#because that just gives you again another perspective of how young some of these kids really were

[dustofthedailylife]

TW // Elliot Gindi

For anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I'm glad Hoyo is taking action. What happened cannot and should not be ignored!!

My heart goes out to everyone affected by his actions. May Tighnari receive a new and deserving EN voice and may everyone affected by the former VAs actions heal 💕

[bats-and-the-birds]

I like to think about young Dick Grayson a lot, and right now I'm specifically thinking about him from the Justice League's perspective.

Like, imagine you're in the Justice League, maybe you've been there for a few months, maybe for a few years, but either way, you know how it works. Superman's terrifyingly powerful, but you get over the fear factor as soon as you see him cry over a sad cat video, and Wonder Woman's still a bit intimidating, but as long as you're good and truthful, you can trust that she won't crush your head like a grape.

And Batman... well, you've made your peace with the fact that you'll never figure him out. You know literally nothing about him, other than the fact that he claims to be fully human, but you're not even really sure about that, because you're pretty sure he just materializes in the shadows sometimes. The only things that you're 100% sure of is that you're terrified of him, and you're so glad that he's not on someone else's side.

And then, suddenly, he has acquired a child. Just like everything else, you don't find out immediately, because god forbid that man tell his team anything. But you start to hear vague reports of another shadow trailing behind Batman in the night. Superman asks him about it one day, but of course, he doesn't respond, and they all wonder, but it never gets brought up again.

But one day, unexpectedly, that shadow is at a league meeting, and he's not as shadowy as you would have thought. In fact, he's wearing the most vibrant costume you've seen, and you spend all of your time with other heroes in spandex. He's also young. Terrifyingly young. It's his twelfth birthday, actually, he explains to the league, and he pestered 'B' until he agreed to take him to a meeting. You all agree later that he looks younger than twelve. And you worry about him, because why is this child in Batman's care? Can he really be trusted to look after someone so small, so young, so seemingly fragile?

Besides, Robin (Robin, his name is Robin, he's a songbird for christ's sake), is everything that you'd think Batman would hate. He talks everyone's ear off with a giant grin stretched across his entire face. He begs Superman to fly him around and cackles and claps as Wonder Woman demonstrates basic sword maneuvers for him. Before long, the whole team is in a better mood. Meanwhile, Batman stands in the shadows, his face impassive, with no explanation about the little masked boy that walked into the room hiding under his cape.

He leaves just as he came, disappearing under Batman's cape as the two exit the watchtower together, and the whole league is left to wonder how the fuck that child ended up in Batman's care, and whether or not they should intervene, because spending prolonged time in Batman's company cannot be healthy for a child.

But then he starts showing up more and more, popping up in some places that you know from Batman's glare he's not supposed to be. He's teamed up with that speedster boy and the two of them cause havoc, but Robin takes the lecture he gets with a grin and gives a half hearted promise to behave.

You steadily start to realize that he might not be as out of place in Batman's company as you originally thought. You realize that the boy is a performer through and through, and that extends to that grin of his that dazzled the team when they first met him. You get the impression that sometimes its genuine, yes, but you'd never know if it wasn't. His exuberance is a persona held in place as meticulously as Batman's grim seriousness.

And though you'd assumed that Batman's sidekick (partner, the boy insisted, rather intensely, though his smile never faltered) would be well trained, this kid could take down league members, you're sure. You quickly realize that he enjoys fighting, and he fights viciously, giggling and putting on a show, but leaving broken bones in his wake. Your first impression is that Robin was more human than the demon they called the Batman, but you quickly start to question that too. If Batman can materialize in shadows, then Robin can fly. He twists through the air like gravity doesn't affect him and lands with so much grace that you'd think he had hollow bones like his namesake. You're not fully convinced he doesn't, considering he climbs up the bat with no warning, clinging onto his back like he belongs there (you quickly start to think he does), or he'll throw himself through the air with no more warning than a quick 'catch' yelled to his partner. And Batman catches him. Batman always catches him. Everyone keeps an eye on him when he's up high, but there's a part of you that feels like it's impossible that he'd ever fall. Or at least, impossible that Batman would ever let him hit the ground.

And you start to think that Robin's exactly where he's supposed to be; perched on Batman's shoulder, hiding in his cape, or fighting by his side. You still hope there's a normal boy behind the mask, going to school and making friends with someone to tuck him in at night, but you also can't imagine anything normal about Robin, and maybe that's why he needs to be by Batman's side, and maybe that's why Batman needs him too.

[yuri-is-online]

Was Lilia more “Oh my thorn fairy I have another child?! I can barely cast a spell as of now and future me wants a fucking KID?! AT THAT AGE?!”

Or more of a

I HAVE ANOTHER SON?! AND IT’S FROM ME!?

If his Yutu tells him he comes from the future? Because it could imply he does regain his remaining years and magic. Idk how you wrote that problem that even rn it’s giving talk about Lilia surviving book 7 or not.

If it’s the second I already see him passing by Silver’s room really excited and saying “YOU HAVE A BROTHER!” And zooming off, leaving a very confused Silver and thinking he refers to either Malleus or Sebek.

technically anon asked first but this ask is much longer so it was awkward to screenshot for an answer. Here is the link the anon used for reference, I obligated as an elderly hater to let you know it's from SAO. Anon's idea is extremely good and we're going to roll with it for this Yutu's Uniqe Magic because you know he was always going to be a little shit.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. SPOILERS FOR: Book 7, Lilia's back story, and Silver's unique magic. Please engage with this in mind. For more fyuutre kid au, please check out the series section of my masterlist.

I have a bit of difficult time writing for Lilia given how much older he is than the rest of the cast, so I tend to write his Yuu as being a bit older themselves. Maybe they had an extremely difficult childhood and connected with Lilia over their shared sense of robbed innocence. Whatever it was I think this Yuu has a bit of a fascination with creatures of the night and a lot of their weirdo reputation within their community comes from kids telling each other that Yuu and Yutu are vampires. That makes me tempted to say Lilia! Yutu's real name is Alucard or Sebastian, something vaguely vampire themed.

None of those rumors are helped by Yutu finding himself very lethargic when out in the sunlight or his preference for colder temperatures. From his perspective he can't exactly help being who he is, people should really just get over themselves and let him do his thing. It's not his fault that bats really seem to like him for some reason, the neighbors are exaggerating Mr. Animal Control officer he swears.

Because he prefers to spend his awake hours in the dark, he is waaaaay too comfortable doing things and going places he shouldn't. He's real familiar with all the abandoned buildings and sketchy alleys of your town and has tagged quite a few of them. I like the idea of Lilia! Yutu being really interested in street art and Graffiti. I could see him putting up a bunch of bats everywhere and getting in a bunch of trouble for it. He has very fond memories of Yuu letting him paint murals on portions of their house in an effort to meet him halfway. He might like a good prank but unlike his father Yutu is always pulling his punches with Yuu.

Lilia didn't exactly have a supportive parent while he was growing up, something I feel like Yuu remembers and is very conscious of in their parenting of Yutu. Unfortunately for Lilia they also remember that he had another child and was a lot older than them, something Yutu raises several eyebrows at and causes him to ignore the things Yuu tries to tell him about his "great sense of humor" and "desire for different peoples to learn and grow with one another-" yeah that's great can you back up a bit to where you said he had another family? Yutu goes through life thinking he was the product of an affair Yuu had with a much older, married man who was just trying to feel young again. The amnesia stuff... sometimes he wonders if his dad tried to have Yuu killed. He never says it out loud because something tells him he's wrong, but gut feelings aren't as trustworthy as statistics...

So you can imagine his surprise when he tumbles out of a coffin and is told that his dad was a faerie general bound in service to a family of dragons, veteran of an ancient war, and technically the adoptive father of the Prince of the children of the night and the Prince of the rival human kingdom that killed his best friends. One of which is alive and overwhelmed with joy to meet him. Silver wanted Yutu almost as badly as Lilia and Yuu did so to see him alive and awkwardly squirming in his arms? Silver hasn't cried this much since they lost Lilia and Malleus.

Having a proper older brother, not just the concept, is an extreme change for Yutu. He's used to it just being him and Yuu, and he was sort of expecting Silver to hate him just for existing. Nothing could be further from the truth, Silver wants his younger brother to have the same freedoms he did while attending school but he also respectfully requests that Yutu spend at least some of his free time with him. He tried desperately to find his dreams over the years and was never able to make firm contact, but he doesn't want to pressure Yutu into caring about him. Yutu is didn't realize how badly he wanted other family members until he got to have Silver, he's even willing to take up sword fighting so they can get closer.

Sebek is also overwhelmed with tears upon seeing Lilia! Yutu. He is a bit harsh on him for "not living up to Master Lilia's legacy" because he doesn't know anything about fighting. He does applaud him for his willingness to learn. Yutu thinks Sebek is hilarious and messes with him just as much as Lilia does. Something Sebek is completely willing to let him do because it makes him feel like Lilia never left.

All of the Yutus get to see some of the photographs Yuu left behind, but Lilia! Yutu is especially interested in them. He makes a small photo album of all the ones he can find of his dad, especially ones where he's with Yuu and Silver. He's partially driven by guilt for thinking his father was a terrible person, but really he just wants to feel closer to him. He's half fae, and sure he has Sebek to talk about that with but what he really needs is a connection with his father. Yutu doesn't really care about being a faerie. He just cares about his dad's acceptance, everything else can go hang.

I don't have a name for his unique magic, but going off of anon's idea it allows him to overwhelm his target's mind, forcing them to think about their greatest fears to the point they are convinced they are really going through it. Someone hates spider? All over their face and in their clothes. Crippling fear of failure? Suddenly that emotion is all they can focus on. And if it's a mindless creature like a blot phantom or a monster they become overwhelmed with the sensation that they are unable to breathe and about to die. Yutu can't control the illusion the person experiences so usually he tries not to use it on his classmates.

That changes when he goes into the past. Some rando want to shit talk Yuu? Nightmare. Macho NRC guy wants to rumble? Nightmare. Some random guy jumped out from behind him and yells "BOO!" Nightma-

If Yutu had been just a hair slower he would have been in extreme pain, the dangerous glint in those familiar ruby eyes scream that. The short fae smiles almost cruelly, advancing on him clearly upset even though Yutu has dropped the spell.

"Well now, that's no way to great a senior." Lilia's voice is strangely soothing, it occurs to Yutu that this is probably the first time his father has ever been angry at him and he can't help himself. He laughs,

"Yeah sorry about that." He makes sure to try and be cute about it, which helps to diffuse the tension some what. "You really scared me so it was all I could think to do."

Lilia is very impressed by Yutu's reflexes and control over his unique magic. He is even further impressed by how eager Yutu is to train with Silver. The kid has some real promise and fits into Silver and Sebek's dynamic better than Lilia could have dreamed of. He really hopes the two will benefit from having a relatively normal human friend their age to train with. Maybe he and Yuu will stick around and give him some piece of mind about the kids being in good hands when he's gone.

Yutu hanging around Diasomnia gives him an excuse to chat with Yuu more, not that he exactly needed it. Lilia sort of hates the way he's drawn to you, it feels unfair. Unfair to you to give you hope there could be something more and toy with your affections; unfair to him for life to finally allow him to realize what romantic love is like just in time to have to let it go. There is a bittersweet tone to all of your interactions that his housemates are a bit too socially awkward to pick up on but Cater does.

Yutu is surprised how much he likes Cater, he associates him with a terrifying monster he's had to fight multiple times, not a fun guy who is really determined to help his parents get together. And what's even better he's really chill when Yutu asks for stories about Lilia, he has a lot of them and a completely different perspective than his older brother allowing Yutu to glean some more insight to what his parents might have been thinking in the future.

He finds himself spending a lot of time with the pop music club, not as an official member though he's not great at carrying a tune. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are glad to have another person to chill with, sometimes they'll play music and Yutu will draw something based off whatever noise they made. Cater wants to talk him into doing album art for them... you know if they ever get around to making a recording.

I think Yutu will only tell Lilia who he is if he has no choice. He wants to mess with the timeline as little as possible, but should a monster from his timeline appear in this one, say like an overblotted Yuu another asker was so nice as to bring up, well it's not like he says who he is. He just addresses the monster as his parent and has a very loud meltdown not wanting to fight them again. Something Malleus is more than willing to assist him with.

"Think nothing of it." Malleus's power is truly terrifying, Yutu is torn between sorrow that he wasn't on their side and relief he didn't overblot a second time. "You are Lilia's son yes? That makes you my subject, and a most precious one at that." Not that Yutu has avoided interacting with Malleus exactly, he's just found talking to him exceptionally awkward because well. He's not Yuu, he's very aware of how important Malleus is supposed to be. But the way he's looking at him now makes him think that maybe he was missing out on interacting with another older brother.

Something that's confirmed when he turns to see how big his father's eyes have gotten, the man is shaking as he stares at his face and flicks between him, Malleus, and Silver like he's staring at the most precious pieces of art in the whole universe.

As you brought up Lilia's survival isn't guaranteed, I did not solve that problem at all. I sort of just... wrote that Lilia would age more or less like a normal human and not really be able to use magic on par with what a fae would consider normal but would still be impressive to a human... so while Lilia might be a bit reluctant to show his face in Briar Valley he would still have enough years to have and raise Yutu. He might have actually died around the same time as Yuu if they had lived a normal life.

He is overwhelmingly excited at the thought of having another baby. Lilia might not know what to do with them but he does really like kids. What's harder for him to accept is his relationship with Yuu. Raising a child is something he's done before, being someone's long term partner is not. He is unused to feeling desirable, and unfamiliar with acting on his own desires. Sure Lilia might seem very free spirited, but much of his life has been dictated by a sense of duty. The thought of having something precious to him that chose him specifically of their own free will is... disarming. He's overwhelmed with how helpless you make him feel and how little he despises it.

Yutu's need to be accepted by his father is met and exceeded almost immediately. Lilia wants to cook a big family dinner for Yuu and all of his boys, something that Malleus politely rejects asking if he can instead show his Culinary Crucible skills off to Yutu (it's really so he can make babiest brother promise to never eat anything Paw Paw makes EVER) and it's all so normal Yutu almost forgets that he's listening to a practical god smugly tell him he knows all about edible weeds as his father flies around him cracking jokes and pinching his cheeks. His older brother is asleep on the couch waiting for the food to be done and his precious parent is helping his Uncle Sebek set the table, listening to him sniffle about how beautiful Master Lilia's family is.

Lilia might be practically retired, but his mind is still sharp. The information Yutu is able to pass on to him lands in good hands. When he tucks Yutu into bed that night, long after the boy has gone to sleep so as not to embarrass him he makes sure to take a good long look at the little miracle. He is beyond grateful Yutu exists, not even the Thorn Fairy could have given him a finer blessing (he'll have to make sure to tease you about that later, that's got to be a good pick up line) He will make sure that this risk his son has taken pays off, Lilia Vanrouge wasn't feared for no reason. Something it seems some foolish mortals need reminding of.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I’ve already made a post about this but I still am firmly latched onto “Rumplestiltskin let his name get found out”

Like, from my perspective, those magic types can never just do magic for nothing, even if they wanted to, like you can’t tell me Cinderella’s fairy godmom didn’t want to just put her on that carriage to never come back to her shitty family, but she can’t, there’s Rules™️, so all she could do was give Cinderella a night to remember before midnight and then keep the shoes as glass, hoping it would help somehow

So, with this guy, she’s this young woman with a shitty dad who’s about to be killed if she doesn’t do the impossible, and he wants to help, he really does, but again, there’s Rules™️, he can’t just help out the goodness of his heart, so he makes trades with her, taking what little she has left, but prolonging her life

Unfortunately, the king is just so greedy, a room full of gold isn’t enough, he wants more gold, that fills more rooms, larger than the first room even was, and quickly this poor girl runs out of anything to barter with

But Rumple knows that her journey isn’t over yet, he knows the king plans to wed her if the straw is spun into gold again, and so even if she “gets out” she’ll just be trapped again, because how is a poor young girl with no one on her side supposed to say no to the ruler of their land?? She’ll be forced to wed him and then give him a child

So it’s a kindness, really, when he makes the offer for her first born child, she won’t have to raise a kid she never asked for, and a kid who never asked to be born won’t have to grow up with the knowledge they were forced on their mom, everyone wins! except for the king, but honestly, who cares about him?

So Rumple shows up a bit later, ready to help out the young woman who fate has never been kind to, and it turns out his arrival is another thing she sees as an unfairness in her life because she wants her kid, so now he’s gotta find a way around this because even if he doesn’t want to enforce the deal, there’s Rules™️ (there’s always goddamn rules), so he alters it.

Her child for his name

(And then he spends the next few days, dancing around, singing his name as much as possible, so someone is able to overhear it at some point)

[joandfriedrich]

Ranking Portrayals of Amy x Laurie from Worst to Best

History- The best way to describe the couple is by alluding to another real-life story. David Bowie shared that when he met Iman, she was not at all interested in him, and if wanted to prove to her that he was serious, he had to work hard to win her; in his own words he described winning her as “it was as if she was a top a medieval tower, and in the process of reaching her, I became a better man, and never looked back.” This vibe is very much what makes Amy and Laurie a great couple, he the dreamer and emotional one, while she is the grounded and logical one. They balance each other out, and because they had known each other for so long, their love comes naturally and at ease that it makes sense they could love each other. They have known each other since they were young, and after much growth on their own characters, they find that they are meant to be.

2019- This is just bottom of the barrel when it comes to showing this couple. It’s funny, and while I am glad that people started to like Amy and the couple more because of this film, but let me tell you, they are not the best version. One issue that is had here is Amy’s character is so displaced. From the moment she meets Laurie, she is practically obsessed with him, plastering her foot so he may “remember what pretty feet I have” and running after him in a carriage screaming for him, when it is incredibly undignified for her to do. Amy plastered her foot because she wanted to try and explore other means of creating art, and it’s Laurie who sees her in Paris, chasing after her. This version really plays up the myth of Laurie “settling for Amy”, as he seems to not be that interested in her until she confesses her own feelings, and once again, Amy making a choice with the hope that Laurie is going to be waiting for her. I just didn’t see Laurie loving Amy as much as she loved him, and I didn’t find there to be much chemistry between the two actors as much as everyone said, not when he is so distant from her until the last moment.

1949- The problem with this film is that there is so little of them. I know that this was the same complaint of Meg and John in the 2019 film, so why aren’t I applying the same criteria to this listing? Because I would rather see so few of their interactions than see it played out incorrectly. The only real interaction they seem to have is during the party scene when Jo and Laurie get Amy and Beth food as they sit on the stairs. The only other hint of a relationship happening before the return from Europe is when Amy asks Jo, before leaving for Europe, if Jo would be alright if Laurie fell in love with another girl, hinting possibly something had happened while Jo went to New York. I think it’s a shame that we don’t see much of them, given that I think Elizabeth Taylor and Peter Lawford could have made a nice Amy x Laurie.

2018- This too suffers not having enough scenes with them, especially as adults, but I give this a pass given that the film follows Jo’s perspective more than the others. What I do like about this version is that we do see some sweet moments between them, both as children and adults, that it makes sense just how it could be possible that they fall for each other. Laurie was always so good to Amy as a child, so you understand why she, as a kid, would have a crush on him, which oddly bumps this over the 49’ film, but it allows me a better understanding why and how they fell in love. They are both creatives who are interested in what the other is doing, while Jo is focused on her own work, not necessarily caring what anyone else’s dream is, just what she thinks they ought to be.

1933- This one fare better than the 49’ film by showing more interactions between the characters that you can understand better here how they end up together. Notably, they share an interaction when Beth gets scarlet fever, and Laurie promises to take Amy out for a ride every day while at Aunt March’s, and then scene with Amy and Laurie in Europe after finding out Beth has died. I love their reunion in Europe, because it shows not only how Amy had matured from the start of the film, but also the incredibly tender look Laurie gives Amy as he comforts her, it’s so sweet and you can see the beginning of a romance blossoming between them.

1970- This is another one that really stayed true to text, and having that helps to get the audience on board with the pair. The first time they interact is when Laurie saves her from drowning, jumping in himself to save her and Amy clearly has a crush on him after this. When Laurie promises to take her out for a ride while she is at Aunt March’s there is a pretty adorable interaction where they make plans. At Meg’s wedding they already have hits of acting like a couple, when he spoke in French, “to you I surrender”, then taking her in his arms, and when dancing begins, Amy is the first person he goes to. Where they shine is when they meet again in Europe. This is incredibly faithful to the novel where Amy lays it out for him and Laurie chastises her for marrying only for money. I love the way Amy defends Laurie and is proud of him going away to London to do better things for himself. When he goes to comfort Amy, he promises to not go back to Paris as long as Amy wants him and promises to take care of her. This is the only version that shows them alone after being married, and the casual intimacy they share with each other is just precious. For book faithful, you are best to go with this one.

2017- This one was a surprise how much I liked it. I liked seeing scenes of them together, especially prior their trip in Europe, because it shows how much their relationship grows, especially the scene at Aunt March where they both talk about their faults and wishing to improve themselves. It shows their vulnerable side, which through the series, we hadn’t seen either of them show to anyone else. While we don’t get much of Amy reprimanding Laurie for his behavior, it still has them being honest with one another about their faults, encouraging the other to pursue their passions, and Kathryn Newton and Jonah Hauer-King have a wonderful chemistry together that I would very happily see them in another film where they are a couple. It’s in the looks they give each other, the simple gestures that help to show that, whether they know it or not, they are falling in love with each other, until it’s unavoidable. The scene where they admit their love, at the bank is an intimate moment, and has dialogue quite true to the book, as Laurie asks if Amy thinks they might be on the same journey that could last forever.

1978- Something I always like to see between Amy and Laurie is moments shared before going to Europe, and there is a great conversation between them about their desire to be skilled in art and music, and encouraging each other to chase their dreams. They are always so honest with each other, even if it is blunt and hurtful, in the end, they know they can take it. The scenes in Europe are so true to text that it made me so happy. I feel like so many versions do not play that out, and watching how their love went from being friends to how Laurie could realize that he never loved Jo, that his heroine of his opera stopped looking like Jo and was more like Amy, was adorable, you can really hear the sincerity in his voice when he says this. You can see how good of an influence Amy has on him, particularly when they see Jo after getting married, and she convinces him to speak to Jo about being married. I put this one higher than the 70’ miniseries, mainly because I felt the actors had a better chemistry together than the earlier version, and if you want something that overall shows the essence of Amy x Laurie, this one does the trick.

1994- I wasn’t expecting this one to be as high as it is, but I think the reason why is all the nuances that are in this version rather than just what we see. I always love seeing Amy and Laurie interactions before Europe, as it’s meant to be a softer version of friends to lovers, so to have a scene where Laurie and Amy are in the carriage, him comforting her as she worries over Beth and staying with Aunt March, and the precious moment where he promises to kisses her before she dies, and to have it come back later on was wonderful. His touching her nose, hinting at her little habit of the clothes pin on her nose, is the cutest little signs of affection between them, a sort of them thing. After their rather frank conversation of how they both are acting against their nature is very well done, showing that they can be honest with each other, and when Laurie goes to London to improve his behavior, it inspires Amy to do the same. What gets me hardest is when he receives the letter from Jo about Beth’s death and Aunt March in confinement, he doesn’t even finish the letter, just drops everything to rush to Amy’s side, proving that she was first on his mind, not Jo, and that he loved Amy more than her. This is the version to really get into Amy and Laurie, as it encapsulates everything that makes their relationship great.

[hyperfixated-fan]

I have some semi-coherent thoughts now. I want to specifically analyze that final scene and why that in particular had me bursting into tears. (I still can’t watch it without tearing up.) I use the term “analyze” loosely and really mean stick around and listen to me emotionally ramble.

FIRST of all, they hit us with grown up Omega, which automatically hits you in the feels because this is the naive, bright-eyed child we’ve watched be amazed by dirt now getting ready to head off and fight in the Rebellion.

Then, they hit us with her exchange with old man Hunter. We got that bittersweet ending in the best way possible.

This is the payoff. The Bad Batch has raised her well. She has grown up into the type of person who sees the injustices in the galaxy and wants to do something about it. It’s time for her to take up a cause and fight.

Hunter’s response. “And we want to keep you safe.”

Omega: “You have. But I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Hunter: “You’re our kid, Omega. You always will be.”

Admittedly, this exchange here hit me deep on a personal level as someone who’s going to be moving out very soon. It’s time to grow up and I want to do this to step into who I am meant to be. But I also know in my parent’s eyes, I’ll always be there little child. And that both warms and breaks my heart just as it does theirs.

My personal life aside, from a storyline perspective, it is adorable how Omega reassures Hunter that they have kept her safe. I mean, just look at her! Look at the bright young person you’ve managed to raise, Hunter. The father genes are strong in this one.

Omega tells him: “Hunter, you’ve all fought enough.”

This in it of itself is heartbreaking. The clones have all fought enough for a Republic that ultimately failed and discarded them. Clone Force 99 was fortunate to end up fighting for something worthwhile. For them, they fought for family and they ultimately won. And now, it is Hunter’s turn to lay down his arms to let the next generation take up the fight. And that stings because while he managed to eventually raise Omega in peace, he cannot fully shield her from having to bear the burden of war.

Honestly, I often think of Thrawn’s lines when talking to Hera and I think it’s applicable to Omega as well. “War is in your blood… You were forged by it.”

Here is Omega telling Hunter that it’s her fight. As a clone, it’s in her blood, in her genes, to fight. As a child raised on the tail end of the Clone Wars, it is her fight because she inherited it. As a person, it is her fight because she’s not one to stand aside while others are oppressed. Once again, a sign of how well-raised she is.

Hunter acknowledges Omega’s readiness, “I know you are… but I’m not.”

Oof. His admittance is a double edged sword. He knows she’s ready, he helped train her himself after all. It’s obvious he is so proud of her, but he doesn’t feel ready to let her go. Listening to his perspective really makes me tear up because it really gives insight on how my parents are handling my move. They don’t necessarily want to say goodbye but they are willing because they know I can accomplish what I set out to do.

THE HUG.

Yeah, I’m drowning in a sea of tears. This is so wholesome!

Before Omega boards her ship, Hunter is sure to tell her, “If you ever need us,

Omega need only say the word and you best believe her brothers are crossing the entire galaxy more than five times to be at her side.

And yeah, that makes me cry all the harder because I know my family will do the same.

And the goggles scene was such another bittersweet punch in the gut.

She’s definitely older than Tech was when he died, but the life she got to live on Pabu and what she’s going to do in the future is exactly why he sacrificed himself. She can live and live well. She’s forever going to be carrying a piece of him with her and carry on his legacy by utilizing the knowledge that he bestowed upon her. I’m definitely sobbing even harder. Tech girlies, I think denial is no longer an option.

Omega takes off in her ship and her theme swells in the background and it a scene of pure art and emotion. Batcher whines as she departs and I am so sad that Omega didn’t get to take Batcher with her because it parallels how I have to leave my fur babies behind!

The Bad Batch has showed us how change greatly affected everyone’s lives and how they learned to adapt to such changes. Yet, there was the constant that no matter what happened, family is still family and you can find a way to carry on to a brighter future.

Hunter’s final lines really get me, “It’s all right, girl. She’ll be fine.”

To me, I can almost take it as a message for myself. As the Bad Batch draws to a close and Omega steps into a new chapter, so must I. It’s rather daunting, but you know what, I’m gonna be fine and I’m gonna make it.

Whatever you are going through, just know you’re going to be fine as well.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - one hundred and four | A Series of Tubes Between Us

“I’m Namhae.”

“YOU’RE WHAT?”

He laughed. “I’m Mountain of Namhae.”

“You’re not--” you laughed loudly, “Oh my God. I never put it together because of the emoji and because I always called you ‘Namhae’ instead.” You groaned at your own stupidity. “I’m so fucking mad right now.”

“At me?”

“No! At myself for not realizing…”

He laughed. “Here, look.”

The option popped up on your Discord to accept a screenshare from San. You accepted it.

“Here’s me using my account.” He used the mouse pointer and circled around his screen name.

“Oh my god I’m so mad. And that fucking explains why Namhae-who-I-didn’t-know-was-you fucking left when you started streaming! There was so much happening that the thought didn’t even occur to me.”

He laughed.

“You even made a new account and everything-- Why didn’t you just tell me it was you?”

“Well, at first I was sort of nervous, and also, meeting in the first place was so weird and I didn’t want you to think I was creepy or something.”

“Why would that be creepy?”

“I don’t know, it was just so weird that I would randomly meet you, my favorite streamer, at the café I worked at.”

“I don’t really think that’s weird, but okay.”

“Well… then the stalker thing happened and I didn’t want you to think I was also stalking you, so at that point I just couldn’t say anything.”

“Hmm.”

“‘Hmm’?”

“That’s a bit more sound of a reason. But if you had told me the first chance you had, you wouldn’t have gotten to that point, because I’d already know you weren’t the stalker because he was a separate guy coming in.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“See? Logic.”

He laughed.

“So… you’ve really been watching me since about the whole time I’ve been streaming?”

“Yeah, I think I was… eighteen when I started?”

“Wow, so I was eighteen too. That’s creepy dude.”

“--What?”

“I’m kidding,” you laughed. “That’s actually sort of cool, from your perspective, because it’s almost like we’ve been friends for a long time. Except for that invisible wall in between us.”

“The screen?”

“And the whole-ass internet.”

He laughed.

“The Mountain Between Us? More like A Series of Tubes Between Us.”

He laughed again. “A Series of Tubes Between You and a Mountain.”

You laughed. “But that’s kind of cool. Did, uh, how did I hold up against your expectations?”

“Oh, um--”

“Should we meet our heroes? I guess, is what I’m asking.” You laughed.

He laughed. “You were mostly like the impression I got from watching your streams. I already thought you were a cool, caring person, and you held up to that.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Did I look how you thought I was going to?”

“Um… I don’t think I really had an idea one way or another?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Most people give me cat ears at least because of the name.”

He laughed. “No, you were just a voice with a great personality to me.”

You chuckled.

You sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Wait,” San started, “What were you going to ask me about?”

“What? Oh, so uh, I heard some interesting information yesterday. I can’t tell you from who, but uh… You were a Chaebol heir?”

He thought for a second. “...Seonghwa wouldn’t tell you because he doesn’t like to gossip, I told Wooyoung not to, so that just leaves Minsoo.”

“Yeah. It was an accident; apparently your mom called her to try and find out how you’re doing or something and when I went to ask something else she accidentally told me.”

San sighed.

“Don’t be mad at her, please.”

“I’m not. She normally becomes an emotional mess after she talks to my mom. She never told me she called so I’ll have to check on her later.”

“Well, I guess Seonghwa would know about it, right? She probably talked to him about it.”

“True. But she’s my mom-- or was. So I’m obligated.”

“She apologized right after telling me.”

“Yeah… But yeah, it’s true. Nice to meet you, I’m Choi San, firstborn son of the owners of Choi Electronics and I left the family when I was eighteen.”

“That’s so young.”

“Yep. I graduated high school and my parents started talking to the family of another company about me marrying their daughter. We met and she was… not a nice person. At all. In the slightest.”

“Just a heinous human being?”

“The most heinous.” 

“Mhm.”

“Just the ugliest personality that a person could have. When we first met I thought she was actually quite pretty, but her behavior when we went out to eat made me change my mind fairly quickly.”

“That’ll do it.”

“And I told my parents that I didn’t want to marry someone to further their business. That’s not a life.”

“Yeah, she told me all of that.”

“Yeah, so... I moved out, sued my family for emancipation, and got a sizable chunk of money to live on while I looked for a job. Seonghwa’s family actually let me live at his house until I turned twenty.”

“Oh, really? That was nice of them.”

“I really owe them everything… they didn’t have a ton of money - they had worked really hard to put Seonghwa into a top school - but they didn’t mind having an extra son for a couple years. I insisted I help them pay rent. Then Seonghwa told me his idea of wanting to open a café and how he was going to take out a loan for it, and I suggested that I invest money in it instead and… here we are.”

“She told me that too. I would never have known, you don’t walk around like a hot shot investor.”

He laughed softly. “It was the money my parents had put away for me, it’s not like I earned it. It’s not really mine.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Did Minsoo… Well, no, I never told anyone this--”

“What?”

“The real reason why I left.”

“Oh? I thought it was because you wanted to be in charge of your own life.”

“Yeah, that’s it; on the surface and at its core. But I didn’t know that until I was eighteen.”

“Because of the blind date?”

“No, this was before that. I umm… I started watching this streamer, who seemed so happy and who had a great fanbase who loved her, and friends who loved her that she could spend time with just having fun and I started to wonder if I could have that too…”

You thought for a moment, confused as to who he meant, until you realized who he was talking about. “...You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

You waited while he thought for a moment.

“I left my family… I left the future designed to ensure I was always wealthy, where my family picked my college and my major and the person I would marry, all with no input from me… because of you and your streams. It was just...” He chuckled to himself. “You just seemed so happy, your friends and your chat loved you, and when your parents would walk in and we’d hear them or you’d tell a story about them… I wanted that. I wanted people in my life who really loved me because they loved me and not because of what I could add to some arbitrary number, so… I left.” 

“What the fuck,” you whispered.

“I thought... if I wasn’t going to have that at home, I should fight like hell to leave. So, I traded all that money, those opportunities, what I thought was the love of my family... for my freedom.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“I… I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time processing that I inspired you to want to be free of your gilded cage, and you never even let on that you knew who I was.” You rubbed your eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

He laughed. “Sorry.”

“You should be,” you laughed.

You were quiet for a few moments.

“So, what do we do now?” You asked. “Now that I know you know a ton about me and have known of me for a big chunk of my life?”

“Yeah… I don’t know.”

“Mmm… well… maybe you could tell me more about you? To even it out.”

“I’m good with that.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“And maybe… we could start streaming together again?”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I sort of miss having you around. Who am I going to work on our Minecraft house with? Or build a new house with? What if I want a summer home?”

“Hmm… I mean, everyone else does hate playing it.”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “But my chat loves it. You’ve definitely cornered the market.”

He laughed. “I suppose… I could come back. You know, so you have someone to play with.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I’ve never met a man so willing to sacrifice himself for someone else’s happiness.”

He chuckled. “Can you send that to my parents in writing?”

You laughed loudly.

“I remember being called a ‘selfish little shit’ at least fourteen times during one fight, so I think it’d make their heads explode.”

“If you really want me to write it, I’ll write it. And hey, I’m kinda famous, so…”

“Nah, you don’t have to.” He chuckled.

You smiled. “Shit, wait.”

“What?”

“I told everyone we broke up, remember? To flush Byungchul out.”

“Oh, yeah.”

You thought for a few moments. That fucker really had to ruin every aspect of your life, huh? Unless… 

“Unless…”

“Unless?”

“Unless you come back as Namhae.”

“Oh… yeah.”

“Because JGG broke up with MorningStar, so he can’t come back, but Mountain of Namhae can definitely be promoted to stream buddy.”

“I think… he could definitely do that.”

“Can you ask him for me?”

He laughed and put his hand over his mic, pretending to talk to someone else. “Can you-- oh! Oh, you can? Okay, I’ll tell her.” 

You laughed.

He took his hand off. “He said he can.”

“It’d probably be weird if we played the Minecraft game we played before so we’ll have to start over so no one catches on. But… Namhae will finally get to hang out with the streamer he’s been watching for years and years, who inspired him to be happy.” 

You dangled the idea in front of him, knowing it would be a good story for the chat as well. They already liked ‘Namhae’ so they would have no problem accepting San under his original name.

“Hmm,” San mused. You thought it sounded like he was smiling. “I think he’d really like that.”

You laughed. “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?”

“I’m sorry! I was talking about Namhae!” 

The two of you laughed.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Two out of three secrets have been revealed to y/n!

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

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[officialsollux]

What do you think of erifef :-)

ahhh erifef..... it's about the misunderstanding. it's about being the opposite of who you seem to be when you're looking at one another. it's about the being kids too young dealing with stakes too high and using violence and using each other until finally that violence goes ON one another.

Feferi is VERY misunderstood in canon in part because she sounds very sure of herself and the things people around her are doing when in fact that narrative is NOT the true reality of the situation. she is. so so so. and i truly do mean so. witch of life core. she needs Eridan and she is in some ways using him and then switching her desire to be rid of him when she doesn't need him. she views the things he does always as sincere or manipulative in the opposite direction Eridan is acting, which is ironic since they've known each other for so long, but also, half the time Eridan gets absorbed. Feferi finds Eridan too much! he is too much for her! and she is someone who like. has to put herself first or she will twist the situation to suit those needs. but for Eridan she resents him in part because she did try to fit herself into a position with him for a long time because of this relationship with orphaning he had with her that she felt free of in the game. Feferi is in no place when she is a preteen/young teenager to be around very hyper-sensitive and traumatised individuals who she feels any responsibility towards. Eridan is like all of this plus she feels trapped. Which just sort of captures them in this cycles of him feelings overbearing so forth.

Eridan on the other hand is like. Not seeing Feferi as manipulative, but rather fated -- which is part of troll romance and also part of being thirteen -- but it does give some distance between who she is and how he's romanticising her. He loses himself in her perspective. And he is also devaluing a dynamic Feferi is putting effort into maintaining even though it is taxing on her because he wants her in another quadrant. And to be honest, had Feferi returned his feelings, I DO think they'd have been much better flush rather than pale -- hence Feferi being able to like Sollux who has quite a few of the traits that make her irate with Eridan. Though to be honest, I think that relationship probably would wear on her too. Eridan also has all these opinions he's loud about that he doesn't really mean that are the opposite of what Feferi's trying to do. I cannot even truly get a grasp if she believes it because I kind of do think she should be able to see through it, but I do think Feferi is very very bad at empathy. I don't say that negatively -- how you grow with low empathy can be completely neutral. But Feferi is also this counter to Eridan's perspective and they are wrapped up in each other more than anything so if we're being real, I think their perspectives match up more than people would think -- they just cope differently with coming to grips with the position they hold and how to self identify. they miss giant chunks of themselves in opposing ways. they are each other's foils.

now if we're talking about shipping erifef. my opinion is. when they are thirteen. it is not going to work. they are toxic bad bad bad for one another. Eridan is obnoxious to some extent but a lot of this is just on how Feferi kind of is -- which is why I feel like there's not enough great Feferi meta out there. She has sooooo many great traits, and she is so young, but she also is manipulative and violent and sure of how things should be even when she could be wrong. How she treats Eridan is not great on many occasions, not that she doesn't have every right to get space from him, and not that Eridan's isn't someone who shoots himself in the foot constantly trying to interact or portray himself ever.

I used to be really intense about them for a while and then I went the opposite way and I just like this week started thinking of them romantically again. But it's like very much in the context of this fic I'm writing.

I think if they both grew up enough to umask a lot (which I think for Eridan will end with a complete collapse of self and will happen fast and will end up with him falling into guilt & self hatred, still self obsessed, but with a loss of his armour and ideology) (likewise, for Feferi, I think it'd need to be drawn to her attention, repeatedly, shoved in her face what she is and what's she's like, and I think the way she'd come to grips is in fear of the weight on her shoulders and what if she, after time passes by and by and by, could become like her ancestor?) they could potentially be a romantic match.

The thing is. Eridan does genuinely love Feferi a LOT. And I do think Feferi loves Eridan too, she just isn't equipped to meet his needs. Feferi wants to help people so badly. She wants the world to be better. She has a world in her head that's counter to the violence pushed upon them, but it's still wrapped up in the huge privilege they both share. She can't really handle not wanting to fulfill a position, especially one someone else could. Like, the situation with Eridan does need to Be Flipped on Eridan, whether or not that's an accurate representation of the situation or not. Because the way Feferi needs to meet her needs also needs to met by her sense of security in perception. She resents Eridan mostly because of what she doesn't want to be for him.

now. if we are talking pale -- I don't think there's ever a time when it would be necessarily smart for the two of them to be moirails. that's like, the worst matched quadrant for them by FAR. flushed i'm like, well Feferi doesn't like Eridan and that's her right, so it's one of those things where, I wouldn't want her to change her mind to suit him unless they'd both moved on from his childhood crush you know. I CAN see her liking him as they mature. If they unmask. I think she might kind of start to like the balance Eridan has and the sweetness he holds for her. She also has feelings for Sollux who has more in common with Eridan than either of them would like to admit. I can see it being very sweet, especially if Eridan has a good moirail too. But I still think it could go VERY badly. their personalities are kind of bad for one another in many ways. So it depends on how they grow up and how stable they are.

they should not be kismeses. it would uh. destroy Eridan. even if they weren't childhood friends and he liked her red. like i cannot tell you enough how bad that would be. still perhaps not as poorly matched as moirails for both of them, but for Eridan. yeah not good.

so yeah flushed erifef could go hard in very specific circumstances, childhood friends make me SOFT. it's about the love it's about the history it's about the growing up together. i think erifef is compelling and toxic. they are foils. but in more complicated ways than people always think.

[hadescabin]

TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION breaking down tigerheartstar and dovewing and why i think its awful ik I said that I dont really like warrior cats anymore but recently i've been thinking about some stuff regarding the series and its fandom and there's one thing that's been particularly bothering me. dovewing and tigerheart. it's just crazy to see the shift of support for tigerdove considering early 2010s warriors fandom seemed mixed on them. now there seems to be this equivocal support for them, probably because most of the fandom's exposure to the couple has been the recent books which frames them as man who loves his wife x burnt out prophecy kid who will do anything for her malewife. which theres nothing wrong with that dynamic, i think it's cute, but people really seem to forget about how tigerheart straight up groomed and treated dovewing awfully throughout oots and even in tigerheart's shadow. it seems to be a forgotten fact that tigerheart was a full grown warrior by the time he was pursuing dovepaw, who was a newly made apprentice. for perspective, this was a 6-7 moon teenager with someone almost the age of her mentor (a little younger). people try to use the excuse "oh but they're cats" and "the age gap isnt that bad" but even the recent books acknowledge with frostpaw and splashtail, that a warrior and apprentice dating is WEIRD. tbf oots was released in the early 2000s, but the fact that canonically speaking the age gap is seen as a teenager and adult relationship gives me the ick. it really puzzles me to see people get on ships like dustfern and bramblesquirrel (both of which i hate btw) for their age gaps but come up with every excuse in the books to defend tigerdove. its not even just the age gap too, again, their relationship has consisted of tigerheart manipulating and grooming dovepaw to do what he wants. in the first two books (esp the second book of oots) dovepaw is presented as someone who got attached to the cats from the journey and doesnt necessarily understand why they must act like they shouldnt exist anymore due to the borders. this is something that tigerheart LEARNS and actively takes advantage of when dovepaw questions why hes at their borders (tldr its dark forest stuff). he shifts the topic and then goes on about the journey and how he felt that they almost became friends, and that if they were in the same clan things would be easier. this may not seem like a big deal, but this goes on for the rest of their interactions whenever tiger needs to pressure her to do something she doesnt want (meeting up, trusting him, etc.) He realizes that the subject of different borders resonates with her and uses it to his advantage whenever he wants something out of her. This can especially be seen in the next book, “Night Whispers”, which kickstarted their relationship. Dovepaw accidentally ran into ShadowClan territory while hunting, and Tigerheart happens to find her there. Once again, he gives her a speech about borders being meaningless, before asking her to meet up with him before the ShadowClan patrol catches them. There’s also other examples in later books where he coerces her into meeting up or trusting him since “that’s what friends are for” or even later in that book, where he manipulates her into using Ivypaw as a captive for herbs. 

When you take this into account, plus him as a full grown warrior, starting a romantic relationship with a barely apprenticed Dovepaw who is shown as having a childish/ immature perception on romance/mates (such as her argument with Ivypaw and claiming that she should “find her own mate”), Tigerdove feels very much like grooming to me. According to the dictionary definition grooming is, “the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them”. Of course, in this case, since it’s a young adult book, it’s to form a romantic relationship, which could also be another goal of grooming. Groomers tend to display manipulative behaviors towards the victims in order to coerce them into trusting them more. Whether that be through compliments, gifts, trying to resonate with them or make them feel special. They tend to try to get them to keep and “share” secrets, which is another tactic they utilize both to isolate the victim and to get them to feel more comfortable. 

A lot of behaviors that Tigerheart displays towards Dovepaw falls under this, including the examples I mentioned. There are a couple of other comments that he makes which come off as creepy such as Dovepaw “being his favorite sister”, which as I established, is something a groomer would say in order to make the victim feel as though they’re special and garner their trust. Which is especially the case when you note that he makes that comment in reference to Dovepaw asking about his ties to Ivypaw, which he actively lies about, and quickly reassures her that there’s nothing going on. 

This tactic of manipulation, where he either makes her feel special, or even love bombs and dissuade her from standing up for herself, doesn’t stop when she’s an apprentice. It continues when she’s a warrior, and is constantly used throughout OOTS and “Tigerheart’s Shadow”. At one point in the series, Dovewing and Tigerheart get into an argument about Dawnpelt wrongfully accusing Jayfeather of murder. When Tigerheart defends his sister, Dovewing stands up for Jayfeather, which prompts Tigerheart to try and manipulate her out of the conversation. He jumps straight to talking about how much he loved and missed her, and guilts her by asking why they had to argue like this, and why they couldn’t just “meet like before”. As for Tigerheart's Shadow, he actively goes against what she wants (to raise her kits outside the clan) and actively pressures and guilts her into coming back, before she finally relents. He doesn't care about what SHE wants, it's always about him. Whether it be secretly meeting up, or in The Last Hope, he tries to pressure her to date him again (which she FINALLY refuses and scolds him for thinking about his own needs when they're right before a final battle. as she should). It's especially upsetting in the newest book that tigerheart seems to be the only think at the center of her character. when she argues with ivypool, it's less about the two sister's interpersonal conflicts and more about her and tigerheart's relationship. which...feels like a lot of missed potential to me? i want them to argue, i want dovewing to stand up to herself against ivypool, but why does the entire conflict have to revolve around him? why can't dovewing have her own thoughts and feelings without it tying back to her awful husband?

[presidenthades]

Trigger warning: Birth and infertility

Randomly popped in my mind. We know, due to prophecy,Jace and Aegon are going to have three children. But how will that be possible? Jace's first birth was really tough, it almost took her life and she was relatively young (not Aemma Arryn young but young). And Aegon is very afraid to lose Jace so how do they decide to have more kids? (I just know Aegon would age 90 years in those 9 months after what happened with Elaenar's birth)

And when they come around how is Jace able to safely deliver? I know every birth is different but some births mess up mother's bodies really badly they're never able to conceive and/or give birth again. I'm sorry if this is a rude or an out of pocket ask, but after we saw what happened to Aemma Arryn I got confused. (You know since she couldn't deliver healthy children because she was bedded and gave birth too young.)

Again, I am sorry if this is a gloomy ask 🙏🏼Ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Good question!

(I would like to take this moment to point out, again, that GRRM makes his female characters get married and have kids younger than even the real medieval world would’ve deemed appropriate. In the Middle Ages, a lot of women, especially commoners, didn’t get married until their 20’s. But we’re playing in GRRM’s sandbox, so…)

I don’t have an expert understanding of obstetrics, and there is some fictional hand-waving involved. But my thinking is that despite the difficulty with them waiting for Elenar to turn the right way, he was born in the ideal head-down position (thanks, Aunt Joff), and the birth didn’t cause long-lasting damage to Jace.

IMO, a lot of Aemma’s issues were because A) she got pregnant as soon as possible at age 13, and B) she probably wasn’t given much recovery time between the miscarriages and stillbirths. Even though from a modern perspective 16 is very young to give birth, there can be a huge developmental difference between a 13yo and a 16yo. That’s a major reason Rhaenyra demanded that Jace and Aegon wait to consummate the marriage. Rhaenyra would probably have preferred they wait even longer, but 16 is the age of majority in Westeros.

Aegon and Jace are also doing their best to prevent another pregnancy for a while, so Jace isn’t having another baby until she feels ready. I think after a few years, Jace will want more kids, and she’ll be the one who has to convince Aegon to try again. (It should also be noted that moon tea, like any contraceptive, isn’t 100% effective.)

If/when Jace gets pregnant again, Aegon is probably immediately taking her to Dragonstone for the entire duration of the pregnancy to reduce her stress and risk factors. I can also imagine Aegon gathering a bunch of pregnancy/childbirth experts from Westeros and Essos. (And that’s how Aegon inadvertently hosts the world’s first obstetrics conference.)

[fandom-hoarder]

Grabbing these tags by @deanwinchesterpregnant from this post to expand.

Because yes, this is a very important part! Sam says it, too!

And while there ARE Sam haters that will say "Sam doesn't know how much Dean sacrificed!" and mean it as a JUDGEMENT and omg wooby!Dean; there are also people like me, who started writing s1 Sam POVs to understand him better, and suddenly connected him to my little brother like, 'OH. Sam doesn't KNOW. How COULD he know??😭' and it's not a judgment of his character or his love for Dean! And he's not stupid! They're both just kids who have yet to work through their own shit enough to realize they don't know EVERYTHING about each other, despite their shared history. It's part of why Sam says in In My Time of Dying that they were "just starting to be brothers again."

Obviously it's a necessary part of s1 to give us, the viewer, expositional glimpses into Sam and Dean's inner workings. But the way they each react to certain new revelations about each other are still canon even if there are Doylist reasons.

It's canon that Sam didn't know Dean carried him out of the fire. It's canon that Dean has felt responsible for Sam almost being eaten by a shtriga since he was 9/10 years old, and it's canon that Sam never even knew that happened. It's canon that the memory of Mary was so coveted by Dean and John that Sam has virtually no connection to her; no stories and no echoes of her in the way they live other than the infamous Winchester Surprise.

It's canon that Sam doesn't really have any happy holiday memories, and Dean does. It's canon that their perspective on the same shared holidays is completely different. It's canon that Dean stole Christmas decorations and presents for Sam and apparently none for himself. And it's canon that Sam realized Dean did that for him and gave him his only present. And it's canon that remembering that made grown-up Sam want to give Dean Christmas even though it meant admitting something hurtful to himself. (John not showing up for Christmas/Dean's last Christmas)

If you put yourself in Sam's shoes--- a kid left alone for most of his formative years; unable to put down roots and make friends; whose best friend, the only one who could even try to understand him, is his good little soldier brother--- it's easier to understand why Sam felt lonely and became a much more introspective person. Because he was literally stuck with just his thoughts and anxieties and the TV for days at a time. When you think about how sick he must've been about it, every time Dean and John would leave. Waiting for that next phone call. Biting his fingernails when the call was late. Wanting to be invited to prove yourself, but also because if you're THERE at least you KNOW what happens.

But then, too, if you can put yourself in Dean's place: it's not necessarily something a kid or young adult can fully appreciate--- especially a somewhat emotionally immature young adult--- that their little sibling is a completely autonomous person with their own inner life. They don't just pause when you leave their sight. Dean throws himself into the hunt, and isn't thinking about how much Sam is worrying about them. He's thinking, "Sam is safe, so I can focus on backing Dad up."

It sounds selfish, but it's simply a fact of the maturing brain that it takes some time to comprehend someone else's existence outside of you as a real thing and not just a vague concept.

So, to touch on another aspect that gets discoursed:

There ARE a lot of things about Dean's parentification that Sam doesn't know at first, but he has always known about it to SOME degree. He had his own perspective on it, and for sure I wouldn't say that Sam thought of Dean as his parent. Dean has definitely always been his older and somewhat overbearing big brother. But who do you think Sam took his problems to? Who threatens to rip his bully's lungs out in After School Special? Who remembers what fucking play Sam did in drama?

And a short related aside--- thinking about how Sam was surprised about the things of his John had in storage. His surprise that John kept an eye on him at Stanford. And relating these things that changed Sam's understanding of his father, to the way his understanding of Dean shifted with each revelation of what Dean had done for him. And despite everything Sam ALREADY knew, his adult brain and life experiences gave him new perspective on things.

This maybe is a little rambley, but oh well. What was I saying...

Oh yeah. So sometimes people get upset about Dean being given like. More praise than he deserves or something, by having those "you practically raised me" lines and things. As if it's a retcon. But it's really not.

It's Sam growing up, and his brain constantly taking in new information and reshaping his understanding. It's Sam seeing how much Dean blames himself for things that weren't his fault, and wanting Dean to see the good he's done. It's Sam being able to see Dean's heart underneath his codependent or selfish decisions, and reaching out. It's Sam trying to remind Dean he can lean on Sam, too.

I've gone off on a tangent and made myself tear up lol. I don't remember where I wanted to end up anymore. Somewhere in the ether there's another rant about how Dean has a harder time allowing himself the introspection on his perception of Sam, and how this leads to Sam having to do a lot of the leading on the emotional maturity of their relationship, and how hard this is when the person you're leading still sees you as their kid, in whatever capacity.

But ultimately, of COURSE Sam does as much for Dean. Of course Sam has agency in this and isn't Dean's baby that had a pampered childhood vs Dean's horrible one. Sam and Dean acknowledging the actual circumstances of their childhood dynamic doesn't have to be a Samgirls vs Deangirls fucking situation lol.

[batsplat]

casey if you want the showers-

https://www.tumblr.com/kingofthering/766887733130084352/sounds-fantastic

random thought: maybe being a part of a structure like the academy might have fixed teenage casey stoner……

(x) he's getting in the shower, he's enjoying the sausage, he's having it all

and oh hm this is SUCH an interesting idea that had never occurred to me. with the academy, I often think about how valentino himself never ever would have joined it... just this implicitly subservient position to another rider, any restraints placed on individualism, losing the ability to define himself to the same extent... I do actually think valentino would be pretty good at team sports, like it's not a loner mentality that would be the dealbreaker - it's just that specifically the academy vibe would not have been for him

with casey... I mean, yeah, maybe? yeah, I reckon you're right. that could have worked miracles for casey. the closest he got was being one of alberto puig's kids for a while (hence the 27 to dani's 26), but obviously that was a very different vibe. this is how puig is being described in 2006 (x):

Puig is a very powerful figure in the paddock, running teams in the lower classes, as well as the MotoGP Academy, widely acknowledged as the best route into premier class racing for young riders. His influence is hard to exaggerate, and when you add in his forceful personality, known for attempting to silence those who criticize his riders, this makes him a potentially disruptive figure in any team. He is, like so many people involved at the very highest levels of professional sport, utterly driven, and people who are so driven often find it difficult to keep a sense of perspective. Alberto Puig is concerned with only one thing: that the riders he coaches should win. Nothing else matters. In a sense, this is totally understandable: He is paid to nurture young talent to produce winning riders, and he is remarkably good at his job. But his focus and his drive rubs off on his protégés, and can turn them into single-minded, dour automatons, concerned only with their own performance, and little else.

not very valentino, is it. like you do probably want an actual academy-esque structure where the kids within it actually get the chance to... y'know. bond. care about each other. no puig

and while puig did play a critical role in casey's career, that's still a connection that had more or less fizzled out by the time casey gets to motogp. so obviously no real equivalent in casey's career. and... I mean, yeah, surely it would have changed a lot. it always comes back to the same few things with casey, doesn't it. casey, who was bullied at school, who was frequently made an outsider even in the australian motorcycling community until he was eventually pushed out of the country entirely... the impact of this hypothetical academy structure does depend a bit on when it would GET to casey - because by the age vr46 typically steps in, a lot of casey's formative experiences have already happened to him. he doesn't get a racing licence from the AJRRA (the australian road racing association controlled mainly by parents of kids casey had been beating most of his life). he has to leave the country. they leave his sister behind. they depend on the charity of others in england. his family is 100% financially dependent on his racing success. every opportunity feels like it could be his last. like... this is stuff that's kind of set by the time he's 14-15. the contrast between his childhood and valentino's is discussed in this post:

and yeah, obviously a lot of that stuff would have already happened. then again, having somebody step in when he was... what, maybe 16-17-ish? and give him some job + financial security... I mean in blunt terms, I know this ask was probably more thinking about the community aspect - but you cannot understate the importance that these practical elements would have had for casey. and yes, there's the more emotional element of... finally being let into a club, of having someone fight your corner, of knowing you've got this structure looking out for you. of handling your contract negotiations - casey also talks about how he and his father frequently just felt like they didn't GET the paddock politics; the insider/outsider dynamic is so foundational to his experience in the sport. all these unspoken rules casey just didn't know... having someone there who DOES know and is looking out for you and can take care of everything bar the riding would have made such a difference

and my god, yeah, there's the community aspect. so much of casey's time in the sport is defined by how deeply, deeply lonely he was. the childhood friendships he'd had either get left behind or are eroded by competitive tensions. he never gets close to another premier class rider, doesn't get particularly close to his team either. in 2009, he said his only friend in the paddock was his wife. and... y'know, while I have no doubt the paddock could feel like a pretty hostile place, I also reckon it would've been a good thing for someone to force casey out of his shell a little bit. like, I get not getting close to your direct competitors, I doubt I'd be massively different, but maintaining that level of distance from basically everyone you travel with most of the year feels... not ideal. at least befriend some of the mechanics my man. looking at some of the canonical vr46 academy riders - naming no names, but I can also easily imagine them in the loner category if the academy hadn't picked them up. and at least THEY could still fall back on childhood friends and acquaintances if they hadn't had the academy, more so than a bloke who moved to a different continent aged fourteen. casey needed some friends!! and maybe just an occasional reminder that not the whole world is out to get him

so YEAH I do agree an academy-esque structure would've made a MASSIVE difference... to the extent that it's almost tough to imagine that version of casey. it does make you realise just how foundational all of this angst feels to casey, in a sad way. what does he even look like without his isolation... you might wonder whether that change would take a bit of his edge away - it's just undeniable that he got a lot of motivation and drive out of his oppositional dynamic with the rest of the world. he wanted to show everyone that they were wrong about him... the rejection by the club back home in australia made him angry, the rejection of teams in motogp made him angry... and well, his circumstances did make him desperate. they made him hungry. it's what he talks about here, isn't it, the feeling that some young riders just aren't taking their riding seriously enough, contrasting it to how he knew he had to take every single opportunity he was given. valentino vs casey about young riders (2009//2013):

(remember that the question valentino got explicitly referred back to an earlier answer about casey - "serious and sad" is kinda his characterisation of casey specifically)

then again. saying this pain was necessary to casey's success would be needlessly myopic, casey has plenty of drive even without piling on the horrors when he was 16-20, give the kid some friends y'know. you can still be plenty neurotic within an academy, you can still cultivate a persecution complex, look at pecco. also, y'know, obviously sports success isn't worth miserable children and never will be. and I suspect casey himself has softened a bit from the stance expressed in his autobiography - I've been thinking again about that podcast interview he gave earlier this year that takes a more explicitly critical view on how his parents forced their dream on him

speaking of, another big benefit of the academy is in outsourcing the role of enforcing discipline so that it's no longer the parents doing it, which again just feels considerably healthier. casey basically says as much in his autobiography:

though, again, I wouldn't call puig a particularly helpful influence either, and jorge's experience with amatriain should be enough evidence that it doesn't take a parent to establish an unhealthy (and even abusive) dynamic. obviously, the assumption here is that you drop casey in a vr46-esque academy - for all his sins, the academy valentino set up in no way resembles how these other 'talent spotters' manage their charges. it's just... it's a safety net, isn't it, in every sense. financially, job security-wise, socially... obviously it's always going to be performance-dependent, yes, but that bit's never going to be an issue for any version of casey

so, yeah. maybe not 'fix' casey exactly, but it would've changed so much for him... it does feel like it would've been an unambiguously positive presence in his life. no, it wouldn't just erase all his issues with the sport - but if he could've found a place within an academy structure like that, he would've been a lot happier for it. probably could've loved the sport more than he did. certainly would've felt a lot less alone

[abroadlifeactually]

Its a Vibe (Free of Ghosts)

Over the last several years my birthday has been a week-long celebration. My 30th was spent relaxing on a beach and partying in Aruba with my best friend, which ushered in the trend to always do something lavish for my birthday. I maintained this tradition with vacations and spa treatments over the years. However, things started to change when I turned 40. One, I was pregnant, and two, it was during the covid years, thus severely altering how I could celebrate.  Last year we took a trip to the Philippines as a 40th redux, and to give me much needed R&R since our move abroad earlier that year was pretty rough. It was an amazing trip, but it wasn’t the “all about me” birthday vacation I had gotten used to. Sunbeam had just started to ween off breastfeeding, so I was pumping for relief and doing my best to maintain her schedule while we were away. On our return home Sunbeam got sick in the airport leaving us quarantined in a tiny hospital room for 2 days with all our luggage, no wifi, cell phone service, or drinking water, and a toilet leaking all over the floor. But that’s a story for another time. 

This past birthday the realization set in that the old days of sipping champagne all day aren’t returning; but it’s okay because my life is evolving, and change is a natural part of growth. At first I felt the need to cling to my old bday tradition to hold on to my “bad b*tch” aesthetic. Being able to splurge on myself and luxuriate for several days made me confident and independent. However, now I’m in a place where trying to uphold those traditions along with my new responsibilities is much harder. It’s not impossible, but definitely requires a lot more effort and planning, which can feel like a lot.

So what does a good birthday look like now? Earlier this year we took a family vacation to the Maldives, and were planning a visit back west around the holidays, so traveling was not an option. I thought about what brings me joy now, as a woman with a family. Hearing the happy squeals of my child brings me life, so I opted to bring Sunbeam to an indoor play gym in the morning, since she’s still a little too young to really enjoy Disney.  We had the place to ourselves. Later that evening, my husband arranged for our nanny to come so we could enjoy the evening out. He planned a beautiful evening. We ate a 6 course meal in a private room at the top of a building with a breathtaking view of the city. I was all dressed up and felt beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with my family.

As my life continues to evolve, my birthday celebration has to take other factors into account. This encouraged me to reexamine my perspective on what makes my birthday meaningful, and embrace what comes with evolution. I’m grateful for the way my life is progressing and all the new experiences it brings, which makes these changes all the more welcome.

Now on another note….this birthday also indicated that an ex situationship has FINALLY moved on. I met my husband back in 2016, and with any new relationship it may take some time for ex lingerers to officially cut ties. But when I was done or over a person, I would totally disappear, they’d never hear from me again.  So when Hubby and I met, I may have gotten a rogue text here or there, but for the most part we just moved forward uninterrupted.

But there was one. An ex? Not sure you could call him that, it really never got that serious, so I’ll just say someone I dated briefly. This person would send happy birthday texts every year to no response. This shockingly went on for 6 YEARS. There were no other messages exchanged in between, because we weren’t in contact. But every year without fail I’d get a random text filled with bitmoji. One year the text came with 6 different Bitmojis…. I thought about responding a few times just to say I’m married, or I’m married and pregnant, or I’m married with a kid and don’t even live in the country anymore. But I couldn’t figure out how to bring that up with a happy birthday text, and also didn’t feel conversing, so opted for cold silence instead.

These messages were especially surprising because he was the “i’m so busy” type. He made it very clear he was suuuper busy with all of his goals, so he needed to be focused. He was the type that presented as if he had it all figured out, while he questioned my ambition. The reality was, we just had different goals. But somewhere between my mid twenties and early thirties I fully accepted that I wasn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, which allowed me to stay grounded and not take negative things men said to me seriously. It was usually them, and not me. I’m not claiming to be perfect, but I stand by that assessment. I also didn’t try to change anyone’s mind, so when our communication gradually faded, it was all good. 

At first, the birthday messages made sense, right?  We were cool, there were no hard feelings. So the first time I got a text after all communication completely stopped I responded “wow, I can’t believe you remembered, thank you”. The following year, “thank you!!!” But in 2018 I decided, I wasn’t going to respond anymore messages, to send the message, MOVE ON. But he continued, he sent birthday texts year after year, to no response. I was slightly amused, but more so confused. Like, what was the reason!?!  We weren’t friends. I’ll never know what his motivations were, but for the first time in seven years the birthday texts finally stopped. I think he’s finally got the hint and moved on, good for him.

[sueske]

See this is why I could never let go of the “sarada was an experiment/test tube kid” because everything about it makes so much more sense for sasuke and sakuras absolutely bizarre dynamic in gaiden and beyond including how they don’t act like a normal married couple at all and how there’s still so much mystery around their relationship even after gaiden

i just could never really subscribe to the “sakura wore sasuke down and followed him for so long so he just finally married her and had a kid” theory HOWEVER i can easily see sasuke quickly marrying sakura after sarada is born and playing pretend normal family with her as his own way of trying to make sarada’s early life be as normal as possible with two parents because he knows that her finding out she was an experiment would be extremely traumatic for her (and it just sounds like something sasuke would DO because it’s a rational decision and he wants sarada to grow up in a somewhat normal environment)

also I know for a fact that sakura’s character would HAPPILY agree to raise sasuke’s kid (or any uchiha clone) because in her mind if she raises sarada…….she will also by default finally have sasuke…..like they would finally have something that actually connects them (cue sasuke’s “because we have you” weird speech) even though he still can’t manage to kiss or hug her like if they were actually in love

kishimoto certainly portrayed them as being in a loveless marriage whose feelings are only connected because of their kid. and what type of feelings exactly? it's left pretty vague, but it's clear they're not feelings of love from sasuke's side. the test tube theory makes the most sense tbh, even with the new developments in boruto.

in any case sasuke didn't quickly marry sakura after giving birth to sarada. you can tell by the uchiha crest.

this is during a flashback in gaiden - sarada looks quite young here, but neither her or sakura are wearing the uchiha crest.

this is during chapter 700 - they both look a bit older, but again neither of them are wearing the crest. it's also an interesting choice to show us their backs in clear view like that, we all know how careful kishimoto is with his angles and perspectives 😅

then we have another flashback in gaiden where finally we can see sakura wearing the crest - it's a bit unclear but you can still make out its shape.

the exact timings of the flashbacks are unclear but based on how they look my guess is that once sarada got older and started asking questions about her dad, sakura raised this concern to sasuke, and sometime during while he was in konoha to accept the mission they got officially married on paper, in sasuke's case to make it easier on sarada. they certainly didn't have a ceremony or anything because sakura doesn't have a ring and there's not even a wedding photo to show for it.

and then in gaiden (sarada is much older now) we can see the uchiha crest on their clothes and on the house that sakura eventually destroyed because she got angry her daughter was questioning her marriage... uhm...

I know some ss like to bring up 'sarada's memory' of them all:

but first of all kishi doesn't draw flashbacks like this. the actual flashback started after that panel. secondly, they're all wearing the uchiha crest. in the actual flashbacks above neither sakura or sarada wore the crests until sarada was much bigger. sasuke doesn't even wear his at all after the last anymore. It's more of a fantasy image on sarada's part. and kishimoto did draw something in a similar style at the start of gaiden:

this is sarada's fantasy of how she thought her father daughter reunion was going to go down, but never actually did. both of these events are things that never happened basically, but that she likes to imagine.

edit: forgot to mention that sarada herself said that for as long as she can remember she has never even met him. so yeah, it's obviously not a memory.

[cinamun]

Hey Cina, So a thought on Charlie from a personal and TV family perspective. Charlie reminds me of a male family member that told me when began to get to know his now wife that he knew that he wanted to be with her. So he let go of other chicks, made sure he was gainfully employed, and pursued her. And obviously it worked, they married and had kids. It was end of discussion for him. In the character of Charlie I see similar traits. It doesn't make those that know what they want in a wife/husband weird or stalkerish or pushy (as long as other actions don't promote those things.) It just puts on the table their focused intent. And Charlie has put on the table what he wants, as Dira has put on the table what she wants too which now may include dabbling with the other team. So they are at an impasse. But I kinda feel like Charlie is similar to Darren in a way. Darren knew he wanted Indya really from jump, but waited out the long term plan like Steve Urkel /Stefan Urquelle putting out there his intent, but letting her do her young girl thing because he knew eventually "He would wear her down baby." by presenting himself as the best choice she could not refuse and genuinely accepting her good and her flaws. I believe there may have been some unseen moments in this particular FWB relationship with Charlie and Dira that she has let through that maybe aren't seen with the other guys and I think that might unnerve her. (As Nikki used to say "You see right through me") because Dira comes off as having a façade about her that brings sex into the conversation alot (Like Indya in her young girl days.) If this relationship is continued in the future RRR chapters, I would love to see how they (Charlie & Dira) met and what drew him to her as he is not her typical feed me, flaunt me, and F me pick of guy, and he doesn't seem to have a game style or buckets of money. But if he decides to give her some space (again like Darren.) and get to know another one especially if that other one is also sassy, Brown, and servin' curves it might cause Dira to come to terms with some things about her deeper feelings on relationships sooner than she would like. Just a take.

PS - Flowers to TheRichAntSim!

Good morning!

I appreciate the take, and I don't think Charlie is anything like Darren. Charlie is just a young man who fell in love. Darren was an abusive man who used love to hurt and to feel good. Love should never include the former to the extent that it did with Darren.

Also Charlie told y'all he helped her move in so you could probably guess that he's been around for a minute. As a friend. As a friend with benefits.

This take is heavily weighted on Charlie being this sweet gentlemen we want more of and Dira being some flawed individual who needs to "come to terms" with something doesn't sit well with me. I can't guarantee we'll get any glimpse into his life other than what we see right now.

Dira has caught more hell since she grew up to a young adult than Bishop did before he got shanked.

Again, why does something have to be wrong with Dira?

[foundtherightwords]

Same Streets, New Memories

Pairing: Eddie x Chrissy (No Vecna/No Upside Down AU)

Summary: Sixteen years after he got his diploma and ran like hell out of Hawkins, Eddie is forced to return home. Disappointed and disillusioned, he broods over his past failures, until a chance meeting with a certain former Queen of Hawkins High puts things into perspective for him.

A/N: This is mostly inspired by the song I Finally Love This Town by Tired Pony. Also, I've seen a lot of "rock star Eddie" fics, so I wanted to explore the opposite of that - what if he never made it big at all?

Warnings: angst (quarter-life crisis stuff - they're all in their mid-30s though, is that too late for a quarter-life crisis?), mentions of drug dealing, drug use, and drinking, some violence

Word count: 6.5k

"Hawkins!" the driver called out amidst the hissing of the brakes, jolting Eddie from the stupor he'd sank into since the Greyhound left Indianapolis. He sat up in his seat and rubbed his aching neck, trying to suppress a groan. Sometimes he'd forgotten he could no longer fall asleep in any position and wake up just fine. For one thing, he wasn't nineteen anymore; for another, all those years spent pretzeled up into all sorts of shapes in the van, on the floor, or on the couch of anyone kind enough to let him crash at their place, were catching up with him.

The bus door clunked open, and Eddie stepped off, blinking in the watery spring sun. It took him a while to recognize that Hawkins' Greyhound station was still in the same place—the parking lot of Palace Arcade and Family Video—because Family Video had been taken over by a Blockbuster, while a Starbucks had replaced the Palace.

It had been sixteen years since he left, and he wasn't prepared for the changes. They say you can never go home again. But what if the place had never felt like home in the first place?

He was one of the few that got off the bus. There were no familiar faces among the passengers or those that came to pick them up. All the better. He didn't want to see anyone he knew.

Hoisting his bag over his shoulder and picking up his guitar case, Eddie trudged toward Forest Hills Trailer Park. It was early March, yet the air was already muggy, even more uncomfortably so after the cool dryness of Los Angeles, and he ran an irritable hand through his fizzy hair, again regretting his decision to come home. Well, what were his options? Stay in LA and work some shitty job with shitty pay that couldn't even afford him a shitty apartment, or return to Hawkins and work some shitty job with shitty pay, but at least he could stay with Wayne in their shitty trailer so he could save money on rent? The second one was an obvious choice, even if it made his insides shrivel up in shame every time he paused long enough to think about it. The prodigal freak of Hawkins, slinking home with his tail between his legs... It'll be OK, he told himself without conviction. Humiliation rarely causes death.

As he walked through Hawkins, Eddie noticed all the changes in the landscape and the people, some subtle, some obvious, but changes nonetheless. Compared to the constant flux of LA, Hawkins seemed older, more tired, the people wearing a harsher look on their faces. He wondered how much of the changes came from himself.

At the turnoff, he almost collided with some spotty-faced kids rolling past on their skateboards. "Watch it, old man!" one of them yelled. The word stung. Eddie thought about giving them a piece of his mind, but thought better of it once he got a closer look at them. Jesus, did he ever look that young? He must have. And thirty-six is not old. Yet, watching those kids, with their frosted tips and the hems of their jeans dragging in the dust, he felt ancient, like Rip Van Winkle returning from his twenty-year-long sleep in the mountains.

But that feeling waned, the closer he got to the trailer. In fact, by the time he pushed open the door, it was as if no time had passed at all, and he was ten years old, getting dropped off by Hopper after Al got arrested yet again. By that point, Eddie had gotten used to staying with Wayne whenever his old man got into trouble, and neither of them had noticed when that particular stay had extended from days into weeks into months and finally years.

The trailer was a time capsule. There was the prehistoric TV by the door, the old faded rug on the floor, the cramped, messy kitchen. All the mugs and hats he'd given Wayne for Christmases and birthdays still lined the walls. It had started sort of as a joke one Christmas, when Eddie first started living with Wayne and couldn't think of a present for him. He had found a Garfield mug and bought it with the little money he had. Wayne had laughed upon opening it and given it the place of honor on the shelf over the TV. And so for Wayne's birthday next year, Eddie had bought him another mug, and another for Christmas, occasionally throwing in a hat just to keep Wayne on his toes, until it had become a tradition and Wayne had to put up new shelves around the living room for the mugs.

Eddie still remembered the Christmas he'd given Wayne a "World's Best Dad" mug.

"I'm sorry, they didn't have a 'World's Best Uncle' one," he'd mumbled apologetically. Wayne had said nothing, only clearing his throat and giving Eddie a tight hug.

And there was Wayne himself. Eddie looked at his uncle with sadness. When had Wayne become so worn out? Ever since Eddie knew him, he had seemed to have been born old, always of some undetermined age between forty-five and sixty, yet full of a quiet energy that never went out. Now, slumped in the rocking chair in front of the droning TV, he looked shrunk, a tired old man. Guilt pricked at Eddie's insides. He'd promised himself the first thing he'd do when Corroded Coffin got big was to get Wayne out of the trailer park and into a decent house, and not only had he failed, but he also had to ask Wayne to take him back.

Eddie sighed and gave Wayne's shoulder a gentle shake. The old man opened his eyes, blinking at his nephew.

"You're home," he said, as if Eddie had just left the previous day.

Eddie wondered if he'd ever really felt at home anywhere. Here, in this rundown trailer, with his gruff but kind uncle, was probably the closest he'd ever gotten. "Yeah," he said simply. "I'm home."

***

Eddie got a job as a bartender at the Hideout.

He suspected that Lenny, the owner, gave him the job for old times' sake more than anything, but it suited him just fine. It meant he got to go to work when most of the townspeople were already on their way home, so fewer chances of running into people he knew. Besides, those that knew him and might mock him didn't usually frequent the Hideout.

It didn't pay that well, and Eddie wondered if the idea of raising enough money to self-produce and release the next Corroded Coffin album was even plausible. He briefly considered dealing again. But even back in high school, he had never made much money from it, mostly just enough to buy a new record now and then. And he couldn't risk getting arrested. Plus, even if he wanted to, he wouldn't even know where to begin now.

"I had to get out, man," said Reefer Rick, when Eddie dropped by his house on Lover's Lake one afternoon. "Kids these days, they're so much tougher. Cannier. And they deal with the hard stuff. I couldn't keep up. I had this place. I had a nice bit of money put away. So I got out while I could." Rick was well on his way to middle age now, spending most of the time sitting on the porch drinking or even fishing on the lake, like those bozos they used to make fun of back in the day, and, oddly enough, he seemed content. Eddie envied him that.

Rick was one of the few old friends that Eddie saw. Eddie found his initial fear about running into people he knew laughable now, because there was almost no one left. All his friends from high school had moved away. His bandmates, Jeff and Grant, had gone to LA with him after graduation, but Gareth, who'd graduated a year later, never made it. "Sorry, man, my mom wants me to stay close," he'd said. They had found a replacement for him, but it was never quite the same.

One Sunday, Eddie ran into Gareth at the store. Gareth recognized him first, and no wonder—Gareth's hair was now cropped short, making his cherubic face look tired and much older than his thirty-three years.

"Holy shit, man, when did you get back?" he asked, giving Eddie a bear hug.

"Gareth, language!" hissed the woman holding a baby, standing just behind them at the check-out line.

"Sorry, hun," Gareth muttered and gave Eddie an embarrassed grin.

They caught up at the Hideout that night. Eddie was relieved to be able to unload to Gareth all about the band's struggle, as he knew no one else would understand. Gareth was understanding, but Eddie couldn't help feeling that his old friend was congratulating himself for not following them to LA and subjecting himself to such hardship. A boring life with a boring job and a boring wife in boring Hawkins was preferable to that. And then Gareth's pager beeped and he excused himself to get home because his wife needed help with the baby, and that was that.

The rest of Eddie's Hellfire buddies, all those lost sheep he'd taken under his wings, were gone too. Henderson was in MIT, working on his PhD. He still sent Eddie a Christmas card every year. Byers, the only one who could rival Eddie as a DM, was in California after Mrs. Byers and Hopper got married and moved the whole clan there, but they were in San Bernardino or somewhere, and Eddie never ran into them in LA. Wheeler had also gone to school there—he was dating Hopper's daughter at the time, if Eddie remembered correctly—and stayed. Sinclair, who had turned out better than Eddie had expected, given his association with the jocks, was working in Indianapolis. They had all done well for themselves.

So perhaps it was a good thing that they weren't here to see their fallen leader.

***

But not everyone left Hawkins. Some stayed. And sometimes, those who stayed were the fucking worst.

It was a usual night at the Hideout, with the regular crowd of five drunks. Nobody paid attention to the band, some lame punk cover act. Eddie wanted to feel bad for the band, remembering that Corroded Coffin had once been in their shoes, but he couldn't muster up the sympathy. Looking at their carefully ripped clothes and perfectly coifed hair, he knew this was just a hobby for them, a pastime to make themselves look cool, and could be easily left behind when they went back to the safety of their parents' houses and their cushy little lives. Then he caught himself and shook his head. Jesus, when did he become so bitter?

A group of men burst through the door, their raucous shouts and laughter putting an end to his dark thoughts. Eddie barely glanced at them. He'd seen enough of those, both in the few weeks he'd been working at the bar and back when he was playing here with Corroded Coffin. Suburban dads, most of them, out on their allotted once-per-week guys' night. Bored with the usual, they decided to check out the Hideout as the most underground place Hawkins had to offer. Ha. They wouldn't know underground even if they woke up buried in a six-foot grave.

Silently, he filled their orders and gave them to Trish, the server. She was one of the new hires—just out of school, barely old enough to be working at a bar—so Eddie made it a point to watch out for her when he could. "You'll be OK with those?" he asked, indicating the men sitting in their booth.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," she replied, though her face was grim.

The group stayed for a long time. As the night went on, they became louder, more obnoxious, and the grim set of Trish's mouth started to waver. She tried to act tough, but she was just a kid, really, and she was no match for those men.

After Trish brought the men their third rounds of tequila shots, Eddie heard a yell coming from the booth. "Get your hand off me!" It was Trish. She was grappling with one of the men, who was holding her by the waist, trying to pull her into the booth with him.

Eddie looked around. The band was gone, having finished their sets more than half an hour ago. Lenny wasn't even in. With a sigh, Eddie left the bar and approached the booth.

"Do we have a problem here?" he said.

"Damn right we do," said the man holding Trish. "You'd better teach your staff to be friendlier to the customers!"

"They are friendly. To those who can keep their hands to themselves," Eddie said, taking Trish's hand and pulling her up. She gave him a grateful look and scurried to the back.

The man got unsteadily to his feet. "Watch your fucking mouth," he snarled, giving Eddie a shove.

Eddie seized the man's wrist. "What did I say about keeping your hands to yourself?"

The man winced, and his friends glanced at each other, worried. "Fuck," the man said. Then he took a closer look at Eddie, and his eyes popped. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "Munson? Eddie 'The Freak' Munson?"

Eddie's stomach dropped, and his grip on the man's wrist loosened. He stared back at the man. Square jaws, a low forehead, and small, arrogant eyes. Loathing stirred his memories. His mind's eye added a letterman jacket and a baseball hat, and the man's features solidified. One of Jason Carver's cronies from the basketball team. What was his name?

The man's mouth lifted in a mocking smile. "Well, well, well. What happened to 'fuck this town', Munson?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Eddie said, ignoring the question.

"What are you going to do, kick me out?"

"Yes."

The others exchanged glances again, and Eddie was aware of how he looked in their eyes—a tall, intimidating guy in a leather jacket. Someone you don't want to mess with. One of them put his hand on the square-jawed man's shoulder. "Come on, Andy." Andy. That was it.

Andy jerked his shoulder away. "Don't let this freak scare you. All bark and no bite, aren't you, Munson?" he said, grinning at Eddie. "Just like in high school."

Eddie tried to swallow the hot gust of anger rising to his throat. "My bark is actually worse," he said evenly. "If you refuse to leave, I'm going to call the police."

Andy's friends had had enough. "Let's go, man. It's getting late anyway."

They filed out of the booth, throwing down money as they went. Andy still stared at Eddie, his already small eyes narrowed into angry slits, while his friends dragged him away.

***

After the bar closed, Eddie made sure that Trish was picked up by her boyfriend. It was four in the morning by the time he finished cleaning up and locking the door. As he walked through the parking lot that was still steeped in darkness, a voice called out, "Munson!"

Eddie turned around. It was Andy, standing by a car. What the hell?

"You really humiliated me tonight, you know that?" Andy said. By the slurring of his voice, his drinking hadn't stopped after he left the Hideout.

"You must have a really fragile ego, if that was enough to humiliate you," Eddie said, continuing to walk.

"Don't act all high and mighty with me, freak," Andy growled. "You were nothing in high school, and you're nothing now."

A haze of red came over Eddie's eyes, but he tried to keep it in check as he turned around.

"Hey man, I don't know what your problem is—" he began, but before he could finish, a fist landed on his cheek. Since said fist belonged to a guy who wasn't even standing straight, it didn't hurt much, but the surprise threw Eddie off his balance. Andy used the momentum to grab Eddie's shoulder and yank him down. Eddie's face collided with the car's side-view mirror.

Dazed, Eddie sat on the ground and touched his cheek. It stung where the mirror cut him, and his fingers came away wet with blood.

The haze of red slammed over his eyes again.

He jumped up and lunged at Andy.

What followed was a blur of punches, some connecting, either with flesh or metal, but most didn't. The more he missed, the angrier Eddie got. As if this bastard hadn't made his life miserable enough back in high school, he had to come to his work and attacked him as well. And for what? For ruining his night out with his buddies? As far as Eddie could see, Andy was doing a pretty good job of that himself.

Finally, Eddie had Andy by his neck against the car.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he roared.

"Fuck you, fucking freak!" Andy spat out.

Suddenly the fight went out of Eddie. What the hell were they doing, two grown men having a pathetic drunken brawl over some imagined animosity nearly twenty years ago? He let go. Andy sank to the ground, and Eddie staggered away.

***

His cheek throbbing, Eddie found his way into the woods surrounding Hawkins. He couldn't let Wayne see him in this state. Better to walk off some steam and come up with some excuse before facing his uncle.

At this hour, the sun was not up yet, but it was no longer pitch dark. The woods lay silent under a cold gray half-light that sapped everything of color and life. The only sound was the squishing of the wet, dead leaves of many winters under his feet, and the only movement, other than his own, was the drip-drip-drip of water, either rain or dew, from the new buds onto his head. Irritated, he reached up to rub the wetness out of his scalp, and winced as he accidentally touched the cut on his face.

He shouldn't have let Andy get to him. The encounter left a sour taste in his mouth and a heavy weight, like a lead ball, in his guts. It wasn't simply anger or shame, or rather, it wasn't his usual shame of being a failure. It was the shame of feeling like he and Andy were similar. He hated the idea that he could have something in common with that jerk, but there it was. It was like they were still teenagers, ready to use their fists at the merest hint of an offense, always trying to prove themselves, trying to be cooler than this or that person. Eddie thought he'd grown out of that high school mentality, but apparently not. It only took coming back to Hawkins, being amongst these people, to bring out that aggressive side of him.

Perhaps coming home was a mistake.

A rustling made him look up. It was light enough now for him to glimpse, through the trees, a figure in a tracksuit, a jogger, a woman, blond hair bobbing along with her steps, running toward him. Shit. He didn't want to run into anyone, especially not right now, skulking through the woods with dry blood down his face and caked on his knuckles. They'd think he was a serial killer or something.

Eddie whirled around, trying to blend into the trees before he and the jogger crossed paths. A branch smacked him in the face, blinding him, making him lose his footing. He took a stumbling step back. The embankment he was standing on, already weak from the endless rain of the past week, gave way, and before he knew it, Eddie was plummeting down a slope, dead branches and rocks scratching at his face and arms as he went.

For a moment, he lay sprawled at the bottom of the slope, blinking up at the green dome above him, too stunned to move.

Then a face appeared in his view. A woman's face, full of concern.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Then the concern on her face slowly dissipated, replaced by surprise and recognition.

"Eddie Munson, as I live and breathe," she said. "I almost didn't recognize you with that beard." When Eddie didn't answer, she gave him a teasing smile. "Don't you remember me?" She extended a hand to help him up.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could sink into the earth and disappear right there and then. But when the trees remained above him, and the musty earth remained underneath him, he had no choice but to accept the helping hand and get to his feet.

"Hi, Chrissy," he said.

***

Chrissy Cunningham. The last person he'd want to run into, especially in his current state.

Though her hair was shorter and held back with a headband instead of pulled into a ponytail, she still looked exactly as he remembered, as she had in high school, those wide blue eyes, that bright smile showing a hint of her crooked front teeth. Next to her, Eddie felt like a tramp. Probably looked like a tramp too.

"You OK?" she asked, taking in his bedraggled and bloodied appearance.

"Uh, yeah."

"That's a nasty cut right there," she said, pointing to his elbow. It was only then that Eddie felt the searing pain. He must've snatched it on a rock or a broken branch. "You should get that cleaned up, or it'll get infected." Without waiting for an answer, she took his other elbow and guided him up the other side of the slope. "Let me go grab a first-aid kit from school, and I can take care of that for you."

"What school?"

Chrissy stared at him. "Hawkins High, of course."

"Are we that close?"

"Don't you recognize this part of the woods?"

They were up on the opposite side of the slope now, and Eddie saw an old picnic table and bench set, all rusty and weather-beaten, by a tree stump that stood like a sentinel over the place. He immediately recognized it. He must've been too pissed off about his encounter with Andy to realize where he was walking.

"Wait here," Chrissy said. "I'll be back in a minute."

As she jogged off, Eddie thought about running away himself. But that would be ridiculous. She'd already seen him. How embarrassing would it be if she came back and found out he'd ran away like some coward? Besides, the fall had left him too sore to move. He gingerly sat down on one of the benches, afraid it would collapse from his weight, and cast a look around. Back in his schooldays, this had been the hangout for the stoners and the burnouts, and there had always been some empty beer cans and cigarette stubs scattered about. Now add to that some old needles, and he could've sworn he saw a used condom too. Jesus. Even this place had gone to the dogs.

What twist of fate had sent him here, and into the path of Chrissy Cunningham, of all people?

Of all the drug spots in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...

Before he could contemplate that, Chrissy was back, bringing with her a first-aid kit. "So when did you get back?" she asked, lifting Eddie's elbow and cleaning the wound with practiced hands.

"A few weeks ago," Eddie replied, trying not to hiss at the sting of the rubbing alcohol.

"Are you just visiting? You're some big rock star out on the West Coast now, aren't you?"

Eddie was glad that her face was bent over his elbow, so she couldn't see the half-downcast, half-furtive look on his face. But his honesty won out. "Hardly," he mumbled. "Our albums sold like twenty copies each, and I think Jeff's mom—you know Jeff, right?—I think his mom bought most of them." He chuckled to show that he was joking, and Chrissy smiled back.

"I'd love to have a listen," she said. He knew she was just saying that to be polite, but it didn't stop butterflies from fluttering in his stomach. "I know it's not the same as seeing you guys live..." She lifted her eyes briefly to his face, before looking down again. "I always regret not making it to one of your shows at the Hideout, you know."

Eddie stared at her bent head, not knowing what to say. Being here with her and talking about Corroded Coffin and the Hideout brought back memories of another day in March, sixteen years ago. Back then, he'd felt, if not on top of the world, then at least pretty near it.

And that night... if he hadn't felt on top of the world that afternoon when he made Chrissy Cunningham laugh, then he'd certainly felt it that night.

It felt just like yesterday, the two of them driving back to his trailer after the successful conclusion of his Cult of Vecna campaign, trying the Special K, and then just staying up and talking. He couldn't remember what they'd talked about. All he remembered was a sense of... not happiness, exactly, but contentment, and it wasn't because of the Special K. No, it was because Chrissy had been there and she'd felt safe with him, and he with her.

He had never asked why she'd wanted to try the Special K. Later, as he drove her home, she'd asked him to drop her off a little further away so she could walk to her front door, and he'd guessed the reason, but hadn't pressed her about it.

"Sure, no problem," he'd only said, watching the way she twisted her fingers in her lap and fighting the urge to reach out, to put his hand over hers, and tell her everything would be alright. "I'll stay here and keep watch until you're inside."

She'd said thank and leaned over, perhaps to plant a kiss on his cheek, but at the same time, he'd turned his head to tell her "You're welcome", and the kiss had landed on his mouth instead. They'd both jolted back, embarrassed, only to be drawn back toward each other, inexorably, irresistibly, until her lips had found his again, deliberately this time. He still remembered the softness of her mouth, the taste of her lip gloss, the way she'd melted into his arms as he pulled her close...

He should've known it was too good to be true.

Queens of Hawkins High don't go around kissing freaks.

Chrissy had pulled away from him abruptly, ran out of his van, and disappeared into the night. When they got back to school after spring break, she'd actively avoided him.

Looking back, he realized that had been the first in the long string of disappointments that was to be his life for the following sixteen years.

And now here she was, talking as if nothing had happened.

It still stung, but he tried not to let it show.

"I didn't know you were in town," he said, changing the subject.

"Oh, I moved back a couple of years ago."

That surprised him. After leaving Hawkins, he'd tried hard not to think about Chrissy, but when he did, usually after some heavy drinking or after a late gig, when he felt particularly lonely, he'd imagined that she was leading a perfect life somewhere. Moving back to this shithole didn't seem that perfect.

And if she was here and Jason wasn't, that meant...

Eddie found himself glancing at her hand. No ring.

"My dad's passed, and my mom's had a stroke, so I moved back to help out," she explained. Eddie could feel all the years apart stretching out between them like a gulf. Their lives were so separate, so different.

"Shit. That's rough. I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "Moving back was a relief. I wasn't doing great in Chicago anyway. Divorced, working a dead-end job..."

"Oh. Sorry." Then, because he couldn't help himself: "Jason?"

She actually laughed, but there was no bitterness in it. "No. We broke up right after graduation. Just a few days after you left, in fact. He's married with a couple of kids now, living in Bloomington, I think."

She remembered when he left? Nah, don't be stupid. She only remembered 'cause that was when she broke up with that prick...

"What about you?" Chrissy asked.

"Me?"

"You married?" Was it his imagination, or did her nonchalance seem a little forced?

Eddie smiled ruefully. "Almost did, once."

"What happened?"

"She wised up." After that, it was just a string of fleeting relationships and meaningless hook-ups. More disappointments.

They talked about their classmates for a while—Nancy, Wheeler's sister, Miss Valedictorian, now a journalist in New York, Robin Buckley and Vickie Ryan, who shocked Hawkins when they started dating after graduation and then moved away together, and Billy Hargrove, the bad boy of their class, who was killed in a car accident in '92.

"Shit. Sounds like everybody left Hawkins," he said.

"Some stay. Some even came back," she said, gesturing to him and herself.

"That's only because they have no choice."

"No, I think it's nice to come back to a familiar place. You always know where you are. And if the place's changed... well, you've changed too, so that's even."

He hadn't thought of it like that. Suddenly the whole moving back home thing didn't seem so bad after all.

"You should be a motivational speaker, Cunningham," he said, trying to sound dry. "Have you considered that as a career?"

"I already kind of am, with the cheer squad."

"You're still cheering?"

"No, coaching." She perked up. "Didn't I tell you? I'm the cheer coach at Hawkins High now. Hard to believe, right?"

"No, not at all. You were always good at that." He remembered Chrissy in middle school, how young they'd been, how enthusiastic—how long ago was that, over twenty years? Jesus. No wonder he felt old.

"The only thing I'm good at, you mean."

"No, no," Eddie quickly said. "Well, you're good at this too," he added lamely, indicating the first-aid kit.

"I did study to be an RN." She finished bandaging up the large wound on his elbow and moved on to his other cuts and scrapes.

"So why—"

"Dropped out my third year." There was an awkward silence, but Chrissy didn't seem embarrassed. "I just couldn't cope with the stress, and there was no one to sell me half an ounce of weed at a discount," she said, twinkling at him, and he couldn't help smiling back at her.

That smile disappeared when Chrissy asked, "So, any exciting new project with Corroded Coffin coming soon?" Seeing Eddie's face fall, she sobered up. "I'm sorry, was that—"

"No, it's OK."

Eddie felt like opening up to her. Perhaps they weren't so different after all. Perhaps she'd understand.

"Well"—here Eddie took a deep breath, and the truth he'd been hiding came out in a rush—"there won't be any new stuff. Not for a while anyway. We got dropped by the label. The last album didn't sell that well, so they dropped us."

And there it was. The reason why he had to come home, the reason he felt like a failure. It had taken them years to get signed, and when it was only to an indie label, he and the guys had told themselves it was for the best, it would give them more independence. As it turned out, an indie label was less likely to interfere with their creative process, it was true, but it didn't interfere much with anything else either. They were left floundering, having to do almost everything themselves. Ten years of that would put a strain on anyone.

Without Gareth, they went through a string of replacement drummers, none lasting more than a few years, since they had never been part of Hellfire and didn't share their camaraderie. Then, when the label dropped them, it had been the last straw. They had held on for as long as they could, but eventually, when Grant and Jeff quit, Eddie had no choice but to quit as well. Grant had gone back to Hawkins for a while, then left again, having found a job in Detroit. Jeff, the rock of their group, was the only one who stayed in LA, working as a session musician. He had tried to convince Eddie to stay as well, but Eddie couldn't stand watching some other bands hit it big while he was forced to play someone else's music. To him, it would be a special form of Hell. So he'd gone home, feeling like he'd failed his bandmates, his uncle, and himself.

Chrissy listened to all that in sympathetic silence. No judging, no mocking, no clichéd advice or words of encouragement, just a softening of her eyes and a gentle squeeze of her hand on his arms as she placed Band-Aids on his cuts.

"Do you ever feel like you're a failure?" he asked, by way of a conclusion.

She peered at him for a moment before answering. "Oh just... you know, on a daily basis."

Those words rang a bell in Eddie's mind. He looked up to see Chrissy grinning crookedly at him, but there was some self-deprecation in that grin that made him realize how tactless his question had been.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean—"

"No, it's OK." Her smile got a little brighter. "I don't mind being a failure. Takes a lot of pressure off." When he raised a questioning eyebrow at that, she continued, "When you're already a failure, people don't expect much from you. You're free to live your life how you want, no need to live up to anyone's bullshit standard."

Eddie tilted his head to look at Chrissy more closely and realized his first impression of her had been wrong. She had changed. He could hardly recognize her from the nervous girl who jumped at the mere cracking of a branch when they met at this very bench sixteen years ago. She seemed... not exactly more confident, but rather, she no longer cared what others thought of her. Still, even back then, there had been a wild streak in her, a devil-may-care attitude that had driven her to buy drugs from him and agreed to come back to his trailer with him. Time and experiences had mellowed it, but it was still there. The same wild streak that had drawn him to her in the first place.

Chrissy finished with his arms and stood up so she could clean the cuts on his face.

"Do you remember that night before spring break, back in '86?" she said.

Their eyes met, and he held his breath. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I ran off like that. I'm sorry I ignored you in school afterward. It was—stupid of me. I cared too much about what other people thought."

So she remembered. And understood.

Eddie let out a breath, not just the one he'd been holding, but also the one that had his chest in a tight grip ever since he moved back home. With that breath, he also let go of all the heartache, guilt, and shame of the past. None of it mattered anymore. If he kept clinging to them, he would be no better than Andy.

He reached for Chrissy's hand, which was resting on his cheek. "You're not the only one," he said.

As she looked into his eyes, he would've given anything to be able to stay like that forever, with Chrissy standing over him, her face bent toward his, their hands intertwined, and the sun shining softly through the trees behind her, turning her gold hair into a perfect halo.

A branch snapped somewhere in the woods, breaking the spell.

Eddie cursed under his breath. His only consolation was that Chrissy was looking slightly flustered and disappointed, while she packed up the first-aid kit.

As she turned to leave, Chrissy blurted out, "Why don't you come to the game this Friday night? It'll be a walk down memory lane—oh, sorry." She winced. "I forgot that you don't care about—what did you call it? A game where you—"

"—where you toss balls into laundry baskets," Eddie said with a rueful smile. "I did say a lot of stupid shit back then. No, you don't have to apologize. It's just that—I have to work Friday night."

"Oh."

"But you're welcome at the Hideout anytime," he said, emboldened by her crestfallen look. "Drinks are on me."

Her face brightened. "I'll hold you to that."

"So... guess I'll see you around then?" he asked.

"Looks like it." She flashed him another crooked smile and walked off, while Eddie remained at the bench, feeling like he was fourteen again.

***

Wayne came out of the bedroom to find his nephew sitting on the fold-out bed. When Eddie first came home, Wayne had tried to give the bedroom back, saying the fold-out had served him well for ten years and would serve him well again, but Eddie had vehemently refused. His reason was that he was the one working nights now, and he didn't want to wake Wayne up when he came home early in the morning. In the end, Wayne had relented. He knew Eddie's guilt about having to move back in with him; no need to make the boy feel worse than he already did.

Eddie's face was bruised and bandaged, but he was looking more content than Wayne had ever seen him since he came home. And he had taken his guitar out of its case and was strumming a soft melody, occasionally stopping to jot something down in a battered old notebook in front of him. Wayne took that as a good sign.

"Mornin'," he said, shuffling toward the kitchen, making no comment on Eddie's late return or injuries. "You want some breakfast?"

"Hmm," Eddie replied distractedly, his attention still on the notebook.

It was his first attempt at writing a song in about eight months. He was a little rusty, but it felt good to pick up the guitar.

They say you can never go home again. But what if you can make the place feel like home? By peopling it with those that you know and love, and those that know you and, perhaps, if not love, then at least like you back?

She'd asked him to a game.

She'd said she'd see him around.

Maybe he could get someone to cover his shift...

"Hey Wayne," Eddie said, looking up from his guitar. "You ever watch a basketball game at Hawkins High?"

Wayne turned away from the pan of sizzling bacon to eye Eddie suspiciously. "Since when did you become interested in high school basketball?"

"Since today."

"Why?"

"No reason." Eddie shrugged, then he grinned, that familiar ear-to-ear grin that Wayne hadn't seen in a long, long time. "Just wondering if I could suffer through it this Friday night."

A/N: OK, I meant for this to be a one-shot, but my brain kept screaming at me to add more, so maybe I will expand on it later… not as a full multi-chaptered fic, but as a series of interconnected one-shots. We'll see.