#because there’s no new content and I’m rewatching the show for the first time in years

[lovelettersfromluna]

The Summoning

summary: so now you’re fucking your roommate on the regular, what could possibly go wrong? It’s just for the camera, right?

an: You guys!! I’m so so happy with the feedback if received for the first chapter of this fic, I want to give you guys as much camgirl!Ellie as I possibly can. So, as before, let’s keep this short and sweet so we can get into it, love you so so so much (also shout out to everyone’s comments and asks on what they wanted to see for this chapter! Yoi all helped me sm! You all know who you are hehe)

warnings: smut!! 18+, MDNI, camgirl!ellie, roommate!ellie, biker!Ellie (there’s lots of tropes in this one lol), JELOUS!ELLIE, mentions of an older woman but it’s so brief, mentions of alternate love interest, face sitting, fingering, filming of intercourse, use of strap, mentions of the word cock, ANGST!, slight fluff??, lmk if I missed anything!

You can read part 1 here!, and part 3 here!

A soft puff of air blew past your lips as you finished organizing the last shelf of records, your eyes looking down at the remainder vinyls that most definitely wouldn’t fit into any of the space you had.

God you hated the holidays.

Well you didn’t, you loved the colder months. It was so cozy, and welcoming, however you hated it as a retail worker. With the changing of the seasons came your manager with boxes of new vintage records that he explained were in high demand for the customers coming in and out of the city, all of which you had to change out and organize from the last collection you’d had for the summer time.

So the holidays were fine, just not when you were working.

Not to mention, the only thing plaguing your mind these days was a specific brunette who had quite the tongue on her.

After that night, Ellie had you rewatch the video, making sure you were okay with it, and it was okay to post. It was weird, because you’d never really seen yourself that way. You never moan too loud, or put on too much of a show during sex, it just was what it was, and it wasn’t ever really done with an audience in mind. But seeing yourself in Ellie’s lap, her strong hands running up and down your body, working on your pussy like a fucking pro, you had to admit.

You looked damn fucking good on camera.

And you weren’t the only one that thought so. After you gave Ellie the okay to post and edit the video, the response was amazing. Gone where the comments asking where Ellie’s usually girl was, missing the chemistry they had, her whiny moans and pretty body, all of which were replaced by a sea of comments and donations coming in, all on your behalf. They asked Ellie to please keep you around, putting in suggestions of what they wanted to see next, what they wanted to see her do to you, next.

Ellie wasn’t wrong, the crowd fucking loved you.

So? You filmed another video. And another, and another, and another, until you and Ellie had created nearly an entire box set of home movies for her adoring fans, all of which had become your adoring fans practically over night.

And fuck, did Ellie know what she was doing.

Sure, you’d had your fair share of good sex in the past. Your ex was pretty good with her hands, and there was that one girl you were seeing for a few months, she was okay with her strap.

But Ellie? Jesus Christ, you quickly caught onto why Julia acted the way she did after Ellie was done with her.

It was all you could think about, the way that Ellie treated your body when you were filming. The way she never failed to pay attention to every part of you before herself, the way she kissed you, the way her hands ran down your body, the way she simply knew how to pleasure a woman.

And it wasn’t like there was any real harm in any of it, right? In helping your roommate with her line of work? That’s what it was after all. You helped Ellie make her content, and she fucked you until you could barely think straight.

In simpler terms, Ellie knew how to fuck, and she knew how to fuck good. Filming with her only further proved that.

Your eyes scanned the record store once more, a stack of records in your hands as you tried looking for another place where these god forsaken vinyls could go. You were close to simply shoving them underneath the cash register, calling it a night and going home before the drunk tourists eager to visit the city got in your way of getting to your bus stop.

You spotted a spot on top of one of the shelves, which made you huff softly in annoyance. You usually avoided it since you couldn’t reach it, vowing to never put yourself out of your way for a bunch of records no one will want to buy, but there weren’t many and you figured you already had them out, so might as well finish what you started.

As you struggled to push the records up into the tall shelf, you heard the little ding at the front door of your shop over the soft music that you had playing. You couldn’t even bother to turn around, knowing it was most definitely some drunk idiot trying to buy a last minute gift for someone.

“Sorry…we’re…fuck…we’re closed” you huffed out as you struggled even further, the tips of your fingers finally pushing one of the records up and sliding it into place. You didn’t even realize you didn’t hear the usual apology paired with the bell ringing again, signaling that the person had left.

It wasn’t until you felt a hand push into the sliver of skin that was slightly exposed between your jeans and your top, making you shriek loudly and recoil from the persons touch. Once you turned around, you were prepared to smash the stack of records you had over the idiots head who thought it was okay to come in and touch random girls while they worked.

But you only came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes that you seemed to constantly see, even when she wasn’t around.

You let out a soft gasp, reaching forward and landing a not so friendly punch on her leather clad arms, a soft huff leaving your lips as you watched your roommate snort softly at you, trying to stifle a laugh.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Ellie?? I could’ve dropped these” you whine, looking down at the disheveled records before you turned around, going back to trying to pushing them back into their spot.

Ellie sighed softly as she came down from her laughing fit, setting her helmet down on the row of records next to her as she leaned against it. “Shouldn’t you be locking the door once you’re closed? Sounds like a safety hazard to me” she hummed out, clearly trying to get under your skin.

You could practically hear that stupid fucking smirk on her lips, which makes you roll your eyes, even if she was right.

“I had a customer before I started putting these away…I’ll lock up once I’m finished” you explained, still struggling with the second record you had, which makes Ellie chuckle softly.

She pushed herself off of the row she was leaned up against before she stood behind you, her chest pressing against your back, one of her hands resting on your hip, giving it a gentle squeeze, before she reached up with ease and pushed the record in with ease.

You let out a soft huff softly, looking down at her hand on your waist before you turn around, looking up at her and narrowing your eyes at the girl. “Is that really necessary?” You question as you gesture to her hand, which only makes her shrug before bringing her hand down and giving your ass a firm squeeze, “not at all. Gimme those and go grab your stuff, I’m taking you home” she explained before she promptly took the records and put them away on the shelf for you.

You simply stare at her in disbelief, watching as she put away the records with ease. She looked over at you, nodding her head towards the back where she knew you kept your stuff while you were working. “Go on. I don’t wanna get stuck in traffic” she explained, which makes you roll your eyes at her before you stomp off to go and grab your things.

Damn her for being so fucking hot.

Soon, you had your jacket on and your bag was slung over your shoulder. When you walked out to the store front to shut off the lights and the music, Ellie was scrolling through her phone, leaned up against the cashier, seemingly waiting for you. She gave you a soft smile when she noticed you were there, pushing her phone into her pocket. “Ready?” She asked, moving to grab her helmet.

You nodded, returning the soft smile before you grabbed the keys, nodding your head towards the door. “Ready” you confirm.

She followed behind you, waiting for you as you locked up the store before leading her out.

You shivered slightly when you both step out into the cold air, watching as the lights of the city illuminate the street, welcoming everyone who was in need of a night out. You just wanted to get home.

You watched as Ellie walked in front of you, setting her helmet down before she opened up her seat to grab her spare and handing it to you before she put hers on and swung her leg over her bike to get on.

Usually, Ellie didn’t pick you up from work. She was most likely busy filming with Julia, finishing up far too late to meet you at work. Sometimes, she’d be in the area and she’d pick you up, but that wasn’t something that happened quite often for you two.

But, ever since you took Julia’s place, Ellie had been picking you up a lot more often.

You took the helmet from her, putting it on your head before you got onto Ellie’s bike, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your head along her leather clad back. You heard a soft chuckle muffled by her helmet, her head turning to the side a bit as she felt you cuddle into her from behind.

"Don't need to tell you to hold on tight, do I?" She teased, which earns a soft pinch to her side from you.

Before you know it, Ellie is turning on the engine to her bike, revving it a bit, and you two are speeding down the streets of the city towards your apartment.

The feeling of the cold breeze kissing your exposed skin as Ellie drove you both down the streets made your blood pump. It was fucking stupid, but drives home with her had a way of truly making you feel alive for a bit.

You’d never tell her that, though. It would blow her head up way too much.

Ellie had a tendency to show off in many aspects of her life. One of those manifested whenever she was on her bike. She’d rev her engine when she saw a group of pretty girls, tattooed hands gripping the handles of her bike as she watched them swoon over her. She’d get a kick out of it whenever they’d squeal over her, trying their best to call her back, an attempt at trying to get her to turn around and give them more attention.

You thought it was stupid. It was just Ellie on a bike after all.

Ellie stopped once she reached a red light, her back straightening out a bit as she rested one of her hands on her thighs, patting a mindlessly rhythm into her jean clad leg as she waited for it to turn green so you could both get moving again. Your hands loosened a bit on her waist as you waited as well.

You noticed from the corner of your eye a car pulling up next to you. It’s a sleek black 1969 dodge charger, the lights of the city bouncing off of the shiny paint. It isn’t too flashy, but enough so that anyone can appreciate. You can’t help but gawk a bit at the beautiful car, not at all noticing the window slowly rolling down.

You hear a whistle, which catches both yours and Ellie’s attention. In the car, is an older woman. You took not of her features, noticing how pretty she was, long hair tucked up into a bun, body adorned in what you could only assume was an expensive suit. You notice her lips tugged beneath her teeth as her dark eyes bore holes into your direction, and you can only assume she’s gawking at Ellie, as one usually does when she’s out on her bike. As you look closer, you realize she isn’t looking at Ellie.

She’s looking at you.

And you can’t even deny that your chest doesn’t warm up, because she’s clearly extremely beautiful. Her strong, ring clad hands gripping the steering wheel as her eyes travel down your body. You didn’t think that when you tugged on your favorite pair of jeans and your old brown jacket that same morning that you’d be getting attention from anyone, let alone from a fucking rich milf in the middle of the road.

But you aren’t the only one to notice, because you feel Ellie shift forward, her own hands going back to grip the handle bars of her bike, her head never leaving the direction of the woman who’s shamelessly undressing you with her eyes. You gasp softly underneath your own helmet when the feeling of Ellie revving her bike catches you off guard, ripping you away from the trance the woman has you in. You turn your head to look at Ellie, hands tightening a bit around her waist to prepare your take off.

But Ellie’s head never leaves the woman.

This catches the woman’s attention, and she merely chuckles softly before she sticks her hand out her window and gives Ellie a slight wave, as if to silently tell her she’d back off. The light turns green, and while you think that’s the end of it, you catch a glimpse of the woman sending a wink your way before she zooms off, which prompts Ellie to do soon after, just as fast, knuckles turning white as she gripped her handle bars.

If you weren’t holding on tight enough to Ellie, you’d probably have gone flying.

When you both get home, you decide not to question the very bizarre interaction you both had with that woman, figuring it was just Ellie being Ellie, and there wasn’t really anything to it anyways.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

It makes it even stranger that when you both walk through the door, Ellie doesn’t show a single sign of annoyance, which makes you feel like you’re hallucinating even more than you were before. She’s walking into the apartment, tugging off her jacket and tossing it on a nearby chair, and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before plopping down onto the couch.

So yeah, you’re probably just tired.

You let out a soft hum as you tug off your own jacket before hanging it up, grabbing Ellie’s and hanging it up as well. She had a bad habit of shedding her layers off as soon as she got through the door.

You stand before Ellie in the living room, her legs spread as she babysits a bottle of water, eyes never leaving yours. You watch as she pats her lap quietly, which forces you to give her a look of disbelief.

Usually, you’d have a witty remark for that sort of gesture from Ellie, which would often times be paired with a pillow to her face. But there’s simply something about the way her legs are spread out on the couch, looking so fucking inviting, that makes you quietly follow her orders, and straddle her lap.

Now, most intimacy was supposed to be saved for the camera, it was an unspoken rule of filming with Ellie, or it was a rule you set for yourself. Apart from warming up before filming, letting Ellie get you nice and wet for her before you got on camera with her, there wasn’t really a reason to have any sort of intimacy with her. Things were supposed to go back to normal when you weren’t on camera, back to how things were as roommates.

But, you’d be lying if you said that’s how it was. You and Ellie had always had an affectionate relationship, one that never went without cuddling, caressing, even crashing in your bed from time to time when she couldn’t sleep. You were no stranger to Ellie’s strong hands on your body, because that was just Ellie. She had a thing for gripping and groping, always wanting her hands to be occupied with something whenever you were near, you assumed that’s how she was with everyone.

There just seemed to be something about getting regularly fucked by Ellie that made the intimacy take a different level, a different course that made things feel…different.

And of course, there’s no harm in that. You watched Ellie kiss Julia goodnight every time she left the house, always taking an extra few minutes to hold her when they were done. If they could do it, why couldn’t you two do it?

Ellie let out a soft hum of approval when you straddled her lap, disregarding the water bottle so that both her hands were free to grip your hips, pulling you closer to her. Your hands went around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck as she pressed her face against your neck, giving your skin a deep inhale.

“Missed you today…” she mumbled softly against your skin, which makes you roll your eyes playfully, yet still keeping her close. “You saw me this morning before I left” you argue softly, which only earns a soft whine from Ellie, you can feel her lips form a pout against your throat before she presses soft kisses to it.

“So? Still missed you” she explained, her voice low as she spoke. You can’t help but giggle softly, staring down at the girl as she litters your throat with soft kisses.

But this feels way too fucking intimate, even for you and Ellie.

You clear your throat, tugging her hair back a bit to force her to look at you, which makes Ellie groan softly, half in annoyance, and half in pleasure. She loved it whenever you did what you wanted with her.

“We filming tonight?” You ask quickly, a sorry attempt at trying to interrupt this soppy little scene you and her are having.

You see a flash of something ripple through Ellie’s green eyes, something you can’t quite put your finger on, because she’s changing her expression much too quickly, giving you and eager nod as her hands go from gently caressing you, to gripping your ass tightly. This makes you whine softly in her lap.

“Eager to have me…aren’t you baby” she chuckles softly, the shift in her personality clear as her eyes quickly darken with lust. You swallow nervously, always feeling small in front of Ellie whenever she looked at you that way. You feel the way she slowly begins grinding your hips down into her lap, strong hands gripping you and moving you as she pleased. You can only nod, your lips forming a gentle pout before a gentle sigh leaves them.

“Always…” you moan out softly, which makes her smirk up at you proudly. You’d gotten so good at voicing what you wanted these past few weeks, it made warmth pool at Ellie’s core.

She gives your ass a firm spank before she nodded her head towards her room. “Go get the camera, baby” she ordered gently, that delicious tone of dominance lacing her words, you quickly followed her instructions, getting up from her lap and going to her room to get the equipment.

That was another thing, with your new presence in Ellie’s work, came a change of scenery in her videos.

Ellie usually kept her videos and streams exclusive to her bedroom, having the common courtesy to not fuck all over your shared apartment. But now that it was just you two, there was a new sense of freedom when it came to filming with you. It happened one day when Ellie was finger fucking your pussy on the couch, and had the bright idea to grab her camera, because it was just too fucking good to not hit record on.

Once again, another example of intimacy outside of filming.

You returned with all of the filming equipment, never knowing what Ellie had planned for a shoot, so instead opting to bring everything so she could choose from.

Ellie smirks softly as she sits up from her spot on the couch, eyes low and filled with lush as you walk back into the living room. You lift up her camera and her tripod, a confused frown on your lips as you look between the two. “M’not sure what you wanted to film, so I brought both. I can always go back and-“ she’s quickly cutting you off, standing up from the couch and slowly making her way to you before she takes both out of your hands gently, and sets them down on your coffee table.

“We can focus on that, later…I need to make sure you’re ready..” she purred out, making you swallow back a whimper.

Her hands go down to yours, gently gripping your arms before she pushes them to rest around her neck, her own hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to her body.

‘Making sure you were ready’ was just Ellie’s way of saying she wanted a moment with you off camera.

You simply give her a nod, your head already tilting forward as you lean in to press a kiss to her soft lips. Ellie groans in approval, her head tilting to the side a bit as soon as you were pressed against her, deepening the kiss. Her nimble fingers slide down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze while also using the leverage to pull you closer, pressing your chest firmly against hers. This make you gasp, and as always, she uses that opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

Ellie smirks into the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth as her hands massage your ass through your jeans.

“Been needy for me, baby? I’ve been needy for you…” she confessed between the feverish kiss. It was slow, and dirty, and so fucking erotic, it had your panties soaked already.

All you could do was nod, desperately pushing your lips back against hers as you tugged at her shirt. “Thought about you all day…” you said mindlessly, which makes Ellie chuckle softly against you.

“Yeah? God…me fuckin too…kept thinking about your pretty cunt all day…fucked my self so many times to the thought of you…” she groaned out. Her words make you moan a bit louder.

You’re so fucked out already, that you can barely register what it is that she just confessed to you.

Ellie hums softly as she breaks the kiss, looking down at you as you stare up at her with lust filled eyes and a needy pout. She tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, her own swollen lip tugged between her teeth.

“Bet you loved when that woman was staring at you…didn’t you.”

This catches you off guard.

Your eyes widen a bit, shocked over the fact that Ellie was even bringing it up to you, especially when all you wanted was her hands on your cunt, not the image of another woman in your head.

You don’t know why, but your first response is to quickly shake your head.

“What? She wasn’t…I didn’t notice her staring” you try, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Ellie chuckles softly as she watches you, catching your chin between her thumb and pointer finger as she angles your face up a bit more to stare up at her.

“It’s okay baby…she was very pretty…” she agreed, giving a slow nod before she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, head cocking to the side in a teasing manner before she hummed out softly.

“You think she could make you feel as good as I do?” She questioned, blown out pupils surrounded by a sliver of green staring down into your own.

And again, you’re quickly shaking your head, because you know for a fact that there is probably only a handful of people on this planet that can fuck you as good as Ellie can, and that’s being generous to the general population. Ellie fucks good, and anyone who gets to experience that is fucking lucky.

They’re also ruined for anyone else who comes after her.

“Fuck…you know no one can…come on El…need you so bad…” you whine softly, giving Ellie a whiny little pout as you tug at her shirt further, feeling like you’ll explode if you don’t have her hands on you in the next few seconds. Ellie simply chuckles, watching as you whine and pout for her, a sorry attempt at trying to find your way out of the conversation.

“You’re damn right they can’t…such a good girl…” she praises, which makes you whine softly.

Ellie hums softly as she stares down at your body, giving your waist a gentle tap. “Stay here.” She ordered softly before she moved over to set up the camera.

You watch as she sets up the tripod, making it level with the couch, low enough so that it stops right where the back of the couch ends, so that it doesn’t catch your kitchen in the background. She turns it on before she goes behind it, bending down a bit to make sure the angle is good before she nods to herself before she moved to sit down on the couch much like she was earlier, legs spread wide, her dark jeans stretching over her toned thighs. Her arms stretched along the back of the couch, dark eyes boring holes as she watched you.

“Strip” she ordered.

Fuck.

You immediately began slowly stripping for her. Staring with your t shirt, then with your jeans, leaving you in your bra and panties for a moment before you removed those as well, until you were fully naked in front of Ellie, her eyes eating you up like a hungry animal.

“So fuckin pretty…Jesus…” she groaned softly underneath her breath, letting you simply stand there, naked for her, under the dim lighting of your cozy living room.

After a moment passed, she nodded her head towards the camera. “Start recording, and then come over here.” She instructed once again, and she didn’t need to tell you twice.

You slowly walked over to the camera. On the screen, you could see Ellie on the camera, only her body visible, looking so fucking strong and confident. You knew from the angle of the camera alone, that Ellie’s viewers were in for a treat with this one.

And so were you.

When you hit record, you made your way over to Ellie slowly. She hummed softly, eyes staring up at you as you stood over her before she looked down at her lap, as if silently telling you to take a seat. You straddled her lap, the rough material of her jeans on your naked body making you hiss softly.

Ellie hummed, her large hands roaming your body the second you were on her lap. “Fuck…look at you baby..came home to all this?” Her words make you frown in confusion for only a moment, yet you quickly catch onto the fantasy that she’s trying to sell to her viewers.

You give a soft giggle, nodding as you lean in to press a soft kiss to her temple. “Missed you so much…wanted to surprise you..” you purr out softly, a soft whine leaving your lips once Ellie began to slowly grind you down on her lap as she was earlier, yet this time it makes you huff softly, the rough material of her jeans dragging along your sensitive core.

“Aren’t I lucky…coming home to my pretty girl like this…fuck…you’ve been on my mind all fucking day…” she groaned out, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked down at your naked body, a soft hiss leaving her lips as she let her hand come in between you both, catching your slippery clit against her thumb. She watches your facial expression change, a soft moan leaving your lips as you rest your hands on either one of her shoulders, looking down at her hand toying with you.

“So wet already…stand up for me baby” she hummed out softly as she gave your hip a gentle pat. You listened, standing up from her lap, which allowed her to lay down onto the couch, one of her knees bent up as the other leg laid down. She gestured you over to her.

“Come sit on my face princess” she ordered.

Her words alone made you whine, and you wasted no time straddled her face, either side of your legs shielding her face from the camera.

As soon as you were settled, her tongue was out, inviting you down to take a seat as you rested a bit of your wait onto it, your pussy pressing against the warm muscle. You moan out loudly, back arching as you slowly began rocking your hips back and forth on Ellie’s flattened tongue.

The apartment was soon filled with the sounds of your moans, and Ellie’s tongue lapping away at your soaked cunt. It was times like this that Ellie had to depend on you to carry out the vocals, seeing as her mouth was a bit…occupied.

“F-feels so good…missed you so much today…” you moan out shyly, testing the waters with your voice a bit. Ellie groaned below you, her own hips bucking upwards, grinding into nothing as she gave you a quiet gesture to keep going.

You whined, giving her a slow nod as you kept going.

“You look so pretty…fuck…I love your tongue so much…” you moan out again, which earns another moan from Ellie, sending vibrations onto your sopping cunt. You moan loudly again, one of her hands coming up from around your thigh, to snake up your body and toy with your boobs, massaging the skin, pinching your nipples, her hips still bucking up into nothing with need.

You notice, turning around a bit and catching the way her hips bucked up with need. You whimper softly, reaching a hand behind you to undo her jeans before you push them down her pants, her own clit throbbing against your fingers as you begin rubbing her, watching as her eyes roll back when you begin doing this.

“Feels good? Fuck…you’re so fucking wet…fuuuckk…wanna…wanna cum with you…please” you practically beg, your arm already becoming sore from the uncomfortable position, yet you still paid the upmost attention to her poor needy pussy.

Ellie always prioritized your pleasure, it was time you do the same.

Ellie moaned and groaned against your pussy, her tongue speeding up the closer she got, her pussy grinding into your fingers desperately. You arched your back, eyebrows furrowed as you let your head fall back, the pleasure becoming too much.

You knew she was close, the grip on your thighs was almost deadly, and you were too. It wasn’t long before her hips were sputtering, her arousal soaking your fingers as she came. This alone was enough to make you shriek with pleasure, nearly falling back as your arm nearly gave out from behind you, but Ellie’s strong arms were already on your hips to keep you up, pulling you further up as she lapped at your core, helping you ride out your orgasm.

The thing you hated about filming with Ellie the most? You couldn’t even scream her name when she made you cum.

You breathed hard, your exhausted pussy shying away from Ellie’s tongue as you stared down at her, body back in its upright position, her gorgeous green eyes staring up at yours, cheeks red as she gave your pussy kitty licks.

“You should stay out late more often..” you tease, which earns a soft giggle from both of you.

Ellie gives your pussy one last kiss before she pushes you down her body so you’re straddling her waist, her eyes low and hazy as she stares up at you, gently massaging the skin of your thighs.

You always enjoyed the aftermath with her, the silence that came with it, the come down was almost as good as the sex itself. You were both so fucked out, so utterly satisfied, the warmth that overtook you was almost unbearable. You could stay there forever if you truly wanted to.

But alas, it never lasted long enough.

You felt the familiar tap on your thighs, a silent reminder that Ellie had to indeed get up and stop the camera recording. You roll off of her with wobbly thighs, cuddling into the couch and grabbing a nearby blanket to shield your body from the cold air of your apartment.

You watch with sleepy eyes as Ellie gets up, buttoning up her jeans and turning off the camera before pulling it front the tripod to look back at the footage, making sure it was all recorded correctly.

You hear your moans echoing from the device, which makes you whine softly. You always hated hearing yourself, no matter how hot you and Ellie looked. Ellie chuckles softly, shaking her head as she watched the video for a moment longer before she shut off the camera.

“That improv of yours was pretty damn good…they’re gonna like that” she added, making you giggle softly before giving her a shrug. “I always like playing with your pussy” your words make Ellie groan, and she’s suddenly giving you a look of warning, a smirk playing on her lips to match.

“Don’t play with something you can’t handle sweetheart” she warned you, and you can’t help but roll your eyes, despite the fire you feel from that look alone.

“Please, you wouldn’t know how to fuck me even if you had the chance” you challenge her.

Oh yeah, that was another thing. Ellie still hadn’t properly fucked you yet.

You huffed softly as you tugged yet another top off of your body. You’d tried on nearly every article of clothing you had in your closet, yet it just wasn’t fucking working. It was times like this, that you simply wanted to burn all of your clothes and never leave your house again.

You were currently getting ready for a date, a girl you’d met at the record store had ended up asking you out on a date while you were showing her to the new age rock section that the store carried.

The first thing that went through your mind when the girl asked, wasn’t how pretty she was, or how nice her fingers looked wrapped around the edge of the thin vinyls in her hand.

No, none of that went through your head. The only thing that went through your head when the girl asked you out was Ellie.

And that scared you.

Because it’s Ellie for gods sake. The girl you’ve been living with for almost three years now, the girl who you watched eat dry cereal from the box instead of making herself a proper meal, the girl who you’ve watched genuinely find family guy funny…

The girl who’d been playing your body like a fucking guitar for almost a month now.

You realized, you needed this date.

So you agreed, giving the girl your number and telling her to text you so you guys could set up a date.

The guilt was eating you alive, because while Ellie would be fucking you with a dildo, her lips firmly on yours, you knew in the back of your head you had a girl waiting to see you at the end of the week.

And it was conflicting because did you even have to tell Ellie? Would it be stupid if you did? Would it be wrong if you didn’t? It was still just Ellie, after all. Sure, she’d seen you naked now, and she’d made you cum more times than you could count, and you her, but she was still your friend. She was still your normal roommate, your Ellie. And there was nothing really holding you back from going on dates.

Right?

You chalked up all your guilt by convincing yourself that Ellie was probably talking to other girls too, actively searching for a girlfriend, or even a permanent filming partner while you temporarily filled that spot.

Because while you guys never formally spoke about it, that’s all you were, temporary.

It worked out perfectly, because Ellie had gone out for the night, texting you and telling you she had some stuff to do, errands to run. It gave you the place all to yourself to get ready. You would’ve felt extremely stupid sneaking out of your own apartment to avoid any awkward interactions with Ellie. Even though you weren’t even sure if it would even be awkward.

You ended up settling on a little black dress, a pair of black boots and a leather bomber jacket, an outfit you had long since ran dry with how many times you wore, but you looked good, and you weren’t going to to stray away from that.

You fluffed out your hair after you finished up your makeup, spraying on your favorite perfume before you grabbed your phone, sending record store girl a quick text, letting her know that you’d be leaving your house now to meet her at the bar that you two had agreed on going to for your first date.

You couldn’t ignore the sour taste in your mouth, and the aching feeling in your belly as you looked around your room, making your final rounds before you left. There was something about the entire ordeal that just felt…dirty. The fact that you were sneaking around, hiding something that you felt needed to be hidden…

Leaving Ellie for the night.

All of it made you feel ill, and the fact that you felt that way made you feel even worse.

But regardless of it all, Ellie was out and it was all in your head. Ellie probably wouldn’t even care if you went out with a girl! She’d be happy for you, she’d send you out of the apartment with an encouraging slap on your ass before telling you to wrap it up before you-

Suddenly, you could hear Ellie opening up the door from the other side of your apartment door. You feel like you’ll freeze up and die in that very moment.

She walks into the house humming a tune you can’t quite find, probably some song that had been stuck in her head. She has her helmet tucked under her arm, and a brown paper bag with the logo of your favorite take out spot slung along her long fingers. She doesn’t notice you at first, because she’s too busy cursing under her breath as she tries to get herself inside, a low groan leaving her lips a she tosses her keys into the entrance bowl, kicking the door shut behind her.

“Babe? You home? I brought dinner” she calls out.

You feel sick to your fucking stomach.

Because it feels too domestic, too romantic, too fucking far for you and Ellie for her to be calling out for you that way, to be ordering your favorite dinner and bringing it home for you. You aren’t even entirely sure what prompted her to do this, and you don’t know who you’re more annoyed with, her for doing it, or you for not being honest with her.

You’re too caught up in your thoughts, because you barely realize that Ellie’s eyes are finally on yours, a confused frown as she stares at you up and down, clearly readying yourself to leave the apartment.

“You…look so pretty. Are we going somewhere?” She questions slowly, her sentence slipping into a tone of worry, as if she’d forgotten about something that you planned for the both of you, her big green eyes frantically searching yours.

You can’t fucking do this anymore.

You inhale deeply, shaking your head as you clear your throat, your fingers tugging at the bottom of your dress as you try to find your voice, find your words to break it to Ellie.

“I um….I have a date tonight” you mumble out softly, barely loud enough for Ellie to hear, hoping that she doesn’t and some miracle snatches this ridiculous conversation away so you don’t have to experience it.

But she does hear you.

Her face goes from worried to annoyed almost instantly, her brows knitted together as her lips form a confused frown. “A date? With who?” She spits out, and the tone is too accusing for you. It makes you wince slightly, your lips forming a frown of your own as you let out a soft sigh.

“Girl I met at the record store” you sigh out, and you hate this, because it feels so far from what you and Ellie are. It feels to reminiscent of a jealous girlfriend cornering you, confused as to why you’d ever leave her when she was there waiting for you, why on earth would you pass her up for anyone else when she gives you everything anyways?

The energy you can feel radiating off of Ellie is the same thing you felt when that woman was looking at you on the road. It feels hostile, and possessive, it feels like she has some claim on you that you aren’t even fully aware of, and it’s the reason you decided to go on the date in the first place, because regardless of not fully knowing what it is that’s happened between you and Ellie.

You know it isn’t good.

Ellie moves to drop the food onto the coffee table, a bit too harshly in your opinion. Her strong hand goes up to run through her brown hair, one hand on her hip as she stares at the floor for a moment. You should’ve just taken that as an opportunity to leave, to avoid all of this. But you don’t.

“It’s…it’s Friday night. We’re supposed to film. We film every Friday” she argues.

Fuck.

You chew your maroon tinted bottom lip, feeling like a kid who’s done something bad and is now facing the repercussions of a disappointed parent. You feel small, and stupid, and you can’t believe you forgot about it. There had been such a blur between the schedule you had with Ellie, with far too many moments of making out with her on the couch, or her fingers finding their way into your pants whenever you were watching a movie together, that the intimacy in your brain was becoming confused with the intimacy that was needed for the camera and the camera only.

And in that moment, you realize that this needs to end.

Because maybe you and Ellie can go back to normal, maybe you can forget about this and she can find someone who is better at this stuff than you are. It’s too confusing, and it’s putting you in a bad position of thinking too deep into things while also missing the bigger picture, and you’re fucking exhausted.

You inhale deeply, opening your mouth to speak, to tell her that this isn’t what you want anymore, that this isn’t for you anymore. You have it all mapped out, how you’re going to finally tell her that this simply can’t go on anymore.

But suddenly, your phone goes off.

You frown, looking down at the glowing device in your hands. It’s a text from record store girl, she’s telling you how she just left her house, and how excited she is to see you tonight. This catches Ellie’s attention too.

She looks down at your phone, her angry and annoyed expression still present on her face.

“Is that her?” She asks. You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head as you try pushing your phone in your jacket pocket. “Ellie I…when I get back I really think we should talk about-“ she quickly cuts you off, her voice a bit louder than it was when she first asked.

“I said…is that her?” Her words are slower, clearer, as if she wants you to hear every goddamn syllable that leaves her mouth. You know she isn’t fucking around, and you simply inhale deeply, taking your phone out of your pocket and looking at the message that was still lingering at the bottom of your Lock Screen.

“Yeah…it is….” You admit, ignoring how fucking stupid you feel for telling Ellie this. You should have left, you should have ignored her and gone on your date and had a good time so you could come home and tell her that she needed to find a new filming partner, because you weren’t cut out for this shit anymore.

She begins taking slow strides towards you, the closer she gets, the more you can smell her cologne. It makes you swallow back a whine, because her scent is the single most euphoric thing to you right now. It haunts you in your sleep, and it makes your mouth water whenever she’s on top of you.

Soon, she’s right in front of you, her green eyes staring down at your outfit, taking in everything that you have on, how pretty your hair and makeup is. Her slender fingers come up to tug at your jacket slightly, a soft puff of air exiting her nose before she speaks. “What’d she tell you? That she’s on her way? So excited to see you?” She questions, her voice low and taunting as her nimble fingers dance along your jacket, ghosting along the fabric of your dress.

“Fuckin idiot…she’s on her way to some shitty bar and I’ve got her girl practically shaking for me..” she hummed out softly.

And it was true. Ellie had hardly touched you, yet your fists were balled at your side, body practically begging for her as her skilled fingers barely gave you what you wanted. The second she was in front of you, your brain was clouded with her, with all the things you wanted from her, all the things you knew she could do to you.

“Had so much planned for us tonight, baby…wanted to finally show you off live..wanted to take care of that pretty body of yours…and you were getting all dolled up for some asshole who probably wouldn’t know how to make you cum even if she got the chance” she explains, her voice low, minty breath fanning across your face, making you whine softly.

“You’ve never dress like this for me before…” she groans out, and it makes your eyes widen a bit. Before you can open your mouth and say anything back, her skinny fingers are grabbing your chin and angling your face up to fully look at her, her green eyes staring down into yours as she licked her bottom lip slowly.

“God I can’t stand you sometimes..” she sighed out softly before she pressed her mouth against yours in a needy kiss. Your hands instantly wrap around her neck, keeping her close as her own arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against her body.

It’s as if any and all moral high ground that you had was gone, replaced by only thoughts of Ellie. You let her fill you up, breath life into you as her warm tongue explored your mouth, dominated the kiss and took you on a wild fucking ride that only consisted of a single kiss from her.

Soon, she’s breaking the kiss, and it makes you whine and chase her lips. She chuckles softly, the sound dark and taunting as she stares down at your needy eyes and swollen lips. “Now you’re chasing me…poor thing…” she tuts out, clearly mocking you with a pouty tone.

She slips her hand into your jacket pocket, taking out your phone and looking at the message. She rolls her eyes, pushing the phone in between you two.

“You’re gonna call her, and you’re gonna tell her you aren’t coming” she demands. Your eyes go wide, looking up at Ellie before you quickly shake your head. “What? No! Ellie I can’t! I…can’t I just text her?” Even your own words shock you a bit, because are you seriously staying with Ellie when there was a perfectly willing girl waiting for you at a bar down the street?

If Ellie said so, then yeah. Yeah you were.

Ellie shrugged before she unlocked your phone, having learned your password way back when you two first moved in together. “Fine. I’ll call her” she nodded, her fingers scrolling through your phone to find the girls contact. This makes your eyes go wider, and you quickly snatch your phone from Ellie’s hand, because you know that Ellie will be shameless with it, and it’ll make you look way worse than you already do by flaking so last minute.

“No! No…fine…I’ll do it. Just…please be quiet, Ellie” you plead, giving her a look of warning before you sigh softly, looking down at your phone for a moment before you click the girl contact, set it to call, and put your phone to your ear.

Ellie smiles proudly, pearly teeth gleaming as her hands give your hips a firm squeeze. “That’s my fuckin girl…” she praises. Her words makes your insides flutter, core tightening around nothing as you wait for the girl to answer, a gentle pout on your lips despite the fact that your arms were still wrapped around Ellie, and she still had your body pressed against hers.

After a few rings, she finally answers. Her voice is bright and bubbly and you want to kick yourself for doing this to someone so fucking sweet.

“Hey….look…I’m really sorry but I think I’m going to have to-“ your words are cut off by Ellie’s lips pressing against your neck, wet mouth working against your skin, bitting and sucking, sure to leave marks in the morning. It makes you gasp softly..

Because Ellie never left marks.

It wasn’t something that ever really bothered you. It helped in all honesty, you didn’t really want to be walking around littered in Ellie’s hickies, it would’ve resulted in too many questions from your coworkers and friends, and you really didn’t want to deal with that. It was just an unspoken rule, Ellie didn’t mark you, and you didn’t mark her. That was too far along the lines of being a couple for you.

But clearly, that had all changed tonight.

There was a sense of possessiveness that you could feel when she did it. Teeth and tongue sucking and biting at your soft skin, eager to claim you in any way that she possibly could. Between the feeling of it, and the fact that she was doing it, it made it hard to talk, your eyes rolling back into your head as you bit back a whimper, covering it up with a couch as you tried finding the words in your fuzzy head to speak to the girl.

Ellie smirked against your throat as she listened to you struggle, listened to the muffled words of the confused girl on the other line try to understand what it was you were saying.

You tugged at Ellie’s hair slightly, yet still kept her close as she mouthed your neck. “I…I can’t…look I’m really not feeling well..I…mph…I can’t come out tonight. I’m sorry” you quickly ramble out, knowing you were too close to moaning out Ellie’s name to keep this going on any longer. Before you were able to hear what the girl had to say on the other line, you hang up, turn your phone off and toss it onto the couch.

You moan softly, tilting your head to the side to give Ellie better access to your neck. “I can’t believe you fucking did that…” you moan out as you began shrugging your jacket off, tossing it somewhere in the living room. You felt too hot, too fucking needy, everything was just too much and you struggled to wrap your head around what exactly was even happening.

“Me? I didn’t do anything…you’re the one that cancelled on the poor girl” Ellie teased gently, which earns a swat to her arm from your end.

You sigh softly, tugging her hair back so that she’s pulled away from your neck. You waste no time in crashing your lips against hers, your tongue pushing into her mouth with need as you kiss her feverishly. Ellie groans into the kiss, her hands going down to give your ass a firm squeeze. “Eager are we?” She grunts against your lips.

You huff softly, ignoring her words as you begin pushing her backwards towards her room, your lips never leaving the sloppy kiss. It’s so fucking erotic, and messy, and needy, and there’s so much filling it that you can both clearly feel. You decide to ignore it.

“I decided to stay with you…you better make this worth it” you groan out softly, which only earns a smirk from Ellie as she stares down at you, her heart fluttering at the way you pushed her around, did with her as you pleased.

“I always do, baby” she chuckled softly, and all you want to do is wipe that smug fucking smirk off her beautiful face.

Once you’re in her bedroom, you press your palms against her chest, shoving her back to lay on her bed. She lets out a soft moan, clearly happy with the way that you’re handling her.

You tug your dress up a bit as you move to straddle her, her hands instantly moving to grip your thighs. She lets out a soft hiss, her lust filled eyes eating up the way your dress hugs your curves, pushes up your boobs. For a moment, you see a hint of something flash through her eyes as she watches you, taking in the dress that you wore for a date, wore for someone else.

You don’t ignore it this time, because it’s clearly jealously.

You don’t know whether or not you should say something, or kiss her, or do anything else to get your mind off of it, but you don’t have to. Because as soon as you’re settled down on her lap, you can feel a foreign bulge pressing into your clothed core, and it makes your eyes widen and Ellie smirks and rolls her hips up to grind it into you, and then you realize what the surprise that Ellie had was.

Ellie was finally going to fuck you tonight.

And not with her fingers, or with a sex toy, it would be with her strap. She was going to fuck you, something you’d already assumed wasn’t going to happen between the two of you.

She must have noticed the shocked look on your face, because she chuckles as she continues grinding her cock into you, making you whine softly as you press you hands on her hips to give yourself leverage as you roll your hips to meet her movements.

“Feel that baby? It’s all yours…went out and brought a brand new one just for you…” she explained, revealing what it was that she’d been out doing while you were getting ready for your date.

She was buying new toys to fuck you with, and picking up dinner for after.

You felt like you were dreaming.

All you can do is moan in response, eagerly undoing Ellie’s jeans, wanting nothing more than to feel her fill you up, fucking into you deliciously, giving you what you’d always wanted.

Ellie is quick to grab your wrists, pulling them away from her jeans. “Ahh, not so fast, princess….we’re gonna do this the right way” she hums out softly. You can’t help but pout, a soft huff leaving your lips as you open your mouth to complain, but Ellie is already sitting up, gently pushing you back to lay on her bed properly as she crawls over you.

She hums softly, staring down at your body for a moment, silently taking you in before she pushes your dress up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as her hands find its spot cupping your clothed pussy.

“Hmm….so wet already…I’m gonna have so much fun taking you, baby…” she groaned against your lips, swallowing up your moans as her slender fingers pressed against your clit, rubbing you slowly, forcing the cotton material of your pantries to go translucent as your arousal soaked them almost entirely.

And your head is spinning as she kisses you, because she’s being so slow, so gentle, treating your body with so much care. And it’s not unlike Ellie to do this, but you just assumed this would have gone differently. You expected her to be rough, fucking into you while telling you how no one could ever fuck her like she does…

But she’s not. She’s so gentle, and soft, and it’s making your heart do dances it’s never done before..

Ellie lets out a soft sigh as she tugs your panties to the side, feeling your velvety folds better now without the fabric constricting her. She rubs you slowly, building you up, getting your sopping little pussy all warmed up for her cock. Soon, her hands leave your core, and she pulls you up to tug your dress off before laying you back down, and tugging off your panties as well, leaving you entirely naked before her.

Ellie hisses softly under her breath as she eyes you, sitting back on her legs as she begins tugging off her own shirt, before she crawls off the bed to tug her jeans off, leaving her completely naked as well, eyes never leaving your body.

“You’re so fucking beautiful…” she mumbles out softly before she crawls back onto you, pressing her naked chest against yours. The feeling makes you moan loudly into her mouth as she kisses you, because you’ve never felt Ellie like this. You’ve never had her body pressed up against yours this way, and it feels like the single most intimate thing you’ve ever felt in your entire life.

Ellie’s hand goes down to her cock, gripping the base before she brings it to your core, running it along your sopping wet folds, against your clit before she slowly feeds you her length, earning a whiny moan from you.

Ellie quickly nods as she kisses you softly, one of her hands giving your waist a squeeze. “I know baby…I know it’s big…you can take me…I know you can” she praises you, and it makes you moan softly into her mouth as she rubs your clit, pushing further into your weeping cunt.

“Ellie…fuck…more…need more” you moan against her, the empty feeling still present as she waits for you to tell her it’s okay to keep going. She groans softly, pushing more of her length into you until she bottoms out completely, her thighs flushed against yours as she waits for you to adjust to her size.

You roll your hips slowly, already feeling yourself leaking around the length, and you give her a nod, staring into her green eyes as your hips buck up into her. “Need you, El…need more of you..” you moan out softly.

And Ellie feels like her head is spinning when you say that.

Her strong hand goes down, gripping your thigh as she slowly fucks into you, moaning as her clit bumps against the back of the strap with her movements.

Her eyes never leaves you, watches as your face contorts in pleasure, moaning loudly for her, arching your back when the tip of her cock rubs against your velvety walls, watching as you fall apart on her length.

Her thrusts are slow, and calculated and she’s staring down at all of you as she fucks into you. You suddenly feel her long fingers wrap around your cheeks, pulling you to look up at her because frankly, you’re having a hard time looking anywhere.

“Eyes on me, baby…need to see you right now…f-fuck…that’s my good fucking girl…taking me so well” she praises, and it makes you moan loudly with her. You grab her wrist, watching as she fucks into you faster, both of you getting closer and closer to what you’ve been needing for who knows how fucking long.

Suddenly, Ellie’s hand leaves your face and instead, grabs your hand, bringing it above your head as she interlocks your fingers. Her gaze is so intense, and the grip on your hand is so tight, you feel tears prickling at the ends of your eyes because whatever the hell is happening is too goddamn intense, it’s taking over you completely, and it’s making it all too much.

“Ellie…Ellie I…I…” you choke out between little moans and whines, your eyes growing glossy as you stare up at her, and Ellie is already nodding despite your lack of words, because she understands, she feels it too, and you don’t even have to say it.

“Come on baby…give it to me…fuck…cum with my angel…please” she’s practically begging, her own moans cutting off her words as she fucks you faster, the grip on your hand almost lethal as she stares down at you, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth.

And you feel it, how could you not? Your orgasm washes over you almost painfully, making you close your eyes shut as your back arches, squeezing Ellie’s hand as you cum hard on her cock. It’s too much, too intimate, too fucking intense, and you feel like you’ll explode just from the feeling of it.

Ellie has no other choice but to smash her lips against yours when she sees it, she can practically feel the way you grip her cock with your pussy and it’s the catalyst that sends her into her own sea of pleasure, euphoria swallowing her up and almost drowning her as she kisses you with everything she’s feeling, pouring it all out into you as her hips slowly fuck into you, riding out both yours and her orgasm.

The come down is hard, because she’s on top of you, and it’s quiet apart from the heavy breathing between you and hear, and her head is resting on her chest…

And all Ellie can think about, is how utterly fucked she is..

Because she’s in love with you

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Why so much on right now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Classic old school Thai BL. Of course I love it. Naïve sunshine freshman vs strict older protective boy (who already likes him but refuses to show it). Is he grumpy or just gay and tired of all of these women? We don’t know. We don’t care. We just want to see them fake a relationship. And that’s what we’re getting. I love it. I also love the friendship group, and that the younger brother is in it and he has some of the same magic BL-hottie superpowers as his older brother. It’s great.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 10 of 15 - Phun actually turns into dangerous babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented by the way. Yes, I am pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice boy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since this new babygirl superpower gives Phun a damn near perfect “back off bitch” face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. Has done since SOTUS. Nong Mick is hero-level in this version, hands-down my favorite character this time around (and a non-entity last time). I love him so much I can’t stand it. I haven’t updated my 1:1 comparison yet this week, didn’t have time to rewatch 2014, but I will later tonight.  I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Kidnap (Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - What an absolutely excellent final episode. Smiley kisses! 

Conclusion 

A cute if patently absurd little show about a stuntman who is somehow convinced to kidnap a rich kid except they fall in love. It takes itself a little more seriously than it deserves for such a silly plot and some crappy stunts and contradictory content, but it was a pleasantly romantic experience all around, and I enjoyed myself. Extra credit for Q in that perfect blue color throughout. No complaints, a solid BL. 8/10 

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist (First) and a cocky mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

Buckle up buttercups I got thoughts:

Frankly, I haven’t decided if this is good or so bad and so camp that it’s good? The latter I suspect. Either way, I’m enjoying it very much, but I had very little doubt that I would. This falls into so many of my wheelhouses. Not just the premise but the casting and the approach and the script. They pretty much knocked it out of the park with the first episode: one night stand + safe sex + linguistic negotiation = I’m in! During the opening sequence I spent the entire time worried about how many fingerprints Bison was leaving everywhere. And then I realized this show is going to require DEMAND we turn our brains entirely off.

We are in KinnPorshce / The Sign territory people. Take emergency precautions! Do not engage brain meats!

Kiss Me Kate only gay and hitmen? Frankly, it sells itself. The music is extremely stupid though. (Brain, stop it!) I gotta say that FirstKhao are good because…… FirstKhao. But JoongDunk are absolutely perfectly cast. Like: couldn’t be a better pair in these roles. Dunk, in particular, is slaying. I did not have Dunk as Petruchio down on my “best casting choice of all time” BL bingo card, but apparently there he is. Awesome. 

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 8 of 16 - I’m warming up to the second couple a little bit. I actually don’t mind a bully romance the way some do. But this isn’t quite hitting the notes that I want from one. Still, I found this week more engaging than last week. 

Secret Love (? YT?) 1-12 of 81 eps - They dropped 12 eps at once randomly on YT totaling about 20 min. So of course, I watched it. Because I have no self-control and STEPBROTHERS! Adopted into a rich family, boy falls in love with heir. But when he is made the heir instead, everything goes wrong. Now enemies the two boys reunite and sparks! I hate this format but dammit I love this utter dross. It’s very early Chinese BL feeling but from Thailand. I don’t care. It’s so stupidly great. This is my kind of BL.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - There is something sweetly innocent and earnest about this show. It reminds me of Takara and Amagi or even Light On Me but less stiff - this one is quintessentially quirky and casually Thai about it. It’s interesting that this has an 18+ rating, which means it’s either gonna go very violent or sexy or both. Right now I can’t imagine that, it doesn’t suit. But I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Junior with his Mean Girl crop top moment is the goddess of the week though. Fierce queen penguin.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 4 of 24 - I love the side couple so damn much. How are they so adorable? Still not wild about the mains, and not likely to get there anytime soon. That said, I did like seeing the “sleeping in your boyfriend‘s class while he gives you his jacket” trope drop. We haven’t had that one for a really long time. My Engineer maybe?

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I did find this installment kind of boring. I just don’t like actors as main characters. Much as I’m enjoying this show and I think the actors are doing a good job, I really do wish it was more like what we had been sold on: Connected reborn characters fated to be together over and over again. Not this weird little mishmash of whatever. I’m now annoyed by a format I was initially charmed by. 

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-11 of 12 - still on hold until it ends or I can cope with the pain.  I just can’t go into darkness right now.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 3 of 11 - SNIFF TEST! But done by Japan so it’s that much better and more kinky. The way H looks at M pretty much defines naked lust. “I got extra beat up so you’d take pity on me and then I admitted it to you” is so damn warped I can’t even with this boy. This feral kid is gonna drive me feral. The power and the control and the execution of this show is just spectacular. I keep thinking about it after its done and telling people IRL about it. (I rarely talk BL IRL.) It’s classy. I do love it when Japan does classy BL for us. 

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 13 - so completely and utterly adorable. The learning sign language thing! I loved it so much.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 of 12 eps - Possibly one of the best confessions of the year I have to say. Also a wonderful character growth arc for our lawyer. Exactly as one might hope. The plot twist was slightly predictable but still adds a delicious note of tension to our final episodes.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 7-8 of 12 - You don’t want me but you won’t let anybody else have me either. The song of the repressed seme. I did like the irrational jealousy moment and a few other bits, of course the crying kiss. You know I love a crying kiss. Even if it’s a somewhat censored one. But this is also leaning a little bit darker than I want at the moment. This being China, I anticipate the darkness and doom getting worse not better.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 9 of ? - The incredible migrating lip injury continues. Could we please get on with the BL aspect of this show? I’m getting frustrated as well as slightly bored at this juncture. Pacing darlings. Pacing.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Still not sure. I think I like this better than the original, but I’m confused. I did make disgusted scoff noises and say “oh dear” a couple of times. Which makes me sound like a World War II grandpa (only the housemate's cat noticed), but is also classic me when profoundly disappointed by a piece of media. That’s said, the sex scene was pretty good. In the end, I wasn’t as frustrated by this version of these characters, but they didn’t have as many highs or lows as the original. So first half probably works out about the same in my all-purpose rating system. The true proof in the pudding is going to be couple number 2 tho......

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, but I did not find any English subs for it. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. So I hope it gets some sort of international or something at some point. for now I’ll put it to the wayside.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

In Case You Missed it

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special on 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally. Let me know if you found it.

The Bangkok Podcast covered Marriage Equality in Thailand: More Complex Than it Seems. They missed some of the point and all of the queer perspective. But it's a local lawyer talking about it and how it was implemented, which is quite interesting.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave AKA Ore-sama Yakuza to Hetare Shachiku: Kuni wo Koeta Jingi Naki Dekiai, Japan YT. A 30 min slice of ridiculousness. This mini walked out the back of one of my 1999 yaoi (you know those little shorts they always had along with the main story?) and randomly got cut together by some helpful malcontent, tumbled into my YT feed like a Taiwanese prat fall, and I couldn't be happier.

This is the Cliff's notes of a story that could have been amazing, but I adored it anyway. Basically what it says on the tin: office cutie from Taiwan working in Japan runs across hot AF mafia hit man beating up lesser thugs. Falls instantly in love, turns out so does the yakuza. They end up together for...... reasons? (one is cute and the other is cool?) That's it. It's dumb and I loved it. 7/10 because it really isn't good, but it lives on in a very warped corner of my shriveled old heart.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still to come:

11/28 Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai Thurs iQIYI) 8 eps on OneD (no word on inter) - Increased rates of deaths in terminal patients has a police captain investigating the palliative care doctor with whom he's fallen in love. Their relationship deepens but the mystery persists, driven by mistrust. Adapted from the novel "Euthanasia" by Sammon (Triage, Manner of Death) stars some old guard BL actors: Tor Thanapob from Hormones as the doctor and (fuck me YES) Jaylerr from Great Men Academy and goddamn Grean Fictions as the captain!

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan a smitten seme who's too reserved for his own good. Sunshine is gonna have this boy wrapped around his little finger in no time. (Well in 12 eps, but we know what we like!) Your Sky

King behavior.

Dangerous Babygirl behavior.

Both Love Sick 2024.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[wlntrsldler]

Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?

apple pie | jamie tartt

based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)

warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad

word count: 2631

ted lasso requests are open | main masterlist

When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 

You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 

At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 

“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 

“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 

“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 

“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 

“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 

“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”

You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 

“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 

“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 

“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 

Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 

You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.

Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 

Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 

During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.

All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 

“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 

“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 

Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 

“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 

The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 

Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 

When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 

To: lover boy <3

“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 

By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 

The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 

You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 

It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 

He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 

“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 

Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.

He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 

“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 

“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 

Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 

“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 

He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 

Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 

Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 

Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.

[yournightmary]

Roommate!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU, mentions of weed, being drunk and creepy men

AN:: Hi! I’m really glad (surprised) you all liked my last one:) I’m taking requests, only smaller things though:( still trying to get a hang of the whole writing thing.

part II here!

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who was so desperate to save some money that she posted a roommate ad online. First 10 people were total creeps, then there were like 5 different guys that thought it was some kind of a sexual offer. But then you reached out.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who at first was really nervous to meet you, a little scared about you actually being a 40 year old white man.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who hid most of her nerdy stuff because she was afraid you would make fun of her or find her weird. Stuffed all of her funko pops into her closet and shoved her posters under her bed :(

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who for the first like 2 months wouldn’t be found dead in the same room as you. And if by some miracle she was, she would be so painfully awkward. She was scared that she’ll make you uncomfortable somehow, but you were just like ??? you thought she was really nice and cute??

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who spent most of her time at Jesse’s babbling about how funny and cool and beautiful you are. She felt a little bad about it, you were just her roommate after all. A roommate she was crushing on like a middle schooler.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who stopped laughing at the ‘and they were roommates’ jokes, instead she would get embarrassed and immediately think about you.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who finally got the balls to befriend you when one time Dina and Jesse paid her an unexpected visit.

“Do you uh-… you wanna hang out with us?” She asked you awkwardly, fiddling nervously with her fingers. Her heart was racing and her hands were so clammy… god what was happening to her?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who absolutely loves watching dumb tv shows with you. I’m talking Love Island, Kitchen nightmares, Big Brother- all that crap. One time she watched a new episode of your favorite show without you and felt so bad about it… and about faking her reactions while rewatching it with you.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who doesn’t really care about skincare but always watches you do your routine. She just uses a cheap face wash and a plain moisturizer and somehow her skin is clear like glass. Whenever you ask her to let you do her skincare she’ll act like she doesn’t want it, but inside she’s literally giggling and kicking her feet.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who always looks at you walking around the apartment with heart shaped eyes. No matter if you just woke up and your hair is a mess or if you just got back from a party and are stumbling drunkenly into every corner. She thinks you’re effortlessly beautiful, end of story.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who is naturally messy, but not in a bad way? She just has a lot of clutter around, little trinkets and doohickeys she found god knows where.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who breaks at least one mug a week. She’s really clumsy and the fact that you’re all that she can think about doesn’t help.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who felt like a teenager that got caught smoking cigarettes when you found out she smokes weed. She was already high by the time you came back from work and almost got a panik attack. You had to babysit her until she got better.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who loves when you call your small shared apartment ‘home’. It just stirs something deep inside her and puts a grin on her face.

I’ll probably make a part 2 when I get more ideas:3

[sophies-junkyard]

NOBODY ASKED but… Obviously Simon’s arc in adventure time solidified the series as one of greatest of all time (and I’m so hyped for this ice king sadness renaissance) but now I’m thinking of OTHER Adventure Time moments that rewired my brain as a kid. In no particular order:

1. “Once the strong guys got it how they liked it they said ‘this is fair now. This is the law.’ Once they were winning they changed the rules”. They really had the cartoon dog say that on tv in 2014.

2. “People get built different. We don’t have to understand it, we just gotta respect it”

3. The entirety of All The Little People. That shit was absolutely nuts for a kids show but also like…. I can’t articulate the lesson I just know there was one and it haunted me. The danger of the human ego. Hubris. Irreverence. Don’t play god bro.

4. Lady and Peebles. When PB ripped Ricardio’s leg off and bashed his skull in with it. And it was so hardcore they edited it out of the episode. Bro. I remember watching that after school one day and how my jaw just DROPPED at a PRINCESS being so brutal. They let her be so fucking angry and that was a game changer.

5. [Finn, about a horrific memory] “that one’s going in the vault. Aaaaaaaaaandd. It’s gone.” I quote that CONSTANTLY. It’s a great way to bring levity to a bad situation, but also forces me to go “hey wait a sec that’s not gonna work forever”. Things don’t stay in the vault.

6. Puhoy. He lived an entire life in that pillow world. He had kids. And then it’s just gone like a dream.

7. The deer. It was probably my first real introduction to horror. The hand wiggle. You all know exactly what I’m referencing. Were the candy people stuck in that well for 6 months???

8. What Was Missing!! Obviously now because it foreshadowed (and confirmed past) Bubbline, but back then just because it was so good??? IMO, this is the episode that defined WHO our main cast was, and how their relationships needed to grow for them to be content. It set up the next 6 years of the show! Plus it gave us 2 absolute BANGERS. Ugh i rewatched that recording so many times it wasn’t even funny.

9. Ghost Princess. Really just for the line where he sounds like he’s gonna shit his pants remembering his death and then in a clear narrator voice he’s like “I was a broken man.”

10. The pajama war episode. Now I’m doing this from memory so I could be wrong, but I think this really marks the start of Finn growing up. “I’ve really enjoyed just… hanging out with you.” The ability to start over with someone you’ve got complicated history with. The kindness. The growth from both of them!! It’s a direct parallel of episode 1 but their tones couldn’t be more different and I love it.

11. The slow and horrifying realization that The Mushroom War was nuclear Armageddon. Mushroom clouds. That went so far over my head as a kid even though they reference it constantly. It finally clicked during “I remember you”. Which I am NOT gonna go into because holy fuck that’s like 18 posts on its own.

12. Goliad! A child mirroring EVERYTHING they see, for better or worse. Seeing Jake in a bad moment screaming at the kids and goliad absorbing that behavior. Seeing she can use fear to control people. Also PB was Fucking Crazy! Her line “I’m not gonna live forever… I would if I could” is even more unhinged when we learn (like years later) that she’s already 900 years old. But she does physically age so I guess there’s that. The Suitor also falls into this category of episodes.

Ok getting into some of the more talked about moments

1. OK I LIED I have to talk about I remember you. I was 11 years old. I turned on the new adventure time episode like usual. 10 minutes later I was grappling with a grief I had never imagined before. Absolutely BAWLING not just for Simon and Marceline (the PLOT), but for what it showed me. The reality that every kid tries not to think about: your loved ones will leave you someday, even if they don’t want to. It’s an episode that becomes more powerful with every year I get older. To get a bit personal, dementia has completely taken my grandparents from me. I’ve seen sides of my grandfather that should never have existed, and I must constantly forgive him for what he does… now that he doesn’t remember me. And someday it’ll be my parents. That’s just the way of the world, ya know? Anyways, I remember my mom got home right as the credits were rolling and we had a long talk about keeping people alive with memory, mortality, and how the future was far away and we should decide on dinner lmao.

2. The Hall of Egress. I was almost 15. Life was changing. I was changing, and it was strange and frightening. That feeling where you know you’re losing your childhood but you just want to cling to it. Follow the same old familiar path, stick with what’s comfortable. But life doesn’t work that way. It took me years to really understand this episode and it’s symbolism. Honestly I still don’t think I could fully explain it. It’s like. How do I put this. I was so glad to be in the target age group in that moment. I was so glad that something I was growing up with was assuring me “you’re changing, but we’re changing too”. And isn’t that the theme of adventure time? Everything stays, but it still changes.

3. The absolute horror of Ferns existence. He’s Finn, but he’s wrong and warped. All those memories of the people he loves and they can’t stand to be in the same room as him.

4. Susan Strong. The introduction of a RUNNING PLOT. The show up to that point had really been so goofy and so monster of the week. I think the only really plot heavy episode before this one was It Came From the Nightosphere? And then suddenly they call into question the fact that Finn really is the ONLY HUMAN in all of OOO. And then… is he? It was SUCH a departure from the usual tone. Ending that episode with him reaching below her hat and gasping in shock, but never telling the audience what he found. And then she’s just gone. Which leads us to Islands!

5. Min and Marty. Second saddest episode in the entirety of adventure time, made worse because you know exactly how this family is gonna end up. There’s SO MUCH to dissect about Martins behavior in the series. A reformed con artist receives a traumatic brain injury while attempting to save his son. They’re both lost at sea, and he never looks for him. Was it the emotional trauma? Was it the physical damage? Meanwhile a mother loses her husband and her child in a single night and never EVER learns why. Nobody but Martin knows what happened that night. Also Finns fear of the ocean from season 1 is finally explained. 7 years of ignoring Finns origins and then they throw you THIS??? Watching it live was unreal.

Anyways I’m sure I’ll think of more. I might add on to this later for my own sake lmao, but I’d love to hear other peoples formative moments, quotes, episodes, etc. I really just needed to dump this information out of my brain so I can get on with my week.

[the-sky-the-stars-the-sea]

Day Four of The Ultimate Dragon Prince Rewatch 🙌🙌

Season four season four!

Okay today I might actually be more head empty but here goes

Opening right where season three left off was genius, we finally get new content adding on to the last thing we saw.

Callum tracing a finger over the mirror…the Viren parallels…love to see parallels hate that Callum is having a parallel and therefore a character is fate moment…

I love how Rayla and Ezran’s relationship stayed exactly the same when she came back. Because he forgave her on sight. She didn’t quite break him like she broke Callum, but Ezran has always been more easy to forgive (so his season six moment when he tells Viren he doesn’t deserve mercy hits hard)

Point 1: I love the wedding proposal. Point 2: I love how Amaya not understanding what was going on and attacking the dancers foreshadowed the cultural differences and violent actions to come

TERRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Claudia and Terry truly are The ADHD couple. I love them.

Oh the difference between the breathing spell (runes) and the breathing spell (dark magic)…

Also Claudia has been associated with bats twice here, once with the puffer bats and another with the bats wings which I guess are supposed to show she’d evil but I just think she looks awesome, and I’m not sure if it means something but it’s definitely interesting

Viren is showing obvious PTSD. And I stopped sympathizing with Viren season three, but in this season…he’s not all powerful and slightly inhuman anymore. He’s painfully human, and very afraid. And so a little bit of sympathy does go out from me to him in this moment. (Also Terry is allowed to use the words “panic attack” and does everything right to comfort Viren, I love him 🥺)

I love Viren’s speech as he wonders how he wants to spend his last thirty days. I would have loved to see him do that. (I might need a spinoff miniseries actually.) But Claudia won’t allow it. And that’s why there’s more story.

The ruined painting, Ezran’s speech, Claudia and Ibis’s fight, Corvus’s Song of Love and Sorrow…chills every single time. And how they parallel each other too. Ezran’s “stop!” with Claudia and Ibis continuing to fight, and then the Song of Love and Sorrow playing when Ibis is about to kill Claudia but then Terry kills him…an act of love that leads to sorrow. I just…no more words. The storytelling design…it was just perfect, and hit exactly how it was meant to.

As much as I hate seeing Terry in pain I’m glad they showed us just how much killing messed him up. Because so far we haven’t really been shown a lot of regret/hauntedness when it comes to taking a life. I think this might be what Rayla would look like if she killed. But we already know she hates showing weakness, so she would not allow herself to put herself in a position where she might show weakness.

I love you Terry I love you “I’m not going to stop feeling things. In fact, I’m gonna feel ALL the feelings!”

As Zubeia is telling the story of what happened to Aaravos, you can see Tidebound Tina/Akiyu making Aaravos’s prison. A little detail I didn’t register the first time I watched because she didn’t become vital to the narrative til the next season

Also chills when she’s describing Aaravos’s targets and Rayla puts it together: “mages.” (ahhhhh Callummmmm why must your sweet and pure curiosity for magic the very thing that might be your downfallllll)

Aaravos possessing Callum…no, I definitely don’t like this part. Even though he made awful things come out of Callum’s mouth, not one of them were about to anger enough to lash out. Which to me is interesting because usually when Evil Guy is in Beloved One’s body someone is about to do something before someone else yells out “No you can’t hurt them!” So it’s just. It’s really interesting to me that Aaravos said all those things and none of them even lifted a finger. Like they knew fighting Aaravos possesing Callum would only hurt Callum. And I don’t know I think it shows how much trust they have in Callum that they don’t need to fight for him, if that makes any sense?

I love seeing Soren and Rayla caring for each other and how worried she is when he doesn’t come back. They’ve come along way since trying to kill each other, and season three’s “ugh, this guy again?”

“Yip yip?” My friend who is Avatar first TDP second was ranting about how only Jack de Sena is allowed to say “yip yip”

Anyways I like how Soren is befriending dragons instead of tying them down

*haven’t seen each other for two years* “why…why are you wearing pajamas?” *spend five minutes talking about pajamas* YESSS THAT’S EXACTLY HOW SIBLINGS REUNITE THEIR BOND IS NOT COMPLETELY BROKEN (yet 😔💔)

So Soren seeing Viren come back is double trauma for him, because he already has the mental image of him killing Viren seared into his mind, I don’t care if he learned quickly it was an illusion, that is Not something you can ever get out of your head; also he has spent the last two years with the small comfort knowing that his father could never gaslight or manipulate him again. And does Viren try to apologize for anything he’s done to Soren? No.

Head empty in the first zone of peril, I agree with N’than I actually would have stayed in there with all the pretty gems at the price of my life

Love the comedic voiceovers when the screen is completely dark

Two years later and Terry coming out to Viren makes me emotional. As a trans person myself, seeing someone in the story talk about their trans-ness really means a lot to me

Rayla saying “yeah…I like talking” when Callum wakes her up…no, we’ve seen how she doesn’t like reason or riddles or feelings. But she wants Callum to talk to her again. And suddenly she likes talking. Because it gives her hope that Callum can forgive her. Aaaand then he asks her to kill him. And then she honks his nose and suddenly they got their old dynamic back, even if just for a moment

I love Janai. She’s made some tough choices. But I love how she doesn’t let her brother sway her. Lucia was found guilty, but they don’t need to kill her. Karim challenged her to a blood duel, but she did not need to fight it kill hill. “I make history. History does not make me.” YESSSSSSS QUEEEEN 🙌

The brown sludge tarts being what won over Rex was also genius. He didn’t need things that mattered to them. Ezran saw that, and gave him something that could matter to him.

“I’m going to do something less cruel [than waking him up with stinky feet]. I’m going to stab him.” I mean…you’re not wrong

Amd then!!!! Soren faces trauma aGAIN when he thinks he fails Ezran because it looks like Ezran died in the dragon’s cave, and he already failed in preventing Harrow from dying, and so to him it looks like he’s doing the same thing again!! True Ezran doesn’t actually die but Soren’s panic and haunting past were real!!!

My gosh I love it when Terry tells Claudia what he thinks about what she did to Rayla. He lays it all out: he trusts her and supports her even though he’s seen her do a lot of awful things, because he knew that she had a good reason. But her tricking Rayla was cruel. And so he walks away. And Claudia shrinks in on herself, obviously looking like she feels bad. And that’s why she returns the coins to Rayla. Because she doesn’t want that feeling again. (She’s at the tipping point of being too far gone…but she’s not there yet)

Callum’s face when reuniting with Rayla 🥹

Aaaaaand Viren did dark magic 😔

Head really empty now. Very good season.

[oddlittlestories]

I love Monk. I’m not really recommending it because, well, it IS about police and it DOES have some fairly ableist content. But I love it.

Monk is an interesting character. He’s introduced as having an “anxiety disorder” that occurred from the traumatic event of his wife being murdered. Over the course of the show, it becomes pretty clear that he was neurodivergent his whole life, but had a serious spike in support needs after his wife’s death. He has one nurse, but he should pretty clearly have two—even if one is a part-time respite nurse. Many of his “boundary violations” obviously come from seeking needed support at inappropriate times. This man should not really be left alone, at least not at the start of the show. He can’t cope. But also getting a new nurse / assistant / I forget the specific word is very very difficult for him.

He’s billed, I believe, as having OCD. But if you just look at his behavior, there are several labels that could fit. Autism would probably be one of them.

A lot of the humor in the show revolves around his disability, which could and may to some feel like the show makes his disability the butt of the joke. With some notable exceptions (fuck you medication episode) I don’t really think this is the case.

Let’s look at the pilot. Sharona, his nurse, goes on a date and leaves him alone on “chicken pot pie night.” She tells him, you’ll be fine! Even my son could cook a chicken pot pie. He cannot cook a chicken pot pie. He is counting out individual peas. To me, this is funny because of how obvious it is that he needs more support.

He literally calls her son for help. This is hilarious because it obviously wasn’t her intention, but her son is actually walking Monk through how to make a chicken pot pie. The literalism - that Benjy really CAN help him cook a chicken pot pie - is funny to me.

I’m also very interested in how the show interacts with both work and the police. Monk is not capable of working full-time, and although he desperately wants to go back at first, eventually he accepts that as a consultant, he can have the flexibility he needs to still find murderers.

The police officers he works with often feel threatened and embarrassed by him, but at the same time need his talents. Jealousy comes up often. And since the main officers are at least duly sympathetic, this gets explored as awful instead of brushed off as campy villainy from antagonists.

I also really like the way gaze is used in the show. Monk comes onto a crime scene and others watch as he makes a bunch of pronouncements, struggles with one anxiety or another, gets support from his nurse, and then explains his pronouncements. I like that it seems like folks are disturbed by his need for support, but that the show frames the support as a positive thing and the anxiety itself as a struggle.

Monk is also a person. He loved his wife. He plays the clarinet. He doesn’t have much time to pursue hobbies or interests outside of managing his disability and doing the work which he loves and seems compelled to do in equal measure. But he IS a person.

Anyways I’m not necessarily saying go out and watch it. It has many flaws and it is ableist at times, and it doesn’t bother to fully unpack how the people in Monk’s life respond to him, nor always to explore his agency and individuality. He is a fussy and fastidious detective, which is a common archetype, but they don’t always go as far beyond that as they should.

Like I said, it’s not House. But I’m gonna probably rewatch all of it now that it’s on Netflix.

[sweetkpopmusings]

long for you (act two) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: i've returned with the second part of "long for you!" this is potentially the longest section, but we'll see :^) also ah! if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please reply to this or send me an ask <3 pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 7.7k | warnings: mentions of food/eating, a kiss, some crying | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

act two: the lovers 

“sorry we are starting with something so stereotypical,” hyunjin smiles sheepishly as you both slide into your seats with fresh drinks.

“it’s okay! coffee shop dates are a default for me, if i’m being honest.”

they nod, pleased with your answer, “well then, why don’t you tell me about some of your other defaults?”

“meaning?”

“tell me about the music you listen to on repeat, the shows you watch and rewatch, your favorite color shirt to wear, your go-to story to tell at a party…” hyunjin pauses, pink tinting their ears when realizing he’s starting to ramble, “should i give you more examples?”

you laugh, “no, i think i get the gist of what you’re asking. hmm, let’s see…”

hyunjin waits patiently while you gather your thoughts and find a good place to start. it’s always a bit intimidating when you try to figure out the perfect conversation piece for a date. even if you’ve talked with someone over text beforehand, a lot rides on the first part of yourself that you share, even if it isn’t anything particularly vulnerable. perhaps because you’re a writer, you’re always hyper-aware of impressions, specifically the first ones you leave on and have about others. with hyunjin, your nerves dissipated after you walked through the coffee shop doors and waved to them. this arrangement, fake as it is, lends itself to a real comfort from the very beginning. you are not there to impress hyunjin. you’re there to know him for the sake of knowing him, and he’s there for the sake of knowing you.

hyunjin remains engaged with each anecdote you share, reacting enthusiastically at the exciting bits and showing concern at the right times. they even ask follow-up questions, make silly comments, and write down some new content to check out per your recommendation. by the time your drinks are halfway gone, you realize you’ve been the main one talking.

“so, when do i get to hear about your defaults? it feels as though i’ve been talking your ear off this entire time.”

hyunjin smiles, “i haven’t noticed! it’s really enjoyable listening to you.”

a sweet silence fills the space between you as they smile from across the table. you feel heat rising to your face at the tender attention, but, thankfully, it dissipates when hyunjin starts to speak.

“maybe it’s cliché, but i feel like it’s only natural if i start by talking about painting.”

“yes, please! i’d love to know about how that became your focus in art and life.”

hyunjin grins, a visible spark appearing in their eyes, “contrary to popular belief, painting wasn’t the first artistic medium i tried. i actually thought i’d pursue sculpture. there was something about it being so tactile, you know? like being able to feel the artwork with my bare hands, it was like my body movements were a part of the piece itself. and, being a pretentious college student, i loved leaving my actual fingerprint as my signature on each sculpture.”

hyunjin rolls their eyes, and you laugh, “oh, don’t even get me started on the pretentious stuff i used to do with writing assignments in high school and college.”

“oh, we’ll definitely be coming back to that,” hyunjin teases, “but even with my dramatic flair, sculpting started to…not necessarily bore me, but become…mundane. it was as though i hit a creative wall. none of my sculptures inspired me anymore; nothing seemed to go right. changbin reassured me that it was probably just a slump–we all have them, creative or not, as he said–i just knew that it was deeper than that. i was always searching for something in my work, and it felt like i had lost it in sculpting. then, by a stroke of luck or fate or good ole early adulthood happenstance, i attended a painting class. i don’t even remember why i took that particular class. immediately, though, it was like i was on fire with ideas. i remember my friends having to force me to leave the studio and eat, shower, or exist as a normal human being,” they laugh, slightly embarrassed at their former self’s antics, “eventually i calmed down from that initial creative high, of course. the fulfillment and energy painting gave me lasted. even today, even right now while talking about it, i can feel the urge to sketch out new ideas. so, i guess this is a long-winded way of me saying that, after taking a singular painting class, i fell in love with it, and years later i still haven’t expressed all that i need to through it.”

you nod, gratefully absorbing all of the information hyunjin shared with you. you notice there was an electricity in their voice when he discussed painting, hands gesturing excitedly and precisely when discussing how painting made them feel. regardless of your relationship with the art form, hyunjin’s description of it made you want to give painting a go. if you were honest, something about hyunjin’s words left you craving the feeling of a paintbrush in your hand. their words are like magic, and you wonder if all the great painters before had ever spoken so beautifully about the practice themselves.

“that’s incredible, hyunjin. it’s obvious you’re in the right field.”

he giggles, tucking his hair behind his ear, “i’m glad you think so. i always trust the judgment of a fellow artist.”

you giggle in response to their wink, and continue, “if you’re willing, i’d love to see some of your work. i know i could look it up online, but i figured i’d abstain from an internet investigation before our first fake date.”

hyunjin laughs, “i really appreciate that, y/n. i promise i didn’t read any of your writing before this.”

you feel a wave of relief wash over you, surprised that you were nervous about the prospect of hyunjin reading your work. before you could dwell on that mini revelation, hyunjin speaks again.

“rather than just show you some of my paintings, i think there’s something better we could do.”

their smile is playful, and you can’t deny the butterflies that flutter in your chest when you imagine the possibilities of what could be going on inside hyunjin’s head.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sunlight washes over you, pleasantly warm and gently bright. hyunjin busies themself with the setup of the easels–small ones, so you both could sit comfortably on the picnic blanket he brought–and meticulously arranges the painting supplies. they hum a vaguely familiar melody, and your mind and body relax as you eat fresh fruit and sip homemade lemonade. 

“ah!” hyunjin claps their hands together, “perfect!”

you give him a round of applause, which they respond to with a bow and thank you, thank you.

with two blank canvases in front of you, hyunjin asks, “do you know where you’re going to start?”

“hmmm,” your eyes sweep around the park, observing shadows fluttering in the shape of tree leaves and happy people walking and chatting down the park’s path, “ironically, i’m finding it hard to think of something when this place is so…idyllic.”

hyunjin sighs, more dreamily than in exasperation, “i totally get what you mean. maybe we can find a random prompt online?”

“what, like use a painting prompt generator?”

hyunjin makes a look of disgust, as cute and earnest as a toddler refusing vegetables, “no! i mean look for a list of prompts on tumblr or something and then choose one that sounds viable for us to complete on our date.”

biting your lip to prevent the instinctual smile that would erupt after a beautiful person says something like our date, you reply, “that works for me. why don’t you choose, as you’re the resident artist here?”

hyunjin agrees and gets right to work scouring the internet for the perfect picnic date painting idea. you busy yourself with finding the perfect playlist for your activity, which aids hyunjin in deciding on a prompt.

“how does painting the view from your bedroom window sound?”

“how do you know what the view from my bedroom window is?”

hyunjin’s eyes go wide, and they start shaking their hands frantically, desperate to dispel the thought of knowing anything about your bedroom, so you laugh and speak again before they fall too far down the rabbit hole, “i’m just teasing you, hyunjin! i know you’re not a creep who has previously snuck into my bedroom. that sounds like a perfect idea for our paintings.”

“phew!” hyunjin wipes imaginary sweat from their brow, “i’m glad we’ve cleared that all up. so let’s get started! let me know if you would like any tips along the way. i doubt you’ll need any, but i have made plenty of mistakes while mixing colors and choosing brush sizes to be quite the teacher.”

you both giggle at this admission and soon shout ready, get set, go! as you pick up your brushes. despite the racelike commentary, you both take your time. there is a calmness surrounding you, conversation sparse and ease abundant. much to your surprise, hyunjin asks for your advice a couple of times on their painting choices. you’re honored, which you tell them, and they only give you a look of confusion.

“what’s so strange about me asking for insight? you’re someone with a beautiful mind, and i’d be a fool not to appreciate your proximity.”

“you really know how to butter someone up, don’t you?”

hyunjin shakes his head, “according to changbin, i can only flirt unintentionally. it has to be natural; otherwise, i talk like someone who hasn’t had contact with another human in far too long.”

you laugh, not quite believing him, but you thank them for how they view your creativity. they jump at every opportunity you give them to discuss your painting, each time responding with grace and consideration. while you don’t spend too much of your time talking, you learn that everything hyunjin does with art is full of intention. that, you realize, must be what draws you in so intensely to their words and into the painting they hold before you.

“what do you think?”

hyunjin’s eyes are wide with anticipation as you scan every detail: the blue tint on the walls, the knick-knacks cluttering the desk, the dawn colors in the sky, and the two butterflies, mid-flight, just ahead of the windowsill.

“wow,” you breathe out softly, “it’s beautiful, hyunjin. i feel like i’m at home.”

they beam at your response and say about a thousand thank you’s in the span of about 20 seconds. when you show your painting, hyunjin takes just as much care in viewing yours. his focus is a little intimidating because of the ardor with which they examine your piece, but you trust that they won’t say anything too critical.

“this is stunning, y/n!”

you blush, a little taken aback by the passion, “you think so?”

hyunjin nods vigorously, “absolutely! i love everything about it. the textures, the colors, the items you included…all of it fits together so perfectly. sitting right in front of it makes me feel as though i’m safe from the outside world. it’s…serene.”

your head turns toward your painting, reviewing everything hyunjin mentioned, almost as though you’re looking for evidence of their claims. before your gaze can turn skeptical, hyunjin’s voice breaks your concentration.

“can i have it?”

you whip your head towards them, “huh?”

they gesture to the canvas beside you, “your painting. can i have it? i’d love to hang it above my desk, as an inspiration and a reprieve. i totally understand if you aren’t comfortable with that, or if you want to keep it for yourself, so no pressure! i just…well, honestly, i’d love to look at it and be reminded of today.”

you pretend you don’t notice the pinkness of hyunjin’s ears in hopes that they don’t notice the same flush on your skin, “um, yeah. yes! i’d be more than happy to give this to you.”

they nearly squeal with excitement and beg you to sign it. after your signature is placed in the corner, you hand it over to hyunjin. they stare at it lovingly, holding it with more care than you ever would have. after a little while, they look back up at you.

“why did you choose to paint the sunset at the very end, when there aren’t that many colors left in the sky?”

you can’t say that you thought it through before putting brush to canvas, but you pause before answering. if it’s for hyunjin’s curiosity, you’re more than willing to dig around in your brain for unearthed motivations.

“i think,” you start, not entirely confident but fully honest, “i think that i notice more of the world that’s right outside my room as i’m saying goodbye to the day. it’s like a transition from my public life to my private life, and, even though the night is only beginning, that time of day is when i can safely say ‘see you tomorrow’ to anything that isn’t in my home. that, or i just liked the colors of dusk better.”

you both laugh, and hyunjin sets the painting back on the easel before replying, “whatever the case, i’m honored that you’re letting me into that window of time with you. i’ll cherish this perspective, this moment, forever.” 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

you fidget with your clothes, tugging them to be sure they’re in exactly the right place, as hyunjin knocks on the door. 

they turn to you and smile, “don’t worry, y/n, you look perfect.”

you smile back, now messing with your accessories, “thank you. i guess i feel extra nervous because i’m not used to going to things like this without felix or jisung.”

you feel a little embarrassed to admit that, but hyunjin shows no sign of judgment. instead, they pat you gently on the shoulder. the right amount of comfort.

“i know what you mean. you’ve got me though! let me know at any time if you need an escape. plus, i’m pretty sure felix will be here, so he can run away with you too.”

a giggle escapes your lips as changbin opens the apartment door, loudly greeting you and hyunjin.

“y/n! so glad you could make it!” changbin grins widely, beckoning you and hyunjin into his place.

as soon as you’re inside, changbin wraps his arm around hyunjin’s waist and places a kiss on their cheek. hyunjin laughs and wipes his cheek with the back of their hand, which earns a complaint from changbin.

“i love you, but i don’t want your cooties.”

“since when is it a crime to kiss the homies?”

“oh my god, changbin, you did not just say that,” a voice of disapproval chimes in from the living room.

you turn to the source of the voice and notice someone with long hair–similar to hyunjin’s, just lighter–and sharp features. before you even need to ask, hyunjin whispers jeongin to you. 

“as in…?”

hyunjin nods, “yes, the jeongin who is ruining my life with his exhibition theme.”

jeongin turns his head so you can see him roll his eyes, “for once, our emo boy can’t come up with something heart-wrenching. i’m assuming that’s where you come in?”

he raises an eyebrow to you, more playful than inquisitive, so you nod, “yep! hyunjin’s muse, reporting for duty.”

you hear changbin laughing from the kitchen, and it grows louder as he returns with your drinks, “please, make yourselves at home! minho is almost done with the food, and felix should be here soon, so get comfortable!”

hyunjin guides you to the living room, and you catch a glimpse of minho working hard on the meal you’ll all devour far too quickly. yet another handsome member of the friend group–dizzying to think about how many attractive people are currently surrounding you–he also carries distinct features, particularly a sharp nose, and holds himself with certainty.

somehow reading your mind, hyunjin leans over to you, “don’t be intimidated. we’re obviously the hottest people here.”

you both snicker like schoolchildren, and you feel your shoulders relax bit by bit. felix’s arrival helps, especially since he engulfs you into one of his classic hugs the second he’s within arm’s reach.

“felix! you act like you didn’t just see me yesterday,” you chuckle, not making a move to break the embrace.

“yeah, yeah, i need to make sure your partner here doesn’t forget who comes first!” 

felix sticks his tongue out at hyunjin, causing them to throw their head back in laughter. almost perfectly on cue, minho calls out to confirm that dinner is ready. changbin rushes around to serve everyone’s dishes, only being slightly micromanaged by minho. the conversation continues easily, while you all enjoy the graciously prepared meal. you learn not just about the new people in the room, but more about hyunjin: how they were in university, endless tales of their clumsiness, his affinity for painting flowers and portraits of strangers, as well as his never-ending love and support for those close to him. endeared only scratches the surface of the warm feeling growing inside you as you discover these qualities of hyunjin’s. if you were honest, you never wanted the conversation to go in a different direction. your heart was full learning more about the person at your side, and you were thoroughly entertained by all the faces he made when his friends embarrassed him. perhaps chasing the same warmth, hyunjin steers the conversation toward you.

“it feels a little silly to ask basic questions,” minho smirks, “hyunjin has already told us so much about you.”

felix giggles, “how could they not? y/n is the best.”

you smile at felix and then at hyunjin, who is trying to convince you that minho is exaggerating. 

“i’ll only accept the best for our hyunjin, so let’s see if you really meet those standards, y/n,” changbin jokingly assumes the persona of a hardcore journalist, ready to get to the bottom of the night’s biggest story.

with that, hyunjin’s friends ask you question after question, sometimes starting with hyunjin told us about this, but we’d love to hear more from you in order to make hyunjin squirm in their seat. hyunjin’s adorableness reduces any anxiety or stress you would have normally felt when getting, for lack of a better term, examined by their friends. with him and felix on either side of you, you feel like you are in on the fun, not trapped in the spotlight.

“okay, okay, i think we can give y/n a break from the interview,” hyunjin puts their hands up in your defense.

changbin sighs, leaning back in his seat, “fine, but only because you asked, hyunjinnie.”

you could almost hear a collection of heart emojis coming from changbin’s mouth. it is funny how flirtatious he is with hyunjin, but you couldn’t deny a twinge of jealousy every time he made hyunjin blush. sure, you are fake dating them. but is it so out-of-pocket to feel as though you should be the one making hyunjin giggle, twirl their hair, and kick his feet? you make a mental note to ask felix that very question tomorrow, crossing your fingers that you were just feeling very committed to the bit and nothing else. 

hours pass in the blink of an eye, and you only realize how tired you feel once felix mentions the time. 

jeongin stretches, quickly standing up from the couch, “well, since changbin promised he would do all the dishes, i vote we all leave quickly so as to not hold him back from his chores!”

changbin yells in protest to no avail against jeongin’s mischievous grin. minho mutters something about “the kids” fighting again as he walks back to the kitchen. you hear the sink running and decide to invite minho to any dinner party you throw in the future.

felix checks his pockets to ensure he didn’t leave anything, turning to you before heading to the entryway, “would you like me to accompany you home?”

you shake your head, “no, that’s okay, felix! we live in opposite directions, and i can safely get home by myself. you go and get some rest!”

“who said you’re getting home by yourself?” hyunjin tilts his head.

changbin whoops from the kitchen, causing felix to laugh and hyunjin to quickly clarify, “i mean, who said that your partner wouldn’t make sure that you arrive home in one piece? it’s the chivalrous thing to do.”

“as long as it’s chivalrous and nothing more…” felix makes an i’m watching you gesture towards hyunjin.

you roll your eyes and wave goodbye to felix. within a handful of minutes, you and hyunjin are saying your goodbyes. hyunjin helps you to put on your shoes, and the two of you have almost escaped when changbin pulls hyunjin in for another kiss on the cheek.

“oh, come on!” hyunjin groans while changbin giggles in pure delight.

“bye, y/n! it was lovely having you here. you’re welcome back any time, with or without them!” changbin smiles at you.

you thank him, and minho, for dinner again. as you and hyunjin step into the hall, you are hit with another wave of tiredness.

hyunjin notices and drapes your coat around your shoulders, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

you nod, grateful that you don’t have to worry about staying awake to get home safely.

the two of you enjoy a comfortable silence as you make your way to your place. here and there, you share a smile, a knowing glance that both of you are quite happy to be there, together. there is a small pang in your chest when you reach your door, realizing that you’ll have to part ways with hyunjin now.

“so, i’ll see you in a few days for our next date?” hyunjin asks, hands in their pockets as they stand in front of you.

“of course! i’m looking forward to it.”

hyunjin grins. you start to turn toward your door, but you notice that they are staring at you.

“what’s up?”

hyunjin shakes his head slightly, as though they’re breaking themselves out of a trance, “nothing! sorry, i was just thinking about something.”

“care to share?” you raise an eyebrow, reenergized with curiosity.

their hand rubs the back of their neck, and they look down to the floor briefly, “i was running through the stereotypical goodbyes at the end of dates like this.”

you nod, only partially following their train of thought. they look back up at you, brown eyes soft yet focused. you’re not sure why, but you feel electricity in your fingertips beneath their gaze.

“in movies and books, nights like this usually end with a goodbye kiss.”

“oh, i see…” your voice fades, unsure of what to say next.

“we don’t have to! it just came to mind. probably an intrusive artistic thought. you know how creative brains live for the drama,” hyunjin jokes.

you laugh softly, somewhat halfheartedly, as you process what they said. you speak again, before they get too nervous.

“i wouldn’t be opposed to it,” you admit, “for the plot, of course.”

hyunjin’s eyes widen slightly in shock, but they nod quickly, “yes, for the plot! we should kiss for the plot!”

that sentence in particular earns a giggle from you, which relaxes hyunjin enough to take the necessary steps toward you. when you’re close enough to feel the heat radiating off each other’s bodies, hyunjin catches your gaze.

“are you sure?”

mustering up as much volume as you can–curse those big, beautiful brown eyes and all their charm–you respond, “yes, i’m sure.”

with that, hyunjin’s fingers delicately grace your chin, pulling you towards them. sweetly, like a hushed voice in a beautiful library, your lips meet. the kiss is quick, nothing too involved, but the sensation of hyunjin being so close to you, right beneath your fingertips, melts you in a way you can’t be sure that you’ve felt before. 

when you open your eyes, you see that hyunjin’s are still closed, despite separating your lips a dozen or so seconds ago. the corners of your mouth lift, appreciating the innocent look on hyunjin’s face.

“wow,” hyunjin whispers, brown eyes observing you with a soft fervor, “thank you.”

oblivious to how much you’re blushing, you reply with a confident, “no, thank you.”

they smile widely, amused by the playful tone of your voice. judging by the look on his face, this is the best ending to the night that hyunjin ever could have imagined. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

stretching your arms and groaning, you remove your body from the position it had been locked in for the past couple of hours. you know the knock on the door was hyunjin–it hadn’t taken long for you to memorize what it sounded like for him to be near–so you do your best to open the door quickly and cheerily, despite your aching neck and shoulders.

“so sorry i’m late!” hyunjin exclaims, “changbin wasn’t letting me leave lunch, despite my insistence that i had a very important date to attend.”

you roll your eyes as you step to the side, letting hyunjin into your home, “are you sure you two aren’t dating?”

they scrunch their nose in light disgust, “i am certain. i love changbin, but we are not compatible partners, no matter what he may try to convince you of.”

you laugh, feeling a little more joyous at that admission than you probably should. hyunjin asks you about your day as you collect snacks to share, and he happily chats about anything and everything. whenever together, it seems as though neither of you would ever run out of words.

“so, are you ready?” hyunjin stretches their hands and wrists.

you nod, eyeing the stereotypical leather journal in front of them, “probably not as ready as you are.”

he giggles at the reference to the journal, “well, if i’m going to be in the presence of a real writer, i have to at least look the part, right?”

“what does that make me then, with my laptop on a metal stand in front of me?”

they hum, feigning deep thought before replying, “cute. it makes you cute.”

you scoff at the sly cheesiness, still having to turn your head in an attempt to hide the blush, “all right shakespeare, what do you say we get to writing?”

“i could never say no to you, y/n,” hyunjin replies with a sugary sweet tone and extra honey in their eyes.

with that, you two find your focus. after painting together, you suggested a writing date. admittedly, the suggestion came from your need to work on your novel as much as it came from the desire to spend more creative time with hyunjin. they, of course, jumped at the opportunity, clearly feeling just as fond of your painting session as you. 

save for the low-volume background music, the sound of your keyboard, and hyunjin’s pen on paper, your home is delightfully silent. very quickly after hyunjin’s arrival, you make more progress than you had the entire day. hyunjin notices how in the zone you are, pausing their own work to appreciate your furrowed brow and fixed gaze on the screen. attached to the story unfolding in front of you, you’re not quite sure how long he has been observing you before you feel their eyes on you.

“is there something on my face?” your eyes flit to meet hyunjin’s before returning to the screen.

“just an admirable amount of concentration,” they chuckle, “though i’d hate to interrupt your flow, let’s take a quick break, yeah?”

you sigh, feeling the soreness in your wrists and back from vigorous typing, “okay, i guess we should.”

they’re obviously pleased as they sit up straighter, “yay! i think we deserve some treats, don’t you?”

you laugh, “i mean, i’m literally doing my job here, so i don’t know if that warrants a treat.”

hyunjin frowns, “everything warrants a treat! what do you want? a little bevvie? some food? it’s on me, so dream big!”

you laugh again, sweeter this time, “you don’t have to do that, hyunjin.”

he waves his hand in the air, dismissing your claim, “i do. you’re hosting me and letting me partake in your creative genius. the least i could do is offer you a snack or something!”

you can tell they won’t back down, so you agree to give them your order for your favorite restaurant. when the food arrives, you and hyunjin migrate to the living room, spreading out your spoils and turning on content you both love. it is casual and comfortable, wildly familiar despite this being the first time you two have had dinner like this. hyunjin says so themself, much to your delight.

after the plates have been cleared and the dishes have been cleaned, you two wind up at the table again, writing for hours and talking about random topics during your little breaks. eventually, you feel your brain wearing out, so you suggest that the writing session comes to a close. 

“that sounds perfect to me,” hyunjin agrees, covering his mouth as he yawns, “was it successful for you?”

you hum happily, “yes! i can’t say that i made as much progress as i had hoped to, but i feel like i’m really fleshing out this story for the first time.”

hyunjin grins, “that’s wonderful! i’m so proud of you.”

your heart warms at their admission, and you ask, “how was it for you? come up with any masterpieces?”

they giggle, “i don’t know if i can call any of them masterpieces, but i did write some poems.”

“oh? you’re a painter and a poet?”

hyunjin looks away briefly, again tucking their hair behind their ear, “poetry is my favorite thing to write. i don’t do it very often because i’m not that adept at expressing myself in this way, but i enjoy the process every time.”

“expressing your thoughts with words gets easier with practice, so don’t discount yourself!” you reassure them, pausing to gain the courage to ask, “could i…would you mind if i read something you wrote?”

their ears immediately turn pink, but that doesn’t stop them from nodding and flipping through to a specific page, “here, this is my favorite one from today. please be nice in your feedback, for i am just a girl.”

you giggle at the last comment, and you graciously take the journal they place in your hands. the poem is short and impactful. in particular, you feel a few lines settling deep in your chest: a tenderness on fire / a lightness in your eyes / the unbearable closeness of desire / in the presence of your touch, in the proximity of your potential 

“hyunjin,” you say their name softly, only loud enough for them to hear, “this is beautiful. your voice is captivating, truly. thank you for letting me read it.”

“you really think so?” their eyes linger on you, full of curiosity and wonder.

you nod, “i do. i can’t believe you wrote this while sitting at my kitchen table. i love it.”

hyunjin puts their hand on their chest, over their heart, “that means a lot, y/n. thank you.”

“of course,” you smile, slipping once again into a comfortable silence with them.

hyunjin accepts his journal back, and then fiddles with the page, “you can have this one, if you want.”

your eyebrows raise, shocked and excited, “really? you’re sure?”

they nod eagerly, tearing the page out before you formally accept it, “yes! i have your painting hanging by my desk, so it’d be an honor if you had my poem literally anywhere in your home.”

you laugh at their dramatics, gently holding out your hands to receive their beautiful words, “i’ll hang it on my fridge, so i can see it every morning, afternoon, and night.”

with that, hyunjin trails behind you like a puppy while you place the handwritten poem on your fridge, held up by your favorite magnet. you both smile, admiring the work in your quiet kitchen. the silence is only broken by hyunjin’s yawn, which they cutely apologize for. when you look at the clock, you realize how late it has become.

“oh wow! are you sure you’re awake enough to get home safely?”

“yes, i’ll be okay!” hyunjin assures you, walking toward your table to gather their things.

as you watch them move, you see their body sway with sleepiness in a way that emphasizes their natural clumsiness. there is no way you can let them travel alone, across town, in this state.

“hyunjin, please stay here tonight.”

they freeze, turning their head to you after a few beats pass, “are you–would that be–really?”

you fight the smile at their flustered response, “yes, really. i wouldn’t be able to sleep if i let you go home when you’re this tired. i probably have some clothes you can borrow and an extra toothbrush i keep for emergencies. you can sleep in the bed, and i’ll take the couch.”

“wow, y/n, thank you for caring this much about my well being,” they reply in an incredibly genuine tone.

your expression has to have been one of why wouldn’t i care about your well being? because they quickly speak again, “i just wouldn’t have expected my fake dating partner to be so generous with their home! no way i’m stealing your bed from you tonight, though. i will be sleeping on the couch, and that’s final.”

despite your honest efforts to donate your bed to hyunjin for the night, they truly won’t have it. you make up the couch while they get ready for bed, stepping into the bathroom yourself once they make themselves comfortable in the living room. you feel some nerves ripple inside you as you brush your teeth, but they verge on excitement more than anxiety. it’s strange, being so comfortable with hyunjin so soon. it could be the reduced pressure of your arrangement, or, more likely, it’s their good-natured spirit. you can’t help the warmth that envelops you as they wish you sweet dreams in a velvety, singsongy voice. you also can’t help the way your body sinks into the softness of your bed in an entirely new way, as though you have been introduced to a new kind of safety, a new kind of home that you didn’t know existed. you wonder whether hyunjin feels the same way too.

after a short while, you pad out to your kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. hyunjin sleeps soundly on the couch, blanket perfectly wrapped around them and hands folded under their pillow to prop their head at the perfect angle. you stare, enchanted by the soft curves of their slightly parted lips, hypnotized by the melodic rise and fall of their chest. standing there in your living room in the middle of the night, you discover that your fondness for the person in front of you has blossomed into something much greater than anything you would have expected weeks ago when you agreed to this fake dating venture. for fear that your gaze will pull them out of their slumber, you step back into your room, turning once more at the doorway to ensure they are still peacefully resting. 

it doesn’t take much reflection to determine that you feel something special in hyunjin’s presence. though entirely unexpected and definitely not a part of the original plan, you know in your heart that you wouldn’t want it any other way.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

early in your “relationship,” you and hyunjin joked that, for a two-month anniversary, you should meet for dinner at a stereotypically romantic restaurant. both of you were people of your word, so it was no surprise when hyunjin made a reservation for a bistro in the area. 

you decide to dress up like a movie character going to a date pertinent to the story’s plot–this may not be a proposal dinner, but two months into a three-month fake relationship certainly was worth celebrating. adorning curated accessories and the best outfit you could create, you happily stride to hyunjin at the restaurant’s entrance. 

the space is bustling with people and conversation, but hyunjin’s greeting cuts through the noise with absolute clarity. 

“hi y/n, you look lovely.”

you take a moment to appreciate their outfit–a simple trouser and button-up combo amplified by an embroidered blazer and statement jewelry–and reply with enthusiasm, “hi hyunjin, you look lovely too.”

he offers you a soft smile before guiding you through the front door. the host takes you to a table by the window, and you slip into your usual beginning-of-the-date conversation. hyunjin asks you about your day, tells you about theirs, and you laugh together at stories of your beloved friends doing dumb things. 

getting the basics out of the way, you ask a question that’s been on your mind all day, “how is your painting series going?”

hyunjin lets out a small sigh, but quickly follows it with a smile, “i’ve made significant progress. i still have a long way to go, but, thankfully, i’m figuring out what i want to capture now.”

“oh, good!” you clap your hands, “i imagine the sigh was because of the stress? i know we are both coming close to the deadline.”

they take a sip of their water and nod, “yes, exactly. it’s difficult to appreciate creative breakthroughs when you’re hyper-aware of the clock ticking. how is the book?”

you grimace, “honestly…not as formed as i would hope, given there’s only a month left before i need to hand in the manuscript. the story is there, but i’m just not sure if i believe it, you know? and there’s the matter of the ending…”

hyunjin’s brow furrows, “isn’t it a guaranteed happy ending?”

“yes, thankfully i didn’t have to do the heavy-lifting of deciding whether the characters ended up together. i want to make sure, though, that the ending feels real. the lovers in the story are flawed. they make mistakes, they don’t always choose what’s best, they have big feelings and even bigger questions, and, ultimately, they’re realizing that they barely know anything about real love. i’m stuck trying to figure out how to grant them the gift of true love without losing the readers’ trust in my portrayal of the lived experience of loving someone. i think…i’m worried about whether people will agree that these characters have earned the happy ending.”

“if true love is the ending, then it’s not something they need to earn,” hyunjin muses, “i think everyone deserves true love.”

you let those words hang in the air, rolling them over in your mind. eventually, you smile at hyunjin.

“i’m not sure if that’s a conclusion i can come to naturally, but i think it’s beautiful that you have a romantic outlook on it all.”

they chuckle, “well, i’m sure that beautiful mind of yours will come up with the perfect ending, even if you don’t completely agree with my philosophy on the matter.”

after placing your orders, you both opt for quiet people-watching. the view of the city from that window feels intimate. just beyond a pane of glass is the world where you and hyunjin existed simultaneously before your paths ever crossed. while it’s probably the writer in you, you sit there wondering how many people could change each other’s lives, if only they were given the chance to meet. 

the conversation is minimal throughout the rest of the meal. at times, you catch hyunjin watching you, only for them to quickly look away, seemingly embarrassed. you smile to yourself, unable to resist the cliché cuteness of it all. 

after you catch them for the umpteenth time, you tease, “you know, if we’re fake dating, there’s nothing wrong with you staring at me.”

they laugh, tucking their hair behind their ear like clockwork, “i guess you’re right.”

“mhm,” you nod, leaning back in your seat, “what’re you thinking about when you look at me like that?”

hyunjin freezes, apparently caught off-guard by the question, “what am i thinking every time i look at you?”

“okay, maybe requesting an itemized list of your thoughts every time you look at me is a bit…extravagant, even for us,” you laugh, “so i guess i’m asking what you’re thinking of tonight, while you’re looking at me like that.”

he fidgets in his seat, and you worry that you’ve accidentally crossed a line into real-dating territory. you try not to scold yourself, at least not in the moment, because this faux-pas was bound to happen at some point or another, right? 

you open your mouth to apologize for the weird question, but hyunjin answers, “i think we should end this.”

oh.

your mouth opens a few times before you can finally vocalize the only word you can think of, “what?”

hyunjin runs their hand through their hair, only to spin a ring on their finger over and over again while they speak, “i think we should end this arrangement we have. it’s been a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong, and i know we’ve both benefited creatively from it. i just think it has…run its course, you know?”

this arrangement. that phrase crashes over you like a tidal wave. you know it shouldn’t shock you because this is a fake dating arrangement. but it seemed that both of you started to treat it as something more. at least, that’s the impression you got with the intimate moments shared, the growing comfort between you two, and the abundant sweetness that surrounded you when you were together. sitting at this table and hearing these words, however, is an indication that maybe you were wrong. regardless, you can’t deny the fact that this has always been an at-will situation. if hyunjin wants to break it off, they can, no questions asked.

“i see…” you reply, hoping the pause wasn’t too long, “if that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“i’m sorry if this came out of nowhere. it must feel kind of random since i sort of…blurted it out,” they smile sympathetically, “i just think that it’s for the best. plus, we’ve both gotten what we needed out of this, right? i’ve gotten my paintings, and you’ve gotten your story. we accomplished what we set out to do.”

sure, you’ve gotten what you needed, but had you gotten all that you wanted? it feels as though there’s no use in asking hyunjin. if they wanted the same thing as you, they almost definitely wouldn’t have made the suggestion to end things.

“yeah, mission accomplished.”

you offer a weak smile, unsure of what to say next. a silence falls over you two again, signaling not comfort but the end of the conversation. you both simply have run out of words.

after saying the last thing you would have expected, after compartmentalizing everything you had built and secretly hoped you would never lose, hyunjin reaches out their hand, “no harm, no foul, right?” 

choking back tears and mustering all your strength into keeping it together, you offer them your hand and reply, “no harm, no foul.”

hyunjin removes their hand from yours and quietly gathers their things. when they ask if you’ll be okay getting home on your own, you simply nod. hyunjin believes you, or at least respects your desire for space, so, with a small goodbye–not even a promise to see you soon–he walks out of the restaurant. instinctively, your eyes move toward the street to ensure they’re heading home safely, but hyunjin chooses to travel down a route out of your view. maybe that is for the best. 

almost as though you’re the character in the movie you used as fashion inspiration, you lose track of time as you sit alone at the table. you know you need to go home, you want to get out of here, but you can’t figure out how to. when the waiter asks if you’d like more water, you shake your head and inform them that you’ll actually be leaving. 

“i hope you enjoyed your dinner!” they grin politely. 

“yes, yes, everything was great,” you lie.

“come back soon!” they call after you as you step past the threshold of the building.

you’re on the street. you’re standing where, only hours ago, you told hyunjin they looked lovely. how bitter it is to experience how much your world can change on such short notice. before you get too wrapped up in those thoughts, you will your legs to move, heading in the direction that will take you home. instinctively, you pull out your phone and call felix. when he picks up and says your name, everything falls apart.

“hey, are you okay? what’s going on?”

you sniffle, clear your throat, and beg your voice to do its job, “i don’t know, felix. i’m so confused. hyunjin…”

you hear felix jump to his feet on the other end, “did they hurt you? where are you? i’ll come get you.”

“no, they didn’t hurt me. well, not really. it’s,” a quick sob escapes your throat, muddling your words momentarily, “please come get me.”

“i’m coming. send me your location. i’ll be there as soon as i can.”

feeling comforted by the sound of his door closing behind him, you manage to say, “please bring jisung, too.”

“of course. stay where you are. stay safe. we’ll be right there. i love you, okay?”

“okay. i love you too. thank you,” you whisper, overwhelmed by the tears that stream endlessly.

after sending felix your exact location, you hide from the passersby against the corner of a building. with intense deep breathing and clenched fists, you manage to stop crying, at least enough for people to stop looking at you with concern. 

“y/n!” two familiar voices call out to you from across the street.

you smile when you see jisung and felix running towards you, and that gratitude breaks your resolve, so the tears come falling down all the same.

jisung’s face is saturated with worry, “hey, hey, what’s going on?”

felix, eyes glistening with tears, wraps an arm around you to safely lead you home. 

you stare at your feet, too emotional to look your dearest friends in the eyes while you admit, “hyunjin ended our…they broke…we won’t be seeing each other anymore. i don’t understand why, but…i think…my heart is broken.”

“oh, y/n…” felix laments.

jisung wraps his hand around yours and squeezes gently, “i’m so sorry. i honestly never would have expected this.”

“me neither,” you whisper, leaning even closer into felix, no longer distancing yourself from the truth.  

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght @tirena1 (<333 tysm)

[veeketchum]

I’m rewatching Voltron rn (since I was thinking back and all I could remember apart from the names of all the characters was that one monsters and mana episode) and I’m only like three episodes in but I LOVE it

one thing though-

why has no one written a isekai fic for Voltron?? I would eat that shit UP

(this is all based off the vague memories I have of the show when I first watched it, so apologies if something’s are wrong)

imagine just waking up as a newborn but you fully remeber your old life, including watching Voltron. You can practically FEEL that something is off about this world compared to the memories of your previous life, but you don’t know what until you see a sign for Garrison recruitment.

Holy shit you’re in Voltron.

You have absolutely no clue what to do, because if any isekai trope is to go by, you’re going to get dragged into the events of the show, even if you haven’t seen anyone you recognize yet.

so you prepare. Better to be safe than sorry. You research outer space, you study how to pilot, you get your hands on whatever books you can about tech and try to get familiar with how to use it, and most importantly, you learn medical procedures and how to deal with situations quickly.

the healing pods aren’t always available in the show, the castle loses power or the paladins are just too far away to get to them.

mind you, you start this all at like age 4, so your parents are probably a little concerned. But you seem content with it, and what parent would stop their child from reading?

then your parents enroll you in Garrison, without your knowledge. Not that you were mad exactly, but you were unsure if you were going to try and stay under the radar or not. Now you have no choice.

you keep your head down most of the time, praying none of the paladins show up. They don’t, at least not your first few years. It’s your third year that you spot Keith, in the freshman class.

surprise surprise, somehow your class is shifted to help train the younger class (even though you’re barely more experienced then them? You’re seriously questioning these teachers). You, against all odds, are paired with Keith. Y’all don’t talk much outside of what’s required- Keith is Keith, and you’re still trying to figure out the best way to go about this. You ask him for a few flying tips once, since you know how good he is, but he stared at you for a while before saying “aren’t you the more experienced one?” You just shrug, and neither of you speak about it again.

It rolls around to when they get that new piloting simulator, and both classes are to use it on different days. Shiro, of course, is there, just like in show. You, by memory at this point (you can’t even count how many nights you’ve sneaked into the normal simulator to practice, or the deck to spar), ace it, soaring over everyone else’s score- and by doing that, catch Shiro’s attention.

there goes staying under the radar.

——————————————

(I’m totally going to add to this, especially as I get further into my rewatch, but this is all I can think of at the moment.)

Idk, I just feel like this idea would totally be fun and new to the Voltron corner of tumblr. Again, only in the first few episodes and most of this is relying on my really old memories of the series, so sorry if it’s wrong in places.

[thedevilsoftruth]

Hey!, I just finished rewatching moon knight and now scrolling through the moon knight tags when I came across a post about how Mr knight is actually Marc Spector and Steven Grant is a playboy billionaire in the comics and I was shook. Then I came across your post of you ranting about the differences from the show to the comics, which blew my mind!, and now I’m so intrigued and curious about the true lore of moon knight, every time I try to search about it on google I just get references from the shows (so frustrating) I can’t afford to buy the comics, so if you can/want could you please tell me all the important and interesting facts/lore that’s in the moon knight comics?

Sorry for the long message, just came across your page and pressed follow, love your content!. ❤️

AAAAAAGGGGHHHH HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. GIIGLING AND KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR. HEY, LOOK MA, I MADE IT!! I GET TO EXPLAIN THE MOON KNIGHT COMICS LORE TO SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET!!

in all seriousness, this made my day. I'm so glad you enjoy my content, and I will happily explain to you the MK lore!

I completely get you on the not wanting to but the comics thing. Comics are expensive. Honey, imma be real with you, readcomiconline.li is where it's at. It's where I read all of the comics I didn't have.

So before I go on a tangent and explain things, and this goes for anyone wanting to start reading the comics, heres a little list of all the comics I've read so far in what I understand to be chronological order.

It's a little bit cheesy and a VERY long run, but Marc Spector: Moon Knight from 1989-94 is maaayybbeee where you want to start off, but maybe not. I didn't start off with this run, but even as bad as the old comics are, they're a bit important.

But, I HIGHLY suggest you start out with the Lemire and Smallwood run from 2016. It was the first run I completed, and it's an amazing run and VERY important to read. Many people say it's the best run. It's certainly a run, I'll tell you that. ( Also I didn't read that one online, I received it last year as a Christmas gift. Also readcomic doesn't have all of the issues, so be warned on that. )

Next I read From The Dead. And I moved on to Vengeance of The Moon Knight from 2009. And after I'd suggest reading Age of Khonshu, Devils Reign and then The Midnight Mission. You can read all of these for free on readcomiconline.li ( don't type in comics plural because it will direct you to the wrong site ) be warned though because there are a lot of ads and you will get jumpscared by anime boobies.

~~

Now moving onto what you asked me for. The important stuff, right.

I'm new to this whole comic reading stuff as well, and for anyone else reading this who knows more than I do, please add additional information I missed down in the reply section. It would mean a lot. So now I'm going to give a you a quick run down on Marc's origin story. ( And for a quick disclaimer, I will come off as not taking myself seriously in some parts of this post because I don't take myself seriously lol. )

Marc Spector was born on March 9th, 1987 in Chicago Illinois into a Jewish family. His father was Elias Spector and his mother was Wendy Spector ( his younger brother being Randall Spector )Elias was a rabbi who manged to escape Nazi prosecution during the days of Hitler and all that jazz. Because Elias was a rabbi, Randall would get picked on at school a lot, and Marc would be there to stand up for him. Even at a young age Marc was exposed to a lot of violence. That could come from growing up yk... Kinda poor and having to stand up for your lil bro.

Marc's violent nature was really born when a close family friend of his, Yitz Perlmen was discovered to be a secret serial killer who targeted Jews. From what I understand, Perlmen tried to Kill Marc ( mind you Marc was like 11 or 12 ) but Marc had escaped but his traumatic experiences led him to form D.I.D

As seen in the Lemire run, the first time Marc had encountered Khonshu was when he was 12 and was getting diagnosed for his D.I.D Marc wasn't told to his face from the doctor about his disorder and was told to step outside the office. Marc tried to evesdrop on the conversation, and from outside of the doctor's office, he meets Khonshu. Khonshu tells him, " That man in there is not your true father. I am. " Mind you, Marc is 12!!! 12!!!! Khonshu began manipulating Marc since he was twelve because he was, obviously really fucking young, and traumatized. Khonshus tactics were to strip Marc away from his religion and culture and make him submit to him.

So anyways, Marc was sent to Putnam Psychiatric Hospital and would stay there until he was 18 when his father funeral came along and he was let go for a week to go visit his family. This is where we learn Marc's relationship with his father was complex. Marc tells his mother, Wendy, that his father must have been happy to send him away because he was embarrassed by him. Wendy and Marc have an argument, which ends in Marc saying he's going to the bathroom, when he actually leaves to his childhood bedroom and escapes out the window when he hears Khonshus voice.

Marc later enlisted into the U.S marines Corps and served as a private for a couple years. But on Marc's second tour to Iraq, superiors started to report his odd behavior and they found out that Marc had lied about his disorder, leaving him to be discharged. Marc joined the CIA and served with his brother Randall. Randall was jealous of Marcs talents and killed Marc's girlfriend, Lisa, because she was going to expose a gun scheme. Marc then like... Threw bombs at Randall and shit and then assumed he was dead...but he wasn't.

Marc left the CIA after that and started doing illegal boxing, where he met his soon to be best friend, Jean-Paul Duchamp ( usually refered to as Frenchie ) and they became mercenaries together and started killing a bunch of people, in Marc's case, for mooonnneeyyy!!! Get that bag, girlie. And then Marc got put on trial for war crimes!! His crime being yk...assistanting the president of this south African country called Bosqueverde as one does.

And then he started to do missions under this group call the Karnak Cowboys and fell in love with one of his groupmates, Layla El-faouly, as seen in later issues of The Midnight Mission. Then she fucking died when an escape went wrong.

So anyways Marc meets this funny lil guy named Raoul Bushman ( he is not funny lil guy, he's killed hundred of people, probably) So Marc works for him with Frenchie and they, together, set to north Sudan to raid a dig site. ( This should start to sound familiar, as it was briefly touched on in the show when Arthur's guys captured Steven and put cuffs on him and slammed him in the back of their car ) Looks like raid shadow legends went down again, and things started to get not so epic when Raoul killed the lead Archeologist of the dig site, Peter Alraune in front of his daughter Marlene. This pissed the ever loving shit out of Marc because even though Marc likes violence, he doesn't enjoy violence against innocent people, and so he punches the fucker but uh oh! The Raoul Bushman Strikes Back, and he fucking KILLS MARC IN RETURN AND EVERYONE ELSE EXPECT FOR FRENCHIE AND MARLENE AND THIS ONE MF WHO TOLD HIM HE WOULD TELL HIM WHERE THE DIG SITE WAS. ( really Raoul left Marc mortally wounded, but he was on the brick of death, basically)

Marc was able to regain conscious and drag himself halfway to Khonshus tomb ( which is what Raoul was looking for ) Marlene and a bunch of other citizens find Marc and they carry him to Khonshus tomb. Marc hears Khonshus voice for yet another time, and Marc is revived and becomes the Moon Knight we all know and love. Then he basically killed Raoul's guys and then fell in love with Marlene.

So that's his origin story. Now onto the stuff I know as fact but it won't be explained in chronological order because I haven't read a ton of comics to explain it in chronological order.

He used Steven as a a way to handle money and build wealth so they could have recourses like vehicles, weapons and a ton of other random bullshit ( go!! ) that they don't need. Jake was used as a new York taxi driver so that he had his eye in the streets and knew when shit was goin down. They're both kind of horny. Jake literally spends some of his free time in a strip clubs drinking rum. ( As seen in the midnight mission and implied on in the Lemire run. )

His relationship with Marlene was long, but didn't last because, if I'm recalling correctly, Marc had a mental breakdown and decided to basically stop working for Khonshu so he could be with Marlene. But soon after he started hearing Khonshus voice again and Marlene couldn't take anymore of it, so she left him.

And then there's that bullshit with The Midnight Man. All I know is that he passed away from cancer and had a son named Jeff Wilde. Jeff aspired to Marc and wanted to be his sidekick, kind of like Robin and Batman in the Lego Batman movie with a little less adoption, but Marc kept on refusing as a way to protect Jeff. The Jeff had this whole thing where he turned evil or some shit idk and I guess Marc killed him? I'm not sure. Please, moon knight gang, let me know what happened in the reply section because I'm ignorant.

Marc had his independence from Khonshu after banishing Khonshu to Asgardian Prison ( seen in Age of Khonshu and discussed in The Midnight Mission) and decided " fuck you, I don't need need you anymore. Imma do my own thing and you can't do nothing about it " and then he became Mr. Knight. Mr. Knight is kind of a detective and he consults with policemen ( as seen in From The Dead ) Moon Knight is the one who does all the fighting.

From where Marc's development is at right now, Marc was running a thing called the Midnight Mission, which was a place where citizens would go to to report strange things happening in the city.

Additional, fun information:

Marc has a daughter named Diatrice. He only knows about it because Jake had a secret relationship with Marlene on the side after Marc and Marlene broke up.

He sleeps all day in the tomb of Khonshu and fights crime at night. He's like a bat!!

His ringtone ( as seen in the midnight mission) is The Killing Moon by Echo and The Bunnymen. ( Y'all should listen to it, if you haven't. it's really good. ).

He drives a red convertible car ( as seen in the Brain Micheal Bendis run, don't read it it's REALLY bad and insufficient. ) and also a motorcycle ( as see in Vengeance of The Moon Knight)

He was originally supposed to fight mainly just werewolf's and um... Writers at Marvel had different ideas.

His favorite drink is an ice cold vodka ( as seen in the Midnight Mission)

He had a mansion and then his money went bye bye and now he lives in a haunted house ( as seen, once again, in the Midnight Mission)

Frenchie is also gay! Hes married to a man named Rob! ( And this is only from what I've heard, by he apparently had a secret crush on Marc at some point.)

And yeah. That's all I have for ya today. Thank you if you made it this far, and I hope I was able to satisfy your curiosity a little bit!

Goodknight everyone!!!

[curio-queries]

I’m loving your production breakdown posts, they are so interesting and insightful.

I think you mentioned it maybe in the first ep breakdown but it was about expenses. I just thought it was interesting in ep4 when JK mentioned at the chicken place, paying in cash, and he solely has this conversation with Tae, not Jimin. Would there be an arrangement do you think? Or was that scene cut and he’d have asked Jimin too? I’ve noticed in comparison to Bv where they were usually only allowed a certain amount of money between them, with one usually being in control, or a sum for a task, in AYS, Jimin and JK have been whipping out their cards, be it their own or a company card, in Big Dicks store, in Walmart etc.

I just found it interesting

Hi anon,

The finance bits are interesting in the most boring corporate sense if that makes any sense. 😅 Trust me on this. Let's dive in:

In my opinion, it really boils down to two concerns: taxes and sponsorships. Taxes to insure the company receives every possible benefit for every dollar they spend. Sponsorships because some brands can have fussy rules about how individuals interact with their product and especially any competitor's products while they have an active agreement.

Obviously I have no actual insight onto how the finances and budget were managed for any of these specific shows and I know absolutely nothing of the intricacies of taxes in South Korea but in the US, there are many regulations when it comes to how companies can claim expenditures for tax breaks.

Every company that has had me travel for work has gone to a lot of trouble to insure that I was aware of exactly all of the requirements on my part regarding expenditures. I'm 100% sure all of the BTS members are aware of their requirements as well so I don't particularly think there's any motive other than as a cute convo for the moment between JK and V. Imo, the only reason it made it to the final cut was JKs endearing tone in his response.

Let's go through some examples though:

Receipts: in both AYS and Bon Voyage, we see the members be very specific in getting Receipts. JM and JK talk about it as they're leaving Walmart. In BV, it's all of the shenanigans with the money pouch they acquired in Malta and continued using in New Zealand. This is usually documentation required for any operation that's going to be claimed as a business expense for tax purposes.

Personal Spending: off the top of my head I can think of several clear instances where we know that the members are using their own money for purchases we see them make on the shows. In Run BTS ep.70 in Toronto, JK pays for the member's clothing purchases himself. In BV4, JM pays for the member's clothing himself a couple of times (remember the drama of his lost wallet? 😅)

Budget as Content: BV 1 & 2 mostly only include finances as part of the game-ification of the show. The members had to earn money as an allowance for the activities and determine the best ways to spend it. (I do vaguely remember some members wanting to negotiate for more when buying souvenirs? Was that just in the extra scenes? It's been so long, I've been holding off on rewatching until I'm done with my Run series).

Thankfully, the success of BTS has basically nixed the budget games. I think the last time we saw something like this were the Run episodes of a hotel staycation? But the prices were ficticious and not necessarily about real-world spending but rather determining the secret number to not exceed. (If I'm misremembering and there are more recent examples, please share!) Imo, it would just be too tone-deaf to continue portraying the members in that context. I know we all joke about them being broke millionaires, but there's a reason why celebrity game shows always make it clear that the money involved is for charity.

Anyway, back to AYS, the interesting bit to me is wondering about the inclusion of Taehyung from a budget standpoint. How was that reconciled? None of us can possibly know the answer, but it's interesting to think about. Some costs wouldn't have changed at all with one extra participant, like the house rental, or booking the climbing gym or yacht tour. But there were a few extra concessions, getting the extra mattress likely was more a logistics headache on short notice rather than an impact to the budget. And most Korean meals are served family-style so there honestly isn't a huge difference cost-wise. Except maybe the omakase. That I can imagine was noticeably more expensive with an added individual.

But really, the most expensive item per person would likely have been travel. Did someone say Tae was already in Jeju prior to filming? If he wasn't, did the show cover his flights like they would have JK, JM, and the crew? Or is the budget on these shows big enough that it was just another drop in a bucket? Also, the intent likely was for JK to zip around on the motorbike and JM to be on the scooter. I'm curious if they weren't logistically able to get another such vehicle with the short notice or if the budget/sponsorship constraint didn't allow for a third one the day. Or it could be that the scooter exists because of the 3 member count and production thought one of them could be JKs backpack. That bike has the space for it. But perhaps the difficulty to get coverage and/or converse wasn't appealing. Or maybe there just wasn't a third radio-enabled helmet prepared?

I know the various shippers are using this in their arguments. I'd like to firmly state that I am not building a case for either side here. Go do that on your own and leave me out of it. Lol.

There are so many questions and it's interesting to theorize how the finances could have impacted the development of the show. Maybe we'll get some more insight with the remaining episodes and bonus footage but I doubt it. Finances don't usually make for engaging content.

Thanks again for the ask! It's one of the points I want to discuss when I start doing my BV and ITS posts but who knows when that will be!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday Lovely fandom. Not a ton in these episodes for them. Gonna combine these two. Thank you for idea D ❤️ These are my least fav of the season. Not gonna lie whenever I reach the Simone eps in a rewatch I skip around her stuff LOL Never resonated with me. So it’s funny the first ep is called Simone and I won’t really be covering her much at all. Probably be a shorter one with some crumbs. Let’s get going though shall we?

4x19 Simone/4x20 Enervo

We start off with an actual bang. John and Lucy respond to a suspicious activity call. It's near a power station in Griffith Park. They find a bomb and get out just in time but not before they’re thrown to the ground by the blast. They get thrown pretty damn far and are fairly banged up. It's insane how much damage they took even clearing the building.

Tim shows up to the scene and does a worried husband look I love. Checking in on her by doing a once over once he makes it to them. Does a silent check in as he reports it’ll take 12 hours to fix the damaged power station. The silent check in is everything. Once again it’s the little things I cherish especially in low content episodes. It's subtle but noticeable once you know it's there. Trying to contain his concern with her all banged up. It’s ok love your wifey is fine hehe

I love these two shots for quite a few reasons. One you know I love the tall/smol shots. I wish I could put into words why I love it so very much. It’s just aesthetically pleasing is one of the reasons I suppose. All I know is I’m a sucker for it. Second how in-sync they are in their movements and how they mirror one another in the second one.

Third the lack of personal space. Especially in that first gif. Theme of this season I adore so much. Always that gravitational pull of theirs. Lastly look at them. They’re gorgeous just standing next to one another. Also it is unfair Lucy is covered in dirt and soot and looks amazing still. Not fair haha

Oh right there’s a SL too LOL Not me just gawking at them haha The feds show up because this is a terrorist attack. They ask Nolan and Lucy about what they remember about the bomb. Nolan of course is no help. Smh Lucy is able to describe little better for them. FBI says they’re taking over from here. Grey fights it since John and Lucy were almost killed discovering the bomb. Garza concedes and they’re able to work together on this one.

We rejoin our ship headed towards National Guard Armory. They’ve deduced this guys real target was this. Reason he shut down the power was to gain access inside there. They’re en-route to catch him. They find out he’s already on the move and they’ve gotta catch him. Which leads us to this car chase. First off let’s note Lucy getting to drive in this intense moment. It is more common these days for them. I just love seeing Tim trust her so implicitly nowadays. That this is new normal for them. *heart clutch*

Control freak in him has eased up quite a bit with her at least. Maybe not with anyone else LOL Once again it's the little things to love. The spurts of growth. They make me happy. Anyways dude stole a friggin Humvee so taking him down will not be easy. Nolan says they need to stop this guy. No shit John...What do you think the purpose of this chase is? To have fun at a high speeds in a shop for kicks?

Sometimes the words out of his mouth floor me..and not in a good way. Tim is using his military experience in this moment. (Yum) Explains why that’s not going to be easy. He’s basically encased himself in a mini tank. Their usual pit maneuver isn’t going to work on this guy. Nolan offering up another solution. I adore the silent communication and the look. That automatic instinct to check in with each other. I'll never be over it. I love watching them in the field so very much. Just a well oiled machine. Tim is considering Nolan’s suggestion then checking in with wifey before executing it. Love it.

Tim explains their plan to Nolan while Lucy listens in. Tim advices they both hit the doors. Tells them it has to be at the same time though. To avoid the wheels at all costs. Lucy needing to know the why of course. Asks why they can’t hit the tires? Tim explains they’ll die and be a cautionary tale for future rookies LOL Gotta love Lucy questioning why they can't in the middle of a high speed chase. I'm sure she wasn't expecting that to be his answer ha.

Her comment about her mom cracks me up. Anything to prove to her mother she’s wrong and she is right about being a cop. Her first thought not being she’ll die. No it’ll be about her mother being right about her career choice. Lmao Oh Lucy Chen I love you. Also I relate to this train of thought all too well sadly. I do love her saying they’ll be disgraced together. Be more married please.

Tim doesn’t even fight her on this thought. Lucy basically saying if I’m going down you’re coming with. Tim isn’t fighting her at all. His silence is saying lead the way. They’re in this together and I love that so very much. Being a literal ride or die right now in this moment.

I love me some crumbs in a low content ep. Also only they could banter during a high pressure situation and still get the job done. I love them so much. They are successful but find out the driver isn’t their guy but a decoy. Wah Wah.

They regroup at the station after their chase. Nolan asking Lucy if she got any sleep? She then calls out Tim for getting some. Not only does she call him out but nicknames him 'Sleeping beauty.' Looking directly at him the entire time. Making sure he know she is talking about him and only him. All aboard the flirt train Nolan is an unwilling participant in the matter haha

Such blatant flirty flirts. Tim fires back a sassy reply to her jab. Just openly flirting and doing heart eyes out in the open. Ain’t no thang this season lol Shoots back not to be jealous he was allowed to sleep and she hasn’t. Lucy’s reaction is the best. That fond exasperation they’ve had all season long. So used to her husband antics at this point but has to let him know she’s annoyed at him. Damnit I love them sfm.

They end up finding his base of operations. Lucy of course breaking the case. Cause she’s brilliant finds a word he’s written down by doing an etching off a wall he used. ‘Enervo’ Garza telling them it means 'To deprive of power.' John asks Tim what the military’s first target is? I love watching Tim flex his military background again. It’s sexy af. Seriously gets me hot and bothered *fans self* Tim and Lucy cracking this case right open. You’re welcome everyone haha That’s it for this one. Low content one since it was meant to launch rookie feds. Next one has even less so this is why we’re combining them.

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

I do love when Nyla and Angela work together. Two bad ass woman just doing their jobs like confident BAMFS.

4x20 Enervo.

We find out he’s rented U-Haul’s and it’s going to take out the biggest roads with them. Crippling the city and killing thousands. They can't get a warrant right away to track them so everyone is in on the hunt. As always I love watching them in action in the field. That second gif their cop eyes have been activated. You can see them combing the street together. They’re so in-sync as they search the streets for one of the five U-Haul’s. I could go on and on about how much I love their work dynamic I really could. But I'll stop there ha

The trucks are divided up into states. Cause well that’s U-haul haha if you’ve ever driven one you’d know. Always got graphics or other states on them. One has already exploded unfortunately so they're down to 4 trucks that need to be found. Lucy and Tim spot ‘Florida’ and are in pursuit of it. I love how calm they look. They’re chasing down a bomb and look determined af. Like I said before well oiled machine. The gifs above represent that. They are poetry in motion in the field. What made 5x22 battle scene so epic. Was that on steroids ha

That’s kinda it for them in this one. I can add this last lovely gif of them in the field. Seeing how they move in motion together. It is impressive to see how in-sync they always are. Shared brain thing I love so much. I’m sorry there isn’t more. I mean it’s not my fault but I’m still sorry LOL

We shouldn’t hit this again. Even the light one in S5 is really good and would fill a review well so this will be the last scant ep for them. Probably won’t combine them again ha

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Smitty reporting in he got ‘Utah’ Grey being ecstatic and saying he took back every negative thing ever said about him. Poor Smitty is all sad ‘You’ve said negative things about me?’ LMAO

Thank you as always for those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You’re all amazing and I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. Shall see you all in 4x21 :)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - We In A Slump, but help might be coming from a very strange source

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - I don’t have a lot to say except that the plot is somewhat predictable but the show is still very engaging. War is fantastic. I’m enjoying it a hell of a lot.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 10 of 12 - The second leads are getting better in this one. I understand where they are coming from, which makes their conflict so much more understandably painful, and honest to a friends2lovers trope. The main couple is kinda standard college relationship drama, but they are cuties.  

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - How is Ohm so damn gorgeous? Meanwhile, babies’ first argument. And it’s sponge bath time. Q has got to be wondering if Min is as meticulous with all kinds of care and attention to detail all......the......time. Somebody here in the hellhole said something about this being "the most BL to ever BL." And I think they’re right. At least right now. Although, watch out, we got us a new contender from the east.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - I do love the continuation of the perversion, in a good way, of the punishment trope from last week's episode. Oh, has the show finally remembered its title? NO SINGING. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 7 of 10 - More kidnapping and an attack and now there’s a girl involved and somebody’s going to China and I don’t understand anything! And I don’t really care. Is this how the actual book originally went? Because it’s wild. Also TOO MANY of flashbacks. I guess they got a bit of a boyfriend era, and the claiming during the water fight was cute, but otherwise...... meh

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 15 - One shouldn’t make comparisons, of course, but all I can think about is how amazing Captain was as Noh in the original series. Thus this show is mostly just making me want to rewatch the original. It’d be an interesting twist to have Aim be queer instead of a damaged cool girl slut. Was the helmet hand letting go a foreshadow of the iconic bookstore hands letting go? Also, I gotta say for the second episode of a series there are already too many flashbacks. Why are they using filler when they have so much content crammed into so few (comparable) episodes for a series? It’s annoying. Stop it.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - This show has some interesting, if heavy handed, things to say about shipping and trolling, but also predatory/proprietary female behavior. It’s fascinating to see it tackled head on, if handled in a profoundly clumsy manner. I’m not sure how I feel about it. That said, most of this episode was actually an advertisement for a resort in Phuket. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I'm getting What's Wrong with Secretary Kim? vibes from this show. Only this is WAY more bullying. It’s very old-fashioned 90’s billionaire romance novel only gay. It’s never a good sign when I’m watching two boys kiss and I really want one of them to just bite the other ones lip off instead.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - No ep this week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 8 of 10 - Gosh it’s so frikin adorable. Baby got sick. He has SUCH A CRUSH. And such a courageous little confession! Yay! Can’t wait for next week. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ep 1 - sure, yes this is, in fact, just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again. And yet...... There is a REASON this leapt into the standings guns blazing. So it’s high school set but it's stepbrothers trope. (My, aren’t we popular this year?) I know, but I NEVER get tired of this trope. We got us Bach (BV's sullen tsundere) and Dat (babygirl meets bully). It’s GREAT how the brothers' dynamic is entirely different at school than when they're at home. My ear isn’t trained for Vietnamese, but I think Dat is using different pronouns depending on his location (his personality entirely shifts when he’s at school). I’m not sold on the Bach character, although I always trust BV to serve in the end (at least we know the kisses will be good), but Dat is utterly in love, a touch spicy, and reasonably complex. The surrounding cast is good too, my favorite pretty boy is there playing top dog (woof), and one of the besties is out gay (YAY!). The plot of the show is...... well...... absent. Nothing happened. But if we are aiming for Love Sick slice of life style BL, I'm game. Subs are appropriately terrible and confusing. But I like it A FUCK TON so far, so I’m gonna keep it in rotation. Nice to have Vietnam back in play. What a shocker.

2024 has been a year of upsets.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 3 of 10 eps - I weirdly enjoyed the farcical music and the utter absurdity of the court case. I also liked how it highlighted what a good team these two are. Frankly I don’t mind a bit of an antihero sleazy lawyer + conman, it's engaging. I’m getting wholesome out of Thailand. I don’t really need it from Japan at the moment. Also I don’t believe for one second our conman actually is serious about the relationship. Conmen gonna con. I'm reminded of the scorpion and the frog fable.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - I love Orca so much. I do not love the autotuned version of Orca, but I knew what I was in for with this particular show, it's in the title after all. I did laugh a whole lot when Laing used kha. Hon, I don't think that word means what you think it means......

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 11-12fin - I never thought I’d say this, but the pacing was off in the penultimate episode. Taiwan, and its chronic misuse of flashbacks strikes again. That said we eventually got a "lock in" trope and Wang being the biggest little flirt shit in the cafe OMG!!! Of course, you shouldn’t use a girl to torment your bf, but it was so well done, I can’t really complain. Meanwhile, teacher kisses. And now I understand exactly why they’re present in this narrative. Clever. Bummer of a burden on that ending though. I cannot see how they’ll manage to stick this landing. [That was ep 11]

AND NOW EP 12 - doomey doomey doom

Not the water bottle trope! Argh the teenage lust of it all. Just stop it. Wang is so smart he knows exactly how bad he has to be to leave the class. And his bf certainly knows that too. And......

......

So that was not an ending and I’m not happy about it and no one is surprised. Even I’m not surprised. I’m just disappointed. Even tho I suspected this was where we were headed I'm disappointed. That’s it. That’s all I got. How do I review something that was such a crushing let down?

Conclusion:

Based on a Mou Mou novel + the Your Name Engraved Herein team, this is old-school coming of age BL and it was bloody fantastic. Tsundere seme to beat all tsundere (smartest + tallest + bestest at everything but people) meets socially-ept cutie smart-ass uke. They're living together by end of ep 1 and start kissing by end of ep 2. A stellar tense slow burn stepbrothers trope that ate my life and than just belly-flopped the finale. What I'm left with is epic levels of disappointment and well...... at least nobody died? My standard "fatally flawed" rating for any BL is 4/10 so I guess that’s what I’m giving it. 

Before you ask me for the stats: Taiwan does not have a history of second seasons. I went ahead and ran the numbers and the odds are certainly not in our favor. I put the chances at 2%.

Yes, I contemplated a revenge rating of 2/10 but even I'm not that mean.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

In Case You Missed It

Falling For My Boss is vertical format (nash) short from Korean BL about a happy-go-unlucky man who keeps losing his flower shop business because of romantically misbehaving employees (apparently it's a thing). When his best employee brings in a new boy he's worried she's falling for him, but it turns out it's his own heart on the line. He a clueless softy and The Boy is a lost broken sweetheart, making this a gentle little snippet of a show. There's a baby linguistic negotiation, some hung slinging, awkward handholds, and everyone is very pretty. For me the absence of kisses and the vertical format were more annoying than the length, which felt fine but many viewers will find too short. I enjoyed the 30 minutes of cute. All of which makes this a solid 7/10 from me. It was originally only available on this one ap in very short form with ads so I wasn't gonna bother. Then some kind soul cut it together without ads and stuck it up for download. Say thank you.

Oddball recommendation next: This podcast episode touches on some stuff we see in Thai BL so I think it's worth listening to. Journalist Dominic Faulder on the Complex History Between Thailand & Myanmar

Happy of the End (Japan Gaga) - Completed its run. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all and DNFed. Gossip round the hellhole is that was a solid decision.

Marriage Equality Law has officially been enacted in Thailand...

Yes the actual law. Goes into effect Jan 22, 2025

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Oct 2024:

10/3 Fourever You (Thai iQIYI?) 16 eps - New directs Earth (UWMA, 12%) + Pond (Century of Love, 180 Degrees), Bas (Gen Y, 2 Moons) + Maxky (Why You… Y Me?) and other familiar faces like Bever. Sampler pack university BL from Wabi Sabi that looks like it's trying to be a gay Boys Over Flowers (4 older med students hot boys) and I'm not mad about it. Trailer Not sure who's distributing this but my guess is iQIYI since they had the last few from this house.

10/7 Every You Every Me (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.)

10/10 Eccentric Romance (Korea ????) 12 eps - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab, that has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world. I'm worried but I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER.

10/10 Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea ????) 8 eps? - Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Adaptation of Booker-nominated famous coming of age novel of the same title by Park Sang-Young. Cynical yet fun loving student writer Young pinballs from home, to class, to Tinder matches. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju. As time passes Jaehee settles down and leaves Young to face his problems on his own. Young finding comfort in the arms of the series of men, including one whose handsomeness is matched by his coldness and another who might be the great love of his life. Not really BL. Stars Kim Go-eun (The King: Eternal Monarch), Noh Sang-hyun, and Nam Yoon Su (The King’s Affection). This already released as a movie and isn't very well regarded, this date is supposedly an international release as a series. I'm wary of it being BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I got nothing, The On1y One drove me into a funk.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[waitmyturtles]

Dead Friend Forever: I managed to catch up in time to watch the finale, and here are my immediate, uneducated, "holy shit" thoughts

First off: I acknowledge I am an utter interloper on this tag, having written exactly zero meta words about this mostly great show. Second: everything I know about slashers comes from my childhood memories of "Scream," and my recent conversations with the lovelies @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm. So I'm not an expert here. Thirdly! I was inspired in part by them to watch this, and also by the friendies who jumped into comments on my recent KinnPorsche liveblog watches for my Old GMMTV Challenge project. I've been waiting these past few weeks to finish Dead Friend Forever before putting pen to paper on my KP rewatch thoughts, because I thought Be On Cloud did something fabulously experimental with DFF as its second major serial drama.

Anyway: all of this is to say that now that DFF is over, in the near future, I'm gonna write a bunch on KP and a bit more on DFF -- but I want to offer just some quick wandering thoughts on DFF now.

I think like many of y'all, I found the tone of the last PheeJin moments to be discordant with the tenor of the rest of the finale episode. The way I'm calculating this, as I'm sure many of you are, is that I think there was a commentary on fate and Buddhist purgatory, particularly with New/Tan being able to hear from a thankful Non one more time before New's passing. New suffers, it seems to me, the least painful death, and I think that was in part Non’s doing.

In order to conclude the tone on PheeJin, I do wish that we would have seen a flashback back to PheeJin at the house. I guess we’d assume that Phee and Jin never regained their consciousness, that the antidote didn’t work, and that their cyclical fate would be returning back to the lakeshore, only to be haunted by Non again. While it seems to me that Tee, in whatever realm of fate they ended up in, got his appropriate ending — I don’t think that the PheeJin cyclical ending at the lakeshore assigned enough “blame” of fate to either of them, especially Jin. I know @lurkingshan notes that that’s a nod to the need to appease any hopes of surviving ships, and I agree with that assessment. But also — god, BLEH, they sucked, we were left with PheeJin?! JIN??? My boy White, my bubbala, he’s the good one that got really in-your-face off-ed? Wah. (But I do see and understand why White needed to die, to make Tee’s residual fate the utter living hell he deserves.)

Like I said: on a more macro note, I’m gonna have thoughts about DFF, Be On Cloud, and KP in the coming days, because I just like that BOC is dabbling with some experimental writing while allowing solid acting to really shine. (And I compare that to what’s happening at Idol Factory and the recent writing miss that was The Sign.) I wish the ending wasn’t as milquetoast as it was, but BOC still traffics in BLs, and I guess they felt they needed to throw the fans some kind of BL bone (huh huh).

But overall? I am REALLY GLAD I watched this, and it absolutely belongs on the OGMMTVC syllabus. This was incredibly new for the Thai BL genre, and I gotta give BOC — AND ESPECIALLY BARCODE AND TA, WOW — their flowers for taking Thai BL into this new direction. For the most part of this run, I had a great time with this show, as brutal as the content was.

[ripplestitchskein]

A quick Social Blade peek will show that not only has Vivzie’s channel been very consistent the last three years month over month for both subscribers and views, it is even trending upwards at at steeper slope from Summer 22 upwards. Wonder what happened in Summer of 22 👀👀👀. (Pssst the circus was released July 30 22). Month over month and year over year metrics are always more indicative than week to week where there are steep increases and declines depending on a lot of external factors. A large drop is less likely to be audience dissatisfaction and more a major political event or mass outage that took viewers away from their screens. Looking at longer timelines for trending smooths out these external factors.

It’s easy to see 45m, 30m on S1 episodes and think “oh the older videos got more views more people must have been watching and less are watching now” but at their release they got about the same and increases steadily over time with repeat viewings adding up. Remember YouTube doesn’t count views for unique user accounts or IP addresses in the view totals, any intentional view lasting over 30 seconds counts.

YouTube views are in no way comparable to Nielsen ratings.

Like, think about a 10 million video. Now think about how many times you individually have watched episodes. I think I’m on 20 views of Apology Tour alone. No idea how many hundred Look My Ways or the first and last few minutes of Full Moon. I’ve watched the other episodes ar least 5 times a piece and probably closer to ten. I’m autistic so I do tend to watch the same shows over and over (I think I watched OUAT all the way through up to S6 30+ times) so I am not a typical user but I know most people do watch them more than once. But even without that anecdotal evidence you can clearly see a trend with the videos views versus their age. Each year each video gets about 10-14 mil. Some of this is probably people rewatching when the new seasons come out. Because of the length of time between episodes VivziePop probably gets more rewatches than some other shows that come out quicker, as each time a new episode comes out subscribers watch the previous few or the entire previous season to catch up. This adds up over a period of years, so that earlier episodes from 3 years ago have approx 3-4 times more views than the current ones and this is consistent, episodes from 2 years are 20-30, 1 year see 15-20.

Dimension 20’s Fantasy High for example has 6.6 million views on its first episode and 238k on episode 20, however if you scroll through the channel you see that all similarly aged videos scale accordingly. There is of course audience drop off, people who watched earlier and lost interest or decided it wasn’t for them but this kind of content reaches an equilibrium barring some kind of outside drama or viral situation.

To try to use this really common phenomenon with how serial content on YouTube works as proof of a decline or audience response is not only incorrect on its face but super deceptive.

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small writing blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I just faced the facts:

A Sandman Blog it is!

I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman S2 News, Casting and Speculation]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[Sandman Movie Concept Art by Jill Thompson & John Watkiss]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis: My literary/conceptual/psychological analyses. I have also written some musical and art metas. You will find further links via all three.

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join.

Sandman Fics & Poems: My own work, mostly m/f and f/f canon pairings and OCs, both long fics and shorter works.

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one.

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts, from fan-art to gif-sets. Separate tag for official Sandman artists. Plus the very few pieces of my own art I’ve ever posted on here).

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out.

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.