#because that ending literally would make more sense than this one

[the-warlock-syndicate]

What is the purpose of a sex scene? Well on a completely literal level, it is to depict a character having sex. And if you only watch films on a completely literal level with no nuance or examination, I expect sex scenes would be as pointless as eating or sleeping.

It is an interesting question though. Departing from that framing, sex scenes can convey an awfully large range of themes and messages. But, the more interesting piece of the question, which I think you are right to contribute, is where exactly do we think the messages effectiveness is enhanced by a full sex scene rather than fade to black?

I remember Oppenheimer in theaters, and thinking that the sex scene was overdone. I don't quite recall how explict it was, but it seemed over the top, and exposing a historical event which gave insight to his character was not really added to by drawing it out.

On the other hand, there are movies and shows where the full explicit sex scene is narratively important. This is not to suggest anything about the writing chops of the directors, but rather that the plot, the way it is arranged, benefits more from an explicit sex scene than fade to black.

Horror films in general, and Jason in particular, make a lot more sense to have explicit sex scenes. They are generally operating off an old fashioned puritan idea of sexuality, and the logic of the movie is that the characters brought it upon themselves for being so slutty. Which is why the virginal good girl ends up living. The sex scene is important for the message, as something for the movie to rail against. Sure, leaving things ambiguous might have implied the teens were fucking, but that is pretty weak when the subtext is that extra-marital sex is bad. Its like a movie with an anti-drug subtext, but the main character who looks like a stoner is never actually depicted lighting up.

Since Netflix is on my mind, let's talk about a couple animated shows. I've joked with friends that a lot of Netflix shows have a 'Netflix Syndrome', which I use to mean that a somewhat more lax approach to what gets greenlit means a corresponding increase in blood, murder and sex, because it is perceived to be allowed. Particularly with 'adult animation', which needs to prove to its audience that it can be a cool and grownup artistic medium, and swings the pendulum a bit far in the other direction of edginess by overcompensating.

The two shows that spring to mind here are Castlevania, and Blue-Eye Samurai. Now, Castlevania, while I did enjoy it, I think does swing heavily into the Netflix Syndrome arena. Edgy for the sake of differentiating from children's shows, to the point where it feels like overcompensating out of insecurity. There are a fair couple sexy scenes that I think were unnecessary, with fade to black being better options. Also grimderp plot twists lmao. But I do think that one of the biggest sex scenes, Alucard in the BDSM threesome, had its message enhanced by the explicit nature. Spoiler alert, Alucard is lost and directionless, opens his heart and his home to strangers to make friends. One thing leads to another, they are all in bed together, in what should be a culminating moment for him to get out of his depressive funk, see the light and joy in the world, and open up. And when he is at his most vulnerable, being tied up in a particularly kinky threesome, they betray and try to murder him, and he tries to murder them back. Now, there are other ways to write a story in which one gets betrayed while vulnerable. But if you are going to have a sex scene, the scene is better served by going through with the whole thing, instead of fade to black, which deeply weakens the impact.

Blue-Eye Samurai has a couple of sex scenes, which I think work, because the titular character has a lot to work through with regards to her sexuality. Between not being comfortable with female norms and behaviors in a still very male dominated society, crossdressing as a man 90% of the time, and having a particularly odd relationship with her sexuality as an object of desire, owing to her mixed race Japanese-European status which has people see her as a hideous abomination or 'exotic' beauty, full sex scenes exploring these dynamics I think are warranted. Particularly the one with spoiler again, her husband, and the feeling that she could reclaim a degree of femininity in being desired sexually, before being betrayed for her masculine qualities.

I'm not the biggest film buff, so I struggle to name more movies, because there are truly an abundance of movies with no sex whatsoever, and the ones with sex do utilize a lot of fade to black themselves.

"sex scenes have no narrative purpose" is such a funny take on so many levels. people will really believe that the whole human experience is valuable to portray artistically except sex, which of course has never held emotional weight or significance for anybody

[redr0sewrites]

Cuddling with Touya is a must during the winter. He's soo warm

-B3an

🎀A/n: bean. ily. this made me giggle and cackle like a FREAK hes so silly ☹️

🎀Cw: none, just fluff !!!

you are so sosososoos sooooo right !!! Touya is genuinely so cozy to cuddle with, for a multitude of reasons. i headcanon that his hands and limbs are always really cold, but his chest is really warm, so the best way to warm up is to snuggle close. he also loves putting his cold hands under your shirt to warm them up, and just ends up pressing himself as close to you as possible

because of this, he's pretty clingy !! even when he isn't intending to, Touya always ends up gravitating towards you in search of both body heat and comfort. he's definitely very touch starved and is unused to gentle affection, so it takes him a while to let his guard down. probably very much against touching you early on in any sort of relationship with you, but overtime becomes more inclined to touch as he trusts you more

i wouldnt say he's self conscious per se, but he's definitely aware that his rough scars and piercings may make him a bit uncomfortable to hold. even if he swears it doesn't bother him, please reassure him that you don't mind :( it definitely eases some of his apprehension about touching you

i also think he's simply not used to non-violent physical touch as a concept. Touya grew up with Endeavor as a father, and i just don't think he received enough affection in his childhood or adulthood to be comfortable with it, so it definitely takes some time to adjust. obviously this transfers over into cuddling, so he has a hard time asking to cuddle at first. he will probably just act indifferent about it but in reality he desperately wants you to ask him to cuddle so he can say yes,,,

Touya is one of those people who will say that they're cold, and then physically be warm if that makes sense. like he could be shivering and whining about how he's literally freezing.... but then you touch him and he's burning up!!! as we know from his childhood, his body supports freezing temperatures, and so he's better at handling being cold than warm, but it still pisses him off because he's CONSTANTLY cold !!!!

likes when you play with his hair, it makes him really sleepy

also ??? expect him to absolutely melt if you kiss his scars or praise him when he's feeling vulnerable enough to cuddle. there aren't many times where you can see behind his facade, at least at first, but this is the quickest way to do so. as previously mentioned, he's horrendously starved for affection, and really enjoys your praise

no matter your size, Touya prefers having you lay on top of him. it both allows you to rest against his chest and for him to hold you close, which is optimal for both of you, especially at first when he's still getting the feel of physical touch. it allows him to be in control and feel secure, while also giving you the affection you need as well.

another pro of getting to lay on his chest is listening to his heart beat. especially if its post war Touya, he knows that listening to his heartbeat and knowing that he's still alive and still here is reassuring to you. this also helps him as he gets nightmares or night terrors a lot, and just listening to your breathing and knowing your safe and staying with him helps calm him down.

this is another personal headcanon, but i think once he trusts you enough, Touya would secretly prefer to be the little spoon rather than the big spoon. he really wants to be held, and like i said, likes when you play with his hair, but most of all... neck kisses. he adores them. you press a sweet little kiss to the back of his neck while cuddling?? boom he's yours forever

he does enjoy holding you though, and i feel like he'd tap your body or rub little messages into your skin subconsciously. maybe i'm just projecting my own neurodivergent stims onto him, but i truly think he's also neurodivergent in some way and would be super touchy in the sense that he'd tap out little patterns on your skin, rub his name onto you as he holds you, stuff like that. most of the time he doesn't even realize, he just needs something to do with his hands. definitely rubs your hand with his thumb while holding hands too,,,

huge fan of pda- Touya wants everyone to know that your together. when your cold in public, he literally just slides a hand under your shirt or skirt or anything he can reach, and warms you up with his quirk. to onlookers it looks more risqué then it actually is, but that's the best part in his eyes

Touya isnt a very deep sleeper, he has nightmares and night terrors a lot and overall it takes him a while to fall asleep. when it's chilly out this is especially amplified as he CANNOT sleep when its cold, so he loves sleeping and cuddling with you because A) it warms him up and B) it soothes his anxieties

overall, Touya both loves and hates when your cold. he hates it because he can't stand when your uncomfortable,,, but also loves it because it means he gets to cuddle with you !!!

"why are you so far away?" you grumble, reaching out in search of your lover. Touya lets out a disgruntled whine as an arm snakes around his waist, pulling him up against your body. his tension involuntarily melts as you brush away the small hairs at the base of his neck, before pressing a small kiss to the now exposed skin and watching his ears redden.

"you're so cold... s'too cold. must've pulled away in my sleep. 'sorry babe." he mumbles, and you let out a giggle at his sleepy tone.

"s'ok Touya. y'know, i have to get up soon.."

he immediately perks up, squirming in your grasp until he's facing you, before wrapping is arms around your waist and burying his head in your hair.

"no. it's too cold to even go out."

"Touyaa!"

"stay here. we have to make up for lost time, since i didn't get to lay with you as much.. besides, missing one day of work/school isn't that bad, right?" a scarred hand creeps under your sleep shirt to caress your chilled skin.

"besides," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple as he speaks, "you deserve the rest."

☹️

maybe this is ooc but idc i love him sooo much AND im picturing postwar!Touya so,,,, shh. pls send in more Touya asks. hes so silly.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

hi i don't know if i have questions specifically but want you to know i'm obsessed with your transfem hua cheng and he xuan and that it's super meaningful to me to see other people doing transfem characters and headcanons and I love to see it and love your art so much too so thank you for doing that!!!

yw!!!

hua cheng and he xuan have such interesting relationships to their bodies and powers. to me, trans headcanons not only acknowledge their complex identities within the text, but also add a layer of meaning. plus i just love drawing and writing girls.

more of my thoughts on trans & tfem huaxuan below.

⚠️warnings for: mention of transphobia, canon typical violence, tgcf spoilers⚠️

hua cheng is incredibly metaphorically trans. being born under the star of solitude with a cursed eye, he spent his childhood enduring abuse and covering up his face. (one thing that especially sticks with me for a transmasculine headcanon is that he is smaller than expected for a 10 year old, canonically due to malnutrition). still, he snuck into the army out of a sense of duty (re: tmasc hc, i believe he lied about both his age and his gender to enlist). however, to become crimson rain sought flower, instead of harming others, he wrenches the source of his pain (his eye) out of his body with his own hands. once he removes his eye, instead of dying like a weaker spirit would have, he becomes much more powerful and starts forging an identity for himself. his self-mutilation doesn't just free him from the burden of his cursed eye; he eventually claims blood as his signature. for his whole life, hua cheng has been injured and beaten, but after tong'lu, blood becomes a symbol of his power. his blood rain shows that he does not shy away from brutality and that he feels at home within violence.

this is why i'm always talking about hua cheng's DIY top surgery within the kiln. hua cheng carved up his own body in a way that massively empowered him. he reclaims violence as his own natural habitat, rather than something he has been forced to endure. i think this is very transgender; transphobic rhetoric often labels medical transition as mutilation, but to many of us, that is how we become our true selves. it is a tool to make us stronger.

hua cheng's story is about self-determination. despite his circumstances, he was able to literally brute force fate and luck into his favor with the power of his devotion. i also like to read ghost city (and hua cheng's other miscellaneous acts of good) as a metaphor for disability. to the public, it's dangerous and sinful, but in actuality it is hua cheng's way of 'saving the common people'. ghost city provides safe haven for the undead and their wares, making both the mortal and ghost realms safer. the traditional channel for serving believers is from heaven, but hua cheng forged his own path and refused to take part in its corrupt system. he has a radically different approach to executing his goals, so he is excommunicated and misunderstood outside of the vilified community that he provides a home for (the ghost city residents).

it's important to me that hua cheng is trans -- whether in hualian or hualesbians -- because her story revolves around forging her own path, turning the parts of her body that she hated into sources of power, and defining herself (SHE NAMED HERSELF FLOWER CITY!!!). as a spirit, she hangs around because she wants to be the best version of herself: not out of self-love, but because she is a means to an end (the end being xie lian's will).

beefleaf are literally genderfluid in the text. i personally read shi qingxuan as a trans woman rather than genderfluid because she is 1) more powerful as a woman and 2) does it for fun -- being a woman brings her joy. she begrudgingly turns back into a man when her brother tells her she needs to be more proper. additionally, she was raised as a girl and -- iirc -- doesn't have a problem with this.

he xuan, in addition switching back and forth between male and female forms, also has a very trans narrative. they were literally forced to live the wrong life. his power, similarly to hua cheng's, also comes from their body (eating other ghosts). however, hers is additive. she, to me, is the type of trans person that doesn't see their transition as a loss of anything, only a gain (hua cheng, on the other hand, enthusiastically lost his weakened past self). hua cheng killed the girl he used to be, while he xuan morphed into an unrecognizable, more powerful version of herself. hua cheng purposefully built his ideal self, while he xuan strayed from her AGAB more passively.

i don't think that he xuan would crossdress with shi qingxuan if she didn't want to. even if that was the case, i think their woman-sona is very developed for a guy that reportedly doesn't like it. in my headcanon, she is still in denial by the end of the novel. i think that both his love for shi qingxuan AND the unsettling feeling of gender dysphoria would keep him from dissipating. my final and silliest reason for headcanoning he xuan as nonbinary tfem is that she eats a ton because she's on estrogen and is trying to gain boob weight.

tl;dr: trans women can accumulate power by cutting out their eyes and eating ghosts and i think that's awesome

[haru-dipthong]

Fansub Release + Analysis of Utena Ep 14

This is a big one!!

My fansub release posts aren't usually like this, but this episode is so jam packed with stuff I want to talk about that I had to write my translation notes as a series of essays. It's longer than usual so strap in!

First, a word on “The Mikage Seminar”

I’ve always found the translation “the Mikage Seminar” very strange. In English, a seminar is an event — a lecture. Yet “the Mikage Seminar” is discussed as though it’s not a recurring lecture, but a society or a school of therapy, or a cult (like scientology). In fact I did a bit of reading about scientology to try and find an alternative translation, and discovered that the origins of scientology, namely a set of ideas and practices called Dianetics, bears a lot of similarities to “the Mikage Seminar”. Both involve a type of therapy where one person looks into their mind and talks to an “auditor”.

The auditor coaxes the preclear to recall as much as possible. — Wikipedia

This in particular stood out to me! Mikage often says 「深く。もっと深く」 during his interviews (”Deeper. Dig deeper.”).

The Japanese word ゼミナール doesn’t actually come from the English “seminar” but the German “Seminar” (capitalised). According to Wikipedia, in Germany, and often in Japan, Seminar/ゼミナール is used to refer to a university course that includes a thesis project. So ゼミナール refers to a course of learning, rather than a talk or lecture. And it would make a lot of sense to call a system like Dianetics a “course”. Almost like a “course” of medicine — a “course” of psychological practices that you can join but never complete.

So it would make sense to translate it as “the Mikage Course”. But “course” has more meanings in English than just this, and in the context of a university this makes it sound more like a mundane teaching course. So I tried some other words: the Mikage Sessions, the Mikage Method, Mikage Psychotherapy, Mikage Therapy, the Mikage Movement. None seemed quite right. Until I remembered this post. ゼミナール is a foreign word in Japanese, why not find a foreign word for the translation? And so I settled on this:

The Mikage Seminarium, AKA The Society of the Black Rose…

Seminarium is Latin, and is where both the German and English derive seminar from. Its original meaning is “seed plot”, but it’s also just the Polish word for seminar. I really like how the Latin makes its meaning ambiguous — it kind of sounds like a location, kind of sounds like a society, and kind of sounds like a learning course. Because it is all of these things.

Anthy: では、香苗さん。失礼します。 Kanae: ね、あたしの事、お姉さんって呼んでいいのよ。もうすぐわたしはあなたの本当のお姉さんになるんだから。

A more literal translation:

Anthy: Thank you for having us, Kanae-san. Kanae: Please… you can just call me “sister”. I’m going to be your real sister soon enough anyway.

The translation I ended up going with:

Anthy: Thank you for having us, Miss Ohtori. Kanae: Please... you can just call me Kanae. We're going to be family soon. There's no need for the formalities.

Japanese honorifics strike again!

In English, sisters-in-law don’t ask to be called “sister”. That would be super weird in most scenarios, and this scene is trying to evoke a particular familiar feeling of closing a distance gap in a relationship. The audience is meant to relate. Changing how Anthy addresses Kanae was pivotal to this scene working properly.

わかりました。あなたは世界を革命するしかないでしょ。

I understand. Your only choice is to force the world to change around you.

This line is translated as “Your only choice is to revolutionise the world” by basically every other translation. The reason is clear — the Japanese is the same as when Utena pulls the sword out of Anthy, or when any of the other characters talk about “revolutionising the world”. However, in this context, I don’t like it. The nuance of the English phrase is quite different to the Japanese phrase. In English, it’s often used to describe new commercial products: “This new device will revolutionise the world!” It comes with an implied “for the better”, but has used to describe technological developments so unexciting that it can also feel hollow. When the student council talk of revolutionising the world, they sound like revolutionaries — the context makes it work. But in this context, it comes out of nowhere and doesn’t have any of that fervour, which makes it sound hollow and flaccid when it should sound sinister and manipulative.

I think a pervading throughline for all the Black Rose duelists is that they see their problems as caused by other people, with themselves being blameless. Rather than change how they approach their situation, Mikage tells them they’re in the right.

Your behaviour will set you down a path. If that path leads to your goals, well done! However, if your path does not lead to your goals, there’s only two ways you can achieve them.

The first is to change your behaviour so that it does align with your goals. The second, impossible way, is for the rest of the world to change such that your current path DOES end up leading to your goals. This second way is not possible in the real world. But it is possible in Utena.

Also I’ll just leave this here: “around you” → “revolve” → “revolution” 👀

Kanae tried to build a relationship with Anthy in a passive, non-confrontational, extremely Japanese way — the way she has been taught to behave, the “proper” way, a mechanical following of the social scripts. We don’t see a lot of their relationship, but the way she behaved and spoke of behaving towards Anthy is very very similar to the way my Japanese grandmother has behaved towards my and my brother’s partners.

It was unthinkable to her to change this pattern of behaviour. Her only choice was to change Anthy, change the rest of the world, so that her behaviour would lead to the outcomes she wants. You could describe this forceful bending of reality to be “revolutionising the world”.

この黒薔薇のある限り、私はこれから���の私を演じなくて住む。

As long as I have this Black Rose, I'm free from the lie I was living before.

Besides gender, growing up, and resisting change (which exist as separate themes but also all intertwine as one), another major theme present in Utena is the self and subjective reality. The self is explored within those first major three themes, but also in terms of how the self dictates reality with the Black Rose duellists.

Black Rose Kanae says that her past self was a lie.

It reminds me of all the times when I’ve been going through a personal trial and I’ve looked back on my past self and thought “How naive I was. I understand things better now.” And then after a while I realise I was wrong, and my first self was more right. And then later still, maybe I re-realise that the second self was more right! And so on! The reality of truth (or to use Kanae’s language, “lies”) is so subjective.

Who dictates knowledge production? Who decides what is true; what is valid knowledge? This is a question of sociology - and at the moment that answer is "science does, kinda". But science and academic systems are supported by capitalist structures and tainted by capitalistic incentives — needing to be published in a journal, issues of replicability, the barrier to entry into academia in the first place, etc, etc. In the future we may find our current way of organising knowledge to be archaic and primitive in the same way we look back at medieval scholars.

But what about organising self-knowledge? Knowledge where the only one who can really decide what is true is yourself. And the only one that can decide what yourself even IS is yourself. I feel like I have looked back on my old ways of conceptualising myself many times (not even counting the gender-based revelations) and thought it primitive and archaic, and NOW I truly understand who I am and how to think of myself and how my thoughts interact with my other thoughts. But I have no doubt that I’ll look back on this current self of mine and reject their way of thinking too.

After their heart is replaced by the Black Rose, the duellists themselves frame this change as a moment of self realisation, of clarity. Once the rose is inside them, they wake up from themselves, like I have countless times. Kanae says herself, “This is the true me.” Honestly, I don’t doubt it. I think that version of Kanae was her true self at that moment, given the things influencing her. Being brainwashed doesn’t make you less of a person, or less yourself. It just makes you organise your reality differently.

心を凍結させて作っただけ���間に合わせのデュエリストでは、彼女は破れないな。

We won't be able to defeat her by simply freezing someone's heart and forcing them to duel.

Anya and I discussed this in depth. I originally translated 心 as “mind”, because that was the first thing that popped into my head and I thought that was the simple part of the translation. However, Anya pointed out that it didn’t make sense with the themes of self and subjective reality, and I strongly agreed, so I changed it to “heart” instead.

Anya suggested “conscious mind” instead of “heart” but I think heart is more accurate. 心 (kokoro) can mean heart or mind in Japanese (I find it interesting that those two things are portrayed as opposites in English), and that kanji is found in the word for biological heart, 心臓 (shinzou). When they say of the Black Rose "This is your new heart" they use 心臓. They also say "Your new 命 (life/lifeforce)" which I translated as soul since it sounded more hardcore and because "your new life" is a set phrase in English meaning a new chapter in your life rather than your life force. I think the idea is that they're freezing the duellists' ability to love and feel empathy, which in my opinion is necessary for them to commit to the unbelievably selfish act of revolutionising/reconstructing/bending the entire structure of the world for their own convenience.

A very special thanks to @dontbe-lasanya for being there to talk through all these themes and ideas. I'm incredibly proud of this episode's translation and I wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

If you want to see more analysis like this, let me know! And also follow this blog to see episodes of the fansub as they're released. You can find all episodes released so far here:

Rose divider taken from this post

[bouquet-of-flow3rs]

Blood Lust

Chapter I

!Pairings: Vampire!Ot8!Straykids x Reader

Genre: Supernatural AU, Slow Burn, Angst, Future fluff, MDNI!

!TW!: Violence, thoughts of suicide, sexual assault, being chased, MC is cut by a knife, mentions of legs being broken, blackmail, non-consented pictures and videos. mentions of being choked, bruises, blood, toxic relationships, whipping, degrading names, MDNI. [Let me know if I missed anything!]

[A/n: Please read the prologue first it will make more sense lol]

Waking up the next morning feels like hell. Everything hurts from the bruises on your neck to the throbbing pain coming from your core, you’re not even sure if you can get up, your lower half especially hurting, and the feeling in your legs is numb but the ache that is settled in your bones reminds you of the pain you endured last night, all of this makes you think how you may need to call out of work but you know you can’t because you need the money if you’re ever going to even get close to escaping this hell hole.

You know that even if you do manage to get the money to leave Sungwoo would come up with some outrageous reason why you can’t, like the time he threatened to kill himself if you left just as he’s done many times before, and if he doesn’t try to guilt you then you know that he may try to hurt you or blackmail. You still remember what he did to you one of the last few times you've told him you were going to leave, he blackmailed you with nudes and videos he'd taken while he took advantage of you, you’re aware he has many of both your least favorite pictures he has of you are the ones where he's written degrading words across your body and the ones where he has you tied up in rough, scratchy ropes, but you hated the videos he has more than any photos he may have, many of said videos are close-ups on where he shoved his dick into you or where you’re sobbing and he believed your tears were ones of pleasure. When you told him you didn’t care and that he could go ahead and post them he stormed off to his room before returning and swinging a metal bat at your legs fracturing them, you vividly remember the guttural cries that left your throat as he repeatedly brought the bat down on you, you remember trying to crawl away from him using your forearms to drag yourself away and you recall the evil grin on his face when he dragged you back by the ankles turning you over so you were on your back and gripping onto the roots of your hair making your scalp burn in pain, “Sorry but you aren’t going anywhere.” You remember him spitting out at you before he quite literally spat on your face, tearing off your clothes unbuckling his belt and pulling down his jeans. You remember how after he was done he left you there in the entryway leaking his unwanted cum, legs broken, and bruises littered all over your body. Even just thinking back on that memory makes you feel ghost pains of what happened that day, you also remember how he never even bothered to bring you to the hospital so you ended up healing incorrectly. 

After finally getting off of your bed you slowly make your way to your dresser to pull out some clothes for work, you want to make sure you cover your bruises well enough, you struggle getting dressed thanks to the bruises on your ribs and the persistent ache of your body,  you carefully sift through your dresser and pull out a cream turtle-neck sweater, you slip your arms through the sleeves and pull it over your head albeit slowly and painfully, afterwards you open another drawer and grab out a black pencil skirt, this time you struggle much more to slip it on you can’t bend without feeling immense pressure all over your body but after a few moments you manage to slip it on, lastly you grab a pair of black tights and you have to sit down before you can put those on, once you’ve managed to fully cloth yourself you walk out of your room as quietly as possible so you don’t catch the attention Sungwoo, unfortunately for you he was waiting outside your room for you when you opened the door. You stand there stiff as you can praying he ignores you but that is far from what happens because he looks up from scrolling on his phone and stares at your stiff figure, he smiles at you in an unsettling way, slipping his phone into his pocket and approaching you, you stay perfectly still as he stands in front of you, “Good morning [Y/n].” He says his hand moving up towards your hair and stroking it, “Good morning Sungwoo.” You reply holding your breath as he threads his fingers through your hair, “You look nice.” He says a bite to his tone as he eyes you up and down, his tone and stare make you stiffen up even more, “I-it’s just my outfit for work.” You stutter out, he hums his fingers moving to the top of your head before tangling them into a tight grip making you wince, “Do me a favor [Y/n],” He drawls out, “Make sure to stay out late tonight, I’ll be bringing my girlfriend over tonight and I don’t need you here to ruin it.” He glares at you, his grip out your hair lifting your head and forcing you to look into his eyes, “Okay, I’ll ask to work overtime tonight.” You whisper, dropping your gaze to the ground. “Good girl.” He says finally letting go of your hair, you both stand there staring at the ground and he looks at you with a glint in his eyes, “Don’t you need to finish getting ready, wouldn’t want to be late again.” He says condescendingly, “Now go on.” He says smacking your check lightly but hard enough to sting before walking off. You stay there for a few more seconds trying to get yourself to move and when you finally feel like you can you dart towards the bathroom.

When you finally get there you make sure to lock the door and lean against it trying to stop yourself from hyperventilating, you screw your eyes tightly closed and clench and unclench your fists all while doing breathing exercises to try and calm yourself down, you can feel warm, salty tears escaping from your eyes and traveling down your cheeks, once you’ve calmed down enough you turn towards the mirror and gaze into your reflection. You take notice of your tangled hair,  bloodshot eyes, and the bruises that peek through the top of your turtle-neck. You sigh at your reflection and begin to heat up your curling iron and pull out your make-up bag, you begin with color correcting the bruising on your skin using various products to cover it up, you cover them all from your forehead to your neck making sure none of them are too visible, you know there is no way you’ll be able to perfectly cover them but you'll at least be satisfied if you can make them less noticeable. Once you’ve completed your makeup look you begin to separate your hair in two layers before curling the bottom layer and then moving on to the top layer.

You once again stare at your reflection, you can see how visibly tired you are, and the eyebags are still rather noticeable as well as your sunken face but at the very least you couldn’t see the bruises. After you’re finished getting ready you make your way to the front door continuing to try and avoid any more run-ins with Sungwoo for the morning but of course, you see him sitting at the dining room table in the dark staring intently at his bright phone, you try to sneak past him and to the door but h speaks up before you can grab your shoes from the rack, “Don’t forget what I said [Y/n] and don’t even think about trying to run away since you’ll be out late, you know what will happen if you do.” He says lifting his head to you with a sadistic grin on his face that makes you feel sick, “I won’t..” You manage to choke out trying your best to avoid looking at him, “Good girl.” He purrs out making you feel nauseous.

Finally being out of that apartment feels like a breath of fresh air, Sungwoo has made it very clear that you are not allowed out unless it’s for work or he’s with you, but that routine feels incredibly suffocating as if you are chained to him but you’re too afraid to free yourself so you can’t help but be a caged bird. 

You don’t have a car, so you usually take the train to get to work, but the walk to the station isn’t a short one. You look up to the sky and see it’s cloudy, you didn’t check the weather for the day but seeing as how it's beginning to approach winter that means there is a good chance it will be cold today, you feel the breeze push past you blowing your hair in different directions, you sigh and you can see your breathe as if it were smoke float up. Continuing on your walk you pass by many people, you see families walking with their young kids probably on their way to drop them off at school, you also see an older couple who are sitting on a wooden bench close to some shops as they are bundled up holding each other's hands, your heart clenches and you can’t help but wish that was you, and the one that tugs at your heart the most a girl around your age who is holding on tightly to who you can only assume is her boyfriend based on the way she is clinging to him as they giggle together at some private joke, god how you want that, to be genuinely treasured by someone, but you’re happy for all of those people because it means they won’t end up like you, a bird in a cage who longs to be set free. Finally reaching the train station you scan your travel pass and the gates open for you to pass through, you walk towards the train you take and wait for it to arrive as it’s running a bit behind today, while you wait you pull out your phone checking your notifications but as always there are none, ever since moving in with Sungwoo he made you delete everyone from your contact except for him and there was no number spared you weren’t even allowed to keep you family’s contacts or keep in touch with any friends that weren’t him, the only number allowed other than his was the floral shop you worked at but even that he monitors, he’s completely isolated you from everyone even going as far as to make it so your phones were connected and if you ever wanted to download any apps he would have to give permission. Boarding your train with many other passengers you quickly try and snag a seat but you are unsuccessful, you decide to hang onto the ceiling rails but you immediately sense the feeling of a pair of eyes on you making you uncomfortable, you carefully shift your eyes around the train cart trying to figure out who it is but you can’t seem to find this person until you hear the sound of a shuttering camera coming from behind you and you instantly spin around to find that sitting behind you is an old man who is staring very intently at his phone, “Excuse me sir-” You try to confront him and he glares up at you grunting “What.”, “Uhm, did you take a picture of me?” You attempt to ask but he cuts you off with a scoff, “Why would I do that, I can’t believe you’d say that!” he outrages, “I-I’m very sorry sir but I thought I heard your phone go off.” You try and reason but he begins yelling again catching the attention of other passengers on board, “Please, all you sluts are the same, you’re so desperate for male attention you go around accusing people of peeping on you when you’re a whore!” He shouts at you standing up from his seat, he’s a short, skinny old man whose hair is bald at the top, everyone on board is staring at the two of you and you begin to shrink in on yourself, “I’m very sorry sir that wasn’t what I was implying at all I was just-” You again try to apologize but he shouts once more, “No, I won’t hear your excuses you just want attention that you don’t care who it's from you slut!” He shames you, you aren’t sure how you should even react right now so you bow your head to the man before moving far away from him towards the back of the cart. 

As the train finally comes to a stop you can still feel people's eyes on you even after the incident that took place earlier has ended and you can hear the murmurs and whispers directed at you as people begin to stand up and pass you to get to the doors, you keep your head facing the floor as they all walk past you, you finally exit after everyone has left, simply because you couldn’t deal with everyone’s eyes on you as you walked past them. After exiting the station it was another 15 minutes to the Flower shop. You moved in with Sungwoo after high school and he didn’t want you to go to college back then you listened because you believed he liked you back and just didn’t know how to show it but now you know better and that he couldn’t care less about you and he only keeps you for his own entertainment, so when you decided you wanted to get a job just so you’d be able to leave the house more often it took you many failed interviews to finally land this job and you’ve been working here for many years lasting longer than most of the other employees since once they got better education they chose to leave while you stayed, you’ve never made friends with any of the people you’ve worked with, much to scared of what would happen if you did. You thought about this the entire way to the store and when you reached it you began to unlock the doors and turn on the neon ‘Open’ sign and do all of your other usual opening routines. The store’s name is ‘Velvet Petal’, not your idea but the owner is a sweet old lady who opened this store as a family business originally but when all her children moved away she began hiring and kept the original charm of when she first opened it. Today it’s only you and a few of your male coworkers you aren’t fond of because they aren’t good with flowers or customers especially if they’re women because they always try and flirt with them so you eventually have to step in to assist them having to do all the work.

Currently, there are no customers in the store and you’re working on some floral arrangement orders that were placed earlier this week, you’ve been working so hard that you begin to sweat a bit and wipe at your neck not realizing that the make-up you used to cover the bruises and hickeys had smudged and revealed the reddish-purple skin underneath, “Damn [Y/n], I didn’t realize you were into this kinda thing.” One of your male coworkers Minjun purrs trailing a cold finger up your neck making you tense up, “What are you talking about Minjun…” You mutter out still focusing on the flowers in front of you, “Oh you know, just the fact you’re a whore who enjoys being marked up.” He says as if it were the most casual thing in the world, at this you stop what you were doing to spin around and face the smirking boy who is looking at you with lidded eyes, you make sure to keep as much distance as you can from him but it's hard to do when he’s pressing himself up against you, “Minjun please move away from me.” You plead incredibly uncomfortable with the position you’re in. That feeling becomes even worse when your two other coworkers enter the room and grin wildly at the sight in front of them, “Wow, [Y/n] such a dirty girl doing this kinda thing with Junnie in the store where a customer could walk in.” Dowon says a filthy smirk on his face as he eyes you up and down, “Nah man, I think she’s hoping a customer will walk in and see her being a slut for us.” The other boy, Seongho says as he approaches you and Minjun, “No I don’t want that, and I don’t want this!” You begin to panic trying to think of a way you can get away from the three men who are closing in on you, you try and squish yourself further back against the table slowly moving your hand around it to try and feel for anything you can use to help defend yourself with, but you’re saved when the store bell rings and you quickly squeeze yourself from the unsafe moment and over to the customer to try and get away from them, “Hello ma’am how can I help you,” You say trying to keep your heart rate steady and keep yourself from shaking, “Oh I’m just looking for a little something to help brighten my house, I was thinking some roses would look great in my kitchen.” She explains, “I see, well we have a vast selection here at ‘Velvet Petal’ so I’m sure we can find you something you’ll love.” You spout trying to keep your voice steady and put on your best ‘customer service’ face and voice. After helping the woman you tell Minjun, Dowon, and Seongho that they can clock out for the day this seems to satisfy them and they quickly leave you alone at the store much to your relief, once they’ve left you feel you can breathe again and your heartbeat slowly returns to normal knowing you won’t be put in a situation like that for the rest of work. Since Sungwoo told you to work late tonight you decided to catch up on a few custom orders you’ve gotten this week and lock up before heading to the back area where you keep the floral arranging area, you work on one of your favorite orders of this week which is for a brides bouquet. After finishing a few more arrangements you check the time and groan when you discover it’s only 6 pm, you decide to clean up around the store hoping it will help pass more time. Luckily for you, it seems to work as the time is currently 8 pm, so you close the door of the shop and start making your way down the dark streets that are only illuminated by the moon’s shine. 

There is nobody down the street except for you.

An unsettling feelings begin to pool at the bottom of your stomach. You feel as if there are many pairs of eyes on you.

You pick up the pace beginning to speed walk,

You hear the sound of footsteps coming from somewhere behind you, you try and subtly turn your head but you are unable to see anything down the pitch-black street, you try to pull your phone from out of your pockets but find that it's not there, you begin to panic even more looking ahead of you to try and find anyone there who might be able to help you but you find nothing, the familiar street shops are now closed and there is no light in sight.

Your breathing becomes heavier as you begin to hear even more pairs of footsteps begin to follow you.

You think that you may be able to lose them if you swerve through different alleyways so that's what you do you make your way down different turns and cuts to try and lose the people following you but it doesn't work so when you pass the next alley you quickly turn into it to hide.

You duck down behind a dumpster and pray whoever it is that is following you won’t look there.

The sound of footsteps echo through the dingy alleyway.

You cover your nose and mouth with your hand doing your best to stay quiet, your eyes are beginning to blur with tears, and you are shaking, you make sure you stay silent as many pairs of feet pass your hiding spot.

Things are being thrown around, there are loud thuds and the sound of metal crashing against the concrete echoes off the brick walls of the dark and filthy alleyway.

You flinch at the loud sounds pressing your hand harshly against your mouth to muffle your yelp.

A gruff voice yells, “Fuck where’d she go!” And is followed by the sound of a can being kicked,

The can rolls towards you and your eyes widen “No, no, no…” You whimper to yourself trying to scoot away from it deeper into the middle of the large dumpster.

The alleyway goes silent.

You are breathing heavier and your eyes burn at the feeling of your unshed tears.

The three men nod to each other, one of them making their way to the dumpster covered in filth, as another makes their way to the other side of it. 

You hear their footsteps echoing off the walls as they get closer and closer to where you’re hiding. 

“Come out, Come out wherever ya are~” 

You hear the deep voice of a man say from the left of the dumpster, you whimper trying to keep your voice down, on the other side someone bangs on the side making you jump, you hear a raspy chuckle coming from your left and you can see the man's worn down shoes.

“Don’t worry doll, we ain't gonna hurt ya.” 

You hear the same voice speak up.

“Yeah, we jus’ wanna play with ya!”

You can hear the man to your left side say in a croaky, dry voice, you curl into yourself covering your ears and squeezing your eyes shut tightly, “Please, leave me alone..” You whisper to yourself in a shaky voice. But the dumpster is moved away from you revealing your hiding spot.

“There ya are pretty.”

One of the men says quickly grabbing onto your forearm, you yelp at the sudden movement and try to pry his hands off of you, “Please leave me alone!” You scream at the three men but they simply chuckle at your outrage.

 “Don't worry sweet thing we ain’t gonna hurt ya, we’re jus’ gonna make ya feel real good~” 

The man in the center speaks up as he approaches you, He gets closer and closer to you until he’s standing inches from you and you can smell the alcohol on his breath.

You rack your brain trying to figure out an escape route and as hard as you can you swing your leg up between his legs and nail him right in the balls, the man shrivels up and groans as he grips between his legs, you next turn your body and pry the man's hands off of you before dashing out of the alleyway.

“Don’t just stand there like a bunch a idiots go catch her!” You hear the man you kicked yell at the other two.

You sprint as fast as you can past the run-down apartment buildings, you can hear the two other men running after you their footsteps heavy and echoing, you manage to make it to an open convenience store and quickly make your way into it, “Please sir I need your help!” Your words are rushed and you’re wheezing from the run, the man looks panicked and confused, “Miss are you alright?” He asks, “No, please there are three men who dragged me down an alley I managed to escape, please help me!” You beg the man, tears streaming down your face, “Okay come this way I’ll help you.” He makes his way from behind the counter and brings you over to an employees-only break room, “You can hide in here for now and I’ll call you a cab okay miss?” “Yes sir, thank you so much for your help!” You hiccup wiping your tears away roughly, the old man pats your back before he makes his way back to the front of the store.

You hear the door to the store beep and some muffled voices but you’re sure it’s the men who are after you, you can hear some loud shouting before the store bell rings again and you pray that they’ve left.

The old man comes back in and informs you that the cab is here for you and that the men left. “Thank you so much, sir.” You bow deeply to the man but he simply waves you off, “Don’t worry about it, I only did the right thing to do.” You smile at the man's generosity before bowing once more as he walks you out of the store to see you off.

The ride back to your apartment is a long and silent one, you find your phone buried in your bag, you check it and begin to panic when you see the time is nearing midnight, you had no clue those men had been chasing you for so long but you don’t care since you’re safe from them, but you know you won’t be safe when you return to the apartment, you dread what Sungwoo’s may think happened, ‘Does he think I ran away?’, 

‘Will he worry when he knows what happened, will he even care?’, ‘Will he hurt me because I’m coming home late?’ 

You begin to overthink what may happen upon your return home.

When you finally make it back to the apartment building you take your time choosing to climb the stairs even if your body screams at you for doing so simply because it means you can put off the inevitable.

You stand outside the door trying to calm yourself down before finally pulling out your keys and unlocking the door, low and behold Sungwoo is waiting for you at the kitchen island his fingers interlaced as he glares at you, “Where were you?” He interrogates, “Y-you told me to work late tonight so I did.” You stutter, he hums before standing up and taking slow and heavy steps toward where you stand in the foyer, he stands a few inches away from you now, his gaze is cold and you can feel the rage roll off of him in waves, “You smell like alcohol and trash.” He states and you gulp, “I-I was being chased on my way home from work by three drunken men.” You say truthfully but Sungwoo simply scoffs at you, “Oh yea, 'cause I totally believe that,” He rolls his eyes, “I bet you were whoring yourself out.” He accuses you, a hand making its way to your face as his fingers dig into your skin while he strokes you, “You’re such a slut that you’d go around offering yourself to men on the street huh?” He muses, “N-no that's not what happened I promise.” You plead but he ignores you, so you switch tactics, “Besides why would I do that when I have you?” You make your best puppy eyes at him trying to play innocent hoping it’ll work, “Awe you’re so cute,” You feel a sting on the left side of your cheek, “To think that would work on me, it might’ve if you’d been home sooner but its past midnight [Y/n] so don’t play dumb with me.” He glares his hand digging into your scalp as he pulls on your hair, “Not to mention the state you’re in, you’re covered in filth and your hair is a mess.” he sneers at you, he begins pulling you deeper into the house by your hair, you can feel the itching pain of it and the sting of your cheek as he drags you into your room.

He throws you onto the floor making you drop down with a thud, you watch in horror as he begins to unbuckle his belt but instead of taking off his pants he folds the belt in half, “Take off your clothes.” He glares down at you as if you were dirt on his shoe, you quickly do as he says and strip yourself naked, you know what’s about to happen so you close your eyes tightly and position yourself onto your hands and knees like you know he wants you. “Good girl.” He says before he swings the leather belt down onto your back making you scream out in pain, after only the first swing your eyes well up with tears and your throat stings after the sharp yell,

“This.” Slap “ Is.” Slap ”What.” Slap ”You.” Slap “Deserve.” Slap “For.”  Slap ”Being.” Slap “A.” Slap “Slut” 

He whips the belt down onto you after each word he speaks, you scream and cry as you begin to feel welts and cuts appearing on the red, irritated skin. “I think you need a harsher punishment to remind you who you belong to.” He speaks his face twisted into a sadistic grin, he drops the belt to the floor and walks away you know not to move and just let yourself sob, you have no idea what he plans to do but you know it can’t be good if he’s left the room.

When he returns he kneels behind you, “Be a good girl and stay still, this will hurt less if you do.” He says in a sadistic voice and it scares you because you have no idea what he’s planning to do. 

Your resounding screams are blood-curdling.

You feel the sharp blade of a knife dig into your skin making weird turns that deepen as the knife twists and turns in your back.

The blade only lifts for a second before it starts carving into you again, you can feel warm blood drip from your open wounds, he’s digging it in deep and you know it will eventually lead to a gnarly scar once it's healed.

Your screams of “Stop!” and “No!” bounce off the wall of your room as you sob into your arms as he continues carving into you. “Shut up and stop squirming or I’ll have to redo it.” He says gritting his teeth as he makes more jagged cuts into your back as you scream in pain. Once he’s finally finished he closes his blade and dips his finger into your pooling blood and writes on your back with it. You’re full-on sobbing after he’s done taking shallow breaths in and out, you can’t seem to stop hyperventilating and your vision begins to blur as you lose consciousness.

When you wake next it’s 4 in the morning and your back is burning at the open wounds and welts that litter your skin, you carefully lift yourself off of the cold, wooden ground grateful that no substances are leaking from your legs proving Sungwoo didn’t do anything to you while you were unconscious so you can make your way to the bathroom, you don’t bother putting on clothes but you do grab a fresh pair of pajamas so you can clean yourself of the dried blood and grim that covers your entire body. You slowly make your way to the bathroom, every step feeling like agony you feel the stinging of your cheek and the burn of the welts and cuts not to mention the headache that was caused by your hair being pulled. You finally reach the bathroom quickly flicking the lights on and locking the door behind you, you stare into the mirror seeing your hair is once again a tangled rat's nest and that your cheek is a burning red where the shape of a hand-print takes place. You eventually get the courage to turn around and see the damage on your back and you’re horrified at what you see.

In crooked, jagged letters the word ‘SUNGWOO’ Is etched into your skin.

Your eyes begin to tear up at the condition your back is in, not only do you have his name in horrific letters carved onto you but you are covered in cuts and welts left from the belt as well as a bruise in the shape of the buckle on you, you can see that written in your dried blood are the words ‘This slut belongs to’ as they lead down the carved out name of Sungwoo.

You begin to gag at the state of your back and quickly make your way to the toilet to throw up, your eyes sting with tears and you slump down to the ground and begin to cry shaking violently not being able to erase the image from your mind. You eventually manage to pull yourself off the floor and turn on the shower to a luke-warm temperature since you don’t want to irritate your skin even more than it is, you step into the shower and gently wash your body, scrubbing harder at areas that need it, you also wash your filthy, knotted hair and leave the conditioner in to soak while you focus on washing away the blood on you back being careful not to irritate it, you make sure not to use soap on that area and only wash it with water, you’ll make sure to take the time to disinfect in once you get out. 

After you’re clean you slip on your pajamas making sure they’re loose fitting so they won’t rub onto you, you quietly make your way to your room and pull out a first aid kit and some rubbing alcohol to help clean yourself up more, you slowly slip off your shirt and put some of the rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball before delicately swiping it over some of the smaller cuts before moving onto the words writing on you, it was difficult to maneuver your arms to your back but you managed to do a decent job at disinfecting yourself.

You decide to go out for a walk to try and keep your head straight so you slip on a hoodie and as quietly as you can you tiptoe your way out of the apartment, it’s still dark out and there are no stars out due to the cloudy night sky, you make your way to a playground near the apartment and stare blankly up at the sky, you feel void of any emotions and your head is finally clear of all your dreadful thoughts, there’s no more thoughts of Sungwoo, no more pain, no more wishing for everything to end, you feels as if you’re just a drift in the night sky. You’re sat on one of the swings, but you aren’t swinging through the air, no, you’re just sitting there the wind blowing through your hair occasionally causing you to rock a bit but for the most part you sit there staring at the sky. Everything is silent, you don’t hear anything, and even the sound of crickets chirping is absent. 

“You shouldn’t be out alone at night.”

You whip your head around behind you to where you hear a voice but no one is there.

“It’s dangerous for you to be out this late.”

You hear the voice once more but this time in front of you and you spin around once more only to see no one once again, “Who’s there!” You shout into the darkness but the only answer you receive is the whisper of wind blowing past you, “I’m losing my mind.” You whisper to yourself, but you swear you hear a deep chuckle coming from the playground so you turn your head to strain your eyes to see if anyone is there, in the shadows of the night is the silhouette of a man.

You stiffen up in your position and clench your hands ignoring the pinch of the swing chains as they dig into your palms uncomfortably, “Who are you?” You demand, “What do you want from me!” Once again the figure chuckles, “I give you good advice and this is the thanks I get?” The man asks in a teasing voice, and when he receives no answer he hums, “You can think of me as a friend, and as for what I want from you it's easy,” He says, “We want to help you.” The man states casually, you can see his silhouette’s shoulders shrug, “We?” You narrow your eyes at the man, you slowly stand up from the swing and begin to back up in case he tries to approach you but you end up backing into something making you go stiff once more, you quickly realize you’ve run into a person as their cold hands wrap around your shoulders.

“That's right, we only want to help.” 

The person behind you whispers into your ear, his voice is deep and has an accent to it, the heat of their breath on the shell of your ear making you shiver. 

You keep your eyes on the person by the playground when you see 6 more figures manifest from out of the shadows.

“I don’t know what you mean by helping me, but I don’t want your help, please leave me alone..” You choke out praying they don’t try to do anything to you.

“Don’t worry we won’t hurt you or try anything funny.” A different voice speaks up and you can only assume it’s the figure on the top of the playground's roof, “H-how do I know I can trust you not to do anything?” You stutter in response, The figure behind you hums “I suppose you can’t, but we want to help you with getting rid of that pesky parasite.” You flinch as his deep voice penetrates your ears “P-parasite? What are you talking about?” You whimper out, 

“I think you know what we’re talking about.” 

One of the shadows speaks up.

“You reek of the smell of blood, and you look terrified.” Another voice speaks up, “I smell like what?” You ask confused, but the group ignores your question “Not to mention you’ve got bruises all over and you look tired but not the sleep-deprived kind of tired, your face is sunken in and you look like you cry a lot.” but this observation makes you even more confused, “How do you know about my bruises?” You breathe out, “We can see the hand-shaped ones across your throat, you’re clearly a victim of such a nasty parasite.” The man behind you speaks up, and out of reflex, you move your hand up to brush your fingers over the dark bruise “A-are you talking about Sungwoo?” You whisper out, You see their silhouettes nod.

“We can help you if you’d like. We can kill Park Sungwoo.”

_________________________________________

<---Prev Master List Next---->

Please reblog and like if you enjoyed!

[lisacameron99]

Second (JJ x reader) (outer banks)

warning: angst, fighting, fluff, fluffy ending, feelings of insecurity, nakedness but no sex, illusions to sex

“I’m late, I know I’m late,” JJ said, rushing into the house. You stayed silent. There wasn’t much to say. “You’re soaked… did you walk?”

“Yeah, JJ. I didn’t want to stay on The Cut all night.” You deadpanned.

“Why didn’t you call somebody?”

“I did JJ! I called you! Pope! Kie! Johnny! Even Sarah. But nobody answered. Too busy helping John B find dad!”

“… Y/N…” JJ said, guilt swimming in his eyes.

“I mean, God, JJ. I don’t think I asked a lot when I asked you to pick me up.” JJ swallowed hard. He knew he fucked up. He knew he did. But they were so close on finding Big John, “And you don’t have anything to say because you know I’m right.” There was a beat of silence. “I’m going to shower. You should go back to Johnny, because he clearly needs you more than you think I need you.”

“Babe,” JJ ran a hand through his hair and over his jaw.

“Just - just - don’t.” You were growing more frustrated. “I’m going to take a shower.” You dragged yourself to the bathroom, piling you clothes by the sink. Stepping into the shower, you had it on the hottest setting your body could handle. The water pressure wasn’t the best, but you loved your little shower. Tears ran down your face, but you knew JJ wasn't going to be able to tell the difference between the tears and the water when it was on your face.

You prolonged your shower, longer than you normally would have, just so you could think everything through. Johnny was just going to have to suck it up and pay the water bill. JJ was sitting on the toilet, fiddling with his hat. He just wanting to be near you. You knew he did it as much for himself as he did you. You both thrived on both quality time and physical touch.

He handed you your towel when you opened the old curtain. “Thanks,” you muttered, squeezing your hair out and watching the drops hit the floor. You wrapped the towel around your body, drying yourself off.

You guys both made your way to the room you shared, and JJ threw an old shirt of his at you. Because you weren’t paying attention, it hit you smack in the face and fell on the floor. You stared at it before looking back to JJ. Your e/c met his blue and you both burst into laughter. JJ snagged it off the ground and pulled it over your head. A smile graced both of your faces as your eyes met.

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Hey.” He returned the gesture. You blinked, still keeping your eyes on his blue ones. After a few beats, he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

You shrugged, trying not to think about the stinging feeling in your chest. "It's fine." You said shortly.

"It's not." JJ said, rubbing your arms. "It's not fine. I told you I'd be there and I wasn't. I'm sorry."

"Well, it's done and over with now." You shrugged again before sitting on the bed. "No sense in dwelling on it."

"You think John B matters more than you do. And that's just not true." JJ responded. "I love John B, he's my brother. Always has been, always will be. But you matter to me. I love you. And I'm sorry that I made you feel as though you are less than him."

Tears welded up in your eyes. "I'm just very tired of this happening. JJ, I literally called you five times. I called Kie twice, Sarah twice, Pope twice, and Johnny three times and none of you answered. I mean, I work all the time because I have to keep groceries in the house, and the mortgage and the electricity bills paid for. Johnny takes care of the water and gas and what not, and you always, always, always do what you can, but I'm tired of being made second best just because I'm keeping us afloat."

"I'm sorry." JJ whispered, beginning to pace around the room. "I'm so so sorry." JJ sighed, mad at himself for making you feel low about yourself. "I love you, Y/N. More than I've ever loved anybody. I'm sorry that I'm bad at showing it, and I'm really sorry that I left you at The Cut today."

"I love you too, JJ. But we need to be better at being there for each other when we commit to each other." JJ pulled you to your feet and hugged you too him. Face planted against his shoulder, you wrapped your arms tightly around his waist. He threaded one hand through your hair and the other around your shoulders. You stood there hugging each other tightly for a few moments before words came to JJ.

"You don't need to be better at it, you already are great at it. I need to be better. And I will be."

You nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Let's go to bed, yeah?" JJ asked you, gesturing to the bed.

You nodded, flopping on the bed. JJ went to go on his side of the bed, but you dragged him to be on top of you.

When his eyes glanced up at you, you gave him a soft smile. "Hi."

"Hi yourself." He placed his mouth on yours and kissed you deeply. You both pressed into each other, trying to feel as much of each other as possible. Your hands ran through his hair, clutching tightly while his rans down your sides and planted themselves on your hips.

You finally pulled yourself away from JJ, panting as he kissed down your neck. What a perfect way to end the night, you thought to yourself, as JJ kissed further down. Make up sex was so underrated.

End.

lmk if you all want a part two!

[sadlittleratboy]

I think Deku and Shigaraki should have had to share a body. It would be hilarious, and also like...show Deku's real dedication. He stops Shigaraki, but wait! Fuck! Shigaraki is dying! But of course Shigaraki has One for All so if he just gave it back Izuku could keep him close so THEY could be a hero for the villains.

Then you have Izuku translating for Tomura but trying to say it nicer lol. Also he would get decay so that would be cool (and then decay could level up and have the healing side like Overhaul's quirk and fix the league).

Then sometimes every now and then Shigaraki could get fed up and take over to say something spiteful and quippy, and maybe we see Deku adopt Tomura's bitch face with kisses eyes and all. That would have been fun.

Instead we got this fucking nightmare.

[d8tl55c]

oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it

as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)

first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))

a few fav scenes

emotional support cwab

they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.

papery critter.

even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)

and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3

i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.

so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and

[

several hours later ...

]

oh

oh man

it's a little bigger than i expected

<next>

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

[bigskydreaming]

The thing that kills me about the Star Wars prequel trilogy and why I will die on my hill that my problem is not that Star Wars is a tragedy, its that its a badly written tragedy, is that Anakin Skywalker was at his closest to being a good Jedi when he was ten years old.

[maliciousalice]

Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.

[liquidstar]

after a long pause i finally finished my newest oc batch ^_^ this time for owl feather: the scholar's guild. the members are more or less different types of academics, or just nerds, with their own different niches. as usual, more specific info+closeups under the cut <3

Name: Mercury

Name Origin: The planet named after the messenger god

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 28

Guild rank: Guidmaster

Weapon: Caduceus

Ethos (Power): Aileron (Enhanced speed and levitation)

Flaw power is based on: Her evasiveness- Though her power has evolved (the levitation) once she became guildmaster as she became a pillar for her guild, and successor to the former guildmaster.

Notes: I can be your angle... or yuor devil

Name: Keid

Name Origin: A star whose name means eggshels

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 19

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Chicken sickles

Ethos (Power): Computative prognostication (He can calculate the outcome of events in his own head, but he can’t see outcomes beyond the one he calculated)

Flaw power is based on: His overly cautious and ruminative habits, though he tries to play it off like he's way more chill and not constantly existentially overthinking

Notes: But which came first...?

Name: Alasia

Name Origin: A star whose name references Idalion Tablet, one of the oldest known contracts

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 15

Guild rank: 2 star

Weapon: Shovel

Ethos (Power): Erudition (Psychometry- The ability to read the past of any object by touch)

Flaw power is based on: Her extreme curiosity, while her inquisitiveness on it's own can be admirable she can often get obsessive about it.

Notes: She's an archeologist <3

Name: Dimidium

Name Origin: Exoplanet whose name means "half"

Pronouns: He/She

Age: 22

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Double-ended flail

Ethos (Power): Vice-versa (Healing and reverse healing)

Flaw power is based on: His simultaneous obsequiousness and brashness- Two extremes that she fluctuates between in a way that's both unpredictable and unhealthy.

Notes: Generally stoic either way so it's hard to tell...

Name: Navi

Name Origin: Informal name for γ Cassiopeiae- A navigation point for Apollo 1

Pronouns: He/they

Age: 19

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Arm

Ethos (Power): Kefi (Energy direction- He can channel his energy into powerful attacks into his weapon of choice, which they designed to be their own arm)

Flaw power is based on: Their over-zealous nature. Though passion is a good thing, their ferventness can absolutely make him lose track of himself.

Notes: A weaponsmith who’s figuring out more technological approaches

Name: Talitha

Name Origin: A star system, whose name means "Spring"

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 13

Guild rank: 1 star

Weapon: Plastic wand

Ethos (Power): Metamorphosis (Magical girl transformation. She can shoot beams out of her wand now.)

Flaw power is based on: Her extreme tendency for escapism, especially in idolizing fantasy.

Notes: She's a magical girl 💖💖💖

Name: Misam

Name Origin: A star whose name means "wrist"

Pronouns: They/them

Age: 28

Guild rank: 5 star

Weapon: Wrist blade

Ethos (Power): Rigor (Enhanced precision)

Flaw power is based on: Their surprisingly to-the-point, often cold-blooded nature.

Notes: Nerds can be cool too, guys.

Name: Perwana

Name Origin: An exoplanet whose name means moth

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 27

Guild rank: 5 star

Weapon: Lantern

Ethos (Power): Callous luminance (Physically palpable hard light, created from her lantern)

Flaw power is based on: Her tenancy to place the burden of guidance onto herself- Literally a guiding light for others. Mostly in regards to erudition, the symbolic connection between illumination and knowledge. She wants to illuminate everyone. But this can be at the cost of herself.

Notes: These are her summer clothes.

[bambeebirdie]

Alright so I just finished Earthspark and boy fucking howdy do I have opinions, but I’m not talking about those right now because I’m tired and the ending broke me in such a way I no longer care about anything.

What I would like to say though is I think Tanatulas should have been replaced with Shockwave in that on episode he had with Nightshade. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Tanatulas. He was literally so good, I loved his designs and his vibes and the only bad thing about him is that he never said his pronouns back. But really think about it. He didn’t have to be there. Earthspark spends too much time with the Maltos to really develop anyone so the more characters you add the more everything struggles.

Tanatulas showed up for one episode, he’s not even in the finale. Shockwave was there though and vaguely important, but it doesn’t make sense for him to just suddenly be okay with the Maltos. Unless he took Tanatulas role. Then his sudden willingness to help them would have made so much more sense. It also wouldn’t have been a very hard change, just as a whole, because neither Tanatulas or Shockwave are that important.

Just give Nightshade a line about how they should save Shockwave because they trust him and well everyone else acts the same.

Shockwave even fills a similar general role as Tanatulas being a weird scientist who care more about their science than the war. So it really wouldn’t be a hard switch and would make Shockwave make more sense. If you want to go further too Shockwave doesn’t even have a normal vehicle mode so he really could have given similar lines about alt modes to Nightshade.

Obviously Shockwave actual introduction episode would be different or maybe he’d just get replaced entirely but I really don’t think any of those changes would be too hard. Because again, he’s just not important enough for any changes to his character to be hard.

Tanatulas in Earthspark doesn’t validate his existence much as is. I really do love him, but he’s replaceable and just clutters an already poorly handled cast. While I think it would be cool if he was just more important they clearly didn’t want that by not even giving him a finale shot. So I do think just swapping his episode with Shockwave (and whatever other alterations are needed to make that perfect) fixes the problem with having too many underdeveloped characters since it removes one character and in the process developes another.

[designernishiki]

as much as a i understand and respect ace kiryu truthers, i really feel like kiryu is the type to really take the idea to heart that sex is something vulnerable and meaningful and thus reserved for someone completely trusted and special to him– someone who feels right. after years and years he’s still never legitimately voluntarily slept with someone, always tries to turn women away or is at least apathetic when they try to get physical with him, never feels that deep and specific bond with a woman– nothing compared to some of his bonds with other men throughout his life. and maybe, hopefully, one day it’ll hit him that there’s a pretty big, glaring reason why no women have ever felt “right” to him.

[themyscirah]

Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute