#bc there would be 7 povs for one thing and people would be jumping in and out of vc so you woulndt get the full story and sigh. sigh sigh

[aliferous-ly]

I know nothing of DSMP but I would love to hear how the ending/story/characters/creators were mishandled if you’d like to rant/ramble

OKAY.

I didn't watch the ending. I barely knew the ending was happening, because by the time it happened I was so disenchanted with the whole dsmp that I didn't really care. so I heard through the grapevine (Tumblr dashboard) that it was like.. everything blows up we're starting over and everyone's memories are wiped.

Which. Is a choice. But is a particularly horrible choice when one of the people roleplaying.. died, and would therefore "not be remembered" (with no new content). The people close to this person confirmed that dsmp 2 would continue technos legacy and that they wouldn't forget him, but the fact that it needed to be said in the first place is just. An awful feeling. like, none of techno’s actions would have any bearing on dsmp2...?

So fuck the ending, who even cares about it. The beauty of the dsmp is supposed to be the many interlocking characters, since they're all roleplaying to have fun with this comedy/serious rp. But the creators (read: the main creators slash writers of the arcs) would often ignore other creators on the dsmp and their role. Niki frequently was talked over and ignored. Her and puffy planned a dsmp lore stream only to cancel it because dream scheduled a server-wide event for the same day (literally the day before). eret regularly planned lore and streams, but received rare replies in the discord. they were the first villain character and received so many death threats for the arc that really kick-started the serious storylines, and then their character was mostly forgotten by the other big creators. I understand the improv of rp, but the streams started becoming more and more planned, and eret wanted to be in them! And as the original traitor, having her as a staple would have been INTENSE. but she just kinda.. dropped off. Anything to do with the egg was vastly considered uninteresting and therefore lesser to the "main" characters, which is, of course, tommy and dream. which sucked because I didn't care about tommy and dreams storyline and I liked everyone else's 😭😭 (this is more neg for the community than the creators, but whatever)

Another thing I hated was when the creators would joke about how cringe people getting invested in Minecraft RP is. stuff like that. because it shows that at a certain level they're ashamed of creating it? They're embarrassed of it. And so they disregarded their audience and fucked up the storyline and now dsmp 2 is never happening because who's gonna watch it? their scorned audience? like holy shit, guys, you were getting 200k viewers a stream because people liked the story. people like stories!!! the medium doesn’t MATTER.

Like.. okay. There's some really good characters in the dsmp. Schlatt, I think, had the best character, because he was cohesive and had an arc -- he entered as a villain against wilbur and tommy, was further corrupted by power, physically crumbling from his poor choices, was super horrible to quackity which set up quackity’s arc & insecurities... and his death was interesting! nobody killed him, he just succumbed to his own problems. I still think techno is a good character, because he stuck to his thought processes and morals (which was basically, governments = bad, people = good. with a dash of extremely violent inclinations). Whether or not you liked him. His problem was his innate existence as unkillable (technoblade never dies, he won a battle against the whole server, etc), because then it can get tedious, but he'd been planning to have cyberknife the Government Lover to counteract this (god, I miss him).

Dream is... Dream, I guess. Sam has a good character, very nice corruption arc (everyone literally hating him in his chat was annoying though. Like guys, you're in sam's chat, you gotta root for SAM. go to Tommy's stream if u wanna be a little bitch). also sam’s arc had everything that dream apologists wanted with dream’s character, lol. dream had no regrets and was a horrific abuser. sam started good and slowly corrupted to evil through “the ends justify the means” choices, which is FASCINATING, because by the end he was a mess of ethics and trauma. I love Niki's arc, but I wish she could have had more closure with Wilbur, because he was huge for the beginning of her arc. Hannah, bad, ant, and punz had this super cool thing with the egg (bad and skeppy was WILD) and I loved the fantasy aspects and that it didn't take 4 fucking hours to do the climax, with like 1 hr of actual action. (the egg was like... a fungal infection came to the dsmp and infected various characters to do its bidding by promising whatever they want most. and bad wanted to be with skeppy, who is his actual in-canon soulmate, since bad’s CANON LIVES were tied to skeppy’s. meaning he never lost a canon life unless skeppy did. fellas...)

I guess overall it's like... the main creators didn't communicate and plan enough with many of the people who wanted lore and arcs. Foolish, quackity, purpled, Sam, and Charlie did really well at the end, I loveddd the whole purpled defecting and shit. charlie’s arc was incredible. and they COMMUNICATED in the discord to make this happen. 

Dream, sapnap, and George just had no handle on the storyline they were trying to construct. And it's their server. They needed an ending. Something satisfying, cathartic, something where tommy finally gets the chance to heal which might only happen alongside dream's death-- and the servers getting blown up by a nuke okay sure that works too I guess.

I’m so, so upset by the lack of happy ending for tommy. like, the cc wanted to move away from dsmp, so they could have written an ending for the character and then he could ease away from the server and lore. it didnt have to happen Like That.

Also, if dream wanted to play a different character, then Do That. He could pretend to be a shape shifter who liked the original dreams form, or the original dream could be a shape shifter who copied dreamXD (the literal god of the server, which I feel like was not mentioned more that foolish had regular interactions with them?), or just, anything. but the constant evil!dream abusing tommy was getting a bit much. it was just never ending.

AND. THIS ISNT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE STUPID FUCKING THREE LIVES THING.

Like.. they had three "canon" lives. This happened because the original roleplay was Not Serious, it was just them fooling around. They would kill each other to steal their stuff. Everyone died all the time. And I don't remember the specific inciting incident.. it might be as far as tubbo getting executed on stage? but suddenly This Death is far more important than all the Other Deaths, so they have to separate them and add some significance, but tubbos back now and technos not apologizing which is a whole thing (oh nooo techno didnt save tubbo from being executed despite not receiving any communication), so tubbo is alive, so this death is Significant (but he's still alive) so. three canon lives. Which is dumb, because the only thing (seemingly) signifying a canon life loss is that it's literally written into the plot. (Which, jack manifold dying to techno and then falling into a glitch and respawning, to then claim that he lost his third canon life but through pure determination to kill tommy/techno crawled back out of hell, is metal as fuck). which takes out a lot of the improv, makes things a lot more staged. But it's canon, in the lore, that sometimes people die and they don't lose a canon life. It's just.. so bizarre. (Phil having one life to show that he's from a hardcore world is also, however, very cool).

it makes the whole thing a bit meta, using terms like “canon life” within the actual roleplay. the only bandage I could think of would be coming up with unique ways each specific character could die. Like, tubbo can only be killed via explosives/fireworks. Tommy and Dream can die by axe. techno’s is unknown, until tubbo infiltrates phil’s house and finds information that techno can be killed by being crushed. this would cause some other brand new problems, though.

Anyway. Wilbur's plots were well written, but disregarded Fundy (his canonical son) and mostly Niki, too (who he brought into the server). George obviously didn't give a shit about lore, bc he was never there. Sapnaps lore is meh, even though he has, arguably, one of the most interesting relationship webs of the server (his best friend became this abusive pos, his parents are skeppy and bad, he’s off-and-on dating quackity and karl, both of which have their own crazy shit going on. god, i didnt even talk about karl). Tommy's was very well done even though I personally didn't like his character.

Like... These people just didn't know what the fuck they were doing. Which could have been fine, if they didn't try to capitalize the fuck out of the views lore streams could bring while also ridiculing their audience for liking this sort of thing, and then attempted to tie it together into some sort of ending to the tommy / dream arc. Like, new arcs can happen, sure, but things have to end! They have to!

Honorable mention for ponk who regularly streams earlier than I watch but consistently was on the dsmp. He kept that shit alive. He was the og. His tree jumpstarted the lore. Much love for ponk and many wishes for future successes for that man.

Also it was really weird how the dsmp was primarily white men because it originally was just dream and his friends, which obviously is fine ur not gonna intentionally diversify your minecraft server for friends, but after people started pointing out that most everyone being added was a white man and the only defense was that it's dream and his friends became.. thinly veiled. Because he started adding people that hes not like, close friends with, but they were also white men. Like I'm so sorry Michael mcchill I love you and your energy is fantastic but this is about you and manitreed and foolish and and and. There were like 30 people on the server and like 6 poc. maybe 6 women. (Shout-out to Tina, lmfaooo).

idk. it’s a storyline that was wonky and weird at its base, so the viewers were willing to give it the benefit of the doubt for a lot of things, because we knew that it was improv and sometimes things dont go your way. and they had this massive, growing, beautiful thing at their fingertips. and wilbur said “yeah i’m not writing this arc” and communication became nonexistent and everything collapsed. the server literally NUKED ITSELF. OK . holy shit.

that being said i immensely enjoyed my time in the dsmp fandom. it helped me through covid, it inspired me, i’ve written quite a bit of fic for it. i loved the dsmp. there are aspects that i still love, and will love forever. but holy shit. we were not treated well.

[avasghost]

foreign birds: update #2

wake up new foreign birds update just dropped

so yeah. 13k in and nothing has gone extremely wrong yet which is good! it's all going pretty good. so here's excerpts for chapter 7-10.

if you missed it, you can find the wip intro here and the first update here. and also the playlist here because i have good music taste.

so ! the story is progressing nicely and the four timelines are working out really well. i finally introduced gabriel (in the college timeline) and he's becoming one of my favourite characters ever (based on the 1 singular scene with him i've written so far, in a chapter i'm going to include in the next update bc i don't want this update to be that long). this book is probably going to be relatively short with the projected word count being 50-60k words, so at this rate i might finish it for camp in april next year? but idk. i'll probably be sad if i finish this book any time soon so i won't be rushing it.

excerpts & taglist below the cut!

CHAPTER 7

in chapter 7, we jump back to the third timeline, which follows martin going to college and the development of his relationship with gabriel, who's already dead in the fictive present.

in this chapter martin leaves his hometown finally and drives for a while and then has dinner in a little diner where he aspires to not be like the people in his hometown.

When I left my hometown for college, I didn’t check its fleeting image in the rear-view, didn’t even feel it slink away around me and disappear into fields and hills. All I felt was the relief of separation, the green unfurling like a new country.

and here's the end of the chapter:

I ate the burger and paid and left. The sky had deepened, and the stars glittered in small clusters above my head. It didn’t feel too different from back home, where Jasmine and I would lie on our trampoline and count them, scanning the sky carefully for all the tiny lights. I kept driving. The roads grew smoother and buildings grew taller and more industrial. Cars crawled like ants, headlights a searing yellow. The traffic lights tossed green and red beams across the highway. The stars disappeared.

CHAPTER 8

in the main timeline (martin back in his hometown after death of gabriel) martin goes to a laundromat and meets rainey for the first time in three years! oh the tension

here he is the night before being sad bc thats just what he does:

I spent two nights in the motel room alone. The telephone on the wall didn’t ring and no ones’ knuckles thrummed on the door. If they did, I probably wouldn’t have answered anyway,sprawled on the paisley duvet cover in a silvery sheen of smoke. I kept my pack of cigarettes under the edge of my pillow, and smoked into the empty hours of the night as the silence outside the window festered and the room grew shadows and slowly faded from sight. I kept the side-lamp on, and sometimes I leaned into the rind of yellow light that ringed the bedside table. As smoke flumed between my teeth I’d shut my eyes and it would become a halo, the circle of light, the only thing that made me visible.

martin sees rainey in the laundromat after not seeing her for like three years, and she leaves and he follows her outside. they talk awkwardly and then rainey asks why he came back. he avoids the question. (she's the "you" pov)

“So are you back for good?” I approached slowly, then leaned against the wall a few feet from you, warmed by the sun baking on the stucco. “Doubt it. I always hated this place.” “Same.” A cloud of smoke. A cough. “This town is a shithole. I never left, though. Got a pretty good gig writing magazine columns. Pretty decent pay. What were you majoring in again?” I didn’t mention her thieving, decided it wasn’t important. “Photography. Not much of a career to come out of that, though.” “Did you drop out?” “It’s complicated.” Gabriel’s face, swimming. Gabriel’s body crumpled on the ground, blocked out. I blocked it out. “Why did you come back here, then?” “That’s also complicated.” “There’s really nothing left here. Most people our age moved away ages ago and now the only people left are people like Greta and a few little kids.”

later, martin is sitting in his motel room watching the news and gabriel shows up as a missing person.

I sat in my motel room that evening and waiting for the News to clip through the frenzy of static that rang in the back of my head even after the static stopped and a woman with a pearl necklace and too-white teeth began speaking, her voice hollowed by the grain of the audio recording. I pressed the back of my head against the wooden headboard and tugged at the button on the sleeve of my shirt. Her words slipped together, words about the forecast, how it was supposed to be partly sunny tomorrow and rain all night. But then, my stomach dropped. Gabriel’s face flashed on screen, Gabriel with his curly black hair and amber skin, Gabriel with his dimples and subtle smile, Gabriel with his gold earring and colourful silk shirt, mostly unbuttoned so you could see his crystal necklace crooked to his chest. I sleeved a grease of sweat from my forehead as the news reporter’s voice rang in my ears, words still hazy but some sticking out like the sting of metal—student's body found off campus, likely an accident, still searching for answers, will be missed, prayers for his family, so sorry for their loss. And then his face was gone. As suddenly as it had appeared, I could no longer picture his features in my head. He was so close and yet already so far gone.

CHAPTER 9

i skipped this chapter for now but it's in the childhood timeline. moving on.

CHAPTER 10

martin goes to the only nightclub nearby where he doesn't expect to recognize anyone.

i wrote basically this entire chapter in my math class in a notebook which is cool. it's been kind of the best time to get writing done lately (but don't worry its only when i'm done my work i'm not failing i swear)

he's a little disorientated because last time he went to a nightclub it was with gabriel. then he sees someone in the crowd, who he recognizes as rita, a girl he went to school with. i've seriously got to stop describing halos all the time but i can't

The woman, Rita Ellis, was a year younger than I was but graduated a year before me. Skittish and friendly, she’d usually nooked herself behind the pages of the mass-market fantasy novels they sold in grocery store lineups and only spoke when spoken to. Tartan skirts and hair in two braids, she usually sat with her parents in front of my family in mass and I used to watch the light scintillating through the stained-glass windows amber through her hair, give her a soft halo that turned her blond head bright yellow. Today she was haloed by the red and blue lights that scattered above her head, and her hair ran long and wavy across her shoulders.

and then, shortly after

Her voice rang above the noise and I stared at the space behind her ear, where a man with black curls and a gold earring laughed at some unheard joke. Gabriel’s face almost replaced his as he turned towards me, then vanished into bright fractures again.

she asks the usual questions about why he's back and he says he missed it. she says she stayed because her mom had cancer and is still here because of her dad.

then she asks him to dance, and they talk for a while and she tells him she missed him a lot. she asks him to come over to her place but he doesn't bc he wishes he was here with gabriel instead but he's dead so. making due ig. then he gets sad about gabriel not being there and leaves suddenly.

“Sorry. I have to go.” “Her smile slunk back into itself and she slid her hands down my arms before pulling them away. “Of course. It was nice seeing you again, Martin.” “And you. I’ll see you around.” I lost sight of her in the crowd as I made my way toward the exit, with its neon sign stamping red letters in my eyes, a lure. Bodies shuffled against me and sour breath ghosted my face and sweat braised my forehead when finally I shouldered open the door and stepped into the husky chill of night.

soon after

Images swirled in my head, images and faces blending together—Rita’s breath, Gabriel’s eyes, your red hair. The lights and the colours that continued to splotch inside my eyelids and quiver across the pavement in front of me, the yellow moon, all the dark-windowed houses and dead shop signs.

he gets back to his motel and decides to look through a stack of photos he has in his suitcase that he took, most of which are of gabriel.

the end:

I shuffled through the deck of polaroids until the clock above the bed read 2:44 and the stack began to repeat itself, Gabriel Gabriel Gabriel, his face reappearing so many times throughout the stack that it began etching itself in my head again, the familiar curls, his bright eyes, his floral scent and long fingers. The lump pitted in my throat began to grow and I decided not to turn on the news, not to scour every headline for his face, like I so wanted to. It wouldn’t do me any good. It wouldn’t bring him back. I shoved the polaroids into the drawer of the side-table next to the Gideon bible with shiny golden letters, and shut the drawer.

and those are all the excerpts i have today! until the next update,

-- ava

taglist (i just have one for everything, ask to be added/removed): @flip-phones @chewingthescenery @ghostsofmemories @dallonwrites @wildswrites @annlillyjose @letsgetsquiggly @strangerays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @teaandtypewriters @kahaaniyaa @coffeeandcalligraphy @47crayons @writing-is-a-martial-art @pepperdee @oceancold @unorganisedbookshelf @musingsbycaitlin @sunstone-iolite @femmeniism @raywritesstories @rodentwrites @cheerfulmelancholies @these-starrynights

[i-logophile]

So I made that playlist for Game of Shards (and just generally, the turtles), and I've decided to explain the TGP-specific songs in excessive detail bc y'all don't understand the depths of my hyper-fixations.

For the most part, the playlist is in chronological order; however, some of the songs are grouped by general vibes (e.g., songs for Leo's various timeouts in the darkness are all grouped together as opposed to being chronological with the story), and whenever it switches perspective, it may go back to previous chapters (e.g., the first 40-ish songs follow Leo through Ch. 1-7, and then it jumps back to Ch 2 for his brothers' POVs). Instrumentals/OSTs are scattered throughout as interludes between scenes and/or perspectives.

Tbh I don't even mind if people actually read this; I just wanted to write this down lmao

If y'all have any suggestions or song recs, feel free to put them out there! (I reserve the right not to add them to the playlist tho—no hard feelings 🙃) I will probably continue adding to this list because I keep finding more and more songs lol

TGP spoiler alert (duh...). Also TW for mental health issues in some songs.

ROTTMNT Movie

1. "Everybody Loves Me" - Okay, but this song is just like LEO all the way. 2. "give a little." - Leo, stop that angsty middle-child nonsense (saxophone slaps tho). 3. "Expectations" - I ain't got much to say about this one tbh. I feel like it fits the vibe though. 4. "Doomsday" - Leo's getting frustrated with all this leader/hero business. He wants to go back to the simpler times when all he had to do was look pretty and smooth talk. 5. "Not OK" - Leo's tired of being told what to do. the lyrics "Sorry can you please repeat the question? / I'm broke, and I never pay attention" really give that Leo+Raph scene in Leo's room in the movie. 6. "ight bet" - Leo gets cocky and impulsive. 7. "One Wrong Turn" - It's not so much the lyrics as the theme of the song. In other words, Leo, you done fxcked up. "Something funny that I've learned / Is just how quickly fate can turn / How one simple mistake can take you out (out, out, out) / Something funny that I've found / Is just how quickly worlds burn down / Make one wrong turn and you can't turn around ('round, 'round, 'round) / One wrong turn can burn things to the ground." 8. "The Tornado" - LISTEN TO THESE LYRICS. They fit the movie perfectly, especially "Every fiber in me screamed out, but I couldn't make a sound / The whirling of a vortex, a violent carousel / It sounded like a freight train was draggin' me to hell / And this was my prayer / "Save me from this terrible nightmare!" / That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight / Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died? / No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night." 9. "Otherside" - Leo's existential crisis following the Invasion Pt. 1 10. "When I Die" - Leo's existential crisis following the Invasion Pt. 2.

TGP Ch. 1: Leo Reminiscing

11. "Hold It Down" - More existential crisis, but now with that ever-familiar side of guilt and regret. 12. "Humpty Dumpty" - Something's wrong (*cough* PTSD *cough* chronic injuries *cough*). Leo's trying to push through it. 13. "Home" - The lyrics "When I fall, will you show me who I'm meant to be? / Because I'm getting tired of who I've become", "I'm not a hero or a child, I'm just something in between", and "Days passed as I would start to scream / I'd hear the words around my head like they were circling / You'll never be who they all want you to become / Oh will I make them proud enough / Or am I even worth the love / Don't let my self-doubt take my pride away, yeah / Because my spirit felt the cuts / And my ego lost its luster just as fast as I could say" hits my soul. Poor Leo. 14. "Growing Sideways" - Leo's brothers all seem to be healing, why isn't he? 15. "Superkid" - Leo's a ninja, a hero, yet something is still wrong—he realizes it's him. He surveys the damage to the city and thinks of the struggles his family has faced. He blames himself. ("So, hide your face / Smile at the people even if it's fake / 'Cause they can't know your kryptonite / Fly around the city, make 'em think you're fine / But you can't save them.") 16. "Tread On Me" - Leo's trying to take responsibility, but he's drained. "Lotta miles, lotta folds, I'm still tryin' to just get back up / Don't you tread on me / I could hardly sleep / So I don't / And I can hardly speak / So I won't." "I'm tryna live in the moment like you told me / I'm tryna control it without givin' it up / I'm a soldier and I'm on my feet for now." 17. "Porcelain" - It's the glass theme, guys. 18. "One Winged Airplane" - Self-deprecation with just a touch of despair. ("Even though I keep on fallin', I just pick myself back up / I just keep puttin' my all in, even though it's not enough / I've lost so much already, so what? I'm not afraid to show up.") (I'm biased toward the ADHD songs ngl.) 19. "Corner of the World" - Depression(TM): Leo Style. ("It was tough when he was younger, but he finally got it down / Convincing everybody he's a comic, he's a clown / 'Cause he hides it so well that it can't possibly be found / He's constantly let down, but he says that he heals / He laughs and jokes about it, but it isn't real / He just mirrors the emotions that he wish he could feel / But if no one ever noticed, it's a victory still.")

Ch. 1: Leo's Run

20. "Run Away to Mars" - The song's a vibe, and it fits the scene, what can I say? 21. "Run" - Leo was getting stir-crazy in the lair. Luckily, he can go for a nice run while he waits for the pizzas. ("Something isn't right, I can't hear the inner me / But my shell is doing well, so nobody intervenes / Convos feel like interviews, I get through by any means / Mirror on my face, I'm just displaying what you give to me / Every day I fantasize of burning it all / Go somewhere where I would never be a burden at all / Take every penny that I ever earned and give it away / Disconnect the telephone and disappear in a day.") 22. "run little hero" - "Run, run, run, run from your friends, from your family / Like they're the next calamity / Cut them out like profanity, – into insanity / Running from your commitments / You're running up on the price / You better run little hero / 'Cause you're running out of time." Also, the last lyric of this song killed me. 23. "Run Boy Run" - Just a run, a nice, chill, definitely-not-gonna-have-consequences run.

Ch. 1: Leo and the EPF Van (plus ~panic attacks~)

24. "Paranoia" - Leo notices a black van. Again. And again. 25. "Overwhelmed" - Pretty self-explanatory if you know the song—though this is a different cover than the OG, so a bunch of the lyrics are different. (Personally, I like this version better.)

Ch. 1: Leo v. Mark and Clark

26. "OH WELL" - Everything's gone to shit. 😃 27. "life is good" - Leo cannot, in fact, dodge tranquilizers. "Face down, but I can feel my body moving / Is this real or am I in an illusion / Get up get up I’m only human / Pupils dilated like I’m bout to lose it / so crazy so I turn off the news / Living in a lie and we can’t see the truth / Every one fighting tell me which side are you" 28. "Redecorate" - "I don't want to go like this / At least let me clean my room. / I don't want to leave like this / 'Cause the last thing I want to do is / Make my people make decisions / Wondering what to do." 29. "alive (it's a lie) - demo" - As Leo succumbs to the tranqs, he can't help but think of his brothers, all seemingly on the road to full recovery. Meanwhile, he's stuck. Some ninja he is.

1. Interlude

30. "Sinister Intentions" - Get it? Bc the EPF has sinister intentions? Somebody stop me

Ch. 3: Leo Wakes up and Meets Bishop

31. "Lucky Charms" - Leo wakes up in his cell and thinks lots of lovely self-loathing thoughts. ("Wish I could say, wish I could say / That this won't last forever / But every day, but every day / It never seems to get better / I hate myself but I don't want to / I'd ask for help but I'm too strong to / I got some feelings I've been fighting / Always hiding the truth.") 32. "Now That We're Alone" - Bishop and Leo vibes all the way.

Ch. 3-7: The Darkness (AKA Leo's timeouts) & Bishop's Interrogations

33. "Black Water" - Just listen, you'll get it. 34. "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" - Leo goin' crazy, y'all 😜 35. "Timebomb" - Leo's thoughts toward B-Man during literally every interrogation. 36. "Panic Room" - All bets are off when the lights turn off. 37. "Talking To Myself - demo" - He misses his family, your honor. 38. "Pretty Little Smile" - Leo's trying his best to hold it together. 39. "Ship in a Bottle" - Leo spiraling about Bishop and the EPF and his brothers and... 40. "SAD (Clap Your Hands)" - Thinking specifically of Leo doing the Cup Song here.

2. Interlude

41. "Solas" - Felt like this one was properly somber, but still a good transition into the frantic energy of Leo's brothers in Ch. 2.

Ch. 2-6: Donnie, Raph, & Mikey Want Their Brother Back

42. "Enough" - Donnie is angry at everything. He just wants Leo back. 43. "Me Myself & I" - Donnie regrets fighting with his family. 44. "Happy Song (Low Key)" - Mikey's gonna keep smiling if it kills him. 45. "Brightside" - Mikey tries to hold the family together while dealing with his own issues regarding Leo's capture. 46. "I'm Doing Fine" - Raph struggles under the leader's mantle.

3. Interlude

47. "Glacial Basin" - An appropriately unnerving prelude to Bishop's plan(s).

Ch. 8: Bishop Tries To Manipulate Leo

48. "Twisted" - Leo is (high on pain and painkillers but also) so confused. Come on, Bishop, you're hurting his concussed, drugged-up turtle brain.

Ch. 9: Bioagent-X

49. "Control" - Leo gets angry at Bishop, escapes, and finds his brothers, but he doesn't know what's going on with himself. (I know this song's kinda overused in a lot of fandoms, but I couldn't not include it. I mean, it makes sense here, doesn't it??)

Ch. 10: Turtles v. EPF

50. "Clouds" - Bioagent-X takes its toll. The EPF attacks. 51. "CHOKE" - The plan falls apart. Leo is taken once again. Angst, spice, and nothing is nice.

4. Interlude

52. "Fade (Interlude)" - It's a sad moment, dammit.

Ch. 11-12: They Are All Struggling

53. "everything is falling apart again" - I felt like this song fits Raph very well, especially here. One of his themes in TGP was that he felt like things were falling apart, and since the first half of this chapter is from his perspective following the disaster that was Ch. 10, this was the perfect place for this song. 54. "Gravedigger" - Leo is throwing reason and caution to the wind. If he's his own gravedigger, why not dig his grave as deep as possible and make it even more difficult for the EPF? 55. "Dark Room" - Back home again to his cell and the darkness and Bishop's manipulations. "Way down we go / To the dark room / Where your pain's the only one to greet you / Down we go / To the mind that / Will deceive you. / Only out to get you." 56. "Numb" - Leo struggles with despair. 57. "Headlights" - Leo's had enough. "Is it only me or do you / Ever feel like you've had enough? / Screaming at the top of your lungs / These days it's so dark and I can't get my head right / Mind is spinning out of control / Running, but there's nowhere to go / These days it's so dark that I can't see with headlights."

5. Interlude (and Ch. 12)

58. "Rain, in Your Black Eyes" - I know it's long, but this is my favorite instrumental piece. It's solemn but gradually hopeful. This song follows Leo regaining his Ninpō in Ch. 12.

Ch. 12: A Small Spark, A Blue Flame

59. "Power" - Leo uses his Ninpō and faces down the EPF with his escape in sight.

Ch. 13: Mind Meld

60. "Brother" - They've found him (granted, in the Mind Meld). (And, yes, I know the song's overused yada yada, but it fits.) 61. "can you hear me?" - Leo's gotten this far, but he can't get out alone. 62. "No Chances" - "We want you home in one piece now / We come for you, no chances"

6. Interlude

63. "The Last Survivors" - Cinematic and dramatic.

Ch. 14: Leo Holds On

64. "Come Home" - Leo's trying to come home. 65. "Bones" - Leo plays a desperate, painful game of hide-and-seek while his Ninpō fades in and out of his control. 66. "Bleeding Out" - This song makes me specifically think of when the EPF overtakes Leo after Bishops turns off the lights. 67. "My Tears Are Becoming A Sea" - Leo sees his brothers' light in the impenetrable darkness.

Ch. 14: Hamatos to the Rescue

68. "Flares" - Leo's family is here for him. 69. "Edge of Rain" - Hamatos v. EPF (Take 2)

Ch. 15: They Got Him Back

70. "Call Your Mom" - Yes, I know the song's about Noah Kahan's girlfriend, BUT "Stayed on the line with you the entire night / 'Til you let it out and let it in / Don't let this darkness fool you / All lights turned off can be turned on", "Waiting room, no place to stand / His greatest fears and wringing hands and the loudest silence / If you could see yourself like this", and "Don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathin' / So, won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me?" IT FITS DAMMIT.

Ch. 16: Bishop's Boutta Get It, Guys

71. "Start a War" - Okay, but why does this song describe Game of Shards (not just TGP) so well? I think specifically of the lines: "Bang, shots fired. / Pain is what you desire. / The pen is mightier than the sword." ;)

7. Interlude

72. "Nuvole Bianche" - The send-off. For now.

Once again, feel free to suggest other songs. You may have noticed that some chapters/scenes didn't have any songs, so if you think you know a song that would fit somewhere, lmk! (I'm particularly salty that I haven't found songs for any scenes with the Krang Sister :P)

[bitbybitwrites]

Weekend WIP - Ask Game

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

*******

Updated: I was eventually tagged. My answers are here.

No one tagged me - but I saw this going around another fandom I follow and thought it would be interesting seeing any other folks I know do it. I'm going to tag - but jump in only if you want to share: @kirakiwiwrites, @gleefulpoppet, @rockitmans, @caramelcoffeeaddict, @hkvoyage, @special-bc-ur-part-of-it, @forabeatofadrum, @kurtsascot, @madas-ahatters-world , @thnxforknowingme, @spaceorphan18

*****

1. WIP List

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

[insecxreasalwqys]

a pooh bear’s love

This was per @a-simp-20​ ‘s request :) its a yuzuru hanyu x fem! Reader. This will probably suck, bc i dont read or necessarily like x readers in general. There are definitely writers who can write good x readers, but im not one of them. I dont write romance in general, so bear with me, please :).

The press conference left you perhaps a little bummed, but atleast you could watch his shows in the future! As you saw him, you decided to walk up to him.  (This will probably be the worst written part out of all of this, so proceed with caution, lmao. I also dont know how people even ask for autographs, so.)

“Excuse me?” You said. Yuzuru stopped walking, and turned towards you. “Hm?” “Ah, not to bother you, or anything, but could you sign this?” You asked, holding out your pooh-bear. He nodded once, and you handed your bear and pen over.  “Whats your name?” Yuzuru asked, writing a little note. “(Whatever your pretty name is, idk.)” You answered. Hanyu smiled and handed the bear back to you. “Thank you.” You smiled back. As you turned around, you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned back around, and saw that it was yuzuru. “I was wondering, if you wanted to meet up at, perhaps, the mall nearby? Its fine if you dont want to.” He asked. You smiled a bit, but was in a little disbelief. You agreed. He told you where it was, again, to avoid confusion. After a while, you guys settled for 3 tomorrow.  “Thanks, again.” You said, before leaving. 

You woke up, with a small strip of light next to you. You yawned, before getting up. You smiled a bit, and continued on with the morning in a good mood.  You made sure to drive carefully today, not that you didnt everyday, but, you get the point, okay? It was nice outside, not too hot, yet not too cold.  When you got there, you didnt see yuzuru. You remembered that he hadnt told you where to go. You sighed, before starting to look around.  Yuzurus pov bc yes

 How is one late when they were the one offering to meet up? I thought to myself. It was 3:05. I entered the building, only to realize I hadn’t told her where to meet. I buried my face in my hands, before going to the nearest store.  Not in his pov anymore? Your pov? Idk what to call it.  You still hadn’t found him. You had already been in 2 other stores, probably looking like a maniac to other people. You saw another store close to you, so you entered it.

You were going through the sections of the store. “Nope, no Yuzu.” You mumbled under your breath. Before turning around, only for something to catch your eye.  yuzus pov 

Now, where would she be? I wondered. I might as well just go into a store randomly. Why not? I walked in. “Hi, welcome to (whatever idk you choose)” A worker said. I nodded with a smile, before looking around the store.  I had been looking for a few minutes, before I saw the colors red and yellow. I turned to look. Awh. I saw you grabbing a pooh bear. “Were you hiding there, or something?” I said.  your pov. Ig.  You jumped a bit, before seeing that it was Yuzuru. You let out a laugh, before getting up. “Where were you?” You asked. “It was traffic.” Yuzuru replied. “Ah. Okay.” You said. 

AhEm. Never. Again. Better for you and me both, love. I took 5 decades to finish this. Started on july 19 ended on august 7 :). I have never heard of procrastination in my life. I never once got stuck on this fic and just wrote 😍 ykyk bc im an amazing writer. Right? No, but you have yourself a good day. Or atleast try your best to after reading whatever this thing was. Love ya

                    -insecure (or gabby ig)

[favberrys]

I'm bored and in a kkg brainrot mood, so i'm just gonna rant about my opinions of kakegurui ships and i will make some headcanons:

Kirasaya

Ok i had to start with them bc they're just too iconic, i think they have one of the most interesting and complex dynamics in kkg, they really got me obsessed with them, it's probably my number one kakegurui ship and the reason i started watching the show and reading the manga. Honestly yeah their relationship has some power imbalance, since sayaka is kirari's secretary, and is probably disfunctional, but contrary to what some ppl say kirasaya is not abusive, kirari never physically or emotionally abuses sayaka throughout the story. Anyway they're a 10/10, peak lesbian yearning, if they don't kiss at least one i will jump the author. Probably one of my fav ships ever, i think they're made for each other and i can't see kirasaya with anyone else, they're just so good together and their chemistry is >>>>>>

Yumary

Ok this one is kinda an unpopular opinion bc most people like yumary, but honestly i can't get invested into it, there's something in this ship that doesn't make my heart go "fuck yeah they should be gfs". Personally i don't ship yumeko with anyone bc i can't imagine her in a relationship since her main thing is being a compulsive gambler, her existence revolves around it and she forms relationships when they're useful for her gambling games. I think yumary could be friends with benefits for some time, but after a while mary would probably break it off because i don't think she can handle a sexual/romantic relationship with yumeko and after a while it would make her go nuts. A friendship between them is already messy and complicated and honestly i don't think they are compatible that way. Yes they have chemistry and there's probably some mutual attraction but to me it's a no. Also can cishet dudes stop fetishizing this ship ? My vote is 6/10, mostly bc mary doesn't seem much physically comfortable with yumeko, idk mary just seems off with her in that sense and i prefer them as gambling partners or friends.

Meariri

I honestly love this ship, especially after reading the manga, they have such an great dynamic, i think they both care about each other, they have chemistry and i think they're compatible and that their personalities compliment each other, mary is often loud and aggressive and passionate while ririka is more closed off and quiet, they're like fire and ice and this case i think the saying "opposite attract" works with them. Mary counts on ririka and i love the fact that she is so comfortable with her physically (mary is almost always the one to initiate the contact, holding her hand, touching her head, etc) and ririka gets inspired by mary to be her own person and chase her goals. Plus they're really cute together, aesthetically i find them the most attractive couple, i'll give them a solid 9/10

Itsukaede

Lmao i don't even know if this is the correct ship name for itsuki x kaede, ok i don't hate it and i think they could work as a couple, it's not my cup of tea bc m/f ships bore me, but i like their relationship, they have the kind of old married couple dynamic that always works. 6/10.

Ryomeko

I can see it happening, i don't ship it, but i don't mind it either, i'm kinda neutral about ryota x yumeko, but i think he's one of the ppl who care about yumeko the most in that academy (with also mary ofc), the ship is boring bc ryota is bland (he's a good guy don't get me wrong and he defo doesn't deserve the hate he gets) and as i said previously i don't ship yumeko with anyone. Sorry i gotta give it 5/6 out of 10

Yumedari

Ok i love midari but just like yumeko, i don't ship her with anyone bc i see her as someone who's too much unstable for relationships, but i know that canonically she loves/likes/is attracted to yumeko so i don't hate this ship, i think it's decent, the only problem is that yumeko hates midari. Still i think that since they're the most insane mfs in that school somehow this ship could work. 6/10

Yuridari

Again midari in my eyes is kinda unshippable, but this ship is not bad at all, they would have that kind of bickering married couple dynamic like itsuki and kaede, i like it but it doesn't do much for me. 7/10

Ryomary

Jsjssjsksk i looked the name of mary x ryota's ship on wiki so if it sounds weird it's bc i don't know their ship name and i have looked at the first site google gave me. This ship is hard no, mainly bc ryota is very bland and i consider mary a lesbian (i read that she is a canon lesbian but idk if it's confirmed by the author, let's say lesbian mary is just my hc) so shipping her with men feels like a hate crime to me, mary is for the girls only, 4/10.

Tsumary

They are kind of cute together right ? I think they're adorable, tsuzura is mary's first love and i think that someone like her would make mary very happy. I still haven't finished kkg twin, so my opinion on tsuzura is incompleted and it might change, i don't hate her but i find her character a little basic/boring so even though this ship is cute it doesn't make me fall in love with them. 7/10 bc probably also tsuzura had feelings for mary and they have a healthy dynamic, you can see they love each other.

Midasaya

I enjoy this crackship, i know that they both like different people but i headcanon that they were together during middle school or that midari had at least a small crush on sayaka during that time, before kirari came to hyakkaou i like to think that they explored their sexuality together so midari was probably sayaka's first kiss, her first date, etc, so they would have history together and we also see that midari knows sayaka bc her character is described through her pov during tower of doors. I find this ship pretty funny bc sayaka is always so serious and composed and midari is a ball of chaos. 7/10

Yumesaya

This is another crackship i don't mind and find hilarious, yeah i'm a huge kirasaya stan but i'm also a multishipper and sayaka deserves all the girls in the world, so the more the merrier. I like to think this ship as one sided love in which yumeko sort of pines after sayaka and i think it would be very interesting to see kirari being jeaulous that sayaka is getting yumeko's attention. We saw jeaulous/protective sayaka in kakegurui, but i would also like to see how kirari reacts when someone tries to take sayaka away from her, it would be really interesting. Obv this would create some tension between kirasaya and also between kirari and yumeko, almost a sort of love triangle dynamic. My opinion is that yumeko is just too unstable to settle down, also they both probably would get bored/lose interest in each other after the heat of the moment. 6/10

Ririsaya

Sorry but i really can't see it happening not even if i squint, but i really enjoy the ririsaya fanfictions and i think those works are pretty great even though i don't ship them very much. It would be interesting if both twins were in love with sayaka and there was some tension/coldness between them for a while bc they liked the same girl (maybe i read too many fanfictions). My headcanon is that both sayaka and ririka had a crush on each other when they first knew each other and for sayaka it was probably pretty confusing bc she already had feelings for kirari. I see them as friends, 7/10

Yumemisaori

Again idk if this is the correct name of the ship, many said that yumemi and saori are a healthier/mentally stable version of kirasaya and i agree. the dynamics are similar bc we have the secratary that is willing to do everything for her boss and the relationship is a little more balanced, i think they would be very cute together, but sadly they had very little interactions and if i could see more of them i would probably ship them even more. I like them 7/10.

Sachiko x Mary

I didn't even find a ship name for this couple, so they must be pretty unpopular, i like both characters and their antagonistic dyanamic is very interesting, but i don't ship them much bc i think mary needs/wants someone who is completely different from sachiko, who wants to make mary her pet and mary is someone who cares very much about her freedom, her indipendence and wants to make her own choices and this completely clashes with sachiko's extremely sadistic and domineering nature. I prefer them as enemies who have some sexual tension or enemies with benefits or one night stand adventure, but nothing more. 5/6 out of 10 bc the only mary ship i really love is meariri and i also like tsuzumary a bit.

Sachiko x Mikura

This is probably one of the most unhealthy relationships in kakegurui, but i kinda like it. Their dyanmic is pretty much vertical with sachiko who has all the power and makes mikuro do everything she wants and mikura who is completely obsessed and devoted to sachiko (my opinion is that she developed a sort of stockholm syndrome towards sachiko). I think that someone like sachiko could never have genuine romantic relationships bc of her extremely sadistic nature, she sees ppl like toys to break and what she enjoys the most is seeing ppl suffer, so the only compatible person with sachiko is someone extremely masochistic like mikura. Giving them a 6/7 out of 10 bc their interactions are fun/interesting and spice things up.

Rin x Ibara and Yumeko x Kirari

Hard no to both of them, i don't ship incest, yall can do what you want but personally it's a huge no for me. When i first started watching the anime at the beginning i thought yumeko and kirari had some sort of tension and could have been enemies to lovers (lmaoo i was so naive), but then i discovered they were cousins and i saw more kirasaya interactions so i got completely turned off by this ship. 3/10 to both of these ships.

Sachiko x Sakura

Now this ship is very sexy, idk why i like it but i do, yes i don't see sachiko with anyone besides mikura, but this pairing is not bad at all, even though it's a crackship. I think they would be rivals with benefits and would argue a lot and then make out/have hot sex. 7/10 (maybe it's too high but since these are just my opinions i won't be objective)

Mary x kirari

Uhm is there really someone out there who ships them ? Yeah i thought they had some sexual tension in s1 with that tea scene, but it's a no from me, i don't like it and i don't think they're compatible in any way, i can't see kirari with anyone who isn't sayaka. 4/10

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #13

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

[AO3]

((edited because I figured out to add some more history facts that I think are important))

~POV Sinbad~

"The Kou Empire, huh?"

"That is going to make things risky."

With all of the Generals caught up with what happened in Balbadd, they needed to start planning for King Sinbad's trip to the Kou Empire, as well as catching him up with everything that had happened in Sindria while he was gone.

"LadY YamuRAI H AA AA A" A yell came from the hallway accompanied by the sounds of running.

((Sinbad is hidden on the left. There's a hint of him poking out.))

A panting magician gave apologies for disturbing their meeting and ran to the head of Sindria's magicians. "I wish I knew you were here so I didn't search the tower first~" Then he started explaining about some magical proof. Most of his words sounded like gibberish to the rest, but it was clear that he had made some kind of break though.

Yam jumped out of her seat. "How did you finally figure it out?! Who figured it out?!" She whipped her head to her King, "Sorry your majesty," and then looked back to the other magician.

"It was the work of the Prophet!” the magician answered. "We were talking about her illness and she pulled out scrolls that- you just have to read them for yourself!”

Mori had said that she had written other scrolls before she started coping down Fate. This must have been what she was working on.

Both magicians bowed out to go test out this new information. Before they could leave, Sinbad ended the meeting; there was no way he was going to wait to learn what other information Mori had blessed them with. Ja'far followed as did a few of the other Generals.

When they got into the court yard, the doctors that had been sent to take care of Mori were already pushing their supply cart back to their main building. The magician that had stayed behind spotted them and raised two scrolls up triumphantly. "She let me take the scrolls!"

---

News of the scrolls written by a Prophet spread throughout the Black Libra Tower within an hour. Yamuraiha and the doctors explained their significance to King Sinbad.

If even a fraction of the theories in the scrolls proved true it would completely changed their understanding of how illnesses work. If Mori wasn't sick she would undoubtedly be swarmed with questions and demands for proof. According to the magicians, nothing in the scrolls went against any known information. Instead, they gave explanations to why certain things that had been attempted in the past had failed. What she wrote about 'cells' was what really caught the eyes of the white magicians and doctors. As an example, according to Mori's writing there were blood types and most couldn't mix; that would explain why most past attempts at blood transfusions had failed.

The 2nd scroll showed a break down of even smaller particles, and how the structures of different particles made up everything. This was going to bring alchemic magic to a whole new era. Sure, such things would most likely be limited to high magicians, group efforts, and the Magi, but it looked possible now. A lot of common magic of the current day took extreme amounts of magoi in the past because they hadn't found the right formula yet. Mori's writing -if true- could easily be used as a guide to finding the right order of commands for many spells.

And even more than that, Mori had said that she had even more information to share; she had just ran out of scrolls and ink.

Mori's presence in Sindria, and everything that went with it were Fate and the Rukh's guidance. King Sinbad could see it -the future he wanted.

---

~POV Mori~

In Sindria's Palace there is a Great Bell. It is rung during celebrations, and to signify the King returning home like it did earlier that day, but it's main use was to ring every 2 hours to tell everyone the time since clocks weren't invented yet. So even though I was a sick person trying to rest during the day, I was woken up by the Great Bell every 2 hours... which of course is also situated right on top of the guest tower.

For obvious reasons, I was awake again.

I wish I knew how the others responded to the scrolls. I really wanted to know Yam's opinion most. Those scrolls basically gave away the secret to Yunan's signature alchemy magic.

I still had the first scroll I had worked on -the one on the science behind blimps-, and the last science scroll I had started. That one was on DNA, and reproductive systems. It was the last one I started in Balbadd. I hadn't started working on it until sunrise on my 2nd sleepless night and it showed; there were missing words everywhere, many incomplete sentences, and I couldn't stay in topic.

These mistakes were too great to fix with an ink knife. Editing was going be super annoying and time consuming since I couldn't work digitally. I'd have to physically cut up the first draft to put everything in the right order before making the next one.

Wait- Did this world have scissors???

Back home the first evolution of shears that could be labeled as scissors was in Roman barber shops in the last hundred years or so before Rome fell. China would spontaneous also create something akin to scissors not long after. Reim and the Kou Empire seemed to line up with Rome and ancient China for the most part, so I tend to use them to place the time period, but the dress Princess Dunya wears is centuries off and throws all historical accuracy questions out the window. Rome was long gone by the time boning was added to women's undergarments, and that dress had all the signs of boned corsetry.

Fuck it. I'll ask for scissors and if they don't have them I'll just invent them myself. I had been drafting professionally for the past 4 years. That may have been for microelectronics, but it uses all the same skills; I could do this. I needed to get a ruler -or at least a straight edge- and a drafting compass which they probably have based on the look of maps in the series, and pencils, or at least colored inks if they had them. I probably needed to reinvent the French curve(stencil tool used in art & drafting)...

Since I was struggling to fall back asleep I moved to the table and pulled out my test scroll. It was full of random marks and some of my early drawing attempts that I used to practice with the dip pen -it's also where I wrote down the dreams from the Rukh. I'd write the list of things I needed, rip the section out of the scroll, and pass the list to someone who could get me what I was asking for. I added some living necessities too like sleep wear and a comb.

The maids that came to give me dinner, and next dose of medicine were not pleased that I wasn't in bed -I was an important guest who was sick after all. And I wasn't pleased to have to drink more of that bitter medicine, but we can't have nice things all the time, now can we?

My voices was strained but I managed to communicate enough. I gave them my list, and laundry (the clothes I wore on the boat) before they left. They'd get me the things the next day. I was instructed to sleep until someone brings me breakfast the next day... which is what I was going to do anyway since the sun was practically gone. I might be a bit of a workaholic but I'm not going to let myself pull an accidental all-nighter when I know I'm still sick. I'm far more self aware than that.

And besides, the Great Bell didn't ring at night.

---

Maids brought my breakfast (& meds) the next morning and let me know that my clothes would be cleaned and dry by the end of the day. I guess they didn't use magic for everything.

They also gave me all of the drafting and inking supplies I asked for except for scissors. In one of the omakes Sinbad was shown cutting his hair with a knife as a part of his normal grooming. I had hoped he was just old fashioned.

For the greater good and the future of my own hair care, I drafted up detailed designs for a few different types of basic scissors. They wouldn't look fancy, but hopefully I had put enough of a detailed explanation on everything for the smith to figure out what I was asking. Steel wasn't developed until the middle ages and some of the counties of this world matched that so I hoped

that God and anime were on my side. I really wanted scissors that would be a good quality.

And if that didn't work I'd just have to get used to using knives and bladed rollers like a regular person.

The Great Bell rung for 10 am. There were at least another 2 hours before someone would show up, to give lunch, that I could ask to take my draft for the scissors to a black Smith.

I should be resting as a sick person. I should be more exhausted and in pain as a sick person. What was making me recover this quickly?

I still didn't feel like laying back down, so I decided to start drafting up the materials and equipment for proving everything I had written in the scrolls I gave the previous day.

Globally, micro-organisms, viruses, and bacteria were not really accept or proved until the late 1800's. Since Magi seems to take place some time around our 100AD-1300, and Yunan hinting at chemical compounds was seen as shocking by Yam, I knew that my bio scrolls were probably causing an uproar in the Black Libra Tower. I refused to use actual people or wait for an outbreak to prove it like how it happened in history -like how John Snow proved it when finding the cause of cholera outbreaks in 1848 and 1854 England. No, I needed to show how to prove these things in a lab, and to do that I was going to need to explain how to keep samples and invent a way to see microorganisms.

First was for a glass petri dish and other containers for samples. I'd need at least 3 -preferably more. I know glass works have been around since BC, and that this world had glass windows in some scenes, but I worried about the quality of the glass contaminating the experiments. I was going to have to boil them beforehand to sterilize them anyway.

Gosh I wish I had access to nonporous, air tight containers, and a temperature controlled environment. The heat and humidity of Sindria could easily mess everything up.

Wait... I suddenly remembered a scene from the Magnostadt arc when they showed how a sample was being stored. They already had good enough glass. I knew there were magic bio experiments but I had no idea how they worked.

With the realization that I was getting ahead myself, I switched to writing about how to use the scientific method to test for germs. It was basically the bread in a bag test to teach young children about germs but with petri dishes. I also wrote about how to analyze samples with a microscope to see micro organisms so I was going to have to figure that out next.

Lunch came as the perfect break.

Just thinking about reinventing this thing made me nervous. I knew magnifying glasses existed in ancient Rome, but they would be nothing like what I was used to. I had to explain how light moves and made multiple diagrams showing how concave and convex lenses affect light as well as the material of the lens. I ended up also showing how to make a telescope even though I knew Yam already had one.

Magicians were the only ones shown with glasses. Maybe now the rest of the world could have them too.

4 o'clock came and so did 3 doctors and a magician. It was less than yesterday, but still more than necessary to treat or analyze one person. I only recognized one of the doctors from the previous day. All of the new faces looked nervous. None of them looked young by any measure, so I really doubted this was their first time treating someone.

They weren't happy to see me at the table and made me return to my bed -their loss.

The doctor from the previous day was the one doing most of the talking. "Your recovery is amazing. You will most likely be better in another 3 days at this rate if not sooner. It's practically a miracle."

I smiled. "It's pretty shocking for me too." As long as I spoke quietly and kept my comments short, I found I could talk again for a bit.

The doctor was silent for a moment before changing the subject. "I know you need rest, but would you be willing to answer a few questions about those scrolls from yesterday?

The 3 other men looked expectant. This was why they were here.

"I don't mind as long as you don't make me talk too much."

Then came the question I was expecting since I had first made the scrolls. "I know you are a Prophet and the information came from your visions but is there any way you can prove what you wrote?"

I pointed to the table with the scroll I had started earlier. "I can't prove it with the current equipment I have, so I've been drafting up the needed equipment and processes for proving it."

They all turned to look at where I was pointing.

I added, "It's not done, but you're welcome to read what I have so far."

I was thanked as they went to the table they had called me away from when they entered.

'He called it 'visions?' Really?' I had to ask Sinbad later what he was telling his people about me so I could keep the story straight.

The magician confirmed for the others what I wrote about light bending. There was magic to do that, but not everyone is a magician. I had just invented a way for non-magicians to bend light.

Just wait until I show them a prism that can split light into colors. Or teach them how light is perceived in the eye. Or even better, show them the double slit experiment that proves that light is a particle not just a wave... Did they know light was a wave yet?

"Lady Prophet."

I was pulled out of my thoughts.

"You said this isn't finished and there is plenty of space in this scroll for more, but would you let us take this back to the tower so we can get started?"

I wanted to say 'no.' I was still coming up with things to add to it, but I also knew that holding things back because I wanted to save paper was a fool's game. Besides, I could always add more to it later.

I nodded and they thanked me before making me promise not to leave my bed. They were grateful for this new scroll but not at the expense of my health -they were doctors after all.

And then they left.

It was probably about 5pm if my internal clock was on schedule, so I had about an hour before the next ring of the Bell.

Even if I wasn't a man of my word, I would have lost the motivation to work with my current project taken from me while I was still in the middle of making it.

So, I did the thing I grew up doing when I was bedridden from illness: I looked out the window. From the bed I could only see the tops of the buildings on the other side of the courtyard. The Tower that was just poking in from the left had to be the Black Libra Tower.

The waves in Sindria were calmer yet stronger than those in Balbadd. It was probably due to Sinbad's influence. He brought stability and security to his people. I could understand why so many chose to follow him or ally with him. But I knew where all this would lead. As he obtains more power and influence he will stop being able to see himself from the pedestal that he and everyone else put him on; his greed will make him blind to the wants and needs of others, and like a middle aged parent that isn't ready for their child to leave the nest he will take out his frustration on the world that was moving on without him. When Sinbad dies at the end of the manga, Drakon realizes that they all put too much on Sinbad's shoulders.

To change Fate, I was going to have to make sure I never put him on that pedestal nor rely on him for much. And I was going to have to convince the 8 Generals to do the same -or at least to start pulling more of the weight.

The 6 o'clock Bell came faster than I expected, as well as my dinner not long after. They brought my clean laundry, a sleeping gown, and some other common clothes and things for my convenience.

I would have preferred something much shorter for the night gown since I hate having a lot of extra fabric around my legs when I already have blankets. I was not going to risk being walked in on by doctors or whoever when sleeping naked, so I would make do for now.

There was no way King Sinbad wasn't going to reward me for those scrolls. If it was some kind of treasure I'd sell it and buy a new wardrobe for myself that actually suited me, and if the reward was a request then I would ask that he pay for everything directly.

The light coming in my windows changed, and I watched my 2nd sunset in Sindria.

When Sinbad found this island 10 years ago, he completely terraformed it. He didn't get rid of all of the vegetation that was here, but he did break down one of the sides to allow for easier access by boat. The side he carved out faced northish towards all of the other known countries, so no boat would have a reason to circle the island. It was a decision that would benefit the merchants and make it easier to defend.

It also meant that my windows faced west, so I could watch the Sun set every day. I couldn't help but see that as a blessing and a curse. Sure not getting the sunrise meant I'd need to put more effort into

waking up in the morning but that wasn't the part I was worried about.

See- The thing is... I have synesthesia (having 2 or more senses overlapping). I see sounds, letters, and numbers as colors and textures. I have it mild enough that I can normally block it out so it's not too distracting (thank God because music is a main stim), but sometimes I'll hear something and get overwhelmed by how it looks.

Each letter and number is a color. So every voice can make every color, but language, pitch, tone, and accent all affect the colors and textures I see from a person's voice like a filter. There have definitely been some people that I struggled to give my full attention to when I first met them because I was entranced by how their voice looked. The more I hear a person's voice the more I'm able to move its visuals to the background so I can focus -desensitizing myself to it.

Luckily, Sinbad's voice is normally not so distracting that I stop paying attention. Since it's like a merger of every voice actor I've heard play him (All the characters I had met so far were like this.) I'm already desensitized. The similarities across all of the VAs meant that his voice looked like a sunset -full of deep purples and magentas, and bright reds, peach, and gold, and with a smooth and flowing texture like painting in acrylic with a wet brush -like a painting of the last moments of a sunset.

His voice was as pretty as he was.

I hadn't actually gotten to see or hear him for a whole day. But I'd get to look at his voice's equivalent every day while living under his protection.

It was frustrating to admit -I barely knew him as a real person- yet I couldn't deny that I missed him. I feel asleep watching the sun set.

((I wasn't going to write about my synesthesia, but this is my fanfic and I thought it might be fun to reference the colors peoples voices make when the characters talk. I'm not going to paint every VA and head cannon, but I will describe them as I go. Ja'far's Japanese and English VAs have voices that look very different so finding the middle ground is proving tricky.

Also, anyone who noticed that the purple I see in Sinbad's voice is the same as the purple I've been using for the illustrations and comics is super smart and cool.))

[literaphobe]

hi michelle!

could you rate the mcc games pleaseee, i would love to hear your thoughts :)

(also, i hope you're having a nice day!!)

here are my ratings for the games :) only mcc16 but u can ask for non mcc16 in another ask this just got long

sky battle: very pog. i like how u have to run around to various locations to get loot, but also u get to kill people but also u gotta be fast bc oh no the border is closing in!! bridge u little bitch!! jump! fly! run! i think it's cool how it's all up high so u could fall to ur death but also that gets annoying esp towards the end of the game n idk it makes it harder to clutch up bc of how the arena is built so u get many oh :( moments instead of oh!!! moments. plus the thing at the bottom kinda sucks like ok so u jump there as a last ditch attempt but there's no Real thing to save u there so u just die its stupid. make it worth it. i like the three round thing tho :D like its ok that u died u can try again bb!!! and im interested to see more cool ways to kill people in this than just standard pvp like dream used the fishing rod n it seems he has more tricks up his sleeve so im excited to see him 'make them regret allowing fishing rods' like he said. 8/10

battle box: my beloved!! i like the 9 rounds thing where u go up against every team n each member gets a Cool Thing that can help them in special ways. the wool thing is cute too. good game that tests pvp well! i like the maps mostly n the kits r usually cool unless they suck then they like make me go ugh 🙄 9/10

to get to the other side and whack a fan: it's cute bc there's quite a bunch of maps for this n there are 6 rounds so u can still come back even if u fuck up a round. but some maps r annoying bc they are frustrating n not intuitive or they are just annoying or like if u fuck up the first time ur almost guaranteed unable to finish or u get real close n then fuck up n then can't finish or some shit. sad :( i like it when the pov im watching does good but if they don't do good it sucks and the map is lousy >:( but its a very cute game n i think the punching is funny unless the pov im watching gets punched >:( then what the FUCK bro that is SO messed up WHERE is the sportsmanship :/ dhfshsfj 8/10, but that score rises depending on the maps

parkour tag: im glad because it reps parkour but it's got this unpredictability of one person having to catch three different people presumably all running in different directions. a balance of skill timing n luck n also teamwork :) also like battle box i like the 9 rounds. however the scoring is a bit scuffed n unless they change it its always gonna pull down good hunters who don't have other good hunters on their team etc, i can elaborate on this using dream as an example but that would have to be another post. 8.5/10

sands of time: i really like the some of the new changes like how they have brain puzzles in the form of the blue wool thing so it's not just ur skill in the game but also it combines various skills like fighting strategy and maze running and also parkour it is very satisfying to watch but also scary it really keeps u on ur toes and its fun watching people solve stuff and get the coins its like a treasure hunt i love it more just thinking about it... the vaults r cool the sand to give more time is cool n its awesome when the whole team works great n gets themselves a lot of time n farms a lot of coins hehe the downside is it can get terrible if u die or ur teammate dies and ur sandkeeper doesn't communicate well enough n no one gets saved then that is sad :( still tho conceptually i like it a lot n its potential is cool n the suspense of not knowing how well all the teams did until the end is good too 9/10

survival games: this is like sky battle but on da ground and u get a lot more loot but also if u die thats IT like ok too bad u lose no coins no redos u cannot redeem urself u cannot come back time for u watch the other teams play ig :/ like it's too long a game to have three rounds for too so losing means gg n u gotta wait a while. cute maps tho n its fucking awesome if the pov u watch doesn't die :) n they kill a lotta people :) 7/10

build mart: EWWWW 0/10 GJHJGH jk ok i genuinely do think it's a good game even tho there are certain issues like how despite the changes made its still a tad bit disadvantageous to colorblind players and also it can be disorienting in certain ways like depending on how u look at it a part of me thinks its annoying to collect materials n maybe they should just have everything at their disposal another part of me thinks its cool that they go out shopping for their littol building materials flying around n shit or even in the old shopping cart version its like a warehouse they got stone in BULK boys 6.5/10

ace race: god its fun i like the tridents n the BOING noises n how they go Zoom n Fly n Jump i like the pretty maps but i also do hate player collision n some of the glitches but they have fixed that so hopefully all things go smooth soon :) 8/10

hole in the wall: what the fuck its so glitchy. get well soon but it is kinda funny but it has also caused wars to break out. i like the three round thing as usual n i like the various jumping and shifting strats for various holes to go through (hehe) it is a pretty suspenseful game n i do hold my breath at some jumps bc u don't always know when they hit spacebar if they r getting through or dying. 7.5/10

grid runners: i don't fucking know man they haven't played it yet

anyway these ratings could go up or down. it all depends on how good the pov im watching does 👍 hope this helps

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

(pt. 1) as an allo, i will say i experience the things on the first list, but like most of the time. it's not a constant thing where i just constantly get horny seeing or thinking about people i'm sexually attracted to. sometimes when im super not in the mood i don't feel anything, and that feeling can last for weeks. but when i am in the mood, it's that first list on overdrive omg. there's other things going on and not just me being allo (hormonal cycles, etc.)

[I’m gonna jump in with two things. This is long so I’ll put most of it as well as my response under a cut. And if any other allos or gray-aces wanna tell me about how they feel sexual attraction feel free to I am fascinated and confused]

Some of that I get, like libido is attached to hormones as well as mood and general well being at times. And if libido and attraction are linked for you that would make sense. Idk how you would get anything done if you were constantly distracted by this kinda stuff

(pt. 2) so yea i feel the first list semi-regularly, and it can happen with people i've never personally met, or even fictional characters (*stares in yelena from black widow*). and the level of sexual attraction and how intensely i feel that first list, that can differ from person to person. and the intensity can go through ebbs and flows as well. for me anyway it's not a static state of constant high arousal or constant medium arousal or anything like that. there's other factors that go into i

(pt. 3) there's other factors that go into it. but to answer one of your questions yes, this is why some people ask about dick sizes. that visual helps fuel the fantasy more and can increase sexual attraction once there's a visual to attach to the person you're attracted to. for me personally, i can experience that type of attraction, very intensely, for a bunch of different people, some at the same time (this is why on my blog you'll see me jumping from person to person so much). and idk how tm

You know, it occurs to me that I don’t ever picture their dicks? That’s just not a thing that I want to imagine. But I’ll come back to that in a bit. 

(pt. 4) and idk how tmi this is (this whole thing might be so if it is feel free to ignore) but when i'm in my "i wanna be railed and that's the only thing on my mind" mood, i can fantasize about anyone i'm sexually attracted to, or multiple people i'm sexually attracted to, and it'll give those intense orgasms op was talking about. this is part of why i insert myself in reader inserts, bc if i don't i just can't get into it as much.

(pt. 5) i can't always imagine someone i'm sexually attracted to fucking someone else and kinda reading it like a voyeur. often that doesn't do anything for me. i gotta imagine myself in those situations. that's part of the reason i'm so picky when it comes to reader insert stuff (and why it's so easy to get my feelings hurt when there aren't proper warnings). i just really immerse myself and during those times where my hormones make me extra horny, honestly any orgasm i have will be intense

I do know that being more mentally into something makes the feelings better and more pleasurable. And I do remember talking about that. It’s interesting that it makes it better for you. I think you mentioned once something about it tying to who you write for as well. 

But yeah I could never insert myself. If I try and picture myself I get really grossed out (for more reasons than one though) and can’t keep reading. I have to have a disconnect from what I read to some level. I can sort of step into the shoes of the pov character a little bit (and I do get invested somewhat, there are some kinks that that I can’t read about with a reader insert that I would happily read in member x member) but there has to be some distance or I can’t do it. And for writing even more so.

(pt. 6) but especially if i'm imagining doing something i'm into with someone i'm sexually attracted to. and for me personally, it's usually not just looks that'll get me sexually attracted to someone. when i say i like funny people, i mean on many occasions, i can't be sexually attracted to a person unless i find them humorous. this doesn't always happen, but most of the time if you're not funny or i don't enjoy hearing you talk, i can't be sexually attracted to you.

mmmm yes, other factors can go into primary attraction other than just looks. 

(pt. 7) there's a bunch of people i know that, bc of other physical factors that i generally like in a person, i may have been sexually attracted to, but i never have been bc they're just not funny to me. so as soon as someone makes me laugh or smile or i find them humorous, even if i'm just watching them in a video, other factors about them become attractive to me and i end up sexually attracted then. this goes for some ggs where, i like them, but i can't write smut for them bc i don't find

(pt. 8) bc i don't find them funny. this goes for bgs as well, but bc of the difference in presentation this happens more often with ggs for me. this went all over the place so i guess in conclusion, for me, i go feral when people make me laugh and generally have physical traits that i tend to find sexual. i can feel sexual attraction to people based on looks alone, but in general they gotta make me laugh first. and this fluctuates i'm not in a constant state of feral. sometimes i feel nothing.

It is really interesting cuz there are so many things I like in other people but those things don’t turn me on. I realize that I have been using the term feral different from y’all lmao. 

At the moment I’m trying to parse out if, in my last relationship, I wanted sex because I wanted it with him, or because I was comfy with him, it felt good, and I knew he would be caring. At this point like like sex with the right person and I know I desire it in a sensual sense, but not in a person sense (I’ve been in a very don’t touch me mood lately. Like I wanna feel these sensations but I absolutely do not want a person to cause them)

Also I never fantasized about my partners. I can with idols sort of? But there’s a massive disconnect. It’s more of a character with a story line than just, imagining have sex. And any imagining of having sex, suddenly I’m not thinking about their voice or face because doing that makes things supremely uncomfy. I kinda wonder, do y’all fantasize about your crushes sexually? Cuz that was another thing I could never do. If I explored the ideas it just felt really weird and any sexual dreams about friends always make me feel real uncomfy.

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

@misstrashchan​, I’m answering some of the questions you sent me here, bc I have the responses written out (and honestly to avoid making a single super long post).

gonna be honest, it’s probably not a good idea to ask me about something I’m excited about if you don’t want me to give very long answers on the topic that are half excuses just to talk about it for paragraphs and paragraphs

Answers 6-9:

6) Character you think is underrated?

I’m not sure?  Thus far, I’ve largely tiptoed around the fandom (to get a vibe for it before I settle anywhere), so haven’t really gotten a feel for what the general opinions are on all the characters.

.

7) Do you prefer the Juno-centric POVs we had in the first two seasons or the multiple POV's from the whole Carte Blanche in S3?

IS BOTH AN ANSWER? CAN I ANSWER ‘BOTH’? I’M GOING TO AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!

Okay, in all seriousness, I was a little put-off at the beginning of S3 when we jumped from Juno’s POV to the others.  I did miss hearing from him.  But I also really loved hearing from the rest of the Carte Blanche crew too.  There was a lot more shared of them (bc we learned about them from their POVs) than what we just would’ve gotten with Juno’s perspective on them.  So, I got to know everyone better and it was subsequently easier to love them as characters in their own right rather than just companions for Juno.

For instance, I don’t think I would like Vespa as much as I do if I only learned about her from Juno’s perspective.  If I had, I’d perceive her more based on their dynamic (and arguments), but hearing about Vespa in her own voice gave so much more on her character and I love that.

Idk I just really really love it when its clear creators have spent time, thought, and care developing all their characters, not just the main one.  It’s one of my favorite things (and something I aspire to with my own work).  I love getting the vibe that the people behind the story love the world they’re pouring their efforts into.

Also, bc at the same time I did miss hearing from Juno, when he did come back as the POV character, it was that much more exciting!  I missed him and then he was back and it was just so good to listen to because he wasn’t center stage for a bit.

so yeah

8) One hope for S4?

I’m kinda hoping we alternate between what’s happening with Juno and Ruby 7 and what everyone else is up to in prison.  Going off my last answer, I don’t want to give up either the Juno-POV episodes or everyone else’s POVs.

Also, it would be less interesting if they didn’t do anything until Juno shows up for them.

I mean, we could have an epic Juno-plan to free his family, but just as he’s reached the facility where they’re being kept, he finds that they’ve broken out on their own -- ooh oooh oohhh he provides them with the getaway!  So it calls back to him having to leave them behind for his own getaway!  He left so he could come back!  (like Nureyev did for him back with Miasma!)

also imagine the witty banter that could happen if Juno is shocked they broke out

like Rita has already hacked Dark Matters multiple times already so 

Rita: What, like it’s hard?

no wait!  Rita is the one who masterminds the escape too!  Except this time she tells the family about her plan instead of trying to carry it out behind Buddy’s back bc she thinks that’s the best way to help people.

(honestly, that detail from Ultrarobots makes me wonder how much Rita felt she had to do things without Juno knowing to help him bc he’d never have listened to her or accepted the help)

(and it feels so good to know that she’s learning to not do that anymore and also Juno is better at being considerate of her)

.

9) Aaaaaaaaand what exactly are you expecting from the Second Citadel now you've listened to one side of the Penumbra?

I have listened to some of the Second Citadel!  I’ve made it through Knight of the Crown, Lord of the Swamp!  (I haven’t posted about it bc I also started a new art composition that’s proving massively difficult, so haven’t thought to share my responses as much).

So far, I like it.  I’m not overly fond of how the other knights treated Sir Marc (all the trials they came up with to stop him from being knighted), so I’m unsure on liking them.  I think I will eventually.  I have confidence that the character development in Second Citadel will be just as good as it is in Juno Steel.  As it is, I haven’t quite warmed up to them yet.

Also, by looking into Juno stuff online, I was a little spoiled for Second Citadel, so know Damien, Rilla, and Arum (I think I have the names right), end up in an OT3, and I’m really excited to see how that plays out.  Like I think it’s going to be delved into in the next episode I have to listen to (The Treacherous Heart), and I’m excited.

also also this fanart of Olala was one of the first ever Second Citadel things I saw online.  I still don’t know who Olala is, but I want to meet her so freaking badly.  (I’ll probably explode from the anticipation when she does show up).

[skygirl5]

Lucifer Season 5a Thoughts

behind the jump for spoiler reasons....

First of all: I loved this (half) season. Best yet, easily.  and yeah i’m on a bit of a Lucifer high since I binged the entire thing straight through, but it was really, really really good.

When i first saw the trailer I kind of rolled my eyes at “Michael” because I thought it might be a lame twist, but it was so, so, so good. far exceeding my expectations. Tom Ellis did a PHENOMENAL job of playing both Lucifer and Michael and really that’s what totally sold me on it. It’s so good.

Couple random thoughts

first - SO GLAD that Dan knows now, though of course in typical Dan fashion he was all frustratingly annoying about it. and yeah its not totally his fault because Michael manipulated him, but when Dan/Maze/Lucifer rescued Chloe and he was all “[Lucifer] really does care about her” um yeah dude - did you forget like 5 episodes ago when you were like 100% fine with their relationship??? but i am actually looking forward to Dan/Lucifer interactions in the future since everyone is in the know.

Speaking of - Ella needs to find out ASAP!

second - Maze... Maze gets a big sigh from me this season. she’s probably my least favorite part just because i’m a bit over the whole Maze treats everyone like shit routine. I get it she’s a demon and bad things have happened to her. And yes i can see from her POV that Lucifer hiding her mother from her was a betrayal, even if Lucifer doesnt see it that way because he was keeping his word to Lilith. but like come on...this is not how you go about getting a soul.

third... the Deckerstar relationship stuff i think at this point I’d give them a B+ they still have their issues - CLEARLY - and they’re working on them...they can get a bit teenage melodrama at times, but we’ve made some good breakthroughs to this point. I did appreciate the beginning of episode 7 where they were just disgustingly in love with each other - that was adorable. 

so thoughts about Season 5 Part B...

first and foremost I hope God has a serious reckoning with Michael because he is THE WORST. what he did to Chloe was bad but what he did to Amenadiel re: Charlie was absolutely despicable. and so cruel!

I feel like Lucifer saying ILY is going to be a pretty big point of this half of the season, even though I really believe he would have said it if time hadn’t frozen, it’s problematic as he said. I really hope they explore it because I think on the surface people are like the Devil cant say ILY and i think that’s only true for people’s traditional interpretations of the devil. THIS interpretation is 100% different. There is no question about Lucifer loving Chloe. He has proved it time and time again with his actions (even if he, at the time, didn’t acknowledge those actions as being born of love). But he’s scared of saying it, committing it, because he still doesnt fully love himself. He has his own demons to work through on his way there. 

I also kind of hope Lucifer gets some redemption from his father... we know something happened to the demons in hell so that they’re no longer escaping without their King guarding them, but it’s a little unclear - and could have been manipulated by Michael. But i want a Lucifer/Dad chat where they talk about Chloe. i’d REALLY love to see one of the humans meet God bc I think that could be hilarious, but I wont hold out hope for that. but if anyone deserves it, it would be Chloe. 

I also kind of hope we get to see another random bible character or two because that’s kind of fun. (and man that is a sentence i never thought I’d say since i hated bible school as a kid! LOL!)

all in all, great season. Tom knocked it out of the park. can’t wait for more.

[comradeocean]

I haven't read Arya x Gendry in like ... 6 years. I caught up a bit this week. Here are some I really like! 

[30 some fic recs after the jump]

post 8x01 Arya keeps looking for reasons to visit Gendry in the forge. - mmh post episode askbox fic

Somewhere to Begin, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) The Stark sisters share a moment in the wake of some impactful reunions. - lmao my most frequently used GoT tag was "westeROS" (remember Ros???) followed by "Stark famly dynamics." So Stark sisters hashing things out... my kryptonite

Beautiful & Deadly Sharp, vlaurie17 Learning to fight with a sword were some of Arya's best memories. Sansa, however, was hesitant. “What do I do with it?” “Stick ‘em with the pointy end,” Arya smirked. Sansa just rolled her eyes, “Obviously." - also Stark sisters revisiting being Vengeance-made-girls together and practising to knife someone

I'll sing for you, Ravenclawpride06 Set post 8x1. Gendry wants it bad. Arya wants it worse. Was going to more explicit but I left it vague, felt it fit better in the end. All the pining! - I’m soft for the pining

This is my wish, crazychipmink "As he studied the drawing she had given him, he slowly began to let himself believe that she was real and alive and well. He had thought about Arya so many times that the memory of her was worn in his mind. Fragile and faded, like a piece of parchment that had been read too many times. To tell the truth, sometimes, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like, only that she was the only thing he ever wanted, ever wished for.” - season 8 episode companion fic series - ao3 tag: weapons design processes are long and require many iterations - “Davos assumed he was waiting to play his part in the great war to come, but in reality, Gendry was waiting for the next remarkable thing to happen to him. Perhaps if enough remarkable things happened to him, he would finally let himself believe that the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to him had happened.” wow ok

Who are you waiting for? crazychipmink [incomplete] "She had Arya’s face and Arya’s voice and even Arya’s smile. But despite all that, he felt like he had just spoken to a ghost. An unnatural ghost of Arya, pretending to be the girl he was in love with. Gendry had traveled to the end of the world to find her, but now that he finally had, she was gone." - the angst universe evil twin version of the fic above - we will take it bc we love to suffer - and also bc the author promises "fluff" and "eventual romance" ok sounds real but ok

the thing with feathers, yanak324 If anyone is capable of bringing the old Arya back, it’s this man in front of her, which is precisely why she must walk away. - a more (immediately) optimistic read of how Arya's in episode enactments of being No One might have gone

and in the end, jeeno2 [incomplete] Five times Gendry Waters is an idiot and the one time he figures things out. - Gendry being dumb is kind of a thing and I'm not always the biggest fan of how it plays out in fanon but this is sweet!

 The She-Wolves of Winterfell, vixleonard The pack survived. So has the Stark habit of keeping secrets. - 2nd generation Stark girls. Arya's daughter matter-of-factly saying "Stark women don't get married" - a whole ass mood.

Mid-Battle, Mary_West Sandor has something important to say to Gendry - if only Gendry can live long enough to hear it.

season 8 AU My Lady sanctuary_for_all Gendry and Arya find each other again. (AKA the plotline Gendry deserved in 7X07) - fic convention I am 100% here for: Arya scrabbling around Gendry's face looking for the seam. fic convention I am 100000% here for: Arya throwing off her glove in order to do so and then holding her hands against his cheek

Nights are for You (or Five Times Arya Visits Gendry in the Forge and One Time Gendry Visits Arya in the Castle) ASwornStark She hasn’t visited the forge since Jon returned home with the dragon bitch (the Stark sisters’ favored name for her) and him in tow. - reunion fic

season 7 Before We Jump, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) Arya Stark's bastard boys bond on their way to the Wall. - anything for some good rowing references and bastard subjectivity

earlier laughing 'till our ribs get tough (that will never be enough), belasteals "Gendry took one look and laughed so hard that wine came out of his nose, until Harwin gave him a thwack alongside his ear." - A Storm of Swords, Arya IV (or, Gendry's POV on Acorn Hall) - real ones can't get enough of book canon and Acorn Hall.

Butcher, elephant_eyelash Gendry and Arya by the fire, discussing jacket potatoes and thinking murderous things. - perfect meditation on food and hunger and care

Dissimulo, Somnio, jeeno2 She is no one, now. But still the boy with the black hair haunts her dreams. - honestly the showrunners are cowards for not going there. let No One be Vagina Dentata Personified 2kwhenevertheBraavosiseasonsaired

post canon/canon divergent Charcoal, elephant_eyelash All about winter and feeling the cold. - weird how I'm obsessed with self-loathing and wintry alienation and the weight of history and ancestry but also devotion also love. super weird totally unexpected

Five Things Gendry Only Says in the Dark, jeeno2 Where no one else can hear him. - loneliness, shame, self-loathing. the important emotions. oh and spoiler alert some joy.

Like Wenda, Furious_Winter "...she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs." - my favourite canon AUs are Arya and Gendry with the Brotherhood and my absolute favourites of those are when they are apart (who's ever heard of a marauding smith??) but have some of miserable bittersweet understanding and they glower at each other and make each other jealous and everything is unspoken but this is it this singular love they have for each other that doesn't quite work out. I've just realized that most of these recs are highkey angsty oops. anyway, this fic is like the most complete and perfect distillation of everything I want. - also this is so richly detailed and complete in itself. immensely satisfying. - yeah ok Furious_Winter is actually the master of post canon together but not Arya/Gendry love is not always enough fics. I'm just going to recommend all of them: - The Wolf's Head Helm [The Starks are back in Winterfell and Sansa is Queen in the North. One day, Arya receives a gift from an old friend... - Arya is in Sansas's queensguard.]  - A Means To An End (incomplete) [Arya Stark has returned from Essos and has been staying at the Inn at the Crossroads. Things are not nearly as simple as she sees them. - fuck this one hurts so good] - A Bastard At Heart [Arya and Gendry marry other people for the good of the kingdom 'cause they're self sacrificing like that. the last line took me outtt]

the truth is, baby you're all that I need, belasteals “You were jealous,” he laughed, almost shocked. “Arya Stark of Winterfell, jealous of a whore.” - sirens This One Is Not Angsty sirens

A Girl Meets a Boy, Hotpie A girl takes a face; a girl takes a lover. - possibly my favourite Crossroads Inn fic. love the Faceless Man stuff. love the detail of Needle having a smallest spot of rust, from Braavosi Steel Pox and Arya feeling a ways about it. love picking up the Melisandre thread.

So Easy To Love, Val_Creative She misses Gendry's complaining, too enthralled with staring. "You smell like Dennett's underarms," Arya murmurs, leaning in, going for blunt honesty. Gendry opens his mouth, beginning to laugh, turning uproarious and smiling. She's never seen anything more beautiful than this. More kissable than Gendry's mouth. - the summary makes it seem like it's all kissing when there is actually a big chunk of plot - in service of eventual kissing, yes, - but! spoiler alert! they don't even get to it in this fic! not exactly - maybe why I love it a lot??

With Bells in Her Hair, semicolonlife [incomplete] The further south they travel the more Gendry starts to wonder if he truly knows this woman who wears Arya Stark's face. As he begins to doubt himself more and more, Gendry becomes obsessed with the strange bells she wears in her hair. - ruthless slightly wonky Arya is my favourite Arya.

Wayfaring, Rainfallen An accidental series centered on the same basic headcanon of how Gendry found himself in the North and how Arya found her way back to it. - wolf girl Wolf Girl WOLF GIRL

Seen, sanctuary_for_all Being important matters less than who you're important to. - He wasn't sure what that verdict was, however, until she returned the unfinished sword to rest position with a deeply satisfied expression. "I am going to kill so many people with that sword." It was probably a bad sign for his long-term sanity that Gendry felt deeply complimented by that. "Happy to help." my useless heart: pikachu face - see! I like fluffy HEAs too

Hearts, sanctuary_for_all Arya comes home to her family. (Future flash) - look, I just think it's really important that even married and with children, Arya continues murdering people uwu

other AUs/misc I'll Run (Run To You), belasteals “You would rather marry a lowborn knight than a high lord, then?” She grinned, all bared teeth and sharp eyes. “I’d rather marry no one at all, else I'd not play at this mummer’s farce.” “What about the man who outruns you?” “Nobody outruns me.” (Greek mythology fusion: Arya as Atalanta, Gendry as Hippomenes. Arya vows only to marry the man who can outrun her in a footrace) - Atalanta, Mononoke, Arya. same energy.

[crowsent]

👶,⭐,💘, and💻. Love you!!

thank you for ask anon! writer ask game is here if yall wanna send in something. still taking asks for these btw

👶- advice for new writers =

yall this is hella fucking generic but PRACTISE. theres a reason almost literally every writer on tumblr gives the advise of “practise practise practise” and that reason is it works. practise doesnt mean ‘oh just write bc youll automatically get better over time’ it means ‘write bc if you dont, you wont figure out what you need to improve.’ did yall know that i literally had no sentence variation in the past? i started every sentence with [character name] or [character pronoun] and i didnt realise until i was 15/16 and i only realised bc i started writing a lot.

i think there’s a fear of failure with new writers. there’s this lingering doubt of  “what if its not good?” and boy howdy i will answer that question right fucking now. it wont be good. when i compare my current work to my earlier work, my earlier work sucked fucking shit. i spelled soldier with a fucking ‘j’ and i had no idea what the hell a point of view was. and thats okay. whoever tells you that youre going to perfect writing is a fucking liar. there is no perfecting writing. 20 years from now, imma look at the writing from today and im gonna think it sucks shit. writing is a process. its a craft. you get better and better over time and the way you get better is by experimenting w different styles, different genres, different ways of writing.

and the only way you can experiment and improve is through practise. in video games, especially rpgs (which are my favourite kind of video games), you struggle in the early game. youre at a low level, you dont have good equipment, you have a hard time moving to the next area. but the only way you progress is by grinding, gaining levels, and getting stronger. same w writing. if youre a level 1 writer, just starting out, no idea what to do, just experiment. fuck around a bit. write crackships, write rarepairs, write niche self-indulgent reader/character fics. at the end of the day, you should write for yourself. its good and cool if other people like your stuff and validate all your hard work, but at the end of the day, the one who should enjoy your writing the most is yourself.

you WILL mess up and you WILL struggle, but thats the only way you can improve. i struggle with pacing the most. still do. but others might have pacing down pat and struggle instead with word choice or pov or something else. cant figure out where you need to improve if you dont write, so just practise and worry about all the fine print later

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration? =

this is definitely not universal, but i just sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate. cycle through all my emotions and thoughts and filter them out. then i just toss everything out the damn window. like. id just meditate for a while, focus on breathing, on experiencing the present, picture a field and a tree and myself and breathe. thoughts fly by and i let them happen but dont focus on it.

meditating gives me some semblance of emotional control bc i normally have none, and it gives me kind of this space. this safe space that only exists for me and me alone. so i use that space to let the world drift away. just me and my thoughts and sometimes, those thoughts end up being good writing ideas. but i usually meditate for a set amount of time. like 15 minutes or 30 minutes so i dont write until i finish meditating.

then when i get out of my headspace, i open up my laptop and see what i remember. thinking too hard about something causes it to muddy up. same with art. in digital art, artists flip the canvas to refresh their eyes, see if there’s anything weird or wonky about the illustration that they normally dont see bc theyve gotten used to it. flipping the canvas is like giving our eyes a jumpstart and lets us see what we could do better. in traditional art, its turning the canvas this way and that or repositioning yourself. meditating is like that. a break. a cleanse. a kind of pause where you dont think about anything and just try to process what you already have. you relax and kind of let yourself float down a river of thoughts and sometimes, a fish would jump out of that river and youd go “hey, thats a good idea. i should try that” so when you get out of the river, youre refreshed and ready to go.

same principle with showers. more ideas come to you in the shower when you dont have anything to write with bc youre not thinking about it. youre not focusing on finding inspiration or motivation so ideas naturally flow through you. you know that feeling when you want to do x then someone comes along and says “hey you should do x” and suddenly all motivation to do x leaves? same w your brain. focus too much on “i should be writing” or “i want inspiration” and its never gonna come. just let things happen. at least, thats how i do it. some people might get inspiration by reading or watching tv. everyones different so if thats not what works out for you, dont feel pressured to try my method

💘- what’s your favorite AU? Least favorite? =

magic au. specifically fantasy au set in like a pre-modern era. shows like avatar where theres all this magic and fantastical beasts and so on and so forth. semi-modern like six of crows and nevernight are great too. i want that magic to be woven into people’s lives. harry potter is okay but there’s like this separation between magic and muggle. there’s this feeling of “magic” but like as a tool. like a spoon or a gun or a shovel. i want magic au’s that are INTEGRATED with the world its set in.

like in atla, earth kingdom people have trains they move with bending while fire nation people have machines powered by heat and steam. both correspond to their bending and makes sense for the world they live in. but if your plot is like harry potter and its less worldbuilding and more action, then there’s this book series called seasons rising (read it. so good) where there’s a bunch of spells but the spells have character. the people using the spells GIVE it character and it feels much more intimate. pokemon does the whole fantasy mixed w reality better. give two trainers the exact same pokemon and by the time that pokemon reaches lvl 50, its gonna have a different moveset, different fight style, etc bc it was shaped by the world and people around it. i like harry potter but tbh it could have been so much better

for the least favourite au, it’s A/B/O i dont like the whole “omegas are only good for breeding hurr durr” and “alphas are violent and aggressive and cant control themselves around omegas” thing and it squicks me out. major squick. i read the original harry potter squick (THAT one. yeah. you know the one) and i still hate a/b/o more. i get why people like it, and there are one or two fics set in a/b/o au that i enjoy reading, but as a whole, i severely dislike a/b/o fics.

the themes are squick, the character dynamics get so messed up, and shipping dynamics (bc a/b/o fics usually have shipping) just get so blown out of proportion. there are so many a/b/o fics that turn ooc or the character interpretations radically change or something else. no hate against a/b/o fans bc yall are amazing for writing/drawing yalls au. there are things that you can only do in this setting and exploring those things can be incredibly fun for people, but for me personally, its not an au i like to visit.

💻- three works of yours that are must reads =

i. dont know what fandom youre in anon or your genre preferences. so ill just rec you one fic for a different fandom each with kind of different genres. ts masterlist is on my side @hufflepuff-deceit and regular fanfic masterlist is on my writing blog @crownonymous 

(BNHA) Viper. its my first serious attempt at fanfic in YEARS and its my baby. currently has 7 chapters, i havent updated it in a while bc im hyperfocused on ts rn, but i love it to bits. its just all of my fav bnha fics crammed into one fic. quirkless kind of villain izuku with stain as a mentor as they work together to bring light to the injustices of hero society and where bakugos bullying has visible and long-lasting repercussions? sign me the fuck up. you can read it on ao3 HERE bc its not on tumblr. kind of fast-paced, has a lot more action scenes than anything else ive written. heavy plot-wise but has a lot of humour and comedy to break things up

(Kimetsu no Yaiba) I Pray To God He Hears You. not related to my other kny fic oleander which is a multichap retelling au. iptghhy is a standalone one-shot and kind of a character study on one giyuu tomioka. i love him so much. giyuu is my baby and i adore him. so of course i wrote a sad fic focusing on him. well technically, the fic focuses on giyuu AND his relationships.  SPOILERS for chapters 130 and 131 of the manga. focuses mostly on giyuu and sabito, but there’s a fair bit of giyuu and tanjiro and urokodaki.  you can read it HERE bc this is also not on tumblr. also deals with heavy things but more emotion-wise since it doesnt have that much of a plot. loss. grief. moving on. survivors guilt. that kind of stuff.  very sad. hurt but with comfort, especially at the end.

(Sanders Sides) Logan’s Birthday Fic: Logicality. just what the title says. i wrote 5 different fics and published them all on logans bday but the logicality one received the most feedback and honestly? the cutest of the bunch. its gonna be crossposted onto ao3 but for now, you can read it HERE on my ts sideblog. theres no plot since its literally just domestic and relationship fluff. and puns. patton is in the fic, theres gonna be puns. nothing but good things and warm feelings bc logan deserves it.

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thank you so much for such interesting asks anon! i enjoyed answering these. have a lovely day!

[yikesola]

Phanfic Finder Fest 🥰✨

this was such an outstanding challenge, i loved digging into tags i wouldn’t usually (lookin at you, tentacles 👀) and finding pieces that fit the trope but often w a little twist— it was also interesting to see things i’d assume had loads of fic written for it (like Portugal 🌞) don’t have quite so much as i’d have figured ..... and now i’m itching to write and rectify that! i also loved digging into pieces that haven’t been commented on in years and that i might have missed out on if not for the fest 💞💞

1. Fake Relationship

“Everlasting Friend” (6k, M) by @tortitabby 

this is a trope that always delivers, i feel, so it was pretty hard to pick among so many great ones. in this fic, i especially love the motivation behind the fake relationship (phil wanting to just Show his family that he’s queer by bringing a boyfriend home, it feels very relatable, kinda mirrors what my own plan for coming out was tho i didn’t drag a friend into it alsdfjdjs) dan’s struggle was so well done, and i always dig a penpal plot! 👏😭

2. Dirty Dancing / Grinding

“build me up (like a sandcastle)” (1k, M) by @i-am-my-opheliac 

god there’s so much to love in this teasingly saturated fic 😩❤️ the atmosphere in this is so dreamy and ethereal, and often i’d think of a piece w this vibe as “cinematic” but this somehow feels even more intimate than that. the alcohol and the weed and the sweat and the sand, the whole piece really seems to exist in slow motion— it’s like a music video 

3. ft. Dan’s Family

“Formula Won” (3.3k, G) by @jamie-with-a-g  

love this fic’s sense of pacing and use of flashbacks (also love its justification for dan’s admittedly most het interest ✌️) and the blips we get of karen and baby adrian. i really loved this fic’s approach to dan’s father— it’s a very human take on dan’s father, where instead of a parent being placed on a pedestal or demonized, things are allowed to be more complicated than that. 💞

4. Tentacles

“Love a Good Tentacle” (386, M) by @maetaurus  

this was a short but sweet piece that let’s the reader fill in the blanks for themselves and works really well with the dialogue we have from the final golf video. was this an example of my timidity that i chose a tentacle piece w no sexual content and merely suggestive themes?? maybe! but it was a good fun fic for all that 💁🏻

5. Fic Set in 2011

“care for me when i’m drunk” (1k, G) by @boofphil

love this era, especially as it seems people tend to jump from 2009-2010 honeymoon days right into 2012 angst, and this was just such a tender and loving 2011 piece that really really works 😘 i especially adored the small moment when phil first calls and dan’s ready to laugh w him about how drunk he is, but dan immediately drops that when he realizes just how unwell phil is. very good taking-care-of-you conent :))) 

6. Portugal

“wouldn’t it be nice” (780, T) by opendoor

i wish i could have found the author’s tumblr, but this fic was an absolute delight that manages to capture the eagerness of dnp early days on this trip. it’s such a dreamy fic and i love just how enamoured phil is while also being nervous bc everything still feels so new, that momentary panic that occurs when you think you’ve siad too much but then dissipates when the other person says too much as well 😭😭 they cute! 

7. Cooking Together

“dinner for two” (1.5k, G) by Wiley(doubledoubleu)

this was suuuuuch a cute fic, and i’m terribly sorry i wasn’t able to find this author’s tumblr either, but this university au is just delightful. it’s maybe a stretch to call microwave dinners “cooking together” but i’m willing to make that stretch. ✌️❤️ i love that it was born out of this idea that like “no no, we’re just doing this because it’s convenient” even while they’re so smitten w each other 

8. Sex Toys

“it felt wrong (but it didn’t take long)” (1.7k, M) by @dipnpips  

have been on a wlw-dnp high since the feb fest and was so so pleased to stumble upon this one here! 👩‍❤️‍👩👯 i love Phreya‘s confidence throughout, and also loved what the fic had to say about the idea that Dani can be into sex while still being initially uncomfortable w the idea that she deserves pleasure as well, it’s a concept that perfectly balances Dan’s sense of not deserving some things w how different his experiences would be through the lens of womanhood. 

9. Multiple Orgasms

“let our bodies make memories” (3.4k, E) by @symmetricdnp

this is a fic that really stands out to me among the use of multiple orgasms where it was kinda situational and spontaneous— i feel usually the trope is utilized as part of a scene where the characters very much intended multiple orgasms, and there’s just something infinitely charming about the surprise involved in dan going for two here. their bants and characterization are perfection; i really love this one 🙌✨

10. First Person POV

“my talents include...” (1.3k, G) by @knlalla

first person POV is tricky to master but boy oh boy has ms katie done so 💞😭 this is such a cute explanation for a classic danny emo tweet, and i really really love that moment where dan, after having felt needy for the entire fic, immediately feels a little silly once phil asks him what’s going on. because even while wanting attention, sometimes it can feel like too much to ask for it. and i love that phil so readily gives it to him anyway! 

[samwinchesterappreciation]

I'm so tired of seeing people blame Sam for not looking for Dean when he was in purgatory but then turning around and saying Sam is stupid for having hope that Mary is alive. WELL WHICH IS IT?

I’ve gotten so many questions about this, I’m going to consolidate my answer here because I’m tired of rehashing the same arguments against s8!Sam every damn season. Not even because it was 5 seasons ago and objectively worse grievances have been perpetrated against Sam since without even an ounce of the same outcry as s8 warrants from fandom, but because it’s so obvious in canon that Sam is not at fault for thinking Dean was dead at the end of season 7. So one last time with feeling, here we go.

Even if you take out the factor of where Sam was mentally at the end of s7, it is absurd to think Sam’s a horrible brother for not thinking to look for Dean in Purgatory. Or hell, for not thinking to look for Dean at all because Sam had no reason to think Dean was alive. Sam plainly stated in 8.01 that he thought Dean was dead, which should have ended the blame game then and there, but instead it’s brought up seasons later as something Sam still needs to ~atone~ to Dean for.

Think about it logically for a minute. Chuck created Purgatory to contain the leviathan, and it later became the final resting place for monsters when they die. In 7.23, Dean stabbed Dick Roman in the neck with that bone thing, effectively killing him when he exploded into black goo. It makes sense that Dick went back to Purgatory. If the explosion killed Castiel, logistically we know now that he’d end up in the Empty, the final resting place for angels and demons (a concept which did not exist until s11). If the explosion killed Dean, it would make sense to think he was in Heaven. Unless Dean was a monster, why would Sam think he was there? Same goes for Castiel.

There is no precedence for Sam to think “Dick died in an explosion of black goo, clearly that means he took my brother and my friend with him back to Purgatory.” Killing ghosts, or werewolves, or poltergeists, or Azazel, or vampires, or hellhounds, or gods, or Lilith, or angels, or Abaddon never resulted in also sucking any persons in the vicinity at the time to whatever realm the creature got sent back to. Saying Sam should have known that Dean was alive in a different realm is like saying Sam & Dean should have known Bobby was trapped in Hell ever since he walked into the light, or that Cas was really living as a married amnesiac healer after Leviastiel in Jimmy Novak’s rapidly deteriorating vessel walked into a lake, or that Purgatory is a backdoor to Hell. These plot points aren’t known to the boys or the audience until the narrative chooses to make them clear bc lazy writing.

Even if by some chance Sam had a logical reason to think Dean was in Purgatory, he would still have had numerous ethical reasons for not pursuing that lead:

1. Sam just saw the after-effects of his friend opening up the portal to Purgatory. Aside from the whole power-hungry-wrathful-godstiel-that-broke-Sam’s-brain-as-a-diversion thing, it unleashed creatures onto the earth that Death said in 7.01 that Chuck was afraid would “chomp the entire Petri dish,” the entire reason he locked them up in the first place. These are the same monsters that already killed two of the only people in the world Sam had after his brother: Bobby and (albeit temporarily) Cas.

2. After what Sam has been put through both in-show and in-fandom for breaking the last seal of the Apocalypse by killing Lilith, something Dean & Bobby both also wanted to do and didn’t know the true effects of until Cas came clean to them at the last minute, it is frankly fucking hypocritical to claim that Sam should have thrown reason & morality to the wind and risked the fate of the world to get Dean back. Historically, things don’t go well when the brothers go to any lengths to bring each other back. Especially considering the deal Sam and Dean made to prevent them from repeating history. A deal it’s unfair to expect Sam to go back on, especially since Sam does not want Dean to go back on his word when Sam dies. [It’s not OOC for Sam not to renege on the deal either because while Sam will put himself on the line, he never intentionally puts Dean’s autonomy on the line against Dean’s wishes. Sam backed off with his zombie solution in 3.15 and he said he wouldn’t let Dean be possessed against his will in 9.13. Unselfishly respecting his brother’s wishes doesn’t mean Sam doesn’t love Dean or is a bad brother. Just the opposite, in fact.]

3. I hate thinking of it this way as much as the next person, but if Sam even had reason to think Dean was in Purgatory with all the monsters that ever died, it makes sense that eventually Dean would die there and go on to Heaven, the final resting place Joshua promised Sam and Dean in 5.16 they would end up in once they died. So it would be painful for Sam to know Dean was there, but the best solution would have been to let him be. Similar to when Sam jumped in the Cage to stop Lucifer and Michael. It was painful for Dean, but the best solution for the good of everyone was to let Sam be.

I’m going to skip right over the fact that Dean knew/repressed the fact that Cas was still alive in Purgatory when he told Sam that there was no chance he wasn’t dead (are you seeing a parallel here? because you should be) and move right on to the Mary situation. Here’s what Sam, Dean, and the audience know at the start of season 13:

1. Mary pushed Lucifer back into the rift to the alternate universe, but he dragged her with him in 12.23.

2. The brothers saw neither their mother nor Lucifer die or explode into black goo or get stabbed in the neck with a bone. They saw 2 resourceful people get sucked into an alternate universe.

3. Lucifer has had multiple opportunities to kill Dean, Sam, and Castiel since mid-season 11. But he didn’t, even when he has threatened to do so. Hell, Lucifer was even allied with Team Chuck and lived in the bunker with the brothers for a period and Sam was actively terrified of him with good reason, but Lucifer still didn’t physically try to kill any of them when he needed or wanted something from them.

4. Lucifer wants Jack and knows the brothers have him. The boys want Mary and know she was with Lucifer the last time they saw her.

To conclude, Sam and Dean have more reason to believe that Mary is alive somewhere in the alternate universe than Sam ever did to believe that Dean was alive in Purgatory. And if Dean’s mental state is an excuse for him thinking Mary was dead, please consider Sam’s as well at the end of both seasons 7 and 12. Sam’s grief and trauma is, outside of rare occasions, never as explicitly shone as Dean’s is, but that doesn’t mean it canonically doesn’t exist. Dean has always been the emotional lens of the show, but that does not make him a reliable narrator. His feelings of betrayal or hurt aren’t the word of God, and they don’t mean you can’t discern Sam’s from what we are shown in canon. I say this as someone who would give a kidney to see more of Sam’s emotional POV, you can discern where Sam is coming from in season 8, you just have to pay attention. 

That’s not to say Dean deserves blame for thinking Mary is dead because 1) I’m not trying to assign blame, just defend Sam and 2) there is certainly a chance that she could have been! But I assure you that when the brothers are reunited with her, Mary (and the fandom) will not blame Dean for believing she was dead and trying to move on rather than look for her. All I’m asking is that the same courtesy be afforded to Sam post-season 7.