to Lucas on the bridge. The two of you were laughing quite loudly when Hudson strolled through the large, steel double doors. “Please do share with all of us what is so amusing, Lieutenant. Has this place turned into a playground? Maybe I should treat you like children and separate you,” Hudson growled, scowling at you both.

“I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again,” you apologised with a blush.

“Make sure it doesn’t!” Hudson instructed.

A heavy feeling sat in the pit of your stomach for the remainder of the morning, until you were approached by Hudson. “A word, please, in my quarters, Lieutenant,” he told you.

The heaviness suddenly got even stronger, feeling like an elephant was standing on your head, pressing you down into the floor. Your legs were weak, but you remained calm and composed outwardly, and followed the Captain off the bridge.

“Close the door and take a seat,” he told you.

With a deep breath, you sat down. You could feel a thin layer of sweat beginning to drop from under your hair, and you prayed that Hudson couldn’t see it.

“Lieutenant,” Hudson began, folding his hands on his desk. “It’s been a pleasure so far to have you aboard, but I’m concerned about your relationship with Ensign Wolenczak. You work well together; there’s no denying that. But you sometimes appear a little tooclose for my liking.”

“We’re very close friends, Sir. We’ve been through a lot together the last two years, and it’s difficult to not bond,” you replied.

“I want to make you aware that if two officers are found to be sharing in a relationship which is more than professional in nature, they can both be stripped of rank and ejected from Naval duty. You are aware, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, Sir. And I can assure you that Ensign Wolenczak and I are only close friends,” you lied.

“Good. I’d hate to lose one of my best officers, and one who is upcoming and showing a lot of potential. Dismissed, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, Sir,” you replied, saluted, and left the room.

On the bridge and you sheepishly sat back down, noticing pairs of eyes watching you in interest.

“What happened?” Lucas whispered, leaning across his seat towards you.

“We need to talk tonight,” you whispered back, your gaze making sure that no one was in close enough proximity to hear you. “I think Hudson suspects what’s going on.”

“What? How?” Shock was present in his harsh whisper.

“I don’t know. Shh!” you instructed.

Lucas looked up to see Captain Hudson come strolling back on to the bridge. He noticed you and the Captain exchange knowing glances.

It was incredibly tense on the bridge that afternoon, just like it had been when you and Lucas first started exploring your feelings. Had someone whistle blown? Surely not. Those who knew of your relationship were close friends with you both. Not even Jonathan Ford, the second in command, would have dropped you into such a tight spot. He may have been professional, sticking to Naval code, but he was also understanding and compassionate. Commander Ford was human, recognising the flaws, yet beauty, of our nature.

When it was time for shift rotation, you walked off the bridge quickly, leaving Lucas behind to untangle himself from his headset and leave his seat in a rush. By the time he got through the doors and you had already turned the corner towards your quarters.

“We need to talk,” he demanded.

You stopped and sighed, feeling tears begin to fill your eyes. “After dinner.”

Lucas’ stomach was flipping from that time onwards, and he knew there was no way that he could eat and keep it down. Your relationship wasn’t going to last and that terrified him. The very thing that kept him happy and helped him get out of bed in a morning was falling apart.

Lucas remained in his quarters for an hour, looking at the photos of him and you that he had kept hidden in a book on his desk. You both looked so happy and in love with life. Behind your uniform was someone who was always laughing, never without a kind word and a keen mind for art, music and literature. There was nothing about you, when out of uniform, that screamed Navy.

Suddenly there was a knock and he turned to see you peep your head around the door. Like him, you were still in uniform. You said his name softly and stood before him. You took his hand and held it against your chest. Tears were falling down your cheeks.

He released your hand, cupped your cheeks and kissed you. Both of you became caught up in the waves of passion, and as you parted, you couldn’t help but sob.

“Come here,” Lucas whispered. He took you into his arms and kissed your head. “We’ll sort something. I promise.”

“We can’t carry on, Lucas. Hudson basically threatened me with the fact that if we’re caught then we’ll be thrown off seaQuest and out of the Navy. We’re risking our careers.”

“Fuck my career!” Lucas exclaimed. “I love you.”

Hearing those words made your body jolt. You closed your eyes for a second, composing yourself. “You throw yourself into everything head first and never think of the consequences. You almost resigned from seaQuest for a girl you’d known one night.”

“What are you saying? That I don’t know anything? I’m still a child,” Lucas growled.

“I never said that. You need to think, and I mean well and truly. Think about what you want.”

“Oh, and you don’t need to consider that? I can already gather your answer. I’m not enough. Your rank and career is more important than me.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Lucas!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands up for emphasis. “I’d do anything for you, and you know that. I always have. I’ve stayed up with you at night, protected you, loved you.” You couldn’t help but sit down on the edge of Tony’s bunk and weep.

Lucas got down on his knee before you and held your hands in his. “What do you want?” he asked softly.

“To be happy with you. Care free,” you replied.

Lucas smiled as he heard those words. “And I want you to be happy. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

You loved that so much about Lucas. He followed his heart and would do anything for it. All or nothing. You leaned forward and kissed him again, and this time he moved upwards and over you, with you lying back on the bed. His confidence had soared to new heights and he often took control of your intimacy, despite it being limited due to circumstances.

At dinner you sat with Lucas and Lonnie. The conversation turned to your chat with Hudson earlier.

“Someone must have told him,” you said.

“I don’t think so,” Lonnie replied. “You know that not one of us would have said anything. I think he’s reading between the lines.”

Suddenly Commander Ford called both you and Lucas to him. He remained silent and guided you down to the Ward Room, which was empty. All of you stepped inside.

“Captain Hudson has requested you be separated on opposite shift rotations. Lucas, you’ll stay on the day shifts that’s running presently.” Then he turned to you. “You’ll go on duty tomorrow night with Brody and Piccolo.”

“Why is he doing this?” Lucas asked.

“You know why,” you replied angrily.

“I’m sorry,” Ford said sadly. “I tried to reason with him but he wasn’t listening.”

Later that evening, Lucas was in your quarters. The two of you were discussing Hudson’s latest move to keep you both apart.

“He’s serious about this, Lucas,” you began. “He won’t stop until we never see each other at all. We can’t keep a relationship going like this. He knows we’re together. This isn’t a way of just making sure; he knows.”

“Even before we were officially together as a couple, Captain Bridger saw us together all the time and never suspected a thing.”

“To him I was your mother hen,” you said softly, smiling weakly. You remembered happier times and wished that they still existed.

***

The next morning, while you remained in your quarters, preparing ahead of your night shift, Lucas was called into the Ward Room with the Captain.

“Mr. Wolenczak,” Hudson said, turning towards Lucas once the door had been closed. “You’re probably aware of why I want to speak with you.” Then he said your name with a sigh. “I’m aware that you two have probably become a lot closer than you should have.”

“If you’re referring to an intimate relationship, then no, Sir. We’re very good friends.”

“Ensign, take a seat.”

Lucas sat opposite Hudson, his hands beginning to shake and sweat with nervousness and apprehension.

“I know how feelings can develop when you’re constantly around the same people. We bond through hardships. And you’re still an impressionable young man.”

“What are you saying, Captain?” Lucas asked, leaning across the table a little. “If you think she’s somehow managed to talk me into…”

“No, I’m not saying that. You’re still young and have plenty of time.”

“With all due respect, Sir, dating and my personal life isn’t really something I’d like to share.”

“While you’re on my boat and under my command, Ensign, none of it is personal,” Hudson countered in irritation. “I’m well aware that you spend a lot of time in one another’s quarters, and you really think I’m that stupid? Take this as a warning to you both to stop this right now!”

Lucas glared at Hudson angrily.

“Dismissed, Ensign.”

Lucas stormed out of the Ward Room, smacking into Dagwood on the way who was busy cleaning the hallway floor.

“Lucas?” Dagwood called innocently after his friend. Lucas never replied and disappeared out of sight of the dagger.

In the Moon Pool, Lucas paced in front of Darwin. The dolphin looked on in interest, his head just above the water. Why was Hudson being such a bastard? Couldn’t Navy officers find love, settle down and be human? And why couldn’t it be with someone they worked with? How else would Lucas have time to meet anyone? It was true what Hudson had said: people bond during hardship. That was exactly what had helped Lucas fall for you as deeply as he had. You helped him through his hardship which was mainly feeling unimportant and lonely. Everything was being ripped away from him and it was at times such as these that he missed Nathan Bridger more than he could express.

Once Lucas finally returned to duty, Hudson was waiting on the bridge. He shot over to Lucas, inches away from his face. “Next time that you decide to just disappear from your duty because you have been told something you don’t like, I’ll have you thrown into the brig for subordination.”

“Lucas, don’t be stupid,” a voice came from behind him.

You were stood just behind Lucas, looking toward the two fired up men. In your hand was an envelope. “I wish to request a transfer, Captain,” you announced.

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (5)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! People are probably wondering why I’m still continuing this fic when it gets so little feedback, but it’s purely because I enjoy writing it. It’d a pleasure to be reminiscing in old times.

You lay awake, crying. It was a week after your first panic attack. The doctor had been forced to begin turning crew away from the Med Bay to treat them in other areas of the boat, such as the mess hall and gymnasium. Because you were one of the first to show symptoms of this virus, the doctor made sure that you remained close by in the Med Bay so he could test you daily. You were the ‘ground zero’ case. Over the last week and you had seen panic attacks, seizures and complete mental breakdowns of crew. There had been fights, screaming and paranoia. It was clawing at you from the inside, the screams and bellows; even when things were silent, you could still hear it all ringing in your ears. Life in the military had been an enormous life change and exciting experience, but now there was a small part of you which was starting to regret enlisting. No bad experience in your life had come close to the last week.

Fredricks suddenly began to cry out in her sleep again, tossing and turning. Her blanket was flung onto the floor and the bed beneath her creaked. You knew you couldn’t stand this any longer. With tears still falling down your cheeks, you got up and ventured out into the emptiness of the corridor. It was always eerily quiet during the witching hours. With only a very bare minimum crew working, everyone else was either sedated or could control themselves enough to remain quiet. Your heartbeat quickened and you breathed deep. Whilst you held each breath in your lungs for a few seconds, you thought of Lucas. Your mind may have been working against you, turning your whole body into a ticking bomb, but you were adamant you would re-gain control of yourself again.

Once you had reached your quarters, you turned the large, round lock and stepped inside. To your surprise, you found Lucas curled up on your bed. His eyes snapped open and he jumped.

“I’m sorry,” you exclaimed, holding out your hand for emphasis. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Lucas whispered your name and bolted from the bed towards you, his hands immediately cupping your cheeks. He looked down at you with so much happiness and contentment in his eyes. “I love you,” he told you. “I just like being close to you at night.”

You both kissed for a few seconds and then sank in each other’s arms. Being in Lucas’ arms calmed you, and you sighed. His body was warm, comfortable, protective. “What are you doing up?” he asked, his voice muffled slightly as he kissed your neck, the two of you still locked in an embrace.

“I can’t stand being in there, Lucas. Freddie cries and screams every night. The two engineers opposite me were shouting at each other again this afternoon, and I just can’t take anymore of this. How are you feeling?”

Lucas smiled as he drew from the embrace and looked upon you. Even when you were struggling mentally, you still put him first. “Don’t worry about me. You need to go back to the Med Bay. The doctor can keep check on you in case you have a seizure or panic attack again.”

“I’m prodded with needles every morning. He’s constantly taking my blood pressure and…” you broke down and wept. “I want to go home, Lucas. I can’t stand being here anymore. I feel like I’m going to die and I’ll never see my family again before the end….”

“Shhh,” Lucas whispered, taking you into his arms again. He gently took you over to your bed and wrapped the quilt around you. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. Do you trust me?”

Through watery eyes, you looked up at your boyfriend. “You know I do.”

“Then trust me when I say that I’ll keep you safe. We’re all being taken to a hospital in twenty-four hours, and I’ll stay right beside you. I will never leave your side.”

You shook in Lucas’ arms.

He held you all night.

When you finally woke, you heard someone shouting, “She’s in here!” Commander Ford stormed into your quarters, terrifying you.

“What are you doing, Lieutenant? You were meant to remain in Med Bay,” Ford told you.

Lucas woke with a start and glared at Ford. “Give her a break, Commander,” he growled. “She can’t take it being cooped up in there.”

“No, Lucas. He’s right. I should have stayed in the Med Bay,” you said, getting to your feet to look at the Commander. “I just needed time away last night. It was getting unbearable being in there, and I wanted something more personal. I wanted to be back in my own bed.”

The doctor walked into your quarters, standing behind Commander Ford.

“Lucas, you should leave now,” Ford ordered. “You don’t want the Captain to know about this.”

“I was looking after her, Commander. She was terrified,” Lucas countered.

“Ensign, I understand that, but I’m ordering you to leave this room now. This isn’t up for debate.”

“Lucas, please. If Captain Hudson finds out…Thank you, Commander,” you said softly.

You sighed as you sat down on the empty bed in the Med Bay, where you had been housed the last week. The blanket was still tossed aside and a large dent in the pillow where your head had lain. Fredricks was still asleep in her bed next to yours, and for once she actually looked peaceful.

The doctor left the Med Bay about an hour later after completing his round of everyone there, and moved to the other make shift medical rooms. As he left, Dagwood walked in, mopping the floor.

“No point doing that. We’re all being moved out at 12:00 hours,” the engineer opposite you spat. He glared at Dagwood in sheer distain.

“What is your problem?” you hissed. “He’s only doing his job, more than can be said for you!”

Dagwood stopped mopping and looked between you and the engineer, his dark eyes bright with confusion and nervousness. “Dagwood is only doing what he normally does. Captain Hudson lets me clean.”

“And you keep on cleaning, Dagwood,” you reassured with a smile. “He can leave if he has a problem.”

“You fucking…” the engineer began, jumping from his bed.

In that moment, you felt your adrenaline rush through you, and you lunged out of bed, coming almost eye to eye with the engineer. “Go on, big man,” you growled. “Do it!” The engineer wasn’t a particularly large man, certainly not Dagwood’s size. He was taller than you by a few inches, but a little scrawny for working in the Navy and working with tools on a daily basis.

“Don’t fight,” Dagwood said in sadness. “Men don’t hit ladies.”

You scoffed. “I would loosely classify him as a man.”

Where had this sudden surge in anger come from?

The engineer attempted to grab you but was then tossed aside by Dagwood. His small frame was like a mere feather, light, to Dagwood. You glared at the man’s dark, evil stare as he was pinned to the wall by the Dagger.

The adrenaline was still surging, until suddenly you only saw darkness.

You opened your eyes and saw only bright lights. There was the chatter of distant voices on the air and the beeping of medical machines. Everything was pure white, sterile and reminded you of when your grandmother died. Disinfectant was thick on the air. All around you were curtains, which you pulled aside. Next to you was Jim Brody.

“Where are we?” you asked, battling your tired eyes against the blinding lights all around you.

“The main science and medical wing a few miles from the UEO headquarters,” Brody replied.

“Where’s Lucas?” you asked. “Are you okay?”

“Lucas is further down the room. But I think they’ve taken him for an MRI. We’re all going one by one. How are you feeling? You had another seizure,” Brody told you.

“Got a bit of a headache but I feel calm,” you replied.

“Good, you’re awake,” a voice came, muffled. You looked upon someone in a full body suit and protective face mask. You could only just see a pair of eyes staring out of the thick, plastic visor. “Your MRI results have come back normal as we took you straight in when you arrived. Your doctor tells us that you’re the first person to show symptoms.”

“Yes,” you replied simply. “Do you have any idea what’s caused all this?”

The man – well, as far as you could tell, it was a man – never answered your question and began typing on a handheld computer tablet.

“I take that as either a no, or you’re just not prepared to tell us,” you huffed sarcastically. “I think it’s the latter.”

Brody chuckled to himself from the next bed.

Suddenly you heard your name being called and you turned, tracing the direction of the call. Lucas came racing down the centre of the room towards you. “Thank God you’re awake,” he said, grabbing you in a tight embrace.

“Can you back off, please, Ensign?” the man in the suit asked, his voice sounding full of disgust.

“Whether you like it or not, he stays with me,” you demanded, and reluctantly let go of Lucas.

Lucas held your hand tight and remained by your bed side as the man in the suit took your blood pressure, temperature and another blood sample.

One by one, each person who had been aboard the seaQuest had blood samples taken, their blood pressure taken, MRI scans and had their files assessed. Even the crew who were seemingly immune were tested, their results showing as a baseline for everyone else’s. That afternoon, just before evening set in, and Captain Hudson, who had been being checked in his own private room, addressed the majority of his crew who were in the large open space which was filled with rows of beds.

“The seaQuest is currently being tested thoroughly for signs of what caused this virus to spread so rapidly. Before we’re able to set foot back on board, the boat will undergo decontamination procedures,” Hudson said. A large circle of people was standing around him, spaced out between their beds.

“What about Darwin?” Lucas asked.

“The dolphin is safe, Ensign. He’s been taken to a medical tank and is being tested the same as we all are. Secretary McGath advises me that scientists from all over the country are looking into this; doctors have been flown in and we hope to be back in the water within the next seven to ten days.”

“Do they have any idea at all, Captain?” Brody asked, his arms folded across his chest.

Hudson sighed. “It’s been proposed that what we’re experiencing is a hormonal reaction to some kind of natural toxin that has been brought aboard, which has probably mutated and become a virus. This could be why the dolphin hasn’t shown any signs of it, along with certain members of the crew, including Dagwood, who has a completely different genetic structure to us. Like with most viruses, some people are naturally immune and some people are affected worse than others. Our coordinates for the last month are being analysed to try and piece together where this toxin may have come from.”

Captain Hudson disappeared a short time later, having been called into a vid-link meeting with Secretary McGath and the head of the science division within the UEO.

Meals were given out: disgusting looking, sloppy food in metal trays. It reminded you of something the children in workhouse would eat in nineteenth century Victorian England. Brody had since swapped beds with Lucas and disappeared further up the room, allowing you time with your boyfriend.

“I can’t eat that,” you grimaced and dropped the tray down on your bedside table.  “I’m starting to get suspicious that they’ve put something in it. You know what these testing facilities are like, especially when the doctors wear hazmat suits. It’s a wonder we don’t start turning into mutants or something.”

“Ain’t you a joy to be around,” Piccolo chuckled from two beds down to your left.

“Don’t tell me that you don’t get a weird vibe from all this though, Tony?” you asked, looking past the officer to your left in order to make eye contact with Piccolo.

“You heard what the Captain said. We should be out of here in ten days tops,” Lucas told you.

“I don’t quite believe that,” you muttered, drawing your knees up towards your chest. “Something doesn’t smell right to me about all this.”

***

seaQuest tag list: @shrimpsthings​ @lathalea​