#because the ENTIRE ROOM IS COVERED IN IT
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SCREECHES
MOTHER SPORE
Part II
Thanks so much for the waiting! I know we kinda hype up the chapter too much but I hope it can live up to y'all guys expectations Once again thanks so much to maru for doing the flat colors and also for being an amazing writter and friend in general
#i think this might be the most visually appealing one so far#omg all the visuals in this one#ESPECIALLY THAT CLOSE UP PANEL RIGHT AFTER HOTGUY SHOOTS THE ARROW??#IT LOOKS SO MMSNCNSK?? /POS#AND THE WAY IT STILL LOOKS LIKE GRIAN BUT IT'S JUST OFF IN A WAY THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RECOGNISE HIM WITH THE HAT#AND TANGO BEING IMMUNE IN PART 1 MAKES SO MUCH SENSE TO ME NOW 😭😭 IT HATES HEAT AND TANGO IS FIRE#also the panel where it reveals Jimmy being the civilian on the tracker is actually so intimidating#because you can see just how much the fungi has taken over the in such a short time#because the ENTIRE ROOM IS COVERED IN IT#ALSO DDVAU RANCHERS EEEEGEJWJFJWJD STIMMING SO HARD THEY'RE SO DUMB BUT THEY'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER#AAHHH WAIT I JUST NOTICED THE WATCHER SYMBOL ABOVE GRIAN OH MY GOD????#from grian <3
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Honestly I cannot overstate how much seeing Hayden as TCW Anakin changed EVERYTHING. Matt Lanter's Anakin is a frat dude. He wears a backwards baseball hat and says vaguely offensive things without realizing, while being a fundamentally chill and outgoing guy at heart. Hayden's Anakin is... not that. His voice. His expressions. His physical presence. It's off somehow. It's just left of normal. It's completely unremarkable and yet deeply uncanny for reasons you can't quite describe. TCW Anakin was always a flatter, blander portrayal, but I don't think I realized until now what exactly was missing: the serial killer energy. The inarticulable conviction that SOMETHING unhinged is going on behind those eyes.
#also the difference between TCW anakin's charm and ROTS anakin's charm#tcw: outgoing. does finger guns. nonplussed socially sometimes but still confident. able to be charming#rots: competent. exuberant. frothing with rage. so shy and awkward he fully cant function. insecure. an entire tank yet fragile as glass#charming only because hes both SO COMPETENT and also so categorically unable to purposefully be charming#ITS SO DIFFERENT. WILDLY DIFFERENT. I DID NOT REALIZE HOW DIFFERENT IT WOULD BE#im so glad i got to see this honestly#im going to be reimagining tcw episodes with this version of anakin in them as my bedtime story from now on#i hate to be a broken record but KAREN MILLER CAPTURES THIS#star wars#grace for ts#anakin#ahsoka show#truly truly truly truly truly transformative for me as a person to have seen this#tcw anakin comes into the room loudly quipping and complaining#rots anakin stands there quietly until he smiles and you realize his teeth are covered in blood
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ttyd is an amazing game because all of your general information about enemies/npcs/areas is provided to you by a heavily opinionated college student
#skye's ramblings#now that i've beaten ttyd here's some of my favorite goombella commentary because i am absolutely obsessed with her#i used her on every room n npc i came across the entire game she is so fucking funny. goombella tell me everything. goombella drag this man#this doesn't even cover the tattle logs either. she's everything to me#my favorite of these is probably the palace of shadow one. buried palace housing a 1000 yr-old demon of hatred may indeed be cursed
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Random life update let's go!
So, in my house we have an aread w a dinning table outside, next to our yard, and in this place there is ou beloved celling fan that we haven't used in years because it was too weak and the warmth here needed a strong mechanism to dealt with it
Those last months, we notices that a couple of birds we're making a nest on the... idk the name to be honest but its like a small metal bowl right above the fan and we were quite amazed because :D even tho we do have some trees on the yard it's been years since I saw a nest
S o
Recently they hatched.
How did we discovered it?
Because a small baby bird FELL ON THE TABLE OUT OF NOWHERE
Now we're making plans to place a safety nest somewhere below the fan because the ground is very, very hard (pure concrete) and the nest is very small for the two babies (that I've seen until now) and the mother bird. Oh gosh ajvahwvwvsvwjw good morning to all of us I guess
#my mom grabbed the baby w her bare hands and I almost died because!!!!!! bruh!!!!!! the risk of the feathered mother not wanting it back-#-because it smelled now Human was very high! we put it on a fabric that i held and hopefully kept warm until it was responsive again#i put on the nest because of Tall Privileges and now it seems like she accepted it back but I am not sure since I don’t know for sure how#much small birbs there are there so. high hopes i guess.#we already dealt w fallen birds plenty of times before but!!!! they were never so small!!! really! it didn’t even had feathers covering#the entire body!!! the other ones were at least big enough that we just gave them some seeds. put in a high place and listened to it sing#until the parents went back for them. this one would need to be fed and kept warm and i don’t have this structure now to deal w that aughh#so. safety net it is. I wanted to put RIGHT RIGHT BELLOW the nest but I am afraid of scaring her away so were putting it#above the table instead. well. we most held our meals at our living room so gactqfwjwvywdwyfw yeah#kanene being kanene
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man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??
#at least at home we have people competent enough to not flush wet wipes and tampons down the toilet#let alone FOOD???#and we don't leave our dishes out for so long by the sink that they start to RUST#like ok my lil brothers make a mess sometimes and accidentally shat on the floor a few times but at least they're fucking children why tf#should i deal with shit water because of your incompetence#and yknow i can deal with noise. im the noisiest at night at home b/c i always go shower late but im not fucking SCREECHING and chatting#so loudly you'd think i was at a concert or some shit#and this bitch?? can't comprehend i just want to not have crumbs all over the couch???#like girl. how did this become a slight against you. why would i ask you to keep the couch clean b/c you slept there once or twice#BITCH I CLEANED THE COUCH COVER ON MY OWN DIME *BECAUSE* I KNEW YOU MIGHT SLEEP THERE AGAIN & WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN FOR YOU#YOU NOT ONLY INSULT ME BUT ENTIRELY MISCONSTRUE MY KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIRTY B/C YOU SLEPT THERE???#you can't make this shit up i hate having roommates holy hell#only slightly made up for by the fact i get a room to myself these days#the other one smells like weed all the time and the other other one doesnt wash her hands properly after using the toilet + keeps her dishe#out by the sink + doesn't pick her hair up#also i'm the youngest so that's just even sadder#i was also the youngest last year and bitch. you have no idea#this is what being the eldest sibling does to a mf#not really related but they made the ugliest doormat ever i wish i had been there to stop them from that atrocity#and why do they not take their shoes off. girl i mop the floors like every 2 weeks#it's fucking clean trust me just take them off bitch#am i being holier than thou? probably but fucking DESERVED#i can't be taking care of people two years older than me like this. yall have too much fucking drama
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i definitely dont have enough printer paper rn to do it but.... life goal is to print out some screenshots off of @paulmatthews and cover a wall with them. i shall create The Paul Wall™
#the paul wall#tagging this w 'the paul wall' in case i actually do it.... because i am tempted to give it a shot with the paper i do have rn......#they are 2x3 so it would take a lot of pages to cover an entire wall in my room#starkid#hatchetfield#paul matthews#i wonder#am i a majority of the posts in the paul tag????#because i feel like i tag him a lot LOL#oh well#if u r annoyed by my paulposting then feel free to block me#i probably would too tbh
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the big overlap is intentional and this is directly related to my last post!!!! people who are telling you we're so different are lying to you and the differences between us are not the fault of the trans community but can be exacerbated by the bigotry systemic to the cultures we live in across the world
#rape mention#abuse mention#transphobia#transmisogyny#trans#trans women#trans men#no i wasn't able to cover every lived experience between transfem/trans woman transmasc/trans man non-binary intersex and genderfluid#unfortunately i don't have that much room but this is a general thing here that i see a lot of people have as a point of contention#that we're all too different#im not involved in any trans community so this has been through outside observation and my own extremely rough transition#which i've done mostly entirely alone and haven't had any trans friends or support other than my boyfriend and my niece and thankfully#she's getting the support she deserves. im terrified for her sometimes because she's a trans girl in the south but she's smart and has#a good support system behind her#i dont want to get into the abuse i saw growing up trans but it was. more than just being yelled at and treated shittily.
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chat pro tip don’t have a mother that snores if you want to get any sleep at all
#have to share a bed because we’re traveling. get in bed at nine. nine oclock. 9.#she zonks the fuck out in minutes#and i am up at 1:30 because she’s a fucking lawnmower#so i move to the couch (covered in dog hair) (lamp in the living room i can’t turn off) (too short to be comfortable)#and i don’t go to sleep until 2:30 :| i had to wake up at 6:30 btw <3#and i have a ton of homework i have to do today#and i have to see like my entire moms side of the family#and deal with THREE DIFFERENT DOGS#yall it is not going well for me rn#cowboy cries cowboy tears
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i understand how peeta got so jacked from baking bread
#my hands turned purple from kneading and then i realized i forgot to add the butter#also my stupid fucking family member who i cant stand turned the light on and then fucking booked it out the door and left it open#so he can do his stupid fucking side quests in the yard#while my hands were covered in dough#i do not understand why my family insists on turning the kitchen light on when our kitchen is tiny as fuck and has an entire wall#that is just windows#there is enough sunlight coming in to illuminate the entire room because god forbid anyone closes the blinds#these people i live with are sick#anyways. another thing. my family member walks like a fucking homing missile#the way he always manages to get directly in my god damn way in our tiny ass kitchen#im not even that much shorter than him how fucking hard is it to walk so you dont run into me!#its not like he struggles with this sort of thing. he is Great at navigating corridors so as to not run into walls or furniture#he just doesnt give a shit about my presence specifically!!!#he just expects that i cant possibly be doing anything that warrants existing in the kitchen in the house that i lived in first!
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A thing I pre-ordered months ago has shipped!
What's the thing?
Keepsake Quilting, and several other quilt companies/stores, put a sort of gift box together with fabric, notions, patterns, and gift cards in them. You don't know what you're getting, making it a surprise. I have never purchased one because they're expensive. This was 50% upfront, 50% when shipped, for a total of $150. Considering how much is in it, and what reviews were left the last several years, it's a steal. Plus, I wanna treat myself after having such a stressful and unpleasant year.
My mom and one of aunts have ordered such boxes in the past, but according to my mom, they're disappointing because she has so many of the things in the package, or no use for many of them. Rulers (some of which cost $30), needles, rotary cutters and extra blades (blades can be $10/each, new cutters up to $50), fabric marking tools (chalk pencils, disappearing ink, etc), precut fabric collections (jelly rolls can be $80, fat quarter collections up to $100 depending on number of FQs), and yardage ($12.99-$21.99/yard). She's been disappointed by "ugly" fabric too many times.
I, on the other hand, have significantly fewer tools. I make things for people to buy, and some folks love fabric I cannot stand (like x-mas and patriotic prints). There have been fabrics I consider well and truly hideous, and those I list in my shop or sell to people here. One person's trash is another's treasure, right? I've met people who think pastels are ugliest things to have ever existed. I think baby pink and green military camouflage look fantastic together, as well as turquoise and light hemp brown or terracotta and peacock blue. My mom finds them hideous. I think pink and any shade of brown look terrible together, or red and khaki (likely from working at Target and seeing is everywhere). Again, personal taste.
If any of you ever fancy treating me to one of these random collections of fabric and/or notions, feel free to do so. They're the sort of surprise I enjoy (that and people purchasing my work, especially from my shop). Sure, there are things that may he of no use to me, but others can use them. Nothing goes to waste.
This package will be arriving on November 18th, and has me giggling with excitement!
#words from the artist#my year has been filled with my husband nearly dying and us having thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay AFTER#the financial aid program forgave three of the six bills. we have around $5k of thag left to pay off#and one of the bills has gone to collections#plus my ear issues that cleared up after over six months of torment. my husband had to quit his previous job because working in#kitchens was slowly killing him and is now working fulltime in theory but not getting enough hours#i've sold virtually nothing and have had to beg for aid because not enough money due to lack of hours and lack of sales#my asthma throwing a fit and my sewing room being entirely too hot to work in and remaining that way for weeks at a time#then my left wrist being injured and leaving me unable to do virtually anything.#my husband then being taken to court by Unemployment three years after receiving the money. oh and being denied Unemployment#this year so for 10 weeks were on thoughts and prayers while he hunted for a non-kitchen job#plus his major surgery over the summer that was 100% covered by financial aid because we opted for a different hospital#there have been good things like he has insurance now and i'm abke to walk without feeling like i'm walking on glass#plus a few commissions over the summer. but those have been among the very few good things. oh and he won his court case#i would just like to have the rest of the year be filled with good things like all or most of my listed quilts selling. someone#commissioning me to finish the quilts i have listed as available to handquilting. the tops are finished but if i finish the quilts#completely they're gonna take up sooooo much space. even folded and rolled up. i store them in plastic bins to protect them but the#bins take up a lot of space. people praise my work and tell me hoe much they wanna buy it or will buy the things as soon as i list them...#and then no one buys them and the things just hang in my closet or rest in a bin. it's extremely disheartening to be repeatedly#disappointed. it has made me cry and question if it's worth making anything at all.
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Strawberry flowering in the garden!
#the last one is wild forest strawberry#strawberries growing#strawberry flowers#I think I will let wild strawberry grow over my entire garden#because it's such a great cover crop#shallow roots and doesn't allow room for any weeds#easy to pull up when you need the space and the ground is protected from light and wind and heat#and they also give strawberries????????#and they spread insanely i literally put in 4 plants last year now theres 4 hundred of them#i think this is ideal for the garden
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technically yes i did leave my old job but you wouldn’t believe it with the way i am still somehow at their beck and call
#shut up j#work chronicles#‘oh they want you to certify for this trial’ ‘ok well im already busy covering their clinic this morning so i cant do that’#‘mmmm yeah but they really really want you to certify’#WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO#i cannot be in two places at once and i most certainly cannot do two ******** activities at the same time#do they want me to see their patients or do they want me to take test images and more importantly WHEN WILL I STOP BEING THEIR BITCH i left#for a reason 😭😭😭😭😭#gonna commit violent crimes before the end of the day don’t worry about it#(violent crimes : sit in this room and sulk but ultimately say nothing because they do in fact have me under their thumb until I leave the#trust entirely. i fear.) ( who gives af about me and what I want though right) (lmao)
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 14: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should relax by spending his afternoon shopping ..
~
He trots down the mossy cobblestone walkway, gazing around in awe as he approaches the central hub of the small city. Tiny shops and stalls and carts are woven through the few clusters of taller buildings, with a modest crowd bustling back and forth between them. Despite much of the land being cleared for structures and pathways, it's still lush with greenery wherever it can be, every blank stone wall or street corner dotted with trailing vines and flowering fruit trees.
After spending a good 25 minutes trying to orient himself at the city map directory, he finally finds his way onto one of the primary shopping streets, eager to spend the afternoon lazily strolling about, trying to ignore his physical aches and just take in all the sights as he hunts for interesting items....
...A few hours (and multiple snack breaks) later, the streets begin to glow with a hazy warmth as lanterns are lit, marking the nearing sunset. Possibly because of the fight yesterday, he's felt shakier, more easily startled than usual, and suddenly realizes an urgent need to be safely inside his room at the inn before nightfall. He wanted to stay out longer, see the lights and the crowds, fascinating scenes of city nightlife he's never been exposed to before.. but, his nerves are impossible to ignore.
Begrudgingly preparing to slink off towards the inn in a sweaty anxious panic, he stops in the doorway, resolving to at LEAST buy himself ONE nice item before he leaves. He doesn't have much money, sure, but it'd be a shame to simply look around all day and not get anything. All travelers need to collect their souvenirs, right? But.. What should he get?
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Additional Information (feel free to skip this part, it's just extra context for people who are interested lol)
just for record (in case it influences what people think he should buy), this is the adventurer's current inventory contents:
small journal + pencil to document his travels (and a few colored pencils for sketching plants or doodling)
a basic travel guide booklet
a simple map of the area
a small glass lantern case you can put candles in
fire starting materials
basic matches
first aid kid (a few bandages, simple antibacterial balm, some dried herbs that can be used for minor issues like stomach aches or nausea)
one metal cup, one metal bowl/plate thing, one metal fork/spoon, a cooking knife, and one metal pot for cooking over the fire
a basic toiletry bag (toothbrush, herbal mixture toothpaste type thing, bar of soap, one towel, a rag, a few disposable paper napkins, moisturizing oil, hair brush, a tiny cracked mirror)
three bottles of various spice mixes for flavoring the plain/bland food he usually forages on the road (+ plain salt)
a glass jar of berries
a container of plain dried oats
a container of dried beans
half a loaf of stale bread
one carrot he found
a bag of dried fruit
about 15 coins (maybe equivalent to $45 USD in our world money lol)
a basic fishing kit (simple lures, hooks, string)
two containers of canned fish just as a back up in case he ever can't find fresher food for the cat
a cheesy fairytale romance novel about people going on a grand heroic journey, to help give him inspiration to continue on his own travels and be the ultimate Super Cool Adventurer Hero
an old folded up letter from his family
a fabric pouch of cool shiny rocks + other trinkets he's collected
one change of underwear, one change of socks, + winter gloves
foldable saw
some twine/string
a basic sewing kit (2 needles, one spool of thread, a thimble)
lawyer's business card (from boat party)
lawyer's fancy expensive giant scarf (also from party)
1 lunchbox of vegetable dumplings (from Innkeeper)
2 canteens of water
a small dagger for cutting rope, vines, multipurpose anything
a little tin of mint & rose flavored candies for when his mouth gets dry
a box of cubed dried chicken as cat treats
a box of fancy tea
one large rope
a roll of fabrics (one thick blanket for padding when sleeping on the ground, some basic tent fabric to make shelter from, a few spare fabric scraps, 2 cloth napkin/towel things, two cloth sacks for extra carrying capacity if needed)
1 pouch of dried meat
5 candles
Innkeeper's hand-drawn map to her brother's hideout
and of course, the Mysterious Egg in a little wooden box
the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#poll#polls#choose your own adventure#Just a fun shopping day! what shall he get? :0#Also the cat is riding on his head in the image but I picture more that the cat probably sits on his shoulder or just#follows him on the ground when he's walking around. probably shoulder is best in crowded areas so they#don't get separated. I just can't draw the cat on the shoulders because of the more like ''chibi'' art style. his head is so giant there's#no room for anything on his tiny shoulders that are covered up by his hair anyway lol#If I drew him in my own actual more realistically proportioned style then. maybe#I should do a ''normal'' drawing of him.#maybe like a a character sketch to show his outfit fully or something. But..eh#I finally made the writing shorter again. The past few days have been too long. but I'm working back towards like#3 paragraphs or less. Today is 4 but still.. better than some of the other days. Which those days I did also have to describe#more but still. I do these super super quickly so it's better for it to be shorter if it can be lol#the writing SEEMS longer since I did also include his entire inventory but jhjknk#I just LOVE thinknig about inventories. Part of the pictures I want to post on my main blog at some point if I ever finally#edit all of them is I gathered a few items from around the house and made little fake adventurer inventories#like just groups of things someone might carry around. This was months and months ago it just takes me THAT long to actually#find the time/energy to edit and post photos lol. But for whatever reason some of my favorite Unnecessary Details to fixate on#(and I LOVE fixating on small pointless details) is like.. what someone is carrying aroun with them. What they have in their bag#and why and what it says about them and what it looks like and the story behind it and where they got it and etc.#Of course his is pretty plain because he barely brought anything with him. but still lol.. I'm leaving his backstory up to interpretation#since he's kind of a character where most of the decisions are made by other people. so I'm not sure if he doesn't have much because#he used to be a poor farm boy or something. Or maybe he just was so overexcited to leave he forgot to pack enough. maybe he's just#bad a planning. maybe he's rich actually but his parents didnt want him to waste his time on adventuring so they didnt support him#or buy things for him and he had to scrap it together himself. etc. etc. Whatever the case. He has ENOUGH to be prepared#and to survive generally. but it's all very like. flimsy basic stuff. materials that tear easily. bent metal pot with dents in it. etc. lol#ANYWAY.. new poll adventure.. this one did take a little longer than I wanted but not as long as the last one. Trying to get back on track#I will hopefully have less dr's appointments in april. so.. aaaa
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Kind of endearing that despite their obvious strained dynamic Utahime and Gojo trust each other
#It's sort of like Nanami and Gojo's dynamic but Nanami ignores him and Utahime is incensed#Despite how irresponsible Gojo is she doesn't doubt Gojo is telling her the truth#He was extremely rude with her about her being weak and lacking the guts to be the traitor#But in part I guess he was messing up with her. In part I guess he trusts her too#And that's sort of endearing#Again a bit like what Nanami and Gojo have going on#But Utahime seems to dislike Gojo more than Nanami does#Utahime and Gojo seem to have a bit that fondness you develop for stains on a wall. A stain or a patch that wasn't quite well painted#But that has accompanied you through your entire childhood for instance. Your father painted the room and you chose that exact blue colour#but there's a patch that wasn't well painted. It's in a corner and no one noticed it but you know it's there and it annoys you#And it's there during your childhood perhaps. It's there during your teens years#It lives through the posters changing and the heartbreak and the friendships being born and dying and it's always there#It always annoys you but it's always there.And when you leave home for college or whatever you put your life in boxes and move the furniture#and finally you look at the stain and for one moment‚ for one instant before covering it with a fresh layer of painting‚ you look at it#And in that instant you almost kind of feel fondness for that stain. For that constant through your life. Even if it annoyed you#That's sort of the air Utahime and Gojo give me haha#I don't know. The intimacy of constancy if nothing else is something I love#That knowing each other because of the years in common and knowing where you both went through. And that almost fondness it brings at times#Heathcliff with Hindley and sort of Edgar. Charles and Adam. Or that one classmate you quite didn't like entirely and were never close to#but if one says something the other would understand it's a reference to the French teacher you had in the second year of middle school#and reply in kind. And laugh perhaps. And in that moment you could almost imagine you could have been friends#Well. That kind of vibe Utahime and Gojo give me. Which is. I don't know. It's kind of cute?#In the context of the madness of this Jujutsu world#I'm overall loving the glimpses we see into the dynamic Gojo has with the adults in his life#I think his dynamic with Ijichi is my favourite for now. Surprised I don't see them more in a shippy context#with how much I see Gojo and Nanami or Gojo and Utahime and even Gojo and Shoko. Perhaps it's because ijichi isn't hot? I mean#I would understand that. It's a factor too. But I love that Gojo trusts him more than anything and I like that Ijichi understands him#and his kindness beyond his rudeness and I am biased and love the Megumi parallel. Not into the 'or I will slap you' thing though but okay#ANYWAY yeah xD I love Gojo's dynamics with the adults. I love when he sulked because Nanami told him gave the finger to the higher ups to#avoid Gojo giving it to Yuji but that despite and precisely for that Gojo SMILED and said 'I am glad I left you in change of him'. Love him
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#this ended up in my drafts all day i guess but i am so serious when i say that i listened to this the first time while walking through the#supermarket today and it was like entirely embarrassing because i could NOT could. not..... keep myself from smiling the entire time like.#this is sooooooo so good like every time he does a cover and he uses a part of his register that ist constantly tries to suppress#(for whatever reason u know idk wtf is wrong with the heads of people over there but whatever) it makes me so fucking happy#and this is just like. entirely in the lower parts of his range and there's no half whispering and it's just very very extremely fucking#melodic and beautiful and serene and exciting and incredible it makes me feel like i am bouncing around the room it makes me feel like#i am a hyperactive squirrel from an animated movie (i guess if u know which one i'm referencing this is funnier) and it makes me feel mildl#insane also because there is nothing that speaks to me like a voice that really fucking digs itself through my skin and through my arteries#and into the very core parts of my soul do u get it?#anyway!#jacob#the boyz#tbz#mp3#*up
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In light of Brian Thompson being shot dead on my birthday (🎉🥳🎂) I'd like to share a personal story about UnitedHealthcare.
During the peak of COVID, my family all got sick. I couldn't be on my parents' insurance because they were both older and on Medicare. So, I had insurance through my University: UnitedHealthcare.
For some reason, rather than roll-over each year, I got a new plan each year that ended after May and didn't start until August, so I was uninsured for the summer months, but it was a weird situation that the university denied, and told us we were supposed to be insured year-round, it was messy.
Both of my parents went to the hospital, and I got sick too. I had to take care of my pets, and myself, and try to stay alive and keep my pets alive when I was so weak I could hardly move. When my parents came home, my condition got dramatically worse (I think my body knew it couldn't give out, because there was nobody to take care of me, so once my parents were okay, it completely crashed and failed.)
I started experiencing emergency symptoms. It was a bit hard to breathe, my chest hurt, and I was extremely delirious. I wanted to call my insurance to see if I was covered (this was during the summer) and I was connected to some nice person, probably making minimum wage, who told me with caution in her voice that my plan was expired. I had no active insurance, but she urged me to go to an emergency room. I remember saying something to the effect of "You just told me I don't have insurance, I can't go to the hospital, I can't afford it."
She sounded so genuinely worried and scared. I remember she said "You really don't sound good, you sound really sick, please call 9-1-1" and I think I just said "I can't afford it without insurance, don't worry, I think I'll be okay."
And she paused and said "I don't want to hang up the phone with you like this." And it sounded like she was holding back tears. And I don't remember what I said, I think that I would be okay, and I hung up.
I still think about her. I wonder if that phone call haunted her, or if she had dozens of calls like that a day. I wonder if she thinks about it at all, if she wonders if I died after she told me I didn't have insurance and therefore couldn't go to the hospital without incurring a tremendous financial burden. I wonder if she feels guilt or blame-- of course she shouldn't, it wouldn't have been her fault if anything had happened to me. Maybe it's self-centered to wonder if she thinks about it. I'm not the main character and it was just her job. But, still.
I think about how evil it was that we were put in that situation. Because offering year-long continuous coverage through the university plan would maybe cut into profits, maybe not benefit shareholders enough, maybe cut into Thompson's $10 million salary. While his minimum wage administrators have to feel afraid to hang up the phone, because on the other line someone might be dying, and they wouldn't know. While his patients hang up and decide to take their chances rather than put their family through that trauma.
This is UnitedHealthcare. This is Brian Thompson's legacy. This is why, understandably, an entire nation is jubilant that he was gunned down like the vermin he was. I don't care about his widow. I feel pity for his children, despite the fact that they will inherit millions, but I feel more pity for the children of his victims patients who are gone because they didn't want THEIR children to inherit crippling debt. Brian Thompson got what he fucking deserved. I pray that he not be the only one. I pray for continued safety, peace , and anonymity for his killer.
American healthcare is a disease.
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