#because sometimes people are just different ^_^ but that doesnt make u any less special or important

[ellipse-society]

whats ur job like? is it tough/hard (especially as someone who also has mental health issues, but like.... who doesnt XD)? what drew u to psychology/working in a clinic? is a psych bachelers worth it in ur opinion? (or at least worth witnessing the annoying ppl u might meet in college...) what did u do for ur bachelers degree? :-D

(my eyesight is kinda blurry rn sorry if any of these r wrong/feel free to skip or avoid any of these at all :'D i hope u have a good day!!!)

Well our job is client centered so each day can vary drastically as far as how hard it is. Some days five clients are in crisis simultaneously and others we only have maybe one or two of our easiest clients scheduled. Though the work schedule is also flexible which is a perk. They basically do not care when you are there as long as you have 40 hours by the end of the week. When talking to clients we(as in everyone at the company) basically just refers to ourselves as caseworkers(we have a fancier title but it seems to only be used by our company so we would prefer not to share it publicly) even though most at the company don't see that as 100% accurate it's just the easiest way to describe it. It isn't the perfect job but we get to work in a field we enjoy and get to make a difference in people's lives so it is fulfilling for us. Basically the job is working with lower income people with mental disabilities(almost always SUD but commonly also GAD, MDD, PTSD, and Schizophrenia/schizoeffective with a few other disorders here and there on a less frequent basis) and providing them with coping skills and access to resources in the community for basic needs like food, housing, work, access to medication, ect. Our goal is to help the client improve enough that they can be independent and graduate from services. We also regularly meet clients out in the community instead of at the clinic so a lot of driving is also involved which is sometimes good sometimes annoying depending on the area of town.

I don't think our mental health has really negatively effected us at our job. It has been a jumping off point for building rapport more than once though so it may be more of a positive. We have had more than one client relieved that we are autistic because either they have the disorder or know someone with the disorder and like that there is a level of understanding there.

I mean we were drawn to psychology due to our own mental health struggles and those of our family(also maybe a bit of autistic special interest lol). We have always wanted a job where we can help others and we were basically unprofessional councilors for our family and friends long before we had our psychology degree. It is just something we naturally do. We also switched majors in college(from secondary education theater and speech) and our general psychology teacher was one of our favorites. She made the topic interesting. When we were switching majors we took a bunch of classes in different fields we were interested in for a semester and psychology was the one that stood out again. We did a project on parenting styles in that class that made us realize a lot about our childhood and better come to terms with it.

I mean whether or not a psych bachelor's is worth it is based on what you want to do. There are many psychology jobs that are gatekept behind graduate school so you may not be able to get the perfect job with just a bachelor's. That being said most fields are looking for someone educated in psychology. It can definitely look better on an application than some other degrees as far as applying for jobs not directly related to the field. We had to go to one of our schools job fairs once(in a gym so sensory overload to the max) and almost every table called us over due to us majoring in psychology while we were avoiding as many people as possible while they were not doing that for people from some other majors that were more active about looking. It is basically a desirable major for many employers but getting an actual psychology focused job that accepts just a bachelor's may be hard to find.

We aren't sure what you mean by what we did for our bachelor's degree so if you want to send in another ask about that if we answer it in a way you didn't intend it to be answered feel free. Our school was very research based as far as how it taught psychology. Basically junior and senior year every student was required to run one study(junior year as a group and senior year solo) and a lot of general psych classes required study participation and other classes often provided extra credit so that people could get their participants. The solo one we did senior year was full of technical difficulties and the results would never be applied anywhere by any logical person so we don't tend to talk about that one but the one we did junior year we loved and it got us second place in our category when we presented it at our schools recheach symposium(and we were in the same category as the person who won best overall). Basically we were looking at how word bolding and amount of time with a piece of text affected memory. We found that(obviously) the more time someone had with the text the better it was remembered but the cool thing we found was that while if a word relevant to the memory quiz was bolded it improved performance there was no significant difference between the control and those that had irrelevant/distractor words bolded. Basically even if you were to bold the wrong words you aren't hindering ones retention so bolding words could only have a positive not a negative effect per our results. A lot of teachers were really interested in our results on that one and we are proud of it. Though not the most proud of our research paper on it because English has always been where we struggle most lol.

Oh and thank you for the questions. Hope you have a good day too.

[alvie-pines]

Ok so I mean no disrespect, I'm genuinely curious.

What is the draw of objectium? (I can't spell)

I'm questioning if I'm into that, and I'm not really sure what it means (other than like the textbook definition)

Of course I know it's different for everyone but I'd love to have your insight

the draw? thats a good question....

for me, im just attracted to objects (mainly machines) in the same way im attracted to women. i love curves and breasts. i love wires and hydraulics. like if u think the woman on the right is just as pretty as the woman on the left

for me, objectum is less a kink and more a sexuality. but for some people is it more a kink (you might also want to look into objectophilia!)

i find the curve of a lamborghini's chassis attractive. the power and strength in a large hydraulics system is sexy. an old-fashioned semi truck is handsome. a PC is cute. (or sexy, if it has a glass side... letting you see all up inside them...)

i also, am a bit like a bird. bright colors woo me. humans only come in varying shades of black, brown, tan, and peach. which are lovely, but sometimes i need a gorgeous warm yellow, or a smooth deep blue.

i also like the variety among inanimate objects. what makes each of them purr with delight? what special little traits does each have? nothing will ever be a VHS to me. i love their little clicks and clacks, the sounds they make when rewinding. a computer's fans spin hotter when they're thinking too hard. even more specific than types of objects, each model of computer has their own specific curve, size, weight. (and so on with other types of objects.)

and then, of course, i have to talk about my autism & hyper-empathy. objectum is a common sexuality among autistic people, which is probably linked to our hyper-empathy and tendency to anthropomorphize inanimate objects. not anthro like a furry; anthro like giving human emotions and personality traits to objects. like when your plushie falls off the bed and you feel bad because you dont want them to think you dont love them. except some of us kind of take it to the next level, and i think thats where objectum becomes more common among us. even with objects im not attracted to, i have a tendency to interpret them as having personalities, genders, feelings, etc. sometimes i interpret them as having specific feelings towards me. like my grandpa's car, which im intimidated by, and i feel like she doesnt like me very much. this is probably because she's an expensive sports car. sports cars are scary.

anyways--you can be objectum without being autistic, its just more common among us!

let me know if you have any more questions. i tried to be thorough, but ive never had to explain objectum before ^^

[cathalbravecog]

i am on my hands and knees begging.. how do u get into winstons boss area ive seen like 3 ppl clip back there and i have no idea how theyre doing it HGFBSDJGFD

you need to have evil eldritch being powers like i do which comes naturally from being a creature, sorry pal....

Ok, in ALL SERIOUSNESS!!

You're gonna want to get an auto-clicker and set the click interval to like 80 miliseconds (This is ok as long as it doesn't actually exploit the game or hack it, yknow? doesnt mess with main gameplay. tool on a similar lane as multitoon controller)

Set the place where it clicks to be on the group button

The time of day is important too, because if there isn't any groups, it's gonna bug out less. The more groups the buggier it will be - more likely to clip out

You can also just... Click it yourself, but you'll just injure your hand, don't do it. But you can still try it!

Find, what I like to call, a "sus corner", you can find them by checking with just your normal clicks and the group button while running into them - does your screen start jumping? good! that's a sus corner. if you just slide over and there's no screen jumping, then try a different spot. some spots you can clip out almost instantly in and some are round and you can't do much there.

!!!!! remember, don't do this if you suffer from epilepsy because OH BOY IT GETS REALLY WILD SOMETIMES.

and just... keep running into the wall until you clip out - move left to right to adjust your position slightly to see if you can find a sliiightly better spot. and yeah if you're in a good spot and keep this up eventually in some places you can clip out.

doesnt work everywhere, tho. there's also a way to make yourself go up and down, but it requires two people and stairs.

for THIS specific room you want to do it here. blue spots mean dont go there unless you wanna clip inside of the cells specifically.

have fun with your out of bounds chaos. i have taught you forbidden knowledge. (i legit usually don't tell ppl unless they're friends and keep it keep it as like an oOOooh mystical thing. i mean its a friend who taught me to do this as well. i just like voids in video games its fun to see whats out there, different perspectives.... or just chill there yknow.)

this room is special bc - the winston fight is obviously in a different instance of the room. the walk in animation doesnt even show the tunnel. from different povs you cant even see inside the tunnel - and yet the whole fight room is there and you can walk in there because it has full collision.

[kavehpilled]

ARE YOU GOOD??? YOU'RE LIKE RBING ALL MY STUFF

IM LOVING U SHUT UR PIEHOLE

[mbti-enemies]

Tension between

I'm gonna ask her out. Straight up making a move. The rest is up to her..

and -

My fear of rejection/ abandonment and fear of losing soul-connecting, once-in-a-lifetime friendship bond w her (the fact tht she doesnt like to be hugged but she lets me sometimes)

Is driving me crazy :")

-infj

(U dun necessarily need to ans this ask but yr intj x infj posts give me so damn butterflies, I adore them so much and end up asking here)

Keep being awesome together, YOU DUO!

(this is from infj <3, intj is in italics

aaah firstly, TY, we are quite awesome together aren't we >< damn right we are

in hindsight intj says you may have just wanted headcanons- not advice but somehow I thought this was an irl situ but there'll be some headcanons around too

I'm gonna assume this is a real life situation and NOT a request for head-canons especially considering you haven't explicitly told us your girl's mbti bshbsh- but I'll assume a little that she's an intj considering the last part and considering intjs dont tend to like hugs. this one over here doesn't (although unless I'm wrong that is liable to change with The Person)

I speak as someone who always confesses feelings to the person I fall for (so long as it isn't inappropriate and we know each other well). The reasons are simple- you either tell them, they like you back, and finally f i n a l l y you can kiss them. or, they don't like you back, but you now have one less secret to keep from them, you've given them the most honest of all compliments and they'll appreciate it, and hopefully it'll bring you closer together.

I know, it's scary, especially if you genuinely think you'd ruin the bond you have. I do genuinely think that this shouldn't ruin the bond- a good friend will stick by you (as a terrible enemy did too). I know it's not that simple though, people are different and have different comfort levels. You can always test the waters, ask her how she'd react if a friend had a crush on her? Also intjs can sometimes find it bit hard to really indulge their feelings or give into them enough to acc make a move - so who knows maybe she'll realise the feelings between you guys aren't j platonic if you make the move first , or maybe after you say something the walls she might've put up regarding her and you might come crashing down (cause intjs can be very good at ignoring their feelings tbh)

But really unless she says otherwise, please know that because your connection is truly strong (and soul-connecting!!) she'll stick by you. intjs- generally, wouldn't overreact and leave you. shes chosen to be close to you, and this shouldn't change that. also the fact that she doesn't really like hugging but still lets you just goes to show how much you mean to her deep down , it will take a lot more for a one sided show of feelings to break your bond - cause to her you must be pretty special if she's cool w hugging y o u. So all in all - it doesn't seem like you have much to lose by making a move. Worst-case scenario going for it might make things a lil awkward between you two for a bit but it seems like you have quite a strong relationship - one that could survive any stormy seas (and like infj said a good intj friend wouldn't leave you for something like this) and to not make a move would be to lose the chance of something even greater than this once-in-a lifetime bond , and thats something thats worth a hell of a lot

do have a quick think about her not liking hugging- if it's contact in general, is she OK with any relationship? would you be okay in a relationship where the other person doesn't want too much contact? if it's mainly just hugging she has an issue with- then it's pretty damn cute she's good with you hugging her but do keep in mind that if you guys do get in a relationship, this no hugging thing might lessen down a bit cause she may be more comfortable expressing her feeling through touch with you then

BUT OVERALL I SAY GO FOR IT THOUGH... ASK HER OUT JUST DO IT DO IT DO IT!!! MAKE A MOVE! intj agrees to GO FOR IT !!! but does suggest you to think about h o w you're gonna make a move- do it in a way that does justice to ur feelings but also would allow intj to feel comfortable enough to open up and give you a real answer) and do it knowing it's okay if she says no. a fear of rejection is NOT a reason to not go for it- it's simply a fear, not a suffering of the consequences. go for it knowing it's okay if she says no, because you think she'll be there anyways. and you just h a v e to try- because isn't this worth it?

also, keep us updated!! if you ask her out or not, what her mbti is, or absolutely anything else. sending lots of luck and love!

[ainti-pretty]

Hi!

What do you think about Iorveth in realationship? And can you write differences (if you think they will be), if his "love" is human or elf.

yeah! i can!

as a multishipper (heehee) ill just write for all of them bc i imagine each take place during VERY different times in his life. it also describes the relationship and that dynamic so yea. i hope this is what u wanted. oops

its also a bit long!! so there is a cut

tw: (all are mentioned and its not too in deth but be careful) death, trauma, drinking

first, id like to start of with iorveth as a youngster:

-he was probably rlly fucking hot as teen/young adult before he really got involved in the scoia'tael and got the scar and probably. slept around a lot. he probably wasnt big on commitment as he was young and maybe was in a few long(ish) term relationships but he mostly just chilled until his parents were killed by humans and he got his scar

next, onto beginnings of scoia'tael years/cedric:

-i think that iorveth and cedric joined together as friends but gradually grew closer

-but, after he got the scar i think it fucked up his self esteem so he was a lot less open with his affections

-the trauma of losing his parents and being there was. in short. not good.

-i feel like he definately got incredibly invested in the scoia'tael during this time because it and cedric were all he had

-and he dearly loved cedric, and although he had lost a ton of his self esteem, he found strength in cedric and they were a power couple for a few decades. the slept together, they cuddled, they held hands whenever they had the chance, and they truly truly loved each other very much

-until cedrics health/mental health got worse and they broke up (which broke both their hearts), and iorveth blamed himself when cedric left the scoia'tael.

moving onto ciaran:

-ciaran (as per my previous hc on him) lost his parents as a teen and was wandering around trying to get revenge on humans whenever he could for years before iorveth met him.

-naturally, iorveth fell hard.

-but, after cedric left he decided to bottle it up and ignore bc he didnt want to ""ruin"" anyone else again by being too invested in the scoia'tael.

-unfortunately for iorveth, ciaran also fell in love with him, and after years of waiting when hes second in command, ciaran confessed

-iorveth flipped the fuck out because he was like. no. that cant be possible! im unlovable and i hurt people and im just going to ruin him!

-this is partially because of what happened with cedric, and partially because ciaran (although CERTAINLY an adult), is definately younger, and iorveth thinks he deserves better than him

-he knows what hes done for the scoia'tael and knows hes not a good person, and hopes that he can scare ciaran into leaving.

-it doesnt work. and they both end up crying.

-once they are together though, there is a definate change in their relationship vibe from iorveth and cedrics. they certainly sleep together and cuddle and do all the relationship things that cedric and iorveth did, but iorveth is clearly holding something back

-they decide that while they both love each other dearly, they cannot be in a health/stable relationship with just each other because its clear that iorveth is in no way able to properly be in a relationship at that moment

-they decide to open up the relationship and thats where vernon roche comes in

yeah. vernon roche. this is where iorveth sorta has a. oh fuck its a human moment.

-as you all know, roche was the leader of the scoia'tael in flotsams greatest enemy, the blue stripes, a special forces commando designed to stop the scoia'tael.

-after having a WHOLE enemies to lovers situation, they find themselves in a situation.

-they both love each other. and they are both two war criminals who FINALLY end on the same side after years of fighting (lets just say iorveth joined for the kaer morhen fight against the wild hunt) and it seems like everything is fine

-its not.

-first of all, they both have lots and lots of issues other than that they are both war criminals:

1. iorveth has never dated a human before, let alone a man he nearly killed and has nearly killed him on many occasions.

2. iorveth feels like hes betraying the ideals of the scoia'tael along with his parents for dating a human, and this feeling hits even moreso bc its roche.

3. iorveth has loads and loads of attachment issues, and even though he and ciaran still have their thing going on (that roche is aware of and understands), he still really hasnt been in any recent relationships that havent ended in someone leaving

4. iorveth really doesnt quite understand human customs other than what he can tell from spying. he spends lots of time in the woods and knows far more about trade routes to and from flotsam than he really knows of human culture. its almost embarassing.

5. iorveth sometimes gets worried its all a ploy to get roche to kill him and that theres plans to hurt the former scoia'tael due to anti-elf racism

moving onto roches issues, which while there are less of, they dont help:

1. as a child of a sex worker and single mother, roche found himself also getting involved in sex work, which gave him consent issues bc he really did have a choice in the matter bc it was do the job or starve.

2. hes a half elf but right before he was drafted into the army he cut the tips of his ears off to make him look more human. this makes it hard for him to connect w iorveth bc he really doesnt know elf customs, but doing human customs just never felt right

3. he also has some issues from his previous relationship w foltest, which was Not Even slightly healthy, and is still trying to cope w the realization that it was worse than he thought

all of this results in a lot of miscommunication, especially because iorveth (for a long time DURING the relationship) didnt know roche was half-elf and wanted to do all the elven traditions he hadnt been able to join. they dont know what the other wants, and they dont know what the other needs because once again. issues galore. iorveth also probably would be more able to get into fights than any other relationships (because unlike ciaran or cedric, roche is abrasive) which means that there would be a lot of hurt at the beginning of it.

HOWEVER, after they actually talk, and roche is like. hey im half elf, and more than willing to do things the traditional elven way (which iorveth is far more familiar and comfortable with), they sorta get into a routine of things.

and it begins to be a secure and steady and healthy relationship.

tdlr: iorveth has shitty self worth, trust issues and struggles with communication sometimes so things get muddled but when he falls, he falls hard. but the relationships hes in are very different depending on who it is. hes more comfortable with other nonhumans, but even before knowing roche is half-elf, he would give his life for them.

[plaguedoctormemes]

Hey do u have any advice abt doing shots when ur afraid of needles? Ive been wanting to start T for a while now but one of the big mental hurdles ive got is that im terrified of needles and idk if I'd be able to do it on my own... it's bad enough that I procrastinate on making the drs appts I need to... most of my problem is i dont wanna SEE the needle go in, the idea of shots doesnt bug me unless I see it break the skin

I don’t specifically have a fear of needles, but I have lots of suggestions for you! Hopefully this can help anyone else who is curious, too. THIS WILL BE LONG BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE VERY DESCRIPTIVE, and honestly I wish I had a resource like this before I started taking T.

When you get your testosterone for the first shot they will definitely show and instruct you how to do it on your own. You should ask any questions or suggestions from your doctor first, cus they might have some valuable tips.

FIRST: if i have a day where I’m feeling particularly anxious, i ask someone I trust. I just answered an ask where I discuss this; i usually ask my stepdad or my friend. If you know someone else that takes T you can ask them too. You should do this only when your anxiety around it is particularly bad because you dont want to mentally associate taking shots with a lot of anxiety! You want it to be a neutral or positive routine experience- as easy as brushing your teeth!

Just know that the worst part is just getting it through your skin, and then its golden. If you’re using the proper size needle, it shouldnt hurt more than just a tiny pinch. That’s something I HAVE to tell myself every time i put the tip to my skin. Many people say to go fast and get it over with, but I’m much more comfortable taking it slow. Some places will hurt more than others so if you press and it hurts and scares you, shift the needle to a different area and try again. Sometimes i feel a pinch no matter what, and sometimes it slips right through! Ask your doctor about different shot-taking techniques, such as pinching your skin on the injection site to help it hurt less. My doctor recommends that I don’t do that because I have such little body mass, but your doctor may allow you to.

Now here are some things I like to do sometimes when taking my shot, before and during:

I chew gum. I get fidgety when i get a little nervous, so chewing gum while doing it helps me stay super steady when I need to.

Take a deep breath and stretch beforehand. Relax your body!

Watch/listen to something mildly entertaining. It takes the weight off the situation if I watch something that is interesting, fun or otherwise calming. Safiya Nygaard or Bernadette Banner on youtube is often my go-to shot taking channels. I start the video and line up my shot, look away as I press it in and feel the pinch, and I’ll check it a couple times as I push through and inject. DONT watch something that is too funny though because I almost poked my stomach once laughing my ass off LMAO.

Visualize how much happier and comfortable you will feel knowing the changes it will do to you. My girlfriend was really helpful in pumping me up for my shot, and would talk to me through it. Having a partner or a friend talk to you and encourage you, telling you how handsome or androgynous and happier you’ll feel taking it can help a lot. Sometimes I forced myself through it because I want broader shoulders and a sharper jawline, damn it!!!

Reward yourself. It’s nice to give yourself something small or do something special for yourself that you reserve ONLY for when you take your shots! Maybe a piece of your favorite candy, or you can treat yourself to something else. A little pinch is worth it for a mango Hi Chew, imo.

[botanyshitposts]

hey i remember you saying that you took ap bio a while ago? and i just wanted to ask if you had any tips or resources for that class, because it's already march and my teacher still hasn't covered a lot of content and i really wanna learn about biology and do well on the test

and now for a post on 

𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁   𝒷𝒾𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁   𝓉𝑜𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓈

a lot of AP biology is just….repeating over and over again some very core stuff. this is the same stuff that, if u go to college for biology, you will hear over and over again in all your specialized classes so you can use that base knowledge to build off of. learning some of these things in AP bio in high school suddenly made me understand what the fuck i was reading about in random botany papers on the internet.

here is a list of some of these things that i can think of right off the top of my head, followed by a no-means-comprehensive brief description 

-cellular respiration: 1. food bits enter the cell. 2. food bits go through some processing right outside the mitochondria. 3. Special, Refined Food Bits™ are invited into the mitochondria, where they are processed a little more before their electrons are ripped from them and shoved over like….u know those old timey flour mills powered by the big water wheel things?? the electrons are the water going over the big water wheel thing, the old timey mill is this one protein embedded in the inner wiggly parts of the mitochondria, and the flour is a chemical the rest of the organism can use as energy. so thats that on that

-photosynthesis: 1. there are a few kinds of photosynthesis that all argue over how one should get water into the actual photosynthesis chemical reaction. different kinds of plants sometimes use different kinds of photosynthesis. 2. it happens in chloroplasts, which are green because they can absorb red and blue light but can’t absorb green light and therefore reflect all that shit out and we see green. 3. there are a couple proteins that do the actual capturing of light (they don’t actually capture the light itself despite this wording you hear; the light just excites some electrons from water, and those get passed around. long story) that are cool as fuck that you should look at. 4. there are ‘light’ reactions and ‘dark’ reactions. light reactions turn sun energy into high-energy molecules, dark reactions are the plant taking those high-energy molecules and using them to turn CO2 into usable sugars it can send around the plant and digest when needed (by digesting them as the food bits mentioned in cellular respiration)

-the so-called ‘central dogma of biology’: this is super important. like every advanced biology class ive taken in college has drilled this with us. basically, it’s the process DNA takes to make itself into actual proteins that get expressed in an organism. the steps are: 

1. start with DNA. DNA is replicated using the enzyme DNA polymerase. the process of DNA replication is called…well, DNA replication. 

2. a little portion of relevant DNA is copied into a little strip of RNA, which is single stranded and can be safely moved out of the nucleus into the cell (this is because if u were to actually export the raw ass DNA into the cell, if something fucked it up it would literally fuck up the entire DNA strand and that would be really, really bad). it does this using the enzyme RNA polymerase. this process is called transcription (as in like, you transcribe something you hear someone say by copying it down. this sounds obvious but its really easy to get this step and the next step mixed up)

3. after the RNA gets processed into mRNA (which is just an edited version with extra shit on the ends to keep it from getting nerfed upon contact with the outside world), it gets exported into the cell and imported into an organelle called a Ribosome, which reads the mRNA and attaches amino acids to a chain of amino acids in the order that it the mRNA says to (this is one of those things that seems like…impossible for something to do just with chemistry, but once u learn about it ur like ‘ooohhh thats how it does that’). the ribosome then releases the chain once it hits a point on the mRNA strand that tells it that the chain is complete. once the chain of amino acids is like, out there floating around, it’s own chemistry (and sometimes other enzymes and stuff) causes it to fold into an actual protein, which can like…actually do stuff and things. this is process is called translation, as in, you translate something from one language to another. 

-speaking of cells, cell stuff: 1. most cells go through cycles of life towards the goal of dividing from one cell into two cells. the process goes G1, S, G2, M  (unless you’re a cell that isn’t supposed to divide once u reach maturity, like a neuron, in which case u exist in a state called G0). before one phase, the cell checks itself to make sure that everything is in place and ready to go to the next stage. if something is wrong in this checking process, it can be a physical manifestation of cancer, the uncontrolled and unregulated growth of cells. 2. the M phase- Mitosis- has a whole ass process all of it’s own that’s super important that i wont go into here. 3. the creation of genetically recombined cells (reproduction) undergoes the process of Meiosis (different from mitosis!!! idk why they named these so similarly!!!! oh my god!!!!). this is….kind of like mitosis, but most definitely not mitosis. do not let a question on a test fool u when it asks u if its the same thing. it’ wild process that i can 100% guarantee you’ll get tested on at some point in ur biological career and i want to let u know right off the bat that it took me learning this three (3) separate times in three (3) separate classes to actually understand it bc that shit is confusing as fuck so. just lettin u know right off the bat there 4. cells are full of smaller compartmentalized organ things called organelles that do stuff and things, the most important being the nucleus, which holds the DNA (unless it’s a bacteria. bacteria DO NOT have nuclei and their DNA literally just floats in there, whole ass out in a kind of….weird special region called the nucleoid. this is another thing that teachers love to ask on tests). 

-evolution: 1. evolution is descent with modification. if a mouse gets its tail cut off, then has babies, the babies will still be born with tails, because evolution does not pass on acquired traits (this sounds super obvious but in the victorian era they literally, actually determined this by cutting off mouse tails and having them have babies bc everyone thought an offsprings’ resemblance to it’s parents came from ‘’’’’essences’’’’’ from every part of the parents’ bodies physically migrating to the reproductive organs to have offspring, which like……they were on the right track but that’s really, really not how that works lmao) 2. we have two copies of every chromosome so that if a gene in one copy is Fucked Up, the gene in the other copy can cover it so it doesn’t bother anything. genes in this context are called ‘alleles’. this leads to a system where alleles can be dominant or recessive, demonstrated by a capital letter (dominant = A) and a lowercase letter (recessive = a). note that a recessive allele doesnt necessarily translate to a Fucked Up allele, but that Fucked Up alleles in general, regardless of how they affect other alleles, are generally selected against. you can see how a Fucked Up dominant allele could be much be more destructive than a Fucked Up recessive allele, though; dominant alleles get passed on to offspring at a higher rate, and will ‘cover’ less fucked up alleles. it’s a mess in there man 3. a pair of two of the same kind of allele (two dominant or two recessive) are referred to as ‘homozygous’, while a dominant allele paired with a recessive allele are called ‘heterozygous’. 4. the genetic makeup of an offspring in regards to a single pair of alleles in it’s parents can be determined by something called a ‘punnet square’. behold: 

this is referring to yellow-colored and green-colored beans. the Y dominant allele will cover the recessive green allele, showing the effects of the Y allele in the offspring. one parent his homozygous for recessive y alleles while the other parent is heterozygous. this means that half the offspring will turn out yellow while the other half will turn out green, because half of them will be heterozygous for Y while the other half will be homozygous for the recessive y if that makes sense (note: the ‘genotype’ of an organism is the state of it’s alleles, the ‘phenotype’ of an organism is what actually is expressed. so a bean pod with the Yy genotype and a bean pod with the YY genotype will both have a yellow phenotype). punnett squares can be kind of tricky to learn, but practice helps a lot once you get going. 

this post is getting to be like 800 miles long so im gonna stop for the sanity of everyone reading this but other biology people of tungle feel free to add on more core biology concepts, i know im covering mostly molecular stuff here but there’s also like…population biology, anatomy, reproduction, basic biological diversity, and all that stuff that doesn’t deal with genes and cells and all that (which by the way isn’t for everyone; some people despise this part of biology, so anybody wondering if they should go into bio reading this post thinking ‘god oh no i hate this’ know this post swings heavily in the direction of the portion of bio i prefer lmao)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok a more specific prompt, coffee shop au with Malec and claia 😌

this is nowhere near specific and you damn well know it, anon. i appreciate u trying to find an excuse to throw coffee shop aus everywhere, tho. keep doing the lord's work even if i will inevitably twist the prompt

Magnus works at a small, local coffee shop as a barista. It's not exactly his #1 job choice, but it pays better than big chain coffee shops and he needs that to pay rent now that he officially left his abusive father's home for good. Also, he is kind of a coffee enthusiast and the owner, Ragnor, lets him go wild with making up new drinks and ingredients, as long as he still does his job.

All in all it's a good job and he considers the old fart and the other barista, maia, to be like family. Ragnor frequently gives them coffee and Maia constantly teases him about being a "coffee scientist" whenever she catches him thoughtfully drinking from a cup and scribbling notes on his notepad, like some ancient being

His recipes are good, though, and he knows exactly where to get the best coffee beans for the best price. So their drinks are good, affordable, and can please everyone from the traditional "black coffee no sugar" exec to the teenager who wants more of a milkshake than actual coffee

As a result, the shop thrives, gets more popular, and gets more clients. So Ragnor decides to hire a new barista to help. Because he's secretly a sweetheart, he ends up hiring this broke college kid who just moved into town to get away from his kinda toxic family and has nowhere to go - and also doesnt have a single ounce of experience as a barista

It's not surprising; both Magnus and Maia share similar stories, with some abusive exes to spice up the mix, not to mention racism, biphobia, and, in Magnus case, male behavior standarts keeping most opportunities closed for them. So they're cool with that. Even if it means Magnus will have to be the one to teach him, because 1- Ragnor is a dick and assigned him to be Alec's special "tutor" as retribution for Magnus calling him "an old, heart of butter bastard"; 2- he's the one who's best qualified to teach him since he knows a lot about coffee and coffee making anyway; 3- Maia has no patience

Quick detour just to say that i love the maia/magnus brotp opportunities this gives. While Magnus is more of a coffee scientist as she puts it, Maia has an almost instictive understanding of drink making. Where Magnus is soft, she's fierce, and they make one hell of a team and are good at balancing one another. They bond over their experiences with abuse; while Magnus' has made him afraid to put his foot down and say what he wants and prioritize himself, Maia's has made her particularly wary of people and even less willing to take anyone's bullshit, and both of these coping mechanisms have their own effects on their psyche, and they're able to talk openly to each other about it. Maia is kind of protective of Magnus and vice-versa, though the way they protect each other is very different. They have an easy companionship and bantering dynamic that's easygoing and cute, theyre both passionate about their interests (Maia loves marine biology and even if Magnus doesnt know much about it he loves listening to her talk about it) and just generally have that kind of relationship where just smiling at each other makes a tough day seem lighter. Also Magnus loves making Maia laugh. Maia blatantly refuses to laugh at any of his self-deprecating jokes, tho, which has considerably diminished the amount of times he makes them

Anyway Alec comes in for his first day and Magnus is like [REDACTED] because shit this man is cute. Maia notices immediately and from then on the teasing doesn't stop

He's quick to recover, tho, and suddenly he's all smooth again (Maia says he's perfected his customer service persona to horror movie levels), quick to introduce himself and Maia to Alec and explain that he'll be training Alec for the next few weeks or so. He gives him a tour of the shop, explains the basics, and immediately launches into his slightly extra More Serious Than Strictly Necessary course on the makings and workings of coffee, from bean selection to ideal temperature and the chemistry behind the cooking.

This absolute dork even had a small table with some coffee made from different kinds of beans so Alec could taste them and learn the difference and Engage with the profession or some shit

Maia just rolls her eyes, thankful that she had prior experience before getting this job and didnt have to go through this

The first thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't like coffee. This is not a setback. Many people dont like coffee, but that's because they're used to regular powdered coffee instead of making it from the bean. Because the beans in powdered coffee arent previously selected, they are roasted harder than they should, so any beans that might have gone bad wont spoil the taste or make you sick. As a result, the coffee is way too bitter and doesn't have a discernible taste. He explains all of this enthusiastically to a slightly overwhelmed Alec, and gets on to making him try the samples so he can feel the difference.

Here's the second thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't feel the difference

Despair. Horror. Offense.

Alec even kind of chuckles and goes "sorry" at the face he makes, and a not-pouting Magnus goes on with the planned explanation on bean selection

Third thing he learns about Alec: he's a quick study. Everything he lacks in sensibility to the amazing world of bean juice, he makes up for in his careful attentiveness to the instructions. He is also a strict recipe-follower and makes sure he always uses the exact amounts required. He's an absolute perfectionist. He listens to Magnus' explanations on how to know if the taste is right, to look for color and texture of the mix. Magnus tries his simple coffees and only needs a few corrections to send him on the right path

The first time Alec makes him something more complicated to try (per his request) Magnus wants to die

It's so good

Scratch that, it's perfect

This soulless motherfucker doesn't even like coffee and this is the single best version of whatever crazy frapuccino shit they're making magnus has ever tried

He kind of bursts from the kitchen (?) all like MAIA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS just in time to interrupt her chatting with this redhead new customer with shiny eyes. Maia is leaning all the way across the counter. What is this

Maia agrees that it's very good but again he's not as passionate about coffee and Magnus just interrupted what would have been a really smooth number-giving move so she's not feeling all that generous

Alec just laughs at that. His eyes are shining with amusement and he's very, very pleased that Magnus likes his stuff

It's not a big secret, really; mixing drinks is kind of like patisserie in the sense that the measures need to be exact to achieve the best taste and texture. He follows the recipe to a fault, it turns out good. That's why he's better at the more complicated, instagram-y drinks than the simple coffee types

Alec "graduates" his training pretty soon after that and Ragnor is very pleased

He gets along well with both Magnus and Maia, even if he's more quiet and sometimes catches himself just laughing at the two of them interact; their friendship is something else. But he also gets to hear a "shut up" from Maia after not saying absolutely anything when the redhead walks in again the very next day

The redhead always comes in a little late in the morning, so its always slow. As a result, they get to pretend to be minding their own business as they hear the two of them chat and oof is the romantic tension between them something. Maia glares at them once the girl - Clary - leaves every time, but it doesn't stop them

Soon Maia is calling them "no-good gossiping grandmas" because of the way Magnus and Alec will go to the back and pretend to be making something while they keep a whispered running commentary on what the girls are talking about. This quickly turns into some sort of race to see who can make the other break and laugh out loud. Neither of them ever do (they are trying to be discreet and Maia would kill them) but oftentimes they need to cover their mouths with their hands and playfully slap each other for the teasing

Clary doesn't even realize she's the reason; she kind of just thinks they are constantly flirting on the back and briefly wonders how they havent been fired when all they do is whisper and make eyes at each other

Not that she has any room to talk when she's late to work everyday because she keeps cracking jokes with the cute curly haired barista with the most beautiful lopsided smile who always makes her laugh and tells her about her day while she drinks her coffee. She's lucky her work starts at 10 so she can go in a little later and doesnt have to be there during rush hours, but still

She doesnt even like coffee, she walked in one day cuz she was really tired and then just kept coming in the hopes that the barista would make a move on her (shes not gonna do it herself, at least not in her workplace. She doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and it's still unclear whether the girl is flirting or if shes just really nice)

At some point she and Maia even start sharing knowing looks to Alec and Magnus and laughing at them. They don't even notice, because their designated Making Fun Of Maia time turned into just cracking jokes at each other way too quickly. They don't even remember there are other people there

Maia does finally ask clary out eventually. She wasn't exactly nervous about doing it, it's more that she enjoyed their little routine. But enough is enough, and when their routine starts involving Clary giving her a quick kiss before placing her order, well, it just makes it better

Magnus and Alec coo every time

Eventually Maia snaps all like "why are you guys the one poking fun at me when im the one who made a move instead of being a coward"

Magnus is all like "Whatever could she possibly mean??"

It dawns on him when hes closing up the next day and Alec has already left. He has a crush on Alec. Oh god. Oh fuck

Maia helpfully says "idiot" and leaves

Some Magnus being very nervous and overthinking his relationship with Alec who's all like ???????? about this

Alec goes to his sister about his new crush who suddenly started acting weird and izzy is all like "stop trying to guess what he's thinking because you're terrible at this. Just tell them how you feel" and Alec is like okay

He asks Magnus out

Everyone is happy and gay idk the end

✨ feel free to use this and any other one of my posts as a prompt ✨

[hakuteeth]

Harry Styles and the Concept of Gender

I have a lot of thoughts and I wanted a place to lay them all out so I’m sorry this is gonna be probably indecipherable but disclaimer I’m not saying harry is a gender he’s not this is just really exploring the concept of freedom with or without gender and expression of oneself thru clothes not so much about identity but the wider concept of the binary based around my own interpretations of it. A femme take on femininity thru a white man’s exploration of gender if u will so if u dont like that i dont care

also.... ive never taken a queer studies class but I love sociology so..... all these connections I make are from my own knowledge and arent meant to box harry in...

Gender defined from a sociological standpoint is based around how we behave and what actions we are expected to perform and for the most part a little give and take people can stick within this binary as it can be safe and comfortable and black and white. What’s interesting is when people step outside the norm and are more willing to explore that grey area that most people simply dont understand. This is interesting because it extends beyond clothing or makeup as most people don’t realize a man wearing makeup does not subvert gender because the gender binary is also inherently shackled to the concept of heteronormativity just as a woman completes a man, the soft counterpart to his masculine ways. 

Harry Styles and the concept of gender started for me with a dress. It never quite occurred to me that harry would wear a dress and reading the rolling stone article that harry had worn or would ever wear something quite as feminine as that. I think for a lot of people solo Harry Styles was a strange and beautiful uncharted territory of course many people came to suspect the new age rock n roll harry had to usher in but what’s fun is not so much deconstructing Harry as a soft rockstar but the idea that Harry has a femininity to him something I never saw until I noticed it everywhere in his clothing and even more interesting his actions.

The most interesting thing is Harry doesn’t quite believe in a gender binary when it comes to fashion possibly attributed to Alessandro Michele’s take on gender or perhaps the work of a really good stylist but I think if anything Harry also believes in that mission that gender could be redefined within the confines of fashion.

Harris Reed described his vision and Harry ended up wearing five different looks on his world tour introducing a student and relatively unknown LGBT designer to the masses and Harris has went on to say that Harry completely understood the connection clothing gender and sexuality have all shared since the dawn of fabric and it’s interesting when one also thinks about the time and effort this collaboration took considering Harris designed all these looks himself over a very short period of time. Harry wasn’t looking for somebody to dress him as what we normally see male popstars wear onstage, he was looking for a risk.

Gender like most things is more complicated than somebody might think. It extends beyond putting on a funky print before leaving the house it’s about the mannerisms, the actions, the behavior of the individual and the overall societal imprint. And Harry’s always been a bit softer than most. He’s always displayed his self as overwhelmingly kind to the point it makes my teeth hurt sometimes and he’s never overbearing. He’s quite quiet and subtle for somebody who can wear a loud pink custom gucci suit. 

Since 2013 he never shied away from looking or being a bit more feminine and he’s always exuded this calming energy or at least I believe if he had an aura it would definitely be soft pink. During his 2018 tour, every night he would tell fans that they were allowed to be whoever they wanted be in that room and it was all about fostering this environment where crying is manly and babies could choose their own gender  (which he said twice on tour). Also something that sticks out quite vividly is when a fan told him his mermaid has saggy boobs and he replied that everybody should love themselves. 

“We are men!” Then he prances away. That’s always how I picture Harry now him using his kilt to curtsey or him twirling like a ballerina on a football pitch. The concept of gender has extended more beyond fashion and into comfortability but also exploring what somebody may not be comfortable with at first but finding they quite like it. 

When men wear nail polish or when you gift your boyfriend flowers for valentines day. It all lies inside the confines of gender. Subverting gender doesnt mean men should wear makeup but it encompasses a vast majority of actions AND behavior or as I like to call it being a bit softer than most. Men have a tendency to bathe themselves in aggression and to assert their dominance and I’m not saying Harry can’t be masculine as well. One of his favorite hobbies is boxing but even then I’d argue that’s less about aggression and more about control and analytical power where taking down an opponent requires more than brute strength.

I believe there’s power in being feminine and there’s power in owning yourself, 100%, and what’s interesting is Harry is the one who taught me that. I think a lot of people see Harry as this mysterious figure and while he is more private than some people would like I also think he’s shown us a lot about himself and it all depends on us to draw our own conclusions. The thing is I don’t like Harry cause I think he subverts gender or I think he’s feminine. I like him cause he’s authentically himself without any concern for others and he’s different. I’m not a man I present as a woman so I’m subjected to an oppressive environment. I am wary at people who are unwilling to learn who are afraid of stepping outside the box ANY box and hold themselves so tight they can barely move. I see Harry as somebody who moves freely.

I could make an entire essay on Harry and the concept of heteronormativity but I’m going to stick with toeing the line on gender for right now but I do believe a lot can be said for cis heterosexuality and attending a harry styles concert. It felt a bit like a pride parade which was interesting how somebody who essentially had for years this show of heterosexuality somehow ended up being followed by lesbians and bisexual women as well as many gay and trans men fans. 

Well it’s not that hard to see. Harry’s concerts are more celebrations of being yourself and I’ve never seen Harry ever discourage that or shy away from defending his fans to him we are a group of strong men and women and girls are the future. Once again bringing the concept back to the gender binary, girls can do anything despite being told they are only good at some things.

I don’t think this vision of Harry is a product of fan pressure. I think Harry genuinely supports things like LGBT rights and I think he believes in it just as much as we do I can’t ever imagine him not doing so. He made pride merch and wasn’t getting a cent of it because it was all donated to an LGBT charity to benefit youth in schools. If we’re talking in the ways in which Harry explores gender the number 1 community for that has always been the LGBT community historically we tend to fuck around with the concept of gender so it’s not surprise to me that’s a community Harry advocates for. 

Harry’s solo career from the beginning has been about reinventing masculinity. He wore a women’s suit for his album photoshoot and bathed in flowers and pink lemonade for his album cover and though his album had some rock n roll tropes he’s never shied away from talking about women’s rights or lgbt rights. And even within One Direction Harry never felt like just another man to me. He’s somebody special. Not afraid of vulnerability, not afraid of being called gay, not afraid of expressing who he is thru clothing. 

To me it’s always felt like Harry wanted people to know this is who I am you can take me or leave me. Harry I feel is somebody willing to take risks putting himself in a dress in a booklet as tour merch. Saying we’re all a little bit gay on tour. Like moths to a flame outsiders are drawn to him at least I was. 

To me Harry Styles is carving out a place for himself in a world that can be very rigid. Harry isn’t following anybody’s path but his own setting out to reinvent rock n roll and always and forever being a bit softer than most. It’s an admirable trait in a world that has become quite scary as of late. 

[vancalox]

5 + 10 for emeraude, 14 + 18 for effie, 19 + 24 for arylene and 30 through 45 for imogen bc i love her so much ? 😏😏😏

fdjkfjkfdk thank u SO much maia i absolutely Treasure You !

EMERAUDE HAWKE - DA2

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

emeraudes fashion sense is probably my favourite out of all my ocs, so uh if u havent looked at her pinterest board yet u should do that bc its Very cute hehehe

anyway for the most part she sticks to dark, practical clothing whenever she's out and about in kirkwall or doing merc work, etc. she picks clothes that convey strength and power, but she likes having a little bit of colour somewhere on the piece, just to keep things interesting. she's not much of an embroider, but was a good way to keep herself distracted during hard times, so she tends to add little patterns here and there whenever she gets the chance!

as for special occasions, for her this would actually just be. a quiet night at home or a relaxed gathering with her friends. bc its so rare for her to have that lmao. anyway for events like that she usually wears light colours and soft fabrics, simple but always decorated with flowers or colourful patterns.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

she has a collection of gifts ! that kids from lowtown would give her over the years she spent in kirkwall. she's a very community based person and wants to do right for her city, and shes very nurturing (in an ironical, Cool Big Sister way) so she likes making sure all the kids are safe and being looked after. she gets a lot of trinkets and strange gifts from some of the kids as a result, but she does treasure them (even if she laughs about it with her friends) and keeps them all !

EFFIE RYDER - MEA

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

effie's maternal rolemodel has always been her late mother, ellen. nobody could really fill that role in her eyes, since they had such a close, positive relationship before she passed. her relationship with her dad was a lot more strained and it really impacted a lot of her relationships later on in life too ! she tends to.... see an older man who is Vaguely Nice to her, and then think “ oh, youre my dad now?” which isnt fair to anybody obviously but yeah she,,,, has a lot of unresolved issues regarding alec and tends to unintentionally project so. We stan !

How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

oh constantly lol. With her dad being an n7 and her mother working so hard on her research, they tended to move around wherever her parents work required. she actually enjoyed it this way. she was never good at making long term friends, but she lived meeting new people, and obviously with the move she got to experience a lot of different cultures which really put the idea of adventuring and travelling in her head at a young age.

ARYLENE TORR - TES IV

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

she likes them ! she tends to keep her distance with most communities and groups of people in particular, but she does like enjoys having the odd conversation with the odd street urchin here and there, either sharing with them some strange, ridiculous life advice or – if shes feeling particularly chaotic – telling them the scariest stories she can think of. as for having them, arylene isnt AGAINST the idea, but she has far too much for the foreseeable future for that to ever be a good idea

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

outwardly, arylene is an almost unbearably easy going person, so you would assume she doesnt hate anyone lol. but she does DEEEPLY dislike cults and groups of ignorant people who are arrogant enough to start messing with the balance of life, or making deals with gods, etc. she believes that people like that can do an unbelievable amount of damage, so she invests a lot of time and effort it sabotaging any group or plot she happens to find !

 IMOGEN FOSTER - RDR2

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

hmm idk if this even EXISTED in 19th century london lol, but she would have done some very tame version of girl scouts as a child! She barely remembers any of it, but she liked the classes on what plants did what, which were safe to eat, and the likes. its something that helps her a lot when on the run with the gang, and something shes always had a personal interest in, as a nurse !

other than that, she’s done a lot of independent study on history, classical literature, and she speaks fluent italian we stan !

What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

imogen comes from a very wealthy aristocratic family, so she was very fortunate that her privilege afforded her the education she got at the time. she is VERY grateful to have attended the schools she did, and she made sure to make the most of it, paying attention in class and studying harder than most of her classmates. she's a smart girl with a very active mind, so knowledge is something she can't get enough of. she was actually petitioning the board of education to allow her to attend university before she left for america – already their had been women accepted into universities at that time, but obviously it was still a very scandalous thing lol, especially since imogen wanted to study medicine.

What subjects did your OC excel at?

imogen is a HUGE overachiever and did pretty well at basically everything from science, mathematics, language studies and later on, in her studies as a nurse. i can tell you what shes bad at though lmao

anything physical really dkdkdks she is TERRIBLE at horse-riding since she usually just went by carriage everywhere in the city. art and poetry and writing in general she was never great at, because she's a pretty logical person and was told she never put enough emotion in her work lol !!! sports...obviously was very limited anyway as growing up in like? the early 1870s lol. and as for the traditionally feminine lessons in like ?? sewing and cooking and stuff well ! she was very average at them which made her  feel worse than if she was actually bad bc she's so used to excelling and making a name for herself oof

What subjects interested your OC?

Imogen loves greek literature and mythology !! the iliad is her favourite book and she keeps her heavily annotated, dog eared copy – a gift from her late father – on her person almost constantly. needless to say its why dutch admires her as much as he does lol.

obviously, as a nurse-trying-to-be-a-doctor, she has a great love for medicine in all its forms. she's always been fascinated in natural remedies, and even moreso when she's running with the van der linde gang and is really relying on the land to survive.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

hmm okay so. Technically she's a nurse – she worked in her father's hospital for almost 10 years prior to his death, and she was sort of his unofficial understudy, as in she knows a LOT more than her job description requires lol. but after her father past away, another, less progressive man took his place as chief of surgery and made a lot of changes to the way the hospital operated, and imogen was let go. she and her mother were fighting against it, however, under the ground of unfair dismissal, but obviously given the time period it didnt get them very far. so ! i mean technically she's unemployed rn. but she still has dreams of being a doctor, or at least continuing her career in medicine.

How is your OC working towards their dream job and/or achieved their current profession?

Oh VERY direct action up until she got disheartened and chose to take her sabbatical. she had been working in her role for nearly a decade, and was very obviously one of the most experienced nurses there. even younger doctors would sometimes ask her for her medical opinion dksksks anyway what i am saying is Brain Very Good. she had been fighting to gain admission into a university – any, she wasnt picky – to study medicine officially, but it didnt get very far and she put it on hold after her father got sick. after he died and she was laid off, she fought even harder against the city to reinstate her title, and continues to fight after she returns from america a year or so later.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

helping people is her entire life, and she wouldn't know what to do without it. she loves being a nurse enough to fight to be a doctor, but also in BEING a nurse, she is hyperaware of all the things current medical standards seem to get wrong, and she has a lot of ideas about how else to go about things. her father, a shockingly progressive and worldly man for the time period, shared her sentiment, but he wasn't able to make the changes he wanted to before he passed, so imogen hopes she can be the change herself, and make her father proud

What is your OC’s biggest dream?

being a licenced doctor, babey ! preferably at her father's hospital, but at the point she will take what she can get.

How does your OC react to and handle stress?

imogen  handles stress very well , which is partially why she makes such a good medic, and also how she managed to survive the first week of being with the van der linde gang lmao. she is very good at shutting out EVERY distraction when things get dicey, and her brain tends to move at a million miles an hour. all traces of english etiquette and politeness go out the window, though, so you'll usually catch her barking orders at people, and yelling at anyone who prevents her from doing the work she needs to do. it.....is a big wake up call for people like dutch and micah, and gets her into a LOT of trouble on multiple occasions.

How does your OC handle anger?

ooo......not great. she’s grown up with parents who maybe encouraged her to speak her mind a bit....TOO much given the historical circumstances lol. she really doesn’t stand for ignorance or prejudices in any capacity, and if she has a problem with someone and it gets in the way of her trying to do her work or help others - she will ABSOLUTELY be having words. she also overestimates her own strength quite a lot. she’s tried to throw hands with micah MANY times, often forgetting she’s this tiny 70kg englishwoman and he’s .... Him sdjkdcjkf. she has a big mouth too so she often says snide remarks without even meaning too, which tends to get her in trouble as well. on the bright side, it also helps her fit in with the gang quite well, because for the most part they all appreciate how wild she is lmao

How does your OC handle grief?

hmm i guess it depends on what you would class as “well”? she doesnt cry very often - being stoic and handling your emotions is important when your a nurse - but she does tend to shove her feelings down far longer than she should, and tries to pretend they don’t exist by simply focusing on other things. she also blames herself when a lot of things go wrong, because she’s a perfectionist and wants to FIX everything, so when she finds something - or someone - she can’t save, it feels like a personal failure. like she let them down :(

What is your OC’s greatest fear?

probably being trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage with someone who undervalues her. she’s not much of a homebody and doesn’t have too much of an interest in being married, but the idea of feeling FORCED to marry someone in order to have a decent quality of life makes her blood run cold oof

What makes your OC happy?

helping people ! meeting new folks ! learning about other cultures and ways of life! learning about NEW THINGS in general ! proving people wrong ! insulting micah !

as tough and high-and-mighty as she sometimes seems, she’s a pretty easy person to please, honestly. treat her with respect, give her space to do the things she wants to do, and don’t get in the way of her opportunities to learn new things, and she’s mostly very happy !

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

she has a fairly macabre and sardonic sense of humour, something she picked up from her mother. she says a lot of Shocking things for the time period, and she’s not shy of dirty jokes either. the first time sean heard her, a soft, well spoken english Lady, make some filthy, crude joke, he nearly had a stroke right there on the spot kjkjkfdjkf

What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

senseless violence, suffering or cruelty. she really hated the gang at first and hoped to escape the first chance she got, because all she could see was the crime and disregard for human life she assumed they all held. fortunately, as she got to know them, she realized this wasn’t exactly the case, but she still has a lot of anger in her heart for a few key members of the gang who seem to enjoy bloodshed more than anything. she also hates any form of social prejudice, and people who gatekeep knowledge and opportunities from others.

What are some things that annoy your OC?

i guess all of the above, but she also dislikes misplaced arrogance, and people who talk down to others. she tolerates dutch, but often gets frustrated with the way he speaks, using as many big words as he can to manipulate and confuse others. she believes that really intelligence doesn’t require obscure jargon and big, fancy words - she likes keeping things simple, so everybody can follow along.

[kudalyn]

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. Oh poor Atem my heart was already bleeding for the little bugger. I'm an absolute sap for self-doubting, self-bashing Atem for some reason. And THIS IS ME TOTALLY ASKING FOR MORE. How do Yugi and Atem become lovers? I bet Atem does some more self-angst stuff when he wakes up right? And how do they meet Jou and Ryou? What do they do make a living? What's their cover? So can Atem transform into multiple things or just Zorc-esque? Wahhhh so many questions.

Thank you for your patience!! I don’t always have the energy to answer messages right away so sorry this is late >w

A bit more chatlog copypaste and other stuff:

Atem and Yugi’s romance takes some time to fully bloom. They’ve had a mutual attraction for a long time, but many things (atem’s bad self-esteem and yugi’s hesitance) get in the way of it, and the stress of having to be on the lam doesn’t give much room for that to grow

a mutual deep respect and endless loyalty to each other, yes, but romance not so much. Plus Atem learning he’s a walking magic bomb and Yugi having to work double time in keeping the both of them cloaked while Atem’s untrained magical signature is a giant ass beacon of HEY COME GET ME doesn’t help atem’s self-image. 

They end up fleeing the country, moving to a more sparce and less magic-focused country that’s more of a neutral ground than anything, so it’s a bit safer for them to hide out in. They spend a lot of time, some months at least constantly on the move till they find a nondescript town deep in the middle of the neutral country and settle down in an abandoned shack in the surrounding forest. (they clean it up surprisingly well)

atem feels utterly disgraced and distraught that this happened and that yugi's putting himself in danger for him, and many times tries to convince yugi to go back and plead insanity or something. yugi refuses, saying he'll never leave atem alone again when he needs him so badly.

so atem does his best to learn quickly from yugi, but on-the-run teaching isn’t the most thorough way, though Atem does learn best being shown and when under duress/challenge. Its difficult because yugi's not experienced with teaching and atem's magic works differently than his. students usually get teachers that are more experienced with their specific type of magic for ease of teaching.

atem is a fast learner though, and stubborn as fuck, and learns well enough to be able to control his magic enough it's not a danger.  though it has different skills and uses than yugi's does. it gets to the point that it's dangerous for either of them to be seen as they are, and while yugi gets skilled at disguise magic, it's not in atem's skillset and disguising for two is very draining.

So, in a fit of crazyness (as yugi called it) and late night reading, atem gets a brilliant(?) idea. he tells yugi to make him his familiar

familiars are usually made between a non-human magical entity and a humanoid, and demons fall under that non-human entity category

and atem is a demon conduit. he thinks its brilliant! familiar owners can change their familiars form at will, familiars can hide in their owner's shadows, and the owners can forcefully command the familiar in dire situations. if atem ever loses it again (something he’s terrified of doing though while he has had some close calls he hasn’t had any relapses in his training) yugi can just tell him to stop! yugi thinks he's mad - familiar contracts are not only very binding, they've never been recorded happening between two humanoids, let alone a conduit, and demon familiar contracts are tricky and can backfire.

atem insists, he'd never set any contract lines that would hurt yugi, he's loyal as fuck, and he admits that if capable he'd willingly spend the rest of his life serving yugi. not exactly a declaration of love, but yugi understands what more or less what he means

yugi's overwhelmed, tells atem he needs to think on it. atem thinks he's fucked up in more ways than one, and they have a day or two of awkwardness but yugi eventually concedes, saying that while it is very clever, it is also very dangerous. but he wants atem to be safe, and he too wants to spend his life with atem - he just didn't see it ever happening like this. something atem gets depressed over momentarily before yugi snaps him out of it and says he will never regret making his decision to save atem

they make the contract, magical circle and all, and while the magic goes a bit dodgy for a bit, it ends up working out - but with the unrealized side effect of the two of them being able to speak/see each others thoughts via soul link

atem as an awakened demon conduit had always been hyper attuned to human's emotions and feelings, being able to smell and feel them himself, but this was a whole new step. and yugi not being alone in his head was very jarring

it puts a lot of stress on them, along with learning how the contract works - if yugi asks atem to do something, if he doesn't word it carefully it comes out as a command Atem is compelled to do forcefully

like 'atem, shut up' becomes literal even if it was meant jokingly.

he learns to use nicknames more often, but atem does enjoy the nickname yugi gave him as a kid so he doesn't mind, and he knows the command could be useful in a pinch (or bad for him if yugi is in danger and forces atem to leave, but he makes yugi swear he'd never do something like that - atem knows he's probably fibbing but its the best he can do)

another thing is atem learning to live in yugi's shadow if need be, but he hardly uses it, yugi usually transforms atem into a dark dark red cat with some gold stripes, so atem can sit on his shoulder as he goes out and about so yugi only has to disguise himself, and its easier to hide one person in a crowd instead of two

also in times like that the mental link comes in very handy, but it still takes time for them to learn how to block each other off from the others minds for privacy or other stuff. they eventually get comfortable enough being pretty open with their thoughts, but that takes a while.

-----

I’ve thought a bit on it and it’s a bit hard to decide, but I think what’ll happen is that while Anzu will be someone Yugi used to be friends with back at their old village and left behind sadly, Jou and Ryou will be two villagers living in the new town. they end up becoming friends, but friends with ‘not-Yugi’ or the disguise Yugi puts up when he goes to town. They know there’d be less of a chance of them being recognized in a different country, specially just Yugi on his own, but they don’t wanna risk it. 

I think eventually yugi and atem will reveal themselves when jou and ryou prove loyal friends, but it’d be some time before they do that. For the longest time, jou and ryou just think yugi’s this eccentric magic collector who talks far too much to his cat.

Yugi and atem will make some living doing small magic practices, ending up being mostly an apothecary than anything else because it’s simple and unobtrusive and living in the forest gives them lots of supplies. also people in this neutral country trust natural remedies a bit more than straight up magic, though yugi uses it while making any potions or poultices to make them more effective. Atem with his great memory and quick thinking ends up being a walking library, (not literally) devouring any book he comes across and collecting an even larger mental catalog than Yugi does. he swears his reading is just a past-time but yugi knows better. 

they do sometimes like small bounties or clearing out any dangerous magical critters from the surrounding area but they do it quietly and under disguise to keep things safe. 

One of Atem’s new skills turns out to be shape-shifting of some amount (separate from the shape-shifting that comes with his familiar status under Yugi)

Mainly he has to retain some sort of bipedal form, but he can add and retract wings, a tail, horns, scales and claws and other such details. He avoids anything hulking and monstrous like what Zorc forced him into in his awakening, choosing to always keep his human face and general form. His shapeshifting prerequisites are horns, claws, and some form of tail no matter how hard he tries to keep the tail from growing. That’s when his nub tail makes its most usual appearance, the shortest he can get away with (yugi loves it)

He can do some digitgrade-ness, or specific amplification like giant yaoi hand claws and stuff for offence if need be. he can’t like breathe fire or anything easily cause it requires more amplification to his body than he likes (his face/throat/chest) but if need be he’ll use it. The wings he’s never super fond of because he doesnt quite like the feel of multiple limbs he has to keep track of and coordinate, but Yugi convinces him to at least learn how to use them in case they ever need to use them. He’s glad that he can go without them. 

In any of his altered forms his speed and strength is greatly intensified, as are his senses. the more he allows himself to shift away from human the more intense his demonic urges are (aggression, hunger for magical power, general nasty emotions and urges) so he sticks to as human as possible at all times. When he’s loafing around at home with Yugi he’s rarely in any altered form unless he’s feeling in a particularly good mood (self-confident) and he allows himself to be more open. 

Also: Atem has a heck of a time trying to control his vices. His main one is gambling, though he manages to get his minor drinking problem under control with yugi’s help. Gambling is something that he just can’t seem to get rid of, but Yugi helps by setting safer stakes and bets for him to get his high off of, plus Yugi himself enjoys a good game and is a good opponent for Atem always.

So, I think this is the most of what I have so far for this au. I’d love to write it up one day, but it’ll have to wait ;v;

thank u for ur love!! feel free to ask me more stuff if you’re still curious, gives me more excuses to do worldbuilding. o/

[unproduciblesmackdown]

this one for the special club of ppl who have no friends

idk abt yall but even for myself im not sure exactly how long it took me to work out that i was & had been more isolated than the avg person over my life & realizing that the feeling i had since ever being around a group of ppl (preschool) that i couldnt fit in or have more than like, one friend that was mostly defined as “wanted to actually play together at recess or smthing”, was just actually generally true. idk what it is but you know what its like when ppl have some tendency to ignore you. or quietly gain contempt for you because they think you’re weird, which i havent known to stop being true between like 10 yr olds & ppl in their 20s. when ur being talked over even in a group you’re supposed to be in and its like listen. what is going on that this happens so much

anyways when you have no friends its always wild when anyone does show up and actually act like a friend more than like once & show the slightest interest in you as a person. for me though i did have to learn to just not care as much when this happens because its like the sheer math of it all yknow. a person who is used to having like, a more avg number of friends across life is gonna make a friend and be like “oh man awesome” but on the other end of things when u have only a handful of friends and/or little access to friends &/or no close friends, getting a new friend seems way more significant because its like wow this is only 1/18 in my whole life or something. whereas for the other person you are 1/143 idek. not to say that each friend is less important to someone who has more of them. but it is less of a big deal to gain a new one, and a new person theyve just been talking to a bit IS going to be a less important friend

where this is going is just that, never having friends = everyone else being a big deal to you, but you arent a big deal 2 them....a lot of wondering why you always like ppl more than they like you. in my experience its not fun so, with the motivation to stop feeling terrible over that repeated revelation, and also figuring out that its because being so isolated / having few to no Reeeaalll Friends = valuing new friends way more than they value you, rather than just that everyone definitely hates you....i personally have tried to stop caring less about getting the opportunity to talk to new people.

thats not to say i dont enjoy it or value it or like the people i talk to.....i do enjoy it, im a social person in my own way, and i appreciate it when it happens b/c i dont consistently have conversations with anyone. i just don’t get excited abt a potential friendship or expect to ever reach what feels like a real & solid friendship w anyone. i have picked up a few ppl in the past like 5 yrs i do consider friends but its always taken a while to get there.

its kind of funny because like i said i AM kind of social & i do really care about people i get to grow a bit close to.......there is definitely plenty of ppl i dislike right away & have the opposite interest as being friends with them....but when i do like ppl, idk, i like to try to support them and be nice to them and be there for them in the usually tiny ways i can.....i love to talk to people actually. in person when im actually comfortable, i can actually come off a bit overly talkative....i can be energetic when i’m happy & i do have a lot to say about things sometimes but usually only in my head. even typing it out is difficult b/c i can only type so fast, especially with a phone. but in other situations i can have trouble actually getting my voice to come out at all, or i choose not to speak at all b/c i dont want to. or when im frustrated i dont want to talk for a moment but thats generally because there is no one around i want to talk to about it. i can talk abt something for hrs....and it is of course extra special to me b/c i dont get to be around ppl i like talking to them that often

idk and i like to do nice things for friends when i can......i dunno. i do like people. i can be pretty choosy about who i hang on to, i might only have a select group of friends even if i wasnt isolated; but still....theres a lot of people in the world. even being picky about it, you could have a huge friend group

little tangent i dont trust trying to make friends in groups at all really lol.....like even if you’re friends with someone who’s in a bigger friend group. i might cautiously give ppl a chance just b/c of the good endorsement but ive also had bad times w it. and often like, even ppl i all individually like, to be in a group w everyone is to realize that my way of socializing means im a lot of times off on the tangents and it just makes it clear that there’s a whole Thing going on in the middle that you’re not at all involved in. and then there’s ongoing Things that nobody lets you in on and its like alright i guess i’ll do my own thing that nobody’s interested in. idk and its happened that i’ll be in a group and again just like....not be even noticed physically and its like. feels great man

anyways i guess theres general things about Friendship that i feel i miss out on, on account of never experiencing it

like ive never felt like i had someone i’d tell anything to, not even collectively, like i have three Things to tell & maybe i cant tell anyone all three but i know three ppl i’d tell one of each to

ive also never quite felt like i’d always have someone to talk to just in general......or been in the situation where if i wanted to go out and do something w someone i knew i could find someone to go w me.....idk theres never been the feeling that i always had access to friends in any way. or like, ever had access to friends, most of the time at least

i also have no idea....when ppl talk about having longtime friends like known all their life im like wtf. ok. weirdo. ive had a friend for ten seconds

kind of a bummer b/c i think a lot of ppl consider College to be th easiest place to make friends...like before that you mostly have school friends and afterwards its like oh work friends but college you have a bit more mobility and different situations to meet people.....but post-college its supposedly just increasingly difficult to make new friends. and being more isolated makes it even more difficult as ppl tend to ostracize ppl for being lonely weirdos

im always lucky i get to talk on here tbh......it occurs to me it’s probably bad to feel completely unheard. because it frustrates me a lot at times to feel that way. even nowadays i dont really say anything about the stuff i think & dont ever find myself wanting to....im picky about who i really feel like having long or even short but actually genuine convos w like i said...............and idk its not that infrequent too for ppl to seem to not really care one way or the other or listen or even like it when i talk. i only wanna talk in situations i feel good talking obv lol....otherwise i’d rather stay quiet, but staying quiet is frustrating also. but i do it. but i can say things here at least even if i’m not actually talking aloud

i cant expect to ever have this mythical friend group or whatever.....i dont have Expectations like that. and in the meantime ive been lowkey for a few years just trying to lower my expectations even for ppl im just chill-ly talking to. its not that difficult nowadays, i get a bit pumped to just be talking, but i dont get Pumped Abt New Friends or anything. i know it doesnt work like that....and its not like i was ever like, wanting a blood oath after two conversations or anything like that. it just tends to mean more to you and then you find out you dont mean as much to anybody else really

oh but a good silver lining is that now i have better standards for ppl anyway, to be like “well it sucks that it turns out my connection w all these ppl wasnt that solid at all, but hang on now that i think of it do i even Like this or that person”

life is wild huh. back in preschool i thought something was wrong w me that nobody liked me & nowadays i dont care if they do or not. im doing my own thing over here & may be chillin in hell but at least, even if i’m sad i don’t exactly get to consistently interact w ppl, it only matters to me if i get the attention from ppl i genuinely like anyways. i could drop off the face of the planet & probably the biggest giveaway was that i had reblogged a joke in a few days but wtf does that matter anyway. some of us got to be on the tangents still w no friends. not because its necessary but b/c it happens and it has to be someone, might as well be me or you. it happens to be me, thats for sure

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨

[traveling-madness]

Gwenvid part 2/2

(1/2)

23. - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

In public or alone? David is a hugger either way but kissing/teasing/flirting around other people, (or gosh forbid around THE KIDS) is inappropriate. Gwen is less scandalized by it, but sometimes pda can make her nervous or uncomfortable depending on the day. In private, especially during the early stages of the relationship, they both blushed a lot whenever any flirting kissing or cuddling was concerned, now they’re more comfortable with each other but Gwen still likes to say less... appropriate things sometimes, just to bring his blush back. David is more frequently the comforter, but if he needs it Gwen will always step in, even though she doesn’t always know what to do.

24. - Any doubts about the relationship?

Mostly on Gwens part, she’s convinced she isn’t good enough or happy enough or energetic enough, and even though she tries not to show it David still ends up reassuring her quite a bit. He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but sometimes he worries he’ll push her too hard or too far when he’s just trying to make her happy.

25. - How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

A lot of time over the summer, When they aren’t at work together David sends “I miss you <3″ texts every few hours. Gwen says “Miss U 2″ and he calls asking if the band broke up. Of the two of them, David will almost always be an open book, the only time he holds things in is when he thinks what he has to say will hurt Gwen. Gwen is still unlearning the habit of pretending she’s ok around him, He’s told her that isn’t healthy, but the fucker is so positive she feels like an eternal storm cloud in comparison and figures he’ll get sick of her.

26. - How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

David has a penpal in almost every state and at least 6 countries. He traveled a lot in college and made friends anywhere and everywhere. All of them know about Gwen. Every. Single. One. Gwen has a handful of close friends and she talks about him when significant others come up. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk about him, she just doesnt want to be THAT girl who never shuts up about her boyfriend.

27. - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

My brain says its not realistic but my heart says they adopt Max and live in a cabin in the woods. Still gettin cable and wifi out there though.

 28. - What are their vacations like?

Another thing they have to take turns picking. They take Max to Universal Orlando or Disney at least once though.

29. - How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

David is better in emergencies, he’s definitely the one to pick if you’re stranded in the wilderness. He’ll cry for an hour or so if injured, but once Gwen patches him up he’ll pretend it never happened. He almost NEVER gets sick and Gwen thinks it’s terrifying. Gwens approach to sickness or injury is to put on a bandaid and sleep it off. Gwen grew up without health insurance and David thinks THAT’S terrifying.

30. - Could they manage a long distance relationship?

They do, by about 8-10 hours when it’s not summer.

31. - Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

Gwen got him hooked on romance novels and indyfolk music, David introduced her to farmers markets and houseplants.

32. - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

The only rule they break is dating a coworker. And honestly? does that matter if your boss is in jail? Sometimes I wonder if they’d get questioned (potentially at gunpoint) about Campbell’s activities and how much they know.

33. - What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

David either hand-makes gifts or spends hours picking between the most perfect things. Gwen stresses for days about what to get him but really she could make some shitty macaroni art for him and he’d cry. David gets or makes her little things even when there’s no occasion and then she feels bad for not getting him anything.

34. - Do they have any pets?

David want’s a dog, Gwen is worried about taking care of the dog. David gets a golden retriever lab mix from the local humane society. Gwen fucking loves the dog. she would kill a man for this dog.

35. - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

The best generally, they’re really well balanced.

36. - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Strength is working together and keeping each other on track. Weakness is not always understanding each others wants and needs because they’re so different.

37. - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

Gwen sacrifices sleeping till 2pm and staying inside watching netflix on all her days off. David sacrifices going out on days she really needs to be lowkey, and also sometimes the hot water because she takes long showers. He wouldn’t stop working with kids though, and once she found a steady job she wouldn’t... start. working with kids.

38. - What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

LMAOO Nah they’re pretty damn vanilla. Some experimentation with pegging sure. And David has “Accidentally” Tied himself to the bed frame while “practicing knots” at the convenient time she’d be getting home from work.

39. - Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

The best way to put it is the relationship initiated itself. David kissed her first but it was on the cheek, and he said he was sorry because he didn’t ask and that was very ungentlemanly of him. Gwens response was to very, very awkardly tell him to “Do it again but at least the fucking right way this time. That’ll be gentlemanly or whatever.” He knew he loved her since long before they were dating. She knew since a week into the relationship. He said it first, and she didn’t believe him.

40.- Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

David has a spot in the woods he goes to think or work on a project or even sometimes let off steam on the rare occasion he really needs to. Gwen is the first person he’s brought there. 

41. - Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

David doesn’t drink. Gwen used to drink but also used to get horrible migraines from most grain alcohols and isn’t the biggest fan. She’ll have the occasional glass of wine or sometimes a rum and coke (the Fave™) but that’s about it, especially since they’ve been together, alcohol makes him a little uncomfortable.

42. - Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Absolutely, Gwen couldn’t take that level of positivity from anyone else, and David always figured he’d have a 100% dry and sober kitchen.

43. - Do they talk often? What about?

Yes, mostly about their days and plans for the upcoming week, in the summer about work or sometimes the kids,occasionally the future.

44. - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Yes, David especially. Gwen is still working on not bottling things up from him though.

45. - Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

David wants to get married, have at least one kid, or adopt, he isn’t picky, and he’s willing to start with a dog. Gwen is nervous but really wants this to work out, she regrets not liking kids.

[randomthingsthatilike1]

Okay, but Eliza neglected Alex. Did she mean to? No. Was she trying to hurt her? No. Is that still child abuse? God yes. Alex could never be good enough, could never do anything right. Alex flat out said that Eliza blamed her for Kara not dating enough. What kind of bullshit is that?? I'm not saying that Eliza is a bad person, but she put way too much on Alex's shoulders at way too young an age. She neglected her and emotionally abused her, whether or not she meant to.

wait i dont even remember, when did eliza say something to alex about kara dating? and like. for all intents and purposes, kara was v much a special needs child and eliza is a single parent, and alex is her older sister--and i think this post describes it p well. This isn’t katherine grant, who’s just straight out mean to cat and won’t even give her a hug. this is a woman dealing with a kid who, if not handled correctly, could very easily kill them if she loses control of her powers--and we all know how cruel children and teenagers can be. Eliza can’t be everywhere, and she’s doing it all on her own--so yeah, she over relies on Alex because it’s not even just ‘your sister needs you to function’ it’s ‘your sister needs you to make sure she doesnt accidentally kill anyone.’ There’s been a lot of talk about kara having SPD, if u want it i can try and dig it up--that was from last season.

and i’m not a sibling to someone with special needs, i can’t talk about that experience but i’ve definitely heard stories from people i know about being given a lot more responsibilities and dedicating a lot more of their time to helping their siblings than maybe joining that extracurricular or going abroad or going to a school even 10 minutes further away

and yeah, eliza talks about being less harsh on kara, because really kara just lost everyone, and then was dumped on the danvers really by her only remaining relative. eliza says it like she’s a girl from another planet who just lost everything--who can also very easily leave and never come back if she wanted, or felt like she was trapped.

and instantly when finding out that this is how alex feels she apologizes, adjusting her behavior once she found out how alex was feeling, and we see that not just in the thanksgiving episode but when alex and j’onn visit midvale and in the next thanksgiving episode. and alex not doing anything right part--alex could do something right. eliza told winn how proud she was of alex for working in the same field as her

and also like. we all know just how much alex bottles up her feelings. the fact that eliza doesnt question alex’s feelings or make her second guess anything and yes changes both her behavior towards both alex and kara makes me think that this is a pretty new conversation topic, at least since jeremiah died. because anyone who’s an older sibling will say, it’s an adjustment to having a younger sibling, especially one who’s an alien refugee. And Clark literally just dropped kara off on their doorstep, it’s not like they had much time to prepare.

that’s not saying eliza didn’t make mistakes. but one child needed help with everything and eliza was just one person, and also grieving for her husband and constantly looking over her shoulder to see when the next person in a suit would show up, because the only reason why they left kara alone was because jeremiah was working for them--and he’s not anymore. this isn’t a simple case of ‘oh i have 2 children and one of them i like better’

also there has been some research into what siblings of children with special needs experience that are almost universal, and a documentary filmmaker named Rachel Feighter interviewed a bunch of siblings in a documentary “Not Typical” some common experiences she found were

“Feeling like they need to be perfect. Siblings of individuals with special needs know how hard their parents work to ensure all of their sibling’s needs are met, and often see their parents struggle to meet these needs. Many feel like they can’t make mistakes because that would add to their parents’ burden, so they believe they must be perfect at all times. This is an impossible standard to meet, and can lead to stress and feelings of inadequacy. One girl said she felt like she “had to be Ms. Perfect and not have any problems for [her] parents to deal with.” Another said that she felt as though she could never be “enough.”

Feeling like they can’t express their feelings. Most typically developing children love their sibling with special needs. Yet they may also resent how much of their parents’ time is taken up by caring for their sibling or feel embarrassed about their sibling’s behavior. One girl said she “was never allowed to mourn openly or to be mad or sad about [her] brother” and another said her friends thought she was being mean if she said anything bad about her sister, even though friends with typically developing siblings often complain.

Having a different idea of family and home. For most children the concept of family is based in togetherness. But when a sibling has special needs, family quality time may look different. One girl recalled that her mother was “assigned” to her sister with special needs and her father was “assigned” to her. The family often spent time apart, especially when it involved leaving the house.

Feeling as though their problems are minimized. Sometimes a sibling with special needs has complex and even life-threatening problems. An issue faced by a typically developing sibling, whether it is a problem with a friend or an academic struggle, may seem small compared to having limited mobility, learning difficulties or sensory issues that require intensive care or prevent a child from attending the neighborhood school. One girl said her parents rarely dealt with her problems, instead telling her to be “strong.” 

Feeling isolated. Typically developing siblings may be lonely because they don’t have peers who have siblings with special needs. So they feel different when their friends ask “what’s wrong with your sister?” Some children also feel self-conscious about their sibling with special needs, and aren’t sure when or how to tell their friends about him.

Dealing with intolerance early and often. Children learn early that there is not universal acceptance for individuals with special needs, and that their sibling is not welcome everywhere that typically developing children are. This can be deeply disappointing to typically developing children who want to have shared experiences with their sibling. They regularly encounter individuals who refuse to move from seats designated for individuals with disabilities, and those who make unkind comments about other accommodations their sister needs. These early lessons in intolerance, and even hate, can affect their world view and make them cynical or resentful of the limitations placed on their sibling and themselves as a result.

Feeling like they are asked to help too much. Some typically developing children are expected to help care for their sibling with special needs from a young age, even if that sibling is older. One girl said that she felt like the “attention police” at home since her mother was constantly telling her that she had to pay attention to her sibling with special needs. Many are told early on that they will be expected to care for their sibling when their parents are no longer able to do so. This puts enormous pressure on them.

Feeling like they must grow up quickly. Because of the sum of their experiences, from feeling as though they are on their own to handle their problems to feeling pressure to be perfect to being given responsibility for their brother or sister, some siblings of children with special needs feel as though they are forced to grow up too quickly.”

Most typically developing children love their siblings with special needs beyond measure and are close to them. But to better understand and support them, it’s important to acknowledge their struggles. There is a need for more information about the experience of growing up with a sibling with special needs. While there are a few places the stories of these siblings are told, such as the fictional book “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio, hearing from the siblings themselves in “Not Typical” will help many feel less alone and better understood.

i know that was long, but tell me--does that sound like alex danvers to you? These are not quite universal experiences but apparently pretty damn common. And this is all as a newly single mother, taking care of a deeply traumatized alien. Considering how quickly Eliza changed her behavior once she found out how Alex truly felt, I genuinely think that Eliza didn’t realize how hurt Alex was feeling.