#because the app fucking sucks
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Them being friends is one of the funniest dynamics because she's the exact opposite of Mr Depression Incarnate. (Right is absolutely fascinated by their friendship since he likes observing people and he notices how much investment Brent has in making Karen stay Not Disappointed compared to literally every other coworker he talks to)
#oops i fell in love#theyre just good beans !#i think while right probably gets more open vents about the banker who ghosted karen that karen wanted to ghost#brent doesnt get them much? just knows shes angry at her phone about something ??#so when he gets told that she made sure paul and her guy know shes busy that night having dinner w friends (right and brent)#right is like damn you had to clarify to mr dating app ? sucks to be you but why him#and shes like fucker texted me after we matched again and offered me dinner i had to decline for this#and brent is so concerned that she might be getting harassed bc he doesnt know about rick and asks her if shes being bothered by someone#and right has to just laugh because no no thats the problem - hes too nice to be a bother and thats why karen cant stand him#and karen is like yeah i cant be mean during meals with him so it takes a lot of restraint ya know#and no brent doesnt know ? he has no idea what to make of this at fucking all
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i've been working on writing up a post for my main project fanbase to let them know what the plan is for my return to Time Gate and what I wanna do going forward in 2024
it was a whole ass essay as most of my posts are
but honestly i think a lot of my feelings can simply be summed up as:
#my goal for 2024 is to catch up all my other sites with the current updates so i can finally leave this shit app#so p much just comic fury global comix and tumblr maybe#and then real life interactions and markets because those have literally been so much better for my comic than WT ever has#i'm coming for you WT#just like i did to tapas#i'm done with posting my comics to what's essentially just social media#corporate apps can suck my dick#going back to BASICS y'all#webtoon#webtoon sucks#fuck webtoon
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Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity
#got some memories with that app#at first it was just sitting there bc I couldn’t stop myself from tracking the calories of some things#but after a 13 day streak shit could only get worse so I deleted it#proud of myself#that thing had me in chokehold last year did not want a repeat#tw myfitnesspal#tw mentions of eating disorder#random post#ooc post#kind of vent#???#started to wake up stressed out about what I’m gonna eat and I was like nooo not ts again#was literally restricting myself to 1200 cals a day AND IM 5’7#tw eating issues#sucks when you’re not even underweight so you don’t feel valid#waitttt I was not meant to trauma dump in this post#can we not bring being 2000s model skinny back into being trendy bc why are body types a tend in the first place#I can change fashion but definitely not my body#no bc this world is fucked up why was I scared to die alone bc I wasn’t skinny when I was literally 10#I hate that it’s normalized to praise people’s bodies#like idc if that makes me soft but a girl just living and everyone just talking about how good her body is#why is that okay bc yes it is positive but it also creates so many negatives#like does anyone get what I mean#it’s a compliment but it also makes everyone including that person afraid to be anything but ‘body goals’#idk how to explain it but like imo bodies shouldn’t serve aesthetic purposes#they actually have functions and needs and they allow us to live#tw body image issues#I hate wiead’s too but that’s just because why is everyone’s food so gourmet I literally just slap some butter onto toast lol#late night post
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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I got one of those automated job offer emails that was made with AI and they even generated a "profile" for me based on information scraped from my various online accounts (I assume). It said I prefer locations outside of where I currently live and that I'm willing to relocate for the right opportunity.
I never said that. If anything, I only ever said the opposite of that. You tried, Word-Order-Machine, you tried.
#also it was offering me a job at Cam's old workplace that he left because it sucked ass THE ONE WITH MASSIVE LAYOFFS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW#like how can your machine learning be so stupid that it can state all the apps I know how to use and all the fields I'm competent in#and still offer me an entirely irrelevant position to my profile and expertise#I'm an artist an animator a filmmaker at the very most - I feel like that's almost a stretch#why on earth would I apply to SOFTWARE DEVELOPER or PROGRAMMER or any of that you stupid fucking machine#text#bitching#personal
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OH MY GOD I’ve never brought up Nephilim!!! I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM BUT IVE ENTIRELY NEGLECTED TO SAYYYY ANYTHING OH MY GOSH….
Ok so. Angel right. You know the omori character named Angel- well, I used reflection (hero) to symbolize Basil’s self worth issues so you’re never gonna guess what Angel turns into- yeah. Yeah a creature that symbolizes Basil’s religious anxieties
Why is called ‘Nephilim’? Well IN THE BOOK OF ENOCH- (<- lost it, this is an omori au, why am i talking about Nephilim) which is considered one of the unofficial books of the Bible (those are a thing, yeah) (I AM GREATLY SUMMARIZING BY THE WAY) (THIS IS NOT HOW I WOUPE TALK AHOUT TJIS USUALLY BUT IT IS LATE AND I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN) the origin of these creatures called Nephilim is explained, these creatures are supposed to the children of angels and humans, which biblically speaking is an abomination
But for the sake of my omori au (STAY WITH ME) this is a very cool and interesting being to design, and making Angel an ACTUAL ANGEL would’ve been a little too op for that character… so what IS a Nephilim if not an Angel? Well it’s a Giant. Of course. Duh (<- again. Lost it)
Which is ✨amusing✨ because Angel is the smallest hooligan, so turning him to the largest monster in Marzenie (not counting the water beast) (ignore that) (not right now) (it’s one in the morning when I’m typing this and I am NOT elaborating at the moment) is a silly haha
Also Nephilim are very interesting and I need an excuse to put them in my work somewhere (iceberg boy has me on that giant juice) (please don’t question that)
Anyway
So!! That’s what I’m doing with Angel!!
#omori!marzenie#I just got a reminder from my alarm app that it’s time to go to bed…. yeah#this au has really become something else#… once I draw Nephilim I’ll have to update my character scale#you know#because BIG#heheheheheheh#I’m so excited to draw this fucking thing#let me think#I need to draw Aubrey. I need to draw Charlene and I need to draw Vance#GOD IM SO SCARED TO DO AUBREY#I have … such a visual in my brain of what she looks like#the beetle.#Charlene is also gonna suck because of all the swords#Vance? I genuinely don’t know#this guy stumps me#I’ll probably save him for after Mari#and after Basia#and after the priest and the woodsman…..#Vance might never happen#PFT sorry if you like Vance but I’m SO LOST WITH HIM#what am I gonna do with this guy …#OH AND THE TWINS#I have a vague idea for the twins#… and I’ve been talking with Soto about what I’ll do with Mewo#she’s gotta be in Marzenie of course#god what else…#OH FUCKING KEL#how’d I forget#ok I think that’s all and also I’m out of tags
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How do i even fucking answer that. Genuinely. Do i even answer that. I dont really think ic are that much anymore
#shes not really all that#I can just cancel on her tbh#Because like. Literally whats the point#Ok we can hang out sure whatever sure I dont care though? I dont#that's not why i was interested. Like she seems great to be clear and i do love talking to her#but like. Im not even like. A complete person.#Its ok. Im going to just ride out today and tmrw i will probably be logical even though I think i just am going to delte the app#bc Whats the fucking point !#Yeah lets friendly style go to a flea market. Fucking sure. On the dating app. Sure.#and everyone is like that sucks but you know that its good she told you - Yeah but i didnt want to fucking know that#Nobody gets how hard it is to always hear I want to fuck you from people you don't like and hear#I can't be with you because you won't fuck me. from people you do like#WHATEVER it seems like all my friends are having good days and I like did a thing and its not like any of this matters#Because ill cancel on her and that will give me more time to do something productive that day#And all this is good becausei can just get ahead on my fucking work#and instead of me being there my two friends who are dating can like cuddle and I just dont have to be involved at all#and she can just. Whatever. I don't really like her anyway#'lets be friends' in the context of something that isnt that is such an afterthought I understand that culturally.#Ik this is all really amatonormative and i realize im being a dick in that way. I do have more sensible opinions generally i assure u#but like. yeah man nobody will want to date me unless i fuck them. Awesome news. Should i just kill myself.#will mare ever actually have a truly requited relationship? despite having been in three? Stay tuned
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holy fuck Krita has a motherfucking app in development
#blou talks#krita#testing it out right now#and I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY#because all the other app options just suck or are like ibis paint x#I don't want to watch adds or be restricted in my layers#kissing Krita developers
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Found out me thrashing apps on play store actually gets attention. My favorite is when the app team responds with "sucks that you think we suck. we will do nothing"
#checked that spam email folder#Alternatively “you dont understand but we need to make it worse to make money sucks that you don't like it”#mind if i cite your company in my suicide note? bc jfc#like if you going to respond think a little because this is worse than silence#once left a glowing review#then after a year or so that app updated and destroyed the core functionality and added subscription model#fucking innovation inbreeders#i dont swear there but i think that makes me sound more aggressive actually#also there's no place to say it so yeah play store review writing window doesn't support some automatic grammar things and it drives me mad#the complainer#<- me#im getting all the clout in the places that do not matter
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I started making a fake book cover for @firstelevens latest amazing fic sugar pie, honey bunch and then I got kind of obsessed with making book covers in Canva, so I decided to make covers for a few more of my favorite sambucky fics of hers to show my appreciation for her writing keeping me sane the last few months ♥️
by land, by sea, by dirigible [18K words, 6 chapters, complete] - Sam and Bucky team up with the dynamic duo from Marvel's Cloak & Dagger (RIP) and magic, literally, ensues. 🔮⚜️
sugar pie, honey bunch [AU, 55K words, 17 chapters, complete] - the plot of TFATWS except it's behind the scene of an all-star season of The Great British American Bake Off. Alliances are formed, conspiracy theories come to life on twitter, and whisks (and hearts!) are stolen. 🥐💖
a friend of any sort [AU, 3K words, 2 chapters, Part 1 in a series, complete] - Sam needs a fake date for Thanksgiving at his sister's and brings Bucky along to be the most unsuitable, obnoxious boyfriend ever, so his family will leave him alone about being single. Things do not go to plan. 🥧🦃
you can sing me anything [AU, 4K words, 1 chapter, Part 2 in a series, complete] - sequel to a friend of any sort, in which Bucky needs Sam to return the favor and pretend to be his boyfriend to get him out of an awkward situation (and into a better, but still kind of awkward situation). ☕😻
#not a graphic designer by ANY means#i'm paying for canva pro as part of my job hunt and i have decided to try to use it for joyous things too#and not just resume stuff which is soul sucking#anyway we like to have fun here at birdhapley incorporated and that includes making weird art for our friends#check out zainab's writing she's so talented and cool she deserves all the praise and flowers#and zainab congrats on completing the bakeoff AU it's a masterpiece and you are the GOAT#alsooooo if anyone has any snarky comments about canva book covers keep them to yourself 🥰 i'm a beginner and I'm having fun#their app is so annoying though that to download these I had to screenshot them#because when i downloaded the actual PNG files they were all fucked up#if anything looks wonky that's why#fic rec#fanart#(right?? technically??)#sambucky#tfatws#cloak and dagger#mutuals admiration society#firstelevens
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i deserve financial compensation for the amount of fucking hoops i had to jump through to enable tipping on here
#mar.txt#this is /j obviously i'm just trying to be lighthearted to cope with the Anger ha ha ha :)#oh the urge to throw my phone as hard as possible into a hard surface. but i cannot. not Yet at least. but once i get a job and can get a#new one......... this one's getting destroyed through Brute Force :)#lets see how many times did i have to re-login and redo Everything because the verification thing wouldn't accept my id picture bc it was#'too blurry' so i had to take a picture with my phone camera but i had to clear app caches first because this phone is constantly at 99-100#storage space. but Then because it fucking sucks ass and if i Breathe in the direction of another app whatever app i just tabbed off of#crashes and i have to reopen it. i had to log back in Again which meant waiting for the text message verification code Again (i live in the#middle of nowhere with a phone that Refuses to use the wifi for calls/texts and instead only uses the shitty cell service)#because Apparently tumblr users aren't allowed to stay logged in nor log in with a password. and Then i had to take a picture of the back#of my id too and i tried using my phone camera straight from the gallery option when i clicked upload. but because my phone sucks That also#crashed my browser and made me log back in. this isnt even counting btw how many times i TRIED to do it through tumblr but it kept stalling#and making me back all the way out log all the way back in and wait on it again for it to go further so i said fuck it and went to my#browser to do it. so i log back in and then i find out not only did attempting to take that picture crash my browser but it didnt even#actually TAKE the picture. so i have to click back over to my camera app Again and take the picture Again and log back in and wait the eons#it takes for things on this phone to load AGAIN. and then i Finally. FINALLY get it completed.#oh but did you think that was all? oh no i STILL had to log back in and load all the way back in Again through tumblr one final time to tel#the app i had done all that! and THEN i could turn tipping on. right?#no. i then had to close the app and reopen it again for it to Let me enable it. otherwise it just tried to take me back to stripe then#proceeded to give me an error message when i tried. great job tumblr#anyways that was infuriating#lmao i forgot to finish the original thought and check#anyways. around 7 or 8 times. that took almost a half hour of struggling i'm pretty sure. enraging☺
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the new safeway pharmacy app has been out for a fucking year and i still can't get my medications reliably mailed! two fucking weeks and it was never sent out! i never had this issue on the old app, which coincidentally also sent real email confirmations for orders instead of the shitty app showing you one popup confirmation and then never providing any other info. no real confirmation that's for damn sure
at least i didn't have to pay for it to not be delivered 🙄
but now i got a notification from the Albertsons pharmacy (??? i don't go to Albertsons?) that they're holding it for two more days before restocking, how considerate. so the length of time the pharmacy holds stuff, that you cannot find anywhere on their website, is in fact two weeks. at least i know that now!
#nadia rambles#i hate this fucking app. the ui sucks. they never mail deliveries. can't order refills for vyvanse via app because oh no stimulants#EVEN THOUGH THE INFORMATION THEY NEED TO CONFIRM IT OVER PHONE IS IN THE APP#like that's not more secure it's just extra steps! anyone with access to the app can see the number and say it on the phone!#you stupid fucking assholes (that's probably the govt's fault though)#but if they really need a real person to approve it they could just have the pharmacist approve the app order!#anyway i hate the app regardless#this on top of the fact that sometimes it sends me push notifications that i'm due to refill something i just got refilled#like two weeks ago or whatever#and it's like. no actually i just got this.#esp annoying cause they wouldn't even do a refill if i did try to put it in two weeks early!#the mail attempt wasn't vyvanse of course. they don't mail that! because again oh no spooky scary stimulants.
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The most horrifying thing to watch is Musk softening people up for far right propaganda and eroding access to free press, and literally beginning to push "news I deem as fake" off twitter completely or gagging them....
.... And no one doing anything about it because bird app fun and maybe it's happening so slowly they don't realize that it's actually getting dangerously bad for a lot of people.
Not the biggest of the problems by far, but recent, look at NPR. Less than 1% of its funding comes from the US government, and they're independently run, and they got labeled state run media (propaganda). Then downgraded to state funded, still not really accurate. Then when they left his precious app he has a whole frenzy whipped up calling for it to be de-funded.
A news organization hurt his widdle feelings and now he is using his platform to actively call for it to be de-funded entirely.
This isn't the end. He is just warming up. Who else was super anti-journalist?? Discredits any media that say things he doesn't like as fake news?
TWITTER IS JUST A PLATFORM FOR THE SECOND RICHEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TO TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT HE'D LIKE YOU TO THINK.
He's just trying to do it subtly enough you don't realize.
#slowly boiling pot and all that#it sucks because bird app fun#i miss bird app#would like to go back to bird app#But holy fuck its bad#really REALLY bad for us all
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here's the crux of the ai art issue that everyone is freaking out talking about right now (mostly on instagram)
uploading your art to the internet just like. inherently has these types of risks to it. just like your art being reposted by someone else is always a possibility when you upload, getting your art scraped is always a possibility, and that's just something that is borderline inevitable now. if your art exists online in 2023/2024, it's almost certainly been scraped, there are things you can do to discourage it, but short of not posting at all, its always a possibility
so like. seeing my instagram feed be a bunch of people acting as if it's a new thing rather than just something that was happening without necessarily being disclosed is wild to me, like i thought this was an assumption we were all working under,,,,,,,
#NOT saying that's a good thing. it's very bad and the state of the world is horrible and fuck ai art#BUT let's be realistic about this#if your stuff is online you lose that control over it. you send it out into the world. it sucks and you can do what you can#but you have a limited choice in the matter#and it's not like this is a new thing! there's just stronger tools to do bad shit now!#rauuvhghh okay anyways that's my rant because i'm tired of seeing everyone i follow pretend to jump ship to a new app that isn't gonna work#maybe i'm being pessimistic about this but like. come on#also everyone on instagram is posting these pseudo legal texts saying they don't consent to their work being used for ai but like#if you use the service you're agreeing to THEIR conditions. you do not hold the power in this situation. that message ain't doing shit#bwahhhhagshdgshhdh
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oh so now the birds are eating the <25 cherries i've got growing on my tiny tree
literally everything i've planted in this fucking garden has either died on its own or has been killed by birds/bugs
#my garden is a microcosm of my whole life right now#my life has been on a downward spiral since last july and bestie i am starting to reach my fucking limit#defaulting to thinking ''i wish i were dead'' at every little inconvenience is BAD!!!! i know!!!! but it's true!!!#the mint from trader joe's was infested with aphids and i've been cleaning it off every day for 2 weeks and it's STILL got them#like... this plant is 1 foot tall with two little stalks and less than 30 leaves. it hasn't grown in the 2 months i've had it#the money plant still reeks of mold and has to live outside because of its smell and the fungus gnats#the golden sage just fuckin.... burned to death????? it turned gray and DIED#the one and only bean plant that sprouted just ejected the only 2 true leaves it bothered growing#the originally robust blackberry cane is withering. the other two did get better but started from the ground up. there's 1 blackberry total#the rosemary hasn't gotten any bigger in the 3 months i've had it#the scotch brooms don't look so good. the salvia haven't gotten any bigger in 3 months and the creeping phlox bleached and died#the thyme is doing okay and the culinary sage is hanging in there but i don't have high hopes#not a single fucking wildflower sprouted in the yard. i used 2 bags of seed+mulch that was supposed to cover 600sq ft (the yard is 400)#the mourning doves ate a bunch of the seeds and the rest never sprouted#there's a few puny sunflower sprouts but the cottontail came and ate some of those leaves#the cottontail also ate an entire stalk of the potted mystery flowers#the huge plant i moved in November... the one that surprisingly survived frost/freeze... can't handle the heat and is now dead#i just...#the job market is awful. the salaries are worse. the neighborhood is in the middle of nowhere and inhabited by paranoid cops#everyone has big dogs who go apeshit when they hear ppl walking#and the fences are short and the dogs are big so i'm scared to go walking because EVERY. DAY. on the nextdoor app are people#announcing that they found a dog wandering the neighborhood. or ppl saying ''omgggg my dog got out of the yard! have u seen it?''#spring was all wind/gusty and it battered the blackberries and sucked all the moisture out of the yard#so the 2 tons of compost that we rototilled into the dirt? it's just dust now. there's nothing living in that soil#and now summer is here and it's too hot and these plants don't have a chance#i hate everything
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uhhhh cw? I talk about adhd struggles
the worst part about getting diagnosed with adhd is needing to come to terms that this is actually a real disability that I have that does affect basically every aspect of my life. it's fun to laugh along to adhd jokes and relatable content and think haha sorry my adhd makes me a lil funny silly guy sometimes. but. at the end of the day. this is a disability. and one I live with. and one that gets debilitating some days. and one that very much fucks up with my life and my plans more than I'd like to admit. acknowledging and admitting that this is a real thing that very much gets in the way of my life and makes things that are easy for others so difficult for me. that's genuinely the hardest part. cause once you do? it's hard to not feel hopeless. or scorned. like you've been dealt an unfair hand. and cause when you admit that, then you also gotta admit that youre spending the rest of your life working doubly hard than everyone else. and there's nothing you can do about it.
#rant#misc#personal#adhd#sorry grad program apps and assignments and uni are all getting hard#someones asked me if i wish i dont have adhd because it makes up so much of my personality and who i am#and i guess they were expecting that like its a defining part of who i am that i wouldnt want to change#i laughed and said fucking absolutely i do#id give any money in the world to not have adhd#adhd is so normalised now which is great because thats how people know and learn and recognise#that's how i got diagnosed#but the thing with how normalised it is is that the genuine struggles that come with it kinda get overshadowed by the funny quirks#the more palatable traits y'know#and so its hard to be taken seriously these days about it#its hard getting people to treat it like a real disability#and its almost embarrassing needing to explain yourself like yeah i have adhd and yeah thats why this is happening#so yeah i absolutely wish i never had adhd#id give anything in the world not to have adhd#cause this shit sucks and its so debilitating and im never able to do what i actually want or think i can
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