#because the woman is totally meant to look like loki for a reason
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loki-is-my-kink-awakening · 2 months ago
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Seven Sentence Sunday
Snippet from the @lokiusbang fic I am working on.
There was a blue and green jet ski at the end of the pier, bobbing gently on the waves. Mobius felt his nerves build, the knot in his stomach tightening. With each step forward, he was sure he was going to make a fool of himself and he questioned why he had agreed to this. He could have left her standing there waiting on someone who would never show, but he knew he wouldn’t have done that, and not just because she looked like Loki. Everything about this felt like a dream, except for the way the sun felt hot against his skin, beating down from above and casting short shadows underneath them. The sea salt hung in the air, the spray misting and coating his lips, making them feel dry. He took a swig from his bottle, quenching his thirst a little. 
Tags below the cut
Tagged by the lovely @elodiah @lokimobius @thosegayoldmen 💕💕💕
Passing the tag onto fellow writers and artists @artaxlivs @underthebluerain @cha-melodius @kcscribbler @insert-witty-user-name-here
@natendo-art @wolfpup026 @iwillbringyouruin @spacemonolith @in-my-loki-feels
@mobiusismycomfortcharacter @mirilyawrites @distracteddream @devilbearingtrouble
@boredintjqueen @starport-seven-five @dewdropreader @lgwilt @dreamycloud
Also tagging the artist I'm working with for this piece, but you’ll have to go in a separate line because Tumblr is being mean
@ghoulehhh
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writingwife-83 · 1 year ago
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks for the tag @bg-sparrow this looks like fun! ☺️
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
260 (and rapidly going up, because there’s a bunch more one shots that are currently still in a multi-chapter and I’m working on posting them individually)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,528,192 😵‍💫
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly BBC Sherlock and Star Wars. But I’ve also written a fic for The Hunger Games, Loki show, Grantchester, Miss Scarlet and the Duke, and Wonder Woman.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
(I’m not gonna include the fic that technically comes in 4th place because that’s the multi-chapter of one shots which will eventually be deleted completely from AO3 once all the one shots have their own post)
I Told You So (sherlolly)
Alliance (reylo)
Half Agony, Half Hope (sherlolly)
Zephyr (sherlolly)
For Science (sherlolly)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Absolutely! There was only one time in my life that I said I couldn’t routinely do that, and that was at the height of popularity for I Told You So. I was posting it on AO3 and ffnet, and also posting the links on here, and I was getting feedback on all three platforms. Which was amazing! But it meant it was a bit much to keep up with. Other than that, I feel commenters deserve a response since they’re giving us writers the thing we want most. ❤️
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
For reylo probably I’m Ready to be Heartbroken and for sherlolly I think it’s a tie between You’re Dying and Congratulations, By The Way.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I truly couldn’t say because I’ve written sooo many with happy endings that Idk what would be happiest 😆
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I’ve gotten the very occasional slightly rude comment over the years, but not what I’d consider hate.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I never have and I don’t plan to. It’s just not something I want to do. And besides I think there’s always more than enough of that for those who want it. If anything, what tends to be lacking is a large selection of fics without that type of content.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Only think I’ve ever done is a Star Wars AU one shot for sherlolly called Balance.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of, and I don’t know if I’d even want to know because that would be such a huge amount of stress and I’d probably be very limited in what I could do about it.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I’m honored to say that I have! There might be one for I Told You So on ffnet… I can’t remember. But definitely on AO3 there’s a Russian translation of Zephyr and a Chinese translation of For Science
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, indeed! I’ve co-written two fics with @thisisartbylexie. Alliance for reylo, and Half Agony, Half Hope for sherlolly. Coincidence that those are also in my top 5 kudos? I think not.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
That’s super hard but if for no other reason than the duration of my creating, I guess I’d have to say sherlolly.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I don’t think I have an answer for this because the 2 WIP I have at the moment are ones I am definitely in the process of finishing.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think dialogue and internal descriptions for the character. And I guess describing things in a way that help the reader easily hear/see the scene in their mind, since that’s a comment I’ve gotten many times over the years.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action and mystery. Ironic, given my fandoms lol. I am always so uncomfortable describing action scenes or situations where there’s a lot going on and it’s fast paced. And I absolutely would struggle if I had to come up with a mystery plot line!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
What an interesting question! I’m trying to think if I’ve ever even done this in a fic. 🤔 But I think it’s a great thing to include if the plot calls for it! If I did I’d ideally want to check with someone who is fluent in that language just to make sure I’m not being inaccurate.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
BBC Sherlock (for sherlolly) going on 10 years ago ��
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I genuinely don’t think I can choose. Sometimes I try to when I get this question, but it really is a toss up between a few fics. There’s not one particular one that stands out from the others so much that I’d call it my favorite. But some of my faves are definitely in that list of my top kudos fics that I listed in question 4.
I’ll tag @musicprincess1990 @englandsgray @love-yellow-door @strawberrypatty and whoever else sees this post and feels like participating!
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wolfish-trickster · 4 years ago
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Liar
Part 3
Loki x female!reader
Word count: 1,7K
Warnings: angst, typos, everything sad besides doggo
Tag list:@gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @belovedadam @mascaracoffee @serebrum @myworldgoesboomz
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Loki felt miserable. If only he knew what would he start with that lie. Why couldn't he tell her Y/N is his cousin or something? She and her golden-fish-like IQ would've believed him. Damn him! Damn him and Tony for making him do this! Why couldn't Stark do it himself! It was his idea afterall!
Loki was lying on a rug in his bedroom. He didn't feel like he deserved the luxury of a warm soft bed. He was looking through photos and selfies of Y/N in his phone. Her happy smile, her arms wrapped around him in a hug in his favourite selfie of you (his wallpaper), her two fingers giving him horns from behind his back and him doing it back to her. He counted, he had only 7 pictures of her in total. 'I should've taken pictures of her more often,' he thought to himself and wiped his eyes to get clearer view. He should've took a picture of her doing the most mundane things. Reading a book, drawing on a windowsill, chatting with someone. She always had this spark in her eyes whenever she talked about some of her interests. He wanted to see that spark again.
Loki caught himself dreaming of you again. 'Let her go,' he told himself. 'It will be better for her and you.'
But he didn't want to get better. Not without her. But he fucked up big time. He apologized. He showed her a proof of his innocense. She chose to put space between you two. And that was okay, right? He's already used to it, right?
His eyes were staring outside the window the whole night, but he wasn't watching anything. He needed them open, for whenever he closed them he saw you. Either crying and screaming like you did few day ago, or sad smile you gave him few hours ago, or your happy grin you have worn what seemed like ages ago.
Sky changed its shades of blue from dark to light. The morning sun made him realize that no, he isn't used to it.
*
The need to walk to your room was big. But he couldn't. He promised to leave you alone if you wanted. And you did.
So instead he hid in one of the old rooms everyone forgot about and never really used. He needed to be alone.
No one came looking for him yet. The only sign of someone remembering his existence was one message from Tony. Something about the info Loki got from that woman being useless and agents are taking the lead from the Avengers. Good to know he unknowingly destroyed his whole relationship with Y/N for nothing.
When he read those words the first time he wanted to smash the phone on nearest wall, but that meant losing all the pictures with you and he simply couldn't do that.
Loki wandered where where you. If you were safe. Maybe you took your dog out. Or made someone do it, so you didn't have to risk meeting him in the halls. Thought of you still avoiding him sickened him.
His lower back started to ache from sitting in pragraph position for too long. He decided to stretch and walk a little, clear his head. The plan was to go to kitchen, steal something small to eat (not because he was hungry, he needed a distraction) and go back to his secret room. Or the roof. What will came first.
With a glass of water and pockets filled with chocolate he started walking towards the exit.
Suddenly he heard small clawed paws hitting the floor making soft clicking noises. He followed the distand sound to find your little pup, Rex, walking around as if he owned the place. If he was here then you'll be nearby. Loki looked around the room, but besides the small dog and him it was empty.
When the little guy got his sent into his nose, he turned and sprinted towards Loki. He expected the pup to bite him, just like you promise you will train him, and mentally prepared himself for attack of small dull needles on his ankles.
To his surprise Rex started jumping on his leg, trying to reach his hand. When Loki lowered it to his level he started to lick it, his tail wagging wildly. Good to know at least he doesn't hate him.
"Did you escape her and went on an adventure, little guy?" he asked scratching behind his ears. Rex rolled on his belly and silently asked for scratches. Loki was more than happy to provide.
"Well, we can't leave it like that now, can we? She'll be worried sick if she doesn't find you in her room. Like this one time when she couldn't find her favourite plushie from childhood. We turned her whole room upside down just to find it. Later that day she realized she accidentally left it in my bedroom," he smiled sadly at the fond memory. "We laughed a lot afterwards. I fear she'll never laugh in my presence again," he stopped scratching.
Rex sat up and tilted his head at him.
"I know, I know, it's basically my fault. And I understand why she feels like that. Who wouldn't after their best... ex best friend said those things about them. I just wish I could turn back time and change everything."
"And why would you do that?" loki turned around to be met with face of none other than Tony Stark.
"You would never understand," he looked away.
"I'm capable of undertanding a lot of things, don't underestimate me."
Rex found new sent in the room and ran up to Tony. "Aaaw, is he yours? I never thought you'll be a dog person," Tony picked him up and got a good look on him, while Rex was trying to reach his face with his tongue.
"No, he's Y/N's. He must've escaped from her bedroom. Please, take him to her," he started walking away.
"No way, your friend, your problem. I'm already a very busy man even without pets," he put Rex on the floor and gently nudged him towards Loki.
"Here's the thing, I can't. I can't face her. And I am more than sure she doesn't want to face me."
"What happened? Don't tell me it's some petty reason like 'you picked the wrong movie' or 'those flowers don't go with ma vase'."
Loki rolled his eyes and took Rex to his hands. "No. She heard me telling lies to that woman we needed for those informations and now she doesn't trust me. I doubt she ever will."
"Just tell her how it was. How hard can that be?"
"Don't you think I already thought of that? I showed her the video from security cameras yesterday and she still doesn't want to go back to being my friend. And I understand why," he stared deeply into Rex's puppy eyes. As if the little dog felt his sadnes he tried to cuddle up to his chest.
"Then pray tell, cuz I could never understand women's logic."
Loki played with Rex's soft fur. "She knows I'm a great liar. She might think if that was a lie and she couldn't tell, then might be wondering how much of other things I told her were lies," Rex started chewing on Loki's thumb. "The truth is I never told her a single lie. Only that one time when she asked me if I'm smiling because I saw Thor fall down the stairs," he chuckled.
"Then tell her you never lied to her," Tony suggested.
"I can't. She won't believe me. Didn't you hear what I just said?"
"I did. But listen, life is complicated enough already, why making it more miserable by not talking each other's issues out? Just go to her, return her dog and ask to talk to her."
"What if she slams the door in my face just like the last time? Then what genious?"
Tony shrugged. "I don't know. Write her a letter and slide it down her door?"
Loki rolled eyes and started walking in the direction of your bedroom. "Your advices suck," he called behind his back.
Here he was. Standing in front of your door, which was slightly ajar. Explaining how Rex got out. Behind those doors he laughed with you, played games with you, watched movies while cuddling with you. So many pleasant memories. Scarred by the freshest one.
He remembered the fear and panic he felt when you started shouting at him. He remembered every last word you told him. Those kinds of words only left your mouth in his worst nightmares. He never thought he'll hear them in real life.
Tiny bites along his wrist brought him back to present. He didn't know what to do. Should he stand there and wait until you come out? Or should he knock? Call out for you?
His questions got answered sooner than he thought. "What are you doing here?" he heard her voice coming from the opposite end of the hallway.
He quickly looked down at Rex in his arms, the opened doorand realized how it must look to you. "I'm not stealing him, I swear. I found him wandering around the Tower," he held him out to you.
You took him, your fingers brushed his for a moment. You coughed. "Ehm, thank you. For bringing him back, I mean."
"No problem," he stood there awkwardly, hamd behind his back.
He figured you didn't want to say anything more and he took a step to walk around you.
"Hey," you called out.
"Yes?" he asked hopefully, waiting for your next words.
"I...... uhm," you bit your lip nervously.
He saw her wilingness to talk as his chance. "Can I speak with you? About all of what happened? Please?"
You looked up at him, a small relief in your eyes. "Actually, that's what I wanted to ask you."
"Oh, okay," he felt like an awkward teen rather than over century old man.
Both of you stood in the hallway. Until you broke the silence. "Well, do you want to come in?" you pointed at your door.
"Yeah, okay. Why not? Your bedroom is nice for talking," Loki mentally slaped himself across the face for saying such stupidity.
"Yes. I suppose it is," you gave him a small smile and closed the door behind the two of you.
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dilfbane · 3 years ago
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Your Weeping(Your Need For His Touch)
Summary: When things go south on a mission, you have to confront more than just the sketchy town, cartoon villains, and one-bed hotel room you’re forced to share with Loki. You have to come to terms with not only the consequences of being captured, but also the God of Mischief’s feelings for you - Because for all that he might be an asshole, sometimes, he really does have a heart. Written for the Picture Is Worth A 1,000 Words 6k Follower Writing Challenge by @startrekkingaroundasgard 
Pairing: Loki/(Female)Reader
Warnings: Descriptions of injuries and medical treatment, as well as discussions of the inevitable mindset around sacrificing oneself for the mission that I feel like being part of the Avengers would entail. Also swearing, because at its core, this story started out as a bit of a crack! fic. 
Word Count: 7.8k. 
A/N: So apparently when I have mental breakdowns they result in me writing crack-fic that takes a 180 veer into angst and fluff for absolutely no reason. For the sake of the crack-fic, in this timeline Loki was forced to help the Avengers take down bad guys directly after the end of the first Avengers movie, so… Is that a confusing plot hole I didn’t know how to account for except by making this AU? Maybe. Did I do it anyway?…. Yeah. This really was meant to be a crack-fic about Loki and the reader confessing their feelings set in the bizarre world of meme culture, I didn’t realize there were going to be feels in it until it was three in the morning and all of a sudden this happened. That being said, your girl went there, so enjoy! 
“Oh, shit,” You say, as you take in the grimy hotel room. The walls all smeared in what looks like dried blood, the putrid smell of rotten eggs, a crack-screened television with a fine dusting of some suspiciously white powder. And, of course, “There’s one bed.” 
“Hmm?” Asks Loki, turning towards you, briefly, from unpacking. He had dumped his suitcase(Magically plucked out of a chaotic liminal space) unceremoniously on the bed’s scratching, pilling coverlet without so much as a second glance at the rest of the room. And why do you need a suitcase, anyways?? You wonder. It isn’t like we’re planning to be here that long. In fact, you hoped with every fiber of your being that you’d be here for as little time as possible, because this town might actually be the sketchiest place you’ve ever seen in your life; no small feat, for a bona-fide member of S.H.I.E.L.D. 
You’ve kicked alien ass on a mutated purple Mongolian death-worm three thousand feet over New York City. You’ve run reconnaissance to rescue debatably-magical items sequestered away in an ancient cave labyrinth plastered in paintings and untranslatable runes, gunfire and what could only be described as the baying of hellhounds in the near distance. You’ve fist-fought a gigantic hive-mind robot in a field of artificially sentient feral steel suits - You’ve even survived Tony’s parties. 
Yet none of those scenarios hold a candle to this fucking town. 
And Loki, the asshat, seems utterly, competently - no, maniacally - unfazed. 
“There’s one bed,” You repeat, into the air. 
“Ah,” Says Loki, straightening. 
“You don’t see that problem with that?!” 
“Should I?” He asks you, walking across the room in long, graceful strides to stand in front of you. He wears the same expression he always wears, amused and indifferent, but this time with the addition of a single, elegantly-arched eyebrow. You drop your head, refusing to meet his somewhat-curious gaze. It physically hurts, how attractive Loki is. Not for the first time, you curse whatever god decided that you and him would once again be mission partners - in this case, you belatedly realize, and choke back a thick laugh, said god is, unsurprisingly, Thor. 
If you survive this, you make a note to beat his head in with Mjolnir. As it is, you are here in this room with Loki, with perhaps twenty IPP agents and a reckless poisoner dogging your every move, and there’s a high chance that you won’t live long enough to navigate whatever the hell sleeping with your crush-who-has-murdered-men. Ok, so ‘murdered men’ isn’t entirely accurate. More like ‘caused the murder of men inadvertently through his schemes’. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, right now. 
And what about Loki? He is still staring you down, like you’re some wind up toy moments away from going off. Funny, that, you think. If ever there were a time to not have a mental breakdown, it would be here, with him. You’ve crossed a lot of moral lines in your life, but you will be damned if you let Loki Laufeysson see you cry. Loki is graceful. Composed. Sarcastic. Lithe. Rolls his eyes at almost every statement that comes out of somebody’s mouth. But he is, also, beautiful. Shockingly comforting, in his own nihilistic way. You don’t know what it says about you that you find comfort in statements like, Try not to die, you know that I hate funerals. Part of you - most of you - doesn’t want to. But it gives you strength, somehow, to shrug off the day and ground your flailing mind in evading Loki’s calculated manipulation. I won’t show you my weakness, you think to yourself. It’s not enough, but it’s a start. 
“No,” You tell him - too quickly, he’ll pick up on that - “You’re right, you shouldn’t. It’s fine. We have - a lot to deal with, is all.” 
Loki nods, seemingly accepting your answer, but his eyes are still narrowed, watching you like he’s calling your bluff. You talk right past that look - have to, to keep yourself sane, to not think about the one bed that looms large over this entire conversation. It doesn’t even look like a comfortable bed. 
“We have two days,” You say, to stop yourself thinking of it. And, also, to talk your way through your disarmingly disjointed thoughts. Loki nods. It would really help if you said something, you think. Swallow the thought, hot and thick, down your throat. What’s the point of a mission partner if you can’t even soundboard off them? “The Pink Cobra could strike anyone, anytime. The IPP is planning something in New York - “ 
“Isn’t everyone, these days, planning something in New York?” 
He sounds regretful, and for half a second you want to offer him the reassurance that his very presence offers you. But you are sure he doesn’t know what he does to you - with his words, with the sidelong glances that you’ve felt linger on your form far too long in the heat of a fight. If you didn’t know any better, you would say Loki worries about you. 
“We have to shut him down,” You say. Focus on the Pink Cobra, because honestly, that’s easier. “Find out where he manufactures. Not get poisoned,” You add, at the end. 
“Yes,” Loki says, tone dripping with sarcasm, “We should certainly try not to get ourselves killed. Failing that, I suppose, we can at least request that no one in H.Y.D.R.A gets autopsy access.” 
“Loki?” You ask. Rhetorically. “You’re not helping.” 
He smirks at you, then. He knows. 
“What do you propose that we do then?” He asks, taking a step towards you, getting so close that you can feel his hot breath. “About the Pink Cobra?” 
“Find him.” You say, fumbling, blush rising high on your cheeks. 
Tonight? 
One bed? 
You are screwed. 
                                                             ***
When you were a kid - think really little, Capri Sun pouches and still believing that true love wasn’t complicated - your father told you that every story needed a good supervillain. You aren’t sure if the Pink Cobra counts as a good supervillain, but he’s the least confusing one that you have to deal with - and, as far as villains go, a fine enough challenge to face. He’s like a madman out of some high fantasy novel, with dark eyes and a sable-sewn cloak and a penchant for poisoning. He is adept in all the arts of the woman’s murder; he has a keen grasp on the side-effects of arsenic and camphor and tansy and cyanide and strychnine. He’s been found to have dropped crystal phials filled with belladonna and ricin while fleeing a scene. If all else fails, he’s more than practiced with daggers. 
In other words, he’s the kind of villain that none of you, with your flying suits and telekinesis and super-strength, are anywhere near prepared to waylay. 
The plan, as far as team Avengers is concerned, is easy: 
You and Loki. This town, where the webs of his manufacturing production and the few glimpses of information that Thor has totally legally excavated out of his captured minions has led to. Two days until some undefined grand attack bears down on the city you live in. Two days to find the Pink Cobra and kill him. The more time passes with no headway, the more you think that this is an impossible task, but you know what Tony would say. We have our best minds on it. 
The thing is, you aren’t sure that that’s true. The minds that have been set to this task are you and the God of Lies. It’s hardly the best they could have come up with, considering your track records. Actually, you take that back - Loki was a good choice for this mission, because, not three hours after arriving in this hellhole of a city, he seems to have somehow developed the ability to read minds. More specifically, yours. And that could prove stunningly useful. 
The scene, as it stands: Loki, sprawled across the lumpy bed, three pairs of crisp white shirts, a plaid scarf, and a full set of Asgardian battle armor neatly hung in the mothball-infested closet, flicking through channels on the grain, cracked television with an apathetic expression and one arm thrown haphazardly over bent leg. Propped up in such a way that he could jump or spin or parry at a moment’s notice, yet perfectly, devastatingly languid, leafing through Nick Fury’s dossier on the Pink Cobra. He looks at you like a god, you think, and then remember. He is one. 
You, on the floor, because on top of all the other things this hotel doesn’t have, like two beds, there isn’t anything even resembling a desk, shifting through a glowing, holographed file archive from headquarters that barely runs on your severely outdated laptop. It’s a point of pride to you, keeping the laptop - not because it’s good, but because it’s survived five years of being an Avenger, which is something not even all the Avengers can claim to have done. You’re also fairly certain that Tony’s attempts to update the firmware had infested it with some sort of renegade virus. Elevated above your screen, the files are split into two groups, the sum total of everything that you know about both of the groups that are avidly trying to kill you. 
There’s the wealth of information containing the Pink Cobra’s poisoning sprees, but those aren’t the files that interest you, and you know that Loki’s not much interested in them either. That honor falls to the fanatics at the IPP, the Imminently Predictable Psyops organization, which you know even less about than you do about the Pink Cobra, chief among which the fact that they need a new name. Imminently Predictable Psyops?, Tony had said, when you’d finally apprehended one of their proxies. What do they think this is? Some type of ARG? 
What you’ve gleaned, from months worth of studying the network, is that they operate as a sort of cringe-oriented death cult intent on ‘reshaping the universe through meme agents’. They’d been on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar for a long time - upwards of a year - before anyone at team base learned they existed - which, you can almost hear Loki saying, was a failure in the extreme. Currently, it was your job to obsessively worry over whether they were going to send ‘meme agents’ to bust through the door of your seedy hotel room and off you both. You hated - truly loathed - how casually Loki was taking it all. 
He’s acting like nothing was wrong with this situation, when, in fact, you’re ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that this night will end up with one or both of you dead. It is, to say the least, disconcerting. 
Kill switch, the holograph files read. Cross-referential Neil Cicierega acoustic weaponry. Your mind sees the words, but doesn’t comprehend them, and you run a hand up to rub at your bleary eyes with annoyance. You risk a glance upwards; on the bed, Loki scans page after page after page with disinterested nonchalance, punctuating the flipping over of each document with a noncommittal hum; as if to say, I understand you. As it to say, This could be worse. You try to slip into that mindset. Certainly, things could be worse. 
Actually, though? Not really. 
Because, for all the world, the holo-file in front of you just said ‘Pepe The Frog Chaos Banking Laser Initiative’. 
“What the fuck does that even mean?!” 
“Sorry?” 
You whip your head around. Loki, raising an eyebrow. Damn that - perfect - eyebrow. 
“Sorry,” You echo back at him, rubbing your eyes again, perversely glad for the break, even if it is this awkward. “I … said that out loud, didn’t I?” 
“Marginally,” He tells you. “Yes.” 
“Sorry,” You - well, it’s not a whine, not exactly. You’re tired, and there’s no way you’re going to sleep tonight, so you feel like your tone’s justified. “I didn’t mean to do that. I think I’m just - this is. Completely nonsensical.” 
“Show me?” He asks, and you snort. He could totally just look up, but - 
“Do you have a P.h.d in memes?” You ask him, and, before he can answer, “Because unless you have a P.h.d in memes, I don’t think you’ll be able to help.” 
“You’d be surprised,” Loki says. Vaults over the bed with the speed and grace of a panther, filling the air with a cringing wheeze as the rusty springs bend underneath him, and landing in front of the holo-file, pushing you aside slightly to get a better view. When his fingers brush against your side, cool and firm, you flinch. 
“Tired,” You offer, when he shoots you a momentarily concerned look. “Just. Need to sleep, later, I think.” 
But Loki is already scanning the file, and when he looks up, not five seconds later, you want to hit somebody. Preferably, you think, him. 
“I would assume,” Loki says, “That they’re using time travel in order to obtain and store monetary value by way of a Pepe-the-frog inspired laser array.” 
“Oh,” You say. You blink once. Blink twice. Still have no idea what that means. “Right.” 
“Do you not know your memes, love?” He asks you, smirking. And oh, if you don’t feel things. 
“I don’t go on the internet, much,” You tell him. “Too busy, you know, trying not to get killed.”
 Loki shrugs. Sidles away from the file. The groan and squeak of those springs tells you he’s back on the bed, giving you some well-needed space, but you can’t bring yourself to look. 
“You can sleep,” He says, “If you want.” 
“Ha!” You yelp/choke/embarrassingly bleat out into the room’s stale silence. Underneath the rotten eggs, you catch a whiff of bong-water. “No.” 
“There’s a bed,” Loki says, cocking his head pointedly and patting the lumpy covers. 
“Yeah, that’s - kind of the problem.” 
“Why?” He asks you. 
“You - really?” 
“I was only asking,” Says Loki, re-focusing his attention on whichever Pink Cobra document’s next in the folder. “If you aren’t comfortable telling me - I merely thought, seeing as you were tired, you might take this opportunity to rest.” 
“Yeah,” You  tell him, “Of course, that’s - nice of you.” 
It comes out stilted. Patently off. If he notices, he doesn’t say. 
“Are you going to - um. Do you need help, with the rest? The ones I have seem kind of hopeless. I mean,” You say, when he doesn’t look up, “I don’t think that we have to worry about getting demolished by trans-dimensional Agarthian wormholes.” 
“Of course not,”” Loki says, scoffing and incredulous, gaze, you are sure, on his page. “If they wanted to kill us, they’d send someone with a gun.” 
In reality, it’s several someones. 
                                                             ***
“You jinxed it,” Is the first thing you tell him, when the men leave you. They’ve thrown you into a one-room warehouse, rickety shelves stacked with cartoonish tubs of green goop and mildewing boxes filled with grenades and machine guns and what appears, at second-glance, to be twelve-fingered latex gloves. You’re tied wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle, and your throat feels uncharacteristically parched. Fear, you tell yourself. Apprehension. “Can’t you just - use your seidr to magic us out of this?” 
If you could see him - which you can’t, because you’ve been tied back to back - you’d swear that Loki was glaring. 
“Do you - do you have a plan?” You ask, after a moment. 
“I’m working on it,” He says. 
“That’s all?” You say. “We were dragged out of our drug-dealer’s hotel room by a bunch of robed men with guns and the only thing you have to say is ‘I’m working on it?’” 
“I’d get it done faster,” Says Loki, “If you wouldn’t interrupt me.” 
“Ok,” You tell him, “No interrupting you. Got it. That’s - Alright.” 
Unfortunately, not interrupting him is easier said than done, because without the sound of your voice, you are left to your thoughts. 
The men had broken in nearly immediately after Loki’s glib, sardonic retort to your worries, shooting the glass out of the room’s already half-smashed-in window and kicking the door in simultaneously. A bit much, isn’t it?, Loki’d asked, and you had wanted to smack yourself on the forehead. Really not the time, you had hissed, but Loki hadn’t seemed to hear you. Do you do this with everyone they send you to assassinate?, he had asked, instead. The men had been dressed in long, billowing cloaks of bright red, embroidered with orange snakes framing a picture of Beaker from the muppets with early 2000’s emo hair. Chaotic meme agents, you had thought to yourself. So that’s what they’re supposed to look like. 
You hadn’t picked up, until now, on the snakes. 
“They’re working together,” You say, when you can’t stand the playback of Loki being disarmed after spinning and tossing his silver daggers at the men, of the men kneeing him in the balls and twisting your arms behind your back, holding a gun to your head to stop you from trying to fight. Waking up in the back of a van that smelled like microwaved fish. Being tossed like garbage onto the floor of the warehouse, painted in bruises and cuts from the small pieces of glass that had dug their way into your skin. “The IPP and the Pink Cobra.” 
“Obviously,” Loki says. Sharply. 
“Did Tony not -“ 
“Stark,” Loki practically growls, and, ok, you’re not losing it but that did make you jump in your skin, “Is an idiot. He wouldn’t know how to connect the dots if they were presented to him in a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode.” 
“That’s - You had that on Asgard?” You ask him, momentarily distracted. You wish that you could see Loki’s face, and are very glad that you can’t. 
“That isn’t the point,” Loki says. 
“I know,” You tell him. You’re scared that your voice is trembling. Scared that he can tell, even though he’s not facing you, how badly your fingers are shaking. Scared that he knows your worst, biggest secret - 
That, despite being an Avenger, you are anxious. That, despite him being Loki, despite him being here, and wonderfully, infuriatingly himself, he cannot help you, this time. 
You are going to die, covered in cuts and abrasions, on the floor of a meme network’s headquarters, at three a.m in the morning. They are going to come in with umbrellas that shoot poison darts or the ex-presidents Point Break masks and mow you down, and Loki has no fucking plan. You feel the ropes tighten where they’re knotted, itchy and fierce, and you have to fight to keep yourself from whining in terror and nerves. Whining isn’t what Loki needs right now. Whining’s not going to save you. 
What is going to save you, you try and remind yourself, is Loki. If you can shut up. If you can let him decipher what needs to be done. If he can figure out some way to do it before the blowtorch-wielding robed vigilantes or some disincarnate meme god comes back and draws their electronically-sharpened fingernails across your throat hard enough to split skin and sinew, send waves of blood down the front of your shirt like a river of sweet, thick red honey and toss your corpse in a ditch by a highway and - 
“Y/N?” It is foggy, barely-heard. Posh. “Y/N!” Louder, this time. There are fingers on your wrist, bent backwards to grip you. Squeezing, insistent and there. “Breathe.” 
Fuck, you think. You’d started to hyperventilate. To shake, with a full-body tremor that forecasts a great, unstoppable wave of sobbing panic. And Loki had noticed. “I need you to trust me,” He says. “Trust me to get us out of this. Can you do that for me, darling?” 
He has never called you darling before, but God how you’ve wanted him to. You feel like you’re being stabbed in the heart - because there is no way he means it, no way that this is anything other than a desperate and cruel attempt to get you to calm down. Something that belies how obvious you are. How needy you are. How pathetic. And yet - 
And yet, he doesn’t say it meanly. He speaks like he cares about you, and in the face of your impending death, you want to think Loki cares. You’d let him say anything, do anything to you, right now. More than that, though, more than any of that - as you think back to meeting him, to your blossoming late-night friendship and twitchy banter and the quiet moments you’ve shared with him in-between battles - 
“I trust you, Loki,” You tell him, and feel your breath quiet in you. Feel yourself growing still and calm with the certainty that Loki will do as he’s said. 
That you will survive this. 
That -
“Good,” Loki says. Not relieved, but determined. Leaving you no room to argue. 
“So what do we do?” You ask him. 
“Nothing,” Says Loki, and you can hear his wide grin. 
“Nothing?” You ask him, gawking.
 “Nothing,” Says Loki. He gives your hand a tight squeeze. 
And then the Pink Cobra walks in. 
                                                             ***
This will end badly, you think. It’s about the only thing that you can think, preoccupied as you are with - 
It might be easier not to - 
Fuck. 
The thing is - and you really do try not to move, not to groan, not to scream - the thing is, you thought that when Loki said he had a plan, that said plan wouldn’t involve you being collateral damage for a LARP-er who’d most likely broken out of an asylum. I wish that we could be back in that shitty one-bed hotel room, you think to yourself, and - alright, not the best timing, but it rips a laugh out of you, spiraling and unhinged, before you feel the Pink Cobra, resplendent in coral cloak and villainous swagger, slug you one in the jaw. It hurts worse than you’d thought it would - you’ve never really gotten injured on missions, you’re usually good at talking yourself out of things, which is why the Avengers keep you around. You can speak any language, as long as you’ve heard it once, and your customary daily awkwardness can shift into persuasion like flicking a light-switch on. 
Usually, though, you had an opportunity to speak, and weren’t rendered speechless by - 
Loki, if you’re being honest. How much you want to kiss him. How much of an asshole he is. Trust me, he’d asked you. Can you do that for me? The Pink Cobra’s grip is sharp and bruising on your side; he’s slipped his fingers up your shirt and is pressing the point on your side that threatens to make your knees buckle, making bile rise up in your throat, driving you wild with the aching need to flee. He has one hand clasped over your mouth, now that you’ve quieted, and you can feel something - pain, and a pill - pressed snugly into his palm. He will force it down you, you know, if Loki so much as sighs wrong. 
You’ll never trust him again. 
You wish that you knew what the time was. If you end up dying at 4:20, you’re going to throw fists with somebody in hell. 
You wish, also, for aspirin. Avengers training has left you woefully unprepared for the reality of getting punched in the face. You can already feel your jaw starting to swell, taste an egregious amount of blood. You’re pretty sure that the force of the blow knocked a tooth out. 
What strikes fear into you, though - a fear somehow deeper than the absolutely bone-chilling, blood-curdling knowledge of what the Pink Cobra might do to you - is the look you’d seen on Loki’s face in the seconds after he’d grabbed you, before it fell into practiced, amused apathy. He’d gone white, and his eyes had blown wide. His fingers had spasmed with anger. 
He’d looked as scared as you feel. 
And you have no idea why. 
It isn’t like you’re anyone special. Not any more than the rest of the team. Less so than most of them. You aren’t a god, like Loki and Thor are. You don’t have stealth-assassin training, like Bucky, or super-strength like Steve. You can’t seamlessly pilot mechanical suits over the New York skyline like Tony, or use a crossbow like Clint, or beat thirty people in single-hand combat like Nat, or change into a nitro-fueled rage machine like Bruce. 
You can’t do anything, much. 
Except, apparently, die.
You squeeze your eyes shut, not letting yourself look at him. You won’t let Loki’s disinterested face be the last thing that you see. It makes the Pink Cobra’s words all the worse, when he speaks. His voice is dark and sick and timbered, and you feel maggots crawling over your skin as he slots you closer to his body, tightening his already painful grip on you so that you can’t move even an inch away from his tensed, coiled muscles. 
“So,” He says, “You are superheroes? How long did it take me, to apprehend you? Ah - three and a half hours? Tell your boss-man, do better next time.” 
“I’ll pass it along,” Loki says. His voice sounds different. You can’t place why. Still won’t look. 
“You won’t,” The Pink Cobra says. You can feel his shoulders rise, then fall. Feel him smirk. You love Loki’s smirk - secretly delight in drawing it from him, sometimes - but the Pink Cobra’s only fills you with yet more terror. You’ve pursed your lips tightly shut against the intrusion of his hand, but when Loki speaks he forces your bruised, bleeding jaw open and shoves the pill into your mouth. The pain of your injury tears through you like white lightning and you thrash, trying to escape. A keening sound claws its way out of you, fevered and anguished, and you feel your hands, still bound up in ropes, trying in vain to push off and away. The man behind you sighs, and then aims a swift kick at the back of your knees, which sends you down before you can so much as yelp. Your knees hit the floor, and he’s holding you by your hair now, twisting it so hard that you’re almost sure he’ll scalp you. He’s pulled something - too big to be be a knife, some kind of shortsword?! - Out from beneath his cloak, and is pressing it up against the column of your throat. You feel the weight of the capsule between your teeth heavily now, and realize what it means in the split-second before the Pink Cobra bends and whispers, Your choice; stale and rancid into the shell of your ear. 
Next, he addresses Loki. 
“You’ll be wanting to know what our plan is,” He says. Our, you think. We were right. “Hmm? I know how you people are. Always wanting to know. Tell me this, Mischief Man. What will I get, if I tell you? What price are you willing to pay?” 
You know what this is. You know it like the ache in your heart when Loki brushes you off. Like the safety you feel in his arms. You open your eyes. Take in Loki’s face - he’s trying to hide, but you know, you know how he feels. You know what he’s going to choose. 
And you know that you can’t let him choose it. 
“You’ll let her go,” Loki asks, “If we let you leave here?” 
“The thing could be managed.” 
No, you think. No, Loki, don’t! Whatever the Pink Cobra’s going to do, whatever the IPP’s planning, knowing’s worth more than your life. 
“One thing I want to know,” Loki says. He’s twirling a knife of his own, a slim silver number he keeps on him at all times, and you feel the blade on your own throat start to dig in - not enough to draw blood, but enough for you to feel it. The threat of it. The promise of it, and the coldness of the gleaming metal. “You and the IPP? How does it fit?” 
“You want information from me?” The Pink Cobra asks. Lets his blade bite you, just barely, and the strength it takes for you not to scream is more strength then you’d known you possess. 
“Yes,” Says Loki. “It’s not like I’m asking for much.”
He meets your gaze. You meet his. You hope that he cannot read it. His eyes are so worried, so desperate, you nearly break down. 
“I suppose,” The Pink Cobra says, “That you’ve earned it. Getting here - getting this far - it must have been no easy task. Fine. There is no Imminently Predictable Psyops organization. They were a - what do you call it? Red herring? A scent of blood for the shark.” 
“You fabricated them,” Loki says. “Why would you fabricate them?” 
He is losing his composure, you can tell. You will never be ready for this. He will never be ready for this. You hope that he will forgive you, and you know that he never will, and you swallow the pill in your mouth. 
“Because it was fun,” The Pink Cobra says. 
And then your body knows pain. 
                                                             ***
“He didn’t think I would do it,” You say. Your mouth feels thick, clotted with blood and shock, and your body is one raw, gaping wound, but the giddy feeling of victory has begun to course through your veins. Pure, unfiltered adrenaline. You had waited for the moment of death to come, and it hadn’t. The pill is fake, your mind had screamed. But there’d been one thing left, that might work. You had breathed as slowly as you possibly could, forced every muscle of your scared, writhing body into single-minded limpness, rolled your eyes backwards into your head,  drew one last breath in, and fallen. Twitched, for a few seconds, like a rag-doll. Then made yourself still. 
Loki had slit the Pink Cobra ear to ear, beaten him within an inch of his life as he bled out, screaming like a man deranged. He’d left him a wet, bloody mess on the floor, and the blood had run down the not-quite-steady plane of it, pooling around you and mixing with the blood from your jaw, from the evening’s earlier glass cuts, from the deep, burning stab wound the Cobra had got on your arm. 
You breathe, and your body knows pain. 
You look at Loki, and your body knows pain. 
He is shaking. Visibly shaking. His hands are clenched into fists at his side, and he looks as pale as bleached bones. His eyes are shot red - he had sobbed, when you fell, and a howl had torn through his body. You don’t know what to do, what it means, what the hell even to say to him. His cheeks are tear-stained, his breaths ragged. 
You blink, and your body feels pain. 
“We won,” You croak out. “Loki, we won.” It hurts worse than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. “I think he broke one of my ribs.” 
You don’t mean to say that last part, but you do, and you are the one crying now, because it feels like he probably has, and you can barely even stay awake through this pain. It feels like the Hulk is pulling you limb from limb. Like all of those nightmares you’ve had where Loki decided to leave you - to go back to Asgard, and never speak to you again. 
Stupid, you think. He won’t, again. Not after this. 
Loki still hasn’t spoken. He’s looking at you, and his eyes are wild. Desperately, jaggedly roaming your body. His fists twitch with every new part of your body they land on. 
“That bad, huh - Oh, fuck.” 
And just like that, the tension leaves Loki’s body. The dam that had held him firmly in place is broken, and he’s running towards you with none of his usual grace. Dropping down by your side. He hoists you, and you hiss, and the tears won’t stop coming, so you bury your face in his shirt, nose pressed at the crisply ironed collar. Don’t care that it’s bleeding, because Loki’s here now. Holding you. Keeping you real. He’s got one hand stroking your hair and his touch feels right, nothing like the Pink Cobra’s, and he’s whispering: You brave, precious, idiot, how dare you, how dare you throw your life away like that?! 
“It worked,” You exhale - it’s the most you can manage. You would laugh, if it wouldn’t shred you to pieces. Loki cradles you fiercely, hands grasping at the sweat-and-blood soaked fabric of your shirt, running over you as if he doesn’t believe you’re alive. “It - hurts,” You get out. Barely. “Loki, it - I can’t -“ 
“Don’t,” He tells you. His voice has gone brittle, choked with thorns. “Don’t talk. Don’t - Don’t ever do that again. Do you hear me? You will never do that again.” 
If I need to, I will, you think. And you wonder if that’s why you’re here. Wonder if that’s why you’re strong. You wonder, and hurt, and believe. Feel the strength of him, clutching you like you’re the only thing in the world, taking in greedy lungfuls of your weeping, your need for his touch. 
You can’t talk, anymore. It hurts too badly. But you surge, upwards, up into where he’s holding the back of your head, pressing your forehead into the dark, warm space under his jaw that smells like smoke and peppermint. Loki is taller than you are - you fit right into the curve of his neck, and his long curls curtain you in a bubble of warmth and content. 
“Promise,” You say, but it comes out unintelligible, and Loki’s hands are running, so gently, over your skin. 
“What was your plan?” You ask him, forcing it out of your body. 
“Hush,” Loki says, “Later.” 
There might not be any later, you think. Not like this. 
                                                             ***
In the hotel room, an ocean of scattered pages and ceiling mold and blessed privacy, you balance, cross-legged, on the bed. The wind blows wet and cold from an earlier rain through the busted out window. You have managed this out of sheer stubborn-ness, because it is the most that Loki allowed you to do. You’d passed out, twice, on the journey back - he had magicked you there, though it had taken a considerable amount of effort that you weren’t sure you really deserved - and had immediately propped you up on the pillows and stooped to ruffle through his suitcase, emerging not long after with binding tape, cat-gut thread, and a needle so sharp you could feel it slicing your flesh. You had opened your mouth to protest, but Loki had silenced you with a glare that could fell Director Fury. So you had gone quiet, and caved, letting him kneel over you on the distinctly lumpy mattress and begin inspecting your wounds. It had taken a few tries and a Please to convince him to let you sit on your own, and it hurt much more than the manner in which he’d arranged you. You were starting to, slightly, regret it. 
“You don’t have to do this,” You say, pulling it from bleeding lips. He shushes you with a harsh, stern tut. “You’re not my mother,” You tell him. 
“You could have died,” Loki says. There’s a snarling undercurrent to it that you can’t even start dissecting. “What were you thinking?” He asks. It is easier, though still painful, for you to answer him - he had used nearly half of his Thor-limited magic reserve to perform a basic stasis spell on your injuries, but the spell wouldn’t last forever. You’ll need stitches, he’d said, choking it out like he was the hurt one when he’d seen the number the Cobra’s blade had done to your arm. 
“I’ve had worse,” You say, grinning weakly. 
“Are you lying to me?” He asks you, with the tone of someone who’s distinctly not in the mood for joking. 
“I thought,” You say. Steel yourself. “I thought you weren’t going to do what needed to be done. So I - Did it myself.” 
“What needed to be done.” Loki says, enunciating every word. 
“We couldn’t let him walk away,” You say, meeting his eyes. Emerald, clouded with fury. You don’t let yourself flinch from that anger. You don’t let yourself run from your choice. “You know what he would have done.” 
“I don’t,” Loki says. “I know nothing. I know - I know that you think that your life means so little I wouldn’t care if you were gone. That I could - Live, without you.” 
That’s… different. 
“And I know,” Loki continues, “That I told you to trust me, and I meant it.” 
“I do,” You say. There is no hesitation. “I trust you - Loki. Of course I trust you. It’s not - it wasn’t -“ 
“Stop talking,” He snaps. Gentles, when you jerk your head away, blink back a fresh wave of tears. “You need rest,” He says. “And - This is. This is going to hurt.” 
You nod. 
“Best get it over with, then.” 
“You should keep your eyes closed,” He says. 
“No! I want - I need to look.” You bring your eyes up to your arm, which he’s settled onto bed’s chewed, scratchy quilt without you realizing, but Loki tilts your head up with a barely-there graze of his fingers, achingly gentle to avoid aggravating your swollen jaw. He holds your gaze for a long time. Doesn’t look mad, anymore. 
“Are you sure?” He asks you. Like all of this could be over with, if you wanted. 
“How bad it could it be?” You ask back. 
The injury is horrendous. You’d thought - honest-to-God, you’d thought the pain was terrible, but you weren’t ready for what your arm has become. The line of the wound runs in a craggy jigsaw from just under your shoulder to the tip of your elbow. Small wonder you can’t move it, can barely think through it at all. 
“Y/N?” Loki asks, “Are you -“ 
“Fine,” You say. Blink, and your body knows pain. Try not to let how scared you are show, when you look back up at Loki. The Pink Cobra’s dead. You shouldn’t be scared, anymore. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?” 
Loki sighs. Long and low and sad. 
“Will I have to - “ 
“Bite,” Loki says, and shoves something - the sleeve of his shirt, crusted in blood which you realize, sickeningly, is yours - into your mouth. “It’ll help.” 
It doesn’t, but he holds your hand through it, hushing you through the pain with furrowed eyebrows, thread and needle flying deftly through skin, air, skin again. His fingers move precisely, deliberate,  quick, and when, on one stitch, you audibly whimper, he pauses to lean down and press a soft, utterly unexpected kiss to your hairline. You are unable to fully express how much it means to you, so you do the next best thing and kiss him yourself, pressing him back once he’s finished the last of his stitches and breathing all the the words you can’t say into him. You press every fear and gratitude and lingering nerve into the warmth of his lips, wending your fingers through his dark hair despite the pangs of agony still thrumming through every inch of your body. Your face hurts, but the kiss is all you’ve ever needed and more, and Loki is so, so gentle with you, pulling away with creased eyebrows and a look of genuine concern. 
“I wanted to,” You tell him, mustering all of your strength. “It didn’t hurt.” 
“Stop,” He tells you, voice cracking, “Stop lying.” 
“I’m not,” You say. “I wanted to, Loki, I did.” 
“And you wanted to -“ 
“No.” You are vehement about it, for a broken-ribbed, broken-jawed, freshly-stitched person coming off the high of his teeth and his tongue. “Not that, I swear, never that.”
 “Why did you do it, then?” Loki asks. He has steepled his fingers under his chin, and his narrowed eyes pierce through you to the soul. You couldn’t lie to this man, you think, if your life depended on it. 
You know that you have to tell him, this time. Really tell him. You don’t. 
“”Why didn’t you use your magic?”
“You know why,” He says, and you do. You’d remembered it as the white pill turned to white powder in your gums, as the Pink Cobra’s knife had carved its way into your flesh. Thor had put a set limit on it, as condition of Loki’s release - Proof, he had said, We can trust you. Loki had thought to save it for later, that you wouldn’t need him right then. He had thought you’d talk them out, to safety. 
You’d failed him. 
“You didn’t,” He tells you, voice raw. He goes to grip your chin, to force you to listen to him, but with a glance and ill-concealed wince at your purpled jaw he thinks better of it. “You think that you failed me? You let yourself be - be beaten and stabbed - just so people you’ve never met in your life wouldn’t die, and you call that a failure?” He runs a hand through his hair. Bites back a snarl. Drops your arm. “I need you to listen to me,” Loki says, “Very, very carefully. You’re going to tell me why now, love. And then we’re going to fix it.” 
You raise an eyebrow. Worse than he does, you’re aware. 
“Sleep,” He amends, with a pointed look at the bed underneath you, “And then we’re going to fix it.” 
“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, “And I feel like I just got run over by a truck.” 
Loki huffs, a puff of warm air that you feel, from how close he still is. A grin twitches at the edge of his lips. It sets off sparks inside you. 
“I thought -“ You say. Shake your head, and restart. “You would have let the Pink Cobra attack. You would have let him just walk away, and I couldn’t just - let that happen.” 
“Enlightening.” 
“No,” You tell him, “I mean it. I couldn’t - I’m not - I’m not worth more than anyone else. We’re the Avengers. It’s our job to save people, Loki.” 
He’s regarding you carefully, eyes still narrowed, all vestiges of softness gone from his face. When he opens his mouth, it’s to close it. Form thoughts. Discard them. Exhale. 
“My mother once told me,” He finally says, “That I would never know what it meant to be human until I found the person who made me want to bleed the world dry. Take all of its’ suffering, all of its’ cruelty, and leech it out of the very fabric of time, just to keep that person from anguish, from harm.” 
“I don’t -“ 
He holds a hand up. You still. 
“She never said they would infuriate me,” Loki says. “She never said they would make me laugh, or smile, or question my sanity on a regular basis. She never said that they’d try and get themselves killed, and that I’d have to watch, and that I would feel like my heart was being ripped from my body and torn to a bloody pulp; that I would make the sky rain blood and fire at the sight of it alone. But she was right about one thing - Many things, but also this. She told me that it wouldn’t matter. That I would - love you - anyway.” 
“You don’t,” You say, not daring to hope. It’s an automatic retort. 
“Foolish girl,” Loki chides, and you blink back fresh, stinging tears. How long have you wanted to hear Loki say that to you? How many sneaky looks have you stolen in the heat of your missions, just to see his smart mind and tricky magic at work? How many nights have you sat up together, sequestered from your insomnia in a bubble of hard-earned banter and peppermint tea, fighting the tight, coiling urge to push aside your steaming mugs and pull him into your needing? 
He could not - he can’t - feel the same. 
“Loki,” You say, stumbling over the words, “You can’t - This is - This is me we’re talking about.” 
“Is there anyone else here,” Loki asks you, “That I could be talking about?” He seems nonchalant, now, as if this - this cruel fucking joke, when you already feel you’re on fire - is merely a fact of his life. “We’re going to leave this excuse of a town, and get you - proper care. Fix it. Because I will not, on my honor, watch you suffer in pain. But first, you’re going to sleep.” 
“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, and feel your resolve as it shatters. You cling to the statement like it’s the last remnant of the girl you were and the woman that you’ll never be, “And the shower doesn’t work. And I’m covered in blood.” 
But when you look at Loki, his eyes twinkle, mischievous. 
“Will you stay with me?,” You ask him, biting your lip. 
“You astound me,” He tells you, and rolls his eyes, and it feels - it feels normal. Good. A tender heat unfurls in your heart like orchid petals in the sun, numbing the persistent ache in your ribcage. “To even think that I would do anything else.” 
Later, you will ask him why. Why do you love me?, you will ask, and Loki will hum, low in his throat, curled around you just like this first night; your back pressed into his chest, your legs tangled up hopelessly, his fingers tracing nonsense patterns onto your spine in the dawn-light’s syrupy gold. Because, he will tell you, trailing a line of soft kisses up the scar on your arm - an ugly thing, but it functions, mostly, and only ever seems to hurt on the days when he isn’t there - I was given no choice. 
But if you’d had one?”, You will ask, and spin around, propping yourself on your elbow. 
You tempt me, He’ll tell you, baring his sharp teeth. Shouldn’t you know better than that? 
You will lie there, next to each other, not needing a single word. Because you will know. Because he will have told you, a thousand times, a thousand ways, exactly how he feels about you. 
Tonight, though, isn’t that night. It takes a moment to get settled in his hold, and the rain spits and drums against what glass remains in your window, slicking the carpet with dark, greasy splotches. It figures, you think, that even the rain in this city has the smell and the texture of oil. You feel like a bag of bones, stretched too thin. But safe, in his arms, in a way that you’ve never felt, before now. Loki is with you, you realize. Wrapped around you like a traveler’s cloak, the comforting weight of a slim, balanced blade at your side in a fight. He is cool, around your afraid. Warm, where his clever fingers whine and needle their way through your skin to your heart. 
“I hate you,” You tell him, “You know that?” 
Loki laughs, a deep, rumbling purr. 
“Go to sleep.”
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themadamespod · 4 years ago
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Sharon Carter: A Study in Selfishness
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier spotlighted some hard truths. Beyond its real-world parallels, it’s changed our perspective on the MCU. And on the heels of the finale, we can’t help but reflect on how we got here.
It feels like ages ago that an alien invaded Earth believing it was his right to do so. This madman imposed his will upon a whole planet. He wielded god-like power over an entire species. He took the lives of countless people, leaving the rest to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. 
In doing so, he became one of the most beloved characters in the MCU.
So why is it that many of the people who adore a monster are now so disappointed with Sharon Carter?
Easy. Loki is a man. 
Angels and Demons
Relax, everybody. This is not an anti-Loki treatise. I’m writing this post with a Loki poster behind my chair, a Loki mug on my desk, and a Loki t-shirt on my back.
To be fair, it helps that the God of Mischief is played by one of the most charming, attractive men in Hollywood. But Emily VanCamp is no slouch. She’s a beautiful, talented actor who elevates any project. So why are people upset that she’s the Power Broker?
Women aren’t supposed to veer from familial or cultural expectations. 
Women aren’t supposed to put themselves first. 
Women aren’t supposed to seize power in a man’s world. 
The events of Civil War alone had a tremendous impact on the characters we love. Sam and Bucky’s respective ordeals changed them forever, and The Blip forced them to adapt even further. So many people are praising their growth in the TFATWS finale, and we’re among them. But it’s frustrating to then see comments like these:
“Omg wtf is wrong with Sharon? That is NOT who she is!”
“Since when is Sharon evil? That ain’t her.”
“Sharon is totally a Skrull. The Sharon we know would never turn her back on everything she stands for.”
Guess what, folks? Just like Sam and Bucky, the Sharon we once knew no longer exists. She, too, changed and grew - right out of the box that the patriarchy built for her. And people don’t know how to handle it.  
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Double Standards
Misogyny is so deeply woven into the fabric of our society that a lot of people, women included, often don’t see it. But it’s in almost every facet of daily life, leaching into our brains like a toxin. And TFATWS called Marvel out on it by illustrating a simple fact:
Men and women who behave in the same way are treated very differently.
A man who tramples others for a promotion is ambitious. A woman is a conniving bitch.
A man who sleeps around is held up as a ladies’ man. A woman is looked down upon as a whore.
A man who logs extra time at the office is a good provider. A woman is neglecting her family. 
Despite centuries of fighting for our right to exist, women are still brainwashed to be and be seen as lesser than men. We’re expected to conform to roles meant to keep us subservient. We’re told that caring for others is more important than caring for ourselves. 
Sharon Carter received the same cultural programming. And it’s likely that she felt familial pressure (either explicit or implicit) to follow in Aunt Peggy’s footsteps, whether she wanted to or not. 
And follow she did.
Sharon joined S.H.I.E.L.D. She fought armed HYDRA agents. Then she sacrificed her life, her career, and her freedom for the greater good. And what did she get for it?
The same thing women always get when they put everyone else’s best interests ahead of their own. 
She got fucked. 
A Matter of Perspective
Let’s pretend the TFATWS finale had gone differently. The Power Broker is a previously unseen bad guy, a Wilson Fisk type. After the U.S. government branded her as a fugitive and the Avengers forgot her, Sharon has just been trying to survive in Madripoor.
Nonetheless, she helps Sam and Bucky neutralize Karli. Sam secures Sharon’s pardon and she reclaims her former post as a dutiful C.I.A. agent.
Talk about disappointing; that would be like watching a woman return to a man who beats her. 
In reality, Sharon is revealed as the Power Broker. After the people for whom she gave everything betrayed her, she built a lucrative business from scratch using a canny brain and the skills S.H.I.E.L.D. taught her.
Now for those who are incensed by Sharon’s turn because she’s selling weapons, please see Exhibit A:
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Even after Tony Stark stopped manufacturing weapons for the U.S. government, he continued making them for S.H.I.E.L.D. If memory serves, he also created a sentient murder-bot that leveled a city before nearly annihilating mankind.
Tony’s intentions were noble, but that didn’t make him any less responsible for a humanitarian disaster. The Sokovians would have been well within their rights to demand Tony’s arrest and incarceration.
But we love Tony, so we don’t like to go there.
And speaking of the U.S. government, let’s be real. American politicians wouldn’t condemn Sharon for illegally selling weapons to dangerous groups. They’d condemn her for cutting into their own profits. 
If there’s one thing the U.S. government excels at, it’s creating and arming terrorists. Sharon’s just running their playbook.
Redefining Selfishness
In all fairness, some people’s disappointment over Sharon’s arc has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with heroism. For this discussion, see Exhibit B:
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Ever since Steve Rogers got his happy ending with Peggy Carter in Endgame, the Marvel fandom has been divided into two camps.
Camp 1: Steve is a selfish bastard who abandoned his family, his country, and the world when they all needed him the most.
Camp 2: Steve did more than enough for his family, his country, and the world when they all needed him most and deserved his happiness.
I will always be a card-carrying member of Camp 2, which is one reason I exited my Endgame theater as a human ball of snot. 
Steve Rogers gave enough for his country even before he was defrosted. He liberated a POW camp behind enemy lines. He defeated Red Skull. He saved countless lives by crashing the HYDRA bomber into the arctic, sacrificing his own life in the process.
And when he was resurrected after 70 years, did he stop and smell the roses? Read a book on the beach?
No. He saved the world. Again, and again, and again.
It’s incredibly noble that a life with Peggy is all Steve wanted. Think about Michael Bay’s uber-patriotic Armageddon. Those roughnecks had quite the list of demands for saving the world, all of which seemed perfectly reasonable because, hello, they were saving the world. 
So what does this have to do with Sharon Carter? Well, if you’re in Steve Rogers Camp 1, you likely see Sharon as a selfish bitch. I’ll make the same argument in her defense:
She’s given more than enough for others. She has every right to now put herself first.
We as women need to redefine selfishness. It’s been weaponized against us for far too long. We have to reframe it as a positive concept whereby we simply make our needs a priority in our own lives. 
If more women embraced selfishness, we would be unstoppable. 
Oh, and if you’re in Steve Rogers Camp 2 but still disappointed in Sharon Carter, you’ve got some hypocrisy on your chin. Might want to wipe that off. 
A Final Note
Alice Walker, who knows a thing or two about feminism, once said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
When the name “Power Broker” was first dropped on The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, it felt cheesy. But now it seems like the perfect title for a woman who not only refused to give up her power, but actively sought more. 
Sharon Carter is unequivocally selfish, but that doesn’t make her evil or even wrong. 
It makes her one powerful woman. And we can’t wait to see her again. 
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stardust-walker · 4 years ago
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The (Victorious) Princess Bride: Chapter 2
Summary: Scott Lang is tasked with one of his hardest missions ever. Keep a trio of kids occupied as their parents decide to go on date nights. Never one to turn down a challenge or miss the chance to impress one of his superhero idols, Scott accepts. After his usual tricks for amusing kids fall through, he falls back on one of the classics: a story. If princesses, sword fighting, pirates, Valkyries, and magic are what it takes to keep these kids from tearing the house down, then he accepts.
Infinity War/ Endgame never happens. Mentions of chaotic dad Tony Stark. Loki x Sigyn.
CHAPTER SUMMARY:  After Loki gets 'killed' by the Dread Pirate Fury, Sigyn vows to never love again. Fast forward 5 years and she's being forced to marry the Grandmaster and is suddenly in the hands of a familiar cast of characters. One of them happens to look a little too familiar.
MASTERLIST
Scott had never been more grateful for Thor loving his own stories as he tried to continue with his own. He would really have to thank him for it later, honestly.
Loki had more than enough money for marriage, but more importantly he would need approval from his father. The time came when he had to pack the few belongings he had and left the farm to seek his fortune in the war with Svart...awhata.
“You said it wrong,” The dark haired boy piped up. His brother nodded in agreement.
“Who’s telling the story here, buckaroo?” Scott furrowed his brow as he continued.
Fine. The war with...Sakaar. Still, it was a very emotional time for Sigyn. 
“I fear I’ll never see you again,” Sigyn sniffled as she clung to Loki like she truly meant her words. She wanted to never leave the spot where they stood. She knew that the war was dangerous and there was more of a chance that she would never see him again than either of them would truly like to believe.
 “Of course you will,” Loki reassured her.
“But what if something happens to you?” Sigyn wiped at her eyes as the tears began to fall in spite of herself.
 A small smile crossed Loki’s face as he wiped one of her tears away. “Hear this now. I will return for you no matter what.” Sigyn opened her mouth to interrupt him, but Loki continued. His face was more stern now, a determined look in his eye. “This is true love. You think this happens every day?”
Sigyn’s heart fluttered as she studied his face. There was no hint of trickery in his eyes or anything to make her think the words he spoke were false.
The blonde let out a weak laugh as she threw her arms around Loki’s neck. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled her face into his neck. He might be speaking the truth, but there was no telling what the Norns had in store for them.
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“Loki never reached his destination,” Scott stated solemnly. “His crew was attacked by the Dread Pirate Fury. Now the Dread Pirate Fury never kept captives alive. When Sigyn got the news that Loki had been killed…”
“Murdered by pirates?” The blond haired boy sounded shocked despite trying to come off as disinterested. 
A small noise behind him made Scott turn quickly in his seat. “Wait who got murdered by pirates?”
“Jesus,” Scott yelped as he placed a hand over his heart.
The young girl on the couch threw her arms in the air. “Peter! Come sit! Uncle Scott is telling us a story and Loki just got killed by pirates!” 
The confused look on Peter’s face seemed to grow even more quizzical as he practically tiptoed over to take a seat on the couch. “Wait as in Loki Loki?”
“Of course not,” the dark-haired boy scoffed. “He would never let himself get killed by something as easy to beat as a mortal pirate.”
“Wait Dread Pirate Fury? Is that because of the eye-”
“How did you even get inside? Aren’t I the only one on baby-sitting duty tonight?”
“Oh!” Peter grinned. “Mr. Stark gave me a key!” He produced a house key from seemingly out of nowhere. “I was in the neighborhood and I was hungry but if you’re telling a story, I’m down.”
“Where was I?” Scott frowned as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Killed by pirates,” the two young boys answered together.
Peter eyed the two of them nervously before he turned and nodded at Scott.
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Anyway . When Sigyn found out that Loki had been killed, she went into her room and shut the door. For days, she didn’t eat or sleep. She swore she would never love again. After the death of his youngest son, Odin grew weaker. The war with Sakaar was eventually lost with the Grandmaster naming himself ruler over Asgard and his own country. The other prince had disappeared shortly after the war was lost. There was almost nothing left to remind her of how life was before anymore.
Five years passed, the main square of Asgard was filled as it hadn’t been in years to hear the announcement of the great Grandmaster’s bride to be.
The extravagant Grandmaster stepped out onto the balcony of the castle and raised a hand as the crowd grew silent. “Hey there, Sakaarans. I have a fantastic announcement! A month from now, our wonderful country will have its 5th anniversary of joining with the slightly less incredible country of Asgard. But look how much you’ve improved in only 5 years!” From where she stood, Sigyn rolled her eyes. “On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves.”
While that may have been true, at least Loki had never called her a commoner. At least not to her face anyway. Everything about the Grandmaster made her stomach turn and her blood boil. Most of all, she hated the fact that she had been sold off like a high prized goat to the man that was the reason her true love was dead. 
“But perhaps, you will not find her common now. My people! The Queen Sigyn!” 
The blonde woman took a deep breath as she allowed herself to be led out into the blinding sunlight. She had no doubt that the fanfare would have been just as grand if Odin was still king, but still. It might have been the way that her name sounded when the Grandmaster spoke, but it felt like the world was spinning. People were bowing to her and it took everything in her not to beg them to just stand up.
She didn’t want this. She missed the farm and her horses. More importantly, she missed the way the kingdom was before. She missed Loki.
Sigyn’s emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave the Grandmaster the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite his reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy that Sigyn found was on her daily ride.
Sigyn couldn’t stop herself from smiling as the horse galloped along through the orchard. As the wind blew her hair back and she felt the fresh air in her lungs, the woman felt at peace. Her hazel eyes narrowed as she spotted figures in the distance. She grew close enough to see them clearly and pulled on the reins to slow her horse to a stop. 
“My lady!” A bald man spoke from the center of the small group. “A word.” She didn’t like this man, but still she didn’t make a move to get going. A smaller woman stood beside him with a taller blond man alongside her. Something about the blond man looked familiar. “We are but poor lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?” 
The hair on the back of Sigyn’s neck raised as her eyes darted around quickly. “There is nothing nearby, good sir,” she replied briskly, “not for miles.”
The blond man’s relaxed expression seemed to crumble slightly as she heard something move behind her. 
“Then there will be no one around to hear you scream,” the bald man grinned at her.
Sigyn turned and her eyes widened as a bright green hand moved towards her. A startled yelp stopped halfway through as his fingers pinched her neck. She fainted. The blond man stepped forward quick enough to catch her as she swayed forward and began to fall from the back of her horse. 
“Well done, Hulk!” Skurge made a move like he was about to clap the green giant on the arm but some common sense got into him as he lowered his hand.
The dark-haired woman furrowed her brow as the blond walked over with the fainted woman in his arms. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Don’t you lot want to get back at the Grandmaster for stealing your home? And more importantly, my stuff. ”
Hulk grunted as he stomped over to rejoin the group.
“Easy there, buddy. I think you’re a bit too big for the boat, yeah?” Valkyrie raised a hand in the air.
The green monster let out a low growl of annoyance as his hands began to quiver. Before their eyes, he transformed back into a man. A much smaller, more nervous looking man than the fainted woman could probably guess. He exchanged a worried look with the blond man as Skurge went to work on a piece of cloth.
“Are you sure that this is the best way to get back at him? I mean isn’t this a little...extreme?” The nervous looking man asked.
“The best way to piss this git off is to take his stuff. Blondie here is his future bride, therefore,” he slapped the horse on its backside, “one of the most important parts of his stuff.”
Valkyrie’s eyes narrowed as he continued.
“I just placed a piece of fabric with Jotunheim’s crest on it on the lass’s horse. Everyone will think that the Jotun’s took her. Bang, boom, Bob’s your uncle. He’s got a war on his hands and we all get paid. And Val here can go back to drinking her sorrows away.”
The woman moved her hand dangerously close to her sword as Banner stepped forward. The man raised a hand slightly and she seemed to freeze. 
Her sword remained in its sheath, but her eyes narrowed a little more dangerously as he continued. 
“When he finds her body dead on the shores of Jotunheim, his suspicions about them will be totally confirmed! It’s genius!” 
“It’s murder,” Thor frowned as he glanced nervously at the warrior woman beside him. “You never said anything about killing anyone.” 
“I hired you to help me start a war, your highness . Unless you and Hulky would rather go back to fighting in the pits,” Skurge shot them a poisonous smile.
Banner let out a sigh as he turned to board the small ship with the others following behind him. “I don’t think it’s right to kill an innocent girl!”
“Oi!” Skurge shouted. Valkyrie stopped halfway through her check of the ropes on the sail. “Am I going nuts or did the word think escape your lips? No offense doctor, but I didn’t hire you . I hired the big man. You’re only here because he’s too big for the ship!”
Skurge didn’t give a damn about the other three in his crew, that much was evident.
“The sun’s getting low,” Thor said calmly as he laid Sigyn down and began to tie up her wrists.
“I agree with them, unfortunately,” Valkyrie shrugged as Banner began to pace the small deck of the ship. 
“What happens to her is none of your concern, ya got it?” Skurge rounded on her. Valkyrie stared right back. “When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk that ya couldn’t buy brandy.” 
Sigyn was beginning to stir now even as Thor continued to tie check the knots on her wrists.
“You were friendless! Wrecking havoc wherever you went,” the bald man continued his rampage as Sigyn regained consciousness. 
Thor tapped her on the hand gently as he rose to his feet to join the others. She couldn’t help but feel perplexed about the whole thing. First of all, she’d been stupid enough to let herself get kidnapped. Second of all, one of the kidnappers had been gentle with her as if she were a baby. Now what were they doing?
“That Skurge,” the woman whispered. “He can fuss.” She grunted as she pulled on one of the ropes.
“I think he likes to scream,” Thor smirked as he climbed the small ladder towards the helm, “at us.”
“Probably he means no harm,” Valkyrie snickered even as she watched their boss’s shoulders tense in frustration.
Banner chimed in. “He’s really very short on charm!”
“Enough of that! The lot of ya,” Skurge shouted.
“Bruce, are those rocks ahead?” Valkyrie called out in a sickly sweet voice.
“If there are, we’ll all be dead,” Banner deadpanned.
Thor let out a roar of laughter as Skurge fumed even more.
What the hell had Sigyn gotten herself into.
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“I bet his face was really...red,” the little girl grinned.
Peter let out a small laugh, “Nice one.”
“This rhyming game sure seems like it would be a lot of fun,” the blond boy raised an eyebrow.
Realization dawned on Scott’s face. Then his expression turned to one of amused horror. “Wait a minute, guys…”
“To play this game one would have to be very wise!” The black haired boy’s eyes sparkled with mischief.
“I wonder if we would win some sort of prize”
“Parker!”
“Aw,” Peter grinned. “Cmon Scott don’t be such a….a…”
“Barker?” The girl offered.
“Martyr,” the blond boy leaned forward in his seat.
“Oh that’s a good one!” His brother nodded in agreement.
“Alright I guess you guys don’t want to hear about the screaming eels and the,” Scott let out a sigh as he paused for dramatic effect, “cliffs of Insanity.”
The two boys cheered even as Peter inched a little further away from them on the couch. At least the kids weren’t trying to burn the house down like they did with their last babysitter.
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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years ago
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Of All the Places
Chapter 9
Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: A morning with you and a talk with John make it clear to Loki what he has to do. And, perhaps letting the right people in on his secret wouldn’t be so bad, after all. Chapter Warnings: some very fluffy bits and tons of pining A/N: From here on out, it’s going to get pretty plot heavy, so be prepared. Feel free to let me know what you think :) Updates every Friday.
Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @marvelousdaydreams​ @parkastoria​ @lokistan​
✥ Start at Beginning ✥ | ← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine 
Loki regained control of consciousness slowly, each sense returning to him one at a time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so soundly without having been injured. The last thing to register in his brain was your weight on his chest. You were on top of him even more than you had been last night, but he did not mind in the slightest. Instead, he smiled softly at your sleeping form, listening to the sound of your deep breathing. His eyes fell to your lips, parted ever so slightly, and he was overcome with desire to kiss you awake. He shook his head a little at the ridiculous idea.
He intended to sneak away and leave you to rest, but you foiled his plans by snuggling closer to him in your sleep, pinning him where he was. Looking down at your peaceful form, he caught a whiff your scent. It made him feel safe, a sensation he’d not been familiar with in a long time.
“Loki,” you whispered in your sleep.
“Yes?” he prompted, his heart beating a wild rhythm.
“Cold.”
“Ah, I see.”
It was silly to be disappointed. He shouldn’t have expected much else, after all, but it was not so uncommon for someone to make a confession in their sleep. He pulled the blankets tighter around you. For good measure, he said an enchantment to warm you up and ward off the cold radiating from his body. You released a sigh of joy and cuddled closer still.
Loki supposed he could go back to sleep, he very much would have liked to in fact, but now that he was up, his mind was racing. Now that he was sure of what he wanted, he’d need a plan to get it. To get you. The only problem existed in the form of his incompetence toward mortal courting procedures. He was vaguely aware that it was usually referred to as dating nowadays, but that didn’t exist on Asgard, so the word held very little meaning to him. A twinge of sadness shot through his heart as he realized Thor would probably know, considering his infatuation with that mortal woman, Jane Foster. Someone that he had been kept away from because of Loki. Now that he had you, his own mortal to love and cherish, he felt it an indescribable evil that he’d done such a thing.
“G’morning,” you mumbled in a groggy voice, too recently out of sleep to be embarrassed by your position just yet. You looked up at Loki and rubbed your eyes. “How’d you sleep?”
“Better than I have in a long, long time.”
“Yeah, hard work will do that to a person.”
“Perhaps,” he said, trailing one hand gently down your arm as the other came to rest on the small of your back. “Or perhaps it was something else.”
“Oh! Well, um, you know,” you fumbled for a coherent sentence, his words suddenly brining you to your senses. “It was probably the work thing. Building a barn, all that dancing. It takes a lot of a guy.”
You nervously laughed and made like you were going to roll off of him, but his arm didn’t budge, holding you in place.
“Well, for whatever reason, I am still rather tired. I would not mind a lazy morning.”
His beautiful grin convinced you to stay, and he couldn’t resist humming a little Asgardian tune as you absentmindedly played with his hair. It was a song Frigga had sung to him when he was just a child, before the malice had rooted itself in his heart. It always reminded him of a simpler, more innocent time. Here, with you, he felt that same feeling he did then.
“That’s really pretty,” you said once he was finished. “What song is it?”
“Something from deep in my memory. I am afraid that is all I can say.”
“Oh, well that’s good that things are coming to you in bits and pieces. Your brother, that book, this song—you’ll remember everything before you know it.”
“And yet, nothing could compare to this.”
“Yeah, this town is pretty charming.”
“I suppose you do not remember the last conversation we had about this,” he tsked. “It is not the town that I am referring to.”
Your eyes went wide as you looked at him. No matter how many times he said something like that, you wouldn’t get over it. Often, he couldn’t believe he said them, either, for a whole slew of reasons. For one, falling in love with a mortal was the last thing he’d ever imagined for his life. Though, now that he knew more about humans, he found it far more believable. And for another, he just didn’t have all that much confidence that anyone could love him like that. Why say such things if the feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated? That was the thing, though. With you, he dared hope they might be.
You opened your mouth to say something, but were cut off by the creaking of the barn doors. A loud meow came from Taffy as she made her way up to where you were, but you knew the cat wouldn’t have been able to open the doors. You and Loki looked at each for a brief second, both mortified and nervous to be found in such an intimate, vulnerable way. As a voice sounded from down below, you hastily broke apart, and Loki immediately missed your warmth.
“Are you out here?” Mama shouted, calling your name.
“Up here,” you said, leaning over the edge. “Loki’s here, too, in case you were worried.”
“Well, of course I was worried, but not ’bout him. Do you know how close I came to a heart attack when you weren’t in your bed this morning?”
“You are aware I’m not five anymore, right Mama?”
“Yeah, well, with your judgement,” she said, eyeing up Loki as he appeared beside you, “you sure seem like you are sometimes. Now hurry along before you miss breakfast.”
Well, the truce was nice while it lasted, but Loki guessed that whatever points he’d won with her from saving Matt were canceled out by his evening with you. Apparently she wasn’t too keen on the idea of you two cozying up with each other. Not that he meant that in a weird way or anything, but last night had been pretty intimate. And that wasn’t even mentioning this morning.
Shooting Loki an apologetic smile for Mama’s comment, you scurried down the ladder as not to upset the woman more. The raven haired god sighed and followed you, casting one last longing glance at the pile of blankets and pillows where you were snuggled together just moments ago.
“Listen here, boy,” Mama menaced in a low tone, putting up a hand to stop him. She checked over her shoulder to make sure you were already out of the barn before continuing. “I won’t be losing another one of my babies to an untrustworthy stranger.”
“I believe I already told you, I would never hurt them, never hurt any of you,” he almost pleaded. “That is not my intention.”
“Just because you don’t mean to hurt someone, doesn’t mean you won’t.”
She stalked out before Loki could get another word in, not that he really knew what to say. She was right, after all, especially when it came to him. How many people, how many families, had he destroyed in his path of life? He’d certainly ruined his own.
The God of Mischief sat down on a hay bale, burying his head in his hands. He felt distraught beyond words, torn between his head and his heart. His mind was screaming to let you be, but his heart—oh, his poor crippled heart!—was begging to never be away from you. And, in the end, wouldn’t leaving lead to pain for you, too? Whether you loved him back or not, he knew you cared in some way.
“Loki, you alright out here?” John called from the barn doors. “Mama said you were coming along, but you-know-who was starting to panic that you’d fainted or something.”
The trickster god smiled at your concern for his well being. It only strengthened his conviction that you wouldn’t totally scorn him if he were to tell you how he truly feels. Still, the thought of actually doing that was so daunting that he hid his face again.
“I am fine,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “Just fine, thank you.”
“You’re not,” John replied as he sat next to Loki. “We’re friends, right man? You can talk to me, too, you know.”
“It would be quite a lot to unpack, I am afraid,” he admitted with a wry laugh.
“I’ve got time.”
“I...” he began, unsure of how much he could say without revealing the truth. “The whole time I have been here, I have felt that I should leave. But now I do not know how I could do that without hurting those I care about. I also cannot fathom staying here forever without telling my true feelings to...” he trailed off, not quite ready to admit it out loud just yet, but when John said your name, Loki confirmed it with a nod. “For the first time in a while, I do not know what my next move should be.”
“Well, for starters, be completely honest with me, God of Mischief and Lies.”
“Pardon?” Loki deadpanned, his mouth dry.
“I know, Loki. But before you run off, I haven’t told anyone.”
“When? Why?” Loki questioned, at a loss for words.
“Remember when I went into the city the other day to get supplies after the tornado?” Loki nodded. He would have gone, too, but there was still too much damage around the farm from the twister for both of them to take off. “I found out then. Some small newspaper ran a story on it, and I put the pieces together.”
“And as for the why?”
“Because you’d literally just saved my son not forty-eight hours before. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. So I don’t care what they say, I don’t think you’re all that bad. Or bad at all, really. Don’t worry, you’re secret’s safe with me.”
Loki nodded slowly, comprehending the information he’d just been given. John really was a friend to Loki, but he was something more, too. He was almost what a brother should be, in Loki’s mind at least. He was like how Thor used to be when they were children. There was one time, before he’d received any kind of training, when Loki’s spell had backfired on him. It had hurt, both emotionally and physically, but he was too fearful of being reprimanded to tell his parents. Thor had sat with him then, much like John was doing now.
“I cannot even begin to thank you,” he finally said. “And I truly promise that I will do everything in my power to protect this family, not hurt it.”
“I believe you, but you have to promise one thing.”
“And that would be?”
“Tell them how you truly feel.”
It was a fairly reasonable request, all things considered. And John had insisted multiple times that you felt the same way about him. So perhaps this story wouldn’t have such a tragic finish after all. Then again, did villains get happy endings? Or maybe Loki wasn’t the villain. It’d been a bit since he hadn’t thought himself one, but in light of everything that had happened over the last month or so, he was starting to see things in a more favorable way.
“Alright,” he agreed. “I will do it, but you must give me time to plan.”
“Deal. And I hope you know, you’re going to have to tell them the truth sooner rather than later. About all this.”
“I do know. And it will be sooner. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt them.”
“It’s like I said before, Loki, I believe you.”
After thanking him again, they headed to the house, those three words ringing in Loki’s ears. I believe you. It had been a long time since anyone had believed Loki. Maybe he could believe John and accept that you liked him too. Maybe. But he wouldn’t have to guess for long; he knew he’d be finding out very, very soon.
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aurorawest · 4 years ago
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⭐ If you could, write about the part where Loki and Thor are desguised as women as they escape that army camp.
Oooh, sure!
Context: this is from chapter 14 of The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy. Loki is in a massive army encampment and manages to locate Thor by astral projecting. In order to pass through the camp to actually get to Thor, Loki takes female form and barges into Thor’s tent. Thor doesn’t recognize her at first so Loki transforms into a man again. Here’s their escape:
Looking at Loki like he’d just grown a second head, Thor said, “Great plan. I only see one problem with it. We’re here and there’s no way to get out of this camp without being seen. There are guards all around the perimeter, and—” But he stopped, noticing, finally, the way Loki was smiling at him. “Wait. You’re not going to—”
“Why not? It worked for me.”
“It worked for you because when you look like a woman, you are a woman!” Thor said. “I can’t—how am I supposed to pretend?”
“My magic is easily up to the task of glamoring away your hulking masculinity,” Loki said with a flick of his fingers. When Thor still looked doubtful, Loki added innocently, “You’ll be lovely, I’m sure. Did you have a preference on hair color?”
“I’m not concerned about being pretty,” Thor said. “I’m concerned about getting stopped and questioned.”
I knew I wanted Thor to object to this plan because, quite honestly, it’s funny for Thor to object to this plan. What I did not want to do was have Thor objecting to the plan because the idea of looking like a woman was distasteful to him. I also didn’t want him to come across as disparaging the fact that Loki can be both male and female. But Loki is almost kind of pushing to object to it on both of those levels, because Loki likes to push, and he wants people to admit to ugly things so 1) he can feel superior, and 2) he can feel like a victim.
[...] “We won’t be stopped,” Loki said. “And if we are, it will be because someone wants to buy our services. That’s easy enough to make them forget. No one here has any idea I can do magic. We stick to the main paths until we get to the airfield.”
“And then what?” Thor asked. “Have you seen the wall around it?”
“No,” Loki admitted.
“It’s a pretty serious wall.”
Loki raised an eyebrow. “I’m a pretty serious sorcerer.”
Loki has already assumed Thor is going to dismiss his ability to get them out of the situation. He’s totally geared up for an argument here.
Thor looked at him. Loki stared back, wondering if Thor would discount the fact that magic could get them out of this. There was a long history between them of Thor dismissing Loki’s sorcery. It was a talent he couldn’t understand, didn’t share, and which he saw as suspect. At least, he always had in the past. 
Hm, but is this really true? This is Unreliable Narrator Loki at his finest. He’s telling us that Thor was always this way. Loki has been really hurt by what he perceives as Thor’s dismissal of his magic. If you asked Thor, though, he’d probably tell you the opposite story. The actual truth is somewhere in between. This is an example of the two of them not understanding how to communicate with each other.
Things had changed between them after Sakaar. Maybe this had, too.
Thor nodded. “Alright.”
Loki’s mouth opened to argue, but then he realized what Thor had said and he snapped it shut. A smile flashed across Thor’s face, as though he knew exactly what had just gone through Loki’s mind. 
All set to argue, and then nothing to argue with! Thor is definitely trying harder to be what Loki needs him to be, and you can see that here.
I trust you, brother, Thor had said to him before he’d manually calculated the jump that had brought their ship to Asgard. Maybe he’d meant it.
Callback to chapter 1 of the fic, where their navigation system is down and Loki manually calculates a jump on the back of a Big Mac wrapper.
With a nod in return, Loki lifted a hand and twisted his wrist. This was unnecessary, but he’d begun doing it as a courtesy to the people around him in Asgard who hadn’t liked his magic. 
I really love this particular head canon, where Loki’s magic doesn’t require any kind of gesture, spoken spell, etc. It’s a fun thing to play with, because it means he can be as showy as he wants to—but he doesn’t have to be.
[...] A green line of magic ran from Thor’s head to his feet, leaving a woman standing there in his place. Loki completed his own transformation and then said quietly, “Let’s go.”
I purposefully didn’t describe Thor here because Loki hardly thinks about Thor’s physical appearance at all. Loki’s descriptions of people’s physical descriptions tend to be very cursory. Hair color, skin color, height. He’s simply not all that interested.
So what that means is: if Loki is taking more interest in someone’s physical appearance, it might be because he’s interested in them.
The two of them peeked out of the tent. A few of Thor’s cohorts were still around the campfire. [...] Loki jerked her head and they slipped out, walked past the fire, and headed for the camp’s main thoroughfare.
“I should have said good-bye,” Thor said quietly.
Loki shrugged. “Send them a postcard.”
Definitely a little projection (?) here on Loki’s part. He too feels guilty about abandoning his unit, but it takes him ages to come to terms with it. He hasn’t even started to confront the fact that Kalmsh will likely get in trouble, maybe even serious trouble. A little sneak peek of what’s to come: this is something that Loki begins to really grapple with, that despite his penchant for casting himself in the victim role, there have been people in his life who have been willing to put themselves on the line for him, often in very serious ways. He’s way too self-absorbed at this point to recognize that.
She knew it was ridiculous, but it bothered her that Thor had given even this slightest of indications that he had formed attachments to these people. Of course he had. He was Thor. Even Loki felt some affection for her unit. It wasn’t as though Thor wanted to stay here fighting with them.
At least, she didn’t think he did.
A brief comment her on the way I write Loki in female form: I usually write these scenes using male pronouns to make sure I’m not writing female Loki any different than I would write male Loki. Then I go back through and switch them. 
But then again, Thor had preferred to stay imprisoned as a gladiator on Sakaar rather than joining Loki at the Grandmaster’s side. As much as she wished these wounds would heal, they were slow to. It had been almost seven years ago for Thor, 
Hey, I’m glad I got the timespan right here! In chapter 32, I had it wrong and didn’t catch it until right before I posted, haha.
but even if it hadn’t, Thor had always had a tendency to underestimate how his actions and words wounded Loki. He let things go so easily and Loki was the opposite. [...]
This is one of the things that’s at the heart of the House of Odin dynamic. I see both Thor and Odin being this way. They’re passionate people who speak before they think, so they’ll say these deeply hurtful, horrible things...which they don’t actually believe. And Thor and Odin can’t understand why Loki takes things so personally, why he can’t just let them go, while Loki can’t understand how they can be so cruel, and why they pretend to care about him when clearly they don’t, because one time they said this one thing and that obviously is more indicative of how they feel about him then the way they treat him on a daily basis. Full disclosure, I’m very much like Loki, lol. Neither one is right or good, but it’s the way they are, and they’re two very different ways of functioning.
This obviously wasn’t the time to bring it up, though.
“You do want to leave this place, don’t you?” Loki asked.
*rimshot*
Thor looked at her. Gods, even as a woman, that dumbfounded look was unmistakable. “You’re joking.”
“Well, you seem so broken up about the fact that you left without saying good-bye,” Loki said, sneering despite her best efforts.
There is always time for Loki to get bent out of shape for people not giving him the affection he wants. This is wildly inappropriate of Loki to do at this moment, but he just can’t stop himself. He’s so needy that he’ll jeopardize their escape to take his potshot at Thor. I remember when I wrote this, I nearly took it out, because I thought Loki was being such an ass—but Loki is an ass, and I really want to show that. I want to show how warped his perception of reality can be, and how he’ll make really bad decisions because of it.
Two Preccat men walked by them, leering, but Loki ignored them and so did Thor. The men looked disgruntled but let them pass. When they were gone, Thor turned to her and hissed, “Of course I want to leave here, don’t be stupid. Why are you bringing this up now? We’re supposed to be concentrating on getting out of here.”
Thor, the voice of...reason? A major part of Thor’s arc in this fic is actually that he’s kind of a doormat because he’s so grateful to have Loki back, and that obviously can’t hold forever. He’s kind of fighting with himself here, wanting to make Loki have a conversation that Loki’s definitely not ready to have, and which frankly Thor isn’t ready to either. Thor wants to be better for Loki because he knows he’s hurt him, but Loki also is pretty much as impossible as ever.
She scowled but didn’t say anything. Thor grabbed her arm and stopped her. Loki yanked her arm out of her brother’s hold. They glared at each other, but then a group of men came stumbling down the road towards them, obviously drunk. It snapped both of them out of it. “Let’s go,” Loki muttered.
Aaaand of course they don’t have a real conversation. Huh sure hope all this stonewalling and sweeping things under the rug doesn’t result in an explosive, hurtful, horrible argument later!
Thank you so much for asking!
Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut
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alirhi · 3 years ago
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I don't know why I'm even still posting these here...
Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 23/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable.
The best thing the Avengers did was not force Loki and Bucky to sit through yet another 'are you sure? No, like, really, totally sure?' debate when they brought Fury up to speed. At Thor's request, Loki pinned Fury in place and dug through his mind. Once he was satisfied that the squawking, agitated spy really had nothing to do with HYDRA, he nodded to the others and walked away.
"Okay, what did I miss? I don't remember approving the addition of a mass murderer to the Avengers."
"I'm definitely not on Team Loki, but just for the sake of accuracy – I'm pretty sure at least half the members of this team you did put together have racked up a higher body count. Each."
Loki smiled to himself, but didn't pause to listen to the rest of the argument he knew was starting. The Avengers didn't trust him, not yet, but Thor and Bucky did, and Rogers trusted Bucky while the others more or less trusted Thor. The truce among them was tenuous at best, but at least they were willing to try. Disinterested in their politics, he returned to the suite Stark had somewhat grudgingly provided him and his beloved with until things could be sorted out.
"Can he be trusted?"
"No," Loki answered simply as he sank into Bucky's lap and kissed him. "But he didn't know about HYDRA, and he's willing to stand against them."
Bucky smiled, combing his fingers through the other man's long hair. "Good start, I guess. 'The enemy of my enemy' and all that..."
"So much debate and bureaucracy," he lamented, rolling his eyes. "I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I just tracked the things down myself and brought them back."
"It would certainly be faster," Bucky admitted with a shrug, "but I dunno about better. I know they're all 'just humans' but I still don't love the idea of you poofing into enemy territory with no backup."
Loki grinned, trying not to laugh. "'Poofing'?"
"'Teleporting' has twice as many syllables and I'm lazy. Deal with it." His ageless soldier grinned as well, but it was short-lived. "They're bound to have those things under heavy guard, aren't they? I'd really rather you have a team at your back if you're gonna go after them."
Opting not to tell his mostly-heterosexual love what a 'pouf' was, Loki let the joke die and shook his head, focusing on the matter at hand. "Do you really think they'll bring either of us along when they finally reach something akin to consensus on what to do?"
A playful grin that reminded him so much of their time together in the 40s lit up Bucky's pretty face. "I think watching them try to stop us will be funny as hell."
Loki chuckled and the two settled into a companionable silence for a while, each lost in his own private thoughts. He just barely felt Bucky tracing little invisible patterns up and down his arm and, with a smile, changed from the suit he'd been wearing into a tee shirt. Something about just being able to feel Bucky's skin brushing against his own was so comforting. They'd had so little time since Siberia to simply be together like this; to reconnect and get to know one another again. They weren't the same men who had fallen into an unexpected, all-consuming whirlwind romance nearly seventy years earlier. When the dust settled, would the connection they'd formed before all this upheaval still be there?
"Do you feel trapped?"
The soldier's voice was so soft and timid, Loki almost thought he'd imagined it, but the briefest glance at his handsome face dispelled that notion. He smirked, shaking his head. "No, Stark can't keep me here. I'm sure by now he knows that. Why, do you?"
Bucky shook his head, still looking troubled. "That's not what I meant. It just occurred to me... I just remembered when you told me you could shapeshift; turn into a woman, if you wanted, among other things. I guess I thought I was being romantic, or whatever... I definitely thought I was being kind..."
"I sometimes did, then," he explained softly as he caught on to what his love was having so much trouble putting into words. "But it wasn't because of you. It was kind of you to say what you did-" With a half-hearted smile, he nudged him, pleased to receive a slightly less strained smile in return. "-And quite romantic. With all that you were struggling with, to have you brush off the offer of something akin to normalcy and say you loved me regardless very nearly brought me to tears."
"Why did you feel trapped, if that wasn't it?"
Sighing, Loki dropped his head onto Bucky's shoulder and cuddled a bit closer. "Because of Odin, and Thor, and... everyone but Mother and Sigyn, really. What little respect I ever managed to pry from them vanished like smoke in the wind as soon as one of them saw my female form. Then I was back to being a joke; the pitiful clown who would never be a 'real man.' Certainly never a warrior."
"So Sigyn has seen that side of you?" He could hear the teasing smile in Bucky's voice, and relief eased the tension in his muscles that he hadn't until then been aware of.
Answering his tone rather than his words, Loki drawled, "Yes, you juvenile pervert, we've made love while I was in my female form, as well."
"I thought you swore you'd never read my mind."
He laughed and kissed Bucky's neck, loving the way it made the man beneath him shiver. "I didn't have to. I 'read' your tone."
Snorting, Bucky kissed his jaw. "Alright, fair enough. So... do you still feel trapped now?"
Loki shook his head. "Once I learned of my true heritage – well, once I had a moment to think and grasp what it meant – it sort of brought things into sharper focus for me. I stopped caring about earning the respect of a man who'd lied to me for my entire life, and it occurred to me, at last... I don't think it ever had anything to do with whether I'm a man or a woman, not for Odin, at least. I'm Jotun; he decided long before I was born that my entire race is the enemy. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for him."
"Then why did he adopt you in the first place?"
"To one day have a Jotun King with Asgardian values." He sat up to look Bucky in the eye, and melted a little at the horror and empathetic pain he saw there. "He drove the Jotuns back, kept them trapped in their own realm, but he couldn't make Laufey bow to him. Even defeated, my father refused to submit to Asgardian rule. Odin claimed he planned to use me to 'forge a lasting peace,' which really only means to raise me to hate everything about my own people and see the nine realms through Aesir eyes, and then place me on the throne. A pawn wearing a worthless crown."
With a tired, wry grin, Loki added, "The problem is, of course, I'm still not Aesir. I don't see things the way Odin does and never have; not overall, at least. I don't...really know what to think or how to feel about Jotunheim now."
"Let's start with keeping Thanos from destroying it, so you can take some time to figure that out." Tears in those breathtaking blue eyes, Bucky threw his arms around him and hugged him tight enough that had Loki been human, he'd likely have broken several ribs. Being one of the few living things on the planet stronger than his lover, Loki took great care not to hurt him as he squeezed back, smiling.
___________________________________________________ Next
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theatrelove3000 · 4 years ago
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No Place Like Home
Hello, Friends! My brain is fried so there is no introduction like there normally is. I honestly doubt anyone reads them anyway. Whatever. ONWARD!
Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vice versa. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts. Noelle is also Half Asgardian, half Midgardian. Her father is Tyr and her mother is of Midgard. Loki enchanted her wedding ring so that she can be immortal with him.
Summary: Noelle is kidnapped by Hydra while on a mission in Europe and help captive in an unknown base somewhere in the country. Loki needs to find her before the worst can happen.
Warnings: Kidnapping, swearing, suggestions of attempted rape, creepy Hydra guys being gross, slight angst with a fluffy end.
No Place Like Home
Noelle PoV:
Well.
I am not sure how to describe my situation in any other way than this: I'm fucked.
It was supposed to be a routine mission. We were supposed to be in and out, no big deal. That is no longer the case.
Nope. The current situation is much more dire than such things as "routine" and "easy in-and-out". The situation is now me, gagged, bound, and surrounded by the darkness of the van that the Hydra agents had thrown me into. So I repeat. I am fucked. But then again...
So are they.
If there is one thing I know, it's the power my husband holds within himself. A power that does nothing but grow, especially when I am in danger.
They have created a cuff to cut off my magic and tied my hands behind me so I couldn't use my knives or gun. It's not ideal but I've been through worse. The only thing I'm afraid of now is who will control these men from putting their hands on me. I can't defend myself with my hands tied and magic quelled.
I soon get my answer as the van comes to a stop. I'm hauled out by the two guys who sat in the back with me. They seem to be expecting me to kick and scream, thinking they will have to drag or even carry me into the concrete structure we are about to enter. They are wrong. I keep my emotions in check. I stay cool and collected and let them walk me to the elevator.
The bigger of the two men, who I have decided looks like a Chuck, jabs his finger into the button of the floor number we need to get to. -5. Noted.
When the elevator doors open again, I am faced with a small grey room with a metal chair in the middle, a small cot in the right hand corner of the far wall, and one small light that dangles from the ceiling.
Chuck and his buddy Frankie sit me in the chair and take the gag out of my mouth. The first thing I do is make eye contact with Frankie and give him a small smile. He is clearly unsettled by my calmness and looks extremely guarded as he unties my hands and cuffs me to the chair. I let them do their job and nod my head at Chuck, who looks equally unnerved by me. Yay!
They both walk backwards to the elevator and keep their eyes on me until the doors shut once again. I keep my smile on until they are gone. Now that they left and my eyes have adjusted to the dim room, I can scope it out.
There must be hidden cameras. I can get a general sense of where based on the discolouration of the concrete. They were recently installed. This is a new base. We may not have record of it yet.
Shit. Okay, plan B. If I let the wall between Loki and myself down, he could follow the pull and find me. But that could take days. I hope that by the Fates that the tracker we have installed into our suits is still working.
I'm still thinking through my game plan when the doors open again. I look up to see a very... boring? I think that's a good word, yes. A boring man walks through the door.
"Lady Noelle." I hear the accented voice say. I unintentionally tense up. He addressed me as "Lady Noelle." No one calls me that except the Asgardians and they haven't called me "Lady" anything since my marriage to their Prince. They say "Princess" now. This man isn't of Asgard.
"Oh, not to worry, my dear Lady. You are... well, I cannot say safe but you will not be harmed if you cooperate." He walks into the light, circling me. I relax my body, with some effort, and try to appear calm.
"Forgive me, sir, but you seem to know my name, yet I don't know yours."
He chuckles. "You think me a fool?" He asks, stopping his pacing in front of me. I can see it relatively well. He looks like the basic Hydra douche in the stupid uniform and such things, but there is something about his eyes. I can't understand it but it's more frightening than I let on.
"I am not going to just give you information on myself. I suppose you think I am going to just surrender my plan to you as well?" He steps forward, resting his hands on the cuffs holding mine to the chair, and leaning in a bit.
I force a calm smile and tilt my head slightly. "Of course not. That would be ridiculous. Though, you did just tell me you are a head officer in this joint, if not the mastermind. I'll know your name sooner or later. I'd prefer sooner if you don't mind." I cock an eyebrow at him. "Build a rapport and all that jazz?"
He chuckles again and stands straight. "It appears you would be right. My men will call my name eventually and then you will know. My name is Leon Becker. I am, in fact, the leader of this base and this mission. And you, my dear, are my guest." He smiles coldly.
"Do you normally strap your guests to chairs?"
"If they are Avengers, yes."
"Ah. So you are afraid I will hurt you. Okay, no big. I totally understand." I nod in faux agreement. "Makes sense to keep a woman with no weapons and stripped of her powers locked up."
"I am not stupid, woman." He growls at me. "Your reverse psychology will not work on me. You were trained in Asgard as a warrior and then in the Avengers compound by super soldiers and highly trained assassins. I know you can beat me. You have otherworldly strength that you received from your father: an Asgardian." He begins pacing around me again.
My smile falters for a moment. How does he know about Tyr? I regain my composure. "So you know of my parentage. Well done! You did your homework." I snip sarcastically.
He smirks at me as he passes. "Your mother died of Osteosarcoma. Bone cancer. That's sad. What's it been now, three years? You laid beside her and sang to her until her last breath. Such a devoted daughter." He shakes his head. "Well, maybe not so devoted. You saw her, what, four times in the three years you lived in Asgard at that point?" I feel my throat start to close up. Momma. I do my best to hold it together. "Aw, my apologies, Lady Noelle. Did my talking of your mother upset you? Oh dear." Leon tsks. As he walks to the elevator, he says over his shoulder. "I suppose we can start in the morning. Rest well, Lady Darkness."
The doors shut behind him. As they do, the cuffs holding me to my chair release me. I take a deep breath. I will not cry. I refuse to give him the satisfaction. Making my way over to the cot, I rub my wrists absentmindedly as I break down the wall between Loki and myself.
'NOELLE!' He shouts into my mind. I wince. 'Where are you? Are you hurt? I will kill them. Do you have a location?'
'Loki, honey. I'm very tired. One question at a time.'
I feel him take a deep breath. 'Are you injured in any way? Have they touched you?'
'No to both questions. I'm not hurt and most of them are frightened of me.'
He smiles at that but it quickly falls. 'What's your location?'
'I don't know. I was in the back of a van, it was dark.'
I feel his emotions shift from anger to distress. 'I can use our... What did you call it? The link that helps us find each other?'
'Built in GPS. And you can try but I think it will be too far. We were driving for a while.'
He scowls, 'I meant what I said. When I find you, I will slaughter them all. They put their hands on my wife. I will be sure to put every last one in their graves.'
'I love you for that but really, please focus on finding me and getting me home.'
'You cannot teleport. I can't get you here either. I've been trying for hours. Why is that?'
'Well, they are getting smarter. They have found a way to create a cuff that cuts off my magic. The only reason we can communicate is because we are bound. They must not know about that.'
There is silence for a moment. 'What do they know?' He asks in a small voice.
I sigh. 'Too much.'
He nods but doesn't press the matter. He knows I will tell him eventually.
~~~~~Le Time Skip cuz I'm lazy~~~~~
I have no idea what time it is or how long I've been here. I only sleep in intervals and I'm not even sure how long they are. They can't be very long. I'm exhausted.
'You sleep in one hour intervals about 4 times a day.' I sigh. He isn't sleeping. 'Can you blame me, Noelle? You are in captivity and I do not know where you are. I am working on finding you and I will not rest until I do so.'
'I love you for it but you can't keep doing this. You're going to burn yourself out.'
'You are not the first to mention that.' He grumbles. 'Thor is saying the same. Agent Romanoff as well.'
'They're right. Listen to them. I'm alright. She is pretty smart so you should listen.'
He laughs, 'She? Only she?'
I smile, 'Thor thinks with his heart. He is thinking of you because he loves you and wants to keep you safe. Natasha thinks with her brain. She needs you to keep your wits about you and she is right.'
'I-' he is interrupted by the elevator doors opening. Frankie and Chuck step through. One is holding a tray of food, like every day, and the other holds a case file. That's new. So are the looks on their faces.
Damn it.
'I love you.' I whisper in my mind. 'Please forgive me.' Before he can respond, I put up the wall in our minds. He can't hear or feel me now.
"Breakfast for you, Lady Darkness."
I smile and say, "Thank you, Chuck." I sit up and take the tray.
"Again, that is not my name."
"Yeah, well, that's what I'm gonna call you.  You realize that my best friend is the greatest nickname maker of all time?"
Chuck scowls and Frankie crosses his arms.
"You should really hold your tongue. You cannot beat us both at once without your powers." Frankie tells me. He runs his fingertips over my knee. I immediately jerk away from him. He laughs. It's a sickening laugh. I've always been outspoken and strong about things like that but he is right. I couldn't stop them both.
"The loud-mouthed Princess is speechless. Probably for the better. I would be afraid if I was such a small girl as well."
I feel a burst of heat pass through me. Whether it was bravery or stupidity, I let it control me. "Wait a minute, Frankie. You're telling me you're not a girl? Wow. Could have had me fooled."
His face turns red. "You little bitch." He growls menacingly.
"You know, I was actually pretty proud of you for a minute. A female soldier protecting a... what did you call me? 'Loud-mouth princess'? Pretty cool. But know that I know you're a guy, meh."
"Shut your mouth." Snaps Chuck before turning to his little buddy, "She is trying to provoke you. We can take her easily. Don't do anything stupid."
"You too! You think you're big tough men? You follow a coward who hides behind his pride. You do his bidding like dogs." I stand up and start summoning my strength. "That's what you are. Not men. Not women. Dogs. You are disposable and worthless to him. You mean no more to him than a-" WHACK.
Frankie slaps me hard across the face. I stumble back and hit the chair. As I stand and start towards him, the doors open and Leon stands there with another few guards. They grab hold of me and strap me to the chair again as Frankie and Chuck board the elevator.
"That was unwise, Lady Noelle." Leon says calmly. I blink away the tears that pooled from the sting.
"Never said I was wise." I mutter. I take a deep breath and straighten my back, crossing my ankles. "It was a sudden moment of weakness you will not have the pleasure of witnessing again." I raise my chin, remembering what Loki showed me when we sat on the throne while Thor was away.
"Your bravery never ceases to amaze me, my dear. The beauty and power you possess to be strapped to a pathetic chair and still sit as though it is a throne is truly remarkable."
"I learned from a king."
This comment shakes him for a moment. He walks towards me and leans his face closer to mine. "Those fools do not deserve such a pleasure you could provide." He breathes me in. I suppress a shudder.
"And you think you do? Interesting."
"I deserve better than an alien's whore," he snarls before standing straight. "But I would settle for you."
I feel my lungs grow tight. "Not to worry, Lady Noelle. I will not touch you until your husband is dead."
I laugh, though there is no humour in it. "You will be waiting for a very long time, I'm afraid. Loki is immortal."
"Ah, but that is not true, is it? They can be killed." Leon cocks an eyebrow.
"Well if that is your master plan, I suggest you pray to whatever God you believe in, Mr. Becker. My husband is not easy to kill."
~~~~~Le Time Skip II~~~~~
The next day, Leon decides that it is a splendid idea to have dinner with me. He makes idle conversation, I make an occasional sarcastic remark. He proves that the food wasn't poisoned by eating off of my plate himself. Even then I don't eat much.
"So, Lady Noelle. You grew up in New York, yes?"
I simply smile knowingly. He already knows.
"And your husband attacked New York in 2012?"
Another smile.
"It makes me wonder whether you agreed with those actions. Very curious." He puts a bite of salmon in his mouth.
"Not that I need to explain it to you, Mr. Becker, but if you must know, I was not in on Loki's attack on New York. At the time, he and I were not in contact. And for the record, he was brainwashed and being controlled by an evil being." I take a bite of rice, watching his reaction. "We later destroyed the being that tortured him for two whole years. Loki tore him limb from limb." I say casually.
He seems shocked (yay) but does his best to compose himself. "Your husband's past is very dark. And his cruelty is shocking."
"Hmm." I hum absently, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Though I should tell you to prepare yourself because what he did to Thanos is nothing compared to what he will do to you."
Leon's eyes grow wide. He takes a breath and pushes a button. He stands as Frankie and Chuck come in and move the table and the chair Leon was in away. As the three if them walk back towards the elevator, I decide to take a small parting shot.
"A normal man can do the impossible to save the woman he loves, Leon." I call to his retreating form. "My husband is no ordinary man." Before the elevator doors close, I say, "He is a God."
I feel Loki laughing in my mind.
'Good show, darling.' He says.
'Thank you, thank you. Have you found me yet?'
'Just a bit longer, love. I will find you. We will find you soon.' I nod as I lay on my cot.
'I love you.' I tell him.
'I love you more.' He replies.
'I love you most.' I say as I shut my eyes, willing my body to sleep.
~~~~~Le Time Skip III~~~~~
I am awoken by banging and screams coming from above me. And then I feel it.
Loki is here.
I sit up and try to speak to him in my mind. He doesn't respond quickly and I can feel his adrenaline coursing through him in the fight.
After a few minutes, I hear him calling me.
"LEVEL -5! LOKI!"
Its not long before he finds me and wraps me up tight. "I've got you." He says. "I've found her." He says, louder this time, and not to me. He is telling the team.
"You are practically frozen, my dove." He says, kissing my forehead. I nuzzle my way deeper into his chest. He takes off his thick, green cape and tugs it around my shoulders. He kisses my head again before taking my hand in his and leading the way back to the stupid elevator.
"Loki." I whisper once we are in.
"Noelle?" He responds. I hold out the wrist the anti-magic cuff is on. He takes the hint and takes it off. Immediately after, I feel a surge of power running through my body. The sensation is so strong that I almost crumble. Loki catches me and holds me up. We reach the top floor soon after that where a helicarrier is waiting for us.
Loki gets me settled in my seat before trying to leave again, presumably to kill every Hydra agent in sight. I take his hand quickly and tug him back to me. He looks at me questioningly and kisses my knuckles.
"Please, don't leave me. Let the others get to Leon."
He clearly doesn't like it but agrees to stay. "Do you have an earpiece? I want to talk to Tony."
He hesitates for a moment before standing up to go get me an earpiece. He hands it to me when he returns and I stick it in my ear quickly.
"Tony." I say.
"Good to have you back, Elle. You alright?" Tony says, cool as ever.
"I'm alright. Listen, the leader's name is Leon Becker. He has the most decorated uniform, well-kept brown hair, a lame ass mustache that looks exactly how you imagine it will, and dark dark brown eyes. Keep him alive. We should question him."
I hear Tony sigh. He agrees but he doesn't want to. Neither does Loki, as I gather from the growl. "Fine. I'll find him and put him in the cargo hold with Nat and Clint."
"Cool. I'm going to rest a bit. And Tony? Thank you. For saving me I mean. Thank you to everyone."
"We got you, Elle. Now go cuddle your man." I hear Nat's voice and smile. I take out the earpiece and put it aside.
"Cuddles?" Loki asks, opening his arms. I need no further invitation. I climb into his lap and bury my face in his neck. I breathe him in and, for the first time in days, let my body feel. I start to cry, not because I'm sad or hurt, but because I'm safe. And happy to be where I am.
My home is in the lap of the love of my life, his arms around me and mine around him, my face buried in his neck. And there's no place like home.
@thelokiimaginechronicles @just-the-hiddles @is-it-madness @frostbitten-written @poetic-fiasco @myoxisbroken @myraiswack @lehuka123 @head-over-heart
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themissingmarvel · 5 years ago
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Kind Regards, Detective [Part 3]
(I am /so sorry/ it got this long. I lost track of it. I had enough for two chapters if I added a bit more but I figured one giant one wouldn’t be bad. I just got too into it. I’ll set an alarm next time for ‘hamburger’ and follow time management skills of the protagonist. And for the record... this is the story of Y/N, not Detective Loki. Which I like. Sure, they’re paired up but... it’a a story. And maybe something more happens. Guess you have to read.)
Catch up: [[Part 1]]// [[Part 2]]// [[drabble]]
Pairing: Detective Loki x fbi!Reader
Word Count: 4.1k {{I AM SO SORRY}}
Warnings: Language, description of violence {{assume that’s a given}}
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Sleep wasn’t something that had ever come easy to Y/N. No, she had spent her time in undergrad preparing for graduate school, graduate school preparing for her application to the FBI. Time training at the FBI training to become a profiling agent. Once, when awake at 2 in the morning, sitting on the couch, her ex-boyfriend had asked her to come to bed. She had spoken without even looking up, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
She wasn’t kidding.
They broke up shortly after.
It was arguably harder to sleep now because her brain was always processing information. It was hard to make sense of something so seemingly senseless. And now she had a pile of information that didn’t even add up. More frustrating was having to wait for the lab reports to come back and for forensics to identify everything and tag it. She supposed evidence would come to light in the morning.
Her room in the Holiday Inn was hardly spectacular, to say the least, but it was fine. It had a queen sized bed, a large desk for her to sprawl her things out on, and a place to put her suitcase with the exact amount of clothing she’d need, plus an extra set just in case. Once upon a time she had been the person to travel with seven bags and joke “you never know!” but those days had passed. She had learned that carrying essentials, and sometimes even less, was the way you lived. It made her yearn for that oversized blue hoodie she had stolen from some ex-boyfriend (maybe that asshole who told her to come to bed) that was sentimental only because she wanted it to be. And that thing was durable as hell.
She had slept like a rock that night, for the first time in ages, which was unsettling when she finally did wake up. It didn’t mean her brain hadn’t processed the information, though. Her process meant that when she did wake up, after her shower and getting dressed in clothes too casual for an FBI agent, that she’d come up with new thoughts. New concerns. New ideas.
By the time Y/N rolled into the precinct, it was still only 7:30am. She had a cup of coffee in her hands that she’d scored from the sad and emotionally draining continental breakfast offered by the hospitable Holiday Inn. But food was food and all she’d really wanted was that bagel and a hard boiled egg. Now she had consumed at least two cups with the third in a travel tumbler she brought with her. Her office one, the black one that said nothing but had a small crack at the top was nestled safely in her cabinet at home. That small apartment with a weird amount of locks on it and a keypad she had. Just in case.
Placing her bag on the small table, she glanced to the side and saw Detective Loki at his desk, hunched over and looking at files. He had a powder blue shirt on this time, and looked cleaned up, meaning he’d at least been home, but she suspected he’d had significantly less sleep than her. Which made sense.
The note left at the front of the church had indeed been for him.
My deepest regards and thoughts for you on this anniversary. 
It had seemed to rattle the man initially, his eyes blinking almost non-stop. Twenty seconds and he composed himself. Twenty seconds and Y/N knew not to ask and she knew not to pry. His file had so much in it, but now was not the time. If it had been relevant to the case beyond wanting an emotional connection to David, he would have said so.
Laying out some files and opening her laptop, she stood as it booted up, walking over to Detective Loki and knocking softly on the table, “Morning, Detective,” she smiled cautiously, unsure of how to greet the man. He was still wary and they were still both digesting all of yesterday.
He looked up, hardly shaken, looking tired but nothing dramatic. He sat up and nodded, glancing at his computer to get a sense of the time. Raising an eyebrow, he turned back, “You’re here early.”
She grinned, “One to talk. Did you sleep much?” Normally she might have said it was small talk, though in this instance she found she truly cared. Shared trauma did that. Or maybe it was something else.
A soft, quick laugh left his lips and he stood, mostly to stretch himself out, “I slept. Any is better than none, right? Maybe I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he grinned at his own dark humor, gathering his things and walking towards the conference room, the young woman following behind, chalking it up to coincidence. Everyone said that.
He glanced at the papers on the table and her laptop loaded, “Any emails come through yet on the case?” Obviously the answer was no, because normal people rested at night and the lab worked on normal hours, but he liked to think that every once in a while, people stayed late and did their jobs the way he did.
Taking a breath she sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, signing in to the database remotely, “Nothing as of this morning. The lab spent the evening processing the materials, though. One benefit of Feds, right? We have people who work around the clock,” she smirked at him, David almost surprised that perhaps she had read his mind, too. Though in reality she was used to this. Small towns or even cities often backlogged, suddenly given resources they weren’t used to.
A small ‘ding’ went off from inside the bag, Y/N quick to fish around inside for it, “Do you just… not carry your things on you?” Detective Loki didn’t mean to sound condescending, though his tone certainly spoke that way. More than anything he was concerned. Why she didn’t have her weapon holstered on her person or even her phone in her pocket said there was a level of disconnect. And there was. She liked to process in her head and her phone took her away from that.
Ignoring the snide remark, she glanced at the text that had popped up, “Check your email, ladybug. Fast tracked some of that forensic work for you.”
Ding.
“No offense but does that precinct always work so slow? We never got the cell phones in with the belongings and even you have a cell phone.”
Glancing over at David who had taken a seat not so far away, she furrowed her brow with concern, “Forensics bagged up all the personal affects of the individuals at the scene, right? Like, all of it?”
David frowned, “I sure as fuck hope so. Is something missing?”
She began desperately clicking through the laptop, accessing the items retrieved from the scene, David standing, concerned and terrified, still seeing that note in his brain, reminding him of what he had tried so hard to forget. Placing a hand on the back of her chair and leaning in, perhaps inches from her face, able to smell the coffee on his breath and his face wash, whatever he used to keep himself so clean shaven. She could hear him breathing. It was eerily calm despite his clearly rattled demeanor. And him being so close? Hard to focus.
Squinting she scrolled through each individual’s information, frowning as she compared, “Shit. Shit!”
David was looking at the same documents, and he was realizing the same thing that she was. He supposed it might not have been so obvious so immediately, but he also wasn’t a profiler. This wasn’t what he did the way she did it.
Grabbing her phone she typed desperately into it, sending the message off to her coworker, Adrian, the one she’d had a crush on and had flirted with terribly. The one who had told her he was interested, but maybe not right now. The one who sent her flirty texts still and she knew he just liked the attention, but sometimes you couldn’t help who you liked. Even if that person was a total asshole.
Ding!
Damn he was fast.
“Who the hell doesn’t have backups on the cloud? So far these people are coming up empty, ladybug.”
Sometimes you fell for the asshole and sometimes the asshole fell for you.
Detective Loki had seen that text. It had made him tighten, for whatever reason. Maybe it was the information given or maybe that little nickname at the end. He didn’t know squat about this woman and so far he was finding that it wasn’t making him dislike her. He wanted so badly to have slept on it and realized she really wasn’t his type. But here she was, focused and on task, already making headway with evidence. She wore an attire so different than his own and she didn’t look like a Federal Agent the way he always had seen them. She didn’t wear that stupid-ass jacket they all had, or that dumb fucking cap. She looked like she belonged in a coffee shop somewhere reading a book and staying quiet. But it bothered the hell out of him that she didn’t keep her weapon holstered or her badge on her.
“None of them had their cell phones. And we didn’t find them at the abduction sites. We assumed they were dumped for safety reasons, but from what Adrian is telling me, they didn’t even have backup information. We literally have no digital information on them,” she frowned, turning to look at David.
He paused for a moment, so close to her, able to smell the shampoo she had used, the lightly floral fragrance, the look of concern in her eyes. He could see everything.
Stepping back suddenly he rubbed his hands over his face, “All right. So let’s look at this. Phones get dumped for a ton of reasons, right? And maybe they just… all didn’t back up their phones.”
Y/N shook her head and frowned, as she typed back a response before tucking the phone away, “The GPS and locators on the phones were all deactivated, or else the lab would have coordinates for the phones. And why does someone not back up their phone?” She looked at him, already with the answer, though she needed him to say it. She needed him to understand what she was getting at.
“Everyone leaves some digital footprint. Can we find them online? Social media, maybe?” In that moment Y/N almost felt like giving him her signature ‘are you fucking with me?’ looks, though kept her poker face. He was a man living in a small town who had done small cases, for the most part. He didn’t know the ins and outs the way she did. He hadn’t been trained as she had.
So instead she looked at her computer, “I can do some searching myself, but for the real stuff… for what we’re really looking for… we need someone with experience.”
For a moment she thought briefly of her own team. Of course there was a group she worked with, but ultimately there was no ‘Penelope Garcia’ on her team, or a quirky tech nerd. There were expert analysts who could pull data and indeed find footprints. Honestly they were probably already doing that. But she had that feeling again… that gut wrenching pain.
Staring at the monitor for longer than felt comfortable, she sighed heavily, “I don’t like this, Detective. It’s wrong. I feel like we’re watching the lights flicker before the power goes out. I don’t even think this is the worst of it.”
Admittedly, she had been wrong in the beginning. But being wrong meant she was learning more about this person, and she didn’t like that. She never liked being in the head of a criminal, but of a sociopath… that was scary. Sleep wouldn’t be coming again any time soon, that much she knew.
As if overtaken, Y/N lept from her chair, almost knocking the damn plastic piece of garbage over as she stood and began practically tearing through the files. David looked at her, both confused and angry, though unsure why he was angry, “What are you doing?”
Her eyes were wide, though, and she was focused. In that moment it was all she could think about, all she could see, all she could-
“Here! It’s here!” She pulled out a statement by one of the victim’s spouses. Louise Frank, 43, nurse at the local hospital in Noxen. Putting the paper down she pointed, Loki now shoulder-to-shoulder with her, eyes locked as she pointed out the sentence, “Her husband stated he was having trouble getting in touch with her, which makes sense, but said he thought it was just something to do with her new phone. Detective, what if her husband still has the other phone? He said the screen was shattered but if we can get it, we can check the old phone.”
Adrenaline was pumping through her body, wanting in that moment to wrap her arms around his neck as she realized the opportunity they had. But instead she kept those Y/E/C eyes wide and excited, excited in a way she didn’t like to admit but in a way that David knew meant they had something to go off of.
“Let me get my keys, we’re driving to Noxen,” he looked stoic, though his breathing had increased, his own adrenaline pumping as he adjusted the collar of his shirt.
Looking at him with confusion she shook her head, “That’s two-hour drive, Detective. Shouldn’t we call them first?”
He was opening the door and headed to his desk as he spoke, “David. And I couldn’t give a fuck how long that drive is, we need that phone.”
___
David.
They had gotten into his car in a bit of a hurry, though Y/N was quite proud of remembering to bring her phone and her badge, both tucked into her jacket. Well, her badge was. Her phone was in hand as she called Noxen Police and had them email her the name and address of the husband. She had gone so far as to call the husband as well, warning him they were coming, and politely, kindly, sweetly, asked if he knew where the phone was.
He did. He had it.
Hanging up, she tucked the phone away, “Mr. Frank said he’ll have it out for us.” David barely nodded, instead gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles almost white as he kept himself from going seventy in a fifty. This was a lead, he knew. It was a lead they’d be able to solidly point at and hold up in the air and shout, “here!”
And he was not about to jeopardize that by having some idiot mail it over or some rookie cop drive it and drop it again. Or lose it entirely. He didn’t trust anyone except for the two people in the car.
“I dated a guy once with knuckle tattoos,” she spoke calmly, looking out the window at the barren trees and quiet grey day.
Loki was shaken from his trance and looked over, his face washed with confusion, “What?”
Y/N turned to face him, “I dated a guy once with knuckle tattoos. Like you,” she gestured to his hands, partially to let him know she noticed how tightly he was gripping the wheel.
He let go slightly.
Raising an eyebrow he turned back to the road, his posture relaxing, “Oh,” he said flatly.
She kept her face stoic, “Don’t you want to know what it said?”
David glanced back again, confused though now oddly engaged, “What did it say?”
She got quiet, “It said ‘gullible’ on one hand.”
His face contorted for a second as he considered this, “That doesn’t- goddamnit,” he felt himself smiling as he looked over, watching the woman in the passenger seat smiling as well, her form relaxed as she chuckled. David did too.
“How often do people give you shit about your tattoos?” She kept her smile but softened her tone, deciding she didn’t like the idea that the rest of the car ride would be silent. She wanted to know David more than just as a man in a file. She wanted to understand what went on in his head.
Taking a breath, he considered the question. His internal monologue was often just that, internal, but he found himself being asked questions that people didn’t often ask him. A joke that no one else would have ever made seeing him angry. This wasn’t just a woman, but chaos in a bottle, perhaps, “When I was in the academy, lots of people gave me shit. I was a bit older than some guys in there and I still had my temper,”
She grinned, “Oh, this is you calm?”
The corner of his lips curled up slightly, just slightly, “Anyway, I got into a couple fights. Off grounds, of course. But I talked to one of the sergeants in the academy and he sort of set me straight. Told me there would always be something and that if I wanted to be any kind of officer, any kind of detective, I needed to let those things go. So yeah, people ask, but I don’t get into it.”
Nodding, she folded her hands in her lap, leaning back, “Back when I was in college, freshman year, of course, I was determined to get a tattoo. I mean, straight up determined. I thought, ‘Hell yes, you’re an adult, get that fairy tattoo on your ribcage!’” She looked over at David who was already smirking, “Hey, shut it.” He held a hand up, staring ahead at the empty highway as they drove.
“But ultimately I didn’t. It changed. It was a butterfly on my ankle, then for a brief moment a rose on my wrist. By the time I decided I wanted to be in psych, and work with the FBI, I had talked myself out of a tattoo entirely. It’s funny, because people always say they regret the tattoos they got, but honestly? I regret the tattoos I didn’t get.” Her eyes turned back to the trees as they drove, remembering those rushes of adrenaline as she took out a few hundred in cash and stood outside some shop near her school. Always a different one. Always the same amount of money in hand. Always certain. Then always with a reason not to.
It had never occurred to David that someone might regret not getting a tattoo. Some of his he had gotten in some guy’s basement when he was fifteen. Some when he turned eighteen and nineteen. Some even when he was twenty-four. His neck and hands were his younger years. And for a moment he tried to picture a young Y/N with her shirt hiked up getting a tattoo on her ribs that she wouldn’t possibly imagine how painful it was. Or maybe she did. There was much about her he didn’t know.
Her phone dinged again, breaking the silence, pulling it out to read another text from Adrian, “Ladybug, you’re teasing me with all this exciting information. Update me on the case. Place isn’t the same without you here.”
Asshole.
Sighing, she frowned, eyeing the message, “Ladybug?” David had caught a glimpse of the message, and while he had tried not to pry he was somewhat curious. Was it a significant other? A friend? Something else?
Shutting the screen off, the young woman tucked her phone away again, “Coworker. Not a profiler but he’s a field agent with serials back in DC, where I’m out of. It’s a long standing joke, mostly born of me forgetting the word ‘bee’ and instead screaming ‘ladybug’ because clearly those two things look and sound the same,” she rolled her eyes at herself. It had been such a bad first week, so much so she’d stressed herself out that when a bee came near her, allergic of course, she had screamed instead ‘ladybug’, the first insect name she could think of.
David only nodded his head, and Y/N considered her own fondness for Adrian. She wished she didn’t like him. She wished she could listen when her own friends told her he was just using her for attention. But she knew that already. Didn’t matter. Not really. Emotions were always fickle that way, driving you to do stupid shit. It was why she was so good at her job, in that she understood what drove people, even when it didn’t make any logical sense.
The drive after was fairly quiet, though interjected with sparse conversation. Meaningful, but quick. Tidbits shared. Pieces. Shards. Bits of each other’s puzzle that they would later try and piece together to make sense, even though it never would. But she found out he had spent ten years in the boy’s home, sprinkled with some juvie time for petty crimes he rolled his eyes at himself for. And Y/N had let out her own experience coming face-to-face with one of the serials she’d caught. He didn’t know who she was. She knew who he was. Just by that look. The vacant look but one that was burning. An empty building on fire. Nothing inside. Nothing but the fire to drive him. It had terrified her. She still woke occasionally to those eyes, staring through her, passing her by on the street like dodging a bullet.
Getting the phone once they arrived in Noxen had been quick. The husband wanted less than nothing to do with the police and it was clear he had already spent time crying. David knew the look. Y/N did too. Grief stricken and angry. Nowhere to put it.
Giving the phone to David (who insisted he be the one to hold it) she sighed, shaking her head, “We have to plug it into my laptop at the precinct and use encryption. Whoever did this, all of this, is smarter than we’re giving him credit for. If he knows we have the phone, he’ll be all over this. We need to consider who this man is.”
A shiver ran up Detective Loki’s spine, looking at Y/N as they got into the car, “You’re saying this is a guy?”
She frowned, chewing at her bottom lip, “I didn’t want to think it was. I don’t think he was trying to trick us with the formal writing and the flowers. I think that’s just how his brain is wired. But I need to know, then, why he’s targeted you and the other detectives. And now… now you, David. He wants something from you.” Her eyes were filled with concern as she stared at him in the car, still turned off, cold.
He turned the car on without a word, beginning the drive back to Conyers. He was angry now. Not just at the situation, but at all of it. He had wanted to be grateful for the phone, for having someone like Y/N on the case who could figure this out, but he was angry at how he felt. He didn’t like being a target this way. He didn’t like that someone knew him. Knew the anniversary of the day his horrid mother dropped him off at the home and ran off. He didn’t like that this was so damn personal.
Dover and Birch was hard, but it was easy. He was fueled by the parents' focus. He was driven by the need to save a child. Children. He had wanted to do something good after so much time hiding in a town like Conyers. And now someone had hand-picked him, of all detectives in the world, for this.
Y/N wanted to tell Detective Loki she knew he was better than that. Than some psychopath who would stage a mass murder. She wanted to urge him to be cautious, though understood someone was poking the bear in a big way. Someone wanted him upset. On guard. Determined and angry. Someone wanted him emotionally involved. It wasn’t because they were getting back at him, though. She knew it was something else. But that was the big question.
((Tagging: @is-it-madness​ @escapingthoughtsandsecrets​ @encounterthepast​ @detecellie​ @breakawayfromeveryday​ ask to be added/taken off))
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lonelyandlovelorn · 5 years ago
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Loophole
A/N: This is so much longer than I meant for it to be.
Genre: fluff, a little angst, some nice insecurity
Warning: really mild language I think
Word count: 3000
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader
Summary: You’re a secretive person cursed to flirt with the person you’re attracted to. Thankfully, you're also good at finding loopholes. 
Masterlist
Tony was hosting an Avengers (and friends of Avengers) get together. You somehow always managed to forget just how many of them there were and how much presence they possessed until you were surrounded by super strong, powerful, intelligent, skilled people. You were all sitting around on couches or the floor, squeezed together and talking about whatever. As always, there was a lot of teasing and joking around. 
You were probably one of the more mysterious members of the extended Avengers. Nobody seemed to know anything about you aside from what was necessary to know. They knew nothing of your personal life. Were you single? Married, like Clint? Most of them weren’t even sure how old you were, and you liked it that way. You were a very private person. You didn’t like everyone knowing everything about you. 
All of the people sitting around the couches had been drinking through the evening. None of you were drunk (since some of you couldn’t be). A few of you, however, were on the tipsy side. When super people got drunk, things didn’t tend to end well. 
About an hour in to hanging out and chatting, Tony called for everyone to join him in a game of Truth or Dare. The group groaned in unison, but after a while of the patented Stark pestering, you all agreed. 
Questions were usually pretty tame, mostly asking personal questions they couldn’t ask otherwise. The dares were more creative. Sam was dared to fly his wing suit out the window and sing “I believe I can fly.” Bucky got dared to try to put his foot behind his head, which was a sight to behold. Tony was dared to walk around in Pepper’s tallest heels, and no one wanted to know why he was so good at it.
You weren’t a daring person, so you decided to play it safe with a truth. You weren’t that shocked when Tony loudly asked if you were single. With a sigh, you nodded and waited for them to move on. They would have to ask you every question they had as a turn. 
The next time it came around to you, they asked if you were attracted to anyone on the team. You gave a begrudging nod, but made sure to keep your eyes trained on Sam, who had asked the question. At this rate, you weren’t sure you could safely continue to choose truth. On your next turn, you chose dare, hoping for something to make you look silly rather than anything more revealing. 
“I dare you to… look at the person you’re attracted to in this room.” Sam thought he was being sneaky, but you simply swept your eyes around the circle of teammates. When he raised an eyebrow at you, unimpressed, you shrugged.
“You didn’t say I could only look at that person.” You took a sip of your drink and tried not to notice the smirk on Natasha’s lips. You had made an effort since the game began to avoid looking at her. She just looked so pretty that night. Her hair was curled and she had worn tight skinny jeans and a fitted top. 
Without you noticing, Loki leaned in to Clint sitting next to him, letting him know his plan. The two weren’t exactly friends, as Clint was still a little bitter with Loki. However, the two were kindred spirits, pranksters who liked to cause trouble. Clint grinned mischievously and leaned back, excited to put the plan in motion. 
On Loki’s next turn, he chose dare. Clint dared him to cast a spell on someone in the group. You had a bad feeling when both of the men looked in your direction. Loki smirked and waved his hand vaguely in your direction. You didn’t specifically feel anything different, but you knew you were in trouble when Loki explained. “For the next three days, Y/N will flirt with the person she most desires.” A frown appeared on your face as your mind worked through the loopholes. You could just not talk to her, but you knew that would be just as obvious as the flirting. That was when you figured out that you could do what you did for the last dare. It would be exhausting and you would hate it, but it was better than everyone knowing how you felt. After a moment, you forced a smirk on your face and looked back at Clint, winking in his direction. His eyebrows scrunched up for a second in total confusion and mild horror, before he figured out what you were doing and rolled his eyes. 
You spent the rest of the evening sending flirty smiles and bad pick-up lines to everyone in the group. It felt odd that it took no effort for the flirtations sent Natasha’s way, but you hoped that it wasn’t obvious. Considering no one had commented on it, you thought you were doing a pretty good job. You went to bed that night exhausted and dreading the next day.
***
You spent the entire next morning hiding in your room. The alcohol you consumed last night was the only reason you had been able to keep up the charade. Now that you were sober, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it all day. You locked the door, told FRIDAY to notify you if someone was outside, grabbed a book, and settled in for the day. You were almost thankful for this opportunity, no matter how unpleasant, if only for the chance to disappear for a while. You cared deeply for all of your teammates, but you only had so much energy to invest in socializing. Unfortunately, there were only three of them who didn’t seem to drain you at all, and you were avoiding one of them today so that wasn’t an option. 
Only once did someone try to bother you, and it was just Steve offering you lunch. You smiled gratefully at him and gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek, not wanting to say anything. He seemed to understand and handed you the plate he had brought with him. He also extended the offer of talking if you needed him. You smiled at him and nodded before closing the door as he walked away. Steve was a bit of a mother hen, and you could tell that no matter how curious he was, he disapproved of this method Clint and Loki used to learn more about your personal life. 
The rest of the afternoon, you spent reading. It had been so long since you had spent a day like this, and you forgot how much you enjoyed it. 
By the time evening rolled around, you knew you couldn’t hide out the whole day. Just to be safe, you made sure to ask Friday who was in the kitchen for dinner. You were relieved to hear that it was just Steve, Bucky, Wanda, and Vision. You set your book aside and headed towards the shared kitchen area. You decided on your way that you trusted them enough not to tell Clint or Loki (or anyone else) if you didn’t keep up the charade. 
Walking into the kitchen you smiled at them and gave a gentle hello. They all waved at you, though Bucky glanced at you in mild confusion. “I’m not attracted to any of you and I’m too tired to keep up the flirting, since I trust you guys not to use it against me.” They all nodded in understanding and sat down around the table, Wanda grabbing a place setting for you. After that, you all had a normal dinner, joking and talking like any other day. 
The only hiccup of the evening occurred when Natasha walked into the kitchen for a snack. On instinct, you closed your mouth so you couldn’t say anything incriminating. The only one who seemed to notice was Wanda. While you were grateful it was only her, you cursed yourself for being so obvious. Of course she didn’t call you out for it, but her eyes widened slightly. She knew that you wouldn’t hold your tongue out of distrust of the assassin, so there was only one other conclusion to make. Natasha was quickly in and out of the room, none of the boys even breaking conversation to acknowledge that anything had happened. You quietly excused yourself from dinner after that, brought back down from the high of carelessness with the reminder of why you couldn’t be. 
You returned to your room and sat down on your bed. You just wanted a moment to think. You were tired of trying so hard to hide things, but you also knew you didn’t have a shot. She was one of the most beautiful women in the world, coveted and completely aware. To top it all off, there was no indication that she would be interested to another woman. Quite the contrary, she had given every indication that she was only attracted to men, given her track record through flirting with targets and teammates alike. You had never seen her flirt with a woman. You had never even let yourself consider the actual possibility of her liking you back, because you were sure that was absolutely ridiculous. You were a big girl, you weren’t heart broken, just maybe pining and a little lonely. You would never admit it if you could help it.
You spent the rest of the night in your room, reading your book. Wanda reached out, texting you with an offer to talk about it if you needed. You thanked her, but didn’t follow up with anything else. 
***
The next morning, you woke up, comfortable in bed and planning to hide out the rest of this curse in your room. 
That plan was going really well until it suddenly wasn’t.
After about two hours hiding away, there was a knock at your door. You pulled yourself up, brushing your hair out of your face and straightening your clothes. After giving yourself a second of preparation, you opened the door, only to nearly close it again immediately. Natasha was standing in your doorway, looking gorgeous as always. You had spent enough time around her that her presence didn’t fluster you, but you still knew that thanks to Loki, you wouldn’t be able to pretend everything was normal. She smiled at you, and you kept your mouth shut, returning the smile and hoping you could just nod to answer her questions. 
“Hey Y/N. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, We haven’t really spent any time together since the party.” She sounded so concerned, it warmed your heart. Unfortunately, you had a hard time conveying that the way you wanted to.
“I’m always okay when you’re around.” Your face heated up, immediately regretting opening the door at all. You couldn’t control your mouth and you knew that, but you were still an idiot for her. She cocked her head at you before assessing you briefly. 
“You know, you don’t have to keep it up with me, I won’t tell anyone.” Now, Natsha was smart. Ridiculously good at reading people, and you were sure you were no exception. You had given yourself away with the flush, but she was testing you. You knew you were screwed, but you were determined to pretend as long as possible. Instead of risking whatever you might say, you bit your lip and nodded your head. You were had, like a deer in the headlights, unsure where to go from there. She was watching you like she studied her targets. As if you were a fascinating mark, giving away important information by trying not to. No one would ever argue that she was not good at her job. 
Her face softened with her conclusion and she began to step towards you. Panicking, you tried to apologize and say goodbye, which instead came out, “I always love spending time with you!” With that last humiliating statement, you shut the door. You told FRIDAY to make sure it was locked and to ignore anyone who came to the door. 
You were furious with Loki and Clint, annoyed at Natasha for figuring it out, but mostly, ashamed of yourself. Of course you were practically in love with someone completely out of your league, without a chance in hell. You couldn’t get her face before you shut the door out of your mind. You couldn’t help but think that it looked like pity. You didn’t think you could look her in the eye any time soon. 
You spent the whole day moping in your room. You didn’t plan to tell anyone, and you believed you could trust her, that she wouldn’t tell anyone. You were trying to figure out how to continue to have a professional relationship with her now that she knew. If you tried to ignore it, would she go along with that? Or would she confront you and force you to admit it before turning you down?
You were plagued with these worries for the rest of the day. No one heard from you the entire rest of the day. None of them thought that weird until you didn’t bother to talk to people the next day, or the day after that, at which point you definitely should have been able to talk to people without having to flirt. It was obvious something was wrong at the point that Clint was asking if anyone had heard from you. Tony had asked FRIDAY if you were okay, at least breathing and in your room. When she confirmed that you were both alive and in your bedroom, there wasn’t much more he could do. Even though he designed it, he designed it so that overrides only worked in emergencies for privacy. 
You didn’t talk to anyone until the choice was taken away from you. Two days after the spell wore off, Wanda and Vision walked through your wall. You could only assume Wanda had tried to knock and had finally just resorted to getting Vision’s help. He looked between you, nodded in your direction, and backed out of the room. You didn’t really try to acknowledge her, not interested in talking about your feelings and all of the other things you had managed to keep hidden in your time as part of the Avengers. You were a good actress, you had to be, but you weren’t good at lying to people who cared. You knew Wanda cared about you and just wanted to help, but you didn’t want to admit all of your fears to her, or anyone else. 
She sat on the bed next to you and you finally looked up at her. You watched her face drop into pity as she looked over you. That definitely didn’t make you feel better. She leaned her head on your shoulder and asked, “What’s going on?” 
You had no idea how to explain it all, and no desire to try either. Finally, after heaving a sigh and looking to see that she was still patiently waiting for you to talk, you began to tell her about how you had been feeling about the assassin. How you knew you weren’t good enough. How you were sure she didn’t even like girls. How you were scared to admit that you liked girls, knowing sometimes people just didn’t like that. How you had made a fool of yourself and were afraid to talk to anyone, especially her. She was silent through it all, nodding or holding your hand. After listening to you, she didn’t offer any input or tell you to leave your room, she just gave you a hug and asked if you needed anything else. You shook your head and she left you to your own devices.
***
After telling it all to Wanda, you felt better. You didn’t leave your room that day, but you managed to walk out to the kitchen for lunch. Most of your team was in the common room or the kitchen, but they all simply smiled or waved at you when you came out. You were grateful they didn’t make a big deal of it. 
Well, most of them didn’t. However hard you tried not to, your eyes locked on Natasha. You were startled to see her glaring at you. She got up and walked towards you. You thought she was going to kick your ass or something. With that fear in mind, it wasn’t that surprising when she stopped in front of you and said, “You’re an idiot.” While not shocked, you were definitely a little hurt and confused. You were even more confused when she gently grabbed your face and placed a soft kiss on your lips. You obviously weren’t the only one shocked by it, as you heard at least three people drop something they were holding. You were so focused on Natasha that you didn’t bother looking in the direction you had heard glass break and swearing follow. 
“Wh-?” you started, at a loss for words and unsure what you wanted to say. 
“I put a bug on Wanda yesterday, and I just want to let you know that you're a dumbass.” There was a lot she wasn't saying, but you had never been happier to be called a dumbass.
You finally heard Clint and Sam snap out of their frozen states to start asking a million questions. You glanced around, unsure why you were so nervous, but incredibly relieved to see that all of your teammates were smiling at you. Finally realizing that Natasha had just kissed you in front of everyone, a blush crept up your face. It got even warmer when you heard Tony mutter, “Of course, Y/N was the only one with a shot at you dammit.”
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cherryrogers · 5 years ago
Text
Halloween.
Loki x Fem!Reader
Contains: Pure fluff.
Synopsis: It’s Loki’s first Halloween, and you’re determined to make sure he enjoys it.
__________________________________________
“Halloween?” Loki asked, a confused brow raised as he sat across from you at the kitchen counter.
“You don’t know what Halloween is?”
The god didn’t react, indicating to you that his answer was no.
“Well,” You started. “It’s a holiday where everyone dresses up in a costume, usually something scary. People decorate their houses with creepy stuff, carve pumpkins, eat way too much candy... it’s basically a day to celebrate all things horror.”
Loki just stared at you for a couple of seconds, comprehending your explanation before deadpanning at you. “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.”
You sighed, knowing that he would have that reaction to Halloween. Sure, it was pretty stupid. Was their any logical, important reason for the holiday to take place? Not particularly. Did you waste a tad too much money on Halloween decorations? Certainly. But it was fun. While you knew Loki wouldn’t intitially like the idea of Halloween, you knew that with a bit of persuasion, he would be dressed in costume and jamming a knife into a pumpkin in no time.
“I read somewhere that people originally started wearing scary costumes on the day to ward off ghosts.” You stated, pulling out your phone and going to your camera roll. Perhaps showing Loki consumes from the previous Halloween’s you’d celebrated would get him more in the spirit.
Usually, when it came to getting Loki out of his bedroom and stopping him from brooding, you were the one making him do those things. Watching him trying to settle into living in the compound was hard, seeing as the rest of your housemates didn’t tend to give him a second glance when he was around. Of course, Thor would occasionally have brotherly banter with him, but other than that, Loki didn’t have much of a relationship with anyone else. You’d been in his place before - being new to the compound and feeling like the odd one out. You knew it wasn’t a nice feeling, and you were determined to make the compound feel like somewhat of a home to him.
“Look.” You placed your phone in front of him on the marble counter. The picture on the screen was a photo of you and Natasha from the previous Halloween, before Loki had arrived at the compound. Natasha had her back to the camera, showing off the makeshift wings you and her had spent days crafting to try and resemble Sam’s outfit. She was looking over her shoulder dramatically, standing directly next to you in your costume. Red boots covered the bottom half of your legs and stopped just below your knee, hiding the blue leggings that you were wearing along with a long-sleeved, shoulder-less top. The top was plain white at first, before you painted the top part blue and added the red stripes to the bottom of it; not forgetting the star in the centre. To top off the costume, you were holding Cap’s actual shield in front of your body, which you’d begged Steve for you to use for the night.
Sam and Steve tried to act like your costumes were terrible, but they secretly were quite impressed.
“These were mine and Nat’s costumes last year. Clever, huh?” You attempted to get a positive reaction out of Loki, but you unsurprisingly failed.
He didn’t take his eyes off your phone as he replied. “And these costumes were meant to ward off evil spirits? I’m not sure the image of the almighty Captain America will do that job.”
He wasn’t wrong, honestly. However, he just didn’t seem to be grasping the idea of Halloween. You couldn’t necessarily blame him, considering he’d never celebrated any seasonal holidays before moving permanently to Earth.
“Halloween’s not really about that anymore. Like most things, it kinda lost its traditional purpose and became something more... fun. I mean, it’d be weird if I dressed up as Steve on any other random day. But on Halloween... totally fine.” You took your phone back and shoved it back into your pocket.
“So, it’s now just an excuse to dress up in outfits that aren’t usually socially acceptable?”
“...Yes.”
“Again, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
You smacked a hand against your forehead, letting out an agitated sigh. He just didn’t get it. Maybe if the guy actually tried dressing up and enjoying himself, he wouldn’t be so critical of it.
Loki had a smug smile on his face when you looked back up at him. “Look, there’s two days until Halloween. We’re having a party on Halloween night, and everyone is gonna be dressed up. Please tell me you’ll be there? With a costume?”
His smile faded slightly. “I don’t like parties.”
“But it’s a Halloween party.”
“That doesn’t change my mind.”
Your eyes widened hopefully, leaning closer to Loki across the counter. You weren’t going to say it aloud, but you really wanted him to be at the party. You liked Loki a lot; as a friend, and perhaps even something more than that. It was important to you that he didn’t miss out on things just because he doesn’t feel like he belongs. While he hadn’t directly told you that, you could tell that was what he thought of himself. You noticed how he tended to leave a room when too many people were on it, how he never joined in on movie nights, how he would disappear during missions despite Tony scolding him for it every time.
Loki shouldn’t have to feel like that, because he was a person - he was just as important as everyone else living in the compound. And you wanted to make sure he knew that.
“Come on, Lokes.” His nose scrunched at the nickname he supposedly hated (he didn’t really). “I’ll make sure you have fun. I’ll even help you with your costume. We’re running a little short on time, but I’m sure if I finish all my work now and get started as soon as possible I can put something tog-”
“Fine.”
“You’ll come?”
He exhaled reluctantly, a small grin playing on his lips. “Yes.”
As soon as he said the word, you rushed out of the kitchen to your office to get started on the paperwork you needed finished for the 30th. Your handwriting was slightly messy, and you could barely focus on what you were meant to be doing as you thought of a million ideas for a Halloween costume for Loki. Would he want something more on the creepy side? Something more playful? A character from a movie, or something original? Thoughts whirled around in your mind as you got yourself hyped for the party, hyped to see Loki.
While you were in the middle of working, Natasha wandered into your office and sat herself on the chair across from you, making herself comfortable. The red head often came in when she was bored - Nat was incredibly fast at finishing paperwork. The woman did it as soon as it was handed to her and never had to worry about deadlines. You wished you had her work ethic.
“You got a costume for Thursday yet?” She spoke up.
“Please,” You chuckled, putting down your pen and resting your chin in your hands. “I’ve had a costume planned since last Halloween.”
Natasha raised a curious brow. “And that is?”
You smirked, holding up a finger, telling her you’d be one minute as you fled to your bedroom to grab an element of your costume to show her.
When you returned, you instructed Natasha to close her eyes while you carefully put on the small part of your costume. Once you were happy, you allowed her to open her eyes, and she let out a laugh at what she was looking at.
You had put on two black gloves, but that wasn’t all. Attached to each glove was sharp, long scissor blades that followed the movement of your fingers when you moved them. You weren’t too sure about the idea at first, as you could hear Steve’s voice already telling you about how your costume was a ‘safety hazard’, but it was for Halloween. As long as you didn’t get too drunk and forget that literal blades were sticking out of your hands, you were sure you’d be fine.
Nat tilted her head to the side, examining the makeshift gloves. “Edward Scissorhands?”
“You guessed it.” You beamed. “So, if anyone asks why all of the scissors in the compound have disappeared, don’t rat me out. It’s for the cause.”
“It’s for a Halloween costume you’ll be wearing for a couple of hours.”
“I’m sure Tony won’t have an issue with buying some more.” You shrugged. “Plus, now that my costume is sorted, I need to think of something for Loki.”
Leaning forward in her seat, Natasha furrowed her brows. “Loki? He’s coming to the party?”
“Yeah, I asked him to.” You said the gloves off your hands and laid them gently on your desk.
“And he said yes?” More confusion was laced in her tone.
You nodded, feeling proud of yourself internally for being the only one that could actually get Loki to come to the party. “Yep, but he needs a costume. Something that he won’t hate. I want him to enjoy himself, you know? If he has a shitty costume, he’s gonna hate me for making him go.”
A smirk made its way onto Nat’s lips, and her expression gave you hope. “I have an idea.”
* * *
As you skipped down the hall to Loki’s bedroom, you couldn’t shake the excitement that was practically making you glow. It was finally Halloween, and there was two hours until the party started.
After Natasha suggested an idea for Loki’s costume, you and her spent a good amount of time putting it together. She made you a list of everything you needed to buy from the costume store, and while you were at the store buying all of it, Natasha planned his hair and makeup. Yes, hair and makeup. If Loki was going to look amazing in his costume, he was going to have to venture a little out of his comfort zone.
Loki was aware that you were planning out his costume for the night, but he was definitely underestimating you. He was thinking at the most you’d give him a prop and a headband. Little did he know...
Knowing that you’d be very busy getting Loki prepared for the night, you had your hair and makeup done early, as well as your full costume on - except for the scissorhands. Although they looked cool, they were quite impractical. Your hair was curled into tight ringlets, and the dark coloured shadow on your eyelids made your eye colour pop. Several thick belts tapped around your black t-shirt, and that was complimented by a short black tutu and knee high combat boots. You looked hot, honestly. Sure, maybe your hair should be a little messier and your skirt shouldn’t be so short, but you were hoping to impress a certain someone tonight, and you didn’t want to ruin your hair by dousing it in hairspray. Plus, the skirt was just cute.
Using the hand that wasn’t carrying the bag of Loki’s stuff, you knocked quickly on his bedroom door. It wasn’t long before the door opened slowly, revealing the god wearing a surprised expression at your costume. Maybe it was the makeup that accentuated your eyes, or the tutu that didn’t quite cover your thighs; after whatever it was that caused Loki to gulp nervously, you smiled warmly at him.
“Happy Halloween, Lokes.” You greeted him, sliding past his tall frame and setting the duffle bag down on his neatly made bed. “You ready to see your costume?”
The mention of his costume snapped Loki back into reality. “I’m not quite sure, if I’m honest. But, go on.”
After fumbling with the zip of the bag, you pulled out the main part of his costume - the headpiece.
It started out as a plastic hairband, but you and Nat worked your magic, and it became something pretty awesome. The hairband was painted dark green, and long, green and gold snakes, which honestly looked sort of realistic, stuck out from it. It didn’t look like a crappy two dollar hairband from the costume store - it looked professionally made. Even Loki was pretty impressed, yet a little confused.
He reached out and took the hairband from you, examining it carefully. “This... looks like you spent a lot of time on it.”
“I did. Well, we did. Natasha and I made it together.”
“So... what is my costume? Some sort of snake man?” Loki questioned, causing you to glare playfully at him.
“No, you’re not gonna be a snake man. Do you still have all of your green, Asgardian stuff?” You asked.
He nodded cautiously. “Yes, why?”
“You’re gonna need it for your costume.”
* * *
An hour later, Loki is in a long, green cloak over a simple black tee and tight leather pants. Admittedly, you picked them out because his legs looked fine in them. He is sat on his desk chair, which was moved in front of the long, vertical mirror in his room so that he could watch as his makeup and hair was done. Initially, he was a little reluctant to having a large fuss being made on his appearance, but he secretly loved the feeling of his hair being combed and the soft bristles of makeup brushes touching his face.
Natasha was on hair duty. She’d brushed through his locks gently before adding semi-permanent green dye to certain streaks in his hair. Meanwhile, you were setting the light layer of foundation you’d added to his skin and beginning to do some subtle eye makeup on him.
“You excited for the party yet?” You murmured, tapping the eyeshadow brush against the palette to rid any excess green powder and lifting it to his eyes.
“I’d be more excited if you told me what I was going as.” He responded.
You chuckled with a roll of your eyes. “I thought you would’ve figured it out by now, Loki. You’re wearing a headband covered in snakes, you’re all dressed in green...”
Loki just looked at you cluelessly.
“You’re Medusa! The one with snakes for hair, and if you look into her eyes, you get turned into stone.”
A look of realisation overcame Loki’s expression. “Ah, I see. Sorry, I don’t tend to pay that much attention to Greek mythology. I’m more interested in the Norse type.”
“Hm, I wonder why.” You scoffed at his words. “How’s the hair coming along, Mrs Incredible?”
“Just about done, Scissorhands.” Natasha replied, sliding the snake hairband on top of Loki’s head. As always, the girl looked stunning. She was dressed as Elastigirl, and the outfit was practically identical to her outfit in the movie. You and her really didn’t mess around when it came to Halloween costumes - if you weren’t going all out, what was the point? You let Nat know that the eye makeup was finished too, and put all the makeup products back in your duffle bag.
Clapping excitedly, you ushered Loki to stand from his chair. “Alright, Medusa. Let’s get a full look at you.”
The god stood up, groaning slightly at the pain in his legs from being sat down for so long. His gaze trailed from the ground up to his full reflection in the mirror. His outfit was something he was pretty used to wearing, as it was his own Asgardian attire. However, his eyes widened at the slight green-gold colour that had been brushed over his eyelids. He eyed the headband that was sitting on top of his dark locks, surprised at how much it... worked for him. Loki was honestly sort of crapping himself, worried that he’d show up to the party looking like a joke. Though, he wasn’t so concerned about that now.
“Do you like it?” You asked hesitantly, stepping closer to him so you were staring at both of your figures next to each other in the mirror. Honestly, you thought you looked like quite the duo.
There was a short silence, before Loki cracked a smile. “You’ve pleasantly surprised me, (Y/N).”
You couldn’t prevent the grin that took over your face, and your hand raised to Loki’s shoulder, squeezing it assuringly. “I’ve gotta say, Lokes. You make a pretty good-looking Medusa.”
Loki couldn’t tell whether his breath hitched from your words or your touch, but both made him genuinely glad you’d pushed him into dressing up for Halloween.
You looked behind you, seeing Natasha packing the duffle bag and then throwing it over her shoulder, getting ready to head downstairs. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ to the red head, considering the whole Medusa constume was her idea. In return, she mouthed a ‘have fun tonight’, winking playfully before pulling open the door and leaving.
* * *
As soon as you heard music blaring through the speakers downstairs, you pulled on your gloves covered in scissors and motioned for Loki to follow you out to the party, apologising with a giggle when you accidentally wacked him in the arm with one of your blades.
You and Loki manoeuvred in between the crowds of people in their costumes; considering the party was for people in the compound and anyone else Tony approved to come, there was a lot of people dotted around the usually empty ground floor.
Once you made it to the bar, you ordered drinks for the both of you. Not something too strong, but just something to take the edge off. To take the edge off you, anyway. The regular alcohol wouldn’t have an effect on Loki, but he still liked drinking the stuff - the bitter yet sweet taste was comforting in its own way.
After thanking the bartender, you went to pick up your drink, bit were soon reminded of the impracticalities of your costume when one of the scissor blades clinked against your glass. Loki noticed your frown, chuckling gently as he sipped his own drink before placing it back on the counter.
“Allow me.” He leaned forward and spoke next to your ear over the loud music, causing your body to freeze at you being in close proximity to the god.
His own hand clasped around your glass, and he lifted it up to your mouth, tipping it towards you. Feeling the liquid against your lips, you opened your mouth slightly and let yourself sip the drink, savouring the sugary taste on your tongue. Your eyes never left his as he took the glass away and placed it back next to you. There was something oddly... alluring about Loki doing that for you, especially since his bright eyes were piercing into yours the whole time. It made your stomach turn with nerves in a way it never had before, a way that you were sure could only be caused by the man in front of you.
“Thank you.” Your voice was slightly raspy, since your previous interaction made your throat go dry, ironically after you’d just taken a drink.
“I was meant to tell you before,” Loki dropped his gaze to the bar for a moment, before bringing it back up to you. “Your outfit is marvellous.”
He wasn’t speaking next to your ear that time, so you couldn’t quite hear what Loki had said. You took a step closer to him, your chests almost pressing together. “Sorry, I can’t hear you over the music. What did you say?”
Colour arised in his cheeks as he leaned in next to your ear again. “You look incredible tonight, (Y/N).”
Your stomach was doing flips at this point, but the compliment also gave you a surge of confidence. It was Halloween, after all. Not that that had anything to do with making impulsive decisions, but if you made one and it backfired, at least you were at a party where you could drown your embarrassment with alcohol.
Before Loki could pull back away from you, you reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. Your lips lingered on his soft skin for a moment, and you could tell his whole body had stiffened. However, judging by the smile playing on his lips, you assumed that he appreciated the gesture.
“Thanks, Loki.” You practically whispered, but because you were still so close to him, Loki heard you very clearly.
Quickly, you pulled off one of your gloves and grasped your drink, chugging the rest of the liquid in two gulps. After putting the glass aside, you replaced the glove on your hand and pushed yourself away from the bar. Tilting your head to the side, you motioned for Loki to follow you to the dance floor.
With you walking in front of him, you didn’t notice the smile that had widened on face. To think that he was going to completely ignore the existence of Halloween. He reminisced on the moment you had shared only a minute prior, still feeling his skin tingling from your soft touch. Hopefully, that would be the first of many intimate moments you’d share.
“Ow.” A voice pulled Loki from his thoughts, and he searched for the source of the cry, eventually assuming it was blond in front of him who was rubbing his arm with a pout on his lips.
“Those gloves are a safety hazard, (Y/N).”
“Shut up, Steve.”
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thorne93 · 5 years ago
Text
Unforeseen Chasm (Part 20)
Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.
Word Count:2908
Warnings: Language
Song: This Feeling - The Chainsmokers
Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.
Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That’s it, listen to the sound of my voice,” you cooed as you and Loki sat cross-legged on the rug, trying to meditate. “Try to remember the first memory of Thor. Your first truly happy memory.” 
“When I stabbed him after pretending to be a snake?” he asked, his eyes closed as he smirked.
“No, I mean more of a time you two were equals. Fighting side by side. Perhaps he covered for you when you stole a cake at a feast?” you tried. 
Loki kept his eyes closed, trying to remember. “Nothing. Y/N, I am getting nothing,” he finally said, sighing and opening his eyes. He got to his feet. “This isn’t working. We’ve been at this for two weeks.”
“And giving up will not help. It’s not like we have much of anything else to do,” you said, gesturing around. 
Loki got closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. “I could think of a thing or two we could do instead of this,” he said in a low voice.
You smiled at him but put your hands on his chest. “While that is fun, it isn’t exactly helpful, is it?” 
“I don’t know, a jarring bed helps clear the mind,” he said, bending down and biting your ear, making you laugh. 
“Are you two done?” Tony’s voice suddenly asked, irritated. 
You jumped away from Loki, startled. Loki simply glared at Tony and left the room, trying to get to the other side of the apartment where he wouldn’t be seen. 
“Tony,” you greeted as kindly as you could, surprised to see him. 
“Just checking in. Need anything?” he asked, his eyebrows raised. 
“Don’t suppose my freedom is an option?” you joked. 
“No, it’s not. If I have it my way you’ll never know what sunlight looks like again,” he promised. “Anyway, need anything? A book? Paper? Toiletries?” He began walking around the outside of the cell, probably examining it for any tampering. 
“A notebook and some pencils and pens would be nice,” you tried in a meek voice. 
“I can arrange that,” he simply said. “Anything else?” 
“How is Shannon?” you blurted out, desperate to know about her.
“Oh, so now you suddenly care about her wellbeing?” he questioned, irritated. “She’s fine, no thanks to you.”
“Is she… does she ask about me?” you wondered, stepping closer to the glass. 
“Nope. Not once,” he said, satisfaction flashing across his face at the sign of your pain. 
You nodded. “That’s fair. Could you tell her… that I miss her?”
“As a matter of fact, I can’t. I won’t tell her about you at all, unless she asks,” Tony informed, his hands behind his back, gloating. “I’ll do my damndest to make sure she forgets you’re 100 stories below ground…” 
Your eyes drifted to the floor. “Tony, I’m sorry,” you said, so much emotion in your voice, but remorse ringing the most. “I… I didn’t want to hurt you or her.”
“Just collateral damage for Reindeer Games, huh?” he asked, gesturing vaguely behind you. “You know, I never pegged you for a woman to lose her head over a guy, but I guess I was wrong,” Tony said, shrugging, frowning at you. 
“I didn’t lose my head… I fell in love,” you answered simply.
“Yeah, with possibly the most crazy and vindictive prick I’ve ever met,” Tony retorted. “The people we fall in love with shows a lot about our own character, Y/N/N.”
Your eyes flashed to him. “Yeah, you need to remind Shannon of that,” you said pointedly as you eyed him up and down. 
“I will, because.. You know, I’m free and all, and not a criminal, and I can see her every day.” He flashed you a smile and started to walk away. “Paper and pens, got it. You’ll get it sometime in the next month,” he called over his shoulder as he walked away. 
Even watching Tony walk away from you hurt like hell. In a split second, Loki’s hands were on your shoulders, comforting you before you turned and wept into his chest as he held you.
------------------------
Loki woke in a pool of cold sweat, sitting straight up. He made no noise other than a slight gasp. 
“Darling?” you asked as you sat up with him. “Are you alright?” 
He shook his head. “I had a nightmare. Thanos found us… He came for you… And he… He killed…” He broke off, staring at you with wild eyes before grabbing at you and gripping you tight before crying. You let him sob, get all of his fear and grief out. 
“It’s okay, he can’t get to us. I’ll protect you,” you vowed as you soothingly stroked his back. 
----------------
In the following weeks, you worked more and more with Loki. You tried to get him to remember good things. To remember that he and Thor were equals. Slowly, he was coming out of it. The brainwashing was slowly washing away. The cruelty of this Loki was ebbing away to the gentle, clever, and sweet Loki you knew and loved. 
You’d asked for the paper to write Shannon a letter. You wrote on it every day, adding to it, elaborating. You were explaining your life just before the fall, up until the day you were put in this prison. The brainwashing, the torture, the ultimatum, the reasons behind all of your actions. You would hope she would read it and understand. 
By now, it was over twenty pages long. It detailed why you jumped. It detailed that you fell in love with Loki a month before the fall. You explained the good side of him. The side that Earth never saw, and probably never would. The side only his family knew. You explained how Loki had been berated and ridiculed by people closest to him. In your short time there you’d seen it. The warriors teased him constantly. Odin hardly let him talk. The only real good in his life was Frigga. 
You explained that while you were with Loki in the library, riding, in the forest, on the training field, he wasn’t this evil monster that was filled with jealousy and hate. He was just a man, wanting to be seen as the equal he deserved. And you saw him as that, as an equal. Your equal, Thor’s equal. Any one with a good heart, he was their equal.
You jumped, because you were in love with a man that truly understood you. A man that knew what it was like to be overlooked. A man that could make you laugh. A man that got lost in your voice as you went on and on about physics. A man that seemed to take great joy in your fascination with magic. 
Then you fell deeper in love when he selflessly took the brunt of the torture and manipulation just so you would be left unharmed. When you begged him to let you take it, he refused. 
He risked everything by letting you go to Shannon and apologize. He knew he was risking his own life if you all should fail, but so long as you were happy, what did it matter? 
This was the side you wrote about in your letters.
Then you went on to explain just how awful it was living under Thanos’s rule. How he treated you almost like a daughter -- fitting, that a man who wanted to ruin the universe would see himself in you. Not your foster parents, not Frigga and Odin, not Diane and Tom -- no, the most sociopathic man you’d ever met, decided to spare you, take pity on you, and take you under his wing as if you were his daughter. 
You told her all about Thanos, at least what you knew. You knew he was homicidal and uncaring. You weren’t sure about his overall plan, at all. All you knew was your instructions and that was it. 
The letter explained why you could do the horrible things you could do to her. How even though it ripped a hole in your heart, that stabbing her in the leg was far better than Loki, you, Tony, the Avengers, and everyone else - dying. Collateral damage, to ensure that you and Loki ruled Earth, and that ultimately those you loved stayed safe. 
Loki’s motivations might have been slightly… different than your own, but both of you knew, both of you were aware just how much was at stake if you lost. That’s why all sentiment had to be lost.
And yet, you still could not do it. You could not fight Tony with the intent to hurt. You couldn’t fight Shannon with the intent to kill. 
But most importantly, the letters told Shannon how much you loved her more than anything in this world. No amount of brainwashing, or threats could make you forget how much she meant to you. The letters said how sorry you were, and that you did all of this, just to save her. If you failed at everything else, at least you were able to save the people you loved from that murderous being in space… for now. And that was all that mattered -- that they were safe. 
----------------------
Tony arrived for his biweekly check up. It was his fourth visit in total, meaning eight weeks had passed since you’d been put in this upscale prison cell. By now you were used to the fact that Tony, and anyone else with access to JARVIS could see what you were doing at all times. 
But you didn’t care. What were they going to hear? You writing? Loki reading? The two of you sleeping? That had to be enthralling for the viewers… 
“Need anything?” he greeted. Clearly his utter contempt for you and Loki had not subsided. Loki never spoke to Tony, nor Tony to him. 
“Could we have five more books?” you asked, at this point you hated sounding like a begging child for scraps. 
“Sure. Any particular ones?” Tony asked. 
You held up a list. 
He rolled his eyes. “Read it to JARVIS later and I’ll get it. Anything else?”
“Could we have a handful of things so we can cook? It would be nice to have some variety for down here or if we get hungry at midnight?” 
Tony thought for a moment. “Give me two fruits you want stocked, and give me some ingredients for some recipes and I’ll see what I can do.” 
“Thanks.”
“That it?” he questioned, nearly through with his walk through of checking for tampering. 
“Uh, no…” You used your powers of concealment and showed him the bundle of letters. “Could you take these to Shannon?”
He looked at the letters for a second too long, then looked up at you and told you a flat, “No.”
He already began to turn and walk out of the room. 
“No? Tony! Wait, what the hell? Don’t I deserve to know why?” you asked, frantic. 
He spun back to face you, rage evident in his expression, making you take a few steps back from the glass. 
“No! No you really don’t deserve to know anything about Shannon! She doesn’t deserve this shit. So no, I won’t give her your letters.”
“Fine! You selfish ass,” you said, angry at him for refusing to deliver the letters. 
He took several more strides toward the glass wall until he was right next to it. “Selfish? I’m selfish? I’m only thinking about her. If I give these to her, they’ll break her. I’m not doing that. I am not watching her go through that.”
“You have no idea what’s in them,” you argued evenly. 
“Doesn’t matter. If they somehow magically explain that it wasn’t all your fault, she’ll feel guilty and want to free you -- which we can’t do. If it’s more blind resentment towards her, or me, or anyone else, it’ll just crush her. So either way, it’s a lose-lose.”
On that, he spun and left before you could beg further. 
---------------------------
Another four weeks slipped by, and still, nothing from Shannon. When you asked Tony about her, he simply said, “She’s fine.” That was all he would ever say to you. No matter what you asked him, when you asked him, that was his only response. 
Part of you wondered why she never came down here herself. Did she really hate you that much? Why couldn’t she just listen to you? 
Other than Tony’s visits, and the occasional food and goods drop from one of his workers, you were entirely alone with Loki. Which, in many odd ways, was good. The two of you hardly had much alone time when you were on Asgard, and never alone unless it was night in that godforsaken hut you lived in on Sanctuary (a name unbefitting the elements, mind you). Then, the plot to take over Earth took place and you barely saw him.
Now, now that you two had no freedom, and were bound together in here, you got to know each other even more. It was like domestic bliss on house arrest. Not ideal, but at any rate, it got you some time to fall more in love. 
And it granted you more time to get that brainwashed bullshit out of his head. Each day was a small step closer to victory for you, and for him. He slowly came up out of the cruel, wild, mess of a man he’d been turned into and was slowly turning back into your Loki. 
If your fate was to be left in a cell with this man for the rest of your life, then so be it. There were fates much worse than this. In fact, this wasn’t bad at all. It was almost like Heaven -- save for lack of freedom, friends or family, at least you had him.
--------------------------------
Tony returned for another visit, and asked if you needed anything. It was at this time that Shannon, nearly one-hundred-fifty stories above you, asked JARVIS where he was.
“JARVIS, where is Tony?” she wondered idly as she worked on soldering a motherboard. 
“I believe he is at Mr. Loki and Ms. Y/N’s holding cell,” the AI informed. 
Shannon stood straight up. “He--what?” she asked, perplexed. “Show me.”
On command, JARVIS turned on the video of your holding cell, the outside camera where Tony stood.
“Okay, you want a board game?” Tony asked, confused and Shannon looked on. The tiniest of smiles played at Shannon‘s lips. Of course you would want a board game. That’s typical. And of course Tony would think it was an odd request. 
But then the reality of the situation hit her. Why was Tony even down there? How long had he been going down there? What was he doing? 
“Yeah, Monopoly. It’s fun and it’ll take up some of our time,” you tried with a shrug.
“I don’t think a game about owning and domination and money is best for the Wannabe King,” Tony remarked. 
You rolled your eyes. “Fine, Twister.”
“Hell no. That is basically foreplay, and I’m not watching that unfold on my surveillance.” 
Again, you rolled your eyes. “Fine, then what do you suggest?” 
“Checkers?” 
“God, you’re so boring,” you said with a slight laugh. “Please, Tony? Something for entertainment other than books and writing?” 
“I’ll see about getting you some family friendly, non-dictator-y games,” he promised. “Anything else?”
Your powers of concealment kicked in again as you revealed the large stack of letters. “Give these to Shannon?” you requested in a soft, desperate voice.
“No,” he firmly said again. This was the third time he’d denied you. 
“Tony. Please. Don’t you think she should be able to make the decision for herself? Let her read them. If she still hates me, fine, if she doesn’t then…”
“Then I have to pick up the pieces when you choose that Asgardian asshole over her, again,” he stressed, pointing to Loki who was standing in the kitchen. You turned back to look at him for a moment before sighing. 
“That won’t happen.”
“And what guarantee do I have?” he asked, as if your promise were absurd.
“I’m locked in a fucking cell, Tony. What could I possibly do to her? I don’t get to see her. The letter isn’t malicious. Read it if you fucking want, I don’t care. I don’t care if you publish it in the New York Times, just make sure she reads it!” you begged. 
“No,” he said again in a low firm voice, his hand making a cutting motion in the air. “And if you ask me about it again, I will go in there and burn them.” He turned abruptly and started to storm out.
“Tony… Tony! Tony!” you shouted after him, putting the letters on the glass. “Please!” 
But he wouldn’t respond to your pleas. He left the same doors he always did, and they slid shut behind him. 
His rejection, turned into pain, and your pain, turned to rage. You used your dark energy to pick every piece of furniture up and throw it, screaming as you did so. 
All the while, Shannon watched it unfold. 
Moments later, the elevator opened to the lab, where a happy Tony stepped out and walked over to Shannon. 
“Hi, dear,” he greeted sweetly. He was about to kiss her when she pulled back, revealing the video footage she’d been watching. His eyes went from the video to her, panic in his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List: @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo @damalseer @heyitscam99 @yknott81 @sorryimacrapwriter @glitterquadricorn @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm @alyssaj23 @sea040561 @princess76179 @thisismysecrethappyplace @sarahp879 @malfoysqueen14 @ellallheart @breezy1415 @marvelmayo @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton
Loki: @lostinspace33 @ultrarebelheart @lenawiinchester @esoltis280 @tngrayson @wangdeasang @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​
UC:
@lokis-high-priestess​
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lov3nerdstuff · 5 years ago
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Dark Stars {Part 7}
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*Loki x OFC*
Part: 7/10
Words: 4.9k
Warnings: none, for once
Summary: ~Loki could just let her die here and now. His problems would be solved and he could go back to his usual ways. But then he would forever be left with an unsolved mystery and he hated the prospect of that even more than the fear of what would happen if she lived.~
A story of what happens when Loki stumbles upon someone who is like him in every way. Only better. Oh, and they just happen save Asgard too.
A.N.: To celebrate over 1000 people following me (how insane is that?!), I decided to share the newly edited version of the very first Loki fanfiction I ever wrote! Enjoy the mischief 💚
All Parts can be found on my Masterlist!
______________________________
It was still dark when she found herself standing on one of the palace's balconies. Quietly, she walked through the open window into the dark room, and straight towards the sleeping figure on the bed. Before she could say a single word however, a hand with a knife shot up from the bed, aiming for her throat. Yet, it went right through her body, the illusion only weavering slightly under the brutal attack. She inwardly thanked herself for remembering this trick from Loki's memories.
The man jumped out of the bed, looking at the illusion in confusion.
"Loki?!" He asked quietly.
"Hello Thor." Ivy said gently, letting the illusion slip and now stepping into the open room herself.
"Who are you? What do you want?" He asked immediately, reaching for his hammer.
"Please, I mean no harm to you. I came here seeking help." She answered calmly, trying to put up her best facade. "My name is Ivy. I'm Loki's… friend."
"My brother has no friends." Thor answered, staring at Ivy from a few feet away, taking in every detail about her in the deepest suspicion. "Why do you wear his shirt?"
"Look, we really don't have time for this right now. Loki is dying and I need your help"
"What? Where is he?" He frowned, concerned but still watchful. "And why should I believe you in the first place?"
"He's safe. Far away from here..." She answered, searching for Thor's eyes in the dark. "And you will have to trust me for a second and come here."
Ivy held out her hand to him, palm facing upwards. She was prepared for this. She had known she needed proof.
"What are you doing?" Thor asked a little warily as Ivy stepped towards him. He rose his weapon, ready to defend himself, but before he could hit her, Ivy had placed her hand on his chest.
In an instant, Thor saw images of his own childhood. Memories of him and Loki, causing mayhem around the palace. Images of their mother, their father and their friends. Little moments of his past he had long forgotten about. He smiled at the sighed, but before he could really grasp any of the memories, they were gone again.
"How did you do that?" He asked quietly, letting his arms drop to his side. Somehow he was very certain of the fact now that she wasn't a threat to him, and most likely telling the truth even.
"Loki showed me. And now I show you, because you know your brother well and you know that he would not share these memories with me if he didn't trust me."
Thor nodded. She had a point there; Loki didn't open up to anyone. Ever. The girl in front of him must truly be special to his brother if he allowed her into his head. But that also meant that she spoke the utmost truth, that Loki was dying. For real this time.
"How can I help?" He finally asked, and Ivy went on to explain her plan.
"We're looking for a book Loki has read." She started, and Thor let out a groan, rolling his eyes.
"He has probably read every single book in the whole palace. Twice."
"We're looking for a very specific book, from Midgard." Ivy ignored his pessimism. "It should be in his room, but it would take me ages to find."
"Yeah, he has hundreds of books in there."
"And that's why I need your help. We need to find that damn book as fast as possible, or there won't be any helping him anymore."
"You can help him with a book from Midgard…? Why didn't you just ask him what's in the book?" Thor questioned, earning himself an eye-roll from Ivy. Geez, she got now why Loki was constantly annoyed with Thor. He wasn't really the smartest hen in the pen.
"We must go now." She simply stated, grabbing Thor's wrist and bringing them into Loki's room.
"Wow, how did you do that!?" He asked in bewilderment, looking around himself frantically before he realized where he was.
"It's called magic, Thor… honestly, didn't you pay any attention to your brother?" She huffed, starting to dig through the books immediately.
"Uuhhh, I have an idea! Wait here!" Thor said excitedly and hurried out of the room before Ivy could complain. If he was getting the guards, Ivy would totally stab him. Wow. That was so very Loki… She smiled sadly to herself.
Loki owned all kinds of books, but nothing about plants would surface even from the dustiest of corners. A few minutes later, Ivy heard voices outside Loki's bedroom.
"Is she the girl who killed the guards in the forest?" A man asked.
"And who almost killed another dozen in the city?" Another added.
"And she stole my clothes." The woman's voice Ivy recognized.
"You do realize I can hear you, right?" Ivy said loudly, though not taking her eyes off the books. "You can just as well talk about me once you're in here, searching."
The door opened and Thor entered, behind him following three men and the lady Loki had called Sif.
"Ivy, these are my friends." Thor introduced awkwardly. "Guys, this is Ivy. She's with Loki!"
Ivy turned around for a second, flashing a badly feigned smile. "Great. Now search, will you?"
Thor rolled his eyes but started picking up books to identify their content, motioning for his friends to do the same.
"Geez, she is just as ill-humored as Loki himself." One of the men said under his breath, and Ivy could also feel the other three staring holes into her back. Only Thor seemed rather at ease now, with his friends around.
"You can talk to me, you know.." Ivy finally said, having enough of the silent judgement thrown at her.
"Why did you kill the guards in the forest?" One man asked immediately, not even bothering to pretend he wasn't curious. He was huge, all muscles and good nutrition, and had red hair and a thick beard.
"Because I felt like it. " She answered sarcastically and rolled her eyes to herself, but then decided for honesty. "They were chasing me. I had done no harm, and I was merely walking through the woods when they attacked me. Probably out of boredom, or the desire for my body… who knows. One stabbed me in the shoulder without reason and I felt the need to defend myself."
Silence followed for a while. Then the same man spoke up again. "But why would they just attack you if you hadn't done anything?"
"I can hardly ask them now, can I? They are your guards, not mine." She answered coldly.
"She really is so much like Loki, it's disgusting…" Sif grumbled.
"Why thank you!" Ivy responded in an exaggeratedly high pitched voice, laced with feigned happiness.
"That was no compliment." Sighed Sif, throwing a book into the nearest corner of the room.
"Why do you help me then, if you despise Loki so much?" Ivy asked out of honest interest for once, while she quickly flipped through a huge book with a blank cover.
"We are helping Thor, not Loki. Because he is our prince, and our friend." Another man with blonde hair answered. The other three made noises of agreement.
"And I help you because you care about my brother as much as I do." Thor finally said. "And to be honest with you, I never quite understood why Loki was arrested with you in the first place. I mean, you killed our people… But he didn't help you with that, did he?"
Ivy sighed, growing more nervous by the second as still no one had found the book she was looking for. "No, he had nothing to do with that. He only healed me when I was dying from poison."
"There have been quite many incidents of poisoning in the city, and also around the palace, actually…" The man with the fuzzy beard answered. "I just overheard a few guards talk about it today. They think it's mere coincidence, and they don't know what kind of poison is used anyway, as everyone who has died of it wasn't worth an autopsy."
"What? Why has no one told me about this?!" Thor's voice thundered through the room and Ivy actually flinched at the sudden loudness.
"They think they can get it under control before anyone important gets hurt." Beard guy said quietly, obviously feeling ashamed for not sharing this piece of information any sooner.
"Is that what happened to Loki?" Thor asked, concern filling his voice now. Ivy didn't answer, but simply nodded. Not that those idiots would consider him an important person anyway… But to Ivy, Loki was important. Maybe to Thor as well. There was no time discussing this right now.
"Hey, I found something! It has pictures of plants in it, but I can't read what the cover says…" Blonde guy finally said, and Ivy brought herself across the room to stand directly in front of him in an instant, harshly grabbing the book from his hands, and thus making him take a step backwards.
"Wow, she's hot and knows how to handle herself…" Blonde guy remarked, rising his eyebrows, but Ivy was too busy finding the right page to care about him.
"At least she's not stabbing anyone." Beard guy sighed.
"Not yet anyway..." Blonde guy smirked. "Maybe I'll stab her with something entirely different tonight…"
Without as much as looking up from the book, Ivy threw a heavy punch at his face, causing his nose to bleed like mad. Sif only snorted at him from a few feet away, as did Thor.
"Here, I found the plant!" Ivy stated. "Atropa Belladonna…"
"What? Is that what poisoned Loki, seriously?" Blonde guy asked through his hand, with which he was still holding his bleeding nose.
"Here it says that one has to get something called 'carbo medicinalis' and dissolve it in water, then get the poisoned person to drink it." She summarized. "Brilliant! Now I only need to find some."
"Carbo what?" Thor asked with a deep frown, looking to Ivy for an explanation.
"That's activated charcoal. It binds the toxins and prevents them from killing a person." Ivy responded quickly and in easy words for them to understand, turning to Thor as well. "Do you have something like that here?"
"We can go to the healers, they will know." He said with a shrug, and then hurried out of the room with Ivy following closely behind, shoving the book into her bag quickly.
"Should we come along?" Beard guy asked after a while of silence.
"Yes!" Blonde guy said. "I need to get my nose checked!"
Sif only rolled her eyes at him and they went to follow the other two.
"We need carbo… medi… midi…" Thor tried once he and Ivy came storming into the healer's rooms.
"Carbo medicinalis." Ivy quickly said, turning to the surprised woman in front of them. "Charcoal."
"Well, what…" She tried, but Ivy cut her off by stepping right in front her, giving her a death glare. "There's no time for interrogations, do you have it or not?"
The poor healer looked to Thor for help, but he didn't make any move to stop this mad raven woman from threatening her with her glares.
"We… There must be some with the substances from other realms." She said and quickly scurried towards a cupboard in the far back of the room.
Meanwhile Ivy grabbed a cup and shoved it into her bag, before she followed the healer.
"How much do you need?" The healer asked quietly.
"Everything you have." Ivy answered quickly and took the palm-sized bundle from the healer, then turning to Thor once more, as he stood helplessly in the middle of the room.
"Tell your father about the incidents in the city. And tell him I'm going to deal with it, as his guards are obviously unable to do so." Without waiting for an answer, Ivy disappeared just in the same moment when Sif and the others entered the room.
"You just let her go?!" Sif asked incredulously.
"She will save Loki. Of course I let her go!" Thor returned with a deep frown.
"If she hurts people again, you will know whose fault it is."
_______________
Once back at the opening, Ivy quickly filled the cup with water and dissolved the black powder in it. Now she only needed to get him to drink it… Only…
Hurriedly, she knelt down next to him, checking once more if his heart was still beating before she sat him up against her own frame and rather roughly forced the black liquid down his throat. Then, she waited. After a while his body got rather heavy, resting against her own with his full weight, and she leaned back against the stone wall behind her for support while moving Loki's head to lay in her lap. Hopefully this was going to work…
After a little while of inner debate, she carefully pushed Loki's hair out of his face, gently brushing through it with her fingers. He most certainly would never allow this if he was awake, but after all the trouble, she needed a little comfort and this was just able to do it for her. A few moments later, her eyes fluttered shut and she fell into a restless, but much needed sleep.
"Ivy." She heard her name, but her mind wasn't quite there yet.
"Ivy." It echoed through her head once more, louder this time, and she started to wake up. "IVY!"
She startled awake, looking into concerned green eyes shortly above her. She needed a second, but then, without thinking, she threw herself at Loki, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. The impact caused him to lose his balance, and he fell onto his back with a loud thud. Luckily, he had only been kneeling above her.
Despite the short fall, Ivy refused to let go and buried her face in his neck.
"Well, ouch…" He commented quietly, but unable to hide a slight touch of amusement from his voice as finally he also wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her tightly against him.
For the longest while, neither dared to say another word, afraid to break the precious moment between them. The sun was already rising, bringing light to the little opening.
"You did it." Loki finally said, his head leaned against hers. He could feel her hot breath brushing against his neck, and her heartbeat echoing in his chest. "You used you magic to save someone."
He felt her stiffen in his arms, before she lifted her head up just enough to look at him.
"Yeah, no." She said quietly, looking almost sad, before she lifted herself off him, sitting back against the stone wall. Loki immediately missed her warmth and the comfort of her body against his, but he mimicked her actions, sitting down next to her.
"I didn't use magic." She finally said, and it only came out as a whisper. "I couldn't do it." Her face fell in disappointment with herself.
"But you saved me nonetheless, which makes it even more impressive." He smiled at her as reassuringly as he could... She really shouldn't feel bad for doing something good and selfless.
"I had help." She stated calmly, but avoided his eyes. "From your brother."
"You asked THOR for help, out of all people?" Loki looked at her incredulously. "How could he have been of any help?"
Ivy let out a snort. "To be honest, I now totally understand your desire to stab the man. And all the eye-rolling… He is very special." She laughed to herself. "But he loves you dearly, he really does."
"I know." Loki sighed. "But that's his own fault!" He chuckled and watched Ivy from the corner of his eye. She seemed exhausted… But he was curious now.
"So, how was he of any help to you? And how did you get him to help in the first place? He's not really easy to argue with…" He asked curiously, his face now fully turned to her.
"Well, he tried to cut my throat while still sleeping, I assume…" Ivy laughed lightly, but continued as she saw Loki's jaw clench. "He didn't hurt me! I did that thing you do with him, you know, the illusion."
That brought a smile to Loki's face. "Oh really? How did you know you needed to do that?"
"Well, it's not quite that different to the illusions I usually do. It wasn't very difficult, but a very clever idea." She sighed and brought her knees up to her chest, enjoying the warmth of Loki's side resting against her own. "Well, then I showed him some of the memories you shared with me. And before you kill me, I only showed him memories the two of you shared in your childhood. No feelings, nothing that came after. It served to assure him that you trust me, since you showed your memories to me."
"I trust you more than anyone." He stated as a matter of fact, eyeing her curiously.
"Yeah, and that got him to help me. And the fact that he didn't want you to die." She winked at him and smiled. "He also got a few of his friends to help us. They were not quite happy with the fact that they helped to prevent your death, but they probably helped for Thor's sake."
Loki rolled his eyes. Of course they wouldn't help Ivy for her own sake. "Were they rude to you?"
"Yeah, actually. But I could very well ignore that after I punched the blond man in the face." She smiled to herself at the memory, looking down at her bruised knuckles. There hadn't been any time to heal it yet.
"May I?" Loki asked and gently took her wounded hand in his. In less than a minute, it was perfectly healed and the pain was gone.
"I could've done that myself, you know…" Ivy smiled at him.
"I know." He replied, smiling back just the same. Her hand remained in his though.
"So, why did you punch Fandral in the face?" He asked with amusement, even though he was quite sure to know the answer to that already.
"He said he wanted to stab me." Ivy said equally amused, making sure to remember the name Loki had just given blonde guy.
Loki frowned, having expected a different answer. "Literally?"
"Nah… He probably just wanted to have his own ways with me, in his bed." She laughed. It was something she had gotten quite used to, men trying to get her into their beds… It still disgusted her, but it didn't really surprise nor frighten her anymore. The guards in the city had been an exception, as they had insulted Loki. She couldn't possibly have let that slip.
Loki's face on the other hand fell at her words. "He shouldn't have done that." His voice was low and almost had a dangerous touch to it now. "No one shall speak about you like that. You're mine and mine alone."
"You're being quite possessive over someone you hated just a few days back." Ivy chuckled, but on the inside she felt as though lightning had struck her to the very core. Her heart beat too fast against her chest, her skin tingled as if electrified, and a hot and yet cold shiver ran down her back.
"I've never hated you, Ivy…" He said in a quiet voice that was equally husky as it was deep. "I only hated myself for liking you."
His voice did inexplicable things to her, and Ivy had to fight for her eyes to stay open and locked with his. "You like me?"
"More than I should."
"How much more?"
He only shook his head to himself and smiled for a moment, looking down to the ground. "A lot more."
"Oh." She breathed, unsure of whether she had made him uncomfortable by her inquiry or simply amused him.
But then he looked up into her eyes once more, and Ivy could see everything he could not say out loud. She didn't know whether it was because he was afraid of it, or because he just didn't know how, but if he wasn't going to do something about it, then she would have to do it herself. So she looked back into his eyes with everything she felt but couldn't properly express, with every emotion, every ounce of doubt and every spark of hope. They stayed like that for a while, drinking in the other's emotions until everything was said, without as much as a word.
"How did you do that?" He finally asked, his brows furrowing.
"How did I do what?" Ivy asked, seemingly just as confused just as him.
"I could hear your thoughts in my mind." He leaned his head to the side and a slow smile played on his lips. "I'm very flattered by the way."
Now, this was one of the rare occasions when Ivy felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and she indeed blushed furiously.
"Don't be embarrassed, my sweet." He whispered, as he gently pushed her hair from her shoulder and leaned so close that his lips were brushing against Ivy's neck. "I feel just the same about you." Then he pressed a small kiss to the sensitive spot where Ivy's neck connected with her shoulder, making her shudder pleasantly.
Ivy only blushed even more as she felt the goosebumps run all over her skin… She hadn't known that a simple and oh so gentle kiss could set her whole body on fire and make her long for more. So much more…
"Ivy?" Loki's voice snapped her out of her daydream and back into reality. He was sitting so close to her, her shoulder touched his arm and their thighs were only an inch apart, which she immediately closed before she could stop herself. But she wanted to feel more of his body against hers.
"How did you do that?" He asked once more, eyes locking with hers. "How did you speak to me in my mind?"
"I didn't know I was doing that…" She answered honestly, still a little dazed from the rather titillating thoughts she had let herself indulge in for the shortest moment.
Loki frowned, placing his hand on her knee and drawing circles with his thumb. He enjoyed touching her, not only because it made her all flustered, but also because he could be sure that she was still there with him, alive and well. Now that he had let himself get this attached to someone, he was not going to lose her. He would make sure of that.
In the shortest time, she had become his anchor, the focus point his universe orbited around, the one thing he couldn't live without. The suddenness of his feelings for her scared him, but he also couldn't bring himself to really care, nor to fight it anymore. He wasn't one to fall easily, but if he did fall, he did with everything he had.
"Maybe I could try again? You know, to talk to you without words?" Now it was Ivy's turn to pull him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, do that…" He answered, still caressing her knee. "I'm curious."
Ivy closed her eyes and tried to think of something to say. She let her mind wander to what she had done before, how she had gotten into his mind.
'I enjoy that.' Her voice echoed through his mind.
"You enjoy what?" He asked with a smirk, making Ivy look at him.
"It worked?!" She smiled brightly, her eyes shining with excitement. "I meant I... enjoyed trying this mind thing."
"Are you sure?" He murmured, letting his hand wander from her knee to her inner thigh, drawing lazy lines so softly it annoyed her.
A small sigh escaped her lips and her head fell back against the stone wall behind her. Loki relished the sight, a small smirk playing on his lips as he couldn't stop teasing her.
"Stop that…" She breathed, 'Don't stop.' Her mind responded and Loki couldn't help himself but laugh out loud.
Ivy sat up straight immediately, and frowned at him in the cutest embarrassment. "Stop laughing!"
"But it's adorable to see you try to resist your own mind." He grinned at her.
"It would surprise me if you did any better!" She replied, but decided to validate it at a different time. Instead she scooted a few feet away from him, earning a small noise of disapproval which made her smirk even more.
She retrieved the book of plants from her bag and threw it over to Loki who caught it with one hand and flipped it open with a smile. "That's how you saved me?"
"Yup…" Ivy answered, making a popping noise on the 'p' before she sat down cross-legged, facing Loki this time. That way they could have a serious conversation without getting distracted yet again.
"We searched for that damn book forever. Took six people to find it in time." Ivy explained.
"I hate that I'll have to thank them for helping you…" Loki sighed.
"I wouldn't thank them if I were you. They kept complaining about me, about something that's yours…" Ivy grinned, earning an eye-roll from Loki.
"What did they say?" He asked curiously though.
"Oh, just how much I reminded them of you, and how utterly and terribly that disgusted them." Ivy laughed, remembering their annoyed faces.
"I would've assumed it was a compliment."
"So did I!" They both laughed, shaking their heads at the bunch of people who once were Loki's friends.
Then, Ivy remembered what beard guy had said. "Loki, the man with the huge beard…"
"Volstagg." Loki commented in between.
"Well, Volstagg said that there have been quite a few incidents of poisoning in the city. They can't figure out who does it, nor how to help the victims, since they seem to be unable to identify the poison in the first place."
Loki averted his eyes, but listened carefully to every word Ivy was saying.
"They think it's coincidence, but I came to believe otherwise. I mean, we both have been unlucky enough to be poisoned, and both times they used Midgardian plants!" Ivy said with an odd excitement in her voice, clearly engrossed in her thoughts. "How could there possibly be such a coincidence? It's a different plant every time and the poison is spread randomly around the city. I mean, at first I thought it was only an attack on the royal family. A one-time thing I happened to stumble into. But then, with all the other incidents… I mean I'm not the kind of person who is selfless enough to save the people of Asgard from poisoning just because it's the right thing to do."
That statement made Loki snort, but Ivy continued anyway.
"I want to stop the person who does this. I have to. Not because it's the right thing to do, but because they hurt you." She said and nudged his leg with hers.
"I…" Loki started with a small smile, touched by her words. "You can't possibly punish everyone who ever hurt me."
"But I can try nonetheless. And I most definitely will." She smiled brightly at him, nudging his leg yet again.
"They also poisoned you, does that mean I also have to end them?" He asked with a small laugh, amused by her eagerness to do 'the right thing'.
"Of course! I'm surprised you haven't come up with that before." Ivy grinned and once more nudged his leg.
"If you do that just one more time, I will have to stop you… and you won't enjoy that." He growled, but something in his voice told her that she would indeed enjoy it very much. But now wasn't the time to find out. Unfortunately.
"I have thought of ending the person who did that to you every second since I first got word that you were hurt in my prison cell." He said calmly, yet without the previous flirtatious undertone.
"Your cell?" Ivy questioned.
"Yes, my cell. It's where they lock me up every time they feel like it. The barrier is slightly different than the other cells. The magic, you know…" He trailed off. "It's not of much importance. But yes indeed, I have had the thought quite a lot. Only that until now, there was no indication as for where to look."
"Great. Let's go." Ivy said and nudged him in the leg once more, just to annoy him. Then she got up and turned her back to him, slowly walking towards the middle of the opening. She could hear him getting up as well, his quiet footsteps following closely behind her. Once she stopped in the middle of the opening, he was right behind her the next second.
"I told you not to do that." He whispered in her ear, leaning close to her from behind.
"And I never said I wouldn't." Ivy smirked, preparing herself for whatever was about to happen. But for what happened next, she was not prepared at all.
_____________________________
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coyotesongwriting · 5 years ago
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When It Rains, It Pours - Ch. 14
Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader
Chapter 14 - The Truth
Story Summary:  Things are going great between you and Bucky, until one day they aren’t. He dumps you, not knowing that what you’d wanted to talk to him about was the positive pregnancy test you held behind your back.
Chapter Summary: It's time for you two to clear the air.
Author’s Note: Thank you guys for reading this, all mistakes are my own!
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha
Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):    @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark  @samsgoddess @redfoxwritesstuff​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @fookingmuffins​ @yasnooshka24​ @redfoxwritesstuff​ @amazon-belle​ @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven​ @kinkywitchy​ @superwonderwholock​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @paranoiadestroyah​ @cool-kids-cant-be-dead​ @sarcastic-and-cool​
Previous Chapter
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If you thought he’d been sleep deprived before, you weren’t prepared for the heavy bags under his eyes. You hadn’t seen him that exhausted since he’d first joined the team and had been battling his nightmares. When was the last time he had slept through the night?
You leaned against the wall and slowly sunk down, closing your eyes as you leaned back to rest your head against the cool wall. You didn’t look as he joined you, sitting against the wall, close enough to reach out and touch but it felt like miles as you remembered all the late-night talks with the two of you side-by-side, sitting together as the world moved around you.
“Bucky, I don’t want to talk. Not anymore, I can’t do this” you sighed, your voice dropping to a whisper before you continued, “I can’t take it anymore babe…”
“Please, just give me a chance Doll… Hear me out this one time and I won’t ever ask you to again” he begged, his voice was low.
“Do I even get a choice?”
He nodded slowly, “Yeah, you get a choice. I’m done making decisions for you… If you tell me to shut up, I’ll just sit here with you until the doors unlock.”
You didn’t respond and you pulled your knees up against you, wrapping your arms around them as you rested your chin on them. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you studied him out of the corner of your eye. He was sitting rigid, staring straight ahead as he waited for you to decide. To those who didn’t know him, he would just look like a man lost in thought. You could see the nerves beneath the surface, the tension brewing in him like a storm.
You took a shuddering breath and closed your eyes tightly, “Okay”
“Is that… okay shut up or okay talk?” he asked softly, trying to bite back the hope in case you meant for him to be quiet.
“Okay, you can talk” you explained, turning to look at him, the side of your head now cushioned on your arms.
Bucky sat up slowly, afraid that if he moved too fast you’d spook like a wild animal. He shifted to sit facing you, the palms of his hands resting on his knees as he sat, legs crisscrossed. Nervously, he brushed the hair out of his face and let out a slow breath before he began.
“[Y/N] I need you to know I did - do - love you. I’ve never stopped. You’ve always been the one for me, and I miss you more than I can say every day that I’m not with you. I know you think I don’t love you, and you have every reason to think that because of what I did, what I said. I know I should have talked to you about it all when Loki first started in on me.
“But I didn’t, Doll. God, if I could go back in time I would, I’d sit you down and tell you everything. Instead, I let Loki tell me that you’d finally realized I was too fucked up. I let him convince me that you’d be happier without me. That you were planning on dumping me that night. I let myself listen to his lies and it wasn’t long before I began to believe them.
“I mean, you’re you, baby. You’re amazing and funny and sweet and always quick with a smile for your team. And I’m me, damaged and broken. What in the hell had I done to deserve you? Of course, you finally came to your senses. I didn’t decide not to talk to you because I don’t love you, or because I don’t trust you. I didn’t talk to you about it because it made total sense that you’d be done with me.
“At first I was determined to do better, be better, to win you back. I wanted to convince you to stay with me. And then it dawned on me you’d be better without me. You could move on and be happy without having to worry about me freaking out in a crowd, or me waking up in the middle of the night screaming. You deserve so much more.
“And I know you, you’re so sweet. And so caring. I didn’t want you to feel bad, I didn’t want you to feel guilty for dumping me. I thought if I broke up with you first, you’d feel relieved. I thought you’d be happy… So I said the stupidest thing I could come up with, something you couldn’t argue.”
Bucky stopped, dragging his flesh hand through his hair. You didn’t speak, your mind racing as you processed everything he said. His metal hand began to flex against his knee, clenching and unclenching as the nerves took over. Wordlessly, you reached over to grab his metal hand in warm hand, your fingers softly intertwining as you began to rub soothing circles into the back of his hand as you had so many times before.
After a long moment, he continued, “I never knew how much it could hurt to be away from you, Doll. I never thought you’d leave, I thought I’d just have to watch you from afar. I didn’t count on not seeing you for almost two years. I thought I’d lose my mind when the only thing Thor would tell me is that you were okay. It killed me to not know how you were really doing and I realized I had fucked up but I didn’t know what to do about it.
“And then, Steve showed me a picture of you and Aspen smiling together and I realized just how bad my screw up had been. I realized I’d given up everything I had ever wanted, needed, because Loki got into my head. And I didn’t know how to tell you the truth when I saw you again. Then Loki was always there and you were happy and I thought I had to give you up, but Doll, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give you up, not to him.
“I’m so sorry Doll… I would take it all back if I could. I know it doesn’t mean much anymore, but I love you…” his voice trailed off, eyes staring down at the floor in between the two of you.
With your free hand, you wiped the tears from your eyes, gently squeezing his hand in your own. Neither of you spoke, your mind racing as you tried to put everything together. He refused to look at you, afraid of what he’d see.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Bucky, I never wanted you to be anyone but yourself. I know you think - thought? - that you’re a bad person but you’re not. You’re stubborn and playful and I’ve never met someone as loyal and brave as you. You always made me want to be better, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I just wish you’d talked to me… Maybe we wouldn’t be here. Maybe you would have known Aspen from the start…. Maybe we would still be together.”
“Were you ever going to tell me about her?” his voice was barely a whisper, the question he’d been too afraid to ask seemed to echo around the room.
“Yes. I didn’t mean to keep her from you but every time I thought about coming back here or telling you it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified you’d tell me you didn’t want her, and I didn’t know how I’d handle that… I was scared.” you admitted.
“What were you going to tell her… About me?” his eyes studied the wall across the room as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“I was going to be as honest as I could be. Tell her that her dad was another Midgardian who I’d worked with and we’d been good together until we weren’t. Figured by that time she’d be old enough to come visit you if she wanted so I’d have to tell you by then, and if you wanted, she could come visit. I know it wasn’t my best decision but I got scared and didn’t know what to do…”
Leaving your hands nestled together, he slowly moved to sit in front of you sitting so close your legs were softly brushing together. Slowly you moved to mimic his position, the two of you sitting with your legs crisscrossed, knees touching. You bit your lip, glancing down at your hands before looking up at him through your lashes. He reached up, cupping your cheek in his hand and you leaned into it, eyes sinking closed.
“Give me another chance, Doll. Let me prove that I love you, I’ll never let you go again” he pleaded, his hand falling back to his side slowly.
“We’re not the same people anymore, Bucky. I’m not the woman you knew, I’ve changed… What if we’re just too different now?” you looked anywhere but at him as you voiced your fear.
“What if we’re not? Please Doll, one chance. Just give me one chance to prove to you we can try again.”
Eventually, you nodded once, “One date, Bucky. If we can’t make it work though, we have to move on. We have to figure out how to be friends, for Aspen’s sake, Okay?”
He nodded, smiling gently at you, “I swear you won’t regret this, [Y/N].”
His eyes quickly wandered to look at your lips before back up to meet your gaze. You blushed softly, pulling your lower lip slightly in between your teeth as you smiled up at him. His hand was still resting against your face, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. The moment seemed to linger as he carefully leaned in stopping an inch away, his eyes searching yours for permission. Slowly, you leaned forward and met his lips.
The kiss started slow, nervous. It didn’t take long before his hands rested on your hips and you were in his lap, your fingers tangled in his hair. He kissed you like a drowning man searching for a last breath of air, desperate and needy. For a moment, everything was right with the world.
And then, it wasn’t. A piercing wolf whistle pierced the silence as the doors opened, and you let out a low groan, burying your head in his shoulder. Bucky growled, his hands still gripping your hips as he glared over your shoulder at Clint.
“Hadn’t heard anything from you two in a bit, we were starting to get worried. Apparently, that wasn’t needed” Clint smirked, “Anyways, looks like you two love birds don’t need to be grounded anymore. You can come join us for dinner if you aren’t too busy.”
Bucky grabbed an empty vial off the counter next to you and chucked it at Clint’s head. Unfortunately, Clint had already ducked around the corner and the glass shattered against the wall instead. You let out a breathy chuckle against his neck, before carefully sliding off his lap.
Bucky got to his feet, and helped you to yours, pulling you into his chest. You pecked him on the cheek before stepping back out of his space. His hand quickly found yours, and you smiled over at him as the familiar sense of peace he'd always given you settled in, warm and comforting like a fireplace in a blizzard.
Your hands still entangled, you rejoined the group in the dining room. The others were all smiling and glancing down at your hands as you settled into the empty seats they’d saved for the two of you, no one wanting to draw attention to the affection you two were showing. Everyone but Clint of course.
“Glad you two could join us” Clint smirked, winking at you across the table.
After a long pause, you smiled at him, your grin predatory, “5… 4…”
“Clint? Run” Nat laughed.
His eyes flew wide, and he jumped to his feet, racing out of the room. As he rounded the corner, he started to slip in his socks and had to catch himself on the wall as he fled. You continued your countdown until he was out of the room and then laughed softly, stealing the water glass Clint had left behind.
“So, are you going to get him or..?” Bucky chuckled, squeezing your hand in his.
“Nah, I’m content to just let him run. It’s more fun to leave him stressing” you shrugged, leaving Nat laughing at your plan.
Dinner that evening was fun, it seemed like a heavy fog had lifted from the group. Clint never returned to the table, and you knew he was out there hiding, worrying about how you’d get him back. Throughout dinner, you and Bucky worked together to take care of Aspen, taking turns feeding her and entertaining her while the other ate. You and Bucky never stopped touching during dinner, whether it be your knees brushing against one another or your pinky fingers linking.
When everything had been cleaned up after dinner and everyone had settled in on the couch to watch a movie, Clint finally returned to the group. He muttered under his breath and watched you warily as he took a seat by Natasha, as far as he could get from you in the room. You merely winked at him, waiting for Bucky to return from putting Aspen to bed in your room. Friday would let you know if she woke or anything happened, and you knew she’d be safe so you were kind of excited for an adults-only evening.
Lady Sif had curled up next to Steve, her head resting on his shoulder and he stared down at her, eyes blown wide and face as red as a tomato. The poor man was stiff as a board and you were trying so hard not to laugh at the panic on his face. As Bucky settled back into the couch next to you, you smiled at him then turned back to Sif and Steve.
“You doing okay over there, Steve?” you teased.
“What? Yeah. No. Of course. I’m fine.” he stammered, his blush deepening.
“I told you, Sif” you snickered, “You’re going to break the poor man.”
Sif merely shrugged at you, her eyes dancing playfully as she leaned into Steve more. You were beginning to worry the super soldier was actually uncomfortable when you noticed the soft way he looked at her, and you began to wonder if there really was something there or if he was just too worried about offending her to push her away. Before you could bug her again, Bucky pulled you against his side. You weren’t sure what tomorrow would bring, or if there would be a future for the two of you, but if there wasn’t you didn’t want to have wasted a single moment not touching him when you could have.
As the movie started, you snuggled into him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. Slowly, you fell asleep, tucked into him. You didn’t see the way he smiled softly down at you, his fingers slowly combing through your hair as you slept on him. It was the best sleep you’d had in a long while honestly.
When the movie finally drew to a close, Steve sprang away from Sif and quickly retreated, claiming he needed to be up early. As the others dispersed, Nat showing Sif where the guest rooms were, Bucky slowly got to his feet and picked you up. You burrowed into his chest, letting out a content sigh as he carried you to your room.
You let out a quiet groan of protest when he set you carefully on your bed. For a moment, you thought about asking him to stay but even in your exhaustion you knew it was too soon for that, you both needed space and time to figure out how you were going to make this work. He kissed you gently on the forehead, then did the same for Aspen before retreating to his room.
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