#because they said to give in to the demons

[amphibianauthor]

This! I was also very very lucky to have similar parenting circumstances. I was raised with parents who treated me as a mini-adult that could be explained choices. I will say one of the requirements for this type of parenting style is to understand that your child might be smarter than you in some areas or ask questions you feel like you should know and you don't. And you should be okay telling your child that you don't know something. That your own ego will be okay if you feel stupid.

Let me explain.

As a child, it was an established rule in my house that no questions are bad questions and my parents would ALWAYS answer questions as accurately (but age appropriate) as possible.* Questions were encouraged. If my parents couldn't answer a question right away they'd say something like "I'll answer once we finish x."

Questions were never a thing to be demonized in my house. Whenever I had questions/feelings, I always felt like I could go to my parents for advice or feedback without judgement. No matter the feelings we were allowed to question everything--from the rules they made, the reasoning behind said rules, why my parents were feeling a certain way, why grandparents might act specific ways, why I was being treated a certain way, I could question it and get an honest, truthful answer back. No passive aggressiveness ever either, No question was ever stupid in their eyes, genuinely. (There are too many teachers who say that exact quote and then give kids judgmental looks for asking things or being like 'well if you were paying attention to xyz')

Now, eventually your kid will ask you questions that might get under your skin or make you feel inferior because you feel like you don't know the answers. The trick is to be excited for them. That they are questioning the world and knowing things that interest them. (We don't get mad at a scientist for being smart in their expertise, those scientists were kids once!)

Like the other responses in this thread, by encouraging questions, I never felt like I was being interrogated when I made a bad choice (I personally didn't make many) because I could explain the reasoning behind it and talk about the reasoning why I chose that action, and what natural consequences might be waiting for me.

Another technique my parents employed was the voluntary 5 minute timeout. Anyone in my family at any moment when they felt upset or angry could announce that they needed a 5 minute break and then go get space to cool down.** (Yes even my parents did this at times, taking a 5 minute break) It was a respected thing, if you asked for space you got it. Sometimes the person would rejoin before the 5 minutes were up having cooled down, but after the 5 minutes people were allowed to check up on you and talk things through if things were wrong.

I can't tell you how useful it is to have an instant timeout button. It allows both parties the ability to recenter back to logic/reasoning if emotions run too high, and feel like you are never backed into a corner emotionally. You always have an out. You are praised/respected for understanding that your emotions might run high. Even with my anxiety I am not scared to ask for a break if I need it because it was modeled for me as a child.

Another one of my parents tricks: Using "I feel" statements. My mom pushed this especially, but the difference between 'you never do x!' (accusing, assuming things about the other person) and 'I feel like you never do x!' (communicating while showing your POV, gives the other person a chance to respond, overall less harsh) is a game changer. It focuses on empathizing with the person (letting them know your feelings and hopefully getting them to understand how you are seeing the world.)

*yes, all questions. I once asked my mom if 5 y/o me would have asked where baby's came from what she would tell me and she said she would literally did the 👉 👌 gesture with explanation of which sex had what body parts. I apparently never asked at that young though

**When I was really young, my parents would do the timeout thing as a 'hey, we see the rollercoaster of emotions is high, why don't you take a 5 minute break for space' and they would keep me in the same room but give me more space/or separate room with many checkups on me.

I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.

[prettealolilol]

I feel like as a reader and someone who grew up poor, Jason doesn't really pay attention to was he uses as a bookmark. Of course he has a handful of those, birthday and christmas presents, or simply gifts from when Bruce first found out the kid loved reading and wanted him to feel at home. And since the man is rich and emotionally constipated, he bought Jason really expensive bookmarks, like one made in China with a really detailed dragon carved into the wood, or another one embedded with little diamonds from France. Jason doesn't really understand, because a paper would be enough, you know ? There was only one bookmark Jason had truly felt overjoyed to have : one that belong to Jane Austen. Needless to say, Bruce had almost cried when Jason hugged him tight, smiling like he was trying to rival the sun. (When Jason died, Bruce framed the bookmark and put it in one of his desk drawers. When Jason came back, and they were on better terms, he went to his son place and put back the bookmark. When Jason came home, he found a birthday gift awfully wrapped up on his bed. If he cried while holding the bookmark, no one needed to know.)

Back to the point, Jason doesn't really care about what he uses, as long as he doesn't lose his page (although he almost gutted Tim when the boy folded the corner of his book. Instead he shook him like a puppet, telling him about how disrespectfull he was towards books and writers.).

---

Tim, pocking his head in the kitchen, where Alfred is busy cooking and Jason is reading : Has anyone seen my budget report ? I left it on the table in the library this morning, and I can't find it.

Jason, not looking up, shrugging : No one cares about your reports Timbers, no someone would have move it.

Tim leaves, sighing. Later, when Jason goes to close his book and reach for the paper he was using, he realises he was holding said report. Alfred raises an eyebrow. He must have taken it when he picked up the book in the library.

---

Damian, barging the cave, clearly annoyed : Todd !

Jason, repairing his bike : What, demon brat.

Damian : Tell me this instance if you have taken my sketchbook.

Jason, looking up : Why the fuck would I have your sketchbook gremlin ? Your dog is more likely to have run off with it.

Damian stomps back into the manor grumbling about Titus being more polite that Tood could ever be. Jason decides to ignore him. Later, when he's done with his bike and picks up his current book for some well deserved reading time, something falls with a thud when he opens it. Apparently he was the one with the sketchbook and used it as a bookmark. He didn't even realised. He'll have to find a way to give it back without the baby demon knowing.

---

Jason and Cass are sitting on the couch when he remembers he left his phone in his room and is expecting some informations. He looks around for something that could keep the book open, finding nothing.

Cass is staring at him, signing : Looking for something ?

Jason stares at her hand for a few seconds, before shrugging. He takes her left hand, the closest one and put it on his book : Don't move just a sec, i gotta go get something.

Cass stares at his back incredulously. When he comes back and take back his book, she just shakes her head, a fond smile on her lips.

---

Bruce, walking into the living room where the kids are playing : Does anyone have 20 bucks I can borrow ?

Jason, snorting : Aren't you, like, the richest man in the country ?

Bruce : I need to pick up something and they don't take card. There was an issue with the bank so no money can be withdrawn. I put a 20$ bill in the kitchen but I can't find it.

Dick, standing up, taking his wallet : I've got you. You owe me now though.

Bruce, slightly smiling : Sure chum.

When Jason get back to his place in the next morning and drops on his bed, he pulls out the book Tim had recommended a few days ago (although nobody can know he's reading it). A 20$ bill slips on his bed when he opens the book. He takes it, putting it his back pocket.

Jason, grinning : It's sad he didn't even try to find it. It would have so satisfying to watch the great Batman look for a bill hidden in a book.

---

Jason is helping Alfred bring the groceries to the kitchen, because no one in the godforsaken rich family should be trusted with food or anything to do with cooking.

Duke, shouting from the library : Why is there a dictionary open in the middle of the library ? On another book ?

Jason, who hadn't had the time to look for a proper bookmark : It's so I don't lose my page.

Duke, still shouting : Why a dictionary though ?

Jason ignores him. He doesn't have to explain himself.

---

Dick, at Jason's door : Hey little wing, have you seen my blue swe-

Jason, looking at his phone on his bed : What ?

Dick : You're the one who had it all this time. Seriously Jay, why don't you just ask- Why is there an open book underneath ?

Jason, shoting up : Don't touch that ! You're gonna make me lose my page.

Dick, blinking : Don't you have like thousand of bookmarks ?

Jason : Shut up.

---

When Stephanie breaks in Jason's apartment, he is grumbling about babysitting while bringing his med kit. She reaches his couch and suddenly she's laughing so hard she ends up wheezing on the floor. Jason doesn't understand why, until she stands back up slowly, taking her phone out to take a picture. Jason doesn't know if she's laughing at the book mark that is in fact a mug, or at the mug itself. It's clearly holding on for dear life, put down in between the pages, absolutly not stable. He then receives a text on the children Batman kidnapped 's groupchat, seeing a picture of a mug with Batman's signature bat symbol and the inscription 'this mug survives longer than Robins' (actually, Tim has a matching one with the inscription 'bats don't kill... coffee might', but no one needs to know that.).

[lovhrin]

𓇻   ॱ˖  FROM ME TO YOU park sunghoon mini smau

──ॱ˖ ❀ If there was one person yn would always remember, it would be park sunghoon, the only boy who was kind to her on her first day of school. to her, that small act of kindness meant everything. to him, it was probably just another ordinary day. or at least, that’s what she thought.

in which the most popular boy in school is tired of hiding his interest in the least popular girl in school.

❀ pairing : popular!sunghoon x quiet!femreader

❀ genre : school!au, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, smau, loosely based on kimi ni todoke

❀ taglist : closed! @tasnemluvs @honestlyatomicpanda @hhyvsstuff @skepvids @who-tf-soddhi @beigerin @tinyteezer @sasfransisco @giraffeass @velv3ts @seiamor @steddie-steddie @blvengene @starry-eyed-bimbo @ilovbeshotaro @river-demon-slayer @thinkinboutbin @starsunoo @nishimurarikisfinestan @i03jae @greentulip @naevis-hung-up @itsactuallylina @academiq @rikidaze @en-dream @rkivesfilm @kittyyy003 @haechology @univershoon @riribelle @jiiyen @elegancefr @daniellesyellowhands @sunooqvrlsx @justsvstuff @xeee334 @jungcatwonie @starbyeol1512 @right-person-wrong-time @kirakun @rairaiblog @miukidoll @unstableqi @wonuziex @yurisblooming @yyawnjun @pluggtalkk @mydearyeseo @yurisblooming @juyeoz

00. no boys allowed

soft, soothing music drifted through the café, wrapping the space in a sense of peace as the girls enjoyed their meal. the atmosphere was nothing short of serene just as expected. yn always had a way of finding the perfect spots, places that felt like a hidden sanctuary away from the world.

"yn, maybe try eating the food instead of just taking pictures of it," yizhuo teased, laughing at the way yn's face instantly turned red.

"sorry, they're just too cute," she said, finally taking a bite of her totoro cream puff and letting out a satisfied hum. "i need a good collage of photos before school starts, my photography teacher wants us to document our spring break and school starts tomorrow.”

"well, that shouldn't have been hard," yunah said, mouth full, completely ignoring yizhuo's scolding look before taking a sip from yn's drink. "you document everything, you probably haven't even realized how many photos you've taken over the brea—oh!" she suddenly cut herself off, a teasing glint in her eyes as she placed a hand over yn's. "speaking of school, have you thought about joining me for sports day?"

yn awkwardly glanced to the side, avoiding yunah's expectant gaze.

"oh, come on! i even got yiz to join my team," yunah pouted, giving yn her best pleading look.

"which is never happening again," yizhuo chimed in, taking a sip of her kiki themed latte. "i'm only going because you promised to buy me ramen for a month."

"come on, yn! i want both of my girls on my team," yunah whined, taking another sip from yn's drink, despite having her own.

"this is really good," she mused, making yn nod in agreement.

"i know, right?"

"but that's beside the point!" yunah quickly refocused, leaning in with wide, pleading eyes. "please?"

yn looked at her friend and sighed. she was never the sports type, she got tired too easily. she was more of an artsy girl, someone who kept to herself. plus, she had only transferred at the start of the year and still didn’t feel completely comfortable. but she couldn't ignore the fact that yunah and yizhuo had been nothing but kind to her since she moved. she felt like she owed them at least a little consideration.

"i'll think about it," she said at last, meeting yunah's hopeful gaze. "for real this time."

“promise?”

“promise.”

a comfortable silence settled between them, the only sounds being the occasional clink of utensils and the soft hum of café chatter. the girls stayed lost in their own worlds, scrolling through their phones and picking at their food, perfectly at ease in each other's company.

that was until yunah looked up, her eyes widening as she stared past yn and yizhuo toward the entrance.

"what the hell are they doing here?" she muttered.

yn and yizhuo turned to look over their shoulders. yizhuo immediately groaned.

"i thought this place was girls only?" she joked, rolling her eyes.

but yn barely heard her. her focus was locked on the boy who walked in last, trailing behind the others.

sunghoon.

last . masterlist . next

──ॱ˖ ❀ finally starting!!

[fandoms-x-reader]

Apologize

Requested Anonymously

Headcannons

Summary: The brothers say something too harsh to MC so MC refuses to talk to them or interact with them. The Seven Demon Brothers x Reader Word Count: 8,242

It wasn’t unusual for Lucifer to get snappy with others.

He was constantly overworked and over exhausted and his brothers liked to cause as much trouble for him as possible.

But, no matter how tired he was, Lucifer always did his best to keep his composure around you.

He had been working really hard on a specific project for Lord Diavolo recently and you could see how tired he was.

You made frequent trips to his study, bringing him his favorite drink and massaging his shoulders whenever you could to try to help.

But, now Lucifer was barely able to keep his eyes open anymore and you couldn’t stand to see him like this.

You carefully approached him and gently rubbed his arm, taking a seat next to him. He didn’t even look up from his papers.

“Lucifer, I think you should take a break,” you told him honestly.

“I don’t have time for that Y/N,” he replied, continuing to work.

“At least for a little bit? A break would do you some good,” you tried again, and he let out an irritated sigh.

“I already told you, I don’t have time for that,” he reiterated, more annoyed this time. 

But, you were really worried about him, so you didn’t want to give up so easily.

“Lucifer,” you began again and he slammed his hand down on his desk making you let out a small gasp.

“What I’m doing is important and I need to concentrate, so if you’re just going to keep pestering me then just leave because, at this point, all you are is a nuisance,” he stated coldly.

You looked at him for a moment, feeling the sting of his words but not knowing how to react. He didn’t even care enough to see that his words had hurt you.

“Fine,” you muttered before getting up and leaving his study.

 Lucifer was really in the thick of it with work so he didn’t even realize the words that he had said and how they must have hurt you until later.

He was still in his study and he sat back in his chair, rolling shoulders as he let out a small groan of pain. They were sore from spending so much time in the same position. Usually, you would try and massage them to help prevent them from getting to this point.

He then looked down at his teacup and noticed that it was completely empty and had been for a while. But, you always made sure to bring him his favorite drink so that he could continue to work.

That’s when Lucifer began thinking back to the last time he saw you enter his study and what happened the last time. 

He let out a deep sigh as he replayed the words he had said to you in his head. Surely, you knew that he didn’t mean them, right? He loved you and you had to know that.

He wanted nothing more than to go and apologize to you but he had to keep working. It was his responsibility.

Meanwhile, you avoided Lucifer’s study at all costs. You were just trying to help Lucifer and if he couldn’t see that then you didn’t have anything else to say to him.

Lucifer only lasted one day without seeing you when he started to grow concerned. He tried sending you a couple of text messages, not wanting to leave his study, but he was met with crickets and he couldn’t stand it any longer.

He had reached a point in the project where, perhaps, he could take a small break and he immediately went to your bedroom, knocking on your door.

There was no answer and while he was tempted to break it down to make sure you weren’t in there ignoring him, he kept his composure.

You had just come back from the kitchen, a drink in hand when you saw Lucifer standing in front of your bedroom door.

You stopped in your tracks as the two of you made eye contact and you took in his appearance.

He looked even more miserable than he did the last time you saw him.

Neither of you said anything for a few moments, just staring at each other.

After another moment, you spun on your heels, trying to retreat back to the kitchen.

Lucifer was in front of you in an instant, inches away from you and the close proximity itself was enough to start revitalizing him.

“Are you avoiding me?” he asked, his deep voice wanting to make you swoon after not hearing it for an entire day. But, you stood your ground.

“Why shouldn’t I be? Since I’m just a nuisance to you and all,” you replied, your eyes filled with noticeable seriousness and hurt.

It took a lot to make Lucifer falter, but when you threw his words to you back at him, he nearly winced as if you slapped him.

He took a step closer to you before telling you, “You know that I don’t really think that.”

You let out a small sigh as you looked down to the ground and Lucifer realized that maybe he had really messed up this time. Maybe you really didn’t know how he truly felt about you. 

He gently raised your chin with one of his gloved hands so that you were looking at him before gently pressing his lips on yours in an intimate kiss.

When he pulled away, his eyes locked with you as he told you, “You could never be a nuisance to me, because I love you.”

And those were the words you were waiting to hear - the ones that always made you swoon even if you were mad at him.

“Please, come back and join me in my study,” he asked, his hand dropping down to interlace his fingers with yours.

Under his intense gaze, you couldn’t help but feel your resolve cracking as you allowed him to lead you to his study.

Once there, you told Lucifer, “You still have some making up to do.” Lucifer smirked slightly at your words before sitting down on his chair and pulling you into his lap.

You nearly spilled your drink at his actions and his smirk only grew. “I still have some work to do, but this way, I can pay attention to you as well,” he told you, one arm wrapping around you to keep you in place while the other continued to write on the document in front of him.

You opened your mouth to reply, but Lucifer continued to speak before you could, his lips inches from your ear as he told you, “Then, when I’m done with this, you can have my full attention.”

Mammon had just completed a long photoshoot for a magazine that wanted him to be his model.

It was a lot of work, but the paycheck was worth it and he already knew what he wanted to do with it. Take you on a date!

Mammon was so excited to take you out that you couldn’t help but say yes.

He was always in a good mood whenever he came into money, no matter how that may be, but it was even better when he got to spend time with you because of it.

He had a whole plan to take you to a traveling carnival that was passing through the Devildom and the two of you left almost immediately.

The carnival was a lot bigger than you were expecting, filled with rides, food stalls, thrill acts and so much more.

You had been enjoying your time with Mammon there and it was one of the rare times that you got to see him drop his act and just be himself around you without the worry of one of his brothers being around.

He was even holding your hand the entire time, a small blush coating his cheeks as he tried to play the action off like it was no big deal.

After going on one of the more thrilling rides, the two of you decided to take a break and you sat down on a nearby bench as you watched one of the acts that was performing.

Your head rested against Mammon’s shoulder and this thumb traced circles on the back of your hand.

Suddenly, a random demon appeared sitting right next to Mammon and looking at the two of you. 

You raised your head to pay attention, confused as to what he wanted and the demon leaned in closer, talking in a quiet voice. Mammon was about to tell him to get lost when the demon spoke. 

“You’re Mammon, the Avatar of Greed, right?” the demon asked with hope in his eyes.

You and Mammon shared a look, questioning how this demon knew Mammon and that was all the confirmation he needed.

“I knew it!” he said with a smile before adding, “Please, sir, follow me and I’ll lead you to the undercover casino.”

Mammon’s eyes widened at his words. “Undercover casino?” Mammon asked. He didn’t know there would be one at this carnival.

“Yes, you’re one of our best patrons. If you come with me, we can treat you to the full service,” the demon replied and you could practically see Mammon’s eyes light up with gold.

“Mammon, I don’t think we should-,” you tried to say but you were cut off by him jumping up, a large smile on his face.

“Lead the way!” Mammon said and the demon lit up as he began showing the two of you the way.

“Mammon, I think this is a bad idea,” you told him and he gave your hand a small squeeze.

“Don’t worry! We’ll only stay for a few minutes,” he replied, and you let out a small sigh. It was never a few minutes.

And you were right, just like you knew you would be. The two of you were there for at least an hour as Mammon’s train of thought was completely taken over by his greed.

“I’m sorry, sir, but if you want to keep playing, you’ll have to put up more money,” the dealer stated and Mammon searched his wallet for more. Empty. 

“Y/N, loan me some money, will ya’?” Mammon asked and you could feel yourself start to get annoyed. 

“Mammon, you already lost all of the money you earned from that job. Let’s just call it a night,” you tried to reason with him, but his lips turned into a frown.

“C’mon, don’t be such a killjoy. I’m gonna win big this time, I know it!” Mammon tried to convince you, but you were done with the casino.

“Mammon, we should go home,” you stated more firmly.

“I spent the whole night doin’ what you wanted, so the least you could do is spend some time doin’ what I want!” Mammon argued.

His words cut you, but you tried to gain control of the situation. “Mammon-,” you tried once again but he cut you off with a loud groan of frustration.

“If I wanted someone to ruin my fun then I would have taken Lucifer,” Mammon stated before muttering, “Jeez, I don’t even know why I took ya’ out in the first place.”

Your heart dropped at his words as you felt tears sting your eyes, but you wouldn’t let him see them fall. Fine.

You searched through your things to find your money and handed it to Mammon who had a large smile on his face at the sight of it. “Bet as much as you want. I’m going home,” you stated before walking away and back to the House of Lamentation.

Just as you knew, once again, Mammon lost all of the money you had given him and now he had nothing left.

He looked around the casino for you and when he couldn’t find you, he started calling you and texting you. Did you really leave?

As the money-hungry fog started to lift from his mind, Mammon was able to start thinking clearly and he realized just how badly he had messed up. 

He continued to try to call you as he made his way back to the House of Lamentation, but you refused to answer his calls.

When he got to the house, he immediately went to your room and knocked on your bedroom door, but he was met with more silence.

He tried to get you to open the door the entire night but when he realized you weren’t going to, he sulked back to his room. How was he supposed to fix this if you wouldn’t talk to him?

Your silent treatment continued for the next few days. You wouldn’t talk to him at RAD and you would lock him out of your room before he had a chance to talk to you back at the House of Lamentation.

Mammon was growing more and more depressed about it too. He wasn’t sleeping, he was barely eating, and he felt like there was nothing he could do about it.

You had purposefully been only leaving your room at times when you thought Mammon would be out of the house or asleep.

It was too painful to see after the things he said to you when you were just trying to keep him from getting further into debt.

It was a little after midnight when you decided to go to the kitchen to get some food. You managed to make it to the fridge with no problem, but right as you grabbed the item you wanted, Mammon suddenly entered.

The two of you looked at each other in shock, neither one of you expecting the other to be there.

You wanted nothing more than to go back to your room, but he was blocking the exit.

“Uh…hi,” Mammon said, looking down at the ground. He was nervous and under any other circumstance, you would feel a little bad for him.

He didn’t say anything else, so you decided to try to push past him to get back to your room.

But as you passed him, Mammon gently grabbed your arm. “Wait,” he said, finally bringing himself to look at you and you paused to listen to what he had to say.

He was bad at speeches so he said the first thing that came to his mind. “I miss ya’.”

And his puppy dog eyes and those words that sounded so sad were enough to almost make you cave. Almost.

Mammon could tell it wasn’t enough so he continued to say, “I’m sorry about what I said. You’re the only one I want to go out with and I don’t know why ya’ even agreed to go out with me,” he told you honestly and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, shattering the walls that you had put up.

You gently reached up and cupped his cheek with one of your hands and he immediately leaned into your touch. 

You pulled away after a moment and began walking to your room, leaving a very confused Mammon standing there.

You turned back to face him when you realized he wasn’t following you and you motioned towards your room before asking, “Are you coming?”

He got a big smile at your words and he nodded his head, letting you lead him to your room.

As soon as you shut the door, Mammon engulfed you in his arms, pulling you onto the bed and refusing to let go.

You let yourself melt in his embrace before telling him, “No more gambling on dates.”

He gently pressed his lips to yours before replying, “Promise.”

There were a few things that Levi was uptight about and those things usually had something to do with either his anime, manga, or videogames.

Other than those things, Levi was usually pretty nonchalant. He didn’t care what others did or didn’t do and he didn’t complain if they didn’t spend time with him.

He just usually did his own thing and you admired him for that.

It didn’t take long for you and Levi to start hanging out, common interests bringing the two of you together.

And Levi soon found that he was going against all of his beliefs as a shut-in. He was starting to actually care about what others did. Well, about what one person did in particular.

Things that Levi used to love to do by himself didn’t seem as fun when you weren’t around, so he tried to invite you over as much as he possibly could.

You didn’t mind at all because Levi usually invited you to do something you liked doing anyway.

Levi never had someone that liked the same things he liked as much as you did, which is probably what added to his infatuation of spending time with you.

And it was like a secret that only the two of you shared, or a language that only the two of you knew how to speak.

Or, that’s how Levi thought of it until he caught you and Solomon talking at RAD.

You had mentioned one of your and Levi’s favorite games to Solomon and he had, surprisingly, known about it.

So the two of you started talking about all your favorite characters and mechanics of the game. 

In your defense, it was a completely innocent conversation between friends, but Levi didn’t see it that way.

What he saw is the way you smiled at Solomon as he spoke, in a way that Levi only wanted you to look at him.

And what he heard was the way you sweetly laughed at Solomon’s jokes, with a laugh that was supposed to be reserved for his ears.

And then, you invited Solomon to come over to the House of Lamentation and play the game with you and Levi.

His sin had taken over him faster than he could process what was happening and he stood in between you and Solomon in his demon form, a very unhappy look on his place.

“Levi? Are you okay?” you asked him, worried when you saw the form he was in.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked you, sending a glance to Solomon.

“We were just talking,” you replied, confused as to what he was getting at.

“You invited him to play our game!” Levi snapped back and you and Solomon shared a look as you realized why he might be upset.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” you replied honestly. Solomon and Levi were friends and Solomon had come over lots of time to play games with Levi, so why should this time be any different?

But your words seemed to only set Levi off more as his insecurities got the better of him.

“Well, it might not seem like a big deal to you but it’s a big deal to me,” he replied and you could hear the hurt in his voice. The conversation was spiraling and you didn’t know how to stop it.

“Levi, I didn’t mean anything by that,” you tried to reason but he was too far in his head down.

“This is what I get I guess,” he stated and you looked at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned. 

“It means I never should have tried to be friends with some lame normie who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves,” Levi snapped back and this time it was your turn to be hurt.

“Let’s all calm down,” Solomon interjected, trying to de-escalate the situation and Levi’s demon form caught the attention of Lucifer. Levi knew furthering the fight would only get him involved, so he backed down.

“Whatever,” Levi muttered before walking away and Solomon turned to you. 

“Are you okay?” Solomon asked you and you replied with a short, “I’m fine.”

You went back to the House of Lamentation with the full intention of avoiding Levi and giving him the silent treatment, which was all too easy to do because he didn’t leave his room after the fight.

You were both getting more and more miserable as you spent time apart, but Levi was upset because he thought you liked Solomon and you were upset because of what he said to you so neither of you were ready to apologize.

After about a week of the two of you not speaking, it was starting to affect everyone else as well.

Solomon decided to do something about it since he was technically involved.

He came to Levi’s room, fully expecting Levi to not answer the door; but, he had.

Truth be told, Levi had only opened it in the hopes that you would be on the other side but he was largely disappointed when he saw Solomon standing there.

“What are you doing here?” Levi asked and Solomon gave him an innocent smile.

“I was hoping to talk to you for a moment,” Solomon replied. 

“About what?” Levi asked and Solomon’s expression turned to a serious one.

“About Y/N,” he replied and at the mention of your name, a blush rose to Levi’s cheeks.

“I don’t want to talk about them,” Levi replied, attempting to shut the door to his room but Solomon stopped him.

“Please, just listen,” Solomon said and Levi, having no choice, let him continue.

“The only reason that Y/N and I were talking about the game was because they were telling me how much they’ve been enjoying playing it with you,” Solomon told Levi. 

“So?” Levi asked and Solomon wanted to roll his eyes at the oblivious demon.

“They were telling me about how much they’ve been enjoying spending time with you,” Solomon tried to further clarify.

Something clicked in Levi’s mind this time and his cheeks burned a furious red as he understood what Solomon was trying to say. 

He quickly slammed the door on Solomon’s face to process the new information on his own and then he felt like a total idiot for snapping at you.

It only took him a few more minutes to show up at your door, nervously knocking on it. 

You opened it a few moments later and Levi saw his own miserableness reflected on you. 

“I…I know I messed everything up a-and you’ll probably never forgive me. But, I wanted to say I’m sorry and ask if you wanted to play some games,” Levi said practically in one breath before he could chicken out of it. 

He held your favorite game in his hands along with some snacks, hoping that you would let him in.

“Why would you want to spend time with a lame normie like me?” you asked and Levi winced at your words. He deserved that.

He let out a defeated sigh, casting his gaze down at the floor before telling you, “Because I don’t think you're lame. You’re the most amazing person I know. But, if you don’t want to play that’s fine, I’ll just leave you alone.”

His dejected look pulled at your heartstrings and you couldn’t help but stop him by gently grabbing his arms.

He looked back at you with hopeful eyes and you told him, “Maybe we can play for a little bit.”

Levi immediately rushed into your room, a bright smile on his face that was contagious as he set everything up.

This was only the beginning of his apology and he was going to make sure he made up for what he said.

And maybe, just maybe, along with an apology he could also confess his feelings for you.

Out of all the demon brothers, Satan was the best at holding a grudge.

After all, he had been holding once against Lucifer for his entire life. 

Satan was a classy demon but he was equally stubborn and if he didn’t want to back down from a fight, there was no making him do so.

So, when the two of you got into a fight, you knew that it was going to be one with lasting consequences.

Satan had invited you on a day trip that involved a long train ride both to and from the destination. 

He didn’t want you to be bored so he offered to lend you one of his books.

Everything was going so perfectly and it was a very romantic outing filled with sweet nothings and intimate moments.

But, then the time to go back home came and that’s when it all started falling apart.

You were frantically trying to search your bag for the book that Satan had lent you while you waited for the train to arrive, but you couldn’t find it anywhere.

 Satan noticed your frantic movements beside him and he raised an eyebrow as he looked at you. 

“What are you looking for?” he asked you as you continued to search.

“Your book,” you replied, and the content expression that was on his face moments before dropped as he felt a flicker of anger inside of him.

“The book I let you borrow?” Satan asked as you closed your bag with a frustrated sigh.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Satan, I must have left it on the train when we got off it,” you told him, a contrite expression on your face. You felt awful.

“How could you be so careless?” Satan asked and you were taken aback by his words.

“I didn’t mean to,” you argued but Satan’s wrath was only growing further and once he went down this road, it was almost impossible to stop.

“That was one of my favorite books! I only let you borrow it as a gesture of kindness,” he stated.

“Satan, I told you I was sorry. I’ll buy you another copy when we get back,” you responded.

“It won’t be the same,” he snapped back, refusing to look at you now.

“I think you’re overreacting,” you replied and you knew those words were a mistake because if he wasn’t angry before, that definitely set him off.

The two of you engaged in a very heated exchange as others looked on and the only thing that stopped you was the arrival of the train.

You and Satan refused to talk to each other the whole way back and you sat in anger and embarrassment for causing such a big scene.

You immediately went to your separate rooms as soon as you got back to the House of Lamentation and you were left to wonder how such a simple thing could ruin not only the way back but the entire trip when the two of you had been so happy together moments before that.

Satan could admit to himself that he may have overreacted a bit, but admitting it to you was a completely different story. And, you believed that you already apologized so what else was there to say?

Which left the two of you at an impasse. You wouldn’t speak to each other or even look at each other despite the ache you had for each other.

The others had heard about what happened and tried to get the two of you to talk. After all, they all agreed that you were fighting over something trivial, but neither you nor Satan gave in.

It wasn’t until the two of you got stuck in a situation a couple of weeks later that he realized how stupid the argument was.

Satan was reading in the library at the House of Lamentation and you walked in to grab your own book, not expecting him to be there.

As soon as you saw him, you averted your gaze, focusing on finding the book you were looking for.

Satan kept occasionally glancing at you while you searched, but he didn’t say anything.

Finally, you found the book you were looking for, but it was in a stack of books on top of one of the bookshelves.

You were struggling to reach it and could use some help. Specifically from a demon who was already there.

Satan kept his eyes on his book, a smug smile threatening to form as he knew you needed help and would have to talk to him to ask him for it.

But, you refused to give him the satisfaction, so you tried to grasp it yourself, causing them all to tumble.

You let out a gasp of pain as they fell on top of you, one of the larger ones hitting you in the head and knocking you out.

Satan was on his feet the instant he saw what happened and he quickly approached you with worry in his eyes.

You had a small cut on your forehead that was bleeding and when he saw that you were knocked out, the guilt instantly flooded him. He should’ve just helped you.

He carried you to his bedroom and treated the small cut on your forehead before sitting next to you, watching you sleep.

He wouldn’t be able to rest until he knew for a fact that you were okay.

A little while later, you began to stir and when you fluttered your eyes open, you were met with concerned, green ones.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you immediately and you slowly began to remember what happened. 

“My head hurts,” you admitted and he nodded his head, handing you some pain medicine.

You took it gratefully and as it fell silent, you realized Satan had just talked to you.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him again. He must have known what you were thinking because he let out a small sigh before climbing into the bed with you and pulling you into him.

You moved your head back just a bit so that you could look at him.

“I’m sorry for overreacting and for calling you careless,” he told you as he lovingly looked into your eyes, gently brushing some of your hair out of your face before leaving his fingers tangled in it.

“I’m sorry for losing your book,” you replied, savoring every moment of the touch you had craved.

“I can always get another copy,” he reassured you, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead before telling you, “You’re what I’m afraid of losing more than anything. I can’t ever get another copy of you and I wouldn’t want it.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his lips before replying, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Satan smiled at you before pulling you onto his chest so that he could hold you.  

Asmo was quick and witty when he wanted to be.

His greatest fighting tactic was his words and everyone knew that.

He could be mean to those who deserved it - but you would never deserve it.

You would never be on the opposite end of Asmo’s repartee because he simply loved you too much.

So, when Asmo said something to you that had crossed the line, he didn’t even realize it until after he said the words.

You had been having a particularly rough day and you sought Asmo out for some comfort.

He immediately suggested that the two of you have a spa day. It was the perfect way to relax!

Of course, Asmo was already fully prepared for a last-minute spa day.

He told you to just sit back and relax while he got everything ready. He knew that you would need extra pampering that day so he wanted to give you the full treatment.

And Asmo was the best at pampering you - but because of the rough day you had, you were on edge.

While doing different things, Asmo would make small comments about how you could improve certain aspects of your hair and skin routine.

Things like - your hair feels a little dry, you should try using a better conditioner. Or, your skin’s starting to look wrinkly, you need to start a better skincare routine.

To him, these comments were all coming from a place of love. He was just trying to give you advice since he had tried almost every beauty product known to the world.

But with you already being frustrated, the comments started to sound more like nagging; and, they began making you feel a bit self-conscious.

Wanting to avoid an argument, you suggested stopping the spa for now, but when Asmo kept pressing you for the reason, you snapped slightly. 

The small argument quickly blew up into a bigger one and Asmo resorted to using his quick wit as a defense mechanism.

By the end of it, you had both said things you didn’t mean and you had left his room quickly, seeking solidarity in your own.

Asmo was the biggest attention seeker in the entire house, so he doesn’t take being ignored or avoided by anyone very well.

But he especially doesn’t take it well when it’s coming from you - the person he loves the most.

The day after the two of you fought, he expected you to be mad, but he had already prepared an apology for that.

The thing about Asmo is that he’s not afraid to apologize for something he did if he feels like he was in the wrong, unlike some of the other brothers.

Besides, the sooner he apologized, the sooner the two of you could make up. And that was his favorite part of any argument.

But, with you not speaking to him and avoiding him at all costs, how was he supposed to apologize?

Asmo only lasted one day of you ignoring him before he was at your door, tears in his eyes begging you to talk to him.

He was very dramatic with his begging, but with how dramatic Asmo usually was, it was par for the course.

If you let him in, he’ll immediately hug you, his arms wrapping around you tightly while he rests his head in the crook of your neck, crying as he apologizes as many times as it takes for you to forgive him.

He didn’t mean to say those things - he would never hurt you on purpose. It was just in the heat of the moment. He’s a very passionate guy after all.

Those are things he’ll tell you, his lips brushing against your skin as he says it, his hands sliding down just a little past what would be considered proper.

All things he knew would chip away at your walls.

He knew everything about you, especially when it came to things you liked. Things that made you cave no matter the situation.

Your resolve was shaky now and Asmo knew it, gently placing kisses on your neck and you subconsciously leaned into his touch, ever so slightly exposing more of your skin to him.

“Asmo,” you warned as he continued his kisses. You wanted to be mad at him, and you wanted to sound mad. But, your walls were crumbling under his touch and when his name left your lips, it was filled with love instead of anger.

A hint of a smile formed on his lips as he heard his name and he looked into your eyes, his eyes drawing you in even more.

“You’ll forgive me, won’t you Y/N?” he asked innocently - far too innocently for the thoughts currently running through his mind.

His lips were inches from yours and you let out a small sigh before closing the gap between the two of you, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to resist him. 

You supposed you could let him off with a warning this time. After all, you were the one who snapped first.

Asmo wouldn’t hold it against you though. All that mattered was that the two of you made up.

Beel was absolutely panicking when he realized that you weren’t speaking to him and were avoiding him at all costs.

Mostly because he had no idea what he had done wrong and since you weren’t talking to him, he couldn’t even ask you.

It must have been something bad given the silent treatment. But, he couldn’t even think of something small he might have done - let alone something big enough for you to give him the silent treatment.

He thought about the last time the two of you interacted.

You were in his room with him, and he had pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

Your head was pressed against his chest as he held you close, a peaceful smile resting on his face.

He felt content and slowly but surely drifted off. 

The next thing he knew, you had moved off him in a rush, exiting his bedroom before he could get a word out and you had been avoiding him ever since.

But, you had a very different recollection of what had happened.

You were cuddling against Beel as previously stated, and you were feeling content as well. Everything just felt right when you were in his arms.

But, only a few minutes into cuddling Beel told you, “I don’t know why we’re still doing this.”

Your eyes immediately snapped open as you tried to process what Beel had just said.

“What?” you asked softly.

His hand was tangled in your hair, holding your head in place, so you couldn’t look up at him to see if he was being serious or not.

“I think this pointless,” he murmured again and your heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t really mean that, right?

“Beel,” you tried to say, but you were cut off by him continuing to speak.

“I think you should go,” he added and you decided to listen to him, pushing yourself off of him and going to your room, locking the door.

You hated that he could hold you so lovingly while he simultaneously broke up with you.

Seeing him was painful so you avoided him at all costs and you didn’t want to hear any excuse he might have so you refused to speak to him.

Beel had been doing everything he could to get your attention, but he failed at every attempt.

The lack of your presence had taken a toll on him. He had been feeling sad and lonely and he missed you more than anything.

Not to mention, he had seen you looking upset and he wanted to know what happened. He wanted to know why you were sad because he hated seeing it.

He would do anything to make you happy, he just wished you would let him help. Whatever it was - he could fix it.

He only lasted a couple of weeks without you before he decided he had to do something.

So one day when you had just gotten home from RAD, he picked you up and carried you to his room, shutting the door and blocking it with his body, despite your many protests.

He knew that his strength overpowered yours so you wouldn’t be able to push past him.

You could use the pact against him to get him to move, but he was hoping you wouldn’t resort to that - he just wanted to talk.

When you realized that Beel had you trapped you let out a sigh, sitting down on his bed. You couldn’t avoid him forever.

“What do you want, Beel?” you asked him, looking anywhere but him. And the way you said his name angrily instead of the affectionate way you used to say it hurt.

But just hearing your voice, even if you sounded mad, was like a breath of fresh air.

He moved closer to you, his big puppy dog eyes, staring at you with so much love as he tried to figure out what to say.

“You seem sad,” he told you, carefully sitting down on the bed next to you and you let out a scoff.

“Of course I’m sad,” you replied and he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you.

“Why?” he asked innocently and you looked at him incredulously.

When he saw the look you were giving him, he asked, “Did I do something? Is that why you won’t talk to me?”

And now your eyebrows furrowed in confusion because he wasn’t making any sense.

“You broke up with me,” you stated simply and his eyes widened as he stared at you in disbelief. He would never.

Seeing the look of confusion on his face, you decided to recount the details of that day, telling him everything he said to you.

And his expression went from one of confusion to understanding as he realized what had happened.

Beel had a dream after he fell asleep cuddling you. The usual suspect - Mammon - was trying to get Beel to do something he didn’t want to do. He remembered saying all of those things to his brother in his dream - but he didn’t have any recollection of saying them out loud.

“What?” you asked as he finished talking. He was asleep?! 

A small blush coated your cheeks as you realized that you never looked at him. He kept you in place at first and then you were so upset that you walked out without sparing another glance towards him.

Beel pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you the same way he did that day, holding you close to him.

“I love you so much. I would never break up with you,” he told you quietly, hoping that you would accept what he was saying as the truth.

You immediately melted into his touch as you realized it was all a big misunderstanding and your skin felt hot wherever his met yours.

Beel let out a deep breath of relief when you began to relax and he was determined to never let you go again.

The last couple of weeks had been hard on both of you and if nothing else, it was only proof as to how much you loved each other.

He just hoped that his dreams never interfered with your relationship again.

Like Satan, Belphie is one of the most stubborn when it comes to apologizing or admitting he was wrong about something.

He handles issues with the silent treatment in the hopes that they’ll either resolve themselves or simply go away.

He’s never been one for taking the initiative and he’s even less motivated to do so when it comes to an argument.

The two of you had been bickering more than usual thanks to the eldest brother.

Belphie had been slacking off a little too much at RAD in favor of napping and it was starting to affect Lucifer.

He had tried to ask Beel to help his twin brother keep up with his studies, but there was only so much that he could do.

If Belphie didn’t want to do something, then, simply put, he wasn’t going to do it - no matter who Lucifer sicced on him.

But, still, Lucifer asked you to try since you had a bond that was both very different yet equally as important as Beel’s bond to Belphie.

You didn’t want to do it - plain and simple. You knew that it would put you in a hard place with Belphie.

But, as the human exchange student, you couldn’t help but feel like part of your responsibility was to help the demon brothers.

And whether Belphie believed it or not, you were just trying to help him. You knew that if he didn’t get caught up with his studies, the punishment from Lucifer would be much worse than your nagging.

But, after a few days' worth of you waking Belphie up to beg him to do his homework, both of you were getting fed up with it.

Belphie kept complaining about how you sounded like Lucifer and you kept telling him he was acting like a brat.

It didn’t get much further than that though until one night when Belphie decided to be particularly stubborn.

You came into his room just like you had been doing, but it didn’t matter what you did, Belphie refused to get up.

You tried to reason with him, you tried to remind him of what Lucifer would do if he didn’t get up, you even tried to bribe him, but nothing worked.

You sat next to the bed for a while as you tried to figure out your last step, and then an idea popped into your head.

You hated it because you knew that Belphie would hate it, but he left you no choice.

After preparing yourself and running through your plan multiple times, you got up and looked at Belphie who was sleeping peacefully.

You let out a small sigh before leaning closer and grabbing his favorite pillow that he was lying on as well as his favorite blanket.

In an instant, you had snatched them and ran off with them, seeking refuge in your room.

You had barely gotten your door locked when you heard Belphie trying to get into your room.

“Y/N, open the door,” Belphie said, as calmly as he could, but he was already mad.

“You need to do your homework, Belphie,” you replied.

“Just give me my blanket and pillow back,” he responded.

“After you finish your homework,” you reiterated, internally sighing at the situation. You didn’t want to act like his parent and you silently cursed Lucifer for asking you to do this in the first place.

“Ugh, you’re being so annoying!” Belphie snapped, but you were expecting some backlash about this situation.

“You’ll be thanking me later when you don’t have to deal with Lucifer,” you stated and you heard him let out another frustrated sigh.

“This is exactly why I hate humans,” Belphie stated, more to himself than anything, but you heard it loud and clear.

His eyes widened slightly when you opened the door to your bedroom, a look of hurt on your face.

He opened his mouth to take it back but he was cut off by you roughly shoving the blanket and pillow into him before slamming the door in his face and locking it again.

Belphie knew that he went too far so he decided to give you some time to cool off.

The next time he saw you he promised himself he would make it up to you.

But when he saw you next, you refused to look at Belphie, let alone talk to him. And that made Belpie annoyed all over again.

“You’re being childish,” he told you, only furthering your anger towards him.

“Says the one who can’t even be responsible and do their homework without someone breathing down their neck!” you snapped back.

The two of you didn’t talk after that for a long time - too long in the brothers’ opinions.

They knew that you and Belphie were too stubborn to talk to each other on your accord, so they decided to take things into their own hands.

You were sitting on your bed reading when suddenly the door to your bedroom burst open.

You looked up to see Belphie being shoved inside against his will by Beel before he shut the door, making sure to stand guard so Belphie couldn’t leave.

Belphie had a small pout on his face that, despite still being mad at him, you thought looked adorable.

He let out a small sigh, avoiding all eye contact as he did his best to come up with a way to get out of this situation.

The two of you sat in silence for a while, but you both knew it was pointless. Neither of you were leaving until you talked to each other.

Belphie was the master at winning arguments, but just this once, he asked himself what the point of it was. He cared about you way more than winning the argument.

“You know I don’t hate you,” he said quietly, still keeping his eyes anywhere but on you as he spoke.

Your eyes immediately went to him. Was that his version of an apology?

“I was only trying to help you, Belphie,” you explained and he gave you a defeated look.

“I know,” he replied. That’s why this whole argument is pointless.

Belphie moved over to your bed now and sat down next to you, the two of you making eye contact for the first time in what felt like forever.

“I caught up on all my studies,” he added and you let out a breath of relief. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore.

You were the first to reach out, gently taking his hand in yours. You stared at your intertwined fingers before softly saying, “I missed you.”

His eyes widened slightly as he took in the sight of you, all feelings of the fight disappearing. He was just happy to be in your presence again.

Belphie moved quickly, wrapping you up in his arms and pulling you down into the bed.

“Bel-!” you shouted in surprise but you were cut off by him placing a finger to your lips.

You were laying chest to chest, his face only inches from yours, his arms keeping you there.

“If they hear us talking, they’ll come in; and, I’d rather not be interrupted for a while,” Belphie told you with a sly smirk before placing his lips on yours.

You immediately returned the kiss, a smile forming at the feeling.

No matter what you or Belphie said in the heat of the moment, you knew that your love for each other would never change.

[shortviking]

Speaking as someone who has severe adrenal insufficiency (base cortisol <1) and takes hydrocortisone, I would like to really emphasize the severity of low cortisol in my reblog. Not to say that high cortisol isn't life-threatening either, but a lot of people are not aware of the sheer danger the lack of the hormone truly causes.

I'd describe chronically low cortisol as sort of a full-body shut-down. You stop being able to eat, leading to wasting away (which, by the way, if you don't get the issue properly diagnosed or if the treatment doesn't increase your appetite, which are both things that happened to me, the methods used to keep you alive are cruel and scary). Trying to eat feels like torturing yourself.

Everything hurts. Your muscles. Your bones. Your head. When I was 20 I stopped walking for nearly a month due the debilitating flank pain. I'm not sure if it was only AI at play here, but this type of pain is noted to be common in lowered cortisol, and diminished significantly when I finally got settled on hydrocortisone. Your GI system is also on fire. As I said, you are fucking hungry, and throw up even if the only thing you consumed is those drinks from the pharmacy for people who have trouble eating, that are maybe 1/15 of your daily intake.

Since it's known as a "stress hormone", the layman interpretation would be that a cushing's sufferer is "stressed" and an AI sufferer is "calm". That just isn't true. In reality it's associated with many psychiatric and neurological disorders, mainly depression, but also anxiety, sleep disturbances, severe sleepiness and fatigue, and even psychosis. Before I got diagnosed I was thought of as extremely mentally ill and took almost every antidepressant on the market. When the doctors finally listened to me I got put in neurology to rule out conditions like MS or a brain tumor because at this point the fatigue, weakness, headaches, neuropathic pain, and brain sensations I couldn't even begin to describe (like fog but very very bad) were getting unbearable.

The reason we know it as the "stress hormone" is because it's heightened during situations that are stressful on the body, so while, yes, this means high cortisol is present with stress, it also means that if your body doesn't produce the hormone, it can't cope with simple colds, for example, and the AI patient is advised to updose whenever necessary. Of course, it's contentious what situations should be considered "stressful enough" to give your body extra cortisol that would have most likely been there naturally. I've heard of a myriad of stories from people suffering because their bodies were signaling low cortisol but doctors advised against updosing.

The combination of all those factors makes the condition very lethal, either from malnutrition (less common nowadays), or an adrenal crisis, which manifests in extreme pain and fever, and needs to be treated urgently with high doses of HC. There have even been cases of people going into crisis after less than a week of not taking corticosteroids.

So let's stop demonizing cortisol, please. The puffy face I got from treatment is nothing compared to how I looked, and more importantly FELT before it.

you guys know that cortisol and adrenalin arent "toxins" right. and that chronically low cortisol is as much of a problem as chronically high cortisol. I just thought I would mention it because the advertising trends RN are even stupider than usual and it's really bothering me. like all hormones the correct amount to have is "enough" and anything higher or lower than that is bad. how bad it is depends entirely on how out of gamut your levels are for your particular needs and it's not something you can just guess at based solely on how you feel. too much and too little have a lot of identical symptoms. feeling crummy doesn't automatically mean you have "too much stress hormone", and all the marketing you see about "lowering cortisol levels" is complete nonsense. if you're stressed, removing cortisol or adrenaline from your body isn't going to automatically lower your stress levels or make you feel subjectively better. in fact the opposite is often the case.

extensive research on hormone levels and chronic and acute illnesses show that cortisol being too LOW is just as likely in CPTSD and autism (for example) as it is to be too high. low dose hydrocortisone (synthetic oral cortisol medication) self-administration is one of the more promising and effective treatments that's been trialed for fibromyalgia and ME-CFS, for example.

I'm just posting this so you have some mental resistance to the snake oil ads that are constantly circulating. cortisol is a real hormone with real effects on how you feel and how your body functions, but it's not just a chemical you can remove from your body to magically feel better. it doesn't work like that. you need cortisol for basic functions, and while having too much definitely happens and can make you sick, many chronic illnesses actually result in cortisol levels that are too low. much of the time, feelings of stress and illness result from lack of cortisol, not an abundance of it.

either way this is not an issue you can take Instagram supplements about to fix anything, so don't even be tempted. those people are trying to balance your humors and it's bullshit

[dollwhite]

Singing death

[not a chapter]

All writing made by me will be under the tag ‘dollings work’

Also I’m thinking about making a side account but I don’t really think I want to because i would like to focus more on this one.

Made by Dolling

“Tim.. this is the second time this month.” You said, you arms folded in front of your chest. Staring instantly at your now broken window. “You’ve got a key for a reason child” you added.

It’s not like you didn’t have the money to fix all of the broken windows,but having to pull excuses out of your ass when the workers ask what happened. Was getting exhausting, you bought an extra key for him and he has his own room in your condo. But he still brokes your windows??

Kids now days.

Ya didn’t mine back then, because it was always fun to get a surprise visit from Tim. But now it’s like he doesn’t know when to go home, don’t get confused you loved Tim like he was your own son. But sometimes he had to remember, you’re not his bio mother. And that you had your own needs, like dating!

Before meeting Tim, you love life was not… not the best. With you being a popular singer, trying to find someone to date. Who wasn’t with you because you were famous and rich was hard, even other rich people wanted to date you because you were the famous ‘s/n’

And when you took a break from singer, you thought.

“oh maybe I’ll have time to date now!”

oh boy how wrong you were, it’s like the first week you took a break Tim showed up. And with him being thrown in your life, you didn’t have time to date.

But today was your date night, it’s the first date you choose to go to in months. But now you have to cancel why? Because your ‘son’ decided instead of going back to the batcave or whatever it was that the farry bat had. He came to your condo, and it wasn’t like he didn’t know what today was, you had told him two weeks ahead.

Just so he know that you wouldn’t be home, so he wouldn’t come with one of his surprise visits. But he came anyway, and he broke your window!

It’s not like you didn’t get him a key to your place the thread week you guys met. Maybe he liked brokering windows? You hoped not…

“Maybe I miss you?” The why Tim said these words, they felt… calculated.like this encounter was all planned out?

“Don’t give me that bullshit, look at my window!” Maybe it was the fact that, you had known Tim for about five months now. That you felt so comfortable scolding him or the fact that you done it so often.

Or the fact that he got himself into trouble a lot.

“I’ll get Bruce to buy you a new one.” Tim murmured as he walked up to you, holding his arms out in expectations for a hug.

“Tim.” You muttered. “You are grounded.”

“Hm- thought you were going to [readers] house?” Jason said, staring at Tim. “She grounded me.”

“S-she [reader] grounded, I’m sorry you? Ain’t you her self proclaimed child?” Dick added. It was after petrol, that they all decided to have a game night hell even Jason was there.

Of course with the exception of Tim as he wanted to give reader a visits and maybe stay the night at their house. It’s like 85 percent of the Tim lived with reader, and that other 15 percent? Oh he spent that time at school.

“And what did you do for her to decide to ground you?” A malicious little voice rung out. It was Damian of course, no one else liked to torture Tim more than him.

Maybe Jason on a bad day but still, it’s like that little demon liked to see to suffer.

“How does she even ground you if you don’t live with her?” Duke asked.placing down a drew four on the coffee table, for Cass.

“Yeh, how does that even work?”

“I’m grounded from her house.” Tim answered, it was a pretty obvious answer to him but maybe some people just don’t get the contacts clues.

“That sucks little guy”

Can u guys tell their playing uno? Also SCHOOL IS CLOSED TOMORROW!! So I might add on to this<333

Anddd do u guys like the name Allure being readers singer name or should I change it?

Also the little special one short I was goin to do…. I don’t think it’s going to be done in time 😭🙏🏽 if y’all have any questions about siren reader don’t be shy ask meee!!

[calxsha]

ミ★ Introduction | ୨୧ Demon Slayers

─☆﹔ 𝙁𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂 :: －𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗈𝗄𝗎 𝖪𝗒𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗋𝗈𝗎－𝖳𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗈𝗄𝖺 𝖦𝗂𝗒𝗎𝗎－𝖨𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈 𝖮𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗂－𝖲𝗁𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗓𝗎𝗀𝖺𝗐𝖺 𝖲𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂－𝖳𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗈 𝖬𝗎𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗈

─☆﹔𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 :: 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗂𝖾𝗌

─☆﹔𝗧𝗮𝗴𝘀 :: 𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇／𝗎𝗉－𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 (𝖦𝗂𝗒𝗎𝗎+𝖲𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂)－𝗌𝖿𝗐－𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝖠𝖴 － 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄𝖿𝗂𝖼－𝗐𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋－𝖢𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗁 𝗋𝖾𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾

─☆﹔ 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙!

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗼𝗸𝘂 𝖠𝗅𝖾𝗑𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗞𝘆𝗼𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗼

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭﹔ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝟓 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫-𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞.

PE teacher Rengoku. He is the epitome of Al Might (mha) mixed with Hairo (Saiki) and a lil’ bit off sass into one person.

“𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫! 𝐌𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟!”

Said wife being you of course. This man makes the most mean comments with out knowing too! It’s not like he means it from the bottom of his heart but the things he says is questionable.

“𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.“

It wasn’t that bad right? He heard his students use this type of language so it must be alright. Except the poor woman ended up crying and running away.

Well it’s not as if he’s running after her, after all he has to eat the delicious bento made by his wife. Your cooking was delicious, no matter if you sometimes burned the food a little, he will still eat it all up like the loving husband he is!

“𝐔𝐦𝐚𝐢! [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞] 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐢 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠!”

PE teacher Rengoku who falls in love with you deeper when he sees you pick Senjuro up from the middle school next to the high school where he works at.

Rengoku who wants a big family with you knowing you’ll best mother in the world. A mother his children are blessed to have. The mother his own mother didn’t have the blessing to be.

“𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞, 𝐰��𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞?“

𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗼𝗸𝗮 𝖯𝖺𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗚𝗶𝘆𝘂𝘂

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭﹔ 𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐈𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭, 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. (𝐀 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞)

History professor Giyuu Tomioka who absolutely hates his job but can’t quite because ‘it what his wife and Sabito love’.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮-“

He’d mutter while the white crayon he wrote in the board made a screeching sound. He was just explaining the historical horrors of the sengoku period when a student yelled out some profanities.

Okay he wouldn’t actually abuse them because of school policy, but those children get in his nerves so bad. And not in the good way you get him riled up. Speaking of that…

“𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬.”

“𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞?”

Your poor husband just wants to release all of that tension, okay?! It’s not his fault those kids are so annoying. But he supposes that holding you close with your hands tangled in his hair is a nice treat for after all of that.

He loves you so much, always taking care of him like a good wife. But giving him the necessary scare if he deserves it. Definitely has you do his hair because and he quotes ‘you do it better'.

"𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠... 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭, 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞?"

He’s probably too afraid to loose you in childbirth after hearing about Rengoku his ‘tragic backstory’. A fellow teacher’s at Kimetsu high school.

But alas, he is your husband and his fears won’t stop him from fulfilling your wishes of becoming a mother.

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞? 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞-?”

“𝐍𝐨, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞] 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.”

𝗜𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗢𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗶

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭﹔ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 ‘𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞’ 𝐊𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲-𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐨.

This man gives off mean chemistry teacher aura. Like excuse me, what do you mean you don’t know that Germanium is a metal? (If only he could physically hit them kids). Nope instead he traumatises them each lecture/lesson.

Luckily for the students he has after lunch you come to drop off a bento made for him. And Obanai being the down bad husband he is, he become a soft little boy whenever you pass by. Talking with the art teacher, your best friend- Mitsuri Kanroji.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲.” - 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞.

“𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝-”

That poor student should be happy he’s not half dead in the hospital after that comment. Speaking of student, those ‘pests’ as he calls them- they spread lots of rumours.

One of them being that the chemistry teacher (Obanai) as a crush on the art teacher, Kanroji Mitsuri. Proof? He blushes everytime he walks past her.

“𝐌𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐢𝐥.”

“𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.”

Easier said than done. The reason why he blushed so much around her was because Mitsuri happened to catch you both on a date. Seeing the usually stoic and cold chemistry teacher being all lovey dovey on his wife was a sight to behold.

Of course she had promised to keep her lips shut but the teasing glances weren’t ignored by the students. Rather- they were interpreted as something else. And after a much needed explanation life continued. (Those children were way too embarrassed after realising you were his wife).

“𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞.”

As for children, he wants a bunch. Seeing as he never got to grow up with siblings he wants to have many children so that they won’t ever be alone. But of course he respects the fact that childbirth is hard and painful. He’ll stand beside you, hold you, and never let you go. Not again…

And after the birth of his first child, a beautiful baby girl… let’s just say he became softer to the girls in the class. A real proud girl dad!

“𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞.”

𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘇𝘂𝗴𝗮𝘄𝗮 𝖲𝖺𝗆𝗎𝖾𝗅 𝗦𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬. 𝐈𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Sanemi could be everything, he has the degree to do so. But no, no no no! Sanemi decided to become a math teacher. He thought so highly off his skill that he should pass it down. (This was before he knew children would be a pain in his ass.)

Don’t hate on him! He’s an amazing teacher, only if you listen to him though. Another reason why he’s so likeable is, his wife. You. Everytime you came to bring off his forgotten lunch or an assignment for the students they couldn’t be mad. They loved the way their men’s professor was so gentle with you.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡! 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐗- 𝐨𝐡 𝐡𝐮𝐡.. 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞? 𝐀𝐡.. 𝐌𝐲 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡? 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”

Yeah nobody is forgetting the way his tone became a little more high pitched and the way his eyes softened. After you went away though is when the chaos began again.

Another headache for the white haired man, especially when they started asking about his scars. Sure he heard comments here and there among the students in the hallways but asking him directly to his face?

“𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬?“

That girl walked away scared after seeing the dark look on his face. Those scars have always been a sensitive part of him and the fact that you accepted him whole made them even more vulnerable.

You’d always whispered sweet words of affirmation while placing soft kisses along the lines of his healed scars, the ones on his face at least. The others on his chest and arms… well that’s something left to the night time activities.

“𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐰. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡-”

Now that we’ve mentioned the kids part, he wants them. YES GOD. But, his mom neglected both him and his siblings. It became so bad that she hurt him. In this way he also neglected his siblings because of the pain and the trauma. He never wanted to neglect Genya… and he certainly doesn’t want to neglected his children.

So he’s got the typical ‘I’m afraid to be a father’ case. When you’re finally pregnant, reality sinks in. He doesn’t know how to feel, so he feels everything like a punch to the gut.

Happiness, nervousness, fear. But most of all the immense love he hold for you. Again he’s reminded how much he holds you dear to his heart.

“𝐒𝐨.. 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢-𝐦𝐞? 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭-? 𝐈’𝐦 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠-… 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭.”

𝗧𝗼𝗸𝗶𝘁𝗼 𝖭𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗌 𝗠𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦. (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲)

Book nerd! He’s the typical nerd-looking student. Doesn’t mean he’s overly smart, nope, he just looks like one. Reads books all the time because he gets surprised every time, no matter if he’s already read it. Why? Because of his amnesia, otherwise known as ‘short term memory loss’.

Even with the accident that happened to him he always recognised you. Even if his mind didn’t, his heart did. In the end it worked out because you find it cute to see how the poor student reacts every time you tell him that he’s already your boyfriend. Not that he minds.

“[𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞] 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞? 𝐍𝐨- 𝐡𝐮𝐡.. 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝?”

Studying with him is also absolutely hopeless, until Kamado Tanjirou walked into his life and became his best friend. His amnesia slowly became less and less. He started to be more clingy too.

After his brother’s funeral he became an outcast to society. That car crash changed his life forever. Not wanting to be close to anyone. And the constant fear that anyone close to him would die was keeping him from everyone too. But then there was you. His seating partner. You opened his heart once more. And he’d be damn if he’d let someone or something take you away.

“𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?”

This man has big fat dreams of you both getting married. So don’t walk out on it! As for children, he’s not thinking of them right now- after all he’s also a child.

After becoming an orphan and being adopted again, he’s scared that his own family would be ripped apart. Yet slowly and surely, the thought of having children with you in the future and having your own little family seems appealing.

“𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞.”

ミ★ ©𝖢𝖺𝗅𝗑𝗌𝗁𝖺 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟧 | 𝘿𝙊 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 | 𝘿𝙊 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 | 𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝗒 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋s

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 @ihrtszaa 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐠���𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲!

[ihadtohaveone-blog]

The demon king seemed happier recently. You couldn't help your curiosity and asked him. What he said chilled you to your spine.

"We finally got though. My spies finally got to your king. Your person chosen by God to lead you."

"Thats..." Not possible. The king was the book end of the story. He was supposed to give a speech to the valent heros, to the beautiful saint and her party. A speech of hope, perseverance, and loyalty. "Our solders would have..."

"Yes... Your solders held their line. Your allies however..." He smirked. "They folded very quickly. None of them were as disciplined as yours. Their superiors weren't fighting along side them not like you lieutenant. Rather demoralizing isn't it? I'm sure you'd agree since your saint would rather train in comfort then conflict."

That wasn't fair. Both you and him knew she couldn't join the fight as soon as her powers showed up. She would die the first fight she joined. You knew that and you hated her anyway.

"I can't wait to partake. I wonder if royal flesh is really that different from others. I'll have to host a dinner." the demon king mused. "I'll get to introduce you to my right hands. I wonder what they'll think of you."

Ah... The dinner. The incident that spurred the saint to finally join the fight. A dinner that served his most loyal. A dinner that served... the survivors and other escapees. The survivors of his first conquest.

But the king wasn't supposed to a part of it. He was supposed to be rescued after a quick plumber reference. He wasn't supposed to be brought here. He was supposed to live.

How much... How much did you change the story? Would... Would they win? Did you... Doom the kingdom?

No. No! Of course not! The demon king wanted the crown! So he would still fight the saint to try and get it. It didn't matter what his other motives were.

What... His motives... were...

He wanted the crown because he wanted the princess. He wanted someone to spoil, to cherish, to break. He wanted someone to love him, know him, hate him. He wanted her because he didn't know of anyone else. the saint was too young, the other demons to loyal, the other kingdoms too weak.

He wanted someone that could kill him, he didn't care who it was or who he had to kill to get them.

But the princess didn't join the fight and kill his subjects. She didn't ooze enough hate for him that he could sense it from miles away. The princess didn't sneak past his guards, travel his maze, or break down his doors. She didn't carry a holy object that refused her through all of that so she could stab him. So that she could carve out his heart and feed to chickens.

You did.

And now that he had you did the crown matter to him? Or would he raze the kingdom to the ground to build a new one? One where you, and only you, would live?

If you were in hell... Where was the rest of the world?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dinner was... Grotesque.

Lady finger sandwiches. Thigh roasts. Eyeball croquembouche. Ribs staked like pyramids. Hearts arranged like apples. Goblets filled with blood.

All of them suspended in magic to keep it alive. To keep it moving. To keep it... Fresh. You felt ill.

It was different when you read the descriptions in the book. It was different when you saw the pictures in the game. It was different because now you could hear the clanking of silver ware. It was different because now you could smell the perfumes and sauces that rose from the table. It was different because now you could see them on your plate.

You didn't partake. You couldn't. They were your comrades, your friends. The only ones left from your village. Now they were dead. Leaving only you and the saint.

you could rationalize it when you were bed bound. The demon king didn't make it look like human meat. He it made into soup, or porridge. But this wasn't... You couldn't...

You were in hell and you couldn't stomach it.

Bad End: Soldier A

I'm pretty sure you know the story. Everybody does. Chosen Hero, Demon King, they fight, save the day, yada yada. Everybody supposedly lives happily ever after. Everything sunshine and roses. Puppies and farting rainbows. But... but it's NOT.

It's really fucking NOT.

I used to love reading stories like that. They were escapism. Grand adventures in a terrible, grey, slowly crushing hellscape of a world. But... but, FUCK. At least there weren't drauger! No demon wolves or skeleton soldiers! Or the FUCKING little flying bastards. God. I HATE those ones the most.

They have sharp, needle-y little claws and teeth like a SHARK fucked a TREE THRESHER. And they scream. Just... yowl and yowl in this ear splitting high pitch like they're trying to DEAFEN you ON TOP of trying to rip you apart.

That life was peaceful.

I was a fool to wish for anything else.

I am not the Chosen One. I'm not even a supporting character. I remember this bullshit little yarn, and I? Am NO WHERE fucking in it. I am just... just some rando, in this struggle of demons and Gods. The child of Some Dude. We... we had chickens. Fat, happy, lil hens.

I remember being ENTRANCED. I had lived all my life, before, in suburban sprawl. So chickens? Strutting around and chasing bugs? Tiny me was hypnotized.

It saved my life.

I half wish it didn't, some days.

That I died, sudden and without the chance to truely comprehend, along side my family. That my neighbors eldest hadn't seen me by the coop. Grabbed me desperately as he ran for his life. Our entire FUCKING village...

There were six survivors.

I was one of them.

And it's... it's all just? FLAVOR TEXT for the Chosen One's tale of Glory. A reason for why she's so NEEDED. So BELOVED. Look how AWESOME she is! Saintess, because when are they NOT? Hero, because it's all about HER. A god damned LOVE STORY thrown in, because THAT'S important, while people are suffering! Dying!

Are? You? KIDDING ME!?

Legends speak of a "Hero's Party". I know damn well it's true. That it WILL succeed. But FUCK that. FUCK waiting for her to "be ready"! To gather allies and turn from some sheltered little rose, into the warrior we ACTUALLY NEED. It's my world too. I was the one who had to help dig out survivors! Tend to the wounded! Fight off swarms! Hold back the dead!

I...! I was the one who had to LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE and... AND-!

B-Because sometimes? SOMETIMES?! Those bites DON'T HEAL. Can't heal! They are filled with so much demonic power, that the only thing they CAN do is corrupt. Fester. Poison. Sometimes you're already DEAD and nothing short of the oh so precious SAINTESS could possibly save you.

But she's not HERE... is she?

So you have a choice.

If you're lucky? It's JUST a limb. A chunk of flesh. But more often then not... well... The lucky ones have time to say goodbye. The unlucky ones get to be twisted and used against their friends. Their family's. And if you care. If you CARE AT ALL? You put them down before that happens.

Because they wouldn't want that.

It... it feeds a HATE in me. An ANGER.

No, that's not right... it's more like? It feeds...

A RAGE.

An ugly, burning thing. That's hollowed out my chest. Wrapped around my bones. Fueled by the memories of every innocent I failed to save. By the fear and the suffering, that just keeps dragging on and on and ON. An endless slog that seems designed to break men down. Destroy us.

I feel like it's killing the humanity in me. The kindness I once had. Like I am burning away everything but purpose. And will have nothing left when I am done. IF I am ever done. It... it used to scare me.

Now I am to angry, too tired, to be afraid.

Let me die. I do not CARE. So long as I TAKE THEM WITH ME. Burn them ALL. My brothers in arms, my sisters of war, those that fight and fight and FIGHT? They feel the same. We didn't fucking WAIT. Refused to watch the slaughter. Gaining ground only to lose it, losing ground only to claw it back.

Holding the line.

We can't actually KILL him. We know that. Only the Saintess can actually fucking END this nightmare. But his monsters? Those still fall too steel. And if we are to die regardless, why NOT in defense of our homes?

We've managed to push a path, deep into the Demonic lands. A spear point to stab the heart of HIS damned empire. We... we can hold it. MUST hold it. At all costs. For that flimsy, weak willed, half trained NITWIT of a child. So when she FINALLY gets off her ass and stops making goo-goo eyes at her trainers? She can come and finish the job.

Then get crowned queen of forever or something.

I don't know, I don't CARE. I'm going to buy some damn chickens. Fill a yard with them. Honor my parents and be the best damn farmer this world has ever SEEN.

Another crash against our shields. Screams as someone's arm breaks. As someone else is savaged through a crack in our barrier, as something probably gives. I slam my spear forward. Vital point. Vital point. Ignore the strain. The way your arm feels like a giant is stepping on it. Like some is trying to rip the shield from your grip. Hold... HOOOOLD!

Go for the eyes. Aim for the throat. Kidneys. Arteries, arteries, heart! The spear is wretched from my grip. I shout for another. Reach blindly, trusting my countrymen. I feel the grip of another one pressed into my hand. I slam my spear forward.

The fight goes on.

For hours.

It was some sort of ape-bear chimera things this time. But bigger and with spikes. No ones quite sure if they're in the "fucked up monstrosities" book yet. I'M certainly too dead on my feet to check. I sit an eat some fucking soup. Mmmmm, rations soup. Technically edible! My favorite flavor.

In the distance, sits the Demon King's fancy ass doom castle.

Any closer? And HE might be inspired to actually "deal" with us. I can't wait for the day it-An explosion of noise from the command tent. Everyone's heads whip around to stare, alarmed. But... but that didn't sound... BAD shouting. It takes us a long, long moment. It had honestly been YEARS since some of us had HEARD such a noise. But...?

W...was that?

Excitement?

I passed off my soup to a newbie. He honestly needed it more anyway. Told him to eat. Then got up and headed for command. Something was happening. As I got close, the flap was all but ripped open. A commander, actually? Smiling!? What the fresh hell?

A commander looking for someone. Spots me. Waves me over and in. I jog over. The tent is practically HUMMING with excitement. And there, on the tabke with the war map? Is an old, OLD dagger. Very... magical girl, in design. Flourishes, sparkling, and lovely dispite being what must be... what, centuries old? Worn to hell and back? What IS that?

It's the weapon of a previous Chosen One.

A Holy Blade.

Holy Shit. HOW. Where?! Where AND HOW!? I thought the royal family snapped all those fuckers up too show off! If not them, the Temple! I'm met with seni-hysterical laughs of disbelief.

A PRIEST stole it.

Nearly DIED doing so. Temple's probably FURIOUS. Gonna come to get it BACK, most likely. We're gonna have to move FAST. We're gonna only get ONE chance at this. I nod. Ready for whatever command needs me to do. Hold off some holy knights? Punch a priest? I'll get... SUPER excommunicated, but? Fuck it. If it saves lives.

No.

No they need me to wield the blade. I'm sorry?? WHAT.

It's apparently Maiden Locked. Fucking... Maidens Only! Got lucky? No holy weapon for you! Married but a virgin? Weaponless! Oh, fffffuck yooooou, creepy perv deities. There are LIVES ON THE LINE, in this, a GOD DAMNED WAR, and you LOCK the import weapons behind "mint condition pu-"!!!

The commander cuts of my, frankly, VERY understandable rant.

Hands on my shoulders. Looks me in the eyes. Will I Do This? I would have to take the knife and sneak behind enemy lines. Into the demon kings castle. And try to get the jump on him. NO ONE would be able to go after me. Help WOULD NOT be coming. If I fail... that's it. Game over. The demons would have me.

I laugh.

It is... not a cheerful sound. Not like it once was.

Is it even a choice? Of course I am. Frankly? I hope it hurts. I hope it's slow. Hurts every second and feels like eons. That he BURNS from the inside out. I'm gonna make him EAT IT.

Waiting until night would be suicide. They get stronger at night. Can blend in to the shadows. But they're cocky. They won't expect an attack just before that. So twilight is when I'll strike. Afternoon, when I head out. I... I leave my gear behind. Say my goodbyes.

I'm not the Chosen One.

Just some farmer's daughter with a grudge.

It don't think I'll be making it back. Don't really expect to even succeed. But by the gods... I plan to HURT him. Every piece we chip away, is one the soul behind us doesn't have to fight. I do this not for me. But for the child who will never know the FEAR that I did.

I will die so they don't have too.

The castle is dark. Humming with power I can FEEL but can not understand. Grand and sweeping architecture. Great windows that should let in far more light then they do. A blood red carpet upon bone white floors. The walls are black. It... some how merely stepping inside, seems to suck all color but red from the world. All heat.

I see no one here.

But I hear whispers.

I tighten my grip around the weapon. The only thing that feels WARM. These hallways are designed to make you feel small, I can tell at a glance. I refuse to give in. I am a farmer. A soldier. I do not CARE about your damn castle! I dig deep into my memories, keeping to the walls, and try to remember where the hero found her foe.

I trace the path in my head. Cut out the lost wandering as best I can. Right slightly, then forward, I think. If I am wrong, I can double back. Follow the book's path exactly. I move slow. As quite as I can.

Still... I find no one.

No servants, no gaurds, no resistance of any kind. Something like fear sighs like a specter down my spine, cold and vague. Something is not right. I do not let down my gaurd... but the longer it persists? The worse my paranoia grows.

Finally. The throne room. Magnificent beyond measure, in blood red and monochrome. Rare touches of gold glint and catch the eye. Stained glass giving it all a surreal scene from high above. The runner at my feet plush enough to render my foot steps silent. It is red... so very, very red.

The Demon King leans against one fist, resting on his throne, magnificent and beautiful like a statue brought to life. Carved of pale ivory and obsidian. Just as feeling as stone. A monster. Living testament that what's inside counts most of all. For inside him? Is nothing but a void. A malicious PIT.

I will see him dead.

On silent feet, I sneak forward. Only to freeze at the foot of the stairs to his dais, my eyes locked on his face. Horror seeps through me.

An amused smirk.

"Oh don't stop NOW, you're so close." Breaks the silence. Golden eyes open, lazy and entertained. "By all means. Try."

My grip on the dagger felt almost painful, for how hard I was gripping it. He... he wasn't even bothering to move. Didn't even see me as a threat. F..Fine. Fine then! If it was a mistake on his part or NOT, I would TAKE IT. Any chance. Any chance at ALL.

The pressure of that gaze felt immense. But I tilted my head up, put my shoulders back, and moved. One step. Then another. Up the stairs. Onto the dais. Forward, slowly. I paused, just beyond his immediate reach. Not that it was anything like real safety. I stared. Shaking. Knowing I was shaking and unable to stop.

He sat splayed. Reclined and leaning against his fist, robes rich and arranged just so. The very picture of indolent decadence. It was deceptive. I KNEW it was. A trap. But to get too him... I had to step closer. My eyes moved from the splay of his legs back up to his face. His smirk had grown teeth. I... I refused to run. I would finish this.

I stepped forward. Between his long legs, feeling distinctly like I was balanced over a bear trap, and lifted the dagger. I refused to hesitate. Wait to see if he changed his mind. I slammed it forward. Right through his heart. Glaring, as I looked him right in the eyes. The blade HISSED. Like acid meeting stone.

He laughed.

Grin full of unhinged glee, a vice in the shape of a hand clamped around my wrist, and the world SPUN. I slammed against the floor, the Demon King straddling me, at the foot of his thrown. He loomed. Behind him, above me, shown a magnificent window the lit him from behind. Like a halo.

"You didn't even HESITATE. You'd rip my heart out, if you could. Wouldn't you?" He says. Almost an whisper, nearly a groan, filthy with something that terrifies me and shouldn't BE there. "I KNEW I sensed something. KNEW you were out there."

I desperately try to push the knife deeper. Use everything I can to... to just-!

All I want... All I NEED? Is to see it come out the fucking OTHER SIDE. Please. Gods, PLEASE! End this! I'm gritting my teeth. Snarling. This BASTARD. I HATE him! I HATE HIM!

"Ah~ That's it, little one." He groans. Not even bothering to hide that he's apparently getting off on this. I'll kill him. I'll FUCKING KILL HIM! "Good~, that's right. Just like that. Give IN~♡ I'll take SUCH good care of you. I've always wanted a little pet. Focus it all on me. Give it ALL to me~"

My brain feels like it's on fire. My lungs filled with ash and flame. I hate. I hate and hate and HATE! I can't think. Something is... wrong? Wrong! The blade hurts to hold. Like it's rejecting me. No. NO! I HAVE TO KILL HIM! I may not be the Chosen One but-!

It finally becomes too much. The pain of holding the blade out weighing my hate. It's like ACID. My hand spasming away like I was trying to touch a hot stove. My palm is an ugly red. Wounded.

In one fluid movement, my wrist is released, the blade pulled free, tossed aside, and my wrist recaptured, before I can claw his fucking eyes out. I grit my teeth. Fangs grinding togeth-... wait.... what?

I stare at my hand.

At the black talon like nails where normal nails were, just this morning. And feel... horror. My... my teeth feel weird. My eyes hurt. Sides of my head too.

"Got you~"

He throws his head back in a triumphant laugh. The sound echoing like a nightmare. Even as I watch, the pigment of my skin is changing. Draining away to something even. Something almost too pale. Unnatural.

"I'm so glad you've decided to join me, darling." My hands are slammed down on either side of my head. His face inches from my. Eyes burning with something terrible. "I haven't had a bride in SO long~ following your progress has been FASCINATING. And now! Oh little thing, I get to KEEP you all to myself. Make you GOOD for me. Learn every inch of you. You should be excited, darling~"

"I'm going to make you a Queen."

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Guide to Literary, Historical, Folklore and Alchemist Themes in "Nosferatu" (2024)

After my post about how the film itself debunks every "popular" view on “Nosferatu” (2024); and the ending explained through cast and crew interviews, (I did full breakdowns on here and on my personal blog), here’s a list of references in “Nosferatu” (2024):

Literary themes: "Dracula" by Bram Stoker (1897); and "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë (1847);

Historical themes: early 19th century (1838), Victorian era. Strict gender roles; views on female sexuality (sickness; contagious; sin) as a marital duty, owned and controlled by their husbands; sexual repression/liberation; Ellen’s mediumship medicalized as “hysteria” and “melancholia”; “love” and “passion” as opposite concepts;

Folklore themes: Changeling (European); Strigoi myth (Balkans); Șolomonari (Romanian); Nachzehrer (Germanic);

Occult themes: Agrippa; Angels and daemons; Enchantress; Babalon and the Beast (New Age of Aquarius);

Alchemist themes:"Sylph" and Paracelsus; Humorism (Humoral theory); Alchemical Gold (Chrysopoeia; Gold-making); Myth of Isis and Osiris.

Literary themes

"Dracula" by Bram Stoker

"The Threat of Female Sexual Expression": Based on 1980's Feminist Literary Criticism (Second Wave of Feminism). the physical figure of the "sick woman" as one of the principal ways in which female sexuality manifests as a contagious disease (Lucy Westenra and her degeneration into vampirism) - Ellen's character as seen by the Victorian characters (especially Friedrich Harding)

19th century "Contagionism" theory: Victorian medicine on disease origin. Disease spread from individual to individual (neglecting environmental issues like polluted water or unhygienic spaces)

"I thought it was agreed you were to keep the girls from her. You mustn’t be swept up in her fairy ways."

Subverted Themes:

Robert Eggers subverted every literary theme in “Dracula”, like he said in one interview: “My influences are all very clear, and Nosferatu is a remake, after all,” Eggers says, yet he plays with the canon, with expectations and clichés – “hopefully subverting them to do something unexpected.”

The Promise of Christian Salvation: This is a Anti-Christian story, at its core. Religious items have no power against Orlok; the fact he can’t enter the Orthodox convent has nothing to do with God (but with him not being given entrance); the God-fearing and religious character (Anna) is the first to die; and the female heroine Ellen not only rejects God (calls it “destiny) but also says she needs no salvation (rejecting Christian salvation, completely);

Madness: Neither Ellen, Professor Von Franz nor Herr Knock are “lunatics”, but the Victorian characters think they are. Knock is in full control of his mental capacities, he’s just a religious fanatic obsessed in discovering Orlok’s secret to immortality and he’s behaving the way he does because he wants to become a strigoi, too, and will stop at nothing to achieve it (even seeking a “violent death” to seal the deal);

The Consequences of Modernity: Ellen’s character and the medicalization of her supernatural gifts and mediumship by Victorian society;

Money: in the novel it’s associated with Count Dracula evilness; here with the Victorian characters. Friedrich Harding (the Victorian patriarch) is wealthy and loans money to Thomas, who drowns himself in debt, in his ambition to climb the social ladder and being “no longer a pauper”. Ellen, the female heroine, rejects money. Orlok gives Thomas a sack of gold in exchange for his signature in the “covenant papers” (the divorce papers) as he’s paying for Ellen’s dowery;

The Threat of Female Sexual Expression: Ellen breaks Nosferatu curse and “saves the day” by embracing her sexuality.

"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë

“I think that what ultimately rose to the top, as the theme or trope that was most compelling to me, was that of the demon-lover. In “Dracula,” the book by Bram Stoker, the vampire is coming to England, seemingly, for world domination. Lucy and Mina are just convenient throats that happen to be around. But in this “Nosferatu,” he’s coming for Ellen. This love triangle that is similar to “Wuthering Heights,” the novel, was more compelling to me than any political themes.”

Dream of Death: Robert Eggers on “Nosferatu” Interview

Love triangle between a free-spirited and medicalized woman (Catherine/Ellen) with a beastly men (Heathcliff/Orlok) and a gentleman (Edgar/Thomas);

Themes of the all-consuming, obsessive and self-destructive passion, wrecking the lives of everyone around them and only stops when they are both dead;

The Destructive Power of Love;

Blend of Hatred and Love;

Separated by death/United by death; couldn’t be together in life, united in death and reunited in the spiritual world.

Historical Themes

Historical context: early 19th century (1838), Victorian era

Strict gender roles: marriage and motherhood as a woman’s destiny; social reputation and provider as a men’s destiny; domestic (women) vs. public (men) spheres;

Infantilization of women: the ideal Victorian woman was a model of virtue, purity and modesty who obeyed their husbands; women were seen as innocent, ignorant and naïve about the world, and were thought to have no minds of their own; the average Victorian woman wasn't allowed to be educated nor possess knowledge outside of domestic life. A woman’s entire life revolved around men: obeying their fathers, preparing for marriage, seeking an husband and as a wife, living for her husband;

Women as their husbands' property; marriage was the institution where Victorian men fully accomplished their male responsibility and privilege: to form a household, provide safety and comfort, and exercise authority over dependents (wife and children) where the trademark of a successful man. This was also connected to their social and professional success, making them respectful in the eyes of other men. A man who couldn’t govern his wife was also seen as unfit, socially, professionally and morally; and the wife’s behavior would reflect on the husband (which is why Friedrich Harding accuses Ellen of being a social embarrassment to Thomas);

"I envy you. You’ve truly taken your father’s place now… it’s incredible."

Victorian views on female sexuality: female sexuality seen as a plague and a monstrosity in need of containment (sickness, contagious, wicked, sin); women should have no sexual desire whatsoever (Ellen's shame; "I'm unclean"); married heterosexual sex was the only socially acceptable sexual expression in the Victorian era, and everything else (masturbation, homosexuality, prostitution, etc.) was considered deviant, “sinful” and “evil”; sex was a marital duty women had to go through to have children and serve their husbands (women’s sexuality owned and controlled by their husbands);

Sexual repression/liberation, represented by her corset, as Linda Muir, the costume designer, reveals in her interview "The Costumes of ‘Nosferatu’ Are Gorgeous - They Also Tell a Story About Female Repression and Liberation": “Her [Ellen] true nature [takes over] in the end. She liberates herself by ripping herself open, ripping her striped dress open. She liberates herself by wearing the same garment over and over and over again when she’s staying at Harding’s home. So she’s liberated herself in that she doesn’t feel the need to dress up completely each and every day. And then she liberates herself completely in the end.”

“Love” and “Passion” as opposite concepts: Victorian love (Thomas) was meant to be chaste, modest and restrained, tempered devotion confined to the household; and the sacrament of marriage ("sacred") was meant to repress and contain "passion". Passion (Orlok), on the other hands, was erotism, sexuality and sexual desire, considered "animalistic" and corruptive.

"Find the dignity to display the respect to your caretaker. And for your husband’s sake, I pray you might learn to conduct yourself with more deference."

Ellen’s mediumship medicalized as “hysteria” and “melancholia”: Robert Eggers tells us: “[Ellen is a] victim to 19th-century society […] she can see into another realm, and has a certain kind of understanding that she doesn’t have the language for,” Eggers said. “But people are calling her melancholic and hysteric and all of these things.” and in another interview: “she [Ellen] has this understanding of this other world, and this other way of thinking that she doesn’t have language for, so she’s isolated. But the pull to it is very strong, and so people consider her melancholic and hysterical, and we can see her fighting within herself. I think having it stem from the realities of a woman who’s a victim of 19th-century society is something that makes it hopefully work."

And in another: “she’s [Ellen] as much a victim of 19th-century society as she is a victim of the vampire. People talk a lot about Lily-Rose Depp’s character’s sexual desire, which is a massive part of the character, of what she experiences — being shut down, and corseted up, and tied to the bed, and quieted with ether. Misunderstood, misdiagnosed. But it’s more than that. She has an innate understanding about the shadow side of the world that we live in that she doesn’t have language for. This gift and power that she has isn’t in an environment where it’s being cultivated, to put it mildly. It’s pretty tragic. Then she makes the ultimate sacrifice, and she’s able to reclaim this power through death.”

“She’s [Ellen] an outsider. She has this understanding about the shadow side of life that is very deep, but she doesn’t have language for that. She’s totally misunderstood and no one can see her […] this demon lover, this vampire, who is the one being who can connect with that side of her." (x)

 “Ellen’s husband loves her, but he can’t understand these ‘hysteric’ and ‘melancholic’ feelings she’s experiencing, and he’s dismissive of her. The only person she really finds a connection with is this monster, and that love triangle is so compelling to me, partially because of how tragic it is.” (x)

The Victorian characters and Victorian society are the actual villains of the story; which subverts, another theme of the "Dracula" novel (where the titular vampire is the villain).

Folklore Themes

Changeling (European folklore)

"Father… he would find me in our fields… within the forest… as if – I was his little changeling girl." 

“Changelings” are human-like creatures from European folklore. They are children kidnapped by fairies, elves or demons and a substitute child being left in their place. Ellen's father called her this because she she enjoyed playing and being in nature, when she was supposed to be indoors (domestic sphere).

Strigoi (Balkan Folklore)

Count Orlok: quintessential strigoi morti, a undead creature from Dacian mythology and, consequently, from Romanian folklore, who raises from its grave to feed on the living and must return to it before dawn:

Appearance: walking corpse; bald and leathery; skin infested with maggots, cracked and oozing with putrescence and decay; long, spidery fingers; fangs cannot be retracted (sores on his lips and chin); dressed in moldy, torn out clothing (the one he was buried in);

Cause of curse: Ellen resurrected Orlok and cursed him at the prologue (confirmed four times in the film). Connected with his tragic backstory Robert Eggers won't share with the public (but influenced Bill Skarsgård entire performance and gives meaning to the ending of the film); late 16th century voivoide (count) from Transylvania, was married (couple bedroom where he attacks Thomas) and had a family (multiple sarcophaguses on his castle cript);

Characteristics: "psychic vampire"; it's not blood he feeds on specifically, but souls (soul trapped in the blood), and that's what sustains him (and that's why Thomas had to be exorcised). Plague-carrier ("blood plague"); controls animals (rats and wolves); astral projection powers (shadow); and manipulation of dreams (nightmares to create fear).

Haunting: strigoi haunt the person they loved the most when they were alive, and drag them to their grave. Reincarnation theme.

Strigoi "repelling" blessings and tokens:

“Dau cu ustoroi de strigoi”

Ritual to locate a strigoi grave:

"The means of repelling and destroying vary greatly from region to region [...] Their efficacy is plainly unknown. Boiling wine, a spike of cold iron transpiercing the navel, decapitation, incineration…" Professor Von Franz to Dr. Sievers

A virgin girl on horseback will be attracted to the strigoi grave and locate it. Then the strigoi can be killed. Here with a spike of cold iron. This ritual is all wrong on purpose, because it’s usually a black stallion and done during the day (when strigoi are resting on their graves). No strigoi was killed in this scene because the Roma people work for Orlok (as in the "Dracula" novel) and he wanted Thomas to see this ritual.

Șolomonari (Romanian Folklore)

"A black enchanter he [Orlok] was in life. Solomonari. The Devil preserved his soul that his corpse may walk again in blaspheme."

Șolomonari are dark wizards from Romanian folklore, who were believed to ride a dragon (“balaur”) and control the weather (rain, thunder, storms), and usually lived as beggars. The were frequently recruited among the common people and taught black magic at the Solomonărie (or “Scholomance”, in the Germanic version); some call it “Devil’s school”, others “School of the Dragon”. They are said to be taught by the Devil himself, and their school was located underground, in the Carpathian Mountains, in Transylvania. The name Șolomonari is often associated with King Solomon and alchemy.

According to folklore, there were seven, ten or thirteen students, who didn’t saw the sunlight during the seven or nine years duration of their studies. Some accounts describe them as “strigoi vii” (living strigoi; wizards and witches); but this isn’t Orlok’s case otherwise Robert Eggers wouldn’t be so secretive about his backstory (the reason for his curse is something else). At the Solomonărie, they learned magic (spells), the secrets of nature and the language of all living things; as well as ride flying dragons and control the rain.

As their final assignment to become a Șolomonar, they had to copy their entire knowledge of humanity into a “Șolomonar’s book”, a book of wisdom, which would become the source of their power. Which is what we see in “Nosferatu” with the Șolomonar codex of secrets Professor Von Franz finds in Herr Knock’s office; it was written by Orlok himself.

At the end, it’s said one of the students was chosen by the Devil to be the “Weathermaker” and tasked with riding a dragon to control the weather. This dragon was said to be kept submerged in a mountaintop lake, south of Sibiu. While the other was selected to be servant to the Devil himself; which is what the Orthodox Nuns believe Orlok to be, as does Professor Von Franz.

“Our Nosferatu is of an especial malignancy. He is an arch-enchanter, Solomonari, Satan's own learned disciple.”

However, Orlok is no “devil worshipper”, because like his iconography tells us, he’s a Pagan enchanter, follower of the Dacian god Zalmoxis, owner of the secrets of life and death.

The "demonized Pagan": the connection between Zalmoxis worship and the folkloric Șolomonari began in the early 20th century by Romanian social scientist Traian Herseni, who proposed the “Dacian cloud travelers” and “Șolomonari weathermakers” are connected, and this myth has its roots in Dacian religion. Nowadays, this theory is openly embraced by xenoarchaeologist Jason Colavito. No matter the historic validity, this is the interpretation Robert Eggers is using in “Nosferatu” (2024).

Orlok sigil: an heptagram (seven-pointed star) surrounded by a Dacian Draco ouroboros (rebirth; reincarnation; immortality); the letters are cyrillic for “Zalmoxis”; the center is the alchemist symbol for blood; the symbols appear to be Vinča; archeological findings in Romania with these symbols being over 8,000 and 6,500 years old, and consider by many as the oldest form of human writing, but their meaning is still unknown (they are here either to show Orlok comes from an ancient bloodline; or he has known reincarnations throughout the ages)

Heptagrams are connected to the seven elements of Alchemy but aren’t represented like this. Heptagrams are also connected to divine feminine goddesses, like Babalon and Isis.

Nachzehrer (Germanic Folklore)

When Professor Von Franz discovers the Șolomonari book in Herr Knock's office, he also finds a cryptic writting: "His thunder roars from clouds of carcasses, I feedeth on my shroud, and death avails me not. For I am his.” 

This is based on Germanic folklore, where the "nachzehrer", also known as "shroud eater", is a sort of vampire who needs to devour both its burial shroud and body in order to survive. It's immortal, and lives off humans even after death. In folklore, it's believed the most common way for a person to become a nachzehrer is to commit suicide or die accidentally (which is what happens to Herr Knock and what he was seeking). It's also associated with disease, for in Germanic folklore, when a large number of people die because of a plague, the first people to have succumbed to it would be transformed into a nachzehrer.

Occult Themes

Agrippa

"He [Professor Von Franz] became obsessed with the work of Paracelsus, Agrippa, and the like [...] Alchemy, mystic philosophy… the occult."

Henry Cornelius Agrippa von Nettesheim was one of the most famous occultists in Europe in the 16th century. He was a versatile scholar, and knowledgeable in the fields of science, medicine, magic, philosophy and theology. However, he was dismissed as a charlatan and self-promoter by many, while others praised him for his pioneer role in the scientific revolution, especially due to his intellectual curiosity (in opposition to the church authority).  

His works incorporated elements of the cabala, numerology, mathematics and theology; a mix of Christianity, Neo-Platonism and occult science. His most notorious treaty is called “The Nobility of the Feminine Sex” (1532) where he asserts the natural superiority of women, and counterarguments Greek and Roman philosophers and even the Christian Bible, advocating for social gender equality.  

Professor Von Franz is probably based on Agrippa, mostly his “reputation” as a charlatan and self-promoter (he’s an outcast in Victorian society and considered a “lunatic”), and he's the only human character who recognizes and respects Ellen’s supernatural gifts, as well as her agency.

Angels and daemons

When Professor Von Franz tries to determine with whom Ellen is communicating with, he uses his Abraxas stone ring to compel her to speak, and he conjures both angels and demons during this scene:

"Who, damn you!? Speak!! I command you, hearken to my voice. By the protection of Chamuel, Haniel, and Zadkiel, impart your speech unto me. In the name of Eligos, Orabas, and Asmoday, impart your speech unto me."

Chamuel: Also known as Kamael, "One who seeks God", is the angel of peaceful relationships, and considered one of the seven Archangels (who have the honor of living in God's direct presence in Heaven) by Jewish Kabbalah and some Christians;

Haniel: "Joy of God", is the Archangel of joy who's known for taking Enoch to Heaven;

Zadkiel: "righteousness of God", is the angel of God's mercy;

Eligos: is a "Great Duke of Hell", ruling 60 legions of demons. He reveals hidden things and knows the future of wars;

Orabas: is a "Great Prince of Hell", with 20 legions of demons under his control. He answers questions and gives one power and control over others;

Asmoday: is the "King of Demons", in the legends of Solomon and the constructing of Solomon's Temple.

Abraxas stone rings were considered magical talismans or charms since the Middle-ages, connected to the Seven Olympic Spirits (Aratron (Saturn); Bethor (Jupiter); Phaleg (Mars); Och (Sun); Hagith (Venus); Ophiel (Mercury) and Phul (Moon)); and to Gnosticism (personal spiritual knowledge above organized religion), who considered Abraxas as “the God above all Gods”.

This is also connected to Agrippa, “Occult Philosophy”, book three, which covers the intellectual world of Pagan gods and spirits (including angels and demons), and gives magical procedures for invocation and communication with them, as well as with God (sigils, amulets, magical alphabets, sound, perfumes, etc.); and the kabbalistic tree of life (hierarchies of angels and Demons associated with each sephirot). The idea behind this conjuring is to infuse the lower angelic orders with the light they receive from God, as they instruct the orders.

Enchantress

Ellen has been a somnambulist since infancy, and she always had supernatural abilities; premonitions (“I know things”), as she would know what her Christmas presents were before opening them, and when her mother would die, which indicates she always had a connection to the spiritual world.

Professor Von Franz recognizes Ellen's spiritual power and ability to communicate with the spiritual world (“I believe she has always been highly conductive to these cosmic forces, uniquely so”). She's a medium (or a psychic); someone with the ability to connect with the spirits of deceased loved ones, spirit guides, and other non-physical entities.

What the Victorian doctors call “hysterical fits” and “epilepsies”, are, in fact, trance-like states of spiritual communication (trance mediumship), similar to Pagan priestesses. Like Von Franz tells the audience, Ellen inhabits the “borderland”, a peripheral area, a portal between the two worlds: the physical (matter) and the spiritual. And this is what Victorian society medicalizes in Ellen, and tries to restrain with drugs and corsets, not only her sexual nature, but her spiritual power, her own nature.

Orlok calls Ellen "enchantress". Historically, enchantresses were practitioners of feminine magic: oracles, healers, herbalists, midwives and shamanic shapeshifters. They were what’s commonly known as “witches”. These female magicians studied and practiced their art in goddess temples, mystery schools, alchemy schools and hedge schools. The alchemists of the Middle-ages studied these dynastic lineages of “wise women”, and they had several names: "enchantresses", "chantresses", "encantrices", or "incantrix". 

Ellen is, then, a "incantrix": uses words, incantations, songs, spells and prayers to shape reality. They were, also, the priestess of an old religion (as Professor Von Franz also calls her "great priestess of Isis"), gifted with magic power and authority to command the elements or the body by the power of their word.

Babalon and the Beast (New Age of Aquarius)

The birth of the New Aquarius was already the occult meaning of the original 1922 “Nosferatu”, because Albin Grau was a student of the occult and a member of the Fraternitas Saturni (German magical order devoted to Saturnian doctrines) under the magical name Master Pacitius. Within the occult leaders there was tension due to their beliefs, and Grau eventually sided with Aleister Crowley Thelema (which views we see in Eggers “Nosferatu”).

While Stoker saw Count Dracula as pure evil, Grau reinterpreted the vampire as a symbol of transformation through confrontation with darkness. Saturn, in esoteric tradition, represents restriction, death, and rebirth (the forces that initiate profound spiritual change). Grau viewed the vampire as a reflection of these principles, a shadowy force that compels the aspirant to face mortality, fear, and their own inner darkness. And his death symbolized the birth of the New Age of Aquarius (Saturn as ruler of Aquarius), a new era of collective awakening and innovation.

Robert Eggers included the divine feminine (Babalon), his heroine is already a dark character, as he describes his Ellen as “dark chthonic female heroine”, who makes the ultimate sacrifice to "reclaim this power through death". Chthonic = gods or spirits who inhabit the Underworld; and, in his version, Orlok gifts Ellen with immortality and rebirth (not death like in the original "Nosferatu").

When Ellen and Thomas are returning home, there’s a man in the streets rambling bits from the “Book of Revelations” (Apocalipse) from the Bible: “And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, owith ten horns and seven heads, with ten diadems on its horns and blasphemous names on its heads.” (Revelations, 13:1).

This passage is about Orlok arrival and his "blood plague", but there's a character (also from the "Book of Revelations") connected to this beast: the Whore of Babylon, the “Mother of Prostitutes and All Abominations of the Earth”, and she rides this Beast, which is the same as Crowley’s Babalon. What Crowley did was a positive reinterpretation of this biblical figure, symbolizing liberated female sexuality by embracing the powers of the Divine Harlot.

Initiatrix, Creator and Destroyer, Babalon is the “Great Mother” because she represents Mother Earth. Like Isis, she’s the Archetypical Mother, the Womb, the Great Sea and the Divine Blood itself. According to Crowley, the “whore/harlot” facet is about enjoying sex without the burden of reproduction; and the “mother of abominations” connects with destruction like natural catastrophes, plagues, etc. She’s the ruler of the cosmological sphere and both good and evil (as evil as elemental forces can be or are considered as). Babalon is the guardian of the Seven Principles of the Underworld, a place of darkness and transformation. Babalon is also the goddess of the liminal point, who can access other realms. As Goddess of vengeance, Babalon punishes when life is out of balance, and exerts violence and corruption upon those who are in the wrong. Ellen ("mother of abominations") unleashes Orlok onto the world, and we can interpret him bringing plague into Wisburg as Ellen’s reckoning against Victorian society, which ostracizes her and will never accept her.

According to the Thelema, Babalon is the “Sacred Whore”, and her primary symbol is the Chalice or Graal (symbolic womb). She’s a consort to the Beast, who has seven heads, which is symbolically represented in her heptagram sigil (parallelling Orlok's heptagram). To Crowley these are archetypes in his Sex Magick beliefs: the “Scarlet Woman” is the High Priestess, and the “Beast” is the Hierophant: Ellen (the priestess, enchantress) and Orlok (priest-shamam; enchanter). Orlok is described as a “beast” several times in the film, and he says Ellen’s passion is bound to him, like Babalon’s passion is united with the Beast.

All rites and initiations of the Underworld Goddesses include rites of sex and death. Which is what we see with Ellen at the end of “Nosferatu” (2024). By Thelemic occult tradition, she, the manifestation of Babalon, has sex with the Beast (Orlok), “representing the passion which unites them” and her womb (Holy Grail; cup) is “aflame with love and death” (sexual climax, orgasm, with an un-dead vampire), to give birth to the New Age of Aquarius.

Crowley described Babalon:

“She rides astride the Beast; in her left hand she holds the reins, representing the passion which unites them. In her right she holds aloft the cup, the Holy Grail aflame with love and death. In this cup are mingled the elements of the sacrament of the Aeon”.

"the cup, the Holy Grail" = womb

"Aflame" = orgasm

"with love and death" = sex with undead Orlok

"sacrament of the Aeon" = the "aeon" in Thelema is a spiritual age, in this case it's Ellen's womb who gives birth to the New Age of Aquarius

Alchemy Themes

"Sylph" and Paracelsus

"Do extend my tardy congratulations to your wife. She is truly a… A nonpareil of beauty. Almost a sylph." Herr Knock to Thomas Hutter

A “sylph” is air spirit (or nymph) from the 16th century works of Swiss physician, alchemist and theologist Paracelsus, with roots in folklore. Sylphs are invisible beings of air (or air elementals), connected to fairies and pixies. On his “A Book on Nymphs, Sylphs, Pygmies and Salamanders, and Other Spirits”, Paracelsus described the four elemental beings, each corresponding to one: Salamanders (fire), Gnomes (Earth), Undines (water) and sylphs (air).

Sylphs are formed and live in air, and they have power over the air element, particularly the wind and the clouds, where they move freely. They do not fare well outside of their element; they burn in fire, drown in water and get stuck in earth. They are portrayed as the guardians of secret knowledge, and protectors of nature.

During the 19th century, there was a renewed interest in sylphs in European society, especially in theatre, where they appeared in several plays and operas as ethereal, graceful, charming and ultimately unattainable.  

Ellen is compared to a fairy three times in the narrative: by Herr Knock ("sylph"), by her father ("his little changeling girl") and Friedrich Harding ("her fairy ways"). We also see her floating at the prologue when she meets Orlok.

Humorism (Humoral theory)

“You [Dr. Sievers] have bled her to decrease the congestion? […] And her menstruations are also? [Liberal]. Too much blood. Too much.”

Professor Von Franz physically examines Ellen, as her trance is beginning, and determines she has “too much blood”: in connection to “Humorism” (or “humoral theory”) with possible origins in Ancient Egyptian medicine, and then used by Ancient Greeks and Romans. Hippocrates suggested that humors are the vital bodily fluids, and they are four: blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile. This belief was common during Middle-ages in Europe.

Ellen having “too much blood” means she has a sanguine temperament (not a melancholic temperament); it was believed that, when in good health, “sanguines” are cheerful and loving; but when there’s an imbalance, they are “hysterical”, which is what Victorian doctors also diagnose Ellen as (“hysteria”).

The treatment is bloodletting (bleed the patient, drain their blood; a practice still used in the early 19th century), to remove the excessive blood; which is what Von Franz also advices in Ellen’s case. “Congestion”, in the medical sense of this time period, means “containing an unnatural accumulation of fluid”, in Ellen’s case it’s blood. This diagnose will come full circle when Thomas and Dr. Sievers discover that Orlok is with Ellen when they go to Grünewald Manor. Von Franz tells them “She wills it! Your wife wills it!” and Orlok himself “can’t resist her blood", which means Orlok cannot resist Ellen, herself.

Mutual healing theme: At the end, Orlok drains Ellen of her excessive blood, balancing her “sanguine temperament” and ending her “hysteria” and “melancholy” (he also gives her an orgasm, a nod to hysteria as repressed and frustrated female sexuality); and Ellen’s love and willing sacrifice sets their spirits free from the rotten vessel they were trapped in ("and freed them from the plague of Nosferatu"); as they are reunited in the spiritual realm, now fully healed.

Alchemical Gold (Chrysopoeia; Gold-making)

"I had nearly unlocked the final key of the Mysteriorum Libri Quinque. No… No matter. I miscalculated the stars. Hermes will not render my black sulfur gold this evening." Professor Von Franz to Dr. Sievers and Friedrich Harding

“Mysteriorum Libri Quinque” is part of a collection of mystic writings by mathematician, hermetic philosopher and astronomer Dr. John Dee (16th century). An avid learner of the secrets of nature, he made no distinctions between mathematical research and the supernatural (which he considered mere tools to achieve a transcendent understanding of divine forms underlying the visible world, called “pure verities”). In 1580, he began experimenting with evocations to contact and communicate with angels, and Edward Kelly joined him in this project in 1582. They both documented every interaction they had with angels and wrote about their language, which they called “Enochian”. This collection of esoteric writings was only found, by accident, after John Dee’s death.  

Alchemy, at its core, is the transmutation of base materials (lead, etc.) into noble materials (gold), and the pursuit of immortality (“philosopher’s stone”). Occultists reinterpreted this as a spiritual quest of self-transformation, purification and regeneration of the human soul. Hence physical death being seen as a gateway to another life (rebirth, reincarnation).

Both Ellen and Orlok evolve from a diseased and corruptive state (physical world; black sulfur) into regenerative and perfect state (spiritual world; gold), after being purified by fire (Sun). Their old selves are empty shells, as their spirits ascend. This also finds parallel in the myth of Isis and Osiris, as they both went from “daemons” to Gods in the Plutarch essay.

"I believe only you have the faculty to redeem us [...] You are our salvation."

At the end, Von Franz succeeds in transform black sulfur into gold, as he, too, emerges redeemed and avenged by Ellen’s fulfilling her covenant with Orlok.

In modern occult beliefs, alchemy is considered as a mystical system designed to transmute the soul from a “base” or “leaden” state of spiritual impurity to a “gold” or purified state of divinity, with the chemical procedures of alchemy being an elaborate metaphor for psycho-spiritual development. This idea was popularized by Carl Jung, among others.

In alchemy, this “gold” wasn’t like common gold, it was a miraculous, incorruptible substance, “the true and indubitable treasure”, which could only be perceived by those who can see with their mind’s eye: “Nolite dare sanctum canibus” (“Do not reveal what is sacred to dogs”) and “Neque mittatis margaritas vestra ante porcos” (“Nor cast your pearls before swine”).

Myth of Isis and Osiris

"In heathen times you might have been a great priestess of Isis."

The “Osiris Myth” is one of the major surviving pieces of Egyptian mythology. It’s a ancient tale, with its early versions dating back to the 5th Dynasty (c. 24th century B.C.). It has known several adaptations throughout Egyptian history. The most complete version is in “The Moralia” by the 1st-century scholar Plutarch of Chaeronea, a collection of essays about Greco-Roman culture; that became very popular during the Renaissance era (14-16th centuries) and the Enlightenment period (18th century) in Europe. 

Isis and Osiris were brothers, and according to Ancient Egyptian religion, they were in love with one another before they were born, and enjoyed each other in the dark before they came into the world. They eventually married. They had a brother, Seth (or Typhon in Plutarch essays), the God of deserts, storms, disorder and violence, who murdered Osiris to take his throne. He tricked Osiris into climbing into a wooden chest/coffin, shut the lid, sealed it shut, and threw it down the Nile River, knowing Osiris would never be able to survive. In some versions, it’s said Seth cut Osiris body into pieces and scattered them throughout Egypt.

Osiris had two facets as a God: in life, he was the God of fertility, agriculture, and vegetation, being considered a “Shepherd God”; in death, he was the God of the Underworld, the judge and Lord of Dead, the afterlife and resurrection. The pharaohs of Ancient Egypt were associated with Osiris in death, because as he rose from the dead, so would they unite with him and gain eternal life through imitative magic. Which is also the whole deal between Orlok and Herr Knock in “Nosferatu” (2024), as Knock seeks to gain immortality like Orlok, by serving him.

Isis is the epitome of the mourning widow in this myth, as she mourns Osiris’ death deeply. Here enters the symbolism of the lilacs in "Nosferatu", the symbolic flowers of Ellen and Orlok: in the Victorian era, they were associated with widows because they represented a memento of a deceased lover. Isis sought for Osiris’ mangled body and with help of tree other Gods (Nepthys, Thoth and Anubis), they sew Osiris’ body back together, and then wrapped it head to toe in strips of linen, creating a mummy. Orlok’s corpse appears almost mummified at the end of the story.

In the Osiris myth, Isis uses powerful magic (incantations and magic spells) to bring her dead lover back to life; similar to Ellen who resurrects Orlok with her summoning prayer. In one version, this happened on a night of the full moon; in “Nosferatu” (2024) we also have a full moon connected to Ellen and Orlok, in the prologue, when he reveals himself to her:

According to Ancient Egyptian funerary texts, it’s Isis sorrow, sexual desire and anger that empower her magic to be able to bring Osiris back to life. When Ellen prays for a companion of “any celestial sphere” in the prologue, she’s crying (sorrow), she’s upset because her father recoils from her now that she’s no longer a child (anger) and she’s in her teenage years/puberty (sexual desire). Like Isis with Osiris, it’s the combination of these emotions that power her magic to unconsciously resurrect Orlok. 

However, Osiris can’t remain among the living, because he has to return to the Underworld and become King of the Afterlife. But before he goes, Osiris and Isis conceive Horus, the God of the sun and the sky, who will restore peace and order to the universe.  In “Nosferatu” (2024), Professor Von Franz says that “with Jove’s holy light” before dawn, the plague will be lifted. “Jove” is Jupiter, the “King of the skies”, who’s connected with the Egyptian Horus. Horus and Ra are often merged together in Ancient Egyptian religion, making Isis and Osiris the metaphorical parents of the Sun.

In “Nosferatu” (2024), as Orlok and Ellen complete their covenant, consummate their wedding, the sun is also the metaphorical result of their union. As dawn breaks, the sunlight vanquishes them both from the physical world, as they both die in the material realm. After being buried by Isis, Osiris goes into the Underworld to rule over it. And from then on, Isis herself is also associated with funeral rites, as she would guide the souls of the dead, helping them entering the afterlife. Through her magic, Isis helped resurrecting the souls of the dead, as she did with Osiris, acting as a mother to the deceased, providing protection and nourishment. At the end of "Nosferatu" (2024) we see Ellen fulfilling her role as “priestess of Isis” (or as Isis herself?), as the Goddess of healing, who ends the Nosferatu curse, the blood plague in Wisburg, and also guides her dead lover Orlok with her to the Underworld.

[soulventure91]

#ockiss25, prompt 4 - 'reunion'; featuring Seht Thorne

-

Months. Months of Emmrich searching and the others coordinating. Lucanis could barely dare to hope that there would be results, even with Spite clawing in an anxious frenzy.

[Find! Rook!] the demon demanded, a regular refrain that was the only thing that kept Lucanis moving, or at least attempting to do so. After dealing with Zara and Illario, Rook - Seht - was the only person Lucanis could find something that felt like normalcy.

And yet each time his eyes got too heavy to stay open Lucanis saw the vivid flash of the Fade opening, Solas emerging in the space that had only a moment before contained Seht leaning over him, her night-blue eyes fixed on him but also distant. And then she was gone, her salted-apple scent absent for the first time in months.

"Lucanis - you stand here, please," Emmrich requested, drawing Lucanis out of the twisting agony of memory and regret surrounding Seht's absence. "You and Spite will be the contact point once I begin the ritual; I believe this particular vergence in the Fade is exactly where she is."

"You said that the last three times," Taash huffed, their arms crossed from their position outside the traced runes and lines in the Lighthouse's courtyard. "At this rate we might as well let Solas win!"

"No," Lucanis growled, envisioning that smug face looking down at him in disdain when he replaced Seht in reality. "That is not happening."

"Quite right," Emmrich agreed as Lucanis took his position. "Taash, please be prepared in the event the ritual locates something else again."

"Like the last three times..."

"Not giving up!" Spite burst out of Lucanis, which Lucanis allowed with a measure of relief. "Find! Rook! Need Rook!"

Spite's outburst at least got Emmrich and Taash to focus on the ritual. Lucanis let Spite slip away to stew and fuss; the better to focus, on ensuring that, this time, Emmrich had found Seht and they would save her. Elgar'nan's coup over Minrathous was too pressing, and the one good thing of Solas being out of the Fade was the clear fact he was distracting Elgar'nan from accessing the full power of the Blight.

They needed Seht. The arguments early on had surrounded whether they separate and muster their own resistance alongside what little aid the Inquisition could possibly send, or search for Seht because she undoubtedly understood Solas's final aims better than any of them and rescuing her would give both Solas and Elgar'nan pause. But more selfishly...

[We tell her! Tell her truth! Want! ROOK!]

Lucanis huffed as he had to push Spite's demanding voice aside, just in time to hear Emmrich begin the ritual. Like the past three times they'd tried, Lucanis felt Spite's wings open as the demon lunged along the Fade-path Emmrich laid. Lucanis closed his eyes to let his sense of Seht direct Spite's search: the curl of her horns, the exact shade of warm brown in her hair, the way her eyes glinted with stars when she smiled. Like a slight breeze along the canals, Lucanis caught a scent, which Spite honed in on. Sea salt and apples, a hint of caramel.

Seht.

"That's it - just here, we're close now!" Emmrich reported. Lucanis kept his eyes shut but raised a hand towards where he was certain the portal was starting to form. Spite kept following the scent, and Lucanis felt his heart racing as Seht's smell got stronger. Spite hissed warily in Lucanis's ear as another scent itched Lucanis's nose: like rot and molasses.

[Regret,] Spite grumbled. [Tried to trap her, sticky chains -]

The mere thought of Seht imprisoned - like he'd been, tormented and alone - enraged Lucanis. She had fought to set him free, and now he had to return the favor.

"Seht!" Lucanis couldn't help shouting into the space in front of him before forcing his eyes open. The portal was forming, vivid white-blue with a thread of Spite's violet seeking through it. He squinted as a shadow-outline began to form through it, too hazy to be certain.

[Rook?!]

"Somethin's coming, get ready!" Taash warned, but Lucanis didn't reach for his blades. Instead, he kept his hand raised as he started walking towards the portal. Inhaled again, and Seht's scent was stronger through the regret-scent.

Maker, I have never prayed for anything, save for this - that she is on the other side and safe -

Lucanis watched as the shadow darkened - coming closer, certainly - and pressed against the portal. He barely needed to see the emerging dark bronze fingers, her hand wrapped in dark leather that held her Warden bracers in place. Lucanis grabbed tight, and could have wept as Seht's hand tightened around his.

"It's her! I have her!" Lucanis gasped before he dug in his heels to start pulling - Spite's wings tucking in support - as Taash rushed in to reach through themself, clearly getting a hold on Seht. Lucanis grunted as even Spite 'pulled', and with a final heave the shadow - Seht - fell through the portal. Taash moved out of her way, but Lucanis was all too glad to let Seht's body crash into him as they both collapsed onto the stone of the Lighthouse. The portal shut behind her, and Lucanis momentarily buried his head against hers - breathing in Seht's scent, present and here. He squeezed her hand tightly, and after a few moments Seht returned the squeeze before raising her head. Her night-blue eyes fixed on him, and Lucanis felt his heart skip as she scanned his face in relief.

"Lucanis...you're alive..." Seht breathed. Lucanis's free hand reached up to cup her cheek, thumb brushing just past the corner of her mouth. "I - I thought..."

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured in reassurance. Lucanis ducked to press his lips to hers - soft, brief, but every fiber of him needing to know she was here and real. Lucanis nearly broke the kiss, if not for Seht returning it, arm curling around him. He sighed tenderly before Seht ended the kiss herself, and Lucanis was more than happy to tuck into her as Seht held him tight and close.

"I'm not going anywhere."

[rook-knavery]

WIP WEDNESDAY

//

Currently Untitled. Still unedited.

A little more of this thing, because gang the going has been slow.

Spite comes to learn that Solas is lurking in Rook’s dreams. He does not like it.

//

“Rook, why don’t you sit down. I will get you something to eat. In the meantime, perhaps you can explain to Spite what happened.”

Rook’s frown deepened, brows scrunching as she migrated to the closest chair.

As she lowered into the seat she asked, “Spite?”

“It will keep you occupied while I throw something together. Plus, he seems quite curious.” Lucanis would not tell her that the demon seemed concerned, or protective. He would not tell her that Spite came in with her, walking so close he could have been her shadow. He would not politely inform her that he would likely bleed all over the kitchen — and the gnocchi — if he didn’t at least try to get an explanation on the demon’s behalf.

“Okay, um… Good morning, Spite.” She slouched into the chair, leaning her elbows on the table so she could press her eyes against her palms.

There was a huff from the demon as he moved to stand directly across from her. Afternoon. Tell her.

Lucanis did, if only because there was a softness in the demon’s tone that threw him off guard. He wouldn’t mention that, either. Or the way frenzied energy that surged from Spite seemed to ease when she addressed him. Instead, he busied himself from his fretful thoughts by making his way to his room — the pantry.

“Solas is… Well, technically he is an elven god, but he’s been trapped in the fade. Specifically a fade prison that is linked to me because I’m just lucky, I suppose. Well, I mean, it’s because blood—”

When Lucanis stepped into the pantry and the door shut behind him, Rook’s voice faded away.

There were various, easy foods he could ply her with. Their team were snackers at heart, and there was a wide variety of no-prep options — but after missing breakfast, and lunch, and shuffling in with what looked like the mother of all headaches he wanted to give Rook something comforting, and cozy. Something that would hold her over until supper was finished. He pulled a woven bag of oats from the shelves, along with his hidden jar of cinnamon and a green apple from the nearly empty bushel tucked into the corner. Porridge with apples, cinnamon and brown sugar. Maybe some toasted bread with butter, if she wanted anything else.

Rook was still speaking when he left the pantry, her voice a little ragged, gently chafing as she said, “… It’s not like he attacked me or anything, but sometimes it seems like the fade itself gets mad at me whenever he does, if that makes sense? Sometimes I wake up and I feel so drained, and hurt. Maker, and when we aren’t just in the prison he is providing live fucking commentary on my dreams.” She heaved a sigh that made her whole body deflate. “And before you suggest it, I can’t just not sleep. Lucanis and Neve are built different. I think I’d actually die.”

No, Spite rumbled. Do not die.

“Not like it isn’t an improbability anyway, right? We are fighting gods, but—“

I said no. You will not—

“Spite, perhaps you can go fetch Emmrich.” When the answer was a low, irritable growl he added, “He can help Rook.”

And he’d be damned if it didn’t work. The growling immediately ceased, and while Spite lingered for a moment more to watch Rook, he vanished into nothing a beat later. How troubling; but also how good to know.

“Is he still here?”

“No. He left.” He passed Rook as he made his way over to the stove.

“He didn’t actually just listen to me vent, did he?”

“He did. It would appear that he does not like it when you speak of your own death. If you could avoid such a subject in the future that would be appreciated.”

Rook hummed and murmured a quiet apology. “I didn’t think he’d care.”

It is frightening how much he actually cares, he thought. But he couldn’t fathom why. Lucanis could only speculate, and he often wondered if it was because Rook had been the first person to address him as something other than a tool, or a thing to be rid of.

It couldn’t be good to be cared about by a demon.

It took a couple of minutes to get the woodstove stoked and warmed. Kindling was fed into the oven and lit, the building heat eventually bringing the stove top to temperature. A sauce pot was placed on the surface and he filled it with a helping of the oats, water, and a pad of softened butter. Emmrich arrived not long after Lucanis had finished peeling and chopping the apple. Manfred and Spite followed just behind. They were an interesting trio. Emmrich’s immaculate poise, to Manfred’s stilted lumbering gait, to Spite’s haunched, predatory prowling.

“— when one considers that the particular instance of the fade is imprisoning an ancient elven god. And if my understanding of the situation is correct, he is linked to—“ The formal lecturing fell away and softened the moment Emmrich’s eyes found Rook’s slumped figure. “Oh, Rook, my dear girl. Why didn’t you call for me?”

Lucanis put his back to the two to give them what privacy he could. The oats were starting to bubble. He retrieved the jar of brown sugar from the shelving about his prep station. Three spoonfuls were added.

“You’ve got better things to do than taking care of my headaches,” Rook grumbled.

“If I ever gave you the impression that assisting you was an inconvenience I do sorely apologize. Please know that is never the case. I’m always more than happy to lend a hand whenever I am able. Have you eaten anything today? You were notably absent at breakfast.” He tutted.

She did not eat breakfast or lunch, Spite hissed before Rook could even speak. This is the first time she has left her room.

Lucanis turned to look at Spite only to immediately meet Emmrich’s surprised gaze. Spite was standing close to the two, practically hovering over Rook as he observed the way Emmrich had pressed the back of his bare hand against her forehead.

When Emmrich’s brows rose into his hairline in a silent question, Lucanis replied, “Don’t ask me.” He didn’t know. He had no damn clue and he was sure that Spite would refuse to elaborate in a way that made sense.

“Come now—“

“I do not know, Emmrich. Truly.”

When Manfred came to his side and reached for the stirring spoon, Lucanis let him take it. He was rather partial to Curiosity’s much more gentle nature and didn’t mind humoring him when the situation allowed. Manfred started stirring the porridge, first one way and then the next. The wooden spoon left a sizable divot it’s wake then he stirred again the other way. Then a zig-zag across the pot, and a tightly winding swirl. It seemed to be less about the activity of stirring and more the way the thickened oats momentarily retained the path made with the spoon before sluggishly filling in.

“What?” Rook asked, tired eyes opening just to glance between them.

“Spite is being quite helpful, is all,” Emmrich replied gently. “I’m going to use a little magic now. May I?”

“Yes, please.”

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer couldn't believe it. He's here- Adam is here. Right in front of him. He's real.

That's when everything slapped Lucifer in the face. His appearance and his room were a complete mess, definitely not something he wants Adam to see.

Snapping his fingers, Lucifer's room became only a tad tidier, and he summoned himself some clean clothes and the best imitation of a put-together guy. His hair was slicked back, brushed, and even though he couldn't help the paleness, some different tones foundation will do.

But Adam growled before he could put on his purple eye shadow: I don't give a shit how you look, it took me nearly four hours to fucking drive here, so stop wasting my time, shorty.

Charlie glared up at Adam, she hated how he spoke about mad to her dad. There was no need for it. But when Adam didn't even shoot her a glance, she gave up.

Lucifer: I- of course, sorry! Come in!

Charlie smiled at her dad as Adam walked into the room. Giving him a thumbs up, she walked away.

Breathing out slowly, Lucifer closed the door. He's got this. He's definitely got this.

Turning around to face Adam, he felt his heart race and his body burn. Adam, the minx, was torturing him.

Adam was sitting on Lucifer's couch with his legs folded. His large furr coat was open and draping off his shoulders. He had a short dress that showed off his legs till about mid thigh, and tasteful gaps showed off his midsection and a good part of his chest. And those thigh-high heels were doing something sinful to Lucifer's body.

Though the more Lucifer stared, the more Adam's leather wings twitched and his tail trashed.

Adam: Eyes up here, Lucifer.

Lucifer blushed snapped a small chair in front of Adam: S-Sorry! Sorry!

Sitting down, Lucifer smiled softly at Adam. He was too scared to do much else, in case it set Adam off.

In the dimness of the room, Adam's yellow and pink eyes glowed menacingly. If Lucifer wasn't the Devil, he would be terrified.

Lucifer: S-So, uh... thank you for coming... first I... I wanted to apologise. Properly.

Adam tilted his head: For what?

Lucifer blinked: Uh... w-well... I would say Eden, but... I think that's a topic for another day...

Adam: Yeah, there's only so many of your fuck ups we can talk about without alcohol.

Lucifer chuckled awkwardly: Yes, uh. Well. You're not wrong... so, first... I'll apologise for my actions the first time we met in Lust. What I did... I shouldn't have hurt you. That was uncalled for and completely unreasonable. You didn't deserve that.

Shifting in his seat, he decided to keep talking when Adam said nothing: S-Second. I shouldn't have gone to your house uninvited and... uh... and-.

Adam: Try to fuck me in my pool?

Lucifer recoiled. Fuck, that sounded bad. Because it was: Yes. That was incredibly stupid of me... I... I spoke to Charlie afterwards because I didn't understand where I went wrong- you're an incubus, I thought... you would want me that way. But, she made me see that just because you're a sex demon doesn't mean you want sex all the time or would have it with everyone and anyone... I've learnt the error of my ways and how that affected us negatively and had... the opposite effect I wanted it to have.

Adam: Hm... anything else?

Lucifer straightened up: Y-Yes, actually. One more thing. With Ozzie... I shouldn't have denied your form to go to earth. That was selfish of me, and... so, so wrong. I've waited a long time to speak with you, and I could have easily waited another three years. Especially if it would have helped you.

Adam: ...That's it?

Lucifer nodded: That's it... for now.

Adam gave a small laugh, making Lucifer beam: Look... I appreciate what you've said. I'm glad you've realised how much of a cock hole you've been.

Lucifer: Oh- of course!

Adam: But.

Lucifer: But?

Adam: But, I don't think I can forgive you... not yet. And, I'd like to work on that... I want you to know how much you've hurt me... not only these last few months, but also during our meetings, and in Eden. I... I did nothing to you, and you treated me like fucking shit. I was so confused, I had no idea why you just- starting hating me! Avoiding me! Like... like I was some sickness.

Lucifer: I... I understand... but, that wasn't the case! It's just... when you get in a relationship, you kinda... lose focus on everything else.

Adam: ...Bullshit.

Lucifer sighed: Adam-.

Adam: No, shut up. Don't "Adam" me, like I'm some fucking idiot kid. I've lived as long as Lilith, I'm not fucking stupid! You hated me! The way you looked at me-! The way you would both glare and walk away from me-! Like I did something! The fuck did I do?!

Lucifer: That- that isn't important right now-.

Adam: Yes, it fucking is! It is because I say it is! What did I do, Lucifer?!

Lucifer stayed silent.

Adam: What did I do?!

Lucifer: Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I swear!

Adam: ...Then... then, why...? Why would you hurt me...? For no reason? You thought it would be funny? What? Why?! You better have a fuckinf good reason, Morningstar, because you fucking broke me. My life was miserable on Earth, and in Heaven- because of you and that fucking whore wife of yours! So, tell me! Tell me the reason why I was nothing to you?! Tell me why I wasn't good enough to come back for- but Eve was?! Why did you come to save her but not me-?!

Lucifer: She said you hit her! That you controlled her!

Adam: ...W-what? Who?

Lucifer: ...Lilith...

Adam: ...H-Hit her...? I've... I've never... done that... I- I swear... I never hurt her- I loved her!

Lucifer: I-I know you didn't...

Adam: What? Then why did you... you just couldn't say no to her? Was she worth me than me? I... I don't understand...

Lucifer: ...I believed her. Everything she said... but she lied. Adam. All of it. She lied.

Adam: ...I... I was ruined... broken...because of a lie...? I... I wished for death because of a lie...? I lost everything... because of her... f-fuck- I-I need to get out of here. I'm sorry for coming- fuck, I shouldn't have come.

Lucifer panicked as Adam stood and pulled his coat tightly around himself. As he made his way out of the room and down the hall, Lucifer followed quietly behind.

Lucifer: Adam- wait, please.

Adam: Wait?! I- do you have any idea what this means?! Nothing! I was broken for nothing! I could have been different, Lucifer! Perfect, I could have been Perfect, but she took that from me! She took everything and YOU rubbed dirt in the fucking wound! You want me to wait?! I wanted you to wait! I wanted you to fucking come back for me! But you didn't! I-I want to scream at you! Yell-! Fuck, I want to kill you! I'm so angry I don't know what to fucking do!

Adam knelt down, pressing his back into the wall. His hands gripped his hair, he felt tears in his eyes but they wouldn't fall.

Lucifer didn't know what to do. The man on the floor was shaking and breathing hard and fast. He was so lost.

When he looked towards the stairs, he saw everyone from the lobby standing there, looking at Adam and him. He just looked at them dumbly. Or, more specifically, looked at his daughter. What could he do?

Succubus au

@beef-brisket

@fanofstuff01

(This au was originally on @things-aren't-what-they-seem66blog and was originally thought of by an anonymous ask)

The roaring of the crowd and the playing of his guitar deafened his ears but the incubus didn't care. He loved the way they cheered his name while he shredded on his axe. With one final strum, his song was done. He raised his arms and gave the horns, to which his fans reciprocated, and bid them all goodnight. He walked away his hands still raised until he was out of sight from them. Adam sighed heavily and wiped the sweat with his forearm as he made his way to his dressing room.

Once there he flopped onto the couch and groaned. Though Adam loved being a rockstar and having adoring fans, he wouldn't lie to himself, each performance, especially concerts, can be quite draining since he always had to prepare with mic checks and making sure he sounded right. Steve, his producer/manager/on-and-off-again fling, always assured him that these were mandatory. Just one of those sacrifices that come with being a star. Still, Adam felt a little like shit and he needed a drink, a hard one. Unfortunately, his evening wasn't quite over yet as knocking was heard from the other side of the door then a voice called out.

Assistant: Excuse me? Commander? I'm sorry for bothering you but I brought the VIP guests here with me.

Adam sighed completely forgetting about that. Almost all VIPs get access to meet him after every show. Though he loved his fans coming to him and saying how much they loved him, maybe even getting some head from the older crowd, tonight, he didn't want to. However, he knew that he didn't have much of a choice. Unless he wanted Steve up his ass, and not in a good way. Letting out a long groan he sat up, rubbed his eyes, and yelled out to her.

Adam: Bring them in.

He closed his eyes and sighed once again as he heard the door open and feet shuffle in. He prepared himself for the immediate responses of squealing and clamoring over to shake his hand. However, he was not prepared for a familiar voice to call out his name.

Charlie: A, Adam?

He opened his eyes and standing in front of him were Charlie, Vaggie, and a one-eyed sinner.

[fanfictionstuff]

Mephisto x True Cross Instructor Reader where he goes into heat while giving her a positive performance review for her work as an instructor... and then it turns into just him going feral ;o?

This has been mostly written for a while now. Sorry, I got distracted and kind of forgot to finish it. Thanks for the reminder.

Let me know what you think because I'm not as confident writing Mephisto

"Ah, you're here!" Mephisto exclaims with a cheerful tone that resonates through the spacious office. His forest-green eyes sparkle as he sifts through a multitude of papers scattered across his desk.

"I truly appreciate punctuality," he says with a grin as you step into his office. You’ve just returned to Japan, and within minutes, Mephisto has summoned you. Rising from his chair, he stands tall, commanding the room with his impressive height. 

"Please, come in! Have a seat," he invited, gesturing towards the chair across from his desk. 

With a wave of his hand, he motions for you to take a seat before settling into his chair with a comfortable sigh. "Now," he began, his tone shifting from its earlier lightness to something significantly more serious. "Let's get down to business, shall we?" His eyes glint as he leans forward, fingers steepled together, and a sly grin plays on his lips. “I've been keeping a close eye on your work while abroad." He gestures vaguely towards the array of notes and photographs spread across the desk. 

"You've done well," he reflects enigmatically after a pause, relaxing in his chair, his green eyes shimmering with a hidden secret.

Peeking over his steepled hands, Mephisto continues, "Yet, my dear, there's always room for improvement. It's a simple truth that we are all students of life, continually growing and adapting." His voice becomes more theatrical as he gestures grandly toward the window, where the setting sun casts dramatic shadows across the room.

You sit there, pretending to be interested in what he’s saying. Performance reviews are invariably dull and repetitive. You could be at home relaxing, but instead, you must listen to Mephisto reiterate things you already know. You recognize that you did a great job, but, of course, there’s always room for improvement. After all, nobody is truly perfect.

Suddenly, Mephisto falters in his monologue. A slight furrow creases his brow, and a faint flush spreads across his cheeks as he breaks off mid-sentence. 

"Is there anything else on your mind?" you ask, surprised by the abrupt shift in Mephisto's demeanor. He is typically so... steady.

"I- ahem..." he stutters for a moment, clearing his throat uncomfortably—a gesture that surprises you and evokes a hint of concern. "It seems I’m not feeling quite well,” the demon king confesses, interrupted once again by an awkward coughing fit. 

"Do you need help? Should I call someone?" you asked cautiously. Mephisto paused for a moment, contemplating your words before dismissing whatever fleeting thought crossed his clever mind. "Now, now, my dear, there’s no need to worry. It seems I've just caught a fever," he said, laughing weakly. A gloved hand swiped across his forehead, coming away sweaty.

He dismisses your concern again, sliding deeper into his seat. "I appreciate your kind offer; however, there's simply nothing you can do right now... except..." His voice trails off suddenly, replaced by a vague expression that briefly reveals a glint of mischief in his eyes, as if waiting for some sort of reaction.

The sing-song lilt of his voice trailed off, and the way his emerald eyes flickered with feverish brightness and curiosity sent an unsettling prickle up your neck. 

"Except what...?" you ask tentatively, pulling yourself upright from where you had slouched down in your chair across from him. 

"Well," Mephisto smiles slyly. "It appears I've perhaps overestimated my own resistance." 

Your eyebrows arch at this vague confession. "You see, my dear… it appears"—he pauses dramatically, creating almost unbearable tension—"I can smell… that you're ovulating."

Caught completely off guard by his proclamation, you blink at him, speechless and bewildered. “Excuse me?” The words escape your lips, your voice quivering with indignation and disbelief.

Mephisto tilts his head to the side, a peculiar gleam of delight shining in his eyes. "Oh dear," he chuckles softly, "you seem surprised. Some demons possess a heightened sense of smell," he explains, as if it’s nothing out of the ordinary. "It intensifies when we are in heat." 

“Heat?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“So, you’re horny?” 

“You’re just making me sound like a pervert now," he sighs dramatically. 

“Mephisto, you are a pervert.”

Mephisto couldn't help but chuckle at your incredulous response. He tosses his head back, his refined laughter echoing throughout the vast room. "Oh, such accusations," he says, managing to speak between fits of laughter before regaining his composure. He swipes a gloved hand across his eyes and adds, "You wound me deeply." 

"You’re just dodging my question," you reply, frowning as you cross your arms over your chest. 

"You certainly make it sound rather crude," Mephisto responds, waving his hand dismissively. "But yes, to use your terminology, I suppose I could say I’m… 'horny.'" 

His confession is greeted by a prolonged silence. You stare at him, your eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Mephisto emits an amused chuckle, a satisfied grin playing on his lips as he savors the heavy awkwardness hanging in the air. 

"But in truth," he continues lightly after a moment of contemplation, reclining casually in his chair. His green eyes lock onto yours as he gestures dramatically with his gloved hand in mid-air. "What I'm experiencing is simply a natural aspect of my existence- we demons are merely... driven by our desires during such times." 

Despite the initial shock of his declaration, a sudden curiosity sparked within you. You uncross your arms and lean forward on the armrests of your chair. 

"And what happens during... " You hesitate over the wording before finally allowing yourself to say, "these times?" 

"Ah! An excellent question!" Mephisto seems pleased by your curiosity. Leaning forward eagerly, he rests his elbows on the desk, clasping his hands together. 

"In essence," he begins, pausing for a moment as he contemplates the best way to express his thoughts. "Our senses are heightened. The mundane transforms into something exquisite. Pleasures that we might typically overlook become irresistible indulgences." 

His smile becomes coy as he leans back in his chair again, one gloved hand thoughtfully brushing against his hideously colorful tie. 

"And perhaps most intriguingly," he continues, his forest-green eyes sparkling with a wicked gleam of amusement, "our pheromones have the ability to attract potential mates." 

Your heart races at that revelation. You gaze at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape, unsure of how to process what he just suggested. 

Mephisto's eyes glimmer with mischief as he observes your reaction. A sly grin stretches across his face, exposing his pointed teeth. 

"Oh my, did I shock you?" he purrs, leaning forward. "I really enjoy seeing that look of surprise on your face. It's quite... enticing." 

A flush creeps up your neck as his intense gaze rakes over you. The air in the office suddenly feels thick and charged. 

"I... um..." you stammer, at a loss for words. 

Mephisto chuckles softly, a hint of mischief in his voice. "No need to be shy, my dear. We're both adults here, aren't we? After all, it's just biology." Rising from his chair with fluid grace, he circles the desk, his presence commanding. "Though I must confess, your scent is particularly alluring today." 

As he approaches, you catch a hint of his scent—spicy and intoxicating. Your head swims slightly. Is this the pheromones he mentioned? 

"Perhaps we should explore this mutual attraction," Mephisto proposes, his voice low and silky. He extends a gloved hand invitingly. 

You blink rapidly, striving to clear your mind. Mephisto's scent envelops you, overwhelming your senses. A part of you yearns to grasp his outstretched hand, while another instinctively warns you to be cautious. 

"I... I'm not sure this is appropriate," you stammer, even as a shiver of desire betrays your body. 

Mephisto's grin broadens, a predatory glimmer igniting his eyes. "Appropriate? My dear, we've moved far beyond such trivial matters." He inches closer, overshadowing you. "Can't you feel it? The electric chemistry between us?" 

As if in a trance, you reach for his hand. The instant your fingers meet his gloved ones, a surge of electricity flows between you.

Mephisto effortlessly lifts you to your feet, drawing you close. You're enveloped by his intoxicating scent—spicy and sweet, reminiscent of cinnamon and cherry blossoms. It leaves you lightheaded.

"My dear," he whispers, his lips gently grazing your ear. "You can't imagine how long I've yearned for this moment."

His words send a chill racing down your spine. You glance up at him, noticing his flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. 

Your heart races as Mephisto draws you closer, his arm wrapping tightly around your waist. His forest green eyes lock onto yours, filled with a mix of hunger and mischief. 

"Are you sure this is truly what you want?" he purrs, his breath warm against your ear. "I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop once we start. Will you stay with me the entire time?” He begins to pant softly in your ear, the closeness intensifying. "In my current state of heat, I won’t have much control," he admits. 

For a brief moment, you hesitate, caught in the conflict between your mind and your body's yearning. Yet, the intoxicating aroma of his pheromones envelops you, clouding your judgment. With a slight nod, you murmur, "Yes." 

A wicked grin spreads across Mephisto's face. "Excellent," he murmurs. 

In one fluid motion, he sweeps you off your feet and gently places you on his desk, scattering papers across the floor. His lips collide with yours in a passionate kiss, while his gloved hands explore your body. You moan softly into his mouth, your fingers intertwining in his dark purple hair. 

Mephisto breaks the kiss, gently trailing his lips along your jaw. "You have no idea how long I've yearned for this," he growls. "Your scent drives me wild every time we cross paths." 

His teeth graze your neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lips. You tilt your head, granting him better access as he showers attention on the sensitive skin of your throat. His fangs scrape teasingly, sending shivers coursing down your spine. 

"Oh, my darling," Mephisto purrs against your skin, his voice a smooth, low rumble. "You taste even sweeter than I had ever imagined."

His gloved hands glide over your body with an intense fervor, leaving behind warm trails in their wake. You arch into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips. The intoxicating scent of his pheromones surrounds you, clouding your senses and heightening every sensation. 

Mephisto's lips glide down your neck, his teeth lightly grazing your collarbone. "Such exquisite sounds you make," he murmurs. "I wonder what other delightful noises I can draw from you?" 

With a snap of his fingers, your clothes vanish, leaving you bare beneath him. You gasp at the sudden vulnerability, but the chill of the air is quickly replaced by the warmth of Mephisto's naked body pressing against you. 

"Beautiful," he breathes, his forest-green eyes traversing your form with openly revealed desire. "A true feast for the senses." 

His mouth descends upon yours once again, the kiss deep and demanding. You respond with equal fervor, your hands exploring Mephisto's lean shoulders as he kisses you intensely. His skin feels feverishly hot against your touch. Eventually, you break the kiss, gasping for air.

"Mephisto," you gasp. "Are you sure you're okay? You feel like you're on fire."

"Ah, my dear," Mephisto chuckled breathlessly, his eyes shimmering with a blend of amusement and barely contained desire. "Your concern is quite touching, but I assure you, this... heat... is entirely normal for a demon in my state."

His warm hands glide gracefully over your skin, creating intricate patterns that leave behind trails of tingling sensations. "In fact," he purrs, leaning in close to gently nip at your earlobe, "it's about to get much, much hotter."

His lips glide down your body, creating a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. You arch into his touch, completely consumed by the intensity of the moment. Mephisto's hands caress your thighs, gently coaxing them apart.

"So responsive," he purrs with appreciation. "I wonder just how sensitive you really are?"

Without warning, he dips his head between your legs. You cry out at the initial touch of his warm tongue, your fingers tangling in his dark purple hair. Mephisto hums with satisfaction, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body.

"Exquisite," he murmurs against your heated flesh. "Your taste is divine, my dear."

Your mind goes blank as he works on you with expert precision, his sinfully long tongue entering you before moving to focus on your clit, bringing you to the edge repeatedly only to deny you release. Just when you think you can't take any more, Mephisto raises his head, his forest-green eyes gleaming.

Mephisto's eyes lock with yours, burning with primal hunger. He rises slowly, his lean body sliding against yours as he positions himself between your trembling thighs. You feel his hard length pressing insistently against you. 

"Are you ready for me, my dear?" he purrs, his voice rich with desire. "I'm afraid I won't be able to hold back much longer." 

You nod urgently, at a loss for words. Mephisto grins, showcasing sharp teeth. In one fluid motion, he sheaths himself deep within you. You gasp at the unexpected fullness, your body arching away from the desk. 

"Oh, exquisite," Mephisto groans, his eyes fluttering closed in pleasure. "You feel even better than I imagined." 

He starts to move, setting a relentless pace that leaves you gasping and gripping his shoulders. The desk creaks beneath you with every powerful thrust. Mephisto's lips meet yours again in a searing kiss that takes your breath away. 

"Mine," he growls against your mouth. "You're mine now." 

His words send a thrill through you. You wrap your legs around Mephisto's waist, urging him deeper. He groans in approval, his thrusts becoming more frantic. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and arousal, punctuated by the sound of skin on skin and your shared moans of pleasure.

"That's it, my dear," Mephisto pants, his voice strained with effort. "Take all of me." 

You feel yourself nearing the edge, every nerve ending alive with sensation. Mephisto appears to sense your impending release and redoubles his efforts, angling his hips to hit that perfect spot inside you. 

"Come for me," he commands, his forest-green eyes piercing into yours with an intensity that takes your breath away. 

It's overwhelming. With a cry of ecstasy, you shatter, waves of pleasure washing over you. Mephisto follows soon after, burying himself deep within you as he reaches his own release with a guttural groan. 

For a moment, you both lie there, panting and trembling in the aftermath. Mephisto's weight is heavy yet not unwelcome as he collapses on top of you.

As your breathing starts to slow, Mephisto lifts his head to gaze at you with half-lidded eyes, a sly grin playing on his lips. "My dear," he purrs, "I hope you don't think we're finished. The night is still young." 

With a snap of his fingers, the world around you blurs and shifts. Suddenly, you find yourself lying on a plush, king-sized bed draped in a blue canopy.

Mephisto towers above you, his forest-green eyes shimmering with a barely contained hunger. "Now," he growls, "we can truly indulge ourselves." 

Before you can catch your breath, he's on you again, his mouth hot and demanding against yours. His hands roam your body with renewed fervor, leaving trails of tingling sensation in their wake. You can feel the heat radiating off his skin. 

With a growl of impatience, Mephisto flips you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up and back against him. 

Mephisto's warm breath brushes against your ear, heightening your anticipation as he teases his firm length at your entrance, causing you to squirm with eagerness. In a sudden, intense thrust, Mephisto drives himself into you, eliciting a cry of delight and shock as your body adjusts to his size. He is unyielding, moving with a raw intensity that fells almost instinctual. His hands hold your hips firmly, directing your motions as he establishes the rhythm.

"Yes," he groans as he moves himself inside you, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure through both of your bodies. "That's it, my dear. Take it all." 

You feel yourself arching your back, pressing back against him, desperate for more of his insatiable need. Mephisto growls his approval, his grip on your hips tightening as he continues to ravage your body.

You moan as Mephisto's relentless rhythm drives you closer to the edge. His hands grip your hips tightly, claws digging into your flesh as he pulls you back to meet each powerful thrust. The room fills with the sounds of your shared pleasure - breathless gasps, low growls, and the rhythmic slap of skin on skin. 

"So perfect," Mephisto breathes, his voice deepened by exertion. "You take me so well, my dear." 

One of his hands snakes around your body, skilled fingers locating that sensitive bundle of nerves. You cry out at the heightened stimulation, your inner walls tightening around him. 

"That's it," he purrs. "Let me hear you. I want to hear every delicious sound you make." 

Your arms give way, and you fall onto the bed, your face buried in the silken sheets. Mephisto follows, enveloping his body around yours without slowing his relentless pace. His weight pins you down, the new angle allowing him to hit that perfect spot inside you with each thrust. 

"Mephisto," you moaned, lost in the haze of pleasure that was quickly overtaking you. His name rolled off your tongue like a prayer, and he seemed to respond to the sound of his name on your lips. 

"That's it," he panted, his breath hot in your ear. "Say my name again." 

You oblige him, unable to form any other words as ecstasy draws nearer with each thrust of his hips. "Mephisto!" the sound echoes off the walls of the dimly lit room. 

"_____," he groans, his breathing erratic now. "You feel so good, so tight." His words push you further towards the edge of sanity, your climax barreling towards you. 

"I... I'm going... to..." you panted, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you as Mephisto continued to thrust into you relentlessly. 

"That's it," he growled in approval, his words infused with raw hunger. "Come for me, my dear. Let go." 

His words are your undoing. With a piercing cry, you shatter beneath him, waves of intense pleasure crashing over you. Your body trembles and clenches around Mephisto as your orgasm rips through you. 

Mephisto growls in response, his thrusts becoming erratic. "Yes," he hisses, "that's it. Take all of me." 

With a final, powerful thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, his own release washing over him. You feel the heat of it filling you as Mephisto shudders above you, his breath coming in ragged pants. 

For a long moment, neither of you move, both trembling in the aftermath of your shared pleasure. Then, slowly, Mephisto withdraws from you, eliciting a soft whimper from your oversensitive body. 

He pulls you into his arms, rolling onto his side and drawing you close against his chest. His skin remains feverishly hot, but the warmth now feels comforting. You settle into his embrace, feeling completely exhausted. 

Once you’ve caught your breath, your eyes widen. I can’t believe I just had sex with Mephisto. Carefully, you sit up and glance around the interesting bedroom. My clothes are in his office, what do I do?

“Going somewhere, dear?” 

A wave of embarrassment slowly starts to wash over you. “…I should probably go home.”

Mephisto smirks as he pulls you closer, pressing you against him. “You agreed to stay with me during my heat,” he whispers, nipping playfully at your ear. “We’ll be here for a week, maybe two.”

[scorpiowritesnreads]

My Angelic Lover - Destiel (pt 1)

Pillow Fort

"Hey Dean?" Castiel asked. Dean turned around and focused on Castiel. Giving him his full attention.

"What's a pillow fort?" Castiel asked. He deeply wondered what the fascination was. It was a bunch of pillows and blankets. But the purpose baffled him as much as humanity did. Including his Dean. Dean wasn't his just yet but he loved this human more than others he had in the past.

"Ah. Pillow forts are for kids mostly but adults can enjoy them. It's a way to shut out the world and hide for a while. I used to do this with Sam and we would hide away from demons and monsters." Dean explained. "We can build one if you like?"

"Um... sure?" Castiel answered cautiously. He wasn't sure if it would be right to do this sort of fun despite Sam being possessed by Lucifer running around.

Dean saw the process of confusion and contemplation across Castiel's face. Dean said "We can take a break from trying to save the world by watching a movie and decompressing."

Dean wanted to do more with Castiel but deep down inside he knew the longing wasn't reciprocated. He longed to hold Castiel in his arms and kissed his forehead. He wanted to share his pies and burgers with Castiel as well. He never felt that way before in a long time. However reality knocked down his perfect illusion. Angels didn't fall in love with mortals. Even when they did bad things happened. God would strike it down in one way or another.

Castiel left because he wanted to get some fresh air. They had been stuck in the bunker obsessing with finding a way to save Sam.

He left the living room of the bunker and found the closet that had sheets. Returned to the living room and took the couch cushions and positioned them to be a fort-like structure and covered it with blankets. He went into the storage closet to find battery operated LED candles. He crawled in and placed them around the area in which they would lay down. He left to go find the projector from Sam's room.

"Sorry Sammy. I'm borrowing this. You aren't using it right now." He whispered in the vacant space that was Sam's room. Dean hoped that he would save Sam soon. He missed him. He was all he had left besides Bobby. They both died and came back and went through all sorts of hell. This was no different.

Castiel came back and saw the fort. Dean gestured for them to go inside. Cas crawled in and Dean followed.

"I see what you mean. This is very isolating. A little claustrophobic for me but I can deal with it." Castiel said as he noted his surroundings. The fort was sparsely lit.

They laid down and he put on a classic movie for them to watch. This felt right. Both secretly wished that this moment would last longer.

#castiel #destiel #dean #supernatural #fanfic

[lupus-venatici]

staring down at his hands awfully intently , as though something is deeply wrong . he’s barely able to pull a glove off as a deep , desaturated blue is revealed at his fingertips . he winces for a moment , shaking his head .

[kittenfangirl20]

Adam: I will never leave you because I have always loved you. You are my other half, I feel complete with you.

He remembered the day he saw Lucifer for the first time. He was so in awe of the angel that he fell in love with him. He had been told that as a man he must give a woman his seed so they could have babies. But the truth was that he wanted Lucifer give him his seed so he could have a baby with him. Even now in his more demonic form Adam was in awe of his angel and how handsome he was. He just nuzzled him to let him know that he would always be there for him.

Lucifer: You are so sweet, you make me think of Adam back when we were in Eden. I think you would like him so much.

Lucifer put Adam in his little rubber duck onesie. He took pictures and sent them to Charlie. He thanked her for giving him his little Adele. Charlie sent little heart emojis while saying how cute she was. Lucifer used his magic to make an image of Adam back when he was in Eden. Adam blushed a little seeing him back when he was naked. He also wondered if this was the version of Adam he wanted and not what he became. But he became surprised when as the image started to change, while he still retained muscles, parts of his body became soft and cubby. He sprouted gold wings and a halo appeared over his head. Then his dark blue Exorcist robes appeared on his body. The honey brown eyes became a Heavenly gold.

Lucifer: I lied when I said he really let himself go since Eden. I was in awe of how beautiful he had become.

He held out his hand to the image of Adam who took the hand and sat on Lucifer’s lap.

Lucifer: But this was what I truly want.

The image of Adam changed more. The halo was replaced by horns and a Queen’s crown. The ears became soft lamb like ears. The robes became a Queenly gown and clung to his body. A little fluffy tail appeared right about Adam’s butt while the wings turned a shimmery black. The feet peeking out from under the gown had hooves and fur on them.

Lucifer: My beautiful Queen of Hell.

Adam looked at the image and wished that was how he looked. He would willingly fall to be with Lucifer, in fact he would fall with a smile on his lips. The image of Adam leaned up to kiss Lucifer, but he disappeared as Lucifer sighed sadly.

Lucifer: We should sleep.

Adam got into bed with Lucifer and fell asleep. Adam woke before Lucifer and got out of the bed. He looked through the clothes and saw a small version of his Exorcist robes. He got out of the onesie and found a pen and some paper. He wrote a note which said “Luci, I am alive, please find me. I love you. Yours forever, Adam.” Adam then placed the note in Lucifer’s hand. He waited sitting by Lucifer hoping that he would see the note and see Adam in the robes and realize who he really was.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

(Dazzle Adam AU)

Adam woke up to everything hurting and everything looking giant to him. The last thing he remembered was being stabbed in the back multiple times and the last thing he saw was Lute. His eyes widened in horror at the bodies of his girls. The Exorcists that died were taken to Cannibal Town to be eaten. They were like his daughters and he cried thinking of the grisly fate that awaited their bodies. Adam ran out wanting to get away, he let out a little cry of horror when he saw his reflection in a window. He looked like one of those little goat dragon things Charlie had, one of which Lute had killed. But his fur was brown and the horns were like ones on his helmet. Though he had little red circles on his cheeks. He let out little roars as Susan picked him up.

Susan: What an ugly little thing.

Adam bit her hand hard and she dropped him. Before she could attack him, he ran from Cannibal Town. Once in an alleyway he started to tremble. Just then one of the archangels, Jophiel appeared. Adam liked her, she had always been kind to him.

Jophiel: Poor Adam, you have been cursed to be in this form until you receive a kiss of true love from your soul mate.

If Adam could talk he would have said he had no soulmate.

Jophiel: Don’t give me that look, you do have a soulmate.

She made an image of Lucifer appear. Adam felt longing in his heart.

Jophiel: If you get him to kiss you in a year, you will be an angel again. If not, you be in this form for an eternity.

She went away as more tears fell from Adam’s eyes. But then he heard someone approach, it was Charlie.

Charlie: Hello cutie, don’t cry, you can come with me.

Adam too sad and defeated, so he just let Charlie pick him up. Once at the hotel Charlie put him in a cute little maid dress as Razzle nuzzled him.

Charlie: What should we name you?

Just then Lucifer walked into the room.

Lucifer stopped when he saw the new little dragon goat friend, he didn't do this. Maybe this was an apology for taking that of a Hellborn?

Lucifer: And what do we have here?

Adam looked at Lucifer, for the first time really looking up at him and his heart melted a little. How the fuck was he ever going to manage getting him to give him a kiss? It probably even had to be on the lips too.

Maybe a forehead kiss would work? He hoped so, that's the more likely scenario that would ever happen if it did.

Charlie: I found this poor thing on my way back from Cannibal Town after I was checking in with Rosie. She was so scared.

She!?

Adam moved to look between his legs..... Yeah he was smooth there save for a small slit and butthole.

Not only is he fucking trapped like this but he's a fucking female version of it too? Why!?

He looked at Razzle who was still nuzzling him.

Adam: Don't get any funny ideas.

Charlie: I'm just trying to think of a name......

Lucifer looked at him for a little while, this new one kind of looked like Adam. Just thinking of the permanently departed angel made his chest get tight.

Lucifer: What about....... Adele? Like that singer?