#because it's such an awesome artistic take and I got really excited since I thought the idea was just a me thing

[melit0n]

What does Sleep, as in the deity, look like to you guys? Because as someone who's been around in the Sleep Token fandom for a while, I've seen a lot of different interpretations.

To me, Sleep doesn't really have a set, physical body outside of a person's (perhaps Vessel's) dreamscape. Afterall, why should something that dictates all the odd, horrifying, joyful and (sometimes) meaningful things that happen in your dreams be one thing? Sleep could be the shadow in the corner of your dark room you swear is moving, the tapping of rain as you're about to fall asleep, the creaking of the pipes inside your house/apartment as you slowly dose off at your desk, etc. Outside of a dreamscape; Sleep is only what you need it to be. Hence Its need for Vessel as Its mouthpiece.

However, in the dreamscape, I can see Sleep as a fish. Not a particularly alive looking one, per say, but the scattered remains of one. All bones, empty eye sockets (but are they truly empty?), rotting flesh and scales peeling off bit by bit etc. Specifically, a kind of deep-sea fish; like an angler fish, a sixgill shark or a Greenland shark. But! Along with its bones, Sleep has bioluminescent innards. Viceral that ebbs and flows in multi-colour fashion with each flick of Its tail.

The deep sea fish imagery mainly comes from the fact that the deep sea is almost completely unknown; many of the creatures down there are completely alien to us, like Sleep has supposedly become over the hundreds of thousands of years that It's existed. The deep sea, for the most part, is completely silent. Calm; the perfect place for a nap (if you can breath underwater of course).

It's the perfect habitat for the Unknown, odd and horrifying.

[fashionteahouse]

out of your league - paul x reader

AN: thank you all for love and support of the last nineteen parts of this story ! you all are awesome 💜

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As you continued to see the art that was Larry Gagosian’s pick to be displayed in his gallery, he began to promise you your own artistic spot in his gallery.

“I have to fly to LA soon. I would really like it if you could accompany me.” he says to you.

“Wow. Me?” you breathed out.

“You think you can have something done?”

“I know I will have something done.” you say and this caused him to laugh at your confidence as he liked how sure you were of yourself.

You sit in front of him at the restaurant table, he had explained earlier how if you were represented by him, what all he can offer you.

Edward reassured you on the way there, Larry’s intentions were genuine. The wine and dining was strictly for business. Larry’s assistant planted the white important paper on the table.

More opportunities, more work, more sales, more money. More, more, more. It felt like you hit the jackpot.

As you walked out of the somewhat business lunch, you were still in a daze. Edward watched in amusement as you kept saying, “This can’t be real.”

Edward held the paper contract that Larry’s assistant had brought. It contained the proof of his promises and your signature would solidify everything.

You slowed your walk and start to frown.

“What’s the matter?” Edward asks.

“Does that mean…I have to live here?” you ask.

Edward skims over it.

“Maybe. He wants to shop you around for an entire year.”

Damn.

“I gotta go.” you say.

“Is everything alright?” he asks as he watched your expression. It went from excitement to a touch of grief.

“I have to call Paul. I have to- I gotta talk to him.” you say.

“You shouldn’t panic. Everything will be alright.” he says reassuringly.

“It’s really annoying when you tell me what I shouldn’t do.” you say.

Edward doesn’t take offense to this as he grins a little.

“You just got an exciting opportunity. Just enjoy it.” he says, “How do you feel?” he then softly asks.

“On top of the world.” you whisper as you look down. You don’t hear anything but you look up to see Edward looking at you with captivation.

You felt unbelievably nervous. You look away after feeling a bit intimated.

“Where’s Alice?” you ask softly to change the atmosphere and subject.

“She’s at home.” he answers in the same volume.

You look to him again. He’s still staring.

“Home?” you ask in confusion.

“We have a penthouse.”

“Oh.” you say while nodding.

“Would you like to see her?” he asks.

“I just asked because I haven’t seen her since the symphony. That’s all.”

“What did you think of it?” he asks.

“It was..Alright.”

He chuckles and this makes you take another look at him.

“What?” you ask slightly annoyed.

“It’s funny when you lie.” he says.

“You think I’m lying?”

“You are lying. It was more than ‘alright’. You tend to say that a lot to mask what you’re really feeling.”

“Since you know it all, what am I really feeling?” you ask.

You continue the stroll, not wanting to feel stagnant. He follows you with ease.

“As a whole, you think this entire situation plays on the side of vice.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…If you didn’t hold back, you would’ve signed the deal right then and there. Something else is distracting you.”

“See? There you go. Would you stop it? Paul is not a distraction.”

He furrows his eyebrows, “I didn’t say Paul. I meant it as you’re overthinking.”

You flopped down on the bench of Central Park. You put your face in your hands.

“This is really hard.” you say.

You feel a rub on your back and you sit up straight and look to him.

“Edward.” you warn.

His hand falls as he sits back. You look ahead.

“What are you going to do?”

“I can’t accept it.” you say.

“Y/N, don’t be foolish.” he says.

“I can’t leave what I know behind.”

He shakes his head, almost as if he’s a teacher who’s staring at a student with wasted potential.

“I thought this is what you were trying to build up to?” he asks.

“It is but…” you say and watch the carefree people go about their day. You wonder what sacrifices they had to make in their lifetime. You wonder if it was lesser or greater than yours.

“Why do you even care anyway?” you ask, feeling moody. You wanted someone to blame.

“You have a gift. I know what it’s like to have one. To just throw it away would be throwing away your life.” he calmly answers.

You stand up and start to walk.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Back to my room.” you say and you continue walking.

You called Paul on your cellphone. You didn’t trust him to see your face. Each ring dropped your stomach.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hey.” you say.

“Hey yourself.” he says.

“It’s nice to hear your voice.” you say.

“Likewise.”

You both stay on the phone as you don’t say anything after that.

“Y/N. What’s wrong?”

You laugh lightly, “Why do you think something’s wrong.”

“Because something’s wrong. Tell me.” he says.

You sigh softly as you think of how to bring your words together.

“I met someone. Someone who…Who will soar my career.”

“Who?”

“Larry.”

“Mm.” he says at the name. You gushed about him to Paul the night you met him. With his tone, you could see his face now.

Paul gripped the phone in his hand. He knew this conversation wasn’t going to be smooth.

“So, what happened? What do you have to tell me?” he asks lowly that scared you a bit.

“He…wants to represent me. He’s..going to shop me and my paintings around and well…I might have… to live here for a year since his big clients are here. He wants me to accompany him to LA right after I leave New York.” you say and take a breath as you close your eyes and look down. It was out there and you couldn’t take back your words.

There’s silence on the line.

“Paul.” you say in the phone.

“Yeah.” he says deeply.

“Can you say..Something?” you plead.

“When are you coming home?” he asks.

“I..” you say and stop. You didn’t have an answer because you felt like everything was up for grabs.

“Y/N.” he calls.

“Yes?” you answer small.

“When are you are coming home?” he asks with more clarity.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You were supposed to come home in two days.”

“I know. I know.” you say.

“Well?”

“All of this stuff happened.” you say as your heart did jumping jacks in your chest.

“Is there someone else?” he asks bluntly.

“I don’t get what you mean.” you say.

“You do. Someone keeping you company? You just told me you missed me.” he replies and you can hear the agitation in his voice.

“No. There’s no one here with me. I do miss you. I miss you so much. What? You think I’m cheating on you or something? Is that’s why you think I want to stay here?”

“I didn’t say that.” he says.

“Well that’s what it seems like.” you say.

“If that’s what it seems, then is it true?” he says and you can hear his gritted teeth.

“Paul. I don’t want to argue.”

“We’re not arguing. Y/N, come home.” he says.

“I will.” you say.

“Y/N.”

“I said I will.” you say.

You hang up from him and you pack. Frustrated tears form in your eyes as you fold your bunched clothes and a knock rings out.

You wipe your tears that sneaked out and open the door, too upset to see who it is.

“I don’t want to see you right now.” you say to Edward.

“You left without taking this.” he says holding up the white paper that held your destiny.

“I don’t need it.” you snap at him. His somewhat hurt expression make you sigh, “I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” he steps forward and peers down at you.

“I will be okay.” you say.

His eyes flicker over to the suitcase that was laid on your bed behind you.

“You’re leaving?”

“Getting ready to.” you say.

“Why?”

“Because I am. Okay?” you say without any patience.

“Let me guess…You called him.”

“Edward just go.” you say in broken words as your face started to crumble.

“Why do you push me away? I just want to help.”

“You’re making things worse!” you say as your hands cover your face and you turn away. Edward pushed the door from automatically shutting, he steps in closer.

He watched as your shoulders shiver and he sets the paper down on the nearby desk, he does something that surprised you. You felt something firm with coldness, surround you.

“Don’t be upset Y/N.” he says soothingly. The velvety voice rings out and he slowly rubs your back.

You sniff and step back. He slowly raised his hand and you watch his hand closely. He placed it on your cheek and let his thumb glide and gently wipe the hot tear that escaped from your eye. The coolness of his hand cooled your hot face for a moment. You blinked at him and his face was filled with deep benevolence.

You turn away. You walk to your suitcase.

“Y/N, just don’t leave.” he says like a lullaby.

“I have to leave in two days anyway.”

“I was worried that you were leaving early.”

You shake your head as you look down at the open suitcase.

“Alice has asked to see you.”

“I’m too upset.” You say sadly as you sit down.

“She’s good at cheering people up.” he says as he grins softly as he sits next to you.

You don’t say anything as the floor was more interesting. Edward focused to see what he could read, or rather see, from your mind, your mind was like one big black scribble circle. He was used to the beautiful colors that bounced around.

“Will making something calm you down?” he asks softly after some time. He watched as you looked up at him with slightly puffed eyes.

“I guess. I usually make how I’m feeling.” you whisper with a slight shrug.

“How do you feel? Besides upset.” He asks.

“Conflicted. Frustrated.” you admittedly say.

“Let’s get you a canvas.” he says as he rises up and before you could blink, your jacket is in his hand.

“It’s fine.” you say with defeat, “I will be okay.”

“I can’t trust that.” he says with humor to try to cheer you up.

You sigh softly as you look ahead at him in front of you.

He walks over to the nightstand and picks up your sketchbook.

You perk up with energy as you stand up and you walk to him.

“Can I take a look?” he asks.

“Why?” you ask.

“I just want to see your world.” he says.

You look at the book in his hands as he slowly opens the book.

He watched carefully as you worked your hand. You could see even though it was dark because of the city life shining brightly through the car window.

The graphite pencil was snug in your hand as you really sketched how you were really feeling in the pad that rested on your lap. You swiftly sketched different faces with different emotions that merged with one another. Edward was glad that he was in the backseat with you instead of driving. He always wanted to watch you create something.

He watched how your face softened as you continued to work. The soft sound of the pencil scraping against the paper was like music to his ears. The backed up traffic was something that he was for once grateful for.

He pressed the button on the elevator to the top floor as you clutched your book to you.

When he unlocked his door, Alice rushed you and you say, “Oof.” from the force.

She squeals your name as she hugged you tight but not too tightly.

“Alice, let her breathe.” Edward says to his sister.

“Come in!” she says excitedly as she still holds onto your arm and brings you into the luxurious penthouse.

It hit you like a truck. You felt calm. As if you weren’t upset just earlier. Your shoulders even relax.

“Jazz, look who’s here.” she says with excitement as she takes your hand.

Jasper gives you a friendly smile. Something on his face made you feel like he knew something. You still wave hello to him.

“Are the others here in the city with you?” you ask.

“Ithaca.” Jasper answers.

“It’s so nice there. We should go before you have to leave. We can surprise the others with a visit.” Alice says with enthusiasm.

“I’ll pass. Plus, I’m sure they don’t care to see me.” you say because you weren’t sure if it was a good idea, they collectively say, “What?”

“Y/N, that’s not true.” Edward says.

“They ask about you.” Alice says to you and sits you down on the superb sofa right with her.

You sit back and sink in the sofa.

Paul paced back and forth. He clenched and unclenched his fists. His wolf scratched inside of his body to be free.

“She’s going to be back.” Sam says as he watched him.

Paul doesn’t say anything.

“Oh my god.” Kim suddenly says.

Jared looks over, “What?”

“Look.” She says to him and shows a picture, of you posing with Larry in his gallery, that had been reposted on the net. Jared didn’t know who it was, but the comments recognizing the man, showed he was important. The blue check marked account displayed a caption.

“She’s the one to watch out for”

Paul didn’t want to look. He already knew. He would of loved for you to take the deal but, an entire year being away from you would kill him. He just couldn’t do it.

Paul let the door slap close behind him as he heaved and flung himself forward to burst through with his wolf.

After running for some time, he realized he was in Fork’s neck of the woods, a flash of red darted past. He calculated her speed with his eyesight as he tracked her movements. He instinctively chased her, her small figure flinging gracefully through the woody trees. There were moments when he was centimeters close to landing his razor sharp teeth on her. He snapped his jaw at her.

Paul growled as she kept dodging getting caught. He pushed forward, feeling frustrated that she was right at his paws but, she kept slipping away easily. He chased her off until he couldn’t see her anymore. He patrolled the surrounding area to make sure there wasn’t any others lurking around.

Alice sits still as Jasper confirms to you of his lack of thirst with you being around.

“I’m new to the animal diet. You’re like a pain reliever.” he says to you with a smirk.

Edward doesn’t make it known as he’s sitting beside you, but he’s watching Alice’s vision blow by blow.

You look over to Edward having a deep look of concentration. You look to Jasper as he talks to you again to unknowingly distract you.

“I felt your sorrow when you walked in. Notice how you felt calm?”

“That was your doing?” you ask in surprise.

He confirms.

“So, you can make people feel emotions?” you ask.

“I sense and I can control them. I raised your endorphin levels a little.” he answers.

He watched your face as you are somewhat impressed at this information.

Edward watched with intensity as his sister’s eyes dart back and forth and even move her fingers subtly, as if she was grabbing something. Her mouth was slightly open as if she was in a trance. It scared Edward. Jasper sensed this.

Alice blinks rapidly as she looks down. Jasper is next to her in a flash as they clutch each other’s hand for support and he looks to her. Which makes you look. If Alice was human, she would’ve panted.

“Are you alright?” you ask.

“Y/N, you can’t go back home.” she rushed out almost too loudly.

Chuckling a bit, “I have to. You know this.”

“She’s right. You can’t.” Edward says carefully but firmly.

You look at him with a perplexed look.

“What did you see?” Jasper asks. Fully concentrating on her. Alice speaks but draws her eyes up to you. The vision was about you.

“Victoria. She’s in Washington. Bella picked you up from the airport and with you being around, you took away Victoria’s thirst for Bella. She decided to make you her new target. You don’t even make it to La Push.” she rambles on but whispers out the last part.

You stand up. The cloud of calmness is still hovering over you.

“She jumped out onto the road which caused Bella to swerve. She jumped right onto Bella’s truck and grabbed you out.” Alice continues on.

“Who’s Victoria?” you ask immediately.

“Do you remember in the library when I explained to you how Bella was attacked by James and how we killed him?” he asks you.

“Yes.” you say in a small voice and a nod.

“James is Victoria’s mate.” he answers.

“So, I’ll just call someone else from the pack to pick me up. I can’t stay here. I have to get home. I have to.” you say.

Alice shakes her head too fast, “You called them, they won’t answer. You call someone else, a friend I’m guessing from La Push. You find out that she was told to not go anywhere because of being told of the news of a loose vampire. She lets you know that Paul and the others are away tracking the vampire down. It has to be Victoria. You then decide to call Bella to pick you up. She will attack you. We can’t let that happen. I try to track her but she goes into La Push land and I can’t see her. Something’s blocking me from seeing her next move.” she says trying her best to find a reason why.

You slowly sit down, unable to feel what you want to feel. Jasper’s ability won’t let you freak out. But, you’re desperate for answers.

“I saw her bite you and change you for her gain. Eventually, even turning you against us. ” she says and you gasp.

“This isn’t good.” you whisper as you sit back and look up at the high architectural ceiling, hoping something would fall down and would give you a miracle of this not being reality.

“She won’t touch you. I won’t let it happen.” Edward says soothingly to you.

“Yes but, what about Paul? What about my life at home?” you ask him seriously, not breaking eye contact to let him know how serious this was.

“He can survive you not coming home right away. However, I’m sure he won’t be happy with you being dead or turned.” he says to you trying to get you to understand.

“So…What do I do?” you ask, looking at them all.

“Well..You can stay here..With us. Twenty-four hour surveillance.” Alice says, somewhat hopeful about the idea.

“What if she comes here?” you ask.

“She won’t. That’s why it’s important for you to decide to stay. She can’t know you exist.” Edward says.

“So, what do I tell Paul?”

“You have to tell him you accepted the deal even if you don’t. It will only make sense for why you have to stay here. It will hurt but, you have to stay away until she’s at least taken care of.” Alice says.

You sit back down on the couch with defeat. You stare at the coffee table that screamed exclusiveness. You look up after moments of silence.

You glanced at Alice and seen that Alice gave Edward a quick look. Edward silently looks back at her. You notice this.

“Is there something else?” you perk up to ask her.

“That was it.” Edward says switching to pierce his gaze at you and you watch closely as he swallows a bit. You can tell he’s lying. You narrow your eyes a bit at him.

You weren’t worried about the pack, knowing how quickly they killed the last vampire they came after you. You had faith that they would kill Victoria as well.

“Great. There goes my goodnight’s sleep.” you say lowly.

“It will be okay.” Alice says in her best voice to soothe someone.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt. What’s the outcome if I do stay?” you ask.

“I don’t see her after some time. I assume she’s dead. I don’t see anyone close to you being hurt.” she says with certainty. She narrows her eyes a bit before shaking her head, “Not even Bella. I can still see some of her future.”

“Well, I hope that really means that she’s dead. But, who’s to say how long it will take.” you say and you cross your arms, “Why is she going into La Push land anyway?”

“My guess is she stumbles upon it because I don’t see her making a plan to go there.” Alice answers.

“If I stay, I can still come home, right?” you ask.

She nods with confidence, “It’s just temporary.”

Alice then hops up and grab your hands and you’re up with her before you knew it.

“Enough with the sad stuff. Come look at my designs Y/N!” Alice says.

The room you enter had a strong but glamorous desk with papers on it. You saw the colors of the sketches as you walked closer.

“You drew these?” you ask her in astonishment as you held up one paper. The design was so ahead of its time.

“Of course!”

“Amazing!” you say as you look at the other unique designs that were illustrated. You then look to see a mannequin with a finished outfit snug to it.

“So, you design the clothes and then you make them?” you ask as you look at the mannequin’s unbelievably stylish outfit.

“Yup!” she says, proud of her work, “What do you think of this one?”

“I could see this on a runway. It looks straight out of a magazine, it’s crazy.” you say with a small smile as you look at it.

“Thanks.” she says with her own gleaming smile, “I love using my powers for this. Glimpsing into the future to envision the next big design is much more happier than seeing oncoming danger.” she explains.

“I can see that. I think it’s cool that you guys have powers. It sucks that the negative can make you kind of forget the beauty in the power that you do have.” you say.

“Exactly. It’s much more tangible this way.” she says.

You watch as she then perks up, “Should we create something together?”

“Me? Design clothes?” you ask her and she nods excitedly.

“I can’t do that.” you say chuckling at the thought of yourself trying to create an outfit. You’d much rather leave the job to someone else instead of attempting such thing.

“You can. If you can draw everything else, you can.” she says as if you were ridiculous for not thinking so.

“I don’t know the first thing of sketching designs.” you say as you follow her to her desk. She brings out fresh sheets of paper and speedily puts the created designs away.

“We can start by making something that you would actually wear.” she says cheekily.

You lazily start to draw a person just like you saw how she did, except it wasn’t as perfect as hers. As you drew the upper part of the body, you look down to see Alice already drawing a comprehensive skirt.

You try your best to draw a good looking top, it seemed plain in your eyes. Alice didn’t mind.

“This is only the rough sketch.” she says.

“Rough?!” you say as you point to the design she already drew. She got a kick out of it as she laughs.

As you both were in the middle of drawing up stylized flat sketches, you hear Alice’s colored pencil be abandoned as she meets Jasper’s entrance. She wrapped her arms around him and they kissed.

The smooches were strong as they got lost into each other. You smoothly leave out of the room as they had no plans on letting up from each other. Your guess was right as you look back to see the door closed.

You sober up your chuckle as you enter the front of the home, finding Edward there, as if he was waiting for you to enter.

“Are you alright?” he asks to you.

“I can tough it out.” you say, trying your best to stay light.

He touches your arm as he walks past. You look as he walks to the piano that was now in this home. It was more grand than the last one.

Sitting on the bench, he scoots over so you can sit. He takes one hand and lets his fingers touch on certain keys, making an easy but complex sound with the flick of his wrist.

You watch him and his fingers as he takes one of your hands and lift it to the keys. You retract. He looks to you.

“I definitely don’t know how to play.” you say sheepishly.

He smiles a bit, “Just press these two keys like this.”

He picks you hand back up and place two fingers on different keys and press them down creating the desired rhythm. You continue to press down on the heavy keys without the help of his hand. The sound of the notes you played was heard in your own ears with Edward’s note that he’s already playing. He joins his second hand and soon, you’re playing the piano together.

The song he wanted to play was over. You press your finger on a different key to get a different sound, experimenting, he makes a note to go with that. You smile but look up at him. The look that he gave you was very intense that it almost scared you. It was enough to make your stomach flip and you immediately felt shame.

You put your eyes back to the keys that were in front of you and swallow with a sense of seriousness. Your musical movements slow to a stop.

“What are you thinking?” he asked you.

You take a moment to answer as he patiently waited.

“Is it bad..That I want to say screw it and do my own thing? Believing that it won’t come true if I just see for myself?” you throw out. He racks his own brain for the right answers as he says, “It’s frustrating, I know. The danger in this situation is just temporary.”

“I’m dreading the phone call.” you say with uneasy feelings. Edward nods in understanding as he looks at the keys.

“Don’t stress too much. You forget that I know what happens. Things will be okay.” he says as he looks back up to you.

You tear your eyes away from his and you hear a chuckle.

“You were suckered into making designs with Alice?” he asks.

You roll your eyes at his teasing, “It feels like a different ball game.” you tell him. Out of your peripheral vision, you catch his grin.

“I played the piano. How about you draw something.” you say as you rise up and walk to your sketchbook. Since, comfort zones were not occupied.

“Draw what?” he asks.

“Whatever.” you say with a shrug as you flip open the book to an empty page.

He sucks in an unnecessary breath as he slips the pencil out of your fingers. You follow him to the couch that had the coffee table in front of it. He leans a bit to place the book on the table. You watch his speedy hand create a stick figure. You give him a look that makes him laugh.

“Seriously?”

“You said whatever.” he says in rebuttal with a smirk. You don’t say anything as he was right. You lean back on the couch and look at the huge television showing a black screen.

“Want to watch something?” he asks as he sees what you’re looking at. You nod and he hands you the slim remote. You flick on the television and the first thing that comes on is the Animal Channel. This makes you crack a smile as a thought came into your head.

“What?” Edward asks as he fidgets with the pencil in his fingertips.

“Nothing just…Thought it was funny how this is like the vampire version of a fast food commercial.” you say as you watch the screen and a quiet chuckle is heard from him.

“You can watch it. I have my favorite.” he says. You watch the television as you ask, “Different animal blood taste different?”

“Yes.”

“What’s..What’s your favorite?” You ask carefully as the story follows the herd of zebras running from danger. Very few were unsuccessful as it’s captured in slow motion with somber music.

“Big cats. Mountain lions preferably.” he answers. You nod as you continue watching the screen.

Some time passes and he asks, “Why art?”

“It’s my first love.” you answer simply. You couldn’t imagine life without it.

“If you couldn’t do it anymore, what would you do?” he asks.

“I wouldn’t do anything. I wouldn’t exist.” you say. You look at him and then down and your stomach drops at the sight. You froze as he watched you. You reach your body close to him to pick up your book. You slam it closed and put it next to you. You close your eyes as you focused on breathing steady.

“What? Was it that bad?” Edward says with humor. You look at him with a thoughtful look and you pick your book back up and flip back to the page of what he drew.

He drew the whole time you were talking to him while you weren’t paying attention. You had no idea. He drew you watching television with a peaceful expression. There was a touch of innocence almost in the sketch. It was effortless as if he did this time and time again. His art style was a simple sketch but with more practice, it was easily photorealistic. He made you look…Beautiful.

“I thought you didn’t know how to draw.” you say quietly as your heart thumps loudly in your ears.

“I really didn’t. I haven’t put much of an effort for it before.” he says.

“Yeah right, it’s as if you lied to me.” you say.

“So, I have your approval?” he asks and you give him a look.

“It’s..Alright.” you say. Edward smiled to himself as he watched you still look at it. You take in a breath and let it close as you didn’t know how to feel.

“Do you want to keep it?” you quietly ask as it rests in your lap.

“I will keep it.” he answered back, subtly enthused.

You tear it out slowly and carefully holding it. As stimulating the artwork was, you couldn’t keep it. It felt too intimate.

You couldn’t sleep that night. You tried calling Paul, but no answer.

You text him.

“I hope you’re safe. I miss you.”

You stare at it a bit before turning your phone off. You turn over and listened to the quiet hum of the AC in the hotel room.

A pair of intense eyes in your head followed you into slumber. You dreamed of a male cool finger that traces your cheek, to the side of your neck, and you felt the cold air of his breath on your skin.

You woke up and immediately check your phone to see Paul sending you a text two hours before you woke up.

“I’m safe. I miss you too. You don’t know how much I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

You sigh and put your head down in the pillow.

You put your scarf on snug and walk outside, Edward holds the car door open.

“I can’t do it.” you say shaking your head, staring at the road ahead.

“Did you talk to him?” he asks.

“He texted me this morning. It will crush him.” you say quietly as you looked out of the window.

“Worse will crush him.” he says with one hand on the wheel, shaking his head a bit at the thought of the worse outcome.

You keep your hands in your lap. You thought super hard for solutions as Edward kept on driving. You kept your eyes out of the window.

You didn’t expect hugs to come when Carlisle answered the door. He looked to you and then to his son in great surprise, speaking next to a smiling Esme, “What a wonderful surprise.”

Alice and Jasper come in behind you two, Carlisle pleased to see them as well.

“Let me guess..This was Alice’s idea.” he asks in a knowing tone.

“Was it that obvious?” she asks.

“Yes. You managed to bring Y/N here.” he says chuckling.

“Emmett and Rosalie will be here in a moment. They’re out hunting.” Esme says on behalf of their absence.

Talks of how you’ve been have been brought up. Edward help boast about what you’ve done here so far once the opportunity came. Carlisle got a kick out of learning from Alice that you even sketched designs with her.

Just then, Emmett and Rosalie enter, their eyes surprised at the company.

Alice poses a little, “Surprise!”

Emmett was happy to see everyone, Rosalie was iffy. She still says a polite hello to you. Emmett even surprised you with a hug.

After hearing how the rest of the Cullen family was enjoying New York so far, you asked for the bathroom.

You didn’t have to use it. You needed to think. You sat on the toilet with the lid down as you rest your arms on your knees.

After you got yourself together, you come back into the room with everyone looking at you. Rosalie was clenching her jaw as if she was shut down about something.

“Is something on me?” you ask self cautiously as you look down at your clothes.

Chuckles comes out from different mouths as Esme reassures you with a smile and says, “No, dear.”

“We were just having a friendly discussion.” Rosalie says and you detect the sarcasm. You decide to play her game.

“Rosalie.” Edward says firmly.

“Oh. About what?” you ask her with a straight face. She takes a look at you as the room fell silent.

“I’m afraid, we don’t have time for pets.” Rosalie says and you narrow your eyes and before you could take a step forward, Edward is already in front of you in a flash.

He gave Rosalie one look and she backed off. You watched as she fixed her hardened face and watch as she took her eyes away from his, looking down and Emmett rubs her shoulder, “Babe just apologize.”

“Sorry.” Rosalie says almost too quietly but, luckily you were able to still hear it.

“Come on, this is a happy moment.” Emmett says to liven up the room.

Edward turns around and looks down at you.

Following you as you walked off to the side, he asked a tense, “Are you alright?”

Your back is leaned against the wall as your arms are crossed.

Smiling a bit to not let anyone see you sweat, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

This eases him as he brings his own small smile.

“Don’t worry about Rosalie. She’s like that with almost everyone.”

You shift a little, “It’s alright…And no, I’m not saying that just to cover something up.” you say as you take a look at his face. He brings on a look of amusement. You look at his shirt covered chest.

“Can I show you something?” he asks.

“Depends. Is it bad?” you ask as you look back up.

“No. Not at all.” he says as he steps out of the secluded home. You follow him out. Before you could blink, he takes your arm and puts his around him so you’re on his back. You’re hearing nothing but whizzing sounds. You don’t notice your eyes were squeezed shut until you hear in a steady voice, “Open your eyes, it’s okay.”

You slowly open your eyes to see nothing but red, orange and yellow surrounding you. The leaves moved fast past you and you clutched onto Edward as he maneuvered through the trees with inhumane speed. You let your body relax as you noticed that you’ve never seen a view like the one you’re seeing now. It felt like you were floating with him as he ran with speed as your eyes take in the sight.

His movements slow as he makes his way to the top of a waterfall. The water falling is heard in your ears as you slide off of his back. He takes your wrist gently, guiding you to a spot that’s desirable.

“What do you think?” he asks.

“I have….No words.” you say as you continue to look around.

You both look down at the waterfall, you tilt your head a little as you observe it. During your observance, Edward got a peak of what you were thinking. It wasn’t words of course, but colorful ideas. He was very much interested as he focused on that more than the nature sight in front of him.

“Wow. Beautiful.” you breathe as you look to comment to him about the sight.

“Indeed.” he quietly comments back to you.

You sigh out a bit and take some steps. You shrug a little as you watch the sight, “I guess, I gotta get to work on something. If I’m staying here, might as well make the most of it.”

“So, this means you’re taking up Larry’s offer?”

“Yeah,” you say, “I might as well.”

“You wanted to anyway.” he says as if he’s known you since forever.

“I wanted to go home.” you say. He gives you look that makes you then say, “What?”

“You wouldn’t have been that upset if you didn’t want to.” he says.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say calmly say.

“So, tell me. Why did your mood change? Why were you crying?”

“Edward, please.” you say with your eyes closed.

“Y/N, I’m just trying to understand why you won’t just be selfish for once. This is your dream, not anyone else’s.” he says.

“Yes. It is my dream. So, you can’t tell me what to do with it. If it weren’t for your kind, my boyfriend would still be a normal boy. He would be here with me right now!” you say with frustration.

“It was bound to happen if it was in his bloodline. Just like he can’t help who he is, some of us can’t either. Like me. I didn’t ask for Carlisle to bite me.” he says stepping forward. You look down as you remember his story.

“After all of this is over, will me and your family, including yourself, go our separate ways?” you ask as you look at the leaves that hung from the branches. A leaf that you’re watching slowly falls and you hear Edward say, “I don’t know. I hope not.”

“Why?” you question genuinely.

“It’s just how I feel.” he says.

You look to him.

“Edward, I just want to let you know, it will be Paul everytime.” you say.

“I just want to let you know, it should be you everytime.” he says.

You stuffed your hands in your pockets. He walks further up and you follow him to not get lost.

A large rock is near, he lifts you and sits you on it before you could process his movements. He leans his body beside very close to your legs. You both can still clearly see the waterfall.

“I do feel like…I am your pet.” you say.

“Y/N.” he says in a voice that makes you jump just a little, with you looking at him, he didn’t like the accusation at all.

“Look at it from the outside looking in.” you say.

“You’re not.” he says firmly holding your eyes in his for a moment before he takes his eyes away, “You’re more than that. I don’t want to hear you say that again.”

“How did Bella take the breakup?” you ask.

He shakes his head a little with a slight grimace, “It wasn’t a breakup.”

“Edward, do you really expect me to believe that? I saw how she would look at you.” you say.

“I dazzle people. I can even make you look at me like that if I wanted to but, I won’t.” he says.

“That’s kind of messed up to do that to her. She seemed to be in love with you.” you say.

“She’s stubborn. I told her to stay away. She was intrigued but, in her defense she couldn’t help it. Me leaving is the best thing to happen to her. Whenever you see her again, you will find that I’m telling the truth.” he says.

You don’t say anything as you dangle your legs as you look ahead.

“You can’t make me look at you like that. I’m tied to Paul for life.” you say in disagreement of his accusation.

Edward chuckles, “Don’t get too confident Y/N.”

You look at him and he displays a look that shows his own confidence in his abilities.

“I dazzle you.” you point out with disagreement and look away with a smirk.

“Do you?” he asks and he’s right in your eyesight. The amber eyes burn into your eyes as you nod with confidence. You peer at him with a smug look. His liquid gold eyes swam in your eyes as you were focused on not being swayed. You wanted to take a good look at him. His eyes really being the color of an amber gem was so strange but with the autumn background, it looked as if it was an avant-garde idea. The slow shimmer of his skin was on display as he slowly blinked.

“Nice try.” you say as close your eyes a bit with a light chuckle.

“I didn’t do anything.” he says to you quietly with a slight smirk, taking long and good look at you. You slide forward to get off but two hands hold you up to set you down gracefully on your feet.

“I could’ve done it myself.” you say as you walk along the earthy path.

“I meant to compliment you.” he says after some time. You look at him so he can continue.

“You’re quite observant for a human. You have the ability to see the beauty in the unordinary. Don’t lose this ability.” he says.

As you thought about what he said, he took his moment to grab your hand and make your body go right back onto his back. He flings himself through the trees and starts to run back to the home where his family was.

He slows to a stop and you slide off of his back. You didn’t want to go straight inside so you stalled outside. You walked a bit to his car. As you stared at the sleek design, you say out loud in a calm voice, “Everything’s too perfect.” He nods to you as you were correct. The same thought ran through his mind once before.

“Do you want to drive it?” he then asks as you looked ahead at the hood of his car. It shined even though it was a cloudy day. It looked as if it were never touched.

“No way.” you say shaking your head at it. Edward chuckles as you gawk a bit at the thought of driving the vehicle.

He reached into his own pocket and opened the car door.

“At least around the house.” he says in persuasion.

You suck in a breath as he tossed the keys and you caught them.

You placed your hands on the steering wheel as the engine purred smoothly.

“It rides so smooth for a vintage car. What year is it?” you ask as you cruised.

“1954 Corvette.”

“Nice.” you say as you peered out of the windshield of the convertible.

Edward groans a bit as the wind made the gate start to swing to a close. “I got it.” you say as you hop out of the car and push it a bit to make it open wider.

You turn around and Edward is in the driver seat. You frown a bit as you then slid onto the hood of his car. He finds this funny. You do not.

“I thought I was driving?” You ask narrowing your eyes a bit and you see a flash of white coming from his mouth.

You noticed that the car was moving gently as he then raised one hand on the edge of the windshield. You slap his hand in a chastised way and he chortled out as you then grip onto his hand, still cautious of sliding off. But, you were balanced as he worked the wheel and braked back in the parking space in front of the home. He’s then out of the car in a flash, right beside you and takes the same hand to lift you up. A surprised gasp comes out of your mouth as your stomach was on his shoulder. You lift your upper body a bit and put your arms around his neck to hold on and he held his hands on your back.

You were now sliding down and his face was close, so you leaned your head back, his lips barely missed your throat as you felt them brush against your skin. You felt it was accidental but you weren’t too sure. You’re placed on ground onto your feet with grace.

Looking up at him, “You think you’re so cool.”

The statement only fed his confidence, displaying his own smug demeanor.

You take your one arm off from around him and walk to the fountain that had a perfectly posed statue that was wet from the water pouring from out of it. Sitting on the granite, you hear the soft sounds of the water pouring.

It was an interesting feeling that you were feeling. It was almost serenity but you were too sure. The property seemed to fit the family so well. Spacious, also isolated as you could only see the groomed acres of field and orange and yellow leaves that were hung and scattered on the grass around the trees. The home had a cottage touch to it. It was someone’s dream home that looked straight out of a brochure.

“Do you have other vintage cars like that?” you ask him as he skipped a small pebble into the fountain water. You watch it make a small splash.

“Yes. I collect some.” he answers.

“Is that another one of your hobbies?” you ask him and watch him break a small crooked grin and nod.

You felt a buzz in your pocket as you rose to a stand. Alice sends you a photo. A soft groan emits from you as you look at your phone, a picture of Edward lifting you from the car.

“You look like you’re about to body slam me.” you say as you playfully frown.

“It does not.” he says with an amused look and touched his hand on a small spot on your back.

You heard Alice before you could step into the home.

“You didn’t take pictures of what you saw up there.” she says.

“It’s nice to see you too.” you say and soft chuckles are heard.

You look over to see Jasper and Emmett in a chess match. Now knowing Jasper’s power, you wondered if he could affect his opponents while playing. You wondered if there was a rule in place within the family from using powers during games.

When you turned to look elsewhere, you didn’t notice that Alice had you in a hug until she unwrapped her arms.

She then stands back and takes your hands, “Are you hungry?” she asks.

She leads you into the kitchen without waiting to hear your answer. You weren’t too sure though. You took in the scenery of Esme standing at the large kitchen island, putting what seems to be fresh vegetables into the clear bowl of salad. Rosalie was pouring a bowl of pasta sauce into a pot on the stove.

“She hasn’t eaten anything today.” Edward says. You shoot him a dirty look. This doesn’t affect him as he peered down at you.

“At all? That’s not good. It’s almost after the afternoon!” Esme says with concern but in a motherly tone.

“I just forgot.” you sheepishly admit.

Rosalie to your surprise raised an eyebrow as she bubbled out a small chuckle.

“A human who forgets to eat.” Edward jokes. With your arms folded you take steps towards him, “I’ve been stressed. How could I remember?” you hiss at him.

You felt Alice’s fingers place on your shoulders as she massages a bit, “That’s why you’re snappy. Eat and your levels will come down.” she says.

You walk a bit over to Rosalie to peer into the pot.

“It’s pasta. How could one mess it up?” she says to you with a look.

“We shall see.” you say with a shrug.

“It’s fresh sauce. I helped crush the tomatoes.” Alice chirps.

You watch Esme put salad onto a plate and hand it toward you with a warm smile. It was salad. You were grateful that it was easy to make. You didn’t have to pretend it was good.

One by one, they filed out of the room as Edward took a seat next to you. He had handed you a small block of cheese and a handheld cheese grater. As you made the cheese fall over the pasta sauce that on the pasta on your plate, he tells you, “They are hunting.”

“You’re not going with them?” you ask as you twirl your fork.

He shakes his head a little, “I fed earlier. I will go later on tonight.”

“I really didn’t like how you put me on the spot like that.” you say after you swallow.

He says with a crooked grin, “You have to take care of yourself.”

“Easy for you to say.” you say as you look down at your plate.

“You know, I can’t play chess with any of my family members.” he says to you.

“Oh, yeah.” you say in realization, “I can only imagine the times your opponent quit.”

Edward actually chuckles at some of the memories of his siblings giving up. He could only read their next move.

“Think about Alice.” he says.

“That must suck.” you say to him chuckling as well and he joins in.

“Should we play? You’re the only one who I can’t read your next move.” he offers to you and perks up with hope.

You froze a bit, you then shake your head as you scooped the last bit of pasta on your plate.

“You don’t know how to play?” he asks.

“I…I can play. I just…Can’t play with you.” you say.

“I don’t understand.” he says with knitted eyebrows. You rise up and place your dishes into the sink.

He follows you into the living room. The game pieces are back to their original spots. The chess pieces were made of glass instead of the wood you were used to.

“That’s me and Paul’s thing. It’s…One of the first games we played when we met.” you say as you remember the moments he laughed at his victories. You could remember as if it were yesterday.

“Did you beat him a lot?” he asks.

“Pfft. As if. I haven’t won a single game against him.” you say.

“Try me out.” he says. You look at him as he sits in one of the swivel chairs at the small corner table that had the game ready to be played.

“Edward…” you say and shake your head.

You sit on the plush couch. You noticed he hasn’t moved. You hear a soft clink on the glass game. You turn around with your knees on the couch and see that he’s playing it by himself.

“You’re really playing by yourself.” you point out to him.

“It’s what I do anyway.” he says with a small shrug. He reached over the other team and makes a move based on his recent move.

You sighed as you turn back around. It looked depressing.

You flop in the chair and he slides the pieces back into the correct places.

You lean forward as he goes first. You decide to just copy what he does. If he lived longer, he definitely had time to perfect this game.

You bounce your leg a bit as you noticed him taking your pieces but, you were satisfied with his shocked look when you took his queen. You couldn’t help your smirk.

You kept asking yourself, “What would Paul do?”

Your own question was answered when space was open for you to make one move and you jump out of your seat with excitement, “Check mate.”

He looks at the board with a soft grin, happy to have place a real game in what he felt like was in ages.

“I let you win.” he says and you say, “Nice try, you did not.” You do a small shimmy around him, you couldn’t believe it.

You walk over to the couch and sit down with a smile.

He sits down next to you and you turn to him, “I can’t believe I whooped a vampire.”

He placed a hand on your face in an immature way that made him laugh a bit at your squeal from the coldness. Your hands is on his wrist as you pull it away.

“When is your birthday?” he asks as he sits back.

“In a couple of weeks. Why?” you ask.

“It’s a great thing to know.” he says.

You tell him the date, which makes you ask, “Do you and your family celebrate your birthday every year?”

He lifts one shoulder a bit, “The last of our family to have a real birthday was Emmett’s. In 1935.”

“Jesus.” you whisper out.

“When is your birthday?” you then ask with your head on the back of the couch. He seemed hesitant as he silently moved his lips a bit before answering.

“So, it passed. Why didn’t you celebrate?”

“Celebrate. I can’t exactly eat cake.” he says showing his smile.

“Hm..You could place candles on your mountain lion.” you say to him and you both share a laugh. You didn’t realize how the sky was darkening until the rest of the Cullen family had entered.

“I should take you back.” he says to you. You nod as you rise up.

Esme and Carslile hug you at the same time from each side.

“It was so nice to see you.” Esme rings out.

“It’s nice to see you doing well.” Carslile says. They step out and peer at you. They looked like proud parents.

Emmett gives you a bear hug, swaying you, which makes you laugh.

“Be careful with her.” Edward says.

As you land on your feet, Emmett pays him no mind as you laugh at his annoyed face.

You were shocked that Rosalie stepped forward.

“Your pasta was good. Thank you. Thank you Esme. I enjoyed everything.” you say. Rosalie gives you a quick but genuine hug and steps out and flicks her blond hair as she goes back to Emmett’s side.

“Great. I can finish your outfit for tomorrow.” Alice says as you are now outside about to enter Edward’s car. He held the door open.

“What’s tomorrow?” you ask.

“You meet with Larry at his office. Trust me, this outfit will make you look simply professional.”

“I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to breathe too.” you say.

“I know.” she says and gives you a hug. Jasper waves goodbye before departing with Alice.

After a shower, you had to face reality. You paced a bit before turning on your laptop. You decide to check your email to stall time. Larry emails you saying he will be by his office at a certain time if you wanted to drop off your signed contract.

You grab the sheet and grab a nearby pin. You scribble your name and push it to side.

You sigh and push the call button. The soft sound of the trill of the call is heard.

Paul comes into view.

“Hey.” you say with a small smile.

“Hey.” he says tiredly. He looked rough.

You frown a bit, “Is everything alright? You look like you haven’t slept in years.”

“No. I need you in my bed.” he says with a deep sigh.

You peer at him through the screen and he comments, “At least you look good. You look happy.”

“I do?” you ask and he nods.

“How’s patrol going? You only get like that if threats are running rampant.” you say to him.

He looks to the side, “It’s…Honestly kicking all of our asses. Jacob might even phase sooner than we thought. We even have a new pack member.”

“Really? Who?” you ask.

“Embry. His best friend. This shit turned into a soap opera. Apparently nobody knows who’s this kid’s father is so now the elders are trying to narrow it all down to who it is.”

“Wow. I missed all of the scoop.” you say.

He chuckles a bit, “You definitely did. Don’t worry when you come home, you’ll get all of the details.”

You nod and he noticed you get quiet.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

“I hate it when you lie.” he says.

You look at the camera, “Nothing is wrong. You don’t think I should wait until the threat is gone?”

He looks down for a bit, “I mean..The leech we’re chasing isn’t going to touch you. We chase her down to the Canadian border when she does come. It’s like she’s taunting us and she gets away every time.”

“Everytime?” you ask to be sure.

“Everytime.” he says staring back at you. He takes a look at you before asking, “What did you do today?”

“I went to Ithaca.” you admit.

“Where’s that?”

You tell him how it’s only a couple of hours from where you currently are.

“What made you go there? What did you even do?”

“I was bored. I had no duties today. I seen this beautiful waterfall. I should’ve taken pictures.” you say a little bummed.

You quickly say something before he asked more questions, “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” he asks.

You immediately get nervous and you swallow as you slowly slide the paper on the desk to you. He waits until you are able to look back at him.

“I…I signed it.”

“Signed what?” he asks.

“I took the offer.” you say quietly.

“What?” he asked so you can say it louder.

You clear your throat. “I took..The offer.” you say this time with clarity but you upped your volume.

He lets out a breath as he didn’t say anything.

“I know, that this is…”

“This is fucked up.” he says.

“Paul-”

“No!” he firmly says.

You place your head in your hands before lifting back up.

“This is what I’ve been working for. This is for us. I’m going to do nothing share the fruits of my labor with you.” you say.

“Bullshit.” he says shaking his head.

“It’s not!” you say and you scoff, “There’s nothing like that in Washington.”

“What did you tell me when we first met? It was one of the first things you told me.” he says with bass.

“I told you that this was my dream.” you tell him.

“No. You told me you had everything you needed here. Correct?” he says. The correct memory of you telling him that, hit you with a pang. You nod.

“So what the fuck changed?” he asks.

“That was before I knew what was here. I’m…I’m being selfish.”

“Really fucking selfish. I haven’t gotten any sleep since you’ve been here. You coming back home was the main thing that was keeping me going.” he says and ends it with a bang as you knew it was from his hand hitting on the table from where his device was sitting on.

“It’s been like that for me too. I’ve been stressed out. I love this.” you breathed out.

His gaze is piercing you through the screen as he’s studying you. The silence was deafening in your ears as you fidget with the pen.

“It feels like I’ve lost you.” he says as he shakes his head in a slow disapproval.

“That’s ridiculous.” you say and you even laugh a little.

“No, something’s not right.” he says narrowing his eyes a bit.

“I can say the same for you. I mean, would you really want me home, worrying about you chasing a vampire that keeps getting away while I sit at home and can’t do anything? Here, I can at least keep my mind occupied. I really need this.” you say and whisper out the last part.

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Gross, Paul. No.” you say as you roll your eyes.

“Look at you. You were going to cancel even coming there and here you are fighting me to stay there. It doesn’t. Make. Sense.” he says.

“It might not make sense for you, but it makes sense for me.” you tell him.

“Y/N. Come home.” he says.

You look at him. He looks back.

“Y/N.” he says again.

“Did you read my letter?” you ask him.

He stared at you. His face was slowly turning into a scowl.

“No. I didn’t. You were supposed to come home and read it to me yourself.” he says to you.

“You can read it.”

Him suddenly standing kind of caught you off guard as he stood to pace. You can still hear him, “If you don’t come home, fuck what Sam says, I’m coming to get you.”

Your mind starts racing and your heart starts pounding as you thought of Victoria following him. If she was taunting them, it was definitely to pass her immortal time. She wasn’t going to let up after finding out a pack of wolves exist.

“Paul, I’m not dying. I’m just working.” you tell him.

He’s back in the camera and actually sitting back down. He says, “Do you love this more than me?”

“That’s not fair.” you say.

“Answer the question.”

“I’m not answering that! You know how much this means to me.” you say, feeling a tad bit fustrated.

“Do you even love me?” he asks with confusion.

“This went far.” you say to him.

“I want to know. I want to know why you didn’t say it back.” he says.

“Okay, stop. I don’t want either of us to say things we don’t mean-“

“Well I fucking meant it when I told you I love you.” he says, “I do. I love you.”

You drop your head and you close your eyes as you sucked in a breath.

“I’m in love with you Paul.” you tell him.

“But, do you love me?” he asks you.

Silence hung in the air as you try to open your mouth. You didn’t want to say it just to say it. You felt it was a very strong word. It wasn’t a word that was meant to be thrown around.

You looked up and Paul’s crushed face was something you will never forget. It actually made you weak and hot tears began to sting your eyes. All you could think of doing was risking the consequences, but the possibility of becoming his mortal enemy was definitely worse.

“I’ll talk to you later.” he says without energy.

You place your hands in your face to cover up your eyes, you then hear the hang up button being pushed.

[artfightdramaconfessions]

Posted an attack I was really proud of in my friend's server. The only acknowledgement I got was someone else pinging me to tell me that their friend was participating in AF as well (nothing about my art though). The friend then comments with one of his attacks and like 5 people (including the first person) IMMEDIATELY jumped in telling him how awesome his art was.

I was a little annoyed by that, but whatever. I asked him what his username was because I was considering making an attack for him since he's a friend of a friend. "Thanks, but your art is kinda ugly, so no thanks."

Like, damn bitch wtf I know who's on my mental blacklist of giving any sort of a gift to for the future. Even if you thought that, it's so rude to actually say it. And nobody defended me either! They just flat-out didn't acknowledge what he said and kept going on about how great his art was! Guess they're all also going on my mental blacklist. Why do people have to be so rude to other artists, especially in something like AF that's supposed to be for fun???

Joke's on them because I'm getting lots of excited keyboard smashes on my attacks, so it's gonna take more than that to sour my mood. THEY might think my art is shit, but who needs 'em when I'm already making so many other artists happy? 😎

.

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

What I'm Watching: October 2024

Keeping my thoughts simple this time around. Again, three sentences or less, as that seemed to work pretty well last time. Under the cut, I've got the House On Haunted Hill remake, the Beetlejuice animated series, Hellraiser 1 and 2, the original Suspiria, and the entire Terrifier franchise. Let's go.

Terrifier (2016)

A maniac named Art the Clown terrorizes two friends on Halloween and everyone who gets in his way.

Honestly not as outrageous as I'd been led to believe. Less gory overall than, say, the Saw franchise, so I don't get the controversy. I'm more impressed at how much the makers accomplished on their budget, and now that I've seen David Howard Thornton's performance, I understand how Art got to be so iconic.

House On Haunted Hill (1999)

An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past.

Figured I might as well watch this one again having finally seen the original. It's still not scary and almost takes itself too seriously, but it's at least having fun with itself (none more so than Geoffrey Rush). It's cozy in a way only schlock can be.

Beetlejuice (1989-1991)

Adventures of the ghostly con-artist and his 12-year-old pal, Lydia.

I have only the haziest of memories of watching this on Cartoon Network as a kid, and since Tubi added it recently, etc etc. It's fun, and the humor leans heavy on punny visual gags, so I obviously find it hilarious. And I love Lydia's spider web poncho. ❤️

Terrifier 2 (2022)

After being resurrected by a sinister entity, Art the Clown returns to the timid town of Miles County where he targets a teenage girl and her younger brother on Halloween night.

Ok, a little bit more gnarly, but also a step up from the original overall. Lauren Lavera as Sienna owns my heart and immediately made it onto my list of favorite Final Girls. And regarding DHT in this go round, as I said to my sister, "You know you shouldn't be laughing, but you can't help it because the bit he's doing alongside the awful shit is genuinely funny."

Hellraiser (1987)

A woman discovers the newly resurrected, partially formed, body of her brother-in-law and lover. She starts killing for him to revitalize his body and escape the demonic beings that are pursuing him after he escaped their underworld.

I'm telling you, if you took the Cenobites out of this, you'd have a Lifetime movie...a cozy, gory Lifetime movie. I've said before that Frank's resurrection scene is one of the coolest nasty things I've seen in a movie, and the Cenobites are awesome in an equally gnarly way, but my favorite part of this is Ashley Laurence as Kirsty Cotton. 😍🥰

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 (1988)

Kirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser, where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.

Resurrected!Julia can get it. I'm still in love with Kirsty, but dayum, I wish we lived in the alternate timeline where Julia was the antagonist of the franchise. Can't decide if I prefer the expanded world building and epic feel of this one to the cozy if perverse melodrama of the OG, but I treat them as a double feature anyway so it doesn't matter.

Suspiria (1977)

An American newcomer to a prestigious German ballet academy comes to realize that the school is a front for something sinister amid a series of grisly murders.

I've heard so much about this over the years that I was really excited to finally watch it...and then I watched it. Not that it was bad, just that I was underwhelmed. It's gorgeous to look at, don't get me wrong, but it might be one of those that needs another watch before I get what the big deal is.

Terrifier 3 (2024)

Art the Clown is set to unleash chaos on the unsuspecting residents of Miles County as they peacefully drift off to sleep on Christmas Eve.

Made it all the way through this franchise without getting terrified once (hahahahahahaha) but I admit this one had me sweating in a few key scenes. Even more of a step up from 2 and not just in terms of gore. Not writing an essay on it, but anyone saying the gore is all this franchise has to offer is selling themselves short.

Woo hoo! I did it! See you in a month!

[koolades-world]

I’m glad you’re feeling better!! I completely understand trying to finish an assignment when you’re trying to make full sense of it! I myself have done that so many times! Besides, it better to get things you don’t understand out of the way so that he doesn’t come back stronger!

I’m sure even if the fic derailed from your picture in mind it’ll be awesome! I would be really curious of your first draft actually. Also, reading your possible to-do list of fics, I’m really excited for them to come! Of course, please don’t take this as a pressure to work faster, because you’re studying AND keeping up posting regularly, that’s more than what we as your readers ask for, so thank you for feeding us 🙇🏻‍♀️

I’m glad you’re feeling better!! I completely understand trying to finish an assignment when you’re trying to make full sense of it! I myself have done that so many times! Besides, it better to get things you don’t understand out of the way so that he doesn’t come back stronger!

I’m sure even if SS derailed from your picture in mind it’ll be awesome! I would be really curious of your first draft actually. Also, reading your possible to-do list of fics, I’m really excited for them to come! Of course, please don’t take this as a pressure to work faster, because you’re studying AND keeping up posting regularly, that’s more than what we as your readers ask for, so thank you for feeding us 🙇🏻‍♀️

Also, I’ll be waiting for your ao3 account!! I’ll make sure to check it out as quickly as possible <3 and thank you for tagging me in the mbti personality match thingy! I got 93% which I was over the moon for!!! I really thought it would be as low as 20-30% as much as I would’ve loved for it to be higher. I just didn’t think there would be a good chance because I remember once there was a question for the brothers about their type. I know it’s silly to stick to those responses, but I know I’m not the ‘intelligent’ type. It’s really hard to convince myself I am when I look at my grades, even in chem- the subject I claim to love so much. I appreciate art with techniques and various medium artists use, but that’s it. I’m not creative enough to be able to analyse art and literature in a meaningful manner. I admit, it’s all stupid when I say it out loud though. So tdlr: I was genuinely shocked with that high percentage of compatibility with mine (ISFJ) and Satan’s personality type. Honestly though, I am skeptical of the website, because my lowest % was with Solomon- 84%. When I looked up the worst possible matches for ISFJ, ENTP showed up, which is what Sol is… then I calmed myself down remembering that all this is not really a big deal, but a fun little thing to do! (As you can clearly see me overthinking about silly things when I should be using this brain power to get my assignments and papers done XD)

It’s really cool that you’re a biology major!! You have my complete and utter respect for being able to work with it! I love bio, but only when it comes to certain topics, like metabolism, genetics and just molecular biology in general! Then again, my chem bias is definitely showing XD But I do want to get a bachelors in chem! I am just scared of the research and analysis parts, since I have to improve A LOT… Since I am doing IB diploma currently, I attend a course called Theory of Knowledge which explores how and why do we know the things we do. ToK has different catagories- one of them being natural sciences. I was devastated to know what scientists and researchers need to be doing today just to be seen for their work… So my main reason for despising business and corporations did not even matter when people in the science reseach fields have ulterior motives to get ahead too… tdlr: I admire you for being able to research and possibly name the bacteriophage you’re examining!!

Also, it is scary and exciting to be using such expensive equipment!! I mean I always feel extremely nervous when handling these tools!!! Although, up until now I can proudly say I have not ruined any volumetric pipettes (and those automatic pipettes where you can set a voloume and it’ll mainain the same volume everytime you need it! I’ve had the pleasure of using them for my assays so far, and it was both good and scary while it lasted!), burettes, sensors, colourimeters, microscopes, spectrophotometers, and temperature boxes! But my goodness the fear and almost heartattacks I used to feel when using them and when something wasn’t working for a few minutes… but if I want to choose my career path in relation to working in chem labs, I should be getting used to this I suppose… I still have two mini papers to write in bio and chem, so I will have to be using any of those equipment some time in future. I have had a good track record, and I hope to keep it clean XD.

There you go- this is what happens when you excitedly repond to me, I yap more than you! So we got this!! We can get through our semesters!!! (sorry for this being this long though T^T)

HELLOOOO

sorry it took me a hot minute to get back to you! been on my schoolwork grind and all my posts from the past week as been scheduled since like, last Saturday haha.

for a while there I actually contemplated reducing my posting schedule but so far so good! I just get everything done on Saturday and Sunday, and queue it up for the week. sometimes I don’t open tumblr up for a few days at a time because I know I’m all set! i'm actually also setting up my ao3 rn ! finally got that confirmation email and i'm going to transfer all of my oneshots, drabbles, and spellbound secrets over at some point. still trying to understand how it functions tbh

yeah I thought that website was a little sketch too haha. 84 is still pretty high. I think the lowest I got was with Satan? Apparently INTJ and INTJ isn’t a great pairing. On the other hand though, I think I got a 99 with solomon? Something like that. maybe that's why my first fic was about him and not my og babygirl LOL. I also totally understand that feeling you have. In peer leading I am always the slowest and fear the day I have to explain a problem to the group haha. People think I know what I’m doing when I’m reality, I’m literally just as lost! maybe I just look studious haha

using the fancy equipment is lowkey scary, but i still very much enjoy it. in my lab, we only use the volumatic pipettes for now, and honestly, i'm alright with that. easier for me not to mess up haha. one time i thought i broke a serological pipette when really i just forgot to squeeze the little ball at the end to give it the power it needed LOL (I just googled it and only the tips are popping up on google... so maybe that's not what it's actually called and that's just what my professor calls it?? no clue). i just collected the samples that might contain my phage. for fun, i took the dog with me and we ended up having to wade in a disgusting stream to get to where i wanted to sample collect. i could've put her back in the car, but she wanted to stay with me and i would feel bad anyways. had to keep reminding her we were there for science, not for sniffing random spots intensely or barking at bikers minding their business. she does not like water, but she did it for me haha. unfortunately for her, she did have to get a bath after that. i really hope that was worth it, and since it was gross here's to hoping there's actually phage in there

good luck with your papers! i believe in you!! you should've mentioned you were going for IB! girl idk how you're doing that, that seems so brutal. i did cambridge, and while it was rough, it wasn't definitely not nearly as rough as IB. i had friends in IB who seemed so miserable, and it made what i was doing look like fun.

it's alright, we are yappers together <3 chats like this are literally always fun! have a great day and stay beautiful!!!!

[rachelhargrovearchived]

Rachel let out a soft laugh as Max tried to not acknowledge the fact that she'd called herself lame. "Well Walter makes sure I do other things. I guess that's what happens when your dog is really the only type of child you can have. Plus, you know how I like to visit all the different coffeehouses and cafes around Providence Peak to keep myself occupied." She joked, feeling a little more able to breathe now that they were walking and it felt nice to be able to touch him. She missed his touch. "I am going to do an e-vite for everyone, but consider yours a VIP invite since you got a verbal one. It'll have all the details though, and yeah no need to bring anything just yourself and wear black." Rachel shared, not really too pressed on whether it was casual or formal black attire, but she just thought it would be fun to have a dress code.

She was a tad surprised, stopping her steps for a moment as she looked up to Max. "This wouldn't happen to be Emmy and Verda's wedding? Because I am going to be there and Emmy was talking to me about how I should get my first tattoo at the reception! I also mentioned you and how good of an artist you are. Not that I think she listened to me about that and I'm sure other people told her about how awesome you guys are." Rachel didn't want him to think she was trying to take credit for his job whatsoever, but just was excited to hear about it. "That's really awesome, I'm excited to see what you guys do, Maximiliano!"

@max-cortez

Had he done something wrong? Had his harmless joke missed its mark? The short reply caused his thoughts to spiral, but something else entirely crossed his mind as she mentioned the book and planning her birthday. Walter was good though? As in she'd never thought of having children of her own, or didn't want them? The touch at his arm was nearly enough to anchor him back to reality, to jolt him into the moment at the renaissance faire, but he lingered a little longer in his own head before he forced himself out and cleared his throat. "Writing a book, planning your own birthday party. How do you have the time to do anything these days? Are you sending out invites, or is that the official one?"

He didn't have much practice in gift giving, but getting her something that meant more than the dollar sign on the price tag was important. "I've been alright. I have a wedding I'm helping out with at the end of the month. Someone asked Omar if he'd do a tattoo booth, so he asked me to help." He and Omar had been bouncing ideas off of one another, all while trying to gather enough supplies to ensure that the wedding went off without a hitch.

@rachelhargrove

[seungkwansphd]

to boil a frog

pairing: seungcheol x reader wordcount: 15.6k summary: you & cheol go back, like way back. growing up together, you never felt anything more for him than a proximity based fondness, but things are a little different since you moved back to town. genre/themes: tattoo artist!coups, childhood acquaintances to lovers. brother’s best friend (but it’s not so much a theme as it is just a statement of fact). S L O W B U R N. idk that this is even fluff but more like just romance? mention of alcohol, tattoos, needles...cat?

a/n: truly idk what this is and why. it’s so long & self indulgent, but i’m in my soft era i guess, hah!

“Hi, I’m here for my tattoo with Seungcheol?” you checked in with the unfairly stylish receptionist at the front desk of the tattoo and piercing studio. “I booked for 3pm.”

“Okay, yes, here you are!” they smiled up at you, “If you want to just take a seat, I’ll see how he’s doing with prepping the room.”

“Perfect!” you smiled before moving towards the waiting area.

    Your foot bounced excitedly as you waited. In addition to being excited to get your first tattoo, you were doubly excited because you had history with Seungcheol. He’d been one of your brother’s closest friends growing up and despite not keeping in touch since they’d left for college, you’d really enjoyed following his artistic evolution on social media. You weren’t sure if he’d recognize you anymore, to be honest. It would be funnier if he didn’t.

“YN?” the receptionist returned, greeting you with a smile, “He’s ready if you’d like to follow me!”

“Sure!” you stood, “I love your dermals, by the way! The placement is so good,” you gushed as you followed them through a short hallway.

“Ah, thank you so much! They’re probably the piercing I worry about ripping out the most, but I do love them,” they chuckled before gesturing to an open door. “He’ll be right through here.”

“Awesome, thank you so much!” you grinned before stepping through.

“Hey,” Seungcheol greeted you after hearing your footsteps. His back was still turned to you as he finished wiping down his countertop. “YN, right? You know what’s funny, one of my friends has a sister who shares your exact name. Like last name and everything,” he chuckled before turning to greet you.

“Huh that’s weird,” you mirrored his laugh, trying to hide your curiosity as his eyes finally met yours. His eyes scanned your face for a few moments before he rolled his eyes and let out a loud laugh.

“Oh I’m a fuckin’ idiot,” he laughed, “What the hell are you doing here?” he leaned back in his chair, looking at you with slight disbelief.

“Mm, here to get a tattoo,” you deadpanned.

“Yeah no shit, but why are you home? I thought you were living that big city life now,” Seungcheol rolled his eyes at you again. You had always been a sarcastic scamp as a kid and it didn’t surprise him that this was still true.

“Oh did he not tell you?” you asked, referring to your brother. “I’m moving back. Well closer at least. I got a different job offer out here.”

“Oh no, I hadn’t heard,” Seungcheol shook his head, “To be honest, Jihun and I don’t talk all that much anymore. Not since he moved, at least.”

“Ah,” you nodded, “That makes sense. Time zones and whatnot.”

“But that’s cool! New job and I bet your parents will be glad you’ll be closer.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “They are verily psyched.”

“Well that’s dope! It’ll be good to have you around again,” Seungcheol laughed before shifting topics, “So this tattoo. Did you have something in mind? You’re my last appointment, so we can take some time drafting and working on things.”

“I was actually planning on just picking something from your available flash,” you confessed, “I’m a big fan of the latest set. But…,” you flashed him a cheesy grin, “If you’re offering, I’m not gonna turn down a custom design from you. And I expect a friends and family discount, of course.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Seungcheol laughed heartily. You were making the same face you used to make at him in high school when you were in a bind and needed help.

“Not much,” you laughed, eyeing some of the designs up on the walls. “Honestly, I’m down for whatever,” you shrugged.

“How about this? Pick out a few of the flash designs that you like and we can weave something together. I think that’d be fun.”

“Deal,” you grinned, accepting the binder of flash sheets from him. Pursing your lips, you flipped through it in its entirety before going back to the beginning to point out the ones that had caught your eye.

    Seungcheol couldn’t help but approve of the way you reviewed the designs in full before pointing out your favorites. You seemed to gravitate towards botanical, insect, and occultish designs which made sense, given how many times you’d attempted to cast spells on him and Jihun as children. More than a few times at sleepovers, they had woken up to find that rocks, leaves, and twigs had been strategically placed around them while they’d been sleeping. He couldn’t help but chuckle fondly as he recalled a specific incident where you’d snuck up on him to pluck out one of his hairs. When pressed on the issue, you’d calmly explained that you needed it for a spell to make him go bald.

“Okay, those are all the ones I like best,” you nodded at him, waiting for feedback.

“Alright, let me work something up. You can chill in here,” Seungcheol took the binder back from you, flipping between the designs you’d marked with sticky tabs and moving to draft up something new.

“How long’s it gonna take?” you made a face at him, “Can I go look at the piercing portfolios instead?” you asked, not really appealed by the idea of just sitting and waiting.

“I mean sure,” he shrugged, “Ask Wren for them,” he pointed back towards the reception area, “I’ll come get you when I’m ready.”

“Yay!” you popped up excitedly, clapping your hands together as you walked back towards reception.

“Hey Wren, can I take a peek at the piercers’ portfolios? And also can I ask you where you get your hair done? I’m moving back here soon, but I haven’t lived here in a while and could use a stylist rec.”

“Oh of course!” Wren smiled brightly at you, “So do you know Cheol from when you lived here before?” they asked as they pulled out the piercing portfolios to hand to you.

“Yea, we grew up together,” you nodded, flipping the binders open, “I wouldn’t say we were friends? But he was close friends with my brother so he was at our house a lot.”

“That makes a lot more sense,” Wren nodded with understanding, “I was wondering why he was so chatty with you! Usually his room is way more quiet.”

“Oh yeah, we go way back. A lot of shenanigans,” you grinned as a few septums caught your eye.

“So where do you live now?” Wren inquired after giving you the Instagram handle of their current stylist.

“I’m actually in the process of moving back! I got a job in the next town over, but I was thinking I’d move back around here since there’s more to do? This is actually mostly an apartment hunting trip.”

“Oh my goodness, well let’s be friends when you move back! I’ve been trying to get Cheol to come out and do things more with me and my partner, but he’s kind of introverted so he doesn’t bite all that often.”

“I don’t know that I’ll be able to convince him either,” you laughed, “We’re not exactly close. But I would love to be friends! I don’t know too many people who live here anymore.”

“Okay, deal! Let’s exchange phone numbers then. It’ll be good to hang out with someone less grumpy than Seungcheol,” Wren teased, eyes dancing at the man in question as he entered the reception area.

“So grumpy!” you giggled playfully at his expression, “I’m going to leave you a bad review for poor bedside manner,” you couldn’t help but tease him.

“You’d be grumpy too if you had two imps bothering you!” Seungcheol protested with a pout, before beckoning you with his hand, “Now come on, I’m done with my draft.”

“Okay,” you shrugged, following him back to his room.

“What do you think? It might be a little bigger than you had planned, but we can scale down if needed.”

“No, I love it!” you sighed, eyes sparkling as you looked at the design. The final draft was a staghorn beetle with a third eye on its thorax surrounded by a wreath of botanical work that included some of your favorite plants and flowers.

“I had a hard time deciding between a moth or the beetle,” Seungcheol mused, “But you were always a little…unique, so I went with the beetle.”

“Thanks, I think,” you narrowed your eyes at him, unsure if he was sassing you. “I’m a huge fan of this. I think you chose great. Now as far as placement, I am thinking thigh? Left thigh?”

“Do you wanna go this big?” Seungcheol asked. The tattoo artist in him thrilled the idea of the placement, but he wanted to make sure you weren’t overcommitting.

“I mean, I’ll be honest, that wasn’t what I had planned. But don’t you feel like…it deserves it?” you pulled up the leg of your shorts in the mirror to try and envision the placement and it just felt right. “I think at least let’s pop the stencil on so we can see it. But my gut says yeah.”

“Okay,” Seungcheol nodded. That was a good idea.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah,” you nodded furiously at him after he had placed the stencil on. “She’s just gonna be a big bitch, I don’t know what to tell you, Seungcheol. It just feels right, right?”

“Yeah, I agree,” Seungcheol grinned at you, “We can do this in multiple sittings too, so don’t feel like it needs to all be done in one day.”

“I’ll let you know,” you smiled up at him, “Eee! I’m excited!”

“Alright skippy, let’s get you up on this table and we’ll get started,” Seungcheol patted the tattoo table. He made a few adjustments so that your thigh was positioned at a comfortable working height before getting started. “How’s that?” he asked above the buzzing of the tattoo gun.

“Not too bad, actually,” you were surprised to find out, “It’s just…buzzy?”

“Hah! I mean that’s good, okay I’ll keep going then,” he laughed, ducking his head back down to continue working.

    The time passed surprisingly quickly. You and Seungcheol caught up on a variety of topics until you ran out of things to talk about. After that, he let you choose some music and you simply watched him work quietly. By your math, it had been around two years since you had last seen him and seven since you’d had an actual conversation with him. Somehow he looked both the same and different. He had always been sturdy, especially in the legs, but he seemed to have filled out more in the arms and shoulders in recent years. His face looked exactly the same, but his hair was now longer than you remembered it ever being in the past. It suited him.

“Doing okay?” he checked in as he worked on a section of shading. He had been going over the same area of skin for a while and was wondering how you were holding up.

“Yup,” you nodded. It was starting to get a bit sensitive, but you weren’t ready to tap out just yet. You focused on inhaling deeply through your nostrils and exhaling slowly through your mouth, which helped.

“Good girl,” he murmured approvingly as his left hand moved to grasp you at the knee, turning your inner thigh out to face him a bit more.

    Your eyes flashed to him and your breathing pattern halted as you processed his words. With the soft praise, the somewhat breathy tone of his voice, and the pressure of his fingertips at your inner thigh, you found yourself shivering. Whether Seungcheol was aware of it or not, you found yourself deeply flustered by his praise and wildly confused at your reaction. Swallowing, you tried to gauge whether he even registered what he had just said, but he seemed to still be deeply absorbed in shading.

“Should we take a break?” he looked up suddenly, “You’re getting squirmy, it seems like.”

“I-, uh, yeah,” you did your best to act normal, “Yeah a break would be good, I think,” you managed to answer him.

“Okay,” Seungcheol stood up, “I could stand to stretch my legs anyways.”

“Sounds good,” you gave him a thumbs up as you raised your arms above your head to do some stretching yourself.

    Seungcheol peeled off his gloves and turned to take a sip of water. His expression creased once his back was turned to you. Why the hell had he said that to you? It certainly hadn’t been on purpose, but as soon as it left his mouth, he’d wanted to wince. He could only hope that you hadn’t heard it or registered its weirdness. 

“Do you need any water or a snack? We’ve been at it for a while,” he offered, pulling open a cabinet to reveal a handful of water bottles and a variety of snacks.

“I have water in my bag, if you don’t mind grabbing it for me? I would eat something though.”

“Should we order something? It’s getting to be around dinner time, I wouldn’t mind eating something proper,” he suggested as he handed you a granola bar.

“Oh yeah! Build in another break in a couple of hours, that sounds good. What’s good to eat around here nowadays?” you asked through a mouthful of granola.

“Tomato Pie is actually still open, if you feel like pizza,” Seungcheol chuckled as he scrolled through restaurants on his phone. “Otherwise it just depends on what you want?”

“I’m not feeling pizza. Let’s save TP for another time,” you shook your head, “What about sushi? Something light or fresh.”

“Oh sure! Um, how about this place?” he offered you his phone. You scanned the PDF menu before nodding.

“Yeah that looks good! I’ll do roll 37 in a combo.”

“Cool, I’ll have Wren order for us. They might want to eat too,” he nodded, stepping out of the room momentarily. Before too long, the sound of the tattoo gun was droning and you fell into an easy quiet with Seungcheol again.

“Please tell me more about Cheol as a kid,” Wren asked desperately as they swirled udon around their chopsticks.

“No,” Seungcheol grumbled.

“Of course!” you answered over him.

“Do y’all have a favorite memory together? Or a most distinct one?”

“Favorite?” your brows furrowed in concentration as you tried to think. “Like I said, he and I weren’t really friends? But, oh!” you clapped your hands together suddenly, “But this one stands out! It was the end of summer before Jihun and Seungcheol were leaving for college.”

“Please don’t tell this story,” Seungcheol buried his face into his hands, ears turning pink.

“Oh it’s cute though!” you argued, but you wouldn’t tell it without his consent. You waited a moment for him to lift his head again, eyebrows raising in a way that you knew to mean ‘go ahead’.

    Eyes sparkling, you recalled the night before your brother and Seungcheol moved away for college. You had been nearly inconsolable as you and Jihun really had been close growing up and you simply couldn’t imagine finishing high school without them. He and Seungcheol had tried all manner of things to cheer you up, but nothing worked until they whipped out an emergency dance routine to your then-favorite boy band. They hadn’t really put all that much effort into learning it and mostly tripped over themselves, but it had done the trick and you’d laughed so hard that you cried. That was still an incredibly fond night for you.

“Oh and he was blonde then too! That was an era,” you wrinkled your nose as you finished telling the story.

“He can dance?” Wren looked at you incredulously.

“No, he can’t! But he tried, and that was what was important,” you chuckled heartily. “Honestly, Cheol was kind of just a good person. He was usually nice to me, but generally I just saw glimpses of him around.”

“You’re failing to mention all of the times that I bailed you out when Jihun was busy,” Seungcheol gave you a pointed glance.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you shook your head playfully at him. “He’s always been an old man like this.”

“He is responsible like that, isn’t he?” Wren nodded at you. “Our Studio Daddy.”

“Eugh yuck!” your skin crawled as you heard Wren refer to Seungcheol as Daddy. “No no no, don’t like that one bit!”

“You and me both,” Seungcheol rolled his eyes at both of you as he finished up his food. “You done? Let’s finish this bitch up. We’re getting close.”

“You good to lock up, boss?” Wren asked as they cleared their dishes.

“Yeah, you’re good! Just turn off the reception lights and lock the door when you leave. Don’t want any randos wandering in.”

“Sure!”

“So are you in charge?” you asked after Seungcheol had settled back into to finish up the last sections of shading on the beetle legs. Wren kept referring to him as ‘boss’, but you couldn’t tell if it was just good natured ribbing.

“Kind of. I hate being called boss, but I do own the studio now. The last owners were ready to retire and move, so they made me a good deal. I don’t feel like the owner yet, but I guess technically I am.”

“Wow, that’s…that’s really impressive, Seungcheol. I’m proud of you,” you smiled genuinely at him.

“This is weird, you’re never this serious,” he raised an eyebrow at you, a little uncomfortable to receive your genuine praise.

“I know, but I am serious!” you laughed, “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve been following you for a while. I’m proud of how you’ve developed your art form and now you even own the studio! I think that’s super dope.”

“Thanks,” he grinned, ducking his head down to hide his blush under the guise of inspecting his work. It wasn’t too much longer before he was finished and applying tattoo dressing. “So for aftercare. Everyone has their own opinion, but I like Saniderm. Keep this one on for 24 hours and remove and wash. If you want, you can apply another sheet. Try to wear loose clothing as much as you can, but life is life. You can always call if you feel like it looks weird, but basically treat it like a wound cause it is.”

“Cool, sounds good!” you gave him a thumbs up. “What’s the damage, boss?”

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes at you before working up a number that was on the low end of reasonable.

“That’s too low,” you decided, counting out bills until you reached a number that seemed more fair. “Dinner money’s in there too.”

“I-,” Seungcheol was slightly surprised. Not that he thought you’d be stingy, but because he was still accustomed to the you that begged rides off of him and never had gas money.

“I’ve had a big kid job for years now, don’t look so shocked,” you smiled at him, tucking your things back into your bag. “It was really good to see you, Coups. Maybe Wren and I can talk you into a night out sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he half smiled at the old nickname as he waved you out the door. His lips curled into a full smile after the door swung shut. It had been good to see you.

…

“Hey boss?” Wren popped into Seungcheol’s office, trying to seem casual.

“I told you don’t call me that,” he looked up from his sketching. “What is it?”

“Do you have any strong friends that could help move some furniture this weekend? They will be paid.”

“You’ve never paid me to move furniture for you,” he narrowed his eyes at Wren, “Also didn’t you just move like a couple months ago? Why are you moving again?”

“Not me, YN. They just texted me. I guess the moving company cancelled at the last minute, so she’s scrambling for options.”

“Oh, shit. That sucks,” Seungcheol crossed his arms, brow furrowing at the situation. “I mean I could probably scrounge up a few friends.”

“Huh, okay!” Wren fixed their boss with an odd glance before plopping into the empty chair across from him. “Did you and YN ever date? Or like…have a thing?”

“What? No,” Seungcheol made a face of slight distaste at his receptionist. “That has never even crossed my mind until now. And I find it unpleasant.”

“Ugh, boo! Friends to lovers is the best trope,” Wren frowned, “I should’ve known you’d be a party pooper about this too. Oh well, I’ll let YN know that she can count on at least one of you meatheads to show up. I’ll get the address and stuff from her too!”

“Sounds good,” Seungcheol nodded, making a quick note on a scrap piece of paper to see whether Mingyu would be free and to exchange phone numbers with you so you could contact him directly.

…

“Hey Cheol?”

“Huh?” Seungcheol looked up from his desk. He had been very much in the zone, so the interruption had him slightly befuddled. “Oh, YN? What are you doing here?”

“Do you mind if I chill in the lobby and charge my phone? I didn’t see Wren, they must be doing something else, but I didn’t want to just be like a loiterer without someone knowing,” you huffed.

“Yeah, I mean, but you didn’t answer my question. Are you okay?” he asked. You didn’t look completely upended, but you were a little frazzled.

“Oh, yeah I’m fine! I just got lost and my phone battery died so I couldn’t pull up a map,” you grumbled, shuffling back to the waiting area and setting your bag down. You rifled through briefly to pull out a charging cable. “I decided to bus and walk home after work, since I’m still trying to get the layout of the city, but I got super lost. I slightly recognized this neighborhood from when I drove in for the tattoo. So here I am!” you gestured as if to say ‘ta-da’.

“Ah, I see,” Cheol couldn’t help but laugh as he took a seat next to you in the lobby. “How is work going?”

“Pretty good! I’m picking up the quirks of the software that they use, but for the most part, the job is very similar to my old one and I’ll be good at it. I like my coworkers too, which is always good.”

“Good,” he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

“How was your day? Busy?” 

“It was okay,” he shrugged, “No tattoos today, I have Wednesdays set aside for bookkeeping, paperwork, and other businessy activities. Not my favorite, but gotta do it.”

“And how’s that?” you grinned at him, “If I remember right, you weren’t the most mathematically inclined.”

“You remember correctly,” Seungcheol grimaced.

“If you ever want help with the bookkeeping stuff, let me know. I can build a mean spreadsheet,” you offered. Despite not having been close with him in years, you felt invested in his success.

“Really?” he cocked his head at you, surprised.

“Of course! We were friendly before, right? We can be friends for real this time,” you scrunched your nose playfully at him. “Plus I definitely owe you for sending me Mingyu and Chan. Lifesavers, those two.”

“Yeah, they’re alright,” Seungcheol chuckled. “I might take you up on that spreadsheet thing, cause doing the math by hand is strange and unusual punishment.”

“Sounds good, just text me,” you nodded, eyes lighting up when your phone had charged enough to power itself back on.

“YN!” Wren called your name excitedly as they returned to the reception desk. “Sorry, I was taking inventory. What are you doing here?”

    Seungcheol returned to his office as you gave Wren the rundown of your unfortunate turn of events. You wanted to be friends this time around, huh? That could be alright.

…

“I’m starting to regret this whole ‘friends’ thing,” Seungcheol groaned as you dragged him towards the bar. The rest of the studio staff was already there, but he had taken his time closing up, hoping that Wren would’ve run out of patience and just left without him. In the past, this strategy had been successful, but that was before you were part of the equation. You had a longer attention span and just when Seungcheol thought he’d gotten away with it, you’d popped up at his side, asking him if he was ready to go.

“No take backs,” you teased, only releasing the grip on his sleeve after you’d pulled him full inside the establishment. “Wren! We’re here!”

“Finally! Did he do his usual thing of taking way too long?”

“Yes, you were right,” you laughed, hopping onto an empty barstool.

    Cheol narrowed his eyes at you. While he had grown to be able to handle Wren’s brand of shenanigans, he wasn’t sure how to feel about your powers combined. He watched you chat excitedly with Vernon about lizards or something before deciding that he needed a beer.

“Anyone else need drinks?” he asked, glancing across the table.

“If you’re buying, then yes!” Hoshi jumped up excitedly and appeared at Seungcheol’s side.

“YN, what do you want?” Wren tapped on your shoulder gently as they moved to order with Cheol.

“Oh, whiskey soda with a cherry?”

“What?!” Wren’s eyebrows pinched together, “Miss girl, this is a dive bar. Can you please 

order something normal?”

“Hah! Well then just get me a beer or something,” you shrugged, eager to get back to discussing the Galapagos marine iguana’s algae based diet with Vernon.

“What the hell are they even talking about?” Wren did a double take before their boss tugged them towards the bar.

“It’s better that you probably don’t ask,” he chuckled as he hailed the bartender.

“Hey what can I get you?”

    Wren rattled off the group’s order before looking back at you. “Shit, and some sort of beer,” their brow furrowed as they scanned through the options.

“You got cherries back there?” Seungcheol cut through Wren’s thinking.

“Yeah,” the bartender fixed him with a surprised look.

“Okay, then a whiskey soda with a splash of sour and a cherry. Nix that beer.”

“Weird, but sure,” the bartender laughed, moving to fill the order.

“I don’t think she asked for sour?” Wren asked Seungcheol.

“She always forgets to say it. She won’t like it without it,” he shrugged with a wry smile.

Wren watched their boss out of the corner of their eye. In the few weeks of knowing you, Wren had done a little bit of poking and was surprised that you and Seungcheol both independently maintained that nothing had ever happened or even threatened to happen between you two. In fact, you both had such a surprised reaction that made it seem like neither of you had even entertained the possibility. Yet, small things like this happened every so often and would surprise Wren anew that things were just platonic between you two.

“You got it all?” the bartender asked again, watching Cheol and Wren haphazardly gather up the six drinks between them.

“I think we’re good,” Wren finally nodded, leading the way back to the table. “Okay, so…,” they trailed off as they doled out the drinks around the table.

“Oh! I thought I was getting beer?” you were surprised when you received your drink.

“They had cherries,” was all Seungcheol offered up in explanation.

“Oh, well thanks!” you beamed at him before taking a sip.

“So what was the name of that documentary again?” Vernon asked, drawing your attention back, “I might just leave now to watch it,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled out his phone to make a note.

“Oh come on,” you chided him, “We just got here! I’ll give you the name of the documentary at the end of the night, as incentive,” you suggested.

“That’ll work,” he grumbled slightly, slipping his phone into his pocket and turning his attention back to the group’s conversation. Hoshi was regaling the group theatrically about something or the other.

    Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. He was surprised that you’d managed to convince Vernon to stay out. That was something that even he couldn’t pull off sometimes.

“So YN, are you liking your new job?” Hoshi asked after sharing his many personal thoughts and feelings about Tiger King.

“Yes!” you nodded, “I really like everyone at the practice! My trainer is super funny and nice and she said I’m basically ready to fly solo next week,” you grinned, a little nervous now that all eyes were on you.

“Remind me what you do again?” Joshua asked kindly. He was one of the piercers at the studio that you had probably spent the least amount of time with.

“I’m a vet tech! So, you know, helping with exams, running analyses, and giving vaccinations. That kind of thing.”

“Ah, so we have some things in common then,” Joshua quipped about the vaccinations.

“Hey if you’ve got a passion for stabbin’, might as well get paid for it,” you joked, prompting a chorus of laughs.

Eventually, the group broke off, some heading to the dance floor and others moving to play darts. You watched the game of darts until you were ready for a refill. As you waited for the bartender, you fished the cherry out from your melting ice cubes. It was the best part, after all.

“What’re you drinking there?” a voice to your right drew your attention.

“Hm,” you regarded the man with a suspicious glance, “I don’t think I'll tell you. You look like you’d tease me for it.”

“Oh? Well it’ll be tricky to buy you a drink, then,” he chuckled, a little taken aback by your response.

“I-,what?” you blurted out after processing his words.

“I’m Yejun,” he smiled at you, “Can I buy your next drink?”

“Hm, I suppose you can!” you chuckled. You observed his side profile as he flagged down the bartender. “So do you live here, Yejun?”

“I do,” he nodded, “Do you?”

“I do now,” you grinned, “I actually grew up around here and recently moved back for a job. Things are kind of the same, kind of different.”

“Oh really? How long has it been since you lived here? And what’s different?” he asked, smiling charmingly as he leaned against the bar, turning to face you fully.

    Seungcheol watched intently as you chatted with this man. His brow furrowed slightly trying to gauge whether he needed to intervene. For a while, your expression was wary, but eventually you broke out into a teasing smile and he could tell that the attention was welcome. You were more than capable of holding your own, Cheol knew that, and so he returned to watching darts.

    Wren was stumped as they watched Seungcheol watch you. For a moment he’d almost looked jealous, but that tension eventually dissipated and he returned to darts as if nothing had happened. When Wren looked at you again, you were happily chatting with a man at the bar, which was somehow even more confusing.

…

“Ah, I’m so glad you were free this weekend! You’ve been so wrapped up in Yejun that I feel like I barely see you anymore!” Wren tittered animatedly as they wrapped you up in a hug.

“Wren we hung out on Tuesday,” you laughed, shaking your head.

“Yes, and it’s been far too long between then and now. Speaking of, how are things going with Yejun? If he’s not treating you well, I will bring the boys to beat him up!” Wren threatened.

“There’s no need for that at all,” you shook your head vigorously, “Things are going good! I don’t know that I feel super…serious about him, but it’s been fun so far!”

“Hm. Well if you’d rather just date someone at the studio, I’d prefer that so I could see you all the time! I think Vernon is single, and you both love those damned lizards.”

“Hah! Iguanas,” you corrected them as you scanned down the list of cocktails. An aperol spritzer sounded good in the day’s warm weather. “No, I won’t date anyone at the studio. I don’t date friends, that’s a recipe for disaster.”

“You’re smarter than most,” Wren laughed. Couldn’t fault your logic.

“How are things with the boys? I feel like it’s been a bit since I’ve seen everyone. Anything interesting happen lately?”

“Oh, we might have a stray cat hanging around?” Wren clapped their hands together, “There’s a calico that showed up both yesterday and today.”

“Really? No collar or anything, I assume? Does it have a clipped ear? Is it friendly?”

“No, no, and yes,” Wren answered, “Should we do anything special for it?”

“Honestly, we should try and grab it so that we can take it to a vet to get it checked out. See if it’s microchipped. I can bring some stuff from the office and maybe let’s pick up some wet food after lunch? You can bring that to the studio.”

“Sounds good!” Wren nodded gamely. “Aside from that, nothing new at the studio. We’re a boring bunch these days.”

“You know honestly, that’s not a bad thing,” you smiled.

“We should go out for a happy hour sometime this week,” Wren suggested as your entrees arrived. “Maybe Thursday? You can bring Yejun!”

“Oh sure! Are we going to try and bring Seungcheol? Or not worth the fight?” you scrunched your nose up playfully.

“I mean, I always want the whole gang to be there. But might need your help again.”

“I can be on Coups duty,” you laughed, “It’s light work.”

“Alright, well if you’re in then I’m in,” Wren laughed. You did seem to have a way with Seungcheol that nobody else did.

    The rest of lunch was filled with odds and ends of conversation before you and Wren walked to the supermarket to pick up a few cans of wet cat food. Wren headed back to the studio and you drove to the veterinary office to pick up some supplies. A humane trap, a cat carrier, and a kitty straightjacket accompanied you back to the tattoo studio. 

“I’m here!” you announced as you brought the trap into the reception area.

“Um, what’s happening now?” Minghao, one of the other tattoo artists, looked on curiously as you fiddled with the gate of the humane trap.

“I told YN about our new friend! She’s going to help us trap it so we can take it to the vet.”

“Oh, I see,” Hao chuckled before returning to his room. Since you’d moved back home, you’d clearly established yourself as Wren’s new partner in crime. It was usually entertaining.

“Okay, I think I got it,” you nodded before grabbing a can of food and walking back outside to place the trap against the side of the building. You popped the can open and placed it at the back of the trap. “Now hopefully we catch the stray cat and not some other beastie,” you muttered to yourself as you walked back inside. Last time you’d set up a humane trap, you’d woken up to a livid raccoon instead of the stray you’d set out to capture.

“Hey Wren, can you order more of these supplies please?” Cheol dropped off a list at the receptionist desk, barely registering your presence. Between your help setting up his profit and loss statements and just general shenanigans with Wren, you’d become somewhat of a regular at the studio.

“Sir, yes sir!” Wren saluted playfully before waving you out the door. You had errands to run yet, but you let Wren know to call you if and when the stray showed back up.

…

“Oh my gosh, she is so so cute! I have named her Sausage Patty, we shall call her Patty and I love her very much,” you gushed over drinks. The studio had organized a staff outing again and Yejun had opted to join, so all of your people were in one place.

“You said this was a cat?” Yejun asked, “I thought your place didn’t allow pets?”

“It doesn’t,” you sighed, “But Cheol can keep her in until I can find a new place, right? It isn’t too terribly long before my lease is up,” you pleaded with him hopefully.

“Ah,” Yejun shifted uncomfortably, “I, um. We should talk later,” he ducked his head to whisper in your ear.

“Oh, okay?” you nodded at this ominous feeling request.

“So Yejun, tell us about yourself,” Wren prompted, eager to get to know the person you’d been dating. “YN has mentioned some things, but I’m nosy.”

    Yejun chuckled good naturedly and shared his age, where he had lived before here, and that he worked as a financial advisor at the local bank.

“Oh interesting, do you enjoy that?” Joshua asked, eyes dancing.

    Seungcheol fixed Joshua and Hoshi with a warning glance as Yejun answered Joshua’s query.  He could tell that the boys did not find Yejun particularly interesting, but they didn’t have to in order to be nice. You were the one dating him, after all.

“It’s alright,” Yejun shrugged, not picking up on Shua’s teasing. “There are things that I like and things that I don’t, but that’s any job, isn’t it?”

“Sure is!” Hoshi chimed in mischievously, “For example, Seungcheol is the thing that I don’t like most about my job.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cheol laughed, “If this is where the conversation is going, then I’m going to grab a beer,” he announced. Joshua took the opportunity to join him at the bar.

“My god, our YN is dating a banker? Where did we go wrong, Cheol?” Joshua bemoaned jokingly as he leaned against the bar.

“Joshua,” Cheol warned him, the slightest edge audible in his voice. “Be nice.”

“He’s so dull,” Joshua pressed on, “She can do better.”

“That’s not our business,” Seungcheol shrugged as he accepted a fresh beer from the bartender. “If you can’t be nice, then I suggest you stay away. YN will take it personally if you tell her you don’t like him. Just leave it.”

“Fine,” Joshua ran his tongue over his teeth with displeasure, “A banker of all things. Please.”

“You remember when you dated that flight attendant, right? We all kept it to ourselves until things ended. YN is our friend now, so you can do her the same courtesy.”

“I wish you’d given me your honest feedback then. That was a major waste of my time,” Joshua bristled as he recalled that toxic relationship.

    When they returned to the table they found that Hoshi had wandered off with Vernon to play darts and Wren was doing their best to hold the conversation with Yejun. There really wasn’t anything specifically wrong with Yejun, he just didn’t have much in common with any of them. Seungcheol briefly wondered what you two talked about, but it left his mind just as quickly.

“So what did you want to talk about earlier?” you asked Yejun hesitantly as he walked you to your door. There was a nip in the air and your cheeks were flushed pink as you looked up at him.

“Oh, yeah,” his expression filled with unease, “I guess I should let you know that I’m allergic to cats. It hadn’t really come up before, but it’s relevant now.”

“Oh,” your expression fell at this news. Somehow it was both a big deal and not a big deal. On the one hand, you were still in a very casual stage with Yejun and wouldn’t be able to live with Patty for a while even if you and Seungcheol did manage to work something out. But on the other hand, if this was a deal breaker, you wondered if you were just wasting your time. You loved animals and couldn’t envision a future without them. “Are you allergic to other animals too? Or just cats?”

“Mildly allergic to dogs, but my cat allergy is quite severe,” he answered apologetically.

“I see,” you nodded, “Well…I would say that since I’m still not sure I’ll be able to convince Seungcheol to keep Patty for me in the meantime and I’m at least five months out from being at the end of my lease, I’m not sure this needs to change anything between us? What do you think, though?”

“I agree,” Yejun smiled with a sense of relief.

“Great,” you grinned up at him. “Well, I’m home. Maybe we can do something next week?”

“That sounds great!” Yejun pulled you in for a quick peck before moving to drive himself home.

…

“Hello?” Seungcheol’s brows furrowed as he read the name on the incoming call. “YN? Are you okay?”

“Hey,” you sniffed, second guessing yourself. You briefly considered hanging up, but decided it would be helpful to have a sounding board. “Are you busy?”

“No, what’s up?” he shook his head, noting that you hadn’t answered his question.

“Can I swing by? I need some advice. Or maybe just to talk, I’m not sure,” you muttered, pressing your palm against your cheek.

“Yeah, of course,” Cheol nodded, “I’m home right now so come by whenever. Patty would like to see you too, I’m sure.”

“Okay, I’ll be over soon then,” you nodded forlornly before ending the call.

    You second guessed yourself the entire way over. Maybe this wasn’t a big enough deal to bother Seungcheol about. Maybe you should’ve called Wren instead. But you knew that Wren would not be impartial and you knew, in your gut, that if it wasn’t a big enough deal to bother Cheol about, then you wouldn’t have called him. Before you knew it, you were parked in front of Seungcheol’s place and you weren’t about to drive right back home.

    You walked up the steps and tried the doorknob. With all of the shared cat custody, he had gotten into the habit of leaving the front door unlocked when he knew you were on the way. Today was no different.

“I’m here,” you announced generally as you slipped off your shoes. Cheol appeared with a beer before you had gotten the second one off.

“You sounded like you needed a drink,” he smiled sympathetically at you.

“You know all about me nowadays, huh?” you laughed, taking the cold beverage from him.

“Little bit,” he grinned, “So what’s up?” he asked after you took a seat at his kitchen table. You gestured for him to sit down next to you before you answered.

“Yejun and I broke up…I guess? Is it even breaking up if you were just kind of dating?” you thought aloud. “Whatever you want to call it, we will no longer be a thing.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that,” Seungcheol’s expression creased with worry. “Do you want to talk about what happened? Or what’s helpful?”

“I’m not too torn up about what happened,” you thought for a moment, trying to identify your feelings, “But I am sad. But I don’t feel like I should be sad because it wasn’t that serious? Also he was allergic to cats so was it gonna work out anyways?” you were surprised when you felt the tears pricking at your eyes. You had done such a good job of keeping it together all week, but now talking about it in such clarity really broke something free inside of you and suddenly you were crying.

    Seungcheol froze. He had never seen you cry before and he was at a loss about what to do. He wanted to be supportive, but didn’t really know what that should look like for you. Did you want a hug? Did you hate hugs? It frustrated him deeply that he didn’t already know the answer.

“What would be helpful right now?” he found himself asking.

“It’s silly, but I could use a hug,” you sighed, almost rolling your eyes at yourself. You’d never really been one for physical affection, but the thought of being wrapped up in Cheol’s arms seemed comforting in a way that you needed desperately right now.

    He moved immediately, standing over you with his arms outstretched. You stood up to fit yourself into him and his arms folded around you without thought. You were surprised at how natural it felt. You allowed yourself a few more sobs into his chest before letting yourself just feel warm and secure in his hold.

    Seungcheol experienced the whole gamut of human emotion as he held you. Anger at Yejun for causing you to feel this way. Empathetic sadness. Relief when your crying stopped. And…pride at the feeling of being able to provide you comfort. It was very different and new to Seungcheol to see you in this emotionally vulnerable state, but not unpleasant by any measure.

“Okay, I feel better,” you chuckled sheepishly, pulling away from Cheol and wiping at your cheeks. “I should go home and get some sleep.”

“Okay,” he nodded at you, surprised at the instinct he felt to pull you back in.

“Thanks Cheol. Seriously.”

…

“I think I’m getting cold feet,” Seungcheol grimaced after seeing you mix up the bleach in a somewhat alarming way.

“No, no take backs!” you frowned, turning your foil-covered head towards him.

    Several days ago, you had bought the largest containers of bleach powder and developer that they sold at the beauty supply store. You kept saying that you weren’t torn up over Yejun, but you figured why not allow yourself to partake in some of the traditional post-break up rituals? An entirely new haircut didn’t appeal to you, but adding some vivid color did seem fun. You weren’t totally sure how Seungcheol had caught wind of this undertaking, but when he’d thought out loud about going blonde again, Wren had been insistent. Whether it turned out looking good or his hair fell off, it didn’t matter too much to Wren. Both outcomes were equally pleasing.

“I-,” he grimaced, “If I end up having to buzz my head, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Cheol, relax,” you tried to reassure him, “I have done this before. Now just sit still.”

    Seungcheol sucked on his teeth before acquiescing and sitting down on the stool in front of you, allowing you to get started. You grinned happily as you ran your fingers through his hair, sectioning them off and applying the bleach to the foils. The way he enjoyed feeling your hands running through his hair was a little surprising to him, but soon he found himself just watching you and smiling at the way you smiled.

“Are you excited to be blonde again?” you asked around three quarters of the way through. “Was the last time in high school?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Cheol thought for a moment, “Didn’t you help me and Jihun that time too?”

“Probably? Like your guys’ senior year?”

“Yes,” he smiled, “That was a good look, if I do say so myself.”

“I agree,” you nodded as you grabbed a spare grocery bag to pop over his completely foiled head. “Okay, now we can let that process for 30 minutes. It should start to feel warm, mine kind of does already,” you touched your own foils gingerly.

“Okay, you wanna watch something while we wait?” he shrugged, flipping on the television.

“Sure,” you nodded, sitting down on the couch. You giggled happily when Patty hopped onto your lap and you scratched her under the chin.

“She loves you,” he chuckled, watching you interact with the cat.

“She loves you too!” you insisted, “Go see your dad,” you whispered at her playfully, which she ignored.

“No, she’s your cat and your cat alone. I’m just her landlord,” Seungcheol chuckled, unable to keep himself from thinking about the implication of ‘dad’.

“Okay, time to check!” you jumped up when the timer sounded. “Let me check mine first and then I’ll check yours,” you announced as you moved to the bathroom mirror.

“How’s it lookin’?” Cheol asked, leaning against the door jamb.

“I think a little longer, I’ll check again in fifteen. Now come here,” you beckoned him over. He moved to face you and spread his feet apart until you could see the top of his head. You peeled back a few foils and were surprised to see that it had lightened sufficiently. Lucky bastard. “I think you’re good to go, Seungcheol! You can rinse that bleach out and then I’ll tone you.”

“Word,” he nodded, helping you remove the rest of the foils and tuck them into garbage. You massaged your fingers through his hair, evaluating the rest of the strands before confirming he was ready to rinse. Without a word, he tugged his shirt up over his head before moving to grab the shower head.

“What are you doing?!” you almost shouted, alarmed by the shedding of clothes.

“I don’t want to get my shirt wet,” he shrugged, somehow pleased at the way you jumped.

“Let me get out of the bathroom first,” you grumbled, flushed in the cheeks as you made your way back into the living room.

“Okay, I’m done. You wanna check your foils again?” he emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel.

“Yes,” you nodded, trying to look anywhere but at him as he had not put the shirt back on.

After you had also rinsed the bleach out from your ends, you started mixing up toner and color. For a second time, you were applying and massaging solution into his hair.

“This feels nice,” Cheol remarked with his eyes closed, enjoying your touch.

“Does it?” your eyebrows raised, trying to stay composed. You didn’t need to look at his bare chest. You didn’t. “I guess that makes sense, like a scalp massage, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, eyes slowly opening again to meet your gaze through the mirror. His lips had curled into a half smile and the way he looked at you made your heart stop for a moment.

“Okay, go pop another bag on your head and let that process for 20-ish minutes?” you glanced away, clearing your throat needlessly. As Seungcheol flopped onto the couch, you applied the tanzanite hair dye to your bleached ends, doing your best to avoid staining his bathroom permanently.

“Okay, my timer’s up!” Cheol announced as he burst into the bathroom again unceremoniously. Apparently you’d zoned out after applying the purple dye and you jumped at his intrusion. “Scoot,” he grabbed you at the waist and relocated you easily. He grabbed the showerhead and leaned over the tub, rinsing the silver toner out of his hair. You intended to leave, you wanted to leave, but when it came down to it you couldn’t do anything but stare at his broad back, mind frazzled at the way he had lifted you up so easily.

“Damn,” Seungcheol whistled appreciatively, regarding himself in the mirror, “This looks good!”

“You’re welcome,” you nodded surely at him, “And you doubted me.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry, you killed it,” Cheol grinned at you. Without thinking it through, he pulled you into his chest and gave you a squeeze.

“Cheol, dye!” you panicked, pushing him away. “See, now you’re purple,” you frowned, looking at the splotch of purple on his chest that had transferred from your hair. Without thought, you swiped at it with your fingers, hoping to wipe it off before it stained too badly. It took a few passes, but eventually you gathered it all and rinsed it down the sink drain.

“Thanks,” Seungcheol coughed, nerves alight at the friction of your fingertips woefully close to his nipple. A quick shudder ran through him before he could gather his thoughts and compose himself.

“Okay, now get out, I’m going to rinse out my color. Mine’s gonna be messy, so I’m just gonna take an actual shower,” you shooed him out insistently.

    After you closed and locked the door for good measure, you let out a sigh. What had you been thinking, touching his bare chest like that? You must be out of your mind. Jumping into the shower, you let the water wash the dye from your hair and the thoughts from your mind.

    Seungcheol ruminated while you showered. He had already acknowledged that something in him had shifted after you’d visited him last week. You had always just been Jihun’s sister and that hadn’t really changed much since you’d moved back. However, seeing you in that emotionally vulnerable state last week had started to chip away at the way he thought of you.

“Whew, okay, the ordeal is done!” you laughed as you emerged from the bathroom pointing at the towel wrapped around your head. “I picked a darker one, but I can’t promise that the purple is gonna wash out,” you chuckled sheepishly, skin pink and glowing from the shower.

“I’m not worried about that,” Cheol shrugged, “Now take a rest, stylist,” he teased, patting the couch cushion next to him. Patty chirped in protest at the noisy impact, but settled back into his lap eventually as you finished the show you had started earlier.

…

“Cheol, Cheol!” Wren beckoned Seungcheol as he was walking through the hallway towards the stockroom.

“What?”

“What do you think about starting a Tiktok account for the studio? People seem to really like them, it could help us drum up some business!”

“I don’t know…,” he rubbed his chin contemplatively, “Are you going to run it? I want no part of it, to be honest.”

“Yes, I will!” Wren nodded furiously, “This looks way more fun and I could definitely do it between my normal job responsibilities.”

“I-, okay. But people have to agree to be in your videos, okay? None of this sneaky filming business,” Seungcheol furrowed his brows at them before returning to his office.

    To Seungcheol’s surprise, Wren really took initiative of the social media management and within a month or so, had amassed a significant number of followers. Wren was always on their phone anyways, and so kept on top of the latest trends and viral sounds. Seungcheol was also surprised at the ways in which the internet seemed to love their ragtag group. Folks found Joshua to be painfully handsome, Vernon and Hoshi to be side bustingly funny, and Wren to be endearing. You had even featured in a handful of videos when you’d happened to be at the studio and commenters the entire week afterwards playfully demanded ‘more YN content’.

“Cheol, have you reconsidered showing your face on Tiktok?” you asked after watching a ‘the art versus the artist’ tiktok.

“No,” he shook his head firmly.

“Aw man, this would’ve been a good video too!” you pouted, turning your phone to show Wren.

“Oh damn it, yeah it would be!” they shouted woefully.

“What is it?” Coups asked, feigning indifference.

“Okay, so the concept is showing art and then the artist that made it. Cheol you’re so talented, I feel like this is such a nice way to showcase your work!” you pleaded with him, though you were not particularly hopeful. When he didn’t reject you outright, you offered him your phone to show an example.

“Hm,” the corner of his lip pulled back as he contemplated. Your heart rose hopefully in your chest, was he genuinely considering this?

“YN can be in the video too! She’s a good example of healed work!” Wren clapped excitedly at the prospect. “We can start the video zoomed in on her thigh tattoo and then zoom out to show you!”

    Seungcheol raised his eyebrows at you in an unspoken question. It seemed that he was in if you were too. Holding back an ecstatic squeal, you nodded, over the moon at finally getting Cheol to agree to be in a Tiktok.

    The first section went smoothly. Wren positioned you in front of the studio window for flattering lighting and then zoomed in on your thigh. The second part where they would zoom out to a video of Seungcheol was not as seamless. First they wanted to try a solo shot, which didn’t pass muster. Then you tried posing next to Cheol, which Wren deemed ‘too stiff’. Finally, they took over full creative control and positioned Seungcheol behind you with his face above your shoulder. After a few more failed takes, he didn’t even register it when he leaned forward to mumble idle threats into your ear. Something about ‘never should have agreed to this’ and ‘I don’t know that we need a receptionist anyways’, which made you chuckle.

    Wren stilled in the midst of filming. Their gaze moved from the screen and lifted over the phone to observe you directly. The sight of Seungcheol with his face tucked into your neck and making you laugh was so tender it made Wren want to scream at the both of you.

“You got it?” Seungcheol looked up suddenly.

“I mean…I got something,” Wren replied, bemused.

…

    You were excited. Jihun was coming home for Thanksgiving! By your math, it had been well over a year since you’d last seen him, so your parents were going all out. They’d invited all of your friends, but Seungcheol had been the only one to take them up on the offer. It was going to be nostalgic, the five of you together, but holidays were all about nostalgia, right? You’d spent the day with your parents, helping them prepare the house and meals. Seungcheol had been assigned to pick up Jihun from the airport when his flight arrived that afternoon, so you were surprised when you heard a knock on the door a little after noon.

“Oh, who-?” your mom wondered as she opened the door, “Seungcheol, darling, you’re early!”

“I know, but I thought I’d come see if I could help with anything until then,” he shrugged, stepping into the threshold.

    From the kitchen, you did a double take. Seungcheol was wearing an unbuttoned button down with a matching t-shirt underneath and accessorized with a medium weight chain necklace. He looked nice, which made you momentarily self conscious that you were still wearing chores clothes. You threw him a quick smile before returning to finish washing the sheet pans that were no longer needed.

“Can I help?” he offered.

“You wanna dry?” you suggested, pointing out a dry towel. He nodded and settled in next to you, drying off anything you handed to him. “What time does Jihun’s flight get in again?”

“Three, so I’ll probably leave around two. There’s probably airport traffic today.”

    You nodded as you finished up the dishes and set the gloves aside to dry.

“Mom, what else can I help with?” Seungcheol had already wandered off in search of your mother.

    You rolled your eyes. He had called your mom ‘Mom’ since you were kids. The first time had been an accident and you had replied ‘No, she’s my mom!’ quite indignantly. Your mom had chuckled and patted young Seungcheol on the head, reassuring him. At first he continued to call her ‘Mom’ mostly to irritate you, but over time, it sort of just became reality. Seungcheol was over at your house so much that he really did feel like family at times.

“You’re so thoughtful, Cheol,” your mom beamed up at him, “You can come help Dad and I wrap dumplings if you like.”

“Sure,” he nodded, hip checking you away from the kitchen sink so he could wash his hands. You huffed indignantly as you took your seat at the dumpling table as well.

“So Seungcheol,” your dad cleared his throat, “How are things at the shop?”

“Good! Not much has changed since you were last there,” he cocked his head thoughtfully.

“You’ve been to the studio?” you queried, confused at the idea of it.

“Yes, of course! We had to congratulate him once we heard he was taking it over. I’m not sure we’re tattoo people, still, but our Cheol is a business owner now!” your dad laughed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s still a small town, YN,” Seungcheol chuckled, “Not much happens without everyone knowing about it.”

“That’s true,” your mom nodded. For example, she had heard through the grapevine that you often hung out with Seungcheol and his staff at Anne Kim’s bar. Apparently quite an edgy group of youngsters. The Kim’s had long ago given up running the establishment themselves, but it was a good source of passive income and town information.

“That’s so funny, I can’t imagine you there!” you giggled.

“They brought me a cake and everything,” Cheol chuckled, recalling that day fondly. It had taken some explaining to get everyone to understand that they were not, in fact, Seungcheol’s own parents and the cake had done a good job of quieting them all down.

“That’s so cute,” you gushed.

    When you’d been younger, it had sometimes bothered you how easy it was for your mom to love your friends in what felt like the same way that she loved you. Now that you were older, you could appreciate her capacity to love in a different way.

“I should go get Jihun,” Seungcheol announced, placing one more lopsided dumpling onto the tray before standing up.

“Drive safe!”

“Will do,” Seungcheol smiled at your mother, disarmingly charming.

“What a good boy,” she preened happily as you finished wrapping up the dumpling filling. “Have you hung out with Seungcheol much since you’ve moved back?” she asked, even though she knew the answer already.

“Occasionally,” you shrugged, but as you did the math you realized that you’d probably seen him more than anyone else in recent days. “I’ve probably hung out with his receptionist, Wren, more though. They’re nice!”

“Oh, Wren! Yes, I remember from the studio. They’re just cute as a button, aren’t they?” your mom chirped. So you weren’t willing to admit that you were closer with Seungcheol than you’d ever been before. That was okay.

“Yes, they really wanted to come for Thanksgiving too, but they decided to go to their partner’s family’s instead.”

“Well, you know you don’t need an excuse to bring them around. Our house is always open. You too,” she gave you a pointed look. You grinned sheepishly. You knew they always wanted you to visit more.

“I’ll bring them around!” you nodded affirmatively.

“In fact, the rest of the shop can come too! They’ll keep us young,” your dad added suddenly. Your dad had always been quieter than your mom, but every so often he said something that left you absolutely slack jawed. This was one of those times.

“I’ll let them know,” you shook your head with a chuckle. “I’m going to go shower and change now.”

    Your parents waved you off goodnaturedly and you retreated to your childhood bedroom. Everything you needed was in your duffel bag, but you couldn’t help from getting distracted by all of the stuff that your mom had kept exactly the same. Filled with nostalgia, your fingertips skimmed across the figurines, books, and other memorabilia. Your diary caught your eye and you pulled it out by the spine, curious to read some of your old thoughts. It was all cringey as hell, but it made you laugh as you thumbed through. As you reached the end, something fell out from the pages which surprised you. A polaroid of Seungcheol from the night you had told Wren about many months ago at this point. It was from the night before he and Jihun had left for college and the last time you remembered him being blonde prior to this most recent bleach job. You smiled softly as you peered at it in disbelief. Seungcheol looked the same, but different. His roots were a touch more grown out than they were right now and he was wearing that dog tag necklace that he had felt was so cool back then. What a handsome doofus.

“Woof, nostalgia is one hell of a bitch,” you muttered under your breath, surprised at your own reaction.

    Shoving your thoughts aside, you jumped into the shower and focused on getting ready. The warm water soothed you infinitely and you hummed contentedly to yourself as you finished getting ready. You changed into a cute yet comfortable outfit and headed down the stairs to join your parents. You were in the middle of contemplating a cookie when the front door opened dramatically.

“I’m home!” Jihun announced excitedly as he entered the house. To your surprise, not one but two figures followed him inside.

“Jihun-a!” your mom cooed excitedly as she moved towards the door. “Oh who’s this?”

“Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend Hyejin!”

“Oh my goodness, what a surprise!” your mom tittered excitedly. “Why didn’t you tell me so I could have prepared?”

“Mom, you’re always prepared anyways! I wanted to surprise you,” Jihun shook his head.

    Your parents tsked appropriately at Jihun while ushering Hyejin inside. As they tittered over her, you threw a look at Seungcheol.

“Surprise!” he wiggled his hands weakly, which made you burst out laughing. You rolled your eyes before joining the family in the living room.

“Hyejin, this is my sister, YN,” Jihun gestured towards you as you entered.

“Hi,” you grinned excitedly at Hyejin. “I’m very excited to share with you all of Jihun’s most embarrassing stories!” you shook her hand with a little too much vigor for your brother’s tastes.

“I’m so excited to meet you all!” Hyejin smiled. She was so pretty!

“Genuinely, you’re so pretty, what the hell are you doing with Jihun?” you couldn’t help but ask mischievously.

“YN,” Seungcheol furrowed his brow, “Easy.”

“You’re right, I’ll let you settle in. I’ll ask later,” you whispered surreptitiously to her, drawing a small chuckle. Instead you joined Seungcheol as your parents lightly grilled Hyejin and Jihun about their relationship. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell any of us,” you mumbled at Cheol. “Did he share much on the drive with you?”

“No, not much,” he shook his head. “I was surprised too, I haven’t seen her on his socials or anything. Must be recent?”

“Hm,” you shrugged.

    Seungcheol watched you as you looked on with interest. You looked really cute in your holiday cardigan. You could feel Seungcheol’s gaze on you. You kept your eyes facing forward, but you couldn’t help a light shiver before you decided it was time to rejoin the fray. Seungcheol looked on from the kitchen, allowing you this familial moment. Dinner passed quickly, everyone enjoying the opportunity to catch up with or get to know each other. You found that you were a big fan of Hyejin. She was funny, clever, and so easy to talk to. Seungcheol and Jihun caught up easily, like old times. Your parents looked on happily at their lovely little family.

“Okay, time for a movie!” your mom announced once everyone had finished eating.

“Movie?” Hyejin wondered and the rest of you stood.

“Family tradition, movie theater after an early dinner,” Cheol answered with a smile. “Are we playing for right to choose? Or perhaps because we have a guest…?” he gestured to Hyejin.

“Oh I think guest chooses,” you nodded supportively.

“Really?” Hyejin was surprised. “Okay, let me see what’s showing,” she laughed, pulling out her phone.

“Ooh I'm excited, good choice again Hyejin!” you bounced on the balls of your feet as you waited in line for concessions.

“Behave,” Seungcheol grabbed you by the shoulders, pinning you in place. 

    A jolt of heat darted through your chest at his grip. You suddenly flashed back to the day of your tattoo. This was a very similar feeling to when Seungcheol had grasped your upper thigh and murmured ‘good girl’ to you, effectively knocking the wind from your lungs. You stilled, unable to face him.

“Good girl,” he went on to commend you thoughtlessly as he perused snack options.

    You blinked. A sharp exhale left your lungs as you struggled with the effect this was having on you. You wanted to punch Seungcheol, how could he be so careless with his words!

“Popcorn,” you answered the teenager when you got to the front of the line.

“What size?”

“Large,” you answered. You had saved room.

“Should we just share a bucket?” Cheol suggested.

“No! Get your own popcorn,” you scrunched your face at him. The possibility of accidentally brushing hands with him was too much to consider right now.

“Okay, damn,” he chuckled bemusedly as he went to order his own popcorn.

    You knew you were acting odd, but you couldn’t help yourself. In an effort to distance yourself from Seungcheol, you wandered towards Jihun and Hyejin, eavesdropping on their conversation. They were discussing something boring so you wandered towards your parents instead.

“YN-ah,” they beckoned you towards them. “How are things since moving back? I know it was always a little small for you here,” your mom asked genuinely.

“You know,” you thought for a moment, wanting to answer honestly, “I was worried I wouldn’t be happy moving back…but I’ve made some good friends and I’m actually pretty happy!”

“That’s great,” your dad smiled at you.

    Your mom studied your expression closely, but you didn’t give much away. She was curious whether your contentment was tied to Seungcheol as much as she hoped it would be. Your parents had always been big fans of Cheol throughout childhood. Part of it was proximity, of course, as Seungcheol had been at the house almost constantly throughout middle and high school. But the other part of it was that they saw the ways in which Seungcheol complimented both you and Jihun. Seungcheol had always had a calm energy and presence that didn’t hinder you from being yourself, but also tempered your personality when occasionally necessary.

“Movie time!” your parents announced, ushering everyone towards theater six. As everyone paired off, you found yourself sitting next to Seungcheol.

“We should’ve just shared a popcorn, we paid basically double to have the same amount in separate bags,” he pouted at you.

“I want to have my own bag, leave me alone!”  you whisper shouted at him, scrunching your face at him in the dark.

    Hyejin giggled as she watched you and Seungcheol with fascination. Jihun had mentioned that you all had been childhood friends, but not that you two were dating. She wondered how long it’d been since you and Seungcheol had gotten together and whether Jihun even knew. She’d have to ask after the movie was over.

“That was good,” you nodded surely as everyone piled into the car. “I was especially a fan of the scenes where the fruit and vegetable carts were upturned. Love me a good ‘my cabbages’ moment!”

“Me too!” Hyejin giggled

    The ride back was filled with excited discussion, laughter, and some good natured teasing. Your parents helped themselves to a slice of apple pie and let you all know you were welcome to the leftovers if you got peckish before they retired to bed. Eventually Jihun and Seungcheol wandered off to look at something in the basement, which allowed you to visit with Hyejin more.

“So how long have you and Seungcheol been dating?” she asked.

“W-what?” you sputtered. “Me and Cheol? No, we’re not!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Are you really not?” she flushed, “You two seem so close!”

“No, no, don’t be sorry!” you leaned towards her, not wanting her to feel embarrassed, “We are close! But we’ve known each other for years,” you tried to explain.

“That really surprises me. You two seem very much in step with each other,” she mused. She had literally watched him eat the chestnuts that you’d pulled out of your stuffing and set on a side plate.

“I-, I mean I guess we are closer than before these days. I moved back to town a few months ago and Seungcheol is probably one of my closest friends right now,” you thought out loud. You weren’t sure whether it was just the longevity of the relationship, but there was a deep comfort that you had with Seungcheol that just couldn’t be beat.

“Ah, I see,” Hyejin nodded, tipping the rest of her wine back.

“Do you want another drink? Or maybe we can go bother the boys?”

“Why not both?” she laughed, so you led the way.

“Oy, degenerates! What are you doing down here? Smoking weed?” you teased as you bounced down the stairs.

“I mean we could be,” Jihun’s voice called back.

“Holding out on us,” you rolled your eyes playfully at Hyejin as you rounded the corner.

“Hey,” Hyejin grinned, looping an arm around Jihun’s waist and squeezing affectionately.

“Yo,” you punched Seungcheol awkwardly in the shoulder before flopping onto the futon next to him. “It’s been a damn minute since we were all down here, huh!”

“Yes it has,” Cheol’s eyebrows raised dramatically as he considered the length of time. “Probably haven’t been back since before college started.”

    Jihun nodded in agreement and they both took turns sharing fun stories with Hyejin until your eyes started drifting shut. These beers really took a toll on you these days.

“Hey, YN,” Seungcheol’s voice and shoulder nudged you awake.

“Hm?” you murmured.

“You should go to bed,” he suggested.

“No, I’m fine! I’m just resting my eyes,” you protested, struggling to keep the aforementioned eyes open.

“Oh not this again,” Seungcheol shook his head. He had fallen for the ‘resting my eyes’ line a grand total of twice before he’d learned his lesson. That just meant you had already dozed off and were going to fall asleep again shortly. “YN, if you don’t go to bed now, I’m going to carry you up.”

“Do it, you won’t,” you goaded him sleepily. You managed half a yawn before he had hucked you over his shoulder and carried you up the stairs.

Jihun had been scrolling through his phone, and so looked up with slight confusion to see Hyejin grinning knowingly.

    Seungcheol dumped you onto your bed as gently as he could manage, but you still landed with a loud ‘oof’. He scoffed as you curled into your pillows and comforter like a caterpillar into a cocoon. Why couldn’t you just admit you were tired like a normal person?

…

    A few weeks after Thanksgiving, you were at Seungcheol’s again spending quality time with Patty when Jihun Facetimed him unexpectedly. Patty was sitting on your chest on the couch when Seungcheol picked up.

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“Not much, I was just calling to check in. Thanksgiving made me realize that I’ve done a shit job of keeping up with you so I want to change that!”

“Oh, for sure,” Cheol laughed, a little surprised. “Oh, YN is here too!” he directed the phone to you and Patty. You waved from underneath her.

“Oh, YN is there?” you heard Hyejin’s voice in the background. “That reminds me, I’m gonna to text her!”

[hyejin]: ‘hey, I saw an ad for this yesterday and it made me think of you!’

    You squealed in excitement at the attached screenshot she sent of a frog stun gun. It even had a little butt on the back! Patty jumped off of your chest in protest of your loud noise, but your excitement was difficult to contain.

[yn]: ‘OMFG. THNEED’

[hyejin]: ‘right?!? when they do their next shop update, i’m ordering for both of us!’

“Coups, look!” you hopped off of the couch excitedly to show Seungcheol, completely derailing his conversation with Jihun. “It’s a frog. And a self defense stun gun. And it has a butt!” you flipped through the pictures excitedly. Seungcheol nodded good naturedly at you before returning to his discussion with Jihun. 

“I didn’t know you had a cat,” your brother's voice floated across the room. Seungcheol explained the situation, to which Hyejin sent you a slew of texts rapidly.

[hyejin]: ‘are you sure you’re not dating seungcheol?!?’

[hyejin]: ‘you can tell me if you are. i wont tell jihun!’ 

[hyejin]: ‘im cool!’

[yn]: ‘im not!’

You furrowed your brows slightly. You and Hyejin had kept in touch since Thanksgiving and she had taken to fussing over you like an older sister. For the most part you loved it, but this probing about Cheol made you feel…confused. It wasn’t the first time that people had mistaken you as a couple and you almost understood why. No, the thing that was difficult to contend with was the fact that you…didn’t hate it?

[hyejin]: ‘okay 👀 im just sayin not many people would let a cat live at their house just for a friend’

[hyejin]: ‘but maybe im wrong!’

You sat up and watched Seungcheol over the back of the sofa as he chatted with Jihun. You didn’t bother to process what they were saying, but you watched the way the corner of his lips lifted into a half side, revealing one of his dimples. You’d seen his dimples a million and one times before, but this time it felt like your heart shot up into your throat, clogging it. It didn’t seem to matter how many times you tried to clear it either, that bitch was stuck. Seungcheol threw you a ‘you good?’ glance before returning his attention to your brother. There was nothing remarkable about it. There was no reason it should make you nervous. And yet, the slight pinch between his brows and the clear concern in his eyes made you squirm.

“I gotta go!” you announced to Seungcheol and Jihun, waving casually at them before pulling on your shoes. Patty gave you a departing headbutt and you were out the door.

“I thought she didn’t have plans today,” Seungcheol’s expression was clearly confused after you left.

While you drove home with all of the windows rolled down in an effort to regain composure, Seungcheol tied up his conversation with Jihun. The house felt quite empty now that he wasn’t on a call and you were also gone. It was a surprising thought for him to have, since he’d long ago gotten accustomed to being alone and in fact quite liked it. But he’d be an idiot to ignore the fact that his life had changed dimensionally since you’d come back into it.

You’d coaxed him into a closer friendship with his staff members, gifted him the furry little gremlin that he now looked forward to coming home to, and you yourself had become someone that he thought of often and cared for deeply. He’d been unsure whether it was the same kind of proximity based fondness that you had shared before, but upon further consideration, he concluded that this was not the case. These days he didn’t just tolerate you. He sought you out. He wanted to fill his time with you. He wondered if you felt the same.

…

[wren]: ‘come on, please?!’

[yn]: ‘i’m tired 😩’

    You frowned at your phone. You weren’t actually so tired that you didn’t want to go out, but you felt a sort of reluctance to go because you’d been avoiding seeing Seungcheol. It had taken some time to sort through your feelings, but you’d finally accepted that you were struggling with an attraction to him that you needed to get over. You were sure you could, you just needed time.

    Seungcheol ran his hands through his hair as he finished up his profit and loss statements for the month. It had been a good month. In fact, an extraordinarily good month, which also meant that there were many more transactions to account for. In the past, he probably would’ve rather walked off of a bridge than do his P&Ls, but the spreadsheets that you’d help build for him were a genuine lifesaver. You’d even helped with figuring out how to automate data downloads from the PoS system which saved him and Wren a huge amount of headache. He really needed to treat you to dinner or something as a thank you.

[seungcheol]: ‘when are you free?’

    You stared at your phone. What the hell was in the water today? Your heart had jumped when you’d seen Seungcheol’s text. You were of two minds: one wanted to read and respond to it immediately while the other wanted to throw the phone into a garbage chute. As usual, you let both sides percolate before reaching a happy compromise. You read the text but didn’t respond until later.

[yn]: ‘kind of depends. what for?’

[seungcheol]: ‘i want to take you out.’

[seungcheol]: ‘as a thank you for the p&l spreadsheets’

    Your hopes rose and fell just as quickly as you read the texts in sequence. It was a professional matter.

[yn]: ‘that’s not necessary! friends help each other’

    His brow scrunched upon reading the word ‘friend’. It sent such a pang through his chest that he wasn’t expecting, but he felt persistent today.

[seungcheol]: ‘i dont see why that should stop me from showing you that i appreciate you. let me know when you’re free for dinner’

Your heart flip flopped in your chest. How could you get through a dinner with him when just a text affected you like this? And yet you had no valid reason to say no.

…

    You tapped your toe nervously as you waited for Seungcheol. You had decided on Friday after work and he had insisted on driving you, because he had wanted to keep the restaurant a surprise. So here you were, 6:12 pm on Friday and incredibly, unreasonably nervous about dinner. You wondered if you could still cancel.

[seungcheol]: ‘here’

“So much for that,” you muttered to yourself before stepping out of your apartment. The only indication of dress code that Cheol had given you was ‘don’t look like a hobo’, so you’d chosen a simple black dress with a colorful and fun cardigan. There was a slight chill in the air, so you pulled the cardigan a little tighter around yourself as you climbed into his car.

“Hey,” he broke into a smile as soon as he saw you. “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” you replied as you buckled your seatbelt. You gave him a quick once over as he backed out of the parking space. He was dressed in all black and the visual focal point was a half-pearl, half-chain choker necklace that really stood out. “Oh I like that!”

“I thought you might,” he grinned at you as he leaned back, settling into his seat after getting onto the highway. “It seems your kind of style,” he explained when your brows furrowed.

“Ah,” you nodded, not quite sure what to say. “So where are we eating, will you tell me now?”

“Yes. We’re going to Kyōten, in the city.”

“What?!” you glanced at him, slightly alarmed, “That’s kind of a haul!”

“It’s not too bad. Plus our reservation is at 7:30. I budgeted enough time.”

“Still, you don’t have to drive that far! We could’ve eaten somewhere in town,” you grumbled.

“I’ve been wanting to try this place too. Not everything’s about you, baby,” he teased. This was true in part. Seungcheol was interested in the omakase menu at this restaurant, but he likely wouldn’t have gone by himself. “How’s work been, by the way? I feel like I haven’t seen you around much lately.”

    You flushed at the moniker ‘baby’ before pushing through it to answer him. It was true, you’d been working a handful of extra shifts at work here and there in preparation for the holiday season. But you’d also been making yourself scarce because you still couldn’t control the physical reaction that you sometimes had to Seungcheol. You omitted that part in your answer, but did share a handful of funny stories that had happened at work lately. Seungcheol, in turn, updated you on some of the interesting happenings at the studio as of late. Hoshi had finally been able to do the largest tiger flash that he had available, which had been incredibly exciting to him. Joshua had attended the annual APP conference and made a lot of good contacts. The studio was working out details on a guest piercer spot in the near future. Before you knew it, you had pulled into the parking ramp near the restaurant.

“Oh it’s windy!” you remarked as you stepped out of the car.

“Here,” Seungcheol pulled a spare puffer jacket out of his backseat and handed it to you. You’d wrapped it around yourself gratefully as you completed the short walk to Kyōten.

“We have a reservation for 7:30. Seungcheol,” he informed the hostess. She nodded kindly and led you through the dark space towards the sushi bar. You remarked at the beautiful architecture and decor as you hopped onto the bar stool. “I’ll just stand, if that’s okay?” he asked the hostess, tucking his stool slightly to his left under the bar.

“Have you all done this before?” you asked the people sitting next to you as you waited.

“No, we haven’t!” they shook their heads, “Have you?”

“Oh thank god! No, I definitely haven’t. You haven’t either, right?” you asked Seungcheol, realizing you didn’t know.

“No,” he shook his head.

“Don’t be nervous! Just eat what they give you,” the couple on the other side of the bar from you smiled kindly. “The chefs here are great, they’re very interactive and fun. Just have a good time.”

    Reassured now that the ice was broken, the six of you chatted before the chef came. The pair next to you shared that they were celebrating their second anniversary. They had also driven in and were staying for a long weekend in the city.

“That’s so fun, I love that! We’re just here for the night,” you smiled at them, the sake warming you from the inside out.

“What about you two? Is this a special occasion?”

“Sort of,” Seungcheol answered, draping his arm across the back of your stool as he did so. “It’s a thank you dinner for YN. She’s been a huge help with my business this year, so I thought I ought to show her my appreciation properly.”

“What do you do?” Miseon asked curiously.

“I run a tattoo and piercing studio,” he answered.

    As he explained in more detail, you felt like your back was itching, the way you were hyper aware of his arm draped behind you. Seungcheol had gotten closer and closer to you as he’d engaged in the conversation with Miseon and Nuri. It wasn’t like you weren’t used to physical closeness with him, but the interior of this restaurant was so intimately lit that it tricked you into overthinking the whole situation. Even after the chef arrived and dinner commenced, he didn’t distance himself from you at all.

“Would you like to join us for a few drinks? We’re having such fun with you!” Nuri asked once you were all back on the sidewalk.

    Seungcheol looked to you, indicating that he was game. The way you smiled back at him, flushed in the apples of your cheeks, made his breath hitch.

“Sure!” you nodded excitedly. You’d also really enjoyed Nuri and Miseon and were happy to keep the night going.

    The four of you did some quick googling before settling on a bar a few blocks away. At the second crosswalk, you’d been a little too engaged in the conversation and nearly stepped into oncoming traffic. Without thought, Seungcheol had hooked his arm around your waist to pull you back and simply left it there. Your eyes flew to him at this touch. He was looking straight ahead and you were surprised when the idea of planting a kiss along his jaw popped into your mind. You flushed and shook your head when his head turned to look at you again.

    The bar was cute and the next hours passed quickly as you chatted with Nuri and Miseon and enjoyed the ambiance and music. A few times you had looked up to see Seungcheol’s dark eyes trained on you from across the bar and you’d flushed each time. Before too long you were saying your goodbyes and driving back home. The car was quiet as you and Seugcheol both reflected on the night.

    Even though he had framed it up as a ‘thank you’ dinner, you felt like that label didn’t quite fit. You might have been overthinking it, but Kyōten had been so intimate and the way that Seungcheol’s touches seemed to linger felt different than your usual closeness. You’d also been mistaken as a couple a few times and neither of you had bothered to correct them, which you usually did. Perhaps it was the context of being in a city you didn’t live in, but it just didn’t seem important this time.

    Seungcheol tapped his fingers against the gearshift as he drove. He’d known Kyōten might be a little more romantic than your typical dinner with a friend, but he’d chosen it because he’d overheard you share with Wren that you were really interested in trying omakase style dining. It hadn’t been totally conscious on his part, but he’d found himself finding ways to be closer to you throughout the evening and he’d been surprised at how you’d responded. You hadn’t shied away from his touch and he’d seen you blush a few times throughout the night in ways that made him wonder if his attraction towards you wasn't completely one sided.

“Did you have fun?” he asked, glancing towards you as he drove down the dark roads.

“Yes,” you beamed at him, “Although you spent entirely too much money, Cheol.”

“Hey!” he cut you off with a stern look, “I told you, this is a show of my appreciation. Let me just appreciate you.”

“Hm,” you pursed your lips at him, trying and failing to not imagine those words in a different context.

    Seungcheol pressed his tongue against his cheek. He’d always enjoyed the way you reacted when he teased you.

“Thanks for driving,” you threw him a smile before reaching for the door handle. You were eager to get out of this car, which felt entirely too hot right now.

“I’ll walk you,” he announced, leaving the car as well and stepping to your side.

“Oh?” you were surprised. This was not typical.

“I really enjoyed tonight,” he commented as you stepped onto the front stoop of your apartment building.

“Me too!” you beamed, eyes creasing softly at him.

“I want to tell you something,” he cleared his throat and your heart stopped.

“O-kay,” you nodded a moment later when you were actually able to retrieve your voice.

“I-, uh,” he cleared his throat again when he tried to speak. “You are very important to me, so I want you to know that nothing has to change between us after I say what I say.”

    You blinked at him, heart racing so fast that you were worried you wouldn’t be able to hear him over its beating.

“My life has changed a lot since you moved back. I am closer to my friends, the shop is doing really well, and I have a cat that I guess I love now. And that’s mostly because of you, so thank you for that. But also, I, uh, my feelings about you have changed. I think about you often and my house honestly just feels empty when you’re not there. So I like you,” he felt like he was shouting now, so he tried to reign it in, “I like you and you don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know.”

    Your brain had screeched to a halt and you were frozen throughout most of his confession. The cogs started turning again as he planted a soft kiss on your forehead and let you know he’d text you tomorrow. He was back in his car when you’d gathered yourself enough to run after him.

“Hey!” you practically jumped out in front of his car as he tried to leave the parking spot.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” he shouted, jumping out of the car after slamming on the brakes and putting it back in park.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” You couldn’t explain why, but you were fuming. “You need to be less careless with your words!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Seungcheol threw his hands up, completely caught off guard by the fact that you were…yelling at him?

“You can’t just call me ‘good girl’ while you’re tattooing my inner thigh or tell me you like me and then leave? What about me and my sanity?”

“What?” Seungcheol’s eyebrows raised into his hairline as he processed what you had said. Surely you didn’t mean…?

    He was taking too long to understand so you walked towards him, grabbed him by that damned pearl chain necklace, and pulled him into a kiss. He was surprised for just a moment before he was kissing you back intently.

“Were you doing it on purpose?” you asked between kisses.

“What?” he asked, not totally grasping what you were asking.

“Was it on purpose?” you reiterated, fingers teasing at the hairs on the back of his neck. “Your little touches, grabbing my waist? You were driving me crazy,” you exhaled sharply.

    Seungcheol paused at this confession, drawing back to look at you fully. His eyes raked over you and you grew hot under his gaze.

“It wasn’t, but I guess I couldn’t help myself,” he chuckled, lips curling into a half smile.

“Turn your car off,” you demanded and Seungcheol was more than happy to comply.

[blair-the-juggalho]

Hey this is my first time requesting😭i love your work could you do Ericsons group with reader who is really good at drawing if you haven’t already?

Ofc! and tysm lovely!<<<3333 I hope you enjoy! Sorry if any of these are short </3 and that it took awhile :p!!

TWDG Ericsson kids with a reader who’s a good drawer

Violet

She thinks your so amazingly talented!

And if you ever draw her anything she will keep every drawing

She’ll also make silly request that she doesn’t actually expect you to do but once you do them you manage to get this girl all emotional 🥲

She’d subtly encourage tenn to hang out with you more as you two are the only one who can draw at Ericsson’s lmao

Mitch

He thinks you and your drawings are sick!

He will also “jokingly” request that you draw him as some big badass dude on a motorcycle holding up a grenade with flames in the background

However if you do it you have this man actually bouncing his leg with excitement and giving you a compliment or two 🤫

That is going up on his wall along with any other drawings you’ve done

When your drawing, him and Willy will leave you be if you want to be alone

However they will come up to you a lot because they’re nosy and want to see what your up too lmao

Marlon

He thinks your talent is totally cool!

He will also proudly display any of your drawing all over his office and the school

He will try to encourage you to show off your talent more!

And he is your No1 hype man fr fr!

Also if you can draw animals, and you draw a picture of Rosie you know this man is gonna start tearing up

Louis

He will constantly hype you up!

He will boast about any drawing you did of him too

“Guess who was (names) lates model? Spoiler! It was me, I was (names) lates model.:)”

He will also make lots of silly requests that he never expects you do actually do

but if you do do them he’s jumping up n down like a mad man

He will also get you to draw him and his dream house (plus everyone in his “future band” lmao)

Your know ‘the head of any future music covers’

Tenn

Little dude is so exited that there’s another person who can draw!

You two always trade tips, drawing, and you always do silly drawing challenges together

He’s also always open to polite criticism and is definitely always willing to take a few drawing lessons from you

Everyone considers you the artist of the school and rightfully so

He will also look up to you and admire your work like a lot a lot!

Willy

He thought it was super awesome!

And little dude also wants some super cool drawing of him

Maybe even as a superhero or a swashbuckling pirate!

He will brag about all the drawings you’ve done of him lmao

He’s never been good at drawing since it was never his thing

However he’s always down to sit with you and do some silly doodles next to you

Aasim

He really respects your talent!

Sometimes he likes to sit next to you while you draw!

He wont say much but that’s because he’s to busy watching you lmao

He’s never really been one to draw but he totally wants to know how you learned and how you got that good!

He finds it very oddly satisfying to watch you draw

Omar

He really respects your talent too!

He thinks it’s very cool and low-key wants you to teach him a few things lmao

He also loves watching you draw its very calming!

He won’t make any requests but if you did draw him something, the dudes tearing up lmao

Ruby

She loves it when you draw

It’s all a sense of normality to her yk!

Whenever she sees you drawing she’ll just leave you too it but when your done she’s begging you to take a look lmao

And you should already know that she will always compliment you and your work lmao

“Wow (name) your gonna be the next da vinchi!”

Your art style is probably nothing like his but you get the idea lmao

Also I feel like she wouldn’t follow art anyway and she just said any famous artist she could think off

Brody

She really appreciate your skill!

She also finds it super relaxing to watch you draw

She’d never pressure you to draw anything or to show your drawings too her

However if you do this girl will feel so honoured

She’s never really been into drawing she would do small amateurish doodles now and again

She’d sit and draw next to you sometimes, if you where ok with that :)

[keanureevesisbae]

Henry Cavill x fem!reader 

Summary: Henry discovers something he really did not see coming.

Wordcount: 987

Warnings: Mention of sex

A/N: So, I caved and wrote a final third part 😂😂 This will be the last part!! I hope you enjoy xx

confession masterlist

His make-up artist’s name is Katie and Katie has a four year old son Luke. Luke is a real angel. Because of his mom’s job, Luke joins the set a lot when his father is unable to take him for the day. However, Luke never is a pain. He always is happy and adores the fact his mom got to work with Superman.

‘Oh no,’ Katie says. ‘I dropped something again.’

‘Don’t worry, mommy,’ Luke says, crouching down to get whatever she dropped. It’s the umpteenth time he picked something up his mother dropped, but since she’s seven months pregnant now, it’s harder for her to crouch down. But she and her husband raised Luke well and he doesn’t mind. 

She ruffles the soft hairs of the kindergartner. ‘Thanks sweetie, you’re so darling.’

‘I’m going to sleep over at Pete’s place today,’ Luke tells Henry. ‘He’s my best friend. He, his mom and stepdad and new sister Tess are going to pick me up. Mommy, when are they coming?’

‘Between now and five minutes or so?’ Katie says. ‘Henry, sit still.’

Henry jokingly exchanges a look with Luke, who giggles. ‘Yes boss,’ Henry says. ‘You excited for the sleepover at Pete’s?’ 

‘Yes,’ Luke says. ‘He is going to tell me how to take care of a little sister. His baby sister is eight months now.’

‘That’s sweet of Pete,’ Henry says. ‘Preparing you for big brotherhood.’

Four minutes pass, when the door opens. ‘Pete!’ Luke yells, jumping up and down in excitement, before hugging his best friend. Pete is a cute little guy, with wavy chocolate brown hair, a little bit taller than Luke. ‘This is Superman.’

‘No way,’ Pete says, as his eyes land on Henry. ‘He really is Superman.’ The little guy is very polite, because he instantly makes his way over to Henry, holding out his hand. ‘Hello,’ he says, holding out his hand. ‘My name is Pete.’

‘I’m Henry, lovely to meet you Pete.’ He looks the young boy in his eyes, only to see the kid has a patch of brown in his blue eyes. ‘Your eyes look similar to mine,’ Henry notes. 

Then Pete notices it too. ‘Wow, that is super awesome. I never met someone who had that.’

Luke’s mouth falls open. ‘Maybe that means you’ll be Superman too in the future,’ he whispers. ‘My friend is going to be Superman.’

As the two boys babble about the possibilities of Pete being the future Superman (little kids and their imagination), Katie says to Henry: ‘Wait just a minute.’

He hears her welcoming Pete’s mom, stepdad and also cooe about how adorable the baby is. ’Can I please hold her?’ Katie asks.

‘Go ahead,’ he hears a man’s voice.

‘Dad,’ Pete says, clearly fully embracing the fact that his stepdad feels like his dad, ‘this is Superman.’

His stepdad appears like a nice man. Very friendly, very kind and a man who looks like a man who’d be a dad. ‘Aha, Superman, nice to meet you, man.’

They exchange a quick word, when Pete walks away to drag his mom over here. ‘Mom, this is Superman. Superman, this is my mom.’

His blood stops rushing through his veins, as his eyes land on the woman. She looks the exact same…

Her eyes meet his and she blinks. ‘Oh,’ she says, after she pulled herself together, ‘it’s the actor.’ She smiles in a fake manner, as if they hadn’t had sex more than five years ago. 

‘Nice to meet you,’ Henry says, but his chest tightens, when realization hits.

Her husband must sense she’s acting a little bit different. ‘Honey, you alright?’ he asks, placing his hand on her back.

‘I’m fine,’ she says. ‘Just a little starstruck.’ 

Henry thought a lot about her, but he did the right thing. He had disabled the number and decided to move on with his life. They agreed it would be a one time thing and when he went on press tours again, he tried to forget about her.

But he couldn’t. She was on his mind a lot, every time he slept with someone else. She became the standard to which he holds every woman he sleeps with. 

And here she is, with a husband and two kids. They’re a happy family.

‘Anyways Katie,’ she says, ‘we’ve got to go. We need to pick up a few things for the sleepover. Boys, how do nacho’s and marshmallows sound?’

‘Delicious!’ Luke exclaims, wrapping his arms around her waist, almost like she’s his own mom. ‘See you tomorrow, mommy,’ he then says to his own mother, giving her a kiss.

‘Oh, I’ll miss you darling. Be sweet to them, okay?’

‘Will do. Bye Henry,’ he says with a smile. 

‘Bye kid.’

Katie hands little Tess to her again and says: ‘Oh, I could just eat the little girl,’ causing Tess to giggle. 

‘It was nice to meet you, Superman,’ Pete says and all of the sudden Henry sees so much of himself in the kid. The same smile, the eyes and the little waves in his brownish hairs. 

‘It was nice to meet you too,’ Henry says. He says his goodbyes to her husband and she looks at him one more time. 

He shouldn’t have disabled the number. He bets she tried to call him. 

She clenches her jaws and purses her lips for a split second, before she smiles in an empty manner again. ‘Goodbye Henry,’ she says. Her eyes tell it all and he got the message.

He needs to stay away.

Henry wonders what would’ve happened if he hadn’t disabled the phone. If he could’ve taken the call. He wants kids, he always knew he one day wanted to become a father.

And he just blew it. He could’ve gotten himself a family.

So, he doesn’t do anything and watches her happy family and Luke walk out of there.

At least, not yet.

♧ ♧ ♧

Taglist:@diegos-butt // @cherry-gemz // @crazybutconfidentaf // @sillyrabbit81 // @thelastsock // @enchantedbytomandhenry // @lyrarodriguez // @islacharlotte // @summersong69 // @sunshine96love // @oddsnendsfanfics // @gearhead66 // @xobriellaxo24 // @xuxszx // @liecastillo // @sofiebstar // @eldarwen333 // @omgkatinka // @abschaffer2 // @pterodactylterrace // @kebabgirl67 // @henryownsme // @collegesleezy // @alexa-fangirl-forever // @viking-raider // @kneelforloki // @castiellawolfkissed // @aami98 // @inlovewithhisblueeyes // @hail-horror-queen // @perssepeony

[skadiyoko]

Okay, like, Matt’s been in AH videos BEFORE he was even hired. Wasn’t the first Minecraft we saw him in Griffball? And everyone in AH immediately liked him bc he smacked Gavin? Like, we as a community knew axialmatt, and were excited when the guys played one of his maps! And then he and Jeremy (AH fan artist AND fan fiction extraordinaire) get hired to do their DREAM job! And I hate to say a good chunk of the community took a LONG time to warm up to them (especially Matt, but Ray leaving soon after they were hired I think really threw a wrench in things too), but eventually they got comfortable and clicked into their places in AH, and it was like they were there the whole time!

And especially recently, Matt specifically has been KILLING it! He’s so creative, and funny, and his humor is sarcastic and dry, but he’s GENUINELY so kind, you can just tell. Like, this sucks, everyone’s pissed, WB are burning their company to the ground and idk if RT has any way of getting out of there, but they really need to, bc this is only the beginning.

Challenge Accepted and the Randomizers are, imo, the best content in AH right now. I even watched the Raft series, even though I have no interest in that game, bc Matt kept me there! Shark mage was the best! I love the rest of the cast, I really do, but at this point in AH’s life, Matt and Michael are def my fav members. It just sucks, I’m taking it better than when Ray left (I was a damn mess through that;;), but maybe that’s bc he’s still PT? We’ll see how long that lasts, I’ve really been enjoying seeing him in Chilled’s Among Us lobbys, and if he had more time to devote to streaming, he’ll prob hang out with that crowd more, which would be awesome tbh.

Does anyone know if he has a YT VOD channel? I have a thing, I don’t know why, but I don’t like watching livestreams. They make me anxious for whatever reason;; So VODs are a lifesaver for me, so please let me know if you know! 🧡

And yeah, that’s my jumbled thoughts on the matter. WB is ruining RTAH, and it sucks to see, and I really, really, really hope they SOMEHOW get out of that company. Easier said than done, I know, but it just sucks to have had to see all of the obvious change they’ve had to go through since they were put under them, and are still going through. AH cast and content used to be so colorful and bright and happy, but as much as I enjoy how they’ve matured, and still have fun together, the contrast from the past, more care-free AH is drastic. The past however many years, it’s just noticeable how dark their spaces have been, like, it’s kind of dreary looking at them compared to, let’s say, their tiny OG office. Like, that room was always so full of life! And their past few spaces have just been… sad looking.. and also, they’re not quiet about scheduling. Matt and Michael talked about how Sarah had been breathing down their necks for like, half the Wind Waker randomizers bc they were taking too long, and every time they brought it up it bummed because out, bc I HATE they’re being rushed to make content! Idk who thought a Zelda randomizer was going to be less than like, 8 episodes anyway! But that just suggests to me they’re not enjoying playing the game as much as they could be, bc they’re being bitched at about it behind the scenes. Plus other random, too-businesslike things I smell just bc I’m an employee of a big business, and like, I can TELL they don’t have as much freedom as they should have, and it sucks.

like, I really don’t like getting into the “AH was better when it was just the OG cast 😤”, because those people annoy me (I don’t know why they just don’t stop watching if they just complain every video how they hate current AH? But that’s a can of worms I don’t want to open), BUT I do hate what big business has been doing to them, I hope Matt settles into the path that is right for him, the AH members someday gain their freedom back, and WB burns in hell. It’s 3:30am, I got a bit off track with this post, goodnight.

Edit:

After seeing more information come out, Big Yikes, looks like RT has been shitty even before WB sunk their claws in. I know back in 2013 they would make shitty, offensive jokes and call people babies for being upset when they were called out on them, but as I said before, one of the biggest things I’m thankful for is the vast majority of them [AH] have matured, and realized slurs aren’t funny. The community still, for the most part, gets on my nerves for MANY reasons, but I never get too into any kind of community anyway (so I can actually enjoy the media I’m consuming). All that being said, this looks like the beginning of a real big garbage fire, and I just hope all the good RT/AH people find their way to a happier life, and all the shitty assholes get what’s coming to them.

[dippedanddripped]

Old Nollywood aesthetics and fashion may be considered trendy today, but the films were not always so well-regarded. In the 90s and early 2000s, when these movies were made and watched in parlours across Nigerian homes as they were shot, straight-to-video, they were considered as bad entertainment, or ‘low culture’. To watch and enjoy Nollywood films was to celebrate mediocrity. But today, nostalgic young Millennials and Gen Zers are overlooking the jarring audio, grainy pictures, and sometimes hammy acting, to appreciate not only the grooming and style of the actors, but the original and diverse stories that reflect unique Nigerian experiences.

It was for this reason that sisters Tochi and Ebele Anueyiagu started Nolly Babes, a nostalgic Instagram account dedicated to celebrating the cinematic period’s women. Started in December 2017, their first post was of Nollywood’s biggest star Genevieve Nnaji; a still taken from 2004 film Sharon Stone In Abuja, directed by Adim Williams. Nnaji plays the titular character, a sexually liberated young woman who uses her beauty and charm to ensnare unassuming men into doing her bidding.

The account is an ode to the female characters of old Nollywood who were often portrayed as warning examples. The storylines were steeped in moral principles rooted in the patriarchal culture and the dominant Christian religion of Southern Nigeria. A large number of the female characters were considered immoral because they kissed other women, challenged men, smoked and drank, or wore mini skirts. Today, Nolly Babes and similar accounts are reimagining these women, taking their scenes out of the moralistic context of the films, and turning them into iconic feminist personas.

The first time Nollywood content seeped into the mainstream internet consciousness can be traced back to 2017 when videos of Nollywood’s favourite comedic duo Chinedu Ikedieze and Osita Iheme, better known as Aki and Pawpaw, rose to popularity due mostly to the influence of a now-defunct Twitter account @nollywoodroll ran by Nicole, a woman based in Brazil.

Their memes became the go-to reaction videos for expressing a wide range of emotions: joy, disappointment, sadness, frustration. The appeal was in seeing children making mischief or in adult situations – drinking beer and smoking cigars, wooing bigger women, or in oversized suits shouting instructions at people twice their size. Although both Ikedieze and Iheme were in their 20s in the early 2000s when most of the films were made, they mostly played children because of their body stature. By 2019, the memes had achieved such virality that brands like Rihanna’s Fenty would use them for social media clout.

Theodora Imaan Beauvais is the curator of Yung Nollywood, another archive of clips and stills from old Nollywood paying homage to its controversial female characters, after screenshotting moments from Nollywood she found “appealing or inspirational”. Yung Nollywood is remarkably distinct from Nolly Babes for its subtitling of the films’ stills from Nollywood films, something she attributes to Tumblr. While the idea to give witty captions to the actors’ facial expressions came from watching Netflix. “I thought, ‘If someone could describe Nollywood reactions in short phrases it’d be an art form on its own,’ and I became that someone.’”

In December 2019, Tochi and Ebele hosted a Nollywood-themed party in Lagos. Nollywood actor and musician Nonso Bassey attended the party dressed in a two-piece jean set and bucket hat, a signature look of the bad boy/alpha male archetype, and a role reprised multiple times by older actors such as Hanks Anuku, Emeka Ike, and Jim Iyke. Since that party, Nonso has attended social functions and premieres in outfits that make a nod to the fashion choices of that era of Nollywood. He insists, though, that he isn’t cosplaying Nollywood characters of that era. “I’ve always been attracted to the idea of merging old world charm with a new school approach,” he said.

The party caused a cultural stir amongst Nigerians and Africans both at home and in the diaspora – every other week, there seems to be a Nollywood-themed party held either in Lagos or London. Take for instance friends and business partners Imani Okunubi and Aseosa Uwagboe, two Nigerian-British kids who grew up in the UK. Nollywood was one of the ways they could connect back to their roots. That experience informs their event brand, Lasgidi to London, targeted at Nigerians living in the UK. “We wanted to create events that were reminiscent of the Naija hall parties (Owambe) we attended as kids, as we don’t want to see that culture die,” Aseosa said. Their next owambe is a Nollywood-themed party and guests are expected to come dressed in their “best nolly Y2K aesthetic”.

Below, the Nolly Babes sisters talk about creating and hosting the first Nollywood-themed party and the cultural moment it has inspired.

How did that first event come about – please take me through it, from the planning to how it turned out?

Nolly Babes: From the inception of Nolly Babes, we knew we had to throw a party. Fashion is a huge part of what makes Nolly Babes different from other Nollywood-themed pages and we knew we were the only ones that could set Nolly Babes as the dress code and have people commit as they did. There are many iconic Nollywood scenes and scenarios. The daughter meeting her evil mother-in-law, the ominous visit to the Babalawo, the campus stroll – just the mere mention of these scenes evokes images that have been embedded in the minds of our fellow Nollywood enthusiasts. The party scene is probably the most iconic of them all. Whether it’s in a club, a mansion while mum and dad are out of town (but coming home early to crash the whole thing) or poolside, the Nolly Babes party scene has its staples: mad music, dancing, and sick outfits.

December in Lagos is notoriously hectic. On each day, there are day parties, beach hangouts, concerts, and we just knew we had to be a part of it. Our flyer was the first thing we made sure was done right, and that has been replicated (but never duplicated) many many times. We went through at least six drafts of that until we got the flyer to be a realistic replica of the home video covers from the golden era. The DJs Kemi Lijadu and vIVENDII Sounds understood the assignment and played music from the Nolly Babes era. We’re talking Tony Tetuila, Mo Hitz, Wande Coal, Plantation Boyz… We curated a special cocktail menu: Genny Colladas, Jim Iyke’s Hard Lemonade, MargaRita Dominic, and our Lagos Island Iced Tea, in tribute to Nollywood stars Genevieve Nnaji, Jim Iyke, and Rita Dominic respectively. We had a video projection on the famous red wall at Nok showing a mashup of emblematic scenes. We were partying while seeing images of a young Jim Iyke dressed just like many of the attendees were dressed. It was magical! We have an event we’re planning in New York for the summer – it’s going to be a madness.

Did you envisage it becoming the cultural movement it’s now become?

Nolly Babes: We really didn’t. We hosted the party because we knew people were taking inspiration from our page for styling jobs and music video treatments, and wanted to give everyone a chance to recreate some of their favourite looks. Now every week we see people planning Nollywood-themed parties and sending people to our page for references. It’s awesome. Toke Makinwa even recently attended a Nolly Babes-themed party and she was dressed as a character we have immortalised – Regina Askia in President’s Daughter. She killed it! Even though the character wasn’t referenced, it was clear as day and it was awesome to see that she pulled it off! Honestly, when we see people really pay attention to detail and execute the theme well it’s so, so dope.

How has TikTok helped grow Nollywood's influence? You posted a scene from Girls Cot, the famous “you stink with poverty” clip on TikTok and it went viral and birthed these recreations even by non-Africans.

Nolly Babes: We’re just happy to see that another aspect of Nollywood that we champion – the iconic scenes and one-liners – is also resonating across the world. We see Nolly Babes as an archival work and as much as we focus on beauty and looks on Instagram, it’s nice to be able to point people in the direction of the scenes that are forever embedded in our brains. These are scenes we recreated in jest ourselves before there was even a Nolly Babes to begin with, so to see it catching on TikTok is exciting and a new frontier for us to fully explore. I think what distinguishes Nolly Babes from other Nollywood pages and what contributes to our TikTok success is that we really watch Nollywood movies. We grew up watching these movies and continue to do so now so we can capture those moments in films that the casual consumer or poster of Nollywood content might not.

What are your thoughts on Nollywood’s influence on the Alté scene? Music videos of artists such as Lady Donli and Odunsi nod to the aesthetic and fashion styles of that era.

Nolly Babes: Nollywood, and specifically the aesthetic we have shone a spotlight on, is probably one of the biggest influences in terms of visuals in that scene right now. I have never seen so many Eucharia (Anunobi) eyebrows on TV and we love it! It’s awesome to see our images and scenes being used in treatments and storyboards. If we’re being candid, we think it would be great if we got the chance to step into our stylist/creative direction bag and help with the execution of the aesthetic.

“The bottom line is really that Nolly Babes has brought what was already an international cultural influence to the modern social media realm with a new lens” – Nolly Babes

How far do you see Nollywood's influence on pop culture, beyond Nigeria and Africa?

Nolly Babes: When we moved to New York we found our Dominican and South American friends had also grown up watching Nollywood films. The bottom line is really that Nolly Babes has brought what was already an international cultural influence to the modern social media realm with a new lens. Nollywood clips were online everywhere – but it was always in a comedic way. Aki and PawPaw are meme gods now, and that’s because their expressions transcend cultural boundaries. Black Twitter eats that stuff up.

Nolly Babes chooses to center the beauty, style, and iconic imagery, even the home decor with our #NollyDecor hashtag of the golden era of Nollywood. We share the makeup, accessories, fashion, iconic phrases, and scenes in a way that isn’t just comedic but inspirational and aesthetically groundbreaking. I see Nollywood being at the centre of this Y2K resurgence that is happening all over the world, from TV to runways and fashion collections. That era is coming back around and, this time, the Black experience is being revisited and centered in a way it wasn’t back in the late 90s and 2000s. (Black people) were always the originators of the trends and this time they’re tapping into the source and Nollywood, particularly the era we celebrate as Nolly Babes, is a great resource for that.

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[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[an-emovision]

❞𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦❞ - 𝕋𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝔸𝕞𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕜𝕚

~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ A/N: Hi! so uhhhh had this in my drafts, im gonna post it and pretend i like it because thats how i roll. I love tamaki so much please. again, art isnt mine, credits to the original artist (idk who it is, if you know then please tell me so i can give credit) neewayz enjoy! Trigger Warnings(s): Fluff(?)  ~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ ❞𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙❞ --------- You were a very outgoing person, very cheery and kind, always willing to talk to people and make friends. The almost exact opposite of Amajiki and yet he just couldn't seem to stop himself from falling for you. Every day he always found himself stealing glances of you in class, occasionally the two would lock eyes. You'd smile that brilliantly bright smile of yours and make Amajikis stomach do back flips and his heart flutter, he would always turn away before any further contact could be made. On one particular day Nejire had asked you to sit with the big three at lunch, to which you happily agreed to. Amajiki almost had a melt down when Nejire had told him, to which Mirio patted him on the back giving him a "you got this dude!" a grin, and a thumbs up. It made the poor boy feel...slightly better but as you approached them in the cafeteria Amajiki tried his best to keep himself together. Why did you have to be so attractive? how dare you, it was unfair really. He just couldn't take his eyes off you, confidence radiated from your form. Mirio once told him that if he waited to long that someone would steal you, Nejire agreed. You were after all one of the most popular students at UA, not only was your quirk amazing and your fighting skills godly but your looks where beyond words, Amajiki was painfully aware of these facts. "Hi guys!" You grinned and Tamaki almost fainted. "Glad you could join us!" Nejire smiled as she took you by the wrist and dragged you to their lunch table, you couldn't help but giggle at her excitement as she asked you a bunch of questions about you and your quirk. Most of the quirk questions she asked she most likely already knew the answer to, you four being in the same class and all. Nejire took a seat next to Mirio, across from you and Amajiki. "Soooo Y/N...Do you have a crush on anybody?" Nejire asked suddenly, making you choke on the tea you where sipping on. "I-I uh-" You tried to avoid looking at Nejires grinning features, she already knew the answer to her question. Of course you did and it was none other then the boy you where sitting next to, you didn't answer her question, simply coughed and continued to sip on your drink. She sucked her teeth, unsatisfied with your answer, if you could even call it that. Mirios eyes wandered to Nejire then to Tamaki who was silently eating his food, his face was beet red at how close you and him were, your shoulders where brushing against each other. Then Mirio looked at you, whos cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink as you tried to brush off the last conversation topic. He rolled his eyes and had to fight the urge to just blurt out that the two of you should date each other already. Soon the lunch bell rang and it was time to head back to class, Amajiki let out a soft sigh as the four of you started heading to your shared classroom, you and Nejire chatting about a show that she had starting watching recently. Mirio fell behind them a bit so he could walk beside Tamaki. "So, When are you gonna tell them?" He asked, knowing full well that it would take some sort of miracle to get Amajiki to confess to his crush of two years. The shorter gave a small shrug before slipping his hands into his pockets. "I-I don't know...Really i don't think i ever will. " He again let out a gentle, almost sad sigh "I dont think i'm good enough for them, they're so amazing." "Aw come on Tamaki! you're part of the big three!" Mirio gently nudged him with his elbow, to which Tamakjis eyes wandered to the opposite direction. "They think you're awesome" "Well yeah but they're right behind us on the list of top students" Amajiki informed him. It was true, you were almost part of the big three yourself but you ended up failing a test by 6 points and getting knocked to fourth. You didn't mind, you where pretty comfortable in your spot. "What're you guys talkin' about?" Nejire asked, walking backwards and looking at them with the same sweet smile she always had gracing her soft features. "How awesome Y/N is" Mirio patted Amajikis back, making him let out a soft hum. You tilted your head "Oh yeah? im honored." You smiled "You guys are way cooler then i am." Nejire giggled, Tamaki stiffened at her sudden question "So which of our quirks is your favorite, Y/N?" You hummed, tapping your chin for a moment. Tamaki expected you to say Nejires quirk seeing as you two have been friends since you both stepped into class 1-A in your 1st year at UA. "I think Amajikis quirk is the coolest" You smiled to him, Tamaki noticed and then you smiled it was as if your eyes where smiling to, his heart practically exploded, barely able to get out a 'thank you'. You giggled at his shyness, finding it adorable as always. Nejire couldn't help but giggle at the two of you, Mirios grin widened as he two watched you to. "Nice choice Y/N" Nejire smiled as she took you by the hand as you four made it to class, seeing as you and her sat next to each other she lead you to your seats, ready to take on the rest of your day you sat down as class began. As the end of the day rolled around you stretched as you made your way to the front of your dorm building. You had some homework to do as well as some studying, then you thought you could train a bit then- You had bumped into someone, not to hard it just startled you a bit as you where to deep in thought, planning out the rest of your day. You quickly bowed "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying atten-...Amajiki? what're you doing here?" You had bumped into Tamaki, not only that but he was standing in front of your dorm room. "O-Oh I uh- I-I" He stumbled harshly through his words, on top of that he was mumbling. You noticed a small piece of folded paper in his slightly trembling hands and smiled, just as you noticed it he stopped mumbling and actually spoke up a bit. "I-I just- I wanted t-to give this to you" he held out the slip of paper, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. You gently took the paper from him but before you could get another word out he scurried down the hall and disappeared around the corner. You watched him leave, letting out a small chuckle before unlocking your door and walking in, closing the door behind you with your foot and gently setting your school bag down. The day before, after class Mirio had suggested to Amajiki that he should write you a letter if he couldn't just out right tell you. "Like...A love letter?" Tamaki tilted his head. He didn't know how he felt about that, his writing skills weren't bad he just dreaded having to wait for your response, not only that but even considering rejection as a factor made him wanna puke. "Don't worry, i'm like 90% sure that even if they do reject you they'll be nice about it" Mirio gave a thumbs up as he finally convinced Amajiki to start on the letter that could make or break him. It was a huge deal, you were his first ever crush and he never thought in a million years he would be confessing to you. "They're nice about everything" Tamaki mumbled as he continued to write his letter. Miro chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Exactly, you have nothing to worry about." Tamaki wondered why he was so confident about this, maybe Mirio knew you would turn him down? Thinking about that being a possibility created a pit of nervousness in his stomach. Really it was the opposite, Mirio knew you would say yes, he was just excited to finally see his favorite ship finally become a couple. Back to the present you took a seat on your bed before unfolding the note and beginning to read it. Your eyes where wide as saucers when you finished reading it, the final sentence replaying in your mind at least a hundred times "Will you go out with me?"Butterflies invaded your stomach and your cheeks flushed, you decided to give him your answer tomorrow, wanting it to sink in that the boy you've had a crush on since the dawn of time liked you back. Amajiki was dying in his room as he awaited your answer, Mirio who had come over to study with him was laughing his ass off at the boys struggle. The next day you where standing in front of Amajikis dorm room with both Mirio and Nejire at your side, they had their phones out ready to take pictures of this momentous occasion. You took a deep breath before gently knocking on his door three times, it took him a moment or two before he opened the door, he immanently stiffened as he locked eyes with you. Bracing himself for rejection he waited for it but all he heard were the words he had been wanting to hear for the past two years "I like you to Amajiki" Nejire squealed and clapped as Mirio laughed "finally oh my god" Mirio said crossing his arms. Amajiki stood frozen, having to register what just happened, after coming to the conclusion that the love of his life did indeed just agree to date him he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and pulled you towards him by the wrist, placing his slightly quivering lips against your silky smooth ones. Nejire practically screamed as she took about a thousand pictures, Mirio looked away jokingly acting disgusted but he couldn't hold back his happiness for his friends, they found love and he was beyond proud of Amajiki for going through with his plan.   Your eyes where wide and your face was crimson by the time Amajiki pulled away. He started to apologize profusely as he realized what he just did, which resulted in you having to tell him it was fine over and over again. The two where walking together hand in hand as you made your way to class, as shy as he may be he still wanted everyone in the world and their mother know that you belonged to him now and nothing walking this Earth was going to change that. 

[dutchannanas]

Introducing Gonhills

About Gonhills

I discovered a really awesome artist who goes by the name of Gonhills. (The name derives from Yongsan, one of the smaller towns in Seoul. Short for dragon Hills.) He is part of FOREIGN LANDS together with other Asian American artists (Suah, JAWNZ, Midas Klay, 2lanes). Last month they held first liveshow together in NYC. I got to know this 31-y/o talented man, thanks to Clubby Yoo, who is also part of the label.

Fun fact: besides music, Gonhills loves to fish, play golf and cook.

If you keep up with the khiphop side of my blog, then you'll know that Flowsik is my favourite rapper. While talking to Gonhills, I was very excited to learn about their friendship. For me, Flowsik is an artist who I look up to, and who motivates me to become a better version of myself. For Gonhills, Flowsik is not just his friend but also his mentor.

This is story: when he was in high school, he took a casual interest in music. He lived in Seoul back then. After meeting Flowsik in Korea, music became a serious thing. I asked him about their meeting: "Think i met flowsik back in 2014-2015ish a year before smtm season 5 started. Tru a mutual friend who's also a rapper from back in the days called "Rousseau"". I think most of us are happy that these two amazing men met each other. I mean, Gonhills is more than "just a rapper", he is also a producer, songwriter and lyricist. Before I forget, Gonhills told me that he was there at the LA auditions, but wasn't ready so he didn't audition.

I got super excited finding out that the very reason I got obsessed with Flowsik, the music video/ song 'Wet' featuring Jessi, he took a part writing in this song. Even though he "helped them with toplines and lyrics here n there" I think he's fucking awesome. He took part in writing other songs too, try to find them yourselves ;)

About his music

From his website: “Mission Statement: Make uplifting music for Asian American communities and abridge the cultural gaps that exist among different cultures.”

When I asked him about his goals/ dreams, he told me about one of them: “-becoming an artist that other artists want to work with”.

Since Gonhills is a small artist, so finding info takes some more time. The reason why he joined or was invited to the be part of FOREIGN LANDS is because everyone there shares a smiliair goal: bringing Asian Americans together through music.

Back to his music, he raps in a mix of Korean and English. About his own album 'Departure | 출국': This album is a collection of my experiences living as a foreigner in the U.S. for the past 15 years and redefining my Korean roots. With my formative years in the U.S, my own perception of racial and ethnic identity would often see-saw between pride and resentment. “Departure” features contemplations on my own identity that often felt too heavy, abstract, and subtle to describe. These themes are wholeheartedly expressed through various genres such as Lo-fi, Reggae, Dupstep and Trap. My hope is that others can relate to my reflections and continue the conversation.

As I don't know Korean and there's no translation to be found, I asked him myself if he could give an indepth description of 3 songs.

Coreanos

 This is a track about me coming to U.S as an immigrant and how I got synchronized to the U.S culture/standards. From the way I talk to dress, there are certain standards that are placed onto foreigners and I wanted to explore that emotion in this song. I also took a part in beatmaking for this track!

Subway

While I was in Korea doing music, I used to ride subways to get to places. A subway ride is a perfect metaphor to describe life in Korea. While these safe vessels/vehicles move us from one place to another, we are expected to stay quiet, wait in line and follow a bunch of crowd to exit out of a hell hole. I thought it’d be fun to make a song out of it :) 

Jjam

 So from year 2013-2015, I served in the Korean Army to fulfill my mandatory duty as a Korean citizen. My role was a tank driver and I drove the K-227 Armor Vehicle for 2 years. I met many Korean friends during this time and I wanted to make a song about them.

Final words

I feel incredibly honored getting to know Gonhills. He is a man with a big heart and ambitious mind. I wish him all the success in the world and I can't wait to see him perform live someday. I would like to add that writing this blog wasn't possible without the man himself, so I am grateful that he could make time for me in his busy schedule :)

The more time I spend on this blog, the more of a fan I became :D

I hope I was able to spark your interest, thank you for reading & please check out his music!

-Anna

Socials:

Website: https://www.gonhills.com/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3iHJKqkuPN45iZUjREBEp0?si=i7kiWMxGSaKWY6ftNBCqXA&utm_source=copy-link

Instagram: https://instagram.com/gonhills?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7SglYrpjJwsUisWIWTJ4_g/featured

[thefirsttree]

A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind…  I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

[silentprincess17]

The Perils of Swimming

This fic is a collab between me and the wonderfully talented artist @neivaloz on tumblr! Check out her awesome artwork that accompanies this fic! I love how we inspired each other and I look forward to more!

Summary: Link agrees to go swimming with Zelda when she gets her body back. He does not think this through, because there is one major problem: he can't swim.

Read on AO3 here!

Now that the sea in Aboda Village was directly in front of him, with Zelda no longer a ghost and made of flesh and skin, her promise of taking him out to swim actually a reality and not a passing comment at Papuchia Village, Link was beginning to regret the rashness with which he had said yes.

He hadn’t expected her to actually take it seriously. In the throes of the whirlwind adventure, he hadn’t anticipated she would actively remember, let alone take it to heart- it was now... four months since they had reclaimed the Ocean Realm? Which means it was roughly two months since they defeated Malladus. Towards the end, time seemed to fuse together, and life boiled down to essentially overcoming whatever barrier was in their way at the time. First it was restoring the tracks, then obtaining the Compass, followed by the Bow of Light and finally entering the Dark Realm to fight Malladus with the Lokomo Sword strapped to his back. By the time they reached the Compass, Link had more or less lost all notion of time, as Zelda and he grew progressively more panicked with each setback and it became an increasingly hectic race to save her body…

Link had chosen to stick with his engineering, primarily. He still felt he was more of a rookie soldier who only knew how to perform vague attacks that just so happened to work out in his favour, and without Zelda’s help as a Phantom he most certainly would have failed from the get-go. With that in mind, he chose to continue with what he had trained for up until now: to pilot the trains with mechanical engineering as his mainstay. Still, he didn’t want to completely lose what sword skills he had developed, so he regularly stopped at Hyrule Castle to train with Captain Russel and his guards. (The latter was really just an excuse to see Zelda before. Or afterwards. Most of the time it was both.)

And yesterday, Friday night, was one of those times he had gone to training, visiting Zelda before he supposedly went home for the weekend.

What he hadn’t expected was for her to insist on coming with him back to Aboda Village. He would never refuse her anything, and he assumed she might have wanted to meet Alfonso, or Niko, or really just visit his hometown, and he had agreed, staying at the castle that night. Zelda had long since given him a room close to hers, as a “more convenient place to stay” seeing how central the castle was to the rest of Hyrule.

Taking all that together, it was a surprise when she dragged him across to the small beach, where the sun sparkled against the deep blue sea, unclasped her belt that had the small sash attached to it, and pulled her dress off.

He gaped, before hurriedly turning away, “Zel! What are you doing?!”

“Taking my dress off silly, I’ve got my swimsuit underneath! We’re going swimming! I’ve finally, finally, caught up with the paperwork that accumulated whilst we were on our journey, and I finished my lessons in advance this week, for this reason! I know it’s not Papuchia, but there’s always a next time!”

What? Swimming? NEXT TIME?!

Nope, he had to ignore that for now. There was the issue of surviving the first-time round.

Because the idiot that he was, he couldn’t swim!

He lived in what was basically a seaside town, and yet, he couldn’t even paddle in the water, let alone swim.

He would drown as soon as the water reached higher than his neck!

“Link? It’s not too late, is it? I know it’s a little bit later than what I originally intended for when asking you, but there was just so much reordering to do in the Kingdom. Plus, you remember the whole scribing thing we had to undertake; it all took up so much more time than I expected. And then the weather was just awful this past week whenever I had some free time...”

Oh yes, he remembered the scribing. That whole incident had happened a week after their return to the castle, where Link had stayed behind both to physically recover himself from exhaustion and his wounds, and simultaneously help Zelda adjust to the land of the living.

On the first day, she had walked into so many doors and walls he thought she might have concussed herself, she regularly forgot she had to eat, and she didn’t have any fear of heights, despite the fact that falling with a body had pretty serious consequences. Consequently, Link felt honour bound to try to help her to remember she was, in fact, Hylian, and as such susceptible to many perils that she seemed to have forgotten over the course of the long months she spent as a spirit. Plus, she was very cute, and he blushed every time he felt her grip his hand excitedly, or drag his arm towards a bookshelf, or give him impromptu hugs for helping her.

Niko had cornered them after a week, wondering where Link had gotten too. When he found the two of them nibbling on sweet buns from Castle Town, a book on maps wedged firmly on their thighs, Link’s arm resting on the panel just above her shoulders; Niko had pulled a right fit. He had fussed over Link before declaring he would now create a tapestry to commemorate the newest iteration of legendary events. And that had taken the better part of two weeks to complete, and was now referred to as the “scribing” by Zelda and him.

“Link! Are you going to change your clothes or not? That’s the second reason why I didn’t drag you to Papuchia, because I forgot to tell you to pack your trunks.” She paused, “You do have trunks, right?”

No, no he didn’t. He’d just sacrifice an old pair of cargo pants he had. It would be fine. Probably. He made a vague motion towards his house, before deciding to put the Hero’s cap on. It would hopefully hold some of his hair back, and it would bring him luck on this death quest he was about to embark on.

Why?

Why did he put himself through this?

He sighed. He knew the answer.

This was all because he couldn’t say no to her.

He shuffled back into his home, Niko popping up whilst he half-heartedly opened his wardrobe and shuffled around some more. Spirits. He didn’t want to go back out. He didn’t want to admit to Zelda he didn’t know how to swim. Worse still, he didn’t want her to think badly of him for living by a seaside town, and yet, never having learnt such an essential skill.

Niko hobbled across on his cane to Link, peering around the wardrobe door.

“What’s with the long face? I thought you’d be excited, bringing the Princess over. Yes boy, I know she’s here, everyone heard the two of you enter town. It’s a small place, Link.”

He fished out an old, half-faded blue pair of shorts. “Zelda wants to go swimming, Niko.”

Niko’s eyes widened, “What? But you-”

Link slammed the wardrobe door shut with perhaps more force than necessary. “I know.”

Niko hesitated, before he placed a gnarled hand on Link’s shoulder. “I have a question for you Link… Do you know of any of Princess Zelda’s weaknesses?”

Well, that one was easy. “She’s absolutely terrified of mice. She will literally jump into my arms, or onto my back, to escape them.” He chuckled, “Even as a giant Phantom, three times my height, she couldn’t come near one.” He hesitated, thinking back to their recent conversations on her balcony under the stars, “She’s also scared of not doing well... but I guess this is a fear we all have…”

“That’s your answer then, Link.”

Huh? Why would knowing what Zelda was scared of make any difference?

“I can see you are still confused. Let me make it clearer. Did you judge the Princess for having those failings? Did you at any point think less of her?”

He vehemently shook his head, before stopping midway as it finally sunk in.

Oh.

Niko simply tapped his cane against the floor twice, before ambling off. “I’ll make some fried chicken for you both. One always gets hungry after swimming in the sea.”

Link scrambled into his shorts, and then ran out, just as Zelda walked up to meet him. “You were gone for an awfully long time, Link. I don’t want to imagine how disorganised your wardrobe is-”

The words bubbled out, “Zelda I don’t know how to swim.”

“-at least you’ve got some… are those even trunks? Well-”

“Zelda.” He grabbed her hand, shaking her arm a little, “Zelda!”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to swim.”

She stared, stupefied. “Why didn’t you say? I would have brought my floats!”

It was his turn to gape. “Floats?”

She waved her hands in the air. “You know those things you use to keep you upright in the water.” A frown grew on her face, “Wait, does everyone here not know how to swim? That’s quite dangerous! We’ll have to change that.”

She shook her head, gently clasped his hand, pulling him along, “But that’s for later. I’ll teach you today, Link, if you want?”

He nodded, and she smiled.

“Let’s start off with paddling first, and then progress to basic kicks!”

Time flew by again, as he started off gently peddling his feet in the water, arms spread out wide, head just about jutting above the water line as he hovered, suspended in the sea, for the first time. Once he’d mastered just holding his weight in the water they proceeded onto kicks. That involved first thrashing his legs whilst gripping onto the ridge of land to hold himself in place. Then he advanced to doing one leg at a time like a proper swimming pattern. Zelda wrapped her arms around his middle, and he had a go at moving both arms and legs in synchrony.

He was surprised she could carry him, “Link, I do exercise you know. I’m not just a fluffy Princess. Being a Phantom was quite the experience.”

She heaved him higher, and he spluttered in the water, thrashing his arms a bit at the unexpected heave, “I liked being strong, and being able to help you. So, I’m going to do the best I can with my current body too. You never know, it might prove useful on our next adventure!”

He could only smile. He thanked the Spirits for giving him the chance to meet Zelda. For going on their convoluted journey. For having her as his best friend.

Soon enough, she gently let go of him, and moved to interlock her fingers with his hands as she guided him through the waves, his legs doing the measured, purposeful kicks they had practised.

He was so focussed, he hadn’t at all noticed Alfonso on the shore, until he called out to them, probably wondering what Link was even doing in the water. Zelda told Link to keep on kicking his legs as she slowly walked backwards, screamed back that he was okay and that he was learning to swim. Both of them cringed as they heard Alfonso guffaw loudly and watched as he shook his head, walking off towards the station.

“Well, we’re nearly there, Link!” She loosened her grip on his left hand, moving to clasp his wrist instead, “I’m barely holding onto you! You’re doing it! You’re swimming!”

And he gave her the biggest smile he could, as she slowly let go, wading backwards, and he swam by himself towards her, for the very first time.

Suddenly, the idea of doing this again was no longer so horrifying.

What was there to worry about when he had Zelda, his partner, his best friend, by his side?