#because its so fundamentally wrong
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talking to my brother about quicksilver and i was like 'ik him and wanda are twins but he exudes little brother energy so much' and my bro Without Hesitation just went 'well thats what happens when you're the least favorite in the family' and he says this to me, the youngest in our family like 🧍♂️
#snap chats#i screamed honestly ajeLRKERAJ LIKE OH !! VIOLENCE youve decided violence tonight brother#AND HE'S NOT EVEN WRONG. my mom dont like me i know she dont she act like she do but fundamentally she thinks im gross#youngest of four thats me .... the beef between my mom and i is definitely more one sided but thats because i refuse to forgive but anyway#'snap is this just an excuse to vent about your mom' NO i just think its very funny ok let me laugh .....#pietro ive formed a kinship with you i fear. i too have the same exact face as the mfer i got beef with jvaeRLKVJAER#PLEASE i will make a comic about that at some point. i can finally project onto someone about this cause its the worst shit in the world#people tryna be nice or cute like 'aw you look exactly like X :)' like oh so you want me to die????? you hate me ???? you want me dead.#and you just gotta smile while thinkin Wow Wanna Say It Again I Dont Think I Was Psychically Damaged Enough The First Time#anyways i just thought that was the funniest thing cause my bro really didnt even think before sayin that... is that how he really feels ..#or did he just. forget i am the youngest ...w/e im ending it here before i start gettin petty ....#point is he Again accidentally said something incredibly funny and i was taken aback jvAWLKFJWRLKJA
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in light of recent discourse
#doctor who#you cannot perfectly map real life politics onto doctor who#yes the optics of this episode are flawed#yes unit has serious issues#but like#this isnt real life#and because it isnt real life we know that unit are the 'good guys' more or less#within the world of doctor who think tank ARE wrong and ARE putting people in danger and DO need shutting down#and seeing unit#the FICTIONAL ORGANISATION which has no proper real world comparison because aliens arent real#as the bad guys here is massively overly simplistic#i do think the messaging is messy#and tbh this episode should have been different if rtd and mctighe wanted to criticise disinfo campaigns like this#but i will defend unit because they have characters i like and they protect the earth and most importantly theyre NOT REAL#and cannot be a complete parallel to any real world org because aliens are also NOT REAL (or at least not on earth)#i think it relates to a fundamental problem in the fandom#where people see the doctor and kate and the brigadier as Bad because they can be morally grey#like no actually people who mean well dont suddenly become bad and awful and unlikeable when they arent perfect#its nuance its always nuance the lack of nuance is killing fandoms and leftism in general#and its killing me that its happening!#we cannot win if we refuse to see beyond a simple binary good and evil#im digressing but god the discourse on this is hitting all the right notes to drive me mad#ive blocked so many people and im not sorry#yeah anyway tldr i will block you for defending space info wars. grow a brain
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Hi so I'm binging all of Canary Continuity-
yes it's 00:30 but fuck it we ball
Anyhoo! Slightly dark note but Donnie is... relatable, with the apologizing. I always feel like I need to apologize for every little thing, especially since I complain about little (yet understandable, tbh) things a lot. And the way you wrote him, with the fact that he has a spreadsheet for keeping track of any social blunders, just sort of clicks, in a way. Like, I can understand the way he's feeling (obviously not... later on, but y'know. With the need to apologize for everything because of the crime of existing and taking up space)
Ok I think I've rambled enough about the unfortunate connectability so onto the real point of this ask! LAJFKLSDJFLKDSJFKLDSAJLAKJFDKSFJKLCJKDS IT'S SO DAMN GOOD
YOUR WRITING? HOLY SHIT! CHEF'S KISS. SWEET UBE WAFFLES THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE FIC (SERIES).
-🌌
fellow "i need to apologize for Everything even when it's barely obtrusive or a problem like at all" neurodivergents rise up,, it was a huge issue of mine when i was way younger LOL
anyways thank you very much <3333 mwah mwah mwah
#ask#canary continuity#you might wanna check out coming undone because the whole theme is about like#the pain of feeling like you need to ''earn'' your existence. to make up for it somehow#every act of service being just another quiet apology for being alive#tends to be how i end up writing donnie in general i think#but early in cc i think it comes from a more painful young desperation just to be liked#he feels emotionally disconnected and doesnt understand what he's doing wrong. so he IS apologizing without understanding#it takes him a while to come to terms with the idea that its not about what he does. its about who he is#and its not an unfounded conclusion to come to because when it comes to caged lungs unfortunately that is the truth#donnie is very convinced he can make up for what he is with what he does#because he is so convinced something is fundamentally wrong with him#his intentions are a little more selfish early in caged lungs (compared to cu at least) but i actually think that makes it more tragic tbh#he's just a kid ........
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In those ungodly hours of the night/ soon to be morning, I listen to the Dead Apple opening movie and reminisce about a time 7 years ago when I was made aware of the existence of this anime, and told myself, "Oh, another edgy hot mafia men power fantasy. Looks pretty and I'm proooobably going to love it but I'm not really feeling it now."
Well, little did I know 7 years later, on random chance, it would suddenly become a staple of my life. It would reignite my passion for literature, inspire me to make art of my own, even gather the courage write - all of which I deemed impossible feats not so long ago. And not to mention it would connect me with so many wonderful people who share my same passion that, for the first time, I would feel a part of something truly meaningful.
Yea, I kinda love it here.
#idk why but out of all the openings dead apple is giving me the most severe nostalgia#pulls at my heartstrings in every way possible#i haven't even checked what the lyrics mean it's just#god it's so EMOTIONAL#chuuya va's godly singing not helping my existential crisis#bsd#bsd dead apple#my life had been wholly consumed by this series and i do not have an ounce of regret#i can spill poetry on why bsd changed my life all night if you ask me#i dare say it even changed me as a person for the better#and that's me not even daring to mention sskk's effect of my psyche because i would be here not for mere hours but days#i care so so deeply for this series that at this point it feels like a fundamental part of my being#this is me being very cheesy when i should either be sleeping or working excuse me#also i was so wrong on its premise#it goes so deep it's insane and I'm insane#some of the best char development stories I've ever had the grace to watch and read#so so important to me#the characters for me are everything
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hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
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idk i feel like some of you went into veilguard expecting it to be bad and to not like it, so therefore everything the game does is already painted by your preconceived negativity. so things that are neutral or just ok are automatically bad for you, and things that are good are dismissed or overshadowed because it doesn't line up with your negative framing. and it's entirely unfair. the game isn't perfect but it really isn't as bad as some of yall are making it out to be.
#(NO SPOILERS I HAVE NOT FINISHED THE GAME I AM IN ACT 2)#not to mention so many of the criticisms seem to contradict each other#yall complain there are no mean companions and in the next breath complain that taash was rude and you don't like them#also just because you don't personally relate to taash's gender exploration doesn't mean it's bad rep. that is a you problem.#yall complain there is no companion conflict but when there is you suddenly move the goalposts and say its not good enough#yall complain about retconned lore despite the fact this has all been planned since origins.#unreliable narrators writing history from their pov being proven wrong isn't a retcon yall. it's been building since the beginning#people complaining about lucanis' romance seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of who he is as a person. and are mad about it.#dragon age#dragon age veilguard
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Honestly love when video games use it/its for the player character
#video games#gaming#was playing the old world blues new vegas add-on and being called an it in the game goes hard ngl!!!#or in the end poem where we are an it? also goes extremely hard#it's the refusal for non-humans to partake in human gender for me that adds something interesting#because to the think tank they don't fucking care about the courier's gender they only care about the function of its body#they fundamentally don't respect human autonomy. they fucking kidnapped you and STOLE YOUR BODY PARTS AND SEWED YOU UP#so it make character sense for them to diminutively call you an it#and to the other humans who at least care about adherence to human societal constructs i revert to a him again#it's like how in skyrim serana was an it to isran and THEN she became a she to him#he fundamentally did NOT see personhood in vampires until serana proved him wrong#was isran a dick? yes. he's a fucking lunatic about vampires (derogatory). but that's his character#and it makes narrative sense for him to have called her an it
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truly nothing on this earth is more foul than supernatural familial abuse discourse but specifically the discourse people have about if sam or dean "had it worse" like ok cool you have already missed the point of this show very hard.
#the things ive seen in those trenches.....#its like actually their circumstances were based on their positionality in the family and the expectations each had#but on another level the discourse never truly explores what sams life was like as a child. hes either a spoiled brat or a martyr#in ways that make him one dimensional in ways fanon child dean just. isnt.#sam isnt just isolated. hes also controlled and surveilled. any wrong move (unbeknownst to him) proves to john hes irredeemable#like the center of john telling dean he might have to kill sam. is always dean like i feel crazy with how little consideration there is#toward the mental headspace of a guy whose whole childhood is suddenly warped by the realization his father suspected he was evil#and might need to be put down like a dog. and then. sam accepts this!!!! he truly believes is he Crosses A Line dictated by deans judgement#then oops oh well! because fundamentally sam has been conditioned to believe in his own inability to make decisions about himself#so the 'dean protects sam! dean keeps sam innocent and gave him a childhood' becomes much more insidious when u realize#that is one side of the coin wherein sam is under the complete authority of another person#and obv dean is not evil for that. its learned behavior!!#but instead of teasing out this reality when we learn what john told dean... it becomes aww poor dean :(( instead of a horrific glimpse int#the hierarchy of information and control fundamental to their relationship. guys its a cult.#my posts#spn
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Is there something to be said about Teyanas treatment during this galavant?👁

#the answer is yes#I've seen some things i absolutely do not like#what happened to calling people losers and going about your day#there are undertones here that i find really interesting as someone who finds the whole thing funny#because is it her behaviour that puts people off?#which...valid because she does have an allegiance to losers and criminals#but what makes her so fundamentally different from someone like a jayme or a thuso?#from the obvious perspective its that the latter two mind their own business and work on their craft#and to my knowledge haven't been outed for tomfoolery (idk I'm not checking for them like that)#but also it seems like there's a criteria for the perfect black woman that teyana doesn't meet in terms of vibe and behaviour#in some people's heads#the masculine thing rubbed me the wrong way entirely truth be told because what#there's a real dislike for seeing aaron with someone who isn't traditionally 'soft' or docile and i find it interesting#I'm aware she has major character flaws that i personally think are vile#but the vitriol that ive been seeing is insane#anywho good morning#aaron pierre#teyana taylor
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They call me emotionally unstable on account of the fact that I am emotionally unstable
#.txt#Happiness spiraling to paranoia and anxiety to guilt to anger to both guilt and anger and frustrated about feeling any of it#All I do is fuck up over and over and over again and idk. Im trying so hard and its like im spinning my wheels because im not#a good person at all. iwant to be but i keep choosing the wrong fucking answer i guess because theres something fundamentally wrong with me#idk why this is happening right now ive been taking my meds but this keeps happening.#im so fucking lucky in so many ways i dont deserve to feel bad i should be fine why am i not fine. i have problems sure but theyre literally#nothing im lucky and privileged and i should just be. better. i cant stand myself i dont want to be me
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"A leash can be pulled from either end" is a fun line because it is soooooo emblematic of Vivienne as both a person and political animal. Like yeah. Sure, Vivienne, a leash can be pulled from either end; hence, the Circles dissolving and trying to wrench it out of the Templars' hands and Mage Rebellion trying to chew it off entirely. But crucially—critically, Vivienne—at the most fundamental level, you are still the bitch wearing the collar.
#i love vivienne she's so insane and incoherent in terms of both morality and policy#real anakin skywalker-ass woman: authoritarianism and dictatorship are fine when i'm Head Bitch actually#'Might Makes Right so i need to have the Most Might to make me the Most Right and therefore untouchable by the system and its enforcers'#like what an insane stance to have. bold. unapologetic. utterly and fundamentally incurious and unwilling to change#because to change is to admit that one used to be imperfect and (perceived) perfection is the only thing keeping me on top#of this pile of bones and viscera that used to be people. people like me. but they couldn't be perfect like me so there they are#and there i'm not. changing means admitting i'm wrong. admitting i'm wrong means looking down and wondering whose bones i stand on this time#by apples
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[ Ranting ]
Tired of people saying Indigo Park is a cashgrab, mf it's free!
The only reason why there's merch was because fans wanted it, people were buying bootlegs so the only thing they could think of was to put out official merch and that money is going into the game, I have never made a game before but I assume it's not easy and it costs too, paying the voice actors and people who helped work on it
It's also a passion project
#I know I keep on saying this but it's irritating seeing people overlook it as ' cashgrab ' ' ripoff ' ' feeding the kids '#I saw a post in the indigo park tag that said they hoped it dies and burns in hell#in response to ' mascot horror ' because ' ALL amascot horrors are bad '#it does feel so wrong to assume Indigo Park is another ' mascot horror kids bait game '#it feels like they didn't even see the game and they just made that assumption because ' Mascot horror = bad '#but ignoring the passion behind indigo park and saying this in a hateful way just feels wrong#you could have said you didn't like it and that's fine#But it's like you're just being a dick#Whatever happened to ' hey I don't like this game but it's fine if everyone else likes it '??#Or at least think about why people like it and try to see it from their perspective#when something I'm not into is mentioned to me#My usual response is ' It's not really for me but if you want to talk about it that's fine '#And figure out why they like it#An angel loses its wings whenever someone is just blatantly hateful about something without seeing it for what it is#It's giving ' if you like horror movies there's something fundamentally wrong with you '#That one stupid ass tiktok video
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28 days later is one of the few modern classic horror movies i haven't seen and don't plan to. it's just the kind of zombie movie that very much is not my thing. i guess i'm just one of those boring traditionalists who prefers "slow zombies" to "fast zombies". although i did really love train to busan. it's just that the kinds of movies they make with "fast zombies" tend to be inherently less interesting to me
i do think it's funny that of the two films credited with basically redefining the zombie as a concept for their era (night of the living dead and 28 days later), the creators have both been pretty adamant that the creatures in their films are not zombies.
#horror movies#my thoughts#zombies#(i mean they're not wrong it's just that the meaning of the word has fundamentally shifted in the popular consciousness)#romero was less insistent on it than boyle was though. i think#but what else Are we going to call the “rage virus” types? they haven't come up with a snappy name yet so you get those#“zombie movies that refuse to call them zombies” attempts at coming up with one#anyway i've only been thinking about this because there's a new 28 days later movie coming out soon#just filled a hold request for 28 weeks later at the library. we have that one but not its predecessor#we do have a movie called 28 days that i gather is not related to the series#so it's kind of funny to see them next to each other on the shelf. someone could have a confusing weekend if they checked both of those out
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Their friendship is actually so special to me,.,,, fucked up bug and her Little Guy friend who may or may not be a fucking parasite. They make me go insane
#not rw#ava ocs#ava oc#avm oc#avm ocs#Sketch Tag#Circe Tag#ok theres the sorting tags out. its Sketch and Circe 2 of my stick ocs!!!!!#they're so cool. im working on a whole fucking essay of a post for Circe since she won the poll#sketch was actually the weird little fucking Anomaly who kisses demigods. he's best friends with this cynical bug#they would Kill for eachother. sketch actualy ends up doing so for circe's sake. so.#their friendship is so special to me bc. sketch is confused by the fact everyone finds his lack of fur and general build unnerving#and thus thinks something is wrong with him on a Fundamental level.#meanwhile circe has issues because her own creator/mother said she'd be worthless if she ever left her home.#and then when they barely manage to escape fucking -death-#full on getting half of their entire being corrupted and split into a Separate Entity.#they still cant get over the ingrained idea that shes utterly worthless because shes left the pc. so circe is Destructive and Violent.#with her two siblings (dark and chosen lmao. dark found circe in a dumpster and was like “hey can we keep this thing it looks funny”).#ALSO circe has Chronic Pain Shit goin on. hacks up black gunk every morning and cant fly for long periods of time bc#the exertion makes her joint aches unbearable.#they're best friends. mlm and wlw solidarity but they're both bisexual
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i'm never knowingly going to reblog a post that includes the phrase 'touch grass,' and that's not because i don't think it can be psychologically beneficial to get in some outdoor time if possible—i went for a walk earlier! it was great!—or to take a break from conversations that are getting you wound up, but because i think that particular wording generally reveals two things:
first, that the writer is speaking not from a place of genuine concern and sympathy, but from judgmental impatience à la 'get therapy,' which—i too have felt judgmental and impatient in my time, god knows! but when i feel that way i try to go unpack those feelings in private with a thoughtful friend, instead of pretending they constitute a source of wisdom or a helpful sort of energy to direct at people, you know? and i'm definitely not particularly interested in boosting a ventpost from someone else—who pretty clearly hasn't bothered to take the breather they're urging on others, if they're making little digs like that—as if it were actually sincere, carefully-reasoned advice.
and second, that the writer's argument embraces some seriously sloppy assumptions, which pretty immediately undermines my trust in the rest of their analysis—i mean, there's absolutely no guarantee someone's local scene will be any less parochial, just because it's playing out irl! there's also not actually a clean divide between 'people who spend time in the Real World' and 'people who spend time on the internet, which is for porn losers,' as demonstrated by a number of phenomena including, again, the aforementioned grass-recommenders' own presence right here on tumblr…
anyway. obviously we all have our own particular lines we draw around particular rhetoric that bugs us! these are just some reasons why that particular phrasing bugs me.
#language#metatumbling#like. if what you mean is 'your stance would be totally incongruous outside the microcommunity you're speaking to'?#say that!#but also—it's fine to speak to the state of affairs in a microcommunity‚ actually#you just need to define your parameters#but like. so do people who are speaking to Broader Culture bc like. *which* broader culture.#even if you mean American Cishet Culture there are. so many kinds. new york ≠ nebraska.#but anyway it's just like. stop fucking making (and reblogging) these implicit ad hominem arguments#about how people who disagree with you must be idiots and losers because they don't get out enough#if they really are wrong you ought to be able to argue against them without resorting to digs any real leftist ought to be ashamed of#and if spending all one's time in the physically-embodied socially-embedded world really stopped people from being wrong…#well. pretty sure a lot fewer people would be wrong about things‚ if that were true.#anyway i left this to rot in drafts last week for prolixity reasons#and like. it remains guilty of those crimes but they don't render its fundamental assertion untrue.#anyway fundamentally this is the sort of thing you immediately sound like a 'terminally online' loser for protesting and i realize that#but like. if we refuse to open conversational doors because we're scared of the shame bucket someone juvenile balanced on top of them…#fuck that. i decline to live in fear of implicit rhetorical bully tactics.
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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