#because that just gives you again another perspective of how young some of these kids really were

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

So You Wanna 'Revive' Your Show

Hi Tim. This took me like ten minutes because I actually have two brain cells to rub together. <3

Give the 911 call center more to do. Linda and Sue especially in my opinion.

Go back to what made the show great in the first place which was the core characters becoming/being a family.

Mix up the dynamics. Remember Chim and Bobby's friendship in season one? Hen and Athena's bestieism? Bring that back along with some lesser seen dynamics. I want more of Chim and Karen's friendship. Have Maddie and Bobby work together on something. Pair Athena and Eddie together and have Athena realize just how like her husband Eddie is (and maybe in doing so they help each other get perspective on other things).

Give Bobby a promotion and have him deal with that (although so soon after he quit being an advisor and was clearly enjoying being captain might not work but something to consider).

Have Athena retire and become a private investigator.

More fun filler episodes. A bottle episode where they have a boring day at the station. An episode made up entirely of B shift or the non-firefam members of A shift like SG-1's The Other Guys. An episode entirely from Jee-Yun's point of view showing a young child's perspective of crazy silly adult drama. Boys Night Out/Girls Night Out a la Leverage. "Alternate universe" episodes like Bones' season four finale and Castle's Blue Butterfly episode.

Keep Buck single for a while and give him a safe haven baby. Another way to bond with Hen and Karen over adoption, another way to bond with his sister, and another way to bond with Bobby by making him a grandfather. And oh, hey, Eddie, you want to help me coparent?

Maybe stop having all of Eddie's important shit happen offscreen, I don't know if there's BTS beef or what but grow the fuck up and keep it out of the script. Professionalism, heard of it?

Make Buddie canon. Yes my bias is showing but it's what a large percentage of your audience and media reporters have been clambering after for years. Put guns to heads if you must. Jesus. You want to revitalize the show that's literally the number one way to do it. You dumbasses.

Okay I always said I didn't want it and I still don't but fine. fine! do a musical episode! if that's the price of Bobby's life I'll fucking pay it!!!

Maybe relearn the concept of arcs that last an entire season and not just two-three episodes.

Michael and David have a destination wedding and every single firefam member encounters some kind of emergency, either life-threatening or comedy-of-errors, that means they all show up looking like they got run over by trucks.

RASHOMON EPISODE. For either dramatic or comedic effect. Or both.

Everyone loved the heist episodes like The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1 and Ocean's 9-1-1. Like come on you fuckwit let the show be fun again.

Actually commit to giving any of the main characters a pet. I know everyone wants Buck but it could be Athena and Bobby, Hen and Karen, Maddie and Chim... personally I would love to see Eddie get hit by the Cat Distribution System.

Firefighters do charity drives all the time, go to schools to do talks about fire safety - show the team interacting with the local community more. Show the parents interacting with their kids' schools or the parents of their friends' kids a bit more. I want to see Eddie and Karen fight the PTA.

It's not hard. That's what gets me. You don't actually worry about the show becoming stagnant. You just wanted to do a really big shocking holy shit episode that everyone would be talking about, forgetting that truly good shows earn those. Shit shows that pull that kind of nonsense lose their audience and get cancelled. You did it because you're a mediocre, boring, never-quite-popular-enough egotist with an inferiority complex who was luckily born with a dick so you fell upward your entire career, and you orgasm to other people's pain.

And for once in my life? I hope cast/crew do know my tumblr. I hope they are on here. I hope they fucking read this, and I hope they print it out and tape it to your office door and every other door on set they can manage like Martin fucking Luther. I want you to go to bed at night knowing you are despised and that a starving barely-breaking-even idiot who wrote a stripper!Buck fanfic knows more about television writing and comes up with better ideas than you do.

To quote David Lynch, fix your heart or die.

[bats-and-the-birds]

I like to think about young Dick Grayson a lot, and right now I'm specifically thinking about him from the Justice League's perspective.

Like, imagine you're in the Justice League, maybe you've been there for a few months, maybe for a few years, but either way, you know how it works. Superman's terrifyingly powerful, but you get over the fear factor as soon as you see him cry over a sad cat video, and Wonder Woman's still a bit intimidating, but as long as you're good and truthful, you can trust that she won't crush your head like a grape.

And Batman... well, you've made your peace with the fact that you'll never figure him out. You know literally nothing about him, other than the fact that he claims to be fully human, but you're not even really sure about that, because you're pretty sure he just materializes in the shadows sometimes. The only things that you're 100% sure of is that you're terrified of him, and you're so glad that he's not on someone else's side.

And then, suddenly, he has acquired a child. Just like everything else, you don't find out immediately, because god forbid that man tell his team anything. But you start to hear vague reports of another shadow trailing behind Batman in the night. Superman asks him about it one day, but of course, he doesn't respond, and they all wonder, but it never gets brought up again.

But one day, unexpectedly, that shadow is at a league meeting, and he's not as shadowy as you would have thought. In fact, he's wearing the most vibrant costume you've seen, and you spend all of your time with other heroes in spandex. He's also young. Terrifyingly young. It's his twelfth birthday, actually, he explains to the league, and he pestered 'B' until he agreed to take him to a meeting. You all agree later that he looks younger than twelve. And you worry about him, because why is this child in Batman's care? Can he really be trusted to look after someone so small, so young, so seemingly fragile?

Besides, Robin (Robin, his name is Robin, he's a songbird for christ's sake), is everything that you'd think Batman would hate. He talks everyone's ear off with a giant grin stretched across his entire face. He begs Superman to fly him around and cackles and claps as Wonder Woman demonstrates basic sword maneuvers for him. Before long, the whole team is in a better mood. Meanwhile, Batman stands in the shadows, his face impassive, with no explanation about the little masked boy that walked into the room hiding under his cape.

He leaves just as he came, disappearing under Batman's cape as the two exit the watchtower together, and the whole league is left to wonder how the fuck that child ended up in Batman's care, and whether or not they should intervene, because spending prolonged time in Batman's company cannot be healthy for a child.

But then he starts showing up more and more, popping up in some places that you know from Batman's glare he's not supposed to be. He's teamed up with that speedster boy and the two of them cause havoc, but Robin takes the lecture he gets with a grin and gives a half hearted promise to behave.

You steadily start to realize that he might not be as out of place in Batman's company as you originally thought. You realize that the boy is a performer through and through, and that extends to that grin of his that dazzled the team when they first met him. You get the impression that sometimes its genuine, yes, but you'd never know if it wasn't. His exuberance is a persona held in place as meticulously as Batman's grim seriousness.

And though you'd assumed that Batman's sidekick (partner, the boy insisted, rather intensely, though his smile never faltered) would be well trained, this kid could take down league members, you're sure. You quickly realize that he enjoys fighting, and he fights viciously, giggling and putting on a show, but leaving broken bones in his wake. Your first impression is that Robin was more human than the demon they called the Batman, but you quickly start to question that too. If Batman can materialize in shadows, then Robin can fly. He twists through the air like gravity doesn't affect him and lands with so much grace that you'd think he had hollow bones like his namesake. You're not fully convinced he doesn't, considering he climbs up the bat with no warning, clinging onto his back like he belongs there (you quickly start to think he does), or he'll throw himself through the air with no more warning than a quick 'catch' yelled to his partner. And Batman catches him. Batman always catches him. Everyone keeps an eye on him when he's up high, but there's a part of you that feels like it's impossible that he'd ever fall. Or at least, impossible that Batman would ever let him hit the ground.

And you start to think that Robin's exactly where he's supposed to be; perched on Batman's shoulder, hiding in his cape, or fighting by his side. You still hope there's a normal boy behind the mask, going to school and making friends with someone to tuck him in at night, but you also can't imagine anything normal about Robin, and maybe that's why he needs to be by Batman's side, and maybe that's why Batman needs him too.

[steddieas-shegoes]

you and all of your new perspective

for @steddiesongfics using 'new perspective' by noah kahan

also on ao3

rated m | 3,513 words | no cw | tags: rock star eddie munson, good uncle wayne munson, mutual pining, yearning, post-vecna, love confessions, idiots in love, first kiss, implied sexual content, getting together

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

He’s looking down at the letter and wondering how the hell he’s supposed to be normal about Eddie visiting him.

In Hawkins.

Where Eddie swore he’d never come back to the moment he got his ticket out of here.

“Starin’ at it ain’t gonna make him not come,” Wayne says from across the counter. “Surprised he didn’t call ya to tell ya.”

“He…he left a few messages,” Steve explains, setting the letter down and resting his face in his hands. “I just figured he wouldn’t come if I didn’t call him back.”

Wayne raises a brow, gives him a look that Steve’s perfectly familiar with by now. Four years of weekly dinners with a man that’s well aware of your feelings for his nephew leads to some knowing looks and light teasing.

“Only reason he’d ever step foot in this town again is for you and you know that,” Wayne says as he opens another beer. He has three every Friday night, but no longer indulges during the week. Ain’t so young anymore, son, and I gotta stay active to keep up with all your chores, he’d told Steve when he asked. Steve thinks the doctor told him to take it easier. “I don’t think he even told the kids.”

“Don’t see why he would. They’re all over. He’s probably seen them on tour.”

Steve tries not to sound bitter. He woke up in his own bed or whatever the saying is. He can’t blame Eddie for doing exactly what he said he would, following his dreams, getting the hell out of Hawkins the moment he could. The kids did the same, but at least they visited.

“Well, they’ve been houndin’ him to come visit you.”

Steve lifts his head. “They what?”

“They just worry ‘bout ya,” Wayne shrugs. “So do I.”

“I went on a date last week! Robin visited two months ago! I see you every Friday!” Steve stands and starts pacing. “I’m gonna go visit Dustin at school in a month. And Will has his freshman exhibition that we’re all trying to meet up at. It’s not like I’m lonely.”

“Son, I think the only person lonelier than you is Eddie,” Wayne gives him that sad smile he gives whenever they talk about Steve’s social life. It’s like he knows it’s pitiful, and he knows Steve knows it’s pitiful, and he’s making sure Steve knows that he knows. “And he’s stubborn as a mule, but he cares too much about ya to let you suffer.”

“Who said anything about suffering?”

“It’s implied by the way the kids talk about you.”

“How’s that?”

“The word hermit has been used a bunch,” Wayne explains. “Now, I’m gonna finish this beer and you’re gonna stop workin’ yourself up over something that’s still days away.”

Steve rushes over to his calendar, holding up the letter, then checking the calendar.

“He’s gonna be here in three days!” Steve yells. “I can’t be ready by then!”

“What the hell do you need to be ready for? It’s just Eddie,” Wayne is smirking again and Steve’s tired of his teasing, but he’s not gonna say anything because it doesn’t do any good to draw more attention to it. “He ain’t expecting a welcome committee. Maybe a balloon or somethin’; You know he likes the show of it all.”

Steve groans.

He does know. Eddie loves dramatics, that’s what makes him such a good performer on stage. That’s what makes him a great DM.

That’s what made Steve fall in love with him.

“I don’t even know where to get balloons,” Steve says, resting his forehead against the wall.

“The new Wal-Mart should have some,” Wayne pats his shoulder. “We watchin’ the game or standing around havin’ a crisis in your kitchen?”

Steve breathes in. He breathes out.

“I’ll have a crisis tomorrow, I guess.”

“That’s my boy!”

++++

The crisis does come the next day, but this time Wayne isn’t there to make it worse or better. He considers calling Robin, but he knows she’ll just tell him to use his good cologne and try not to be weird. He even thinks about calling Dustin, but immediately shuts that down when he remembers that Dustin is the one who called him a hermit to Eddie’s face.

He finds balloons at the store, and adds streamers to the cart on a whim. He’s sure Eddie will love it. Eddie loves that kind of shit.

He also grabs a pie crust and apples because he remembers Eddie saying how much he loves apple pie with vanilla ice cream one time nearly five years ago.

Okay, maybe it’ll be weird that he remembered that.

He goes to put the apples back when Joyce bumps into him as she’s reaching for a bunch of bananas.

“Sorry honey!” She throws her hands out to catch him, even though she’s the one who almost falls. “I wasn’t paying attention. You doing okay?”

“Yeah, how’re you?” Steve gives her a small smile, trying not to show how panicked he is.

“Sweetie, you look stressed. Is something wrong?”

“No! No, just preparing for a guest,” Steve says, unsure if Eddie’s told anyone else in Hawkins he would be visiting and not wanting to ruin any surprises if he intended on doing that.

He doesn’t even know how long Eddie’s staying; He didn’t say in his letter or voicemails. Wayne hasn’t mentioned it either, which means he probably knows exactly how long he’s staying.

“Oh, is Eddie staying with you?” She asks, brows furrowing. “I assumed he was staying with Wayne. I helped him find an apple pie recipe for his visit.”

Steve looks down at the ingredients in the cart, the evidence of what he’s going to make even more obvious now. Joyce’s gaze follows his and she bites back a knowing smile.

“Ah.”

“Ah?” He asks.

“Uh huh,” she says, nodding. “I would make sure to get the green apples. He likes sour more than sweet when there’s ice cream.”

Steve looks over at the green apples and back at the red apples he was planning on buying. Joyce winks at him before she grabs the bananas and starts to walk away.

“Enjoy the visit!”

Steve doesn’t respond.

He grabs six green apples and shoves them in a plastic produce bag.

He’ll make the damn apple pie and Eddie will love it. Steve will pretend the apple pie isn’t filled with the love he can barely contain for the man, and maybe Eddie will enjoy it and leave as if he never came.

Maybe Steve can make it through this visit with dignity.

****

Eddie shows up at three in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Technically, it’s 3:03, but Steve wasn’t watching the clock or anything. That would be ridiculous.

He looks just like he always did, just like Steve expected. He’s smiling, and playing with the ends of his curls. Steve is never gonna make it through this visit with dignity.

“Stevie!” Eddie rushes in for a hug, and it should be more awkward than it is. Eddie didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms with Steve. They really only spoke a handful of times over the last few years, and most of those were forced by Wayne or Dustin. But it’s like he never left, like he’s been hugging Steve every day for years.

Steve soaks it up, falls into it and doesn’t care how it looks. If Eddie has a problem with it, he doesn’t say so. He holds Steve tighter, his breath warm against his neck.

Eventually, Steve invites him inside and it does start to feel awkward.

Eddie’s a rock star now, and despite how normal he looks, he’s different. He’s here to see Steve, but is he here out of guilt that it took him this long to visit or because he actually wants to?

Steve talks about work, and his dinners with Wayne, and spends more time than he should explaining Robin’s degree program even though he knows Robin already talked to Eddie when she got accepted. He goes on and on about what everyone else is up to because his life is pretty boring in comparison and he doesn’t want to bore Eddie away.

“Sounds like everyone’s doing good, but I already knew that,” Eddie eventually says when Steve’s rambled for much longer than he planned. “How are you?”

“I told you, I’m fine,” Steve says. “Kinda boring around here, honestly. How’s the tour been?”

Eddie laughs and Steve tries not to let it hurt. He doesn’t think he means it in the way Steve’s taking it and that’s a Steve problem, not an Eddie problem.

“I called you 37 times,” Eddie says instead of answering him. “Every city we had a show. The first few I figured you were just busy or asleep. I didn’t think about time zones. But then I started to realize you were avoiding me.”

He isn’t mad, or at least he doesn’t look mad, but Steve feels like he needs to apologize anyway.

“Yeah, sorry. After a while, it kinda…”

“Seemed worse to call since it was so long?” Eddie asks, small smile falling from his face when Steve nods. “It’s never a bad thing to hear from friends, though. You could’ve called the bus phone anytime. Left a message. We got an answering machine because Gareth’s mom always calls when we’re on stage.”

“Right. Good to know,” Steve says. Which, it is good to know, but he doesn’t plan on calling unless there’s an emergency. He can’t look as desperate as he feels and if he calls once, he’ll call twice, and then a hundred times. “What city was your favorite so far?”

Eddie tilts his head, looks him over for a moment before responding. “I liked Boston. All the kids were front row. Except El, she somehow got backstage. Still not sure how. Missed you, though.”

Steve feels his face heat up at the words. Eddie always said things in a flirty way, even though he doesn’t really mean it that way. Steve can’t let himself think that he means it that way.

“It’s a pretty big trip, so. I couldn’t miss work.”

It’s a shit excuse because he absolutely could miss work. It’s a grocery store in a small town, and he doesn’t care that much about it.

“They couldn’t find someone to cover a couple days for you?” Eddie sounds hurt now, and Steve can’t let him think that he’s the problem.

“I didn’t ask. I-” Steve has to be brave now. Wayne’s voice is in his head telling him to just tell Eddie why he’s been so distant, why he hasn’t been the one to reach out. “I was scared to go.”

This seems to throw Eddie off balance. His eyes squint and forehead wrinkles adorably as he tries to do mental gymnastics to find out why Steve of all people would be scared to visit him. Steve is known for throwing himself in the line of fire, being the first one to step in when everyone else is scared. Too bad this type of courage is different.

“Are you scared of flying? I didn’t know, maybe we could have figured out a hired car.”

“No, I don’t mind flying,” Steve admits.

“Then…why were you scared?”

“Because if I let you in, you’ll see how much I miss you and if you see how much I miss you, you’ll see how much I love you. And then you’d never wanna have me around and it would be just like everyone else I love who leaves because I’m not enough to keep them around,” Steve lays his head back against the couch. The Wayne voice in his head is suspiciously quiet.

So is Eddie.

Steve isn’t going to talk anymore; He’s said enough.

Eddie’s hand covers Steve’s. It’s warm and surprisingly soft, and bigger than Steve’s. He never realized that before, not even when he held his hand while he was in the hospital after Vecna or when he watched him play guitar for hours while he was trying to gain his confidence back.

“People don’t leave because you aren’t enough, Steve. They leave because the world is big and they want to be a part of it. Everyone wants you to do that, too,” Eddie says softly, carefully. “I think most of the kids hoped you’d leave Hawkins once they did. Dustin thought you’d come on tour with me.”

“Why would he think that?” Steve doesn’t remember ever having a conversation with Dustin that would make him think that, but his memory isn’t the best.

Eddie’s lips curl up into a smile and he leans forward.

“You know you’re incredibly obvious, right?” Eddie whispers even though they’re alone and there’s no need to be quiet. “You’ve always been easy to read.”

“What does that mean? Read what?”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve and it’s been right there with Eddie written across it since I was in the hospital, sweetheart.” Eddie points to Steve’s arm. He looks down as if he would be able to see the heart Eddie’s talking about. “You’re an open book.”

The timer in the kitchen goes off and Steve jumps up. He rushes to the oven, grateful for the distraction.

“Is that apple pie?” Eddie asks from a few feet away. Steve really should’ve known he would follow him.

“Yes, it’s gotta be perfect.”

“You made apple pie for me?”

Eddie’s right behind him now, and when he turns, there’s no space between them at all. Steve smells the airport on him, the rental car, the cologne he’s worn since Steve bought it for him before he left Hawkins.

He looks up and sees the years that have passed in smile lines on Eddie’s face, in a single gray hair that Eddie’s probably keeping because it makes him look cool. Steve hasn’t found any gray hairs yet, but he’s only 25. Eddie always said Wayne went completely gray by 30, so his genetics wouldn’t be as kind to him. Steve kinda hopes he’s right. Eddie would be beautiful with gray curls.

“Just like I said: heart on your sleeve,” Eddie whispers, leaning in until his lips are just barely brushing against Steve’s.

He’s waiting for Steve, to see if he’ll finally give in after years of near-silence, after whatever flirty and semi-codependent friendship they had before Eddie left to be a rock star.

Steve’s spent enough time waiting, and he thinks Eddie probably has, too.

His lips press against Eddie’s, sure of their movements despite the anxiety crawling through his chest and the unfamiliar taste of him on his tongue.

It’s full of hunger even though it only lasts a few seconds. Steve’s wanted this, wanted him, for so long, he puts everything he has into this moment. If it’s all he gets, he wants it to be perfect.

“You’re kissing me like you’re sending me off to war,” Eddie says when they’ve caught their breath.

“Feels like I am,” Steve admits, corner of his mouth turning up in a sad smile. “At least a little.”

“I think the odds of me dying on stage are probably extremely slim,” Eddie laughs. Steve doesn’t laugh with him. “Steve? What’s wrong?”

Steve pulls himself away, ignoring the way his chest aches at the separation. He’ll have to get used to that when Eddie leaves.

“You have a whole new life. You’re a rock star, Ed. I can’t force my feelings on you now.”

“Who said you forced anything on me?”

“I made you apple pie!” Steve exclaims, pulling away so he can breathe again. Having Eddie in his space alters his brain chemistry, maybe his DNA. “I bought all your favorite things so I could try to convince you I’m worth staying for, even though I can’t compare to going on a world tour with your band. I cleaned out the guest room and made sure I put your favorite shampoo in the shower as if you would even notice that. As if it would be enough to keep you around.”

Eddie steps closer, but Steve steps back.

“Your life is different now. It’s good. I wouldn’t add anything to it, and I don’t know why I even tried to make it seem like I would.”

Eddie steps closer, and there’s nowhere for Steve to go. He’s boxed in against the counter, and Eddie’s face is red with anger. He’s not scared– he could never be scared of Eddie– but he does swallow around a lump in his throat and try to take a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

“My life is different now, you’re right about that. My life doesn’t even feel like mine most days. I belong to fans, and the guys, and the record label. But you know what does feel like mine?” Eddie leans in close enough that his breath is hot against Steve’s face. “How much I love you. How much I have always loved you. You’ve always felt like mine, Steve.”

It’s a hell of a confession, and definitely not what Steve expected from this visit.

The Wayne voice in his head decides to speak again. Except this time, it’s something he’s said to Steve in person before.

He’s surrounded by people, but he seems pretty lonely. Kinda like he still needs a certain someone.

Steve’s brows crinkle as he thinks about the words Wayne said after a phone call with Eddie during the first part of his first tour nearly two years ago. The words were accompanied by a look that Steve has since come to recognize as his sad puppy look.

The same one Eddie’s giving him now.

Steve can’t help it; He laughs.

“You and Wayne could bottle that look and sell it to people who need someone to feel bad for ‘em,” Steve says. He cups Eddie’s cheek in his palm, rubs his thumb against the angry red that turns into a flushed pink. “I don’t know how you could love me-”

“Steve-”

“But!” Steve interrupts. “I know you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it. And you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have taken the time to come back here at all, let alone stay with me. I won’t understand it, but I’ll believe it.”

“That was easier than Wayne said it would be,” Eddie’s smile grows slowly, lighting up his face and the room.

“He’s been buttering me up for years,” Steve shrugs.

“Doing all the hard work, more like,” Eddie leans forward, rests his forehead against Steve’s. “He must’ve been sick of hearing me yearn for your love.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “You know, you could have come back sooner. You didn’t have to wait until I was convinced I’d be alone forever.”

“And you could have called me to let me know I could visit sooner.” Eddie pokes the tip of his nose with his finger, smirking as he leans away to look back at the apple pie on the oven. “Especially if I could’ve been having apple pie on every break.”

“It might not even be good,” Steve says as he wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist.

“Is there vanilla ice cream?” Eddie pecks his lips.

“Mhm,” Steve kisses his cheek. “And you can have some if you promise to sit down and tell me everything about the band.”

“You wanna waste time hearing about Gareth drooling over every woman who looks his way? We could be making love on the couch.”

Steve raises a brow. “We won’t be making love anywhere but my bed. And it won’t be until we’ve talked more.”

“Fiiiine,” Eddie rolls his eyes, but grabs for the pie cutter on the counter. “Cut me a piece of pie and I’ll do my best to resist taking all your clothes off.”

“I never said you couldn’t do that,” Steve grabs the pie cutter.

“So I can take your clothes off?”

“Shirt only. And after pie…we’ll talk.”

“I thought after pie we’d be done talking.”

“How long are you staying?” Steve asks as he puts the slice of pie onto the plate and hands it to Eddie.

“Four days.”

Steve tilts his head side to side, considering what he can accomplish in four days.

In any other situation, he might be worried about how quickly he throws off his shirt. In any other situation, he would probably insist on talking to Robin before throwing his heart on the plate next to the scoop of ice cream Eddie just put next to his steaming slice of pie. In any other situation, he would take things slow and get to know rock star Eddie who left Hawkins to be someone.

But he’s finding that he’s okay with speed-running things.

He’s got a new perspective on Eddie’s visit, and maybe a new perspective on what their future will look like.

Steve drops his pants. Eddie’s eyes widen.

“Eat your pie. We’ll talk while we make love on the couch.”

[yuri-is-online]

Was Lilia more “Oh my thorn fairy I have another child?! I can barely cast a spell as of now and future me wants a fucking KID?! AT THAT AGE?!”

Or more of a

I HAVE ANOTHER SON?! AND IT’S FROM ME!?

If his Yutu tells him he comes from the future? Because it could imply he does regain his remaining years and magic. Idk how you wrote that problem that even rn it’s giving talk about Lilia surviving book 7 or not.

If it’s the second I already see him passing by Silver’s room really excited and saying “YOU HAVE A BROTHER!” And zooming off, leaving a very confused Silver and thinking he refers to either Malleus or Sebek.

technically anon asked first but this ask is much longer so it was awkward to screenshot for an answer. Here is the link the anon used for reference, I obligated as an elderly hater to let you know it's from SAO. Anon's idea is extremely good and we're going to roll with it for this Yutu's Uniqe Magic because you know he was always going to be a little shit.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. SPOILERS FOR: Book 7, Lilia's back story, and Silver's unique magic. Please engage with this in mind. For more fyuutre kid au, please check out the series section of my masterlist.

I have a bit of difficult time writing for Lilia given how much older he is than the rest of the cast, so I tend to write his Yuu as being a bit older themselves. Maybe they had an extremely difficult childhood and connected with Lilia over their shared sense of robbed innocence. Whatever it was I think this Yuu has a bit of a fascination with creatures of the night and a lot of their weirdo reputation within their community comes from kids telling each other that Yuu and Yutu are vampires. That makes me tempted to say Lilia! Yutu's real name is Alucard or Sebastian, something vaguely vampire themed.

None of those rumors are helped by Yutu finding himself very lethargic when out in the sunlight or his preference for colder temperatures. From his perspective he can't exactly help being who he is, people should really just get over themselves and let him do his thing. It's not his fault that bats really seem to like him for some reason, the neighbors are exaggerating Mr. Animal Control officer he swears.

Because he prefers to spend his awake hours in the dark, he is waaaaay too comfortable doing things and going places he shouldn't. He's real familiar with all the abandoned buildings and sketchy alleys of your town and has tagged quite a few of them. I like the idea of Lilia! Yutu being really interested in street art and Graffiti. I could see him putting up a bunch of bats everywhere and getting in a bunch of trouble for it. He has very fond memories of Yuu letting him paint murals on portions of their house in an effort to meet him halfway. He might like a good prank but unlike his father Yutu is always pulling his punches with Yuu.

Lilia didn't exactly have a supportive parent while he was growing up, something I feel like Yuu remembers and is very conscious of in their parenting of Yutu. Unfortunately for Lilia they also remember that he had another child and was a lot older than them, something Yutu raises several eyebrows at and causes him to ignore the things Yuu tries to tell him about his "great sense of humor" and "desire for different peoples to learn and grow with one another-" yeah that's great can you back up a bit to where you said he had another family? Yutu goes through life thinking he was the product of an affair Yuu had with a much older, married man who was just trying to feel young again. The amnesia stuff... sometimes he wonders if his dad tried to have Yuu killed. He never says it out loud because something tells him he's wrong, but gut feelings aren't as trustworthy as statistics...

So you can imagine his surprise when he tumbles out of a coffin and is told that his dad was a faerie general bound in service to a family of dragons, veteran of an ancient war, and technically the adoptive father of the Prince of the children of the night and the Prince of the rival human kingdom that killed his best friends. One of which is alive and overwhelmed with joy to meet him. Silver wanted Yutu almost as badly as Lilia and Yuu did so to see him alive and awkwardly squirming in his arms? Silver hasn't cried this much since they lost Lilia and Malleus.

Having a proper older brother, not just the concept, is an extreme change for Yutu. He's used to it just being him and Yuu, and he was sort of expecting Silver to hate him just for existing. Nothing could be further from the truth, Silver wants his younger brother to have the same freedoms he did while attending school but he also respectfully requests that Yutu spend at least some of his free time with him. He tried desperately to find his dreams over the years and was never able to make firm contact, but he doesn't want to pressure Yutu into caring about him. Yutu is didn't realize how badly he wanted other family members until he got to have Silver, he's even willing to take up sword fighting so they can get closer.

Sebek is also overwhelmed with tears upon seeing Lilia! Yutu. He is a bit harsh on him for "not living up to Master Lilia's legacy" because he doesn't know anything about fighting. He does applaud him for his willingness to learn. Yutu thinks Sebek is hilarious and messes with him just as much as Lilia does. Something Sebek is completely willing to let him do because it makes him feel like Lilia never left.

All of the Yutus get to see some of the photographs Yuu left behind, but Lilia! Yutu is especially interested in them. He makes a small photo album of all the ones he can find of his dad, especially ones where he's with Yuu and Silver. He's partially driven by guilt for thinking his father was a terrible person, but really he just wants to feel closer to him. He's half fae, and sure he has Sebek to talk about that with but what he really needs is a connection with his father. Yutu doesn't really care about being a faerie. He just cares about his dad's acceptance, everything else can go hang.

I don't have a name for his unique magic, but going off of anon's idea it allows him to overwhelm his target's mind, forcing them to think about their greatest fears to the point they are convinced they are really going through it. Someone hates spider? All over their face and in their clothes. Crippling fear of failure? Suddenly that emotion is all they can focus on. And if it's a mindless creature like a blot phantom or a monster they become overwhelmed with the sensation that they are unable to breathe and about to die. Yutu can't control the illusion the person experiences so usually he tries not to use it on his classmates.

That changes when he goes into the past. Some rando want to shit talk Yuu? Nightmare. Macho NRC guy wants to rumble? Nightmare. Some random guy jumped out from behind him and yells "BOO!" Nightma-

If Yutu had been just a hair slower he would have been in extreme pain, the dangerous glint in those familiar ruby eyes scream that. The short fae smiles almost cruelly, advancing on him clearly upset even though Yutu has dropped the spell.

"Well now, that's no way to great a senior." Lilia's voice is strangely soothing, it occurs to Yutu that this is probably the first time his father has ever been angry at him and he can't help himself. He laughs,

"Yeah sorry about that." He makes sure to try and be cute about it, which helps to diffuse the tension some what. "You really scared me so it was all I could think to do."

Lilia is very impressed by Yutu's reflexes and control over his unique magic. He is even further impressed by how eager Yutu is to train with Silver. The kid has some real promise and fits into Silver and Sebek's dynamic better than Lilia could have dreamed of. He really hopes the two will benefit from having a relatively normal human friend their age to train with. Maybe he and Yuu will stick around and give him some piece of mind about the kids being in good hands when he's gone.

Yutu hanging around Diasomnia gives him an excuse to chat with Yuu more, not that he exactly needed it. Lilia sort of hates the way he's drawn to you, it feels unfair. Unfair to you to give you hope there could be something more and toy with your affections; unfair to him for life to finally allow him to realize what romantic love is like just in time to have to let it go. There is a bittersweet tone to all of your interactions that his housemates are a bit too socially awkward to pick up on but Cater does.

Yutu is surprised how much he likes Cater, he associates him with a terrifying monster he's had to fight multiple times, not a fun guy who is really determined to help his parents get together. And what's even better he's really chill when Yutu asks for stories about Lilia, he has a lot of them and a completely different perspective than his older brother allowing Yutu to glean some more insight to what his parents might have been thinking in the future.

He finds himself spending a lot of time with the pop music club, not as an official member though he's not great at carrying a tune. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are glad to have another person to chill with, sometimes they'll play music and Yutu will draw something based off whatever noise they made. Cater wants to talk him into doing album art for them... you know if they ever get around to making a recording.

I think Yutu will only tell Lilia who he is if he has no choice. He wants to mess with the timeline as little as possible, but should a monster from his timeline appear in this one, say like an overblotted Yuu another asker was so nice as to bring up, well it's not like he says who he is. He just addresses the monster as his parent and has a very loud meltdown not wanting to fight them again. Something Malleus is more than willing to assist him with.

"Think nothing of it." Malleus's power is truly terrifying, Yutu is torn between sorrow that he wasn't on their side and relief he didn't overblot a second time. "You are Lilia's son yes? That makes you my subject, and a most precious one at that." Not that Yutu has avoided interacting with Malleus exactly, he's just found talking to him exceptionally awkward because well. He's not Yuu, he's very aware of how important Malleus is supposed to be. But the way he's looking at him now makes him think that maybe he was missing out on interacting with another older brother.

Something that's confirmed when he turns to see how big his father's eyes have gotten, the man is shaking as he stares at his face and flicks between him, Malleus, and Silver like he's staring at the most precious pieces of art in the whole universe.

As you brought up Lilia's survival isn't guaranteed, I did not solve that problem at all. I sort of just... wrote that Lilia would age more or less like a normal human and not really be able to use magic on par with what a fae would consider normal but would still be impressive to a human... so while Lilia might be a bit reluctant to show his face in Briar Valley he would still have enough years to have and raise Yutu. He might have actually died around the same time as Yuu if they had lived a normal life.

He is overwhelmingly excited at the thought of having another baby. Lilia might not know what to do with them but he does really like kids. What's harder for him to accept is his relationship with Yuu. Raising a child is something he's done before, being someone's long term partner is not. He is unused to feeling desirable, and unfamiliar with acting on his own desires. Sure Lilia might seem very free spirited, but much of his life has been dictated by a sense of duty. The thought of having something precious to him that chose him specifically of their own free will is... disarming. He's overwhelmed with how helpless you make him feel and how little he despises it.

Yutu's need to be accepted by his father is met and exceeded almost immediately. Lilia wants to cook a big family dinner for Yuu and all of his boys, something that Malleus politely rejects asking if he can instead show his Culinary Crucible skills off to Yutu (it's really so he can make babiest brother promise to never eat anything Paw Paw makes EVER) and it's all so normal Yutu almost forgets that he's listening to a practical god smugly tell him he knows all about edible weeds as his father flies around him cracking jokes and pinching his cheeks. His older brother is asleep on the couch waiting for the food to be done and his precious parent is helping his Uncle Sebek set the table, listening to him sniffle about how beautiful Master Lilia's family is.

Lilia might be practically retired, but his mind is still sharp. The information Yutu is able to pass on to him lands in good hands. When he tucks Yutu into bed that night, long after the boy has gone to sleep so as not to embarrass him he makes sure to take a good long look at the little miracle. He is beyond grateful Yutu exists, not even the Thorn Fairy could have given him a finer blessing (he'll have to make sure to tease you about that later, that's got to be a good pick up line) He will make sure that this risk his son has taken pays off, Lilia Vanrouge wasn't feared for no reason. Something it seems some foolish mortals need reminding of.

[glitter-stained]

I don't know if you've already talked about this but I've seen a couple panels where Jason encourages underage drinking (with Tim specifically) and I was wondering what your thoughts were on that. Personally I think it's out of character for him, but then again, a lot of his rules about kids don't apply to Tim

So you have to understand that I don't mean to be rude or mean or anything but I think your perspective is so alien to me I simply don't know how to answer this question.

In Germany, the legal drinking age is 16. My experience with underage drinking is like, that time we drank straight out of the tap of the beer fountain at a party when I was fourteen (supplied to us by a friend's mom), drinking vodka at another party at 15, etc. Did we do it frequently? Absolutely not. Did our parents know about this? You bet they did. Should we maybe not have done some of that stuff? Maybe. I do know about binge-drinking and the developing teenage brain. I also genuinely believe that the fact I knew we didn't have to go behind our parents' backs too much was good for our rebellious asses, because 15 years old me for sure would have drank myself into a coma just to stick it to my mom if she had forbidden it entirely, and doubly so if it had been illegal. The understanding of biological mechanisms and health risks, threat of tremendous hangovers and the resources provided and accessible to us in highschool were much better deterrents/reasons to not drink or drink reasonably than if everyone had made a big deal out of it. All of this to say, my perspective of underage drinking is very, very different from the one you suggest in this ask, and I genuinely have a hard time trying to figure out how "Jason suggesting him and Tim (sixteen according to the panel if i recall correctly, logic be damned) drink alcohol together" would constitute a violation of Jason's rule to the Gotham gang leaders of "don't sell drugs to children". Like there is a world of difference between handing a twelve years old a baggie of heroine and Jason and Tim performing "underage drinking" by US-American standards (which are, to my non-US-American eyes, completely baffling). Unless of course we assume that the only drugs Gotham trades in are weed, alcohol and tobacco.

On top of that I think our understanding of the characters' dynamic differs greatly. Tim and Jason in post-crisis have a two years difference, three max; Cut 6 months dead, 1 year for coma, and then I cut off the two years he spent "catatonic" because he was in a deeply altered state of mind, though this position is debated amongst fans. When Jason comes back, he's thus 16-17, 18 at a big, big maximum. Tim is at the very least older than 16 since they made a big deal of his 16th birthday with the psychological abuse conspiration test plot. All this to say: I'm assuming you're referring to Jason's attack on Titan Tower when you say Jason makes exceptions to his rules with Tim, but I just don't see it, since A) Jason and Tim are in the same age-range, give or take one or two years on either side, and B) neither of them is a child in that comic, which is the earliest they meet and thus the youngest they are in their interactions: they're in their middle-to-late teens. So while I do agree that Jason's rule in UTH can be broadened to an interpretation of "don't fuck with kids", I think this is a complete non-issue wrt his fight with Tim (or Mia, btw), especially from Jason's perspective; otherwise him drinking and fighting people would also be a violation of his rules. Now I do want to say wrt Tim's age, it is later retconning (in the panel you're referencing) to be a little lower (I think he's sixteen in that panel?) because dc doesn't want to let tim drake age. That's still not a big age difference, Jason is still very young in that panel, DC just has a vested interest in keeping Tim young and making you forget how young Jason is. They're still in the same broad age-range. And because this retcon happens later than the titan tower fight, and no explanation that deaged tim's origin has been granted to my knowledge, that retcon has no bearing on the actual power dynamic at stake in the TT fight.

I genuinely don't mean to come off as mean or rude, though I'm aware that I probably do despite my best effort, I just... I feel like both our worldview and our view of the characters differ too much for anything I have to say on the matter to be of any interest to you, idk.

[pretty-mik-97]

The Other Woman or the Other Victim? (Ari’s Story in Tears on a Withered Flower)

Ari, in my opinion, is a painfully realistic representation of how young women are manipulated and used by men who don't respect them as human beings.

Whenever we're introduced to a mistress/side chick in every piece of media, typically, we all automatically villainise her. Or in damn near every case, the mistress is portrayed as the villainess/antagonist. A good example I can think of is Yena Ban from Muse on Fame.

Then we have the mistresses/side chicks who are villainises, but the only thing they're good for is to make the female lead good. Some good examples I can think of are Sumin from Marry My Husband and Aisha from Divorcing My Tyrant Husband.

And a lot of the time, these women go after or pursue taken men knowingly, and a lot of the times, these men give into the temptation and end up cheating on the female leads with these mistresses.

And who receives the most backlash and hate and becomes the punching bag? The mistress, of course. Because she knowingly pursued a man who's already in a relationship and is the homewrecker - as if the man wasn't an active participant in the affair/cheating.

But then we have Ari - a 25 year old young woman who works at the same company as Mincheol, develops feelings for him but unknowingly becomes his mistress, and has no idea the mofo is married. She then finds out about it, gets pissed (rightfully so) at Mincheol for lying to her and leaves him, only for her to take him back after he sweet talks her enough to give him another chance.

"Then she doesn't have an excuse since she's taking him back after knowing he's got a whole wife."

You'd be right. I also thought the same thing and was like: GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

But here's the thing:

Ari is a perfect example and representation of young women who get preyed on and manipulated by grown ass men, especially married grown as men.

I would know coz I had TWO grown ass married men attempt to make moves on me (gag). One of them was a work colleague and the other was a family friend who've I've known since I was 8 years old (mind you, I've known his wife around the same time as him before they got married and have met their kids). And I'll be 26 this year.

These men don't even view these young women as people. Like we've seen and read the way Mincheol describes Ari when he's with her and when he thinks about her. A toy that he can pick up and play with then throw away when his bored. Not to mention, Ari is everything Mincheol wishes Haesoo were. You see this through the way he criticises Haesoo for not making herself pretty and being tired all the time. (Even though he knows she works three jobs to pay back the debt HE PUT HER IN and CLEARLY sees her coming home tired, exhausted and damn near lifeless.) But she's NOT Haesoo.

And I honestly and genuinely feel bad for Ari coz she's in her 20s, a period in her life where she's trying to find her place in the world, figure out who she is and what she wants. So obviously, she's entering into the real world with a bit of a naive perspective and experiencing a lot of things for the first time, and that's what men like Mincheol prey on.

She is genuinely in love with this man. Like baby girl already sees him as her future husband and is already picturing a life with him. Meanwhile, this mofo is lying in bed next to her, wondering when Haesoo is going to call him and take him back.

And one thing about men like Mincheol is that no matter how many times they cheat, they will NEVER leave their wives for young women like Ari. That's the sad and harsh truth. And I wouldn't put it past Mincheol wanting to win back Haesoo so he can pull the same shit again.

And I personally find it refreshing that there's a story that doesn't villainise the mistress or make her the stereotypical mean girl out to ruin and bully the female lead even though the readers are still going to villainise the mistress just coz she's not the protagonist.

Coz stuff like this DOES happen in real life. Young women fall prey and get manipulated by these men who whisper sweet nothings and make promises they will NEVER keep just to trap them to be their toys whenever they want something their wives can't and won't give them.

[joandfriedrich]

Ranking Portrayals of Amy x Laurie from Worst to Best

History- The best way to describe the couple is by alluding to another real-life story. David Bowie shared that when he met Iman, she was not at all interested in him, and if wanted to prove to her that he was serious, he had to work hard to win her; in his own words he described winning her as “it was as if she was a top a medieval tower, and in the process of reaching her, I became a better man, and never looked back.” This vibe is very much what makes Amy and Laurie a great couple, he the dreamer and emotional one, while she is the grounded and logical one. They balance each other out, and because they had known each other for so long, their love comes naturally and at ease that it makes sense they could love each other. They have known each other since they were young, and after much growth on their own characters, they find that they are meant to be.

2019- This is just bottom of the barrel when it comes to showing this couple. It’s funny, and while I am glad that people started to like Amy and the couple more because of this film, but let me tell you, they are not the best version. One issue that is had here is Amy’s character is so displaced. From the moment she meets Laurie, she is practically obsessed with him, plastering her foot so he may “remember what pretty feet I have” and running after him in a carriage screaming for him, when it is incredibly undignified for her to do. Amy plastered her foot because she wanted to try and explore other means of creating art, and it’s Laurie who sees her in Paris, chasing after her. This version really plays up the myth of Laurie “settling for Amy”, as he seems to not be that interested in her until she confesses her own feelings, and once again, Amy making a choice with the hope that Laurie is going to be waiting for her. I just didn’t see Laurie loving Amy as much as she loved him, and I didn’t find there to be much chemistry between the two actors as much as everyone said, not when he is so distant from her until the last moment.

1949- The problem with this film is that there is so little of them. I know that this was the same complaint of Meg and John in the 2019 film, so why aren’t I applying the same criteria to this listing? Because I would rather see so few of their interactions than see it played out incorrectly. The only real interaction they seem to have is during the party scene when Jo and Laurie get Amy and Beth food as they sit on the stairs. The only other hint of a relationship happening before the return from Europe is when Amy asks Jo, before leaving for Europe, if Jo would be alright if Laurie fell in love with another girl, hinting possibly something had happened while Jo went to New York. I think it’s a shame that we don’t see much of them, given that I think Elizabeth Taylor and Peter Lawford could have made a nice Amy x Laurie.

2018- This too suffers not having enough scenes with them, especially as adults, but I give this a pass given that the film follows Jo’s perspective more than the others. What I do like about this version is that we do see some sweet moments between them, both as children and adults, that it makes sense just how it could be possible that they fall for each other. Laurie was always so good to Amy as a child, so you understand why she, as a kid, would have a crush on him, which oddly bumps this over the 49’ film, but it allows me a better understanding why and how they fell in love. They are both creatives who are interested in what the other is doing, while Jo is focused on her own work, not necessarily caring what anyone else’s dream is, just what she thinks they ought to be.

1933- This one fare better than the 49’ film by showing more interactions between the characters that you can understand better here how they end up together. Notably, they share an interaction when Beth gets scarlet fever, and Laurie promises to take Amy out for a ride every day while at Aunt March’s, and then scene with Amy and Laurie in Europe after finding out Beth has died. I love their reunion in Europe, because it shows not only how Amy had matured from the start of the film, but also the incredibly tender look Laurie gives Amy as he comforts her, it’s so sweet and you can see the beginning of a romance blossoming between them.

1970- This is another one that really stayed true to text, and having that helps to get the audience on board with the pair. The first time they interact is when Laurie saves her from drowning, jumping in himself to save her and Amy clearly has a crush on him after this. When Laurie promises to take her out for a ride while she is at Aunt March’s there is a pretty adorable interaction where they make plans. At Meg’s wedding they already have hits of acting like a couple, when he spoke in French, “to you I surrender”, then taking her in his arms, and when dancing begins, Amy is the first person he goes to. Where they shine is when they meet again in Europe. This is incredibly faithful to the novel where Amy lays it out for him and Laurie chastises her for marrying only for money. I love the way Amy defends Laurie and is proud of him going away to London to do better things for himself. When he goes to comfort Amy, he promises to not go back to Paris as long as Amy wants him and promises to take care of her. This is the only version that shows them alone after being married, and the casual intimacy they share with each other is just precious. For book faithful, you are best to go with this one.

2017- This one was a surprise how much I liked it. I liked seeing scenes of them together, especially prior their trip in Europe, because it shows how much their relationship grows, especially the scene at Aunt March where they both talk about their faults and wishing to improve themselves. It shows their vulnerable side, which through the series, we hadn’t seen either of them show to anyone else. While we don’t get much of Amy reprimanding Laurie for his behavior, it still has them being honest with one another about their faults, encouraging the other to pursue their passions, and Kathryn Newton and Jonah Hauer-King have a wonderful chemistry together that I would very happily see them in another film where they are a couple. It’s in the looks they give each other, the simple gestures that help to show that, whether they know it or not, they are falling in love with each other, until it’s unavoidable. The scene where they admit their love, at the bank is an intimate moment, and has dialogue quite true to the book, as Laurie asks if Amy thinks they might be on the same journey that could last forever.

1978- Something I always like to see between Amy and Laurie is moments shared before going to Europe, and there is a great conversation between them about their desire to be skilled in art and music, and encouraging each other to chase their dreams. They are always so honest with each other, even if it is blunt and hurtful, in the end, they know they can take it. The scenes in Europe are so true to text that it made me so happy. I feel like so many versions do not play that out, and watching how their love went from being friends to how Laurie could realize that he never loved Jo, that his heroine of his opera stopped looking like Jo and was more like Amy, was adorable, you can really hear the sincerity in his voice when he says this. You can see how good of an influence Amy has on him, particularly when they see Jo after getting married, and she convinces him to speak to Jo about being married. I put this one higher than the 70’ miniseries, mainly because I felt the actors had a better chemistry together than the earlier version, and if you want something that overall shows the essence of Amy x Laurie, this one does the trick.

1994- I wasn’t expecting this one to be as high as it is, but I think the reason why is all the nuances that are in this version rather than just what we see. I always love seeing Amy and Laurie interactions before Europe, as it’s meant to be a softer version of friends to lovers, so to have a scene where Laurie and Amy are in the carriage, him comforting her as she worries over Beth and staying with Aunt March, and the precious moment where he promises to kisses her before she dies, and to have it come back later on was wonderful. His touching her nose, hinting at her little habit of the clothes pin on her nose, is the cutest little signs of affection between them, a sort of them thing. After their rather frank conversation of how they both are acting against their nature is very well done, showing that they can be honest with each other, and when Laurie goes to London to improve his behavior, it inspires Amy to do the same. What gets me hardest is when he receives the letter from Jo about Beth’s death and Aunt March in confinement, he doesn’t even finish the letter, just drops everything to rush to Amy’s side, proving that she was first on his mind, not Jo, and that he loved Amy more than her. This is the version to really get into Amy and Laurie, as it encapsulates everything that makes their relationship great.

[hyperfixated-fan]

I have some semi-coherent thoughts now. I want to specifically analyze that final scene and why that in particular had me bursting into tears. (I still can’t watch it without tearing up.) I use the term “analyze” loosely and really mean stick around and listen to me emotionally ramble.

FIRST of all, they hit us with grown up Omega, which automatically hits you in the feels because this is the naive, bright-eyed child we’ve watched be amazed by dirt now getting ready to head off and fight in the Rebellion.

Then, they hit us with her exchange with old man Hunter. We got that bittersweet ending in the best way possible.

This is the payoff. The Bad Batch has raised her well. She has grown up into the type of person who sees the injustices in the galaxy and wants to do something about it. It’s time for her to take up a cause and fight.

Hunter’s response. “And we want to keep you safe.”

Omega: “You have. But I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Hunter: “You’re our kid, Omega. You always will be.”

Admittedly, this exchange here hit me deep on a personal level as someone who’s going to be moving out very soon. It’s time to grow up and I want to do this to step into who I am meant to be. But I also know in my parent’s eyes, I’ll always be there little child. And that both warms and breaks my heart just as it does theirs.

My personal life aside, from a storyline perspective, it is adorable how Omega reassures Hunter that they have kept her safe. I mean, just look at her! Look at the bright young person you’ve managed to raise, Hunter. The father genes are strong in this one.

Omega tells him: “Hunter, you’ve all fought enough.”

This in it of itself is heartbreaking. The clones have all fought enough for a Republic that ultimately failed and discarded them. Clone Force 99 was fortunate to end up fighting for something worthwhile. For them, they fought for family and they ultimately won. And now, it is Hunter’s turn to lay down his arms to let the next generation take up the fight. And that stings because while he managed to eventually raise Omega in peace, he cannot fully shield her from having to bear the burden of war.

Honestly, I often think of Thrawn’s lines when talking to Hera and I think it’s applicable to Omega as well. “War is in your blood… You were forged by it.”

Here is Omega telling Hunter that it’s her fight. As a clone, it’s in her blood, in her genes, to fight. As a child raised on the tail end of the Clone Wars, it is her fight because she inherited it. As a person, it is her fight because she’s not one to stand aside while others are oppressed. Once again, a sign of how well-raised she is.

Hunter acknowledges Omega’s readiness, “I know you are… but I’m not.”

Oof. His admittance is a double edged sword. He knows she’s ready, he helped train her himself after all. It’s obvious he is so proud of her, but he doesn’t feel ready to let her go. Listening to his perspective really makes me tear up because it really gives insight on how my parents are handling my move. They don’t necessarily want to say goodbye but they are willing because they know I can accomplish what I set out to do.

THE HUG.

Yeah, I’m drowning in a sea of tears. This is so wholesome!

Before Omega boards her ship, Hunter is sure to tell her, “If you ever need us,

Omega need only say the word and you best believe her brothers are crossing the entire galaxy more than five times to be at her side.

And yeah, that makes me cry all the harder because I know my family will do the same.

And the goggles scene was such another bittersweet punch in the gut.

She’s definitely older than Tech was when he died, but the life she got to live on Pabu and what she’s going to do in the future is exactly why he sacrificed himself. She can live and live well. She’s forever going to be carrying a piece of him with her and carry on his legacy by utilizing the knowledge that he bestowed upon her. I’m definitely sobbing even harder. Tech girlies, I think denial is no longer an option.

Omega takes off in her ship and her theme swells in the background and it a scene of pure art and emotion. Batcher whines as she departs and I am so sad that Omega didn’t get to take Batcher with her because it parallels how I have to leave my fur babies behind!

The Bad Batch has showed us how change greatly affected everyone’s lives and how they learned to adapt to such changes. Yet, there was the constant that no matter what happened, family is still family and you can find a way to carry on to a brighter future.

Hunter’s final lines really get me, “It’s all right, girl. She’ll be fine.”

To me, I can almost take it as a message for myself. As the Bad Batch draws to a close and Omega steps into a new chapter, so must I. It’s rather daunting, but you know what, I’m gonna be fine and I’m gonna make it.

Whatever you are going through, just know you’re going to be fine as well.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - one hundred and four | A Series of Tubes Between Us

“I’m Namhae.”

“YOU’RE WHAT?”

He laughed. “I’m Mountain of Namhae.”

“You’re not--” you laughed loudly, “Oh my God. I never put it together because of the emoji and because I always called you ‘Namhae’ instead.” You groaned at your own stupidity. “I’m so fucking mad right now.”

“At me?”

“No! At myself for not realizing…”

He laughed. “Here, look.”

The option popped up on your Discord to accept a screenshare from San. You accepted it.

“Here’s me using my account.” He used the mouse pointer and circled around his screen name.

“Oh my god I’m so mad. And that fucking explains why Namhae-who-I-didn’t-know-was-you fucking left when you started streaming! There was so much happening that the thought didn’t even occur to me.”

He laughed.

“You even made a new account and everything-- Why didn’t you just tell me it was you?”

“Well, at first I was sort of nervous, and also, meeting in the first place was so weird and I didn’t want you to think I was creepy or something.”

“Why would that be creepy?”

“I don’t know, it was just so weird that I would randomly meet you, my favorite streamer, at the café I worked at.”

“I don’t really think that’s weird, but okay.”

“Well… then the stalker thing happened and I didn’t want you to think I was also stalking you, so at that point I just couldn’t say anything.”

“Hmm.”

“‘Hmm’?”

“That’s a bit more sound of a reason. But if you had told me the first chance you had, you wouldn’t have gotten to that point, because I’d already know you weren’t the stalker because he was a separate guy coming in.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“See? Logic.”

He laughed.

“So… you’ve really been watching me since about the whole time I’ve been streaming?”

“Yeah, I think I was… eighteen when I started?”

“Wow, so I was eighteen too. That’s creepy dude.”

“--What?”

“I’m kidding,” you laughed. “That’s actually sort of cool, from your perspective, because it’s almost like we’ve been friends for a long time. Except for that invisible wall in between us.”

“The screen?”

“And the whole-ass internet.”

He laughed.

“The Mountain Between Us? More like A Series of Tubes Between Us.”

He laughed again. “A Series of Tubes Between You and a Mountain.”

You laughed. “But that’s kind of cool. Did, uh, how did I hold up against your expectations?”

“Oh, um--”

“Should we meet our heroes? I guess, is what I’m asking.” You laughed.

He laughed. “You were mostly like the impression I got from watching your streams. I already thought you were a cool, caring person, and you held up to that.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Did I look how you thought I was going to?”

“Um… I don’t think I really had an idea one way or another?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Most people give me cat ears at least because of the name.”

He laughed. “No, you were just a voice with a great personality to me.”

You chuckled.

You sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Wait,” San started, “What were you going to ask me about?”

“What? Oh, so uh, I heard some interesting information yesterday. I can’t tell you from who, but uh… You were a Chaebol heir?”

He thought for a second. “...Seonghwa wouldn’t tell you because he doesn’t like to gossip, I told Wooyoung not to, so that just leaves Minsoo.”

“Yeah. It was an accident; apparently your mom called her to try and find out how you’re doing or something and when I went to ask something else she accidentally told me.”

San sighed.

“Don’t be mad at her, please.”

“I’m not. She normally becomes an emotional mess after she talks to my mom. She never told me she called so I’ll have to check on her later.”

“Well, I guess Seonghwa would know about it, right? She probably talked to him about it.”

“True. But she’s my mom-- or was. So I’m obligated.”

“She apologized right after telling me.”

“Yeah… But yeah, it’s true. Nice to meet you, I’m Choi San, firstborn son of the owners of Choi Electronics and I left the family when I was eighteen.”

“That’s so young.”

“Yep. I graduated high school and my parents started talking to the family of another company about me marrying their daughter. We met and she was… not a nice person. At all. In the slightest.”

“Just a heinous human being?”

“The most heinous.” 

“Mhm.”

“Just the ugliest personality that a person could have. When we first met I thought she was actually quite pretty, but her behavior when we went out to eat made me change my mind fairly quickly.”

“That’ll do it.”

“And I told my parents that I didn’t want to marry someone to further their business. That’s not a life.”

“Yeah, she told me all of that.”

“Yeah, so... I moved out, sued my family for emancipation, and got a sizable chunk of money to live on while I looked for a job. Seonghwa’s family actually let me live at his house until I turned twenty.”

“Oh, really? That was nice of them.”

“I really owe them everything… they didn’t have a ton of money - they had worked really hard to put Seonghwa into a top school - but they didn’t mind having an extra son for a couple years. I insisted I help them pay rent. Then Seonghwa told me his idea of wanting to open a café and how he was going to take out a loan for it, and I suggested that I invest money in it instead and… here we are.”

“She told me that too. I would never have known, you don’t walk around like a hot shot investor.”

He laughed softly. “It was the money my parents had put away for me, it’s not like I earned it. It’s not really mine.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Did Minsoo… Well, no, I never told anyone this--”

“What?”

“The real reason why I left.”

“Oh? I thought it was because you wanted to be in charge of your own life.”

“Yeah, that’s it; on the surface and at its core. But I didn’t know that until I was eighteen.”

“Because of the blind date?”

“No, this was before that. I umm… I started watching this streamer, who seemed so happy and who had a great fanbase who loved her, and friends who loved her that she could spend time with just having fun and I started to wonder if I could have that too…”

You thought for a moment, confused as to who he meant, until you realized who he was talking about. “...You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

You waited while he thought for a moment.

“I left my family… I left the future designed to ensure I was always wealthy, where my family picked my college and my major and the person I would marry, all with no input from me… because of you and your streams. It was just...” He chuckled to himself. “You just seemed so happy, your friends and your chat loved you, and when your parents would walk in and we’d hear them or you’d tell a story about them… I wanted that. I wanted people in my life who really loved me because they loved me and not because of what I could add to some arbitrary number, so… I left.” 

“What the fuck,” you whispered.

“I thought... if I wasn’t going to have that at home, I should fight like hell to leave. So, I traded all that money, those opportunities, what I thought was the love of my family... for my freedom.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“I… I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time processing that I inspired you to want to be free of your gilded cage, and you never even let on that you knew who I was.” You rubbed your eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

He laughed. “Sorry.”

“You should be,” you laughed.

You were quiet for a few moments.

“So, what do we do now?” You asked. “Now that I know you know a ton about me and have known of me for a big chunk of my life?”

“Yeah… I don’t know.”

“Mmm… well… maybe you could tell me more about you? To even it out.”

“I’m good with that.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“And maybe… we could start streaming together again?”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I sort of miss having you around. Who am I going to work on our Minecraft house with? Or build a new house with? What if I want a summer home?”

“Hmm… I mean, everyone else does hate playing it.”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “But my chat loves it. You’ve definitely cornered the market.”

He laughed. “I suppose… I could come back. You know, so you have someone to play with.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I’ve never met a man so willing to sacrifice himself for someone else’s happiness.”

He chuckled. “Can you send that to my parents in writing?”

You laughed loudly.

“I remember being called a ‘selfish little shit’ at least fourteen times during one fight, so I think it’d make their heads explode.”

“If you really want me to write it, I’ll write it. And hey, I’m kinda famous, so…”

“Nah, you don’t have to.” He chuckled.

You smiled. “Shit, wait.”

“What?”

“I told everyone we broke up, remember? To flush Byungchul out.”

“Oh, yeah.”

You thought for a few moments. That fucker really had to ruin every aspect of your life, huh? Unless… 

“Unless…”

“Unless?”

“Unless you come back as Namhae.”

“Oh… yeah.”

“Because JGG broke up with MorningStar, so he can’t come back, but Mountain of Namhae can definitely be promoted to stream buddy.”

“I think… he could definitely do that.”

“Can you ask him for me?”

He laughed and put his hand over his mic, pretending to talk to someone else. “Can you-- oh! Oh, you can? Okay, I’ll tell her.” 

You laughed.

He took his hand off. “He said he can.”

“It’d probably be weird if we played the Minecraft game we played before so we’ll have to start over so no one catches on. But… Namhae will finally get to hang out with the streamer he’s been watching for years and years, who inspired him to be happy.” 

You dangled the idea in front of him, knowing it would be a good story for the chat as well. They already liked ‘Namhae’ so they would have no problem accepting San under his original name.

“Hmm,” San mused. You thought it sounded like he was smiling. “I think he’d really like that.”

You laughed. “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?”

“I’m sorry! I was talking about Namhae!” 

The two of you laughed.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Two out of three secrets have been revealed to y/n!

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @dinossaurz​​ • @conwunder​ • @tinyelfperson​​ • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​​ • @jaytheatiny​ •

[bettystonewell]

Hi!! Can I ask about The Real Housewives of Lebanon and HunterCorp Dean? They sound really entertaining, and so do the continuations and all of them, of course 😀

Hi lovely!

Of course you can! Asks are so fun!

I love the interest in both of these. And The Real Housewives in particular because it’s getting more and more developed by the day. I might start on this one next over the one I was planning to start next (The One With The Paediatrician) after To You I Belong is complete! (Did that all make sense? My brain is working faster than my typing again)

The Real Housewives of Lebanon is just like the Lebanon episode where we see Sam and Dean from the towns perspective, only what if the town was full of eccentric and lecherous women (or men, I’d love to see a guy, but feel I’m not the right person to do that justice), and we follow them as they lust after the guys and potentially commit adultery.

There’s potential for some other lovely authors to join in on the fun. I mentioned it in passing to two, and they are interested in making a town with me - roleplay x fanfiction

I’ve mentioned a school teacher in one answer, and a post-office worker in another, but let’s introduce Midge (yeah, I’m giving her a name, she can be an OC because I’ve been watching the Marvellous Mrs Maisel and that’s the inspiration for her).

Midge’s husband is a rat-bastard (but he’s not as bad as Dick). He’s a cheater though, and poor Midge has been doing everything for him including raising his kids! She’s tired, feeling less than beautiful, but Dean Winchester, the kind gent who regularly comes in and buys a six pack and an apple pie from her register (you can buy booze in US supermarkets right?), is a little flirty, makes her feel young again, and she always makes sure her counter is open for him. She’d like to open something else, lucky legs eleven, and do the dirty back on her dirtbag - but can she bring up the courage to flirt back and win Dean?

Then there’s Huntercorp Dean

He’s less developed, but I’d love to do a story where Reader and our Dean are in an established relationship (It was a potential idea if I managed to write Glowworm’s story that far in).

For whatever reason, she has no idea about the doppelgängers until it’s too late and mistakes HCD for Dean Dean. Her Dean gets jealous, even more so when she’s asked to stay behind and help them pretend they’re real to swindle Chuck. More jealously would ensue, and perhaps I might try and squeeze in my very first threesome scene? (Not sure about that yet, I don’t know how she’d convince both Dean’s to do that).

Thank you so much for the ask lovely, and apologies for my ramble! Can you tell I’m excited by Real Housewives?

- Beth ❤️

[fandom-hoarder]

Grabbing these tags by @deanwinchesterpregnant from this post to expand.

Because yes, this is a very important part! Sam says it, too!

And while there ARE Sam haters that will say "Sam doesn't know how much Dean sacrificed!" and mean it as a JUDGEMENT and omg wooby!Dean; there are also people like me, who started writing s1 Sam POVs to understand him better, and suddenly connected him to my little brother like, 'OH. Sam doesn't KNOW. How COULD he know??😭' and it's not a judgment of his character or his love for Dean! And he's not stupid! They're both just kids who have yet to work through their own shit enough to realize they don't know EVERYTHING about each other, despite their shared history. It's part of why Sam says in In My Time of Dying that they were "just starting to be brothers again."

Obviously it's a necessary part of s1 to give us, the viewer, expositional glimpses into Sam and Dean's inner workings. But the way they each react to certain new revelations about each other are still canon even if there are Doylist reasons.

It's canon that Sam didn't know Dean carried him out of the fire. It's canon that Dean has felt responsible for Sam almost being eaten by a shtriga since he was 9/10 years old, and it's canon that Sam never even knew that happened. It's canon that the memory of Mary was so coveted by Dean and John that Sam has virtually no connection to her; no stories and no echoes of her in the way they live other than the infamous Winchester Surprise.

It's canon that Sam doesn't really have any happy holiday memories, and Dean does. It's canon that their perspective on the same shared holidays is completely different. It's canon that Dean stole Christmas decorations and presents for Sam and apparently none for himself. And it's canon that Sam realized Dean did that for him and gave him his only present. And it's canon that remembering that made grown-up Sam want to give Dean Christmas even though it meant admitting something hurtful to himself. (John not showing up for Christmas/Dean's last Christmas)

If you put yourself in Sam's shoes--- a kid left alone for most of his formative years; unable to put down roots and make friends; whose best friend, the only one who could even try to understand him, is his good little soldier brother--- it's easier to understand why Sam felt lonely and became a much more introspective person. Because he was literally stuck with just his thoughts and anxieties and the TV for days at a time. When you think about how sick he must've been about it, every time Dean and John would leave. Waiting for that next phone call. Biting his fingernails when the call was late. Wanting to be invited to prove yourself, but also because if you're THERE at least you KNOW what happens.

But then, too, if you can put yourself in Dean's place: it's not necessarily something a kid or young adult can fully appreciate--- especially a somewhat emotionally immature young adult--- that their little sibling is a completely autonomous person with their own inner life. They don't just pause when you leave their sight. Dean throws himself into the hunt, and isn't thinking about how much Sam is worrying about them. He's thinking, "Sam is safe, so I can focus on backing Dad up."

It sounds selfish, but it's simply a fact of the maturing brain that it takes some time to comprehend someone else's existence outside of you as a real thing and not just a vague concept.

So, to touch on another aspect that gets discoursed:

There ARE a lot of things about Dean's parentification that Sam doesn't know at first, but he has always known about it to SOME degree. He had his own perspective on it, and for sure I wouldn't say that Sam thought of Dean as his parent. Dean has definitely always been his older and somewhat overbearing big brother. But who do you think Sam took his problems to? Who threatens to rip his bully's lungs out in After School Special? Who remembers what fucking play Sam did in drama?

And a short related aside--- thinking about how Sam was surprised about the things of his John had in storage. His surprise that John kept an eye on him at Stanford. And relating these things that changed Sam's understanding of his father, to the way his understanding of Dean shifted with each revelation of what Dean had done for him. And despite everything Sam ALREADY knew, his adult brain and life experiences gave him new perspective on things.

This maybe is a little rambley, but oh well. What was I saying...

Oh yeah. So sometimes people get upset about Dean being given like. More praise than he deserves or something, by having those "you practically raised me" lines and things. As if it's a retcon. But it's really not.

It's Sam growing up, and his brain constantly taking in new information and reshaping his understanding. It's Sam seeing how much Dean blames himself for things that weren't his fault, and wanting Dean to see the good he's done. It's Sam being able to see Dean's heart underneath his codependent or selfish decisions, and reaching out. It's Sam trying to remind Dean he can lean on Sam, too.

I've gone off on a tangent and made myself tear up lol. I don't remember where I wanted to end up anymore. Somewhere in the ether there's another rant about how Dean has a harder time allowing himself the introspection on his perception of Sam, and how this leads to Sam having to do a lot of the leading on the emotional maturity of their relationship, and how hard this is when the person you're leading still sees you as their kid, in whatever capacity.

But ultimately, of COURSE Sam does as much for Dean. Of course Sam has agency in this and isn't Dean's baby that had a pampered childhood vs Dean's horrible one. Sam and Dean acknowledging the actual circumstances of their childhood dynamic doesn't have to be a Samgirls vs Deangirls fucking situation lol.

[officialsollux]

What do you think of erifef :-)

ahhh erifef..... it's about the misunderstanding. it's about being the opposite of who you seem to be when you're looking at one another. it's about the being kids too young dealing with stakes too high and using violence and using each other until finally that violence goes ON one another.

Feferi is VERY misunderstood in canon in part because she sounds very sure of herself and the things people around her are doing when in fact that narrative is NOT the true reality of the situation. she is. so so so. and i truly do mean so. witch of life core. she needs Eridan and she is in some ways using him and then switching her desire to be rid of him when she doesn't need him. she views the things he does always as sincere or manipulative in the opposite direction Eridan is acting, which is ironic since they've known each other for so long, but also, half the time Eridan gets absorbed. Feferi finds Eridan too much! he is too much for her! and she is someone who like. has to put herself first or she will twist the situation to suit those needs. but for Eridan she resents him in part because she did try to fit herself into a position with him for a long time because of this relationship with orphaning he had with her that she felt free of in the game. Feferi is in no place when she is a preteen/young teenager to be around very hyper-sensitive and traumatised individuals who she feels any responsibility towards. Eridan is like all of this plus she feels trapped. Which just sort of captures them in this cycles of him feelings overbearing so forth.

Eridan on the other hand is like. Not seeing Feferi as manipulative, but rather fated -- which is part of troll romance and also part of being thirteen -- but it does give some distance between who she is and how he's romanticising her. He loses himself in her perspective. And he is also devaluing a dynamic Feferi is putting effort into maintaining even though it is taxing on her because he wants her in another quadrant. And to be honest, had Feferi returned his feelings, I DO think they'd have been much better flush rather than pale -- hence Feferi being able to like Sollux who has quite a few of the traits that make her irate with Eridan. Though to be honest, I think that relationship probably would wear on her too. Eridan also has all these opinions he's loud about that he doesn't really mean that are the opposite of what Feferi's trying to do. I cannot even truly get a grasp if she believes it because I kind of do think she should be able to see through it, but I do think Feferi is very very bad at empathy. I don't say that negatively -- how you grow with low empathy can be completely neutral. But Feferi is also this counter to Eridan's perspective and they are wrapped up in each other more than anything so if we're being real, I think their perspectives match up more than people would think -- they just cope differently with coming to grips with the position they hold and how to self identify. they miss giant chunks of themselves in opposing ways. they are each other's foils.

now if we're talking about shipping erifef. my opinion is. when they are thirteen. it is not going to work. they are toxic bad bad bad for one another. Eridan is obnoxious to some extent but a lot of this is just on how Feferi kind of is -- which is why I feel like there's not enough great Feferi meta out there. She has sooooo many great traits, and she is so young, but she also is manipulative and violent and sure of how things should be even when she could be wrong. How she treats Eridan is not great on many occasions, not that she doesn't have every right to get space from him, and not that Eridan's isn't someone who shoots himself in the foot constantly trying to interact or portray himself ever.

I used to be really intense about them for a while and then I went the opposite way and I just like this week started thinking of them romantically again. But it's like very much in the context of this fic I'm writing.

I think if they both grew up enough to umask a lot (which I think for Eridan will end with a complete collapse of self and will happen fast and will end up with him falling into guilt & self hatred, still self obsessed, but with a loss of his armour and ideology) (likewise, for Feferi, I think it'd need to be drawn to her attention, repeatedly, shoved in her face what she is and what's she's like, and I think the way she'd come to grips is in fear of the weight on her shoulders and what if she, after time passes by and by and by, could become like her ancestor?) they could potentially be a romantic match.

The thing is. Eridan does genuinely love Feferi a LOT. And I do think Feferi loves Eridan too, she just isn't equipped to meet his needs. Feferi wants to help people so badly. She wants the world to be better. She has a world in her head that's counter to the violence pushed upon them, but it's still wrapped up in the huge privilege they both share. She can't really handle not wanting to fulfill a position, especially one someone else could. Like, the situation with Eridan does need to Be Flipped on Eridan, whether or not that's an accurate representation of the situation or not. Because the way Feferi needs to meet her needs also needs to met by her sense of security in perception. She resents Eridan mostly because of what she doesn't want to be for him.

now. if we are talking pale -- I don't think there's ever a time when it would be necessarily smart for the two of them to be moirails. that's like, the worst matched quadrant for them by FAR. flushed i'm like, well Feferi doesn't like Eridan and that's her right, so it's one of those things where, I wouldn't want her to change her mind to suit him unless they'd both moved on from his childhood crush you know. I CAN see her liking him as they mature. If they unmask. I think she might kind of start to like the balance Eridan has and the sweetness he holds for her. She also has feelings for Sollux who has more in common with Eridan than either of them would like to admit. I can see it being very sweet, especially if Eridan has a good moirail too. But I still think it could go VERY badly. their personalities are kind of bad for one another in many ways. So it depends on how they grow up and how stable they are.

they should not be kismeses. it would uh. destroy Eridan. even if they weren't childhood friends and he liked her red. like i cannot tell you enough how bad that would be. still perhaps not as poorly matched as moirails for both of them, but for Eridan. yeah not good.

so yeah flushed erifef could go hard in very specific circumstances, childhood friends make me SOFT. it's about the love it's about the history it's about the growing up together. i think erifef is compelling and toxic. they are foils. but in more complicated ways than people always think.

[hadescabin]

TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION breaking down tigerheartstar and dovewing and why i think its awful ik I said that I dont really like warrior cats anymore but recently i've been thinking about some stuff regarding the series and its fandom and there's one thing that's been particularly bothering me. dovewing and tigerheart. it's just crazy to see the shift of support for tigerdove considering early 2010s warriors fandom seemed mixed on them. now there seems to be this equivocal support for them, probably because most of the fandom's exposure to the couple has been the recent books which frames them as man who loves his wife x burnt out prophecy kid who will do anything for her malewife. which theres nothing wrong with that dynamic, i think it's cute, but people really seem to forget about how tigerheart straight up groomed and treated dovewing awfully throughout oots and even in tigerheart's shadow. it seems to be a forgotten fact that tigerheart was a full grown warrior by the time he was pursuing dovepaw, who was a newly made apprentice. for perspective, this was a 6-7 moon teenager with someone almost the age of her mentor (a little younger). people try to use the excuse "oh but they're cats" and "the age gap isnt that bad" but even the recent books acknowledge with frostpaw and splashtail, that a warrior and apprentice dating is WEIRD. tbf oots was released in the early 2000s, but the fact that canonically speaking the age gap is seen as a teenager and adult relationship gives me the ick. it really puzzles me to see people get on ships like dustfern and bramblesquirrel (both of which i hate btw) for their age gaps but come up with every excuse in the books to defend tigerdove. its not even just the age gap too, again, their relationship has consisted of tigerheart manipulating and grooming dovepaw to do what he wants. in the first two books (esp the second book of oots) dovepaw is presented as someone who got attached to the cats from the journey and doesnt necessarily understand why they must act like they shouldnt exist anymore due to the borders. this is something that tigerheart LEARNS and actively takes advantage of when dovepaw questions why hes at their borders (tldr its dark forest stuff). he shifts the topic and then goes on about the journey and how he felt that they almost became friends, and that if they were in the same clan things would be easier. this may not seem like a big deal, but this goes on for the rest of their interactions whenever tiger needs to pressure her to do something she doesnt want (meeting up, trusting him, etc.) He realizes that the subject of different borders resonates with her and uses it to his advantage whenever he wants something out of her. This can especially be seen in the next book, “Night Whispers”, which kickstarted their relationship. Dovepaw accidentally ran into ShadowClan territory while hunting, and Tigerheart happens to find her there. Once again, he gives her a speech about borders being meaningless, before asking her to meet up with him before the ShadowClan patrol catches them. There’s also other examples in later books where he coerces her into meeting up or trusting him since “that’s what friends are for” or even later in that book, where he manipulates her into using Ivypaw as a captive for herbs. 

When you take this into account, plus him as a full grown warrior, starting a romantic relationship with a barely apprenticed Dovepaw who is shown as having a childish/ immature perception on romance/mates (such as her argument with Ivypaw and claiming that she should “find her own mate”), Tigerdove feels very much like grooming to me. According to the dictionary definition grooming is, “the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them”. Of course, in this case, since it’s a young adult book, it’s to form a romantic relationship, which could also be another goal of grooming. Groomers tend to display manipulative behaviors towards the victims in order to coerce them into trusting them more. Whether that be through compliments, gifts, trying to resonate with them or make them feel special. They tend to try to get them to keep and “share” secrets, which is another tactic they utilize both to isolate the victim and to get them to feel more comfortable. 

A lot of behaviors that Tigerheart displays towards Dovepaw falls under this, including the examples I mentioned. There are a couple of other comments that he makes which come off as creepy such as Dovepaw “being his favorite sister”, which as I established, is something a groomer would say in order to make the victim feel as though they’re special and garner their trust. Which is especially the case when you note that he makes that comment in reference to Dovepaw asking about his ties to Ivypaw, which he actively lies about, and quickly reassures her that there’s nothing going on. 

This tactic of manipulation, where he either makes her feel special, or even love bombs and dissuade her from standing up for herself, doesn’t stop when she’s an apprentice. It continues when she’s a warrior, and is constantly used throughout OOTS and “Tigerheart’s Shadow”. At one point in the series, Dovewing and Tigerheart get into an argument about Dawnpelt wrongfully accusing Jayfeather of murder. When Tigerheart defends his sister, Dovewing stands up for Jayfeather, which prompts Tigerheart to try and manipulate her out of the conversation. He jumps straight to talking about how much he loved and missed her, and guilts her by asking why they had to argue like this, and why they couldn’t just “meet like before”. As for Tigerheart's Shadow, he actively goes against what she wants (to raise her kits outside the clan) and actively pressures and guilts her into coming back, before she finally relents. He doesn't care about what SHE wants, it's always about him. Whether it be secretly meeting up, or in The Last Hope, he tries to pressure her to date him again (which she FINALLY refuses and scolds him for thinking about his own needs when they're right before a final battle. as she should). It's especially upsetting in the newest book that tigerheart seems to be the only think at the center of her character. when she argues with ivypool, it's less about the two sister's interpersonal conflicts and more about her and tigerheart's relationship. which...feels like a lot of missed potential to me? i want them to argue, i want dovewing to stand up to herself against ivypool, but why does the entire conflict have to revolve around him? why can't dovewing have her own thoughts and feelings without it tying back to her awful husband?

[abroadlifeactually]

Its a Vibe (Free of Ghosts)

Over the last several years my birthday has been a week-long celebration. My 30th was spent relaxing on a beach and partying in Aruba with my best friend, which ushered in the trend to always do something lavish for my birthday. I maintained this tradition with vacations and spa treatments over the years. However, things started to change when I turned 40. One, I was pregnant, and two, it was during the covid years, thus severely altering how I could celebrate.  Last year we took a trip to the Philippines as a 40th redux, and to give me much needed R&R since our move abroad earlier that year was pretty rough. It was an amazing trip, but it wasn’t the “all about me” birthday vacation I had gotten used to. Sunbeam had just started to ween off breastfeeding, so I was pumping for relief and doing my best to maintain her schedule while we were away. On our return home Sunbeam got sick in the airport leaving us quarantined in a tiny hospital room for 2 days with all our luggage, no wifi, cell phone service, or drinking water, and a toilet leaking all over the floor. But that’s a story for another time. 

This past birthday the realization set in that the old days of sipping champagne all day aren’t returning; but it’s okay because my life is evolving, and change is a natural part of growth. At first I felt the need to cling to my old bday tradition to hold on to my “bad b*tch” aesthetic. Being able to splurge on myself and luxuriate for several days made me confident and independent. However, now I’m in a place where trying to uphold those traditions along with my new responsibilities is much harder. It’s not impossible, but definitely requires a lot more effort and planning, which can feel like a lot.

So what does a good birthday look like now? Earlier this year we took a family vacation to the Maldives, and were planning a visit back west around the holidays, so traveling was not an option. I thought about what brings me joy now, as a woman with a family. Hearing the happy squeals of my child brings me life, so I opted to bring Sunbeam to an indoor play gym in the morning, since she’s still a little too young to really enjoy Disney.  We had the place to ourselves. Later that evening, my husband arranged for our nanny to come so we could enjoy the evening out. He planned a beautiful evening. We ate a 6 course meal in a private room at the top of a building with a breathtaking view of the city. I was all dressed up and felt beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with my family.

As my life continues to evolve, my birthday celebration has to take other factors into account. This encouraged me to reexamine my perspective on what makes my birthday meaningful, and embrace what comes with evolution. I’m grateful for the way my life is progressing and all the new experiences it brings, which makes these changes all the more welcome.

Now on another note….this birthday also indicated that an ex situationship has FINALLY moved on. I met my husband back in 2016, and with any new relationship it may take some time for ex lingerers to officially cut ties. But when I was done or over a person, I would totally disappear, they’d never hear from me again.  So when Hubby and I met, I may have gotten a rogue text here or there, but for the most part we just moved forward uninterrupted.

But there was one. An ex? Not sure you could call him that, it really never got that serious, so I’ll just say someone I dated briefly. This person would send happy birthday texts every year to no response. This shockingly went on for 6 YEARS. There were no other messages exchanged in between, because we weren’t in contact. But every year without fail I’d get a random text filled with bitmoji. One year the text came with 6 different Bitmojis…. I thought about responding a few times just to say I’m married, or I’m married and pregnant, or I’m married with a kid and don’t even live in the country anymore. But I couldn’t figure out how to bring that up with a happy birthday text, and also didn’t feel conversing, so opted for cold silence instead.

These messages were especially surprising because he was the “i’m so busy” type. He made it very clear he was suuuper busy with all of his goals, so he needed to be focused. He was the type that presented as if he had it all figured out, while he questioned my ambition. The reality was, we just had different goals. But somewhere between my mid twenties and early thirties I fully accepted that I wasn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, which allowed me to stay grounded and not take negative things men said to me seriously. It was usually them, and not me. I’m not claiming to be perfect, but I stand by that assessment. I also didn’t try to change anyone’s mind, so when our communication gradually faded, it was all good. 

At first, the birthday messages made sense, right?  We were cool, there were no hard feelings. So the first time I got a text after all communication completely stopped I responded “wow, I can’t believe you remembered, thank you”. The following year, “thank you!!!” But in 2018 I decided, I wasn’t going to respond anymore messages, to send the message, MOVE ON. But he continued, he sent birthday texts year after year, to no response. I was slightly amused, but more so confused. Like, what was the reason!?!  We weren’t friends. I’ll never know what his motivations were, but for the first time in seven years the birthday texts finally stopped. I think he’s finally got the hint and moved on, good for him.

[presidenthades]

Trigger warning: Birth and infertility

Randomly popped in my mind. We know, due to prophecy,Jace and Aegon are going to have three children. But how will that be possible? Jace's first birth was really tough, it almost took her life and she was relatively young (not Aemma Arryn young but young). And Aegon is very afraid to lose Jace so how do they decide to have more kids? (I just know Aegon would age 90 years in those 9 months after what happened with Elaenar's birth)

And when they come around how is Jace able to safely deliver? I know every birth is different but some births mess up mother's bodies really badly they're never able to conceive and/or give birth again. I'm sorry if this is a rude or an out of pocket ask, but after we saw what happened to Aemma Arryn I got confused. (You know since she couldn't deliver healthy children because she was bedded and gave birth too young.)

Again, I am sorry if this is a gloomy ask 🙏🏼Ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Good question!

(I would like to take this moment to point out, again, that GRRM makes his female characters get married and have kids younger than even the real medieval world would’ve deemed appropriate. In the Middle Ages, a lot of women, especially commoners, didn’t get married until their 20’s. But we’re playing in GRRM’s sandbox, so…)

I don’t have an expert understanding of obstetrics, and there is some fictional hand-waving involved. But my thinking is that despite the difficulty with them waiting for Elenar to turn the right way, he was born in the ideal head-down position (thanks, Aunt Joff), and the birth didn’t cause long-lasting damage to Jace.

IMO, a lot of Aemma’s issues were because A) she got pregnant as soon as possible at age 13, and B) she probably wasn’t given much recovery time between the miscarriages and stillbirths. Even though from a modern perspective 16 is very young to give birth, there can be a huge developmental difference between a 13yo and a 16yo. That’s a major reason Rhaenyra demanded that Jace and Aegon wait to consummate the marriage. Rhaenyra would probably have preferred they wait even longer, but 16 is the age of majority in Westeros.

Aegon and Jace are also doing their best to prevent another pregnancy for a while, so Jace isn’t having another baby until she feels ready. I think after a few years, Jace will want more kids, and she’ll be the one who has to convince Aegon to try again. (It should also be noted that moon tea, like any contraceptive, isn’t 100% effective.)

If/when Jace gets pregnant again, Aegon is probably immediately taking her to Dragonstone for the entire duration of the pregnancy to reduce her stress and risk factors. I can also imagine Aegon gathering a bunch of pregnancy/childbirth experts from Westeros and Essos. (And that’s how Aegon inadvertently hosts the world’s first obstetrics conference.)

[batsplat]

casey if you want the showers-

https://www.tumblr.com/kingofthering/766887733130084352/sounds-fantastic

random thought: maybe being a part of a structure like the academy might have fixed teenage casey stoner……

(x) he's getting in the shower, he's enjoying the sausage, he's having it all

and oh hm this is SUCH an interesting idea that had never occurred to me. with the academy, I often think about how valentino himself never ever would have joined it... just this implicitly subservient position to another rider, any restraints placed on individualism, losing the ability to define himself to the same extent... I do actually think valentino would be pretty good at team sports, like it's not a loner mentality that would be the dealbreaker - it's just that specifically the academy vibe would not have been for him

with casey... I mean, yeah, maybe? yeah, I reckon you're right. that could have worked miracles for casey. the closest he got was being one of alberto puig's kids for a while (hence the 27 to dani's 26), but obviously that was a very different vibe. this is how puig is being described in 2006 (x):

Puig is a very powerful figure in the paddock, running teams in the lower classes, as well as the MotoGP Academy, widely acknowledged as the best route into premier class racing for young riders. His influence is hard to exaggerate, and when you add in his forceful personality, known for attempting to silence those who criticize his riders, this makes him a potentially disruptive figure in any team. He is, like so many people involved at the very highest levels of professional sport, utterly driven, and people who are so driven often find it difficult to keep a sense of perspective. Alberto Puig is concerned with only one thing: that the riders he coaches should win. Nothing else matters. In a sense, this is totally understandable: He is paid to nurture young talent to produce winning riders, and he is remarkably good at his job. But his focus and his drive rubs off on his protégés, and can turn them into single-minded, dour automatons, concerned only with their own performance, and little else.

not very valentino, is it. like you do probably want an actual academy-esque structure where the kids within it actually get the chance to... y'know. bond. care about each other. no puig

and while puig did play a critical role in casey's career, that's still a connection that had more or less fizzled out by the time casey gets to motogp. so obviously no real equivalent in casey's career. and... I mean, yeah, surely it would have changed a lot. it always comes back to the same few things with casey, doesn't it. casey, who was bullied at school, who was frequently made an outsider even in the australian motorcycling community until he was eventually pushed out of the country entirely... the impact of this hypothetical academy structure does depend a bit on when it would GET to casey - because by the age vr46 typically steps in, a lot of casey's formative experiences have already happened to him. he doesn't get a racing licence from the AJRRA (the australian road racing association controlled mainly by parents of kids casey had been beating most of his life). he has to leave the country. they leave his sister behind. they depend on the charity of others in england. his family is 100% financially dependent on his racing success. every opportunity feels like it could be his last. like... this is stuff that's kind of set by the time he's 14-15. the contrast between his childhood and valentino's is discussed in this post:

and yeah, obviously a lot of that stuff would have already happened. then again, having somebody step in when he was... what, maybe 16-17-ish? and give him some job + financial security... I mean in blunt terms, I know this ask was probably more thinking about the community aspect - but you cannot understate the importance that these practical elements would have had for casey. and yes, there's the more emotional element of... finally being let into a club, of having someone fight your corner, of knowing you've got this structure looking out for you. of handling your contract negotiations - casey also talks about how he and his father frequently just felt like they didn't GET the paddock politics; the insider/outsider dynamic is so foundational to his experience in the sport. all these unspoken rules casey just didn't know... having someone there who DOES know and is looking out for you and can take care of everything bar the riding would have made such a difference

and my god, yeah, there's the community aspect. so much of casey's time in the sport is defined by how deeply, deeply lonely he was. the childhood friendships he'd had either get left behind or are eroded by competitive tensions. he never gets close to another premier class rider, doesn't get particularly close to his team either. in 2009, he said his only friend in the paddock was his wife. and... y'know, while I have no doubt the paddock could feel like a pretty hostile place, I also reckon it would've been a good thing for someone to force casey out of his shell a little bit. like, I get not getting close to your direct competitors, I doubt I'd be massively different, but maintaining that level of distance from basically everyone you travel with most of the year feels... not ideal. at least befriend some of the mechanics my man. looking at some of the canonical vr46 academy riders - naming no names, but I can also easily imagine them in the loner category if the academy hadn't picked them up. and at least THEY could still fall back on childhood friends and acquaintances if they hadn't had the academy, more so than a bloke who moved to a different continent aged fourteen. casey needed some friends!! and maybe just an occasional reminder that not the whole world is out to get him

so YEAH I do agree an academy-esque structure would've made a MASSIVE difference... to the extent that it's almost tough to imagine that version of casey. it does make you realise just how foundational all of this angst feels to casey, in a sad way. what does he even look like without his isolation... you might wonder whether that change would take a bit of his edge away - it's just undeniable that he got a lot of motivation and drive out of his oppositional dynamic with the rest of the world. he wanted to show everyone that they were wrong about him... the rejection by the club back home in australia made him angry, the rejection of teams in motogp made him angry... and well, his circumstances did make him desperate. they made him hungry. it's what he talks about here, isn't it, the feeling that some young riders just aren't taking their riding seriously enough, contrasting it to how he knew he had to take every single opportunity he was given. valentino vs casey about young riders (2009//2013):

(remember that the question valentino got explicitly referred back to an earlier answer about casey - "serious and sad" is kinda his characterisation of casey specifically)

then again. saying this pain was necessary to casey's success would be needlessly myopic, casey has plenty of drive even without piling on the horrors when he was 16-20, give the kid some friends y'know. you can still be plenty neurotic within an academy, you can still cultivate a persecution complex, look at pecco. also, y'know, obviously sports success isn't worth miserable children and never will be. and I suspect casey himself has softened a bit from the stance expressed in his autobiography - I've been thinking again about that podcast interview he gave earlier this year that takes a more explicitly critical view on how his parents forced their dream on him

speaking of, another big benefit of the academy is in outsourcing the role of enforcing discipline so that it's no longer the parents doing it, which again just feels considerably healthier. casey basically says as much in his autobiography:

though, again, I wouldn't call puig a particularly helpful influence either, and jorge's experience with amatriain should be enough evidence that it doesn't take a parent to establish an unhealthy (and even abusive) dynamic. obviously, the assumption here is that you drop casey in a vr46-esque academy - for all his sins, the academy valentino set up in no way resembles how these other 'talent spotters' manage their charges. it's just... it's a safety net, isn't it, in every sense. financially, job security-wise, socially... obviously it's always going to be performance-dependent, yes, but that bit's never going to be an issue for any version of casey

so, yeah. maybe not 'fix' casey exactly, but it would've changed so much for him... it does feel like it would've been an unambiguously positive presence in his life. no, it wouldn't just erase all his issues with the sport - but if he could've found a place within an academy structure like that, he would've been a lot happier for it. probably could've loved the sport more than he did. certainly would've felt a lot less alone