#because oh my fucking god what are they planning to post next its gonna be vile
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cringefail-clown · 11 months ago
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i often forget i follow dakidavekat on twt, so when im scrolling its always a suprise when i get hit in the eyeballs with some of the most disturbing and/or gross shit imaginable. keeps me on my toes
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vaguenotions · 9 months ago
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Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)
Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?
#txt#might delete this later but i also might not because my irritation and rage is real and i shouldnt have to so constantly discard it#i am so tired of constantly putting it aside#i want your blood in my fucking teeth. and it's your fault i want it there- certainly- because I TRY. I try so hard not to feel this way#but eventually you get tired of those little games too#okay I drafted this for a minute bc idk if this fucker is actually spending the night or not i just know he took off his belt. BUT THEN ONE#+ OF THESE FUCKERS DECIDED TO START TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS. A THING THAT I HAVE A VERY BAD PHOBIA ABOUT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking of killing and maiming and maiming and killing and killing and shredding and tearing and killing and-#seriously though what. the fuck. you even go ''oh they're not gonna like this'' THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING SAY IT#ohh and now you're sitting here making plans for when you go out without me next! I'm going to make you a bloody smear on my fucking floor#i am going to Dissect you. I'm going to rip you apart and feed you to the local strays and csrrion birds.#not even getting up and leaving right fucking now would assuage me. i wish i wasn't so full of fucking hate but you just keep adding fuel +#+to the fire#im so tired. I'll come back with a ''im fine now'' if he fucking leaves but im going to seethe now. im so fucking angry.#how do you fucks continually just bounce between the topics that makes me feel Most Violent Towards You? literally how do you not realize i#+ want you dead at this point? how do you not realize the grave you've dug for yourselves in my mind?#i dont fucking mask it that well. i know i dont. and still you fucking do this#((part of why it being a bar specifically that bothers me besides the very deliberate and careful avoidance of mentioning it to me is that#+*one of you is at serious risk for becoming an alcoholic. why the fuck are you being enabled this way?*))#((if i was dating someone with a genetic predisposition of alcoholism i would make your regular dates nights- idk- NOT THE FUCKING BAR +#+ DISTRICT. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM? DO YOU? This fucking boils my god damn blood.))#(ultimately its their decision if they want to fucking drink yeah sure whatever YOU DONT NEED TO REGULARLY AND READILY ENABLE IT. BASTARD.)#(If they want to drink so fucking bad- if they push for the bars- JUST BUY SOME ALCOHOL AND BRING IT FUCKING HERE. It limits how much they+#+can have for one- and it would isolate me from you two less! just as an added fucking bonus! but no very unreasonable of me. what was i +#+thinking? clearly not about them 🙄)#i might be a little out of line here. i can admit that. but if anyone spent a week in my fucking shoes back when they first got together +#+and then now? you would fucking understand.#and they just. keep. talking. to eachother. no attempts to include me. not even glances my way. like always.#''oh nothing will change'' IT FUCKING CHANGED. I want to hurt you so bsdly for that lie with ever passing day. do you even know it was a li#do you? anyway was abt to post this and noticed a gif i have of a woman ripping her shirt off so im going to stare at that until im calm ig.
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checkeredflagggs · 11 days ago
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The Story of Us: Chapter 3
pairing: logan sargeant x famous!fem!singer
summary: logan and you have been keeping a secret from everyone but it might be time for it to come out
a/n: while I do my best on most of my works to be race neutral, this one is very very very self indulgent 🤷🏻‍♀️
a/n2: this is part 3 of 4/5, which will be released when they’re finished and I’m using pretty much everything from Taylor Swift
a/n3: I still don’t understand instagram so - no one but those that follow you can see a private accounts comments (even on a public post). Also I still hate twitter so I’ve replaced it with Bluesky.
a/n4: Also timelines? Never heard of them. This is set in 2024 but I’ve moved Miami to before Australia
a/n5: I’m pretending that the race schedule is known more then a year in advance so…
Part 1 Part 2
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y/n
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, logansargeant, landonorris, and 12,284,124 others
y/n: loving the tour, missing the simple days
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user1: never seen someone so fucking pretty
↳user2: absolutely jaw dropping
user3: adding several things to my bucket list
↳user4: same!
↳user5: I just want to add her cloths to my closet
not_oscar: this is gonna cause so much trouble oh my god y/n
↳not_y/n: 😂🤭😂😉
↳not_oscar: i give it minutes before those losers start posting vaguely similar photos…
↳not_logan: no bet dude. It’s gonna happen
alexandrasaintmleux: Tu es aussi magnifique que les œuvres d'art sur les murs. You're just as stunning as the art on the walls.
↳charles_leclerc: Comme tu l'as dit, mon amour. As you said, my love.
↳user6: bringing in reinforcements??
↳user7: well at least it’s not cheating now I guess 😂😂
pierregasly: On ne devrait jamais avoir à porter ses propres sacs pour faire ses courses! One should never have to carry their own bags when shopping!
↳francisca.cgomes: Je t'ai bien appris. I’ve taught you well.
↳user8: oh boy the desperation…
georgerussell63: what’s you current read? I’ve been looking for some recommendations!
↳user9: How Not to Flirt with Someone Not your Girlfriend and Dumbassery 101
↳user10: 😂😂
alex_albon: do you offer horse riding lessons?
↳user11: don’t…don’t you own a horse???
↳user12: I think the drivers have passed from desperate into just being sad…
landonorris: visiting New York soon — any suggestions?
↳user13: getting a life maybe?
georgerussell63
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liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, lilymhe, and 1,283,123 others
georgerussell63: Love those London days
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user14: …so this is blatant y/n bait right?
↳user15: absolutely!
↳user16: I think my favorite part of the season so far is how fucking stupid these drivers turn in the face of y/n…
↳user17: it has been funny to watch
oscarpiastri: why are you posting London photos? We’re in Japan?
↳georgerussell63: its call a photo dump Oscar
↳oscarpiastri: I think it’s actually called stupidity…
↳not_logan: 😂😂 please continue to call them out
↳not_oscar: well someone has to and it’s obviously not gonna be you…
↳not_y/n: not yet at least…
↳not_logan: the next part of your plan??
↳not_y/n: 🤭
↳not_oscar: you mean to tell me you actually have a plan for this madness?!???
user18: call him out Oscar!
↳user19: fighting for his best friend really…
user20: you can tell these aren’t recent because it’s still FUCK ASS cold in London right now
↳user21: oh my god I didn’t even notice that…🤣🤣
sargeantnation
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liked by not_y/n, user, user, and 834,244 others
sargeantnation: not the weekend that Logan wanted but boy did he look good while he was there
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user22: made it further than his teammate did…
↳user23: barely
user24: you’ll get it next week Logan!
user25: did you see the look on vowles’ face??
↳user26: he definitely need acting lessons
↳user25: right? Like dude can you try and act like you actually like both of your drivers?
↳user26: I fear for Logan…it took so long for his contract renewal and vowles all but said he would have gone with someone else if they were an option…
↳user25: do not even speak that into existence!!!
user27: such a let down after last week…
↳user28: not everyone is max verstappen!
↳user27: going from a podium to last place though…
↳user26: and remember how lackluster vowles congratulations were for it??
↳user25: 😬😬😬 not. good.
Private Messages
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pierregasly
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liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, user2 and 1,928,223 others
pierregasly: Missing those summer days and beach dates 🩷
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user29: hmmmm…not liking this
↳user30: the blatant attempt to shoot his shot at y/n completely overlooking his gorgeous girlfriend? liked by francisca.cgomes
↳user29: yeah that 😂
oscarpiastri: this is…not it
↳pierregasly: you’re supposed to be Norris’ problem — not mine
↳oscarpiastri: I’ll be everyone’s problem
↳user31: show them how it’s done Oscar!
charles_leclerc: enjoying that sunset? 🌅
↳pierregasly: enjoying the company more 🩷
↳user32: hopefully it’s Kika!
y/n_nation
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liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, iamrebeccad, and 11,124,135 others
y/n_gossip: Weeks into her tour, y/n has brought out multiple new outfits for her highly talked about Eras tour. Here’s a carousel of some our favorites!
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iamrebeccad: she could be a model…
↳carlossainz55: ¡Sabrías hermosa! You would know beautiful!
↳user33: girl go back to your actual boyfriend and leave y/n alone 😭😭
user34: is this a safe space? Can I say something?
↳user35: do it regardless
↳user34: I’m starting to believe user19…
↳user19: HAHA
↳user35: you summoned them
↳user34: brb putting on my clown hat 🤡
alexandrasaintmleux: Des couleurs si magnifiques ! Sur un magnifique modèle 💕 Such gorgeous colors! On a gorgeous model 💕
↳charles_leclerc: Presque aussi magnifique que toi. Almost as stunning as you.
↳user36: …👎🏻
user19: i have more proof for you people if that’s something that you need
↳user53: how??? Neither of them have posted anything even vaguely related to them being in a relationship
↳user19: after all this time you still doubt me??
↳user53: of course not but really?
↳user37: I’m gonna start my own crazy train — you guys are dating
↳user19: I’m gonna block you
↳user37: MORE PROOF
charles_leclerc
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, pierregasly, user, and 2,145,924 others
charles_leclerc: I’m laughing on the car ride home with you ♥️
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user38: oh so now we’re blatantly quoting y/n’s songs now?
↳user39: well she’s been ignoring her apparently many boyfriends 😂
alexandrasaintmleux: Toujours, mon amour Always, my love
↳user40: girl he’s trying to cheat on you
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↳user41: anyone else catch that?
↳user40: 😑😑😑
oscarpiastri: oh it’s so good you and Alex are taking time together
↳not_y/n: thank you for your service 🫡
↳not_oscar: I expect something for this
↳not_y/n: summer break with me and Logan?
↳not_oscar: sure
↳user42: thank you king for your continued service
alex_albon: going shirtless? For free?
↳charles_leclerc: anything for the fans
↳alex_albon: is that what we’re calling it nowadays?
↳logansargeant: 😂😂
user43: user19 can you give us more proof please
↳user19: I WOULD LOVE TO
↳user53: please stop screaming
Bluesky
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logansargeant
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liked by not_y/n, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, and 1,284,923 others
logansargeant: a full heart and a full living room
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user44: I need more photos of boyfriend Logan in my life
↳user48: I just need Logan as a boyfriend
not_y/n: 🥰🥰🥰 I love you so much Logan
↳not_logan: I love you too. More then I can ever say
oscarpiastri: thanks for the sleeping place
↳logansargeant: it’s always open for you
↳user19: ☝🏻☝🏻 LOVER CODED
alex_albon: when am I gonna get an introduction?
↳logansargeant: soon I promise — but she has a plan
↳alex_albon: can’t argue with that I guess 😂
↳logansargeant: oh I never argue with her…
↳user53: user19 they have a plan???
↳user19: well she’s a mastermind liked by logansargeant
user49: THATS NEW YORK, PARIS, LONDON
↳user19: I TOLF YOJ
↳user19: Welcome to New York, Paris, London Boy, and Lover! All in one post!
iamrebeccad
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liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes, and 2,334,235 others
iamrebeccad: race dates and date dates 🩶
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carlossainz55: Chicas impresionantes! Stunning girls!
↳iamrebeccad: thank you my love
↳user50: 🤮
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user51: user12 was right…it didn’t take long at all for the wags to jump on the y/n train…
↳user12: ok but I am seeing a vision
↳user52: is the vision a Carlos-y/n-rebecca threesome? liked by carlossainz55, iamrebeccad
↳user12: yes it is
alexandrasaintmleux: lunch tomorrow?
↳iamrebeccad: sorry plans tomorrow! Day after?
↳alexandrasaintmleux: plans or plans 😂
↳iamrebeccad: plans
y/n_gossip
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liked by logansargeant, landonorris, carlossainz55, and 18,234,023 others
y/n_gossip: y/n and y/n_nation has been posting videos and teasers of these vaults — thoughts?
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user54: music video?
user55: merchandise? It’s been awhile since they’ve dropped anything new!
maxverstappen1: new music?
↳user56: car boy I know you’re used to being fast but we don’t demand new music around here
↳user57: we’re gonna have put together a pamphlet on how to act aren’t we…
↳user58: not a bad idea actually…
not_oscar: why do you keep doing this y/n???
↳not_y/n: sorry not sorry 😂
↳not_lilyz: ohhh new music??
↳not_y/n: yes!
↳not_lilyz: oh my god i can’t wait!
↳not_y/n: I’ll send some voice notes for you my love 🩵
alexandrasaintmleux
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liked by charles_leclerc, iamrebeccad, user and 1,192,469 others
alexandrasaintmleux: Voir l’art, c’est connaître l’amour. To see art is to know love.
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user59: stunning
↳user60: she really is
↳user61: can charles fight?
user12: user52 ok this or the other?
↳user52: definitely charles-y/n-alex liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: Alors j'ai été béni tous les jours. Then I’ve been blessed everyday
↳user63: i am begging at this point…
↳user64: no I get it 🤤🤤
↳user63: what? Eww no. I’m begging them to realize they’re promoting cheating…
logansargeant
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liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, williamsracing, and 923,824 others
logansargeant: Not how I expected Australia to go but we preserve — let’s go Alex!
comments have been limited on this post
alex_albon: thanks for the support!
↳logansargeant: of course!
oscarpiastri: mom said to plan on dinner at our place this weekend
↳logansargeant: yum!
y/n
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be the first to like
y/n: it’s time to open the vault — and release all the secrets. Tomorrow — 26 new tracks
be the first to comment
Private Messages
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Taglist
@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby
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miwiheroes · 25 days ago
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Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 5: Byler parallels with Jopper and Lumax . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
Decided to combine Jopper and Lumax into one post because a lot of them are similar and would actually be more compelling if they were all combined, being that Jopper and Lumax are definitely endgame (they arent in any love triangles or anything)
So again, I'm gonna name the parallel and how intentional it may be. Even if it's not fully intentional as a complete parallel, this still counts as evidence because using the same tropes for Lumax and Jopper as Byler means that they are all romantic.
1. I Lost You
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The fact that Byler and Lumax's ones are in the same episode oh my god???? I honestly think this is intentional. While the 'I thought I lost you' thing is common in romantic tropes, to use it for three couples is very much insane and they must have noticed this. Putting the two in the same episode as well..... oh my god
2. Holding Hands
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I think that the fact its a parallel is not intentional, but hand holding is just very very common as a romantic trope. It's also the truth that they actually create a separate SHOT for each of these moments too, to signify their importance.
3. A Team
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(couldnt find a good screenshot with a caption for byler but there is alt text)
If you want two people to have believable chemistry, you make them work together well. It was never explicitly stated that Jancy were a good team, but you could tell. HOWEVER THIS IS JUST EXPLICIT they are spelling it out for u!!! Mike and El never really work together. They are a couple. But they aren't a team. They don't work together on plans, there's never any back and forth planning (like with byler in s3), and once again, it's never ever acknowledged by either of them that they work well together as a team.
4. On the Bus
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Both heart-to-heart scenes use this song behind it:
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Oh this is highly highly intentional. You do not just use romantic, TENDER EMOTIONAL music for one couple who are definitely romantic, and then put that in the background of a platonic scene. The creators are literally screaming at u guys here <3 THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTICCC HELLO
(also both these scenes end with them smiling at the other and they get interrupted by a noise before anything else can happen)
5. We have to kill it
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Sorry guys i totally forgot to include this one in the Jancy parallel post but literally fucking LOOK!! This is intentional to me because it is very specific, and if it's an accident that they all want to kill something and the other one agrees, then it still shows that these couples have chemistry because they are on the same page. AND one of them is reassuring the other, foreshadowing that they are gonna be a team in the next season.
Jancy are a team in season 2 after they have this convo in season 1, and Jopper are a team in season 3 after having this convo in season 2. So byler will be a team in season 5.
6. Staying in the Hospital
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Honestly this one's just cute, and recontextualises the fact that Mike peers over Will on the bed, and stays by him (even though it doesnt really need recontextualising). The fact that its very romantic and cute for Lumax to do it should mean the exact same thing for Mike to do it.
7. Looking longingly at someone who's pulling away
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erm this one is just so clear to me. Not exactly intentional but like- the thing with staring at someone longingly just to have them not look back at you is very slow burn romance. The fact that it's very obvious to ppl that Max is definitely aware of Lucas staring at her, but can't stare back because she's afraid to hurt him/ afraid to show her feelings again definitely parallels Mike too.
Also both Lucas and Max SIGH before going back to what they're doing...
8. TENDER EMOTIONAL MUSIC
so a tender emotional music scene for jopper makes it feel romantic:
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Sooooo.... doesn't that mean that it applies for byler too?? Who had it done to them not one, not two, but THREE TIMES IN SEASON 4???
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AND LUMAX HAS A SCENE WITH THIS TOO
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Thanks for reading yet another long ass post :))) The next ones probably going to be Rovickie parallels because they actually have so many after doing my research so yeah
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mydearesthrry · 9 months ago
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i loveddd the musician reader blurb 🥹🥹 would loveee to see more
a/n: I LOVED WRITING IT THANK U FOR THIS ANON. enjoy my babies <3 i have an fc for musician!yn x har and its gonna be gracie abrams :p
warnings: nonesies, fluff!!
“hey, h?” Y/N called from her spot on the sofa, her laptop on her lap as she scrolled through the files for her next project, entitled five seconds flat.
“yeah, baby?” he shouted back, his footsteps soon following his words as he walked through their house, sitting next to Y/N when he arrived. “whats wrong?”
“um, to be honest, i- i don’t even really know. i just think something’s missing from here,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “like, i love it so far, but it’s missing something. i think it’s missing it’s ‘overarching love’ song. which is really stupid because this album has so many love songs.”
“not really.” he replied simply, shrugging and looking at her.
“what do you mean? there’s tons!”
“really? like what? go through the tracklist, baby.”
she rolled her eyes, mumbling a ‘fine!’, before pulling up the tracklist. “see! um, all my ghosts, what a shame? kinda?”
“exactly.” he stated, giggling at his wife.
“you’re so annoying. can you help me? please?”
he scoffs playfully, “as if i didn’t produce nearly the entire thing f’you, but sure.”
“okay, so i’m thinking of a poem that i wrote a long time ago called lame, and i wanna work on that. it was right before i told you i loved you.”
after cracking open y/n’s journal and flipping through the pages, they had finally had a song.
“fucking finally, holy shit!” she shouted, clapping as she collapsed on harry who laid sprawled on the couch.
“y’still gotta record it, m’precious wife,” he giggled. “and find a feature. since we decided that’s what we’re doing, f’some reason.”
“fuck my life,” she groaned, twisting in her spot to attach her cheek to his chest, hair fanning out around her and nearly tickling his nose. “why can’t you do it with me?”
“no.”
“harry,”
“no.”
“harry!”
“no, dude!”
“harry,” his wife stressed, holding the ‘y’. “pretty please? i’ll do that thing you like with my mouth?” she offered, knowing he wouldn’t refuse that.
“oh my god, fine! but this is the first and last collab im doing!” he grumbled exasperatedly.
“thank you, oh my god!” she squealed, running over to him and jumping, legs wrapping around his legs and her arms crossing around his neck.
“whatever. better hold up your end of the bargain.” he rolled his eyes, his hypocritical hands coming down to rest on her waist.
she grinned, jumping down from him and placing her hands on his chest. blinking up at him owlishly, she ran her hands down his torso and murmured, “i plan to, handsome. i’ll even start right now.”
———
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liked by charles_leclerc, sabrinacarpenter, and 7,662,617 others
yourinstagram: took a tiny break and ended up at long pond with my beautiful producer husband <3. u have to wait to hear what we made there,,, butttt….. HATE TO BE LAME FT HARRY STYLES IS OUT NOWWWWW LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU
pinned yourinstagram: ps our faces when we cant figure out a chord progression 😭😭😭
comments on this post have been limited
charles_leclerc: Already streaming in the Ferrari garage!
> scuderiaferrari: charles_leclerc we can confirm 🫡
> yourinstagram: scuderiaferrari OMGGGGG MI FAMIGLIAAAAAA LOVE U
landonorris: party celebration for the surprise release when???
> yourinstagram: landonorris get podium this weekend and u can celebrate for us 🤗🤗🤗
billieeilish: crying again i love you guys
ynrrysweethearts: EEEEEK
niallhoran: Gnomeo and Juliet back and better than ever!
> harrystyles: Rude.
madisonbeer: ur literally perfect in every way goddd i miss u guys so much
> yourinstagram: madisonbeer we miss u our precious daughter
harrystyles: We’re so cute. I love us.
harrystyles: I love you times infinity. It makes sense that you’ll probably be my first and last feature. H Xxxx
> yourinstagram: first and last but a few more right 🥹🥹
daylightyn: our parents!!!!!
alexandrasaintmleux: my beautiful angel girlllll
> yourinstagram: alex my love i miss u to bits
francisca.cgomes: we miss u on the paddock sweet bby 💞
> yourinstagram: oh my god kika i miss u so much its a problem
——
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liked by yourinstagram, niallhoran, and 9,266,166 others
harrystyles: HATE TO BE LAME. OUT NOW.
view all 78,189 comments
yourinstagram: 🤭🤭🤭
yourinstagram: love youuuuuuu so muchsies
> harrystyles: I love you moresies. Xx
yourinstagram: ok look at us being models
yourinstagram: am i hyping u up enough
> harrystyles: yourinstagram Yes. Fueling my ego.
yourinstagram: my precious baby angel sugar cookie muffin pie <3 <3
> harrystyles: You’re insane.
user1: MORESIES??????? WTF
user2: he just said moresies yn is influencing him too much 😭😭😭
> yourinstagram: user2 its my job!!!! 😁😁
user3: they’re both on the writing credits they prob wrote it together 😭😭😭
oscarpiastri: dad!!!!!!!!
> harrystyles: No. ❤️
user4: harry calling yn insane is so funny like hes def heard worse
user5: i love them so bad oh my god
user6: I DIDNT KNOW HARRY AND THE F1 BOYS WERE FRIENDS
> user7: yes!!! yn’s sister was a mechanic for ferrari and is now lando’s race engineer so they all get along really well!
yourinstagram: sorry im back here again WE R SO CUTEEEEEE
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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 7 months ago
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Hi was just going through the post on “hale” which was searched cause my cat is such a mediating little baby and it was a pic of stiles flirting with Derek and Scott just validating and hyping stiles up, and I wanted to know if you know or can recommend some good Scott himbo fanfics, just him being a dude bro himbo who loves stiles so much, especially with working hard to get Stiles and Derek together.
Thank you!!,! It can included as many himbo as you like!,!!!!
Yeah!
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The Matchmaking Alpha (or Two Dumb Love Birds Attack) by NathTE
(1/? I 300 I Teen)
Scott was tired of seeing Stiles and Derek dancing around each other, which made it even more frustrating as he was the one both chose to come to talk about the other.
So, he decided he was going to help them realize, that their supposedly unrequited love, wasn’t that unrequited anyway.
Come Over Here And Make Me by tabbytabbytabby
(1/1 I 1,759 I Teen)
Stiles and Derek get stuck together when Scott and Mason team up and find a way to keep them trapped at Derek's. It works out better than they expected.
For the prompts: “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.” and “Come over here and make me.”
McLinski's by StaciNadia
(1/1 I 3,075 I General)
Derek is a coffee snob looking for some good coffee, but what he finds is bad coffee jokes and maybe a whole lot more.
ones you never expected by Marishna
(1/1 I 3,832 I Mature)
A few seconds later Stiles and Derek heard the elevator start its laborious descent to the ground floor.
Stiles kept his head buried in one of the new books he picked up, scanning the passages for any keyword or phrasing that sounded similar to what their allied San Bernadino pack friends were dealing with. Finally, after three long, drawn-out minutes, Derek dropped his pen to the table and pushed back from it.
“They’re gone,” he told Stiles who stuck a piece of paper between the pages to mark his place and shut his book.
“About time! Now, strip,” he ordered.
How To Get Your Idiot Friends Together: A Four Step Process by Scott McCall by reptilianraven
(1/1 I 4,344 I General)
"He laughs at your jokes, man. How blind can you be?"
Stiles makes this face like he ate a lemon or something. "Are we talking about the same guy here? Because Derek Hale has never once laughed at my jokes."
"No, he does the thing where he exhales quickly through his nose. Like when you see something funny on the internet." Scott says and oh my god. "Stiles he thinks you're funny like how things on the internet are funny. I don't get why I have to explain this to you!"
-
In which Scott plays matchmaker because he'd probably go insane if these two idiots can't get their fucking act together.
[slide] by sonic_counselor
(1/1 I 16,506 I Mature)
He’s worked at the movie theater for just over a year now and it’s probably the best job he’s ever had, although that’s not entirely a fair comparison when the only other jobs he’s ever had involved raking leaves for Mrs. Huckabee next door and doing some filing for his dad at the station.
He’s also had a crush on Derek for just over a year, ever since his first day at the theater when their overbearing and probably certifiably insane general manager, Bobby Finstock, had declared he didn’t have time to do Stiles’ induction and had palmed him off on Derek instead because he happened to be walking past the office.
# #
Working at the movie theater alongside his crush is all getting a little too much for Stiles. It's just as well Scott, and his terrible matchmaking plans, are on hand to help out.
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sun-stricken · 9 months ago
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Hello. I absolutely love your Fairy Tail head-canons, especially about demon slayer Gray. Feel free to take or leave these little ideas. Always love when you post <3
~
Imagine Team Natsu has to rent a vehicle or something and they require actual legal paperwork like a birth certificate and address or something like that (more than just “guild business! Gonna need this!”). Lucy doesn’t want to rent it because there is no way she’s going to be responsible for the inevitable damage. Erza, being the leader and a good friend volunteers. A few minutes later she comes back out, puzzled.
Erza: “why would they need a birth certificate? Shouldn’t me being present be proof enough of my existence?”
Gray starts snickering in the background. Natsu goes in next but comes out even earlier than Erza, cause at least Erza had a probably legal address at Fairy Hills, Natsu on the other hand lives in a house in the woods.
By the time Wendy goes in the receptionist is exasperated. “Yes I understand you are with Fairy Tail but that isn’t until page three of the paper work. None of you have made it past the first page.”
Gray finds this all very amusing.
Lucy: “Since you find it so amusing why don’t you go register, Gray!?”
Gray: mutters something
Natsu: “What do you mean you’re legally dead?!”
Cause you know, Ur just found a kid (the only survivor) and just decided to keep him. Oh, no official rescue crews didn’t show up until two days later? My kid now :)
The search and rescue teams never found any survivors in Gray’s old town so everyone was pronounced dead. The magic council or whoever is in charge of that stuff is also disorganized enough that no one realized that Gray Fullbuster is both a famous wizard and supposedly dead. So, just, Gray technically being considered legally dead the entire time he was at Fairy Tail.
~
Also, the slayers all going out on a job together(the dragon slayers had to drag Gray). The job turns out to be a trap (surprise!) and the floor just opens up revealing a giant vehicle.
Dark mage: “Ha-ha! I have bested the dragon slayer! The most powerful mages-“spots Gray just chilling, perfectly fine and not motion sick. “what are you doing?” Cause the guy was planning to capture dragon slayer, not whatever a demon slayer was (the dark mage didn’t even know demon slayers were a thing). Gray defeats the dark mage but holds it over Natsu’s head for a week.
After that anytime a large group of dragon slayers takes a job together they take Gray along for “extra security during transportation” or just extra security in general.
I also head-canon that each type of slayer magic has its own unique weakness. Dragon slayers get severely motion sick. God slayers are claustrophobic. Demon slayers cannot handle sweets. If Gray gets even a whiff of cake or any other dessert his gag reflex acts up and he gets really nauseous and other stuff like that. He of course hid it at first (he was afraid Erza would disown him) but eventually everyone learned about the weakness of demon slayers. Natsu teases him about it but never pushes it too far to the point of accidentally making Gray really sick.
Anyways, sorry for the long ask. Feel free to expand on anything. Always love some good slayer bonding head-canons and just Fairy Tail head-canons in general. <3
This was so much fun to make tbh so domt apologize, i love long asks <3 and thank for for what you said ant my posts! theyre fun to make so im glad ppl enjoy them
Oh, you have no idea how often ive though about Gray being legally dead, my personal favorite scenario is him trying to fix it and prove himself alive but cant
“How the fuck would i know my social security number??? i was eight years old! i had no reason to know!!!”
There was no dna or finger-print records of him or his family so he couldn’t prove it that way either. Apparently, declaring someone born or dead is easier than someone ‘resurrected’. To the law Gray of Isvan is dead and although Gray of Fiore bares similarities, they are two different people.
But ALSO to the law Gray of Fiore doesnt exist bc he has no birth certificate. And while hes adamant, he has no real proof beyond his word he is Gray Fullbuster of Isvan.
So basically, According to the law, Both Gray Fullbuster of Isvan and Fiore are dead and never existed, respectively.
tbh this sounds like an identity crisis waiting to happen, but what else is new with him
Erza probably tried to fix it after she was told bc she legally didnt exist for a minute either (never was filed as a real person, she was able to file for a late birth certificate on account that she wasnt claiming to be a ‘separate’ person and also Makarov did it for her) (dont ask why he didnt for Gray, i like plot holes). But quickly realized their situations were very different, him waiting over a decade to check in as a survivor with the proper authorities definitely weakened his case considering he was running around free before he decided he needed a birth certificate.
But hey, as long as he doesn’t need to rent something, or get a license or id, or work somewhere beyond Fairy Tail, or get married, or, god forbid, die again, he should be fine!
i wonder if he would be considered a ‘john doe’ if he actually died again since they have ‘no’ birth records
This also makes games like ‘two truths and a lie’ amazing
“alright so, im legally dead, i legally dont exist, and ive never physically died before” “Gray what the hell do you mean” “Guess the right one and ill tell you” “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN THOUGH??”
i love everything to do with the ‘dragon slayers + gray’ dynamic
‘Extra security’ just turns into Gray babysitting a bunch of rambunctious dragons for hours. seriously, get this guy a reward for how he hasnt killed or maimed any of them yet.
Imagine them trying to convince Gray to walk to their destination instead of taking the train
“Its not that far!!” “its fucking 5 hours by train, How long do you think itll take to walk? Why would even you pick this job if you knew how long the ride would be??” … “nobody looked..” “are you actually serious.” … “oh my fucking god”
and thats the story of how one Demon slayer ended up having to babysit 4 very pitiful looking Fairy Tail Dragon slayers on a train. Dude had to drag them off it once it stopped too.
His side career of ‘Dragon Slayer Babysitter’ only gets harder when they realize holy shit! cold compresses can help nausea! and what do they have? a walking cold compress.
Taking a train trip with them just means second hand nausea AND embarrassment, and absolutely no personal space. A dream come true.
At least he gets to hold it over their heads
Tbh i like the irony of Dragon Slayers being motion sick because, yk, dragons can fly, so my hc for side effects for God Slayers and Demon Slayers were along the same lines
God Slayers being wide open space or flying since Gods are like the epitome of freedom? all knowing and have complete reign over everything, But claustrophobia works so much better for that same reason. It would cause extreme panic and rash decisions
And Demon Slayers was the dark because demons are supposed to be these evil creatures who thrive in the dark n stuff? basically it would send a Demon Slayer into a paranoid spiral.
But sweets being a weakness instead is such a silly thing that im gonna take it and run
Gray never cared for sweets in the first place, gave him a stomachache, but now he has to walk away from Erza mid conversation if she decides to indulge, which is almost everyday. She was absolutely heartbroken and devastated when the weakness was revealed, it was such a dramatic reaction one wouod think she was the one with the new weakness
When Gray pokes fun at Natsus motion sickness he’ll go on about how Gray is gonna have the lamest parties since he cant handle even the smell of sweets, especially cake.
A terrible realization for everyone involved with him, on par with when Gray realized he wouldnt be able to have ice cream comfortably again, thats like a staple for ice mages
heart wrenching, truly
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aphrvdisiac · 2 months ago
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oh i know when ellabs fight with eachother reader is stressed tfff out. its rare, but when it happens its not pretty. they have been getting on each others last fucking nerve for the past week and on the fifth day of ellie mocking abby like a child and abby making unnecessary rude comments when ellie’s in the room, the blow up finally comes.
you enter your shared living room where abby is meal prepping her post workout meals in the kitchen and ellie is sketching in her notebook on the couch, you prance over in your mini skirt and a short cardigan layered over your tiny crop top and let your girlfriends know your headed off to lunch with dina, who is introducing you to a friend of hers. she is certain the two of you will get along well and was hoping your over bearing girlfriends would be chill with it because it’s dina’s close friend.
the problem was though, you had only asked abby if you could go to this little brunch and she hesitantly agreed. she trusted dina and would have a friend of abby’s keeping a close eye on you while you were out little did you know. and with ellie and abby being petty with each other all week, abby hadent exactly gotten around to telling ellie this. so when you walk into the living room dressed as skimpy as the weather would allow and saying your goodbyes, ellie was a little more than confused.
“and where the hell do you think your going?”
you tilted your head in confusion “…out with dina and her friend? did i forget to tell you?” you were starting to worry abby had changed her mind about letting you go.
“and who told you y-“ “she asked me, is there a fucking problem williamson?” abby abruptly put down the tupperwear she had in her hands, turning to ellie and cutting her off
“your my problem anderson-“ “get a god damn grip-“ “oh please dont play the tough act with me-“ “i’m gonna fucking-“
the yelling echos through the opened floored room making you slightly flinch. being the sweetheart you are, you assumed it was your fault they were arguing and guilt filled you instantly; regretting even making plans at all. tears fell down your cheeks faster than you could register them. not wanting to cause more trouble you run into your shared bedroom away from the arguing girls. this shuts they both up as they turn with furrowed brows watching you hurry away from them with red eyes and puffy cheeks.
without another word they follow you into the room and knocking on the locked door, argument lost in their concern for you.
abby speaks first when you don’t immediately open the door “angel? it’s okay we’re done it’s done, need you open the door for us” then ellie piped up “your okay baby, wanna talk to you”
and you do. unlocking the door and sitting back on the bed you sniffle and the apologies instantly spill from your mouth.
“m’ sorry ill stay home. im sorry im so sorry. didn’t mean to make you upset els. i didn’t know. i’m sorr-“
“baby baby relax. come back yeah? you not in trouble sweet girl, what’s going on?” ellie comforts as she takes a seat next to you on the bed, guiding your head down into her neck where you sniffle and wrap your arms around her. abby follows, sitting on the other side of you and rubbing her big hands on your bare back under your top. “made you argue, i didn’t mean to js’ wanted to go see dina..”
“oh angel, you did nothing wrong, breathe baby. we’re not mad at you. just having a bad week is all. nothing to do with you perfect girl. we didn’t mean to scare you we’re so sorry.” abby speaks gently to you. she takes ellie’s hand behind your back, kissing it in silent apology, which ellie sends her a soft smile in return.
“but i-“ “shh no no no stop putting things in that head of yours. we’re not upsest anymore everything is okay. our crybaby huh? we know honey, just so sensitive yeah?“ abby continues to soothe your sniffling
“poor girl, looks like we have to show you how much we love you more, hm? i’ve got a few ideas. abs?”
“mmm i think i know just the way”
this is bootycheeks but whatever bc what better to do on my work lunch break then flood your inbox with my silly thoughts and this probably has 700 typos so just close your eyes
overstimulated and crybaby reader you are so me and lana you get it so well like….
ellie and abby’s hearts simply breaking at the sound of their girl weeping and sniffling, guilt running through them as they should know better than to even argue in front of you. when they see you teary-eyed with a pout on your face after they tell you to look at them, they know so many ways they’re gonna make it up to you.
they felt silly to even be fighting with each other to begin with because look at the consequences ): they got you crying and freaking out from them yelling at one another, and they always tried their absolute best not to. ):
ugghhh and the fact they’ll give you anything you in order for them to make it up to you… they’re such saps for their girl.
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ragecndybars · 25 days ago
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hi i drank too much caffeine and i'm gonna rant about my naorise fake dating fic that i'll probably never finish now
this is post-catching adachi, maybe fully post-canon or maybe taking place soon after the final boss (i've written openings for both versions lmao).
naoto is transmasc but shhh he hasn't come to terms with it yet (fic starts out using she/her until he figures shit out, but this post will use he/him throughout for clarity)
naoto and rise are just hanging out together but it gets pretty late. at one point they have a meet-cute-esque "rise trips and falls into naoto's arms" type moment, but they both just brush it off without thinking about it much
...except they wake up the next morning to find someone snuck a pic of them seemingly embracing and ok wow that really looks like they're a thing. and ok now its in Every Tabloid. like All Of Them.
rise's publicity agent is like EMERGENCY MEETING. rise tries to tell them that there's nothing going on between them, but it doesn't matter anymore; the gossip rags have already picked up on it, and there's absolutely no way to stop the rumors now.
naoto, despite hating the idea for reasons he can't quite articulate yet, suggests that they could probably get people to leave them alone if he "admitted to being a woman" quote unquote, which would strengthen their "really, seriously just friends" claim. rise is staunchly against this (she doesn't know naoto's trans anymore than naoto does at this point, but she can Tell that naoto actually feels physically ill at the idea of having to announce "her" gender to the world at large like that)
someone at rise's talent agency has. an alternative suggestion.
"no one is going to believe that you two aren't dating. but if you pretend to be dating--just for a week or so!--and then stage a break up, people will buzz for a month and then forget about it entirely."
rise: [has had a crush on naoto for months] wow that's a great idea thank you so much for your suggestions
naoto: [has had a crush on rise for at least a week] wait wait wait hold on holdon just just wait a second lets talk about it lets talk about it
(he gives in quickly because God Does He Not Want To Call Himself A Woman In The News)
so they have to fake date for a while. cue typical fake dating hijinks such as "we have to come up with a fake story about how we fell in love. let's look into each other's eyes and discuss what aspects about each other might have made us fall in love." and "we're in public so we'd better hold hands" and so on and so forth
wow! what a sweet, relaxed, low-stakes story
cue hardcore risette fans harassing them incessantly
cue people at school prying and making them both super uncomfy bc they just want a little privacy
cue paparazzi everywhere and more "candids" popping up in the tabloids
cue Naoto Gender Feelings Part 2: Can't Just Pretend It's About Misogyny This Time Because Why Does It Make Me So Happy To Be Perceived As A Boy By The Tabloids Which Are Ruining My Life Right Now
and, of course, cue "oh fuck we don't want to be fake dating, we want to be Dating Dating" realization.
i didn't even have an ending planned out other than "risette stalker makes brief appearance and naoto almost shoots him straight up", "naoto comes out to a resounding "didn't we already know that?" from his friends", "they kiss", and "sorry, publicity manager, we are not breaking up <3"
I'm probably not even gonna finish chapter 1 at this point, much less the whole fic, but I had to get the idea out somehow. enjoy.
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memberment · 5 months ago
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GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.
But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.
We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.
BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?
Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?
Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)
So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):
(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?
(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.
And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.
COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE
I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.
I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.
Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3
(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.
Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)
(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳
(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.
Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.
Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)
IN ONE MONTH.
THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO
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I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours
(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.
Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.
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atomicladytimetravel · 2 years ago
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If It’s Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right Part 1 - Brat
Summary: After wandering alone for days, you’re taken into Jackson by Tommy and Joel. You butt heads with Joel at first - he’s mean and you’re a brat - but things get spicy later.
A little mean!Joel, female reader, dirty talk but no sex in this part. 20+ year age gap (reader is in her 30s, Joel is in his 50s). I’m gonna say MDNI because this will get explicit later on. 18+ ONLY.
I rewrote the previous story I posted. I like this version better and I’m going to do a series with it. I’m not sure of the word count, I wrote this on my phone.
I wonder where the fuck I am.
You’d been walking for days past dilapidated strip malls and through ghost towns with no names. You searched for any signs of life, but had found none. You had seen abandoned campsites and communities and you searched them, hoping to find food that had been left behind, but to no avail. You ran out of food and water yourself two days ago and you were getting desperate.
You were the lone survivor of a clicker attack that had wiped out the small group you had been traveling with. The gun holstered at your hip was useless, as you’d used all the bullets putting down clickers, and then your friends. You were a skilled fighter, but unfortunately, your friends had not been. Your father had been ex-military and, though you were only ten when the outbreak began, he taught you everything he could to protect yourself.
As the sun began to set, you started looking for a place to bunker down for the night. Traveling alone in the daytime was dangerous enough, especially for a woman. You considered herself lucky that you hadn’t run into anyone else so far.
You settled for a small house that looked relatively intact. You cautiously opened the front door and peered inside, scanning the front room for any danger. Once you were satisfied that the room was clear, you went inside and quietly checked the kitchen and dining room. You scanned the cabinets for food, but came up empty handed. You were getting ready to check the other rooms when a clicker emerged from the last door down the hallway. Then, a second appeared next to it. Your plan was to leave as quietly as possible, but when you took your first step back, your foot crunched on broken glass.
Shit.
The clickers whipped around at the sound and you took off running. The only thing you had to defend herself was the knife given to you by your father years ago. You unsheathed it while you ran. You got lucky and sunk the knife into the head of the first clicker before it could attack. You yanked it out and threw it at the second one, the blade sinking right into its skull. If the clicker had a target on its head, you would’ve hit the bullseye. You pulled the knife from the second clicker and stood with your chest heaving. You were dizzy, weak from a lack of sustenance. You turned and saw two men on horses watching you.
“Nice throw,” one of them said.
“Thanks,” you panted before promptly passing out.
When you awoke, you were lying on a cot in a makeshift infirmary. You sat up and looked around, catching the attention of a woman on the other side of the room.
“You’re awake!” the woman smiled. She poured some water from a pitcher and brought it to you.
“Oh my god, thank you,” you said, taking the glass from her. You drank the entire thing in seconds.
“Where am I?” you asked once the glass was empty.
“You’re in Jackson, Wyoming. A couple of our patrolmen brought you in after you passed out,” she replied. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Tommy will want to know you’re awake.”
She left the room, returning a few minutes later with a man and another woman.
“Hi, I’m Tommy Miller. This is my wife Maria,” he introduced them. They both smiled warmly. You gave them your name.
“How are you feeling?” Maria asked.
“Weak, but okay,” you responded.
“That was some impressive knife work out there,” Tommy complimented. “What else can you do?”
You shrugged.
“Shoot, hand to hand combat - my dad was ex-military.”
“We’ll have to see what you’ve got once you have your strength back. We could use a good fighter for patrol,” Tommy said.
“You want me to stay?” you asked.
“Only if you want to.”
You only had to consider it for a moment. You had nowhere else to go and no plans.
“That’s very generous and I would love to. Thank you.”
Life in Jackson was infinitely better than the life outside you’d become accustomed to. There was a steady supply of food and water and you had a job - Tommy put you on the patrol rotation as soon as he found out how good of a fighter you were. You made fast friends with a girl named Holly you’d met while volunteering in the community garden.
You’d made several friends, actually. You were the kind of person who was nice until given a reason not to be. If anyone was going to give you a reason not to be, it was Tommy’s older brother Joel. He was standoffish and more than a little rude. Most people in Jackson were intimidated by him, but you weren’t. He got under your skin from time to time, sure, but you could most definitely handle him if you needed to.
Unfortunately, he was as attractive as he was rude. He was ruggedly handsome with salt and pepper hair and deep brown eyes. He had a good twenty years on you, at least, but that didn’t stop the dirty thoughts from crossing your mind.
Admittedly, it was you who started the first argument between yourself and Joel. He had it coming, though. You’d literally just met the man and he had been so rude.
He was sitting alone at the bar in the Tipsy Bison. Tommy took you to meet him once you’d gotten out of the infirmary, considering Joel was the man with him the day they took you in. You’d said hello and smiled at him, but all you got in return was an uninterested glance.
“I said hello,” you asserted.
“Hello,” he scowled, rolling his eyes.
“Joel, don’t be rude,” Tommy sighed.
“Don’t worry about it Tommy,” you said, glaring at Joel. “If this is how he is, I don’t want to talk to him anyway.”
“I’m truly disappointed,” Joel deadpanned as you walked away.
“You should be!” you countered over your shoulder.
The second time was his fault. You were minding your business in the garden when he approached.
“Well, well, if it isn’t The Brat,” he taunted. You wrinkled your nose at him.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Don’t act like one,” he shrugged. You sighed and put down your gardening shears.
“Do you need something, Miller?”
“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, would I?”
“Listen, just tell me what you want. I’m not in the mood for your bull shit,” you huffed. He raised an eyebrow. Had he finally met his match?
“Tomatoes,” he grumbled.
“Fine,” you nodded. You gathered some tomatoes in a basket and handed them to him without looking at him
“What kind of customer service is this?” he quipped.
“The kind you get when you get on my fucking nerves,” you sassed. “If that’s it, kindly get the fuck out of here.”
His eyebrows furrowed angrily.
“Don’t tell me what to do, brat,” he argued.
“Oh my god,” you said exasperatedly. “Miller, I have better things to do than argue with you. Do you need something else or are we done here?”
He scowled at you and left without a reply. You were starting to hate him, but you hated yourself even more for thinking about him whenever your hand was between your legs.
Every other interaction with Joel went about the same - he was rude and you were combative. He liked to call you brat and that both infuriated you and turned you on.
Everything came to a head one day after a few months of the back and forth. It was late afternoon, about an hour before you were supposed to report for patrol. You were sitting on your porch reading your favorite book. Tommy was approaching in the distance, but you were so engrossed in the story that you didn’t see him. You also didn’t hear when he called your name the first time. When he called out a little louder, you jumped and looked over at him.
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Didn’t mean to scare ya.”
“No worries,” you laughed. “What’s up Tommy?”
“You’re on patrol with Simpson tonight, right?” he asked. You sighed. If anyone here was as annoying as Joel, it was Paul Simpson. He was obnoxious and didn’t know when to stop talking.
“Supposed to be, unfortunately.”
“Well I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that he broke his hand and won’t be able to help tonight,” he said with a grin. Tommy wasn’t Simpson’s biggest fan either.
“Great! So what’s the bad news?”
“Joel is his replacement.”
“Ugh, Tommy why?” you whined.
“Nobody else could do it,” he shrugged. “Listen, I need to go meet Maria. Be a doll and tell me for him, will ya?”
He turned without waiting for an answer. He didn’t want to be the one to tell his brother he had to work on his night off with his least favorite person.
“Hey! He’s your brother!” you called after him.
“Sorry!” he called back over his shoulder.
“This should be fun,” you grumbled to yourself as you marked your place in your book.
You found Joel in the Tipsy Bison, sitting alone at the bar. You sat next to him on one of the barstools and gave him a sarcastic smile when he looked at you.
“What do you want, brat?” he asked gruffly. You rolled your eyes at the name.
“Simpson’s off duty tonight. He broke his hand,” you answered.
“What’s that got to do with me?” he snapped.
“Tommy says you’re his replacement.”
“And why can’t you be his replacement?” he asked, annoyed.
“You’re gonna love this,” you laughed dryly. “I’m already on duty.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” he hissed, his fist slamming on the bar. Several people flinched, but you did not. You glared at him.
“Listen Miller, I know everyone else here is intimidated by you, but you don’t fucking scare me. I don’t know if you just need to get laid or what, but I’m tired of your fucking attitude. You,” you poked your finger into his arm, “are going to learn to talk to me with some god damn respect.”
You pushed the barstool away from the bar and headed for the door. Joel downed the rest of his drink and followed you. Everyone in the bar watched the two of you curiously as you exited.
“I don’t owe you any fucking respect,” Joel spat. “I don’t even know you.”
“Go fuck yourself Miller,” you said without turning around. “And adjust your attitude before patrol.”
You entered your house and slammed the door. Joel barged in behind you and slammed it again.
“Excuse me, this is my - “
He cut you off with a hand to your throat, pushing you against the wall. The action made desire pool in your belly.
“Who do you think you are talking to me like that?” he growled. You smirked at him.
“Are you trying to scare me? I already told you, I’m not afraid of you.”
“Yeah? Even with my hand wrapped around your pretty little throat?” he asked, his face inches from yours.
“My pretty little throat, huh? Sounds less like you want to hurt me and more like you want to fuck me,” you teased. You looked up at him seductively. “What if I told you I’d let you?”
“God damn it,” he mumbled before his lips crashed against yours. He moved his hand from your throat and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your body to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. It was all tongue and teeth, desperate, like this was something you’d both wanted for a while.
“I see you walking around here in these little cutoff shorts,” he said, reaching down and squeezing your ass. “That ass just begging to be spanked like you deserve.”
“You think about me Joel?” you murmured sultrily. He was almost ashamed to admit how many times he’d jerked himself off thinking about you. Almost.
“Every time I touch my cock, sugar,” he smirked. The thought set your body on fire.
“I like to think about getting you all fired up so you’ll run that little brat mouth,” he said, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip. “Spank you a little and then shove my cock down your throat.” You were practically melting at his words. “I bet you get off on being a brat, huh?”
“Maybe I do,” you responded cheekily. “Is that why you’re such a dick? Cause you get off on me being a brat?”
His hand was still on your ass and he gave it a sharp spank. You squealed and he chuckled.
“Maybe so.”
“You know if you want to fuck, you can just say so. I’ll be your brat whenever you want me to be,” you told him. You popped the top button on his flannel and moved your pointer finger in circles on his chest. “You can use me however you want.”
You undid a few more buttons as you talked and you pressed soft kisses to his chest.
“God damn, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he groaned. He caught sight of the clock you kept on the wall and swore under his breath.
“We only got five minutes sugar. Gonna have to pick this up after patrol.”
“Damn,” you sighed. “Okay. It’s gonna look real weird with you coming out of my house after all this time though.”
“Just yell at me as I go out the door. Slam it. Make it look real convincing,” he said. He walked towards the door; before he opened it, he turned to you with a smirk.
“I’m going to fucking ruin you later.”
“I hope so,” you said, returning his smirk. He opened the door and you put on your best angry face.
“Get the fuck out Miller, and don’t ever barge into my house again!” you yelled.
“Fuck off!” he yelled back. “And don’t fucking be late!”
You slammed the door, a grin spreading across your face.
This will be fun.
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chrisismine22 · 7 months ago
Text
Not enough
FIRST POST.
chris and you are"freinds" right?
TW! smut, unprotected sex, p in v, use of toys, masturbating, pet names, language, drinking.
y/n and chris
It was 10 at night and you were exhausted from your meetings. Tomorrow was a big day and you were so exited. You were planning on meeting up with a bunch of your friends for the triplets birthday. You were most exited to see Chris. You and the triplets had been friends since high school but you had connection with Chris. You didn't know what it was but being around him made you feel warm and cozzy. His voice was calming and he was HILARIOUS. You decided to text him before you went to bed.
y/n:Heyyy wyd
Chris: hey y/n im trying to go to sleep rn but u texted me
y/n: shut up bru
Chris: well Nick invited Larray. I thought you would be happy so ya
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
you and Larray were such good friends. His energy made your day. Everyday. Even when he was mad, it was still funny and made you giggle.
y/n:YAYYYYYY
Chris: glad ur happy y/n
well cu tmrw
y/n: byee chrisyyyyy
Chris: dont call me that
y/n: fineee
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talking to Chris made you so happy no matter the topic. You decided it was best for you to just sleep for now cause u also wanted to buy a new outfit tmrw.
next morning---
Its almost 12. "Shit, i'm gonna be late" You quickly got up from bed and went to change. You threw on some grey sweats and a baby-T. You didn't put on a bra tho cause you thought you were just gonna go to get an outfit. By the time you finished eating it was like 1 so you just decided to stay home. The mall was to far from your house to get new clothes so you just went to fix up you hair and put on some makeup. You were heading upstairs and when your phone started vibrating in your pocket. It was Chris calling.
"Hey Chrisy" you say with a smile cause you knew how he hated that name
"Shut up y/n. Do you want matt and I to pick you up. Nick said hes gonna try to get Tara to come to the party so he wont be coming to pick you up"
"Ya Im just gonna fix my hair and shi but you guys can come in like 20 min"
"ok let me tell Matty"
you giggled at the nickname Chris gave his brother. you just hung up the phone and started your make up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was about 30 min later and you were sitting on the couch. You didnt chage your clothes cause you would be uncofortable in smth fancy anyways. plus the triplets and u were close so it didnt matter what you wore. You heard a knock at ur door and got up from the couch. It was chris.
"HIIII" you said giving him a hug
"HIIII" he said hugging you back.
"wheres Matt?" you didnt see him because oyu were caught up in looking at Chris' new shirt. It was just a white T but it was right up on his abbs. "God" you thought to yourself
"Matts in the car waiting, ru ready?"
"oh ya sry we can go now" you said as you giggled a bit.
Chris was looking into your eyes but you didn't think anything of it cause you know, we're friends.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was now almost 9pm and the party was going great. Chris decided to get a little drunk which confused you cause he never drank. You were dancing when you felt two large hands on your waist. It was Chris
"Fuck you scared me chris"
"Sry ml"
you gasped at the new nickname. You knew he was drunk for sure
"Chris! get urself together bud" you laughed
His sleepy eyes looked into yours. You gasped again but this time, it was at the feeling in you stomach.
"Im not doing anything baby"
You didnt know what to say. because you liked it. You just decided to ingnore him until he pulled you in.
"Dont ignore me sweethart, I wanna hear your pretty voice again"
His low voice and the names you were given made you throb to you core. You decided it wouldnt be HOriBle.
"ok handsome" you dragged your fingers down his chest. You were drunk but not as drunk as him.
Chris didnt hesitate one bit, pulling you in and smashing his lips against yours. A slight moan escaped your throat at the sudden contact. You bodies were so close you could feel his bulge.
He broke the kiss, pulling you arm toward his room. It took you a second to realize what was going on after his kiss. Hypnotising as his tongue wandered your mouth. He swung open the door and pushed you in the bed.
"Chris what ru doing"
"Dont worry baby,"
You didnt know what to think because you guys were "friends". right?
Chris climbed on the bed, slamming his lips to yours again. You felt one of his hands travel down to your tits.
"Fuck you dont have a bra baby"
"Chris, we cant do this"you hated saying that cause you really did want to do this
"why not sweetheart"he groaned slowly kissing your neck
once again, you ignored him enjoying the plessure of his lips and his hands on you sensitive nipples. You were wet. So wet you couldn't explain.
After a bit of you whimpering and quietly moaning Chris kissed a trail down to your thighs. Before doing anything, he looked up at you for consent. You slowly nodded as he pulled your sweats of. He stared at the puddle formed in your thong.
"wet for me princess"
"Chris pleae--" you were interupted by a moan escaping your mouth as you rubbed slow but strong circles on your clit.
"please what baby, I wanna know what you want my love"
Your back arched at the feeling of his finger caressing your folds. "plea-please touch m--"
"you want me to make you feel good dont you"
you hummed in response loosing the ability to speek has the circles got faster and rough. You loved it so much. The pet names and his deep voice turned you on enough. without warning, Chris shoved two fingers into you. "Chris!" you moaned his name as his long veiny fingers hit your g-spot immediately. "you like that princess" he grinned as his pace sped up, still hitting your g-spot
"mhm" you whimpered as you felt a knot growing in you lower stomach. "Im-- close" you could barely get words out of your mouth because of the pure pleasure u felt. "cum all over my fingers baby" Those words set you off, squirting your liquid all over his finger. You were catching your breath when you looked at chris. his bulge was unbelievable and it turned you on, even after you just came."your such a good girl f'me you know" he praised you as he licked his fingers"taste so good mm" he groaned. Without thinking, you quickly pushed him on his back, desperate for him to be in you. You kissed him desperately as you grinded on his member. he was big, and you loved it. "wtf do you think your doing" he grabbed you hips holding them in place. "please chrisy, i want you daddy" you said whimpering at the loss of friction. That five letter word made him go crazy as he grinded you on him, helping you gain friction. You were a moaning mess and his boxers weren't even off yet. "your such a slut y/n. your my slut" You couldnt listen as you were derperate for his cock. lifting you hips, you slid his boxers down watching his long cock smack his pelvis. He was leaking pre-cum all over his pink tip. You decided to contain yourself for a bit as you palmed his tip slowly."agh fuck it--- feels so good" you knew he loved it from the groans and whimpers but you needed him now. You aligned his gurthy cock with you needy cunt and sank onto him. A pornographic moan escaped you mouth. "o princess your so tight i love it".
At this point you weren't listening to him, instead focused on the feeling of his dick deep inside you. he grabbed your waist only to thrust deeper into you. Both you guys' moans were getting uncontrollable. You could feel Chris' dick throbbing in you which meant he was close.
"fil-fill me up daddy"
The last word pushing hit to the edge. As you felt his warm liquid shoot inside of you the know in your stomach released, causing you to orgasm again. It felt so good. as you rode out you high chris started massaging your clit again. Again, it felt so good. the overstimulate wasnt painful but felt amazing. this time he wanted to be in charge. giving you barely any time to breath, he flipped you over onto your back again.
This time there was no teasing. You felt him slamming right into you. You did feel pain but it felt soooo goood. Your moans turned into screams as his member reached somewhere no one could reach. The squelching noises and your moans turned him on even more. You didnt think it was possible be this desperate for more but you were. He was pounding. All you could do was enjoy as you tits bounced up and down. it was mezmorizing how quiet but how loud he was. His groans made you reach you high faster each time. You were grspimg on the sheets as his cock made you nausuos in a good way. You couldnt get over it. Without saying anything you came all over him screaming his name
'' CHRIS OMFG'' your moans were so loud anyone could hear. As you were way overstimulated, Chris finaly came in you again. "fuck my princess" he moaned
He slowly pulled out as he flopped next to you on the bed.
''Fuckkk y/n your to good. I love you''
''I love you too chris''
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wizardofvamp · 28 days ago
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5, 6, 15, 16, 27 for you!
5. What's your least favourite clan? Why? I spent like ten years staring at my v20 pdf and soul searching and weirdly enough... Toreadors? I think its the Toreadors. I don't dislike them, they're just the ones I'm least likely to reach for. I chalk it up to the fact that I work at a theater as my day job, so "Immortal Art Guy" has less allure. Also idk if I'm gonna play an artist I'd rather go with a Malk or a Tzim, take exhibit A) Anatol. 6. Which clan haven't you played/ developed but would love to try?
Hecata/Giovanni. Both campaigns I ST for are fairly necromancer-light (small towns/SI infested backwoods) and I haven't gotten the chance to build a OC within the clan yet. Something I def want to do in the future!
15. Do any of your characters have a trait or flaw of your own? If so, what is it?
Marcel very much channels my college-aged self: rarely sober and always having to improvise around my own poor planning (and that planning was poor bc I was constantly stoned oops).
Also, the father/son mentor/apprentice dynamic Ana has with Kliment is in part inspired by my own relationship with my dad, who spent a good chunk of his life as an animator and taught me how to draw. I'm still semi-decent at it, but I don't have any art that's fit to post for the public gaze lol. 16. Do you have a character that was created from a dumb/ silly idea but now you can't imagine not having them?
Marcel!!! He started as a burner character--a burnout librarian caught stealing from a Tremere's private collection gets sired as a joke between Elders. A hapless, college DnD wizard expy fledgling Tremere to use as a chew toy while I learned v20 (it was my first ever WoD game!), but then he went from 0 to the walking embodiment of Eye Of The Storm in roughly a dozen sessions. Fun Fact: I had the basic concept for Anatol sketched out waaaaaay back in 2020, because the intention was that he'd be Marcel's replacement. But then Marcel just... never died. Head-on car collision? "Thank God I was drinking." Abducted by SI? Survived. Sabbat doppelganger out for his neck? Diablerized. Werewolf? (barely)Survived. Demon? He thriiiiiiiived, bay-beee. He's STILL up and kicking after 5 fucking years of sessions. The Elders who sired him as a joke? Dead. Also? He's Prince now, fuck you. Half the city is in a literal sinkhole, don't worry about it, that's a problem for the next Prince. He's fucking a koldun who looks like the Shape Of Water fish that lives at the bottom of Lake Michigan. He now owns the most popular freshwater fishermen strip club, the Hook, Line and Sink-Her. He's picking up mycology, much to everyone's protestation and distress. It has been canonically confirmed that a universe where Marcel is born and the city still stands intact does not exist--more omen than man. So, the average MLB team owner (Go Lampreys).
27. (Dream Chronicle) Where and when is it set?
Oh lord this could be so many thingssss. Early 2000's Mammoth Cave region in Kentucky is one of my fav places I've built for my own vamp game, though if I had to choose somewhere that I haven't developed... prob stick with the same region, but in at the turn of the century when cave exploration/exploitation was booming in the area.
That, or something set in the 70s/80s, a midwestern town with a large limestone mine. Ideally that one would have its fair share of Mage shenanigans, as well.
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kandisheek · 11 months ago
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FIC REC WEEK 12 – OTHER MARVEL SHIPS
SAM/BUCKY
just won't do right by glittercake
Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 7,521 Tags: Jealous Bucky, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Sam
Summary: Sam's eyebrows go up, impressed, and he reaches over to squeeze Torres' shoulder, "This is amazing, kid. Thanks, really." Bucky sits and watches in utter horror as the pink darkens on Torres' cheeks. Oh, he realizes. Oh. Fuck.
Reasons why I love it: Jealous Bucky is just the best. And I love Torres, so having him be the catalyst for some good old Sam-Bucky angsting is fantastic. Sarah is amazing in this too, I love all of their characterizations honestly. This fic is super sweet, and if you haven't already, I hope you check it out for yourself!
Subtlety Not Our Strong Point by copperbadge
Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: T Words: 2,944 Tags: Alternate Universe, Engagement, Brunch
Summary: Bucky is not good at proposing, but once he managed, he and Sam were going to let people find out organically. Unfortunately, Tony Stark has never done anything organically in his life.
Reasons why I love it: Whelp, say what you want, but you can't deny it – Bucky's way has its merits. I love this one, Sam and Bucky are so in love, and Tony crashing their plans without even meaning to is fucking hilarious. This fic is really sweet, and I hope you go and check it out for yourself!
show me if you want me (and i will be your friend) by notcaycepollard
Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: E Words: 3,027 Tags: Casual Sex, Friends With Benefits, Porn With Feelings
Summary: Bucky's gotta give it to the future for this: they've turned casual sex into a goddamn art. What is a friend with benefits, he types into Google, and spends the next two hours reading about the distinctions between booty calls and friends with benefits and fuck buddies. It’s extremely informative. He’s gonna put it to good use, like, pretty much immediately.
Reasons why I love it: Jesus Christ, this fic is so hot, holy shit. And just as the cherry on top, there are feelings all over it, good, mushy feelings, fuck yes. I love how Bucky ambushes Sam in the beginning and how Sam just goes with it. It's so fun and so sweet and oh my god, you need to read this if you haven't, it's so good!
three words that became hard to say by suzukiblu
Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 1,924 Tags: Male Friendship, Fluff, Bucky Needs a Hug
Summary: “I wanna step out with Wilson,” Bucky says, audibly traumatized. Steve blinks again, and lowers the shield. “Uh,” he says. “Come again?”
Reasons why I love it: Their voices in this are so perfect, that old-timey forties Brooklyn drawl. I love Steve and Bucky's friendship here, and Steve's need to protect Bucky and keep him happy always is so heartwarming. Plus, Bucky's crush on Sam is the cutest thing ever. I love this fic to bits, and I bet you will too!
what i like about you baby (is how you annoy me daily) by notcaycepollard
Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: M Words: 8,951 Tags: Post-Civil War, Bickering, Roommates
Summary: “I’m not sharing my room,” Sam mutters, knowing as he says it that it sounds exactly like he’s a fucking ten year old facing a new sibling. Steve hastily makes what Sam thinks is supposed to be an understanding face. “Of course not,” he says soothingly. “He can bunk in with me, it’s not like we haven’t done it before. It's a twin room, anyway, there's already a spare bed.” Sam guesses a bigger house is out of the question. Whatever; the three of them have spent eight hours crammed in a Mini, it can’t be that bad. It’s not that bad. It’s worse.
Reasons why I love it: Sam and Bucky being asshole roommates while Steve despairs at them from the sidelines is something I never knew I needed. This fic is so fucking good, funny and heartfelt and adorable in turns, with fantastic dialogue and characterization. I love it so much, and I hope you go and read it for yourself, because it's amazing!
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ahsoka-its-all-of-us · 2 years ago
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Finally home and I can watch the Bad Batch season finale
So you know what’s gonna happen next
I’m about to scream into the void in a post that is probably gonna be mostly incoherent
Anyway, here goes!
Omega including Crosshair ;-; and then Hunter immediately being on the fence about it 🙄 Like dude just admit you don’t want him back ugh. At least the others overruled him
What mission is Rex on? Is it smooching Ahsoka?
TECH AND PHEE you know I changed my mind about them, I think they’re adorable ;-;
I am understanding the Tech stans more and more, man is hot when he’s in his element 😳
I love that dude at the summit who sort of stands up for the clones
KRENNIC AND PROJECT STARDUST NO OH MY GOD
Wrecker putting his faith in Omega but also straight up asking her if she’s up to instead of just putting her up for the job, god the man truly is the only sane one in the batch huh AND HE’S KICKING THE MOUSE DROID
SAW OH MY GOD DFKNFSLDNFRUGNKS I love how we’re getting more and more insight in his path towards being an extremist
Would this be around the time that his Lasat mercenary killed Kallus’s unit?
Also funny how this plan of his kinda parallels the one in Rebels season 4, but then it was Saw who wanted to follow the kyber crystal to its destination and the Alliance that wanted it destroyed
That was episode 15, now on to 16 👀👀👀
TARKIN GIVING THE DO IT LINE AMAZING
Hey you know who would have been extremely useful on this mission? Crosshair! The squad is not at its strongest without him
TECH NO!!!!!!!!!
Omega is me
You know I am not gonna accept it either. Tech is gonna do a Maul. He has to
So they’re giving up on Crosshair?
And they’re back with Cid? Why? Why not go directly to Pabu? Ofc she would betray them urgh
Fuck okay I said before that the Batch needed to experience loss, but I meant like Hunter or something ;-:
Maybe the clones are paternal because their template was, ever considered that?
NO HEMLOCK DON’T CANONISE IT NO NO NO
He’s lying. He’s got Tech detained too. Tech isn’t dead. I am not accepting this
Love how they both immediately know it’s Echo
Well we all knew this season would end with them having to save Omega
Crosshair ;-;
SEE I KNEW EMERIE WAS A CLONE
also
HUNTER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
TECH SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO SAVE HIS BROTHERS INCLUDING CROSSHAIR AND YOU WANNA REPAY THAT BY FUCKING RETIRING?!?!?
GO SAVE CROSSHAIR YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU
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notasapleasure · 1 year ago
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WIP ask meme
@stripedroseandsketchpads tagged me in this. And oh my god. If you think there are Too Many Words in the fic I publish, you should see my poor notes app. Here is a sneak peek of its contents. I haven't edited for brevity/those I'm actively working on, these are just all the unfinished files I could find. Some I don't intend to do any more with, others I'd really like to pick up again. The only ones being actively worked on right now are the Andor Saga AU and the first one on the list for Andor.
I put ALL the Lymond I could find in mainly for @oughtaagh who has been leaving the most lovely comments on my Lymond fics that I have totally failed to respond to. I'm sorry! I will cycle back round to Lymond one day, it's inevitable <3
Tagging uh.... @distressednoise, @r0b0tb0y, @faceofpoe, @donnaimmaculata, @batri-jopa, @elwenyere, @notabuddhist and anyone else who wants to say I tagged them! Also sorry if you'd already been tagged, I'm not keeping up with the dash very well at the moment!
Anyway please send me asks/comments/cease and desist orders about these. xxx
ANDOR
C: We decided we were thirsty, and you wanted to go to Cavo's. As yet untitled Brassian alternative scene - what if instead of a great collaborative cover story this was a great collaborative fuck? Almost(?) finished?
Saga AU pt 2. This actually does have a working title of 'The Bear and the Berserk' but this doc is just a short bullet point list of plot things for a specific part of the fic.
Cassian pov. It's a Cassian pov chapter! For...drumroll...the first chapter of the Saga AU pt 2! The rest is going to be back to Brasso FPN. The file actually includes a rough first draft of chapter 2, as well.
"You're up early this morning," Bix says lightly. A follow-up chapter to Only Ever Just One Night started back when I had epic plans for continuing this, bringing in Cinta and Vel and Luthen, whumping the hell out of Brasso, and having Cassian rescue him. This is just one scene of awkward conversation with tea though.
Oh god it developed Plot. Related to the previous chapter - a bullet-pointed list of things that might have happened in this fic I Wil Not Write (not least as I'd rather just see what happens in S2 first anyway).
AND THEN WE DANCED
It was a sunny day in Batumi... Patchy few paragraphs of the next chapter of Inchoate.
Plannnnns (again). Plans for how Inchoate would/will continue.
THE LYMOND CHRONICLES
Canon-verse/other AUs
Multiple pieces of follow-up to The next man with a ladder, Danny/Jerott post-canon: It was dark when they rode into the port town... [Chapter 3, basically done, plus most of Chapter 4 but it devolves into broken paragraphs at the end]. "I'm going to the other bed," Danny said in a voice like someone was standing on his throat... [??? there's loads of this written! This is the file where they Get Down To It] Stitch the scenes together [a few paragraphs in which I hoped to make a logical leap from Chapter 4 to fucking, but seemingly never quite got there].
Lymondar saga draft. Actually two files of the abortive first effort at writing a saga AU. I was trying much harder to write in saga style and playing with lacunae in a way that was fun for me but exceedingly nerdy. I think I found the idea more fun than the execution, too.
St Seb. Remember ages ago when I was writing a post-canon 'Jerott gets shot full of arrows and has to admit his feelings because he thinks he's gonna die' fic? This is the file! Some bullet points and some text, some of which I even posted as Sunday sixes way back when iirc.
Fait prosperer qui n'est à croire vain. Fuck me, there's LOADS of this. Pawn in Frankincense/Ringed Castle AU where Marthe steals Lymond's ride with Kiaya Khatun and persuades her they should take over Russia together. Meanwhile Francis is left with Jerott. Hahaha. It kept getting longer because Francis kept trying to escape and I kept finding ways to drag him back, but the 'and now kiss!!' with the two of them behaving in character was just not coming easily.
Francis Crawford's Holistic Inquisition Agency. I wrote this??? One chapter of a Lymond/Dirk Gently AU, where Francis is obviously Dirk and Jerott is a furious/bemused Todd.
She tried every instrument, she redrew every chart. A few short chapters, never finished, of Marthe wrestling with her role in canon and her fate as assigned by La Dame. A couple more paragraphs of a similar sort of thing in Volos.
Malta. Half-arsed few paragraphs of wondering how Jerott would cope with meeting a fellow Knight being imprisoned for sodomy.
Band AU (my 1980s rock band AU for the series, see also @theartistknownaslymond)
Au of an Au. What if, after the Battle of the Bands at Solway, Jerott went to stay at the Edinburgh townhouse for a while and he and Francis got to collaborating in the shed? There's quite a lot of this and it's quite fluffy.
Out out out! The band celebrate Thatcher's downfall. Happy epilogues for everyone! However it's an epic task trying to do all the characters justice, so I was trying to write it as vignettes to match each song on the playlist. Six-ish are written. And earlier draft with plan for characters intercting is in Ding dong the witch is dead.
Jerott/Marthe - four times it just about worked, one time it really didn't. What it says on the tin? aka you just know Jerott has said 'Francis' instead of Marthe at least once when he comes. Only the beginning of the first time exists in this chapter, but I think I explored the idea elsewhere, whenever I dig up that file...
DWTH missing scene. Jerott/OC missing scene from Don't wake the house. Not finished, probably not going to be finished. I think I have enough Jerott smut on the go.
Workshop. Patchy draft of pre-canon Jerott and GRM 'therapy' session in which GRM learns about Francis Crawford and what a hold he has on the boy he thought of as his own plaything. GRM doesn't like sharing.
F/P. Draft of a fluffy kiss prompt someone (@erinaceina? @notfromcold?) sent for Francis/Philippa. Post-canon pregnant Philippa and worried Francis written when it was too hot in summer. It's probably complete enough to post tbh! hmu if you want it posting.
Jerott behaving badly (again). Somehow this ended up in the 'comfortember' section of the notepad, which...no? Maybe it was intended to be originally, but it grew a life of its own. Post-canon, post split-up with the OC, pre-getting together with Danny. Joining the mile high club and regretting it, then ending up crashing at Joleta's (who he meets coincidentally at the airport, NOT who he's screwing in the airplane loo!!). It's meant to end up cathartic, but didn't get finished :') I'm actually really pleased with what I have - post-canon Joleta is so much fun to write!
Somewhere (Google Drive?? an actual Word doc??) there is also loads and loads and LOADS of Pawn in Frankincense band AU around Baron Morgan's place (the Aga Morat), featuring fucked-up Francis/Morgan, fucked up Marthe/Kiaya, fucked up Francis/Kiaya, and bewildered cold turkey Jerott. There's also some Jerott/Marthe from later on.
Other
Crossover. A sequel to my ATWD fic I will shake mountains, where Merab and Irakli encounter celebrity diners in the restaurant they work in: respected musician Francis Crawford and friends take the boys for a drink and share queer/artistic inspiration/history with them. There's quite a lot written but I couldn't quite manage to finish it off.
St Mary's. Another ATWD/Lymond crossover, placing Merab and Irakli among the mercenaries of St Mary's. Mostly bullet points.
3m. Furious that there was no fic for the film Three Months I decided to jot down a scene I wanted to see afterwards. I wrote four lines and cannot remember what my plan was at all.
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