#because there’s some good shit on there that nobody hears about so it gets cancelled

[plasmid-paladin]

What’s the point of getting invested in a streaming show anymore when it’s probably gonna get cancelled after one season anyway? 1899, reboot, night sky, and paper girls all fucking dead because not enough people watched them fast enough even though they were really well reviewed. I fucking hate the binge model of streaming so much

[r3starttt]

STREAMER | GAMER! ELLIE

M.list

Streamer! Ellie who designed everything for her account, all the emotes, the panel, everything.

Streamer! Ellie who also has the most weird but cute emotes ever.

Streamer! Ellie whose social media was extremely empty until she became super viral and started to get invited to big events and stuff so now she had to post everything related to all the collaborations and stuff she did.

Streamer! Ellie who lives on tik tok and reposts everything she sees.

Streamer! Ellie who gets in lots of troubles because she likes and repost everything on every social media before actually reading the posts properly.

Streamer! Ellie who somehow hasn’t got cancelled and always clarifies any polemic she gets it (yeah, the repost issue)

Streamer! Ellie who did a stream + vlog while she got new tattoos. She did some small ones, dinosaurs, kitties; just a bunch of random and colorful tattoos that her fans actually chose on Instagram a week before.

Streamer! Ellie who played a VR horror game and had to stop mid stream because she couldn’t take it anymore and she was making a mess in the room.

Streamer! Ellie who also got scared by her cat thousands of times while playing horror games and specifically didn’t stop cursing at him during the VR stream (got insulted by her fans for disrespecting the kitty duh)

Streamer! Ellie who dropped her food on the whole desk while trying to show the chat what she was eating because nobody believed she actually ate healthy food.

Streamer! Ellie who tried to do asmr as a joke but got praised for it because turns out she’s actually good

Streamer! Ellie who did a whole karaoke + playing the guitar stream

Streamer! Ellie who got an iPad and became an oficial iPad kid

Streamer! Ellie who accidentally filtrated her number on stream and later her personal ig account but didn’t care much about it

Streamer! Ellie who loves reading hate comments and hates back

Streamer! Ellie who likes all her edits, follows all her fan accs and interacts a lot with her fans. Who answers all comments in the most weird ways too and who always gives the public what they want.

Streamer! Ellie who dedicated a small part of stream to show her sketchbooks and talk about her process to draw and tuff and also gave lots of recommendations (made everyone fangirl again because she was so sweet)

Streamer! Ellie who always gets up mid stream to feed her cat because she always forgets and doesn’t realize until the chat remembers her or she hears him crying nonstop.

Streamer! Ellie who got to meet her favorite artists, influencers, whatever at the events she got invited to and always managed to convince them to record something real quick. Who also got recognized by them and asked to say hello to family members or friends from the artist (she’s pretty and funny, how can people not know about her or not like her duhhh)

Streamer! Ellie who does streams cooking (trying to) while she’s on the supermarket, driving. She’ll take advantage of anything.

Streamer! Ellie who got some legos for free after going viral of buying and building lots of them on stream

Gamer! Ellie who has an exaggerated amount of keyboards, all colors, sizes, sounds. And uses the most basic and ugly one (doesn’t like the fancy ones to get dirty)

Gamer! Ellie who has the most expensive huge setup

Gamer! Ellie who has the most cute but weird wallpapers in both of her computers, phone and iPad (also buys every from apple)

Gamer! Ellie who loves any cute game. If there’s anything cat, dog or dinosaur thing related on a game she’ll play it.

Gamer! Ellie who buys lots of skins on any game.

Gamer! Ellie who spends lots of money in games unless she can download shit for free (has got thousands of virus)

Gamer! Ellie who puts stickers everywhere and buys cute stuff to decore her consoles.

Gamer! Ellie who has sweaty hands and hates when her phone/console gets all hot and sticky.

Gamer! Ellie who always brakes the earphones, any type, any brand.

Gamer! Ellie who likes watching videos with random facts about the games and knows all the games lore and stuff.

Gamer! Ellie who’s secretly obsessed with games like candy crush and has super high scores.

Gamer! Ellie who buys game merch and uses it on her daily fits <3

[onevolon]

smile for the camera

Jack Mojave X F!reader

note: you take a picture you shouldn't have.

word count: 731

warnings: dark. angst. it's not in a desert but a forest. honestly idk what this is supposed to be lol

you can also read it on ao3.

masterlist

This was a journey from the start. Sure, it wasn’t the first time she witnessed someone being left at the altar. Crazier things happened at the weddings. It makes her wonder what made them finally snap and run away every time. Especially these two looked so in lovey-dovey. But now the groom is nowhere to be seen. Weird.

One thing that is more annoying than a bride bawling her eyes out though, when the wedding is canceled, nobody cares about what will happen to the employees or what they should do. Everybody is own their own.  

And that’s why now she is middle of the nowhere in a fucking forest with all of my camera equipment trying to find her way to her car. Environmentalist piece of shits forced everybody to park miles away from the wedding location to not disturb the ecosystem more than necessary blah blah…

If she wasn’t so fucking lost, she might have appreciated the sounds of the birds chirping, the smell of the pine tree and the wind on her hair. But right now, it was extremely irritating to say the least. The smell made her stomach turn after the food she inhaled before they can take it. The wind was making her shiver to her very bones and… Maybe she should distract herself by looking at the photos.

She starts to scroll through the photos. Look all those happy faces… Now it’s all for nothing.

Okay this doesn’t really work.

She could try and take a couple of photos of the damn birds for her portfolio.

Carefully walking around the bushes, she tries to allocate the said animals. It is soothing to hear this rhythmic sound of these creatures and…

Something else was there…

Someone was…

…Someone digging something?

Yeah, there was a figure to her left with a shovel. What in the hell…

Stupidly, she gets closer while continuously pushing the button on her camera.

A man with a long coat… in a cowboy hat. Long hair… Dirty skin. You didn’t recognize him from the wedding. Who the hell-

“Well, hello there.”

She freezes.

“Wanted to see something cool, sister?” he says innocently.

She can’t move a muscle. Not even talk.

“Not a talker, huh. You would get along with him, then.” He says and point to the ground.

She instinctively follows his gesture.

There is a man.

On the ground.

Not moving.

Is he-

“Wanna join him, doll-face?”

You can’t look away. Not only because you’re both in danger but… he looks… familiar.

“I bet he would like that, now wouldn’t you, perv?” he nudges the man’s head with his boots and the man’s face turns towards her.

Oh, he looks blue.

He’s for sure-

The groom.

He is the groom.

“Was having quite the fun with that little bridesmaid. I was jealous not gonna lie. Wanted to have a good old adventure to myself.”

He killed the groom.

“And now we all are here.” He looked to her, self-satisfied.

Her heart was about to burst.

“Lost, aren’t you?”

“I-“

“Who are you?”

She doesn’t answer.

He casually drops the shovel and pushes the groom to the hole in the ground.

“The great questions, sister, the essentials… Where are you from? Where you going?”

She again doesn’t answer, too occupied to discreetly try and find something to use it as a weapon.

He starts to throw the pile of dirt on top of the man.

“To be or not to be?”

“Huh?” she says, distracted by the sudden topic change.

“Another great question. To be or not to be? It always comes down to that, isn’t it?”

She doesn’t know what to say.

“You choose to be, sister. To be here.”

She shakes her head.

“Oh, yes, yes you did. “ He smirks.

She begins to tremble slightly.

“No? Why don’t you run then? You can run.”

“I can’t move.” She says stupidly.

“Sure you can. In fact, when I count to three, you will flee like you’ve never done before.” He says while patting now closed grave with the shovel, putting some leaves on top of it to cover.

She starts to tear up.

“One…”

A tear drops to her face.

“Two…”

She takes a step back.

“Two and a half…”

Hurriedly puts down her camera and other stuff down.

“Three!”

She sprints.

“Game on, sister! GAME. ON.”

He goes after her.

[netflixonyourcouch]

So much has been made of the Halsey response

Thank you Halsey, first and foremost, for an amazing album. I don't want that point to get lost by discussing what is admittedly the NOISE surrounding this album.

The main culprits: Pitchfork and Fantano. The long and short of it, for those who are unaware: both Pitchfork and Fantano cruelly and unfairly attacked Halsey's intentions, accusing her of essentially milking their illness for the album and exhibiting "main character syndrome" or some shit. There is no way around it, these were personal attacks, and designed to shock and make a statement against her instead of engage with the project in good faith.

So many people have come out on both sides to either support Halsey or defend Pitchfork/Fantano's right to criticism.

Let me tell you something. You white-washed, hipster ass, elitist ass motherfuckers who think indie music is so superior to pop music (and liking Charli's BRAT doesn't count, you bandwagon bitches) need to get a life. All of you. You're NOT the smartest in the room, you're not smarter than Halsey fans, you're not more cultured, more correct, or even more logical. You pride yourselves on that because you've already made up your mind about pop music and refuse to bend, and I'm here to tear down that smug sense of superiority.

You fucking chumps have the gall to say, "What? People aren't allowed to criticize music anymore" Blah blah blah. Stop going to one end of the extreme every fucking time someone wants to put your bullshit "criticism" in its place. You all sound like fucking Republicans lmfao, ignorant as fuck. Republicans cry about "free speech being cancelled" because they can't say racist shit anymore. Yall cry about criticism being "dead" because you can't openly denigrate pop stars anymore.

You can't say ignorant, close-minded, sexist, rockist bullshit and act like nobody is allowed to call it out. Genuine criticism ISN'T THE ISSUE. Petty, personal and short-sighted attacks on Halsey's character IS THE ISSUE. Until you stop at the stop sign and ACKNOWLEDGE THIS FACT, I don't wanna hear anything else about defending the "right to criticize." Present criticism in good faith and then we'll talk.

I can talk about this shit BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE. I used to run in the same little cliques as yall. I'm so glad I'm no longer like you fucking pricks anymore because you are all insufferable people. I feel frankly embarrassed that I was ever that pretentious and condescending and I pray that all of you wake up and understand the error of your ways. THERE IS STILL TIME, the irony is that your refusal to keep an open mind about pop music means that you're NOT the so-called "music experts" that you think you are. If you were true music experts you'd be experts about ALL MUSIC not just white people with guitars. Again, CHARLI DOESN'T COUNT. CARLY RAE JEPSEN DOESN'T COUNT, YOU SOUND LIKE THE WHITE PEOPLE THAT SAY THAT SAY THEY CAN'T BE RACIST BECAUSE THEY HAVE 2 BLACK FRIENDS. It's the joke about being US sports teams calling themselves "World Champions" when they are only playing in an American league. You're not an expert on "music" while simultaneously ACTIVELY IGNORING A BIG CHUNK OF MUSIC.

You're also attempting to outsmart all the backlash by saying "Just because Halsey talks about their sickness doesn't make it a great album!!!" Let me address that claim and then I'm done with your faux-intellectual fucks, who again I'd like to remind, are not as smart as yall think. Some of you cobbled a few more brain cells together, I'll give you that, and think that this is the ultimate "gotcha" but it's not. Let's start with the elephant in the room: 1. Many of you who are saying all this shit against Halsey HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD THE ALBUM YET. So until you listen to it, I'm not even entertaining any of your fucking arguments because it's coming from a place of literal ignorance. You don't even know what the album sounds like!! 2. If you DID listen to it, it's a strong chance you didn't digest it. NO I'm not saying it's this ultra challenging piece of work that's difficult to understand, I'm instead arguing you skimmed it, didn't listen closely enough or went in with a strong bias to where you're not even in the position to hear its greatness.

Yes, it's a technically right statement that simply talking about a deep or emotional topic doesn't automatically make a work of art great. The reason why that doesn't apply here is that she DID make a great album. I like her last album more but there's no denying that this is right behind it, and in some parts even better. Not every song is my favorite, but there's no way around it, there are some PHENOMENAL songs on here: I Believe in Magic, The Arsonist, The End, Dog Years, Ego, Darwinism, and Lonely is the Muse are all better than your standard indie singer-songwriter stuff.

Finally, I've seen this over and over again: People like to overapply the rules to artists they don't like. I've seen it with Taylor too, who I admittedly don't like, but people tend to be super uncharitable toward her too. You'd NEVER disparage Sufjan for talking about his struggles with Guillain-Barre or try to say, "Just because he talks about Guillain-Barre doesn't make it a great album!" It simply wouldn't happen. So stop this rules-for-thee-but-not-for-me hypocrisy bullshit and try to get a fucking clue, please.

In short. I won't sit silently anymore as people in the indie community try to self-assure themselves that Halsey fans are the crazy ones for calling out cheap, personal attacks under the guise of "criticism." Yes, I'm sure you all are assuring yourselves that "stan twitter" is the problem and "people can't criticize music anymore" but I need all of you to wake up and get a clue, THERE IS STILL TIME, if you love music try actually opening your mind for a change and LOVE MUSIC instead of parading around your indie music bias as if it's the only correct take there can be. Try to get some more pop music in your diet before you criticize pop music. I wouldn't expect someone who likes two hip-hop artists to give good constructive criticism on hip-hop any more than I'd be able to give good constructive criticism on a jazz album just because I like Thundercat and Flying Lotus.

This was long-winded and aggressive but I'm sorry, I'm tired of pretending it's okay that hipster motherfuckers do this shit. I can't do it anymore.

[aura-acolyte]

Actually, you know what, lets start discourse. Hoenn cities ranked:

Lilycove. Basically my home base, and my two favorite places (Sharkie's Magikarp Sanctuary and the Aqua-Magma Conservatory) are nearby.

Mossdeep: I have a lot of memories there, some good and some bad, but its all cancelled out because Tate and Liza are there and they are objectively the best gym leaders.

Sootopolis: City built in a crater. Real cool. Loses points for having Groudon and Kyogre trapped under it.

Pacifidlog: You built a whole town on the water! How cool is that!

Meteor Village: Gotta give a shoutout to Z's hometown. Great place to learn about Ancient Hoenn stuff.

LaRousse City: Home of the Battle Frontier. Kickass in general. Had to help out in a hurricane there once.

Lavaridge Town: Still think its insane to build a town next to a volcano but it does have Flannery.

Dewford Town: I know, I know, there's not a lot there but its where I met Steven for the first time. Technically also where I met Zinnia depending on what you count as "Meeting."

Fortree City: I'm gonna be honest, I'm pretty sure this city is every 8 year old's dream. Or it was when I was a kid, at least. Not sure how into treehouses modern kids are.

Slateport City: I love the sea and I love port cities. It reminds me of all the best parts of Goldenrod but without any of the shit parts (you know, like Team Rocket and my bio father). Plus, if you hang around the market enough you can hear all sorts of stories from trainers from all over the globe.

Verdanturf Town: There's not a lot interesting here but I gotta give a shoutout to my boy Wally's home.

Mauville: Mauville is problematic for obvious reasons but also its really fucking cool. Plus Wattson's there.

Littleroot Town: Finally getting around to my Hometow. Well, my Hoenn Hometown. Its nice and quaint and my Uncle and Mom live there so, you know, cool.

Petalburg: It's only this low on the list because I refuse to give Norman a break.

Oldale Town: Booooorrrrriiiinggg! I'm sure the people are nice but its such a boring town. I legit have more interesting memories from Route 103 than Oldale.

Ever Grande: Its a League City so there's not much going on there during the off season but its absolutely bustling during League Season. Sometimes I like to watch the League Matches on the big screens they have. Nobody's beaten Steven yet but a few have gotten close.

Falarbor Town: Hmm... a town created for the purpose of mining meteors to study which directly led to the death of Zinnia's sister. I wonder why I have a negative opinion of this place.

Rustboro: Capitalism ho!

Some of these are arbitrary, most of them aren't. Bye!

[jayflrt]

this is long sorry 😅

saw you guys talking about fanservice and i have some opinions about it. for starters i do think they were told to up it since members who didn’t really used to partake in it are doing so now. why i have no idea (i actually have a theory about it being because they’re all technically legal now, however that’s another convo) but it’s definitely more than it used to be. that being said i feel like it’s a thing with enha too. they have never been the type to tell us no, unfortunately, so if they think that the y/n type fanservice is what people want then they’re gonna continue doing it. and it is what people want sadly. since their debut they’re priority has been making fans happy even if it’s not what they themselves particularly want. it’s an issue i have with them actually because they need to start saying no and setting boundaries 😭 they are kind and people use that kindness to get whatever they want.

next is that their fanservice still isn’t that bad. it’s more than it used to be most definitely, but in comparison to some other bg’s? they are still relatively tame. it’s the fanbase that makes everything so extreme. like i have absolutely no issue with fanservice, but i cannot stand the reaction to it. not only does it generally make things seem more intense than they actually are, but sometimes it makes the guys look bad? like ik that people write him this way a lot on here (lowkey have a bone to pick with some authors and how they only portray him this way as if he has no actual personality traits), but the fact that people have genuinely called heeseung a fuckboy, cheater, playboy, and toxic as if they know anything about his personal relations? the way that’s he’s discussed you would never guess that off stage he a hopeless romantic loser (affectionate) 😭. and even outside the members that people have a tendency to say whatever they want about (heejake) it’s gotten bad. hoon for example has done a little more fanservice then he used to, but that doesn’t mean logical thinking should be going out the window. we all know that weverse translations are not accurate so why were there multiple hit tweets of him allegedly saying he wants to sleep with a fan, when in reality he was talking about a damn phone lockscreen? and nobody bothered to correct themselves? 😭

i partially blame how bad things have gotten on how young a lot of the fandom is and how they don’t know how to find a balance with things. because imagine my surprise seeing people call enha the most fanservicey group they’ve ever seen lol. y’all ever heard of vixx?

you guys also mentioned send off and dear lord. i think that was the true y/n takeover of the fandom. once people realized that enha genuinely like their fans and find interest in hearing about their lives ex. them asking us to post about our days on wv, watching engene vlogs, etc. they absolutely ran with it. i have been on entwt since enha debuted and never in my years have i seen so many people obsessed with the prospect of enha perceiving them? my entire tl got taken over by people making the same repetitive jokes about the boys being cheaters and selfies. like what do you mean we have celebrated 4 birthdays with jungwon and have never had an issue with canceling the selca day until this year and it was “oh but it’d be a cute surprise!” like you know what would be even cuter? him seeing cute sweet birthday messages under his tags and not your faces 🤗

anyways my main point is that while fanservice has increased it’s not the boys’ fault that things have gone to shit lol

i have noticed that sunghoon's been doing a lot more fanservice than before !! i remember i'd always say it's such a good day to be a jayhoon stan bc they never do fanservice 😭😭 but now hoon's playing up the parasocial relationship hard 😡 i do think it's honestly just belift seeing how their fanbase is like and trying to cater towards them more. since fanservice and the y/n treatment works then that's what they're gonna keep doing to retain their growth. but yeah i totally agree that i hope they can set more boundaries :// some of the fancalls feel so uncomfortable to watch because i feel like they're being held against their will 😭

that's also true!! i think engenes have a history for exaggerating things and making things more extreme than they need to be 🤧 like that fansign where people asked them if they're okay with their gf going to the movies with other guys or texting other guys LOL they definitely knew what was up and knew we'd like to hear some jealousy so they catered to that !! omg yeah i've heard some atrocious things they've been called and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable bc if that was being said about a random stranger,, i wouldn't like that person at all!! or i'd think they had incel mentality 😭 the fact that those get pushed on enha def feels weird but in terms of fanfiction i do think people are just writing them based on a trope, so i give authors the benefit of the doubt that they don't actually think that way !! but yeah the tweets that make them out to be sleazy....... like we don't know these men at all so these are very weird assumptions to make about people

the fate tour was definitely the rise of the y/n stans 😭😭 like EVERYTHING became about interactions and everything became a selfie trend (which i don't mind as long as it's harmless but having ensd on jungwon day???) but yeah idk if people realize it but the focus is slowly shifting from stanning enha as a group for their music and artistry to stanning them because they're boyfriend material and give their fans the y/n treatment 😔

[heybaetae]

I hope this doesn't sound rude because I don't want to sound rude: I'm really glad people on tumblr are more open-minded and 'normal' about being in a fandom or multiple fandoms. I see so much hate and toxicity on twitter, and I'm sure it happens on tumblr too but it kind of gets lost here (at least to me). And among the people I follow, nobody will bitch about someone being a multi or start fanwars to then blame someone for not supporting X artist enough. I'm sure there are people like that here too... But I feel like in general tumblr is more chill at least that's what I experienced in fandoms (bts is my first kpop fandom though).

this isn’t rude! it’s refreshing to hear someone point it out without being so harsh, actually. last week when a lot of new people joined this site, i immediately started seeing tweets from people already talking shit about the way people navigate their bts fandom experience on this site in comparison to twitter. it did not take long for people to notice that some of the ridiculous crap that people try to cancel or harass each other over on that app daily simply doesn’t occur on here because this is a blogging website, not a social media app, contrary to popular belief. tumblr has been around for years and has been such a massive part of fandom culture since long before stan twitter started growing more. and while, of course, no platform is completely devoid of toxicity and this site is quite notorious for its misuse of the anonymous option…the abuse you can experience on twitter just for breathing is unmatched. these websites were designed for different uses and some people like myself have literally grown up on here, spent time in several fandoms, and shared so much of their life and creativity on here. so one would be hard pressed to think they can join this site for the first time in 2022 and think they’re gonna manipulate the way people use it up to their twitter standards. it’s just not gonna work. this site has been dying for a long time and i think the communities left have managed to build a comfortable space for themselves with a lot less discourse or drama and people wanna keep it that way. it’s not “being boring” or having a superiority complex like i’ve seen people call it. it’s just that people from other platforms are gonna have to relearn the fact that fandom (in general) is much bigger than just one app and people engage with it very differently across many platforms. it doesn’t make anyone lesser of a fan or more superior than anyone else. it is possible to have nuanced conversations, for critique to be subjective instead of a personal attack (most of the time), and just because people on here aren’t constantly talking about things like voting or streaming…it doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it. stan twitter has made it very difficult to enjoy being a fan sometimes. it’s not treated like a job here. it’s just fun and good vibes as long as you curate your dashboard to your liking and do what YOU want, not what everyone else tells you to do. keep it healthy.

[aliferous-ly]

I know nothing of DSMP but I would love to hear how the ending/story/characters/creators were mishandled if you’d like to rant/ramble

OKAY.

I didn't watch the ending. I barely knew the ending was happening, because by the time it happened I was so disenchanted with the whole dsmp that I didn't really care. so I heard through the grapevine (Tumblr dashboard) that it was like.. everything blows up we're starting over and everyone's memories are wiped.

Which. Is a choice. But is a particularly horrible choice when one of the people roleplaying.. died, and would therefore "not be remembered" (with no new content). The people close to this person confirmed that dsmp 2 would continue technos legacy and that they wouldn't forget him, but the fact that it needed to be said in the first place is just. An awful feeling. like, none of techno’s actions would have any bearing on dsmp2...?

So fuck the ending, who even cares about it. The beauty of the dsmp is supposed to be the many interlocking characters, since they're all roleplaying to have fun with this comedy/serious rp. But the creators (read: the main creators slash writers of the arcs) would often ignore other creators on the dsmp and their role. Niki frequently was talked over and ignored. Her and puffy planned a dsmp lore stream only to cancel it because dream scheduled a server-wide event for the same day (literally the day before). eret regularly planned lore and streams, but received rare replies in the discord. they were the first villain character and received so many death threats for the arc that really kick-started the serious storylines, and then their character was mostly forgotten by the other big creators. I understand the improv of rp, but the streams started becoming more and more planned, and eret wanted to be in them! And as the original traitor, having her as a staple would have been INTENSE. but she just kinda.. dropped off. Anything to do with the egg was vastly considered uninteresting and therefore lesser to the "main" characters, which is, of course, tommy and dream. which sucked because I didn't care about tommy and dreams storyline and I liked everyone else's 😭😭 (this is more neg for the community than the creators, but whatever)

Another thing I hated was when the creators would joke about how cringe people getting invested in Minecraft RP is. stuff like that. because it shows that at a certain level they're ashamed of creating it? They're embarrassed of it. And so they disregarded their audience and fucked up the storyline and now dsmp 2 is never happening because who's gonna watch it? their scorned audience? like holy shit, guys, you were getting 200k viewers a stream because people liked the story. people like stories!!! the medium doesn’t MATTER.

Like.. okay. There's some really good characters in the dsmp. Schlatt, I think, had the best character, because he was cohesive and had an arc -- he entered as a villain against wilbur and tommy, was further corrupted by power, physically crumbling from his poor choices, was super horrible to quackity which set up quackity’s arc & insecurities... and his death was interesting! nobody killed him, he just succumbed to his own problems. I still think techno is a good character, because he stuck to his thought processes and morals (which was basically, governments = bad, people = good. with a dash of extremely violent inclinations). Whether or not you liked him. His problem was his innate existence as unkillable (technoblade never dies, he won a battle against the whole server, etc), because then it can get tedious, but he'd been planning to have cyberknife the Government Lover to counteract this (god, I miss him).

Dream is... Dream, I guess. Sam has a good character, very nice corruption arc (everyone literally hating him in his chat was annoying though. Like guys, you're in sam's chat, you gotta root for SAM. go to Tommy's stream if u wanna be a little bitch). also sam’s arc had everything that dream apologists wanted with dream’s character, lol. dream had no regrets and was a horrific abuser. sam started good and slowly corrupted to evil through “the ends justify the means” choices, which is FASCINATING, because by the end he was a mess of ethics and trauma. I love Niki's arc, but I wish she could have had more closure with Wilbur, because he was huge for the beginning of her arc. Hannah, bad, ant, and punz had this super cool thing with the egg (bad and skeppy was WILD) and I loved the fantasy aspects and that it didn't take 4 fucking hours to do the climax, with like 1 hr of actual action. (the egg was like... a fungal infection came to the dsmp and infected various characters to do its bidding by promising whatever they want most. and bad wanted to be with skeppy, who is his actual in-canon soulmate, since bad’s CANON LIVES were tied to skeppy’s. meaning he never lost a canon life unless skeppy did. fellas...)

I guess overall it's like... the main creators didn't communicate and plan enough with many of the people who wanted lore and arcs. Foolish, quackity, purpled, Sam, and Charlie did really well at the end, I loveddd the whole purpled defecting and shit. charlie’s arc was incredible. and they COMMUNICATED in the discord to make this happen. 

Dream, sapnap, and George just had no handle on the storyline they were trying to construct. And it's their server. They needed an ending. Something satisfying, cathartic, something where tommy finally gets the chance to heal which might only happen alongside dream's death-- and the servers getting blown up by a nuke okay sure that works too I guess.

I’m so, so upset by the lack of happy ending for tommy. like, the cc wanted to move away from dsmp, so they could have written an ending for the character and then he could ease away from the server and lore. it didnt have to happen Like That.

Also, if dream wanted to play a different character, then Do That. He could pretend to be a shape shifter who liked the original dreams form, or the original dream could be a shape shifter who copied dreamXD (the literal god of the server, which I feel like was not mentioned more that foolish had regular interactions with them?), or just, anything. but the constant evil!dream abusing tommy was getting a bit much. it was just never ending.

AND. THIS ISNT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE STUPID FUCKING THREE LIVES THING.

Like.. they had three "canon" lives. This happened because the original roleplay was Not Serious, it was just them fooling around. They would kill each other to steal their stuff. Everyone died all the time. And I don't remember the specific inciting incident.. it might be as far as tubbo getting executed on stage? but suddenly This Death is far more important than all the Other Deaths, so they have to separate them and add some significance, but tubbos back now and technos not apologizing which is a whole thing (oh nooo techno didnt save tubbo from being executed despite not receiving any communication), so tubbo is alive, so this death is Significant (but he's still alive) so. three canon lives. Which is dumb, because the only thing (seemingly) signifying a canon life loss is that it's literally written into the plot. (Which, jack manifold dying to techno and then falling into a glitch and respawning, to then claim that he lost his third canon life but through pure determination to kill tommy/techno crawled back out of hell, is metal as fuck). which takes out a lot of the improv, makes things a lot more staged. But it's canon, in the lore, that sometimes people die and they don't lose a canon life. It's just.. so bizarre. (Phil having one life to show that he's from a hardcore world is also, however, very cool).

it makes the whole thing a bit meta, using terms like “canon life” within the actual roleplay. the only bandage I could think of would be coming up with unique ways each specific character could die. Like, tubbo can only be killed via explosives/fireworks. Tommy and Dream can die by axe. techno’s is unknown, until tubbo infiltrates phil’s house and finds information that techno can be killed by being crushed. this would cause some other brand new problems, though.

Anyway. Wilbur's plots were well written, but disregarded Fundy (his canonical son) and mostly Niki, too (who he brought into the server). George obviously didn't give a shit about lore, bc he was never there. Sapnaps lore is meh, even though he has, arguably, one of the most interesting relationship webs of the server (his best friend became this abusive pos, his parents are skeppy and bad, he’s off-and-on dating quackity and karl, both of which have their own crazy shit going on. god, i didnt even talk about karl). Tommy's was very well done even though I personally didn't like his character.

Like... These people just didn't know what the fuck they were doing. Which could have been fine, if they didn't try to capitalize the fuck out of the views lore streams could bring while also ridiculing their audience for liking this sort of thing, and then attempted to tie it together into some sort of ending to the tommy / dream arc. Like, new arcs can happen, sure, but things have to end! They have to!

Honorable mention for ponk who regularly streams earlier than I watch but consistently was on the dsmp. He kept that shit alive. He was the og. His tree jumpstarted the lore. Much love for ponk and many wishes for future successes for that man.

Also it was really weird how the dsmp was primarily white men because it originally was just dream and his friends, which obviously is fine ur not gonna intentionally diversify your minecraft server for friends, but after people started pointing out that most everyone being added was a white man and the only defense was that it's dream and his friends became.. thinly veiled. Because he started adding people that hes not like, close friends with, but they were also white men. Like I'm so sorry Michael mcchill I love you and your energy is fantastic but this is about you and manitreed and foolish and and and. There were like 30 people on the server and like 6 poc. maybe 6 women. (Shout-out to Tina, lmfaooo).

idk. it’s a storyline that was wonky and weird at its base, so the viewers were willing to give it the benefit of the doubt for a lot of things, because we knew that it was improv and sometimes things dont go your way. and they had this massive, growing, beautiful thing at their fingertips. and wilbur said “yeah i’m not writing this arc” and communication became nonexistent and everything collapsed. the server literally NUKED ITSELF. OK . holy shit.

that being said i immensely enjoyed my time in the dsmp fandom. it helped me through covid, it inspired me, i’ve written quite a bit of fic for it. i loved the dsmp. there are aspects that i still love, and will love forever. but holy shit. we were not treated well.

[hana]

*sigh* i’m blogging

do you remember that tweet from 2020, or maybe 2016, that was like 

“i don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about other people”

? i feel like’ve ricocheted off of an attempt to explain why one should care about others every 6 months, my entire adult life.

my pattern of approach has been to try reading some ethics text or another for a few weeks, with growing embarrassment about my search for a concrete answer to something that i should just fucking get (as a human, because it’s not something that needs to be proven to be done), until i finally surrender theory for a direct-action nonanswer like buying groceries for old people. 

it’s honestly not hard to get it and just do it. i’m sure this feeling is part of why some people do crazy shit like eat vegan, volunteer at hospice facilities, or go to med school to work in the baby ER. i think leaving it unexplored is fine, possibly even better than fine, because it would really suck to discover something that puts you off altruism. but, like, how can one resist thinking about it?

personally, my “reaching” of “maturity” has been the result of haphazardly staking out social and ethical boundaries that align with “values” i’ve found, inherited, or inherited but thought i found (secret third type). when i demonstrated to myself that i could pick them up and move them with me, throughout different social contexts, like a crinoline defining the shape of my character, i actually did feel quite mature. but i’m actually hugely naive and toddler-like in almost every way, even those in which i feel accomplished.

i’m kinda old-ish now (some scoff, some nod as if i am brave), and i’m not so easily embarrassed by myself any more, which is the first blush of boomer ruin, so i was thinking i could write about what i think, as i think it, publicly, on the internet. it sounds fucking insane as i type it.

although i loved reading smart adult’s blogs in the early 2000s, it is my firm opinion that nobody should ever post. horrifyingly, some of my smartest friends do it now. if it’s my fate now, as an adult, to debase myself, why not do it up?

i’m tagging everything i post with #longspoon, so i can: a) easily delete it all when i get embarrassed or cancelled; b) (with hubris) tag it all for RSS; c) (hubris fading to trepidation) keep this blog organized if i ever post other types of things.

why “long spoon”?

before i explain this, i want to just say 2 things. 

that i don’t buy “heaven” or “hell” as scenarios. i believe only hell is real, we are all living in it right now, and it’s actually not as bad as you hear (but it still sucks a lot).

that this will not be brief so take a bathroom break now.

ok, that said: the long spoon thing is an allegory/parable/nugget of story-wisdom in many cultures around the world. see this chicago tribune headline:

not the onion.

there isn’t a single parable-form telling of it online that doesn’t reek of clinically uncool self-help language. here’s my version:

basically, imagine a banquet table laid with the most succulent soup-feast imaginable. we’re talking stew, soup dumplings, matzo ball soup, pot pie filling, everything good and hot you can eat with a spoon. but the people seated at this banquet are gaunt and starving. they are unable to eat the soup, because the spoons they’ve been given are too long to reach to their own mouths. 

here you might ask, “why not simply choke up on the spoon handle so it functions as a shorter one?” shut up, and get out of my temple, that’s why! for some reason they cannot do that. neither can they reach the soup with their bare hands, or faces. maybe they get a few bites that way, but it doesn’t really work to nourish them. 

“but why do they have these impractical spoons?” here is the moment where jesus or buddha or lord siddhartha twists his nasty little face into a grinch smile because you’ve asked him just the question he was hoping for. the spoons are not supposed to be used for feeding oneself. they aren’t meant to be used that way. in the 90s, don norman would have passed by and pointed out that the spoon’s long handle is clearly an affordance which telegraphs its purpose*. (nowadays he is either cancelled or explaining that it is actually called a signifier and an affordance is something else, thus justifying his book’s sustained $30 price tag.)

the guests at this banquet are too fucking selfish and hangry to read affordances. they do not understand that they are meant to use their long-handled spoons to feed the person across the table from them, who in turn is meant to feed them. i don’t think anyone is seated at the head or foot of the table. if so, they have extra special long spoon handles which are arched in some manner. this is not a fun banquet.

sometimes, in the parable version, the prophet and the idiot do a drive-by of a similar banquet where everyone’s actually having a great time and eating their fill because they figured out how to use the spoons. obviously that’s meant to be heaven, the one i described above is hell, and bill engvall goes “here’s your sign.”

for our purposes, we’re gonna stay away from that. i don’t think the heavenly version of the banquet exists. it’s more an architectural rendering of how a long-utensil-style banquet could potentially work, given enough budget. 

i am naming these posts after the long spoon because, although i endeavor to pick the long spoon up and carry a precarious sip of soup to the lips of my fellow man, i recognize that in my human condition i am probably too stupid to use it right. i think about this often, and i wish to think about it more deeply, so i will write to pursue that wish. 

[chainelunaire]

how lov smells like

shigaraki

he smells somewhat sweet, which you don’t expect at all. he smells like bubblegum, strange mix of cotton candy and fresh apples. it’s not a sickening sweet scent, rather nice one. nobody including him knows why, because his shower gel is like typical men shit, so it’s a secret to everyone. he doesn’t use anything more than that, no perfumes or such. he’s kind of aware of how he smells like because everyone tends to get closer to him whenever league seats together, and it drives him crazy. sometimes he smells like plastic when he spends a lot of time in his room. sometimes it’s something more dusty. he never smells like blood, which is unusual for lov members, but kinda explainable by the nature of his quirk.

dabi

his natural scent is terrible, and he knows that. he spends a lot of time in the morning trying to get rid of it by cleaning himself over and over. he’s already a clean freak, and whenever he hears the smell it just drives him up to the wall. he would’ve never tell that to anyone even under death sentence, but he’s kind of ashamed of it. he’s aware he reeks burnt flesh, and it’s constant, it brings everyone to throw up, him included. so he actually does a lot to hide it, he cares about that more than anyone in the league. usually after all his shenanigans he smells okay, kind of typical men shit, those volcano rage deodorants or something. the thing is, he runs so hot, any scent doesn’t last long on him. again, he wouldn’t tell that to anyone ever, but he’s suffering because of it, and everyone around him also does. compress was the most subtle about it and kind of helped him to find another options to just cancel his scent alltogether, so now for the most of times he doesn’t smell like anything at all, which is odd, but still better than before.

toga

you woud think she smells nice, flowers and candies? wrong, because she reeks blооd and steel. she likes to put on a perfume every now and again, but she has a very...eccentric taste, so it might be something sweet and spicy and also smelling like pure blооd. she also likes the smell of salt, she likes how strong of a scent it is. her room smells nice though, something fresh and light and clean. she also very much enjoys the scent of a newly changed bed linnen sheets.

spinner

he smells straight up nice, something warm and fuzzy, it reminds you of a sparkling heat and a summer sun. you can never clearly tell, what exactly he smells like, but it’s a really, really enjoyable scent. his room smells awful tho, because he’s nasty like that.

twice

he smells like a typical dude who discovered his favourite perfume in 8th grade and hadn’t changed since then. considering the situiation, he smells nice, especially when put against someone like dabi or even shigaraki sometimes. he smells like wood and salt, and even if he himself prefers something fresh and strong, it only gets warmer on him, which actually suits him better. doesn’t care about smell that much, but can’t handle the thought someone might think he stinks.

compress

he smells rich. even with the cheapest shit he owns, he himself smells rich, and he likes that. he likes strong and heavy scents, which may last a long time on him. he also likes sweeter scents, something with tabacco in it or vanilla in some form. he makes every scent look good actually, it’s just his natural ability. his room also smells the nicest, it’s the coziest of all. very big essential oils enjoyer. he actually knows a lot about the impact of it on the health and shit, so he kind of helps others with headaches and insomnia by that. 

kurogiri

he smells like freezing water, that one you see on a winter day, when the air is drizzling and it’s so, so cold, air almost tasteful in your mouth. it’s kind of sweet, but not really, more in a subtle way. he smells very fresh, almost freezing, it might tingle your nose a bit. when he’s angry, he smells like smoke and sparks and fireplace, and you can never put a finger on how he changes it so easily.

[allthingschrisevans]

our feelings are mutual

pairing: andy barber x reader

warnings:  love/hate relationship?, two curse words were mentioned, bad writing (biggest warning of all lol)

word count: 1,5k 

summary: you’re andy barber’s assistant but you seem to get the feeling your boss doesn’t really like you that much, or maybe he does?

a/n: let’s just pretend andy is single in this one, so laurie and jacob don’t exist 

italics = thoughts, flashbacks

read part two here :)

Andy Barber. The majority saw him as this incredibly handsome, smart and strong man. You thought the same thing, before you met the real Andy Barber. A heartless and unappreciative workaholic who had zero understanding for anyone or anything.

Ever since becoming his employee you felt like he couldn't stand you. Fair enough you couldn't stand him either. The difference is that you had every right to, he didn't. He was the one who ruined your chance of being promoted, thinking you weren't ready. You always gave 100% of yourself. You completed any task in record time and were always available, even after your working time ended, so why wouldn't you be ready?

You had to cancel plenty of dinners with friends, even dates with guys because Andy thought him never stopping work meant nobody could. As a matter of fact, you were convinced “freetime” wasn't part of his vocabulary. He worked 24/7, work was all his life consisted of.

Not that you didn't love your job but unlike Andy you had a work life balance. You were a hard worker but also enjoyed relaxing, having fun and letting yourself focus on something other than your job.

Lost in your thoughts you didn't even hear your name being called.

"Y/N?" Andy repeated while standing in the door frame of your small office.

"I'm sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. How can I help you?" you asked before looking up at him.

"Yeah. I noticed that. This is not the best place to be daydreaming though." he said before shaking his head and continuing "I need the files of Mrs. Morgan's case as soon as possible.“

"Got it. I'll get them to you in no time" you said before smiling a bit trying to be polite, when in reality you just thought what an asshole.

He just nodded and returned back to his office which was opposite of yours.

Seconds later your phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Oh, and call Mrs. Morgan and remind her of today's meeting?" Andy said through the phone.

"Consider it done." you replied "Anything else?"

"No……Thank you" Andy quickly said before hanging up the phone.

You were taken back by the sudden 'thank you' since you rarely heard him say that.

After two and a half hours you finally collected all documents Andy needed. Just as you were about to give him the file you heard a knock on your door which made you look up.

"Simon, hey what's up?" you asked seeing your friend in the doorway.

"Lunch time girl. I'm starving come on." he replied pointing to his stomach signalizing his hunger.

You chuckled at his comment "Alright. Let me just drop these off and we can go".

Making your way towards Andy's office you knocked on the glass door before stepping into his office going towards where his desk was.

"Here's the file you requested. Mrs Morgan has been reminded she'll be here at 3 pm." you said while handing him the file.

"Perfect." he said while taking the grey folder from you.

"I'll go get some lunch. I'll be back in about an hour. If that's okay. Should I get you anything?" you asked.

"A coffee would be nice. Other than that, I'm good. " Andy replied after looking up at you nodding slightly.

Taking that as a que to leave you nodded back and made your way towards Simon who was waiting for you.

"Having a hot boss must make work so much easier. I wouldn't get shit done though. I'd be too distracted staring at him. I mean just look at him...ugh he's so hot. You're officially winning at life, sis. I'm stuck with fucking Peter who spits like a fountain when he speaks." Simon said not taking a breath.

"Yeah, no he is a complete nightmare, Simon. Guess what. Today was the first time he thanked me for something. He shows zero emotion, like a robot. " was the only thing you could reply before Simon cut you off.

"But a hot robot though. I'd do anything to be in your shoes. Those eyes, the suit and the beard. Hot damn. I'd just drool all day long" Simon said while being all heart eyes.

"You are crazy." you were in disbelief at Simon's comments.

Everyone was head over heels with Andy Barber which didn’t really make any sense to you. You had to admit he was a handsome man but that‘s about it. He was arrogant and had no empathy. Giving orders that you just had to follow otherwise you would lose your job. Even if you‘re in the middle of something Andy expects you to drop it all and focus on whatever task he has for you. Whatever it is, calling a client, getting files ready, bringing him coffee, scheduling appointments, you had to do it all. Maybe you overreact sometimes, after all you are his assistant and that‘s what assistants are supposed to do, right?

In the meantime, Simon and you reached the cafeteria, where other colleagues were already enjoying their meal. Almost everyone, except for Andy of course.

——————

After chatting with your co-workers a bit, it was time to get back to work. On your way out you quickly grabbed a cup of coffee for Andy. Simon and you both walked back parting your ways as you reached the floor your office was in.

"Go get Daddy Barber his coffee before he gets mad." Simon said winking at you.

You just rolled your eyes letting out a little chuckle.

Shortly after, you reached Andy's door knocking before entering "Here's your coffee, Mr. Barber."

"Thank you. Y/N." you were ready to head back to your office when Andy spoke again.

"Y/N, wait."

Great. I bet he's not happy with the coffee. What is it this time, too much sugar? Wrong mug?

Turning around you looked at him expectedly.

"Mr. Logan won't be able to fly out here, apparently there's been an issue with his flight and the next one won't leave until next month. So-" Andy said straightening his tie.

"So, you need me to book a hotel for you. Got it. How long do you plan on staying?" you asked accidentally interrupting him.

"No. Let me finish. We have to get out there. I need you to come with me." Andy said.

"Me?" you asked slightly shocked.

"Yes. You are my assistant and working on this and other cases with me, if I recall correctly?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes, I was just not expecting that, to be honest. When should I be there?" you asked while looking at him.

"I know it's quite short term, but we'll have to leave tonight so we can get to the appointment at 11 am tomorrow." Andy said scratching his beard.

"Tonight? I’ll try to get a flight for tonight but I-“

"You are coming with me. Didn't I just say that?” Andy looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry. That sounds good. I mean is fine with me." you replied. "So how long are we staying, so I can book the hotel?"

"Simon's got it covered. No need to worry about that." Andy said while opening his laptop.

"Simon?" you asked confused.

"Yes. Simon. Peter's assistant. Are you okay, Y/N?" he paused for a second. “I thought you might need some time to pack. I've got your schedule for today cleared so you can leave after getting all the files for Mr. Logan together" Andy said.

"But Mrs. Morgan she-"

"I've got it, Y/N just please don't forget Mr. Logans folder" Andy said a slight smile plastered on his face.

"Okay." was the only thing you could get out.

What the hell was happening? In all these months you were working for Andy you've never had your schedule cleared off by him. He insisted on having you at every meeting, now you were off 4 hours before you were supposed to be? And he suddenly seemed to be so nice?

______

You quickly collected all the needed documents for Mr. Logan's case. You grabbed your coat and bag before heading to Andy's office where you dropped off the folder.

"This is everything related to the case. I'll be heading out now. Unless you need something else?" you asked holding your bag in your hands looking down at Andy who sat at his desk, raising his head.

"No, that's all. Our flight will be taking off at 9 p.m. I'll pick you up at around 7:30 so we get there on time." Andy said taking you by surprise.

"Oh, that's fine. I can get there myself. You don't have to pick me up. Just send me the address and I'll be-" you tried saying before being cut off.

"Why make yourself any trouble when you're on my way anyway? I'll give you a call to let you know I'm there, just be ready by 7:30."

"Okay, thank you. See you at 7:30." you said hesitating for a short moment before turning on your heels leaving his office. You suddenly noticed Andy’s eyes following you, when he noticed you looking at him he quickly turned his gaze back to the screen in front of him.

"What just happened?" you thought to yourself...

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my new series. ❤️

Please tell me what you think and whether I should continue writing this. Thank you for reading this I love you all so much it means the world!! ❤️❤️

tags ♡ :

@patzammit

[xoxo-teddybear]

It’s Too Late - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, cursing

Summary: You’ve always made it clear to him about what you feel for him. It’s always been known so you’ve never had to say it. Until months had passed and yet nothing’s been reciprocated or cleared up on his end. He didn’t express any emotions of desire or love towards you so when you finally confess, you get an answer you halfway anticipated. And when it breaks you and you move on, finally taking 1 step forward, Bakugou comes back and pushes you 2 steps back.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“I just-“

“Love me?” Bakugou said with a raised brow and his hands in his pockets. “You love me? Is that what you’re gonna say?”

“..Yes. I love you, Katsuki.” You openly confessed to your best friend with a tired voice. You and Bakugou had been friends since childhood. You grew to love him as a friend, then a best friend, but now you wish to have him as a significant other. You’ve always been clear about your feelings. Telling others you liked the blonde, putting in a little extra effort to show some comfort and affection, or even just canceling everything for him. But you never said anything specific until now.

Your best friend continued to stare at you with a blank face. You were almost offended by it but you saw the gears in his mind trying to move. He was trying to say something but it’s like something else was stopping him. “Katsuki?”

“I don’t love you, Y/N. Why you think I would is ridiculous.” His words made you grow shock. He was lying now? You get it. This whole confession wasn’t cute or anything similar to what you would see in a cartoon. There was no blushing from either ends, no smiles. This was holding a dark element of hurt but you hoped that despite all that, he would still be able to find the light you always brought with you, just for him.

“…I know you love me too, Katsuki.” You said calmly.

“Don’t tell me what I feel.” He responded in the same cold tone but with a little more harshness.

“I’m just saying the truth. It’s the one thing you seem to be running from. I’ve accepted it, I’ve embraced it because I want it. I know you do to so why can’t you just admit it?” You asked before a block of silence filled the dialogue. ��….I know you told Kaminari you love me.”

“That spark plug heard me wrong.” He defended.

“You also told Kirishima you love me too.” You added on. “You tell Kirishima, you tell Kaminari, you tell everyone and anything but me. Why can’t you just tell me?”

Bakugou looked at you in silence before squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. Frustration and anger with himself. Why couldn’t he just man up and say it to you? Why couldn’t he tell you? You were right here letting him know exactly how you felt! Letting him know you felt the same way he did so why wasn’t he saying anything to help?!

“You can’t run. You have to stay and hear it out ‘till the end.” You began making his shut eyes tremble. “Bakugou Katsuki. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts when you just walk away from it. So tell me what I know. Tell me you love me back so that everything we went through, the gossip, the lies, the secrets, everything will have been for something. So that we could end up right here where we are now with a purpose and happy ending. Please.”

Finally, after collecting himself and coming up with an answer, he speaks.

“Maybe it was.” He said with a softer tone..almost hurt. “And maybe I did love you…but it doesn’t matter-“

“Why not?!”

“Because I don’t love you anymore. It was a crush. It was for a short period of time. I’ve moved on so maybe you should too.” He said and began to walk away. “You know Damn well feelings don’t help you achieve anything. I don’t want love or a relationship, I want to be a hero. That’s all.”

There it is. He said it. He wants to be a hero. Only if he was smart enough to say the rest. He wants to be a hero to protect you. He wants to become strong enough to keep you safe in his arms. Let him achieve this dream first so he can move on to his second dream. You. You will always be his dream. He knows he still loves you and he knows he will forever and always love you..but he’s accepted that he can’t be with you. Not yet. Let him secure everything first. Let him become a hero and make shit tons of money so he can provide for you and protect you. Let him become so domestically secure that he can give you the love he knows you deserve. Let him grow first so he can be good enough for you. Please.

—

He shouldn’t have disregarded you in that moment. He should’ve told you right then and there that he loved you too. He should’ve been smart enough to be able to multitask a relationship with you and his career. He could’ve done it! But now he’s here, 2 years later sneakily watching as Todoroki asks you to be his girlfriend at the hero gala he’s brought you to as his date.

As if his night couldn’t get worse. After your confession, you distanced yourself from Bakugou after his harsh replies. He’s tried to reach out to you and stay in touch but you didn’t let him. Despite that, when 2 years passed and the hero gala came up and he’s still been so in love with you, he asked you to be his date..but you said no. You said no and shut the door on him and the roses he brought to your house that day. Then when he thought it couldn’t get worse, you show up. Looking as beautiful as ever in a red dress that matched the tie of his tux and reached the ground. It had a slit in it to reveal the smooth skin of your leg. You were the pinnacle of perfection. And he was now ready to make you his. But before he could reach you, your date did. Todoroki. He stepped up from behind you and snaked his arm around your waist before moving with you deeper into the event. The sight of you two made him nauseous. But it got even worse when the night continued and the two-toned hair colored boy was pulling you to a corner and confessing to you. Nobody but Bakugou saw and it was making his blood boil. He wasn’t about to lose you to this icy-hot bastard. So before you could answer the calm hero, the blonde came rushing in and dragging you away forcefully by the wrist.

Bakugou pulled you into the empty parking lot of the event and looked at you while saying nothing.

“What the hell was that Bakugou?!” You shouted.

“That’s not my name.” He replied swiftly.

“I’m pretty sure it fucking is. Why did you bring me out here?” You asked.

“I fucking saved you from that idiot and his pathetic excuse of a confession! You’re welcome!” He shouted. You gawked at him before slanting your eyes.

“I didn’t need your help.” You said calmly. Afterwords, a block of silence returned and Bakugou couldn’t help but feel like it was that one moment all those years ago when you confessed to him. Growing tired of this, you attempted to walk back inside. “If you’ll excuse me-“

“Are you going to say yes to him?” Bakugou asked from behind you now. You turned to him, shocked at the whimper in his voice, and noticed he wasn’t even facing you. He had his back turned to you as he looked to the ground.

“I don’t think that concerns you.” You said and began to walk away. Until you felt Bakugou hold onto your arm.

“I think it fucking does!” He exclaimed. You turned to look at him in shock and noticed a fire in his eyes that you never saw before. “You can’t be his girlfriend, Y/N. You can’t be his!”

“You’re in no position to tell me who I can and can’t be with.” You replied.

“I actually am because you’re mine!” He shouted. You looked at him with wide eyes and shaky breath as you stared at him.

“W-what?”

Bakugou smiled as he took your nervousness and shaking as a sign of happiness. “You’re mine. I love you too, Y/-“

*SMACK*

“The hell-“

“Don’t you dare say you love me, Bakugou.” You said coldly.

“What?” He asked in shock.

“You had years to tell me how you felt. Before I confessed and even after! But you can’t just tell me that you love me when I’ve already happily moved on!” You shouted.

“…moved on?” He winced. You moved on? You didn’t want him anymore? Didn’t love him anymore? “W-..WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MOVE ON?!”

“Are you fucking serious?! Why?! Because I loved you and gave you my entire being just for you to stomp on my heart-“

“You can’t move on! Not when I love you too! Not when I’ve loved you for years! Not when I’ve loved you from even before you fucking told me! That’s right!” He exclaimed as he stepped closer. “I’ve always loved you Y/N! Always! So you can’t move on!”

You stared at him and bit your cheek before turning around. “Too fucking late.”

“..N-No.” He whimpered. Without being in control, he ran to you and pulled you back before forcing a kiss onto your lips. To Bakugou, it was heaven on earth. You tasted the exact way he always imagined. Addictive and sweet. Your lips were soft. So soft. So perfect. So..you. You are heaven on earth for him.

You were surprised and infuriated by his actions so you of course pushed him off the best you could but not without a fight. The more you pushed back the tighter he held on, the more you pulled away, his lips would find yours again and steal your breath. Eventually, you ended up having to use a small amount of your quirk on him to keep him at bay. “Y/N please! You can’t be with him! Please! You have to love me! I didn’t work my ass off for years to not have you by my side in the end!”

“The hell are you talking about?!” You shouted.

“I did all of this for you! Because I love you! I didn’t tell you then because I wasn’t ready for you! You were too good for me! I had to change! I had to fix myself! And I did! I’m a hero now, I have money now, I can provide for you, love you, and take care of you now! I did this for us!” He shouted as tears trickled down his cheeks as he confessed with a smile. You only looked at him as if he were crazy.

“It didn’t matter if you were a hero or not, or had money or not. You didn’t have to change for me! I loved you because of you! And I was ready to have you just the way you were, Bakugou.”

“So please say you’ll have me now.” He begged.

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can! Y/N I’m right here. I’m not running anymore. I’m not going anywhere. Just tell me that you love me too and we can be together! Please.” He exclaimed while you shook your head with small tears pricking the corner of your eyes.

“….it’s too late now, Katsuki.”

At least in the end, you finally said his name.

Taglist: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy @qtsuki @lazyafgurl @dessykcm @misssugarless @unicornlover25 @sweethcnvy @hanamura-manami @thisuserlovesyouandyouandyou @ssurewhynottt @uchihackerman

A/N: SURPRISEEEEEE!! I’m back. Not gonna lie, I’m still getting over the large amounts of hate as I am still being sent them despite over a week already passing. However, the urge to write has been getting so strong and I poured out a bunch of thoughts in my head. They’ve been filling my mind and I couldn’t sleep without typing something down. Then I just couldn’t let my work sit in the drafts, I needed them to be seen for others to enjoy! So I’m back, little by little though! I’ll start posting but I might not start replying. Idk, we’ll see.

Also, but thank you to those kind supporters. I hope you know that to those who are consistent with my blog (meaning you’ve commented at least more than once) I see you and remember you all. I appreciate you all and every time I see your name pop up in my notifications I always get a little happy bc I know you all are so nice. Please don’t think you’re just another follower out of the bunch. You’re not. You all mean something to me and whether it be through messages or comments or likes, I have fond memories of you guys. So thank you guys, so much love for my Cubs!

[marvel-m-lee]

hello :) would you write ler dolores and lee camilo? no worries if not <3

CAMILO TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!

Words: 1440

Fandom: Encanto

Summary: Camilo is blasting music in his room, but sadly for his sister, she had super hearing. When her brother refuses and smirks, she comes up with a reason to make him smile... revenge and sound cancelling headphones!

Warnings: I tried not to swear too much but there might be some bc well- it's me. Also mention of ears bleeding

A/N: HELLO. HELLO. okay- so this isn't my favourite fic BUT near the end I really like it. I really struggled on an idea for it so I actually messaged the prompter but right as the message was sent I came up with this- leaving them confused 🥴💀 I might write another Ler Delores and Lee Camilo but we shall see lmao. Any more Encanto prompts are welcome and welcome the first fic of 2022!

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"FROM THE TOP! MAKE IT DROP- THATS SOME WAP- THATS SOME WAP" Music blasted through the house, Camilo's voice almost as loud as he sang along and danced in his room.

"GET A BUCKET AND A MOP, THATS SOME WAP, THATS SOME WA-"

"Camilo!" Camilo looked up to see his older sister standing at his door, arms crossed and looking pretty annoyed.

"HEY DOLORES!" Camilo yelled, waving at his sister from the center of his theatre's stage. Next to his was a boom box which seemed to shake the room with vibrations.

"Please! Turn that down!" Dolores couldn't step into the room much more, her ear drums already felt like they were bleeding.

"THATS SOME WAP- THATS SOME WAP!" The song continued to blast around the room as Camilo ignored his sister's request, he began to dance around his stage, doing some rather strange and dorky moves with his arms.

"Camilo!- Camilo!" Dolores began to yell a little louder to get her brothers attention. Camilo had been blasting music all morning and nobody else seemed to really care, just hoping he'd get bored of it, and others were out helping around town. Dolores couldn't take it anymore though, her ears were crying and it wasn't even a good song.

Camilo looked at his sister with a smirk, continuing to dance, then shape shift into others in the family. Just feeding his sisters anger.

"Camilo!"

"Dolores!" He yelled, shifting back into his usual self, unable to hide his teenage boy smirk.

"Turn off the music! My ears hate it" Dolores had to cover her ears as she stepped closer into the room, it seemed Camilo was in a playful mood today because he wouldn't let down.

Camilo only sat down on the stages front, legs dangling down, a smirk on his face as he watched his sister fight the noises. The boy loved making people smile, but annoying his sister? That was a whole other level of joy.

"Camilo!"

"Yeah?!"

"turn it down!"

"Mmm... nahhh!" The younger smirked as he saw his sister storm out of the room. He started to dance as he sat down, smiling at his victory with WAP on in the background.

Suddenly his door flew open and his sister stormed into the room without flinching. Camilo jumped at the sudden noise.

Dolores began to storm towards her younger brothers, anger and revenge written on her face. She was now wearing big noise cancelling headphones over her ears, which surprisingly worked very well.

"Oh shit-" Camilo's face dropped quickly as he realised his mistake. He jumped off the stage but right before he could actually run away, his older sister had leaped on him, sitting on his waist.

Wap played loudly in the background, but it seemed Camilo was fighting for his life beneath Dolores.

"We can talk about this!"

Dolores only smirked, unable to hear anything but could see the distress on her brothers face as she wiggled her fingers at him.

"Delores- Sis- come on..." Camilo put his hands up, tryna make peace before he's get wrecked to pieces. Then again, he wasn't complaining-

"Tickle Tickle Camilo~" Dolores teased wiggling her fingers just above his ribs, nervous giggles pouring out of his mouth as the air tickled.

Dolores, though she couldn't hear anything, she could still see. Her brothers face slightly blushing and mouth twitching until a smile was all she needed to dive right in.

"Dolores! DOLORES!" Camilo screeched, laughter filling the room as fingers ran over his ribs, occasionally moving to his neck to cause a few giggled to pour out of his mouth.

"PFFT- DOLORES!" Camilo squeezed his eyes shut as he desperately bucked from the tickled, his face slowly heating up more and a smile breaking his fade.

"WAAHAHAITTT!' Dolores continued her onslaught, attacking his sides and hips making him curl in on himself and shift into Dolores a few times, then a few other random people on the family.

Camilo curled in on himself, feeling the hands wiggle on his sides, he couldn't block them, so instead he tried to hug himself, sitting up and rolling into his sister.

"Tickle tickle~" Dolores taunted, her mouth next to her brothers ear as she blew it gently, Camilo jumping abd tryna pull away as he became more flustered by the second.

"PFFT- DOLOREHEHEHESSS"

He tried screaming louder but his sister couldn't hear him, or how she was greatful to have these headphones, though she didn't like wearing then a whole lot because she would get uncomfortable from hearing so little, so used to knowing everything and hearing so much, having that taken away was frightening.

Still, Camilo continued to be absolutely WRECKED beneath her, squealing and squirming as Dolores attacked his sides, stomach, and ribs. Occasionally grippingbhis hips making him buck.

Camilo grabbed onto her wrists, forcing her to stay in one spot for a little longer. He was incredibly weak now though, and had his arms in a very awkward position which revealed his armpits. Dolores only smirked at him, quickly breaking his hold and going for the money shot.

Camilo screamed with laughter, slamming his arms down and flopping like a fish, twisting and turning as tears began to roll down his eyes as his death spot was attacked. Dolores knew this yet continued her onslaught until Camilo could bearly talk.

"Will you turn the music down?"

Camilo could only shake his head, but desperately trued to nod as he had his arms crossed, trying to protect his underarms.

"STAHAHAPPPPP I WILL I WILLLLLLLLL" He begged, unable to take much more of the torture. Dolores, still couldn't hear him though, so she asked again, smirking as she saw the horror of her brother realising she couldn't actually hear him, any if his pleas or screams.

He frantically began nodding, tears in his eyes and a wobbly smile on his face. Dolores began to slow her tickles slightly, pretending like she was thinking for a moment.

"Okay, but last thing before I go"

Camilo couldn't believe it was still happening, barely able to fight anymore as the song taunted him in the background. He hated it now, throwing his head back and looking at the dumb thing.

He quickly looked up again though as he felt his sisters cold hands on his stomach, pulling up his short as her head bent down.

"No- no Dolores?! Plehease- plehehase don't- I can't take anymore! I'm sorry please!" But, his sister couldn't hear him, and even if she could, she would have ignored him. His face and giggles would have forced her to continue, I mean look at him. His wobbly smile looked as though he was begging for more tickles.

Dolores smiled at her brother before pretending to use two fingers to walk across the skin, gently pushing him into a pool of giggles. He knew this was just his sister teasing him, but he honestly didn't now how much more he could take. He would scream bloody murder if she gave him a rasberry- so he viewed his mouth to hide the giggles, a blush growing stronger.

Dolores smirked, them in a splut second gave her younger brother a massive raspberry on his belly, making him kick and scream, giggles spilling out of his mouth along with begging laughter as he pushed on her head and fought for his life.

Dolores smiled at the mess she's caused, her brother sweating, giggling, and wide spread on the floor, eyes squeezed shut as if begging for the floor to swallow him up.

She got up and walked over to the boom box, turning the volume all the way down, then turning it off all together before removing her headphones and wearing them around her neck innocently.

Camilo only opened one eye and giggly smiled at his sister.

"You're the worhohrst"

"Next time, turn your music down before I kill you" she smiled, something evil behind her eyes which made Camilo shiver.

He could only lay back and laugh though, usually it was him making everyone else laugh or smile, someone else doing it to him? Tickling him? To that extent?! As much as he hated it... he loved it?

Dolores only chuckled at her younger brother as he sat up sightly, rubbing his neck as he laughed nervously. She walked past and gave his shoulder a squeeze which made him turn quickly and jump, scrunching his neck in, sideways.

Dolores walked out of the room, "keep the music off." And closed the door behind her.

Camilo was left in his room, nervous giggles slipping out as he had to rethink his views on tickling...

[darkmulti]

-> 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞

-> 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝.

-> 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

-> releasing this a bit early because we reached 4K+!! Thank you guys so much! I love you all<3

-> THIS PROFILE CONTAINS DUB-CON AND NON-CON THEMES! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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It was a Saturday night — the busiest day of the week. You worked at the strip club, not as an exotic dancer but as a waiter. The money you were making was just enough for you to survive on your own.

Tonight, you wanted to ask your boss if you could start working as a dancer. You packed your new dancewear and everything you might need in case the boss says yes. It was around 4 pm when you arrived. You walked to your boss’s office and gently knocked on the door.

“Come in”

You grab the door handle and push the door open, revealing your boss Taehyung with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Hello, little one. What can I help you with?”

You thought the nickname was creepy at first, and when you politely asked him to stop calling you that, he said that he had a nickname for every employee. Over time, you’ve grown used to it. And you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach.

“I know this is sudden, but can I start dancing?”

Taehyung squeezed the glass cup tightly, almost shattering it with his bare hand.

“But why? You’re just a little angel. Angels don’t sin, little one.”

“Sir, I really need money. I want to go back to school and get a degree so I can have a permanent job.”

There was a pause of silence before you spoke up again.

“I-I can show you my skills. I’ve been practicing. I even brought my dancewear.”

Taehyung shoots you a glare. It was intense and almost threatening. He sighs as he puts the glass of whiskey on his desk and walks to the couch, where he sat down with his muscular thighs spread apart.

“Go wear your little outfit and come back here.”

You innerly smile and leave to the dressing room to change. Once the door closed, Taehyung let out a chuckle. He’s never going to allow you to be a dancer, he just wants to watch you for his pleasure.

After adjusting your straps and fixing up your hair, you sprayed some perfume around your neck and walk back to his office.

“Sir, I’m ready.”

“Good, now come in and lock the door.”

You did as told then remove your robe. It didn’t take long for Taehyung’s member to harden after seeing your body on full display. Taehyung turned some music on then said “the stage is all yours, little one.”

You’ve been practicing for months, just for this moment. Bending over and whipping your hair back, showing off your beautiful body to him. Taehyung motioned you to come to him, so you can give him a lap dance.

He placed his hands on your hips and made you grind on his bulge. Your face warmed up after feeling his boner that you caused. Taehyung started moving his hips with yours, making you whimper.

His hands moved to your breast and gave it a light squeeze. “Sir, I thought touching is not allowed.”

“I’m the boss. I make the rules. Right now, touching is allowed.” You were too naive to understand that he was manipulating you.

30 minutes pass and you finally stop and take a step back.

“So... what did you think?”

You were expecting a positive response and even a praise but you got the complete opposite.

“I’m sorry, little one. You’re not good enough. I can give you a raise but I’m not letting you become a dancer.”

“But what if I practice more? Could you reconsider?!”

“No is my final answer, little one. I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time to watch you dance just for you to fail.”

Embarrassed. You felt so embarrassed. You genuinely thought Taehyung was enjoying your show. Well, it sure as hell looked like it. A gloomy look took over your face and you walked towards the door to leave.

“Don’t give me that pouty face, little one.”

Taehyung abruptly pulled you on his lap and attached his lips to yours. You didn’t respond until Taehyung’s hand spanked your butt, causing you to moan.

“Grind on me, baby. I know you want it just as much as I do.”

You rubbed your clit harder against his bulge until you released. “Keep moving, little one. Help daddy cum too.” He growled, before grabbing your face and kissing you again. Deep moans left his mouth turning you on even more. His hands all over your body — it felt euphoric.

Taehyung let out one last groan before cumming in his pants. “Fuck! You’re so fucking good.” he kissed your jawline and moved down to your neck.

“How about this, little one. You become my personal dancer and I pay you money. You can stay with me, I’ll buy you everything you need as long as you accompany me and satisfy my sexual needs.”

“Like a sugar daddy?”

“Exactly”

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Rules:

No dating

No lying

No revealing clothes

If something is wrong, tell him

No swearing

Don’t be bratty

Obey him

Never reject his kisses

Don’t leave without his permission

Answer his calls and texts immediately

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How he’s like:

Taehyung’s a charming, gentleman

He treats you like a queen

He never ignores you

You’re his first priority

This man spoils the shit out of you

He buys you luxurious clothes and accessories

For your birthday, he bought you a brand new Porsche convertible

Taehyung’s very possessive, but you honestly don’t mind

You love spending time with him anyways

Anytime another male is too close to you, he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him

If you hug him, his hands will immediately go down to your ass and grab it

He’s very affectionate

Even at important events, Taehyung will always hug you, kiss your lips, cheeks and forehead in front of anyone

Sometimes you forget that you’re his sugar baby because he treats you like his wife

Your opinion matters to him

Whether it’s a big or small decision, he always wants to hear what you think

In the morning, he makes you breakfast

Especially if you had a long night with him (if ykyk)

When he’s doing work, he makes you sit on his lap and do some cock warming

Taehyung loves travelling with you

He’d rent out expensive villas or hotel room

Taehyung loves swimming with you

The man enjoys your company

You’re so lovable, sweet and innocent

It was almost like you were made for him

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Yandere Taehyung:

Taehyung was secretly obsessed with you

After he hired you as a waiter, he wanted to know everything about you

Since the job application required your address, Taehyung knew where you lived

He broke into your apartment and hid tiny cameras in places you’d never see

There were cameras in your kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom

He did this to keep an eye on you and make sure that you’re not seeing another man

When you’re at work, Taehyung stops by your apartment and takes some of your underwear to get off

He hacked into all your social media accounts, unfollowed guys he didn’t like and checked your dm’s regularly to make sure nobody was trying to get with you

If you made plans with your friends, Taehyung would show up (in disguise) and watch you from afar

Whenever you had plans or even a date, Taehyung would call you and say that more waiters are needed and he will pay extra because it’s an emergency

So you end up cancelling on your friends/date which angers them

Soon, your friends stopped inviting you to hang out because you always cancel last minute because of work

Taehyung’s plan was too isolated you from your friends which gives him the perfect opportunity to swoop in and be your one and only companion

And what do you know, his plan worked

Not only that but since you have no friends anymore, you’re always with him

So he never has to worry about you fooling around behind his back

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sex Life:

Taehyung was incredible in bed

He never failed to satisfy your sexual needs

You’ve both tried so many kinky things in bed and it was honestly fun

He was addicted to eating you out

Hickeys all over your body. Between your thighs, on your stomach and chest. All over your neck, collar bone and jawline.

Taehyung loves marking what’s his

Traditional rough sex + doggy

But hey, it gets the job done

Three round minimum, 7 rounds maximum

Taehyung will always cum inside of you

He loves watching himself cum into your little hole

He gets more turned on when watches cum his leaking out of your hole and running down your thigh

Dry humping is something he’s into

The idea of both of your coming without having actual sex drives him crazy

Blowjobs for days

He loves watching you suck him off

Make eye contact with him while you suck and he’ll have an orgasm

You must swallow all of his cum

Don’t spit it out

Before Taehyung got you, he used to use your underwear to masturbate

You eventually started to notice that a bunch of your panties disappeared

Therefore, Taehyung returned most of them (except for his favourites), some washed, some not

Taehyung could literally cum to the thought of you wearing panties covered in his dried-up cum

It made him hard just thinking about it

Over time, you notice Taehyung becoming more aggressive in bed

It would get so bad that you’d have to use the safe word to get him to stop

You noticed he started doing things he’s never discussed with you before

Sometimes, you cry under him because he scares you

He’d pin your hands above your head and fuck as hard as he could

You were not used to it nor were you a big fan of it

He was taking everything out on you

Taehyung would start at 21:30 and finish at 04:00

Unknowingly, Taehyung’s yandere side took over him

Some may know him as V

His cruel and sadistic side who felt no remorse whatsoever

V’s kinks are dark and heavy

He choked you until you couldn’t breathe, tied you up so you couldn’t move, and slapped you when you asked him to stop

V enjoyed watching you cry too

Overstimulation was the worst part

Your core was crying for a break but V couldn’t care less

The man fucked you until you passed out

Minimum 7 rounds, maximum... there’s no maximum

In the morning, he’d still be deep in you and depending on his mood, he may or may not fuck you again

At this point, you didn’t care if it was Taehyung or V, you needed to leave him

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Trying to break off the (3 years) contract:

This is when Taehyung goes fucking insane.

After nights of relentless sex, you finally decide to break the contract. You couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. Sex every night to “remind you of your place” was complete bullshit. You stayed with him for two more months, hoping that the old, sweet Taehyung would come back and save you.

Unfortunately, he never did. After you lost all hope, you wanted to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. He can keep all the gifts and money he’s given you if that means freedom.

You woke up only to see Taehyung missing from the bed. He must’ve gone to work, you thought. You get ready and pack all of the clothes you brought to his mansion. You write a small message on a notepad, saying that it’s over. You didn’t dare to tell him face to face because you knew exactly where it would’ve lead to.

You left his mansion and took the bus back to your apartment. An hour later, Taehyung was blowing up your phone, spamming you with messages.

“Where the fuck are you?!”

“Answer my calls!”

“Explain the message on the notepad!”

“What do you mean that we’re “done” ?”

“The contract’s not over yet! I still fucking own you.”

“Get your ass over here!”

“You’re making your punishment worse for yourself.”

“How can you say goodbye to me like this?! Do I mean nothing to you?!”

“You’re going to regret this!”

“Come back here, now!”

“Stay where you are, I’m on my way!”

You started to tear up because you were petrified. You drop your phone in fear and ran into your closet. You hid in a basket full of your clothes so no one could see you. Not even a minute passed and Taehyung was banging on your apartment door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N.”

You covered your mouth, stopping the sobs from coming out. You needed to find a weapon. You looked around your closet and that’s when you spotted something.

A camera.

A tiny camera is hidden in plain sight. Your heart dropped to your stomach. How long has that been there? Who placed it there? Your mind immediately went to Taehyung. You were trying to connect the dots but how could he have possibly gotten into your apartment?

You stopped questioning when you heard Taehyung break down the door. He came right to your bedroom and opened the closet door. He pulled out the basket you were hiding. “Get up.”

That’s when you knew the camera belonged to him. He knew your exact location. You couldn’t help but wonder how long he’s been watching you.

You take a deep breath in and stand up. Taehyung’s fierce eyes encountered your terrified ones. He grabbed your jaw and pulled your face close to his.

“What the fuck were you thinking?! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought one of my enemies kidnapped you but no! You just left me with a shitty ass note.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!” Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “SORRY?! THAT’S ALL YOU FUCKING GOT?!”

He picked up your glass jewelry box and threw it on the floor. The whole thing shattered, causing you to burst out in tears. “T- Taehyung! Stop! Stop it! You’re scaring me!”

“Good bitch. Seems like I haven’t scared you enough because you still have the nerve to fucking leave me.”

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Omg, I finally wrote something after months of being an unproductive piece of shit.

This is bad, but I still hope you enjoyed 😊

Oh and I apologize for any mistakes. Like always, I’m half asleep:)

xoxo,

naina❣️

[mysticpuma]

DannyMay 2022 Day 3: College Years - “Lonely”

Category: General

Rating: General Audiences

Summary:  College was weird. That was about the only conclusion Danny could really come to.

AO3

College was weird.

That was about the only conclusion Danny could really come to. He’d been there for a year and a half, and he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. In a way, he didn’t think he wanted to get used to it. College was noisy, it was chaotic, it was drinking and partying to the point that people would be asleep in lectures or just miss them entirely. He’d been to a few parties, had tried to join in the fun, but the second that the alcohol began to dull his senses, his muscles would tense and he’d have to discard the plastic cup he’d been drinking from before he went into a full-blown panic.

Jazz would have a field day with that whole mess. He could practically hear her psychoanalyzing his obvious fear of being out of control, how his obsession probably fed into it, how he really should try to relax.

But how the hell could he relax? After all these years, ghosts still came through regularly, bringing chaos and havoc and problems with them. It was honestly a good thing that Amity Park’s college was small and mostly attended by those from Amity Park who didn’t want to go far from home to study. There weren’t really many outsiders, maybe one or two per year, but not enough to have to deal with a mass hysteria breaking out every year when a ghost attacked at the start of the first semester. There were only ever a few newbies, and they’d all made friends with an Amity Park-er, who would talk them through it, hand them a Fenton wrist ray, and move on without any further fanfare. It ended with either them adjusting quickly, or them running for the hills and transferring to a different college. It wasn’t something he’d ever had to intervene in, thankfully.

He enjoyed his classes, to an extent. When he could get to them. Lucky for him, College wasn’t as strict as high-school. They didn’t care as much if you ran out in the middle of a lecture; he could catch up in independent study, and he did. His classmates were… fine. It was a small class, a few of his old high-school contemporaries and two outsiders. There were three to start with, but John had fled when Technus had tried to hack into the college database a month into first semester. He didn’t have to deal with Dash, gone far away to pursue his football scholarship, and while Kwan had stayed, he was mellower without the blond and left Danny be.

His sleep schedule was no better than high school, even though he’d gotten better at time management, had learned how to cram homework time into five-minute segments between ghost attacks. But ghosts still didn’t care what time it was for him when they attacked; some of them probably still thought he’d ignore them at night, despite all evidence to the contrary.

It was fine. Weird, but fine. Except for one thing…

The unbearable loneliness.

He’d all but demanded that Tucker, Sam and Jazz go to the colleges that were best for their chosen subjects - Amity Park College was mediocre in all areas - and while it had taken a while to fully convince them, they’d all eventually agreed, purely because they could tell he’d never let go of the guilt if they stayed in Amity for him. But that meant he had nobody during term-time. His parents had tried to fill in; they tried to get him to stay at home instead of in student halls, they tried to organise weekly get togethers (though they frequently forgot and Danny frequently had to cancel so at best he saw them once every month - besides when he stayed over for the holidays). But his parents just weren't a substitute for his friends and sister.

It wasn’t as if he never spoke to them, but it was snatches of time in the evenings or weekends, an hour or two at most. It wasn’t enough to fill that little gauge in his mind labeled ‘people give a shit about you’.

At various times, and at various levels of frequency, they’d all suggested he try and make friends with his hall-mates, those who shared a kitchen with him in the crumbling and damp-riddled student building on campus. And he had tried. He’d attended parties with them, only to be mocked for not drinking. He’d joined them for movie nights, only to have to dash out when his ghost sense went off, which didn’t exactly endear him to people.

Jazz had suggested that he wasn’t connecting well with them because he couldn’t be fully open with them about who he was. She likened it to the social distance that grew between a closeted LGBTQ+ person before they came out to their family and friends, and Danny had ground his teeth together in irritation, as if he didn’t already know about that feeling.

He’d toyed with the idea of gathering his hall-mates together and telling them the truth, had slowly tried to work himself up to it, rationalizing every possible bad situation out. As Halloween of his second year at college loomed, he began to plan out his ‘coming out’ as Phantom, pretending he was dressing up as him for Halloween, before actually using his ghost powers and changing back with a ‘surprise!’ and a flourish.

But then he saw the shrine.

———

He’d just got home after a long stint in the library trying to finish a paper to the sounds of excitable murmurs coming from the kitchen.

“Hey, that must be Danny.” Came the voice of Andrew, one of the outsiders who had stayed. He poked his head out from the kitchen to confirm, and beamed at the raven haired boy. “You wanna come help with this?” He vanished back into the kitchen before Danny could ask what ‘this’ was. He shrugged and moved past his door towards the kitchen, curiosity getting the better of his tired brain.

He rounded the corner to see all three of his hallmates - Andrew, Star and Abigail - knelt in front of a display that unnerved him to a massive degree. It was like the shrine Paulina had once set up in her locker to ‘inviso-bill’ back in freshman year of highschool, but so much more elaborate. Candles were set up in a cascading formation down several wooden boxes - clearly hand-made judging by the rough craftsmanship. The boxes were painted black with bright green and white ghostly runes painted on them. The runes were gibberish, just random symbols the group had managed to pull together, nothing resembling a declaration or even a single word. It made him think of those chinese tattoos people got where they thought it meant something like ‘honour’ but actually just said ‘rice cake’ or something. Countless pictures of him were strewn around the shrine, hanging on the kitchen wall, sitting beside the boxes in frames, and one massive picture of him from the one time he’d actually posed for the press was blown up to an A3 image with strings of green fairy lights dangling from it and following the edges of the boxes.

“What do you think? We figured, like, since it’s Halloween, this might get Phantom to like us or something.” Star explained, her eyes bright with a familiar devotion that he’d only seen on a few faces before. It made his heart and core sink in his chest, suddenly weighing a million tonnes.

“Uh… Are you sure he wouldn’t just find it creepy?” Danny muttered, only for three pairs of eyes to stare at him in disbelief and confusion.

Abigail crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. “Why would he find it creepy? We made it specially for him, with ghost runes and everything.” Gibberish ghost runes, you didn’t do any research, didn’t even try and understand what you were doing. He thought, bitterly.

“Why though?” Danny asked, trying to ignore the unease that crept over his skin. At least it’s not a summoning circle. He tried to comfort himself. It didn’t really help.

“Well, we wanna meet him obviously! He’s so cool. Like a real life superhero.” Andrew gushed. Danny cringed. It was the sort of praise he’d once longed for, when he was a naive kid who didn’t understand what fame like that meant. The parasocial aspects had swiftly made themselves apparent though, as people had increasingly put him on a pedestal. What was that phrase? Never meet your heroes. He knew he’d be nothing but a disappointment to the people who idolised him this way. Because he’d met ‘phans’ and it had always ended in disappointment and anger that he wasn’t the perfect poster boy they’d dreamed up in their heads.

He gulped. “Well, you guys have fun with that. I’m kinda drained from writing up my essay, so I’ll see you later.” He’d left before he could see how they reacted to his clear discomfort.

Once the door to his room was shut, he locked it and dumped his bag on the floor. He let out a long sigh and moved forward to flop unceremoniously onto his bed, pulling out his phone.

‘I can’t tell my hallmates the truth.’ He typed in the group chat, before burying his face in his pillow.

———

He hadn’t read the replies from his friends or his sister that night, nor had he answered any of their calls. He’d been glad when his ghost sense had gone off, and Ember had streaked through the sky like a comet. He’d followed her and through a long fight, he’d basically used her as therapy; it was a sort of pattern to the scraps he had with certain ghosts. If he’d had a bad day, he’d take it out on them, and vice versa. It wasn’t healthy, and because of that he refused to tell Jazz about it. But it helped him. It helped them.

It made him feel slightly less alone, to know that if Johnny, or Ember, or even Technus came through the portal, that he could at least trade wits with them, having clipped caricatures of conversations. It was better than nothing. It was better than weighing down his living loved ones with the baggage of his selfish emotions.

He never admitted to them that he was lonely; always insisted he preferred the peace of being on his own. They saw through it, but he pretended not to notice, pretended that he was only going along with their ideas of how he might make friends to get them to shut up.

At this point though, he couldn’t even muster up the effort to pretend anymore. Everyone in Amity Park had formed an opinion on Phantom; hero or villain. There was no inbetween, no space for nuance, or reality. So how could he have ever expected to make a new friend who he could tell? He couldn’t. The second he told someone he was Phantom, it would be all hero-worship (followed by resentment when they realized he wasn’t some perfect being) or vehement hatred and attacks. It wasn’t worth it.

He tried not to think about the future, about whether Sam, Tucker and Jazz would choose to anchor themselves to Amity Park alongside him. A part of him didn’t want them to, didn’t want to give them that burden.

But he was so lonely…

[olderthannetfic]

I wasn’t baiting I was being serious. I had a CC scream at me because I sent them an ask that made them uncomfortable. instead of telling me it made them uncomfortable they ignored me so I spammed them asking what was wrong with my ask and that’s when they started screaming at me to leave them alone and that I wasn’t entitled to their attention and I should take a hint. This triggered my RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and I lashed out at them and now they did a callout on me my life is ruined. This is why I hate boundaries.

--

Ouch, nonnie. That whole situation sounds super unhealthy and awful!

I don't think boundaries are the issue here, however.

They and you would both have had feelings regardless of their stated boundaries. It is inevitable that we sometimes get rejected, and being rejected hurts.

From just this brief description I, of course, cannot understand all the nuances of the situation, but even just from this, I'm seeing some bad signs:

You "spammed" them instead of waiting for them to answer an ask? Most people don't like being bugged about their unanswered asks because it tends to trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety and/or they just hate the topic in the ask. You can check in once to make sure it's not Tumblr eating messages; after that, you should assume they saw it but prefer not to answer (which is their right). Even if this doesn't seem intuitive to you, you can memorize this rule. You've learned a painful lesson and that sucks.

(And no "I get anxious when I'm ignored" is not an excuse. If you're so anxious you can't function, that's a job for your therapist, not the CC who is ignoring you.)

--

But also, they screamed at you right away? This could just be a you problem. It's hard to tell from your description. But if this is also a them problem, it sounds like they may not know what their boundaries are until someone trips over one. They may be vulnerable and not someone who can easily tolerate the internet limelight.

A hair trigger for posting callouts tends to point to someone having untreated PTSD and other shit they need support for. It's not your job to support them, of course. You don't need to be happy about being yelled at. Nobody likes being yelled at.

But let's keep a sense of perspective: maybe there are things wrong with them that they also can't help and that make them lash out too. It might not just be about you.

--

Your life is ruined? No. Your life is not ruined. You are hurt, but this isn't The End.

That's just your brain lying to you.

You feel like crap, and that sucks, but you can still feel better in the future. You can still make new friends. You can still be in fandom or follow CCs or whatever else.

I was canceled, and it was traumatic. I still have some PTSD from it that turns up occasionally. I am still always finding random friends-of-friends who act like joining in on a years-old cancellation will protect them and wash them clean of sin. (Spoiler: if you hang out with people who need someone on the chopping block to feel good, eventually, that person will be you. Just saying.)

But I also have 10x the fandom friends I did prior to it. I've ditched a whole set of people who are stuck in feelings of being left behind and defensive. I've met a ton of new people I never would have in the past, so I both know a lot more about parts of fandom I never saw before and am able to tell a lot more people about fandom history and how I see fannish norms.

--

My personal boundary is that if you come up to my face, I can and I will respond... if I feel like it. Or not, if I don't.

I'm not going to let "boundaries are the problem" fly on my blog even if it's something your traumatized brain wants to be true and insists on. Maybe it makes you feel bad to hear that this is a symptom of your current trauma and not reality.

Too bad.

Hearing my opinion is the price you pay for sending me asks.

Go practice some self-soothing, anon. Watch a comfort show. Hang out on some other part of the internet that isn't where this CC is. Play a mindless phone game to anesthetize your brain when it wants to obsess. Go to bed at a consistent time and wake up at a consistent time. Get 8 hours of sleep. Eat healthily. (No, I am so not kidding. Food and sleep have a profound effect on emotional shit.)

You're here on my blog, an adult space, so whomever you are, you're old enough to set some mental health-improving boundaries for yourself. One could be not trying to interact with this type of CC so that you can avoid this type of situation. Or one could be sending one ask and then immediately going jogging or to a movie or to class so that you can't sit there fussing about why it hasn't been answered yet.

The CC doesn't owe you anything, but you owe some things to yourself. RSD is genuinely hard to handle. Be kind to yourself. There are ways to cope, at least to a degree.