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ellieluvr420 · 11 months ago

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Friends? Never. Pt.22 (Ellie Williams x reader)

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

SMUT MDNI OR ILL BE YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON TONIGHT XOX

proofread kinda but this shit is like almost 9k words and i am tired so if there’s a mistake my apologies, will fix that tomorrow probs!

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“Fuck I am so tired. I’ve been twenty for three weeks and I swear I’m deteriorating already.”

“Ellie you are such a drama queen, you’re just tired because you actually ran laps with the group today.” Training with the group had been going well for the most part but watching Ellie come back breathless and rosy cheeked, though in better shape than the teenagers that followed after her, was the highlight for you.

“Can’t believe you made me do that.”

“You were being naughty and you know I don’t tolerate bad behaviour.”

“I smacked your ass once and none of them even saw. You are so mean to me.”

“Stop sulking, besides, would you have preferred to stay behind with Amber?”

“Okay fair enough, how was that by the way?” Your mind cast back to the memory of your altercation with Amber and left a sour taste in your mouth.

“Amber, can you stay behind please?”

“Why?” She snipped at you with a scowl.

“Because I said so.” You grit as Ellie stifles a laugh. Ellie had been on a mission today to annoy you as much as humanely possible, lovingly but still, she had succeeded. She had done so well that she was now jogging away with the other trainees after you banished her. When they had all been doing target practise she snuck up behind you and landed a harsh slap on your ass that was so loud it was almost audible over the repetitive gunfire. You yelped and rubbed at the sore skin while sneering at her as she laughed.

“Sorry babe, you know I love your ass too much to keep my hands off, you should’ve seen the way it jiggled.” She went to reach for it again but you slapped her hand away and huffed, only making her laugh more, you glanced at the group and when all of their heads remained facing away from you, you breathed a sigh of relief.

“You are such a little shit, you’re running laps with the others while I talk to Amber.”

“What?! No way.”

“Yes way, I’ve had enough of you today.”

“Oh come on babe don’t be like that.”

“Too late and if you don’t go, no sex for a month.”

“You’re joking.”

“Wanna fuck around and find out?” She huffed and called the rest of the group over to announce the badly received news of their impending laps around the town. You almost regretted your decision when you were left alone with Amber, her attitude making you want to throttle it out of her.

“I wanted to have a chat because I want to see what we can do to be better supporting you to get you up to standard for patrol.”

“Excuse me? Why are you only asking me?”

“This isn’t an attack Amber, this is for your safety but you aren’t progressing at the same rate as the others and I don’t want to see you fall behind.”

“You’re just picking on me because you have it out for me so don’t give me all of that caring bullshit because I see right through it.” She hissed, you bit your tongue and took a deep breath, desperately trying to keep your cool.

“Amber, your aim with a gun is nowhere near the standards of the others, you can’t hold your own in a fight even with one of the other girls, you struggle in the drills, you don’t understand tracking and you never know any of the answers to the questions we ask about survival tactics. I’m not picking on you, I’m stating a fact.” It was harsh but she needed to hear it. “I am willing, and so is Ellie, to put in extra hours with you to help but we can only help if you let us and stop being so stubborn.”

“I’ll do the extra hours with Ellie but I’m not spending anymore time with you than I have to.” You snickered at her comment, a wave of insecurity crashing over her features. You’d happily let Ellie take her for the extra training, you trusted her with your life but then Amber would be getting her way and you just weren’t willing to let that happen.

“Not gonna happen, nice try though.” You were going to leave it there but that eye roll and pout of her lip just sent you over the edge as you stormed over to her, closing the distance between you both. “Do you think I don’t notice your blatant flirting with my girlfriend? Do you think it’s going to get you anywhere? We live together, we have a child together, and when we go home together after training we laugh at your pathetic attempts on her. Stop being fucking delusional and get over yourself. I’m here to train you, not to be your friend so you either sort yourself out or I’ll tell Maria you’re not fit for patrol and she’ll find you some other boring job in Jackson.” She gulped and her eyes developed a glassy film. You had taken it too far but you were getting sick of her and she had just pushed you one too many times. “Now go home and come back tomorrow with a better fucking attitude because if you think I’m above kicking your ass you’re sorely mistaken. You saw how quick I took Harvey down, do you really think I wouldn’t crush you in a second?” She scowled at you before storming off, not quick enough that you didn’t see the fear in her eyes though.

“Ugh she’s just- it was as expected. We argued, I scared the shit out of her and she ran away with her tail between her legs, she’ll be the exact same tomorrow. Same shit, different day.”

“Damn, I don’t understand what her problem is.”

“I do, she doesn’t like me because of us and because I have a position of authority over her, she’s the weakest of the group and it makes her insecure and I’m the only one that will call her out on it.” You eye Ellie pointedly as she smiles sheepishly.

“I can take the next lecture, promise babe.”

“Eh she won’t even listen to you because she’ll be too busy ogling you.”

“Damn I’m feeling really objectified right now.”

“Oh shut up, you love it.”

“I only love the attention when it comes from you but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel good about myself.” She smiles smugly as she wraps an arm around your waist pulling you snug to her hip as she presses a kiss to your temple with a quiet chuckle.

“Who would’ve thought I’d be the scary one out of us?” You chuckle but it dies in your throat as she quirks an eyebrow at you as if your question was entirely absurd.

“Err everyone. You’re scary.”

“I am not!” You pinch her side and she squirms away from you with a hiss.

“You so are, it’s not a bad thing but you are terrifying. Do i need to remind you about you being a jailbird? My girlfriend is a convict, that’s scary, hot but scary.” You roll your eyes as the school comes into view and the bustle of parents awaiting their children is accompanied by the deafening squeals and yells of children bounding out of the gates like a stampede. You both stop and hold hands as you wait for Clem’s beaming face to come into view.

You crane your neck looking for the strawberry blonde locks until they catch your eye causing a smile to grace your features. Ellie had already released your hand to kneel down in preparation for Clem’s leap into her arms that had become customary when you would pick her up. You both exchange looks of concern when her face remains angled towards the floor and she trudges over to you both dragging her feet. You immediately move towards her and bend down in front of her as Ellie joins you seconds later, cupping her cheeks you angle her face to meet yours and the sight sends shockwaves through you. Her face was red and blotchy, the remnants of tears evident all over her cheeks but what struck you both more was the slightly raised red mark on her cheek that looked like the precursor of a bruise.

“Baby who did this to you?” Your voice was frantic as tears welled in your eyes at her sadness, it was the kind of sadness you hadn’t seen in her since the day you found her, the memory of that day cursed you and filled you with a rage you had never experienced before. She had been so excited for school this morning, it was show and tell and she had brought in a painting that her and Ellie had created with the watercolours you had gifted Ellie for her birthday, it was a replica of a polaroid taken on Ellie’s birthday of the three of you, Ellie holding Clem with her free arm around your waist as you all beamed at the camera. She had rushed you both out the door and practically skipped the whole way to school, babbling about how much she loved it and how interesting all her classes were and now she was sniffling and hurt, her entire demeanour oozing the pain she was in. You were so focused on the sorrow on her features you barely remembered asking her who caused her it until she answered you.

“T-Timmy.” Her voice was meek and quiet, the opposite of how it typically was as she sniffled and wiped at her eyes before wincing as she accidentally pressed on the welt forming underneath.

“What happened kiddo?” Ellie’s voice was calm, unlike yours but the scowl on her face gave her true feelings away.

“He made fun of me for having two mommies, so I told him he was ugly and smelly, because he is, then he hit me and pushed me in front of everyone. Please can we go home?” Every part of you wanted to chase Timmy and his parents down for what they had taught their child but Clem came first and she wanted to go home so that’s what you’d do.

Clem perked up quick enough, after dancing to her favourite record with you both and doing some painting with Ellie while you prepared dinner, she seemed almost normal again though it was clear what happened today was playing on her mind as she looked up from the table with glassy eyes.

“Why are people mean about you? I don’t understand, you’re the best mommies. Do they hate me?”

“Oh baby, no one hates you, you’re our perfect angel, don’t ever have thoughts like that, ever, okay?” Ellie was the first to speak as she noticed the slight gape of your mouth though you snapped back into action when Clem turned to you expectantly.

“Some people just don’t like that me and mama love each other. They don’t like that me and mama are young as well and we were so lucky to find you and make you a part of our family. They’re jealous and silly and I promise it’s nothing to do with you. I swear Timmy nor anyone is ever going to lay a finger on you again baby, some people are just silly and mean, do you understand?” She nods with a small smile before going back to eating as Ellie looks at you silently communicating the plan you knew you both had.

“Clemmy, I’ve gotta go out for a little bit but I promise I’ll be back in time to say goodnight, okay?” Ellie stands and presses a kiss to Clem’s forehead as she strokes the soft hair on her head.

“Okay Mama, I’ll miss you.”

“Oh you know I’ll always miss you more.” You stand and follow Ellie to the door kissing her sweetly before she ducks out leaving you and Clem to start her bedtime routine alone.

After her bath and three different books, Clem’s eyes were drooping and the yawn she tried and failed to hide was evident she’d be asleep soon. The sound of the door opening and closing let you relax and as Ellie walked in taking her place next to you at Clem’s bedside you smiled. She pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead. Clem cupped Ellie’s cheeks as she lazily opened her eyes smiling giddily, the love that was radiating from both of them warmed you, your heart sang, you could watch them forever and be perfectly happy with that. You were so wrapped up in your thoughts you didn’t notice them both turning to face you.

“Can you both cuddle me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course baby.” Ellie climbed over Clem’s body as you laid down on the other side of her. Clem cuddles into your chest as Ellie wraps her arm over the both of you, pulling you both in tighter to her. As Clem’s breathing slowed, you lifted your head slightly to look at Ellie who had been gently playing with Clem’s hair as she hummed a familiar tune to her. It reminded you of a time when your mother would sing the same song to you at bedtime.

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Hush little baby don’t say a word

Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird don’t sing

Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass

Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke

Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat doesn't pull

Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over

Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover

And if that dog named Rover won't bark

Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart

And if that horse and cart fall down

well you'll still be the sweetest baby in town.

“I love you Mommy.”

“I love you too sweetie, I always will, sweet dreams.” Your father had read to you after they both gave you your nighttime bath, indulging in your childish play letting you splash at them until the water went cold and you began to shiver. You smiled up at your father as he kissed your forehead goodnight leaving your mum to sing you the same tune she always sang to you before bed. Sometimes you'd sing along and sometimes you'd just listen to her melodic voice as you let her tune coax you to sleep.

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The memory haunted you, it had always been such a fond one but now it burned your skin and stung your eyes. You pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind as you sang along to the tune Ellie was gently humming and you could feel the new memories being attached to the song that took the aching pain in your chest away as if it was never there.

You and Ellie both sneak out of Clem’s room once she’s firmly asleep and walk downstairs to greet Dina and Jesse who were sat in your living room.

“Thanks so much for watching her guys. We won’t be long.” You smile at them before going to slip your shoes on. As you return Ellie smiles grimly at you.

“You ready?”

“Fuck yeah.” Your eyebrows furrowed as the sudden fire ignited within you once again.

“Oh I would be shitting myself if I was them right now.” Jesse laughed though it was clear he was serious.

“Have fun going full mama bears on their asses!” Dina calls out to you as you both make your way out the front door and start the walk to Timmy’s house. You were never going to let his parents get away with teaching their child to be so hateful but you didn’t want Clem to see this side of you.

Ellie knocked on their door and as it swung open revealing a disgruntled man you both pushed past him into his home without a word.

“Erm excuse you, what do you think you’re doing?”

“We want to have a chat Rick, get your wife and sit down.” Your voice was monotone and your face deadpan but his scowl did not fade and he remained unmoving.

“Are you deaf? Get your wife and sit down.” Ellie repeated as she stepped closer to him, her face stony and her voice low and menacing. You watched as his face morphed into a picture of fear and it only made you smile, he scurried off returning with his wife, both seating themselves on their sofa, fidgeting and clearly unnerved.

“I’m assuming the school told you what Timmy did today?” They nodded as a response to your question, their eyes flicking between you and Ellie.

“Mm and I bet you couldn’t have been prouder right?” Their silence was adding fuel to the fire and as you observed Ellie pacing slowly beside you, it was clear she felt the same.

“Listen, if you have a problem with us, we couldn’t care less. But if your issue with us ends with our child getting hurt again, then we need to do something about it.” Ellie's voice was calm as she came to stand over them. “If Timmy ever comes near Clem again, I promise you, you will be looking for a new place to live because I will hunt you both to the ends of the Earth. You’ll never be able to settle because I’ll always be just on your heels. Do you want that life for Timmy? Never knowing when he’d be left alone in the world because his parents hatred cost them their lives. This is your only warning. Keep your snotty little shit away from our Clem or we will make sure the last thing you see is us smiling over your bodies. Don’t give me an excuse to do it, because I’ll enjoy every last second of it.” Their faces drained of all their colour and the sight was exhilarating to you. Ellie was always so gentle with you and Clem so you rarely saw this side of her but the few reminders you got never failed to stick with you, knowing she was acting this way to protect Clem, it only warmed you more. She walked to the door leaving you scowling in front of them.

“If you think Maria won’t be hearing of this, you’re wrong, expect a visit from her tomorrow. You’re the reason her niece's daughter was hurt today, she won’t take that lightly. I’d watch your backs if I were you.” You grinned as they visibly gulped before strolling off to meet Ellie at the door, her face matching yours. The walk back to your home was filled with childish giggles as you recounted the looks on their faces.

Even as you walked through the door of your home to find Dina and Jesse cuddled up on the sofa, you still couldn’t stop giggling.

“Assuming it went well then?” Jesse questioned with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Oh yeah you should’ve seen their faces. Ellie went all ‘ah I’m so scary, I’m gonna hunt you down aghhh’ it was amazing!” You mocked Ellie’s deep, raspy voice that she had used while speaking to Timmy’s parents before bursting into laughter once again.

“I did not fucking sound like that! But it’s true, they shit their pants.” She looked smug as her chin raised to the air only causing you all to laugh more. You had been annoyed about yours and Ellie’s reputations after the few incidents over the past months that had painted you in a darker light but it served you both well today.

“That’s our girls!” Dina was beaming at you both as they stood.

“Thank you again for coming over on short notice. Did she wake up or anything?”

“No no, she’s been out like a light. Don’t keep thanking us anyway, we can use all the practise we can get.” Jesse breathed out as he rocked on his heels.

They said their goodbyes and left, leaving you and Ellie to collapse in bed, tired of the day.

“I know I joked but you going all scary to protect Clemmy was super fucking hot.” You cupped Ellie’s cheeks as you softly rubbed your nose against hers before resting your foreheads together with a smile.

“Hey it wasn’t just me, I heard what you said to them after I left the room. That was a nice touch.”

“Why thank you.” You giggled softly before your face turned sour again. “I just can’t believe we’re having to deal with shit like this. I mean, Ellie, she got fucking hit today. How many homophobes are there in this stupid fucking town?”

“I know, it’s ridiculous. This place is about as good as it gets and still, shit like this happens. I know what you mean about being done with it all but where do we even go you know?”

“Well I was thinking about that, remember that farm we stayed at before we found Clem, how perfect it was, how pretty the stars were from up there, how good the sex we had up there was hmm?” You dropped your voice seductively causing her eyebrows to shoot up. “We never got to go back and lock it up because of our little bundle of joy but I was thinking maybe Joel could watch her for a day and then Dina and Jesse have her for the night so we can go have a look around and see if it’s a viable option for us. I love our family, more than anything and the more I think about it just being us up there, the more I warm up to the idea, but obviously it’s close enough that we can still see everyone regularly and be connected to Jackson, what do you think?”

“Sounds fucking perfect babe. But I have one condition.”

“Oh yeah?”

“We have sheep, lots of ‘em, and a cow or two maybe, oh and we get to take Shimmer and Greg with us. We should have chickens too.”

“Sounds like more than one condition to me but I’m in.”

“You are going to make the cutest farmer.” She smirks at you as your eyebrows furrow.

“You’re going to be the farmer. I will sit pretty and watch you get your hands dirty.”

“Oh will you now?”

“Mhm you’re the one that wanted all the animals.”

“Well I suppose that’s fair. Do you think Clem will want to go?”

“El she’d follow you anyway, that girl has stars in her eyes when she looks at you. I think after today especially, she’ll be happy to go be farmers up in the hills.”

“Ah! So we will be farmers. I knew you’d see it my way.”

“You are ridiculous.”

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“Ellie look! It’s just up ahead, it looks fine oh my god I’m so excited!” You rushed out as you spurred Greg on towards the picturesque farmhouse that you had been dreaming about returning to since you left.

“Oh fuck yeah and it’s only taken us like an hour and a half to get here with the horses, it feels so far but so close at the same time.”

“I feel really fucking good about this babe!”

“Me too.” Ellie hummed and as you approached the gate you sucked a breath in, praying it would open freely.

“Ah!” You squealed as the gate swung open and you jumped off Greg barely managing to stop yourself from jumping about as you seemed one step closer to building a life there.

“Okay let’s stay alert just in case, you wanna sweep the house or the barn?” Ellie sounded serious but her voice failed to hide the giddiness in her as she hopped off of Shimmer and pressed a hand to the small of your back.

“Let’s do the barn together first so we can leave the horses in there and then go through the house, I wanna walk in there with you, this is a milestone!” You beamed causing her to chuckle and start leading you round the house and towards the barn.

Once the barn had been cleared and the horses were happily grazing on some hay you both walked back round to the porch, you practically leaping up the stairs and dragging Ellie behind you but before you could reach for the doorknob she yanked you back into her and pressed kisses from just below your ear down to your shoulder blade, swaying you both gently. There was a gentle breeze whistling through the air and it smelled so fresh and crisp, the air felt so much more cleansing than in Jackson, every breath you took making you feel light and renewed. A small white butterfly flew around you both before disappearing into the powder blue sky that was dotted with pristine, white clouds. There were patches of daffodils all over the field amongst other splotches of colourful flowers creating the most beautiful landscape.

“El come on- ah!” You were interrupted as Ellie lifted you bridal style into her arms and started fumbling with the door. “What are you doing?” You said through giggles.

“Practising for the real thing.” She nudged the door open and as you both walked through hearing nothing but sweet, serene silence you both snapped your heads towards each other and smiled. You grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss that felt like you were melting into each other before she gently put you down and walked you towards the dining room table opposite the front door, her lips never once leaving yours, it started tender as she explored your mouth with her tongue, lapping at yours slowly, but it soon grew hungry and desperate, the passion radiating off of both of you, she still tasted slightly minty from when she had brushed her teeth this morning and it cooled the growing heat slightly. Her hands grabbed and squeezed at any expanse of skin she could find as she groaned into your mouth, the sound making your knees weak, relying on her to keep you upright as she reduced you to a puddle of desperation with just her lips on yours. You could barely think straight, your mind being clouded, everything becoming hazy as she devoured you. As your thighs hit the back of the table she grabbed at them and lifted you to sit on the oak, pressing herself between your legs and gently grinding her hips into yours, you whined quietly and wrapped your legs tighter round her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to you while gripping onto her hair like she was anchoring you to this plane of existence. The friction of your cores rubbing together could’ve generated electricity, it felt like it was as the hair on the back of your neck stood and you shivered with need. Shockwaves of energy rippled through you as the temperature seemed to rise impossibly higher between you both until you each pulled away gasping for breath, a string of spit connecting your lips together like the tether wrapped around each of your hearts that had kept you closely bound to her since the day you met, even when you hadn’t spoken all those years, the tether still tugged you in her direction.

Ellie bit her lip as she quickly unbuttoned your jeans and yanked them down your legs with your assistance licking her lips at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear. “Someone’s pent up huh? All this from a little kissing? Need to take better care of you don’t I babe?”

“Mhm, quit stalling, I’m so wet it’s uncomfortable El, need you to clean me up.” She groaned at your words and immediately kneeled down on the floor wasting no time slipping your panties to the side and burying her face between your legs. You’d think she hadn’t eaten for days with the way she was sucking you dry, your clit throbbing in her lips as her fingers teased your entrance. She knew your body better than you did, not even having to search for the spongy spot inside of you that made your insides turn to liquid. It was so easy she was chuckling into you as your hips ground themselves into her. Her tongue was her paint brush and your pussy was her artwork as she swirled it around every inch of you, she’d swap from flattening her tongue and almost making out with your cunt to small kitten licks that had you keening and whimpering. Her fingers curled as they pumped in and out of you, each time she’d hit your g-spot you’d jolt and gasp, the feeling was so intense you wanted to squirm away but she had you tightly pulled against her with her free hand gripping onto your hip hard enough there’d be faint oval bruises in her hands absence. “Oh fuck, right there baby, I’m so close, shit-” With a long, harsh suckle on your clit, her tongue working circles around it at the same time, it seemed to be the only occasion where she could multi-task, your body tensed with your release, your hips bucking onto her fingers as you ride out your high. “Ah fuck- OW!” You suddenly exclaim cutting yourself off mid-moan. Ellie quickly jumped up to face you, her lips and chin shiny with your slick that looked comical against her panicked expression.

“Babe what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Fuck I’m sorry-”

“No, no you didn’t do anything. You were fucking amazing but I- I think I got a splinter in my ass.” You admit shamefully.

“No you fucking didn’t, oh my god turn around, let me see.” She couldn’t contain her laughter even as you frowned at her while hopping off the table and turning away from her. She pressed a hand to your back, bending you over the table and gently easing your underwear down your thighs as she inched close enough to your behind that you could feel her breath tickling your cheeks.

“Ellie stop being a perv, is there a splinter?”

“Ohh yeah, big one too, could see it from a mile away.”

“Why is your nose practically touching my ass then?”

“Because it’s really pretty.” You could practically hear the smirk in her voice before she made a sorrowful attempt at whistling that just sounded like air escaping through a slightly cracked window. You laughed and she smacked at your uninjured ass-cheek lightly.

“Ellie! Get the fucking splinter out!”

“Alright, alright. Ruining my fun you are.”

“I’m gonna ruin you when this splinter is out of my ass.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Both you heathen now hurry up!” She chuckled before quickly but gently removing the splinter earning a satisfied hum from you as you returned upright and faced her, unamused at her childish glee while inspecting the splinter between her thumb and index finger.

“So errr we should probably varnish this table or sand it or something before we move in here. Wouldn’t want Clem getting hurt.” Ellie declares.

“Oh yeah this is sooo about Clem and not just you imagining railing me nine ways to sunday on here.” You raise your eyebrows at her, you knew Ellie was thinking about making sure Clem didn’t get any splinters, but you also knew that wasn’t the reason for her comment. You were the one that worried about things like that, she was the one that would throw Clem over her head high enough that you’d gasp and scold her for how close Clem’s head was to hitting the ceiling. You frowned as she seemed completely unphased by your remark only staring at the splinter still.

“I’m keeping this, it’s a memento.”

“Ellie so help me god-”

“Relax babe, someone’s prickly.” She hunched over with laughter as you simply rolled your eyes and redressed yourself.

“You’re so unfunny.”

“Why are you always laughing then?”

“I really don’t like you right now.”

“Hey that’s not fair, I just made you cum in under like five minutes, that’s gotta be a record, be nice to me.”

“I’ll be nice to you when you drop the fucking splinter.” Without hesitation she turned away from you and hurled the splinter towards the front door.

“See, it’s gone, now kiss me woman.” She shut her eyes and puckered up her lips dramatically while making loud smooching sounds.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“Doesn’t sound like kissing!” She sang before puckering her lips again to which you relented and pressed your lips against hers, smiling into the kiss as her arms wrapped around your waist. “Goddamn I love you.” You giggled as you stepped away from her and spun round the room, taking in everything you had missed in your frenzied state. So much had happened in such a short space of time but the house, the house looked like it was frozen, everything exactly as you remembered it from before. It just felt right, it felt like home.

“So er now we’ve christened the place, how about we take a look around?” You suggested, the heat in your cheeks barely subsiding.

“Oh yeah, I wanna christen each room before we go.”

“You’re an animal.” She laughed as she followed you all throughout the house until you were in the kitchen, both gazing out of the window above the sink at the field that surrounded the property. The long grass was swaying in the wind, two doves landed on the fence in front of the window and their chirps were a melody you could listen to forever. The sun was beaming making everything look even more vibrant than it already did, the mountains creating the most beautiful backdrop. “Imagine teaching Clemmy all about the animals and how to grow fruit and vegetables in the sun, nothing but quiet all around.” As you spoke you could picture everything in your head like it was already reality.

“And sitting outside at night, looking at all the stars, looking for constellations.” She spoke into your neck where her face was nestled, her arms wrapped around your front, swaying you both gently.

“We can read together on the porch, bundle up in winter and have hot chocolate out there while we watch the snow fall.” You add.

“Teach Clem how to ride the horses, the fields big enough.”

“Yes! She’ll love running around with all the animals, I bet she’ll love the chickens.” You both chuckle at the notion.

“She’s gonna make one her pet and then we’ll have a house chicken.” Ellie huffed as if she was already being faced with Clem’s puppy eyes as she clutches the clueless chicken to her chest begging for it to be her pet.

“Bet she’ll call it Eggbert whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

“That sounds like something I would do.”

“That’s exactly my point.” You turn to face her over your shoulder and smile as she purses her lips and nods slowly, her eyes narrowing at your smug face before breaking out into the widest grin.

“Babe I fucking love it here, I can picture our lives here and everything. You still want this?” She spins you to face her, the smile adorning her features would have been enough to convince you to jump off a cliff if that was what she wanted.

“More than anything.”

“Then, as long as Clemmy’s okay with it, we’re moving.” You squeal and press your lips against hers as she squeezes you against her, lifting you from the ground slightly and spinning you around until she staggered to a stop. “Oh fuck I’m dizzy.” She rests her hands on her knees and takes a few deep breaths that have her back visibly rising and falling causing you to chuckle at her playfulness.

“Okay, we need to look at the fence, the water, the gas and the electric, I’ve got used to some comforts in Jackson that I’m not prepared to give up just yet.”

“Let’s look at the fence because I don’t know who you think I am babe but I will have no clue about any of the other things.” Ellie stands upright once again, her hands finding their place on her hips as she tilts her head slightly at you.

“Oh right me neither, that can be a job for Joel and Tommy.”

“They’ve got their uses.” She grabs your hand and drags you back outside where you both just stand for a minute admiring the view.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Look this can be Clemmy’s room! Maybe you could paint something on her wall for her El!”

“Fuck yeah but come on you, it’s been a long day and we need our beauty sleep.” You groaned as Ellie ushered you towards the master bedroom, you just wanted to stay and keep fantasising, but Ellie was right, you were tired and you wanted to wake up bright and early to get back to Clementine tomorrow.

You each slipped off your clothes, you climbed in bed as Ellie cracked the window slightly to let the cool, summer night air breeze into the room. The only sound that could be heard was the faint chirping of crickets and your breaths as you both settle into the bed, cuddling into one another. You looped your arms around Ellie’s waist and pressed your face into her chest as she softly scratched patterns into your back. Your legs entangled with each other's as your heartbeats synced, it was serene and you felt the calmest you had felt in as long as you could remember. It felt almost perfect, but you knew once Clem was here with you both it would be perfect. You breathed in, letting Ellie’s scent linger and blur your senses more as sleep dragged you further into its embrace, she had always smelt of fresh washing that had dried in the summer breeze, it was comforting, everything about her was comforting. Her soft skin moulding against yours, the steady rise and fall of her chest, the way she clutched onto you subconsciously, she was home to you, she was always home to you, even when you weren’t speaking for those years, she still offered the comfort you so desperately craved.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Are you okay?” You didn’t have to look up to know who it was, her voice was etched into your brain, all you wanted to do was leap into her arms and clutch onto her, never letting go but you couldn’t. You had already pushed her away until your time together was blurring memories swirling around your head. You had pushed her away to keep your relationship with your parents but it still wasn’t enough, it was never enough for them. You swore they wanted nothing to do with you, banishing you out of the house because you had got into a fight and refused to divulge why. Ellie was why, and that would’ve only angered them more.

You had been sitting in the park, reading a book when Petra and Suze had enclosed on you, sitting down by your side with smiles. “Hey bookworm, what ya reading?” Petra questions.

“Persuasion by Jane Austen, it’s so good, romance books will always have a special place in my heart.”

“Another romance book huh? We gotta get you out in the real world, Jason’s got his eye on you, you know, we could set you two up.” Suze quirked her eyebrow as you grimaced.

“As much as that offer is so tempting, I’d rather stab myself in the eye repeatedly than go out with Jason.”

“What? What’s wrong with him?” He’s a guy and he’s not Ellie, you missed her every minute of everyday, Petra and Suze were a nice distraction but they were nothing like Ellie, you just wanted Ellie.

“I don’t know, I’m just not interested in him like that, he’s so full of himself, there wouldn’t be enough room in the relationship with me and his huge ego.” They both giggled at your harsh tone.

“Well that’s fair.” Silence settled around you as you watched the scenery, people-watching had always been one of your favourite pass-times but you found yourself doing it more now you were constantly searching for the auburn hair you used to run your fingers through, you had convinced yourself you’d seen her this time, that wasn’t a part of your imagination like it often was but Petra’s words confirmed you had actually been seeing her this time.

“Ugh there goes the town dyke. God she’s so fucking weird.”

“I know right, why would they even let her in? Throw her to the wolves I say.” Suze snickered and everything went red, your ears rang and your vision blurred, you only remember being yanked off of Suze as Petra lay just a foot away wheezing and coughing, cursing you under her breath.

Your parents had screamed, thrown things at you, yanked you by their iron grip around your wrists to barricade you in your room when you refused to explain why you had so viciously attacked the girls that were supposed to be your friends. You sobbed and sobbed until you heard your dad shifting whatever he had used to keep your bedroom door shut tightly. He didn’t speak, didn’t look you in the eye, just dragged you out of your room and straight outside where he shut the door after uttering. “Find somewhere else to sleep tonight.” That was it. You were on your own and the rain that started to pour from the heavens mirrored your mood as you wandered aimlessly until your legs grew weak and you collapsed by a tree, desperately hoping it would shelter you from the torrential downpour.

“Hey I said are you okay?” Ellie nudged your shoe with hers as you sniffled and spared a glance up at her only to bury your head back into your knees that you were holding to your chest with a small shake of your head. “Why are you outside in this weather? You’re gonna get sick. Go home.” Her tone wasn’t nasty but it wasn’t soft and sweet like it used to be with you, it was a slap on the cheek that you thoroughly deserved.

“I can’t” You weakly whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear, she kneeled down and stroked a hand down your hair, beckoning you to meet her worried gaze.

“They kick you out again?”

“Mhm.”

“What was the reason this time?”

“I fucked up Petra and Suze and I wouldn’t tell them why, they love Petra and Suze more than me so they’re really pissed.”

“Why’d you fight them?”

“Doesn’t matter.” You wouldn’t meet her eyes, you just stared off into the distance, occasionally hiccupping as a result of your sobbing.

“Get up.”

“Just leave me alone please Ellie.” She was too painful of a reminder of how alone you were, you’d rather be actually alone than in her presence.

“Just get up, c’mon. You’re not sleeping out here tonight. If you get struck by lightning I’ll feel kinda responsible.” Her tone was lighter than it had been and you chuckled slightly as you took her hand and let her pull you from the ground, immediately turning on her heel and letting you trail along behind her back to her home. You considered just disappearing from your place behind her, you doubted that she would notice before you were long gone as she seemed to avoid looking at you like she’d turn to stone if she did.

Her garage was exactly as you’d remembered it with a couple new additions to the trinkets that littered every surface and wall. You had always loved it here, it was so much more inviting than your home. You used to let yourself in and immediately flop down on her sofa like you owned the place but now you just stood by the door, shivering and fidgeting unsure of what to do from here. Ellie was busy at her makeshift kitchen, milling through cupboards and drawers.

“Have you eaten?” She turned to face you for the first time since she had found you and frowned at your uncomfortable demeanour. “Just sit down or something, you’re making me feel weird just looking at you.” She snapped, immediately regretting it as you flinched and dragged yourself to the sofa like she’d throw you out if you hadn’t. “Sorry, have you eaten?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s not what I asked though is it? Have you eaten? Yes or no?”

“Yeah.”

“Fucking liar.” She bit her lip as your eyes flashed to hers, guilt painted all over your features. She couldn’t see you like this, it was too hard to not just wrap you in her arms and tell you everything would be okay, that she’s here for you, you wouldn’t let her do that and she couldn’t let herself so she just turned back towards the kitchenette and began making some dinner for you both. “You know where my clothes are, don’t sit in those wet clothes, if you wanna take a shower to warm up you can.”

“I’m-”

“For fuck’s sake can you stop being so fucking stubborn and just take care of yourself? Go warm up and put on some dry clothes.” She sniped leading you to rush away from her and into the bathroom without another word. “Shit.” She muttered as the bathroom door slammed shut, she was kicking you while you were down and she felt horrible but she couldn’t control herself around you, if she could she would’ve pretended she hadn’t seen you earlier and kept walking. She heard the shower turn on and faintly through the pattering of the water she heard sniffles and choked sobs that led her to press her ear to the door trying to listen in closer. It was clear as day, the sound of your sobs that you thought the shower muffled, her heart clenched and her skin itched as it felt like it was constricting around her, choking the air out of her. She stayed at the door, just listening, she knew she should’ve given you privacy but she felt glued to the wood separating you both, she only moved when the sound of the soup bubbling beckoned her over to turn the heat on the cooker down. She went to go back to the door but the sound of the shower turning off sent her leaping in the complete opposite direction, sitting at her desk and forcing herself to keep her eyes planted on the comic that had been resting atop as you walked out in a towel, her towel and shuffled over to the drawers where she kept her pyjamas.

She dished up the soup and handed you a bowl wordlessly before going back to the desk to eat hers, the tension was palpable between the both of you, the only sound filling the room being small metallic clinks of your spoons hitting the bowls over and over again as you scraped the remnants of the soup from the bowl. “Sorry it’s not much.”

“Thank you Ellie.” You walked over to her and took her bowl going to the sink to wash them up for her, it was the least you could do.

“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No I’m not taking your bed too.”

“Just-” She went to snap but sucked in a breath and calmed herself down. “Just take the bed, please.” You breathed deeply before nodding your head and skulking over to the bed where you had once stayed almost every other night, climbing in cautiously, subconsciously crawling over to ‘your’ side of the bed.

“Thanks, night Ellie.”

“Night.” It didn’t take long for sleep to overtake you, you were exhausted and your head was pounding, sleep providing the much-needed reprieve from the emotions of the day.

The first thing your eyes focused on as you woke was Ellie’s sleeping form on the sofa, curled up under a blanket, her face was peaceful, washed of the scowl that typically took over her features around you now. Suddenly everything hit you like a brick and it felt like the air was getting sucked out of you as you rushed to change back into your clothes and get out of there as quickly and as quietly as possible. You were out of the door in under five minutes and the guilt only weighed you down with every step you took away from Ellie. She had been kind and helped you in a time of need and you ran off without a word. You didn’t know what you would say, how you could face her, it was too painful, going back to your home and facing the wrath of your parents would be kinder to your heart than staying with Ellie any longer.

Ellie woke, eyes immediately scanning the room for you but as soon as she noticed you were gone without a warning, without a goodbye, she felt like she was losing you all over again and her eyes welled with tears as she pressed her face into her palms and cried softly.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Hi baby! Oh we missed you, did you have fun with Uncle Jesse and Auntie Dina?” You squeezed Clem to your chest until you heard a little squeak leave her lips prompting you to release her and tuck a loose strand of her soft waves behind her ear.

“Yes! Uncle Jesse showed me how to play catch and Auntie Dina helped me make cookies, I have some to bring home!” Clem beamed before Ellie scooped her up and spun her around, eliciting giggles from the small girl.

“Aren’t you a lucky girl? Say thank you kiddo.” Ellie pressed a sweet kiss to Clem’s cheek as she propped her on her hip and bounced her slightly.

“Thank you! You guys are the best.” Clem’s happiness rubbed off on all of you as you all chuckled. You both thanked them profusely before leaving to go to Joel’s, you wanted to thank him in person also and you needed to discuss the move with him.

As you walked, Clem in the middle of you both, gripping onto your hands, she rambled and rambled about her time away from you both until she hummed quietly, signalling she was done. “Can you swing me? Can we swing? Can we, can we? Pleaseee.” You and Ellie both smiled at her before swinging her into the air from her arms. She’d do a jump into it each time and giggled sweetly as she soared through the air between you both. By the time you reached Joel’s, yours and Ellie’s arms ached and Clem seemed tired and subdued, her tiredness only being confirmed as you entered Joel’s and she immediately took herself to the sofa to lay down instead of running straight outside to her playset.

“Hi Joel, thanks so much for watching her yesterday. Didn’t give you too much trouble did she?”

“Oh not at all, she was an angel as always, how was your trip?” You and Ellie glanced at each other before beaming at him.

“It was perfect, you gotta see this house Joel, it’s a farmhouse with a fence around the property that’s completely intact, it’s got a barn, and the house has a wraparound porch, the view is amazing, it’s perfect.” Ellie rushed out as she sat at his dining table where he had already situated himself.

“So you wanna move there?” You both nodded hesitantly, anticipating his reaction. “Well me and Tommy will have to get up there, have a look and see if it’s functional, but if ya wanna do this and it’ll make ya happy, I support ya. I heard what happened to Clem the other day.” He didn’t have to finish his sentence, you all understood what he was saying. It seemed you had outgrown Jackson and he wanted you to be happy, he wanted Clem to be happy and carefree. “We’ll all pitch in and get ya up there.”

“Thank you Joel, we can’t tell you how much we appreciate this.” Your voice croaked slightly as you tried to hold in the tears of joy that welled in your eyes.

“Well I can see this makes ya happy and that’s all I want.”

“You’re really something old man.” Ellie chuckled, a smile so wide you expected her cheeks to ache as she looked between you and him, grabbing your hand and squeezing.

“You told Clemmy yet?”

“No actually, we wanted to speak to you first before we told her but we’ll talk to her about it today.” Ellie replied.

“I’m sure she’ll jump at the idea.”

“That’s what I said.” You looked to the girl dozing on the sofa as you spoke and everything felt like it was falling into place, your life being mapped out in front of you, the sight making your body buzz with excitement.

tags: @emiliabby@readbydayana@radioheadfan699@lil-elliesgf@isitadinosaur@amberputh@maelovescashew@a-little-bit-of-everybody@moonspowder@bready101

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #tlou ellie #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x you

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tumblingxelian · 9 months ago

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The Semblance of Chloe Bourgeois

So, while currently on an ML hyperfixation, my decade long love of RWBY has never faded. As a result I tend to love looking other franchises characters and thi8nking about their potential Semblances.

IE, the manifestation of their Soul in the form of a power, usually awakened either naturally through time & effort or via trauma/survival which serves as a window into the characters identity & if it evolves, their growth.

This led to Chloe thoughts, as it typical of me.

I know most people give her a spin on Venom and that's fair, tis a very believable Semblance. But I also think it doesn't dig deep enough because Chloe's ties to paralysis came from a Miraculous, not herself.

No, what I think Chloe's Semblance would be is a form if mimicry!

This is quite possible in canon, book protag Velvet Scarletina can mimic people's fighting styles & created a weapon that lets her project hard light copies of their weapons to utilize it best.

We also have backstory character, Marcus Black who could literally steal people's Semblances, doing so to his son as a means of control... It didn't pan out & Mercury beat him to death XD

So there's several ways it could manifest but all of them would align well with Chloe. Who built so much of her identity around copying her mother, trying to adopt roles to suit a situation over "Being herself" and tried to copy Ladybug as well. This is a deep part of her character and it doesn't need to be healthy to be a Semblance.

What's more, it could easily factor into all of her self esteem issues. From lacking a strong sense of self. To a lack of real ego as she knows "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery mediocrity can pay to greatness". Said Semblance likely has limits. But! But it would be impressive enough that she could boast about it on a surface level.

More below:

1: Combat Style mimicry: This would let Chloe memorize and mimic how people move, talk and fight. Whether these memories are perfect and last forever, or are only one use, or can be lost by simply forgetting them is up in the air.

But the end result is it would definitely allow her to coast a bit through training, but also leave her feeling she lacks a distinct style in herself. Let alone the fact it likely feels like she'll never 'master' any of them, just keep collecting little stolen fragments of what others have.

2: Soul Witness: Just by seeing a persons Semblance, Chloe is able to essentially recreate it. However her version is watered down, weaker and almost certainly temporary if not one use, or perhaps only lasting a day.

This is again, extremely potent in theory, and in a combat School or Academy or tournament environment, its more than a little broken. Because so long as she has Aura she can keep switching up Semblances. But at the end she knows the imitation is weaker & she is always left empty at the end of the day.

3: Soul Touch: Like the above, Chloe can copy people's Semblances, but here she needs to physically touch them to do so. This allows for a perfect copy, but not instant mastery or control & as before likely fades with time or will be replaced by the next Semblance she takes.

Powerful and theoretically versatile, she has plenty to be proud of, but it is also only as strong as the last Semblance she took, only as effective as Chloe herself is, only as good of a decision to take it as she made. So it keeps coming back to Chloe not being enough.

Conclusion: As I said above, Semblances can evolve, Lie Ren went from subtly empathic and able to suppress his & others emotions to a full on empath capable of perceiving and understand other people's emotions at a glance as he overcame his unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I am unsure how a Semblance like mimicry would evolve if Chloe came into having a better head space regarding her own identity, or the Semblance itself. Though its possible it wouldn't need to change, but merely be her perspective that needs an update. Like how Qrow came to realize his Semblance that caused passive misfortune had more to do with his own self loathing than it did it being like a curse.

But those are just my thoughts, hope they were interesting!

#chloe bourgeois #ML #RWBY #miraculous ladybug

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id0what1want · 1 year ago

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Amarys and Cereza

In my opinion, Drayton already introduces so much of a love triangle (that he is totally just using to get on Kieran's nerves) that I see absolutely no reason to pit these two against each other when obviously they would make hilarious friends. Here are my sources on Cereza's side: Cereza has a soft spot for steel types. Her biggest idol is Peony, a steel type specialist (and also her best friend's DAD, I'll definitely delve deeper into her best friendship with Penny someday), she admires Steven Stone because in her words "I have functioning eyeballs that can see", and two of her Pokémon are steel types (partially because of aforementioned idols). So Cereza is taking the Amarys fight seriously, she's being attentive and is buying a little bit into the "fighting over who gets to save Kieran" spiel. She even listens to the after spiel of Amarys taking her defeat so gracefully. Then Cereza can't take it. She runs up to Amarys with an excited grin, practically starstruck as she grabs Amarys's shoulders saying "YOU ARE SO COOL!!!" and lets go and just rants about how awesome that battle was and how she thinks that Amarys is basically the bomb.com. "I mean I had to clench my jaw to keep it from DROPPING when you whipped out that Metagross- I got Steven Stone level chills and that's saying something, have you SEEN that man?" She goes on like this until Amarys gathers her bearings (the outburst startled her, needless to say) and clears her throat and politely asks "Would you like a photo to-" and she doesn't even finish before Cereza is gasping and giggling with excitement with a "Hell yeah!" Anyway, Amarys and Cereza are now unconventional besties, she, Cereza, and Carmine get to have sleepovers in Carmine's room in which they have to trick Amarys into coming over since it's technically against the rules. I also thought of a scene where Amarys would take the gang on a tour of Castelia City, her hometown, and her schedule of places to hit is so jampacked that the gang spends practically no time in any given location. It sucks a lot of the fun from the trip and the gang is starting to get tired of it. Cereza sees this and asks Amarys if there are any places that are special that she can highlight, any big points and Amarys just freezes as she looks at her list, dead silent as the decision paralysis sets in. Cereza realizes it's because Amarys has a lot of pride and love for her hometown and suggests "Hey, let's stop by a cafe and work out the schedule while the gang wanders and revisits the places they didn't get to fully experience, kay?" That way Amarys can fix her schedule (which Cereza recognizes is important to her) while also getting to talk to Cereza about all the places she loves about the city. Time flies by and before the girls know it, it's time to go. Amarys apologizes for not actually taking Cereza to all the places she talked about, and Cereza grins and says "the way you talked about it, it's like I was right there with you" Anyway, second love triangle demolished. I'm going after Drayton next. No love triangle is safe.

✨Do whatever you want forever✨

~ Cytoplasm

#amarys #dipplinshipping #juliana x kieran #juliana x kieran pokemon #kieran x mc #kieran x oc #oc x canon #pokemon kieran #pokemon sv #rival kieran #the indigo disk #drayton #blueberry academy #carmine #amarys pokemon #cereza pokemon

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a-personiftranslator · 8 months ago

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varholt trauma ideas because i saw this

today and i think blorbostate number 2 is the one who will be forgiven of all her crimes ❤️ andolont made her do it anyway >:( /hj and also she has pretty privilege

i think it would be really funny if andolont actually knew fuck all about how to fight and it was just varholt carrying her the whole time (in reality she’s competent varholt’s just better and also andolont’s always been kind of a coward when she isn’t heavily drunk so she’d use her sister as a human shield)

in actual things that are not me acting like a simp on the mezfllok varholt is. so heavily repressed. the facial expressions she will allow herself to have range from very happy to mildly displeased. i assume her government talks about that reputation the way the japanese government talks about the world war 2 crimes it drives kuft alum and most anyone else who was her victim and spends time in her presence insane. and they just have to go along with her narrative because she’s yk rich and they probably rely on her for food. and she is genuinely nicer now. so they keep it to themselves when they’re sober but nobody ever goes out drinking with varholt because old hurts WILL make themselves known.

nobody ever goes out drinking with varholt also because she is an alcoholic (substance abuse runs in the norgri family tbh) though unlike andolont she knows its an issue and is trying to quit. unsuccessfully because when she knows her facade is close to breaking she relapses, which usually ends up with her destroying her room and once she nearly stabbed her king. she didn’t even remember doing it because she was blacked out

(varholt is very violent when she’s more than tipsy though since her alcohol tolerance is so high it is also difficult to get her more than tipsy)

also she does miss andolont sometimes. she’d rather fall on a sword than admit it because at least falling on a sword is something she’s done before

she is prone to sleep paralysis. her sleep paralysis demon varies but tends to look like her sister and her father

she wasn’t treated badly at all under andolonsk rule since she was considered a slightly different kind of andolonsk, andolont just didn’t comprehend that she could have a differing opinion on anything as a result, which meant the only decisions varholt made were on the battlefield. one of the only ways you can tell varholt’s feeling particularly bad is when she hesitates on simple questions, like she’s waiting for someone to respond for her, and she’s pretty quiet to begin with (she only speaks when spoken to and when she really has something she needs to say) so good luck

she dresses surprisingly modestly (much to the chagrin of certain people on the mezfllok that uh. definitely do not include me. definitely) because she has some obvious skin allografts on her thighs and especially her stomach from her fields being burned down in the sumralandi independence war (stomach because that’s near the uterus and uh, fertility metaphor) and she does not like to be reminded of that

#tw alcohol #tw substance abuse #varholtposting #beyond the ice wall #personifposting #STJ #countryspirits #headcanon #she is very important to me

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crystalelemental · 8 months ago

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As of today, I have finished Pokemon Platinum. Which means the remaining writeups will be...a while from now. Hopefully not too long. I am kind of in a state of just wanting to blitz through now. Platinum has been a long standing favorite that, in recent years, is lagging in the polls compared to Emerald. But having replayed it, how do I now feel about this delightful game?

Still generally positive. My team was super goofy this time. Beautifly (Naive), Pachirisu (Impish), Flareon (Bashful), Lopunny (Bold), Gardevoir (Sassy), and Octillery (Quirky). Almost entirely stinkers.

Now okay, given my team, it may be odd to say "Platinum thrives on its difficulty," but it's true. I think the takeaway, though, is how different it is from Emerald.

Boss battles follow a less guided structure. By which I mean, you can see the arc of Emerald, teaching skills and then giving counterplay. Platinum has counterplay but less teaching. It kind of expects you to know how to play, then does things like applies Leech Seed in the grass gym to overcome a possible Bronzor, Vespiquen, or Drifloon. Stuff like that. However, by the League, it becomes apparent what Platinum is about.

Platinum aims to make itself balanced by being restrictive with tools. Boosting TMs do not exist in this game. They're behind the BP paywall of the Battle Frontier, and I would never recommend that given how expensive they are and how little BP you acquire for hours of work. It also removes Thunder Wave, which is wild. Taking away these tools is a questionable decision, because it limits the player's access to options, which is generally not a favorite move.

But, consider how Emerald went. The most effective strategy is the one everyone likes using: four attacks. So Platinum leans into that by taking away other tools, and saying "just hit each other with sticks." This creates interesting situations, where lack of easy paralysis means my Pachirisu actually had value with high-paralysis moves, or Gardevoir and Alakazam's access to natural Calm Mind making them extremely valuable. It's restrictive, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't work for it.

Talking about challenge in Platinum is impossible without discussing what makes Cynthia the boss fight she is. There's a lot to go over, but I am surprised they don't take this approach more often.

Cynthia's fight has max IVs on all her Pokemon. Your Pokemon do not have this, guaranteed. What you do have in your favor is EVs, which are generally allocated evenly, about 80 per stat. Essentially, the numbers game to work out with Cynthia is whether your +20 at level 100 is enough combined with your EV rolls to match +31 at level 100 that she has. These numbers are absolute, because this is the first game to not have a form of Badge Boosting for your stats. Usually achievable, but not by much. Cynthia is interesting because she has her own tools working in her favor that offset the benefits the player has been reaping the entire game. She's the first one to really turn that toggle off, and even without tracking numbers, you can feel how ridiculous it is from how hard Garchomp hits, to how bulky Milotic and Spiritomb are.

But this is where the aforementioned restrictions come into play. Cynthia is staggeringly weak to setup. Spiritomb lacks for direct offensive pressure, so any setup sweeper has an incredibly easy time with her fight. Try running a Dragon Dance Altaria some time, you'll see what I mean. Even with Alakazam and Gardevoir, their higher speed and Calm Mind's Sp Def boosts means they can start to outpace it, if you're willing to use some healing items to stay in the game. My personal solution was Agility + Charge Beam Lopunny Baton Passing to Octillery who took out everything in one shot. It could've worked with Beautifly too, with a bit better luck.

On the one hand, by removing the tools she's weak to, the game forces you to play its way and ups the challenge of this particular boss fight. On the other, for Pokemon that do have access to tools she doesn't counter well? They're ridiculous. And Altaria and Lopunny are not exactly powerhouses, yet they contribute more to Cynthia's fight than a lot of pure offensive Pokemon. It's especially important to note that the usual solution in box legends doesn't work here. Cynthia's Garchomp is super-effective against all three major legends, and is naturally much faster, with perfect IVs. She's the only final boss so far to not get bopped by the major legends you can acquire. But she can be easily counterplayed by Altaria. Which is really funny.

Now of course, all this comes at a tradeoff. Specifically, when your advantage tools are turned off, it is more essential to keep at their approximate level. Which, in many situations, means grinding.

I will not front, Platinum's level scaling is not bad, but it can be felt painfully in some situations. The main game is generally fine, with the segments where a partner will heal your team after each battle being great spots to catch up Pokemon lagging in the level department. But no, it's postgame that really struggles.

Finally, I deliver on what I've been talking about all these posts: Pokemon postgames have a problem, and I think I've finally figured it out. The streamer I've been watching talking about Gen 2, saying that a feature he liked was that even into Kanto, you were often still working on building up your Pokemon. This is true! I didn't finalize my Togetic build until very late into Kanto. But it's the feeling about that which I can finally describe.

In main game Platinum, I am familiar with EV training spots. Taking time to train in these spots never feels like a chore to me, because in my mind, it's solving multiple problems. (1) I need to level up a bit. (2) If I reach X level, I can learn Y move, which is better damage/specific utility. (3) I can specifically work on improving my stats in a way I find beneficial toward this Pokemon's main function. It takes time, but I'm solving multiple problems, and thus it feels very purposeful.

By postgame, my movesets are built, and my EVs are capped. And yet, my level 57 ass now contends with a postgame that feels long but still doesn't have enough EXP to close the gap to Cynthia's new level 78 Garchomp. It took three tries to win when she was less than 10 levels above us. Now she's more than 20. That is untenable, and the only solution really is Gym Leader rematches, which are locked by the day, or bashing my face into the League. These are solutions! But they are not great ones. And when the only thing you're looking to do is make your level bigger, it's no longer building something, it's just meeting an arbitrary goalpost.

This is a problem for a lot of postgames in Pokemon. You're usually done by the time postgame gets rolling, and by then all you really seek out is an isolated challenge. Big areas to travel through with a ton of random battles is no longer appealing, because you don't need anything like that. But the isolated challenge of a bigger league is, in all likelihood, out of your range. So you do the long extra areas, and they now feel long. It's unpleasant.

Mechanically, I have to mention the Physical/Special split. By and large, this was a wild positive. This decision is what make Beautifly actually fun to use here; absolutely great improvements with access to Bug Buzz and Shadow Ball. There were a few losers to this adjustment, but by and large it's all upside. The only thing that bears mentioning is that now EVs can feel wasted, given that you can stack all your moves to one offensive type. But, because of HMs, you're likely still using both in most situations.

The most important thing to talk about though is the mythology. I love Sinnoh mythology, I think this is the best region solely for that. The concepts it presents are fascinating. And you get some really good characters out of this with Cynthia and Cyrus and Barry and Rowan. But it does feel like a shift. None of the gym leaders (barring Gardenia) really stand out as having any personality. Compared to Gens 2 and 3, this region's overall cast feels less interesting, in exchange for what feels like a lot of refinement of its big players. As an additional quick note, while I love the legends, the dex itself is by and large one of my less favorites. I don't really like many of the new Sinnoh additions. I could not tell you why.

At this point in time, I am willing to say, I prefer Emerald to Platinum now. Emerald just feels stronger overall, with no particularly weak areas to speak of, while Platinum has a few issues that are harder for me to look past now. I still adore Platinum, that's never going to change. But it's no longer my golden child.

Diamond and Pearl Corner I do not own Diamond or Pearl, and haven't since Platinum came out. I lent it to my cousin and never saw it again. Sometimes I lament its loss.

BDSP being such a one-to-one remake, I can at least identify a lot of the differences, and they're all kinda worse. I don't mind that Fantina's gym 5, but I feel like all the teams are worse, the lack of all the evolution Pokemon until postgame is worse, etc. I don't have much to say here, but I also have no interest in getting Diamond or Pearl. They just don't feel nearly as significant to me.

#pokemon gen 4 #pokemon replays

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bcbdrums · 1 year ago

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The Voice - ch. 3

Previous Chapter | First Chapter Read on: FFn | AO3

A Drakgo (Kim Possible) suspense and hurt/comfort story. Spoilers here, lol. Enjoy.

A/N: So like....my writing style... When I first wrote this I wrote it as one giant narrative, like most my stuff. So breaking it into chapters is kind of tricky. If it feels like they start and end abruptly or something...it's cuz this was never meant to be chapters. But posting 50K word fics in one lump (like I prefer...) is kinda frowned upon I guess, lol. So chapters it is. Anyway, hope y'all are enjoying.

Part 3

He paused a moment before standing as the cave opened up, catching his breath. Dragging Shego with the rain pouring down on his face had been difficult.

After he stood and carried Shego into the larger chamber, he debated a moment before setting her down at the highest and driest spot, propping her up to face the side of the room with the puddle and the ray of red sun that was bringing a bit of light to the cave.

He sighed shakily when the task was done and reached up to wipe his face...and then paused as he found one of his gloves to be muddied. He looked at Shego and saw streaks of mud on her legs and on her arms and middle from where he had carried her. He moved to kneel in front of her and started to wipe the mud off.

"I'm just...getting the mud off of you," he said, looking to where her head had lolled to the side. He also noticed that the four bleeding wounds had darkened where the blood was starting to coagulate. He couldn't decide if it was good or bad...because if her body's functions slowed more gradually, it would only prolong her suffering.

He scowled and took his gloves off and tossed them aside, and then took off his lab coat, which was covered in mud. He noted that the inside was still dry and clean, and after a moment spread it out against the wall. He almost moved Shego to sit on it until realizing that she was still wet. He would move her when she was dry.

He picked up one of the bags of chips and was about to tear into it when he realized it would be unfair to eat in front of Shego when she couldn't.

She would never eat again.

Feeling sick to his stomach, he tossed the bag aside. He pushed his hair out of his face, and then did the same for her. He thought a moment and wrung the water out of her hair, and then lifted her head to try to lean it in a way that was more upright.

"So...so the paralysis...will last a long time," he explained. He tried to think of what she may be thinking and what questions she would ask. "I'm not sure how long since...we don't know how much venom the spider injected."

He looked at her still face. In his mind, he could hear her yelling about how it was all his fault, and how if he knew about spiders then he should be doing something to solve the problem.

"Um...when the rain stops, I'll try to fix the hover-car again. And then we'll go to a hospital. We're close to home. I know it hurts, but...it won't make a difference if we wait."

He stood up quickly and moved out of her line of sight as he felt the threat of tears in his eyes again. He was lying to her, but he also wasn't. It wouldn't make a difference to wait...because nothing could be done.

He turned and looked down at her again and made the decision not to be quite so selfish. He sat down next to her and cautiously held her gloved hand in his bare one. He moved near enough to press his dry shoulder into her wet one, and reached up again to brush the damp hair back. That time he pulled it all the way back so it wouldn't fall in her face again, and he stared at her half-lidded eyes.

"Would you like your eyes open, or closed?" he asked. He knew she wouldn't be able to answer. "If it keeps raining...and we have to sleep here, then I'll close them for you. Uhm..." He looked down to where he held her hand. He wondered if she wouldn't like it, and if she would rather he wasn't leaning up against her side. "If...if you don't like me being so close, you can...use me for target practice later. I was just thinking...if the spider had gotten me and I was paralyzed, I would want someone...I would want...you...close to me."

He bit his lip and mentally kicked himself. There couldn't possibly be a worse time to be talking about his feelings.

They had been on three dates. Only three. And each had only gone 'okay' as far as he was hoping. Shego hadn't left the dates early or set anything on fire, but she hadn't seemed as thrilled as he was either. None of the dates had ended with her smiling. But, she kept saying yes to his invitations... They were supposed to have gone on another at the upcoming weekend.

Tears filled his eyes again as he realized it would never happen. He would never get to tell her...that he loved her.

He wiped his eyes as quietly as he could with his free hand. He couldn't do it... He couldn't tell her something so important when she couldn't respond, and when she was dying... It wasn't fair. Especially if she didn't feel the same, then it would only make everything worse.

He sighed and looked back at her still face. Her lips were slightly parted, and he could see wetness at one corner of her mouth. Rain? Saliva? He held his breath and set his fingers beneath her chin and felt for her carotid artery...

"I'm just checking how fast your pulse is..." he said as he stared into her half-lidded eyes. The fear that he could have been talking to a corpse for the past twenty minutes nearly choked him, and he sighed in relief as he felt her heart beating strong, but far too rapidly beneath his fingers. He let himself gently stroke her cheek before he returned his hand to his lap, and then mentally kicked himself. That could have been very unwelcome.

"Sorry..." he said.

He took a deep breath and thought about what he would actually do when it stopped raining. He would have to fix the hover-car eventually...since he wasn't about to leave Shego to find help without any transportation. And not when giant monster-spiders were around, and perhaps even worse things.

"I think I can have the hover-car fixed...pretty quickly, when the rain stops. I really think it was just a blown fuse... I can replace it with another from a non-essential feature..."

Drakken's brow furrowed as a memory suddenly struck him. Of all things to think about, on the very worst day of his life...

"That actually reminds me...of this one camping trip with Cousin Eddie... I know you don't like him, so...so you'll like this story," Drakken continued. "It was the summer before I moved to Colorado. He said I needed to have one last adventure since I had...become so nerdy and lame, and that he was going to rekindle my wild side. He did that air guitar thing, you know, where he plays it really lamely... That's how he described me.

"It started badly since he insisted we just take the bikes, and I knew we couldn't take enough camping gear on motorcycles. But he insisted. He said we didn't need tents, that real men just slept in the dirt... We started at a camp site and then hiked out to be in the woods and somewhere more private. I was glad for that since the camp site was full and...it was embarrassing just to come in on motorcycles with almost no supplies. And there were...some really cute girls at one of the camp sites. Th-that's important."

Drakken swallowed nervously as he recalled the memory. He wondered if it was okay to talk about past romantic interests with Shego... His chest tightened in pain again as he realized that his relationship with Shego was over. He tried to shake off the thought and continued talking.

"And...I promise I'll get to how this is relevant," he said, knowing Shego would be complaining if she could. "It was all fine at first... I was cold at night since we didn't have sleeping bags, and Eddie ate all of the snacks that first night. And drank most of the booze... Not that I wanted much, I was never much of a drinker... And I was nervous since we didn't have any tents or other protection. Eddie told me that real men wrestled the bears into submission."

Drakken rolled his eyes. He glanced at Shego. "I'm rolling my eyes right now... So anyway...the next day Eddie went for a ride while I had no food. I had already decided the trip was worthless and was getting ready to leave. But then Eddie came back and said the cute girls from the other camp site were in the lake...s-skinny dipping. And he hauled me up onto the back of his bike before I could say no, and we drove to the lake. Eddie..." Drakken sighed in disdain, "didn't waste any time. He took his clothes off and stepped out of trees in full view of the world... He has a very overrated opinion of his body, if you want to know. I was so mad at him that I...nyeheh...I pulled out one of the fuses on his bike and tossed it away into the forest. It only took a second, he didn't notice. But then he had turned around and grabbed me and...started pulling my clothes off too. Please...don't picture that, I looked awful before college.

"So Eddie pushed me out of the trees with him to join the girls... I think he had been drinking that morning too... I kept trying to hide behind trees, and the girls saw us and...after they'd hidden themselves in the water they started laughing. Eddie tried to play it off... Tried to make jokes about how good he looked... He wouldn't let me go, so I finally ran down into the water to hide. Eddie stood up on a large rock and started flexing, and posing. The girls kept laughing and Eddie finally got in and approached them. He was actually able to strike up a conversation. But when he tried touching one of them they got into a splash fight. Two of the girls ran off, but the others stayed... One of them even apologized to Eddie for the splashing, which I thought was completely absurd... And it turns out— Ah...I won't get ahead of myself.

"Anyway, Eddie is talking to them and then he mentions me... He said that between the two of us we could...we could satisfy all of them. I have never wanted to kill my cousin more than that moment..." Drakken grumbled. "And one of the girls said that wouldn't be a problem, that we'd already given them enough entertainment. They said if we came near them again they would call the police. And then they got out of the water and left. Eddie tried begging...and cat-calling them... I was too embarrassed to even look. And after they left I ran back up to where the bike was parked. Do you remember...I said two of the girls had run away before? They stole our clothes. The others were just distracting us. They stole my clothes and I hadn't even done anything! But..." Drakken sighed, "remember I had pulled out a fuse and thrown it away? We couldn't find it. We searched for over an hour. So we had to walk...back...to the camp grounds. Naked. Eddie yelled at me the whole time for how uncool it was for me to sabotage his bike, and I yelled at him for forcing me to join in on all of his stupid ideas... We've never gotten along as well after that."

Drakken sank back against the rock with another sigh as he finished the story. The memory wasn't nearly as amusing as he'd remembered.

"I'm sorry, that...probably wasn't a very good story after all..."

He looked at Shego's still face. He felt her pulse again and found it a bit slower. He wondered if that meant she was relaxing...or dying.

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show-us-kaidenshenandoah · 4 months ago

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someone give me a series where

the artsy character is actually the neurotic, anxiety-ridden one who catastrophizes; and loves art and doing crafts because everything is just simple, you just need to know how materials work (and even if you forget, it's not a huge problem), and you're good to go, so they turn to art to relax from the "ohmygod we could all die" thoughts. like the real world and all its tragedies/potential tragedies might scare this character, but they like being creative and imagining better worlds with happy endings as a way to cope (bonus if they have aphantasia whose dreams are forgetable periods of blackness, and they may have subconciously turned to art as a way to combat this lack of ability to visualize by "visualizing by hand" + their anxiety being too intense for their body to not repress the ability to dream) just have the artsy character also be the overthinking one who researchs everything yet also went to become "the type of art major where i dont have to research anything, really" but the character keeps researching anyway and their art profs/mentors keep going all "😍 i didn't know that!" and the artsy-overthinker like "?!! buT YOURE TEACHING ABOUT IT??¿? 🤯" (bc that is real situation that happens to me at least once per semester 😵‍💫) you can even have there be a gag about the catastrophizing like "it takes a lot of creativity to think up that many ways life could go terribly wrong!"

a free-spirited, lackadaisical character who is the STEM major because they find the beauty in everything, and they just function on vibes, they dont do research on things outside of their STEM-major-interest because "it'll be fiiiine" and they see their "research" on their STEM major as moreso "learning fun facts" than anything else. and this character just finds joy in enjoying the little "boring, cynical" things about the world (hence, the STEM major aspects) because they see these bits of knowledge as additive to the item's beauty beyond the surface-level aesthetic-appreciation (bonus if they are a lucid dreamer with hyperphantasia; and that part of the reason they prefer the "real world" as they can't seem to draw/create in ways that match up to what they imagined this art-piece's end result would like, so they get frustrated with doing creative projects either sometimes or often) and maybe the character "growth" here can reflect my little sister: who sometimes gets frustrated with art as a lucid-dreaming, hyperphantasiac biologist, but she does try and is succeeding more and more with her craft projects and has learned to use her hyperphantasia to "imagine something of her current skill-level that she can strive for" and i am very proud of her, her art is SO good and she's having so much fun nowadays

because that's me and one of my little sisters and im tired of the stereotypical binary having HER personality be the "a brain that could only ever do art, cannot do STEM bc it's 'boring' or 'creatively stifling' or 'there is only one way to do it correctly (allegedly) and i dont like that' or etc" one and MY personality be the one that "only has a mind for STEM; in art, would only depict nightmares, or would experience decision-paralysis, or would find creativity of lesser value than cold hard facts", like!!! you can switch it up, you guys!!

#''what fictional characters were you thinking of while writing this??'' ...ngl: it was mokey and boober from fraggle rock on my mind lol #buT JUST BECAUSE MOKEY AND BOOBER WERE THE STRAW THAT ''BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK'' DOES NOT MEAN ''ARTSY + CHILL'' AND #''STEM (or cooking and laundry in Boober's case) + OVERTHINKING'' ARE NOT OVERSATURATED TROPES IN MEDIA. IT HAPPENS SO MUCH LMAO RIP #me

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remma3760 · 6 months ago

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Consequences

Chapter 31

Summary:

It's time for the final confrontation with Wen Ruohan.

The Nie arrived within days of Lan Qiren's request. Most were stationed in Caiyi and Orphan Town since if the plan worked as they hoped there would once again be a number of soldiers left angry and without sect affiliation. The people must be protected if these troops chose to take out their anger on the innocent.

Only the best hundred or so were in Cloud Recesses. They were each paired with a Lan disciple who explained what was needed. Nie Jiahao himself, along with Nie Mingjue would join the main Lan group outside the inner dome. Now they just had to wait.

Nie Jiahao was walking the perimeter with Lan Qiren. "Your outer barrier, it circles the whole mountain?"

"It does."

"Hm. And Wuxian has complete control over which part will drop and for how long?"

"He does."

"Wuxian came up with this plan?"

"He did."

"Smart boy. An asset to your sect. The Jiangs were fools to treat him so poorly."

"Mn. I often wonder how things would be had we not been in Lotus Pier on that day. Hard to believe that a decision made in a single moment could hold such import. Maybe especially for Wangji. He was always such a serious little boy. Without Wuxian in his life from such an early age I fear he would have lived a sad and lonely life. Become even more closed off from his peers. Wuxian has changed so many lives, mine included. Without him I might have become pedantic and rigid in my ways. He brought Baoshen Sanren into our lives and that in turn freed Lan Yi and took the Yin Iron from the world. He changed my sect. The rules now serve us as Lan An always intended. We are all better for his presence."

"I could see how different you were when you first brought him to visit. And not just because you shaved off that ridiculous beard. You were lighter. Happier. And it's not just your life that was changed. If Wen Ruohan had not insisted that you and the children accompany me to Nightless City I would never have known that my Qiangda had been damaged. She would have shattered and I would have likely died. Mingjue would have been forced to become sect leader much too young. I hate to think what that and the knowledge that my death was because of Wen Ruohan would have done to him."

"You are right. Taking Wuxian from Lotus Pier is the best decision I ever made."

"It was. We should get back. So Qiren, what are the odds that Wangji and Lan Yi will remove some body parts today?"

"Sadly very high.

***

Final preparations were underway as they gathered outside the main hall. Scouts had reported that the Wen Army with Wen Ruohan at it's head were only an hour away. The elders were in place and only waiting for the first flare to raise the dome.

Lan Qiren looked around frowning. "Wangji, where is Wuxian? Is he with A-Yuan?"

"I have left A-Yuan with Lan Daifu. He will be safe in the infirmary. Wei Ying has been in his workshop all week. He said he has a new talisman that will help us greatly. He hoped to have it finished by now but has encountered some problems."

"A talisman? Do you know anything of this, Baoshen Sanren?" Lan Qiren asked.

"I do not. Wuxian's mind is remarkable. He can make connections that defy logic. Even I have difficulty keeping up with him. I..."

She cut off as the first flare rose into the sky. Lan Qiren indicated that the elders should wait since Wei Wuxian was not yet there. He soon saw him rushing towards them, waving wildly. Once he was close enough Lan Wangji grasped his hand and they hurried into position as the elders raised the dome.

"Wei Ying, breathe."

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I had to run when I saw the flare. I've got them. Here."

Wei Wuxian began passing out talismans. "I didn't have time to test them but I'm confident they will work."

Baoshen Sanren was studying it intently. "Hm, interesting. A paralysis talisman?"

Wei Wuxian excitedly pointed at her. "Yes! That's it exactly. I talked with Wen Qing about how her needles and salves worked to numb the nerves. I thought how useful it would be to have a talisman that could do the same thing. But then I got distracted with the wards so I put it aside. It was only later that I thought it might actually be useful in a battle so I went back to it and here it is."

Nie Jiahao was frowning. "But how would it work in a battle? We can't simply stop fighting to stick one of these onto our opponents. What would even be the point?"

"That's just it. It doesn't affect just one cultivator at a time. We need to throw them down at their feet. All of us at once for maximum inpact.That will send out a wave of energy that keeps them imobile so we can capture them."

Lan Qiren was trying to understand. "So we don't fight at all? Wuxian, how sure of this are you? You say it hasn't even been tested?"

"Well, if it doesn't work, how will we be any worse off? It just means we have to fight as we intended to before. But if it does work, then no-one has to die today. Isn't that worth at least trying?"

"It is. We will use the talismans."

***

They got into formation as the second flare went up, talismans in one hand, swords in the other. Wei Wuxian dropped the barrier. Even from so far away they heard the shouts of victory from the Wen as they believed they had defeated the Cloud Recesses wards.

The third flare rose almost immediately. Wei Wuxian left the barrier down for a short time so that Wen Ruohan would not see that the barrier was again sealed. It didn't matter if more came through than before as they now had the support of the ferocious Nie. Wen Ruohan ran at the head of his men, sword raised as he howled his intention of killing them all.

Wei Wuxian stood in the middle, talisman raised until Wen Ruohan was close enough then gave the command. As one, the talismans were thrown sending out a pulse of bright energy as they landed.

There was silence for a long moment before Lan Qiren spoke. "Wuxian, what?"

"Uhm, this isn't exactly what I thought would happen, A-Die. It was meant to hold them still for a few minutes, not...this."

Wei Wuxian indicated the prone Wens. As the wave had rolled through them they had toppled like trees in an avalanche. The energy pulse had indeed paralysed them, but only from the waist down. They lay helplessly, waving their arms about as they tried to stand. Not just the first row, but all the way back as far as they could see.

Wen Ruohan was shouting incoherently. He was able to raise himself on his arms but as soon as he tried to threaten them with his sword he would fall back down. Wei Wuxian heard a strange gasping sound next to him and turned to Lan Wangji in panic. Was there a side effect to the talisman? What had he done?

Lan Wangji was bent almost double, great heaving gulps rocked him as he tried to breathe. He straightened up, pointing at the Wen soldiers and waving his arms about in imitation. "They...they..." then more howls and gasps.

Wei Wuxian stared at him. Wait, was he...laughing? Was his Lan Zhan laughing?

Baoshen Sanren let out a loud guffaw, soon followed by Nie Jiahao's bellow. Then they were all howling, the laughter echoing around the mountain as the Lan and Nie soldiers emerged from their hiding places to nudge at the downed Wen, cackling with glee.

It was too much for Wen Ruohan. He heaved himself up again and let out a maddened cry of rage. Blood started to pour from his mouth, his eyes and his ears. His meridians popped loudly, jerking his prone body as he continued to scream. Gradually the laughing died down as they stood and watched him open mouthed.

Finally he lay still. Baoshen Sanren walked forward cautiously until she stood over him. She nudged him with her foot, then kicked harder. "Huh."

Nie Jiahao moved to join her. "Is he dead?"

"He is. How anti-climactic."

"You should cut off his head." Lan Yi offered, shrugging when they all turned to stare at her. "What? Do you want to risk him coming back as a fierce corpse?"

"Huh, good point, "Nie Jiahao said as he raised Qiangda and did just that.

Nie Mingjue came forward to speak with his father. "A-Die, with your permission, I would like to go to Nightless City to retrieve Wen Qing and Wen Ning. I would see them safe home to Dafan Mountain in case there is a backlash for what has occurred here."

Nie Jiahao nodded. "Good idea. Take Zonghui and a dozen of our best men to help you. I don't imagine you will meet much resistance but better to be safe."

Nie Mingjue nodded and called to those he intended to take. Then he looked at the carpet of Wen. He shrugged, ordered, "Sabers," and they took to the sky.

Lan Qiren was at a loss. Wen Ruohan was dead? He surveyed the scene. It was over but what did they do now. "Wuxian, how long will these men be like this?"

"Oh, uh...I'm not exactly sure, A-Die. I didn't expect the talisman's to work in this way. Also, it's possible I didn't take into account the strength of the cores of the people casting them. I'm sure the effect will wear off eventually. Probably."

"Wuxian! Are you telling me you have no idea how long Cloud recesses will be cluttered up with...with ornamental Wens?"

"I suppose we could just roll them off the mountain, A-Die."

Lan Qiren covered his face with his hands. This was ridiculous. Who could have predicted that a day that had started fraught with danger would end like this?"

Lan Qiren looked up again. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.

***

Later, when they checked, they found that the effect of the energy pulse did not stop at the barrier. No. Every Wen all the way down the mountain path had been downed. They had to fly to see what had happened as that was now the only way in or out of Cloud Recesses, unless they wanted to walk over the Wens. Wei Wuxian had huddled with Baoshen Sanren and had determined that the effect weakened the further it travelled so the first to recover would be the furthest away.

Well, before that happened, word got out as word always will. The Nie soldiers station nearby came to have a look, the civilians they had been protecting coming with them. No-one wanted to miss the spectacle. Children giggled and drew on the faces of the helpless soldiers. Food and souvenir stalls were set up and soldiers escorted groups to view the flailing Wens. There was great amusement and much laughter. By the time the Wens started to revive they were too humiliated to cause trouble. Instead, they slunk away to who knows where.

And that was the end of it. The world, for Wen Ruohan had ended not with a bang, but with a whimper.

#the untamed #untamed fic #untamed fanfiction #wangxian

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diaryof1000days · 11 months ago

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Day 3 - I currently weigh about 220lbs which is about 10lbs lighter than I was last year but I think it has made a noticeable difference in how I look which is so weird because that doesn’t seem like a lot. It’s not drastic but it is noticeable. I didn’t change anything except going to the OTF 2 times a week for an hours. I still don’t want to change my diet at all. I’m a picky eater and I like treats too much to care too about my diet. Glad this was the gym MMM introduced me too because I wouldn’t have started otherwise. I am for sure a type of person that gets research paralysis thinking there has to be one perfect way to do something in when in reality there’s not. And I know this intellectually but it still doesn’t stop me from participating in it even with benign things like buying a new purse.

I figure I should do a small entry for each of my sisters (I have to pad out these days somehow I’m so boring I’m already struggling on day three lol) MMM and I don’t always get along but she is for sure the sister that pushes me out of my comfort zone the most. We just don’t always get each other which is fine except when she thinks she knows my own opinions for me. That gets frustrating. I tend to exaggerate my feelings for the sake of making a decision which does make me a hypocrite sometimes which I know frustrates her. We also just don’t like a lot of the same things for fun *insert shrug emoji here* She’s great at integrating people into her life and staying friends with them, which is an underestimated skill I greatly admire her for; she’s a good momI’m so grateful for my princess niece (and the new princess/princess on the way)!; her planning skills are a boon to the family as a whole since a lot of us (okay me) don’t like to step up.

For instance to show off all of the above I was invited to wing night because she was a meeting her friend who became a family friend (aka I don’t have a lot of my own friends but her friends have often became family friends. she made me drive without a gps which I hate to do because of my anxiety. It does not matter one iota one way or another if this is what I do for the rest of my life to me- she seems to think it makes me less of an adult. Same with telling me she thinks I need to move out of my parent’s house. I’m not moving out just to live a more miserable existence (because I’d be living alone). I’m past caring about “society” and “adult milestones” in that regard. We both got frustrated for this spat and because other planning details but like most things in life it works out and we ended up having a good time.

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attack-on-teen-titans · 1 year ago

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*presses fingers to lips and exhales deeply*

I cannot stop thinking about this in the context of Gaza but that’s a whole other topic.

I didn’t expect Onyankopon to survive. I didn’t expect Jean, Conny, and Gabi to go out like that. And I was not prepared for Stockholm Syndrome to be the driving force of a whole race…..

How and why would Ymir fall in love with the man who burned her home, murdered her parents, enslaved her, and then hunted her as game in a sick chance at freedom? If it weren’t for him doing any of that, she never would’ve found that tree and the parasite living beneath it. Even after gaining this power, she stays and I cannot fathom it.

I always said that if Levi ever died, I’d quit the show cold. My boy kicking ass literally in stitches and finally carrying out Erwin’s last mission with a FRACTION of his full skill.

I had mixed feelings about Pieck in the beginning of season 4 but she definitely grew on me, so much so that I fully screamed when she started somersaulting through the air transformation after transformation.

FALCO!!!! I’m still speechless. By far the best Jaw ever! And the reveal?!

Zeke…the thing about his euthanasiation plan is that even after all the Eldians naturally died out…everyone else would just find something else to fight about, as evidenced by the end credits with Eren’s headstone. Even once the PoT disappeared, the Marlyeans STILL threatened the Eldians. Humans are garbage.

Eren…………… fucking dumbass. 🙄 All bark and no bite until he goes kinda crazy, y’know, from all the power. Then acts a pussy to his friends just so they doubt themselves before they harden their resolve? Armin should’ve knocked him out fully. Then whines about wanting Mikasa to mourn him for ten years after he dies?!? Fuck outta here you wimp. The only good thing he did was spare Historia.

Armin….i don’t think there was ever a time I disliked him. He is the MC for me. That he could turn Zeke, a fatalist, into a hopeful is absolute genius. Him trusting himself to think through the paralysis of his body and then waking up immediately to fire a thunder spear at the Titan that captured him. Calling on ancestors for help because even in their perpetual state, they don’t support genocide. The visual and knowledge that people who started as bitter enemies are now united on the same side was incredibly powerful.

Mikasa. Oh Mikasa. The one always up Eren’s ass. Who never had another thought if it wasn’t attached to Eren. Who did nothing but take the fall for his dumbass decisions. Couldn’t stand her for the first two seasons. That she was the one was the best decision. It’s a juicy, rip your heart out moment. I just really REALLY wish she kissed him BEFORE cutting off his head. Ugh. 🤢 Like you make us wait the ENTIRE SERIES for this kiss, and it’s necropheliac.

I’m sad there won’t be more but happy at the resolution - that there is no resolution. Even if you take away the current object of conflict, there will always be another. I’d definitely be into more adventure in this universe but I’m glad to let everyone rest for a while. I’m sure I’ll have more/other thoughts as the days pass, as I watch the ending again, and as I watch the whole series from start to finish. Owning the manga has been on my list for some time and maybe next year will be the time.

Oh, I almost forgot: kick ass soundtrack! I’ve gotta do more research into the music but EPIC sounds for epic conflict!

This is it.

The Attack On Titan series finale.

*deep breath*

Let’s go.

#samuel speaks #attack on titan #anime #finale #spoilers

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fantastic-nonsense · 2 years ago

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Okay so....there was a post about Barbara Gordon and visible vs. invisible disability floating around on here awhile back. And someone wrote an excellent response already (thanks so much to @dilfdoctordoom for pointing everything out that they did), but I wanted to add my own two cents onto it because I felt there were some unaddressed issues...only when I finally got around to actually responding to it, I found out I was blocked by the OP (because tumblr is a hellsite that doesn't actively tell you you're blocked until you try to hit "post"). That's all a preface to say: this is a response to that post, and it's largely responding to the OP's comments about how the current depiction of Babs' disability is "great, actually!" because it provides representation to people with invisible disabilities.

Which...first it needs to be said that the OP is using "invisible disabilities need rep!" to excuse visible disabilities being erased and minimized. Because this isn't a situation where people are looking at a character who's always had invisible disabilities and going "they don't count." This is a character who for thirty years was disabled in a highly visible way and promoted as DC's most prominent physically disabled character...and a character whose existing physical disability (complete spinal cord injury leading to paralysis) was then erased, changed, and continuously minimized to justify making her a walking Batgirl again. DC also did this while erasing two other female characters (one of whom, Cassandra Cain, was disabled herself and actually is an example of someone with an invisible disability).

Barbara's disability, by its nature, is not one that should be portrayed as invisible. She was shot in a way that completely severed her spinal cord and shattered the surrounding bone structure. That was always her disability and despite the spinal chip magi-cure it technically remains her disability. Even if she can walk, she should still either be an ambulatory wheelchair user or using a cane/forearm braces, on the page, consistently. Her disability should be visible; that was the intention of her creators (one of whom was a disabled woman) and that was the representation she provides. She's also worn glasses since her introduction as a character, a disability that was also erased in the New 52/Burnside era via editorial mandate (and one that we have only recently won back post-Infinite Frontier). I find it interesting that OP chose not to comment on that.

Cassandra's disability, however, is invisible and always has been. Her struggles with speech and language are not ones that can be seen just by looking at her. She's been an incredible avenue of representation for people with learning, speech, and language processing issues for 22 years. And yet she got first character assassinated, then pushed to the sidelines, and then erased from the universe entirely because DC couldn't bear to have a disabled Asian woman wearing the Batgirl mantle instead of Barbara Gordon.

And while Stephanie isn't relevant in a conversation surrounding disability, I would like to point out that she became Batgirl largely by accident due to being resurrected at a time when 'who should be the new Batgirl?' was a topic being hotly debated. Babs was as close to being magi-cured and Batgirl again in 2009 as Dick was to being killed in Infinite Crisis (which is to say, pretty damn close). Steph becoming Batgirl only delayed the inevitable, which was a coordinated multi-year editorial effort to push Cass out of the cowl and Babs back into it.

So if people like OP want to talk about the representation of visible vs. invisible disability, I think we should talk about how making Babs a walking Batgirl again erased representation of both types of disability in the process. Because it was not a decision made to give representation to people with invisible disabilities. It was a decision made because Dan Didio and a small group of similarly powerful old, white, male, able-bodied managers wanted the Batgirl from their childhoods to be on the pages again, and if they had to erase two disabled characters and multiple female characters entirely to make it work, they were willing to do so.

Nearly all subsequent writers have effectively erased her disability by omission via giving occasional lip service to it-occasional comments about the chip, the back brace, the cane-and then disregarding it entirely whenever it suits them to do so (repeatedly showing Babs in inaccessible living and working environments, having her continually suit up as Batgirl despite saying it should be an "emergency only" thing, constantly showing her standing/with her legs crossed/in weird positions when she is sitting like there's an editorial mandate on artists to remind people 'she's not paralyzed! she can walk now!', etc).

And those creative and editorial decisions need to be talked about when discussing the treatment of Babs and frankly all of the Batgirls since 2011, because it's objectively ableist writing and it's frankly incredibly tiring to have to continually point this out despite the well-sourced and thorough discussions Babs fans (both abled and disabled) have written on the subject over the past 11 years.

#barbara gordon #long post #ableism #batgirl #oracle #barbara gordon meta #cassandra cain #clearing out my drafts #we deserve to have Babs' disability accurately and consistently depicted on panel actually #we also deserve to have Cass's disability accurately and consistently depicted on panel #and both of those things are currently directly at odds with DC's creative decision-making staff #and have been for over a decade

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zorilleerrant · 3 years ago

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in honor of disability pride month, some batkid disability headcanons for everyone (leaving out the PTSD. we know they all have PTSD.):

Dick:

ADHD (worse since the head injury)

dyslexia

night terrors

there’s part of his leg that he injured too many times in the same place, and he just can’t feel it anymore. it’s not paralyzed but all the sensations in his lower leg are just haywire

Babs:

I’m strongly of the opinion that her mobility is wildly variable; she still uses the chair most days and relies more on upper than lower body strength even when she doesn’t. her suits have built-in mobility aids to help her move her legs the way she wants

OCD. started Oracle as a coping mechanism

chronic back pain, chronic leg pain since her surgery

maladaptive daydreamer, but it’s unrelated to any of the rest of her neurodivergence so it freaks her out a little

Jason:

limited range of motion in his back, arms, and neck

chronic pain. used to be localized to the same place before the Pit, but now it’s kind of everywhere

anxiety of multiple flavors

part of his forehead is paralyzed, where the white streak is. not usually an issue, but sometimes he has trouble telling he’s injured

hearing loss - allover, but more in the upper range of his hearing. he can hear extremely high pitched sounds though, which unfortunately are also a type of sounds to give him panic attacks

vivid hallucinations: auditory, visual, and tactile

alcohol addiction

claustrophobia

because of the Pit, his tolerance to heat and cold has gone up, but his sensitivity to them has gone down, so even when it’s outside his range of tolerance he doesn’t notice and has to set alerts to remind himself

sleep paralysis

Tim:

insomnia. often leads to sleep deprivation psychosis

GAD. magical thinking related to this means he’s unable to reference certain topics out loud or written

phobia of horses

extremely touchy immune system, pretty much constantly sick. no one’s sure if he has low grade asthma or just another cold

Steph:

some kind of stomach problem that she figures isn’t actually a problem because she mostly eats fairly processed foods anyway, but it sometimes means she feels sick and can’t eat enough

extremely sensitive skin. constantly gets rashes if she wears the wrong clothes. subsequently afraid to change soaps etc.

but everyone can’t move their pinkies, right? I mean everyone can’t move their pinky toes, it’s the same, right?

memory problems of ambiguous nature

Cass:

trouble talking, yes, but actually has selective mutism on top of that. it takes a while for anyone to work that out

chronic pain, especially in her joints

hypermobility from all her training as a kid, which has also led to some of her bones not fusing like they should

ASPD. her extreme low empathy leads to her highly detailed ability to read expressions and body language, but also her difficulty in making the shift from acquaintance to friend

extremely low self-esteem and anxiety related to how people perceive sociopaths in society

lactose intolerant

Duke:

bad enough tree nut allergy he constantly carries an epipen

visual impairment he unconsciously compensates for using his powers, so hasn’t been discovered yet

sensitivity and lowered flexibility of one of his ankles, from when he broke his ankle as a kid

Damian:

every kind of attachment disorder ever proposed

hyperempathy, leading to difficulty in decision-making, impulsivity, trouble forming friendships, and love for pets

chronic pain in his spine, accompanied by loss of movement caused by the inflammation. sometimes uses a wheelchair

unrelated chronic pain in his hands and feet from repeated childhood punishments. exacerbated by carpal tunnel

phobia of snakes

fear of poison(ing) which would also be classified as a phobia except that it’s a trauma response

depression

extreme sensitivity to bright light, partial blindness caused by being raised mostly in low light environments

numerous food sensitivities and inability to deal with certain textures. very reluctant to try new foods

dyscalculia

#look i said something #batman #batfam #someone reminded me I made a post last year about how people should do more disability + fandom content so I made some

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holocene-sims · 3 years ago

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👀 ❤️ and 🚂 for Grant, Paivi, Colm, and Shannon :)

thank you!! ❤️

👀 what do they see in this image?

first of all, grant and shannon would both absolutely have a GALAXY brain moment with this picture. if they were in the same room at the same time looking at this, they would look at each other and in unison, scream: "IT'S A SKYRIM DRAGON!"

colm would be a stubborn asshole and say, "it looks like a bug. they all look like a bug. what does it say if i think all ink blots look like bugs?" he would mean it 100% seriously but also LMAO dude think about it for a second longer

goth queen päivi would say it looks like a blood stain 💀

❤️ what’s their love language?

grant is a words of affirmation person first and foremost. and tbh so is colm. that's the top love language for both of them. colm likes to be complimented about really anything but especially emotional stuff (which seems like a surprise, doesn't it? LMAO) and grant likes to hear either "i love you" or anything that makes him feel like competent or that he's doing a good job.

shannon is a gift-giving person, not because she's materialistic but just because she's a lil dragon who loves to hoard cool stuff

päivi is an acts of service person. she's not super mushy gushy so that checks out

🚂 what’s their answer to the trolley problem?

grant would give you an annoying and unsatisfying "i worked in aviation and have an engineering degree" style answer, namely: "if you have a runaway trolley, your first approach should have been to find some way to stop it before the lives of people outside the trolley become a concern. if you're about to kill passersby, you've fucked up. a vehicle is never engineered with no way to stop it or derail it in an empty location. either you use your surroundings or you employ the vehicle's redundancies. like a car...if the brakes fail, you down shift, try the emergency brake, and use the guard rails. now, okay, listen, i don't know how trolleys are built, to be fair, but at the very least, if there's no emergency way to stop one, then find your outside advantage. land it in the hudson. metaphorically speaking."

okay, but what if all those things fail?

"then maybe it's your fault for not verifying the trolley was safe to drive in the first place. you have to check these things."

and no, it doesn't matter how little he knows about trolleys, grant is going to argue it should have never happened in the first place. and if it does...welp, come back with the list of details and he'll tell you again where it could have been stopped in the first place because "any accident results from a series of mistakes."

also i'm sorry but colm would also have an annoying answer LMAOOO. he questions everything. he would want to argue with you first about how certain you are that the trolley was going to kill any of these people. he wants the medical and statistical facts fjdksjfkdgfs. if you corner him into saying it's a 100% fatality rate, he's going to argue for diverting the trolley to kill the one person. but then he'll turn around and make a counter-argument for the other side by throwing out other hypothetical situations. he'll play devil's advocate. #justENTPthings

shannon tbh kind of has decision paralysis and does not like to even enthuse hurting someone so she might just jump out of the trolley and let it sort itself out...

"if i'm not in it, it's not my fault. not technically. right? oh no, am i going to hell for hurting them by proxy?"

päivi would unquestionably argue for diverting and killing the solo person. to her, it's just a numbers question and there's not much else to think about. one is less than five...and one person is a lot easier to clean up than five. but omit her comments on that because that's a bit, um, gruesome...

#asks #hlcn: oc info #hlcn: story extras #hlcn: grant #hlcn: päivi #hlcn: colm #hlcn: shannon

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saberstars · 3 years ago

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I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

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